So! I've been on a 911 fic binge lately and I'm rereading Those Two Firefighters for the nth time 'cuz I love this kind of fic format so. much. (Plus I love the Buddie dynamic here lol) ((If you haven't read it yet, PLEASE DO! It's so cute and fun and light!!)
Does anyone have any fic recs that have a similar format or plot (basically Oblivious!Buddie with a touch of social media audience and a heap of "They're acting like that but they're not dating?!", maybe even a little fake relationship aka "Let's toy with everyone's emotions by being extra boyfriend-y" but they end up realizing they actually do love each other fr?) Doesn't have to check all those boxes lol but essentially something like that. Please send me links I need to inject this trope into my bloodstream thank you so much <3

Hello im from Southern Cali, heavy guy! shy guy until i warm up and be goofy and random with. Im def socially awkward, open minded nothing is tmi. I like honesty, I dont judge, im a simple guy love a woman in just sweat pants and a oversized tshirt of mine haha or a comfy cuddly oversized hoodie perfect for cuddles. 🥰 which i havent felt like in 15+ years. or a womans physical touch at all.
Im an easy going guy, i do game on Playstation so would be cool to find a game we both play.
Anyways days are lonely i miss the good mornings goodnights having someone to think about all day and randomly smile or laugh. i literally have no friends. Just want to talk without drama.
Someone who has the time and wants to chat back and forth. Not this One off where you chat say hi, act interested then poof ghost. Too old for that crap. So please.
I like being affectionate, yes even in over txt. i adore that stuff, specially my arm being hugged. Omg... maybe im clingy needy wont lie. Just hoping to find someone long term get to know and share our days and nights with.
I love sci fi movies or series shows. Love a good scary movie and having her nuzzle into me if shes scared. i find that sweet and cute. guess i sound desperate , oh well... if i do i do.
penguin hugs. 💙🐧💜

Back in 2020-2 I was on a lot of drugs - mainly shooting/smoking meth, a lot smoking weed, benzos, alcohol - and some other shit like LSD, ketamine, MDMA, I was 17-19 and was almost doing nothing other than drugs. I was living with my grandma and my mother, it was a very toxic and traumatizing 19 years to live with them, started self-harming at 11.
At 12-15 I already was having serious mental health issues, clinical depression from burning out family and anxiety from bullying at school. At 16 I started to smoking weed and doing meth and was having withdrawals. All I could was be on my computer for long to the night in withdrawal, so I began writing.
Poetry here on Reddit and lyrics in notebooks. Then I was still living with my family. My mother, that has BPD and is schizoid said the lyrics were beautiful. They were often about death, suffering, sorrow, drugs and love... and some random rhyme flashes.
I then went to a mental hospital for 3 months and was actually abstaining the first 2 months, then it began again - weed, alcohol. I was on ton of pregabalin, benzos and weed for like 2-3 months, I overdosed big time on MDMA and like a day after I was back at the mental hospital again for like 2 months. I then met me now ex girflriend!
She was awesome, lovely and the best and longest girflreind I had. She was an artist! She took me to her home, where we did drugs and I FUCKED UP big time. Anyways, she was always yelling at me that I am wasting my time, KNOWING I am just fucking wasting it!
I know I am wasting it and I feel it crumbling away uncomfortably.
I was in the same mental hospital for a year. I am outside now for two weeks again and all the year I had 3 writing episodes... but it were mostly because I didn't have my phone. All the time I hadn't got my phone, I was writing lyrics. That was like a month, where I was doing lyrics. I met a girl who does art as a school and said they were beautiful and Kafkazque. lol. And she also said I am wasting my talent not doing it.
But I wanna do it. I just can't. I have a mental block and I'd rather play Tekken 3 because this computer won't do better.
What do I do? I don't know what's keeping me from doing it. Please help!

I (23F) have been dating 25M for 10 months now. I am so scared I am going to sabotage this relationship because of my insecurities. I am just comparing myself endlessly with his ex-gf and his ex-FWB.. There are multiple things that bother me, I''ll try to list them:
It’s almost like I want to make myself feel anxious and insecure. Information, pictures or texts that I've found through lurking (which I try to stop doing) hurts my feelings but have burned themselves into my head. (1) For example, the summer we started dating he was frequently liking his ex-FWB pictures on IG - some revealing, some not - last one he liked was from a couple of months back, a very revealing one where she had taken a picture from above, angle looking into her tanktop, her tongue was out, nipple piercings visable through her shirt, very suggestive. Him liking provocative pictures of a woman he used to have sex with makes me uncomfortable. He hasn't done it for months now, but I fear it could return around summer when she wears revealing outfits again.
(2) I've also recently realized in a group chat with his friends he added me to, you can look back at messages before you were in the GC. That led me to look way back and see some things from months before we started dating, that still bothers me. Messages about his ex-FWB, how hot she is, how hot it is that she is a masochist (I'm not one), etc. I even saw pictures he had shared in the GC of many, many nudes she had sent him and pictures he took while they were having sex, in many different positions (with her consent, she's into it). It bothers me it looks to be using the same BDSM equipment he uses on me, the same positions he likes me in, etc. It makes me paranoid he's thinking about her when he's having sex with me. From the pictures it was apparent she is more sexually confident than I am, which makes sense given she has a much bigger sexual history than I do, he only just took my virginity, but still, it makes me scared he wishes I was more like her. This thoughts show up in my head almost any time we do anything sexual together, it's horrible and obviously makes it very hard to be fully there and enjoy it
(3) I also saw a message he sent in the GC 8 days after him and I had met: “I asked \ex-fwb* if she wanted to fuck just now, she's online she’s ignoring me lol”.* This was 8 days after we met, 8 days after he sent a message to that same GC about how he met a cute girl and he thinks that she likes him (me). We weren't official, didn't become so until 5 days after he sent that ex-fwb message, but still, it kind of hurts he wishes to hook up with her once more even after we had met, we had had our first date at that point. Especially also because he has told me multiple times that having sex with her reassured him that sex just as a means to get off wasn't for him, and that it was the emotional intimacy that made it important to him, he said he didn’t even enjoy it, wasn’t even attracted to her body type, etc…. yet he wanted to do it again? I fear he lied to me.
(4) There were also some messages from the past about his ex. He send various different texts various different occasions about how he loves how extremely outgoing and sociable she is and that they can have such intelligent discussions. I feel like him and I never discuss things back and forth. I also am very, very much the opposite of "sociable", I am very quiet and subdued, I like to observe more than anything and talking to strangers makes me nervous. He also send a comment about how his ex, at the time when they were dating, had "perfect big boobs", which makes me insecure since mine are much more on the smaller side.
This is me being insecure. I am aware of that, fully. I want to fix it. I am in queue for therapy, but for now I’m doing my best with what I can do. It is absolutely exhausting, the way everything makes me second guess myself. I've never felt as insecure as I do now. I've considered breaking up multiple times, even though I love him and really can see myself having a family with him in the future, just because it is so draining and I feel much more insecure now than I ever did before we were dating. The little insecurity that I do show him willingly, he will go on to reassure me a ton.. he's very loving, supportive and reassuring that he loves me for how I am, he's called me more attractive, trustworthy, more compatible, etc, that any girl he had a relationship with before, so it's not as if he is trying to make me insecure or anything. It's all in my head. How do I improve from this? ANY advice appreciated x
TL;DR: I'm struggling with insecurities in my relationship with my boyfriend of 9 months. I find myself comparing myself to his exes and feeling inadequate. I've discovered past messages about his ex-FWB and ex-girlfriend that exacerbate my anxiety, from before we were dating. Including him calling his ex-FWB hot, sharing the nudes she sent him, sharing pictures he took while they were having sex (with her consent). It makes me extremely insecure and worried that he prefers her, or is thinkig about her when we do stuff.
Also about his ex, about how he thinks she's so amazing for being sociable and outgoing and I am the completely opposite. I worry that he wishes I was more like her.. I feel jealous and uncomfortable with the fact that he has liked his ex-FWB provocative IG pics last summer and I worry he will start liking her pictures again this summer when she starts to wear less clothing again, despite them seemingly not having been in contact since she ghosted him. I'm aware of my insecurities and seeking therapy, but it's not readily available. My boyfriend is supportive, but I fear my insecurities may damage our relationship. How do I repair my insecurities?

Hey there, I'm looking for someone new to talk to with the possibility of it becoming something more! (as the title says, I do prefer much larger body types as they're cute to me, but please know I'm not looking for sexual chat!) I really love learning about people, and would love to learn about someone new, about their passions and interests, and have someone who loves doing the same in return! I ideally would like to talk on discord eventually!
As the title says, I'm definitely more of a nerd than anything, haha. I love reading, cooking and baking, video games, and generally more homebody hobbies. I currently live in California and I'm going to start my first year of College this fall! To describe myself, I'm around 5'10, dark brown hair, hazel eyes, and I'm on the chubby side myself (although I'm losing weight, down 10 pounds and counting!). I'm also asexual, so I'd like someone who's okay with that!
For a partner, I'd ideally want someone genuine and caring, and while not required, it'd really help if you shared some of my hobbies! I don't have many appearance preferences, tbh!

It almost seems like breakups happen to every human being. It’s like we are all supposed to go thru them to help better ourselves and give us more strength mentally and physically. And it also teaches us many life lessons about ourselves, who to love and trust, what to look out for, self respect ect. It’s almost as if breakups are a canon event. (Yes I’m quoting across the spider verse ). 😭

The Last Faith is what you get when you combine the tone and allure of Bloodborne mixed with the flowing combat and sheer coolness of Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Theres also a sprinkle of Blasphemous in there, for some reason. It's also a game that isn't quite sure if it wants to be a souls-like and near-copy of Bloodborne or just a simple metroidvania. In two sentences i've probably confused you. Good, now we're both on the same page. This is The Last Faith.
The Last Faith puts you in the shoes of Eryk. Eryk is a swell guy. He cares for everyone, questions little, never says a mean word and goes out of his way to help out hapless NPC's as well literal monsters. While everyone around him is content to compliment him on his combat prowess, Eryk thinks he's just a dude. Does that sound like the main character of a game that's basically 2D Bloodborne? It's a mismatch for the tone of the game and while it wasn't enough to take me out of the experience, I couldn't help but feel he belongs in another game. Animal Crossing: New Horizons, maybe? He'd make a killing on the stalk market.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"2Blood, 2 Blasphemous"

He's also afflicted with... something. And oh boy, when that something finally reveals itself it.. oh wait it doesn't ever fully reveal itself. This game's version of "souls" is called "Nycrux." Sigh. Can we just call them souls, please? For the love of the moon presence we don't need cute names for the currency with every souls-like. In typical souls-like fashion though the Nycrux is also what our character is afflicted by. I think. What does it do? No clue! Did I even pay attention to the story?! Dude I tried. I really did. The notes and item descriptions did little to help me piece together the story, unlike FromSoftware games. It's utterly non-sensical.
Speaking of potions and ammo, this game is VERY similar to Bloodborne. Unlike Elden Ring or the Souls series, you have health potions that do not refill upon death. You have to find them in the world or buy them. Just like Bloodborne. The same goes for ammo. This wasn't an issue. The game throws so many health potions at you and they're so cheap to buy I had nearly 200 at the end. Which begs the question, why even do this? Because Bloodborne did it? There's little tension in death when I have 15 heals and know I can easily go get 50 more in a matter of minutes.
Combat is standard fare but feels quite good. Let's take a look at some super cool bullet points!

• You have a light attack and you are also able up charge up that attack which I did precisely 6 times and never again because it's utterly useless.
• Each weapon also has a unique (or somewhat unique) weapon art. In addition you have whats called a Stigma and this allows you to use various abilities such as a shield, parry or something else I found to be rarely helpful which is thebeast mode.
• Combat revolves around rolling, attacking and learning enemy patterns. Parries and block's don't factor in as much here but they absolutely can if you are dedicated to pulling them off. And they feel great!
• My play-style started as your standard strength build and then morphed into a mage who used a big ass scythe. So like a DEX/INT build. Very grim, very reaper.
• The spells themselves are varied and quite cool and are good for helping you to get in close. The game also features guns. I used them to varying degrees but they all worked well and while I never felt like I NEEDED to use them, I had fun with them nonetheless.
• Like any souls-like, you can level up your character (STR, DEX, INT, etc) as well as your weapon. Each weapon will scale depending on what stats you invest in and the game is VERY generous with its scaling.
• Weapon requirements exist and I cannot for the life of me figure out why. You can wield any weapon or spell in the game regardless if you have the stats or not and the only penalty is a slight decrease in damage.
• Your roll has I-frames. And sometimes it doesn't. It was frustrating be able to doge into a projectile and come out unscathed and then I try it again with a different move and get hit.
• Bosses varied wildly in difficulty. Some where extremely easy while the last few bosses has me questioning my sanity. Very few were inspired, but they all felt right at home in the world.

Now lets talk about how this is as a metroidvania. Every area in the game features a myriad of locked doors, hidden alcoves and plenty of spikes to insta-kill you. There's a plethora of platforming segments and none of them are particularly difficult. You won't find the punishing difficulty of Aeterna Noctis or the intricate and rage inducing, but satisfying platforming of Blasphemous. Instead it's primarily ability based. You'll find quite a bit of fun to be had in gaining abilities and marrying the light platform sections with learning enemy patterns.
The mood and atmosphere in the game are absolutely superb, but the environments don't reflect this as well as they could have. You have your standard ice area and swamp area, but for the most part it's just houses and caves. For me, the pacing of when you get abilities varied wildly. Being a metroidvania, there are a number of zones to choose from and some you can miss entirely. Depending on your path you may find the game doles out abilities far too slowly and it just feels like you're not progressing.
I didn't even get one of the coolest abilities until right before the end because I just happened to miss a tiny path barely viable on the map that led to an entire zone. Because of course it did. When you play a metroidvania, these are the things you accept going in and it's what makes these games special. I do wish the game would have had a more set progression path for your abilities, however.
All in all, I enjoyed my time with The Last Faith. Part of me feels this would have been better off as just a metroidvania or Castlevania-like, but it does combat and movement well and has a top notch atmosphere. I recommend The Last Faith.
Some random things that didn't fit in the main body of the review.

• When you die to a boss, your "Nycrux" spawns right there with you at the checkpoint. I greatly appreciate that. Boss corpse runs are the WORST. But also kind of fun if i'm being honest.
• Status effects in this game are utterly useless against bosses, as I only got one status effect to proc on a boss ONE time in the entire game.
• A massive issue I have with this game is this insane input delay after you roll or dash. I cut the section on it as this is already too long but it nearly ruined some boss fights for me. You have to HOPE you are already perfectly positioned when a boss does a big AOE and if not, oh well. That input delay isnt letting you get out of the way in time.
• Hope you like Monster Closets, because very frequently this game will lock you in a room with a gauntlet of spawning enemies and wont let you leave until they're dead.
• The Game has 3 endings and some pretty cool hidden bosses. One of which was the best fight in the game and isn't too hidden. The game leads you to it quite well, actually!

This is my first script. Please be kind. If it sucks, it sucks, but I had fun writing it nonetheless.
Please link me if you use/fill it. I would love to hear your take on it. Free to monetize, Youtube, Patreon, whatever, I just want to hear it. :)
Please give me credit: RE: My Darling / Remy Darling

Scene setter: Italics
SpeakeVA: Bold text with "quotes" outside of the sentence/phrases
Internal monologue: Bold/italics
Action of character or SFX: ((Double Parenthesis))
Response from a character: ((pause))

Speaker: You are Killian James a.k.a. Hook. Your eyes are the color of the sea, your hair is dark as night, and you are dashing, troubled, and flirtatious. The lilt of an accent gives you a melodic tone, and your personality is dark, playful, and direct. You are comfortable in three-piece suits, and are a dangerous man with many secrets.
Listener: Your name is Wendy. Your friends have convinced you to go to a bar downtown in the more dangerous part of the city due to rumors, only they end up bailing without you. You are going to go home after you finish your drink. The bar is called Never Land, Where, according to your friends rumors, the owner is a mysterious man that they all seem fascinated with. Apparently, he is tall, dark, and handsome – a devil of a man that goes by a strange name. They call him… Hook.

((SFX – The club is above this basement 'torture chamber' area-you can hear the music of the club playing muffled. The basement area is clean and not dungeon-y but is more of a modern torture chamber with drains for easy ah… clean up))
SCENE: There is a man chained/tied up. Hook enters the room, looking almost bored that he needs to be there. He takes off his jacket, handing it to one of his henchmen, leaving the vest on, before he unbuttons his cuffs and starts rolling the sleeves up.
“I’m not pleased that our shipment is late, Mr. Jukes. It was supposed to arrive on a super yacht named the ‘Jolly Roger’ today with a bunch of rich snobs who were none the wiser. Your men guaranteed me that it would arrive with the staff and be loaded off on the dock shortly after, however, that is yet to come to fruition, and I am not a patient man.”
((SFX: VA puts on leather gloves, stretches fingers and gets comfortable in them))
“I am aware that they have taken a detour due to a storm, Jukes – but your mismanagement of my time, and my money, are not to be forgotten. Bad form, Jukes! Bad form!”
((SFX: dragging knife sound – //our character uses a tactical Hook knife. It’s typically for gutting deer – not really necessary to know, it’s just to flesh out the character for you//, Hook approaches slowly))
“I know it won't happen again. Don’t worry, Jukes, since this is your first time having erred with me, I shall simply leave you with a small reminder. I expect the shipment to be directed to our port swiftly, otherwise, I won’t be nearly as lenient again.”
((SFX chains straining, screaming that becomes muffled screaming, as Hook takes his knife and leaves the man with a Cheshire Grin/Glasglow Smile up one side of his face, heavy breathing for a moment, as he returns and throws his knife down on the table))
“Get me my other three-piece suit from my office and a clean shirt. I’ve got this bastard’s blood all over me. He's not to be given his freedom until I hear that the shipment has come in from the Jolly Roger. If it does not go to plan – we will have to take further, more drastic actions and I don’t want to have to find this cad, Mr. Jukes, again. Do I make myself clear?”
((henchmen answer))
“Good.”
((SFX – him pulling off the leather gloves and getting changed))
“One of you stay here and watch him. Tonight I’ll be on the club floor. I’m not to be interrupted until The Crocodile has made contact. Is that understood?”
((pause))
“Good. That is all.”
((he leaves))

((SFX – transition to this however you like))
\*modern day, bar scene/sounds (*no* jazz or classical music - it's a nightclub), people mingling in the background. In enters our VA/Hook.*

“Tinkerbell, pour me my usual, will you, dear?”
((Tink is quick, and slides him his drink. Sip, sigh, and pause as he looks around)) (( This internal thought is not necessary but if you want to, go for it ))
\*internal thought*\** Who’s this? Oh my, sweet lamb, you are definitely in the wrong place.
“Tink, one last thing, could you possibly tell me anything about that young woman there? The one in light blue.”
((listening intently for a moment))
“Hm. Lovely. Thank you, dear.”
((SFX – he puts down his drink, footsteps/fine Italian leather shoes approaching the young lady who is at the bar))
“Well, well, well… Isn’t that a beautiful dress on an even more beautiful woman. That color of blue really suits you. You… are a piece of art. A fascinating and intriguing piece of art. However, you don’t quite seem like you belong here.”
((pause))
“Someone as divine as you, as *innocent* as you, dressed as you are, doesn’t really seem to fit in. Not in this kind of place. You look more like you would fit in one of the high-class jazz lounges uptown. Martinis, a piano player, velvet couches and the like. Do you think that you fit in amongst these gentlemen of fortune and these women dressed in their slinky club clothes? Look around, do you see the patrons here?”
((short pause as she looks around))
“Don’t you see? You are simply dressed too elegantly for a place like this. No, you, my dear, are definitely not the type that belongs amongst these fiends. You belong uptown. Not here, amongst the dregs of society like us. Your mannerisms are too graceful, you walk with pride and your chin up – this is not the body language of one of my people.”
((pause))
“Well, I happen to own this establishment, Never Land, so I am rather familiar with the likes of the people who tend to come through its doors, and I have never seen you before. You seem quite unforgettable. Could I have the pleasure of having your name?”
((pause))
“Wendy… What a lovely name for such a lovely woman. Well, Wendy, darling – my name is Killian. My friends call me Hook.”
((pause))
“So many questions! What an inquisitive slip of a thing you are. Perhaps, we could talk over a drink?”
((*VA snaps fingers* Bartender Tinkerbell approaches immediately and waits)) ((ListeneWendy begins to decline))
“Don’t fret, darling. It’s just a drink. Should you find yourself not interested in our conversation or in me, you are more than welcome to leave and go back uptown to the *safe* areas of the city, where the likes of people like me and my ilk will be of no bother to you ever again. But should I pique your interest, perhaps allow me the grace of your presence again in the future.”
((pause))
“Just one drink. And nothing more.”
((ListeneWendy accepts))
“Delightful! Tink, if you could get us another round. One of whatever the lady was drinking, and my usual.”
((short pause as he takes her in before sighing and leaning in closer to speak to her))
“Darling, do tell me, why have you wandered into the seedy underbelly of our city? What is it exactly that you are searching for? Mystery? Intrigue?"
((whispers // into her ear))
"...*Danger*?”
((VA leans back and there is a sly curling of his lips into a crooked smile))
“Mm, that blush really does make me think that you truly are as innocent as I originally thought, Darling. Albeit, I am sure you knew what kind of danger you could get into coming to a place like this. You may be looking for danger, but it seems danger has found you instead.”
((pause))
“Oh, yes, danger. There is plenty of danger here. However, it seems like that’s something you seem to be searching for. Should I inquire as to –“
((VA leans in once more))
“What *kind* of danger you are looking for? See, Darling, that’s the thing about danger… You may only want a little but you never truly know how much you’re going to get.”
((pause))
((VA - practically whispered across her lips or ear, you imagine how close you want to get))
“Ah, yes, Wendy, darling. I happen to be very… Very… Dangerous.”
((Listener steps back))
((he gives a low chuckle))
“Do I … make you … Nervous?”
((short pause and VA steps forward as Listener shakes her head defiantly))
“Or perhaps, I am not the kind of danger you are looking for?”
((closer))
“Do you even *know* what you are looking for, my little lamb?”
((dangerously close to her))
((pause))
((drinks come at this time delivered by Tink – VA returns to less invasive persona))
"Ah, thank you, Tink. You’ve impeccable timing. Shall we? I’d love to take this to a VIP booth I prefer to sit in. It will give us a little more privacy and won’t be as loud. Come now, pet."
((footsteps/music/whatever SFX have them move to a slightly quieter place, sit in a booth))
"Do you mind, Darling? I’d much rather be sitting next to you than across the table. That way I can hear you better. Yes, that’s it, just move in a little further."
((this gives no escape for Listener as James/Hook is between the easy exit and her – SFX of her moving over if you want to get technical and him sitting next to her))
((pause))
“Ah, *that*. The name Hook… It is simply from a childhood long ago. Raised in an orphanage with many other lost boys like myself. It’s a truly heartbreaking story, I’m sure, but I’d like you to remember our first meeting in a different light. Not melancholy and deep, dark secrets. Not yet, anyway. Perhaps, if you decide to embark on a journey with me in the future, or are willing to grace me with your presence again, we can discuss it then.”
((Listener nods, nervously))
((he leans in))
“But you, Wendy, darling –“
((whispered // reaches out to draw a finger down her jawline as he looks from her eyes to her mouth))
“You still haven’t answered me.”
((pause))
“About what *kind* of danger you are looking for…”
((pause // leaning in))
“Are you looking for something – just a wee bit threatening? Perhaps something that will get the heart pumping momentarily?”
((pause // leaning in))
“Or perhaps, a singular thrilling night before the sun rises and the fun is over?”
((pause // leaning in))
“Or… are you looking for something darker? Something much more dangerous. Something soul shattering that will devour you whole? Something that makes you question your morals… Your boundaries… Something that will burn you to ash and will leave you begging me for more even once I break you?”
((kisses Wendy))
“Do you know what kind of danger you want yet, darling? That last one… It is not a wise idea for a sweet little lamb like you, but I promise... You’ll love it.”

Hey! This is my (24F) first post on here but I’ve been lurking for a short time and you guys actually (unknowingly) helped me navigate how to land my first seasonal position! Currently in Maine for the summer season working at a cute seaside bed and breakfast, I’m originally from Louisiana. Mainers love my southern accent and my co-workers are so nice and the management is great too so far so I’m blessed and lucky to have a good first season job, I’m about to hold all other jobs I️ potentially get to this same standard of hospitality that they’re showing me here haha.
I’m really enjoying seasonal work and wanted to ask you guys what’s a good time to start applying to winter seasonal work? I’m a front desk agent, that’s where my “talents” lie haha, but this current job is asking me to bartend as well which I️ don’t mind because I’ve actually always wanted to learn bartending (new skill unlocked!), so I’m aiming for a ski resort preferably in Aspen or Vail but I’m open to Utah or California as well with Wyoming as a last option (not interested in Wyoming much but will go where the money is🤷🏽‍♀️). I️ can start whenever they ask, I’m a single 24 year old with no kids with really nothing else going on in life, the goal is to just save as much as I️ can, I️ heard people save a lot during seasons work and then travel in the off season which is what I️ wanna do while I’m still young. Also do you guys have any ski resort recommendations that you had like a good experience with? Thank you guys so much in advance and let me just gather my questions into one section, I’m aware I️ rambled a lot.
TL:DR 1. When to apply for winter season while in my summer season? 2. Am looking to apply in Aspen, Vail, Telluride or Snowmass, Colorado. If not, Utah and California with Wyoming as a last option. 3. What are some good ski resorts to work at regardless of state?

My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated. I also set up my individual therapy sessions.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL; DR : Do you think therapy will help?

I (17F), and my girlfriend Emma (17F) have been been dating a little over 6 months now. I love her, and I think she’s a wonderful person. But I’m not happy in every aspect of the word. I am independent person, someone who likes time in their own thoughts and to just be. Emma is a very clingy person, which I know is just a part of her personality and not something she can just switch off. But she texts me all day every day, and always needs to be near me especially when we’re at school.

 I truly do care for her and love to be around her I think I’m just overwhelmed when it’s happening to such a degree. I am also a bit sensitive about physical touch and it’s her primary love language. I see our friends who are couples showing PDA and I know she wants that I just can’t do it. If anything I just feel bad and like I can’t be enough for her. I’m not upset with her for being clingy I just wish I wasn’t so weird about it. I know the obvious answer would be to talk to her about it, but there’s a few things about that. I don’t want her to think she’s doing something wrong, or like she can’t talk to me. Because she’s not, it’s a me issue anyway. But I also just feel like between asking her to not show PDA without asking me, and to not use a baby voice when talking to me (like calling me cute and adorable in a higher pitched voice) I’ve already asked for “too much”. I don’t want her to feel like she can’t be herself around me. There’s a few other things I may elaborate on later but I just want advice on what to do. Is there any way I can keep my space while giving her the attention she needs. Is there a way I can get over my sensitivity for physical touch? 

Context: Me(26M) and her(27F) met in our common friend's birthday (simple get together and drink), the venue is somewhere in Ortigas and I forgot the place because I'm from Cavite but it's his house. At first I honestly turned on by her because of the sex appeal (almost 5 feet long haired with tattoos on her both arms) but I'm too shy and nervous so my friend helped me to know her.
After that, my social battery went out so I find some place that I can recharge. I bought some cigarettes and got myself a drink and just sat down outside the house while they are business drinking and talking. I freaking love the moon so bad and while drinking (also recharging my social battery) I can't help but to think about life. All of a sudden she just pop out in my back saying "Can I have some cig ?" So yeah I gave her then she just sat beside me asking what's my deal in life, how did I know our common friend, etc.
Honestly my brain isn't functioning very that time because I was tipsy (on the verge of getting drunk) and I'm just smiling like a fucking idiot while she was talking, and then she asked me "what's wrong ? Are you messing with me ba or what ?" And I replied "no, it's just you are so fucking cute while you talk". And yup, after few shots I was definitely drunk and kissed that girl. The last thing I remembered is that we're making out in the back of her car, after that we go inside the house like nothings happened.
The party ended around 3-4 am I think and I kinda want to go home because I have something to do, didn't know that she's waiting for me outside and asked if I want to come with her and get another drink somewhere. Me being a self-destructive human being I came along, we arrived at this bar (around cubao) and drink few bottles of beers. I puke like a fucking looser after that and she just laughing at me, some puke got on my shirt and pants so she offered me that I just stay at her condo. Okay whatever, after I washed myself and the clothes I went to her sofa to sleep. I thought she's sleeping too but things got out of hand, yes we do the deen on her sofa. At first I was scared because I didn't bring any protection in me but she assured me that it's fine coz she's taking pills for her PCOS.
After that scary pregnancy thing, we do the deed few times. Until it wears me out, myself slaps me hard as fuck ! Aside from recently break-up with my girlfriend I have personal issues (and mental issues) that I need to resolve and yes PANGIT MAGING ESCAPE ANG FUBU/ONS/FWB/ETC. After a few days of not talking to her, I found the courage to talk to her personally and end the FUBU set up with her. At first she begged, but I stopped her, I kinda traumatized with people who beg in front of me coz I remembered myself.
After few weeks of cutting her off, she called me and wants to meet again and I said no, do you think that I do the right thing ?

this is my first time posting but i’m trying to give as much detail w/o people being able to figure out who i am (throwaway account just in case) so if you have any questions or suggestions please feel free to ask or lmk in the comments.
i (19f) had a birthday this week and decided it would be fun to go out with my friends on the weekend since we are all so busy with work and moving back home from college. most of us were available for the time and day i set so we were good to go. all week i’ve been so excited to see everyone since it’s been about 6 months since we’ve all been together since our lives have been changing a lot in this year that most of us have graduated from high school.
well come today i was getting ready and found a really cute dress that i just love since it just looks great on me and i pair it with a crop top that’s too small but works with the dress but it doesn’t fully cover my chest (big problem since i hate bras) so the dress has to fully cover it (if that makes sense). i shower, do my makeup, get dressed, and meet everyone giving out hugs and catching up at our first destination, an arcade. we have a great time playing games and hanging out beating each other in games we haven’t played in years it’s great. i decided to join a waitlist for a restaurant close so we could have better food and we have a kinda big party so i didn’t want to chance having to wait too long once we got there (important for later).
we start to cash out our tickets for candy and knickknacks and head over to the restaurant to meet up with more friends. when we get out our cars i text to check us in. we stand and wait outside for the second text message saying we can head inside. while talking we see our friends pull in then my best friend texts me to fix my dress. me being the idiot that i am stands up and asks what’s wrong not feeling the breeze on my breasts that have fallen through my two layers of clothes. i’m still so embarrassed and have no clue what to do i’m just still in shock 5 hours later. idk who all saw but i’m so scared that the guy i like saw me like that or even worse if the people around us saw it’s just so embarrassing idk what or how to feel about it i understand it’s an accident but i wish i could’ve avoided it and i feel like i could’ve. really just looking for advice or anything that could take my mind off of it, thank you!
TL;DR- i accidentally flashed my friends and maybe some people in front of a restaurant because i go braless.

I (17F), and my girlfriend Emma (17F) have been been dating a little over 6 months now. I love her, and I think she’s a wonderful person. But I’m not happy in every aspect of the word. I am an independent person, someone who likes time in their own thoughts and to just be. Emma is a very clingy person, which I know is just a part of her personality and not something she can just switch off. But she texts me all day every day, and always needs to be near me especially when we’re at school.

 I truly do care for her and love to be around her I think I’m just overwhelmed when it’s happening to such a degree. I am also a bit sensitive about physical touch and it’s her primary love language. I see our friends who are couples showing PDA and I know she wants that I just can’t do it. If anything I just feel bad and like I can’t be enough for her. I’m not upset with her for being clingy I just wish I wasn’t so weird about it. I know the obvious answer would be to talk to her about it, but there’s a few things about that. I don’t want her to think she’s doing something wrong, or like she can’t talk to me. Because she’s not, it’s a me issue anyway. But I also just feel like between asking her to not show PDA without asking me, and to not use a baby voice when talking to me (like calling me cute and adorable in a higher pitched voice) I’ve already asked for “too much”. I don’t want her to feel like she can’t be herself around me. There’s a few other things I may elaborate on later but I just want advice on what to do. Is there any way I can keep my space while giving her the attention she needs. Is there a way I can get over my sensitivity for physical touch? 

Recently, I got “broken up” with by someone I was talking to, which I was hoping would become a relationship.
At first, I was feeling salty because we had been sexting and sending pictures prior to this, so I felt that I was being vulnerable for no reason, but I just went in my photo album and saw pictures of him and I during FaceTime. Luckily, these photos were live so I can heard my laughter and see his cute smile and cute face. It made me realize how happy we were during those moments and how amazing he was, he barely had red flags, I’d say they were just flaws he could work on.
The best way to explain his flaw is that he’s like rick sanchez(from rick and morty), so damn smart (he loved science and physics) but when it comes to him being wrong or in an emotional situation, he can be stubborn and self-absorbed. We stopped talking because I ss messages of him and I talking about how I felt that he could’ve told me he didn’t want me before I was vulnerable to him for my journal to process more on how I felt. (I didn’t think it was a big deal because I thought we trusted each other) He didn’t like that I did and blocked me, I honestly kept trying to contact him to get him to understand that I wasn’t going to show anyone but he didn’t want to hear it.
It’s been about a week or so, I miss him, I miss hearing him be a nerd, I miss his corny jokes, I miss hearing him complain, but I understand that he doesn’t want to talk so I have nothing to do but to respect that. I truly do appreciate the time of laughter and bonding we had even if it was short-lived.
I really really like him and thank him. <33

My (ex)fiancé and I had been together for almost 6.5 years, engaged for almost 2.5. Over the last several months, my (ex)fiancé has sat me down to talk about our relationship about once a month. Before these conversations, he would shut down and barely speak to me for several days even when I would ask what was wrong. Then he would finally tell me he was ready to have a conversation and would express his frustrations with the relationship. By the time of our conversations, I would already be on the defensive from his recent behavior. I also generally do not receive feedback well. When he would try to tell me that he was unhappy in our relationship because I didn't compliment him enough, flirt with him enough, or tell him I loved him enough, I would shut down. I was not able to hear what he was really trying to tell me. Instead, I put up a wall and told him to love me for who I am. I basically asked him "If I'm happy in our relationship despite my frustrations, why can't you be?" I now realize that is not an appropriate or healthy response when your partner is trying to communicate with you.
I did try to hear him. I gifted him some lingerie for the first time and let him take a boudoir photo shoot of me wearing it. I started sending a few more cute messages. I tried to make more time to cuddle with him when he would ask. I tried to give him more hugs. I tried to thank him more for picking up around the house. I wrote him a cute letter and surprised him with a few gifts for Easter. However, about a month ago, we had another one of those conversations. Except this time the first things he brought up were 'wondering what else is out there' and talking about how other girls are always complimenting him. Again came the walls and extra defensiveness. I ended up writing him a letter talking about how I didn't know if I could ever be what he wanted me to be and that maybe he should think about calling things off. This was obviously a defense mechanism to try to beat him to the punch line and talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Three weeks later he would sit me down and tell me he wanted to know what else was out there again and that he didn't know if he could go through with marrying me. My efforts did not feel like enough for him and I understand why. I was having a hard time connecting my emotions with my actions which made my actions seem reactionary and not genuine or provoked by love.
I have been through a lot more trauma in my life than I realized. My dad was in the Navy while I was growing up. We had to move every three years. A very pivotal point in my life was when we moved when I was in the 6th grade. I lived right next door to my best friend. I was finding my love for math and theater. I also played soccer and was a Girl Scout. When we moved, I became very depressed, though I didn't understand that's what it was at the time. I stopped all of my extracurricular activities. I stopped getting too close to people because I knew I would have to move or they would have to move eventually. I mostly stayed in my room and kept to myself, even from my family. I also have struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. Then, in my senior year of high school, I got my first-ever boyfriend. We were in a relationship for over 4 years. In that relationship, I would always be the one to try to talk about our problems. I would be the one who would always want longer hugs and more cuddles. But it was not a healthy relationship. We broke up and got back together many times. I found several illicit texts to other girls on multiple occasions and he would always gaslight me by saying his younger brother stole his phone or I misinterpreted the messages. I think this caused me not to want to show my emotions because it wasn't reciprocated and resulted in heartache. Then, three years ago my younger brother died in a tragic car accident at the age of 17.
When I realized I could lose the love of my life, I realized that he was right about me not being affectionate enough. I had built up walls to protect myself. I thought I had made progress on my anxiety and depression, but I realized I was wrong. I also realized that I have issues with communication, trust, and vulnerability. I was a great partner in other ways and I did express my love in other ways. I moved across the country, coast to coast, with him to a state where I didn't know anyone so that he could attend his dream school. I take care of the household. I get the majority of the groceries. I do all of the cooking. I do all of the maintenance cleaning. I take care of our 2 cats and 1 dog. I say all of those in the present tense because we currently still live together but are sleeping in separate rooms. I also financially supported him by lending him money and letting him pay less of the rent because I made more money. I accept all of him including that he has terrible time management skills, he can have a hard time controlling his emotions at times, and he is disorganized and messy. I also accepted that I would have to wait for marriage and children because of his school and accepted that he did not have a lot of free time between school, work, and his hobbies. I supported his love for his hobbies by accepting his purchasing of expensive equipment even when he owed me money, traveling to watch several events that were important to him, and traveling to see him win an award from his job. I would write heartfelt cards for every holiday. I also bought him dozens of children's books about love that I wanted us to read to our children one day.
When I realized I could lose him, I felt something change inside me. It was like I could feel a hole being blown in the wall I had built up. I felt all my love for him overwhelm me. I couldn't hug him, kiss him, or tell him I love him enough. I tried to talk to him to apologize for my behavior and how badly I'd hurt him. I tried to explain how I felt like a different person and how I really wanted to work hard on improving myself as a partner to make our relationship work. I tried to prove my words with actions. I wrote a list of things I needed to work on including communication and being more affectionate. I also wrote out a list of ways to work on those things and actually started doing the things on the list. Some of the items I had already begun to do like hug and kiss him more and tell him I love him more. I also tried to ask more questions about his interests/hobbies/day. I was more vulnerable and talked with him about my feelings more. I even initiated intimacy, something I had really only done once in a blue moon when I was intoxicated. I also set up my individual therapy sessions.
Despite all of my efforts, over the next two weeks, he continued to say he did not know if he could be with me and wanted to know what else was out there. He was very wavering and said multiple times "I don't know what the right decision is." He said he could not trust that my changes would last and that it was probably too late. I begged him to try couples therapy, but he refused and said "Therapy takes too long" and basically said it wasn't worth the time. He finally broke up with me after 2 weeks of going back and forth and I was devastated. He later talked to a mutual friend of ours and changed his mind about therapy. I was so happy to hear that he had changed his mind. However, now I feel like I can't even trust him anymore. He's turning into a person I don't recognize and I don't know what he's capable of anymore. I don't know if the man I love still exists. When he told me he was now agreeable to try therapy he said "We're still broken up, but I won't talk to any other girls." and then promptly said "And it will give me more time to find a place to live if things don't work out." He deleted several Instagram posts that had photos of me after he agreed to try therapy which makes me think he's not actually that open to healing our relationship. He complained to me about how he might have to take out student loans after I told him he needed to pay me for half of the rent while we're broken up and not decreased rate he had been paying me. He also "checked on me" on the night of the 3rd year anniversary of my brother's death when he heard me crying. Then he just sat on the end of the bed scrolling his phone while I cried as if he was checking on me because he felt like he had to and not because he wanted to. When I asked him if he had some sort of deadline in mind for the therapy, because he had previously mentioned that it takes too long, he said July or August and I have a suspicion that is because a girl he likes is leaving for summer break but will be back at the end of August for the next semester.
I just feel like the way he has been acting is not how you act towards someone you were in a relationship with for almost 6.5 years. Especially after saying you still love them and have no negative feelings towards them. That means even though you don't think you are a good relationship match, you should still want to treat them with respect. You should care that they are hurting during this time. You should want to comfort them in their grief of a separate event. You should mean it if you say you want to try therapy.
TL;DR : So should I break up with my ex-fiancé or should I keep fighting to get back the man I love?

I love the way he speaks, he’s an artist and often I find myself thinking oh that’s makes a lot of sense. Sometimes though I don’t agree in a way or don’t subscribe to certain ideas. It’s slightly hard because it feels wonderful when you do so and he’s a great talker so he could almost swindle me into believing what I don’t just so I can play my mind with the toys he leaves me with. Maybe to an extent it makes me wonder if he didn’t just do the same and convinced himself for the time he’s speaking just because it’s fun to play with things even if you don’t fully believe them as well or all the time . And on the other hand I even wonder if things don’t lose their meaning and wonderful nature the more you talk about them if you do sort of the same talk over and over . Anyway I digress , my main question is do you ever not agree with something you hear from Alan watts ? If so what ?
Like for instance 3 days ago there was a quote like god likes to play hide and seek and forget who he is . And I thought that a very long time ago at one point and it was a sort of epiphany I thought I am god this tree is god and I get the extra gift of thought to be able to think that it is god looking at itself and that it’s like a feedback loop like when you put a guitar in front of a guitar amp too close and there’s resonance effect ( now with time I can’t tell if I was just being hypomanic but it def felt nice ). Today though when I read things like that I think it’s just man looking at things with the eyes and mind of man , giving anthropomorphic values onto things bc that’s all we can do and as intelligent as we are we can only understand at our level of intelligence or the way things speak to us but doesn’t make them true at all. And it seems like it’s still a man needing a god and traded the god that’s a man in the cloud for the more omnipotent god that is nature and the universe but then giving it/Him thoughts and memory and the power of forgetting and so on which are really a man thing. In short it’s a nice idea if you believe it and maybe it gives one butterfly (it did on me at one point ) but it’s a bit simplistic and narcissistic/mancentric to ascribe « manliness » (for lack of better word ) onto things , although it’s fun to do.

Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/SPm0Fjl
This one hits different. Right from the start, with those ominous vocals giving the whole thing a feeling of foreboding and momentousness. Donald Trump lurking around the stage for his titlecard, even staying onscreen as his titlecard goes away is hilarious and a great visual touch. Then we get Hillary sitting in her debate chair; this battle committing so hard to a location both rappers are present in is pretty unique.
"I've been in this game too long; I'm a public servant! Have been since I met MLK in person!" Serviceable opening on paper, but the guest actor, Kimmy Gatewood, makes it stick out with her performance. Love the intensity of her voice and facial expressions. "I'm a woman of the people; that's for certain. You're a man of the people who don't like turbans!" This is a great line, very accurate, and I love the look on Hillary's face. "I was living in the West Wing while you were professional wrestling. Got skin like Russian dressing from too much Russian investing!" Good lines, in particular I really dig the Russian dressing/Russian investing parallel. Also, while I don't think Kimmy bears a super strong resemblance to Hillary Clinton(the guest actress from Clinton v. Henry VIII was much more on-point) she does look a lot like her as she does the Russian dance in the background. Something about her wide-open smile. "You been going bankrupt since the 90s; if I was in Iran you couldn't find me." Very true on both counts, very solid line. I don't know what more there is to say. Is it gonna be controversial to acknowledge the reality that Trump's gone bankrupt lots of times and probably couldn't point to Iran on a map, even now that he's been president? "You don't care about the job, Trump, you just think the desk is shiny." I think it's accurate that Trump really only cares about the prestige, but this still seems like a pretty weak attack. Hell, you could argue the vast majority of presidential candidates care more about the prestige than actually doing anything. "I said that I respect your children but that wasn't quite right, yo! Looking like some extras on American Psycho!" This line is pretty fucking great. I didn't get it when this battle first released, but I've seen American Psycho more recently, and comparing the Trump kids to the useless trust fund posers surrounding Patrick Bateman is hilarious. The hyper-aggressive hip thrusting Hillary's doing is also a great visual. For the most part this portrayal doesn't resemble Hillary much, but I think there's some truth in how she's portrayed as being very try-hard here. "First name is Hillary, middle name Rodham, last name is Clinton, and lyrics I got 'em! You fire celebrities on The Apprentice, motha fucka I fire Bin Laden! (Crack!) cough" Being tryhard again. The lines are pretty good, the flow is pretty good. The reference to her coughing is a fun touch. "How do I say this? You're racist! Ooh, you must get so pissed that your hands are too small to stop and frisk!" The asking/answering of that question at the beginning is really funny, and I like the way they worked Trump's small hands into this attack on him for being racist. "So you use your fingers to touch chicks. (She's only 12 years old.) That's enough, shit! (But she's married, sir.) Just gotta get pushy. (That's your daughter.) Well, grab her by the pussy!" One of the highlights of the battle, love the way they worked in the secret service agent here. Pointing out Trump being a creep at child beauty pageants and towards Ivanka are great lines of attack. "That's assault, brotha! Don't tell me the victim's at fault, sucka! You don't know shit about steaks! Yucka! But the ones on the 8th are great! Motha fucka!" Really fun delivery, good attacks, I like that they threw the Trump Steaks jab in between the more serious sentiments. I don't know what the fuck is going on with the background in this section, though they're really going hard on the tryhardness of Hillary. "Better save the date; I'm gonna rock the vote! Bad bitch on the scene like Murder, She Wrote!" Hillary trying to compare herself to that character is pretty cringe, as is highlighted by her attempting to dab with the biggest "look, aren't I cool, kids?!" look on her face. Real "Pokemon Go to the polls" moment. "So go ahead, Donald, let me see you flow. I brought Michelle's speech; borrow some quotes!" It's a pretty great line, though this line is moreso an attack at Melania than Trump himself; she should have ended with a more Trump-focused attack.
"Let me just say I respect all females. But your rhymes are trash; put 'em next to your emails." The first line is funny in how flagrantly untrue it is, the second line is just plain funny. Good opener. "Our country's in crisis. Who wants to vote for the mother of ISIS? That might not be exactly true, but I don't do politeness." Trump talks out of his ass and lies a lot, yes. "(Believe me!) You wanna talk about misogyny? Your Bill's worse than Cosby! He left a mess on that dress like you left in Benghazi!" The comparison of the rapist Bills is a great line, and I'm not sure whether the whole Benghazi thing was actually something that was Hillary's fault or just a Fox News talking head talking point, but it's a good line regardless. Also by this point it's clear that Lloid's Trump impression is on-point, much better than Peter's. "(Terrible!) You wanna break the glass ceiling, Hillary, I sense it. But the only crack you'll find is my ass pressed against it." The gesturing Lloid is doing during the "I sense it" line is fucking hilarious. The second line is also pretty funny, and did turn out to be true. "The numbers are in and I'm right on your tail. You don't have the stamina, baby, you're frail! This will be just like '08 when you fail! But Trump will appoint you to jail!" Fun parallel to Hillary's "First name is Hillary" segment from before going on here. The lines themselves are fine, nothing amazing. The second-to-last one turned out to be true, the last one did not. "How do I say this? You're a 2. And you almost lost the primary to a socialist Jew!" It's pretty funny how Trump mimics Hillary's "How do I say this?" bit, and "you're a 2" is such a simple but funny jab. He's got a point that Hillary was so weak a candidate that Bernie Sanders came outta nowhere and was able to put up a serious competition in a race that was supposed to have no real competition for her. "What do the American people gotta yankee doodle doo, to get it through your fat face, that they're just not that into you?!" The use of 'yankee doodle doo' is funny and he's got a real point that Hillary needs to accept she's very unpopular, though that 'fat face' line is such a pot calling the kettle black moment. No doubt intended as such. "They want a strong male leader who can stand up to China! Not a crooked, little, wishy-washy bleeding heart vagina!" These lines, of course, exist purely to point out that Trump is a giant sexist. The "China, China, China... bloody vagina!" in the background is a very funny touch. Little bits like that just add so much to this battle. "I'm gonna run these streets like I run my casinos; more police and less Latinos!" These lines, of course, exist purely to point out that Trump is a giant racist. "While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks, I'll create jobs, tearing down mosques!" Trump is against programs that help the impoverished and hates Muslims. "Then I'll use all the best rocks from the site to build a wall, dip it in gold and make Mexico pay for it all!" The thing Lloid does with his eyes as he smiles when he says "build a wall" is just... SO Trumpian. This really is one of the greatest Trump impressions I've ever seen, Lloid did an amazing job. As for the line... Trump says he's gonna build a wall. He built a partial wall. A partial, really unimpressive wall. "I'll make this country great again! We'll all be living large! And I'll tell Congress you're fired, and put Charles in charge!" Trump's slogan is MAGA and Charles in Charge was a TV show whose main actor is a Trump supporter. Also apparently there was a Supreme Court judge named Charles Trump once wanted nominated. Alright. "'Cause this whole system's rigged! And we all know the riggers! For the last eight years this country's been run by- (CAW!)" The point of this line is that Trump is a giant racist. I like the touch that the crowd is cheering wildly for Trump while Hillary looks disturbed in the background.
Then Lincoln comes soaring in on an eagle, as he did in Obama v. Romney. "Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah? I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized - (CAW!)" The use of 'CAW!' as a censor is amusing. "I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ! You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed!" This isn't fun anymore, it's just real. "I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit! If this is the best my party gets, then my party should quit!" The Republican Party is a nightmare and Lincoln would be ashamed of it today, is what is being said. "I'm sorry, did I say something that you found funny? Wipe that creepy-ass smile off your face and beat this dummy!" Clinton is a shitty politician who didn't take Trump seriously enough, and she comes across as cold and inhuman. And in case you somehow failed to pick up on it before, ERB makes clear here their endorsement for which candidate to vote for. "And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door. Don't get your fans stirred up in some sorta Twitter civil war!" Too real, especially after January 6th. "Here's an equal opportunity smack down in the sequel! That's of the people, by the people, for the people, eagle!" Some people have debated whether Lincoln slapped Trump twice in place of slapping Clinton at all because he's a gentleman and wouldn't hit a woman, or because ERB favors Clinton over Trump. The latter is definitely true, but the former is also probably true. So... both! Then Lincoln yells "Eagle!" and fucks off.
Let's talk about bias. There's two camps of people I've seen in discussions about certain ERB battles, especially this one, and they both irk me. So let's address both of them.
First off: YES, ERB is biased against Trump. And are biased against Republicans generally, and much more sympathetic to the Democrats. They've made that completely obvious from the beginning. And you know what? That's totally fine! They're right to be biased against them! But for some reason, some people in the fanbase can't just admit that. For some reason, there's a lot of people in the fanbase who will bend over backwards trying to explain how it's actually totally unbiased(false) and they attack both sides equally(false) and people complaining are being salty(true). But if you think ERB is unbiased, then society has failed you, because you are a woeful media illiterate. They're screaming Vote for Hillary, Don't Let Trump Win! at you and somehow you haven't managed to decipher what they're saying. I hope for your sake you're, like, twelve years old if you actually think they're unbiased. Here's an important lesson for you to learn as you grow up: 'biased' does not equate to 'bad'! For example, you SHOULD be 'biased' against Hitler! If you look at someone like Hitler and compare him to someone like MLK and treat them as equally valid figures whose ideas are both worthy of consideration, then you're at best a useful idiot and at worst a Nazi apologist! Stop feeling like you have to defend ERB's honor by feverishly denying any claims of bias!
But even worse than those jokers are the fuckers who love to bitch about how ERB has gotten "too political" or "too woke" nowadays. NEWSFLASH, DUMBASS: the very FIRST battle was John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly, and Bill O'Reilly literally says "Because I'm evil! Heart blacker than Don Cheadle!" Their very foundation as a series is shitting on Republicans! They didn't suddenly 'go woke' just because they stopped doing gay jokes and shat on Trump even more explicitly than they already did to Romney.
Anyway, I've got mixed feelings about this battle. The 'mixed' part of those feelings come from how heavy it is; I have to be in a certain mood to want to listen to this, and most times I see this pop up in my playlist I just skip on to the next one. It's uncomfortable. It's real. Maybe a little too real. But then again, maybe they were right to take it so seriously. It's still a great battle, even if it can be a little hard to come back to. The only big issue I have with it is that Lincoln coming in at the end is kind of a drag. It was funny the first time; this doesn't recapture the magic. He doesn't really have any great lines either. I tend to stop listening by the time he comes in. But besides that, this battle has an amazing instrumental track, great visuals, peak performances from both Lloid and Kimmy, and good, sometimes great, writing.
I used to think Trump won this battle despite always having been anti-Trump. Revisiting it now, I'm not sure why I thought that. Maybe it was because his part was just so entertaining, even moreso than Hillary's. Maybe it's because I, like many others, harbor a strong resentment and bitterness towards Hillary Clinton(muh Bernie) that would lead me to not be entirely honest about her performance here. Maybe it's just because that hardly anybody said Clinton won back in the day; Trump had either a majority or a clear plural majority of votes in polls, then Lincoln with a fair amount, then Clinton with a small fraction. Now I see that that is utter bullshit. The only reason anybody votes for Lincoln is either because of the Last Word Effect or because they want to be centrists about it and not side with either candidate; even if you could argue he was the best part of Obama v. Romney, here his verse falls well short of both Clinton and Trump's. On the question of Clinton v. Trump... I can kind of see how someone might think Trump won on account of how hilarious he was, but a ton of his stuff just makes himself look bad, and if we're being honest I think Clinton had better burns and more substantive lines of attack. I say Clinton>Trump>Lincoln.
inb4 someone says I got "too political" in my presidential election battle analysis