My ex girlfriend and I were together for about two years and broke up about a year ago. I was staying in the country where she is from to do my degree, because my grandparents live there, and I wanted a change. We decided to break up when I decided to move back home. It was difficult, but ended up being for the best. I had gone back there to see my grandparents and spend a bit of time there, because I really enjoyed it there.
A couple of days later, I saw my ex girlfriend, with a baby, and I went to say hello. I figured it was her older sister’s baby, although I hadn’t heard anything about it, it seemed the most likely. She almost looked scared when she saw me, and that was very confusing. Our breakup hadn’t been that difficult or anything like that, and I had thought we were still friendly. We talked for a bit, and then I asked her who the baby was. She said it didn’t matter, and it was nice seeing me, but she had to go now. And then she left.
A couple of days later I saw some of my old friends, who are also friends with her. I mentioned that I didn’t know that my ex girlfriend’s sister had a baby, and they all looked confused and asked me what I meant. I said I saw her with a baby, and thought it was her sister’s, and asked who it was. They reacted the same way as my ex girlfriend, and said they didn’t know. But it’s a bit confusing. Some of them are very close friends with her, and it seemed odd they wouldn't know.
When I brought it up to a friend again, she said to leave it, and she clearly didn’t want to talk about it, so I should leave her alone like she wants. I said it wasn’t a big deal, I was just curious. And then she told me that I can’t tell her that she told me, but it was her baby. I asked why no one told me that, and she said she doesn’t want me to know about it. I also asked if she knows who the father is, and she said it doesn't matter.
It's really confusing. My ex girlfriend is a lovely person, and I still do care about her. And I don't know if this is ridiculous, but I can't help but wonder if the baby might be mine. It's not impossible, but I also don't know why she wouldn't tell me if they were. But it's a thought that's in the back of my mind, and I don't know how I'll ever know. I want to know, but I also could be wrong, and I don't want to cause trouble for her, when a baby seems like a lot of work.

My mom has a mostly remote job, but sometimes has to go out, which means I'm left alone with our big dog who I love very dearly. But there have been two times I've been left alone with her where she just HAPPENS to get sick right after my mom leaves (of course 😭).
I've been doing a lot better with my emetophobia, interpersonally. A lot better with calming myself down effectively and constructively, but I can't handle it when it comes to me having to be around and clean up someone who has vomited. That's one reason I've never done babysitting. And it's even worse with a big dog who has GERD.
Every time I'm left with her, I just tense up and I'm anxious all the time, constantly looking for warning signs until I'm able to relax, and she's able to just sleep on the couch. But when she gets up and starts pacing and bows her head, I bolt to open the back door. Sometimes she looks at me so confused like "tf you on??? Why are you crazy???"
It's somewhat improved. I just don't know what to do if she were to get sick, and I'm terrified of that possibility. The two times she did I ended up locking myself out of the house. It was really awful. But I did notice last time that my reaction to seeing her throw up was a lot calmer than it was before. Even though I screamed instinctively.
Does anyone have any stories to share related to this that could help me reckon with it? Any advice?

Bed time battles
How can i help my two year old(28 months) go to bed?
We were co sleeping but have been slowly transitioning into her sleeping in her own bed- for the first couple of weeks it went great but she would only fall asleep if she was able to nurse( i think comfort nurse bc i don’t think there’s any milk coming out) but that was starting to be too much for me and i had to cut her off. Since then she has not been able to fall asleep in her own bed.
I’ve been trying different methods like rubbing her back, giving her pats, stroking her face/hair, laying with her, sitting near her, leaving a night light on, and turning all lights off.
I’m starting to just feel overwhelmed and defeated with us making no progress towards her being able to sleep independently. We have a pretty good routine( dinner relax for half an hour, take bath, brush teeth, pajama time) but when it comes to actually getting in bed all she wants to do is anything but lay down.
I just need any advice or to know i’m not alone in this :(

Am I crazy? I'm writing this drunk and high. At 12:34 on a Saturday night. Probably because I wouldn't write it at any other time. I think I'm forever single. I've been in a relationship before. One. It started when I was 17 and ended when I was 19. I'm not sure if it was love or puppy love. I almost entered a relationship a few months after that with this gorgeous guy, but I wanted to be single and wasn't interested in being smothered anymore. Flashforward to 2024, a week after my 25th birthday, I haven't been in a relationship since. Hell, I haven't even been close to being in a relationship since. I haven't spoken to a boy/guy/man for more than 12 hours since. (I say 'boy/guy/man' because I feel like at my age, that's what you've gone through. When you're a teen, you date boys. In college, guys. When you've been contributing to a 403b for almost 4 years? Men? Right?? Men. I do looooove men. Anyway...) I am/I've been on the apps. I've had hot Grindr hookups. I've had horrible, terrible Grindr hookups. I go to gay bars in NYC, Fire Island, Florida, Vegas, PTown. No one seems to be interested in me. I dont have abs. My weight flucuates often. I suffer from anxiety and I love smoking weed. I've been really focused on work and starting my career. But, surely, many gay men who would say all of the above are in happy, committed relationships. But I'm not even sure that's what I want. A (straight) couple that I haven't seen in months caught up with me tonight and, of course, one of the first questions they asked was my relationship status. "Oh dont worry, I didn't find him until I was 38!," the woman exclaimed. When speaking to an acquaintance tonight, she brought up a guy that we both mutually know. "He's 30 and has never seriously dated anyone or brought anyone around," she remarked. As a put-down. As evidence to prove how immature this guy is.
Huh.
Does this mean I'm immature? Is this what people say about me? It's not that I dont want a relationship. It'd be cool, I guess. I'm not asexual. In fact, I'm like the horniest person I know. Except after college, I've barely had sex with anyone. Being in a relationship that guarantees regular sex would be awesome. Maybe it's a confidence issue? When my weight flucuates, I get really self-concious. When I'm anorexic and draw attention to myself, I grow confident. I guess I dont outwardly seek relationships, like a lot of the people around me. I'm cool with staying home. I'm not necessarily a relationship person, like a lot of the people around me, either. I work hard and enjoy being self-depedent. I like smoking and watching a movie by myself. I'm cool eating alone at a restaurant. I love treating myself to a Broadway show. I guess, after writing this all out, I'm wondering if anyone can relate? Is this normal? Is a relationship the end goal? Is that what I should strive for? I'm so young, I know, but I feel like an old fucking maid. I'm not sure what I want. But I've seen some single, lonely old men that are just so sad. And I think to myself, "Is that what I want to be?" I'd like to say that, 'I'm just meant to live the Carrie Bradshaw lifestyle!' But Carrie dated and actually slept with people (sometimes regularly too)! Then, she ended up with the guy. I guess I'm just looking for clarity and thoughts. Thanks guys ❤️

So I got a really good offer from an FMCG company for a Performance Marketing position, but the only big dealbreaker that keeps me from taking the offer is that they kept on mentioning in all 3 stages of the interviews that the position needs to be filled up and baka daw I can shorten the 60 days (but they still kept me going through the process anyway). Now I talked with the HR recently and told me the start date will be in June and possibly daw I can find a way to shorten the render period coz "they really want me to be a part of the team."
Tomorrow I'm gonna try to "beg" na baka the new employer can accommodate my 60-day render period coz after asking around within my company (and given the situation my team is in right now - understaffed din kami and I'm also currently leading a major project) parang malabo for me to even request for a terminal leave, let alone to shorten my render period to 30 days at least. But I'm fully prepared na din na they'll respect my rejection sa offer and proceed to look for others kasi knowing na multinational FMCG company sila it's not that hard for them to look for better candidates with shorter notice periods. I just pray and hope na they really want me enough na they'll eventually agree na magstart ako sa July.
Though if ever kaya, if I do decline the offer do employers (especially companies as big as this) have backup candidates to give job offers to if ever the top option decides to not push through? Or do they start the whole process all over again coz they already rejected all the other shortlisted candidates, coz if ever it's the latter baka it's a much more tedious process na mas matagal and mas better for them to wait for me na lang hahaha delulu pala. Though sa bagay I remember that the HR mentioned other shortlisted candidates for the position so if I decline this they have backups din, which is sayang huhu
Eventually dun ko lang narealize that sobrang laking dealbreaker ko just because of the 60 day period, coz very few employers are actually willing to wait for me to finish rendering :(

So I basically married a man who I thought would be the love of my life. We fell pregnant pretty instantly after starting to date. I wanted a life with him all the kids and the family. It progressively has gotten worse. He got into sissy porn, buying masturbation devices behind my back, he even went as far to download a gay app and planned to meetup with a trans woman to have sex. They even planned on inviting a girl to have a threesome. After that event I lost pretty much all respect for him. I forgave him for it. He blamed me said it was because all we had been doing was arguing. Mind you, I had my baby shower 4 days before he left to go on this trip, and he didn’t even show up to his own son’s baby shower. It’s been a nightmare of a time but he apologized and said he wants to make things right and that he messed up really bad. Whatever. Gave him another chance. We moved into a house together. I’m 5 days overdue, baby can be here at any moment. We’ve reached a point in our relationship now where he doesn’t go places with me, won’t ride in a car with me, if I’m driving the car he’s constantly complaining saying how I’m a terrible driver, he never takes me out on dates or asks me to go anywhere with him, he doesn’t want to go to the park with me, doesn’t want to take our dog on walks with me, doesn’t even want to sit and chill on the couch with me cause once I start talking he tells me to be quiet and to leave him alone. I’m pretty sure he’s just giving absolutely no effort at this point, and I keep enabling it and staying out of my love for him. A lot of it has to deal with us about to have our first baby also. Speaking of, I paid for us to attend birthing classes and he only went to 2 of them. Argued with me the entire way there too made it seem like it was unnecessary for him to be there. Anyways. I can’t help but want to seek out other male attention at this point because I am So neglected by my husband during such a vulnerable part of my life. My question is though, what MEN out there would date a woman who just had a child? Is there anyone who would even consider? I’m not even necessarily looking for something super serious. It’s mainly just some sort of flirting, sexting, affection, hugs, company, going out and doing fun things etc. (I’m speaking in terms of whenever I have my baby, after I separate from my husband and give it some time)
I just don’t know anything about the dating world with children. I feel very deprived of love and affection. My husband has acted out many times and I’ve stayed. I can only think at this point of doing the same back to him. I know FWB is a thing, how do men feel about that with a woman who has a child? I guess this post would be seeking advice/support. Cause I’m just a mess at what to do right now.

This is my first script. Please be kind. If it sucks, it sucks, but I had fun writing it nonetheless. Please link me if you use/fill it. I would love to hear your take on it. Free to monetize, Youtube, Patreon, whatever, I just want to hear it. :)
P.S. I know people hate seeing other characters lines a lot -- so I just covered them for other people and if you want to see them, just click on them -- there just little responses that helped me continue writing the script.
Speaker: You are Killian James a.k.a. Hook. Your eyes are the color of the sea, your hair is dark as night, and you are dashing, troubled, and flirtatious. The lilt of an accent gives you a melodic tone, and your personality is dark, playful, and direct. You are comfortable in three-piece suits, and are a dangerous man with many secrets.
Listener: Your name is Wendy. Your friends have convinced you to go to a bar downtown in the more dangerous part of the city due to rumors, only they end up bailing without you. You are going to go home after you finish your drink. The bar is called Never Land, Where, according to your friends rumors, the owner is a mysterious man that they all seem fascinated with. Apparently, he is tall, dark, and handsome – a devil of a man that goes by a strange name. They call him… Hook.

Scene setter: Italics
SpeakeVA: Plain text with "quotes" outside of the sentence/phrases
Internal monologue: Bold/italics
Action of character or SFX: ((Double Parenthesis))
Response from a character: ((pause))

((SFX – The club is above this basement 'torture chamber' area-you can hear the music of the club playing muffled. The basement area is clean and not dungeon-y but is more of a modern torture chamber with drains for easy ah… clean up))
SCENE: There is a man chained/tied up. Hook enters the room, looking almost bored that he needs to be there. He takes off his jacket, handing it to one of his henchmen, leaving the vest on, before he unbuttons his cuffs and starts rolling the sleeves up.
“I’m not pleased that our shipment is late, Mr. Jukes. It was supposed to arrive on a super yacht named the ‘Jolly Roger’ today with a bunch of rich snobs who were none the wiser. Your men guaranteed me that it would arrive with the staff and be loaded off on the dock shortly after, however, that is yet to come to fruition, and I am not a patient man.”

--

((SFX: VA puts on leather gloves, stretches fingers and gets comfortable in them))
“I am aware that they have taken a detour due to a storm, Jukes – but your mismanagement of my time, and my money, are not to be forgotten. Bad form, Jukes! Bad form!”

((SFX: dragging knife sound – //our character uses a tactical Hook knife. It’s typically for gutting deer – not really necessary to know, it’s just to flesh out the character for you//, Hook approaches slowly))
--
“I know it won't happen again. Don’t worry, Jukes, since this is your first time having erred with me, I shall simply leave you with a small reminder. I expect the shipment to be directed to our port swiftly, otherwise,” ((small cruel laugh)) “I won’t be nearly as lenient again.”

((SFX chains straining, screaming that becomes muffled screaming, as Hook takes his knife and leaves the man with a Cheshire Grin/Glasglow Smile up one side of his face, heavy breathing for a moment, as he returns and throws his knife down on the table)) --
“Get me my other three-piece suit from my office and a clean shirt. I’ve got this bastard’s blood all over me. He's not to be given his freedom until I hear that the shipment has come in from the Jolly Roger. If it does not go to plan – we will have to take further, more drastic actions and I don’t want to have to find this cad, Mr. Jukes again. Do I make myself clear?”
((henchmen answer))
“Good.”
((SFX – him pulling off the leather gloves and getting changed))
“One of you stay here and watch him. Tonight I’ll be on the club floor. I’m not to be interrupted until The Crocodile has made contact. Is that understood?”
((pause))
“Good. That is all.”
((he leaves))

((SFX – transition to this however you like))
\*modern day, bar scene/sounds (*no* jazz or classical music - it's a nightclub), people mingling in the background. In enters our VA/Hook.*

“Tinkerbell, pour me my usual, will you, dear?”
((Tink is quick, and slides him his drink. Sip, sigh, and pause as he looks around)) (( This internal thought is not necessary but if you want to, go for it ))
\*internal thought*\** Who’s this? Oh my, sweet lamb, you are definitely in the wrong place.
“Tink, one last thing, could you possibly tell me anything about that young woman there? The one in blue.”
((listening intently for a moment))
“Hm. Lovely. Thank you, dear.”
((SFX – he puts down his drink, footsteps/fine Italian leather shoes approaching the young lady who is at the bar))
“Well, well, well… Isn’t that a beautiful dress on an even more beautiful woman. That color of blue really suits you. You… are a piece of art. A fascinating and intriguing piece of art. However, you don’t quite seem like you belong here.”
((pause))
“Someone as divine as you, as *innocent* as you, dressed as you are, doesn’t really seem to fit in. Not in this kind of place. You look more like you would fit in one of the high-class jazz lounges uptown. Martinis, a piano player, velvet couches and the like. Do you think that you fit in amongst these gentlemen of fortune and these women dressed in their slinky club clothes? Look around, do you see the patrons here?”
((short pause as she looks around))
“Don’t you see? You are simply dressed too elegantly for a place like this. No, you, my dear, are definitely not the type that belongs amongst these fiends. You belong uptown. Not here, amongst the dregs of society like us. Your mannerisms are too graceful, you walk with pride and your chin up – this is not the body language of one of my people.”
((pause))
“Well, I happen to own this establishment, Never Land, so I am rather familiar with the likes of the people who tend to come through its doors, and I have never seen you before. You seem quite unforgettable. Could I have the pleasure of having your name?”
((pause))
“Wendy… What a lovely name for such a lovely woman. Well, Wendy, darling – my name is Killian. My friends call me Hook.”
((pause))
“So many questions! What an inquisitive slip of a thing you are. Perhaps, we could talk over a drink?”
((*VA snaps fingers* Bartender Tinkerbell approaches immediately and waits)) ((ListeneWendy begins to decline))
“Don’t fret, darling. It’s just a drink. Should you find yourself not interested in our conversation or in me, you are more than welcome to leave and go back uptown to the *safe* areas of the city, where the likes of people like me and my ilk will be of no bother to you ever again. But should I pique your interest, perhaps allow me the grace of your presence again in the future.”
((pause))
“Just one drink. And nothing more.”
((ListeneWendy accepts))
“Delightful! Tink, if you could get us another round. One of whatever the lady was drinking, and my usual.”
((short pause as he takes her in before sighing and leaning in closer to speak to her))
“Darling, do tell me, why have you wandered into the seedy underbelly of our city? What is it exactly that you are searching for? Mystery? Intrigue?"
((whispers // into her ear))
"...*Danger*?”
((VA leans back and there is a sly curling of his lips into a crooked smile))
“Mm, that blush really does make me think that you truly are as innocent as I originally thought, Darling. Albeit, I am sure you knew what kind of danger you could get into coming to a place like this. You may be looking for danger, but it seems danger has found you instead.”
((pause))
“Oh, yes, danger. There is plenty of danger here. However, it seems like that’s something you seem to be searching for. Should I inquire as to –“
((VA leans in once more))
“What *kind* of danger you are looking for? See, Darling, that’s the thing about danger… You may only want a little but you never truly know how much you’re going to get.”
((pause))
((VA - practically whispered across her lips or ear, you imagine how close you want to get))
“Ah, yes, Wendy, darling. I happen to be very… Very… Dangerous.”
((Listener steps back))
((he gives a low chuckle))
“Do I … make you … Nervous?”
((short pause and VA steps forward as Listener shakes her head defiantly))
“Or perhaps, I am not the kind of danger you are looking for?”
((closer))
“Do you even *know* what you are looking for, my little lamb?”
((dangerously close to her))
((pause))
((drinks come at this time delivered by Tink – VA returns to less invasive persona))
"Ah, thank you, Tink. You’ve impeccable timing. Shall we? I’d love to take this to a VIP booth I prefer to sit in. It will give us a little more privacy and won’t be as loud. Come now, pet."
((footsteps/music/whatever SFX have them move to a slightly quieter place, sit in a booth))
"Do you mind, Darling? I’d much rather be sitting next to you than across the table. That way I can hear you better. Yes, that’s it, just move in a little further."
((this gives no escape for Listener as James/Hook is between the easy exit and her – SFX of her moving over if you want to get technical and him sitting next to her))
((pause))
“Ah, *that*. The name Hook… It is simply from a childhood long ago. Raised in an orphanage with many other lost boys like myself. It’s a truly heartbreaking story, I’m sure, but I’d like you to remember our first meeting in a different light. Not melancholy and deep, dark secrets. Not yet, anyway. Perhaps, if you decide to embark on a journey with me in the future, or are willing to grace me with your presence again, we can discuss it then.”
((Listener nods, nervously))
((he leans in))
“But you, Wendy, darling –“
((whispered // reaches out to draw a finger down her jawline as he looks from her eyes to her mouth))
“You still haven’t answered me.”
((pause))
“About what *kind* of danger you are looking for…”
((pause // leaning in))
“Are you looking for something – just a wee bit threatening? Perhaps something that will get the heart pumping momentarily?”
((pause // leaning in))
“Or perhaps, a singular thrilling night before the sun rises and the fun is over?”
((pause // leaning in))
“Or… are you looking for something darker? Something much more dangerous. Something soul shattering that will devour you whole? Something that makes you question your morals… Your boundaries… Something that will burn you to ash and will leave you begging me for more even once I break you?”
((kisses Wendy))
“Do you know what kind of danger you want yet, darling? That last one… It is not a wise idea for a sweet little lamb like you, but I promise... You’ll love it.”

Using a throwaway account for reasons. There are also some details whether seemingly important or not that I am omitting for brevity--this is strictly about the subject and the future.
To begin, and to drive right into the complications, I am currently going through a divorce. I was married for 3.5 years or so after being with stbxw for 9 years. We grew through our 20s together and while things were fine in our early 20s we had a lot of issues as we started transitioning into adults. I started a new job last fall and my past relationship with soon to be ex wife was already falling apart and we were also attempting to recover from an affair she had with our old neighbor, she was still having the affair after promising and lying. I am quickly moving on and deserve better. I always was loyal to my wife. Though, we have a 4 year old daughter and spontaneous triplet boys who are about a year old together to boot which is crazy. We started the divorce this past winter.
To back-track, within a month of my new job, which started last summer working as a project manager, a new project coordinator I was partnered with joined the company. We will call her Elle. This woman is insanely out of my league. She is insanely beautiful, smart, kind, mature, etc. and we quickly bonded over the fact that we both lost a parent in the past, my mom in 2014 and her father in 2015. Elle and I formed a strong friendship within our team and I started observing that she cared about my issues quickly.
She is from Chicago and kind of moved out here (AZ) to be with her boyfriend of 2 years or so whom she has a weird broken relationship with. Elle and I quickly got along, we shared similar senses of humor, some similar interests, I found that we had a growing chemistry throughout the fall. Around Thanksgiving and throughout December I started missing her quite a bit--I started noticing within myself that emotional and physical feelings were growing for her. I noticed that we were flirtatious at work quite often and that we had this insane connection when we locked eyes with each other. We were incredibly professional, always were, however it was becoming obvious in the office that we liked each other. A lot.
It was obvious what we were feeling for each other, so in December I confessed to her about how I was feeling and we quickly found that it was very mutual. Obviously there are complications here--I was starting a divorce and she lives and has a relationship with her boyfriend, and he tracks her.
Stbxw is a bit crazy to boot, and the fact that I have children with her is also complicated. However, for the past 4-5 months, Elle and I have kind of ignored our issues. We started coming in earlier and staying later together, getting coffee all the time together. We started hanging out after work parked in the garage and I would buy a bottle of wine and we'd hang out for hours drinking together. Getting really physical at job sites if we were alone. Things were escalating quickly. We started getting physical, making out, tried sex once but the issue for both of us is that she is essentially cheating on her boyfriend no matter how desperately we wanted it. Which is ironically what happened to me with my past relationship. I was just on the other side of it now.
We couldnt help it, our chemistry is really strong and I found myself thinking about her all the time, missing her, wanting to be with her. Same with her. We were sexting a lot and insanely flirtatious. We fell in love with each other. It kept getting stronger. We started talking about actually being in a relationship, hell, even talking about marriage and kids and shit. It was really intense and escalating quickly. She started asking for me to "be patient with her" and that "soon" we would be able to actually start dating, that she "needed to get out and deal with her situation on her own". We were constantly talking about a future together--things were getting serious. Hell, I even bought a nice ring for her as a token of my promise that I am hers. She wasnt, so she says, sleeping with her boyfriend, something I was getting a lot of intrusive thoughts about, we were waiting for each other. I toured an apartment with her as she was planning to move out, i could tell she didnt like it though, was homesick, and i talked to her about moving in with me which at one point was agreed on. But again, complicated.
Early March was the first "real" discussion we had about things though, as January and February were filled with those moments above. It was serious--she felt incredibly guilty for cheating on her boyfriend, saying she was a bad person, confused why she was doing what she was doing and I obviously felt it was wrong as I went through it myself previously and just as well a red flag for myself even if we became a couple I was running the risk of being with somebody capable of that, and we talked about that many times. But there was something obviously missing about her relationship with her boyfriend--they didnt get along and he treated her poorly in the beginning of their relationship that may or may not be a contributing factor to whats going on. She said we should stop, she mentioned she could be going back to Chicago and is seriously confused about her life and us being together, while we feel what we do, was a big step for both of us and I couldnt help but agree. It isnt a simple relationship approach given our "situations", a word that was used frequently between us.
Since then we have tried putting up walls with each other several times--it was and has been very difficult, no matter what we do, we know how we feel about each other and continued--though now we do not hang out in the garage, the sexting stopped a couple weeks ago or so--and now she truly is moving back to Chicago this summer which has put a timer and damper of sadness on this all. She also is moving back there with her boyfriend which is pretty disheartening as some would agree however she doesn't have much money so is kind of using him to get back there and she wants to be with her family and friends. Complicated. I dont know. I dont like it obviously. We attempted to come up with a game plan to mitigate this situation--no matter what we do, we end up getting coffee, spending time talking and seeing each other as much as we can at the office and enjoying our prescences with one another. She didnt request for me to wait for her, but she told me not to forget about her. There have been a couple times she said "who knows, maybe ill move back there and Ill just end up regretting it" and still have that strong feeling of a future together even though this is happening currently. We also need time for ourselves honestly--my divorce and her situation with her family/friends and her boyfriend thing, maybe she needs to re-discover herself in a way. Or she may end up settling with him. Ugh. Any possibility exists.
We still feel the way we do. We love each other and she says no man has ever treated her the way I do, looked at her the way i do--and mutually myself I feel like I have found the woman of my dreams. We honestly are like a power couple together. A true match in personality and looks. It just sucks, we see each other every day, I was semi-promoted so i have a different position now but still work closely together so its very hard and the undeniable chemistry is still there. The way we lock eyes is still there. She comes into my office often and talks to me, spends time with me and we make excuses to be around each other. We just know now that her moving back to her home in Chicago is a reality and WILL be happening now--so we arent talking as often as we used to. It definitely is deflating in a way--though the mutual feelings exist. We both have the feeling that once we "figure out our lives" maybe its something we can revisit. The future can be weird, and even when she leaves this summer I will have that hopeful "someday, one day" feeling about us.
Not really looking for advice, it is what it all is. Just sharing a relationship story.
TL;DR: coworker and I fell in love but things are complicated. we both have messy situations that need to be individually addressed-trying to write more bc post was removed for not having a tldr when it did. Anyway yeah our lives while we have strong feelings arent aligning at the moment

On my way home from a friend's house I go to YouTube to listen to a clip of the show from back in the day. I see a title that reads Pittsburgh Pete and Artie argue. I liked Pittsburgh Pete for the most part so I listened. Well the 1st thing that came on was The news with Lisa. At the time Howard and Robin had not read Arties 1st book. So Artie admitted he attempted suicide by swallowing a incredible amount of pills that would kill a horse. Talk about gallows humor, Howard and Robin joked about it the whole time Artie was telling the story. I loved Howard back then but even for me it was too much. The guy is telling a story about how he tried to kill himself and those 2 are just making jokes and laughing. I thought geez no wonder Robin got cancer. I would love to sit in a room with both of them and replay this clip. Howard and Robin on the basis of this clip alone should apologize to Artie. I won't hold my breath.

I know a lot of people in the world see their local Catholic parishes being empty and elderly, so I wanted to share some hope and share this: I went to the local charismatic parish for their Pentecost Vigil Mass, and it was pretty amazing: Tons of music, a good turnout, and lots of younger people there, even high school youth groups were involved. Also an amazing singer for the Sequence. Livestream at the link. https://www.youtube.com/live/VZljix3KvgE?feature=shared
To head off any objections from traditionalists right away: (1) There is also a TLM and traditional high-mass NO available 3 miles away, as well as a Jesuit parish and a "normal" parish, so nobody is deprived of what they might want. (2) This parish alone provides 1 of 3 seminarians in our diocese, and single-handedly prevents a local priest shortage. (3) They have the bishop's approval for everything they do, and that bishop also goes out on a limb to support the local TLMs. (4) It's not my usual parish and I'm not really a "charismatic catholic" so you'll have to go to somebody else with questions about that. (5) Yes, please, share this video with any non-catholics you know to try to help recruit them. That's why they spend the production money on this. Lots of people won't walk into a church right away, but will watch a video from their home that makes them feel like they are there, in a vibrant and active parish. If this video saves some souls, we have succeeded.

This will be a pretty lengthy post, sorry !
So I’m fairly new to the game (I played on iOS—which I know isn’t exactly the same but still), been playing since 4/1 of this year. I’ve advanced far enough that I’ve upgraded Residential Services, built Nook’s Cranny, moved in the initial three villagers, and upgraded my house five times.
I say all that to show that while I’m still fresh—and have so so so much further to go before I’m even getting stars, let alone five of them (which I’m not sure is my objective, but I digress), and having this immaculate island—I’m starting to get a little frustrated ? by my plateau in progress.
One of my main goals since I unlocked it has been filling my museum with all the creatures possible. I spend hours diving for sea creatures only to find the same things I’ve already discovered; which I know a lot of them are seasonal, so it will take time, it’s just discouraging. I come during all hours of the day and never find any new bugs. I endure wasp sting after wasp sting (bc I’m crap at netting them bc anxiety 💀) hoping to shake a new bug out of trees and no luck.
I know one way to acquiring some of the things I’m looking for (fruits, flowers, etc.) is nook miles tickets so I do my tasks for miles and build up a good amount of miles and invest hella of them (like 25,000+ at this point, for the sole purpose of finding aforementioned items) just to get the same fruit (apples, my native fruit ofc lol; and I’ve gotten cherries twice that I’ve noticed), fossils I’ve already found; hell, even the same fish.
I also know that you can travel to other peoples’ island to get stuff that way, but I feel like a cheater and like I’m not doing the work everyone else has put in to make their islands extravagant and amazing (I almost had an aneurysm when I saw people having giveaways and having their own lil events bc hoooooowww). And if it requires online to do that, I don’t have that yet bc it can’t fit in my budget, as cheap as it is. Or if it requires me to open my island, I’m not ready to do that (if I even can bc idk it if requires online).
It’s all very disheartening and it’s hard to stay motivated to keep playing for any reason other than getting my daily ABD check in and to to check what’s for sale at Nooks and Able Sisters’ (which makes me spend bells I should be saving for upgrades and such). I guess I need advice on how to stay entertained without getting burnout bc I don’t wanna stop playing bc I’m not bored just yet and I also don’t wanna leave so long I have to come back to do major clean up/lose villagers.
Thank you in advance to reading this long winded rant, and for any advice my hardheaded stubborn self can get !
TL;DR: I feel stuck bc nothing new is generating in any category (bugs, fish, sea creatures, fruits and flowers on mystery islands) but I don’t wanna take the easy way out to get them, or if I even can.

Everything in my life, including grooming, has seem to become ridiculously hard. Everything feels so draining. I have family, a fiancé and I have 1-2 friends who live far away, but I feel completely alone. Every dream is a a nightmare, I have a 60 hour work week with a small paycheck, my moments alone are filled with dread, and I absolutely hate being around other people.
My brain is going a million miles an hour at all times. I feel scared, sad, and fried every second of every day. I want to find peace. I want to not feel constant guilt, shame, and worry.
I feel of sound mind and I’m stone cold sober. How does anyone handle this slow, useless march to the grave? It seems like a punishment
I want to cash out

So for context I'm a drinker. I'm not ashamed about it, I've had bad problems with it in the past but I'm genuinely better about it. So about tonight, me and the wife are drinking, she's been on me since I bought the bottle about not drinking to much and fixing my limits, that was early on in the day, after I've cooked and we are playing BG3 she sees our bottle (we have been going shot for shot the entire time) she freaked out about it being empty, I blow her off as she gets really testy when she drinks. She just shuts down the whole evening and goes right to sleep after that. So I get up and grab my phone and go sit on the patio, I'm still sitting here as I type this. Am I the asshole for leaving her in there? I know I drink to much sometimes but I was genuinely trying to have a good night with her and she just saw all of if was gone and blew up on me. ( Just an additive the same thing happened daya ago. All of our bottle was gone we went shot for shot and she got so pissed at me she eventually fell asleep drunk so I just left her in bed passed out and she was mad I "let her sleep all day." So AITAH??
Edit. My leave the wife alone part came after she shut the night down the whole night. I sat outside for 2 hours.

I'm not sure if it was always this way
but i feel like instead of loving someone, I'm just chasing them, trying to prove to them that I'm worth of being liked, let alone loved, and i hate feeling like i can't be sweet toward someone and express my feeling for them because it could be viewed as unattractive
god forbid if you actually like someone, you tell them and actually express your feelings for them
I want to be able to send someone sweet messages, i want someone i can go on a sunset walk with on a whim, and then go home and cuddle and watch movies, wana be able to have someone interested in my day and interest in the things i like, or at least care enough to try and be interested
it makes me feel so ugly to know I'm not an ideal man

I can’t take it anymore. And it’s not that I don’t mind listening and offering support. It’s that it’s the same thing over and over and over and over again and she refuses to do anything about it. When I offer support she doesn’t listen and she’s digging an even deeper hole for herself that she’s never gonna get out of it she keeps going like this. I’ve tried everything but she doesn’t listen. Now, I’ve been going through it myself these past few weeks and been completely emotionally exhausted and shut down for my own reasons. Have barely been talking to ANY friends, and this friend is so clingy, messaging all day every day and when I don’t respond hits me with the “im worried about you are you ok?” And I explain the emotional exhaustion that I need time and space I want to be alone and I don’t want to talk to anyone right now. So then she tells me she needs me and is upset and can she call me so we briefly talk; and it’s the same issue again and im at my wits end here. i’m sure someone in this sub can relate to the emotional exhaustion that im feeling. How do you guys handle this? If you ask me right now I’d say I don’t care about preserving this friendship but I know im not thinking clearly and that whenever I snap out of whatever this is, I’ll say the opposite. At this point I’m just ignoring calls and texts now.

I'm 21 and have never had a boyfriend. Have never even held hands with a guy. It's so shocking when my college friends hear this and people are sort of condescending when I tell them. I have no male friends and my interactions with males is awkward. I think there is something actually wrong with me because when I find out a guy likes me I'm disgusted.. not with them.. but with myself. The idea of a man perceiving me as attractive makes him less attractive to me because I have such a low opinion of myself. I can't talk to guys at all btw, but steadfastly make friends w/ other women. Not being able to interact with the opposite sex is going to be a problem in the long-run since I want to become a physician in the future... and oh boy, it's just going to be harder to get in a relationship from here.
I can only make friendships with guys online... its so easy.. like in video games where the stakes are low. IRL I'm just too self-conscious. The one and only time I fell 'in love' (was never explicitly mentioned by me bc I kept it friendly/professional) was with a foreign guy that I met on a language exchange app. He was just so smart and kind, and he was the only guy I'd ever really told my true opinions about things.. but I was catching feelings for someone across the globe with completely different dreams from a completely different culture so I just told him I was taking a break from the app ..
Besides that, I think female friendships are just better and we have more to talk about.
I'd rather be alone forever than be in bad company. I want to find THE ONE. not just someone.. but my whole perception of romance is f'ed up. I also have unrealistic standards for a man... It's not like I want him to make 6 figures and be 6'5. no.. i just want him to be smart, ambitious and morally outstanding. Like, the idea of having a husband/bf watching porn.. an immediate ick to me and would ruin my perception of that person. Moreover, even though I'm feminine appearing my mindset is extraordinarily masculine, which I feel would cause a clash if I were with a really masculine guy. It's weird, but I desire to be the one protecting my husband. I wouldn't be the type to be turned off by the guy being vulnerable. I'm pragmatic.
What I want from a man more than anything is not even sexual attraction but respect. I just have so much love to give but Im afraid I won't find someone truly compatible with me. I know that if I married someone, so long as that person did not change out of their own choice, I would never leave them. Im sorry for this rant lol, idk what I'm even getting at, but I can't tell any of this to my friends because they simply wouldn't understand. Maybe I just take myself too seriously.

Well, let me just say that i have few friends who are preparing for big competitive exams in my college (upsc,judiciary,cat etc). And everyone is pretty open about what coaching are they taking, how manh hours do they study and what problems they’re facing etc etc. But when it comes to upsc aspirants, they will literally blatantly refuse to acknowledge that they are enrolled in a coaching let alone tell you the name. . I mean in my own friend circle and someone who i consider myself close to as well, she just shuns me down whenever i ask her what’s going on w her prep. This coming from even when she knows i am also preparing for the same exam and we could atleast discuss questions/ syllabus etc. I sometimes ask her that what classes are currently going on in her coaching, she just says “main toh jaa hi nahi rahi” when she literally snaps about the same shit later. Bhai matlab if you tell me ki kaunsi class le rhe ho will i become AIR1 or what? What’s the use of this much competitiveness amongts own friends? I hate people like this! Hate them! ps - kya maloom sirf mere friends hi aise ho 🤡

For a bit of context, the last 4 years, my father was very sick with a multitude of illnesses. Heart disease, kidney failure, possible lung cancer, etc. etc. Even before this, he was an abusive man. Physically, especially when we were younger but verbally when we got older. He died just last summer, and all the problems we ignored are bubbling up. I have become a sort of therapist for my family during this time. Which is a bit inappropriate considering I was only 16 when this all started. Now on to the actual issues. This all started over something stupid, a cardgame, I asked my mom if she was willing to playa game after dinner with my younger sibling, who i will now refer to as Saturn, and myself. She agreed until dinnertime came around and she got a horrible migraine. She went up to bed after dinner to hopefully ride out the migraine. I of course was a little disappointed but I didn't make a big deal out of it. I get migraines too and know how bad they can get. Saturn went upstairs shortly after. I was left alone downstairs by myself with all of our family photos and my mind started to wandor back to my dad. He wasn't the best father but he loved us the best he could. And on nights like this he would have played with us instead and I got stuck on memory lane amd got emotional. Whenever I get emotional I go non-verbal. So fast forward an hour or so and mom comes down. I am still non-verbal and she notices something us wrong. She questions me but u can't talk. She gets upset that I can't answer her. Saturn comes down and I text them so they can talk to mom. Mom gets upset again that I was upset. Something important is that we never do anything I suggest. I express interest in something and she says she'll take me and never does. I brought this up to her. She said she'll work on it. She didn't. She than goes off on a rant about how she is trying hard to be good mother and that we don't appreciate it and that she most be a failure all because she has a migraine. We try to explain that no, we aren't upset. You wanted to know why I was upset and didn't wait to let her explain. She goes upstairs. Saturn and myself sit in the living room seething. We go uo to try to talk to her. And she is very impatient and flippant. I am not aloud more than two words at a time. The worst part is that everything that happened tonight I have talked to her about before. She promises to change and never does. I am sick of fixing everyone else's problems and shouldering all of the emotional baggage for everyone in my family. If I show any emotion that isn't joy or numbness I am yelled at. I am belittled. I am told that I am overreacting and that I need to get myself under control. I am sick and tired of being everyone's emotional and verbal punching bag. I wasn't even mad about the migraine. I just missed my dad. He may not have been the best father but he was still my dad. And it wasn't all bad. He got worse after he got sick.She didn't even let me explain before rushing off upstairs. She only stayed for 10 minutes. I can't take this anymore.

i have no friends. sometimes i feel like i’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.
i’m posting this because i just want to vent and have no one else to talk to about it. i’m currently a sophomore in high school and i don’t have any close friends. i’ve never been to a party, or a football game, or hoco. i really want to but i have no one to go with. i’ve never had a boyfriend or even kissed a guy. i haven’t hung out with someone outside of school since 8th grade. i’m done and i’m not sure how much more of this i can take.
i move around a lot and moved right before my freshman year. i always felt left out in my friendships before but i’ve never been completely alone like this. it’s horrible and a pain i wouldn’t wish on anyone.
while being alone at school sucks, sometimes i think that coming home is the worst part of my day. i have a decent relationship with my parents but i feel like they are disappointed in the person that i am. i have a brother and sister and they are both super social and have lots of friends. they are out every weekend and my parents always ask me if i’m doing anything. it’s always a no. i can see how disappointed they are in me every time i tell them that. i feel like the biggest loser ever. my brother always makes fun of me for being alone at lunch. my parents hold it against me. my mom uses things that i have told her to guilt me into going out. she’ll say, “if you hate not having friends so much than maybe you should go to the winter formal.” but she doesn’t get it. it’s not like i’m choosing this. no one wants to be friends with me.
i’ve met so many girls that i thought i would become friends with but they ended up ghosting me.
i guess i’m just ready to graduate. but the day that comes i’ll be sad about how i wasted my high school years.

(note: this is an extremely self-absorbed and long-winded post centered on comparing my upbringing to my husband's upbringing and it contains mentions of eating disorders and lots of whining. This is word vomit, is not of value, and I will probably delete this soon).
Sometimes it's the little things that make me realize how... slightly different my upbringing was... in comparison to people who grew up with healthy siblings. For me, it was nostalgic school pizza.
I ate school lunch every day. Packing? Lol, no. My husband? He told me tonight that he never, like as in never ever, ate school lunch. His mom packed for him every single day - he got special sandwiches and casseroles and even sushi once or twice. Therefore, he has no nostalgia for school pizza, whereas I do, and I am about to spend $50 on some brand of pizza that apparently tastes just like it.
My husband was raised differently than me. He was raised by upper middle class parents, including his mom being SAHM for his entire life, and he and his sibling were both healthy their entire lives. My parents both worked in law enforcement/social work adjacent jobs, both working nights sometimes, and they had city and nonprofit pay, aka we were probably lower middle class. I also had an extremely ill sibling for the duration of middle school and the first year of high school.
As a child, my husband was never left alone. He didn't stay home alone until he was 14. He never had to stay alone for days and weeks like I did. We lived in a rural area too, so I was far from town and couldn't go anywhere. While my sibling was hospitalized two hours away or at various appointments, they'd come home late at night most days. There were weeks in the summer where they were home maybe 6 hours a week and I was alone with neighbors and my aunt checking in every other day. Sometimes they sent me to day camp in the summer and I'd be the last one picked up. I always went to day camp because I suspect overnight camp cost too much - my sibling's illness was expensive. If I wasn't at day camp, I was alone all the time during summer and after school. This lasted four years.
Honestly, it wasn't that bad at the time. I felt like it was my house and I walked the dogs and stayed up late and ate frozen foods and went swimming in our above ground pool. I had two close friends in the neighborhood and I'd spend time with them when I could. I got a job when I was 15 and my friend's mom picked me up and drove me back and forth from work until I got my license. I was online A LOT and was in chat rooms and meeting randos on message boards as young as 12. I even got into web design and taught myself a few basic programming languages. Honestly, I was kind of raised by the Internet
I also ate school lunch every day. I know how to poke a milk bag perfectly. I am constantly nostalgic for the nuggets, pizza, and Bosco sticks of my middle and high school cafeterias. My parents would give me money at the beginning of the week and I'd map my school lunch plan out. Lunch was the highlight of my day for awhile. I ate a lot of Bosco sticks. My school also had a vending machine, so I drank lots of Dr. Pepper too. I honestly got pretty fat. Until I wasn't, because somehow (the Internet), I calculated the calories of everything at my school cafeteria, and then only nutrigrain bars and an apple were safe. I ate Bosco sticks at least weekly though - I craved them even when I was starving myself. I just didn't usually keep them down and I'll leave it at that.
School pizza though. School pizza isn't tainted like Bosco sticks. It was different pizza every week in high school so I never knew the calories. Thus I didn't eat it after first semester of high school. Even after I was "recovering" and my sibling got better, meaning suddenly I wasn't being raised by the Internet anymore, I avoided school pizza. The memories I have are from 2000 and pizza day at my elementary school stands as a consistently pleasant memory. I make pizzas now. Good pizzas. I love pizza. I've made it for my husband, parents, and sibling.
Never school pizza though.
I want to try $50 nostalgic pizza.
My husband says it's probably gross and not worth $50.
He never had to do meal planning when he was 12 and alone for weeks at a time though.

I'm using Rocky5 on my Xbox. The first time I used it I was using DHCP with the IP 192.168.0.6. Since then I've started using a different network setup and I want it to use 192.168.6.10. You'd expect this to be a simple process: Set a static lease on the router and problem solved, right?
Well not so much. For whatever reason my Xbox constantly changes its MAC address. My router likes to save the IP reservation of every device it sees in case that device reappears and I have over 30 IPs registered from the last 48 hours alone (And as if to rub it in OPNSense has no bulk delete for IP reservations so I Have to delete them all one. at. a. f\cking. time.*).
So use a static IP then? Again not so fast. Somehow it remembers that it wants to use DHCP and it still wants to change the MAC. I changed it un UnleashX and only UnleashX changed. It uses its own config file so no surprises there. Maybe everything else is pulling from the EEPROM? Install MS Dash and change it there. Now MS Dash and UnleashX work but every other program wants to use DHCP and its own MAC. Hmm, maybe ShadowC is getting in the way? It appears I can only disable ShadowC in R5 Extras and it reenables on restart so go nuclear and reset the softmod. MS Dash now still wants to use DHCP and somehow remembers .0.6 (Which was assigned through DHCP by the way). I change it to static .6.10 the way I want with Insignia DNS and everything. Reinstall Rocky5 and... Nope. UnleashX still wants to use DHCP and switching it to Static makes it want to use .0.6 with .0.1 as gateway and sole DNS. But what about MS Dash? Reinstall it and it finally worked. MS Dash, and only MS Dash, remembers what i want it to be.
I have backups of my C (Real and Shadow) and E drives. I see 192.168.0.6 and DHCP enabled in Real C's RecoveryDash's UnleashX config and E's title data 218585554 in a bunch of xmls under nkpatcher settings. Are these in that Xbox Softmod DO NOT DELETE save? If I revert my softmod and nuke that will that finally put this problem to rest? Or is there a way to at least make the console use a stable MAC so I can force a reservation that'll stick?