Training a sissy husband

I got my PC with 1100 something hours into Rimworld on my PS5. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve played the greatest colony of all time. It was like Christmas seeing all the awesome things I’ve missed out on with console. I’ve never finished a game. I get too attached, so I play them until I eventually get tired of the game. This time, it was different. I began my story with a sanguophage start.
A PC noob, I didn’t pay attention and didn’t realize that just clicking on a colonist wasn’t choosing to crash with them. I was overwhelmed and accidentally landed with the best pair I could’ve asked for.
19 year old Imp turned vampire, Grump. Kind, beautiful, and iron-willed. Mega. Fucking. Chad. 19 year old human, Onesan, too smart, industrious, and steadfast. How did I get so lucky?? I swear, it was entirely accidental. In fact, when I saw their names, I was pissed because I meant to choose someone else. I have no idea how I failed upward, but I did. I don’t even know how I got them because I hadn’t even registered them in the choices before landing.
Within two days, Grump and Onesan became lovers. Together, they began digging a mountain base that would soon become a cannibal holy Mecca and kickstart a chain of events that had never been experienced in all of my Rim history: I let them leave.
In the ten years this colony trudged onward, Grump and Onesan, power couple sent straight from the gods, welcomed several newcomers to their home and to their faith.
My favorite newcomer, and the third addition to the colony, crash-landed Yttakin, Wyn’barrot was most instrumental in the colony’s survival. She trained a pack of cougars, panthers, and elephants and kept the colony alive with her hunting expertise, claiming the life of every wild elephant that dare step foot on our tile with her animal sidekicks in tow.
How remiss I would be to not mention Madam, the pregnant refugee who begged for shelter and never left. She gave birth to a son named Lucky, the first child in our colony, and if there ever was a chosen one, he was it. The boy’s growth moments were accompanied by the perfect trait choices. He was pretty, steadfast, and sanguine. A man who put Chris Kyle to shame with his trusty sniper rifle.
Grump and Onesan went on to have four children, one of which had an (illegitimate) child with golden boy Lucky, blessing them with grandbabies as well.
Wyn’barrot and her genie husband, Sale, who dreamt of melee combat, but was genetically cursed to live behind a fabrication bench for his entire life, had a few children of their own. We even managed to capture Wyn’barrot’s sister, Ro, during a raid and she became a full fledged member of the colony herself, hunting and handling at her sister’s side.
There are many others who contributed greatly to the colony’s success. Pinachite, the mole person doctor and miner, whom without our sprawling base would never have been as grand as it was. Sky, Madam’s husband, whose abrasive personality started many a social fight, but melee skill saved many a life. Flo, the ancient doctor, who killed Madam’s second son and only with Sky, but paid her blood debt by delivering her grandchild and subsequently saving the baby from a particularly nasty case of malaria. Ittark, the Yttakin with a penchant for plants, whose sowing skills kept the meals lavish and plentiful.
After many adventures, many hard raids, moments of wanting to rage quit, I managed to load them all up into the ship, and for the first time in my history of playing, I loved them so much, I let them go.

Last week me and my husband discussed doing a trial run with a dog from the local shelter to see how he’d do in our home, with our current Pup, Blue. Blues been my best friend since the day I got him and I owe my life to him. He’s my other half.
Blue is 5 years old, he’s been an only dog his whole life, and he’s a people dog. He’s never shown much interest in other dogs. Not mean or aggressive to them, but also not overly excited to play with them.
We took blues personality into consideration and since this dog is the same breed we thought maybe we’d give it a shot and see how it goes. Me and my husband sat down and talked and said if it was too much for blue, too much for the new rescue, or the first signs of aggression or territorial behavior shows, the shelter will take him back. Which is exactly what this trial run is for.
The first three days were fine. The two dogs have been playing, I was actually really surprised blue was as interested in the new rescue as he was.
This dog needed a lot of training which we were willing to put in. He needed a lot of attention and is a very jealous dog so that was something we needed to work on as well.
Last night, the two dogs got into a bit of a fight. My dog blue was playing with his toy, laying down, relaxed and the rescue had ran up to take it from him, and blue had snapped and started a fight. Blue doesn’t show any signs of aggression EVER. He is the sweetest boy and is not a resource guarder what so ever. He’s never shown this behavior to any human or dog before.
Neither got hurt and the fight was separated immediately - And I instantly told my husband it wasn’t going to work. Seeing my dog blue in that manor broke my heart - and seeing this new dog who just wanted to play get snapped at and scared from my dog made me even more upset.
I told my husband I was going to call the shelter tomorrow and ask to end the trial run early as I just don’t think it’s a right fit for Blues personality. That one fight made me so scared for this other dogs safety and comfortability in our home, that I couldn’t have it happen again. We separated the dogs for the night, and called the shelter today.
The shelter was able to take the dog back, however they treated me and my husband like awful people for it. Which broke me. I wanted to give this dog a home to feel safe and secure in and I couldn’t provide that for him. But I’m not going to make my dog change his personality to fit a dog that may do better in another home. This behavior he showed wasn’t okay obviously and will be watched for more signs like it in the future, but I’m not going to force Blue to like other dogs in a way we need him to for this to work. They made me feel like my dog was a bad dog for just simply wanting to be an only dog. They said “dog fights are normal in new house holds” which didn’t seem right to me…
The new dog went back to the shelter, which works with a prison and the inmates (non violent and approved inmates of course) are actually able to take care of the dogs and play with them until they’re able to find a home for the dogs. This gave me some peace of mind knowing he wouldn’t just be shoved in a kennel waiting for somebody else to give him the chance.
My husband however is now upset with me. He thinks I over reacted about one little dog fight and that I needed to give the dog another chance. I just don’t think I had it in my heart to see either dog in the situation they were in last night. It’s not fair to either of them.
I feel like the bad guy now, Like I gave up too quick, like I failed this dog, and like I did something wrong for wanting him to go to another home and returning him to the shelter. But it also makes me feel like my dog is a bad guy, like he’s a bad dog for showing this behavior.
Some word of advice would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I did something absolutely awful, but I know if I kept this dog, the outcome could’ve made me feel 10x worse with the chance of something happening.

Last week me and my husband discussed doing a trial run with a dog from the local shelter to see how he’d do in our home, with our current Pup, Blue. Blues been my best friend since the day I got him and I owe my life to him. He’s my other half.
Blue is 5 years old, he’s been an only dog his whole life, and he’s a people dog. He’s never shown much interest in other dogs. Not mean or aggressive to them, but also not overly excited to play with them.
We took blues personality into consideration and since this dog is the same breed we thought maybe we’d give it a shot and see how it goes. Me and my husband sat down and talked and said if it was too much for blue, too much for the new rescue, or the first signs of aggression or territorial behavior shows, the shelter will take him back. Which is exactly what this trial run is for.
The first three days were fine. The two dogs have been playing, I was actually really surprised blue was as interested in the new rescue as he was.
This dog needed a lot of training which we were willing to put in. He needed a lot of attention and is a very jealous dog so that was something we needed to work on as well.
Last night, the two dogs got into a bit of a fight. My dog blue was playing with his toy, laying down, relaxed and the rescue had ran up to take it from him, and blue had snapped and started a fight. Blue doesn’t show any signs of aggression EVER. He is the sweetest boy and is not a resource guarder what so ever. He’s never shown this behavior to any human or dog before.
Neither got hurt and the fight was separated immediately - And I instantly told my husband it wasn’t going to work. Seeing my dog blue in that manor broke my heart - and seeing this new dog who just wanted to play get snapped at and scared from my dog made me even more upset.
I told my husband I was going to call the shelter tomorrow and ask to end the trial run early as I just don’t think it’s a right fit for Blues personality. That one fight made me so scared for this other dogs safety and comfortability in our home, that I couldn’t have it happen again. We separated the dogs for the night, and called the shelter today.
The shelter was able to take the dog back, however they treated me and my husband like awful people for it. Which broke me. I wanted to give this dog a home to feel safe and secure in and I couldn’t provide that for him. But I’m not going to make my dog change his personality to fit a dog that may do better in another home. This behavior he showed wasn’t okay obviously and will be watched for more signs like it in the future, but I’m not going to force Blue to like other dogs in a way we need him to for this to work. They made me feel like my dog was a bad dog for just simply wanting to be an only dog. They said “dog fights are normal in new house holds” which didn’t seem right to me…
The new dog went back to the shelter, which works with a prison and the inmates (non violent and approved inmates of course) are actually able to take care of the dogs and play with them until they’re able to find a home for the dogs. This gave me some peace of mind knowing he wouldn’t just be shoved in a kennel waiting for somebody else to give him the chance.
My husband however is now upset with me. He thinks I over reacted about one little dog fight and that I needed to give the dog another chance. I just don’t think I had it in my heart to see either dog in the situation they were in last night. It’s not fair to either of them.
I feel like the bad guy now, Like I gave up too quick, like I failed this dog, and like I did something wrong for wanting him to go to another home and returning him to the shelter. But it also makes me feel like my dog is a bad guy, like he’s a bad dog for showing this behavior.
Some word of advice would be greatly appreciated. I feel like I did something absolutely awful, but I know if I kept this dog, the outcome could’ve made me feel 10x worse with the chance of something happening.

I’m really lost for words as I type this but I’ll try and keep it brief. My husband and I had a secret Nikkah where his family was not aware or present as they were against him marrying me and were trying to force him into a cousin marriage (more details on previous post). We got married in February and he left shortly after for 2 months to go America to visit family. It was supposed to be 2 weeks and he cancelled his return after we had an argument and delayed his return for 2 months. When he came back we were supposed to tell his family and move out but he delayed this because of a family emergency. Time went on from August until November and we finally found a place and I had said he has to move out by the end of the year because I couldn’t keep waiting. I moved out once everything was finalised in December and I put the whole flat together myself because he was really immersed with family matters and didn’t have the time to help out. He then didn’t end up moving out till February because his family keep trying to convince him to divorce me once he told them about our marriage, so I was alone for about 6 weeks in the flat. We lived together for 2 weeks before he had to go Pakistan with his mother because his grandad became really unwell. They booked him a one way ticket with the intention of keeping him there indefinitely (in my opinion to cause issues with us) but we booked him a return after 2 weeks and his mother stayed. He promised me at this time he will never leave to go away from me again after he saw the way it affected me and my mental health, he said that if he had to he would take me with him if necessary. He came back just in time for Ramadan because this was our first Ramadan living together and I really wanted him to prioritise me for that time. He currently doesn’t have a job but has been applying for jobs since the time he moved in, I currently take care of bills/rent etc for that reason. I work 12 hour shifts - 4 days on, 4 days off but I changed all my shifts around during Ramadan, working 8 hours with no breaks (05:00-13:00) each day to ensure I was there for each Iftar and Suhoor with him. I’d come home from work and spend time with him before cooking Iftar for us in the evening. He would also visit his family during this time to open fasts with them but they continued to slander me and encourage divorce between us. This is ongoing till this day.
I’m writing this with a heavy heart because I’m feeling a bigger rift between us than ever before. He’s told me he’s going to be going Pakistan again because his parents keep asking this of him. He states his mother and aunt are alone in Pakistan without a male figure and that they need someone there. They have been there by themselves for almost a month now I believe. He’s also been away from me to cover for his family business after a passing in the family for the last week and a half so in addition to this he’s now going to be going away for a minimum of 2+ weeks. He has the option of commuting from our flat to the shop but it would take slightly longer and I suggested he go to his parents so he can spend time with his siblings/nieces to try and repair the relationship and because I know he misses them a lot.
I went into really severe depression when he left so soon after our marriage and was away for two months and since that time I’ve had a huge insecurity about him being away because I don’t trust that he will put me first and come back in good time. In this situation now I’ve said I’m firm on him not going Pakistan because he only went recently and he has a brother at home who is unmarried that can go if it is imperative. His dad went Pakistan a week ago and returned yesterday but didn’t stay with his mum either. I feel extremely alone and isolated, none of my siblings live close to me and I don’t have a strong relationship with my parents. Being away from him is so difficult for me, I feel so uncomfortable in our home alone and further to that I just feel so alone. I feel like he doesn’t understand or comprehend the responsibilities of a husband if he’s so comfortable leaving me alone so often. I am constantly extending olive branches to his family to try and build a relationship with them but they’ll always shut it down and continue to advocate for divorce, his mother especially. He admitted that he thinks previously when he went to Pakistan that part of the reason they tried to keep him there was to create distance between us but if he knows that then why does he not see the impact this will have on our marriage? I’m starting to lose the person I once was. I feel so unhappy and taken for granted. I am constantly trying to do things for him to make him feel special or happy because I know things have been difficult for his family. I dress up for him and surprise him, I booked us a holiday away for his birthday/our anniversary. I cook and clean around the house despite working full time. I feel so heartbroken. He knows how much this affects me but he puts me through it anyway. I love him but I don’t know how long I can keep feeling like I’m in a one sided marriage. I would always consider him and prioritise him and make rational decisions but I don’t think he can do the same and I’m so lost.
I would appreciate any and all advice on this; sisters if you’ve experienced something similar, brothers if you can give insight on the train of thought?

Freshly back and awake after a twelve day stint for my first time there. I knew that I wanted to go in general, and while I didn't have a firm itinerary planned out, there was one main goal that I had in terms of sites within the country. The main video game that I play is Beatmania IIDX, and it has internal trophies which are represented as badges. Your profile allows you to assign up to five of them as visible when you start a new round, and there are badges to earn for playing at least one round in every prefecture in Japan, as well as every subregion. Getting the Kanto badge meant that I needed to play at least one round in Tokyo, Kanagawa, Saitama, Gunma, Tochigi, Ibaraki, and Chiba. After five days, I had that complete, and now I have a permanent record of this trip within the game itself. There was also a time-limited event to earn points in IIDX in order to exchange them for goods, such as a hat, or a towel, or a new account card and a poster, and I managed to get that taken care of in somewhat dramatic fashion. I did some other things too.
Primary general points
· Getting Suica set on the phone and using it was generally painless. There were only two times where I needed to summon the help of a resident JR employee to clear up an issue with the gate not reading the card for some reason.
· Most vocal interaction which I had was the opposite of painless, because I continuously kept trying to speak Japanese and failing, and most people would realize that I was completely failing at it and responded with English (some with full on sentences, others with just a few words). There were a few rare times that I was able to express my intent in Japanese, receive a response, understand the response, and reply as necessary, but that was rare. Once English was invoked, I would stay with it, because that's what they were expecting. I've been self-studying the language for more than twenty years in varying degrees of intensity, and while my reading comprehesion seemed sufficient enough for this trip, and while I didn't expect my speaking to be as good because I don't have any opportunity to practice speaking, I came away bitterly disappointed in my vocal and speaking comprehension in terms of my interaction with people there. Even within the trip I could at least overhear common chitchat better, but any time I needed to converse with someone for some reason, I usually needed to have things repeated several times and broken down before I finally realized what was being said.
· You are going to be asked about separately buying a bag with every non-food purchase. Accept or immediately present one that you are carrying to indicate how your purchase shall be bagged.
· I never once had my passport requested for presentation.
· Only once did a person volutnarily reach out to address me, and it was just to ask me where I was from in English. Otherwise, everyone left me alone the entire time.
· Weather through the period was ideal. Mid to upper 70F/25C range and only a few days where it was rainy, and even then it wasn't a downpour. A while ago I personally resolved to only wear suits in public and I purchased a new pair of Mephisto shoes after hearing reports of the extensive walking causing problems for traveller's feet and shoes. My attire help up well; there were only a few times that I needed to avoid sunlight to not get too hot, and I have no issues to report from the shoes.
· I only got X'd out of a restaurant one time, and I think it's only because I wandered into it before it was ready for service. Otherwise, I never once waited in line for food, I never once went to restaurant more than once, and all food was acceptably priced for the portion and excellent for the quality.
For these per-day recounts, I wrote them contemporaneously at the end of each day, so you'll need to forgive me for some writing being in present tense and other writing being in past tense.
Day 1 - Travel, Sugamo, Ikebukuro
Non stop flight from Chicago OHare to Haneda. 12 hours. Good thing I usually don't watch movies, because that just means that all I needed to do was binge a few to make the trip go by.
Pre-trip research led me to choose APA Sugamo as my home base for the visit, and I think that it was a very fortuitious choice. I'll have more to say about it later.
Some awkward encounters happened right away upon checking in here. I was at the nearby Family Mart to buy some things and I didn’t catch that he was making sure I wanted a bag until he repeated it five times. Yes, I’ll take it. Before getting there I was coming down to ground level after checking into my room, and when that person saw that I would have been the only other person going down to the ground, they ducked right back out. I was warned on both of these kinds of things happening, so I guess it’s good to have that immediately out of the way. It would turn out that people deliberately avoiding me was rare throughout the trip.
Despite not sleeping on the trip, I had freshly arrived and had no sense of being tired, so once I had my stuff down, I went off to Ikebukuro right away. No picture or video truly conveys how crowded these areas can get. It can only be experienced in person to be understood.
I soon found Round One Ikebukruo and went right in. So dense and loud. It’s entirely alien to me to see no less than ten IIDX machines in operation and all of them in use. I dumped the money into random tickets, as I foresaw doing, but now I have to wonder if that was the right thing to do, or if it’s tied to that location. I guess I’ll find out.
The forecast is for rain so I need to be in a hurry to figure out where I’m going to go. There might be only one day left for me to get my time limited toys.
Day 2 - Kawasaki, Kanagawa - Utsunomiya, Tochigi - Oomiya, Saitama
My body decided that it only needed four hours of sleep this morning. Without doing more research, I somehow decided to assume that more of the Round One locations were close to 24 hours of operation much like Ikebukuro. Answer: no. I hopped on the train early and went to Shibuya first, but it was very quiet, so I decided to get some of the travels out of the way today and headed south to Kawasaki. I still needed to dawdle for a while until Silk Hat opened at 900AM, and when I finally was able to get inside, I was only able to verify that their store had several allotments of the campaign goods and all allotments were out. Played one round on a monitor that was surprisingly blurry, and I don’t know why that would be the case with a lightning model, but it was, so that was enough.
After doing all of that, I resolved to try to go to Chiba and Ibaraki afterwards. I figured that with Kanagawa and Tokyo likely all out, going to the outskirts would make more sense. However, there was an injury on one of the rails that threw everything off normal, and the train I found myself riding was bound for Utsunomiya instead. Seeing as how I was going to go there eventually, I rolled with it.
It doesn’t take too long to move away from Tokyo metropolitan area before you encounter more forest like areas and rice paddy fields. Halfway through the trip I noticed that two older women suddenly hopped off while the train was waiting to go to the next stop, and I followed them when I realized they found the express line. Utsunomiya has a substantial size to its area and buildings but it was very quiet on the streets there in midday. Walked a mile to Sega GIGO, found that they didn’t even have the goods tracker up. All out. Interesting buliding for it having several neon signs, all vintage and authentic at that. Getting to there from the south meant cutting through Saitama, so I knew I had enough time to make one last attempt there. Research shown two stores being near Oomiya station, so that’s where I ended up. Taito Station was immediately visible upon exit, and they have two IIDX machines specifically with 20 gram springs, which is closer to my home setup and that much lighter than standard 50 gram springs. The final hour drew near and I made one last visit to that city’s Round One. Unlike nearly every other place I went to so far, it only had one IIDX machine. However, and maybe because of that, their goods listing didn’t show everything as out. One painful language exchange later, I was able to discern that what I wanted was available. When you spend more than 3000 yen in a single credit, the game wants to verify if you really want to proceed. It does it again at 6000 and 9000. Yes, I really do. But, having made that money dump I was able to get my hands on the e-amuse card and poster with fifteen minutes left before the deadline. Mission complete. By this point in the day it was exceedingly difficult to even look at the screen so I was ready to come home, but not before getting some goods at the Oomiya Book Off and redeeming what I could for points at Round One Ikebukuro. By the end of the day the only thing that I could tolerate doing was to buy some chicken and nigiri from the nearby train station. Good enough. At that point in the day my body felt like it wants to rock back and forth after all the train riding done today. But, it ended up being worthwhile after all.
One nostalgic feeling I had the most strongly in the day was at the Utsunomiya location where the smell of it triggered past buried memories of yesteryear. I think I want to attribute it to the stronger second hand cigarette smell but I’m not sure - all the same I felt its presence strongly there. Also, I don’t see Oomiya (or really Saitama itself) mentioned as a fun place to go, but it might serve as an acceptable alternative to Ikebukuro, only not as massive in scale of human quantity. Depending on how the trip goes in total I may end up back there for IIDX playing, at least if I don’t find any other place that has 20G springs.
Day 3 - Akihabara
With the travels out of the way, it was time to keep things more regionalized and stick to one area, and there is shopping that needs to be done, so it was off to Akihabara and to see how much of other posted tales hold true. The answer is that it is a lot of it. Kotobukiya can stand to open sooner than noon. Super Potato is indeed priced for a market which wants to snap up anything cheap - I at least found Xi for under 500 and felt that it would have been a bit silly to buy only that, but it didn’t make spending 2000 on one single issue of Arcadia any better. I had no idea that Hey Arcade was right next to both of them; while it was assuredly nice to be there and see the row of Cave shooters among everything else, something got messed up with my registration of my new eamuse card with everything else, so that quickly added to my stress. Having to carry around a few hundred dollars worth of crap with every step didn’t help matters. At least I was able to help a person recover their lost phone by applying a bit of logic to the situation and deducing it to belong to the only person there who looked French, as it was on the Lock Screen. They were relieved, yes. Then, rain came, and it was more than I was anticipating, and I left the umbrella at the room, particularly since I knew I’d be shopping this day. It also turns out to have not mattered much, because I went to visit Bic Camera so that I could get myself a hair trimmer while here, and that turned into me finding a bunch of Kit Kats available, so that meant a second bag. The wind kicked out the rain and my umbrella. In trying to get as many gifts secured as possible, I found some gachapon, but it needed 100Y coins, and I didn’t need paper money in the trip yet. After fighting with maps, I found an ATM to get cash, and got the gachapon. I came home late with feeling rather crushed about the day in that I couldn’t take pictures very well with having to juggle weather and bagging considerations. There were some nice parts of the experience to be sure but between that and more gawking at Super Potato pricing ($135 for PS3 Caladrius? $6000 for Pulstar?) and seeing similar markups on other goods, I don’t think it’s unfair to say that there is a reputation that this area carries and the pricing is there to go with it.
Day 4 - Laundry Day. Shibuya, Harajuku, Shinjuku
I was so drained at the end of Day 3 that I fell asleep on the bed immediately after ending the night call, which meant that I woke up at 0200AM to a room that was fully lit. This meant that I needed to look up how to resolve my eamuse problem or else I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. I did both. Awake at 0800AM meant that I had time to do laundry while I figured out what to do with the rest of the day. This meant that I was able to get more of Sugamo in pictures, and it was nice to be able to walk among the actual residences, and do other things like come across a school as it was actually in session. With them being close by and all in succession, I figured to get Shibuya, Harajuku, and Shinjuku visited. It turns out to have been a good day for it, as the temperature was perfectly cool and no rain came, and the sun came out only for a little bit. Shibuya somehow doesn’t seem quite as large in scope in person but the crowds were definitely there, and it is much more hilly than I anticipated as well. After wandering around and not seeing any arcade for a bit, I came across a series of coffee and cookie shops and remained strong to not indulge. It was there while looking at a Disney store (which gets tourists to take pictures of it for some reason) that the song Alone Again came on through the nearby public speakers. What timing. It drove me to finally get a treat for myself, and the frozen latte (black sesame and houji) and croissant (dark chocolate filing) were certainly good, it ended up costing more than the dinner I’d have later this day. I found a seclusion with a garbage can to eat the food and not carry the trash around, then an arcade soon after, and it was time to determine if I could fix the problem. Just like an easy click, it was. New to trash. Old to new. Done. Why did it have to be this way. Harajuku came next, and the environment there was distinct. This one in particular felt like it was an extended carnival atmosphere with the single tight knit market street and emphasis on fashion. A conversation with a freelance artist in the subway actually went well enough that I didn’t feel dumb. The same sensation carried to Shinjuku as well, only it was more spread out. Kabuki street was interesting to see in person, and I didn’t get any unseemly vibes from the place. Maybe it’s different later at night. A return home at a reasonable time allowed me to go down Sugamo’s market street a bit; most of it was closed, but it was interesting to come across the few remaining stores that were open by 0800PM, and more so the one that wasn’t. Coming back to the hotel I found a 24 hour ramen shop with nobody inside. The chef didn’t want to speak and only pointed to the ordering kiosk when I addressed her. The food came through a slot in the obscured window. At least her thank you as I left was a bit more warm, and the food was certainly delicious. To match with the matcha dessert that I bought from Sugamo station, I swung by a 7Eleven to get a drink, and found a milk tea for cheaper than a vending machine. The overhead music in the store was an instrumental version of Alone Again.
Day 5. Ibaraki - Mount Tsukuba, Miraidaira. Kashiwa, Chiba. Akihabara 2.
Awake at 0500AM on my own and knowing the current forecast meant that my envisioned plan for the day was quickly realized. Reaching the Tsukuba Express starting point from Akihabara needs you to get very far down into the ground before getting out into sunlight. I was on the ride early enough to see schoolchildren going about their commute, some of them being no older than ten and going about it unaccompanied. The people of Tsukuba seemed to be particularly helpful and cheerful that day, even despite my Suica issues at the gate. I didn’t ask his name at the counter but the man at the service desk was eager to speak with me about my career and what I was doing there. One asked where I was from on the way up to the summit and another caught my cable car ticket on the way down. There had to have been a few of them who saw my doing this climb in my business attire and thinking me to be a complete idiot if not outright mocking them for doing it that way while they employed the use of dual walking sticks and the like. I know I read some reports of the home stretch being difficult, but it did get pretty close to being an actual rock climb instead of a trail hike for that part of it. A quick stop to Miraidaira on the way back to get the Ibaraki play. The way the town center greets you upon leaving the rail gate struck me as incredible, as well as for how quiet it was. It was like walking onto a movie set. I did find the sweet shop after the play, and that was another painful interaction yet again. Oh well. Two quick stops down Tsukuba Express and one across from Tobu Urban Park line was enough to have a toe in Chiba, and I didn’t even need to leave the physical building of the train station to get to the basement level to find a machine for a play. Thank you, Kashiwa, you were great. Gunma is all that’s left. The descent from Tsukuba did take some earnest exertion, and after doing that the two stops, that put me back in Akihabara about when I anticipated; what I failed to anticipate is how much that place seems to drain on me. I think I just need to eat at an actual dinner time. Once I got back to Sugamo and had food it was a bit better, but while in Akihabara and being around that environment, and not finding things on a shopping list, I found myself just standing still and watching life pass me by. I hemmed and hawed a while for a maid girl’s hour of service for chitchat, but eventually I talked myself out of it because I just didn’t want potential trouble, just like her name. Komaru. I thought about doing this once just to say that I did, but I ultimately decided against it. You cannot go to this place with the expectation that you will find anything unless it is advertised and new. If you are looking for anything used, don’t count on it being there. You also cannot go there without having a strong resolve to not engage with the touts, because it becomes disheartening to see them do their job and blankly stare at the world when they're forced to stand out there and do nothing. Back to Sugamo to find a place that advertised Wagyu but the price they wanted was more than I wanted to spend. The ramen and seaweed & rice servings were fine, but they advertised endless drink and I didn’t receive that. All for $20? No, son. I did better than that elsewhere, I’ll know better now. Long day.
Day 6 - Tokyo Flea Market, Nakano Broadway, Ueno.
The weather couldn’t have been better for this weekend. I’ve read reports that the flea market held near the horse race track will be arbitrarily cancelled regardless of what is reported on the website, but my gut instinct told me that it would occur today, and it did. Turns out that a flea market is a flea market which is a flea market, no matter where it happens. Same allotment of clothes and stuff that few people really want to buy, although I was able to find myself some neckties at least. I probably overpaid based on what I saw later in the route, but that’s fine. They look nice. I settled on some shot glasses for a gift as well, but I’m surprised that I can’t ind something ornate that isn’t part of a sake set. Seated in the shade with a chocolate churro while rap music played in the background - it’s like I never left home. A woman came to sit across from me for the sake of sitting down; she was from Holland and today’s her last day in the country. Her husband came with food eventually. She had three weeks here and went to several places (allegedly, she didn’t list them out) and I asked her about Nakano Broadway. She didn’t make it there. It’s a good thing that I did - this is probably the kind of environment and market that people expect of Akihabara now, and maybe that’s how Aki was years ago, but it’s different from this. What’s more interesting is that Mandarake has a larger presence here than in Akihabara (so it seems to me), and their stores had floor after floor of any and every kind of pop culture product that’s been made in the past sixty years at least. Buttress that with extensive watch and jewelry stores and a slender arcade in the basement, and it’s a very well centralized microcosm of the country’s economy on the whole. I actually made a point to have dinner earlier than usual this time and found a place to serve some deep fried pork cuts served with rice and soup on the side. It was enough, and very well made. The day had not ended and my bag was heavy with several books purchased there, so I reported back to base briefly and decided to try visiting somewhere else, and settled on Ueno. Just as I arrived, a festival was underway where local teams of people made an elaborate show of carrying a home made shrine to a temple. Streets were officially blocked by police to allow the procession. In following the line I came up against makeshift food and amusement stands with the traditional toy gun shooting and goldfish catching. It appears that this is an official “start of summer” festival and I was able to watch it all happen in front of me. That was the good part of the day.
Day 7 - Tachikawa / Kunitachi. Shinjuku 2.
One of the games that I've never played is Beatmania III The Final. I've played some BM3 7th Mix years ago, but not The Final. I found a location that has one - World Game Circus in Tachikawa. In looking around that area before the trip, I saw that there was a nearby shinkansen museum, and not much else, so I figured that going to both places would make that walk worthwhile. Turns out that it wasn’t a museum in the proper sense of a dedicated building. Rather, it was a bullet train engine car on the side of a building that was unrelated, and that was it. A cute interaction happened here - when I approached the car, I heard some children running around inside, so I approached cautiously without knowing if I was encroaching upon someone else's alloted time or something. Once the children saw me, they gave a hearty irrashaimase as I entered, and the boy stamped a paper and presented it to me. Perfect. Despite it not being a typical musem, the card did have some interesting content, and it's good to see some kind of commemoration for their achievements and progression in that industry regardless. They have a lot to be proud about there. Off to WGC. Maps wasn’t lying about the walk taking twenty minutes. It's a good thing that I looked it up on streetview beforehand, because I otherwise would have walked right past it without knowing it was there. Then there it was, and there I confronted a past that I couldn’t visit again. Sure, I got to play BM3 The Final at last, but my timing was off, my hands were off, there wasn’t much I could do. Along with that I can say that I’ve played on a Beatmania II cabinet, and that was better than 5th Style at least. But that was it, that was all I could stand to do. It was right there and I couldn’t bear to put up with it more than a few rounds at best. Dream big, because only disappointment follows if your smaller dreams ever are fulfilled. I don’t know why finding IKEA back in Shinjuku was so difficult, but it took a while. I bought a bag, and then I bought a bag because the other bag was at the end of the register, which makes sense. I did feed myself before getting back to the Taito station to play some songs, but it still wasn’t good enough. All thumbs. Ended the day with laundry since the timing worked. Speaking of making dreams big, it’s time to cross another one off the list tomorrow. I can’t wait.
Day 8 - Takasaki, Gunma. Oomiya, Saitama 2.
It’s a good thing that I only needed to get to Ikebukuro to transfer over to the next stop, because that’s where that particular run ended for some reason. I wonder what was up. Speaking of things getting messed up on trains, I managed to find my way on a train that needed a separate ticket, which I didn't have. The conductor found me right away and had me disembark at Uraja for me to wait for the proper transfer. The weather forecast said there’d be rain, and the travel forecast said it would take two hours to get there, and neither lied. I feel like I had more people staring at me in Gunma than other places. I will say that I found the Takasaki station area to be rather charming, with the stores that it had inside and the emphasis on the music culture there. It’s one thing to offer a piano to the public to play, but it’s another to have a public willing to use it. This location had both. Having what was essentially a Bic Camera built into the facility was a nice touch too. The Leisure Land arcade was sandwiched between other floors that had its own offering of gaming stuff, so that was an unexpected bit of a fun thing to look through. The area was clean and sparsely populated, and it wasn’t picked clean of all matter of things that would normally get snapped up, so that was interesting. Finally, I made it over to the machine. They had separate fans for each location. I got the songs and then the medals came, and that’s that. Kantou Seiou. I would have stayed a bit longer but I wanted to have the medals show up right away, and my internet wasn’t cooperating, so that’s all I could do. I think there was an Internet cafe that I could have used in the facility, but I didn’t want to deal with an awkward conversation. I did get some Lawson on the way out, as well as some trinkets from the local Gunma-chan store as well as some mini croissants and some macademia cookie things. More vocal awkwardness. Omiya was one of the stops on the way back, and I found a place to serve omrice, so that’s another one off the list. No shoes allowed inside. The value wasn’t there but the service was good enough, as was the flavor. The machines with the 20G springs are indeed legit. Back home in time for some McDonalds, and that’s another food-checklist item marked off. Takoyaki mayo dipping sauce - somehow it’s both salty and sweet. While returning to the hotel, I did happen to encounter an argument amongst two teenaged locals where the guy ended up half-heartedly kicking the girl and getting her to cry. I wonder what their argument was about. I didn’t play hero, but someone else did so enough to prevent an escalation and called the police over.
Day 9 - Sugamo, Tokyo Sky Tree, Akihabara 3, Kanda
Up early enough to decide that I should at least visit the Sky Tree while I'm there just to say that I did, and that I should visit the Sugamo street market upon its open since it was right there in front of me. I'm glad to have done so. With everything open, this felt more like what one would think to expect from a flea market environment that's operated and supported by the local populace. Small stores were open both sides of the street that go on for many blocks, and some tents and tables were set up to sell second hand goods as well. I was able to find someone selling a US Morgan dollar and he wanted only 2000Y for it, so that was an easy buy. If I would have known better to anticipate this area, I wouldn't have felt compelled to buy kitchy tourist crap that is expected as gifts elsewhere. If you are looking for a place to idly shop around that doesn't get extremely crowded and has an authentic local feel to it, consider making a point to come here. Off to Sky Tree. Getting the combo ticket for the second deck was worth it just for the lack of crowds on the upper area. If you're going to come here, consider getting a phone selfie stick or something of the kind so that you can take pictures against the windows without the structure scaffolding obstructing your view. On the subject of shopping again, this might be another area to consider visiting just for the sake of the specialty stores to be found here, such as those for chopsticks or hairpins. To close out the day, my wife reminded me to look for something from the Square Enix cafe, so that meant swinging by Akihabara yet again. Since it is within a walkway, it was a bit of a pain to find this place even with using maps, but I eventually found it and got what she wanted to find. Played some IIDX at Game Panic, which was surprisingly small and the one machine that was avaialble to play had some 2P turntable issues, so that didn't last all that long. Dinner was at a nearby place that specalized in tofu, so that was a good ramen serving with that infused. For the evening, I wandered south to Kanda to get night pictures, and found it to feel pretty similar to Ueno.
Day 10 - Ginza, Tokyo, Kanda & Akihabara 4
Launrdry in the morning. I also wanted to say that I went to Ginza in my time here, and I didn't research anywhere to go to keep it a surprise. It was a bit warmer and sunnier than usual that day, and I stuck to the main road for most of the walk, so I can't say that I found too many points of the interest along the path that I walked starting from Yurakucho station and heading out that way. High class store for high class people, and that's too rich for my peasant blood. Similarly for Tokyo proper itself, I suppose I'd have to needed to wander far away from the Yamanote vicinity to find points of interest there, as I didn't encounter anything that was remarkably distinctive here in comparison to other areas that I have previously seen. Continuing north across Nihonbashi brought me to Kanda and eventually to Akihabara yet again, as if it was a magnet that pulled me inside every time. For the sake of trying a different place I chose to play some IIDX at the Leisure Land arcade there, and I'm glad to have done that, as those machines were probably in the best coniditon that I encountered within that area. Dinner was at Tenkaippin, which I didn't realize until after I placed the order was cash only. The clerk didn't request it beforehand but I voluntarily left my passport there to show that I would return, and promptly went to the same ATM that I had found days prior in order to get the cash to pay for the bill.
Day 11 - Haneda T3, Nishi Nippori, Nippori, Uguisuidani, Otsuka, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ikebukruo, home.
The end. I resolved to take the subway over to Haneda today to get the one luggage over there and stored, and it’s a good thing that I did - there’s no easy solution for getting over there without encountering a crowd. If anything I wonder if Yamanote is actually better. Regardless, I got that much done. With the day left to go, I ventured to Nishi Nippori and I needed to summon the map several times to make sure I found the location, as it was as obscure as it could get. Just a sign on the ground for the third floor, a stairway that led to the back, an elevator that had no decoration, a single room that housed everything. Arcade PCB kits on shelves, joystick panels in exposed boxes, nicotine odor from years past - it was like I was transported to 1995 upon entry, beyond the fact that the games weren’t as old. Most of them, they did have a lot going for SF3 3rd yet. I was able to take care of some game business in a hurry since I was the only one there. It was a very pleasant respite for play in comparison to most of the other sessions. The region itself felt much the same as this arcade - old and well worn, as in well lived. Venturing south to Nippori led me to stumble upon a shrine and cemetery just by following some stairs. Usuigudani was cleaner but mostly had hotels as points of interest. Back home to buy some mochi while mochi was for sale in midday. Then to Otsuka, thinking that I would wander to Ikebukuro, but I ended up wandering back to Sugamo instead. Whoops. Meal at Sugamo, then back out to return to Shibuya and Shinjuku at night to catch evening shots, when I hadn’t done so before at these places. Good thing I did that to get Golden Gai area shots at night. With the night winding down, I decided to have one last IIDX play at Round 1 in Ikebukuro to symbolically end where I started.
Ending arcade comments
· Although the upkeep is generally better and more consistent than the US, some machines will have hardware issues here too. I was surprised by the blurriness with some of the LM IIDX machines.
· Densha De Go on the propert large cabinet is nice but quickly becomes very expensive.
· Bombergirl is OK enough and having the dedicated detonator button that pops up for hitting the base is a cute touch.
· Chase Chase Jokers feels rather clunky and I'm not sure what the game is trying to do. Interesting side screen concept at least.
· Nostalgia is delightful and would probably find a small fanbase worldwide if it had more exposure.
· Favorite IIDX locations are Taito Station in Oomiya for the light keys and Leisure Land Akihabara for the high quality of the LMs there. Honorable mention goes to the Game Versus loctation in Nishi Nihonbashi, but that might not be worth it for a dedicated trip unless you go there first thing in the morning.
Ending overall comments
This was a life altering trip for me, as would be expected. While I'm glad to have made the journey, as to be expected, I will only want to return after making an extensive redoubled effort into speaking and hearing comprehension, because I know that I came across like a blubbering idiot so many times, and it's truly aggravating because I generally know what I want to say and most of the words that are used to say it, but it just doesn't come out of my mouth properly when it needs to be done.
I welcome any questions you may have, as that will help for me to recall the memories and have me write them down.

My son is 4 month old and nearly 15lbs, I am a FTm. I’ve done a lot of research regarding sleep training and my husband and I decided it would be very beneficial for our son. Currently he sleeps very very well, he wakes up twice during the night for feeding at 12am and 5am and sleeps from 8pm to 7am. The reason we want to sleep train is because the only way to get him to go to sleep is to allow him to use my breast basically as a pacifier until he falls asleep. He doesn’t like his regular pacifiers and it’s the only way he’ll sleep. He’s been this way since he was a newborn.
My husband and I really do think allowing him to self soothe would be so beneficial for him considering he’s such a good sleeper anyway. We started sleep training last night doing the Ferber Method. Of course my son wasn’t happy, and he cried and got himself very worked up. However he DID soothe himself to sleep eventually. All in all it took around 30 minutes with us going in to try and console him every 5-10 minutes. He went to sleep and slept through to his 12am feed.
However at his 12am feed I realised his voice was hoarse for him getting so worked up. I’ve been breastfeeding him all day and it’s been getting better but I felt so guilty. My husband said I should call my son’s paediatric nurse and get some reassurance that it’s all okay. Then that’s where everything went south…
This nurse almost immediately just wasn’t listening to the story of how the night went, she just kept saying “you left a baby that young to cry for 30 minutes?!” ~ “he’s far too young to be allowed to cry all that time and be ignored” No matter how many times I explained how we did it and that he wasn’t just ‘left’ as she was suggesting. She just made me feel awful and so guilty. She told me I need to comfort him if he cries because he’s crying for a reason like his diaper or he’s hungry or needs burped. But we covered all that before we put him down!
I’m just at a loss, I don’t know whether or not we should continue. I called looking for support and reassurance and instead was made to feel like I’m abusing my son.
Any advice?

My son and I have had a long sleep journey that you can see if you look back my history but essentially we sleep trained him in his crib around 10 months and that worked for 2 months. Come 12 months and everything fell apart. I think it was a regression + he needed a schedule change but I thought I was genius and put him in a toddler bed on the floor, big mistake. Didn’t make a difference, surprise surprise. I have to lay with him for bedtime and all naps and it just isn’t working. I have to lay like a statue for naps so he doesn’t wake up and once he is on 1 nap, I am not going to bed at 7p every night haha.
It is now time to move him back into his crib and I’m going to try and also transition him to 1 nap. Is this a terrible idea? It sounds like the perfect time to sleep train since he will be tired for bed. He isn’t showing me the classic signs that is he ready other than many wake ups at night and not being able to fit in naps and awake time during the day. His WW’s have been 3.5/3.75/4.25ish. Typically wakes around 6p and bedtime at 8p.
Yesterday we tried 1 nap since he fell asleep for 10 min in the morning on a run with my husband and he slept from 12-2p, bed at 7p. Today he woke up at 7a and napped from 11:30a-1p. Should I do an early bedtime at 6-6:30p or offer a mini nap? I tried to get him to nap at 10a and 10:30a this morning with no luck so 1 nap it was today!
If I put him to bed at 6p + sleep train him tonight, I think I would have to suffer through a lot of crying. That seems like a super early bedtime considering he usually goes to bed at 8 on 2 naps. I am going to do the chair method. Thank you for your help!!!

Hi, my husband and I are planning a 10-day trip to Ireland in July. I know common advice is to rent a car, but we're more comfortable relying on public transportation, even if it that gives us less flexibility and longer travel times. We're also more interested in walking around the cities and meeting locals. I'm trying to figure out the best way to get to the cities we'd like to visit (Dublin, Cork, Galway, Derry and Belfast). We have to fly into Dublin and out of Belfast.
Day 1: Dublin Day 1 (Arrive in early afternoon) Day 2: Dublin Day 2 Day 3: Morning train from Dublin to Cork -- Cork Day 1 Day 4: Cork Day 2 (take 30 min bus to Cobh - anywhere else people would recommend?) Day 5: Cork to Galway (4-5 hour train ride) - the train stops in Limerick, is it worth spending a night there? Day 6: Galway Day 1 Day 7: Galway Day 2 (Aran Island) Day 8: Galway to Derry (3 hour bus from Galway to Sligo, 2.5 hour train ride from Sligo to Derry) - spend evening in Derry Day 9: Spend day in Derry, 2 hour train ride to Belfast (spend evening there) Day 10: Belfast Day - fly out in the evening
I feel like the end is rushed. I'm unsure of the best way to get from Galway to Derry. Would it make more sense to take the train from Galway back to Dublin, and then Dublin to Belfast, and just do a day trip to Derry from Belfast? We really want to see northern Ireland while we're there. I'm considering we spend less time either Galway or Cork so that we have more time up there. What do folks think? Thank you so much!! We're very excited.

I 32F have a bio kid who is 10 months old. I thought having a baby would help me feel closer to my SD’s (15 & 18), but it has had the opposite effect. I don’t love my SD’s and it makes me feel so awkward. I even hesitate to tell my own baby “I love you” out loud in front of them because it feels rude? My SD’s and I don’t say that to each other.
Being a stepmom makes me so sad. I feel like I miss out on so much. Even “small things” like wanting to take mommy and me photos for Mother’s Day. My husband said I shouldn’t because it would make his teens feel left out. But they could go and do something like that with their mom, and that would be fine!?
Any advice for hoping off of the resentment train?

Round 7 of Ragnarok was approaching, and Brunhilde, accompanied by Göll, was checking on the Medbay, where both humans and Gods were treated, after they had won their round in Ragnarok.
“How are they, Mary?”
Brunhilde asked, and a woman, around her middle ages and dressed in red robes with white cloth covering her hair, turns to Brunhilde, while she was tending to Chang’e, victor of round 2 but still not completely healed up due to the injuries Tsukiyomi inflicted on her.
“The Goddess is in better conditions, but she still can’t move, and as for her leg, it’s healing too, we were lucky her husband brought it along her”
Brunhilde was about to reply, but the tv opens, announcing that the Gods have revealed their next fighter:Lucifer.
“Tch, prideful bastard”
Brunhilde looks away, before Mary tells a few nurses to notify Asclepius of something, walking towards Brunhilde.
“Who will you send?”
She asks Brunhilde, who quickly scrolls through the available roster, looking at a young woman in armor.
“I’ll have to send her, I know Lucifer has a shield, and she can easily evade his other weapons”
Mary looked at the selected fighter:Joan of Arc, before shaking her head.
“No, she’s too important…..I’ll go”
Brunhilde and Göll look at Mary, shocked.
“M-Mary? A-Are you crazy? The medbay needs you!”
Göll exclaims to Mary, before Asclepius, with his caduceus, interrupts her.
“I got this, plus, we still have plenty of both Human and God medics and healers, we can do without the Virgin Mary”
Asclepius answers Göll, Brunhilde looking at Mary and changing her selection off Joan and to Mary.
“Very well, let’s go meet your Valkyrie then”
On the side of the Gods, Lucifer was looking at the arena from the Gods balcony, while Zeus, Artemis, Hermes and Thanatos were looking at him.
“You stupid fool, why did you announce yourself publicly?”
Thanatos scolds Lucifer, who simply shrugs him off.
“Relax old man, I want to see the humans fear as I net our 6th win effortlessly, I’ve hoarded enough sins to last me a gauntlet of all 7 human fighters at once”
While Lucifer gloats, Artemis sighs annoyed.
“Sin of Pride? More like Sin of Stupidity”
Lucifer turns and snarls at Artemis.
“And who lost 2 legs and an arm against that shit relic of a plane? Huh? Mind your place”
Artemis, Hermes and Thanatos were taken aback, before Zeus grew all muscular.
“Careful with your words, Devil, Michael can still fight”
Lucifer looks at Zeus and scoffs.
“Whatever, no wonders that stupid rabbit sided with them with your attitudes, I’m going there right now”
Lucifer walks away, Artemis’ hand quivering in rage as she firmly grips her bow, Thanatos following Lucifer.
“I’ll go check on how Michael and Amaterasu are”
Hermer looked at the roster while Artemis and Zeus were looking at Lucifer and Thanatos walking out.
“Oh, what a….curious choice”
Hermes shows Zeus an image of Mary, as he then smiles.
“Heh, she’s still wasting weak fighters against powerful ones? Are you secretly wishing for us to win, Brunhilde?”
While Lucifer went inside his room, Thanatos went inside the medbay, surprised to see Thanatos and Hippocrates patching up Amaterasu, while Lakhsmi was tending to David.
“Where is Mary? I need to speak to her”
Thanatos asks Asclepius, before he points to the door Thanatos went in, Thanatos sighing disappointed, while Brunhilde and Mary were now in Brunhilde’s office, Randgriz looking at Mary.
“Are you sure of this pick sister?”
Göll asked Brunhilde, as Mary and Randgriz were looking for weapons.
“Lucifer is a very well armored asshole, both armor and shield, so Randgriz’s Shieldbreaker will be very useful”
Brunhilde said, before Mary and Randgriz returned, Mary held a thurible.
“Mary…..what is that?”
Göll asked, Mary looking at her Thurible.
“A thurible, it’s used to spread incense in ceremonies, but Randgriz said we could use it as a weapon”
Mary answered, before she swung the Thurible like a flail.
“Plus, smoke can be a great help, you told me Lucifer has enhanced sight and reach with his helmet and hook right? The smoke can render them useless”
Brunhilde looked at Mary and Randgriz, nodding.
“It does fit a holy saint of your caliber, Mary”
Brunhilde then opened the doors of her office.
“You should go now, match should start soon”
Mary and Randgriz walk out, as Brunhilde and Göll head for their balcony.
“Sister, please don’t tell me you’re using the same plan you did against Thanatos”
Göll asked Brunhilde, fearful of Mary’s fate, but Brunhilde reassured her.
“No, Lucifer has no idea of who his opponent is yet, so imagine his surprise when his extreme opposite will stand on the other side of the Arena”
Göll looked anxiously at the Arena as Heimdall began announcing.
“IN ROUND 7 OF RAGNAROK, WITH THE GODS AT 4 POINTS AND THE HUMANS AT 2, THE GODS HAVE SENT THEIR TRUMP CARD!”
As Heimdall spoke, the arena entrance on the side of the Gods bursted into flame, with the screams of the damned echoing around the arena and unsettling the audience, a figure with 6 wings slowly walking out of them.
“HE IS NONE OTHER THAN THE SIN OF PRIDE! THE STRONGEST REBEL OF HEAVEN, NOW THEIR BIGGEST ASSET!”
Lucifer stepped out of the flames, as they slowly turned into a set of Armor, gauntlets, a helmet, a shield, a sword sheathed on his hip, a spear, and a hook wrapped around his right forearm, while Lucifer spread his pitch black bat wings out.
“THE LEADER OF HELL! LU! CI! FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRR!”
The crowd of the Gods immediately began cheering and chanting his name, as the humans started to pray and beg for mercy.
“LUCIFER! LUCIFER! LUCIFER! LUCIFER! LUCIFER!”
A few spotlights turned to Lucifer, who had the biggest grin ever, as Brunhilde scoffs while Göll is shocked and scared by Lucifer.
“WOOOOAHHH! H-he looks so terrifying”
Heimdall then points to the human entrance of the arena, where everything gets darker, before all the spotlights aim at the entrance.
“HEY! Keep one on me!”
Lucifer complains, before a chant in ancient Hebrew could be heard from the entrance, a dim light slowly emerges.
“BUT WHO HAVE THE HUMANS SENT?”
The light grew a bit brighter as the chanting grew alongside, Mary slowly walking out, swinging her thurible with one hand while preaching a bible on the other, Lucifer lifting the visor of his helmet.
“Wait what the fuck?” “THEY CALL HER THE GREATEST WOMAN WHO HAS EVER LIVED!”
The human audience immediately brightened up from the chanting, while all Christian, Jewish and Islamic humans all began preaching in Latin, Hebrew and Arabic.
“THE ONLY HUMAN WHO HAS EVER ASCENDED TO HEAVEN ALIVE! SAY HALLELUJAH TO THE ONE! AND ONLY! VIRGIN MARYYYYYYYY”
The human audience explodes in a hopeful cheer as Mary finishes preaching, the Hebrew chanting dying down as Mary puts the Bible inside her robes, and opening the thurible, but no smoke coming out of it yet.
“Oh you’ve got to be FUCKING KIDDING ME?”
Lucifer looks at Mary, before chuckling.
“Heh…..this is….”
Lucifer then explodes in laughter, pointing at Mary.
“PFFFHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAHHHH…..OHHHHhhhhhhh, is that…i-is that a fucking incense spreader?”
Lucifer could barely say in his laughing fit, supporting himself with his spear.
“Y-y’know f-for a second I-I thought that..haha……was a flail or a mace..”
Lucifer slowly began to recover from laughing, still distraught at Mary’s “weapon” of choice
“Ohh, you might kill me with laughter, Brunhilde…..phewwfff…..oh, t-this is a very good joke, now bring out the real fighter”
Lucifer asked Heimdall, who looked at him confused.
“Well…..she’s your fighter, she’s in the roster and all”
Lucifer looked at Mary, then at the balcony, directly at Brunhilde.
“Oh I see I see, you think this bitch can win, because she’s a saint? Why not send your other female Saint huh?”
Heimdall then interrupts Lucifer.
“WILL THE GODS ADVANCE TO 5 POINTS, OR WILL THE HUMANS SCORE THEIR 3RD? MAY ROUND 7 OF RAGNAROK BEGIN!”
As soon as Heimdall announced the beginning of the round, Mary began to swing the thurible back and forth, creating incense smoke around her, Lucifer still smiling from Mary’s weapon of choice.
“Seriously, how are you even going to hurt me with that thing?”
Lucifer then charges forwards, slashing at Mary, who swings her thurible, deflecting the hit as she steps back, surprising Lucifer.
“That footwork….someone must have trained you”
Lucifer comments on Mary deflecting and dodging his Sword of Wrath.
“Will you be surprised if I were to tell you-”
Mary was answering Lucifer, before Lucifer grabs his spear and tries to thrust at her gut, Mary smacking the pole with her thurible.
“-that it’s all self-taught?” “Bullshit, I know a fighter when I’m fighting one”
Lucifer says, briefly glancing at the balcony of the Gods, eyeing Zeus specifically, before his helmet warned him of an incoming hit, and he dodged Mary’s thurible.
“Lucifer charges towards Mary, but she dodges it effortlessly, deflecting the blow with her Thurible, who would’ve known such an unorthodox weapon was actually useful?”
Heimdall comments, Lucifer already growing annoyed.
“Alright let’s get this over with, BEELZEBUB! HOOK OF GLUTTONY!”
The hook wrapped around Lucifer’s forearm unraveled, and he then swings it at Mary, who dodged it, before the Hook then flies around, and ensnares Mary.
“What? How did that hook fly like that?”
Göll asked Brunhilde, before she pointed at a pair of fly wings on the hook.
“Lucifer’s arsenal is consisted of armor and weapons that capture the 7 Deadly Sins, the Hook of Gluttony is able to grab and ensnare everything that Lucifer wants, as he has free control over it”
Brunhilde said, worried, as Mary tried to break free while Lucifer grabbed his spear.
“ASMODEUS! SPEAR OF LUST!”
As Lucifer was about to thrust, Mary’s thurible spewed incense, blinding Lucifer for a moment, and completely engulfing the two.
“Lucifer has successfully ensnared the Virgin Mary! But she retaliates by creating a cloud of holy Incense!”
Helheim announces, while Lucifer tries to get out of the cloud, unraveling the Hook and letting Mary go, the cloud dissipating immediately as Mary then charges at Lucifer.
“And the champion for Humanity charges towards the Devil himself!”
Heimdall announced from the sidelines, Lucifer looking at Mary and deflecting her swings with his Shield of Envy.
“Hey, sister Brun, you chose Randgriz specifically because of her ability right?”
Göll asked Brunhilde, who nodded.
“Yes, but a mere swing like that won’t be enough, for that shield and all of Lucifer’s weapons, are as strong as the sins he has accumulated, and still is”
Brunhilde said, pointing at the dark aura that Lucifer is emitting, while Mary then swings her thurible upwards, shooting something from inside it:caltrops made out of gold.
“The Virgin Mary shoots caltrops out of her Thurible! Is she planning to keep her distance from Lucifer?”
Lucifer looks at the caltrops, sheathing his sword.
“Oh, you think your little caltrops can stop me?”
Lucifer kicks the caltrops with his sabatons, Mary winding up a swing.
“Tch, I almost wish the human wins, I hate that bastard”
Artemis complains, having moved her wheelchair closer to the balcony, Zeus nodding in agreement.
“Yes, especially after everything he’s done, but at least my dear brother Hades is now safe”
Zeus said, a bit ashamed of himself.
“What? He let him go? In exchange for being allowed to fight here?”
Artemis asks, Hermes nodding.
“The amount of sinners still living in Earth is probably worth fighting directly for”
Zeus said, looking at the fight.
“Yet, he did not send one of the other 6 sins, but he went in himself, but I’m sure he’ll win against that human woman”
Artemis replies.
[End of chapter 1]

My son is almost 5 and was diagnosed with “mild to moderate autism” two years ago according to the CARS test. Based on symptoms though, I would say he’s definitely more in the moderate category. He’s still very limited verbally and uses a lot of scripts and echolalia but can say some original sentences and request things he wants. We’ve been working on potty training and he’s been making progress but there are still some basic things he can’t do. He can go to the potty on his own but still can’t tell us when he has to use the bathroom so when we’re out in public he has to wear a pull up. He also pees his pants sometimes because he STILL has trouble pulling down his pants. Regarding speech, he has made progress but is still not conversational, doesn’t ask questions and can’t answer most questions, even “yes” or “no” despite working on this since the beginning of the school year. I try to be optimistic and focus on the progress he HAS made, but it gets exhausting sometimes and I feel like I’m just constantly lying to myself telling myself it’s not as bad as it really is. Most kids his age are able to have full conversations and he still doesn’t even understand yes or no or the concept of a question. While we’ve made progress potty training, I feel like it’s going to be a long, slow, years long process and all I can hope for is that he’ll be trained by the time he’s six. It’s also a very depressing feeling to feel like you have to just keep lowering your standards as time goes by. His school tells me he’s “smart” but sometimes I wonder if they’re just sugarcoating. I feel like I’ve been pulling my hair out for the last two years trying to get him to improve but when you have an autistic child EVERYTHING is 10 TIMES HARDER than it should be and some days I feel like I just don’t have enough fuel in my tank. He also has ARFID, so trying to feed him is a nightmare and he woke my husband and I up early this morning during a meltdown over a toy where he smashed a glass plate and it shattered all over the floor. Sometimes I just feel like what’s the point anymore?

Some background. When I (26F) was in college I did a summer program where I got to perform with other students ages 16-22ish. The program was not affiliated with any school. I was 18 the first summer and I became really close with the guy ("Gus" 39M) who was in charge of teaching me and my peers. I took a summer off to do some service work for a church and went back the year after, where Gus was still in charge of teaching students. While I was gone, Gus and I communicated frequently via email and FB, with him giving me lots of support because it was hard being away from home. Over time, as I leaned on him for support, he began to do the same.
The summer I went back, Gus and I remained very close. While he would be teaching me and my peers, we would also still be exchanging messages and joking around. Outside of the program, we would hang out and get food, he would give me rides (he said physical touch was his love language and would often give me long hugs or put his hand on my knee). He would always pay, saying he knew I was tight on money because of college. I didn't realize at the time that this was weird or not right for someone in a teaching position to do with a student, even an adult one. When people started asking me if Gus and I were dating, I let Gus know that people thinking that made me uncomfortable and we should reevaluate how we act because I wasn't interested in that. We were just friends. It seemed like he understood, but over those next months, he would get upset with me when I had more free time to give to my boyfriend (now husband "Shaun") than I did Gus.
Shaun and I got engaged and Gus was upset I didn't tell him directly (we told our siblings and parents and then made a FB post for everyone else). It really soured my excitement. At our wedding, Gus sat a table the whole time and didn't come to the dance floor where I was the whole night. He was then upset that he didn't get a picture with me in my wedding dress before I changed.
Over the next few years this same pattern continued where Gus would be upset when I didn't spend more time with him, he'd get upset if I wasn't texting him every day, but he didn't want to hang out with me and Shaun together because "he didn't know Shaun that well". I tried to set boundaries multiple times and tried to explain to Gus that I was feeling like he was using me as a fill in SO, but he wouldn't ever finish talking through it, would say he understood or had questions, things would cool for a few months and then he'd start complaining about the lack of time we spent together again. I was still teaching at this school with him. My husband started teaching there as well and Gus complained saying "this was the last thing we had that was just us". I had started feeling anxious having to spend any time with Gus.
When I started working with the summer program, Gus was still there as well. I had to do a training for safety with minors in order to work there and that's when I started to realize Gus had developed a weird, unhealthy emotional attachment to me and had been ignoring the rules teachers are meant to follow concerning students (even adult students). He had been love bombing me, gaslighting me and emotionally abusing me for years. And I had no clue what to do with this realization. My heart sank. I loved being friends with Gus but he had abused me, my trust and my friendship. I decided I would just start cutting him out and leave it at that.
The following summer, I had a friend who had also been a student in the program who was now working with the program ask me how I got Gus to leave me alone. Apparently, she'd been feeling uncomfortable around him as well for similar reasons (though she was older and smarter than I was when he started pushing on her). I told her I hadn't, really, I just stopped talking to him.
This past year, I got a more permanent position with that same school. I had thought that Gus was no longer working there much, so I thought it would be okay. I work directly with someone who I'd known for years, and had known Gus for decades. Gus and him hang out every Sunday and they had worked together for just as many years. Like I said, I thought Gus wasn't working in that same role anymore, so I took the job and thought nothing of him. I was wrong. And I had a breakdown knowing I'd have to work directly with Gus now. My boss had no clue any of this was a thing and I hadn't previously mentioned any of to anyone besides my husband. After realizing I'd be working with Gus, I broke down to my boss who encouraged me to let the program coordinator of the summer program know about what had happened. I was worried at this point because it was clear it wasn't just me - if it had been, I would've suffered in silence. So, I let the coordinator know. I also texted Gus one last time to let him know I could not and would not be involved in this sick twisted friendship any longer. I would work with him, but that was it.
Gus was asked to resign from his position as a result and he was informed that I was the individual who had made the report. I still think it was wrong for whoever to betray my anonymity but I haven't done anything about it.
Now onto the problem as a result of all of this. The school we all 3 work with has no clue that Gus was asked to resign his position working with students because of an inappropriate relationship with a student. Gus and my boss exclude me from major decisions, even though Gus is hired as a para professional and I am hired as an Assistant Coach. On paper, Gus and I should at least be on the same level, if not me above him, but he has years of tenure.
I kept asking my boss why I wasn't being included, and he kept giving me bullshit excuses about how I wasn't intentionally being excluded, Gus and him just hang out a lot and end up talking about work at the same time. Things finally came to a head a few days ago when I was excluded from our staff FB chat group for the past few months until that day. I confronted my boss on why I had been excluded, telling him it wasn't really about the chat, it was about everything else leading up to it. I asked him again why I had been excluded from major decisions and he finally told me it was because Gus was uncomfortable being around me. To say I was shocked and angry was an understatement. I was already crying from frustration before he admitted this.
I reminded my boss that I was the victim, not Gus. He told me "well he's not NOT the victim, his whole life is different now because of your report". I reminded him that he encouraged me to bring it forward and he said "don't turn this on me, you chose to do it" completely ignoring that I had told him I was unsure what to do but just wanted him to know because Gus and I would be working together. He has no concept for the idea that he's shaming me as the victim. He told me he was trying to "mitigate" the situation and every time he had suggested bringing me in on things, he "could just see Gus tense up and get comfortable" and so he decided to leave me out, instead. My boss is choosing his best friend over me. I asked my boss what my future here could possibly be if he was going to choose Gus over me, and he went off on how he values me, but if I feel I need to leave, then that's my choice.
I'm just so angry that I'm getting punished for something Gus did. I'm losing out on opportunities because I was emotionally abused. And no one else on the staff has any clue and they all use love Gus. It feels like no one knows or cares that I'm getting pushed out of my dream job because an older man got the hots for one of his students and couldn't control himself. I don't even know how to bring this up to the administration, because I clearly can't work in these conditions and they need to know if I leave it's because my boss is siding with my emotional abuser on all of this.

I put down my dog of 6.5 years, my beloved first dog who I adopted when I was 22, back in April. The circumstances could not have been worse and I was not in my right state of mind. I didn’t think of all the other options and I never imagined something like this could happen.
I adopted her when she was 8 weeks old. For the first 18 months it was just the two of us. When all the trainings up to canine good citizen, she did dog daycare every day because I worked long hours. After work we’d always go on trail runs and she was perfect and never needed a leash as she had no concern for other dogs or people. When I’d travel she’d always be watched by rover sitters with other dogs and kids. I’d often watch friends dogs and vice versa. She was the smartest and best dog.
When she was 18 months, I got married and we moved due to the military. My husband and I then go our second dog, a female vizsla at 8 weeks old. They instantly got along perfectly, always playing and chasing eachother. For 5 years it was bliss. They did everything together. They even lived with my family and 5 siblings and their two dogs for a year while we deployed. Never any issues, and again I’d often watch friends dogs and vice versa. My life revolved around them and they always got runs and fetch and hikes every day. I loved it.
Then when she turned 6 and my other dog was 4.5, she started to change. In November, I took her to the vet because she has been reclusing herself and acting uncharacteristically aggressive, attacking my other dog twice and growling, snapping, and barking at me. She had never done anything like this towards another person or dog, let alone towards me and her buddy of almost 5 years. It was very erratic but it seemed like she must have not been feeling well because she would always be with me, it was very odd she’d go in her crate by herself for such long periods of time. But she wouldn’t always act aggressively so it made no sense.
The vet did blood work and said it was normal so she was prescribed fluoxetine and trazodone. I should have pushed that something much more serious was going on, but I figured if the meds wouldn’t help I would’ve seen that quickly. But the meds seemed to help, she was back to hanging out with me and playing with my other dog and no more weird aggressive outbursts. I stupidly let my guard down. It was all perfect again for 4 months. I attributed her lethargy, slower mentation, and laying in weird places to the meds. She went back to the vet twice once for weird leg swelling that went away and again for vaccines. No issues were noted and she was again her sweet self so I thought everything was good.
Then at the end of March, she suddenly attacked my other dog again. We were heading out the gate for our daily , drawing blood this time from my other dog’s ear. I went to check on her a little while later and again she was barking and growling at me. I called my vet who didn’t have any appointments available that day. I should have immediately taken her to the ER vet or somewhere else but I stupidly didn’t. We were going out of town the next day for my friend’s wedding and then I had a work trip right after. When we picked up the dogs from their kennel, she was totally her usual self. We thought it was maybe a fluke. We kept them separate and then while he as gone just husband brought them back and said they seemed fine so we just separated them when we were not home.
Then a few days later, she attacked my other dog again out of nowhere. The dogs had been sitting on the couch all morning while I was in my office. I walked into the room and my other dog got up to go to the back door. She followed and stood next to her. All of a sudden she launched right for her neck. My other dog was just screaming. I tried everything to get her to let go without getting my hands in there and nothing would work so I was afraid she’d kill my other dog so I used my heads to separate her jaws from my other dogs neck. I was somehow able to hold her down and open the back door for my other dog to run out. She was still frenzied for a few seconds then when she calmed down I put her in my room and went to check on my other dog. She was in the back corner of the yard shaking and had cuts to her face, neck, and ears and I received a bite that needed stitches to my hand while trying to get her off of her. My parents and my husband told me I had to put her to sleep that I couldn’t take the risk anymore before she kills my other dog or hurts me or someone in our neighborhood. That I could never trust her again and something was wrong with her.
In my state of panic I made the vet appointment while at the ER. When i got home we took her to the vet and without even doing other tests or offering a solution, our vet just said she felt putting her to sleep was the right decision and this was likely in her brain and not fixable and in my state of trauma and shock I somehow let that happen. Ever since I have been wanting to throw up. I hate myself I don’t know how I did that to her and I feel like my husband and my parents betrayed me for telling me this was the only way when I was obviously not in my right state of mind and I was the only one who saw it happen. I wasn’t thinking straight. It never even occurred to me go see a behaviorist and that was never suggested.
She was my first dog, I had her from 8 weeks and she was always perfect and trustworthy. I can’t believe I threw that all away. I feel like an idiot for taking her to this vet and trusting her and for making it seem so hopeless. I should have gotten multiple opinions before ever doing something as big and irreversible as this. Something must have been going on with her and I didn’t help her. I feel just emptiness and regret and can’t believe she is gone or that I killed her. Maybe I could have rehomed my other dog and everything would have been okay and they could both still be alive.
Has this happened to anyone with a middle aged dog? I feel so blind sided.

A wife posted in my husband’s regiment FB page anonymously that her husband was being sent back overseas after getting his 3 weeks of paternal leave. She just had a baby 15 months ago and now has a 3 week old at home. She mentioned being depressed and not wanting to take care of herself. That she needed someone to help take the load off so she could do basic things for herself.
The FRG response? “Go get meds” “here, there’s this event you can take your babies to” (um, the baby is 3 weeks old). “Get command involved”. I feel so bad for this woman. No “let’s get a meal train set up for her” or “reach out to me if you want help with childcare or help with household chores so you can get sleep since you just gave birth”.
These are the same people that told me I can’t give birth by myself and need support (my husband is overseas). Told me to come to their coffee meetings at Starbucks “for support” and now I’m being told to just drive myself to the hospital when I go into labor.
I’m trying to reach out to her to see how I can help, bring food, etc.

At the dinner table the other night SS17 started this super fake heavy breathing clutching his throat and making a pained face. It was VERY obviously fake and when we didn’t do anything he stopped after a minute completely fine went back to stuffing his face. There was no wheezing, breaths were normal depth all long and deep, not shallow or short. I have had asthma diagnosed since I was 15ish but probably had it all my life.
I asked my husband later about it and he said the day before SS17 had asked randomly if you can develop asthma out of nowhere. Before that he had told his dad he didn’t want to play football anymore because for his senior year he will be on the JV team. Background, this kid is lazy and has to be pushed to do anything. He’s smart and he is not depressed, but would much prefer to eat, sit, and play with legos than anything else. (And no he does not have ADHD). We’ve told both of my SS that they have to play a sport in school. They are athletic, healthy, capable and need the activity and the experience of being on a team. They come home from a month at their mothers with quite of bit of extra weight on them and tell us how they sat and played video games the entire time and ate junk food.
We did not force them to choose football, they both got into it and SS17 has been paying for four years and every year he expressed that he’s really glad he’s on the team. He will complain once in a while about practices and right now he’s going into spring training after mostly doing weights all winter, so I’m sure he’s getting pushed more which he hates. He doesn’t work very hard at it so of course he doesn’t get much playing time but he gets to travel with the team and they actually won their state championship this year.
Anyway, his pride is hurt because he didn’t get put on varsity, yet he won’t work hard. He can choose a different sport OR get an after school job. We’ve told him those are the options, he has to do at least one but can’t do both bc that’s too much. Anyway, so I’m suspicious immediately of any sudden health issues he’s having that look extremely fake, PLUS he has a physical for sports next week… timing…
On top of that my SO told me BM historically has faked illness to get out of things. She was in the military and faked asthma (ding ding ding) to get out of things. I would put MONEY on him complaining about football to her, her either making a comment about having asthma and getting out of things but I wouldn’t put it past her to straight up coach him to fake it for the physical.
We’re going to skip the school physical and he’s going to have his done by our family doctor so my husband can be there and someone who knows him is checking him out. But I’m just sick of the bs BM is teaching these boys. She doesn’t have full custody, sees them periodically through the year and they talk to her on the phone weekly.
Just venting… anyone else deal with BM coaching or planting ideas about poor behaviochoices with SKs?

My husband & I separated several months back and for good reason, because we can’t get a long. Everything is always my fault, as was pointed out by our therapist prior to separating. Anyway! I picked up our 5 year old this morning. I called my STBX and said I’d be over in 30 mins. Then I text him when I was on my way. I get there and my child is playing in the front yard. As soon as I pull up, his Dad sees me and walks inside to wash dishes, but leaves the front door open. I tell my 5 year old “Say Bye to Daddy” so he pops his head in from the front door and says Bye. My STBX starts scolding him saying “You still love Daddy right?” to which our 5 year old of course says yes, and my STBX said “Well then come give me a hug and kiss!” So my 5 year old sorta hung the head and walked over to hug and kiss him. Then my STBX follows me to the car as I’m strapping our 5 year old in to scold me saying that I needed to make sure our 5 year old hugs and kisses him. I said “I told our child to say Bye to you, if YOU wanted a hug you should’ve put the dishes down and come and got one.” Later my STBX text me saying it’s my “job as a Mother to tell my child to hug and kiss their Dad” and accused me of “training” my child to be against him since we are divorcing. I feel like if I knew what time my STBX was coming to grab our child, I’d make sure I said goodbye and hugged them, etc prior to leaving. Not putting this responsibility onto my child or the person who I’m clearly no longer in a relationship with. So AITAH?

My husband has agreed to read a book on ADHD so he can understand me better. He has medical training, but obviously that doesnt mean he knows how the disorder affects people. I say that to preface it that the book would be best if there are good research studies in there to back it up?
Most books I have found have been to help people cope with ADHD. And, Russel Barkleys book on if someone you love has ADHD has been both underwhelming, shaming and not accurate for me specifically- doesnt really vibe with the female brain part of me, and he and I don't agree on the fact that ADHD is in fact... a challenge but one that has lots of gifts!
Anyone have any reccs that help illustrate the challenges and blessings of ADHD for someone who is willing to learn, very research-oriented, practical, pragmatic?

Hey! We are traveling on the Mardi Gras this fall. My group includes my husband and me, my MIL, my son (15), and my girls (1.5 year old twins). I've read some pretty negative reviews for the ship, including not having enough to do and overcrowding. I have also seen a bunch of tiktoks that show how crowded everything is. This will be our first big family trip since having our babies. Are the twins really not allowed on the splash pad unless they are toilet trained? We will be bringing out travel stroller, are elevators really that busy? We are currently on the waitlist for the early dining option, chances we will be able to get it and not have to deal with my time dining? I am close to having buyer's remorse for making such an expensive vacation purchase... I feel like I am going to need a lot of patience for this trip....

My partner has been gone on an important work trip since Monday. He won't be home until late next Tuesday. That leaves me to parent our 3 kids (6 and 4x2) and deal with our dog and also work.
Holy shit, it is exhausting. There is just zero downtime because of my kid's dynamics with eachother and their ages. Thankfully I work 4 days a week right now cause i needed to use a bunch of the 5th weekday in lieu of the hours i miss cause I've been late all week and have to leave early to pick up the dog and children from 2 different places.
My husband works from home and usually does a bunch of stuff during the day like laundry and dishes and feeding our frogs, making their fruit flies etc. So having to do all that plus the things i would normally do has left me so appreciative of equal parenting.
I've gotten some help a couple evening as i have dog training to go to, but it's just not the same as an intuitive partner who does things without asking and doesn't need a bunch of explaining how to care for our kids.
It's a long weekend and we realised our kids won't have childcare on monday so my chance at getting a single day off won't be happening. Wish me luck bromos 😬🙃

I doubt you'll read this. And I know you and I will never really forgive me for what I said to you.
You could forgive another man probably, but not me. I understand why. So do you. Part of chess is pieces have different value.
That's not the point of what I'm trying to get at with you.
It is at it's nucleus, sure. But not the point I am trying to address.
First and most pressing- read, research, thoroughly understand time through Revelations. It's happening now.
Stupidity has always been more common than brilliance. Do not follow the crowd. That's the gambit.
I think you're falling for it. You have walked right onto dead land. Texas is not safe. The same wall that keeps you safe can also keep you prisoner.
War is upon us. And we gon lose. Big time. Already have. Hell, I helped but barely.
When I went to the desert, I know you know I wasn't no pencil pusher.
That's true. But what I was trained to do was to find things. Look for stuff. People.
Things like weapons, people buildin bombs, kidnappin, awful stuff, right?
We would stuff out of wood for them. They don't really have trees over there. And we would install things like water purification systems, stuff like that bc people out there use the same water to shit in as they do to drink. Make huts out of sand and trash. Anyway, folks'd try to sabotage critical infrastructure bc they understood we use it for regional control.
Truth be told, that's all they wanted to.
I'm sure you understand now that the news, both red and blue as they are still flavors of Kool Aid, does nothin but lie.
Anyway, I was diligent enough to start asking some important questions. Payin attention to what the grand design is.
I play chess. Chess and the Bible tells you everything I promise. Not some youtubin hipster.
So I splitttttttt. And they didn't like that one bit. Nope.
And I never killed anybody. I would only capture them. Chess. And many times, they did not like that.
In my life, I have killed an ungodly amount of insects and such, and they have hearts and ideas too, but maybe like 2 squirrels by gun, idk by tire, not much, 2 possums, a few birds, and a couple snakes. I told people I did when I was young. I was just tryin to be cool. I lied. But I absolutely would if somebody was a threat to someone I love or committing evil on others.
I told you I never done anything over there I had to hang my head about. That's true. Get a gun, learn to use it to protect your family, have a plan and somewhere very rural to go.
Anyway, onto us.
...
First, you and I both know I don't now nor have I ever really thought anything like that about you.
I said that to hurt you. Bc I could feel that you knew you were hurting me. Idk why you think that bc I was never mean to you that that is weakness in want. No. That is the strength in love. So small to think that's power. You know I would've made you feel powerful the right way, right?
I'm proud of you. And I'm sorry I said that to you.
You were my friend Devon.
I love you too. When you care about something, you just want what's best for them.
I don't think I'm the best thing for you or you for me anymore.
It doesn't change the fact that I love you. Probly nothin ever will bc you wont let it by giving me the chance.
Maybe I get it now.
Maybe that's it.
Bc we can hurt each other in ways that other people couldn't do to us.
Maybe that's why.
I don't know.
I don't think you love me anymore. And I don't think I love you anymore.
How could we?
I think it's our first nature to love each other. But we will always wind up in the loop we do.
I hope I broke us out by force.
I wanted to break us out gently.
I still want what's best for you.
I am going to find a girl and marry her and have a kid with her.
And I'm going to make it work.
That wouldn't have been something we would've had to do, it just would've worked on it's own.
Don't feel like I walked up and stuffed that money in your tits and spit on the ground. That's the way you make me feel anyway every time I'm nice to you. Your post said you were a single mom. Pssshh when? That's how you speak of the men you were with instead of me while you raised your son. Stuff like that hurts me girl. Seeing you proposed to with traffic goin by hurts me girl. You, your defense mechanisms only prove how deep and unresolved your feelings for me were.
That's not bc of me. It's just not.
It's bc of the way you see me.
As a vulnerability.
Same here girl. And you tiny. I hate that.
I don't hate you bc of that. I know your snapchat avatar was the last outfit you saw me in for years.
I know you kept my painting. Maybe up until recently.
I threw your leather jacket away. I made myself.
I made myself do those mean things to you so you would understand I would tolerate it no more.
I could feel your anger in the bottom of my heart when you saw I shared your post.
I forgave you Devon. Instantly, every time.
And you never even asked me. I am Milton fucking Bradley with the games at this point. Let's not.
I don't want to haunt you. I don't want you to haunt me.
I think that's common ground.
You went from I think you're annoyed it's not working to you refusing to tell me you didn't love me and we had no chance bc you didn't know the future in the span of 20 minutes or so. You told him you did know the future when you said til death do us part.
I don't want to fuck with you in an unhealthy way but I think mastering survival mode means there's nothing you're running from anymore and bein able to look everyone in the eyes.
I'm not bein poetic when I say I can feel you.
I mean, seriously, why else would I care to such a degree?
That has to stop. I can't be half the world away when all of a sudden I can feel you doin something. Got somethin goin on. Wanting me. Calls out to me like kids scream for help around Boe Jiden.
For whatever reason, I don't know. But it aint the one we was made for.
I'll leave you with this- of all the people I've ever been around anywhere on God's green Earth that HAARP and all that other shit are poisoning, you're the only one I never felt alone with. Even when you were gone. That mattered to me.
Don't ever let anybody talk to you like that ever again. If that husband of yours can't wipe someone's face off their head for treating you like that then you use some of this to get his ass karate classes and one of them mushrooms from super mario.