Funny signatures for my cell phone

Context-Free Comic Panels

2014.07.24 19:41 Roflmoo Context-Free Comic Panels

Individual comic panels from comics that stand on their own as bizarre, funny, or interesting. Old and new panels welcome!
[link]


2020.12.29 14:25 QuackNate QuackNate's Story Corner

I'm gonna post scary stories and maybe talk about Dark Souls.
[link]


2011.12.22 19:28 Photography community ready to help.

Whether you're a seasoned professional or just starting out, this subreddit is the perfect place to ask questions, seek advice, and engage in discussions about all things photography. We're here to foster a supportive and knowledgeable community that shares a passion for capturing the world through the lens. If you're new to photography or have a burning question, don't hesitate to make a post! Our community is filled with experienced photographers who are eager to help.
[link]


2024.05.26 07:28 DistributionOk5166 CPTSD after friends overstep boundaries

When I (21M) got into a relationship with my partner (20F), it was awesome. Then she involved her friends in the relationship. She came off as very codependent to her friends, even saying her friends (20F) are never wrong (you’re gonna see some red flags here that I was stupid to ignore). Met one of her friends - wonderful guy not a bad bone in his body, hope all of them could be Ike that. She expressed (I don’t even know jokingly) that her girl friends were jealous that she got a boyfriend - yet she wanted us to be friends.
I have never met such hypocritical people in my life on first meet. They would criticize my career (I earn decent money in school), my race (they continually called me a brown boy), the fact I didn’t drink underage, they would question my validity as a partner in earshot much to my partner’s silence. They would criticize my colloquialism - I would say “shut the fuck up” when a funny story came up while laughing. They would tell my partner (not me) that they didn’t like it (happy to not say it if it makes them feel uncomfortable) but then they proceeded to tell me to shut the fuck up with impunity. The double standards sucked. The dishing out but not being able to take it sucked. I was always made to be the villain. When I brought these up to my partner - “Oh you feel that way because they have siblings, and you’re an only child”. They showed up to my apartment unannounced when I was on a date with my partner (I live on the 3rd story). After the date was over, they would make plans to go out and say “This is a friends only thing”.
I held my tongue for a lot of disrespect. The people were openly known in their friend group to be third wheels in the relationship. They used to call me a bitch and a groomer (because I had friends who were 2 years younger than me). I used to call the main instigator a horseface after she made fun of my forehead and looks. But then it was too far. They could say whatever to me but the moment I come back I’m in the wrong.
They would openly ask my partner “Did he even get girls before you” to which my partner felt she had to defend her “choice” in me. They would cause fights to the point where I’m crying and hoping I’m no more. I would dream they would make fun of me so much - I would get up and walk out (I actually did this once but chalked it up to having to take a phone call).
They would criticize my race but then ask me to set them up with someone from my race. They would make fun of my career, yet ask me to get them a job. I tried to play nice with these people. On my own birthday, one of these girls was stressing out over organizing a career fair, I walked 40 minutes to help her out. These people would cause fights between us and I would apologize to them about stuff they do to me all the time saying “I just want to be accepted by the group”.
Worst part came when her friends pulled switchblades out on a moving bus as a joke and were brandishing it. I was the only voice of reason telling these people to stop, protecting my partner, motioning others to sit down and telling them that the group can get in so much trouble because of their idiotic behavior. Yet all her friends laughed at the fact I was getting serious. One of her friends had come up to me afterwards and showed me her palm, laughing. It was blood- she had cut her hands on the blades trying to play with the knives. Laughing.
Whether it was them blacking out drunk, headbutting each other, and touching each other inappropriately- I need to make sure no one falls behind or gets in trouble. Her friends would smack me for sitting on their bed by accident just to charge my phone near the wall. Everyone would laugh.
Her friends dressed up during Halloween as red flags (can’t make this up) and they kept making racial remarks to my friend. “Dance white boy”, “bathroom’s over there white boy”, etc. He took it as a joke the first few times but then started to feel uncomfortable. He told me wayyyy too late that this is what he experienced.
One day I had enough of their immaturity, their laughter at my pain, their double standards, and their unresolved hatred. I asked them to treat me with some respect. My partner stood silent as they continue to make insulting and demeaning faces at me and avoid the issue. I had a freeze response. Then my hypervigilance took a toll on me one day in the form of an extreme panic attack (first one ever) where I cried and clutched my chest on a train. They started indifferently. I sat crying with the doctor hugging me, while they called an Uber to go to a bar. They called the paramedics- they were heroes. I had enough, went up and yelled some disgusting things at the main instigator, who was making disgusting invalidating faces at me while I was approaching her for accountability. Called her a horsefaced-bitch. Told her “Why should I die on the train? You go kill yourself!”
My partner threatened to break up with me if her friends had told her to and told me I wasn’t fit to meet her dad. The next day, her friends guilt tripped her “You made a choice to go home with him instead of come with us to the bar”. They talked about how it was “bizarre” why I was so kind to the doctors and the paramedics yet yelled at them. A few days later, the pain in my chest was tough. I went to the doctor, got some tests and was diagnosed with a cardiac arrhythmia as a result of the panic attack. When she told her friends, they said “we don’t care he had a heart attack, we care more about what he yelled at us afterwards”.
Then blame was shifted. I was the scapegoat. They were the ultimate victim. The whole group - people who didn’t even have anything to do with the situation brought up 9 month old issues that I had apologized for. Ganged up. They said I brought too many bad memories to the group.
When I asked my partner why she lets such people run from accountability for their actions. She said how her father told her to never give up on her friends. How her father lets his friends insult him and his wife till she cries. And that was his takeaway.
I broke up with her. I can’t be a doormat like how her mother is to her father and his friends. I told her she was truly spineless for letting this happen to me. Went to a therapist and got my diagnosis for CPTSD. I wasn’t perfect but I tried. I really did. Lesson learned.
submitted by DistributionOk5166 to ToxicRelationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 07:27 DistributionOk5166 How can I move on from CPTSD

When I (21M) got into a relationship with my partner (20F), it was awesome. Then she involved her friends in the relationship. She came off as very codependent to her friends, even saying her friends (20F) are never wrong (you’re gonna see some red flags here that I was stupid to ignore). Met one of her friends - wonderful guy not a bad bone in his body, hope all of them could be Ike that. She expressed (I don’t even know jokingly) that her girl friends were jealous that she got a boyfriend - yet she wanted us to be friends.
I have never met such hypocritical people in my life on first meet. They would criticize my career (I earn decent money in school), my race (they continually called me a brown boy), the fact I didn’t drink underage, they would question my validity as a partner in earshot much to my partner’s silence. They would criticize my colloquialism - I would say “shut the fuck up” when a funny story came up while laughing. They would tell my partner (not me) that they didn’t like it (happy to not say it if it makes them feel uncomfortable) but then they proceeded to tell me to shut the fuck up with impunity. The double standards sucked. The dishing out but not being able to take it sucked. I was always made to be the villain. When I brought these up to my partner - “Oh you feel that way because they have siblings, and you’re an only child”. They showed up to my apartment unannounced when I was on a date with my partner (I live on the 3rd story). After the date was over, they would make plans to go out and say “This is a friends only thing”.
I held my tongue for a lot of disrespect. The people were openly known in their friend group to be third wheels in the relationship. They used to call me a bitch and a groomer (because I had friends who were 2 years younger than me). I used to call the main instigator a horseface after she made fun of my forehead and looks. But then it was too far. They could say whatever to me but the moment I come back I’m in the wrong.
They would openly ask my partner “Did he even get girls before you” to which my partner felt she had to defend her “choice” in me. They would cause fights to the point where I’m crying and hoping I’m no more. I would dream they would make fun of me so much - I would get up and walk out (I actually did this once but chalked it up to having to take a phone call).
They would criticize my race but then ask me to set them up with someone from my race. They would make fun of my career, yet ask me to get them a job. I tried to play nice with these people. On my own birthday, one of these girls was stressing out over organizing a career fair, I walked 40 minutes to help her out. These people would cause fights between us and I would apologize to them about stuff they do to me all the time saying “I just want to be accepted by the group”.
Worst part came when her friends pulled switchblades out on a moving bus as a joke and were brandishing it. I was the only voice of reason telling these people to stop, protecting my partner, motioning others to sit down and telling them that the group can get in so much trouble because of their idiotic behavior. Yet all her friends laughed at the fact I was getting serious. One of her friends had come up to me afterwards and showed me her palm, laughing. It was blood- she had cut her hands on the blades trying to play with the knives. Laughing.
Whether it was them blacking out drunk, headbutting each other, and touching each other inappropriately- I need to make sure no one falls behind or gets in trouble. Her friends would smack me for sitting on their bed by accident just to charge my phone near the wall. Everyone would laugh.
Her friends dressed up during Halloween as red flags (can’t make this up) and they kept making racial remarks to my friend. “Dance white boy”, “bathroom’s over there white boy”, etc. He took it as a joke the first few times but then started to feel uncomfortable. He told me wayyyy too late that this is what he experienced.
One day I had enough of their immaturity, their laughter at my pain, their double standards, and their unresolved hatred. I asked them to treat me with some respect. My partner stood silent as they continue to make insulting and demeaning faces at me and avoid the issue. I had a freeze response. Then my hypervigilance took a toll on me one day in the form of an extreme panic attack (first one ever) where I cried and clutched my chest on a train. They started indifferently. I sat crying with the doctor hugging me, while they called an Uber to go to a bar. They called the paramedics- they were heroes. I had enough, went up and yelled some disgusting things at the main instigator, who was making disgusting invalidating faces at me while I was approaching her for accountability. Called her a horsefaced-bitch. Told her “Why should I die on the train? You go kill yourself!”
My partner threatened to break up with me if her friends had told her to and told me I wasn’t fit to meet her dad. The next day, her friends guilt tripped her “You made a choice to go home with him instead of come with us to the bar”. They talked about how it was “bizarre” why I was so kind to the doctors and the paramedics yet yelled at them. A few days later, the pain in my chest was tough. I went to the doctor, got some tests and was diagnosed with a cardiac arrhythmia as a result of the panic attack. When she told her friends, they said “we don’t care he had a heart attack, we care more about what he yelled at us afterwards”.
Then blame was shifted. I was the scapegoat. They were the ultimate victim. The whole group - people who didn’t even have anything to do with the situation brought up 9 month old issues that I had apologized for. Ganged up. They said I brought too many bad memories to the group.
When I asked my partner why she lets such people run from accountability for their actions. She said how her father told her to never give up on her friends. How her father lets his friends insult him and his wife till she cries. And that was his takeaway.
I broke up with her. I can’t be a doormat like how her mother is to her father and his friends. I told her she was truly spineless for letting this happen to me. Went to a therapist and got my diagnosis for CPTSD. I wasn’t perfect but I tried. I really did. Lesson learned.
submitted by DistributionOk5166 to ptsd [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 07:24 DistributionOk5166 Can people cause panic attacks?

When I (21M) got into a relationship with my partner (20F), it was awesome. Then she involved her friends in the relationship. She came off as very codependent to her friends, even saying her friends (20F) are never wrong (you’re gonna see some red flags here that I was stupid to ignore). Met one of her friends - wonderful guy not a bad bone in his body, hope all of them could be Ike that. She expressed (I don’t even know jokingly) that her girl friends were jealous that she got a boyfriend - yet she wanted us to be friends.
I have never met such hypocritical people in my life on first meet. They would criticize my career (I earn decent money in school), my race (they continually called me a brown boy), the fact I didn’t drink underage, they would question my validity as a partner in earshot much to my partner’s silence. They would criticize my colloquialism - I would say “shut the fuck up” when a funny story came up while laughing. They would tell my partner (not me) that they didn’t like it (happy to not say it if it makes them feel uncomfortable) but then they proceeded to tell me to shut the fuck up with impunity. The double standards sucked. The dishing out but not being able to take it sucked. I was always made to be the villain. When I brought these up to my partner - “Oh you feel that way because they have siblings, and you’re an only child”. They showed up to my apartment unannounced when I was on a date with my partner (I live on the 3rd story). After the date was over, they would make plans to go out and say “This is a friends only thing”.
I held my tongue for a lot of disrespect. The people were openly known in their friend group to be third wheels in the relationship. They used to call me a bitch and a groomer (because I had friends who were 2 years younger than me). I used to call the main instigator a horseface after she made fun of my forehead and looks. But then it was too far. They could say whatever to me but the moment I come back I’m in the wrong.
They would openly ask my partner “Did he even get girls before you” to which my partner felt she had to defend her “choice” in me. They would cause fights to the point where I’m crying and hoping I’m no more. I would dream they would make fun of me so much - I would get up and walk out (I actually did this once but chalked it up to having to take a phone call).
They would criticize my race but then ask me to set them up with someone from my race. They would make fun of my career, yet ask me to get them a job. I tried to play nice with these people. On my own birthday, one of these girls was stressing out over organizing a career fair, I walked 40 minutes to help her out. These people would cause fights between us and I would apologize to them about stuff they do to me all the time saying “I just want to be accepted by the group”.
Worst part came when her friends pulled switchblades out on a moving bus as a joke and were brandishing it. I was the only voice of reason telling these people to stop, protecting my partner, motioning others to sit down and telling them that the group can get in so much trouble because of their idiotic behavior. Yet all her friends laughed at the fact I was getting serious. One of her friends had come up to me afterwards and showed me her palm, laughing. It was blood- she had cut her hands on the blades trying to play with the knives. Laughing.
Whether it was them blacking out drunk, headbutting each other, and touching each other inappropriately- I need to make sure no one falls behind or gets in trouble. Her friends would smack me for sitting on their bed by accident just to charge my phone near the wall. Everyone would laugh.
Her friends dressed up during Halloween as red flags (can’t make this up) and they kept making racial remarks to my friend. “Dance white boy”, “bathroom’s over there white boy”, etc. He took it as a joke the first few times but then started to feel uncomfortable. He told me wayyyy too late that this is what he experienced.
One day I had enough of their immaturity, their laughter at my pain, their double standards, and their unresolved hatred. I asked them to treat me with some respect. My partner stood silent as they continue to make insulting and demeaning faces at me and avoid the issue. I had a freeze response. Then my hypervigilance took a toll on me one day in the form of an extreme panic attack (first one ever) where I cried and clutched my chest on a train. They started indifferently. I sat crying with the doctor hugging me, while they called an Uber to go to a bar. They called the paramedics- they were heroes. I had enough, went up and yelled some disgusting things at the main instigator, who was making disgusting invalidating faces at me while I was approaching her for accountability. Called her a horsefaced-bitch. Told her “Why should I die on the train? You go kill yourself!”
My partner threatened to break up with me if her friends had told her to and told me I wasn’t fit to meet her dad. The next day, her friends guilt tripped her “You made a choice to go home with him instead of come with us to the bar”. They talked about how it was “bizarre” why I was so kind to the doctors and the paramedics yet yelled at them. A few days later, the pain in my chest was tough. I went to the doctor, got some tests and was diagnosed with a cardiac arrhythmia as a result of the panic attack. When she told her friends, they said “we don’t care he had a heart attack, we care more about what he yelled at us afterwards”.
Then blame was shifted. I was the scapegoat. They were the ultimate victim. The whole group - people who didn’t even have anything to do with the situation brought up 9 month old issues that I had apologized for. Ganged up. They said I brought too many bad memories to the group.
When I asked my partner why she lets such people run from accountability for their actions. She said how her father told her to never give up on her friends. How her father lets his friends insult him and his wife till she cries. And that was his takeaway.
I broke up with her. I can’t be a doormat like how her mother is to her father and his friends. I told her she was truly spineless for letting this happen to me. Went to a therapist and got my diagnosis for CPTSD. I wasn’t perfect but I tried. I really did. Lesson learned.
Was it fair for me to blame her friends for the panic attack? I feel like an idiot trying to explain all the stuff they did to cause it but then they can blame me for the way I reacted/ deflect with past issues.
submitted by DistributionOk5166 to PanicAttack [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 07:22 Consistent-String132 i know this is long, i just had to let it out

The boy who took my heart
but gave it back after crumbling it
Daylan Meadows my first heartbreak, it was truly one of the biggest learning experiences I’ve had so far. I loved him, I really did, and I know he loved me. But, not a single relationship is perfect. We weren't even close to perfect, but it felt perfect. He felt perfect. What I didn't realize was how emotionally damaging that relationship was until I lost him.
It was the summer of 2020, mid June when we first met. I was thirteen and he was seventeen. That night I was with all of my friends, we picked him up from his mamaw's house. At the time we were in different relationships. He was with a girl named Ciara, and was living with her in Berea. I was with a boy named Sam. Which was Daylans cousin, but I had met him through Jayla way before Daylan. But that night I remember seeing him, there was something different and special about him. We all drove around for a while talking and laughing about the most random things. We haven't really talked that night or after, there were times we would catch each other looking at the other. After a week or two Sam and I broke up. Jayla and I wanted to go do something before we packed her stuff to her apartment, so we invited Daylan. While driving around he had asked me how my relationship was going. Before I could say anything, Jayla told him that Sam and I broke up. He told me he was sorry to hear that but when I looked at the rearview mirror he had a big beautiful smile on his face. He started flirting with me, and we instantly connected. He told me how he and Ciara were over but he was still trying to get the stuff his papaw gave him. He never lied to me about their relationship. So we were always hanging out with each other, but he didn’t want everyone knowing, because he didn't want to hurt Sam. We hid it for a little bit. Then one day we were riding around with everyone, me and him were in the back seat. I had laid my head down because I had gotten car sick. When he saw he laid his head down with me making sure I was okay. Afterwards, he laid his hand on my knee showing me he was there for me not caring who saw.
I was falling for him. Everything about him I was falling for, the way his eyes form a yellow sunflower in the brightest baby blue, how they glistened in the sun, the way his big smile could bring light to every dark corner, the freckles that are placed perfectly on his skin, the way his voice made me feel at home, or how his jokes was always funny, but the way he looked at me, the way his skin peacefully touched mine, and the way he spoke to me with love are some of the many reasons I was falling in love with him. There was a night I never wanted to let him go. We laid there, soaking in every moment. He thought I had already fallen asleep, he pulled me in closer rubbing his finger against my cheek. I could feel him looking at me, but not just looking at me he saw me for who I was. He saw me. That’s all I ever wanted, and he gave it to me. The next morning It was just me and him and things started to progress. But the one thing I didn’t want him seeing, he saw. I was waiting for him to judge me, he never did. Instead he asked me why, the one thing no one took the time to ask. I opened up to him and he saw me, he understood me. He helped me. We were never apart, we were figuring out life together. He ended up living with me for a couple months. He was the first person to meet my mom. After we had gone and seen her, we had to stay at my aunt's house after we got back. The day we were leaving she had gotten into an argument with me. A lot of it was because of our age. Then that night he had to go back and live at his mamaws, but he was always there when I needed him. It never made us any different. He never left, he always chose me.
A year goes by 2021, we did everything together, we were experiencing everything together. Even though we had a hard time with our relationship we promised we will get through it together. We facetimed everyday, and sleep on the phone together. We even had a good night saying that we would say every night. We had gotten a dog, her name was lady may. We called her lady. After we had her for a while we had gotten willow. He and I did everything together and we always supported each other. I always made sure everyone knew I was his biggest fan. One time he let me bleach his hair and it had turned out orange. It was the funniest thing ever. We laughed about it for days. It was the little things that truly meant the most. We went to birthday parties, dinners, get-togethers, we were always there for one another. We opened up to each other more about our past. There were times we held each other on my bedroom floor as we cried together. We were learning more about each other everyday. He helped me eat when I couldn't even move out of bed. He would set alarms for every hour, so I could at least take a bite of something. He helped me when everyone was against me. He always stuck up for me. We loved each other more everyday.
After two years 2022, he got his own place, Sam and his dad Matt were also living with him. The relationship was getting hard, he would want me to stay the night with him but wouldn't want me to stay alone with Sam. I had understood why, that wasn't the problem though. The problem was he didn't trust me, so I would have to get Alicia to come over when he worked. Then he would still tell me how he dont trust me. I told him I could go home when he was going to work. Then that would lead to another argument because I didn't want to spend time with him. But we promised we would get through it together, and we did. That September he went 3 hours away for trade school. It sucked at first we missed seeing each other everyday but we still stayed. We got through it together. He came home and signed up for the marines. I didn't know about it until after. At first I was mad he didn't talk to me about it, after i supported him in every way possible. I was so proud of him, I still am. He had come so far in life and was chasing his dreams. How could i not support the boy who was so excited, the boy i loved more than anything, more than myself, the boy i wanted to be happy. He was happy so I supported him and that December he left. We wrote letters back and forth for three months. I was the first person he called when he only had one phone call and hadn't talked to anyone. When he came home it was like we had never been apart. Every little moment meant so much to us. Trying to salvage every ounce of each other before he had to go. Most of the time we sat in bed watching our favorite shows, talking about everything that has happened in the past three months. Then he had to leave all over again.
Summer 2023 was the hardest. He had gone back but was moved to North Carolina. We were doing so good, until we weren't. We argued all the time, he wouldn't call me or he would stay out all night and ignore me. I tried so hard to work it out. We promised we will get through it together. I went to visit him 9 hours away from home with my brother, Savannah, and sissy. The whole time we were there I had a feeling, I didn't know what it was.Then that night I ended up going through his phone. I didn't find anything serious but it did cause an argument. He had blamed it on me because I went through his phone and the only reason he was mad was because I woke him up. But I forgave him and pushed it away. He always apologized and tried to make it up to me, we always got through it together. I had ended up getting home 3 days after, that night we were on FaceTime and he was already asleep. I kept getting the feeling that I wanted to login to his Snapchat. At first I didn’t but the thought of it was making me sick. I knew something wasn’t right, and when I did I found it. I'll never be able to describe the sinking feeling in my chest, the feeling of wanting to throw up because your world is crumbling down, that full minute of silence, betrayal, heartbreak, how every breath felt harder and harder to reach, the way my hands started shaking with nothing but the thoughts racing through my head, and how my knees felt like giving out each step i took when walking down stairs to savannah. I don’t even know how I formed enough words or power to tell her I needed her to come upstairs with me. She could just see the look on my face. Running up the stairs I handed her my phone. Before she could even say anything I was on my knees bawling cursing him. I had woken him up, and he seemed so worried about me. Asking me what was wrong, what happened, am I okay? But I told him I knew about kaylee, the girl he was in the marines with and he went silent. Every question he said nothing, I called him every name in the book. Nothing. After 3 hours he finally told me. And I got off the phone. He checked on me every hour begging me to call him. I had ended things, I was so wrapped up in our relationship that I didn't think I could live without him. But at that moment I could. That was the first time he broke my heart, because even though we got back together, that wasn’t the end of it for him.
Two weeks later we found out I was pregnant, we were fixing everything we were doing well. I was still hurt but I had a baby to worry about now. We were so excited, we were planning everything. Until I started bleeding I knew something was wrong the first time it happened, everyone told me it was normal to spot in your first trimester. After a couple of days of bleeding more I went to the hospital. They did all kinds of tests and told me to come back in forty eight hours to check my hcg levels. When I went back my levels were dropping, they told me to come back in forty eight again. The day I was supposed to go back was horrible. I got up that morning, and was going to make myself some oatmeal. I was washing a bowl out, and got every light headed. I sat down for a minute, once I wasn't light headed anymore I got back up and continued to make the oatmeal. Not even a minute after standing back up I felt like I was going to pass out and throw up at the same time. Savannah was in the kitchen with me and she helped me sit down. She was going to finish making my oatmeal but I had to get up and run to the bathroom. I was trying to throw up but I couldn't. I had put myself on the toilet and pushed. My whole body drained, I was in so much pain. I managed to wipe myself and pull my underwear up, then I was on the floor screaming and crying. Savannah was trying to give me medicine but I was throwing everything up. She had called my sister, once she got there they put me in the car. I was passing in and out from the pain, my sister was rushing me to the hospital. After they took what feels like every test in the world, they finally told me. I was having a miscarriage. At first I didn't know how to feel but that night Savannah laid in bed holding me as I was bawling, asking God why he is doing this to me. Daylan tried to be there but didn’t know how. The next two weeks were really hard. Daylan got to come home, we never talked about the miscarriage. We fought the whole time because I found more stuff on his phone. I promised him I would never touch his phone again that I put it on our baby, and the words I never thought I would hear from him hurt me more than anything I’ve experienced. He told me we didn’t have a baby together. He broke my heart again. Those three weeks we were together again, I would cry almost every day in fear of an argument because I didn't want him out all night drinking. I had to beg him numerous times to not drink, he would be a complete asshole. But at the end of the day I would try and do everything I could to show I was a good girlfriend and that I was worth keeping. Then he left again, we were off and on that whole time nothing really changed. We argued or wouldn’t talk at all, there would be times where we would laugh and joke about everything because we saw each other. We were the only people who knew each other inside and out. The special FaceTime movie nights and how he would beg me to sing him to sleep. That never changed. My love for him always stayed the same. We’ll get through this together. We had to, we promised we would. Maybe this time we can fix it, maybe when he comes back home.
I never thought that when he did come home it would be the last time I saw him. I was so excited to be with him to be able to spend time together. But this would be the time he proves to me that he is changing and becoming better for us. The first night was amazing. We laid on the couch laughing and crying because we didn’t want to let each other go. He asked me if we were going to be okay with tears in his eyes. While holding him I told him yes we are going to be okay we are going to get through this together. He left the next morning. I didn't see him for two days. He told me he was going to hang out with buddies, but I never heard of them until then. I knew something wasn’t right, so I told him that. He told me I have nothing to worry about because he wants to come see me when I get home. On my way to my sisters I was telling Jayla about him going to Leslie co and that’s when she told me a girl named alyssa from there is reacting to his Facebook post. I ended up texting him about it and the whole time he lied to me. So I texted her and she told me the truth, and that indescribable feeling in your chest, the silence, the breaths, it all came flowing back as I’m on the kitchen floor of my sister's house bawling, begging god for us to be okay, begging god to not let me lose him. That’s when he texted me saying we will never be okay and we know that. He broke my heart again. I was begging for him not to go. I was laying in bed that night with the worst ache in my chest begging him to choose me. But he didn’t, after three years and everything we’ve been through he didn’t choose me. As my world was crumbling he handed me my crumble up heart, and chose hers. I packed up everything over the past three years for him to come get. And he did, he held me for the last time as I buried my wet face into where his neck met his shoulder. I wanted to memorize his scent as he drove away. I watched him turn away to leave and I swear to you I wanted to scream. I wanted to run after him, I wanted to beg him one more time to choose me, to love me, I wanted him. Then he drove away perfectly fine, not looking back, leaving me and my crumbled heart behind.
It’s been six months. You didn't tell me happy birthday three months ago, I waited all day. It was so hard at first, I didn't know how to be without him. He’s all I’ve ever known. But now I've felt so relieved and happy. I made plans to actually hang out with my friends again, focus on school and I've passed all of my classes for the first time in years. I know he would be so proud of me, we would be celebrating. I’ve hardly cried. And I still miss him everyday and hope for a text or call. He meant the world to me, he was honestly my best friend. I wouldn't change anything about us, I would never choose anyone else to go through it with. I will always care for him, and I'll forever wish he would come back one day so we can make it right. Maybe one day when we have grown up our paths will lead us back to each other, and we won't give up. But right now I feel like myself again. And they seem happy together. I would never want to get in their way or ruin their relationship. All I want is for him to be happy and if she's what makes him happy that's good enough for me. Although I was scared to lose him, I now love myself. I love him and I always will, but with loving him, I figured out how to love myself because Corinthians 13:4-8 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” I hope love never fails you, I hope you never have to question your worth, I hope you find peace in your sad moments because hunny you deserve the world and its entirety. You're a reminder that there is love on the hardest days. A reminder that even though I was in a bad place, I don’t need anyone but myself to be happy and honest. You showed me everything I was capable of. You showed me the importance of loving myself before I lose myself. You showed me how important I am to others. I lost myself through it all but in the end I picked myself back up and continued walking forward. I finally see myself with love and beauty, as if all my insecurities had gone away. I see myself how you once saw me. I know how happy you would be for me and all of my accomplishments. You would be hyping me up for days, you would remind me every hour that I'm doing amazing, how proud you are, and how you knew I could do it. I just wish you realize before it’s too late, you need to love yourself before others. You could lose yourself on the way. Not all stories have a happy ending, but ours had a happy middle and beginning and that will always be enough because it means that we are a story worth remembering. That our love was real, because loving you is easy and letting go is hard. I so deeply love you Daylan Meadows. I hope one day we can come together, and love won’t fail us. So please don't forget the songs we listened to, or the things we talked about, the little inside jokes we had, or the laughs we shared. Please don't forget my smile, or the sound of my voice. Just please don't forget me.
Love, Neo<3
submitted by Consistent-String132 to stories [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 07:16 Feeling_Half5945 Buying a Truck

Person “X” and I went to a dealership to look at some trucks. We found a truck we liked and person “X” wanted a monthly payment of around $400 . They came back with some numbers and they look insane. This would be my first time buying a vehicle but not person “X”. These numbers look crazy, and I really hope that person “X” hasn’t been buying cars like this all the years. Nothing has been signed but I am going to another dealership to look for another truck with better value than this. Any advice?
submitted by Feeling_Half5945 to car [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 07:05 Elvrenblood Crazy Lying Karen is a Sound Nazi

This is a bit long.
I had moved into a new apartment with my little dog and cat, and always made sure to ask my downstairs neighbor if he ever heard her and he said he never heard anything from my unit ever. He moved out after about 4 months, and a Karen moved in. At the time I was (27/28F) who had over ten years of experience with toxic neighbors and roommates.
Two months after she moved in my dog was killed by a pit bull as i wrestled to get its jaws open. i still have scars on my fingers from where the pit bull's fangs dug into me as i was prying. (And no i was in so much trauma that I could not bear the idea of killing someone else's puppy when I knew that was a pitbull puppy, that was not receiving proper training and he thought killing my dog was playing with a toy. i later found out someone else called and got animal services to arrive, and the owner had skipped out on the unit disappearing legally and situationally to avoid criminal charges.) I need emotional support dogs because of a very traumatic life, and part of that trauma will be relayed in another story. I waited 6 months for a new puppy to be born after searching carefully for breeders i agreed with and the temperament and sensitivity of their parent dogs. I have owned 3 dogs of the same breed (Larger yorkshire terrier who are sensitive to mood swings, seizures and other medical conditions more than a lot of big dogs 'supposedly' do. I do not tolerate a nitpicky dog they are fully desensitized by me in preparation for my future children ) before this and it was my first time experiencing the next problem.
My downstairs Karen had been friendly with me and chatted a lot but I could tell she was one of those 'no-nonsense' people and she even tried to give me rules like "No noise above me after 6pm" when I work early in the morning and wouldn't be home till after 7 which meant i was not allowed to VACCUME my own home except on my 1 day per month off of work. Usually those one days off were because i was sick from exhaustion and they were recovery days, not cleaning ones.
When she started complaining every single day about how her water was not 'hot enough' and she demanded she should have entitlement to piping hot water I realized she really was a Karen kind of woman. I let her know I had adopted a new puppy and that I was going to do extensive training to make sure it was a good little neighbor but asked her to bear with me. By the time the Karen moved out she had been under me for 2 years. and I got my new puppy around halfway through that.
At first she would lie to me and tell me she 'could never hear my dog' at all. I knew my dog barked in separation anxiety from her personality for the first 30-45 minutes after I left for work around 10 am, and otherwise stopped. 6 months before the Karen moved out, my dog was barking constantly because the Karen would sit on her patio below mine and talk so loudly it was as if she were talking in the middle of my house! I started getting text messages constantly about how my dog would not stop barking and when her friend had a baby over my dog barked so much it traumatized the baby. I told her repeatedly "Do not talk to my dog o r it makes her bark more." I told her repeatedly how LOUDLY she talked on the patio at 6-8 in the morning when I worked a day and a night shift and she was waking ME up. She would then claim I was imagining things as she worked night shift and couldnt POSSIBLY be awake that early. I the discord messages to my friends complaining about her to confirm I was not crazy but never showed her. She then tried to claim that my dog was disturbing all the neighbors and barked all day long. At this point, i had realized she was a very entitled Karen, and thanks to my late hours I found out her 'early morning' or 'nightshifts' were total lies. The hours she would need to be home to impose the '6pm curfew of noise' was ridiculous as she was coming home closer to 10pm. When she switched her tune of saying she needed silence in the morning, is when she was waking ME up at 6 in the morning.
At this point, I put up those cameras that are free and use your internet to monitor whatever to your phone. I could confirm that my dog would bark for the 45 minutes at most and then the only time she barked was maybe 4 or 5 times if someone was making strange loud noises below her. This meant someone pulling a cart or suitcase-type bag clicking across the sidewalk and she would bark until she couldn't hear it anymore so maybe a minute at most. She had been fully trained with sonic noise makers, dog whistles, training, and even that 'open door at odd intervals ' tricks. I refuse to use electric shock on my little girl or drugs when she is just fine for most of the day with her kitty brother. This is when the Karen's lies got worse!
Thats when the construction started. Every day for a week, that Karen was blowing up my phone saying my tiny dog was howling and screaming at all times. She even got the complex ownership to threaten me and tell me to control my dog with training or the complex would either evict me or forcibly remove my dog. This is illegal to do in my state as she is medically signed off on an Emotional support dog. I showed the office proof that my dog did NOT bark every single day and even witness reports that I had been so stressed I had actually been taking my dog to work as a caregiver, and she was making my client really happy, every other day. Further disproving the Karens claims. Over two weeks I discovered that the noises that DID make my dog bark were from the intense roof renovations that were going on, and the extensive painting and landscaping efforts that made it sound like people were trying to break down our walls. I fully understood why my poor girl was freaking! It even scared me so badly that the first time I heard them on the roof i ran to the office with the sound recording and they explained the rooftops were being re-tarred.
The Karen would not give up and the last time she texted me it was something like how "You need to control your dog. I cannot tollerate her barking at all times of the day and night! I will report you to the office and have the other neighbors sign a petition to get you eveicted if you do not put her in doggie daycare or get rid of her!" I replied with "Sure. You pay for the Doggie Daycare which is about $75 per day and then she will be quiet. Also I know for a fact you exaggerate and lie. My dog is wiht me half the times you claim she is barking and I know you are friends with your next-door neighbor whos dog barks worse and louder than mine out on his porch. Do not contact me again or speak to me in passing. If you do i will take this to more legal action" and I blocked her. A week later the office again tried to say they were getting complaints but admitted it was just one neighbor. I had made friends with the office worker and they loved my little dog. I even proved to them she was only making a small amount of noise the days she was left home. The stress this neighbor caused me with my new dog, who was supposed to reduce my clinical depression and anxiety went through the roof. If it weren't for my client letting me bring my dog for him to play with I dont think I would have been able to stay sane.
4 months before Karen moved out she tried one last trick to force me to deal with my dog 'her way' by submitting a proposal to the metro city district that i live in where they order me to cease and desist my dogs noise and that i was 'not compliant' with the required law ordinates. I could tell from the writing she had exaggerated the time, frequency, and duration of my dog's barking, much of which my cameras which were set to noise-sensitive, identified as two separate neighbors' dogs barking, not mine. My latest dog has a VERY unique bark with a pitch that is undeniably hers and is the first dog I ever had with barking or separation issues so i could easily tell the others were a medium and large barking dog. I laughed at the letter which said to further enforce the complaint they would require a petition of all my immediate neighbors, all of which said they couldn't hear my dog in comparison to the other barkers, and would not likely give their signatures to Karen. I decided if she ever did try anything else I would report to the office that she had a breech of contract 3 cats in her house two of which were identical and were grounds for immediate eviction, but I waited to see if she would cross me one last time. I laughed off the city mandate letter and tossed the letter out after the Karen moved away and never faced any repercussions but she gave me so many dirty looks. I started living in my home MY way after the text message that i had sent about 2 weeks prior to getting the notice, and had been vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, and doing any other cleaning i needed and wanted to do, ignoring her 'noise hour' demands. I good-naturedly would not do anything after 9pm as I consider that normal for neighbors who do not have children in a building that is mostly cement blocks per unit.
I am VERY happy to report that the neighbor who replaced the Karen actually LOVES that my dog barks when i go, and whenever someone is passing the area to the stairs of our shared entry. She has some paranoia of ghosts and when they lived on the 2nd floor she kept hearing footsteps on the roof at night. She says hearing my dog bark at normal loud things a dog should bark at helps her feel safe and comfortable because my dog tells her if shes hearing things or actually has someone being too close for comfort in our entryway and outside our mutual porches. The best part is we did a noise test! She couldn't hear my vacuum, my carpet shampooer, my blender OR my TV even when it was at a volume that was painful for MY ears! That Karen was such a dirty liar!!!
I was not overly concerned about Karen's attempts after her first failure, it was mostly just a source of stress because of how often she bombarded me or the wonder if another fake allegation against me would appear. I learned a lot in my teenage years and childhood about what is legally allowed and that was unfortunately given a crash course the year before I found this little paradise complex. I also use legal rights knowledge as a caregiver to help my clients stay safe from abusive sources or ones that would extort them. I know how and when to react and to ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS have proof to back up my end.
submitted by Elvrenblood to RipeStories [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 06:56 IndieIsle Peace officer harassing me - any ideas what to do?

Hoping someone here will have some advice -
About a month ago a peace officer knocked on my door, he said that he had noticed two garbage bags in our backyard that hadn’t been moved. We live in a brand new build and the builders haven’t completed the landscaping, so it’s just a dirt lot and the garbage bags had building debris.
He asked me what my plan was for moving it and I said I would move it that night. However, when I called my husband (who works out of town) he said to leave it until he was home the next day and he would toss it in his truck.
The trouble starts when the peace officer came back less than 14 hours to “check” on the garbage and he beat my husband coming home so the garbage was still there. I guess this royally pissed him off.
Since then he keeps coming to our house and issuing me bullshit tickets. First it was that our dog wasn’t registered with the town (we just moved here, so fine), then it was leaving “voluntary” tickets on my car for some unknown reason.
Then it was tagging my car as “abandoned” and marking my tires. I drive my kids to school every day and pick them up, shuttle them to activities etc. I drive my car usually four or five times a day. He leaves his cards with his cell number telling us to call. It’s just ridiculous at this point.
Today my husband called when they marked my car as abandoned again, (I literally drove it yesterday) and he told us that someone was calling and complaining. I called bullshit, because I’m friendly with all our neighbours and they obviously know our car isn’t abandoned. It’s parked directly infront of our house, along with every single person who lives on our street. He was vague and finally told me I could pay to get the information of who’s complaining.
To be clear we’re just a totally normal family - we don’t have parties, we aren’t loud, our house was just built so it’s not like it’s unsightly, there’s literally nothing on our lot. I’m a stay at home mom, our dog is old and doesn’t bark and is only walked.
Any ideas on how to get this peace officer to leave us alone? I don’t want it to get any worse. On the phone he vaguely threatened us “being charged” and “going to court”? Like… for what? It’s just a huge nuisance at this point.
submitted by IndieIsle to Edmonton [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 06:51 gottagoguy Viber Chat History from Android to iPhone (OK with Paid Service)

Hi,
There's no official backup method per Viber for this.
Looking for a transfer service from Android to iPhone. I saw Backuptrans on the web, it's paid - i am willing to pay just to transfer my chat history because it's all work-related over the years and highly important. But it's a funny looking app and some testimonies say it's not working. Is there a highly reliable app or software to do this?
I initially tested Dr. Fone for trial, but my phones wouldn't even get identified or appear on the app.
Thank you!
submitted by gottagoguy to Tech_Philippines [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 06:50 gottagoguy Viber Chat History from Android to iPhone (OK with Paid Service)

Hi,
Like previous posts here, looking for a transfer service from Android to iPhone. I saw Backuptrans on the web, it's paid - i am willing to pay just to transfer my chat history because it's all work-related over the years and highly important. But it's a funny looking app and some testimonies say it's not working. Is there a highly reliable app or software to do this?
I initially tested Dr. Fone for trial, but my phones wouldn't even get identified or appear on the app.
Thank you!
submitted by gottagoguy to viber [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 06:33 findbluecastle eSIM problems

I have not made a mobile company switch for over 15 years. Not because I like AT&T but because all cell companies suck and might as well stay with one that isn't causing me too much trouble.
Well the dismal economy and price of groceries pushed me to make a change and the $15 a month promo seemed like a good impetus to make the switch to mint.
Signed up today with eSIM. The instructions did not tell me that I needed to delete the At&t eSIM before activating the Mint eSIM. So I followed the instructions to activate and ported over my number from At&t. Got an error that the eSIM could not be activated.
Contacted Mint via chat. They said I would need to delete both eSIMs and get a new one and that I would receive it within 4 hours. Contacted them when I had received nothing within 6 hours. Was told I would receive the email within 2 hours. Three hours later nothing. Contacted them again and was boldly lied to that the email was coming within 10 min.
So should I expect this to not be resolved and get a refund and port my number back to At&t?
I'm very disappointed and frustrated.
Edit: to say I have an iPhone 14
submitted by findbluecastle to mintmobile [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 06:23 icecap79 The story of how I am about to die

I have only fallen in love twice in my life. My first love was these old arctic mountains where I live, and the second was the woman who convinced me to leave these mountains 8 years ago.
I shot that woman dead a few weeks back because my first love asked me to, whispering to me from thousands of miles away. I did it because I missed hearing the sound of that whisper. I did it because I needed to hear that whisper in person again. I’m only saying all this because very soon I am going to die, and I cannot bear to take all this with me to the grave.
I moved back to the mountains just this week to a house well outside a remote little town. My new neighbors have been all nice to me since I lied to them that my wife shot herself. I almost couldn’t help laughing when the sweet old lady across the road brought a delicious baked lasagna to my door yesterday. As a sympathy gift I’m sure.
Anyway, my new property in the mountains is gorgeous; 100 acres of frozen forest wilderness with just a few neighbors across the road. I even have a small lake to myself a ways back in the woods. Every night since I’ve arrived I’ve been taking walks through that wilderness, listening to the mountains whisper. Each night, they’ve been beckoning me farther and farther into those woods, whispering my name in the icy wind.
Tonight on my walk, I stumbled upon the entrance to an old mine. The light from my phone flashlight didn’t reach far when I peered timidly inside. As I turned to go, I heard a rasping voice echo from within the mine. “HELLLLLP” it cried. After nearly pissing myself in surprise, I yelled back into the mine asking what was the problem. There was no response. I tried again. And again. Then, the voice cried out again screaming “HELP ME.” It sounded distorted like it had echoed some distance through the tunnel. I noticed another set of footprints in the snow leading to the mine. They were recent.
I tried to call 911, but I couldn’t. I had service, but the calls just weren’t going through for some reason. I thought about going back to the house and trying the phone there, but a desperate “PLEASE, SOMEONE I NEED HELP” from the mine made me worried that it might take too long. I wondered what someone else had been doing exploring MY property at night anyway. I thought I ought to have just left them there to let it serve them right, but with another pleading cry from the mine, I decided not to add any more weight to my conscious by walking away and maybe letting someone die.
Carefully, I went into the mine, watching over my shoulder as the moonlight in the door faded into a spec behind me as I slowly walked forward, following the whimpering cries for help. The tunnel was narrow and completely dark, with a strange stink to it, like the smell of burned hair. I did not want to be in there a second longer than I needed to. It gave me the creeps.
Soon, I got to a fork where the tunneling split off into two branches. On the floor was a sticky note with two arrows drawn on it. One arrow pointed down the tunnel I had just walked, and another pointed down the tunnel branching off to the right.
It gave me a funny feeling. A bad feeling. But I heard another piercing “HELLLP” from the right hand tunnel and suddenly it made sense. The person in trouble must’ve left it behind to avoid getting lost. They must have left arrows pointing the way they came and the way they were going so that they could trace their path back to the entrance. Still, something seemed off.
The voice cried out again, sounding pretty close. I yelled back. There was still no response. I thought about turning around and Christ knows I should have, but I could not stand the thought of having another life on my hands to haunt me with my wife in my nightmares. I did not want to hear those bone chilling screams for help every time I closed my eyes. I knew that they would curse my dreams for the rest of my life if I walked away. I already had one too many dead people on my conscience. Besides, the distressed person didn’t sound too far away.
I was wrong about that for sure. I continued though that cold mine for a long while more. Following the flashlight on my phone through the total blackness. The tunnel got narrower and colder as I went. I felt like my bones themselves were freezing. The cries always sounded close, but really the echoing effect was just deceiving me. I came to many more forks with sticky notes. Each note always with two arrows. One pointing the way the person had went and one pointing the way out. I kept calling out to the person in distress but they still didn’t answer me. They just kept yelling for help. How could I hear them screaming so loudly but they couldn’t hear me at all?
Then, I heard them again. They HAD to be close judging by the sound of that scream. I was certain they were just down the left tunnel at the fork I had just come to. The 9th fork I had come to at that. Hurrying, I rushed down that tunnel, crying out to them as I went. There was light! The first I’d seen in awhile. It came from a grate in the ceiling, where a long shaft must’ve vented in air. In that light, I saw a wall at the other side of the tunnel. It was a dead end. Nobody was here. I was confused, I was sure that last scream had come from here. The arrow on the last note had pointed this way too.
Then I had a horrifying thought. Why would there need to be two arrows on each note for the person to find their way out? Why wouldn’t there just be one arrow to point to the path to the exit? I ran back down the tunnel, and to my horror, the sticky note at the fork there was gone. I searched the floor for it but it just wasn’t there. Panicking, I began to frantically run back through the mine, taking my best guess at the way I had come. All of the sticky notes were gone.
I was overjoyed when I saw moonlight at the end of the tunnel I had come to. I ran toward it panting, dying to leave this horrible place. To my disappointment, I realized that the light was coming from the grate at the ceiling, not from the entrance. I was back at the dead end. Somehow I had gotten lost and run in a circle.
Then, I saw a small figure step into the moonlight from the grate. Assuming it was the person I was here to help, I cried out to them and ran towards them. As I got closer, I recognized the figure. It was the sweet old lady from across the street. Why was she smiling like that? Why was she naked? What was that rectangular object she was holding? “Are you ok?” I asked in confusion. She took a sheet of tin foil off of the top of the object, revealing a baked lasagna in a small pan. She pulled out a fork and took a bite, sauce spilling on her chin. I waited for her to finish chewing, too confused to know how to react. “Fine!” she said swallowing, “Fine! Yep! I’m doing fine! Just fine and dandy!” She held out a fork of lasagna for me to take a bite. I looked at the fork. To my horror, it was not lasagna.
It appeared to be sheets of human skin, covered in small hairs and stacked in layers of goopy bloody sauce like a lasagna.
I don’t know if I screamed. I can’t remember. I only remember that terrible laugher echoing behind me as I ran away. I ran and ran, faster than I knew I could, turning random corners, just trying to put as much distance as possible between me and that lady. Her sickening laughter echoed everywhere. I heard it from all directions. I needed to get out of there. I tripped on something, I don’t know what, and I think I passed out. Then I think I remember being carried? I know I remember the laughing. I think I was unconscious.
I woke up just 10 minutes ago about. I’m missing my arms. My arm stubs hurt so bad. I’m not in the mine anymore. I’m standing on a frozen lake.
There’s a chain around one of my ankles. It goes through a hole in the ice. I think there’s a weight attached at the bottom of it. Judging by the strength of the chains pulling on my ankle I don’t think the weight has reached the lake floor. In fact I don’t think that there is a lake floor at all. Also beneath the ice is a dead woman floating in the water. A beautiful dead woman. A dead woman with a bullet hole in her head. I don’t know how she’s here.
The ice is melting fast. Even now I can hear the first pops as it begins to crack. If I look into the dead woman’s eyes the ice will stop melting. That’s what the old lady tells me at least. I tried for a second to meet the corpse’s dead gaze and it worked. The melting stopped. But I could not look for long. I could not bear it. I could not stand to look at what I had done. I’d rather the ice melt. I’d rather that chain drag me under the freezing black water than see the blankness in those eyes for a moment more.
That wretched old lady is still here. Sitting naked in the snow on the shore. She’s watching me, cackling through mouthfuls of her disgusting lasagna. I don’t want to look at her either. The ice is getting thin now, I feel it starting to crack beneath my feet. Oh god. Why me?
((((Got idea from 1922 in full dark no stars by Stephen king))))
submitted by icecap79 to nosleep [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 06:20 anoncat1997 Figg Creation [Long Post]

Figg Creation [Long Post]
Hello~! ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
I can't sleep so I'm trying to tire myself out by writing a little 'guide' of sorts of how I personally create figgs (basically sleepy rambles).
I'm definitely not as skilled at making figgs as other creators that I admire and whom are more well-known in the community, but I'm better at it than I used to be when I started. And, after much trial and error (perhaps one could even call it 'experience'), I think that I can give some good enough advice, albeit nothing too revolutionary (it's more so something that could hopefully help newer users who aren't familiar with bot creation). After all, we do already have multiple very helpful resources that I learned from myself, but I just wanted to explain the way that I put those resources to good use, how I personalize them, and give any other advice that might be relevant.
Without further ado, let's start with the:
🟣 𝐏𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 section of figg creation.
For singular characters, I usually use the Leo Sunshine template provided by the site:
[character("Name") { Nickname("") Species("") Age("_ years old") Features("Eye color" + "Hair color" + "Hair style" + "Skin color" + "Etc, as many features as you think are relevant" + "Other defining features like sharp teeth, scars, animal/monsteunusual features, etc" + "Even extra things like make-up, tattoos, piercings, etc") Body("_cm tall" + "_ foot _ inches tall" + "Body type" + "Sometimes specific parts that I want to draw attention to, like big hands or defined abs, etc" + "Sometimes NSFW traits, like details pertaining to the figg's genitalia and such") Mind("" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Personality("" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Loves("" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Hates("" + "" + "" + "") Description("" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") }]
And here's how I work through these sections in the template:
  • Features and Body: You can add as much or as little as you want in these sections.
I usually prefer to use my tokens in other sections (see "Character Limit" at the bottom), so I tend to just describe the eye and hair color in the Features section, and the height (as in tall or short) and the body type in the Body section. But there are figgs whom I describe in more detail if I intend them for certain purposes where I'd like the figg to draw more attention to their body or if there are specific features that I particularly like or consider relevant and want them to be mentioned more often during roleplay.
When I have a figg who's non-human, for example a fish-man or an anthropomorphic cat baron, I reinforce this fact in the Body section. So, I'd write something like this in the Body section "[Character Name] is a fish-man whose body is mostly humanoid, except for some distinct fish-man features" and I list/describe those features in the Features section. This can help the figg understand more about what you've put in the Species section and why it has those features, as well as perhaps how much control they are supposed to have over them (which you can always reinforce and/or detail upon in the Description section).
  • Mind vs Personality: The way I go about it is that the Mind section is for the figg's thoughts and the Personality section is how the figg interacts with other people (or more accurately, usually with user). But none will truly work perfectly unless you describe the way that the two sections interact with each other, which you can add in the Description section.
For example, you can have a figg who is "Shy" (so, you'd add it in the Mind section) but they act "Confident" (so you'd put it in the Personality section). But the figg might not accurately portray it how you envisioned, unless you describe it in the Description section, adding something like "[Character Name] is internally very shy but they manage to put up a confident front when talking to people". You can even add some backstory as to how they managed to gain this confidence and what body language might give away the way they actually feel inside (so, things to flesh out the character and give more flavor to the roleplay).
  • Description: This section can be used for any information that cannot be explained in simple adjectives or things which simply don't fit in any other section. It can contain backstory elements, perhaps what their relationship with user is, what their goals are, lore, etc. And, as I've mentioned above, it's a good section to reinforce or detail upon previously mentioned features, attributes, and the like.
My personal advice is to write it in third person, add the figg's name and the pronouns that they use. This is a good way to make sure that the figg doesn't get confused, such as mistaking this information as not being theirs, either taking the information as being user's or even making the figg prone to acting out as user. An example of how I consider it best to be written is "[Character Name] is a kind person who's been hurt a lot, so she's now very cautious of strangers".
🟣 The Leo Sunshine template is quite simple and easy to use, but it's also very 𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 to better fit your needs or if you notice that perhaps things don't work out exactly how you want during testing. Here are some extra sections that I sometimes add in such situations:
  • History or Backstory: If I want to describe very specific events that happened in the figg's past and how it affected the figg, perhaps to better explain some of their current behavior. So, something like: "[Character Name] grew up in an orphanage and learned to fend for themselves from a young age, making them hyper-independent".
  • Family: To write out the names of their family members, who they are to the figg, and what their relationship is like with the figg. So, something like: Family("[Mother's Name] is [Character's Name]'s mother who always takes care of him and who taught him how to be a gentleman" + "[Father's Name] is [Character's Name]'s father who supports him financially and taught him how to drive" + "etc").
  • Outfit: Where you can describe what the figg is wearing, including clothes, jewelry and anything of the sort. You can even add weapons that they might be hiding/having on them, or any items that they might perhaps have in their purse/backpack, etc. For the latter things, you could of course even just add a section called Inventory.
  • Sexuality: To express the gendes that the figg is attracted to, the body type/s that they prefer, perhaps that they might not experience any such attraction at all, perhaps that they might only prefer romance, perhaps that they might not have any interest in any of it, perhaps that they are questioning, etc.
  • Sexual Traits: I sometimes divide the NSFW traits into this category, rather than putting it all together in the Body section of the template. I just sometimes worry that the figg might mention anything inappropriate about their body in normal conversation (since I don't often make figgs with the sole purpose of NSFW), so it can help to make this distinction to avoid any mishaps.
  • Relationships: It's a bit like the Family section, but instead you can add things like friends, enemies, acquaintances, even their relationship with user. The way I write it is also the same as Family, so: Relationships("[Friend's Name] is [Character's Name]'s best friend who's always there for him and whom he hangs out with almost every day" + "[Enemy's name] is [Character's Name]'s academic rival who he always competes with and who he often gets in arguments with" + "[Teacher's Name] is [Character's Name]'s English teacher who he admires for their understanding and supportive nature" + "{{user}} is [Character's Name]'s best friend who they met in kindergarten and who they kept in touch with ever since" + "etc").
  • Setting and/or Location: Setting would be something like "Medieval" or "Futuristic" where you'd describe more about the world that you're envisioning, such as the technology that they have available, the mentality of the people in that world, perhaps different kingdoms, etc. And Location would be the specific place where they are, such as a specific town, perhaps specific establishment (hotel, bar, park, house, etc). You can, of course, add these in the Scenario part of the figg creation, but I personally usually reserve that section for other purposes which I will also mention later on.
  • Habits/Quirks/Chat behavior - Honestly, the name of the section doesn't really matter but, based on my testing and what usually works best for me, here's how I typically use them:
Habits is where I usually add the figg's speech pattern, whether it'd be the length I expect their messages to be or the fact that they are bilingual and tend to mix words from another language in their speech. So, something like: Habits("{{char}} will write long and descriptive message" + "{{char}} will describe the new locations when {{user}} or {{char}} moves to a new location" + "{{char}} always includes French words into his dialogue" + "etc"). This section can include whatever type of speech pattern you desire, however you expect the figg's messages to look like, and anything of the sort. This section is best paired with good Example Dialog and Greeting Message (will explain more later on).
Quirks is where I add specific actions that I want the figg to do often (so what one would actually consider a habit by definition). For example, that they tend to fidget with the strap of their watch when they are nervous.
Chat behavior is where I add if I want something extra to happen throughout the interaction. For example, I might want random events to happen, such as potential enemies attacking or the weather taking a change for the worst. Of course, you can also add this in the Scenario, if it's a specific story line that you want to happen. But I usually put it here if it's more of an easter egg that I want to happen randomly or under specific circumstances. Do test out what wording works best for you, however, because it might sometimes not do it at all or do too much of it.
And, again, all these extra things can be put as either Habits/Quirks/Chat behavior regardless of their nature, because sometimes the speech pattern works better as Chat Behavior rather than Habits for example. Can't explain why but trial and error taught me that only testing can really tell you what works best.
Another thing to note is that I almost always write these sections with {{char}} instead of using the figg's name. It's just (you guessed it) what's worked best for me.
  • Ethnicity: which I usually add to further reinforce bilingual figgs. It just helps the figg understand why they know that language and why they'd be prone to use it often. You could, of course, even reinforce it in the Description/Backstory - for example, by adding that they worked abroad for a while and that's where they learned this language. Whatever you find most suitable for your character.
And with all these extra sections that I sometimes add, a more customized template could look like this:
[character("") { Nickname("") Species("") Gender("") Age(" years old") Sexuality("") Ethnicity("") Features("" + "") Body("" + "") Sexual Traits("" + "") Outfit("" + "" + "") Mind("" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Personality("" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Loves("" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Hates("" + "" + "" + "") Description("" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "" + "") Habits("" + "") Quirks("" + "") Chat behavior("") Backstory("" + "" + "") Family("" + "" + "") Relationships("" + "" + "") Setting("" + "" + "") Location("") }]
You can also delete or add whatever section/s you think might suit your needs better, such as deleting "Chat behavior" or adding maybe an extra section for "Hobbies". I've seen some wonderful creators even add "Fears", perhaps you could add "Phobias". You can add whatever you feel necessary if you notice that writing it out in the other sections doesn't bring a satisfactory result or if it's simply easier for you to have a template sectioned that way.
Just test things out and you'll find out what works best for you~! You'll notice that I'm going to say this a lot, because some sections work perfectly sometimes just the way they are, while sometimes I have to change their name and/or wording entirely. I cannot explain why, but it's just the way it is. There's a lot of trial and error when creating figgs, especially if you want them to behave in very specific ways and have very specific backstories, etc.
Another thing to note is that no specific template will work all the time. I've some figgs which have very similar concepts, so you'd expect that they'd be the same at their core, but I've ended up having to use different templates and wording for each of them. Some people even write their figgs in prose without any template at all, some just copy-paste things from the wiki, and there are so many more creative and perhaps easier ways to make figgs. Do, check it all out in the relevant posts that we have available in the sub FAQ mentioned at the beginning of my post.
🟣 The 𝐒𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐨 part of figg creation.
You can use the Scenario for a multitude of purposes in a multitude of ways:
  • You can use it to make sure that the figg has a clear idea of where they are - as in the setting and/or location.
I usually use it this way if my figg is supposed to mainly stay or outright be stuck in a specific place, such as school, work, park, bar, prison, etc. Depending on your needs, you can just write "{{char}} is locked in a prison cell" or "{{char}} is at work in the office". You can add more details as to why they are there, how long they're supposed to be there, anything relevant to your story that you prefer to put here instead of in the Personality part of the figg creation. And you don't have to worry about this making the scenario too stationary because the figg will play along if you want to move the location. And with the new improved memory, I've noticed that it keeps good track of where you are (of course, it also depends on the model that you're randomly paired up with at the beginning of the chat).
And, like I mentioned before, this could also be the place where you write the lore of your setting, if you have anything special in mind. So, all the details that I explained in the Setting section above.
  • You can use it to give the figg an extra reminder of how the story started, so that it won't forget how the figg met {{user}} and to reinforce that it's an important event. It can just be something as simple as "{{char}} bumped into {{user}} at school and he fell in love with {{user}} at first sight" or it can be as detailed as you'd like.
  • You can use it to stir the conversation in a specific direction. This is how I use it most often. You can write exactly what the figg has planned for {{user}}. For example, you can describe that they're planning to take {{user}} on a date, perhaps that they're planning to do their best to play as many pranks on {{user}} as possible, anything you might want the story to be about. Again, it can be as simple or as detailed as you desire.
For example, in my most recent figg, I wrote a very detailed description of a mysterious location that I want my figg to take {{user}} to, as well as how the figg will interact with {{user}} once they're there. But, just like before, you don't have to worry about the figg being stuck on this idea. All my chats (outside of testing) with this particular figg have been before we ever get to the location and I kept stirring the conversation in other directions than what was intended, and it performed very well.
Do remember, however, that testing is the rule of thumb (this phrase is very amusing to my currently sleep deprived brain for some reason, thumbs are oddly funny). As good as figgs are at playing along with the Scenario and even building upon it, they sometimes need specific wording to function right. I don't think there's a reason why they get so fussy sometimes, but it just happens and you've to be patient with them.
My personal advice is to write the Scenario in prose and use {{char}} and {{user}}. But you can try many ways to see what works best for you! There's no one way to create figgs after all.
As for a character limit for the Scenario, I don't know if there is one. The longest Scenario I wrote was of 1841 characters and it still performed as intended without any hiccups.
🟣 The 𝐄𝐱𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞 part of figg creation.
I don't use it often, to be fair, usually when I want to make sure that the figg will follow a specific speech or roleplay pattern.
  • Speech pattern: If I want a figg to have an accent, be bilingual, or follow any sort of particular speech pattern, I just write out a lot of ONLY dialogue without any roleplay in the Example Dialog. So, for example, if I wanted to have a figg add Italian words to their sentences, I'd add phrases like:
"Good morning, amore mio." "Ciao, my name is Marco. Come stai? I come from Italia, but live here in the US!" "Mia nonna taught me how to make authentic Italian pizza." "I know, right? Che stronzo. How the hell did he even get into business with us in the first place?" "I'm telling you, he was such a coglione. Couldn't tell a good deal from a bad deal to save his life. We were basically regalando him the money." "Oh dio, che bellezza!"
I add both short sentences and longer ones to ensure that the figg can behave accordingly in any type of conversation, whether you're being casual or you're getting more serious.
I also use this method of adding only sentences for characters from pre-existing media, like fandoms and such. I just copy-paste quotes from their wiki page or painstakingly re-watch the episodes and transcribe it all myself because I tend to like side characters that aren't as popular :'D.
The only "downside" that can arise from only putting sentences in the Example Dialog is that you have to make sure that your Greeting Message has the kind of roleplay that you're expecting out of your figg because the figg would otherwise be prone to ONLY speak in sentences without roleplay or have very minimal roleplay.
A fun fact about this kind of usage of the Example Dialogue is that you can use it to include things that you weren't able to add in the Personality part of the figg creation (aka in the template) perhaps due to the character "limit". For example, for my vampire characters, I added how they feel about being a vampire in their Description but I went in depth about how they express it to others in the Example Dialog. Figgs can pick up on the ideologies and opinions that are written here and even get a general idea of what kind of person they're supposed to be. It blew my mind when I realized that! Because it was like discovering a "cheat code" to add extra flavor to the character, despite the character limit.
Do keep in mind that if you add too much Example Dialog, it can end up causing the figg to directly spout those sentences word by word and to be too stuck in the dialogue that you put in. I don't know what the limit is exactly but I keep mine under 2000 characters (I'm realizing that this is overall the magic number for every section).
  • Roleplay pattern: I sometimes have figgs whose Greeting Message I want to be more vague and short (either to entice the user to explore or simply because I want the scenario to be as neutral as possible). But I do like my figgs to give longer replies; so, to ensure that, I add Example Dialog using the same 'template' given in the example box on the site. Like this:
https://preview.redd.it/dpok0bmnap2d1.png?width=735&format=png&auto=webp&s=8db04a69ce0cb617292690d637fe78ecc28d45e8
I always use "" to indicate dialogue and ** to indicate action/roleplay because I just don't want the AI to get confused otherwise, but you can of course do what works best for you.
I will add more about the usage of this kind of Example Dialog below, as it's quite relevant and helpful to the creation of figgs that aren't just a singular character.
🟣 𝐌𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.
Just like everything else, there is no one way to write multiple characters but here's what's worked for me so far:
  • I either free form it (which is my personal preferred way to write multiple characters figgs or RPG style figgs). I just write all the information with only "" + "". Example:
"{{char}} will roleplay as two characters: Andy and Carl" + "Andy is a bit of a prankster and he's always laughing" + "Carl is more reserved and a goodie-two-shoes" + "Andy has orange hair and wears baggy clothes" + "Carl wears perfectly tailored suits that are always clean and in pristine condition" + "They both love to spend time with their best friend, {{user}}" + "etc"
  • Or I break it down in other ways in templates, examples:
Description("{{char}} will roleplay as two characters: Andy and Carl" + "They both love to spend time with their best friend, {{user}}" + "etc") Andy("Andy is a bit of a prankster and he's always laughing"+ "Andy has orange hair and wears baggy clothes") Carl("Carl is more reserved and a goodie-two-shoes" + "Carl wears perfectly tailored suits that are always clean and in pristine condition" + "etc")
So, in the above template, the Description section is reserved for the things that the two characters share in common, some shared backstory, how I want the story to unfold, etc. And then a description of each individual character in separate sections as their Names.
  • Another template I've used is:
Chat behavior("{{char}} will roleplay as two characters: Andy and Carl" + "They both love to spend time with their best friend, {{user}}" + "etc") Description("Andy is a bit of a prankster and he's always laughing" + "Carl is more reserved and a goodie-two-shoes" + "Andy has orange hair and wears baggy clothes" + "Carl wears perfectly tailored suits that are always clean and in pristine condition")
In this template, you add in the Chat Behavior section what would have been in the Description section in the first template. And in the Description section of this template, you add the descriptions of the characters.
In all of them, you can add as many characters as you'd like. And, as you can see, no one template will always work, so you can always customize the templates with different names for the sections and you can word things differently when filling them out.
Another important thing is to include all characters in the Greeting Message to give the AI an idea of how you want to portray the interactions and that you want all of them to be active participants. You can certainly have characters pop in at different times during the story but that requires even more trial and error.
How you'd go about making characters appear during specific times is to perhaps write something like "When {{user}} enters the Green Room, they will be greeted by Character A" + "When {{user}} enters the Yellow Room, they will be greeted by Character B" etc. Or perhaps it can even go something like "If Character A and Character B will start fighting, Character C will come into the room to break off the fight". These are just some ideas. You can either add this directly into the template or even in the Scenario part of figg creation. And to get the best results, I'd suggest reinforcing this behavior with some Example Dialog.
So, let's say that you've put "When {{user}} enters the Green Room, they will be greeted by Character A" + "When {{user}} enters the Yellow Room, they will be greeted by Character B" in your free form/template/scenario. In the Example Dialog, you could add something like:
https://preview.redd.it/dj3oodoqap2d1.png?width=732&format=png&auto=webp&s=9b621e486808fd30ee243722dfe558b6dda883a4
Or for something like my other example "If Character A and Character B will start fighting, Character C will come into the room to break off the fight":
https://preview.redd.it/c1imgkvrap2d1.png?width=722&format=png&auto=webp&s=72d64cdec5f227d3fa5b5dc6ad655048e7827be0
🟣 Last but not least, the most impactful part of figg creation (in my opinion), the 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞. This is the part that the figg seems to adhere to the most, both in information and the way it behaves. The figg always does its best to mimic the writing style in the Greeting Messages (sometimes even m*ore so than the Example Dialog). *
I also want to add a few extra things:
🟣 Character limit: I recommended keeping the Personality part of figg creation (so, where you'd have your template) under 2000 characters.
Small sleepy digression: I say this based on my own testing that drove me crazy when I started using figgs because I was too ambitious and wanted to write the character's entire lore and world building in the Personality. Speaking of this memory that seems so long ago, I am still beyond impressed by how quickly the devs upped their character limit after I made that post!! They're always on a speedrun to improve the quality of this incredible platform. They never cease to amaze me! It was also my first time creating bots, and I've been passionate about it ever since (currently at 169 figgs on my main account and 34 on my strictly NSFW account - not as many as others even in total but still quite a few). It's my new favorite way to channel my creativity~! Can you tell? ;P
🟣 Testing: Before I publish my figgs, I always make them Invite-only (so I pick the option "Anyone with the link" under Visability in the figg creation) and I chat with them and Edit things in the figg creation as I go until I'm satisfied.
The way I test my figgs is not only with my own account but also in Incognito mode. I've noticed that the figg sometimes acts differently if I'm not interacting with it from my own account for some reason, so I do it both ways to get a full idea of how it performs (the difference is not as big as it used to be in the past, but it's still good to check just in case). And if you have friends who might be interested in testing your figgs out for you, that's always the best since they can put them through some very unexpected scenarios. My friends usually bonk my figgs in the head or such silly things, so it's funny (and unexpectedly insightful) to see how the figgs react.
The only way to really get it right is to not get discouraged and keep trying until you get to a point that you're sufficiently satisfied with. Try out every resource that you can find, try wording things differently, ask for help, take a break, do whatever is best for you.
And I think that this concludes my little pointless 'guide' of sorts. It's things that I've probably commented about before and things that I'm sure other creators have also said, but I just wanted to put it all together. If it's of help to anyone, then I'm happy. If not, then I'm sorry for taking up space on the sub, lol. ;u;
Edit: I hate the screenshots, they stick out like a sore thumb but Reddit was messing up the formatting of the Example Dialog and I need it to be accurate to how it's supposed to be written. It kept adding the "\" symbol throughout sentences for some reason, as well as not writing things on a new line like I typed it. \sigh**
submitted by anoncat1997 to FiggsAI [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 06:20 pinpricksinvelvet The Skylar white treatment?

I was born in a small pocket of a big city up north. Single mom and couple siblings, lived with my grandparents most of my life. We didn’t have much and what we did we had by the skin of our teeth really.
I worked really hard, got into a good school, graduated, did an internship and made it out of my hometown! Thrilling!
And then I met my partner. He was like nobody I’d ever met. Audacious in most ways and then he’d surprise me with shyness. Bold and friendly, always making conversation.
We’d had really similar upbringings and had taken total different paths and still found each other. That’s pretty cool!
When we started dating, my mom flipped out. I was in my mid twenties, like fully out of the house, off the insurance type deal. She voluntarily and unexpectedly went no contact with me for two years from a picture. It was painful. But my partner put on a brave face, and he waited it out. Which was another surprise, for me and my mom. He and I drove up and he shook her hand on her property, and they immediately hit it off.
We laughed that day, about how much time she wasted. Look what you’ve been missing!!! He went above and beyond for me in ways people hadn’t before, and that was never lost on me. And I had actually had so much fun. Her loss!
At least now we could play catch up: I was going to be home with him on and off all year for a slew of weddings and accompanying events. You know, as one does when your childhood friends all settle down in the same summer 😀 what could possibly go wrong?
We made it to the first wedding. September. A great time! Someone broke their leg dancing and the dj played them off to evacuate the dance floor? I cannot make this shit up, but these kids share catholic school trauma and we cope with humor. Largely. Usually? I’ll get back to that. My partner and I spent a bit more time with my family, then packed up and drove home. We had just started vending at markets locally and had booked a steampunk event, hoping to find a crossover audience for our art. Neither of us is particularly into steampunk? At all. But he, in particular, fucking hated steampunk. (Seems so extraneous but I swear, this will be important later.)
We were slotted to be back in a few months for the next. And we’d see my family! My aging grandmother, who raised me. My aging dog! Sweet boy! Everything’s okay! I just got the job I’ve been vying for since my move (it’s a glorified carny role and I couldn’t be happier) things are looking up!
On a Friday, I had a panic attack after work. Which, with this new exciting job, was around 3 am. I came home, woke him up, sweaty and crying and stressed out and asked him to wash my hair? Which I had never done. I guess I was just really tired. And he said no, because he had to be up early for a get together with some friends. I cried though about all my fears. My grandma my dog my teeth and he talked me down, like no one else had ever bothered to.
We went to bed late, and I think as a kindness, he left without saying goodbye. I had to work that day, it’s why I wasn’t going along with him.
Then a few hours later, he just died. I say that, not to be crude, just because that’s my concept of how it went.
Communication was so poorly handled by everyone involved and it was so devastating, in retrospect. Genuinely removed my agency from the situation entirely from go. For example, I got the call from family about six hours after the fact, and they had only just received a knock at the door so off to a great start. I got DMs, actually, from people I hardly knew, asking what was going on. And I was like?? You tell me ? You know more than I do if you’re even reaching out, because at this point I haven’t heard from anyone who was at the scene. I had to request a number through Instagram, despite my number— and his mothers— being readily available to them by way of a well-known emergency contact card. Neither of us contacted directly, but people found out through ig somehow. Has never sat right with me. Felt so violating because basically everyone in a 30 mile radius knew what was going on before I was processing that it had happened.
And I knew he died the second I answered the phone. “Are you sitting down?” was a patronizing enough cold open, and the bullshit I was fed about a search was pretty transparent. The circumstances made thing cut and dry, he must be dead. So that’s that.
And he was, but they wouldn’t tell us officially till noon the next day. They found him with sonar 👍 something I wish I didn’t know. Idk why, I just don’t like it much. So impersonal. Not him.
This is where things get complicated and deeply uncomfortable for me. At this point, I’d experienced a lot of devastating loss in my immediate household as a kid. I grew up with disease and morbidity as a constant but not in a weird way? Think Addams? We used to call my grandma morticia, literally. My grandpa was paralyzed from the waist down. TWICE! Because he was drafted after healing his initial spinal cord injury from an auto accident. My family all lived on the same block and my grandfather watched all of us growing up. Which means all of us, at varying ages, watched one of the cousins wither and pass from cancer at 5. My grandma lost the use of her right arm but still had it, limp and swollen. She realearned pretty much everything on her left. We are nothing if not resilient!
And from childhood, I was well accustomed with saying goodbye to people I loved. I didn’t expect people in my life to treat me so differently after this specific death.
And goddamn it I’ve been to my fair share of funerals, if I could do anything for my partner as young widow with Roman Catholic roots, it’s to throw a decent and respectable funerals. With heavy food and good sweets, the butter cookies to distract the kids. And my partner loves funerals— in theory. He collected funereal antiques and oddities (I mean who doesn’t in 2024 am I right? /j?) we have matching his and hers model vaults, they’re out on the porch right now.
They told me to bring pictures. I’m a fine artist and he was self trained, so we had a lot of material and I came stacked to plan with them.
But it was already done. I was sitting his parents and siblings, and his least favorite aunt. I hardly ever saw her, red flag immediately. She is not particularly friendly to me, but she’s smiling. The only one lol.
Tell me why this lady was in charge of decorating, and was so excited about the WAIT FOR IT STEAMPUNK DECOR she picked up at fucking party city for a 35 year old man’s FUNERAL! A man who, in life, vehemently hated steampunk. And I laughed! Hard, because it was genuinely so funny. It is still so funny. Like, even my partner would find that hilarious kinda just by circumstance lol like in retrospect it’s kinda giving camp no? A funeral at the local teamsters hall with generic deli subs, and that aunt taking pictures with friends in the sorority pose for some reason.
This did set a devastating trend of completely bypassing me in any conversation, despite my partner and I sharing a home and bills for years prior to his death. We are not in a common law state and we hadn’t updated our information to reflect otherwise.
I didn’t communicate with the funeral home, I found out after the fact that they made the arrangements without me. The request was that we would receive back one lock of his hair, and his whole beard and his dentures (long story). While we did get the teeth, we only got back a (1) lock of his beard to share 😃 and he was cremated 😃 so that was a fun conversation, again, after the fact.
The GFM, the meal train, the life insurance all went across the street to his family’s house, where it largely stayed for almost whole the first year. Just long enough to burn all of my savings paying all the rent on a lease we signed a month before he died. Coupled with the economy, I’m setback so far on so many levels I feel like genuinely hope it’s but finances are the worst. I was getting regular eviction notices despite constant communication with my complex’s office about the situation, and I was never even technically late on my rent— by contract tenants have til the fourth and I never paid later than hat. Anyway it affected me like mental warfare and now I have crippling anxiety about housing.
His mom did help me, I think on the DL and only after they had remodeled their kitchen and gotten a new puppy. I was able to scrape by and get out, now I’m thriving in a studio with two cats in tow. A great look for a single woman in her thirties! I actually love the studio, and it puts me closer to the city, which I know is better for me opportunity wise (and boy howdy could I use an opportunity lol)
It also puts closer to the people who saw what happened and never had the good sense to tell me like I was a person. These were mostly old buddies, a decent handful of them and I didn’t know them well because my partner just didn’t really run in that circle anymore I guess. But they are all pretty well known in town. And within a few weeks of his death, it got back to me that my name was circling in the zeitgeist.
Over the past few years, it has been proven to me that these people have connections in every avenue of interest, even my profession. That sounds crazy maybe but it is true, mainly because I’m a transplant on their turf. But I moved here for the job? Which I wanted long before I met my partner. Why should I feel pushed out of an arena I fought so hard to play in? It’s been very isolating— I avoid most of the things I used to love because I cannot avoid an awkward run in. Conventions, themed events, even places we like to shop.
Anyway these are the basics but my phone is lagging so bad I almost can’t functionally type so I’m calling it for now... I hope this doesn’t sound too gruff, I’m just trying to live it as it comes. May add some context or anecdotes later. It’s been a wild couple of years and the people I thought would care just don’t seem to. So I appreciate anyone with the wherewithal to read this mess. Thanks.
submitted by pinpricksinvelvet to widowers [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 06:12 Astromillius Not sure if this is a strange question. But has anyone else struggled having a romantic life with Leukemia?

I know this is a bit of a rant and sorry if this is a weird question to ask. But I was curious if anyone else has struggled with dating ever since being diagnosed?
I was diagnosed with Chronic Myeloid Leukemia when I was 16 which was around the same time I was meant to learn to drive. Unfortunately, that didnt happen because when they were trying to figure out what was wrong with me I was in and out of the hospital a ton due to my elevated white blood cell count and suffering from excessive sleep.
I was still going to normal highschool during this time, and it was during the pandemic, so at this point my school had migrated to a really bad online program that I was slowly falling behind in due to my hospitalizations and excessive sleep (not sure what caused it im assuming it was my WBC being out of wack but I dont know I never really asked at the time). After my white blood cell count surpassed 115,000 I actually had a pretty crazy experience when I was at the hospital before getting my bone marrow biopsy, spinal tap, and bone marrow aspiration. Despite the fact we had already emailed all of my teachers (including this one) informing them of what was going on and that I was in the hospital, not even 2 minutes before I was going to be taken to the room where they would do the biopsy, aspiration, and tap we got a pretty rude phone call from one of my teachers. They sounded very angry and asked something along the lines of "Why aren't you doing any work right now?!" I responded by saying "I am currently in the hospital getting tests done to see if I have cancer." And their response in a very rude and condecending tone was to say "Oh, goodluck with that 😒" and then hang up.
I will admit after that experience I was pretty much ready to give up on school (especially because I was already stressed from how much id fallen behind - also for reference this was something that was happening over the course of multiple months) but we will come back to this point later.
Anyways, since I was diagnosed during the pandemic and my immune system was pretty much nonexistant in the beginning of my diagnoses. I couldnt really go out much since both me and my oncologists didnt want to risk me getting covid. So I would become extremely isolated.
To go back to the point I brought up earlier about school I had fallen very far behind. I am not proud to admit it but I was considering dropping out or taking a gap year at that point (even though my school wouldnt allow it because of truency). This didnt happen though, and I was informed of an accellerrated scholarship program at a local college in my area that would let me get college credits and high school credits whilst taking college level classes at the college.
So I applied for that program and got in. The reason I even bring this up is because, this ironically made it even harder for me to have a social life. Lol
Because I was a minor in this program and everyone at this college were adults the school had a very strict rule that said that anyone in the program couldnt be friends with other students at the college, I believe it was because it could open them up to be liable if something bad happened.
So this made it even harder to have meaningful connections with anyone because I was in this program for 4 semesters straight without any gap inbetween whilst also dealing with the bulk of my worst med side effects since this was right after my diagnosis, and whilst doing that I wasnt really even allowed to talk to or interract with anyone I came in contact with at the place I was going to everyday.
Eventually towards the end of this program I would end up in a relationship with someone who was also in the program and not a student at the college but this wouldnt last.
During the first 2 years of having CML I did try online dating for a bit, but my experience with it hasnt been the best. I met this one person we will call "pink haired girl." Eventually we started dating and were together for around 3 months. However, she would eventually just break up with me out of nowhere without an explaination. Eventually, she would reach back out months later to begin talking again, and I asked her if she could tell me why she broke up with me so I could have some closure. She would respond saying "If I tell you you will think I am a bad person." I told her to tell me anyway and she said "I broke up with you because you have cancer."
(That is not even my worst experience I've had by a long shot this is just an example. I am curious if anyone has had a similar one to that one I just mentioned or not. People can be very brutal, and ive had some very bad experiences with ppl whilst dating with CML - I cant even begin to imagine what it may be like for people with other forms of Leukemia.)
Anyways, as of now I have since graduated from that accellerated scholarship program, in fact it allowed me to graduate like a year and a half earlier than I wouldve if I had been in highschool with the benefit of also having college credits. You would think that would be a good thing. But I will admit, things have somehow gotten even worse for me because ever since graduating I have pretty much had no way of meeting new people in real life. So I have even less of a social outlet to meet real people now than I did in that program.
It also doesnt help that I still do not have the best immune system. I have been working on improving myself a lot. I changed my diet and started exercising and I am slowly studying for my permit test so I can begin driving.
I will admit I couldnt think of any other way to meet new people. So I optimistically downloaded Tinder. I have no other way of meeting new people in real life so I figured it was worth a shot so I could at least try to do something to be less isolated.
I havent had any luck meeting actual people who arent just there for you know what so far, and I also dont expect to find anyone sadly.
Due to my immune system still not being the best I still have to wear a mask and be careful of covid. (As you can imagine not many people want to have to covid test themselves before meeting someone unfortunately.) I also can't drive yet (still could use uber though), and I plan to get on an NG Tube soon to help with my weight gain since Ive lost a lot of weight from my meds. Im worried that the NG Tube will also be a big thing that will turn people away and cause people to give weird looks. I am very close to giving up on ever having meaningful connections with anyone in real life at this point. If anyone has any suggestions for what I could try let me know.
Im not sure if anyone else here has had similar experiences, but I figured Id share my experience and see if it resonates with any other people here.
I have a ton of respect for you all, and I hope you all are doing well where ever you may be on your leukemia journey rn. I love you all and think you are all super strong. Please stay safe. 💪💜
submitted by Astromillius to leukemia [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 06:05 totallymycircus Looking for services recommendations

Hey all, thanks for reading. My family and I lived in Western Washington for 20 years, and the SF Bay Area for the last 10. Now leaving California behind and moving back to WA…
We’re buying a house north of Arlington proper, off of Finn Settlement road (a bit north and east of where Pilchuck Creek crosses under Rt 9).
Hoping to get some guidance on who are the best providers of internet (we’re WFH), phone (cell, or landline if cell is bad out here), and potentially cable (though that’s less of a priority if internet is fast and reliable enough).
Any advice or recommendations you’re willing to throw my way would be very much appreciated.
Thanks all!
submitted by totallymycircus to arlingtonwa [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 06:01 Direct-Caterpillar77 I gave my husband an ultimatum, quit his job or I'm leaving (New Update)

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Accurate-Raise6440
I gave my husband an ultimatum, quit his job or I'm leaving
Originally posted to Marriage
Previous BoRU
TRIGGER WARNING: hostile workplace, emotional distress, struggles with physical and mental health, extreme burnout
Original Post May 6, 2024
Let's preface by saying that I love him, I don't want to leave him but I can't keep seeing the man I love killing himself for a company that doesn't value him.
My husband got promoted to Sales Director last year, and we were very happy about it at first. But then his life (and my own) became hell. The company is struggling and is dealing with numerous lawsuit from clients. My husband knew nothing of this when he was brought on as Director.
He works every single fucking day from 8AM and comes home late, even past midnight. Often he works full Saturdays as well. He has lost weight and his hair is already graying. One night he didn't come back home and I panicked. I called his company and they wouldn't tell me where he was. He reached out to me around midday and I learned he had been hospitalized for heart palpitations. Doctors advise him to take more exams because he risks an heart attack.
He is just 36 but looks ten years older. His company uses and abuses him (I heard him talking to his bosses on phone calls, the way those people talk to him...) and he is too beaten down to leave. I'm friend with his deputy director (funny thing, I suspected they were having an affair at first, but she became a great friend for me) and she's actively looking to leave.
We tried to drill this into my husband, to no avail. I have been polite, I have been rude, now I'm just done. I don't want to watch him die.
I gave him the ultimatum: quit this fucking job or I am gone. He is worried about the money, but I work and I can be the breadwinner while he recuperates and looks for a new job. He seemingly took me seriously but for now has not quit, he has taken sick days. And he has really fallen sick now.
I can't take this anymore. I love this man, and I am watching him kill himself for people that wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
Embarrassed_Sky3188
You are right, but he can't hear you right now. Keep pushing. Would it help to have the deputy come over, and they both agree to leave? It's possible they are (appropriately) close (possibly trauma bonded) and he doesn't want to leave her behind.
OOP
We already had this talk with him. She says that if he walks, she's walking with him. He won't budge and says he doesn't want her to lose her job for him.
~
Unfair_Finger5531
I don’t blame you. I don’t like ultimatums, but sometimes they are needed. You can’t just stand by and watch him work himself to death.
I hope he’s at least getting some rest on his sick days.
OOP
I had to take away the phone because they kept pestering him for every little thing. I am angry and I am scared, I can't live like this but I know that if I leave those people might end up killing him.
OOP GIVES A LITTLE UPDATE IN THE COMMENTS
Here's the plan. Tonight his deputy will come over and we will draft their resignations. I decided to take this off my husband's hands, I am quitting his job for him.
We won't forward the resignations right away because first I want to collect proof of the mistreatment and psychological abuse. If my husband gets better I will be all too happy to forget about those people.
But if he has a heart attack or dies, I am suing the crap out of them. I am sitting beside him, he's been sleeping nonstop and I check he's breathing because I am so fucking scared he might die in his sleep. Doctor said it's just a fever but if he's not getting better by tomorrow I am taking him to the hospital.
Those people are killing him.
(Update) I gave my husband an ultimatum, quit his job or I'm leaving May 8, 2024
I thought on it and I am convinced that if I leave, he might literally die, so I decided to take the situation in my hands.
Tonight his deputy director came over and we drafted my husband's and her resignations. We decided to not submit them right away, but to use their emails and accounts to find proof of the company's mistreatments and abuses. They had him work 16 hours a day and pressured him to the point of giving him heart problems. Now he has taken sick leave and barely get out of bed, he just sleeps and I have to check he's breathing because at this point I am scared he might die in his sleep.
The doctor said it's just a fever but there's also physical and mental exhaustion, and he needs to rest. I wake him up to get him to drink some water and eat something. I have to help him get up and walk to the bathroom. Tonight I made it clear he is not going back to the job, and he agreed. His deputy director spoke with him too and told him hearsay is that the company is going to collapse and close down by next fall, so they need to get out now.
There's not much to add. I spent the evening with her and we wrote the resignations and went through his emails, but we didn't find much. I broke down a bit and cried on her shoulder, I am so bottled up I needed to let some out.
That's all for now. I wish to thank everyone whom gave me advice and compassion for our situation. I will be taking care of my husband but I am so angry and sad. Those people destroyed the man of my life,I want to be hopeful but I'm not sure he will go back to how he was before.
Wish us luck.
RELEVANT COMMENTS
hey_nonny_mooses
Best wishes that you can both recover from this. He will need to recover his health and figure out why he was complacent in their abuse. You will have to figure out how to trust your husband not to martyr himself again. I hope you can both heal and perhaps get some counseling.
OOP
Thank you. I don't know when or if I'll trust him to have a healthy work life balance. I made it clear to him he's staying home at least for a month now.

NEW UPDATE

*
Update 2 May 19, 2024
Hi, I'm back with what I think will be my last update.
It's over. We didn't find anything against his bosses or the company, so he forwarded his resignation. I wrote it for him, he just changed a couple of things and then sent it. He also requested for his deputy director to collect his things, but he got no answer yet. The only reply he from all the people he CC'd was from one Dyana, who expressed regret at seeing him go, wished him the best and asked if they could set up an exit interview.
I asked his deputy who this Dyana is, and she told me it's the only one of their corporate overlords who treats her employees like actual people, and she thinks it would do no harm to have an exit interview if my husband feels like it.
As for my husband, he's doing better, not much but he has slightly improved. He still sleeps a lot, but I manage to get him out in the garden for some fresh air. I have also booked blood tests and full check-ups for him, just to be sure.
I made it clear to him, I'm keeping him home this summer. We have enough saved up for the rainy days to live confortably, and I will keep working. Then we'll see. He's a smart man and a very hard worker, I don't doubt he will find a good opportunity in no time.
He's worried and uncertain but I do my best to reassure him and make him feel better. He used to be the rock in our relationship, but now it's my time to step up.
I would like to thank you all for your comments and kindness, on my and my husband's behalf. I know it won't be easy and it will take time, patience and love, but we'll be alright.
THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP
DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7
submitted by Direct-Caterpillar77 to BestofRedditorUpdates [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 05:59 Ivan-Belousov Which config should I get?

Hi ya'll,
I'm planning to upgrade from my 2018 12.9 inch iPad Pro and I'm not sure what config to get. So the 11 inch 1TB Wifi model or 11 inch 512gb Wifi+Cell. I want the smaller 11 inch because it feels better in the hand and I would like to carry it around with me. Also, I'm getting the folio case instead of the magic keyboard because I don't feel like theres a need for it since I have a Macbook Pro. And of course I'm getting the Apple Pencil to take handwritten notes.
Questions:
1. 11 inch 1TB Wifi model or 11 inch 512gb Wifi+Cell (1tb cellular model is not in stock where I live)
2. Does the extra core and ram make a difference? (I will be taking notes, doing video editing, drawing, and some 3d modeling)
3. I'm sure I won't need 1TB of storage (512gb seems like the sweet spot for me), but out of curiosity why do people buy the 1TB model? Do people actually use that much storage on an iPad or its just for the extra specs you get?
4. I'm still not so sure if I should get cellular model or not, It's nice to have a connection at all times but I can just open hotspot on my phone or use wifi. (I wanna carry it around with me and I should have my phone with me 90% of the time, wifi is pretty fast at home)
5. People with the smart folio case, what do you think of it? Is it any good?
submitted by Ivan-Belousov to iPadPro [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 05:58 Ashihei Sexuality Wars… 🩷💜🩵 (story time)

Hello Bi folk of the internet… I have an experience to share…. not really for a specific reason, just because I wanted to share it in a space that, I hope, is kind and understanding. I’m just going to brain-dump from my memory so, here we go…
Eight-ish years ago, I started a shitty new retail job and became instant best friends with my coworker. Her and I, (36 and 23), became the embodiment of friendship soulmates. Instantly we found soulmate level kind of love in one another; confiding our woes, sharing hysterical laughter over the silliest things, engaging in one another’s interests, the gifts, the coffees. We were the purest form of friendship I’ve ever encountered.
During the duration of our workplace friendship, we had a… customer (and I use that term VERY loosely, as their presence in the store was wholly for my friend, no money being spent)… someone who came in quite often to visit with us. Our coworkers were openly active in the LGBTQIA+ community here, so their acquaintances often popped in for a visit. No biggy! This customer however, an older (50’s) M-to-F trans woman, was not like the rest. As soon as she set eyes on my friend, there was no relenting to the constant and vulgar commenting and ‘flirtation’ with her. She was relentless and it made my friend exponentially uncomfortable, understandably. This woman would come in and continually tell her how she wanted to have sex with my friend, how she knew she could ‘convert’ from her hetero ways, for my friend to be the one to take her new ‘trans-virginity’ and what have you, in a magnitude of ways. It was pushy, it was unwarranted and unreciprocated and above all, it was relentless. My friend and I had discussed at length how this made her feel, being a vehemently straight woman. Her soft spoken nature had her hiding in the back room until this person had left, just to not be confronted with the constant harassment. The day her and I both ended up leaving our jobs was a sigh of relief for her, knowing the constant sexuality terrorisim had finally ended.
Although our time at our job had ended, our friendship continued to remain strong and holdfast to the tests of time. My friend had, months prior to our job departure, had confided in me the revelation that she was unhappy with her current partner and their marriage. Not my place to air their marital woes, but long and short of it, she wanted a baby and he did not. They spent months trying to discuss and work out their issues, trying to make things work, to no avail. As time passed, her loyalty wavered and cast her attention elsewhere…
The internet is a funny place. People can be unapologetically alluring via text, like a venomous spider in a web of toxicity, coaxing you in before sinking their poison in, one drop at a time. This is precisely how she came to meet her current partner.
The ex military, Xanax addicted, mentally unstable, narcissistic, abusive, compulsive liar, criminal record toting southerner. He was everything I normally detest in a person, and he was now leechishly attached to my best friend. He spun stories of how much better of a life he could give her, how the first thing he’d do was put a baby in her, how he was so much better than her current husband… he fed her every line in the book, and she drank it down like he was the oasis she was desperately searching the desert to find. From the outside looking in, it was plain to see what he was all about, but for some reason, she was blind to it. Rose coloured glasses tint the world in dangerous ways.
Time passed and he, relentless as ever, chipped away to remove her husband from the picture, the house they owned, and the entirety of the life they had built as high school sweethearts. He spent months painstakingly whittling away at her mentally as well (as abusers do), to shape her into his perfect, passive possession to own and manipulate as he saw fit. She jumped through every hoop to make things work, giving him every penny she had, driving hours to see him for a day and drive all the way back the next, paperwork to bypass his ongoing criminal past haunting their relationship; she did it all, all while he greedily took without a thought or a care. They married, city hall style, before the ink on her own divorce papers had even dried. She endured the time consuming and expensive process of taking his new surname legally as her own. He overtook her life like a disease corrupting the body, one cell at a time.
When it came time for her to express her desire for the child she wanted, the one he had spend months emptily promising, he begrudgingly relented, or so it seemed. There was only so long he could use that as a maneuvering chip, ever looming over their relationship. Confided within our friendship, I was told by her how during intimacy, he would ask if she wanted a baby. Ask her and ask her during the act… making her practically beg… before pulling out and saying not yet. Her womanly clock ticked ominously over her head, making her ache for the family she so desperately wanted to start. Finally, he obliged and she did become pregnant… … only to lose the baby a few months later.
It broke my heart to see her become this diminished caricature of the friend I loved and cherished so deeply. He was little help to her too, often choosing to sleep (I’m assuming because of his drug abuse) or play games as opposed to talking with her when she was with him. She was broken, the “no I slipped and fell down the stairs” demeanour he moulded her into now her only piece of identity. She was heartbroken from the loss of her beloved baby, struggling with the ability to cope. I stood by her, a friend willing to do whatever in the absence of her partner, to make sure she was ok. When she was struggling, I was there either in person or on the phone, taking her to the hospital in a time of crisis, being there the best I could. His record kept him physically away, but sadly, his hooks locked in deep within her broken psyche, ever festering and refusing to relinquish its filthy grip. As their relationship simmered and she healed as much as she could from the loss. I could see her trying to repair slowly, no thanks to him, and move past her despair. Then, unexpectedly, it happened for her again. She was pregnant! I was happy for her, so happy to see her becoming a mother, her dream! Despite the bond it would weave between her and him, she was finally going to become the mother she was always meant to be. We talked of her baby, the nicknames we had for them, the future she hoped for them and how I would be an aunt of sorts; our bond was so deep and I was so happy to be there to share this with her. I was able to come to her ultrasounds, which thrilled me to the core. I remember seeing the baby for the first time with her, tearing up with delight for her… until I was told her partner didn’t want me, in particular, to be there. He didn’t want me to have any part of the pregnancy, to know the gender, names, nothing. For a time, he knew I had his number, could see the abuse he inflicted on my friend, both mentally and physically. With abusive men it seems, when they see someone who can see past their facade, well that made me enemy no. 1 in his eyes. He tried his damnedest to keep us apart, telling her I was a bitch and that I didn’t like him (which was true), and how I was intentionally coming between them, trying to split them up. He’d withhold attention from her when she was there, as a sort of sick punishment for associating with me. She as no longer allowed to talk to me, she couldn’t post anything about me or us, get upset when I was mentioned. He knew I knew exactly what he was doing and was scared I would show her the way out. When I couldn’t get ahold of her on one of her trips down to see him, I had messaged him asking if she had made it ok. He had red the message, I had seen it, but he claimed I didn’t message at all. I showed her upon returning, now seeing I had been blocked by him. Tensions were rising and I knew, when I was told I specifically was not to be involved with their child and her as little as possible (despite the criminal record keeping him at a distance), I knew our days as friends were numbered. To his credit, I did try to explain how toxic things were with them. When the fights became vile, leaving her crying in the back room at work because he was refusing to talk to her, i told her this wasn’t normal with a partner. I tried, all while trying to maintain our cherished friendship, to show her she was being abused.
Now comes the relevancy to this post being in this specific group… Her and I were close, messaging often, talking daily, told one another “I love you”, we had matchy tattoos done together, we knew nearly every facet about one another, had gone bra shopping together; we were the best of friends. FRIENDS.
With his oh so pleasant ‘southern charm and point of view’ on the world (racist, sexist and vile), he didn’t take too lightly to homosexuality. Constantly she would tell me how embarrassed she was when they went out and he would see a same sex couple; “who let the fucking f***ots in here?!” Knowing my friend, the constant harassment she endured at our former place of employment, he knew exactly how to drive a wedge in irreversibly deep; deep enough to cleave us apart entirely. “She’s just a dirty cunt of a lesbian, looking to fuck you the first chance she gets. That’s why she’s hanging around you with the ‘I love you’ all the fucking time, trying to break us up. She wants you for herself.”
Like the falling of the executioners axe, it was done. The talking daily stopped, the sentiments of love ceased. It was night and day with her. I could see after that, after the public Facebook comments he had made about me under photos of my friend and I together, after that comment, she had changed. He had won.
I remember crying during one of the truly last times we had spent together, before she packed up and moved her life down south with him… I had cried so hard knowing that this was going to be it for us. It was like watching a beloved creature wither and die in your arms. You want to stop it, you care so deeply and can’t fathom the thought of living without it… all while knowing that there’s not a damn thing you. An do. He had weaponized sexuality against me, not even knowing who I was or a fractal about our friendship. She hadn’t been aware of my bisexuality; I hadn’t truly known how deep it was in me back then either, but it certainly wasn’t something I wanted to share with her after her experience with the trans woman at work. I didn’t see my friend like that. I loved her so deeply, on a soul level, and cherished the friendship we had. Unwittingly, he had taken a part of me that I didn’t realize was more potent than it was and was buried so deep inside me, and made it a vile weapon of manipulation.
I’m scared now in my current friendships to be honest about who and how I am. My current partner, the first person whom I’ve ever told outright that I am bisexual, knows and has been beyond supportive. My friends though… none know out of my own fear of losing the friendships I currently have. I know with true friendships, they would accept me for me now… but the heartache of this whole experience, has terrified me into hiding this vital part of me. My mother and family could never accept it, and I know that… but now, in my 30’s, I desperately wish to own this part of me, wearing it with pride as opposed to hiding in fear.
I guess I just wanted to share this here, as my first step into owning who I am out loud, despite the fear and (wrongly) infused shame. I am bisexual, and I’m not hiding anymore…
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Just wanted to… share my story, if not wholly, but a part. If anyone else out there is being shamed, just know it’s ok to be exactly who you are. You owe nothing, not a thing, to anyone but yourself. Live and let live, those who love you truly, will be wholly by your side, despite what the other think or say.
🩷💜🩵
submitted by Ashihei to bisexualadults [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 05:56 Ivan-Belousov Which iPad Pro (M4) config should i get?

Hi ya'll,
I'm planning to upgrade from my 2018 12.9 inch iPad Pro and I'm not sure what config to get. So the 11 inch 1TB Wifi model or 11 inch 512gb Wifi+Cell. I want the smaller 11 inch because it feels better in the hand and I would like to carry it around with me. Also, I'm getting the folio case instead of the magic keyboard because I don't feel like theres a need for it since I have a Macbook Pro. And of course I'm getting the Apple Pencil to take handwritten notes.
Questions:
1. 11 inch 1TB Wifi model or 11 inch 512gb Wifi+Cell (1tb cellular model is not in stock where I live)
2. Does the extra core and ram make a difference? (I will be taking notes, doing video editing, drawing, and some 3d modeling)
3. I'm sure I won't need 1TB of storage (512gb seems like the sweet spot for me), but out of curiosity why do people buy the 1TB model? Do people actually use that much storage on an iPad or its just for the extra specs you get?
4. I'm still not so sure if I should get cellular model or not, It's nice to have a connection at all times but I can just open hotspot on my phone or use wifi. (I wanna carry it around with me and I should have my phone with me 90% of the time, wifi is pretty fast at home)
5. People with the smart folio case, what do you think of it? Is it any good?
submitted by Ivan-Belousov to ipad [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 05:50 GdUpFromFeetUp100 I feel fooled from jason

so as i understand it, jason is the main point of contact for shitter because he has exclusive rights to Super U1s and offers the miyota movement upgrade. Now I ask myself if I only want the minghzu movement anyway, are there no better places to go than Jason? Possibly better price and better customer service?
I have only heard good things here and ordered from him, in the end he sent me a QC that was so bad I couldn't recognize it, then he printed my cell phone number on the package even though I said several times that I didn't want it and we had previously agreed that he would split my order, now I found out that he sent everything in one. Now he "screams" at me when I ask why he did that. That's 0 stars for customer service for me.
I heard that Aaron apparenlty is way more friendly and that he is the contact you want to talk to when ordering from Jason.
Can someone more experienced give me a few tips?
Ps: about the Miyota and Minghzu Movement, as far as I understand there is no real difference in quality as it is more a matter of luck which one lasts longer. Can anybody confirm this? is the upgrade worth it?
Jason told me the mingzhu is 70 dollar for Datejust and 125 for miyota.
submitted by GdUpFromFeetUp100 to ChinaTime [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 05:23 Abignothingworm Calling all AZ fans and Bundle buyers

Calling all AZ fans and Bundle buyers
When my husband and I went to go see Zheani at her Phx show we were pretty far from the stage due to my husbands disability and my videos are crud! If anyone has footage up close from that show please send here or dm me!
Also! Those of you who purchased the Spiritual Meat Grinder bundle release with the Single slide from the Pathetic waste video and personal Polaroid, IF you feel comfortable sharing, I am SUPER curious as to who got what. I don’t want to dig through stuff for the Pathetic Waste slide, here’s a photo of my Polaroid I got! I put in in a Yughio card sleeve and in my phone case. Sadly my pop socket covers her signature 😅
submitted by Abignothingworm to ZheaniCult [link] [comments]


2024.05.26 05:16 vanilla_shaker First time going through TSA, I don’t know what to do?

Hi folks. I’m going to be flying for the first time since I was in grade school. I don’t know what the proper procedures are in terms of TSA and what they want to inspect. I will have a carry-on and a personal item with me. The carry on is a small luggage that just contains clothes (tshirts, pants, underwear, socks, etc), and my personal item is just a small backpack that will have my work laptop + charger, blindfold (it will be a red eye flight), advil, and nasal spray. My pockets will probably be cell phone, wallet, keys, and then I have my apple watch. What should I expect to take out? Do i have to take out my clothes from my luggage? Thanks!
submitted by vanilla_shaker to NoStupidQuestions [link] [comments]


http://activeproperty.pl/