My whole body feels numb

I grew up in a very abusive household physically , sexually and mentally the physical and sexual was from my father and the mental was my mother my mother enabled my father my whole life so recently I moved in with my grandmother ( who is my mother’s mom) I adore my grandmother my mother was and is very jealous of my relationship with my grandmother so I didn’t tell my mother I moved in with my grandma and recently my mom sent me a message “ hey just want to let you know I find it very shitty to find out my daughter lives in ——— from someone else” and she blocked me on facebook but no where else And idk why her blocking me made me have these emotions I’ve never experienced before and it’s hard to deal with them. Mind you my mother “ never “ cursed and she made it a big deal when I blocked her on facebook last year. Idk I feel she trying to play some mind game with me she hasn’t called or texted her mother. I believe she is afraid to because she doesn’t know what I’ve told her mother about what she allowed to happen in that household. Idk I needed to vent.

As an ugly-looking girl, I tend to get overly attached to anyone who shows me a little attention. I remember this one guy in high school I crushed on so hard, it was embarrassing how much I talked about him to my friends. I started liking him the moment I saw him, and to this day, I still don’t know why. It was the first time I had such strong feelings for someone.
This goes back to late 2019/2020, about a guy I shared some classes with. At the beginning of the school year, we exchanged a few glances, but I didn’t think much of it because people just look at each other. I never intended to make a move because, knowing how I look, it seemed impossible. But as time passed, my feelings grew stronger, and I couldn't hold it in anymore. Before we went on break, I hit the request button on his Instagram, and he quickly accepted and followed me back. I thought it might be a sign he was interested, but I quickly snapped back to reality and didn’t think much of it. We never talked until lockdown happened, and we all went online. I once posted an Instagram story about one of my interests, and he surprisingly replied. I was so excited. We started replying to each other’s stories, especially after he began posting about the same interests, which made it easy to continue without seeming like an obsessed freak. This went on for about 2-3 months until we had to go back to school.
The first time I saw him again, my heart raced. We exchanged glances but didn’t really talk. We only had small conversations during PE when he would ask me something, and I remember stuttering so badly. After that, not much happened just a few gestures, but my friends noticed him staring at me a lot and I thought she was just joking till my other friend noticed it as well. Never really thought much of it because you know people just stare sometimes. We continued replying to each other’s stories once in a while, but his replies became slower, and he stopped posting as much. That’s when I realized he wasn’t really interested and we were just talking for the sake of it and probably out of his boredom. I felt terrible about the whole situation, even though my crush on him kept growing.
After graduation, I didn’t see him until last year at the train station during exam season. I was shocked when I encountered him. He looked at me up and down and quickly got on the train, seeming uneasy. I think he tried avoiding me, but I can’t really complain because I did the same. I sat like three wagons away because I was too nervous lol. A few months before this, I remember I accidentally screenshotted his Snapchat profile because my phone was glitching, and he noticed. He texted me if I did, It was such an awkward interaction, but I wished him a happy birthday at the end of the convo. After a few hours, he sent me snap but I didn’t reply because I wasn’t sure if it was meant for me.
Right now here I am here, almost two years later, and I still like him. Just a little bit of attention has left me with this endless crush, knowing I’ll never be with him and knowing he never liked me. Sometimes I wonder how different things could have been if I were prettier. He probably wouldn’t have felt embarrassed talking to me lol and would’ve probably tried something. Idk why I still cling into him, just imagining him being with someone else hurts while he just goes on with his life not caring about any of this. He probably forgot about my whole existence lol.

Didn't think I would be on reddit but looking for i guess public random help? If I ATA then I will accept it.
I am having issues with my girlfriend and was hoping within the next 10 days to pop the question, and as shitty as it is, she is bringing up and point of view in our relationship I do not agree with in any capacity.
We have known eachother 9 years, Started dating almost 3 years ago. I had strong reservations about this relationship even beginning because I had gotten out of something bad a year prior and she had gotten out fo a 5 year relationship before getting with me.
This is a rare and only time where the girl was asking me out and I was saying no. I had started to learn about boundaries and mental health and it felt like at that moment I could not handle any form of a relationship. She forgets to tell anyone in this story how the longest she has been in single is 6 months and basically hopped from relationship to relationship.
I had told her she needs to spend a year or more figuring out what she wants in life for herself and who she is outside of a relationship because it sounded like a person with no path or direction.
I will admit I was weak and definitely like her, come to find out we liked eachother when we first met it was just bad timing. The only reason I asked her out is because all my friends said we looked and seemed perfect together and they hadn't seen me that happy in a long time.
So far we have had it good, and of coure some fights, but if I am being fair her last few relationships have been very abusive and non loving and the abuse goes all the way back to her family as well. So after my many failings I learned how to, not lash out or scream or make instant judgements or start a argument with texts, I have learned a lot from my own short comings and it feels she is where I was years ago. When we fight 80% of her arguments come from a topic that isn't even the issue and that fights feel like , I made her hurt or upset so she is gonna hurt me the same if not worse...
An issue I was warned about when I started dating, was after I inherited some money. I had been told by most of my family that dating financially below me could be tough because they might always see the comparison. And in a couple relationships it has been thrown in my face. Its not great, but it was given to me and I know that isn't fair. I would say I spend most of my money on my friends or significant other well being, not to buy them, but gift giving is a strong love language and I guess I always felt guilty I did nothing to have this money.
The recent conversation has been about her making more money versus me. I stopped working about 6 years ago to try and get into home investments and real estate stuff, I got tired of not being promoted when I showed up early, stayed late kind of crap then being asked to do 100 tasks not in my job description, but the actual on paper description of the person who got promoted over me and was not doing. I don't mind working hard or even for free, but if on paper I meet qualifications and the person promoted doesn't, then I have a problem.
This is her first consistent job that pays okay and has benefits. She job hops year after year and when looking for jobs they want some form of loyalty more than 1 year and she keeps wanting to go back to a bar job downtown that when she first had it was making bank, like 1800.00 every weekend only two days of work, but then when every bar opened up downtown post covid her weekend pay was now like 1200, then 1000, then 900. Not to mention tons of shootings and scary phone calls I would get at 3 AM. So we made a deal if for the next three months the paycheck wouldn't increase beyond 1000 she would quit and not go back... So I have supported her through multiple jobs and quittings and her trying to start her own baking business that she tanked because anytime I set a price for her baked goods, she would give a massive discount and not breakeven... I have even done 24hr straight baking sessions to get massive orders to clients in which killed our oven that I had to fix. I just wish she'd stay somehwere for a while and build a resume that works. I know our whole country is fucked financially and the average survival salary of our state is 100k,.. I already cover everything and pay for everything else...
I have been doing the real estate investing on mostly my own, and obviously it is not going well, trying to be ethical and moral and in the housing market seems like an oxymoron. I still have more money than she brings in and I am working on my real estate license, but I bought the house, take care of her, our dogs, mow the lawn, help out with her family of 9, fix our appliances, take care of her indoor plants, gave her a garden for outside that I also maintain, cook dinner or buy dates most of the time, pay for trips, her dogs surgeries etc, She is saying I need to make even more money so she can take it easy and stop working as much... But she has complained multiple times about wanting to help out around the house mroe and with payments... Idk how she can help if she is gonna take an inconsistent paycheck, and have no benefits of any kind and drive farther...
Am I slacking as her man and better half or is she not stepping up to the plate and doing her share?

okay i know this sounds really embarrassing but i’ve tried looking, pulling back my hood and i still cant seem to see it. i don’t know if i need to be aroused for my clit to come out. it makes me feel weird in a way? i feel like everyone else can see theirs perfectly fine, but i cant. is there any suggestions as to what i could be doing to see it? i’ve also tried talking to my mom abt it bcuz i want to know my own body before anyone else does and she didn’t really help much. she also told me that hers comes out during arousal so it could be genetic? i’m not really sure, please help!! also please no judgement

Long story short, I (34M; see flair for stats) helped my mother with some landscape work today, and had 3 pretty noticeable improvements make themselves apparent to me throughout the day.
First off, when getting ready to head over to my grandpa's house to do the aforementioned yard work, I realized that none of my shorts fit anymore, save for one very old pair. That alone felt pretty good, but I was even more surprised when my belt just hanged loosely around my waist when I buckled it through the shortest hole. After a little clumsy work with a craft knife, I had a newly cut hole, and inch shorter than the last.
Next up, an hour or two into pulling weeds in flower beds, I realized just how much more 'in shape' I am compared to how I was 50lbs heavier. I really only just walk/jog 2 miles on the treadmill most nights, and I'm FAR from actually being in shape, but still... The difference was like night and day. Three hours in, I was still going fine. I was sweating a bit, but not nearly as much as I would've.
Lastly, the heat. We were in the sun for most of the day - I have the sunburn to prove it - and yet I didn't feel all that warm. Maybe that's partly due to lower calorie intake and body temperature, but also having less layers of fat to insulate my body. It actually felt good to be outside, in the sun, moving muscles that haven't seen much use in years. If I had a steady supply of water and some sunscreen, I could've stayed out there all day. When I was 316lbs, I'd sweat through my shirt just from being in the sun.
I had a good talk with my mom, too. It felt good to be helping her, as a son should do. The old me would've made an excuse as to why I couldn't, and then sat on his ass doing nothing. But not the new me! I'm done with that shit.
And it feels pretty good.

Background: I never once thought I’d go down the accounting career path. It just kinda landed on my lap. I was working at a hotel 10 yrs ago while going to school for Business Admin(CC). I was working as a night auditor & was promoted to an accounting manager but I never really managed anyone. I did AP/AHR. After 2 years, I had to relocate. Since I was young & never thought or had the confidence to apply for another accounting manager job, I applied for Night Audit again and went on to become an A/R. I did A/R for 2 years & switched job because I wanted something more. I am currently working as an accounting III (59k). It started fine, i was doing more A/P, some AR, tax filling, etc. 5 years in, they made me manage the whole AR system & I feel like I’m just chasing people for payment over & over. I’ve totally forgotten everything I’ve learned about accounting. We don’t even do month-end or year-end!! I’m so bored at work & my brain is just slowly dying, literally. I want to explore more and I’m planning on getting my Bachelor’s starting this fall. I’m just so scared because 1) I feel I’m too old & I feel like i’m starting from the bottom again & 2) I might regret this “I need a new adventure in my life” phase because my current job is sooooo easy & I could probably use the free time for school.
I’m at a point where I think maybe accounting is not meant for me. I’m just so confused right now. I’m 34, no mortgage, paid off car, & no kids so maybe I’m just trying to look for the meaning of my life aka quarter life crisis.
Anyway, did anyone here start their accounting career late? Or did anyone leave accounting & switched to a different path?
Thanks for reading.

I’m fucking insane. I’m fucking done but I’m not done. I’m ugh. I’m so fucking tired. I’m tired of this. I’m tired of hurting. Or not feeling anything. I’m tired of wanting him. I’m so fucking done.
I want him back but I don’t. Idk what I want. I feel nothing.
I feel like shit after talkng in a group chat with some women in my area. I feel like shit. I was a child. I was confusing. Im 20 and they told me I was a child. Augh. I feel like shit. I know they mean well but it hurts. I fucking hate myself. I hate myself for wanting men. I hate myself for wanting bumble bro. I want him back but I don’t. I’m dying. I’m so fucking done.
I wanna fucking kill myself so that no one ever has to see or hear me talk about him. I hate myself. I hate myself so much. I wanna be dead so people never have to hear about him again. I wanna be dead so I can stop wanting him when I’m about to start to my period.
Idk what I feel or want. Idk. I feel nothing. I’m so fucking numb. I don’t even want to die. But like I want to be gone. I want to disappear.
Augh I fucking hate that I want him. I want to stop wanting him and it keeps coming back to me. I want it to stop. I want it to end. I’m so fucking done. I’m so fucking tired of this.
I fucking hate myself I can’t even feel anything. I want to die so that no one has to ever hear about him. I feel like shit after talking to all those women. I’m so fucking done. I know they care. But I fucking jaye it. I hate life. I just want someone. I want a friend. I want a boyfriend I want intimacy. I want feelings. I should have enevwr trusted thay Facebook website. It felt like everyone was upset at me and I know I was shitty but I didn’t even realize I was being shitty.
I’m so fucking done. I wanna be dead. Think. He’ll never have to hear about me again. Along with discord boy. Along with 8th grade boy. Along with everyone whoever hates me or dislikes me. I don’t want to do anything this summer. I just want to recover from one of the worst years ever. But I can’t. My parents will get pissed if I don’t get a job. I just want to stop existing. I need a break from social media I think. From Facebook at least cause those girls kinda made me feel shitty. Not because they’re mean. Not cause they had had it ent. It’s just cause I’m a fucking mess and no one should have to deal with me. I left once cause I kept talking about bumble bro. Augh. WHY DID I UAHE TO BE SO STUPID. WHY DID I JAVW TO WANT HIM. WHY CANT I NUST GET OVER HIM. STOP RHINKING ABOUT HIM. IM SO FUCKING DONE WITH IT. I JATE MYSELF. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT MYSELD. WHY AM I SO UNLOVABLE. WHY AM I SO EASY TO USE AND ABUSE. why did I have to be so stupid.
I can’t even think. I can’t think of anything. It hurts so much I’m numb. I need help. I want to give up but I can’t. I can’t give up. I want to give up. I wanna kill myself so everyone knows how fucning fone I am and how they’ll never hav to deal with me again. They have to be tired of me. They have to hate me. I hate myself.
I want him back or something. Idk angmore. I just want to be dead. I want to not exist. I want to stop thinking about him. I want to be done. And done. So no one has to deal with me. Ans I hope that none of these girls see this cause I don’t want them to feel bad. They’re real. They’re honest. I’m senstive. God I need help. I wish it were over. I wish I were dead. I can’t feel anything. I need help. I just want to feel something. I feel horrible. But I feel. Nothing at all. I’m so fucking stupid and sad. I want to be dead.

I have considered myself a nudist for about 2 years now. I had a huge body positivity / body acceptance phase that lead to me telling (asking politely) my roommates that id begin being naked at home. I then took a stop at Blacks Beach to walk naked for 30 minutes, and was hooked! My girlfriend has been extremely supportive and im going to try to take her to Glen Eden to see if shed join me :)
Since that first Blacks Beach visit ive continued being naked primarily at home, but I want to meet others to talk to and go to clothing optional locations! I would even appreciate meeting for coffee or something in order to talk beforehand if that helps warm anyone up.
I really enjoy the feeling of freedom that being nude provides. That it should be desexualized and allow people to just be. I think the human body is beautiful and all our bodies tell stories. Looking to make friends to talk and discuss with :) eventually going to clothing optional beaches/resorts if comfortable
Thank you!

Its was 2:26 one night.For some reason i couldnt find myself tired or able to fall asleep. It was the weekend anyways so it really wasnt a big deal.! didnt really have plans tommorow except going shopping with my friends.i mainly just stayed up watching tik tok but since my parents room was right next to mines and everyones was asleep i had my light off door closed and i was just on my phone.Everything around me was pitch black.As im scrolling i hear my mom talking downstairs.l think nothing of it.But then i realized.Everyones asleep?That cant be her?! I brush it off cause im tired anyways so my minds just playing tricks on me.l began falling asleep and right before i fell into a deep sleep i hear my mom screaming for help downstairs in the kitchen.i rush downstairs through my dark house, but realize, once again.My moms asleep.every light is off.Including the kitchen light. there i stood in the middle of the kitchen, alone, in the dark. As i was about to walk back upstairs i feel something, someone, staring. At this point im scared and creeped out. trying not to look behind me but i just keep getting even more nervous and creeped out when i got up the stairs i turned the hallway light on from the top and nobody is behind me, but all the way down the hallway, where the balcony door is,i seen a tall, black figure with a hat.i just stared. After being in shock for so long the figure began knocking on the glass door. I just stared.It seemed like the longer i stared the louder the knocking became. After staring for what felt like 15 minutes i snapped out of the fear and ran to my parents room to tell them.Only to find out, when i entered the room, a stuffed animal and a note reading, “Hey sweetie,me and your father didnt want to wake you so late but we took a shift to help out at the hospital tonight, we need the extra money for some of the bills. We should be back no later than 10:30 am tommorow morning,i left the key underneath the plant outside the front door for when you leave tommorow morning with your friends. Sorry for the short notice love.We love you, stay safe, call us if you need anything." They were gone.What was i supposed to do?i dropped the note on the floor and cried, when all of the sudden i hear the front door creak open.Whatever,and whoever it was, was inside my house.The footsteps climbed up the stairs as i ran to my older sisters room (who had been in collage for a bit so she wasnt home) and locked the door and hid in the closet.i heard the footsteps reach the top step and stop. I listened out for the footsteps but heard nothing else for the next 20 minutes. felt a little better and calmed down at that moment.I needed to get a hold of my mom but I didnt have my phone and was too scared to get up and get it from my room.Then i heard the footsteps reach the room i was in.Whoever it was tried to open the door but as soon as they realized it was locked.They began banging, kicking,scratching,and screaming.The screams sounded like a mans scream.I cried silently in the closet until it stopped.The voice suddenly said."josie.i know your in there.Come out. im not here to hurt you." and it followed with a deep, stomach twisting laugh.But that wasnt what was important.It was that they knew my name. An hour or so had passed by but the figure was still outside the door making no noises.then i heard my mothers and fathers couces call my name but i knew it wasnt them. Eventually the figure left when sunrise came.l ended up falling asleep in the closet.When i woke up i checked the whole house.Nothing.i called my mom and her and my father rushed home.I told her everything that happned.My mother called the cops and told them everything as well.We were watching the news later on that day,and we seen news about a local skinwalker breaking into houses.Suddenly a call from the police station.They explained to my mom they had caught the guy. He had been stalking me for years making plans to murder me and keep me “all to himself” after that my parents a left me at home alone nor did I look at that glass window again, thinking he will appear and wined up keeping me for himself… successfully this time.

I’ve been on Weight Watchers for just over a month now and have significantly changed my food choices. The amount of sugar, junk food, and processed foods has dropped significantly and I’m now eating a lot of lean protein, way more fruits and vegetables, and cooking all my meals. The first 2 weeks, I think was some sort of withdrawal, as I was light-headed for most of it and very tired. It’s so weird now how that has changed. It feels like I can have the energy to make it through my day but eating less food than I was before (although much more nutritious food). My body used to completely crash after work and now it just doesn’t, so I’m very glad to be feeling better.
So far, using my weekly points, I have been allowing myself one dessert per week (usually something very sweet, like a piece of cake or dq blizzard). If my body was basically addicted to sugar before, is it risky for me to have one big sugary item per week? Is my body trying to change but that weekly sugar is preventing it? Like will this big sugary item mess with my pancreas or insulin levels? I don’t want to go back to feeling the way I did before and don’t know if I should just try to use those points on something salty instead. Does anyone know how bodies work and if I should try to avoid sugar altogether?

Now it’s just me, my brother, my dog, her cat, and her chickens, in this paid for house with their paid for vehicles and mine and my brothers vehicles.
It’s makes me most angry, how my mom just didn’t get a fair shake. She loved dad, don’t get me wrong, but he was thrifty to the point of being a killjoy and the only joy he had in life was paying bills and counting the money that was left. When he died, the household bills were slashed by over half, and her monthly income almost tripled, as she was going to get his benefits and pension.
Her sister screwed her out of inheritance 3 years ago, and we’ve been flighting for her end in probate that long. When dad died, it made that issue seem a little less stress worthy, and we started focusing on what all she could do with her new monthly income.
She wanted to go to Florida, and take my dog to see the ocean. She wanted to go to pigeon forge and gatlinburg while her sister who stole all the money is traveling around with her rich pro baseball pitcher-turned-coach-wife cousin, who’s also my moms cousin but wouldn’t have shit to do with her.
Instead, 24 days after my dad died, her leg stint that was installed last October failed, and she went to the emergency room on the advice of the Dr who did the surgery, and they admitted her, and they operated the next day.
Couldnt fix the stint or get the clot out with the robot, so they did it manually, but still couldn’t fix the stint. So they did a bypass from left right leg to left leg. Then they said that wasn’t doing what they’d hoped, so they were considering amputating her leg.
Then she started swelling and bleeding. They put tubes everywhere to pull fluid off of her stomach. She howled about her stomach hurting. They thought she was constipated. I informed them that happened last year when she had the stint and was hospitalized for it. Then she had a bowl movement that had blood in it. Then they went to operate to see what was making her stomach hurt and gave a bloody stool. Well her colon basically fell apart, they said, so now they were gonna remove it and leave her with a stoma. Then she laid there a few days, and her vitals went weak, and they took her back again to cut her open to see what’s going on, and he small intestine died as well.
The doctors and nurses all along told me she was better than she looked and all her numbers were going the right way. But her little body just couldn’t take all that punishment.
I watched my mom walk out to her car and get in, relatively healthy, but going to the er to get checked out, and was admitted and stayed exactly 21 days, no food, no water, and taking life saving drugs that apparently kill your guts by cutting off blood to them. Those 3 weeks had to be hell and I feel guilty. I feel guilty I didn’t take her earlier to see her dr.
And I’m mad. I’m mad that she didn’t get to have some bit of enjoyment in life after dad died, with some new disposable income. She got one SSI payment of his, and one pension payment while she was in the hospital, and my brother and I are living off that at the moment.
Life just ain’t fucking fair or just at all.

I bought it mainly for my business. I fabricate sportswear so I usually do a photo of the whole body and then a close up of the piece of sportswear. I have been using the kit lenses that comes with it so far. Any tips are welcome! Thank you in advance.

My (36M) FIL comes to stay with my partner (35F) and I every year for about 2-3 weeks, and this year I have asked for the trip to be shorter, after this years visit I’m at the point where I am over the whole thing.
Our families live half way across the country but my folks understand that it would be too tight to stay in our space so they stay somewhere else when they come. We go back to where we are from a few times a year so it’s not that we don’t see our families.
It’s a small apartment and I feel like it does not seat 3 people comfortably. Especially when the living room has an air mattress taking up 2/3 of the space.
I love the guy but I’ve always known he’s a little out of touch with social interactions and loves to make himself personally comfortable in any space he’s in. We live in a beautiful city but he seems to have little interest in checking things out and will relay on us to tour him around. Sure we get a few free sit down meals that I am thankful for so I guess this is life with the in-laws.
I feel like it can be manageable as I work longer hours and am not home the majority of the time but it feels like more social work when I get home. My partner is a people pleaser and I feel she has a tough time asking for the trips to be shorter.
I don’t feel like it is my place to put the boundaries around this but I feel like she doesn’t have courage to confront this situation.
AITA?

I have a Canon body (EOS 70D), and I’m looking for a macro-type lens. I currently have an 18-135mm, but I don’t feel like it gets as close as I want? It might be user error, I haven’t used my camera in a little bit. I was looking at a RF 100mm lens, but I can’t find out if it zooms in? I really like zooming in, so I can get a close up of animals without having to get within 5 inches of it, so I need help finding a lens.

Me (20MtF) and my boyfriend (25FtM) believe that I am emotionally unavailable. How can I be more mentally present and make him feel like a priority in my life?
My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year, and are getting ready to move into an apartment together next month. I have somewhat severe ADHD, and I believe it is partially to blame for my inability to make him genuinely happy despite us both being in love with each other. When I make new friends, I often fixate on talking to them and spending time with them excessively, and this has at times taken away from time him and I can spend together. This started at the beginning of our relationship and has led to me stopping any attempts to meet new people until we get this sorted out, because we don't get much time together and I wanted to stop cutting into our time together with a random person who I don't actually care about. However, I still do things with my roommates some nights, but it usually turns out that that particular night was the night he wanted to spend with me, but I didn't ask if that's what he wanted to do, so he's just upset and says that I don't care about spending time with him and don't take our relationship seriously.
He works full time at a retail position and I have significantly more free time as a (now just graduated) college student. So I try to prioritize his days off to see him, but I tend to forget to ask about specifics, leading to misunderstandings. I told him last night (Friday) that I was going to head home to my house that night so I could continue packing for when we move, which should have been fine because he worked at 9 this morning (Saturday) anyways. Then tomorrow (Sunday), he has the whole day off so I can come over tonight and spend the night and all of tomorrow with him. However I didn't check this plan with him and it turned out that was not what he wanted me to do and was upset that I went home last night, leading to him texting me that he doesn't want to see me on Sunday either because he's bothered by how little time I attempt to spend with him. I clearly know that very clear communication is needed in this relationship, but my ADHD makes it difficult to remember to do this.
When we do get time together, we have days where I am fully mentally present and these are absolutely wonderful. Neither of us have ever been as in love with someone else as we are with each other. But on other days, my ADHD flares up even when I take my medication, and I end up being mentally completely distant from him during that time. This makes him feel like he isn't good enough to get my attention and is taken extremely personally. This breaks my heart because I of course don't want him to feel this way. I love him and love spending time with him, but my ways of interacting with him differ on certain days and don't always give him what he needs to be happy in our relationship. This leads him to feel like even when we do get time together, that a large amount of it is wasted doing nothing that is productive to our relationship or strengthening our bond as partners. He says he's been closer emotionally with past partners after a month than we currently are after a year. I reassure him that I have intentions to work on these things and I genuinely do try, but things haven't been completely fixed yet and it leads to recurring arguments over the same things.
So, sorry if any of that was unclear or rambling. What I'm wondering is a couple of things: What can I do to work on my emotional availability and being mentally present in our relationship and our time together, if anything? And, considering that this will take a decent amount of time to fully fix, what can I do to reassure him in the meantime and prove to him that I'm making progress? Thanks for reading <3

I’ve struggled with body image my whole life and and even developed an Eating Disorder. I’m 16 I don’t know how much I weigh, it kills me not knowing. So after being hospitalized twice I started eating decently better but feel like my desserts are my problem. I try to make them fun and protein filled while I’m home since at school I usually take a small/mini chocolate. I recently started doing Lidia Mera’s 5 minute pilates, and 20-40 pushups (only if I feel like I won’t be able to sleep without the pushups) and 2-4 minutes (depends) of a plank at night before bed. I was thinking of adding 100 situps and take away one of the workouts. I just want someone’s opinion on if this isn’t enough and if I deserve to look the way I do.

Hello everyone I am new to this sub. First I should give a small tw/ for mentions of OCD and anxiety in this post in case it could cause distress for someone. In february, I 24f got a memorial tattoo for my grandpa. Overall it’s pretty and I’ve had many people compliment it. Even my mom (who hates most tattoos). Anyway, I’m unhappy with a few of the lines on it. They’re very small and could be fixed. But it has given me so much anxiety and OCD about my body. Has anyone else experienced this? Did laser help with this? I really need some support. Even if it’s from people who don’t know me personally. I think the emotional pain of removing something for my deceased grandfather might also send me into a mental spiral. Overall I need some advice. It’s a small all black tattoo of a locket. When it was originally done I liked it. Then approx. 2 weeks later I hated my body. Started covering everything. If anyone has gone through this please let me know. I feel so alone in this. :( I didn’t want to post a pic out of fear of causing more anxiety thank you for the understanding.

So I've been given a warning for stating an opinion I posted in another sub. I need to file an appeal to not get banned or else I'm out of the whole platform. It wasn't even harmful. It wan an opinion, and I wanted to hear what others thought.
Banning me from a whole platform because what--some people got their feelings hurt? That I said there was only a he, she? That they shouldn't even be confusing toddlers with incessant discussion about endless sexual orientation? Allowing easily influenced kids harmful medication that will ultimately harm them when they grow up? That people were lonely, and needed a community to belong in where they felt "validated?" Where's my freedom? My validation?
They can go along with all their gender-seasons, and multiple personality disorders, but keep the kids out of it. I can't even believe this is something to discuss about.
I thought we were better than this, Said Platform.

TW:Vent/Sh
My dad doesn't just beat me for no reason but I feel like when he does it's not necessary. Like he beat me for wasting trash out the trash can on accident in 8th grade. He beat me for not taking a shower early in elementary. and it's not just spankings he hits me with a leather belt in the same spot. He beat my sister for accidently buying a movie when she was in elementary. He would slap my brother. He says the only reason he doesn't slap me is because I'm a girl. But lately he says he will and I'm to big to get beat. He threatens to slap me when I try to talk or defend myself. He's fist fought my sister twice but it's because she said really messed up stuff to him. He makes me buy my own phone but buys my sister a phone even though her phone is fine. I got mine stolen after I got maced and he makes me buy it. I tracked my stolen phone but now he took it even though I paid for it. He wakes me and my siblings up and makes up clean the whole kitchen if we miss one spot on one dish. He makes me cook for him. He always yells and he calls me dumb because sometimes I don't catch on. Or because I'm forgetful. He got mad at me for choosing to go live with my mom. He got mad at me for drinking night quill when I had a cold he says I'm acting like a junkie like my mom. He yelled at me Infront of the whole class even though my teacher lied. His voice scared me. Every since I was little his voice scared me. When he calls my name I get scared then I go to him and he says something simple. He choked my dog because I corrected him when he was wrong. He smiled and apologized the next morning. He yells at me about touching my siblings things but I let them hold my stuff and they broke it but he didn't yell at them. Im not even scared of him anymore or at least I don't think I am Im just annoyed by him. But when I think about it I'm scared to tell him what want. I was scared for the past four years to tell him I wanted to live with my mom. He bought me a puppy just to make me give it away a few days later. He yells at me cause I called my sister a retard but they get to call me the b word and other stuff. Sorry if retard offense anyone at this point I'm desensitized. My dad talks bad about women. He talks badly about periods then ask e why I don't want to talk to him about it. He would get mad at me and then call me bipolar when I'm upset. He says I'm dumb and weak for self harming. He would always yell for hours then repeat it over again. He always targeted me. But I'm the one who dident want to talk bad about him. I'm the one who told my sister's not to us him for money. I'm the one that cooked for him that cleaned the house alone. I'm the one that listen to him drunk cry. I always tried to forgive him and try to see him as a better person. He abused my mom that's why she doesn't even like him. But I'm the only one that lived with him for four years and he still treats me different. He treat me and my other sister different. He cares about my half sisters more than me. They talk bad about my mom make her seem like a deadbeat but my mom takes care f us or tried by herself for years and he always helped my half sisters mom. He chooses my half sisters over me and my other sister. He called my sister many names like slut whore and stuff like that. I'm 15 by the way and my sister is 16. My half sister is 15 and my other half sister is 15. If anything happens he blame me and my sister's. Like the light cut off when we was cooking he blammed us. How the frick is that our fault. I can't remember all the stuff he did but he would say or do stuff that just makes me mad. He forced my sister and I to learn the amendments in 5th grade. I forced myself to learn but I forgot them again so that was a waist. I got blammed for everything he always believe my younger sister over me. I've seen him drunk many times he almost shot my cousin in front of me. He was drunk and tried to makey sister get in the car with him. I asked him not to drink on my birthday he got mad. But he was nice at times. He took us out to eat he bought us clothes. But that's the bare minimum. To get us clothes and give us food. But he took us to six flags which was fun. He buys us stuff like computers and other stuff. I know all this sounds ungrateful and dramatic but he makes me so angry I want to hurt him or myself I've thought about it when I was younger but I don't anymore. But is he abusive or am I just dramatic? Sorry this honestly became a rant/vent but I don't like that men.

I frinking love you Buddha, out of respect I don’t say the F word.
What he brought to us, is immeasurable. His influence is so big. His teachings and insights help so many people. He brought us so much peace and happiness. He did this for us while he just could do nothing and enjoy nirvana but no he decided after while to help the whole humanity.
I was before this very nihilistic, whit out a goal because i see no value in things. He brought me discipline goals and compassion for others
He’s an example for us all, may we be like him in the future and do the same to the humanity. I hope he can feel my feelings. ❤️❤️🙏🙏

I made it to 20 weeks and we found out we were having a girl! So excited I couldn’t stop smiling on our way out of the ultra sound clinic. That’s the good news! The bad news is we hadn’t told my mom because she was dead serious when she told me not to get pregnant again, she doesn’t want another grandkid. We’ve been keeping it a secret this whole time. My husband decided we need to tell someone in my family because nobody knew. So we started telling my side. My grandmother who is a great grandma again, was very excited. My step-grandma was also very excited. As was my aunt and cousins. However my mom reacted just how I thought and is pissed. She no longer wants to babysit the other two children on Fridays while we both work, meaning we are in a bind. Have an altered schedule for the next two weeks but after that I have no idea. I also just miss being able to text her funny pictures of our youngest trying new foods or being crazy. I’ve been crying every night. I don’t know what to do but it’s made me feel like such a failure.