Tl,dr: you're not missing anything
It's Saturday night, and my best friend is out of town. I was bored. Usually I'm a home body, but I decided to get out of the house by myself. Took out the car, stopped by at an NBC to take a beverage along. I'm more of a panwadi-wali-cold coffee type of guy but felt like treating myself for no reason. Went through the menu, Googled what a couple of things exactly meant, still fantasizing about my favourite roadside cold coffee but realising it would probably close by the time I reach. I ended up asking for the thing closest to a generic cold coffee. Ordered it, sat down. It was prepared sooner than I thought. Took a sip, was surprisingly not dissatisfied with it, bai nu keha thanks and left.
Got back in the car, and went out to the arterial roads. I went through GK, Anand Lok and finally Hauz Khas. Now, I have driven by myself at night before and I enjoy it, but sometimes I'm able to extract so much joy out of such a simple thing. At nights, the roads seem roomier, the heat doesn't feel like it's sucking all the water out of you, and generally feeling grateful for a moment of peace amidst all the other uncertainties of life. The time seems to slow down a little, in sync with the speed of the vehicle. Driving slow, appreciating the city in it's dormant glory, listening to Roop Ghuman, Raf Saperra, Hrjxt, Aujla and the like. Another thing I enjoy about solo gedi'an is the fact that there's no-one to criticise or scoff at my slightly unconventional choice of music, which sadly happens so often. (I'm like it's not my fault that your taste is so bad lol.)
Sister called, to ask why I'm taking so long. I didn't realise I had been out a bit longer than expected. Told her I'll be back soon, cut the call, but didn't feel like returning yet, so I turned towards the main Hauz Khas village, not with the intention to go anywhere, just to kill some more time and see what the crowd was like.
The coffee was now getting over, and so was my appetite for being out. I got out of Hauz Khas and onto the Outer Ring Road. The traffic seemed to have swelled up and brought me back to the realities of the city. Ended the gedi, parked the car. I just realised this might be what journaling is. Not bad. Do you guys go for a solo gedi like this too? Maybe you feel it's not safe or not fun alone? Anyways, thanks for reading and good night!

DAY: MAY 17, 2024

• 5-17-2024NEW DATA OUTLINE POSITIVE EFFECTS OF ENDURANCE EXERCISE TRAINING Treadmill training, a form of endurance exercise, was found to be highly effective “with robust improvements in skeletal muscle citrate synthase activity in as little as [one to two] weeks, and improvements in maximum run speed and maximal uptake by [four to eight] weeks.” The full effect of endurance exercise training was previously unexplained until this study. Researchers sought to develop and implement a standardized endurance exercise protocol in more than 340 rats participating in progressive treadmill training five days a week for one, two,
• 5-17-2024CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT FROM SPOUSE MAY DECREASE WELL-BEING FOR SOME PEOPLE As people age, they often need assistance from their spouse or partner to manage their health problems. Though research has examined the emotional and psychological effects that this support has on the caregiver, less research has been conducted on how it affects care recipients
• 5-17-2024WHEN DEPRESSION MEDS DON’T WORK, THIS MAY HELP YOU TURN THE CORNER Some 30 to 40% of patients do not respond to medications for depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), but half of them could be helped by a noninvasive in-office procedure. To mark National Mental Health Awareness Month in May, we talk to psychiatrist Katherine Scangos, M.D., Ph.D., co-director of the Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) and Neuromodulation Program at UC San Francisco. TMS is a logical next step for many patients with an inadequate response to standard
• 5-17-2024CAN OXYTOCIN HELP AGAINST LONELINESS? FINDINGS FROM A RANDOMIZED CONTROLLED TRIAL Loneliness is not a disease. And yet it is a significant health problem. Depression, heart disease or dementia—people who are permanently lonely have a higher risk of becoming ill. The team led by Dr. Jana Lieberz have investigated how loneliness can be specifically combated.
• 5-17-2024STUDY FINDS ANTIOXIDANT DIETARY SUPPLEMENT MAY HELP COUNTER SYSTEMIC SCLEROSIS Oxidative stress is known to exacerbate fibrosis and autoimmunity. In a new study, researchers from Japan have investigated the effects of a dietary antioxidant supplement—Twendee X—on oxidative stress and fibrosis in a mouse model of SSc, an intractable autoimmune disease. Given its effectiveness in other oxidative stress-related diseases including dementia, Twendee X holds the promise of being an effective antioxidant therapeutic against SSc.
• 5-17-2024AUTISTIC PEOPLE’S FEELINGS MOSTLY MISREAD—EMPATHY WORKS BOTH WAYS, RESEARCH REVEALS The idea that autistic people lack empathy is simply short-sighted and non-autistic people may find it just as hard to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, a study suggests. A paper in the journal Autism flips the script on the often-said stereotype that autistic people have difficulty imagining how others feel. Participants shown video clips featuring autistic and non-autistic people retelling emotional events revealed people without autism find it significantly harder to track autistic people’s emotions. It also revealed people felt emotions more intensely in the body
• 5-17-2024STUDY SUGGESTS THAT AIR POLLUTION PROMOTES INFLAMMATION IN THE BRAIN, ACCELERATING CONSEQUENCES FOR DEMENTIA Results from a new study suggest that long-term exposure to air pollution leads to increased risk in dementia in Denmark. “We also find association with noise, but this seems to be explained by air pollution primarily.
• 5-17-2024STUDY SHOWS AEROBIC EXERCISE PERFORMED IN THE EVENING BENEFITS ELDERLY HYPERTENSIVES MORE THAN MORNING EXERCISE Aerobic training is known to regulate blood pressure more effectively when practiced in the evening than in the morning. Researchers who conducted a study of elderly patients at the University of São Paulo’s School of Physical Education and Sports (EEFE-USP) in Brazil concluded that evening exercise is better for blood pressure regulation thanks to improved cardiovascular control by the autonomic nervous system via a mechanism known as baroreflex sensitivity.
• 5-17-2024A LONG-TERM KETOGENIC DIET ACCUMULATES AGED CELLS IN NORMAL TISSUES, NEW STUDY SHOWS A strict “keto-friendly” diet popular for weight loss and diabetes, depending on both the diet and individual, might not be all that friendly. A new study led by researchers at The University of Texas Health Science Center at San Antonio (UT Health San Antonio) found that a continuous long-term ketogenic diet may induce senescence, or aged, cells in normal tissues, with effects on heart and kidney function in particular.
• 5-17-2024US TEEN DIED AFTER DOING SPICY CHIP CHALLENGE: AUTOPSY A US teenager died of cardiac arrest after taking part in a social media challenge daring people to eat a single extremely hot tortilla chip, an autopsy revealed Thursday. Harris Wolobah, a 14-year-old from Massachusetts, died in September after taking part in the so-called “One Chip Challenge”—which involved a single chip produced by Paqui, dusted with Carolina Reaper and Naga Viper peppers. The dare has manifested in several iterations over the years, with the peppers changing each time. The local chief medical examiner determined that Harris died of cardiac arrest
• 5-17-2024IS YOUR CHILD READY FOR SUMMER SLEEPAWAY CAMP? Sleepaway camp can be a lot of fun for kids, but only if they’re ready for the experience. And that’s the tough part—figuring out as a parent when a child is ready to stay away from home, and what they’ll need while they’re at camp, said Dr. Laurel Williams, a professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. A child who can stay one night away from their family might be ready for camp
• 5-17-2024FDA APPROVES NEW DRUG FOR DEADLY LUNG CANCER
• 5-17-2024ANTI-DIABETIC TREATMENT ASSOCIATED WITH REDUCED RISK OF DEVELOPING BLOOD CANCER
• 5-17-2024HOW THE DANGEROUS LIVER DISEASE SPREADS AND HOW IT CAN BE TREATED Hepatitis is an inflammation of the liver. It is the way the liver responds to various injuries or harmful agents.
• 5-17-2024CLINICIANS REPORT SUCCESS WITH FIRST TEST OF DRUG IN A PATIENT WITH LIFE-THREATENING BLOOD CLOTTING DISORDER
• 5-17-2024RESEARCH TEAM DEVELOPS NEW AI TOOL TO HELP CLASSIFY BRAIN TUMORS
• 5-17-2024ENGLISH FISHING VILLAGE TOLD TO BOIL WATER AFTER A PARASITE OUTBREAK SICKENS OVER 45 PEOPLE
• 5-17-2024TICK SEASON HAS ARRIVED. PROTECT YOURSELF WITH THESE TIPS
• 5-17-2024ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE AND THE FUTURE OF SURGERY
• 5-17-2024RESEARCHER DISCOVERS DRUG THAT MAY DELAY ONSET OF ALZHEIMER’S, PARKINSON’S DISEASE AND TREAT HYDROCEPHALUS
• 5-17-2024KEY PROTEIN BEHIND BRAIN ASYMMETRY UNCOVERED BY SCIENTISTS
• 5-17-2024CELL TYPES AND MOLECULES USUALLY ASSOCIATED WITH AUTOIMMUNE DISEASES FOUND TO BE NORMAL COMPONENTS OF GUT IMMUNITY
• 5-17-2024RESEARCHERS REVEAL MOLECULAR MECHANISMS OF DIFFERENT DONOR ARTERIES FOR CORONARY ARTERY BYPASS GRAFTING
• 5-17-2024LIMITING CERTAIN LIGHT EXPOSURE HAS POTENTIAL TO PREVENT INHERITED RETINAL DYSTROPHY
• 5-17-2024STUDY REVEALS THAT THE BRAIN MODULATES VISUAL SIGNALS ACCORDING TO INTERNAL STATES
• 5-17-2024RESEARCHERS MAKE STRIDES IN MICROBIOME-BASED CANCER THERAPIES VIA IRON DEPRIVATION IN THE TUMOR MICROENVIRONMENT
• 5-17-2024STUDY OPENS THE DOOR TO DESIGNING THERAPIES TO IMPROVE LUNG DEVELOPMENT IN GROWTH-RESTRICTED FETUSES
• 5-17-2024WASTEWATER REVEALS SOCIOECONOMIC LINK TO ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION
• 5-17-2024A MULTIFACED BRAIN MAP OF RHESUS MONKEY
• 5-17-2024MORE LEPTOSPIROSIS CASES OCCUR AFTER FLOODS, STUDY SHOWS
• 5-17-2024RESEARCH FINDS THE PROTEIN VISTA DIRECTLY BLOCKS T CELLS FROM FUNCTIONING IN IMMUNOTHERAPY
• 5-17-2024GUT BACTERIA ENHANCE CANCER IMMUNOTHERAPY IN MOUSE STUDY
• 5-17-2024NEW IMAGING SOFTWARE IMPROVES LUNG DIAGNOSIS FOR 30% OF PATIENTS WHO CAN’T TOLERATE CONTRAST DYE
• 5-17-2024BLACK ADULTS AT RISK FOR ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE LIVE IN MORE POLLUTED AREAS, STUDY FINDS
• 5-17-2024STUDY SUGGESTS CHRONIC WASTING DISEASE UNLIKELY TO MOVE FROM ANIMALS TO PEOPLE
• 5-17-2024BARRETT’S ESOPHAGUS PRECEDES ESOPHAGEAL CANCER, BUT NOT ALL PATIENTS NEED ABNORMAL CELL REMOVAL
• 5-17-2024THE NEURAL SIGNATURE OF SUBJECTIVE DISGUST COULD APPLY TO BOTH SENSORY AND SOCIO-MORAL EXPERIENCES
• 5-17-2024NEW BLOOD TEST FOR STROKE DETECTION COMBINES BLOOD-BASED BIOMARKERS WITH A CLINICAL SCORE
• 5-17-2024WEB-BASED SELF-HELP INTERVENTION FOUND TO BE BENEFICIAL FOR BINGE EATING DISORDER
• 5-17-2024MARYLAND GOV. WES MOORE SIGNS BILL REQUIRING MENTAL HEALTH TRAINING FOR PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL, COLLEGE COACHES
• 5-17-2024NEW TECHNIQUE TO FREEZE BRAIN TISSUE WITHOUT HARM
• 5-17-2024STUDY UNCOVERS KEY FACTORS FOR RESILIENCE AFTER TRAUMA
• 5-17-2024SCAFFOLDING SENSORS DETECT EARLY EVIDENCE OF ORGAN TRANSPLANT REJECTIONS IN MICE
• 5-17-2024NOVEL GENETIC MECHANISMS MAY SERVE AS THERAPEUTIC TARGET AGAINST GLIOMA
• 5-17-2024LINK BETWEEN E-CIGARETTE USE AND EARLY AGE OF ASTHMA ONSET IN US ADULTS DISCOVERED
• 5-17-2024RESEARCHERS IDENTIFY IMPACTS OF RUSSIA-UKRAINE WAR ON HEALTH CARE SYSTEMS IMPACTED BY COMBAT
• 5-17-2024TRIAL HIV VACCINE TRIGGERS ELUSIVE AND ESSENTIAL ANTIBODIES, POINTING THE WAY TOWARD A SUCCESSFUL VACCINE

MAY 17, 2024

• 5-17-2024HOW THE DANGEROUS LIVER DISEASE SPREADS AND HOW IT CAN BE TREATED
• 5-17-2024NEW DATA OUTLINE POSITIVE EFFECTS OF ENDURANCE EXERCISE TRAINING
• 5-17-2024CHRONIC PAIN SUPPORT FROM SPOUSE MAY DECREASE WELL-BEING FOR SOME PEOPLE
• 5-17-2024WHEN DEPRESSION MEDS DON’T WORK, THIS MAY HELP YOU TURN THE CORNER
• 5-17-2024CAN OXYTOCIN HELP AGAINST LONELINESS? FINDINGS FROM A RANDOMIZED CONTROLLED TRIAL
• 5-17-2024STUDY FINDS ANTIOXIDANT DIETARY SUPPLEMENT MAY HELP COUNTER SYSTEMIC SCLEROSIS
• 5-17-2024AUTISTIC PEOPLE’S FEELINGS MOSTLY MISREAD—EMPATHY WORKS BOTH WAYS, RESEARCH REVEALS
• 5-17-2024STUDY SUGGESTS THAT AIR POLLUTION PROMOTES INFLAMMATION IN THE BRAIN, ACCELERATING CONSEQUENCES FOR DEMENTIA
• 5-17-2024STUDY SHOWS AEROBIC EXERCISE PERFORMED IN THE EVENING BENEFITS ELDERLY HYPERTENSIVES MORE THAN MORNING EXERCISE
• 5-17-2024A LONG-TERM KETOGENIC DIET ACCUMULATES AGED CELLS IN NORMAL TISSUES, NEW STUDY SHOWS
• 5-17-2024US TEEN DIED AFTER DOING SPICY CHIP CHALLENGE: AUTOPSY
• 5-17-2024IS YOUR CHILD READY FOR SUMMER SLEEPAWAY CAMP?
• 5-17-2024FDA APPROVES NEW DRUG FOR DEADLY LUNG CANCER
• 5-17-2024ANTI-DIABETIC TREATMENT ASSOCIATED WITH REDUCED RISK OF DEVELOPING BLOOD CANCER
• 5-17-2024CLINICIANS REPORT SUCCESS WITH FIRST TEST OF DRUG IN A PATIENT WITH LIFE-THREATENING BLOOD CLOTTING DISORDER
• 5-17-2024RESEARCH TEAM DEVELOPS NEW AI TOOL TO HELP CLASSIFY BRAIN TUMORS
• 5-17-2024ENGLISH FISHING VILLAGE TOLD TO BOIL WATER AFTER A PARASITE OUTBREAK SICKENS OVER 45 PEOPLE
• 5-17-2024TICK SEASON HAS ARRIVED. PROTECT YOURSELF WITH THESE TIPS
• 5-17-2024ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE AND THE FUTURE OF SURGERY
• 5-17-2024RESEARCHER DISCOVERS DRUG THAT MAY DELAY ONSET OF ALZHEIMER’S, PARKINSON’S DISEASE AND TREAT HYDROCEPHALUS
• 5-17-2024KEY PROTEIN BEHIND BRAIN ASYMMETRY UNCOVERED BY SCIENTISTS
• 5-17-2024CELL TYPES AND MOLECULES USUALLY ASSOCIATED WITH AUTOIMMUNE DISEASES FOUND TO BE NORMAL COMPONENTS OF GUT IMMUNITY
• 5-17-2024RESEARCHERS REVEAL MOLECULAR MECHANISMS OF DIFFERENT DONOR ARTERIES FOR CORONARY ARTERY BYPASS GRAFTING
• 5-17-2024LIMITING CERTAIN LIGHT EXPOSURE HAS POTENTIAL TO PREVENT INHERITED RETINAL DYSTROPHY
• 5-17-2024STUDY REVEALS THAT THE BRAIN MODULATES VISUAL SIGNALS ACCORDING TO INTERNAL STATES
• 5-17-2024RESEARCHERS MAKE STRIDES IN MICROBIOME-BASED CANCER THERAPIES VIA IRON DEPRIVATION IN THE TUMOR MICROENVIRONMENT
• 5-17-2024STUDY OPENS THE DOOR TO DESIGNING THERAPIES TO IMPROVE LUNG DEVELOPMENT IN GROWTH-RESTRICTED FETUSES
• 5-17-2024WASTEWATER REVEALS SOCIOECONOMIC LINK TO ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION
• 5-17-2024A MULTIFACED BRAIN MAP OF RHESUS MONKEY
• 5-17-2024MORE LEPTOSPIROSIS CASES OCCUR AFTER FLOODS, STUDY SHOWS
• 5-17-2024RESEARCH FINDS THE PROTEIN VISTA DIRECTLY BLOCKS T CELLS FROM FUNCTIONING IN IMMUNOTHERAPY
• 5-17-2024GUT BACTERIA ENHANCE CANCER IMMUNOTHERAPY IN MOUSE STUDY
• 5-17-2024NEW IMAGING SOFTWARE IMPROVES LUNG DIAGNOSIS FOR 30% OF PATIENTS WHO CAN’T TOLERATE CONTRAST DYE
• 5-17-2024BLACK ADULTS AT RISK FOR ALZHEIMER’S DISEASE LIVE IN MORE POLLUTED AREAS, STUDY FINDS
• 5-17-2024STUDY SUGGESTS CHRONIC WASTING DISEASE UNLIKELY TO MOVE FROM ANIMALS TO PEOPLE
• 5-17-2024BARRETT’S ESOPHAGUS PRECEDES ESOPHAGEAL CANCER, BUT NOT ALL PATIENTS NEED ABNORMAL CELL REMOVAL
• 5-17-2024THE NEURAL SIGNATURE OF SUBJECTIVE DISGUST COULD APPLY TO BOTH SENSORY AND SOCIO-MORAL EXPERIENCES
• 5-17-2024NEW BLOOD TEST FOR STROKE DETECTION COMBINES BLOOD-BASED BIOMARKERS WITH A CLINICAL SCORE
• 5-17-2024WEB-BASED SELF-HELP INTERVENTION FOUND TO BE BENEFICIAL FOR BINGE EATING DISORDER
• 5-17-2024MARYLAND GOV. WES MOORE SIGNS BILL REQUIRING MENTAL HEALTH TRAINING FOR PUBLIC HIGH SCHOOL, COLLEGE COACHES
• 5-17-2024NEW TECHNIQUE TO FREEZE BRAIN TISSUE WITHOUT HARM
• 5-17-2024STUDY UNCOVERS KEY FACTORS FOR RESILIENCE AFTER TRAUMA
• 5-17-2024SCAFFOLDING SENSORS DETECT EARLY EVIDENCE OF ORGAN TRANSPLANT REJECTIONS IN MICE
• 5-17-2024NOVEL GENETIC MECHANISMS MAY SERVE AS THERAPEUTIC TARGET AGAINST GLIOMA
• 5-17-2024LINK BETWEEN E-CIGARETTE USE AND EARLY AGE OF ASTHMA ONSET IN US ADULTS DISCOVERED
• 5-17-2024RESEARCHERS IDENTIFY IMPACTS OF RUSSIA-UKRAINE WAR ON HEALTH CARE SYSTEMS IMPACTED BY COMBAT
• 5-17-2024TRIAL HIV VACCINE TRIGGERS ELUSIVE AND ESSENTIAL ANTIBODIES, POINTING THE WAY TOWARD A SUCCESSFUL VACCINE

I got fired last year on a one-day notice at my company and started preparing for the GRE soon after that.
I am honestly now starting to realize that maybe the prep source I picked was wrong. I chose Target Test Prep and have taken two subscriptions of it - each of 06 months. The course is devastatingly long, so much so that each chapter has 10-12 tests which I have to review each and then move to next chapter but by the time I am 3 chapters ahead, I forget what I learned in the first chapter for example.
I did 2 weeks detailed study on TTP Probability chapter and even after that I scored 2/10 on Gregmat probability quiz!!!
This constant process of countless tests, extremely lengthy course material and constant reviewing of their insanely long course chapters has caused me to literally lose hope in my GRE preparation. I am beyond devastated that a year has gone by and my depression has gone up by ten times more.
Is there ANYONE who can help me here please? I am literally sitting here writing all this and trying to stop my brain from justifying suicide as the way out for me. I have to give my GRE by July 31 by any means possible or my entire future will be destroyed. I am living in a house where I am being forced for marriage to corrupted men, I am near financially bankrupt. I spent two savings on two GRE TTP subscriptions.
I am going through extreme depression and I am at a point where I have started having rage issues at the GRE prep. Target Test Prep has been a horrible resource for me in terms of time! Literally my whole year has gone to complete waste!!!!
I spend my mornings in bed dreading TTP course material. My body has literally started breaking down psychologically! I have become an insomniac, I have severe depression, constant nightmares and anxiety and have completely stopped socializing because TTP COURSE IS JUST NEVER ENDING!!!!!!!!!

Q1 - Need some advice for what scent suits me the best, it’d be great if u could link any websites that has those kinds of quizzes. I don’t want a test that tells me what specific product suits me best though, I’m looking for a quiz or wtv that tells me what SCENT suits me, iykwim? Like does coconut scented products suit me best, does vanilla, roses, wood, etc?
Q2 - I am currently using the “Ari” perfume by Ariana Grande and I’m wondering what scent I could “layer” that perfume with? And I don’t mean layer like using another perfume as well as the Ari one, I mean, what kind of scent would I get if I want a body wash that smells the same? I want to layer every product I use in the shower, with the Ari perfume so that I won’t smell like a hundred different things, yk?
And as I said above, I’m not looking for specific product recommendations, although I think it’s easier in this case, ‘cause I’ve tried looking for its particular scent, although I only ever really get “sweet”, which confuses me even more, ‘cause I mean ANYTHING can smell sweet but still smell different. Vanilla could smell sweet, but so could flowers. And flowers don’t smell like vanilla, does it? Idk man, this is what I meant when I said I don’t know much about fragrances 🤷‍♀️
Please talk to me like I’m five, ‘cause quite frankly, I am like a five y/o when it comes to things I don’t rly get :p

Tldr at the bottom ig
So, I already have really bad tmj with may be causing most of my neck problems, but this time my neck seemed to get extremely tight after sitting at a weird way recently. It was actually so tight I think it was affecting my left arm, it didn't have tingling, but it had a very slight feeling of numbness like it was partially disconnected from my shoulder, still moved perfectly fine though. I also had annoying fluctuating tinnitus and it was just a chaotic mess, but that wasn't the weirdest thing that happened and made me think I almost did something lethal to my neck. After all this annoying stuff started happening for a day or two, I was going to sleep at night and decided to just lay there and focus on my breathing letting my neck spasm or my jaw do its weird stuff, the goal was just to let my body adjust on its own as much as it could without intervention. strangely immediately after doing this I noticed my neck would slightly turn to the right if I really relaxed, but it wasn't forced or anything, just barely noticeable. I decided to let it do its turn and see what my body wanted to do, it turned until it stopped a little bit past the middle of my neck rotation (My neck started when I was laying on my back and looking slightly to the left), and then it felt my some part of the inside of my neck like unlocked and kind of cracked and crunch and immediately after I felt dazed and slightly in pain, but after it went away I definitely felt better. Do you think I was risking a bit artery dissection or messing up my neck badly from doing this. Reminder, I did not have control of my neck and it was moving on its own, after this event it hasn't been doing it, my arm feeling is back and there has been no lasting symptoms.
Basically, I let my body relax and it turned my neck on its own until it felt like it cracked and released some kind of tension somewhere and after a weird feeling of being dazed and a little in pain for a few seconds my symptoms were alleviated for the most part. Do you think I was in danger of severely messing up my neck or body, should I have stopped it from moving and just kept the tension?

Like humans, dogs have individual sleep preferences. And since there are hundreds of different beds to choose from, finding the right one can be a head-spinning endeavor. If only dogs could take an online quiz, similar to those for people: “Are you a side-sleeper? A splooter? A curler? Do you prefer a warm dirt hole or a king-size human bed where you still manage to take up all the space?”
Even if you already know your dog’s sleeping style, the bed-shopping journey may still involve trial, error, and some returns. To get you started, I have created a list of top 3 options as best beds for your dog.

1. FurHaven Velvet Waves
2. Majestic Pet Suede Bagel Dog Bed
3. Best Friends by Sheri The Original Calming Donut Bed

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FurHaven Velvet Waves Perfect Comfort Sofa

An affordable, comfortable couch-style bed that’s easy to spot-clean
This dog bed offers a low front opening, for easy access. And it has one of the simplest covers to spot-clean of all the beds we tested. The mattress foam is soft and supportive, but it isn’t the highest-quality material.
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Majestic Pet Suede Bagel Dog Bed

Great for dogs who like to curl up
Dogs who like to sleep curled up with their bodies pressed up against things will love this cuddler-style bed. The pillowy bottom and raised bolsters make a cozy nest. The soft, durable faux-suede cover can withstand normal digging—but as on our other top pick, it will wear out eventually.
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Best Friends by Sheri Calming Donut Bed

Calming dog beds have become increasingly popular with pet parents of anxious pups. Comforting features like high, fluffy sides, plush cushions, and a circular shape contribute to a soothing experience. These beds are said to alleviate stress by mimicking the act of snuggling up against a warm mother and littermates.
The Original Calming Bed from Best Friends By Sheri cocoons dogs in a protective circular shape. Bolstered edges add a sense of security and make a nice headrest. This bed keeps dogs warm and comfortable, thanks to its soft shag and special layer of insulation.

He waited to call me, he literally thought about my sleep and that he’d called to wake me up a couple times already this past week so he thought no I’ll let her sleep and call at a more normal time. Is he not the most thoughtful thing? My baby. He woke me right out of a dream, it was an odd one which I cbf going into, but I was making a friend in it, I don’t know who but the dream was partly me trying to be friends with this other girl. Maybe it’s a sign I’ll find a new friend soon :) Anyway so he called and we chatted while he finished making up his keyboard. It sounds so good, like sooooo good. Like creamy marbley rain drop goodness. It’s funny because I thought his last keyboard sounded delicious, but in comparison to the new one the old one makes me envision large spiders tip tapping along a corrugated iron roof. Whereas the new one sounds like sitting by a fire with a hot chocolate with marshmallows and being read a story while the rain pitter patters outside. I wonder if this new one will sound like spiders whenever he makes a newer one? I’m truly such a fickle thing. They all sound good though, obviously. He said how when we live together he’ll make one for me! Or rather he’ll guide me through the process, because I need to pick the sounds and colours and feelings out. I’m not sure what I’d like it to be like, I’ll have to start thinking. I flip between wanting something cute, like a pink one with strawberries and hearts and glitter and then a sleek, profesh looking one. A light one? Or a dark one? And I have no idea about the sounds, but he’ll help me. And then we can make it up together! It sounds so fun, I really can’t wait. Anyway so he called and it’s still my favourite way to wake up.
Then we hung up and I was laying in bed debating whether I should get up or doze and I ended up having dirty lil thoughts about him… twice. I can be so boring with my lil fantasies now, I can’t entirely remember now what I thought about but it was just us two. I think he thinks I think about someone else involved more than I do, I definitely do but nowhere near as often as just him. I sound like a total creepy perve but I’ve even thought about just him… but I’ll be dead and buried before I ever tell him that. And that saying something because I think I’d like to be cremated… TBD on that. But so anyway, thinking about just me and him is always my favourite and works the fastest every single time. My honey baby handsome man.
I truly have a life full of first world problems, it makes me feel so guilty sometimes. I say sometimes because I only think about how lucky I am sometimes, which makes me feel even more guilty. There are SO many horrible awful things happening in the world to people who absolutely do not deserve a hair on their heads touched.. and here I am lambasting my cuticles for being in good condition after I bought some products to tidy them up. I just caught myself out before, I was looking at my cuticles and was negatively thinking about how clean they look lately - I’m not surprised I found a way to be negative about something good. They definitely need some nourishment and cuticle oil and things, but they’re so clean and neat? Why? I haven’t done anything? Anyway I caught myself looking at them thinking ffs why do they look nice I need to fix them - firstly that makes no sense and secondly it hit me a second later how terrible it was. And then the guilt washed over me and there are children dying across the world for no reason and here I am critiquing my cuticles. I truly don’t think I deserve the air I breathe sometimes. More than sometimes. I know I’m not a person that adds anything to this world, if anything I just take from it by worsening the health of the planet with the plastic, travel etc etc I do. I do my best to save bees who look sickly? That’s about it. I don’t bring joy to anyone else - I mean I make Andy miserable, I probably stress and worry my parents… I think the only one I bring any semblance of joy to is pups because I play with him and take him for walks and cuddle him and I won’t move an inch if he’s comfy and I’m not. Other than that… I offer nothing. So like I said, I am drenched in guilt. I wonder how I can change it? Or how I can offer more? I just feel like I have nothing to actually offer, even if I gave everything up. I guess physical labour…? But even then, I’m not strong and my hand skin is so sensitive so I can only really do so much before it hurts and gets bad. But I guess if I wasn’t being selfish I would ignore my skin, wouldn’t I? I would really like to volunteer. I used to a bit here and there, before I really got bad with my mental health. Not a lot but sometimes. I’d like to make it more of a regular thing - it’s something I’ve talked about in therapy about it being a part of the life I’m working towards. I’m thinking once every three weeks or so, so still nothing impactful but it’s something? I think I’d like to volunteer at an animal shelter, I wouldn’t mind even cleaning up their little areas and things, idk why but I don’t find animal stuff gross whereas I do people stuff. Then again I’ve only had to clean up after an animal I love with my whole heart so maybe it would be different for other ones, I could do it though. Or I’d like to volunteer at a retirement home, or visiting elderly people at their own homes. Just spend time with them, it makes my heart hurt to think of how lonely some of them can be and coming from someone who feels extremely lonely I would want to lessen that - especially in their final years. They’re the main places I’d like to volunteer. I’ve done time in “soup kitchens” here and in the UK, which I enjoyed, I only worked in the kitchen though helping prepare things and cleaning up - every time I wasn’t allowed out the front to serve, which is weird because I have LOTS of experience with that sort of thing? The way they implied it was that I was a young woman, but still? I guess 99% of those visiting there would be fine but maybe 1% wouldn’t be? Still though. Anyway I’d like to volunteer more. I need to learn to be comfy leaving the house first, maybe get my social anxiety under control a little more but I don’t need to be perfect because doing these things will help my issues. What else could I do? I donate to charities and have for years, sometimes I’ve had monthly deductions, sometimes I just donate on a whim. Like that fresh water one, I can’t remember the name off the top of my head but every few months I impulsively donate $100 or so. It’s not enough though, I should be better. I just get suss of the charities themselves and I don’t know how much actually goes to the cause, like I know they need to fund admin costs which makes sense but anyway. I just don’t have any skills, so other than vague stuff there’s not any real impact I can offer. Andy for example, he’s so talented and clever and creative, I bet he would have ways to make an impact. Like if he was to visit elderly people it would be SUCH a success as he’s so chatty and personable and kind and lovely and everything that’s good, so he would keep them entertained and ask the right questions. Whereas I’m not a talker so I would be awkward and quiet and they would have to lead the conversation and they likely don’t want that, unless I asked to be paired with chatty kathys of course. My nana was like that, you ask one question and she won’t stop talking for an hour. At least from memory, I don’t remember so well as I was littler. Hm. Anyway. I just feel like I’m a big time detractor of the world. That’s kind of a good villain name, The Detractor. Another way I can offer more is to be better, for example if I’m better then I don’t make Andy miserable which means he would feel more encouraged to live his life happily which would therefore positively affect everyone who comes into contact with him, which I know happens now anyway but maybe if he has a supportive loving girlfriend it will be even more so? Like I can be a lil battery for him, because I don’t really like interacting with others too much, or I do but I don’t like to be an active member, I like to listen and observe and chime in every now and then. None of this makes sense. But if I’m better then that has a positive effect on people around me. That’s what I’m trying to say. I’m always polite though, like if I take the bus I always say thank you when I hop off, I always say thank you when a waiter refills my drink or puts down my cutlery or whatever else. Even when I don’t want to talk at all and an Uber driver clearly does I will chat away even though my social battery is running on fumes because I don’t want them to feel rejected and maybe they need to chat, even if it’s about nothing. I always put supermarket trollies back into their homes. I never litter. I hold doors open for people, but only when it means they won’t have to do an awkward run for it because that’s not polite that’s annoying. So I think I’m polite, but a polite person does not make a good person - and I am not a good person. Or a worthwhile one.
So far this morning I have chatted to Andy, got up and made a strawbs smoothie, did a lil kitchen clean/tidy up, went back to lay on my bed but not IN bed and I read for a little bit, I journaled the bit up there and now I’m watching some YT. I’m really trying to stretch out my read time of this book, I’m excited to get into HP after this one but I also don’t want to let go of this world and these characters yet, even though it’s a reread. I’d like to have a productive day but I’m also going to let myself do whatever I fancy… I hope I fancy being productive.
I wound up reading/watching about those body and face types again, because a YT video came up as suggested. Anyway, so apparently you can be more yin or yang and I’m a definite yin. Yang is more angular, sharp and blunt whereas yin is soft, rounded and curved. I also feel like I’m a yin person, I was reading about that recently, I think I need to actively work to have more yang in my life in order to be more balanced? I mean these descriptors? Negative, passive, feminine, dark, cool, soft, reflective, still, calm, nurture, quiet, introspective, prefers solitude, cautious etc. Hellllllllllllo. Whereas yang is more embodied by words like active, light, warm, outgoing/sociable, masculine, direct, expressive, loud, restless, productive, growth, passion etc. Things that don’t really describe me. So I think maybe in that sense I’m imbalanced. It seems I’m imbalanced in everything, so that’s great. Excellent, even. I feel like Andy is 100% the yang to my yin. Maybe that’s a factor in why we work well? We balance each other? I think he has a mix of both though, he’s much more balanced. I was about to write “he’s perfect” but I am also a biased, love sick girl soooo… but I think we balance each other well, no? Anyway I’m reading more about yin vs yang and I definitely need more Yang in me because these are all yin:
Signs of “excess” in yin: * Oversleeping * Overthinking * Slow thinking * Sluggishness * Laziness * Compulsive behaviour * Lack of motivation * Apathy * Overeating :(
Versus yang that lists things like anger, restlessness, violence, frustration, inability to relax & let go, insomnia, addictions, need for constant stimulation, regular headaches etc.
And “personality traits” in yin: * imagination * peacefulness * wisdom (not for meee) * relaxation * satisfaction (?) * persistence (only with some things) * introversion
Versus yang that lists things like action, ambition, courage, adventurousness, extroversion, getting things done etc.
And “activities” for yin: * yoga * tai chi * slow walking * golf * qi gong * weight lifting * stretching
Versus yang that lists things like cardio, running, fast dancing, wrestling, hiking, swimming, biking etc.
Anyway I know this is all just one of those things, but also it makes total sense. But this reminds me of the therapy lesson where I learned I like these sorts of things, similar to the Myers Briggs thing etc, because I don’t really know who I am and so I find being grouped into a category really affirming and makes me feel less… outsidey. Which is a thing for me as I don’t easily click with people, I can get along fine with more or less anyone but I don’t genuinely enjoy the company of just anyone and I find it very difficult to be myself with just anyone, I have some form of a wall up with everyone bar a couple of people like my parents, Andy, M and K to an extent. But it also depends, if I don’t spend time with someone for awhile my walls go back up. It’s a huge reason why I don’t really enjoy social things, if it’s a one on one thing I can but in a group? Even with the girls from work who I know well, but I can’t relax and I don’t enjoy myself at all. I try to but I just feel like I’m outside of the bubble. But so anyway all that is why I gravitate towards these groupings of personality, even looks like the fact I was watching a video about face/body types which is why I started this paragraph. I like being able to see examples and do a quiz and find out I’m whatever and then seeing similarities in others who are in the group. It makes me feel included and less alone. It basically all comes down to the fact I always feel like I’m on the outside, of everything. I don’t feel included in anything really. Which comes back to my self esteem/self worth… or lack thereof. I’m wondering when I’m meant to be getting more of that btw, like WHEN? It’s the root of all my issues. Mostly.
I’ve been wondering if I should consider lightening my eyebrows… that sounds kinda crazy, well crazy in the land of eyebrow stuff, but idk. I have warm brown hair… but basically black eyebrows? It’s weird and I’ve always hated it. I know eyebrows always lean cooler than the hair on your head, so that’s natural, but idk, it’s just my hair is so warm and my brows so cool - it’s always irked me. I’ve never quite realised it was that though, I just always thought something was off, but I’m now starting to wonder if my brows should be ever so lightened. I never even thought of it as a potential solution til I saw some girl doing it and it gave her a much softer look. I know they also need to be darker by a shade or two, well they don’t NEED to be but that’s generally the natural look and I only want a natural result. So a deep brown? Because right now they’re damn near black. And I find the black jarring against my fair skin too, I like having dark brows - I would hate to have light/fair brows, and dark brows are supposedly wanted because they make the person with them appear younger, or rather fair brows can age a face. So I like that mine are dark… I just want them MAYBE a fraction lighter. But the idea scares me! Because if you bleach them then anything you add on top will likely lean super warm and idk. So idk how I’d even go about it. The woman I watched doing it on YT just used an at home bleach kit or something and she used it several times so I guess it won’t do much but still… I’m scared :(
I set up my new monitor!!!!!!!!!!! By myself!!!!!!! I know how tiny it is but I’m still so pleased with myself. I felt so embarrassed telling Andy, or less embarrassed and more silly/stupid I guess. Like it’s such a nothing thing but idk, I was nervous and I wrote out a step by step list to work through so I wouldn’t get overwhelmed and things while doing it. And when I say step by step I literally mean:

1. Unwrap the boxes and take each item out
2. Make sure to keep them in their own little areas and don’t mix them up
3. Clear my desk of everything
4. Clean my desk
5. Set up the new monitor with the stand
6. Place both monitors on the desk
7. Plug both monitors into power source
8. Put laptop on the desk
9. Put the HDMI connector usb into the laptop
10. Put one monitor HDMI cable into the laptop, as normal
11. Put the other monitor HDMI cable into the connecter
12. Connector should be connected to laptop with only one external HDMI a cable inside
13. Turn on my laptop and see if they all connect up - don’t stress if they don’t
14. Play around/google/ask Andy if any issues
15. Arrange my new desk! Try use the cable tidy things and make it nice.

So I mean, an absolute step by step. It didn’t cover all the steps as I forgot about the mouse parts and things. But anyway I did itttttt. I need to move the stuff around though because they’re too far apart but I’ll do that tomorrow. I also need to work out how to add an extra plug so I can charge my laptop too as there’s not enough plugs.
I asked him if he wanted to watch Bridg erton and I wish I hadn’t because he feels weird about it. I only asked because idk, wishful thinking? I want to watch it with him :( From season one, obviously. Idk I know he doesn’t want to so I won’t push it, but I want to show him shows I love too. I just like regency era stuff like this and idk. I shouldn’t have asked, now he thinks I want to watch with someone else? Like… who? I guess mum or M. But why get suss about that. Anyway. I guess I’ll watch it by myself, like I expected. I can’t wait for the music. And the costumes!!!!!!!! My favourite. Anyway idk. I just want to share things I love with him the way he does with me.. but maybe I just don’t like anything he’ll like?
I want the Laura Mercier strawberry blush a lot :( But I’m really trying to not buy makeup I don’t need and I already have 30-odd blushes which I don’t get enough use out of, including LM ones. But it’s such a pretty colour!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I had a trillion dollars so I could have all the colours and formulas my little heart desired. But also in saying that I love the idea of being one of those women who have one makeup bag and everything fits inside, and they have maybe one or two shades or blush/lip colour and the rest is just one. It seems so easy and simple and I would really like to be like that but I am definitely not like that at all. I’m slowly learning to be more like that with skincare because that’s how it should be, but makeup…? Even though I don’t wear a lot I just love having it and looking at it. Like I just swiped some highlighter on my hand the other day to look at how shimmery it was, I didn’t apply it to my face, I just had a tiny swipe on my hand and I’d just look at it now and then. I only do that with highlighter though obviously and I love shimmery glittery sparkly things. Mum has always called me a magpie for a reason.
He’s asleep. I miss him. I can’t wait til we live together and when he’s asleep and I’m not and I miss him I can just go snuggle in next to him for a while. But not too close, as he gets too hot. I also don’t want to wake him. The idea of him doing the same with me makes me feel like floating on a cloud. And the time he said he’d still cuddle me to sleep even when he was on a different sleep cycle to me??????? Still obsessed. I wonder if that was a turning point in when my feelings were developing? I know I already fancied the hell out of him, I did from the beginning and I fell so hard and so fast for him. But I wonder if when he said that it was one of those moments that cemented him as the kind of man he is? Or rather the kind of partner he’d be? Because I’ve always wanted someone that cares about what makes me happy and I mean let’s not beat around the bush, I’ve not had a relationship where that’s been a priority to them. So the fact he knows I love being held and cuddled and I would sometimes miss it when he slept differently but if I wanted it he’d come to bed and stay with me til I fell asleep or close enough. And the fact he didn’t see it as anything special, it was just a normal thought to him?! It’s such a minor thing in comparison to everything else he has done for me and everything he has been to me and everything he’s helped me through, but it’s just a little thing that means everything. Anyway.
I watched wish with M tonight, it wasn’t good. I just can’t get on board with the latest movies of theirs lately, they’re just so bleh. The music isn’t right - there’s nothing magical about it and I wonder if it’s because they seem to hire pop music people not composers and things now? And the animation is never 2D anymore, which tbh I understand and that’s purely nostalgia of mine than anything bad but the animation doesn’t feel magical either anymore. Apart from some of the scenes were beautiful. Anyway.
I think I’ll stop now. It’s 9:30 so it’s too late for to start BT so I think I’ll read for a lil bit then go to sleep soon. Night night

Tests

NPI

• Authority: 8
• Self-Sufficiency: 6
• Superiority: 4
• Exploitativeness: 4
• Vanity: 3
• Entitlement: 6

Codependency
In a relationships schema quiz I scored a 7 out of 50 for the category dependence. I am not dependent upon my partner for anything, most of the time I am the one who is depended upon. I am the one who is depended upon for emotional support, financial support, and physical support. I don't get into a relationship unless I feel the person is actually worth the effort and time that I put into it, or if I feel trapped.
OCD
None of those traits fit for the most part.

Questions

Q: Do you curse a lot?

A: Yes, very frequently

Q: Are you self righteous and vengeful?

A: I am self righteous and vengeful, although I feel half the time that getting vengeance is a waste of time and effort towards people that are worth so little.

Q: Can you turn off your empathy?

A: Yes, very easily in fact. It's as simple as taking a deep breath and dropping my vibrations.

Narcissist Type

Covert Narcissist
I like to paint myself as the good guy and do favors for people because then they can end up owing me later on and if they try withholding me what is due to me, then I can throw it back in their face. Cause I mean, after all it's only fair that an even trade-off be made.

Other Types

Malignant Narcissism

• Moderate (31-45)
• While I can have empathy/sympathy for others, it's typically done out of a desire to paint myself as a good person.
• I tend to not show/feel empathy/sympathy/remorse for others except for right after doing something I to harm/hurt them. At which point I feel bad for a few minutes and then I'm back to my normal self.
• I try not to treat people badly as I know this can make me look bad, but I don't really care about the people themselves. I just care about how I look to others. I also worry about the consequences of my actions.
• I often measure the potential gain and likelihood of success against the potential loss and possibility of getting cauught doing something bad before I do it. Oftentimes the potential loss outweighs the potential gain.

Exhbitionist Narcissist
I do believe I have a nice body, but I can understand how others are more attractive than me in certain areas. But I also do personally know that I have a big dick and this is something I tend/used to flaunt on the daily, although I've shyed away from this behavior recently.
Narcissistic Schizoid
I know I'm extremely intelligent and it upsets me that people tend to not appreciate this fact enough, although I never flaunt this behavior and typically at times will understate/underexaggerate/doubt my own intelligence in order to get compliments on my intelligence. The doubt typically only happens when I am extremely interested in a topic and compare myself to the best of the best in that field.
Collapsed Narcissism

• I have noticed lately a tendency to availing to the Antisocial Solution.
• I have also noticed an alignment towards the Paranoid Schizoid Solution, although this may simply be to my increased use of methamphetamine.

Scores

• NPI: 31
• Codependency: 13
• OCD: 7

Original prompt: https://new.reddit.com/WritingPrompts/comments/12gn2tj/wp_you_are_summoned_to_the_realm_of_men_expecting/
***
Coalescing into existence, a fine mist dissipating as I appeared, my surroundings came into focus. A library, though a small one. A home library, I thought likely. Humans think they have a monopoly on enjoying the smell of old books, but after all, the scent is decomposition. That’s right up the alley of a demon, surely, and so, I love the smell of old books.
Alongside that, however, was the odor of blood. Distinctive and poignant, meaning there was a lot of it, and all I had to do was look down to see the source.
“Oh my,” I murmured. “That’s clearly too much for you to be going without.”
A pool of blood had expanded from a wound in the man’s chest, having flowed out to such an extent that even lying a yard from the pentagram that caged me, it had reached the circle. Indeed it had also soaked into the book that held the summoning spell, and if the man ever regained consciousness, he’d likely be irritated at ruining such a text.
Objective and performance, that’s all that mattered in a summoning. Indeed, I had many occasions where a significant amount of blood such as this had been used to summon me. The human’s veins and arteries hold more than you would think, and it always looks like more than there should be once it’s outside the body.
The exception to what would otherwise be a normal summoning was that the near-fatal amount of blood was from the summoner, and also there was a dog there.
“Unusual. Unique, actually,” I told the dog. “I’ve never been summoned where my only conversation partner ended up being a dog.”
The dog was a black Labrador, though at his advanced age he was starting to go gray. He whimpered, glancing up at me, before walking over to the man and repeatedly licking his cheek, as if the affection shown would heal the wound he’d endured. Uncaring or not noticing, the dog’s paws stepped in the blood which soaked into his fur.
“This is a conundrum,” I sighed, spreading my hands. “Intent…execution…then deal-making. And yet…” Gesturing helplessly with one hand, I made a sound of discontent. “Well, he’s not dead yet, just dying. Intent would transfer to a partner or apprentice, but none of that is here.”
Crouching, I stared at the man. “Well…what do you think?” I asked the dog.
Reaching out a hand that just brushed the edge of my cage, the familiar motion drew the dog’s nose, but one whiff of my scent had him stepping backwards, leaving bloody footprints on the concrete floor. A low growl rumbled through his chest.
“Yes, I know, not the smell of a good creature,” I said, cocking my head. “But it’s starting to seem like I’m the only hope your human has of surviving this. Presumably his intent summoned me, but I need his intent to survive and I’m not feeling that. I need it from you. Would that even work?”
Holding out my hands as if I were warming them by a fire, I slowly moved them around in the direction of the man and the dog. Energy spikes prickled at my inbuilt antennae. “Hm… Maybe…”
Watching closely, I saw the dog move closer to his human once more. He once again began to lick the man’s cheek, more intensely this time, perhaps knowing more force was needed and now attempting to rouse him. Concentrating on the man’s body, I focused my energy on his heartbeat. If he died, I would simply return to whence I’d come. That would be that. But I’d much rather claim a soul than go back home empty-handed.
The dog whimpered once more and pawed at the man’s shoulder.
I felt his heartbeat slow.
The dog barked, then licked him repeatedly again, then barked, then he barked at me…
The heartbeat slowed even further…
“There,” I whispered.
The intent from the dog was unmistakable. A wave of my hand and suddenly the man gasped in a lungful of air, coughing on inhaled saliva, fumbling to a seated position. I sat as well, grinning like the cat that had caught the canary. It hadn’t been a canary though; it had been a human soul.
“Welcome back to the land of the living,” I said, folding my legs. Leaning forward, I trailed my hand through the blood, rubbing the viscous fluid between my thumb and forefinger, as the man attempted to calm his dog even as he was trying to breathe more easily. The dog licked frantically at the man’s face, his tail wagging furiously in happiness. The man’s hand then of course went to the site of the wound, which had healed over instantly. “You owe your dog a big old steak.”
The man stared at me, coughing a few last times. “He…he summoned you?”
“Oh no, you did that. He bargained with your soul though.”
That stunned the man. “My soul…”
“I do hope that was the reason you’d summoned me, the fatal wound,” I said with a motion of my hand to his chest, where there was a sleek hole in his shirt from where a blade had slid through. I rubbed my hands together, enjoying the sensation of fresh blood on them. “If not, that bargain was a bit of a waste.”
“That was the reason.” He blinked rapidly and pushed himself to his feet. “The fool left as soon as he yanked his blade from of my chest. Didn’t wait to watch me die.”
I hissed in a breath through my teeth. “Ah, yeah, that’s always one that will catch a human by surprise, pulling a resurrection like this.” Pushing myself to my feet, I spared a glance to the dog once more. “This was…interesting.” I looked back at the human. “I suppose you have affairs to tend to. I’ll be seeing you eventually, and from my brief glance into your life, I’m going to guess it won’t take that long.”
At that, I snapped my bloody fingers and vanished.
​
​
/storiesbykaren

Coalescing into existence, a fine mist dissipating as I appeared, my surroundings came into focus. A library, though a small one. A home library, I thought likely. Humans think they have a monopoly on enjoying the smell of old books, but after all, the scent is decomposition. That’s right up the alley of a demon, surely, and so, I love the smell of old books.
Alongside that, however, was the odor of blood. Distinctive and poignant, meaning there was a lot of it, and all I had to do was look down to see the source.
“Oh my,” I murmured. “That’s clearly too much for you to be going without.”
A pool of blood had expanded from a wound in the man’s chest, having flowed out to such an extent that even lying a yard from the pentagram that caged me, it had reached the circle. Indeed it had also soaked into the book that held the summoning spell, and if the man ever regained consciousness, he’d likely be irritated at ruining such a text.
Objective and performance, that’s all that mattered in a summoning. Indeed, I had many occasions where a significant amount of blood such as this had been used to summon me. The human’s veins and arteries hold more than you would think, and it always looks like more than there should be once it’s outside the body.
The exception to what would otherwise be a normal summoning was that the near-fatal amount of blood was from the summoner, and also there was a dog there.
“Unusual. Unique, actually,” I told the dog. “I’ve never been summoned where my only conversation partner ended up being a dog.”
The dog was a black Labrador, though at his advanced age he was starting to go gray. He whimpered, glancing up at me, before walking over to the man and repeatedly licking his cheek, as if the affection shown would heal the wound he’d endured. Uncaring or not noticing, the dog’s paws stepped in the blood which soaked into his fur.
“This is a conundrum,” I sighed, spreading my hands. “Intent…execution…then deal-making. And yet…” Gesturing helplessly with one hand, I made a sound of discontent. “Well, he’s not dead yet, just dying. Intent would transfer to a partner or apprentice, but none of that is here.”
Crouching, I stared at the man. “Well…what do you think?” I asked the dog.
Reaching out a hand that just brushed the edge of my cage, the familiar motion drew the dog’s nose, but one whiff of my scent had him stepping backwards, leaving bloody footprints on the concrete floor. A low growl rumbled through his chest.
“Yes, I know, not the smell of a good creature,” I said, cocking my head. “But it’s starting to seem like I’m the only hope your human has of surviving this. Presumably his intent summoned me, but I need his intent to survive and I’m not feeling that. I need it from you. Would that even work?”
Holding out my hands as if I were warming them by a fire, I slowly moved them around in the direction of the man and the dog. Energy spikes prickled at my inbuilt antennae. “Hm… Maybe…”
Watching closely, I saw the dog move closer to his human once more. He once again began to lick the man’s cheek, more intensely this time, perhaps knowing more force was needed and now attempting to rouse him. Concentrating on the man’s body, I focused my energy on his heartbeat. If he died, I would simply return to whence I’d come. That would be that. But I’d much rather claim a soul than go back home empty-handed.
The dog whimpered once more and pawed at the man’s shoulder.
I felt his heartbeat slow.
The dog barked, then licked him repeatedly again, then barked, then he barked at me…
The heartbeat slowed even further…
“There,” I whispered.
The intent from the dog was unmistakable. A wave of my hand and suddenly the man gasped in a lungful of air, coughing on inhaled saliva, fumbling to a seated position. I sat as well, grinning like the cat that had caught the canary. It hadn’t been a canary though; it had been a human soul.
“Welcome back to the land of the living,” I said, folding my legs. Leaning forward, I trailed my hand through the blood, rubbing the viscous fluid between my thumb and forefinger, as the man attempted to calm his dog even as he was trying to breathe more easily. The dog licked frantically at the man’s face, his tail wagging furiously in happiness. The man’s hand then of course went to the site of the wound, which had healed over instantly. “You owe your dog a big old steak.”
The man stared at me, coughing a few last times. “He…he summoned you?”
“Oh no, you did that. He bargained with your soul though.”
That stunned the man. “My soul…”
“I do hope that was the reason you’d summoned me, the fatal wound,” I said with a motion of my hand to his chest, where there was a sleek hole in his shirt from where a blade had slid through. I rubbed my hands together, enjoying the sensation of fresh blood on them. “If not, that bargain was a bit of a waste.”
“That was the reason.” He blinked rapidly and pushed himself to his feet. “The fool left as soon as he yanked his blade from of my chest. Didn’t wait to watch me die.”
I hissed in a breath through my teeth. “Ah, yeah, that’s always one that will catch a human by surprise, pulling a resurrection like this.” Pushing myself to my feet, I spared a glance to the dog once more. “This was…interesting.” I looked back at the human. “I suppose you have affairs to tend to. I’ll be seeing you eventually, and from my brief glance into your life, I’m going to guess it won’t take that long.”
At that, I snapped my bloody fingers and vanished.
***
[WP] You are summoned to the realm of men, expecting to make a deal with a foolish mortal, but find yourself in an old library. The book that summoned you here is open on the floor, next to a fallen, unmoving old man...and a dog frantically looking for help. The dog approaches you, whimpering...
This one's more DFY, but I figured I owed y'all one after the onion ninja special I dropped on you, so I thought I'd share it. :)
***
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Coalescing into existence, a fine mist dissipating as I appeared, my surroundings came into focus. A library, though a small one. A home library, I thought likely. Humans think they have a monopoly on enjoying the smell of old books, but after all, the scent is decomposition. That’s right up the alley of a demon, surely, and so, I love the smell of old books.
Alongside that, however, was the odor of blood. Distinctive and poignant, meaning there was a lot of it, and all I had to do was look down to see the source.
“Oh my,” I murmured. “That’s clearly too much for you to be going without.”
A pool of blood had expanded from a wound in the man’s chest, having flowed out to such an extent that even lying a yard from the pentagram that caged me, it had reached the circle. Indeed it had also soaked into the book that held the summoning spell, and if the man ever regained consciousness, he’d likely be irritated at ruining such a text.
Objective and performance, that’s all that mattered in a summoning. Indeed, I had many occasions where a significant amount of blood such as this had been used to summon me. The human’s veins and arteries hold more than you would think, and it always looks like more than there should be once it’s outside the body.
The exception to what would otherwise be a normal summoning was that the near-fatal amount of blood was from the summoner, and also there was a dog there.
“Unusual. Unique, actually,” I told the dog. “I’ve never been summoned where my only conversation partner ended up being a dog.”
The dog was a black Labrador, though at his advanced age he was starting to go gray. He whimpered, glancing up at me, before walking over to the man and repeatedly licking his cheek, as if the affection shown would heal the wound he’d endured. Uncaring or not noticing, the dog’s paws stepped in the blood which soaked into his fur.
“This is a conundrum,” I sighed, spreading my hands. “Intent…execution…then deal-making. And yet…” Gesturing helplessly with one hand, I made a sound of discontent. “Well, he’s not dead yet, just dying. Intent would transfer to a partner or apprentice, but none of that is here.”
Crouching, I stared at the man. “Well…what do you think?” I asked the dog.
Reaching out a hand that just brushed the edge of my cage, the familiar motion drew the dog’s nose, but one whiff of my scent had him stepping backwards, leaving bloody footprints on the concrete floor. A low growl rumbled through his chest.
“Yes, I know, not the smell of a good creature,” I said, cocking my head. “But it’s starting to seem like I’m the only hope your human has of surviving this. Presumably his intent summoned me, but I need his intent to survive and I’m not feeling that. I need it from you. Would that even work?”
Holding out my hands as if I were warming them by a fire, I slowly moved them around in the direction of the man and the dog. Energy spikes prickled at my inbuilt antennae. “Hm… Maybe…”
Watching closely, I saw the dog move closer to his human once more. He once again began to lick the man’s cheek, more intensely this time, perhaps knowing more force was needed and now attempting to rouse him. Concentrating on the man’s body, I focused my energy on his heartbeat. If he died, I would simply return to whence I’d come. That would be that. But I’d much rather claim a soul than go back home empty-handed.
The dog whimpered once more and pawed at the man’s shoulder.
I felt his heartbeat slow.
The dog barked, then licked him repeatedly again, then barked, then he barked at me…
The heartbeat slowed even further…
“There,” I whispered.
The intent from the dog was unmistakable. A wave of my hand and suddenly the man gasped in a lungful of air, coughing on inhaled saliva, fumbling to a seated position. I sat as well, grinning like the cat that had caught the canary. It hadn’t been a canary though; it had been a human soul.
“Welcome back to the land of the living,” I said, folding my legs. Leaning forward, I trailed my hand through the blood, rubbing the viscous fluid between my thumb and forefinger, as the man attempted to calm his dog even as he was trying to breathe more easily. The dog licked frantically at the man’s face, his tail wagging furiously in happiness. The man’s hand then of course went to the site of the wound, which had healed over instantly. “You owe your dog a big old steak.”
The man stared at me, coughing a few last times. “He…he summoned you?”
“Oh no, you did that. He bargained with your soul though.”
That stunned the man. “My soul…”
“I do hope that was the reason you’d summoned me, the fatal wound,” I said with a motion of my hand to his chest, where there was a sleek hole in his shirt from where a blade had slid through. I rubbed my hands together, enjoying the sensation of fresh blood on them. “If not, that bargain was a bit of a waste.”
“That was the reason.” He blinked rapidly and pushed himself to his feet. “The fool left as soon as he yanked his blade from of my chest. Didn’t wait to watch me die.”
I hissed in a breath through my teeth. “Ah, yeah, that’s always one that will catch a human by surprise, pulling a resurrection like this.” Pushing myself to my feet, I spared a glance to the dog once more. “This was…interesting.” I looked back at the human. “I suppose you have affairs to tend to. I’ll be seeing you eventually, and from my brief glance into your life, I’m going to guess it won’t take that long.”
At that, I snapped my bloody fingers and vanished.
***
[WP] You are summoned to the realm of men, expecting to make a deal with a foolish mortal, but find yourself in an old library. The book that summoned you here is open on the floor, next to a fallen, unmoving old man...and a dog frantically looking for help. The dog approaches you, whimpering...

Penile implant age 24
I struggle with terrible ed. Im almost certain it’s because I’ve had priapism alot of nights for like months straight everyday mini episodes stuttering. It then led the Cialis to barely work anymore. After this I started mixing high dose Viagra and Cialis daily together as prescribed and it got a bit better but then boom it’s still not strong again. I’ve been on TRT for a more than a year and a few months. The TRT does nothing for my sex drive or erections I just look more mature and have better size than before. I was prescribed injections but I hate them so much it really burns inside because of the medication. I’m thinking of going back to injections but I’m almost certain I have scar tissue in the corporal bodies from all the past episodes. I’ve been through so much about this that I’m basically numb to it. Next treatment will be pills mixed with injections or maybe just the injections. I did a Doppler test and it was stated arterial insufficiency for the diagnoses without a cause of course. How can I get a doctor that actually cares? Any young guys with a penile implant? Anyone else been through this ?

I struggle with terrible ed. Im almost certain it’s because I’ve had priapism alot of nights for like months straight everyday mini episodes stuttering. It then led the Cialis to barely work anymore. After this I started mixing high dose Viagra and Cialis daily together as prescribed and it got a bit better but then boom it’s still not strong again. I’ve been on TRT for a more than a year and a few months. The TRT does nothing for my sex drive or erections I just look more mature and have better size than before. I was prescribed injections but I hate them so much it really burns inside because of the medication. I’m thinking of going back to injections but I’m almost certain I have scar tissue in the corporal bodies from all the past episodes. I’ve been through so much about this that I’m basically numb to it. Next treatment will be pills mixed with injections or maybe just the injections. I did a Doppler test and it was stated arterial insufficiency for the diagnoses without a cause of course. How can I get a doctor that actually cares? Any young guys with a penile implant? Anyone else been through this ?

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Hello,
My 35 female, just received 15yr old female daughters, MRI results.
Just asking if someone wouldn't mind explaining this to me, as I am waiting for the doctor to call about this but would like be somewhat informed when he calls and be prepared if I have questions.
Background my daughter has had wrist pain, we dont know exactly what hurts, joints, blood vessels, ligaments, etc,(don't know what else we could be looking for) for over 8 years and multiple doctor visits and exams but nothing.
Is there anything in this that would attribute to daily constant pain for her? Or anything I am missing or the doctors are missing that I can ask?
HISTORY: Bilateral wrist pain, chronic. The patient also has ankle pain. As discussed with Dr. Berger and with the mother, it was decided to proceed first with the MRI arthrogram of the most symptomatic wrist which happens to be the dominant side (right side). The patient has the MRI arthrogram of the contralateral side is scheduled in 2 weeks.
TECHNIQUE: A multisequence, multiplanar MRI of the right wrist was obtained. CONTRAST: 3 mL of a mixture of 15 cc of NS, 5 cc of Optiray 320 and 0.1 ml of Gadavist. SEDATION: Versed was administered orally for anxiolysis. COMPARISON: radiographs of the wrist from September 29, 2023 and prior
FINDINGS: Skeletal maturity: Skeletally mature Marrow pattern: Normal physiologic distribution
Bones and bone marrow: There is a branching, T2 hyperintense area in the body of the capitate that may represent intraosseous vasculature. There is mild surrounding bone marrow edema. Otherwise, the bones are intact without evidence of erosions.
Joints: Mild dorsal decentering of the distal ulna at the radioulnar joint is identified of approximately 3 mm. There is preservation of the joint space. Articular cartilage: Preserved.
Effusion: There is adequate distention of the distal radio- and ulnocarpal joints by the injected fluid.
Ganglion/synovial cysts: There is a small synovial cyst arising from the volar aspect of the distal radioulnar joint extending proximally. The cyst measures approximately 1.1 cm in caudocranial dimension x1 cm in transverse diameter x0.3 cm in AP dimension Intrinsic ligaments. Scapholunate ligament: Intact. Lunotriquetral ligament: Intact. Triangular fibrocartilage complex: Intact. Extrinsic ligaments: Not defined but there is no edema in or under the volapalmar or dorsal capsular region. Extensor tendons: EXT carpi radialis longus and brevis. Lister tubercle: There is mild fluid in the tendon sheath of the extensor carpi radialis longus in keeping with tenosynovitis. EXT pollicis longus: Intact. EXT pollicis brevis and abductor pollicis longus: intact EXT digitorum, EXT indicis: Intact. EXT digiti minimi: Intact. EXT carpi ulnaris: There is subluxation of the extensor carpi ulnaris with a heterogeneous, intermediate increased signal of the tendon distal to the joint line. No definite fiber interruption is identified. In addition, there is mild thickening and edema of the tendon sheath at that level in keeping with mild tenosynovitis. Flexor retinaculum: Defined. Flexor tendons and median nerve: Defined, no abnormal signal. Carpal tunnel at level of hamate hook: No abnormal signal. Pisiform level Guyon canal, ulnar artery and nerve: Defined without abnormal signal. Muscles: Pronator quadratus, intrinsic muscles: Intact. Subcutaneous soft tissues: Infiltration site is identified at the dorsum of the wrist
CONCLUSION: Slightly heterogeneous intermediate increased intrasubstance signal of the distal aspect of the extensor carpi ulnaris distal to the joint line in keeping with tendinosis. In addition, there is subluxation of the tendon and mild tenosynovitis. These findings suggest chronic repetitive stress. Mild incongruency of the distal radioulnar joint. Mild tenosynovitis of the extensor carpi radialis longus. Small ganglion cyst arising from the volar aspect of the distal radio-carpal joint.

so i’m just gonna splurge my experiences. don’t think i’ll post but we’ll see. I’m currently 18 and have never been truly evaluated by a psychologist/ psychiatrist. Since August of last year, me and my roommate have had discussions about our childhoods and just our experiences in the past and present (as a bit of context, I tend to overthink and overanalyze/ morph information in my head, so for a lot of this time I was convinced i had adhd, so i was not thinking about ocd at all at this time, plus i didn’t know what symptoms were associated). We started relating on a lot of stuff the more we spoke, such as having raging intrusive thoughts about our sexuality in middle school, and being worried about being kidnapped in elementary school (checking locks over and over again at night) as well as having intrusive incestual feelings that were uncomfortable, and constant intrusive thoughts/ vile fear of cheating on our partners. These were things that I never amounted to anything, but instead believed was just mild (and normal) anxiety on my part, as I had never had a panic attack (except for once) before. After talking for a while about this stuff during dinner, my roommate asked “have you ever considered that you might have OCD?” She has a diagnosis of OCD from her therapist. All the stuff makes sense to me, but at the same time i feel like my symptoms are too mild now to be sure. there will be little obsessions here and there, like feeling like my arteries are clogging so i avoid greasy food when I see it, or holding my breath around dusty/ old things because im worried it will harbor asbestos, or not eating/tearing pieces off of food if I feel that it has been touched by chemicals or anything dirty because i don’t wanna get sick/ get cancer (im constantly considering if the things im touching/ eating will give me cancer😅). Another one is if my hands are warm from holding my phone i won’t touch them to my face because i don’t want to get brain cancer. sometimes it’s hard to be around family because i can’t shake the feeling that they’re dying (both younger family but most definitely the older family members), or that my mom is going insane/ has dementia because she’s forgetful. i’ll get groinal sensations if i see someone’s hands when they’re talking because i get intrusive thoughts that their hands are touching my nether regions. i had a compulsion where i felt i had to empty my throat just right by letting out air until it felt comfortable (just realized recently that that was a compulsion). I have to check and recheck work multiple times to make sure there are no mistakes which is extremely time consuming. i have an uncomfortable sensation now when i lay down on my right collarbone that i can’t seem to shake and will rub my neck and chest for a while trying to get comfortable(this is new). All of this stuff is pretty mild and i can look past it, but i had a hard time last year with feeling like i was going to cheat on my partner; this was a constant anxiety, and there always had to be something wrong with our relationship that i would talk to him about (i was heavily influenced by social media, and would convince myself that he was abusive, misogynistic, controlling, etc, and he could not convince me otherwise). I also have had health anxiety pretty bad before, where i thought i had pretty much everything in the book and was constantly checking body sensations for confirmation (also thought i was blind at some point). i hear that OCD waxes and wanes, and if i have it then its definitely at a low point which is great. i’d rather know than not. i genuinely cannot tell if im overreacting/ overthinking this or if it is real. another thing that makes me doubt is that i (as of completely recent) can reassure myself and be okay/ logic myself out of some thoughts now. my thoughts aren’t unrelenting anymore/right now (past year) there is more to the things ive thought, but this is the most i should put down i think.