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Ok this is going to be a long one but this is my first ever post about my life this is a burner account. My girlfriend (f 31) of 14 years broke up with me (m 32) a few months ago and we still live together we broke up because I let myself get too far gone. I suffer from depression and anxiety as well as PTSD from having an abusive schizophrenic mother who's a narcissist, I also got into gangs when I was young to give you some background anyway our problems started almost a year into our relationship i didn't know i had PTSD yet but I got into fights with friends and even my dad a man I respect and am closer to than anyone other than my ex and my kids anyway I always had fits and one day she tried to hit me and I smacked her hand to the table she fractured her arm and I took her to the hospital she panicked and made up something about being jumped and the cops came and I think she told them I was the cause after a while but renigged her statement later they interrogated me for hours at the station I knew not to tell the police the truth is I felt bad I felt guilty I loved her so I told the truth we both missed each other and she lived with me and my parents we rented an apartment from my dad and him and my mom lived in another at the time we had a no contact order but she got on the phone when I called my parents and pretended to be someone else and we talked and they brought it up in court I ended up having to take a dv charge I was set to win the case but they used the phone calls against us and threatened charges on her and my parents if i didn't plead guilty so I pleaded guilty and when I got out she got pregnant she was working a good job at the time but she got into a car accident she already took a pregnancy test so we knew she was pregnant and I was happy I knew she would make a good mother and I knew i wanted her to be the mother of my children and my forever since the day we met we had already had a miscarriage and she had a whole in her heart from a child that she took care of in her past relationship she was a runaway and had past trauma of her own her mother was abusive as well and every boyfriend she ever had abused her I was supposed to be different I didn't know I was so broken if I knew I had PTSD I would have left her alone but we fell in love deeply I want to say nothing happened when she was pregnant but it did we got into a bad argument and I kicked the basinet and it hit her in the stomach immediately snapped out of it after that nothing else happened until the baby was born our child was born 3 weeks premature and was my pride and joy still is my ex had postpartum so I spent a lot of time with the baby and because of the accident my ex was passing out and having seizures which later we found out were psudo seizures but they felt real and sometimes she passed out or had a seizure and woke up not knowing where she was who she was who I was but she said my voice calmed her down and I was always able to bring her back to reality she got a few concussions from her seizures but also a few from me if I'm being honest I went to the neurologist with her because of the concussions she got from the seizures but to later give her one I was disgusted with myself but she couldn't work anymore so I looked for job i couldn't find anything so I worked for the apartments under the table but that dried up I found something else it dried up too I kept looking but it was useless I had to move back in with my parents with my ex and our first born they had a 3 bedroom and we paid them well she did I eventually got on SSI because of the physical pain from my mother's abuse bipolar disorder depression and PTSD I already went to get help when my ex was pregnant because I wanted to know why I was doing what I was doing my parents wanted me to get a check so they sent me to the counselor but I wanted to get help with my relationship and being honest helped me get my diagnosis but I lost that counselor like I lost every counselor I ever actually felt i could actually open up to anyway we are in my parents house and my mom is a big trigger for me we were paying rent and she accused us of stealing even coming in our room uninvited by then she was pregnant with our youngest and I wasnt perfect then either I was still struggling with my PTSD I did for years I pushed her in the closet and told her she couldn't leave my mom was there watching a constant trigger I snapped out of it but things got bad between my ex and my mom and they started to fight each other never physical but verbal and after she had the baby she almost died she lost a lot of blood I didn't know if I could trust my mom with the baby so I didn't go I still regret that decision but when she came back we waited for a few more and I used my back pay to get her a car and to get out of my mom's house our oldest has high spectrum autism and is really smart and talkative but after that short time living with my parents she developed selective mutism and we had to take her to speach therapy so we put up with roaches for 15 months just to get away from my mom and at the new place she got her lick back she was trying to beat on me and she was trying to stab me from time to time i had a PTSD attack and it would be back and forth but to be honest this started a new problem i was young and I used to flirt i kissed a girl once when we first started dating it was an ex she also slept with her ex best friend before I got locked up again just background truth is i was a flirt for a few years I was young and still searching for the approval i never got from my mom in other women I'm not proud of it though I was talking to women on Craigslist friends only and casual encounters sadly I wasn't trying to cheat i wanted someone i didn't know to talk to about my problem I stopped talking to all my female friends and she stopped talking to her male friends at each other's requests because of the cheating and I stopped talking to anyone that would be around a lot of women and all my other friends were either too gangster to listen or already in happy situations so I wanted to talk to a stranger that was a woman for advice I don't know what it is but women give better advice so I foolishly went to Craigslist and got caught but I ended up actually cheating months later with an ex that I thought I could be friends with but she was my first love and I told her some of what I was going through and we ended up having sex I was feeling guilty and took forever to get hard she had an IUD it was horrible tbh and on top of that she tried to 3 way my ex just to get me to admit it was her after my ex called her and acted like she wasn't the one i cheated with the whole time she tried to ruin my relationship after that after a year of trying and going to specialist my ex got her own SSI check and we got out of our roach infested apartment things were ok I had been trying to work on my triggers and had way less PTSD attacks and things were better for a few years she had a problem with me liking pictures on Instagram and I admit I hate being told what to do especially when I feel I'm doing nothing wrong and I was liking everything not just girls and I never commented anything but where did you get that shirt my girl would love that or happy birthday or thank you and I never slid in dms none of that I just liked pictures and I worked on it eventually because it was the only thing we argued about after a while but then everything changed we got into a big fight and I called her a name she ran at me got on the bed and punched me in the jaw so hard like I'm pretty tough I been hit in the face with a bat and when I tell you she hit me she hit me and when she went to hit me again I just reacted I flipped her then I blacked out I woke up and my hands were wrapped around her neck I snapped out of it and my parents took her to the hospital another thing I never learned to drive my step dad the man I call dad is a good man and a hard worker but he was a drug addict and a thug who was a alcoholic so he never had a license my whole life and my mom was to selfish to teach me I was always to poor for lessons my girl is the best driver I know but never taught me because she would say things like I'll be cheating as soon as I learn to drive so I never learned I regret that too anyway they took her to the doctor and she tore her hamstring I tried to take care of her but she wasn't having it she didn't stay rested she stayed on her feet one time she even punched me when I tried to help we were still in love but it was dying we eventually made up but every year after that she was telling me she needed help telling me she was falling out of love she asked me to help around the house I was lazy at the beginning of our relationship and I got used to her cleaning but by the time we got out of the roaches my depression got so much worse I was trying to get help until COVID kept losing counselors to the point I stopped telling them about my whole life and I started skipping straight to me and my ex I wanted help I was tired of hurting the woman I love but something else happened we got into an argument and I said something slick and she tried to stab me I evaded her and calmed her down but the argument went into the next day I locked myself in the bathroom and she tried to break the door down we had a sword in the bathroom for security and I threatened to stab her with it she had a panic attack and called the police I got a misdemeanor harassment charge but I never got mad I worked on myself I didn't want us to argue like that anymore I got out of jail and I was ordered to go to anger management I wish they made me go the very first time but when I went I embraced it and used it to help me with my triggers and that helped not only with my PTSD but with my fight or flight response as well after I got out I came clean about everything and even about the ex I cheated with man she beat me in the head so bad I got multiple concussions but I wasn't mad I actually felt good because I didn't black out I was doing it i was working on my triggers but we kept arguing and every year she told me that she still loves me and wants to make it work but she's losing interest and I told her I'd change and I wanted to but i couldn't my parents didn't take much medicine my mom took Wellbutrin and other things but they made her sleep all day she was dead to the world and I took paxil and Adderall as a kid and I felt like a zombie not to mention my dad was afraid of pills and side effects so I was afraid to take medicine but I needed it my depression was so far gone that I stopped feeling empathy I was empty and I let my guilt and regret and hatred of myself lead to more depression I'm a good singer and rapper I stopped doing music I blamed her but it was depression she suffers from cyclic vomiting syndrome and I just sat on my ass when she got sick I didn't help I wasn't doing dishes but I couldn't even wake up and take a shower or brush my teeth it was horrible I didn't love myself and I was angry at the world and I took it out on her I felt useless so when we argued about me not helping I called her useless everything I felt about me I projected onto her I was numb and I think she was too then I got on tiktok and found something I was good at again I got a lot of followers very quick but that one ex that I cheated with came back and this time It was innocent but my ex told me any interaction with her and it's over but she had a large following and I was trying to get paid but my ex found out and like an idiot I was trying to not delete or block her because im a man and I'm trying to get ahead you aren't a man you can't even help the woman you love you idiot then she kept telling me she was done but we dragged it on because we loved each other by December 2023 we were done but we were still acting like a couple I was in denial thinking we were fixing it because before my birthday at the beginning of 2022 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure I decided to have 1 last year of holiday food and going out to eat and we started working out 2023 and I have lost 108 lbs with her help and her love and support we started a diet and worked out in the house 5 days a week she saved my life once again of course I was in denial of course I was trying to work it out but those last few months were crazy that last year was crazy in 2022 she got into a car accident and she was sore for a while but she found out that she actually broke her rib and healed it messed up and never knew so she got into working out to lose weight and we started our diet in 2023 but in 2022 I found Kevin Samuels and all that alpha male red pill male chauvinist poison it was bull shit I was insecure trying to convince myself that the most feminine beautiful woman I know is some how masculine and modern wtf is modern i wasn't true masculine I wasn't high value i was a loser that couldn't get off my ass for the woman I love and those ideas are disgusting even if you have money you shouldn't be allowed to cheat that's crazy I would just spew that horse shit when we argued she told me thats what really started pulling her away every time she argued that she needed help I started to act like it wasn't my place and that if I had a job I wouldnt have to clean but the truth is I got anxiety every time I saw those dishes piled up I felt like my chest was caving in same with laundry or any chores working out forced me to shower every day but I still made excuses not to shower we did 15-30 minute workouts if I had to go to the gym I might have died from getting fatter I lost my motivation and looking back I should have taken meds but I told y'all how my parents looked at medicine and my experience not to mention my girl trying to fix stomach problems and sleep problems literally experienced so many side effects I was just afraid to take the medicine but I wish I did because I would have saved my relationship neither one of us takes depression meds I looked for work but I don't even have a GED if you want that story I'll save it for the comments btw I forgot to say our child also gets a check so together we make enough money to live we just struggle for some wants everyone has clothes but there's not always a lot of money to shop for every one so we rotate between buying things for them and us through the months we even had to pay rent in two different places at the end of our lease and we made it happen off our checks and donating plasma we paid 2700 between two places with teamwork and sacrifice but like I said we broke up December 2023 we broke up and I was in denial and thought we were working out we were losing weight together going out doing couple things still having amazing sex it was always mutually great i was big on massages and running baths i was a great gift giver but I didn't lift a finger she was sick and all I did was roll a blunt and run a bath I was letting fruit flies fly around the house we were going out to eat spending money we didn't have to go out to eat that's why I gained all that weight in the first place I don't understand I love her and my kids with all my heart I never thought she would never leave me I was afraid she would leave but I just let it happen she is the love of my life afraid or not I should have taken the pills but that too gave me so much anxiety but I should have risked side effects feeling like a zombie sleeping all day anything is better than this because if I took the medicine we might still be together and since she was able to get past her depression and she feels like she was forced to get out of her depression because she was a mom she hates me she comes from a vacationing family I couldn't give them a lot of that but we still go camping and go out of town sometimes we have a car that's almost paid off but we are 32 and she has nothing to show for being with me but a car an apartment and no savings and if I loved her i would have tried harder but I couldn't i was paralyzed by depression and anxiety she doesn't believe me because she overcame her depression and anxiety we moved in our new place and I was planning on ending my life God spoke to me for the first time and my ex always wanted me to find God but my mom was gullible when it came to scamming preachers and she wasted so much of our money on books and prayer cloths that I went away from my faith for years so finding God was weird but I was accepting of his love he told me to fight for my family and that the path might be long but I can get my family back if im reborn and I make the promises I couldn't keep all of a sudden im reading the Bible every day cooking every day cleaning every day even looking for a job everyday but she says it's too late we sleep in the bed together so I don't have to sleep on the couch we slept together like twice but it didn't mean anything she wouldn't even kiss me and she cut me off we always promised we would at least have a sexual friendship relationship but i think i messed it up i just want to make it work i even told her she could have 2 boyfriends so I can work on being who she needs and have some one to help her with everything else until I can show I can be her problem solver she says it's over but we were in love for 14 years we were in love 6 months ago but in March I made a joke that killed us she was listening to a song called john redcorn and we got to arguing and I said that's some John redcorn shit she thought I meant my daughter our youngest and after what I put her through when she was pregnant she couldn't do it and like an idiot I doubled down and she thought i was saying our youngest wasn't mine it was horrible I told my kids everything they are 10 and 12 they lost hope in our relationship for a while but they want me back with they're mom I know I have to stay this man for the rest of my life if I want to get her back i have to work on communication and keep a job im even going back to counseling but she thinks I never loved her because I let it get this far what do I do?

Ok this is going to be a long one but this is my first ever post about my life this is a burner account. My girlfriend of 14 years broke up with me a few months ago and we still live together we broke up because I let myself get too far gone I suffer from depression and anxiety as well as PTSD from having an abusive schizophrenic mother who's a narcissist I also got into gangs when I was young to give you some background anyway our problems started almost a year into our relationship i didn't know i had PTSD yet but I got into fights with friends and even my dad a man I respect and am closer to than anyone other than my ex and my kids anyway I always had fits and one day she tried to hit me and I smacked her hand to the table she fractured her arm and I took her to the hospital she panicked and made up something about being jumped and the cops came and I think she told them I was the cause after a while but renigged her statement later they interrogated me for hours at the station I knew not to tell the police the truth is I felt bad I felt guilty I loved her so I told the truth we both missed each other and she lived with me and my parents we rented an apartment from my dad and him and my mom lived in another at the time we had a no contact order but she got on the phone when I called my parents and pretended to be someone else and we talked and they brought it up in court I ended up having to take a dv charge I was set to win the case but they used the phone calls against us and threatened charges on her and my parents if i didn't plead guilty so I pleaded guilty and when I got out she got pregnant she was working a good job at the time but she got into a car accident she already took a pregnancy test so we knew she was pregnant and I was happy I knew she would make a good mother and I knew i wanted her to be the mother of my children and my forever since the day we met we had already had a miscarriage and she had a whole in her heart from a child that she took care of in her past relationship she was a runaway and had past trauma of her own her mother was abusive as well and every boyfriend she ever had abused her I was supposed to be different I didn't know I was so broken if I knew I had PTSD I would have left her alone but we fell in love deeply I want to say nothing happened when she was pregnant but it did we got into a bad argument and I kicked the basinet and it hit her in the stomach immediately snapped out of it after that nothing else happened until the baby was born our child was born 3 weeks premature and was my pride and joy still is my ex had postpartum so I spent a lot of time with the baby and because of the accident my ex was passing out and having seizures which later we found out were psudo seizures but they felt real and sometimes she passed out or had a seizure and woke up not knowing where she was who she was who I was but she said my voice calmed her down and I was always able to bring her back to reality she got a few concussions from her seizures but also a few from me if I'm being honest I went to the neurologist with her because of the concussions she got from the seizures but to later give her one I was disgusted with myself but she couldn't work anymore so I looked for job i couldn't find anything so I worked for the apartments under the table but that dried up I found something else it dried up too I kept looking but it was useless I had to move back in with my parents with my ex and our first born they had a 3 bedroom and we paid them well she did I eventually got on SSI because of the physical pain from my mother's abuse bipolar disorder depression and PTSD I already went to get help when my ex was pregnant because I wanted to know why I was doing what I was doing my parents wanted me to get a check so they sent me to the counselor but I wanted to get help with my relationship and being honest helped me get my diagnosis but I lost that counselor like I lost every counselor I ever actually felt i could actually open up to anyway we are in my parents house and my mom is a big trigger for me we were paying rent and she accused us of stealing even coming in our room uninvited by then she was pregnant with our youngest and I wasnt perfect then either I was still struggling with my PTSD I did for years I pushed her in the closet and told her she couldn't leave my mom was there watching a constant trigger I snapped out of it but things got bad between my ex and my mom and they started to fight each other never physical but verbal and after she had the baby she almost died she lost a lot of blood I didn't know if I could trust my mom with the baby so I didn't go I still regret that decision but when she came back we waited for a few more and I used my back pay to get her a car and to get out of my mom's house our oldest has high spectrum autism and is really smart and talkative but after that short time living with my parents she developed selective mutism and we had to take her to speach therapy so we put up with roaches for 15 months just to get away from my mom and at the new place she got her lick back she was trying to beat on me and she was trying to stab me from time to time i had a PTSD attack and it would be back and forth but to be honest this started a new problem i was young and I used to flirt i kissed a girl once when we first started dating it was an ex she also slept with her ex best friend before I got locked up again just background truth is i was a flirt for a few years I was young and still searching for the approval i never got from my mom in other women I'm not proud of it though I was talking to women on Craigslist friends only and casual encounters sadly I wasn't trying to cheat i wanted someone i didn't know to talk to about my problem I stopped talking to all my female friends and she stopped talking to her male friends at each other's requests because of the cheating and I stopped talking to anyone that would be around a lot of women and all my other friends were either too gangster to listen or already in happy situations so I wanted to talk to a stranger that was a woman for advice I don't know what it is but women give better advice so I foolishly went to Craigslist and got caught but I ended up actually cheating months later with an ex that I thought I could be friends with but she was my first love and I told her some of what I was going through and we ended up having sex I was feeling guilty and took forever to get hard she had an IUD it was horrible tbh and on top of that she tried to 3 way my ex just to get me to admit it was her after my ex called her and acted like she wasn't the one i cheated with the whole time she tried to ruin my relationship after that after a year of trying and going to specialist my ex got her own SSI check and we got out of our roach infested apartment things were ok I had been trying to work on my triggers and had way less PTSD attacks and things were better for a few years she had a problem with me liking pictures on Instagram and I admit I hate being told what to do especially when I feel I'm doing nothing wrong and I was liking everything not just girls and I never commented anything but where did you get that shirt my girl would love that or happy birthday or thank you and I never slid in dms none of that I just liked pictures and I worked on it eventually because it was the only thing we argued about after a while but then everything changed we got into a big fight and I called her a name she ran at me got on the bed and punched me in the jaw so hard like I'm pretty tough I been hit in the face with a bat and when I tell you she hit me she hit me and when she went to hit me again I just reacted I flipped her then I blacked out I woke up and my hands were wrapped around her neck I snapped out of it and my parents took her to the hospital another thing I never learned to drive my step dad the man I call dad is a good man and a hard worker but he was a drug addict and a thug who was a alcoholic so he never had a license my whole life and my mom was to selfish to teach me I was always to poor for lessons my girl is the best driver I know but never taught me because she would say things like I'll be cheating as soon as I learn to drive so I never learned I regret that too anyway they took her to the doctor and she tore her hamstring I tried to take care of her but she wasn't having it she didn't stay rested she stayed on her feet one time she even punched me when I tried to help we were still in love but it was dying we eventually made up but every year after that she was telling me she needed help telling me she was falling out of love she asked me to help around the house I was lazy at the beginning of our relationship and I got used to her cleaning but by the time we got out of the roaches my depression got so much worse I was trying to get help until COVID kept losing counselors to the point I stopped telling them about my whole life and I started skipping straight to me and my ex I wanted help I was tired of hurting the woman I love but something else happened we got into an argument and I said something slick and she tried to stab me I evaded her and calmed her down but the argument went into the next day I locked myself in the bathroom and she tried to break the door down we had a sword in the bathroom for security and I threatened to stab her with it she had a panic attack and called the police I got a misdemeanor harassment charge but I never got mad I worked on myself I didn't want us to argue like that anymore I got out of jail and I was ordered to go to anger management I wish they made me go the very first time but when I went I embraced it and used it to help me with my triggers and that helped not only with my PTSD but with my fight or flight response as well after I got out I came clean about everything and even about the ex I cheated with man she beat me in the head so bad I got multiple concussions but I wasn't mad I actually felt good because I didn't black out I was doing it i was working on my triggers but we kept arguing and every year she told me that she still loves me and wants to make it work but she's losing interest and I told her I'd change and I wanted to but i couldn't my parents didn't take much medicine my mom took Wellbutrin and other things but they made her sleep all day she was dead to the world and I took paxil and Adderall as a kid and I felt like a zombie not to mention my dad was afraid of pills and side effects so I was afraid to take medicine but I needed it my depression was so far gone that I stopped feeling empathy I was empty and I let my guilt and regret and hatred of myself lead to more depression I'm a good singer and rapper I stopped doing music I blamed her but it was depression she suffers from cyclic vomiting syndrome and I just sat on my ass when she got sick I didn't help I wasn't doing dishes but I couldn't even wake up and take a shower or brush my teeth it was horrible I didn't love myself and I was angry at the world and I took it out on her I felt useless so when we argued about me not helping I called her useless everything I felt about me I projected onto her I was numb and I think she was too then I got on tiktok and found something I was good at again I got a lot of followers very quick but that one ex that I cheated with came back and this time It was innocent but my ex told me any interaction with her and it's over but she had a large following and I was trying to get paid but my ex found out and like an idiot I was trying to not delete or block her because im a man and I'm trying to get ahead you aren't a man you can't even help the woman you love you idiot then she kept telling me she was done but we dragged it on because we loved each other by December 2023 we were done but we were still acting like a couple I was in denial thinking we were fixing it because before my birthday at the beginning of 2022 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure I decided to have 1 last year of holiday food and going out to eat and we started working out 2023 and I have lost 108 lbs with her help and her love and support we started a diet and worked out in the house 5 days a week she saved my life once again of course I was in denial of course I was trying to work it out but those last few months were crazy that last year was crazy in 2022 she got into a car accident and she was sore for a while but she found out that she actually broke her rib and healed it messed up and never knew so she got into working out to lose weight and we started our diet in 2023 but in 2022 I found Kevin Samuels and all that alpha male red pill male chauvinist poison it was bull shit I was insecure trying to convince myself that the most feminine beautiful woman I know is some how masculine and modern wtf is modern i wasn't true masculine I wasn't high value i was a loser that couldn't get off my ass for the woman I love and those ideas are disgusting even if you have money you shouldn't be allowed to cheat that's crazy I would just spew that horse shit when we argued she told me thats what really started pulling her away every time she argued that she needed help I started to act like it wasn't my place and that if I had a job I wouldnt have to clean but the truth is I got anxiety every time I saw those dishes piled up I felt like my chest was caving in same with laundry or any chores working out forced me to shower every day but I still made excuses not to shower we did 15-30 minute workouts if I had to go to the gym I might have died from getting fatter I lost my motivation and looking back I should have taken meds but I told y'all how my parents looked at medicine and my experience not to mention my girl trying to fix stomach problems and sleep problems literally experienced so many side effects I was just afraid to take the medicine but I wish I did because I would have saved my relationship neither one of us takes depression meds I looked for work but I don't even have a GED if you want that story I'll save it for the comments btw I forgot to say our child also gets a check so together we make enough money to live we just struggle for some wants everyone has clothes but there's not always a lot of money to shop for every one so we rotate between buying things for them and us through the months we even had to pay rent in two different places at the end of our lease and we made it happen off our checks and donating plasma we paid 2700 between two places with teamwork and sacrifice but like I said we broke up December 2023 we broke up and I was in denial and thought we were working out we were losing weight together going out doing couple things still having amazing sex it was always mutually great i was big on massages and running baths i was a great gift giver but I didn't lift a finger she was sick and all I did was roll a blunt and run a bath I was letting fruit flies fly around the house we were going out to eat spending money we didn't have to go out to eat that's why I gained all that weight in the first place I don't understand I love her and my kids with all my heart I never thought she would never leave me I was afraid she would leave but I just let it happen she is the love of my life afraid or not I should have taken the pills but that too gave me so much anxiety but I should have risked side effects feeling like a zombie sleeping all day anything is better than this because if I took the medicine we might still be together and since she was able to get past her depression and she feels like she was forced to get out of her depression because she was a mom she hates me she comes from a vacationing family I couldn't give them a lot of that but we still go camping and go out of town sometimes we have a car that's almost paid off but we are 32 and she has nothing to show for being with me but a car an apartment and no savings and if I loved her i would have tried harder but I couldn't i was paralyzed by depression and anxiety she doesn't believe me because she overcame her depression and anxiety we moved in our new place and I was planning on ending my life God spoke to me for the first time and my ex always wanted me to find God but my mom was gullible when it came to scamming preachers and she wasted so much of our money on books and prayer cloths that I went away from my faith for years so finding God was weird but I was accepting of his love he told me to fight for my family and that the path might be long but I can get my family back if im reborn and I make the promises I couldn't keep all of a sudden im reading the Bible every day cooking every day cleaning every day even looking for a job everyday but she says it's too late we sleep in the bed together so I don't have to sleep on the couch we slept together like twice but it didn't mean anything she wouldn't even kiss me and she cut me off we always promised we would at least have a sexual friendship relationship but i think i messed it up i just want to make it work i even told her she could have 2 boyfriends so I can work on being who she needs and have some one to help her with everything else until I can show I can be her problem solver she says it's over but we were in love for 14 years we were in love 6 months ago but in March I made a joke that killed us she was listening to a song called john redcorn and we got to arguing and I said that's some John redcorn shit she thought I meant my daughter our youngest and after what I put her through when she was pregnant she couldn't do it and like an idiot I doubled down and she thought i was saying our youngest wasn't mine it was horrible I told my kids everything they are 10 and 12 they lost hope in our relationship for a while but they want me back with they're mom I know I have to stay this man for the rest of my life if I want to get her back i have to work on communication and keep a job im even going back to counseling but she thinks I never loved her because I let it get this far what do I do?

Hello! I would appreciate some guidance. I'll briefly summarize my situation, followed by the information/advice I hope to find. To be clear, I don't have a crowdfunding account and I'm not asking anyone here for money.
My father died in 2011 in a dreary, run-down nursing facility. A drunk driver hit him and my mother, the 'accident' broke his neck and he died a few months later. Just before he passed, I promised I'd look after my mom and make sure she wasn't alone and would never end up in such a place. I believe that comforted him, knowing she wouldn't end up alone and miserable.
I moved in with her in 2015 as her health began to deteriorate. I worked for the first several years following my relocation, but due to health complications, she lost her sight by 2021 and I haven't been able to work outside the home since. We live in a very rural area, miles outside the nearest town of roughly 1100. Since I moved down here, it's been difficult finding regular employment, I've mainly done small gigs for people who needed the help, such as yard work, housework, errands, helping to care for animals, moving, etc.
My parents were always blue-collar and of modest means. My father was a mill worker and my mom was a blackjack dealer. They're both salt-of-the-Earth types, far better people than I've ever been. Before I moved back home, I lived in a city three hours away and worked a variety of positions in social services and mental health. I've never made much money, but I enjoyed social work as helping people to establish more stability in their lives was deeply rewarding. I only wish I was half as helpful in solving my current crisis.
Pause: I don't know how to do this, I've never posted anything more than brief responses to others on Reddit; I'm out of my depth knowing what I should include or leave out when attempting to explain the trouble I'm having. Also, I tend not to do a bang-up job at brevity. I just want to provide a little background and put a little flesh on the bones, so to speak.
My mom is elderly and growing more frail; she cannot see and is prone to falling. She needs someone here at all times, save a brief run to the store or something of that nature. Although she was able to pay off the mortgage on her small home following my dad's death, she has no savings or assets, otherwise. She only has her monthly Social Security, which is less than $20k a year. I no longer have any income and have long since gone through the modest savings I'd managed to put away while I was working. I'm in the process of applying for a Medicaid waiver on her behalf, so I can start getting paid as her caregiver, but it's a process that may take several weeks - even months (home visits/assessments and processing the application and documents needed for evidence takes times). In the meantime, we're getting a little help with Meals on Wheels and Snap benefits, which I'm very grateful for, otherwise, all bills and cost of living are being covered by her small monthly stipend. I've learned to make do with very little, but I'm easy to please and don't need much.
The trouble is transportation. We had a 2008 Honda that is no more; the head gasket blew. We were able to buy it used during the pandemic for a few thousand, we chose the car because the proceeds were being sent to a benefit fund for Haiti. Aside from the lovely widow who lives next door, my mom and I aren't familiar with anyone in this area. We don't have extended family or friends, we're both fairly reclusive and shy - which becomes an enormous drawback when disaster strikes. We're stranded. So far, my elderly neighbor has been wonderfully generous in giving me rides to the store, pharmacy, etc. But I've always been an independent, DIY, self-sufficient sort of person and I can't express how difficult this has been, to have an expense we can't possibly afford and no other resources to replace the vehicle. Thankfully, there's often help available for utilities, food, clothing, even furnishings as well as financial assistance in accessing public transportation.
It's much more difficult when one lives in so rural an area, with no access to a bus or other modes of transportation. At least we have the option of scheduling rides for medical transportation, but there are so many other issues that come up that require a vehicle... like the dump! Our garbage has started to build up and I need to take it to the dump but I no longer have a way to do it. I'm scared and feel trapped, with no way to help my mom out of this pickle. The most ideal situation, in my mind, would be to live near an elderly couple who needs a LOT of work done both inside and outside of their home - and they just happen to have two cars, the second one they rarely use and no longer need. In exchange for that car, I'd devote a great deal of hard work and cheerful company and it'd be mutually beneficial. I've searched in different communities online, including Craigslist, but I haven't found any situations remotely like this. I also understand that many people are struggling right now and I live in a tiny community with very little opportunity or prosperity.
I apologize for the length of this post, it's difficult to condense my struggle down to a few tidy paragraphs. I just remember during the pandemic there was a YouTube channel I enjoyed watching and one day he put out a video sharing that one of his long-time viewers was having a hard time paying for her father's funeral expenses. Not only was she dealing with grief and loss, but she couldn't afford the cost of the casket and service, etc. I felt a great deal of compassion for her, so I donated some money through the link he provided. I had an income, at the time, and I wanted to help. I believe in the concept of paying it forward, and although it hurts me down to my core to ever ask anyone for any sort of financial assistance, I honestly don't know what to do. I've never had a 'gofundme' project/account and I have no idea how to create or promote one. That's part of the problem, in researching this, I learned that people generally raise money from their own community and family, through uploading videos of themselves. We don't know anyone in our community and we don't have any family to ask for help. Also, I'd rather swallow a bucket of nails than upload of video of my unremarkable, yet desperate self.
I suppose that's why this is such a tricky, prickly pear of a hardship. How can I ask strangers to help when I have nothing to give in return? If I had the guts for it, at the very least, I could upload a ridiculous video performing an interpretive dance of gratitude. If people had a ditch to dig, some dishes to wash, a car to detail, a goat to wrangle, I would give back. Heck, if you hit me up in a year, I'd be able to pay the favor forward to whoever is in need then. I'm not sure if any of this will even make sense, or if it'll be seen by no eyes and get lost in the void.
What I'm asking is if anyone knows of a proper crowdfunding site where I might have a chance to find assistance. Writing this has produced a roller coaster of emotions and I feel wrung out. It's so hard to ask for help, nobody owes me anything, and that is one thing I'm certain of.
If anyone has made it this far, I hope you're well and I wish you one hell of a marvelous day!
Oh, and I sincerely thank you for reading my words.
Wilhemina Mare
​

Ok this is going to be a long one but this is my first ever post about my life this is a burner account. My girlfriend of 14 years broke up with me a few months ago and we still live together we broke up because I let myself get too far gone I suffer from depression and anxiety as well as PTSD from having an abusive schizophrenic mother who's a narcissist I also got into gangs when I was young to give you some background anyway our problems started almost a year into our relationship i didn't know i had PTSD yet but I got into fights with friends and even my dad a man I respect and am closer to than anyone other than my ex and my kids anyway I always had fits and one day she tried to hit me and I smacked her hand to the table she fractured her arm and I took her to the hospital she panicked and made up something about being jumped and the cops came and I think she told them I was the cause after a while but renigged her statement later they interrogated me for hours at the station I knew not to tell the police the truth is I felt bad I felt guilty I loved her so I told the truth we both missed each other and she lived with me and my parents we rented an apartment from my dad and him and my mom lived in another at the time we had a no contact order but she got on the phone when I called my parents and pretended to be someone else and we talked and they brought it up in court I ended up having to take a dv charge I was set to win the case but they used the phone calls against us and threatened charges on her and my parents if i didn't plead guilty so I pleaded guilty and when I got out she got pregnant she was working a good job at the time but she got into a car accident she already took a pregnancy test so we knew she was pregnant and I was happy I knew she would make a good mother and I knew i wanted her to be the mother of my children and my forever since the day we met we had already had a miscarriage and she had a whole in her heart from a child that she took care of in her past relationship she was a runaway and had past trauma of her own her mother was abusive as well and every boyfriend she ever had abused her I was supposed to be different I didn't know I was so broken if I knew I had PTSD I would have left her alone but we fell in love deeply I want to say nothing happened when she was pregnant but it did we got into a bad argument and I kicked the basinet and it hit her in the stomach immediately snapped out of it after that nothing else happened until the baby was born our child was born 3 weeks premature and was my pride and joy still is my ex had postpartum so I spent a lot of time with the baby and because of the accident my ex was passing out and having seizures which later we found out were psudo seizures but they felt real and sometimes she passed out or had a seizure and woke up not knowing where she was who she was who I was but she said my voice calmed her down and I was always able to bring her back to reality she got a few concussions from her seizures but also a few from me if I'm being honest I went to the neurologist with her because of the concussions she got from the seizures but to later give her one I was disgusted with myself but she couldn't work anymore so I looked for job i couldn't find anything so I worked for the apartments under the table but that dried up I found something else it dried up too I kept looking but it was useless I had to move back in with my parents with my ex and our first born they had a 3 bedroom and we paid them well she did I eventually got on SSI because of the physical pain from my mother's abuse bipolar disorder depression and PTSD I already went to get help when my ex was pregnant because I wanted to know why I was doing what I was doing my parents wanted me to get a check so they sent me to the counselor but I wanted to get help with my relationship and being honest helped me get my diagnosis but I lost that counselor like I lost every counselor I ever actually felt i could actually open up to anyway we are in my parents house and my mom is a big trigger for me we were paying rent and she accused us of stealing even coming in our room uninvited by then she was pregnant with our youngest and I wasnt perfect then either I was still struggling with my PTSD I did for years I pushed her in the closet and told her she couldn't leave my mom was there watching a constant trigger I snapped out of it but things got bad between my ex and my mom and they started to fight each other never physical but verbal and after she had the baby she almost died she lost a lot of blood I didn't know if I could trust my mom with the baby so I didn't go I still regret that decision but when she came back we waited for a few more and I used my back pay to get her a car and to get out of my mom's house our oldest has high spectrum autism and is really smart and talkative but after that short time living with my parents she developed selective mutism and we had to take her to speach therapy so we put up with roaches for 15 months just to get away from my mom and at the new place she got her lick back she was trying to beat on me and she was trying to stab me from time to time i had a PTSD attack and it would be back and forth but to be honest this started a new problem i was young and I used to flirt i kissed a girl once when we first started dating it was an ex she also slept with her ex best friend before I got locked up again just background truth is i was a flirt for a few years I was young and still searching for the approval i never got from my mom in other women I'm not proud of it though I was talking to women on Craigslist friends only and casual encounters sadly I wasn't trying to cheat i wanted someone i didn't know to talk to about my problem I stopped talking to all my female friends and she stopped talking to her male friends at each other's requests because of the cheating and I stopped talking to anyone that would be around a lot of women and all my other friends were either too gangster to listen or already in happy situations so I wanted to talk to a stranger that was a woman for advice I don't know what it is but women give better advice so I foolishly went to Craigslist and got caught but I ended up actually cheating months later with an ex that I thought I could be friends with but she was my first love and I told her some of what I was going through and we ended up having sex I was feeling guilty and took forever to get hard she had an IUD it was horrible tbh and on top of that she tried to 3 way my ex just to get me to admit it was her after my ex called her and acted like she wasn't the one i cheated with the whole time she tried to ruin my relationship after that after a year of trying and going to specialist my ex got her own SSI check and we got out of our roach infested apartment things were ok I had been trying to work on my triggers and had way less PTSD attacks and things were better for a few years she had a problem with me liking pictures on Instagram and I admit I hate being told what to do especially when I feel I'm doing nothing wrong and I was liking everything not just girls and I never commented anything but where did you get that shirt my girl would love that or happy birthday or thank you and I never slid in dms none of that I just liked pictures and I worked on it eventually because it was the only thing we argued about after a while but then everything changed we got into a big fight and I called her a name she ran at me got on the bed and punched me in the jaw so hard like I'm pretty tough I been hit in the face with a bat and when I tell you she hit me she hit me and when she went to hit me again I just reacted I flipped her then I blacked out I woke up and my hands were wrapped around her neck I snapped out of it and my parents took her to the hospital another thing I never learned to drive my step dad the man I call dad is a good man and a hard worker but he was a drug addict and a thug who was a alcoholic so he never had a license my whole life and my mom was to selfish to teach me I was always to poor for lessons my girl is the best driver I know but never taught me because she would say things like I'll be cheating as soon as I learn to drive so I never learned I regret that too anyway they took her to the doctor and she tore her hamstring I tried to take care of her but she wasn't having it she didn't stay rested she stayed on her feet one time she even punched me when I tried to help we were still in love but it was dying we eventually made up but every year after that she was telling me she needed help telling me she was falling out of love she asked me to help around the house I was lazy at the beginning of our relationship and I got used to her cleaning but by the time we got out of the roaches my depression got so much worse I was trying to get help until COVID kept losing counselors to the point I stopped telling them about my whole life and I started skipping straight to me and my ex I wanted help I was tired of hurting the woman I love but something else happened we got into an argument and I said something slick and she tried to stab me I evaded her and calmed her down but the argument went into the next day I locked myself in the bathroom and she tried to break the door down we had a sword in the bathroom for security and I threatened to stab her with it she had a panic attack and called the police I got a misdemeanor harassment charge but I never got mad I worked on myself I didn't want us to argue like that anymore I got out of jail and I was ordered to go to anger management I wish they made me go the very first time but when I went I embraced it and used it to help me with my triggers and that helped not only with my PTSD but with my fight or flight response as well after I got out I came clean about everything and even about the ex I cheated with man she beat me in the head so bad I got multiple concussions but I wasn't mad I actually felt good because I didn't black out I was doing it i was working on my triggers but we kept arguing and every year she told me that she still loves me and wants to make it work but she's losing interest and I told her I'd change and I wanted to but i couldn't my parents didn't take much medicine my mom took Wellbutrin and other things but they made her sleep all day she was dead to the world and I took paxil and Adderall as a kid and I felt like a zombie not to mention my dad was afraid of pills and side effects so I was afraid to take medicine but I needed it my depression was so far gone that I stopped feeling empathy I was empty and I let my guilt and regret and hatred of myself lead to more depression I'm a good singer and rapper I stopped doing music I blamed her but it was depression she suffers from cyclic vomiting syndrome and I just sat on my ass when she got sick I didn't help I wasn't doing dishes but I couldn't even wake up and take a shower or brush my teeth it was horrible I didn't love myself and I was angry at the world and I took it out on her I felt useless so when we argued about me not helping I called her useless everything I felt about me I projected onto her I was numb and I think she was too then I got on tiktok and found something I was good at again I got a lot of followers very quick but that one ex that I cheated with came back and this time It was innocent but my ex told me any interaction with her and it's over but she had a large following and I was trying to get paid but my ex found out and like an idiot I was trying to not delete or block her because im a man and I'm trying to get ahead you aren't a man you can't even help the woman you love you idiot then she kept telling me she was done but we dragged it on because we loved each other by December 2023 we were done but we were still acting like a couple I was in denial thinking we were fixing it because before my birthday at the beginning of 2022 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure I decided to have 1 last year of holiday food and going out to eat and we started working out 2023 and I have lost 108 lbs with her help and her love and support we started a diet and worked out in the house 5 days a week she saved my life once again of course I was in denial of course I was trying to work it out but those last few months were crazy that last year was crazy in 2022 she got into a car accident and she was sore for a while but she found out that she actually broke her rib and healed it messed up and never knew so she got into working out to lose weight and we started our diet in 2023 but in 2022 I found Kevin Samuels and all that alpha male red pill male chauvinist poison it was bull shit I was insecure trying to convince myself that the most feminine beautiful woman I know is some how masculine and modern wtf is modern i wasn't true masculine I wasn't high value i was a loser that couldn't get off my ass for the woman I love and those ideas are disgusting even if you have money you shouldn't be allowed to cheat that's crazy I would just spew that horse shit when we argued she told me thats what really started pulling her away every time she argued that she needed help I started to act like it wasn't my place and that if I had a job I wouldnt have to clean but the truth is I got anxiety every time I saw those dishes piled up I felt like my chest was caving in same with laundry or any chores working out forced me to shower every day but I still made excuses not to shower we did 15-30 minute workouts if I had to go to the gym I might have died from getting fatter I lost my motivation and looking back I should have taken meds but I told y'all how my parents looked at medicine and my experience not to mention my girl trying to fix stomach problems and sleep problems literally experienced so many side effects I was just afraid to take the medicine but I wish I did because I would have saved my relationship neither one of us takes depression meds I looked for work but I don't even have a GED if you want that story I'll save it for the comments btw I forgot to say our child also gets a check so together we make enough money to live we just struggle for some wants everyone has clothes but there's not always a lot of money to shop for every one so we rotate between buying things for them and us through the months we even had to pay rent in two different places at the end of our lease and we made it happen off our checks and donating plasma we paid 2700 between two places with teamwork and sacrifice but like I said we broke up December 2023 we broke up and I was in denial and thought we were working out we were losing weight together going out doing couple things still having amazing sex it was always mutually great i was big on massages and running baths i was a great gift giver but I didn't lift a finger she was sick and all I did was roll a blunt and run a bath I was letting fruit flies fly around the house we were going out to eat spending money we didn't have to go out to eat that's why I gained all that weight in the first place I don't understand I love her and my kids with all my heart I never thought she would never leave me I was afraid she would leave but I just let it happen she is the love of my life afraid or not I should have taken the pills but that too gave me so much anxiety but I should have risked side effects feeling like a zombie sleeping all day anything is better than this because if I took the medicine we might still be together and since she was able to get past her depression and she feels like she was forced to get out of her depression because she was a mom she hates me she comes from a vacationing family I couldn't give them a lot of that but we still go camping and go out of town sometimes we have a car that's almost paid off but we are 32 and she has nothing to show for being with me but a car an apartment and no savings and if I loved her i would have tried harder but I couldn't i was paralyzed by depression and anxiety she doesn't believe me because she overcame her depression and anxiety we moved in our new place and I was planning on ending my life God spoke to me for the first time and my ex always wanted me to find God but my mom was gullible when it came to scamming preachers and she wasted so much of our money on books and prayer cloths that I went away from my faith for years so finding God was weird but I was accepting of his love he told me to fight for my family and that the path might be long but I can get my family back if im reborn and I make the promises I couldn't keep all of a sudden im reading the Bible every day cooking every day cleaning every day even looking for a job everyday but she says it's too late we sleep in the bed together so I don't have to sleep on the couch we slept together like twice but it didn't mean anything she wouldn't even kiss me and she cut me off we always promised we would at least have a sexual friendship relationship but i think i messed it up i just want to make it work i even told her she could have 2 boyfriends so I can work on being who she needs and have some one to help her with everything else until I can show I can be her problem solver she says it's over but we were in love for 14 years we were in love 6 months ago but in March I made a joke that killed us she was listening to a song called john redcorn and we got to arguing and I said that's some John redcorn shit she thought I meant my daughter our youngest and after what I put her through when she was pregnant she couldn't do it and like an idiot I doubled down and she thought i was saying our youngest wasn't mine it was horrible I told my kids everything they are 10 and 12 they lost hope in our relationship for a while but they want me back with they're mom I know I have to stay this man for the rest of my life if I want to get her back i have to work on communication and keep a job im even going back to counseling but she thinks I never loved her because I let it get this far what do I do?

More of a rant and looking for assistance but damn this is a bad time for used car buyers.
I was looking at a couple Subaru Foresters, 2017 and up. First one was a 17, 87k miles at 17k. Thing had hail damage on every body panel. Second was a 2021, selling for 2k over MSRP, with 11k miles. Last was alright, but had zero maintenance records at 47k miles. Also was 20k.
The real kicker at the end is they offered 500 for my truck on trade in.
Is this just where it's at everywhere? Honestly thinking of just buying new at this point, anything decent under 5 years is still like 25-30k.
Also private sale tips are appreciated. Denver FB and Craigslist is just filled with sleezebag used car dealers. They even post as an individual now.

I'm looking at a buying a used 2004 Honda Pilot from craigslist. Listed at $2,200, but I would offer $1500 - 1700. Goal would be to flip & make $1k.
This is the Craigslist listing. The car has some body damage & seems to have some rust damage as well.
Description from the craigslist post is as follows:
"Used used 196k Miles 2004 Honda Pilot 1-key and clear title Needs power driver seat fixed and radio in and out otherwise just got new truck , everyday driver Automatic air cruise tilt full power cold A/C Cd player heated seats leather Does have body damage
Great everyday runner"
Waste of time here? I feel like if the rust damage isn't super extensive & I could fix the body damage on the passenger side on the cheap, then I could sell for $3 - 4k.

I have a Lincoln Corsair that I am looking to sell or trade for $28,000 in the Winter Haven, FL area. The car is in good condition. It does have minor scratches and a dent on the passenger side. I can no longer carry the bill on this car and I am looking for ways to sell it off or trade it to a new person looking to buy a car. I even posted it on craigslist and I had one person who was interested but they turned out to be a scam. Any ideas on how to sell it. I cannot go to carmax or carvana they will only pay $14,000

I bought a car 3 years ago when I didn’t have a drivers license from someone on Craigslist. I never got the title transferred in my name due to no license and not knowing what to do in general, I was 19 and dumb and anxious. I now have my license and a different vehicle (registered and everything 🥳) but I have this other vehicle that I don’t know what to do with and I’m too embarrassed to ask anyone irl. I just need some guidance and maybe kind words on how much crap I’m in and how much this process is gonna suck. Thank y’all❤️

i have schizoaffective disorder depressive type. i went to the emergency mental health clinic and they said i am having a manic episode and it’s looking like i’m schizoaffective bipolar type.
my main issue right now that is really driving me crazy is my impulsiveness. i impulsively flew out of state to move but obviously didn’t plan it well and just trusted a guy off craigslist and of course it fell through so i had to move back. waste of time and money. i’m also impulsively spending money on food, plushies, almost bought a whole gaming laptop and had to be talked down by my grandma. i’m saving for a car and am NOT in any position to be wasting my money like this. but it’s like i’m uncontrollable and can’t stop. i’m so shakey and agitated and full of energy. i feel like i HAVE to do something. it’s driving me crazy

I got this car from an aging relative a couple of years ago and it's been driving great. But I've decided to move on from it because the key gets stuck in the ignition and I could not fix it with key lubricant. There are other lock issues too. Both fobs to unlock and lock the car are kaput. And the driver's side door can not be opened with the hard key. Only access is through the drivers side door. The cost of fixing these issues would be more than what I paid for the car. The tires are relatively new with like 10k on them. My question: what would be my best option for selling the car? Just an ad on craigslist being up front about the key issues? Work something out with the dealer who's selling me the new card? Just drive it one last time to the junk yard? Thank you for your opinion!

Employment gaps and time away from work.
After the COVID-19 pandemic, the restaurant where I was working had to close its doors. Myself, like the rest of the workforce, was laid off. This hurt me, deeply. What was I going to do? How was I going to survive, earn a living, pay my bills, and provide for my family? I became depressed since I was unable to find work for two years. I became behind in my rent, cellphone bill, car payments, and insurance. I couldn't even afford to pay for my tags. Or vehicle registration. I ended up working off jobs and gigs which I found on Craigslist. But these proved to be inconsistent, and unreliable, but I made due.
Sadly, however, we ended up losing our apartment and had to move in with my mother-in-law. This was a huge blow to my pride, sense of self, and self-respect. How pathetic I felt! An utter disgrace! A worthless man! However, I did enroll in an online theatre arts college. I enrolled, auditioned, and was accepted into the prestigious “Theatre of Arts” acting school. Originally I enrolled to pursue voice acting. Since I love anime, video games, and animated series. I love entertaining too. I thought, what a great opportunity this could be. I enjoyed every second of it. And, I learned so much. I received high marks and was told I am very talented, both in voice-overs, on stage, and in front of the camera.
After the pandemic restrictions were lifted, I was expected to relocate to Los Angeles to continue my education in person. I was excited by the prospect. The only difficulty was that I didn't have a job or anywhere to stay out there. My partner and I talked about it, and we decided I would travel alone. At first, this sounded like a good idea. This proved to be more than I had anticipated. I found it very difficult being separated from my partner and our son. I became distraught, and filled with despair. As the whole reason for me pursuing this, was to give them and myself a better life. And to pursue a career where I felt fulfilled. But what was all of this for, if they couldn't be there with me? If we couldn't experience this together. Insecurity and self-doubt took hold.
As I couldn't accomplish my goals with one foot in and one foot out. I took a leave of absence. The plan was once I could find employment and a home for all of us to live together. I’d return. We’d make the move together. And start our new life. But I couldn't find work in Southern California, no one was recruiting, no one was hiring, and rents weren’t getting any cheaper. The opposite actually! Demand was through the roof, and so was the cost of living. I applied to low-income housing but never heard back. I applied for job after job after job, to no avail. This drove me further into despair, so I returned to Fresno, hat in hand, feeling like an utter failure.
After returning and reflecting, on the past few years, and how everything affected me, I decided to make use of this time to gather myself, prioritize my wants and needs, and fix myself both emotionally and physically. Before I knew it, another two years had passed.
What was I going to do? How was I going to climb out of this hole? How did the time fly by so quickly? Who would hire me now? Each day, all of these questions and more swarmed inside my mind, and at my lowest, they consumed, and swallowed me whole!
But I'd had enough! I had had enough of worrying, enough anxiety, and enough victimizing myself! One day, finally, I decided. I was going to pick myself back up and get out of this misguided situation. “Misdirection is redirection”, as my wonderful ppartner and best friend pointed out; that the key is how I choose to view the situation and circumstances.
Today, I'm stronger than I've ever been; I exercise every day, eat healthier, smile more often, and make time for myself and my family. Overall, I feel like a new me. As a result of changing my eating habits and continuous activity, I’ve lost 40 pounds.
I once heard that there are no small achievements or victories, only small steps in the right direction, and as long as we continue to push forward, we are going to cross that finish line that seemed so far away. We just can't give up!
In conclusion, I’m proud of the progress I've made and look forward to achieving many more in the future. I no longer stress over what happened. As nothing will change what's done and gone. I've accepted all of it! And came to the realization, that sometimes it takes an unexpected downturn for one to gain perspective. For us to be grateful for the small things in life. I'm finally ready to come back to the world, pursue my goals, find employment, and start living again.
Best regards,
Jake Perkins

Employment gaps and time away from work.
After the COVID-19 pandemic, the restaurant where I was working had to close its doors. Myself, like the rest of the workforce, was laid off. This hurt me, deeply. What was I going to do? How was I going to survive, earn a living, pay my bills, and provide for my family? I became depressed since I was unable to find work for two years. I became behind in my rent, cellphone bill, car payments, and insurance. I couldn't even afford to pay for my tags. Or vehicle registration. I ended up working off jobs and gigs which I found on Craigslist. But these proved to be inconsistent, and unreliable, but I made due.
Sadly, however, we ended up losing our apartment and had to move in with my mother-in-law. This was a huge blow to my pride, sense of self, and self-respect. How pathetic I felt! An utter disgrace! A worthless man! However, I did enroll in an online theatre arts college. I enrolled, auditioned, and was accepted into the prestigious “Theatre of Arts” acting school. Originally I enrolled to pursue voice acting. Since I love anime, video games, and animated series. I love entertaining too. I thought, what a great opportunity this could be. I enjoyed every second of it. And, I learned so much. I received high marks and was told I am very talented, both in voice-overs, on stage, and in front of the camera.
After the pandemic restrictions were lifted, I was expected to relocate to Los Angeles to continue my education in person. I was excited by the prospect. The only difficulty was that I didn't have a job or anywhere to stay out there. My partner and I talked about it, and we decided I would travel alone. At first, this sounded like a good idea. This proved to be more than I had anticipated. I found it very difficult being separated from my partner and our son. I became distraught, and filled with despair. As the whole reason for me pursuing this, was to give them and myself a better life. And to pursue a career where I felt fulfilled. But what was all of this for, if they couldn't be there with me? If we couldn't experience this together. Insecurity and self-doubt took hold.
As I couldn't accomplish my goals with one foot in and one foot out. I took a leave of absence. The plan was once I could find employment and a home for all of us to live together. I’d return. We’d make the move together. And start our new life. But I couldn't find work in Southern California, no one was recruiting, no one was hiring, and rents weren’t getting any cheaper. The opposite actually! Demand was through the roof, and so was the cost of living. I applied to low-income housing but never heard back. I applied for job after job after job, to no avail. This drove me further into despair, so I returned to Fresno, hat in hand, feeling like an utter failure.
After returning and reflecting, on the past few years, and how everything affected me, I decided to make use of this time to gather myself, prioritize my wants and needs, and fix myself both emotionally and physically. Before I knew it, another two years had passed.
What was I going to do? How was I going to climb out of this hole? How did the time fly by so quickly? Who would hire me now? Each day, all of these questions and more swarmed inside my mind, and at my lowest, they consumed, and swallowed me whole!
But I'd had enough! I had had enough of worrying, enough anxiety, and enough victimizing myself! One day, finally, I decided. I was going to pick myself back up and get out of this misguided situation. “Misdirection is redirection”, as my wonderful ppartner and best friend pointed out; that the key is how I choose to view the situation and circumstances.
Today, I'm stronger than I've ever been; I exercise every day, eat healthier, smile more often, and make time for myself and my family. Overall, I feel like a new me. As a result of changing my eating habits and continuous activity, I’ve lost 40 pounds.
I once heard that there are no small achievements or victories, only small steps in the right direction, and as long as we continue to push forward, we are going to cross that finish line that seemed so far away. We just can't give up!
In conclusion, I’m proud of the progress I've made and look forward to achieving many more in the future. I no longer stress over what happened. As nothing will change what's done and gone. I've accepted all of it! And came to the realization, that sometimes it takes an unexpected downturn for one to gain perspective. For us to be grateful for the small things in life. I'm finally ready to come back to the world, pursue my goals, find employment, and start living again.
Best regards,
Jake Perkins

Residential Contracting 101
With over 20 years of building experience, I would like to share with you my insights in navigating becoming a successful contractor. With many different avenues of the building world its key to understand what problems will arise on any given day. A man once told a saying that stuck-the 6 p’s in life- Piss Poor Preparation leads to Piss Poor Performance. Preparation builds everything in construction, without preparation the jobsite will not run correctly. The best advice I was ever given was to learn a little about every trade giving you the ability to understand trade lingo and secrets. An example would be painters use the terminology flash; this means when the sub structure bleads through the paint. Subcontractors will give the best pricing if they respect your knowledge of the industry. If the subcontractor feels they will have to hold your hand through the job they will charge an extra fee…i.e. I call it the aggravation fee. In this blog I will explain the key elements in finding success in all aspects of the industry. Contracting is a physically and emotionally demanding job which requires planning and foresight to complete projects on time within budget. Picking your customer is just as important as picking your employees or subcontractors. I have worked for some of the most demanding customers leading me to question at the end if the job was even worth it. Sleepless nights, constant changes, lack of payment, lawsuit threats, adding work that was in the contract are just a few things you could face with a tough customer. With so many moving parts at all times it is critical to be able to adapt to changes within a short time frame. Materials will come in damaged, subcontractors will be late, employees will get sick, but the deadline you set does not change. The stress can be overwhelming at times keeping your mind in a good place is key to navigating all that is thrown at you. Choosing your client picking the right jobs-Keep these questions in mind The first question to be asked is what the time frame is to start the job to see if it fits within the timeframe for your business. If the time frame doesn’t work then move on from the project or let them know when you would be available to start. If the client really wants to use, they will wait until you are available. Taking on too much work will only lead to problems. Construction is a serviced based business, staying on top of the project and client will eliminate an unhappy customer and construction issues that will be over seen. With online presence if details are missed and customer service lacks it will only be a matter of time the phone will not ring. The second question to be asked to the client is do they have a budget in mind for the project. If they answer yes this is good, follow through with what the budget is. If the budget seems low let them know, this will eliminate a tire kicker, educate them on what the price range could be. If the budget seems reasonable then continue the discussion to the next question. If they answer no let them know that you can give them an estimate to see if the project is feasible with their finical capabilities. Taking on a job that is not correctly budgeted will lead to an unsatisfied customer due to non-transparency of the construction cost. The third question to be asked is anyone else bidding on the job, if the answer is yes, understand you might just be number check for the contractor doing the job. Dig a little deeper and find out how many numbers they are getting and why. If your business model is to be competitive be completely transparent with customer, this will gain trust with them. Let them know you get what you pay for and if you they choose the lowest bid it could lead into lack of quality of work.
The fourth question I will ask is there any specific subcontractors they wanted to use. If the answer is yes then I would explain to them you only use the subcontractors you have a working relationship with. Otherwise, this could backfire as the subcontractor might not show, do subpar work, talk behind your back to the homeowner. In my experience I would stay away from using any homeowner to alleviate problems down the road. A quick conversation now can save headaches down the road. The fifth question I will ask are planning on getting the job permitted, this needs to be known it takes more time for the permitting process. Plans will have to drawn submitted and approved to the city before work can commence. The sixth question I will ask if a residential remodel is are you going to be living through the remodel if yes understand this will take more time to navigate the project due to answering questions and cleaning the house on a daily occurrence. I would recommend seeing if the customer would be willing to move into an Airbnb or friends for at least the demo portion of the project. If they do plan on living through the remodel add a couple hours a day to accommodate the extra time that will be required. The seventh question I would ask in a residential remodel is how old the house is to see if there is asbestos that would need to removed by a proper company. A home built before 1979 will most likely have some asbestos in the house, use a licensed company with proper insurance to dispose of the materials. If everything looks good to this point find out a little more about the client personality. If the client seems reasonable, I would bid the job. Unreasonable people can cause you more stress than its worth. These are some red flags I would look out for. Some jobs are not worth the money. Very demanding in the way you are going to perform your job- I.e., tell you how you are going to do your job- You’re the professional not them! Give you a hard time about your price- haggle with price you estimated- The price is the price! If they are a family with little money and you want to help them out is one thing, if they are trying to beat you down is another. Mention they have a lawyer-there is no need for them to bring up that they have a lawyer - Run for the hills as if the job goes south, you will be the one losing out! Tell you what the payment terms are. It’s your business you get paid how it works for your company. If you want to get paid every Friday, put it into your contract-If the clients do not agree move on it will save you frustrations If they talk bad about the last contractor, chances are they will talk bad about you. There is a reason why the contractor does not work for them anymore, unless he did subpar work this a red flag Clients are using an interior decorator that will purchasing all of the materials- The materials could be ordered incorrectly by the interior designer your company will not make the mark-up it deserves. Interior decorators usually add time to the job as well as act like your boss. Charging a little extra for the time and stress that it will entail is only fair. Clients want to purchase the materials- You are using your knowledge to buy the correct materials-The mark up on the materials keeps the doors open working for wages only pays the bills The husband and wife do not get along-You will become the mediator between the couple it will lead to taking sides a losing proposition- A drama free work place is always best! Dangling carrot-if you do this job the next one will be better-Only look at what there offering at the present moment, if its not a good fit do not take the job for a job down the road…Its not worth chasing a job that might not happen! The Art of the Sale First things first selling your company is all about presentation. In meeting your clients for the first time show up with a collared golf shirt tucked in, belt, nice jeans, and newer shoes. Have a truck that a clean, no dents scratches, preferably washed the day you are going into your meeting. Have a leather note pad that is clean no dirt or paint visible. Show up 5 minutes early, if you’re running a little late shoot them a text to let them know. Treat the situation as if were going on a first date, best foot forward. As you introduce yourself give them a warm greeting, letting them know you are very interested in the work. Find out a little about them, hobbies, where they lived, etc etc. You are going to be working with them on a daily basis its nice to know what makes them tick. Having a good working relationship from the start is key forming a solid relationship. As the conversation progresses find out who wears the pants in the family…ie who’s the final decision maker. If its fits the wife, chances it is…..then kindly let the husband know happy wife happy life when their in a stall mate on an issue. As your looking at the project throw in some suggestions of what you think would look good from past experiences, this will get their attention that you have knowledge and want what’s best for them. If you see ways to save them money in their project let them know, money is a large point of the sale keep that in mind. Mention that you’re not the least expensive contractor but you’re not the most expensive either. Your customer satisfaction is your number one goal which leads to more time spent on keeping them happy. One happy customer will lead to another, one unsatisfied customer leads to work in the future. Bring up the fact the finishing the job on time is key goal to your business, many contractors run several jobs at once causing the jobs to be finished way behind schedule. You must stand out as having integrity, good morals, and the ability to problem solve to get the job. The clients will be testing you to see if you’re a good fit as well. Keep in mind as you take your notes that you must not forget anything they mention as it will come back before the job is completed…i.e. we mentioned that to you before we started the job! Take pictures of the proposed area for work, that way you can use it to better right your estimate. Let them know you will give them a detailed outline of when the job will be completed letting them see how long each phase will take and correlate it with your payment schedule. Before you leave their house let them know when the estimate will be sent to them. MAKE SURE YOU HIT THAT DEADLINE! Once you sent the email over with estimate make sure you get confirmation that they received it. Wait at least 2 days before checking with them, hopefully they contact you first! If they want negotiate the price, let them know that it is the best price that you can manage, its not worth losing money before you start. I closed 80% of the work I estimated by being very transparent and friendly. If you come off with an attitude charge double what the going rates are you might only land 1 out of 10 jobs as well as getting the reputation of being expensive. Bidding the job Looking up industry standards on pricing is what I would go buy for pricing. If you google the coat of any installation there will be a cost range for everything. Looking at the cost ranging from high to low I would tend to be in the middle. Some items might be low on the internet if this is the case use your best judgment not to lose money. Closing sales is key to success and keep the doors open for business. Being in the middle on pricing is key as most customers shy away from contractors that are extremely low or high on the price range. I tend not bid out hourly as wages do not pay for retirement. Bidding is better as customers no the exact price of the cost of construction. It also keeps the job moving quicker as time and material contractors take longer to complete projects…Thus costing the client more money and valuable time they could spend in their house. Using a Contract Using a detailed estimate tied to a contract covers your butt in 99% of the time. Having a piece of mind that every aspect of the job is covered in the estimate and contract protects both your company and the client. Key terms to include in your estimate/contract are. Have a schedule on excel showing the start dates and dates of each trade this will show the customer you are organized with time lines. If not written in the detailed in the estimate the item is excluded- This ensures if its not written down its not included. TBD- To be Determined- A phrase on a line item that has yet to had final decision of products or service needed. -The pricing will follow the decisions to be finalized Give out what your written warranty will be for parts and labor this changes state to state. If the homeowner provides the product than no warranty will be given on that particular item. In the contract have a start date and end date with the verbiage subject to change due to weather, product delivery, change orders Have a progress payment schedule to ensure the client understands when funding will be expected-Including if not payment is rendered service to the project will stop. Have written terms of how change orders will be charged-cost plus 20% or a set fee Make sure in your contract that arbitration is required versus going to court- This will save lawyer fees and going to court Many contracts can be found online and each state requires different contracts
Finding leads Finding leads is easy with the right network of people. I personally do not find working for friends or family members a good fit. Relationships get strained when money is involved, causing undue stress for both parties. I have listed a couple of ways to build a network or find work using the internet. Get in contact with realtor’s- Realtors have a big client base of homeowners who need work done Contact local Architects to see if they are working with any general contractors Leave some business cards at your local materials suppliers-Doowindow/lumber-many times clients will ask salesman for a referral. Join a business networking group- BNI is one of many Join a internet website lead generation company- Houzz, Angie’s List, Home Advisor, thumbtack, Yelp run an ad on craigslist Use a marketing company to market your website-This could become costly with little results Create a Facebook business page Create a Yelp business page
Building your subcontractor base Having 2 subcontractors for every trade, gives you the flexibility of completing jobs on time if the one the subcontractors is too busy at the time you need their service. Your subcontractors are the face of your business, choose owner run companies that are professional. Check to make sure there license are up to date..ie workman’s comp, liability insurance, state license. Choosing subcontractors with lettered vans, logoed t-shirts is s key to looking professional in the clients’ eyes. In the past I have gotten a lot of subcontractors for material supply shops, stopping by jobsites, researching the internet using Yelp, Home Advisor, etc etc. Once you get one good subcontractor ask them if they know any other trades they would recommend. One good subcontractor leads to another in most cases. The key to having a good group of subcontractors is to let them know that you are there to get help them get the job done. They do work for you but without them you are nothing…keep that in mind! Make them aware a clean jobsite is required at the end of everyday to ensure the proper safety for all parties including theirs! Over the years I have referred a lot of companies work when there is only 1 trade needed. Referring work to subcontractors is a good way to get top priority when you have work that needs to be completed ASAP. Timing is everything in times of emergency having a good group of subcontractors will make your business run smoothly. Pay your subcontractors immediately after performing work, this will make them feel appreciated! A happy subcontractor is one that will gladly go the extra mile for you knowing that there not just a number to your business! Buying lunch once a week for the jobsite is always a good token of appreciation!
Supervising In supervising any jobsite its key to monitor everything from materials on hand, weather, vehicle parking (if applicable), jobsite safety, and subcontractors’ workmanship. If you hired a professional there should be little supervision in the work being performed, on rare occasions a new hire might need some mentoring to get the results completed correctly. If you see a problem with there work address it with the worker directly, no need to call his boss…. building repour with the worker letting him know you got his back goes miles down the road! Checking in on the job first in the morning to answer any questions or changes that need to be conveyed and once in the afternoon to make sure all work be completed is done per construction industry standards. A job that is run blindly will have many more issues than one that is watched over. I have seen many jobs with no site supervision, leading to subpar quality work as well as safety hazards. Its better to be like an eagle than cluck like a turkey!
Working with the City/Inspectors On permitted jobs the city and site inspector will be a large part of how smoothly the job runs. Each phase of construction has an inspection allowing for the project to continue. Make sure your subcontractors are aware that the project is inspected before starting the job. The best way to stay on his good side is to provide a clean jobsite and having the job built to the highest standards possible. When having the site inspected be courteous to the inspector asking any questions or concerns you have with the work during the job. Being completely transparent will save you aggravation of problems down the road. The more he trust you the better if you seem sneaky or rude he will make your life a living nightmare! Many inspectors will have an attitude towards you….I suggest keeping quiet and doing what ever he wants….he’s the boss no need to get in a pissing match you will not win at. How to deal with irate customer Stay calm during any argument with an irate customer. Never raise your voice or show that you are bothered by their disgruntled behavior. If the customer is trying to get more from you than agreed upon stand your ground. Worst case scenario is you walk from the job, which in the long run be more of a loss for the client. I have only run into a couple of these clients; they are unreasonable and not worth losing sleep over a few dollars. Its best to terminate the relationship as it would be my best guess that a referral from this customer would not be one you wanted anyway. If you feel it was just a miscommunication on your end, take reasonability and remedy the problem. Taking accountability for your mistake will go a far way in their eyes and on future issues that arise. Prepping the homeowner pre-construction Before starting the job, it very important to give the homeowners a warning of what will happen during the construction process.

1. All furniture in the proposed working area must be moved- I would recommend having the clients take care of this to limit the risk of damage to their belongings.
2. There will be dust that will be in the house up to 3 months after construction-I would recommend hiring a construction cleaning company at the end of the job even so after it is cleaned dust will be present months after words.
3. There will be conflicts between you in the homeowner at some course of the job. - You will do your best to eliminate them as quickly as they arise-i.e. material damages, miscommunication, job delays
4. All decisions on materials must be made before the start of the job- this will eliminate job stoppage due to materials not being on site.
5. All materials will be on site before commencement of job-
6. Payment structures must be made per contract otherwise job will stop until payment rendered
7. Cars are to be moved out of the driveway- Ensures ease of loading and unloading of materials/tools
8. Give the specific hours that workers will be present- i.e. 7-3:30
9. Determine what areas are allowed to be used as staging for tools/materials
10. If animals are present in the home that they put outside or in a room during the day
11. All valuables in the house are locked in safe
12. Ask if using client’s household bathroom is okay or to bring in Porter Potty
13. Being transparent as possible is key to keeping a great relationship with your client!

During Construction During construction it is key to take detailed photos to eliminate any damages that were not caused by the construction process. I would also make a video to ensure all areas are included. All subcontractors should also take progress pictures to ensure if problems arise in the future, they will not be responsible for any work that they did not perform. Keep an on-going log of progress to the homeowners and share the pictures for there records. This will keep homeowners excited of the progress being made. When the house is gutted to the studs it is important to have construction photos showing where all utilities are run in the walls or sub floor. If there is a problem in the future there will photos showing all utility locations. Protect all flooring with plywood or floor protective. I also like to protect front door and tarp all areas where subcontractors are to be working. Make sure to cover any chandeliers/furniture/doorways with plastic to eliminate dust. Ask the homeowners if they have any concerns that they could think of. We’re all human and possibly a detail was missed! Post Construction Phase If the project went smoothly appreciation should be shown to the customer. Find out if the husband likes a particular type of liquor. Bring the wife a bouquet of flowers. Send a Christmas card to the family letting how much you appreciated the work. You know you have done a good job if they tell you they will refer you to their friends. The best compliment you could receive is a good referral. In Summary Try to find a knitch in the market, I found kitchens to be a great remodel projects. Bathrooms are tough as they are small, expensive with little profit margin with every trade involved. Windows/doors are also another great knitch as they can be installed quickly. There are so many different remodeling items that can be stream lined to make the selling installing process flawless. Once the core group subcontractors are in place the job almost runs itself. Every day is a learning experience with new materials or methods in construction. Keeping up with codes, materials, fluctuating labor and material cost is a job within itself. Anyone can be a contractor with the right mindset.

TL;DR - DealNow is a way to skip the listing and use our transaction tech. Learn more here.
DealNow is perfect for two types of people:

• Sellers who already found a buyer and simply want a safe & secure way to receive the buyer's money
• Buyers who found a great for-sale-by-owner car and want an easy way to transfer the funds & close the deal.

Sellers who have already found a buyer don't need to list their car... they already have a buyer! By using DealNow, sellers can verify the buyer's identity, e-sign the bill of sale, and instantly receive the funds from the buyer on the spot.
Buyers can have their funds ready to go in their PrivateAuto Pay account so when they find a vehicle they want, they can invite the seller to close the sale on PrivateAuto and instantly transfer the money. No need to fumble through other payment methods. Plus, the seller can verify that you actually have the funds ready!
Here are a few situations that show where DealNow is perfect:

1. Ryan listed his Ford Raptor for sale on Craigslist. Samantha wanted to buy it but had no easy way to send $54,000 to Ryan. She asked him if they could complete the deal on PrivateAuto and sent him a DealNow link. Ryan accepted, and Samantha scheduled a test drive with the PrivateAuto in-app scheduler. At the test drive, Samantha loved the truck. They went through PrivateAuto’s step-by-step process, including signing the bill of sale. Samantha sent the money. Ryan got it instantly. Ryan transferred the title to Samantha and handed over the keys. Everyone lived happily ever after.
2. Katie was selling her Toyota Corolla on Facebook Marketplace. Mia responded to the listing and wanted to buy the car. Katie saw that she and Mia had two mutual friends, which made her feel slightly better about doing business with her. Still, she knew that Facebook Marketplace doesn’t have many safeguards or transactional features, and she’d recently heard how smooth and secure PrivateAuto was. She quickly entered the relevant details into the DealNow workflow and shared the link with Mia. The rest is history.
3. Raoul was thinking of selling his late model BMW M3. His cousin happened to know that a coworker, Chase, wanted to buy a low-mileage M3. The cousin connected Raoul and Chase. Raoul and Chase used DealNow to quickly conclude the transaction, including the $72K payment.

Think of it like Venmo... but for vehicle transactions!

I was sent here from the frugal subreddit as they figured I’d get better advice here.
I'm low income (I make 32k a year) and after all of my expenses, I'd say I have around 400$ to save. I no longer get food stamps, but I do get energy assistance. So I've been putting money away monthly and I have roughly $4,400 saved up over the past 2 years. Thing is, public transportation isn't good where I live, and I currently have to rely on my family/friends/boyfriend to take me where I need to go, including getting groceries and I'm starting to feel like a nuisance to them. I've asked my parents to help me with a car, offering to pay them back over time instead of dealing with interest rates etc. but they said that I'm on my own. It's frustrating because I have never broken their trust or given them a reason to think it would be a bad idea (and my younger brother got a car handed to him...but whatever). So I walk everywhere (including work).
To those of you who were in similar situations as mine, how did you manage to get a car? It seems like even old cars nowadays are at least $15,000+, so saving up to just buy cash would take eons, and even with my large down payment, the car payment and insurance alone would eat up all of my money after my expenses (that's assuming I only give myself $100 a month for groceries). I want a car that will last a long time so I don't have to live with a car payment but I'm afraid that once I get a car, I'll be more broke than I am now. I'm afraid to buy off of Facebook marketplace or Craigslist because I don't want to drop 3,000 on a piece of junk that will break down in a year.

Moving from out of state in 2-3 months and my family is looking for a rental. We’ve been monitoring Zillow and Craigslist and honestly see nothing new posted.
I’m aware of how crazy the market is- is nothing posted because things go so quickly? Am I not looking in the right places? How are people from out of state supposed to move to Seattle?
For some context, we’re a family of 5 (3 young kids). We need a 3 BR minimum. Ideally more than that. Budget 7k or less, but we would flex to find a good place. Commute to downtown within 45 min or less one way (car, bike, train, whatever).
Also: is moving to Seattle even worth it? I have serious cold feet. It seems like a great place but not when you can’t even find a place to live 😑. (This question is mostly rhetorical, as we’re moving for a job so we’re going whether I like it or not).

Hey all, so I'm low income (I make 32k a year) and after all of my expenses, I'd say I have around 400$ to save. I no longer get food stamps but I do get energy assistance. So I've been putting money away monthly and I have roughly $4,400 saved up over the past 2 years. Thing is, public transportation isn't good where I live, and I currently have to rely on my family to take me where I need to go, including getting groceries and I'm starting to feel like a nuisance to them. I've asked my parents to help me with a car, offering to pay them back over time instead of dealing with interest rates etc. but they said that I'm on my own. It's frustrating because I have never broken their trust or given them a reason to think it would be a bad idea (and my younger brother got a car handed to him...). So I walk everywhere (including work).
To those of you who were in similar situations as mine, how did you manage to get a car? It seems like even old cars nowadays are at least $15,000+, so saving up to just buy cash would take eons, and even with my large down payment, the car payment and insurance alone would eat up all of my money after my expenses (that's assuming I only give myself $100 a month for groceries). I want a car that will last a long time so I don't have to live with a car payment but I'm afraid that once I get a car, I'll be more broke than I am now. I'm afraid to buy off of Facebook marketplace or craigslist because I don't want to drop 3,000 on a piece of junk that will break down in a year.

Title basically says it all. I posted my car for sale on Facebook marketplace a week ago and haven’t even reached 50 clicks. No inquiries either. Wondering if y’all have had experience with Craigslist recently and how it went? My Dad used to buy cars, fix them up, and sell them on there all the time, but that was a decade or more ago. Is it still alive and well in Jax?

I'm in a situation where I have to commute about 160km three or four times per week for work, so I'm looking at getting a used Prius to cut fuel costs. To my eye, many of the cars I see on FB marketplace or Craigslist seem relatively expensive for their age and mileage; however, this is my first time shopping for a hybrid or EV, and the expectations for these types of vehicles seem different than those for ICE vehicles. For an ICE, I would expect a 15 year old vehicle or one with over 250,000km to have prohibitively high maintenance costs, but it seems like many Prius owners are still happy with vehicles of this vintage.
Is this the case? If you were in my shoes, how old would a vehicle have to be or how high would the mileage have to be for you to no longer consider it? Are there any model years of prius which I should avoid? How are prius maintenance costs?

I couldn’t believe my eyes, there it was clear as day! For a better part of the last six months all I could think about was getting my hands on a Corvette. But not just any Corvette, it had to be a 1976 Stingray in golden yellow. It was the same kind that my dad had when I was growing up.
I remember the trips through the winding forest roads on the way to school feeling the wind ravaging my hair inside the open T-Top. The sound of the beefy V8 as it opened up and we cruised down the street going 80 would fill my ears and hasn’t left them in the twenty five years since. I felt like the coolest kid in school arriving in style every morning.
But things change, mom and dad split up and he took the Corvette with him. A few years later mom told me that the Stingray was gone for good and not too long after it was my dad’s turn to leave us. Mom passed last summer, I suppose all this loss just triggered a response in me. Got me feeling all sentimental and my happiest memories were sitting inside of that car. I needed one of my own.
Hence my excitement as I sat at the local library eyes glued to the computer showing the Craigslist ad. I must have read over the description at least ten times. 1976 Chevy Corvette Stingray in blazing yellow with only 35,000 original miles. Found in someone’s grandma’s garage after being left to rot for thirty years. And they only wanted $1,500 bucks for it!
Without hesitation I gave them a call and we had a date. They were a little short on the phone but I figured they just weren’t the talking type. My excitement was beyond words. I had a friend drive with me on the way since I didn't want my personal car stuck so far away from home.
We drove about two and a half hours out into the middle of nowhere. Heavy traffic and bad navigation cost us a lot of daylight. It was nearly sundown when we finally arrived. My friend stayed behind as I walked up their driveway trying to sneak a look at my new baby. Strangely I couldn’t find the car even as I wandered far onto their property. I tried calling the seller but reception was so bad it didn’t even ring.
That was when I saw it, I could barely make out the edges of it in the dying light. A freshly dug hole six feet long and about two feet wide. Disrespectfully shallow. I froze where I stood. Slowly I regained motion and sprinted back to the car and jumped in the passenger seat. I yelled to my friend to drive only to see that his seat was empty and the door ajar. I turned around in horror to see a dark mass quickly approaching.

Hi everyone - first time poster here but long time Land Rover fan. My dad had a 1992 Range Rover Classic when I was young and I recently imported a 92 D90 from overseas which was a major bucket list item for me.
I split time between NY and CA and because of CARB rules, I'm leaving the Defender in NY. Getting an NAS D90 is impractically expensive, to say nothing of the impracticality for someone with two kids in car seats.
Get to the point already, right? Well I want to scratch the Rover itch in CA and need something that fits kids, can get to Tahoe, and is an automatic. It would replace an old Subaru outback as our second car.
I drove by what I now know to be a 2002 Kalahari Discovery for sale in my neighborhood. It's pretty sweet, and from what I've been able to consume on Discos in the past few days is a very cool limited edition. I just don't know the right questions to ask so I thought I'd come here.
This is the CL post: https://sfbay.craigslist.org/nby/cto/d/mill-valley-special-edition-land-rove7742139687.html
A few questions: (1) how do the engines on these hold up? (2) what other issues are common? (3) how are they on the highway? (4) I can't find many pics of the Kalahari with Camel stickers. Did they leave the factory like that? (5) What else should I be asking?
Note I've messaged with the seller - seems like a really good dude and I'm inclined to trust him (and hi if you are reading this). Has a few other Land Rovers and seems passionate about them. Just want to make sure I do my homework.

Hey, Reddit! I just wanted to give you guys some more stories about my Kevin, who is, unfortunately, the supplier of my genetic material (ie, he’s my father.) For those who missed the first stories, you can find the link here: https://www.reddit.com/StoriesAboutKevin/comments/16byk04/my_dad_the_kevin/
There were some excellent responses to the first post, including several requests for a part two. Myself and my brother (who goes by the username u/undercookedbrotato for the purposes of this thread) sat down together and cobbled together some more memories of Kevin, along with our Mom. And you know what? It truthfully was kinda painful. Kevin was cruel and selfish. He sacrificed the financial stability of his family for his own short-term happiness and actively tried to sabotage his spouse’s and his children’s academics and careers for no other reason than he was jealous. We’re just thankful that Kevin is also unbelievably moronic, and so most of these ploys ended quickly. We laugh now, because what else is there to do?
Anyway, just a quick note about me and u/undercookedbrotato. There’s a big age gap between us. I was born in the early ‘80s, and I wasn’t born until the mid-90s. The end result is that both of us have stories of Kevin that span 40 years. Kevin, himself, is a Baby Boomer, and has been inflicted upon this world for nearly seven decades.
A few things to remind our readers of: Kevin failed to achieve much of anything due to his ineptitude, laziness, and sense of entitlement. He is horrible with money and was frequently unfaithful during his marriage. He successfully summited the peak of Dunning-Kruger’s “Mount Stupid” and took pride in never descending. Summiting ANYTHING was amazing for Kevin; he only stood at 5’1”, and his vertical challenges would send him into a sputtering rage if anybody made a comment about it. He loved weather, porn, and amateur radio, and drove everybody nuts with his obsessions.
And here’s one more thing about Kevin: the man was made of teflon. We’re not quite sure why providence likes him so much, but he seemingly is always escaping from the consequences of his bad behavior–or he is at least able to foist them off on somebody else.
Kevin is still alive, but this entire thing is written like he’s not. You see, Kevin has developed Alzheimer’s, and now he spends his days in a memory care unit. A rather inglorious end to a life defined by snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. And maybe that’s for the best.
As before, we’ve selected only the juiciest bits. If this update seems a little more bitter than the last, I think you’ll see why. Apologies in advance. So anyway, without further ado . . . the continuing adventures of our Dad, the Kevin.
*Kevin had done a stint of active duty in the Air Force. The fact that he had managed to complete a term of enlistment without getting himself or somebody else killed still mystifies us. We’re even further gobsmacked when we realize that he somehow got promoted a few times, which is proof of the statement that God looks out for drunks, children, and the incompetent. Our father probably was smack dab in the middle of that particular Venn diagram.
*I once got a betta fish for Christmas. Since the family lived in Arizona at the time, it could get pretty cold. Mom once showed Kevin how to put the betta’s glass bowl on a small heating pad and turn it on low to keep the fish warm. Mom was very clear to put it on “low,” and never, ever “high.” She then went out of town on a conference and OH COME ON YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING.
*At least the new betta fish was pretty.
*While in the active duty Air Force, Kevin decided to prank his unit First Sergeant. Said First Sergeant had a specialty baseball cap that read “1SGT”, or at least had similar lettering. Kevin snuck into his NCO’s office, carefully peeled the letters off the “S” and “T” from the hat, and inserted, “E” and “G” in their place. The hat now read “1EGG.” This had the potential for being a funny prank had Kevin not raided the key when he was pulling staff duty and then destroyed his superior’s personal belongings. Kevin got in trouble and was always mystified as to why people were mad at him.
*Kevin loves weather. When Kevin got sent on temporary duty (TDY) to Montana, he was ecstatic when a tornado formed above the dormitories. So he ran outside and took pictures. The pictures were cool, but the fact remains that Kevin is fucking stupid.
*When the Cold War ended, Kevin took a separation bonus from the Air Force. The intent was that he would use the money as a cushion until he found a new job and his wife finished grad school. Instead, Kevin moved the family out to New Mexico because he had a job interview (no, not an offer . . . an interview.) Yes, it’s as idiotic as it sounds.
*When Kevin separated from the Air Force, the guys in his unit decided to celebrate his departure. They did this by grabbing Kevin, handcuffing his hands behind his back, drenching him with a garden hose, dumping flour over him and then smacking him with water-filled condoms from the roof of the building. Then they left him out in the sun for a little while for good measure.
*This hazing ritual was Kevin’s own idea. He had wanted to do it to the last guy who left the unit, but nobody would go along with it. Kevin was, as Shakespeare would say, hoisted by his own petard.
*Kevin’s chain of command not only knew about his upcoming hazing, but they actively participated. To his credit, Kevin thought it was hysterical . . . until his wife pointed out that friends don’t really do that to each other, and the last guy who left had gotten a cake instead of a face full of condoms. Kevin was then salty about it for decades.
*A year after leaving the Air Force, Kevin had to move into his mother-in-law’s house because he was legally bankrupt. We don’t know where his separation bonus went, and we’re afraid to find out.
*In our previous post, we erroneously stated that it took Kevin nine years to get a Bachelor’s degree. This was incorrect, and for that, we apologize. You see, we just found his transcripts while cleaning out the storage unit, and have found new information. It actually took him twelve . . . if we mark from the completion of his Associate’s. His transcripts show him starting college in 1983 and graduating in 2004. It’s a pity they don’t offer pensions for being a student. And this doesn’t even cover all the degree mill places he likely signed up for . . .
*At the end of his Bachelor’s degree, Kevin had withdrawn from seventeen(!) classes throughout his collegiate career.
*As stated in the previous post, Kevin spent much of our childhoods unemployed. In a bid to get money, Kevin went back and joined the Air Force Reserves. The only income he made for years was his “one weekend a month, two weeks a year” dough. Despite this, he somehow managed to not get kicked out, even though he was frequently passed over for promotion, laughed out of his commander’s office when he asked about being promoted, and once had an entire skit at an Air Force Reserve unit black tie event devoted to mocking him.
*Kevin was sensitive about his short stature. When the eHarmony website launched, Kevin went on a long diatribe about the website’s “heightist” policies and how shorter men were excluded from the dating pool. He disintegrated into quiet grumbling when Mom pressed him as to how he knew this. He blamed it on a friend complaining to him about it. Too bad that guy was 6’1”.
*Mom made all the money in the house due to working three jobs. Kevin figured that his money was his money, and so what little money he did make–as well as a good chunk of Mom’s–disappeared on ham radio equipment, guns, penny stocks, MLMs, hookers, porn, and, bizarrely, musical instruments. WE HAVE SO MANY FUCKING VIOLINS.
*Kevin had played in his high school orchestra. Kevin took this to mean that he was good at the violin. Kevin once showed up to a college jam session. We don’t know what happened, but Kevin came home, went to his bedroom, and cried. He never played the violin again.
*Kevin decided to save money for Christmas one year by getting into wine making. He Googled it and then set jugs of fermenting grapes behind the toilet. Then, on Christmas Eve, he slapped floppy disk labels on the front, wrote “Kevin’s Valley” in big block print on the sticker, and slipped them into gift bags. That shit made my aunt barf. Kevin hated to be reminded of the time he made bad pruno for Christmas and got people sick.
*Kevin was obsessive about floppy disks. He downloaded grainy .jpeg porn images onto them and then labeled them with names like “Big Blondes in Double Trouble” or “Mother Does Her Duty.” I mean, literally, he wrote these on the sticker labels, alphabetized them, and kept them in a disk caddy next to the family computer. Our father was . . . weird, and not in a good way. This has made cleaning out his storage unit tremendously unfun.
*Do you know those scuzzy payday loan places? They’re usually run out of old Pizza Huts and have pawn shops attached to them. They may even have bullet proof glass when you talk to the cashier. Most people avoid them. Our father, on the other hand, looked at those places and would think, “yeah, that’s a GREAT idea.” He seriously borrowed money from those lenders for fun and then wondered why his shit would get repossessed.
*Kevin had a credit score in the 300s. He didn’t know why.
*Back in the early 2000s, there were commercials that would run late at night. They were by a guy called Matthew Lesko, and he would obnoxiously scream at you to buy his book to “get free money!” while wearing a garish suit adorned with question marks like he was some sort of Great Value Riddler. You can see it for yourself here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NECn-uohptg . Anyway, I saw this commercial and said, “what type of idiot would buy that book?” and then walked into the living room to find Kevin reading his.
*Kevin once came home with a “family film” on video tape and put it on in the middle of the day. That “family film” was “Death Wish” with Charles Bronson. He got mad when mom made him take it back to the video store.
*Kevin and his wife were fighting one night and Kevin specified that he was going to go get a divorce attorney. Mom told him to go right ahead, because he didn’t have money to hire one anyway, and that she was willing to pay for his. This shut him up.
*Later on, Kevin became obsessed with the book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad,” despite the fact he never read it beyond the introduction. I received at least three copies as Christmas gifts, and undercookedbrotato is sure to have at least one floating around somewhere. Spoiler: the book is now regarded as inaccurate feel-good self-help schlock.
*When Kevin finally got a full-time job again, he was quickly removed from day shift due to his incompetence and put on night shift. He complained about being “punished” and would not tolerate any discussion that it at least allowed him to keep his job. Kevin went to work on night shift and was immediately written up for watching movies and sleeping. His argument was that if they didn’t want him watching movies or sleeping, then they shouldn’t have put him on the night shift.
*Kevin left work one day to find a coworker putting a computer in his truck. Kevin asked his coworker where he got his computer, and he said that he got it from the company. Kevin went running back inside and grabbed HR and told them that his coworker was stealing computers. As it turns out, his company had a program where employees could buy outdated hardware and equipment, and that’s what was going on. Kevin didn’t understand why his coworker was mad.
*Kevin’s Air Force Reserve detachment deployed to Jordan in the spring of 2005 and they stayed at the Ryatt Hotel in Amman. He came back in early summer. On November 9th, the hotel he had stayed in was attacked by a suicide bomber. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2005_Amman_bombings . Kevin claimed that the fact that the hotel he stayed in was destroyed six months after he left gave him “war PTSD.”
*Do you know that Kanye West episode of South Park where Cartman steals Jimmy’s joke about fish sticks and every time Cartman tells the story, he makes himself look better and more heroic? That was how the hotel bombing was for Kevin. Every time he told the story, the bombing happened closer and closer to his departure from Jordan, until the last time we heard it, he was “running around trying to get people to listen to him about an imminent attack” but that “nobody would believe him.” Amazingly, the attack happened “just a few hours after they left”and not the six months that actually occurred.
*Kevin bought tickets for an Ollie North book signing. He didn’t understand why nobody in the family was impressed.
*Kevin is a bit of a hypochondriac. He once came home from the doctor screaming that his kidneys were failing and that he was going to die soon. He had the entire family riled up and had Mom crying. It turns out that, while he does indeed have kidney disease, it’s nowhere near fatal and can be controlled with medication.
*Kevin once woke up, went to the bathroom, and exited the bathroom shaking. He then called out of work and reported to the emergency room due to finding a “reddish, bloody discharge” around the head of his penis. He was terrified that he had some sort of cancer. What was this mystery secretion, you ask? Lipstick.
*We’re horrified by this story on a number of levels. First, there’s the idea of dad getting a blowjob, which is terrible. Secondly, now that his infidelity has come to light, we must acknowledge that said lipstick could have belonged to any number of women. And then, finally, we must face the realization that Dad didn’t wash his dick. This world is garbage and I hate it.
*Years later, a kid in our hometown got arrested for breaking and entering somebody else’s house, and he happened to have the same last name as us. Dad cut the clipping out of the newspaper, scanned it into his computer, and emailed it to his friends and associates claiming that he had cheated on Mom and that this kid was his illegitimate offspring. He said this was a “joke.” Mom did not find this funny. In retrospect, we don’t think he was joking. We wonder how many half-siblings we have.
*Kevin decided he wanted new ham radio gear. Kevin had no money. Kevin decided he was willing to trade for it. What did he trade? The dog. We’re still pissed.
*Kevin got mad at me for “marrying outside my race” (I’m white, my wife is Filipina.) He then told me that I was being cut out of the will. I told him to go ahead, because there was nothing to inherit anyway. The idea that his son was willing to go no contact hurt him less than the realization that he had no wealth.
*Mom once went up to Alaska to visit me out, as my wife had just had a baby. This left u/undercookedbrotato at home with Kevin. Kevin decided that he was grown and needed to be out on his own, so he gave him a week to leave the house. He was only fifteen. When Mom and I called him and gave him an earful, his claim was that he forgot how old he was and then rescinded his edict.
*In our last post, I wrote about how Kevin had decided to start a real estate company despite not having any money. Or real estate to sell. Or clients. Or a real estate license. But there were some things I forgot to mention–Kevin had gone out and bought a car to advertise his latent business, and even tried to get a car wrap put on it. On top of that, he registered as an LLC and used my social security number to register me as a co-owner with the IRS. I did not give him permission to do this and only found out when I was fucking audited. Fortunately, the business never made any money and I got out of the audit without having to pay any money, so yay?
*Kevin then decided to start a self-defense business, but he didn’t want to put any time or effort into marketing or sales or researching laws. Instead, he just bought a bunch of tasers and pepper spray online and then shipped them to my house. When I called and wondered why there were a bunch self-defense weapons of nebulous legality sitting on my porch, I was told to go sell them and pass along the money. I refused, and the next time Kevin visited, he was given his box back. I don’t know how Kevin got rid of them, and I’m not sure I care.
*Kevin was well-known for mangling popular idioms. His most famous was “hindsight is 100%”, although he also encouraged people to be “fair and objectionable.” When pressed about his philosophy about the human condition, Kevin was not shy about sharing how he felt the world was out to get him–despite the fact that people around him spent most of their time protecting him from himself.
*Kevin likes space stuff and Kevin likes women. So Kevin really likes women astronauts. He could barely contain himself when he met one. He friended her on Facebook and was then, unsurprisingly, creepy. He got blocked and he was crushed.
*Kevin once had a wet dream involving his female supervisor. He told her about it.
*When Kevin was finally fired from his job for having porn on his computer, a group of women met him at the door and told him they were thankful he was gone.
*Kevin registered for Truth Social and was buying Donald Trump gold coins from randos on the Internet. He never received any of them.
*After Kevin got caught cheating on our Mom, he claimed that his “war PTSD” made him do it and that we “couldn’t begin to understand the horrors of war” when confronted. Unfortunately for Kevin, I served in the Sunni Triangle with the 2nd Cavalry during OIF 1 and have actual PTSD (seriously, there’s a slip of paper signed by a doctor and pills and appointments and everything. It’s awesome.) Kevin didn’t have a good explanation for why I hadn’t cheated on MY wife.
*Kevin then (badly) tried to defend his infidelity by texting me advertisements for local Craigslist hookers. His logic was that he would prove how “irresistible” they were, and then people would sympathize with him! At best, this was him grasping at straws–at worst, it was him actively trying to sabotage my marriage. Anyway, and on a completely unrelated note, Kevin hasn’t seen his grandkids in a long time.
*After Mom left, Kevin told me that he’d just move in with me. He got a courtesy ride to the retirement home instead.
*After Kevin was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, I started getting collections calls from one of those tribal payday loan places. It turns out that Dad had borrowed money from them at some point in the past. When I called them up and explained that my father was mentally incapacitated, they then shared that his account age was ten years old and he was a “gold tier customer.” I don’t know what that means, but I’m horrified, especially since they’re not regulated by the FDIC and charge 300% interest.
“But hey!” you might be thinking, “this just sounds like the venting of a pair of maladjusted adult children with daddy issues taking their umbridge to the internet.” And you would be right, of course. But you don’t have to just take our word for what a menace Kevin was.
While cleaning out the family storage unit, I found Dad’s old high school yearbooks. Let’s see what Kevin’s peers had to write, shall we?
Farewells and Salutations Left in Kevin’s Yearbooks
“You are the only person I know who’s temper is shorter than he is. You’re nuts.”--Allen
“Kevin, to a very nice guy. Even though you cut me down, I don’t mind. Nice knowing you.”--Ricky
“Kevin, you’re a real nice guy that works at a store and is obscene.”--Barbara
“You’re a strange Lithuanian dwarf.”--Eugene
AUTHOR’S NOTE: The joke here, of course, is entirely on Eugene. Kevin’s not Lithuanian.
“To Kevin, alias Shorty; I am sorry that I have to disagree with you on the little matter of who is taller. I am, Shorty, and you had better start facing life the way you should.”--Cathy
“Good luck. You’re going to need it!”--Carol
“Kevin, you have certainly added ‘life’ to the classroom! At times, however, wouldn’t it have been better to divert your energy to studying?”--Mrs. Frey
“To a nice guy I wish would go somewhere.”--John
“Good luck with your girlfriend who’s coming back from the Azores.”--Sue
Author’s Note: Kevin apparently decided to one-up the kid with a girlfriend that you wouldn’t know, because she lives in Canada. I gotta give Kevin this–the Azores were a creative touch.
“To the dumbest guy in electronics class that I still hate.”--Daniel
“A real weird kid in my driver’s ed class. Good luck when trying not to hit people (so far you’ve been lucky).”--Byron
“Kevin, I guess you’re alright so I give you the privilege of having my autograph. To a very small punk who can’t keep his feet off anybody’s desk.”--Michael
“Kevin, you’re a real slob, but outside of that you’re alright. You’re lousy in math, but I guess you can’t help it.”--Bill
“Kevin, even though you call me fat, I still consider you a friend of mine.”--Laurie
“A screwy guy that has just about as much sense as a pervert in an elementary school.”--Tim
Author’s note: Ouch, Tim.
“Kevin, we expect you to come in and sand down the desk.”--Mr. Bell, Woodshop
“To a little squirt tattle tale.”--Samantha
“Kevin, how have I stood it?!? You could go so far if you’d only use your capabilities. Remember the parable of the man and the talents? Good luck.”--Mrs. Siwa
Author’s note: Mrs. Siwa seems to be referencing a Biblical story (Matthew 25:14) wherein a master gives three of his servants bags of gold to see what they will do with them. Two of the servants invest the gold and then give their master the earnings, which makes him happy, and he allows them to keep some of the gold. The third servant buries his gold in the ground like a fucking idiot and so gives his master back a bag of dirty, muddy coins. The master, unsurprisingly, is unamused, and so orders his servant to be bound hand and foot and thrown out “into the dark where there will be a weeping and a gnashing of teeth.” Mrs. Siwa got no chill.
“Kevin, you’re really weird. That’s the only way to describe you.”--Deb
“To a kid I wish would go and play in traffic sometimes.”--Lance
“I hope you go far in this world. And soon.”--Larry
“To a very nice friend, even if you are short. And if the world is lucky, you will fall over dead.”--Lee
Author’s note: Goddamn, Lee. Saying the quiet part out loud, are we?
Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. Percy Shelly once penned a poem that reminds us of him so very well. One stanza in “Ozymandias” states, “look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!” Of course, the reader is then treated to imagery of Ozymandias’s fallen kingdom.
And that’s Kevin for you. A monarch is his own imagination. A maladaptive malcontent in the public’s. A life defined by failure, incompetence, rage, and laziness, with only the detritus of his own failed enterprises to keep him company in his declining years. No thing beside remains, indeed.
Rest well and rest quietly, Kevin. We’ve earned it.