Nice things to say about your daughter

My boyfriend had been working to rebuild my trust (history posted below). It seems things were getting better. He lately told me that the outings he had with friends were all men. On Saturday he went to his friend’s birthday at the baclub. He came back around 4am when he said he’d come back a lot earlier. I wasn’t thinking too much of it and had recently woken up. He was texting me as he was coming home and so I made him a hot cup of tea and toast since it was cold out. When he came in I felt like something was weird about him. My gut reaction hit and my anxiety started going up. I asked if there was anyone else but the guys and he said no. I asked if I could see his phone to help me feel better and he said sure (side note: he promised me I could see his phone whenever I needed to feel better when he broke my trust before).
He wouldn’t let me touch his phone, showed just the front page of Instagram, and then started complaining he doesn’t like this treatment and he feels like I’m the police. I didn’t really say much, just listen and he then went to the bathroom. I looked at his account on my phone and I watched the followers # drop by 4. So he was deleted accounts while in the bathroom.
He came out and continued to say I make him feel bad and I’m like the police. Then I asked if he was hiding anything. He said no. We’re religious/spiritual so I asked if he could something like “God I promise I’m not hiding something” he struggled to say the whole sentence with God in it. I finally confronted him and had screenshots of one girl I knew was new before he deleted. He said he didn’t know who she is and probably someone from the past.
Eventually it came out that he met her that very night and he thought it was ok to add her because she’s the girl his friend is trying to date? She apparently arrived at the end of the night. The conversations with that male friend were also all deleted. (His reason: because I’m friends with the ex of that male friend and might mention the new girl to the ex. I barely speak to her btw…).
Anyways later I found out he also went to this tourist hostel/bar the day prior and met to other girls at the bar there and added them on Instagram. He said he was talking to the guy they were with and that’s how he met them but the guy doesn’t haven Instagram so he doesn’t have proof of the guy’s existence. He forgot to delete these girls.
He then said he has other situations adds girls to be nice but deleted them because he’s worried I’ll find out since we decided just while we’re rebuilding trust to not be chatting with girls and getting their Instagram. He says he’s not cheating but was worried of causing problems and so that’s why he lied.
I almost broke up with his over this lie. It’s all very bad right now and I feel I have zero trust in him. Did I overreact?
History: When he was traveling for work in another country he found out this girl was in a party beach town nearby. This girl is very provocative on her Instagram and he had a date with before he met me. He asked her to share a hotel (he said to save money and it’s what friends do?) and she’s didn’t respond to that so they never met up. He deleted those messages. I found out because this girl thought it was weird and sent me screenshots. Hence he promised I could see his phone whenever I needed.
Also he added a waitress on Instagram from the hotel he stayed at while traveling from work. For my that seems like a very weird thing to do.

My fellow gamers, for too long has our community suffered the indignation of an intolerable culture that has denigrated, besmirched, exploited, and has outright demonized our culture of unique individuals with a genuine love of a hobby that they see as profitable and progressive. They have taken beloved IP’s (Intellectual Properties) and twisted them into their own personal ideological crusade of undermining and humiliating the core aspects of characters they deemed as “Toxic” or “White Supremacy”. Through the guise and protection of DEI (Diversity, Equity, and Inclusivity) & ESG (Environmental, Social, and Governance) they have used our influence in the entertainment industry to push their narratives and agendas that have stigmatized our culture with numerous anti-consumer practices that they call “being progressive”. But the truth of the matter is they were never really looking to be a part of our community, they simply wanted to use our community as a tool of activism and propaganda in the entertainment industry as it was extremely profitable, and they wanted inclusion in that division. Ever since GamerGate & Female Frequency, we have had to endure the incursion of forced ideologies, xenophobic behaviors and inferior overpriced products that have never been in our best interest and have been flat out disgraceful towards foreign media.
Before Gaming had become a major source of entertainment, we were often categorized as anti-social or societies rejects where because we found more enjoyment in playing fictional characters and not spending as much time out and about, we never fully assimilated in society (which is a good thing if you ask me). From 1998 to 2007, at the height of innovation, creativity and production, Gaming had reached a golden age in which it had revolutionized society. Hollywood Execs who had ruined the movie industry turned their attention to video games as a source of income since video games had outperformed movies in terms of profit. No one was concerned about gaming, much less diversity or inclusivity until it became profitable. This makes people like SBI look extremely disingenuous as they were not interested in gamers as a community with its own culture. They simply wanted to use it as another weapon in identity politics.
Microtransactions; the hidden enemy to gamer progress and inducer to mental laziness of our community. Microtransactions have been around for a long time; however, it has never been more potent and apparent than in recent years. It has aided in the dismantling and segregation of players on the ideology of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and has created another sub-culture of gamers who have no real drive to be better outside of how much money they put into the game. This has degraded our culture as well as we have become “fat” off transactional gaming but at the same time we have been “starved” of purposeful gaming where our achievements were our sustenance. I am not saying that microtransactions are bad, but when they are exploitative and predatorial like they have been and don’t give gamers room to grow, we become lethargic and unwilling to improve ourselves as gamers. Oversaturated microtransactional games are one of the many reasons why we have become complacent and unwilling to fight against the exploitative tactics used by big brand game companies such EA, Ubisoft, ActivisionBlizzard, NaughtyDog and so many other western business model companies. Western style games were not like this in the past, they had much more depth and actual effort put into them with the gamer in mind. This has not been the case for over a decade and our connection to western developers has been whittled down to just being transactional. That is one of the reasons why you see so many remasters and remakes in today’s gamer community. They have lost their willingness to improve as developers of games and simply accept corporate/share holder rules.
Game journalists also do not have any real integrity or purpose outside of being funded for their involvement in promoting IPG (Identity Political Games) in a positive light to the public whether it’s positively received or not. They are not interested in what we have to say, they all support the same agenda and that is why they are a dying breed. Within the next couple of years, they will be out of the job and more than likely they will not be able to stay in the industry giving how they have responded to past articles that have clearly been scripted on the premise of diversity and racism. Not only that, but most of them are also extremely hostile to the community as they stereotype and defame the individuals that are a part of the community they are supposed to serve. We have been mentally liberated from their lies and coercive tactics as we tend to laugh at their obvious attempt at virtue signaling while hiding their misdoings so that they can play the victim.
My gamer brothers & sisters, I would not suggest the following action that we must take now without good cause. I have weighed our options and the best option for us now is this…...CULTURAL SECESSION. Naturally this is a form of segregation where they would more than likely claim they are being segregated by the dominant culture of the gaming community but that is incorrect. For years now we have been the ones who are often marginalized and ostracized for the smaller portion of our community. And when we aren’t, we’re exploited for more funds so that these companies can stay in business only to subject us to low quality products that coincide with the “WOKE Agenda” that are often huge expenses to these big brands i.e. AAA/AAAA games that will eventually flop for its obvious forced diversity and bug infested product which will undoubtedly piss off the consumer to the point of wanting a refund. Losing copious amounts of capital and stock in the process, not to mention their reputation is permanently marred.
We must separate on every cultural level in terms of entertainment and ideology. We must reject everything from the west that promotes toxic western beliefs, practices, and exclusion from other cultures (i.e. Southeastern Countries such as Japan and Korea). Japan & Korea have been the targets of unjust discrimination from Western Developers, Western Journalists, Western Localizers (The Wokelizers) and Western Society Prejudice regarding their sense of aesthetics as Westerners hate the aesthetic sense of these countries. The reason why they resort to such base tactics isn’t just because it weaponizes the ideal female form but it’s also because they have deep-seated insecurities about their own looks so when they see attractive female characters, they use terms such as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized” to establish the moral high ground. But the truth is, they want to feel superior to that which is ideal, so they insult and dehumanize this figure that portrays natural female beauty because they see it as an insult to their own social superiority in what they believe is a hierarchy of them being at the top of all other women. Because of this and so many contributing factors, their movies flop harder than the Fat Chocobo landing on a group of enemies and their games seismically fail just as much if not more. We must sever our connection to Western Developers, Publishers, and ALL Western-Centric Entertainment for they seek to mentally enslave us to their Xenophobic ideology.
Let’s define Western Culture and its traits. Western Culture/Society is composed of more than several different ideologies that work in unison with one another to facilitate dominance over multiple aspects of society. Business, Social, Political, Technological, and sometimes even Global Affairs are affected by these ideologies that portray a specific mindset of Western beliefs. What are those ideologies you ask?

• Perpetual Victimhood: By weaponizing the fact that they are marginalized and of a small portion of western society, they can push their agenda to absurd standards that ultimately ostracize the main demographic. And when companies don’t capitulate, they are labeled as anti-progressive/misogynist’s or cohorts of White Supremacy. They use this to cancel their targets and silence them through societal defamation to keep the public on their side. They also use this mindset to justify their own lack of self-agency as they tend to throw companies who do adhere to their demands but miserably fail to turn a profit under the bus so that they can maintain face in front of the public while denying their actual involvement. They will never accept “Sense of Agency” when it’s negative but will gladly accept it when a positive outcome shines on them as if they are entitled to it.

Official Wiki GamerGate Page)
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• Societal Terrorism: This is another form of ideology weaponization that they use in order to make companies “toe-the-line” with their agenda. By weaponizing cancel culture, they exert dominance over these companies but in exchange they also reimburse those companies with DEI & ESG funds that raise their credit score as well as having social status with the marginalized demographic. However; cancel culture has not succeeded in years and developers and publishers probably only want the money and the DEI ESG rating. But they have to maintain the image of having social economic power so that they can continue to strong-arm other developers into compliance and promoting financial benefits of DEI & ESG. In other words, if you are not for sale, they discredit and stigmatize you in the industry.

Asmongold Clips.
https://youtu.be/Iq86DnmX2xY
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• “Its not us, its you who’s wrong” Mentality: This mentality is especially annoying as they tend to use it to hide their incompetence. They often look down upon gamers who are not in the industry to hide their obvious lack of knowledge on game development thinking that their job title grants them special status that they believe gives them the right to be condescending. But the truth they never wanted revealed has already strangled their careers of all credibility. They were never GAMERS, they were INVADERS. Community Colonists that seek to indoctrinate next generational gamers into their hive-mind and brand previous generations of gamers as villains.

@GeeksandGamers
https://youtu.be/1HbrTkqQFuM
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• Double-standard Enforcement: By labeling something as “unrealistic” or “hypersexualized”, they can claim this is morally wrong if it promotes traditional dynamics between men and women. Heterosexual relationships are condemned while at the same time Same-sex relationships are praised. Additionally, heterosexual relationships with main white male characters turn antagonistic and spotlight stealing. This is deliberate as to promote the “Girl Boss” ideology to indoctrinate women into the Feminazi state of mind. While at the same time, should a male character also adopt the “I don’t need male/female” ideology its seen as Toxic Masculinity which isn’t even a real thing. The idea of a strong male character is taboo while enforcing strong female characters is the ideal.

@MugenLord
https://youtu.be/to5Uciy_yeg
@EndymionTv
https://youtu.be/7TPTR8-qmbk
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• Dehumanization/Demonization: This is something that most military branches use in order to remove conscious inhibitions such as mass slaughter is wrong or categorization. By enforcing ideologies to denounce humanity in certain targets, it deactivates your conscience by saying this is not human therefore its ethically okay to treat this target without compassion and deny the fact it has sentience. We gamers fall under this category for journalists, developers, companies and society at large. This is a tactic we are familiar with to an extent as it implies that we are not normal when we do not do what everybody else is doing. “Geeks are the worse” or “Nerds need to fall into a pit of lava” are verbal dehumanization forms that most people in society say and we as Gamers tend to be relegated to those categories. This is their way of imposing the social hierarchy on us by establishing superiority. We know this as Gamers as we see it very often in the games that we play and some times experience it in real life.

https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Gamergate#The_end_of_their_relevance
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• Deflection/Projection: This is basic psychology 101. By redirecting the conversation away from their mistakes and back on to the opposing view to avert blame and justify their innocence they can avoid criticism. However; deflection is a CONSCIOUS decision, meaning they have no real argument to justify their incompetence. If you can consciously process the situation, you have self-agency which means you don’t have a legitimate excuse. Projection is something else entirely. Most times, Projection doesn’t work on conscious decisions rather it is automatically deployed when feeling threatened, anxious or both. Instead of accepting accountability for feelings or actions that are deemed socially unacceptable they accuse others of committing that unacceptable behavior thereby exonerating themselves and proving that those feelings and/or actions are not their own.

@TheTrentReport
https://youtu.be/bPIPSKruYRo
These traits are so nefarious and unconscionable that I have a hard time believing that anyone could harbor them. However, given the social, political, and economic climate that we are in, those in power who use their influence on controlling society most definitely possess these insidious traits. Everything that they do is all about control and since video games are the biggest market in the world, they want control over it and the communities built around it to accrue more wealth and to use that wealth to subjugate other cultures. Mainstream media is a tool as well as mainstream organizations and sites to help accomplish this goal.
The government recently announced its intentions towards what they believe is “GamerGate 2.0” and now even the ADL has made an official appearance, referring to gamers as “extremist’s”. We know EXACTLY what they are doing, and they aren’t even trying to hide it anymore because they don’t think we are aware of their motives. This is just a pretext for them to exert even more control and we know why, it’s because they want the influence we as a community have to must serve them. So here is what we do my fellow gamers-
“In light of recent events and years of mainstream stigma, we the members of the Global Gaming Community [GGC] must officially renounce ALL TIES to the corporate western video game market. We have been financially exploited through predatorial monetization schemes, pelted with numerous articles of disdain and intentional misrepresentation from game journalists, news outlets regarding us as dangerous individuals and, even subjected to inferior products not only riddled with bugs but also products meant to push political agendas. For the preservation of our community and its unique culture, apart from a few select game development studios we officially sever all connections to western owned video game companies & their mainstream affiliates. From this point onward, we will no longer support western corporate developers, journalists and publishers that do not coincide with the goals of our community.”
Naturally this is completely optional. If you are okay with the state of the gaming community as it is, feel free to ignore this. But if you wish for real change and a break away from oversaturated monetization in the games you play and the push for radical ideological reform, then you are in the right place. Lets sever these rotted miasmic ties once and for all so that our community can be preserved and made better for future gamers. If you agree with this, share it with whoever you think might be interested. The more gamers who get involved, the easier it will be for us to finally break free from mainstream game companies and their associates.

So I F 28 and my partner M 26 have been together coming up on a year in about a week.
So for context; I have been cheated on 3 times before by previous partners.
A few weeks ago someone messaged my partner in the middle of the night. We talked about it and he was forthright and gave me access to his phone. I could not find anything suspicious on his phone. But due to my unfortunate dating history, I decided to make a post on my local facebook group called ‘Are we dating the same guy’ just for my own sanity. (trust but verify)
Good news! No one is talking/dating him , but apparently someone else posted about him about a year and a half ago, and his ex commented on that post. It was a long paragraph, but the most concerning thing was that she had said he had admitted to her that he had sexual thoughts about his mother.
Now I have known this man for a year and I have gotten no indication of this at all. He has said previously that talking about kinks makes him uncomfortable so our conversations have always been brief.
Last night I decided to try to bring up kinks in a casual way. It wasn’t a long discussion but it got uncomfortable and basically he said, the things he feels and thinks bring him shame and he doesn’t want to share them with me.
I don’t exactly want to bring the post up as the reason for my posting of him was due to my anxiety of being cheated on. I just happened to find something his ex posted as a result of that, that mentioned a kink that may or may not be true.
I want to support my partner. I’m of the opinion that as long as your kink doesn’t hurt anyone else who cares? At least for most run of the mill kinks. But this? I’m concerned to say the least.
How do you navigate your partner potentially having an incest kink with their mom? This is completely uncharted territory.
He has been so kind and sweet to me and I’m genuinely at a loss. Do I just let this go?
(For context he has a very normal relationship with his mom as far as I have observed. His mom is nice and a bit overbearing, and I also have a good relationship with her. She is admittedly very beautiful and looks like she is 10-15 years younger than she is. She also used to model)

Hi I hope you're doing good ! So I've been in tbe hobby for 10 years and now I want to make a bit of profit with it. I am in a small appartment so I can't do bigger installations, so I figured I'd try shrimps and maybe guppies.
What got me started on the profit thing is that I bred a pair of betta splendens. The issue is the fry take a while to be mature enough to sell at an interesting price (around 8 to 12 months) so I wanted to have running in the background other animals that grows quicker and are easier to take care of (betta fry take a lot of time) thus why I thought of shrimps and guppies, since I figured bettas could make more money at once but on a longer period, guppied and or shrimps would do less money but quicker. I am not looking to make this my primary job, just to gain some money with the hobby.
I know that for guppies you have to get strains to get people interested, but I don't really know much for the shrimps, so I was wondering if you guys would have some ideas and advice about what kind of shrimps I should try ? Also the tanks sizes etc etc
Thanks a lot have a nice day !

Sorry this is a bit of a long one but had to next somewhere and get people advice. My neighbours are crazy, always have been they are always doing extremely werid stuff but this weekend was the icing on the cake!! So I have a 13 year old daughter who is a typical teenager, just interested in her phone and her friends. This past weekend she had one of her friends round my house and around 12 o'clock there was this pounding on the door. I went to open it and there is my neighbour crying on my doorstep, so I ask if she is OK she then raises her voice saying 'I've heard your daughter talking about my daughter' (bearing in mind her daughter is a 30 year old woman). So I then ask my daughter if she has been talking about anyone next door. My daughter tells me 'no we (her and her friend) are playing a game on our phones'. The crazy woman then says 'yes you have I heard you upstairs' I then tell her that's impossible because they have been in the living room for the past 2 hours. She then proceeds to tell me it's been going on for months, she says my 13 year old daughter is obsessed with her adult daughter and has been saying everything she is doing ie going to the toilet, getting a shower, going down stairs and going in the garden (we have trees dividing the gardens so can't even see into there garden). We can't even hear them talk through the wall so how she thought my daughter could hear that I will never know. Bearing in mind her adult daughter doesn't even leave the house and my 13 year old has never seen her or even really knew she lived there. All this time she was raving at the door sobbing, going on and on about how my daughter is obsessed, I was staying calm and explained how my daughter doesn't care about her daughter. I then asked 'why would a 13 year old care what your adult daughter is doing' she then shouted at me that my daughter was nuts this is where I lost it and slammed the door in her face. Since then every night one of them keeps knocking and scratching the joining wall. It's a family of 4 the mother, father, adult son and adult daughter. I've only ever spoke to the mother (the one that came to my door) and only seen the father once. What should I do?? They are nuts and I don't want them to do anything to my daughter.

So near the end– while we only get half of a conversation I'm pretty sure we can come to some conclusions, of which Ame seems to have jumped to immediately. Indri is not an Ally. By the way it sounds, Mirara is the one who wants to end the World's Heart station, and wants it so eagerly that she jumped to it with confidence upon the first meeting.
As Indri mentioned, Mirara in her hastefulness failed to account that Hacaea wouldn't immediately jump to destroy the station of the World's Heart. Or, perhaps less that she wouldn't and more that Hacaea needed rest. She traveled all the way to the North Pole, is very old, and immediately upon arrival jumped into a Conclave Meeting.
But what's most intriguing to me was how malicious Indri was being. Almost as if she wanted the World's Heart station gone even more than Mirara, maybe? From what I can tell, Indri and Mirara are the strongest contenders for wanting the World's Heart to go. Some may say Grimore should be up there but I think their situation is a bit different.
From Ame's insight, the last thing she saw in Grimore before she left was fear. In context, what Grimore mentioned before hand was effectively, "you want all of us to fix your problems but we have our own" and with the idea and emotion of fear behind that, I believe this is an in for Ame to find an ally.
Here me out– I think Grimore's fear about what may be happening within her own station, that she's tagging along with Mirara and Indri's plan. We don't know where this fear stems from, exactly. We can guess for now.
There's a possibility that she's afraid of what the World's Heart station can do, and by extention she's afraid of Ame's latent power of being within her Station. I don't exactly think this is the case– but it's definitely possible.
There's the chance that's Grimore is afraid of any retribution from Mirara and/or Indri for not siding with them (which would explain as to why she immediately jumped with Mirara to try and destroy the station immediately) giving cause for the possibility that Grimore is afraid for her station as well. Almost like, if its not The World's Heart on trial to be destroyed, then
Finally it could be matters within Grimore's domain having turmoil within itself that she is putting on a fierce aggressive face to hide the fact that her station is vulnerable.
So what should Ame do? I think the smartest thing is to go to Grimore and explain that to destroy one station, another must go. And if Mirara and Indri are working together, that leaves Grimore and Hacaea as possible options to be destroyed. I think Ame should try to convince Grimore that her ferocity is a threat to Mirara and Indri, and that if they had a chance to destroy 2 birds with 1 stone, then that makes Grimore the most optimal choice to get rid of. If Ame can convince Grimore that she herself is at risk, all they have to do is keep that knowledge to themselves.
Grimore's passivity in this matter give Ame more of an argumentative edge. The moment everyone starts throwing daggers at each other, fighting that one station is more deserving to be destroyed, then eventually 3 can come together and agree on one to be destroyed with Ame, but if 2 are silent on the matter, resigned that no station should be destroyed; assuming Indri and Mirara wouldn't turn on each other, then unless Hacaea is willing to allow Grimore to be destroyed as wwell, it seems we may have an impass in which all 5 stations will continue.
Hacaea is definitely a wild card still, but it's better than Grimore being a loose cannon, throwing her power and weight around as she seems to want to do. I believe Ame must wrangle her to her side– to show a modicum of control, and suddenly Indri and Mirara lose a strong resource– their "fall guy."

Hello! I recently found this fine sub a few months ago. I've just lurked around for the most part, as I had to build up some courage to actually ask for something. I have come to you all today to kindly request the game Ready or Not. I know the game is quite expensive, but that's why I can't afford it myself lol.
What is Ready or Not?
Ready or Not is a tactical sim game where players become apart of an AI SWAT team in a fiction version of Los Angeles. You and your team unravel a mystery throughout the course of the game and the many locations it takes place in. You can customize your character and team to fit your playstyle, whether you want to go all lethal or pacifist.
Why do you want it?
I've always been a fan of tactical games, especially the Rainbow 6 series. But, since they aren't really making any new games in that series, I've been looking for something else to fill that space. And Ready or Not seems like the perfect game. It's a bit less super spies and more normal police tactical, which is great. The super-spies thing was the only part of R6 that I wasn't a huge fan of. I've been following Ready or Not since it's December release that added a campaign, something that I definitely want in any game I play.
Why can't I buy it myself?
Usually I'm not one to ask for stuff. If I could, I would just buy it myself and not bother any of you here. I seriously feel like I complainer who's whining about my life situation if I actually go in depth about it. So, rather than do that, I'll just say due to some unforeseen events that've happened, and just my general situation in life, I can't really afford games right now. Besides that, I hope that maybe in a few months time, hopefully not much more than that, I'll be able to pay it back to someone else here.
If you've got this far, thank you for your consideration and time, or just plain interest. I wish you luck if you're requesting as well, or just luck with life in-general if you aren't.
Link for game: https://store.steampowered.com/app/1144200/Ready_or_Not/
Link for profile: https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561199223351374/

I was groomed by an older woman (11 years older) who took me in like her own and even called me her daughter. I trusted her like she was my Mom. What drew me in to her was her ability to listen and ask deep questions and talk to me and that’s something that I feel like my adoptive mother never did. I craved a deeper relationship with my adoptive Mom but it just never happened as she never liked to go to deep with me. So when this woman came into my life after one of my babies passed away and she also had experienced loss of a baby I felt like we really clicked as friends. We could talk for hours. She claimed to have intuitive gifts and it really seemed like she did. She would always talk about how loving she was and her children seemed ultra loving . However I would later realize a darker side to her the narcissistic side that I saw but made excuses for due to her trauma and her past. She’d been sexually abused a lot. I had tons of compassion on her. But when I moved into her house due to a divorce that’s when things really started to come out, but it wasn’t all bad there were many times she’d comfort and nurture me. But I feel like she used this trust I had towards her to her advantage. She started expecting more and more of me, called me names , called me a liar and told me “she knows when I lie” (she always said this like she had special abilities ) I believed this until she started accusing me of doing all these this I didn’t do . When I would say “I’m done with this conversation” she’d have to one up me and say “no, I am”
I’m still trying to break out of my denial because my brain wants to cling to the loving things she did and ignore the bad.

Both including and excluding politics and polarisation. I’m talking about the day to day social trends — how good do you think Americans are doing on the parenting front? Are communities and communal responsibility good? Are the kids alright? Are the people getting better or worse?
I don’t want this to JUST be your feelings on Trump supporters because obviously we all know that. Let’s say for the sake of argument you’re assessing all of these things from within a blue state as well as nationally overall.

After many people have reached out to me personally following software bugs and other issues that have led to visa appointments not being upheld or visas being denied I have decided to see if anybody would be interested in holding them to account as a collective.
As a monopoly they have no reason to provide adequate service or to listen to customers. It makes no difference to them and you cannot "vote with your wallet/feet" as we often need visas regardless of how difficult they are to obtain or how expensive and there is no alternative company to apply through.
My personal backstory: Following a software fault that allowed me to book my appointment in Manchester, that TLSContact confirmed as "valid" 72hr before, the staff refused to see me in Manchester stating that my visa could only be processed in London.
As this was a blue card visa for moving to France permanently this led to loss of income and further damages to the tune of some thousands of pounds.
I sought a CCJ against the company and secured one. However I still have not yet received compensation many months later. They have sent threatening legal correspondence and if I didn't feel so incensed by the injustice being done to us all as visa applicants I would have settled for the measley half they offered me.
Their software fault has cleared me out financially and to take the money would have given me some respite, however, I'm still fighting because I believe the company should not be able to operate and exist in the state it is - however it does simply because it is a monopoly gating access to a good (visas) that have inelastic demand.
The dispute I have primarily focuses on the lack of acknowledgement of the impact of their software issue and complete failure to take any steps to remedy the situation at any point thus leading to excessive damages. I had no power to change the situation and had to just eat all the losses.
They could have offered me a fast track service, they could have offered to fill in the visa form again during the appointment so it could be processed. They could have offered me a refund. They could have done a million things but this does not fit with the company's business model as a monopoly who makes money from us failing, making it easier for us to fail and then requiring we repay and resubmit an application.
There is no doubt in my mind that TLSContact is part of dystopian future of profiteering from "computer says no" culture that will only become more impenetrable and difficult as AI becomes more widely trusted as the "source of truth" over and above human common sense.
Consequently, I am looking to muster collective action against the company - serious action where we lie within the law. Make them take notice of us. Make others take notice of us making them take notice of us.
I already have a case brewing personally and the more who join me the stronger we are. Who knows, we might bring about change.
We can take a collective legal case to them. We can drum up a media storm. We can protest in person. We can protest online. We can review bomb. We can take political action and move to a change in the law by contacting politicians.
If you have been wronged by this company please reach out.
If you have experience in this sort of collective action please also reach out with advice.
If you have contacts in law, politics, journalism also please reach out.
Even if you have not been wronged personally by TLSContact in terms of substantiative damages but understand the frustration of having to wait 2 weeks for an automated vapid email response, spend 2 hours on the phone to poor customer service, have felt their website was unduly convoluted or designed to trip you up please also get involved!
We can bring about change if we work together and not allow this sort of bullying and abuse of power take place.

This is a crossover fanfiction between original fiction titles: Nature of Predators by SpacePaladin15 and The Last Angel by Proximal Flame respectively. All credit and rights reserved goes to them for making such amazing science fiction settings that I wanted to put this together.
You can read The Last Angel here: Be warned, it's decently long, and at its third installment so far. I highly suggest reading it before reading this, or this story will not make sense.

Otherwise, enjoy the story! Thanks again to u/jesterra54 and u/skais01 for beta and checking of work!
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Memory transcription subject: Captain Sovlin, Federation Fleet Command
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
What I was doing was risky.
I kept thinking this, as I prepared to spring the idea I worked on. I had Samantha and Carlos look into acquiring a shuttlecraft, for the purposes of infiltrating Aafa. It took a day and a half longer than the UN's initial start date, but I promised them it was worth it. They believed that, and set to work on getting one through their few Venlil resources in the UN. Now that it was in my hands, I was on a trip to Aafa, alone, with no backup or human handlers to my name. They believed I wasn't a flight risk...a mistake on their part, but in a way, I was still performing their goal.
I was still suspicious of Federation governance, even before the humans took stage on the galactic scene. The Sivkit's refugee crisis turnaway, the Krakotl's military extortionate practice, the Federation was full of shady characters who ought to be exposed. I was even working on a source towards what I thought was frivolous and mismanaged Kolshian military spending budgets, but it was interrupted by the human's arrival, and I had set it to the wayside.
Though, neither of those were supposedly leaked by 'me'. Cilany was the one who put it into proper public eye, even if I was her source...
How I wish I could have her here with me, her sharp skill for coercion and interrogation of valuable info in interrogation and interview alike. But the colony she was on was under siege by the Arxur, who struck while the Federation fleet had gone to Earth. All the more fuel for the fire of my suspicions...
I could only hope that Cilany, and by extension the rest of the people there would hold out despite their actions against the humans. None deserved the Arxur thrust upon them.
It would have been far too risky to try and stop by a planet under siege by the Arxur. I would be, at best, blown to smithereens without hesitation, and at worst...eugh...don't think about it, don't think about it!
Plus, I didn't want to give any human assets an idea on my plans currently. I was already going behind their back on this, betraying their trust on this front.
If my hunch is correct, then the Arxur might be coordinating with them, and by extension, feeding info about Federation homeworlds back in their twisted little game. Seeing me pop up in a report would turn heads.
I'm sorry Humanity, but this is for your own good. You cannot trust the Arxur, and the only way we can prevent your manipulation by their Dominion is through convincing a proper attack on them from the Greater Commonwealth.
But now, I found myself on a course to Aafa, alone, all on my lonesome, seeking to do something akin to Noah, but to the most powerful person in the galaxy one-on-one...Nikonus. I felt my ability to pull rank and my reputation would precede me better than the predatory reception of humanity, even though they didn't deserve it. This was a pragmatic decision, not an emotional one…
The trip was not very eventful, roughly [6 days] one way in a ship with as underpowered of a FTL drive as this, but I was trying to sell an infiltration mission, not a courier one. I wouldn't have my claws on anything top-of-the-line for speed in a shuttle. But as my ship hit disruptor fields in-system, and I got a ping from Gunships asking for classic hailing codes, intent to visit, and the like, I sent a message that likely would have shocked their crew.
"This is Captain Sovlin of Federation Fleet Command. I have escaped human custody, and need to request an audience with Nikonus."
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Memory transcription subject: Chief Nikonus of the Kolshian Commonwealth
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
I walked the outer rungs of the capital gardens, looking for relief to the mounds of bureaucratic paperwork back in-office. A good walk could clear ones mind of most stresses every now and then, and given the circumstances nowadays, I think a longer one is in order.
The Affliaf blooms are quite vibrant today. That's a good omen, for what it's worth...
With the state of the galaxy in a comprehensive deadlock over what to do with humanity, I had to take to some under-the-table talks with Nishtal's military. While the Kolshian Commonwealth was not publically for humanity's invitation into the Federation, they were clearly vocal that they did not wish for the problem to be removed, so to speak. And so, I had to get my tentacles dirty planting seeds of inspiration to some military leaders in and around the Krakotl Alliance. They, thankfully took the predator threat as seriously as they ought to, and mobilized to rid ourselves of the pests.
It should have simply ended there. Humanity should have been exterminated, status quo restored, the whole cropland tilled. But no, a fleet of twenty-thousand failed to even kill a fledgling space-faring species like humanity! Even with the Venlil Space Corps on their side, the battle should have been a wash! And the worst part, was that the true believers on Venlil Prime were giving me garbage intelligence on the matter.
'A ship of unknown origin swooped in and saved humanity? One that was unheard of up to this point'? No, a wad of ectolan spulk, there was no chance it was humanity keeping something in reserve that could even the tide! They likely were feeding false data to their allies, the manipulative little apes. No, humanity being saved stunk of the Dominion's play, and that was worrisome.
Did Giznel and his lackeys go back on our deal, seeing blood in the water? I knew we groomed a deal out of Betterment that'd give them all the wrong ideas...
Needless to say, I had to now figure out where to start on approaching them and confirming our deal was still on the table, and to cease and desist assistance with humanity at once. If they didn't want to play ball anymore, we'd have to consider some Shadow Fleet excursions to pave a path for a public route to invasion. That would change the whole dynamic of the Federation's control structures, and was absolutely not the path this great galactic Commonwealth should go.
So now, I am stuck in a dilemma. Do I assume Giznel and the Dominion are still in on the deal, and haven't made allies with humanity in the backdrop, or do I take the only opportunity we get, and start mounting an offensive while the Dominion's unprepared.
Decisions, decisions...
Not long into my musings, an aide contacted me over holo-prompt. Odd, I didn't have anything scheduled this soon, and central planning proceedings weren't set to start up again until the following day, what was it?...
"Chief Nikonus. There's been a development on the outer edge of the system. Bulwark Patrol states that a shuttlecraft of Venlil-make warped in, one individual alone on scans. They identified itself as Captain Sovlin, seeking refuge from human captivity."
Oh dear. That's not anything I could have expected. The last thing I need right now is more complications...but that wording...
"Why hasn't he been boarded and processed yet? I am hardly the first authority to come to for a asylum dispute."
"He asked for you specifically, your graciousness. Said to request an audience with utmost urgency."
"Is that so?...Hmm." I am currently free of responsibilities for a solid chunk of time. While I did not know Sovlin personally, his record spoke for himself. If he truly was escaping human custody, it was likely he found something out about them that they shared by accident, not knowing he wasn't loyal to them.
If he's come here for the reason I think he might've, there's a very real chance...
"Send him my way as soon as possible then. He's lucky I can spare an audience now."
...that said opportunity has just walked itself right into my garden.
Memory transcription subject: Captain Sovlin, Federation Fleet Command
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
There was thankfully little fanfare or media attention in bringing my shuttle in. The decision to come alone clearly disarmed their initial worries of human sympathizing or terrorist actions, and soon enough, I found myself amongst an escort of soldiers to Aslou's government district.
I had been to Aafa various times throughout my life. In my tenure as captain, you tend to visit the homeworlds of the larger species at least once in a lifetime, if not several. Most times were not very exciting or noteworthy...but this time, the visit felt downright off.
The gardens were as beautiful as ever, but there were little walking them. The Songbedas were oddly quiet, making an unsettling atmosphere. The population out in the outer and medial rungs of the city split to make way for my escort, as if expecting trouble on their doorstep should they draw attention.
Given what happened with humanity, I wouldn't put it past them. Why is it so...empty?
It was forced to be pushed aside as we finally reached the inner rings of the Capitol Spire. A gleam ran up into the heavens, and a sequence of block outcroppings spun around the structure, green architecture patterns spiraled up and up. It was a beautiful idol of the dedication of megalithic engineering and urban planning of the Kolshian Commonwealth. Under any other circumstances, I would have once felt comfortable walking under its shadow, but now I felt only unease at being in its monolithic shade.
Across from us, not far up the steps leading to the Capitol Spire, was Nikonus and his guards. They were clearly waiting for me. Nikonus looked pleased to see me, somehow. Was there no clear indicator...?
Does he trust my cover?
"Captain Sovlin, your reputation precedes you! I could have sworn you were interred so deep you weren't getting out. Yet, you say you broke out?"
Here goes nothing. Make it believable, Sovlin...
"I...yes, your graciousness. After I was imprisoned on Venlil Prime, the humans kept trying to get me to turn on the Federation. They were convincing, but my loyalties ultimately lie in this government, Chief Nikonus." I put my chest into the last bit of the statement, trying to give emphasis.
He seemed to mull on that for a split second, before he made a gesture to follow him. "We may talk more about your escape inside. I assume what you have meant to say to me is not for public ears?" He glanced about, subtly tilting his head out at the few gathered crowds out and about Aslou's Capitol District. Given how open and flat the area was, with the slightest elevation, you could practically see for [kilometers].
He was right on that. My suspicions would not be for the general public to hear, lest it cause a panic. "Yes. It would not do for the media to run wild with. It could cause unrest."
The Kolshian's eyes seemed to glint at that. "On that, you and I can agree. Come, to my offices." Him and his troop started up the stairs, and I followed soon after, my 'escorts' following closely behind. I could not yet tell whether I was actually in good trust with Chief Nikonus, or whether he was playing up the kindly elder act. Politicians were always shifty like that...
We walked a long way, took several lifts to reach the original Kolshian suites of the Capitol Spire. Passing through halls of elaborate aquatic decor, and indoor habitats, we approached our destination: Chief Nikonus' personal office.
He waved away all but two guards to stand outside the office, as we walked in. As he sat down, and the door closed, the visual look of the Kolshian shifted. His old, elderly demeanor sharpened to a politics-honed edge. The tone of the room felt far more off.
"I hope you know how much your position here is troubling, Sovlin." His voice had none of the kindness it held before. In its place, laid a piercing tone of seriousness. "If I'm anticipating right, you came here with distinctly bad news, given the state of galactic politics and military scuffles. That is...if I can even trust your story at all." He got up from his chair in a way that betrayed none of his age from before, and began to pace.
Or was his earlier light hobbling also just a disarming act?
"I mean really, you mean to tell me you turned yourself in to humanity for 'crimes against sentience', and then go back on your self-inflicted punishment? All so you could come to Aafa to let me know of something I'm already decently certain I know of before you even tell me? Your loyalty in question is a mind game Sovlin. I do not appreciate mind games. You'd best get to your point quickly and succinctly."
There was a chilling quality to that statement. I did not want to see what lied on the end of that thinly veiled threat.
A hitch came to my throat, but I pushed through the discomfort. "I...Chief Nikonus...I do not revoke my feelings about humanity's sentience, but neither do I revoke my faith in the Federation's dream. Despite their predator biology, they are capable of empathy and care for things outside what we'd consider stereotypical predatory behavior. They still deserve a chance at being within the galactic community, of being part of the Federation; no matter what preconceptions are of predators, they are clearly different. But, there's something we distinctly missed about humanity, and I think the Arxur are making an attempt to exploit it."
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Memory transcription subject: Chief Nikonus of the Kolshian Commonwealth
Date [standardized human time]: October 24, 2136
"You've seen the empathy tests, right?" Sovlin mentioned. Of course I had, it was only the thing that had kept me from having their ambassador Noah shot on the spot, where was he going with this?
"Yes, I have. Are you saying there isn't empathy for them?"
"No, Chief Nikonus. They are just as empathic as before. The problem is in how they use it. If a protective instincts in herbivore's is to block the danger from the person, then a predator's instincts is to remove the danger."
Huh?
"I'm not seeing the problem here, Sovlin. Aggression versus protection is a choice all sentients can make, even if one is uncouth for most herbivores to make."
But my rebuttal didn't shake his look any. No, there was mortification interwoven throughout it still.
"Follow with me here, still. The human's empathic desires to latch onto anything as a companion is an odd case, but a documented one. They are looking for friends among the cosmos, and given the first thing they found was the Venlil, they took to them immediately. When they found the Federation, they too attempted to befriend us. And over the Cradle, despite our best efforts to dissuade them, they were curious of the Arxur too. I would know, I was there."
Hmm, so the humans have been making some attempt at contacting The Dominion. Given their Prophet's Word, and their temperament for predators, they likely would act receptive if given some chance. More fuel to the fire...
I motioned him on further. "They...interrogated a Arxur above the cradle. They told them of how Federation first contact went; how the Arxur were starved by the Federation releasing a bioweapon, and how it lead them into conflict during the uplift."
I walked over to my desk, and sat down. My tentacle hovered over a concealed sidearm underneath the lip, just in case. "And...did you believe what that Arxur said was true, Sovlin?..."
Sovlin sighed in denial. "No, your graciousness...but I'm afraid...the humans do." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he talked. "The Arxur have picked up on a weakness we didn't see, Chief Nikonus. Likely due to them being predators themselves. They know humanity is a pack predator, so they're seeking to manipulate the humans onto their side using their empathy."
I brought my tentacles away from the gun while I considered, because this was only meaning one thing.
Those bastards ARE going back on the deal! Sovlin, your loyalty has just saved me a world of hurt...
But before I could get a word in edgewise, he continued. "They are using the empathy the humans latch on with to some effect. Given the choice between a galaxy that shuns and tries to kill their species, and a fellow predator lending a claw in the interim, why would they pick anything but the Arxur? Why wouldn't they pick self-preservation?"
Sovlin looked at me with a worried face. I shared in the worry too, the long-term survival of the Federation was unraveling from the worst case scenario. "The humans might be coaxed into cruelty as bad as the Arxur because of that. We missed how their empathy was their bloodlust. And now the Arxur are here to collect on our mistakes."
This is bad. While we had some agreement beforehand with the Dominion, the human's existence on the galactic stage changes the game. The Dominion would look to seek true control of everything, rather than just playing even with us. The [Prisoner's Dilemma] is broken.
...But there is still a solution. And Sovlin proved himself loyal enough to help with it.
I turned back to him, trying to assuage his worries. "Sovlin, while this is very bad news, there is a solution that the galaxy isn't considering here."
Sovlin piped up. "Yes. We'd need to form an intense first strike on Wriss itself, to devastate the head of their government, and collapse their attempts to indoctrinate humanity. Humanity might protest, but it would be for their own good that the Arxur fails to get their claws on them. From there, we can try to reestablish friendly connections, even as strained and painful as they are..."
Oh, you poor naive fool Sovlin. Don't worry, there is a better way.
I enabled a soundproofing field interladen in the walls of my office, for what came next was sensitive. "Not...quite Captain Sovlin, a good plan, and one that will be considered soon. But...what if I told you, there was a way to remove that fellow predator’ link?..."
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In the past year I’ve had some very profound experiences and learned things that have me fully convinced Catholicism is the truth and since then I cannot ignore Catholicism and have decided to imitate the Catholic life to the best of my ability until I can start RCIA later this year and then get baptized next year.
There’s just one problem, the whole no sex before marriage thing. It feels almost impossible in modern society and it feels like I’m missing out and that I’m a sucker
The worst part about it to me, is that I feel like I’m the only one voluntarily doing this as a young person and wasting my youth.
I even have seen interviews with priests who mention “oh, oh, I dated around a little bit before I became a priest!”, as if it’s a point of pride for them even though they’re against sex before marriage. Like, even somewhat respectable older Catholics just have to let us all know, with glee, that they did sleep around in their youth back in the day, I swear they say it with pride and I just know they would do it again if they could turn back time and were young again. The only priest I know that I respect at this point is a certain one who died like 30 years ago, born in the 1920s, who said in an interview I watched on YouTube that he had never even been to a dance before, let alone dated. Good for him for actually walking the talk. Also-
Now this is going to sound a bit messed up and maybe this is Satan talking through me but I just have to say it - another demoralizing thing about not having sex before marriage for me is that most of the (very few) young men who I see truly remaining celibate and waiting until marriage for sex just…they just don’t look like they have a choice in the matter lol. Lord I’m sorry, forgive me, but so many of them just look so nerdy or short or have low emotional intelligence or just look bad - and it’s pretty clear that literally none of these dudes were getting any women nor could they even get women if they tried, so to be honest they’re not even giving anything up if we’re being real here. I’m good looking, over 6 feet, constantly randomly approached by pretty women unlike them yet still I turn them down (I know this sounds prideful). I believe a lot of these men would fold and have sex if they were in my situation. I actually have far more respect for women who remain virgin until marriage since almost all young women are courted or approached somewhat often.
Let’s be honest - if you slept around in your youth then you don’t get to talk about remaining virgin until marriage, period. 99% of those people would do it again if they were 18-25 again. We young people simply don’t care what you have to say about sex if you slept around before marriage. I just can’t take you seriously and believe that you are a hypocrite. You don’t get to get sleeping around out of your system and then once you get married turn around and start yapping at younger people not to do it, sorry. But if you actually stayed celibate until marriage, you have my respect.
I also keep thinking about that Bible verse in Ecclesiastes that says not to be too righteous and drive yourself insane
I feel like I’m literally the only young man in America doing this celibacy thing by CHOICE and I pray that my future wife is amazing to make up for this. Anyone else relate? I know a lot of people will hate me for this post but I had to get it off my chest

I was asked if I wanted to move to a different role at my workplace. It's a different type of work (completely written/desk work, whereas I usually do a mix), and different responsibilities to what I usually do, for the same pay.
I know for a fact I would hate that work, and so even though I did chat with them and hear them out anyway, I said no.
It came up later when me and my partner were chatting about our day, and he got upset and said that I should have waited till I came home and talked to him to make any sort of decision because we're a couple and should make decisions togethetalk through important decisions.
I don't see why it matters, because I never had any intention of taking it, and it doesn't affect us as a couple financially/doesn't impact him at all. It would be different if I accepted a job that had a pay cut or was in a different country or something.
But he says it doesn't matter whether I intended to take it or not, I still should have spoken to him.
I apologised anyway but I still don't understand tbh.
Are you supposed to always talk to your partner first about things like that?

I (41F) live in Montana and a few years ago I was forced to relocate after my landlord decided to rent to her son. The community I had lived in for 11.5 years has become incredibly expensive ($787,000 median home price). Unfortunately, I was forced to relocate to another city and because of the unexpected move and associated costs, I moved in with a roommate. My roommate left to pursue better job prospects about three months after I moved in. Our unit was a triplex, so there were two gentlemen that inhabited the other units. I was never added to the lease as the property manager required a full deposit and I was not in a financially healthy spot at the time. I remained in the unit for 1.5 years on my own paying the rent and utilities.
I became very good friends with the man in the unit closest to mine. We will call the man Devin (52M). Devin was a disabled veteran in recovery. I also am a veteran, so he held a soft spot in my heart. We shared meals, hung out and discussed all of life’s mysteries, and would look out for one another. Devin had gone to treatment for 6-weeks, and I had watched his cat while he was gone. Our friendship developed over the course of 1.5 years. Devin had expressed romantic interest; however, right from the beginning I clearly informed Devin that I did not share those feelings and we would never be more than good friends.
Devin seemed to be lonely, which made sense; however, I am a person who requires alone time to recharge my batteries. I set strict boundaries for Devin as he wanted to hang out all of the time. I would catch him walking through the front yard multiple times a day to “get the mail,” which I believed was to see if I was outside so he could stop to chat. When I would leave in the morning to go to work, Devin was always outside to tell me I looked nice and to have a good day. I told him that made me feel uncomfortable and he should just send a text letting me know if he wanted to hang out and wait for a response. There were a couple of times I yelled at him for overstepping my boundaries. The first, I had just got home and pulled into my garage. I was on a phone call and had stayed in the car, Devin looked through the garage window to see if I was home. I was annoyed but didn’t really think much of it. The second, I was getting dressed in my room in the Summer, so the window was cracked. I felt this was safe as the window was not in a place that anyone should be walking by as it was on my patio at the back of the home. I caught Devin peeking through. I lost it. I let Devin know under no uncertain terms his behavior was inappropriate and that if he didn’t respect my boundaries, we would no longer be friends.
Last year, while I was still in the home, I had asked Devin to watch my dog for a couple of days so I could go to a family event out of state. Devin was happy to help, and I was very appreciative. Not long after I returned, I started to notice strange things in my home, but I really just thought it was me. For instance, I would be fairly certain I had locked my door in the morning when I left for work, but when I returned it would be unlocked. I would be sure I had shut off all the lights, but when I got home in the evening, one would be on. I really just thought it was absentmindedness.
Fast forward a couple of months, and my mom became sick with cancer. My sister watched my dog while I went to tend to my mom. My sister reached out to me and asked if anyone else had a key to my apartment. I let her know she had the only spare key but asked why. Similarly, she had experienced the same issues with lights and locks. I had not shared my concerns with my sister prior to her communicating hers with me as I really just doubted my own sanity. While I was out of town, I received a text message from Devin asking if I had a potato he could borrow. I let him know I was out of state with my mom who was sick. Devin did not reply, which was out of character, but I had noticed a change in Devin’s affect – he was more reserved and less friendly towards me. I thought it probably had to do with my firm adherence to my boundaries, which was okay. He didn’t have to like them, just respect them.
When I got back to town, one night I stayed over at my sister's house after helping her move. As mentioned above, I was struggling financially, so I would carefully budget and plan my weekly meals. The morning before my sister’s move, I had placed three pieces of bacon into a Ziploc bag to be used later for a BLT. When I returned the following morning, much to my disbelief, there were only two pieces of bacon. I held the bag in my hands KNOWING that there had been three. No longer did I doubt myself. I called my sister and let her know that someone had been getting into my house (I ALWAYS) keep the place locked. The only logical thing that could have happened is Devin made a copy of my key when he had watched my dog in the Fall. My sister reminded me about the potato text – THE POTATO IN THE COUNTER BASKET WAS GONE!
I had enough information to be certain my neighbor had violated my trust and was no friend; however, I still wasn’t afraid of him. As I mentioned, he is a disabled vet and was somewhat feeble and sickly. I was not scared of a confrontation. I immediately went to the hardware store and purchased a camera that steams to your phone once the motion detector has been activated. I placed it facing the side door where Devin would enter. It also had two-way audio capability so my plan was that when Devin decided to enter my home again, I would see it and say over the camera something to the effect of, “get the fuck out of my house, put the key you copied on the counter, and never try to speak with me again or I will contact law enforcement.” As I wrote above, I was not on the lease, and did not want to be homeless, so I could not turn to the property manager for help and Devin knew it.
In the evenings, I started placing a jug of cat litter and a kitchen chair in front of the door that I knew Devin was accessing the apartment from, but I NEVER expected he would attempt to come in while I was at home and really, he had only taken a piece of uncooked bacon and a potato. Laying on the couch one night, watching TV, I thought that I had heard something sliding on the floor in the laundry room where the door was; but I knew there was no way he would come in while I was home. My cat was running around playing, so I decided it was probably just her and I was being paranoid because of all that had happened.
The next morning, while changing my laundry, I noticed the litter and chair had been pushed 3-4 inches. I checked the sensitivity of the camera and found that I was able to replicate by slowly opening the door. DEVIN TRIED TO COME IN WHILE I WAS HOME! WHY?! That morning, I took bear spray into the shower with me while my knees knocked. I was terrified. I felt vulnerable and violated. Devin knew that I knew now also. He knew that I had placed a barrier in front of the door. After that morning, he was never outside in the morning, nor did he walk through the yard to get his mail. I obtained a firearm for protection and did make a police report. The police officer was annoyed with me as I did not want him to approach Devin as all Devin would need to do is report me to the property manager and I would be homeless.
I am grateful that whatever he was up to was apparently thwarted. The fact that he tried to come in while he knew I was home gives me the heebie-jeebies. I wonder if he went through my underwear, watched me while I slept, etc. Since, my situation has greatly improved. I ended up moving out shortly after to take care of my mom. I got my own place again a few months ago. I will never put my trust in another neighbor for pet/house sitting again. It still blows my mind that I had some douche bag stealing from and likely stalking me. This story just solidifies one should always trust their gut. There were so many times that a red flag was screaming, and I just thought I was being crazy.

TDLR: Ex texted a bestfriend behind my back ending of last year ruining the friendship. Broke up with her, during that time I rekindled with someone else while occasionally texting my ex still not back together. Felt like I missed the warmth of my ex and dropped the new girl going back to my ex fully beginning of this year. Missed the support and love from my ex that I never truly got. Girl told me ex about our dirty laundry, causing trust issues in the whole relationship. Tried fixing them by removing girls, sharing location, etc. I felt scared my ex is gonna get revenge and started being distant at the end which pushed her away as well. We broke up begging of May this year. I thought we would get back together as always, found out she’s been adding guys she removed a long time ago. I got upset and texted her ugly nasty shit, and texted her dad saying his daughter is a sl*t childish. I thought by doing this I’d move on quicker, he told me I’m childish and to leave them alone. I understand I fucked up if I received a text like this from a a daughters ex I’d be fuming. I want to apologize to the parents for the lack of character I had but feel like it’s too late to backtrack on the stupid shit I said. Am I being selfish by sending a text?
Hello all, This is gonna be long. I really appreciate anyone who takes time to read and help with some words. I have no therapist or friends this seems like the best option.
I have never posted on here but seriously feel torn up. I know that I have been in the wrong in all this but I truly was dealing with a weed addiction till I finally sobered up and realized how fucked I am. This relationship has been a rollercoaster, but something I didn’t want to get off. She showed me many first things and it was my longest relationship of three years. She cared for me when I had no job, to every job, skinny fat, etc and I did the same with her struggles. To make a long story short back in August of 2023 I found my ex texting one of my bestfriends that worked with her at the time(I had quit that spot and found another job). No lust or crazy texts just work laughing but I confronted her about it it was jealousy and she said it was nothing.
After a few weeks come September I kept feeling this jealousy boil over. If she had texted anybody else I wouldn’t have said much but I felt like cause it was MY friend she should have brought up the convo they had even if it was light and funny. I was pestering her about him, she then decided to text him behind my back saying I’m being jealous. They text back and forth and he’s calling me a kid and disrespecting me even though he’s known me for longer, and she was laughing sending him laughing emojis and stuff. He then texted me asking me to fight because somehow she told him I threatened him. I got pissed she ruined a friendship and told her I’m done blocked her on everything. From September to December 2023 I was all alone focused on work and meeting new people. In December I rekindled with a girl I knew no feelings just stupid lust. While talking to the new girl, my ex sends me a heartfelt email since I had blocked her on everything, saying she’s sorry and understands I don’t want to hear from her but wishes me the best. I softened up and began texting her here and there, but still was talking to the new girl.
After a while in Jan/Feb 2024 I met with the girl I had rekindled with and we had done some things. However during this time I started seriously missing my ex and the way I felt comfortable around her. So I was talking to my ex again fully and wanted to make it work again. The problem came when my ex wanted to visit me since she’s long distance. She flew all the way to me and everything was good, till that new girl decided she wasn’t getting my attention anymore and texted my ex lying to her telling her I was begging for her etc. My ex broke down and asked why and I childishly said because of what she had done by texting my bestfriend and that we weren’t together. She cried in my arms and I balled with her cause I truly didn’t want to hurt this girl like this. I offered her to leave me and understood I fucked up. But to my surprise she wanted to stay and asked to fix our trust. I tried my hardest to fix it, I gave her my social passwords, she had my location, everything she wanted she got, even removed all girl friends to gain trust and she removed guys. However after some time around March 2024 I felt like all that I did wasn’t building up that trust again, and I began having flashbacks to trauma where I got left and cheated on within a week. I felt like my ex got back with me to seek revenge. So I started pushing her away scared.
During April she came again to visit me and booked a flight without asking me to pay or anything and genuinely asked to spend every minute of the day with me. I should have taken her coming to see me without me asking as her sign of true love but I ignored it.
Beginning of May 2024 came and our problems began. I started seeing her go out with friends to bars, even to houses I didn’t know and she would take a little longer to respond. I began thinking something is up due to my trauma and started being distant with her. She kept asking me to stop doing this, and cried a few times but I was truly scared of behind hurt and thought by being distant I’m protecting myself. She told me this once and it’s stuck with me “you’re gonna regret doing this”. After that convo she became cold with me too to the point where I didn’t even know who she was anymore. Our final convo was May10. We argued on the phone, and she blamed me for everything, I brought my ex bestfriend and her and how they hurt me she said she had already apologized and I said I did too for cheating but I knew what I did hurt more. She told me to leave her tf alone that I haven’t been the man she needs saying she’s seen better guys treat gfs better etc. That she wants time alone that she wouldn’t go around like I did with girls fucking randoms guys. I blocked her but I genuinely thought we would breakup and get back together as always.
However a week passed and I heard nothing. For some reason I felt like I deserved an apology cause during our arguments I was being more respectful and it felt like she kept saying stuff on purpose to hurt me. I saw she had logged onto my socials and I locked her out and logged out of her accounts cause I felt like it was better. However I was still stalking her Instagram following number and began seeing it go up fast. I started getting guys being suggested to me that follow her and I noticed it was all guys she used to work with and removed for “trust”. I felt broken cause it felt like she did what my first ex with the trauma did , just move on within a week. I felt sad, but the sadness turned to anger. I thought by burning bridges I could move on quicker. And I began blowing her up with calls to no answer, so I switched to texting and said some of the most heinous shit I’ve said to anyone. I then texted her mom telling her her daughter got a new type being childish but nothing too disrespectful to the mom. I texted the dad however and called his daughter names, which he got back at me with a threat and called me childish and that he’s happy his daughter isn’t with someone like me and to lose their numbers. I said lmao cool being even more childish.
I genuinely felt bad the same day I texted the parents this. I felt like bringing them into childish arguments and saying what I said made me look like a true child which I try not to be fast in situations but I was impatient and dumb. I felt like I was the one being stubborn in the relationship and pushed her away, then got upset when she did walk away I just didn’t appreciate her at the end and it hurts my soul I’ve felt this heaviness on my chest ever since like I lost the person for me. I know blaming it on the weed is childish but I feel like it game me that I don’t give a F feeling till it bit me in the ass. I spoke to my only friend and my parents who didn’t even accept the relationship at first due to culture, but they told me I had fucked up and told me with time they will heal, and that in time I can send a message to the parents if I wanted to to get my conscious clear and be able to move on with a better image.
Is it smart to reach back out to the parents to show respect as an adult or just let them be? I know this was a lot but it’s on my heart and brain everyday since. A part of me says apologize in the hopes of getting this girl back one day which I know is selfish, the bigger part of me just hates the image I left of myself cause I have never left a relationship in this manner

So this post is for any of my fellow men who don’t get the whole Man Or Bear thing. Want to clear up some stuff as some men might still not understand and also I have some men pushing disinformation about it so want to counter that
When women choose bear they are not saying ALL men are worse then a bear. They know it’s not all men, some even have good men in their lives who they would much rather encounter in a forest then a bear. In the hypothetical it’s a male stranger, and not every man who has ever harmed a woman has made their intentions clear from the get go. Even if chances are the average man wouldn’t do anything women cannot know this just upon encountering a man. And this isn’t just a male stranger on a public street, this is the woods ie an isolated area, no witnesses, could be difficult to find help if they needed it
Also it’s a hypothetical, it’s a tool to get men to be curious as to why the world is so unsafe for women that they would even consider choosing the bear. So try not to get hung up on the superficial message, it’s the meaning behind it which is important
They also know bears can be deadly or even fatal. They know bears have big claws and teeth. But it’s an animal, it’s going to go off its instincts. If a man wants to hurt a woman he’s doing it because he chooses too, there’s no need, and that’s scarier.
The man can also do a wider range of horrible things to a woman then a bear can ie rape, sexual assault, kidnapping. So maybe the quality of negative things a bear varies from opinion to opinion to another but the quantity Definitely leans more towards men
Even if a man doesn’t have a weapon, on average we are bigger and stronger than women, this gives us a greater capability of violence. Even if we choose not too, the capability exists. That’s scary for women, knowing it would be difficult to fight us off if we chose to harm them
And it’s this capability that is one of the reasons why comparing women’s fear of men to something like racism is a false equivalency
And there are things we can do as men to change this. We can call out other men be it in our lives or online, we can spread awareness about women’s issues, we can ask women if there’s any way we can make their lives safer. We can show them that there are men actually hearing what they are saying and want to help. The responsibility should not just fall on women because they are the victims.
Plus, sometimes men are more receptive to ideas when they hear it from a man. We can improve society and because we are capable of it, it is expected
Listen to women when they talk about their lived experiences and their reality. We are never going to fully understand because we don’t live their lives but we can understand more!
So yeah. That’s what Man Or Bear is about. The issue of male violence against women. You want to talk about anything else, make your own post or comment on a relevant one. Show you actually care about the issue, otherwise can just seem like you bringing other issues into it can just seem like someone is trying to derail the conversation or disingenuously to score points
Might do a longer post at some point but hope this post was helpful
If anyone has genuine questions I will try and answer

Hey! It's a calm evening here, I'm just listening to music right now. Do you have any recommendations for a nostalgic early summer evening? Something that invokes these feelings?
But, who am I? Well, I'd say I'm creative! I act (I have got a leading role to a play recently!), but I also like to write (I'm writing a book) and my biggest passion is photography! Besides that I like to travel, read, cook and bake, learn new things, cycle, swim and run and a whole lot more. I am practicing chess, learning to edit videos and make music, practicing guitar and even more! I value learning new things and getting to know new experiences - so it would be great if you're similar.
I also like taking care of myself with mindfulness, skin care and good cups of tea. I like being outside, exploring and educating myself on a variety of topics, for example: Technology, privacy, urban planning, history, aviation, politics, culture,... I also enjoy going to theatre, classical concerts, ballet, opera and all kinds of museums and galleries!
I'll end it here for now - I hope you have a fantastic day and I'm looking forward to hearing from you! If you need an ice breaker: What would you say is the best thing about yourself?

hey everyone! way back when i first started my bass transcription channel on YT (@justsomebasslines) and was struggling to find an audience, bass gave me a nice bump, so i thought i'd make a post about a series i started a while back called Jamerson Tuesdays. at over 80 songs and counting, i have to imagine this is now the most extensive collection of JJ transcriptions on the internet (though i'd be happy to be proven wrong...!)
i see a lot of discussion about Jamerson here and anywhere bass is discussed, but i always see people mentioning the same handful of lines, so (for my benefit, mostly) i wanted to get to know some of the deep cuts and hidden gems among the thousands of songs he recorded. so, if you like Jamerson and have done the famous songs, i hope this playlist will introduce you to some really great lines you might not have known about :) there are also quite a few beginner-friendly lines in there, for anyone wanting to start learning the elements of the JJ style early!
the full playlist is here: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlWVbcKsYeBpcMjQrXG4815AsGzkXlFuv&si=tIHoMFL1Fpms2EFb
as always, i can't claim either the transcriptions or the playing are mistake-free (especially the playing, but i do my best - and no, i don't play everything with one finger... sorry purists!), but i think the transcriptions are quite solid on the whole.
i hope that if any of this is helpful and/or you're interested in getting to know more obscure Jamerson lines, you'll consider subscribing to the channel :)
here's the full list of what's available so far:
Bill Withers - Family Table
Bonnie Pointer - Heaven Must Have Sent You
Buddy Miles - All The Faces
Chris Clark - Good Morning Sunshine
Chuck Jackson - Honey Come Back
Chuck Jackson - The Day My World Stood Still
David Ruffin - Put A Little Love In Your Heart
Deborah Washington - Ready or Not
Diana Ross - Ain't No Mountain High Enough
Diana Ross - Something On My Mind
Diana Ross & Marvin Gaye - My Mistake (Was To Love You)
Diana Ross & Marvin Gaye - Stop, Look, Listen (To Your Heart)
Diana Ross & The Supremes - Can't Shake It Loose
Diana Ross & The Supremes - How Long Has That Evening Train Been Gone
Diana Ross & The Supremes - I'm So Glad I Got Somebody (Like You Around)
Donald Byrd - Dance Band
Eddie Kendricks - Skippin' Work Today
Eddie Kendricks - You Are The Melody Of My Life
Edwin Starr - Easin' In
Eloise Laws - Ain't It Good Feeling Good
Four Tops - I'm Grateful
Four Tops - Reflections
Gladys Knight & The Pips - I Heard It Through The Grapevine
Gladys Knight & The Pips - I Wish It Would Rain
Gladys Knight & The Pips - I'll Be Here (When You Get Home)
Gladys Knight & The Pips - Neither One Of Us
Gladys Knight & The Pips - The End Of Our Road
Gordon Staples & The String Thing - Get Down
Hearts of Stone - It's A Lonesome Road
Hearts of Stone - What Does It Take To Win Your Love
Hugo Montenegro - Your Song
Jack Ashford - I'm Back Home
Jerry Butler - Never Give You Up
Jerry Butler - Too Many Danger Signs
Jimmy Ruffin - Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head
Jimmy Ruffin - Take A Letter Maria
Joan Baez - Oh Happy Day (Live)
John Lee Hooker - Boom Boom
John Lee Hooker - What Do You Say
Jr. Walker & The All Stars - (I'm A) Road Runner
Martha Reeves & The Vandellas - I Should Be Proud
Martha Reeves & The Vandellas - Love Bug Leave My Heart Alone
Martha Reeves & The Vandellas - Nowhere To Run
Marvin Gaye - God Is Love
Marvin Gaye - Let's Get It On (Live '74)
Marvin Gaye - What's Going On (Live '74)
Marvin Gaye - What's Going On
Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell - Little Ole Boy, Little Ole Girl
Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell - You Ain't Livin' Till You're Lovin'
Mary Wells - Two Lovers
Melvin "Wah Wah" Watson - My Love For You Comes And Goes
Robert Palmer - Give Me An Inch
Stevie Wonder - Everybody Needs Somebody
Stevie Wonder - Hello Young Lovers
Stevie Wonder - Respect
Stevie Wonder - Silver Bells
Stevie Wonder - Thank You Love
The Artistics - Price of Love
The Caravans - Eternal Life
The Dramatics - Spaced Out Over You
The Isley Brothers - I Guess I'll Always Love You
The Jackson 5 - Come Round Here I'm The One You Need
The Marvelettes - I Can't Turn Around
The Marvelettes - Our Lips Just Seem To Rhyme Everytime
The Marvelettes - Strange I Know
The Marvelettes - That's How Heartaches Are Made
The Originals - Be My Love
The Originals - God Bless Whoever Sent You
The Originals - The World Can't Stop Me Now
The San Remo Golden Strings - My Girl
The Spinners - I've Got To Find Myself A Brand New Baby
The Spinners - My Whole World Ended
The Supremes - Come See About Me
The Supremes & The Temptations - A Place In The Sun
The Temptations - All I Need
The Temptations - Born To Love You
The Temptations - I Can't Get Next To You
The Temptations - You're My Everything
The Undisputed Truth - Save My Love For A Rainy Day
The Undisputed Truth - What's Going On
Valerie Simpson - Can't It Wait Until Tomorrow

Hey! It's a calm evening here, I'm just listening to music right now. Do you have any recommendations for a nostalgic early summer evening? Something that invokes these feelings?
But, who am I? Well, I'd say I'm creative! I act (I have got a leading role to a play recently!), but I also like to write (I'm writing a book) and my biggest passion is photography! Besides that I like to travel, read, cook and bake, learn new things, cycle, swim and run and a whole lot more. I am practicing chess, learning to edit videos and make music, practicing guitar and even more! I value learning new things and getting to know new experiences - so it would be great if you're similar.
I also like taking care of myself with mindfulness, skin care and good cups of tea. I like being outside, exploring and educating myself on a variety of topics, for example: Technology, privacy, urban planning, history, aviation, politics, culture,... I also enjoy going to theatre, classical concerts, ballet, opera and all kinds of museums and galleries!
I'll end it here for now - I hope you have a fantastic day and I'm looking forward to hearing from you! If you need an ice breaker: What would you say is the best thing about yourself?

I just Thought of a very goofy, but potentially overpowered build, this specifically involves Skull Merchant because she's the only killer I know of that can get a 7% haste or higher at base kit (sorry hag mains ik that shoe exists, u can probs use it on hag too if you want, might be even easier and more consistant now that I think about it).
So as you can likely see by the title, this build is gonna allow Skull Merchant to become insanely speedy, so what do you need for it?
For the build you need Skull Merchant for the 7% haste which you get by having all 4 survivors marked with atleast 1 stack
Game Afoot, which gives you a 5% haste for 10 seconds whenever breaking a pallet or breakable door when in chase with the obsession
so that alone gives a 12% haste, which is almost the same as max Play With Your Food stacks-
OH WAIT, this build has that too, every time the obsession leaves chase with you you gain a stack up to a max of 3 stacks, each stack gives a 5% haste. You only lose stacks when attacking.
So now its 27% haste, incredible, because we're only halfway through the perks.
Machine Learning: When kicking a gen, this perk activates, the kicked gen becomes marked, when the marked gen gets completed you gain the undetectable status effect and a 10% haste for 30 seconds.
37% haste, thats already alot more then nessecary. So let's add even more speed.
Shadowborn: Whenever blinded by any means, gain a 10% haste for 10 seconds.
Now its at 47% haste, and remember, bloodlust is also a thing so it could become even higher.
The thing with this build is that, it could actually happen if you're lucky enough for the survivors not giving up immidietly (or if you're willing to play nice, let them escape through doing gens).
You kick a gen to mark it, then get in chase with someone, obsession or not when hitting them, the second feature of Game Afoot i forgot to mention activates, they become the obsession, so you get 3 play with your food stacks, then the marked gen gets completed, and then you finish off with a pallet stun + blind by the obsession, giving you a 47% haste, which with her base speed of 4,6m/s becomes 6,762m/s.
If i remember correctly, that might be faster then a legion on their 4th hit during feral frenzy.
and to top it off, survivors can get a 10% hindered from getting scanned by a drone while having a clawtrap attached.

I've read almost all the other posts on here about this specific topic and I still can't seem to change how I feel about it.
I do agree that if you are with someone you truly love, that noticing another attractive woman doesn't really mean anything. Sometimes there's not even a thought behind the action and it was more of an impulse. I can wrap my mind around that. But, I always find myself relating to/agreeing with the simple fact that it's just as easy to be aware of your surroundings and move respectfully based on that. I have been in three long/serious relationships in my life and I was a different person in each relationship. I was an insecure high school girl who spiraled, I was the 'cool' girl who didn't care at all and even went along with checking the hot people out, and now I'm in a relationship that I know could without a doubt be it for me. They are the one. Since being in this relationship I've developed the mindset that I find it more romantic, more respectful and just as easy not acknowledging or checking out the hot people when we are together than to give in and check them out. A part of me believed my SO would notice that overtime, I do this and they would appreciate it and want to reciprocate. I "go out of my way" to not give into checking hot people out wherever we are together. And, I truly find myself uncomfortable and not wanting to give in to that when I'm away from them. Treat people the way you want to be treated kind of thing. But, they don't actually care. His actions are very much in the mindset a look is a look and not a big deal and shouldnt be. But, I've shared politely multiple times that it makes me uncomfortable and I think it's more about respect for me. His response is always "I totally agree. I don't check people out and it would totally bother me if I noticed you doing that." But his actions say otherwise. As a woman, personally, it's very apparent and obvious when a man is checking someone out because I get it all the time. It personally makes me uncomfortable and on edge. I already have to keep my head on a swivel going out into the world as a woman and being aware of the men that are checking me out keeps me safe. You never know. So, I know when my SO is checking someone out and they repeatedly deny and get defensive. I'm aware there are men out that that agree with me. Sometimes I feel like...maybe we just aren't as compatible as I originally thought and maybe this isn't it like I believed and wanted it to be. Or honestly, just being single and filling my life with lots of good friendships. Help.

Is it the right time to start preparing for the CAT24? What about those who started early? what about those stories about those start even late.
I get these questions a lot of times. And CAT is quite an interesting exam in the sense that the number of days you prepare for it tell absolutely nothing about your preparation stage.
I usually get two kind of queries. First is asking if this month or that month is right time to start and prepare. Second one is number of hours required to prepare for CAT. Both are inherently wrong questions with no possible right answers. For months, I tend to say that CAT can also be cracked within 4 months or less if you inherently have some aptitude, even if that doesn't reflect in the first few mocks you take. And for hours, I usually suggest that if you start from scratch, approximately 1000 hours is what you are looking at. [200 hours per section to prepare i.e. 600 hours, 50 mocks with 6 hours each i.e. 300 hours of mocks (6 hours because mock + solve the entire paper + analysis) and another 100 hours for revision and making notes etc.]
Both of my answers (any such other answers) are actually partially wrong and misleading. I'm making this post to give you the real answer.
CAT Preparation needs to be done in three phases. In Phase One, you need to build your basic knowledge structure. This varies with sectionals and I'll explain for each section.
VARC Phase 1
Here, your basic knowledge structure involves,

1. understanding the pattern of exam.
2. Having a strategy for the exam (RC first then VA or VA first then RC, whatever works for you). Remember that whatever strategy you pick, you need to know why that particular strategy and not something else. If you don't know, it's best to start from question 1 and go to the end.

For me, I needed to read RCs first to get in flow, but I needed to be very attentive in VA. so I would do 2 RCs to get in flow, go to VA when I'm hyper focused, come back to other 2 RCs to end the section on a good note (VA was my weakness)
See how I personalized this based on when I'm most active and what's my weakness and what's my strength. You need to do the same for yourself. Don't try to sit and make it. I'll come naturally to you. If it doesn't come, It means you are comfortable with going in any order. That's good.

1. Having the ability to understand the passage.

Some people have this inherently. Most people have this in some subjects (like science) and don't have in it other subjects (like philosophy). While a few of you don't have it at all.
What you need to make sure is, when you read the passage, did you understand the entire passage like what exactly was the passage trying to say?
That's all for VARC Phase 1..
DILR Phase 1
This is fairly simple. Just go through different types of DILR questions. (If you are following my guide, just complete the rodha playlist I had attached there)
Quant Phase 1
Do a few arithmetic chapters. 3-4 basic chapters like Time Speed Distance, Ratio and proportions, Averages, Mixtures and allegations etc.
After doing this phase, here comes the phase 2 of your preparation.
VARC Phase 2
Here you need to go through different types of RCs and questions. Understand your shortcomings. Understand what mistakes you are making. (If You are following VARC1000, finishing it concludes phase 2)
DILR Phase 2
Here you develop your symbols and signs. You learn which table/diagram to make in which question. Like I would always represent certain things with some symbols (Circle for males, underline for females etc) So you kind of develop your own representation in this phase.
Quant Phase 2
In this phase, you finish your quants syllabus. It is here that many people decide whether to go for arithmetic algebra and geometry or go for arithmetic and algebra only or maybe add a number system. Whatever is the combination you wanna go with.
With conclusion of this phase, you stop practicing quants chapter by chapter all together.
VARC Phase 3
This is the final phase where you just keep giving mocks, analyse them and look for the mistakes you are doing. Did you read the question wrong? Did you miss some word in paragraph? were you stressed? were you hurrying? were you distracted? This phase ends whenever CAT happens. Else it just continues.
DILR Phase 3
Here you learn what set to select. Set selection is the core of DILR. you basically learn how to choose what set to attempt and which one to leave. This phase never ends, because you just need to keep on practicing. So it continues till CAT
Quant Phase 3
Here also you learn which question to attempt and which question to leave and what silly mistakes are you doing. This also continues till the CAT exam day.
Now let's try to see how much time should it take (in hours)
VARC Phase 1: Could be anything from 1 hour to 50 hours of rigorous reading or even more. DILR Phase 1: Should take considerable time. Around 50 to 80 hours on average but again could take more or less. Quant Phase 1: Depends on how good you are inherently at calculations. Do you need to remember 19×7 or you know it already? Do you remember value of 2^10? Do you recall formula for compound interest?
VARC Phase 2: You might understand your mistakes and fix them within a week and might not be able to do so after 8 months of preparation. Again entirely depends on you.
DILR Phase 2: How long does it take for you to understand which data should be represented by which diagram and which table? No one can tell you. You would find out yourself.
Quant Phase 2: This is something predictable and takes most of the time. But again this varies. Someone doing Algebra, Arithmetic, Geometry, Probably, Number System would take more time as someone going with Arithmetic and Algebra only. Some people do only Arithmetic and Algebra, get a very high strike rate of getting questions right and score good in QA. Others complete the syllabus and pick and choose the easiest questions in the paper. They also score well. Some do both, they are God level. So again, time taken here varies.
VARC, DILR, and Quant Phase 3
This phase continues till the exam comes. For some people, this phase is very long so that's how you find people who gave 70+ mock tests. But this phase is just about finding mistakes and not repeating them in the CAT exam so this phase could also yield results with 30 odd mocks. Again varies from person to person.
And now, you understand why it is stupid to answer if you are starting in the right month or how many hours it takes. The sooner you learn from your mistakes, the less time it will take. How quickly would you learn from your mistakes? Nobody knows. That's why you see cases with 3 CAT attempts and can't score more than 90 percentile, and scored 99%ile with 2 to 4 months of preparation.
The best way to go about this is, either you would learn from your mistakes quickly and hence you should attempt CAT 24, or you need a lot of time to learn, in which case you give CAT24 and then CAT25 in case you feel that's needed.
Hope this helps.