My sister seems like the worst person in the world to me and I need some outside opinions on this. Right now, I'm a minor in middle school, I would not like to specify my age, and the sister mentioned in the title is 24. My oldest sister is currently 26. I'll call the sister I really hate Sarah (24), and the other one that I really love Katie (26). As more context, Katie works a great job in a big city, she's super independent, and she treats the family to lots of nice things. Sarah lives at home and freeloads off my parents. Sarah has diagnosed ADHD, depression, OCD, anxiety, and probably more that I don't know about. I understand that when she was little my parents had very different parenting styles and I know that lots of things traumatized her mostly parents and teachers. The thing is, ever since I was little, she's been the one traumatizing me. I remember very clearly there was this one time where she had locked me in her room again (she did this multiple times a week to me) so she could yell at me about things I didn't understand. I was probably between the ages of 3-5 at that time. I remember that one specific time I was crying really really hard and as a child if I cried too hard I would have this feeling like I would need to puke. This specific time I remember my mom was banging on my sisters door to tell her to let me out, and I remember thinking if I could just throw up on her bed them she could definitely let me out, so I forced myself to cry harder until I threw up, and she let me out. Even after that, she would still always shut me in a room with her, and since my parents told her that she wasn't allowed to lock the door with only me and her inside a room, she would just hold the door shut and I couldn't open it because she was 10+ years older than me. Even today I hate being in the same room as her alone even with the door open for that reason. From when I was in preschool to probably 2nd grade in elementary school, she would always argue super loudly with my parents, specifically my dad, and she would always scream at him to divorce my mom and I just remember it was really scary. In recent years, her depression has been bad, so I've been trying to help out. When she needs food to be cooked, I cook for her, and when she moved back to our house from her apartment, she didn't do any work and it was just me my parents and my oldest sister moving her stuff for her. This is important because of an argument we had today. My mom was helping me clean out my room because my cat had been sick so we decided to deep clean my room to have a better environment for her, and while my mom was wiping stuff down, I was fixing a waterbottle, which was a task I had put off for months. She walked to me, told me to help my mom, and then got mad at me when I told her I wanted to finish fixing my water bottle first. For context for the next part, she always yells at me about things I do wrong and how I'm so entitled all the time. I understand that the way I'm raised is very different than the way she was because my parents have changed a lot in 10 years. I hate it when she yells at me, I can't even defend myself or say anything back, and if I ever say something mean to her she can't take it because she's struggling with mental health and it impacts her so badly. I don't get it, she always tells me to tell her what she can fix, and when I do, I admit I say those things at not the best times like during argument and stuff, she gets so pressed about what I say. Apparently its ok for her to insult every family member, but they can't say anything back to her. (mostly me and my dad, she always yells at him about how my mom always does all the work around the house, which is mostly true, but I also see him putting in an effort to take on chores. He does work until 6-8pm every day, but my mom is almost the only one taking care of me. My sister acts so proud of herself when she drives me to class, which I'm grateful for, but then she insults my dad for not doing it. As a literal freeloader, I don't get why she thinks she gets to insult him so so much. I am a feminist, I get what she's saying, but my dad is far from the horrible man she probably sees him as.) I've been struggling with suicide ideation for around 4 years, I've always hated school because it kills my creativity and it makes my life feel like a never ending cycle, and I always use home as my safe space. Sarah ruins the safe space and makes me unable to enjoy my own home. She is a huge part of why I literally don't want to live. The argument today escalated because when she called me entitled and lazy for not helping my mom with cleaning my room, which I did previously, I had just stopped to fix my water bottle when she had started talking at me, and so I said she can't speak on that because when she was moving back to our house everyone in the family helped move furniture except for her. She got so angry, told me that I was throwing her depressive episode in her face, and told me I was demonizing her mental health. I understand that depression is hard to handle, I've had two friends go to both hospitals and recovery places for depression and attempts. I completely understand that depression stops you from doing things, but I don't think that those things should just be ignored either. It's ok for her to not be able to move her own things because of depression, but I don't think its ok for her to preach about it to me and call me a horrible person when I bring it up. I'm not blaming her for having depression, I'm just calling her out for being a hypocrite. Another problem I have with her is that she's always trying to parent me. When I was little, whenever she was crying and sobbing and screaming I always brought her water and tissue paper, but she did nothing for me. I remember Katie always taking care of me when my parents were to busy with Sarah. I love Katie so so much, she does so much for me, she inspires me so much, and whenever she raises her voice at me it's because I'm in danger and whenever she lectures me its because I actually did something wrong. I always listen to Katie because I always feel like she's qualified to tell me things, because she's a great person and I know she will never tell me to do something that she herself cannot do. I don't think Sarah is qualified to take care of me. I hate how she tries to act like a big sister to me when I'm literally ashamed to have the same last name as her. I don't know what to do, I can't get away from Sarah because she still lives in my parent's house, has no job, and has not shown any sign of a plan for her future. Please help, I just want to stop letting my life be this impacted by her.

Hey yall! I’ve been following this thread a few months. I’m a 32 year old female and I have basic knowledge of cars. Let’s say below basic..: but I follow directions well lol. I drive a 2012 ct200h with 193k so I’m sure yall know what issue I’m having…. DEATH RATTLE 😣😣.
Started maybe 6 months ago, rattles at startup and sometimes on acceleration. I went to my local Midas they did a tune up. Charged me a crazy amount for a tune up. Changed plugs, temp sensor etc. my check engine and coolant sensor lights disappeared for a while but the rattle came back and the check engine light. I’ve recently changed the oil and it was thick but not unusually murky or milky. So I think I should start with cleaning the EGR system.
My question is… am I capable? Is there a YouTube or step by step guide out there? Maybe my brother could do it.. but basically where to start? My mom left me this car when she passed so I’m trying to preserve it if I can. Thanks for your advice in advance!!!

Hello, All
I basically have a Header in the root layer containg 3 buttons, sign in, log in and log out.
I would like to show log out only when the user is logged in and the others when not.
the problem i am facing right now is, that when i check the session in my header component, it only checks when it is first renderd, meaning if i logged out or logged in it the Header does not re render to change it.
here is what I'm doing now :

"use client" const navbarHeader = () => { const [isAuth, setIsAuth] = useState(false); useEffect(() => { (async () => { const isAuth = await isAuthenticated(); setIsAuth(isAuth); })(); }); return ( 
 
 {!isAuth&& اشترك} {!isAuth&& تسجيل الدخول} { isAuth && } 
 
 ) } export default navbarHeader 

I have a state "isAuth" to check if the user is authenticated. I can change the state when logging in by passing the "setIsAuth" to the log out button
however my problem is when i log in, I have another form for logging in and I can not access the state from that form.

'use client' export default function Login() { const router = useRouter() const onSubmit = async data =>{ const bodyJson = JSON.stringify(data); const response = await fetch('/api/users/login', { method: 'POST', headers: { 'Content-Type': 'application/json' }, body: bodyJson }) const responseBody = await response.json(); if(response.ok) router.push(`/`) } return (   ); } 

is there a way to achieve this
or if there is a completely another way, please guide me

Just wanted to update and thank this subreddit for helping through the past year and a few months, and give an update to anyone who might be in a 1st DUI situation.
Arrested for DUI in February 2023 in PA(0.12, no accident, just simply pulled over). Completed ARD (12 HR Course, 30 Day suspension, $700 in fines, 6 months unsupervised probation). Started ARD in May 2023, completed class, fines, and all requirements by end of May 2023). Released early from ARD in August of 2023.
Due to the completion of ARD everything from this was supposed to be expunged, however come May 2024 everything is still flagging on a background check. I am currently still working with my legal council to get this expunged, however they basically make it impossible to get a straight answer on how to get everything done and make you jump through lots of hoops and red tape.
My biggest concern through all of this was by far was the criminal record side of things, as I am 23 years old and a young professional in my field. In January 2024, I started a new sales role with an extremely large and well known corporation in my industry and was absolutely terrified about the background check. I ended up coming clean to my hiring manager before the background check, and they were completely understanding as well as never brought the incident up again!
Fast forward to May now, I receive a call from a director at quite literally my dream company asking me if I’d be interested in a new role opening up since they were looking for someone who had past experience using certain systems that I had with my old job I was at when the DUI occurred. This job was a massive pay bump, I would get to move back to my hometown near family and friends, benefits were better, overall just a huge upgrade from what I am doing now.
Then comes the EXTREMELY rigorous background check. I was absolutely terrified I was going to lose this opportunity, as well as I didn’t want to mess up the job I was at currently by telling them I was leaving and having the new job not work out. I always have thought about background checks as a “only give information if asked” situation. However, with them wanting me to start at the end of the month, I simply just couldn’t take it anymore and I brought it up to my hiring manager again. Thank god I did as they were so happy that I was proactive and told them, and informed me it wouldn’t be an issue, and that it might be a different story if I hadn’t been upfront with them!
The charge showed bright as day on my background check, and all I had to do was provide documentation to HR that I had completed the diversion program, as they still hadn’t updated my docket yet saying I have.
Starting my dream job at the end of the month and I couldn’t be happier and more relieved I was able to take this opportunity!!
In my personal opinion when it comes to job hunting and background checks, if it is just a simple DUI no extentuiting circumstances, I would guage the rapport you have with the hiring manager and make that judgement call if you disclose to them or not. I knew mine was going to show up and in my specific situation wanted to control and own up to the situation so there were no surprises later.
The last year and couple months have been the most stressful of my life being a recent college graduate, and I would say forced me to grow up so incredibly fast.
For someone out there like me who was constantly reading this Reddit and having major anxiety, depression, and other issues due to being arrested and charged with a DUI, I promise it gets better with time and getting through it is a hard but good lesson! You will get past this and overcome this, and down the line with it will just be a blip in your timeline. However, always remember how this situation made you feel (I wear a wristband on my wrist every day that I had grabbed from the DMV when I was dealing with my license issues) and use that to make sure whenever you think about making the choice to drive even after a few drinks, YOU DONT!!
Post year and a couple months, I still drink socially, however if I ever have a single drink my car is staying where it is or I won’t have a sip if I know I have my car out with me and need to get it home. Buy that uber!
You are human. You made a mistake. You will prevail and make it out on the other side a better person because of it!!

Author note: The Cryopod to Hell is a Reddit-exclusive story with over three years of editing and refining. As of this post, the total rewrite is 2,182,000+ words long! For more information, check out the link below:
What is the Cryopod to Hell?
Join the Cryoverse Discord server!
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...................................
(Previous Part)
(Part 001)
"Hell yeah, I wanna go exploring." Jason says to Calanthra with a smile. "How do we navigate around Ripspace though? Traveling to other galaxies is going to take billions of years, right? Surely, there's a shortcut."
"Ripspace is not as it seems." Calanthra explains, gesturing grandly to the epic sight before them. "It is a connection between the past and the present; the near and far. The further away or the further back you want to travel, the higher the price you will have to pay."
Jason's smile vanishes. "Wait... you can use Ripspace to travel back in time?!"
"No." Calanthra clarifies. "Time is linear. We cannot travel through it. Some can slow it down or speed it up. A rare few can even pause it for a short while. But moving forward and backward is impossible. Countless have attempted to do so over the eons, but all have failed."
She looks at Jason meaningfully. "Many Rulers would wipe out galaxies if it might let them obtain such a power. The fact they still haven't proves it is impossible."
Jason nods slowly. "I won't lie. I have a lot of regrets. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and save my daughter from dying."
"Everyone has regrets." Calanthra muses, looking off into the distance. "I have plenty, myself. But it's better this way. There would be pandemonium if time travel ever became possible."
She pauses before continuing with her explanation. "While we cannot go back in time, we can look back into time. Pinpointing exact moments in history is difficult, to say the least, but it is possible to use Ripspace to search for key moments in intergalactic history."
"So it's like a massive seer-stone." Jason muses aloud. "But wait, didn't you imply earlier that you used Ripspace to travel to the Milky Way from Andromeda? How does it allow you to jump between galaxies? Are other species using Ripspace for intergalactic travel?"
"You can indeed use Ripspace to travel to distant reaches of space." Calanthra explains. "But... you have to pay a certain price. Akasha's Barriers still protect every galaxy. Cosmics cannot travel between them easily. Mortals can, but the price we must pay is unimaginably steep. That is also the reason my mother perished not long after arriving in the Milky Way and giving birth to me."
The Fairy Monarch sighs softly.
"My people used the power of Ripspace to travel to several other galaxies. We were fortunate that the Creator had died, allowing us to take up residence here in secret, but the Angels, Titans, and Dragons were still a threat we could not overlook. Later, the Volgrim rose up too, and that was something that worried us for a while. Particularly when their Sentinels began to rapaciously erase the lives of innumerable Sentients."
She waves her hand. "Ultimately, very few galaxies didn't have a Ruler in power. Traveling to one that did meant flipping a coin and praying our people could avoid their gaze. Sadly, time has shown me that we were likely unsuccessful. I have lost contact with all my sisters across the cosmos."
The image of innumerable galaxies floating in the distance changes before Jason's eyes. Calanthra manipulates some unseen power, causing herself and Jason to suddenly materialize directly in front of a beautiful spiral galaxy.
"This is our Milky Way." Calanthra explains, waving her hand to conjure another, far bigger galaxy beside it. "And this is Andromeda."
"Is it just me or does Andromeda seem... brighter?" Jason asks.
"Andromeda contains far more interstellar particles, cosmic energy, and latent magical power than the Milky Way." Calanthra says. "Of course, in the ancient past, it had even more than it does now, but such is the way of entropy and Chaos."
Jason nods. "How exactly do galaxies lose power over time? Doesn't this feel self-defeating in a way?"
"Every Ruler enters the Unending War with a strategy." Calanthra says, motioning with her hands to disperse the galaxies and reveal images of ghostly creatures, some standing on two legs, some on four, and plenty that appear as mere blobs of energy. "I cannot pretend to know the thoughts of such high and mighty beings, especially as I am a mere mortal myself. Even so, I can definitively state that there are Rulers who seek to put as much galactic energy into their initial creations as possible, while others wish to adopt a more energy-efficient growth-model."
She pokes her finger against Jason's chest. "Take the angels and humans, for instance. The Creator poured the vast majority of his power into creating a galaxy full of Apex Cosmics. At their peak, the angels as a whole commanded enough power to flatten other galaxies. But what did they do instead? They fought with one another, killing themselves due to sheer boredom, if not outright ego."
"I see." Jason says, brushing Calanthra's finger away. "So the Creator dumped all the Milky Way's energy into the angels. I take it this is uncommon among Rulers?"
"Of course. It's a wasteful strategy and usually loses Rulers the War for that Eternity." Calanthra says dismissively. "The Timeless used a different strategy. She created the fairies as mere mortals that evolved over time, gaining greater and greater power through their own efforts. This meant that instead of devouring Andromeda's abundant Cosmic energy, they could slowly sap off its excess over time. For you see, the more energy a galaxy has, the more it can produce. If you ration it long enough, you can reap more of it across the duration of an Eternity."
"That makes sense." Jason concludes. "It's like a Rush build in an RTS versus an Economy build. You sacrifice long-term gains in exchange for short-term power. The problem is, with Akasha's Barriers preventing Rulers from attacking their enemies straight away, a Rush build is dumb because you're just wasting your resources and sacrificing Cosmic energy when you'll actually need it."
Calanthra blinks twice. She looks at Jason with a strange expression, then turns away for a moment, trying to understand the strange terms he's used. They mostly make sense, but some of them are a little...
She shakes her head and returns to the topic at hand. "Right. Rush strategy versus Economy. Of... course. Well, in any case, there is one advantage toward the first strategy. If you drain all the energy from your galaxy, it becomes less appealing for other Rulers to attack. Because Andromeda was so large and still filled with Cosmic power even billions of years after the Expansion Era, it stoked the hunger of the Dark Ones. Meanwhile, the Milky Way only needs to deal with the Plague, which is threatening for mortals, but manageable for Cosmics. In that respect, we've gotten off much luckier."
"I get the bigger picture now." Jason says with a nod. He turns to look back at the cosmos before him. "So, what about all this? Are we gonna go exploring, or what?"
"In order to explore the universe presented here, we would need to make sacrifices we cannot afford. I think you would find the price most disagreeable. But there is something we can explore freely..."
She waves her hand, and instantly, the brilliant and beautiful cosmic view of the universe vanishes.
In its place, Jason and Calanthra suddenly appear inside a dead, barren wasteland. Brown and grey dirt rises up in huge dunes stretching off into the distance. Fallen towers made of gold and stone lay on their sides, or stick into the ground, buried nearly up to their tops as they point diagonally toward the sky.
And speaking of the sky, it glows faintly grey, as if some weak, pale imitation of a star were trying to shine through a thin atmosphere clouded by dust and grime. The very air itself smells of sulfur and toxins, making Jason's nose curl up when he takes a breath.
"Ugh... what the hell? Where are we now?" Jason asks, as he turns and looks around at the dead world surrounding him.
"An Ancient Domain." Calanthra says softly. "A remnant of a dead universe. All life stripped away. All hope lost. Septillions of different Sentient species, gone. Their mortals, their Cosmics, reduced to dust by the Contraction."
The Wordsmith frowns. "This Ancient Domain represents a dead universe? But how can that be possible? If the Heat Death played out and all the galaxies faded to cosmic dust, then there already wouldn't be anything left. And then, if the entire universe collapsed into a singularity before exploding again, there definitely wouldn't be anything left behind resembling physical matter."
"You perceive reality through just three dimensions." Calanthra intones. "Time and space can be considered two dimensions. Cosmic Power is another dimension. I must admit I do not understand how Ancient Domains have continued to exist across countless Eternities, and I don't know how they retain a vaguely familiar form... but I can assure you that in spite of bending logic itself, they do exist and they can provide tangible benefits to those dedicated to exploring them."
"You've been exploring them, then?" Jason asks, turning away from the dead world to scrutinize Calanthra's phantasmal image.
"Me, a little. But often, I dispatch my descendants to scour these Ancient Domains for things of value. It may surprise you, but there are powerful artifacts, vengeful spirits, and all manner of other inter-dimensional horrors lurking within these so-called dead-lands."
Calanthra pauses. She shifts her posture to look at Jason deeply.
"And that is why I've brought you here, Jason. It's time for me to get down to the crux of the matter and breach the subject that I find most important."
He nods. "I'm listening."
"It's like this." Calanthra explains. "The Ancient Domains are unfathomably broad. Think of how large a universe is. Think of how many universes have existed. Think of how much space my people have yet to explore."
She pauses.
"The gains we have received have made my people stronger than you would expect. Among those gains are Yredelemnul's Eye and other leftover remnants of power that many dead ancient Rulers lost when their Existences became forfeit. While their tangible Existences may have perished, their spirits sometimes live on in these broad, unending dead universes..."
"That's why you approached me." Jason says, while crossing his arms and leaning on the ball of his heel. "You said you wanted an alliance with humanity. You... want humans to help you explore the Ancient Domains?"
"Trust is hard to come by among mortals, Cosmics, and Rulers." Calanthra says simply. "I never would have considered allying with the humans before, but you have shown me the broadness of your mind during the debate against your clone and the commander of your military. To some, you certainly appear naive, but to me I see an opportunity I would be foolish to ignore."
She continues. "The Fairies cannot reproduce efficiently. Every fairy we send into the Ancient Domain is one less fairy we have among our Empire. We already have a difficult time replenishing our numbers through the remaining Male Fairies, but do you think it is easy for us to reproduce with other species?"
Jason slowly shakes his head. "Blinker and Kar's children were all crocodiles, not fairies. From that, I can only imagine that most of the time, your mating attempts do not create more of yourselves, but instead more non-fairy children."
"That's exactly correct." Calanthra replies. "But that all changed recently when I found out one of your human males somehow spontaneously altered his genetic profile to become a fairy. There is no doubt about it; Samuel Baker harnesses all the capability to reproduce that you humans do, as well as the trueborn powers of any male fairy."
"So... are you seeking a marriage alliance with Samuel Baker?" Jason asks, scratching his head in confusion. "You could just ask him yourself, you know?"
"This is not about one man." Calanthra retorts. "Samuel Baker, if he were to join our ranks, would certainly help us stave off extinction for a while longer. But that is hardly worth all this melodrama and me taking you to the Ancient Domain in person..."
Jason's eyes widen in realization. "I see! You... you're thinking that if my magic could make one male fairy, I could surely make another, and another..."
"Yes, precisely." Calanthra says, revealing a beautiful smile. "Additionally, if humans were to assist us in scouring these Ancient Domains, we could make great gains together. There is plenty of room for another species to join ours in locating powerful artifacts and other items capable of Uplifting us."
"You want to become Cosmics still." Jason muses. "You haven't resigned yourselves to your current fate."
"Quite the opposite." Calanthra says. "The curse placed upon us is unbreakable by those beneath the realm of Ruler. As I said before, the fairies have lost this Eternity's war. However, while we cannot Ascend any longer, that does not mean the humans are subject to the same limitation. If we could groom a human into becoming the Milky Way's Ruler, we could finally break free of our shackles by virtue of having a powerful ally."
She pauses, looking meaningfully at the Wordsmith.
"If the Demons or the Volgrim were to become our Ruler, we would not enjoy such a benefit. At best, we would only maintain the status quo, and at worst, they might eradicate us out of fear of having an unsightly tumor in their midst."
"Haha." Jason laughs. "So you brought me here to show your sincerity. I get it. Well, I'm definitely not opposed to helping you. Blinker is my good friend. If she were to ask me, I'd definitely say yes to just about any request."
Jason turns away. He walks a few feet off to the side and pauses, standing to gaze out at the Ancient Domain and its endlessly rolling plains which stretches off into the infinite distance...
"Here's what I can do." Jason says. "My people are already working on laying out the options for humanity and where our fellow men and women will depart over the next few weeks. Some will travel to Maiura. Some will go to Sharmur. Some will stay on Tarus II. It's no trouble at all to put Pixiv on the list, especially as I was already planning to do that. I even have some other places I'd like to include, too..."
"Such as Camael's Cube?" Calanthra asks with a smile. "Or do you perhaps mean Chrona and Hope's Hall of Heroes?"
Jason nearly jumps out of his skin. He whirls around to look at Calanthra with shock in his eyes. "What?! How do you know about Chrona? How do you also know about where Hope has been hiding?? I don't even know that much!"
"For those who are talented in magic, it is possible to see through many lies and deceptions." Calanthra says calmly, unfazed by the alarm on Jason's face. "Your Spynet Sphere isn't so different from the many options I have at my disposal. I have many means to keep an eye on the galaxy. And while Diablo does not know exactly where or what Chrona is, he certainly knows of its general existence."
Her smile turns cold. "I would advise you not to take Unarin lightly either, Wordsmith. That ancient creature is more capable than you can imagine. He is hiding a great many secrets from the galaxy... secrets he does not know that I am aware of. If he were to learn of the true extent of my information web, I fear that he would dispatch a handful of High Psions to eliminate the fairy species tomorrow."
Calanthra's words truly rock Jason to his core. All along, he assumed the precautions he put on Chrona, precautions that fooled even Hope, would make his hidden dimension impossible to detect.
But how could he be so naive?
As the daughter of an Apex Cosmic, Calanthra must have her means, and that likely means Unarin and Diablo aren't too far behind either.
"Shit." Jason curses, lowering his head as a flicker of anger smolders in his heart. "I was too complacent. Chrona isn't secure, which means it's only a matter of time before more Cosmics learn of its existence. How long before they can find its exact location and invade it?"
"Calm yourself, child." Calanthra says soothingly. "The situation is not that dire. After all, Chrona still exists within a highly accelerated timespace. Any biological entity that wishes to travel there could suffer severe after-effects. Furthermore, the entities born inside will be too adapted to living within a higher dimension, so they won't pose much threat to the creatures of realspace."
She waves her hand. "Let's move on, Jason. I want to discuss other matters before dying of old age."
The Wordsmith cools himself off. He inhales deeply, then returns his attention to her.
"Alright. What next, then?"
"Fairies are not the only Sentients capable of entering Ancient Domains." Calanthra explains. "There are others who rarely appear inside here. That is why exploring these domains can be dangerous. The good news is that Cosmics have little need to enter these barren lands, as most of the heritages, treasures, and other such gains you might find inside are only useful to mortals. There are exceptions, but they are so rare as to be a needle found within ten million haystacks. A waste of effort better spent simply progressing one's Cosmic power the ordinary way."
"So what you're saying is, when you send fairies into an Ancient Domain, they can die as a result of crossing paths with Sentients from other galaxies." Jason concludes. "But if you had an army of humans to enter with you, your people would be a lot safer."
"Safety in numbers, yes. And you humans are... uniquely advantaged in Ancient Domain exploration." Calanthra says mysteriously. "Before that, though... do you know what the Power of Imagination is, Wordsmith?"
Jason raises an eyebrow. "Imagination? Like the mental ability to visualize stuff in your head? Yeah. It's not that complicated to understand."
"Ah, that's where you're wrong." Calanthra chides gently. "Imagination is the key to magical power. Imagination, Conception, Visualization, these are all key capabilities powerful maguses and sorcerors use to uplift their capabilities! And as it turns out, most Sentients are actually quite terrible at conceptualizing thoughts into imagery."
She gestures grandly. "Just take the Volgrim! You may think they are a powerful Sentient species, but in fact the Volgrim have terrible imaginations. They are stodgy, dull, and lack a great deal of creativity. All the gains their Technopaths make through technology are developed via brute force. They slowly improve their technological prowess by minute fractions over long periods of time, eventually resulting in a large and cohesive buildup."
"At the same time, the Psions Uplift themselves through meditation and sitting motionless for thousands of years at a time. Can a species capable of such incredible feats of drudgery also possess limitless imagination? I think not."
"Maybe the reason they're able to sit still for so long is because they live in their imagination?" Jason posits. "In which case their power of imagination should be quite formidable, right?"
"Possible, but unlikely." Calanthra says with a wave of her hand. "Never mind that. The point I'm trying to make is that humans have an extremely high affinity for magic. If your people were to ally with mine, we could teach you our ways. You could help us through your Wordsmithing and superior genetics, creating more fairies and humans alike. This would create a recursive cycle that would continually bolster both our species to greater and greater heights!"
She lowers her voice back to normal. "An alliance with humanity would have other benefits. You humans are equally adept in technology and magic both. You are versatile, capable of learning any skill provided you have time to devote to your studies. The bursts of inspiration you receive also allow you to make large jumps in capability as well, which could mean that in a relatively short period, you might even be capable of challenging the Volgrim."
Jason nods. "That does sound tempting, Calanthra. I'm willing to help you, but I won't demand my people join the fairies. It would be better if those who were the most interested did so instead."
Calanthra playfully twirls a finger through her hair. "Well. My daughters are all beautiful. Perhaps you should make mention that the fairies are... aggressively interested in copulation?"
"COUGH COUGH!" Jason wheezes, taking a step back as he asses her bold choice of words. "Yeah! Uh, I can probably- I'll let everyone know about that too. Obviously!"
Calanthra chuckles. "Such a cute boy. Well, it seems I've accomplished what I wanted. Let's return for now. You can always pay Ripspace a visit later."
"I will." Jason says, nodding seriously. "Waypoint."
Calanthra raises an eyebrow. "You think you can return here without a Ruler's power?"
"Won't know unless I try." Jason smiles back.
...
Not long after, Jason and Calanthra emerge back into Realspace. He shivers as he feels the Eye of Yredelemnul fixating on him from behind, but Calanthra quickly reactivates the Formation of Light, sending the sliver of a Ruler back to the shadows so it can no longer interact with the physical world.
"You know, Jason." Calanthra says. "You are a Candidate. You have the capability to become a Ruler someday."
"I am?" Jason asks, before thinking back to a conversation in the past. "Oh yeah, someone did mention that to me before. But... eh. I don't know. Becoming a Ruler sounds awful."
"Awful?" Calanthra asks. "How so?"
"It seems... lonely." Jason says, his voice softening. He looks at the space between the four statues, where Yredelemnul's Eye has disappeared. "Imagine all your loved ones dying, but you're stuck behind, living through the end of an Eternity, which takes trillions of years before Heat Death finally eradicates everything. Then comes the next Eternity, where you can remake your species again... but it won't be the same. Even if you remake your loved ones, it won't really be them."
Jason lowers and shakes his head. "That sort of life doesn't suit me."
"I understand why you'd think that way." Calanthra says. "In fact, you are suffering from the same affliction that plagues all Candidates who began their Existences as Biologicals. We have too many ties to the mortal world, so the majority of Biologicals who ascend to the rank of Ruler... fall to their non-biological opponents."
"As for the things which are not biological..." Calanthra says, looking at Jason with disgust. "You should already know what they are."
"Highly evolved Artificial Intelligences?" Jason guesses.
"That's right." Calanthra affirms. "There are several tiers of power a superintelligence can possess. The Volgrim have taken great care to prevent anything above a Beta Core from forming in the Milky Way, but once, a long time ago... they made a huge mess by accidentally creating the Milky Way's first Alpha Core Synthmind."
Calanthra chuckles. "The stupid fools didn't only create an Alpha Core, they gave it autonomy in the hopes it would be able to stop the wars between their factions. They built indestructible bipedal bodies for its splintered intelligences, and called them... Sentinels. Luckily, they were able to defeat the Alpha Core before it ascended further, but countless other biological species have failed at that juncture, creating an Alpha Core that ultimately devoured the full power of their galaxy for itself."
A chill trickles down Jason's spine. "You're saying the vast majority of Rulers are actually Alpha Core AIs? AIs that control entire galaxies?!"
"No, Jason." Calanthra counters. "Alpha Cores can defeat advanced civilizations. But there is one Existence higher than an Alpha Core, a tier that can only be reached once it has swallowed the power of a galaxy."
"That would be an Omega Core. a sentient artificial intelligence that has become Ruler over one or more galaxies. And in Akasha's game, more than 90% of all Rulers are estimated to be these superior lifeforms."
"It is for that reason that these highly adaptable entities are known as The Evolved."

In the middle of 2023 I ended up with a work comp claim and was moved to a different location for employment. The manger has been completely awful since I came back from my sick leave. Upper management has has several meeting with me that are frankly bullshit. Here’s my list
-there have been several lies about my attendance. I called out because my car broke down and they tried to say that I connected anyone. I had call records. The manager didn’t answer when I called so I called someone else to be in the 4 hour call out window. I got in trouble for this.
-I told the manger 2 days in advance I wouldn’t be able to attended a staff meeting. They labeled it a no call no show/ un excused absence. I clearly explained my dog was dying, it was my day off originally and I wasent going to keep him suffering.
-following this the manager called me a liar, expressed I was in trouble, talked about my personal reason for calling out in front of the clients and e caregiver for. This interaction was then spread to everyone including my personal information from the client.

• The manager locked me out of work in cold weather know I was going to the work house -taking away my shifts

-constantly micromanaging me/ telling me to do one thing and when I do it getting on to me. -forcing me to come back to work unpaid only for me to get there and I don’t need to do anything.
-calling me on my days off
-calling me while on medical leave about things 100% unrelated to me. He called me 5 times then had a text message exchange about an items he saw me put away on my last day of work. I haven’t been at work for 4 days so several other people would have had contact with this item but yet he harassed me about it.
-my job is refusing to now have any communication with me.
With all of this I feel I am being retaliated against or at the very least harassed and treated differently. This began immediately after my work comp claim. I worked at this company for 4 years and NEVER got in trouble. I never had this many issues or treated this way from not only the manager but the entire company. While I have not been terminated the emotional stress is affecting me and I’m having panic attacks daily while working. What damages can I sue for? Can they really treat me bad because I got hurt at work and I just have to take it?

The 3 basic parameters of hashtag #Valzubiriagenda:

1. We artists and everyone else can write and self-publish art- and artist-related books: memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs. Books are forever. Pamphlets and brochures are not books.
2. We announce a schedule of increasing prices of our art pieces, which includes quantities (scarcity numbers) per price point and overall (the total quantity of art pieces we might ever make). This helps art traders, art investors and art collectors speculate or even stop speculating and instead join a community of investors working together to hopefully skyrocket to the higher announced prices in a shorter span of time.
3. We can use the NFT world, because NFTs provide the tracking (who owns what) and trading.

We can also not be involved with NFTs. Stores and individuals can help sell art using online presence and our catalogs in the stores. If this trends, or once this trends, even expensive art can be sold by neighboring businesses, without exclusivity. Commission systems do not have to be standardized. Art investors can produce their own catalogs to leave at the cafés. Even the cafés can produce their own catalogs.
Valzubiriagenda NFTs
NFTs only came about a few years ago. But I had been working on this since the 1990s. I wrote a book, Valzubiriagenda, along with fellow artist Silverio Perez, and released it in 2018 (Amazon and elsewhere), tackling everything related to #1 & #2. We'll come up with #3 in a later book/ memoi marketing book.
Any artist, including tangible artists can release 10,000 NFTs if the artist chooses to do so. For tangible artists, the NFT first becomes an Art Commission Contract for sight unseen, yet-to-be made art. Once the art is made, the NFT becomes proof of ownership that the actual, tangible art is theirs.
Warehousing our tangible art
Another related idea is that the tangible art may be warehoused by the artist so that the NFT traders continue to trade. This means that even 10-ton 10-foot tall sculptures can be owned and traded by anyone without worrying about shipping, reshipping, scratches, smudges, parts breaking off, etc. The newness of the pieces remain because they are stored by the artist, source, gallery, etc. The art piece gets shipped to the art collector, the ultimate owner.
An artist who makes ceramic coffee mugs - smaller art pieces, can release 10,000 NFTs with a schedule of increasing prices so that NFT traders can trade immediately. The 10,000 coffee mugs can get damaged, so as they are made, they continue to be stored by the artist, until the time when art collectors decide to have the art pieces shipped to them.
Why only now?
I decided to write as many book-length memoirs as I can before I came out to promote this.
I'm an artist and an author. Both need time to "master." I would not even fully use "master" on myself, because there's always something new, even to my own art, my own writing and publishing.

I am now claiming that I'm the visual artist who has produced the most artist memoirs in the world. I have 5 on Amazon. I count Valzubiriagenda as both a marketing book and a memoir-of-sorts, because it has a lot of my own life lessons on writing and publishing. I would not care to contest my claim of having the most memoirs. I will release 5 more over the next 3 years.

BARTER! Get help to write, photograph art and publish your books!
Anyone can hire 11 ghostwriters for 11 memoirs. If you can make art, but you cannot write, then barter your forever art with those who can help you produce forever books.
I don't feel the pressure of writing and publishing because I feel my focus should be on art students and art experts who would study my art and my books 100 years from now. Don't expect relatives and friends to read your books.
I call myself the Dollman
For my NFTs, I am proposing to make dioramas - my original, costumed, bejeweled porcelain dolls in backdrops that will also have precious metals and gemstones. This way I can incorporate precious metals and gemstones in my work, to make sure that people perceive my art as expensive, just in case I myself don't become "famous" - there's no need to get world famous. We are artists and all we need to do is to satisfy the art niche.
Use your laptop now!
I will encourage you to start writing your book-length memoir. Write, Edit and then Self-publish it. Get help. Why wait a hundred years for someone to write about you when all you need is a laptop and a nearby coffee shop.
Don't start counting chickens before the eggs hatch. I have encountered a lot of would-be writers who immediately see themselves as bestselling. world famous assets to society. Two even wanted me to sign NDAs (Nondisclosure agreements), because they did not want me to steal their book ideas.
Here's a suggestion. I would not personally do it. From one manuscript can come 2 books: The Original Draft (unedited, with misspellings, considered to be an art piece, scanned pages(?) of your handwritten original effort), and The Final Edition (edited).
PROVENANCE!
Another way to enhance our investability, tradability and collectability is PROVENANCE - how art ownership proceeds through time. The way this can be done is also through publishing books. Everyone can write their memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs, including traders, investors and art collectors. In effect, we artists can continue to be included or mentioned in even more books, without any additional effort by us.
You as an investor, reseller, trader, art collector should be able to publish a catalog with 250 works by 250 different artists, but they need to agree to this right from the start - it's your money, you should require them to follow your version of the hashtag #valzubiriagenda parameters, which preferably should include permission for you to publish their art. Why would you track down 250 artists later?
No exclusive contracts
If you're a café, you can call for artists, and come up with a book with for example, 30 artists, with a chapter devoted to each artist's profile and images of the artist's art.
You can distribute your catalogs to businesses and individuals near and far and online.
The book Valzubiriagenda even cites that funeral homes and janitors closets can sell art, with or without exclusivity. Airline catalogs can include million dollar art pieces. Car manufacturers, showrooms and even car repair shops can sell art as well. Everyone should be able to do this, anywhere in the world, especially not just because of the pandemic, but right now, we are in really bad economies.
What's with the name #Valzubiriagenda
I was into conspiracy theories in 2018, and this term, "The Mandela Effect," was popular. I had read many times that an artist coined the term, but I had to research online, for her name, many times, before remembering it. I'm not good at remembering names. It took me a year and a half to finally tell you that Fiona Broome coined "The Mandela Effect."
I also thought I might have to research trademarks and copyrights just to come up with a generic name. So I decided on "Valzubiriagenda." I was not really sure at first, but I decided to use it as the title for my book (with co-authoartist Silverio Perez) so that there would be no turning back and I can move on.
Am I a FUTURIST?
Someone I recently met this May 2022 just called me a futurist.
In the 1990s, I proposed to a pension fund that they can raise billions of dollars, especially for emergencies, or as needed, or out of desperation, if the pension fund purchases a quantity of art from an artist who not only has a current, reasonable price, but an announced future price that the artist wants to reach.
That future price would obviously be higher than the current price. The art commission contract for multiple art pieces can be taken to the fund's financial lender for a loan. The higher future price can be used for financing purposes.
The pension fund's treasurer, a publicly elected official, said this idea might work, but we had to keep this a secret and discuss this some more, because other pension funds might copy and do this prematurely. This idea had to come from the two of us. The treasurer needed his votes and I needed credentials.
Added into the pot was my idea that I, as the artist, will also write one book-length artist memoir. This was and still is a strong factor, because the leadership and marketing books I had read then mentioned a strong tip. If you want to advance in your field, write a full-length book that is related to the field.
Unfortunately, the elected official, the treasurer of the pension fund, who was also a friend, passed away - he was old and had ailments. At that point in time, I cannot just approach another pension fund treasurer to share this idea with.
I realized I had to write a few memoirs. I needed to set an example for other artists, so I needed to write more than one memoir. Then I felt I should also make ready another book - the how-to of what I'm up to. I wrote Valzubiriagenda, which was a memoir of sorts. I knew how long it would take me to write a book, so I had to make sure I can also consider this book a memoir.
In 2008, I imagined that someone like Bernie Madoff, or a fund like Lehman Brothers, would be desperate enough to use this to save themselves and their companies. I was not ready. I had only written 1 manuscript for a memoir.
In 2012, I released Dollman the Musical, A Memoir of an Artist as a Dollmaker. Once again, I was not ready because writing it depressed me a little, and I knew I had to write more.
In 2014, I released 3 memoirs, and re-released Dollman the Musical. Besides releasing regular books, I released special editions of the 4 books, which had a "Special Secret Insert for Bankers," which explains my ideas of an announced schedule of exponentially increasing prices, to satisfy investors, and the publication of artist memoirs, to satisfy art collectors.
In 2014, I also issued out a press release. Google "Can Billion Dollar Artist Save Investors and World Economy Valentino Zubiri PRWeb August 19 2014" and you will see the press release.
What I did was stake a claim on my ideas. I did not promote my books and the press release. I just wanted them to stay online, like a sleeping giant or a dormant volcano. I even designed 3 of the book covers to look like indie books from the 1980s. I was planting the seeds, thinking they will eventually grow and bear fruit in the future.
In 2015, I was interviewed by Richard Syrett, about one of my memoirs, Hocus Pocus Lately. This book is my memoir with paranormal stories. I could have pursued promoting my paranormal stories, but I wanted to be known first as a visual artist and memoirist, so I allowed myself one interview related to Hocus Pocus Lately. Richard Syrett has(had?) his own syndicated radio show, The Conspiracy Show with Richard Syrett, about the paranormal. He also guest hosts on Coast to Coast AM, another internationally syndicated show about the paranormal.
In 2018, I released Valzubiriagenda (co-authored by artist Silverio Perez, a fellow artist). Finally, this book is "the how-to of what I'm to."
I'm going to end this with some strangeness. In 1986, a lady at a religious gathering went into a trance and left a good number of messages. Supposedly, anyone who got into a trance would have messages, but once the trance was over, the person would not remember what was said.
I was not part of the group, but the lady turned her head to face me. She "foretold" that whatever I would decide to do in the future, it will take time, but it will be the right thing. This is one of my stories in one of my memoirs, Hocus Pocus Lately.
The Tulipmania of 1634-37
I discovered that there was this incident of rare tulips becoming collectible during the Dutch Golden Age. There were tulips so rare and so well-desired that their prices equaled to that of a house. You can read more about this online (Wikipedia) or watch a few YouTube videos about it.
Here is the most useful idea that I gleaned from the Tulipmania. The tulip bulbs remained safe inside nurseries. The traders were carrying the deeds of ownership to the tulip bulbs.
Then NFTs came to the forefront
I started learning PHP, an HTML scripting language, and MySQL, the database that PHP can connect to in the background, in 1999, when there were only 3 books about PHP and MySQL at the bookstores.
By 2014, I was trying to figure out how to make the "ledger," or database that can be used to update ownership and who can be contacted. If we are trading art, then the art ownership should be updated.
Then NFTs came about. This can be used as our ledger. Everyone can immediately trade NFTs of future, yet-to-be made art pieces, especially because it takes time to make tangible art.
NFTs actually went a step ahead, by allowing digital art to be traded.
The only setback with NFTs, in my opinion, is that it still lacks a commission system for resellers and representatives.
For example, if a café wants to represent me, then they can promote me at their café and on their online pages. If I make one piece of art that will be exclusively represented by a gallery, then that commission will be different and more specific. As ownership is transferred, the subsequent owners should be able to reset the commission. We should also have the option of giving commissions to hundreds of representatives at one time with different percentages if need be.
The recent crypto crash
Lately, we have observed that NFTs and cryptocurrencies have been behaving like the stock market and other markets. They have been fluctuating.
I believe that it is time for a trend which discourages fluctuation of prices.
I have also seen YouTube videos where social influencers are encouraging us to be on the lookout for exponentially profitable ventures, because we have all seen this happen with the exponential increase of Bitcoin and Ethereum.
Let's see if #Valzubiriagenda trends
We can announce present and future art prices. The galleries won't do this (yet?) because they follow a more traditional approach to the business of art.
We have a choice of using incrementally or exponentially increasing prices. We still reserve the right to change things in the future, so everyone should know to follow the latest update.
If this trends, if you as an artist simply announces that you will write an artist memoir, or that you will include the future works in future art books, you might have more art traders, investors and collectors approaching you.
Get your pen, paper and calculator
Imagine yourself as an artist, where you are right now. Let's just say you still do not have a book about yourself and your art yet. Imagine now that you have a memoir out there. Don't you think it makes sense to charge more than what you are charging now? Writing and publishing books is just the beginning. I'm just standardizing this approach. The books also say to do other related projects. In my case, getting Dollman the Musical onstage is one idea. You will have other related projects, but the publication of memoirs, biographies, art books and art catalogs will help all of us.
You can also imagine that a law firm that has meeting rooms, with someone who wants to form a local #valzubiriagenda group, can have meetings. A local café can do the same. Local photographers for your art, writers, editors, book designers, proofreaders and others can join in.
I suggest have printed books to share. 15 copies of your memoir or art books will be better than an e-reader or laptop or your phone to show. These gadgets can be stolen, sabotaged, broken, have coffee spilled on them, etc. 15 printed books means simultaneously showing to 15 people. You can even give them away to potential resellers, investors, traders and collectors.
When it rains, it pours, as in the days of Noah
There's a saying, "When it rains, it pours." There is a negative interpretation and a positive interpretation.
Negative: When trouble comes, they cascade to even more.
Positive: When opportunity comes knocking, more follow suit. We can assume that if one gets our art because of #valzubiriagenda, more want to do it now, because of the rising prices, and FOMO - fear of missing out. What will they lose if they miss the boat?
As I have said earlier, if the #valzubiriagenda trends, if you announce a future memoir or art catalog, you might have an increase of investors, traders and art collectors who would want to check you out. You might encourage more sales. Just remember to write and publish that memoir and art catalog.
There's this saying, "As in the days of Noah." Imagine Noah, building his ark, with members of his own family, putting all his time and effort into it. Noah was a nice guy. I'm sure every once in a while a neighbor offered him coffee, or chai latte, or whatever refreshing drink they might have back then.
Here's the lesson to be learned. Just because they offered him some type of bubble tea drink, or coca cola, they still didn't make it to the ark. Rubbing shoulders with actors does not make you an actor. I have told my artist friends to write their memoirs. They told me that once they see me succeed, after all these many years of seeing my seemingly useless efforts, then they will write their memoirs and follow the road that I had paved for them.
Good luck to them, but if I were you, act now, get my art or make art. Support the 5-year old artist whose parent promised to release a comprehensive art catalog. If you get that 5-year old's art, and mine, I would be honored to be in the same art catalog that you will produce. I'm already successful at that point. You have gotten the mission just right.
I have already claimed to have written the most book-length artist memoirs in the world. Dethrone that claim. Barter. Use ghostwriters. Success to me means facing God one day and saying, I wrote my memoirs and left the world a legacy of books and art. I will not tell God, smiling and proudly, that I encouraged a run for my art by announcing a schedule of exponentially increasing prices that reached 9 figures. I'm sure God knows we had fun.

JOIN THIS GROUP

If you want to try out #valzubiriagenda, in any capacity, join this group. Let others know about this group as well.
If you are an artist, you can let everyone know here that you will produce your memoir, art catalogs, etc. It's okay if you don't know how to go about publishing yet, I will discuss this. Please be honorable enough to produce what you promise to produce.
If you want to meet fellow artists, investors, resellers, etc., join us here.
If you are a book writer, editor, proofreader; if you can photograph art pieces; if you are a book designer, etc., join us here. Let us know if you charge, barter for art, or both.
If you have your own tips and knowledge to share, join us here.
If you have underaged artists you are managing (parents, etc.) join us here.
Join this group if you want to sell works. Post your works. You web links. I'm sure I will.
You can announce meetings in your area. You might have meeting rooms, a café, restaurant, etc. where people can meet. In the future, you can have the regular show and tell, where books can be shown and shared.
​
Thanks for reading. Please let me know if I need to edit some parts. Please share and join this group. - Valentino Zubiri, Dollman, Artist, Memoirist
Underaged artists are welcome here, so please be mindful of your language. We cannot post your adult-oriented art pieces, but you can direct us to a separate page or community. There will be limits to your posts, and there will be adult-oriented art that we cannot allow to be posted.
Thanks for reading. Please let me know if I need to edit some parts. Please share and join this group. - Valentino Zubiri, Dollman, artist & memoirist

Hello everyone, I’ll be using a throwaway for this one.
I’m from Albania and work in computer science. I got married 4 years ago to a woman I was quite fond of for so long. It was a dream come true. My late mother was there for my wedding and a year into the marriage. I used to let my mother use my laptop for her shows and the news. She loved technology but often ended up accidentally locking the computer, so I decided to set her fingerprint as the password along with my pin.
A couple of months later, I was assaulted in an armed robbery and suffered injuries to my skull and spine. I was on bed rest for 8 months and felt numb. It was the lowest state I’d ever been in. My wife visited me, but I didn’t know what was going on. All I could do was nod when she spoke to me. Once I regained my health, she was there until the day I was told to go home. I waited for her for an hour before calling a cab.
When I got home, I found another man and his kids in our apartment. They said they had rented the place for 3 months. Confused, I called my landlord. He said my wife left with my mother 4 months ago, saying she was moving closer to the hospital. I called her many times but got no answer.
My cousin called and asked if I would accompany him to my mother’s grave since he just got back from his job. I almost passed out when he told me she had died two months ago. He told me my wife and in-laws had buried her. I went to the police and asked for an investigation. After a couple of days, they told me my wife had moved. My laptop was found at a tech shop after they’d sold it.
When I checked my PayPal, my balance was only $29 out of the $7,340 I had. I was heartbroken and felt like throwing up. The tech shop refused to return my laptop because my wife had unlocked it for them using my mother’s fingerprint.

For some back story, me (21f) and my partner (24m) we’ll call B have been dating for 2 years, our relationship has been great up until about a month or 2 ago. See I go to school in a different city so for about 8 months we do long distance, B a while ago decided to go back to school. He applied for school in our home city and where I go, he got into both and I was over the moon for him. Realistically if he decided he wanted to go to school in our home city we would not be able to move forward in our relationship for another 5 to 7 years as where we live is very very expensive. I would be done school in 2 years but we really would not be able to live together until we have very stable well paying jobs, on the hand if he went to school where I go we would be able to move in together within the next year or so. Not only that we wouldn’t have to do long distance and we would be able to move forward. I really don’t wanna do another two years of long distance and I want to move forward in our relationship, it felt like a step back if he chose school in our home city as by the time we are able to move in together we would have been together for 8 years. A month before he had to make the decision I brought up how I felt and at the time he said everything was okay and he got it.
For the whole month he was acting odd but because our communication is limited to facetimes I didn’t think much of it. When the time to make the decision came, he waited till the last day possible, didn’t communicate how he was feeling or what he was leaning towards. Eventually after some tears and arguing he ended up deciding on where I go to school. He did tell me I was shitty for tell him my opinion and he couldn’t get past the fact I see life without him. I still feel like I wasn’t in the wrong as I wanted to be completely honest with him and I communicated my needs (not doing long distance for another 2 years.) i must say before this he was very much leaning towards the school I go to like 85/15, I didn’t think what I said would have changed that. I did apologize on multiple occasions, Anyways we were fine for a day or two and then out of the blue he calls me one morning and dumps me, I was so heart broken and spent the whole morning sobbing, he called me later that night and basically takes it back and said it was a mistake and after some back and forth I forgave him.
Since our initial convo I’ve felt a lot change, he doesn’t say I love you anymore, he doesn’t call me as often (I’m back in the city for summer so we aren’t long distance rn), he hasn’t called me pretty, he doesn’t seem excited to see me or make plans with me. It’s been almost a month and I brought it up to him the other day, it turned into a fight because he’s still healing, I told him it’s not fair that I don’t feel loved in our relationship, I’m going through some other legal issues rn and I really need him to be supportive and loving. He said no matter what he does is not good enough which is really not true, I love him and I just want to feel love back, I try to do everything I can to make him feel loved. We eventually talked it through, I know he suffers from mental health problems and he’s just going through stuff. I honestly don’t know how much more I can take, I miss the man I fell in love with. I just want to feel loved again.
Is it worth staying and fighting for or should I end it?
(Sorry for any formatting issues I don’t post on Reddit and I’m using my phone.)

I'll preface my post by saying that I'm totally aware of how stupid and dumb I'm being, and I even welcome more people telling me how stupid and dumb I am, because at this point I don't know what to do.
So I've been subscribed to several OF stars and followed many a hot men in my time, I've never had any issues, I subscribed for my own sexual gratification, got that and moved a long. In the last few weeks however, a new guy I've been following for a month or two started an OF. I'm not quite sure what it is about him, but suddenly I've developed a serious crush on him. He's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about before going back to bed. On X, I've turned on my post notifications for him, something I've never done, and I even wrote him a silly love letter. Essentially, he is my dream guy. This crush has literally been all consuming, and all I want to do is meet him, be a part of his life and his happiness. If I lived close enough, I'd probably go visit him at his day job. For now he's only done solo work, but he's quickly become immensely popular and I'm already having sad and jealous feelings about when he inevitably branches and start collabing with other OF guys. It's all very dumb.
This has literally become debilitating to me, and all I think about during the last week. I haven't been able to work properly or focus on anything else going on in my life, all I want is acknowledgement and approval from him. I need guidance on how can move on from this, which even as I type this statement, the thought of moving on from him hurts my heart.
As an aside, this stupid crush was really unexpected because I'm in a happy relationship. Me and my BF are open, and have been dating for 4/5 years, we have very open communication, and I've even told him about this. I just feel so crazy, I want to move on but at the same time, I just want to be part of this guy's life. Please, I need help. Btw Im 31 years old.
An additional aside, I think I'm very used to getting what I want, as an only child I was pretty spoiled, and as an adult, I'm very determined, ambitious and hard-working when it comes to the things I want. In that respect, I'm finding it so difficult to accept that the one thing I want so badly right now, is probably unobtainable.

I don't know what's going on here. I got everybody upset with me and I don't even know how. it all started with a FaceTime call at least that's what I think.
Whenever I tend to get annoyed or anything I get loud if I get excited, I get loud. I'm an odd person.
I guess the people thought I had an attitude in the call and they called me out on it. I apologized and explained briefly.
I thought the conversation was over. Everybody seems to be OK with it and we get right back to the meeting.
I thought I knew these people well enough to express myself and didn't have to worry about if they would hate me.
A couple of weeks later I got a couple of text messages from one of the people in the phone group. cussing me out.
I told her sister immediately who is the leader of all of these groups.
I thought it was fixed, but I had been going through an anxiety downward spiral for the past few weeks and felt an awkward tension around everybody. so I brought it to her attention again when they called.
I asked if we could try to talk it out so we both would feel better. They brought stuff to my attention that I was willing to fix and stuff that I was willing to compromise on.
I was not willing to change my whole personality for them.
Then the worst day of my life happened. Well, not the worst day but the most stressful day. I was pulled out of every group without even being spoken to.
I tried to call my friend to ask what was going on because I kept being put in and out of groups.
She accused me of being pissed but I kept telling her I'm not upset. I'm just hurt.
she texted me last night to tell me to stop texting this person in the group. I told her he’s the one that texted me that morning. and asked if I wanted to do FaceTime.
but I guess something happened between that morning and the evening because he didn't want to speak to me.
I texted my friend who let me be on a FaceTime call with him. I was upset and didn't want to be by myself.
She told me that he did not want to speak to me either and leave him alone.
Ok, I will do that.
Five minutes later he texted me to check up on me.
Now I'm confused. Is everybody in the group mad at me or is it just a handful? Do I continue to text my friend or do I just leave him alone for now?
I'm terrified to text him to say hi because I'm afraid that it will get back to her.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to cut him off completely but at the same time I'm terrified of interacting with him because I'm afraid that she will call me to tell me to leave him alone.

As my heading suggests, my question is about civil services. For instance, let's take IAS. They work 12-15 hours daily, always under stress, sacrificing mental and physical health, sacrificing family life and than what do they get--meagre salaries. I am not talking about corruption. That is corrupted money and can never be use for incorrupted things.
Why do people still go for it. IAS officers never get awarded for their work but they sure get bashed for any mishap. Not forgetting their regular(or irregular) transfers. Isn't that too much for one person to handle.
Less salary, huge, huge work, no appreciation, unable to be filal to parents, spouse or even children. Getting to work at any odd timing. Listening to abuse and rough languages of politicians. Unable to provide good life to their family members. Isn't this too much for a person to bear alone.
I don't promote corruption (can never do it) but I am not blind, if such people who gave their everything, can't they atleast get a monetary gain(not more than 10-15 crores).
Still people say civil servants are corrupted, we should reform the UPSC. Won't the people selected from reforms will too suffer from these.
Huge Mansion- their numbers are slowly decreasing, House help- Working 15-17 hours with small salary, they better die if they have to do even that. Car- That's for official purose. Power-- what power, power doesn't teach my children, power doesn't help my parents to travel after their labourious sacrificies. (I know every parent sacrifice for their their and I believe every parent should deserve this.)
That's it, this is all they get. Just think for a second, an IAS officer (top most service in our country) can't even send their children to good schools now. They can't even travel in 1st AC.
They are not illiterate instead they are too sharp, disciplined, strong minded, calm personality.
How can I say this- bcz these are bare minimum qualities require to get in through UPSC CSE.
And still people say, this is a service, why choose the job if you don't like it's demerits. My answer to them is-- no love for country can go on if their children, parents, spouse are getting starved for basic amenities. Please don't say this is a service that it's not about money... because it really doesn't work like that.
I can only show professionalism when I am getting the same. That's why business partnership with relatives is a bad idea.
I want some answers to this. Reason: I too want to join civil services but these things bother me too much.

last week i was having a breakdown regarding some personal issues. my best friend (25f) had just broken up with her drug addict bf and was distressed he wasn’t returning her calls.
when i saw her to hang out she was voicing suicidal ideation such as what was the best way to cut effectively and how to inject fent. i was obviously extremely concerned and told her to pls call me at any time of the night and i would be there for her. i have a history with close friends being suicidal/ leaving me goodbye notes. i go into an indescribable blind panic and it sends me spiralling. i took what my best friend was saying seriously.
my best friend is a party girl. she has sex with hundreds of people, gets in situations where she has zero regard for her safety, and abuses substances. she is convinced no one knows about this part of her life, even though she is pretty open about it. i feel immense pressure to cover for her and to keep quiet even when i’m so worried about her safety and i don’t know what to do. i love her with all my heart and it’s pains me to see her go down a path that only leads to self destruction.
as i was crying in my room( she had also informed me she had had sex with the boy the night before ) , my dad came in and pressed me to tell him why. i didn’t want to but after a while i ended up telling him about my friends suicidal ideation and (i deeply regret) my friends reckelsss lifestyle. i was so deeply frustrated that someone who i love so much can care so little about her own wellbeing and also of keeping it all a secret and it all came to a head and i had a breakdown. my dad is my best friends boss, hence my absolute reluctance to letting her know.
my dad claims to have already known, i trusted him to not talk about what i told him go anyone as we have a good relationship and i feel as though i can trust him.
yesterday my father tells me he told the (establishment where they both work ats) owner about my friend.
i went ballistic. i kicked the steering wheel (we were in the car) refused to put on my seatbelt, and went on a huge rant while sobbing uncontrollably about how i trusted him and how he broke my trust and a million other much more horrible and vindictive things that i feel so so bad about. i basically threw a tantrum like a 2 year old. i know my reaction seems disproportionate, but as someone with BPD, trust and loyalty are everything to me and my world kind of crumbled. i am very much « i would rather die than betray someone i love » and i felt betrayed and also as though i had betrayed my friend.
i begged for his reasoning, why???????? he told me the owner was thinking about giving my friend more work responsibility but my dad didn’t think it’d be wise due to her poor life choices/ instability. i told him that wasn’t fair and her personal life shouldn’t affect her professional one. (tbf she stays out on benders and sometimes comes to work with no sleep so idk) i don’t want my friend to lose her job bc of me. she is paranoid of my dad knowing about her lifestyle even though it’s fairly obvious and had questioned me in the past if i tell him. ( I HADNT)
i was most upset over the fact that i trusted him in a vulnerable situation and he used it in an unrelated situation. i feel horrible about everything i said to him in my BPD rage and i don’t know how to fix it.
i am sick with worry that my friend is going to realise i’ve betrayed her. i pride myself on my loyalty and now i just feel like a huge piece of shit and a hypocrite. i can’t bear to hang out bc i feel too two faced.
i feel like the worst person on earth.

I'm pissed off at the so called justice system and need to rant and I figure plenty of other pod listeners have experienced what a bastard it is and might relate. Feel free to share your story in the comments and we can all commiserate and bitch together.
I work the front desk of a motel and I love it. The owner pays a living wage, and I'm not required to smile in the face of Karen nonsense.
For the most part, the property is safe and quiet, but we have been having issues with this one particular loiterer for a few years now. In general, we really don't want people who are not guests or here with guests to be hanging around the property. He did more than just hang around though. He actively bothered guests, trying to bum money, cigarettes, alcohol and rides off of people while stinking drunk. He'd bother anyone but women were his favorite. He'd hit on them and try to get their numbers, even staff members. It didn't matter how many times he was told to leave, he'd keep coming back. Usually this happened at night, but he'd show up stumbling drunk during the day as well.
He's not homeless. When we figured out his name, we were able to determine he lives in an apartment complex a stone's throw away. We learned his name after an employee saw his mugshot, and that he'd been charged with trespassing and indecent exposure at a nearby business. Looking up his past criminal history, he's no stranger to run ins with the police. Criminal Mischief, False Imprisonment Of Child Under 13 Yoa, Child Abuse, Battery, Possession Of Drug Paraphernalia, Disorderly Conduct, Trespass In Occupied Structure, Possession Of Cocaine all from one encounter with police. Others include another count of indecent exposure, assault on a female and breaking and entering.
When we learned all this, we realized he was more than just a nuisance and we needed to try harder to get him to stay the hell away before he hurt one of our guests or a member of staff. Then he ended up being gone for awhile anyway. Jail? Another state? We don't know and I'm not that good at reading court records.
But he came back with a vengeance toward the end of 2022 and started zeroing in on our night auditor who was a very pretty but naïve girl which I guess he took as an invitation. When we learned about this she was told to just call the police whenever he'd show up so we could finally get him trespassed. I'm sure it will come as no surprise to any of you that the police never showed up in time to get him on the property, so they kept saying they couldn't do anything about it. Months later the planets aligned and he was finally trespassed.
This kept him away briefly. The night auditor left and a new one was hired who was not aware of the loiterer. Unfortunately for her, he took an even bigger shine to her, escalating to very sexual comments. We hadn't seen him for a bit, so we foolishly thought having him trespassed would work and hadn't warned her about him. One day last summer she is telling me about a guy who keeps coming around on her shift, and she doesn't think he's a guest. As she's describing him I realize she's talking about the loiterer. I tell her next time he comes around, just call the police.
To make a long story short (too late), by November he'd been arrested on our property three times for trespassing. And one time for communicating threats when he came screaming at the night auditor demanding to know why the general manager was at the hotel in the middle of the night. Clearly having him trespassed was not a deterrent. We kept being told to just keep calling because it would build a stalking case against him. Private security options around here are a joke, so instead the night auditor's boyfriend was given a free room during her shifts because her stalker would stay away when her boyfriend was around. But he would watch the property from somewhere because if her boyfriend went to run an errand or was away from the desk long enough, guess who would come creeping?
Don't worry, we finally got stalking charges against him though. Early November I was working a 16 hour shift because I'm a workaholic and I like OT. I was also pet sitting for my parents so as my day drew to a close I was absolutely running on fumes. Guess who turns up on the property bothering our guests again? We do the same song and dance where I call the police and they don't show up on time. The night auditor he likes was working that night and she arrived without her boyfriend, long story but he couldn't be there.
I desperately needed to get out of there because I had to be back in 8 hours and also needed to take care of the dog, but I could not in good conscience leave her by herself when I knew her stalker was prowling around. Sure enough, as I'm about to leave we see him on the security cameras heading toward the desk. The lobby has big glass windows and he walked by them, presumably looking to see if she was alone, but he kept going because I was here.
Something in me snapped. If the law wasn't enough to deter him from coming around, we'd have to find alternative methods to discourage him. I grabbed the pepper spray we have because of him and went outside to confront him like a lunatic. I shouted "hey!" to get him to turn around and I pepper sprayed him in the face as he was eating a cheeseburger and then I did it again. I got his face and his cheeseburger and he was so drunk he kept eating it as he cursed me and called me a crazy bitch, which is a fair thing to call the crazy bitch who just pepper sprayed you even though you deserved it.
I had dialed 911 on the way out the door, so they got to hear me yelling at him and told me to stop following him and I lied and said I wasn't following him, I was just yelling at him. In reality I was doing both though I only followed him to the edge of the property. The reality of the situation hit me at that point because I absolutely just attacked him and called the police on myself. My biggest concern in the moment though was the fact that my parents were out of town and there was no one else to take care of their dog.
Anyway, cop shows up like ten minutes later to take our statements and whatever. My eyes are stinging because I'd walked through a cloud of pepper spray, so I recommend gel not spray because it apparently doesn't do that. Fortunately I did not get in trouble and the cop was like huh, if your reaction to seeing him is to just immediately pepper spray him, perhaps we have enough for stalking charges. Yay, finally. They didn't catch him that night though.
And it turns out pepper spray wasn't that good of a deterrent. He was back bothering people two days later. Fortunately his favorite target was off for a few days and the other NA was working and called the police. They showed up and talked to him AND DIDN'T ARREST HIM. They said they couldn't because he wasn't on property when they arrived, which is bullshit because all they need is proof he was here which we have because we have security cameras and he has been busted another time that way. They just didn't want to do their job.
I started bringing my gun to work at that point in case the stalker decided he wanted revenge for the pepper spray. But honestly his brain is so liquor cooked I'm not even sure he remembers I did that.
Over the next couple days we say him a few more times, learned he had a warrant out for his arrest on the stalking and trespassing charge, but the cops kept not showing up in time. Then we didn't see him for a few weeks. I'd check on the local arrest records to see if he'd been arrested, and he finally was about 6 weeks after the incident. He was bonded out a couple days later and bond conditions included staying away from the hotel as well as my coworker and I.
After that he stayed off the property, but would sometimes shout at the NA from the sidewalk out front, telling her he loved her and would never hurt her. He never stuck around long enough that she felt it was worth calling the police over.
He would still hang around the fast food restaurant parking lot next door and bother guests whose rooms faced that direction. There wasn't anything we could do about it and they weren't interested in doing anything about it. This changed at the end of March when he was arrested there for being drunk and disorderly. He bonded out on that charge as well. We didn't see him around after that but knew better than to celebrate.
End of April, he gets arrested again this time at the gas station across the road. Drunk and disorderly, indecent exposure, and resisting an officer. Bonds out again.
Just a couple days later, the other day shift person spots him hanging around the property though he didn't stay long. She warned night shift about him when she left that night. Sure enough, he turns up again IN THE FUCKING LOBBY. NA scares him off with the stun stick that was also purchased because of him and calls the police. As is tradition, they don't arrive in time. But we have proof of him violating bond, so we're hopeful that maybe he'll get locked up and give us a longer break.
But he wasn't done with his chaos for the night, the NA learned the next morning when the police came back to talk to her. He went to hang around the gas station where he'd just been arrested. He was loitering around with another guy, generally being suspicious and touching themselves. Then comes the escalation no one saw coming (/s). He and his creep buddy attempt to sexually assault a woman at the gas station. Fortunately they fail, unfortunately buddy gets away, fortunately stalker does not.
But you wouldn't know about any of that looking at his charges. All you would see is that he was trespassing at the gas station, had an open container of alcohol, damaged a police car, resisted an officer, did a disorderly conduct, and he pissed on an officer. Nothing about the sexual assault, or trespassing at the hotel and violating bond. Also apparently pissing on a cop is a felony.
On the bright side, his bail was set to $25k and I kept checking to see if he had posted bond and he hadn't. So we were enjoying a reprieve. I checked every couple of days for updates on that, and when doing so today I noticed the status of the stalking case had changed from pending to disposed.
I looked into that and discovered the stalking charge had been dismissed because the victims and officer had not shown up to court. Showing up to court is kind of difficult to do WHEN NO ONE TELLS YOU YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE. There was absolutely no communication with any of us regarding the stalking charge. Everything I did know I knew from arrest and court records which I barely know how to decipher.
We've done everything we were supposed to do, but fuck us I guess right? We're having to take our safety into our own hands because the justice system doesn't give a fuck. He's not getting whatever help he needs to not be a predator because it doesn't give a fuck.
I'm so fucking angry right now. We're going to call the DA on Monday, for all the good that is likely to do. Maybe the owner can band together with other business owners in the area and get something done about him since money talks. I don't fucking know.
I'm not scared of him for myself, I'm scared of what he might do to a guest or one of my coworkers. He wouldn't be the first pervert to attack a housekeeper, thinking they're an easy target. One guy flashed his dick at a housekeeper a couple years ago and the owner chased him down and held him at knife point until the cops showed up. At least that cop had the good nature to claim not to have heard the owner when he said he was going to cut the guy's dick off.
The cop the stalker pissed on probably deserved it.
How has the justice system fucked you over?

Guys, My Grandfather started the business of Plastic Injection Moulding alongside his Government Job majorly manufacturing Stationery Items like Scale, Protector, Set Squares, Stencils in 1982. At that point according to my father there were not much competition. In 1991, My Father graduated from his diploma. He took part in Business at the age of just 20. For few years, My Father worked with My grandfather. Till 1996, My Father started working solely. Grandfather just focused on his job till the 2007 or 2008 when he retired.
My father died in 2022. After that My grandfather started looking after business. I also started taking part in. But I don't know If I ever contributed significantly. I overtook the accounting part which I guess didn't do it properly due to my lack of knowledge.
Currently Our Family Business is in shambles. We are struggling to make ends meet. Paying rent, maintaining employees salary, electricity bills are getting difficult.
Reason I think:

1. Grandfather despite not accepting was just too out of the loop. Since the last time he intervened, Everything had changed incredibly. There are more challenges. And Honestly I doubt he ever actually looked into business day to day working. Back then as I had been told, Factory used to work at the ground floor of our residence while family lived at first floor. My grandmother used to look after employees and day to day working. My Grandfather probably just looked over the cash flow. So He was not accustomed to entirety of business and competition. Also he is 78. So that also goes in the factor.
   
2. I think I never actually put my 100% efforts. I guess I just was privileged asshole. My father always told me and my brother to put efforts in our education. He dreamt of us getting best education he could provide. Since that was the only thing I need to do in my childhood (apart from playing. Don't think that studying was the only thing I did. It was only in my JEE phase.), I was able to put my entire efforts in education and score good marks. But after my father death, I just wasn't able to give my 100% to either of business or studies. Due to which, I think both of them suffered.
   
3. My Father always discouraged us from getting into family business. Primary reason was my grandfather intervention in business and not letting my father do what he wished to do. He thought that argument within three generation in family which may be caused is not good and worth it. I think It does make sense. Secondary He thought that For the struggle in business, Money you earn is not worth it. After I took engineering, He also believed that job in IT is more worth it. This is also expansion why I just wasn't able to give my 100%. I was in very much dilemma since I feel that getting into family business is kinda betraying him.
   
4. Some client took the benefit of our father's death. They are not taking our calls and not paying the amount due.
   
5. I am not entirely sure about this but after DOMS IPO was released, Niche product line we used to work in majorly came crushing down. This is what my grandfather had been claiming.
   

Now, Tell me whether should I continue it or not? Should I just focus my efforts on just jobs? I am not entirely sure what I want to do. A part of me says business but part of me says IT job. But market for IT job does not look good. I am questioning whether or not I would be able to land job or not? My Grandfather doesn't wish to close the business. I cannot see my grandfather working. His body is clearly not in the state. If I get into job then burden on him would just increase. Currently I go with him via Activa. Sometimes he does go by public transport though whenever I am not available.
Even if I wish to go in business then there are these problem:

1. Grandfather intervention. If I would get into it, I would want the complete control where I could proceed the business the way I would want. I plan to stop the stationery products and instead focus on other plastic products like Fan Blades, Automotive parts etc.
   
2. Input Cost: I would like to replace our old machinery with new better and larger machinery. My grandfather looks kinda against it stating old machinery is working but I don't know. They break often. As I was able to see, Most people had started using modern machinery. I read that modern machinery would be more energy efficient and would break down less. But New Machinery even used would cost a lot.
   
3. I had deep interest in technology. I have fun while programming. This feels like betraying that too. This is just on the top of betraying my father.
   

Kindly help me. I am incredibly confused.

Work Forcing Me Out After Attempting to revoke my time off.
Not sure how to go about this or if I’m just being a little petty.
I work as a Property Manager in California, I was hired at this particular job in November 2023. Upon hiring the HR coordinator at the time had been told I was getting married and had planned our honeymoon needing 2 weeks off in April. She approved and said it may be partially unpaid if you don’t have the PTO but it is no problem to take the time off.
All was well for many months, until around February when that same HR coordinator was mysterious fired and all staff were instructed not to communicate with her.
After this I had been told that the temp agency that they were going to use to cover me while I was out of office had “ramped up their rates” and that I would have to either find my own coverage within the company or cancel my honeymoon all together. I said that my time off had already been approved by the previous Coordinator and that I couldn’t refund the flights.
Now my manager and I are the only two on site and her behavior had become more and more erratic, coming in late, leaving early for “business purposes” and so on, she had also started delegating 2/3x more tasks than usual, some of which were her responsibilities.
Not too long after we get a new Hr coordinator who I email and ask if my time off is still approved, she confirmed in an email that I had CC’d my manager and the regional manager on. This is when things get dicey.
My manager starts micromanaging every task and her attitude toward me becomes more and more condescending to the point where I have to take a minute to calm down as she is argumentative about almost every task, if I complete it it’s completed too soon if she forgot to tell me about a task it’s because I didn’t have the initiative to ask etc.
Finally it’s the day before my scheduled time off (Saturday, I’m usually the only one in the office) and I come in to see that there is a counseling notice on my desk. I read it and get a text from my manager telling me to call her on teams when I get in, I do and she calls me from another managers account.
In the call she tells me that she has had to deal with so many complaints and errors that she is working “too hard” and I shouldn’t be abandoning the company at a time like this. She is careful to say “we want you to think about this during your honeymoon and comeback refreshed and with a better attitude”.
I acknowledge what’s she’s saying but disagree with the notice entirely.
When I return 2 weeks later, my manager calls out that day and I work solo, no issue and things are smooth. The next day the regional comes to the office to discuss some items with our technical support team and then tells me to come in to the managers office with her.
They sit me down and say “how was the wedding and honeymoon” I tell them and they sarcastically say “that’s greaaat”.
They then proceed to tell me I am being placed on a performance improvement plan as my “dedication to the company” is not meeting their needs. They detail their areas of concern, my “attitude towards the manager” my apparent disregard for the residents and my appearance (I wear a suit and tie, clean cut every day).
I’m shocked at what I’m hearing including the manager claiming she didn’t come into the office the Saturday before my scheduled time off because she was “terrified of how I would react”. I couldn’t belive it I had been nothing but polite and overly flexible with helping her with her work load.
The regional told me my manager had been suffering from extreme anxiety over the workload that occurred during the 2 weeks I was gone and told me I had to meet the following requirements within 30 days: “cease all negative reviews about the property” “make the property reach 95% occupancy” (the property has never been at 95%) and complete a series of trainings (which I already have). I should also add they’re claiming these “malfeasances” are occurring when the manager is not “in the office” yet she is the one claiming to have witnessed my “behavior”.
My concerns they’re trying to fire me And blame me for trumped up reasons that are simply not true.
What are my options AITAH?

I’m in a group of four friends. It’s super fun hanging out with them and stuff. Actually, the THOUGHT of hanging out with them is fun. Once we actually are together, I feel drained? I don’t know why.
We got really close junior year, but there is a duo in the group. For instance, they tag each other in tiktoks like “you are the chocolate to my vanilla”, somebody talking abt how they love their best friend, etc. Like yeah, they are closer, but is it wrong of me to be jealous? They have their own inside jokes that I don’t understand and I just kinda laugh it off when they avoid telling me what their jokes mean. I get because it’s something between them and it was probably about something that was only funny in the moment, but it just sucks not feeling included.
My other friend, outside of the duo, makes very offensive and strange comments towards my eating habits. I am embarrassed to eat in front of other people in public, so I usually eat a lot at home and little when we hang out. I am very open about this too. But if I ever reject food because I am either not hungry or don’t like it (I’m a picky eater) she ALWAYS butts into the conversation to say “she doesn’t eat anything anyways”. And if I talk about how I really liked a pizza (I had two slices) she goes “you barely ate it”. No matter what I say about any topic regarding food, she always has to bring me down in some way. The thing I find most odd about this is she barely eats in front of people either. Before school and during school she eats absolutely nothing. I have never said anything about it. And even the other day she bragged to me about how she “only ate a rice crispy today”. But I’m the one who doesn’t eat?
I love to crochet. I make crochet room decor and stuffed animals for my friends for their birthdays. I’m always really proud of it. However, I was recently talking to two of my friends how I want to crochet something for my other friend for her birthday, and they burst out laughing. They started telling me to stop crocheting stuff because nobody knows what to do with “dumb room decor and stuffed animals”. I just laughed but it actually really hurt. I thought they liked that stuff because for one, they all have a tower of stuffed animals in their room, and two, they have all have a pinterest board full of similar room decor. I put so much effort into crocheting that it was so hurtful to see that they don’t even care about what I made. I understand not everybody likes crochet stuff, and maybe I am sensitive, but I feel they were being a little harsh about it?
I feel like if I disappeared one day, the only thing different in their lives would be their grades. Otherwise, they wouldn’t even feel a difference. They always ask me for homework answers, which I usually give because I am a people pleaser. It’s just upsetting to see that when I ask for a favor in return, like maybe I just want them to send me the answer key for my homework so that I can check my work, they don’t help. They stop answering my texts and change the subject. Also to add on, I am only seen for my intelligence and not my personality. I don’t even talk about grades unless somebody asks me what I got on a test. I just want to be seen as a real person with real interests, and not just somebody who does well in school.
I’m always out of the loop. My friend keeps going back to her ex and then breaking up with him. It seems that all my friends know when they are back together but me. It’s always a surprise to me when I hear her say boyfriend instead of ex, but everybody else looks as if they already knew. I’m sitting there trying to process when she got back with him, while they continue the conversation as normal.
One of them constantly makes fun of me. She refuses to eat anything I eat, drink anything I drink, or wear anything I wear in fear of “turning into” me. I can never tell if it’s a joke or not. She always comments on my “grandma“ clothes and makes fun of them, when it’s literally just jeans and a graphic sweatshirt? This might sound really stupid, but she’ll drink out of ANYBODYS water. If they are sick, a stranger, whoever. But when she said “I’m soooo thirsty” and I offered her my water bottle she said “Ew I don’t want your water I’ll turn into you”. And she seriously refused my water. I’m sorry this probably sounds so dumb.
There’s a lot more, but am I sensitive or is there actually an issue?

Work Forcing Me Out After Attempting to revoke my time off.
Not sure how to go about this or if I’m just being a little petty.
I work as a Property Manager in California, I was hired at this particular job in November 2023. Upon hiring the HR coordinator at the time had been told I was getting married and had planned our honeymoon needing 2 weeks off in April. She approved and said it may be partially unpaid if you don’t have the PTO but it is no problem to take the time off.
All was well for many months, until around February when that same HR coordinator was mysterious fired and all staff were instructed not to communicate with her.
After this I had been told that the temp agency that they were going to use to cover me while I was out of office had “ramped up their rates” and that I would have to either find my own coverage within the company or cancel my honeymoon all together. I said that my time off had already been approved by the previous Coordinator and that I couldn’t refund the flights.
Now my manager and I are the only two on site and her behavior had become more and more erratic, coming in late, leaving early for “business purposes” and so on, she had also started delegating 2/3x more tasks than usual, some of which were her responsibilities.
Not too long after we get a new Hr coordinator who I email and ask if my time off is still approved, she confirmed in an email that I had CC’d my manager and the regional manager on. This is when things get dicey.
My manager starts micromanaging every task and her attitude toward me becomes more and more condescending to the point where I have to take a minute to calm down as she is argumentative about almost every task, if I complete it it’s completed too soon if she forgot to tell me about a task it’s because I didn’t have the initiative to ask etc.
Finally it’s the day before my scheduled time off (Saturday, I’m usually the only one in the office) and I come in to see that there is a counseling notice on my desk. I read it and get a text from my manager telling me to call her on teams when I get in, I do and she calls me from another managers account.
In the call she tells me that she has had to deal with so many complaints and errors that she is working “too hard” and I shouldn’t be abandoning the company at a time like this. She is careful to say “we want you to think about this during your honeymoon and comeback refreshed and with a better attitude”.
I acknowledge what’s she’s saying but disagree with the notice entirely.
When I return 2 weeks later, my manager calls out that day and I work solo, no issue and things are smooth. The next day the regional comes to the office to discuss some items with our technical support team and then tells me to come in to the managers office with her.
They sit me down and say “how was the wedding and honeymoon” I tell them and they sarcastically say “that’s greaaat”.
They then proceed to tell me I am being placed on a performance improvement plan as my “dedication to the company” is not meeting their needs. They detail their areas of concern, my “attitude towards the manager” my apparent disregard for the residents and my appearance (I wear a suit and tie, clean cut every day).
I’m shocked at what I’m hearing including the manager claiming she didn’t come into the office the Saturday before my scheduled time off because she was “terrified of how I would react”. I couldn’t belive it I had been nothing but polite and overly flexible with helping her with her work load.
The regional told me my manager had been suffering from extreme anxiety over the workload that occurred during the 2 weeks I was gone and told me I had to meet the following requirements within 30 days: “cease all negative reviews about the property” “make the property reach 95% occupancy” (the property has never been at 95%) and complete a series of trainings (which I already have). I should also add they’re claiming these “malfeasances” are occurring when the manager is not “in the office” yet she is the one claiming to have witnessed my “behavior”.
My concerns they’re trying to fire me And blame me for trumped up reasons that are simply not true.
What are my options AITAH?

Is anyone else dreading eventually having this conversation with someone you are getting to know?
To insert a bit of context, I'm finding myself actually quite fine with myself, in a very weird and spontaneous way. I don't get "triggered" by Ns, not anymore. I mean this. At a job, I've started noticing mobbing and A LOT OF gossip, HR seemed aloof in general. What do I do, seek validation? Convince someone that so and so is happening? No, change jobs, quietly. It's a miracle, honestly. In the past, I used to scan for it everywhere; In a movie, "is that character narcissistic?" When I see a couple with a kid, "are those people dysfunctional? What will happen to the kid?". For whatever tf reason, that just stopped. I'm happy to say that I'm speaking with people with no thought of their danger as such, only, I began kind of intuitively trusting that a person is good, I make concious effort to approach people like that, too. It's paradoxical, but it seems I am much more in tune when people are not genuine or are deceptive if I myself am being genuine, it's like honeypot and self-eliminating, not the other way around where I intellectualize "signs" and check if anything is off using my willpower. Take this as you will.
Now, I do have this keen sense of being out of place, not a part of the community. Like I speak to someone, they seem fine, and then I find out they have a relatively stable family, or they didn't move a lot, or whatever. Whereas I try to skip that. Some people find it fascinating that I moved a lot and want to hear more, I tell them, we talk good and have a laugh. This was especially the case with girls, the ones I met love a unique, unorthodox story, for whatever reason, their faces lighten up when I tell 5% of it. But eventually it comes down to "so, how about your family?" And I don't know what to say. "We went our own ways."
I don't want to badmouth anyone on principle, so no "oh they were narcissistic", but the conversation must happen, that's how we get to know people and their history. I honestly believe this is like 80% of the reason why I'm isolating myself, just this not-relating to a common familial experience.

Since I was 5 I wanted to end this shit life. I was raped before I was 5. Taken from my family. Used as a pawn on family court. Told my entire life I was why my parents had to divorce. Because I was placed in a group home. I spent my entire k-5 locked in a small room. Do to undiagnosed depression and anxiety!
Back in the 80’s no one gave a fuck about mental health especially in children. Always told just deal with it. Everyone lives suck, we can compare notes if you’d like. I’ve made federal judges cry.
My entire life has been one fuck up after another. I got used by friends,family, bosses, courts.
Life was manageable. Meet my now x wife started a a little family. We just finished college. I was working in the automotive industry. Not making much but a start. Do that work for some shitty people. And start to get to the point I’m ready to start my own.
Well just a few months later I got hurt on the job. Had a life changing back injury. And lost everything over night even my tools. Which got stolen while I was recovering. 40,000.00 of my life savings y gone.
Few years later I find a note how my wife isn’t happy anymore and wants a co worker. I leave and get begged back. We were apart 9 months and we talked about trying for or family. We did for another 13 years till a new little one came.
This was my mental health breakdown. I raised my kids. When I worked I took care of them daily. My wife worked nights and slept till just before work. Feed the kids drop them off at daycare. And I didn’t want this life again. Was finally facing the fact I couldn’t work just before him I got my Ssdi. Before work comp is a joke!
I started pissing blood the day he was born. I tried to talk to her. And she just went to the same old just deal with it any time I had an issue. That was here response anytime I had a struggle with the children at night I’m at work deal with it. I tried for so long. Till I started saying I was done feeling this way. Just for her to put of the time on me. My pains never matched her.
I’d rub her back while my screamed in pain. While my leg trembled in pain. But that’s what you do. And I’d get everyone has pain if I brought mine up.
Well three later little one is now three and she starts coming home and going straight to her phone. And everything from dinner to how was work was a fight. I caught her cheating. She came home from work with an overnight bag in her truck. Said what’s that none of my business. Like yes it is! Well I’m leaving you. My suicidal tendencies started kicking in. And I tried that night with my dad in my truck. Telling me how life mattered not more then mine mf. We have history especially childhood abuse. Like I guess we both die today.
She told me she was done with him, for her to leave that Friday. Dropping my kids off at her mother’s. She lied about everything. Kicked me out well tried. Then took my two youngest kids three hours away and had my 15 year old daughter lie about where they moved. They both said only a 45 minute drive not three hours.
Now a year and half later still playing her games. She uses I have a girlfriend against me. I’m still married to her I’m low income. And been fighting you want this divorce me. Since that’s been what she wanted since the day I found out, she has left my son to go chase men in other states with his teenage sister. He’s none verbal.
I’m so over fighting for my family. 43 years and I’m tired of never having life go good. Tired of my kids being used by women. I been here before with my oldest son’s mother. She used everything I begged her not to do against me. And I’m so ready. I wake up every day from nightmares. Haven’t slept a full night in 14 years. I’m mentally exhausted. Sick of telling police I’m not going do it while I’m playing it out in my head.

Scott Masterson had first met Scarlett at a rooftop party in downtown Dallas. Their age and the time of year were both in late springtime, them in their mid twenties and the date in early May. He had on a sharp yet breezy blazer and she astonished in a thigh length sleeveless blue dress.
“Oh hey Scott I don’t believe you two have met…” his then happily married friend had remarked with a slow swinging open hand toward her.
“Scott Masterson…reluctant friend to this knucklehead” he said with a tight lipped grin, trying not to be so obvious with his instant rapture.
“Scarlett…a pleasure…”
Her hand was so delicate to Scott’s touch. They locked eyes. It was like looking back through centuries of connection, endless days of laying in the sun next to the Seine River, or rising to Hollywood fame in the 1940’s and only having each other who would understand the glory and the pain of it all, or generations of quiet, simple country love that would bear such beautiful, happy children that would go on to raise beautiful, happy children, all with their dark blue eyes. Yes, the memories of every love story since the beginning of time was swirling right there in Scarlett’s irises. Scott had to catch himself before he stared embarrassingly too long.
“Sorry Scottie here doesn’t get out often” his friend quipped, which Scott appreciated actually, it helped him snap back to professionalism.
“Well I don’t either…at least I prefer not to.” Scarlett’s words flowed through the air like a flock of rose petals.
“Hey, kindred spirits.” Scott was really sensing a rising energy out of her, they had barely broken eye contact.
“Well, I’ll let you two have at it, I got a wife around here somewhere. Hey…Scott and Scarlett…not bad, not bad.” His friend exited stage right with a sly chuckle.
“Nice guy…so…what are you drinking, Scarlett?” Scott looked around for the emptiest corner of the rooftop bar, hoping to find a nice place for them to be able to hear each other. This night had just become something.
“That depends, Scott…what do you like?”
Oh man.
Well, as you can expect, the evening blossomed into a beautiful, long winded conversation that etched a long list of similarities between the two. They both lived in the city, had never married, and had dreamed of stable, simpler lives far away from tall buildings and busy streets. The next morning Scott awoke in her arms, which warmed much deeper than just his skin. He could feel her soothing his very identity, his future, everything. Her arms were tailor made to fit his very soul, and he had never felt more safe and at home.
“Mmm…you can stay right here…” she whispered, eyes still closed.
“I will…I will”
They both fell back asleep, into a dream that wouldn’t end upon waking.
Two years passed and suddenly they lived that simple backwoods life, way out where acres of land far out-populated the few and far between people. They took a lovely home, which happily looked over a long backyard, right up to a lively yet mostly undisturbed river. Their only neighbor within a mile was an older ranch worker named Charles, who rarely made himself perceivable. Days were spent way on into town where they both had offices. They didn’t mind the commute. Nights were spent mostly like this night, cuddled outside near a lovely little fire, with a slowly shrinking amount of wine sitting between them. Enjoying their Kingdom. Tonight, however, would prove to be a special night, for many reasons, all unexpected.
“Honey, I’ve been thinking…” Scott began, sitting up and opening his hands to the warmth of the fire.
“Oh?” Scarlett also sat up, eyes widening.
“So look, Scarlett, the last two years have been the best of my life. An absolute dream…”
She held her breath, her focus darting between his eyes and mouth.
“Yeah?”
“We have everything we ever want out here. But…what if there’s more?”
“More?” She had envisioned this very conversation hundreds of times.
“Our dreams have come true, but what if we…made some new dreams?” Scott turned and embedded his eyes into hers. He burst into a big smile.
“Scott…I thought…”
“Nevermind what I said” he cut her off, which he always made a point to never do, but this was a good exception.
“I’m ready, Scarlett…let’s have a family.”
“Ohhhh Scott, oh Scott”
They hugged tight enough to where it hurt.
“Well, in that case, we may need to open another bottle.” She said playfully, bouncing her eyebrows twice.
“Excellent. I’ll be right up. I’ll put this fire out and then start yours up.”
“Oh stop!” She bounded away girlishly, up the snowy back steps and into the house.
Scott let out a big sigh that he could see in the cold air and sat back in his chair, taking in his decision. He really was ready. He had secretly been keeping a long list of names that he liked and that he thought would work in front of Masterson. Especially little girl names. He stared into the campfire flames, getting lost imagining the three of them sitting right here, a little girl resting securely in Scarlett’s arms, as Scott had found himself, and stayed within these past two years.
Suddenly his trance was broken when, from the road in front of their house, came the sound of a vehicle approaching at high speed. Scott snapped his head back toward the house to get a better listen. He could see, around the house and through the trees, a large truck barreling down the country road, its headlights racing and bouncing with intensity. In an instant, it had passed up the road and out of sight.
“Huh?”
Soon, after a moment of silence, another sound echoed into the night. This sound rattled Scott to the bone and tore all that was right in his world into pieces. A sharp, bellowing squeal. His eyes shot over to his neighbors house, which was about a tenth of a mile to his right but still had a couple dim lights on that he could see. The shriek seemed to come from there.
Then, more squeals. It was hellish. More than animal but not quite human. Scott stood up. He heard crashing and tearing and further destruction coming from Charles’ house.
“Scarlett!! Scarlett!” He yelled toward his house, where he looked and could see her silhouette behind the curtains at the kitchen window. She didn’t seem to hear him.
He turned back toward his neighbors. The chaos had gone quiet. Not a half a moment after, though, he heard something big barreling through the trees as fast as that truck had been sprinting. Running, running furiously between the two houses. Searching, hunting. Scott was taken aback so hard that his heel had caught the edge of the fire pit, throwing him down only inches away from severe burns. He had knocked his head in the whiplash, making him groan and take a moment to regain his bearings.
“SCARLETT!!!!”
He screamed out toward his home as he sat up, rubbing a quickly rising bump on the back of his head. He heard a loud breaching on the side of his house. The patio door. No. No. Then, all hell broke loose. Scarlett started wailing and crying and he could hear crashes of plates and glasses and deep guttural roars coming from the kitchen inside. Shadows danced in a frenzy from the curtained windows. Sounds of instinctual survival seemed to be thrown from Scarlett inside. Sounds of defeat. Sounds of agony. Sounds of insanity. Scott sprang to his feet, his equilibrium being more damaged than he realized after his fall. He had to catch his hand on a chair to stabilize himself. Scarlett’s symphony of pain had gone quiet. Soon after something burst back out the patio door again and off in the same direction as that truck before.
Scott struggled back up to the house, slowly climbing the wintered, crunching stairs that led to the patio. He no longer yelled for Scarlett. In fact, the only thing that came to his senses was the sound of his own heavy breathing. Everything else had been turned off, save for a heavy and sudden dread that he had prayed he would never feel. He came to the side of his house where indeed the patio door had been busted and forced open. It laid inside the kitchen, its hinges snapped like toothpicks. Scott, with eyes wide and twitching, slowly entered his home and looked into the kitchen.
He didn’t scream. He didn’t even change his breathing. He didn’t blink. He just got a good long look at what laid before him.
Everything was broken. The fridge was on its side, the door hanging open and food and drink scattered all over the floor. The table was upended, its legs to the ceiling. A chair was resting on the counter, possibly having been thrown in defense. And Scarlett. Oh Scarlett. She…was…everywhere. She was all over the floor. She was sprayed against the walls. She was stuck to the window. She was in the sink.
Scott gently walked through the carnal mess and sabotage of his world. Long ago he had known exactly what he would do if something anywhere near this bad were to happen to him. He politely stumbled through the kitchen, down the hall, and into the bedroom. He opened his closet door and lowered a fire safe from the top rack. He unlocked it with a passcode. 511, after that warm May date when he had first met Scarlett. In the safe was a Sig Sauer P320 handgun. Scott took it out, along with a box of bullets, loaded one into the gun, put the safe back on its rack, and walked out of the closet, sitting on his bed. Their bed. Where they should’ve been laying right at this very moment, working toward a happy future. Where he would’ve kissed her forehead and put a hand on her growing midsection. Where they would have awoken on Christmas morning to the sound of children who were way too excited to remain asleep. Where they would’ve grown old. Where they would’ve smiled at each other through wrinkles, satisfied with all the love they shared and passed on to the next generations. Where they would’ve held each other in deep peace as they finally fell asleep to this world.
“I will…I will”
In one quick motion Scott pulled back the hammer and stuck the barrel of that pistol right up against his Governor and blew himself away, far away, right back into Scarlett’s loving arms.
Jeremy “Smallmouth” Bassett quickly yet stealthily made his way back to his Uncle’s house. He hugged the sides of the dark country road, keeping his eyes and ears wide open as to notice any sounds pertaining to the event that he had just witnessed there in the field next to the huge blaze. His only thought was Uncle Chuck. His house was right on the warpath of that horrible thing and Smallmouth had to go to him and make sure he was safe. He dared not go back to his truck, which would bring a lot of unwanted attention. No, Smallmouth walked and walked and finally saw the lights of his Uncle’s house. He carefully approached the front door from the shadowed driveway. Suddenly it occurred to Smallmouth that something was very wrong here. The door was busted in, having been plowed through by something very large and very strong.
“No…no…no”
Smallmouth slowly entered the house. The kitchen and living room were a disaster, chairs and tables and bottles strewn about and shattered. Bloody hoof-prints covered the floors, each of them the size of dinner plates. Smallmouth heard no noise. He felt himself well with tears, his nose a faucet that he began to sniff up as he worked his way through to his Uncle’s room, the door there also being broken in. A small whine growing in his throat, Smallmouth peaked into his uncles bedroom.
It was all in tatters. The bed had been attacked and shredded, the mattress being ripped up and thrown about as if it were made of cotton candy. More bloody hoof-prints were painted all over the brown carpet. Smallmouth trembled and put a hand up to his wet face. He didn’t see a way that his Uncle was anywhere near alive, knowing what he knew about the monster that had been in this house.
Smallmouth slowly walked to the living room, to the only little table that had been untouched in the attack. It was almost as if the bottle of whiskey teleported into his hand from the overturned cabinet, unopened. He fixed that real quick.
Soon he was several pulls deep of the only thing in the world that he knew would make him feel better, even if only for a few hours. He found his pack of cigarettes in his coat pocket and lit one up, although he was indoors. What did it matter? He sat in a chair that he had turned right side up and set the bottle on the table and looked out the back window into the pitch black. He cried for his Uncle and he cried for the world. He cried for himself. He cried for broken promises and his own weakness. He drank and drank until his vision shook from right to left everywhere he looked. At first he didn’t even notice the figures on the back porch. Then his vibrating focus did pick up on them, but by then it was too late. It was so dark out there but in their outlines he could see they wore long robes and hoods.
“HA!! COME AND GET ME! HAHA!! YOU COME AND YOU GET ME!!” Smallmouth boasted with a delusional amount of courage.
A creak escaped from the kitchen and he drunkenly slung his head over toward it. Three more figures stood there. Or was it just one? Smallmouth was none the wiser. All at once the hooded intruders from both inside and outside began to chant a strange, twisted rhyme in strikingly low and dissonant harmony:
“A sliver…of liver…goes down…with a shiver… …and gives…your gullet…to gall… …but drink…the Cider…that drowns…the Spider… …and you…will be free…of it all… …so tighten the grip…that loosens your lips… …O raise…the bottle…of brown… …and wake tomorrow…to find…in sorrow… …ANOTHER…SPIDER…TO…DROWN”
Smallmouth groaned at them in dissatisfaction and turned his bottle up again and began to chug the whiskey. As he did they repeated the chant except this time it was louder and closer. By the time Smallmouth had finished his bottle he was quickly losing consciousness. This wasn’t just whiskey. As he closed his eyes he felt hands grabbing him from all sides.
Smallmouth pulled open his sticky eyelids. His head felt like someone had bowled a strike into it. Wind froze his face. The smell of sickly, wet iron stung his nostrils. His vantage was higher than usual. Way higher. He was looking out into another field, but from easily ten feet up. He saw an old church, formerly painted white but now a flaky pale-beige. He heard the friction of a quick pull of rope below him, matched with a slight, tight pain at his feet. He looked down. A red-robed figure was fastening him against a wooden structure of some kind. His feet sat on a small flat platform perpendicular to a post that went from the ground up past smallmouths head. He couldn’t move his arms, so he quickly shot his eyes side to side. They were also tied to another horizontal post. A cross. He was being tied to a crude wooden cross. His shirt had been removed, exposing a hairy, overweight belly. Smallmouth tried to speak, but all that came out was a slow, unintelligible grumble. He was still drunk. No, this was more than that. He was under the influence of something strong and absolutely inhibitive. He wallowed again, and took in a deep breath. The smell of iron once again hit his nose. He looked down at himself. He was covered in a thick, red liquid. That wasn’t just the smell of iron. He had been splashed full body with blood.
“Now now, young servant…” the figure at his feet had finished his task and took a couple of steps out to admire his own handiwork.
“Ahh…perfect. The picture of martyrdom. Yes, you will always be remembered, Brother Bassett. You are to be the first Saint of The New Bible.” He opened his arms in his declaration.
Smallmouth looked up into the cold night sky. The moon shown down, giving everything a midnight spotlight. It was a gorgeous waxing gibbous, big and bright but not quite full. Yes, he was in a great big snowy field that housed an old worn down church. From the windows of the church he saw candles glowing, showing dark heads and shoulders looking out to him, also covered in loose hoods, hiding faces. He was hanging on a cross about one hundred feet from the old church. In front of the cross was a partially covered pit, a couple of two by fours supporting double armfuls of branches and dead leaves.
The figure at the base of the cross put his arms back to his side. He was still looking right at the drugged Smallmouth’s dumbstruck face. Even with a veiled mouth you could hear the twisted smile in his voice.
“Tonight you will help us finally defeat this legion, Smallmouth. You see, it may have the evil spirits within it, but at its core, it is still an owned animal. An animal that knows its Master very well. An animal that will remember the smell of its Master. You, my friend, are covered in its Master right now. And you are hanging on a cross, the symbol of this brute’s most hated enemy. But take heart, young Brother. Before you is our pit of spears. Yes you will attract the beast, but our Divine plan will intercept it and the beast will fall and be pierced. And then, oh dear brother, you will forever be immortalized. You will be purified in fire by the hands of your church brethren. Out of your screams and into the smoke the iniquities of all will be released. We will go on to preach your good example and your sainthood forever and ever.”
Smallmouth began to drool and hum pathetically. He could hear and understand the words of the robed man but he couldn’t fight back. His body was useless, limp inside its rope confines. All he could do now is think, and watch, and wait, and dread his fate.
The figure turned away from him, walking over near the pit and gathering up a bundle of brambles and throwing them over the last open area, covering it completely. He then crunched through the snow over to the front door of the old church, groaning open the door. He stood at the dark doorway for a few seconds in silence, and then began to make a noise. An over exaggerated pig squealing noise, high pitched and infuriating. Soon after other voices from inside the church began to do the same, their wailing echoing out of the building and all across the field, loudly signaling, calling out. It may as well have been a dinner bell. Not a half minute after they began the distress signal it was loudly answered by a distant squall. A furious squall.
This was it. Either way it happened Smallmouth was about to die. Experience terror, and then die, and not even have the ability to put up any kind of defense. It wasn’t fair. He just slowly lifted up his head and watched out far into the moonlit, white field. He then raised his heavy head further and took a good gander at the moon and stars for the last time.
“God,” he thought to himself, still having full inner monologue yet no outer motor function, “I am so sorry. I am so sorry for being what I am. I am so sorry for ending up in this place. It’s only my own fault. If it wasn’t for me being so stupid and messy and drunk and terrible then this wouldnt be happening to me.”
He began to shed tears that washed lines into the blood on his face.
“Please forgive me God. Please, please, please forgive me for all of my sins. This is it. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die. PLEASE FORGIVE ME!!!!” He yelled inside his own mind, hoping and trying to send his silent words as far up into heaven as they could go.
He lowered his eyes back to the ground. He looked over at the church again. The windows were empty, the candles were extinguished. Those hooded cowards were hiding from their own handmade sacrificial service. All was quiet for a long pause until a much louder, closer bleating began at the edge of the forest not even three hundred feet away from Smallmouth’s glazed over eyes. It was time, and it was too late for a miracle.
Out of the woods, slowly and heavily, stomped the massive hog. As it marched closer and closer Smallmouth could see its white, boiled over eyes and black-burnt skin. Its jaws were flying open and snapping its sharp, pocket knife-sized teeth together in an intimidating “clack”. It was now less than a hundred feet away, the dark old church to its right shoulder. It stopped, its pale glowing eyes fixed right on Smallmouth on the crude cross. It truly was a monster. It stood as tall as a man and as long as a canoe. Around its murderous mouth were stains of red, the remnants of all that it had taken from the world on this unholy night. In its clanging jaws were bits of flesh. It snorted and scowled.
Then, in a fury, it wailed that horrible squeal and started off into a dead sprint. It galloped and galloped toward Smallmouth at a high, blistering speed. It kept yawping and howling as it cut the distance from the cross down to fifty feet, forty feet, thirty, twenty. All at once it passed over the covered pit and plunged in. In his doomed, dead eyed stupor Smallmouth could hear what sounded like paint being dumped from a rooftop onto concrete. Trails of black liquid squirted and splashed up from the pit, which had been uncovered in the fall of the beast. Unbelieving, Smallmouth saw dozens of steel spear tips standing up from the dug-in ground. Right in the middle of them the beast was stuck. The sheer weight of the animal had caused the spears to pierce through its tough skin, sticking out of its back, soaked in black blood. One spear had stabbed right under the hogs chin, passing up through its jaws and out its black snout. It made agonized sounds. It roared and roared and shook the spears inside it, beginning furiously, then growing weaker and weaker within seconds. Finally, it let out one last weak little squeal, before it went still and quiet.
Smallmouth was frozen both physically by drugs and constraints and mentally by shock. His mouth hung open toward the pit of spears, his vision blurry. He took in a deep, troubled breath and let out a moan of disbelief and relief. The old church doors sprang open, and the sound of jubilation within flowed out into the night. The red robed figures flocked out of the building toward the pit, arms raised in celebration. They surrounded the hole, getting a good look at their success and their enemies defeat. Some held additional spears and began further stabbing the dead animal, causing more black blood to be shed up at them. They all yelled loudly and triumphantly. Some danced around the pit. Some skipped over to Smallmouth on the cross and danced around him, slapping his legs and spinning in circles.
Smallmouth looked on at the raucous celebration, both in utter disbelief of their trap actually working and also in turmoil. How long now until they fully execute their plan.
A taller robed man, whose voice matched the same one who spoke to Smallmouth as he tied his feet, spoke up, sounding almost happily intoxicated.
“Ahh yes my Brothers!! It is done!! We have won!!!”
They all whooped and cheered.
“Brother Norman, go into the church and bring me the small tank of fuel. Let us send our dear Saint Bassett to the Holy lands, where he will be adored for all eternity!”
They all clapped and hollered. One figure began childishly skipping away from the pit and over toward the front door of the church.
Then, it happened.
From the pit all of a sudden a great blaze erupted instantly. It stood as tall as the cross, and it burned a furious red and blue. It raged and raged, blinding Smallmouth and making him clumsily turn his face away from the heat.
All of the figures panicked, screaming and scattering away toward the church. They didn’t get far. Up from the fiery pit, dozens of long, long, black arms, adorned with six hooking claws emerged and stretched out of the flames and latched on to the legs of those trying to escape. Smallmouth heard crying and wailing from the men as the black, razor clawed-hands of the legion grabbed them and began pulling them back, into the blazes. One by one the red robed people were dragged into the flames, their clothes catching instantly. Smallmouth could see violently shaking bodies in the evil furnace. Oh, the screams. Above the tortured howling, the sound of laughing broke out. Deep, menacing laughter, hundreds of voices, echoed up into the air from the burning hole. Then, in one extinguishing squeeze, the ground swallowed the entirety of the fiery pit, leaving it completely covered in dirt, still and quiet. Soon after, and just like the pit of spears, the old church building caught in an instant and raging fire, quickly toppling the walls and dropping the steeple into its ruins. The smoke towered high in the night sky, which had just began to hint at a pale morning blue. Smallmouth hung on his cross in utter horror and surprise.
As the late evening hours glowed into early morning the smoke eventually tapered off, as Smallmouth’s drugs finally began to wear off as well. The fires of the church did garner long distance attention, though. Just as Smallmouth was able to regain control of his muscles and voice he heard emergency sirens call out into the cold morning air. Not long after, two fire trucks, an ambulance and a sheriffs truck tore into the field and toward Smallmouth on the cross. Not long after Smallmouth could feel the tied ropes being cut loose by firemen, their uniforms easily the best red clothes he had seen all night.
“What on God’s green Earth happened here son?” A bearded man with a dark hat and brown shirt and pants asked Smallmouth once he had been lowered down from the cross and sat on the ground with a shock blanket around his shoulders. The Sheriff, no doubt.
“God’s green Earth. It really is God’s, isn’t it?” Smallmouth whispered, staring out across the cold field. Then, at the very place he was staring, an old, familiar truck came barreling out of the gravel road in the woods and through the field in the steadily growing morning light. It was Uncle Chuck’s truck. It hurried over toward the other emergency vehicles, parked, the driver’s side door burst open, and Uncle Chuck came bounding out over to Smallmouth, his eyes wide and his mouth a wonderfully shocked “O”.
“JEREMY! JEREMY!!!” He basically fell on Smallmouth in a tight, warm hug. Smallmouth was caught off guard by Chuck using his real name.
His Uncle held him for several seconds and then let up, but kept his hands on Smallmouth’s shoulders.
“I thought you were dead.” Both of them said at almost the exact same time.
“I came back and your house was a mess and there was blood everywhere. I thought you were dead.” Smallmouth weakly spat out.
“Well, I woke up and you were gone, son, so I walked to the ranch to get my truck. I was worried bout ya son. I came back home and the whole place had been turned upside down. Blood on the carpet. I just thought the worst. Then I tried my neighbors house. Buddy, they’re dead. Looks like some wacko murder-suicide if I ever saw one. Scott probably tried to come kill us too and wrecked the place when he found it empty. I don’t know. But what I DO know is that you are right here! You are okay Jeremy!! Ahhh Praise Jesus!!”
“It’s not that, Uncle. That isn’t what happened out here. It’s..it was a..a, uh…”
Smallmouth’s fried brain couldn’t even comprehend what he had witnessed over the past few hours. It was all a violent blur.
“Dont worry bout it son, you can tell me everything on the way to the hospital. We gotta go get you checked out and cleaned up. C’mon.” He helped Smallmouth up and they walked over to the ambulance, his Uncle’s arm thrown around his shoulder.
Smallmouth would be sent home later that afternoon. It would take him and his Uncle a long time to sort through the chaos of that deadly night and rebuild their lives. But life kept on. Smallmouth would remain living with his Uncle, and would begin a job working with him down at the ranch. Together they started to attend a local church. Smallmouth never touched a drink or a drug or even a cigarette ever again, and remained steadfast in his newly revitalized faith.

Hello, I am currently pregnant with my first baby. I was pregnant once before but it resulted in a very early miscarriage. So far, everything is going fine. Only things that have happened are when I was super early I was bleeding periodically. It’d be a lot one time then just spotting for the rest of the day/a couple days later. Each time I went to hospital to ensure all is well. And was. Except for the last time, I didn’t go because I didn’t want to have to pay another hospital bill for a false alarm. This coming Thursday I have an ultrasound as well as the genetic testing. Something is telling me everything is not okay. It’s also not helping that I keep seeing women that went for a 12-15 week check in and they were told their baby stopped growing 2 weeks prior, etc. I’m more so just ranting and my heart aches for those mothers. What is making it difficult for me too I think, is that I have not had any symptoms of pregnancy. No vomiting (which no offense to anyone but I’ll take it as a win), no food aversions, no cravings etc. the only thing is my breasts do hurt a lot. The other thing that terrifies me is that I am not in the greatest health. I was smoking 5-7 cigarettes a day as well as chiefing on my vape. My blood pressure is high. I take it myself at home and it will be 150/100 but at the docs office they say it’s normal which I know is not true. I have had hypertension my entire life, since I was 7-8. I am pretty overweight. I was 290 when I got pregnant (I had JUST lost 25 pounds right before becoming pregnant) and I am 320 already. I feel like I am not eating any more than I was, I’ve been trying to eat fruits/veggies. But I keep packing on weight. I also was taken off my medications when I found out I was pregnant(for bipolar and sleep) so I have been anxious and restless. I can’t help but to feel guilty especially if I do lose my baby. My boyfriend has been extremely supportive throughout everything so far. With the exception of a few (unrelated) arguments.
But to highlight the weight thing, if anyone has recepies or meals they enjoy during pregnancy please let me know. I’ve been trying to eat just chicken and veggies but I am getting tired of just chicken.
Thank you all for your time