Does headache lessen when imdur taken longer

Class - tank
He will be the "heaviest" character in the game, he will be extremely durable to knockback, but he himself deals insane knockback. However, his dash would be EXTREMELY slow, almost similar to his walking speed. His jumps would also be the lowest out of all characters. In the movies Jason is incredibly strong and throws stuff like it's nothing, but he always walks slowly while hunting for his prey.
Moveset:
Jab - 3 hit jab, and each hit every time is a random weapon: either a slash with a machete, stab with an arrow (reference to one of his first kills ever if I remember correctly) or a hit with a hand.
Dash-hit - he just walks. Aggressivly. Literally. His whole body becomes a hit box, he walks like that for a second before stopping. A reference to him always, menacingly, walking to his victims.
Side tilt (chargable) - Jason places a wall and walks trough it, dealing a huge knockback. He gains armor while charging. Opponent can break the wall while charging, and if the wall breaks, move will deal less knockback
Down tilt (chargable) - Jason seemingly "drowns" into the stage and after 1 second he goes back up, grabbing an opponent and throwing in a forward direction. While charging he can slightly move while he is in "drowned" state.
Up tilt - a heavy swing with an axe from his front, arching to his back, stopping while he performs it (yes, Ganondorf's up smash)
Air down tilt - a stone chained to Jason appears, plunging him with it to the ground (another reference to his movies).
Air side tilt - he takes a slug from "Jason goes to hell" and swings it down-up-down.
Air up tilt - swing with an axe, like his up tilt, but less powerful.
I don't remember if there is an air basic hit in multiversus, but here is the idea anyway - he makes quick stabs with his machete in both sides, from front to back
Specials
Basic special - he grabs his moms sweater and holds it in front of him. If the sweater gets damaged by opponent's attack, it enrages him, making him slightly, just slightly faster and also preforming and charging his attacks a little bit quicker. This move would have a 25 second cooldown, even if the sweater wasn't damaged. The sweater could also be taken by his teammates and it would stay on them for 8 seconds. Breaking a sweater on a teammate would make them enraged instead (for Jason it would mean losing his dead mom's sweater. For his teammates - losing a cozy sweater)
Air Basic special - it's the same, but he falls slightly slower while holding the sweater.
Down special - a reference to "Friday the 13th 8: Jason takes manhattan". Jason enters a stance where he stands in one place. Damage from each hit he receives during this stance would be halved and he he would recieve only 10% knockback. If he takes 5 hits during this stance, he would be enraged just like in his basic special. This is a reference to a scene where Julius hits Jason several times and he does absolutely nothing, and when Julius gets tired, Jason hits his head off with 1 punch. This move would have a 10 second cooldown
Air Down special - it would be a missed opportunity to not include one of the most famous objects from Friday the 13th movies - a canoe. Jason sits in the canoe, stays in the air for a little before plunging down. The speed with which canoe falls increases progressively. This move would NOT have a cooldown, because If he uses it offstage it would mean a certain death for him. High risk - high reward.
Side special - Jason grabs an opponent by their throat and holds them in front of him. He can walk while holding them, but he can't hit them. Pressing side special again would release an opponent. Opponents can break out of his grab, but it would be harder if they have high percentage. This move would allow Jason to take his opponents to the sides where he can finish them off. This move would have a 6 second cooldown.
Air Side special - Jason grabs an opponent, but instead of holding them, he immediately throws them in the direction you choose (instead of up, would be too op)
Up special (chargable)- Jason teleports for a certain distance. The longer you hold the up special, the longer will be the distance. There will be a certain mark pointing at the place jason would teleport. If Jason teleports at the exact place where opponent stands, he would appear right behind them, stunning them (in fear) for 2 seconds. If Jason teleports behind an opponent, but not at the exact place as them, he would face in their direction. This move would have a 7.5 seconds cooldown. This move would reward perfect timing, but it would also be a good way to compensate his slow speed. It is also very menacing in a way that even if Jason suddenly disappears from your view, it doesn't mean that you had disappeared from his.
Air up special(chargable) - Jason teleports up. The longer he holds up special, the longer will be the distance. However, it would have a limit and wouldn't be as far as his ground version. He is also slowed down a bit during falling when he charges this move.
I hope I covered all moves! If I forgot something, write in the comments and I will fix it.
Now, for the other stuff:
Skins - classic hockey mask, bag-head from 2nd movie, cyber-jason from Jason X
Emotes: Free emote - Jason pulls out his machete, and touches its tip with his finger.
Paid emote: Jason pulls his mask up, but his face wouldn't be seen. Instead there would be a pixel filter.
Jason would not have voicelines however, he would make some grunts. If he is facing up against a teenager character (Steven, shaggy, Finn etc.), he would make a long, angry grunt.
If cyber Jason skin is equipped, all his weapons would be futuristic.
I really hope it's him who will be revealed on Monday. It would be so dope!

Border Collie (mix?), 5yr, MN Diet: boiled chicken + rice for the week along with his usual Purina kibble, softened with warm water Location: Mountains of south east USA
So I was watching this dog for a couple of days (Wed-Sat) and noticed some weird looking stool. I have a pic but can’t add it here. Stool was liquid the first day (on Tuesday he had a dental under anesthesia) and became more formed as the week went on but I noticed it looked grainy. There were small white-ish, round grains in it- I broke it apart when I went back out later and there were longer rice grain looking bits. I know this is usually indicative of worms but his caretaker is a vet, he was just recently dewormed (had whipworms) and now is on NexGard+. I was thinking maybe he was still purging dead worms from his system as I am unsure of the exact date he received deworming?
He is a rescue so background is not fully known. Taken very well care of the past month as he’s been in a home!
I don’t have this dog in my house any more, but I’m concerned about possibility that if he had worms still somehow that they got transferred to me and my dog. My dog is on Simparica Trio year round. This dog licked me and my partners faces, so does our dog and he has a tendency to stick his nose in poop. Thanks for any advice! My dog isnt showing symptoms but I didn’t get a chance to check his stool today. Just wondering if I need to get a step ahead on making sure my household is worm free lol!
I can send the picture of the stool if y’all wanna see it or I’ll figure out a way to share it lol

Chapter 3
Hurricane Georg.
Our first contact with the new world was a colossal hurricane. Veins of lightning shattered through the black, swirling clouds. I had just tried to calm the nerves of the ship when I saw Suri sitting in the hall beneath the control room.
She was in a lounge corner with her suitcase opened and her supplies scattered across the small table. The little light from the window illuminated her drawing for me to see over her shoulder.
The black and white sketch began at the bow of the ship. The figure of a man in facing the open ocean. Ahead of him, the familiar despair of Hurricane Georg. The man had his back towards the artist, but his stature sailed through the fierce storm without worry. His gaze only in the beautiful sight of home on the other side.
Her pencil began to etch the details of his crewmans jacket, "You have a gift, Suri. Truly, you do."
She was ahead of me, she did not jump or gasp as I had expected, "Thank you, Capi. I saw you in the reflection. Im hard to get the jump on."
"Then this shouldnt surprise you," I smiled and approached her table. "My capi stars are on the right side, "I stepped back and tapped my shoulder."
Disappointment inked her face, darkening her mood, "Dam."
I laughed and pulled up a chair. She had captured the view from the window perfectly and I made a point to tell her. As we talked the storm outside began to fade. The world around us was healed and the worries of yesterday had never existed.
Her eyes were near black, in color, and her skin was incredibly warm. Physical characteristic were useless to determine where a person was from, but 500 years ago, she would have fit at home with the people of the Middle East. Had I been a different man, her beauty and brain would make a perfect partner.
The longer I stared, the darker the world around us became. Until she broke my gaze and looked shocked at something through the window.
"Did you see that?"
"No, what was it?"
"I-Im not sure..." her face drained of color as the harsh rocking of the storm was interrupted by something else. Suri and I were flung off our chairs onto the floor, her supplies pelting us as they flew through the air. I tried to stand, but my legs were too soft to make it easy.
I struggled to a kneel using the bolted-down desk. Suri gasped and I looked down. The longer I looked, the itchier it became. Once more the world grew darker and I only had enough energy for a simple joke.
"Mr. Morgs was right about those things."
"Gud morning, Capi!" Ennay cheered from the wall-mounted screen.
I struggled to sit myself up. I was in the infirmary, only Ennay was there to greet me. My jacket was gone. All I had on was a white t-shirt and grey shorts.
"Officer Angelhart had your attire taken to be cleaned," Ennay chimed in, "Today is Wednesday, sir, 4:13am. Its the morning after you lost consciousness."
I thanked him and asked him to catch me up on the happenings in the passed half day.
"The reality is unclear, Capi, but Helmsman Archer believes we were attacked by a... a sea monster, sir."
"Archer? Hes no storyteller. Why?" I swung my legs over the bed, "get him down here or tell him im on my way."
Ennay surprised me with his fast response, "No. Sir, We had a breach. Ms. Aziz told the Doctor you had severed and artery during a spell of turbulence. The New Horizon had actually made contact with something what breached the hull. Damage Control responded in 4 minutes and were quick to contain flooding. However, we sustained a second breach."
Before he could continue, I dropped back onto the bed, "Whats the status?"
"On the New Horizon? Operational. A few sections had to be permanently sealed until we are out of this storm."
"And Damage Control?"
Ennay did not respond as quickly as he had been. It felt like an eternity before he told me, "6 casualties," the room fell completely silent. I couldnt even hear my heart beating, "5 fatalities. Sergant Franccigo Blanco is recovering in Infirmary 4C. He is unconscious, but has sustained gruesome wounds. Officer Angelhart declared a S.O.E. to assume your position. Otherwise,..."
"Yes, yes, the prosthetics. I hate that system."
"Well, sir, you are able to disable it."
"What?"
"Its not a very common scenario, but since we are not in International Sea, the law requiring your presence does not necessarily need to be enforced."
I sat back and thought for a second, "Ill discuss it with Dr. Mally. Where are they all?"
"Dr. Mally is in Infirmary 4C with Sergant Blanco. Officer Angelhart is your office filling out an incident report for both your accident and the breaches."
"Thank you, Ennay. Tell Max I am on my way and then let Dr. Mally know I will meet her shortly."
"Of course, sir."
My office was silent except for the fan gently spinning from the ceiling. Across from me was a young man, mid-twenties, with dusty blond hair. His uniform was perfect, he has even removed his hat on the perfect beat upon entering the room.
The appearance and demeanor any ship captain would be beyond proud to accept on his ship. It had just been dumb luck that he had lost both of his eyes to shrapnel sealing off the lower corridors during the state of emergency yesterday.
I poured Mr. Blanco a drink, 2444 Geoff Russel - The Hearty Mans Drink. I needed to finish the incident report, but Id never ask a man to relive what he had without a bit of buzz to his bite.
"So, Sargent Blanco, I-"
"You can call me, Fran, Capi."
"And you can call me Santago, for tonight anyway," I continued my questions. I tried my best to stay shallow and not dive deep into the pain Fran had endures just hours ago.
We talked about the 5 fatalities.
"Did you... see... them die?"
The gauze replacing his eyes stared at me, blankly. His face was uncanny, unhuman. Like the man inside may actually have been a 6th dead body.
"No," he quickly took a drink, "I did hear them, though. They yelled and screamed for me to open the door. I- I couldnt see. I thought the sea water had poisoned me somehow. I kept rubbing and rubbing my eyes hoping to get whatever radioactive stuff out of my head..." He took a breath. He was remarkably calm. Agitated, of course. But calm.
He continued, "I looked through the window on the bulkhead and the last thing I saw was Aleks staring back at me. His eyes were... he was calling out for me, I am sure of it. But something got him and he was sucked out."
"I am so sorry, Fran," I tried to write as quietly as possible to not remind him of the formality, "Do you know what got him?"
He finished his glass. As he set it down, he missed the table. The cup did not shatter, but it had jolted Fran from his memory. He lost his composure.
He started yelling at me about a horrific beast he had seen. How Aleks, Private Aleksander Igorsen, had been encased in blood and black sludge. He swung his hands wildly at the table in a rage, but had only managed to knock over a lamp.
Pity does not begin to describe what I felt watching him. Like a bleeding animal continuing to run from the wolves despite not knowing he was already surrounded. In him, I saw death. I saw anger. I saw fear. I saw what he was feeling imaging the creature that killed his men.
I grappled with him, trying to make my location known and always talking to him. I was not some monster from the unknown blackness set on hunting him and he needed to know that. He continued to struggle until I had completely engulfed his whirlwind into a hug. The screams turned to cries and then to whimpers.
After some time, I dismissed him back to his room and instructed Ennay that he was on suicide watch. Sergant Franccigo Blanco had earned a promotion or a permanent dismissal, whichever he wanted, but I needed him to take time to himself before I reminded him where we are.
The storm was intense, but at least it was consistent. By Katzs reckoning, we are approaching the halfway point of this hurricane. We had entered it 51 hours ago and Katz had said we are another 50 away from clear skies.
Unfortunately for all of us, Katzs theory was not seen through.
It began with our solar panelling being severed from their operating power banks. That was not a major issue, hydropower was our primary source. The issue arose when the New Horizon began to spin.
I had radioed the Helmsman demanding why we are weighing anchor, but the anchor was still resting above water. He said no one dropped the anchor. Something else entirely had us. We rushed to every window, every pane of glass to search for whatever it was that was stopping us.
Ennay spoke out, "Capi, Major Gorlammi has spotted our snag at 129 degrees. Nearest viewpoint is Residential Room L3D, assigned to L-"
I ignored the rest, I needed to see what was in that window. Luckily for me, Lucy Partridge was not home. I burst through the door and, for the first time, I saw a behemoth of a serpent-like creature sticking out of the water. I could not see a head, nor tail. I also had no idea if what I saw was the body or an appendage connected to some inconceivably large beast.
After enough time, I manage to figure out one of the ships heavy guns had pierced the creature and was holding us together. Our best bet was to either rotate the gun and hope its dislodged or to remove the gun entirely.
I relayed this information to Ennay to alerted the Gunner Teams and Damage Control. Yet, none of them would be given the chance. In the distance, silhouetted by sparks of lightning the size of the ship, I saw the head of the creature. It must have been miles away, but the size was unparalleled. Its head leaped from the water and swiveled back towards us. It was like a colossal eel. Flashes of light showed through its skin like veins until it sent a surge into the gun and into the ship.
The lights went out across the boat. The only light was the occasional flash from outside. It was completely dark, but I knew it was still coming for us.
I ran out of the quarters as emergency lights slowly burned. The hallway must have been 100 feet long before Id reach the staircase, but when I was halfway through, my feet left the ground.
I felt weightless for a moment. The lights burned out and all around me was darkness. My heart was incredibly slow or maybe time had slowed. I felt the doorframe to Mrs. Partridges room snap against my elbow. There was no pain. I didnt even feel pain when glass cut across my back as I was hurled through the shattered window.
I crashed into the water, it must have been hundreds of feet below me. I was in shock. I looked around and all I saw was darkness. Then, suddenly, all I saw was light. The eel sent a pulse through its body and for the first time I saw the monster entirely. It surrounded the ship above water, coiled all about the waves, and entangled the entire ocean as deep as I could see.
This is not a colossal eel surviving a hurricane.
This colossal eel is the very being causing the hurricane.
A cosmic terror named Hurricane Georg.

Royal Road here: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/80877/nop-atalors-fate
Discord Tag: notafurrylad
It's been a while, huh?

First Last Next
Memory transcription subject: Yivreen, Cyonian Survivor
Date [standardized human time]: February 22nd, 2134
The flash daymares hadn’t stopped. Four nights since they’d set in, and now those two fire and brimstone eyes were lingering, waiting to come out when I was asleep. I’d thought that first daymare had been a fluke. It’d felt real, getting chomped up like that, crushed. But... ah.
I’d had more. Once I was in the mouth of that Arxur who’d kicked down the tree. Then I was in the cages with Hens Jr and Sr, and Alma... And each time if there was time for it that swampheaded, red eyed, smokey Arxur would come on in. Try and guilt me like I’d done something wrong.
It was working.
“Yiv. Yiv! I think I got it!” I blinked, my stupor broken by Junior. The kid had been a good help with the computer system since we’d let him fiddle with it instead of me. Much to my... begrudging admission: he was better at it. So, I stood from the chair and headed over to him. The monitor and console were lit up good as new, but they’d been like that for a couple nights now. We’d finally got access to a local map when that’d happened. Or rather a map of the surrounding area, outdated as it was it still had the location of the city on it. It wasn’t like anything had significantly changed in the past hundreds of years since this place had been abandoned. It had been the whole ‘trying to page it into the rest of the old systems at the outpost’ part that’d eluded Juniors little pet project.
“What did you get?” I replied, leaning over his shoulder with a paw on the console while he typed at it.
He cleared his throat. “W-well. I was able to find the wire that’d been causing the problem with the connection to the outpost’s server.” A server? What?
“What do you mean a server? I thought the only computer systems in here were in this room?” He turned his head, a brown eye winking at me. “Nuh-uh! Were you even listening when I explained it earlier? It’s more than just a weather monitoring station. It had a server, otherwise why would it need so many type-v connectors. See?” He pointed a claw to the bundle of wiring running up the wall and into a concrete hole that looked to lead to the next floor above us. Probably. I hadn’t really cared about how many wires there were.
“So... there’s more than just the databanks here in this room?” I asked. My eyes were tasked with looking over the monitor with pursed lips. I’d dug through some ye olde outpost files in the past nights for my journalist program but evidently I’d been missing things if all it took was one kid who had a knack for tech to ascertain there was more to these places.
Before my question could be answered though the command lines and startup protocols on the operating system for the thing had popped by and opened up onto a familiar desktop of our more modern tech. Junior went about clicking immediately to some command line and writing in some jibberish... And- my eyes widened. “What’s that?” I asked, pointing my claw to all the commands on his little black background’d screen.

1: Status
2: Logs
3: Garage Door
4: Barrack Override
5: Communications

Were among the top five, with a half dozen more I didn’t quite have time to think on. “Quick- quick! The uh- There’s a garage?” Don’t get distracted Yivreen. Ahhh moss-heaps.. “The Barrack Override. See what that does.”
The boy swatted away my paw trying to push at it. “Calm down! Calm down jeez, fine!” He jammed his digit into the corresponding number and pressed enter. A few moments passed as it simply displayed three dots. I waited... I waited.. Cmoooo-
Clank. VV-vv-vvv-veeeeeee....
It sounded like something behind the wall to our left was trying to unrust itself and move. A couple hundred years of not moving or being maintained had probably ensured it’d never get moving smooth again. Then of course the universe proved me wrong, and the wall actually shifted. The rounded metal slab I’d taken for a part of the tower’s superstructure began to lower, and behind it... “Holy shit.”
I don’t know where the extreme language had come from but... Wow. My eyes lit. Bunks. Bedding. Lockers.. It looked like the room beyond had been some sort of lodging area for soldiery when this place was built. But there’d been a grow-in on the back wall from a massive root. Snaring part of the room in its gripping-vinelike vice grip. The root was long dead, and the hole it’d bored through the concrete had left the inside exposed to the elements a touch more than if it’d just been left... At least there wasn’t much evidence of water damage.
“Yiv? Are you-” But I was already headed through the way, a paw on my pistol as I glanced around the abandoned room. My mind went right to checking out the lockers, which turned out to be a good idea. My little training sessions into understanding the named bits for guns with Alma were about to start paying off.
“We’ve got guns. Or... Something like guns.” I announced, pulling out the carrying case and flipping it open. Inside I found what looked to be a.. Hrm- no magazine, no bullets... I lifted it up, the rifle-like hardened carbon material was in remarkably good shape. Probably due to the case and materials, but something was different about it. I glanced my eyes over it, noting the electronic aiming system on top which... when I clicked at it offered a red circle for looking through the little scope with. Huh. Not a common thing to find on a Cyonian designed weapon, at least not these nights. This place was old, but this weapon looked like it’d been built by something more ambitious than Federation paws. Federation handhelds were all modified from the same combustion based lead belchers. A fact that rarely ever went unspoken on our own networks when we needed a reason to criticize Aafa.
It took a while longer, but eventually I did find a snap-button on the back of the trigger grip that made something inside it hum to life. My eyes widened. “It’s... An energy weapon.” I murmured. My tail flicking in apprehension. Would it even still fire? The red blinking just below the button told me it must have no power perhaps but... “Hey. Junior. You think you could figure out how to charge one of these guys-?”
I turned my head to see the kid standing at the threshold with his tail in his paws, gripping them anxiously. “Yiv. The uh. The communications aren’t working, but I think the garage door might open if we try it. It could be that cropping of wall and sealed door we figured the old power system must have been housed in right?” He glanced to the rifle in my paws. “I mean, if it uses the same standards as the computer out here it should still be compatible with our stuff. But- we don’t have anything to charge power packs of that size.” He pointed to the fixture sticking out the bottom of the stock. Hrm, he was right.
“See if you can’t get the garage open. I’ll keep looking in here and see if there’s something to help with that.” Came my own voice, I felt... Giddy. Alive. The potential to fight back was intoxicating. Before all I’d had was this dinky pistol I’d used to... kill a couple of the greys. But if we could bring the fight to their patrols, save more people-
I shook my head. Why was I thinking like this? I couldn’t stand up to an invasion fleet. I’d been a frightened Sivkit on the first night of the attack. I- I’d stampeded. I couldn’t remember any of it, but the chance I’d trampled someone in my panic was not zero. I might have contributed to someone being crushed... I’d failed Els, that soldier I’d dragged into the house. Obelisk I couldn’t even keep my mind straight in a fight with those howling, laughing Arxur in my head. The campfire fight had been a fluke!
I didn’t quite know how long I just sat there, staring at the rifle beating myself up, but eventually I was shaken from it by Keick when she sat beside me, an arm on my shoulder. “Hey. I heard you and Junior had a bit breakthrough eh?” She said non-chalantly. I could tell though, even with the chipper tone she’d read me. The accountant knew I’d been in one of my little moods. She’d known me the longest of anyone here, everyone else was like... a pack of convenience? Maybe not Junior. Keick and I had survived the woods together. I’d pulled her from her own hells next to that burning car.
“Hey.” I returned back. “Yeah. Junior got the servers working. Or something like that.” I pointed a claw over at the computer, only to notice he was gone now. I blinked. Had I been out of it that long?
Keick filled in the hole in my head. “He went with his old man to go check out the garage.” Oh. Yeah.
I looked around, “Ah. The guns. We have guns now. Real guns.” I explained, holding the one I had in my paws up for her to inspect.
“Doesn’t look like any gun I’ve seen.” She mused back, taking it from my grip. My body was moving on its own now, rummaging deeper into the lockers. Some of these cases had been broken by the snaring, smaller branches of the grow-in. The firearms within cracked open and busted. Probably no good at all, exposed to the ambient humidity as they had been for so long. Still, couple of the other rifle cases were good. We had weapons, plural. Binoculars? Got em. Spare power packs that needed charging? Got em. There was a lot of survival gear here. Like a militarized ranger outpost had been stationed here. The synthetic material of the camouflaged cloak I found proudly proclaimed it’d reflect thermal scanning on its faded label even! “Either the old rangers from before the treaties were really into operator stuff or the Obelisk put all this here just for us.” I murmured.
Keick, for her part seemed to be looking it all over with a little inventory in her head. Already tapping in the number of each item into her dataslate. “Well. I’d go with the former. The Obelisk hasn’t been around for us lately.” Came the reply as she poked a claw at one of the now entirely spoiled ration packs. “Still, there’s enough stuff here you could arm a squad of soldiers probably. If you know where we can find some spare soldiers that is.”
I flicked my ear at the poor humoured joke. “Ahuh.” Came my reply. “Maybe you should go try the radio again, they’d love to get their paws on stuff like this I think. Pre-war tech actually made to fight predators like this is rare.” Which begged the question... Why did the cloak boast about defeating thermals? These outposts were dated after our discovery and incorporation into the Federation as an early member, and WELL before the Arxur war. So why had we built cloaks like these? Was this equipment used during the years when we’d resisted the burning of our forests and jungles? If so, it meant it might have been auhh... much more violent then the archives made it out to be. Maybe there was a story here? My inner journalist was theorizing.
___________________________
I’d had to pick my jaw up off the ground after headed over to the garage. Hens Senior and Alma were leaned over the the opened hood of what looked like a remarkably still intact forest rover. The design was actually recognizable, having not changed much from what we had tonight. Six thick grooved tires, a buggy-like cockpit four seater set in the middle, and a back and top rack for storing anything you could want. “Is it working?” I asked the obvious as I stepped inside, noting Junior sat off to the side, fiddling with some wall mounted box or other. He didn’t look to actually know what he was doing beyond dusting it off and giving it a deep stare.
“I wouldn’t think so.” Came the chime of Keick, who’d followed me inside. It was around now my monocular visioned eyes were noting the various tools and spare parts laying around in the garage. Whoever had last been here had left in a hurry seemingly, because it was mostly stocked. No mess on all the immensely dusty parts. I could see a couple smaller fauna in the corners. A lizard here, a rodent there. Obviously there had been some way they’d chewed their way in at some point... Or they’d come in when the door was opened to the bustle and noise of the forest to my back.
It was Senior who looked back at my question, standing to his full height before leaning his back against the old vehicle. “No. It isn’t working. Or at least it won’t be until I figure a way to give the battery juice.” I tilted my head.
“Is it one of those older ones that zap out after a hundred years or so?” Came my obvious question.
He flicked his tail no. “It’s got one of the standard ones, it’s just that it stopped auto-cycling a couple hundred years ago. The electric motor looks like it should work if we pop it on. But we’ll have to see.” He glanced around the workshop. “I want to say we could probably get it working with the tools we have, but if the battery can’t be jumped, or it’s spent, or the motor needs a complete replacement we’re up a creek on getting it working.” It sounded like he knew a bit about it.
The feeling of my face scrunching ever so much came. “You didn’t tell me you were a handyman.” I said, crossing my arms.
“Well it never came up.” He said back with an affable smile. “Listen, it’s been a long couple weeks. Don’t get all spotty with me. We didn’t have anything a hobbying mechanic could fix anyhow.” Just a roll of the eyes from myself is all that met him as Keick spoke up, stepping over to the other three.
“So what’re you gonna jump it with?” She asked incredulously, leaning over the open cabin. From there I sort of... zoned out. All the older Cyonians present were bickering and blathering about the buggy which was quickly losing interest for me. I didn’t understand anything about mechanics like that beyond the bare minimum, so it was out of my purview. If they got it working that’d be another thing but I wouldn’t have been any help right now, so instead I placed a couple careful paws down until I was beside Junior, sitting next to him as he seemed to be eyeballing some far too faded label.
He had a paw lightly rubbing out the dust that’d caked an outlet, still one brown eye fixed on the label. All I could make out myself was the little yellow square symbol warning of an electric charge hazard. Weird to think even now those hadn’t changed. Had Federation technology really not changed all that much? Was it just us? A sigh. “So. What’s got your your nose twitching little dude?”
The past couple nights he’d gotten better with his anger, and... hadn’t destroyed any important tech in a fit of rage. All he’d needed was something to set himself to in a difficult situation like this. Keich had been right to set him on that computer. And.. I’d felt myself trying to encourage him along the way. Partly because I had an investment in getting those maps, and then partly because he’d ended up filling in a spot in my head like a younger cousin. Him and his old man had only been around for a little bit, but I guess maybe I didn’t want to think too hard about what had probably happened to my real family. For now, maybe I felt the most ‘at home’ around Keich and this little tinkerer. Was that weird? It felt like it should be weird.
He answered, looking up with a small upturn in his lips. “I think I found your energy cell charger for those guns you had.” He said simply. “One of the manuals over there wasn’t totally ruined, I saw something about a ‘optical projector weapon’ and ‘charger’ so I was trying to figure out if this was it. I... Think it might be, but I’d need one of those batteries to make sure.”
Now I felt like smirking. “Oh yeah? Well go get one swamp brain. Let’s see if these things still work huh?” Dutifully, he was up and off, tail shaking behind him in what I recognized as excitement. We weren’t totally defenceless anymore, and if the buggy could be salvaged there would be a means at least to relocate if we had to. Or... Maybe I could take a trip down to the city and paint a couple more of those scumbags red-
I shook my head. Where had that thought come from? If I was going back to Ataln it was to try and save more people... Yeah. I still needed to see if Gael was alive, maybe check that old house I’d left Els in. I don’t even know if I could find it now, knowing how scatterbrained I’d been at the time but- making a return to at least try seemed worth it.
Regardless, the box on the wall did turn out to be the correct port to charge energy cells for the guns. We’d just need to rig it up to the solar power system and juice them up to test them. Things were looking up! Our mobility had the potential to go from nights in every direction for shelter to mere hours, I’d just have to hope Senior knew what he was doing.
“Hey. Buddy.” I’d wrapped my arm around Junior’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go take a break for now huh? You were working on the computer all night. Maybe it’d be a good idea to just go relax. Enjoy how much you got done eh?” Besides. Gave me a good way to check out the logs page on the computer system myself before he stumbled on anything. It wasn’t like I didn’t trust him with it but- well there was no way to know what was in those logs.
He nodded, and with that I stood up, streeeetched out, and headed toward the tower. “Good, it’s your shift on the guard tower anyway.” I intoned politely. It was going to be a long day, assuming there was anything of substance in those logs... Scrounging through those would be preferable to sleeping right now anyway.

Hi everyone! I deal with BPD, anxiety, depression, CPTSD and panic disorder. I’m on 7 meds now (my psychiatrist and I are trying to lessen it but I recently went through a klonopin withdrawal, 2 months since I stopped taking it completely). I’m on pristiq (for depression), abilify (will be getting off), gabapentin (will going only be taken as needed), buspar (anxiety), hydroxizine pamoate (anxiety), clondine (for klonopin withdrawal), and just started lamictal (for bpd).
I deal with panic attacks and major general and health anxiety specifically in the last year when I started klonopin and dealt with the horrid side effects of becoming dependent on it. I feel similarly about clondine as it messes my heart. I haven’t drink in 10 months (since I got on klonopin but am off now).
I used to smoke a few times a week and it helped alot with my anxiety. But when I got on klonopin when I would smoke it felt like my brain is on fire and would trigger a panic attack and the last time it gave me heart palpitations and I went to the er. I tried it a few times in the 10 month period and it would usually do that but a few times it went good. I’m off klonopin now and 2 months post it and was wondering can I smoke? Will it give me the brain on fire effect or the heart palpitations. I have health anxiety since starting klonopin so I’m worried what it will do.
And similarly, since I’m off klonopin, can I drink? I tried drinking once since getting off it and it made my heart race and gave me a headache. I know from the information I gave you the answer to both would be no. But smoking used to help my anxiety and was a big part of my life. I’m not so much a drinker but I like drinking once a month with friends socially. Since I stopped both I feel so out of place, upset, and just want to feel normal and back to my old self. When I drank and smoke before I was on cymbalta and buspar only and it would go great, no side effects or anything. Please be kind and let me know what you guys think! And of course I ask my psychiatrist but she says always avoid drinking while on medications and she doesn’t know with the weed but I could try again that.

~RIGL Thesis – 5/18/2024~
Outstanding Shares 175M
131 Institutional Holders
111,129,461 Total Shares Held
63.36% Institutional Ownership
Total Cash on Hand 3/31/2024 = $49.6M
Total Debt: $101.5M
Cash Burn Approximate = $8M per quarter (6 quarters of cash without any increases in revenue)
Q12023 REV = $26M
Q22023 REV = $26.8M
Q32023 REV = $28.1M
Q42023 REV = $35.8M
Q12024 REV = $29.5M (Decline from Q4 likely from end of year versus new-year tracking of Rx and shipments of drugs, resetting of Copays)
Most Recent EPS -$0.05 per share
May 22, 2024 - Vote on S will take place, caution
~Statistics Applicable To Thesis~
333.3 million US Population (2022)
8,109,679,892 Global Population (2024)
~Drugs On Market~
~Tavalisse – Treatment for ITP, FDA Approved April 17, 2018~
~What is ITP?~
Immune thrombocytopenia (ITP) is an illness that can lead to bruising and bleeding. Low levels of the cells that help blood clot, also known as platelets, most often cause the bleeding.
Once known as idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura, ITP can cause purple bruises. It also can cause tiny reddish-purple dots on the skin that look like a rash.
Children can get ITP after a virus. They most often get better without treatment. In adults, the illness often lasts months or years. People with ITP who aren't bleeding and whose platelet count isn't too low might not need treatment. For worse symptoms, treatment might include medicines to raise platelet count or surgery to remove the spleen. Immune thrombocytopenia (ITP) - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic
~What is Tavalisse?~
TAVALISSE is a prescription medication used to treat adults with low platelet counts due to chronic immune thrombocytopenia (ITP) when a prior treatment for ITP has not worked well enough. It is not known if TAVALISSE is safe and effective in children.
The cost for Tavalisse oral tablet 100 mg is around $15,404 for a supply of 60 tablets, depending on the pharmacy you visit. Quoted prices are for cash-paying customers and are not valid with insurance plans. This price guide is based on using the Drugs.com discount card which is accepted at most U.S. pharmacies.
Tavalisse Prices, Coupons, Copay & Patient Assistance - Drugs.com
TAVALISSE IS AN ORAL MEDICATION TAKEN TWICE DAILY WITH OR WITHOUT FOOD¹
A 12-week evaluation period is recommended
60 tablets = 1 month supply, evaluation period = 3 months, Cost for 3 months = $46,212 Cash, assuming cheaper through wholesale, insurance, discount cards, etc.
Dosing TAVALISSE® (fostamatinib disodium hexahydrate) tablets (tavalissehcp.com)
~Addressable Market~
“Our findings suggest that nearly 20,000 children and adults are newly diagnosed with ITP each year in the US, substantially higher than previously reported. Among patients requiring formal medical care, the economic burden during the first 12 months following diagnosis is high, with estimated US expenditures totaling over $400 million.”
Primary immune thrombocytopenia in US clinical practice: incidence and healthcare burden in first 12 months following diagnosis - PubMed (nih.gov)
The estimated prevalence of ITP in the United States is 9.5 per 100,000 people, with a global prevalence of over 200,000 people at any given time [1].
Immune thrombocytopenia. [ Oct; 2022 ]. 2022. https://rarediseases.org/rare-diseases/immune-thrombocytopenia
~Author Calculations/Estimates~
ITP estimated cases based on measured statistics 31,635 cases a year in the US and 770,355 cases globally each year.
~Rezlidhia – R Acute Myeloid Leukemia, FDA Approved December, 22, 2022~
~What is Relapsed or Refractory Acute Myeloid Leukemia?~
Relapsed, or recurrent, acute myeloid leukemia (AML) means the leukemia has come back after treatment and remission.
Refractory AML means the leukemia did not respond to treatment. Complete remission has not been reached because the chemotherapy drugs did not kill enough leukemia cells.
Both relapsed and refractory AML need more treatment to reach complete remission.
Your healthcare team will suggest treatments based on your needs and work with you to develop a treatment plan. Some factors considered for your treatment include:
your age
your health
how long the leukemia was in remission
treatments you had before
where the leukemia comes back
Treatment options usually include chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant if possible. Targeted therapy may also be used.
Treatments for relapsed or refractory acute myeloid leukemia Canadian Cancer Society
~What is IDH1?~
Somatic mutations in isocitrate dehydrogenase (IDH) genes occur frequently in adult Acute myeloid leukemia (AML) and less commonly in pediatric AML… Enhanced genomic and epigenomic profiling of acute myeloid leukemia (AML) has led to identification of recurrent mutations that are prognostic and are candidates for targeted therapy. Somatic mutations in isocitrate dehydrogenase (IDH) genes, IDH1 and IDH2, occur in ∼6% to 16% and ∼8% to 19% of adult patients with AML, respectively.^1-5 In pediatric AML, IDH mutations are rare, occurring in <4% of patients.^6-11
Characteristics and prognostic impact of IDH mutations in AML: a COG, SWOG, and ECOG analysis Blood Advances American Society of Hematology (ashpublications.org)
~What is Rezlidhia?~
REZLIDHIA is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with acute myeloid leukemia (AML) with an isocitrate dehydrogenase-1 (IDH1) mutation when the disease has come back or has not improved after previous treatment(s).
Targeted Treatment REZLIDHIA® (olutasidenib) capsules
The cost for Rezlidhia oral capsule 150 mg is around $17,468 for a supply of 30 capsules, depending on the pharmacy you visit. Quoted prices are for cash-paying customers and are not valid with insurance plans. This price guide is based on using the Drugs.com discount card which is accepted at most U.S. pharmacies.
Rezlidhia Prices, Coupons, Copay & Patient Assistance - Drugs.com%20is%20a%20member,on%20the%20pharmacy%20you%20visit.)
~Addressable Market~
The annual incidence of new cases in both men and women is approximately 4.3 per 100,000 population, totaling over 20,000 cases per year in the United States alone.[13] The median age at the time of diagnosis is about 68, with a higher prevalence observed among non-Hispanic Whites. Furthermore, males exhibit a higher incidence compared to females, with a ratio of 5:3.
Acute Myeloid Leukemia - StatPearls - NCBI Bookshelf (nih.gov)
~Author Calculations/Estimates~
Cases of AML with IDH1 would be 11% based on the median of statistics above (6% to 16%) leaving approximately 1500 to 2000 cases a year in the US. Appling the same calculations to world population would amount to approximately 38,500 cases a year globally.
~Gavreto – Treats RET+ Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer In Adults and RET+ Thyroid Cancer in Kids and Adults, FDA Approved August 9, 2023~
For the sake of common ground, I am going to assume these types of cancers do not need to be elaborated on as we all likely have a basic understanding of what they are. The medical conditions treated by Tavalisse and Rezlidhia I felt needed a more in-depth explanation because they are not common. I will elaborate on RET+ a little later in this writing.
~What is Gavreto?~
GAVRETO is an oral once daily prescription medicine used to treat certain cancers caused by abnormal rearranged during transfection ~(RET+)~ genes in:
Adults with non-small cell lung cancer (NSCLC) that has spread
Adults and children 12 years of age and older with advanced thyroid cancer or thyroid cancer that has spread who require a medicine by mouth or injection (systemic therapy) and who have received radioactive iodine and it did not work or is no longer working*
It is not known if GAVRETO is safe and effective when used to treat cancers caused by abnormal RET genes in children for the treatment of NSCLC or in children younger than 12 years of age for the treatment of thyroid cancer.
Home GAVRETO® (pralsetinib)
The cost for Gavreto oral capsule 100 mg is around $11,745 for a supply of 60 capsules, depending on the pharmacy you visit. Quoted prices are for cash-paying customers and are not valid with insurance plans. This price guide is based on using the Drugs.com discount card which is accepted at most U.S. pharmacies.
The recommended dosage for adults and children 12 and over is 400mg orally once daily. Each capsule is 100mg, which means you will take 4 capsules. Gavreto should be taken on an empty stomach, at least 1 hour before or 2 hours after a meal.
Gavreto Prices, Coupons, Copay & Patient Assistance - Drugs.com
~What is Rearranged During Transfection Positive (RET+)?~
RET-positive cancer is caused by a mutation or abnormal re-arrangement of the RET gene. It occurs most commonly in lung cancer and several types of inherited and sporadic thyroid cancers. RET alterations also occur in an estimated 1-2% of multiple other cancers, including ovarian, pancreatic, salivary, breast, and colorectal cancers.
RETpositive Empowering Patients and Driving Research
Rearranged during transfection (RET) rearrangements were first identified as oncogenic drivers in NSCLC in 2012. The proportion of patients with NSCLC who have RET rearrangements (ie, fusion-positive disease) is approximately 1%-2%.
RET Fusion-Positive Non-small Cell Lung Cancer: The Evolving Treatment Landscape The Oncologist Oxford Academic (oup.com)
RET alterations occur most commonly in lung cancer (non-small cell lung cancer (NSCLC)) and the number of new cases diagnosed each year is considerable, accounting for approximately 37,500 [IG1] cases worldwide and 4,000 cases in the US (2% of NSCLC) (2,3). RET alterations are also common in several types of inherited and sporadic thyroid cancers and can occur in other types of cancers like ovarian, breast, pancreatic, and colorectal cancers, among others (4-8) adding >110,000 cases yearly worldwide (9).
What is RET Positive Lung Cancer? - The Happy Lungs Project
(2) Although medullary thyroid carcinoma represents 5-10% of all thyroid cancers, activating RET gene abnormalities occur in over 90% of hereditary and approximately 40%-60% of sporadic medullary thyroid carcinoma cases.
Patients – RETpositive%20Although%20medullary%20thyroid%20carcinoma,sporadic%20medullary%20thyroid%20carcinoma%20cases.)
~Prevalence of Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer~
Most lung cancer statistics include both small cell lung cancer (SCLC) and non-small cell lung cancer (NSCLC). In general, about 10% to 15% of all lung cancers are SCLC, and about 80% to 85% are NSCLC.
Lung cancer (both small cell and non-small cell) is the second most common cancer in both men and women in the United States (not counting skin cancer). In men, prostate cancer is more common, while breast cancer is more common in women.
The American Cancer Society’s estimates for lung cancer in the US for 2024 are:
About 234,580 new cases of lung cancer (116,310 in men and 118,270 in women)
About 125,070 deaths from lung cancer (65,790 in men and 59,280 in women)
Lung Cancer Statistics How Common is Lung Cancer? American Cancer Society
Worldwide, an estimated 2,206,771 people were diagnosed with lung cancer in 2020. These statistics include both small cell lung cancer and NSCLC.
Lung Cancer - Non-Small Cell: Statistics Cancer.Net
~Author Calculations/Estimates~
Approximately 187,664 cases of NSCLC in the US based on an 80% factor.
Approximately 1,765,416 cases of NSCLC worldwide based on an 80% factor.
~Prevalence of Thyroid Cancer~
Rate of New Cases and Deaths per 100,000: The rate of new cases of thyroid cancer was 13.5 per 100,000 men and women per year. The death rate was 0.5 per 100,000 men and women per year. These rates are age-adjusted and based on 2017–2021 cases and 2018–2022 deaths.
Lifetime Risk of Developing Cancer: Approximately 1.2 percent of men and women will be diagnosed with thyroid cancer at some point during their lifetime, based on 2017–2019 data. Lifetime risk based on data through 2022 will available soon.
Prevalence of This Cancer: In 2021, there were an estimated 979,295 people living with thyroid cancer in the United States.
Thyroid Cancer — Cancer Stat Facts
About 44,020 new cases of thyroid cancer (12,500 in men and 31,520 in women)
About 2,170 deaths from thyroid cancer (990 in men and 1,180 in women)
Thyroid cancer is often diagnosed at a younger age than most other adult cancers. The average age when a person is diagnosed with thyroid cancer is 51.
This cancer is about 3 times more common in women than in men. It is about 40% to 50% less common in Black people than in any other racial or ethnic group.
Key Statistics for Thyroid Cancer American Cancer Society)
Addressable Market
Given Gavreto’s dual treatment capacity, the total amount of potential patients with NSCLC with RET+ indications would be approximately 2,800 cases in the US and approximately 26,500 cases worldwide each year using a factor of 1.5% of total NSCLC cases. The total amount of treatable cases for Thyroid Cancer would be approximately 650 in the US and 16,500 cases worldwide respectively each year applying the same 1.5% RET+ percentage rate. DOUBLE CHECK MATH…
~Rigel Pharmaceuticals Pipeline~
~IRAK/4 – Clinical Trials~
Rigel’s investigational candidate, R289, is an oral, potent and selective inhibitor of interleukin receptor-associated kinases 1 and 4 (IRAK1/4).
Toll like receptors (TLRs) and the interleukin 1 receptor family (IL-1Rs) play a critical role in the innate immune response and dysregulation of these pathways can lead to a variety of inflammatory conditions such as psoriasis, rheumatoid arthritis, and inflammatory bowel disease. Chronic stimulation of both receptor systems has also been implicated in causing a pro-inflammatory bone marrow environment leading to persistent cytopenias in lower-risk myelodysplastic syndrome (LR-MDS) patients1.
R835 is a selective dual inhibitor of IRAK1/4 that blocks TLR4 and IL-1R-dependent systemic cytokine release. In preclinical studies, R835 demonstrated activity in multiple animal models of inflammatory disease2,3 and showed that dual inhibition of IRAK1 and IRAK4 provided more complete suppression of inflammatory cytokines when compared to an IRAK4-selective inhibitor4.
Development of R289:
In a Phase 1 clinical trial, R835 was well tolerated and inhibited LPS-induced inflammatory cytokine production in healthy volunteers, demonstrating proof-of-mechanism.5 Phase 1 clinical studies of R289 (an oral prodrug that is rapidly converted to R835 in the gut) are also complete.
A Phase 1b open-label, multicenter trial of R289 in patients with relapsed/refractory lower-risk MDS is currently enrolling (NCT05308264). The primary endpoint for this trial is safety with key secondary endpoints including preliminary efficacy and evaluation of pharmacokinetic properties.
~Bemcentinib – Bergenbio Partnership~
In June 2011, Rigel entered into an exclusive, worldwide research, development and commercialization agreement with BerGenBio for its investigational AXL receptor tyrosine kinase (AXL) inhibitor, R428 (now referred to as bemcentinib).
Bemcentinib is a potent, selective and orally bioavailable AXL inhibitor and the furthest along in clinical trials. In preclinical studies, bemcentinib was shown to have an effect as a single agent therapeutic in the prevention and reversal of acquired resistance to standard of care cytotoxics and targeted therapies and may also slow or prevent tumor metastasis.
Rigel received an upfront payment and is eligible for milestone payments and potential sublicensing revenue, as well as tiered royalty payments on any future net sales of products emerging from the collaboration.
~R552 Systemic – Eli Lilly Partnership~
Rigel’s investigational candidates are oral, potent and selective inhibitors of receptor-interacting serine/threonine-protein kinase 1 (RIPK1).
RIPK1 is a critical signaling protein implicated in a broad range of key inflammatory cellular processes including necroptosis, a type of regulated cell death, and cytokine production. In necroptosis, cells rupture leading to the dispersion of cell contents, which can trigger an immune response and enhance inflammation. RIPK1 inhibition has therapeutic potential in treating autoimmune, inflammatory, and neurodegenerative disorders.
Rigel’s RIPK1 inhibitor program includes R552, a systemic molecule being developed for the treatment of autoimmune and inflammatory disorders, and brain penetrating RIPK1 inhibitors for central nervous system (CNS) diseases. In preclinical studies, R552 demonstrated prevention of joint and skin inflammation in a RIPK1-mediated murine model of inflammation and tissue damage.
Development of R552:
In Q2 2023, the initial Phase 2a trial (NCT05848258) in moderately to severely active rheumatoid arthritis (RA) was initiated by partner Eli Lilly.
Development CNS-penetrating RIPK1 inhibitors:
Currently in preclinical studies.
~Milademetan – Daiichi Sankyo Partnership~
Rigel has a long-standing collaboration with Daiichi-Sankyo for developing murine double minute 2 (MDM2) protein inhibitors in cancer, which were discovered in Rigel’s laboratories.
Preliminary safety and efficacy data from an early Phase 1 study of milademetan (formerly DS-3032), an oral selective MDM2 inhibitor, in hematological malignancies suggests that it may be a promising potential treatment for oncology indications.
Rigel received an upfront payment and is eligible for milestone payments, as well as tiered royalty payments on any future net sales of any products emerging from the collaboration.
~Rxxx (CNS Penetrant) – Eli Lilly Partnership~
Rigel’s investigational candidates are oral, potent and selective inhibitors of receptor-interacting serine/threonine-protein kinase 1 (RIPK1).
RIPK1 is a critical signaling protein implicated in a broad range of key inflammatory cellular processes including necroptosis, a type of regulated cell death, and cytokine production. In necroptosis, cells rupture leading to the dispersion of cell contents, which can trigger an immune response and enhance inflammation. RIPK1 inhibition has therapeutic potential in treating autoimmune, inflammatory, and neurodegenerative disorders.
Rigel’s RIPK1 inhibitor program includes R552, a systemic molecule being developed for the treatment of autoimmune and inflammatory disorders, and brain penetrating RIPK1 inhibitors for central nervous system (CNS) diseases. In preclinical studies, R552 demonstrated prevention of joint and skin inflammation in a RIPK1-mediated murine model of inflammation and tissue damage.
Development of R552:
In Q2 2023, the initial Phase 2a trial (NCT05848258) in moderately to severely active rheumatoid arthritis (RA) was initiated by partner Eli Lilly.
Development CNS-penetrating RIPK1 inhibitors:
Currently in preclinical studies. Pipeline :: Rigel Pharmaceuticals, Inc. (RIGL)
~Summary and Prediction~
The current share price of sub $1 does not feel justified. I would anticipate financial breakeven by the end of 2024 or potentially in Q1 or Q2 of 2025. The robust pipeline, progress, and expected revenue growth are enough to justify a much higher valuation. The debt load is manageable, but the potential for S is concerning. I believe that the S is not necessary and revenue growth and progress should speak for itself. I am not as bullish as the analysts at HC Wainright for a $15 PT, but the valuation should be at least 3x to 5x from the current value. This thesis does not highlight the patents surrounding their drugs either which some extend into 2035 and beyond. Perhaps what Wall Street is discounting is the fact that most of the drugs are very niche. However, the currently available drugs have an addressable market, albeit less universal than some, but you should value it in the sense of multiple facets (a 1000 headed snake is the phrase I wanted to use). I believe the company should be valued with specialty drugs in mind which would command a higher PE ratio. At the current day and time of writing, the value should be at least $1.50 to $1.75 ~at a minimum~ with a 12 month price target of $3 to $5+. I will be looking for continued revenue growth in each quarter this year and realization of revenue from Gavreto in Q2 or Q3 this year. The partnerships should not be discounted either and the current share price if it lingers here perhaps may attract a merger or acquisition. I initially began the research thinking that perhaps the drugs were too niche, but given the multiple drugs they are working with, I believe their revenue sources will continue to grow if you do not focus on one particular drug as the main performer. With the most recent inflation report being cooler than expected, I would suspect larger funds and institutions will be circling back to riskier assets.

Hey love Reading Clementine centric fics especially with a focus on her developing a ruthlessness to survive while keeping her humanity. However I've developed an itch I can't seem to find an fic to scratch.
I'm looking for a decently long fic 50k or more but I will settle for less since I'm that desperate!
Where Clem from season 3 or 4 or in between runs into Lee. (I'm sure you can see why I would like this.)
If it doesn't exist then here's some inspiration. Imagine a Lee who spared clementine the pain of shooting him and wakes up a few days after she leaves realising he had succeeded in stopping the bite by losing his arm. He escapes the handcuffs and leaves savannah and over the next 2 years focuses on finding clementine while surviving.
He eventually hears a gunshot in the woods and sneaks over to see what was happening finding christa who had successfully shot one of the 3 men surrounding her. He goes in to help and as he kills the second the third is able to stab christa in the stomach. Overcome by rage Lee smashes his head into a tree "joel style" as he holds a dying christa she points in a random direction and with her final breath hears "clementine" reluctantly he puts her down and rushes forward his mind locked onto the one shred of hope he has to live through the end of the world.
However as he reaches an open area cleaved through by a raging torrent. He spots a man his face being used as a chew toy for a walker while others chase after... CLEMENTINE. He runs cleaving through walkers chasing after his little girl and he goes to yell her name, to draw attention away from her or just to make this feel more real He doesn't know. But as he does he watches as she slips a walker hidden from her view pushing her into the frothing current. And after 2 years of searching Lee finally broke watching the closest person he will ever have to a daughter fall to her death.
Lee drifted for the next 6 years. A dead man walking in a world of the walking dead. Hunt, kill, move on and repeat. The rotting hacked a part and the living swiftly shot. He wondered why he still lived most days, she was only a girl he knew for a few months sure he knew of her for longer but he only spent time with her for such a short blip in the span of his life. But when he though back to her in the barn innocently wondering what the smell was, to her drawings with duck or her smile when he gave her the last apple they had at the motel. It fed the dwindling flame of his person for another day, as it had the day before and the day before that.
He was in another forest now, the trees were different and it was warmer too, but it still dragged him back to his sole nightmare for the last few years. Her falling, and being swallowed whole.
He was a little too lost in his memories so when he felt a snag at his feet he thought nothing of it, that was until he was raised off the grown by a jerk so sudden he dropped hatchet he had taken from the corspe of a near frozen solid walker up north a few years ago.
He looked downwards or rather his new upwards towards his stretched out leg his ankle being slowly crashed by his weight as bore sole load of his person. His right left felt useless and the awkward angle was helping his aging hips. He tried to reach towards his weapon, noticed thinner than when he first found it after years of dulling and sharpening. But his fingers only brushed at the hilt and any extending he attempted only worked the agony of his ankle being constricted within the now clearly noticible homemade rope.
He was about to make another attempt knowing he was a dead man without a tool to dispatch of the dead but he heard it, a voice not to far in the woods.
"Your kidding right? There's no way you can do that, he'll how do you even find out how to do that?" A boy, a young adult at best. It was the kind of voice he would hear making a poorly timed joke in one of his university lectures. He could see through the foliage their figures atleast two though it might be three if the way something seemed to hover by their legs seemed to indicate.
"Well I taken once from my group by this crazy person who thought I was his duaghter or something. He took me to the other side of the city and the man who had been looking after me chased him down, he had killed so many walkers on his way to me that they started ignoring him. He figured out what happened and covered me in guts so we could escape together." A young women's voice, clearly around the same age which was weird, for the past few years now the only survivers he had met were his age maybe a bit younger but they were adults when he'll froze over and the dead migrated up top.
The kids and the teenages just died off as the years went by, as if the world was saying the apocalypse wasn't meant for children, for Clem.
They were drawing closer, Lee didn't know how to even react in this situation. He knew he had to try and talk them into helping him down and sparing him but there was a real possibility this trap was made for people rather than walkers, it was too elaborate for something as simple as refilling the dead. But he wasn't in any sort of position of strength his weapon was just out of reach and he didn't have an form of leverage to do anything but dangle while ensuring his leg didn't awkwardly dangle at an odd angle.
"That guy must have been a badass, I've killed my fair share of walkers don't get me wrong but NEVER enough to be mistaken for one and the fact he did that just to save you means he must have cared about you a lot."
It was only then when the story caught up to him, the boys words previously more akin to a white noise similar to the sounds of nature while he contemplated his options but as his mind registering how familiar it was. But as she turned around a larger trunk of tree and he saw that blue and white cap his world was shattered and made anew.
"Yeah... he was the best. Honestly I never would have made it if it wasn't for... LEE!"
(This was all off the cuff but please tell me what you think cuase I might just give up and wrote one myself xD)

Hey all! So I wanted to give a part two since I'm not high now lol, and also I wanted to clear up some things and add in some other details I left out that I just remembered. If you haven't seen the first part of this post then I suggest going to that, otherwise you'll be very confused. Also, I forgot to add this in my first post but DON'T READ if triggered by certain topics like r*ape, SA, murder, abuse, etc. Another thing is, this post is going to be a lot darker and aside from talking about what happened, I'm also looking for advice on my mental state and how to cope. So please read with caution because I'm going to be talking about what happened with B, but also about my past before him and how what happened is affecting my past trauma.
So, I'm not going to retell the whole story but I am going to be bringing up a lot of parts from it and things I didn't realize until after the incident happened. And some of the things I didn't think of until my friend brought it up. So in my first post, I was talking about how B (26M) was REALLY into Jeffrey Dahmer. Well, in the show we watched with Evan Peters, I noticed a lot of things Jeffrey did as well as already knowing a lot about him before watching it. I noticed that B was doing a lot of things similar to him. Now, I forgot to add in this part last time, but B was really 'straight phobic.' Now I'm a bi transman but I don't hate cis / straight people. In fact, a lot of my friends are cis and in straight relationships. For some reason though, he did, to a weird extent. And even though he was being respectful in the beginning, I'm starting to get a feeling he wasn't actually gay or cared about trans people. Because it seems as though ALL of his former partners were transmen. Which isn't that weird I guess, and he did tell me he tried dating a cis man before but it didn't work. After I met him in person he was telling me that he really liked his trans partners to still have sex vaginally and he liked tits. So, I was kind of confused at that. I think what was really going on was that he isn't gay but wanted to be so he could be like Jeffrey Dahmer. I know it's a bit of a stretch, but you'll see why later. So another thing is, Jeffrey would always ask his potential victims to go back to his place for drinks and to take photos, particularly sexual ones. Jeffrey would then lace the drinks and go on to do weird things to his victims while taking their pictures. And while I was trapped at his place, B kept pushing alcohol on me, A LOT. So much so, that when I kept refusing he started getting angry. However, once I pretended to take a sip it was like his whole attitude changed. He also kept joking it was laced, like EVERYTIME he offered me some. Even though I didn't actually drink any, like I said in the first post, I still got a few drops on my lips and in my mouth. After that I started to get a headache and was a bit dizzy. Also, he had told me before that he liked to take pictures of his partners in sexual poses while they held his guns. Aside from the guns, that's EXACTLY WHAT JEFFREY WOULD DO. For some reason, I didn't piece any of this together until afterwards. I guess I was too shaken up to think clearly. I said this before as well, but when I first entered his house, it was pitch black and he had black out curtains on EVERY WINDOW in his house. His bedroom, living room, kitchen, I mean his whole house made it seem like it was night outside. Another thing that is eerily similar to Jeffrey, is that B told me before I met him in person he always liked dating someone younger. I, at the time, was nineteen and he was twenty five, about to turn twenty six. I honestly don't know what was wrong with me so have not seen the BIG RED FLAGS in the beginning, but he played it off so well I didn't even notice them until after everything happened. And it isn't like me to go for older guys, I usually try to go for someone two years older or younger than me, as I don't like have a huge age gap between me and my partner. Anyway though, Jeffrey always went for younger guys, as well as sometimes KIDS. So, that's another thing similar between them, as well as the fact that B told me he was into little brother play. Where he makes his partners act like a younger brother during sex, etc. He also told me he liked for his partners to SUCK ON BINKIES. BRUHHHH, no thanks bro, I'm good. See, if it was just one of these things that he liked / was into, then I guess it would be normal. Just a guy into a weird ass kink, but all these things combined just did not sit right with me as well as how he was acting. Now, I said in my other post that basically the ENTIRE TIME I was with him, he had a weird ass expression on his face that made me uncomfortable. I wish I could explain better, but it was like constipated / confused look, like Edward from Twilight when he does those weird facial expressions. His brows were always furrowed and he looked like he was uncomfortable / anxious the whole time. He was being super sketchy. His body language was just really off-putting and made me feel weird. And the thing he kept ranting about the most was how Jeffrey Dahmer was misunderstood and just needed someone to be there for him, and then maybe he wouldn't have killed people. The thing that scared me the most was how he said he felt the same way, that he wished he could just have someone not leave him and how he had trust issues after his former partners. Especially the one I mentioned in the last post, about how his ex partner before me snuck out in the middle of the night and got his family to come get him. His family lived across the country, so it had to have been pretty bad for his ex to call his parents and tell them to come get him. Because they drove across multiple different states to come pick him up in the middle of the night so he could sneak away. I have a major feeling that B left out a lot of their fight and why his ex actually left. Not to mention while I was with him, he watched every move I made and wouldn't let me get on my phone without him seeing what I was doing / texting to people. I have a feeling if he thought I was trying to leave him he would've done something bad. Just like Jeffrey. Jeffrey wouldn't always hurt his victims (Not at first anyway) it was always when they said they had to leave that he would get angry and force them to stay. So, idk man, I could've been killed or worse. Also, I know I said I could've been killed or worse, and some of you are probably thinking what's worse than being killed? Well, to me, a lot of things he could've done would have been worse. Especially if he was trying to be like Dahmer, then I could've gotten acid injected into my brain or been r*aped. Which is exactly what I think he was trying to do, with how much alcohol he was trying to push on me. He also kept 'petting' me and touching my thighs while he told me all the ways he'd kill me 'if he was a serial killer.' I genuinely think that something bad would've happened if I didn't have one HELL of an excuse to leave. Because honestly, my mom couldn't have given a better excuse for me to go that also sounded real and not like a lie. Because, like I said before, I had told him before I met him that my mother had health issues and was always in and out of the hospital, so it was perfect that she used that as an excuse. He got really cold and wasn't speaking to me when he heard my phone call and that I had to leave, but I think if I would've tried to leave without that excuse or by giving him an obvious lie, then I might not be here. I'm also super grateful to my best friends who let me come to their place and stay late instead of going home. Me and my best friend, basically my sister, have talked about this a lot since it happened and every time we do, we try to rationalize why someone would act like that, other than being an actual serial killer / r*pist. But we can never think of a reason besides the fact that he simply is what he seems like. A really unhinged person who could've hurt me badly. Also, this was my FIRST TRUE experience in online dating and I honestly think I'm never going to try that again. I've run into so many creeps trying to date online, AND in real life. Most people who aren't trans probably don't realize or know this, but there are a lot of men that want to do really weird and fucked up things to trans people because I guess they think we are some mutant or something, or 'the best of both worlds.' I've run into them a lot, and when I met B, I thought that was over. I thought I had met an actual good person who was educated on trans topics and was respectful of my boundaries and my body. Nope. Now I'm starting to think dating, at least where I live now, is almost impossible and I think I'm going to be alone for awhile. :') Not to mention, I'm now traumatized after what happened with B, and I already had trouble trusting men, and just people in general. Before meeting him I have already been SAed before, multiple times. I guess I'm simply asking for advice on how to move on from something like this. I was trying, and doing kind of ok, moving on from things that had happened before I met B, but now after what happened with him I feel like I'm back sliding and it's making me relive all my past traumas. I basically trust no one, when it comes to sexual things, besides my two best friends I've known since childhood. I tend to over sexualize everything, even things that aren't sexual at all, and get scared around ANYONE, even family members, who I know deep down don't see me like that. I was also abused as a kid and wasn't able to get out of it until I was eighteen, and I've only just turned twenty now, so it wasn't even until two years ago I was still being abused. I feel I've fallen into the dark again and my panic attacks have gotten worse again. I feel depressed and I didn't realize until recently that I'm suicidal again. I didn't realize it until recently, because when I was younger and suicidal, I knew I was. I've tried unaliving myself before so I didn't think about it because I don't feel that way now. It's different this time. Instead of my thoughts directly wanting me to pull out a gun and, ya know, this time it's more subtle and more of a subconscious action. Like closing my eyes for a few seconds while driving. Or intrusive thoughts about ramming head first into the car in the other lane. Or going hiking and thinking of what it would feel like to step off the cliff. I'm honestly just tired. I feel like every person I meet has some kind of ulterior motive, whatever it is. I'm working at a really nice job but it seems like every time I save up money and am doing good for my future, I have to use it on something unexpected that pops into my life. I'm living with my grandparents for now because they said they weren't going to charge me rent, and I'm super grateful for that, but even still I can't keep money and I kind of just don't see my future anymore. Both my parents were drug addicts, my mother to pain pills then xans after that, my father was mainly an alcoholic but also did meth, pills, and other things. It doesn't help because when I was younger, around my early teen years (13-16) I started smoking cigs when I was 12, then I started smoking weed, which I still do, but then it got worse and I've tried xans, snorting pills I didn't even know what they were, drinking, and I've even done shrooms and LSD. I've also had some really bad trips on LSD that made my severe panic disorder worse and after that I now disassociate a lot too and have trouble knowing if I'm in reality while having a panic attack. And after what happened with B, his house and the smell (Cigs and booze) just reminded me what it was like living with my parents in that crack house looking trailer. It's like my brain won't let me let go of the past and move on. It's like I'm constantly stuck there still. And aside from dating, it's also super hard to meet people as friends where I live. I love my two best friends, one of which has been with me since we were basically fetuses and her parents and mine were friends, so her parents were also abusive drug addicts. It's nice to have someone so close and how we can relate to what we went through. We joke that we were traumatized by our parents, but also by each other's parents as well lol. Even though I'm grateful for them, you never know what's going to happen in the future and I don't want to be solely dependent on them and be able to make new friends, but I just can't. I feel so alone, and my friend I grew up with has been moved out a lot longer than me and has had time to heal, and I don't wanna keep dumping my mental problems on her because it's unfair to her. I feel like I'm just bringing her back to our past with me. When I moved out, I completely cut ties with my father, I don't even like calling him that, as he was the first person to SA me and he is, in general, and evil person. I try to think that evil people don't exist, but then I think of him and I realize they do. My mom though, is a good person when she isn't on anything. Recently though, I blocked her and haven't talked to her in over a month because she OD again on xans and amphetamines. I kind of realized recently that she is almost as bad as my father, even though I never wanted to admit that to myself. Because when I was younger, I admitted to her that he had SAed me and she kept pressuring me to tell her what happened, like, IN DETAIL. I told her no because I didn't want to relive it and think about it, even now I have a lot of repressed memories. And because I wouldn't tell her EXACTLY what happened, she doesn't believe. I think she does, deep down, but she doesn't want it to be real. And after her OD last month, she tried telling me she didn't and that it was just her BLOOD PRESSURE. LIKE OH MY GOD BITCH, WHY DO YOU LIE? She must think I'm stupid or something. Before I blocked her, I cussed her out over text and said something like "Who do you think was the first person at the hospital? Not grandma, not your husband, ME. I've always been there for you first. Who do you think told me you had OD? The doctors when I first got there!" And she still denies it, even though when me and my friend got the hospital she was lying there naked (they had to cut her clothes off to save her) with a breathing tube stuck down her throat. I've tried helping her my whole life but apparently she doesn't want help. So now I've gotten tired of her BS and I blocked her and now my grandma is pressuring me to talking to her, luckily though, my grandpa went through something similar as a kid and understands how it is so he isn't guilt tripping me into talking with her. I'm just tired of having to put into traumatic situations. My mental health just keeps getting worse. Somehow, trauma always finds me and nowadays, it seems my only friends are my demons. It used to not be like this, but now even when I'm with my two closest friends, I still feel lonely. Like they are reminding me that when I leave my friends, I'm alone again. Anyway, I know this probably isn't the right subreddit for this, but I kind of just started ranting, sorry for that.
Also, to clear some things up, no I don't use drugs, not anymore. I've never really been an addict at all in my life, somehow. I just did drugs because I wanted to escape when I was younger, and thankfully I never got addicted to any of them. Not like you can get addicted to LSD or shrooms anyway. The only thing I've got addicted to was cigarettes, which rn, is the least of my concerns. And as for weed, I used to be a major stoner but it started making my panic attacks worse so I stopped for a few years, cold turkey, and only recently started smoking it again. So, I'm not worried about weed and if anything, it's been helping now. Especially since I don't smoke it nearly as much as I used to. So, for those worried about me being or getting on drugs, don't worry I'm fine. I have made a clear boundary for myself to never do anything besides smoking my cigs and weed. Cause I've seen how drugs affect my parents and others I've known and I've sworn to myself that I won't become them. It also sucks though because I see psychedelics as something that can help a lot of people with trauma, and the first shrooms trip I ever did changed my life for the better. Now though, after my bad LSD trip, I don't know if I can every do them again. Maybe one day, but not for the foreseeable furture. Again, sorry for going on a rant. I'll probably post this to another subreddit and see if anyone can help. I'm not looking for therapy as I don't have the money or health insurance. Just looking for someone who can relate that has been able to move past similar things and find happiness. If you've read this far, thank you. Like seriously, from the bottom of my heart. It means a lot to me that someone would read about another person's problems and life experience. I hope whoever is reading this is having a great day / night wherever you are, and are living your best life. And for those reading that are going through a similar situation right now and can't get out, I promise you aren't alone. I haven't really gotten better, so I can't say things get better, but I can say it DOES get easier. All I can say is, you aren't alone in it. There are others, like me, who know your pain. Keep living, it'll be worth it. Even though I'm not doing my best and my mental problems are still with me, that doesn't mean it's all been bad. I've made a lot of amazing memories after I moved out. Keep going.

You guys know what an alpine coaster is? They are like a small roller coaster you find in the mountains. They are also called summer toboggans or mountain coasters and I think there’s some long German compound word they are called in parts of Europe. They are like a roller coaster, but with much smaller one or two person sleds you just sit on instead of multi-person cars you ride in, and instead of being built with like a scaffolding or a framework the tracks are just on the ground, using the elevation of the mountain. Basically it’s a coaster track on the side of a mountain where you ride a sled down.
They are pretty fun. Or at least I used to think so. They are more “personal” than roller coasters and although you get nowhere near the speed on them that you do on a good traditional roller coaster and they can’t do corkscrews or loops or anything like that the openness and simplicity of the ride gives an impression of a much greater speed. You’re just sitting there with nothing but a little plastic sled and the track between you and the ground as it goes zooming by. It’s like the difference between how fast a go-cart feels compared to how fast a sports car feels. You know the sports car goes faster but the open, simpleness of a go-cart feels a different kind of fast. There’s plenty of POV Youtube videos if you want to get the basic idea of what they are.
I used to love alpine coasters. Used to.
My family used to go to Gatlinburg and Pigeon Forge and up and down the Smokey Mountains for vacations when I was a kid and they are common in that area and I’d always rode them every chance I got.
But as with so many things after I grew up and went to college they just became part of my childhood that slipped away. They aren’t exactly common once you get away from the mountains.
Until one cool spring afternoon in 2004. I was in my final year at college and I was driving back to campus in Tennessee after a short visit to my folks in North Carolina. It was only like a 4 or 5 hour drive via the most efficient route and I had no need to be back at campus early so instead of taking the freeway all the way I got off and took part of my trip through the mountains. The scenery was nicer and I admit I liked pushing my Camaro just a little faster than I should through the twisty mountain roads.
Just after lunchtime happened upon one of those little by-the-highway tourist towns deep somewhere in the Smoky Mountains near the Carolina/Tennessee border. Nothing fancy, a gas station/truck stop, a diner, a couple of places selling tourist merch nestled deep in the mountains. I pulled into the gas station. My tank was getting low and I needed to stretch my legs, maybe grab something to eat. It was still early and I only had another couple of hours. I could kill an hour or so and still make it back to campus at a decent hour.
I pulled into the gas station and was filling my tank when I happened to glance across the road and… well I’ll be damned. There it was. “The Blue Ridge Alpine Coaster.” Nestled on the side of the mountain was a building, a mockup of a red barn, where a single railed track that led up into the mountains, where it soon got lost in the greenery. Wooden hand painted standees of cartoon character bears dressed in stereotypical “Hillbilly” getup stood around, some of them holding signs showing the ride hours and ticket costs and other info. I had to admit, as silly as it was, it made me smile.I finished pumping my gas and, well, nostalgia is a helluva thing. I decided then and there I could waste a little time riding an Alpine Coaster again after all these years before getting back on the road.
I parked my car in a corner of the truck stop's parking lot, put my phone in the center console, this being the days before smart phones when people didn’t keep their phones with them 24/7 and I didn’t want my old Nokia brick phone to fall out during the ride, locked my car and walked across the mountain highway to the Alpine Coaster building.
Getting closer, the place was less inviting. The half hearted attempt at a whimsical faux-Americana kitsch was far less effective when it brushed up against the actual decaying, run down wooden building. Hell calling it a building was generous. It was a wood frame holding up a long roof that covered the area where you got on the sleds. The wood boards creaked under my footsteps.
The only real enclosed structure was a shack that held, what I assumed, was a ticket booth. A door on the side had both a single occupancy bathroom with an out of order sign on it. An old Pepsi machine buzzed and glowed next to it.
Still the place looked alive. Ahead of me a bored looking attendant was helping a mother and her young son into one of the sleds while in a bored monotone repeating the safety brief. A few people were waiting in line at the ticket booth. Up in the mountains the playful shouts of people on the ride echoed down. Fond memories of my own childhood rides flooded my mind.10 minutes and 15 dollars later I was settling into the hard plastic seat of a bright red sled sat atop a simple aluminum rail.
I couldn’t help but grin as the sled slowly climbed the track up the mountains, making click-clack ratcheting sounds that hit my nostalgia centers hard. I felt good. The air was cool and crisp and smelled of pine.Higher and higher in the mountains we went. I don’t know if this is my mind trying to make sense of it after the fact but when I remember these moments, the last good moments, I sometimes think I remember a very slight, very subtle pit of fear in my stomach. I honestly don’t know if I felt it at the time or not or it’s just how my mind tries to make sense of it looking back at.
But either way mostly I was enjoying myself. I smiled. I was a kid again. I could hear riders in front of me let out that initial yell of terrified glee you get at the first drop of any good ride.
It peaked. I glanced around. I could see for miles, rolling hills and mountains. I the sled tipped over and zoomed down the mountain and I let out the same happy yell I heard from the other passengers.The ride zoomed down the mountain, catching speed. The mountain forest floor zoomed past, only a few feet under me. Trees zoomed past. I gave out a happy whoop as the ride banked hard around a curve and then looped back under itself.Another dip, another curve. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the G-forces pulling me every which way.
There was no one exact single moment where things started to go “wrong.” The ride kept going. And going. At this point the first creeping thought entered my head.
The ride… was still going.
It just started to hit me… this ride was going on for a really long time. I had taken a dozen rides on various coasters of this type before that day and they topped out at about 5 minutes or so, and that was the long ones. Longer than a traditional roller coaster but not that long. This one had been going on for what felt like 10, maybe even 15 minutes.
I looked back over my shoulder and could only see trees, moving too fast to really get a bearing on where I was at in relation to anything.
I wasn't exactly really worried yet. Okay so I had found a particularly long alpine coaster. At the time I wasn’t 100% wasn't sure they didn’t exist or anything like that. I was a little… unnerved but nothing was happening that was impossible. Yet.
I was trying to talk myself back into just enjoying the ride and stop overthinking it, and halfway succeeded, when out of nowhere I suddenly banked hard, the track jutting out almost over a sheer cliffside. I gripped the sled more tightly as I was whipped around. The ride then dipped hard and picked up speed, barreling down the side of the mountain.
I was pushed back against the seat by the force of the drop. Jesus I didn’t remember them being this rough. I was feeling slightly nauseous. And where had this elevation drop come from I wondered? I was still in the foothills and I didn’t remember seeing anything but gentle rolling hills and light drops from looking at the ride’s route earlier. How the ride had managed such a long, steep drop in this area I didn’t know. . For the first time I hoped that the ride would be over soon. I had no idea then how much I would want that same hope to be true so much more as time went on.
With a whiplash motion I was whipped forward and then back as the ride leveled out on flat ground again, but by this point I was going fast, too fast. My neck hurt from the mild whiplash and I felt sour in my throat and for a moment the contents of my stomach threatened to come back up. For the first, but hardly the last time the ride felt unsafe. Alpine Coasters are tame affairs, much slower and gentler than full on roller coasters but this thing was throwing me around like no thrill ride I had ever been on.
I looked around. I mean I wasn’t that deep into the woods. I should have been able to see a glimpse of something; the highway, the gas station, the tourist shops, the Alpine Coaster office, something, anything. But nothing. Just trees.
I forced back some panic for the first time. I closed my eyes and counted to ten. The ride zoomed along. I counted to 60. I counted to 60 again. And again. Okay this was getting uncomfortably harder and harder to explain.
Suddenly I noticed that up ahead the track seemed to just end, for one brief, terrible moment I thought the track just ended but I was wrong. Almost without warning the track dipped in an almost vertical drop. I almost screamed as I plummeted for 20, maybe 30 seconds before flattening out again.
By this point the voice in my head that was telling me something was wrong was louder and I could no longer tell myself it was wrong. This ride could not have been this long. I tried to make sense of it, wondering if somehow I had gotten diverted onto some kind of maintenance track or, hell for one brief irrational moment even entertaining the idea that I had wound up on an actual train track somehow. But that was absurd. The rail below me was not a train track, it was still just the simple, aluminum rail of an alpine coaster and there had been no diversions or junctions in the track. I was still on the ride, as insane as that was starting to feel. Had the ride somehow looped? Again after having the thought I immediately dismissed it as crazy. There’s no way I could have missed the ride building where I got on. And what kind of ride loops over and over?
The sled zoomed through the forest, oddly never seeming to lose speed despite the relatively flat grade of the track. I cursed myself for leaving my phone in the car and not wearing a watch. I don’t know exactly how long I had been on the ride at that point but it felt like I had been on the ride for a half hour, maybe more. But time is a funny thing when you’re in a situation you’ve never been in. Could have been more, could have been less, at that point.
My pride finally failed me. I started to scream for help. I screamed out that the ride was broken, to stop it, that I needed help. I did that for about ten minutes or so I think. The ride kept going. Mostly flat, level track with occasional mild dips and turns. But the simple length of the ride grew more and more unnerving and unexplainable.
I thought about just bailing out. But the ride, impossibly, was still not slowing down and chunks of mountain rock and thick tree trunks were all around me. Bailing out without risking smashing into a rock or a tree seemed impossible.
The ride kept going.
Up ahead the forest was clearing out some, I could see the forest brightening, more sunlight making it through the canopy.
I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.
The trees stopped and I had just enough time to take in a flat, open area of rock maybe 40, 50 yards at most before another sheer cliff. The tracks twisted and turned and then shot straight down. But that wasn’t the worst of it. For a moment, a very short moment, I had a clear view for miles and the landscape was, to be blunt, totally impossible. Any possibility that I had just stumbled on some incredibly long ride was blasted out of my head. Barren, volcanic looking rock stretched for miles. Jagged, black rocky outcroppings as far as the eye could see. I was in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. They don’t look like that.
I had a few moments for the terror of that view to settle in before the cart plunged into another horrifying drop. I gripped the handles of the cheap plastic sled until my knuckles turned white. The drop felt completely vertical, like I was falling at terminal velocity. I screamed. My stomach dropped and turned. I imagined the sled coming away from the track and me just plummeting screaming to my death on the rocks below. But somehow the ride still functioned. I closed my eyes tightly and just waited for whatever was going to happen. Eventually after several what felt like a full minute of steep plunging the track again leveled out, and I opened my eyes to see myself moving at breakneck speed over that black, rocky landscape.
Now that I was moving on a more or less flat horizontal track again I took a few deep breaths. I looked over the edge of the track. Nothing but that black, jagged rock, almost looking like obsidian, zooming past. I had no idea how fast the sled was moving now. Fast. Faster than a gravity powered sled should be moving. And the track was higher off the ground now. Alpine slides usually stick pretty close to the ground, but I was 20 feet or so in the air, the track suspended in the air, a simple metal tube tower like a power pylon every few yards.
Without any immediate threat and the sled moving fast but steadily and level I was able to think about my situation again, for all the good that did me. Ahead of me the track just continued to the horizon, nothing but the same rocky landscape as far as I could see. I craned my neck to look back over my shoulder and looked back behind me and it looked the same. Even the mountains were but distant specs on the horizon behind me.
This was insane. There’s not a giant seemingly endless field of black jagged rock in the goddamn Smoky Mountains. There’s no cliff faces tall and steep enough for a multi-minute vertical drop. And alpine coasters were small affairs, not major engineering projects that span miles with pylons and vertical tracks. It made no sense.
Sadly it wasn’t going to start making any more sense anytime soon.
The ride kept going.
I was on this rocky landscape for several hours. I feel comfortable saying this because I could actually notice the sun getting lower in the sky. And the sled wasn’t slowing down despite the grade of the track being flat. I was getting cramped from sitting and stretched my legs and twisted my back as best I could. Didn’t do much help. My eyes were starting to get irritated from the constant wind in them. Worst of all it was starting to get chilly. I only had on a light jacket, a windbreaker, just something to keep the breeze off me, no real insulation. I was cold, my joints were stiff, I was hungry and thirsty. My eyes watered and my throat was so dry it was sore.
But none of that was as bad as just how little sense this all made. There’s nothing like this place anywhere near the Smoky Mountains. This was like some volcanic rock landscape. The more I thought about it the less sense it made.
The ride kept going.
My mind didn’t even try to process this. Whatever I was experiencing simply couldn’t be possible. I was crazy. I was dreaming. The CIA had kidnapped me and dosed me with some new version of LSD and I was in a straightjacket in a padded room at Area 51.
The sled kept zooming along as the sky turned to dusk. Soon the bridge disappeared from my view and I continued on along the endless, rocky, featureless landscape.
I sat back against the sled, mentally and physically numb. I was exhausted. I was thirsty. I was cramping up. I was hungry. I had to pee. I held it for as long as I could, then had no choice but just wet myself. I cried until I had no more tears left. Then I just sat there.
The ride kept going.
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon my throat felt like sandpaper. I dug around in my jacket pockets hoping to find a stick of gum or piece of candy. Nothing. I checked again, having nothing else to do. Under a crumpled store receipt in the inner pocket of my jacket was a single old, forgotten cough drop. I unwrapped it from the paper and popped it in my mouth. Saliva flooded back into my mouth and I was overwhelmed by the methanol and medicine taste. It was something at least, although I knew it would be a brief and temporary fix at best.
I felt my eyes get heavy. It was getting colder. That mountain cold. That deep cold the mountains have even into the early spring when the sun goes down. That kind that just pulls the heat right out of you. I shivered. A terrible, horrible certainty came to me. I would ride until I passed out from exhaustion or the hypothermia set in. My body would tumble off the sled to fall and skip across the rocky ground like a stone skipping across a lake, my bones breaking as I tumbled until my body finally came to a stop. If I was lucky I would be killed and not have to lie for days, broken and bruised, on the ground until death took me.
The ride kept going. The ride kept going. The fucking ride kept going.
“Fuck you” I said to the ride, my voice a horse whisper. I pulled my jacket closer around me, for all the good it did. The cold wind was slowly but surely pulling my body heat away. My shivering got worse, crossing the line from a simple normal shiver into those deep, almost violent full body ones.. I wasn’t anything you could call an experienced outdoorsman, but I knew enough to know that wasn’t a good sign.
It was getting dark. There was a full moon at least so I wasn’t totally in the dark.
About then I noticed something. The landscape, what little I could see in the fading light, was changing. It was smoothing out, becoming less rocky and craggy. Up ahead an odd, shimmering light was starting to appear on the ground.
I was over it before I even realized what it was. The tracks were going over a smooth surface.
Water. It was a lake. The odd lights I had seen were the moon, reflected in ripples on the lake.
Within minutes I was out of the view of the land. After the nearly endless rocky landscape and everything else I had seen, it scared me how little I was shocked. I didn’t like how mentally numb I was getting. I leaned over. There was enough moonlight to see the water, 15 or 20 feet below the track. The pylons holding up the track went into the water, the light wasn’t good enough to even make a guess at how far they went down or how deep the water was.I leaned back in the sled. My eyes were red and bloodshot from the constant wind. I closed them. This was a mistake.I jerked awake. I don’t know if I dozed off for a split second or an hour. My weight had shifted and I caught myself as my center of gravity was in danger of sending me off the sled and into the water.
I screamed in anger. A deep primal scream. I hurt so bad. My joints felt like they were full of glass. My limbs were full of pins and needles. I glanced over at the water. For the first time on the very edges of my brain a tiny voice started to speak up, telling me that I could be all over if I just jumped. I shut the voice up, but it scared me still.
I sat there as the ride went on. It felt like hours. Eventually the lake ended in a rocky shore line. The damned ride. There was no safe place to bail out. If the ride slowed down, it was high in the air, if it moved toward the ground it sped up. Sharp rocks, big trees, nothing you could safely bail out into.
I kept having to force myself awake. I kept dozing off. Once I felt myself falling asleep and drove a vicious uppercut into my own nose to stave it off.
I seriously started to think about how much longer I could hang on. The voice came back again. This time I didn’t shut it up. I wasn’t admitting it to myself yet, but I was starting to think about the best way to land that would end it quickly if I needed to.
Something was ahead. The track seemed to dip into the ground. I was too tired, too beaten to even get scared. I was just resigned to whatever happened at this point.
With little warning the track took my sled into a tunnel in the ground. Everything went completely pitch black. After several moments even the dim moonlight was gone.
This was the worst part. The creepy forest, the immense rocky landscape, the eerie lake… those were bad. But this was just nothing. Nothing to look at, nothing to hear, nothing for reference or sense of where I was going. The walls of the tunnel felt like they were inches from me in every direction. The air felt thick, like there wasn’t enough oxygen.
With every moment I was in that tunnel I lost a little more hope. After a long, long time I made a decision. When I got out of this tunnel, I would jump. I didn’t care anymore. Hopefully there would be a spot where I could be certain the fall would instantly kill me. I was done. The ride had beaten me. I sat there, waiting for a chance to end this on my terms. That was all I had left.
Eventually up ahead, a tiny speck of light appeared. I gathered my strength, ready to end it. I sat up, getting my legs under me so I could jump as soon as we were clear. The sled burst out of the tunnel. The dim light of the full moon was enough to be momentarily blinding after the pitch black of the tunnel.. I gave my eyes a moment to adjust.
I was back in a normal looking Appalachian forest. Rolling hills, green trees. The air smelled of pine again. I heard an owl hoot off somewhere.
Slowly I lowered myself back into a setting position, in shock. At first I refused to believe it but the ride was slowing down. I held still, making sure my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me, but no, the cheap plastic sled that had been my world for what felt like an eternity was slowing down.
Up ahead, a structure was visible, peeking out from among the trees in the dim lighting as the sled moved down the track.
It was the Alpine Slide building. The crappy fake red barn where I had boarded this cursed ride so long ago. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, sure it was either my mind or the cursed ride playing tricks with me. But the building stayed there.
It grew closer and closer. The track leveled completely out. The sled slowed down more. Before I had the time to really come to terms with it I arrived back at the building.
The sled slowed to a stop, gently pumping against another sled parked on the track. I sat there for a few moments, gasping in great big gulping fear breaths, trying to assure myself the ride didn’t have one last trick of its sleeve.
I looked around. The place was empty, deserted. The overhead lights were still on and the old Pepsi machine still glowed and buzzed, but the ticket booth was dark and empty, a metal gate pulled down over the ticket window.
Suddenly it hit me that I was free and I practically leapt out of the sled and onto the platform. I immediately collapsed. My legs were jelly and my head was spinning. I tried to stand up again and doubled over, dry heaving. Have you ever been out on a boat for a day and have that weird reverse motion sickness when you’re back on solid land? It was like that times a hundred. My inner ear was literally pounding, all the motion had really done a number on it.
I laid there for a few moments and eventually forced myself to stand up on my two wobbling legs. I looked around, a horrible certainty creeping into my mind that there would be no exit, no way off the platform but to my relief an exit turnstyle, one of those full height ones, was set into the fence that surrounded the ride property.
I went through it and found myself back on the main road. The truckstop was still there, still open but far less busy. My car sat in the same corner of the parking lot I had left it.
I allowed myself one look back, just one quick one. The metal skeleton of the Alpine Slide track sat there, dark and quiet but otherwise normal.
I stumbled-ran back to my car, dug the keys out of my pocket, and collapsed inside. When the door shut I let out a primal scream, the tons of fear and confusion and anger all fusing into a single, raw emotion. I screamed again and again.
After a few moments I felt like I was emotionally at least back to a place where I could act, although I wasn’t sure yet what to do next. Not really knowing what to do I cranked the car. The A/C had been on low when I shut off the car and it came roaring back to life and cold air blowing on me almost sent me back into a full on panic attack. I fumbled with the climate controls until the air stopped blowing directly on me, then calmed down enough to turn the heat on, helping to get the chill out of my bones. There was a half full bottle of water in the center console cup holder and I grabbed it and chugged it. Nothing ever tasted as good before or sense as that few ounces of water.
That was when I noticed the clock on the radio head unit. It was 4:17 in the morning. It had been about one, one thirty or so in the afternoon when I got on the accursed ride.
Over 15 hours. I had been on the goddamn ride for over 15 hours. Over half a day.
I just sat there. Warming up. Calming down. I was exhausted. I was dehydrated. I can’t even describe how my head felt. I probably had at least a minor case of hypothermia. I thought about going into the gas station and asking for help but what would I even say, and more than anything I just wanted to get away from this place. And I just wanted to get away. I wanted to be nowhere near that damn ride.
I put the Camaro in gear and pulled into the street and in panic I immediately slammed on the brakes. I was lucky there was no traffic on the road at that moment. The feeling of accelerating to just normal surface street speeds made me sick to my stomach. I gathered myself and very slowly accelerated the car I usually treated with a very heavy foot up to 30 miles an hour. Every time I tried to accelerate at a pace faster than “Old Lady Going to Church, Uphill” I would have a panic attack. I was okay once I was up to speed, but accelerating freaked me out after being on that ride.
I drove about 30 minutes, putting some arbitrary amount of distance between myself and the coaster. Eventually I made it back to where the twisty mountain road met back up with a major road that would eventually meet back up with the highway. After a few more minutes of driving I saw the onramp for the highway. There was one of those big truckstop travel plazas and pulled in, parking right up at the door. I smelled like pee and I can only imagine how I looked, but I didn’t care.
I kept a couple of emergency 20s in the back of my wallet and spent it on the biggest bottle of water the store had, an overpriced bottle of eye drops, and a huge travel mug of coffee. The clerk looked at me as if he was expecting me to either drop dead or rob him the entire time.
Back in my car I downed the coffee. I put a few eye drops in each of my eyes and sat there as the caffeine took effect until I felt like I could make it back to my apartment. The sun was just coming up when I finally pulled out of the truck stop and got on the freeway. I slowly, very slowly, accelerated up to highway speed, put the Camaro in cruise control, and let the miles start to drift away. I turned on the radio, I needed to hear human voices. Every time my mind went back to what had just happened I turned the radio up louder, eventually drowning it out with painful levels of rock music. I wasn’t ready to think about it yet. Yes looking back I know I was just in denial. I finally made it back to the crappy little apartment I had off campus, a little two story walk up studio. I let myself in and collapsed on the cheap couch. I was asleep before I even had the time to decide whether or not to do anything else. I woke up later that afternoon. I took a shower and ate a meal and didn’t think about the ride. I washed the pee stained filthy clothes I had been wearing and didn’t think about the ride. I went back to class and didn’t think about the ride. Every time I thought about the ride I forced it out of my head. I’m sure this wasn’t the most mentally healthy thing to do but what can you say?
I didn’t forget about it, don’t be silly. This isn’t the kind of thing you forget. One day while looking up something else in the university’s library my curiosity got the better of me and I looked up the Alpine Slide. No website but a few Google Map and Yelp mentions. None of them mentioned anything weird, certainly nothing even remotely like what I experienced. Near as I can tell it closed sometimes in the winter of 2012.
Life went on. I mean, that’s what it does. The next day was a little better. And the day after that a little better. And the day after that a little better still. I met a nice girl. Graduated. Got married. Got a nice house in the suburbs. Got a dog. Had a daughter. Spent a lot of time happy and not thinking about being trapped on an endless alpine coaster.And that was my life for many, many years after that.
Until a few weeks back when as a very different person I found myself driving a boring and safe mid sized family SUV through those same mountains. My wife Carol, 5 months pregnant, sat in the passenger seat, our 6 year old daughter Emily in a booster seat in the back, and Max our mixed breed mutt next to her. It had been a nice pleasant trip, driving back from visiting her folks.
I hadn’t thought about that fucking ride in so long I barely registered that I was in the same general area until it was too late. Suddenly I realized that little mountain tourist trap town was only a few minutes down the road. I swallowed hard and gripped the steering wheel hard. Carol was looking out the window at the scenery and Emily was deep into some kid’s Youtube video on an iPad. I forced myself to keep my breath steady as we rounded the corner.The town was still there, sorta. Time had not been kind to it. The gas station was still there, at some point it had been bought out by Shell. The tourist trap shops were still there. One of them was now a vape shop. The diner was closed, the building looking like it sat unused for a long time.
But of course that’s not what I cared about. A looked over at the site where the Alpine Coaster once stood. It was gone. The kitschy fake barn was gone. The site was just a bare concrete slab with a chainlink fence around it. Faded “no trespassing” and “for sale” signs hung off the fence. A pile of old, decaying lumber that might have once long ago been part of the structure covered part of the old lot. No sign of the track remained outside of some old concrete support posts dotting the side of the mountain.
I exhaled out a breath I hadn’t even realized I had been holding in. Soon the little town disappeared in my rear view mirror.
About a half hour later we stopped for gas. I pulled up to a gas pump across from a massive motorhome. Max stuck his head out the window and started barking at a little white dog, a toy breed of some kind, in the window of the motorhome. Carol and Emily immediately headed into the store to restock on snacks while I fueled up.
I stood there, a half smile on my lips as Max barked and wagged his tail in an attempt to attract the attention of the other dog while I filled up the tank, said dog doing an admirable job of ignoring him.
Right about the time I finished fueling up and cleaning the bugs off the windshield Carol returned from inside the store, Emily in tow, arms filled with two full sized bags of Salt and Vinegar Potato Chips and what looked to be a half dozen individually wrapped pickles.
I raised an eyebrow at the collection of food but knew better than to question a pregnant woman's snack choices.
“Should we take Max for a quick walk?” Carol asked. The travel plaza had a nice little gated dog walking area off to the side.
“Yeah probably not a bad idea, he’s been cooped up in the car for a few hours.” I said. Max, upon hearing his name and the word “walk” , forgot about the other dog and upgraded from wagging his tail to wagging his entire body while making whining sounds and staring right at me.
About this time I became half aware that the big motor home next to us was pulling away. I didn’t think much of it, outside of doing a quick automatic mental check to make sure Emily was well clear of the moving vehicle, but she was safely between me and our SUV, well out of the way.
But that was when Emily looked behind me and cheerfully yelled “Daddy look a roller coaster! Can I ride the coaster?”
It’s cliche as fuck I know but my blood went cold.
I turned around slowly, certain in my knowledge that terrible old decrepit Alpine Coaster would be there, having just popped into existence to trap me again.
That.. is not what I saw. Sure enough there was a coaster there, one I hadn’t noticed earlier because it had mostly been blocked by the motor home, but there it was. It was even an Alpine Coaster.
But it was not the same coaster I had encountered those years ago. That was immediately obvious. It was a small but modern and newish looking setup with neon lights and a bunch of people. There was an actual building where you bought tickets and a little snack stand.
“Daddy! Can we go on the coaster!” Emily asked again.
My mouth made motions but no words came out. I glanced over at Carol, hoping she’d say we didn’t have time but to my horror she smiled and said “You know what? That does sound like fun. Daddy will take you while I take Max for a walk.”
My mind raced, trying to think of a way to get out of it. But Emily was already dragging me across the parking lot to the entrance.
I patted my pocket, making sure my phone was in it. Every fiber of my being was screaming to run away. I slept walked through the line and the ticket booth while Emily bounced happily.
We got into a two seat plastic sled. This one was actually a lot nicer than the one my mind wouldn’t stop thinking about. It had two nice cushioned seats, big grab handles, even a nice rollbar.
The sled started up the track. I fought back the panic. I swerved my head around, keeping the building in my view. I was terrified of losing sight of it. We made it to the top and Emily did a happy squeal as we started down the side of the mountain.
My heart raced. Any second, any second my mind told me we’d lose sight of the building and then the ride would never end. The ride sped down the mountain. My mind tortured me with thoughts of not only going through it again, but seeing Emily go through it. The ride went around a big, banking turn. Emily kept shouting happily. How long before Carol reported us missing I wondered? Could I keep Emily calm? What if it lasted even longer this time? What if this time it never ended?
And then we were back at the start of the ride. The same attendant who had helped us into the sled was helping Emily out. I stepped out. The attendant gave me a brief look but said nothing. I guess I looked a little wild eyed.
I was fine. Emily was fine. It had been a perfectly normal, fun ride.
“That was fun Daddy! Thank you!” Emily said. I forced a smile back. “It was fun.” I responded, hoping like I sounded like I meant it.
I took Emily’s hand and we walked back to the car. Max saw us coming and barked happily. Carol looked up from the pint of Ben and Jerry’s she had somehow acquired and added to her snack collection while we were gone and smiled at us.
“Did you have fun?” she asked.
“It was so fun Mommy!” Emily said.
Carol smiled down at her, but then looked at me and frowned. “Are you okay?” Carol could read my face a lot better than the attendant could. “You’re pale.”
I smiled and this time the smile felt real. “Ya know what. Yeah, I think I am okay.”
Carol looked a little puzzled, but didn’t press it. We loaded Emily back in her booster seat, stopped Max from trying desperately to eat half a discarded gas station hot dog off the ground and got him back in the car. Carol and her small collection of snack food took her place in the passenger seat and I got in the driver's seat.I smiled. I cranked the car. I put it in gear. I pulled out of the gas station and back on the road, this time accelerating just a little faster than I had in years.

Before you post a question to this subreddit, please read the following points. I know, it's a lot to read, but 99% of you will get answers to your questions here. These points contain verified, accurate FACTS as verified through the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and World Health Organization (WHO).
1. Is this a bat bite?
Bat bites cannot be identified from a photo. No one, not even a doctor or a bat biologist, can identify a bat bite from a photo. If you think you might have bat bite, ask yourself: Have you seen a bat in your home? Did you sleep outdoors where a bat might have bitten you? Did you pick up a bat in your hand? If you answer no, it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY you were bitten by a bat. Again, bat bites cannot be identified from a photo.
2. Can I get rabies from interacting with an animal? Can I get rabies from touching something? What about if a drop of liquid falls on me? Can I get rabies from contaminated food or water? Can I get rabies from a person?
No. YOU CAN ONLY GET RABIES VIA DIRECT CONTACT WITH A RABID ANIMAL. This means being bitten or scratched by a rabid animal. Rabies is transmitted via the saliva of an infected animal in the late stages of the disease, when the virus is being shed in the saliva by the host animal. The rabies virus dies almost immediately once it’s outside the body. You can’t get rabies from touching something a rabid animal touched. You can’t get rabies from your pet meeting a rabid animal and then bringing it home to you. You can’t get rabies from touching roadkill. You can’t get rabies from something falling on you. You can’t get rabies from touching or kissing someone who has been vaccinated. You can’t get rabies from touching something wet. You can’t get rabies from touching any surface whatsoever, even if you have a cut on your body or you touch your eye/nose/mouth afterwards. Getting rabies from touching an animal and then touching your eye/nose/mouth is theoretically possible, but this has never happened to anyone in recorded history.
3. I found a suspicious mark on my body but I didn’t find a bat in my house. Did a bat sneak into my house and bite me without me noticing, and then sneak back out?
Bats are NOT invisible or ninjas. If you wake up in the morning with a mark on your body, it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY to be a bat bite unless you find a bat in your house. If a bat gets in your house, you will see it. They are not good at finding their way out on their own. It’s very unlikely that a sober, alert, adult human would not notice being bitten by a bat. Finding little marks on your body is not unusual and that is no reason to assume an invisible bat attacked you.
4. I saw a bat near me. Or I heard a bat. Or I saw something that might have been a bat, but it didn’t touch me. Did a bat bite me without me noticing?
Bats cannot fly past you and bite you in mid-flight. That is physically impossible. A bat must LAND on you, hold on to you with their tiny fingers, and then bite you. After biting you, they must then push off of you to take flight again. Bats can be small, but they're not invisible or imperceptible. If you would notice a big bug landing on you and biting you, then you would notice a bat doing it too. If a bat makes physical contact with you, there is a possibility that it may have scratched you, and rabies shots are recommended unless you are in a country free of bat rabies. If you find a bat in your house and you are not in a country free of bat rabies, you should catch it and submit it for rabies testing; if you can’t do that, you should get rabies shots; if you have small children, they should get rabies shots.
5. An animal touched me, licked me, or sneezed on me. Could I get rabies from this?
You cannot get rabies from a wound that doesn’t break the skin. Rabies can only get into your body through an opening in your body: a scratch or bite. If you are bitten or scratched by an animal, you should wash the area with soap and water for 5 minutes. If it does not bleed at all, you may not have broken the skin and could be in the clear. You can test this by putting alcohol on the abrasion to see if it stings.
6. Can I get rabies from an animal that has current rabies vaccinations? Can my pet get rabies if it has current rabies vaccinations?
No. You cannot get rabies from an animal that has current rabies shots. If you are bitten or scratched by someone’s pet, ask the owner for proof of rabies vaccination, like a rabies tag on the collar. Take a photo or copy of these records and call their vet to verify them. If the shots are current, you're not at risk of rabies infection. If the pet owner cannot provide this proof of vaccination, contact your animal control department or rabies management / health department to file a "Bite Report". If you are in the USA, you can find a list of those agencies here: https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/resources/contacts.html
7. Can I get rabies from my pet, or from a friend or neighbor’s pet?
You may not need to get rabies shots if you can observe the animal that attacked you for two weeks. If you are bitten or scratched by a pet that is not vaccinated for rabies, the standard protocol is to quarantine the animal in an animal shelter or veterinarian's office for 10-14 days. If you were attacked by someone else’s pet and that is not possible, you can observe the animal for 14 days. If it doesn’t get sick and/or die of rabies, then you are not at risk of rabies and do not need rabies shots. If the animal is healthy in 14 days, IT DOES NOT HAVE RABIES and neither do you. Since most animals in the late stages of rabies typically die in about 48 hours, this is a very cautious timeframe to observe.
8. Can I get rabies from a bug, bird, lizard, or frog? Can I get rabies from a possum, or a rat or mouse?
No. Only mammals (furry animals) can carry rabies. Reptiles, amphibians, insects, and birds can’t carry rabies. Bats are one of the most common rabies carriers in the US, although less than half of 1% of all bats will ever get rabies. In the USA, the next most common species are raccoons, skunks, and foxes. Outside of the USA, dogs, cats, and other animals have been known to spread the rabies virus. The least common mammals include Virginia opossums, rodents (rats and mice), rabbits or hares, and squirrels. Globally, the #1 risk of rabies is dog bites.
9. Is there a risk of rabies in my area? Can I get rabies in India, or the UK?
To learn about rabies statistics for your area, Google your state or country's name and the phrase 'current rabies statistics'. These websites will tell you how many rabid animals have been found in your area and what species. They should also tell you who to call to report a bite. Some parts of the world are rabies-free and there is no rabies or risk of rabies infection. The UK (and most of western Europe) is free of rabies in most animals except for bats, which is rare. India has a high rabies risk from dogs and other mammals, but rabies is very rare in bats in India and has only been found in bats in a couple areas in Nagaland.
10. I was vaccinated for rabies. Does that mean I am protected for life and will never need to worry about it again?
No. Previously vaccinated people still get boosters if they are re-exposed to rabies. Your rabies titer can be high for a few months or for many years, but it is assumed that you are protected for at least three months after getting your initial shots. If you are bitten by animal and it has been less than 90 days since your last shot, you don’t need to do anything. If it has been more than 90 days since your last shot, you would still need post-exposure booster shots IF you are directly exposed to an animal that could be rabid. You do not need to go through the entire series of shots again; you only need booster shots.
· For more information about rabies and rabies shots, see the CDC website here: https://www.cdc.gov/rabies/index.html
· If you are in the USA here is a link to the state and local rabies contacts. USA State & Local Rabies Contacts
11. I was vaccinated for rabies but I did not receive HRIG (Human Rabies Immunogloblin). Why? Is that OK?
HRIG is sometimes not given if there is no visible wound or if you were bitten/scratched in a location that is hard to inject. For instance, it would be hard to inject HRIG into your ear. If you have no visible wound, then there is no way to tell where HRIG should be injected. If you have more questions about this, ASK YOUR DOCTOR.
12. I got rabies shots but I have questions about the specific medical care I received. Why did the doctor give me the care I received? I’m immunocompromised; do I need extra shots? Will my medication interact with the vaccine?
Ask your doctor questions about the specific medical care you received. People on the internet cannot answer those questions. A doctor’s job is to treat patients and explain their care to them so it is OK to ask follow-up questions even after you leave the office.
13. I am in a country that is not the US, or I am traveling. Why did doctors in my country give me a different schedule of shots than the ones recommended by the CDC or the WHO? Why did doctors in two different countries tell me two different shot schedules? Will the shots work?
Yess. Rabies protocols vary by country. The CDC guidance is specific to the USA, and the WHO guidance is a recommendation for all countries. Some countries give different numbers of shots on different days. That is OK. The schedules all work as long as you stick to them and finish the series. To find more information about a country’s rabies shot schedule, google the name of the country + rabies vaccination + regimen or protocol or schedule.
14. I waited a long time before I got rabies shots. Or I drank a beer after I got vaccinated, or I took an aspirin. Or a doctor gave me tetanus shots at the same time. Will the rabies shots still work?
Yes. Rabies vaccines are 100% effective if you get them before the virus reaches your brain and symptoms start, which usually takes 3 weeks to one year. For more info about symptoms, see FAQ #17. If you have more questions about your medical treatment, ASK YOUR DOCTOR.
15. I think I have health anxiety and I can’t stop thinking about rabies all the time. How can I get help for this?
See this link. The automod can be summoned to share this information with a comment that includes the word “helpbot."
16. Someone is asking questions in the sub that I think are super dumb. Should I tell them that?
No. Please do not be rude or impatient. There is a real difference between a legitimate rabies scare and Persistent Health Anxiety (PHA), a subset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD and anxiety are real diseases that can have physical symptoms, and there are treatments for them that many people don’t know how to access. Both conditions are terrifying and life-altering, and both conditions deserve support. In this group, we support people who ask for help and we applaud them for finding the courage to do so. We will be kind, patient, respectful, and do our best to provide emotional support to anyone who seeks help here. I will be posting a separate FAQ to address the health anxiety issue. All posts and/or replies that are in any way unkind, impatient, or rude will be immediately removed and the author may be temporarily or permanently banned from this group. Be nice!!
17. I feel sick. Do I have rabies?
If you feel sick, see a doctor. You may have another disease, including anxiety, which can have physical symptoms. We cannot diagnose you over the internet. See a doctor.
The rabies virus generally has an incubation period of 3 weeks to 1 year from the date of exposure. If you believe you are experiencing symptoms before 3 weeks after exposure, that is not rabies. If you think you are experiencing symptoms more than 1 year after exposure, it is almost certainly not rabies. if you have not been exposed to a rabid animal and you believe you are experiencing rabies symptoms, you are not infected and are most likely experiencing anxiety. the prodromal stage lasts for a few days to a month and the acute neurologic stage lasts for a few days to a week; if you have symptoms that last longer than this, you do not have rabies.
Rabies symptoms only begin when the virus reaches the brain. It MUST reach the brain and produce SEVERE NEUROLOGICAL symptoms before it reaches the throat and salivary glands. This means that your sore throat is NOT caused by rabies unless you also have a severe fever, are experiencing loss of consciousness, paralysis, and seizures.
Also, rabies symptoms do not go away until death. You don't have a fever and then the fever goes away for the next symptoms. Every symptom stacks on top of the other symptoms. If you are experiencing 1 out 10 symptoms, it's NOT RABIES. Rabies is not mild. It's SEVERE in every way. If you are experiencing rabies symptoms you will need to be hospitalized within the first 8 hours of symptoms.
IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO GET VACCINATED UNTIL SYMPTOMS START, but only get vaccinated if you were attacked by a rabid animal. Waking up with a mystery scratch is not a rabies exposure.
Rabies symptoms are as follows, IN THIS ORDER:
Prodromal Stage:
• Extreme Fever
• Extreme Headache
Acute neurologic phase:
• Visual Disturbances, Hallucinations
• Delirium, Confusion
• Tremors, Seizures, Repetitive Uncontrollable Movements
• Fading In and Out of Consciousness
• Light Sensitivity, Sensitivity to Wind / Moving Air
• Partial Paralysis of Extremities, Paralysis of One or Both Legs or Arms
• Excessive Salivation, combined with the inability to swallow AT ALL, not even your own saliva which causes excessive drooling
• Inability to Swallow - NOT SORE THROAT - Inability to eat or drink, or swallow your own saliva production
• Extreme Aversion to sight or sound of water, food, or drink, AKA hydrophobia
• Coma
Without extreme medical intervention, which usually is an induced coma, these symptoms will progress to death very rapidly. Most patients who reach the point of excessive salivation and hydrophobia die within 12-24 hours without intervention.
IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THESE SYMPTOMS, CALL 911 AND GET TO A HOSPITAL IMMEDIATELY. IF YOU CAN REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE, YOU ARE NOT EXPERIENCING RABIES SYMPTOMS. PEOPLE WITH ACTIVE RABIES INFECTIONS CANNOT TYPE, TALK, OR DEBATE WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE SICK. IF YOU CAN READ THIS AND REPLY, IT'S NOT RABIES.

Hi Reddit, throw away account for obvious reasons but y’all are a lot cheaper than therapy so here we go. I know this is long but I feel that the context is important.
TL;DR - I need advice for how to tell my mom that I intend to go no contact with my mom because I can’t deal with her husband’s alcohol fueled innappropriate behavior in my life anymore especially now that I have a family of my own. I already had a long heart to heart explaining where I’m coming from and she appeared to understand and even agree, but she still makes excuses for her husband.
I (31 F) have a young daughter only a few months old. My mom (57 F) has been married to my stepdad (60 M) for 28 years, and I’ve never gotten along with him. He’s an alcoholic, and for lack of a better description, turns into a belligerent asshole when he’s drunk, which is of course all the time. He’s extremely inappropriate and vulgar in public and even at important family events (weddings, funerals, etc), and generally makes everyone, including his own family members uncomfortable. Unfortunately, my mom has been with him for so long that she makes excuses for him, and is constantly manipulated by him. There have been prior domestic violence incidents where I’ve called the police, and she lies for him. They’re both retired, and she’s super intelligent so is constantly wanting to learn new things, but he prevents her from doing any hobbies or additional education that makes her happy - especially if alcohol isn’t involved or if it’s inconveniences him.
So this weekend, both of them flew in from out of town - we live almost 1,000 miles away across a few states - to spend some time with my daughter, and to celebrate my birthday and Mother’s Day. We also scheduled our daughter’s baptism for this same weekend so my mom could attend since she’s recently taken up an interest in my religion.
I knew there would be a problem pretty quickly after they landed. We have small a local airport only 10 minutes away from us, but they always choose to fly to a larger international airport in a different state, rent a car, and drive over 2 hours to get here. There was an issue with their rental car and my mom started texting me to complain about it. I tried to brush it off and not get annoyed, but this happens every single time they come and there are obviously more convenient options. It took them over 3 1/2 hours to get to our city from the airport and I get texts like “omg we finally just now made it to our airbnb”.
I called her and it was clear that they had been drinking either on the plane, in the airports, or more likely than not, both - even though it was barely noon. She was annoyed and asked about our impending dinner reservation, which was several hours away still. I asked if she was going to come to our house to see her granddaughter beforehand, but she wanted to “relax” at the airbnb (aka drink more) and that my stepdad was trying to find a last minute barber in town because he was apparently unhappy with how his hair was overgrown. Never heard him mention a barber in my life so this was extremely strange to me.
A few hours go by and we’ve got about 30 minutes before we have to leave for dinner. I get a text from my mom asking if we can go pick her up at the airbnb alone. Due to my stepdads history I asked if everything was ok, and all I got in reply was “no”. I sent my husband over there and she was waiting on the street. When she got in his car and he asked if she was alright, she jokingly said “oh well I’m single now”.
I didn’t get much info out of her except he was “cranky” about their travel day and mad he couldn’t find a barber - again - so fucking random. They had gotten into a verbal altercation and he locked himself in the bathroom for over an hour. We’re talking about a 60 year old man here.. some people never grow up I guess. So she comes to dinner with the rest of our group of family and friends and acts like everything is ok. I tried to insist that she stay at our house that night because I didn’t feel that it was safe, but she went back to the airbnb anyway.
When she got back there, my stepdad and their rental car was gone, and he had turned off his location from her view. I called her and had a long hour conversation about how this behavior isn’t ok, that he’s manipulative, and that we’d be happy to let her live with us if that’s what it takes to get her out of this toxic relationship. She cried and agreed that what he does isn’t ok and that it’s a huge struggle for her and said “I’m not 100% sure but I think this is it for me finally”.
I wasn’t happy that it had come to this but I was glad to have a breakthrough with her, and be able to be blatantly honest. Also needs to be mentioned that when I talk to her on the phone, it is ALWAYS on speaker and he’s listening in. Even if he’s in the bathroom, she asks me to recap what I said if he comes back. Not just me, other family members notice this too.
While on this hour long conversation we talked about how he is no longer invited to my daughters baptism the next day or to my house and I offered to have my husband and I tell him ourselves, which she insisted that she wanted to handle herself to “soften the blow”.
So all this transpires, he apparently came back to the airbnb very late and apologized to her, and today she attended my daughter’s baptism alone. She was clearly upset about his absence, but I stood my ground. She asked if I had changed my mind about the rest of the weekend because “he was so apologetic” to her, and I again said no. It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last time but I’ve had enough over the last 28 years of him manipulating my mom. While we were packing up to leave the church she told me that she would probably be spending time with him because “he wouldn’t be ok” hanging out alone for the rest of the weekend. She also suggested that she would try to fly out again in a few weeks alone after the dust settles to spend time with me and my daughter.
When we were walking to our cars, my mom was borderline crying, didn’t say goodbye to me or my daughter, got into the car (she hitched a right with one of our friends since we didn’t have room in our car) and left. She didn’t come to our house, she didn’t show up for our planned lunch reservation, and she hasn’t said a word to me since.
At this point even if she does reach out and not just fly home in the next few days I’ve decided that the option is 1) she can be a part of my life and my family’s life if her husband isn’t around or 2) no-contact. I wish I could say this is the first time I’ve gone no-contact with them, but there were a time period over 10 years ago that I didn’t speak to them either and that lasted 3 years.
I know she’s not going to take it well when I tell her, and I’ve accepted the fact that she’s likely going to stay with him even if it means never seeing her granddaughter again. Or IF I get to tell her at all since she is not talking to me. Her airbnb is literally 1/2 mile from my house and we can see each other’s location so I know she’s just there with him and ghosting me.
So now I feel that I’m in a stalemate waiting for her to talk to me, just so that I can tell her that I can’t have her as a part of my life if her husband is always tagging along. I also want to make it clear that while I think it would be better that she divorce him, that’s not the ultimatum I’m wanting to communicate to her.

i’m so sorry if this is rlly long, im new to reddit so pls let me know if i need to shorten it and how to do so😭
hi so this is kinda hard to explain fully so i’ll try to explain the most important parts.
this maybe a TW to a lot of ppl so please be careful reading this i don’t want to upset anyone! ⚠️
so i’m 20(f) and i’ve been with this guy (also 20)for about over two years. we met in highschool when i was going through a breakup and he was one of my only closest friends. as with all abusive relationships, it started off so amazing, it was my first in person serious relationship so i was fully heard over heels. so much so that when red flags started popping up i ignored them. it started off with him telling me to drop my closest guy friends, etc… and i did because he used him having no friends at all to make me feel like i had to do the same. he also got me into smoking weed, which i have nothing against btw, it was just bad for me because i used it to cope with a lot of my depression. since i smoked weed more often, i started gaining weight which i had no problem with since i had gone through a severe case of anorexia about 2 years prior, but it did make me a little insecure. slowly he started insulting my weight, my body, and so many other things, until it led to the point where he got physical after around six or seven months of us dating. i remember his mom walking in on him about to hit me with a belt and she had been abused by his dad and my bf witnessed it all, so she was very angry at him and she took my side, and i’ll never forget what she told me; “this isn’t love. someone who loves you would never even think of putting their hands on you”. i still feel guilty for not listening to her. i wanted to believe in him so badly, so i stayed and things just got worse.
everyday there was a fight, either verbally or physically (most of the time both), and i just felt so horrible. so i eventually wanted to adopt a cat, something i always wanted to do since i was a little girl. i adopted a kitten and unfortunately my parents did not allow me to keep him at my house because of my dog, and i asked my bf if i could keep him at his house for the meantime while i can work with my parents on how he can live with me (the kitten). i am not exaggerating when i say that that little kitten was my soulmate in a little cat body. he seemed to understand me and love me in a way no other human did. and i loved him more than anything. i eventually went on vacation with my family for a few days and when i came back i could tell somehow things were different. he wouldn’t let me see my kitten and when i pretty much forced him to let me see him, he started crying and begging me not to leave him. i of course panicked and agreed because i thought something bad happened to my kitten, and he showed me him and told me that he had broken one of his paws. i was so horrified, i felt so much pain at seeing my little buddy in that state, so i freaked out and i demanded and begged that he let me take him to the vet or anywhere else that wasn’t his house so that he can get help. but he refused, and even threatened me if i took him, saying it was his cat and just making me feel like it was my fault that this happened and not his. my biggest regret and the reason i feel guilty to this day is that i stayed out of fear, instead of taking my kitten with me and never looking back. he ended up killing my kitten one night that i went home (i have always lived with my parents), and he didn’t tell me until i came over the next day. it was the most painful and traumatic day of my life, knowing that i never got to say goodbye to my kitten, knowing how much my kitten loved me and how much i loved him, and now he was gone when he shouldn’t have been. i screamed and cried so much, and his (my bfs) only response was to aggressively attack me so i would be quiet, and blaming me that if i had taken him he would still be alive.
i felt so guilty and ashamed that i didn’t tell anyone until a month later, when i started having an onset of ptsd because of everything that happened, i decided to tell my therapist. she was horrified, saying that it was one of the most horrific things she ever heard, and honestly if it wasn’t for her help, i would’ve never survived that pain and guilt of losing my kitten. i know now that i was in a heavy denial that my bf would do something so horrible, so i continued on seeing him, but things just got worse and worse. he did so many fucked up things to me, physically, mentally, sexually, in almost every single way possible that you can imagine. i used weed as my coping mechanism for a lot of it, and it was the only way i could numb all the pain he was causing me. i was so depressed, i never felt suicidal with intentions of offing myself, but i did just want to go to sleep and never wake up. the guilt of my kittens death, combined with the horrible abuse this person that was supposed to love me was doing, was so painful. eventually i told my family what happened, but all they did was basically say that i “let it happen” and that “i should’ve left the first time he put his hands on me”, and that “why didn’t i defend myself the way i defended myself against them (referring to my family)”. it hurt but i understand they weren’t educated on it, especially coming from a minority family.
eventually a few months passed, and i found out i was pregnant. it was honestly one of the best days of my life, even if i was young, i still was happy because there was this little life in me. and i knew from the second i found out that i couldn’t stay with him. i couldn’t allow my baby to have that same life that i was living, but i didn’t know how to get out. he didn’t want me to continue the pregnancy when i told him, and even threatened to leave me and not support me at all, but i was determined to stand by my decision; he wasn’t going to take away my choice of having my baby. i stopped smoking weed the day i found out, and he always tried to make me smoke, which i refused, which would get him so upset. but i was determined to take care of my lil baby from the start, he had taken away too much already from me. i told my parents and they were disappointed but quickly became supportive, and encouraged me to leave him for good. it took a few months of me seeing him occasionally, but things not really changing, for me to leave him for good.
i left a few weeks ago due to me realizing that the only thing i was doing by going over to his house was putting myself and my baby in danger. and after a very scary traumatizing incident, i realized while crying and praying to God, that the only true love i’ve ever felt and feel at this point, is for my baby. my bf was no longer my whole world, it was my baby, and as a mother to be, i was going to do everything to protect my baby. i rather go through the pain of breaking away from my bf then something bad happening to me or even to my baby. not only does my baby deserve a happy and safe life, but i realized that i do too. and in order for my baby to be happy, i have to be happy as well. so i made a promise to God and to myself and my baby, that i was never ever going to see my bf again. so that day after i left his house, i never went back. i don’t blame other moms in these situations, because it is so incredibly difficult to get out, i know, trust me i do. but for me what has helped me stay strong in my decision, is seeing how much happier me and my baby are already. i only have a few more months until i give birth, and i can already feel him kicking so hard now and being much more active. i truly believe it’s because he senses that we’re truly safe now, that our nightmare is over.
it’s been really hard i’m not going to lie, i cry sometimes and miss the person i fell in love with, but my faith in God and my baby have helped me a lot, as well as my family! that person i fell in love with, left a long time ago, and was never truly there. i know that i’m doing the right decision for me and my baby, to be safe and to have a happy life together. i know i can be both mommy and daddy to him, and most importantly i’ll teach him that he has God as his father too, which is much much better than having a pos father tbh.
going back to the title of my post though, i realized in these recent days that i know it’s time to go no contact completely. i haven’t seen him at all which i know is good, but i know to fully move on i have to cut off all communication with him. i think he can sense i’m breaking away from him, because yesterday he begged me to come over, saying all the things he used to say before, like that he “wants to hold me”, he wants to get our favorite drink together and food, that he wants to feel our baby kick, which honestly made it so hard to say no but i stood by my decision as painful as it was 🫠i told him i will not see him because i know things are going to remain the same and i’m doing what’s best for my baby and for me. and that as much as i still have love for him and miss him, i will not put myself or my baby in danger any longer. he proved my point after i said that, because he basically said so many horrible things to me, including that i was a “dumb overweight bitch”, “fuck you”, and he got mad that i saved a video of MY kitten that HE killed, saying that “fuck you for saving a video of me and my boy”, and a bunch of other hurtful stuff. it was honestly so disgusting and it made me glad i stuck by my decision to not ever see him again. i left him on read so he spam called me and i only answered once to tell him to leave me alone, but he basically only called me to say “i rather spend money on drugs and alcohol than you and that fucking baby🥲”. i’m not going to lie and act like it didn’t hurt, it really did. it really really did. but it also strangely gives me strength and makes me feel reassured that i made the best decision ever by leaving, not only for myself but for most importantly my baby. i don’t need him in my life anymore, all i need is my baby, God, and my family.
ever since then i want to send him a message that i want to breakup with him for good and basically go no contact from there. it sounds stupid, but i’m still scared to do so, i’m scared i’ll regret it in a way, even though i know for certain i won’t. i also remember the “good times” and it makes me sad and feel guilty for “giving up on him” even tho i know he doesn’t deserve me at all🫠. i guess that’s the abused part of me being scared still. i know i’ve taken an important big step by cutting off physical contact, but i know i can’t keep talking to him because he’ll only find other ways to torment me and make me feel bad even from far away. i guess i just wanted to ask for reassurance that i’m doing the right thing? idk🥲 sometimes it feels like i’m not strong enough, but my baby always reminds me with his kicks (lol) of why i’m doing all of this, which is for him!! a mothers love is truly so strong, i never really knew that until now. i would do anything to protect my baby. the only thing that has kept me happy and strong enough to continue is him! :’) and i also want to cut off contact for good because i want to enjoy the last months of my pregnancy in peace lol, and once he’s born soon i def do not need my bf stressing me out nor do i want him to. i also do not want him to be apart of my baby’s life once he’s born, i made sure to collect evidence just in case he ever wants to ask for visitation rights, cuz there is NO WAY in hell i will ever allow him to be near my baby let alone be alone with him ever. it’s sad but it’s the reality of his actions, it’s my job to protect my baby first. i’m lucky to have my family’s financial support as well while i finish up college, so i def do not care if he threatens me with not paying child support. i just want him out of our lives for good.
so yeah im just looking for reassurance that im doing the right thing and any advice if anyone has some! 🥹🫶i just want to be a good mommy to my baby and i hope i’m doing just that already 🥲❤️‍🩹i haven’t really told many people about my story out of fear of judgment, so it’s really a big step for me to share, even if it’s anonymous in a way. im just focusing on trusting God and myself, and im so excited to meet my baby soon! 🥹and to do better in college since i’ve been slacking ever since i started due to all the trauma and problems my bf put me through. i’m excited in general, to get my life back and to start a new chapter with my little one! 🥹🥲🫶 i got in contact with my old friends which has been nice, i know i should try to socialize more so i won’t feel as depressed. i also am looking for a new therapist (i stopped going to my old one a few months ago due to it being out of pocket😭), which i’ve been procrastinating but i know it’s important to help me heal from my trauma and to help me with my ocd (which has gotten worse tbh and it makes me more anxious about my baby🥲 even tho i know he’s okay i’m just really paranoid always). i am sad, but not as sad as i was when i was with him. and while i don’t really want to find a partner in the future because my priority is my baby, i do hope i’ll one day find someone who can love me as i deserve. it feels impossible though, but i know that might just be because of all the effects of his abuse…
i hope even if you don’t have advice for me or anything to say (which is totally fine!) i hope people reading this can find comfort that all bad moments come to an end, and that you have the power to leave, as hard as it is ❤️‍🩹even if it doesn’t seem like it, i promise you will get through it. i’m still not over it completely, i def have a long way to go, but i know it’ll all be worth it, and tbh it already is worth it!
thank you for taking the time to read this, i send all my love and good vibes to all of you warriors! <3 :’)

I get the feeling the heat is being turned way up.
Donna’s upcoming trial, CA being moved far away from “civilization”, WA relocating to TX, HA now totally abandoned.
Are they all feeling the walls finally closing in. Their options for dealing with the fear are limited.
(Please forgive me if I’m being too insensitive.)
Thinking of anyone being so desolate and desperate to want to end their life is so disturbing and heartbreaking to me (I’ve lived through it my dad) despite them seemingly having an evil heart and committing heinous crimes. So in that regard (and as much I despise the Adelsons for how they destroyed so many people’s lives) I still feel a scintilla of empathy. (I’m ducking for cover now as the downvotes pile in).
We know DA considered unaliving herself as an alternative to fleeing (or at least she alluded to it in recorded calls). Her visible shock and disgust when the Leon CountyJail attorney mentioned this in court seemed to be an attempt at being a great actress but major fail IMO
HA has to be mentally struggling even more now that WA has abandoned him and taken his grandsons away. At 80 years old and likely lonely as heck, possibly having health issues brought on by endless stress, I could see him just wanting to end the anguish and pain.
Dreading watching and hearing and reading about his wife of 55+ years going through a trial where her total lack of decency and integrity and her cold cruelty would be exposed to millions of people worldwide. (Not sure if his distress would be a result of shame and embarrassment or out of love and respect for his Donna Sue - or all of the above).
CA and DA are likely closely monitored so they don’t have any options other than endure.
I’m not sure about WA. Does this move to TX mean she’s putting her kids close to extended family because she plans to flee or consider a more dire move? Maybe she can no longer deal with the anxiety and dread about an impending arrest and the thought of being incarcerated like mom and brother?
Again, it hurts me to think of ANYONE being this desolate. Yet I despise WA for the tremendous pain she has inflicted on her sons and the Markel family.
I’m confident that she will be convicted and I have no doubt she’s realizing this too. I can see her taking the cowardly way out.
She’s truly selfish (evidenced dozens of times) and she’s likely terrified that Georgia will produce enough new evidence to show exactly what a cold, calculating, egotistical, lying person she is. And her ego and arrogance wouldn’t be able to bear this humiliation and unmasking of her true and evil self.
Again, apologies for what may seem hard hearted, but I think it’s worthy of a kind and sensitive and careful discussion.

(Throwaway account)
I had 2 littles intentionally back to back (2.5yo & 1yo) with my high school sweetheart. We’ve been together 16 years and married for 8. We have supported each other through many dreams and goals, and have a strong relationship, however it’s currently experiencing a lot of stress due to having 2 small children.
I have a Master’s degree in a field I love, and up until last year was doing a job I love that also pays well. We decided when my youngest was 5 months old that I would take time off of work to be home with the kids, and this was a decision we’ve been happy with on a macro level. On a micro level, I’m not particularly enjoying it as much as working, but I do love that my kids are home with us - my husband works from home.
Here’s where I need advice or words of caution. We’ve discussed me possibly staying home with the kids indefinitely. This was my dream prior to realizing just how difficult and soul-draining staying home with 2 toddlers all day is. However my older will be starting pre-school in the fall and I know this season is only this draining for so long.
Financially we can afford it with room in our budget for self-care, vacations and developmental activities for the kids. If I go back to work, some of the budget does have to go to childcare but not an exorbitant amount. The real issue is that like many, my field is a use it or lose it type of profession. The longer I stay out, the more things change and the less likely they’ll take me back versus a new grad or someone who hasn’t taken time off so I need to decide soon, possibly by this summer.
I’m having trouble deciding what to do. On one hand I want what’s best for my kids and I think that’s me being home, but I also don’t want to look back in 20 years with a philandering husband, kids who tell me they never asked me to stay home, no career and starting over. He’s a great husband I don’t think this will be the case but I’ve seen many tales and want to plan for any outcome.
What would you do? I’ve tried to make a decision for months and I’m not really sure which direction to go. Go back to work or be a SAHM?

Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 2,182,000+ words long! For more information, check out the link below:
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(Previous Part)
(Part 001)
"Hell yeah, I wanna go exploring." Jason says to Calanthra with a smile. "How do we navigate around Ripspace though? Traveling to other galaxies is going to take billions of years, right? Surely, there's a shortcut."
"Ripspace is not as it seems." Calanthra explains, gesturing grandly to the epic sight before them. "It is a connection between the past and the present; the near and far. The further away or the further back you want to travel, the higher the price you will have to pay."
Jason's smile vanishes. "Wait... you can use Ripspace to travel back in time?!"
"No." Calanthra clarifies. "Time is linear. We cannot travel through it. Some can slow it down or speed it up. A rare few can even pause it for a short while. But moving forward and backward is impossible. Countless have attempted to do so over the eons, but all have failed."
She looks at Jason meaningfully. "Many Rulers would wipe out galaxies if it might let them obtain such a power. The fact they still haven't proves it is impossible."
Jason nods slowly. "I won't lie. I have a lot of regrets. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and save my daughter from dying."
"Everyone has regrets." Calanthra muses, looking off into the distance. "I have plenty, myself. But it's better this way. There would be pandemonium if time travel ever became possible."
She pauses before continuing with her explanation. "While we cannot go back in time, we can look back into time. Pinpointing exact moments in history is difficult, to say the least, but it is possible to use Ripspace to search for key moments in intergalactic history."
"So it's like a massive seer-stone." Jason muses aloud. "But wait, didn't you imply earlier that you used Ripspace to travel to the Milky Way from Andromeda? How does it allow you to jump between galaxies? Are other species using Ripspace for intergalactic travel?"
"You can indeed use Ripspace to travel to distant reaches of space." Calanthra explains. "But... you have to pay a certain price. Akasha's Barriers still protect every galaxy. Cosmics cannot travel between them easily. Mortals can, but the price we must pay is unimaginably steep. That is also the reason my mother perished not long after arriving in the Milky Way and giving birth to me."
The Fairy Monarch sighs softly.
"My people used the power of Ripspace to travel to several other galaxies. We were fortunate that the Creator had died, allowing us to take up residence here in secret, but the Angels, Titans, and Dragons were still a threat we could not overlook. Later, the Volgrim rose up too, and that was something that worried us for a while. Particularly when their Sentinels began to rapaciously erase the lives of innumerable Sentients."
She waves her hand. "Ultimately, very few galaxies didn't have a Ruler in power. Traveling to one that did meant flipping a coin and praying our people could avoid their gaze. Sadly, time has shown me that we were likely unsuccessful. I have lost contact with all my sisters across the cosmos."
The image of innumerable galaxies floating in the distance changes before Jason's eyes. Calanthra manipulates some unseen power, causing herself and Jason to suddenly materialize directly in front of a beautiful spiral galaxy.
"This is our Milky Way." Calanthra explains, waving her hand to conjure another, far bigger galaxy beside it. "And this is Andromeda."
"Is it just me or does Andromeda seem... brighter?" Jason asks.
"Andromeda contains far more interstellar particles, cosmic energy, and latent magical power than the Milky Way." Calanthra says. "Of course, in the ancient past, it had even more than it does now, but such is the way of entropy and Chaos."
Jason nods. "How exactly do galaxies lose power over time? Doesn't this feel self-defeating in a way?"
"Every Ruler enters the Unending War with a strategy." Calanthra says, motioning with her hands to disperse the galaxies and reveal images of ghostly creatures, some standing on two legs, some on four, and plenty that appear as mere blobs of energy. "I cannot pretend to know the thoughts of such high and mighty beings, especially as I am a mere mortal myself. Even so, I can definitively state that there are Rulers who seek to put as much galactic energy into their initial creations as possible, while others wish to adopt a more energy-efficient growth-model."
She pokes her finger against Jason's chest. "Take the angels and humans, for instance. The Creator poured the vast majority of his power into creating a galaxy full of Apex Cosmics. At their peak, the angels as a whole commanded enough power to flatten other galaxies. But what did they do instead? They fought with one another, killing themselves due to sheer boredom, if not outright ego."
"I see." Jason says, brushing Calanthra's finger away. "So the Creator dumped all the Milky Way's energy into the angels. I take it this is uncommon among Rulers?"
"Of course. It's a wasteful strategy and usually loses Rulers the War for that Eternity." Calanthra says dismissively. "The Timeless used a different strategy. She created the fairies as mere mortals that evolved over time, gaining greater and greater power through their own efforts. This meant that instead of devouring Andromeda's abundant Cosmic energy, they could slowly sap off its excess over time. For you see, the more energy a galaxy has, the more it can produce. If you ration it long enough, you can reap more of it across the duration of an Eternity."
"That makes sense." Jason concludes. "It's like a Rush build in an RTS versus an Economy build. You sacrifice long-term gains in exchange for short-term power. The problem is, with Akasha's Barriers preventing Rulers from attacking their enemies straight away, a Rush build is dumb because you're just wasting your resources and sacrificing Cosmic energy when you'll actually need it."
Calanthra blinks twice. She looks at Jason with a strange expression, then turns away for a moment, trying to understand the strange terms he's used. They mostly make sense, but some of them are a little...
She shakes her head and returns to the topic at hand. "Right. Rush strategy versus Economy. Of... course. Well, in any case, there is one advantage toward the first strategy. If you drain all the energy from your galaxy, it becomes less appealing for other Rulers to attack. Because Andromeda was so large and still filled with Cosmic power even billions of years after the Expansion Era, it stoked the hunger of the Dark Ones. Meanwhile, the Milky Way only needs to deal with the Plague, which is threatening for mortals, but manageable for Cosmics. In that respect, we've gotten off much luckier."
"I get the bigger picture now." Jason says with a nod. He turns to look back at the cosmos before him. "So, what about all this? Are we gonna go exploring, or what?"
"In order to explore the universe presented here, we would need to make sacrifices we cannot afford. I think you would find the price most disagreeable. But there is something we can explore freely..."
She waves her hand, and instantly, the brilliant and beautiful cosmic view of the universe vanishes.
In its place, Jason and Calanthra suddenly appear inside a dead, barren wasteland. Brown and grey dirt rises up in huge dunes stretching off into the distance. Fallen towers made of gold and stone lay on their sides, or stick into the ground, buried nearly up to their tops as they point diagonally toward the sky.
And speaking of the sky, it glows faintly grey, as if some weak, pale imitation of a star were trying to shine through a thin atmosphere clouded by dust and grime. The very air itself smells of sulfur and toxins, making Jason's nose curl up when he takes a breath.
"Ugh... what the hell? Where are we now?" Jason asks, as he turns and looks around at the dead world surrounding him.
"An Ancient Domain." Calanthra says softly. "A remnant of a dead universe. All life stripped away. All hope lost. Septillions of different Sentient species, gone. Their mortals, their Cosmics, reduced to dust by the Contraction."
The Wordsmith frowns. "This Ancient Domain represents a dead universe? But how can that be possible? If the Heat Death played out and all the galaxies faded to cosmic dust, then there already wouldn't be anything left. And then, if the entire universe collapsed into a singularity before exploding again, there definitely wouldn't be anything left behind resembling physical matter."
"You perceive reality through just three dimensions." Calanthra intones. "Time and space can be considered two dimensions. Cosmic Power is another dimension. I must admit I do not understand how Ancient Domains have continued to exist across countless Eternities, and I don't know how they retain a vaguely familiar form... but I can assure you that in spite of bending logic itself, they do exist and they can provide tangible benefits to those dedicated to exploring them."
"You've been exploring them, then?" Jason asks, turning away from the dead world to scrutinize Calanthra's phantasmal image.
"Me, a little. But often, I dispatch my descendants to scour these Ancient Domains for things of value. It may surprise you, but there are powerful artifacts, vengeful spirits, and all manner of other inter-dimensional horrors lurking within these so-called dead-lands."
Calanthra pauses. She shifts her posture to look at Jason deeply.
"And that is why I've brought you here, Jason. It's time for me to get down to the crux of the matter and breach the subject that I find most important."
He nods. "I'm listening."
"It's like this." Calanthra explains. "The Ancient Domains are unfathomably broad. Think of how large a universe is. Think of how many universes have existed. Think of how much space my people have yet to explore."
She pauses.
"The gains we have received have made my people stronger than you would expect. Among those gains are Yredelemnul's Eye and other leftover remnants of power that many dead ancient Rulers lost when their Existences became forfeit. While their tangible Existences may have perished, their spirits sometimes live on in these broad, unending dead universes..."
"That's why you approached me." Jason says, while crossing his arms and leaning on the ball of his heel. "You said you wanted an alliance with humanity. You... want humans to help you explore the Ancient Domains?"
"Trust is hard to come by among mortals, Cosmics, and Rulers." Calanthra says simply. "I never would have considered allying with the humans before, but you have shown me the broadness of your mind during the debate against your clone and the commander of your military. To some, you certainly appear naive, but to me I see an opportunity I would be foolish to ignore."
She continues. "The Fairies cannot reproduce efficiently. Every fairy we send into the Ancient Domain is one less fairy we have among our Empire. We already have a difficult time replenishing our numbers through the remaining Male Fairies, but do you think it is easy for us to reproduce with other species?"
Jason slowly shakes his head. "Blinker and Kar's children were all crocodiles, not fairies. From that, I can only imagine that most of the time, your mating attempts do not create more of yourselves, but instead more non-fairy children."
"That's exactly correct." Calanthra replies. "But that all changed recently when I found out one of your human males somehow spontaneously altered his genetic profile to become a fairy. There is no doubt about it; Samuel Baker harnesses all the capability to reproduce that you humans do, as well as the trueborn powers of any male fairy."
"So... are you seeking a marriage alliance with Samuel Baker?" Jason asks, scratching his head in confusion. "You could just ask him yourself, you know?"
"This is not about one man." Calanthra retorts. "Samuel Baker, if he were to join our ranks, would certainly help us stave off extinction for a while longer. But that is hardly worth all this melodrama and me taking you to the Ancient Domain in person..."
Jason's eyes widen in realization. "I see! You... you're thinking that if my magic could make one male fairy, I could surely make another, and another..."
"Yes, precisely." Calanthra says, revealing a beautiful smile. "Additionally, if humans were to assist us in scouring these Ancient Domains, we could make great gains together. There is plenty of room for another species to join ours in locating powerful artifacts and other items capable of Uplifting us."
"You want to become Cosmics still." Jason muses. "You haven't resigned yourselves to your current fate."
"Quite the opposite." Calanthra says. "The curse placed upon us is unbreakable by those beneath the realm of Ruler. As I said before, the fairies have lost this Eternity's war. However, while we cannot Ascend any longer, that does not mean the humans are subject to the same limitation. If we could groom a human into becoming the Milky Way's Ruler, we could finally break free of our shackles by virtue of having a powerful ally."
She pauses, looking meaningfully at the Wordsmith.
"If the Demons or the Volgrim were to become our Ruler, we would not enjoy such a benefit. At best, we would only maintain the status quo, and at worst, they might eradicate us out of fear of having an unsightly tumor in their midst."
"Haha." Jason laughs. "So you brought me here to show your sincerity. I get it. Well, I'm definitely not opposed to helping you. Blinker is my good friend. If she were to ask me, I'd definitely say yes to just about any request."
Jason turns away. He walks a few feet off to the side and pauses, standing to gaze out at the Ancient Domain and its endlessly rolling plains which stretches off into the infinite distance...
"Here's what I can do." Jason says. "My people are already working on laying out the options for humanity and where our fellow men and women will depart over the next few weeks. Some will travel to Maiura. Some will go to Sharmur. Some will stay on Tarus II. It's no trouble at all to put Pixiv on the list, especially as I was already planning to do that. I even have some other places I'd like to include, too..."
"Such as Camael's Cube?" Calanthra asks with a smile. "Or do you perhaps mean Chrona and Hope's Hall of Heroes?"
Jason nearly jumps out of his skin. He whirls around to look at Calanthra with shock in his eyes. "What?! How do you know about Chrona? How do you also know about where Hope has been hiding?? I don't even know that much!"
"For those who are talented in magic, it is possible to see through many lies and deceptions." Calanthra says calmly, unfazed by the alarm on Jason's face. "Your Spynet Sphere isn't so different from the many options I have at my disposal. I have many means to keep an eye on the galaxy. And while Diablo does not know exactly where or what Chrona is, he certainly knows of its general existence."
Her smile turns cold. "I would advise you not to take Unarin lightly either, Wordsmith. That ancient creature is more capable than you can imagine. He is hiding a great many secrets from the galaxy... secrets he does not know that I am aware of. If he were to learn of the true extent of my information web, I fear that he would dispatch a handful of High Psions to eliminate the fairy species tomorrow."
Calanthra's words truly rock Jason to his core. All along, he assumed the precautions he put on Chrona, precautions that fooled even Hope, would make his hidden dimension impossible to detect.
But how could he be so naive?
As the daughter of an Apex Cosmic, Calanthra must have her means, and that likely means Unarin and Diablo aren't too far behind either.
"Shit." Jason curses, lowering his head as a flicker of anger smolders in his heart. "I was too complacent. Chrona isn't secure, which means it's only a matter of time before more Cosmics learn of its existence. How long before they can find its exact location and invade it?"
"Calm yourself, child." Calanthra says soothingly. "The situation is not that dire. After all, Chrona still exists within a highly accelerated timespace. Any biological entity that wishes to travel there could suffer severe after-effects. Furthermore, the entities born inside will be too adapted to living within a higher dimension, so they won't pose much threat to the creatures of realspace."
She waves her hand. "Let's move on, Jason. I want to discuss other matters before dying of old age."
The Wordsmith cools himself off. He inhales deeply, then returns his attention to her.
"Alright. What next, then?"
"Fairies are not the only Sentients capable of entering Ancient Domains." Calanthra explains. "There are others who rarely appear inside here. That is why exploring these domains can be dangerous. The good news is that Cosmics have little need to enter these barren lands, as most of the heritages, treasures, and other such gains you might find inside are only useful to mortals. There are exceptions, but they are so rare as to be a needle found within ten million haystacks. A waste of effort better spent simply progressing one's Cosmic power the ordinary way."
"So what you're saying is, when you send fairies into an Ancient Domain, they can die as a result of crossing paths with Sentients from other galaxies." Jason concludes. "But if you had an army of humans to enter with you, your people would be a lot safer."
"Safety in numbers, yes. And you humans are... uniquely advantaged in Ancient Domain exploration." Calanthra says mysteriously. "Before that, though... do you know what the Power of Imagination is, Wordsmith?"
Jason raises an eyebrow. "Imagination? Like the mental ability to visualize stuff in your head? Yeah. It's not that complicated to understand."
"Ah, that's where you're wrong." Calanthra chides gently. "Imagination is the key to magical power. Imagination, Conception, Visualization, these are all key capabilities powerful maguses and sorcerors use to uplift their capabilities! And as it turns out, most Sentients are actually quite terrible at conceptualizing thoughts into imagery."
She gestures grandly. "Just take the Volgrim! You may think they are a powerful Sentient species, but in fact the Volgrim have terrible imaginations. They are stodgy, dull, and lack a great deal of creativity. All the gains their Technopaths make through technology are developed via brute force. They slowly improve their technological prowess by minute fractions over long periods of time, eventually resulting in a large and cohesive buildup."
"At the same time, the Psions Uplift themselves through meditation and sitting motionless for thousands of years at a time. Can a species capable of such incredible feats of drudgery also possess limitless imagination? I think not."
"Maybe the reason they're able to sit still for so long is because they live in their imagination?" Jason posits. "In which case their power of imagination should be quite formidable, right?"
"Possible, but unlikely." Calanthra says with a wave of her hand. "Never mind that. The point I'm trying to make is that humans have an extremely high affinity for magic. If your people were to ally with mine, we could teach you our ways. You could help us through your Wordsmithing and superior genetics, creating more fairies and humans alike. This would create a recursive cycle that would continually bolster both our species to greater and greater heights!"
She lowers her voice back to normal. "An alliance with humanity would have other benefits. You humans are equally adept in technology and magic both. You are versatile, capable of learning any skill provided you have time to devote to your studies. The bursts of inspiration you receive also allow you to make large jumps in capability as well, which could mean that in a relatively short period, you might even be capable of challenging the Volgrim."
Jason nods. "That does sound tempting, Calanthra. I'm willing to help you, but I won't demand my people join the fairies. It would be better if those who were the most interested did so instead."
Calanthra playfully twirls a finger through her hair. "Well. My daughters are all beautiful. Perhaps you should make mention that the fairies are... aggressively interested in copulation?"
"COUGH COUGH!" Jason wheezes, taking a step back as he asses her bold choice of words. "Yeah! Uh, I can probably- I'll let everyone know about that too. Obviously!"
Calanthra chuckles. "Such a cute boy. Well, it seems I've accomplished what I wanted. Let's return for now. You can always pay Ripspace a visit later."
"I will." Jason says, nodding seriously. "Waypoint."
Calanthra raises an eyebrow. "You think you can return here without a Ruler's power?"
"Won't know unless I try." Jason smiles back.
...
Not long after, Jason and Calanthra emerge back into Realspace. He shivers as he feels the Eye of Yredelemnul fixating on him from behind, but Calanthra quickly reactivates the Formation of Light, sending the sliver of a Ruler back to the shadows so it can no longer interact with the physical world.
"You know, Jason." Calanthra says. "You are a Candidate. You have the capability to become a Ruler someday."
"I am?" Jason asks, before thinking back to a conversation in the past. "Oh yeah, someone did mention that to me before. But... eh. I don't know. Becoming a Ruler sounds awful."
"Awful?" Calanthra asks. "How so?"
"It seems... lonely." Jason says, his voice softening. He looks at the space between the four statues, where Yredelemnul's Eye has disappeared. "Imagine all your loved ones dying, but you're stuck behind, living through the end of an Eternity, which takes trillions of years before Heat Death finally eradicates everything. Then comes the next Eternity, where you can remake your species again... but it won't be the same. Even if you remake your loved ones, it won't really be them."
Jason lowers and shakes his head. "That sort of life doesn't suit me."
"I understand why you'd think that way." Calanthra says. "In fact, you are suffering from the same affliction that plagues all Candidates who began their Existences as Biologicals. We have too many ties to the mortal world, so the majority of Biologicals who ascend to the rank of Ruler... fall to their non-biological opponents."
"As for the things which are not biological..." Calanthra says, looking at Jason with disgust. "You should already know what they are."
"Highly evolved Artificial Intelligences?" Jason guesses.
"That's right." Calanthra affirms. "There are several tiers of power a superintelligence can possess. The Volgrim have taken great care to prevent anything above a Beta Core from forming in the Milky Way, but once, a long time ago... they made a huge mess by accidentally creating the Milky Way's first Alpha Core Synthmind."
Calanthra chuckles. "The stupid fools didn't only create an Alpha Core, they gave it autonomy in the hopes it would be able to stop the wars between their factions. They built indestructible bipedal bodies for its splintered intelligences, and called them... Sentinels. Luckily, they were able to defeat the Alpha Core before it ascended further, but countless other biological species have failed at that juncture, creating an Alpha Core that ultimately devoured the full power of their galaxy for itself."
A chill trickles down Jason's spine. "You're saying the vast majority of Rulers are actually Alpha Core AIs? AIs that control entire galaxies?!"
"No, Jason." Calanthra counters. "Alpha Cores can defeat advanced civilizations. But there is one Existence higher than an Alpha Core, a tier that can only be reached once it has swallowed the power of a galaxy."
"That would be an Omega Core. a sentient artificial intelligence that has become Ruler over one or more galaxies. And in Akasha's game, more than 90% of all Rulers are estimated to be these superior lifeforms."
"It is for that reason that these highly adaptable entities are known as The Evolved."

"Hell yeah, I wanna go exploring." Jason says to Calanthra with a smile. "How do we navigate around Ripspace though? Traveling to other galaxies is going to take billions of years, right? Surely, there's a shortcut."
"Ripspace is not as it seems." Calanthra explains, gesturing grandly to the epic sight before them. "It is a connection between the past and the present; the near and far. The further away or the further back you want to travel, the higher the price you will have to pay."
Jason's smile vanishes. "Wait... you can use Ripspace to travel back in time?!"
"No." Calanthra clarifies. "Time is linear. We cannot travel through it. Some can slow it down or speed it up. A rare few can even pause it for a short while. But moving forward and backward is impossible. Countless have attempted to do so over the eons, but all have failed."
She looks at Jason meaningfully. "Many Rulers would wipe out galaxies if it might let them obtain such a power. The fact they still haven't proves it is impossible."
Jason nods slowly. "I won't lie. I have a lot of regrets. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and save my daughter from dying."
"Everyone has regrets." Calanthra muses, looking off into the distance. "I have plenty, myself. But it's better this way. There would be pandemonium if time travel ever became possible."
She pauses before continuing with her explanation. "While we cannot go back in time, we can look back into time. Pinpointing exact moments in history is difficult, to say the least, but it is possible to use Ripspace to search for key moments in intergalactic history."
"So it's like a massive seer-stone." Jason muses aloud. "But wait, didn't you imply earlier that you used Ripspace to travel to the Milky Way from Andromeda? How does it allow you to jump between galaxies? Are other species using Ripspace for intergalactic travel?"
"You can indeed use Ripspace to travel to distant reaches of space." Calanthra explains. "But... you have to pay a certain price. Akasha's Barriers still protect every galaxy. Cosmics cannot travel between them easily. Mortals can, but the price we must pay is unimaginably steep. That is also the reason my mother perished not long after arriving in the Milky Way and giving birth to me."
The Fairy Monarch sighs softly.
"My people used the power of Ripspace to travel to several other galaxies. We were fortunate that the Creator had died, allowing us to take up residence here in secret, but the Angels, Titans, and Dragons were still a threat we could not overlook. Later, the Volgrim rose up too, and that was something that worried us for a while. Particularly when their Sentinels began to rapaciously erase the lives of innumerable Sentients."
She waves her hand. "Ultimately, very few galaxies didn't have a Ruler in power. Traveling to one that did meant flipping a coin and praying our people could avoid their gaze. Sadly, time has shown me that we were likely unsuccessful. I have lost contact with all my sisters across the cosmos."
The image of innumerable galaxies floating in the distance changes before Jason's eyes. Calanthra manipulates some unseen power, causing herself and Jason to suddenly materialize directly in front of a beautiful spiral galaxy.
"This is our Milky Way." Calanthra explains, waving her hand to conjure another, far bigger galaxy beside it. "And this is Andromeda."
"Is it just me or does Andromeda seem... brighter?" Jason asks.
"Andromeda contains far more interstellar particles, cosmic energy, and latent magical power than the Milky Way." Calanthra says. "Of course, in the ancient past, it had even more than it does now, but such is the way of entropy and Chaos."
Jason nods. "How exactly do galaxies lose power over time? Doesn't this feel self-defeating in a way?"
"Every Ruler enters the Unending War with a strategy." Calanthra says, motioning with her hands to disperse the galaxies and reveal images of ghostly creatures, some standing on two legs, some on four, and plenty that appear as mere blobs of energy. "I cannot pretend to know the thoughts of such high and mighty beings, especially as I am a mere mortal myself. Even so, I can definitively state that there are Rulers who seek to put as much galactic energy into their initial creations as possible, while others wish to adopt a more energy-efficient growth-model."
She pokes her finger against Jason's chest. "Take the angels and humans, for instance. The Creator poured the vast majority of his power into creating a galaxy full of Apex Cosmics. At their peak, the angels as a whole commanded enough power to flatten other galaxies. But what did they do instead? They fought with one another, killing themselves due to sheer boredom, if not outright ego."
"I see." Jason says, brushing Calanthra's finger away. "So the Creator dumped all the Milky Way's energy into the angels. I take it this is uncommon among Rulers?"
"Of course. It's a wasteful strategy and usually loses Rulers the War for that Eternity." Calanthra says dismissively. "The Timeless used a different strategy. She created the fairies as mere mortals that evolved over time, gaining greater and greater power through their own efforts. This meant that instead of devouring Andromeda's abundant Cosmic energy, they could slowly sap off its excess over time. For you see, the more energy a galaxy has, the more it can produce. If you ration it long enough, you can reap more of it across the duration of an Eternity."
"That makes sense." Jason concludes. "It's like a Rush build in an RTS versus an Economy build. You sacrifice long-term gains in exchange for short-term power. The problem is, with Akasha's Barriers preventing Rulers from attacking their enemies straight away, a Rush build is dumb because you're just wasting your resources and sacrificing Cosmic energy when you'll actually need it."
Calanthra blinks twice. She looks at Jason with a strange expression, then turns away for a moment, trying to understand the strange terms he's used. They mostly make sense, but some of them are a little...
She shakes her head and returns to the topic at hand. "Right. Rush strategy versus Economy. Of... course. Well, in any case, there is one advantage toward the first strategy. If you drain all the energy from your galaxy, it becomes less appealing for other Rulers to attack. Because Andromeda was so large and still filled with Cosmic power even billions of years after the Expansion Era, it stoked the hunger of the Dark Ones. Meanwhile, the Milky Way only needs to deal with the Plague, which is threatening for mortals, but manageable for Cosmics. In that respect, we've gotten off much luckier."
"I get the bigger picture now." Jason says with a nod. He turns to look back at the cosmos before him. "So, what about all this? Are we gonna go exploring, or what?"
"In order to explore the universe presented here, we would need to make sacrifices we cannot afford. I think you would find the price most disagreeable. But there is something we can explore freely..."
She waves her hand, and instantly, the brilliant and beautiful cosmic view of the universe vanishes.
In its place, Jason and Calanthra suddenly appear inside a dead, barren wasteland. Brown and grey dirt rises up in huge dunes stretching off into the distance. Fallen towers made of gold and stone lay on their sides, or stick into the ground, buried nearly up to their tops as they point diagonally toward the sky.
And speaking of the sky, it glows faintly grey, as if some weak, pale imitation of a star were trying to shine through a thin atmosphere clouded by dust and grime. The very air itself smells of sulfur and toxins, making Jason's nose curl up when he takes a breath.
"Ugh... what the hell? Where are we now?" Jason asks, as he turns and looks around at the dead world surrounding him.
"An Ancient Domain." Calanthra says softly. "A remnant of a dead universe. All life stripped away. All hope lost. Septillions of different Sentient species, gone. Their mortals, their Cosmics, reduced to dust by the Contraction."
The Wordsmith frowns. "This Ancient Domain represents a dead universe? But how can that be possible? If the Heat Death played out and all the galaxies faded to cosmic dust, then there already wouldn't be anything left. And then, if the entire universe collapsed into a singularity before exploding again, there definitely wouldn't be anything left behind resembling physical matter."
"You perceive reality through just three dimensions." Calanthra intones. "Time and space can be considered two dimensions. Cosmic Power is another dimension. I must admit I do not understand how Ancient Domains have continued to exist across countless Eternities, and I don't know how they retain a vaguely familiar form... but I can assure you that in spite of bending logic itself, they do exist and they can provide tangible benefits to those dedicated to exploring them."
"You've been exploring them, then?" Jason asks, turning away from the dead world to scrutinize Calanthra's phantasmal image.
"Me, a little. But often, I dispatch my descendants to scour these Ancient Domains for things of value. It may surprise you, but there are powerful artifacts, vengeful spirits, and all manner of other inter-dimensional horrors lurking within these so-called dead-lands."
Calanthra pauses. She shifts her posture to look at Jason deeply.
"And that is why I've brought you here, Jason. It's time for me to get down to the crux of the matter and breach the subject that I find most important."
He nods. "I'm listening."
"It's like this." Calanthra explains. "The Ancient Domains are unfathomably broad. Think of how large a universe is. Think of how many universes have existed. Think of how much space my people have yet to explore."
She pauses.
"The gains we have received have made my people stronger than you would expect. Among those gains are Yredelemnul's Eye and other leftover remnants of power that many dead ancient Rulers lost when their Existences became forfeit. While their tangible Existences may have perished, their spirits sometimes live on in these broad, unending dead universes..."
"That's why you approached me." Jason says, while crossing his arms and leaning on the ball of his heel. "You said you wanted an alliance with humanity. You... want humans to help you explore the Ancient Domains?"
"Trust is hard to come by among mortals, Cosmics, and Rulers." Calanthra says simply. "I never would have considered allying with the humans before, but you have shown me the broadness of your mind during the debate against your clone and the commander of your military. To some, you certainly appear naive, but to me I see an opportunity I would be foolish to ignore."
She continues. "The Fairies cannot reproduce efficiently. Every fairy we send into the Ancient Domain is one less fairy we have among our Empire. We already have a difficult time replenishing our numbers through the remaining Male Fairies, but do you think it is easy for us to reproduce with other species?"
Jason slowly shakes his head. "Blinker and Kar's children were all crocodiles, not fairies. From that, I can only imagine that most of the time, your mating attempts do not create more of yourselves, but instead more non-fairy children."
"That's exactly correct." Calanthra replies. "But that all changed recently when I found out one of your human males somehow spontaneously altered his genetic profile to become a fairy. There is no doubt about it; Samuel Baker harnesses all the capability to reproduce that you humans do, as well as the trueborn powers of any male fairy."
"So... are you seeking a marriage alliance with Samuel Baker?" Jason asks, scratching his head in confusion. "You could just ask him yourself, you know?"
"This is not about one man." Calanthra retorts. "Samuel Baker, if he were to join our ranks, would certainly help us stave off extinction for a while longer. But that is hardly worth all this melodrama and me taking you to the Ancient Domain in person..."
Jason's eyes widen in realization. "I see! You... you're thinking that if my magic could make one male fairy, I could surely make another, and another..."
"Yes, precisely." Calanthra says, revealing a beautiful smile. "Additionally, if humans were to assist us in scouring these Ancient Domains, we could make great gains together. There is plenty of room for another species to join ours in locating powerful artifacts and other items capable of Uplifting us."
"You want to become Cosmics still." Jason muses. "You haven't resigned yourselves to your current fate."
"Quite the opposite." Calanthra says. "The curse placed upon us is unbreakable by those beneath the realm of Ruler. As I said before, the fairies have lost this Eternity's war. However, while we cannot Ascend any longer, that does not mean the humans are subject to the same limitation. If we could groom a human into becoming the Milky Way's Ruler, we could finally break free of our shackles by virtue of having a powerful ally."
She pauses, looking meaningfully at the Wordsmith.
"If the Demons or the Volgrim were to become our Ruler, we would not enjoy such a benefit. At best, we would only maintain the status quo, and at worst, they might eradicate us out of fear of having an unsightly tumor in their midst."
"Haha." Jason laughs. "So you brought me here to show your sincerity. I get it. Well, I'm definitely not opposed to helping you. Blinker is my good friend. If she were to ask me, I'd definitely say yes to just about any request."
Jason turns away. He walks a few feet off to the side and pauses, standing to gaze out at the Ancient Domain and its endlessly rolling plains which stretches off into the infinite distance...
"Here's what I can do." Jason says. "My people are already working on laying out the options for humanity and where our fellow men and women will depart over the next few weeks. Some will travel to Maiura. Some will go to Sharmur. Some will stay on Tarus II. It's no trouble at all to put Pixiv on the list, especially as I was already planning to do that. I even have some other places I'd like to include, too..."
"Such as Camael's Cube?" Calanthra asks with a smile. "Or do you perhaps mean Chrona and Hope's Hall of Heroes?"
Jason nearly jumps out of his skin. He whirls around to look at Calanthra with shock in his eyes. "What?! How do you know about Chrona? How do you also know about where Hope has been hiding?? I don't even know that much!"
"For those who are talented in magic, it is possible to see through many lies and deceptions." Calanthra says calmly, unfazed by the alarm on Jason's face. "Your Spynet Sphere isn't so different from the many options I have at my disposal. I have many means to keep an eye on the galaxy. And while Diablo does not know exactly where or what Chrona is, he certainly knows of its general existence."
Her smile turns cold. "I would advise you not to take Unarin lightly either, Wordsmith. That ancient creature is more capable than you can imagine. He is hiding a great many secrets from the galaxy... secrets he does not know that I am aware of. If he were to learn of the true extent of my information web, I fear that he would dispatch a handful of High Psions to eliminate the fairy species tomorrow."
Calanthra's words truly rock Jason to his core. All along, he assumed the precautions he put on Chrona, precautions that fooled even Hope, would make his hidden dimension impossible to detect.
But how could he be so naive?
As the daughter of an Apex Cosmic, Calanthra must have her means, and that likely means Unarin and Diablo aren't too far behind either.
"Shit." Jason curses, lowering his head as a flicker of anger smolders in his heart. "I was too complacent. Chrona isn't secure, which means it's only a matter of time before more Cosmics learn of its existence. How long before they can find its exact location and invade it?"
"Calm yourself, child." Calanthra says soothingly. "The situation is not that dire. After all, Chrona still exists within a highly accelerated timespace. Any biological entity that wishes to travel there could suffer severe after-effects. Furthermore, the entities born inside will be too adapted to living within a higher dimension, so they won't pose much threat to the creatures of realspace."
She waves her hand. "Let's move on, Jason. I want to discuss other matters before dying of old age."
The Wordsmith cools himself off. He inhales deeply, then returns his attention to her.
"Alright. What next, then?"
"Fairies are not the only Sentients capable of entering Ancient Domains." Calanthra explains. "There are others who rarely appear inside here. That is why exploring these domains can be dangerous. The good news is that Cosmics have little need to enter these barren lands, as most of the heritages, treasures, and other such gains you might find inside are only useful to mortals. There are exceptions, but they are so rare as to be a needle found within ten million haystacks. A waste of effort better spent simply progressing one's Cosmic power the ordinary way."
"So what you're saying is, when you send fairies into an Ancient Domain, they can die as a result of crossing paths with Sentients from other galaxies." Jason concludes. "But if you had an army of humans to enter with you, your people would be a lot safer."
"Safety in numbers, yes. And you humans are... uniquely advantaged in Ancient Domain exploration." Calanthra says mysteriously. "Before that, though... do you know what the Power of Imagination is, Wordsmith?"
Jason raises an eyebrow. "Imagination? Like the mental ability to visualize stuff in your head? Yeah. It's not that complicated to understand."
"Ah, that's where you're wrong." Calanthra chides gently. "Imagination is the key to magical power. Imagination, Conception, Visualization, these are all key capabilities powerful maguses and sorcerors use to uplift their capabilities! And as it turns out, most Sentients are actually quite terrible at conceptualizing thoughts into imagery."
She gestures grandly. "Just take the Volgrim! You may think they are a powerful Sentient species, but in fact the Volgrim have terrible imaginations. They are stodgy, dull, and lack a great deal of creativity. All the gains their Technopaths make through technology are developed via brute force. They slowly improve their technological prowess by minute fractions over long periods of time, eventually resulting in a large and cohesive buildup."
"At the same time, the Psions Uplift themselves through meditation and sitting motionless for thousands of years at a time. Can a species capable of such incredible feats of drudgery also possess limitless imagination? I think not."
"Maybe the reason they're able to sit still for so long is because they live in their imagination?" Jason posits. "In which case their power of imagination should be quite formidable, right?"
"Possible, but unlikely." Calanthra says with a wave of her hand. "Never mind that. The point I'm trying to make is that humans have an extremely high affinity for magic. If your people were to ally with mine, we could teach you our ways. You could help us through your Wordsmithing and superior genetics, creating more fairies and humans alike. This would create a recursive cycle that would continually bolster both our species to greater and greater heights!"
She lowers her voice back to normal. "An alliance with humanity would have other benefits. You humans are equally adept in technology and magic both. You are versatile, capable of learning any skill provided you have time to devote to your studies. The bursts of inspiration you receive also allow you to make large jumps in capability as well, which could mean that in a relatively short period, you might even be capable of challenging the Volgrim."
Jason nods. "That does sound tempting, Calanthra. I'm willing to help you, but I won't demand my people join the fairies. It would be better if those who were the most interested did so instead."
Calanthra playfully twirls a finger through her hair. "Well. My daughters are all beautiful. Perhaps you should make mention that the fairies are... aggressively interested in copulation?"
"COUGH COUGH!" Jason wheezes, taking a step back as he asses her bold choice of words. "Yeah! Uh, I can probably- I'll let everyone know about that too. Obviously!"
Calanthra chuckles. "Such a cute boy. Well, it seems I've accomplished what I wanted. Let's return for now. You can always pay Ripspace a visit later."
"I will." Jason says, nodding seriously. "Waypoint."
Calanthra raises an eyebrow. "You think you can return here without a Ruler's power?"
"Won't know unless I try." Jason smiles back.
...
Not long after, Jason and Calanthra emerge back into Realspace. He shivers as he feels the Eye of Yredelemnul fixating on him from behind, but Calanthra quickly reactivates the Formation of Light, sending the sliver of a Ruler back to the shadows so it can no longer interact with the physical world.
"You know, Jason." Calanthra says. "You are a Candidate. You have the capability to become a Ruler someday."
"I am?" Jason asks, before thinking back to a conversation in the past. "Oh yeah, someone did mention that to me before. But... eh. I don't know. Becoming a Ruler sounds awful."
"Awful?" Calanthra asks. "How so?"
"It seems... lonely." Jason says, his voice softening. He looks at the space between the four statues, where Yredelemnul's Eye has disappeared. "Imagine all your loved ones dying, but you're stuck behind, living through the end of an Eternity, which takes trillions of years before Heat Death finally eradicates everything. Then comes the next Eternity, where you can remake your species again... but it won't be the same. Even if you remake your loved ones, it won't really be them."
Jason lowers and shakes his head. "That sort of life doesn't suit me."
"I understand why you'd think that way." Calanthra says. "In fact, you are suffering from the same affliction that plagues all Candidates who began their Existences as Biologicals. We have too many ties to the mortal world, so the majority of Biologicals who ascend to the rank of Ruler... fall to their non-biological opponents."
"As for the things which are not biological..." Calanthra says, looking at Jason with disgust. "You should already know what they are."
"Highly evolved Artificial Intelligences?" Jason guesses.
"That's right." Calanthra affirms. "There are several tiers of power a superintelligence can possess. The Volgrim have taken great care to prevent anything above a Beta Core from forming in the Milky Way, but once, a long time ago... they made a huge mess by accidentally creating the Milky Way's first Alpha Core Synthmind."
Calanthra chuckles. "The stupid fools didn't only create an Alpha Core, they gave it autonomy in the hopes it would be able to stop the wars between their factions. They built indestructible bipedal bodies for its splintered intelligences, and called them... Sentinels. Luckily, they were able to defeat the Alpha Core before it ascended further, but countless other biological species have failed at that juncture, creating an Alpha Core that ultimately devoured the full power of their galaxy for itself."
A chill trickles down Jason's spine. "You're saying the vast majority of Rulers are actually Alpha Core AIs? AIs that control entire galaxies?!"
"No, Jason." Calanthra counters. "Alpha Cores can defeat advanced civilizations. But there is one Existence higher than an Alpha Core, a tier that can only be reached once it has swallowed the power of a galaxy."
"That would be an Omega Core. a sentient artificial intelligence that has become Ruler over one or more galaxies. And in Akasha's game, more than 90% of all Rulers are estimated to be these superior lifeforms."
"It is for that reason that these highly adaptable entities are known as The Evolved."

A lot of people use this as an elimination diet. This is the place to post questions about that.
Please read the Getting Started here before posting -- https://www.reddit.com/carnivore/wiki/faq/#wiki_getting_started
[there's a more extensive FAQ at zerocarb, https://www.reddit.com/zerocarb/wiki/faq/ but for a brief, 3 week - 3 month trial, that's probably more than you want to know :D ]
it may be helpful to include other foods -- eggs, dairy -- during the first week or two of transition.
when you are ready, do a trial with fatty meat only, since eggs and dairy are common allergens/intolerances.
How long to do the trial -- depends how long to get a baseline. Some notice an improvement in a matter of days, most within a few weeks. There are some who need longer, particularly difficult problems like UC or Crohn's.
It takes effort to learn how to do this diet for a stretch longer than a few weeks, but it can be useful to learn because it's like riding a bicycle, you can get right back to it if you ever need it to help deal with a flare up.
Quick explainer for why this diet is hard to transition into -- when you remove all carbohydrate, you'll develop specific preferences for the types of meat and fat and the fat ratio and you'll need to learn what they are by trying things. With experience, you'll learn how to read your body's cues, initially it's a question of trial and error. Try different meats, cuts, sources of fat.
Will it be a problem for your microbiome?
Nope. The microbiome adjusts quickly to what is being eaten, starting with the first meal.
People go back and forth on zerocarb all the time -- it was a protocol for bodybuilding without steroids, developed by Vince Gironda and is still in use by some folks for the same purpose. (Google around his use of diets, it was impressive what he achieved and taught others. Steak and eggs were used for the cutting phase, for getting lean)
For people with health conditions, who are intolerant to some foods, they find removing them completely gives them more leeway for exceptions later on.
Although, when you first find your reactions, the initial reintroduction will probably be pretty bad... "Oh, that's what was causing that joint pain, arrggggh!"
For allergies, they don't change. It's the intolerances which you can develop more resilience for.
If the food you have an intolerance to is something you'd like to include, try again every 3 - 12 months, to see if your reaction has lessened.
(Allergies and intolerances can have similar reactions -- skin conditions, joint pain, GI problems, or headaches, etc -- the difference is that an allergy only requires a trace.
Intolerances require a larger exposure, a larger amount of the food, or repeated exposure.)
Good luck with your trial --
This diet can save years of excluding and reintroducing one food at a time to try to find the culprit!

I’m really lost for words as I type this but I’ll try and keep it brief. My husband and I had a secret Nikkah where his family was not aware or present as they were against him marrying me and were trying to force him into a cousin marriage (more details on previous post). We got married in February and he left shortly after for 2 months to go America to visit family. It was supposed to be 2 weeks and he cancelled his return after we had an argument and delayed his return for 2 months. When he came back we were supposed to tell his family and move out but he delayed this because of a family emergency. Time went on from August until November and we finally found a place and I had said he has to move out by the end of the year because I couldn’t keep waiting. I moved out once everything was finalised in December and I put the whole flat together myself because he was really immersed with family matters and didn’t have the time to help out. He then didn’t end up moving out till February because his family keep trying to convince him to divorce me once he told them about our marriage, so I was alone for about 6 weeks in the flat. We lived together for 2 weeks before he had to go Pakistan with his mother because his grandad became really unwell. They booked him a one way ticket with the intention of keeping him there indefinitely (in my opinion to cause issues with us) but we booked him a return after 2 weeks and his mother stayed. He promised me at this time he will never leave to go away from me again after he saw the way it affected me and my mental health, he said that if he had to he would take me with him if necessary. He came back just in time for Ramadan because this was our first Ramadan living together and I really wanted him to prioritise me for that time. He currently doesn’t have a job but has been applying for jobs since the time he moved in, I currently take care of bills/rent etc for that reason. I work 12 hour shifts - 4 days on, 4 days off but I changed all my shifts around during Ramadan, working 8 hours with no breaks (05:00-13:00) each day to ensure I was there for each Iftar and Suhoor with him. I’d come home from work and spend time with him before cooking Iftar for us in the evening. He would also visit his family during this time to open fasts with them but they continued to slander me and encourage divorce between us. This is ongoing till this day.
I’m writing this with a heavy heart because I’m feeling a bigger rift between us than ever before. He’s told me he’s going to be going Pakistan again because his parents keep asking this of him. He states his mother and aunt are alone in Pakistan without a male figure and that they need someone there. They have been there by themselves for almost a month now I believe. He’s also been away from me to cover for his family business after a passing in the family for the last week and a half so in addition to this he’s now going to be going away for a minimum of 2+ weeks. He has the option of commuting from our flat to the shop but it would take slightly longer and I suggested he go to his parents so he can spend time with his siblings/nieces to try and repair the relationship and because I know he misses them a lot.
I went into really severe depression when he left so soon after our marriage and was away for two months and since that time I’ve had a huge insecurity about him being away because I don’t trust that he will put me first and come back in good time. In this situation now I’ve said I’m firm on him not going Pakistan because he only went recently and he has a brother at home who is unmarried that can go if it is imperative. His dad went Pakistan a week ago and returned yesterday but didn’t stay with his mum either. I feel extremely alone and isolated, none of my siblings live close to me and I don’t have a strong relationship with my parents. Being away from him is so difficult for me, I feel so uncomfortable in our home alone and further to that I just feel so alone. I feel like he doesn’t understand or comprehend the responsibilities of a husband if he’s so comfortable leaving me alone so often. I am constantly extending olive branches to his family to try and build a relationship with them but they’ll always shut it down and continue to advocate for divorce, his mother especially. He admitted that he thinks previously when he went to Pakistan that part of the reason they tried to keep him there was to create distance between us but if he knows that then why does he not see the impact this will have on our marriage? I’m starting to lose the person I once was. I feel so unhappy and taken for granted. I am constantly trying to do things for him to make him feel special or happy because I know things have been difficult for his family. I dress up for him and surprise him, I booked us a holiday away for his birthday/our anniversary. I cook and clean around the house despite working full time. I feel so heartbroken. He knows how much this affects me but he puts me through it anyway. I love him but I don’t know how long I can keep feeling like I’m in a one sided marriage. I would always consider him and prioritise him and make rational decisions but I don’t think he can do the same and I’m so lost.
I would appreciate any and all advice on this; sisters if you’ve experienced something similar, brothers if you can give insight on the train of thought?

Freshly back and awake after a twelve day stint for my first time there. I knew that I wanted to go in general, and while I didn't have a firm itinerary planned out, there was one main goal that I had in terms of sites within the country. The main video game that I play is Beatmania IIDX, and it has internal trophies which are represented as badges. Your profile allows you to assign up to five of them as visible when you start a new round, and there are badges to earn for playing at least one round in every prefecture in Japan, as well as every subregion. Getting the Kanto badge meant that I needed to play at least one round in Tokyo, Kanagawa, Saitama, Gunma, Tochigi, Ibaraki, and Chiba. After five days, I had that complete, and now I have a permanent record of this trip within the game itself. There was also a time-limited event to earn points in IIDX in order to exchange them for goods, such as a hat, or a towel, or a new account card and a poster, and I managed to get that taken care of in somewhat dramatic fashion. I did some other things too.
Primary general points
· Getting Suica set on the phone and using it was generally painless. There were only two times where I needed to summon the help of a resident JR employee to clear up an issue with the gate not reading the card for some reason.
· Most vocal interaction which I had was the opposite of painless, because I continuously kept trying to speak Japanese and failing, and most people would realize that I was completely failing at it and responded with English (some with full on sentences, others with just a few words). There were a few rare times that I was able to express my intent in Japanese, receive a response, understand the response, and reply as necessary, but that was rare. Once English was invoked, I would stay with it, because that's what they were expecting. I've been self-studying the language for more than twenty years in varying degrees of intensity, and while my reading comprehesion seemed sufficient enough for this trip, and while I didn't expect my speaking to be as good because I don't have any opportunity to practice speaking, I came away bitterly disappointed in my vocal and speaking comprehension in terms of my interaction with people there. Even within the trip I could at least overhear common chitchat better, but any time I needed to converse with someone for some reason, I usually needed to have things repeated several times and broken down before I finally realized what was being said.
· You are going to be asked about separately buying a bag with every non-food purchase. Accept or immediately present one that you are carrying to indicate how your purchase shall be bagged.
· I never once had my passport requested for presentation.
· Only once did a person volutnarily reach out to address me, and it was just to ask me where I was from in English. Otherwise, everyone left me alone the entire time.
· Weather through the period was ideal. Mid to upper 70F/25C range and only a few days where it was rainy, and even then it wasn't a downpour. A while ago I personally resolved to only wear suits in public and I purchased a new pair of Mephisto shoes after hearing reports of the extensive walking causing problems for traveller's feet and shoes. My attire help up well; there were only a few times that I needed to avoid sunlight to not get too hot, and I have no issues to report from the shoes.
· I only got X'd out of a restaurant one time, and I think it's only because I wandered into it before it was ready for service. Otherwise, I never once waited in line for food, I never once went to restaurant more than once, and all food was acceptably priced for the portion and excellent for the quality.
For these per-day recounts, I wrote them contemporaneously at the end of each day, so you'll need to forgive me for some writing being in present tense and other writing being in past tense.
Day 1 - Travel, Sugamo, Ikebukuro
Non stop flight from Chicago OHare to Haneda. 12 hours. Good thing I usually don't watch movies, because that just means that all I needed to do was binge a few to make the trip go by.
Pre-trip research led me to choose APA Sugamo as my home base for the visit, and I think that it was a very fortuitious choice. I'll have more to say about it later.
Some awkward encounters happened right away upon checking in here. I was at the nearby Family Mart to buy some things and I didn’t catch that he was making sure I wanted a bag until he repeated it five times. Yes, I’ll take it. Before getting there I was coming down to ground level after checking into my room, and when that person saw that I would have been the only other person going down to the ground, they ducked right back out. I was warned on both of these kinds of things happening, so I guess it’s good to have that immediately out of the way. It would turn out that people deliberately avoiding me was rare throughout the trip.
Despite not sleeping on the trip, I had freshly arrived and had no sense of being tired, so once I had my stuff down, I went off to Ikebukuro right away. No picture or video truly conveys how crowded these areas can get. It can only be experienced in person to be understood.
I soon found Round One Ikebukruo and went right in. So dense and loud. It’s entirely alien to me to see no less than ten IIDX machines in operation and all of them in use. I dumped the money into random tickets, as I foresaw doing, but now I have to wonder if that was the right thing to do, or if it’s tied to that location. I guess I’ll find out.
The forecast is for rain so I need to be in a hurry to figure out where I’m going to go. There might be only one day left for me to get my time limited toys.
Day 2 - Kawasaki, Kanagawa - Utsunomiya, Tochigi - Oomiya, Saitama
My body decided that it only needed four hours of sleep this morning. Without doing more research, I somehow decided to assume that more of the Round One locations were close to 24 hours of operation much like Ikebukuro. Answer: no. I hopped on the train early and went to Shibuya first, but it was very quiet, so I decided to get some of the travels out of the way today and headed south to Kawasaki. I still needed to dawdle for a while until Silk Hat opened at 900AM, and when I finally was able to get inside, I was only able to verify that their store had several allotments of the campaign goods and all allotments were out. Played one round on a monitor that was surprisingly blurry, and I don’t know why that would be the case with a lightning model, but it was, so that was enough.
After doing all of that, I resolved to try to go to Chiba and Ibaraki afterwards. I figured that with Kanagawa and Tokyo likely all out, going to the outskirts would make more sense. However, there was an injury on one of the rails that threw everything off normal, and the train I found myself riding was bound for Utsunomiya instead. Seeing as how I was going to go there eventually, I rolled with it.
It doesn’t take too long to move away from Tokyo metropolitan area before you encounter more forest like areas and rice paddy fields. Halfway through the trip I noticed that two older women suddenly hopped off while the train was waiting to go to the next stop, and I followed them when I realized they found the express line. Utsunomiya has a substantial size to its area and buildings but it was very quiet on the streets there in midday. Walked a mile to Sega GIGO, found that they didn’t even have the goods tracker up. All out. Interesting buliding for it having several neon signs, all vintage and authentic at that. Getting to there from the south meant cutting through Saitama, so I knew I had enough time to make one last attempt there. Research shown two stores being near Oomiya station, so that’s where I ended up. Taito Station was immediately visible upon exit, and they have two IIDX machines specifically with 20 gram springs, which is closer to my home setup and that much lighter than standard 50 gram springs. The final hour drew near and I made one last visit to that city’s Round One. Unlike nearly every other place I went to so far, it only had one IIDX machine. However, and maybe because of that, their goods listing didn’t show everything as out. One painful language exchange later, I was able to discern that what I wanted was available. When you spend more than 3000 yen in a single credit, the game wants to verify if you really want to proceed. It does it again at 6000 and 9000. Yes, I really do. But, having made that money dump I was able to get my hands on the e-amuse card and poster with fifteen minutes left before the deadline. Mission complete. By this point in the day it was exceedingly difficult to even look at the screen so I was ready to come home, but not before getting some goods at the Oomiya Book Off and redeeming what I could for points at Round One Ikebukuro. By the end of the day the only thing that I could tolerate doing was to buy some chicken and nigiri from the nearby train station. Good enough. At that point in the day my body felt like it wants to rock back and forth after all the train riding done today. But, it ended up being worthwhile after all.
One nostalgic feeling I had the most strongly in the day was at the Utsunomiya location where the smell of it triggered past buried memories of yesteryear. I think I want to attribute it to the stronger second hand cigarette smell but I’m not sure - all the same I felt its presence strongly there. Also, I don’t see Oomiya (or really Saitama itself) mentioned as a fun place to go, but it might serve as an acceptable alternative to Ikebukuro, only not as massive in scale of human quantity. Depending on how the trip goes in total I may end up back there for IIDX playing, at least if I don’t find any other place that has 20G springs.
Day 3 - Akihabara
With the travels out of the way, it was time to keep things more regionalized and stick to one area, and there is shopping that needs to be done, so it was off to Akihabara and to see how much of other posted tales hold true. The answer is that it is a lot of it. Kotobukiya can stand to open sooner than noon. Super Potato is indeed priced for a market which wants to snap up anything cheap - I at least found Xi for under 500 and felt that it would have been a bit silly to buy only that, but it didn’t make spending 2000 on one single issue of Arcadia any better. I had no idea that Hey Arcade was right next to both of them; while it was assuredly nice to be there and see the row of Cave shooters among everything else, something got messed up with my registration of my new eamuse card with everything else, so that quickly added to my stress. Having to carry around a few hundred dollars worth of crap with every step didn’t help matters. At least I was able to help a person recover their lost phone by applying a bit of logic to the situation and deducing it to belong to the only person there who looked French, as it was on the Lock Screen. They were relieved, yes. Then, rain came, and it was more than I was anticipating, and I left the umbrella at the room, particularly since I knew I’d be shopping this day. It also turns out to have not mattered much, because I went to visit Bic Camera so that I could get myself a hair trimmer while here, and that turned into me finding a bunch of Kit Kats available, so that meant a second bag. The wind kicked out the rain and my umbrella. In trying to get as many gifts secured as possible, I found some gachapon, but it needed 100Y coins, and I didn’t need paper money in the trip yet. After fighting with maps, I found an ATM to get cash, and got the gachapon. I came home late with feeling rather crushed about the day in that I couldn’t take pictures very well with having to juggle weather and bagging considerations. There were some nice parts of the experience to be sure but between that and more gawking at Super Potato pricing ($135 for PS3 Caladrius? $6000 for Pulstar?) and seeing similar markups on other goods, I don’t think it’s unfair to say that there is a reputation that this area carries and the pricing is there to go with it.
Day 4 - Laundry Day. Shibuya, Harajuku, Shinjuku
I was so drained at the end of Day 3 that I fell asleep on the bed immediately after ending the night call, which meant that I woke up at 0200AM to a room that was fully lit. This meant that I needed to look up how to resolve my eamuse problem or else I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. I did both. Awake at 0800AM meant that I had time to do laundry while I figured out what to do with the rest of the day. This meant that I was able to get more of Sugamo in pictures, and it was nice to be able to walk among the actual residences, and do other things like come across a school as it was actually in session. With them being close by and all in succession, I figured to get Shibuya, Harajuku, and Shinjuku visited. It turns out to have been a good day for it, as the temperature was perfectly cool and no rain came, and the sun came out only for a little bit. Shibuya somehow doesn’t seem quite as large in scope in person but the crowds were definitely there, and it is much more hilly than I anticipated as well. After wandering around and not seeing any arcade for a bit, I came across a series of coffee and cookie shops and remained strong to not indulge. It was there while looking at a Disney store (which gets tourists to take pictures of it for some reason) that the song Alone Again came on through the nearby public speakers. What timing. It drove me to finally get a treat for myself, and the frozen latte (black sesame and houji) and croissant (dark chocolate filing) were certainly good, it ended up costing more than the dinner I’d have later this day. I found a seclusion with a garbage can to eat the food and not carry the trash around, then an arcade soon after, and it was time to determine if I could fix the problem. Just like an easy click, it was. New to trash. Old to new. Done. Why did it have to be this way. Harajuku came next, and the environment there was distinct. This one in particular felt like it was an extended carnival atmosphere with the single tight knit market street and emphasis on fashion. A conversation with a freelance artist in the subway actually went well enough that I didn’t feel dumb. The same sensation carried to Shinjuku as well, only it was more spread out. Kabuki street was interesting to see in person, and I didn’t get any unseemly vibes from the place. Maybe it’s different later at night. A return home at a reasonable time allowed me to go down Sugamo’s market street a bit; most of it was closed, but it was interesting to come across the few remaining stores that were open by 0800PM, and more so the one that wasn’t. Coming back to the hotel I found a 24 hour ramen shop with nobody inside. The chef didn’t want to speak and only pointed to the ordering kiosk when I addressed her. The food came through a slot in the obscured window. At least her thank you as I left was a bit more warm, and the food was certainly delicious. To match with the matcha dessert that I bought from Sugamo station, I swung by a 7Eleven to get a drink, and found a milk tea for cheaper than a vending machine. The overhead music in the store was an instrumental version of Alone Again.
Day 5. Ibaraki - Mount Tsukuba, Miraidaira. Kashiwa, Chiba. Akihabara 2.
Awake at 0500AM on my own and knowing the current forecast meant that my envisioned plan for the day was quickly realized. Reaching the Tsukuba Express starting point from Akihabara needs you to get very far down into the ground before getting out into sunlight. I was on the ride early enough to see schoolchildren going about their commute, some of them being no older than ten and going about it unaccompanied. The people of Tsukuba seemed to be particularly helpful and cheerful that day, even despite my Suica issues at the gate. I didn’t ask his name at the counter but the man at the service desk was eager to speak with me about my career and what I was doing there. One asked where I was from on the way up to the summit and another caught my cable car ticket on the way down. There had to have been a few of them who saw my doing this climb in my business attire and thinking me to be a complete idiot if not outright mocking them for doing it that way while they employed the use of dual walking sticks and the like. I know I read some reports of the home stretch being difficult, but it did get pretty close to being an actual rock climb instead of a trail hike for that part of it. A quick stop to Miraidaira on the way back to get the Ibaraki play. The way the town center greets you upon leaving the rail gate struck me as incredible, as well as for how quiet it was. It was like walking onto a movie set. I did find the sweet shop after the play, and that was another painful interaction yet again. Oh well. Two quick stops down Tsukuba Express and one across from Tobu Urban Park line was enough to have a toe in Chiba, and I didn’t even need to leave the physical building of the train station to get to the basement level to find a machine for a play. Thank you, Kashiwa, you were great. Gunma is all that’s left. The descent from Tsukuba did take some earnest exertion, and after doing that the two stops, that put me back in Akihabara about when I anticipated; what I failed to anticipate is how much that place seems to drain on me. I think I just need to eat at an actual dinner time. Once I got back to Sugamo and had food it was a bit better, but while in Akihabara and being around that environment, and not finding things on a shopping list, I found myself just standing still and watching life pass me by. I hemmed and hawed a while for a maid girl’s hour of service for chitchat, but eventually I talked myself out of it because I just didn’t want potential trouble, just like her name. Komaru. I thought about doing this once just to say that I did, but I ultimately decided against it. You cannot go to this place with the expectation that you will find anything unless it is advertised and new. If you are looking for anything used, don’t count on it being there. You also cannot go there without having a strong resolve to not engage with the touts, because it becomes disheartening to see them do their job and blankly stare at the world when they're forced to stand out there and do nothing. Back to Sugamo to find a place that advertised Wagyu but the price they wanted was more than I wanted to spend. The ramen and seaweed & rice servings were fine, but they advertised endless drink and I didn’t receive that. All for $20? No, son. I did better than that elsewhere, I’ll know better now. Long day.
Day 6 - Tokyo Flea Market, Nakano Broadway, Ueno.
The weather couldn’t have been better for this weekend. I’ve read reports that the flea market held near the horse race track will be arbitrarily cancelled regardless of what is reported on the website, but my gut instinct told me that it would occur today, and it did. Turns out that a flea market is a flea market which is a flea market, no matter where it happens. Same allotment of clothes and stuff that few people really want to buy, although I was able to find myself some neckties at least. I probably overpaid based on what I saw later in the route, but that’s fine. They look nice. I settled on some shot glasses for a gift as well, but I’m surprised that I can’t ind something ornate that isn’t part of a sake set. Seated in the shade with a chocolate churro while rap music played in the background - it’s like I never left home. A woman came to sit across from me for the sake of sitting down; she was from Holland and today’s her last day in the country. Her husband came with food eventually. She had three weeks here and went to several places (allegedly, she didn’t list them out) and I asked her about Nakano Broadway. She didn’t make it there. It’s a good thing that I did - this is probably the kind of environment and market that people expect of Akihabara now, and maybe that’s how Aki was years ago, but it’s different from this. What’s more interesting is that Mandarake has a larger presence here than in Akihabara (so it seems to me), and their stores had floor after floor of any and every kind of pop culture product that’s been made in the past sixty years at least. Buttress that with extensive watch and jewelry stores and a slender arcade in the basement, and it’s a very well centralized microcosm of the country’s economy on the whole. I actually made a point to have dinner earlier than usual this time and found a place to serve some deep fried pork cuts served with rice and soup on the side. It was enough, and very well made. The day had not ended and my bag was heavy with several books purchased there, so I reported back to base briefly and decided to try visiting somewhere else, and settled on Ueno. Just as I arrived, a festival was underway where local teams of people made an elaborate show of carrying a home made shrine to a temple. Streets were officially blocked by police to allow the procession. In following the line I came up against makeshift food and amusement stands with the traditional toy gun shooting and goldfish catching. It appears that this is an official “start of summer” festival and I was able to watch it all happen in front of me. That was the good part of the day.
Day 7 - Tachikawa / Kunitachi. Shinjuku 2.
One of the games that I've never played is Beatmania III The Final. I've played some BM3 7th Mix years ago, but not The Final. I found a location that has one - World Game Circus in Tachikawa. In looking around that area before the trip, I saw that there was a nearby shinkansen museum, and not much else, so I figured that going to both places would make that walk worthwhile. Turns out that it wasn’t a museum in the proper sense of a dedicated building. Rather, it was a bullet train engine car on the side of a building that was unrelated, and that was it. A cute interaction happened here - when I approached the car, I heard some children running around inside, so I approached cautiously without knowing if I was encroaching upon someone else's alloted time or something. Once the children saw me, they gave a hearty irrashaimase as I entered, and the boy stamped a paper and presented it to me. Perfect. Despite it not being a typical musem, the card did have some interesting content, and it's good to see some kind of commemoration for their achievements and progression in that industry regardless. They have a lot to be proud about there. Off to WGC. Maps wasn’t lying about the walk taking twenty minutes. It's a good thing that I looked it up on streetview beforehand, because I otherwise would have walked right past it without knowing it was there. Then there it was, and there I confronted a past that I couldn’t visit again. Sure, I got to play BM3 The Final at last, but my timing was off, my hands were off, there wasn’t much I could do. Along with that I can say that I’ve played on a Beatmania II cabinet, and that was better than 5th Style at least. But that was it, that was all I could stand to do. It was right there and I couldn’t bear to put up with it more than a few rounds at best. Dream big, because only disappointment follows if your smaller dreams ever are fulfilled. I don’t know why finding IKEA back in Shinjuku was so difficult, but it took a while. I bought a bag, and then I bought a bag because the other bag was at the end of the register, which makes sense. I did feed myself before getting back to the Taito station to play some songs, but it still wasn’t good enough. All thumbs. Ended the day with laundry since the timing worked. Speaking of making dreams big, it’s time to cross another one off the list tomorrow. I can’t wait.
Day 8 - Takasaki, Gunma. Oomiya, Saitama 2.
It’s a good thing that I only needed to get to Ikebukuro to transfer over to the next stop, because that’s where that particular run ended for some reason. I wonder what was up. Speaking of things getting messed up on trains, I managed to find my way on a train that needed a separate ticket, which I didn't have. The conductor found me right away and had me disembark at Uraja for me to wait for the proper transfer. The weather forecast said there’d be rain, and the travel forecast said it would take two hours to get there, and neither lied. I feel like I had more people staring at me in Gunma than other places. I will say that I found the Takasaki station area to be rather charming, with the stores that it had inside and the emphasis on the music culture there. It’s one thing to offer a piano to the public to play, but it’s another to have a public willing to use it. This location had both. Having what was essentially a Bic Camera built into the facility was a nice touch too. The Leisure Land arcade was sandwiched between other floors that had its own offering of gaming stuff, so that was an unexpected bit of a fun thing to look through. The area was clean and sparsely populated, and it wasn’t picked clean of all matter of things that would normally get snapped up, so that was interesting. Finally, I made it over to the machine. They had separate fans for each location. I got the songs and then the medals came, and that’s that. Kantou Seiou. I would have stayed a bit longer but I wanted to have the medals show up right away, and my internet wasn’t cooperating, so that’s all I could do. I think there was an Internet cafe that I could have used in the facility, but I didn’t want to deal with an awkward conversation. I did get some Lawson on the way out, as well as some trinkets from the local Gunma-chan store as well as some mini croissants and some macademia cookie things. More vocal awkwardness. Omiya was one of the stops on the way back, and I found a place to serve omrice, so that’s another one off the list. No shoes allowed inside. The value wasn’t there but the service was good enough, as was the flavor. The machines with the 20G springs are indeed legit. Back home in time for some McDonalds, and that’s another food-checklist item marked off. Takoyaki mayo dipping sauce - somehow it’s both salty and sweet. While returning to the hotel, I did happen to encounter an argument amongst two teenaged locals where the guy ended up half-heartedly kicking the girl and getting her to cry. I wonder what their argument was about. I didn’t play hero, but someone else did so enough to prevent an escalation and called the police over.
Day 9 - Sugamo, Tokyo Sky Tree, Akihabara 3, Kanda
Up early enough to decide that I should at least visit the Sky Tree while I'm there just to say that I did, and that I should visit the Sugamo street market upon its open since it was right there in front of me. I'm glad to have done so. With everything open, this felt more like what one would think to expect from a flea market environment that's operated and supported by the local populace. Small stores were open both sides of the street that go on for many blocks, and some tents and tables were set up to sell second hand goods as well. I was able to find someone selling a US Morgan dollar and he wanted only 2000Y for it, so that was an easy buy. If I would have known better to anticipate this area, I wouldn't have felt compelled to buy kitchy tourist crap that is expected as gifts elsewhere. If you are looking for a place to idly shop around that doesn't get extremely crowded and has an authentic local feel to it, consider making a point to come here. Off to Sky Tree. Getting the combo ticket for the second deck was worth it just for the lack of crowds on the upper area. If you're going to come here, consider getting a phone selfie stick or something of the kind so that you can take pictures against the windows without the structure scaffolding obstructing your view. On the subject of shopping again, this might be another area to consider visiting just for the sake of the specialty stores to be found here, such as those for chopsticks or hairpins. To close out the day, my wife reminded me to look for something from the Square Enix cafe, so that meant swinging by Akihabara yet again. Since it is within a walkway, it was a bit of a pain to find this place even with using maps, but I eventually found it and got what she wanted to find. Played some IIDX at Game Panic, which was surprisingly small and the one machine that was avaialble to play had some 2P turntable issues, so that didn't last all that long. Dinner was at a nearby place that specalized in tofu, so that was a good ramen serving with that infused. For the evening, I wandered south to Kanda to get night pictures, and found it to feel pretty similar to Ueno.
Day 10 - Ginza, Tokyo, Kanda & Akihabara 4
Launrdry in the morning. I also wanted to say that I went to Ginza in my time here, and I didn't research anywhere to go to keep it a surprise. It was a bit warmer and sunnier than usual that day, and I stuck to the main road for most of the walk, so I can't say that I found too many points of the interest along the path that I walked starting from Yurakucho station and heading out that way. High class store for high class people, and that's too rich for my peasant blood. Similarly for Tokyo proper itself, I suppose I'd have to needed to wander far away from the Yamanote vicinity to find points of interest there, as I didn't encounter anything that was remarkably distinctive here in comparison to other areas that I have previously seen. Continuing north across Nihonbashi brought me to Kanda and eventually to Akihabara yet again, as if it was a magnet that pulled me inside every time. For the sake of trying a different place I chose to play some IIDX at the Leisure Land arcade there, and I'm glad to have done that, as those machines were probably in the best coniditon that I encountered within that area. Dinner was at Tenkaippin, which I didn't realize until after I placed the order was cash only. The clerk didn't request it beforehand but I voluntarily left my passport there to show that I would return, and promptly went to the same ATM that I had found days prior in order to get the cash to pay for the bill.
Day 11 - Haneda T3, Nishi Nippori, Nippori, Uguisuidani, Otsuka, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ikebukruo, home.
The end. I resolved to take the subway over to Haneda today to get the one luggage over there and stored, and it’s a good thing that I did - there’s no easy solution for getting over there without encountering a crowd. If anything I wonder if Yamanote is actually better. Regardless, I got that much done. With the day left to go, I ventured to Nishi Nippori and I needed to summon the map several times to make sure I found the location, as it was as obscure as it could get. Just a sign on the ground for the third floor, a stairway that led to the back, an elevator that had no decoration, a single room that housed everything. Arcade PCB kits on shelves, joystick panels in exposed boxes, nicotine odor from years past - it was like I was transported to 1995 upon entry, beyond the fact that the games weren’t as old. Most of them, they did have a lot going for SF3 3rd yet. I was able to take care of some game business in a hurry since I was the only one there. It was a very pleasant respite for play in comparison to most of the other sessions. The region itself felt much the same as this arcade - old and well worn, as in well lived. Venturing south to Nippori led me to stumble upon a shrine and cemetery just by following some stairs. Usuigudani was cleaner but mostly had hotels as points of interest. Back home to buy some mochi while mochi was for sale in midday. Then to Otsuka, thinking that I would wander to Ikebukuro, but I ended up wandering back to Sugamo instead. Whoops. Meal at Sugamo, then back out to return to Shibuya and Shinjuku at night to catch evening shots, when I hadn’t done so before at these places. Good thing I did that to get Golden Gai area shots at night. With the night winding down, I decided to have one last IIDX play at Round 1 in Ikebukuro to symbolically end where I started.
Ending arcade comments
· Although the upkeep is generally better and more consistent than the US, some machines will have hardware issues here too. I was surprised by the blurriness with some of the LM IIDX machines.
· Densha De Go on the propert large cabinet is nice but quickly becomes very expensive.
· Bombergirl is OK enough and having the dedicated detonator button that pops up for hitting the base is a cute touch.
· Chase Chase Jokers feels rather clunky and I'm not sure what the game is trying to do. Interesting side screen concept at least.
· Nostalgia is delightful and would probably find a small fanbase worldwide if it had more exposure.
· Favorite IIDX locations are Taito Station in Oomiya for the light keys and Leisure Land Akihabara for the high quality of the LMs there. Honorable mention goes to the Game Versus loctation in Nishi Nihonbashi, but that might not be worth it for a dedicated trip unless you go there first thing in the morning.
Ending overall comments
This was a life altering trip for me, as would be expected. While I'm glad to have made the journey, as to be expected, I will only want to return after making an extensive redoubled effort into speaking and hearing comprehension, because I know that I came across like a blubbering idiot so many times, and it's truly aggravating because I generally know what I want to say and most of the words that are used to say it, but it just doesn't come out of my mouth properly when it needs to be done.
I welcome any questions you may have, as that will help for me to recall the memories and have me write them down.

I have told this before and I figured I would share it again.
Years ago, before the Virus that shall not be named took over, I use to work as a taxi driver in my county (Non-US.) and occasionally, I would get hired by individuals to do jobs like runs to the airport, drop their kids to school, ect. It was like running a smally business really and I had regulars who would hire me.
Well one regular who I will call "Karen" hired me to drop her and her kids to the next town over. We set a time and I eventually went to her place to pick her up. I parked on the side of the street and waited... And waited .. and waited... And she was still in her house doing what ever. I called you fine out if she was ready, but all she would say was "Just now, Im coming now". So I wait some more.
Like an hour later she finally comes out with her kids and they we finally head off. It was at this point her baby starts crying but I shrug it off cause it seems she is trying calm the kid down but it become very distracting when they are seated right behind you and you are driving. Well anyway the route takes us through some hills and it at this point it's started to rain and I mean SERIOUS rain. As in "Complete white out, it's gonna flood" sort of rain. So as you can guess I had to take my time on his road that has numerous blind corners and sharp bends. All the while water is starting to come down the hill and cause a small flood and yes, it can flood on a hill.
Yet for some reason, Karen though I was being a coward for not wanting to cause an accident on a route I am not too familiar with. I just ignore her and eventually we reach the down and I am ready to head down the main road towards the taxi stand. But then Karen starts to give me directions to where she was going and that is when I realized something.
I saw a street sign that said "Saint B" and then I realized this woman has taken me in to one of the most dangerous parts of town. This is a place most taxis avoid cause drivers have been robbed or worse in the past that this woman has taken me right into it. But eventually we reach and I told her the fare.
But it was at that point Karen blew up on me, saying it was too much and she would only give me half of what I deserve and I would get the other half when I came back for her AFTER DARK.... In one of the worst parts of town and there was no way in hell I was gonna do that. I drive a Nissan Wingroad, a popular car that gets stolen alot and no way was I gonna let that happen. And after all the crap I had to put up with, I was not gonna bend over backwards for this woman again. So I take her money and "agree" to come back.
Later that night, she does call and... I don't answer the phone. I fact, I let it ring for a bit before I finally block her number. But I was not done. The next day, I warn the other drives about what she did, effectively black listing her from our route. But just when I thought I was done with her, miss Karen calls me from another phone and has the gaul to hire me again (!)
I just tell her to find someone else and hang up before blocking her again and I haven't heard from her since. As for me, I no longer work taxi, though I still do the odd job from time to time and on a happy note, I ended up getting another client who would hire me regularly and pay very well for my services.
I not saying I proud of abandoning Karen with her kids in a bad part of town, but I have never lost sleep over it either. Never short pay your taxi drivers, people. Cause we will leave you behind.