Jean michel jarre midi files

Jean Michel Jarre

2014.12.17 14:55 aarol01 Jean Michel Jarre

This is where you can discuss Jean Michel Jarre, his music and other stuff related to him
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2016.07.19 00:32 TEKrific MontaigneHebdomadaire

Weekly Montaigne Quotes for your delectation and consideration.
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2010.04.09 05:04 roger_ Ambient music

A subreddit for fans of ambient music and all its sub-genres.
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2024.05.19 09:29 Secret-Tomatillo5044 I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web pt1

I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web
Man, I am pumped to tell you chronically online content addicts my story. Wait is that too mean of an intro? Will this get taken down for harassment since I painted too accurate a picture of the people on this site? Sorry, everyone, I’m sure you all smell like an expensive bakery and have touched grass this morning. Anyway, I promise I have something interesting. It even involves the dark web you uncreative writers cream yourselves over! I mean, totally real people speaking about their strangely similar experiences. Okay, fine I’ll stop bullying you through the screen before you click off.
This all started when I was seven years old and my parents were killed in front of me in an anti-indigenous hate crime, but let's be real you don’t care. I’m just some annoying Cherokee kid with dead parents so I’ll skip to the good parts. I spent years in an orphanage, gradually becoming more interested in death and violence. As bad as it is, I went out of my way to expose myself to that content in the hopes of desensitizing myself. Which ended up working too well, since now I’m obsessed with causing and viewing pain, though I don’t find any joy in hurting myself.
I got adopted at twelve and after a few months of staying at my new family’s home on the reservation, I went with them to a state sweatier than the average Reddit user, California. Long story short, both of my caretakers, whom I referred to as Uncle and Auntie because they could never be my parents, died. Leaving me in the care of their older son, who I call cousin. I’m not stupid enough to give up any real names, so I’ll call him Brick, cause he’s as dumb as one. He was in his early 20s when he was tasked with taking care of me and is the world’s worst excuse for a babysitter.
I’m almost always alone at the apartment, with him only coming by to drop off supplies and stay for a few hours so the neighbors don’t get too worried. Unless I get in trouble at school, then he’d suddenly give a shit. It's useful because he doesn't about the gory stuff I look at, but some display of interest would be nice. Oh well, ninety percent of the population sucks so he’s just part of the majority. Now, with that said, you’ll be able to understand the perfect storm that led me here. During my time on the deep web, I found a particular website that caught my eye. They had new footage relatively consistently and they were the easiest for me to access since I didn't go too far into the dark web, especially with all the honey pots lying around.
I even bought a couple of files for myself to study and admire. One thing irritated me though, the cameraman. He was always sobbing, breathing, shaking, or some combination of those. It seriously killed the vibe of the killings. Something I commented on under many videos, often saying I would do a better job filming. A choice that in hindsight was me asking to end up in one of those recordings. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was mostly the only one who commented but I was sure they wouldn't care. I was embarrassingly wrong.
I was staying up like usual, but it was past one AM on a school night, and back then that was a lot so I tried to sleep. Closing my eyes, tossing and turning, the works. I had just started drifting off when I heard the front door open. I remained calm but immediately found it weird since Brick never showed up this late. The thuds of the individual's feet grew louder as they got closer to my bedroom. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a stranger, especially since they got in with ease, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
They hummed as they opened my door. My dumbass had left it unlocked. I remained on my side, trying to look like I was asleep. They turned on the flashlight of their phone, shining it in my face. It was hard but I stayed still while they traced it over my features. I could tell they were smiling as they clicked their tongue.
“Heh, I knew it was a brat,” they whispered to themselves, pulling tangles out of my hair. Something I struggled not to groan from. They pulled up the hair over my ear and got so close spit got on my ear lobe.
“I know you’re awake kid,” they murmured, putting a blade to my neck. I let them grab my shoulder and move me onto my back, I knew how to fight but I wasn't about to take that big a risk with the position they had me in.
“You think you’re so cool saying you can do better than our guy.” they snickered, kneeling, their flashlight still shining in my face.
“Do you seriously believe that?” they questioned, moving the light away.
“Yeah, I do.” I stood my ground, they might have been intimidating but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from being honest.
“I wouldn't sound like I’m gonna piss myself every time it gets gory. I’m confident I could get better footage too, getting up close is something I’ve fantasized about.”
They clicked their tongue again and ran their finger over the bridge of my nose.
”Well, I know you’re a big fan of what we do, and you’re confidence makes me think you got something to back those claims up, so how’d you like a deal?”
I was surprised by how civil they were being aside from the touching and weapon against my throat.
“What kind of deal?” I asked, for all I knew this guy wanted me to lick their feet or some weird shit like that. They placed a finger underneath my eye, tracing a half moon with their nail.
“You have till this Friday to film a video of you killing an animal and put it on a flash drive that I’ll pick up here. If it impresses me and the crew we’ll hire ya with a handsome salary.” They began, moving their hand down to my cheek.
“But if you don't show, or it doesn't meet our standards, then I’m fucking up one of the parts of your face.” They warned, pinching my skin harshly.
“And if I say no to this deal?”
They put their hand over my mouth, scratching my lips.
“That’s cute, if you say no I’ll just slit your throat.” they grinned.
“Or rip it open with my teeth if you got a preference,” they smirked, before running their tongue across their sharp teeth.
“Okay, since I have no choice I’ll go with it, but I’m telling you now I can give you something way better than what you likely expect of me.” I prefaced, looking into their sunken eyes. They scratched my scalp, including the side of my head that was shaved.
“Good choice, I’ll be back to pick it up and if you're not here I’ll assume you don’t have the video. I genuinely wish you luck, because you’ll need it.” they removed the blade from my neck and walked away. I sat still for a few minutes in the dark, processing what had happened and wondering how they got into my apartment with such ease. I was confident I could blow their sniveling excuse of a cameraman out of the water, but I was worried about the people I was getting caught up with.
Sure, I had been on a lot of gore sites over the years but I was always just watching and occasionally commenting. Compared to most in the scene I wasn't much of a threat. I could defend myself and have contemplated killing for years but I hadn't murdered anyone or worse. Plus, I am part of way too many targeted groups to not be constantly at risk. Teenage, fem-leaning, two-spirit, indigenous kid with trauma? Yeah, I might as well be walking sign screaming “Hate crime me”.
So yeah, there was a lot to worry about. Regardless, I couldn't let that fear hold me back. I had a job to do and a group of sickos to appease. The next morning was rough, I got no sleep cause I’d spent all night brainstorming. I barely mustered the energy to change and drank straight mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth. Slogging onto the bus with drool on my cheek, I went to the back like usual. No one sat there cause, the seats were extra worn down, and I scared off anyone who attempted to with my active, rabies-infected bitch face. That day was different though.
I blanked on his name and where I knew him from, but I recognized his wavy hair and prominent curved nose. He glanced at each seat on the bus, before somehow settling on my area. He tried to give me space but ultimately seated himself beside me after realizing it was the only spot that didn't look like it would give him cancer. I glared at him as I did with everyone, but it didn't phase him.
“You know you could pick anywhere else right?” I murmured. He stared at the floor, then at me.
“I’m aware, but a few months ago I started a mission to sit on every part of this bus, and this is the last place.” he smiled, his lips softly curving at the sides.
“What’s the point of that?”
His mouth moved into a more neutral position, but his eyes kept smiling.
“I just thought it would be neat to see the same place from a bunch of different perspectives.” he took out his phone and snapped a photo from the point of view where he was sitting. Maybe my sleepiness made my bitch face less effective, cause he hadn't shown a hint of fear, which kind of annoyed me.
“That’s cool I guess, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. I’ve done some back here alone that would make your skin crawl.” in hindsight my attempt at unnerving him just made me sound like a pervert, which is probably why he held back laughter. Trying to hide a chuckle by clearing his throat.
“Hey, it's not my business what you do, no matter how Haram it is. It’s your life so that’s between you and whatever you believe in. Just don’t shake hands with me.” he joked, playfully putting his hands up. Strangely, I remembered his name at that moment.
“Oh shit, you’re Abdul! We have art together.” I sat up, haphazardly slamming my hand down on my leg.
“Uh yeah, I’ve seen some of your paintings, they’re pretty cool. I like the way you texture them, I’m trying to work on that.” he complimented, seeming more weirded out by my sudden energy than my accidental insinuation. I felt a little stupid for yelling his name but decided not to dwell on it.
“Thanks, you’re stuff is nice, and you’re good at shading.”
He stretched his arms while thanking me. We talked for a few more minutes, taking jabs at each other throughout. Turns out he was better at being an asshole than his artsy charismatic appearance made me think. The thing setting our insults apart being that you could tell he was a loving person underneath. It was the nicest conversation I had with anyone in a while. Though he could tell I was tired so he quieted down, letting me sleep, waking me when we got to school. We went our separate ways until the last two periods we shared. All that time, I spent my remaining energy plotting how I was going to handle the video. What I’d kill, record with, and how to dispose of the evidence. It was a lot to consider, but through three classes I devised a plan.
I’d find a stray around my apartment complex and take it out in my room. Record it on a portable camera since I broke the ones on my phone, no, I will not be answering how that happened. Then once I had my footage I’d put the body in a trash bag, throw it in the complex’s garbage, and clean the blood off my floor. It didn't seem like Brick would come by so he wasn't a factor I thought I’d have to consider. The plan was almost too easy, but I decided to believe in Occam’s razor. I got so lost in thought that by the time I reached Art, which was my second-to-last period, I didn't process that we were moving seats.
“She called your name,” Abdul reminded me. Our teacher placed us next to each other at our four-person table. The two girls sitting with us were already friends, so I didn't bother to say anything, but I was interested in talking to him more.
“So, what do you think of this assignment?” He shrugged, taking out his sketchbook.
“I’m not that good at drawing people, but the idea of combining two people’s faces into a portrait seems interesting. Any ideas on who you’ll pick?”
“Probably the members of the music duo Brain Tumor, they’re my favorite artists and they both look weird as hell.”
“Wow way to talk about your favorites, if that’s what you say about them I can‘t imagine what you have to say about me.” he joked, pulling up reference pictures.
“First, it’s not an insult, second I don’t have anything to say about you. Brain and Tumor have features and styles that make them stand out. Sure they’re ugly, but it just adds to their visual charm. Hot people are boring, there’s nothing to pick at.” I explained, unzipping my bag.
“Oh, so you’re saying you think I’m hot.”
His comment wasn’t serious but it kind of got to me.
“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say you’re boring. All hot people are boring, but not all boring people are hot, okay?” I explained, flipping to a clean page.
“Alright, but if I’m so bland then why talk to me?”
I hesitated, contemplating how much of a dick I was gonna be.
“Because it means you probably need some spice in your life, which I can provide.”
He began sketching a head on his paper.
“I like spices, but I feel like you’re the kind of person to dump a cabinet’s worth onto me.”
I flicked my pencil over to his side of the desk, putting on a mocking grin.
“Aww, you scared I’m gonna get you into trouble?”
He picked up the pencil and started using it, putting his on my side.
“No, ‘cause I’m good at setting boundaries. I’m more concerned that you’ll get annoyed with how unafraid of you I am.”
I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't expected to hear that.
“Jeez, man you didn't have to read me like that.”
He shrugged, observing the red paint from past projects that lay on my pencil.
“It's not hard to figure out, just this morning you were trying to push me away on the bus. Lucky, or unlucky, for you I want you to have a friend and you seem like a fun person.”
“Wait are you saying I have no friends?” I squinted at him.
“Well, do you?”
I didn't answer.
“If your response is silence I suggest you take up my offer.”
I was stunned, to be honest. No one had offered to be my friend since 6th grade, and that didn't last long. Of course, I accepted it, but for the rest of the period, there was an awkwardness in my mind. As pathetic as it sounds I wasn't used to others genuinely enjoying my company like he did. Which was partly by design cause I get joy out of scaring people away, but still. I forgot how it felt to have conversations about normal things like art. He had such a nice smile too, usually when I see a grin I want to slap it off, but I liked his. His voice was also nice, it’s hard to describe what in particular but it was easy on the ears.
Okay, I’m starting to get off-topic. I’ll skip to the important part. Toward the end of class, he started talking about how he was interested in filmmaking and got a portable video camera as a gift at last year’s Eid. He didn't have it on him, but he showed me a picture.
“Heh, that’s funny, I bought the same one a month ago.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, it's a popular model, I’m still getting the hang of it though cause I’m so used to using my phone.”
“Well, maybe I could bring you over to my place or vice versa after school and I can help you out.” I suggested.
He smiled, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“I thought you said you’ve only had it for a month? You know I can always look up tutorials from trained professionals.” he reminded me with a notable smugness that I'd used with him before.
“Well those guys are stuffy and I’m a fast learner.”
He redirected his attention back to his page, picking his pencil up.
“Alright, I suggest we go somewhere public instead. You’re not exactly the kind of person I want to bring home to my parents right away. Plus they always need to meet my friends and their guardians before I hang out at their home.”
I gave an exaggerated sigh, stretching my back.
“Aw man, looks like we can’t get high in my murder pit during our first hangout.”
He didn't respond for a solid few seconds.
“Wait, you do know I'm joking right?”
He shrugged, the smile in his eyes appearing again.
“I mean, one of those things is a little less believable than the other.” he snickered, and I laughed with him.
We set up a time and a date, which is where I screwed myself. He ended up being busy with projects from his other classes and family which just left us with Friday, the same day I had to submit the video. Now, did I tell him I wouldn't be able to make it? No, of course not, because I decided to be stupid and even more overconfident. I said that I’d one hundred percent be able to hang out with him after school like I didn't have a mutilator who was going to drop by my place at an unknown time.
The rest of the day went over fine but that bad timing led me to feel like a dick later. When I got home I was able to write out my plan, even sketching a few specifics of what I’d do. It was more exciting than when I’d been brainstorming, but this is when the gravity of the situation began to set in. When I said I’d fantasized about killings I meant it. I mean my teddy with twenty-five stab wounds should say enough. Regardless this would be the first time real blood was on my hands.
It made me feel powerful, but a little afraid. I’ve heard stories of people thinking that it would be an awesome experience and then feeling like shit. I doubted I’d be one of those people but still. Plus, I didn't exactly trust the guy who gave me this job. There was a good chance that this whole situation was rigged and they’d kill me no matter how good the video was. Or worse turn me into the feds and expose my collection. Honestly, if that happened I’d probably eat a shot to avoid going to jail. Wait, can I say that on this platform? Okay to the mods, that was a joke, I want to live a long life. Ugh, I’m doing a terrible job of staying on track. The point is there was a lot up in the air despite it being a matter of life or death.
I knew I’d go through with it but it was still a lot less straightforward than it initially seemed. I wracked my brain to remember where most of the cats stayed and tried to come up with a good way to lure one without raising suspicion. This also proved harder than first thought because I didn't think to account for the cat man, an old guy who lived alone and fed all the cats in our dingy complex while also housing a few. Knowing how obsessive he was he’d probably notice if one of them disappeared. Then again not all the cats return consistently or at all. It makes more sense that he’d think one of them was run over rather than slaughtered. It was getting late again so I rested my head for a moment, a bad move cause I ended up falling asleep at my desk. Not even changing out of the clothes I’d worn before, I woke up late and barely caught the bus the next morning.
I went to my usual spot but Abdul had already taken it. He patted the area next to it, which he’d covered in a towel, a smart move knowing how nasty it was. People gave me a few dirty looks as normal, which I smiled at. I stretched, my mind slightly less out of it than the previous morning.
“Uh, you do realize that-”
“Yeah, I know I’m wearing the same clothes.”
Abdul looked me up and down, his eyes remaining soft, but with a mix of concern and judgment. He set his backpack down and took off his sweater handing it to me.
“Dude what are you-”
“Look I don't know what led to you not being able to change but I think you should at least have a fresh top.”
I was surprised he was offering me something to wear but I took it.
“Uh, thanks, I’ll change into it later.”
He nodded as I put it in my backpack.
“You know you didn't have to do that.” I reminded him.
“Well there’s a lot of stuff I don’t have to do, but I do it because I want to, and I wanted to help you out.”
He smiled, his face still warmer than an Arizona summer. I got a strange feeling in my chest at that moment, I still can’t tell if it was good or bad.
“Well, thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow.”
We talked a little more and he mentioned something that caught my attention.
“Have you heard about all the animals that have been turning up dead?”
My eyes widened with surprise.
“No, I haven't, when did you hear about that?”
He pulled on his long-sleeve shirt.
“My sister said her friend who works at a shelter noticed a bunch of animals were getting adopted by people around the same time, and since then gore videos with them have been showing up. She found out through her co-worker who was emailed it by some random creep.”
I covered my mouth and looked away to hide the smile growing on my face. He had just given me the perfect cover-up without knowing. Now if I killed an animal people had an entire violent ring to connect it to instead of me! I stayed quiet for a minute because I could tell he’d likely see through any phony sad sounds I made.
“Oh wow, that’s awful, do you think they’ll ever find out the people behind it?”
He sighed, running his hand through his wavy hair.
“I hope so, for now, all we can do is pray that no more animals get hurt.”
I couldn't contain my grin as he said that so sincerely like animals and people didn't die constantly and that taking down one group would somehow stop the issue.
“Is there some joke I don’t get?” he furrowed his brow.
“Uh, no, sorry I smile when nervous.”
His gaze softened again, and he didn't press further.
His bringing up the animal killings ended up being the exact push I needed to get my hands dirty. I’d spent the entire day before planning so it was time to put that plan into action. I stole some cat treats that the cat man had laid out and spread them around my apartment which was on the bottom floor. Waiting for one of them to take the bate outside my window was pretty boring but one of them came after a few minutes. A scraggly brown and black cat with a tuft of fur missing on one side of his head. It's messed up but I felt like a little less of an asshole for taking him in since he looked like he was already struggling. I scooped him up and he didn't attempt to fight back.
“Hey there buddy” I waved, feeding him some more food. His eyes had a lot of crust on them, it was kinda gross but I don’t have the right to say with how often I wash my jeans. After a minute or two he let me pet him. I knew making any kind of attachment was bad but I thought it was the right thing to do so he’d fall into a sense of security. I was just about to take him into my room when the door opened.
“Hey, I’m back with groceries!” my shithead cousin announced with two plastic bags in his hands. He looked down to see me with the cat, his eyebrows raising.
“Aw come on, you know we can’t afford a pet.”
He groaned placing the bags on a table and unloading them.
“I know, but he doesn't look like he’s got a lot of life in him I at least want to help him feel better before he kicks the bucket!”
Brick rolled his eyes, putting the cereal box on top of the fridge
“Jeez, did you even think about what diseases he might have? His eyes look puffy what if he has something that can get you sick?”
He had valid concerns which was surprising since he’s usually stupid, but I was still annoyed with him.
“I’m sure he’s fine, I’ll even try to wash him, just please let me hold onto him for a little.”
He folded his arms looking down at us.
“Have you even named him?”
I froze for a second, before using the first thing that came to mind, which ended up being pretty awful knowing my plans.
“Cash cow.” I blurted, awkwardly patting his head.
“Honestly that’s better than what I was expecting. I was sure you’d pick ‘Hellspawn Mcgee’ or something else corny.”
He meant to make fun of me but honestly, I would have named him that if I had more time.
“Ugh, anyway I got those dumb chips you like.”
He then pulled out a bag of the wrong chips.
“Dude those are the wrong ones, this is the third time you’ve mixed up the flavors.”
He threw them at me, scaring the cat slightly.
“Well, I pay for it so you shouldn't be so picky. Anyway, while I was in line I picked up something you might be into.”
He then tossed me a trashy teen magazine. One of my least favorite sorry excuses for an influencer on the cover.
“This is a joke, right?”
I couldn't believe my own adopted brother gave such little shit in my interests.
“I don't know, you decided to start being a girl for real this time so I thought the makeup tips on page ten would help you out.”
I scrunched my face at his comment.
“Dude I’ve been this way for years, just because I started wearing more makeup and dresses doesn't mean I’m more of a girl than when I didn't. I know you won’t get the two-spirit thing but come on.”
He shrugged, seeing me done with me even though he’d just shown up.
“Yeah well hey I’m trying. Anyway, just so you know a friend of mine is coming here Friday.”
My heart stopped.
“Wait why here? You live elsewhere why can’t you assholes go there or their place!”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“Will you shut the fuck up!”
He screamed with a phrase I’d grown numb to.
“I don't know, to be honest, something about wanting to move into this complex and this being a way to scout it out. I’m just letting you know now so you don’t act like a complete freak.”
“Jokes on you I’ll piss in whatever shitty beer you bring just cause you said that!”
I yelled back raising my voice higher than his. He face-palmed before putting the plastic bags in the drawer under the sink.
“Whatever, you and your ketamine-addict-looking cat have fun,” he told me while seating himself on the couch. I picked up the cat and walked into the bathroom to clean it. I closed the door and placed him in the dry tub. Using a small disposable mouthwash cup I got a little bit of water. I hadn't had a pet before so I wasn't sure how to approach the task. I dipped my fingers in the water and carefully pet it while pouring s small bit down his back. Any other cat would fight back but he just made pissed-off noises without doing anything.
I scrapped my old shampoo bottle and kneaded it into his thin fur. His skin was bumpy and dry beneath the hair so scrubbing it was uncomfortable. I made sure to avoid getting soap in its eyes but I did pull away some of the crust on its lids. His pupils were so clouded I was surprised that he could see at all, making me feel even more sure that he would be on its way out with or without me.
After drying him I set him on a beat-up shirt I wore when modifying clothes. He sunk his claws into it a few times, playing with a loose string. I ignored him for the rest of the night, hopping into the shower and changing for bed. His meows woke me up a few times but I tuned it out after a while, reminding myself that he wouldn’t be my cat for long.
The next day was Thursday and there wasn't a second that passed by where the weight of the murder I’d have to commit didn't weigh on me. I seriously shot myself in the foot by taking care of that scruffy, pubic hair pile. I was supposed to be hyped about killing it, after all, I’d dreamed and seen way worse than what I was going to do. Yet once I got home and started setting up I felt grosser with each step. I decided to record it in my bathroom instead of my bedroom so it would be harder to connect to me. I set down a few fabric scraps and a worn-out beach towel, placing it all inside a tub for easier cleanup later.
“Okay, I guess it's time,” I mumbled to myself. I brought the cat in and placed it down, setting up my camera once it was comfortable. I also wore my most generic clothes in addition to a mask, putting my hair in a bun for sanitation. When I saw the flicker of red showing that the camera was on I felt I was dreaming. I smiled, excited that I’d get to live out my violent desires. Yet, when I looked down at its pathetic frame and confused expression those urges left me.
I rationalized what I was doing, reminding myself how many animals die all the time and that I’d been forced into this, but it didn't help much in the end. I won’t get into it but under the pressure of impressing the group Cash Cow didn't go out as fast as I would have liked for a first task. Getting rid of the evidence was especially rough, the textures were pretty nasty, to put it mildly. It was surreal watching the blood go down the tub drain and gradually drip off my hands as I rinsed them. I couldn't conjure a single thought the entire time I cleaned it up.
Whether I was wringing out the clothes or putting the remains in plastic bags, it didn't matter. All I could focus on was the task at hand, with hints of disgust along the way. I ended up finishing at three AM. My hands were wrinkled and shook once I settled. I won’t deny that during the murder I didn't hate it. Slashing into something was fun and it made me feel strong. Still, it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Part of it was guilt, but it was mostly disappointment. I’d built it up for years and it wasn't earth shatteringly good or bad.
Overall, I expected to feel more, but it just left me hollow with an uncomfortable itch. There was no way I’d ever be able to see the tub the same way, hell I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Luckily I almost always shower anyway so it's not too big of a deal. I watched a few horror game videos, trashed everything, changed and went to bed.
My scalp hurt like a bitch the morning since I kept my hair in that stupid bun. Despite getting less sleep than the past two days I held myself together a bit better in the morning. I brushed my teeth, changed, and had some fried bread before getting on the bus. Regardless I looked like complete shit and struggled to slump into my seat.
“Rough night?” Abdul asked
“Uh, yeah.” I quietly responded looking to the floor.
He frowned, looking at me with concern.
“You can talk about it if you're comfortable,” he assured me. I contemplated giving him a thinly veiled metaphor or vague explanation so he'd comfort me but stopped myself before my mouth could run a muck. He wouldn't be able to do much of anything and I don’t like opening up.
“Uhm, thanks but it's something I have to deal with alone.”
He nodded, respecting my boundaries.
“You know, I understand if you can’t hang out today it seems like you have a lot going on.”
I avoided eye contact with him as he spoke. For once I was feeling hints of guilt toward a person. I wanted to spend time with him, but I knew that I wasn't in the state to do that.
“Yeah, I think it’ll have to wait, I’m-” I cut myself off before apologizing. A fact about me that should surprise no one is that I hate apologizing. Even when I do feel kinda bad the act fills me with embarrassment.
“You what?” he asked, his eyes telling me that he knew what I was going to say.
“I’m emotionally not great.” I spat out in an admittedly poor attempt to get out of saying sorry. As always he remained calm but I could tell he saw through me.
“Okay, like I said I understand, whatever it is I hope you feel better.”
I told him thank you and we didn't speak for the rest of the day. At home I changed into more comfortable clothes and brushed my teeth. Unfortunately, I wasn't bouncing back from killing nearly as much as I expected.
“It wasn't even that bad! That thing was on its last legs anyway.” I grumbled to myself, smacking my forehead. I was feeling worse than when I did it which is weird. I ended up spontaneously decorating a ratty tie from the bottom of an accessory drawer to distract myself. It helped me get my mind off things, for a little. I had zero plan, just wanting to make something needlessly complex. Hours that felt like minutes passed and soon it was covered in patches, frills, and beads. I just tried it on when I heard the front door open.
“Man, that shit was wild!” I heard Brick laugh groggily. I didn't have to see or smell him to know he’d gotten lit. I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door.
“Hey, who’s there?” his friend asked, seemingly referring to me.
“Oh, that’s my little sis, don’t mind her she’s just on her emo shit!” he joked, which pissed me off for the petty reason that I didn't even listen or dress emo.
“Hey, that’s alright with me, I went through one of those phases,” they responded, their words less slurred than my cousin’s.
I fucked up and forgot to lock it when I closed it so they were able to swing it open, almost smacking my desk.
“Hey emo girl!” they waved as Brick haphazardly pulled them back.
“Okay, man, seriously I think she wants to be left alone.”
The way his friend looked at me made me uncomfortable. Like they’d snap my neck if I pissed them off. They clicked their tongue while stepping through the door frame.
“Alright, but I gotta say calling her an emo is inaccurate, they look like they watch gore and most emos just say they do.” they flashed a sharp toothy grin. At that moment I began to connect the dots.
“Easy, she’ll get pissy with you dude, now come on.” Brick warned tugging their opened button pushed him away. They looked me dead in the eyes.
“I don’t think she minds, in truth, I feel like we’ll have a lot to discuss later.” they smiled again, finally walking back into the living room. A chill ran up my spine when I saw them. The sharp teeth, New York accent, unsettling gaze, that motherfucker was the person who recruited me! They were able to get into my place so easily cause my dumbass cousin probably gave them a spare key or the opportunity to make one, and now they were a room away from me!
I dug my hands into my pillow as I contemplated what to do, no matter what happened next, I knew it was gonna be a rough visit.
submitted by Secret-Tomatillo5044 to libraryofshadows [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 08:05 AtasoyDi Best 10 Online Clothing Stores in the UK [2024]

The United Kingdom boasts the most lucrative ecommerce market in Europe, with the ecommerce industry reaching £103 billion in revenue in 2023. Over 27 million people made online clothing purchases last year, contributing significantly to this growth. ,
We explored the best online clothing stores in the UK, covering product ranges, best sellers, and prices in our article.
Here is a quick summary of the full post:

Gymshark

Oh Polly

ASOS

Boohoo

Club L London

Represent

Motel

Chi Chi London

Pretty Little Thing

Glamorous

Statistics of Online Clothing Stores in the UK

Demographics & Shopping Trends

Conclusion: Leading Online Stores in the UK

The UK’s top online clothing stores are reshaping how we think about fashion shopping. From impressive growth in the overall UK ecommerce sector to distinctive shopping preferences and options, online stores are meeting and often exceeding customer expectations. Whether seeking the latest trends, best deals, or most sustainable choices, online clothing shopping offers many options and benefits.
If you want to explore statistics or ecommerce-related content, you can browse the pieces we have crafted earlier:
submitted by AtasoyDi to Analyzify [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 04:25 Awkward-Cow1869 AITAH if I go NC with my mom and sister?

Sorry about format, as I'm on mobile. I'd get some snacks and a drink, cause this is gonna be a decent sized one. This is pretty much about my entire life. Also, I have mental health and sometimes add too many details to things. I kinda over share, so apologise if that happens. Me(F) my mom(F) sister(F)
My entire life, I have felt less than when it comes to my mom. It's pretty obvious my sister is the favorite child. Ever since she was born, I was put on a back burner. Then my brother was born, and it got even worse. (My brother is an amazing man, so I don't fault him for anything at all. He's pretty much my unofficial child. I will die for him.) When I was 3, my bio dad died. I did get checks every month for survivors checks, but when I turned 18, I never saw any of it. I understand that she needed it for me while I was a minor, but once I turned 18, it was supposed to actually go to me. I was still in my last year of high school, so it didn't stop til I graduated. If I would have gotten those checks, I would be way farther in life. My mom got with my siblings dad when I was around 4 or 5. That's where the abuse came in. She got pregnant with my sister, and pretty much made me the clown. My sister's dad was a Dr*g addict, and would go on binges, leaving me home alone to watch my siblings, while Mom was at work. I was 6 at this point. Granted, she did call the police and he got charged with 3 counts of child endangerment. (My brother was born at this point). Then, she stayed with him, even though he left us like that. When I was 9 was when I found out about my dad. She wasn't even going to tell me about him, but she had to, cause my grandma filed for grandparents rights. Mom didn't even tell me. Siblings dad is the one to sit me down. That's when my mental health started to really show. I was 9 and finding out the man that I called dad, wasn't actually my dad, and my real dad is never meet cause he's dead. My soul broke that day. Fast forward a few months and I get a puppy for my birthday. It pooped in the house, and G(siblings dad) was so irate, he left the puppy outside in the middle of the night, during the winter... He killed my dog. It was maybe 15° F that night. I woke up the next morning to mom telling me the dog ate paint off the wall ... She did, but the bite marks were there from a week prior. I was 9, not stupid. I saw through her lies. Fast forward again. They end up separating. He had gotten upset, then kidnapped my siblings taking them to a completely different state. He finally came back, and was in jail for 6 months. After he got out .. she got back with him. The final straw happened a few years later. When I was probably 8-10 can't remember exactly how old, I was having issues with my math homework. I have major dyslexia with numbers(can't remember the actual name) and math was my worst subject because of that. I was frustrated cause I just couldn't understand the math homework, so I crumpled the paper. (I was a kid. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I did.) She got up, and started to hit me. She was smacking my arms, and had me pinned down to the couch. I turned my head and she hit my nose hard enough for it to gush blood. (Granted I could flick my nose and it'd bleed, but I digress). Then, I had "played" with a belt with her and G, and one of them(can't remember who) was hitting me with another one. I didn't understand at the time, but we was all smacking each other with belts, tryna hit the others the hardest. (My lord I just realized how bad that actually was.) I went to school the next day, and had a few welts on my arms. Went to the nurse for some ice, and got asked who did it. I explained what happened, and cps got called. I didn't know, but I got home and got screamed at by G. He was in my face, so close I could smell his breath and feel his spittle hitting my face. Then my mom said it wasn't them, but my sister who scratched me. (It wasn't a scratch. It was a welt clearly from a belt.) There's probably more, but my brain made me forget to protect my sanity. Fast forward, she is finally away from him. Then she gets with my now step dad. I was 12 at the time. He was an okay guy. He has 5 kids. Well, of course I was the built in babysitter. I am the oldest out of all 8 of us kids. I wasn't allowed to hang out with friends as much as I should have been growing up, cause I was always the one to be the second parent to them. That's when my mental health started to get severe. I started self harming at 13. It would get so bad. Nothing of significance really happened between then til I was 16. (That I can remember. Thanks brain for protecting me.) I get into highschool. Freshman year. I'm finally able to start hanging out with friends more often. I end up having sex(I was coerced, wanted to wait til I was on bc, but I finally gave in. Shouldn't have, but it's whatever. I'm over it now.) Wasn't on birth control and didn't wear a condom. Had a scare I may have been pregnant. Mom finds out, gets a test and takes me to my grandma's to take it. She berates me in front of my grandparent and my aunt and cousins. Thankfully it was negative. Fast forward to when I was 16. Got my first job. Finally I'm old enough to make my own money. Well, I can't even spend my checks the way I wanted to. Majority of them went to her. I gave her prob 85 percent of my checks. I wanted to save for a car. Couldn't. (Not that it mattered. Didn't get my license til I was 23... I'm 27 now.) Kept getting my temps, only to never practice. Yet, when my sister is 18, she takes her out to drive and helps her get her license. But, whatever. Finally I graduate, and all I get is a gift card(I'm thankful of course. I'm not stingy, I just have envy from all the things my sister got, that I didn't.) Sister got a full blown party. Every single person I have been romantically with, she would put in my head that they aren't good enough. So much so, I thought I would never be with someone who genuinely loved me. (I have that now, so shout out to my amazing fiance.) I'm still cutting on a daily basis at this point. Cut from the ages of 12 to 20. I'd still be, if I wasn't with my fiance. (I was didn't sewer slide myself and actually did it right this time, anyway. Tried 5 times. Thankfully I failed each time.) I have bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression and ADHD. Not once did she take me to get health. She always dismissed me when I would try and talk to her about it, so I just kept to myself. It took my fiance's mom to take me and get me the help I needed. I barely graduated cause I just didn't care in 9th and 10th grade. I felt like I wasn't going to live past high school anyway, so why should I care? 11th grade comes up and working had actually given me motivation to keep going. (Plus I started smoking the devil's lettuce, so I was feeling better mentally.) Turn 18 and I move out. Ended up losing my job I had then, and go down a spiral. I got addicted to alcohol and pills for a couple of weeks. Not enough for withdrawals, but it was still bad. Thankfully I woke up one day and realized what I was doing. (I'll give her this, I called and she immediately came to get me so I could get out of that situation.) Fast forward more, I move out again, but just down the street. I'm now 19 and start dating my now fiance. We have been together 8 years and I barely talk to her anymore. Esp this past year. I don't really message her first anymore. I've gone 6 or more months without talking to her. Shoot, without talking to anyone in my family. Fiance's parents get me the mental health I needed. Get diagnosed with depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. I've told Mom I have bipolar since I was 16 and she just dismissed me, saying it's my hormones. (Jokes on her) About 4 years in, she starts telling me I need to find someone else to be with. He isn't good enough for me. (Yeah, like the rest weren't. No one is good enough for her.) It gets to the point I had to tell her and my sister both to stop, or I was gonna cut them out of my life completely. (Should have, looking back, but we learn.) They stop for a while. Sister is now showing her true colors. She's a narcissist and gaslighter, just like her father. She cannot own up to her mistakes, what so ever. She gets into an accident, not her fault. She gets into a fight she started, not her fault. Can't hold down a job, not yet fault. (I've had trouble holding down a job as well, but I'm getting better. I finally got diagnosed with ADHD and am in meds, so I'm not feeling impulsive as bad. Id switch jobs pretty frequently, due to the better sounding one. It's still affecting me to this day, but I'm seeing a change in my mind. Just gotta push through a bit more. Not blaming it on my ADHD, but the disease doesn't make it easier.) Mom has gotten sister a job with her at every single job she's had the past 4 years. Sister ruins it for mom, cause sister can't stand mom not paying attention to her, or doing everything for sister. Sister has bad anxiety, and uses it as an excuse to keep mom working. Sister wants all the pay of being a manager, without actually doing the manager duties. Sister always tells me I need to dress better. Says i "need to look more presentable and not like a slob". I wear skinny jeans and a Tshirt usually. Frequently, I'll wear sweats if I'm just going to moms and not going out. I like being comfy. Constantly criticizing me for every single thing I do. Finally mom says she realizes how bad she has treated me throughout my life. I forgave her a long time ago. Gets to the point mom says she wouldn't have anything to do with sister, if she wasn't her kid. Thought things were gonna change. Clearly not. Mom and sister both get another new job, the same job. Again. It's like nothing has changed since that conversation. Still barely talk to her, and everything. Last time I hung out with them, it was for only 3 hours. THREE HOURS. yet, I had anxiety and panic attacks from that small amount of time, for the next 3 days... I can't do this anymore, but I feel SO freaking guilty for even considering this. I love my mom and sister. I want them in my life, but I can't keep feeling like this. My mental health is always needing to be restarted after being around them. It's like I go back to that 12 year old me and want to self harm all over again. I'm now almost 10 years clean from it. There is no longer any scars, and I'm happier now. I just can't help but to feel I should just suck it up and "get over it". I know this is rediculously long, so if you've read this far, thank you. I just need some other people's perspective that isn't biased and I feel you guys are the best chance for that. I'm really struggling on what to do and feel so guilty for even typing this stuff out. My worst fear is disappointing her, yet I do every day. I also really hate confrontation. I'll do whatever it takes to avoid it, but I just can't anymore. I've always wondered how life would be if my dad was alive. I don't remember him, but I can still say I miss him. I miss the opportunities that I didn't get growing up.
Thank you guys. I'll take whatever you guys throw at me. I just want to see if my feelings are valid or not. This is literally causing me pain. I need help.
submitted by Awkward-Cow1869 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 04:13 FrogsNeedLoveToo Jean-Michel Basquiat photographed by Sabina Sarnitz in his Great Jones Street studio (1986)

Jean-Michel Basquiat photographed by Sabina Sarnitz in his Great Jones Street studio (1986) submitted by FrogsNeedLoveToo to OldSchoolCool [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 02:00 feross MIDI file – National Anthem - India.mid

MIDI file – National Anthem - India.mid submitted by feross to BitMidi [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 23:33 Tesa_Tesanovic1988 Your career management as an investment portfolio

In most cases when sales of a product have plateaued, market saturation is often used. That suggests there is more supply than demand for a given product. Western marketplaces are bursting with work options and ways to make money. Today’s young people must act smart and move quick to locate new employment opportunities.In most cases when sales of a product have plateaued, market saturation is often used. That suggests there is more supply than demand for a given product. Western marketplaces are bursting with work options and ways to make money. Today’s young people must act smart and move quick to locate new employment opportunities.

Suppose one wants to be successful in this field, they should focus on expanding markets, developing innovative technology, and uncovering undiscovered company prospects in highly profitable niche industries, among other things (Agarwal et al, 6). Businesses in crowded markets may cut the price of their products to gain a larger market share. As a result, businesses are always undercutting each other to attract new customers. Cost-cutting is a common strategy for firms when profits are stagnant (Simonazzi et al., 17). Unnecessary or avoidable cost savings are welcome, but they don’t address the underlying issue.

Where do I pay my taxes if I am a digital nomad?

According to the recent reports, westerners already pay too many taxes in a number of business entities. Due to the high cost of living in their new home nation, one out of every five American ex-pats is contemplating renunciation of their citizenship. Senators are concerned about how to pay for the deficit, and Senate rules prohibit raising long-term deficits through reconciliation bills. Consequently, more money will be available to Congress if the budget reconciliation plan generates more revenue. The United States will not make significant investments unless Congress makes significant adjustments to the tax structure (Michel et al., 89). Increased budget deficits could slow the long-term growth of the economy. In addition private investment or borrowing from other countries is used to pay for government borrowing when the economy is close to capacity (Chen et al.440). When a person is experiencing difficulties, it might harm their future well-being. To put it another way, the long-term impacts of tax policy are influenced by its incentives and its budgetary implications.
Digital nomads have historically been seen as a threat in some places, but several countries around the world are now actively seeking to attract this growing digital population through new remote work visas.
All this converges into a superstorm, and more and more people will opt for digital nomad opportunities. While tax regulations can vary significantly depending on where you are in the world, general guidelines may be helpful to for those seeking information on paying taxes as a digital nomad. Naturally, tax filing is done with the country of tax residence as determined by the place of a principal residence. Digital nomads, however, may encounter a variety of additional layers of tax residence due to their physical presence in other countries during a tax year. In addition, state/province/territory and local taxes may also apply.

Cancel culture and family safety issues

The cancellation culture has a lot to do with social media and if it hadn’t been for social media, pop culture would not have gotten the attention it has in the previous decade. In most case the cultures are frequently canceled by unfollowing, blocking, and publicly criticizing an organization or individual on social media. Due to their large social media followings, celebrity cancellations often garner much media attention. As a result of using social media to communicate with celebrities, many teenagers desire to emulate their peers. Most adolescent cancel culture is carried out online, primarily via comments and unfollows (Yar et al., 80). This can happen in the real world, such as at school or in extracurricular activities. They are often rejected, mocked, and disregarded by their peers, who have had their activities canceled. Most Western workers are experiencing job instability due to the growth of a “cancel culture” in the workplace (Dąbrowska-Kłosińska, 30). This can be a terrific method for teenagers to learn and grow, as their peers may call them out for using insulting words or acting inappropriately.

Investment analysis and forecasting as part of the individual development strategy

To produce an accurate financial projection, one must consider both general macroeconomic trends and your organization’s specific circumstances. Predicting how much money a company will generate and spend in the future is known as financial forecasting. A full estimate contains both short-term and long-term revenue estimates and costs that aren’t anticipated at the time of the estimate (Poorter et al.120). People who know how to create models are critical to financial forecasting firms that do a good job. Some people have extensive knowledge of the organization, its sectors, and the communities it serves to support them along the way. Similarly, data collection and analysis are critical to the financial forecasting process and the use of the software.

Scenario planning and personal life choices

Global events like COVID 19, inflation, or food crisis can impact our life choices a lot. To avoid reacting to events, we need to think about what might happen in the future. Scenario planning helps us do this. Scenario planning allows business leaders to consider what might happen, reflect on past actions, and devise strategies for positive and poor outcomes. Scenario planning is more than just a means to think about the future when it comes to financial planning. It can assist one in determining how much money you’ll make, how much money you’ll have, and how to manage hazards. Early warning indications of difficulties can be spotted by leaders who make their organizations aware of potential issues (MacKenzie et al.900). One can use scenario planning papers to quickly run through numerous scenarios and figure out the best course of action in the event of a crisis. Making a strategy in the event of an emergency is essential. Having a strategy in place is critical in the event of a product going viral and seeing a threefold increase in demand in a single day.

Building the right skills for the jobs of the future

To be eligible for future employment, one must possess the abilities that will be most in demand. Coding has taken off swiftly as one of the most sought-after skills. Almost any industry can benefit from the versatility and scalability of computer languages. People believe that coding is so prevalent in the workplace that it will soon become an essential skill for everyone. Learning to code is a difficult task. Learning how to code and the language you choose impacts how long it takes to do so (Moldoveanu et al.40). Before you begin learning how to code, look at several computer languages and determine which ones are relevant to your industry. Many people begin by studying HTML or JavaScript when learning a new language. After you’ve mastered the fundamentals, you can move to more popular and widely used languages like Python. It is possible to store and manage corporate data in the cloud while allowing employees to work from home.

Riding on global trends of tomorrow

By adopting an agile culture, knowing how to cope with ambiguity, pushing outside our comfort zones, and quickly adjusting to new trends, among other things, we achieve success. We all agree that the weather has gotten more erratic in the last few decades. Crop failure, sea-level rise, and water scarcity are exacerbated by global warming. Malaria and dengue fever epidemics are also on the rise due to the influx of people from developing countries. According to the Kyoto Protocol, 175 countries have agreed to begin the long process of reducing greenhouse gas emissions by signing it (Penalva et al., 340). According to business leaders worldwide, firms have a larger role in society and should do more than merely follow the law to reduce pollution. According to a McKinsey survey, this is the case. The “triple bottom line” refers to a company’s efforts to benefit its shareholders and its workers and the environment. Increasing numbers of businesses are waking up to the need to lower their carbon footprints, produce ecologically friendly products, and operate their operations for more than just quarterly profits.

References

Agarwal, Khushboo, and Veeraruna Kavitha. “Saturated total-population dependent branching process and viral markets.” arXiv preprint arXiv: 2203.16239 (2022).
Chen, Novia X., and Terry Shevlin. ““US worldwide taxation and domestic mergers and acquisitions” a discussion✰.” Journal of Accounting and Economics 66.2-3 (2018): 439-447.
Dąbrowska-Kłosińska, Patrycja. “The Protection of Human Rights in Pandemics—Reflections on the Past, Present, and Future.” German Law Journal 22.6 (2021): 28-38.
MacKenzie, Meredith A., et al. “Respecting choices and related models of advance care planning: a systematic review of published evidence.” American Journal of Hospice and Palliative Medicine® 35.6 (2018): 897-907.
Michel, Adam N. “When It Comes to Taxation, Borders Matter—Europe and the US Should Act Accordingly.” Heritage Foundation Issue Brief 4855 (2018).
Moldoveanu, Mihnea, and Das Narayandas. “The future of leadership development.” Harvard business review 97.2 (2019): 40-48.
Penalva, Jose. “Innovation, personalised education and Little Red Riding Hood.” International Journal of Lifelong Education 39.4 (2020): 339-355.
Poorter, Lourens, et al. “Can traits predict individual growth performance? A test in a hyperdiverse tropical forest.” New Phytologist 219.1 (2018): 109-121.
Simonazzi, Annamaria, Jorge Carreto Sanginés, and Margherita Russo. “The Future of the Automotive Industry: Dangerous Challenges or New Life for a Saturated Market?” Institute for New Economic Thinking Working Paper Series 141 (2020).
Yar, Sanam, and Jonah Engel Bromwich. “Tales From the teenage cancel culture.” The New York Times (2019).
Authors

Paul Lalovich

Organizational Effectiveness and Strategy Execution Practice

Tesha Teshanovich

Organizational Effectiveness and Strategy Execution Practice
submitted by Tesa_Tesanovic1988 to Open_innovation_model [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 22:48 rstock1962 Is this a scam?

Is this a scam?
I couldn’t add two screenshots so the beginning is missing but does this link look safe? I’m afraid to hit it. I’m on a diabetic sub and she offered a free book to read and then do an Amazon review. It seems legit but idk.
submitted by rstock1962 to u/rstock1962 [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 22:30 malcolio DRAFT - NTW in Alphabetical Order. Chapter 1: Alsace-Lorraine

DRAFT - NTW in Alphabetical Order. Chapter 1: Alsace-Lorraine
https://preview.redd.it/urzvrkw9ga1d1.png?width=1904&format=png&auto=webp&s=928b14fee0aa32d4158070e2f84e9bafa5fbd195
(Thumbnail) Seven years ago I started posting a writeup of playing a game of Empire: Total War with the challenge of conquering every region in alphabetical order. This was inspired by someone trying to play Crusader Kings in alphabetical order back in 2006. After 75 chapters, with about 2,600 images and just a silly amount of text, I completed the game and swore off touching another Total War game for some time!
I’m now back, to try and achieve the same goal of conquering every region in alphabetical order but in Napoleon: Total War. I’ve never finished a game of N:TW before, so it will fun to see what this more focused and refined(?) version of E:TW will be like to play. As with my last playthrough, I’m using DarthMod and playing on Normal/Normal difficulty. I have no idea if those settings will make this challenge too easy or impossible, let’s find out!
Napoleon Bonaparte’s stats and the 11 regions I have to sell off before I can start this challenge.
There is a vast quantity of books studying the life of Napoleon Bonaparte, but what none of them will tell you is that he had a passion for the alphabet just like King Louis XIV. So obviously he was forced to sell off every region of the French Empire so that he could conquer the entirety of Europe in alphabetical order.
Unfortunately if I lose France I automatically lose the entire game, so I’ll need to unofficially keep hold of that, but otherwise I first need to trade away Alsace-Lorraine, Aquitaine, Bretagne, Corsica, Hannover, Normandie, Pays d'Oc, Picardie-Champagne, Piedmont-Liguria, Provence, and the Southern Netherlands. At the moment the French Empire’s prosperity is spectacular, its prestige sublime, but that’s going to take a bit of a hit…
The French military units in those region capitals will soon need to vacate, most are just militia and basic cavalry, but Strasbourg has a decent sized force led by Napoleon’s brother-in-law Joachim Murat.
The French Imperial Army, scattered across Alsace-Lorraine, Northern Italy, and Hannover
The rest of the Imperial Army is along the empire’s eastern border. Napoleon himself commands the largest army to the west of Strasbourg, close to two smaller forces led by Marshals Michel Ney and Louis-Nicolas Davout. Over in Northern Italy a detachment led by Marshal Jean-André Masséna guards the border with Austria, and in isolated Hannover a similar-sized group guards the city with Marshal Jean-Baptiste Bernadotte as its commander.
The two French fleets, one off Portugal and the other near Genoa, and the flagship Scipion.
The French Navy has just two fleets. The Atlantic Squadron is currently stationed near Portugal, Admiral Pierre-Charles Villeneuve commands the immense 122-gun Scipion, two 3rd rates, two 4th rates, and frigate. The Mediterranean Squadron is near French-controlled Genoa, led by Vice-Admiral Victor Durand it consists of just two frigates and a corvette.
Soon the French Empire won’t have any ports that need defending or to repair ships at, and my income is about to nosedive, so I think it’s time to do something reckless…
An outnumbered French fleet is defeated by Britain’s finest, but not without scoring a massive blow against the Royal Navy.
Admiral Villeneuve is told to take his fleet north and engage whatever enemy vessels he can find, to sink as many ships as possible even if it risks wiping out his own. It doesn’t take long: in the Bay of Biscay the Atlantic Squadron bumps into none other than Vice-Admiral Nelson and a huge British fleet. The two commanders had previously fought at the Battle of the Nile as Rear-Admirals, and in reality weren’t due to meet for another 10 months at the Battle of Trafalgar. The British fleet greatly dwarfs the French, with Nelson commanding his own 122-gun Heavy 1st rate, a 1st rate, two 2nd rates, and three 3rd rates!
I auto-resolve the battle, resulting in an expected defeat. Villeneuve survives on board a battered Scipion, with only a 4th rate for company, but somehow his squadron managed to sink every British vessel except for Nelson’s Rose! The Royal Navy has suffered a pyrrhic victory, my navy upkeep costs have gone down by more than 1,000 gold, and what remains of the Atlantic Squadron flees south to join up with the Mediterranean Squadron next turn.
Parts of the French Empire are sold off, ready for them to be retaken in alphabetical order with the rest of Europe.
With those naval manoeuvres finished I start haggling with other nations to remove eleven French regions that are stopping me from starting my alphabetical challenge. I sell each region to a different ruler, to get as much cash from the sale and to stop any one nation becoming too powerful. I try to give territory that is towards the end of the alphabet to my allies, and those towards the start to my enemies, to prevent having to backstab my friends until I’m already forced to destroy them anyway.
While cash is important I also barter for as many technologies as I can: one technology can take 7 turns to research, gaining them now will pay dividends in growing my economy and strengthening my armed forces.
The main achievement of these region swaps, apart from losing all my income and making me only one region away from defeat, is completely changing the United Kingdom’s foreign policy: by letting George III have both a personal and political union with Hannover I convince the British Empire to abandon all of its allies, and instead join the side of its centuries-old nemesis. That recent battle in Biscay didn’t seem to matter! Along with becoming friends with Prussia I now feel less worried that Paris might be immediately marched on, though it’s hard to tell how long these new alliances will last.
The first unedited screenshot of the game. France is exempt from taxes, to help pretend it doesn’t exist, which doesn’t help the Empire’s negative income.
After all those region swaps I now only control France, as mentioned before I can’t remove this territory without automatically losing the game. So to try not to benefit from being forced to keep France I’ve set myself the rule that I cannot build anything there, cannot research there, cannot recruit any troops from Paris, and the region is exempt from taxes. I keep a company of Grenadiers à Cheval and two artillery batteries to defend the capital, together they cost 546 gold a turn in upkeep so Paris is losing me money!
Right, the game is now set up to start my challenge of conquering Europe in alphabetical order (sort of, ignore France). Which region do I need to capture first?
Alsace-Lorraine. Only just traded to the Austrian Empire, it is surrounded by French armies including one teleported from Hannover.
This is Alsace-Lorraine. Two images ago it became Austrian, in exchange for 5,530 gold and two technologies that would have taken me 14 turns to research. Unfortunately for Austria the region is surrounded by the bulk of the French Imperial Army, so the question isn’t how will I immediately conquer Alsace-Lorraine but can I do so without losing a single soldier?
The full might of the Imperial Army is amassed against Strasbourg, defended by a small number of Austrian infantrymen and some armed civilians.
Marshals Ney, Murat, and Bernadotte link up to immediately attack Strasbourg together. The full stack of units is supported by further armies commanded by Napoleon and Marshal Davot. Protecting the city is just five companies of Austrian line infantry, supported by hastily-armed citizens.
Alsace-Lorraine is captured, denting the expected deficit and allowing resources to be spent on improving the French military and economy.
It would be insanity to resist such an attack so the small Austrian infantry detachment wisely surrenders without a fight. Unfortunately, yet again, there is no battle to see here!
I choose to peacefully occupy Strasbourg and immediately start the construction of basic roads, a cannon factory, a musket manufactory, and an iron mine, plus a cantonment to replace the local tax office. Until that’s all built I can’t actually recruit any more soldiers, cavalry, or artillery (as I’m ignoring France existing). So avoiding a battle is boring but the troops I have are priceless!
The people of Alsace-Lorraine are unhappy under French rule, despite being Austrian for less time than it takes to read this sentence. Luckily I need to keep a large garrison here anyway to protect against my enemies to the east, and I also lower taxes a little to keep the region’s population and wealth growing, so the newly conquered population should be content for now.
OK, so far this challenge seems ridiculously easy, I captured my first region immediately without a single casualty. What’s next?
Aquitaine. Until very recently French, traded away to the Russian Empire.
This is Aquitaine. Like Alsace-Lorraine it was part of the French Empire but quickly traded away, this time to Russia, and like Strasbourg an enemy force has magically popped into existence to guard the region’s capital.
Unlike last time though there are no doom stacks waiting, ready to steamroll the city. What I do have is a random collection of units which originally guarded Bordeaux, Rennes, and Toulouse. A force of two companies of Chasseurs à Cheval (light cavalry) and two cohorts of the local National Guard is led by Captain Alexandre de Rosée, who waits for a company of Chevau-légers Lanciers (lancer cavalry) and another cohort of militia to reinforce him from Bretagne. Combined, this ragtag group of misfits should be enough to win against six battalions of Russian infantry squatting in Bordeaux. So attacking the city will need to wait until next turn, but before we move to Late January 1805 I have a few chores to do…
The French Empire is leaps and bounds ahead of every other nation in research, but this has ground to a halt until a college can be acquired.
One task is to think about researching new technologies. Most nations begin with all technologies locked, some are lucky to have already researched one or two when the game starts. France is luckiest of all with three technologies already researched: Army Corps Organisation, Conscription, and Division of Labour). Thanks to those earlier region trades the French now also understand Classical Economics), Fire and Advance), Improved Coppering), National Debt), and Public Schooling.
Those technologies provide various small economic and military bonuses which will take any other nation at least 50 turns to research, so I’m at a significant advantage on turn 1. However with my self-imposed rule of ignoring the existence of France I cannot use Orléans to start researching any new technologies, instead I send my two gentlemen east towards the first region which will provide a college I can use. It will take more than 10 turns for François-René de Chateaubriand and Jean Rapp to reach their destination, in the meantime my enemies will have unlocked a new technology each, and I have to hope the college they’re travelling to will be controlled by the French Empire by the time they arrive! Charles-Louis Schulmeister, French spy extraordinaire, joins them on the journey.
The French Council of State sees the appointment of a Keeper of the Seals, and new trade deals dent an expected deficit.
One other job to do before ending the first turn is to review who is running things. My starting ministers all have decent stats except for 3 star Keeper of the Seals Claude Ambroise Régnier. I replace him with a string of candidates until one, Oliver Molyneux, arrives with the Stallholder trait which give him a total of 4 management stars. That one extra star means the cost of repressing unrest in my regions is 3% cheaper, and that repression now has a +1 bonus. Small benefits like that could make or break my game in the long run!
Selling off all my regions severed all my trade routes. I re-establish all of them except the one with Spain, as I no longer have a sea or land connection with the Iberia Peninsula. Instead I create a trade agreement with the Electorate of Hesse-Kassel, worth 300 less gold than the Spanish agreement. Overall my trade income has dropped by 1,100 gold since I started this game, but at least I’m now only going to lose 2,880 in gold per turn!
That's the draft of this first chapter for now, this will be taken down when I start posting chapters on the Total War subreddit.
submitted by malcolio to u/malcolio [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 21:47 Pure1207 Electric sunburst guitar library is not working

Electric sunburst guitar library is not working
This is my first time using kontakt and i got the electric sunburst deluxe and none of the sounds are working it shows two options when i click on the library i dont know if i put it in kontakt wrong
submitted by Pure1207 to kontakt [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 19:48 QsLexiLouWho Former Alex Murdaugh trial judge reflects on case

Adrianna Lawrence / NewsNation - Nexstar Media / May 3, 2024 / 12:11 PM CDT
CONWAY, S.C. (WBTW) — The former judge who presided over the Alex Murdaugh case said while he worked as the judge overseeing the six-week double murder trial last year, he feels like people were judging him.
NewsNation affiliate WBTW had a one-on-one conversation Thursday evening with former Judge Clifton Newman. The former South Carolina circuit court judge delivered remarks at Coastal Carolina University’s commencement ceremony as the keynote speaker.
Newman focused a large part of his speech on his experience overseeing the Murdaugh case.
“And I was the main focal point and representative of our system of justice here in South Carolina so that was the burden that was placed on me to bear,” Newman said. “And that’s the way it goes.”
CCU students, family, and faculty gathered at Brooks Stadium to celebrate the Class of 2024 at its university wide graduation.
While Newman served as the keynote speaker, he also received an honorary degree of Doctor of Public Service. On March 3, 2023, in Walterboro, S.C. Alex Murdaugh was found guilty of killing his wife Maggie and son Paul.
Newman sentenced him to two consecutive life in prison sentences.
“For the murder of Paul Murdaugh, whom you probably love so much, I sentence you to prison for murdering him for the rest of your natural life,” Newman said during sentencing.
Newman said the Murdaugh family goes back to a long line of lawyers, attorneys, and solicitors.
Alex Murdaugh was no exception, Newman calling him “legal royalty in South Carolina” during his keynote address.
“From the outside, he represented the pinnacle of success,” Newman said. “But on that day, Alex was appearing before me as a defendant on trial for murder.”
Newman was born in Kingstree S.C. and served as a judge for more than two decades. He said it was a surreal experience growing up in a small town to being in the national spotlight.
“I don’t want to say it’s a dream come true, but it certainly is an amazing journey,” Newman said.
During his address, he said you have to be ready to meet the moment and rise to the occasion. He said he feels he did just that during the Murdaugh trial.
At Murdaugh’s sentencing hearing, Newman shared an emotional thought with him.
“I know you have to see Paul and Maggie during the nighttime when you’re attempting to go to sleep,” Newman said. “I’m sure they come and visit you.”
Newman explained to WBTW where this compassion for someone who was convicted of murder came from.
“Well, it’s painful. There are no winners, there is nothing to cheer or celebrate,” he said. Newman adds it was unfortunate for Murdaugh’s family, the legal community, and the country.
Newman was recused from the case and soon retired. He said his retirement stemmed from a state mandate requiring it once you reach the age of 72.
He said he turned 72 a few months after the trial, but his presence is still felt in the legal community.
“I continue to work as an active retired judge and also do arbitration and mediation,” Newman said. “So, life is good.”
Newman said he’s also been invited to speak at other graduations like South Carolina State University and the University of South Carolina.
SOURCE: Click *here** for the article via NewsNation online*.
submitted by QsLexiLouWho to MurdaughFamilyMurders [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 19:34 abcdef123456ghjk Launchpad looks weird on macOS Sonoma 14.5 with OCLP 1.4.3

Launchpad looks weird on macOS Sonoma 14.5 with OCLP 1.4.3 submitted by abcdef123456ghjk to MacOS [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 18:59 DepecheMidi My Cosmos Is Mine (MIDI File and Karaoke)

My Cosmos Is Mine (MIDI File and Karaoke) submitted by DepecheMidi to depechemode [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 18:14 pineX59 Why are my mixer and peak meter visualisers playing at a really low frame rate?

Why are my mixer and peak meter visualisers playing at a really low frame rate?
I just got an audio interface after just using my computers default sound card previously, since I got it the animated visualisers in FL such as the peak meter and monitor at the top of the interface look like they're lagging, as if my cpu usage was too high, but it isn't. I've attached a picture of my audio settings, changing the playback tracking from mixer to driver stops the playback meter from lagging but nothing else.
submitted by pineX59 to FL_Studio [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 13:59 geepa2921 1,000’s of midi files for sale

submitted by geepa2921 to stickers [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 11:29 oceanadawn My absolute most deranged, psychotic, "seek help OP" Rejuvenation lore theory: [SPOILER] is playing a game called "Pokemon Rejuvenation" against [SPOILER].

Pokemon Rejuvenation is about Karma playing a game called Pokemon Rejuvenation.
Here's why.
To that end, I think there's only one non-deranged answer - Variya. Let's go with that for a second.
Variya is the ONLY non-deranged candidate for World Shatterer, out of characters that have already been introduced. You could theorize it's maybe someone like Nymiera or Rune, Nymiera is still beneath Variya in the pecking order, and Rune was trying to save the world, not shatter it. And here's another thing.
Kieran, Clear, and Eden are Interceptors.
Variya is World Shatterer, and Kieran and Clear are Artificial Interceptors built by a moonside lab that supervises Karma from the outside and works for her as well. But Variya built Karma to save and protect everything. Why would she be fighting Karma too?
Because it's a game.
Karma could sit down and just create worlds of happy sunshine joy joy forever and be satisfied with that perfect ending being achieved in every world, and just strategically not make worlds that have certain types of people in it. To prevent Karma from doing that, the worlds need outside elements beyond just the Interceptors. Those outside elements are Team Xen and other threats to the world, all of which are supported by, or come from, the moonbase lab, which operates under the supervision of Variya and understand her true nature. Beyond just letting the system do all the work with the singular failsafe of The Interceptor, Variya has an entire faction of her own that exists to compete with Karma.
And Karma kind of enjoys it.
The way Karma talks about World Shatterer isn't like someone who's deeply concerned with all the people who are going to die. It's a competition. Karma makes "new versions" to really show World Shatterer who's boss. Karma kind of talks in a whiny and childish way, which for the record is awesome for this kind of character, but it again suggests someone who's not in an existential struggle for the soul of everything - it's someone who wants to win. Because playing this game is part of what Karma is supposed to do.
Karma was built to take the Pokemon world that was destroyed, and to... revive it. To make the new world, the best possible world, or the best possible, flourishing worlds, as would be approved by Variya and the Overseers. Karma is playing a game, of restoring the Pokemon world. A game of...
Pokemon Rejuvenation.
Wait, why would it be so meta? Why would Karma's game be called Pokemon Rejuvenation? Because that was the password to the secret files about Karma that Adrest was holding onto. The words "Pokemon Rejuvenation" are already right there for Karma and Adrest.
Karma is supposed to play this game against an adversary, like an Ellimist/Crayak situation from Animorphs. That's why Karma deleted Adrest for realizing Variya was still there, before Adrest could truly do anything to work against Variya - he's meant to play the game against her. The Lumiceptor and Kieran and Clear are working against Karma, which is why Karma tries so hard to stop them by mutating Talon and eventually Aelita. Karma can supposedly control everything and everyone, but can't just stop them. Maybe that's not so shocking - they're all Interceptors of a type, except Madame X and Team Xen are trying to do the same thing that Karma doesn't want to happen. Why can't Karma just stop them and say "And then they didn't do that"?
Because Karma can't truly, completely bind the fate of Team Xen, because they're not Karma's pieces to play. They're World Shatterer's. Variya's. As part of the game - she plays both sides, by introducing Interceptors who can stop Team Xen, and also supporting Team Xen, all to try to engineer stronger, healthier worlds by forcing Karma to put in the extra work, and letting worlds that can't defeat Team Xen perish in a sort of cosmological natural selection. The moonbase lab is semi-independent to her - they do things that they know are sort of in the general direction of her goals, but she's not controlling their every move. Hence why she can both choose her own Interceptor to go out there and Intercept It Up, while the moonbase can try to work on creating their own artificial Interceptors to have as many as they need.
Except.
What if there's something else that Variya is after?
It was either Spacea or Tiempa who said that the boundaries between alternate selves was collapsing. We keep seeing this happen when Mosely and Amber remember Chapter 12. Let's circle back even further. Jan has said the actual purpose of Karma in the game is to prove there can be no True Ending. How can Karma's existence prove there's no True Ending, and why is Tiempa saying that the breakdown of the barriers between alternate selves is by the will of the Interceptor - and implicitly, by extension, Variya?
And what if, this is actually the key to beating Karma - beating Karma meaning not just freeing every world from Karma's control, but even freeing past worlds and past people from Karma's control?
Karma has overseen countless worlds filled with alternate selves, but the boundaries between these alternate selves are breaking down. I think this is Variya's win condition. She made Karma thinking that at some point, Karma would have to be shut down after enough blooming, flourishing worlds were created.
Here's my theory: When the barriers between alternate selves breakdown, if Karma isn't online, they won't overlap. But they won't just coexist either. Instead, they'll start to merge, and in a very fluid, weird way, that allows them to pick and choose which aspects of their history they want to be true.
All of a sudden, all those past histories that were fixed and chosen only by Karma are now in the control of all the characters freed from Karma's control, who now have the ability and power, in this weird fucked up non-overlapping state to pick and choose what they wanted their past to be too, and by extension, their future, and what worlds they'll fit into, and what the new worlds that exist after Karma will even be. Because for this to happen...
The old worlds will have to be Shattered.
You know, by some kind of, World Shatterer.
This would lead to all the characters not just gaining their freedom, but because they'll have so many different pasts and alternate selves to choose from, they'll have in some sense, never lost it in the first place. It will also lead to a fracturing of the timelines as new ones take shape, making it impossible to say any ending of the timelines is "more canonical" than the other. And this is the end that Variya is trying to force now that she believes Karma is no longer needed.
You know what I'm not done being deranged. Either Anathea and the Theolias are the descendants of MISSING.EXE, or Melia was created by MISSING.EXE, and MISSING.EXE is absolutely named Zed and probably looks a lot like Zetta.
You know what I'm still not done. Rune was Madame X once. Fuck it let's go wild. Why does Madame X have such a weird, irrational attachement to former Axis High Students? Who could she be to have those wild attachements while also possessing a weird, mysterious amount of knowledge? Who else fits that bill? Of course it's impossible for current Rune to be Madame X, but then again, Rune was found in the Voidal Chasm where your history and past are eaten and everything goes weird about you, and everyone assumed she came from Miera directly from her past, instead of being in some freaky Timey Wimey situation - or it's a Rune from a past timeline, like I said in my other unhinged theory.
The Madame X armour carries her memories over to whoever becomes the new Madame X. Why not. Let's go apeshit.
Anyway I still can't compete with the person I remember seeing on rebornevo who said World Shatterer is Ame but I did my best.
submitted by oceanadawn to PokemonRejuvenation [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 10:33 BillMillerBBQ What would I also like if I enjoy The Oh of Pleasure (Ray Lynch) and Oxygène Pt.4 (Jean Michel Jarre)?

There are a handful of other tracks out there in this genre that I enjoy but these two are stand outs for me.
submitted by BillMillerBBQ to MusicRecommendations [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 08:46 Potential-Lavishness How to make friends, part 1: your physical self

I see a lot of posts of lonely ppl who want friends. As someone who has consciously taught myself social skills, now makes friends easily, and has maintained deep bonds over decades, I feel qualified to share what I’ve learned. I’ll warn you, tough love and even tougher truths are part of this. If you find yourself arguing, but don’t have friends yourself, ask yourself where that resistance comes from. Don’t direct it at me; take some time to journal and sit with it. This is part of the journey.
I have a lot of info so I’m breaking this into parts. I’m naturally pedantic and have a lot to share. I will do my best to keep it as concentrated as possible but be warned: this will be wordy with no TLDR.
The first part of making friends starts with your physical self. Humans are primarily visual creatures(all genders) and how we present ourselves is the first invitation or hurdle to interacting with ppl.
  1. Hygiene: daily showering is a non-negotiable. You can rot on your own time in your own house. If you are going to be a part of society you need to wrangle your body smells so that ppl aren’t offended by your very presence. This is the first tough truth: no one wants to be friends with a smelly person. Use soap and a washcloth, stay away from those plastic nightmare loofahs. Wash every nook, cranny, divet, and crevices. Wash your booty hole and genitals. Change your washcloth daily (wash a$$ last) or use a separate one for your butt. Wash your sheets, pillowcases, towels, robes, and floor mat once a week. Wear deodorant (no, body sprays aren’t deodorant) daily. Some of us are extra stinky due to “stress sweat” aka apocrine glands and this is a common physical side effect of an overtaxed nervous system. Extra stinky ppl need to touch up their armpits with a disinfectant wipe and reapplication of deodorant; lunch time is great for this. Brush your teeth upon waking, after drinking coffee, and after eating. No, gum and mouthwash are only temporary, they aren’t good enough. You still have bad breath. Drinking coffee wo brushing in the morning leads to that extra stinky breath that smells like death. Don’t be that person. Floss once a day. When washing hair, use shampoo and focus on the scalp more than the hair. If you can’t feel the lather on every centimeter, add more to those spots or you will still stink. Most ppl need to wash it twice if they don’t shampoo everyday. Shorter hair, thinning hair, and fine hair need to be washed more often, sometimes daily. We can smell your scalp from far away. Keep your nails trimmed or neatly filed. I’ve had to school multiple men in my life on how raggedy their nails are. Don’t just grow them out until they break off. Keep them short unless you have the time and desire to file and shape them at least once a week. Wash your hands every time you use the bathroom. I don’t care if you didn’t touch yourself, that’s not the point. Ppl notice. Also wash your hands when you’re alone and at home, seriously it’s not that hard. How are you going to want friendship if you don’t value them enough to keep them safe and sanitary? Trim your toenails and stay abreast of how your feet smell. If you have smelly feet you probably have athletes foot. Sprays are an easy way to treat this. If you still have stinky feet after this, keep a change of socks with you so if you go to a no shoes house, you aren’t making ppl sick. Wash inner clothes like shirts and underwear after every wear. Sweat shirts and jeans can often be worn a few times before needing to be washed but smell the armpits and ass, and check for stains before you put them on.
Don’t proceed further until you can adhere to these standards at least when you’re in public. If you’re in a depression and can’t maintain these, stay at home until you can. If you don’t have the energy to bathe and be clean, you don’t have the energy for friends.
  1. Grooming. This about looking neat and together. Humans are visual creatures, we judge others based on their looks. I’m not talking skinny/fat, ugly/pretty. I mean that if you look like your life is rough, ppl aren’t going to want to get involved with that. We have our own issues and struggles, we don’t want to add someone to our lives that looks like they are on the brink of a meltdown. Brush your hair and teeth before you leave the house. This is my bare minimum. Curly hair is different but my wavy hair needs to be brushed the same as straight. Combing is also acceptable. Keep an eye on your dandruff. If you have it, treat it. There are many otc options. At the very least shake it out and don’t wear dark colors until it’s fixed. Make sure you don’t have eye crusties, mouth corner goop, or boogers. If you’re showering these are usually not an issue but check for these a few times a day. I don’t iron my clothes but many ppl associate wrinkles with poor grooming. Consider getting a handheld steamer. I personally fold my clothes kon-marie style or hang them and that’s good enough for me. Keep your shoes clean. Lots of people are taught to judge other by the state of their shoes. Notice how many ppl look at your shoes the first time you meet. Wash the white laces regularly, polish and condition leather. Patent shoes are super hard to keep scuff free so avoid them if you are prone to scuffs or dragging your feet. My shoes come untied so I double knot my laces to avoid looking sloppy. Replace buttons and ask a dry cleaner to repair any holes or tears. Relegate worn out and stained clothes to lounge wear.
  2. Posture. Your posture says so much about you. A relaxed and tall posture says you’re confident and easy going. The type of person we all want to be friends with. Forward head means life has beaten you down. Rounded shoulders says you’ve been hurt but haven’t healed. Collapsed chest says you’ve given up. Lordosis means your core body and core self are weak. Stand with your feet an inch or two from the wall and stand naturally. Your head and most of your spine should touch. If it doesn’t you have work to do. You can’t just force yourself to stand up straight. Your muscles have stretched and atrophied to accommodate this unnatural stance, you will need to rehab your body over weeks and months to regain proper function. Research and watch videos on strengthening postural muscles. My fave that’s easy to explain: when you’re at the wall checking your posture, bend your knees slowly until you can press your spine and back of head into the wall. Stay there for a moment and feel it. That’s the proper position of your pelvis; posture comes from pelvic position not our chest, shoulders, or back. Now clench your ab muscles, they might be weak or non existent. These are the muscles that need to be strengthened. Hold those muscles tight and try to straighten your knees while maintaining that pelvic position. Breathe and hold for 30 seconds. If you can’t do 30 start with 10. Do this every time you go to the bathroom, not necessarily in the bathroom but by tying it to an inevitable part of your day you have a better chance of being consistent.
  3. Body language. Like posture, we communicate much more than we realize with our bodies. How we walk, sit, fidget, etc telegraphs nonverbal messages to those around us. Many ppl are very dissociated with their daily movements. Take some time to notice how you walk. Do you drag your feet? How would someone describe your walk? Do you schlep, shuffle, scurry? Or do you glide, prance, or stalk? I love to drag my feet and do this at home in my slippers. But in public I am more conscious of how I walk. This is much harder for me to explain. My main tip is to watch out for small, jerky, fast movments, like fidgeting and scurrying. These are prey movements and relegate us to an undesirable social standing: prey. Think of how a mouse moves: small, jerky quick movements. Now think of a panther. Every movement is intentional and controlled, smooth, slow. Go on walks if you are able bodied and start to notice how you move. Notice how those around you move. Which ones seem confident to you and which ones are off putting. Same with sitting. Do your best to sit up straight rather than completely melting into the chair. Don’t “throw” yourself onto someone’s furniture, use your legs to lower yourself down. When listening do your best to keep movements to a minimum. Breathing slowly and deep helps with this. I use my hands to talk when I’m excited and don’t see this as a problem.
  4. Eye contact. Eye contact is very important but it also varies by culture. This will be regarding western/American culture. Eye contact used to be difficult for me. I now have an engaged and sometimes intense gaze. It’s more important to maintain eye contact when listening, not as important when talking. You don’t have to laser focus, break your gaze regularly to take in the other person’s movements and body language, look briefly at other parts of their face, lower your gaze, glance at the room. But don’t stray for too long, wandering gaze makes ppl feel like you aren’t listening and ppl don’t want to engage with bad listeners. Don’t look at breasts or genitals. Once you’re comfortable with someone you can look away much more or sometimes even look at other things while you listen. But in the beginning you are building trust.
Extra credit: cultivate your personal style. This is optional but supremely helpful. A pleasing physical appearance can garner compliments which is a great way to start conversations. It can also connect us with like minded individuals or show our place in a culture or subculture. Hair is one of the best ways to customize your appearance: cut, color, and style are all options. If you choose long hair, make sure you understand that long hair is a hobby; it takes tons of time and effort to maintain. Not to mention the research and trial and error to find products. Especially men who want long hair, make sure you are up for keeping it clean and neat. You will need to still keep it trimmed, learn to part your hair, learn to tie it back neatly, keep it from looking greasy, etc. if it’s thinning, it’s more flattering to keep it short. if you have curls you will need to learn different techniques that take even more time and effort. Same with vivid colors: they take so much time and money to maintain. Go for it if you have taken time to understand the upkeep.
For clothing, any style works. If you have zero idea how to build a wardrobe choose one dark neutral (black, charcoal grey, navy, or chocolate brown), choose one light neutral (white, ivory, light grey, beige), and one medium neutral (olive green, khaki, camel, mid grey, rust, beige). Only choose one of each and preferably ones that look nice on you. From now on only buy clothes in these shades. Focus on getting your basic covered before you choose colors: tshirts, sweaters, sweatshirts jeans, slacks, jacket, coat. There are so many options and it’s a great opportunity to get to know yourself. Do you like graphic Ts or plain? V neck or crew? Do you like sweatshirts that zip? Do you like hoods? For sweaters: turtlenecks, cardigans, pullovers, or quarter zips? Wool coats or puffers? Leather or denim jackets? Enjoy each detail you learn about yourself. Once your basics are covered, choose two colors. Then try to only get stuff in those colors. My pallet when I was blonde was: black, ivory, and beige with red or blush pink. Now that I’m my natural color it’s: navy, grey, ivory with sky blue or forest green. By putting limiting your colors, everything matches and you always look put together. Accessories are where your personality can really shine: loud sneakers, big belt buckles, unique watches, rings, necklaces, hats or caps, scarves, bags. There are so many ways to express yourself. Keep your accessories to your chosen colors at first. Once you have figured out your style and built up a wardrobe that works, you can add more colors and pizazz.
submitted by Potential-Lavishness to CPTSD [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 04:10 PickleSlayer87 These mofos acting like Adrew Tate (reposted)

These mofos acting like Adrew Tate (reposted) submitted by PickleSlayer87 to insanepinoyfacebook [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 03:09 Sapphic_Baphomet Some survivor ideas

So I want to make a game like IDV or DBD and have been working on some survivor ideas. Here they are:
Legionnaire (Jean Michel Saidi):
Idiosyncracies:
Magic Bottle: The Legionnaire can use his Magic Bottle to create Mirages that obstruct the Warden. The Legionnaire's Mirages can be passed through by the Legionnaire and the other Survivors. Mirages will vanish after being struck with a charged attack. The Legionnaire's Magic Bottle has 10 uses. Up to 3 Mirages can be summoned at a time.
Military Training: The Legionnaire vaults 15% faster and can't be interrupted while vaulting. Getting hit in the middle of a vault will not cause the Legionnaire to be downed unless he is already Injured.
Pessimistic: For every Survivor eliminated, the Legionnaire has 10% decreased interaction speed.
Survivor Type: Detain
Director (Hyunwoo Chun):
Idiosyncracies:
Director's Script: When the Director reunites with another Survivor they are added to his Cast. For every Survivor in the Cast the maximum amount of time the Director can write his Script for increases by 10 seconds. After a minimum of 10 seconds of writing his Script the Director can summon Decoys. For every 10 seconds of progress in the Script a Decoy of another Survivor is summoned. The Decoys last 15 seconds. After the Decoys vanish the Director's Script goes on cooldown for 30 seconds.
Productive Focus: For every Survivor still alive the Director gains a 10% movement speed bonus when a Survivor is placed on a Loom. For each Survivor eliminated the Director gains a 15% increase to rescue and healing speed.
Cooperative Direction: All Survivors gain a 25% increase to interaction speed while within 32 meters of the Director. If the Survivor is performing a cooperative action with the Director this bonus increases to 35%.
Survivor Type: Rescue
War Photographer (Aysima Hasanov):
Idiosyncracies:
Flash Camera: The War Photographer can use her Flash Camera to blind the Warden. Successfully blinding the Warden with the Flash Camera gives the War Photographer stacks of Lockon, with 10 stacks gained for every successful blind up to 100 stacks. While the War Photographer has Lockon, she can expend 10 stacks of it to reveal the Warden's aura to all Survivors for 5 seconds.
Images of Horror: Whenever the War Photographer fails a Skill Check while decoding she becomes Panicked.
Survivor Type: Assist
Militant (Siobhan Walsh):
Idiosyncracies:
Gas Bomb: The Militant comes equipped with Gas Bombs she can use to blind the Warden and obscure the presence of herself and others. When the Militant uses a Gas Bomb it explodes, spreading gas in a short radius. When the Warden enters the gas cloud they will be Blinded for a short time. In addition, any Survivors within the gas cloud when the Gas Bomb explodes will become Undetectable for a short time. The Militant starts the match with 3 Gas Bombs and can open chests to acquire more, up to 5 total.
Crowd Control: While the Militant is in a chase with the Warden, if another Survivor is within the Warden's Terror Radius the Militant moves and vaults 15% faster.
Camaraderie: For every Survivor still alive the Militant gains a 15% increase to healing and rescue speed and the elimination speed of Survivors is reduced by 10%.
Survivor Type: Rescue
submitted by Sapphic_Baphomet to IdentityV [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 02:35 Auxfrontieres POURQUOI LE MAROC COLLABORE-T-IL AVEC ISRAËL ? - MICHEL MIDI AVEC AHMED BENSAADA

POURQUOI LE MAROC COLLABORE-T-IL AVEC ISRAËL ? - MICHEL MIDI AVEC AHMED BENSAADA submitted by Auxfrontieres to Debatdeshauts [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 02:00 feross MIDI file – a-team.mid

MIDI file – a-team.mid submitted by feross to BitMidi [link] [comments]


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