Protocal for a fallow up job email

Received this letter from my Nmom April 15, personal info redacted and annotated in bold italicized square brackets:

Dear [my name],
I am writing this letter to apologize to you. I did not know when I would send this to you as I did not want to disrespect your request of no contact. As the situation with Daddy’s health has brought us near, I I decided to give it to you. [For context, she was near because 6 months ago she bought an apartment down the road from my dad’s who literally lives in a different country. I was there because my dad recently had the palliative care talk from his doctor]
Firstly, I know you would not have cut off contact with me last year unless you felt like it was the healthiest thing fore you to do. I understand my contribution to your pain, and the triggers that made it hard to spend time with me.
I have read your text many times [I sent a text outlining some of my issues before going NC], and I understand how my actions, poor listening skills, invalidation, and minimization have caused you pain, loneliness, and despair. I am truly sorry for the ways I have let you down as a mother. I am sorry that I was hurtful to you. As a parent, I should have protected you more and been more aware of, and more empathetic to, your needs. You have a right to feel disappointed in my that I didn’t do a better job.
I Las understand your needs regarding parents processing their past trauma separately from adult children. I want you to know that I have been seeing a good therapist, [therapist’s name] at [practice name] regularly this past year and have also done webinars and podcasts specific to parent/adult child relationships to help myself and hopefully to learn how to be a healthier parent and person.
I love you dearly and want you to be happy and healthy. I am proud of you for all that you are. I have missed you, [my dog] and [my partner] and being apart of your lives. I want you to know that I am open to do whatever is needed to mend our relationship moving forward.
If you want to talk, I promise to listen purely from the perspective of listening and learning, and not in any way to defend myself. Or, if you would feel more comfortable to do that in the presence of a therapist, I would welcome that also, as well, if there are things you would like me to specifically work on in my own therapy, I would appreciate that input as well.
I love you lots, thanks for reading.
xx Mommy

In contrast, here are some recent emails I discovered between her and my Ndad. Keep in mind these aren’t the only emails I found, just some recent highlights. They’re divorced for 10+ years btw.
2/22/2024

Nmom: fyl I tried to put in a request for session with him [J\shua C*leman], waitlisted untl 2025 but may be helpful regardless of how long this drags out. Provide guidance for amends letter, contact AC, email follow up etc so 995 worth It considering I am now paying 225 per session in *[nmom's city] with not a lot of help as no clue about estrangement logistics [so much for seeing a “good therapist”]
Ndad: Same problem here. Estrangement is an area of expertise not normally covered by therapists which I understand although a relatively new phenomenon. Listening to some of the examples on Monday made me worried e.g. the son in law accusing his wife parents of murdering his 90 year old grandfather. The situations are growing more extreme and therapists seem to be "egging on" their patients. So I agree, stay on the waiting list, for [my brother] as much as anyone.
Nmom: Even assuming [my name] comes around before 2025 we will forever be on eggshells for another episode until proper therapy - I am hoping as in sf she could go to see him +- with me to enlighten herself. We were not perfect parents but the influence from whomever incl [best friend] has to be squashed as not dealing with issues is stonewalling and abusive to us.
I admit that I am having suicidal thoughts about it myself, that is not good but 80% of mothers do.
From his teachings we just have to suck it up or else things get worse - it is not fair but that is the best way.
if I had known I would have kept quite and not defended us - her calling me narcissist triggered me and I even said that despite your tendencies you were not a card carrying narcissist either.
the physical abuse memory I think is exaggerated, I asked her point blank and said i never witnessed it then she back tracked saying emotional abuse is worse than physical anyway. There was emotional abuse but also a lot of good things and I tried to reason that I was under duress and you were not in right mind eep bearing your childhood. She said she had empathy but I got impression it didn't matter we are the parents and she was a child.

3/7/2024

Nmom: I linked in from josh site, looks like his interview not on the free 20+ but interesting to see the garbage out there, mainly spouted by lay people for what it's worth to get behind enemy lines I am listening to some, limited time airing next 8 hours or "buy now” promotional buttons: https://www.avaiya.com/heal-your-past/0305replays/ [link to a website on healing from narcissistic parents]
Ndad: I know, trust me, it's very depressing to see how this has turned out given all the efforts we put in to give them a nice home, schooling and entertainment which we never had. From my own past, I know parents take some blame, but at some point, the kids need to get on with life and stop deflecting all their own character flaws on failed parenting, whether real or catastrophized by therapists.

4/1/24 (a few weeks after reinitiating contact with ndad after not talking for 5 months)

Nmom: Yesterday was a year+ 1 day since I got the email from [my husband about setting NC].
I have been thinking about how odd it is that [my name] cannot appraise any information and critically assess better from the internet or whomever. I thought the whole point of [a high school program I went through 10+ years ago] was world harmony and peace through conflict resolution - didn't she even have classes on all that? Her relationship with [my high school friend group] obsession also odd, she got upset at me once as I could not say [my friend who does not have a stereotypically white name] name right, took offense etc like If's Mary or John. She seems to have to protect [my best friend] or prove that she's independent from us and their interactions last March i was there were trivial and frivolous kinda immature like hard to describe. There was another example earlier I thought of when she was quick to adopt polyamory etc that I thought was not thought thru at the time. Of course I did not debate etc. That was pre-[my husband], soon switched so idk it was like after she saw the NetFlix show on it saying monogamy was abnormal.
Ndad: Yesterday's show was good, and it was fair to say that men and women react differently to the same situation which, I think did create conflict between us e.g. Soft approach vs hard-line approach and then we also had your mother to contend with which didn’t help. But most of these are fairy common childhoods, nothing terrible like the children being physically, sexually abused or even picked on [lies]. In fact, they were privileged, not even helping clean, cook, helping for the most part.
I also feel that therapy is a double-edged sword from my own experiences. A person in emotional turmoil needs careful handling and too often, my therapists would focus on outcomes without looking at context. For example, I don't like XYZ because they erotionally abused me is the outcome, and a biased outcome as well. But the context would be, CYX told the child off because they were rude and offensive. Many therapists don’t care about context, just the outcome. This is wrong and all it does is reinforce the resentment in their patient and does not help the patient be compassionate to another’s position.
Both are mentally ill and not getting proper treatment, [my name] is getting reinforcement from people that are not well themselves and [my brother] is desperate for acceptance from friends to the point of casting everything else aside e.g. family, career, education, ambition, etc. and excusing his behavior as a product of childhood abuse (reinforced by others who have their own agendas). I invited him to visit three times, and each time he didn't call back but instead he decided to help a friend's friend whose mother died while ironically, his own father is seriously ill, hospitalized and unable to walk. [My name]’s obsession with how great other parents are compared to us is also ignorant and seemed to begin around age 14.
Personally, I am on the point of giving up on them. They cause more anguish during this time than all the medical stuff combined, it's distracting, heartbreaking and it's making me sicker. My primary doctor agrees. I gave [my brother] $6000 and $50000 in 2023 and in both cases, he neither called to say thanks or did anything constructive with it. Similarly with [my name], I was hospitalized, seriously ill and she decided it was a good time to cut me off for reasons I don't understand [took a 6 month break from talking and re-initiated contact before this email was sent]. its too much dealing with adult children.

I’m sure some of the letter was taken from something that scummy money grab “therapist” J*shua C*leman has put out, who she seems to have discovered per the emails (censoring his name because I wouldn't be surprised if his deranged ass had notifications for mentions online and who knows if he's working with my nparents or not). Can't wait for him to have his license revoked.

Hey guys I’m currently in the insurance industry and I absolutely hate it. I’m grateful to have a job. But I’m young (22F) and want to continue pushing to find a career that I will truly enjoy. I’m working to get a real estate license. But being realistic, you need money to build a business and I have bills to pay. So I’m not fully reliant that.
I’m a work now, party later type of person. So no… I’m not giving up on this because I’m young lol.
I have a bachelors in Marketing and Advertising. I minored in finance and economics. I have experience being a pharmacy technician for a summer. When I entered school I was a pre-pharmacy major until I switched to marketing late sophomore year. I am a makeup junky! I also love skincare and other selfcare remedies. I also started to enjoy going to med spas.
22F, I’ve worked since 16. I always had a job that would push me into the sales role because I’m great at customer satisfaction and experience. I love doing it and I enjoy the idea of it. However, I never liked it because management is annoying and I HATE micromanaging environment. I’m assuming it’s also because I never cared much about the product I’m selling and the person I’m selling to never wants to be bothered haha. I hate being forced to damn near harass a customer for a sale. But again that experience was in retail and call center position… I’m willing to give sales another shot but in a different environment. I’ve been hearing alot about medical device sales and started learning that there’s aesthetic sales reps too. Which sounds extremely interesting and a product I would enjoy representing. The market is absolutely scary right now. I’ve been networking on LinkedIn for months and I always need 80 years of experience(I’m exaggerating but you get the point). It’s so hard to get an interview or even just an email back. I’m absolutely terrified since I love the apartment I live in and being able to live on my own. However I’m so burnt out from my current job and they have done some things that left a BAD taste in my mouth since they are merging. I really want to leave my current position soon. Is there any advice you can give me? Or even company referrals? I’m lost but I’m trying to stay positive. But I also feel like I’m going insane <3 Also, these MLMs and scammers are so dominant on LinkedIn.

I started working for a tiny (4 people) not for profit the beginning of 2023 100% remote. I got no training, the girl with the knowledge avoided me. Her and my boss fought all the time and my boss would set me up to speak to her and ask questions or tell her things that would upset her (that I just wasn’t aware of as I had no context). The girl screamed down the phone at me twice because of this. They never provided me with a laptop, phone or anything else I needed to do the job. They used my personal phone number on all of their marketing materials because my boss didn’t want to receive the phone calls.
My boss was constantly going overseas while “working” and left EVERYTHING to me. She couldn’t use a computer. She harrassed me the entire year with up to ten texts calls email and impromptu meetings per day asking how to use her computer, where files were etc. I think she has dementia it was so bad.
I was left to my own devices with this incompetent angry lady. I was actively looking for work for 6 months and was offered a position but ultimately decided not to accept due to the office being so far away and I couldn’t manage it with my kids and school. I just kept looking for a role in the meantime.
The job got so bad as my manager had no idea how long things took to do and she couldn’t understand or keep track of my workload. She got so rude and harrassed me to the point I had a weeks stress leave a month ago. I got back and she ramped up her harassment with no understanding or empathy for my position at all. I finally quit last week after a particularly rude aggressive phone call from her asking me to detail my day minute by minute to her and I’m not working my notice period due to the stress of working there.
I agreed to an exit interview on Thursday, they promised he would be an independent HR person they would hire. Turns out he used to work with the CEO and asked inappropriate questions about my mental health history… amongst other strange things. I told him the truth about my boss and the impossible job and also the fact I’m the second person who has walked out of the position in 1.5 years… I wish I didn’t agree to the interview as he was really unprofessional and it wasn’t a good interview.
Lessons learned;
Always make sure the organisation has a HR department or person at least. Never work for a tiny organisation. If your boss is unwell or incompetent leave straight away - don’t delay. Don’t bother doing an exit interview. If you see red flags and feel uneasy around the people then it’s a sign to walk.
Protect your mental health out there people 🫶🏻✌🏻

Hey guys I’m currently in the insurance industry and I absolutely hate it. I’m grateful to have a job. But I’m young (22F) and want to continue pushing to find a career that I will truly enjoy. I’m working to get a real estate license. But being realistic, you need money to build a business and I have bills to pay. So I’m not fully reliant that.
I’m a work now, party later type of person. So no… I’m not giving up on this because I’m young lol.
I have a bachelors in Marketing and Advertising. I minored in finance and economics. I have experience being a pharmacy technician for a summer. When I entered school I was a pre-pharmacy major until I switched to marketing late sophomore year. I am a makeup junky! I also love skincare and other selfcare remedies. I also started to enjoy going to med spas.
22F, I’ve worked since 16. I always had a job that would push me into the sales role because I’m great at customer satisfaction and experience. I love doing it and I enjoy the idea of it. However, I never liked it because management is annoying and I HATE micromanaging environment. I’m assuming it’s also because I never cared much about the product I’m selling and the person I’m selling to never wants to be bothered haha. I hate being forced to damn near harass a customer for a sale. But again that experience was in retail and call center position… I’m willing to give sales another shot but in a different environment. I’ve been hearing alot about medical device sales and started learning that there’s aesthetic sales reps too. Which sounds extremely interesting and a product I would enjoy representing. The market is absolutely scary right now. I’ve been networking on LinkedIn for months and I always need 80 years of experience(I’m exaggerating but you get the point). It’s so hard to get an interview or even just an email back. I’m absolutely terrified since I love the apartment I live in and being able to live on my own. However I’m so burnt out from my current job and they have done some things that left a BAD taste in my mouth since they are merging. I really want to leave my current position soon. Is there any advice you can give me? Or even company referrals? I’m lost but I’m trying to stay positive. But I also feel like I’m going ✨insane✨ Also, these MLMs and scammers are so dominant on LinkedIn.

Friend of mine was involved in this (he didn't send any money but they wasted like 2 weeks of his time thinking he had a job lined up) and I didn't see any information about it online, so I'm putting it here in hopes it gets indexed by search engines if anybody is ever suspicious this might be a scam and looks it up. It's a decently common fake check scam, where they send you a check and then ask you to pay somebody else using the funds from the check.
They have a fake job listing, and you will receive an email back from a "careers-webai.com" domain. They say they have reviewed your resume and would like to proceed further, and then send you a google doc with questions to fill out, and after that, they say they have reviewed your answers and extend you an offer of employment. The first red flag here is that they didn't have a video call interview, but it's not COMPLETELY unheard of. They say they will buy you company equipment before your start date (standard practice), and then right before your start date, they send you a scan of a check, telling you to deposit it via mobile deposit. This is red flag #2, I don't even think scans of checks are valid to mobile deposit and no serious institution is going to send you a check to purchase things, they will use their payroll provider to direct deposit it. After you provide proof of deposit, they then ask you to send the funds to their "accredited vendor" via zelle or venmo who will purchase the supplies for you. Major red flag, no actual company is going to ask you to venmo them.
I took a look at all the documents because I was curious, and it was all pretty legitimate looking. The interview questions were all related to the job listing and even quite technical. The job offer looks to be copied a real job offer and goes into detail about termination, benefits, stock, confidentiality agreements, etc. The check looks super fake though. I probably would have fallen for it until the check since I've had identical conversations with employers (that were real luckily).
The bank is opening a fraud investigation on him for depositing a fake check, which could result in account closure apparently, and a mark on his banking record. So even if you don't fall for the scam, you can still get ruined from it. I think the scariest things about scams like these is they are nearly indistinguishable from legitimate job offers all the way up until they try to get you to buy company equipment on a check. By that time you are already a week or two into the scam, maybe more depending on when you said you start date would be. People quit their current jobs, move, make big purchases, etc in anticipation of a job they will never have and can fall into financial ruin without even sending the scammer a penny.
The scammers venmo is "cherriesinruin", putting this here as well in hopes it gets indexed by search engines if anyone is suspicious and looks it up.

Hey guys I’m currently in the insurance industry and I absolutely hate it. I’m grateful to have a job. But I’m young (22F) and want to continue pushing to find a career that I will truly enjoy. I’m working to get a real estate license. But being realistic, you need money to build a business and I have bills to pay. So I’m not fully reliant that.
I’m a work now, party later type of person. So no… I’m not giving up on this because I’m young lol.
I have a bachelors in Marketing and Advertising. I minored in finance and economics. I have experience being a pharmacy technician for a summer. When I entered school I was a pre-pharmacy major until I switched to marketing late sophomore year. I am a makeup junky! I also love skincare and other selfcare remedies. I also started to enjoy going to med spas.
22F, I’ve worked since 16. I always had a job that would push me into the sales role because I’m great at customer satisfaction and experience. I love doing it and I enjoy the idea of it. However, I never liked it because management is annoying and I HATE micromanaging environment. I’m assuming it’s also because I never cared much about the product I’m selling and the person I’m selling to never wants to be bothered haha. I hate being forced to damn near harass a customer for a sale. But again that experience was in retail and call center position… I’m willing to give sales another shot but in a different environment. I’ve been hearing alot about medical device sales and started learning that there’s aesthetic sales reps too. Which sounds extremely interesting and a product I would enjoy representing. The market is absolutely scary right now. I’ve been networking on LinkedIn for months and I always need 80 years of experience(I’m exaggerating but you get the point). It’s so hard to get an interview or even just an email back. I’m absolutely terrified since I love the apartment I live in and being able to live on my own. However I’m so burnt out from my current job and they have done some things that left a BAD taste in my mouth since they are merging. I really want to leave my current position soon. Is there any advice you can give me? Or even company referrals? I’m lost but I’m trying to stay positive. But I also feel like I’m going ✨insane✨ Also, these MLMs and scammers are so dominant on LinkedIn.

Hey guys I’m currently in the insurance industry and I absolutely hate it. I’m grateful to have a job. But I’m young (22F) and want to continue pushing to find a career that I will truly enjoy. I’m working to get a real estate license. But being realistic, you need money to build a business and I have bills to pay. So I’m not fully reliant that.
I’m a work now, party later type of person. So no… I’m not giving up on this because I’m young lol.
I have a bachelors in Marketing and Advertising. I minored in finance and economics. I have experience being a pharmacy technician for a summer. When I entered school I was a pre-pharmacy major until I switched to marketing late sophomore year. I am a makeup junky! I also love skincare and other selfcare remedies. I also started to enjoy going to med spas.
22F, I’ve worked since 16. I always had a job that would push me into the sales role because I’m great at customer satisfaction and experience. I love doing it and I enjoy the idea of it. However, I never liked it because management is annoying and I HATE micromanaging environment. I’m assuming it’s also because I never cared much about the product I’m selling and the person I’m selling to never wants to be bothered haha. I hate being forced to damn near harass a customer for a sale. But again that experience was in retail and call center position… I’m willing to give sales another shot but in a different environment. I’ve been hearing alot about medical device sales and started learning that there’s aesthetic sales reps too. Which sounds extremely interesting and a product I would enjoy representing. The market is absolutely scary right now. I’ve been networking on LinkedIn for months and I always need 80 years of experience(I’m exaggerating but you get the point). It’s so hard to get an interview or even just an email back. I’m absolutely terrified since I love the apartment I live in and being able to live on my own. However I’m so burnt out from my current job and they have done some things that left a BAD taste in my mouth since they are merging. I really want to leave my current position soon. Is there any advice you can give me? Or even company referrals? I’m lost but I’m trying to stay positive. But I also feel like I’m going ✨insane✨ Also, these MLMs and scammers are so dominant on LinkedIn.

Hi y'all,
I'm trying to figure out a new career path. You can skim my past posts for my current jobs toxicity. I just survived a mass lay-off but that's a big red flag to me to get a job lined up.
I have a BS in comms, minor in environ studies, but well, 3 years of applying to target titles and roles has failed, so my option are: 1. Keep trying the same jobhunting strategy. 2. Panic masters or study radiology tech 3. Learn a trade; i've poked around a bit and its tough. No continuing ed classes rn, most I found was online IT certs
I remember touring a water plant in an environmental studies course and most of the workers recommending it. It also feels like one of those jobs where no matter where you move to you could find work...
i just still had a few questions, specifically about a role like this water recovery assistant role:

1. Is there constant micromanagement and threat of termination?
   
2. Is there a career ladder? Like more than just shift lead, then shift manager?
   

-Sort of related, are there roles other than what the plant workers called "turd herding"?

1. Failing that, does it seem like it'd accommodate further education?
   
2. Do you really never get rid of the smell of waste?
   
3. Would you say realistically it provides a good income and QOL?
   

Basically, if your car breaks down, or you get sick, are you getting fired? Could you go on a real camping trip- not just an overnighter 40 mins from town, but like to the Adirondacks?
Would you be able to accommodate your personal and family life without getting fired? What about things as silly as wanting to learn a sport, martial arts, or commit to volunteer firefighting? Could you do that?

A job recruiter reached out to me via email to set up a job interview and did not include the name of the company, a link to a company website, or a phone number to call. All the recruiter sent me was the position title, a date and time for the interview and a zoom link.
You would think that if it were a real company then they would name the company, the email would have a corporate letterhead and they would have a phone number. This is definitely a scam right?

I figured I would post this since there isn’t a lot out there like this and get some fresh perspectives. So we met in 2010, dated for years. Was absolutely out of this world the first year. She F(22) and myself (29) at the time. Moved in together after 4 months and the passion was like nothing I had ever experienced. Well, I lost my job, was on unemployment and she was a waitress. We made ends meet. I finally got work about 6 months later and we started to have a life again. But everything was a whirlwind by year 4. I was doing good, making six figures, buying houses. It was evrything we always wanted . But she was on ig and got really popular and she started looking at that life. She had always done bikini contests and what not so, i thought we could handle it. Around 2017, we break up as we weren’t seeing eye to eye and she was always saying she wasn’t in it. Well, 2 months later she comes back. She had hooked up with two guys but never told me. So, we are back together for 6 months and we get engaged and life seems blissful, sort of. Just she didn’t seem right all the time but we were out planning the wedding and we ever go on a cruise and had the time of our life. Then in September things started getting off with her and she is pulling away. She had been talking and texting a guy for the last 6 months. Well, she leaves again, and gets her own place. I tried talking to her for a few months, even got her out but she wasn’t having it. Two months later she still has a Christmas dinner with her Mom and stepdad at my house while texting a guy the whole night she is there. She was going to stay the night but was just pushing it and wouldn’t stop so I told her she might as well leave. So, needless to say, we don’t talk again until 2 months later as she needs help moving some stuff and she is moving states away. That was the hardest time for me. Watching the last 8 years of my life drive off into the distance. Devastated was an understatement. Everything seemed so real at that point. I didn’t hear from her for about 10 months, maybe once but nothing really. I messaged her off and on. She would tell me not to message her as she was on dates or doing something else. But anyway, she tells me 10 months later that she needs help with her house and wants me to come up. So, I do and we hang out every day and night for a week. I couldn’t believe it was happening. I am a nervous wreck while I am there and just trying to be the old me. Well, a few mo the go by and she wants to make it official. So, I buy a house in her state and move up there. She sleeps with a guy she had been with a week before I get there and never says a thing. So I get up there and things seem off. And we got into it a lot and I couldn’t figure it out. Well 6 months go by and we flip a house and sell mine that we were staying at. While flipping the house, she wants a house with land so we buy another house and I think our lives can finally start, but she goes back to the house in a different state and tells me she is done. She talks to me every now and then and decides to do counseling over the phone. While in counseling she tells me she doesn’t know if she wants to continue because she may miss Mr. Right. Well, I stay where I am and finish up two flips. 3 months later she decides she wants to try us again, I find out about all the guys she has been with and what happened the last year and I was upset and deeply hurt. Told her I just need to work through all of this. Well, for the next two months I was kind of in and out. But got back to our baseline. For 6 months the or so, we were good but then everything was off again. She wanted to break up, but wanted to keep the house. I tried to make it work for the next six months but she wasn’t in it and wanted to be successful and be with someone successful. So, I leave the state for six months. And I don’t see or hear from her for a year. I am back in the state she is in and I go to a concert. Meanwhile she had been dating someone for the last 7 months. She messages me at the concert and says she is single. We meet up and I grab her and kiss her. She calls me after the concert and go back to her house and talk for 6 hours. Well slowly we start talking and before you know it are back again. Once again, good for 6 months and she is done. I would get anxious sometimes and push if she needed space. And the other times she really wasn’t in it. But this last time, for some reason she was different. And I was different. But we needed up in the same place. I am the affectionate one, I am the passionate one, I am one who made it feel special. But I feel such loss everytime she leaves. People use the word soulmate. But it’s like I met myself. She was a daredevil, loved going for motorcycle rides and nice cars, we loved all the same music, same shows, same beliefs and values. We played ping pong and did karaoke. It was like nothing I have ever experienced.
The strange part is…. I never followed the ex back coaches advice. I would email her and message her. I always stayed in contact. And I wonder if that’s why she came back but always left. Months apart, years apart, it didn’t matter. When we were back together, it was like we had seen each other 5 mins ago. She would get with other guys and date around but I never did. I worked and dated a few but nothing serious. Always thought about her, no one else really compared.
Well, fast forward to today. It’s been about two and half months and we haven’t spoken. I have sent her some emails telling her how I feel. And left it at that. She reads them all but doesn’t respond. I am trying to let go and really move on but I don’t know how to let go of her or what we had as we have been together for 14 years and no matter how crazy the story, my love for her is forever. I always think, maybe she will come back again this time, she has 5 other times. But then I think, what will be different. I stayed in contact before, I think this time, I will have to let it be, and she would have to come to me. I know I always saw her as the love of my life. It was never a question. She loved me but nothing how I viewed her. She always left and got with other guys and didn’t skip a beat. Life went on and couldn’t be better. But when she was in it, she was all about me. When she went into her off modes, she had nothing.
I know with most of the forums and stories, the women leave and they can’t get that feeling back. But for her it’s like an on/off switch. So, she can always find it again. I feel like I really don’t know what to do? Where to go. We were going to start a family this year and really move forward but that didn’t happen. Now I am wondering will she talk to me? Will it be years? I know she will date other people. Will she stay with one of them. It’s all a lot to take in right now and the last two months have really sucked. You think it would get easier being the 6th time but it really doesn’t. Maybe a little bit it still hits like a freight train.i guess i will leave this here and if you have any questions, can fire away. Sorry for the long read, but any thoughts would be appreciated.

Hello everyone,
Im coming to this Reddit because I’m honestly not sure how to handle this situation. It honestly makes me very sad and I feel like I’ve moved on and just want to move on with my life but my sister likes to drag me into drama.
For backstory I lived with my sister when I was 15. I slept on the couch and my mom slept in the spare bedroom. We had to move in there because we lost the house after my mom’s very messy and abusive divorce. I had been neglected for years at that point since I was 10 and my sister started to take care of me more than my mom had the time to. Which I loved at the time. She bought me clothes, spent time with me, etc. well after a few months she became less kind and more controlling. I was essentially the Cinderella of the household, needed to get straight As. She would scream at me if I dirtied a dish and if I let my shoulders show she would tell me to go pray to God. I had to memorize bible verses that were posted on my wall and recite them to her Etc.
I eventually became so stressed out I lost a ton of weight and was throwing up from so much anxiety. I also got my period twice a month from stress. I felt like I was always going to get yelled at or grounded; she really got in my head. To the point where I wasn’t allowed to talk to my mother alone, she would always be there to make sure I didn’t say I needed help. My mom noticed something was up and always would tell me we can leave if I want but I was always scared. Eventually it got to the point where I could swear my sister could tell what I was thinking. Looking back I was just very manipulated.
After dating my boyfriend (now Husband) for a while I realized I felt at peace at his family’s house. His parents were kind and I felt safe. I realized what I was going through really wasn’t normal so I told my mom I couldn’t take it anymore and I just wanted my sister to be my sister. My sister kicked me out at 17, told my mom she didn’t have to leave but I did. My mom and I moved into my friends bottom floor and rented a room. I eventually moved out on my own after I graduated and went to college etc. Also my sister sent me demand letters asking for $5k for the time she spent taking care of me and buying me food and clothes. The last I spoke with her I was saying I’m sorry and I hope we can still get along but she sent me lots of “F U” emails afterward asking for money.
Fast forward to now. I’ve been doing well, I’m married, we both have decent jobs and I’m very happy in life and I don’t think much about my past unless my mom or other sister brings it up. My husband and I are very in love after 8 years (total) of being together and enjoy traveling.
Anyway my sister 42f apparently talks about me to my other sister 32f and essentially hates me. My sister 32f told me today my 42f sister has been telling the whole family that I’m terrible and my husband is controlling etc. which gives me anxiety because honestly I don’t want to lose more family nor do I want to be seen as unkind. I’m trying not to stress about it because I don’t want to feel sick but it’s just hard. I have my grandmothers funeral coming up and it really sucks feeling anxious going to it and seeing her while also knowing others may hate me too. Any advice on how I should handle this?

In hindsight, I should have known something was wrong with The Caeles Academy of Acting.
Maybe the fact that it doesn't exist to the outside world.
This place prided itself on famous alumni it didn't actually name, and a once in a lifetime opportunity to work with the best in the business.
It's what I wanted.
More than anything.
After enduring four years of high school with barely a semblance of a drama club (we met every month, and our teacher was an alcoholic), and countless failed auditions, I was ready to take my acting career seriously. I had one year.
According to my parents, I had one year to make a living from my passion.
If it didn't work out, I would be on the first plane back to Connecticut.
It's not like they didn't trust me. I think they were just scared I wouldn't be able to financially support myself. So, I got a job right out of high school and slipped a year. Drama schools are expensive, and college’s are cut-throat on who they take on. I found Caeles Academy by accident–or, I guess it found me?
After researching cheap drama classes, auditions, academy’s, literally anything to progress my career, an ad popped up.
Not exactly flashy.
Just a date, a time, and a promise that they only take the best. I ignored it, but throughout the week, I started getting more ads. Just the words, “IMPRESS US - - JOIN CAELES ACADEMY NOW.”
Followed by, “BE WITH THE BEST, AND BE THE BEST. JOIN THE S CLASS NOW.”
When I googled the academy, nothing came up.
I gave up, clicking on the ad, which sent me straight to an application form.
I filled in my details as more of a joke. But I wasn't expecting to get an email back. Again, it was a time, a date, and that exact same tagline: “Impress us.”
However, Caeles Academy was different from what I imagined.
I was expecting a university building, or at least some modern structure.
Judging from their marketing and ads, I figured they could at least afford decent premises. Though I was mistaken. When I stepped out of the Uber, I found myself staring at what looked like an abandoned office tower, a red-brick monolith in the middle of nowhere.
Which was crazy, because I swore a girl wearing a bikini had strode through the doors, with nothing but her phone, and a coffee tucked under her elbow.
According to the text sent from the academy, the auditioning rooms were on the third floor.
Tipping my head back, the checkerboard of broken windows didn't exactly instil confidence.
Neither did the clunky set of automatic doors that took a while to open.
It was a summer's day, and the heat was already baking through my dress, sweat sticky on the back of my neck.
I wanted to make a good impression, but the heels were a little over the top.
Though I had also seen a girl casually walk in wearing a two piece bikini.
“Well?”
Freddie’s voice made me jump. I forgot I was on the phone to him. I was excited the whole car-ride, already high on five coffees, and now I was silent.
If I perceived the ‘academy’ from an objective standpoint, it definitely looked like the perfect place to be brutally murdered. But my own personal opinion was it was.. okay.
“What's it like?”
I pretended not to see a rat scuttling under an old candy wrapper.
“It's… fine.”
“Just fine?”
I could hear the smirk in my friend’s tone. He couldn't wait to tell me it was a scam, and had been reminding me all week I was essentially willingly selling myself to the black market. I was stubborn, so, fine sounded better than my initial first impression.
Which was to turn around, walk away, and completely block the place from my memory.
Unfortunately, at that moment, I valued my pride over my awareness.
“It's… okay.” I said, trying to find positives. I was staring at a looming grey building with shattered windows and a resident rat living near the door. I had a hard time figuring out how the girl from earlier had just casually strode inside, barefoot too. I glanced down at the ground, immediately regretting it.
Like there weren't bits of chewing gum and grime stuck to the concrete.
“Huh.” Freddie said, his tone creeping into teasing territory. “You're really selling it.”
“It just looks like a building,” I muttered, my gaze glued to the rat, who looked a little too comfortable.
Maybe it was a pet.
I was getting progressively more infuriated the more I stared down this place. Judging from the decades old writing ingrained into the door, it used to be a dentist surgery. “What do you want me to say?” I wasn't even trying to hide the scorn from my voice. “It's a building that looks like an academy.”
“Can you send a picture?” Freddie asked, “Ooh, wait, I'll face-time you.”
“That's, uh, that’s not really necessary–”
I was cut off, suddenly, when a guy threw himself through the automatic doors, palms first. He took two stumbled steps forwards, one back, and lifted his head, half lidded eyes finding the sky, before dropping to his knees and heaving up pinkish liquid.
I could see him trying to hold it in, slamming his hands over his mouth, only for it to splurge through his fingers, showering the ground in greyish pink froth.
Like he'd downed a bottle of Pepto Bismol.
Inching towards him, I realized it was Pepto Bismol.
The stink made my own stomach churn.
“Missy?”
I found my voice. “Uh, can I call you back later?”
Before my friend could answer, I ended the call, slipping my phone in my pocket.
The guy was still heaving, coughing up globules of pink.
“Are you okay?”
The sound of my heels click-clacking on concrete made me cringe. The guy noticed, flinching away. Closer, and I could see his scraggly blonde hair.
He was handsome.
Without the bile spewing down his chin.
Early twenties, wearing a fitted white shirt now covered in streaks of bright pink. Part of me wanted to make a half-hearted joke, but getting even closer, so close I could smell his pepto-breath, I noticed he was trembling, his hands clenched into fists.
When I attempted to awkwardly pat him on the shoulder, he twisted around, so fast my morning coffee slithered its way back up my throat.
His eyes were wide, almost feral, studying me like a wild animal.
I noticed the whites of his pupils were red, like he'd burst a blood vessel.
Theatre kids were intense, though I had never met THIS kind of intense.
“Are you… going in there?” The guy’s voice was a child-like whimper I wasn't expecting.
It looked like he was slowly regaining clarity, staring down at his filthy shirt, his hands stained bright pink.
I nodded, uncertainly, offering him my water. “Yeah. Did you audition?”
He shoved it away, slapping himself in the face. “I… I don't know.”
“You… don’t know?”
Suddenly, it was like something had contorted in his expression, a switch being pulled. I wasn't expecting him to twist around so fast. The guy slowly cocked his head, his lips breaking into a grin. His eyes, however, stayed the same.
“Of course I've auditioned.” He said, with a laugh.
“It was the best experience of my life!" His mouth formed an almost mocking frown.
“Unfortunately, I didn't make the cut. Which is a real shame. I'm sure Caeles would have benefited from my talents.”
What was weird, is that his mouth was moving, but he wasn't even looking at me, frenzied eyes caught in an oblivion I couldn't see.
When he did look at me, his expression crumpled all over again.
Pepto jumped to his feet, brushing himself down.
I couldn't take his over the top smile seriously, when his eyes were screaming, hollowed out caverns silently begging me to listen.
This guy was fucking crazy.
“Wait.” Pepto whispered, when I turned to walk away.
He pulled out his phone, tapping the screen before shoving it in my face.
I HAD SO MUCH FUN AT THE CAELES ACADEMY AUDITIONS :)
When I could only stare at him in confusion, Pepto’s gaze flicked to his phone, swiping bile from his lips.
His eyes went cartoon wide, like he couldn't believe what he himself was typing.
“That… that's not what I was trying to say!” He tried retyping it, but the guy was just writing strings of emoji hearts.
I didn't know what to say. I had dealt with rejection before, but I had never gone this far. Pepto was having a full on mental breakdown, his body shuddering, teeth chattering, blinking eyes and lips parting as if to speak, but choking on his words. When he started clawing out his hair, I took the opportunity to make a quick getaway.
Before I could make it to the doors, though, Pepto jumped in front of me, waving his phone directly in my face.
“Just…” he pointed at the screen. “It won't let me…” Growing frustrated with himself, he let out a wet sounding sob, clawing his fingers through his hair.
“Fuck, it won't let me…it won't let me type! It's not letting me type!”
By now, he had tufts of hair stuck between his fingernails. I don't know why his first reaction was to immediately try ripping his hair out.
A quick glance at my own phone reminded me of my own audition that was in five minutes.
Meanwhile, I was dealing with what I was pretty sure was delusion, denial, or a mixture of both.
I was considering pushing past him, when Pepto’s phone screen hit me in the face. Again.
This time, though, there was coherent writing.
“FIND LUKE.”
“Luke?” I said. “Who's that?”
“Luke!” The guy was bouncing on the heels of his feet. “He's my…” Pepto drifted off, his eyes going vacant, as if I could physically see his brain being plucked from his skull. Pepto dropped his phone, and I grabbed it before it could hit the ground. His hands went to his curls, clawing, scratching, until he was drawing blood across his forehead.
“I… I don't know! I can't… I can't remember. Luke. He was my… he was my… I don't know, I can't… I can't–”
I stumbled back when he let out a shriek, scratching at his face.
“Fuck!” He whimpered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
Pepto grabbed my shoulders, shaking me, his fingers digging into my skin.
“I don't know who he is.” He gritted out, pink froth pooling from his lips.
Pepto broke out into a sob. “I don't… I don't know who he is, but you can find him, right? You can… you can find…”
Again, he trailed off mid sentence, his hands going limp around my shoulders.
I managed to side step him, swallowing a cry.
“Yeah, I'll, um, I'll find him for you.”
Pepto backed away, suddenly, stumbling over himself.
His gaze found mine, vacant, like a baby deer.
“Find who?”
I didn't wait around to answer him, pushing through the doors and stepping inside.
The interior was unsurprisingly even worse than the exterior.
The elevator was broken, so I had to run up three flights of stairs.
I expected at least an attempt at an academy, even in the dregs of an old dentist surgery.
What I got, though, was a never ending staircase, obnoxious photos of teeth greeting me on every level.
The third floor was… less clinical.
I strode directly into a waiting room filled with college aged students, either sitting on plastic chairs, or standing around, rehearsing.
The room itself was cosy enough, a navy carpet and a TV playing a random Twitch stream.
Situated in the middle was a desk with a bored looking woman behind it.
Her smile was fake. I could understand her pain. She was stuck in a room with theatre kids all day.
“Sign here.” She prodded a sheet of paper.
I was convinced her voice was AI.
While I was scribbling my details, I took a moment to notice the stark difference from the kids entering the room, to the ones leaving. The kids entering wore wide, confident smiles and were social butterflies, chatting amongst themselves.
The kids leaving reminded me of pod people.
They left the room silent, in an orderly line with dazed smiles on their faces, like they weren't sure where they were.
I watched one guy walk directly into the wall instead of taking a left toward the exit, and a girl straight up just toppled down the stairs.
The kids waiting with me named them rejects.
I wasn't convinced until I glimpsed an empty bottle of Pepto Bismol sitting on the floor by the window.
Thinking back to Pepto, that made a lot of sense.
I was still dazedly staring at the bottle, when my name was called.
Jumping to my feet, I did my best to calm myself down, straightening my ponytail. Pepto had really screwed with my head. I could barely even remember the lines I had been rehearsing for a week straight.
I was muttering my lines to myself, when I stepped through the door.
The door that apparently turned you into a pod-person on the way out.
For a moment, I thought I was blinded by stage lights.
It was so bright.
The glow bathing me was clinical, stabbing into my eyes.
When I blinked, I found myself standing in front of three shadows sitting in front of me.
Their chairs were made of leather, far different from the plastic ones in the waiting room.
So, they did have filthy cash.
I was looking at one man, and two women.
They were… average?
I expected them to be more glitzier, but they were just regular people.
The man was in his late twenties, maybe early thirties, a stiff looking brunette wearing a suit and tie, one leg crossed over the other. His eyes were narrowed slightly, lips curved into the start of a smile. Like I amused him.
The women were polar opposites.
One of them was my Mom’s age, grey hair and floral clothing. She took a sip of water, her gaze burning into me.
Google told me not to be intimidated by their stares, but it was impossible.
These people were carving holes into my skull.
Sitting next to her, a younger girl who seemed to own the color red.
Her hair simmered, blood red, while she herself was sculpted in a dress, perfect cherry lips spread in a wide smile.
With a little too many teeth.
They studied my face like I was already theirs, drinking in every inch of me.
Freddie said I had to find a weakness in their expression and use it to my advantage.
If I could find the prick of a genuine smile, I could become their favorite.
“Hi!” I said. My caffeine intake was starting to take effect.
I didn't realize I was bouncing up and down until I caught myself.
Red’s smile stretched wider.
Maybe they liked my eagerness.
“My name is Misa.” I introduced myself, staying casual, keeping my arms by my sides. “I'm twenty one years old–”
I choked on my next words when Red spoke up. “Impress us, Misa,” Her voice was a smooth, almost seductive rasp, and I felt myself fall into it, enveloped in sugar that was too sweet, and yet I couldn't stop myself. She folded her arms across her chest, her gaze challenging me to do something different. To make her want me.
“Show us something we have never seen before.” She stood up, cat-like eyes narrowing, “Show us how desperate you are to join this prestigious class.”
I nodded, and began.
I had planned a whole monologue, practised it over and over again, forcing Freddie to judge me with a none biassed opinion.
I was three lines in, when Red started laughing.
“Stop.”
I did, my cheeks heating up, and she started clapping.
“Sweetie, oh, stop, you're adorable!” She said, her lips curving into a cruel smirk.
She leaned forward, like I was something that entertained her, jostling her heeled foot. “We don't take amateurs. I think you need to go back to school.”
This woman was definitely a psychopath.
Empty eyes sparkling with a gleam that definitely enjoyed humiliating candidates, and a twisted smile that was a little too wide. Red made me want to crawl into the ground.
She made me want to turn around, leave the room, and quit my dream. I was aware of my own fury, my embarrassment turning my cheeks crimson. I matched her.
Maybe that's what she wanted all along. To wear the color of her victims.
Taking a shaky step back, I started to nod, started to agree, my mouth choking with the words, “You're right. I'm sorry for wasting your time."
I had never received proper constructive criticism from a professional standpoint.
Which meant I really did suck.
But I didn't move. I didn't want to move, and Red continued laughing, her companions sitting in silence.
The man rolled his eyes with a loud, exaggerated sigh.
Like I was boring.
The older woman pulled out her phone.
“Misa, you are…cute.” Red said. “But you're not quite what we are looking for.”
I wasn't sure I could admit it right there, but she made me feel things.
Like I was ignited.
Like I was going to prove this crazy bitch wrong.
I found my voice, strong and confident, despite my hammering heart.
“Give me another chance.”
Red’s lips curled. “So cute, Misa. Oh, sugar bear, It would be better if you left the room. Unless you want to embarrass yourself further! In that case, be my guest!”
She turned her attention to her nails, nudging the guy.
“Dinner?” She hummed. “I'm thinking of Italian. You are quite the wine connoisseur, Nicholas. Why don't you introduce me to your favorite?”
“Hey.” I blurted.
They ignored me, getting a little too close.
I don't know why I continued, reading my lines, screaming them, so I would be heard. I read them perfectly, and tweaking the genre from drama to romance, and then to horror. I became three different characters, a high school girl struggling with cancer, a final girl, and a woman going through a divorce.
I was fucking perfect.
But they weren't listening to me, caught up in their own conversation.
I tried again.
And again.
And again.
By now, I was on my knees, my fingers ripping into my hair. I was seeing red.
“We want originality, Misa,” Red said, sucking her teeth.
Her voice crawling into my skull was enough.
She still wanted me.
The thought polluted the back of my mind, taking a strangling hold. She still wanted me. When I lifted my head, Red wasn't looking at me, her gaze on the table grains. “Show us something new.”
I got to my feet, panting, my breath in my throat.
I became a screaming, strangled mess, a woman who lost her baby.
Red’s interest was piqued. Only slightly. Through my fraying vision, she slowly turned in her chair. “Again.” She clapped her hands, “Come on, Misa! We want new! We want never been fucking done before! Are you deaf?”
I couldn't stop the sobs escaping my mouth.
They lost interest again, right in the middle of my reading.
“Why can't you look at me?” I found myself spluttering.
When the man pulled out a bottle of water, I pulled off my heel and lobbed it at his face.
“Look at me!”
He did. Slowly. His gaze found me, for perhaps the first time.
Not as an amateur, but as a potential candidate.
Around the twentieth attempt, I started to laugh. Never been done before? I could feel my fingernails already in my scalp, clawing chunks of my hair out.
Reality contorted, and I felt myself drop to my knees. I was still laughing, spluttering, sobbing. I could still hear her in my head. Never Been Done Before. I started slowly, dragging my fingernails down my face until I felt the harsh sting.
“Again.” Red said, and her voice led me to stare down at my hands, at pinkish flesh glued to my bones, fleshy mounds.
So easy to tear. I didn't even feel it.
Only the sudden, unbridled euphoria of biting into my own skin, locking in my jaw, and ripping into myself.
When I tore it from the bone, warmth filled my mouth, and I was choking, guzzling down my own flesh, mulling it in my mouth and swallowing.
I can't remember how I got so deep, and why I didn't stop.
Why I didn't fucking scream.
But it didn't matter.
Red was standing up. She was clapping, her lips spread into a grin.
Her applause filled me with stars.
So, I ripped my hair from my scalp, a hysterical giggle escaping my lips.
She loved me.
I could see her jumping up and down, clapping.
Louder, and louder.
Her applause controlled me, twisting and contorting me into hers.
I didn't even think. I wanted to impress her, and doing this was doing just that.
My fingers were delving into my right eye socket, clawing my eye out. It didn't even hurt. Not with her thundering applause that was deafening, beautiful, an orchestra in my ears.
When I was semi conscious, my eye was crushed in my hand, but my vision was still mine, almost too clear. I could see streaks of red blurred between my lashes. My hair was caught between my fingers. But I wanted to do more.
When I stumbled to my feet, Red’s smile was so beautiful.
The man, however, looked horrified.
“Someone bring in the one of the successes,” Red’s voice was a shrill giggle, “Bring him in!” she clapped her hands together, and I spat out a fleshy thing. “I want to see them together! I want to see the future in front of us!”
Footsteps coming towards me in slow, shuddery thumps. I looked up, and a shadow was dancing around me.
When I slowly rose to my feet, I half realized I’d bitten my toe off. The shadow had a face, a boy who was younger than me. I think he used to have hair, but half of it was gone, half of it was still stuck between his fists. When I found his eyes, I found twin caverns instead.
Eyes that were still physically there, and yet there was no life.
No spark.
I was staring at a dead body, a flesh puppet who had lost his strings.
When he grabbed my hands, pulling me into a waltz, I caught a smear of scarlet trickling down the back of his neck. When I followed it upwards, his head was covered, slick, dripping with red.
Like me, he matched her too.
And he was beautiful, she told me, her push, her thunderous applause, guiding me into a waltz.
His feet moved, perfecting every step, and my foggy mind couldn't understand why. He matched my every move, the two of us floating across the floor.
My feet knew the steps before my mind.
How could he dance? I thought, dizzily.
How could he dance, when smeared scarlet followed his twisting, and turning and pirouetting feet?
Because underneath that swimming clinical light, the back of the boy’s head had been carved away, a perfectly sculpted cavern where his brain should have been. I could see the severed stem, where it had cleanly plucked out.
His fingers cradled in mine were wet. Swimming in blood.
His own blood.
Spinning round and around, I imagined myself as a princess.
I saw an 18th century ballroom lit up around us. Glittering smiles and glasses of champagne, long, flowing ball gowns.
I blinked, and my head was tipped back, gliding in blood once again.
When he pulled me to his chest, I stumbled, and a name came to light.
Luke.
I had found him.
Our finishing spin left me hard to breathe.
My body was broken, ripped into, and yet somehow not.
By the time we were finished, the two of us bowing, my mind was full of fog.
Cotton candy.
“Congratulations!” Red’s smile was inhuman, stretching right off of her face.
“You're in the S class!”
I was led through a door that wasn't the one I entered from. Inside the room were a dozen or so students, kneeling on the floor. They were missing parts of themselves, like unfinished puzzle pieces.
I dropped onto my knees next to a girl without a head. I could only see her torso, but I knew she was smiling.
Looming over us, was the goddess Athena drenched in blood that was still wet.
Dripping, pooling from every crevice of her dress.
Looking closer, this statue was moving.
Something sickly crept into my mouth.
Her right eye was human, a twitching eyeball sandwiched inside the stone.
It didn't match her. It was wrong, horrifying, like a painting, a real human eye struggling to focus on us.
And then, my own gaze found the statues head, where a real human brain had been forced inside perfect white, pink, greyish mush dripping down the sculpted, slender neck.
I could see where it had been pushed, pulverised through the stone.
The statue’s singular eye found me.
Its dancing pupil jumped up and down.
Before it blinked.
Next to me, Luke was on his knees, as if in prayer.
I can't remember leaving the room.
I just remember running.
Back down the stairs, stumbling, staggering over myself.
I was screaming by the time I reached the doors.
They opened, as usual.
But I couldn't get through. I tried, but I was slamming into something I couldn't see.
Pepto was still waiting outside. The sky was dark.
When he saw me, he stumbled over, slamming his hands into the glass.
I couldn't even understand myself. I was just fucking screaming.
Pepto held up his phone.
“DID YOU FIND HIM?”
I shook my head.
“No.” I lied.
I can't tell him the truth. I don't even know what it is.
“I can't get out!”
Pepto nodded slowly, typing something and showing me his phone.
I'm getting you both out of there. I think I know how I can get inside.
It's been 3 days, and Pepto is yet to return.
I’ve tried multiple times to cry out for the H word. But it won't let me type it.
Please H me. I need to get out of this place.
Fuck. Get me OUT OF HERE.
Classes start tomorrow.

I'm writing this in a fog; I've been crying almost non-stop all day. Still, I had to tag this "humor", just because of how utterly ridiculous it is from start to finish.
I work at an urban Title 1 middle school, and there are some positives but the bad outweighs the good. I've been on the recieving end of physical aggression many times, and I deal daily with the usual disrespect, eloping, work avoidance, theft, fights, and admin indifference. But, some of the kids are awesome and I really like most of my coworkers. So I grin and bear it, even though I'm exhausted and depressed much of the time.
Last fall, I happened to run into a former student's mom, who worked in the office at one of the highest performing high schools in our city (and the state). She mentioned there was a job opening up next year, and asked if I was interested. This school is known to be one of the most coveted for teachers in our area, and it's hard to get into because there's barely any turnover. So of course I said yes, and started dreaming of how great it'd be to work at a place with a happy staff and respectful hard-working kids.
But right from the start, there were issues. I applied in January-- but HR literally lost my application. Wasn't in the system anywhere. I tried applying several times, and got the same issue. The principal said she couldn't interview me if I wasn't in the system, so naturally I tried to contact HR. I called the # on the website, but an answering machine directed me to send an email instead. So I sent an email, but it bounced back with instructions to open a Zendesk ticket. Tried that, no response. Etc etc etc.
Now it's February, and I guess the principal got tired of the hold-ups so she passed me off onto the dept. head to sort it out. Now I'm trying to coordinate with this guy, but he's flaky as all hell. For every email I send him, it's at least 2 weeks and a follow up email before he responds. Eventually he brings me in for an informal interview, with my application still missing-- in mid-March. At that point I'm told that it's only a part-time position, with the possibility of leading to full-time if all goes well. Me and my bank account aren't thrilled, so I go to my current employer and propose that if I get an offer, I'd like to stay employed there but reduce my hours next year in order to free me up for the other school. Surprisingly, they agree to it-- even they recognize what an amazing opportunity this is, and how it benefits them to have a member of that school's staff working for them.
Interview goes well. Dept Head says he'll make sure my missing application is found and processed ASAP, which seems like a good sign they want to hire me-- but, unsurprisingly, that doesn't happen. It's crickets from everyone. I'm now resorting to having the mom track people down for me to get answers, but even she's getting nowhere. Then about 3 weeks after my interview, I get a rushed email from Dept Head saying he still can't find my application but offering me the job anyway. I readily accept, and he says to expect HR to contact me within a couple of days to begin onboarding. Bet you can guess how that went...crickets, again.
In the middle of all this, my current employer is preparing next year's contracts. I try to hold them off, but they need to know my plans. They've offered to work around my new schedule, but nobody, including myself, knows what my new schedule even IS.
April passes, and then the 1st week of May, all the while I'm desperately trying to get answers from ANYONE about my onboarding, to no avail. I have no proof of a job other than one informal email from Dept Head that he never followed up on, and not a peep from HR. My current job can't wait any longer and they take the part-time offer off the table. They tell me I have to sign a full-time contract or nothing at all, and with no word from the new job, I feel I have no choice but to do it.
2 days after I sign my new contract, 5 months after I initially applied, and 2 months after I interviewed, both Dept Head and HR reach out. Miraculously, they've found my missing application, and they're ready to onboard me. I have to respond and tell them I'm no longer available. That the delays left me with no choice but to stay where I was, and it's just not feasible to quit a full-time job to work part-time. They apologize, kind of, and encourage me to try again in 2025. IF there's an opening.
So, I just signed up for another year of abuse. Another year of kids who can barely function and indifferent parents and admin. Another year in a crumbling building. Another year of exhaustion. I feel like an escape hatch opened up and right as I was about to step in, it closed. And the worst part is, absolutely none of it was my fault.
I'm probably going to spend the next year resenting the hell out of every single person I see, constantly upset that I have to be HERE instead of THERE where I belong. I'm also feeling burning rage toward HR and the Dept Head (who, to twist the knife a bit more, just announced that he's LEAVING at the end of the year! ) for creating this mess.
If you've read this far, thanks. May your HR people be more on top of their shit than these ones were.

Hi everyone.
I'm 31F and almost 31w pregnant with first baby. I work in a reception of a busy (non NHS) clinic. My only "peer" is my supervisor who according to the job description does pretty much the same as me, runs a clinic (I'm trying not to give too much away about my job but it involves working with lots of trainees who are not always punctual at collecting pts and the pts are a demanding lot).
Anyway, she has brown nosed her way into being involved in way more "exciting" stuff with higher up medics and she barely does any of her actual job now. She sits there typing emails all day whilst I run around crazily trying to organise everything. This has always pissed me off bc I get paid not a lot and I feel I do her job now too! We've done risk assessments etc but it somehow ends the same way in real life, I'm left to do it all and she gets the credit. Also I must add, I'm stuck in that awful situation that she's also my friend when she's not being so bad.
Now I'm getting further along in my pregnancy I'm feeling weaker and can't move as quickly as I used to. I feel a lot of pelvic pain and I'm so easily breathless! But guess what - in the upcoming week I'm being left to run the most hectic clinic on my own. I'm genuinely losing sleep, lol hence why I'm awake writing this at 01:00. I'm not due to start mat leave til 37 weeks bc everyone told me it was a waste. I feel so anxious and upset, it's affecting my personal life as well. My husband is so angry about the situation and urges me to go on sick leave for stress but I'm such a nervous wreck about leaving them high and dry so early, bc I am returning to this job after my mat leave. Lots of catty people there who only call out your mistakes.
If you've read this I genuinely applaud you. I feel so shit rn I can't explain.
Tldr overcompensating pregnant woman doing work of 2 people feels guilty taking sick leave to cope with anxiety of being said overcompensating pregnant worker.

I work as a Director for a non profit organization in which we have to deal with a lot of youth and volunteers. I’ve recently been promoted and now have a small staff under me. Before I was promoted I developed a friendly relationship with our risk management director. She’s very thorough with her job and a good person but…
Lately she’s been on a rampage sending “clap back” type of emails to volunteers. Some are downright rude and unnecessary. She has a very brash personality in general and I’ve brought this to her attention multiple times, even so far to pull up one of her emails and show her how I’d re-write it to sound more neutral and on brand with the organization. I don’t know if she just doesn’t care anymore or feels justified but she keeps doing it. My boss told me on Friday that she got 3 complaints in a week.
Has anyone dealt with a situation before? How can I approach this with her next week? Formal warning, pip plan? I just don’t get how someone can think sending emails like that is ok, especially in her role. 🫠 Any insight is appreciated! 😫

Hello!
I had been job searching for 7 months and finally landed a job that sort of fits the description of what I was looking for. After about 2 weeks in, I realize that my boss is kind of a maniac and a ball buster via email but always nice in person. Anyway, he sent out a very frank and intense email to me that caused severe panic and overwhelming anxiety. ( if i don’t fix this thing, it’ll be a short ride at this office). I am putting in a lot of effort to ask questions, be proactive and do what needs to be done, but damn that was crazy to hear. He is a 60 yr old dude w zero patience and I work in the entertainment industry. All this to say, that although I am not excited about the trajectory of this job, I am going to try to grind it out for 2 years and open up my own practice/company. But damn, the anxiety is so insane and I also have OCD, so I am always having feedback loops of the emails I sent and the conversations we have. Kind of feel stuck but also know it’s an opportunity to grow. Can’t really make it make sense but I see the long term goal here and will struggle through it lol. Anyone else can relate to anything I am saying? Like what should I do or don’t do? Not wanting to leave but also like.. WTF?

I have mentored 4 student teachers in the past two years, with only 1 showing an outstanding attitude and work ethic. My first one helped herself to my secret stash of chocolate, giving it to a work colleague, so I couldn’t stress-eat in my recess break. She also invited herself out to dinner with other (too-nice colleagues) and said “Oops! Can you spot me? I don’t have any money on me.” She did not pay him back. She used to rock up 29 minutes before class, sit at my desk and require reminders to stop being on her laptop when I’d previously arranged for her to supervise a small group. Student 2 used to skip into my room and ask me “What’s your goal that you want to achieve today?” before informing me that she was off her ADHD meds and all over the shop. Which brings me to my current student teacher. I’ve awkwardly been put into a situation where she is a parent at the school. - not even manage to locate the paperwork she needs to record her observations, lesson plans or know what rubric I’m assessing her on (I found it all within 10 minutes of reading the Uni handbook). - Writes lesson plans that require me to spellcheck (I can’t even at this point). Lesson plans arrive 3 days after discussion. - I get emails seeking clarification on things we have already discussed, or I have provided resources for them to research content knowledge, behaviour management etc but then actively asking questions that could be answered by reading the said resources. - Not having access to personal laptop or knowing how to log in to access her Uni things from the school laptop I’ve provided. - I get 3am emails because she’s stressing at how she’ll be able to cope and has stated she wants to cry when some student (Junior kids) needs her support and she doesn’t know how to give it. I mean….this parent has a child in exactly the same age group! - I’ve reassured her that she doesn’t have to do it all and I do not have expectations that everything will be perfect but to prioritise what’s important- observing, getting to know students and writing a lesson plan. Yet I’m the one accessing all of the materials she needs and I cannot believe I am dealing with a grown adult here. -It’s not even a ‘student teacher’ thing for me- I’m just finding it depressing that people who are so obviously unsuited to being a teacher are studying a Masters, and have stated that they are doing this because ‘they’re scared that AI will take their current job’ is setting our profession up for failure. My most competent student teacher who will become a fabulous teacher over time is the only thing that motivates me to keep mentoring. Thanks for the rant….It’s a laugh or cry situation….🤦🏾‍♀️🤯

I know I have made some extremely stupid decisions here and I regret it, but I would really appreciate some advice.
I have applied to many jobs and I’ve lost track of them. Recently, I have received an interview (I’ve gotten all rejections so far) from a “relatively large brand” to work as a female kiosk worker in a well known shopping centre. The job was a completely normal retail job which had a slightly above average salary and the job description seemed fine. The email that I received stated that they were “impressed by my experience and qualifications” even though I have very little experience and they were willing to accommodate to my needs and provide info on the interview (which I found odd). The interview itself was held in their office, which is located in a dodgy council estate and that’s kinda where I knew I messed up.
Here is some info about the company:
The company itself seems decently big and has many locations internationally, but there is no information on them. They have 0 reviews on trust pilot, their products are really over priced (selling diffusers for £700💀) and there’s like 3 google reviews for their UK branch which doesn’t make sense as they claim to be a leading brand. I searched for the kiosk in the shopping centre and they didn’t have one, so after discovering all this, I kindly declined the interview.
Now the problem right now is my CV, which has all my info on it. I was taught to put my address, number and university in my CV and I wasn’t really aware those details weren’t needed (I know it was really naive and dumb of me to put it in). Does this sound like some sort of trafficking scheme and what can they possibly do with the info stated above?
Deep down I am hoping this is a genuine company as the emails I have received were professional + it was their company’s email address and I have been given the managers phone number. But I am feeling really paranoid

Help! I may have messed up pretty bad this semester. It's my final semester for my major in computer science and I just went through my graduation ceremony. To finish my degree, I had to take an advanced algorithms class with a professor I really strongly disliked. I had a previous class with him and didn't learn a thing, and I only passed by struggling through it with friends. This semester, however, I had no one to rely on, and to make matters worse, it was an early morning class. Long story short, I let the assignments fly by and didn't attend many classes, instead choosing to focus on my other courses.
Of course, this was a HORRIBLE idea. I realized that the last month of class, and managed to complete every homework I missed (he wouldn't regrade them of course, but they make up a bigger report thats due at the end of the semester). I also worked hard on the final project for the course, teaming up with a random classmate, and ended up with a solid final product on time (I hope it was good, at least. I put a lot of time into it). Then, I also completed the final essays on time as well. According to my calculations, with everything I've submitted, I may BARELY pass with a 72% (70% is passing). I could be wrong though, the grading rubric is somewhat unclear.
Obviously, I need to email the professor. But what do I say? I know this was all on me, and even though I pulled it together at the end, I feel like he hates me. If I fail this class, I have to pay for another semester of rent and tuition, which I can't afford. Additionally, I'll disappoint everyone by having to admit that I never finished after all. Then to top it all off, I may not be able to find a job until next year. Please help!
tl;dr I was a dumbass senior and didnt attend or do work for a class up until the last month or so. Now I'm not sure if I'll pass it or not. This is the only class I'm at risk for failing, and I won't be able to get my degree for another semester if I fail it.

After almost a year of either nothing or interviews that went nowhere it seems like I have two potential opportunities. Both I’ve had 3 interviews so far. The first has been Recruiter, Hiring Manager, Panel all on Zoom over the span of a few weeks. I was emailed by the recruiter this week saying I’m a finalist. This was two days after the panel and after she told me she’d probably hear something next week. She said the hiring manager wanted to have another 15 minute zoom on Monday (my previous zoom with her was like an hour and the panel was 45 min). 12 years ago was the last time I was looking for a job and I had 1 interview then so these endless rounds are new to me. So, what could this 15 minutes be for? Does it seem likely I’ll be offered the job and these are formalities? Kind of surprised there hasn’t been any in person. The closest I feel like I’ve been in these year was in person.
I had another interview at another place around the same time (maybe a week later). This was one where’d I’d already spoken to the recruiter for another position but apparently someone internal got the job. Something that has never happened before, despite recruiters saying it, she actually called me about another opening. So I’ve two Zooms with the hiring manager (last week) and someone else (this week). The recruiter told me it would probably be a couple weeks as they interview others, but (and perhaps because I told the recruiter I was interviewing for another job) I was contacted to have an interview with the head of the department (which I was told was the final interview initially) also on Monday (though in person).
I’m trying not to get my hopes up too much, but I really need one of these to happen…