Phenies and ferbs mom nude

First lets call my ex y , so basically me and y meet in the college i was helping him with hw and we got along with eachother and i introduced him to my mom and so on.. then one day he came and said I'll wait 4 u at 6pm and i said okay but i didn't make it at 6pm and ignored him the whole day cuz i was helping dad with some stuff (btw i sent him a message telling him couldn't make it) so after that day he came to me saying he wants to break up cuz i didn't care about him and he's the one who always call and like he wanted more care from me but anyway i broke up with him.. In the day i was ignoring him i was hanging with friends in the morning and i meet someone (let's call him s) that s the first time i texted him was in the day when me and y meet so i kept texting s during my relationship with y (btw i was texting him as a friend) So the ignoring day morning me and s meet for the second time ( ill explain how the first was if ur interested to know) we laughed alot and had sooo muchh funn in that day i felt sth different like omg he's the one i want him so the day after me and y broke up guess watt 😭 s confessed his feelings to me and i was like in a fckd up place so i said yes i luv u too s .. Since that day me and s are together but i made a mistake In some day i was so angry from my bf (s) so i wanted him to notice my exist, i found someone on insta and started to text him jus to make my bf jealous even tho he didn't know so i txted the insta guy we talked for 4h straight on a phone call and 1h the next day and thats it.. i blocked him after, but the problem that we actually had a very dirty conversation and he sent me his nudes and i sent him a pic of me with no nudes so my bf and the insta guy meet and he told me that he knows about everything and the nudes and when he asked me abt him i said idk why i did that ..i jus didn't want him to know that i did it cuz i was angry from him and all that was to punish myself and to calm my feelings and now he thinks im cheating on him + the insta guy and my bf and my ex from the same uni💀 i need help guys i want my bf back..

I (18F) have always known my dad (53M) wasn’t the most healthy person in the world. For some context on my family and to make sure it’s a whole picture i’m basically going to trauma dump, so TW for sexual assault i guess? When i was two he and my mom(48F) got a divorce because he was using drugs and alcohol to cope with some of his past traumas, while never putting in any work to get past them. After the divorce he ended up being put in prison after receiving multiple DUI’s (im not entirely sure how it happened exactly, i was two or three when he was locked up) and it got him locked up till I was six. My mom, despite having every reason to speak badly of my father, never said anything negative about him. She would take me to visit him, let me read the letters he sent me (when i actually could read, and she would write my replies down for me), and always let me talk to him when he called. We lived with my grandparents while he was locked up. After he got out he spent a long time working to get past his unhealthy coping mechanisms. He lives with his parents for two years and i would visit often. When i was eight he finally had a stable enough job to have both me and my mother move back in with him. I was young, and stupid, and when they asked me if i was okay with it I said yes. We moved into a single wide mobile home in my dad’s home town. My entire life was uprooted and replanted. I began classes in my new school and was bullied for most of my time there. I was told to “suck it up, bullies aren’t that bad.” even though in middle school i was pushed down a very steep flight of stairs and almost broke my arm. My grades began slipping and i went from a gifted child to a burn out really quick. My dad would yell at me and my mom for my grades, then get mad when i couldn’t understand how explained something to me. By thirteen i was suicidal and it was “an attempt to get attention” according to my dad. He had begun to pick fights with my mom over the littlest things. The house wasn’t clean enough, she didn’t make dinner fast enough, my room was a mess. (it was the size of a medium sized walk in closet.) And then my older (half) brother moved in with us. He (32M, let’s call him Michael) had never had a stable life and my dad coddled him because he felt like he had failed him. He had, but Michael was always a screwed up dude, so it only added into it. Anyways, over the course of the next three years my older brother would come to sexually assault me about five times over the next three years. We ended up moving into a larger house when i was about fifteen and i ended up going into counseling and learning that i had been groomed and conditioned to be basically unaware of the trauma inflicted on my by my brother since i was a kid. My dad, when i was seven and my brother a teenager, would turn a blind eye to Michael basically bashing my head into the island counter whenever he would steal something like food from me. My grandparents would always intervene and he would call me a whiner. At night he would tell me all sorts of things and make it seem like he was my only friend in the world. He kept doing it my entire life. My father, who had stopped drinking, had begun again because my grandfather was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer and has been fighting for him life since, it’s been about eight years i think since they had to pull him out of remission because the cancer came back. This is when he really became a nightmare. Depending on what type of alchohol he drinks his mood goes a few ways. Whiskey and he gets angry. Tequila and he gets all sappy and lovey dovey(this makes me very uncomfortable because he hasn’t ever been very openly affectionate), beer and he’s just a happy drunk, and wine and he gets sad. Sometimes it switches up but normally this is how it goes. After i finally told my parents about my brother and what he had done and him getting kicked out, he began to bury himself in alcohol. I had to get over it fast because he was blaming anyone within pissing distance. Eventually he would cry to me about how he had failed him son, to the daughter that his son had raped. it was really fucked up, and he only ever said that when he was drunk. (I want to say that my dad isn’t an inherently terrible person, he didn’t have a good life growing up and generational trauma hits hard.)He has been using drinking as a way to escape reality for a long time. It’s caused a great deal of arguments and both of my parents asking “what they do to deserve this” while my dad accuses me of treating him like garbage (he says the same thing to my mom). We’ve had to leave the house and spend a few days with other people before because i was scared he was going to hit us instead of the walls next time, multiple times. The most recent bought of fighting has been happening over the last three days. (for more context i moved out right after i turned eighteen, i became a manager at my workplace and was able to live with friends) I’ve been visiting my family and spending time with them since i haven’t really had time the past few months. I guess my mom found out that he had been receiving nudes from other women on messenger and wanted AT LEAST an apology. My dad blamed it on a married friend who was using his phone. it was a lie because he’s been receiving them almost every day. and commenting on them. it makes me sick to think about. he has begun blaming my mom for it. saying she ruined our old house, that she has to one up him, and saying “do you really wanna go there?” while he was the one who fucked up. After screaming at each other for nearly an hour he said he wanted to break up. My mom spiraled and wanted to kill herself. Her psychiatrist that she had a tele-health call with that day, asked me to basically watch my mom to make sure she doesn’t kill herself. I took her pills and asked my dad to lock up his guns. he took this as her “one -upping him”. Yesterday while i was back at my apartment i got a call from my mom explaining that he had gotten drunk and had told her to kill herself. She had left and was at a bridge to watch the water. I drove back in a panic since i live a town over. Today, my father was drunk again and asked me to go spend time alone so he could screw my mom. I didn’t want to be there so i showered and got ready to leave. Turns out their conversation had shifted and he was berating her for “not letting him discipline me”. I guess that after years of pent up anger never being touched on, i finally snapped and began yelling at him. I called him a hypocrite and he called me a bitch. And basically i left as he began to destroy things around the house. That was after i told him if he kept going this way i would cut contact. I’m currently sitting at our outdoor sports complex writing this because everyone i know is busy and i don’t want to bother them. I just needed to get it out. I don’t know if cutting contact is the right thing to do. Of if it makes me an asshole. I’m only eighteen. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Hi. My bf and I are high school sweethearts. We’re 24 and have been together since we were 18. Always been extremely close. He joined the Army and got stationed in Korea. He’s been there for a year. Around the same time he left for basic training i moved states for a job. That job didn’t last for me and it was not an easy move for me at all and i dealt with a lot of loneliness, pain, missing him, and financial issues. I got to see him at graduation and it was amazing, we both missed each other so much. Since he’s been in Korea we have obviously been in contact frequently but he seemed to prioritize his friends and new connections and going out and partying until 8am or later. I would rarely go out ever and was honestly just by myself majority of the time. But still we were making it work, distance puts stress on a relationship regardless. I shared my location with him, gave him my instagram password without having either one of his. I did it to make him feel better about my situation as he expressed that he didn’t like i was living in a new state out of my moms house. I understood even though it wasn’t necessarily fair, but i love him to death and just wanted to make him feel better about it. It hasn’t been easy being away from him but i knew he would be coming back to the states and we could be together. I unfortunately wasn’t in the financial place to be able to go over there as i was looking for a new job. (i regret that move with all of me). We talked about marriage lots but he sometimes seemed unsure about it. Fast forward to about a week or so ago. He messaged this guy on my instagram that randomly shared a reel with me of a funny video. Unfortunately, i shared some dirty messages with this person (the lives across the country in another state). Not nudes or anything but that doesn’t make it any better and i will fully 100% admit that (cringe, i know). I never had any intentions of going to visit the guy or do anything with him physically. but i technically still cheated by engaging in something like that. I didn’t message the guy back again after that conversation whenever he would text me, i wouldn’t answer. But the damage has still been done. I don’t know, i feel like a fucking idiot. I know i fucked up and i genuinely feel horrible for what I did. So my bf pretended to be me, responded to the guy and somehow got him to send screenshots of the messages. I don’t know what all was said between them because he deleted the instagram dm thread. I wake up in the morning to my bf sending me a screenshot of one portion of the dms where the other guy sent the screenshot of the messages. He said nothing else just that alone. I obviously explained to him that i have never done anything with the guy and never would, that i was genuinely sorry and understood that i hurt him by doing that. We argued and argued and he told me that we should just probably not be together. Then he proceeded to tell me that he’s been talking to someone that he likes but kept it very vague and didn’t give me much more information than that when i asked. He said that i’m worried about the wrong thing. So i’m not exactly sure what their relationship consists of.. if they’re sleeping together, dating, etc i don’t know but i was the one in the wrong because he saw proof and i didn’t and had no idea he was involved with someone else. Anyways we ended up getting back to a decent place, not great he was still understandably angry. This was all happening as i was in the middle of packing up my apartment and driving my cat and i halfway across the country to move back home. I was super stressed and got sick in the middle of the move so our communication wasn’t great but i have always been the one to make more of an effort communicating and be patient as i know he’s busy. But he always has time to go out and get shit faced with his friends. This is long as fuck i’m sorry but basically moral of the story, now he blocked me on imessage, unfollowed me on snap and instagram, and won’t answer any of my messages on whatsapp. he answered like twice in the last week or so -ish and told me to shut the fuck up. I’m just so sad and don’t know how to go about handling this. He was basically my only and best friend so now i’m just grieving that loss but i know im at major fault. I’ve always been pretty codependent on him and now i just don’t know what to do. i don’t really need advice because i know i was wrong i just feel like i lost a major part of myself and i can’t stop thinking about what he’s doing, who this other girl is, if he’s going to just go be in a relationship with her and forget about me, and if he will ever talk to me again. It’s also just confusing because i messed up but he’s not exactly right either for hiding this new girl he’s been involved with from me. I don’t want the relationship to be over. Oh and also he’s still been logging into my instagram so it’s just all really confusing. Just sucks because i’m sure he’s having a wonderful time over there while i’m alone and depressed. Send help :(

I’m not going into specifics, but last August my ex and I went to the police to file a statement because someone hacked into his social media account and was threatening to expose his nudes to the public if he didn’t give him money.
Found out right after the report was filed that he lied and just didn’t want to admit to cheating ( he added random girls and was sending nodes to them behind my back)
This happened when he was 17 and I was 18. We’ve been no contact since December, but yesterday his mom reached out to me to see how i was doing.
He made me swear I wouldn’t tell her because it could affect him getting into college and the money that she’ll give him (she’s filthy rich and is paying his college and car bills).
He was a very manipulative person, and he even SA’d me while I was under the influence our first year of dating. Of course I was naive, and out of fear and lack of self respect I stayed with him through all his bs he put me through.
Would it be wrong if I told his lol what he did? I feel it isn’t fair he gets to walk around like he didn’t do all these horrible things to me for two years, and on top of that he treated his sweet mother like a rag even though she did so much for him. And the thought of him doing what he did to me to another girl makes me sick. What should I do?

I’m not sure how I’d format this, but since I was an extremely young child I remember having sexual thoughts. Stuff that isn’t normal for a kid in the ages of 3-6.
My earliest memories of being exposed to sex was when I may have caught my parents having sex. I might have been no older than 3 or 4. The door could’ve been opened, but it’s cloudy. I remember feeling off after. Weirdly enough, I remember replicating the movements and sounds I heard and saw with a stuffed animal. It’s kind of burnt in my memory. At 6 or 7, I was exposed to porn. This was due to my having premature internet access. It fucked me up.
I also have a lot of bed wetting incidents. I even wet the bed with my father in the bed. Some memories I may be unsure on the validity of are when I was a toddler. I remember my cousin trying to watch porn on a TV. I don’t remember much else..
I bring all of this up because of something I am ashamed of that happened. When I was 10-11 years old, I was friends with a younger kid. It was a friendship that happened due to my mom’s relationship with her friend. I would sometimes go over to that younger kid's house. On one weird day, we were on a road trip to some doctor's appointment of theirs or something. I had a phone. I searched up nude photos on Google and showed them to the younger kid. I am forever haunted by the knowledge that I did that. Even if it was for a couple of seconds. At the time, I thought it was okay. I feel terrible if I may have passed on some trauma.
I don’t know how to feel about all this, or if I may have repressed memories. It’s been heavy on me for some time.

I posted here 3 days ago but I had to delete my account due to many messages( more than 200) and single guys sending me nude and dicks pics so please if you are not what I am looking for please don't waste either your time or mine. As the tittle says, I am a morrocan mom, I have 2 kids and I moved with my big family 2 years ago to the US , my family live ine Pennsylvania and I live in Tampa Florida. I lived almost all my life in Morocco so I couldn't do what I really want to . My family is very religious and old school and I still wear my hijab around them. I am looking for moms like me and nudists families to talk,be friends and possibly meet up to visit nude beaches and resorts. As we all know there are way too many fake profiles so I prefer to verify first thing so we can be both comfortable and talk freely. Thanks and wish the best of luck to everyone.

First, I want to say I am happy to have found this supportive group. I don’t have anyone to talk to about this specific issue, so please bear with me it is a lengthy post.
I was probably about 7 years old. This was the early 2000s, so me and my sister would steal my dad’s flip phone we thought it was the coolest thing. Then we would find messages with his friends that would say things like “it’s get you a new gf day” along with a nude photo of a woman probably too young. there had been multiple nude photos that we had found. Even one time a video played with a loud pornographic sound. My parents are still married so even back then my sister and I felt badly for my mother. He had also mentioned to my mom in front of us all (me about 13) how he had been to a local specific topless bar a “long time ago” when my sister and I were toddlers. Again, I just felt horrible for my mom as the sinking feeling made itself a home in my gut to this day.
When I was 14 I started dating my first bf we dated for four years. I would feel sick and just worthless because of the movies we would watch. They would have nudity and he would make comments on the actresses. Even comparing me to some. His entire family would. He mentioned this to his mom and she told him I was young and insecure. I was pressured into sending him nudes or else he would watch porn and then blame me for it. I remember the rush of emotions, that sinking feeling when I would find even “innocent” photos of girls at school in his phone or porn in his search history. When we would go to the movies I was always on edge. I would search on those sites that go through the parent’s guide of nudity so I could prepare myself or convince to watch something else.
I dated another guy at 19. When were first together he told me he had never had an orgasm through sex and frequently struggled getting it up. It eventually went away but our sex life wasn’t healthy and we ended things. However, when I was about 20 I started dating a guy let’s call him David. David was the sweetest man. I felt so safe with him. We had an amazing sex life. I never had to worry about anything relating to porn or women around him at all. When I was about 22 I made a new friend let’s call him Jack. Jack and I were good friends nothing more. Until, two years into our friendship I fell “in love” with Jack. This caused me to end things with David. For the first year (we were separated for about 7 months) we never had penetrative sex. During the first couple of months, he told me he didn’t want his ED to negatively affect me. I thought because my ex was having issues and I understood it had nothing to do with me I would be fine. I went through our relationship believing it was ED. which turned out to be half the truth. I also believed his alcohol addiction and unhealthy lifestyle had something to do with it.
The part that sickens me the most is that we were friends first for two years, he told me he loved me and then destroyed me with his addiction. While we were friends shifting into a romantic relationship I would be grossed out by his prior use of strip clubs once spending thousands of dollars. Especially because in our relationship he would complain about spending money on me. He would always check out other women when we were together. It made me feel like I just wasn’t enough. One time on YouTube it was a video of this couple, the woman was doing her thirst trap thing with her butt and he said “We know why he’s with her” “She worked for that… you turn” I was so upset because I had already been insecure about my butt and into fitness for almost a decade, and dealing with body dysmorphia. Another time me, him and his friend were at a grocery store (this is the time of our budding romance) they pointed out how good this girl's butt was and followed her for a couple of isles claiming she wanted it to be seen.
I feel so stupid and ashamed typing this, the thought of getting into a relationship with a guy displaying this behavior WITH ME BY HIS SIDE. fast forward to six months later, 1.5 years into a relationship, 3 years of friendship. I’m now 25, he is 28. Still no sex. He told me he thinks his hormones are balanced and I honestly felt bad for him and encouraged him to talk to his doctor. He started taking the blue pills they kinda worked, but not really. I would talk about how I felt with my male therapist. I also felt very isolated almost because the honeymoon phase was ending he didn’t even want to cuddle.
We lived together at this point. My therapist told me he may have a PA, he may be lying to you about it. I thought no way because I had been looking through his phone frequently from a general lack of trust. I did ask him multiple times he would of course deny it. He would always be looking at thirst trap comments on Snapchat and YouTube. Even commented on one of my friends once “It was a joke”. I would tell him multiple times I did not like our sex life and it can’t continue like this.
I swear your PA may lie, but the algorithm doesn’t. I remember I got this TikTok on my FYP. The guy who in his videos starts by saying “Oh you want to know another disgusting secret about men” he talked about lying PA. I knew at that moment that’s what it was.
On the commercials for my favorite show, WWE commercials would come on. Women with makeup, hair and lingerie and I noticed he would always stare. I thought I was just making this in my head until once he made the comment that “he used to find them attractive when he was younger and that they are hot.” A couple of months ago we went on a trip. He would be sitting next to me just scrolling through YT reels of thirst content thinking I am blind. The first time we had sex he would buy my lingerie and I would go put it and makeup on while he was in the other room I noticed when I came out he had been on his phone. He was ALWAYS on his phone. I knew in my heart it was from watching porn bc he was hard. He claimed it was bc he was thinking of me. This happened a couple of times. I knew the truth but I ignored it because I craved intimacy.
The scrolling on Yt shorts happened again one night, his algorithm was just thirst trap after thirst trap including WWE clips. I was so stressed I knew I was not going to sleep the night. I planned to wake up and go through his phone while he was asleep. When I did, I found him on Reddit pages with porn of WWE women. Emails saying he signed into adult websites the date and times right before we would have sex. Even an article on the best VR sets for porn. I thought wow he’s really thinking of investing this amount of money when he can’t even invest in our relationship. My heart shattered into the glass, glad that continued to cut me. I never felt so disrespected or taken for granted, like I was never good enough before. I cannot believe someone who says they love me more than ever would gaslight me so hard.
The next day we were out at a restaurant he asked what was on my mind since I had been acting differently. Me: “ I’m going to ask you a question I’ve asked you before but this time you’re going to tell me the truth” Jack: immediately “no” I asked him to think again before you answer, why are you lying to me he kept denying it until I said why are you so comfortable lying to me. He said I’m not. Maybe I used it too much before in the past. I said I don’t trust you and I have no mental peace with you this thing between us cannot continue.
…Y’all this is all while he was trying to get me to move across the country with him!! The next morning we talked about it and I told him how he crushed me and how I went through his phone and after I said that, he then started feeling very bad, even shedding tears. Looking back it’s as if he knew that I knew I wasn’t crazy.
It sucks because I feel I will always love him and leaving was the hardest thing I had to do. I still go back and forth about my love for him it’s always love and pure hate. Half of the time I want to call him and tell him exactly how much he destroyed my mental health. I still always scan my surroundings, and the media around me. I still compare myself to every woman because I am used to him checking out everyone. He would say it takes nothing from me but it does. I’m tired of people saying that it’s insecurity if you want your man to only have eyes for you and make excuses.
I know this was not the case when I was with David it was never like this. I felt empowered and loved. Now I have begun to get back together with David but I feel like I am carrying all this baggage from Jack's pa. David is against this type of behavior and even talks about how it is disturbing how porn is so prevalent everywhere ( he doesn’t know about the pa with Jack or my past). I feel like I am soo disgruntled towards men (Dad included) even though David is innocent and probably the best man I’ve ever had in my life. My mental health decline from not trusting my gut is painful.
Thank you for reading and your support. I wish you all love and light.

I’ll always feel guilty for the loss of a potential family, but I desperately want this man off my mind. I don’t even know where to begin. I just have a lot to say and no one who really has the time to listen. I’ll try to stay vague but our social circles don’t really intermingle and I don’t think I know anyone on here in real life. I can barely remember specific moments or map together periods of time cohesively but I’ll try my best. I used bullet points on my notes app to try to organize the important parts. So if it reads weird or blocky, I apologize. Trying to post multiple places for multiple opinions.
I hate to admit that I think I 23/F still love my baby’s father 30/M. That may not even be true. I’m hoping it’s just the drastic hormone changes after having a baby. I don’t want to reconcile or get back together, I just want a genuine opinion from anyone that bothers to read the entire thing or advise from anyone that may have been in a similar situation. It was a very toxic and abusive relationship due to both parties. I toyed with his feelings until it was too late and he would drink and get physical. I was always accusing him of cheating or wanting to cheat because my ex had cheated. Meanwhile I was in fact projecting in a way because I was still messaging said ex. Ex and I were friends before we had dated and were together for 2 years. He had cheated on his other relationships so I should have seen it coming, but he ended up trying to cheat on me and I ended things. I was 19-20 at the time and joined tinder. Experimented a little but ended up hooking up with a guy that had a crush on me in HS. We only hooked up 2-3 times but it started getting weird and I chickened out. Then I got an apartment and a better job and started casually hooking up with the ex again. I think he had a gf at this time but I didn’t ask. At the new job is where I met BD. He started a few weeks after me. I was 20 and he was 28 at the time. We started hanging out after work to smoke. It’s not something I would normally do with just one person and he wasn’t really my type. But the hangouts got longer and more frequent. And I ended up cutting the ex off again. A couple months in, I moved in way too soon because my roommate and I didn’t get along. My ex would still message me occasionally for some reason. He definitely had a gf at this time. Some would be nudes. I didn’t encourage the behavior but I also didn’t discourage it. Bd saw the messages while we were on vacation and was understandably upset. I was upset with myself for responding. I justified it to myself by claiming I was trying to waste his time. In reality he was wasting mine and not suffering in the slightest. There couldn’t have been a worse moment for him to find the messages. The week was supposed to be a huge step in our relationship and I could see how crushed he was. If I were him I would have left me in the hotel states away and gone home that morning. The whole ride home I was sick. I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling, over something I so easily could have avoided and someone I had no interest in romantically or sexually anymore. I believe this is the first time Things got physical but as I said, the timeline is super blurry now. Regardless, if it was the first time, it should’ve been the last. No one should put up with being hit. And No one should feel that their only option is to put their hands on someone. This was when we were finally getting back to his house in our own state. He had picked up a few beers before hand, and that was generally his fuel to either argue or get violent. He had slapped me, choked me and spit in my face, all to which I gave him no reaction. I just sat on the bed silently, or tried to lock myself in the bathroom. He would walk away to smoke a cigarette and immediately come back to fight some more. He told me to pack up my shit but got more pissed off when he came inside to see me packing up my shit. I eventually got a few things packed up and made it to my grandmas’s house. We both calmed down and after a few calls and texts. he wanted to see where I was staying. I picked him up and brought him to my grandma‘s house. (Note: I should probably add that right before we got together. He got in a car accident that totally totaled his car and got a DUI. Since then I had been his ride and always joked That that’s all he kept me around for) We arrived at my grandma’s house, where she had a guestroom ready for me. He just sat on the bed with his head down and cried. He said that it looked like it was so easy for me to move on without him. Looking back, this should’ve been another red flag. All I had was a place to stay after being kicked out. He couldn’t accept that I would land on my feet without him. Most of my belongings were still at his house, and I didn’t want to burden my grandmother any further So I ended up going back with him. At this time I was still apologizing to him for what I had done and how I had made him react. One night after an argument, and a rough day in general. He walked out to grab a case of beer from the gas station and didn’t come back for hours. When I finally went out looking for him, he was at the spot that we had first kissed. There He told me I was holding him back From what he envisioned for his future. It was a lot more drawn out, less cohesive and not so nice (he had been well into his beer by then) but that was the gist of it. One of my biggest fears is being a burden, or anyone holding some secret resentment towards me. Him drinking only let me know how he truly felt and how he wanted to react. I could never put the same effort into the relationship after that. I felt like it was already over and had been over for a long time. A while later, he had seen that my ex reached out again nothing flirtatious this time, but he was still upset, understandably. He got violent again, and I locked myself in the bathroom. He took my keys and my phone and said he was going to go find him. I packed up a few things again and tried to walk over to my dad‘s house. His mission was futile and he ended up finding me walking and brought me back home. The whole night was tense and I didn’t feel safe in the morning before he woke up. I started quietly packing up my things. He woke up and immediately flew into a rage and started dumping my things out onto the ground. I called my mom to help me get out all the big things because I wanted to be all out in one trip. As I was leaving, he was screaming at my mother and I about how much a piece of shit I was, but was right back to begging for me back as soon as I was down the road. This was a reoccurring cycle for us. I’d always keep my phone and keys together in a designated spot in the house so I could get them quickly if I needed to leave. The ex no longer reached out, but we were both still suspicious of one another. Sometimes I would be gone for days sometimes weeks my belongings no longer came back because it didn’t feel like home anymore. It didn’t Feel like a safe or stable place for me. This also made him upset. Every time I would leave we would still text every day. It was an extremely toxic situation. During one period of time that i was gone He had one of our coworkers over for about a week sleeping in my bed with my cats. Throughout our entire relationship and our brakes I never met up with another person. I did leave so I didn’t have the right to be too upset. But He wasted no time having her over for an extended period of time while still begging for me to come back every day. Then I had to coax this information out of him after finding her clothes all over the house. I couldn’t get over the feeling that he had her and others lined up for when I was gone and him wanting me back meant nothing. By this time the dude I had gone to school/hooked up with had started at our job (This would seem like a cruel joke but we were in the same trade and this was one of the only decent jobs in our town.) I guess we had had a silent mutual agreement to keep out past between us because they became friends. Well, After finding out about his coworker, I told him about mine. It didn’t matter that the dates didn’t overlap. He went nutts. I don’t remember exactly how it all went down after that, but I left of course and he ended up going to this 20 year olds apartment. His roommate answered and BD demanded to know where this dude was and ends up slapping the roommate. (I have no idea why I kept going back. Typing this out, I feel so stupid. He was clearly fucking crazy and my brain was telling me to get the fuck out.) I was already suspicious of him because of how we both acted before we got together, but all of this just made it so much worse. I wanted to know why he felt the need to intimidate me into staying with him and calling it “crazy love” when he could so easily move on and leave me alone. (Why did infidelity have to be the dealbreaker and not everything else?) Bringing up my suspicions or insecurities, just made him defensive and occasionally violent. I never got any reassurance and my reasons for staying were few and far between. Then we found out I was pregnant. We found out when I was about seven weeks pregnant. The last time we had gotten into a physical fight I had been about 4 to 5 weeks pregnant. I was scared. Bd seemed happy. He said he wanted to be a family. Over the next few weeks, I was having extremely bad morning sickness I was in and out of the hospital on an IV for fluids and couldn’t leave our bedroom or bathroom. I still had to drive him to and from work which was only about 30 min round trip but I’d always have to stop on the side of the road to puke. (Note: There were five cats living in this house that I was Feeding and cleaning up after. We inherited two from the homeowner and three were ours) The house started to smell because I could no longer keep up with the cats, and this just made my morning sickness even worse. On top of this, I was having extremely bad back pain that I thought was just a symptom of pregnancy. After one of my trips to the hospital for fluids, they informed me that I had a UTI. I was about 10-11 weeks pregnant by then. I tried to tell him that I needed help with the house and that it was making me miserable. He just expressed that I would be complaining regardless. Whether it be about him spending enough time with me, helping clean, or working. This wasn’t even the worst of the treatment that I had received, but being pregnant, This was the last straw. I knew I couldn’t bring a baby into the abusive cycle that we were putting each other through. I don’t remember exactly how it happened. At this point I was looking for any reason to leave. But it happened and again I started packing up my shit. This time he barely put up a fight. He tried to dump my stuff out on the floor once, but I said if he tried to put his hands on me, I’d call the police this time. He sat in the kitchen on his phone until I was done packing. As I was carrying my belongings out to my car still weak and sick, we were screaming back-and-forth about how much we hated each other, and how I would never give him the chance to put his hands on my child. He shouted that he didn’t think the baby was even his, to which I replied, “Good, then I’ll never have to fight you in court”. That was our last face to face interaction. I filed for a civil protection order. It’s been about a year and since then, he has been claiming to his coworkers and his mother that my ex is the father. His mother doesn’t seem to believe him as she had kept in contact with me throughout my pregnancy, and since the baby’s been born. She requests a paternity test just to be sure, but I have no doubts that the baby is his. I am almost positive that he knows the baby is his too. His claims of me cheating are only his way of justifying me leaving and making it my fault. I sent her the information to reach out for a paternity test, but she hasn’t shown me any indication that he wants to be part of the baby’s life. Any time she brings up the situation to him, he gets angry with her and hangs up. I don’t know what’s going on in his life and I don’t want to. I’d only obsess over it and make myself upset if I did. I assume he’s living his dream and chasing his goals without me there to hold him back, especially with a child. Even after typing all this out and rereading and editing, I still miss him. I shouldn’t. I can’t tell if it’s the cycle calling me back or the drastic changes in hormones. I can’t even think of a reason that I should miss him. I don’t even think I miss him, just his presence or energy? It’s so hard to explain and I don’t want to feel this way. I have nightmares about trying to get away from him and out of the house but try to force myself back into the same dream just so I can see him. Is this normal? Do any other moms feel this way? Only attracted to the baby’s father even while split up? I have no sex drive when I used to be a fiend. I heard this can be a side-effect of the drastic hormone changes, but I don’t even feel an attraction anymore. Unless they’re a very specific type (My BD). I have no desire to move on or find a romantic connection. I do more harm than good and I’d rather focus on being a mom (which I’m loving aside from this issue).I know there’s no way of going back even if I wanted to. The damage has been more than done. I just want to make moving on easier and forget him. Do I just have to wait?

Tried to get these in some sort of order….. let’s start slow….
The faces
Get your screenshots
Tongue
The face I make when police check cavities
Cheese teeth
Bursting out the cage
Kratom lick
Embarrassing 🙈
Body shake faces
Caked up shawty
Chris Chan
Ankle biter
Period Pooh
Bottom
Big Ed
Kratom spill faces
Tiny diny / roses / peach ice cream / Turkey
Tiny diny
Rose / Tiny Diny
Rose
Peach ice cream
Turkey
Wheelchair ♿️
I was in a wheelchair once
BAD CHAT !
Shape up chat !
Fitwithnips
Chat did it !
TIME OUT !
Our short knight
Nicks favorite gift
Nick hates the tall knight
Mom troll gifts
Rant interruption
Bear mask era ✨
Bear masking
Menacingly
Terrified kids
Disgusted girl
Battle beef with mask
GET OUT OF MY ROOM !
Keep trollin’ , trollin’ , trollin’ , trollin’
Clown
Harris vs tree
Valentine’s Day cards
Airplane girl
EDP445
Sean Gatz
Threats
Sober king
Hurting people
Boys hate little girls
T’was the night before eviction
Soft voice prince
Soft voice prince pt2
Soft voice prince pt3
Troll accounts
Chipotle
Nicks mom
Nicks stuffed owl
Nicks stuffed owl pt2
The plaque on nicks teeth
Haywood mall security
Nicks trespass warrant
Battle fun / speed dating
Face down ass up
Tweaker talent show
Bridget speed dating
Bridget speed dating pt2
Flirting with Sophia
Sadie pt1
Sadie pt2
Don’t ignore lil Nicky
Megan - Morgan?
Unimpressed queen
Not cute call out
Plenty of women want him ?
Fighting with lip singer
Monkey kiss kiss
BRITNEY GO AWAY
Terri joe pt1
Terri joe pt2
Dance off
Handstand
Lil flippy
Wet stain
Happy birthday Gino
The call out
Passive aggressive
What does strangler mean ?
Delusions
No one letting him make them smile
I would treat you like my woman
All Reddit girls want me
It’s all the girls
Him making sense ?
Low standards
Domestic violence isn’t a joke
Not a snowflake
Taking to air pt1
Taking to air pt2
Troll army - troll king
Positive king
The lies
Ramblings of an unhinged man
Ummm…. Moves
Ummm…. Moves pt2
Face down ass up
Fart noise
Remembers us all
Sees us in public
Act your rating
Hurt king
Hurt king pt2
Happy to unhinged
Happy to unhinged pt2
Happy to unhinged pt3
Happy Birthday
Can’t hold liqour
Leave me alone
Up for a day
Up for a day pt2
Crying about Laura
Yelling at him
Putting for on plates & making legs shake
Knife
No proof
Fake crying
Because he don’t have a car
How he could be famous
Tina
He’s walking away…. Or jumping ?
Slow ??
Pick me
Misandrist
We are sick
Maturing
Incidents
Dogs out
Dogs out pt2
Hand situation
Lactation
Toothbrush boycott
Shower boycott
Bricky Nicky
Swamp ass
Swamp ass pt2
Nose in ass
Nude flash
Nude flash pt2
Cinnabeef
Whopper lies
Kratom spill
Yogurt cup
RIP bed frame
Drugs
Desk tour pt1
Desk tour pt2
Nick leaks #
Breakdown
Elf on the shelf
Admits bisexual
Haywood mall blowie
Toe sucking pt1
Toe sucking pt2
Co-worker
Mommy issues Fb post
Mommy video
Woman who tried selling pics of minors
Being creepy with minors
Drew afualo

 Cops incident 

Pre-cop
Cops pt1
Cops pt2
Cops pt3
Cops pt4
Cops pt5
Cops pt6
Cops pt7
Cops pt8
Cops pt9

 Cop incident x2 

Cops pt1
Cops pt2
Post cop live

 Matt alright incident 

Matt alright IG post
Nick’s response
Explanation of Matt alright
Live pt1
Live pt2
Live pt3
Live pt4
Live pt5
Post live pt1
Post live pt2

 Coffee shop incident 

Coffee shop live pt1
Coffee shop live pt2
Coffee shop live pt3
Coffee shop live pt4

 Gym ban incident 

Gym ban confirmation
New gym doxx
Gym ban talk
Blame for gym ban

 Mall trespass incident 

Mall trespass announcement
Pre trespass encounter
Mall pics
Mall insanity
Mall dance
JCP floor
Cop encounter pt1
Cop encounter pt2
Cop encounter pt3
Cop encounter pt4
Post mall trespass

 Wine night lore 

Chugging wine
Rambling
Puking
Rolling in puke
Post wine night
Wine stain

 Lease not renewed 

Lease not renewed
Hope this clears some of the lore and incidents up for anyone curious ! Again I am truly thankful for all of you for making this group what it is today! Let me know if I forgot anything or you think should be added!
Shout out to the posters of these videos and anyone who had input on the lore/trolls!
Happy snarking 🫶🏼🫶🏼

I honestly don't know where to start. My dad has never been a good person for as long as I can remember. I (18) have 3 siblings. 24,23 and 4. Growing up me and my siblings were always abused. We would get thrown into walls, beat until we were bloody and weak. Handcuffed to our beds and couldn't get up unless we screamed out and asked. We couldn't get water unless we asked. We couldn't use the bathroom unless we screamed and begged. Even then my dad would stand outside the bathroom and if we were there linger than 5 minutes he would open the door or even rip us out the bathroom. It was worse for both my siblings. I was my dad's favourite. I wish I wasn't. But it made things easier. I experienced what they went through but less. My brother used to wake up with my dad beating on him. Sometimes for things he didn't even do. My dad would fight us at the ripe age of 7. I dint mean whoop our ass either. I mean actually beat us. Chase us around the house, pull our hair punch us in the rips. Make holes in the walls from our body. And my mom stood by, watching. She too was afraid. Some days we were forced to get naked. He would bring people over like his friends or his family and they would watch him beat us in our underwear. We were kids. We were girls. Girls getting beat in front of grown men. Screaming and crying begging to stop and let us go. Nobody helped us. They just watched. They sat by and just fucking watched. Some came back and were still around my father but most left. They couldn't be friends with a man like him. I wish I could describe what that man had done to my brother but my sibling won't tell me. It's been years since my brother moved out, he's left that life behind him and I'm so thankful for it. My brother is happy. Living with his girlfriend and making music now. My sister's however, we all live with our parents. And every day, I see my mother in agony. He beats her. He Screams in her face. He throws knifes at hern and when she says she's gonna leave he throws himself in our garage and tells her he's going to kill himself. So she fights for him to stay alive. Because she still loves him even though she's being mistreated. Even though he's mistreated us. Her children. He cheated on her with his friend. (Let's call her B)
B had a child of her own, she came into our lives when I was in about 6th grade. She was horrible. She clearly wanted my father. She made up things about me and told them to my dad so I would get in trouble. She misconstrued my words till I was grounded for being disrespectful or thrown at my mother. My mom knew everything that went on. She saw her. B would push me into the walls and on the floor. They forced me to call her daughter my sister. Throughout my protests, they never stopped. I would actually get beat for saying she wasn't. She called my dad, daddy even though she HAD a dad. This is the woman my dad first started cheating on my mom with. My mom would coom and clean. Take care of him financially . Let this woman into our house. Into our lives only for her to turn around and fuck it up. One day I went to walk my dog and when I got back my father was in handcuffs. How funny. It wasn't me anymore. It wasn't us being Handcuffed. In some twisted fate there he was. Sitting in our lawn. 10 police cars all over my street. So many officers guarding the house and him. I cried. Maybe he was gone forever. I don't care about what he did. I care about how long he's going to be gone. My mother informed me that his mistress b scratched his face in an argument and he abused the fuck outta her in front of her child. Then took her phone and left. I prayed that day. I prayed he would be gone forever. I prayed he would never make it back home. And yet he did. My mom begged me and my sister's for bail money. And it's my mom. As much as I hate that man. I love my mom. I would do anything for her. I tried to tell her I didn't want to. He wasn't good for us but she cried into my arms. She didn't want my little sister to grow up without a dad. She was financially dependent on him even tho he didn't have a job at the time. I'm guessing he got a check because he was ex military but I'm not sure. He came back the night before thanks giving. Next morning he disappeared. Told my mom he was gonna kill himself then went silent. Mom begged me to talk to him. SHE said he was only willing to talk to me. She begged and begged " please baby, please I don't want to lose him" I couldn't say no. So I sat outside by the ring camera. Alone. At the age of 14 I talked my dad out of killing himself. By. Myself.
Now years later, B hasn't been in out lives and he's cheating again. My mother despises him. If he drops dead today she wouldn't care. She just wants to be a person. She's told us to pack a bag in case he goes crazy she's ready to leave. He's cheating on her with a woman from him new job. She found pictures of her nudes on his watch. I pray for my mommas safety. I will fight for her. I'm old enough now to understand that my mom was afraid too. I'm old enough to understand that sometimes you just need to put down a man if he hurts your family. He isn't my dad and he's not a real man. I wouldn't normally wish death. But he may deserve it.
(Sorry if there's typos I literally broke the right hand side of my screen so I can't see anything n I don't have money or a car to go fix it ) <3

It really started yesterday when I heard about the ios update bringing back old photos. I called my dad asking for his password but I told him I was looking “for an old world file.” My mom and have had our suspicions before but when I unlocked the iPad the photos app was already open. I saw a video where he recorded his phone opening a sent video on WhatsApp of a woman showing her breasts. Before he opens that video I see their messages and they’re all sexual. I begin going through the iPad and I keep finding nude images of women, sometimes I found random pornography. I’m devastated because I love my dad but I can’t just pretend this isn’t happening either. I was thinking of telling one of my cousins so that he could possibly tell my aunt and uncle I just worry because they are on my dad’s side of the family and my mom would explode if I told her. Do I just confront him? Do I just tell my mom? What can I possibly do?

When I was 13 (around the start of 8th grade) I liked this girl ,(at the time 13, who I’ll call “EX”), and asked her out about 2 weeks into knowing her (I knew her a little previously) and I guess we started dating. About a week or two later she started being more sexual. She sent me videos talking about sexual things she’d want to do to me and I didn’t know whether to be uncomfortable or aroused. I decided to do the same back to her but a lot more straightforward and I’d just suggest stuff. The point of this isn’t about her but instead about this new girl(15, who I’ll call GF) I’m 15 now (end of 9th) and I really like GF who likes me back too. We’ve been talking for 9 months and we both confessed we liked each other around February this year. We aren’t technically dating since she needs permission from her mom but I told her that when we do, she’d be my first girlfriend. I feel guilty about saying that since I guess I technically dated EX. And that has me thinking a lot of how much of a bad person I was since I also told her that (when we kissed) that was my first kiss. And I felt more guilty thinking of all the stuff I did with EX. I’ll spare you the time by saying we got sexual (no sex), hugged, kissed, and way more stuff that I told GF I’ve never done. I’ve made GF think like I’m an innocent person. My relationship with EX was kinda public (my mom didn’t know) but I still felt a little embarrassed with her in school for a reason I don’t know. I also decided that one night to start telling people that she sexual assaulted me (after we broke up) for some reason. I assume I felt like she did but I don’t remember. I also also decided it would be funny to “make a joke” that I would only go to bed if she sent me a nude, kinda like the “when pigs can fly” phrase basically meaning she’d never do that. She did do that and I felt extremely bad. I let all of that go and was fine until I met GF. I now fear that 2 years later all of that will come back to bite me and ruin my relationship with GF who I care so much about. I also feel disgusting for lying to GF about her being my first girlfriend, kiss, among other things. I feel like a shitty human being as I have for a while. Worst thing is that EX was a mutual friend to a lot of people I fear that she has proof of me doing all of that stuff and is going to expose, which would ruin me and GF’s relationship. Me not saying all of that isn’t technically hurting our relationship since most of that I felt wasn’t out of love but I’m 100% sure I’m feeding into my own delusional thoughts. I keep trying to justify it by saying reasons for all that stuff such as saying that because I dated EX in middle school that it’s not a real relationship. I genuinely hate myself and I’m trying so hard to move on even with the guilt. If I tell her it would ruin our relationship and then I’d have nobody. I completely deserve this and I want to kill myself. But I at least want to try to change before I do so. I am a horrible person.

I (20f) have been working at a dog grooming salon since I was 18 and worked part-time at an amusement park. One day one of my co-workers (amusement park) had one of their friends show up during park hours; we chatted for a bit after closing and the friend asked for my number so we could hang out. I never had many friends because my family moved so much, so wanting to make a new friend, I agreed, and we started hanging out. For anonymity, I'll call them P. They are a year older than me so 19 when I met them 21 now. During that time there were a bunch of weird things that happened. Like when we hung out for the very first time, they took me on a hike, that happened to be the area was where Ted Bundy stashed a bunch of bodies. It was dusk when we started, we weren't following a trail just exploring, and by the end of the hike we had to find our way back through the dark. I know that is the biggest red flag ever and I should not have done that as the first hang out. No cell service, at dusk/dark, hiking with a stranger, that's just asking to be murdered. But this was one of my co-worker’s friends, so I thought it would be fine. After that, we started hanging out more regularly, seeing movies and such, and they also started introducing me to their friends. There was this one friend that I kind of liked and was flirting with, I'll call them Z.
Z is the same age as P, 19. We started all hanging out together frequently. Z and P had this very weird, codependent relationship where they felt very intimate with one another, but probably didn’t want to commit to a relationship and would often date the other’s crush. P also admitted that they liked me and was upset that I liked Z instead. P had this constant, weird tendency to start freaking out and acting like I was doing something wrong by being friends with Z. Z and I never hung out without P, but P and I hung out without Z. P had a lot of weird rules about how I could behave around them. There were only certain things I could do and only certain movies we could watch, it was very controlling. It was like there were a hundred rules that I didn't know and if I broke a rule, I would be yelled at and treated like I personally attacked them or something. During all of this I met another person, I'll call M.
M met me at my amusement park job and followed me throughout my entire shift. By the end of the night, M kept trying to get my number and I kept saying no, but eventually M started following me to my car so to get M to leave me alone, I gave them my Instagram. M started showing up at the amusement park every day it was open to find me, would follow me home, and threatened me. M found Z and P through my Instagram and Z ended up giving my phone number to M. Throughout the next 2 weeks M would show up at the amusement park and continue to follow me home and threaten me. I eventually got M banned from the amusement park and got threatened with a suicide scare (threatening suicide to get their way), various other physical threats, and a death threat; it was very frightening. At that point I was just blocking everything I could find from M and trying to avoid them. Thankfully, I didn't see M again, but after this P and Z were already starting to lose my trust after giving my number out to M. I let them know not to give my number out again.
Literally a month later, I was talking to P & Z about going to college, how it's expensive, and I was looking for a program or something like that to help with scholarships and things. Z started talking up this opportunity that would help with scholarships and how exciting it was. I agreed that it was amazing, asked what it was, and how to get into contact and apply for it. Z said that it was a person and already gave my number to them. I was startled that they gave my number out again after M, but I hate the state I'm in, I want to move, and getting my degree and moving out-of-state was more on my mind than anything else. The person Z gave my number to, and I struck up a conversation even though I was a little distrusting of the situation, but trusted P & Z.
They both began talking it up again once they found out about them contacting me, so I decided to follow the instructions of the contact. They sent me this photo of a check to deposit on my banking app and said to then give them $2,000 back and keep the rest. I didn't realize this is a very common scam at the time and luckily the bank flagged it as a fake check. I then had the most embarrassing experience of my life, at 18 I had to go into the bank with my mom and admit that I got scammed. The banker explained that this is a very common scam and because of how large the check amount was and how one of the first few transactions with this account was fraud (I had just opened a second bank account for a college fund), it was more than likely that my bank account was going to be closed. Luckily, because I didn't try to transfer anything out before the check got denied (that's how the scammers get you), I was able to save my bank account and not have it be closed. After dealing with the bank, I was very, very upset with P and Z. I told them both what happened and both of them just blew it off. No apologies or anything, even though they gave my number WITHOUT permission to another awful person. First a stalker, now scammers that almost closed my college fund. They both just kind of went "Oh, that sucks. Anyways, when do you want to hang out next?" I told them both I didn't want to talk to them for a while and that I had to fix the whole mess with my bank account, along with trying to get my number off of the scammers’ lists, as the scammers that they gave my number to, sent it to a bunch of other scammers for months afterwards. I was getting calls and texts from scammers that were sending things from phishing attempts to sending nude photos for money. I stopped talking to them both and blocked Z.
At the two-month mark, P showed up at the pet salon I work at. I was very upset and told P to never do that again. As work is where I work and it’s not someplace, I hang out with people. I go to work to work, and I felt uncomfortable with P just showing up after what happened. I had still not gotten an apology from neither P nor Z. After that I didn't talk to P for another year and a half. P did occasionally send messages, asking me if I was ready to hangout. At the end of the messages P would put "and I'm being all brave and things because I know that you hate me. But I hope we can hang out soon." That stopped about 6 months into the year and a half.
I ended up quitting my job at the amusement park and working at the pet salon more and P & Z were both completely gone from my mind until 3 weeks ago when P showed up at my work again. I was very surprised because it had been so long, and this begins where I might be the asshole. P started the conversation by saying "I just wanted to say hi, and I'm being all brave because I know you hate me, and I just wanted to see how you're doing and I hope we can hang out but I just thought I'd be brave and come out and say hi." In that moment of being shocked from seeing them, I remembered P is someone that whenever you try to set boundaries or be stern with them, they'd freak out and start crying and yelling. Since I was at work, I didn't want that to happen, and P already looked ready to throw a tantrum. So, I acted friendly and said “Oh, it's so nice to see you.” P took that in ran with it. Here's the conversation:
P: Maybe we can hang out some time.
Me: Sure, you still have my number, I guess you could text me.
P: That's great. I'll text you as soon as I get home! I'll text you right now, actually! Maybe we can see a movie.
Me: Great... Sure, a movie sounds fun. Anyways, I have to get back to work, it was nice seeing you.
P: Yeah! It was great! I'll see you around!!
After that I just went back to work and P left. P then started texting me constantly, asking for movie suggestions we could see together. I thought that if P had changed over the past year and a half, then maybe we could be friends again. I suggested 2 new movies coming out, one was Argyle, and the other one was Poor Things. P rejected both of them saying that they were too inappropriate. After watching Poor Things, I agree that it is not the most appropriate, but it was a good movie, Argyle, on the other hand, I don't think is inappropriate. P was only making suggestions for watching movies at their place, and were very, very pushy about it. P would not accept any movies out in public or in a public space. I did not feel safe enough with P to go to their home, after everything that happened. I started feeling uneasy about the situation, so I decided to politely blow P off. I told P that something happened, and my schedule was too hectic to plan anything, and I'll let them know and then blocked P (this is where I think I am an asshole).
I found out a week later from my manager that P had come in a week before the most recent visit to my work and asked for my manager. P then told my manager that I was mad at them and hated them but P still wanted to talk to me so they wanted to know what days and what time I worked, and my manager told them that they can't give out that information and P just said. "Okay, I'll come back later." After finding out that P had come to my work to try and get my schedule, it started feeling like an M situation again. I contacted my manager and asked if P asks for me again “I don't exist”, “I'm not there”, or “I'm busy” and ask permission if I could inform my co-workers as well that if this person asks for me to not let them know I'm there. I was also speaking with some of my friends, and they said that some of this behavior was concerning, and I should be careful.
So reddit Am I The Asshole?

This ended up bigger than I anticipated 😅
TL;DR: My 22-year-old son dropped out of college and it's been making good money on OnlyFans selling nudes. I'm not happy with this and I'm afraid if he continues he will want to make a career out of it. AITH for not liking and approving what he's doing?
Hello! Throwaway account since I know my kids use this app but defiantly not the same subs lol I’m a mom and My youngest son is 22 years old and just dropped out of his second college, he says he’s still trying to figure out what he wants to do and I'm glad that I'm able to support him while he looks for what he wants. I told him and my older kids when they were going through this many times that I and their father would always support them as long as they needed us, they would always have a roof over their heads, food, clothes, phone, the basics, but if they want money they either work for it or go to school, I’ll not give them an allowance for them to be home doing nothing, that’s the rule. While my son was in college both times not only did we pay for the tuition we also gave him an allowance so he could buy his things, go out on the weekends, and enjoy life, the moment he got home said he quit, and that he will take some time to figure out what’s next I told him he’s more than welcome here that this is always going to be his home but I will not give him his allowance anymore and only will give him the basic. This was a huge fight that me and his father stood our ground on as we told him that he knew this rule already and that if he wanted money he could get a job.
This was earlier this year, and now he’s still at our place, he sometimes visits a college and watches some classes but hasn’t signed up or made a decision, and he also hasn’t found a job, he spends the entire day working out in the gym or at his bedroom playing games or whatever, and on the weekends he’s out all the time. Like I said I don’t mind what he does, if he wants some time out is ok, but we won’t pay more than the basics for him. But I started noticing he’s buying new things, gym gear, expensive clothes, concert tickets… I started getting suspicious, I know he has some rich friends that pay for his parties on the weekends but not these other things, so I started suspecting my husband was giving him some money without me knowing about it, he’s always been a big softie and he and my son are really close which I find Wonderfull, but if he’s really giving him an allowance I would be really mad as he knows this is are ground rule we gave all our kid when they turned 18. I pressed him one night and I was sure he was going to admit, and he did, but not to what thought. He wasn’t giving our son money, he has an OnlyFans.
Just to set the record I want to say that I believe I'm a cool mom, in the good and cringe way. My parents here are super strict and since I was was I kid I said to myself that if I ever had children of my own I wouldn’t raise them the way I was raised, I would give them the freedom to make their own choices, learn from their mistakes and always, always be on their side. And so I raised all my kids this way, I taught them well and I was also lucky to have wonderful children that never really gave me much trouble other than the usual. I let them go to parties, never block internet websites, and let them watch and play games with higher ratings, I let them find out the world and themselves at their own pace. I'm known as the cool mom among my kid’s friends and I'm glad I am, I think I raised them all right. This is my youngest kid and also the youngest to have sex, he was barely 16 years old when he asked his father for condoms and in a way permission to do it, like I said I'm glad he’s open with his dad about this sort of thing, and we were both ok with it and glad he came to his dad for advice and all.
He’s definitely my prettiest kid, of course, I’ll never tell the others but I'm sure they know, they even joke about it saying I saved the best for last lol. He’s handsome, built, always loves exercising and working out, and also, and this might sound weird coming from me but it’s just a fact, he’s pretty hung. We live in a warm tropical city so he’s at home normally wearing just shorts or at the beach and it’s pretty obvious he has a sizable bulge, but I never stopped to think about it. It was only last year when he was back home for the first time that I opened a package for my husband thinking it was a purchase I made in his account and it turned out they were condoms from a weird brand I’ve never seen… I asked him about it and he just blushed a bit as he explained that the condoms he normally buys for our soon don’t fit him well because of his size, so he buys him condoms from a special brand online that makes larger sizes, didn’t even knew that existed lol so yeah, we just joked about it no big deal but apparently he’s pretty endowed and is showing that off on the Internet for whoever gives him money.
As I said, I try to be cool about this stuff, I’ve been his age and I know how it is, I don’t have problems with his dad buying him condoms, he going out on the weekends, and coming back late or even bringing girls over, but I have to cross the line at being a porn star or whatever it’s called on OnlyFans. I was pretty mad when he told me, not only at my son but also with my husband who knew that for months and not only didn’t tell me but allowed him to do this nonsense. He explained that he didn’t tell me because he knew I would react like I am right now and that he also disapproves a lot, but he can’t control him because he’s an adult and should make his own choices, he told me when he argued with our son about this months ago he argues that we told him he should make money on his own, and that’s what he’s doing, can’t argue with that… but also can’t accept my son selling nudes online! I was pretty mad and my husband calmed me down before we three sat down and talked about it.
I wanted to understand his side, even though I knew I could never accept that. He didn’t seem surprised or embarrassed about it, but honestly, he always had a huge self-confidence, he just explained that a girl he met in college before he left did a side gig and was able to make around 500 bucks every month just posting a pic every other day. He agreed to post one with her and he said it was pretty successful, apparently having a built body and a horse dick is easy money there as she said to him he could make decent cash just posting a nude every day, and that’s what he’s been doing and it's making around 1.5/2k every month, I couldn’t believe that but he showed me the bank statement. He said he’s growing on the platform and it's been liking it because it's easy and he pretty much just does what he used to do, taking nudes, but now posting them online. He seemed pretty chill and proud about it, but I was on the edge the whole time with my husband pinching my leg. My son isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, he has the looks and the body while his older brother and sister have the brains, but that doesn’t mean he’s stupid, when he’s excited about something he can become the best and he’ll go after it with tooth and nails I've seen it many times, he just needs to find a career he enjoys, and I'm really afraid this is the one he’s enjoying… I asked how long he thinks he’s going to do that and he said he was expecting to do it for a month or two and stop but the money is good and he said he’s been having fun so “who knows”, that’s when I couldn’t hold back anymore. I would be mad for one or 10 months as long as he stopped and went to school afterward but I'm afraid he wants to turn that into his career, and honestly, I don’t want my son to become a porn star, that’s it, I don’t want him to make a living off showing his big dick online.
I told him that and looking back I could have been more polite about it, it only lead to a big argument, he said he’s an adult and that we told him he should work for his money and that’s what he’s doing and I said that’s not work that just a weird kink he’s fulfilling, that no girl will ever wanna date him knowing what he does, doesn’t matter his pretty face, abs or big dick, he just got mad and went away. We haven’t seen each other in a couple of days now as he’s avoiding me. My husband, as the peacemaker of the house, as always bless his heart, talked with him and with me and we decided to talk about this for one last time tonight, I promised to hear him out and try to not judge or rashly out on him, but I already told him I'm not changing my mind, I will always love him, but ill never accept what he does for a living, if that what he wants to do for now on.
I’ve always thought I was a modern person open to the new without judging and all and this really hit me like a truck, I never ever thought I would have a kid selling dick pics online… and no matter the way I think about it I just can’t accept it, I really want somehow but I can’t, am I been the asshole here? Am I really out of line for not approving of my son in his new endeavor? Is my anger and disappointment justified? I can’t really talk about this with anyone as I don’t want people to know about this so I'm feeling lost in my head, am I wrong or is it my kid? Am I antiquated and should accept that he has a gift and he’s using it the way he finds the best? He’s an adult now and I can’t control his actions, but I can disapprove of them, am I right to disprove them? What would you do in my place? We’re going to meet tonight and I would love to see different points of view, I've been thinking about this all day and want to come to the meeting with an open mind and heart, and I think hearing you guys might help me be more flexible maybe? I don’t know… what you guys think?

This ended up bigger than I anticipated 😅
TL;DR: My 22-year-old son dropped out of college and it's been making good money on OnlyFans selling nudes. I'm not happy with this and I'm afraid if he continues he will want to make a career out of it. AITH for not liking and approving what he's doing?
Hello! Throwaway account since I know my kids use this app but defiantly not the same subs lol I’m a mom and My youngest son is 22 years old and just dropped out of his second college, he says he’s still trying to figure out what he wants to do and I'm glad that I'm able to support him while he looks for what he wants. I told him and my older kids when they were going through this many times that I and their father would always support them as long as they needed us, they would always have a roof over their heads, food, clothes, phone, the basics, but if they want money they either work for it or go to school, I’ll not give them an allowance for them to be home doing nothing, that’s the rule. While my son was in college both times not only did we pay for the tuition we also gave him an allowance so he could buy his things, go out on the weekends, and enjoy life, the moment he got home said he quit, and that he will take some time to figure out what’s next I told him he’s more than welcome here that this is always going to be his home but I will not give him his allowance anymore and only will give him the basic. This was a huge fight that me and his father stood our ground on as we told him that he knew this rule already and that if he wanted money he could get a job.
This was earlier this year, and now he’s still at our place, he sometimes visits a college and watches some classes but hasn’t signed up or made a decision, and he also hasn’t found a job, he spends the entire day working out in the gym or at his bedroom playing games or whatever, and on the weekends he’s out all the time. Like I said I don’t mind what he does, if he wants some time out is ok, but we won’t pay more than the basics for him. But I started noticing he’s buying new things, gym gear, expensive clothes, concert tickets… I started getting suspicious, I know he has some rich friends that pay for his parties on the weekends but not these other things, so I started suspecting my husband was giving him some money without me knowing about it, he’s always been a big softie and he and my son are really close which I find Wonderfull, but if he’s really giving him an allowance I would be really mad as he knows this is are ground rule we gave all our kid when they turned 18. I pressed him one night and I was sure he was going to admit, and he did, but not to what thought. He wasn’t giving our son money, he has an OnlyFans.
Just to set the record I want to say that I believe I'm a cool mom, in the good and cringe way. My parents here are super strict and since I was was I kid I said to myself that if I ever had children of my own I wouldn’t raise them the way I was raised, I would give them the freedom to make their own choices, learn from their mistakes and always, always be on their side. And so I raised all my kids this way, I taught them well and I was also lucky to have wonderful children that never really gave me much trouble other than the usual. I let them go to parties, never block internet websites, and let them watch and play games with higher ratings, I let them find out the world and themselves at their own pace. I'm known as the cool mom among my kid’s friends and I'm glad I am, I think I raised them all right. This is my youngest kid and also the youngest to have sex, he was barely 16 years old when he asked his father for condoms and in a way permission to do it, like I said I'm glad he’s open with his dad about this sort of thing, and we were both ok with it and glad he came to his dad for advice and all.
He’s definitely my prettiest kid, of course, I’ll never tell the others but I'm sure they know, they even joke about it saying I saved the best for last lol. He’s handsome, built, always loves exercising and working out, and also, and this might sound weird coming from me but it’s just a fact, he’s pretty hung. We live in a warm tropical city so he’s at home normally wearing just shorts or at the beach and it’s pretty obvious he has a sizable bulge, but I never stopped to think about it. It was only last year when he was back home for the first time that I opened a package for my husband thinking it was a purchase I made in his account and it turned out they were condoms from a weird brand I’ve never seen… I asked him about it and he just blushed a bit as he explained that the condoms he normally buys for our soon don’t fit him well because of his size, so he buys him condoms from a special brand online that makes larger sizes, didn’t even knew that existed lol so yeah, we just joked about it no big deal but apparently he’s pretty endowed and is showing that off on the Internet for whoever gives him money.
As I said, I try to be cool about this stuff, I’ve been his age and I know how it is, I don’t have problems with his dad buying him condoms, he going out on the weekends, and coming back late or even bringing girls over, but I have to cross the line at being a porn star or whatever it’s called on OnlyFans. I was pretty mad when he told me, not only at my son but also with my husband who knew that for months and not only didn’t tell me but allowed him to do this nonsense. He explained that he didn’t tell me because he knew I would react like I am right now and that he also disapproves a lot, but he can’t control him because he’s an adult and should make his own choices, he told me when he argued with our son about this months ago he argues that we told him he should make money on his own, and that’s what he’s doing, can’t argue with that… but also can’t accept my son selling nudes online! I was pretty mad and my husband calmed me down before we three sat down and talked about it.
I wanted to understand his side, even though I knew I could never accept that. He didn’t seem surprised or embarrassed about it, but honestly, he always had a huge self-confidence, he just explained that a girl he met in college before he left did a side gig and was able to make around 500 bucks every month just posting a pic every other day. He agreed to post one with her and he said it was pretty successful, apparently having a built body and a horse dick is easy money there as she said to him he could make decent cash just posting a nude every day, and that’s what he’s been doing and it's making around 1.5/2k every month, I couldn’t believe that but he showed me the bank statement. He said he’s growing on the platform and it's been liking it because it's easy and he pretty much just does what he used to do, taking nudes, but now posting them online. He seemed pretty chill and proud about it, but I was on the edge the whole time with my husband pinching my leg. My son isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, he has the looks and the body while his older brother and sister have the brains, but that doesn’t mean he’s stupid, when he’s excited about something he can become the best and he’ll go after it with tooth and nails I've seen it many times, he just needs to find a career he enjoys, and I'm really afraid this is the one he’s enjoying… I asked how long he thinks he’s going to do that and he said he was expecting to do it for a month or two and stop but the money is good and he said he’s been having fun so “who knows”, that’s when I couldn’t hold back anymore. I would be mad for one or 10 months as long as he stopped and went to school afterward but I'm afraid he wants to turn that into his career, and honestly, I don’t want my son to become a porn star, that’s it, I don’t want him to make a living off showing his big dick online.
I told him that and looking back I could have been more polite about it, it only lead to a big argument, he said he’s an adult and that we told him he should work for his money and that’s what he’s doing and I said that’s not work that just a weird kink he’s fulfilling, that no girl will ever wanna date him knowing what he does, doesn’t matter his pretty face, abs or big dick, he just got mad and went away. We haven’t seen each other in a couple of days now as he’s avoiding me. My husband, as the peacemaker of the house, as always bless his heart, talked with him and with me and we decided to talk about this for one last time tonight, I promised to hear him out and try to not judge or rashly out on him, but I already told him I'm not changing my mind, I will always love him, but ill never accept what he does for a living, if that what he wants to do for now on.
I’ve always thought I was a modern person open to the new without judging and all and this really hit me like a truck, I never ever thought I would have a kid selling dick pics online… and no matter the way I think about it I just can’t accept it, I really want somehow but I can’t, am I been the asshole here? Am I really out of line for not approving of my son in his new endeavor? Is my anger and disappointment justified? I can’t really talk about this with anyone as I don’t want people to know about this so I'm feeling lost in my head, am I wrong or is it my kid? Am I antiquated and should accept that he has a gift and he’s using it the way he finds the best? He’s an adult now and I can’t control his actions, but I can disapprove of them, am I right to disprove them? What would you do in my place? We’re going to meet tonight and I would love to see different points of view, I've been thinking about this all day and want to come to the meeting with an open mind and heart, and I think hearing you guys might help me be more flexible maybe? I don’t know… what you guys think?

the dream started with me, my mom and i think my aunt staying at a hotel. It was the day we had to leave, and mom brought way to much stuff, like basically her whole house. so me and my aunt had to pack all that stuff before we could go, then us three and some more people ended up back at my aunts old apartment. There was this guy there, i’m pretty sure his name was ben bc no other name feels right so i’m just going with that. Ben had brown scruffy hair, he was white, shorter then me (i’m like 5’10) but we could’ve also been younger in this dream so i’m not sure but ik he was shorter lol but anyway i also know that for some reason when he showed me on a map it seem like we were in new york and he lived in canada but was born in australia (i don’t remember an accent so i think he probably grew up there maybe?) i’ve never been to new york and my aunts old apartment is definitely not there lol so honestly idk where we were. Me and ben quickly fell for each other pretty hard (i’ve never felt like that in real life but I’m also only 18 so give me a break lol) but it seemed like everywhere in the apartment we just could not get alone time, and when my mom showed up she made like a snippy comment about something in front of everyone so i made one back and it made her stop, no idea what is was but it obviously brought the vibe down. My mom was very obviously disapproving of ben for whatever reason, and eventually embarrassed me by going full nude (she’s a nudist in real life) in front of him and i had to cover his eyes when he came around the corner and walk away but he was chill about it and calmed my worries. The dream ended with me and ben roller skating down the city streets (i’ve never roller skated except once unsuccessfully when i was 5) along side my grumpy mom walking with some other people that i don’t remember. But i subconsciously adjusted my body in my sleep and that was what woke me up. sooo what does all that mean? lol thanks for reading

E (M34) and I (F33) have been together for 1 year, a few days short of a month I was at work when I received a message. A woman I'd never heard of before introduced herself as E's friend and said she had a few questions for me. I agreed and stepped outside, I spent the next 40 minutes learning that before me, E and L (F37) had been seeing each other regularly but that she ended things for personal reasons after almost a year. I learned later that the personal reason was her husband. She learned about me through Facebook, once I was listed as the girlfriend but she stated that even after that point they had stayed in contact and texted almost daily. She went on about how much he still begged for her time and that the previous day she went to his job and they made out. He called it a good bye kiss. I knew I should've walked away but I hoped and tried to trust that it was just a crazy ex not willing to let him go. He never blocked her, by the way, because he "doesn't even know how to block people". I had to block her.
About two months later, I was going through his phone while he slept (I consider the privacy factor gone, you cheated and still want to keep me around? That means I get access to the phone. Him being asleep just simplified things lol). Something told me to check his archives and sure enough I found a message from around the time he meet me of a woman letting him know she was pregnant. His response was what did that have to do with him. She kept reassuring him that he was the father yet his answer was to block her on everything. Ive kept up with her on social media and the baby looks just like him. Don't ask me why I keep up with it, at this point I'm obsessed, just being honest.
I also found that he keeps a folder with every nude he has ever received almost since he was in high-school and I also found nudes of all his exs, some even saved as favorites. Plenty of videos too, it goes on and on. Women of all shapes and sizes, young and old. He has confessed to having a thing for beat up, crack head looking women...he says it's a turn on. The "mother" of his maybe baby has no teeth and looks 50 despite being 34 so she fits the criteria.
Moving on to snapchat I also found that he kept in touch with many women until about the two month mark. He says he was just letting those conversations die down slowly.
Despite all of this and more - haven't talked about how he isn't emotionally safe because anytime I bring it up I'm told I'm not logical like him and need to stop living in the past, I've stayed.
I've had issues with my family growing up, was always considered the outcast and because I'm the daughter of the worthless piece of shit my mom dated before she got back with her first boyfriend who is also now her husband I was never really included. Getting molested by one of her boyfriends at 6 didn't help because once I spoke out about it my family all agreed I made it up. I was a full mastermind of the family "drama" at the ripe age of 6....
I was talking to him about my family drama and how it made me feel when he went on a rant about how the little girl in me is so desperate for love I bend backwards for my mothets love. This conversation came after I had to essentially trick my mom so she'd make it on time to an expensive restaurant I made a reservation at for her, my step-dad, my daughter and I. She still arrived an hour late after I lied about the time the reservation was for. He went on to say that I needed to heal that part of me that always seeked her approval. That I was stuck as that little girl begging for an ounce of love, an ounce of affection.
And it hit me, he's right. I am that little girl still and that's why I think I've stayed with him. I just want to be good enough, I just want to be loved, I just want to matter. I wanted someone who would laugh at the though of their ex showing up at their job to be comforted. I wanted someone honest who would love me the way I love them. Also did I mention he lives two hours away so im in constant anxiety about what he's doing?
Last weekend I refused to head over to his parents (he lives with them), I was tired and drained and im tired of playing happy little girlfriend when no one has any idea the trauma he's put me through. It's Friday again and he'd like an answer on what we still are. I brought up the whole maybe baby, honestly to see if he still lied about the facts I knew and his response was "what are you accomplishing by bringing this up? I feel like you're only judging me." I admitted I was, if he was so sure it's not his why block her? Also he suddenly learned how to block? Interesting. The conversation ended because I had to go back to work.
I've booked a therapist through my job, its been suggested many times and even my few intimate coworkers whome I've confided in are telling me that I'm blind for not seeing what I'm worth and that the sooner I end this the sooner I can find someone who will give me all the love I desire or at least I can get to a point I can heal. I have an 8 year old and I know I need to set an example but damn it, I just want to hold him and make my brain forget all the pain. I so desperately wanted this to be it....
Why am I still here? Why can't I love myself enough to let go? I feel very lost. I know what I need to do but I just don't want to do it....

I’ll always feel guilty for the loss of a potential family, but I desperately want this man off my mind. I don’t even know where to begin. I just have a lot to say and no one who really has the time to listen. I’ll try to stay vague but our social circles don’t really intermingle and I don’t think I know anyone on here in real life. I can barely remember specific moments or map together periods of time cohesively but I’ll try my best. I used bullet points on my notes app to try to organize the important parts. So if it reads weird or blocky, I apologize.
I hate to admit that I think I still love my baby’s father. That may not even be true. I’m hoping it’s just the drastic hormone changes after having a baby. I don’t want to reconcile or get back together, I just want a genuine opinion from anyone that bothers to read the entire thing or advise from anyone that may have been in a similar situation. It was a very toxic and abusive relationship due to both parties. I toyed with his feelings until it was too late and he would drink and get physical. I was always accusing him of cheating or wanting to cheat because my ex had cheated. Meanwhile I was in fact projecting in a way because I was still messaging said ex. Ex and I were friends before we had dated and were together for 2 years. He had cheated on his other relationships so I should have seen it coming, but he ended up trying to cheat on me and I ended things. I was 19-20 at the time and joined tinder. Experimented a little but ended up hooking up with a guy that had a crush on me in HS. We only hooked up 2-3 times but it started getting weird and I chickened out. Then I got an apartment and a better job and started casually hooking up with the ex again. I think he had a gf at this time but I didn’t ask. At the new job is where I met BD. He started a few weeks after me. I was 20 and he was 28 at the time. We started hanging out after work to smoke. It’s not something I would normally do with just one person and he wasn’t really my type. But the hangouts got longer and more frequent. And I ended up cutting the ex off again. A couple months in, I moved in way too soon because my roommate and I didn’t get along. My ex would still message me occasionally for some reason. He definitely had a gf at this time. Some would be nudes. I didn’t encourage the behavior but I also didn’t discourage it. Bd saw the messages while we were on vacation and was understandably upset. I was upset with myself for responding. I justified it to myself by claiming I was trying to waste his time. In reality he was wasting mine and not suffering in the slightest. There couldn’t have been a worse moment for him to find the messages. The week was supposed to be a huge step in our relationship and I could see how crushed he was. If I were him I would have left me in the hotel states away and gone home that morning. The whole ride home I was sick. I couldn’t imagine how he was feeling, over something I so easily could have avoided and someone I had no interest in romantically or sexually anymore. I believe this is the first time Things got physical but as I said, the timeline is super blurry now. Regardless, if it was the first time, it should’ve been the last. No one should put up with being hit. And No one should feel that their only option is to put their hands on someone. This was when we were finally getting back to his house in our own state. He had picked up a few beers before hand, and that was generally his fuel to either argue or get violent. He had slapped me, choked me and spit in my face, all to which I gave him no reaction. I just sat on the bed silently, or tried to lock myself in the bathroom. He would walk away to smoke a cigarette and immediately come back to fight some more. He told me to pack up my shit but got more pissed off when he came inside to see me packing up my shit. I eventually got a few things packed up and made it to my grandmas’s house. We both calmed down and after a few calls and texts. he wanted to see where I was staying. I picked him up and brought him to my grandma‘s house. (Note: I should probably add that right before we got together. He got in a car accident that totally totaled his car and got a DUI. Since then I had been his ride and always joked That that’s all he kept me around for) We arrived at my grandma’s house, where she had a guestroom ready for me. He just sat on the bed with his head down and cried. He said that it looked like it was so easy for me to move on without him. Looking back, this should’ve been another red flag. All I had was a place to stay after being kicked out. He couldn’t accept that I would land on my feet without him. Most of my belongings were still at his house, and I didn’t want to burden my grandmother any further So I ended up going back with him. At this time I was still apologizing to him for what I had done and how I had made him react. One night after an argument, and a rough day in general. He walked out to grab a case of beer from the gas station and didn’t come back for hours. When I finally went out looking for him, he was at the spot that we had first kissed. There He told me I was holding him back From what he envisioned for his future. It was a lot more drawn out, less cohesive and not so nice (he had been well into his beer by then) but that was the gist of it. One of my biggest fears is being a burden, or anyone holding some secret resentment towards me. Him drinking only let me know how he truly felt and how he wanted to react. I could never put the same effort into the relationship after that. I felt like it was already over and had been over for a long time. A while later, he had seen that my ex reached out again nothing flirtatious this time, but he was still upset, understandably. He got violent again, and I locked myself in the bathroom. He took my keys and my phone and said he was going to go find him. I packed up a few things again and tried to walk over to my dad‘s house. His mission was futile and he ended up finding me walking and brought me back home. The whole night was tense and I didn’t feel safe in the morning before he woke up. I started quietly packing up my things. He woke up and immediately flew into a rage and started dumping my things out onto the ground. I called my mom to help me get out all the big things because I wanted to be all out in one trip. As I was leaving, he was screaming at my mother and I about how much a piece of shit I was, but was right back to begging for me back as soon as I was down the road. This was a reoccurring cycle for us. I’d always keep my phone and keys together in a designated spot in the house so I could get them quickly if I needed to leave. The ex no longer reached out, but we were both still suspicious of one another. Sometimes I would be gone for days sometimes weeks my belongings no longer came back because it didn’t feel like home anymore. It didn’t Feel like a safe or stable place for me. This also made him upset. Every time I would leave we would still text every day. It was an extremely toxic situation. During one period of time that i was gone He had one of our coworkers over for about a week sleeping in my bed with my cats. Throughout our entire relationship and our brakes I never met up with another person. I did leave so I didn’t have the right to be too upset. But He wasted no time having her over for an extended period of time while still begging for me to come back every day. Then I had to coax this information out of him after finding her clothes all over the house. I couldn’t get over the feeling that he had her and others lined up for when I was gone and him wanting me back meant nothing. By this time the dude I had gone to school/hooked up with had started at our job (This would seem like a cruel joke but we were in the same trade and this was one of the only decent jobs in our town.) I guess we had had a silent mutual agreement to keep out past between us because they became friends. Well, After finding out about his coworker, I told him about mine. It didn’t matter that the dates didn’t overlap. He went nutts. I don’t remember exactly how it all went down after that, but I left of course and he ended up going to this 20 year olds apartment. His roommate answered and BD demanded to know where this dude was and ends up slapping the roommate. (I have no idea why I kept going back. Typing this out, I feel so stupid. He was clearly fucking crazy and my brain was telling me to get the fuck out.) I was already suspicious of him because of how we both acted before we got together, but all of this just made it so much worse. I wanted to know why he felt the need to intimidate me into staying with him and calling it “crazy love” when he could so easily move on and leave me alone. (Why did infidelity have to be the dealbreaker and not everything else?) Bringing up my suspicions or insecurities, just made him defensive and occasionally violent. I never got any reassurance and my reasons for staying were few and far between. Then we found out I was pregnant. We found out when I was about seven weeks pregnant. The last time we had gotten into a physical fight I had been about 4 to 5 weeks pregnant. I was scared. Bd seemed happy. He said he wanted to be a family. Over the next few weeks, I was having extremely bad morning sickness I was in and out of the hospital on an IV for fluids and couldn’t leave our bedroom or bathroom. I still had to drive him to and from work which was only about 30 min round trip but I’d always have to stop on the side of the road to puke. (Note: There were five cats living in this house that I was Feeding and cleaning up after. We inherited two from the homeowner and three were ours) The house started to smell because I could no longer keep up with the cats, and this just made my morning sickness even worse. On top of this, I was having extremely bad back pain that I thought was just a symptom of pregnancy. After one of my trips to the hospital for fluids, they informed me that I had a UTI. I was about 10-11 weeks pregnant by then. I tried to tell him that I needed help with the house and that it was making me miserable. He just expressed that I would be complaining regardless. Whether it be about him spending enough time with me, helping clean, or working. This wasn’t even the worst of the treatment that I had received, but being pregnant, This was the last straw. I knew I couldn’t bring a baby into the abusive cycle that we were putting each other through. I don’t remember exactly how it happened. At this point I was looking for any reason to leave. But it happened and again I started packing up my shit. This time he barely put up a fight. He tried to dump my stuff out on the floor once, but I said if he tried to put his hands on me, I’d call the police this time. He sat in the kitchen on his phone until I was done packing. As I was carrying my belongings out to my car still weak and sick, we were screaming back-and-forth about how much we hated each other, and how I would never give him the chance to put his hands on my child. He shouted that he didn’t think the baby was even his, to which I replied, “Good, then I’ll never have to fight you in court”. That was our last face to face interaction. I filed for a civil protection order. It’s been about a year and since then, he has been claiming to his coworkers and his mother that my ex is the father. His mother doesn’t seem to believe him as she had kept in contact with me throughout my pregnancy, and since the baby’s been born. She requests a paternity test just to be sure, but I have no doubts that the baby is his. I am almost positive that he knows the baby is his too. His claims of me cheating are only his way of justifying me leaving and making it my fault. I sent her the information to reach out for a paternity test, but she hasn’t shown me any indication that he wants to be part of the baby’s life. Any time she brings up the situation to him, he gets angry with her and hangs up. I don’t know what’s going on in his life and I don’t want to. I’d only obsess over it and make myself upset if I did. I assume he’s living his dream and chasing his goals without me there to hold him back, especially with a child. Even after typing all this out and rereading and editing, I still miss him. I shouldn’t. I can’t tell if it’s the cycle calling me back or the drastic changes in hormones. I can’t even think of a reason that I should miss him. I don’t even think I miss him, just his presence or energy? It’s so hard to explain and I don’t want to feel this way. I have nightmares about trying to get away from him and out of the house but try to force myself back into the same dream just so I can see him. Is this normal? Do any other moms feel this way? Only attracted to the baby’s father even while split up? I have no sex drive when I used to be a fiend. I heard this can be a side-effect of the drastic hormone changes, but I don’t even feel an attraction anymore. Unless they’re a very specific type (My BD). I have no desire to move on or find a romantic connection. I do more harm than good and I’d rather focus on being a mom (which I’m loving aside from this issue).I know there’s no way of going back even if I wanted to. The damage has been more than done. I just want to make moving on easier and forget him. Do I just have to wait?

Let me give some context.
My younger sister, we'll call her Becky, and I have always been decently close. We got along but would bicker, as all siblings do. Recently, like within the past year, she has become a completely different person. She's three years younger than me and super athletic, while I'm more, I guess what you'd call "nerdy" (theatre kid, straight A's, D&D, etc). So I guess she has this superiority thing over me, which I just don't understand, but that isn't the point of this. She constantly makes fun of the way I look (my weight, my appearance, etc) and sometimes even hits me for fun. I struggled with an ED for a few years and she makes fun of me for it, claiming it "didn't stick".....yeah.
So recently, my family has kind of been going through it. My mom has breast cancer, recently diagnosed, and my uncle just had a heartattack. On top of this, my dad also struggles with blood pressure related issues and can't be put under a lot of stress. Yeah, we don't have the greatest luck.
Now, another thing about Becky is that she's decently spoiled. My dad definitely spoils her and let's her get away with stuff. Now, I don't really care about this, as I know he loves me to, but this gets me to my point.
My sister does sneaky shit (vaping underage, sending nudes, pregnancy scares, etc) and she gets in trouble for it. She'll be talked to, sometimes yelled at (not the greatest), grounded, and normally have her phone taken away.
A few days ago was my best friend's birthday. We were going out that night and after I had picked my sister up from her soccer, I started to get ready. I heard her on the phone with my parents, the three of them arguing, but I left it alone and went to change. I heard her in the bathroom and just assumed she was showering and let her be.
All of a sudden, an ambulance and four police cars pulled up outside of my house (my bedroom window faces the front of the house). At first, I thought it was my next door neighbor because they've called them before for their son. I then realized they were walking towards my front door.
!TW HERE FOR SELF HARM!
I heard my sister run down my stairs and go out the front door and obviously I followed her. As I got out the door, I see her sitting on the steps, sobbing, with dozens of cuts across her thighs. A police officer and two paramedics were with her and just then my parents got home (they were visiting my uncle all day).
So my parents get home, my mom is sobbing, my dad is confused, and I'm just in shock. The police are keeping my parents away and the paramedics load mt sister onto a stretcher and take her to the ambulance, not before her saying that she "doesn't want mom to come".
A police officer takes down mine and my mom's contact info and my mom and dad head to the hospital while I stay at home. Eventually, everyone leaves and I'm on my porch, alone, half way ready for what was supposed to be a fun night, and a towel soaked in my sister's blood at my feet.
Yeah, not fun.
I ended up going out anyway that night, partially cause I still wanted to and partially because I needed a distraction. That takes us to today. My sister ended up coming home a day after the incident, which was a few days ago, but I haven't really talked to her since. I don't know what to say.
I'm worried about her, and I love her very much, but she's also been unbelievable horrible to me and my mom. It's horrible that this has happened, but for some reason I'm more annoyed at her. Is that bad? Am I just in shock and unable to process my feelings? Should I be doing more to help her?
If anyone has any advice or has experienced something similar, please share. I feel so alone in this.

My mom asked me to help her find skincare and makeup products. I'm okay for skincare because that's basically my hobby, but I'm not super knowledgeable about makeup (especially for more mature skin).
I'm concerned that I didn't recommend primers that'll go well with the foundations
I wanted to give her options but only added things I've tried or were suggested specifically for mature skin.
Foundation (match your neck, not face): - L’Oréal Paris True Match Nude Tinted Serum with 1% Hyaluronic Acid - L’Oréal Paris Infallible 24H Fresh Wear Foundation
Concealer (1-2 shades lighter than your skin/foundation): - NYX Professional Makeup Bare With Me Concealer Serum - E.L.F. Cosmetics 16HR Camo Concealer - OR the hydrating version
Mascara: - L’Oréal Paris Double Extend Beauty Tube Mascara
Eye shadow: I don't know much about this. I always go with a neutral nude palette. I usually get mine from places like Winners - Someone said the Maybelline NYC one is good - I trust E.L.F. products in general. They might have good palletes
Blush: - E.L.F. Cosmetics Halo Glow Blush Beauty Wand - if you want dewy (I have one you can try) - E.L.F. Cosmetics Camo Liquid Blush
Setting Spray: - NYX Professional Setting Spray, Long Lasting, Dewy Finish - E.L.F. Cosmetics Matte Magic Mist & Set
Primer: - E.L.F. Cosmetics Power Grip Primer
Bonus: powder for any areas you think will need to hold longer. Optional - E.L.F. Cosmetics Halo Glow Setting Powder - using a "powder puff" is recommended for loose powder