Accutane personal

I just finished month 2 on 20mg and I feel my mental health deteriorating day by day. I was always a very cheerful and sociable person prior to accutane and now I’ve become the complete opposite and getting out of bed daily has become a dreaded task. Everyone around me have noticed the difference too even when I try my best to hide it.
My derm never specified the duration of my course so idk when to expect reaching the finishing line either.
For those who experienced depression during your course, did it affect you permanently or does it get better?
I genuinely dont know how long I can keep going with this feeling inside of me that feels like its never going to get better.

Hey everyone, I wanted to share my experience after being on accutane for 9 months, with a cumulative dosage of 11,000mg. I'm a 24-year-old female, weighing 72kg, and I've always prided myself on being in great shape due to my workout routine.
Before starting Accutane, I struggled with my mental health,(nothing serious) but things took a turn I didn't expect after about 4 or 5 months into the treatment. My personality underwent a complete transformation, not towards depression or anything like that, but it felt like I became a different person altogether.
During this time, I also occasionally used weed, and while high, I become more self-aware. I noticed significant shifts in my thinking patterns since starting Accutane. Now that I've finished the treatment, I'm left feeling... lost, to put it lightly. Accutane worked wonders for my skin, but I'm desperate to reclaim my old personality. Will it ever come back, or am I doomed to this new version of myself?
I'm curious if anyone else has had a similar experience with personality changes. Did your mind eventually revert to its original state after finishing the treatment? I'm also open to discussing side effects; personally, I didn't experience many physical side effects, but the impact on my mental state was profound.

Hey gang! This group was such a beacon of hope for me during my darkest hours so I thought I’d pay it forward and give a pretty positive update!
For some background, I struggled with mild/moderate acne since about age 12 that was just incredibly persistent. You name it, I’ve tried it, including every oral and topical medication on the market. Sometimes it would seem like something was helping then bam, it’d come creeping right back. I honestly estimate I’ve spent thousands of dollars attempting to treat my acne over the years 😥. For some dumb reason I just assumed my acne wasn’t “bad enough” for Accutane and tried to handle it on my own. Long story short, when I turned 37 my acne EXPLODED and became very cystic and painful. I’m talking under the skin cysts that would stick around for weeks. For the first time in my life I was experiencing scarring and completely panicked. I even got my hormones tested thinking it must be some sort of hormone issue or maybe related to lifting heavy at the gym but nope, everything was normal. I should also mention my mother experienced the exact same issue in her thirties (Accutane worked beautifully for her) so at this point I can only assume my acne is genetic. My mental health hit an all time low and I didn’t want to leave my house. My breaking point came when I got a massive cyst under my left eye that made it look like I’d gotten punched in the face. I couldn’t even enjoy my daughter’s birthday because I was so self conscious and just felt so alone and desperate 💔. It was then I made the decision to see a derm asap and beg for Accutane, and thankfully she took one look at me and agreed (the fact I was sobbing probably helped a little 😭).
I weigh roughly 135lbs and started on 40mg with the intention of bumping to 80mg for a 5/6 month course. I broke out terribly weeks 5-8 after doubling my dose, it then calmed down, and by the end of month 3 I started to clear quite dramatically. Month 5 I got what I thought was a tiny pimple (more on that in a second) so we agreed to extend my course with the goal of 30-60 days without a new breakout. Unfortunately my course wound up lasting for 8 months as at the time I thought I was getting small little closed comedones - which was odd because my acne has never been comedonal - but in retrospect was actually keratosis pilaris.
The clinic I used had an 8 month cap policy so we decided to just stop (I liked my derm but she really wasn’t very helpful when I asked about these little bumps) and since then I have been doing relatively well. My kp has definitely worsened and I have slowly started to incorporate Tretinoin and azaleic acid which was the plan anyways for post Accutane maintenance, and unfortunately am still waiting to see results in that department. However, I don’t regret Accutane for a SECOND because I would chose kp (which my husband tells me isn’t even noticeable) over dehabilitating cystic acne any day.
I’ve included some pics of my progress and would be happy to answer any questions in the comments. Personally having acne in my thirties felt SO LONELY as I was the only one in my peer group dealing with it so I am more than happy to help anyone get through this tough but insanely rewarding journey.

I have finally made the decision to start the accutane process today. It’s been a long and exhausting fight with my skin ever since I turned 17 (I am now 21) and have now turned to the last hope. I have tried all the topicals imaginable that a dermatologist could prescribe you and some seem to have helped in first month and lost effectiveness after that and some have made it 5x worse the morning after putting it on. I’m writing this post for just feedback from other people that started it maybe a little bit later than the average person would. What are some things you recommend I have to help with side effects? Such as supplements, foods, and lotions for the dryness. Can’t lie i’m quite scared of all the possible side effects and purging that can happen but i’m ready to finally try it. Any tips or advice is appreciated. Good luck everyone else on their journey!!

I hate reality sometimes and when life is filled with a bunch of really unfortunate events, I question if there’s a right or genuinely correct way to be living my life, if i should love myself more, be more humble, if I should be a better christian, or if God even exists, or if the way we perceive life to be as humans is even beneficial to humans or not. I hate that most things that give us a lot of dopamine have terrible life threatening consequences too. Smoking Weed is bad for my singing voice and lungs, edibles knock me tf out, carts give me derealization, i wanna take accutane because of my acne but that means i can’t drink, I often refuse to excersize because being lazy sometimes feels good but it’s also really bad for us, eating unhealthy food tastes amazing but it’s bad for us, too much screen time is bad for us, and weirdly everything that gives me comfort as a human being can have really bad effects on my brain or health. i genuinely fear life. i fear how short it is and i hate that most human beings might not see enough value in me as a person and i hate that life and humans are not as CREDIBLE as we like to believe. LITERALLY WHAT IS LIFE AND WHY IS IT HELLA SHORT I HATE THIS.

My LDR girlfriend started accutane in february which almost immediately made her depressed, emotionless, killed her libido and made her hate spending time with anyone (including me), which resulted in her breaking up with me last week so she can "focus on herself" during her treatment which might last until october.
I know it's really selfish of me to think this but, every day I wish she would just stop her treatment so she can go back to her usual self, I also know how much she hates her acne but, getting pushed away when I offered to give her whatever space/support she needed as long as she decides to tough it out with me hurts so much.
And I'm so scared that she might not go back to normal after she's done, she hasn't been herself at all ever since the second month of accutane and nothing I say matters to her at this point, she won't even consider trying to lower her dose so lessen the side-effects.
Atleast when she first started on a lower dose, she still had those same side-effects but managed to reassure me that she still cares about me and to not take it personally, I felt like the person I knew was still in there and that it'd go away in time. But since she upped her dose in march, she can't even tell me that everything will work out, she just wants to push me away to not have to deal with being in a relationship and I hate it, I wanna be there for her so badly.
Again, I know this is really selfish but it just hurts me so much to know that the person that I love with all my heart is suffering on her own and that she honestly would rather do that than having me there to support her.

Hii everyone,
I’m a 22-year-old female, and I’ve been experiencing some symptoms that have me wondering if I might have PCOS. I’ve noticed increased facial hair and acne (have tried many medications and ended up doing accutane for 6 months). From some light reading, it seems like these could be related to PCOS. I also have an IUD and because of that, I don’t have my period anymore, which makes it a bit harder to track certain symptoms.
However, I’m quite new to this topic and feeling a bit lost about where to begin. Here are some questions I have:

1. What symptoms of PCOS led you to see a doctor?
   
2. How is PCOS diagnosed?
   
3. What treatment options are available?
   
4. Can PCOS affect long-term health?
   
5. What should I ask my GP?
   
6. What should I look out for in doctors? How can I ensure that my doctor takes my concerns seriously and doesn’t neglect my symptoms?
   

Any advice or personal experiences would be appreciated a lotttt! Thank you <3

I’m a little worried but Idk if I’m just being a mom. My 16 year old is nearing completion of her first month on Accutane. She’s 150 lbs (68kg). He first prescribed 30 mgs and was set to send the same 30 mg script in for her second month.
Well, based on what everyone says here and what Dr Google says, I asked him if he’d consider a higher dose for her second month. She’s tolerated it well so far; only experiencing dry lips. She is definitely purging now though. Her cheeks and neck and a little more bacne. Idk, it just seemed like other people had higher scripts for their weight so i just wasted to see what he’d say.
I was thinking he’d go up to like 40mg but instead he went straight to 60 mg. Is this too much? I’m so worried. We are using Clear Health telehealth so it’s a little less personal. I can ask questions but it might delay the script…she only has 7 days bc of ipledge.
What do you guys think? Is this too high or is this right in line with a normal increase? Send me links to read if you don’t feel like explaining. I don’t mind to learn.
Thanks in advance.

Hi,
I (woman 28 yo, 50kg) have finished a course of 8 months of low dose Accutane (20mg a day) and after having spent MONTHS reading the various contributions of redditors, I would like to summarize my own experience and unexpected side effects in case this would be helpful for others
\\** Initial state of my skin and dose \\**
Moderate to severe acne (approximately 10-15 inflammed spots on my face on average), lots of dark spots on the nose ; a few rolling scars. Prescribed dose was 20mg a day for 8 months.
\* Summary - Effect on acne *\**
Very happy with the treatment which worked wonders with my acne. No purge (I was lucky). I could see after 2-3 weeks that I had less new acne coming and that the inflammatory acne already existing faded faster (the acne itself, not the PIH). On month 2 it was already very obvious that 80% of the acne had reduced and none was left by the 4th month apart from one very small spot here and there (very rarely). Everything totally disappeared by 6 months
\\** Side effects which I expected \\**

• Dryness: during the entire course: dry lips (first side effect, happend 8 days into the treatment), a little bit of dry eyes, dry skin and particularly the skin of my hands (little red rashes). Aquaphor Gel was my best friend
• Good hair: no greasy hair at all, more volume, more shiny and easier to tame. Oh I miss the Accutane hair!
• Also, I had dry scalp during the 1st month but doing some masks with a mix of almond and argan oil every week was very efficient for me. This may explain why my hair was healthier.
• I was really tired the first month but fortunately it went better afterwards and I could keep practicing sports
• some kind of joint pain (?) in my heels, as if those were a little bit strained, which lasted the first 3 months but which I only felt when standing up after being seated. Based on the advice of some redditors, I took collagene powder every morning to help with joint pain starting from month 3 and I don't know whether this helped or whether the joint pain would have disappeared by itself.
• Increase of bad cholesterol as shown by blood test every months: based on some redditors' advice here and my derm instructions, I decided to take some Omega3 every day starting from month 3. It worked! The blood tests improved after I started doing it.
• Mood swings: I was lucky that i avoided all signs of depression, but I did have a few mood swings in the course of those 8 months, in particular in the first 2-3 months. Those were quite brief and not very serious but I could feel there was something a bit different (more "hormonal"?) in the way I was feeling things and reacting.
• Sun sensitivity: I was EXTREMELY cautious and wore spf every time there was more than 3 UV index. Still I got quite red and minor sun burnt twice in my cheeks just because I walked 15 minutes in the sun (moderate UV) without wearing a SPF. (Note that I am white but I have no particular sun sensitivy when not taking Accutane).
• Scars heal more slowly: while the inflammation of the acne was much shorter, the PIH stayed longer than usual (probably because my skin was dehydrated). I did not mind : I kept hydrating with creams and the PIH eventually disappeared entirely within 6-8 months

\\** Side effects I did not expect \\**
I have to admit that there were many side effects that I did not expect, despite my many readings on the subject:

• Better appearance of rolled scars due to my skin being more tight during the course. This advantage has disappeared after finishing the course when my skin got back to its normal tightness. Still it made me feel prettier while it lasted
• Periods: my periods, which had been very regular for YEARS, started becoming really strange and irregular starting from the 2nd month (coming for 2 days then disappearing for 6 weeks, then 3 very light days, then disappearing again for 2 weeks, coming back etc.). Important note: I did not take any hormones or oral contraceptive during the course and the only change in my life was taking Accutane. Those irregularities stopped approximately 2 months after I finished the course of Accutane. Derm said that I was not the first lady who reported this side effect to him.
• Fine lines around the month and the eyes (I had none before the treatment): this effect annoyed me because I really thought "am I getting rid of acne to replace it with prematured wrinkles?" and "isotretinoin is supposed to have an anti aging effect so wtf?". I could literrally see lines appearing on my face during the course of Accutane. My derm kept telling this was obvious deshydration as I did not drink enough water (I was supposed to drink 2,5L but I struggle doing 1,5L) and not to worry as those would fade after the end of the course. I am happy to say that now it is better, they are still a bit visible but they are fading indeed.... we will see how it goes.
• the ACCUTANE NOSE, as some people in this sub seem to call it: I had never heard of this effect before being at least until 5 months into the treatment. I normally have a small nose but on month 5, I started to notice there was something weird with it as if it was TOO thin (in a bad way in my case). Several relatives also asked me if I did something to it. None of us suspected Accutane until I saw a post on reddit about the Accutane nose. So... yep, I can confirm this is definitely a thing at least for me (and in my situation it was not a good thing esthetically speaking).
• Minor nose bleeding between month 6 and month 8 (no huge amount of blood but still a little bit once avery 3-4 days). Derm said this was a common side effect and told me to gently put Aquaphor Gel with a Qtip inside my nostrils.
• Sweating: ok, so I am usually a person who sweats VERY little including during sport. I can run 3 hours and my feet will be totally dry in my shoes. Anyway, I noticed very quickly during the 1st month of Accutane that I was sweating SIGNIFICANTLY more at the gym, with sweat literally pouring down my nose and my neck. This may be a strange thing to say but... I kinda enjoyed it :D. I loved the idea of having water coming through my pores, it made me feel as if my body was breathing or something, I don't know how to explain it. And this gave me the look of a warrior :D. Well, in any case: I kept sweating like this for the entire course of Accutane, maybe slightly less after 5 months; and after stopping Accutane I stopped sweating and got back to my normal self. Derm told me this was a very common side effect (how come I never heard of it ???).
• Lowered drinking resistance: I have been drinking very little during the course due to the warnings made by my derm ("you can drink but only in a very reasonable way, no more than once a week"). I respected the instructions but I still could feel that I was getting drunk much faster (like one glass of wine vs 3 usually).
• High libido: I felt very early in the course that my libido was higher. I think that getting rid of this horrible acne made me feel better in my head, happier and sexier (and therefore want to fornicate). This was still a good surprise because I expected the accutane tiredness and dryness to reduce my libido and it actually improved it (and it did not impact at all the ability to lubricate - if I may say it bluntly). Of course I was EXTREMELY prudent with contraceptives to avoid any pregnancy for obvious reasons.
• Incompatibility with beard: I know this sounds ridiculous, but kissing my husband became uncomfortable for me due to his beard irritating the skin of my chin, very sensitive due to Accutane. (So... more sex, less kisses.. sigh). It is now back to normal.

\* And now *\**
I am to wait for 6-12 months to see whether the acne will come back or whether this course was a success... In the meantime I hope that my report could help some of you!

Hey guys. My dermatologist thinks I should go on Accutane (this is a story for another time) and she wants me to start now, end of May/beginning of June.
She told me about the necessary SPF & hat use & no sunbathing and such, which, okay, I could do since I'm not such a big summer lover, swimmer, beach person in the first place.
Other than that, she says I can walk around perfectly normal, live my life in the summer perfectly normal, which I don't really think I can.
Can you guys tell me how stupid it is to start treatment in the summer? I have very, very, very mild acne in the first place, and I always use SPF even in winter. But is it really just SPF and a hat?
Will I be able to have a normal summer, for example go on a tennis match maybe, have a boat day etc., walk my dog in the park, have a drink on a sunny day, not running under an umbrela the second the sun touches my skin, especially face?
Or should I rather start in September?
Thank yoy all so much.

I suspect that all of my symptoms are connected, but they span lots of different specialties and it's impossible to get all my doctors together to go over things. So I'd like to know what you think and in particular answers to any of these questions:

• Why does my skin turn purple? What is this rash?
• What is this weird IBS "aura"? Is it a kind of migraine? Why doesn't it happen with normal attacks?
• Can I do anything about the IBS distention?
• Why is so much wrong on the right side of my body? And why mostly on my face and head? Did I have a stroke?
• Is my objective tinnitus "twitching" and Eustachian tube dysfunction related to migraines?
• Why do I have difficulty breathing out of the right nostril even with no obstructions and a clear CT scan with no inflammation? There's clearly less throughput through the right nostril.
• Why do I randomly have extreme fatigue?
• What the hell is going on with the weird symptoms?
• What other treatments or tests should I try, given that my Drs have tried all the obvious ones, since I was a kid?

I have a hard science background, a graduate degree in physics, and some undergrad chemistry and biology, so I'm interested in more detail than I'm getting from my doctors here. I'm hopeful that understanding can lead to some better treatments, but I am also just interested academically.
Everything listed here I have had since I was an early teenager, all starting around that time. None have had any particular identifiable trigger.
Sorry this is a bit long, I'm trying to be comprehensive.
39M, 160 lbs, 5'11", white, in okay shape. Don't drink, smoke, or do drugs. I eat fine, don't eat out, and drink plenty of water. Drink a few cups of green tea per day, occasionally a coffee in the morning. Rarely drink soda. Generally take care of myself.
IBS
It's about 50/50 constipation/diarrhea. I have symptoms from it every day. I'd say about 1/3 of the time its not that bad, 1/3 moderately bad, and 1/3 severe.
I have significant pain and bloating when it's acting up. Pencil-thin stools. Sometimes diarrhea and constipation at the same time, like I have to strain to get very liquidy diarrhea out.
There is also very significant distention. When it's not bothering me, my stomach looks flat, and when it is I can look fairly overweight, like a beer belly. I've never found anything that helps with this.
I've tried every elimination diet known to man, and nothing has helped. I haven't found any food triggers or other specific triggers. But just eating or drinking can trigger it. Sometimes I'll feel fine and take a sip of water, and a minute later I feel awful.
The IBS symptoms feel significantly different than "normal" GI problems, I can't describe how, but it feels more "wrong" than regular constipation, bloating, diarrhea, etc.
Medications:
50mg of CBD 2x/day, and it's the only thing that's ever helped with the IBS pain.
Pepcid 1x/day from acid reflux, presumably from the IBS.
Imodium, few times a week.
In the past I've tried tricyclic antidepressants, Bentyl, and some other stuff I don't remember, which weren't helpful.
IBS aura
Sometimes in the morning I will have a strange dream-like experience. It's not a dream per se, but I'm asleep, and it feels like one, but with no imagery or anything. There's an intense feeling of unreality and dissociation that comes along with it. I'd describe it as kind of similar to the strange feeling that comes with a migraine aura, but much more intense and much much weirder.
When I wake up, I feel extremely sleepy and confused for a few moments, but physically completely fine. Then after about a minute, I'm overwhelmed with sudden, immediate, incapacitating IBS pain. The pain will last all day, and is by far the worse IBS pain I get. It happens once or twice a year. And always exactly like this (e.g., never when I'm awake, or after a nap.)
I don't get anything like that "aura" preceding normal IBS symptoms.
Migraine with aura
The aura is a dark spot starting on the lower-right of my field of vision which increases to fill about 1/3 of the lower right-hand side. Random smaller dark spots appear across my field of vision, and sometimes small point-like scintillating spots.
Pain is also localized on the right-hand side just behind my eye, extending backwards for a bit, and I'd typically describe as throbbing.
The migraines come and go. I might have them every day for weeks, then none for months or years. But typically it's several a month.
I also have frequent regular headaches, several a week.
Neurological workup is fine otherwise.
Medications:
Cymbalta 60mg 1/day, as a preventative. It works okay.
Sumatriptan, when needed. Also works okay, both together make a migraine tolerable but still bothersome.
Eustachian tube dysfunction / objective tinnitus
In both ears, but primarily the right ear, I have Eustachian tube dysfunction. The tubes are closed most of the time, like I have a cold. I do the Valsalva maneuver several times a day to help. There's no fluid buildup though.
Often I hear a rumbling sound in my ears that is nearly identical to what you hear when you yawn. When this happens, by placing my finger just in front of my ear I can clearly feel something twitching, there's significant movement. Pressing with moderate force typically stops it.
It's extremely irritating and distracting, but doesn't seem to hurt my hearing. AFAIK nothing triggers the rumbling, and the only thing that stops it is pressure. It's mostly bothersome at night. I've been tested for allergies, and didn't find any serious ones.
Very occasionally, my ears ring for a few seconds or minutes. Sometimes the background "tone" changes, like when a bad movie cuts from one person's dialogue to someone else's and it feels like it doesn't match.
Deviated septum
A year ago I had a septoplasty and inferior turbinate reduction to correct a deviated septum I'd had since I was a kid, making it increasingly hard to breathe out of my right nostril. Covering the left nostril and breathing out of the right would make me feel like I was suffocating. AFAIK there was no trauma that caused this.
CT scans didn't show any sinusitis or inflammation and septal deviation was "moderate."
Surgery went great and it's much better, but the right-hand side still feels like there's less throughput. I can feel this clearly if I block one nostril and exhale out the other. The ENT says that there're no obstructions or other reasons he can see for this and doesn't know why it's happening. I'd say the right nostril has like 75% of the throughput of the left one.
ADHD/Anxiety/Depression
I've also been diagnosed with ADHD, the inattentive type.
Also anxiety and depression. As a teenager they were more severe, now they're more manageable. Saw psychologists for years but don't anymore.
I've tried several SSRI/SNRIs, and none of them have helped at all. But they have had sexual side effects of significantly decreased libido and difficulty maintaining erections. I still get erections in the mornings fine. Without the drugs I've never had these problems. They also made me pretty anhedonic in the long-run.
Medications:
I take Vyvanse 40 mg, a few times a week for the ADHD symptoms. I'd take it more frequently, but it causes the same sexual side-effects as the SSRI/SNRIs. For some reason the Vyvanse almost completely eliminates my anxiety within about an hour of taking it.
Cialis 5mg, for sexual side-effects, but it's only a little helpful.
Weird symptoms
I haven't had a diagnosis associated with any of these. I've had these all since I was a kid/teenager.

• The skin on my hands, arms, feet, and legs occasionally gets this strange mottled look, with red/purple/white splotches, about .5 cm across. It looks alarming, but is not painful and no other symptoms are associated with it. No particular trigger for it.
• Sometimes, after exercise or moderate physical activity (e.g., a causal walk) my body feels numb and clumsy, and my fingers looks significantly puffy and swollen (not just the joints, the whole finger). Other joints feel stiff and swollen, but don't look like it as much.
• Face has a slightly red, rash-like area, like a butterfly rash except it extends into the crease along my nose, and is mostly on the cheekbone area. It's red like a mild sunburn, or when someone's face gets red when they drink. I get acne in this same area frequently too.
• The right side of my face feels "weird", I don't know how to describe it. There's no difference in sensation on my skin though, it's just an internal feeling. It's also slightly harder to move the right side of my face, for example my smile is asymmetric.
• I have a lot of extreme fatigue for no reason. Some days it's hard to do anything. Other days are totally fine. Brain fog semi-frequently. The fatigue feels significantly different than "regular" fatigue. Most days I feel roughly like I have a low-level flu.
• I get lots of strange aches and pains. A lot of joint soreness and stiffness, particularly hips, knees, elbows, and fingers. Sometimes finger joints are obviously swollen when they're achy, but not usually, and cracking my knuckles usually helps. Sometimes areas of my skin will feel sore or have a burning feeling (most commonly my forearms and the top of my head). Sometimes stabbing pain in a random tooth that lasts for less than a second. I took pregabalin for a while and it was moderately helpful, but I had to stop because it made me forget words.
• Sometimes have difficulty peeing, I've been told that's probably related to the IBS.
• I am sensitive to a lot of drugs, and typically need smaller-than-normal doses. Side-effects are also worse. Opioid pain killers make me extremely nauseous and vomit and so does general anesthesia. The anti-nausea drugs drs give me when I complain help with the anesthesia but not the opioids.
• Some drugs don't seem to have much of an affect on me at all, e.g., over-the-counter pain killers do almost nothing for any pain I have, even regular cuts-and-bruises.

Minor weird things
Probably not related to anything, but for completeness. I've also had all of these since I was a kid/teenager.

• My fingernails have vertical ridges in them and are brittle. Toenails don't have this and aren't brittle.
• Fingernails are also smaller than normal, like maybe half the height? Toenails are normal size, except for the little toe which has a ridiculously tiny nail.
• Flat feet, and sometimes when walking I feel a sharp, painful "tearing" feeling running down the center of the foot from just below the toes to just before the heel. Oddly, if this happens, running feels totally fine. The "tearing" happens on the right foot 90% of the time.
• Joints all hyperextend.
• Generally high pain threshold, except on areas of my body that are sore/achy, where I'm very sensitive, or when IBS pain is acting up, where I'm sensitive all over.
• Occasionally I wake up at night extremely thirsty. Like I'm dying of thirst. I have to guzzle water.
• Lots of cavities, and gums have slightly receded in places.
• Random muscle twitches in the thighs, sometimes upper chest or upper arms.
• Lots of stretchmarks on my sides and stomach from when I was a young teenager. Was never overweight and didn't have a sudden growth spurt or anything when they appeared, but was taking Accutane for severe acne at the time.
• Multiple hairs grow next to each other, spaced a hair's width or so apart, like there's a cluster of hair follicles instead of just one. Hairy chest, back, and butt.
• Natural sleep cycle is very late, going to bed ~4am. (Sleeping on this schedule doesn't improve anything.)
• Penis slightly curved. Not enough to cause any problems but noticeable.
• Right-handed, but am left-eye dominant.
• Nearsighted.

Family history

• Maternal grandfather -- Lupus
• Maternal aunt -- Rheumatoid arthritis, migraines
• Maternal uncle -- Chron's
• Half-sister from mother -- Psoriatic arthritis
• Father -- Hypertension, heart attack
• Paternal grandmother -- Fibromyalgia

Tests
I've had so many tests I can't think of them all. They always come back normal, with the exception of low vitamin D (19).
I had lots of tests for IBS as a teenager, including uppelower GIs, and a bunch other I don't remember.
Recently had comprehensive metabolic panel, thyroid tests, testosterone test, estradiol test, and a bunch of STD tests. All normal, but Glucose is in the high 90s (but it's always been < 99) and cholesterol is a little high.
Blood pressure is on the high end of normal, resting heart rate is in the 80s.
My Apple watch says my EEG is fine, SpO2 is fine, and sleep is fine with no interruptions and no drops in SpO2 or respiration rate.
Other daily medications
Fexofenadine, multivitamin

Hi.
I’m sorry if this is a bit incoherent, but I just want to get this off of my chest. I tried to word it as best as I could.
For context, I’m 20.
Life has been absolute miserable torture since taking accutane 6 months ago, and quiting 4 months ago. I developed horrific side effects (anhedonia, emotional numbess/blunting, light sensivity, brain fog, horrible memory, lack of interest in dating or anything, and more on top of that.) This has all persisted since getting off, and feels like it hasn’t improved.
To put it bluntly, before all of this, I felt a vocation to being married and having a family. Now, it feels absolutely impossible, like a road block has been put there so I will never get to that point. Right before I took the accutane, I had a period of 2 months where I had intrusive thoughts telling me to become a priest (I hadn’t even joined the church yet at this point, and had never in my life wanted to be one, I knew marriage was what I felt called to. I met with my rcia priest multiple times during that period and he agreed with it most likely being intrusive thoughts, which they did go away) I had just barely got out of that before this mess started. So I had intrusive thoughts trying to rip the idea of marriage from me, but now this put the nail in the coffin. Now with this I don’t know what I want to do with life now, nor what I can do with it. It feels like an unmovable obstacle has been put in the way of pursuing my vocation.
I’ve been praying countless rosaries, novenas, healing prayers, and more just for the intention of trying to recover from this nightmare but it still feels like i’m simply not getting heard and left to sit in the void that is my life at the moment. Feels like radio silence. It makes it hard to pray because of that, and because of that, I don’t know what there is else for me to do.
I’m essentially just sitting here and hoping in a miraculous recovery, but as time goes on, my hope dwindles. I’ve been to multiple doctors trying to figure things out. The first doctor who gave me the accutane told me that I was making up these symptoms and did not believe me, and the second one I went to believed me but told me they had no idea how to treat it. That, and looking into people who have had other similar things happen to them, there seems to be no treatment or known cure at the current moment, and essentially anything can make a person worse. I’m therefore stuck between not wanting to risk getting worse or doing nothing.
I guess if there was anything to ask for advice, it’d be this: How do I pray at this point when it feels like i’ve hit complete rock bottom?

So far, only 3 months in (40/60/80), but I’ve lost at least 10 lbs of pure muscle which is very discouraging and frustrating since bodybuilding is half of my personality (the other half is sports betting and leaving yelp reviews). Wanna know if I’ll be able to put my muscle back on after I’m off accutane relatively quickly. Hoping there’s a “muscle memory” effect. Let me know if you’ve been through anything similar. Thanks!

TL;DR: Suffered with PAS (severe sexual dysfunction and anhedonia) for 4 years before starting testosterone 2mg transdermal cream which gave me some libido and feeling back. Also got big improvement re wetness, vulvodynia, recovery after sex, bladder health with vaginal estrogen.
Background
I've been reading this sub for a while and didn't want to comment from my main account, but thought my experience might be useful for people here to read.
I took accutane in 2019-early 2020 and suffered sexual dysfunction (loss of feeling, muted orgasms, complete loss of libido, complete inability to get wet) and anhedonia pretty much since. It took me until 2022 before I gave the condition a name, and until 2023 before I started trying different "protocols".
Pre-accutane I was hypersexual, could have sex 5x a day and still not be satisfied, never struggled for natural lubrication, and had a pretty poor grasp on my emotions. I'd break down with the lowest lows and follow it with the highest highs the next day. I have sort of accepted now that if accutane didn't do this to me, I'd end up on antidepressants or some other anti psychotic medication one day and get PSSD anyway.
Accutane and post-accutane symptoms
Two weeks after starting accutane I ended up in ER with a really bad UTI. This never happened prior, and it was just a taste of what was about to come. I spent 3 months in and out of ER with UTIs that turned bad in the span of two hours. I saw multiple doctors who couldn't help me until one diagnosed me with MCAS and treated me for it alongside treating the bladder.
I also developed severe vulvodynia in the absence of any infection - got tested for everything under the sun, skin was burning to the point I couldn't sleep or sit, visibly red and inflamed - nothing helped and from the labs nothing was wrong!
Finally while the cystic acne was gone my face instead flamed up in type II rosacea.
At first I thought the lack of sex drive was due to the UTIs and vulvodynia, who wants to have sex when your vagina hurts? But then I made some improvements and still couldn't bring myself to have sex. I went to see a therapist. Then another therapist. Then a third. We talked. Nothing changed.
Piecing it together and finding help
The first piece of the puzzle was the MCAS diagnosis. Chronic all-body inflammation played into the vulvodynia, rosacea, the recurrent bladder problems. Avoiding foods marked with L on this list, taking antihistamines and quercetine, as well as other random supplements helped a TON calming my entire body down. Last year I also started LDN but don't think it's done anything after months of taking it.
The second piece was hormones - this was more complex and a slower road to discovery. I had a hormone panel done after accutane and all was within normal range. But my periods were incredibly heavy, to a point my hair started falling out from the iron deficiency - I could not take enough iron to replenish what I lost. GPs didn't take me seriously and I got fobbed off by a female gyno as well. Another female gyno did a hormone panel which again came all normal - but then agreed to treat me anyway after I complained about the vulvodynia, the hairloss, the lack of libido (I didn't mention PAS to anyone because I was worried they'd not take me seriously). I was given vaginal estrogen and an estrogen/testosterone cream to use locally. The estrogen was AMAZING when I took it every day, but some pain/dryness came back when I settled at the recommended 2x a week dosing. The e/t cream made my vulva unbearably itchy so I ditched it. I was also put on a synthetic progesterone pill to help with the heavy bleeding (was diagnosed with endometrial hyperplasia around here too).
Now around this time I stumbled upon the Dr Louise Newson podcast. She talks in so much depth about hormones and the impact they have in every bit of the (female) body. Testosterone receptors in the brain, role of progesterone on immune response, estrogen's role in protecting tissue and bones... So much relevant and fascinating info, I can't even pick a highlight. Personally I started seeing the cross of hormones in my immunity/MCAS, brain function, libido, the whole lot.
Anyhow, I inhaled the information Dr Newson was sharing and next time asked my gyno to give me more estrogen, switch me over to bioidentical progesterone, and let me try systemic testosterone (applied to forearms/thighs/tummy rather than just the vulva). And my god I've actually been feeling STUFF! I had two wet dreams the week I started. I got horny. I cried. I got really sad. I got really happy.
Current state
I've been on my new hormones for about 3 weeks so I know it's too early, but I haven't felt this much since this hell started. I'm not back to my pre-accutane self, but maybe that's for the best actually. I might tinker with the doses and will have to see what a long-term sustainable solution is. I don't know why my hormone panels were coming back normal when clearly my body needed more - maybe it's just that the "normal range" is too wide. I want to feel a bit more I think but not so much that I go back to being governed by my sex drive, engaging in risky behaviour, then switching to feeling suicidal the next week and unable to stop crying for hours - even though in my mind all those things are also part of *me*.
I'm also maybe too young to be taking bioidentical hormones but again the podcast is helping me with this mindset, and from some of the MCAS and other chronic illness stuff I adopted the attitude of acceptance. I have to brush my teeth every day, wear sunscreen, take my meds, take my hormones. The body isn't perfect and there are other daily maintenance tasks we all have to take to prevent it deteriorating, topping up my natural hormones is not the worst thing in the world.
Other random stuff
I've been exercising, eating healthy, practicing mindfulness, and surrounding myself with positive people. Despite being an introvert I force myself to get out and interact, go to the office, grab a coffee, smile at people, mentor younger people in my industry, get out of my comfort zone. I also travel, try new food, smell the flowers, take shitty pictures. All of that helped me through the four years even if it didn't lead me to a "natural" recovery. I didn't lead a bad life those years, just a (much) different one to before.
One thing that I didn't find a space for in the narrative above is that accutane really affected my cognitive abilities as well. I have a postgraduate degree, amazing career, always been sharp and had great results. After accutane my memory was impacted, spelling suddenly got hard, I couldn't reason as well as before. I am not yet sure how that is (going to be) impacted by the hormones as it's more subtle to notice and may be slower to change. I have some faith again based on the podcast.

Hey everyone,
I'm looking for some advice and personal experiences as I'm at a bit of a loss.
About 1.5 years ago, I started using Epiduo for my severe acne. It worked wonders for me, and within 6 months, my acne was completely cleared up. I enjoyed being acne-free for about 3-4 months, which was an incredible relief.
However, my acne started to slowly come back. In response, I completely overhauled my routine. I started using a different cleanser and adopted a very healthy lifestyle, focusing on a clean diet and overall wellness. Despite these efforts, my acne has progressively worsened. I now get pimples on a daily basis and experience weekly breakouts. It's not as severe as it once was, but it's definitely troubling.
I'm considering switching to Accutane, but I'm hesitant and looking for some advice. Did my skin just get immune to Epiduo or am I doing something wrong?
Thanks in advance for your help!

The left one is today's pic and the right one was 20 days back, 20 days of being on Accutane, the results may not be too good for people seeing, but personally I'm feeling much improved , don't loose your hopes

I’m a teenage girl. I had horrible acne from a young age. A couple years ago I finally saw a derm and used Accutane. My skin was completely clear and I was so happy. I felt like I could finally live my life and be normal around others. Until a year later, it came back, 10 times harder. Fast forward to the present, and all active acne on my face is gone on its own, but it has left me with much pigmentation and many boxcar scars on my cheeks especially.
I am devastated and feel like all that work I did was for nothing. I feel disgusting looking at myself. I thought I was going to finally have a chance at a normal childhood but now there is no way I’m going to get that back. I can’t feel normal or go out without makeup and even with makeup on I feel even uglier somehow, like lipstick on a pig. I also have noticed after living both sides that adults are more awkward around you and treat you like you are weird when you have bad skin, or maybe it’s just me. It makes me feel even more ostracized. The toll this has taken on me mentally is insane and I’m not quite sure how to live with myself. I honestly just need somewhere to put this because I need to get this off my chest and hopefully understand that I’m not alone.

So I started accutane in the beginning of January (my dose has been 20-30-30-40-40) and it’s been a rough journey but this past month has been amazing and I’ve had no breakouts at all, my face is cleared up. the last time I saw him (a week ago) he told me he wants to keep me on it for longer than I thought, because I guess new studies show the longer the person is on it, the more effective the results (that’s what he told Me). I knew it was a very long process like 6-8 month but I think he wants me on it closer to 9 when my skin is already totally clear. I trust him and understand I can’t get off it right when my skin gets clear but the side effects suck so bad and I get nervous about having such a harsh drug in my body for such a long time. I guess it’s what I signed up for. Has anyone else’s dermatologist told them something like this recently? Being on it for a longer than standard period of time?

Hi all!
I was diagnosed with PCOS a few years ago. So, of course, my hormonal acne is related to that. However, I also came to the realization a few years ago that dairy causes me to have cystic breakouts. It’s very strange because I grew up eating dairy my whole life and never had problems, but after cutting out dairy as an adult my skin cleared up quite a bit.
Long story short, after many years of struggle I’ve found a way to (mostly) manage my acne through management of my PCOS and also by not eating dairy.
But, my skin is still far from perfect, and I’ve been wondering a lot lately about whether or not I might benefit from something like accutane. I still sometimes get cystic breakouts, even if I’m very strict on my diet, (I think maybe depending on where I am in my cycle), but also because it can be hard to always be so strict about avoiding dairy, especially when dining out.
I was wondering if anyone here has been on accutane for hormonal acne and if it worked for them, with lasting effects? Or, does anyone here have PCOS and has tried accutane? I know every body is different and what works for others may not necessarily work for me, but I’m just hoping there’s another option for me because I’m getting tired of constantly fighting my own skin. It feels like I can be doing everything right but will still sometimes get a cystic breakout and it completely tanks my mood. For a while, when I’d get a breakout, I would think “maybe I had dairy without realizing it,” “maybe I used something that irritated my skin,” maybe this, maybe that. Now, after a few years, I’m realizing that I’m doing everything I can, and maybe I just need more help, and maybe something like accutane can do that for me.
So, I’m just wondering if anyone has a similar experience, how you deal with it, if you’ve tried accutane, and if yes, how it worked for you. I would love if it was possible to go on accutane and be able to go back to eating dairy without breakouts 😂 don’t know if that’s possible, but a girl can dream!
(Please don’t recommend me to the PCOS sub, I’ve been on it many times, I personally have not found any help there and also I’m not looking for tips on how to manage PCOS — right now, I have it managed pretty well. I’m just looking for other’s experiences with cystic/hormonal acne and/or accutane).