Fioricet taken with adderall xr

i’ve been on adderall since 2016 or so. started at 5mg xr and made my way up to 20mg xr and have been taking that dose since probably around 2018 or 2019. it’s been very effective until probably about a year or so ago. i always felt it “kick in” before, i could feel my heart start beating a little more, the background noise inside my head got quieter, and i felt way more compelled to get shit done. now, i feel almost nothing. it’s been that way since the shortage. after the shortage was over, and the meds started rolling into pharmacies again, i no longer feel like it’s working. maybe they changed the formula, or maybe im going crazy. i’ve taken tolerance breaks before. usually a week or two, and i felt like it worked better after the breaks. with the shortage, i went almost a whole year without it and it just feels like it’s not working.
is anybody else feeling like this? or does anybody have any recommendations?? i’m about to start up college again and im worried i will not be able to focus how i need to focus without drowning myself in caffeine.
side note, i have the kind of ADHD where im thinking about multiple things at once and also have two songs in my head at the same time. listening to lectures while that is happening in my brain is very very very difficult. and adderall used to quiet the brain noise, but now it does not.

36M, DX of Ankylosing Spondylitis and ADHD. Meds: Lyrica, Adderall 30mg XR in AM, propranolol 20mg twice daily, Tramadol PRN, Celebrex. No recreational drugs or Alcohol.
Flew from DC to SEATAC yesterday, when I got to my hotel and I took my socks off I noticed I have 2 sores on each of the insides of my ankle. Also, my ankles are mildly swollen. What is this?
For the last 6 months my left big toe has been intermittently painful, and in early April the nail cracked in half, it stopped being painful, but it seems to randomly get swollen and painful and I’m curious if it has anything to do with these ulcers? As well have been having chronic pruritus that is increased with body temp rising and hot water exposure. All over body, but ears, scalp, abdomen, and legs most affected.
Both hurt significantly. PCP had me and several different antibiotics for the big toe, but it never did anything so we assumed it was inflammation. A1C and glucose is normal. Low anion gap at 2 consistently, raised CRP 5-28, elevated CH50 complement levels, low BUN/Creatinine ratio for 2 months at 5 and 7. Slightly elevated Kappa/Lamda ratio at 2.4
Thanks for your time. See link to pics
https://imgur.com/olEHjkV
https://i.imgur.com/mqwkh2Z.jpeg
https://i.imgur.com/JYTkl1C.jpeg

33f 145lbs 5'3 depression-ADHD - wellbutrin/Adderall - birth control (none) - was tri-lo Estaryella in January for one month. Hated it and stopped mid cycle. Prior to this periods were on a very consistent 28 day cycle, very mild, no cramps and lasted 5 days each time.
Tldr - I messed up my menstrual cycle and I'm trying to determine when to fix it.
I've got an interesting circumstance to figure out. In January my body rejected a copper iud after 2 weeks of it being in (i got RSV and literally coughed so violently that my body rejected the iud).
I went on tri lo estaryella for basically a month and went off it because it made me feel sick as hell. Since February, I haven't had a period. I've taken three pregnancy tests two weeks apart each and all are negative. Also my husband hasn't been able to be intimate due to his neck injury so there's not a whole lot of chances anyways for pregnancy over the past few months so I'm not too concerned. I know my issue is because I screwed with my hormones with the oral contraceptive.
I'm trying to determine when to treat this. In June I have a vacation that's really special to me that I'm going on. I don't want my period to finally arrive and ruin my time (it's a camping trip... 🐻). I'm assuming the treatment will be a progesterone pill. The trip is June 19th to the 24th.
My questions are....
If I treat this now, will I have some horrible period that last for weeks until the trip? Will it be like 3 months worth of crazy mood swings and an angry uterus?
If I wait until after the trip, am I putting my body through more issues vs if I were to get my periods to a regular cycle?
Could this lack of periods be why I'm so bloated lately? And why I've been so blah moodwise... some days I have a shorter temper but still nothing bad... will treating it now cause my temperament to be affected hormonally come my trip in June?
In your professional opinions, is it better to treat now or can i wait until July to finally reset my very confused hormones?
Thank you :)

I feel deeply judged by my psych when I ask to up my meds, and I can’t figure out if it’s my RSD or if I should just get a new psych?
35, mom of a neurodivergent child, discovered I had AuDHD while educating myself about my daughter’s ADHD diagnosis. I was diagnosed last year by my Psych, who previously had kept telling me it was just social anxiety and depression. After trying wellbutrin for a while with out success, she very grudgingly put me on 20mg adderall XR which I felt relief from initially, but quickly adjusted to, and am still dealing with a lot of my ADHD symptoms. I’ve had two appointments now where I’ve indicated wanting a higher dose, and she basically down plays my concerns every time.
My daughter sees one of the best pediatricians on the east coast for ADHD, and I’ve been lucky enough to receive a lot of helpful guidance on what an effective dose of meds should look like in action. I know mine is not cutting it — it wears off by 2pm, and I crash haaard, and I struggle with my working memory and staying on task even in the hours the meds should be fully functional.
Is asking for a higher dose crazy? I have no history of substance abuse, but I feel like she thinks I’m just chasing a high or something.

This will be a bit long so there will be a tl,dr at the end if you don't want to read all of it. I'm new at this so bear with me.
Bit of background about myself I [18F] have diagnosed combination type ADHD though for my entire life my doctor has recommended I be tested for Autism and my school has always been saying that I have Autism for as long as I can remember. I have never been emotionally attached to my parents while I am grateful for all they have done for me I have just never been attached to them like I would care if they were gone. When I was in elementary school I was a very hyper child and I was not well behaved at all due to this in kindergarten my teachers would often tell me to go off to another part of the room away from everyone else and give me things to play with so that I would be distracted and they could teach the rest of the class without me disrupting them so I would pretty much be isolated from everyone else. I have been in special needs classes since kindergarten and I have only been put on medication for my ADHD once which was when I was 8 but I was taken off it by my parents as it turned me into a "zombie" I believe the medication was Adderall but other than that I have been unmedicated for ten (10) years. My parents have been married 18 years, I believe they got married because my mother became pregnant with me
I discovered that my mother was cheating on my father about two (2) or three (3) months ago though I had been suspecting it for over six (6) months I just never had any solid proof until two (2) to three (3) months ago. Recently I had my friend send my father the proof of my mother's affair that I have collected but to my surprise after they talked for around 15 about it their relationship has improved significantly compared to how it's been for over a year. This all started in 2023 my mother began constantly face timing this guy we'll call P I had never seen before whenever my father wasn't around when I asked about it she said P was just a friend and so I believed her and I had even spoken to the guy though he didn't sit well with me as he seemed like a prick. After about a month of my mother constantly on the phone with P whenever my father wasn't around I began to wonder if there was more to this, so I began listening in on their conversations whenever I could to see if I could hear anything that indicated that was an affair but I never got anything out of it besides lewd jokes and comments from P about black women. During this time she was giving my father zero affection and had even stopped telling me that she loved me even I said it to her.
Eventually I got fed up with them constantly talking to each other and I was very angry with my mother for taking me and my three (3) year old brother to the park for as she called it "family time" only for her to be off on her own away from us and on her phone the entire time texting and face timing P and even flat out ignoring me numerous times whenever I tried to talk to her or asked her to watch me do something, this upset me because I like getting attention from others and she had denied me that. So after I was fed up with them I went off on my mother for the first time ever while she on the phone with P and said some not nice things to her and said not nice things about P, I also brought up my suspicion of her having an affair which she denied and when I pressed her about why said lied to me about things regarding P such as where he lived, how she knew him, why she only ever called him whenever my father wasn't around, and why she started talking to him she told me it was because she "wasn't allowed to have friends" which is not true she has many friends many of which I know. After that all happened I stopped talking to her for a while and she stopped calling him whenever I was around and I began to wait for opportunities for when I could take her phone and go though it as I knew her password. I couldn't just wait for her to go to bed as she is a light sleeper and my father goes to bed a different times from her so he would see me and question me as to why I was taking her phone or she would end up waking up and question me so I had to wait for when she left her phone unattended which wasn't very often.
Two (2) months ago I was able to swipe her phone and go though it and it was all right there. I love you's, naked pictures, sexual conversations, talk of divorcing my father for P and taking my brother with, and I made sure to get plenty of pictures of it and I even found out that on a trip she took to "Ohio" in which is paid 300$ for plan tickets to and from she had actually not went there and instead went to the state P lives, I also found P's Facebook where he had pictures of himself with my mother together and the dates the pictures were posted and the date my mother left for her trip matched up, during that trip she had actually never even called back home to talk to me, my father, or my brother. For a while after I confirmed my mother was cheating on my father I blamed myself because P asked me if I was okay with him talking to my mother (This was when I still though he was just her friend) and I said I was and it made me feel like I was the one that allowed this to happen but I realized it wasn't my fault and the only one to blame was my mother. After my mother returned from her trip she had actually wanted to have sex with my father for the first time in a while though I suspect she only did it because she had sex with P and wanted to do it with my father in case she became pregnant though I have no evidence to prove this but I do know that birth control does not work for my mother as when she conceived me, my sister, and my brother she was on birth control same as her mother though take that with a grain of salt as my mother is terrible at taking medication at the same time everyday. After that I began to plan out what to do, I didn't care about what would happen to me if they got divorced I was thinking of how I could try and get this to work out best for my brother. My at the time boyfriend had gone though a similar situation as to what I was going though, his mother cheated on his father and divorced him and ran away with her affair, leaving behind her children and leaving her ex-husband in lots of debt from legal fees. I didn't want that to happen to my father so I talked with my at the time boyfriend and my friends as for what I should do and I also looked into what the divorce laws in my state which my state does not count adultery as grounds for divorce.
Eventually I got another chance to go though my mother's phone and it was more of the same old stuff but in one part she told P that she was in the process of filing some kind of legal paperwork and P seemed excited about that there was also a "protected files" thing on her phone that needed a password to get into but since it wasn't the same password as the one to her phone I couldn't get it. Once I saw that I knew I couldn't wait any longer and I had my friend send my father the proof though a burner phone number so none of it was connected me and they wouldn't know I had all of the evidence then I waited for him to confront my mother. It didn't take long for that to happen as soon as she came home from work he was on her about it but he never raised his voice or showed any kind of aggression towards my mother they just calmly talked for about 15 minutes. During so my mother never showed any kind of regret or remorse, she never even said sorry mostly just saying "believe what you want to believe" she told my father that he was just a friend from high school (Though I think there is more to it than that) and that he was obsessed with her and wanted her to divorce my father for him and even her parents where egging her on to do it but she said she didn't want to give up her family and home just to start all over and that if she wanted to leave she would have already left, but that doesn't really make sense to me as if you cared so much about your family and the life you built then wouldn't you show some kind of emotional response when all of that was threatened? she also implied that the lewd pictures she had sent P he had paid her to send them. After they finished talking they hugged and carried on with their day like nothing had happened and they have been doing things they hadn't done in years, cuddling in bed together, kissing, and hugging. Today I checked my mother's phone again and it seems she has stopped talking to P all together and doesn't even have him as a friend of Facebook anymore and I can't find their messages on Facebook messenger anymore though I doubt she really stopped.
TL,DR: My mother cheated on my father but after exposing her cheating to my father their relationship began to improve, I want to try and fix my relationship with my mother for the sake of my brother but I don't know how to go about it
While their relationship is improving my relationship with my mother is in the trash I have told her to stop talking to me or doing anything with me period as I despise cheating but I would like to attempt to fix my relationship with my mother because I want to be in my brother's life and I feel if things between me and my mother sour she will prevent me from being around him and I plan on moving out as soon as I am able to. I have two (2) older half sister's 21 and 25 respectively (Same father different mother) but I don't get to see them much since they have their own lives and one of them even has her own family, my mother also doesn't like them and I feel she played a role in keeping me from seeing them when I was growing up and I have one (1) younger sister that was put up for adoption though it is an open adoption so I still see her every now and then, I have never been able to form any kind of relationship with my siblings as I never grew up with them and I scarcely saw them during my childhood but my brother is the only one I have been able to be with long-term and I want to be able to build a relationship with my brother as he grows up and I believe fixing my relationship with my mother will help me be able to do this. I want to be able to fix things between me and my mother for my brother but at the same time I don't want to reveal that I was the one that caused her little affair to get exposed as I feel that will damage our relationship even more. How should I approach mending things with her without damaging things further? I don't believe cheaters should be given a second chance with the person they cheated on but I want to fix things between me and mother at least temporarily for my brother.

Hello. I’m 41 and recently got diagnosed with ADHD. It felt like a huge relief, like maybe I’ll be able to finally function like an actual human.
My psychiatrist prescribed me 36 mg of Concerta. On day 2 of it, I literally couldn’t stop sobbing for hours and felt like I had done speed without any euphoria. My blood pressure and heart rate were also high. He now has me on 5 mg of Ritalin, taken twice a day. I am so tired I can barely function- I stayed in bed all day and my ADHD symptoms feel even worse.
I know everyone reacts differently to medication. I remember a friend giving me Adderall a long time ago and I felt amazing (this was obviously way before I was diagnosed). I feel weird telling my doctor that since it was a friend’s prescription and I don’t want to seem like I’m fishing for amphetamines. Also that was a long time ago and I don’t know if I’d have the same reaction. I’m really hoping that after a couple more weeks of Ritalin-style meds making me feel worse that he’ll try another route. Would love to know other’s experiences with inattentive ADHD and medications.
Thanks!

People with ADHD are especially prone to claim this. Yet a stimulant is a stimulant. It's not like it becomes a sedative magically because someone has ADHD. Plus, one has to think many cases of ADHD are misdiagnosed due to so many other disorders potentially presenting very similar symptoms, but ADHD being a more salient disorder often results in that diagnosis. But it still helps those people. A stimulant is going to help anyone focus better, and at high doses will cause a feeling of increased energy and mood elevation. I haven't seen any evidence that the brains are so utterly different between ADHD vs. not that somehow a big increase in dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin isn't going to cause similar effects in both groups.
I say this as someone who was diagnosed with ADHD at age 9. But I feel like many of my fellow ADHDers simply want to feel more justified in being the ones that "deserve" stimulants more. In reality, stimulants help most people to an extent and make them feel good. Hence why the most common use in the past was for depression. I think they should be more widely prescribed for a wider range of reasons.
The DEA is very puzzling in that it has some drugs that aren't harmful at all as schedule I, and benzos are schedule iv vs. schedule ii for stimulants, but I think benzos are FAR more harmful. Methylphenidate being scheduled the same as amphetamines is also a joke. It's so much weaker than amphetamine, far less prone to cause addiction, and works in different ways. I could understand keeping adderall schedule ii, but Methylphenidate should be schedule iv. I've taken most stimulants in my life, and I've also taken modafinil/armodafinil. Modafinil is schedule iv but seems far more potentially addictive than XR formulations of Ritalin.

I have taken Adderall and Vyvanse before and they help immensely, but I’ve never had a prescription and I don’t feel comfortable telling my doctor I’ve taken them without a prescription but after asking my doctor to please help treat my ADHD that I just got properly diagnosed with. My doctor recommended Q. I’ve been reading on here and it seems like it brings you the opposite direction of a stimulant is that true?how common is the heartburn and nausea because I cannot tolerate anymore heartburn and nausea and I’m anxious about starting medication.

For context, I'm ND and 40 years old, and had my gallbladder removed about five years ago. My whole life, I've never been hungry when I wake up, and tend to be either repulsed by food first thing, or just can't make myself eat until I'm actually hungry later in the day.
Over the course of the last six months or so, I've been waking up actually hungry, with increasing frequency. I know it's such a small thing, but it's seriously throwing me off, bc it's starting to mess up my sleep by waking me up way before I need to be up. I've taken to eating a light snack before bed and it helped for a little while, but lately I've been waking up ravenous, so I'm not sure if the snack is making it worse, or just not putting enough of a dent in it. And the thing is, once I eat, I'm not even a little bit hungry for the rest of the day. I've taken Adderall for my ADHD for years, and this has never been an issue until recently.
This is just really puzzling to me, and my doctor hasn't found anything concerning about my sugar levels, so I can't help but wonder if this is another one of those oddities of perimenopause. And every time I try to ask the doc about these little oddities, he seems like a deer in headlights when I suggest it might be peri related...so I'm assuming that this is one of the few areas of medicine that he's not confident in. Anyone else deal with something similar, or have some tips for good snacks before bed that will help me stay full longer?

For context: 23F, bipolar disorder 1 (stable w meds), now seeking treatment for ADHD. Other disorders diagnosed as well but irrelevant.
I got my official diagnoses when I was 21. Everything finally made sense. Started treatment for bipolar disorder and am officially stable. Now currently treating ADHD.
If you don’t know, stimulants can cause hypomanic/manic episodes in individuals with bipolar disorder. Stimulants are widely discouraged if the patient isn’t taking a mood stabilizer and/or antipsychotic. (This is also true for antidepressants as well).
Now that I’m medicated and stable for that, we tried Strattera first. The starting dose didn’t help, and the second dose made me so incredibly nauseous I couldn’t even work. Now we’re trying guanfacine. I’ve heard it makes you super groggy even when taken at night. I already struggle tremendously with low energy and low motivation.
Prior to my diagnosis, I had taken Adderall XR in my teens. Obviously, it worked as intended rather than make me speed. That is what led to my self-diagnosis. My brain was just… quiet. It’s like all the tabs closed and the radios turned off and I could have one singular thought at a time. If I thought about something I needed to do, I just got up and did it. No pep talk. No procrastination. No beating myself up because I just simply couldn’t. I just did it.
I haven’t told my psych about the adderall because.. ya know. Illicit use still. But I’m getting tired of this trial and error (I was previously medicated for MDD and bipolar 2 for roughly 10 years before my bipolar 1 diagnosis) with medications, and I know that Adderall at least helps. But I also can’t afford to come across as drug seeking. ADHD is really starting to impact my job and my personal life. I have a husband, a toddler, two cats, work full time, college part time starting in the fall, etc.

Been steadily increasing adderall dose with my Dr. on a bi-monthly (every 2 months) basis, starting at 5 and working up to 10, then 12.5s, then finally up to 15.
But the entire duration of my 2-3 weeks of taking 15's had been completely miserable, my head was all over the place constantly, unable to focus, mood was completely unstabilized unlike previous doses and I felt like I was back in my old ADHD ways pre-medication. I wasn't consuming any new foods, or anything that could have affected how the medication absorbs in my body but the entire time it felt like I had never taken the dose in the first place.
I ended up messaging my Dr. about it and they agreed to switch me back to 12.5's to see if that would fix my issue and when taking them I immediately felt a return to normal like all my previous doses.
Has increasing your dosage of ADHD medication ever done the complete opposite and just sent you feeling like you were back to square one? Is this a common occurrence with ADHD medication?

I’m not even sure that this is the correct question to ask, but I’m going to roll with it.
I’ve been with my fiancé for four years now, she’s always known the I’ve had severe social anxiety and we’ve just dealt with it together rather well until recently.
Pre-diagnoses- I’ve been known to have panic attacks/meltdowns when doing something new or unfamiliar, and it’s recently started fights because she’s gotten in this “it’s never going to get better if you don’t get out of your comfort zone” mentality. At this point I didn’t know what AvDP was, had no idea I had it, and I had just thought it was super bad social anxiety, so I would go and try to get out of my comfort zone. In theory this made sense, but it would just end in a train wreck because I’d have a panic attack which would start yet another fight.
And then I got the strength to find a psychiatrist.
Surprise! You have Severe Inattentive ADHD and AvDP 🥰
Post diagnoses - Adderall has taken a little bit of the edge off of my anxiety and everything makes sense to me now. I cruise this sub and relate to people in ways I’ve never, ever seen before, and it feels unreal to know that I’m not alone in how fucked my brain works.
But
Her view hasn’t changed. We’ve talked about how this is an actual personality disorder and not just something that I can get over by going to the store alone once or twice to “face the fear.” She says she understands and is supportive until I get uncomfortable in a situation and start panicking, and the support just seems to disappear and turn into anger and resentment, and that has to be one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced.
Is there a way you’ve found to discuss your AvDP with your partner in a way they could understand and maybe relate to? I’m starting to be at a loss here.

I was diagnosed with adhd and have had trouble with providers that weren’t “comfortable” prescribing controlled substances. I had to switch providers just to actually start treatment.
I am currently on Bupropion (300mg) and Methylphenidate (40mg) but I still feel shaky/restless/ anxious, won’t stop bouncing my legs or doing rocking motions trying to relax in bed. Going to sleep is a pain because I can’t stop my mind from thinking.
Paying attention during tasks that I hate doing like practicing my driving has improved, I definitely don’t space out as much and don’t tense my body as much but I still do and it’s scary because I could get someone really hurt and I don’t mean to.
I have used adderall before (partying with a girl who had ADD. When I didn’t get high and instead started focusing on sorting the card game we were playing she said I most likely had ADHD which prompted me to seek diagnose and treatment.) and it worked to make my mind quieter and focus on the tasks I had to do. Hell, I even enjoyed doing said tasks.
Because of previous providers denying even the possibility of me getting an adderall prescription now I’m really scared and anxious that when I ask for it if I do ask I will be treated as a “seeker” and not taken seriously.
Any advice? Should I just come clean and tell my psychiatrist that I have used adderall before and that’s the reason I want to take it?
TIA.
Edit: I also want to add that I am able to have off days from Ritalin and most of the times I sort of use it as needed (I don’t know if this is a thing but I don’t like that it makes my personality dull and sometimes bitchy.) when I have a lot of things to do in the day or if I have to drive.

Told my psych being on 10 mg of Lex and 20 mg adderall XR, my test/school anxiety + public speaking abilities had me off the rails.
Was talking to my dermatologist the other day who was sharing insight about stupid summer plans, and I couldn’t even think of a response or say anything besides one word and I hate it. No thoughts head empty feeling locked up.
At first my psychiatrist was talking about trying propanonol, which I was so happy about until he mentioned doubling my dose and decided to go that route again.
Time will tell the best result, but I feel like I’m missing out now on obliviating my anxiety but also know Prop is something to be used on an “as needed” and some days my anxiety is better than others.
Anyone on similar experience? Anyone agree with doubling Lex? Anyone say Propanonol is their holy grail? Ik combination of both is a possibility too, any insights will help alleviate me

Backstory: Before having my kids I nannied full time for years. I drove the kids to classes, took them places daily, and had no stress or fear or depression. I was truly happy. Important to note, I have ADHD and was on 54mg of concerta at this point.
After some significant life changes happened I began working downtown in a really bad area and I worked nights with no issues. My doctor switched me to 50mg of adderall shortly after this and I went into psychosis and had to quit taking any form of ADHD medication.
Covid shutdown happened, and I never felt more relief, happiness, or sense of safety in my life. It was one of the last times I remember consistently feeling happy every single day. I developed hobbies and just felt so at peace. When things reopened I went back to work downtown and my husband and I found out we were expecting. Everything started changing at this time and my anxiety got so bad I quit my job. *something did happen that caused me to quit that was very traumatic - a man out of his mind on drugs broke into our work with a weapon and destroyed everything and I had to run to the bathroom and hide and I thought he was going to kill me. I pressed charges but the police sent him to the hospital and he was released and because he was homeless nothing happened.
I had my first child and within weeks it was like my entire personality switched. I developed extreme OCD, anxiety, horrible depression, constant crying, fear of leaving the house alone, complete fear of driving, and starting having intense daily rumination about my childhood traumas or any sort of interaction that felt "negative." I had to go on Lexapro, stayed on it for a few months and then quit taking it because it was quieting my OCD and made me have no desire to clean or do anything.
Around the time my child was 1 year old things started to go back to normal, I was leaving the house a lot, and feeling a lot better. 2 years passed and we got pregnant with our second child. When second child was born, I had no postpartum depression and I thought I was past what I had gone through. Around the time second child was 4 months old everything restarted and it's been worse. I physically cannot leave the house alone, I can't drive without my heart racing and my hands going completely wet. I will do anything to avoid leaving the house alone. I wait for my husbands days off or a family member to have availability to go anywhere. Anything we need from the store I get through order delivery or pickup. When I drive, it's like I can't remeber any rules of the road and I have an intense fear that I will be pulled over and taken to jail for driving badly. I have had 2 tickets in my life, this is an unrealistic idea but it's so intense I can't override it with logic.
I am curious if anyone with similar experiences had a success with wellbutrin.

I have a strange issue where I go through these periods of waking up too early - like 6-7 hours after bed and it kills me because I KNOW I need sleep.
Unquestionable N2 diagnosis in 2016, dealt with a loooot of imposter syndrome and have been medicated consistently since 2021.
Basically I wake up early, crave more sleep and lie there in that weird REM/awake zone, but everytime I start to drift off my arms and legs get so uncomfortably tingly and spasm. I know this is a rem/sleep paralysis kind of thing, and doesn't feel like RLS because it doesn't last. My body just jerks awake every time I start falling back asleep and it's TORTURE. plus I get all these very confusing lucid dreams just in my room and it's allllll messed up haha.
I take Armodafinil and Adderall XR 20mg (I take that one in the afternoon and don't have trouble falling asleep bc I sleep around 1am). I'm also on Lexapro and Lamictal for BP and just stopped Wakix and Sunosi a few days ago, but this has been an issue my whole life.
Lexapro 20mg morning, Armodafinil 150 morning, Lamictal 150 morning and 100 around 2pm (it's activating for me), Adderall around 12-1
Thankfully I know to take long naps to make up for it, but it's really inconvenient and feels awful. I wake up not only feeling like a groggy human piece of garbage (lol) but I know it exacerbates everything else and makes work really difficult.
I feel like I'm an outlier here. Anyone else struggle with this?
Side bar: I'm generally very good and lifestyle treatment. I eat low carb, intermittent fasting bc it works great for me, no food 3-4 hrs before bed, strict sleep hygiene with extreme, goody blue light glasses everyone makes fun of me for and no screen time, I do meditation and yoga and exercise and all the things. So it's not anxiety or anything like that. Pls don't tell me to cut carbs haha I already do.

Trigger Warning : suicide. Backstory to give context; 34f, I was recently diagnosed. I started seeking out therapy 3 years ago, I've displayed all the adhd symptoms, but I guess because of my age/gender adhd hasnt occurred to anyone (including me). I've gotten the usual general anxiety, depression, and CPTSD. I've been through antidepressants and xanax, it just makes me feel nothing and sleepy all the time. It's hardER to function like that.
I got breast cancer, I got the full monte treatment with some heavy chemo, and I'm in remission (with no tatas lol). This stripped me of ALL my masking abilities and I was almost non functional (you know what i mean). My oncologist connected me with the psychiatrist in their network. After some time with him he suggested I may have adhd and wanted to evaluate me. I was stunned by the 50 page paper "quiz". It asked me questions that hit me at my core. I'm prescribed adderall xr and it has changed my life for the better in every way.
My mother has quite a few diagnosis under her belt, and I'm sure they've missed something. She has attempted suicide 3 times. I lived with my father beginning at age 8. At 63, she's still competent and holds down a full time job. In my adult life, we've become very close. I used to call her almost everyday (we live in different states).
She simply does not believe I have Adhd. She laughed when I first told her and stopped when she saw I was upset. She has continued to deny that I have it and I find myself reasoning with her and explaining myself!! She counters with the fact I was in gifted classes and was "a good kid". No, I didn't jump on coffee tables screaming and bite teachers, but I didn't talk to anyone at home! My mother was absent and my father and stepmother were too involved with each other to even notice my brother or myself. I masked hard and didn't realize it, my father wasn't really nice (he is now that he's old). It's so frustrating that she is willing to accept literally any other diagnosis but ADHD. It really feels dehumanizing talking to her about it. I don't want to call her like I used to. When I talk to her we avoid the subject, but it's heavy on me that she thinks of me that way.
So I'm thinking of cutting her off for a while. I can't stand the tension. I've sent her things to read for education and her response is to kind of laugh and say "yeah maybe later ha". I can't change or mind or convince her. I don't even think I want to at this point. I'm not going to ghost her, but I think I'm going to tell her just like I'm telling you guys. I'm going to say "getting the correct diagnosis has improved my life and I'm sorry you feel like you do. I have sent you education material and I'm sorry, but until you can accept this and be respectful.. I need to cut off contact for my well being." I'll figure out how to tell her she's welcome to come back when she can be more respectful.
I could cut her off at the knees, I could ask her how would she know because she wasn't there... but I don't want an argument.
Thanks for reading, i needed to get that off my chest. Hope you guys have a wonderful day.

Sorry this post ended up long... Hi, I’m hoping to find some iems that are comfortable for my pretty small ear canals. The problem is that I also have small actual ears, and one of them is slightly oddly-shaped so the wraparound part of most iem cables are awkward to put on and never feel secure.
For context in case it helps: I’ll be using them with a 5th gen iPod classic, and they’ll mostly be used while walking outside. I listen to classical music, jazz and vaporwave, and I rarely listen to music with vocals.
I’m very new to headphones/iems but I absolutely love the sound of my Koss KSC75s with a headband, I just need a touch more noise cancelling for when I’m outside. I’ve also tried Moondrop Aria Snows, and if I’d been able to keep them in my ears I think I’d have been happy with them, though not blown away.
I’ve found that bullet-style is what I’m looking for. I found a large database of bullet iems somewhere on this sub, but It looks like there aren’t many pairs that are populahave a good amount of reviews to help make a decision. The following seem to be my options:
Etymotic ER2-XR £130
Etymotic ER3-XR £200 or £120 refurbished from a shop that looks to be well reviewed
Etymotic ER4-XR £300
Final E5000 £219 Would I definitely need an amp with these to fully enjoy them? Reviews seems to suggest so. I don’t know anything about amps and whether they’re usable with an old iPod, but if they are I don’t mind getting something extra as long as it can go in my pocket/bag.
I’m a bit concerned about the comfort of the Etymotics after all I’ve read about them, but as long as the nozzles are small enough to allow small alternative tips I’m willing to take the risk (any recs for tips would be great; only thing is I’m not a great fan of foam).
So, after all that I’d love some advice about which of the above would be my best option, or if there is another option I’ve missed. Also, off on a tangent slightly but if anyone has views on whether I would benefit from a different/newer portable digital audio player for quality sound that would be great. I’ve taken the DAP route so I can leave my phone at home. I don’t mind spending money on this; I love walking with music so I’d like the experience to be as good as possible.
Thank you!

I don't word things right and the actual sub has been extremely negative. So asking here for a bit of experiences.
Late diagnosis ADHD. This was only brought to attention as I was in my 5th ADHD burnout and couldn't come back.
I finally got a doc, therapy and meds so professional assistance box is checked.
They started me off with 10mg of Dex(Adderall). I barely noticed a difference but there was one. I have it a few months. The doc bumped to 15mg XR and QR to help get thru days. I have days it works decent for an insanely short time. Typically 4 hours after I get a level of clarity and organizing makes sense. Then slowly fades away. I've had zero side effects. Has anyone else been through or in a burnout and/or anecdotal experience with meds not really having effects of any kind?
Minor note: I lied first month taking the pill I Had to sleep 20-30 minutes. (Sleep 8 hours wake up, take pill, insane overwhelming tiredness in my head, 20 min nap then away and broken-normal)

Any tips/advice for getting out of a really bad burnout cycle? Or talking with boss/co-workers about this appropriately?
I haven’t gone through a formal diagnosis evaluation, but would really like to as soon as I can. I always assumed I had a bit of ADHD, and until recently, I really didn’t know that much about it beyond the usual stigma/stereotypes. Now after some research over the last month, so much of my life makes sense. Once I started my first real corporate job, I discussed how I was feeling with my pcp and was able to start adderall XR. It’s really made a great difference in my life and I have been taking it for about 3yrs.
I work in a very fast paced and high demand industry and I never would have made it this far without medication. My job is client facing and revolves around a ton of data analysis and then being able to build out presentations and present to clients. It requires a lot of organization and multitasking as everyone has multiple clients they work with so it’s a cycle of data analysis, deck building, & presenting almost daily.
I’ve alway had a pretty strong work ethic and have become known at work for being very reliable, detail oriented, and organized. Since I started my career at my current job I’ve always worked late and struggled to have work/life balance. Its unfortunately pretty common to have long days, but mine have always been much longer than most. I always just thought it was because I’m slower at reading and processing my thoughts and have to basically write out a script because I would get nervous on calls and if I didn’t prep my script I would not be able to speak on the fly. Over time I just got used to 12+ hr days because I had to do so much work at night to catch up from the day and be prepared for the next. I often get so busy during the day with meetings, emails, etc. that I typically don’t get to even start building my decks until the end of day when people are starting to log off for the day. I’ve progressed well throughout my career so far, and even though I’m usually always feeling rushed and working late I’ll work as late as I need to in order to deliver on time. I’ve never truly disclosed how many hours I work with my employer and how long tasks can take me because I’ve always felt like it’s my fault for not being super efficient so I have to make up for it with my time. I just learned about time blindness and wow that is a major problem for me.
Over the last few months our company has made a ton of big changes to systems and policies and I personally gained some more responsibilities and some very demanding clients. I’ve expressed to leadership that I have too much on my plate, and they say they are working to shuffle things around but I’ve been struggling pretty bad for almost 2 months now. I haven’t disclosed specifically how much I’ve been working because I fear they won’t really understand and I honestly am not sure how to address since I still am feeling like it’s my fault I can’t complete everything during the work day and it’s starting to get out of hand.
I’m working 15-20hr days to try and keep up including working some on weekends and I’m barely getting by. I’m so exhausted and full of anxiety/stress that I feel like I am way past burn out and struggling to even function as a human these days. For the first time, I’m starting to make mistakes and not hit deadlines because I physically and mentally cannot handle any more. I used to have no problems fallings asleep once I get into bed, it now even when I have a few hours to sleep sometimes it takes a while or it’s not restful bc I’m so stressed. I’m starting to develop some anxiety teeth chatter thing and I woke up with a stye on my eye I assume from weeks of very minimal sleep, high stress, and constant time on the computer. I am so overloaded by emails and projects, I can barely function. I’m running on 2hrs of sleep and I spent about 12hrs on a project that was due at the end of the day and I probably only completed 5-10% of it and had a major meltdown. I also recently found out I got a promotion to a pretty big role for me, and it’s honestly making me feel more stressed and like I don’t deserve it because I’m currently struggling so badly and can barely form a coherent thought.
I desperately want to break out of this cycle because I can’t sustain it for much longer and I really need professional help because I am so mentally and physically drained I can’t function. My family thinks I should quit, but I feel like I have put so much time and effort in to get to this point plus finally getting better pay. I am in no mental state to deal with job hunting. Does anyone have any tips on how to get help or address this with an employer, esp since I don’t have a formal diagnosis yet? I would really like to try to get professional help and try to manage my symptoms better and then see if I can handle this industry or it’s just doesn’t work for me.
If you made it this far, thanks for listening!

Basically that. There's so much that's wrong in my life. There's so much wrong with me and my brain. There's so much *wrong* that feels impossible to cope with, and no matter how hard I try or how much work I put in, nothing changes.
I don't recognize myself. I started treatment for my ADHD with Adderall 2 years ago, and it made things worse. I can't function with it or without it anymore. Without it, I'm pretty smart and funny but an emotional wreck with a hair-trigger temper and zero mental clarity. I spend my time daydreaming and getting sidetracked, perpetually overthinking, exhausted, overwhelmed by the simplest things, losing my temper, can barely hold a job for 6 months or make it through college. With it, I'm functional but an impatient, rude, unfeeling robot and don't care about anything or anyone that doesn't involve improvement/productivity. I can control my emotional reactions so not overwhelmed or losing it out of nowhere but I'm way too serious and insanely irritated just being around other people if they aren't focused on being productive. My life gets healthier on the surface but feels empty underneath. Until it wears off, and then I realize how alone I really am and feel morbidly depressed for a while then mentally numb. It's probably nothing to do with the adderall, really, just that it makes my situation painfully clear to me but I can't go off of it without my life falling apart and ruining my chance of getting out of this mess. Maybe going to talk to my doctor about something else but she's probably sick of me failing with every med and I am too. At this point no doctor seems sure of anything with me. Before I ever took adderall my temper was not this bad. I don't know if it's a psychological thing, like now that I know I'm not this incompetent failure I've been made to feel like my whole life, I am much more deeply angry about the state of it, or if it's the drug itself but I think I wish I'd never started it.
Either way, my social life is gone, what feels like permanently. It was never good, but now I'm either too anxious or depressed & convinced I'll ruin a social interaction before it even starts, so I subconsciously ruin it by being rude or distant or don't ever try... or I just don't want to/don't remember how to emotionally connect to people. I feel too miserable right now to have any kind of relation unless it's with a therapist. I deal with dissociation no matter what but I think my emotional memories have been damaged bc I can look at someone I do actually love and feel like I'm looking at a stranger. Memories of my son as a baby are all fragmented and emotionally detached. I look at my mom and have to remind myself that she's my mom sometimes. I think it's been obvious to my friends that I'm not really there and am just going through the motions so basically all my friendships have gotten weird or toxic and fallen off. Maybe I've never even had a real close friendship in the first place. I'm starting to wonder if I've ever actually been close with or trusted anyone. I feel like I "lost it" before I ever got a chance to "have it". Not even going into the isolated violent wreck of my childhood or battles with depression starting in elementary school but I don't think I ever had a chance. And now I have a small person relying on me to do better. And I am but I'm also not. I used to be a better parent but had an episode of manic psychosis or a mental breakdown or something that ruined my brain.
I used to know how to at least pretend to be myself when things got bad and suffer through work or hanging out with people. I could put on a happy show, be empathetic and motivated and engaged. Now I don't even know how to... exist around others. I don't remember how to fake it and I'm too miserable to try except for around my son. I've had two episodes of psychosis in the past decade. Both changed me for the worse. It took years to recover last time, and I'm not sure I ever fully recovered. Then, another one earlier this year. And now I have a whole life that I can't put aside to focus on recovering. I have a child who's being affected by my situation and mental health. I have a living situation that we need me to work to get out of, so I can't ask my family for help. I have to keep pushing through college to get a better job.
My family... basically we had to move into my grandma's house after I left my son's dad. I knew it would probably still be toxic, I left at 16 for a reason, but planned to keep my head down and work my way up and all that. I guess I forgot how bad it was. I'm 27 now. Without extremely strong boundaries, they will walk over me & take from me, so I have nothing left for myself. I tried to communicate my feelings for a long time and learned the hard way they don't respect me enough to take the conversation seriously or respect my boundaries, so I have to keep them in mind 24/7 and be ready to enforce them, All the time at home. That's hard when your mental health is crap. But if I don't it'll just end up in another cycle of overwhelm/resentment/confrontation/shame and blame/defeat which I've been going through for 2 years. If I ask for help they will but they'll hold the help against me and expect me to just be refreshed and motivated to do stuff for them if they help me. They don't want us to separate from them and move out or get my health/life together. They don't understand so I can't afford to be gentle with myself. And it makes me deeply furious and resentful. But I rely on them for housing(do pay rent and our own food/bills). I live in their house. See them every day. They don't ask how things are, if I need anything, how school is going, no normal family stuff.. Part of it is just how they are they aren't generally kind or caring people. That's whatever. The other part is just ostracizing me because I don't entertain their toxic bullying/gossiping/whining crap and won't play that game. They watch me like a hawk, and instead of being genuinely concerned when I'm struggling, they stare me down and avoid engaging with me unless it's to criticize. They make me feel like a caged animal. Any amount of concern on their part is purely selfish.
The part that gets to me and makes me feel hopeless is how they use it against me and make sure I can't win. They won't accept interactions from me or my son that have boundaries. Because I stopped putting my and my child's life aside to take care of them. I stopped accepting my role as the scapegoat/incompetent overemotional f*** up who couldn't do anything right but still cared about them no matter how badly they treated me after I realized they don't want anything to improve they just want to be taken care of/in control. I'm not strong enough to engage with them all day and keep my boundaries strong. So I mind my business and ignore their attempts to get under my skin, all of a sudden I'm being disrespectful and selfish, or they're "concerned" about my son and mental health... except they aren't really and I learned the hard way not to fall for it. If I make an effort to get along, or accept help, even a little bit, they drag me back in by asking about my life or my son, making me feel comfortable, and then projecting their absurd opinions/criticism, making me doubt myself while also expecting my days to revolve around them. "They" is mostly my grandma btw, but she's backed up by everyone else, and my aunt is worse in other ways. She talks about me behind my back to other family members, denies it, tries to get closer to my son when I'm upset with her, is really manipulative and toxic in general. I can't stomach it any more. I can't live like this. I'm sick of seeing their faces and feeling that horrible judgmental, toxic energy and desperately just wanting to be anywhere, anyone else. I'm sick of them acting concerned when I take my son out for the day, most of the weekend, because they know I mostly just don't want either of us around them but refuse to just let it be, let alone even consider asking themselves why that is. And I'm sick of the fact that it's NORMAL. It's NORMAL for people to take their children to the playground for the day or go run errands with them. I'm doing NORMAL things and trying to be a responsible healthy adult and they act like I'm being insane and childish. It's pure enmeshment. Every bit of independence is me being selfish. And it's worse because it's not just my grandma... her and my aunt and my mom and mom's boyfriend and my little sister are all attached to this dynamic of never going anywhere, doing anything, relying entirely on each other, just being toxic, letting themselves and their lives rot, everything is always the same and everyone has to play their part. I'm alone.
I need help badly. I know my family isn't 100% the problem but I have been trying so hard and keep falling down harder. I wasn't always hostile and hard to get along with. I take my meds and talk to my doctors. I'm open to and actively work on self-improvement and going back to therapy. I try to change my mindset. But I keep getting dragged back down. They aren't just, not encouraging, they resent and sabotage me when I try to improve. It's impossible to get better in this dynamic. I'm not mentally strong. I've spent 20 years letting them make me doubt myself and I'm disgusted by it. I'm furious. The years I'm spending now trying to work on my mental health and life skills and getting a degree/good job I also have to spend navigating this hell. I never had a chance to be happy. Or make it out of here for real. I can't let my son get dragged into this the thought is the only thing that keeps me going. but I don't think I'm strong enough to make it alone. Or healthy enough not to be alone. I'm so tired. My son, the only joy in my life and what I have to live for, is having behavioral issues, too, because my family treats me so that he doesn't think of me as an authority and runs to them when I enforce a rule or put my foot down... he's starting to refuse to cooperate with me on anything and it's transferring into school too. They encourage it and tell me I'm being too hard on him. But he needs rules and boundaries, he needs his mom. It's better for me to keep trying and learning than him run to them for comfort over not getting what he wants over and over again. But every single time I have to be the asshole who drags him back into a conversation or time-out while both he and they look at me like I'm a monster. Remind them to stop letting him do that. Try not to scream in my grandmother's face that she needs to get over the fact that I'm his mother and she's only encouraging this because she can't stand to see me succeed at anything. Let alone help me succeed. I try so hard for him, but all this has turned me into a version of myself I don't recognize and deeply hate. I can barely force myself to care anymore unless I'm angry. I love him so much. But I just go through the motions.
His dad is an irresponsible narcissist who tells him that he doesn't have to listen to anyone or do anything he doesn't want to do and then acts surprised about his behavioral issues. Gaslights me. He turns our son against me, tells him that mommy is sick and that's why she isn't happy. He's obsessed with making himself look like the "good parent" while putting all the responsibility on me for actually doing the research and parenting him and coming up with insights and ideas. Manipulating everyone around us to seem like we're working together meanwhile I had to BEG him to take something seriously for once and stop making every conversation about our son about his "love" for me/guilt tripping me for not wanting to get back together or give in to his manipulation... begging him to put our son first and just be an adult behind the scenes. I don't talk to him anymore unless it's about our son and even then I'm extremely short and refuse to engage in his fantasies. He regularly accuses me of sleeping around, not caring about our son, and other insane stories to fill in the blanks just because I won't open up due to him taking advantage of any amount of personable conversation. Everything with him is a complete and utter fantasy. Even talking about our son's behavior at school or how to work together on potty training he tries to drag me into a conversation about his feelings for me and how worried he is about me. I left him two years ago because he was emotionally abusive, controlling, and wouldn't help me with our son unless I was breaking down. Not remotely interested in rekindling that relationship or having a conversation about it. He knows if he tries the conversation stops there, yet tries every time, and then will eventually blow up and send me novel after novel detailing how much of a piece of crap he thinks I am. Then he'll apologize (finally, after years of it spiraling from there, he knows I log those conversations in case I need to for court) and act like it never happened until the hoovering starts again.
And it sucks that my mental health IS bad and I DO need help but I can't trust anyone around me to not take advantage of that.
I cannot trust anyone. Not a single person in my life. Healthier family members avoid me because I'm so miserable that it's toxic on its own. I don't want to talk to anyone about anything. I don't feel like I'm alive or have an ounce of sanity left. I'm not even a person anymore. None of this is fixable. I don't just feel like an empty shell of a person, I am an empty shell of a person. I'm hopelessness and rage and loneliness pretending to be a person. I used to be a person. I hate every single person that I know. I hate that I hate them. I hate that I pushed away the good people in my life because I am trapped in these toxic and draining but necessary relationships. I hate myself for dragging my son into this mess. I hate that my best option is to completely fake being okay with this groundhog day from hell until I get my own place to fall apart and heal. And right now I hate how impossible that feels. I don't want to live like this.
Anyway. I'm keeping on. Just... venting. After being silent and in my head for a while. Take it with a grain of salt. Thanks, if anyone read this far.