Mirda cosgrove talking about her religion

Bad Rhetoric

2014.07.02 02:32 FouRPlaY Bad Rhetoric

A place for citizens of the racoon nation, who scour the trashcans of speech and politics. Looking for weapons of mass destruction. Putting pepper spray on our breakfast, and adopting the forgotten boy scouts. Our homes are filled with plenty of alley cats, and our baskets are deplorable.There may be peace between man and fish, but we are Trash pandas.
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2024.05.18 21:52 Jaded-Mycologist-831 Anyways here’s poems + History Boys

Tissue
Polysemous title- Tissue • Tissue- paper + skin (human life is fragile [criticises arrogance, encourages us to protect]) • Also paper (not alive) + skin (alive)- criticises monotony of life, not really living • Tissue paper- found in bibles and holy texts, but fragile (overinflated importance of identity causing wars and discrimination, really it’s very fragile and identity isn’t real, we’re all just people (tissue as in skin)) • Tissue- used to wipe away tears, togetherness can reduce suffering • Tissue- medical term for deep skin- poem shows deeper nature of humans and our potential for goodness, can be wounded and damaged by outside influences but can always heal
"Paper that lets the light shine through, this is what could alter things" - reference to religious texts paper, light as Jesus and Allah (power of religion) - or coexistence with nature (Dharker is a Muslim Calvinist)
Enjambment- freedom, lack of control of humans, rejecting constraints
Free verse- same thing
"Let the daylight break through capitals and monoliths" - power of nature, criticism of authority, weakness of humans- “break” violent personification, destroying authority, daylight + break = sunrise + hope
"The sun shines through their borderlines" - nature overcomes human segregation identity, criticism of war, power of nature) sibilance shows power, “their” still shows separation, criticise that
"fly our lives like paper kites" - childish metaphor, mocking control of money over life (criticism of authority)
"the back of the Koran" - “the” repetition shows importance, “back” shows it is hidden/shunned by society, still holding onto identity
"Transparent" - repetition, criticism of dishonesty of authority
Exposure
"Merciless iced east winds that knive us" - personification of wind shanking people (first line not about war but nature- more significant) (power of nature)- subtle sibilance (just as dangerous as bullets but most people don’t realise)- Germans were in the east, but the only thing from there is wind
ABBAC rhyme, structure is built only to be taken down (tension of soldiers expecting fight but let down)
Pararhyme- unsatisfying for reader, reflects how the soldiers are always nervous but never get to chill
“What are we doing here?” Rhetorical question to criticise authority, or actual question to show PTSD confusion, can be asking what they are DOING or why they are HERE
"For love of God seems dying" ok 1. The soldier's love of God is dying 2. God's love for the soldiers is dying 3. To show love of God, you should die
"forgotten dreams" - juxtaposition, loss of hope, forgotten dreams on purpose to be less sad? war made them forget? “forgotten” disassociated from PTSD, “dreams” as happiness from the past that seems unreal
“a dull rumour of some other war" reference to the Bible and Armageddon, metaphorical end of the world for the soldiers be suffering "sudden successive flights of bullets streak the silence" - sibilance represents sound of bullets, jolting reader out of relative lack of noises, feel like soldiers
Epistrophe "but nothing happens" cyclical structure, stuck in suffering
“we” “us” “our” collective pronouns, shared experience, comradeship, loss of identity, relatable to all soldiers
Kamikaze
Title- single word, only military rank- only seen as a kamikaze pilot by others
Structure- 6 lines per stanza but free verse and lots of enjambment- conflict between control and freedom (military/social expectations/duty vs love for family/nature/memories/life)
Constant shifts between first person and third person- disconnect from family due to shame
“Her father embarked at sunrise” -sunrise as power of nature + Japan’s military flag- conflict
“a shaven head full of powerful incantations” -incantations are deliberately vague- orders from military? prayers? inner conscience against it? It’s “powerful” tho and influences him, and it’s “full” showing his distress, shaved head like most kamikaze pilots
“green-blue translucent sea” beautiful imagery, “translucent” shows how things are unclear but getting clearer- nature helps him decide what to do
Describes fishes “like a huge flag”- patriotic semantic field shows brainwashing, but reduces as the poem goes on, simile shows how he is starting to disconnect and change his mind,
also as “a figure of eight”- shows thoughts of pride and prosperity-
“The dark shoals of fishes/flashing silver as their bellies/swivelled towards the sun” - • sibilance shows ocean noises and beauty, “dark” -> “flashing silver” things get brighter and easier to see- knows what to do thanks to nature • “Silver”- medals he would have gotten for being a kamikaze pilot, but true reward is in nature • “Sun”- represents beauty of nature and also Japanese flag- conflict but now there’s also nature in the mix • Belly up- death on his mind
“bringing their father’s home safe/-yes, grandfather’s boat- safe” repetition of “safe” shows reason to come back- wants to return to family, memories
“a tuna, the dark prince, muscular, dangerous.” • first mention of danger = power in the whole poem, danger to the mission as it causes the pilot to have doubts, true power is in nature and memory • First full stop in the poem and lots of commas- makes us stop and think like the pilot about what he’s abt to do
“laughed” “loved” at the end of the poem- all in past tense- nothing left for the soldier
“we too learned to be silent”- “learned” should be positive but contrasts with what they learnt- criticises how they were taught shame by the older generations- but it’s said in first person, the daughter is criticising this and teaching her children not to think that way
Poppies
Title- honours and grieves dead soldiers, short single word title shows full intent of the poem and how the mother’s life is consumed by grief
Dramatic monologue- emphasis on the domestic impact and how the soldier isn’t present in the poem
Free verse, enjambment- chaotic, lack of control over the son, distressed
Domestic + military semantic fields- life has been ruined by war
“Spasms of paper red, disrupting a blockade of yellow bias”- mix between war + domestic • “spasms” and “red” is injury and pain- mother is worried or is hurt by letting go (spasms is involuntary muscle action- involuntary letting go), • “paper” is the fragility of the son • “blockade” is military language showing her worry abt the conflict, how she wants to “block” her son from going into the military • “disrupting” the fabric - the son becoming a soldier disrupts the peace or she is trying to disrupt him from going to war
“The dove pulled freely against the sky, / an ornamental stitch”- dove represents peace and grief- she and her son is at peace with death, “pulled freely” is an oxymoron- inner conflict with grief or letting her son go, the comma shows a pause to reflect on the grief, the “ornamental stitch” metaphor for the mother (pretends to hold it together)
“I was brave”- takes down ideas of just the soldier’s bravery but also the mother’s, but past tense shows current weakness from grief
“Sellotape bandaged around my hand” • Bandage shows wounds • Sticks them together one last time- cat hairs are removed, no more reason to stay • Claustrophobic feeling- stuck in the domestic role, can’t go and protect the son
“Blackthorns of your hair”- religious connotations of Jesus on the cross, sacrificed for the country- metaphor for the son
History Boys
"Enemy of education" war metaphor and alliteration, opposition between true understanding of literature and grades only used shallowly “Cheat’s Visa”
"a fact of life" indisputable and unchangable, in opposition with Irwin's views on history (truth does not matter to him until now?)
Drummer Hodge: Intertextuality, Tom Hardy (the poet) represents Hector, sympathising with the ordeal of the youth, Drummer Hodge represents the Boys, thrown into the chaos of life without proper guidance
"She's my western front" war metaphor objectifies Fiona, personal pronoun further expresses how women were seen as objects to be owned
“... all the other shrunken violets you people line up" [you people] segregates gay people, [shrunken violets] derogatory language
"Some of the literature says it will pass" looking to literature for solace and comfort during a sexuality crisis
"All literature is consolation" Dakin changes his mind on literature symbolising him changing to Irwin's side. No need to look for solace in literature when he can pursue Irwin
Parallels with "all knowledge is precious" from Hector - A.E. Housman, one of the first intertextualities and used in the intro to establish his character
“cunt-struck” “a cunt”- Mrs Lintott repeats the colloquialism “cunt” twice, to describe Dakin as “cunt-struck” and Headmaster as “a cunt”. This is the hardest swear in the play and is used show that it wasn’t a slip of the tongue, and to break down stereotypes of women being gentle and passive
“history is women following behind with the bucket” - her big scene about women in history at the end of the play (which is typical for Alan Benett’s plays such as “Kafka’s Dick”) so it would be recent and stay in the audience’s mind when the show ended
Irwin intro as politician in the future "etc., etc." while talking abt freedom- that man gives no fucks about freedom really, just waffling on (first impression for the audience too!!)
Parallel with Holocaust debate- Lockwood uses the SAME EXACT PHRASE while talking abt how the holocaust was bad, (dismissiveness of mass genocide? in this education system? it’s more likely than you think) then goes on to argue that they should be unique with their arguments- Irwin passed on thr mindset even on such an important subject
Hector is set up to be looking cool and all (motorcycle scene dramaticness, greek name connotations, fav teacher) but is absolutely uncool when we get to know him- purposeful? "studied eccentricity" and all. clinging onto youth?
Posner is actually rather helpful as the "dictionary person" bc i doubt the audiences know what "otiose" means
SCRIPPS IS THE MOST RELIGIOUS ONE AND CLOSEST TO POSNER it can dismantle the idea that religion is against queerness
Irwin didnt know how nietzche was pronounced bc from what we know of him he would call Dakin out on that
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2024.05.18 20:31 hornysuguru I seriously cannot put up with my dad’s personality disordered girlfriend anymore

I (18F) started living with my dad (46M) and his girlfriend (42F) almost a year ago. Before that I only saw my dad a few times in my whole life as I can remember. My parents got divorced when I was 5 and my dad moved to another country after that and when I was around 10 years old I stoped talking to my dad entirely because we found out about his secret marriages. Until I was 17 I lived with my mom, older sister and grandparents. My older sister moved with my dad after she finished high school because the future of my country is not that bright. And I did the same when I was 17. My older sister moved out of my dad’s house so that his girlfriend could move in. Two years after that occurred, I moved in with them. At the beginning it was very uncomfortable for me because my dad acted like him and my relationship is great and his girlfriend was annoyingly nice to me. Neither of them tried to make me comfortable and gave me my personal space. They just couldn’t understand that they were both complete strangers to me. Back then we were living in a one bedroom apartment together and the bedroom was mine but all their stuff was always there. No one had any personal space. My dad wouldn’t give me enough allowance to spend a whole week with. And he was earning a lot. I never ate his girlfriend’s food because it always looked, smelled, tasted disgusting. So I always made my own food but he would get me the food that I wanted. His girlfriend would be so pissed off any time I made my own food because “what was wrong with hers”. We have a dog and they would always yell at the poor little dog. My dad used to beat him as my sister told me. And I saw his girlfriend hitting him once and she got pissed off because I made this a huge deal. My dad sided with her of course. They said I would’ve understood why they hit the dog only if I took care of him. But I do take care of the dog and he never bites me or anything. He just has some issues because of their behaviour towards him. When I would come in to the house, while going into my room I would just greet them with a simple “hi” and that became a huge deal for his girlfriend. My dad would always warn me about my cold behaviour. I was not cold. I just had nothing to talk to with two strangers. They were arguing a lot during that time and it was all because I was not talking to his girlfriend. Why isn’t a simple hi and a smile not enough? She completely ignores me most of the time. I was doing even too much. When me and my dad would argue, she would call me older sister, who has nothing to with this, and starts yelling at her. His girlfriend would get mad whenever I talked to my mom on the phone. It was not like I was talking to her in front of them. I always talked to my mom in my room quietly so that they wouldn’t hear a thing when I could easily hear everything they do. By everything, I mean everything. Their bed was in the living room and there was only a very thin wall between my room and the living room. During some nights, I could hear them having intimacy. I could hear everything detailed. And sometimes my dad would joke about it. Their voice kept me awake so many nights. After 3 months of living with them I had to go back to my home country, to my mom, to my home. I stayed there for another 3 months and came back to the hell hole to begin my school life there.
When I came back, all my stuff from my room was removed and they immediately moved into my room. I had to sleep in the fcking living room like a dog. Even our dog was sleeping in the bedroom with them now. After a month later we moved to a bigger house and everyone had their room now. But still, somehow all their arguments were because of me. I always had a cheerful extrovert personality but with them. I never even talked to them properly. I never caused any reason for them to argue. Their first one after I came back was because I wanted to clean my own room now. She said that it’s a woman’s job to clean the house and it was her house so that was her job. I was literally doing her a favour. She used to clean the apartment once in a month. I cannot keep living in such a disgusting place. I am doing my own laundry, cleaning my own room, cooking my own food, and I was never around to disturb anyone. I am always in my room. I wouldn’t used to lock my door while leaving or at nights. But after their argument a few weeks ago, I just started doing that. She smear me and my mom on trying to break my dad and her up and after that allegedly I was going to make my dad and mom a couple again so that my mom could move to this country. And she even said that she had voice recordings of my conversations with my mom. My mom absolutely hates my dad. Mom swears that the next time she sees my dad she’s going to kill him. Not that she’s actually going to do it. But she just hates him so much. And I totally understand. Apparently my dad was an abusive, manipulative misogynist during their marriage. And anyone who spends just an hour with my dad can easily see that this is correct. After I learned that his girlfriend smeared me with such stupid things, I started locking my door. You can never know what she could do to my room. She could create fake evidence to proof her lies. I have to always think these things now. And now me locking my room became a huge deal. My dad and his girlfriend are not in the home today and I had to go somewhere. While I was outside for literally 30 minutes, they came home for a few minutes and saw that I left my door open. And a while ago my dad called me angrily because my door was open and his girlfriend got mad because of that. He told me to either keep it locked all the time or open all the time. Whenever he talks to me, he talks about his girlfriend badly, but warns me to be a better girl to her. I literally cannot be any better. I am not allowed to take a shower while she’s at home, after I take a shower I have to dry the floor with a towel because it gets “so wet”, I cannot come home after they go to bed, I cannot leave my room when it’s only her and me at home, my dad doesn’t fcking talk to me when his girlfriend is at home because the attention on her moves to me for a few seconds, I cannot use kitchen while she’s using it, I have to be extra kind to her when she’s on her period but nobody cares about it when I am on mine. Once they had a really big argument because I didn’t say “Ramadan Mubarek” to her on Ramadan. They call themselves Muslim but they do everything that is haram. I’m not judging anyone’s way of religion but you cannot seriously expect me to say “Ramadan Mubarak” to you after you live a life like this. If she wanted to say that to me I would also say that back to her. And during that time for some reason nobody knows, she didn’t talk to me or even looked at my face for 3 days. So why the f would I talk to her now? She told my dad that if he’s paying my yoga membership, he had to pay her sports membership too. She doesn’t do any sports or go to gym or anything. I’m so f*ing sick of always have to be kind to her. She introduces me as her daughter to people but treats me no better than a stray dog. She always called me and my sister disrespectful and probably some other insults. I cannot understand what they are saying while arguing because they use a foreign language that I don’t know. I don’t have to put up with any of these. Whenever my dad talks to me it’s always about her. Everything is about her. And don’t get me wrong I’m not jealous of the attention or anything. I’m just so sick of me being the black sheep when I’m absolutely not doing anything wrong. And I swear I’m not doing anything wrong. But I’m always to blame. This is so frustrating.
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2024.05.18 19:27 Yurii_S_Kh Monotheism. Part 2: Judaism

Monotheism. Part 2: Judaism
Part 1
Judaism: a Retreat from Biblical Monotheism
The history of the Jewish people is clearly divided into two periods: before and after the expiatory death of Jesus Christ. As the Sacrifice for the sins of the world had not yet been carried out, Old Testament history continued, the entire meaning of which consisted in waiting and preparation to meet the coming Savior. Messianic expectations were particularly pronounced during the last decades before the arrival of the Savior into the world. People not only in Jerusalem, but also in other cities and villages of Palestine, waited for the Messiah foretold in the Holy Scripture.
Christ and the Pharisees
Time was fulfilled. The Messiah came, but Jewish leaders, Pharisees, and Sadducees condemned him to death. But why were the Pharisees, Sadducees, and scribes offended? Why was it enough for the Samaritan woman to reveal the secret side of her life for her to gladly believe that the traveler standing beside her, weary from the road and asking her for water, was Christ (see John 4:42)? Why did the Pharisees and scribes, who were witnesses to the magnificent miracles performed by Jesus and knew the Scriptures better than anyone else, stubbornly refuse to recognize Christ? Finally, one more question: why did they hate Him, despite the fact that he delivered many people from terrible disease and suffering?
The answer must be sought in the peculiarities and character of the spiritual life of the leaders of Israel. Religious life demands of a person self-attentiveness, moral sensitivity, humility, and pure intentions. Without this, the heart gradually hardens. A change inevitably occurs, the consequences of which are spiritual death.
Already before the beginning of our Savior’s Gospel of the Heavenly Kingdom, the Jews had begun to imagine the Messiah as a powerful earthly king, who would exalt them above all nations and make them wealthy and powerful. This concept of the Messiah corresponded to their spiritual and moral condition.
For a proper understanding of the prophecy inspired by the Holy Spirit, not doctrinal erudition, but pure, uncorrupted faith was necessary.
The consciousness of lawyers and scribes, corrupted by sin, did not notice the parts of the Old Testament in which the spiritual qualities of the promised Messiah are given: "behold, thy King cometh unto thee: he is just, and having salvation; lowly, and riding upon an ass, and upon a colt the foal of an ass" (Zech. 9:9); " Behold my servant, whom I uphold; mine elect, in whom my soul delighteth; I have put my spirit upon him: he shall bring forth judgment to the Gentiles. He shall not cry, nor lift up, nor cause his voice to be heard in the street. A bruised reed shall he not break, and the smoking flax shall he not quench: he shall bring forth judgment unto truth" (Isa. 42:1-3; cf.: Matt. 12:20).
Despite all the seemingly multifaceted events preceding the trial of the Savior of the world, there is only one reason for such a grave sin to have been committed—the people were rooted in sin and loved it. They seethed with anger at He who had come to the world to conquer and destroy sin.
After Christ the Messiah, who came to save the world, was slandered, profaned, and put to death, the spiritual death of the chosen people began. The Lord Jesus Christ spoke to the Hebrews directly, "He that hateth me hateth my Father also" (John 15:23). This means that the monotheism of the Hebrew leaders became entirely formalistic.
In literature, Old Testament religion, which ends with the conclusion of the New Testament, and Judaism, are often confused. This association is completely wrong. The expectation of the Messiah, which permeated the centuries-long history of the religion of the descendants of the Prophet Moses, ended. The goals and aspirations of the Hebrews, led by the Pharisees and Sadducees, stayed on Earth. Earthly well-being, wealth, success, and power became core values. In keeping with these, they imagined the anticipated Messiah.
However, the prophets foretold the coming of another Messiah—the Suffering Messiah. The Prophet Isaiah, who is called the "Old Testament Evangelist" (see Saint Jerome, Letter to Paulinus) because of his many prophesies and the precision of their fulfillment in Jesus Christ, speaks about this with impressive clarity and precision.
What then is the true Messiah? "He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth: he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb, so he openeth not his mouth… for the transgression of my people was he stricken. And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; because he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his mouth. Yet it pleased the Lord to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the Lord shall prosper in his hand" (Isa. 53:7-10).
Were the Jews familiar with this chapter of the great prophet? Not all of them. Usually during weekly readings at the synagogue this chapter is omitted. Here is an excerpt from the memoirs of Rosa Price, who survived the horrors of several Nazi concentration camps and accepted Jesus Christ. Her daughter became a follower of the Savior Jesus, but she adhered to old misconceptions. "I ran to the rabbi. He would tell me different Scriptures with which to challenge my family. In response, they would give me five more. At the urging of my family, I asked the rabbi about Isaiah 53. He said, “No Jew reads that, especially not a Jewish woman.” So I couldn’t read it. The same for Psalm 22. There are 328 prophecies of the coming of the suffering servant Messiah. I asked the rabbi about almost all of them. Finally, the rabbi told me not to come to the synagogue anymore because I had read him Isaiah 53" (Rosa Price. The Survivor // Sid Roth. They Thought for Themselves. WWP, 2007).
How did the lawyers, who knew many parts of the Old Testament Bible by heart, explain the chapter? In the period of the Talmud's formation, the scribes recognized that the 53rd chapter was a prophecy of the Messiah's coming. However, beginning with the famed Hebrew exegete Rashi (Rabbi Shlomo Yitzchaki; 1040 - 1105), rabbis assert that the 53rd chapter speaks of the Jewish people. A simple reference to the text can refute this belief.
  • "Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows" (Isa. 53:4). Whose grief did the Jewish people take on and whose sorrows did they carry?
  • "With his stripes we are healed" (Isa. 53:5). Who has been healed by the wounds of the Jewish people?
  • "For the transgression of my people was he stricken" (Isa. 53:8). If it is speaking of the Jewish people, then who suffered punishment for the transgressions of the Jewish people?
  • "And he made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death" (Isa. 53:9). When and in which grave are the Jewish people buried?
In the holy Old Testament books there are signs of the appearance of Christ (the Messiah) and in it are described his chief characteristics. Of the prophecies on the coming of Christ into the world in the Old Testament, before all else it is necessary to note the vision of the prophet Daniel, foretelling even the year of the Savior's death. “Seventy weeks are determined upon thy people and upon thy holy city, to finish the transgression, and to make an end of sins, and to make reconciliation for iniquity, and to bring in everlasting righteousness, and to seal up the vision and prophecy, and to anoint the most Holy. Know therefore and understand, that from the going forth of the commandment to restore and to build Jerusalem unto the Messiah the Prince shall be seven weeks, and threescore and two weeks: the street shall be built again, and the wall, even in troublous times. And after threescore and two weeks shall Messiah be cut off, but not for himself: and the people of the prince that shall come shall destroy the city and the sanctuary; and the end thereof shall be with a flood, and unto the end of the war desolations are determined" (Dan. 9:24-26). Week (seven) is understood as 7 years, and 70 sevens consists of 490 years. It is the timeframe for the "end of sin." Here, we are talking about Christ the Savior's atonement for people who have violated the will of God and fallen from grace. In the prophecy, the Messiah is directly indicated ("to anoint the most Holy"). To calculate the amount of time given here, one must turn to historical sources, noting the reconstruction of the city of Jerusalem, which fell as a result of the Babylonian destruction in 586. The count of seventy sevens begins from the date of the reconstruction of Jerusalem. The decree for the restoration was given by Artaxerxes Longimanus in the 20th year of his reign. He came to the throne between December 18, 465 and December 18, 464 BC. The seventh year of his reign, from which the countdown of weeks begins, comes in 458 or 457. From this time period to the time of the appearance of Christ our Lord, 69 weeks (483 years) should pass.
The Forerunner of the coming of the Messiah is also mentioned in the Old Testament. "Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he shall come, saith the Lord of hosts" (Mal. 3:1). Dwellers in Palestine knew the Holy Scripture and saw in John, who preached repentance, the Angel of the Covenant predicted by the prophets. Thus, people from all of Jerusalem and all the outskirts of the Jordan came to him (see Mark 1:5).
In the holy books of the Old Testament, there are prophecies of all of the main events in the life of Jesus the Messiah. The prophet Micah identified the place of birth: "But thou, Bethlehem Ephratah, though thou be little among the thousands of Judah, yet out of thee shall he come forth unto me that is to be ruler in Israel; whose goings forth have been from of old, from everlasting" (Mic. 5:2).
The Word of God demonstrated the great spiritual gifts of the future Anointed One. "And there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a Branch shall grow out of his roots: And the spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the spirit of wisdom and understanding, the spirit of counsel and might, the spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord" (Isa. 11:1-2). All of this was fulfilled by Jesus: "... the people were astonished at his doctrine: For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes" (Matt. 7:28-29).
Through the prophets, the Holy Spirit indicated a special distinguishing feature of the Messiah, the extraordinary power of wonderworking: "He will come and save you. Then the eyes of the blind shall be opened, and the ears of the deaf shall be unstopped.
Then shall the lame man leap as an hart, and the tongue of the dumb sing: for in the wilderness shall waters break out, and streams in the desert" (Isa. 35:4-6). When the two men came to Jesus from John the Baptist to ask, "Art thou he that should come? or look we for another?" (Luke 7:20), the Lord before all else points to the miracles he has performed: "The blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, to the poor the gospel is preached. And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me" (Luke 7:22-23). The people knew that the Messiah would be characterized by the miracles he performed. "Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw. And all the people were amazed, and said, Is not this the son of David?” (Matt. 12:22-23).
A mind corrupted by sin could not notice the parts of the Old Testament in which the spiritual qualities of the promised Messiah are given: "Behold, thy King cometh unto thee: he is just, and having salvation; lowly, and riding upon an ass, and upon a colt the foal of an ass" (Zech. 9:9).
  1. The Jews, having rejected the Messiah as the incarnate Son of God, could not remain in the scope of the Revelation given in the Old Testament. Gradually, to the Law given by God, the Pharisees and scribes added 613 commandments: 365 positive commandments and 248 negative commandments.
The Lord rebukes the Hebrew teachers of the law. "For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men" (Mark 7:8). Faith in God as a real, absolute Person—this is monotheism—is replaced by ritualism. In Judaism, the authority of the Talmud is greater than the Torah (Pentateuch). The famed rabbi Adin Steinsaltz writes, "If the Torah is the foundation of Judaism, then the Talmud is the central pillar supporting the entire spiritual and philosophical edifice. In many ways, the Talmud is the most important book in Jewish culture, the backbone of creativity and of national life. No other work has had a comparable influence on the theory and practice of Jewish life. The Jews always recognized that as a people, their preservation and development depends on the study of the Talmud" ("What is the Talmud?").
What is this "central pillar" of Judaism? I will introduce an excerpt from the Tract Sabbath, with commentary from Rabbi Pinchas Kehati: "The cripple may go out with his wooden leg; such is the decree of Rabbi Meir, but Rabbi Jose prohibits it. If the wooden leg has a receptacle for pads, it is subject to defilement. Crutches are subject to defilement by being sat or trodden upon; but one may go out with them on Sabbath and enter the outer court (of the Temple). The chair and crutches of a paralytic are subject to defilement, and one must not go out with them on the Sabbath nor enter the outer court (of the Temple). Stilts are not subject to defilement, but nevertheless one must not go out with them on Sabbath."
Commentary: "The cripple, a man with one amputated leg, may go out on the Sabbath on his wooden leg, an artificial leg, made according to the size of his shin. Such is the decree of Rabbi Meir, who believes that an artificial leg corresponds to footwear, while Rabbi Jose forbids the cripple from going out with his wooden leg on the Sabbath. According to him, it does not correspond to footwear because the cripple stands primarily with his hands on a cane, while the artificial leg is only for appearance's sake so that his physical handicap would go unnoticed. Thus, the artificial leg on Sabbath is seen as an unnecessary load, and it is prohibited to enter with it. According to the other point of view, Rabbi Jose agrees that the artificial leg equates to footwear, however he is afraid that the man will detach it and will carry over 4 cubits into the public domain, but Rabbi Meir does not have this fear.
I risk fatiguing the reader, but I will introduce one more place from the Talmud to fully portray the spiritual deadness of ritualism. “There are two acts constituting the transfer (of things which are prohibited) on the Sabbath, which are in turn subdivided into four for a man who finds himself inside a private domain (reshut hayachid). The two acts are, however, increased to four for a man who finds himself outside in the public domain (reshut harabim). How so? For example, a mendicant stands outside (in reshut harabim) and the master of a house inside (in reshut hayachid). The mendicant passes his hand into the house (through for example a window) and puts something into the hand of the master (let's say a basket, so that he might give him a piece of bread), or (another variation) the mendicant reaches out and takes something from the master's hand (a piece of bread). In these two cases, the mendicant is breaking the law of the Sabbath, but the host is not. Or, if the master of the house (being inside) passes his hand through a window and puts, say, a piece of bread, into the hand of the mendicant, or, having put out his hand, he takes an object (a basket) from the hands of the mendicant, who is standing outside on the street, and brings it into the house, the master of the house would have broken the law of the Sabbath, but not the mendicant. This is the first part of the Mishna, which has demonstrated to us what the “two acts” of transferring objects mean, from the position of one who is inside, and from the position of one who finds himself outside. Carrying out any of these acts on the Sabbath is prohibited" (Tract Sabbath).[1]
Instead of a living faith in a merciful God and love towards one’s fellow man, entire volumes of the Talmud are filled with the sophistic disputes of various rabbinical schools over what to do with an egg laid by a chicken on the Sabbath, or about a host giving bread to a beggar, so that he does not break the Sabbath.
What a huge spiritual distance there was between the prophets and the scribes! The first to shine in the faith were those who participated in the source of heavenly wisdom, while others directed their extraordinary erudition to "solving" questions irrelevant to life. The lawyers occasionally thrashed out whether one may move a ladder from one dovecote to another on feast days.
It is obvious that religious life, in which ritualism is the determining principle, will become formalistic. "Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men" (Isa. 29:13).
Falling away from the living source of Truth will inevitably lead to dissolution and barrenness. In medieval European church art, the contrast between Christianity and Judaism was allegorically represented in the form of two female figures: the Church and the Synagogue. The south portal of the transept (cross aisle) of the cathedral in Strasbourg (approx. 1230) is decorated with such sculptures. The woman representing the Church, clearly and confidently carries a cross in her right hand as if resting on it. The straight folds of her cloak, flowing down to the ground, make her figure solid and firm. Her head is crowned. Her gaze is cast into the distance. The figure of the synagogue holds to her body a spear broken in several places. The bend of the figure repeats the broken line. Scrolls fall out of her left hand. Her head is downcast. Her eyes are blindfolded, a symbol of spiritual darkness.
  1. The next phase of Judaism's retreat from Biblical monotheism was the rise and expansion among the Jews of Kabbalah (in Hebrew qabbalah means acceptance or tradition) of mystical teachings and practices. This esoteric theosophical teaching is in spirit and letter absolutely foreign to the Holy Scripture. Two books initiate an exposition of Kabbalah: Sefer Yetzirah (the Book of Creation) and Zohar (Splendor of Radiance). The former was likely written in the sixth and seventh centuries B.C. Confirmation by the Kabbalists themselves of the existence of Sefer Yetzirah already during the time of patriarch Abraham is absolutely mythical and has no evidence. On the contrary, the presence in these books of philosophical ideas of late antiquity, such as Gnosticism, Neoplatonism, and others, completely refutes this view. The author of Zohar is believed to be the Spanish Kabbalist Moshe (Moses) de Leon. It was written in approximately 1300 A.D. The desire of modern Kabbalists to make the author of Zohar the disciple of rabbi Akiva Shimon Bar Yochai (Laitman, M. The Book of Zohar. M., 2003. p. 185)[2] , who lived in the second century A.D., contradicts the view of experts. "The Aramaic language of all eighteen of these sections is throughout the same, and throughout it displays the same individual peculiarities. This is all the more important because it is not in any sense a living language which Simeon ben Yohai and his colleagues in the first half of the second century A.D. in Palestine might have conceivably spoken. The Aramaic of the Zohar is a purely artificial affair, a literary language employed by a writer who obviously knew no other Aramaic than that of certain Jewish literary documents, and who fashioned his own style in accordance with definite subjective criteria. The expectation expressed by some scholars that philological investigation would reveal the older strata of the Zohar has not been borne out by actual research. Throughout these writings, the spirit of mediaeval Hebrew, specifically the Hebrew of the thirteenth century, is transparent behind the Aramaic facade" (Scholem, G. (1954). Major Trends in Jewish Mysticism. p. 163).[3]
Kabbalah is divided into the contemplative (Kabbalah Iyunit) and practical (Kabbalah Maasit). The central aspect of the Kabbalah is Ein Sof (The Infinite). In contrast to the God of the Holy Scriptures, Ein Sof has no name because he is without person, unknowable, and incomprehensible. No attributes can be ascribed to him. Ein Sof makes himself known in his manifestations (not to all, but to Jewish mystics). Ein Sof's chief manifestation is the original man, Adam Kadmon. Through his emanations (flows) the ten sefirot come into being, which are the attributes of God. Ten sefirot represent the mystical body of Adam Kadmon (heavenly Adam). He appears as a result of emanation and has no image or form. The earthly Adam was created in the image of heavenly Adam. The tenth sefirot is called "the Kingdom" or Malkuth. It unites all ten sefirot. In Zohar, Malkuth—or Kingdom—denotes how the Knesset (assembly) of Israel is a mystical prototype of the House of Israel (Shekhinah). In The Dialectics of Myth (XIV. 3), Aleksei Losev writes, “As a very well-educated Jew and great expert of Kabbalistic and Talmudic literature (from which I, with the nasty habits of a European observer, sought to learn exclusively about the Neoplatonic influences in Kabbalah) told me, the essence of all Kabbalah does not at all consist in pantheism, as liberal scholars think, who compare the doctrine of Ein Sof and the Sephirot with Neo-Platonism, but rather with pan-Israelitism: the Kabbalistic God needs Israel for His own salvation, He was incarnated in Israel and became it. Therefore the myth of the world domination by a deified Israel, which is forever contained in God.”
Kabbalists have established a correspondence among the different sefirot with parts of the human body. Becoming familiar with this primitive mythological arrangement of the structure of the universe, it becomes difficult to ignore the question that Kabbalists themselves do not ask: What is the source of this "knowledge"? How does one manage to conclude that the sefirot of the Crown (Keter) is the brow, the Tiferet is the chest, Victory (Netzach) and Majesty (Hod) is man's hip?
The esoteric teachings of Sefer Yetzirah and the Zohar are fundamentally incompatible with the biblical teaching on God, the world, man, and humanity's path to salvation. Contemplative Kabbalah represents a combination of elements of Gnosticism of the second and third centuries A.D. and Neo-Platonism. From the Gnostics, it borrows the teaching of the 10 eons, which comprise the pleroma (universal fullness). Dualism is the link between Gnostics and Kabbalists; the idea of eternal enmity began with good (light) and evil (darkness). Kabbalah's dualistic world view finds a direct expression in Sefer Yetzirah: "Also Elohim made every object, one opposite the other: good opposite evil, evil opposite good, good from good, evil from evil, the good delineates the evil and the evil delineates the good, good is kept for the good and evil is kept for the evil.” It is evident that the teaching, which ascribes evil an ontological status, leads to the justification of evil. In contrast, according to the Holy Scripture, evil was not created by God, but arose as a result of the abuse of the gift of freedom given by God to his creatures, Angels and mankind.
Kabbalistic teaching is an obvious expression of pantheism, a complete retreat from monotheism. God and the world are understood as one complete whole. The world is only a manifestation of God. Pantheism is fraught with internal contradictions. Its logical consequence is inevitably first the derogation of God, and next, denial of him, because all of the world's imperfections are attributed to him.
Kabbalists divide the world into male and female elements. The right and left spheres are respectively male and female. The world is presented as a loving union, as the unification of male and female elements. The relationship between the spheres is interpreted with the help of gender symbolism.
Kabbalah presents itself as a fantastical mix of esoteric occultism, blended with pagan religious and philosophical ideas. It attests to a complete regression from the great and saving teachings of the Bible with its deep and sustained monotheism.
Hieromonk Job (Gumerov)
[1] This appears not to be a direct quote from Tract Sabbath, but commentary based on Tract Sabbath: http://www.evrey.com/sitep/talm/index.php3?trkt=shabbat&menu=19. —Trans.
[2] This cite may not be accurate to the English version. —Trans.
[3] Page number may not be accurate to English version.—Trans.
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2024.05.18 19:09 WorriedTemporarily 23M & 21F. Broken up, need advice. AITA?

So i met this girl online last summer (June) who also happened to go to my school and was later also to be in one of my classes this past year for the fall semester. We started talking and all was very well, we had similar values in terms of religion, how we see things in life, what we’d want in partnerelationship, etc. Id say we got pretty close in the next 2-3 months, to the point where we were basically dating, only seeing other, could see each other married, started envisioning our lives for the future together, etc. this was especially after we finally started seeing each other when school started back up (in September) during our classes. Id say things were pretty good for the next few months, up until late december, when she called me one day, and my parents saw her calling. Being a part of a more strict, closed off, religious family, this was very hard, and created a tough environment to be in . They were looking to find out who she was, so they interrogated me about her. They essentially discouraged me from continuing the relationship, telling me to focus on my studies, my future, not to date due to religious reasons, not to commit with just the first person i meet, etc. they also didn’t like the idea of interracial relationships.
So id say this family situation, in combination with “getting used to/comfortable with the relationship”, perhaps lazyness, lack of time, financial stress, distance, and “figuring my life out being that im about to graduate and struggling to find a job”, kind of led me to pull away from and not put as much effort into the relationship slowly ever since. We celebrated her birthday (dec 22) and my birthday (jan 16th), so id say uptill those days things were also good. Id say ever since then though is when she started to notice a shift in me. Id say she was more of the anxious type where i was the avoidant. The distance became more and more prominent until around mid March, where I felt I just needed some space or that i didn’t feel i was ready to emotionally take care of someone and be ready for a relationship , especially with everything going on. I kind of let the door open for her to “see other people” (something i deeply regret), even though i reassured that i wasnt doing this to see other people for myself aswell. So after that day i saw her, and i told her how i felt about all of that, we kinda started drifting away further with that space. Ever since, with the time apart and talking to a few people that know about our relationship, i realized that i still had feelings for her and wanted to make it work. Although we talked but not as much as we used to, i now noticed her pulling away also. She then mentioned that shes talking to other people aswell. I believe she went on a couple dating apps. Id say ever since that, I was getting really worried. I realized i was letting a girl who i consider the “love of my life” slip away, so i tried to make it up to her. Being a hopeless romantic type, I wrote her paragraphs about how i felt. She told me she wanted space to think, and I tried to respect that as hard as it was to do. During this time I also asked her to come see me in campus for my engineering day, to kind of “make up” even just a little bit, for me pulling away by giving her a good time, letting her know i care and want to be serious with her. I got her a bunch of her favourite things, some flowers, chocolate, wrote a note for her and more. I also took her out to eat. The hope was to i guess “make up for whatever much i could”, and that hopefully she’d consider continuing to build things again with me. She really appreciated the gifts and all, but after about another week of wanting space, to my gruelling detriment, she spoke to friends and siblings, and she told me she wants time figure out what she wants in someone, that our timelines don’t align, and that she just doesn’t feel it in her heart anymore.
I know her sisters likely tell her to explore other options, not to jump into anything to serious, “you’re still young”, so those influences likely affected her decision. Her reasoning for the incompatibility issues in my opinion, which she likely feels were riddled throughout our relationship, were:
My thing is, all those incompatibility issues, aren’t those something i can genuinely work on and get better at? Something with effort (which i feel is a big reason to it) and commitment could be improved?
I still want to make it work, even though she technically has broken up with me. Being a romantic, Ive had crazy ideas to win her back but ive being strongly encouraged not to and to let her go.
This is the main gist of the story. Any other intricate details i forgot to mention ill let you know throughout. I want to get back with her, because i want to try again, i know i can be that guy for her, i just want another chance. But at the moment im just giving her time and space to realize how our relationship wasn’t that bad (atleast in my opinion). Even though we’ve unfollowed each other and are technically “broken up”.
Ever since then ive just been analyzing where i went wrong, and where i could improve. Ive been reading alot of books to improve various aspects, focusing on my getting my career in track, and connecting more deeply with my faith, and more.
My questions: - Was i the asshole? - What areas should i work on myself? - What other resources do you recommend for me? - Why did i become such an avoidant during the relationship - Is there anything i do to fix it? - How could i win her back? Is it salvageable? - Should i just move on?
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2024.05.18 18:56 Oikawasmilkbreaddd My petty revenge in high school…

So I’m going to start this off by saying that I really like to give second chances…and third chances…and so on. Me, 19(F), and this girl 19(F), became friends our senior year of high school. We will call her Anna. I noticed at the beginning of our friendship, Anna loved to lie a lot…I mean like saying certain celebrities were her cousins and even going as far as saying she was pregnant constantly and then pretending she never said it when she thinks people forgot about it (which should have been immediate red flags but I just thought she would do better). Fast forward to when Anna invited me to go to church with her. I’m very conflicted in my religion and hadn’t been to church in over 10 years so I was slightly uncomfortable. Anna takes me around to meet all these people and i notice that she is ignoring this older boy and even walking away when he talks to her. My first impression is that he was bothering her so I asked her what was up and she said “oh he likes me but I don’t like him. We text a lot but I just want someone better”. I thought about what she had said and asked her “have you told him you’re not interested?” and she just laughed and changed the conversation. This goes on for 3 more days and I noticed the guy’s attitude started to change. He looked sad every time I saw him, I knew what he was feeling, he felt left out. I told him to come and join us and Anna was not happy with that. I honestly don’t think she liked me talking to him but she would show me all the guys she was talking to when we hung out at her house. I didn’t really like this guy at the time because I was just wanting to be friends…well…fast forward a couple weeks and me and him start hanging out and I noticed that I started getting to know him more and I really enjoyed spending time with him. Every single time I would talk to him when Anna was around, she would try and embarrass me. This went on for another two weeks then we both stopped seeing Anna as much together and would do our own thing. After we started dating for a couple months, I had Anna over at the same time he was over…that was a huge mistake. When I saw her come out of the bathroom with her shirt off and she started dancing in front of my bf I was done. After that, mine and Anna’s relationship never got better. I cut her off for a couple weeks when she reached out and apologized saying “I’m so sorry I didn’t see him in there.” So fast forward to the petty stuff :)) I started talking to her again but I wasn’t going to deal with the disrespect anymore. She told me she made a guy cheat on his gf(19F) and was bragging about it to me. When I had learned the gf’s name, I was furious. I had been friends with the gf since we were kids. I was not going to sit here and laugh about this with her and decided to finally do something. I was texting with the gf for some time before I finally decided that I was going to record one of mine and Anna’s conversations because the gf didn’t believe me. I told the gf to keep quiet about the recording after I sent it because I didn’t really want to deal with that…I wanted to work in the shadows girl. BUT YK DRAMA SPREADS LIKE WILDFIRE. Yes, Anna found out. She immediately called me and was yelling at me asking me stuff like “how could you?” And “that’s gonna hurt (the gf) so much!” Like now she was on the gfs side? No babes…you got caught. After that I just laughed and blocked her. I was done. I left a lot of mine and Anna’s backstory out but take it from me when I say it was horrible. After that, me and the gf became besties and my boyfriend and I are moving into a house!!
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2024.05.18 18:33 Cozyturtle3863 AITAH for being angry at my parents and considering distancing myself from them when I move to college in a month because of an argument over my Nintendo Switch?

Prologue (ish?)
I (17 F) have been very busy lately with this stage in my life. I am graduating highschool and moving to college for summer school all within a month of eachother. I am graduating with a 4.2 gpa and got accepted to multiple universities. I chose to attend one not far from my home town and do summer uni before the regular college year starts. AKA this is a stressful stage of my life as I am rushed through the academic pipeline. This week I had my last day of school and my final choir concert on the same day. I had been working hard on my pieces and solos so I could finish my highschool career with this. The concert went well, I shakily sang my solo with all I could give and sang senior enesemble, and multiple honors and combined choir songs all by memory. Afterwards I was very affected by the residual stress of that night and the combination of forgetting to take my medication. I hung out with my friends for that night and the day after before returning home dead tired. I slept through the entire next day. I woke up early today to discover I had started my period before I had to go to my graduation practice. Afterwards I interacted closely with my family for a few hours then came home and took a nap until 11:00 pm.
📝This is when the post really starts‼️
I went downstairs to give my dad tickets to my graduation. My mom was in the kitchen and I guess she got suspicious as to why I was up. I went back upstairs and sat down to finally just chill out after days of stress and play some games. I hadnt even opened a single game before my mom burst into my room angrily telling me that I had to go to sleep (despite just having woken up). She tried to take my switch but I managed to convince her not to. After she closed the door she waited a few seconds before opening it quickly again, trying to catch me disobeying her. I just gave her a wierd look and she glared at me before finally going downstairs about a full minute later. (she was hanging around trying to catch me again). I waited a few minutes and got ready for bed and locked my door. I really hate it when my parents try and sneak up on me or just burst into my room without knocking. I eventually sat back down to play a round or two before going to sleep, but I heard someone moving around. I checked under the door and saw the bathroom light on but assumed it was my older brother just using the restroom. As soon as my first game loaded my mom PICKED THE LOCK OF MY DOOR and barged in to take my switch, headset, and controller saying that I wont get them back and that I wont take them to college with me. For context, I had worked a job at a pet store for 10$ an hour for about a month to buy myself that switch and controller. I had bought it with my own earned money. I stood in my room afterwards trying to think of what the best way to handle this was. I decided that I should confront my parents and explain to them my point of view and let them know how I felt so we could maybe come to a solution and be able to establish that I am going to be on my own soon and could make my own decisions. I braced myself for the conversation, knowing exactly how it would go. I would have no time to talk after my initial sentence and my parents would interrupt me and deny everything I would try to say as well as accuse me of backtalking if I tried to say anything else. So I went into their room and sat down at the foot of their bed, telling them that I had to talk to them and asking for them to please listen to me before saying anything. I told them that I had earned that switch with my own money and that I was going to be moving to college soon and knew how to manage my time. I said that I was smart and knew how to manage my time and understood the consequences of staying up late. I try to continue explaining to them my perspective as I can physically see them getting more and more riled up and angry with me. My dad is shaking his head aggressively while I'm speaking, saying that I'm wrong. After about a minute or two he interrupted me and then went on to say that I was lecturing them and treating them like they are stupid. He goes on to cuss me out (despite being extremely Christian and seeing cussing as awful) and said that I'm just a child and that I think I know everything but in reality I know nothing. He said that they were going to burn my switch and that when I go to college I can do whatever the f*k I want and that I can mess up my own life and fail to be no more than a minimum wage mcdonalds worker. My parents went on to say that I had been lying to them and that the switch had ruined my life. I calmly ask what the switch has done to me. How am I being a horrible person? My mom stutters and tells me that I said I would close the chicken coop door then forgot. Thats the only thing she can think about. My dad then says that my room is a dump and that I hadnt taken out the trash. I calmly told him that I had just recently cleaned my entire room and reorganized it, and that I consistently take my trash out every week. I think of reminding him of the fact that he had complimented my clean room multiple times before this week. He ignores this and tries to think of more bad things that I do, listing them out on his fingers. He gets to three (being disrespectful, not cleaning my room (I did), not taking out the trash), and then stutters, not being able to think of any more issues. Then they both yell at me again before he goes on to scream at me and call me more things for about half an hour. They both get angry and are getting more and more angry as I sit and look at them with a blank expression on my face. I’ve just shut down completely and stared at them blankly the entire time because I realize that speaking isn’t going to help me. Both of my parents start physically pointing their fingers at me and shaking and saying that I’m being a horrible daughter. Somewhere along the way I say that I came down to talk to them calmly but they are cussing and calling me names and saying that I’m a horrible person. They say that my generation is always trying to play the victim and that we always try to blame other people. Then when they’re tired of yelling at me they ask me why I’m staring at them and I say that I’m not gonna say anything else. They ask me why and I say that I already said what I needed to say. They ask me to repeat it and I tell them that I don’t want to argue with them. They ask me to repeat it again and I said that they were both clearly trying to get me to argue with them, but I’ve already said my share and that it’s no use speaking to them. I tell them goodnight and leave the room while they shout at me as I close the door.
The thing is, I know I'm not a bad person. I am well behaved at school and get good grades, along with being friends with all of my teachers and befriending several members of the faculty and staff of my school. I say hi to everyone and try my best to get people to smile. I have been described as someone who "brightens up the room" and "has a great future in store".
Here are a few things im just now remembering my parents said/did during their rant - They insulted my friends and said that all the friends that I have are awful and evil and ruining my life, despite having said two nights before that I had picked amazing friends and they were proud of me. - Said that the devil was making me play videogames and that I need to listen to God (for context, the games that I most often play include overwatch, splatoon, and dredge.) - Said that I was treating them as if I knew more than them (definitely not what I was trying to say) and told me that I was still just a child and didnt know anything, even though they constantly tell me to grow up and to act my age. Then when I try and talk about my problems with them in a healthy manner like an adult, they immediately tell me that I think im better than them or something.
A little more context - both of my parents are hardcore christian conservatives - both of them are hispanic - I am christian nondenominational. I do not intend on abandoning religion or my God. - I love my parents very much. I am so grateful for everything I have and am painfully aware that I have the privelege of having two loving parents who care about me and provide for me because not many people have it as good as I do. - I have an older brother who is in the Naval Academy and has always gotten perfect grades. He is visiting for my gradiation and things are back to the way they were before with him around (I am being ignored and made fun of for entertainment and all the attention is being directed towards him despite it being my graduation and my one time to shine.)
However, this feels like its more than an argument about some dumb videogame console. I honestly dont care if they burn it because they've done that before with a tame impala record. I'll just buy a new one when I go to college very soon. But all that they said must have come from what they actually think of me. If they think that badly of me despite all my efforts to be a good daughter and trying to 'grow up' like they constantly tell me to do, then I feel like there's nothing I can do or say to ever please them properly.
Should I take this interaction with my parents as a sign that it's time to distance myself from them and my family, knowing that I'll never be good enough for them? I just dont think there's much more I can do.
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2024.05.18 18:32 Curios_litte-bugger Talking with my mother about sahih al bukari 6982

Hi everyone I'm (17M) from southeast Asia(singapore),recently if started discussing scripture with my mother and we were discussing on muhammad revelations given to him by jibreel.I told her that sahih al bukari 6982 was "bothering" me (It doesn't) that muhammad was choked and pressured by jibreel to read the the quran when he was illiterate,my mother said that"oh Gabriel was trying to make muhammad understand the best way he could" by what strangulation?Anyway she said that you need an imam to give you the context even though it's already there,I mean it's clear jibreel choked him it's not like he choked himself right? She also did some mental gymnastics trying to justify the verse.I also said that what if the imam lied to me she said they would never and I was like taqqiya!..........taqqiya!,I knew that they were going to lie to me.we also talked about Mormons and how I subtly making comparisons to it and islam outrageous promises of the afterlife mormons:personal planets in heave islam:72 Virgins(I didn't mention this) and how who can't insult their prophet and the prophets marriage to minors.But yah I think I might have put some seeds of doubt into her mind I mean I feel like she's not secure in her religion she doesn't even wear a hijab and she is very open to discussing even tough she herself says she's not qualified for these things.
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2024.05.18 17:59 S0ng81rd Part 23

My Dad is bringing up a very important word,
"No"
Actually, I think that was his favorite word.
I had a great habit of using it when I was under his roof. What he said is usually what happens first. He was the head of the house and the leader of his own reality. When he was intoxicated or not, what he saw and thought in his mind came to life, even when it never took place in real time.
Why did I give him so much respect when he clearly was showing me toxicity in our relationship at home?
He pretended to be a person of high stature when we are in public. No one would have guessed his bad habits with substances at home and the way he acted behind closed doors. When I reached out for emotional support at school or church, I was mostly shunned by anyone that listened to my story. They taught me that my feelings were wrong and asking for help gets me in trouble. When I told my mom anything, she was busy at work and came home tired. She trusted everything my father would tell her and I got in trouble for speaking out for his behavior. I was kept at home and if anything that could get me out of the house was already planned to be declined if I asked to do anything.
It was hard to please anyone at this point.
I kept my room spotless and vacuumed everyday, just so my dad couldn't say no and tell me to clean my room if I had a friend standing next to me wanting to hang out.
I had one friend in my life that saw my father for who he really is and he scared her pretty bad. He chased me to her car when I was trying to leave my house, he was on oxy at the time. My friend hesitated and kept the car in the driveway and told me to go do what he said. I wanted her to drive as fast as she could away from him, because he took the battery out of my car and I couldn't leave to be with Suz.
Well, after that incident, I lost my friend. She told her parents what happened and she broke all contact with me and stopped talking to me at church. Rumors went around and her mom I sang with on stage started to be disrespectful towards me.
I learned a valuable lesson that day....
When you feel safe enough to speak out and let someone see your true self, you scare people away.
When I trusted someone, I was abandoned when they saw my life for what it is.
The truth was hard to swallow and I had to stay around my father regardless of trying to find help in some form of way I felt heard. I tried to be emancipated, I went to church and sought out resources, I researched about how to prevent suicidal tendencies, I was speaking to a child psychologist. I was working on being more respectful towards my parents, but when my dad got high and made up stories to be angry and attack me. I had no way to protect myself and prove that it was just my father being an addict going through a psychotic episode.
This is why the Lord forced me into psychology.
I didn't want anything to do with it! (Working in a psych ward.... It sucked.)
Suz was the first person to really allow me to learn how to understand it with her version of explaining reality. She is a psychic medium. A very good one! She was very outspoken, rude and funny.... I can take the hard criticism. Nothing amounted to the trauma my father already caused me to feel. I survived high school band.... My director was exactly like my father and I was verbally abused at school by certain individuals.
I kept it all to myself and I planned very strategically my way to "heaven". I kept a journal on purpose for someone to find later. I wrote about everything I was feeling and how I was being treated, my poems, other interesting facts about spirituality, death and dying.
Suz taught me how to have a "book of shadows"..... Well, she is a witch..... It shouldn't be scary when I say that, she was a very proud "light witch". She only worked for the good of humanity. Christianity shuns such practices, but it really is part of the culture before religion became a thing. She taught me so many things that my Dad made me swear I would never get involved in.....
My Dad went into psychology after he decided he wasn't going to be a pastor. His past marriage was a major roadblock for him that he lost faith in God and didn't feel it was right for him to lie on stage to other believers when he wasn't being honest about his own walk in faith anymore.
A divorce would literally kill my soul. I can't imagine what betrayal feels like until you promise your life in vows to someone and it doesn't work out....My Dad made sure to show me that marriage is a special connection and I had to be very cautious who I accept as my spouse. I never forgotten how important it was for him to see me with the right man, but he was so overprotective, he never allowed me to learn how to date or even go to a school dance.
I blame the drugs for interfering in our relationship as a family. My Father was a very smart man, until he took a pill, shot up, or drink... My dad worked in anesthesia, he knew how to mix his own concoction and by pass the system to get his fix. He was forced to retire don't worry, but his knowledge to get drugs was phenomenal all that he knew about medicine.
It really sucked that he knew psychology and ways to manipulate people to get what he wanted. He was a very skilled hypnotherapist on top of that. My family is the result of a head narcissist raising more products of himself.
If you see my family now, we are estranged for good reasons, but they still hurt me personally. I really tried to keep us together after my father passed away, but the rest of my family chose to ignore my advances to keep in contact. I'm not even invited to the family reunions.
It's okay, because we have a lot of family history of incest and "S.A." and I understand why we are not invited.... I know a lot of things about our family after my father passed away. I know why he turned to be a pastor and then went in psychology to help himself and others, but then he lost his way and turned to drugs to mask his pain. The enemy stepped in and my Dad gave into his weaknesses..... He tried and he fought hard. Even when he attacked me my whole life. I still sat there and listened to him and I was forced to listen and not leave the room, but then God showed me to talk back to my Dad.....
So, I started to read more about the Bible and relate to him.
That's why I went to church...
I went to church 4 times a week to get away from the house, but to also just understand why I want to end my life and know that I would go to heaven if I actually tried it.....I was worried about my Mom and how my actions would affect her, she was a big reason why I stalled my plans and then my Dad had this wise idea to get me to work at a mortuary. Told me to walk into one and ask for a job.
Crazy how I jump topics all of a sudden, but this is how my Dad and I got along with each other. Weird and comical. lol
If it wasn't about music, it was about spirituality. I was into a lot of death related shows because I was suicidal. If you remember any of these, they came out around the time I was in high school.
Six Feet Under
Dead Like Me
Dr. G Medical Examiner
1000 Ways to Die
Ghost hunters
Crime Scene Clean Up Crew shows.
I would walk in the dining room while he was chillin in his hospital bed. Watching Finding Big Foot.
"Hey DAD! check this out."
It was a nice distraction to his day. It brought up his own fears with common daily interactions because of my odd obsession with the topic of dying.
My father at this point in his cancer diagnosis, he was on something they call,
Palliative care.
My mom explained to me that it means he was going to die. Lovely how blunt my mother is, but that's how she said it without sugar coating it....
But it was in a way it would be under his terms. My father at this point died once while receiving radiation therapy. His heart stopped and was revived. When he woke up angry and violent towards at the medical team. He yelled at my mom that he was ready to "go". So, after that incident he got the right person to sign him up for his new journey to his death.
That was a weird way of telling you what palliative care is, but that's how I found out and understood that he had a "DNR" to his name after that incident. Sometimes he was in a hospice home for a few months to give us a break at home dealing with his drama.
My Dad was surrounded by death, so it made me really research death and dying very deeply. I was afraid for anyone to see the books I read because they were about taboo topics you shouldn't see a teenager obsessing over. Death and dying, crossing over, letting go of loved ones, suicide survivors, decomposition of human remains, the death process, how a body is embalmed, what medical examiners while cutting open a corpse.
Then I got into the spiritual side of things that involve the devil and crossing over. How to avoid walking back towards hell when you are deceived by dark forces. How to fight your inner hell and not be trapped in that mindset when you are passing away.
I would have the craziest dreams after learning about these topics. But in a weird way, all I wanted to do was sleep to escape my reality. I would talk to my Dad about the stuff I found about those topics and it helped him be closer to me as a father. Something my little brother doesn't understand and ridiculed about me when he criticized my relationship with him. He had his own way to being with Dad, but my way, was with deeper meaning and serious topics. Stuff only Dad and I knew what that meant. It wasn't supposed to make sense to my mom or brother the special talks we had when he was in pain laying in bed.
I showed my Dad the other side to life....
I helped my Dad not be afraid to die, and do it with dignity and strength.
I helped my Dad understand that his addictions didn't ruin our connection as father and daughter and that I wanted to forgive him for his past before he died. He really appreciated my understanding that the drugs turned him into a different person, but inside of him, God was always there. My father told me, because of me, I allowed him to find love for God again and he was closer to his Mom because I showed him to not be afraid of my friend Suz.
That my friend wasn't evil and she taught me so much about angels and spirits, he was learning about them because I had the best mentor in the world. She helped me find my relationship with my Dad, that brought me to be closer to God and because I learned about God in a metaphysical way, I helped myself grow in my own understanding to where I wasn't going to end my life.
I found a reason to live even through the pain of watching the enemy run through my family and take away everyone and everything that means something to me.....
(I would like to post this, but I know it's not ready. I have so much to say and I know my story will help someone else not be afraid.)
I am still writing my story.
This is the book I was supposed to write about....
The one about death and dying.
Not about my background in psychology.
*That is a message for someone else. hint hint... That is your topic to write about. I hope you receive that message with understanding and go forth wisely. You asked me to remind you, so I am, quietly...
I am working with others in a way the Lord leads me.
It takes up my energy from writing and I have to prioritize what is more important. When it comes to someone's transition. I feel led to help someone cross over. I've done this since I was a child. No one taught me to understand how I do this. I also dream about meeting certain individuals and speak to them about life and death, God allows me to remember my dreams and I share them with the people it is about.
Most times, God will send people to talk to me and then I learn about them dying or having a terminal illness that is difficult to get through. That is where I am reminded of my life with my father and my jobs in the medical field and bring up all that I learned about death, dying, spirituality, religion, crossing over, eastern medicine, etc....
Then I become friends, or we have nice conversations that are very engaging and healing in general. I am later told that I have helped them in some way and they are happy to have met me. Then my dad shows up in my presence and shows me how I am doing what I am supposed to and to trust my gut feelings from now on. He promised me when he was alive, he was always going to be by my side and teach me about life.
Now I finally understand what he meant by that and I now that I know how to
"Listen with my HEART"
That is how he spoke to his mom before he crossed over. I taught him how and he was able to go deeper with it since his soul was ascending and leaving the physical body. The dream state plays a big part of crossing over and communicating with loved ones. That is where my gifts come into play. I am sensitive enough to feel him and learn his lessons that he encourages me to write it all down.
I'm not the writer I wish to become yet, but as long as it's getting out there for someone to find, that's all that matters.
Don't forget to realize that we are all dying. Don't allow your diagnosis or reality to have you feel stuck in misery until you die. Don't allow the pain and confusion to stop you from gaining understanding to the karma you're experiencing.Being a medium for me has been traumatizing, because I had to earn my way to understanding. I had to experience hell in order to seek solitude and want to create peace with my sanity and not let the forces around me cause me to go insane. I went "within" so I can heal my trauma and know what triggers me to thinking about the negative side to things.
That is all the enemy fighting with you spiritually.
When we die, we lose our vessel, not our spirit.
We are the spirit having the human experience.
This isn't forever.
Thank God for that!
Pain does end, but learn what the pain wants to teach you about life around you. You will help someone else with your story when you're meant to cross paths.
Everyone in your life is there to teach you something.
Are you ready for the lesson?
Are you ready to understand your lesson?
So, it's crazy how I end up writing these posts, but they are all for a reason that I don't understand right now, but I'm doing as I'm told.
I'm not afraid of death, I'm not afraid of anyone stalking me because I speak of life in a way no one else has, because this is my story.
I don't know why I wrote it this way before I got here.
My destiny, I mean.....
I know my purpose now and of all the things I pushed away in my life, God forced me to go back into it and learn more about myself. The things I didn't want to face and be reminded about my Dad.... I just want to live my life in peace. I didn't want to think about my past love, but I meet people that remind me of my life back home and that person in particular.....
So, it's all hitting at once. It's a slow process, my father has been gone for 11 years now. I'm getting the hang of it now...... Writing this isn't a race for me, the lessons are exciting to finally understand why I went through them, but again.... Time helps me explain things better when I see it in a different perspective. I couldn't have accomplished that goal until I went through the pain and worked on my character to change my outcomes to my problems. I had to change myself first.
I hope those that are part of this journey with me understand that I am only putting out there tools to help them succeed.
I'm not going out of my way to create another trauma bond or narcissistic injury towards anyone. I love them very much and I want them to work on themselves and gain abundance correctly, not with the use of black magic and occult practices.
That's another story for another day. Suz wants them to know that she was in my life to warn me about my lessons in my future, but I can't run from them. I am here to learn lessons and teach others how to learn theirs.
That's all this is about.
Life is a stage, how do you want to play it?
I choose to grow and allow myself to see the positive to where I feel the emotion of bliss, love, joy and acceptance of all things coexisting together.
I be back soon,
I hope you have a nice weekend.
<3,
Tina,
submitted by S0ng81rd to u/S0ng81rd [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 17:16 Known-Map9195 The series, poorly summarized

EoS
Hadrian is a prince, but is his dad's least favorite. He runs away from home but gets betrayed and dumped on a random planet. Homeless he falls in love and makes a bunch of friends in the colosso, goes hunting ruins, aliens show up. Hadrian promises them safety, ends up having to translate for the Empire while the alien captain is tortured. Gets a ship and brings his colosso homies along to drink beers and party while they try to end the war peacefully. The rest of the aliens are put into fuge for the travel.
HD
Fast forward 30 years, Hadrian has picked up a bunch of other friends and is dating someone new. He's part of a larger imperial fleet led by captain Bassander Lin, who is a Lawful Good killjoy and all around funhater. Hadrian tries to convince Lin and the fleet to head for Vorgossos. But Lin says it's a waste of time, so Hadrian does a mutiny and steals one of the aliens and takes the red company and goes there himself. It's basically old rich people space Florida where the boomers are trying to petition Palpatine for eternal life. Hadrian sees a cyberpunk Garden of Eden and meets Palatine's two children.
Palpatine says he can organize an audience with the alien prince Aranata for peace talks, but imprisons Hadrian and Valka for months while they wait. Finally he frees them, but Lin and his commanding general knight tribune Smythe show up, turns out Switch snitched. Hadrian writes Switch's name in his Death Note. Peace talks happen, the aliens and the humans do not understand each other very well. The alien mothership is nuked by the Empire mid peace talks. Lin orchestrated it. Aranata kills Smythe and the other imperial generals. Hadrian is big mad. Hadrian kills the alien prince's son out of spite. Lin kills Palpatine. Aranata kills Hadrian.
The Quiet brings him back. The two children are possessed by papa Palpatine and give Hadrian a new arm Winter Soldier style. The red company chants "Half Mortal!" and Hadrian enters his baller era.
DiW
Hadrian accidentally starts a cult. People are thinking he's the new space Jesus. He and the crew are given an impossible mission by the emperor and is given baby sitting duties to watch over Alexander. He completes the mission no problem. Back on Forum like 10 people try to kill Hadrian, there's a hella dope duel scene where it looks like Hadrian is about to lose then he uses his winter soldier arm to catch the enemy's light saber. The Chantry and most of the royal family and the politicians who all wanted him dead start shaking in their boots. Hadrian has Crim assassinate the guy who hired his would be assassin. Valka almost dies and gets a permanent virus in her system from Urbaine.
Hadrian goes to a remote planet and has visions then multiclasses to get his Paladin levels. Word comes of the aliens attacking Berenike, Hadrian and the red company go and there is a big ol' Helm's Deep style siege with lots of shit going down. Lin shows up and bows to Hadrian, now fully believing him to be space Jesus. A big spooky projection of Syriani shows up and taunts the humans. Hadrian offers to give himself up in exchange for the safety of the people. He is really trying to just buy time until reinforcements arrive. Syriani shoots him with a giant space laser, nothing happens. Hadrian phases out and dodges Luke Skywalker style. The aliens run away.
KoD
Hadrian and crew are given another impossible task to go and recruit the communists to join the empire. Hadrian goes to treat with them, turns out they are not interested in joining up and they've actually already allied with the aliens. They call in their spooky homies, and the whole red company is taken captive. Hadrian is thrown in alien prison and is tortured for 7 years. He trips balls and sees visions of previous alien races who had the same messed up religion. Urbaine has a new body.
More torture and suffering. Syriani develops new powers and bleeds silver. The other aliens all bow to it and recognize it as their leader. Syriani hosts a big thanksgiving feast for the aliens. All you can eat meat buffet. 90 thousand people from the Tamerlain are gobbled down. Syriani allows one person to leave, Hadrian chooses Lorian. Big battle. The rest of the Red Company dies, literally everyone is eaten except for Valka and Hadrian who barely escape. They fly back to Colchis and hang out with Gibson for a few years until he too dies.
AoM
Valka has been recording everything, she plays back key moments for the Emperor. He offers what little comfort he can. Hadrian tries to regain the Emperor's trust. Hadrian and Valka face off with the Extra Solarians. They get separated in the battle. Valka takes the wrong shuttle to the surface. The Extras cancel her flight. Hadrian is sad again. The battle with the aliens continues. Hadrian shows up and does some wild Jedi force shenanigans to eject the aliens into space. The emperor bad-mouths Valka and offers his daughter as a replacement wife. Hadrian bitch slaps him.
DG
Hadrian is living out his retirement on Jadd and has a daughter with Valka. The empire comes knocking and asks for his help to kill a god. Hadrian and Cassandra go to Sabratha and have a timey wimey wibbly wobbly surreal fight with Ushara. Hadrian picks up new party members in Ramanthanu and his alien homeboys. Ushara escapes and also possesses Hadrian a little bit.
Hadrian goes back to Forum and meets up with Lorian who is serving as the right hand of Calen Herendates, the Extra Solarian monarch. The princess Selene wants to get horizontal with the Half Mortal. But Hadrian is murdered and melts into a bloody puddle. After he dies, Hadrian wakes up at the end of time after all of the stars have burned out. Meets some wacky folks and hears all the lore getting all the answers readers have been wanting. Shit gets really dang religious. Hadrian wakes up but has a new younger better body. Cassandra thinks this is very sus.
Hadrian and Lorian and the crew go to meet Calen Herendates. Turns out he is secretly the son of Palpatine and wants to take his home back from his sister self. Hadrian agrees to help in exchange for the weapons on Vorgossos. They lay siege. Lady Palpatine has a clone of Hadrian, and a clone of Valka. She offers Valka to Hadrian as a peace offering to try and sway him to her side. Hadrian says 'not today, Satan!' and defeats her. Hadrian gets the weapons to kill the watchers and gets the Demiurge. He sets out to go eat the sun.
submitted by Known-Map9195 to sollanempire [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 16:35 silvy_xoxo Aiti for stopping my friendship with my autistic friend?

I 15 and my friend 15f stopped being friends because i ended the friendship the reason why is because she disrespected me and my other friends religion , this was a couple of months back but my friend that i'll call mimi resently started to spread rumors about me and what really happened , a little contect about me few months ago i was a really shy person i hated talking but for some reason my friend always tried to make me speak even if i told her to not force me but what was made it bad was that whenever i wanted to actually talk she used to either shut me down or said she didn't want to talk herself now before you go after me i get that she is autistic and that we both don't think the same but she is really low on the spectrum she can still function like anyone, back on the subject we were at lunch went this happened and another friend i'll call tanya was explaining to another one of my friends her religion and why in her religion they believed that cows are holy i personally wasn't participating in this convo but i was curious , after a few minutes tanya said "oh what makes God holy?" ( i had asked her what she meant by using this analogy and she said she meant it as "what makes God holy makes a cow Holy") then mimi out of nowhere says "Oh God is Holy because he has a hole an a**hole" Like excuse me? i know she has autisim but that is no excuse like everyone at the table turned to her and started saying "Mimi that's disrespectful don't say that" as someone who isn't that religious but found refuge in God i found that even more disrespectful , but the thing is that she didn't even apologize she just started using her autism as to why she said that (this wasn't the first time she used her autism as an excuse) and then when i said something along the lines of "that isn't a f*cking excuse Mimi your being disrespectful as hell just own up to it" she started saying that she didn't know that we were talking about God , but if you don't know what we are talking about just don't say anything. And now were here and she started spreading rumors about what actually happened all of them about how i was being hateful to her because she asked a question about religion, Please Reddit do you think i don't know what to do
submitted by silvy_xoxo to u/silvy_xoxo [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 15:35 Scapegoat24 It's probably a silly argument, but I need to vent

Hi, guys.
I need to vent. I try to ignore this and not react to it, but sometimes it's just overbearing. And I feel like a failure because I let this get to me when I could just ignore it. I could talk to a friend about this, but I feel it's always something so stupid and I am embarrassed! Not to mention, what they tell me is like "You should move out" and "If I were you, I wouldn't submit myself to it and I would just tell him everything" as if I was weak and had no boundaries. I feel judged and embarrassed. I have no conditions to move out even though I am older now (turning 30 yo) and work for myself.
I usually don't cry but this made me cry hard after the argument. Maybe because I had been having a good week and this escalated out of nowhere!
So, my godmother invited my parents to have lunch together this Saturday, she was going to throw a family party and invited our family to lunch. She did so on Thursday - not much anticipation, just the Portuguese way. My sibling was going out of town this weekend, and I was the only one who stayed. On Saturdays, my parents usually rent their office to a friend of my mom's who is a psychologist. It's at 1 PM but they usually open the door to her around 12:40/12:45 pm. So, they needed someone to open the door to her when she arrived, because they were going to the party!
When my nfather called me, he exposed the situation and he asked me in a way he'd be hoping that I said no (because he needed someone to open the door to the friend). He's usually really upset when we don't come to family things, especially when she's my godmother, but this time he just asked me "Do... Do you want to come?" lol It was obvious! I said no and that I already had plans - to be fair, I hadn't, I knew I had something on but wasn't sure what.
My godmother lives at a 1-hour distance from us, more or less. And usually, my parents go shopping first thing in the morning, which they did today as well. But they left the house around the same time they did on the other weekends (11 AM) and arrived home at 12:30 PM lol So, while helping them unpack the groceries, I asked what happened and told my mom (but my nfather listened and assumed it was foagainst him) that, if they were to leave and come back home this late, they should have just opened the door to the psychologist instead and asked her to come earlier, than asking me to readjust my plans.
And, Hell started. He came to the kitchen and said with such a bratty smile "Look, do a sacrifice for the poor infants of this world" and a bunch of other stuff lol I explained to him that I was doing them a favor and that I had changed my plans over this, so this wasn't fair, and - after he started throwing shit at me - that his attitude was wrong. I did the same thing he always does - he likes to say how other people should react and speak to his words - apologetically - instead of arguing (ex.: "You should just have said 'Sorry, dad, I was tired and couldn't do it, but I will do better next time'). So, I said something along the lines of "I'm cancelling my plans to do you a favor and it turns out it wouldn't have been needed in the first place. It would be okay if you told me 'I was late, X happened, I'm sorry'.
He started yelling about how I should be humbler, how he's the most humble person in this house (also yelling about how he helps everyone but no one helps him - fake -, how much he works and has two PhDs... lol See how humble he is!), on how I should be embarrassed before God and learn how to do sacrifices (to him, this was a sacrifice for God, not a favor for him), how I was a sinner, etc, etc. I couldn't hold my tongue and told him he was the least humble person and the most sinner person I've ever met and that he'd certainly go to Hell instead lol To this, he said God is at his side always.
He also accused me of charging him with that just because I was doing him a favor. I mean, if I asked someone for a favor but it turned out I had been troubling them when I could have done it myself, I would take the comment and apologize instead, or ignore him. But he took that as a criticism. And, when I told him to stop throwing shit at me, he said: "I am not shit, stop insulting me, you're shit!" lol And I said I wasn't insulting him, I was saying he was arguing shitty things and that it wasn't the same. He kept repeating that, so I said, "If you think otherwise, then okay, but it's on you"... and he was like "No, you called me shit, you insulted me, see? Here you have it, God just has heard you, hahaha".
I hate this religious shit and I don't believe him. He's becoming too focused on religion (he was always, to the point of saying "God punished you" whenever I fell as a child, but now he's more). When I was young, I used to cry and ask God how could God support someone like him who'd abuse me - my mother once told me my nfather had a gift, that he could speak to God and get responses lol. As a child, I believed him and got sad over it.
But I learned better after a while, and understood he was just justifying his own inner thoughts and his attitudes as if they were God's will, and not his'. I don't even know why he thinks this affects me, I couldn't care less about religion tbh. I mean, I am catholic and I do pray at night, but it's for myself, I'm very far away from the beliefs and traditions most believers have. And for sure I don't act thinking about what is good or bad in the eyes of God lol
So, at a certain point, I told him that he should stop this and apologize instead, or else he'd have to open the door to her himself. At this, he said I was vengeful.
He spent so much time arguing with me and trying to get the last word in the conversation - with my mom telling him to stop because I needed to get ready to leave - and he only left here at 12:50 pm! Isn't this ridiculous? He left when the lady was here already, for sure! Then I cried so much afterward. But I was also a bit mean as I got late on purpose to open the door (which led me to my mom calling me, too). And now I have to go there and close it.
I don't know what to do, tbh. To be honest, I happened not making plans, so it's true I lied (and probably had no big reason to get upset at this...) but I had some work to do in the morning which got completely interrupted because of that favor. And now I need to get back to it but I can't, I am a mess!
I don't know why this bothered me so much - my take is that it messed with my routine and expectations and that they're too intense and stressed whenever they're late, making a big deal of everything and ruining my peaceful mornings -, and I hate how I feel I was being too complicated and threw that comment. But at the same time, he was the one who felt attacked and got into an argument, right?
They don't like to be indebted and I'm pretty sure he knew it was on him - if he needed to get to the party early and couldn't afford to open the door to that person, why wouldn't he just organized himself better? Every time we plan stuff and he says he's in a hurry, he still makes no effort to get up earlier, leaving the house later and then throwing shit because he's late!
But it's ridiculous the religious talk and the way he was trying to manipulate me into thinking I was calling him names, etc. And the whole "do a sacrifice for all the poor infants of this world". For God's sake!
Now I have to go and close the office for them, haven't had lunch yet, nor do I want to. I need to work, but I also need to go shopping for something and have no interest or willingness to have dinner with them.
submitted by Scapegoat24 to narcissisticparents [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 15:34 Sad-Extreme-4413 Help! I Fucked Up Again!

Hey Reddit,
I need some advice. I went on a date today with a girl I met on Tinder. We went bowling and had sushi for dinner, and honestly, we had the best time. We ended up sitting in the food court and talking for hours about work, music, films, TV, and our general interests and hobbies. Things got pretty deep when we started talking about family, religion, and emotions.
During our conversation, she opened up about having depression and anxiety, both of which are medicated, and she also receives disability payments alongside working. By the end of the night, we were still deep in conversation about her being a loner with no friends or social circle. She started having anxiety/panic attacks and dry coughing, worried she might vomit, as we were continuing our chats in her car since it was cold outside. I sat with her, calmed her down, and she got better, but she got anxious again, so I calmly talked to her to try and distract her. The good news is, we've planned to go to the local zoo for our next date.
However, on the car ride home, I started second-guessing everything. I don’t know if I can be with someone who’s clinically depressed and anxious. I've been through depression and have General Anxiety myself, and I don’t want to go back to that dark place. Plus, she’s already told her parents about me, and her dad is eager to meet me. Whoa! It’s only been one date, and I'm not ready for that level of commitment.
I want to be with someone who brings out the best version of me—someone who’s fun, bubbly, kind, and extroverted. However, she’s not. Despite this, we exchanged numbers, I told her I see potential in us, and we agreed on a second date.
When I got home, I was on the verge of tears, as this brought back bad memories of me being depressed and trying to fix my anxiety and my mum told me to thank her but ghost her as she’s an anchor dragging me to the bottom. She said she doesn't want to see me with a girl who’ll drag me down and bring back my previous depression and anxiety. She wants to see me getting out and being social, not being in my room every weekend.
How and when should I tell her this is too much for me? Any advice would be appreciated.
TL;DR: Went on a great date, but the girl has clinical depression and anxiety. She’s already told her parents about me. I have my own history with depression and anxiety, and my mom advised me to ghost her. How do I tell her it's too much for me?
submitted by Sad-Extreme-4413 to tinderstories [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 14:30 UnicornsnRainbowz Ten Questions For Each MBTI Type - Exxx Edition

Split them into two different ones due to length. I’ll answer my own types in the comments as well.
————
Questions for each of the MBTI
ENFP:
  1. How do you handle conflicts with others? Does your approach change one to one versus a group situation?
  2. When do you feel the most inclined to take a leadership role? Is there a time when you feel you are the most qualified person to do this?
  3. How easily do you use past experiences to help you decide on whether a decision is good or not?
  4. In what way do you use organisation and detail to help narrow down your ideas and perspectives?
  5. At what times are you able to narrow down your options and zone in on details? Is this easier when dealing with logic or emotions?
  6. Do you often find yourself afraid of what others think of you or are you more inclined not to pick up any indication on how people feel for you at all?
  7. Do you find at times you feel like you’ve got a situation or project all sorted out but then realise you’ve missed vital steps? How do you handle this?
  8. Do you often struggle with staying in the current moment? If so are you daydreaming, thinking of the past, thinking of the future or a mix of these?
  9. When you do notice external stimuli, do you often create links and connections to other things? If so, give an example:
  10. You're meeting up with your friend in town but just as you arrive she tells you shed like to meet somewhere else - she isn't doing it to be a pain she just had. An awesome new ideas for what to do how are you most likely to take this change in plan?
ENTP: 1. Have you ever had to make a difficult decision about your future? How did you handle this? 2. When you receive conflicting information, what is your process to assess and validate it? How do you feel when you cannot reach a final conclusion? 3. You've worked rralkt hard on a progeny and even ate up into some of your personal time. 4. In what way do you best take in new information? Does practice, associations or practical learning help you more? 5. In what way do you feel you contradict yourself as far as your personality traits are concerned? 6. Do you struggle to explain your ideas to other people? In what way do people react to your explanations? 7. Do you find it easy or hard to teach others how to do things? How do you handle people not being able to do something efficiently? 8. Do you find it hard to put into words how you feel emotionally about something? Can you sometimes struggle to identify how you feel yourself? 9. Do you notice how beautiful and interesting things are around you or are you prone to putting them into an analytical lens? 10. At what times are you most likely to be adventurous and spontaneous? Give an example of a time where you through caution to the wind and just did something:
ESTP: 1. What kind of things do you first notice when you go somewhere you’ve never been before? 2. In what ways do you work out whether your actions are sensible or practical? Do you often find yourself questioning whether you have made a sensible choice? 3. In what situations do you reach out to other people for support? How comfortable are you with asking for help or comfort from others? 4. Do you easily pick up on body language or do you find you need people to use words to convey their current feelings? 5. When organising items, do you tend to organise them by a certain rule (like colour, chronological order etc) or do you have a more unusual system? 6. How comfortable are you taking a leadership role? Do you feel you are able to show authority? 7. When asked your opinion how comfortable are you with being open about what you feel? 8. Do you like trying new foods or are you stick to a few of the same dishes you know you like? 9. When you come up with a new idea do you often have a long range view of how you want it to go or do you create it and then apply practicality to it afterwards? 10. How do you balance your thirst for knowledge with your need for creative expression? Do you find you can use both together or do you need to focus on just one?
ESFP: 1. What is the most exciting thing you’ve done this year? How did you feel when doing it? 2. Do you feel your interests paint a picture of the type of person you are? In what ways? 3. What do you think is your greatest practical skill? How did you learn this skill? 4. Are you good at being able to work out how a movie or book ends? Do you like to do this or just immerse yourself in the plot? 5. How do you feel about routine? Do you find it hard to stick to one? 6. Do you think you’re a good judge of character? What makes you think you are or are not? 7. Are you good at puzzles and trivia? Is there a certain topic you know a lot about? 8. Do you find it difficult to get inspiration? In what way do you try to gain creative inspiration? 9. Do you have good coordination? Does this help you in the activities you enjoy doing? 10. How easily scared are you? Do you think you’re braver than the average person?
ESTJ: 1. What do you think you’re an expert at? If nothing, what do you have good skills in? 2. What part of your daily routine would you refuse to change? How does this activity benefit you? 3. When you come up with a new idea are you likely to keep it to yourself or share it with others? 4. When are you the most stubborn? Are you easily pursued of new things or are you quite a rigid thinker? 5. In what areas do you feel you’re able to coach others on? Do you think you’d make a good teacher? 6. When brainstorming do you prefer to use lists, diagrams,94)34 visual aids or something else? 7. What activities would you like to try but haven’t got around to yet? What’s holding you back from doing this? 8. How do you know when a conversation is going well? Do you pick up cues more from facial expressions or voice tone? 9. In what areas do you think you lack common sense? Have there been times where you just didn’t think things through? 10. How do you distinguish when a situation needs tact and sensitivity versus when you need to be upfront and to the point? Do you think you’re good at knowing when to do these?
ESFJ: 1. Are there times when you are not able to think objectively because you have too much of a personal investment in a situation? How do you tend to handle these situations? 2. Do certain smells or sounds bring back memories to you? How strongly of an emotional effect does this have on you? 3. When you’re trying out clothes, what makes you decide what style, colour, aesthetic you’d like to go with? Do you prefer to stick to your usual or do you like having a wide variety? 4. You’re asked to do a spreadsheet at school or work on how your colleagues or classmates did in the end of year test - how confident are you that you could pull this off effectively? 5. What gets in the way of you expressing your feelings? Do you struggle more with sharing your feelings, asking for what you need or complaining about something bad? Why do you think this is? 6. What’s your relationship like with animals? Do you have a preference for the type of animal you interact with? 7. Your close friend asks you what you really think of her boyfriend - he has some good points but he has also treated her quite poorly. Do you tell her that you kike him and mention the good points, tell her you dislike him because of how he treats her, tell her you don’t mind him and mention some good stuff but also mention you feel he has treated her badly or do you try to change the subject? Explain your reason: 8. In what way do you show your creativity? 9. Do you find music is very emotive for you? Do certain genres illicit a certain reaction in you? 10. Would you say you’re good at putting plans into action? Do you feel you’re the kind of person that would be good at organising a party?
ENFJ: 1. Do you struggle with losing your ideas in a group setting? Is it difficult to make your feelings heard? 2. Can you tell when someone is unhappy with you? In what say wpuls Ali handle a situation where som one is irritated with you? 3. youre bing treated to a fun experience, all expense paid - what activity would you choose and whom would you take with you? 4. Your friend has told you about this amazing YouTuber - yes really smart and makes videos on a topic that sounds interesting, but also is complicated. Dl you think you works watch their videos? How easily do you feel your learn about the complex ideas they present? 5. one of your friends has forgotten your birthday and irvreally upsets you, because you alwayscremmber theirs - howcwoukd you handle this situation? Would you share how you felt or keep it to yourself? 6. Youre in a drama class and the teacher asks you to come up with a twustvon a popular movie to dramatist. How well do you think your come up with ideas? What worked you use fie inspiration for these ideas? 7. You're driving past your childhood home and pass your school from when you were little - would you want to stop and take a look, drive by and think no more of it or would you drive but remember all the memories you have, good and bad? 8. How do you work with deadlines? Does the pressure enciyragecyou or make you nervous? 9. In what order do you decide to do thecrides at the amusement park or to see the animals wt the zoo? Do you go in order or do you go by your favorites first? 10. How good are you at nqrroing down your options?
ENTJ: 1. Are you the kind of person that questions authority? If so, what’s your approach in bringing up an issue? 2. If your friend comes to you and says they really need someone to look after their dog, what would you say - in this situation the dog is well behaved and you aren’t doing anything important: 3. How good are you at strategy games? Do you plan far ahead to maximise your score or mission or do you just look at the very next step ahead and how you can do this most efficiently? 4. If you were to go on a walk what type of location would you like this to be in - for example a forest, cornfield, through the streets, down by the lake, beach…: 5. When deciding what career you want/wanted, what was the process? Did you choose something you’re good at and enjoy or did you go for something that has a good wage and is stable? 6. What subject in school did you excel at and which were you the worst at? Had this changed over time or have you always felt this way? 7. How careful are you to not offend people? Are you good at telling whether you have offended someone or not? 8. What item from your childhood do you still have to this day? 9. Does music play a big part in your life? Do you have a set playlist for certain things like studying, driving or sleeping? 10. When someone corrects you for example, a spelling mistake - do you find this annoying or are you grateful that it has been pointed out?
INFJ: 1. Do you have a specific belief system or religion that you take part in? If so, how important is this to you in your everyday life? 2. When you’re not feeling your best, what do you do to lift your mood? 3. You’re just coming out of the shop when a woman runs up to you and says she can’t find her child anywhere can you please help her search for him? Would you help her search, look for a security guard to help her or something else? 4. On a scale of 1-10 how annoying would you find it if someone asks if you’d read through their essay and check it for spelling mistakes or typos? 5. You’re at a party and spot someone sat alone and looking quite anxious - are you more likely to go up to them and talk or would you choose to stay where you are as you don’t know this person and you don’t know if they’d appreciate it or not? 6. When someone criticises a decision you made how do you tend to approach it? How much would the criticism bother you? 7. Do you remember name or faces better? 8. What role do you most often find yourself in when working on a group project? 9. How organised are you? Do you find that this can vary? 10. What genre are you most interested in?
submitted by UnicornsnRainbowz to mbti [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 13:46 Repulsive_Spite_4992 Banned bird, this is how your report should have been.

Banned bird......This is a report (Elphaba)
To whom this concerns,
On the evening's 30/4/24- 1/5/24, I was absolutely horrified and left in disgust at the behaviour of one of your creators on tiktok live. Elphaba Orion Doherty, who also uses other accounts to side step account bans, displayed extremely horrifying behaviour that should never be witnessed on the app.
Thousands of people, potentially even many more thousands after the initial incident, were subjected to dangerous suicide baiting behaviour and violent content by Elphaba Orion Doherty. She held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill herself to thousands upon thousands of viewers, whilst appearing to be very unstable after an incident the previous evening of claiming she had self harmed. On the day of the 1/5/24, she was even showing her viewers, who again were in the thousands her self harm "injuries" on her wrist and arm, saying that she would "show them" to her viewers so she could manipulate her audience for more gifts.
Elphaba Orion Doherty was allowed, despite thousands and thousands and thousands of reports for online safety due to the content of brandishing a knife to her own throat, threatening harm to herself and saying she "wants to die" These reports were all received with no violations and the live was allowed to continue for over twenty minutes.
Children under the age of sixteen years of age have self harmed as a result of this. Adults who experience mental health battles have harmed themselves as a result of this. Families and friends of those who have committed suicide have been affected by this.
This creator has a track record of inflammatory behaviour on the app, which again has been reported on numerous occasions because of the very real risk to children who do have access to the app. Not only just children and impressionable young people, but also the vupnerable adults and everhone else who is subjected to this behaviour. The content of this creator suicide baiting, threatening to kill themselves, actively abusing alcohol and narcotics whilst on live is completely unacceptable. If she isn't displaying the above-mentioned behaviour, then she is demanding gifts and money from her viewers, literally demanding.
Due to Elphaba being a trans creator and also young (20 years of age) She is very attractive to the younger generations, the target audience being children as a large percentage of her gifters and viewers are children. She already has an extremely negative influence on these children, with her regular intoxicated ramblings, narcotic induced tantrums, and now suicide baiting and self harming while on live, is a psychological and emotional minefield for children. Elphaba needs IP bans and enforced bans from making other accounts for the safety and well-being of so many people who use the app and platform for welcomed, creative purposes.
On a daily basis, Elphaba breaks the platforms own policies. Please see below. And I am using general terms in referring to youths 13+ who are legally allowed to have accounts and access to the platform.
TIKTOK POLICY BREACHES
•"Youth safety is our priority. We do not allow content that may put young people at risk of exploitation, or psychological, physical, or developmental harm. This includes child sexual abuse material (CSAM), youth abuse, bullying, dangerous activities and challenges, exposure to overtly mature themes, and consumption of alcohol, tobacco, drugs, or regulated substances. If we become aware of youth exploitation on our platform, we will ban the account, as well as any other accounts belonging to the person."
As we are aware that Elphaba Orion Doherty has regularly exploited 13+ youths to emotional and psychological harm by displaying the above mentioned behaviour of suicide baiting, self harm, narcotic and alcohol abuse on a regular basis. Elphaba regularly discusses sexual exhibitionism and sexual assault incidents that have allegedly happened to her, and she routinely sexualises comments and innuendos that are inappropriate entirely. Not to mention how Elphaba regularly manipulates her young viewers for gifts.
•"We are committed to bringing people together in a way that does not lead to physical conflict. We recognize that online content related to violence can cause real-world harm. We do not allow any violent threats, incitement to violence, or promotion of criminal activities that may harm people, animals, or property. If there is a specific, credible, and imminent threat to human life or serious physical injury, we report it to relevant law enforcement authorities."
The platform does have many qualities and content that is perfect for what is described, however Elphaba has threatened to physically harm other creators on a regular basis, has been active in criminal activities such as using narcotics, encouraging underage drinking of alcohol and encouraging dangerous behaviour.
• "TikTok is enriched by the various backgrounds of our community members. Our differences should be respected, rather than a cause for division. We do not allow any hateful behavior, hate speech, or promotion of hateful ideologies. This includes content that attacks a person or group because of protected attributes, including: Caste, Ethnicity, National Origin, Race, Religion, Tribe, immigration status, Gender, Gender Identity, sex, sexual orientation, disability, serious diseases."
Elphaba has repeatedly broken these guidelines which have been reported, again thousands of thousands of times in her lives. She has been transphobic, racist remarks, direct racism to other content creators, discriminatory towards other genders. She has also made sexualised remarks regarding other's sexual identity and violent sexual exhibitionism regarding others of the opposite sex.
• "TikTok is a place where people can come to discuss or learn about sexuality, sex or reproductive health. We are mindful that certain content may not be appropriate for young people, may be considered offensive by some, or may create the potential for exploitation. We do not allow sexual activity or services. This includes sex, sexual arousal, fetish and kink behavior, and seeking or offering sexual services. However, it does not include reproductive health and sex education content."
Elphaba does not host informative content such as sex education or reproductive health discussions. She regularly broadcasts that she wants to find a "man" and how he needs to have particular attributes. She often discusses what she would do to these men, quite graphically which again, is not appropriately for her target audience.
• "We celebrate all shapes and sizes and want people to feel comfortable in how they present themselves and their bodies. We understand societies approach body exposure and clothing differently, so we seek to reflect prevailing cultural norms about nudity. We do not allow nudity, including uncovered genitals and buttocks, as well as nipples and areolas of women and girls. Sheer and partially see-through clothing is not considered covered. We allow regional exceptions for showing nipples and areolas in limited situations, such as medical treatment, educational purposes, or as a part of culturally accepted practices. Not all young people have the developmental maturity to respond to unwanted physical attention and uninvited sexualization, which may lead to psychological or physical harm. We do not allow significant body exposure of young people. Content is age-restricted if it shows significant body exposure of an adult. Content is ineligible for the FYF if it shows moderate body exposure of a young person, or significant body exposure of an adult. We allow regional exceptions for body exposure in limited situations, such as common cultural practices."
Elphaba on more than one occasion has exposed their genitals, full genitals while dancing provocatively in a dress at a club and this video has circulated. She has also exposed herself on her own lives while wearing a different dress on a separate occasion. She has also exposed her chest and cleavage in provocative dresses, including adding make up to accentuate herself to be more visually appealing.
•" TikTok is a place where people can come to discuss or learn about sexuality, sex or reproductive health. We are mindful that certain content may not be appropriate for young people, may be considered offensive by some, or may create the potential for exploitation. We do not allow sexual activity or services. This includes sex, sexual arousal, fetish and kink behavior, and seeking or offering sexual services. However, it does not include reproductive health and sex education content."
Elphaba regularly discusses her sexual preferences and discusses her kinks and broadcasts her sexual desires whilst on live stream. She routinely discusses her slime fetish, venom fetish, vore, human bodily fluids and often discusses masturbation.
• "In a global community, it is natural for people to have different opinions, but we seek to operate on a shared set of facts and reality. We do not allow inaccurate, misleading, or false content that may cause significant harm to individuals or society, regardless of intent. Significant harm includes physical, psychological, or societal harm, and property damage. It does not extend to commercial and reputational harm, nor does it cover simply inaccurate information and myths. We rely on independent fact-checking partners and our database of previously fact-checked claims to help assess the accuracy of content. Content is ineligible for the FYF if it contains general conspiracy theories or unverified information related to emergencies. To be cautious, content that warrants fact-checking is also temporarily ineligible for the FYF while it is undergoing review. To help you manage your TikTok experience, we add warning labels to content related to unfolding or emergency events which have been assessed by our fact-checkers but cannot be verified as accurate, and we prompt people to reconsider sharing such content."
Elphaba regularly discusses dark conspiracies such as governmental conspiracy, wars and conflicts and repeatedly spreads misinformation medically, politically and in general day to day life and has consistently preached anti governmental propaganda.
• "Content shared online may be seen by anyone, and has a wide reach. We are committed to making sure that any personal information shared intentionally or accidentally on TikTok does not lead to harm. We do not allow content that includes personal information that may create a risk of stalking, violence, phishing, fraud, identity theft, or financial exploitation. This includes content that someone has posted themselves or that they consented to being shared by others."
Personal information has been broadcasted by Elphaba where she has, on numerous occasions attempted to "expose" other tiktok creator's who have spoken out against her behaviour. She has actively put out personal information in terms of photos, names, addresses and incited hatred from her own viewers and supporters on these people she believes is against her when these people simply want to make the app safer for everyone involved. Essentially, Elphaba has "doxxed" also known as, leaking private information in the belief to cause malicious harm. She has also financially exploited vulnerable viewers who have sent ridiculously large amounts of gifts in (monetary value) under the agreement or promise of personal interaction on a one to one basis, or to join the live, or her usual speech is "Send a big gift for a follow"
UK LAW BREACHES
• Threatening behaviour with an offensive weapon - This can be prosecuted under The Offensive Weapons Act 2019, Threatening with an offensive weapon etc in a private place – Section 52.
•Threatening behaviour to other creators - This can be prosecuted under the Malicious Communication Act 1988 and the Communications Act 2003. Online threats could take many forms including threats to kill, harm or to commit an offence against a person, group of people or organisation
• Talking sexually to Minors - This can be prosecuted under Section 67 of the Serious Crime Act 2015, Section 15A. Furthermore, it can be prosecuted under Protection of Children Act 1978 if "sexting" occurs towards a minor. To also add that if the offender is under the age of 16, the following legislation can be pursued Protection of Children Act 1978.
• Obtaining money through tiktok gifts and Go fund me under the representation it for transitioning surgery - This can be prosecuted under The Fraud Act 2006, a,b and C, being false representation and misinformation. Other charges under the same bracket can be made due to the nature of the offences.
• Refund fraud, ie ordering food and returning it for monetary gain and at the loss of another - The above act also covers this.
• Fraud committed through the use of computer or mobile, technology devices including using the above mentioned methods to further commit crimes - This is prosecuted under Computer Misuse Act 1990.
• Blackmailing or threatening particular actions or behaviour that is to force someone to do a specific thing - This is prosecuted under The criminal offence of blackmail under the section 21 of the Theft Act 1968.
There are so many more things that could be added to this report.
Also, please see the attached online safety bill, which Elphaba is in direct breach of in regards to her content and live streaming behaviour ;
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/2023/50/enacted
I look forward to your reply.
submitted by Repulsive_Spite_4992 to Elphaoriondoherty [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 13:37 Fyraltari Chapter Eight: The Colovian Frontier (2024/05/18)

Colovia long been a vital component of the Empire, its mineral riches and hardy people, ideally suited to serve in the Legions, complementing the Niben's vast agricultural output and advanced wizardry. This is for these very reasons that, during the Second Great War, the Aldmeri focused their initial assault on the region. But the devastation brought on by the fierce fighting would pale in comparison to the ravages brought on by the Silver Plague, often carried there from far-off lands by unsuspecting human Legionnaire or Elven soldiers. As a result the region suffered the highest death toll of the epidemic, with estimates ranging from three fourths to five sixths of the population dying. Ghastly tales abound of cohorts coming to the defense of specific settlements only to find them inhabited only by corpses showing the infamous pale sheen that gave the disease its name. In order to survive, the people fled towns and cities to the relative isolation of the countryside. While some gathered to the ancient Wayshrines of the Divines whose blessings seem to offer some amount of protection (in particular those dedicated to Arkay near Skingrad and Kvatch), most turned to banditry with a crueltry born of desperation. This period of lawlessness, colloquially known as "The Days of Lean Wolves", crippled any attempt at centralized governments and even today, almost two hundred years later, the Colovian city-states can only reliably control their close surroundings.
The largest and most powerful city of Colovia is Chorrol. Of all the kingdoms of the region it is the one who has changed the least from the days of the Empire. Indeed, Chorrol fancies herself the leader of reborn "Colovian Estates" and a rival of Cheydinhal for the legacy of the Empire of Cyrodiil, to the point that her monarchs have eschewed the title of king in favor of that of Archduke of Colovia. The greatest pride of the Chorrolinas is the Great Chapel of Stendarr, which has been continously expanded in size to serve as fortress to the Knightly Order of the Crusaders of Stendarr, which has swelled to numbers not seen since the Interregnum of the Second Era. More academically-minded visitors will no doubt seek the College of Whispers, seated in the Great Oak Plaza and whose advances in enchanting, though religiously controversial, have done wonders for the economy of the city, which relies mainly on lumber, tin and copper.
The second most powerful city in the region, and Chorrol's main rival, is Skingrad, the City of Julianos. During the First Great War, the city's count was revealed by the invading Elves to have been an undying vampire, Janus Hassildor, who had ruled the county continously since the late Third Era through intermediaries and passing himself as his own descendants. While he was saved in extremis from death by sunlight exposure in public by faithful servants, the visible toll the punishment had taken on him had made his nature undeniable and following the White-Gold Concordate, Titus II saw fit to name General Jonna Countess of Skingrad, as reward for her service during the Great War. Unfortunately for the people of the City, their new Nordic Countess was a soldier through and through and her main concern was preparing for the coming second conflict with the Dominion, all other matters be damned, and she became widely unpopular. Nonetheless, when the city found herself to be among the first urban center hit by the Sivler Plague just as an Aldmeri army marched on, Conutess Jonna recognized the impossibility of holding under siege and ordered the entire city to be evacuated while she lead her troops into a sacrificial charge against the Elves. It is perhaps then unsurprising that when Janus Hassildor made himself known again, his former subjects flocked to the one who they associated with their former Golden age. King Janus now openly rules the City as a vampire, a condition shared by several of his courtiers, though he insists that they only feed on those criminals sentenced to death and willing donors (indeed it is rumored to be a way of quick advancement within the Vampire King's court). Despite the best efforts of "the wine capital of Cyrodiil", this state of affair casts a gloomy image on the city, something not helped by the persistent rumors that the ghosts of the Elven army, who allegedly all died of the plague less than a day after taking the city, haunt the streets at night.
While her leadership has traditionally belogned to the Crown party of Redguards, descended from the Totambu aristocracy of Yokuda, the common people of Elinhir have always mingled with their Cyrodiilic neighbors to the East and adopted many trappings of their culture, to the point the city is now considered a part of Colovia rather than Hammerfell by her people, something that the Yokedate to the South-West objects to in the strongest possible way. As such, it is perhaps unsuprising that when the city's nobility fell victim to the plague, the Elinhirri turned to the Blackcasters, the ancient order of wizards who gave the "City of Mages" its epithet. While their remedies where only mildly effective in combatting the Plague, their potent destruction magic proved invaluable in defending the city against its various enemies. As a result the Elinhirri are now ruled by a concil of six Archmagisters, each specializing in one of the Schools of Magic, who serve for life (after which their surviving colleagues pick their replacement from the order's most talented wizards). Should the council be tied, a, elected representative of the common people, the Speaker, whose role is otherwise purely advisory, is allowed a deciding vote.
During the Interwar Period, the ancient city of Sutch, which had become nothing more than a ruin occupied by bandits was re-fortified to defend against and invasion from Valenwood. The old Great Chapel of Kynareth was rebuilt and commoners moved from the Highlands to support the Garrison. While it was undeniably fought over fiercely, it is unknown which side (if any) came on top as the belligerants were decimated byt the plague and all corpses found inside were burned by the town's new masters. Indeed when the Plague had abated and people moved to re-settle the city, they found it already inhabited, by goblins. Several tribes had come under the leadership of a particularly cunning warlord and taken the fortress as their own. As the humans prepared to make war, to free their homeland, the Primate of Kynareth, Andreas Jarrol, brokered a peaceful solution to the conflict, allowing humans and goblin-ken to co-exist as he spread the the teachings of Kynareth to the primitives, today the city is still lead by Goddess' Primate. Sutch remains the smallest of city states of Colovia, but it profits immensely from trade with nearby Anvil and the Freehold Republic.
Kvatch was long a successful example of a city re-ermerging from the Days of the Lean Wolves as the ruling monarchs took advantage of Bsomeri refugees fleeing the chaos of Valenwood to bolster their economy and even found satellite cities. Unfortunately a fringe movement of Ayleid Revivalists successfully overthrew them and created a "New Ayeleid Imperium" which spread over Valenwood, leaving the city a client state of Silvenar. Furthermore the Chantry of Akatosh was made to incorporate ever more elements of Almderi/Ayleid religion, now even referring to the Time God as Auri-El and open worship of the Daedric Prince Meridia. Despite this state of affair, many Kvatchians have kept ties with Colovia and a small but growing Akatoshic movement gathers regularly at the Wayshrine of Akatosh near the City.
The final city of note to mention is Sancre Tor, the Craddle of Empires. The Golden Hill had been abandonned and considred cursed since the days of Tiber Septim but in 4E 266, the many minotaur tribes of Cyrodiil congregated towards Sancre Tor, at the behest of the Cow-Queen Ahrzum, who had received a vision of her distant ancestor Morihaus, and proceeeded to rebuild the city with amazing speed. This was initially witnessed with worry by the neigbouring towns and the city of Chorrol in particular who clashed several times with the Manbeasts as they foraged for supplies. But in 4E 320, the largest nomad horde yet seen moved through the region, and both cities allied together to repel them, this alliance was followed by a trade deal, and soon enough the Kingdom of Sancre Tor became a recognized polity of Cyrodiil. It has even become a major pilgrimage site as people come to pray on the spots where Alessia, Reman and Tiber were granted the Amulet of Kings. The Minotaurs have allowed this although they keep their own religion, whose major figures are the Heavenly Bull, Morihaus, his mother the Storm, his wife Alessia and her father Shezarr.
As explained above, these cities only control a fraction of the region and many villages and small towns are de facto independent, while large stretches of lands remain unclaimed, their mineral and agricultural wealths dormant. However this sorry state of affairs is soon to be a thing of the past as the East Empire Company has vastly invested in the revalorisation of the region by re-establishing ancient roads (made secure by Company security forces trained by Legion veterans), connecting isolated villages, and sponsoring indepedent settlers. Colovia shall soon enough once more be a beacon of civilization for the rest of Tamriel!
Yzmul gra-Maluk: by "connecting villages" and "sponsoring settlers" they mean using predatory loans to trap them in debt and use them as cheap labor, at least until they can get undead to do it for even less. They are entire tracks of lands where the EEC might as well be the government. Makes sense, the Potentate's got some restrictions about how bad you can treat your people and that's already too much for the EEC fatcats. Also, most people I've talked to in Kvatch don't seem to mind having Bosmer, sorry Ayleid, rulers instead of humans. And the goblins of Sutch are on equal footing with the Colovians there, hell, it's their connection with the goblins of the Freehold that made trade possible.
submitted by Fyraltari to PGE_4 [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 12:35 BumblebeeAny3143 I watched Boom. It was awful.

This episode reminded me of everything I hated about Moffat's writing, and just when I was starting to look back at his Era with a bit of nostalgia too.
For starters, the entire premise is just nonsense! Who invades a planet that doesn't have anybody on it?! Why were they invading if nobody was on it?! Why is the stupid soldier church from the Smith Era back?! Why is Vilingrad, or however the heck it's spelled, still around if the Ninth Doctor already destroyed it as mentioned way back in The Doctor Dances?! Why would the church not scan for lifeforms on the planet?! Why would they not scan for heat readings or literally any other possible sort of scan that would indicate that there was something alive?! Why were their own mines programmed to kill them?! What is the point of intelligent mines if they can't tell friend from foe!? That's the whole reason you would make an intelligent mine to begin with! Why would the company algorithm be programmed to kill people or maintain a casualty rate?! That makes no sense whatsoever! Surely, the most economical thing ambulances could do would be maintain the numbers that are already on the battlefield. Why would they be programmed to kill anyone? Why wouldn't the mine automatically kill the Doctor as soon as it scanned him and found out he wasn't human? Why would the Doctor be able to blow up half the planet?! Seriously, this is a return of Moffat's overpowered regenerations. I hated it in Time of the Doctor when Eleven's regenerative energy was able to destroy a fleet and a town. I hate the implication here too. Was the little girl able to get out of the basecamp on her own, or did Monday, or whatever the heck her name was, go out with her? If the first, how was she able to get out? If the second, why would Monday agree to let a little girl out into a warzone?! Why the hell would the corporation agree to Splice being able to live out here anyway?! It contradicts the whole message about expending the minimum number of resources, just enough to keep them buying, if they let a whole extra person come and stay in the warzone! Also, why couldn't Monday have just shot herself? Why did she need Ruby to do it, which conveniently led to her getting shot because the other soldier shows up. Why is there an old woman as the face of the ambulances? What was the point of the lazy love story between the two soldiers other than to make it seem like these two cardboard cutouts of side characters have any character to them whatsoever?! This is another trope from Moffat's Era I hated, where the side characters didn't feel like people and instead like plot devices to move things along. Speaking of Moffat tropes, the digital afterlife is back. Yeah, I wasn't sick of that the other four times it happened. Also, the frozen snowflake/fly in the air is back. I wasn't sick of that the other two times it happened. Also, the power of love saving the day is back, logic be damned. Also, the Moffat deus ex machina is back. Also, the Doctor's god complex is back, in that one scene where he decides to antagonize Monday, even though that doesn't make any sense given his situation and any other Doctor would have worked to get her on their side so that she could help get them off of the mine, since her side were the ones that planted it anyway. Also, I hated the god complex Moffat gave the Doctor, and I still hate it now. Speaking of the Doctor, he's severely out of character. Why is Ncuti's Doctor so scared of everything!? Space Babies had him running from the monster, which is out of character considering he didn't know anything about it. The Devil's Chord had him spend the whole episode running from the Maestro, even though any other Doctor would have confronted them head on. And now Boom has him crying and frightened for literally the whole episode even though he would probably survive the process anyway through regeneration and he does literally nothing to try and save himself. Seriously, why didn't he use the sonic screwdriver?! Usually, they use the excuse of something being "deadlock sealed" to explain it away, but Moffat was too lazy to even include a line about that! How on earth does an AI have feelings? How was a single rogue virus able to overload the entire Vilingrad mainframe, as the Doctor says, even though it must be a universe spanning organization? Why couldn't the Doctor have used the sonic screwdriver to hack into the system through the ambulance and used his connection to it to deactivate the mine? It's still a bit convenient, but at least this way, the Doctor would show some initiative and ingenuity. Instead, he happens to get saved because a single rogue virus happened to be able to take down the entire universe spanning mainframe? That's so stupid and convenient, if RTD, or heck, any other writer, wrote this, everyone would complain about it being yet another deus ex machina!
And then of course, Moffat had to go out of his way to be insulting to Western religion. No Moffat, the church was never a military organization. Wars have been fought due to religious issues and causes, but the church itself, and the Biblical text which founded it, are not war-mongering! If you want to talk about a religion which actually is war-mongering, look no further than Islam and their global jihad, but somehow I don't think Moffat would ever dare criticize them, because that's not "politically correct". Also, no Moffat, faith doesn't mean believing in something without evidence, it means trust. As in, if I asked a good friend to get something from another room for me, I would have faith that they would do it, because I trust them.
One last thing that Moffat has demonstrated multiple times that he doesn't understand, capitalism is no more than an economic system. It doesn't have the power to make anyone do anything because it isn't a sentient being or object. Greed, on the other hand, is when someone does something out of a desire to gain more money and power. Greed is what this episode and its nonsense conflict are criticizing, not capitalism. Greedy people exist within capitalist societies, but capitalism is not responsible for that. The actions of each individual determine how greedy or generous they are. And one of the reasons people are greedy is because our culture has gone out of its way to remove all idea of a higher moral authority which will judge our actions in life, such as a god, something else this episode criticizes. So what do you want, Moffat? Religion enforces strict moral boundaries, such as giving to the poor, and an absence of consequence encourages greedy behavior. Which one do you want?
There's more, but I feel like I've wasted enough of my time on this dumpster fire of an episode.
submitted by BumblebeeAny3143 to doctorwho [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 06:28 Black_Cat_1111 Best Advice For Marriage Is Having No Expectations

In my opinion having high expectations is a huge problem when it comes to marriage especially from us guys. We are accustomed to be showered by images of beautiful women with flawless skins, toned bodies and that are almost perfect models. That becomes our default image of what a female or woman is that removes the human element from the fix.
The reasons models are called models is because that what they are show pieces. However it sets an unrealistic standard for women in us.
When we meet our partners those unrealistic standards disappoint us when we see that they aren't as flawless as the models.
Our partners might have belly fat, they might have streach marks, their bodies might be disproportionate, they might have scars, they might have acne or might not have attractive facial features. And having expectations will not just hurt us but also hurt them.
Our partners might feel unworthy or love, she might feel unattractive and that could seriously hurt her mental health and ultimately your relationship where she sees herself as a burden in your life as opposed to someone who you desire.
However here is that catch, once you remove all those expectations and enter into a relationship with a blank mind. Then what you find will be much different.
What you will find will be a woman who is willing to give you a chance to be her companion for the rest your both of your lives and you have yourself who has this option of a woman interested in knowing you.
Once you remove the physical expectations all you are left with is the human element. You will over look and ignore how much fat is on her stomach or how her face looks like. You would be interested in her from the standpoint of spending your entire life with her.
The questions you need to ask are will I be happy waking every morning next to her ? Do I want her to be the mother of my children? Will she make me happy ? Do I love her ? How close is she to religion ?
You start to notice how often she prays, how she covers herself, what are her hobbies and what are the things she likes talking about.
Once both of you get the answers to these questions the most important factor comes in and that is "LOVE".
If you both have fallen in love after finding out the answers to these questions then you should tie the knot and have your nikkah or else look for other options.
The good thing is that if you both do fall in love then that love will not be based on physical attributes hence the attraction will be long lasting and stuff like weight, color, body will not effect your attraction towards your partner.
Real women simply aren't flawless. They can never be perfect like the models.
Models diets are controlled, their faces are full of make up and the pictures we see are Photoshopped. Meanwhile the women we will marry need to have a healthy diet but also one where they can enjoy food with you (food is a major bonding way), you will eventually have to see them without make up 90 percent of the time after marriage and real life has no Photoshop.
Lastly even if our partners do feel insecure it is our job as men to make them feel secure. "I love you" and "You are beautiful" are 2 sentences that make all the difference and can never get old.
For example my partner has tons of belly fat and fat rolls. If she is feeling insecure in her dress I will gently put my hand on her tummy and look at her in the eyes and say "I love you". That is enough to make her feel confident and comfortable in her cloths
Likewise if your partner has allot of acne then you should gently touch her face and say "You are beautiful".
Our wives will be very thankful to us.
So to all my unmarried brothers don't treat marriage like a choure and fill your mind with expectations.
Think of your search as an exciting opportunity to interact with the opposite sex and find a female to whom you feel a bomd and attraction to.
They are humans, treat them like that.
They are just as excited and nervous interacting with males aswell so you both need to calm each other's nerves and have a good time knowing what the opposite sex thinks and how they feels rather than being fixated on their body parts.
submitted by Black_Cat_1111 to MuslimCorner [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 06:24 Niquexxx HELPPPP LESBIANS!

Hey everyone I need some advice.
I'm 23 I've only ever been with men before but I think I might be a lesbian. Let me give you guys a bit of backstory, because of my mother I grew up as a Jehovah's witness. I wasn't allowed to date as a teenager or explore my sexuality in the way most people do in their teens. In order to make my mom happy I followed the religion and didn't really start to become attracted to people until I was 16. Long story short I rebelled and lost my virginity to some guy I was "dating". TBH i didn't really like him and just went along with it because I thought well I'm a girl so I'm suppose to like boys. For some reason I couldn't fathom anything else. But the funny thing is, as far back as I can remember I've always stared at women. Not in the "oh she's pretty way" but in the "protagonist sees the female love interest for the first time way." I remember having the biggest crush on my first grade teacher.
I never really gave my staring any thought until I turned 19. I went ex Christian girl goes wild and had some flings with a couple of guys. I thought about my sexuality around that time and I considered myself Bi because I wasn't opposed to hooking up with a girl. Before I could even explore that side of me I ended up dating this guy for 4 years. Wasn't the greatest relationship but we had our good moments. We would go weeks sometimes without having sex because I didn't have any urge to. Fast forward we broke up and I fell into that same habit. I would talk to a guy for a couple months then out of nowhere I would get bored and annoyed with them. Sometimes that annoyance would border disgust and they didn't necessarily do anything to me. I've recently really started thinking hard why I'm this way and I think it's because I'm not that into men as I think I am. My friend jokes that the men I think are cute look like their moms that why I 'm into them. And you know what she's right! lol I feel like all my life because of my upbringing I've been kind of scared to acknowledge that side of me. I would admit its there but to face it would be life changing. To be blunt my family is homophobic. The only one who is slightly tolerant is my mom but she still has her moments of ignorance.
All that being said I want to start dating women and confirm with myself something I already know. I've tried men and it was meh. I feel like an awkward virgin again. Like is there a lesbian version of grindr? Experienced Bi and lesbian people HELP how did you guys come to terms with your sexuality. Has anyone had the same experience as me? Where do I go to make bi and lesbian friends? Sorry for the long paragraph lol

submitted by Niquexxx to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 05:24 flute89 I (20M) just got kicked out

TL;DR: I lied about going back to my hateful university I went to. The first argument I had with my mom was a bit heated where she told me that I was confused and mentally unstable. I involved my bio dad, my mom overheard that and kicked me out. Now I’m at my bio dad’s house safe and sound, for now.
I tried lying to my mom and stepdad about registering for classes but they kept pressing me until I eventually cracked and told them the truth. They were shocked and my stepdad was pissed at me. My mom tried asking me why I hated going to the super religious and anti-LGBTQ+ university I was at. My stepdad said he was done paying for my car and technology that I have just ran away with so I will see what happens there.
Anyways I came out to my mom for the 3rd time now and she still thinks I was confused so I told her about me hooking up with two men to convince her but that devolved into her talking religion with me. I told her that I was no longer Catholic but consider myself agnostic now. She asked me if I was okay with going to hell and I said I didn’t care and that got her emotional and told me that she thinks I need to be physiologically tested to see if I’m insane. I don’t think I need any because this is the most mentally healthy I’ve been in years. She told me that’s what the devil is telling me and I held in my laughter. That’s when my stepdad told us to stop bringing God into this and talk through the unacceptable lying I was doing.
I decided to involve my bio dad and as I was on the phone with him he told me that he wasn’t as bad as a guy my mom made him out to be and I agreed that my mom did make SOME things up. My mom overheard that (somehow) and she told me to gtfo as I was on the phone with my oldest brother. I packed up as quickly as I could after my mom made a comment about me going to hell with my dad that I didn’t appreciate which made me want to leave faster. I went to my job and told them I wasn’t coming back and now I’m at my bio dad’s house safe and sound for now.
submitted by flute89 to lgbt [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 04:20 lumalite F21 Feeling guilty about running away eventually (plus a long rant). TW: Sexual Assault

This is gonna be a long one but it’s been a long time coming. I feel like I was never really Muslim. As soon as I was able to understand things as a child my heart wasn’t in it. Even though I considered myself a Muslim because that’s just what I was told and was never made to believe there was a choice, I didn’t feel a connection to the religion. I didn’t feel any connection to Allah when praying or making dua. My mom used to take me to these Friday Islam classes for children at a local mosque and I will say I found those interesting because the stories sounded like mythology to me and it was comparable to the Percy Jackson novels I loved reading. But I never really felt like Allah was there for me or anyone for that matter the way my mom always claimed he was.
I will say I am incredibly privileged as I was born and raised in Canada and I am still here, so my life is not as difficult as some of you who are stuck in countries that barely leave you any breathing room with all the religious bullshit being shoved down your throat. Also my parents are divorced and I live with my dad who is much more chill and laid back than most Muslim dads for the most part, but it’s really only because he doesn’t care for anyone but himself much. The thing is, he has these expectations for his children (I have two older brothers) to be good Muslim, Pakistani children that will make him proud, but he has done nothing to make us proud of being his children. Our parents did not have a happy marriage at any point. He forced my mom to work from the beginning even though she made it clear that she wanted to stay at home and raise her children (he made more than enough money to take full financial responsibility of the household) and basically took control of all her money. His parents and sisters treated my mom like shit and he never stood up for her. But she took it all, because she thought staying together would be better for the children as many Muslim women stuck in unhappy marriages do. The tipping point for her and what led everything to finally come crashing down was her finding out that she has not only been cheating on her with a family friend that had been around the family for years, but also with prostitutes. What’s worse is that my older brother who was probably around 13 or 14 at the time is the one who found out about the prostitutes first. So yeah they got divorced and he of course got remarried to someone in pakistan within months of the divorce being finalized. He didn’t even tell us about that though. Again my older brother found out because he was using our dad’s laptop for something and found pictures of his wedding.
Eventually both of my brothers moved in with him because they were teenagers and wanted the freedom that comes with living with a pretty much absent father. That being said, my mom still bought them groceries and snacks because my stepmom never made enough food for them. I would go there every Friday and I would come home crying almost every week because my stepmom treated me like garbage. She used to say horrible things about be (a literal child around 6-10 years old) and about my mom. My dad never stood up for me.
So that’s my dad so far but now I’ll get started on my mom. Years later my mom got remarried while her and I were visiting Pakistan for my uncle’s (her brother) wedding when I was 9 or 10. One night while we were there, after putting me to bed she was talking to a friend and thought I was sleeping. She casually mentioned her wedding in conversation. The next morning I asked her about it and she flat out denied that she said anything like that. I went to my aunt’s driver because he was driving my mom and I around all the time while we were there so I figured he’d know the truth. I asked him about it and he told me the truth. I was very close with him, I remembered him from the last time I visited and he was always nice to me so I trusted him. I didn’t say anything to her about it though and figured I’d let her tell me when she wanted to. So we get back home to Canada and she drops the bomb that not only is she married, her and I are moving to Pakistan while she waits for her husband’s immigration to go through.
I lived there with her for about a year. The cultural shock was terrible. I wasn’t allowed to wear t-shirts in the summer because it was too “promiscuous”. There was a lot more but the worst was that I was being sexually assaulted by one of my step-cousins (he was 18 at the time). It was so twisted and I was so sheltered from any of that stuff that I had no idea what was going on at the time. I knew it felt very wrong, but the twisted part is that he was there for me when my stepdad would come home drunk and would yell and beat my mom. So instead of spending less time with him I continued to hang out with him so I wouldn’t be completely alone. When I finally told my mom about it, instead of being there for me and getting me the support I needed, she basically called me a whore and told me that I was ruining her life with her new family and asked if I was pregnant (again I didn’t even know how any of that worked so I didn’t know if I could be). After that she became incredibly abusive physically, she was always like that but now she would just take her anger out on me all the time. This continued to happen for a while, but then my stepdad started kicking us out of the house in the middle of the night every now and then.
I didn’t have anywhere to go, but I was a suicidal 10 year old at this point so I sent my dad an email begging him to let me come home and live with him. So he bought me a ticket. Then my mom started to say that I was abandoning her. This is something that she still says to me. That I just left her alone when the truth is I made an incredibly difficult decision for myself that I never should’ve had to make. Tbh though after years of holding it against her, I don’t really blame her anymore or at least I’ve forgiven her. She was going through an incredibly difficult time herself and she thought she was protecting me by keeping me with her.
Years later I still live with my dad. A lot has happened her the years but I could honestly write a book that no one would want to read about it all. It’s not easy. My stepmom makes it incredibly difficult to live here peacefully. My mom lives 10 minutes away now (without her husband because surprise surprise his goal was to get her to move to Pakistan and he had no intention of moving to Canada). She is much more strict and religious than my dad, but I can be more open with her. I have told her I don’t believe in islam, but she completely disregards that as a “phase”. I used to argue with her but I’ve realized there’s no point in arguing logic with someone so far deep in Islam. She’s had a difficult life and if believing in Allah makes it a little easier for her then I won’t stand in the way of that. But she pushes it on me, and it feels like I’m being suffocated sometimes.
My dad does the same. Despite being terrible Muslim he tries to get me to be a good one. I’ve asked him what he would do if I was to marry a non-Muslim and he said I wouldn’t be his daughter from that day on.
I have a bf that I love more than anyone in the world. We have been together for almost 2 years, and he is the love of my life, but he lives in Buffalo, USA. We only live and hour and a half away from each other so we see each other quite often (every other week). He has his own place so I often go to his place for the weekend, or he will come here and spend the day with me. Having to leave him is like waking up from a dream every single time. I hate it. We want to get married. The main reason obviously is that we both love each other and have no doubt that we want to spend the rest of our lives with each other. However, getting married is also the most efficient way for us to live together (I would move to the US because he has a stable and successful career and I just finished school and am looking for jobs in my field that doesn’t exactly bring home the big bucks). We don’t want to get married just so we can live together so we aren’t rushing, but it will likely happen within a year. Before anyone says I should move out and be independent first, tbh I don’t think that’s the best path for me. While living here I can save up which will be better for me long term. I would have to get a roommate that I don’t know and spend most of my income on rent if I can even find a place I can afford. The field I’m in is not very well paying and the rent where I am is crazy. So we’ve thought about it a lot and have decided it would be best for me to move with him.
Now what worries me is that I would have to hide the fact that I am married for around a year while I wait for the visa to go through. Which isn’t a huge deal because I’m the only one that has access to all my documents and stuff (though I worry about car insurance because my dad is the primary for my car because it was cheaper that way and I’m not sure if I would have to update marital status or if they even need that info since I’m a secondary driver if I don’t live with my spouse). But for the most part, hiding it is not what worries me, it’s the inevitable running way that worries me. Despite everything, I feel so guilty doing that, especially to my mom. Running away is really the only option I have to safely leave so please don’t suggest talking to my parents about it. I know this is something I don’t have to worry about for a while but I am an over thinker. We’ve looked at rings and I know that it probably won’t be more than 6 months before he proposes. I just don’t understand why I feel so guilty and anxious about this when I know I am adult who is making a decision for her own happiness and well-being. But I think about my mom and how alone she would be without me and i honestly worry that she would do something to harm herself. I also hate that she would have to deal with telling her family and the community, but if she at any point made me feel like I could be open and talk about this kind of stuff with her I would. I do care about her, but I don’t see any other way to leave safely.
Thank you for reading if you’ve come this far. I’m just hoping I can find some people that can relate to my experiences. None of my friends can relate to this part of my life because they are all from non-religious families.
submitted by lumalite to exmuslim [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 03:54 NeptuneStratus 32 [M4F] WA / USA - Special Offer: Claim your DMD (dink, monogamous, dork) while supplies last!

Are you tired of being mislead? New content in your game behind micro-transactions? A movie on a service you already pay for costs extra? Your cheetos not cheesy enough? You're in luck today: introducing something that is what it says it is: me. Dumb ice breaker complete, my friend met her long-term boyfriend here and suggested I try. I'm also looking for something long-term. First, I will list some basic deal breakers just to save everyone some time.
Deal breakers
Since most dating websites have limited to no text, I'll use the opportunity to express some things that are normally cut down, but still try to be concise.
Basics
Needs someone who:
Wants (nice-to-haves) someone who:
That was a lot but it was nice to write out and if you're here, I think you know if you want to reach out. Talk to you later or good luck on your search.
submitted by NeptuneStratus to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2024.05.18 03:50 HelloHippo425 AITAH for not donating to a LGBTQ charity?

I recently had a conflict with a coworker that I am not feeling great about and I am wondering if I handled this poorly.
I am going to start this by being upfront about my religious views, because they are relevant. I am a Christian and I am very serious about my dedication to Christ’s teachings. I do not belong to any major sect of Christianity because I do not believe in the weaponization of the Bible. I am of the belief that just because I may consider something a sin, I have no right to enforce that belief on others. For instance, I have many coworkers who I am sure are having sex outside of marriage. I personally would not do so, but I feel no need to ever mention to them my feelings on the matter because, quite frankly, why would they care. That being said, yes, I believe homosexuality is a sin and I do not support gender reassignment. Again, I do not care what others do with their life and I would never treat someone differently based on those things.
I have a coworker who I will call Lucy. She is a transgender woman and I have been working with her for 6 years, since before she transitioned. From the first time she came out at work, I have never misgendered her or called her by her dead name. That is not just because she is my coworker and we are in close quarters, I respect anyone’s preferred pronouns if I know them.
On the flip side, it is very apparent I am religious (I think). I read my Bible at my desk daily during lunch and I do not work Sunday mornings because I have church (our work has a very flexible schedule, this isn’t an issue. I am not making someone else work because I don’t work those mornings. We are salaried positions.) I do not talk about my religion at work.
Two years ago, soon after Lucy came out to us as trans, there was a conflict with another coworker. Let’s call her Anne. Anne is insufferable at all times, but this moment has always stood out because it was more than a passing snide comment. Anne was taking donations for an Easter event at her church because her kids were participating in it. I did not donate because, as I said, I don’t support the hypocrisy of the church she belongs to. She said nothing to me about it but okay.
When she asked Lucy, Lucy told her something along the lines of “no thank you, I would not donate to a church.” Anne caused an embarrassing scene saying, among other things, “I shouldn’t have even asked, I should have known one of you people wouldn’t be interested.” This was in earshot of a lot of us. One coworker jumped in immediately to say that was dehumanizing language and it was not okay. We all made it clear that no one has to donate to anything they don’t want to and if she is going to react that way to differing beliefs, she is not welcome to ask for donations to things in the future.
Last week Lucy was raising money for the Trevor Project in conjunction with a TikTok event she is a part of. When she asked me, I told her simply “no thank you.” I could not believe how she responded. She did not cause a scene. She told me “I never had you pegged for a hurtful bigot.” And she walked away. I was stunned and did know how to respond to that.
After some thought, I decided they maybe there was a better way to have responded that would not have hurt her feelings. Heck, maybe I should have just said I didn’t have the money or something that would have glossed over it, but I didn’t this was necessary as we’ve always had a respectful relationship.
After work, I caught her at her desk to try to talk, but she cut me off saying “it’s fine.” It was obviously not fine to her, but I didn’t want to force her to talk.
The first day this week that I saw her was Wednesday when our time in the office aligned and she acted normal toward me, but a coworker she is closer to told me I am a major AH.
If you are judging me the AH for not donating, please save it, but I am wondering if there was a more tactful way to have handled it in the moment or afterward and if that makes me the AH. I want to be a contributor to a workplace where everyone feels comfortable.
submitted by HelloHippo425 to AITAH [link] [comments]


http://rodzice.org/