California total loss threshold

my boyfriend and i have been together for about 6 months, but known each other for about a year. We’ll be starting long distance in a few months (over 1000 miles) for my boyfriend’s job, but only for about a year or so. this is the healthiest relationship I’ve been in, and I’m extremely scared for the future. it feels like i’m at a total loss right now, and all that I’ve heard from friends and family has been negative, so turning to reddit is sort of a last resort. any advice or kind words on making it work would be greatly appreciated.

Passed the exam on my first attempt and I am beyond ecstatic!
SCALED SCORES BY CONTENT AREA:

Name	Score
Information Systems Auditing Process	599
Governance and Management of IT	444
Information Systems Acquisition, Development, and Implementation	573
Information Systems Operations and Business Resilience	564
Protection of Information Assets	608

Total scaled score of 564. Yes, I know my scores for Domain 2 are low, but that's alright. I passed overall, and that's all that matters.
Background

• 15+ years of work experience, primarily within IT Asset Management, IT Project Analysis/Management, and IT Finance.
• I have been involved in my organization's annual audit of IT general controls (as part of the external financial audit) for the past three years, which prompted me to pursue my CISA certification.

Resources

• The most important resource, like everyone says, is the CISA Review Manual. I read the online manual once from top to bottom. It was REALLY boring. Highlighted text and created flash cards. Honestly, never reviewed any of it again.
• Once I finished reading the CRM, I answered the domain specific questions in the QAE. Scored poorly, almost 45-60% on most of them. Really lowered my confidence, to be honest... especially after reading the entire book for what seemed like an eternity.
• One name that kept popping up in forums was Hemang Doshi. Found his course of Udemy and went through the whole thing. Quality of audio/video is low BUT there were a number of useful tips/tricks which helped me in the exam.
• Completed the 2 practice exams in the QAE after taking the Udemy course above. Took about 1.5 hours each, and scored 91% in each exam, which boosted my confidence.

Full disclosure, I attended a 3-4 day virtual crash course type course from a major IT training company. I can confidently say that it was a massive waste of money. Paid over $3K for it and got zero value from it. And I really mean it... ZERO. I will NEVER recommend attending that course or any paid crash course, if you ask me. There are many online resources available that are better and cheaper.
Preparation Time
Studied religiously for 10 straight days (12-14 hours/day), and took my exam on the 11th day.

• CISA Review Manual: 6 days
• QAE: 1.5 days (domain-specific questions)
• Hemang Doshi: 2 days
• QAE: 0.5 days (practice exam)

I am not including the crash course here since it was completely useless. Moreover, I took it 1 year prior to my exam. Did not follow up on that course at any point. I started preparing exactly 10 days before the exam date.
Tips

• Your best resource is the CRM. It is really dry, but read it. I set goals of 2 days each to complete reading domains 1 and 5, and 1 day each for domains 2, 3, and 4. Exceeded that goal by 1 day, so that felt good.
• When reviewing the QAE, don't try to memorize answers. Instead, try and understand why your answer was wrong (or even right).
• Hemang Doshi's tips are quite useful, especially for hard-to-understand concepts. One of his tips was to try and answer the question even before reading the answers. This works in some cases, but not all. But still a useful strategy.
• Regarding Hemang Doshi... Again, quality was not the greatest but try to keep an open mind. I played the videos at 1.5x-1.75x with no loss in learning.
• I took time off work to study, so that ensured that studying was my only priority.
• Had to give up time with my wife and kids, which was extremely difficult. But, I was motivated to do so knowing that I was working towards a target. Was hoping for light at the end of the tunnel.
• I believe my work experience in asset management, project management, finance, and audit (all within IT) helped me understand the content better since I could apply it to the CRM content. So perhaps I was at an advantage here.
• I didn't sleep well during the 10 days, but I did the day before the exam. I was much more composed during the exam. Figured there was no use cramming in the last minute.

The Exam

• I opted for the virtual proctored exam.
• I was calm on the morning of the exam... until I decided to run the compatibility checker for PSI, 2 hours before the exam. It failed due to low network streaming quality. I was on WiFi, so I moved closer to where my router was. Failed again! Moved even closer and switched to a wired connection. FAILED. At this point, stress levels were through the roof. Ran it 2 more times. Failed. Ran it once more. PASSED. Ran it again. PASSED. One more time, FAILED. Again, PASSED. Figured that PSI was having issues, so I left it at that. Joined the exam 30 mins early without any issues.
• Not sure how it is when you write the exam in a test center, but they don't even let you drink water (not even from a clear bottle or glass) during the exam. That was annoying.
• You have to have your hands visible at all times, you cannot cover your mouth, you can't read the questions aloud, etc.
• I think they allow breaks, but I can't be sure. I didn't bother asking.
• Used 3 out of the 4 hours to complete the exam. This included going back and reviewing 20% of the exam that I flagged for myself for further review.
• Seeing "Passed" at the very end was the best feeling in the world for me. Literally felt like a ton of bricks was lifted off my shoulders.

I will mention that I always felt that my strong areas were Domains 2-4. My weakest was Domain 5. My scores say otherwise, so that's surprising. But I'll take it.
I hope this information is useful for anyone preparing for the exam. Good luck!

I am a new player to the Warhammer total war games and I just started my immortal empires campaign as Karl Franz. I have around 3k hours in the historical total war franchise so this is my first encounter with a lot of the systems unique to this series. I am currently on turn 105 of my Karl Franz campaign and I am having a lot of fun. However I have one gripe about the lord upgrade system: the power scaling of a legendary lord’s army is very intense. Once I got a good mix of units (line of great swords backed by huntsmen and artillery with a steam tank and some reiksguard) I feel unstoppable with the buffs I get from my legendary lords and technologies.
Currently, I control 1/3 of the empire directly and have the other 2/3s as defensive and military allies. My strategic position is very weak due to many exposed flanks and few armies. However, when I do get to fight with my armies, they absolutely steam roll. In one case I completely rolled 4 stacks of vampire counts in 1 turn with Karl with functionally no losses due to after battle replenishment. So, while I lose settlements semi-frequently due to my thinly stretched armies, it’s just a matter of getting the army there to turn the tide completely.
I haven’t found any other lord that can match me stack for stack. I have Archaon knocking on my door but even his stacks are no match for my armies in battle even 2 or 3 to 1.
Are there any mods you recommend that scale enemy lords more aggressively to match my power level? Or will this not be a problem when the end game crises occur? I am currently level 50 with Karl and level 35 with that Nuln witch lady and the lords I’m fighting are in the mid thirties but still feel very weak. Any input would be great before I start my second campaign after I finish uniting the empire.

1. Hooktail Castle clefts

You've been playing for awhile and have been headbonking and power shelling your way through until you see that these dudes have 3 defense. If you don't have a pow block here, it's over for you.

1. Prince Mush

Rawk Hawk was a total pushover so you probably thought that Prince Mush would be a bit stronger since it was close but nope, the guy has 96 health and 6 attack. This isn't as bad as the iron clefts because the surprise isn't in the tattle, it's when you see that he attacks you 5 times in a row

1. Iron Clefts

"Nothing in the WORLD is as strong as an Iron Cleft, and thus their defense is unknown". You probably came into this fight thinking these dudes would go down with a shooting star or an earthquake but nope. And this is also a forced loss so you feel hopeless here.

1. Amazy Dayzee

Attack: 20
Need I say more?

Change since the previous day, day range averages and total all time

Category	Change	7d	14d	30d	Total
Personnel	+1110	1271.4	1350.0	1242.0	609.0 (501190)
Tanks	+12	12.3	14.9	13.3	9.3 (7662)
APVs	+17	24.7	30.6	28.0	18.0 (14803)
Artillery	+24	38.0	34.4	34.8	15.7 (12953)
MLRS	+1	1.3	1.2	1.1	1.3 (1083)
Anti-aircraft Systems	-	1.6	1.2	1.4	0.99 (814)
Aircraft	+1	0.4	0.5	0.3	0.43 (357)
Helicopters	-	-	0.1	-	0.40 (326)
UAVs	+11	37.3	36.1	31.8	12.7 (10416)
Missiles	-	0.7	1.1	2.4	2.7 (2209)
Warships / Boats	-	0.1	0.1	-	0.03 (27)
Submarines	-	-	-	-	0.00 (1)
Other Vehicles	+31	55.4	58.6	53.7	21.4 (17639)
Special Equipment	+7	4.9	4.9	5.1	2.6 (2111)

Change since the previous day, total losses for day ranges and total all time

Category	Change	7d	14d	30d	Total
Personnel	+1110	8900	18900	37260	501190
Tanks	+12	86	208	400	7662
APVs	+17	173	428	841	14803
Artillery	+24	266	481	1043	12953
MLRS	+1	9	17	33	1083
Anti-aircraft Systems	-	11	17	42	814
Aircraft	+1	3	7	9	357
Helicopters	-	-	1	1	326
UAVs	+11	261	506	955	10416
Missiles	-	5	15	71	2209
Warships / Boats	-	1	1	1	27
Submarines	-	-	-	-	1
Other Vehicles	+31	388	820	1611	17639
Special Equipment	+7	34	69	152	2111

Source: The General Staff of the Armed Forces of Ukraine

Hi everybody,
For some context, I'm not in the US, but I'm converting to dollars and using percentages where possible. Just a heads up if the numbers look a bit strange compared to what's normally discussed here.
I recently needed to buy a car. After working everything out and being rather conservative, I determined that I'd be comfortable buying something older for around $7 000.00. This is 22.5% of my gross annual income.
Due to the age of the car, the only financing option available to me was to take out a personal loan at 28.0% over a period of five years (I know, but this is one of those instances where my idiocy was necessary).
This puts the minimum monthly repayment at approximately 10.0% of my gross monthly income.
Despite this high rate, I'm comfortable paying this off well before the five year mark, however, I'm trying to mitigate the impact that this loan will have in the event that something happens to hinder these plans (loss of work, large emergency, etc).
I'm also just tired of seeing this loan every time I open up my banking app.
This brings me to my question:
The brokerage I use for my monthly investments and TFSA allows me to borrow against my equities at a rate of 14.5% for a maximum lending period of one year, with my equities being put up as collateral. At any one time, I can borrow approximately $1 000.00 if I consider my qualifying holdings.
I should note that I am now only maxing out my TFSA - no other investments are being made until the car is paid off.
Would it be wise to borrow against my equities at 14.5%, put that into paying down the loan at 28.0%, pay off the equity loan in two / three months, then rinse and repeat until the personal loan is paid off?
I'm paying in extra on the loan anyway every month, so the increase in minimum repayments wouldn't come as a shock to the system. This may also have a positive impact on my credit score.
My biggest concern is putting a proportion of my TFSA down as collateral. I know its normally regarded as a bad move to withdraw from a TFSA, but this isn't quite the same thing.
I will be putting together a spreadsheet to determine the overall difference this would make to the total amount owed, but for now I just need others to sanity check my thinking.
Thanks everybody.

Hello everyone, this will be a long one. First, I wanted to discuss Pantheon's thematic concept and thematic playstyle. Both of these terms are subjective. Then, I wanted to analyze his current state and kit to get a better understanding and highlight his strengths and weaknesses. Then I made some small, large, and redesigning suggestions for the champion. This document is about 13 pages single space. I hope you enjoy.
Thematic Concept Thematic concept refers to his out of game concept, clearly being a mix of a spartan warrior and partially a vessel of a god of war. What stands out in the character is the combination of spear and shield. As a vessel of the god of war, there is an expectation that his fighting is flexible to be both offensive and defensive as well as dueling and large combat prowess. This works well with the spear and shield combat as both Spartans and gladiators often used this combination of weapons. Spartans could create a protective front line and pierce enemies from behind the shield wall. In formation, they could use their shields to push enemies back and stab when opponents were knocked off balance. Gladiators with spears and shields are very defensive and it only takes a few pokes and some endurance to whittle away at your opponent until you go in for the kill (or they surrender). As a vessel of a god of war, we want to embody these two characters as well as being a durable fighter. He should be bulky, someone on the front line who's not afraid to get into the thick of it while maintain this offensive and defensive balance.
Thematic Playstyle The thematic playstyle should flow from the thematic concept. These two concepts should match to the best of their abilities. Obviously the game has to have some balance and a space dragon and guy with a shotgun should be able fight on a more or less even playing field. Pantheon currently has two distinct playstyles: fighter, and glass cannon.
If above the curve, his glass cannon builds can 100-0 most isolated squishy targets, and if not can leave them very low on health (or kill them if they are below 100%). Usually the playstyle looked like this: ult onto target or surprise from a bush or flank >> empowered w (+3 quick autos) >> q >> auto >> e >> empowered q. There's not a lot of mechanical skill in this playstyle, the skill comes from your ability to set up the kills (map awareness, timing, understanding current vision control, know when to push and then duck into cover). The main reason I didn't call this an assassin build is because assassins are usually defined by their slipperiness. Assassins are meant to get a kill and then slip out. However, they usually can slip out of ganks easily with their dashes or other mobility spells. Pantheon is meant to be a frontline/diver in his thematic concept and playstyle and so he doesn't have this ability to slip out of a gank (unless you want to use your 3 (down to 2:30 minute ultimate cooldown which can easily be cancelled if the enemy is in range). Pantheon does have his empowered e, which does help him escape these ganks if near a turret (or allies), but with it's long cd as well being the only defensive tool, pantheon becomes a sitting duck if ganked in a long lane (particularly in the mid/late game). What this playstyle means a lot of the time is that you're clearing waves and clearing waves, running away at the sight of an opponent (even if it's just one), then clearing some more waves, and then try to find a good ult when objectives are spawning. This glass cannon build plays super scared, does not want to be in a fight, but can often be more successful since getting a pick in the early/middle game puts the enemy carries behind; and getting picks in the middle/late game leads to objective control as well as top laners being less valuable than carries. Let's also be clear that if you cannot get a kill on a carry (usually because the support protects them), then you will die 95% of the time with no recompense. There is a thematic mismatch between this playstyle and his concept. It's not a mechanical playstyle, since you're just landing all of your abilities while a target is stunned for half of the time and running away; it's not a tactical playstyle, because you're not baiting out abilities, spacing the opponent, or waiting for your cd's; but it is strategic in the general sense that you have to be a strong macro player to play pantheon well, however I would argue that this is not part of Pantheon's thematic concept (although in general I don't think many champions fall under a "strategic" concept, with maybe the exception of Swain and Teemo). More importantly, with his glass cannon build, there is no balance between spear and shield (offense and defense), it's all spear. There's no front line soldier who gets into the thick of it, only a coward that runs away. There's no culmination of small victories (winning small trades) until your opponent dies or has to surrender, it's just a one-shot from a surprise angle. I like Pantheon's glass cannon build solely because I win more with this build.
Pantheon's fighter build is closer to matching his thematic concept. His trading patterns are a longer, he can last longer in combat, and he is threatening enough that he can dissuade kills. His major strengths come from his point-and-click stun which counters pretty much all assassins in team fights as well as gets picks for your allies. Pantheon's kit is indeed strong and so his bruiser build functions well on low economy. All he really needs is a black cleaver and another defensive fighter item (DD or Maw depending on matchup, which you end up getting first) and he's off to the races (this is Keegun's - NA challenger pantheon main - current build suggestion for pantheon). It's almost always better to gives your teammates the gold in team fights because they are more gold efficient than Pantheon. Similarly, it's also better to give your jungler the kill when they gank your lane (top lane) because they can use the gold and affect the map better. This is also partially how jungle and support Pantheon function, they become a stun bot so that their teammates can collect the goal. Pantheon's fighter build still suffers from similar issues as his glass cannon build where he can be run down in the long lane. If even, most (if not all) duelists and tanks will win the 1v1 at 3 items+ if both Pantheon and his opponent are at 100% hp. In many cases where Pantheon goes even in the trade, Pantheon will find his enemy life stealing against the wave. Even if Pantheon went a life steal build, he will find himself running out of mana quickly and so it is better to give his opponent the push, which impairs his ability to move to a team fight, ultimately taking away one of his major strengths. Regarding the flow from thematic concept to thematic playstyle, Pantheon's bruiser build gets closer to mending the two with his ability to be in the thick of a fight for a little bit, but even this aspect doesn't stand out amongst the other bruisers in the game; he becomes as tanky as camille or fiora, but without their late game upside. He doesn't balance offense and defense; or spear and shield; burst and endurance. With this build, he's not a vessel of the god of war, he's a sidekick who helps feed his teammates.
Pantheon's Current State Pantheon's glass cannon build seems to be his best performing build, but this is partially because this build becomes more effective when he's played mid lane. As mentioned earlier, he can one-shot squishy targets with this build and so it makes sense that playing in a lane that typical plays squishy champions (mages, assassins) pantheon is able to excel. Riot Phreak said in his recent patch notes rundown video that they have to be careful when buffing Pantheon because his win rate is strong in the mid lane, which comes from the common matchups that he plays against. Based on the previous section, it's likely that the best changes for Pantheon would be to diminish his strength as a glass cannon. I'm going to largely talk about top lane (I'm most familiar with this role for Pantheon) because this is where the fighter class general thrives, but also because his role in other positions is more one-dimensional (as explained in the glass-cannon section).
Early Game/Lane Phase
In top lane and mid lane, pantheon's lane phase is largely similar. Usually the difference between playstyle is based less on lane and more on the range of the opponent. Pantheon has clear mana problems (I will get into this in my section on each of his abilities). In lane, he can usually use his full kit twice (essentially 2 e's, 3 w's before fully oom, not including q's). Other than his e, which drains him of mana, he has no defensive mechanics in his kit. He technically has his w to stun someone and walk away, but this doesn't negate damage nor does it sustain him - it also drains him of mana. So Pantheon relies on his Q in lane to poke to a point where his full combo is enough to get the enemy low. This is a strong strategy early game, but if you don't get his poke off, the enemy can easily all-in you from levels 3-5. So usually Pantheon succeeds on hard pushing the first wave to hit level 2 first - if the enemy doesn't respect the level 2, then they will lose the trade pretty hard. However, depending on the matchup, Pantheon can lose the level 1 and if the other player is aware of the matchup, then Pantheon is playing on the backfoot for a while. If the opponent respects the level 2, then they back up and usually nothing happens and you can get a cheater recall off (if perfect success, you have 450g which goes to boots + refillable). After first back, Pantheon excels at his poke trade patterns, and it's important that he is either freezing or crashing waves against his opponent. He's very good at not letting opponents freeze a wave assuming both Pantheon and his opponent are equal. However, if he's behind and frozen on, he will struggle greatly because he loses pretty much every all-in (from 100%) after level 3. As mentioned earlier, one of his strengths is to whittle the opponent down, but as long as they respect his range; Pantheon can't do much about it. This is where the jungler plays a crucial role for Pantheon top. Pantheon is great for setting up dives for most junglers and so he works very well with carry/damage oriented junglers. If Pantheon gets ahead, as long as his opponents don't give him a freeze and they respect Pantheon, Pantheon is very bad at pushing his lead in lane. If Pantheon keeps receiving help for the dives, it's likely his other lanes will start losing. This is why it's best for jungler teammates to gank early to get themselves ahead and transition their lead to winning the rest of the map. At this point, Pantheon's goals change to winning the lane through farm, not dying to ganks, and finding opportune moments to roam (particularly mid lane).
Mid Game
As the data suggests (I use lolalytics), Pantheon's win rate falls off a cliff in the mid game (and then comes back up a bit in the end game). The main reason, I believe, that Pantheon loses a lot of his win rate in the mid game is because he loses his poke-trade pattern. When tier-1 turrets fall, the lanes become longer and so enemies either give him the push, they all-in him in the long lane, or he gives them the push. Since his ultimate is 3 minutes long from levels 6-10 (and 2:30 from 11-15), he basically only has an ultimate once every 5 minutes for when dragon spawns. If Pantheon doesn't save his ultimate for objective spawn, he will find it very difficult to be effective in the team fight. It will require running to the fight early (or pushing strong, which means your mid laner (who is running tp) needs to cover weak side, which means you're fighting for position around the objective without your mid lane carry, which puts you at a disadvantage), and finding a good flank. Because he loses his poke trade pattern, he cannot 100-0 bruisers, he's often just farming up and waiting for fights. This is a fairly underwhelming trade pattern and can lead to Pantheon mains likely getting bored and starting unideal fights. Overall, his play pattern changes the most after the early game when the enemy opponent is not required to interact with Pantheon in a shorter lane.
Late Game
Late game has similar problems to early game, but his win rate stabilizes to 50% likely because of the confounding variable where a team that cannot beat Pantheon's team by 30 minutes, it could be because Pantheon's teammates are farther ahead and scale better. This is not to say Pantheon scales poorly. Pantheon's scaling is difficult to define. If Pantheon can stun or kill an enemy carry late game, his team will likely win the game. With Black cleaver and BotRK, Pantheon can also hold off most split pushers. However, he's not a win condition and is not great at applying pressure. He's good at taking one tower at a time if his team plays safe and enemy top laner doesn't have TP up, but since he cannot dive or all-in well, he cannot pressure an enemy in the 1v1.
Pantheon's Kit and Stats In this section, I will be looking at Pantheon's current kit to analyze the strengths and weaknesses. I will cover both their numbers, relative to other champions in his class as well as his former kit, and their concept. I will then discuss some of his base statistics. To save a bit of time reading, I will not be displaying the full text of each ability.
Passive - Mortal Will
Pantheon's passive is likely the most problematic part about his kit. Conceptually, it's generic. Pantheon's current passive requires him to have 5 stacks, which can be stacked from either autos or abilities, which can then empower one of his basic abilities. Previously, pantheon needed 4 stacks, which would cause the next basic attack to be blocked. Additionally, Pantheon's old W (same ability more or less) would give him his passive immediately and keep the stack counter the same. This means at 3 stacks, Pantheon could W a target, that target's auto would be blocked, then pantheon would auto, and the target's next auto would be blocked again. The old passive gave him a unique defensive tool which matched his thematic concept with his thematic playstyle. It also gave him tactical depth because he could W an opponent before their empowered auto to negate the damage. His current passive does not give him the same tactical depth, and actually limits his depth because of how reliant he is on empowered W as part of his trade pattern. It does offer you the choice though if you would like to kill your opponent immediately with empowered Q or chase them down a bit if you need a few more autos with empowered E (or just run away). But even if you did believe that his passive adds some depth, it still has two other major issues. The first is that it encourages Pantheon to be more auto-based. None of his kit except this part encourages auto attacks, nor does thematic concept or playstyle revolve around an auto-based kit. He's a midrange ad spell casting fighter, akin to Jayce, but instead of a melee/range form he should have a offensive/defensive balance. The second major issue with his passive is that it frontloads too much of his power into his basic abilities, which creates balance issues.
Q - Comet Spear
This is Pantheon's bread and butter, but it still has problems. To start with empowered Q, this may be one of the most satisfying abilities, but it's just too strong. His regular Q deals about half damage. While his poke in lane is good, it's not as good as it used to be. Pantheon used to have a Q that dealt 75/115/155/195/235 (+140 bonus AD), with a 4s CD, point and click and is 600 range. Pantheon's current regular Q deals 70/100/130/160/190 (+115% bonus AD) with a 4.4-3.2s CD, aoe skill shot, and 560 range. Old Pantheon used to fall off heavily after level 9 because his old Q was so weak, and it's a similar story now. In lane, this is a great ability; however, base weak is just very weak in all-ins. The other frustrating thing about his Q is its thrown version. Since this ability is his bread and butter, if you use the thrown version, it becomes an 11-second CD rather than 4.4s. This means you basically have to back off after using thrown Q. Therefore, the only time you should be using it is when you've clearly won the fight and you're looking for chip-damage or you're trying to execute. In the first case, it's pretty meaningless because they'll just back at this point. In the second case, it's great! However my point is that thrown Q is a fake part of the spell, it does more harm than good when using it. It gets worse though, since if you try to use thrown Q through a minion wave, it gets reduced by 50% if thrown through a minion wave. It has its fringe uses, but I think it has room for improvement. In general, I think this is a great ability, but it must be remembered when looking at solutions for this champion.
W - Shield Vault
This is Pantheon's best ability, for the reasons listed above. A point-and-click stun is just strong. I think everything about this ability is fair; however, it may even be too strong, and changing the ability so that it's not point-and-click should be considered. The big issue with his W is it's empowered version. There are two problems and a big consideration with this ability. The first problem The first problem is that the three auto attacks are just so strong with on-hit. I considered BotRK to be Pantheon's best item by far last patch because the 3 auto's at 12% current health was the only thing winning him 1v1s. Similarly, Pantheon is able to stack conqueror, black cleaver, and PTA well with this combo. While this may sound like a benefit to him, it moves away from a preferred thematic concept. This leads into my second point, the three autos feel small with the quick animation and high pitch audio. They're three little stabs, and when you don't go BotRK, they really don't deal much damage. Thematically, this just feels bad, it feels like an ability that xin zhao, fiora, gwen, irelia, kat, shaco, or talon would have. When it comes to playstyle, there's no skill expression with this second part either, it's just the same W and since their stunned and your auto attack timer is up, it's basically just a free "combo". The consideration that needs to be made is how it stacks Pantheon's passive. While it did fully stack the old passive, his old passive was... passive, it wasn't part of his offensive trade pattern. Pantheon's current trade pattern almost always starts with empowered W because it becomes a free empowered Q (or E sometimes). His W being a passive stacking mechanic is what brings down the depth of his trade pattern.
E - Aegis Assault
Pantheon's E is pragmatically his most problematic ability. It's pragmatically problematic (rather than thematically) because the base ability is so strong (there's a theme here if you can't tell). Because it's so strong, the CD is super high, the damage is low, the empowered E got heavily nerfed a few seasons ago, and the mana cost is also high. To compare his current E to his old E: Current E has a CD from 22-18, costs 80 mana, and deals 55-255 (+150 bonus AD). Old E used to have a 10-6 CD, cost 45-65 mana, and dealt 100-300 (+300% bonus AD). Yes, you're reading that right. 300 + 300% bonus ad on a 6s CD with only 65 mana, which you would get at level 9 if maxed first. Talon R total physical damage (hits both parts) deals 360 (+200% bonus AD) at level 16. I'm not suggesting to return Pantheon's current E to similar damage, I am just trying to highlight how much damage was lost in Pantheon's kit. If I recall correctly, Pantheon was around 54% wr top consistently prior to being reworked; nowadays he sits below 50% as a "simple" champion (he's currently ranked 65/95 champions according to lolalytics over the last 30 days in emerald+). The two main issues with this ability are it's cooldown as well as its mana cost. Pantheon has 1 defensive ability and it feels like you only get to use this as a last resort. It feels like you don't get to play with the shield as a spear and shield guy. And when you do use it, you're severely punished mana-wise. Lastly, his empowered E just feels bad. Rarely do I use empowered E offensively, and it's much more likely that I use it to run away after. Although since the movement speed is small and only lasts 1.5s, you're likely to get caught afterwards in a long lane, which is why he has to play so scared in the long lane. However, even if you do escape, he's not (nor feels like) the champion that tanks in a fight and stays, he tanks a bit and runs away. Again, playing with a cowardly playstyle.
I want to compare his defensive ability to that of other champions in the same class. On top of Camille's mobility and healing, her passive shields every 14-10s (lvl 1-13). Fiora W costs 50 mana and CD is 24-16s. Gangplank W costs 60-100 mana (usually 60 since maxed last) and CD is 22-14. Riven E is manaless and the cd is 10-6s. Gwen W is 60 mana and CD is 22-18s. Irelia W is 70-90 mana and CD is 20-12s. Jax E is 50-90 mana and 15-9 CD. Olaf W is 50 mana and is 16-12 CD. Sett W is manaless and 18-12 cs. Volibear E is 60 mana and CD is 12s. Assuming Pantheon can even survive in the 1v1 after a full use of spells, all of these champions will have big defensive spells up like 4-8s sooner than Pantheon. During the early game, his ability is more mana hungry and his E loses in often 3 different ways compared to his fighting counterparts. What's most important though is that Pantheon's shield should be defining in his playstyle, but since you can't use it often, you feel like you're just the spear guy.
R - Grand Starfall
Pantheon's R has remained the same the most compared to all of his abilities through the rework. One thing to note is that his ult used to be 2:30-2:00 CD while his current ult is 3:00-2:30, which feels a bit bad. But all global abilities in League have been strong and so they need to be gated behind a long cooldown. I think this is more or less okay, and his ultimate does play into his thematic concept and playstyle well. I think his old ultimate had a bit more oomf to it but both of them are betteworse in minor ways. I think there is a way to reimagine this ability in a following section, but for now I think this is a great ability that needs to be changed the least. However, the 30% armor penetration that was added to his kit a few seasons ago is a band aid solution. In fact, it what makes his glass cannon build so much stronger because lethality becomes more gold effective on him.
Base Statistics
Mana - Pantheon has a starting mana of 317, which puts him the bottom 3rd of base starting mana as a spell-casting (rather than auto based) melee fighter (let's also remember that much of top lane are manaless champions). Pantheon is in the bottom 15% of champions for mana mana growth per level (31/lvl). In the list of champions with a worse growth coefficient are all mages; the next 3 are auto-based fringe top laners (ww, nocturne, quinn), while Poppy - a champion with 2 possible mana items that they are able to purchase in their class - is the next closest (40/lvl). Camille and Jax are the next comparable champions (52/lvl).
For Pantheon's other stats, he usually is in the realm of the fighter class (which has higher base stats on average) but is usually near the bottom in his class. However, it should be noted that his base health regen and health regen coefficient are both low for his class, and without any healing or cheap shielding in his kit, he will often get out endured in a lane where he doesn't have good opportunities to back. For a champion who's playstyle should be partially about sustained fighting, he is bad at it from a base statistics perspective.
Small Changes These are my band aid solutions. These are direction suggestions and the exact numbers shouldn't be taken literally. Also, since I'm including multiple suggestions, I know that adding all or even multiple of them will make Pantheon overpowered. These are just the directions I suggest the balance team should take.
Q: Have the base Q scale harder off of bonus AD (remember old Pantheon Q had +140%). Compensate by nerfing Q5 base damage by a bit or nerfing empowered Q base scaling.
Q: Either make thrown Q able to deal full damage through minions, or reduce cool down of thrown Q. If cool down is reduced, nerf tap Q cool down refund respectively.
W: Remove the effectiveness of the on-hit portion of his W.
E: Buff this ability overall. Reduce mana cost to something like 60-90. Reduce cooldown from 22-18 to 16-12; however, nerf W cool down to 16-12 in response. It would make sense that these two abilities are up at similar times (similar to alistar Q and W) so that there's more choice between spell usage.
E: This damage can be buffed. This ability basically deals 3 auto attacks worth of damage over a 1.5s duration.
R: Remove the armor pen.
Increase base mana, base mana regen, and base health regen.
Larger Changes These larger changes are more unrealistic.
Tap Q: Slows enemy by 5/10/15/20/25% for 1s. Serylda's grudge got massively nerfed for Pantheon because he can no longer go Black Cleaver + Serylda's, and also the slow was nerfed to below 50%. If a champion is below 50% while Pantheon is on them, they're basically dead (assuming he hasn't used his abilities yet). A slow on his Q, while incredibly strong - and should perhaps be tuned by champion level rather than skill rank - gives him the ability to space opponents and play that endurance fight more effectively. He keeps them at bay slowing them and so they can't chase him down as easily in the long lane.
E: Do the E small changes (regarding mana and CD) but also make the channel a smaller window. A 0.75-1s channel window makes the ability more skillful and allows room for buffs.
Empowered E: Refund cool down on E. Something like 50% allows his 22s cd to come back up in 11s can be big as a defensive option.
Redesigning Pantheon To reiterate, here's what I would want from Pantheon's kit: balance of offensive and defensive, spell-based mid range melee fighter (mid range similar to ryze, cass), mostly endurance fighter but some opportunity for burst, and someone who can be a front line or duelist. With this in mind, we need to set up some weaknesses. He can't be a burst champion, he has too many tools that we need to give his enemies time to outplay him. Since he's mid range, he will be weak to champions that out-range him. With this combination, it should be hard for him to jump on an enemy, but if he does, there should be time for them to react. This means he will be weak to mages and supports which should shift him out of mid lane and support.
Passive - Mortal Will
Pantheon generates a stack of Mortal Will whenever he lands an ability on an enemy champion or large monster, stacking up to 3 times. At 3 stacks, Pantheon's next basic ability consumes the stacks to become empowered. Pantheon gains maximum stacks of Mortal Will upon starting the game, completing a Recall channel, and respawning.
Note - The purpose of changing this ability to 3 stacks means that he has to be more skillful with his abilities. He can't just rely on autoing minions or Q-ing the air to get himself to full stacks. This will also nudge him away from being an auto-based champion. With 3 stacks it will will take longer to get multiple passive procs, but this allows for the passive to be strong. If you can extend the fight, Pantheon will shine.
Q - Comet Spear
Cost: 45 (20 mana nerf) Cooldown: 5/4.5/4/3.5/3 Range: -40 - 560 / 1100 Cast time, width, speed: same. For the rest of the ability, I would keep the text and numbers largely the same. Added: Tapping Comet Spear refunds 55% of the mana cost (~25 mana total). Comet Spear impales his target causing them to bleed for 3s and take 5/10/15/20/25 (+ 25% bonus AD) total physical damage over the duration. Empowered Q will cause the bleed to deal double damage.
Note - This needs to be his major damage source. As mentioned above, tap Q has a 4.4-3.2s CD with 0 ability haste, so this would technically be a minor nerf early game, however this gives him his thrown ability back. Thrown Q is harder to hit because you need to channel the ability for 0.55s to throw as well as the speed, while fast, is slower than an instant tap Q. It will still take reduced damage through the minions which means that it shouldn't be great for harassing range opponents, but it will give him some ability to play into the matchup after his loss of engage and burst (as you will see). To also mitigate this buff to thrown Q, the mana cost is nerfed to old Pantheon's Q cost, however the mana is refunded if used for tap Q. The bleed damage backloads the damage a bit which gives time for enemies to react. The bleed does not stack, but does get refreshed upon further Comet Spear hits. Bleed should be added to Pantheon's kit because it brings out the endurance side of his thematic playstyle. Bleed will keep conqueror, grasp, black cleaver and other similar effects up which highlights that he's still in the fight. Additionally, this damage will mitigate the damage that is lost from being an auto-based champion, as well as mitigate effects from passive/active health regen and items/runes such as doran's shield and second wind (old Pantheon had this problem where he lost every matchup into players who took doran's shield + second wind). The empowered Comet Spear getting double bleed damage is to mirror that this ability practically does double damage. Lastly, the numbers for the bleed were chosen to mimic Darius' Hemorrhage (passive) which does 13-30 (based on level) (+30% bonus AD), but stacks up to 5 times. 3 seconds was chosen as a timeframe for the bleed for Pantheon because he can make full use of it early game, but once it's rank 5 and with ability haste, he won't be benefitting from a spam Q playstyle and will be slightly rewarded for playing it slower. Lastly, the bleed damage can be used to balance his Jungle clear since he won't be getting his passive up as easily without the auto-based passive.
W - Shield Bash (New Spell)
Active: Pantheon bashes his shield in front of him. Enemies near Pantheon are also stunned for 0.5s and knocked back up to 300 units based on their proximity to him. Damage is the same as what's on PBE right now (5-7% max HP + ap scaling). Effect Radius: 300 Cast time: 0.35s Cooldown: 14/13/12/11/10 (1s nerf). Empowered W will be the current Shield Vault. The damage will be the same, but it will be a skill shot similar to Malphite ultimate, although smaller radius, slower travel speed, stuns rather than knocks up, and Pantheon will have a 0.25s animation lock upon landing.
Note - Shield bash is pretty much a copy of Maokai's inner Bramble Smash (Q) which knocks back enemies. It doesn't have the extended range, slow or damage though. The point of this ability on Pantheon is that it gives him a defensive tool that gets melee champions off of him, which helps his midrange play style. The reliable stun which comes up every 6 seconds in the mid/late game going away takes away his current identity of being a stun-bot. Additionally, he takes away his burst and dive potential since it's harder for him to get onto targets. He will have to either use empowered W to get onto target or his ultimate. Shield Bash also gives more out play potential because you can time melee champs out of their attack (if you're familiar with Maokai, you know how strong this can be). Ultimately, this makes Pantheon become a disengage-poke champion which plays into that midrange thematic playstyle. As for the empowered W, this will give him the flexibility to engage, and with it being an AOE spell, it allows him to be a strong team fighter. However, because it's a skill shot rather than point-and-click, it gives his opponents potential to outplay. Often carries would flash Pantheon's Shield Vault but would still get hit by the stun which is unfair to them. The purpose of the 0.25s animation lock after casting gives him the heavier and slower rolling feel that you get in dark souls games but also it's meant to be clearly weaker than Malphite ultimate. Also this ability helps Pantheon run away from enemies which is important for a side laner, but also the animation lock gives them a little room to hit a skill shot on you. Also, if you are using this ability to run away, you will find that your passive is down and since you have to hit enemy champions (or large jungle monsters), you will often find yourself at a disadvantage for the next find or if they try to pursue you.
E - Aegis Assault
Cost: 50/60/70/80/90 Cool down: 22/20/18/16/14 Duration: 1s Effect radius, angle, and everything else is the same. Due to less duration, Aegis Assault deals damage 8 times (every 0.125s to enemies hit). Empowered E inflicts armor reduction for 5% each time an enemy takes damage from Aegis Assault up to 40% armor reduction for 5 seconds.
Note - The cost is lowered early so you're not as heavily punished for using it. The cool down remains the same early to be in line with other early game defensive abilities. However, as a spear and shield champion, he should have this ability up more often in the mid and late game. Because of this, the duration should go down and mana up slightly to compensate. The damage is being nerfed slightly also since it doesn't last 1.5s. The empowered E getting armor reduction helps his team fighting prowess and will likely only give him the armor reduction against front liners. This greatly takes away his power to burst squishy targets and also means that he won't be using his empowered W to stun opponents (carries). Here there are significant trade offs to using his abilities for offensive vs defense in a more satisfying way. Additionally, if enemies don't take the full channel of armor shred, they're not getting their armor reduced which should be slightly weaker against mobile enemies in the 1v1 but stronger against tanks.
R - Grand Starfall
Remove the armor penetration from ultimate rank up. New passive: Hitting an enemy with an ability slows affected units by 10/20/30% for 1s.
Note - The slow will give him his true duelist potential in the mid/late parts of the game because it allows him to space appropriately against the mobility creep. Without Serylda's Grude Pantheon doesn't have the ability to stick on targets well over a duration of time which is partially why he needed to be burst-oriented. The slow should alleviate this issue and allow his mid-range thematic playstyle to shine. It's important to note that this only works on abilities that hit enemies and therefore doesn't work on the bleed that was added to his kit. Taking away the armor penetration also goes away from his glass-cannon build.
Conclusion Pantheon's current kit misses the mark for what should be his thematic concept and thematic playstyle. He should be a warrior that can go into battle or a duel with a balance of offense and defense, outplay his opponent through a fight of attrition while having his moments for heavy damage. He should not be a pseudo-assassin who can't 1v1 in the side lane and is scared to walk up. I have highlighted his issues above which come from being mana hungry while also being too auto-dependent when he should be ability dependent. The "Small Changes" section shows reasonable band-aid fixes to his kit. The "Larger Changes" section are some fixes that drastically change a few of his abilities but are what's needed to make his playstyle feel better. The "Redesigning Pantheon" is how I would go about reimagining this champion to fit the thematic playstyle and concept that he deserves. It is largely a rework, and the numbers are not exact, but this gives a lot of complexity to a champion that currently plays more generically than he seems.
This took me a long time to write and I'm happy to hear all questions and comments about any part of this document or Pantheon in general. Pantheon is my highest mastery champion (however I'm far from a one-trick) and I've hit Masters in multiple roles if that's something that's important to the discussion. Thank you for reading.

I was born in a small pocket of a big city up north. Single mom and couple siblings, lived with my grandparents most of my life. We didn’t have much and what we did we had by the skin of our teeth really.
I worked really hard, got into a good school, graduated, did an internship and made it out of my hometown! Thrilling!
And then I met my partner. He was like nobody I’d ever met. Audacious in most ways and then he’d surprise me with shyness. Bold and friendly, always making conversation.
We’d had really similar upbringings and had taken total different paths and still found each other. That’s pretty cool!
When we started dating, my mom flipped out. I was in my mid twenties, like fully out of the house, off the insurance type deal. She voluntarily and unexpectedly went no contact with me for two years from a picture. It was painful. But my partner put on a brave face, and he waited it out. Which was another surprise, for me and my mom. He and I drove up and he shook her hand on her property, and they immediately hit it off.
We laughed that day, about how much time she wasted. Look what you’ve been missing!!! He went above and beyond for me in ways people hadn’t before, and that was never lost on me. And I had actually had so much fun. Her loss!
At least now we could play catch up: I was going to be home with him on and off all year for a slew of weddings and accompanying events. You know, as one does when your childhood friends all settle down in the same summer 😀 what could possibly go wrong?
We made it to the first wedding. September. A great time! Someone broke their leg dancing and the dj played them off to evacuate the dance floor? I cannot make this shit up, but these kids share catholic school trauma and we cope with humor. Largely. Usually? I’ll get back to that. My partner and I spent a bit more time with my family, then packed up and drove home. We had just started vending at markets locally and had booked a steampunk event, hoping to find a crossover audience for our art. Neither of us is particularly into steampunk? At all. But he, in particular, fucking hated steampunk. (Seems so extraneous but I swear, this will be important later.)
We were slotted to be back in a few months for the next. And we’d see my family! My aging grandmother, who raised me. My aging dog! Sweet boy! Everything’s okay! I just got the job I’ve been vying for since my move (it’s a glorified carny role and I couldn’t be happier) things are looking up!
On a Friday, I had a panic attack after work. Which, with this new exciting job, was around 3 am. I came home, woke him up, sweaty and crying and stressed out and asked him to wash my hair? Which I had never done. I guess I was just really tired. And he said no, because he had to be up early for a get together with some friends. I cried though about all my fears. My grandma my dog my teeth and he talked me down, like no one else had ever bothered to.
We went to bed late, and I think as a kindness, he left without saying goodbye. I had to work that day, it’s why I wasn’t going along with him.
Then a few hours later, he just died. I say that, not to be crude, just because that’s my concept of how it went.
Communication was so poorly handled by everyone involved and it was so devastating, in retrospect. Genuinely removed my agency from the situation entirely from go. For example, I got the call from family about six hours after the fact, and they had only just received a knock at the door so off to a great start. I got DMs, actually, from people I hardly knew, asking what was going on. And I was like?? You tell me ? You know more than I do if you’re even reaching out, because at this point I haven’t heard from anyone who was at the scene. I had to request a number through Instagram, despite my number— and his mothers— being readily available to them by way of a well-known emergency contact card. Neither of us contacted directly, but people found out through ig somehow. Has never sat right with me. Felt so violating because basically everyone in a 30 mile radius knew what was going on before I was processing that it had happened.
And I knew he died the second I answered the phone. “Are you sitting down?” was a patronizing enough cold open, and the bullshit I was fed about a search was pretty transparent. The circumstances made thing cut and dry, he must be dead. So that’s that.
And he was, but they wouldn’t tell us officially till noon the next day. They found him with sonar 👍 something I wish I didn’t know. Idk why, I just don’t like it much. So impersonal. Not him.
This is where things get complicated and deeply uncomfortable for me. At this point, I’d experienced a lot of devastating loss in my immediate household as a kid. I grew up with disease and morbidity as a constant but not in a weird way? Think Addams? We used to call my grandma morticia, literally. My grandpa was paralyzed from the waist down. TWICE! Because he was drafted after healing his initial spinal cord injury from an auto accident. My family all lived on the same block and my grandfather watched all of us growing up. Which means all of us, at varying ages, watched one of the cousins wither and pass from cancer at 5. My grandma lost the use of her right arm but still had it, limp and swollen. She realearned pretty much everything on her left. We are nothing if not resilient!
And from childhood, I was well accustomed with saying goodbye to people I loved. I didn’t expect people in my life to treat me so differently after this specific death.
And goddamn it I’ve been to my fair share of funerals, if I could do anything for my partner as young widow with Roman Catholic roots, it’s to throw a decent and respectable funerals. With heavy food and good sweets, the butter cookies to distract the kids. And my partner loves funerals— in theory. He collected funereal antiques and oddities (I mean who doesn’t in 2024 am I right? /j?) we have matching his and hers model vaults, they’re out on the porch right now.
They told me to bring pictures. I’m a fine artist and he was self trained, so we had a lot of material and I came stacked to plan with them.
But it was already done. I was sitting his parents and siblings, and his least favorite aunt. I hardly ever saw her, red flag immediately. She is not particularly friendly to me, but she’s smiling. The only one lol.
Tell me why this lady was in charge of decorating, and was so excited about the WAIT FOR IT STEAMPUNK DECOR she picked up at fucking party city for a 35 year old man’s FUNERAL! A man who, in life, vehemently hated steampunk. And I laughed! Hard, because it was genuinely so funny. It is still so funny. Like, even my partner would find that hilarious kinda just by circumstance lol like in retrospect it’s kinda giving camp no? A funeral at the local teamsters hall with generic deli subs, and that aunt taking pictures with friends in the sorority pose for some reason.
This did set a devastating trend of completely bypassing me in any conversation, despite my partner and I sharing a home and bills for years prior to his death. We are not in a common law state and we hadn’t updated our information to reflect otherwise.
I didn’t communicate with the funeral home, I found out after the fact that they made the arrangements without me. The request was that we would receive back one lock of his hair, and his whole beard and his dentures (long story). While we did get the teeth, we only got back a (1) lock of his beard to share 😃 and he was cremated 😃 so that was a fun conversation, again, after the fact.
The GFM, the meal train, the life insurance all went across the street to his family’s house, where it largely stayed for almost whole the first year. Just long enough to burn all of my savings paying all the rent on a lease we signed a month before he died. Coupled with the economy, I’m setback so far on so many levels I feel like genuinely hope it’s but finances are the worst. I was getting regular eviction notices despite constant communication with my complex’s office about the situation, and I was never even technically late on my rent— by contract tenants have til the fourth and I never paid later than hat. Anyway it affected me like mental warfare and now I have crippling anxiety about housing.
His mom did help me, I think on the DL and only after they had remodeled their kitchen and gotten a new puppy. I was able to scrape by and get out, now I’m thriving in a studio with two cats in tow. A great look for a single woman in her thirties! I actually love the studio, and it puts me closer to the city, which I know is better for me opportunity wise (and boy howdy could I use an opportunity lol)
It also puts closer to the people who saw what happened and never had the good sense to tell me like I was a person. These were mostly old buddies, a decent handful of them and I didn’t know them well because my partner just didn’t really run in that circle anymore I guess. But they are all pretty well known in town. And within a few weeks of his death, it got back to me that my name was circling in the zeitgeist.
Over the past few years, it has been proven to me that these people have connections in every avenue of interest, even my profession. That sounds crazy maybe but it is true, mainly because I’m a transplant on their turf. But I moved here for the job? Which I wanted long before I met my partner. Why should I feel pushed out of an arena I fought so hard to play in? It’s been very isolating— I avoid most of the things I used to love because I cannot avoid an awkward run in. Conventions, themed events, even places we like to shop.
Anyway these are the basics but my phone is lagging so bad I almost can’t functionally type so I’m calling it for now... I hope this doesn’t sound too gruff, I’m just trying to live it as it comes. May add some context or anecdotes later. It’s been a wild couple of years and the people I thought would care just don’t seem to. So I appreciate anyone with the wherewithal to read this mess. Thanks.

I've always wondered what would happen when the California DMV issues its last license plate of the current series, which would be 9ZZZ999. Would they reverse the characters so it would be 999ZZZ9, or go a totally different route? Maybe XX##XXX or X###XXX? They'll probably reach the limit next year, so it's genuinely interesting to see what they'll come up with.

Right now there’s a window for Challenges with just the current one for beating all bosses on normal, but the format of this window makes it seem like they’re anticipating adding more challenges in the future.
Maybe getting total time for all bosses under a certain threshold, doing them all with the minimal preset, a consecutive/survival run against multiple bosses?
Anything more really, I just want more reasons to play after getting the plat and doing all hard mode boss rush. And of course more rewards tied to it

I've been all over this sub and cannot seem to find anyone going through this sort of experience. Sharing what I'm going through both to get it out and in hopes it can help someone else in a similar situation.
I'm a healthy 38 year old woman with a healthy 3 year old. My husband and I had been casually trying for another child off and on for about 2 years. We were pleasantly surprised to become pregnant earlier this year. However, things quickly took a downturn when I got the call that my NIPT blood test came back with high risk for Trisomy 18 (T18). A week later, on 05/20/24, our ultrasound and meeting with the MFM and genetic counselor determined with 99% certainty that our baby girl did indeed have a severe presentation of T18. The ultrasound showed very large and extensive cystic hygromas and other anomalies. We took the option 3 days later to undergo the D&C in the surgical setting at approximately 14 weeks. This occurred yesterday.
In the immediate aftermath yesterday, I felt like I was doing well. There was a sense of relief and that our struggling little baby girl was now at peace. My husband was by my side every step of the way yesterday, holding his hand on my belly feeling the baby move as we said goodbye, crying just as hard as me. Today, though, it seemed like whatever spell he was under for being caring and kind just wore off. He slept in late while I was up with my feelings at 4am. He never asked if I needed anything, only once asked how I was doing as he walked away. Then, started gently asking if I was okay with him going away from the house to do some shopping and run some errands. I was very tired and wanted to sleep before my parents brought our 3 year old son back to us, so I said it was fine thinking it would be around an hour he was away. Instead, he disappeared for almost 4 hours. He barely got back in time to meet my parents as they brought our son and dinner to us. It all went downhill from there.
At dinner, my parents and husband were all drinking, either beer or wine. They even cheerfully offered me a drink, which I sharply declined. My parents only stayed for an hour, left us to clean up the dishes and kitchen and never once acknowledged the situation at all. This is the first time I had seen my parents in months and they did not at all ask how I was doing, offer condolences, hugs, or seem bothered at all by the fact that I just had to terminate a much loved baby yesterday. To add to matters, I noticed my husband was spending a lot of time outside talking on the phone. When I went outside to investigate, he seemed to be animatedly talking to a friend over the phone with several more empty beer bottles nearby. He saw me and registered that I was upset, so quickly hung up and told me all kinds of excuses why he had to talk to someone about business, he only had one or two beers (clearly a lot more actually), and started suggesting several of his buddies could stop by and they could hang out by the fire pit in the back yard.
Next thing I know, my parents have gone, I'm cleaning up the kitchen alone while taking care of our toddler and my husband is expecting his friends to come over very soon. I lost it completely after cleaning the kitchen, sobbing curled up in bed. When my husband finally came to talk to me, correction, rather than come to me himself, he used our son as a shield, sending him in because he said Mommy just needs a hug. I forced myself to stop crying for my son's sake since it was clearly making him upset too. Once I set up my son cozy on the couch with a snack and TV show, I told my husband how hurt and betrayed I feel. My husband, of course, tried to invalidate everything, saying that he was there for me totally, was there all day, only had a little to drink and the friends coming over are good friends and he thought maybe I want to talk to them too...all of which is obviously untrue.
Not long after, he goes outside to make the fire and his friends arrive. As I hear them pull in, I put our son to bed by myself. Laying in bed, I cry my eyes out as I hear them laugh and clink bottles of beer. I blame myself for trusting him to take care of me, feel shame for even needing to be taken care of and rage that I can be treated this way at the lowest time in my life. The only thing to do is cry, now not just for the loss of my baby daughter and the trauma of what I experienced throughout the past 2 weeks, but the pain being caused to me by those who should have been there for me most.
To cap it all off, when my husband finally comes back in the house after his friends leave (sorry if my loud sobbing could be heard through the open window and bummed them out), he's completely hammered drunk in a way that is just scary. He can't barely stand up or talk. When I tell him that he can sleep in the spare bedroom tonight, he can't seem to understand. Shortly after he goes to the spare bedroom, I hear the gagging and he starts to vomit around the bedroom, not even attempting to get to the bathroom. I run to get him a bucket but by the time I get back, he's puked all in the fabric laundry basket, down the wall and across the carpet. It's especially gross since we ate spaghetti with clam sauce for dinner, so I know I can't leave that garlic and clam nastiness til morning. I proceed to get all the cleaning supplies out and clean it all up while telling him he should probably just let himself choke on it next time (not nice of me, but meh).
Now, I'm wide awake with no one to turn to. My husband and my parents are the only really close support people I had counted on and they have all left me completely high and dry, if not also adding to the trauma. I have a few good friends and other extended family but I don't want to burden them with this extremely messy situation. I wish I could have just stayed at the hospital where I had my procedure yesterday. The doctors and nurses there were so gentle and caring, I didn't have to take care of anyone but myself, I was allowed privacy and rest. My post-op nurse especially was so sweet and kind, I wished I could have just stayed there until I felt better to come home and take on all of these responsibilities.
Mainly, I just hate feeling so alone. While I hope to God no one very goes through this, it sucks feeling like I'm the only one trapped in the shittiest Venne diagram between the subreddits for AlAnon, RaisedbyNarcissists and TMFR.

I've been having wifi speed issues -- 1.5GB but speeds tend to drop to 1Mpbs in the evenings (anywhere from 10s - 2 minutes at a time) when I'm trying to watch streaming services. I've gone through 3 techs and 3 modems but no fix. Service was totally perfect last year (started in June) but in January, something happened that caused Internet to be completely gone. First, I was sent a new modem, but that did not fix the issue (still no Internet). Tech came and said there was an issue at the box (but did not specify). Internet came back, but that's when these slowdowns started to happen.
Second tech came and said the light was too high, so set it back to the threshold. Things were okay for about two weeks before the same issue started again. Third tech came but could not see anything wrong. He changed the splitter we were connected to hoping that might fix things. It did not. I asked for a new modem to see if it was a modem issue, and almost immediately, the same issue started occurring.
I cannot figure out how to reliably reproduce the issue. I don't get any slowdowns during the day. It seems to only happen at night, and it frequently interrupts whatever I'm watching (streams buffer).
I did find out that when it happens, restarting the modem fixes the issue! But then it comes back after about 6 days.
Really at my wits' end and hoping someone can help me out.
TL;DR wifi drops to super slow speeds for 30s-1min during evenings so I can’t reliably watch streaming. Restarting modem fixes it but problem comes back a few days later.

I have 2 x $2,000 CAD Air Canada gift cards for a total of $4,000 CAD that I will no longer be able to use due to some life events altering my originally intended dates I had planned to use these, so my loss is your gain!
I am seeking 80% paid via PayPal, Cash App, Venmo or Crypto.
These are NOT vouchers, but rather actual gift cards which contain no set expiration date, no restrictions and are transferable.
Gift cards can be used on both US and Canada versions of aircanada.com website for redeeming towards flights and it can also be used on aircanadavacations.com towards flight-inclusive vacation packages.
Please make sure you comment before sending me a message. Thanks!