People can call it the honeymoon phase and laugh at me. I don’t care because I know the truth. When I met you all those moons ago, you were everything I had begged and hoped and prayed for. And it wasn’t over the top, we just clicked and you understood my needs and met them so perfectly. Of course, we had our fights and disagreements, but we solved them in a way I’d never seen before. You were my everything and I sacrificed so much to keep it going. And then when that thing happened in January ‘23, it’s like the person I had grown to love was replaced with a distant, not-quite-there ghost. Even after that night when he left you drunk and alone on the streets of that big city, you continued to get closer to him and he changed you. And I pleaded with you to stop. The sweet and gentle person I had fallen for turned into someone I didn’t recognize. A drunk and (probably) a druggie, although you hid the latter the best you could until your friends started slipping up around me. You couldn’t even go see a movie without having to “pregame.” A FUCKING movie. Your attitude changed from doing what’s best for us to doing whatever you wanted and saying that I just had to take you as you are. The sad thing is that I did. Despite all the glaring and mountainous issues with us I stayed. I loved you so unconditionally as you broke my trust again and again and again. I spent another year chasing who you were for those first 6 months. And then you left me even as you said you didn’t know what was wrong with you because you knew that I loved you more than anything and that I would’ve done ANYTHING on the planet for you. And now when I look back and cry, I don’t cry for who you became. I cry for the person I met back in ‘22 and how, for such a short time, we seemed to have it all. Those 6 months were the happiest of my life, and I’ll just wander aimlessly through life until I can capture lightning in a bottle like that again. And this time pray it doesn’t leave.

ok! If the title is confusing, that's because my last few posts about this project were literally never responded to. This is part three. I hope you read the other two parts before this! Now let's get back to the thing: it was clear KEL was mad, But concerned for SUNNY. KEL: "sunny...look, Despite everything we've been through while doing this, And everything we've been through before this, i am NOT going down there." SUNNY: "oh, so NOW You're taking this seriously as I am?" KEL: " i TRY To make light of things, And you're phrasing it like I'm treating this like some kind of joke!" SUNNY: "thats because you make everything happy go luck! this is the reallest shit we've ever seen!" KEL: "and THAT is why im so DEVASTATED you aren't scared! You're throwing your own life around like it's nothing!" SUNNY: "what does that even mean?!" KEL: "look! These things both took so much away from us! THE REASON WE STARTED THIS WAS TO LOOK FOR HER! AND YOU PLAY WILLY NILLY WITH THEM!" SUNNY: "well is your so concerned then FUCKING LEAVE THEN!" KEL: "fine... But when you come up, If you come up, Don't come looking for me because you're not going to be the same sunny I became friends with so long ago...." SUNNY leaves the car, And we audibly hear him drive away. It was now footage from SUNNYs POV, Staring at A TV. There is a shadowy figure in the TV (which Resembles MARI). SUNNY: "who are you?". The entity glitches, Showing footage from VOL 1, With a cover of the final duet playing. Although it's very quick, the name "MARI" flashes. And then finally pauses and lingers on the message "remember me?"...we are now at footage of KEL in the car. The rain is heavy and the camera is glitching. The message "They cared about him and you left him behind"...the voice of HERO Can be heard from the back seat. HERO?: "Who are you running from?" The message "who are you running from?" Is repeated like a Recording over and over and over and over... KEL: "S-SHUT UP!" "L-LEAVE ME ALONE!" The car swirls off the road.... A car alarm plays.... And slowly turns into a beeping similar to a heart monitor (note, It never flat lines) While the message "uh oh! Bad decision kel!" flashes on screen, And becomes credits.

People can call it the honeymoon phase and laugh at me. I don’t care because I know the truth. When I met you all those moons ago, you were everything I had begged and hoped and prayed for. And it wasn’t over the top, we just clicked and you understood my needs and met them so perfectly. Of course, we had our fights and disagreements, but we solved them in a way I’d never seen before. You were my everything and I sacrificed so much to keep it going. And then when that thing happened in January ‘23, it’s like the person I had grown to love was replaced with a distant, not-quite-there ghost. Even after that night when he left you drunk and alone on the streets of that big city, you continued to get closer to him and he changed you. And I pleaded with you to stop. The sweet and gentle person I had fallen for turned into someone I didn’t recognize. A drunk and (probably) a druggie, although you hid the latter the best you could until your friends started slipping up around me. You couldn’t even go see a movie without having to “pregame.” A FUCKING movie. Your attitude changed from doing what’s best for us to doing whatever you wanted and saying that I just had to take you as you are. The sad thing is that I did. Despite all the glaring and mountainous issues with us I stayed. I loved you so unconditionally as you broke my trust again and again and again. I spent another year chasing who you were for those first 6 months. And then you left me even as you said you didn’t know what was wrong with you because you knew that I loved you more than anything and that I would’ve done ANYTHING on the planet for you. And now when I look back and cry, I don’t cry for who you became. I cry for the person I met back in ‘22 and how, for such a short time, we seemed to have it all. Those 6 months were the happiest of my life, and I’ll just wander aimlessly through life until I can capture lightning in a bottle like that again. And this time pray it doesn’t leave.

So, let's start with the basics. I've been living in this place for almost 3 years now. Prior to living here I rented from the same landlord in a nearby duplex in 2014. My neighbor is a man and his wife. They've been living there together for about 6 years with the man living there for nearly 15. We've remained cordial to this point regardless of the issues that have popped up. At least, that was the case up until recently. We share a front porch that has railing around the ledge and splitting the unit down the middle at the living room.
So, the issues(these aren't listed in any particular order).
First, Over the last 2 or so years they've taken in roughly 7 stray cats. They keep the majority of these cats outside at all times. This wasnt an issue initially as I didn't mind the little fluffballs on the porch but as times gone on it has become an inconvenience. The cats will shit on my porch and walkway leading from the porch to the gravel driveway where I park. I have stepped in cat shit no less than 4 times in the past 2 months. When I moved in I had a welcome mat at the door. Well , after the cats shit on it 4 times in one week and I couldn't get the shit off it the last time so I threw it out. I bought a hose and spray nozzle just to spray cat shit off my porch and shoes. I have tried non-toxic sprays to try and coax them away from my walkway and that hasn't worked. I have spoken directly with both the man and his wife on this topic and all I receive is gaslighting. They claim it's not cat shit, it's actually chicken, raccoon, and opossum shit. Also, these cats are not healthy. They do not look healthy, the majority of cat shit I step in is diarrhea, and their fur is in such poor shape.
Second, roaches. When I first moved in there were roaches. I contacted the landlord and he had pest control out. I also placed multiple different traps at the same time and they died down a bit. The kicker here is I asked the neighbor about the roaches and his response was, and I shit you not, "oh the woman in the other duplex(between 500-1000 feet away from current duplex) was dirty and when she moved out the roaches moved over here." that was roughly 1.5 years ago and the roaches come and go now. I place new traps every few months to try and cull the population as much as possible. I just believe that the neighbors are dirty as all hell as their porch is a mess and I wouldn't doubt the inside is just as bad or worse. Oh, and to top that off, they leave their cat food open on the porch. So, roaches, raccoons(which I've seen eating from the cat plate at night), and opossums all get their fill.
Third, and trigger warning in advance, domestic violence. I'll admit going into that I am ashamed of what I'm going to state here. The man beats his wife. I have heard them fighting on so many occasions. There was one day where I had gotten off work and started to chill and unwind preparing to go to sleep on the recliner in the living room. I heard them start fighting as they normally do. Well, this particular time they brought it out onto the porch. All I heard out my window was things breaking and multiple banging noises. Then just absolute screaming. She was screaming as if she were being murdered. Then there was silence and I heard him say " if you ever talk back to me like that again I will kill you." this is where I am ashamed. I should've called the cops. I didn't. The dude owns a gun, is an alcoholic, and is definitely unhinged enough to retaliate if I were to try and help. I am afraid that there would be retaliatory violence and it is an uncomfortable feeling that I should not feel in my own home.
Fourth, my girlfriend refuses to come over to my house anymore due to the sad looking cats/cat shit, the occasional roach that she sees, and her not wanting to be at my home alone at night(I work nights) knowing how unhinged the neighbor is. She has heard him beating his wife. She is afraid because "what am I supposed to do if he gets really drunk while you're at work and tries to come into the house."
There are a couple smaller things but this is the gist of the major issues.
So, about a year ago I messaged the LL about the cats shitting everywhere. About a week or so later there was cat litter alongside my backyard fence. I wasn't seeing cat shit everywhere anymore so I let it go.
We arrive now at last week. Got home from a long night of work, kicked my shoes off, and relaxed. Woke up for work later and started to throw my shoes on just to notice that there was cat shit on them that I had already tracked through to living room.
I was pissed and messaged the landlord "Neighbors let their cats back out again and they are shitting everywhere. Theyve already ruined the mat that was in front of the door when I moved in. There are shit stains all over the porch. I don't want to call animal control cause I doubt they'll do anything but I'm getting tired of having to either clean my shoes or dodge shit everytime I get home from work."
He didn't reply, which I expected as he rarely replies.
A couple days later I get home from work to see a note left in my door. The neighbors wife was pissed. I don't have the note on me right now so I'm going to summarize.
She claimed that the cats do not shit on my side of the house. They shit near their cars "because that's where they are used to shitting" she said that all the shit I'm claiming to be cat shit is chicken, opossum, and raccoon shit. She threatened me with this line "you told the landlord the lie about the cats trying to get us evicted so why shouldn't we tell the landlord that the house smells like weed." yes, my roommate and I smoke. Yes, it's an illegal state. She then goes on to claim "the smoke comes through our oven vent and dryer vent and my clothes reek of weed." I call bullshit because not even my clothes smell like weed. This is legitimately the only complaint I've ever heard them say about my living there. Throughout the letter she claims multiple times that I'm not seeing what I think I'm seeing and I'm just trying to get them evicted.
So, this is where I stand, all I can think of is get photographic evidence of the cats shitting, but I don't really know what it's going to accomplish. The cats definitely need to be taken care of better and them shitting everywhere is not cool either. The other issues I've noted should probably be dealt with as well but domestic violence is a tricky thing to involve myself in. My Gf is mad because I haven't called the cops but I legit don't want to be shot or be evicted/arrested because I smoke weed in my home.

Apologies in advance for any spelling errors emotions are running high as I’m writing this.
For context this happened a few days ago.
I, M 24 have been in a relationship with my boyfriend who I’ll call Red (Not his real name), M 23 for around 4 years now after we met at our mutual friends house. We had hit it off after a few drinks and I ended the night with his number and 3 months later we started chatting exclusively and 6 months later we started dating. (At this point in time we hadn’t met each other’s families and he hadn’t mentioned them during the whole 9 month period.) When we first started dating Ill admit I was head over heels and wanted him to meet my family (I have a rather large family) right away and was quite pushy about them meeting although we hadn’t been dating for 5 months at that point. But he talked me out of it saying I was “Moving too fast.” I dont know if that was a red flag or not but I don’t think it was. Anyways, around 1.5-2 years ago I learned that Red had a little brother 23 M (they are twins, Red was just born first by a little over 5 hours.) which came as a shock to me because during our entire relationship Red had never mentioned his brother and was every adamant that not only did he and his family weren’t close but that he had cut them all off. I which was a major red flag for me because for starters I had only met his brother because I had a package delivered to his house and need to pick it up. I have a key to his house but I have a habit of knocking because I OCD. So imagine my shock when the door is opened by not Red but someone who looked suspiciously like him who immediately asked me who I was. When I told him I was asking for Red (MY boyfriend) he said he wasn’t home and that he was at the store and he’ll tell him that someone came to the door to ask for him. At which I told him that I was his boyfriend and that I needed to pick up a package. He looked a little suspicious but let me in regardless and we sat in the living room and talked till red came home. I was really curious about who these mystery person was and for a while thought Red was cheating on me until his brother who I’ll call Jane (Not his real name) informed me that he was reds twin brother. I was in shock because for two years Red had told me that he had not relationship with any of his family and here’s his twin brother in his house. (I’ve been to his house before and at not pint in time did he ever have any roommates or other people living in his apartment. So it was shocking and I felt really betrayed because at that point he had already met my family.) Me and Jane made more small talk till Red came home 20 something minutes later and was shocked to see both me and Jane sitting on the couch. I was gonna stay for longer after red came home but the moment I saw his face I just couldn’t and ended up leaving shortly after. I couldn’t stop thinking about how he never told me he had a brother and later that night at like 8 pm I texted him and asked him why he never told me he had a brother nonetheless a TWIN brother and why he lied about cutting off all his family. He responded 2 hours later at 10 and asked me to call him which I did and I he told me that the reason he never told me about Jane was because although he actually didn’t cut all his family off but those he did still talk too he didn’t tell other people about too which I asked why? Only to be met with him avoiding the question and trying to steer the conversation away from his family and more to about my day which was the next red flag. We got into an argument and he walked away from the phone but didn’t hang up so I did and I ended up blocking him for 2 days before he showed up at my door apologizing up and down and swearing to never keep a secret from me again which I had believed. For the next 2 years that wasn’t the last I’d seen of Jane and I learned that Red and Jane were extremely close. (Idk if it’s a twin thing but they are just really close) But at multiple points in our relationship I thought they’ve been too close if that’s even possible. For example when we had planned an anniversary trip together and went we started discussing locations he wouldn’t agree to certain places because “Jane wouldn’t be comfortable with him going there.” Or “Jane wouldn’t like that.” When I asked why it mattered what jane liked because it’s not like he was going, he said something along the lines of. “Just let it go.” Or would just ignore me till I started talking about a different place which threw off my flow for the rest of the planning. Or when he pushed back out trip for almost a month because he didn’t want to leave Jane alone. (Jane is autistic and possibly physically disabled which I swear is important but he’s not low functioning and even lives in his own with a job.) When I brought this up Red glared at me without saying anything but let it go after a while. This is only one example of their relationship coming between things we had planned but there are plenty more examples of them being physically close as well. (Cuddling togethe sitting extremely close to each other, Jane following Red around to the point something’s they walk in sync, feeding one another,hugging for extended periods of time, playing with each other’s hands/hair ext.) I swear if they didn’t look so similar you’d think they were the ones dating. I won’t lie I’ve found myself being jealous/ disgusted at the way they treat each other but I had pushed it aside because I convinced myself that Red was just looking out for Jane. (Before you question that like I said while Jane isn’t behind mentally or anything you can see he struggles with a lot things like standing for long periods of time and often goes non verbal or only makes illegible noise that Red understands.) So I truly pushed my thoughts aside because I didn’t want to be seen as an overprotective or anything and it’s not like I have anything against Jane or anything but sometimes it’s just really fucking weird. But recently I’ve reached my limit when I went to Reds apartment and when I opened the door I saw janes phone on the counter. Which is really at weird because at the end of the day theyre family and that’s not weird but what was weird was that Jane nor Red were anywhere to be found. I had walked around the apartment for a while till I got Reds bedroom and saw both of them laying in bed together (They weren’t naked or anything but they were like laying ontop on one another, like cuddling skin to skin whilst clothed from what I could see.) When I walked in a saw them next to each other all the memories of the way they had acted with eachother rushed into my head and I just assumed the worst and started screaming and cursing which got Reds attention and he immediately sat up and started screaming back at me asking me what I was scream about and we started a screaming match and I told him off about his weird behaviour with Jane and how brothers don’t act that way with each other until they are getting with eachother and he froze and just started at me and before he could say anything else I left his apartment and drove back home. (If jane had said anything I didn’t hear it over the screaming but idk) I don’t know who the tell this to or what to do because I’m well aware that siblings don’t act that way and that something has to be going on but I don’t know how to talk to Red about it and I don’t think I should bring this up to anyone close friends because of bias so I’m asking Reddit. What do I do???

I'm here because i'm not really sure I'm getting the point of omad. The first time I tried it which was in March, I went from 209.2 to 203.8 in a week which was nice to see but then I gave up and gained the weight back. My diet consisted of anything but I ate it in a span of an hour. The time I ate wasn't consistent all the time.
On my second try in April, I went from 210.0 to 207.0 in 5 days but then I got stuck in the same weight. Again, the time I ate wasn't consistent and the only thing I changed in my diet was adding sparkling water, I drank it outside my eating window.
Basically I have a problem with knowing what I should be eating in that meal alone. In both my omad journeys I always ate a meal with some snacks. So maybe I shouldn't be snacking? Is it the inconsistent eating time? I don't know.
Starting Monday, which is May 20th, I'm starting my omad journey again and I wanna do it right this time. I hope the pounds really shake off this time in time for summer. I wanna have the confidence to wear swim suits and show some skin. Basically, I'm just asking what I should be doing and eating to promote weight loss, is there anything I can do to avoid hunger?

I love jersey. Been here for 20yr (my entire life) and I gotta say we got the best of everything.
I have been doing some pondering and came to the realization we all live normal lives and periodically login to reddit just to talk about the wonderful state of jersey and a mutual hate for PA drivers (is it a psychological problem they have to go the limit in the left lane?) anyways, this is just me making a shitpost how we could be neighbors living normal lives and unite on reddit and would defend our state from outsiders shit talking is, blah blah blah Thank you for your time

I think I’ve found my calling in life – helping the alone and abandoned street dogs of Thailand.
It’s well known that there’s stray dogs all over Thailand – known as Soi Dogs. In the tourist areas such as Bangkok, Phuket, Koh Samui etc – some of these dogs get lucky and are taken care of by one of the great charities operating in these areas.
However, since moving to a more rural area of Thailand, Huai Krot, I’ve noticed the dogs here seem to have it a lot harder. There’s no charities to take care of them and no tourists looking out for them. The vast majority of the Thai general public have their own concerns and worries and don’t see that taking care of the dogs (and cats, birds etc) is important or should concern them.
Dogs here, for the most part, get treated like pests, almost the same as rats and pigeons etc. They’re hit, kicked, have rocks thrown at them, cars hit them and don’t stop. A lot of them have skin problems or more serious injuries and very people try to help them. They’re also hungry and rarely have access to clean water.
There are some good people here who try to help and feed the dogs out of their own pocket, but when you are struggling to feed yourself and your family, the help you can offer the dogs becomes quite limited.
Since the start of this year I’ve been trying to do as much as I can for the dogs in my local area. I provide as much food and water as I can and I’ve already garnered a bit of a reputation for being “that farang who helps the dogs”. I very much enjoy doing it and I love to see the difference in the timid dogs after you’ve fed them a few times.
However what I’ve been able to do is just a drop in the ocean compared to how many dogs here need some help. I’ve talked about doing something properly for quite a while now – and I think there’s no better time than now to get started helping the dogs of Huai Krot and the wider area.
I’ve also seen some dogs in pretty horrendous states including a dog that had been savaged by a pack of other dogs and had its rear left leg almost ripped off. Helping this dog was well out of my scope – but I hope in the future I will be able to help every dog that needs it.
The eventual goal would be to have a proper facility for homing and taking care of any local dogs that need it. But to get started I’m going to concentrate on feeding, watering and providing medicine and medical care for as many dogs as possible. We are trying to raise $5000 to pay for the following;
• $2000 for food and water supplies including bowls • $2000 for medicines – primarily Bravecto – for helping with Mange which is very prevalent around here. This would also include Tick and Flea medicines/collars • $600 for a Motorbike with Sidecar for transporting large amounts of food – and also for transporting dogs to the vet when needs arise • $400 – the remaining $400 would be kept in reserve for any unplanned emergencies or unexpected costs etc
I am jumping into the deep end here. I just want to help the dogs living around here as they are out of reach of most of the major charities and seem forgotten about. This is just the beginning with the end goal eventually being that we are able to open a facility to not only help dogs but home them as well. This is far down the line though and we need to start somewhere. So making sure as many dogs as possible are getting regular food and water and have access to medications to improve their quality of life would be a good place to start.
Hopefully some people feel the same and will be able to help us on this journey.
Thanks for reading
Sean Wilson Huai Krot Hounds
Donate - https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-the-dogs-of-huai-krot-and-surrounding-areas

Aussie, from the sound of it. I feel bad for anyone in your life who has to deal with your gaslighting bullshit outside the context of a video game. you're a pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth. You're a stubbed toe before a walk to work. You're a missing earbud that ran out of battery 5 seconds before it was realized missing. You're the $4 in change rattling around in the dryer 2 minutes after laying in bed. You're the pet hair caught on the back of someone's tongue. You're the last bit of speed stick falling out of the tube when you didn't get another at the store because "I still have some left." You're the bottom eyelash bent so that it hooks with the top like velcro every time you blink. You're the shoes that make the left pinky-toe fall asleep after 3 hours. The sock without a mate. The password that's "incorrect" and when you go to change it, "new password can't be the same as old password." You're the ice stuck to the bottom of the glass that hits you in the face when you turn it upwards. You're the splash-back at the dive bar urinal that gets on your pants and you have to act like they ran out of paper towels and it's just water from when you definitely washed your hands.
We were on a bug mission. I was running around kiting some enemies, and you started firing at them with a grenade launcher. Or so I thought. You hit me, and I typed, "well...you tried."
You responded on the mic, laughing, "Tried?! haha yes, I was TRYING to kill YOU!...Silly"
I let it slide...maybe I misheard you. Maybe it was just a one-time goof. A gaff. A prank bro, if you will.
Then we get to the objective, and you start mag-dumping teammate 3 while he was using the terminal at the objective. "Oh. This guy is a size 48 clown-shoe masquerading as a human," I thought. While I reloaded, you killed Teammate 3, so I popped you in the face. To my surprise, you groaned about it as if you didn't literally beg me to put you down by acting like someone with a toilet where their brain should be.
Then we were extracting, you and teammate 3 were away from exfil, me and teammate 4, who wasn't privy to your juvenile bullshit, were waiting. Now, I'm already watching the map. Because I know exactly what's about to happen. You turn toward teammate 3, and he dies. He exclaims in the chat about the TK.
Bet. Against my usual behavior but feeling warranted in this case, the way a farmer might feel about putting down a cow that keeps trying to chew off the other cows' hooves for no reason, I thought, "well if he thinks killing teammates is fun, he's gonna LOVE this!" and force-fed you an eruptor round as soon as you peaked your narrow head over the berm.
And how did you respond? "WHOAAA!! Bro! What the hell man?? You killed us!" to which teammate 4 admirably responded by killing me in return. Not his fault, he didn't know what was going on.
It's the audacity for me. You spend the entire match TKing us on purpose, not even denying it, not in a way that was funny or clever or reciprocated, presumably due to the fact that we were down to 3 reinforcements, and yours, the smoothest of brains I've encountered in months, SOMEHOW managed to generate the synaptic activity to play victim when someone does it right back to you? Get fucked, ******_****.
And just in case, I have this whole thing recorded. I was already recording, so I have it from before you even joined the game. Why I didn't report you, I'm not sure.

I think I’ve found my calling in life – helping the alone and abandoned street dogs of Thailand.
It’s well known that there’s stray dogs all over Thailand – known as Soi Dogs. In the tourist areas such as Bangkok, Phuket, Koh Samui etc – some of these dogs get lucky and are taken care of by one of the great charities operating in these areas.
However, since moving to a more rural area of Thailand, Huai Krot, I’ve noticed the dogs here seem to have it a lot harder. There’s no charities to take care of them and no tourists looking out for them. The vast majority of the Thai general public have their own concerns and worries and don’t see that taking care of the dogs (and cats, birds etc) is important or should concern them.
Dogs here, for the most part, get treated like pests, almost the same as rats and pigeons etc. They’re hit, kicked, have rocks thrown at them, cars hit them and don’t stop. A lot of them have skin problems or more serious injuries and very people try to help them. They’re also hungry and rarely have access to clean water.
There are some good people here who try to help and feed the dogs out of their own pocket, but when you are struggling to feed yourself and your family, the help you can offer the dogs becomes quite limited.
Since the start of this year I’ve been trying to do as much as I can for the dogs in my local area. I provide as much food and water as I can and I’ve already garnered a bit of a reputation for being “that farang who helps the dogs”. I very much enjoy doing it and I love to see the difference in the timid dogs after you’ve fed them a few times.
However what I’ve been able to do is just a drop in the ocean compared to how many dogs here need some help. I’ve talked about doing something properly for quite a while now – and I think there’s no better time than now to get started helping the dogs of Huai Krot and the wider area.
I’ve also seen some dogs in pretty horrendous states including a dog that had been savaged by a pack of other dogs and had its rear left leg almost ripped off. Helping this dog was well out of my scope – but I hope in the future I will be able to help every dog that needs it.
The eventual goal would be to have a proper facility for homing and taking care of any local dogs that need it. But to get started I’m going to concentrate on feeding, watering and providing medicine and medical care for as many dogs as possible. We are trying to raise $5000 to pay for the following;
• $2000 for food and water supplies including bowls • $2000 for medicines – primarily Bravecto – for helping with Mange which is very prevalent around here. This would also include Tick and Flea medicines/collars • $600 for a Motorbike with Sidecar for transporting large amounts of food – and also for transporting dogs to the vet when needs arise • $400 – the remaining $400 would be kept in reserve for any unplanned emergencies or unexpected costs etc
I am jumping into the deep end here. I just want to help the dogs living around here as they are out of reach of most of the major charities and seem forgotten about. This is just the beginning with the end goal eventually being that we are able to open a facility to not only help dogs but home them as well. This is far down the line though and we need to start somewhere. So making sure as many dogs as possible are getting regular food and water and have access to medications to improve their quality of life would be a good place to start.
Hopefully some people feel the same and will be able to help us on this journey.
Thanks for reading
Sean Wilson Huai Krot Hounds
Donate - https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-the-dogs-of-huai-krot-and-surrounding-areas

I think I’ve found my calling in life – helping the alone and abandoned street dogs of Thailand.
It’s well known that there’s stray dogs all over Thailand – known as Soi Dogs. In the tourist areas such as Bangkok, Phuket, Koh Samui etc – some of these dogs get lucky and are taken care of by one of the great charities operating in these areas.
However, since moving to a more rural area of Thailand, Huai Krot, I’ve noticed the dogs here seem to have it a lot harder. There’s no charities to take care of them and no tourists looking out for them. The vast majority of the Thai general public have their own concerns and worries and don’t see that taking care of the dogs (and cats, birds etc) is important or should concern them.
Dogs here, for the most part, get treated like pests, almost the same as rats and pigeons etc. They’re hit, kicked, have rocks thrown at them, cars hit them and don’t stop. A lot of them have skin problems or more serious injuries and very people try to help them. They’re also hungry and rarely have access to clean water.
There are some good people here who try to help and feed the dogs out of their own pocket, but when you are struggling to feed yourself and your family, the help you can offer the dogs becomes quite limited.
Since the start of this year I’ve been trying to do as much as I can for the dogs in my local area. I provide as much food and water as I can and I’ve already garnered a bit of a reputation for being “that farang who helps the dogs”. I very much enjoy doing it and I love to see the difference in the timid dogs after you’ve fed them a few times.
However what I’ve been able to do is just a drop in the ocean compared to how many dogs here need some help. I’ve talked about doing something properly for quite a while now – and I think there’s no better time than now to get started helping the dogs of Huai Krot and the wider area.
I’ve also seen some dogs in pretty horrendous states including a dog that had been savaged by a pack of other dogs and had its rear left leg almost ripped off. Helping this dog was well out of my scope – but I hope in the future I will be able to help every dog that needs it.
The eventual goal would be to have a proper facility for homing and taking care of any local dogs that need it. But to get started I’m going to concentrate on feeding, watering and providing medicine and medical care for as many dogs as possible. We are trying to raise $5000 to pay for the following;
• $2000 for food and water supplies including bowls • $2000 for medicines – primarily Bravecto – for helping with Mange which is very prevalent around here. This would also include Tick and Flea medicines/collars • $600 for a Motorbike with Sidecar for transporting large amounts of food – and also for transporting dogs to the vet when needs arise • $400 – the remaining $400 would be kept in reserve for any unplanned emergencies or unexpected costs etc
I am jumping into the deep end here. I just want to help the dogs living around here as they are out of reach of most of the major charities and seem forgotten about. This is just the beginning with the end goal eventually being that we are able to open a facility to not only help dogs but home them as well. This is far down the line though and we need to start somewhere. So making sure as many dogs as possible are getting regular food and water and have access to medications to improve their quality of life would be a good place to start.
Hopefully some people feel the same and will be able to help us on this journey.
Thanks for reading
Sean Wilson Huai Krot Hounds
Donate - https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-the-dogs-of-huai-krot-and-surrounding-areas

All dat posting n image chasing y'all getting what y'all want now y'all got troll watching our every move physically n digitally my two cents is that RICO or sweep or both gotta be incoming soon dey already booking niggas like a library left & right cus of dat internet shit even 1090Jake fatass got Broward n Dade on YouTube & undercover been hot everywhere ik dis cus I be outside n I got homies up da road not claiming to be da biggest stepper or none but ik what I see wit my own eyes n hear wit my own ears... I been saying fa da longest chill wit all dat extra shit n now y'all learning why

We have been dating for about a year and together for three months. During time we get sexual he started off introducing to me his kink I personally didn't like it and my feelings still remain the same. He likes to slap my face spit on me and has often times described to me his fantasy of r someone even making me sit in a tub and pee on me to make me feel like trash basically. He has forced anal and oral He's used words like slt bich etc.. I know there are fetishes out there but I never felt comfortable with these sorts of things. He tries to convince me these were my ideas but I truly just want normal intimacy. I've expressed it and often felt him bored. I love him and am quite insecure and afraid to leave. Recently he had a woman move in and was there for 2 weeks where I didn't get to visit and he would come see me. He swares up and down it was just a friend who needed a place to stay. But during a brief period I needed a place and he didn't offer. Not to mention he helped her move. I moved all alone had to sleep on mt moms couch while im his gf. I have found myself drinking and crying in depression as i cant see why he wont just dump me Today was the worst for us and proved to me he doesn't care about me.. my car died leaving his house (i left because i gound a dildo that wasnt mine at his house) and when i valled him ouy he claimed it was old. and when I called him he didn't pick up I was about 5 min drive from him on a freeway exit and couldn't get a tow to help me due to it being electric and completely dead I had to wait until 7 am (this happened around 3 am) because they needed a tow with a special tool. I left my car on the side of the freeway I didn't wanna stay in there until 7. I have heard terrible stories of being stuff on an off ramp. I attempted to call him and no answer. I had to end up walking 1hr towards him with a friend on the phone because I was afraid of the area. Eventually I got tired of walking and hitched a ride(against my better jusgement) but I was afraid and it was so much faster in car. The guy offered me beer and cigarette for the stress but I didn't feel right so I refused the extra offers. I get to his house and he is staring blankly awoken from sleep. I explain the situation and lay on my side avoiding him. I just needed to rest until it was time to reattempt to get the tow truck. I was so tired I just slept with him until he awoke somewhat he then had me reexplain what happened because he was so tired he didn't comprehend what happened that night. I still was bummed he wasn't there for me and feel like this is an ongoing pattern of ignoring my calls. The point is if this is my partner he should have been there for me. In the morning when we awoke around 1030 I began chatting with aaa dispatch preparing to get my vehicle. They didn't understand why I wasnt at it and why there was no key that would work. I explained my phone is the key and the car is dead and my phone would have died as well and at a offramp... after going back and forth and finally getting them to understand the situation they agreed to come get me I waited until the time they agreed to get me and no call. I called dispatch again and they said I needed to be their this time my boyfriend got up angrily and said he would take me to it... I was trying to avoid him taking me. He screamed at me the whole way saying how do I not know where my car was but I knew the whole time and was explaining it's off a specific freeway on a specific exit... he couldn't figure how to.get to it and I was frantically trying to type it into his GPS. He told me how stupid I was for not putting in an address... but it's not an adress he was ready to drop me off and make me walk until we finally spotted the tow truck. He messaged me in apology on text but I feel like all the signs are clear I'm just already to leave

/ Hayes’ pov /
When Solene’s large sable orbs locked on mine, time stopped, the past five years of pain fell away. Her supple rosy lips upturned and slightly parted- the same way they had before. The same lips I fell in love with. She was beautiful, the same stand out features and subtle curves.
It felt as if gravity was pulling me closer, each step unconscious. With our toes nearly touching, every nerve ending in my body urged me to touch her, to tuck a stray strand of hair away.
“Hi.” Her voice velvety and deep, slightly hoarse.
Unsure of what to say I began to speak, “H- wh- how are you?” The future of whatever could be depended on the next few moments, and I didn’t even know where to begin.
Solene felt the same way, it was evident in her tone, “I’m well, not much has changed, I’m slightly older…” she let out a weak laugh “and Izzy is a sophomore in college. He-“.
“That’s gre-“ I began. “Sorry you go ahead.” I could feel my cheeks pinken.
“I was just going to ask if you’d like to sit and chat, I have time before my client arrives and it would be nice to talk.” Her tone was unreadable, I’d hoped she’d wanted me to say yes.
With a nod of my head, she turned on her heels; her now chin length hair fanning out slightly.
————————————————————————————— Once we reach the offices, Tracy peeks her head out of her office and smirks “Ah hello Adonis.” The comment although to me is more geared toward Solene.
“Tracy, don’t you have some art to purchase or someone else’s awkward moment to make worse.” Solene rolls her eyes, the same mischievous sparkle apparent.
With a small smile, I duck into Solene’s office. Taking in the familiar-small- space, I smile, not much has changed. Photographs of Izzy through out the years, multiple paintings from artists all over the world, and even a few of us during the time we spent together on August Moon’s tour adorn her walls.
Leaving the door open slightly Solene sits on the small love seat she added to the room, its vintage, it suits her.
Taking a seat next to her I smile. She seems to be taking me in, inspecting closely how age and life have affected me. “How are you? I saw you on Jimmy Kimmel last week, are you enjoying the solo route?”.
“It’s been a journey of loss and gain. I didn’t know that with love comes pain, until that day five years ago. The music I’ve been writing is not just about infatuation but yearning for what was.” I realize I may be rambling and pause.
“It’s nice to see you passionate about music again, the same way it was when it was just you and your guitar.” Solene’s hand touches mine tenderly, “tell me more about it?”.
“Well, when we went our separate ways I began to see the road ahead was going to be the same as before if I let it. I could keep on as the British boy who messes about and lets everyone around him make decisions for him; or I could be who I am today. I’m finally involved in the process of my music from start to fi-“ a knock on the door brings me to a stop.
“Solene, Ms. Raphel is here. I know she’s a half an hour early, would you like me to tell her you’re in meeting?” Tracy looks pained as if she’s interrupted a super secret meeting- which she has, but it’s not the end of the world.
Solene’s eyes bounce between mine and Tracy’s “Fucking artists. They’re never on time, it’s always absurdly early or laughably late.”
Deciding for the both of us I stand up, “This is important Sol, I’ll be here as long as it takes. As long as your number is still the same, I would be more than happy to schedule something.” Tracy shuts the door slowly and leaves us alone again.
“Hayes, are you sure? I can tell her I’m in a meeting, I can’t expect you to move your busy schedule around because of my client’s inability to tell time.” Solene stands and begins shuffling papers on her desk, no matter what she says I know I’ll go to the ends of the earth for her.
Standing behind her I place my hand on her shoulder “I’ll be available whenever you are. Good luck with the new client.” I walk to the door before turning back “Oh and Solene, you’re still hot or whatever.” With those parting words I open the door leaving her blinking in shock. ————————————————————————————— As I sit on the sofa of my new flat, I’m like a teen boy again. Do I dare flirt with the girl? Keep it simple? I begin typing something only to delete it until I hit send on impulse.
-Hayes- I was wondering if you’d like to get some really fucking good sandwiches sometime? ————————————————————————————— • It’s been two hours since I left the gallery, fifteen since I sent the text, and five minutes since Solene has read it. Patience and tranquility are two things I am fresh out of when it comes to waiting.
-Hayes- I know you’ve read it Sol, it’ll be just lunch.
This time she replies immediately
-Solene- I don’t know Hayes… it was always just lunch.
-Hayes- I’ll behave, or try to. Pls?
Knowing she won’t be able to say no, I prematurely do a little dance.
-Solene- I’ll think about it, maybe.
-Hayes- Go easy on my poor heart Sol. One sandwich. Not even drinks. Just bread. Yes?
At this point I may as well be on my knees, she still knows how to make me work for it. Leaving well enough alone I decide to go for a run. The waterside park in Santa Barbara has become my refuge-aside from my music- the waves and fresh, cool air keep me grounded.
————————————————————————————— After running for an hour I look at my messages to see a simple victory but a victory nonetheless.
-Solene- Fine you win. Lunch. I could go for a good sandwich.
(To be continued)

Having watched the live stream and reviewed the news on the release of Into the Abyss, I've been left wondering what, if anything, the Abyss is going to do for the rest of the Melvor content.
What I mean is: ToTH obviously built on the base game and added a literal expansion of higher levels and stronger equipment. AoD added new skills with great passive buffs and some universally useful items. All of this is useful in the base game and other expansion.
But ItA seems extremely focused on being self-contained. The new skills are for the abyss. The new things to do within the existing skills are for the abyss. The new skill levels are abyss skill levels with abyss xp. You can't use regular damage in the abyss, and you can't use the new abyssal damage outside of it. During the livestream Malcs joked that we'd get sick of hearing the word "abyss" and it makes sense given how self-contained the expansion appears to be.
The question I'm getting at is - is progressing through and completing this expansion going to add any value to my character as a whole, or is this going to be more of a side-quest which is segregated from the "main game"?
The one feature that seems like it might branch into the rest of Melvor is the buffs from the new skill trees, but it's not obvious from what I've seen whether the buffs will actually benefit you outside of the Abyss. Potentially pets gained in the abyss will benefit you outside of it as well, but that's also speculation at this point.
I guess it would just make me happy to know that the abyss has some level of crossover with the remainder of the Melvor content and isn't completely self-contained. I understand the reasons given for designing it this way from a balancing perspective, but I would still want characters who progress through the abyss to come out of it with some level of value they can bring to the remaining Melvor content.

So I (nb16) have been dating my boyfriend (15m) for a while now. The both of us have struggled with people pleasing tendencies and being in codependent relationships. We also both have bad home lives and have very little/no friends outside of each other (I flat out have no one, I think he has a few friend groups). The thing is that not only do we tend to spend an unholy amount of time together (5-16 hours a day everyday) but there's also a 5 hour time difference as he lives in the UK.
I recognize that it isn't healthy for our relationship nor is it good for his health. I want him to sleep more but at the same time it makes both of us upset when either of us goes to sleep earlier than we typically do. Both of us have flat out had panic attacks and cried due to not spending time together, typically due to one of us sleeping.
The thing is that neither of us really wants to change this habit. We both enjoy spending this much time together and I haven't seen it have a direct impact on our relationship other than it makes the both of us feel safer in one another's presence. Although it does make things like chores and work harder to get done because all I want to do is spend time with my boyfriend. The only times we ever spend apart is when it's out of our control (school, forced outings, etc.) or when I want some time to myself. He has never once asked to have alone time.
How should I change this? Should I change this? I should also mention that we're both autistic and we have become an integral part of each other's routine so that might make things harder. I've also tried talking to him about possibly spending less time together but honestly I don't think I will unless I know for a fact it's hurting our relationship.

I know I'm not perfect. I know I fucked up during this situation too, but I feel like my husband is constantly using DARVO against me.
This morning was not the smoothest wake up so he was already a bit frustrated. We decided to head to a cafe to pick up breakfast before heading to the dog park. He promptly hit his shoulder on the car door which made him even more frustrated. At this point I've told him to take a breath and slow down if he needs to at least 3-4 times but he keeps insisting he's fine. I get uncomfortable around people who are upset, so I was a bit quieter.
We get to the cafe and parks. I unbuckled my seatbelt at the same time he did and he snaps at me demanding to know if he's getting it or am I? At this point my discomfort has morphed into irritation. I snap about his attitude and he immediately asks me what the hell is wrong with me? I tell him he's had an attitude since before we left the house. He responds with he just hit his shoulder and why do I always think that he's upset with me when he is frustrated (which I never once said). I said "I'm sorry for losing my composure" and tried to explain why I was feeling the way I was feeling.
I responded that while I had gotten frustrated at the pups earlier, I had only been frustrated at them and didn't take it out on him but he was taking out his frustrations on me. It starts escalating to where we both are raising our voices and he does something he's never done before - he gets out of the car and says he's going to walk home (about 1/2 a mile so nothing crazy but still).
This brought up a memory of when I was 9 and my dad did the same thing. He walked out of the car and left me, my brother, and my mom to drive home without him. Coupled with me telling him numerous times in the past that when he just walks away, it makes things 10x worse in my head, that I'd appreciate it if he tells me he needs to cool down so I don't just assume the worst. So I panicked and shouted that if he left, then we were done.
He returned to the car pretty pissed at me for saying it. I reminded him of what I'd gone through and how that had made me feel. His response was "well your dad isn't the only one who would walk away from your mom" (which, while true because my mom is a whole 'nother problem on her own, hurt). I wrote out my feelings after we got home but he never read the text I sent. In it, I had apologized for my own wrongs during the fight and had told him how I had felt using an analogy of my being soda and his anger being like shaking the carbonation in said soda. How his walking out like that had felt like someone smashed my soda bottle on the floor and then got mad at me for making a mess. He did eventually apologize and I figured we were fine.
We split up for the afternoon and then this evening, I went upstairs to read for a while. I had no idea it had gotten late and that he'd been cleaning the kitchen. He came upstairs and was pretty aggressive with his tone when he mentioned I hadn't helped with the kitchen. For me this had come out of nowhere so I snapped that he should ask for help next time if he needs it.
I realized I messed up so I went, washed my face to calm down, and came back. I said "I don't want to start a fight. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I really didn't like how you talked to me and I'd appreciate you ask me if you need help." His response was that he hadn't gotten an apology from that morning from me. I asked him what that had to do with anything and if that was an excuse to talk like that to me. I also told him we could discuss that after we finished the conversation I had brought up. My goals in the conversation were to establish a better routine for us before bed to help each other more. I'm forgetful and so is he, so I figured it might be a good idea.
Nope. He had no response to my question and instead doubled down that he was still upset from that morning. That I don't help clean in the kitchen enough and he shouldn't have to ask. I do the floors. I load our dishwasher. I do the laundry. I help bring in the trash cans when he asks. I often ask him if he wants my help when cooking or will sometimes just hop in and do something like prep work for him. On the rare occasion, I'll cook myself. I'm not very confident with it and I know I should do it more often, especially since I work from home, but I just don't get hungry as regularly as most people do. Food doesn't always cross my mind. If I do get hungry and don't eat within a certain time frame, I just... stop being hungry and forget about it. I went through chemo and I've just been like that ever since. He knows this.
It wound up snowballing into a huge fight where he gave a half-assed apology about how he'd spoken to me and agreed to ask me for help. This came after I'd already gotten upset over half an hour of bickering. I've told him time and again that he can't expect me to just calm down immediately. My emotions aren't like flipping a switch. I don't get over things as quickly as he seemingly does - he can go from really upset to calm pretty quickly if he's left alone for a bit for the most part.
Again, I know I messed up during this a ton. I know I explode a bit too quickly because my fuse isn't as long as I would like it to be. I've gotten on antidepressants and have come a long way, I think, from who I used to be when I'd get angry. I've asked him to see a doctor because I think he has rejection sensitivity disorder and/or bipolar but he never has. I'm trying to identify where and when I screw up so I can improve myself but I can't see this objectively. Help?

Please Read My Last post before you dive into this one...

Because boy oh boy have things changed BIG TIME.
In the last almost 2 months since I dropped that post, there's been some new people who were hired, and another round of good old combo clerk training. I like usual was not even asked to be part of it. I would have said "No Thank You That Sounds God Awful", but it was another "candidate" who really got my Blood Absolutely Boiling.
We have this newcomer to the company who I will call Guy 1 from here on out.
Guy 1 could not be lazier. The dude on several occasions, just walked out of the store, out to his car, got in turned on the AC and spent 30ish-40 minutes out there. Which wouldn't be so bad if he didnt do it EVERY SINGLE HOUR HE WAS ON THE CLOCK!!!!! We would call his name on the intercom for almost the entire time with no answer. and his lunch breaks were almost an hour to an hour and a half when the rest of the galaxy only takes a half for lunch and then gets their butts back on the clock.
Long story short he's now a combo clerk... let that sink in really quick.
The other day I was helping get carts with this guy because it was his hour, and he was inside until about 40 minutes past the hour. I had done his sweep, then I saw that both sides were getting low on carts. So I let management know that I would be outside getting more carts because it was his hour, and he was in the check stand covering a lunch or something. I went out there grabbed 2 sets of 7 carts, and pushed them in, then Guy comes out vest on but no Ratchet Strap and then proceeds to grab 20 carts and push them into the stall. I told him that he cannot bring 20 carts in and that he needs to go inside and grab a ratchet strap and pull in 7 max because if someone from union or a VP comes in for a little visit, the store gets dinged and our SM would have both our heads for screwing with her records or whatever.
Guy proceeds to yell at me because its fine and SM has seen me do it before and that I do things my own way and that I cannot yell at him. Guy then does another set of 20 before going off to lunch someplace outside of the store parking lot. Leaving me, with left extreme side of the cart corral done and right extreme side of the cart corral done but no carts in the middle.
Later that day he pulls me aside and apologizes for yelling at me, because "I don't like it when people raise their voices at me" when I only did it to get his attention because he was going from a parking lot that might as well be its own rumble strip while going over a rumble strip with 20 carts. He then claimed that his maximum was 56 carts pushed in in one go.
Even the other cashiers saw that I should have been at least asked and were asking management like "what the hell why not me?" and all they said in return was a shrug followed with, "yeah he was an awful choice wasn't he?"
Anyway to answer questions from the last post... apparently there is no such thing as a "voluntary demotion" I asked SM about that and she herself had no Idea what that was. it's just good old-fashioned favoritism, I guess. I asked my manager why I can't go into being on the pickup team and she said that "I spoke with "manager" over there and they said, "my technical skills were lacking."" which I will admit makes sense when I can count the number of orders I've done on my own in the low single digits and I've never done a single carry out.
More than likely, I will be going to the union this week and I'll be showing them both of these posts.

Throwaway because some of the people in this story know my real reddit.
I (25M) am married. My wife (28F) and I are separated, and will probably, eventually, divorce. She lives in the Midwest, I live in New York. She's close (geographically) to her parents, I'm an immigrant and all the people I love live so far away they may as well be on the moon. My likely soon-to-be ex-wife and I have a decently good relationship - there wasn't any big fighting before the split. She just didn't like me anymore. According to herself, she still cares a lot about me and wants to see me do well and be happy. She wants us to remain friends, but plainly I don't fucking want to. It makes me violently sick to my stomach to imagine myself bearing witness to the woman I loved getting together with some other dude, no matter how much she says she "doesn't think about it in terms of betteworse, just 'right' for her". This is important context.
I have a good career making alright money (enough to live on, at least - not many luxuries) in probably the most prestigious institution of its kind in the US. I graduated from a meh university in a field I never intended to work in. I'm not anything special at my job, just an office drone that occasionally plans events for my section of the company, but it's a hell of a thing to put on a resume. I don't have many friends here in NY outside of my cubicle buddy - lots of acquaintances that I make at the bar every time I go, because people love me when I'm wasted and funny, but nobody that stuck around after I stopped drinking for fitness reasons. I live in a tiny bedroom in an apartment shared with 4 people. I don't go out to save money. I occasionally engage with my hobby, which is scale models of military stuff, but lately I've had little will to do so. I spend close to 1/4 of my salary on a personal trainer, because I can't get the idea out of my head that my ex dumped me for not being hot enough, and I spend two hours every morning before work and three hours on Saturday at the gym, which is basically my main hobby right now. All this is to say, I'm a vain boring guy with no friends stuck in a shitty office job.
I wasn't like this when I was younger. I went to every party back in my hometown. Every time I visited on Spring Break or Summer people would fall over themselves to invite me to parties, when I left for college at 18 something like 200 people got together to burn an effigy of me as a big joke farewell. I was somebody. Every time I used to talk about this to my STB ex, she would get this look on her face like I was telling her I used to do heroin and crack. She's very proper, very ladylike, very respectable. I used to do keg-stands and break into abandoned water parks to smoke weed and graffiti the walls. I also come from a respectable family, so I had triple pressure between my parents and my sister and her to become an upstanding member of society. So now I don't do any of the shit that used to make me happy, and I'm no longer with the person who used to make me happy. It's not even like I can go back to doing that, either - my alcohol tolerance plummeted, I get bad hangovers since I turned 23, and I just don't really *feel* like it anymore.
My best friend back home and I were military otaku. We were always going off about how we'd join the French Foreign Legion together, or the Spanish Legion, or whatever mercenary army would take us. Back then I was out of shape so it was a pie in the sky dream, literally teenage bullshit. My best friend recently lost his long term girlfriend to leukemia, and he called me to tell me he's going to go enlist in the Spanish Legion. I knew he was telling me because he wants me to go with him. The way I am now I could absolutely crush the physical portion of enlistment and being that I have no criminal record and a college degree, the other requirements are taken care of. Absolute worst case scenario, this being the military, I get shot or blown up and die or end up disabled. Best case scenario, I survive the tour and get to live in Spain, with a nice climate, people of a familiar and less friendless culture, and lots of cultural things I like to do. Compared to here, even if I have no friends over there, I could at least go watch my favorite football team play on a regular basis.
Every time I've told my family that I want to go back home, they freak out, because they think I have the perfect life, making shitloads of money working in a super-prestigious office, helping the needy, in the "world capital", so I know that if they found out that I ditched all of that to go march around in tight green pants for a flag that isn't even mine they'd likely disown me. My stb ex-wife also would probably freak out. They all think I have such a great life, that this was all a great opportunity and that I'm living the dream, and yet I'm miserable and lonely and literally purposeless. I just wake up every Monday and go put in a shift at a place I couldn't give less of a shit about and go home to do nothing except play FIFA and chat with my guys on Discord. If I just fucking die over there, I don't have to see my ex build her life without me. I thought Midwest-New York would be enough miles. It isn't. If I leave, I would just get rid of all my devices and tell my friends back home to tell my sister, who would probably filter it to everyone. I want to just disappear and be unreachable so I don't have to hear about their happy lives ever again.
Would I be the asshole if I ditch this supposedly perfect life to follow my friend into the military of a country that isn't ours in a completely different continent? Would I be the asshole for rejecting the "opportunity" to live the way I live?

In an hour, I will be 235 days sober. I dont’t Reddit a lot, and never make posts, but I felt like sharing this so maybe someone on the fence out there will decide to stop drinking before they end up like me. Everyone knows the consequences of drinking, but seldom ever do I see anyone talk about what living like that is, what the first year of recovery feels like, etc.
I am an alcoholic, and I can never drink again. My body does something with alcohol that no “normal” person’s does. I got hit with a genetic double whammy from two alcoholic grandfathers plus high risk of substance abuse from autism. Coupled with working in a professional industry where consuming alcohol is almost mandatory, ignorance, and a shitty upbring, I never really had a chance.
I never really got into any trouble for drinking. I didn’t start fights, I didn’t get arrested for a DUI/DWI, I didn’t have wrecks, and I didn’t miss work. I had a high-paying albeit incredibly harrowing job and a fiance, but I was losing my health and my mind. Lots of unresolved mental issues and an extremely high stress environment meant that over a period of 2-3 years, my drinking spiraled out of control and I denied it the entire time. I tried to quit drinking, I couldn’t. I forced myself to dry out for 11 days regardless, and it was pure hell. Sweating, shaking, vomiting blood, psychosis, hallucinations, nausea, headache, diarrhea, extreme paranoia, brain fog, and fear. Pure terror, honestly. On the 12th day I drank, and I drank for another 3 months before I checked myself into rehab after losing everything.
My fiance left in a brutally cruel fashion along with her family, she took my dog, she stole cash, she had put me into some debt, etc. I had allowed my psychotic father back into my life previously and he picked this moment of desperation and abject hoplessness in my life to go full narcissist and ruin what little sanity I had left. I ended up drinking myself into psychosis, almost dying, almost committing suicide, and disappearing off the face of the planet before going to rehab. I didn’t want to live anymore; rehab was nightmarish. I made the best of it, but it was soul crushing in every way imaginable.
I joined AA as soon as rehab was over, declared bankruptcy, and am now trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I honestly should not be alive right now, and I honestly still don’t want to be.
Drinking and what I went through because of it and other people has fundamentally changed me as a human being. I am a shell of myself. I deal with constant suicidal thoughts despite psychiatry (and a brain scan, blood test, X-ray, etc. no tumor), I have panic attacks for no reason, moments of intense terror for absolutely no reason, bouts of nihilistically staring at the wall for hours on end, no interest in anything, no desire to eat, inability to sleep, no social life outside of AA, and an outlook on life that is so fundamentally negative that I would not wish this on my worst enemy or any other human being no matter how heinous they are.
No one deserves to live this way, and this is the price I must pay for the last 5 years of my alcoholism. I force myself to work, I force myself to go to the gym, and I force myself to get out of bed and go to AA. Everything I do is a struggle with no meaning, motivation, or joy behind it. I am an automation, a wind-up toy soldier, and nothing more. My insides have been hollowed out, I can’t imagine 30 more years of this, and I can’t imagine ever fully recovering from this either.
Please, if you are on the fence, stop drinking. Don’t become me. It is pure hell, and I’m one of the lucky ones that didn’t end up homeless or in prison or dead. Living like this every single day is almost as much of a nightmare as drinking every single day was. Don’t do this to yourself.
Stop before it’s too late.