This is a real story from my friend .. it happened to his ex gfs family
My friend “A” was dating a girl a few years back, his gf’s mom lived in Yakima, Wa and they went to live w her for about a year. One day they tell my friend that his gf’s uncle (gf’s mom’s brother) who lived in Mexico was sitting in the kitchen one night when he seen a evil witch outside through the window and was so scared he didnt talk for few days. Fast forward a few years, A’s gf was walking through Tijuana one day when a palm readebruja type of lady walks up to her asking if she could read her palm, A’s gf declined her offer thinking the lady just wanted her money but the lady then tells A’s gf that she was not interested in the “powerful bill” she had on her. A’s gf had a 100$ bill in her pocket, but the lady offered to read her palm for free, so A’s gf agreed and the lady proceeds to read her palm and then tell her their was a powerful curse on her and her family. Fast forward another year or so. The gf’s mom who lived in Yakima,Wa got into a relationship with a man from Tijuana who was in jail but getting out soon, she was so in love w this guy she left everything in Washington and moved to Tijuana to be w him. Not long after the mom moved to Tj to be with her new boyfriend she gets in a nasty car accident leaving her almost totally paralyzed, from what my friend said she could only move her eyes, almost in a vegetative state. Young mom who left her good job in a hospital in WA to be w this new bf now basically totally paralyzed. As family members now take care of her (her brother, the uncle who seen the witch in mex) go to her house to collect all her things as she was now paralyzed living w them, when they go to her place to collect her things the brotheuncle looking through her things finds a piece of “dried skin/leather” thing with the a evil old witch face carved into it, the same evil witch he seen outside his window a few years back . The mom of friends gf now ex is still paralyzed to this day .. this story always gives me the chills.

Cringing yet AGAIN!!! Who sets up a tri-pod at at a gas station to film herself pumping gas…?????????? Embarrassed that’s her content…. Then has her 6 yr old repeating what she always says… “this isn’t a want…it’s a need” what kind of crap parenting is this wacko teaching her kids???
This girl won’t buy herself glasses because she’s soooo cheap when it comes to buying necessity items that she actually needs to pay for… like glasses to see with, or paying her actual bills, insurance, gas etc…. She thinks paying “bills” with “HER” money isn’t fair… she wants spending money and all her bills paid for by Caleb… this isn’t a paycheck honey….
that’s suppose to be child support that you are to be using ONLY ON THE KIDS… not yourself!!! And to put a roof over your kids heads… not spending it on your cheap clothes addiction on yourself!!!… completely freeloading off her parents too…. Laughed so hard at the excuse that she said her bonus room she lives in and the girls bedroom is larger than her rental home bedrooms they were living at… as if it justified her living in her parents house… lmao…. Who cares if it’s a few feet larger…. It’s NOT YOUR OWN HOME!!! You live in 2 rooms at your parents house while trying to portray you have money 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Kaylin has ZERO problem spending child support money on complete garbage from Target every single day… literally goes to TJ MAX, Target etc… and repeats buying the same crap she already owns!!! Like why?????? She’s always saying “I have this already at home, but it’s on sale so buying another one” did she need another? No she needs a home for her kids though!!!
This bitch loves to repeat her bad habits!!!! Cries she’s broke but keeps buying complete crap She doesn’t need… and don’t get me started on the returns… she buys things everyday to “treat” herself and make her mental self feel like she’s able to afford it,… only to then go back to her parents house and have buyers remorse when she realizes her bank account is low again and she can’t actually afford to stupidly buy those things… so she runs back to the store to return it alll… that’s her content in a nutshell… so predictable! 🤣🤣🤣
ever notice how her kids don’t ever go anywhere except where SHE wants to go??? She’s got them programmed to do what she wants to be doing and never what a kid would actually want to do.. Target, Starbucks, Jonas, toy store, park and Thomasville… how about play dates with kids??? ever see her with any moms from school??? Nope… she doesn’t make friends…. Only uses her “single” bff Alexis to go out with her on Fridays or weekends she doesn’t have the girls… USER…how about the girls do activities with friends??? or playing at home with toys etc….nope it’s only a repeat of the places that make KAYLYN happy… not what her kids would want to do.. shopping at Target 3 times a day doesn’t make you a great mom…just an addicted mom who is blowing child support on crap instead of getting them a HOME!!! Goes to the exact same places each day… literally repeats her same routine over and over yet expects different results in her life….
Desperately Looks for boyfriends to date who look like her ex husband too…in hopes that will fall in love instantly with her and start paying all her bills and want to become a step daddy to 3 kids from another man…so she can keep her child support to use on herself instead of paying her bills or a mortgage! 🤣🤣🤣 I can’t with this train wreck… repeat offender but expects diff results to make herself happy… girl needs to up her antidepressants and find a new therapist!!!

Book report guy back, with the Bryan Danielson book from 2014 and it has some fun backstage stories from his time in WWE!
Solid wrestling book, though not super memorable in my opinion. Some solid detail and dirt like you expect, but honestly it felt like he was holding back.
As always, it's in chronological order as best as I could do that. Hope y'all enjoy!
Bryan is a weird dude, while describing his adolescence, he casually says that he has a lot of weird hypothesis on various subjects, and we should ask Nigel McGuinness about Bryan's theory on how a penis grows. He doesn't expand on this more. He just says that and moves back to talking about his childhood.
Bryan rants a bit about how modern medicine has stunted human evolution because kids who would have died off got to live and reproduce and pass their "defects" onto the next generation. He says that he is one of those defects, sick all his childhood and sick a lot as an adult. He says that his wife Brie is also a "defect" but says she can share the details in her own book if she ever writes one.
When Bryan was 16 years old, he contacted Dean Melanko's wrestling school and was told it would cost him $2,500, but he needed a $500 deposit to secure his spot. Bryan was scared that there were hundreds of people on the waiting list and worked extra shifts at McDonald's in order to get the cash together asap. He put $500 deposit down for a wrestling school he couldn't go to for 2 more years.
Three months before Bryan graduated high school, the Melanko Wrestling School contacted to inform Bryan that the school was shutting down permanently. When Bryan asked for his $500 back, he was told that they no longer had it and that he was SOL.
While watching Monday Night RAW, an ad flashed advertising a 900 number (an old pay-per-minute phone concept that was always a money drain on the caller), and it advertised Shawn Michaels opening up a wrestling school. After an expensive phone call, Bryan was told to pay $20 more for a package to be mailed to him with more info. He did, and when he got the package, it detailed how Michaels wrestling school would cost $3,900 dollars, and it had another 900 number to call if you're interested. Bryan was demoralized and almost didn't call. When he did, though, he was speaking to Shawm Michaels mom, who was helping Shawn run it. Bryan's mom ended up doing all the talking, and the two mothers helped Bryan get set up with a place in San Antonio where the school was. They agreed to let Bryan pay monthly to help him with the finances.
Bryan's first day of wrestling school went exactly like everyone else's first day of wrestling school, with 90% of the students gassed and vomiting. Bryan said out of the 10 guys there, only he and Lance Cade didn't end up vomiting.
Bryan remembers how much Shawn Michaels prioritized his training to Lance Cade. One of the first days, Lance did a basic jump and got so much air that Michaels loudly proclaimed, "I smell money!"
Even though it was Shawn's school, the primary instructor was Rudy Boy Gonzales, a pretty insignificant wrestler from the 80s and 90s. Bryan puts over Rudy as a passionate trainer who motivated him to try harder. Bryan said Rudy would show Bryan anything Bryan saw on a tape and wanted to try.
Bryan says that he and "The" Brian Kendrick became friends immediately as they were both around the same size in the training and had the same level of passion for wrestling.
I always heard that Shawn Michaels wasn't very present for this school, but Bryan tells a different tale, putting Shawn over as someone who was always around and always showing them how to be better.
Bryan does remember some days that Shawn would come in with his sunglasses on, sit at the back of the class, and then dip out early. Bryan didn't realize then that Shawn was in deep with a bad painkiller addiction, and so some days he wasn't as present. Since Bryan grew up with his dad's addiction issues, Bryan says seeing Shawn actually kick the addiction fully put Shawn on a pedestal in Bryan's eyes.
After a couple of months, Shawn was telling the students to start thinking of ring names, and when Bryan couldn't come up with one, he asked Shawn about using his real name. Shawn thought about it for a second before adding "The American Dragon" to it. When Bryan asked why that name, Shawn said it's because Bryan wrestled like a Japanese guy. Bryan took that as a massive compliment.
Bryan didn't tell Shawn, but Bryan initially hated "The American Dragon" name.
Bryan had trouble being expressive and emoting in the ring, so Shawn had him wrestle under a mask.
On October 4th, 1999, Bryan wrestled his first ever match for Shawn Michaels' small promotion, Texas Wrestling Alliance. His opponent was Brian Kendrick (then known as Spanky), and Bryan says as rotton as it was, everyone in the back was super excited for their performance, including Shawn.
Bryan confirms that Kendrick called himself "Spanky" as a masturbation reference.
Shawn arranged for Bryan and Lance Cade to head over to Japan and wrestle for Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling, a bit of a "mudshow" wrestling promotion. Shawn got Bryan and Lance a spot on their card by agreeing to referee a match for the company.
Bryan remembers seeing one guy shove a bottle rocket up his opponents butt and light it off at that FMW show. So yeah, some pretty outlaw stuff.
Bryan describes attempting a moonsalt to the outside of the ring during this Japan tour, but he slipped and cracked his head on the cement. Bryan says, "When I came to, I didn't even know where I was" before describing how he stumbled his way through the match. He notes how concussions have always been a problem for him.
Lance Cade was invited back to FMW later for a 2nd tour, but they didn't ask for Bryan back. That's when Bryan realized that at his size, he needs to get much, much better.
In February 2000, HBK got Bryan, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and another student named Shooter Shultz, a dark match on an episode of Smackdown. He says they planned for a 15-minute tag match before being told last minute that it's been cut down to 6 minutes. Bryan says HBK went and yelled at some people about "his guys" until he got it bumped up to 10 minutes.
Bryan says he got his first documented concussion that match, because they weren't used to a literal ramp, and Bryan cracked his skull on it, doing a pointless dive. He says the WWE doctor backstage told him to just make sure he doesn't fall asleep.
Bryan says when they got backstage after their match, HBK was excited and pumping them up, telling everyone backstage that they should sign all 4 guys immediately. This was on Tuesday, and by Thursday, when WWE still hadn't contacted them, Shawn called them up and threatened to take the 4 to WCW where Kevin Nash would make sure they were signed. Bryan says WWE quickly offered all 4 guys developmental contracts for $500 per week. Bryan says HBK was a great guy to have in your corner.
Shortly after getting the developmental contract, Bryan and Kendrick wrestled a main event ladder match for Shawn's TWA promotion. At the time, Bryan believed that in order to stand out, he would need to wrestle a more daredevil style, so he did some dumb stuff in this match. He did some ridiculous spot that ended with Bryan separating his shoulder. After the match, he took a table bump that legitimately knocked him unconscious for a full minute.
A week or 2 later, the teams had a rematch in a steel cage where all 4 agreed to blade for the first time. Why is he doing this dumb shit right after being offered a WWE contract?
Bryan says those ladder and cage matches made him realize he needed to change his style up and become more mat based. He wouldn't have had a long career if he kept getting hurt. At this point, Bryan has only been wrestling for 6 or 8 months and already suffered maybe 3 concussions. At least 2 for sure.
Bryan Danielson, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and Shooter Shultz all moved to Memphis, where WWE's development primarily opperated out of at the time. William Regal was also a developmental system at the time, trying to show he had kicked his addiction issues.
Memphis Championship Wrestling was the territory they wrestled for, and Bryan remembers wrestling in all sorts of crazy locations like a WalMart parking lot once.
Although Shawn eventually took the mask off Bryan in TWA, the guys at MCW immediately put the mask back on Bryan.
The only time Bryan thought he might get called up to the main roster was in January 2001, when he heard rumors that WWE wanted to start up a cruiserweight division and use Danielson and Kendrick That didn't happen, though, and Bryan never heard another rumor or wiff of him being called up.
In June 2001, someone from WWE talent relations came down to evaluate talent. Brian was let go and told that despite his talent, they just had no plans for him.
In October 2001, Bryan was offered a spot in California based All Pro Wrestling's annual King Of The Indies tournament. Danielson would beat Kendrick in the first round, and after the show, Nick Bockwinkle, who was there watching, loudly told promoter Roland Alexander, "If you don't put that guy over." Bockwinkle said while pointing directly at Bryan, "You're crazy!"
APW head trainer Donovan Morgan was scheduled to beat Bryan in the second round and go on to win the tournament, but promoter Roland made the call to have Bryan win instead.
Bryan says this that while this really pissed Donovan off, what really upset the guy was when Roland offered Danielson and Kendrick trainer positions alongside Donovan.
Kendrick turned the offer down, but Bryan took it and moved to California in January 2002, where he became the head trainer. Though Bryan says he was a lousy trainer and no good at motivating anyone.
On February 2002, Bryan sat down with Gabe Sapolsky, who, after being inspired by the Super 8 tournament Bryan won, wanted Bryan part of his new promotion, Ring of Honor.
Bryan remembers both William Regal and John Laurinaitis said they would try to get Bryan an in to Japan, but both came up short, and both eventually stopped returning Bryan's calls.
In March 2002, Bryan Danielson, Christopher Daniels, and Brian Kendrick got a tryout with New Japan in Santa Monica. Antonio Inoki was actually there to oversee, but he literally had his back turned to the ring while Danielson and Kendrick wrestled. Inoki never bothered to turn around and watch them, instead watching someone stretch, Bryan says. Bryan later heard that New Japan never intended to hire anyone. They just wanted their dojo to look full for press.
After the "tryout," Bryan says that Inoki fell and had to be helped up by a bunch of people. Only the three of them didn't get up to help, with Kendrick saying loudly, "serves the motherfucker right."
Bryan kept making trips to the Santa Monica dojo every couple of weeks until Shinya "Togi" Makabe told him that if Bryan really wanted to be taken seriously, he had to be at the dojo every single day. Bryan took the advice seriously, quit his training job and moved to Santa Monica.
Bryan says he was offered to come tour with New Japan after only training at the dojo full time a few weeks. It was on this tour where Bryan first wrestled in the Tokyo Dome.
In May 2003, Bryan wrestled another Tokyo Dome show, where Bryan, Rocky Romero and TJ Perkins were all pulled aside in the hotel after the show, by Justin Cully. Cully literally slapped each man across the face, saying the slaps are from Inoki, who was disappointed in their proformances that night. Apparently Inoki expected them to wrestle more of a shoot style fight and was very upset.
In March 2004, Bryan won his first title with New Japan, the IWGP Junior Tag titles with Christopher Daniels, and Bryan would spend the majority of the year with New Japan where he wrestled 8 different tours.
Bryan pitched a 3 hour long match to Gabe Sapolsky for a ROH show and is disappointed they didn't go the full 3 hours.
Going into 2005, Bryan expected to wrestle his whole career in New Japan, but was startled when New Japan didn't get his visa renewed for the January tour like they always do. He was told it was a mistake and he would be back for March tour, but again he was told last minute they didn't have a visa for him. In May they contacted him last minute inviting him for a tour, but at a ridiculous pay cut down to $500 per week. Bryan turned the offer down and never went back to that Santa Monica dojo or work for New Japan again. He later heard that he was used as a pawn in a power struggle with the Dojo and New Japan.
In mid-2005 Bryan got an email from CM-Punk about a rumor suggesting that both WWE and TNA were interested in Bryan, Punk and Samoa Joe. Joe would quickly sign with TNA after this and Punk took a developmental deal with WWE. Bryan never heard from either company, and a few months later Gabe Sapolsky told Bryan he wanted to build ROH around Bryan but wanted a promise that Bryan wouldn't just leave to WWE or TNA. Great timing Gabe, because Bryan immediately said yes.
After winning the ROH World title in September 2005, Bryan says his title reign was falling flat until he started being cocky and cutting those "best in the world" promos. Bryan even shades Jericho and Punk a little by saying at the time no one else was saying it and that's why it worked so well for him.
Bryan puts over his matches with Nigel McGuinness in summer of 2006, but points out one in particular he regrets. Nigel had the idea for Bryan to pull Nigel's face into the steel ring post 3 times to get real blood. After 3 attempts and no blood, Nigel yelled, "One more time!" They got blood on the 4th time, and gave Nigel a severe concussion.
Five minutes into an hour long match with Colt Cabana in August 2006, Bryan landed bad on the outside of the ring, where he separated that same right shoulder as before and tore two tendons.
Three weeks later, Bryan defended his ROH title against KENTA of all people, who legitimately targeted his hurt shoulder all match. Then Bryan went to tour Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah where he and KENTA had a rematch.
Bryan would finally drop the ROH title in December 2006 and then take nearly 4 months off. This is the first time he took off since he started wrestling in 1999.
After doing a tour of Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah in April 2007, Bryan was excited to come back to ROH and signed a 2 year contract.
In June 2007, Bryan and Nigel wrestled an extremely physical match that featured a spot where the two traded headbutts. The match didn't air until September that year and in the mean time, the Chris Benoit double murdesuicide happened and the talk of concussions and safety concerns changed completely. The match was not recieved well and Gabe later told Bryan that they shouldn't have aired it at all.
ROH struggled after the Benoit incident and most everyone had to adapt and tone down their styles. Bryan wasn't one of those people, and actually refused to tone down his style. Later in 2007 he would rupture his ear drum exchanging open palm strikes with KENTA and he would suffer a detached retina in a match with Takeshi Morishima. To this day, he has trouble hearing from his left ear and has trouble with vision.
Bryan remembers being super late for a show and not even being able to meet his opponent beforehand. To Bryan's suprise, his opponent, who despite being green, was great to work with and the two had good chemistry. That was a young Jon Moxley.
In Summer of 2008, Shawn Michaels was fueding with Chris Jericho and they incorporated Lamce Cade on Jericho's side, since Shawn trained Lance. Shawn actually reached out to Bryan about also joining the WWE and being involved in the story.
Bryan met with Vince McMahon and remembers how taken back Vince seemed when they first met, and thinks it was because of Bryan's size and how plain he looked. Bryan also didn't sell himself well in the meeting, saying he is "just okay." Head of talent relations John Laurinaitis told Bryan that they would call him, but he never did.
When Bryan returned from a Japan tour in October 2008, he was shocked to find Gabe Sapolsky had been fired by ROH and replaced by Adam Pearce. Bryan details that while Gabe liked to book long shows with everyone on the card trying their hardest to steal the show, Pearce booked shorter shows and had the lower card guys preform well, but not to try everything under the sun to outshine the main event. You can see why Jim Cornette and Adam Pearce get along so well.
Bryan notes how he was fueding with Claudio Castignoli when Gabe was fired, but Pearce immediately ended that program to which Bryan says he and Claudio were disappointed.
After another failed attempt to get into WWE I'm early 2009, Bryan refocused his energies by moving to Las Vegas where he started training in kick boxing and other forms of mixed martial arts.
Bryan trained religiously for months under a former MMA fighter Neil Melanson. Neil is the one who taught Bryan the LaBell Lock.
When Bryan's ROH contract expired in May 2009, he called John Laurinaitis and left a message, but never heard back.
Bryan says in mid-2009, he was talking to Gabe Sapolsky about starting up a new promotion that would become Evolve. Bryan says that Paul Heyman was even involved with these talks.
Brian Kendrick called Danielson up to pitch Danielson coming to WWE as Kendrick's tag partner. Danielson even went and filmed a bunch of promos with Kendrick and fel optimistic. Unfortunately, Kendrick was fired just a few weeks later before any of those vignets aired and that opportunity was gone as well.
Bryan had given up ever going to WWE when John Laurinaitis called him in September 2009 offering him a main roster contract. Bryan was so excited he didn't have to go to developmental, that he would be right on the main roster immediately. Or so he thought, I guess they didn't bother telling Brilyan about NXT at that time, even though it sounds like he was signed with that in mind.
Nigel was also signed at the same time (probably also meant for NXT) but before either man could start, they had to pass WWE medical tests. They asked them both about past injuries, and Bryan just lied, saying he never had anything wrong and was fine. Didn't mention his shoulder being separated twice, or the detached retina, or any concussion. Nigel on the other hand, was very honest about his injuries, including a torn bicep that he didn't get worked on, he just rehabbed it. Nigel figured he was a lock and didn't see the need to lie.
WWE was concerned about Bryan's elevated liver enzymes, and wanted Nigel to get surgery on his bicep before they would sign him. Both guys were wrestling a farewell tour with ROH and both genuinely concerned they wouldn't actually be leaving. In their last match for ROH, Bryan accidentally gave Nigel a concussion, because apparently these guys only know how to wrestle at one speed!
Nigel couldn't afford the bicep surgery and his own doctor was telling him he is fine, so Nigel went to TNA instead. Nigel would only wrestle for another year before his body would break down too far on him and he would retire.
Bryan signed his WWE contract on October 2nd, 2009, nearly 10 years to the day of his debut match. William Regal actually told Bryan, "Your wrestling career came before this and is over now. Anything else that happens now is a bonus."
William Regal came up with the name "Daniel Bryan" for Bryan to use in WWE. Brian tried arguing to Laurinaitis to use his real name and citing John Cena as an example, Laurinaitis simply told Bryan, "We don't do that anymore."
In early 2010, Bryan and seven other guys were told one day about the NXT concept and how they would be used. Bryan found out who his NXT "pro" would be just like everyone else, when WWE posted it on their website. Bryan initially legit wanted Regal as his "pro" but soon realized being paired with Miz gives him a story immediately.
Bryan describes his time in NXT as the most unusual of his career. The "rookies" all legitimately didn't know what was going to happen on any show and everything they did was 100% unscripted and improvised.
The first night in NXT, all the "rookies" were told 15 minutes before the show, that their "pro" would cut a promo on them and they needed to react accordingly. Bryan had no idea that his pro, the Miz was going to tell him to head to the ring and cut a promo on himself, literally telling him on live TV to make the fans care about him. Bryan had no idea what to say, no real direction he was given to go in, and no tome to plan or rehearse. Miz also told him to come up with a catchphrase, and Bryan said he always hated catch phrases.
In the ring, Bryan cut a generic promo where he said he lost his train of thought and was super greatful when The Miz came out to finish the promo off. Bryan didn't know that would happen and Bryan definitely didn't know Miz was going to slap him at the end. Bryan says that later, The Miz confided to Bryan that he was worried Bryan would try to fight him over the slap.
Bryan credits Chris Jericho for getting him over in his first WWE match, and says that neither he, nor Miz knew that Miz was to beat up Brian after the match. Apparently, Miz was informed during the Jericho/Bryan match that he was to attack Bryan after the finish. Wild how much "flying by the seat of their pants" that WWE did with early NXT.
After the show, Jericho told Bryan that Vince was impressed, though he noted how Vince said, "Ugh, but he doesn't even eat meat!"
Bryan describes promo class with Vince as kinda insane to be honest. One time Bryan accidentally spilled a water bottle, and Vince asked everyone how that made them feel about Bryan. Stuff like that.
Bryan says the NXT rookies weren't allowed to use the regular dressing room and had to use some tarped off part of the backstage area.
Bryan notes how most of the NXT season, the NXT rookies never really knew what was going to happen. The 2nd week Bryan lost to Wade Barret and wasn't told that Chris Jericho would be attacking him after the match.
Bryan says his initial storyline with The Miz wasn't a losing streak idea, but something where each loss had meaning and was being built with purpose. Miz was very hands on with each show and helped to put over Bryan and the storyline, but when Miz missed 2 weeks in a row, the producers left in charge basically just turned it into a losing streak storyline, which Bryan says, "never works."
One time on a plane, Ezekiel Jackson asked "which rookie has an isle seat?" Bryan raised his had and Ezekiel said, "Not anymore." Bryan stood his ground and refused, offering his seat to anyone but Ezekiel. Ezekiel got pissed but William Regal came over and chastised Jackson, saying Bryan is like a son to him and how Bryan has more talent in his pinky ginger than Jackson has in his whole body.
Bryan says the NXT "Pros Polls" were legitimate voting done by the pros. That's why Bryan ended up in first place, despite losing every match.
A week after Wrestlemania in 2010, NXT's direction and purpose shifted away from being serious to silly, and Bryan says they were suddenly doing dumb game show competitions and putting over how demoralizing it was.
Bryan says Skip Shepfield (Ryback) was the only rookie taking the competitions seriously and trying to win each game. Sounds on brand for the big guy.
Bryan says he was trying to be humble when asked who should be eliminated and he said himself. He figured since he lost to everyone he didn't have a right to say any of them. Backstage Miz told him he made a mistake and shouldn't have put that perception out there.
A week later they liked the rookies up on TV (an hour before it goes live) and informed Bryan and fellow rookie Michael Tarver that they are both eliminated, without telling them beforehand. Bryan felt this validated all the warnings guys like Colt Cabana and other gave him about WWE.
Right after Matt Striker interviewed him backstage and when asked an insulting question, Bryan snapped and started talking down about "Daniel Bryan" and started to put over "Bryan Danielson!" Bryan says he could hear Vince screaming into Striker's ear piece and apparently Vince threw his headset when Bryan said his real name.
They made Bryan retape the interview without saying that, but still aired his original interview.
Bryan was surprisingly called back to NXT the following week to start a rivalry with Micheal Cole, who had been verbally obliterating Bryan on commentary since Bryan debuted. Bryan seems to be greatful for that program since it kept him on tv and made him confident that he would keep his job.
The RAW after NXT season 1 ended, all the rookies were pulled into Vince's office and told about Nexus and the attack in the main event. They were told not to tell anyone or else they will be fired. Bryan says he even lied to William Regal, when asked why he was dressed to wrestle.
They were supposed to attack John Cena and Rey Mysterio in the main event, because WWE let the fans vote on Cena's opponent and they assumed Rey would get it. Surprisingly it was CM Punk, and Bryan isn't sure how much Punk was told about the angle.
Bryan legit choked Justin Roberts during the melee, leaving red marks on his skin with his tie. Bryan said he doesn't trust non-wrestlers to sell good so he did it for real, with Justin going purple on Tv. Later during the brawl, Bryan was grabbing a cable to choke someone else when a cameraman told him "no choking!" Bryan does note that he thinks Justin Roberts found it pretty cool to be involved. And later Heath Slater grabbed the dismantled ring ropes to choke Cena, but Cena told him as well, "No choking."
Cena told Bryan before the angle, "It's not the hit you do that's important, it's what you do before the hit that matters." This is why Bryan spit in Cena's face before kicking him in the head.
Backstage, Bryan was reprimanded twice, for choking and spitting. Two days later Vince McMahon personally called Bryan to tell him he was let go and apologized to Bryan for it. Bryan, arrogant as all hell, responded with, "Don't apologize, I'll make more money this year on the independents than I would have working for you."
Bryan called John Laurinaitis to clear up details and Laurinaitis was shocked to hear Bryan was fired. Apparently Vince didn't tell anyone, just called Laurinaitis up and asked for Bryan's number. The comment Bryan made about money seemed to get to Vince since Laurinaitis called Bryan back and asked about it. Laurinaitis actually told Bryan that he can start working independent dates immediately if he wasn't on TV.
After working several shows and making good money off merchandise for several weeks, Bryan was shocked when John Laurinaitis called him in August and asked him to come back for a big angle leading into SummerSlam. Bryan sheepishly asked for a raise and made sure he could make all his already planned independent bookings.
Bryan says Nexas should have won at SummerSlam, noting how they went from dangerous to jobbers in one night.
Bryan remembers a taped RAW after SummerSlam where he did an angle with The Miz. When he got backstage Vince was so mad at how it came off that he made Bryan and others go back out there and do it again. It was the first time Bryan ever had to redo something like that and he said he felt humiliated.
Bryan didnt seem to see much value in being US Champion outside of how it would keep him on tv and maybe monthly ppv matches.
At Hell in a Cell 2010 ppv, Bryan had a good match with Miz and John Morrison, but was scolded after that match for a spot where Bryan threw Miz's stoog Alex Riley off the stage where he landed on cameraman. They showed the two guys the footage and accused them of doing it on purpose to get themselves over. Bryan started regretting coming back and really hating his time in WWE.
Bryan was paired with the Bella Twins in a storyline he hated, that was based on the Twins confusing the word "vegan" for "virgin" and competing to sleep with Bryan. Despite how bad that storyline was, Bryan and Brie would develop a relationship and would start dating in February 2011.
Sheamus was given a choice of Wrestlemania opponents that year between Rey Mysterio and Daniel Bryan, and Sheamus chose Bryan. Bryan was greatful but concerned Sheamus chose wrong and their match would be cut but Sheamus wasn't worried at all. A week before Mania they were informed their match was on the pre-show at a meeting with literally every other wrestler. Bryan says Sheamus buried his face in his hands and remembers how Rey Mysterio got on the card in a match with Cody Rhodes. Bryan says Sheamus picked the wrong guy.
Bryan got some details in his book messed up where he talks about Miz winning the WWE title off Cena at Wrestlemania 27 and he talks about how Miz was WWE Champion going into Over The Limit ppv 2011, but Miz lost the title by then. It's notable because he says he pitched hard for a "Rocky style" storyline where he would challenge Miz for the WWE title at the Over The Limit ppv.
Bryan says the 2011 Smackdown Money in the Bank winner wasn't decided until the day of the show but it was always between Wade Barret, Cody Rhodes and Bryan. He says despite winning the briefcase, his tv time tricked down and eventually he was spending weeks off tv, until he was randomly inserted into the World title program between Mark Henry and Big Show in late 2011.
Bryan was being left at home and off shows, even watching Survivor Series 2011 from home and was suprised when WWE had him come to the December TLC ppv show, last minute. The day of the show he was told he was cashing in and winning the title and the only direction Vince McMahon gave him was to act like he won the superbowl, so that's where Bryan's over the top celebration came from. He didn't even tell his girlfriend Brie Bella about the plan and says she was shocked when he came backstage afterwards.
The only direction Vince gave Bryan as champion is to celebrate every appearance like he won the lottery, saying, "there is no too over the top here."
Bryan said he adapted his "Yes" chants from MMA fighter Diego Sanchez who was celebrating in a similar way at the time.
Bryan's favorite moment from that first world title run was the closing sequence in the 2012 Elimination Chamber match with him and Santino Marella.
Bryan originally expected he and Sheamus to get 15 minutes or so at Wrestlemania for their match, but was shocked when Chris Jericho told him he heard it would be 8 minutes, including the pre & post match stuff. A week later Arn Anderson confirmed to Bryan that he would lose a 1-move match, dropping the world title to Sheamus at Wrestlemania that year. Bryan and Sheamus were both pissed, to say the least.
Sheamus expressed concern that the short match would turn fans against him as a new champion. Smart man.
Bryan says a bunch of guys came up to him after his Mania loss and were pissed at what they did to Bryan out there. Great Khali even came up and told Bryan that it was bullshit in his broken English.
Originally Sheamus was planned to move into a fued with Alberto Del-rio right after Mania, but the crazy crowd support for Bryan forced them to extend they story another month. Bryan says his Extreme Rules ppv match with Sheamus in 2012 is one of his favorites. Mine too!
Bryan acknowledged the weird booking of Punk as champion in 2012, noting how heels would face John Cena, lose, then be sent to face Punk with no momentum. Interesting take on the situation.
Bryan mentions how when he and Punk fueded in 2012, they never got main event spots outside of non-televised events. One time at a house show, Bryan and Punk veered too far into comedy and after the match John Cena chastised Bryan by pointing out that they didn't wrestle a "main event style" match. Apparently the next house show, Cena was moved into the main event spot with Punk/Bryan being before the intermission. An enraged Punk went and yelled at people until he got his main event spot back. This time, no comedy spots were done and they stayed the main event for the circuit.
Bryan had brand new, edgier gear made up prior to Money in the Bank 2012 and didn't tell anyone backstage. He wore shorts over his trunk and hid the jacket until he had to go out. When he got to the ring, the ref told him to lose the jacket, because I guess Vince was in gorilla position freaking out over how Bryan looked. Dean Melanko was the producer for the match, and Bryan felt bad when Vince blamed him for allowing Bryan to wear it.
Bryan was originally planned to wrestle Charlie Sheen at SummerSlam 2012 in a celebrity match, but Charlie "bailed" as Bryan put it.
Bryan was trying to be "Mr Small Package" by winning matches with Small Package and then boasting about how he has an "inescapable small package!" It didn't get over.
Bryan thought his anger management vignets with Kane and Dr Shelby were going to be terrible.
The only reason they stopped using Dr Shelby is because he had limited days off from his regular teaching job.
Bryan and Kane really wanted their team name to be "Team Friendship" and they even had shirt ideas but Vince let the fans vote and he always kept those votes legit, so their team name was "Team Hell No" which Bryan brings up a good point about. He said as a team primarily appealing to kids, a name with "Hell" in it would be hard to sell merchandise to those kids.
The plan was to break up their team so they could have a good heated fued together, but they were so popular that they kept teaming for 9 months.
Bryan says his first good Wrestlemania experience was in 2013 when he teamed with Kane.
One night after Mania in 2013, when Bryan tagged with Kane and Undertaker to face The Shield, Vince McMahon told Bryan that he would pay him several thousand dollars if he could get Undertaker to hug Bryan in the ring. After the show Bryan got on the mic and tried his hardest to get the hug but couldn't quite do it.
Bryan says that both he and Kane agree that teaming together was some of the most fun in either man's career.
Bryan was scheduled to win the biggest match of his career up to that point, he would be beating Randy Orton clean on RAW. Bryan would botch a dive that left both arms nunb and him unable to stand. He got feeling back in one arm but eventually the doctor called the match off. Backstage Bryan started screaming at Triple H for calling the match and called him a hypocrite for doing so, citing his own injuries in matches. At one point Orton tried to calm Bryan down, but Bryan snapped at him and Orton started yelling too. Brie got Bryan away to calm down, but when Vince came to talk to Bryan, the shouting started again. Much later, William Regal advised Bryan to apologize to both Vince and Triple H, to which Bryan took his advice. The next week, Bryan would get his win over Orton and he says that that drama over everything made that win matter more.
An MRI showed that one of Bryan's disks was pushing into his nerves and eventually he would need surgery. With his momentum starting to rise, Bryan opted to put surgery off.
John Cena pitched facing Daniel Bryan at Money in the Bank 2013 ppv. When Vince asked why, Cena said because it's the biggest match they could do at that time. Vince ended up agreeing, but deciding that it belongs at SummerSlam that year instead!
As proud as Bryan is of the build to and match with Cena at SummerSlam, he acknowledges that the ppv didn't do good numbers, nor did the house show business the following 2 months when Bryan was the main protagonist. He thinks a lot the the Authority promos on him stemmed from some truth.
Bryan isn't satisfied with the quality of matches he was putting out in the latter half of 2013 amd he specifically calls out the series of bad finishes he had with Randy Orton in ppv main events. From the fast counting crooked ref, to that terrible one with Big Show knocking everyone out, and then to Shawn Michaels betraying Bryan at Hell in a Cell ppv.
Bryan initially thought he was getting a Wrestlemania match with Shawn Michaels after that Hell in a Cell finish, but after talking with HBK, it was clear that was never in the cards.
Bryan feels he failed as a main eventer in the 2nd half of 2013, regardless of match quality. He didn't move business and that's all that matters.
The Slammy's were fan votes and Vince didn't think Bryan would win and almost laughed when Bryan asked him what he should say if he does win. Vince said, "whatever you want." I wish I could have seen Vince's face when Bryan won later that night.
When Bryan started fueding with Wyatt Family in late-2013, Bryan was pitching for him to be "brainwashed" and join the group. He suspects that his rising popularity in early 2014 is what convinced WWE to have Bryan turn on Bray and leave the group. At the time, Bryan was hoping to stay with the group and be involved in the planned Cena/Wyatt Wrestlemania program since Bryan had no plans for Mania at that time.
Bryan says he was disappointed when Vince told him he would be facing Sheamus again at Wrestlemania 2014. No disrespect to Sheamus, but Bryan felt he belonged in a higher spot.
Bryan felt bad for the way Rey Mysterio was boo'd at the 2014 Royal Rumble.
When Punk quit WWE after Rumble that year, Bryan remembers how plans didn't change too much for a few weeks, and he assumes Vince expected Punk to come back and for Batista to win the crowds over, and neither happened.
Triple H was being vocal about wanting to face Bryan at Mania that year, but Bryan was trying to not get his hopes up since he had seen Triple H try and fail to get his ideas on screen.
Bryan and Brie only agreed to let Total Divas shoot their wedding, because Total Divas agreed to pay for the whole wedding! Hard to say no to that!
Bryan is very satisfied with his matches at Wrestlemania 30 and says he was so focused between matches that he missed Undertaker losing to Lesnar. He heard the ring bell and looked up at the monitor in shock. He says they cameras should have filmed the guys and girls in the back because their reactions were wild, apparently.
Five days after Wrestlemania 30, Bryan and Brie got married, but 2 days after their honeymoon ended, Bryan's dad unexpectedly passed away at the age of 57. Bryan was devastated and described how he was crying still as he was writing about it.
The book ends on a complete downer, very unlike most other wrestling books. Bryan says that as long as he wrestled when asked if everything he was missing or sacrificing was worth it, Bryan always said yes. He assumed he would have more time when he was done and could catch up on what he missed, but his dad is gone and Bryan openly admits that it wasn't worth it. If he could, Bryan would change a lot of his decisions if it meant more time with his dad.
He says he is still wrestling though because he literally doesn't know what else to do or what comes after. This is especially depressing 10 years later, when Bryan is still wrestling despite having started a family of his own. I hope he doesn't regret any time missed with his daughter.
He ends the book by describing the last time he saw his dad, on Christmas in 2013, where his dad dressed up as Santa. Fuck. I'm sad now.

Solid wrestling book, though not super memorable in my opinion. Some solid detail and dirt like you expect, but honestly it felt like he was holding back.
As always, it's in chronological order as best as I could do that. Hope y'all enjoy!
Bryan is a weird dude, while describing his adolescence, he casually says that he has a lot of weird hypothesis on various subjects, and we should ask Nigel McGuinness about Bryan's theory on how a penis grows. He doesn't expand on this more. He just says that and moves back to talking about his childhood.
Bryan rants a bit about how modern medicine has stunted human evolution because kids who would have died off got to live and reproduce and pass their "defects" onto the next generation. He says that he is one of those defects, sick all his childhood and sick a lot as an adult. He says that his wife Brie is also a "defect" but says she can share the details in her own book if she ever writes one.
When Bryan was 16 years old, he contacted Dean Melanko's wrestling school and was told it would cost him $2,500, but he needed a $500 deposit to secure his spot. Bryan was scared that there were hundreds of people on the waiting list and worked extra shifts at McDonald's in order to get the cash together asap. He put $500 deposit down for a wrestling school he couldn't go to for 2 more years.
Three months before Bryan graduated high school, the Melanko Wrestling School contacted to inform Bryan that the school was shutting down permanently. When Bryan asked for his $500 back, he was told that they no longer had it and that he was SOL.
While watching Monday Night RAW, an ad flashed advertising a 900 number (an old pay-per-minute phone concept that was always a money drain on the caller), and it advertised Shawn Michaels opening up a wrestling school. After an expensive phone call, Bryan was told to pay $20 more for a package to be mailed to him with more info. He did, and when he got the package, it detailed how Michaels wrestling school would cost $3,900 dollars, and it had another 900 number to call if you're interested. Bryan was demoralized and almost didn't call. When he did, though, he was speaking to Shawm Michaels mom, who was helping Shawn run it. Bryan's mom ended up doing all the talking, and the two mothers helped Bryan get set up with a place in San Antonio where the school was. They agreed to let Bryan pay monthly to help him with the finances.
Bryan's first day of wrestling school went exactly like everyone else's first day of wrestling school, with 90% of the students gassed and vomiting. Bryan said out of the 10 guys there, only he and Lance Cade didn't end up vomiting.
Bryan remembers how much Shawn Michaels prioritized his training to Lance Cade. One of the first days, Lance did a basic jump and got so much air that Michaels loudly proclaimed, "I smell money!"
Even though it was Shawn's school, the primary instructor was Rudy Boy Gonzales, a pretty insignificant wrestler from the 80s and 90s. Bryan puts over Rudy as a passionate trainer who motivated him to try harder. Bryan said Rudy would show Bryan anything Bryan saw on a tape and wanted to try.
Bryan says that he and "The" Brian Kendrick became friends immediately as they were both around the same size in the training and had the same level of passion for wrestling.
I always heard that Shawn Michaels wasn't very present for this school, but Bryan tells a different tale, putting Shawn over as someone who was always around and always showing them how to be better.
Bryan does remember some days that Shawn would come in with his sunglasses on, sit at the back of the class, and then dip out early. Bryan didn't realize then that Shawn was in deep with a bad painkiller addiction, and so some days he wasn't as present. Since Bryan grew up with his dad's addiction issues, Bryan says seeing Shawn actually kick the addiction fully put Shawn on a pedestal in Bryan's eyes.
After a couple of months, Shawn was telling the students to start thinking of ring names, and when Bryan couldn't come up with one, he asked Shawn about using his real name. Shawn thought about it for a second before adding "The American Dragon" to it. When Bryan asked why that name, Shawn said it's because Bryan wrestled like a Japanese guy. Bryan took that as a massive compliment.
Bryan didn't tell Shawn, but Bryan initially hated "The American Dragon" name.
Bryan had trouble being expressive and emoting in the ring, so Shawn had him wrestle under a mask.
On October 4th, 1999, Bryan wrestled his first ever match for Shawn Michaels' small promotion, Texas Wrestling Alliance. His opponent was Brian Kendrick (then known as Spanky), and Bryan says as rotton as it was, everyone in the back was super excited for their performance, including Shawn.
Bryan confirms that Kendrick called himself "Spanky" as a masturbation reference.
Shawn arranged for Bryan and Lance Cade to head over to Japan and wrestle for Frontier Martial Arts Wrestling, a bit of a "mudshow" wrestling promotion. Shawn got Bryan and Lance a spot on their card by agreeing to referee a match for the company.
Bryan remembers seeing one guy shove a bottle rocket up his opponents butt and light it off at that FMW show. So yeah, some pretty outlaw stuff.
Bryan describes attempting a moonsalt to the outside of the ring during this Japan tour, but he slipped and cracked his head on the cement. Bryan says, "When I came to, I didn't even know where I was" before describing how he stumbled his way through the match. He notes how concussions have always been a problem for him.
Lance Cade was invited back to FMW later for a 2nd tour, but they didn't ask for Bryan back. That's when Bryan realized that at his size, he needs to get much, much better.
In February 2000, HBK got Bryan, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and another student named Shooter Shultz, a dark match on an episode of Smackdown. He says they planned for a 15-minute tag match before being told last minute that it's been cut down to 6 minutes. Bryan says HBK went and yelled at some people about "his guys" until he got it bumped up to 10 minutes.
Bryan says he got his first documented concussion that match, because they weren't used to a literal ramp, and Bryan cracked his skull on it, doing a pointless dive. He says the WWE doctor backstage told him to just make sure he doesn't fall asleep.
Bryan says when they got backstage after their match, HBK was excited and pumping them up, telling everyone backstage that they should sign all 4 guys immediately. This was on Tuesday, and by Thursday, when WWE still hadn't contacted them, Shawn called them up and threatened to take the 4 to WCW where Kevin Nash would make sure they were signed. Bryan says WWE quickly offered all 4 guys developmental contracts for $500 per week. Bryan says HBK was a great guy to have in your corner.
Shortly after getting the developmental contract, Bryan and Kendrick wrestled a main event ladder match for Shawn's TWA promotion. At the time, Bryan believed that in order to stand out, he would need to wrestle a more daredevil style, so he did some dumb stuff in this match. He did some ridiculous spot that ended with Bryan separating his shoulder. After the match, he took a table bump that legitimately knocked him unconscious for a full minute.
A week or 2 later, the teams had a rematch in a steel cage where all 4 agreed to blade for the first time. Why is he doing this dumb shit right after being offered a WWE contract?
Bryan says those ladder and cage matches made him realize he needed to change his style up and become more mat based. He wouldn't have had a long career if he kept getting hurt. At this point, Bryan has only been wrestling for 6 or 8 months and already suffered maybe 3 concussions. At least 2 for sure.
Bryan Danielson, Lance Cade, Brian Kendrick, and Shooter Shultz all moved to Memphis, where WWE's development primarily opperated out of at the time. William Regal was also a developmental system at the time, trying to show he had kicked his addiction issues.
Memphis Championship Wrestling was the territory they wrestled for, and Bryan remembers wrestling in all sorts of crazy locations like a WalMart parking lot once.
Although Shawn eventually took the mask off Bryan in TWA, the guys at MCW immediately put the mask back on Bryan.
The only time Bryan thought he might get called up to the main roster was in January 2001, when he heard rumors that WWE wanted to start up a cruiserweight division and use Danielson and Kendrick That didn't happen, though, and Bryan never heard another rumor or wiff of him being called up.
In June 2001, someone from WWE talent relations came down to evaluate talent. Brian was let go and told that despite his talent, they just had no plans for him.
In October 2001, Bryan was offered a spot in California based All Pro Wrestling's annual King Of The Indies tournament. Danielson would beat Kendrick in the first round, and after the show, Nick Bockwinkle, who was there watching, loudly told promoter Roland Alexander, "If you don't put that guy over." Bockwinkle said while pointing directly at Bryan, "You're crazy!"
APW head trainer Donovan Morgan was scheduled to beat Bryan in the second round and go on to win the tournament, but promoter Roland made the call to have Bryan win instead.
Bryan says this that while this really pissed Donovan off, what really upset the guy was when Roland offered Danielson and Kendrick trainer positions alongside Donovan.
Kendrick turned the offer down, but Bryan took it and moved to California in January 2002, where he became the head trainer. Though Bryan says he was a lousy trainer and no good at motivating anyone.
On February 2002, Bryan sat down with Gabe Sapolsky, who, after being inspired by the Super 8 tournament Bryan won, wanted Bryan part of his new promotion, Ring of Honor.
Bryan remembers both William Regal and John Laurinaitis said they would try to get Bryan an in to Japan, but both came up short, and both eventually stopped returning Bryan's calls.
In March 2002, Bryan Danielson, Christopher Daniels, and Brian Kendrick got a tryout with New Japan in Santa Monica. Antonio Inoki was actually there to oversee, but he literally had his back turned to the ring while Danielson and Kendrick wrestled. Inoki never bothered to turn around and watch them, instead watching someone stretch, Bryan says. Bryan later heard that New Japan never intended to hire anyone. They just wanted their dojo to look full for press.
After the "tryout," Bryan says that Inoki fell and had to be helped up by a bunch of people. Only the three of them didn't get up to help, with Kendrick saying loudly, "serves the motherfucker right."
Bryan kept making trips to the Santa Monica dojo every couple of weeks until Shinya "Togi" Makabe told him that if Bryan really wanted to be taken seriously, he had to be at the dojo every single day. Bryan took the advice seriously, quit his training job and moved to Santa Monica.
Bryan says he was offered to come tour with New Japan after only training at the dojo full time a few weeks. It was on this tour where Bryan first wrestled in the Tokyo Dome.
In May 2003, Bryan wrestled another Tokyo Dome show, where Bryan, Rocky Romero and TJ Perkins were all pulled aside in the hotel after the show, by Justin Cully. Cully literally slapped each man across the face, saying the slaps are from Inoki, who was disappointed in their proformances that night. Apparently Inoki expected them to wrestle more of a shoot style fight and was very upset.
In March 2004, Bryan won his first title with New Japan, the IWGP Junior Tag titles with Christopher Daniels, and Bryan would spend the majority of the year with New Japan where he wrestled 8 different tours.
Bryan pitched a 3 hour long match to Gabe Sapolsky for a ROH show and is disappointed they didn't go the full 3 hours.
Going into 2005, Bryan expected to wrestle his whole career in New Japan, but was startled when New Japan didn't get his visa renewed for the January tour like they always do. He was told it was a mistake and he would be back for March tour, but again he was told last minute they didn't have a visa for him. In May they contacted him last minute inviting him for a tour, but at a ridiculous pay cut down to $500 per week. Bryan turned the offer down and never went back to that Santa Monica dojo or work for New Japan again. He later heard that he was used as a pawn in a power struggle with the Dojo and New Japan.
In mid-2005 Bryan got an email from CM-Punk about a rumor suggesting that both WWE and TNA were interested in Bryan, Punk and Samoa Joe. Joe would quickly sign with TNA after this and Punk took a developmental deal with WWE. Bryan never heard from either company, and a few months later Gabe Sapolsky told Bryan he wanted to build ROH around Bryan but wanted a promise that Bryan wouldn't just leave to WWE or TNA. Great timing Gabe, because Bryan immediately said yes.
After winning the ROH World title in September 2005, Bryan says his title reign was falling flat until he started being cocky and cutting those "best in the world" promos. Bryan even shades Jericho and Punk a little by saying at the time no one else was saying it and that's why it worked so well for him.
Bryan puts over his matches with Nigel McGuinness in summer of 2006, but points out one in particular he regrets. Nigel had the idea for Bryan to pull Nigel's face into the steel ring post 3 times to get real blood. After 3 attempts and no blood, Nigel yelled, "One more time!" They got blood on the 4th time, and gave Nigel a severe concussion.
Five minutes into an hour long match with Colt Cabana in August 2006, Bryan landed bad on the outside of the ring, where he separated that same right shoulder as before and tore two tendons.
Three weeks later, Bryan defended his ROH title against KENTA of all people, who legitimately targeted his hurt shoulder all match. Then Bryan went to tour Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah where he and KENTA had a rematch.
Bryan would finally drop the ROH title in December 2006 and then take nearly 4 months off. This is the first time he took off since he started wrestling in 1999.
After doing a tour of Japan with Pro Wrestling Noah in April 2007, Bryan was excited to come back to ROH and signed a 2 year contract.
In June 2007, Bryan and Nigel wrestled an extremely physical match that featured a spot where the two traded headbutts. The match didn't air until September that year and in the mean time, the Chris Benoit double murdesuicide happened and the talk of concussions and safety concerns changed completely. The match was not recieved well and Gabe later told Bryan that they shouldn't have aired it at all.
ROH struggled after the Benoit incident and most everyone had to adapt and tone down their styles. Bryan wasn't one of those people, and actually refused to tone down his style. Later in 2007 he would rupture his ear drum exchanging open palm strikes with KENTA and he would suffer a detached retina in a match with Takeshi Morishima. To this day, he has trouble hearing from his left ear and has trouble with vision.
Bryan remembers being super late for a show and not even being able to meet his opponent beforehand. To Bryan's suprise, his opponent, who despite being green, was great to work with and the two had good chemistry. That was a young Jon Moxley.
In Summer of 2008, Shawn Michaels was fueding with Chris Jericho and they incorporated Lamce Cade on Jericho's side, since Shawn trained Lance. Shawn actually reached out to Bryan about also joining the WWE and being involved in the story.
Bryan met with Vince McMahon and remembers how taken back Vince seemed when they first met, and thinks it was because of Bryan's size and how plain he looked. Bryan also didn't sell himself well in the meeting, saying he is "just okay." Head of talent relations John Laurinaitis told Bryan that they would call him, but he never did.
When Bryan returned from a Japan tour in October 2008, he was shocked to find Gabe Sapolsky had been fired by ROH and replaced by Adam Pearce. Bryan details that while Gabe liked to book long shows with everyone on the card trying their hardest to steal the show, Pearce booked shorter shows and had the lower card guys preform well, but not to try everything under the sun to outshine the main event. You can see why Jim Cornette and Adam Pearce get along so well.
Bryan notes how he was fueding with Claudio Castignoli when Gabe was fired, but Pearce immediately ended that program to which Bryan says he and Claudio were disappointed.
After another failed attempt to get into WWE I'm early 2009, Bryan refocused his energies by moving to Las Vegas where he started training in kick boxing and other forms of mixed martial arts.
Bryan trained religiously for months under a former MMA fighter Neil Melanson. Neil is the one who taught Bryan the LaBell Lock.
When Bryan's ROH contract expired in May 2009, he called John Laurinaitis and left a message, but never heard back.
Bryan says in mid-2009, he was talking to Gabe Sapolsky about starting up a new promotion that would become Evolve. Bryan says that Paul Heyman was even involved with these talks.
Brian Kendrick called Danielson up to pitch Danielson coming to WWE as Kendrick's tag partner. Danielson even went and filmed a bunch of promos with Kendrick and fel optimistic. Unfortunately, Kendrick was fired just a few weeks later before any of those vignets aired and that opportunity was gone as well.
Bryan had given up ever going to WWE when John Laurinaitis called him in September 2009 offering him a main roster contract. Bryan was so excited he didn't have to go to developmental, that he would be right on the main roster immediately. Or so he thought, I guess they didn't bother telling Brilyan about NXT at that time, even though it sounds like he was signed with that in mind.
Nigel was also signed at the same time (probably also meant for NXT) but before either man could start, they had to pass WWE medical tests. They asked them both about past injuries, and Bryan just lied, saying he never had anything wrong and was fine. Didn't mention his shoulder being separated twice, or the detached retina, or any concussion. Nigel on the other hand, was very honest about his injuries, including a torn bicep that he didn't get worked on, he just rehabbed it. Nigel figured he was a lock and didn't see the need to lie.
WWE was concerned about Bryan's elevated liver enzymes, and wanted Nigel to get surgery on his bicep before they would sign him. Both guys were wrestling a farewell tour with ROH and both genuinely concerned they wouldn't actually be leaving. In their last match for ROH, Bryan accidentally gave Nigel a concussion, because apparently these guys only know how to wrestle at one speed!
Nigel couldn't afford the bicep surgery and his own doctor was telling him he is fine, so Nigel went to TNA instead. Nigel would only wrestle for another year before his body would break down too far on him and he would retire.
Bryan signed his WWE contract on October 2nd, 2009, nearly 10 years to the day of his debut match. William Regal actually told Bryan, "Your wrestling career came before this and is over now. Anything else that happens now is a bonus."
William Regal came up with the name "Daniel Bryan" for Bryan to use in WWE. Brian tried arguing to Laurinaitis to use his real name and citing John Cena as an example, Laurinaitis simply told Bryan, "We don't do that anymore."
In early 2010, Bryan and seven other guys were told one day about the NXT concept and how they would be used. Bryan found out who his NXT "pro" would be just like everyone else, when WWE posted it on their website. Bryan initially legit wanted Regal as his "pro" but soon realized being paired with Miz gives him a story immediately.
Bryan describes his time in NXT as the most unusual of his career. The "rookies" all legitimately didn't know what was going to happen on any show and everything they did was 100% unscripted and improvised.
The first night in NXT, all the "rookies" were told 15 minutes before the show, that their "pro" would cut a promo on them and they needed to react accordingly. Bryan had no idea that his pro, the Miz was going to tell him to head to the ring and cut a promo on himself, literally telling him on live TV to make the fans care about him. Bryan had no idea what to say, no real direction he was given to go in, and no tome to plan or rehearse. Miz also told him to come up with a catchphrase, and Bryan said he always hated catch phrases.
In the ring, Bryan cut a generic promo where he said he lost his train of thought and was super greatful when The Miz came out to finish the promo off. Bryan didn't know that would happen and Bryan definitely didn't know Miz was going to slap him at the end. Bryan says that later, The Miz confided to Bryan that he was worried Bryan would try to fight him over the slap.
Bryan credits Chris Jericho for getting him over in his first WWE match, and says that neither he, nor Miz knew that Miz was to beat up Brian after the match. Apparently, Miz was informed during the Jericho/Bryan match that he was to attack Bryan after the finish. Wild how much "flying by the seat of their pants" that WWE did with early NXT.
After the show, Jericho told Bryan that Vince was impressed, though he noted how Vince said, "Ugh, but he doesn't even eat meat!"
Bryan describes promo class with Vince as kinda insane to be honest. One time Bryan accidentally spilled a water bottle, and Vince asked everyone how that made them feel about Bryan. Stuff like that.
Bryan says the NXT rookies weren't allowed to use the regular dressing room and had to use some tarped off part of the backstage area.
Bryan notes how most of the NXT season, the NXT rookies never really knew what was going to happen. The 2nd week Bryan lost to Wade Barret and wasn't told that Chris Jericho would be attacking him after the match.
Bryan says his initial storyline with The Miz wasn't a losing streak idea, but something where each loss had meaning and was being built with purpose. Miz was very hands on with each show and helped to put over Bryan and the storyline, but when Miz missed 2 weeks in a row, the producers left in charge basically just turned it into a losing streak storyline, which Bryan says, "never works."
One time on a plane, Ezekiel Jackson asked "which rookie has an isle seat?" Bryan raised his had and Ezekiel said, "Not anymore." Bryan stood his ground and refused, offering his seat to anyone but Ezekiel. Ezekiel got pissed but William Regal came over and chastised Jackson, saying Bryan is like a son to him and how Bryan has more talent in his pinky ginger than Jackson has in his whole body.
Bryan says the NXT "Pros Polls" were legitimate voting done by the pros. That's why Bryan ended up in first place, despite losing every match.
A week after Wrestlemania in 2010, NXT's direction and purpose shifted away from being serious to silly, and Bryan says they were suddenly doing dumb game show competitions and putting over how demoralizing it was.
Bryan says Skip Shepfield (Ryback) was the only rookie taking the competitions seriously and trying to win each game. Sounds on brand for the big guy.
Bryan says he was trying to be humble when asked who should be eliminated and he said himself. He figured since he lost to everyone he didn't have a right to say any of them. Backstage Miz told him he made a mistake and shouldn't have put that perception out there.
A week later they liked the rookies up on TV (an hour before it goes live) and informed Bryan and fellow rookie Michael Tarver that they are both eliminated, without telling them beforehand. Bryan felt this validated all the warnings guys like Colt Cabana and other gave him about WWE.
Right after Matt Striker interviewed him backstage and when asked an insulting question, Bryan snapped and started talking down about "Daniel Bryan" and started to put over "Bryan Danielson!" Bryan says he could hear Vince screaming into Striker's ear piece and apparently Vince threw his headset when Bryan said his real name.
They made Bryan retape the interview without saying that, but still aired his original interview.
Bryan was surprisingly called back to NXT the following week to start a rivalry with Micheal Cole, who had been verbally obliterating Bryan on commentary since Bryan debuted. Bryan seems to be greatful for that program since it kept him on tv and made him confident that he would keep his job.
The RAW after NXT season 1 ended, all the rookies were pulled into Vince's office and told about Nexus and the attack in the main event. They were told not to tell anyone or else they will be fired. Bryan says he even lied to William Regal, when asked why he was dressed to wrestle.
They were supposed to attack John Cena and Rey Mysterio in the main event, because WWE let the fans vote on Cena's opponent and they assumed Rey would get it. Surprisingly it was CM Punk, and Bryan isn't sure how much Punk was told about the angle.
Bryan legit choked Justin Roberts during the melee, leaving red marks on his skin with his tie. Bryan said he doesn't trust non-wrestlers to sell good so he did it for real, with Justin going purple on Tv. Later during the brawl, Bryan was grabbing a cable to choke someone else when a cameraman told him "no choking!" Bryan does note that he thinks Justin Roberts found it pretty cool to be involved. And later Heath Slater grabbed the dismantled ring ropes to choke Cena, but Cena told him as well, "No choking."
Cena told Bryan before the angle, "It's not the hit you do that's important, it's what you do before the hit that matters." This is why Bryan spit in Cena's face before kicking him in the head.
Backstage, Bryan was reprimanded twice, for choking and spitting. Two days later Vince McMahon personally called Bryan to tell him he was let go and apologized to Bryan for it. Bryan, arrogant as all hell, responded with, "Don't apologize, I'll make more money this year on the independents than I would have working for you."
Bryan called John Laurinaitis to clear up details and Laurinaitis was shocked to hear Bryan was fired. Apparently Vince didn't tell anyone, just called Laurinaitis up and asked for Bryan's number. The comment Bryan made about money seemed to get to Vince since Laurinaitis called Bryan back and asked about it. Laurinaitis actually told Bryan that he can start working independent dates immediately if he wasn't on TV.
After working several shows and making good money off merchandise for several weeks, Bryan was shocked when John Laurinaitis called him in August and asked him to come back for a big angle leading into SummerSlam. Bryan sheepishly asked for a raise and made sure he could make all his already planned independent bookings.
Bryan says Nexas should have won at SummerSlam, noting how they went from dangerous to jobbers in one night.
Bryan remembers a taped RAW after SummerSlam where he did an angle with The Miz. When he got backstage Vince was so mad at how it came off that he made Bryan and others go back out there and do it again. It was the first time Bryan ever had to redo something like that and he said he felt humiliated.
Bryan didnt seem to see much value in being US Champion outside of how it would keep him on tv and maybe monthly ppv matches.
At Hell in a Cell 2010 ppv, Bryan had a good match with Miz and John Morrison, but was scolded after that match for a spot where Bryan threw Miz's stoog Alex Riley off the stage where he landed on cameraman. They showed the two guys the footage and accused them of doing it on purpose to get themselves over. Bryan started regretting coming back and really hating his time in WWE.
Bryan was paired with the Bella Twins in a storyline he hated, that was based on the Twins confusing the word "vegan" for "virgin" and competing to sleep with Bryan. Despite how bad that storyline was, Bryan and Brie would develop a relationship and would start dating in February 2011.
Sheamus was given a choice of Wrestlemania opponents that year between Rey Mysterio and Daniel Bryan, and Sheamus chose Bryan. Bryan was greatful but concerned Sheamus chose wrong and their match would be cut but Sheamus wasn't worried at all. A week before Mania they were informed their match was on the pre-show at a meeting with literally every other wrestler. Bryan says Sheamus buried his face in his hands and remembers how Rey Mysterio got on the card in a match with Cody Rhodes. Bryan says Sheamus picked the wrong guy.
Bryan got some details in his book messed up where he talks about Miz winning the WWE title off Cena at Wrestlemania 27 and he talks about how Miz was WWE Champion going into Over The Limit ppv 2011, but Miz lost the title by then. It's notable because he says he pitched hard for a "Rocky style" storyline where he would challenge Miz for the WWE title at the Over The Limit ppv.
Bryan says the 2011 Smackdown Money in the Bank winner wasn't decided until the day of the show but it was always between Wade Barret, Cody Rhodes and Bryan. He says despite winning the briefcase, his tv time tricked down and eventually he was spending weeks off tv, until he was randomly inserted into the World title program between Mark Henry and Big Show in late 2011.
Bryan was being left at home and off shows, even watching Survivor Series 2011 from home and was suprised when WWE had him come to the December TLC ppv show, last minute. The day of the show he was told he was cashing in and winning the title and the only direction Vince McMahon gave him was to act like he won the superbowl, so that's where Bryan's over the top celebration came from. He didn't even tell his girlfriend Brie Bella about the plan and says she was shocked when he came backstage afterwards.
The only direction Vince gave Bryan as champion is to celebrate every appearance like he won the lottery, saying, "there is no too over the top here."
Bryan said he adapted his "Yes" chants from MMA fighter Diego Sanchez who was celebrating in a similar way at the time.
Bryan's favorite moment from that first world title run was the closing sequence in the 2012 Elimination Chamber match with him and Santino Marella.
Bryan originally expected he and Sheamus to get 15 minutes or so at Wrestlemania for their match, but was shocked when Chris Jericho told him he heard it would be 8 minutes, including the pre & post match stuff. A week later Arn Anderson confirmed to Bryan that he would lose a 1-move match, dropping the world title to Sheamus at Wrestlemania that year. Bryan and Sheamus were both pissed, to say the least.
Sheamus expressed concern that the short match would turn fans against him as a new champion. Smart man.
Bryan says a bunch of guys came up to him after his Mania loss and were pissed at what they did to Bryan out there. Great Khali even came up and told Bryan that it was bullshit in his broken English.
Originally Sheamus was planned to move into a fued with Alberto Del-rio right after Mania, but the crazy crowd support for Bryan forced them to extend they story another month. Bryan says his Extreme Rules ppv match with Sheamus in 2012 is one of his favorites. Mine too!
Bryan acknowledged the weird booking of Punk as champion in 2012, noting how heels would face John Cena, lose, then be sent to face Punk with no momentum. Interesting take on the situation.
Bryan mentions how when he and Punk fueded in 2012, they never got main event spots outside of non-televised events. One time at a house show, Bryan and Punk veered too far into comedy and after the match John Cena chastised Bryan by pointing out that they didn't wrestle a "main event style" match. Apparently the next house show, Cena was moved into the main event spot with Punk/Bryan being before the intermission. An enraged Punk went and yelled at people until he got his main event spot back. This time, no comedy spots were done and they stayed the main event for the circuit.
Bryan had brand new, edgier gear made up prior to Money in the Bank 2012 and didn't tell anyone backstage. He wore shorts over his trunk and hid the jacket until he had to go out. When he got to the ring, the ref told him to lose the jacket, because I guess Vince was in gorilla position freaking out over how Bryan looked. Dean Melanko was the producer for the match, and Bryan felt bad when Vince blamed him for allowing Bryan to wear it.
Bryan was originally planned to wrestle Charlie Sheen at SummerSlam 2012 in a celebrity match, but Charlie "bailed" as Bryan put it.
Bryan was trying to be "Mr Small Package" by winning matches with Small Package and then boasting about how he has an "inescapable small package!" It didn't get over.
Bryan thought his anger management vignets with Kane and Dr Shelby were going to be terrible.
The only reason they stopped using Dr Shelby is because he had limited days off from his regular teaching job.
Bryan and Kane really wanted their team name to be "Team Friendship" and they even had shirt ideas but Vince let the fans vote and he always kept those votes legit, so their team name was "Team Hell No" which Bryan brings up a good point about. He said as a team primarily appealing to kids, a name with "Hell" in it would be hard to sell merchandise to those kids.
The plan was to break up their team so they could have a good heated fued together, but they were so popular that they kept teaming for 9 months.
Bryan says his first good Wrestlemania experience was in 2013 when he teamed with Kane.
One night after Mania in 2013, when Bryan tagged with Kane and Undertaker to face The Shield, Vince McMahon told Bryan that he would pay him several thousand dollars if he could get Undertaker to hug Bryan in the ring. After the show Bryan got on the mic and tried his hardest to get the hug but couldn't quite do it.
Bryan says that both he and Kane agree that teaming together was some of the most fun in either man's career.
Bryan was scheduled to win the biggest match of his career up to that point, he would be beating Randy Orton clean on RAW. Bryan would botch a dive that left both arms nunb and him unable to stand. He got feeling back in one arm but eventually the doctor called the match off. Backstage Bryan started screaming at Triple H for calling the match and called him a hypocrite for doing so, citing his own injuries in matches. At one point Orton tried to calm Bryan down, but Bryan snapped at him and Orton started yelling too. Brie got Bryan away to calm down, but when Vince came to talk to Bryan, the shouting started again. Much later, William Regal advised Bryan to apologize to both Vince and Triple H, to which Bryan took his advice. The next week, Bryan would get his win over Orton and he says that that drama over everything made that win matter more.
An MRI showed that one of Bryan's disks was pushing into his nerves and eventually he would need surgery. With his momentum starting to rise, Bryan opted to put surgery off.
John Cena pitched facing Daniel Bryan at Money in the Bank 2013 ppv. When Vince asked why, Cena said because it's the biggest match they could do at that time. Vince ended up agreeing, but deciding that it belongs at SummerSlam that year instead!
As proud as Bryan is of the build to and match with Cena at SummerSlam, he acknowledges that the ppv didn't do good numbers, nor did the house show business the following 2 months when Bryan was the main protagonist. He thinks a lot the the Authority promos on him stemmed from some truth.
Bryan isn't satisfied with the quality of matches he was putting out in the latter half of 2013 amd he specifically calls out the series of bad finishes he had with Randy Orton in ppv main events. From the fast counting crooked ref, to that terrible one with Big Show knocking everyone out, and then to Shawn Michaels betraying Bryan at Hell in a Cell ppv.
Bryan initially thought he was getting a Wrestlemania match with Shawn Michaels after that Hell in a Cell finish, but after talking with HBK, it was clear that was never in the cards.
Bryan feels he failed as a main eventer in the 2nd half of 2013, regardless of match quality. He didn't move business and that's all that matters.
The Slammy's were fan votes and Vince didn't think Bryan would win and almost laughed when Bryan asked him what he should say if he does win. Vince said, "whatever you want." I wish I could have seen Vince's face when Bryan won later that night.
When Bryan started fueding with Wyatt Family in late-2013, Bryan was pitching for him to be "brainwashed" and join the group. He suspects that his rising popularity in early 2014 is what convinced WWE to have Bryan turn on Bray and leave the group. At the time, Bryan was hoping to stay with the group and be involved in the planned Cena/Wyatt Wrestlemania program since Bryan had no plans for Mania at that time.
Bryan says he was disappointed when Vince told him he would be facing Sheamus again at Wrestlemania 2014. No disrespect to Sheamus, but Bryan felt he belonged in a higher spot.
Bryan felt bad for the way Rey Mysterio was boo'd at the 2014 Royal Rumble.
When Punk quit WWE after Rumble that year, Bryan remembers how plans didn't change too much for a few weeks, and he assumes Vince expected Punk to come back and for Batista to win the crowds over, and neither happened.
Triple H was being vocal about wanting to face Bryan at Mania that year, but Bryan was trying to not get his hopes up since he had seen Triple H try and fail to get his ideas on screen.
Bryan and Brie only agreed to let Total Divas shoot their wedding, because Total Divas agreed to pay for the whole wedding! Hard to say no to that!
Bryan is very satisfied with his matches at Wrestlemania 30 and says he was so focused between matches that he missed Undertaker losing to Lesnar. He heard the ring bell and looked up at the monitor in shock. He says they cameras should have filmed the guys and girls in the back because their reactions were wild, apparently.
Five days after Wrestlemania 30, Bryan and Brie got married, but 2 days after their honeymoon ended, Bryan's dad unexpectedly passed away at the age of 57. Bryan was devastated and described how he was crying still as he was writing about it.
The book ends on a complete downer, very unlike most other wrestling books. Bryan says that as long as he wrestled when asked if everything he was missing or sacrificing was worth it, Bryan always said yes. He assumed he would have more time when he was done and could catch up on what he missed, but his dad is gone and Bryan openly admits that it wasn't worth it. If he could, Bryan would change a lot of his decisions if it meant more time with his dad.
He says he is still wrestling though because he literally doesn't know what else to do or what comes after. This is especially depressing 10 years later, when Bryan is still wrestling despite having started a family of his own. I hope he doesn't regret any time missed with his daughter.
He ends the book by describing the last time he saw his dad, on Christmas in 2013, where his dad dressed up as Santa. Fuck. I'm sad now.

Among the tech blogs that I follow for my day job is a legal tech blog that featured this today:
May 10, 2024 ~Read Online~ 194 ChatGPT wants to make you horny?! Brainyacts #194 It’s Friday.
Let’s get to it.
Lead Memo~ AI Trend: Apps for matchmaking, platonic friendships, managing motions, and getting horny
In today’s Brainyacts: To read previous editions, click ~here~. Whitney Wolfe Herd, the founder of Bumble, has proposed that the future of dating could lie in the hands of artificial intelligence. According to her, AI agents could act as "dating concierges," interacting with each other to assess compatibility and recommend potential matches, saving users time and effort. How Bumble Will Use AI to Create Healthier Relationships This unique approach has sparked a lively debate, with some welcoming the idea as a time-saving solution for finding quality connections, while others question the authenticity and effectiveness of such a system. As the world of dating continues to evolve, the role of AI in our romantic lives remains a topic of fascination and speculation. I thought I would share a sampling of the spectrum of AI apps related to relationships - fake or real.
Dating? As I shared above, why not have your AI self message their AI self first to see if the real you should even bother with the real them? Huh? Well, it sorta makes sense. Here is more on Bumble’s ~AI-dating concierges~ that will message each other on a human’s behalf. ~Related apps:~ ~https://nomi.ai/~ - an AI companion with memory and a soul~https://kindroid.ai/~ - an AI friend with a voice, looks, and personality~https://replika.ai/~ - an AI companion who cares
Fighting? Ok, so we may already be in a relationship but struggling to get along or understand each other. Meet ~Angry Girlfriend~ - an AI-powered relationship simulator that walks straight men through gamified versions of common conflicts with wives and girlfriends. For a peek inside the experience, follow along with ~Nick Rishwain as he interacts with the app~. Others like ~Relish~ analyze communication patterns to give couples personalized relationship advice. ~Maia~ helps couples work through fights, have conversations, and find date night ideas.
Horny? Yup, it happens and ~OpenAI~ is exploring how to 'responsibly' make AI erotica and porn

Thursday, May 09 Good morning! The S&P 500 finished flat after Wednesday's trading as the Dow notched its sixth straight day of gains. AI reality check: UK chip designer Arm Holdings fell around 7% in after-hours trading after the company delivered lower-than-expected full-year revenue guidance. It's a reality check for investors of the company, known for designing chips for phones, that a potential AI windfall may not be right around the corner. The stock, which had been up well over 100% earlier this year, lost some of its sheen earlier in April when fellow AI stocks Super Micro and ASML also reported disappointing results. It's now up around 50% year to date. ‌
Fedspeak evens out: A day after Neel Kashkari reiterated his view that, despite a favorable April jobs report, interest rates should stay higher for longer, Boston Fed president Susan Collins seconded the sentiment. This brings the week's tally roughly equal after Monday saw New York Fed president John Williams and Richmond Fed president Thomas Barkin offering more dovish commentary. ‌
A bullish GDP call: The Atlanta Fed's GDPNow tool indicated projections of 4.2% economic growth for the second quarter — a substantial increase from the 3.3% forecast made less than a week ago and far more than the 1.6% from the first quarter's official GDP read. Another sign that the economy remains robust despite the current interest rates. ‌
The app economy takes a hit: A few key disrupter tech middlemen had a tough Wednesday. Internet point-of-sale middleman Shopify fell nearly 20% after reporting disappointing revenue and guidance, Uber fell 8% on a surprise net loss and weak guidance, and Airbnb's underwhelming forecast caused it to slide 7%. It wasn't all bad, though: Investors applauded Reddit's first quarterly report and Robinhood's second straight profit — driven by crypto. ‌
Thursday's reports: Besides monitoring weekly initial jobless claims, we'll be watching for quarterly results from Roblox, Warner Bros. Discovery, Dropbox, Planet Fitness, Papa John's, YETI, Constellation Energy, and Yelp. What we're watching Morning Brief is written and edited by Ethan Wolff-Mann. For the web version, click here. Follow all the action throughout the day on Yahoo Finance and on the Yahoo Finance app. ️ Tesla slides on report of DOJ probe. ‌ Rivian reports mixed Q1 results but trims capex forecast and sees Q4 'gross profit.' ‌ Biden makes a Wisconsin stop to tout AI — and troll Trump's Foxconn flop. ‌
Apple’s iPad event was an AI teaser for its future. ‌ Toyota issues muted profit forecast following blowout 2024 results.‌ Wall Street is focused on the national debt, but presidential candidates are less so. ‌ These 3 stocks are poised to benefit from the massive energy transition. ‌ Reddit stock rises after first quarterly report on higher-than-expected earnings forecast, AI hopes. ‌ US chip manufacturing capacity projected to triple by 2032, fueled by CHIPS Act: Industry leader. ‌ Oil steadies on surprise inventory drop, but futures still down 8% from April peak. What we're reading
Working with a financial advisor can be an effective way to save and plan for retirement. While advisors may charge for their service, did you know their fees may be negotiable? Learn more. AD • SPONSORED BY SMART ASSETAre Financial Advisor Fees Tax-Deductable? Today's Takeaway is by Hamza Shaban, Senior Reporter. ‌ ‌ A fresh Big Tech boomlet has arrived. ‌ Shareholders aren't just seeing their stock prices swell, they are getting paid too. The dividend, its importance demoted over the past couple of decades by the tech boom, is having a moment again thanks in part to the same companies that made it passé. ‌ In February, Meta initiated a dividend, and Alphabet followed in April. And then came an increase from Apple last week. ‌ But why are tech companies initiating payouts, and why now? ‌ The dividend trend reflects the double role that tech giants hold in society and on Wall Street. They want to be perceived as growth engines, obsessed with frontier tech and fixated on reshaping the future. But they are also mature, cash-rich companies with market caps that start with a "T." ‌
The former fledglings are now apex predators, seasoned with decades of experience balancing new investments with their core business, which happens to be expanding to virtually every domain of life. ‌ Startup versions of these companies would scoff at the idea of paying back a dividend. It suggests their growth days are behind them, that executives don't have a vision for how to deploy their resources. But in this post-pandemic, pre-AI moment, Big Tech wants to prove they can do two things at once: build the infrastructure to dominate the coming era and show investors they have the fiscal discipline and confidence to return value consistently. ‌ That the recent wave of dividend announcements has come alongside disclosures of ballooning AI spending reinforces the dual message. ‌ But it also reflects a reenergized corporate America that has shaken off fears of the recession that never was.
Earnings are rising and with it are massive stock buybacks. The recent wave of repurchases, including Apple's record-breaking $110 billion plan, is the largest sum of buybacks since 2018. ‌ "These companies have seen record profits for some time now and are finding value in passing that profit to shareholders rather than capex," said Alex McGrath, chief investment officer at NorthEnd Private Wealth. "Not to say they are not still heavily investing in growth, but the cash flow has now reached a point where this begins to make sense." ‌ Shareholder payouts, even modest ones from the tech companies, also grant them entry into funds that require a dividend. They are broadening their pool of investors, drawing from portfolios that seek steady income from dividends and people who simply want to see the "number go up" on their brokerage accounts. ‌ It was the staggering gains of internet companies that played a part in making the dividend seem stodgy and antiquated.
Top members of the "Dividend Aristocrats" come from the consumer staples and industrials sectors. When you typically think of dividends, you're disconnected from ideas of rapid growth, more risk, and big gains. ‌ But the mega tech companies have changed. And so has what a dividend company looks like. Just look at Mark Zuckerberg's glow up. ‌ "If they keep the money internally, there is a tendency to have waste. By paying it out, it instills discipline," said Jennifer Koski, professor of finance at the Foster School of Business at the University of Washington, who has been teaching dividend cases for the Big Tech companies since before Microsoft initiated its own in 2003. "The AI spending is their signal we still do have growth opportunities." ‌ In a sign of where things are headed, Koski is planning to teach her next payout policy case. This time, on Amazon.
Big Tech is embracing a hallmark of pre-internet stocks The stock market's rebound from a rough April has been led by some of the most unloved sectors over the past year — the ones that typically outperform when the economy is in a downturn. ‌ This was again the case on Wednesday, with Utilities rising about 0.9% compared to the S&P 500's near-flat return. ‌ Since April 16, around when the S&P 500 hit its recent bottom, Utilities has led the charge, rising nearly 12% and accounting for all of the sector's gains year to date. Consumer Staples has risen almost 5% in that same period. ‌ While these stocks are often tabbed with the phrase "defensive," referencing their outperformance amid sub-par economic performance, Wall Street equity strategists told Yahoo Finance a catch-up trade is the most likely reason for the surge, not recent weaker-than-expected economic data. ‌
Considering both sectors had been among the worst performers in the S&P 500 over the last year, Truist co-chief investment officer Keith Lerner reasoned there's an aspect of the move that is merely investors rotating into an area that has yet to participate much in the recent market rally.
Chart of the day "With markets up so much as we're up since October, people get nervous," Lerner told Yahoo Finance. "They want to rotate into something a little more defensive, take some profit taking ... It's also just saying, 'Hey, what hasn't worked and what could have an opportunity to do some catching up or hold up better should the market correct?'" ‌ Charles Schwab senior investment strategist Kevin Gordon concurred. ‌ "Things had gotten so pessimistic for [Utilities] and you know, in turn, and relatedly, kind of making it more attractively valued for anyone who's looking for deeper value," Gordon told Yahoo Finance. ‌ — Josh Schafer, Markets Reporter

Game Information

Game Title: Animal Well
Platforms:

• PlayStation 5 (May 9, 2024)
• Nintendo Switch (May 9, 2024)
• PC (May 9, 2024)

Trailer:

• ANIMAL WELL - Release Date Trailer

Developer: Billy Basso
Publisher: Bigmode
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 89 average - 100% recommended - 26 reviews

Critic Reviews

But Why Tho? - Charles Hartford - 9 / 10

Animal Well delivers a gorgeous art style paired with unique gameplay and an uncompromising vision

CGMagazine - Jordan Biordi - 9 / 10

Animal Well kept me captivated from start to finish and long after. Fans of Metroid-likes NEED to play this.

COGconnected - Jaz Sagoo - 80 / 100

Animal Well is a refreshing twist on the Metroidvania formula. Its tight platforming and clever puzzles make each exhilarating trek to distinct regions a blast. Although the retro-inspired art direction and odd presentation may not resonate with everyone, the originality and charm that imbues the game make this trip to the absurd a must for fans of the genre.

Checkpoint Gaming - Omi Koulas - 8.5 / 10

Uncover secrets, evade dangers, and embark on an eerie journey in ANIMAL WELL. Billy Basso has crafted a dark neon aesthetic and enigmatic gameplay that delivers a Metroidvania unlike many others. The mystery and cryptic puzzles won't be for everyone, but those who enjoy a challenge and a good platformer will be rewarded with a haunting adventure.

Destructoid - Jamie Sharp - 10 / 10

It’s one I’m grateful I experienced knowing so little, and urge anyone else sitting on the fence to wholeheartedly embrace until the darkness and biologically fueled light sources of its world envelop you in your beautiful, if slightly chilly, new home.

Digital Trends - Giovanni Colantonio - 4 / 5

Animal Well's deep secrets and arresting atmosphere will suck you down the rabbit hole.

DualShockers - Sam Woods - 9.2 / 10

Animal Well is sure to be one of 2024's surprise hits. It's Metroidvania gameplay plays second fiddle to a seemingly endless mystery

Eurogamer - Christian Donlan - 5 / 5

Explore a bright vision of subterranean nature in this astonishingly rich Metroidvania.

Game Informer - Charlie Wacholz - 9 / 10

Teeming with life, secrets, and charm that surprise and delight, Animal Well held my full, undivided attention

GameSpot - Richard Wakeling - 9 / 10

Animal Well delights with its non-traditional approach to Metroidvanias, combining unique items with a reactive and surreal world that's full of surprises.

GamesRadar+ - Jon Bailes - 4.5 / 5

Without giving anything away, it suffices to say that this rabbit hole goes a long way down, and if Animal Well is a Metroidvania, it's so much more besides.

Hardcore Gamer - James Cunningham - 4.5 / 5

Animal Well is a stunner of a metroidvania, usually charming but frequently creepy, mysterious but by no means unapproachable, and filled from top to bottom with secrets that are always satisfying to uncover.

Hobby Consolas - Alberto Lloret - Spanish - 92 / 100

Animal Well is one of the most interesting indie games that has been released so far in 2024.

IGN - Rebekah Valentine - 9 / 10

Animal Well is a beautiful, multi-layered puzzle box that’s both fun to simply play around with, and an utter delight to slowly crack open, secret by secret.

Nintendo Life - Nile Bowie - 10 / 10

Developer Shared Memory's stated goal is "to craft complete experiences that will be playable long after the world loses its internet connection," and screen after screen, Animal Well excels in delighting your eyes and giving your brain something to stew on. It's a riposte against a culture of post-launch updates in favour of a meticulously crafted, singular vision with potentially years' worth of discoveries baked in. By all indications, Animal Well delivers on that long-term promise and does so with a one-of-a-kind elegance.

NintendoWorldReport - Willem Hilhorst - 8.5 / 10

Even though it drops a few balls while juggling all these mechanics together, such as the boss battles. Still, ANIMAL WELL is a brilliantly put together game that I'd highly recommend to anyone who wants to get lost in a small but intricately designed game. I am quite convinced that both designers and players will be delving down deeper into this well over the coming years.

PC Gamer - Shaun Prescott - 90 / 100

A sleep-destroying puzzle metroidvania of baffling depth, Animal Well may go down in history as one of the genre's best.

PCGamesN - Lauren Bergin - 8 / 10

Despite its confusing fast travel system and misbehaving yo-yo, Animal Well is a bizarre yet brilliant neon-bathed adventure, characterized by tricky puzzles, intense platforming, and a host of cute animals - almost all of which are out to kill you.

PSX Brasil - Victor Vitório - Portuguese - 85 / 100

Animal Well is stunning and mysterious, a visual treat that offers open-ended and thought-provoking exploration. The total lack of explanations may put off part of the audience, but those who are willing to see how deep the iceberg, or rather the pit, goes, will have a lot to enjoy in this surrealist metroidvania.

Push Square - Stephen Tailby - 8 / 10

Animal Well is an extremely rewarding game — if you're willing to lose yourself in it. The sort of mysteries it's hiding go well beyond finding collectibles, giving you a rich and detailed world to unpack. If you have the patience and the curiosity, it's absolutely worth plumbing its depths.

Rock, Paper, Shotgun - Edwin Evans-Thirlwell - Unscored

A gorgeous and immensely absorbing metroidvania platformer that is both easy to get into and dense with secrets.

Shacknews - TJ Denzer - 8 / 10

Animal Well is one of the strangest metroidvanias I’ve played in a lot of very good ways. It’s pretty, funny, and scary in its atmospheric visuals and audio. Its platforming is also very satisfying and makes you feel good when you figure out how to use your tools properly to solve a puzzle. There are also secrets a plenty and a post-game to explore, as well. It's also just interesting to me that you don't directly fight with enemies and instead use your tools to work around them. The main double-edged sword here is the complete lack of context and hand-holding, which makes Animal Well charming and mysterious, but can make it difficult to keep track of what you were doing or where you should be going next. Nonetheless, if you want a solid and quirky adventure that will put your reflexes and puzzle-solving to the test, Animal Well is an absolutely fascinating journey.

Skill Up - Ralph Panebianco - Unscored

Video Review - Quote not available

TechRaptor - Andrew Stretch - 10 / 10

Animal Well is a game that promised platforming and puzzles and has managed to absolutely nail both in execution. Platforming fans will have an enjoyable time reaching the credits and will be content to set it down while puzzle gamers will be enamored by the depth that Animal Well has been able to achieve. You won't get more satisfied by a game solving puzzles like these.

TheGamer - Eric Switzer - 5 / 5

This is a game best played alongside friends who can go in without any expectations and work through obstacles together. Don’t expect to be able to solve everything on your own, but at the same time, do everything you can not to ask for help. If you can be comfortable with contradictions like that, you’ll find a lot to love in Animal Well.

Wccftech - Kai Tatsumoto - 8.6 / 10

Animal Well is a fantastic breakout title from both a new developer and publishing studio. Fans of Fez and Tunic will feel right at home jumping into this well.

The series is amazing, with a very intriguing premise, good pacing for the most part, and a very bittersweet ending. Now maybe I missed some details so forgive me, but there were so many plot points and ideas that could've used more time getting into, or at least got explanations, like:
Why is Cal older? Where did Zeke get his powers, and why was he the only one? Why did the public and police not care about passengers outside after the Isolation Protocol? Why the tailfin out of all plane parts? Why was Zeke able to communicate with Michaela after death? If Callings are memories, did all the passengers have experiences with dead people like Mick and Zeke, or some other way, and what/how? Why is the Death Date different from their disappearance date, like the meth heads, Zeke and Griffin? If Cal can project himself to passengers, like Angelina does, why didn't he project himself to Ben, Mick and TJ if they made discoveries, or even just to say hi? Who exactly was the shadow taking the souls, and why were others spared from Angelina's dark fog, unlike Jace's who dragged his two cohorts? What was the significance to the big hole in the ground near the barn where Cal found Fiona? What's with all the passenger deaths in the first season, and why did they stop being a thing?
And that's just off the top of my head.
The most importante question I have: don't their facilities and buildings not have security cameras? They seem to navigate around military and government buildings without much trouble lol. ----------------‐------------------- Also, the last few episodes didn't really have a sense of urgency. The Death Date is fast approaching, there are random volcanoes spawning everwhere, and many civilians are dead because of the fissures, but sure, let's focus on Mick's lovelife. They could've at least shown the government's reaction to the apocalypse.
So far, it's a 6/10 for me.

Was on a GG rewatch and I was wondering why I love Jess as a character so much - and I realised only now that he's the only one who develops outside of his relationship with Rory too so the viewers get reasons to actually care about the character, and not just about whether he's good enough for Rory.
(I wanted to keep it separate from shipping Jess x Rory because while I did ship them right from their first scene together, I ALSO agree with a lot of comments about the problematic bits of their relationship.)

• Dean is the boyfriend that's the most generic, tbh. He doesn't exist outside of his relationship with Rory and once he's officially out of the picture [post his divorce] - we don't hear anything about him. And in those 4-5 seasons too he doesn't get any sub-plots - not even the silly town stories, even though he works for Taylor and goes to the same school as Lane and is also the only boyfriend that gets along with Lorelai lol.
• Logan gets a better treatment than Dean but not by a lot. The Life and Death Brigade is something Logan had that was entirely his - but we mostly see it pop up when it concerns Rory like the first time when she was investigating it. Logan's given friends that we actually meet multiple times but again, there's no sub-plot here unless Rory is involved. Logan's relationship with his parents is mentioned every once in a while but there's no subplot that deals with it and there isn't much development on this whole aspect. The most standout scenes again involve Rory - Mitchum criticising Rory's skills, the mom looking down on Rory because she's a Gilmore and they're Huntzbergers, and eventually, Rory berating Mitchum causing him to visit Logan at the hospital.
• Jess, meanwhile, is even introduced separately - and not as part of Rory's plot. He's brought in as Luke's nephew, Luke's sister being irresponsible and a bad parent, Luke figuring out how to raise a 17 year old, etc. He meets Lorelai before he meets Rory. And then immediately has a fallout. We see his reaction to Stars Hollow [this is hell]. We realise he's been pulling pranks on the townsfolk. Him and Rory flirting happens at the end of his first episode. And even during his relationship with Rory he continues to have smaller subplots. His troubles at school and him working at Walmart - these things aren't brought up in front of Rory [till he leaves]. His dad turning up and him going to meet him - isn't brought up with Rory or Lorelai. Any of his smaller moments with Luke - of which there are many [him pushing Luke to date, pulling his leg, etc.]. Even after his breakup with Rory, he turns up multiple times in relation with Liz and TJ and his character is allowed to develop even further, with him healing from his childhood and making peace with Liz + him thanking Luke and paying him back. I guess the benefit Jess's character gets is also hugely because it also affects Luke and allows Luke to develop - and Luke is the other important character in the story outside of the Gilmores.

But this makes me care about Jess so much more. I want to root for Jess and want him to make something of his life and want him and Luke to get closer. And it makes it heartwarming to see that he grows up and finds success in spite of the entire town trying to throw him out & him dropping out of school etc. + it's validation for Luke too.
This is also why I personally dislike the way we left Jess in AYITL - with him looking longingly at Rory. I love that Jess, even after the break up with Rory, continues to impact Rory's life in MAJOR ways [dropping out of Yale, the idea of writing the book]. But by the end of all this, I care about Jess as a character too, and not just in terms of Rory. I'd have preferred it if they'd just cut after he says he's over Rory - or if there was some indication of romantic feelings on Rory's end too so that there's hope for Jess lmao. As it stands, though, we've now seen Rory reject the thought of being with Jess multiple times now [when he shows up at Yale, and when she goes to Philly but isn't able to cheat on Logan] while Jess is still in love with her :( which just feels TOO sad and tragic. Even Dean was allowed to move on lol.
Rambled a lot sorry.
TL;DR: Jess is the only one of Rory's boyfriends that develops over the show, and therefore making ME care about him but then we end with him still being in love with Rory with no indication of Rory still having romantic feelings for Jess which breaks my heart.

I don't know how this happened. I(f19 when we met) met C in March 2021 (m31 when we met) after an attempt and went to this live-in facility that housed people in help who don't feel safe at home. I didn't intend on being in another toxic relationship but alas chaos follows. At first we were just friends but then he confessed his feelings and I did the same. It first started with me asking how old he was, whether he was married or in a relationship, talked about our disabilities, and just watched movies. Nothing wrong with that until he kissed me one day and it was like we were inseparable. we left the facility the same day and he met my family, i showed him my parents home, he agreed to meet my brother who's locked up, he protected me, took me on dates, bought me presents, and basically acted like a good bf. Nothing out of the ordinary until we started dating a month or two when he went to Mexico. That's when our problems really started, I just thought it was my delusions or my insecurities, just something that would make sense why I felt like he was cheating. Turns out around the same time he slept with another woman, who later became pregnant. He came back and then went back to TJ and I saw him a total of maybe two or three times. He was never on his phone or anything, he would send me pictures of HER house and tell me it was his "favorite aunts" house. cue the roll eye. He built a house saying it was for "us", how he wanted us to have girls, he became obsessed with the idea of me getting pregnant for him and would heavily talk bad about boys. He has a son. Not to mention when we first dated he was talking about his ex who used him and how she's a b and how awful she was. Thinking back on it, he was probably talking about his girlfriend. I truly thought I was gonna marry this grown adult man. I learned about his two year old literally 2 days ago and it's been on my brain every second because how could someone do all this to someone they impregnated? How can a man just act all lovey-dovey with me and then turn around and sleep with another woman and plan their wedding? Why not just break up with me if you got a kid like???
Now onto why I ask for advice, what do I do now that I know? How do I move on? How do I stop the horrible feeling of me being at fault? Any help is appreciated bc i still havent told her anything and I've never been out in a position where it's a family yk?

I often look at TJ Maxx/Marshalls to try to find things like BR Vernix, which I once found there. Now I am like a dog who finds a treat in the bushes, I cannot not look there now.
Any other sites that have this kind of high end, not expired but maybe discontinued luxe items? I have tried many cool things for a steep discount from TJ Maxx online, and am looking for more online options. (By the way they have BR creme dermopurifiante right now, late expiry date, and for $79, not the greatest discount, but...) I am also preparing for after Vernix is reformulated, and hoping to find the old version online again. And for a while I was hunting hard for an old skinceuticals product and could not find it anywhere.
Thank you! Also adding, I have gotten three fakes on Mercari and am no longer willing to go that route, even though sometimes it is real re-sellers.

So I’m gonna explain this whole relationship just because I want some advice or anything. We started off dating for a few months and doing lots of activities. Enjoying time together and having a great time, then I joined the Marine Corps. We had a baby boy who is now 7 months but I’ve only been here for about 3 of those months.They recently moved to where I’m at a couple months ago. She’s a stay at home mom but likes to wait for my days off to do things together like clean up the house, take garbage out, my time to take care of our little man, cook (sometimes), train our 4 month old puppy, ect. Before anything is said, I do as much as I can when I work but I work 14-15 hours the days I work. Just recently I bought her a car so she has something if she needs to go somewhere. So I pay for damn near everything aside from when she gets money here and there from her family. 2 car payments, dog stuff, our groceries, just everything. So I / we have no money to be going and doing things. Today she asked if we could go to tj maxx ect to go out and do something, I informed her for about the 20th time that we are broke and have absolutely no money. So she said right away “you’re boring” and kind of gave me a look.

Another new-ish (they're likely already on YouTube) hour of Adult Swim SMALLS shorts for your amusement and or befuddlement.
Sucks to be the Moon synopsis:

Jealous of the Sun's stardom, the Moon bails into space in search of a planet that actually cares about him. Will he find his place in the universe, or is he destined to be a lonely loser forever?

Variety Pack #2 synopsis:

This Adult Swim SMALLS Variety Pack features work from Samantha Lane, Felipe Di Poi and Chloe Troast.

Camp Bucktooth/Buster & TJ synopsis:

Camp Bucktooth and Buster & TJ are two made-in-Atlanta cartoons, one set in a dysfunctional summer camp, the other following two blobs who always ruin the whole day for everyone.

The Quarry synopsis:

Karl asks Penny on a date and puts his job on the line.

Tonight (4/26) from 12:00 to 1:00. Repeat of the hour of SMALLS they showed last August from 1:00 to 2:00. There was supposed to be a pilot created by Conner O'Malley and friends at 2:00 but that got pulled. On Max eventually?

TL;DR: Interactive spreadsheets functioning as checklists to scratch your Stardew Valley completionist itch, fully updated with 1.6 info. The link below is to a folder containing the files:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1vk23YmYtXv3plTJ_3RBZ8xJyI0R3kBhy?usp=sharing
Hello farming friends! I'm excited to finally present to you: this completionist checklist spreadsheet, updated with all the new 1.6 info! Both the Vanilla spreadsheet and the Modded spreadsheet have been fully updated. I also made a few other changes, like revamping the Golden Walnut Perfection tracker, and tweaking some smaller stuff. There's a changelog in the folder if you're interested in the full list! All information for mods in the spreadsheet should be up-to-date as of 04/24/24, although I can't guarantee they will all be fully compatible with 1.6.
I will also be leaving the previous files in the folder until the 1.6 update has rolled out for all platforms, so anyone who doesn't have 1.6 yet can still use them without spoilers.
As always, if you notice any errors or anything missing, please feel free to let me know! This was such a big update, I definitely won't be surprised if some things got overlooked.
So I hope you find this helpful, and may Yoba bless you and your farm!
-Rytsuko-

TL;DR: Interactive spreadsheets functioning as checklists to scratch your Stardew Valley completionist itch, fully updated with 1.6 info. The link below is to a folder containing the files:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1vk23YmYtXv3plTJ_3RBZ8xJyI0R3kBhy?usp=sharing
Hello farming friends! I'm excited to finally present to you: this completionist checklist spreadsheet, updated with all the new 1.6 info! Both the Vanilla spreadsheet and the Modded spreadsheet have been fully updated. I also made a few other changes, like revamping the Golden Walnut Perfection tracker, and tweaking some smaller stuff. There's a changelog in the folder if you're interested in the full list! All information for mods in the spreadsheet should be up-to-date as of 04/24/24, although I can't guarantee they will all be fully compatible with 1.6.
I will also be leaving the previous files in the folder until the 1.6 update has rolled out for all platforms, so anyone who doesn't have 1.6 yet can still use them without spoilers.
As always, if you notice any errors or anything missing, please feel free to let me know! This was such a big update, I definitely won't be surprised if some things got overlooked.
So I hope you find this helpful, and may Yoba bless you and your farm!
-Rytsuko-

TL;DR: Interactive spreadsheets functioning as checklists to scratch your Stardew Valley completionist itch, fully updated with 1.6 info. The link below is to a folder containing the files:
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1vk23YmYtXv3plTJ_3RBZ8xJyI0R3kBhy?usp=sharing
Hello farming friends! I'm excited to finally present to you: this completionist checklist spreadsheet, updated with all the new 1.6 info! Both the Vanilla spreadsheet and the Modded spreadsheet have been fully updated. I also made a few other changes, like revamping the Golden Walnut Perfection tracker, and tweaking some smaller stuff. There's a changelog in the folder if you're interested in the full list! All information for mods in the spreadsheet should be up-to-date as of 04/24/24, although I can't guarantee they will all be fully compatible with 1.6.
I will also be leaving the previous files in the folder until the 1.6 update has rolled out for all platforms, so anyone who doesn't have 1.6 yet can still use them without spoilers.
As always, if you notice any errors or anything missing, please feel free to let me know! This was such a big update, I definitely won't be surprised if some things got overlooked.
So I hope you find this helpful, and may Yoba bless you and your farm!
-Rytsuko-

Live Music and Events

• Jim Lamb, Mill Top Tavern, 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Bret Blackshear, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Yael Dray and ZaZa Flamenca, The Cellar Upstairs Wine Bar & Restaurant, 1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Chris McNeil, Pierre's Pub, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Vinny Jacobs, Hurricane Grill & Wings, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Joe Downing, Guy Harvey Resort, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Dewey Via, Marina Munch, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Trevor Compton, St. Augustine Shores Golf Club, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Highwater Honky, Colonial Oak Music Park, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• Ivan Smith, Casa de Vino 57, 7:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Ramona the Duo, Chez L'Amour, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm

Boozin' on the Boulevard

• Boozin' on the Boulevard takes guests on a hop-on hop-off service to some of the local restaurants on Anastasia Island.
• This bar crawl begins at Kaiser's Deli & Market and Sogno Restaurant from 5:00 to 6:00 p.m. Guests will then be taken to Blackfly and Odd Birds Cocktail Lounge and Kitchen from 6:00 to 7:00 p.m. The tour will end at Candlelight South at 8:00 p.m.
• Each eatery will have food and drink specials — individuals must purchase a drink first from Kaiser's or Sogno Restaurant to receive a wristband. This band enables entry onto the Old Town Connect bus — a free transportation service for participants.
• Admission: Food and drink prices vary at each establishment. Transportation is provided by Old Town Connect once a drink is purchased at Kaiser's Deli or Sogno Restaurant.
• When: Every Thursday from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m. Note: Dates and times could be adjusted based on the number of sign-ups.
• Where: Starts at Kaiser's Deli & Market at 4 White Street East, St. Augustine, Florida 32080.

Uptown Block Party

• On the last Thursday of every month, many of the Uptown shops along San Marco Avenue, stay open past their normal closing time for the St. Augustine Uptown Block Party.
• The Uptown neighborhood of shops and eateries begins at Grove Avenue and stretches north to the roundabout. The area has shops filled with funky and vintage items, home decor, jewelry, antiques, clothing, art, and eateries offering food and drink from coffee to beer and from cupcakes to elevated dining and small plate fare.
• On the last Thursday of each month, from 5:00 to 9:00 p.m., many of these shops will remain open and invite people to shop, visit, and enjoy food and drink as well as live music. Spinster Abbott's, at 61 San Marco will host live music and an outdoor block party.
• Participating businesses are subject to change, and can include: Spinster Abbott's, Sunday Gathering Table, Jenna Alexander Studio, Ink and Barley, Juniper Market, Declaration & Co., Snake Bird Vintage, Crafts Without Borders, Materialistic, Luli's Cupcakes, 360 Boutique, Gloria Grace Art Studio, Anchor Boutique, Borrillos Pizza & Subs, Antiques and Things, Chez L'Amour, Carrera Wine Cellar, St. Augustine Scoop, Hilaman & Co., Coastal Traders, Cool & Collected, and The Painted Lady.
• Admission: Free
• When: From 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. on the last Thursday of each month.
• Where: Along San Marco Avenue, from Grove Avenue.

Melodies & Masterpieces: An Art Box Short Film Exhibition

• ArtBox hosts the exclusive premiere of One Drinks the Other Doesn’t on Thursday, April 25, 2024, from 6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Following the film, a dynamic panel discussion featuring directors Alex Gunuey and Amy Kalafa, along with artists and musicians, will explore the film’s themes and narrative.
• One Drinks the Other Doesn't explores the intersection of art, music, and culture through the lives of a Russian painter and an African American saxophonist, a former Duke Ellington collaborator who converted to Islam.
• A new painting will be unveiled for guests as they explore the gallery and enjoy wine, artisan charcuterie, jazz music, and poetry performances.
• Admission: Tickets include a general admission option at $25.00 and a VIP Print Package option for $65.00, which features a limited edition print related to the film.
• When: Thursday, April 24, 2024 from 6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
• Where: ArtBox is located next to Whetstone Chocolates at 137 King Street #103, St. Augustine, Florida 32084

Brothers Osborne at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre

• The St. Augustine Amphitheatre presents the Brothers Osborne on Thursday, April 25, 2023, at 7:00 p.m.
• The brothers, John on lead guitar and TJ with the impressive and moving baritone voice, were raised in Maryland where they played songs for friends and family in their parents' shed. Ultimately, they moved to Nashville, and their early performances were described as both fresh and identifiable.
• In 2022, the brothers won their first GRAMMY for Best Country Duo/Group Performance for their song "Younger Me." They have appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live, and CBS Mornings, and recently released their fourth studio album, Brothers Osborne. Their trademark sound is a blend of polished modern country and classic Southern rock, and they enjoy an adventurous musical style that is progressive and firmly planted in classic country music.
• Admission: Ticket prices range from $29.50 to $69.50. Tickets can be purchased online or at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre Box Office, which is open on Thursdays and Fridays from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. and on Saturdays from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. The box office only accepts payments by debit and credit card.
• When: Thursday, April 25, at 7:00 p.m. Doors open 7:30 p.m.
• Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre is located at 1340 A1A South in St. Augustine, Florida 32080.

Milano Comedy Room: Jake Klark

• The Milano Comedy Room presents comedian Jake Klark on Thursday, April 25, at 7:30 p.m. at Amici Restaurant, 1915 A1A South, St. Augustine.
• From Cleveland, this 30-something shares his comedy about growing up in the Rust Belt, working in corporate America, and the nuances of marriage. Jake is also a keynote speaker who uses his comedy to inspire and motivate. He performs in comedy clubs throughout the U.S. and has been a finalist in the World Series of Comedy.
• Fasil Malik opens the show.
• Admission: Tickets start at $20.00, with general admission and reserved seating available.
• When: Thursday, April 25, 2024, at 7:30 p.m.
• Where: The Milano Room at Amici Restaurant, 1915 A1A South, St. Augustine, Florida 32080.
• Peter Bradley Adams at Cafe Eleven Café Eleven presents Peter Bradley Adams on Thursday, April 25, 2024, at 8:00 p.m. Born in Alabama, musician and lyricist Peter Bradley Adams produces music that captivates an audience of more than 700,000 fans and followers on Spotify. Adams, skilled in both piano and organ, dove into music education at the University of Alabama, earning a master's degree before venturing into a freelance composer career. In 2005, Adams unveiled his debut music release, earning acclaim from the Boston Globe for its dreamy Americana style. Subsequently, The Wall Street Journal praised his distinctive melodies. Adams's musical journey delves into the nuances of tranquil and tumultuous romance, captivating audiences with emotionally -charged lyrics. His discography boasts notable works such as Gather Up, Leavetaking, Traces, Between Us, The Mighty Storm, and A Face Like Mine.
• Admission: Tickets cost $20.00 if purchased in advance and $25.00 on the day of the show. Reserved table seating costs $30.00. Purchase tickets in advance online or purchase them at Café Eleven on the day of the show.
• When: Thursday, April 25, 2024, at 8:00 p.m.
• Where: Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine, Florida 32080. On the corner of A1A and 11th Street, one block from St. Augustine Beach.

Highwater Honky – April 25

• Highwater Honky – April 25
• FREE show
• 7-10 PM
• Fun for all ages
• Friendly pups welcome
• Multiple bars stocked with craft beers, St. Augustine Distillery Products, & more!

Waterway Cleanup

• April 25 @ 10:00 am - 1:00 pm
• FREE!
• SJC Parks & Rec has partnered with Hagan Coastal Outfitters to help with a Waterway Cleanup on Thursday, April 25, 2024 — 10:00am-1:00pm. Help keep our waterways clean!
• Where: Deep Creek Soft Launch
• Cleanup can be from the shoreline, from a kayak or your own personal boat.
• Be a part of the Great St. Johns River Cleanup! Waterway Cleanup
• April 25 @ 10:00 am - 1:00 pm

Dixie Dregs “Anachronicity Tour 2024”

• April 25 @ 7:00 pm
• PRICES VARY
• The Dixie Dregs – along with special guest Steve Morse Band – will be in concert at the Ponte Vedra Concert Hall on Thursday, April 25, 2024 as part of their “Anachronicity Tour 2024”.
• About The Dixie Dregs
• The Dixie Dregs established themselves in the firmament of American instrumental music, seamlessly fusing rock with progressive and jazz elements to create a uniquely instrumental-driven style that stands the test of time. Over the course of 40 years, they’ve released eleven commercial albums of original material as well as a number of compilations, reissues, and countless live bootlegs. Along the way, they’ve garnered six GRAMMY nominations; an acknowledgement of their elevated status among the musical community.
• In 2024, an amended lineup featuring original members Morse, West, Sloan and Morgenstein … alongside familiar contemporary Jordan Rudess of Dream Theater, returns once again. The “Anachronicity Tour 2024” brings some of music’s most legendary performers to intimate stages, offering an up close and personal opportunity for long-standing and new fans alike to revel in musical proficiency and history, night after night.
• About Steve Morse Band
• Reunited and performing together for the first time in over 10 years, the Steve Morse Band returns with a long-awaited live set. It includes fan favorites from the band’s illustrious career. The band features a trio of some of the world’s most notable instrumentalists – Steve Morse, Dave LaRue, and Van Romaine. The evening with the legendary act promises to be a can’t-miss event in music history and a true testament to their status as the original gold standard in rock fusion.
• Doors Open 6:00pm Show 7:00pmDixie Dregs “Anachronicity Tour 2024”
• April 25 @ 7:00 pm

Harbormaster Park Dedication

• Thursday, April 25, 2024
• On Thursday, April 25, at 10:00am, the City of St. Augustine will have a ceremony to unveil the park sign, officially naming the green space in front of the St. Augustine Municipal Marina, Harbormaster
• Park: Dedicated in Memory of Sam R. Adukiewicz., in honor of the city’s first Harbormaster.
• Date:April 25, 2024Time:10:00 AM - 11:00 AM
• Location:Municipal Marina
• Address:111-E Avenida Menendez St. Augustine, FL 32084

Bad Dog Mama - Golfers Gone Wild

• April 25 @ 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm
• Golfers Gone Wild
• Venue: Hammock Beach Golf Resort & Spa200 Ocean Crest Dr Palm Coast, FL 32137

For future events please visit the Discord.

https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR
Since someone complained here are the list of my sources. They will also be posted to the discord.

• Visit St Augustine
• Totally St Augustine
• Floridas Historic Coast
• Old City
• City St Aug
• EventBrite
• St Augustine
• SJC Chamber
• The amp
• Facebook
• STAA
• Ocean Village Club Fl
• Original Cafe 11
• The Ocean Gallery
• Bad Dog Mama
• The Colonial Oak Music Park

You can check any of these sources for events I may have skipped over.
Written out urls here https://tinyurl.com/9dt8jr7u

Live Music and Events

• Jim Lamb, Mill Top Tavern, 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Bret Blackshear, Backyard Island Cafe at Meehan's, 1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Yael Dray and ZaZa Flamenca, The Cellar Upstairs Wine Bar & Restaurant, 1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Chris McNeil, Pierre's Pub, 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Vinny Jacobs, Hurricane Grill & Wings, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Joe Downing, Guy Harvey Resort, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Dewey Via, Marina Munch, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Trevor Compton, St. Augustine Shores Golf Club, 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Highwater Honky, Colonial Oak Music Park, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm
• Ivan Smith, Casa de Vino 57, 7:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Ramona the Duo, Chez L'Amour, 7:00 pm – 10:00 pm

Boozin' on the Boulevard

• Boozin' on the Boulevard takes guests on a hop-on hop-off service to some of the local restaurants on Anastasia Island.
• This bar crawl begins at Kaiser's Deli & Market and Sogno Restaurant from 5:00 to 6:00 p.m. Guests will then be taken to Blackfly and Odd Birds Cocktail Lounge and Kitchen from 6:00 to 7:00 p.m. The tour will end at Candlelight South at 8:00 p.m.
• Each eatery will have food and drink specials — individuals must purchase a drink first from Kaiser's or Sogno Restaurant to receive a wristband. This band enables entry onto the Old Town Connect bus — a free transportation service for participants.
• Admission: Food and drink prices vary at each establishment. Transportation is provided by Old Town Connect once a drink is purchased at Kaiser's Deli or Sogno Restaurant.
• When: Every Thursday from 5:00 to 8:00 p.m. Note: Dates and times could be adjusted based on the number of sign-ups.
• Where: Starts at Kaiser's Deli & Market at 4 White Street East, St. Augustine, Florida 32080.

Uptown Block Party

• On the last Thursday of every month, many of the Uptown shops along San Marco Avenue, stay open past their normal closing time for the St. Augustine Uptown Block Party.
• The Uptown neighborhood of shops and eateries begins at Grove Avenue and stretches north to the roundabout. The area has shops filled with funky and vintage items, home decor, jewelry, antiques, clothing, art, and eateries offering food and drink from coffee to beer and from cupcakes to elevated dining and small plate fare.
• On the last Thursday of each month, from 5:00 to 9:00 p.m., many of these shops will remain open and invite people to shop, visit, and enjoy food and drink as well as live music. Spinster Abbott's, at 61 San Marco will host live music and an outdoor block party.
• Participating businesses are subject to change, and can include: Spinster Abbott's, Sunday Gathering Table, Jenna Alexander Studio, Ink and Barley, Juniper Market, Declaration & Co., Snake Bird Vintage, Crafts Without Borders, Materialistic, Luli's Cupcakes, 360 Boutique, Gloria Grace Art Studio, Anchor Boutique, Borrillos Pizza & Subs, Antiques and Things, Chez L'Amour, Carrera Wine Cellar, St. Augustine Scoop, Hilaman & Co., Coastal Traders, Cool & Collected, and The Painted Lady.
• Admission: Free
• When: From 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. on the last Thursday of each month.
• Where: Along San Marco Avenue, from Grove Avenue.

Melodies & Masterpieces: An Art Box Short Film Exhibition

• ArtBox hosts the exclusive premiere of One Drinks the Other Doesn’t on Thursday, April 25, 2024, from 6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. Following the film, a dynamic panel discussion featuring directors Alex Gunuey and Amy Kalafa, along with artists and musicians, will explore the film’s themes and narrative.
• One Drinks the Other Doesn't explores the intersection of art, music, and culture through the lives of a Russian painter and an African American saxophonist, a former Duke Ellington collaborator who converted to Islam.
• A new painting will be unveiled for guests as they explore the gallery and enjoy wine, artisan charcuterie, jazz music, and poetry performances.
• Admission: Tickets include a general admission option at $25.00 and a VIP Print Package option for $65.00, which features a limited edition print related to the film.
• When: Thursday, April 24, 2024 from 6:30 p.m. to 9:00 p.m.
• Where: ArtBox is located next to Whetstone Chocolates at 137 King Street #103, St. Augustine, Florida 32084

Brothers Osborne at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre

• The St. Augustine Amphitheatre presents the Brothers Osborne on Thursday, April 25, 2023, at 7:00 p.m.
• The brothers, John on lead guitar and TJ with the impressive and moving baritone voice, were raised in Maryland where they played songs for friends and family in their parents' shed. Ultimately, they moved to Nashville, and their early performances were described as both fresh and identifiable.
• In 2022, the brothers won their first GRAMMY for Best Country Duo/Group Performance for their song "Younger Me." They have appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live, and CBS Mornings, and recently released their fourth studio album, Brothers Osborne. Their trademark sound is a blend of polished modern country and classic Southern rock, and they enjoy an adventurous musical style that is progressive and firmly planted in classic country music.
• Admission: Ticket prices range from $29.50 to $69.50. Tickets can be purchased online or at the St. Augustine Amphitheatre Box Office, which is open on Thursdays and Fridays from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. and on Saturdays from 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. The box office only accepts payments by debit and credit card.
• When: Thursday, April 25, at 7:00 p.m. Doors open 7:30 p.m.
• Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre is located at 1340 A1A South in St. Augustine, Florida 32080.

Milano Comedy Room: Jake Klark

• The Milano Comedy Room presents comedian Jake Klark on Thursday, April 25, at 7:30 p.m. at Amici Restaurant, 1915 A1A South, St. Augustine.
• From Cleveland, this 30-something shares his comedy about growing up in the Rust Belt, working in corporate America, and the nuances of marriage. Jake is also a keynote speaker who uses his comedy to inspire and motivate. He performs in comedy clubs throughout the U.S. and has been a finalist in the World Series of Comedy.
• Fasil Malik opens the show.
• Admission: Tickets start at $20.00, with general admission and reserved seating available.
• When: Thursday, April 25, 2024, at 7:30 p.m.
• Where: The Milano Room at Amici Restaurant, 1915 A1A South, St. Augustine, Florida 32080.
• Peter Bradley Adams at Cafe Eleven Café Eleven presents Peter Bradley Adams on Thursday, April 25, 2024, at 8:00 p.m. Born in Alabama, musician and lyricist Peter Bradley Adams produces music that captivates an audience of more than 700,000 fans and followers on Spotify. Adams, skilled in both piano and organ, dove into music education at the University of Alabama, earning a master's degree before venturing into a freelance composer career. In 2005, Adams unveiled his debut music release, earning acclaim from the Boston Globe for its dreamy Americana style. Subsequently, The Wall Street Journal praised his distinctive melodies. Adams's musical journey delves into the nuances of tranquil and tumultuous romance, captivating audiences with emotionally -charged lyrics. His discography boasts notable works such as Gather Up, Leavetaking, Traces, Between Us, The Mighty Storm, and A Face Like Mine.
• Admission: Tickets cost $20.00 if purchased in advance and $25.00 on the day of the show. Reserved table seating costs $30.00. Purchase tickets in advance online or purchase them at Café Eleven on the day of the show.
• When: Thursday, April 25, 2024, at 8:00 p.m.
• Where: Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine, Florida 32080. On the corner of A1A and 11th Street, one block from St. Augustine Beach.

Highwater Honky – April 25

• Highwater Honky – April 25
• FREE show
• 7-10 PM
• Fun for all ages
• Friendly pups welcome
• Multiple bars stocked with craft beers, St. Augustine Distillery Products, & more!

Waterway Cleanup

• April 25 @ 10:00 am - 1:00 pm
• FREE!
• SJC Parks & Rec has partnered with Hagan Coastal Outfitters to help with a Waterway Cleanup on Thursday, April 25, 2024 — 10:00am-1:00pm. Help keep our waterways clean!
• Where: Deep Creek Soft Launch
• Cleanup can be from the shoreline, from a kayak or your own personal boat.
• Be a part of the Great St. Johns River Cleanup! Waterway Cleanup
• April 25 @ 10:00 am - 1:00 pm

Dixie Dregs “Anachronicity Tour 2024”

• April 25 @ 7:00 pm
• PRICES VARY
• The Dixie Dregs – along with special guest Steve Morse Band – will be in concert at the Ponte Vedra Concert Hall on Thursday, April 25, 2024 as part of their “Anachronicity Tour 2024”.
• About The Dixie Dregs
• The Dixie Dregs established themselves in the firmament of American instrumental music, seamlessly fusing rock with progressive and jazz elements to create a uniquely instrumental-driven style that stands the test of time. Over the course of 40 years, they’ve released eleven commercial albums of original material as well as a number of compilations, reissues, and countless live bootlegs. Along the way, they’ve garnered six GRAMMY nominations; an acknowledgement of their elevated status among the musical community.
• In 2024, an amended lineup featuring original members Morse, West, Sloan and Morgenstein … alongside familiar contemporary Jordan Rudess of Dream Theater, returns once again. The “Anachronicity Tour 2024” brings some of music’s most legendary performers to intimate stages, offering an up close and personal opportunity for long-standing and new fans alike to revel in musical proficiency and history, night after night.
• About Steve Morse Band
• Reunited and performing together for the first time in over 10 years, the Steve Morse Band returns with a long-awaited live set. It includes fan favorites from the band’s illustrious career. The band features a trio of some of the world’s most notable instrumentalists – Steve Morse, Dave LaRue, and Van Romaine. The evening with the legendary act promises to be a can’t-miss event in music history and a true testament to their status as the original gold standard in rock fusion.
• Doors Open 6:00pm Show 7:00pmDixie Dregs “Anachronicity Tour 2024”
• April 25 @ 7:00 pm

Harbormaster Park Dedication

• Thursday, April 25, 2024
• On Thursday, April 25, at 10:00am, the City of St. Augustine will have a ceremony to unveil the park sign, officially naming the green space in front of the St. Augustine Municipal Marina, Harbormaster
• Park: Dedicated in Memory of Sam R. Adukiewicz., in honor of the city’s first Harbormaster.
• Date:April 25, 2024Time:10:00 AM - 11:00 AM
• Location:Municipal Marina
• Address:111-E Avenida Menendez St. Augustine, FL 32084

Bad Dog Mama - Golfers Gone Wild

• April 25 @ 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm
• Golfers Gone Wild
• Venue: Hammock Beach Golf Resort & Spa200 Ocean Crest Dr Palm Coast, FL 32137

For future events please visit the Discord.

https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR
Since someone complained here are the list of my sources. They will also be posted to the discord.

• Visit St Augustine
• Totally St Augustine
• Floridas Historic Coast
• Old City
• City St Aug
• EventBrite
• St Augustine
• SJC Chamber
• The amp
• Facebook
• STAA
• Ocean Village Club Fl
• Original Cafe 11
• The Ocean Gallery
• Bad Dog Mama
• The Colonial Oak Music Park

You can check any of these sources for events I may have skipped over.
Written out urls here https://tinyurl.com/9dt8jr7u

Happy New Year, my debaucherous little devils. Miss me? I know you all thought I grew tired of my little project, since you haven't heard from me in ages! But, never fear, dears. I could never leave you. And, just remember, just because I don't write about something now doesn't mean I won't write about it later.
Now! Let's get on with the show.
In an attempt to get everyone to like her, Cokie Mason threw a lavish, over the top party - although she kept insisting it was called a soiree. No, Cokes. That's what Logan will throw once he's finally rid of your crazy ass. We'll all join in support. In fact, we're all surprised it hasn't happened yet, but we doubt anyone is more surprised than SugarBear Brent and Number 2 Nolan.
She insisted everyone wear masquerade masks, because apparently we were all just cast in 2004’s A Cinderella Story. But judging by the way she was stomping around, screeching and shouting at everyone - including poor Logan - this might have been yet another remake of Jurassic Park instead.
Because no one in this town is allowed to be single or go without a New Years kiss, there was also a “match the ribbon” game, which is about as juvenile and ridiculous as it can get. Naturally, the entire idea was Grace's. Good job, sweetie. The point of the game was to find your match and kiss them at midnight. But some of us did a little bit more than that, didn't we? Let's dive in.
Everyone was dressed to the nines, which was to be expected, but some girls might need a bit of a refresher on what that actually means. Lingerie is not formal wear - looking at you, Jenny and Kara. But, really, what do we expect from the two girls whose combined body counts could fill the Calvary Cemetery? These two definitely missed the "more is more" memo, and I think we all know what colour underwear they were wearing. I'm kidding. We know they don’t bother with a pesky barrier like underwear.
Stoneybrook’s very own Hell’s Angels showed up in masks, but not the ski masks they generally wear while they rip off wallets and CDs. TJ even decided to get dressed up - likely in an attempt to convince his sweet little virgin that he’s actually a responsible, law-abiding citizen. Come on TJ. We all know Lauren is as naïve as a six year old, but do you really think a button down shirt - likely with the security tag still attached - is going to get her to believe you’re not a worthless piece of trash?
If anyone should have been wearing funeral clothes, it should have been Ice Pick. Sources say Sabrina all but maimed him when he dared to show up in her presence in - gasp - denim jeans. Hey, Sabs? I think it’s a step up from the handcuffs he’s usually wearing - and I don’t mean while he’s in bed with Jacqui.
Speaking of Jacqui, she decided to skip out on this party for something better. One can only assume “something better” in Jax-speak is “a gutter behind the sewage plant”. I’d like to say we missed her, but I think the only ones longing for her company - aka, her vagina - are King and Ice.
Since Austin and Stacey broke up - on Taylor Swift’s birthday, no less - my inbox has been flooded with details about these two. Honestly, we all knew this was coming. And we all knew why. Reporting on it would be like saying “Katie Lopez is a slut” or “Meg Jardin has huge jugs”. Really, what’s the point? But you guys are so obsessed with them, and since I’ll do anything to keep my readers happy, I’ll dish on this.
Stacey, clearly not happy with the consequences of her actions, accosted Austin at the party to “talk”. Judging by the dress she was barely wearing, she expected to do a lot more with her mouth than talk. But Austin wasn’t taking the bait. He cussed Stacey out, made her cry, and then got drunk. But Stacey, on the other hand… well, if you didn’t notice her and her little revenge dress parading around the party after talking to Austin, no, your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you. Boy Crazy Stacey ran all the way home… but if you think she spent the evening alone, think again. Hey, speaking of crazy… where was Robert? I’ll give you two guesses, but you only need one.
Speaking of Robert - I mean, the Wish version - Bob and Sheila were once again looking cute and cosy… until they weren’t. It happened so quickly, my sources didn’t even have time to assume their positions. Hey, Cokie - you need some Hi-Def cameras outside. People don’t give a fuck about the food you serve, but rather, the tea.
From what we can gather, Sheila and RoberTemu were fine, until they went outside. Unfortunately - damn you, Cokie - we don’t know what was said, but one of them ended things with the other. Sheila immediately left the party (or did she?) and Bob stayed and did unmentionable things with questionable people (kidding, they’re 100% mentionable… stay tuned…) so I’ll leave it up to you, my darling fans, to come to a conclusion on your own. But, don’t worry, Sheila. Bobby Hensen is single. And Justin Roberts. We know your type, babe - and it’s not just falling for guys who don’t want you. We know it won’t be long before you’re flirting with another guy while insisting you’re not a slut.
On the topic of girls who insist they aren’t a slut, Mad and Harry appear to be finished, but they also appeared to be alone in a bedroom. So… I suppose we get to watch the two of them dry hump at the next party, before spending the next month shooting glares at each other from across the room. Rinse, repeat. It’s beyond embarrassing at this point, Mad. Have some respect for yourself. Harry sure isn’t going to give you that.
Dorianne showed up in a revenge dress even more scandalous than Stacey’s. She was clearly on a mission to get Irv to regret being with Emily, or to show off the freckle on her left bum cheek. Either way, Irv definitely noticed, and the two of them were spotted in a quiet but not so secluded hallway, thisclose to making a little Dirv Jr. That is, until they were interrupted by the lumbering oaf himself, Clarence King. Maybe he was just looking for a quiet place for himself and…
Penny, obviously. These two can’t seem to keep away from each other, even though Penny is dating Mr. Perfect(ly Fine) Pete, and King is incessantly humping anything with tits. But the two of them were spotted together in the kitchen, where Penny decided she must touch King and fix his hair. Okay, Pen. We didn't know you had such high aspirations of becoming a hairstylist. And King, remember when you had your fingers up Sabrina’s twat? What happened to that guy? Whipped, and for a girl who’s not even yours. But, if Peaches keeps this up, she might be back on the market before too long.
Jo Deford has basically had a personality transplant, to go along with those boobs of hers that have finally grown in. We used to think the sluttiest one in the Deford-Weller household was Penny, but wow Jo, you’ve surpassed your step-sis by miles. Everyone knows you’ve been fucking Butch - because you tell anyone who’ll listen. I’m sure your homeroom teacher even knows the details. And I know you thought wearing a Saran Wrap dress would get his attention - and maybe it did, for a minute. But… we all saw him leave. And we all saw him kissing someone who wasn’t you at midnight. You might think you’re special, but… this is Butch. You’re not. He does a lot more than kissing with a lot more than you. Gee, I almost feel bad reporting on this. It’s like kicking a puppy. A puppy with great tits and loose morals.
Mary Anne showed up to Cokie's hoe-down, though not with pitchforks and torches. We’ll save those for Dawn the next time the cafeteria serves beef. No, Mary Anne showed up with Howie, her new boyfriend and the biggest snoozefest since Malex stopped pretending to hate each other. And, naturally, since Mary Anne and Howie are so new and in that blissed out, honeymoon phase, they spent all night laughing and talking on the couch. Oh… wait… * checks notes *. My mistake. Mary Anne was on the couch, but Howie seemed to look an awful lot like Cary Retlin. Not that there’s anything wrong with a boy and a girl laughing together on a couch… if that’s all it was…
Peter and Hannah fought. I feel like I could end the report just like that. Similarly with Staustin breaking up, who cares? These two won’t be far behind. I don’t think I’ve ever seen either one of them without a scowl on their faces. It’s more than just a bit of annoyance - these two hate each other. And, after the fight at the party - where it sounds like Peter didn’t compliment Hannah enough, or in the right way, or with the right words - these two might be dunzo. For the sake of all our sanity, I hope so.
One midnight rolled around, all of the lucky (desperate?) ribbon holders found their matches. While some of the matches were hilarious - Jenny the Whore and Saunders the Bore, Momma Steph and Daddy Todd - some of them were so into each other, you could practically smell the secretions. And, despite the masks, we know who everyone was paired up with. Job perk.
Butch and Zoe were dry humping each other into oblivion, when one of them had the mindset to, oh, I don’t know… remove the mask. Once they both realised who the other was, they remembered they hated each other. Oh, right. We’ve heard that one before. So, when’s the wedding?
Newbie Slut Jo immediately saw Butch and Zoe and did what any insanely jealous chick would do - grab the closest guy and try to make the one you actually care about jealous. But, despite playing tonsil hockey with Steve Randazzo and making him grab her ass, Butch didn’t appear to see Jo at all. Better luck next time, Ho. I mean, Jo.
Literal minutes after Sheila “left the party”, Bob stumbled in Tallie Brennan’s general direction and practically face planted onto her lips. The two of them were causing quite a scene before disappearing upstairs. Even Malik would be able to figure out what went on behind that closed door. Tallie, I know you and Sheila both play softball, but she’s got a hell of a lot more experience with balls and bitches than you do. You’re about to learn the meaning of FAFO, girl.
But, Tallie might be in luck. Sources say after Sheila left the party, she didn’t go far, and ended up sitting on the front porch with Aaron Albright the rest of the evening. While they allegedly just “talked” and definitely didn’t drunkenly stumble into any bedrooms, maybe Sheila doesn’t give a fuck where Bob dips his stick. Fun fact: take a guess what Aaron’s middle name is? I can’t make this up, people!
Despite being an unimaginable, self-righteous bore, Saunders seemed to like what Jenny was bringing to the table - like thousands of guys before him had discovered. My sources lost track of them after midnight, but something tells me they weren't hiding out in a quiet place to talk. It's nice getting your ding-dong played with, isn't it?
Cary kissed Mad and Harry kissed Savannah, but we all know those pairs didn’t leave the party together. Like I said above, Mad. It’s just embarrassing at this point. You’re worse than Jo, and that’s saying a lot. Find someone who actually wants to commit to you, and stop following Harry around like a little lost puppy. And Harry, leading girls on is for kids. Maybe it’s time you grow up. You know all too well what it’s like to be hurt, don’t you?
In an interesting turn of events, both Irv and Emily - who are, for some reason, in a relationship - took ribbons from Grace’s Bowl of Wonders and each ended up with the person they used to want to kiss - Ross and Dori. Dorianne actually apologised to Emily on her way out, but considering how she was absolutely feasting on Irv at midnight, was this really a sincere apology? We all know she’s a somewhat decent actress. Or was she just trying to make herself feel better for grinding another girl’s boyfriend into a fine mist? Or for giving that boyfriend a sense of false hope?
One member of this fucked up little foursome who didn’t seem to give a shit that Emily has a boyfriend was ol’ Spaghetti Arms himself, Ross Brown. While Ross should have been terrified that Irv would crush him with his pinky finger (the man is dumber than a sack of hammers, but definitely doesn’t skip arm day. Or his steroid injection), he seemed to happily accept Emily's advances. And why wouldn't he? It's not like the ladies are lining up to suck face with Ross Brown. I would imagine even Shawna would turn him down. Ha, oh wait. She doesn't know how to do that.
Speaking of our favourite dumb blonde - well, one of them, anyway - Shawna was paired with her bestie Tequila Taylor's ex, Bart Taylor. Considering Bart has somehow caught the attention of SDS transplants Meg and Greer, we don't know why he was searching for someone else to kiss, but maybe he's trying to up his chances that someone will want to kiss him. Why, we don't know. But, don't worry, Sauced-Suz. Shawna is your friend. Of course she turned Bart down. Oh. Oh wait. Nope, she absolutely did not, and the two shared a midnight kiss. They didn't check one another for cavities like Ballie or Dirv, but a kiss is a kiss. Keep your eyes on Jeremy, Suz. Shawna’s hungry.
Yes, it appears the “Most Likely To End Up On An Episode Of Intervention” from our graduating class managed to find a dark corner to snog with Jeremy Rudolph. Either that, or she was puking all over his too-tight (but I'm not complaining) shirt. That's her kink, Jer. Buckle up, it's a wild ride when the Sloppopotamus is behind the wheel.
After connecting during a boring as fuck game of beer pong after the State Championship game, Austin seems to have found himself a reStace-ment - see what I did there? Andrea Kirkland is the complete Anti-Stacey, and judging by the way Staustin ended things, it's exactly what Austin needs. The two of them shared a sweet-ish midnight kiss, and managed not to scream at each other in the process. Enjoy the low-key romance, Austin. Or will you be bored to tears? Stay tuned.
Before I bid you all farewell, I have one question for you - did you see the new, sparkly ring on Margie Greene’s left hand? It appears everyone's favourite Toxic Twosome is about to make a trip down the aisle - assuming they can get to the altar without breaking up again. Hey, Margie. You're glowing. When does the Twosome become a Threesome? And I'm not talking about the kind Marty wishes you would join him and Corinne in. But true love conquers all, doesn't it? Good luck. You're gonna need it.
Until next time, my darling douchebags! Xoxo 😘

I did this last night. I went to bed knowing there was a mistake here; I woke up and couldn't find it. So, we're rolling with it
Wanted to tweak a thing or two, but I'll save that for a later date
Remember this is a thought exercise. I know this isn't cookie cutter, but when we get to the draft, the real draft, I would be top dollar the real draft is also "off-meta"
Send your hate mail my way, I'll give you some sass back and we can all have a drink afterward.
Trades:
Min 11 + 23 + 2025 1st+ more (tbd) for LAC #5 Pitt #20 to SF for Aiyuk SF #20 + 63 for CHI #9 Atl #8 for IND #15 + #46 SF #30 + 2025 6th for CAR #33 and #65 SF #33 + #124 for TEN #38 DEN #12 for LAR #19 + #52

Pick	Team	Player	Position	School	Logic
1)	Chicago Bears	Caleb Williams	QB	USC	No brainer
2)	Washington Commanders	Jayden Daniels	QB	LSU	No brainer
3)	New England Patriots	JJ McCarthy	QB	Michigan	The last time they drafted a Michigan QB it worked out pretty well for them
4)	Arizona Cardinals	Marvin Harrison Jr.	WR	OSU	They grab the top player on the board and don't even think twice
5)	Minnesota Vikings	Drake Maye	QB	UNC	A bit of a project, he goes to a team where he doesn't have to start day 1 and they can ease him in
6)	New York Giants	Malik Nabers	WR	LSU	With BB on the sideline, waiting for a NYG reunion, Daboll will be under major scrutiny if things don't go well so he grabs an impact player that can elevate his offense
7)	Tennessee Titans	Joe Alt	OT	Notre Dame	No brainer here for the Titans who get some serious help on the offensive line for Will Levis
8)	Indianapolis Colts	Brock Bowers	TE	Georgia	Every young QB needs a safety net, so how about a generational talent at tight end?
9)	San Francisco 49ers	Rome Odunze	WR	Washington	Lynch is no stranger to big moves. They go up and get an Aiyuk replacement and then mitigate the cost of trading up with a series of trade backs
10)	New York Jets	Taliese Fuaga	OT	Oregon State	Having been bested by the 49ers and Colts, the Jets opt for OL help considering their OL is what caused Rodgers and the Jets season to end week 1.
11)	Los Angeles Chargers	Xaiver Worthy	WR	Texas	The first shock and awe pick. I am not buying Harbough's OL talk. They have an X in Johnston who was not so dependable last year. Worthy brings game breaking explosiveness as an underneath option for Herbert.
12)	Los Angeles Rams	Quinyon Mitchell	CB	Toledo	If you're counting on Tre White to be the guy and stay healthy, you're in for a very rough season. They get their pick of the litter by trading up. Great scheme fit
13)	Las Vegas Raiders	Jer'Zhan Newton	DT	Illinois	New coach, defensive guy..If anyone knows the value of a DT, it should be Antonio Pierce. Newton will be a staple in this defense, freeing up the linebackers to make more plays
14)	New Orleans Saints	Brian Thomas Jr	WR	LSU	Olave's versatility gives the Saints the ability to cause matchup problems now on offense. Thomas gives this team some more balance in the passing game.
15)	Atlanta Falcons	Laiatu Latu	Edge	UCLA	Atlanta trades back and grabs arguably the best edge rusher in the draft. High floor, which is perfect for a team set to contend with a 35 year old Kirk Cousins
16)	Seattle Seahawks	Graham Barton	OG	Duke	Pretty tough watching the Seahawks o-line operate last year. In my opinion, they could go either tackle or guard, but Barton is the best on the board and he could do both.
17)	Jacksonville Jaguars	Nate Wiggins	CB	Clemson	Grabs a pure man corner with elite speed
18)	Cincinnati Bengals	JC Latham	OT	Alabama	Two seasons cut short due to injury. Cincinnati decides that protecting Burrow from future peril is the top priority
19)	Denver Broncos	Michael Penix Jr.	QB	Washington	With no second round pick, trading back up into the 1st is off-limits. They keep next year's first, get a QB, and add a 2nd, which they previously didn't have
20)	Chicago Bears	Chop Robinson	Edge	Penn State	Not many would expect Chop to go before Latu and Verse, but he is better than most realize and I think that will show up come draft day.
21)	Miami Dolphins	Dallas Turner	Edge	Alabama	To stop Josh Allen (with an edge pick) or to protect Tua? They go with someone who can help them win the division
22)	Philadelphia Eagles	Terrion Arnold	CB	Alabama	Great scheme fit here for the Eagles who add some strength to their secondary that was forced to make some off-season changes
23)	Los Angeles Chargers	Cooper DeJean	CB	Alabama	I can't imagine the Chargers are comfortable heading into the season with Fulton starting at LCB. They get a pretty big upgrade here.
24)	Dallas Cowboys	Amarius Mims	OT	Georgia	They nab a big athletic T to help their beleaguered line
25)	Green Bay Packers	Troy Fautanu	G	Washington	Is this the year Green Bay ends their drought of not picking an OL in the first? I think they know they have something here at QB. They grab a piece to help him a bit more.
26)	Tampa Bay Buccaneers	Jared Verse	Edge	FSU	His fall ends here and the Bucs get a high end talent at the backend of the first
27)	Arizona Cardinals	Byron Murphy	DL	Texas	I know they added a couple of guys to beef up the middle, but if the plan is for either of their DTs to start, their defense will never be able to get off the field. League worst interior DL
28)	Buffalo Bills	Troy Franklin	WR	Oregon	I think they would pick Franklin over Brian Thomas. He can be versatile and provides a bit of YAC, but most importantly, he opens up the short part of the field for Shakir and Samuel to operate.
29)	Detroit Lions	Ladd McConkey	WR	Georgia	With the loss of Reynolds and the slow start to Williams' career, the Lions look for a bonafide weapon underneath
30)	Baltimore Ravens	Darius Robinson	DL	Missouri	Ravens land baby Richard Seymour. Versatile DL who will help in both the pass rush as a 5 tech.
31)	Carolina Panthers	Roman Wilson	WR	Michigan	They want to make sure they get their guy. Wilson can be a high volume Z role WR who can see a bunch of targets from Jones and be his security.
32)	Kansas City Chiefs	Tyler Guyton	OT	Oklahoma	KC Chiefs, satisfied with their QB room after adding Marquise Brown, decide to handle business up front on the OL with behemoth in Guyton.
33)	Tennessee Titans	Adonai Mitchell	WR	Texas	They tried getting 2.1 last year, but they succeeded this year. They get another weapon for Levis. They leapfrog WR needy NE in the process.
34)	New England Patriots	Xavier Legette	WR	South Carolina	Maybe they were on AD or not, but Legette brings big time athleticism which is this WR corps lacks.
35)	Arizona Cardinals	TJ Tampa	CB	Iowa State	Big, athletic zone DB. Nice scheme fit
36)	Washington Commanders	Olu Fashanu	OT	Penn State	With Jayden in hand and some decent weapons in place, you need to protect your assets with Mr. Tiny Hands
37)	Los Angeles Chargers	Jackson Powers-Johnson	C	Oregon	Harbough backs up his talk by going with the top C in r2.
38)	San Franciso 49ers	Jordan Morgan	OT	Arizona	So, if you've been keep tracking, the 49ers essentially draft Odunze for the cost of a 5th round pick. Lynch works his magic and lands a promising tackle.
39)	Carolina Panthers	Cade Stover	TE	Ohio State	Maybe a reach, maybe not. Carolina, desperate to get their QB weapons chooses an option that is not a liability while blocking
40)	Washington Commanders	Kool-Aid McKinstry	CB	Alabama	Sure, edge is a big priority after losing two to trade last year, but there is too much value here to pass up
41)	Green Bay Packers	Trevin Wallce	LB	Kentucky	High RAS, athletic, can move around and will provide some athleticism and versatility
42)	Houston Texans	Braden Fiske	DT	FSU	A team that was gashed by the run to end their season will look to fill the gap up front
43)	Atlanta Falcons	Chris Braswell	Edge	Alabama	After electing to go CB, they fill another vital need at the edge with a scheme fit for their 3-4
44)	Las Vegas Raiders	Bo Nix	QB	Oregon	It's hard to imagine a situation where the Raiders go into 2024-2025 with Aidan O'Connell or Minshew competing for the starting job
45)	New Orleans Saints	Cooper Beebe	OG	Kansas State	I think it would be tough for the Saints to pass on Beebe here. I know they have a lot of holes on defense, but Beebe is the best OL left on the board
46)	Indianapolis Colts	Tyler Nubin	FS	Minnesota	After addressing their pass offense, Indy looks to shore up their secondary
47)	New York Giants	Troy Benson	RB	FSU	It's do or die for Daboll and co., and they seek to replace a key missing piece from last year in Saquon with Benson
48)	Jacksonville Jaguars	Ricky Pearsall	WR	Florida	Gives the Jags versatility by being able to swap him and Kirk at times. NT is also important, but with Sweat's incident, probably not here.
49)	Cincinnati Bengals	Malachi Corley	WR	WKU	I would love for the Bengals to add some secondary help here, but I think there is a line and going CB here would be a reach. The next tier of DBs has a good mix of size and speed for them to choose from, but adding the YAC king Corley could be the absolute steal of the draft
50)	Philadelphia Eagles	Edgerrin Cooper	LB	Texas A&M	Great scenario for the Eagles, who arguably grab the top LB on the board in r2
51)	Pittsburgh Steelers	Zach Frazier	C	West Virginia	With no ideal tackles on the board here, the Steelers, having bolstered their WR core with Aiyuk, grab some help along the OL
52)	Denver Broncos	Ja'Lynn Polk	WR	Washington	Were you really expecting anything else here? C'mon.
53)	Philadelphia Eagles	Mike Sainristil	Nickel	Michigan	Not a zone scheme guy, but neither is Taron Johson, the best NCB in the game in a zone scheme. The potential impact here is too great to pass up, especially with Dak and the #2 pick Daniels in your division now.
54)	Cleveland Browns	Jeremiah Trotter Jr	LB	Clemson	Good bloodlines. Athletic and will be counted on a lot in coverage
55	Miami Dolphins	T'Vondre Sweat	NT	Texas	If there is any team that is going to draft Sweat in r2, it's gotta be the Phins.
56)	Dallas Cowboys	Jaylen Wright	RB	Tennessee	Yeah, I know. Big opportunity for them to stay with a Texas player, but Wright has got the speed that satisfies all of Jerry's dark desires
57)	Tampa Bay Buccaneers	Christian Haynes	G	UConn	Bolsters their beleaguered OL providing them with some athletcism
58)	Green Bay Packers	Javon Bullard	S	Georgia	Packers find some secondary help with a rangy zone safety.
59)	Houston Texans	Kingsley Suamataia	OT	BYU	Green coming off an awful 2022 and an IR in 2023, they shift Howard back to guard. Patterson battles Spriggs for the center role. One of the two ends up as the back up at center and RG.
60)	Buffalo Bills	Marshawn Kneeland	Edge	W Michigan	An idylicc scenario for the Bills. They don't like one trick ponies. Kneeland helps set the edge and get after the pass, as they try to replace 50% of the lost snaps from Leonard Floyd
61)	Detroit Lions	Ennis Rakestraw Jr.	CB	Missouri	Good scheme fit for some much-needed help in the secondary
62)	Baltimore Ravens	Keon Coleman	WR	FSU	Gives Lamar a big body to target and redzone presence
63)	Chicago Bears	Jermaine Burton	WR	Alabama	A nice deep threat to complete DJ Moore in this offense that could use another playmaker
64)	Kansas City Chiefs	Tez Walker	WR	UNC	Raw, but is a prototypical X WR who provides this team with a big play threat who can go up and get it.
65)	San Francisco 49ers	Adisa Isaac	Edge	Penn State	49ers grab a huge upside pass rusher with the first pick in the 3rd round

Live Music

• Hendricks Band North Shores Community Center 11:00 am – 12:00 pm
• Heather Craig Crabby's Beachside 12:00 pm – 3:00 pm
• Crawford Boyd's Acoustic Anomaly North Shores Community Center 12:00 pm – 1:00 pm
• Joshua "Tennessee" Worthy Mill Top Tavern 12:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Joe Nash Pierre's Pub 1:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• TJ Brown The Cellar Upstairs Wine Bar & Restaurant 1:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Morrow Family Band North Shores Community Center 1:00 pm – 2:00 pm
• Elizabeth Roth Tradewinds Lounge 1:00 pm – 4:30 pm
• Davis Cook Colonial Oak Music Park 2:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Kat Archer North Shores Community Center 3:00 pm – 4:00 pm
• Dewey Via Band Sabrage Charters of St. Augustine 3:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Sam Pacetti North Shores Community Center 4:00 pm – 5:00 pm
• Vinny Jacobs Oasis Deck & Restaurant 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Big Papa Fish DJ's Clam Shack 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Carpetbaggers North Shores Community Center 5:00 pm – 6:00 pm
• Fermin Spanish Guitar Marina Munch 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Mark Hart Tradewinds Lounge 5:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Cheryl Watson Kingfish Grill 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Duffy Bishop Band North Shores Community Center 6:00 pm – 7:00 pm
• Jesse Cruce Mellow Mushroom — Anastasia Island 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• Morrow Family Band Guy Harvey Resort 6:00 pm – 9:00 pm
• New Guys on the Dock Hurricane Patty's Bar and Grill 6:00 pm – 9:30 pm
• John Dickie North Shores Community Center 7:00 pm – 8:00 pm
• Vegas Gray Tradewinds Lounge 9:00 pm – 1:00 am
• Bret Blackshear Meehan's Irish Pub & Seafood House 9:00 pm – 12:00 am

Fellowship of Christian Athletes 5K

• The Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) 5K takes place on Saturday, April 20, 2024, at the Good News Church. This event serves as a fundraising effort for the Fellowship of Christian Athletes in St. Johns County, an organization dedicated to using sports to engage and impact coaches and athletes.
• The race course starts and ends at the Good News Church and runs through South St. Augustine.
• The event offers participants custom race shirts (available to those who register by April 5th), goodie bags filled with giveaways, and medals for all finishers.
• For those looking to make more out of their racing experience, this event is part of the FCA 3 Race Series, which includes two other races in Neptune Beach and Fernandina Beach, providing participants with a discounted entry fee if they choose to participate in all three events.
• Admission: Registration fees are based on when participants register. Prices range from $30.00 to $40.00.
• When: Saturday, April 20, 2024 at 8:00 a.m.
• Where: Good News Church is at 1357 Wildwood Drive St. Augustine, Florida 32086

Amphitheatre Farmers Market

• The St. Augustine Amphitheatre Farmers Market offers visitors a variety of goods such as local fresh produce, handmade arts and crafts, baked goods, plants directly off the farm, freshly-caught seafood, cheeses, and more. The farmers market makes for a morning of family-friendly fun with live entertainment on select dates.
• In addition to the impressive variety of organic produce offered by local farmers, a number of local artists and craftspeople also display their wares at the market.
• Admission: FREE
• Where: St. Augustine Amphitheatre located at 1340 A1A South St. Augustine, FL 32080.
• When: Every Saturday morning from 8:30 am - 12:30 pm.

Yoga in the Garden

• The Lightner Museum hosts Yoga In the Garden on the third Saturday of each month from 8:30 to 9:30 a.m.
• This yoga session is suitable for all, and each participant should bring a yoga mat or towel and water. An instructor from Serenity Yoga leads the session on the lawn of the Ridzinski Family Garden, on the south end of the building. This event is part of Lightner's 75th-anniversary celebration and recalls the days of Henry Flagler's Alcazar Hotel and its well-known spa facilities.
• Admission: This is a donation-based event, and there is no need to register.
• When: On the third Saturday of each month, from 8:30 to 9:30 a.m.
• Where: The Radzinski Family Garden is behind the Lightner Museum at 75 King Street, St. Augustine.
• NOTE: Some dates may need to be rescheduled due to inclement weather.

Freedom Trail Trolley Tours

• Noted historian and author, David Nolan, with the Accord Freedom Trail Organization, conducts Freedom Trail Trolley Tours on select Saturdays, beginning on Saturday, February 3, 2024, from 9:00 to 11:00 a.m. Subsequent tours will be Saturday, March 9, Saturday, April 6, and Saturday, April 20 — all tours begin at 9:00 a.m. and end at 11:00 a.m.
• These public tours start at the Willie Galimore Center at 399 S. Riberia Street, where there is free parking for the attendees. David Nolan will point out places of historical significance in the fight for freedom in this country, including homes where Martin Luther King, Jr. sheltered during his time in St. Augustine.
• This tour is limited by the size of the trolley and reservations are required. For reservations, call (904) 599-7739.
• Admission: A $20.00 donation is suggested. These donations will benefit ACCORD, Inc. To reserve a seat, call (904) 599-7739.
• When: From 9:00 to 11:00 a.m., on Saturdays, February 3, March 9, April 6, and April 20.
• Where: The tour begins at the Willie Galimore Center, 399 South Riberia Street where there will be free parking. Please arrive by 8:45 a.m.

School of the 16th Century

• Historic Florida Militia presents the School of the 16th Century, at the Oldest House Museum Complex on Saturday, April 20, 2024, from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. This annual event features period re-enactors portraying life as it was more than 450 years ago in St. Augustine. Visitors can see weapons and cooking demonstrations, while they learn about many facets of 16th-century camp life.
• Educational and entertaining at the same time, this historically authentic event is ideal for the whole family, with training drills and interpretations going on all day. Visitors can browse displays of 16th-century artifacts and watch soldados (Spanish soldiers) shoot the Matchlock Arquebus, the predecessor of the musket. Guests can participate in pike pushes and sword fighting, and see live demonstrations of 16th-century cooking, and bead jewelry making. Textiles and period clothing will be on display.
• Admission: The event is free.
• When: Saturday, April 20, 2024, from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m.
• Where: The Oldest Museum House Complex is on 14 St. Francis Street in St. Augustine, Florida 32084.
• The School of the 16th Century was postponed from February 17 to April 20, 2024.

Tolomato Cemetery Tour

• Located on the site of an early 18th-century Franciscan Indian mission to the native Guale people, this Catholic cemetery dates back to St. Augustine's early history. Public access to the Tolomato Cemetery is limited, due to preservation concerns, to the third Saturday of each month, when guided tours are given from 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.
• The Tolomato Cemetery was the final resting place for people from a wide variety of cultures - Spanish, Cuban, Greek, Menorcan, African, Irish, and Haitian, just to name a few. It was closed to burials in 1884.
• The Tolomato Cemetery served as the parish cemetery for what is now the Cathedral Basilica of St. Augustine for more than 100 years. Though some 1,000 St. Augustinians are buried in the cemetery, there are only about 100 grave markers. What is known about who is buried there comes from the parish death records. The Cathedral parish and the Diocese of St. Augustine still own, maintain, and protect the cemetery.
• Some of the historically important people buried in the Tolomato cemetery are Bishop Agustin Verot, the first Bishop of St. Augustine, Governor Enrique White, who served during the Second Spanish Period, and General George Biassou of Haiti. Also buried here are the first Sisters of St. Joseph and Civil War soldiers from both sides of the conflict, including Freedmen who fought for the Union.
• Father Felix Varela of Cuba, who as a renowned teacher at the Cathedral of Havana seminary was an outspoken defender of human rights, and who later published the first Spanish-language newspaper in the U.S., was buried at Tolomato in 1853. The distinctive small white building in the cemetery is his chapel, built in his honor.
• Admission: Free, and donations are encouraged.
• When: 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. on the third Saturday of the month.
• Where: The Tolomoto Cemetery is located at 14 Cordova Street, St. Augustine 32084

Lullaby of the Rivers Festival

• Lullaby of the Rivers celebrates Earth Day with a festival on Saturday and Sunday, April 20 - 21, 2024, at the North Shores Community Park in Vilano Beach.
• Local singesongwriter Bob Patterson, and organizeactivist Carol Kramer, have used Bob's award-winning song "Lullaby of the Rivers" to create an Earth Day festival featuring regional musicians, storytellers, and environmental organizations.
• "Lullaby of the Rivers" is a tribute to Florida's rivers and their heritage. In his folksy storytelling style, Patterson invites listeners to embrace the Native American tradition of environmental responsibility by remembering that Florida's great rivers — including the Apalachicola, Ichetucknee, Ocklawaha, and Kissimmee — carry the names they were given by the native people.
• In addition to two days of musical entertainment, the event will include an Earth Day Resource Fair with activities for kids, sustainable food tastings, and environmental organization presentations. The mission of the Lullaby of the Rivers Festival is to "awaken and nurture connections to nature in gatherings of all ages by using music and stories that inspire environmental awareness and consciousness."
• Logistics
• Admission: General admission (for all aged 16 to 65) is $10.00/day. Active military, first responders, and seniors (65 and up) can get in for $5.00. Those 15 and under are free.
• When: Saturday, April 20, from 11:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m., and Sunday, April 21, from 11:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.
• Where: North Shores Park, 120 Meadow Avenue, St. Augustine, Florida 32084. This park is in Vilano Beach, a few blocks north of the town center.
• How to get there: From St. Augustine, cross over the May St. Bridge to Vilano Beach, turn left at the light onto Coastal Highway, and turn left again on Meadow Ave. The park is located on the right. Park by the fenced area or across A1A at Surfside Park.

24th Annual Riding Into History

• On Friday and Saturday, April 19 and 20, 2024, the 24th Annual Riding Into History will take place in St. Augustine. With hundreds of antique, vintage, and custom bikes from all over the country on display, the event features exhibitors, motorcycle dealers, and food and entertainment. There are special rides for participants, as well as a dinner celebration on Friday night.
• Motorcycle enthusiasts can participate in this event in multiple ways.
• Friday, April 19
• Grand Marshals' Historic Vintage Grand Tour begins at 9:30 a.m. Motorcyclists who have received an invitation will ride their vintage bikes through the back roads of historic Florida from the Renaissance Hotel parking lot in World Golf Village. All participants for this event must have vintage motorcycles and pre-register, as space is limited.
• The 2024 Grand Marshal is Henry DeGouw, a motorcycle racer and team manager, born in Gainesville. Henry bought his first motorcycle in 1957 when he was in high school. His first race was in 1964, in Punta Gorda, Florida. By that time, he had a BSA Gold Star.
• He won an AMA Amateur National Road Race Championship in 1971 and in 1973. Henry’s Formula 1 racing highlights:
• 1983 & 1984 AAMRR Expert Formula 1 Southern Region Road Racing Champion
• 1984-1986 Macau GP Participant
• 1976-1986 AMA Camel Pro Series Expert Professional Road Racing Championship (Formula 1 Class)
• Admission: The catered dinner is $100.00 per person. You can find more information, make a donation, and register for tickets on their website. Tickets and registration open on January 1, 2024.
• When: The Grand Marshals' Dinner will be held on Friday, April 19, 2024, at 6:00 p.m.
• Where: World Golf Village Renaissance St. Augustine, 500 South Legacy Trail, St. Augustine, Florida 32092
• Saturday, April 20
• The Annual Riding Into History Concours d'Elegance takes place from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. at the Classic Car Museum of St. Augustine. There will be an array of motorcycles and motorcycle items on display, as well as live entertainment, food vendors, and other exhibits. The 2024 theme is "Chasing the Rising Sun," and the event features Japanese motorcycles.
• Registration and Tickets: There is no fee to enter a motorcycle in the Concours. Pre-registration is required.
• Admission: The Concours d'Elegance is open to the public and costs $15.00 at the gate. You can purchase tickets online in advance for two for $25.00. Motorcycle entrants are allowed one guest arriving at the same time as the entrant as part of their motorcycle registration.
• When: Saturday, April 20, 2024, from 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.
• Where: The Concours d'Elegance will be held at the Classic Car Museum of St. Augustine, 4730 U.S. 1, St. Augustine, Florida 32086
• For more information please visit their website or call (904) 827-7379.

Vilano Beach Artisan Market

• Vilano Beach Main Street transforms into a vibrant artisan's market from 4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. every third Saturday of the month. Stretching from the junction of A1A and Vilano Road to the Holiday Inn, the sidewalk becomes a showcase for more than 20 vendors, presenting a diverse array of products in booths.
• From captivating artwork to one-of-a-kind home décor, there's something for everyone at this lively outdoor market. Visitors enjoy live local music as they explore a selection of artisan-made goods, including plants, datil pepper sauces, jewelry, pottery, and clothing.
• Adding to the lively atmosphere is a cash bar offering a select variety of fine wines and craft beers, allowing guests to enjoy a stroll, drink in hand. Whether shopping for themselves, seeking souvenirs, or just basking in the St. Augustine sun, guests can soak up the Vilano Beach vibes.
• Take advantage of free parking and admission at Vilano Beach Main Street on Vilano Road in St. Augustine.
• This outdoor market may be canceled on stormy days. Updates are available on their website.
• Admission: Free
• When: On the third Saturday of every month, from 4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.
• Where: In the Vilano Beach shopping district, along Vilano Road.

Cruisers Car Club Cruise-IN

• Hosted by the St. Augustine Cruisers Car Club, the St. Augustine Cruise-IN is from 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. on the third Saturday of each month.
• Held at the Classic Car Museum of St. Augustine, activities at the monthly Cruise-IN include music, door prizes, and a 50/50 drawing.
• A family-oriented organization that began in the mid-1990s, the St. Augustine Cruisers Car Club promotes interest in various types of special auto activities, creates good fellowship and sportsmanship among its members, and supports charities.
• Admission: Free for the outdoor event. (Standard admission fee, $12.00, to visit the museum and showroom.)
• When: 5:00 to 7:00 p.m. on the third Saturday of each month.
• Where: The Classic Car Museum of St. Augustine is located at 4730 US-1 in St. Augustine, FL 32086

An Evening at the Estuary: Under the Light of the Moon

• The Friends of the Guana Tolomato Matanzas Research Reserve host An Evening for the Estuary: Under the Light of the Moon on Saturday, April 20, 2024, from 6:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m. at the GTM Reserve visitor center in Ponte Vedra Beach.
• Action News Jax's anchor, John Bachman, will be the master of ceremonies for this year's event, which features live music by Sidewalk 65 and cocktails by mixologist, Jonathan Mateer. The keynote speaker this year is Jessica Harvey, CEO for the Guy Harvey Foundation.
• The event overlooks the scenic Guana River at the Reserve's Visitor Center. Proceeds from the event go to support education, stewardship, and research programs at the GTM National Estuarine Research Reserve.
• Admission: Tickets are $100.00 per person.
• When: Saturday, April 20, 2024, from 6:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.
• Where: The GTM Research Reserve Visitor Center is located at 505 Guana River Road in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida 32082.

Emo Nite Dance Party at Cafe Eleven

• Café Eleven presents Emo Nite on Saturday, April 20, 2024, at 8:00 p.m.
• From its inception in L.A. to its expansion onto festival stages like Coachella, Bonnaroo, and Lollapalooza, Emo Nite is a popular event. Recognized by Rolling Stone for its impact on the emo scene, co-founders T.J. Petracca and Morgan Reed are dedicated to supporting and entertaining the post-hardcore community.
• Featuring appearances by artists such as Avril Lavigne, Machine Gun Kelly, Blink-182, The Maine, Good Charlotte, Demi Lovato, Skrillex, and more, this dynamic duo continues to host events and parties celebrated for its unique playlists and performances.
• Admission: Tickets cost $16.00 if purchased in advance. Tier One tickets cost $18.00, while Tier Two tickets cost $21.00. Purchase tickets in advance online or purchase them at Café Eleven on the day of the show.
• When: Saturday, April 20, 2024, at 8:00 p.m.
• Where: Café Eleven, 501 A1A Beach Blvd, St. Augustine, Florida 32080. On the corner of A1A and 11th Street, one block from St. Augustine Beach.

For future events please visit the Discord.

https://discord.gg/NG4eZSWAgR