I feel very alone and I hate it. Recently my gf broke off our 4 year relationship and since then I feel this weight on me even though I should be feeling free I’m very young and have a future ahead of me but this seems to be holding me back bc it’s always in the back of my mind and ruining my days. I question myself every other minute is she is happy w someone else or is she hooking up w guys to move on she doesn’t seem like the kind of person to do that but y wouldn’t she she’s the most beautiful person I’ve seen w my eyes it doesn’t make sense to me for her to just be alone. But that shouldn’t bother me and I don’t want it to bc she isn’t mine anymore and I have blocked her on everything she can contact me on but still when I leave the house I think abt seeing her for a glimpse of a second and I get this mixed feeling of missing her and hating her bc what she did to me.
The point I’m trying to make is I miss having a person and a person having me I’ve never been this alone I have a 3 friends who I talk to and I feel like a loser on a daily basis. How do I get over this feeling of loneliness and live my life without thinking abt someone who doesn’t spend anytime thinking abt me anymore. I want to get her out of my head so she can stop having my life in a chokehold. How do I avoid overthinking and caring what a person does that I have no friendship or relationship w and how do I become a less lonely person or a person who is happy being alone. The price of freedom is loneliness but I don’t want to keep living like this.
Any tips that have helped you guys or advice would be greatly appreciated.

.. but can we start a list of sore losers? Just got blocked by the 2nd person is as many days because I was absolutely wrecking them. These crybabies need to be shamed, even if it is in this one corner of the internet. 😆

I just realised that .. a 10k funded account is actually a 1000$ account with 1:1000 leverage Nd we aren't actually making 10% to pass a phase .. we are making 100% Isn't that mind blowing... Hence passing a funded challenge is not that easy .. It's all just a trap and mentality thing .. why don't they say it's a 1000$ account.. so we can feel like.. 'ah we only need just 8-10% to get that funded account' or 'just one good trade with full leverage'.. the market is a death trap for retailers.. nd the prop firms are like a necromancer who controls a lot of trading losers and gamblers So whoever actually have passed the funded challenge .. big props to you .. smh you all have made 100% Why I say 1000$ account is also coz our total dd is 10% of the 10k account .. Think about it .. But ykw. it isn't actually a bad deal to get a 1k account for 30 or 50$ .. but we have to make 100% and 50% on two accounts .. So is it really worth it!?
Nb:- Ik it’s not real money and it’s just simulated we money, some prop forms even mentions that .. but at least they do payouts.. so that doesn’t really matter .. unless if you doing super big funded accounts ig

// TODO int i, j, max_idx; pair temp = {0, 0}; // One by one move boundary of unsorted subarray for (i = 0; i < pair_count - 1; i++) { // Find the max element in unsorted array max_idx = i; for (j = i + 1; j < pair_count; j++) if (preferences[pairs[j].winner][pairs[j].loser] > preferences[pairs[max_idx].winner][pairs[max_idx].loser]) max_idx = j; // Swap the found max element with the first element if(max_idx != i) { temp.winner = pairs[i].winner; temp.loser = pairs[i].loser; pairs[i].winner = pairs[max_idx].winner; pairs[i].loser = pairs[max_idx].loser; pairs[max_idx].winner = temp.winner; pairs[max_idx].loser = temp.loser; } } return; 

TL;DR - selfish asshole of an older brother scams me and my parents out of $200.
Okay, so I’m not doing too well financially, but I live with my Mom and Pops so we try to make ends meet. A couple weeks back we were in such rough shape financially, that I had to juggle three day jobs just to cover rent and suppress the collector’s from knocking on the door regarding our collective debts. We so broke I literally can’t even afford to sleep because in the night=I can get freelance work done. “I can sleep when I’m dead,” has become my full-time motto (unfortunately). Anyways, to try to bring some income in my household I offer services as a freelance video editor.
A while back, my older brother (who’s a career criminal and has flee’d multiple countries when authorities were after him for violent offences) hit me up and asked if I’d be down to edit for him. I was hesitant at first, being as last time I heard from him was after he beat our Mum to a pulp when I was only 12. For context bro or sis, whoever you are that is reading this: if I was only three years older I wouldn’t have let that slide—I would have mobbed his ass right then and there, pinned him down and done him so fucking dirty… IDGAF if my 15 year old ass had gone to juvie for it, I would do anything for my mother, including take a life. But instead, all that’s been imprinted in my brain is how much of a bitch I was at 12–cowering under the dining table as he took multiple shots with a shoe, at our crying helpless mother on the ground.
Anyways it’s been a few years, I’m 24 now and he gave me a big sob story how he has changed. I bought it up like the good little sheeple I am… started editing for him under the guise that he’d pay me $200 per video: SCORE! That’s a lot of money!!!
I got to know his business (shady as fuck) and got to find out he now dreams of being a finance influencer (double shady) but alas, he’s my big bro and no matter what wrong-doing he’s doing, he convinced me that he was a good man. Ight, bet, I’ma edit for him and make some money for the fam! In between his ‘takes’ of videos he sends me, I piece together that his “wife” films the videos, and he’s still an extremely abusive person. He tries not to let it show on camera, but I’m really good with people, emotions and hidden trauma so I can feel the sickening ‘abuser-of-people’ energy SEEPING off of him, still, to this day. I feel sick to my stomach editing for him, but shit, he’s promised me $200 per video. Over the course of a few weeks I can see why he never told us about his wife, it seems he keeps her pent up somewhere in Georgia, Batumi, and forces her to do whatever he wants. He once referred to her as “his slave” which I originally thought was A JOKE, but now in the grand scheme of things… I don’t think it was a joke. I pray that authorities get to them before he does something to her, but idek where to begin to put a ‘concerned citizen tip’ in a foreign country.
Some context as to why I put up with all the red flags: Mom’s not working as she has to take care of the house and she’s also trying to make money online, any ways possible. She’s starting to sell her favourite clothes. It fucking breaks my heart that I can’t do shit about it… at 24 years old, with all the social media influencing and advertising, I feel like garbage that I can’t fully support my parents… at least not yet! Dad is constantly depressed because he’s almost 80 years old and can’t retire ‘cuz my parent’s are in too much debt.
Okay, anyways, three BIG videos done for him (by big, I mean I spent +8 hours on each vid) and brother’s paid me for ONE via PayPal… no worries, he keeps leading me on saying the money will come, the money will come. And PayPal says I got $200 coming my way from him! Uhh ight, bet? Mind you, I start PLANNING my life around this $200 notification because that’s a hot stack for me and my family!!! Takes PayPal about 20 days to actually let me use the money… ridiculous because we NEEDED it… but that’s okay, I work around the problems in life, much like we all have to.
Here comes the turning point: I’m a little overworked and a little coo-coo sometimes, and one night I start telling him personal shit, kinda pouring out my heart to him, venting almost. I don’t really remember about what, just life I guess, nothing negative towards him. Somehow he misconstrues it, gets upset with me, and ‘tells me off.’ I get upset with him, tell him his business is a sham and I’ma change the rules that we agreed upon. Since his fake-ass can’t pay me what was agreed upon, (maybe $200 is a lot for him, as well) so I ask him if we can do $10 per hour instead. I pitch to him that moving forward, anytime I edit more than five hours ($50), I will refuse to edit until the money gets sent. The conversation turns hostile, QUICK. He calls me a ton of bad names with an underlying message that I’m the biggest loser on earth for pursuing a dream in working in Entertainment & he ends it with a sweet “you’ll never be anything.” LOL WHAT? Completely out of pocket and out of left field, so naturally, I tell him to eat shit, I won’t be doing anymore free work and he can pay me a mere $30 (yes, thirty dollars) for the entire portfolio of audios, texts/scripts, videos, and clips I’ve taken from the internet that ‘match’ the vibe he wants in his videos.
Context: at this point I’ve completed SIX FULL VIDEOS FOR THIS DUDE and he’s only paid me the one payment of $200. Not good at maths? Me neither, lemme help you out. He owes me $1,200 from our original agreement because I’ve spent more than 48 collective hours working on his videos, and he’s only paid me $200. But I tell him: I’ll let it all slide if he pays me $30 for the portfolio of about 50 gigabytes, and then moving forward, he’d pay me the $10 per hour if he wanted more content from me. He already has the six full videos in his possession. The ‘portfolio’ is stuff I’ve found that’s free-use on the internet, stuff that I’ve compiled, and even some scripts that I’ve written out! ALL MINE that I did for HIS business. So it seems logical for me to give this portfolio as an option, just incase he wants to say nah moving forward on me editing for him, and just take the material & go our separate ways…
In response, my (35 year old) brother files a complaint on PayPal claiming he only hired me for a channel encompassing trailer that I did not provide and that I’m attempting to extort him for more money. LOL, WHAT? PayPal’s like BET and automatically attempts to deduct from MY chequing account, without even getting to the bottom of it. Obviously doesn’t work, my account (not PayPal account, my fucking bank account. these mf so overzealous that they reached right into my mf pocket!!!!) gets put in the negatives and I attempt to appeal, with no sweat on my brow ‘cuz I’m like no way PayPal finna let this slide. I then proceed to message my terrible relative multiple times, with texts, videos and audio recordings and I’m in a hysterical mess. I begin threatening him, I begin begging to him, pleading with him, saying anything under the sun just for the hope that he has some heart and would send back the $200 if PayPal does end up taking it from me. Already my chequing was fricked but I could do some damage control… I was cocky, thinking PayPal would obviously side with me once they heard the whole story, so I also told him since he’s caused such pain for me out of absolutely nothing, like completely unprovoked, then shit: I want the original $200 PLUS an extra $200 for all this trauma. He responds by blocking me on everything. It’s 4 A.M. and I’m shaking as I’m typing this…
Somehow after all the information I provided, PayPal sides with him. Wow, wait, what? PayPal has since tried to deduct my PERSONAL CHEQUING ACCOUNT multiple times in order to fish back the $200 which I ALREADY HAD TO USE!!! Idk if you ever had a payment tried to be taken out of an account which already has a negative balance, but the payment doesn’t go (it does a minus then a plus) but usually the bank is like WTF and charges you fees. Multiple times = Multiple fees…
Before, I was in the negatives on my ONE chequing account I own… now I’m in the NEGATIVE-NEGATIVES… no clue how tf I’ma get out of it, but we all persevere eventually! I’ve reached out to PayPal but I’m almost sure nothing will come of it.. I’m considering taking PayPal to small claims court to somehow try to fix all this mess, but I fear it’ll break me off more trouble than repair anything. If you want to DM me, I’ll gladly give you my brother’s socials to send a report to his accounts on Instagram or TikTok, or even leave him a not-so-nice comment if you’d like. Also let me know if you know how I can get in contact with the authorities in the country of ‘Georgia.’
I have absolutely no issues posting his socials, address, doxxxing his ass to the fullest extent, all to do whatever’s necessary: because I fear he will one day gain notoriety and scam a shit ton of people. Praying that never happens.
Let me know what y’all think!!!

She’s been dating someone since we were together, and now that we’re over they’re still dating now.
He’s good looking, tall and a professional athlete.
I know this is the wrong mindset but holy fuck I’m insecure. I feel so inadequate. I loved her more than anything and she’s moved on with some hotter cooler guy.
I have no friends in this city too and have injuries that prevent me from going to the gym. I’m such a loser holy fuck.
I’ll never find someone better than her and she found someone better than me in half a second. I’m really dying of insecurity and jealousy right now.

Help a girl out cuz I need recs! Something like Jennifer and needy's dynamics (Jennifer's body) thanks!!!

The smell of money... Tea, incense, and sweet foods... All of this to be found in FuMuCha. A tea shop in San Francisco Chinatown, FuMuCha was a safe place where immigrants and their descendants could coexist in peace. The Lees, a Korean immigrant family, moved in many years ago with their toddler son. Their son, Vincent Lee, was easily impressionable and very outgoing. He easily made friends because he was taught to help and be helped to survive. "Money isn't everything, but take the opportunity to live", his parents told him. His parents were smart, they befriended and learned Chinese culture to make life easier to start. Time passes, preschool, ESOL, elementary, then... Middle school.
A loud thud. Blood on the ground. The silence of fear... And trembling...
"Go back to your country!" "You're not welcome here!" "Look at this loser trying to be normal."
Vincent is on the ground, bloodied nose, bruised face, cracked ribs... "I'm... Sorry...". He regretted living. He had no purpose. Living day to day just like the other kids... Until they were taught world history. No matter what he did, the kids bullied him for being the same ethnicity of those who did terrible things or were under the foot of another. Nanking, The railroad, comfort women, the boxer's rebellion, the cultural revolution... He was blamed for all of that just for being born. Isolation, growing his hair out because he refused to go out. This torment lasted until 8th grade.
Vincent walked home from school... The last day of 7th grade, he heard something... "Hiya! Ha!". He turned to look. A man on the television, a weird hairstyle, funny clothes, but... Amazing fighting skills. Vincent immediately wanted to fight like him. He found someone... Someone who could save him from his hell. He used the last of his savings to buy all of the kung fu dvds he could. He spent all summer on his own watching, learning, training... To be like the men... No, the heroes, that saved his life. He found purpose. Being someone else was so... Different. But he needed to be. When he confronted those bullied him, they couldn't win... Vincent was like a bat out of hell. Sloppy techniques, but fast, dedicated... Eventually, with each opponent he defeated, he got a bit better each time... Less bruises, less bloody noses, but... More heart. Too much. His parents decided that America may not be safest... After all, Vincent attracted the attention of the underworld Chinese Mafia. They were going to induct him once he got into highschool because of his knack for violence... So they moved.
"Korea? Why? Why're we moving? I'm getting better, Ma! I'm strong now!" Vincent didn't understand... Not until his mom held him close and said, "that's right, you're very strong. You're my strong baby boy... But ma and pa are not like you... Make sure you protect us too, okay? Protect your family in Korea."
Vincent understood that his new hope wasn't meant for just him... Fighting? Is that all there is to power? No... There's gotta something out there that will teach him what it is to be strong... Something like four schools...

TL;DR - selfish asshole of an older brother scams me and my parents out of $200.
Okay, so I’m not doing too well financially, but I live with my Mom and Pops so we try to make ends meet. A couple weeks back we were in such rough shape financially, that I had to juggle three day jobs just to cover rent and suppress the collector’s from knocking on the door regarding our collective debts. We so broke I literally can’t even afford to sleep because in the night=I can get freelance work done. “I can sleep when I’m dead,” has become my full-time motto (unfortunately). Anyways, to try to bring some income in my household I offer services as a freelance video editor.
A while back, my older brother (who’s a career criminal and has flee’d multiple countries when authorities were after him for violent offences) hit me up and asked if I’d be down to edit for him. I was hesitant at first, being as last time I heard from him was after he beat our Mum to a pulp when I was only 12. For context bro or sis, whoever you are that is reading this: if I was only three years older I wouldn’t have let that slide—I would have mobbed his ass right then and there, pinned him down and done him so fucking dirty… IDGAF if my 15 year old ass had gone to juvie for it, I would do anything for my mother, including take a life. But instead, all that’s been imprinted in my brain is how much of a bitch I was at 12–cowering under the dining table as he took multiple shots with a shoe, at our crying helpless mother on the ground.
Anyways it’s been a few years, I’m 24 now and he gave me a big sob story how he has changed. I bought it up like the good little sheeple I am… started editing for him under the guise that he’d pay me $200 per video: SCORE! That’s a lot of money!!!
I got to know his business (shady as fuck) and got to find out he now dreams of being a finance influencer (double shady) but alas, he’s my big bro and no matter what wrong-doing he’s doing, he convinced me that he was a good man. Ight, bet, I’ma edit for him and make some money for the fam! In between his ‘takes’ of videos he sends me, I piece together that his “wife” films the videos, and he’s still an extremely abusive person. He tries not to let it show on camera, but I’m really good with people, emotions and hidden trauma so I can feel the sickening ‘abuser-of-people’ energy SEEPING off of him, still, to this day. I feel sick to my stomach editing for him, but shit, he’s promised me $200 per video. Over the course of a few weeks I can see why he never told us about his wife, it seems he keeps her pent up somewhere in Georgia, Batumi, and forces her to do whatever he wants. He once referred to her as “his slave” which I originally thought was A JOKE, but now in the grand scheme of things… I don’t think it was a joke. I pray that authorities get to them before he does something to her, but idek where to begin to put a ‘concerned citizen tip’ in a foreign country.
Some context as to why I put up with all the red flags: Mom’s not working as she has to take care of the house and she’s also trying to make money online, any ways possible. She’s starting to sell her favourite clothes. It fucking breaks my heart that I can’t do shit about it… at 24 years old, with all the social media influencing and advertising, I feel like garbage that I can’t fully support my parents… at least not yet! Dad is constantly depressed because he’s almost 80 years old and can’t retire ‘cuz my parent’s are in too much debt.
Okay, anyways, three BIG videos done for him (by big, I mean I spent +8 hours on each vid) and brother’s paid me for ONE via PayPal… no worries, he keeps leading me on saying the money will come, the money will come. And PayPal says I got $200 coming my way from him! Uhh ight, bet? Mind you, I start PLANNING my life around this $200 notification because that’s a hot stack for me and my family!!! Takes PayPal about 20 days to actually let me use the money… ridiculous because we NEEDED it… but that’s okay, I work around the problems in life, much like we all have to.
Here comes the turning point: I’m a little overworked and a little coo-coo sometimes, and one night I start telling him personal shit, kinda pouring out my heart to him, venting almost. I don’t really remember about what, just life I guess, nothing negative towards him. Somehow he misconstrues it, gets upset with me, and ‘tells me off.’ I get upset with him, tell him his business is a sham and I’ma change the rules that we agreed upon. Since his fake-ass can’t pay me what was agreed upon, (maybe $200 is a lot for him, as well) so I ask him if we can do $10 per hour instead. I pitch to him that moving forward, anytime I edit more than five hours ($50), I will refuse to edit until the money gets sent. The conversation turns hostile, QUICK. He calls me a ton of bad names with an underlying message that I’m the biggest loser on earth for pursuing a dream in working in Entertainment & he ends it with a sweet “you’ll never be anything.” LOL WHAT? Completely out of pocket and out of left field, so naturally, I tell him to eat shit, I won’t be doing anymore free work and he can pay me a mere $30 (yes, thirty dollars) for the entire portfolio of audios, texts/scripts, videos, and clips I’ve taken from the internet that ‘match’ the vibe he wants in his videos.
Context: at this point I’ve completed SIX FULL VIDEOS FOR THIS DUDE and he’s only paid me the one payment of $200. Not good at maths? Me neither, lemme help you out. He owes me $1,200 from our original agreement because I’ve spent more than 48 collective hours working on his videos, and he’s only paid me $200. But I tell him: I’ll let it all slide if he pays me $30 for the portfolio of about 50 gigabytes, and then moving forward, he’d pay me the $10 per hour if he wanted more content from me. He already has the six full videos in his possession. The ‘portfolio’ is stuff I’ve found that’s free-use on the internet, stuff that I’ve compiled, and even some scripts that I’ve written out! ALL MINE that I did for HIS business. So it seems logical for me to give this portfolio as an option, just incase he wants to say nah moving forward on me editing for him, and just take the material & go our separate ways…
In response, my (35 year old) brother files a complaint on PayPal claiming he only hired me for a channel encompassing trailer that I did not provide and that I’m attempting to extort him for more money. LOL, WHAT? PayPal’s like BET and automatically attempts to deduct from MY chequing account, without even getting to the bottom of it. Obviously doesn’t work, my account (not PayPal account, my fucking bank account. these mf so overzealous that they reached right into my mf pocket!!!!) gets put in the negatives and I attempt to appeal, with no sweat on my brow ‘cuz I’m like no way PayPal finna let this slide. I then proceed to message my terrible relative multiple times, with texts, videos and audio recordings and I’m in a hysterical mess. I begin threatening him, I begin begging to him, pleading with him, saying anything under the sun just for the hope that he has some heart and would send back the $200 if PayPal does end up taking it from me. Already my chequing was fricked but I could do some damage control… I was cocky, thinking PayPal would obviously side with me once they heard the whole story, so I also told him since he’s caused such pain for me out of absolutely nothing, like completely unprovoked, then shit: I want the original $200 PLUS an extra $200 for all this trauma. He responds by blocking me on everything. It’s 4 A.M. and I’m shaking as I’m typing this…
Somehow after all the information I provided, PayPal sides with him. Wow, wait, what? PayPal has since tried to deduct my PERSONAL CHEQUING ACCOUNT multiple times in order to fish back the $200 which I ALREADY HAD TO USE!!! Idk if you ever had a payment tried to be taken out of an account which already has a negative balance, but the payment doesn’t go (it does a minus then a plus) but usually the bank is like WTF and charges you fees. Multiple times = Multiple fees…
Before, I was in the negatives on my ONE chequing account I own… now I’m in the NEGATIVE-NEGATIVES… no clue how tf I’ma get out of it, but we all persevere eventually! I’ve reached out to PayPal but I’m almost sure nothing will come of it.. I’m considering taking PayPal to small claims court to somehow try to fix all this mess, but I fear it’ll break me off more trouble than repair anything. If you want to DM me, I’ll gladly give you my brother’s socials to send a report to his accounts on Instagram or TikTok, or even leave him a not-so-nice comment if you’d like. Also let me know if you know how I can get in contact with the authorities in the country of ‘Georgia.’
I have absolutely no issues posting his socials, address, doxxxing his ass to the fullest extent, all to do whatever’s necessary: because I fear he will one day gain notoriety and scam a shit ton of people. Praying that never happens.
Let me know what y’all think!!!

I swear it’s what keeps people (guys at least) around me. Had I been ugly so many would’ve spat in my face because I say the most out of pocket things. I’m mean on accident, I can’t do anything right, I’m an obsessive mentally ill loser and everytime I meet someone I wonder how much time it’ll take them to realize that. I’m a whole scam 🥲🥲
Butttt if I’m pretty I can keep attracting new people into my life. And sure that relationship will end when they get sick of me (or when I get sick, that happens too) but I’ll find someone new to replace them with. It’s better than staying alone forever I guess

I’ve been having an extremely difficult time caring about my life lately. I feel like everything is pointless, and I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I lost all of my friends a few years back because of my social anxiety. It’s kinda just been getting worse since then. Like I can’t even talk in family group chats sometimes. I feel like a loser and a disappointment to everyone. I’ve lost all motivation, and I’m so embarrassed. I can’t even bring myself to do my college coursework. I feel stressed all the time, but my body doesn’t move. I just lay there and waste away all my time. I’ve noticed that I’m starting to lose interest in all of my hobbies. Nothing makes me happy anymore. It’s getting harder for me to fake my emotions around my family members too. It’s exhausting and makes me dread any interactions. Like I’m always hyperanalyzing my behavior to make sure I seem normal. Forcing myself to smile, to laugh, to hold conversations. When I really just feel empty and numb. I’m not sure what to do now. It feels like my emotions are disappearing if that makes sense. Anyway, I frequently catch myself daydreaming about not being here anymore. I wish I could go back to the times when I was excited to grow up and have a life. I miss having friends. I miss looking forward to anything really. I’d give anything to feel that way again.
I want to note that the reason I feel the need to force my emotions is because I live in a household where it triggers my parents if we aren’t happy. They take it personally and will fight us about it, mock us, and guilt us. It’s definitely not a safe space to openly discuss my feelings and struggles. And I don’t think I can mentally handle another falling out with them. So for now, I gotta keep everything in 🫡 I truly hope I make it through this rough patch.

Recently posted about how no minimum wage jobs were getting back to me… finally got an offer from a new Wingstop opening! I’m 39 years old and wasted many years due to mental health issues.. I just feel like I want to get my foot in the door… somewhere!
I’m interested in food and may be a good way to get kitchen experience, maybe with hard work become assistant manager?
Just wanted some advice if I should take this job or not… I’m really fighting the demons in my head that “you’re 39 why you such a f*cking loser, don’t take a job at Wingstop”

I was in a relationship and she went on a date with this guy while we were still in a great place. This guy is a professional athlete too. He has this crazy awesome life and I’m just pathetic ole me.
I know it’s a horrible mindset but I can’t stop feeling like such a damn loser. She has him this great awesome guy and I’m a pathetic loser who treated her poorly in the end and got dumped.
Ugh I’m so mad and jealous. Feel like such a hopeless loser and that I’ll stay that way.