Stitch cursive alphabet

Third Chapter! I'm having a blast writing this. If you enjoy it, then make sure to like it and give me any feedback you have. I'm grateful for all of it!
Prev First
I was cold, my feet hurt, and I felt even sicker than before. The boreal path stretched on for what seemed like an eternity, the pale sunlight having no effect on me due to the sense, misty fog. Every breath felt like ice, and I could see my breath in front of me, condensed and almost viscous.
I had been waking for at least an hour by now, following the path to wherever it led. This place couldn't be empty, right? There was a tomb built here, so that meant there had to be some kind of civilization nearby, or at least the remnants of it. Even if it was abandoned, I'd kill to have a roof over my head to sleep under.
I wanted to lay down and sleep, but I knew that if I didn't get warm soon I'd die of hypothermia, so I had to keep trudging on. Besides, I was in the deep wilderness, in this place that I knew nothing about, and I wasn't going to risk getting eaten by some wild animal, or worse.
So I trudged on. The sun rose further in the sky after what seemed like an eternity, and the fog cleared up a bit. Birds sang, trees rattled and shook from the wind, and the air became bearable. I still felt awful, but at least it wasn't frigid out anymore and I would feel better eventually. I wanted to sit down so badly, to find a way to start a fire and get some heat into my bones, but I kept going. I needed to keep going. I needed to know what the hell was going on, and I'd rather find some place to sleep that had a roof and even a bed if I was lucky.
I kept thinking while I walked, in an attempt to entertain myself over what seemed like an endless journey. Who was I? I didn't know who I was, or where I was from, or if I even had a name! All I knew is that I was in the body of this weird lizard… dragon… horned thing, and it felt all wrong. The forked tongue in my mouth felt too weird, I was taller than I thought I should have been, and I was definitely stronger than what a human should have been, if I was even a human before. I think that since I defaulted to assuming that my new strength was more than what a human would have instead of any other race, I must have been human before, right? What other races were there, anyway? What if there were only humans here and I was just a freak of nature?
What if I was the only person in this world? What if everything was gone? That couldn't be the case, right? That tomb implied there were people who had been alive at one point to build it. But they could all be dead now…
Okay, that was enough of me being alone with my thoughts. I decided that, if I was going to keep myself sane, I'd have to do something productive to distract myself from the implications of everything going on around me. It was time to consult the useless journal.
I pulled it out and opened it to the page where we had our last conversation, still irritated by how vague it could be. But I pushed that to the side as I pulled out the quill and began to concentrate as I wrote down a question. Where do I go?
Nothing happened for a moment, but eventually my hand moved on its own, scribbling down an answer in the same elegant cursive as before. Follow the path.
That isn't helpful. I wrote back, frustrated. There was another pause, then more furious scribbling.
You asked a question. I answered it. Be more specific next time.
You’re an asshole. I wrote down, snarling. This time, there was no response, nor was there any movement in my hand. The journal remained uncommunicative.
Why didn't you respond? I asked next, surprised that the journal had been silent. More scribbling followed.
I answer questions. Insults are not questions.
I became even angrier at that, knowing my words didn't really affect the journal. Why can't you be more helpful? I wrote down, just to see what the journal would say.
I am only truly helpful to those who are capable of helping themselves.
It took a moment for my emotions to register, but when they did they appeared as a burst of unbridled rage. With a draconic roar, I threw the journal at the closest tree, causing it to elicit a loud thwap as leather hit bark before it fell to the ground. I turned and stomped away, grumbling, just hoping to leave the journal there. Then I looked down and noticed it was in my hand again.
“Wha-” I began, before realizing that the journal was in perfect condition, not even a single scuff. I grit my teeth and slipped it back into my bag with a sigh before returning to my walk,hoping that I'd find something eventually.
After some time, I finally heard it: running water. That must have been a good thing, because villages were usually nestled along some kind of water source. Even if it was a small village, it must have been a safe place because people were living there, and there were enough people to keep the wilderness at bay.
I rushed up the hill and down the path towards the sound, avoiding tripping over roots and rocks before reaching my destination. The creek was a few yards wide and at least a yard deep, so nothing huge, but it was fresh water. I had nothing to store water in, but I had a skin of beer so I wasn't worried about that. What I was interested in was the dirt path beyond this point seemed less faded and more worn, as if it was used more often. Most exciting, however, was a signpost with a few pointed signs hanging from it. There were two, in fact, one pointing to the left of me and the other one forward still, crossing a beaten and rickety wooden bridge that spanned the creek. The sign that pointed left read Forsvolkvr, which was just utterly incomprehensible to me. The other sign has a simple carved framing around the edge, so it might've been a more important place, and it read Ljosavatnsskaro… who in the hell named a place Ljosavatnsskaro? I couldn't even pronounce that right.
Needless to say, I went with Forsvolkvr.
The path led further downhill, into a sparser woodland that seemed more welcoming, and in the distance I saw it: a tiny village of maybe a dozen long huts, with either clapboard or mudbrick walls and thatched roofs. They didn't have chimneys, but they did have little openings at the top that allowed smoke from hearths to escape. Some houses were a bit bigger than others, but all of them were no bigger than a single story tall. As I approached, I noticed that there were people, honest to God people. Humans walked about, wearing pretty ragged clothes but still people nonetheless! I didn't think I had ever been so excited to see another person before, but then I remembered that I didn't actually remember a time before, so that didn't really mean much.
Most of the people I saw from a distance seemed to wear old, stained, and patched clothes: leather trousers stitched together along with long wool shirts and not much else. Some wore hats or pelt cloaks, and all of the men had thick beards, but most seemed to be exceptionally poor. Along with a few barren fields, there were little more than a few sheep and some chickens roaming the stumpy hills and knolls, so beyond the bounty creek I didn't know how this village even sustained itself.
As I approached the entrance of the village, which was a rickety little gate with a sign that simply read Forsvolkvr, people began to notice me, and I could immediately tell that it wouldn't be a positive reception. The adults pushed children into their homes, some picked up hatchets, and a few more had weapons of their own, mostly simple spears and rounded shields painted all sorts of colors with runic designs. One man came riding up on a horse, sword drawn and chainmail gleaming in the sunlight. “Halt, dragon-spawn, how dare you approach this village.” He was a younger man, maybe in his mid to late twenties, with a short beard, baby blue eyes, and golden blonde hair. He wore similar clothes to those around him, albeit a little less dirty and worn, and had a bear fur mantle on his neck, along with a silver circlet with a single ruby in the center that seemed to serve as a lowly crown. “Your kind are not welcome here!”
Great, so I was a freak of nature. I was hoping I was simply just another race in this world, but I suppose I couldn't be that lucky, now could I?
“I'm just looking for a place to rest,” I shouted back, lowering my sword to appear less intimidating. “I simply want to know if you have a place for me to stay: I'm willing to pay.”
“Are you deaf, dragon spawn?” He shouted as he forced his horse to halt, “Get out or I'll slit open your belly and expose your guts to the crows!”
Well, that wasn't good. I was exhausted and ill, but not so much that I was eager to take a dirt nap. And even if I was in peak condition, I was sure I couldn't take on this entire village nor did I want to since massacring otherwise innocent people probably wouldn't be a great start to whatever mess I had gotten myself into. And I wasn’t exactly a master swordsman to begin with. Even though I defeated those undead, it still felt awkward to swing a sword. I was definitely a bit desensitized to violence, but not some kind of warrior. Having a sword doesn't make me a warrior.
I decided to cut my losses and head for Ljosavatnsskaro instead, since maybe the people there wouldn't want to kill me for having scales. But then the crowd began to spread out, making way for a lone figure, hunched over and wrapped in a dusty brown cloak, using a gnarled branch as a walking cane as he pushed himself forward. The crowd’s ire transformed into anxious murmurs as the man passed, not even sparing them a glance. The only one he looked at was the man on a horse, who's face became pale as milk when their eyes met, and when the ringleader was thoroughly cowed, so was the rest of the mob.
“Gone, back to your workings ye shall be,” he rasped, his voice like sandpaper on glass, “begone and allow me to see where others cannot.” As he hobbled past the horseman he waved his hand, sending the mob hurrying away and back to their daily lives, as if I had never appeared.
“Gothi Øbyiorn, you cannot intervene, this thing is an intruder!” the horseman shouted.
“This thing is a person with a name,” the old man said, who's name was apparently Gothi, “And he has humbly requested your patronage. You dare violate the laws of hospitality? Shame on you for insulting the gods so.”
“By the Stormcaster, he's a dragon-spawn! He'll bring damnation down on us all from above! The Stormcaster shall smite us for harboring him!”
Gothi merely shook his gnarled walking branch irritably and gave the horseman an ugly look. “Thorfast Iogæirsson! If you had paid any attention to my lessons when you were a child you'd know that the Stormcaster’s own brother was the father of dragons! They felled the Lord of giants together! Have you no shame in taking his name in vain?”
The horseman, Thorfast, seemed to blush from embarrassment and indignation at that. “Rhörldir betrayed his brother for the skythrone!”
“And then Inir forgave him after humbling him in battle with his spear, and Rhörldir stood by his side ever since,” Gothi spoke, “Yes, some dragons may be wicked and cling to godly grudges, but this young dragon-kin,” he put emphasis on the word kin as if spawn was some kind of slur, “has humbly requested shelter, and even offered to compensate, and you, as Høbding, should be the first to honor the rules of hospitality. Do not shame your late father with your foolishness by being so brash and bigoted towards those who seek you no harm, especially when your father's very own thane himself was of the dragon-kin.”
The horseman, Thorfast, seemed enraged at first, but something about the elderly hunchback seemed to inject some sense in him, because he sighed with disgust and inserted his blade back into his scabbard. “Come, Dragon-kin,” he spoke, as if the words were being forced from him at gunpoint, “I shall find you the accommodations you seek, but he warned: disrupt my village in any way and I'll impale you on a spike in front of my home.”

Hi,
I have my eye on a couple of amazing looking journals to be my Grimoire for a collection of my work and research to be put in, a passion project as I want to make it look really good with calligraphy and drawings.
Anyhow,
I really like the idea (still an idea mind) to use a script, I know it won't be Theban, mainly as it's very well known. But I have others I am contemplating.
(I say it's an idea in mind because as much as I love the idea of the Grimoire being fully in scripts, main, one for spells, runes, and alchemy symbols [I said it was a passion project XD but I also recognise it's going to take time, esp. not to make errors, I understand that no matter how well I memorise, it could take me time to translate what I wrote, reducing the efficiency.)
So to the actual point (professional rambler), I love the ones I've found, but I actually am interested in having at least one that's cursive friendly. Like the Theban alphabet I've failed to join them up, and I get it, practically, they look more like runes/ sigils, but does anyone know of alphabets that can be learnt to be cursive with examples, or how to potentially learn to make any cipher alphabet script to be cursive with a how-to guide & tips? I'd like to continue practicing before I can finally afford my Grimoire, to help be a step ahead skills wise.
I tend to generally write far more with cursive and it feels far more fluid and natural than just putting down each symbol without any linking, and for me it just looks really pleasing, and helps me get in the zone when I'm writing my notes. It feels faster to use cursive too, than writing letters out individually.
Thank you for reading (what surely could have been written more concisely.) ✨

Inspired by a writing prompt. I figured I'd take a crack at a fantasy litRPG. If you like it, and if you like more frequent, shorter chapters, thenet me know. I mostly use this as a second account to try out ideas.
Next
I woke up with a pounding headache, as if I had been beaten over the head with a mallet. The first thing I noticed was the smell of mildew and dust assaulting my senses, and the dim light cast down by a single, rusted chandelier swinging gently side to side. There was no noise, no signs of life, but plenty of inhabitation: stained cots and bunks, dirty dishes strewn about, and an old longsword leaning on some lockers placed next to the only exit in the room. I stood up and groaned as I stretched and popped my back, a disgruntled growl escaping my thin lips. I didn't usually growl like that... Did I growl like that? I had no idea. It was all fuzzy, and I couldn't really make out who I was, where I was from, or even a name. At points I could almost imagine something, a name starting with an M, but it dissipated as fast as I had imagined it, as if it was being kept from me.
I thumped my scaly tail against the floor in agitation as I looked around some more. There was nothing that really made this place stand out from some poorly-kept cellar or prison cell. The more I noticed, however, the more I was starting to believe that I was in the latter: there were no glass dishes, merely wooden bowls and pewter utensils, and the cots seemed to have been used by many. No food, no furniture beyond that, just a bucket in the corner that I really didn't want to inspect and some lockers that could have contained anything. The door was a heavy iron rectangle with a barred semicircular window from which no light appeared to escape from, and beyond that was unknown. I was alone here, utterly alone.
I walked up to the door and attempted to open it, but there was no handle or wheel to interact with, nor was there anything else that could feasibly open it. I slammed my broad shoulder against it, only to hiss in pain as my shoulder ached. The door did not budge. I tried again, with a shout, and while the door did not budge the room seemed to shake just a little, as if I had some kind of immense strength. Something from the lockers fell down and hit the floor, shattering and causing me to jump. I spun around, claws extended (claws?) and growled at whatever made that noise, only to see what remained of a mirror that I knew hadn't been on the lockers before scattered across the ground.
I grumbled and sighed, walking over to clean it up so as to not step in it later like a fool when I suddenly saw my reflection… if it was even mine to begin with. I wasn't what I was supposed to be, although I didn't know exactly what I was supposed to be, but I knew that it wasn't this. My skin was made of thick, silver scales and my eyes were a bright deep marine blue through with pitch black slits in the center. My pointed maw was filled with razor-sharp teeth, and my head was adorned with long and curly horns. I also realized I was wearing nothing but a pair of linen undergarments, which was a bit annoying.
Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong. This wasn't the person I was supposed to be, I knew that, but I also couldn't remember who I was before and that scared me even more. All that was left of my identity was my apprehension, my reflection, and the constraints of this room.
I gulped and turned back to the door, eyes darting to and fro. Then, as I placed my hand on the wall next to the door absentmindedly to balance myself as I could feel my head spin. Then I felt it; a piece of paper stuck to the wall with a simple dagger. Now I really knew that the paper or the knife hadn't been there before, and all these little details were starting to freak me out. I yanked the knife out of the wall and held the paper in my head. Before I could even read the note, the small hole in the wall quickly closed up as if the whole room was alive, which it absolutely could have been for all I knew. I turned back to the note and read it, eager to see what it said.
Don't open the door.
That's all it said: No name, no location, and no explanation or details. Just this vague warning. I sighed and set it down before staring at the door again, perplexed. Nothing about it changed.
Then I looked at the note again, hoping to see some kind of change, maybe some kind of guidance. To my surprise, it did.
Open the locker.
Now I knew that I wasn't imagining things: this place was changing, and maybe it was responding to my psyche. It wasn't the craziest idea. Where am I? I thought, hoping to try and direct my thoughts towards the note. I looked back down and noticed a minor change.
The Labyrinth. Open the locker.
The Labyrinth? What the hell did that mean? What labyrinth? That didn't answer any questions I had. Where is the labyrinth?
It is here. Open the locker.
Okay, so the note was a smartass, that was good to know. I let out a resigned sigh and stepped over to the grimy lockers next to the door, the pair of them stuck together with rust and other grime. This whole room made me feel dirtier than it had any right to, especially with the cool, damp stone floor somehow feeling sticky against my raptorial feet. With enough force and a frustrated grunt, I yanked the first locker open, revealing something I hadn't expected: clothing. Carefully and intentionally folded clothing. I quickly began pulling it all out, and organizing the haul. There was a wool undershirt, a patched gambeson, stitched leather trousers, socks and hose, and worn rawhide boots. That's what excited me the most: the cold and the dampness of the room was starting to seep into my bones and I wanted something to cover up with immediately. I set down the note on top of the locker and quickly dressed, then searched the other locker.
In the other was more useful supplies, but of a different nature: a large traveling pack, a faded breastplate, a plain bronze necklace, a hide-covered heater shield, a short bow along with a leather quiver of barbed arrows, and a flanged mace. There was also the longsword next to the lockers, which I would be keeping: it'd rust away here if I didn't take it. Inside the sack was some carefully packed rations, mainly of salt pork, hardtack, a quart of cheap ale, a tin of lard, a big slice of hard cheese, and some dried apple. It wasn't anything to write home about, but it was good and that was much better than the alternative. There was also a bedroll attached to the bottom, and a little mess kit hanging from the side, stored in a leather tub.
I dressed fully and strapped on the armor before consulting the note again. Why am I here?
To be tested.
I didn't like that. I didn't like that at all. I didn't feel like being tested. Why am I being tested?
It has been written.
That didn't explain anything. I simply balled my free fist, my new claws digging into my scaly palm. What now.
Open the door.
“But I… can't,” I spoke as I turned around to the sealed door, only to find that it had changed, revealing a metal pressure wheel I needed to spin to unlock it. The barred window was still pitch black, but it was a start. I quickly jogged over and gripped the wheel, easily opening it and revealing a hall that was pitch black. After a few seconds, wall sconces lit up in rows down the hall ominously, as if beckoning me further. I lifted up the note to consult it again, but it felt weightier in my hands, as if it too had changed. When I looked at it, it had transformed into a thick, leather bound notebook, and attached to the front was an ink quill for writing. I opened the book and looked at our entire conversation, including my thoughts, inscribed within the first few pages in elegant cursive, all the handwriting identical. I lifted the quill and gulped before writing one last question.
What will happen to me?
My handwriting was identical to the rest. In seconds, the notebook responded, my hand moving without my control or consent and scribbling down a response in my exact same handwriting.
You will be tested. Do not fail.

What if I made Love & Theft an 1 Hour Animation. Here are the characters in this animation (including the ones in the blue part)

1. Dumbo.
   1. Eek the Cat.
   2. Magilla Gorilla.
   3. Bandolero.
   4. Fanboy from Fanboy & Chum Chum.
   5. Cueio.
   6. A Rabbid.
   7. Butthead.
   8. Batman.
   9. Pinkie Pie.
   10. Winnie the Pooh.
   11. Optimus Prime.
   12. Hello Kitty.
   13. The Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared trio.
   14. Charlie Brown.
   15. Tigger.
   16. Roger Rabbit.
   17. Superman.
   18. Beavis.
   19. Mordecai and Rigby.
   20. Clarence.
   21. Saint Seiya.
   22. Lippy the Lion and Hardy Har Har.
   23. Presto the Magician.
   24. Mabel Pines and Waddles.
   25. He-Man.
   26. Darkwing Duck.
   27. Mighty Mouse.
   28. Elroy Jetson.
   29. Patty Rabbit.
   30. David the Gnome.
   31. Do-Your-Best Bear.
   32. Vicky the Viking.
   33. Naruto.
   34. Wil E. Coyote.
   35. Chuckie Finster.
   36. Road Runner.
   37. Delfy.
   38. Lincoln Loud.
   39. Bernard Bear.
   40. Donatello.
   41. Dr. Zitbag.
   42. Dartacan.
   43. Finn and Jake.
   44. No Face.
   45. Totoro.
   46. Thomas the Tank Engine.
   47. Hank Hill.
   48. Tommy Pickles.
   49. Reptar.
   50. Blooter from Poppets Town.
   51. Mike Wazowski.
   52. Shrek.
   53. Lightning McQueen.
   54. Woody and Buzz Lightyear.
   55. Elliott the Dragon.
   56. Gumball Watterson.
   57. Darwin Watterson.
   58. Anais Watterson.
   59. The Cat in the Hat.
   60. Po Ping.
   61. The Penguins of Madagascar.
   62. Pingu.
   63. Noisy from Little Robots.
   64. Scrooge McDuck (reboot version only).
   65. Snap from ChalkZone.
   66. Blue from Rainbow Friends (Cartoon Games version only).
   67. Pike from Pike’s Lagoon.
   68. Sammy from Loose Ends.
   69. Mugman.
   70. Flower from Plancy’s World.
   71. Mametchi.
   72. Lucho.
   73. Moth from Patchwork Pals.
   74. Bellybutton.
   75. Matthew Littlemore.
   76. Peppino.
   77. Matías.
   78. Moomin.
   79. Mafalda.
   80. Asterix.
   81. Wallace & Gromit.
   82. Alfred E. Neuman.
   83. Bakabon’s Papa.
   84. Carly (Bitty Big Heads version only).
   85. Oggy.
   86. Frumplequest.
   87. Kevin from Up.
   88. Doggy D. Dachshund.
   89. Danger Mouse.
   90. Crispo and Albert.
   91. The Creepy World Island versions of Jeff the Killer, SlenderMan and Smile Dog.
   92. Fritz the Cat.
   93. Beetlejuice (animated version only).
   94. Ronald McDonald (animated version only).
   95. Gombby.
   96. Doogal and Florence (CGI versions only).
   97. Tadeo Jones.
   98. Tom from Tom and the Slice of Bread with Strawberry Jam and Hunny.
   99. Dinky Little.
   100. Mickey Mouse.
   101. Arthur Read.
   102. Woody Woodpecker.
   103. Pomni and Caine.
   104. Jimmy Neutron.
   105. The Giraffe from Guillermo Mordillo.
   106. Popeye.
   107. Robin (TTG version only).
   108. Steven Universe.
   109. Dick Dastardly.
   110. Muttley.
   111. Fred Flintstone.
   112. Snoopy.
   113. Tintin.
   114. Ladybug.
   115. Lucky Luke.
   116. Mr. Magoo.
   117. Dash Kappei.
   118. Pikachu.
   119. Goku.
   120. Alfred J. Kwak.
   121. Doraemon.
   122. Underdog.
   123. Bob and Larry.
   124. Leafy.
   125. GIR (in his dog suit).
   126. Wally Gator.
   127. Roger Smith.
   128. Marco.
   129. Pak from The Fruitties.
   130. Maya the Bee.
   131. Lion-O.
   132. Top Cat.
   133. Yogi Bear.
   134. Spinelli.
   135. Goliath from Gargoyles.
   136. Salad Fingers.
   137. Baby Huey.
   138. Tom & Jerry.
   139. The Powerpuff Girls.
   140. Garfield.
   141. Courage the Cowardly Dog.
   142. Sylvester Pussycat.
   143. Ralph Wiggums.
   144. Stitch.
   145. Dora and Boots.
   146. Heidi and Pedro.
   147. Pumuki.
   148. Tutu.
   149. Bluey.
   150. Peppa Pig.
   151. Kim Possible.
   152. Zuma from Paw Patrol.
   153. Cleo (30’s version only).
   154. Freakazoid.
   155. A Smurf.
   156. Bender.
   157. Inspector Gadget.
   158. Obelix.
   159. The Warner Siblings.
   160. Kaeloo.
   161. Allstar and Casey.
   162. Willy Fog.
   163. Bugs Bunny.
   164. Ranma.
   165. Donald Duck.
   166. Charizard.
   167. Dudley Do-Right.
   168. Dexter.
   169. Shin-chan and Shiro.
   170. Tarepanda.
   171. Rilakkuma.
   172. Snagglepuss.
   173. Pink Panther.
   174. Goofy.
   175. Homer Simpson.
   176. Clemente.
   177. Baby Lamb and Belle Butterfly.
   178. Ren & Stimpy.
   179. Chuck (Angry Birds Toons version only).
   180. Mario.
   181. Pato from Pocoyo.
   182. Daria.
   183. Greg Heffley.
   184. Tweety Bird.
   185. Sonic the Hedgehog.
   186. Karl Ojisan.
   187. Spider-Man.
   188. Dusty Crophopper.
   189. Perry the Platypus/Agent P.
   190. PaRappa the Rapper.
   191. Captain Underpants.
   192. Anpanman.
   193. Peter Pan.
   194. Lum Invader.
   195. Sailor Moon.
   196. Star Butterfly.
   197. Scooby-Doo.
   198. Cow & Chicken.
   199. Marsupilami.
   200. SpongeBob SquarePants.
   201. Bakii.
   202. Bob the Builder and Scoop.
   203. Simba.
   204. Cuddles.
   205. A Minion.
   206. Atom Ant.
   207. Casper the Friendly Ghost.
   208. Yo Yo Flamingo.
   209. Taichi Yagami.
   210. Johnny and Plank.
   211. Stacy Stickler.
   212. Nemo.
   213. Orange and Green from Rainbow Friends (Cartoon Games versions only).
   214. DogDay.
   215. Calvin and Hobbes.
   216. Tow Mater.
   217. Captain King.
   218. Voltron.
   219. Mazinger Z.
   220. Sheep.
   221. Weegee and Impaeegee (on his baby carriage).
   222. Blue and Pink from Dick Figures.
   223. Lisa Simpson.
   224. The Three Twins.
   225. Oliver Atton.
   226. Mr. Bean (animated version only).
   227. Dr. Zoidberg.
   228. Johnny Bravo.
   229. The Spies from Spy Vs. Spy.
   230. Luxo Jr., André, Tin Toy, and Knick Knack.
   231. Eric Cartman.
   232. Kyle Broflovski.
   233. Stan Marsh.
   234. Kenny McCormick.
   235. Heathcliff.
   236. Gaturro.
   237. Speedy Gonzales.
   238. Kogepan.
   239. Incibot.
   240. Flapjack.
   241. Pinky and the Brain.
   242. Barrancas and Trancas.
   243. Nibbler.
   244. Chilly Willy.
   245. Bloo.
   246. Huckleberry Hound.
   247. Hokey Wolf.
   248. Nigel Uno/Numbuh 1.
   249. Roary the Racing Car.
   250. The zebra from Animanimals.
   251. Quick Draw McGraw.
   252. Ben Tennyson (Ben 10: Alien Force version only).
   253. Tony from Bondi Band.
   254. Pocoyo.
   255. Rocky and Bullwinkle.
   256. Rescue Rangers.
   257. Felix the Cat.
   258. Norakuro.
   259. Paolo the Cat, Mavis the Pony and The Small Green Thing.
   260. Naranjito, Imarchi, Clementina, and Citronio.
   261. Betty Boop.
   262. Peter Griffin.
   263. Rocko.
   264. Poochee and Pansy.
   265. Daffy Duck.
   266. Botillo.
   267. Elmo.
   268. A from Alphabet Lore.
   269. B from Alphabet Lore.
   270. C from Alphabet Lore.
   271. D from Alphabet Lore.
   272. E from Alphabet Lore.
   273. F from Alphabet Lore.
   274. G from Alphabet Lore.
   275. H from Alphabet Lore.
   276. I from Alphabet Lore.
   277. J from Alphabet Lore.
   278. K from Alphabet Lore.
   279. L from Alphabet Lore.
   280. M from Alphabet Lore.
   281. N from Alphabet Lore.
   282. O from Alphabet Lore.
   283. P from Alphabet Lore.
   284. Q from Alphabet Lore.
   285. R from Alphabet Lore.
   286. S from Alphabet Lore.
   287. T from Alphabet Lore.
   288. U from Alphabet Lore.
   289. V from Alphabet Lore.
   290. W from Alphabet Lore.
   291. X from Alphabet Lore.
   292. Y from Alphabet Lore.
   293. Z from Alphabet Lore.
   294. 1 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore.
   295. 2 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore.
   296. 3 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore.
   297. 4 from Mike Salcedo Number Lore. (Unreleased)
   298. Spotty Leonard
   299. Eggy from CRITORA
   300. Handy (appears again in the screaming Andreas mouse-looking character part but with handy and has the face of his “screaming face” from Don’t Yank My Chain.)
   301. Giggles
   302. Lumpy
   303. The Mole
   304. The Cat that got ran over by Mole’s Car (it appears in the “really heavy metal part” with his fangs being sharper and his bigger eye pupils replaced with bloodshot eyes.)
   305. Flumpty Bumpty
   306. BBB
   307. Grunkfuss
   308. McGruff Dog
   309. Unnamed Drug Dealer from Drawings in NCPC (appears again in the heavy metal part with evil smile)
   310. Gingerbread/Giant Teddy Bear (appears first as normal then in the really heavy metal part it uses his true form face.
   311. FroseHomeless
   312. Pouli/Tom Pelican
   313. Ratte/Ricky
   314. Spugna/Cheesehead (Appears normal at first then at the really heavy metal part it has the face of its true form and appears in the mashed up characters part as well.)
   315. Pibby
   316. BunBun
   317. Buggy
   318. Mailman Moe
   319. Croc
   320. Firey
   321. Bubble
   322. Four
   323. X from BFB
   324. The Domestos Germs
   325. MAD Characters (including the fanmade ones from fanmade parodies such as world war edd.)
   326. Zoonomaly Monsters
   327. Caught On Camera Monsters
   328. The Girl from Hello by Muffin Songs
   329. The Orange & Lemon Mascots from A Love Story by Chipotle
   330. Marylin B Worm
   331. VAL
   332. Sincomics Green Square
   333. Crown
   334. Bandaid
   335. Fish from DCTF
   336. Rage Comic Faces
   337. Heavy from Team Fortress
   338. Sans
   339. Dead Memes
   340. Frisk
   341. Undertale Bosses
   342. Red (Angry Birds)
   343. Godzilla
   344. Ghidorah
   345. Minecraft Mobs
   346. BOES
   347. Backrooms Entities
   348. B-Day
   349. GOB Mascots AND MORE!

I returned to SNM for my fourth time last night 5/17/24, and I need to rant
I got in around 7:30, went directly to 5th floor to catch the mirror dance. I followed Matron (played by Audrey Rachelle) as she slowly walked through the forest back to her hut. She suddenly turned around, looked me in the eye as if she knew me, and then took my hand and led me inside her hut. Inside there was a table full of trinkets and a tea set; there was also a rocking chair and a regular chair, ripped pages along the walls, a taxidermied pheasant, and a needlepoint that read something along the lines of “when you scream into your pillow, you know darkness” (?)
The Matron pulled off my mask and sweetly said “there you are!” Then sat me down, and poured me a cup of tea, in which I gestured for milk and no sugar. She stirred the cup, spoon fed me the tea a few times, then dabbed my lips with a napkin. She then sat down, held my hands, and proceeded to tell a story: (I don’t remember the exact words, but it went something like this)
“Once upon a time, there was a child who was all alone. Everything was dead. She was all alone so she decided to ascend to the heavens. She went to the moon, and the moon was a piece of rotten wood. She went to the sun, and the sun was a wilted sunflower. She went to the stars, and the stars were fire. And when she went back down to earth, the earth was a turned pissing pot. Everything was dead, and she was all alone.”
At this point the music and thundering sound was really loud. She had started the story as if telling a fairytale, but it twisted until it felt like a horror story. She gripped my hands and pressed her finger into my palm until it left a mark. Then Matron flew back into her rocking chair and she moved as if her body was levitating and my hand was an anchor. She pulled my hand so that I stood and shouted in my ear “THERE WILL BE BLOOD”. Then the intense mood dissipated, and she teared up sadly, caressed my face, then put my mask back on and led me out the door.
After that I wandered for a bit, and I saw a man without a mask I didn’t recognize as a character sitting on a chair in the corner. I foolishly thought he was a guest who had lost his mask and was waiting for someone to help him find a new one, so I walked past him. BUT THEN I saw him on the stairwells lead someone up to the 6th floor!!! Really kicking myself there.
I wandered around the 4th floor gallow green for a while, then went to see the witches’ rave. Stayed for sexy witch’s dance and the shots and tears scene with Hecate (Onalea Gilbertson) and Agnes (Taylor Massa). After Agnes left Hecate fed Speakeasy the tears, then went to her room and last-minute pulled me in! I was so overwhelmed I didn’t take in much of her room but I saw a table full of vials like the one she collected tears in.
She took off my mask and gave me a note. She whispered in my ear “I need you to give this to the Porter. He’s on the 2nd floor in the lobby, and he’s wearing a red jacket. Can you do this for me?” Of course I nodded, teeming with excitement. The note had her kiss mark on it and read “Porter: please do as you said. I am waiting patiently.” (or smth) So I went to go find the porter downstairs frantically.
I found him (Tim Jones) contemplating a chessboard with miniature trees on top. I thought he was in the middle of a scene so I meant to stay to the side and approach him later, but somehow he immediately tuned in on the note in my hand despite me being in a crowd. He took it and reacted with something like dread? Then went to the lost and found area and began writing a letter – it was heavily cursive and pretty much illegible, but half way through he turned the paper around and wrote legibly “I am lost.” before turning it back around and finishing the letter. He folded the letter into a boat, mimed it floating across the table top, then put it in my hands and whispered to me “I need you to give this back to her.”
I hurried back up to Hecate’s Manderley replica bar to find her eating the liver. As I know this is an important scene, I didn’t interrupt but made sure she saw me with the boat. She smiled at me and caught the light reflection from her knife into my eyes. She coughed up her ring and gave it to someone, then started her “Is That All There Is” on stage. As she finished the song she took the boat, then wiped her tears from her face and smeared it across my palms. She folded the boat into the breast of her dress, then took someone else into her room for her 1:1!! And as I stood outside and heard the rain and her cackling on the other side, I had an illogical moment where I felt a bit like a dog kicked to the street. Like, I obeyed her orders to a T in record time, and she didn’t even give me a kiss on the mask or a ring or her 1:1 :((
But obviously I realize I was super lucky to have had that experience in the first place. Somehow Hecate just has that presence that makes you want to crawl on your feet and follow her every word. Overall, best night ever.
Side note: I do think that my boy witch that night (Issa) (who had previously been my speakeasy in another visit) is the most beautiful person and entrancing boy witch I’ve ever seen.
Another side note: my mom fell on the stairs and somehow there must have been something sharp bc she cut her hand really bad on the fall! SNM management dealt with it professionally, took care of her and filled out an incident report, but she later had to get stitches done in the ER. So remember to watch your step and wear sneakers! It was a pretty nasty cut.

Have you ever witnessed the first formation of life? I mean, I've seen my children, I was there for every step of the process if you know what I mean. Hah. But what I'm talking about is from beyond the beginning. The molten slag of a planet forming over millions or even billions of years into a habitable plane. Have you seen, from that very point, chemicals coalescing and reproducing? Amino acids and the forming proteins?
Well today, I found out, when you die in the crypts, you don't see a light in the end of a tunnel. You witness something truly beautiful and pointless.
I watched the birth of life from nothing. Short molecular protein chains. No cell walls, no encasing membranes. If DNA or genetic code of any kind was in their descendant's future, it wasn't present now. I watched it cling to the surface of rock, self-replication fueled by the warm free energy of a sun, millions of generations, hard work, decay, and new growth, only to be destroyed by a crashing wave. The weak hydrogen bonds were broken, as simple as that. The ancestor's hard work gone in a single blink-and-you-miss-it moment. Somehow I knew, wherever this was, that was all the life that planet would ever see until it was swallowed up by its star.
It was a quick fleeting spark. All the dramas and soap operas in the world could have taken place in a single raindrop. A unique potential, unlike any others, this planet's chosen ones, snuffed out before it could evolve to breathe its first breath. Rather grim isn't it? I don't know why I dreamt it, but there it was, a pointless creation followed by an equally pointless destruction. I guess it was a nice commercial break from the missing-arm-induced pain i was suffering. A wonderful hilucination, if a bit mocob.
Anyway, back to my unimaginable blood-curdling, mind-wrenching torture porn session. My eyes were closed a very long time, but when they did open, I was finally where I should be. Horizontal in a hospital bed, surrounded by trained surgeons. That said, it was on an alien world, and the surgeons were not trained in human biology. What's worse, they had no way to dull the pain.
Death would have been a blessing, unfortunately, the doctors were good, in spite of the unknown make, model, and engine size laying before them. 5 hours under an experimental knife, and I think an arc welder, is what it took to reattach my arm and fix my internal organ damage. 5 hours of poking and prodding and searing and stitching and pulling and zapping. All things considered, I am impressed it only took 5 hours. Ted's species was remarkable when it came to taking in new information and applying it in the real world. All their extra brains probably didn't hurt either.
If you remember, Ted's species came equipped with five extremity brains, and a central one. That's three for all three of his legs, two for both of his arms, and one in his central body. Ted would have had six individual minds within him before I found him dead in a ditch beside that interstellar sidewalk. By that point, only one, Ted, had survived.
After my, let's say, unique experience, I was left alone in a dark room to rest. Ted came by to visit. Oh yeah, he had a body now. He wore that "Tall, dark, and extraterrestrial" look well. He was easily 7 feet tall in his real body. Those Ted-fu moves should pack a real punch in a body like that.
"That reminds me. You wanted your fighting moves back, right?" My voice was terribly parched after my morning shouting sessions.
Shouting obscenities at medical proffesionals was about all I could do when Ted's doctors were busy inventing a new form of torture. Seriously, take notes. Good stuff in there.
"Keep them. That isn't going to be my concern here. It's hard to even walk now, let alone fight." He admitted. "I'm used to having secondary brains do all the work. I would only take over when the situation required. Now, I'm all I've got."
"Just another one of us handicap one-brainers," I taunted. "How does it feel to be on my level? Could you say you're just 'too single-minded?"
He laughed. I don't think I've ever heard Ted lower himself to laughing at one of my jokes. It wasn't even a good one. I know I could have come up with something better. Hold on. I- huh... well, I guess the moment has passed.
Instead, I teased him again. "so, you have a sense of humor after all."
"Always have. You just aren't funny." He shot back.
Then it was my turn to laugh at a bad joke.
"Bad idea!" I realized aloud. "Laughing hurts. Don't make me laugh."
There was an awkward silence before Ted finally spoke again. Our whole conversation was full of them.
"You're going back there aren't you?" He asked.
"I have to. I have a family somewhere, and I have to know if they're still alive. Something bad is happening on earth and I just want to be there to protect them."
"I don't think you ever will find out."
"Blunt and to the point today are ya?"
"Always have been. You just never listen. Im serious. I dont think you'll make it home."
There it was again, that quiet that kept creeping back up into our conversation.
"What if you run into Brad again?" He asked. "I won't be there to reboot your brain next time. You will either die or-"
"Don't tell me."
"Or you will suffer greatly, then die." He continued while checking his version of fingernails.
"I told you not to tell me. Now I can choose which option I like better."
"I'm being serious." He shot back at me. "You have no defenses against him."
"I know. I'm hoping he's dead. That's three shots from a Tedidian gun he has taken now."
Neither of us were convinced.
"Tedidian? That's the name you gave my species? I'm honored."
"I'm the first of my kind here, I get the naming privileges."
If our conversation took place over the radio, the host would be mortified. Not by the subject matter, no. The silence would be dubbed "dead air" and the host would desperately clamor for a new topic to keep the dialogue active and dynamic. We didn't have that luxury. I think Ted was sorry he couldn't have done more to help, but he would never admit it. I actually might miss him after all- Nah... Too stuck up his own butt to admit his shortcomings. I dont need a guy like that tagging along.
"Do you- mourn the loss of your secondary minds? Were they separate thinking entities?"
"I mourned their loss eons ago. I have moved on. Now I have to re-remember how to walk and talk and do math equations without them. I will be slower than my academic peers, but I have with me knowledge of the unknowable. That should make up for some of my deficiencies."
Eventually, Ted was ushered out. I needed the rest. The doctors here were good. They had managed to piece together this broken puzzle written with a completely different alphabet, and accelerated my healing a great deal. Not really a surprise, given they could build Ted a whole new body. I was back on my feet in a matter of 2 days, using my arm in 3, and back to 70% at 4. I dont think I'll ever make it back to 100%, but all things considered, this is pretty good.
It's hard to tell how long I have been away from earth, but given this trip was meant to last a very long time, I don't suspect I should miss my flight, so long as I find my portal. As long as I can find Eddy. So long as I can find all of them; Eddy, Rook, James, even Jyong and Me-Yan.
Ted's people had a similar arrangement to earth's at first. When Ted was an explorer, their portal was at the edge of the system, but they brought it down to their planet with rockets and parachutes after he and a few others never came back. The history was fascinating. They were a united planet, far and above the most advanced I have come across so far, but in spite of that, the portal slowly leeched off the planet, and spat out horrors beyond their imagination. What they once used as an interstellar fast travel, quickly turned into a speed bump, then a health hazard. There was a reason the builders set this portal so far away from the planet. It wasn't meant to be here, so Ted's people had to build a wall, with poor old lost Ted on the other side. They closely monitored the other side though, and were shocked to find the brain activity of a Tedidian coming from yours truly. That would be Ted's mind, shoulder to shoulder with mine, in my head if you weren't following along. Then they rescued me from Brad.
Speaking of, I asked around about Brad. Someone shot him, so that someone should know if he survived. I had to know if he would be waiting for me on the other side. Eventually, I asked the right person, who introduced me to my rescuer. He wore a white uniform and carried a big gun, even for Tedidian standards. I was kinda jealous. I like my pew pews, but these things were on another level.
He confidently told me that Brad was indeed "dead." I had Ted translate for me whenever I spoke to a native, but they were quickly learning on their own how to speak Sean-ese. That's the language I told them I speak. Might as well leave a lasting mark. That confidence, however, did not come from a place I liked.
"But did you actually see it dead?" I pressed.
"Nothing survives a plasma arc, even a graze, let alone two." He scoffed. Or I think he scoffed. There is no universal interplanetary sign that someone is scoffing at you. You just have to pick up on subtle undertones of pride, shock, or snood. Ted had lots of snood. Luckily, he broke the mold. The people here were as different as people are on earth. I just happened to get the most insufferable one imaginable. Just my luck.
"Then call this thing 'nobody,' because it survived one before." I suggested.
His eyes widened, glad to see that was an interplanetary sign of surprise. "Th-that isn't possible."
"Oh, but it is." Ted interjected
Oh good, that thing could be waiting for me for all I know. I never thought I'd be scared to be without a Ted in my head, but there I was, terrified. He was right. Without him, I had no defense.
We were walking back to Ted's place when I began replaying the past events in my head. My vision was something I couldn't shake. It was real. I felt like I was one of those chains of self-replicating chemicals. That's almost all they were, chemicals, but they had every marker required to classify life. They even responded to change in the environment. They were short-lived bonded protein chains that consumed, produced waste, even grew by self-replication and bonding.
"Hey Ted," I started. "I wanted to run something by you."
"I'm listening, but let's keep it under 280 characters. I'm not in the mood for a marathon today."
I rolled my eyes. "Glad to see you're back to your old self."
"My old self? I've been trying to get back to that, but every time I open my eyes, there you are."
"Look here Dane Cook, I saw something after the attack. It was on another planet. I think someone is trying to show me something."
"You were also close to Brad at the time, who we know can alter your perception."
"Maybe, but this felt different. The first time he affected my mind, he put me in a dreamlike state. Then he used something familiar to me to disguise himself. This was different. I wasn't me, I was this green amino-acid chain with no protective coating. All I could sense were chemicals, no light, no sound, but I knew what was happening too, like I was watching from the outside at the same time."
Ted learned how to roll his eyes just now from me, and mimicked the action to an exagerated end. "Don't think much about it. Many Tedidians see a light at the end of a tunnel when we are close to death. Perhaps this is just your version."
"Perhaps." One thing is certain, even if it scares me, I would be glad to be without Ted. I almost forgot how annoying he was after our little bonding session.
"But I have a question for you. Who is Dane Cook?"
"My planet's worst comedian. Thats not the point."
The day did come that I had to leave, and Ted, in his usual fashion, refused to say goodbye. Instead, all he would say is "I won't be far behind." Cryptic, right? Like, what is that supposed to mean?
At first, I thought "Great. And right after I thought I got rid of him." But then I thought about it. It would be an interesting cultural slang to say "we will meet again." Does Ted believe in an afterlife?does he think I'll wimp out and come back?
Pointless questions aside, there was some good news. He gave me a new gun. This one made an even bigger "kaboom!" It was really fun. Heh. Haha. Gimme-gimme.
I was happy to see Jim-Bob waiting for me at the portal. I hadn't seen him since I set off that sonic weapon. Their feet are so sensitive to vibrations and sound, that weapon really messed with them. The Tedidian doctors had their work cut out for them fixing 5 listening organs per Jim-Bobidian. Together, all 20 odd Jim-Bobs and I, stepped through the portal to the nightmare world.
Now that I was on this side of the portal, I could see that Brad was gone. Oh boy, what fun. You know what else? I held onto that old piece of alien tech that Ted had his brain shoved into. I thought it would make a neat souvenir. Wouldn't you believe it if as soon as the doors closed behind me, I heard that S.O.B's voice saying "So, where to next?"
Ted copied himself yet again into that stupid thing. Didn't take long to figure out what he meant by "I won't be far behind."
"What the hell, Ted?" I shouted.
"Surprised to hear my voice?" He asked?
"More pissed than surprised. I thought I finally got rid of you."
"Oh stop it, you are happy to see me, admit it."
"I thought you wanted to go home. What happened to me just being a pair of legs?"
"Ah yes, but there's a crucial difference between that Ted and this one. This one is artificial, and doesn't get lonely. I am merely a copy of a personality. That way, when you die, I won't get homesick."
"I smell bullshit," I said.
Surprisingly, he didn't make an astronauts and diapers joke. Instead, he said "Got me. I am an explorer, remember? Even if I was homesick, I still yearn for the other-worldly. My adventuring days are not yet over, and this way, I can never die, unlike someone I know."
"News flash, Ted, you did die, and give me that self-aggrandizing crap you pulled in the beginning, and I'm throwing your immortal ass down the throat of the next giant monster I find."
"My path will remain rectilinear, and true."
"Rectum what now? I thought you only knew words I used in front of you. I don't even know what you said."
"True, but now I have learned how your language works, thus am able to intuit new words. You cannot convince me that was not a word. Go- 'look it up' or whatever when you get back to Earth. It means 'I'll stay on the straight and narrow.'"
"Then why didn't you just say so? You're already teetering on the edge of being too annoying to keep around, buddy." I threatened, but I had to admit, a translator would be nice.
I have to say, the next leg of the journey went on without a hitch. The Jim-Bobs, Ted, and I were making good time. Find a monster, kill it, find a planet, explore it, find another monster, kill it too. I found so many new planets, although most were dead or never had life to begin with. The odd part was, Ted was sure he had visited some before, and interacted with the residents, but there was nothing but rock where I stood.
Next chapter: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/s/W0k0d15PJV

Have you ever witnessed the first formation of life? I mean, I've seen my children, I was there for every step of the process if you know what I mean. Hah. But what I'm talking about is from beyond the beginning. The molten slag of a planet forming over millions or even billions of years into a habitable plane. Have you seen, from that very point, chemicals coalescing and reproducing? Amino acids and the forming proteins?
Well today, I found out, when you die in the crypts, you don't see a light in the end of a tunnel. You witness something truly beautiful and pointless.
I watched the birth of life from nothing. Short molecular protein chains. No cell walls, no encasing membranes. If DNA or genetic code of any kind was in their descendant's future, it wasn't present now. I watched it cling to the surface of rock, self-replication fueled by the warm free energy of a sun, millions of generations, hard work, decay, and new growth, only to be destroyed by a crashing wave. The weak hydrogen bonds were broken, as simple as that. The ancestor's hard work gone in a single blink-and-you-miss-it moment. Somehow I knew, wherever this was, that was all the life that planet would ever see until it was swallowed up by its star.
It was a quick fleeting spark. All the dramas and soap operas in the world could have taken place in a single raindrop. A unique potential, unlike any others, this planet's chosen ones, snuffed out before it could evolve to breathe its first breath. Rather grim isn't it? I don't know why I dreamt it, but there it was, a pointless creation followed by an equally pointless destruction. I guess it was a nice commercial break from the missing-arm-induced pain i was suffering. A wonderful hilucination, if a bit mocob.
Anyway, back to my unimaginable blood-curdling, mind-wrenching torture porn session. My eyes were closed a very long time, but when they did open, I was finally where I should be. Horizontal in a hospital bed, surrounded by trained surgeons. That said, it was on an alien world, and the surgeons were not trained in human biology. What's worse, they had no way to dull the pain.
Death would have been a blessing, unfortunately, the doctors were good, in spite of the unknown make, model, and engine size laying before them. 5 hours under an experimental knife, and I think an arc welder, is what it took to reattach my arm and fix my internal organ damage. 5 hours of poking and prodding and searing and stitching and pulling and zapping. All things considered, I am impressed it only took 5 hours. Ted's species was remarkable when it came to taking in new information and applying it in the real world. All their extra brains probably didn't hurt either.
If you remember, Ted's species came equipped with five extremity brains, and a central one. That's three for all three of his legs, two for both of his arms, and one in his central body. Ted would have had six individual minds within him before I found him dead in a ditch beside that interstellar sidewalk. By that point, only one, Ted, had survived.
After my, let's say, unique experience, I was left alone in a dark room to rest. Ted came by to visit. Oh yeah, he had a body now. He wore that "Tall, dark, and extraterrestrial" look well. He was easily 7 feet tall in his real body. Those Ted-fu moves should pack a real punch in a body like that.
"That reminds me. You wanted your fighting moves back, right?" My voice was terribly parched after my morning shouting sessions.
Shouting obscenities at medical proffesionals was about all I could do when Ted's doctors were busy inventing a new form of torture. Seriously, take notes. Good stuff in there.
"Keep them. That isn't going to be my concern here. It's hard to even walk now, let alone fight." He admitted. "I'm used to having secondary brains do all the work. I would only take over when the situation required. Now, I'm all I've got."
"Just another one of us handicap one-brainers," I taunted. "How does it feel to be on my level? Could you say you're just 'too single-minded?"
He laughed. I don't think I've ever heard Ted lower himself to laughing at one of my jokes. It wasn't even a good one. I know I could have come up with something better. Hold on. I- huh... well, I guess the moment has passed.
Instead, I teased him again. "so, you have a sense of humor after all."
"Always have. You just aren't funny." He shot back.
Then it was my turn to laugh at a bad joke.
"Bad idea!" I realized aloud. "Laughing hurts. Don't make me laugh."
There was an awkward silence before Ted finally spoke again. Our whole conversation was full of them.
"You're going back there aren't you?" He asked.
"I have to. I have a family somewhere, and I have to know if they're still alive. Something bad is happening on earth and I just want to be there to protect them."
"I don't think you ever will find out."
"Blunt and to the point today are ya?"
"Always have been. You just never listen. Im serious. I dont think you'll make it home."
There it was again, that quiet that kept creeping back up into our conversation.
"What if you run into Brad again?" He asked. "I won't be there to reboot your brain next time. You will either die or-"
"Don't tell me."
"Or you will suffer greatly, then die." He continued while checking his version of fingernails.
"I told you not to tell me. Now I can choose which option I like better."
"I'm being serious." He shot back at me. "You have no defenses against him."
"I know. I'm hoping he's dead. That's three shots from a Tedidian gun he has taken now."
Neither of us were convinced.
"Tedidian? That's the name you gave my species? I'm honored."
"I'm the first of my kind here, I get the naming privileges."
If our conversation took place over the radio, the host would be mortified. Not by the subject matter, no. The silence would be dubbed "dead air" and the host would desperately clamor for a new topic to keep the dialogue active and dynamic. We didn't have that luxury. I think Ted was sorry he couldn't have done more to help, but he would never admit it. I actually might miss him after all- Nah... Too stuck up his own butt to admit his shortcomings. I dont need a guy like that tagging along.
"Do you- mourn the loss of your secondary minds? Were they separate thinking entities?"
"I mourned their loss eons ago. I have moved on. Now I have to re-remember how to walk and talk and do math equations without them. I will be slower than my academic peers, but I have with me knowledge of the unknowable. That should make up for some of my deficiencies."
Eventually, Ted was ushered out. I needed the rest. The doctors here were good. They had managed to piece together this broken puzzle written with a completely different alphabet, and accelerated my healing a great deal. Not really a surprise, given they could build Ted a whole new body. I was back on my feet in a matter of 2 days, using my arm in 3, and back to 70% at 4. I dont think I'll ever make it back to 100%, but all things considered, this is pretty good.
It's hard to tell how long I have been away from earth, but given this trip was meant to last a very long time, I don't suspect I should miss my flight, so long as I find my portal. As long as I can find Eddy. So long as I can find all of them; Eddy, Rook, James, even Jyong and Me-Yan.
Ted's people had a similar arrangement to earth's at first. When Ted was an explorer, their portal was at the edge of the system, but they brought it down to their planet with rockets and parachutes after he and a few others never came back. The history was fascinating. They were a united planet, far and above the most advanced I have come across so far, but in spite of that, the portal slowly leeched off the planet, and spat out horrors beyond their imagination. What they once used as an interstellar fast travel, quickly turned into a speed bump, then a health hazard. There was a reason the builders set this portal so far away from the planet. It wasn't meant to be here, so Ted's people had to build a wall, with poor old lost Ted on the other side. They closely monitored the other side though, and were shocked to find the brain activity of a Tedidian coming from yours truly. That would be Ted's mind, shoulder to shoulder with mine, in my head if you weren't following along. Then they rescued me from Brad.
Speaking of, I asked around about Brad. Someone shot him, so that someone should know if he survived. I had to know if he would be waiting for me on the other side. Eventually, I asked the right person, who introduced me to my rescuer. He wore a white uniform and carried a big gun, even for Tedidian standards. I was kinda jealous. I like my pew pews, but these things were on another level.
He confidently told me that Brad was indeed "dead." I had Ted translate for me whenever I spoke to a native, but they were quickly learning on their own how to speak Sean-ese. That's the language I told them I speak. Might as well leave a lasting mark. That confidence, however, did not come from a place I liked.
"But did you actually see it dead?" I pressed.
"Nothing survives a plasma arc, even a graze, let alone two." He scoffed. Or I think he scoffed. There is no universal interplanetary sign that someone is scoffing at you. You just have to pick up on subtle undertones of pride, shock, or snood. Ted had lots of snood. Luckily, he broke the mold. The people here were as different as people are on earth. I just happened to get the most insufferable one imaginable. Just my luck.
"Then call this thing 'nobody,' because it survived one before." I suggested.
His eyes widened, glad to see that was an interplanetary sign of surprise. "Th-that isn't possible."
"Oh, but it is." Ted interjected
Oh good, that thing could be waiting for me for all I know. I never thought I'd be scared to be without a Ted in my head, but there I was, terrified. He was right. Without him, I had no defense.
We were walking back to Ted's place when I began replaying the past events in my head. My vision was something I couldn't shake. It was real. I felt like I was one of those chains of self-replicating chemicals. That's almost all they were, chemicals, but they had every marker required to classify life. They even responded to change in the environment. They were short-lived bonded protein chains that consumed, produced waste, even grew by self-replication and bonding.
"Hey Ted," I started. "I wanted to run something by you."
"I'm listening, but let's keep it under 280 characters. I'm not in the mood for a marathon today."
I rolled my eyes. "Glad to see you're back to your old self."
"My old self? I've been trying to get back to that, but every time I open my eyes, there you are."
"Look here Dane Cook, I saw something after the attack. It was on another planet. I think someone is trying to show me something."
"You were also close to Brad at the time, who we know can alter your perception."
"Maybe, but this felt different. The first time he affected my mind, he put me in a dreamlike state. Then he used something familiar to me to disguise himself. This was different. I wasn't me, I was this green amino-acid chain with no protective coating. All I could sense were chemicals, no light, no sound, but I knew what was happening too, like I was watching from the outside at the same time."
Ted learned how to roll his eyes just now from me, and mimicked the action to an exagerated end. "Don't think much about it. Many Tedidians see a light at the end of a tunnel when we are close to death. Perhaps this is just your version."
"Perhaps." One thing is certain, even if it scares me, I would be glad to be without Ted. I almost forgot how annoying he was after our little bonding session.
"But I have a question for you. Who is Dane Cook?"
"My planet's worst comedian. Thats not the point."
The day did come that I had to leave, and Ted, in his usual fashion, refused to say goodbye. Instead, all he would say is "I won't be far behind." Cryptic, right? Like, what is that supposed to mean?
At first, I thought "Great. And right after I thought I got rid of him." But then I thought about it. It would be an interesting cultural slang to say "we will meet again." Does Ted believe in an afterlife?does he think I'll wimp out and come back?
Pointless questions aside, there was some good news. He gave me a new gun. This one made an even bigger "kaboom!" It was really fun. Heh. Haha. Gimme-gimme.
I was happy to see Jim-Bob waiting for me at the portal. I hadn't seen him since I set off that sonic weapon. Their feet are so sensitive to vibrations and sound, that weapon really messed with them. The Tedidian doctors had their work cut out for them fixing 5 listening organs per Jim-Bobidian. Together, all 20 odd Jim-Bobs and I, stepped through the portal to the nightmare world.
Now that I was on this side of the portal, I could see that Brad was gone. Oh boy, what fun. You know what else? I held onto that old piece of alien tech that Ted had his brain shoved into. I thought it would make a neat souvenir. Wouldn't you believe it if as soon as the doors closed behind me, I heard that S.O.B's voice saying "So, where to next?"
Ted copied himself yet again into that stupid thing. Didn't take long to figure out what he meant by "I won't be far behind."
"What the hell, Ted?" I shouted.
"Surprised to hear my voice?" He asked?
"More pissed than surprised. I thought I finally got rid of you."
"Oh stop it, you are happy to see me, admit it."
"I thought you wanted to go home. What happened to me just being a pair of legs?"
"Ah yes, but there's a crucial difference between that Ted and this one. This one is artificial, and doesn't get lonely. I am merely a copy of a personality. That way, when you die, I won't get homesick."
"I smell bullshit," I said.
Surprisingly, he didn't make an astronauts and diapers joke. Instead, he said "Got me. I am an explorer, remember? Even if I was homesick, I still yearn for the other-worldly. My adventuring days are not yet over, and this way, I can never die, unlike someone I know."
"News flash, Ted, you did die, and give me that self-aggrandizing crap you pulled in the beginning, and I'm throwing your immortal ass down the throat of the next giant monster I find."
"My path will remain rectilinear, and true."
"Rectum what now? I thought you only knew words I used in front of you. I don't even know what you said."
"True, but now I have learned how your language works, thus am able to intuit new words. You cannot convince me that was not a word. Go- 'look it up' or whatever when you get back to Earth. It means 'I'll stay on the straight and narrow.'"
"Then why didn't you just say so? You're already teetering on the edge of being too annoying to keep around, buddy." I threatened, but I had to admit, a translator would be nice.
I have to say, the next leg of the journey went on without a hitch. The Jim-Bobs, Ted, and I were making good time. Find a monster, kill it, find a planet, explore it, find another monster, kill it too. I found so many new planets, although most were dead or never had life to begin with. The odd part was, Ted was sure he had visited some before, and interacted with the residents, but there was nothing but rock where I stood.
Next chapter: https://www.reddit.com/HFY/s/W0k0d15PJV

Hi, I just moved to Michigan from Virginia with my boyfriend. It’s been almost 5 months. I’m tired of being around his family and would like friends outside of it. lol We have nothing in common. And I can tell you all about it in a letter or email lol. About me -I like crochet & cross stitching - playing sims 2 atm -writing. Trying to get better at cursive - cooking -I live in a camper so we can talk about that if you want -like Coke Zero - and I enjoy a long email or letter
I’m sure I’m missing stuff but that’s kinda the point of the letters right?
I’m looking for female penpals because I’m surrounded by dudes, apparently his family cannot produce women which is great for them but not for me socially.

Stitching Style: Choosing the Best Alphabet for Your Embroidery Machine The world of embroidery machine fonts, also known as alphabets, can be vast and dazzling. From classic block letters to whimsical scripts, the options seem endless.
https://embroidery-pro.com/discover-our-best-choice-of-alphabet-for-embroidery-machine/

I’m 35m and a virgin with the female population. I’ve had 1 sexual experience with a female and she thought I had done this before (had she only known my Teacher at 14 was Talk Sex with Sue on late night TV😂🤣😂) do the alphabet with your tongue in cursive omg 😳 😅😅😅🥹it works!! It works REALLY GOOD hahahaha (alphabet and dik are different…. 😂🤣😂) I can attest to that one.. but this girl got super weird about my virginity and become like so turned on IM GOING TO TAKE YOUR VIRGINITY FROM YOU!! And it was creepy to me, very creepy I’ve never seen anyone behave that way before in my life.. I couldn’t do it with her, emotionally she freaked me out a lot and my dik felt the same way about it.. BUT when I lost my virginity to a guy it was kinda heartbreaking bc he wanted nothing to do with me after that… (oh wells..😢) Some guys just play it like a game going guy to guy (hence HepraGonaSyphilAids existing! 😅) that’s the term that comes to mind when someone wants to BB without protection or proper sexual health testing and then BB.. 😉 Know your partner guys and gals, get tested then love their insides ❤️ lol! 😂 But still being a virgin to the female population at 35 makes me wonder if it’s gunna happen at this point, I’m happy being single but a partner would be great financially to have… (secretly I think having a female pound the shit out of me would be sexually fun, as long as they are sexually pleased as well, any toy ideas out there LMAO!🤣) but finding that kind of SPECIAL person is going to be rare!! (Any takers on Reddit here?! I’m not unattractive btw😂🤣😂) actually I would be curious if any female redditors respond to this post!!
I honestly want honest feedback here. But from Females mostly, I know some males are going to chirp in here.. So for history purposes all of my past lovers have been men but my heart is an open heart and that love is love regardless of gender, it’s what’s on the inside that I care about, your soul and purpose on this earth is all that matters.. It’s also not that I haven’t found love, I’ve found it and didn’t realize it and self sabotaged myself and hindsight is 20/20 when it comes to this topic, I can see clearly now what I did wrong and how I could have done better and made things work long term.. I truly believe my 1st encounter as being a one night date has had long lasting impacting mental health with me sub consciously but now that I’m aware of that I can fix it moving forward!! 😀 I’m ready for something longer term and eager to make it work out and also make it romantic too, I’m kind of a hopeless romantic type guy.. the kinda clawfoot roses in the tub make love kinda guy.. 🥰 if you get my drift.. 😉

I’m 35 and a virgin with the female population. I’ve had 1 sexual experience with a female and she thought I had done this before (had she only known my Teacher at 14 was Talk Sex with Sue on late night TV😂🤣😂) do the alphabet with your tongue in cursive omg 😳 😅😅😅🥹it works!! It works REALLY GOOD hahahaha (alphabet and dik are different…. 😂🤣😂) I can attest to that one.. but this girl got super weird about my virginity and become like so turned on IM GOING TO TAKE YOUR VIRGINITY FROM YOU!! And it was creepy to me, very creepy I’ve never seen anyone behave that way before in my life.. I couldn’t do it with her, emotionally she freaked me out a lot and my dik felt the same way about it.. BUT when I lost my virginity to a guy it was kinda heartbreaking bc he wanted nothing to do with me after that… (oh wells..😢) Some guys just play it like a game going guy to guy (hence HepraGonaSyphilAids existing! 😅) that’s the term that comes to mind when someone wants to BB without protection or proper sexual health testing and then BB.. 😉 Know your partner guys and gals, get tested then love their insides ❤️ lol! 😂 But still being a virgin to the female population at 35 makes me wonder if it’s gunna happen at this point, I’m happy being single but a partner would be great financially to have… (secretly I think having a female pound the shit out of me would be sexually fun, as long as they are sexually pleased as well, any toy ideas out there LMAO!🤣) but finding that kind of SPECIAL person is going to be rare!! (Any takers on Reddit here?! I’m not unattractive btw😂🤣😂) actually I would be curious if any female redditors respond to this post!!
I honestly want honest feedback here. But from Females mostly, I know some males are going to chirp in here.. So for history purposes all of my past lovers have been men but my heart is an open heart and that love is love regardless of gender, it’s what’s on the inside that I care about, your soul and purpose on this earth is all that matters.. It’s also not that I haven’t found love, I’ve found it and didn’t realize it and self sabotaged myself and hindsight is 20/20 when it comes to this topic, I can see clearly now what I did wrong and how I could have done better and made things work long term.. I truly believe my 1st encounter as being a one night date has had long lasting impacting mental health with me sub consciously but now that I’m aware of that I can fix it moving forward!! 😀 I’m ready for something longer term and eager to make it work out and also make it romantic too, I’m kind of a hopeless romantic type guy.. the kinda clawfoot roses in the tub make love kinda guy.. 🥰 if you get my drift.. 😉

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-----Damian-----

In the medical bay Damian orders the dogs to lay down, ignoring how they all spread throughout the room, most lying flat out, making it into an obstacle course to move through them all without accidentally stepping on a paw or tail. He carefully takes the small one the red brown one had been carrying (he'll have to look at all their name tags soon) and gently laid it on a counter, wrapping it in a few towels. With the wounds hidden it almost looked like it was sleeping. Tearing his gaze away from the dog he gets to work.

He wanders through the room, looking through cabinets and reading labels on various bottles and containers for something he recognizes to patch up the dogs' wounds. Eventually he finds the things he needs, more or less. He remembers them being used on him and they hadn't had any negative effects so far, so he hopes it won't be bad for the dogs.

His birds did tell him, at the times he was coherent enough to understand, that most of the stuff he grabbed were 'galactic standard issue'. Apparently that meant that, somehow, when the product comes in contact with a living being it adjusts parts of itself to do whatever job it is supposed to with as little damage to the being as possible. He has no idea how Violet and Blueberry used some long-winded overly scientific explanation that lost him after the first chirp. He just smiled and nodded like he understood anything they had said. The main point got across though: it won't hurt any being it is used on as it did its job. It may not be as good as species-specific medicines but it's good enough for now.

He did as best he could to patch up the dogs, working on what minor medical knowledge he could remember from before his abduction, which isn't much. He worked from the worst injuries, in the entire group, to the more minor ones. That meant crisscrossing both the room and the dogs themselves, but he didn't care. The dogs were all good and stayed as still as they could as he patched them up, making him thankful not to use the 'standard issue sedatives' he had grabbed just in case.

By the time he taped off the last bandage he was exhausted. He shook off the exhaustion, though. He slid the dogs, half of which were either asleep or dosing off, towards one side of the room. He chuckled at the sleepy grumbles and grunts the disturbance drew from the dogs, muttering a soft, "(I know: How dare I. How rude.)" under his breath in a slight baby voice. Once the floor was mostly cleared he cleaned up everything he used on the dogs and tried his best to put them back where he got them from. He kept a few out to half-heartedly clean and patch (repatch for some) his own wounds. Only once he completely finished his own wounds and cleaning the area did he let himself sag with exhaustion.

He leaned against a counter (originally designed more like a raised walkway for his birds) and sighed. He took a second to try and relax a bit. Ow, ow, ok no. That hurt too much. He sighed again, deep enough it felt like it came from his toes, and stood upright again. He was just about to leave and go find his birds to tell them about their impromptu guests when a half-bark stopped him. It was like when you asked a dog to bark quietly and they made more of a puff of air than a bark, that kind of 'houmph'. Turning he saw the boxer staring at him intently. At his attention it perked and wagged its tail nub.

He smiled and took a step to leave when it whined. He glanced back again, and it looked so sad. It pillows its head on the dog in front of it, causing it to wake, look at him, and whine. This chain reaction swept through all five dogs until there was a horde of sad puppy eyes begging him to stay. He sighed for a third time and shuffled his way over. He sat next to the group of dogs and sent them a look.

"(There. Ya happy now, ya big babies?)" The furthest dog leapt to its feet and bounded over to flop down on him, drawing a breathless grunt from him. The other four followed its lead and, quite literally, dogpiled him. He ended up laying down, head pillowed on one dog (who's head was on his shoulder) with the rest of the group piled around and over him, working together to become a living blanket. He chuckled and petted the ones he could reach.

He opened a holo-pad and quickly sent a message to his birds about his 'guests'. He was about to send a follow-up, longer message explaining what they were, how he found them, and where all of them were when one dog yanked the pad out of his grip with a playful tail wag. It slipped out of its mouth on the pullback and ended up accidentally throwing it to the other side of the room. All six of the group watched it fly, hit the wall (causing a small dent), and land on the ground with a bounce and a few sparks from the certainly now broken pad. There was a second of silence before the dog, a German Shepard if he had to guess, opened their mouth in a smile-mimicking pant and raised its head to look behind it at Damian with a few tail wags. Damian busted out laughing at the action.

"Ok. Point taken." He ruffled the dog's scruff and it closed its eyes, tail thumping. From this angle and distance, he couldn't quite reach it's collar to look at its tag. He turned to the ones he could get to instead. The first one he looked at was the wolfdog looking one. Her collar was one of those chain-collars, the ones where when the dog pulled the collar would tighten. On one of the rings was her name tag.

'Casper' it read in semi-cursive lettering like a ghost wrote it. He pets her head, saying her name to her. She leaned back to lay flat out, shoulder landing on his thigh and head flopping over his lap and one of the dogs already there. He chuckled then paused when he saw a blank spot in her fur. Now that he saw her closer and straight out it wasn't a spot but a long line. It started a bit behind an ear with a chunk missing and traveled down her neck, over her shoulders and spine to end over her opposite hip. He gently brushed the fur aside to see a thick fully healed scar. Her long fluffy fur had hidden it well enough he hadn't realized she even had a scar. Poor thing. He gently pets down the scar a few times before moving to the next dog.

The Great Dane-looking one was the next closest, being the one that volunteered for the pillow position, but he already knew his name. He pats the dog's side with a small cooed 'Braxi-boy'. The dog gave its tail a few sleepy wags before going back to sleep, the jaw of his heavy head digging into Damian's shoulder. He looked at the dog on his chest next. It's the stocky red-brown one with the splash-acid-burn scar on its jaw. Her collar was a, now old and worn, bandanna with the name lovingly stitched into it. 'Dingo' it read. The stitching was a bit sloppy and not very even, giving the impression it either wasn't someone at all skilled in needlework or it was a child's best attempt. He ran his hand down the sloppy stitches and smiled softly. Dingo didn't wake when he pets her with her name on his lips.

The Shepard and Boxer were both out of his reach by and over his legs, but he was just able to read the tag hanging from the Boxer's collar. 'Diesel'. He chuckled. With the black-brown-tan-grey coloring in stripey lines (what was that called? It had a name. Bridle? Bindle? Bundle? It started with a 'B' and ended with an '-dle') covering he had a good guess where the name came from. He rubbed the sleeping dog with his foot as best he could. That just left the Shepard.

He tried to figure out how to read its tag without disturbing the dogs using him as both a pillow and bed when the dog in question got up with a stretch and wide yawn. He watched it as it walked closer and plopped itself down on the pile, ending up pushing one dog a bit further away from him to press between the two. The disturbed dog whipped its head up with an annoyed grunt but flopped back down without further protest. Damian chuckled.

"Well. That works too." He looked at the Shepard's collar, its name was on a plate screwed into the collar itself. 'Tater'. Was that supposed to be 'potato' with a heavy country accent? Thats amazing. He cooed her name while he pets her ears, gaining a sleepy huff and a few tail wags in response. Satisfied with knowing the dogs’ names (he made a point not to look at the towel burrito on the counter) he yawned widely, causing a chain reaction through all the awake or partially awake dogs around him.

That's how his flock found him in their panicked search for him: curled up on the floor of the medical bay with a pack of collared predators piled on and around him. He was snoring. He was dead asleep and snoring. Damian may have gotten relaxed enough to sleep properly and not the 'barely deeper than dose' than he had been before his birds, but it was always either a light sleep or complete unconsciousness because of some other factor like exhaustion or fresh wounds. This is the first time any of his flock had seen him sleep with actual rest like he should.

Ree cautiously walked over and nudged an arm. Normally that was enough to wake him if he wasn't completely unconscious but not this time. Ree blinked in surprise then nudged a bit harder. Damian didn't respond. He glanced at the rest of the flock, unsure. Ares waddled over, barely keeping himself from tripping over tails and paws as he did. He then crouched down, grabbed Damian's wrist with both his tiny paws and lifted it. He then promptly dropped it. The dog it fell onto grunted and shifted, causing more dogs to grumble and shift, but Damian didn't even twitch. His snores stuttered for a second when Dingo shifted on his chest but resumed normally soon after.

Not sure how best to implement this. Here is an example situation that illustrates what I'm trying achieve on my project. Let's say for example I have an high-end eCommerce website. I have three microservices:

• API Gateway (allows me to query both the employee and orders via Schema stitching from one endpoint)
• Employee
• Orders

On my webpage I have a list of orders. Each order is associated with an employeeId who is responsible for the order. The orders table could be thousands of rows in length and employees can be associated to more than one order. As per my requirements, I want to add a filter that a user of the system can then filter down to the employees so that they know how is responsible for each order. My filter dropdown list by requirement should NOT list all employees. It should only list employees that are currently associated to an order. So if John, Paul, and George all have orders but Ringo does not then Ringo should not appear in my dropdown. Additionally, I only want each employee to appear once so if John has 24 orders I will only see John's name once in my filter list. Something I will want to do as well is sort the names for my filter so that it is in alphabetical order in the filter list but that can be done later.
Part of the problem with this is that my orders and employees microservice don't know about each other. They are in separate database and the types are contained in separate project. The only relation between them is that my orders table has a nullable employeeId field (since an employee may not be assigned to an order immediately).
I've done a little googling and I've seen different ways to handle this:

1. Have the gateway startup a GraphQL client and make requests to the employee and orders microservice providing the information necessary to retrieve the aggregated and ordered data.
2. Creating resolvers and batch data loading.

I don't have a lot of GraphQL experience myself, so I'm wondering how have others handled joining filtered, aggregated and ordered data across microservices?
In the future, I would find it helpful if I could query the whole employee object in my Orders query so that if I were looking at a specific order I could get some more info on the employee (e.g. years of experience, first name, last name, nick-name and other fields). Not sure if this is relevant to the response though.
EDIT: For more details on my setup:

• Frontend: I'm using Angular 17 with the Apollo Client (and GraphQL codegen).
• Backend: I'm using HotChocolate (C# implementation) on dotnet 7

While I'd find it helpful for info that works closely with my tech stack I'm okay with just having design strategy that works best for this type of situation.