Birthday wish for deceased

My fiance is the best, she put decorations up and made me my favourite foods and we played games. But I admitted to her that I was kind of upset that no one had wished me happy birthday (besides my family and her parents) and the two friends I'd asked to come over for dinner or drinks or games said they were too tired because they had either been on holiday or were working in the morning. Once I said it out loud the emotions were real and I broke down.
I even pointed out it was my birthday in a non-direct way in a group chat and no one wished me happy birthday. Now I'm cleaning the house acting like it's a normal day. Maybe this could be an AITA post too, cuz I'm annoyed at the friends that blew me off as I would have at least made the effort for them.

My bf and I are financially comfortable. We have stable jobs, stays with our parents and no other commitments. I love to travel and when we go on vacation, I pay for my share for everything. We had plans for two vacations this year to neighboring countries, and I suggested going on another vacation for this year but he told me that it was "excessive". I tried to find out what were his concerns but he did not share anything except that he thinks two vacations a year is sufficient. I asked if he would then be alright with me going on solo trips or with my family, but he was not agreeable to that, and this essentially meant that it is his way or the highway but after months of convincing him he reluctantly agreed to consider going on a third vacation.
My birthday was this week and in the days leading up to it I told him that I'm eyeing some skincare which is more expensive than what I would usually spend on. We have the tendency to be open about the gifts we want from each other as we prefer giving practical gifts, and we tend to not mind the cost of it as long as our gifts are put to good use. He mentioned to keep to the budget of three hundred which was too much since what I wanted cost lesser than that, hence out of curiosity I asked what made him derive that amount and he said "because fifty bucks would not be enough for you".
I was previously already upset when he said that going on three vacations a year is excessive, and this comment made me more upset because it felt that he is insinuating that I am too expensive to be in a relationship with. I told him that what he said do not sit well with me. He proceeded to throw a huge tantrum and raised his voice at me in public midway through our meal, berating me for starting an argument and stirring shit which caused me to breakdown and cry.
I walked away and returned after I have calmed myself down and tried explaining to him why I am upset and he proceeded to throw another tantrum at me and continously defended himself and said that he feels that what he said was ok and there is nothing wrong at all. I finally snapped too and told him that while he is entitled to his feelings, my feelings are as valid as his, and I am telling him that I am hurt by his words. I asked if he is telling me that his feelings are more important than mine and so what I feel don't matter at all? We went home in silence and after we got home, he transferred me a thousand dollars which further angers me. That was never the point, I never wanted his money. The fact that he still did not understand the reason why I was hurt even though I tried to explain it to him and just tried to resolve it with more money felt offensive to me.
I cried for hours thereafter and told him that if this relationship is becoming too expensive for him to sustain then perhaps we should just call it quits. I do not wish to sacrifice my freedom of being able to travel for someone who feels that I am only worth fifty dollars despite our years of being together and after standing by him all these while through hardships. I then transferred him his money back, adding a fifty bucks to it and I told him if I am only worth fifty bucks to him, I will pay him fifty to buy myself out of this relationship.
He has been asking to talk since but I don't see any point to it since the past two times we tried to speak ended up with him throwing tantrums at me. He said that he has been trying to make amends but I am not giving him the chance to but I pointed out to him that making amends starts from apologizing which he had not done so. Since then, he has been telling me how sorry he is over text and that is about it. I feel so dead inside because this was no longer the man I saw in him when we first got together. AITAH for not giving him another chance? Am I being too sensitive?

My son is finally old enough to really be excited about his birthday, and boy is he! He wants a pirate party, he loves pirates! He has a hook and a hat that he wears everywhere, everyday, and they are just about beat up now . I have been laid off and injured for a couple months, we are extremely behind on rent, behind on all of our bills, our water is about to get shut off. I don't mean to tell a sob story, just kind of paint a picture. I've been looking into assistance with rent and utilities, I'm not making much headway, no one has any funds for rental assistance and I haven't found any utility assistance yet. But all of this is happening when my son is turning four, we would really really like to be able to get him some gifts and have a party for him, someone told me about this Reddit thread, and also about Amazon wish list. I made a wish list, maybe, just maybe, with the help of some wonderful strangers, my little guy can have a awesome birthday. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this I hope you all have a beautiful day. https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/R26TKNAG00AB?ref_=wl_share

My ex told me that our relationship was toxic.
She left me on "good terms" in December. We both said that we were special people at the end, and I was convinced that we could stay on good terms. She told me that she would start seeing a psychologist to solve her problems and that it wasn't anyone's fault.
She tried to keep in touch for about a month after the end of the relationship, telling me she felt lonely at university. I was still very hurt by the end of the relationship and tried to keep a distant tone.
In the end, we didn't write to each other for 4 months, from January until the day before yesterday. I wrote to her to see how she was doing and to apologize for not wishing her a happy birthday (I didn't want to reopen contacts to avoid suffering).
Initially, she sent me a long message explaining that I was an important person for her, her first boyfriend, etc. However, she specified that she had moved on and understood that we were not meant for each other.
At that point, I asked to call her, to hear her voice after a long time. It seemed like a humane thing to do. And she started being extremely cold and treating me like a stranger. I couldn't believe what I was reading, mostly because of the coldness and cynicism with which she said certain things. "Relationships change," "we're nothing anymore," "you can't accept that I've moved on," etc.
In the end, it came out that during these months, she realized that our relationship was toxic (she surely came to this conclusion with the psychologist). She said that some of my behaviors were unhealthy and that at the end of the relationship, she blamed herself for everything to avoid making me suffer. When I tried to ask her what she meant by toxic, she said that I was exhausting. I couldn't even ask for explanations. I want to emphasize that I insisted on calling her, but I didn't judge or insult her. In the end, I told her that out of respect for myself, there was no point in writing to her again because I found the utmost indifference in her attitude, and I was hurt by her behavior.
What do you think?
TL;DR: Ex broke up with me in December in good terms. After 4 months of no contact, she said she realised our relationship was toxic, but did not want to explain why. She treated me like a complete stranger.

I was seeing someone for past 5 months. She’s beautiful, funny, attentive and charming. She would go all out for me, tell me how much she appreciated me, but I felt an emotion disconnected from her. At first I blamed this on my attachment issues, but I still had a desire to get close to her. The first red flag, was that we didn’t really make conversation and I never felt she was interested in me as a person. She would call me handsome but I never felt like she wanted to know me as a person. Never engaged me about myself or my goals Yet she claimed she loved me.
The major issue arose when I noticed her short temper. Drama was always around her, history of family and relationship issues. I tried to get closer to her, but she claims that she doesn’t like taking about herself. Suddenly her anger started coming out on me. On my birthday, she planned a beautiful dinner, got a room. It was great up until she said her phone wasn’t having trouble receiving calls. I told her we should call the company, and try to get that resolved. Unfortunately her phone was not able to be fixed, she got into bed I layed next to her, she then blew up. She said that I should’ve just listened to her, instead of pressuring her to fix her phone, that I just made things worse. I apologized, and said that it seems to me that her phone was important since she needed it for work. That I didn’t enjoy my bday with her. Later that night, we were intimate and she told me that I didn’t not know how to please her and shouldn’t have wasted her time, and that we were sexually incompatible and I should find someone else to practice on. Once again I tried to fix things. I no longer felt confident being intimate with her after. I felt like In my own head when I’d try to please her.
She occasionally had outburst saying that I should be more obsessed with her, how she wished I wanted her as much as she wanted me, and how I couldn’t love her how she wanted to be loved. I apologized, for making her feel this way, and once again blamed it on my attachment issues.
I did start confront her about the mean things she would say and how it made me feel to which she replied, “ you must live a very privileged life if that’s offensive, I’ve been told way worse” and told her that still didn’t make things okay. She did apologize for saying hurtful things.
I started getting resentful, the thought of hanging out with her caused me dread, and our I was always careful of how I said things. She got into an argument with her dad recently and I tried to comfort her and I said “ it sucks your dad made you feel like that, I’m sorry and etc…” and she said “ everytime some says That sucks, it makes me feel like they don’t really care about what I have to say” and then I had to apologize for using the term “ that sucks “
Everytime we got into an argument, I felt stupid, I felt like I was a child getting yelled at. I felt like I was walking on eggshells, scared of saying something wrong.
I care for her deeply but my mental health started to get worse. I don’t like how this relationship made me feel. I wanted to be close to her like she wanted to be close to me. She said I made her so happy. She did a lot of sweet things and I attempted to match that, but I always felt scared, unsure and conflicted. I’m no saint and did my best. But I chose to end things, I felt I was unable to meet her needs and scared. And yet I find myself obsessing if I should have tried harder, if I was the issue. I miss her.

She left me on "good terms" in December. We both said that we were special people at the end, and I was convinced that we could stay on good terms. She told me that she would start seeing a psychologist to solve her problems and that it wasn't anyone's fault.
She tried to keep in touch for about a month after the end of the relationship, telling me she felt lonely at university. I was still very hurt by the end of the relationship and tried to keep a distant tone. To be honest I was devastated by the end of the relationship, and was trying to heal.
In the end, we didn't write to each other for 4 months, from January until the day before yesterday. I wrote to her to see how she was doing and to apologize for not wishing her a happy birthday (I didn't want to reopen contacts to avoid suffering).
Initially, she sent me a long message explaining that I was an important person for her, her first boyfriend, etc. However, she specified that she had moved on and understood that we were not meant for each other.
At that point, I asked to call her, to hear her voice after a long time. It seemed like a humane thing to do. And she started being extremely cold and treating me like a stranger. I couldn't believe what I was reading, mostly because of the coldness and cynicism with which she said certain things. "Relationships change," "we're nothing anymore," "you can't accept that I've moved on," etc.
In the end, it came out that during these months, she realized that our relationship was toxic (she surely came to this conclusion with the psychologist). She said that some of my behaviors were unhealthy and that at the end of the relationship, she blamed herself for everything to avoid making me suffer. When I tried to ask her what she meant by toxic, she said that I was exhausting for asking, and could not be bothered to explain. I couldn't even ask for explanations. I want to emphasize that I insisted on calling her, but I didn't judge or insult her. In the end, I told her that out of respect for myself, there was no point in writing to her again because I found the utmost indifference in her attitude, and I was hurt by her behavior.
What do you think?

(TW for SA/Rape(?) + brief sexual talk)
Hello, I’m posting this on a burner account, and this is kind of going to be a really long and depressing post I guess, I’m not going to disclose my name or age (Entire family uses Reddit just playing it safe) but this has been bothering me for a really long time and I just wanna get it off my chest, idk if I’m looking for comfort or advice, I just need to get this out somewhere. (Sorry for any grammatical mistakes or typos made, just ignore those, I don’t have the guts to proofread this.)
I’m FTM, I’ve been masculine ever since I was a kid, to the point where in my elementary classes I was friends with mostly boys and would have girls ask me out. My family basically just figured I was a lesbian or something. I wasn’t allowed to have closed doors with girls over or be alone with them unsupervised, but on my 10th birthday, I had one of my girl friends spending the night. At the time, me and my parents slept in the same room, so they figured it would be fine that she slept in the room with us (my parents were on different beds.) Before we went to sleep, my friend told me that she massages her siblings a lot so if I wake up and she is massaging me its just her like sleepmassaging me or something idk, I just said “Okay.” And went to sleep. I woke up early in the morning, she had one hand up my shirt and another in my pants. She did not know that I had woken up, but I began to slowly try and wriggle away from her hands, and eventually when I think she got nervous that I was waking up she pulled them out and away. I sent her home as soon as possible after acting normal with her all morning. I did not know what was happening, (I was too young at the time and did not realize until a few years later) but I was scared nonetheless. I still have not told my family about this.
On my 11th birthday, I had a different girl friend over. The same thing happened with her, except I was awake and it was about 1 or 2 PM, the door to my room was open, but nobody was inside the house at the time (except for my father but he was out back in the laundry room.) She touched me inappropriately, and then insisted that she strangle me because she had a ‘kink for that’ in her words, I refused, but she slammed me against the wall my bed is propped against and began to choke me, it hurt incredibly bad, and when she quit she tried to convince me to do it back to her, and I put my hand on her throat, but didn’t end up squeezing, I just told her I wouldn’t and put my hand back down. After that, I excused myself from the room to go cry in the bathroom for a few minutes, before composing myself and going outside to my mother who was on the porch. I remember all of this vividly. I stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, and then said “Mom, can we please send ___ home early? She’s touching me in places I dont like.” My mom said no, and then told me to “Get over it like you always do.” She sent me back to my room. I have not yet told my family what happened in the room.
Present day, I still present as male (My mother knows this now, but we haven’t had an in depth talk about it and my father does not know.) and I think I might be gay, but I want a girlfriend very badly. I feel no attraction to women, but I want to be able to hold hands in public. I want to go on cute dates and kiss in public. I want to feel like a man. At the same time, I only feel passionate about men, I want a boyfriend so badly it hurts, I want to be loved in that way, but I don’t want to live as a trans man. I just want to be a man. I know that is a terrible thing to think. Its not about me seeing trans men as less of a man, its about how other people would perceive me if they found out I was biologically female. They would treat me differently, I know because this has happened before multiple times. I feel so terrible. I know I cannot get into a serious relationship without disclosing this kind of stuff to my partner, I keep trying to justify it to myself, “I plan on getting all of the procedures done, it will be fine then, right?” And stuff along those lines. It isn’t below me to lie about being biologically male, all my friends think I am, and I wont lie about being a better or more moral person than I am, it is just the fear of getting caught that stops me. I’m young, but I frequently think about my sex life. I will never be able to have sex with someone else because I will never be able to tell someone I’m not actually biologically male, even if I get procedures done so that I have a penis (Which I fully intend to do before even dabbling in sex life,) that wont make me a biological male.
Some part of me deep down wants to be friends with those two girls again. They both knew I was a biological female, and they are both straight. I feel like a man. And the worst part is that I would let them do it again if it meant they would see me as a man. I just want to live as a man, I wish I were born a male and I wish I could have a boyfriend and I wish I could be affectionate with him in public. Everytime I think about this, I start sobbing. I have never confided or cried infront of anyone else about this, but it is eating at me. My pillow is stained from my tears and honestly it looks kind of like a shit stain. This is not fair. I feel like my life has been stolen from me. I will never be able to date or have sex. I dont know where to go or what to do.

My boyfriend is out of town celebrating his best friend’s 21st birthday. They are naturally going out for his first legal drink at a bar, (which I am not allowed in) so I stayed home.
I thought it would be nice to be at home alone because lately it’s all I’ve been craving after work. As an extreme introvert I need a lot of time to recharge and I haven’t been able to do so since my bf moved in. But a few hours in and I am BORED OUT OF MY MIND.
I moved here from my hometown in August and I haven’t gotten super close to anyone. I have never really had more than two friends at a time, and I’ve always had people come up to me, so it seemed for a while friends just came naturally, even if it was superficial and very few far in between.
I cut contact with everyone I knew besides my family for my own mental health. I just wanted to start fresh. I’ve noticed, though, that for MONTHS. I’ve been going to work then going back to my apartment. Alone (this was before my boyfriend was able to move in, since he’s moved in, I’ve only hung out with him his friends and his band mates girlfriends, never really making any real meaningful connections of my own).
So I sit here wondering if I should hit up a coworker to spend time with me but I’m so. Goddamn. Anxious.
I wish I just had a group of people that liked me, that I could laugh with and that I could make laugh. That I could call up and they’d actually be happy to spend time with me. I’m not charismatic or relatable or like-able really. I’m kind of boring and don’t have any real hobbies I’m dedicated to and while I have many interests they aren’t prominent enough that I could have a full length conversation with someone who is also interested in those things. I feel like I just don’t have enough time to explore things as deeply as I would like to. I’ve accepted I am an acquired taste, maybe only built for desperate people that latch on and suck out all the life out of me 💀
Or even worse maybe I just suck the life out of everyone else.
I would like to be different person completely, someone people automatically took a liking to. I don’t have the slightest clue of who I am to begin with, and idk what I’m doing wrong.
I have a coworker that really wants me to join roller derby (she wants everyone to join roller derby really) but she says it would be really good for me. My bf thinks it might be a good opportunity for me to meet people but I’m nervous for two reasons.
1) I’m not a super aggressive (or athletic) person. I really don’t believe roller derby is the route for me but everyone else insists that’s it’s basically my destiny (which is extremely annoying to me, personally, like I THINK, even though I have constant identity crises, I would know myself better than they do, but they don’t listen to me).
2) Every single group of people I’ve ever met have always met me with rejection. It’s like they can sense something about me that isn’t normal.
Me: 👽 “hello”
Them: 😀…🤔🤨 proceed to never speak to me, ever
I’m an adult now in the real world but it still feels like high school. I’m still a weirdo and I’m still a loser. The theater kids didn’t even fw me.
TLDR; idk how to make friends I feel like no one likes me and I only like to hang out with my bf but I know I need to make friends. What should I do?

Me and my best friend are both 19 and 4 years ago, I ended up liking one of his ex right after they broke up. She was always very friendly with me and tried to be very close to me. I always hung up fast and pushed her away but when they broke up I ended up making moves on her without thinking, I was 15 and had no relationship experience, I realized my mistake and my friend forgave me. Told some time to build back trust and be good friend again.
Now where much closer and another situation happened. We both liked the same girl in a freshmen summer college program and i ended up pursuing her and continuing to like her while he didn’t. We were very friendly with one another and i ended off the program giving her a hug and she said she’ll miss me. I felt like there could have been more with us if i just told my shot. I ended up texting her over the rest of the summer left and I enjoyed texting her. I wanted to get on call with her but she shut that down instantly and soon after ended up ghosting me for days on her roblox and nap grind. I lost interest after that. Then when the fall semester started I went to the other campus while her and my bestfriend went to the main campus. My friend knew about everything with me and her. I told him I didn’t like her anymore and it ended up nowhere obviously. They started to get closer and hanged out a lot on campus, mainly alone. Over time they started going out and end up liking eachother. My bestfriend is very friendly and physical with girls. Always ended up a lady’s man.
I wasn’t very comfortable about it especially when being around them if I did go to the main campus but i didn’t have anything with her and things were going somewhere with them so way have a problem. I just let them be, he knew she was weird but was down to just mess around. Doing cute relationship things never hurt no one and they ended up stop talking to eachother. She later on ended off unfollowed him and blocked him.
Later on a few months she wished me a happy birthday and starts to chat with me (I told my bestfriend this). I was down to be cool and since my bestfriend is transferring next semester. Having someone to be cool with her and there would have hurt. After a week and a half of texting she invited me to go out to eat with a group. Her friend and her boyfriend and maybe another girl. I was down to go the next day and when I was on the train, my friend called to hang out and I said I was going out with her and a group. He hung up and now he’s saying it part 2 of my first mistake.
I understand i never got far with her and he did, especially with her guaranteed liking him but I wasn’t trying to make a move. Did i mess up again or are we both maybe in the wrong.
TL;DR! I was trying to be cool with my friends last talking stage who I also liked before. She invited me to eat out in a group and now I might lose my best friend.

I’m posting this in hopes it helps me some… My Mom passed away July 16, 2020. She passed away from complications due to Covid/Diabetes. She had just turned 48. I was 24 and my younger sister 17. None of us could be with her in the hospital due to the Covid restrictions. Just an occasional FaceTime call when she was feeling okay, or some texts. Towards the end she needed extra help breathing and ended up being put into this coma like state to try to help her body heal. She fought hard for 2 weeks, but ultimately she never came back home.
I miss her so much. My dad and I never had the best relationship growing up, and it hurts to say it hasn’t really changed since she passed, either. I think of her still every single day. If she would be proud of me, the life me and my fiancé have, or my little sister who is engaged and has a 5 month old now. She won’t be there for when we get married, have kids (her dream was to be a Grandma), just so many life events without her. I miss the simple things the most- just calling her on a hard day. I still have her number saved in my phone because I just can’t bring myself to delete it.
Sorry for the long rant, I’ve just been struggling since her birthday back in April, and now the closer it gets to her death date. Thank you for the vent session, and I wish I could give a hug to everyone struggling.🤍

I've seen numerous commentators pointing out various parallels between the story of Judah and Tamar in Genesis, and the story of Ruth. The obvious parallels are obvious: both involve young widows who seem to have limited prospects, who, through careful planning, end up in clan-connected unions, a child of which is a forebears of the Davidic dynasty.
But on a closer reading, it seems pretty clear to me that it goes further than that: the book of Ruth is a deliberate re-imagining of the story of Judah and Tamar, similar to the way modern authors might take key elements from a Greek myth and re-set it in a modern city. I'm out of my depth here on the literary side, but I'm thinking of like, Pygmalion (ancient version) becoming My Fair Lady, or Perseus becoming Percy Jackson. And like other reimaginings, a lot of the substance of book lies in the aspects of the source material that the later author chooses to subvert.
One example I can give to illustrate the point, despite typing this out on my phone... In chapter 1, Naomi tells Ruth and Orpah to go back to their mothers' homes. Initially, they intend to disregard her and accompany her back to Bethlehem. Then Naomi says, (paraphrase), do I have sons in my belly that will marry you someday? If I met a man now, and got pregnant tonight and bore sons, would you wait around until they're grown so they can marry you?
Now, on its face, Naomi's comment makes no sense. Why would Ruth and Orpah have to wait until she had children in order to remarry? Naomi does not contemplate that they'd have difficulty marrying if they were to stay in Moab - in fact, she wishes them peace with their future husbands. And, as the story indicates later on, Ruth at least seems to have been a desirable match. Boaz notices her immediately upon his arrival at the harvest, and then warns his workers not to harass her. Later, he praises Ruth for ignoring the Bethlehemite "youths, whether rich or poor." (Ch. 3).
In part, Naomi's reference to this hypothetical marriage to her nonexistent children seems to foreshadow the quasi-levirate marriage at the end of the story, when Boaz marries Ruth to "establish the name of the deceased on his estate." But in itself, even that makes no sense - if Naomi were to remarry and have children, the children from another man would not be part of Elimelekh's clan, and there would be no connection to Elimelekh's or Mahlon's estates.
Rather, Naomi's speech is a clear reference to and subversion of the story of Judah and Tamar. She tells Ruth to return to her parents' home because there is nobody to carry out the levirate marriage, just the way Judah told Tamar to return to her parents' home because there was nobody to carry out the levirate marriage, since Shelah was too young. That's why Naomi specifically emphasizes that it would be ridiculous to wait around until the nonexistent children get older. Because it recalls Judah, who had no intention of allowing Tamar to marry Shelah, but dismissed Tamar on the claim that Shelah was too young, leaving Tamar in widow's clothing at her parents' home indefinitely. Precisely unlike Judah, who lied to Tamar and sent her off to indefinite widowhood at her parents' house, Naomi tries to send Ruth back to her parents' house out of concern for Ruth's wellbeing, but fails to convince Ruth, who stays to care for her mother in law.
If this theory is correct, it could also shed some light on another open question. Interpreters debate the threshing floor scene where Ruth approaches a sleeping Boaz and uncovers his feet. Is this a euphemism for sex? Did Ruth intend to seduce Boaz? Did Naomi instruct Ruth to seduce Boaz, also euphemistically, when she said, "do what he tells you to do?"
To interpret this scene, we need to look at the parallel scene in the story of Judah and Tamar. In that story, Tamar, still a young widow in her father's house, knows that Shelah has come of age, and she has not been summoned to marry him. She hears that Judah is heading out to shear the sheep (where, presumably, he will be outside of his normal routine, and more easily accessible to an outsider, like Boaz on the threshing floor). So she doffs her widow's garb, and puts on a veil, and waits by the crossroads near the town where Judah is headed.
Now, I always thought that in the story, Tamar posed as a prostitute. But that's not actually what the Bible says. In fact, if the story ended after Tamar stationed herself at the crossroads in a veil, you would say, well, I guess she was waiting there to confront Judah, who wouldn't let her marry Shelah and wouldn't free her from her widowhood. It was not that Tamar posed as a prostitute. Judah assumed she was a prostitute because she was a woman out in public and he didn't know who she was. Coming back to Boaz's threshing floor, where the men sleep at the end of the harvest, away from their families and routines: Boaz is satiated and drunk and there's a woman all done up in nice clothing and fragrant oil edging up to him. He doesn't know who she is, and, given the circumstances, could certainly be excused for thinking she was a prostitute. But he doesn't make that mistake. Why not? Because he does something that apparently did not occur to Judah: he asks Ruth, who are you? I don't want to be anachronistic but this genuinely seems to be the authorial intent: Boaz sees Ruth, and treats her, as a human. He allows her to spend the night rather than walking alone at night, then times her departure so that she is not humiliated coming back into town. Knowing she is poor, he sends her off with abundant grain. This scene too subverts the parallel in Genesis, where Judah misperceived Tamar as a prostitute and slept with her despite not having money on him to pay. Boaz did not misperceive Ruth, and although Naomi left open the possibility, the omission of any mention of sex is intentional - there wasn't any sex because Boaz acted appropriate and there was a closer relative who had priority.
In closing, I have two questions: First, is anyone aware of modern academic analysis along these lines? Second, what are people's thoughts on this reading of Ruth in light of Genesis? I could give ten more examples of parallels, but this is a limited medium... I do think the ones I chose to highlight are among the most compelling.

So basically, start of freshman year there was a girl who I rly didn’t know and don’t even think I saw in person except for maybe once or twice. Anyways, I was really socialable and I made a private Snapchat story based on my experiences, and asked anyone on my public story if they want to join they can. She joined without actually knowing me, and my first post was a picture of me in a tutu (football game attire)
Anyways, one of the reasons of this story was so I could make new friends and share my experiences. First, I asked if ppl had a BeReal because I was peer pressured into getting one. She gave me hers and I thanked her for it, added her. I don’t remember the full details. However, this garuntee she at least knows what I look like
The 2nd time, on the same story, I asked if anyone was going to an event on campus, and she said she was and that I should join her.
My dum-dum responded with “thanks for the offer, but I don’t really know you and figured I will probably stay in”. She responded with “oh I’m sorry I thought you were someone else”
(This could be true, but this is Snapchat. My name is right there and at the time you could still delete or unsend messages. I also looked at her IG following list a few days ago to see people with similar names as mine. There were none)
The last time was her wishing me happy birthday a few days later. I said thank you and went on my merry way
I made a (new) ig a few months ago, and dropped a follow. She followed back and I looked at her account and thought “damn she’s cute” and really didn’t think much more about it
A few days ago, my friends were talking about situations where they fumbled the bag, and this whole situation came back up in my mind. According to them, girls rarely if ever make the first move and that likely was her attempt to making a first move. Especially since she invited me over to an event with her, despite not knowing me. I also know that for most people in general, they won’t be straightforward. As a straightforward thinker, it’s annoying, so of course it took my well over a year to figure out maybe she wasn’t being straightforward
Of course, she could definitely have been honest about the entire situation, I rly don’t know
I think we met irl once before this but my memory is foggy ngl
Anyways, since this “realization” hit (and again, I could be very very wrong) I began wondering if I should reach out, and if so how. I could just snap her, but her snap score hasn’t increased at all and I don’t wanna be weird. Plus, a random snap probably doesn’t do anything to build anything
She’s a chair at one of the charity clubs in my school though (this I found out by accident), which is actually personal to me. A few weeks ago, my parents decided to sponsor an orphan girl in India and give her financial support. This club basically sponsors similar things for similar people and I was planning to learn about it next semester if I had the time, especially since it was something that became personal due to my situation. Plus, I plan on joining a frat next year and there are community service hours I will need to log in order to stay part of said frat. The opportunity presented itself imo. I originally wanted to use a different club for the hours, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with doing both as long as I get the hours. I don’t plan on getting a position of command per-say
My biggest thing with this is simply that I truly don’t have a clue if me reaching out to her about that would be weird. It does feel like I do have some ulterior motives if I do that, and that makes people uncomfortable (with full respect that if I reach out to her about the club I do genuinely want to learn about the club and the opportunities and benefits it could provide). But, again, there is a subconscious worry that it may just be me trying to get something and that will push her away
There is also the case of me knowing some people in the club. We used to be friends but neither of us decided to keep in contact at all not rly cared for each other and I feel rly awkward reaching out to them about it
Any advice would be appreciated. I also don’t know if the dating advice subreddit is the best option for this but it may work?
For the older people out there who don’t understand the story, it’s a situation where you posted something on Facebook and a girl you don’t rly know reached out to you about it, and invited you out to do something, but you didn’t know. Idk, I’m not old
Thank you!
TLDR: I may or may not have fumbled the bag with a girl. I realized it about a week ago but this was a pretty long time ago. I want to contact her without being weird. There’s a club she is a chair of and newly became personal to me due to a family situation. I was thinking about reaching out to her, but I feel weird about it since I don’t rly know her. I think she’s cute and don’t know how to contact her without being weird about it

suddenly i had a thought 3P (who i know is a conscious manifestor themself) was trying to manifest me out of my SP’s life recently and then dwelling on it made me think of waaay too many incidents that could suggest that and objectively i know circumstances don’t matter but i’m now stuck in this vicious emotional cycle, i’m struggling to detach and not obsess over getting rid of them, and i’m mad at myself for giving them power over my reality.
and now i’m spending my birthday even more upset because SP hasn’t wished me a happy birthday yet but he had wished 3P a happy birthday exactly at 12AM because he wanted to be first. the last thing he told me which was around 11:50PM was that the concert he went to on wednesday night was the ‘best night of his life’ and it was a concert 3P bought him tickets for and i’m not sure if they went with him too, so i’ve been telling myself they didn’t. he also didn’t bother making my birthday week as special as he was trying to for 3P (that concert was during my birthday week too to top it all off). and he might not be able to spend my birthday later today with me when he did with 3P.
i want to revise but more importantly i want out of this rut because i feel trapped when i shouldn’t be. despite the emotions i’ve been experiencing that have frequently been resurfacing, i tell myself 3P isn’t a part of our lives, that SP always will and is choosing me, i’m the only creator of my reality, etc etc. to try and combat the thoughts that come with them but i keep finding reasons to support this narrative that somehow got into my head.
i haven’t completely lost all faith in manifesting what i want but the 3D has been so discouraging. i feel like i’m becoming desperate enough to invest in a coach, but i don’t know… the depressive episode i’m having is also not helping and i’m just so tired.

I’m 23. In my culture, at this age, elders arrange blind dates for us. I didn’t really want to participate, but my parents insisted that I do. So, I went along and met her. Over the next few months, we chatted online almost every day, and I realized we had a lot in common. I fell in love with her. However, recently she told me she doesn’t really like me. I already knew it; the whole thing was just my wishful thinking. I’ve prepared her birthday presents, but I don’t want to continue. I think I should tell her that I’m over it. I mean, now that she said she doesn’t love me, why should I persevere? I’ve been through a lot, and my heart is already broken. I’m more afraid of getting hurt than falling in love. Before she broke my heart, I thought I should run away from this situation. So, I’ve decided to give her the birthday present and tell her we’re done. For the past few months, I’ve tried my best to make her happy, care about her emotions, and talk to her when she’s sick. I’ve told her that everything will be okay. But she’s never done the same for me. Throughout my life, I’ve longed for someone who could say, ‘Don’t worry, everything will be okay.’ Even my parents never said this to me. I realize that no one can truly take care of my feelings, so I’ve become an introverted person. Maybe someday, when I look back on this, I hope I can say, ‘Yeah, I tried my best, and I don’t regret it.’ And when she recalls this, she’ll say, ‘He’s a good person, but we just don’t fit.‘. Maybe after this I’ll never love anyone again, I’m afraid that someday I won’t love her anymore and also afraid someday she won’t love me anymore. Not matter what, I think it’s all my fault, can’t to trust, can’t to love, can’t to persevere, that’s me.

AITAH for not signing my managers birthday card?
For context I have been at my current job for awhile and in the beginning I really enjoyed it. About a few months in my manager accused me of something I didn’t do in a highly unprofessional manner and it has been pretty hostile ever since.
Luckily I don’t work closely with my manager and have supervisors that I can speak directly to. Overall the job is still good but when my manager does reach out I can sense hostility so I try to limit contact at all cost.
My manager’s birthday is coming up and there has been a card passed around to all the employees to sign. My coworker found it strange I declined to sign it, although I don’t feel like it’s their business to know why.
I know for a fact my manager don’t care for me so slapping a fake birthday wish and a signature is not going to change their life in anyway.
AITAH for not signing it? I don’t think it will be missed

this is my first time posting but i’m trying to give as much detail w/o people being able to figure out who i am (throwaway account just in case) so if you have any questions or suggestions please feel free to ask or lmk in the comments.
i (19f) had a birthday this week and decided it would be fun to go out with my friends on the weekend since we are all so busy with work and moving back home from college. most of us were available for the time and day i set so we were good to go. all week i’ve been so excited to see everyone since it’s been about 6 months since we’ve all been together since our lives have been changing a lot in this year that most of us have graduated from high school.
well come today i was getting ready and found a really cute dress that i just love since it just looks great on me and i pair it with a crop top that’s too small but works with the dress but it doesn’t fully cover my chest (big problem since i hate bras) so the dress has to fully cover it (if that makes sense). i shower, do my makeup, get dressed, and meet everyone giving out hugs and catching up at our first destination, an arcade. we have a great time playing games and hanging out beating each other in games we haven’t played in years it’s great. i decided to join a waitlist for a restaurant close so we could have better food and we have a kinda big party so i didn’t want to chance having to wait too long once we got there (important for later).
we start to cash out our tickets for candy and knickknacks and head over to the restaurant to meet up with more friends. when we get out our cars i text to check us in. we stand and wait outside for the second text message saying we can head inside. while talking we see our friends pull in then my best friend texts me to fix my dress. me being the idiot that i am stands up and asks what’s wrong not feeling the breeze on my breasts that have fallen through my two layers of clothes. i’m still so embarrassed and have no clue what to do i’m just still in shock 5 hours later. idk who all saw but i’m so scared that the guy i like saw me like that or even worse if the people around us saw it’s just so embarrassing idk what or how to feel about it i understand it’s an accident but i wish i could’ve avoided it and i feel like i could’ve. really just looking for advice or anything that could take my mind off of it, thank you!
TL;DR- i accidentally flashed my friends and maybe some people in front of a restaurant because i go braless.

. My bf and I are 2 years in. He and his ex broke up 3 years ago. I broke up with my ex 5 years ago. My ex and I stayed friends after breaking up. My bf had a problem with it. So much so that he forced me to delete his number, all his pictures and block him in order to date him. I did it. It was a hard choice to make because my ex and I were childhood friends. But I decided I rather have my bf than a friendship. Mind you my ex and I dated for a few months after being friends forever. I call him my ex because that’s what he was but for 17 years before that , he was my best friend
Last month he told me that he was thinking about the past and felt like he needed to apologize to his ex because he found out that she had cancer. A mutual friend mentioned it . Somehow he felt responsible. Idk why he felt responsible but whatever. Despite the fact that he was uncomfortable with me talking to my ex I allowed him to get his closure. He did it.
He said he felt a lot better. And he was done. Then yesterday it was her birthday. I knew it was her birthday because she has the same birthday as his mom he mentioned that before. And for some reason I asked him if he wished her a happy birthday. He asked why I knew it was her birthday. Told him my memory was long. He said yes. I then asked why he didn’t tell me. He said it didn’t mean anything. And he has no plans of talking to her . He only said it because she said she didn’t want to make it to 26. He said he was happy she made it.
I’m not unreasonable like there was nothing wrong with the message. But, he didn’t want me talking to my ex at all about anything. He even got upset when my ex called me to tell me his mom who was like a mom to me died. So now I’m very upset about him talking to her in any capacity. Honestly idc what she’s going through. That’s not his concern. And he said exes belong in the past no matter what. So I’d like him to keep his own rules . Personally if he didn’t essentially force my ex out my life because of his own jealousy I wouldn’t have cared but he did. So I’m not having it. Am I wrong for that?

The other day my partner and I were hanging out, as they are wont to do, and later in the evening I had to be at an art opening of a good friend of mine. We were both tired after a long day but I felt it my duty as a friend to go (I didn't not want to go, but it would have been a 3 hour drive to and from) and I wanted to support them. I am an artist as well, and openings are often overwhelming and kind of a drag, a sentiment my partner and I are both share, but this was one I felt I needed to go to, and I made mention of that a multiple days prior to my partner. I knew her agreement to go was reluctant, given her tepid response, so I told her "you're not obligated to go so don't feel like you should". She remained steadfast in her decision. Come the day, and I told her again, you really don't have to come but she got ready and was willing to tag along, basically to commiserate, but then she got a text from another friend of hers, a guy whom I've only met once, and I like well enough from what little I know, and hes her only friend out where she lives, Inviting her to a child's birthday party, and while I'm getting to my car I hear her audibly moan, and I ask her whats up, to which she tells me that this friend asked if she wanted to come to this party. For context, this party was like one of those cool adults with kids party, they had a DJ and all in an odd setting, in reality the makings of a could be fun, could be annoying situation. She had mentioned he texted her about this party earlier in the day and thought it would've been cool to go. Seeing how obviously she wanted to go to that party, I told her again, "You really don't have to go to this opening, if you want to go to this party you can.". She told me she wanted to come for support, considering how annoying openings can be, but really wanted to go to this party, and said she would rather go with me, but with an obvious tone of ambivalence. It was glaringly clear she wanted to go to that party, and while I would've enjoyed her company, I felt I'd rather her have fun that subject her to a potentially draining social affair, so I told her I wouldn't be mad if she went to the party. The sort of classic partner conundrum it felt like. I was convicted in my feeling of her doing her thing and I would just go and come back without her, and so that decision was made. She was to go to the party, and I would go to the opening. She asked me if I was fine with that decision and I told her yes, but I felt a little dismayed, and I knew my voice and face betrayed me from presenting otherwise. We parted ways and on the drive I gradually felt more and more bothered by her choosing to go to the children's party. I started over thinking a bunch of things, which felt more like anxious conclusions than logical reasoning, but I continued to get more and more upset that she chose that odd event than going to this opening with me. we haven't seen each other much lately due to the nature of her job, so I figured if I were in her position I would've gone to the opening regardless, but that's just me. either way, as I kept driving, I decided I would curb my social anxiety and just make it a good time no matter what, and yet I continued to get more and more upset by her decision. I think it stems from some deeper feeling about her relationship with this friend and choosing that over an event we both tend to loathe, and I did implore her to stay and have a better chance at a more entertaining evening. But I know in my heart of hearts I wished she would've come along with me, but I'm upset for not being more honest about it. Ultimately I ended up having a really lovely time with friends at the opening and at the after party but I wished my partner had come, and now I feel like a dick head being upset at her decision. I guess I just would like to get the temperature of how irrational I am probably being.

i F16 am the youngest of my family and currently the last one in high school. i feel that my parents favor my older sibling over me and i have many reasons to believe so. my older sister and brother both were given brand new at the time 2020 flat-screen tvs while i was a tv that was made in the early 2000s. they bought my sibling gifts and expensive shoes while I've had to buy my clothes and shoes with my birthday and Christmas money and that is the only time i get money and it my relatives that send me money my parents have never given me a single dime unless they had too. everything in my room are hand-me-downs from my siblings nothing new and nothing lasts. my parents don't remember my age, birthday, or month i was born in, nor how to spell the name they chose for me. im also currently typing this on a used pc that I've had for 7 years and is the only access i have to my friends and the internet they wont buy me a phone not even one for emergencies and i bought this pc with my own money i saved. my father used to be sexually abusive to me when i started growing into my body and he acts as if it never happened and leaving me with horrible trauma and the fear of men. my mother is neglective i only remember her showing up two times for any school related thing and she only stayed long enough to watch me for only one of the two. i dont remember having a childhood not even a happy one yes i do love my sibling dearly and they have done no wrong to me nor even tried to but my parents whenever i try to talk to them about something important for me argue and say that im too young for it and the real world will eat me alive. i don't feel love for my parents mostly my father i don't love him at all but im not sure about my mom im not sure about her. my life before i turned 16 was horrible i was even planning to run away to a different state after my 16th birthday it was that bad it was also to the point where i was thinking about ending my life even though i had never come to that conclusion before. i feel like im a failure, not even worth anything i feel empty and all ive been able to do these past days was cry. im getting back to the point of rethinking about ending it all again its hard and i hate just having to bear everything alone the only people i can tell are strangers who ill never know. im scared and all i can do is cry and cry and cry. i feel all alone in this world like everything i do is worthless. i hate myself i wish i could tell my friends and have everything be ok for once. i want to be free with no one making the decisions for me i just want to breathe air that isn't filled with contempt for myself i just want to breathe and feel human as if im finally living for once in my life just being alive and nothing else. i hate being where i am i hate the noises of the fans in the ceilings i hate the birds chirping in the morning i hate waking up to find no food left for me i hate waking up and finding myself alone. nothing to call people to one to reach nothing to do but wait and cry. i hate being alone but its all i wish for in this house its the only time i can breathe just breathe. i know i wont do harm to myself as i hate even the smallest amounts of pain or even the thought of doing anything to myself so dont worry about that im trying to better myself even though its barely helping. i just need a way out of this family somewhere that's not here anywhere but "home".

AITA for being upset that my friend didn’t get me a bday present
We got in a fight for a year , I didn’t wish her happy birthday during that year . It started with her not putting any effort into talking to me and I was always texting her first and once i stopped putting in effort to see if she would initiate conversations it took her a month to even realize that we stopped talking . Normally , I would always stay up late to wish her happy birthday and I would get her something.
We recently became friends again and I forgave her for the past . Later I found out that she kind of switched up the story of why we’re not friends anymore and shit talked me to all her friends and to this day her friends still shit talk me and she’ll watch them do it but she won’t defend me. I still got her something for her birthday and stayed up until 12 am to wish her .
Today was my bday and she sent me this message about how she’s happy that we’re friends again but she didn’t offer to get me anything back or even ask me what I wanted. She didn’t even have to get me anything just something small or even just a card would’ve been nice . But no nothing . I don’t want to have to feel like I’m watering a dead plant all over again .

Context: We were friends for 4 years. He ghosted me a month ago. It happened all of a sudden. I told him I was at the hospital. He gave me no explanation. I begged for us to leave on better terms. He blocked me.
A month later, he sends me a mail for my birthday and tries to add me on Discord. I knew he would because, for 4 years, all he did was alternate between silent treatment , anger bursts and apologies whenever I tried to move on. He complained many times I was the abuser bc of all the times he had to apologize to me. That is the only reason I even gave him another chance bc he has a way to convince me I am the one who pushed him away or overwhelmed his or something. And yet, no matter what, it ends with an anger burst, with snarky comments and being ghosted. He is avoidant and always comes back. I just need new perspectives on this.
Mail he sent:
Dear X,
I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. I'm sorry for how things have turned so sour between us. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to give you what you asked. I hope you're doing okay, I worry often. I've tried to add you on discord a few times but I guess you're not around or don't want to anymore. No matter what happens you'll always have a place in my heart. I know that isn't believed by you, nor do I expect it to be. I just want you to know that I have a sincere gratitude for having gotten to know you and grow with you through our interactions. Have a wonderful day; may it treat you with kindness.
Y.

When do you give up?
I'm not necessarily talking like self-deletion. I just mean giving up. All the other kids I grew up with gave up on life a long time ago. They spend their days playing video games and working a shit job just enough to pay for a one bedroom apartment.
I don't blame them. Some have brain damage from what was done to them as children. They certainly have psychological damage. Hell, I think I am the first person who told them that what happened to them as children wasn't their fault. Their whole lives have been where nobody wanted them. Everyone around them secretly wished they would just disappear. I don't think anybody would cry if they did self-delete. They were abused. They were blamed for "needing" the drugs and abuse. They were blamed when the drugs and abuse didn't work. They were blamed for having brain damage. They are blamed for not being able to properly hold a job with said brain damage and anger for what was "their fault".
I was thinking about this, both the people who went through all this as well as myself. I eventually came to the conclusion that, at the end of the day, none of this really matters if it was caused externally or by some made up disorder. The consequences of these things is the reality that we live.
I wonder about my own life. I am one of like two who managed to live a somewhat normal life. I managed to get a decent enough career that pays ok. I have a few cars and a nice apartment. But every single day the past haunts me. Just yesterday I went to a small birthday gathering at a restaurant. I had trouble because of the adrenaline I was feeling while being in a noisy environment. It took me years to figure out that what happened wasn't my fault. It took me years for anybody to even acknowledge any kind of truth. It took me years for know that there was truth. Hell, it took me over a decade for anybody to even hug me.
My question is when should someone give up? I come home to an empty apartment. I wish I had a wife, but I don't think that's going to happen. I missed out on learning basic things like how to date. If I ask for help, it's like pulling teeth to get people to even understand the statement. I wish my life had value. It has value in the sense that I can donate money to something, but not in the sense that I myself am needed.
When should someone give up?