Format for maternity leave letter

Throwaway account. I dated H at the beginning of college. We were very happy up until year 3 of our relationship due to some of my repressed trauma from a sexual assault came rushing back to me. I won't get into too much detail, as I don't want to excuse my responsibility for my actions, but I ended up getting legal help and getting it settled before it went to trial.
During this time, I felt as though I was unraveling at the seams because it was inhibiting me from getting into nursing school and truly succeeding with my life. I had a best friend G that really understood me, but we always kept emotional distance from one another since I was in a relationship at the time. About year 4-4.5 into my relationship with H, we took a break and I realized I also had feelings for G. It was something that came on gradually over time, and it was more of a realization that I always wanted to be in Gs life no matter what that capacity meant.
While on my break (I'm aware it needed to end in a break up but I was a stupid kid) I confessed to G. We ended up having sex, and I was distraught because I loved both of these people very much. That being said, I wasn't aware that while I loved H I was no longer IN love with H. We had grown in different directions, but at the time he would have told me otherwise. I came back to H and told him I thought I was polyamorous because I've always loved people deeply and had a high craving for connection - not realizing that I had attachment issues at the time. I told H that I understood if he said he didn't want to participate in it - but he ended up saying he wanted to give it a try.
We moved in together, and I kept information on my partners very minimal. I would tell friends that I was polyamorous, but that I didn't want them talking about it because I didn't want people to judge me - which should have been a red flag right there. As time went on, I continued the behavior and would often be really irritable with H and in general. He kept trying to make things work, even if it meant it immaculated him.
After 5 years of dating, I called it off with H. Dating H in the middle of my poly phases didn't feel right to me, though I didn't verbalize that with him. He begged me to stay, would send me sweet letters and music but I ignored it. I ignored it because I didn't want him to be too hopeful about getting back together. I didn't want to make things more difficult than it already was, and as much as I would have liked to be friends with him and stay in my friend circle, I knew it wasn't right.
Neither G nor H had previous relationship experience, so it all falls on me in terms of how it all was orchestrated. I was a well trusted person in my circle of friends, so no one including myself would have imagined that I would have done this. I'm ashamed that I have. I really hurt this person that was a kind person, and I know they've probably doubted the entire relationship after processing the grief. I don't blame them. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I've been up for hours unable to sleep, wondering how shitty I really am and whether or not I've learned my lesson.
The only thing that made since was to communicate it honestly, and this felt like the safest format for myself. Thank you for anyone that's read this whole thing, I'm hopefully going to pass out now.

So, I have recently been trying out different linux distributions to see what would work for a dual boot with windows 11, but I have been having a weird issue. I was going to remove the extra boot entries in my bios using bcdedit, to only leave my current windows install, but after rebooting into the BIOS, I still have a list of all of the different linux distros that I once had installed. I already formatted the drives that linux was installed to before removing the boot entries, but they still remain. Any way on how to fix this? My specs are listed below, thanks!
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MOBO: Asus PRIME Z590-P
CPU: i7 11700k
GPU: RTX 3070
RAM: 4x8gb G.skill Ripjaws DDR4-3200
OS: Windows 11 23H2 (currently do not have linux installed on any drive)

Hi everyone, I need advice on a tricky situation with our landlord. Here are the key details: Situation: Our landlord is ignoring our request for early contract termination, which is within our legal rights. The contract includes unlawful clauses, such as keeping the deposit as a penalty. The Rotterdam permit department confirmed the property lacks the necessary permit to house 3+ students. We are also overpaying for rent which we are planning to pursue with the huurteam after moving out to prevent any unwanted situations. Contract Details: Type: Temporary (2 years) Location: Rotterdam Tenants: 4 students sharing 3 rooms Duration: 1st August 2023 - 31st July 2025 (Signed June 2023) Deposit: 3 Months Steps Taken: Consulted a lawyer that is an acquaintance of a friend for advice, but can't fully use her services. Contacted the Huurteam Rotterdam, but they only advised on rent reduction. Sent the landlord a text, email, and registered letter about our decision and his unlawful claims. What We Plan on Doing: Formally invite the landlord for an apartment check before moving out. If he ignores us, we will take videos and photos before leaving. (He did not provide us with video, photos, or a list of items when we moved in, but we did take a video ourselves at that time.)
Our lawyer friend also advised us to threaten to withhold the last month’s rent to get a response from him. However, I am wary of this because I don't want it to be used against us. Question: The landlord has a history of withholding deposits, as confirmed by previous tenants. He is also in a court case with previous tenants for not returning the deposit. If he ignores our requests and later uses false excuses to keep our deposit, what can we do? Any advice on minimizing the chances of losing our deposit or steps to take would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Hi y’all!
I have been a silent reader on this sub and decided to post my experience just to offer an understanding of the current visa grant timeline.
Background:
-600 visa, upto 3 months stay, for my husband and myself. We’re both Indian passport holders but live and work in the UAE
-Both have a travel history to countries in the SE Asia and Europe (I have also held an Australian tourist visa in the past but not him)
-Documents attached: Bank statements, title deed of my husband’s house in India, our salary slips, evidence of leave from our workplaces, UAE ID, UAE resident visas, investment P&L statements, cover letter (I didn’t attach this but husband did), invitation from my sister who lives in Sydney
We applied on the 13th of May, completed the biometrics on the 15th (a requirement for Indians when applying from the UAE) and received our visas this afternoon.
Hope this helps 🙂
(edited to add details and format better)

Hi everyone, I need advice on a tricky situation with our landlord. Here are the key details:
Situation:

• Our landlord is ignoring our request for early contract termination, which is within our legal rights.
• The contract includes unlawful clauses, such as keeping the deposit as a penalty.
• The Rotterdam permit department confirmed the property lacks the necessary permit to house 3+ students.
• We are also overpaying for rent which we are planning to pursue with the huurteam after moving out to prevent any unwanted situations.

Contract Details:

• Type: Temporary (2 years)
• Location: Rotterdam
• Tenants: 4 students sharing 3 rooms
• Duration: 1st August 2023 - 31st July 2025 (Signed June 2023)
• Deposit: 3 Months

Steps Taken:

1. Consulted a lawyer that is an acquaintance of a friend for advice, but can't fully use her services.
2. Contacted the Huurteam Rotterdam, but they only advised on rent reduction.
3. Sent the landlord a text, email, and registered letter about our decision and his unlawful claims.

What We Plan on Doing:

• Formally invite the landlord for an apartment check before moving out. If he ignores us, we will take videos and photos before leaving. (He did not provide us with video, photos, or a list of items when we moved in, but we did take a video ourselves at that time.)
• Our lawyer friend also advised us to threaten to withhold the last month’s rent to get a response from him. However, I am wary of this because I don't want it to be used against us.

Question: The landlord has a history of withholding deposits, as confirmed by previous tenants. He is also in a court case with previous tenants for not returning the deposit. If he ignores our requests and later uses false excuses to keep our deposit, what can we do? We prefer to avoid legal action if possible due to the time and cost involved.
Any advice on minimizing the chances of losing our deposit or steps to take would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance! (I can provide the link to the redacted contract if needed)

Hey Redditors,
I’m diving into writing a research paper and thought I’d share some tips that have helped me along the way. Whether you’re a newbie or looking to refine your skills, these pointers can guide you through the process.

1. Choose a Clear, Focused Topic: Start with a broad area of interest, then narrow it down to a specific question or hypothesis. A well-defined topic helps you stay on track and makes your research more manageable.
2. Conduct Thorough Research: Use a variety of sources—books, academic journals, reputable websites. Take detailed notes and organize them by theme or argument. Don’t forget to keep track of your sources for citations!
3. Develop a Strong Thesis Statement: Your thesis is the backbone of your paper. It should be clear, concise, and reflect the main argument or finding of your research. Everything in your paper should support or relate to this statement.
4. Create an Outline: Organize your thoughts and structure your paper before you start writing. An outline helps you see the big picture and ensures a logical flow of ideas.
5. Write a Compelling Introduction: Grab your reader’s attention with a strong opening. Provide background information and clearly state your thesis. Your introduction should set the stage for the rest of the paper.
6. Craft Clear, Coherent Body Paragraphs: Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that supports your thesis. Start with a topic sentence, provide evidence or examples, and explain how it relates to your argument. Use transitions to maintain flow.
7. Use Credible Sources: Back up your arguments with evidence from credible sources. Peer-reviewed journals, books by experts, and official statistics are generally reliable. Avoid questionable websites and outdated materials.
8. Analyze, Don’t Just Describe: Go beyond summarizing your sources. Critically analyze the information, compare different viewpoints, and explain the significance of your findings. Show how your research contributes to the field.
9. Write a Strong Conclusion: Summarize your main points and restate your thesis (in a new way). Discuss the implications of your findings and suggest areas for future research. Your conclusion should leave a lasting impression.
10. Revise and Edit: Don’t submit your first draft. Take time to revise for clarity, coherence, and consistency. Check for grammar, punctuation, and formatting errors. Consider getting feedback from peers or mentors.
11. Properly Cite Your Sources: Avoid plagiarism by correctly citing all sources. Follow the required citation style (APA, MLA, Chicago, etc.) consistently. Proper citations add credibility to your paper and acknowledge the work of other researchers.
12. Stay Organized and Manage Your Time: Break down the writing process into manageable steps and set deadlines for each. Use tools like reference managers (Zotero, Mendeley) to keep your sources organized. Staying on schedule reduces stress and improves the quality of your work.

Remember, writing a research paper is a process. Don’t rush it, and give yourself time to think, write, and revise. Good luck, and happy writing!

This has been sitting with me for a loooong time, so expect a long read.
I've been married for almost 15 years and I have a son and a daughter. My wife has a difficult personality and she's always struggled to open up. In the past (way before we got married) this lead to her cheating on me and us breaking up for a while.
After that a lot of things happened and we eventually started to see each other again, we decided to give it another try and the rest is history. She's known from day one that my trust in her was broken and that it would take a lot of time and effort on her side to make it work. On my side too, to be fair. She agreed to that and for a good while it did work out.
A few years passed and we got married. And a couple of years later we had a son. I never doubted her back then, she never gave me any reason to. On top of that our son looks a lot like me and I even know for certain when he was conceived.
A few more years later things had changed. She had a new role in her job and she was away quite a lot. She also worked late several times and we barely talked to each other. We were both stressed and tired, but I felt like she wasn't making any effort to keep our relationship alive, while I kept trying to keep her engaged, talk to her, be supportive, etc. She was dismissive and cold. Then, suddenly, she was pregnant again. Don't get me wrong, we were still having sex, although not frequently, but I started to have a nagging feeling about it, especially because the timing didn't seem to make much sense.
Then the baby arrived, things got better, then worse, then better again... the main thing I noticed was that, since she was on maternity leave, she stopped stressing over work, she got away from that environment and things got better for everyone. She got back to work eventually, but not in that demanding role.
I stopped thinking about it. I stopped doubting her. I almost forgot about it.
Then I was searching for some documents on my PC and I came across some notes I wrote to her (that I kept for myself and never actually gave to her) about that period of time and all the worries and doubts that I was having back then.
Everything rushed back to me. I distinctly remember that feeling, that creeping doubt. And now, considering how my daughter looks and behaves, I'm even more worried. Not only she doesn't look much like me, she doesn't even look like her mother. And her behavior is very very different from anyone in our family. Granted: genetics are complicated. Looks and behavior don't prove anything.
I don't have the means for a DNA test and even if I did I wouldn't want to do it behind her back.
She knows I read those old notes, I've told her. We're both at work now, but I hope I'll be able to talk to her tonight... I'm not sure what to say, though.
Should I just drop the matter and try to push it out of my head? Should I pursue it and risk being wrong and damaging our relationship? But what if I'm right? I love my daughter, I wouldn't want to lose her! And I love my wife and I know we're in a good place now.. But I'm also worried that if I ignore this, it will just haunt me for a long time. And even if I did ask and she says she's 1000% sure our daughter is mine...would I believe her?
I really don't know what to do.

The level exchange is an opportunity for users to share and play each others levels. If you want other people to play your levels and take an interest in what you are doing, the best thing to do is show an interest in other peoples creations and play their levels as part of an exchange.
What is proposed is that you take this post and sort it by "new" and try to play and leave comments on reddit for 2-4 levels that other people have posted. You don't have to star it if you don't want to, but there really is no reason to be stingy if you like the level. Once you've done that, post your own level and a brief description of it. Preferably include what the theme of the level is, what style of Mario game you used, and about how difficult you think it is!
A new exchange thread is created every few days
Use the exchange as an opportunity to get to know other makers and have fun.
Automoderator is watching this thread and will remove excesssive numbers of level codes, excessive level posting without offering feedback on reddit and it will be also stopping attention grabbing gimmicks like title formatting text.
Please note that due to a limitation of automoderator, posting levels on this thread will remove your picture flair that is visible on old.reddit.com. This does not affect the flair text. You can add it back from the sidebar . This should not affect award flairs like LOTW
NB: The original wii u Super mario maker has a separate level exchange thread found here

At my place of employment we rotate working holidays. Last year I worked July 4th and Christmas Day. This year, I’m pregnant and due at the end of September. I plan on taking my full 12 weeks of leave. I noticed my boss still put me on the holiday schedule for Thanksgiving, and she just shrugged her shoulders when I told her I’d still be out on leave. She then told me my options are to come in during my leave and work Thanksgiving, or work Christmas Day instead. I may still be on leave for Christmas Day, it just depends on what day I give birth… but I also don’t want to work my first Christmas with my newborn, and I also worked Christmas last year. My question is, what can I do about this? If I don’t come in for Thanksgiving, could I be fired? If I don’t come for Thanksgiving, is it legal for her to make me work Christmas as a punishment? I appreciate any advice.
**I'm editing to add that I'm already working several other holidays this year, so it is definitely inappropriate to ask me to come in during my leave to work another holiday. I just want to know what are the possible ramifications if I do not come in during my leave to work this holiday, or if I don't work Christmas again this year.

Background Information on 2024 L4 AM (University Hired; External) Offer Letter:
62.5k salary; start date is 07/08
5k sign on bonus = 1st year
3k sign on bonus = 2nd year
18k in Amazon Stocks: 5% on anniversary date on 1st year 15% on anniversary date on 2nd year 20% every 6 months after until vested = 4 years until stocks fully vested
No relocation bonus given in offer letter even tho 150 miles away from home address. HOWEVER, Graebel Relocation Services is saying in the F&Q PDF that it may be given 30 to 45 days away and will be lum sum of 7k.
Have 1 week exactly to decide on accepting or declining offer.
Hey Everyone,
I just got my offer letter from Amazon as an L4 Area Manager (University Hire) and idk I'm not exactly happy with my salary. I'm in FL and the state have a extremely have a High COL and rent. Even when moving away from South FL, I was surprised to read my offer letter has the lowest/minimum in terms of salary of 62.5k. I thought maybe it be like NY or CA where I get higher salary to justify the means of living. I thought I would get 65k as like a happy medium.
I read the terms of the AM offer letter and it says that the salary is not negotiable. In the letter, Amazon says the following:
"Our team believes in providing the best offer up front ! The compensation for this position was crafted and approved by our finance team prior to the start of the season.
This value was determined based on the position’s responsibilities and the cost of living surround your assigned location.
No part of your offer is negotiable."
Normally I would accept it and move on but is it worth reaching out on that or will my offer be revoked? I'm concerned in surviving with rent, groceries, bills, student loans and etc after taxes using a online salary calculator for FL to get an estimate biweekly & monthly. Can I trade a couple thousand in stocks for a boost in salary?
Should I just take the L seeing I have no other job offer and just hope I get promoted to L5 in a year so I can feel more comfortable in salary before trying to pivot to corporate once I finish my contract/obligations for sign on & relocation expense?
Am I stupid for pausing at the salary and not immediately agreeing to the terms that is sent in the middle of the night since beggars can't be choosers?
Do you still keep your stocks when pivoting to another Amazon career field such as corporate or will the amount vested be eliminated? The letter makes that confusing to know since it says if you leave before stocks gets vested, you will lose it.
Finally, can I move my start date since it's Early July. I think it's Prime Week in July so I'm assuming I be blacked out if I try to start in late July or early Aug?
Thank you all for answering my questions and concerns, I really appreciate it.

It was my cousin sister's wedding and we are Indians, so if you are Indian or know Indian friends/weddings, you know the drill - the daysss long wedding events, the heavy dresses and jewelry, and also, some serious family dramas.
My cousin and I are very close even if there is a huge age gap between us. Naturally, when her wedding came around I was very excited and I helped a lot with the planning and decoration and the food - literally everything. It was exactly as we have imagined her wedding to be like. Just perfect in every way possible. But again, it's a wedding. How is a wedding ever complete with a Drama Llama? So dear potato community, here is the tea.
The man that my cousin was marrying to, my current BIL, is an amazing man who has been with my cousin since their college days. They were friends in their college days and when they started working they joined the same company so they remained close to each other. Friendship turned into love and they decided to date and eventually get married. Both the families were informed and everyone was very happy with their decisions, except just one person. BIL's sister. She didn't have any personal problems with my cousin, her only issue was that her best friend liked my BIL, let's name this friend the 'idiot' (because she truly is an idiot and this is honestly the nicest word I can use for her).
When idiot found out that BIL loved someone else and is getting married, she went ballistic. She has been trying to get his attention for so many years and he didn't even turn towards her even for one day and he was being head over heels for my cousin. I understand her being upset, I have been a girl in love and in heartbreak too, but I wouldn't try to break someone's marriage because of my heartbreak.
Yes she tried to stop their marriage via BIL's sister. The two forged all types of absurd accusations on my cousin and tried to anonymously sneak in the accusations in means of messages from unknown numbers to my cousin's then future FIL and MIL, to emails and even letters delivered to their doorstep. My cousin was really stressed because she thought the FIL and MIL would think the accusations are true and would stop the wedding. I told her, "don't worry sisso, I am here." (add dramatic music here and imagine a cape on my back).
My cousin's father (my maternal uncle), me and my brother first went to the FIL and MIL to let them know that all of this was false and that my cousin is innocent. We asked them for some time and that we will find proof of who has been sending them those false news and will let them know of everything and then they are free to judge and make decisions from their side. We got the permission from them and decided to get to work immediately.
One thing I forgot to mention was that BIL used to live in his own house in a different state from where his parents lived after he got a job. Before this, my cousin and BIL used to live in one town and went to college together. Once they got their jobs, they both came to my city, BIL got his own house and my cousin came to live with me. His family came to live with him when he told them that he wanted to marry so they came help him with the wedding arrangements. What's unfortunate is that the sister also brought her best friend, the 'idiot', who was in love with my BIL since she was 15 and BIL was 17.
I mentioned BIL having his own separate house in a new town because it was important to mention. Both his sister and the idiot didn't know he installed security cameras in his house and that the camera was pretty well hidden so they couldn't have noticed either. We asked BIL if we can see the camera's recordings and we saw someone early in the morning at 4 am dropping a letter. Guess who it was... THE IDIOT!! We showed it to my cousin's FIL and MIL and they cross questioned the idiot about it and she was in tears and admitted to everything. She and BIL's sister apologized for everything. They were forgiven and it was a happily ever after... or so you thought...
Everything after that was pretty peaceful, all the arrangements were made and we are now at the wedding day. My cousin was really jumpy and on her toes at all times, she was panicking so bad about everything. My brother and I had to sit her down and talk her out of her panic. She however mentioned that she was scared that idiot might try to pull up some sick stunt to ruin her wedding day. I however told to her calm down cause I wouldn't let my precious angel's wedding get ruined. I have seen enough Charlotte's videos to know that we must always have a backup plan prepared in advance in situations like this. And so I did. I collected a lot of information and evidences and kept them in place in case they come in handy.
I had my suspicions that they would do something to mess up the wedding way before it even became a thought in my cousin's mind, so I did a little research about the two. Since we all belong from the same hometown, I got in contact with my friends who still lived in the town that my cousin and my BIL used to live in. I asked around about these two baboons and found out that BIL's sister had a boyfriend and has even slept with him. Premarital smex is a big no no here. As for the idiot, I found out that she was slowly getting BIL's sister into illegal substances and into becoming a call girl. Again, a big no no. And I think no parent in this world would want their child to do something that would end up in trouble for them and the child as well. I knew my cousin's FIL and MIL would be worried about their daughter and take actions immediately if I let them know of this. I would have told them this after the wedding was over anyway, but that would have been in private so no one else would know, but I guess the girls wanted something else.
Once the wedding ceremony started and the guests were all there, they were enjoying, everyone was having fun and giving their blessings to the new husband and wife to be. These two pain in the asses were going around and gossiping about my cousin to everyone. We noticed that, and we came up with a quick solution. I asked two of my male friends, who is very attractive to go and talk to the girls. However I told them to switch on their recorder and be with them no matter what. God bless my two friends, they did exactly what I told them without thinking twice. They came to me after an hour or so and told me what was going on.
The two girls were planning to ruin her wedding dress. When I tell you that shit was costly, IT WAS COSTLY. It was really heavy with all the heavy stone work that was done on the cream colored lehenga and if it was stained it would be ruined. We could not afford that in any cost. She was taking a glass of juice from the juice counters and tried sitting right behind the bride but I stepped in and told her to go sit behind her brother and that I would sit behind my cousin. She was trying so hard but me and my brother kept pushing her off and away from my cousin. Eventually she did manage to throw it but it accidentally landed on someone from the groom's side and she got scolded by her. While her grumpy face was funny to see, I still had enough because if that aunty wasn't there, it would have been my cousin. After the wedding was over and people were going to start taking the photos with the couple, I announced that me and my brother had some things to say. Initially we talked about the bride and the groom but then we shifted the attention to the groom's sister and her friend. We played the audios of the calls I had with her friends in the hometown as a surprise to the groom's sister. There were a lot of angry faces, some on the sister and some on me and my brother. I tried to explain, that had she and her friend not try to ruin my cousin sister's wedding dress, this wouldn't have been broadcasted to the entire wedding venue. I then called my two male friends and both of their faces was in gasps. Both of them pulled out their phones and I played the recordings on one of the phones, which explained how they were still spreading fake news about my cousin and also them planning to ruin my cousin's dress. We also got the video recording of them actively trying to throw the red colored drink on my cousin's dress.
Both of them got kicked out from there and weren't allowed to enter until the rest of the ceremony was over. Both of them stood outside, making attempts to convince anyone who would listen to them and let them in, but no one paid heed to them. Once everyone got home they were scolded badly and my BIL's sister kept screaming at me that I was so mean and rude to have their truths exposed to not just her family, but to every relative and friends who was there to witness the show. While my cousin was glad that I had her back and my brother is standing in support of me, my parents and some of our relatives think that it should have dealt within the family and shouldn't have been exposed to anyone outside of the immediate family members. AITA?
Note: I am so sorry if the post ended up being too long but I just wanted to give all the context that would be required to judge the entire situation and my actions as well. Also if something doesn't make sense just blame it on my sleepy head cause I wrote it in half sleep mode.

My husband and I are planning to get pregnant. In terms of my employment I am entitled to 4 months unpaid leave. Thus I have no benefits, except for UIF. I tried looking online and cannot find anything related to maternity leave/benefit insurance products offered. Your advice will be appreciated.

My husband and I are planning to get pregnant. In terms of my employment I am entitled to 4 months unpaid leave. Thus I have no benefits, except for UIF. I tried looking online and cannot find anything related to maternity leave/benefit insurance products offered, where you can claim your salary in the event that you have unpaid maternity leave. Does anyone know of such product? Your advice will be appreciated.

Hi community!
Are you tired of searching matching movement trays across all the STL sources out there? Or do you simply wish to satisfy your monkey brain and have all different movement tray sizes to look the same regarding the details, like border height, bevel settings or spacing width?
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For those who are interested in highly personalized bases (like Lance formations or conversion bases), we are offering a very low price Patreon membership, which also allows you to become involved in the development process and to file feature requests.
Happy designing!

I've been unemployed for more than 2 months. I chose to leave the job in anticipation of an upcoming reorientation rather than being fired.
My previous job required me to ensure that I always used birth control, which can lengthen my time with my enterprise to at least 2 years. I had no plan to have the first baby then, so it was not a challenging choice. Furthermore, despite a suspicion that things might not work out, I decided to give it a shot in that new field after talking with the line manager about the scope of work, which was very different from what I had done before. Eventually, the final decision was made.
After 6 months of working, I started a series of rest days after submitting my resignation letter here. The primary cause was my disappointment since most of the tasks did not correspond with the job description provided during the interview.
Anyway, even though I had to give my decision a lot of thought—resigning from a job during a recession is a risky move—I am still happy with it. I am currently putting the required skills into practice and registering for a few professional knowledge-based courses. I want to be a better version of myself when I go back into the job market.

Hi everyone! I'm trying to speed up my manual work while cleaning the data. It contains 5k-10k rows, so manually going through every cell makes no sense. At the moment I'm trying to find a faster way to correct all cells containing company names (so one column) while having a list of already "cleaned names". The problem is that the initial raw data was entered manually so there are a lot of typos. I've already used the =MATCH formula in conditional formatting to locate the cells that have the accurate text entered, but now I'm looking for a way to detect the cells that have SIMILAR text values (up to 3 letter differences), so I could count how many new companies are on the list, and enter them to the "cleaned names" list (and also that the Pivot could actually function). Does anyone have any idea how to do that with a formula and not by filtering the list manually? Is it even possible to highlight similar text cells?

I have already made short post that I finished series finale. I stiil feel sad, depressed and that feeling when tv show ended.... unbelievable how "The Shield" is stuck with me. Can't believe this journey is over.
I wanted to say so many things. Firstly, how can I miss this? I was too young when it came out, but I hear about "The Wire" everywhere even now. "The shield" feels like out of the radar all the time. WE MUST DO SOMETHING WITH IT! Please, just watch "The Shield"!
My friend told me to watch it and he stumbled upon this Tv show in one cool review that was left by some user (girl , actually) on my native language site about movies/tvshows.
When I look at some photos and pictures of "The Shield" I have thoughts that it is like CSI or some other typical cop show with nothing more. How wrong was I with such first impression.
What I really like that "The shield" has blu-ray release. So cool tv show is reinnovate for high quality format and has a lot of bonus features on blu-ray.
My friend also told me that I need to watch especially until Season 5 where it will be so high level quality writing that I gonna really appreaciate "The Shield".
As for myself, I fond of cinema. I just not go easy on any movies/tvshows. I am very nit-picking because I like to learn about cinematography, screenwriting, directing and so on. For me movies like the greatest art and I study movies as an art. That's why I feel bored about modern movies and TV shows. Screenplays are not bold, not so complex, characters feel flat and creators afraid to insult other races, woman right and so on. Many movies and TV shows of modern era feel convinient. I am tired of that. And I started to watch "The Shield" six months ago.
"The Shield" was aired in the right time! Year 2002 like "The Wire". From the pilot episode "The Shield" don't try to be convinient, it shows you what Vic and his team doing, what "The barn" doing everyday. Everything around characters feels not-convinient: drug-addicted, child trafficking, other awful staff around. Characters not just saint and clean, they do what they have to do like it or not as a viewer. That's what I wished for a long time. "The Shield" just clicked with me. I can't even imagine TVshow about cops can be on such level with great cast, great characters, really good screenwriting, directing and editing.
Before "The Shield" I can't tolerate semi-documentary cinematography and "hand-held" effect of camera in movies. In "The Shield" I fall in love with such camerawork and editing. That's really what I can't imagine I would love in cinemas. In this Tv show every take is so close, editiing beetwen close-mid plan camera panning and it feels so great in terms of "The Shield" storytellling. You are always near characters, you like breathing just around their shoulders and see every bad side of Farmington so close that you feel how disgusting this district is. Incredible work from cinematographers and editors.
Dynamic feeling of everything that happens on the screen. The greatest part of "The Shield" it is never trying to dragging some melodrama to extend seasons or try to be sentimental in the scenes. Modern TVshows really like that and i don't. Don't need to play with the viewer. In "The Shield" everything happenes so fast, so realistic that sometimes you can't even catch a breath. Not a single dull episode. In every episode something cool will definetely happens and it keeps you attached to the screen. And I don't mean that "The Shield" hasn't some melancholic or not-fast pacing moment. On the opposite, "The Shield" has everything what makes cinema alive and fascinating.
Let me explain what I really like about "The Shield" and I have never experience such different emotions just in one piece of the cinema:
In "The Shield" you can feel like a kid again and rooting for cool-masculine guys who breaks door and shout: "Police! On the ground!". After some episodes I really wanna just play in cops and criminals on my yard with friends. That's how action feels in this Tv show. I wanna buy merch with "Strike Team" on it and snake eating rat logo. Incredible.
In "The Shield" as an adult you can feel totally devastated by events that just happened on the screen. You can feel pure emotions from character actions. And what most important you don't want to judge character right away you want to put yourself in his shoes because what character did feels so realistic. Characters here not some fancy cards, you can feel them like real human beings.
In "The Shield" you can laugh as an adult. Humor in some scenes and from some characters really spot on and not stupid. It is full drama but some episodes has great humor parts. And again it feels so real and natural like human beings in real life would joke about something. Bilings sutuations and lines from later seasons are just pure gold.
In "The Shield" you want to discuss some parts of the story. It feels like after reading a good complex books with interesting characters you start to think about their actions and how you can think about your actions in the real life. What it is like to be a coward? To be hypocrite? What about loayalty and friendship? Trust me not so many movies/TVshows can be so full-thinking. It's a miracle that such depth can be in cop TV show. I stiil can't imagine how believable characters are and situations in "The Shield". Script and story of all seasons and how characters arcs redeemed is golden!
So I trying to say "The Shield" can feel like popcorn-blockbuster cop show in some parts with overacting but sometimes it's pure complex drama with silence scenes and great acting and very realistic characters. It's the best mixture of movie formula that I have seen in my life! I stiil can't imagine that I saying such words in terms of cop TV show.
"The Shield" was ahead of its time. It is a real piece of art. In modern days I want to see Tv show with overacting (when it need to be done), cool action and the same time it can provide me with great drama sequences and believable characters.
[SPOILER] section below. Please read only if you watched the series.
What I also like about "The Shield" it has great leading character. Michael Chiklis was born for this role. Maybe in first seasons you can think he overacting sometimes and can't be so dramatic but in the late seasons Michael have shown one of the best acting scenes in cinema. Pure mastery. This 42 second silence in front of Olivia was something unique and incredible. Then final eyes scene with Cloudette and finale running eyes scene in the ending of season 7 when he sits alone.
Vic is so well written in every season. He is the anchor of the show. So charismatic, strategy wise, musculine and cool and what I like the most this character feels real. When Vic came alone in gang territory and didn't fear anything you believe in that. You understand as a viewer that not anybody in "the barn" have balls for things that Mackey can do. He uses "shortcuts" in police work that only he can manage. He has really metal backbone. Even when he mentally broke at the end of the 1st season he needs just a couple of minutes to grab his shit together and go further. Character has a great amount of willpower and dedication to do anything that he wanted to.
Vic is the greatest anti hero in cinema history. Many side characters hate him but when there is a problem that no one can resolve Mackey step up. Farmington is so dirty that it needs people dirty as Vic to clean it.
I actually always rooted for Vic as a viewer because nobody in "The Shield" is black and white. Even Claudette free Kleavon from death penalty to keep her warm place. And I like that "The Shield" shows every character is corrupt somehow.
But I can't believe that Vic betrayed Ronnie. It hits hard. After that I as a viewer understood Cloudette words: "Vic is trying to be someone he wants you to see him". We viewers see Vic true nature in the final episode and it hits hard too. He always was like that and we didn't want to accept. And some part of me like him but other part can't forgive him for what he did to others. Such a great character downfall through all seasons. And this shot when he smiled to his gun and go somewhere. Where did he go? He can't sit tight he always need to be "living on the edge" this his type of character.
I wanna write about other characters. Shane for sure. But Post is too big. I leave it for later.
10/10. I am empty and depressed that "The Shield" journey ended for me. Can't believe that many people don't know about this masterpiece. I am glad I stumbled upon it. It touched my strings for cinema love that not any movie or tv show touching in years.
So many emotions and thoughts. Thanks to Shawn Ryan, Michael Chiklis, Walton Goggins and every other member of "The Shield" crew and FX. I wish I had a chance to tell it to them personally. I am grown man but I feel emotions like a kid again. Pure emotions from "The Shield" story.
To sum up my words. I like this ending montage of Season 2. It has great editing and you feel emotions. I literally cried when I rewatched it after the final. Clodette touches Dutch and thanked him. Aceveda moving forward. Coriine in thoughts. Dutch investigate a murder again. And Pile of money scene... Vic the only one who is laughing but others feel mix emotions. Gives shivers to my spine.
The Shield - Overcome Season 2 Ending (youtube.com)

“We’re a meat family,” my dad would proudly tell strangers. He’d wait for the quizzical look, then launch into detail, starting with how many freezers we had, how long we could sustain ourselves on the contents. It was just his way of starting a conversation, which made sense when you considered that raising and home-killing animals for food was, for want of a better term, his life-long hobby. His prize possession was one of those industrial-sized vacuum sealers: you could put half a pig inside and wrap it in plastic so tightly that every wrinkle and skin fold waxed unreal with shiny detail.
If we hadn’t lived in a rural area, albeit semi-urbanised, I guess it would have been pretty weird. But the mostly farming-stock locals only found his extra enthusiasm a little bit odd.
When he wasn’t being a bit embarrassing talking about it, I never really paid much heed to his hobby. I had a child’s vaguely grateful awareness that though our family went through some lean financial times, our stomachs never suffered like some of the families around us. All the beef, pork, ham and bacon in those big old chest freezers passed down from his dad really could have fed us for years.
I should preface all this by saying that I wasn’t a particularly bright kid, though neither was I dumb. I didn’t fail badly at anything in school, I just never achieved beyond a pass. I didn’t know it yet back then, still quietly dreaming about being a ballet star or a dressage champion, but mediocrity was my destiny. And I think that’s why I got on so well with my Aunt Liz.
Liz was my dad’s live-in youngest sister. She was one of those women who get described as ‘bubbly’ — not really pretty, not really smart, not a lot going on besides just being… well, all Liz. But she was salt of the earth; kind, caring, and great with kids. She was the only person who would willingly mind my two older brothers, who fought like hellcats and caused more trouble than the whole last generation of my family combined. People would privately lament to my parents that it was a shame Liz didn’t have kids of her own, but dad would just shake his head and say Liz liked it that way – that all the fun of looking after kids is being able to give them back to their parents.
I guess she was like me; nice, but mediocre. Lovely, but somehow forgettable when she wasn’t doing something for you.
But when Liz left us, I couldn’t forget her.
In hindsight, it was pretty weird timing that we had a big fortieth birthday party for Liz right before she disappeared. She was radiant that night; she’d hired a local girl to do her hair and makeup, and it was honestly the first time I’d ever seen her look pretty. She’d even worn a push-up bra under a tight red dress, which flattered her very plump curves well enough that the neighbour’s farmhand was spotted disappearing into the woolshed with her for a snog. In my dawning awareness, that gave a plain girl hope: if Aunty Liz could get a guy at forty, maybe things would turn out okay for me.
Anyway, I couldn’t forget how her pink cheeks, her eyes, her whole self, glowed that night before Liz went to bed. She said it was the best birthday ever, and that she was very much looking forward to the next stage of her life.
Would I have done anything different, if I had known? If I had realised what, exactly, that next stage was?
The week after the party, Aunt Liz said she was going on a little holiday up north, to visit some old school friends. She packed her things – she didn’t honestly have that many – and drove her little orange mini out onto the main road. And with a wave of one fleshy hand, she was gone. Nobody really thought much of it when she didn’t call, because nobody rural had cellphones back then. And Liz was, as I said, somehow kinda forgettable when she wasn’t right in front of you.
When we hadn’t had contact for six weeks, Dad tracked down the land line numbers for their old school buddies. They were surprised to hear from him — Liz had never arrived, so they had just assumed she’d cancelled her visit. No-one had thought to check. I eavesdropped on the conversation, and it sounded for all the world like *they* had forgotten about Aunt Liz, too.
From there it became a missing person case. The local cops came and talked to all of us; the farmhand who’d been seen snogging her was briefly detained, then let go, dad got grilled at length, even my hellion brothers were questioned thoroughly to see if this was one of their wild and dangerous pranks gone wrong.
But everything was a dead end. Nobody knew where Liz was, or what had happened to her.
The remains of her old mini were found halfway across the country, burned out on a beach, on a derelict stretch of ragged, rocky coastline. The police assumed murder and combed the area for remains. But even the most expert divers couldn’t conquer the incredible undertow and fast-shifting seabed of that coastline to look for evidence, so none was forthcoming.
Eventually the cops collectively shrugged and said that there was really nothing more they could do unless more information suddenly came to light. The locals knew nothing, no witnesses had come forward, and the trail was cold. As far as anyone knew, poor aunt Liz had been murdered on some desolate beach, far away from her home.
It didn’t feel fair to me. She’d once mentioned wanting her remains buried on our farm, in the graveyard plot beside grandma and grandad.
So, in my grief, I went into her room to look for something of hers to bury beside them.
Like I said, Liz didn’t have many things. Her room was pretty spartan, and her wardrobe was mostly sensible farm stuff. There was one exception: she, like me, did like to read, and she had a pretty good collection of well-thumbed books. I think it’s the escapism – even the most mediocre girl can lose herself in the plot of some trashy romance novel, imagine there’s still hope of being swept off her feet by that handsome stableboy, his inexplicable yearning for chubby plain girls.
So I set myself the task of going through the books, to find the right one to bury in the graveyard plot.
Most of them were exactly what you’d expect, but some of them were racier than I was used to. I felt various parts of my body flushing and tingling, as I read breathless prose about calloused hands touching the softest flesh of the protagonist. Okay, if I’m honest with myself, I might have got a little *too* invested in my project at that point. But that was also why I persisted going through her entire collection, until I found the ragged paperback from 1970, entitled Tawny Sands. And inside that trashy cardboard romance cover, I discovered not the tale of Tawny Sands, but some carefully hand-cut, stitched-in pages. A handwritten story in my Aunt’s rounded penmanship: Memoirs of a Long Pig.
I read her story twice in a row, utterly gripped.
Aunt Liz was no Stephen King – heck, she wasn’t even the Goosebumps guy – but her story was gripping and compelling, and I couldn’t put it down. Even if I hadn’t known her, I think that would have been true.
The gist of it was that Liz, when she was sixteen, had discovered that our family had a very long history of eating what she described as ‘Long Pork’. It’s an antipodean term, anglicised from the Pacific Islands: human meat.
Like me, young Liz still had some hopes and dreams. In one of her many failed attempts to find a special talent, she’d taken up cooking as a hobby. Naturally, with our family’s overabundance of meat, she’d scoured the freezers in the shed for ingredients: the racks of ribs and stacks of pork chops, butcher-paper wrappings all neatly labelled with the first letter of the name of the animal they came from.
She found familiar meat from Rodney, one of the pigs that had been recently slaughtered, emblazoned with an ‘R’ in her father’s strong, blocky lettering. There were cutlets labelled ‘M’ for Mary, from one of the lambs she’d hand-reared, and ‘F’ for Ferdinand, the steer they’d killed the month before. But she couldn’t explain the many, many curious parcels of meat on one side of the huge freezer, all labelled ‘J’ – at least, not until she took it all out and assembled it as well as she could on the scoured concrete floor of the killing shed. A big, frozen jigsaw puzzle without the box, her best attempt to discover what kind of beast the pieces had come from.
The animal, she quickly realised, was a Long Pig. Her own Aunt Jenny, who had died the month before – just after her fortieth birthday.
Fortunately, or perhaps not, for Liz, her father entered the shed right at that moment and realised his daughter had discovered the family secret. He sat down calmly on the lid of the freezer, and explained to her that this was a long-running family tradition, dating back to at least before his grandfather had been born.
“There are always people in life, Liz,” he’d said, “who won’t really amount to much. They want to be useful, want to be more. They strive and they strive, trying job after job, hobby after hobby, trying to hit on something they’re really good at. Something that makes them special. Those people can waste their whole lives, chasing dreams that never come true. Eventually they die unfulfilled, knowing that all their time has been wasted. That what they leave behind will fade quickly.”
His voice was oddly gentle as he leaned down and patted one of the neatly wrapped cuts of Aunt Jenny, still sitting frozen on the shed floor.
“Your Aunt Jenny was one of those people. So was my Aunt Irene.” He paused to gaze at his daughter, his next words peppered with emphasis. “But you see, my sweet Liz, they did find a purpose in life. They did find a way to be special, and they left this world utterly certain of their gift.” He stood up, stretched his back. “Let me show you.”
Liz waited while my grandad meticulously stacked the meat back into the freezer, all but one J-marked parcel that looked for all the world like a thick venison steak. He took her back to the farmhouse, and reverently unwrapped the deep red, heavily marbled meat to let it thaw. Then he laid it in the family’s ancient, cast-iron pan, basting it with butter and rosemary until a heavenly scent filled the kitchen, and Aunt Liz couldn’t stop her mouth from watering.
“Just try it. Let her show you. You’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.”
Even though she knew it was her aunt, Liz couldn’t stop herself from taking that first bite. There was something transcendent about the smell, overriding her natural revulsion that this was human meat, not one of their farm animals. For the first time, she truly realised it: we’re just another kind of animal. And weren’t her memories of Mary the lamb almost as fond as her memories of Aunt Jenny?
Liz explained then, in her curly handwriting, the explosion of taste that had assaulted her when she tried the steak. It was tender, it was succulent, it was rich beyond imagining. The fats melted on her tongue, lingering somewhere between pork and beef, but oddly neither. The flavour of the meat defied identification; something familiar, yet not.
But one thing she couldn’t deny; it was the most delicious thing she had ever eaten. Tears dripped onto her plate, mingled with the juice, the grease — not grief, but a pure, real, giddy delight.
“You’re tasting your aunt’s love for this family,” my grandad explained. “Her entire life was carefully curated, to eventually make unforgettable moments for us, just like this. This was her way of being special. This was the greatest gift she could possibly bring to our world – and because she realised that, she died with not a single regret. She knew her life had purpose. She was perfectly, completely fulfilled.”
I felt those words. I felt them lodge in my own belly, settling uncomfortably deep. I knew Aunt Liz, probably better than anyone else in the family. I’d seen how fucking happy she’d been on her fortieth, how goddamn fulfilled she was, despite apparently being a *nobody* and achieving *nothing*. Somehow, in the space of a single day, she had gone from being a forgettable background character to becoming the *main character*, immortalising herself in our family’s history with her sacrifice. Quite literally becoming part of all of us, forever.
I went to the killing shed after I finished with the book. I looked inside the freezers.
But there were no vacuum-sealed packages labelled ‘L’, no matter how deep I dug into the frozen stacks of plastic-wrapped flesh. Panicked now, not sure if I wanted to connect all the dots or unconnect them, I tried to think back over the last few months, recall any meals that had been unusually good. A few Sundays ago, we’d had a stew that really hit the spot and left me craving more. And I realised that the family had a really good night that night; my brothers behaved themselves, my parents didn’t fight, and grandma and grandad had been there. Hadn’t they looked far more… expectant than they should have?
I strained my brain, trying to recall if I’d seen the homekill bag on the kitchen bench – if I’d registered what letter it was. I knew it wasn’t an L. I would have remembered if it was an L.
And then it hit me, the memory, the connection, sizzling as if branded with a hot iron.
It had been an ‘E’.
E for Elizabeth. Not for Edward the pig.
I snorted at my own stupidity – of *course* Liz was short for Elizabeth – and as I comprehended my lack of smarts, I felt something give inside me.
I wasn’t clever, and nothing, nothing would ever make me smart. I had no big talents. I wasn’t beautiful, or even cute – and even if I had a million plastic surgeries, it still wouldn’t fulfill me. It wouldn’t be real.
I was a Liz.
I was a Jenny.
I was whoever the first aunt had been, the aunt who had dedicated her life to making her flesh as delicious as possible, who had worked every damn minute to be the best Long Pig she could ever be.
I wondered how many magical family evenings had been spent eating Aunt Jenny. How many glorious, satisfying, memorable dishes had been made out of her.
And… I wanted that. I wanted to finally know I had a *purpose* in life. One so simple, and so easy to achieve.
I wanted what Aunt Liz had.
***
It's my fortieth birthday today and I’m so fucking excited. For the last twenty-four years, I’ve dedicated myself to this moment; I’ve eaten exactly what I needed to, I’ve exercised just enough, but not too much, to maintain that perfect balance of marbling vs tenderness. I’ve relaxed and meditated to keep all those amazing flavours inside of me. I’ve researched all the greatest meats in the world, from prime Angus beef to A5 Wagyu. I really think I may have outdone myself.
I’m having my hair and makeup done at the local salon this afternoon, and I’m going to look so pretty; all prize piggy on show at the fair. I’m even going to have a big red ribbon in my hair, in memory of Aunt Liz.
Maybe there’ll be a cute boy I can snog in the wool shed, maybe there won’t – I don’t really care; because the most important, most certain thing is that I’m going to be the most delicious Long Pig in the history of our entire family.
I’m going to make everyone so damn happy, and I’m just so glad I can share my story with you all, instead of hiding it in a grubby book like poor Aunt Liz.
My only real disappointment? That you won’t get to taste me.
Reader, I have loved, loved my life. My Long Pork will be out of this world: once tasted, never, ever forgotten.

General
I am looking for a lady between 28 and 35 years old, for a committed monogamous childfree relationship. My goal is to become a true team, supporting each other, caring for each other, nurturing each other and helping each other grow and realise our goals and dreams as much as possible. I'm hoping to find someone that values a relationship as much as I do and takes it seriously. It's not the only thing my life revolves around, but it's also not just something 'nice to have' for me.
I tried to be as concise as possible while still providing what details I think are crucial to know; I realise this post turned out very long, but I prefer those because I can get as good an idea as possible with detailed descriptions, bar actually talking to the person, and find that very valuable, so if that also applies to you, that would be awesome.
Basics
I am 186cm tall, slim/fit built, dark brown hair, brown eyes. Both my arms are tattooed (full sleeve), as are my calves and the areas above my ankles. Regarding pictures see below. I am a runner (ranging from 5k to full marathon), training multiple times a week. I'm also vegan. My love languages are physical touch and words of affirmation. While I am mostly securely attached, withdrawing from me triggers anxiety and I have made a horrible experience with a fearful avoidant partner in the past, so that is something I fear I cannot deal with again.
I am also an atheist.
I am a very warm, soft and sensitive person, I think I am humorous, I am self reflecting a lot and I can also be really passionate and romantic. Those are traits that also are really important to me in a woman.
I can be quite social, I am a good talker, but also love to listen to really get to know someone on a deeper level. I can enjoy an evening out with friends just as much as the silence of sitting at the shores of the river and watching the sunset in solitude (although I've been craving to watch it together with a partner for a really long time now). I can be out in a pub, at a rave, a metal show or in the stadium watching football and have the time of my life, but I cannot do these things every day; I need recharge time (on the sofa, in the woods for a run, a lazy Sunday staying in bed etc.). This should give you an idea; basically, I am a homebody that thoroughly enjoys going out in moderation.
I won't say too much about hobbies; suffice it to say I am into the dark, the obscure, the macabre, the occult, the mysterious, the erotic. It won't surprise you that I had a gothic phase in my youth, bonus points if you did too!
What I am looking for
Although similar hobbies and interests are a plus (and there have to be at least a couple things we have in common), emotional and sexual compatibility are more important to me. I am a very sensitive and emotional person (I do cry easily and by this point I don't think I'll ever be able to change that, sorry), so if you're too, we will definitely understand each other. I need someone who I can open up to (which I do rather quickly, anyway), be myself, bare my soul to and I need these things from you, too. I've had my share of emotionally unavailable women who were afraid of intimacy so I know I can't deal with that again because of the way how those things affect me. I am always emotionally invested with the woman I pursue and in those cases that was to my detriment. But my ability to feel so deep is also something I wouldn't want to change because as of yet, although it's getting harder, I haven't given up on finding someone.
With those emotional needs come two requirements that I found to be vital over the years: First, being able to be silly and cutesy together and to accept each other's inner child and care for it. I am not talking about having to deal with another person's immaturity or inability to perform basic adult skills, rather with the way sadness, hurt, anxiety and being overwhelmed manifests for me (and maybe for you, too?). I need someone who is able to comfort me, to hold me, to allow me to be weak and needy for a while until I've calmed down, and I'm more than ready to offer the same. Your inner child can come out for a while, no problem (: Also in a positive way: Thankfully, today everyone seems to be understanding of the cuteness overload cats (or any animal baby, really) can cause; I need that with a partner. I also still have plushies as comfort animals (some of which in quite a litteral sense as they make for really amazing pillows) and ideally, you do too.
There is a saying that in every relationship, one person is the stronger one. In the past, I have been with women who obviously were stronger than me, but that doesn't mean they always had to be strong, far from it. I certainly, like I said, need to be able to feel protected, but it's not like I'm a particularly needy partner, like everyone, I have my ups and downs, but I can pull my weight and have been told by past partners that I am very caring and that they felt safe and understood with me, and providing that for my partner is really important for me as well – this just to put the picture I'm (somewhat haphazardly) trying to paint into perspective.
Second, sexual compatibility. I have a high libido and I have kinks, so you should, too, in order that we can explore and enjoy them together. I found out how fulfilling living out those fantasies can be after years of never being able to try and in a relationship, sexual fulfillment for both partners is a must for me. Someone on here has coined the term 'filthy best friends and partners' which I have no shame to be stealing because it's such an apt description.
I'm looking for a balance between healthy independence and being emotionally present. A relationship where we 'get' each other; we're both each other's number one and treat each other like royalty. Where a disagreement leads to more intimacy between us as we understand better, not to resentment. Where we're comfortable baring our souls to each other, becoming a safe haven and secure base for each other. I don't like the modern notion that you 'should never feel too safe in a relationship' because that sounds like running from the mafia (and believe me, I love mafia movies); you should always put in effort, yes, but safety is one of the things I always want to experience and provide in a relationship. We shouldn't fear that a disagreement leads straight to breakup. I know ‘self-sufficiency’ is trending right now, but I feel like as partners, we’re partly responsible for each other and not our own but also each other’s happiness. Being dependant and dependable at the same time is important; making each other’s wellbeing a priority. I love the relationship model outlined in Stan Tatkin’s ‘Wired for Love’ and you should, too. If you’re not able to healthily depend on someone and their support while you’re having a hard time, look elsewhere. I know codependency is the latest thing everyone’s afraid of, but experiencing someone you’ve grown very attached to just bailing because they’re counterdependent and can’t stand working on themselves while simultaneously letting you in is something I’d rather not go through again. If I have to be afraid you’ll run at the first major problem that surfaces, even if it’s a ‘you’-problem, it’s not going to work. I think that all things can and need to be talked about. If you think ignoring someone for days is a form of communication, please look elsewhere. If you think’s it’s okay to lovebomb someone and then leave after a couple of months with the minimum amount of information and no proper conversation because you’re not ready to own up to what’s happening to you emotionally, please look elsewhere.
I am looking for someone real. We all have our problems, I don't want or need a 'perfect' person. You don't have everything figured out or 'all your shit' together. Be imperfect. Admit when you feel sad and angry, lonely, hopeless or even helpless – it's all relatable. Don't hide it. Be quirky, be dorky, be witchy, be opinionated, be yourself. Don't pretend.
I'm looking for someone to share romance with. Not great gestures, but small, meaningful ones. Poems for each other, expressing our feelings; cards with heartfelt messages that we put our perfume/cologne on, and a symbol that means something to us only, the print of your lips with lipstick, the way I sign and seal my letters for you.
Just as important to me is agreeing on living a healthy life, staying in shape both for ourselves and for each other, regularly working out and eating healthy. I am drug and disease-free and expect the same of you. I do drink as I love a good beer or glass of wine, rum or whiskey, but I've never really been drinking much and especially during the past year have further reduced it. One vice I have is that I enjoy a couple of cigars a year, but I can definitely accommodate you in this regard.
Another important point is aligned life goals: many childfree people seem to be adventurous, but that is a trait I don't associate with myself at all. I value safety more than adventure. I want to build a home together with my partner, a safespace for the both of us, where we always feel loved and protected, a place that we create together, make it cozy together so we just love to get back home there wherever we might have been, a home we decorate together for Halloween (my favourite holiday) or Christmas or Springtime, as we live in tune with the seasons, seeing them change around us, enjoying nature on a walk or the rain outside, reading in our cozy home. I value stability and harmony.
Appearance-wise, I am into ladies on the smaller side (albeit not regarding height), so I'm looking for someone petite/slim/skinny/healthy-fit. Likewise, I am not really muscular and don't have visible abs; like I said, I'm a runner, so if you're more into the gym-type, I'm not a good fit.
The natural progression for me would be to move from text to voice calls, videochat and then meeting up, all of that rather sooner than later. Not that there’s a need to rush anything, but having my heart broken because I already developed feelings due to a longer timeframe and then everything unexpectedly turning to shit is not something I want to have to live through again. I’d rather see earlier if we’re compatible or not; as someone who catches feelings fast I need to protect myself, I unfortunately had to learn that
Caveats/Possible red flags

• I don't like travelling as it stresses me out; I don't mind being somewhere else for a week or two, but the organisation part of it drains my energy very quickly and dealing with stuff that doesn't work out is overwhelming to me. Smaller trips are ok, but I'm not the right person to travel the world with.
• I am not the most awake person in the morning (i.e. I identify as nightowl)
• I need space for my own projects/time to recharge after social interaction.
• While I feel like I am in tune with my inner child and working on/with it through therapy, I realise this is something that could be a turn-off for people.
• I have been diagnosed with depressive episodes in the past and am taking anti-depressants right now. I realise that I am a work in progress, maybe more so than in times past, but I manage and the fact that I'm putting myself out here is based on me being ready to get to know someone new.
• I want to create a home together here, as I'm firmly rooted where I was born; I realise this is a lot to ask, but I have seen many people here being open to moving, so I want to at least try reaching out to them.

If you're interested, feel free to message me and include some pictures of yourself and I will reply with my own. Have a nice day (:

Part 1: https://www.reddit.com/OffMyChestPH/s/JPmEf0aCn6
So since people were asking for an update. Here we go.
We did not end up having a following date. She got tired from paragliding the next day(yesterday) I even went and nag relax sa beach malapit sa resort n'ya para if ever na mag reply s'ya na gusto n'yang lumabas eh malapit na'ko hahah. So when I asked her to hangout today she declined dahil she's done going outside. And she's leaving tomorrow morning na ren. She's introverted autistic so understandable. I respect it. But I tried asking for one more night kahit na sa hotel lang at mag usap just like the first night. I was gonna get flowers otw pa naman and give her my bracelet that I'm wearing during the time na I was with her and one of our photo booth picture na may hand written letter ko sa likod. But oh well 🤷‍♂️. Am I upset? A lil bit but I came in terms with it. She was probably overwhelmed den dahil sa bagong experience at talagang I did my best talaga.
Now, were just chatting online na lang pero not like fast replying talking stage type shit.
Honestly, I wasn't expecting anything naman talaga after she leaves dahil considering every circumstances I know na di kame mag wowork as an ldr. Pero I love to think na what made it special between us was the underlying bittersweet part nga na we know there's an ending and have an idea about it. Just like a movie, may umpisa at may katapusan. Yes, it was like a movie(pinanood ko yung Before Sunset na sinabe nung unang comment sa first part ng post ko) so yeah for the most part it was really like that.
So now, from what I'm seeing between us we would just keep in touch through discord pero that's about it. I didn't ask her to get connected sa socmed na ren. Because it would make me keep my memory of her from those nights. This beautiful, interesting, mysterious, and weirdly fun woman I met.
I even told her to my friends. I told them the story and what happened. I told them what I'm telling you guys rn.
I honestly just wish she had an amazing time with me. Like something she'll remember for good amount of time. I really hope the best for her. I hope I've set the standard for her and she won't settle for less than me if she ever starts dating.
As for me? She changed me. Remember how I said I'm not the ideal guy sa first post ko? Yeah. I would frequently hookup. Had fwb/fubus. Would to multiple girls at the same time. I was like that.
But after meeting her and finally experiencing something like that and romanticizing everything about us, I liked it.
I long for something like that again but not right now. In the future sure.
So I deleted all my dating apps. Kinausap ko mga current girls na kinakausap ko and told them what happened which is unusual for me dahil almost everytime when I'm done talking with a girl I would just ghost them because it's easier for me. Stuffs like that, talagang binago n'ya ako. One of my friends is even proud of me. Kaya I even gave them the condoms that I'm supposed to use pa. Some of them aren't fond den sa lifestyle ko e hahah
But yeah, I'm done chasing girls and being sexually motivated. I would rather instead romanticize my own life. Make my own adventure and connect with people I meet along the way.
I even had my friend help me to make a bucket list for me. After namen mag usap kanina I submitted my leave request. I'm planning on going to a vacation on a different place na ren. Who knows? I might find someone who I'll go out with on wherever I go. I'm not gonna actively chase it but that does sounds fun naman haha parang sa perspective n'ya.
It might be not the kind of ending that you guys were hoping(me too) but it's an ending. So yeah, I hope she'll have a good life. I told myself na babatiin ko s'ya ng happy birthday ever.
And thank you everyone sa mga comments. I didn't expect to have people actually get invested on it and ask for updates.