Platypus life cycle diagramb

Hello everyone, I am a professor at the University of Waterloo.
I wanted to come on here and share some insight with you guys regarding the admissions for the Fall 2024 cycle. I understand a lot of you got rejected and/or deferred to another program (e.g. Geomatics.) and I feel so sorry for all of you. The main point I would like to make here is: that you need to *STOP* blaming our school and our admission officers solely because YOU couldn't fulfil the requirements ~clearly outlined in each program website~. As a professor within this institution for about 9 (almost 10 years...), trust me, you guys will change nothing by ranting about it on some high schoolers subreddit, and it just sounds like whining. I am sick of people slandering the University of Waterloo, and I truly find this so disgusting. Perhaps, your attitude was a part of the reason for your rejection or deferral. :)
I have a daughter who is in Grade 12, just like you guys! and she was accepted everywhere. I am so proud of her. She is LIVING PROOF that if you just put in the work and stay focused, you WILL achieve your goals. Instead of blaming our officers for *your* rejection, blame yourself instead. And trust me, I know this sounds harsh but it's the reality. It's your fault and I hope you guys from now on speak respectfully only and not in a way that slanders hardworking people like the admission officers and myself. We have worked hard to get to where we are and we know that rejection sucks ... BUT THAT'S LIFE. You get rejected and move on. For example: you get deferred to Geomatics? It was likely for the best and it's very possible that you would not have succeeded in Computer Science, and it's better than a rejection. Be grateful.
Please just be respectful, it breaks my heart to see all of you not getting into your dream schools/programs, but it will all work out. :)
Keep calm and carry on.

Hello!
From 2009-2011 when I was 24-25, I had a series of abnormal paps--it started with ASCUS/HPV+ with colpo, then HSIL w/ neg colpo, then back to ASCUS/HPV+ with no colpo (w&w), then LSIL w/neg colpo, then HSIL and FINALLY, they decided to give me a LEEP, from which I had CIN III with positive margins. (In my opinion, they should have given me a LEEP the first time with HSIL, but I was young and healthy and they thought I would clear it.) Even with the positive margins, they just continued to watch and wait.
Anyway, all of my paps post-LEEP were fine (until a random ASC-H HPV- one in 2015, w/negative colpo, that was likely due to a benign polyp.)
So here we are in 2024, I am 40, I have had one child in 2020 (no complications, born at term). I have dutifully gone for my pap every year and they usually co-test me. I have been normal since 2015, and HPV- since they started testing regularly for that when I turned 30 in 2014. Now, I thought I would have to go yearly for the rest of my life. I just went for my well-woman exam today, and my new doc told me that they should have gone to a 3 year pap cycle years ago since all of my paps have been normal for almost 10 years.
I feel weird going every three years? Like, it was so much trauma from 2009-2011 with the constant back and forth, and I did have a friend pass away from cervical cancer a few years ago. So I guess I'm a bit paranoid. What else have other folks done once they've had a few normal paps? Is it weird to not be doing yearly? Is it okay?
For context, I'm a healthy 40 year old, married with one kid, one partner.

So for more context we have been together for 7 years on and off. He is my first serious relationship and I lost my virginity to him. He has had multiple gfs before we met. He has ADHD and I think I have some type of mental illness but I’ve never been diagnosed. (My bf thinks I’m a narcissist though due to both my parents being narcissists). We live together and have been through a lot with each other. Basically we are trauma bonded together and have both cheated on each other in the first couple years of dating but we have not had infidelity in the last 2 years. We keep breaking up over miscommunication and I keep leaving him because I truly think he deserves better than me. I am not sure if I just want to break up because I want to start over or if I just want to leave him to escape accountability for my actions. I have sexual trauma from my childhood and it is affecting our relationship because I don’t have any self worth so I let men use me in the past and now my bf doesn’t respect me and gets frustrated when I don’t want to have sex since I let other men have sex with me. I’m not sure if I’m with him because I’m in love with him or if I’m just comfortable. He wants to be with me because he loves me but he can’t get over his trust issues and insecurities about me. I feel like the right thing to do would be to break up and end this toxic cycle but he thinks if we go to couples therapy that we can make things work together. I don’t want to waste money on couples therapy because I feel like the therapist will just tell us to call it quits anyways. I feel like we have been through too much trauma with each other and idk if we can heal from it while still being together. We can forgive each other but we will never forget. I’m going to a concert tomorrow and he’s already worried about me talking to other guys. I just want this chaos to end and there to be peace in my life. Any and all advice would be appreciated.

I'm 42 years old and my entire life has been a cycle of being used and abandoned. Every person who has claimed to love me or care in any real was has walked away. I don't want to be alone but I am too broken for anyone to love and I don't blame them. I'm tired.

Netflix should have kicked Khanya off the show after she threw the wine and wine bottle at Nkateko. That is clearly abuse, and there is precedent on other reality dating shows to kick off contestants after situations escalate to physical abuse (e.g. Are You The One).
I also think that would have changed Nkateko's life. He's caught in a cycle of abuse, and he doesn't seem to realize it. It can take years and years for a victim to realize they're in an abuse cycle. I think it would have potentially been impactful to have a 3rd party like Netflix producers explicitly call it abuse so the gravity of the situation would sink in. My heart breaks for him, and I hope at a minimum, the production is paying for some therapy appointments for him like they do on the US based shows.

No way to say this without doxxing myself - but that’s okay!
I applied to YHS + Chicago this cycle knowing I would reapply next cycle if things did not work out.
I was accepted into UChicago and waitlisted at the other three. I deferred at Chicago and worked an agreement with their admissions team that I could apply to other schools next cycle if UChicago could not support some specific (and unique) financial needs. DM me if curious.
SLS showed a DLS in my portal, Yale sent an email saying their class was full, and Harvard was mostly through their WL admits so I figured all was over this cycle.
So, I sent all three schools (YHS) a polite email thanking them for their time and consideration and letting them know that they were a top choice for me and that I would be reapplying next cycle.
Yale shot me an immediate response thanking me and telling me that they would follow up if they had any additional information.
About a week later I got a call from the Yale admissions team offering me a deferred slot into next year’s class. Obviously I’m shocked and honored. This is one of the craziest moments of my life and I was literally dancing with my wife last night!!!
——
Obligatory addendum: please do not read this post as saying just spam law schools with thank you notes. I cannot guarantee that will work. Like everyone else on here I cannot say even what worked for me. I can just say that in this universe, with this particular flap of the butterfly’s wing, the things I did worked for me.
If I could say anything, it would be don’t give up hope. The little things can make a difference. Showing grace even in the face of failure means a lot. And you never know how close you are to success. Waitlists and rejections feel like failures - they are binary results. For all you know you were the next person on their list and you just missed the cutoff by one. So, don’t be too hard on yourself!

According to the Norns, every species has its own spirit of the wild that somehow 'protect' that species.
(A little bit of a degression here: i'm personally convinced that Koda religion is real as the kodans say, he supervise the cycle of reincarnation -which in my mind starts right at the 'pillar of light' in front of Dhuum's throne...assuming someone don't use the power of the throne to prevent that and control the souls...- and the spirits of the wild are its subservients. But that's just my interpretation of things...)
However the question is: do spirits of the wild for sentient races exist? Is there a spirit of Norn, a spirit of Charr, a spirit of Human etc? Humans may be not of this world but they still come from some other world in the Mists universe, they're not THAT much 'alien' after all...(still in my personal interpretation: Koda, as well as Dhuum, are both very powerful beings that appeared from the Mists at some point in history, both with powers related to the control of souls but different)
If souls are capable of reincarnating in those sentient forms too (and i have to assume that), there should be a spirit that 'guides' those souls to their new race in their new life.
So...what you think? Should a spirit of Human exist?
What's your personal interpretation? I could add more stuff about where the 'minds' of Silvary actually comes from....since they seem much more independent from their original creator than any other dragon minion. But that would be off-topic :P

The lore of the base game is uninterpretable. I enjoy cryptic storytelling and ambiguity and I greatly enjoyed the lore of Dark Souls and Bloodborne, but more than two years after release, I still have no idea what Elden Ring is about.
Is the Greater will the capital G GOD or just another outer god competing with others? What does it want? (I have never seen a piece of Japanese media that understood monotheism well. I have read arguments that the Japanese cultural mindset doesn't have the logical presuppositions that monotheism is built on.)
What did Marika want? Did she shatter the Elden Ring because she went mad with grief after her favorite child was killed, or did she in fact have some hand in orchestrating the night of black knives so she would have a way to shatter the Elden Ring? How does that tie into removing the Rune of Death? In what way did she trick Malacath? Why did she create the tarnished by banishing Godfrey?
Who is Melina? She's severely underutilized, only showing up at Churches and a few other Bonfires, and after you first meet her it possible to miss her other dialogue events almost entirely. The big emotional moment on the Mountain top of the giants didn't affect me at all. No other character or item descriptions mentions her. She will not be appearing in the DLC, because it is separate from the main game.
Dark Souls lore is obtusely told but not terribly difficult to understand once you fit the pieces together. The first game is about how you are tricked into being a sacrificial martyr to preserve the age of light, or reject it for the age of dark. It's ambiguous whether it's better to suffer to preserve the glorious age of light or refuse to be taken advantage of and become the dark lord.
DS3 removes the ambiguity by turning the cycles of linking the fire into a Buddhist metaphor about how death and decay are inevitable and it is foolish and unnatural to try to cling to life.
What is Elden ring about? I still have no idea what it's central theme is. I know the Erdtree was at some point the source of life and that it has burned down before, but so much of the timeline is obscured. I cannot understand Elden Ring

So about 1 year ago I met this girl, she was really attractive and after exchanging some texts she wanted to hang out. We went on a date, had a lot of fun and after a few drinks we ended up having sex in a hotel room. After this we started dating for a while, we would always go out every weekend and obviously we developed feelings for each other. I was not the kind of guy looking for a relationship, I would constantly have one night stands or just have fun with different girls; but the connection I had with this one girl felt really special, I lusted over her but at the same time I wanted to be just by her side every moment I could.
Eventually we started a relationship, we argued sometimes but nothing out of the ordinary. I stopped doing a lot of things I considered normal just to not make her feel insecure, like hanging out with my best friends (all girls), etc. Things were fine, except from the fact that she met my family about 2 weeks after knowing each other, while after months of dating I never went to her house, not even once.
She lived with her mother and her "brother", she would constantly talk about them, telling me about the things they did or when they would hang out. When I asked about who I assumed was her brother though, she said he "kinda" was, and that things were complicated but she would soon tell me everything about it. I assumed the kid was just adopted or something and simply shrugged it off.
We were a happy couple, we would hang out all the time and simply enjoy whatever we were doing, we were both deeply in love. Until one day we went to a bar with my friends, she already knew them, like I knew hers, so it was nothing new. However this time one of my closest pals brought a girl that I already knew, but would rarely go out. Everything was fine, we parted ways, I went to my house with my girl, we were really tired so we went straight to the bed and like always, had some fun before sleeping.
The next day was when everything went to hell. I was hanging out with my girl, when suddenly my pal texts me saying that I need to call him ASAP. I supposed something funny happened, as we would always talk about the stuff that we did the day after. I go outside and call him, he tells me to "be calm" and to take it easy, at least for now, this just shocks as he has never tell me something like this. Then he proceeds to tell me that my gf has a kid. I was in shock, it was about 10 months since we began dating and she never told me, or even tried to. I was shaking when dealing with this info, we are both fairly young so this was one of the things I never ever expected.
He told me that the friend he brought along yesterday recognized her as her cousin´s ex. And to everyone surprise, they broke up for this very reason, because she never told him about her kid. He then sent me screenshots of the texts he had with this guy, where he was in shock after finding it out and broke up with her.
I composed myself, went to my room and told her to pack her stuff, we need to talk, but outside. We talked for about an hour, I couldnt believe she had lied to me, or well, she hid something as important as that from me for so long! suddenly everything started making sense, from her getting offended from some stupid jokes I used to make to me never going to her house after all this time. I changed! I stopped doing all those things that bothered her and for this ? I felt betrayed, and after she left I went to my house, talked with my closest friends and try to get over it.
The very same day she called me, saying that she wanted to tell me but didnt know how to, that she loved me and that she didnt want to lose me. I was still in shock, and didnt want to see her again after all this, however she showed up in my door, and after letting her in (it was late AF and I did not want anything to happen to her) we talked about it. She said that things would be better, that it was the only thing she never told me, and that she did it out of fear of me leaving. I didnt want to believe all this, I really felt she was special; remember how I said i was kind of a playboy before ? I somehow wanted to marry her and have a family, something that I never ever wished to do with anyone else before. And suddenly, all this dreams and aspirations I had with her were gone; this may be a immature response but I felt that while this would be my first time, she already had it.
After learning almost everything about the situation, that she basically had the kid without knowing (she didnt knew she was pregnant until the very last months) we broke up but would still hang out like if we never did, things were not the same but this was the way I coped with all this I guess.
I started to be the asshole I was before, I loved her, but I still felt betrayed and didnt know what to do, as we werent really a couple anymore. Days went by and I started replying the messages of all these girls I used to ignore (who were obviously flirting with me). Some of them asking me to go out, or help me with stuff that I needed; I started going out with them, having sex, haging out, getting drunk, etc. Most of them developed feelings but I never reciprocated, I was just having fun like I used to. Suddenly my ex asked me to be her boyfriend again, and not knowing what to do I accepted.
Its been months after all this happened, we had a lot of fights because I just dont care about all the things that make her insecure now, I am the way I used to be again, we broke up again, but we still see each other every weekend. Recently a girl that used to flirt with me started to hit on me again, even sending food to my office, and there are other girls asking me out, and although I dont have as much time as I used to, as I am now focused on a personal project that has been the work of my entire life, I still manage to go out whenever I feel "bored".
I have tried to make it work with my ex, I swear, but everytime I feel like I want to marry her and have a family I remember that she already has a kid and how she lied to me. I start thinking about how stupid I would be as a step father. I can barely manage my life and I dont want to be responsible of a kid, even though she says that her mother takes care of him. I want to travel, I want to fullfill my dreams, and honestly, I dont want to have kids, not now, not in the future.
I dont know what to do, I have tried to stop contact with her, but somehow we end up talking again and the cycle repeats. Currently we are "happy" but I feel like I dont want to have her as my partner for life, as I know that doing so means that I would have to accept the kid, and to be honest (maybe this is a immature way to look at it) looking at the kid would remind me of everything that went wrong, and would also remind me of the fact that she was with someone else.

Read part 1 first!

• Sixth attempt: Watching one of those horrible videos did scared me but it made things worse! I felt horrible, I felt discussed, I wanted to end myself... I felt like I messed up my sexual life for LIFE! I felt good that I wasn't at all attracted to what I saw but I was now suffering from severe PTSD and things went from bad to worse. ( Seriously! Never watch anything like that, PLEASE!) These horrible things I saw made me feel soo bad that I needed a boost... So I watched porn and I felt worse because I couldn't enjoy it anymore.
  
• Seventh attempt: This attempt lasted 8 days, here's why: I talked to my wife about it every day, I started doing the work, therapy, videos on the subject, help online, etc. I knew I needed to get over it because I was having nightmares and I wanted to end everything. It felt surreal, I felt like all of this was a huge jump out of nowhere, from watching Brazzers to these horrible things... But as I talked with my psychologist and my wife I realized that it wasn't out of nowhere, she told me about how porn was a spiral that's always moving down but also moving to the side as it falls, about how you are constantly looking for worse things as you time goes by and about how you end up altering your chemistry to the point in which you create a cycle and so on...
  

On the ninth day I reached a point in which I saw that it was possible to take back your sexuality after a sexual trauma experience and I tried that, so I watched porn (Regular classic stuff) and... It sucked, I felt bad, had lots of PTSD and I felt like shit during and afterwards. Even though I had my wife's support, my therapist approval and healing as a purpose... I felt really bad.

• Eight attempt: After I did it, I felt terrible and I realized that there was no going back, so I quit.
  
• Day 1 - 2: First two days were easy to be honest, I've been trying to quit this addiction for over three months by now so 2 days was simple.
  
• Day 3 - 11: I was working on myself every day, seeing lots of videos on the subject (My favorites from Dr. Trish Leigh on YouTube), doing exercise everyday, eating better, talking to my partner, learning daily about depression, PTSD, Trauma, sexual trauma, addiction, porn addiction and so on.
  

These days are hard, really hard because your body is suffering from a lack of serotonin, endorphins and dopamine and you have to get those from other sources like exercise, laughter, doing something you love and keeping yourself healthy both in body and mind.

• Day 12 - 19: Those days are horrible! Your body resets very slowly so you feel anxious and you feel the low impact of whitdral tearing you down, but don't worry, after day 20 it gets better.
  
• Day 20 - 28: Now your body is better. Your hormones are slightly better, you start losing weight and your skin gets better thanks to the Better eating habits and the exercise. Now your mind is the issue, you realize once your body is better than your mind also needs help, the way you think about the world is wrong, same with people, sex and yourself; here's when you must KEEP GOING! You need to do your research on psychological help, therapy and talk to someone in real life about your addiction.
  

Apparently this time is where most people relapse but I was lucky to only have a slip-up (Slip-Up: A small lack of discipline, meaning taking a beer but not getting drunk for alcoholics or watching a sexy model on Instagram for 5 minutes but not watching porn nor masturbating for porn addiction). I dealt with it, cleaned my social media and got better.
(PS. You have to delete X/Twitter and Telegram, let me repeat that, YOU HAVE TO DELETE X/TWITTER AND TELEGRAM!!!! You have to! Those things will never let you get clean, there's no exceptions here, you have to! Even if you X account is all about football or videogames and nothing else, it doesn't matter, delete it!)
I'll post the rest on part 3.
-Angel

You may find that triggering or you may go right to we're on some massive ego trip, but it's the truth as I see it. We've come to this world at the end of this cycle as students of life of course, but our higheinner selves have accumulated enough wisdom and experience from other lifetimes and roles to be the way showers and teachers into a whole new way of being and disseminate a new awareness that has long been forgotten in this world.
Starseeds, old souls, volunteers, etc, are here to help us remember. They're not to be worshipped or looked upon as better or more majestic. We are here simply to support this process that is initiated by the Universal creator, Gaia, and by our Star, Helios.
We're not androids, we didn't all incarnate into this Universe at the same time from the Infinite nature of life. Some have been here since the beginning and are striving towards a new state of being that the whole Universe is also striving towards. Being Infinite means we have never been created, we always have been and always will be.
We are also balancing our karma so that's also why our awakening has been so tumultuous and continues to be. I feel we're reaching a point of equilibrium soon as we approach zero point over the next few years.
Look, I don't care how out of the box all of this sounds. I'm very particular about who I share this type of information with. I have a few friends who I can speak to freely which I'm grateful for. I have a "normal life" a good job, and a place to call my own. I can manage my 3d responsibilities as a man, but still I come to these conclusions and I still have these knowings deep in my core.
Even on this sub, some don't believe any of this. That's alright, you have to come to these conclusions yourself with your own experiences. I can't tell you anything, we each have to figure out for ourselves who we are, and what our own deepest knowings beyond the distortions are and the mental and cultural programming of this corrupted world we live in. Delores Cannon called it. The split between those who are willing to look at themselves through and through and those who won't. It means looking at our minds and programs that are keeping us negative and thinking in a very limited fashion.
The New Earth timeline is here and is the organic, original intention for this world to exist in the first place. Gaia, the spirit and soul of this planet is holding space for us to go through this and is also going through this with us as equals and friends.
Keep being real and keep expressing your deeply held knowledge.

I dont want to say what i do when i get into a self destructive mode because i find it embarrassing and morally wrong. When i say morally wrong its not something illegal or even widely regarded as terrible but in my head it goes against all my morals. I think thats why i keep going back to doing it when i feel empty or depressed or anxious or anything like that.
Truthfully it makes me suicidal and i dont know how to stop it. I feel absolutely disgusted that i do this and i want to end my life because of it. I hate that i am an absolute freak and i hate that i have to keep breathing. I dont know how to stop the cycle of shame and going back to this bs

I was a wreck 2 weeks post breakup, (I was the one broken up with, 29F, by 32M) however now a month out, I have had a lot of good days where I've hardly thought about it. Today however is not one of those days and I want everyone to know that it truly does come in waves, and this feeling will pass! Trust the process and constantly remind yourself of why this person wasn't a good match for YOU. There is so much more to this life than the guy or gal who broke your heart. Sometimes you have to force yourself to keep moving forward and give yourself some tough love to snap out of the obsessive cycle of thoughts. You got this!

Hey Reddit,
I'm a 16-year-old guy facing some challenges that many of you might relate to. As a teenager, I've been struggling with self-esteem issues due to being overweight and frequently being the target of bullying. On top of that, I suspect I might have ADHD and potentially autism, which can make social interactions and daily life quite difficult.
Despite these struggles, I've found a passion in programming since I was just 8 years old. Despite the happiness and comfort programming brings me, it doesn't diminish the struggles I'm experiencing, and my potential ADHD further complicates things by causing me to invest excessive amounts of time in this passion. As a result, I often feel like I'm wasting time and not making visible progress in other areas of my life that could offer more immediate results. Anxiety and depression often leave me feeling isolated, incapable, and unmotivated. Even though I manage to maintain decent grades, I can't help but feel like I'm constantly falling short.
In an attempt to break out of this negative cycle, I recently took the initiative to interview for a job at McDonald's. While this was a step in the right direction in my opinion, it's hard to escape the feelings of self-doubt and lack of quantity that seem to plague me. I'm the guy who's been told he's fat, dumb, and also the guy who makes thoose jokes that no one laughs at, always left behind in social situations. It's gotten to the point where I'm seeking guidance and support from this community, as I write this post instead of making progress elsewhere.
I'd really appreciate any advice on how to start turning my life around and finding a way out of this place in life. Thanks for taking the time to read my story. I'm looking forward to hearing your suggestions and learning from your experiences.

As we all know most men coming out of the African American community are coming from single mother households. A lot of these young boys are surrounded by feminine energy since birth and the African American community being a matriarch is not helping them.
They have to go through life searching for masculine role models to fill that void of where their actual father should be. Those that go the bluepill route will Idolize rappers and chase pussy for the rest of their lives. The higher IQ ones that want to be something and improve tend to eventually find the redpill and end up on this side of the internet.
Those that peak and see shit for what it really is and want to break the cycle eventually become men like Kevin Samuels, CGA, Tommy Sotomayor, FNF, Minister Jap, Steph IS Cold. The list goes on... In my opinion the men that tend to be the most critical of this community actually care the most.
In conclusion, the African American community as it stands is the result of taking the strong father figure out of the family and letting women take the reigns. Don't end up like us.
Also shout out to u/eventualwarlord for holding these German shepherds accountable SYSBM

I have absolutely no idea what to do. I have nobody to rely on. I don't know what to do. I am 19f. My life is a complete shit show. I was bullied not only emotionally but physically throughout my childhood, primarily due to being neurodivergent, though I didn't know that at the time, just thought I was "weird" and nobody liked me despite being a kind kid. I was obsesssed with early childhood education, reading books by Maria Montessori and writing teaching philosophy statements at the age of 8. I was paralyzed for about a year at the age of 11 and suffered severe medical trauma in the hospital as well. I felt my autonomy was stripped away from me and various professionals there, looking back, were abusive and negligent. There in the hospital I remember wanting to die for the first time. When I got out, the bullying just got worse because now I had the whole being-in-a-wheelchair-thing going against me too. I ended up doing stupid shit to impress my peers and try to make friends, which just meant that I was constantly getting into trouble as a younger teen, which didn't help my mental health. I tried to kill myself at 13. My mom slapped me in the face while I was bleeding from my wrists and told me I was going to ruin her reputation and that I couldn't go to the hospital. I really needed stitches, I still have very visible scars from that day. She sewed holes in some long sleeved shirts for me to put my thumbs through to hide my arms at school and told me not to tell anyone. Things were never the same between me and my parents. I began at 14 seeking validation from adult men online. It was stupid and reckless, but it helped in the moment. I was kidnapped a week before I was supposed to start high school by a 33 year old man. He drove me to a different state 500 miles away, raped me, and tried to strangle me to death before police came. They treated me like a suspect and handcuffed me and made me sit in a cold car for 3 hours in the middle of the night. There was an amber alert sent out all over. I was put in a psych ward for about a week and then began 9th grade at a new school as "the girl from the amber alert" to everyone around me. Everyone was talking about it and asking for specifics and making jokes about what happened to me. It also made me a target for older boys who thought it was evidence that I was easy to manipulate. One of them ended up being the reason I had to leave school a month later. I did online school with my now emotionally abusive parents for several months before starting at a new school. But then, covid shut everything down again, and it was all taken away from me. My mental health was terrible and my parents opted for an unhelpful tough love approach. I became very hypersexual due to my trauma, which ended in me being assaulted more times than one. My parents blamed me and began to resent me, their words not mine. I entered a long term relationship at 16 with a boy I truly loved, we will call him K. K got me pregnant and I wanted to keep it, but my parents forced me to get an abortion with illegal drugs. It was traumatizing and I spiraled. A mentor figure who was a family friend betrayed me horribly. K got me pregnant again. I was on birth control, though everyone believes it was intentional, it was not. My parents said I could either get an abortion or leave home, so I moved out at 17. I got my shit together. For a while, things were good. I got an associates degree incredibly quickly and began a successful career in early childhood education as I had always dreamed. I worked my way up to a lead teacher at 18 and loved it. K and I were so happy. He proposed. The kind of true love most people never get to experience. Most of my peers drifted away during my pregnancy. I didn't care, I had K, my unborn baby, and my job. Then, while in labor, I found out K was cheating on me the entire time. I forgave him and we tried again, though I was postpartum and heartbroken. I stayed home with my newborn son while he worked, or so I thought. Really, he got fired or never went to every job I thought he had. He would drive there and turn his data off so his location was set there all day. He would stage pictures and talk about work. Really he was cheating, doing drugs, and playing video games while I was at home with our baby. His anger issues got worse and he'd get violent but not to the extent that I couldn't justify it to myself. His whole family knew. The cycle of him being caught and apologizing profusely and then doing it again went on for a while before he said that he needed to get out of his house where his cheater DV father was impeding his progress in getting better. I love him. It made sense, his dad was clearly where the behavior stemmed from. I left my housing program to get him out and we all 3 lived in hotels for a few months. I had to sell my body to afford a place for us to live. I was working full time as a lead teacher it just wasn't enough. He still couldn't keep a job but he wasn't lying or cheating. I got us a nice apartment all on my own. Things were good for a while. His anger issues would flair up at times but not as bad, and no lying or infidelity. We had so many heart to hearts. We got married. I did great at my job. He started doordashing for income. Things were going well. Then 6 months into our marriage, about 9 months after we moved out/7 months after we got our apartment, he sprung on me that he wanted a divorce. That was about 7 months ago now. We have been living together and I have been hoping to rebuild. In his vows, he swore so sincerely and in such great heartfelt detail to do better and be better and stand by me. And then he just through it all away. He has been so mean lately. Sometimes things are okay and it's like everything is the same. But he thinks I don't clean enough even though I try and he says I don't support him emotionally even though I really feel like I do. I also pay for everything, I even bought him an 800 dollar PC a couple months ago. I got really sick a month ago. Like vomiting 10+ times a day. I thought I had a stomach bug and didn't have money to go to the doctor over something so trivial that would clear up on its own. I made too much for medicaid but still not a lot. After only 4 days of being gone and feeling like shit, my work fired me. After another week or so of feeling sick and getting so weak I thought I was dying, I went to the hospital. They said all the vomiting had made me very dehydrated and I was lacking in a lot of vitamins. They gave me medicine and an IV. Turns out I'm pregnant and have HG. I'm pretty far along. At first K was supportive but now he acts like I'm trying to "trap" him with a baby, which doesn't even make sense. We were having unprotected sex and the only birth control was that I am breastfeeding, which he knew, so it isn't that crazy of an outcome. He has been so cruel and angry, saying terrible things. He threatens to leave when he gets mad so I beg him to stay because he knows I'd be all alone and I love him a lot. He has said some terribly cruel things and it's like every tiny thing I do wrong makes me the villain. Yesterday he blew up on me and it was scary and terrible. Today, I found out the few friends I thought I had hate me. One of them sent me the most cruel message I have ever received completely unprompted. I have no family support, no friends, my husband hates me, and everyone I've ever cared about except my son (who is different because he's too young to understand and he loves everyone and he is also a responsibility) wants nothing to do with me unless they are using me. I am so suicidal. I know a lot of people are suicidal but I am genuinely at a point where I am close to doing something I can't take back. But I can't because of my kids, both the 1 year old and the unborn one. And as much as I know I should be grateful for that, it feels so unfair. I've been having to do things I don't want to for money again. I have another great teaching job lined up but I don't start for at least a month. I feel like I should go to a hospital but I live in a state with a very high child removal rate even in cases of just mental health. I am a great mom, even though my husband and ex friends do not seem to agree. I can't risk having my fitness as a parent called into question over an unrelated mental health issue, especially since K's family and lots of people in my life would love the chance to lie about me to cps, and since I'm not employed right now, it doesn't look great. I don't know what to do. I feel so alone. I'm so so hurt. It feels like everything is falling apart. Not that long ago, I was a lead teacher, a wife, I felt like a respected and respectable person. Now I just feel like my train wreck of a life full of trauma has taunted me with this perfect picket fence life that I worked so hard for just to rip it away from me and leave me a useless unemployed incubator that everyone hates and is only holding on for her kids sake. The only people who talk to me or "care" just want to fuck me. Even the people interested in a relationship with me and seem like "good Christian men" are still driven by lust even if they disguise it to themselves. I have never felt so hopeless. I feel like I don't deserve this but everyone from my partner to my parents to my ex friends seem to think I do so maybe I'm just fooling myself.

I know there’s a fair amount of posts in here about similar topics, but just wanted to throw my two cents in here.
I’ve had IBS-D for much of my life but was only recently “diagnosed” with it (about 2 yrs ago) after symptoms worsened. My main triggers are/were garlic, onion, corn, and most kinds of lettuce/leafy greens.
I also recently dealt with a relatively mild (but still annoying) case of C-Diff. After Dificid, the C-Diff was gone, but was still having some pretty bad IBS flare ups.
My GI doctor recommended Florastor, and once I started taking 2/day, I almost immediately noticed a change. I wouldn’t go as far to say that I’m cured of my IBS, but I quickly returned to having normal BMs. I can tolerate WAY more of my trigger foods than I could even before the C-Diff, and overall I just feel much better most of the time. And that, of course, has helped a lot with the anxiety I was feeling about it all, which has helped break that awful anxiety/IBS cycle.
Obviously it doesn’t work for anybody, it is still early, and it is quite expensive, but it is DEFINITELY worth a shot if you’re debating trying it.

[Discussion] The Power of Vulnerability: Reminding Ourselves of Our Shared Humanity
Hey fellow Redditors! I couldn't help but ponder upon one of life's fundamental aspects recently - vulnerability. It seems like society has conditioned us to perceive vulnerability as a weakness, something to be avoided at all costs. But what if I told you that embracing vulnerability can actually lead to immense personal growth, deeper connections, and an overall sense of fulfillment?
Here are a few thoughts on the matter:
• Vulnerability connects us: In a hyper-connected world where everyone is constantly projecting an image of success and happiness, we often forget that vulnerability is what truly binds us together. When we share our fears, struggles, and insecurities with others, we allow them to see our authentic selves. This openness in turn encourages others to do the same, fostering empathy, compassion, and understanding in our relationships.
• Vulnerability fosters personal growth: Stepping outside our comfort zones and exposing our vulnerabilities unleashes a wealth of opportunities for personal growth. By acknowledging our weaknesses and embracing the possibility of failure, we challenge ourselves to learn, adapt, and become better versions of ourselves. It is through vulnerability that we confront our limitations, conquer our fears, and forge new paths towards self-improvement.
• Vulnerability cultivates trust: Trust serves as the cornerstone of any meaningful relationship, be it romantic, platonic, or professional. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we extend trust to others. By revealing our true selves, we demonstrate our confidence in their ability to accept us without judgment. This reciprocation of trust establishes a foundation for deeper connections, intimacy, and collaboration.
• Vulnerability confronts shame: Shame is a powerful force that often holds us back from fully embracing vulnerability. We fear judgment, rejection, and ridicule. However, vulnerability is the antidote to shame. By shedding light on our insecurities, we strip away the power they hold over us and prevent them from overshadowing our potential. It is only through vulnerability that we can break free from the paralyzing grip of shame and reclaim our authentic selves.
But how can we foster vulnerability in our own lives?
• Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would extend to a loved one. Embrace your imperfections and recognize that vulnerability is an essential part of the human experience.
• Seek supportive communities: Surround yourself with individuals who value vulnerability and create a safe space for sharing. Engage in open conversations where everyone feels comfortable being their authentic selves without fear of judgment or ridicule.
• Lead by example: Break the cycle of vulnerability stigma by becoming a role model for others. Share your own experiences, struggles, and triumphs, encouraging others to do the same. By fostering a culture of vulnerability, you can inspire change and create a ripple effect in your community.
Remember, vulnerability should not be mistaken for oversharing or debasing oneself. It is about embracing our humanity, acknowledging our weaknesses, and accepting that courage lies in our ability to be seen and heard, even when it feels uncomfortable.
So, fellow Redditors, I'd love to hear your perspectives on vulnerability. How has embracing vulnerability impacted your life? Have you experienced moments where vulnerability led to personal growth or stronger connections? Let's engage in a thoughtful conversation and remind ourselves of the power that vulnerability holds in shaping our lives.

Whenever things are going good in my life, when i get opportunities, whatever it is, i remember this singular thing i did as a 7/8 year old child. i am constantly trying to prevent it (this memory) from ruining my life and stopping me from living and experiencing good things. I don't really need advice because i already know it is not an option to punish myself over a mistake i made as a child, but i cannot help but obsess over this and the details of it all. no matter how many times i go over it, it is just a constant cycle of feeling biggest regret i have felt in my entire life and then trying to reassure myself of everything i worry about pertaining to it. i wonder what the threshold of time will be for how long this will have to pop into my mind and destroy my mood. Does anyone else relate?

Hi. I (33M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (31F) for the past year. We have been doing long-distance and it's been difficult, to put it lightly. I have been a certain way my whole life and have never really addressed it. I can be stubborn, irritable, and irrationally angry. Basically, I can be an asshole. Until now, I've sort of just accepted it's who I am and that I get it from my father. However this has obviously taken a toll on my girlfriend and she is at a point where she is done with the relationship. In addition to the above, she has often felt like I don't care about her needs/feelings and that I've never made her feel special. We would have fights and discussions and she would tell me how she feels and what she needs. She often felt insecure because of how I would react and get so angry at times and threaten the relationship. I would always claim that I can do better and that it won't continue. However it would continue. I would think I could handle these things myself but I just couldn't. After several cycles of this, it just wore her down to having no confidence in us.
I've always had an excuse for my behavior. I first blamed it on my diagnosed ADD thinking that treatment for that would help (it did slightly), then I blamed external factors such as stress surrounding our plans or my anxiety disorder. At no point did I really accept that the reason for so much of our troubles was simply just me and whatever internal issues I have.
It's been a couple of weeks since we last saw each other. We spent a month together and my bulls*it caused so many fights, arguments, and general negativity and a big fight on our last day really pushed her away. It's very clear she has lost a lot of love for me and she doesn't see how this can work. It's made me really acknowledge my ignorance in the past and how I've essentially ruined this relationship single-handedly.
I don't understand why I've acted the way I have, despite always feeling like she is the love of my life. I feel that way now more than ever before. Being with her is all I want. I've accepted everything that's happened and am committed to being everything she wanted and needs. I have been getting support from friends with what I can do and am starting therapy for the first time next week to start understanding why I have always been this way and what I can do to correct those negative behaviors. I want so desperately to be better and not let any of those past issues be present going forward with her. Not only specific to this relationship, I'm just committed to being a better person without those issues present in my life. I hate that I've been this way and will do whatever I can to change it.
I have been trying to convince her how committed I am to making this work and being a great partner, however she doesn't see how it can happen. I'm sort of at a loss for what to do. I can't handle the idea of being without her and will do whatever I can to show her that, but she says "the damage is done."
So my question is 1, is changing these behaviors realistic? And 2, how do I explain to her that what's happened in the past will not be what we are going forward?

Also posted this on migraine but got no responses: https://www.reddit.com/migraine/comments/1ctd77k/mood_flips_between_episodes_anyone_else/
The TLDR of that post: I've weekly migraines (often 2 days in a row), and very often the day after my migraine episode I will cycle moods. Begin last week I felt great and was very productive, then had a migraine on wednesday (where I still pushed through it to finish my aircon setup).. and since thursday I'm stuck in a rut again. I've been enduring a lot of shit since last few months, and ever since the cycling has become worse. I fully expect another episode to come tomorrow or next week in which I will swing back up..
My therapist always cut me short in my explanation of my moods, saying that "of course migraines will make you feel depressed! it's horrible", and that my current life situation right now is what it is ("shit"). ((Ugh, thanks for nothing I guess...)) However, today I countered saying that I can also feel great euphoria after migraines, but on other days I can cry for 3 hours straight.
Then the days after.. that mood usually sticks around for a week, after which I have another migraine and cycle back. I go from [[quiet, lethargic, sad, nervous, impolite & frustrated]] to [[energetic, productive, loud, irritable and (as my friends would describe) a walking soundboard and perhaps also a bit crazy]] (me and my friends are all autistic so what gives)... and vice versa. The days of migraine themselves can feel a bit mixed though.
Anyhow, I wonder if people relate with the above. I have a real hard time figuring out if my migraines or my mood swings are cause/effect. Talking to a neurologist and psychiatrist on their own, so far, hasn't given any satisfactory explanations IMO. I hope to visit a better psychiatrist soon that perhaps better understands what I'm on about.. then again most things I read about bipolar talk about mood cycling in terms of 'X per year' and not 'X per month' so I'm not sure what it will bring after some long diagnosis period at first...