What are some clever sayings

Suicide by words

2017.09.21 21:03 Eronine Suicide by words

A sub about self inflicted insults.
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2016.03.01 20:50 adamdavenport Unethical Life Pro Tips

An Unethical Life Pro Tip (or ULPT) is a tip that improves your life in a meaningful way, perhaps at the expense of others and/or with questionable legality. Due to their nature, do not actually follow any of these tips–they're just for fun. Share your best tips you've picked up throughout your life, and learn from others!
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2008.01.25 04:52 Ask Reddit...

AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions.
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2024.05.21 21:49 Spandex_Etiano DEBATE: BIG TECH NEEDS MAJOR DISRUPTION

DISCLAIMER: This is a RANT that's going here as someone who just graduated from SOA, and I'm sure there's discourse that's already been going on for a while around what I have to say that I'm just new to it but what I have to say just feels urgent to shout at a bunch of people, but specifically people who might be receptive/interested in taking action on it/at least thinking through it and debating it. SO while there might be a better space for this post, we'll see what moderators and anyone else on here might think.
SO:
As title states. IMO Big Tech has really truly gotten out of hand in controlling and having influence over every aspect of human culture and society globally; way, WAY too much power. I think this is real bad and a lot of us aren't vibing with it, and we should be trying to disrupt Big Tech's power.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ibMd_Jx9daw&t=1s
This conversation about AI in music/Spotify sparked a march larger chain of thought in me about something that I took for granted but didn't realize the scope of. Across nearly every industry, Big Tech is running mass/macro culture into the ground. Movie studios don't take risks on things because all profits rely on streaming services (no more Blockbuster rentals to make up box office losses). All forms of media, entertainment, even journalism or information, the whole game of content--
I don't know if anyone else has felt this way, but I feel like the algorithms feeding me content every day don't even work at hacking my lizard brain anymore like they used to; I mean most of the shit they show me on social media and other apps these days just doesn't hold my attention or interest me any more. It feels like, no offense STEM peeps, your services and function in society and humanity is vital, but seems like fueled by the structures of capitalism, a bunch of STEM peeps in Silicon Valley thought they could reduce the human spirit to math and engineering, and the feeling I have of cultural stagnation seems to me to prove the overstep of Tech Companies incentivized to grow ceaselessly with no greater reason than higher stock prices.
Has anyone else not felt like art and culture has been kind of stagnant lately? Art and culture has been taken over my tech companies and on the macro level, shit is just bad an uninspired and I feel like we're all really in need of many kinds of revolution, but also one that's more a humanistic creative artistic and cultural revolution.
Does Tech really need to just keep advancing? I'm not convinced humanity is doomed unless Tech companies just keep expanding and exploding and completely shifting the entire nature of the human experience in a single human lifetime. I'm not convinced that's necessary or inevitable. I'm not anti-tech either, but I think the version we've gotten of monopolized capitalist tech corps turning our digital commons into a deeply surveilled Digital Disney World is not inevitable.
I'm speculating here, but I'm day-dreaming about young creatives, inspired STEM peeps, perhaps even some of YOU, who might be trying to figure out how to make new decentralized internet, how to create more new micro internet culture. Create hardware systems that people can access and allows them to communicate with other people in different ways than devices created by corporations; DEI software and hardware not owned and controllled by corporations, almost a vision of anarchist tech, with clever people using the comms systems already in place to let the masses know and teach them about these new spaces forming on new internets and new systems that massive corps can't control. Make virtual meeting spaces and modes of communication that aren't owned by Musk, Bezos, and Zuck.
I know shit like this already exists and it immediately gets targeted (and i'm sure sometimes fairly when it's actually used by criminals and terrorists)--but I believe the right people are clever enough to design something that could be innocent and benign enough to really break through and disrupt the monopoly of the tech corps.
We can do better tech, better internet, and we can disrupt the power of these tech companies, because a handful of these assholes have just been going to town on human civilization for the last decade and these mfs need to be put in their place. I don't believe we have to inevitably plow into a cyberpunk dystopia; I think the last few months on campus should have everyone here in agreement that if enough people feel strongly enough about something and choose to resist it together, things can happen.
submitted by Spandex_Etiano to columbia [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 20:18 FarActuator3194 This series... frustrates me.

I like chainsaw man, love it actually. Became a fan back when chapter 45 dropped and I've been following since (top 5 series for me currently). But as the title suggests I've recently been frustrated with the series and i kinda want to go on a rant about it. Now I'm not gonna go on a whole essay long yap fest but I kinda just want to share some of my thoughts and frustrations. You're free to listen, you're free to disagree.
The overuse of cliffhangers
For me this really became a problem in the "dating denji arc" (whatever the wiki calls it☠) I feel like this right here is when my problems started happening. I was cool with the spinal cord sword cliffhanger. I thought the cliffhangers were clever at first and a funny way to subvert expectations ) Then the nayuta one happened.... I was already not a fan of the memory erasure thing. I felt it was a cheap and forced drama tactic but I gave it a chance. Then the Yoshida one happened... and it just kept going and going...
Next characterization
Denji. I like denji I really do but he feels like he never developed aside from today's chapter and even then it feels like something he should've learned back in part 1 it just feels like he took five steps back. He resisted alone time with makima to help power get through her depression yet now he's going to get random pussy instead of saving his sister? I could go on about denji but ill leave it here. Quanxi I never really liked quanxi since she was boring in part 1 but now she's worse imo. With her only showing up to no diff everyone.
Nothing burger chapters There have been so many chapters in part 2 that feel like nothing is happening. No im not expecting the death devil to come out, no im not always expecting asaden. But what I am expecting is actual content in a chapter. There are alot of chapters with a few words are spoken and characters just stand and stare at each other, maybe a character will say something but it will likely be used as a joke for the beginning of the next chapter and then it will lead into a 2 week break. There's a reason why the mangaplus comments on chainsawman always talk about its 10 second read and a reason readers on Twitter can only post a few panels cause there is nothing else otherwise.
Art quality I'll give fujimoto a slight pass on this one since drawing a manga every week (even bi-weekly) isn't easy and im pretty sure he doesn't have any assistants either. But It would be crazy to deny the drop of quality from part 1 (even early part 2's) art. Overall I still like chainsaw man and I will continue to follow and maybe glaze it in the near future but I can't deny my frustration and dissapointnent with it currently.
submitted by FarActuator3194 to Chainsawfolk [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 19:18 darksydex3226 An idea to lean into Yone's "Assassin" role

Disclaimer: I don't claim to be an expert or that this build will be any good, or that there aren't better item options, etc. I'm sure others can come up with something more viable. I just thought it was fun to think of Yone in a different way due to recent changes.
Thanks for your time.
Electrocute Yone
According to his character profile on the LoL website, Yone is an Assassin. I was thinking of ways to lean into this role due to the recent changes.
This Yone isn't looking for 3v1s vs the beefy boys, but instead looking to use clever angles, vision, and his dash-heavy tools for successful roams, and wreaking havoc on the back line during intense team fights, similar to Zed. Goes without saying, but I'm thinking with mid lane in mind. Sadly this build is way more team dependent, as it requires them to engage and eat CD timers.
Let's talk about the Electrocute Keystone. It doesn't scale well, but as we know Yone does, so this rune might be the answer to make up for poor early game. It's easy to activate as Yone can confirm a 3 hit combo with little to no effort. Utilizing this might be what he needs to keep his enemy laner on their toes or god forbid snowball a lead.
For the 3 primary runes, I'm looking at Sudden Impact. Yone has a kit full of dashes and blinks, and bushes are a big part of the game plan too. I'm also looking at Taste of Blood, but unsure. Perhaps if your opponent is a beefier mid lane like Galio this might be worth a try, but for the sake of this concept, I'm sticking with SI, but I can't rule out ToB, I think both are worth exploring.
Eyeball collector is obvious.
The third row is also worth exploring, I think Bounty is nice to scale faster, but ultimate hunter seems like a go-to choice, and even relentless hunter might not be awful for roams, sidelaning, and positioning. For now we'll go with Ultimate, but I feel like all 3 could be an option depending on enemy comp and what you're trying to accomplish on a game to game basis.
For the second tree, I am looking at Legend: Alacrity and Coup De Grace. These are consistent choices you'd run with a Yellow Keystone, might as well have them.
For tiny runes, Attack Speed, Adaptive Force, and matchup dependent for the third row, with perhaps the base health being a go-to choice for healthier trading and farming early, but with so much CC in the game, and it being our worst enemy, I think it's tenacity in most cases.
For the first item, I'm not going to break the mold. I think Zerker Greaves are still the prime choice. We need AD in our next item, so a recurve bow item is probably the best bet, sadly. I was looking at Bork, but there's also Kraken Slayer. This can add more burst damage, so I think this is it, but Bork also makes a great case with sustain and a slow effect for combo confirms. I'm on the fence about which one to take, but definitely one of the two. At least there's some build variance, perhaps KS into favorable and Bork otherwise. I can't recommend Wits End due to lack of AD, but that tenacity sure does look nice.
Now we desperately need crit, and a way to E back to our body before being killed, so I'm looking at the Shieldbow. I think, if you are ahead (by some miracle) an IE is the pick, but let's assume this is real life and you're not ahead. Playing around your Shieldbow CD will be crucial, and I wouldn't engage skirmishes/team fights without it unless circumstances are favorable (big CDs down, squishy on opposite side of the map of entire team and pushed past river, etc).
Item 4 is IE for sicko mode burst and you'll be able to assist your team in fighting frontliners after getting squishy kills... if you don't need to run off bloody and beaten. I think times like that'll be few and far between, but with this item you should be able to easily dispatch the backline and run away with a good team engage followed by your jump scare ambush.
For a 5th item, I think the Bloodthirster looks solid. It adds a lot of AD, well needed sustain (especially if you're Borkless), and it's another shield on top of your other shields. However, and hear me out... if you are having trouble recalling E due to CC, take a look at the Mercurial Scimitar. It comes with AD, Lifesteal, MR, and a unique active that ensures you can recast E. I'd say it's a good "training wheels" item if you aren't great at focusing on enemy CDs and dodging abilities.
The final item, the variable slot! I'm not sure how viable GA is because when you're jumping the backline all the Frontline has to do is back pedal from the teamfight and take you out after coming out of stasis, with that being said, if you went BT, Merc Scimitar might be good, and vice versa. I'm also thinking a Collector might not be bad for easier secures, but probably overkill. If the team has heavy healing there's the Mortals Reminder, which comes with a lot of components we like anyway. Lord doms for heavy armor, or a Spirit Visage for heavy AP as well as complementing your lifesteal and shields. If you need armor I think Death Dance makes a case with AD as well as a useful passive that can get you out of a sticky on takedowns. I haven't thought this part out too hard if I'm being honest, I feel like there's a lot of good cases to be made for the variable slot, and I'm not great when it comes to itemizing and synergies.
Clearing vision is paramount for successful ambushes, so be sure to have a pink ward and scanner handy in most scenarios.
Thanks for your time, and let me know if you gave it a try. I play on the phone exclusively now, and thankfully we still have LT, but I'm considering trying this build concept for fun in norms....
And to be prepared for when the inevitable day of reckoning comes.
submitted by darksydex3226 to YoneMains [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 18:30 yelpvinegar The 7 Types of Startup Founders: Why It Matters To You

What’s the #1 thing every founder needs to know?

I’ll give you a few minutes to make a list — top of mind might include sales, marketing, technology, product management (especially product-market fit), technical skills, fundraising, team building, leadership, management, finance, and planning/executing strategic growth and scaling.
Sure… but, sorry, none of that is the correct answer. Because, of course, you know that founders typically are expected to be jacks of all trades. So yes, to all of the above, but that’s not the secret sauce.
The #1 thing every founder needs to know is… themself.
Here’s the truth: founders start companies, and entrepreneurs build them. While not every entrepreneur is a founder (think franchise owners), every founder is an entrepreneur (at least initially).
If you’re like me, you are a forward-obsessed founder. That means where you are now is always building toward where you want to go. That person is always an entrepreneur. Once the company is started, you’ll do what it takes — including relinquishing control — to keep it growing.
Does that sting? We founders think of our companies as our babies, but statistics say we’re likely to be the ones kicked out of the nest. Also, research shows that in the US, only 14 out of the top selling 500 companies still have the original founder running the company. And the Harvard Business Review reports that most founders relinquish control long before their companies go public — and that four out of five are forced to step down as CEO.
It doesn’t have to be that way if you have one critical attribute: self-awareness. That way, you can decide as your company grows how you want to evolve your role in the overall day-to-day running of the company (i.e., learn, delegate, hire, move on). And ultimately, you can make better choices at critical growth junctures in your business progression.
So, to help you become more self-aware, it’s helpful to understand the different types of founders. Let’s dive in.

The Types of Founders

A couple of notes before we get into specifics:
The bottom line: knowing your strongest/weakest points is a critical piece of the self-awareness pie. That way, you can conduct your business in what I call the Green Zone — aka the Genius Zone, where you have both high passion and high competence — and make the best choices for you and your company.

1. The Solo Founder

Traits:
Benefits:
Pitfalls:
Example: Sara Blakely, Spanx Founder
Ten years ago, in 2012, when she was just 38, Sara Blakely became the world’s youngest self-made female billionaire. Her business, built on a significant industry gap (the lack of comfortable, effective shapewear) and her incredible sales hustle, also benefited greatly from Blakely’s abundant self-awareness. Here’s her advice to solo founders at a 2020 business conference:
“I tell people as soon as you can afford to hire your weaknesses, do it… As soon as I could afford to hire someone to do more of the operations side of the business, I did. As an entrepreneur, one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself is to stay in your lane.”
In other words, know what your Green Zone is and play there.
If you’re like Blakely, it’s usually big ideas and sales ability (she could easily qualify as a Visionary Founder, too) or operations and execution (what Blakely realized she needed help with).
Pro tip: If you’re a solo founder, you’ll likely want to lean into an entrepreneurial framework like the Entrepreneurial Operating System (EOS) to help you define and settle into which side you skew toward.

2. The Visionary Founder (or Co-founders)

Traits:
Benefits:
Pitfalls:
Example: Steve Jobs & Steve Wozniak
Considering that Steve Jobs’ name is pretty much synonymous with “visionary,” I don’t think I need to list more than the products and industries Jobs’ revolutionized at Apple and beyond — Apple Computers, iPod (iTunes), iPad, iPhone, Pixar, iCloud — with many products and points in between. George Lucas, from whom Jobs bought the Graphics Group at Lucasfilm and renamed it “Pixar,” perfectly summarizes his superpower:
“The magic of Steve was that while others simply accepted the status quo, he saw the true potential in everything he touched and never compromised on that vision.”
Steve Wozniak was the technological yin to Jobs’ sales and marketing yang, bringing the vision of a computer with a graphic interface to life. From the visionary files, “Woz” also invented the first programmable universal remote and was an early innovator of wireless GPS (thanks to his clever dogs who routinely evaded electronic fences).

3. The Serial Disruptor

Traits:
Benefits:
Pitfalls:
Example: Elon Musk
Like him or loathe him, Elon Musk is perhaps the most prolific (and successful) serial founder of all time with startups including Tesla, SpaceX, The Boring Company, and Neuralink, among others. His drive to design opportunities to evolve humanity has redefined both hustle culture and the art of serial entrepreneurship.
For serial founders, having a set of principles is key to their success. In Musk’s case, his use of “first principles” — reducing a process to its essential parts — has served him well, from helping him figure out how to make rockets cheaper and reusable (SpaceX) to shifting the narrative of electric vehicles (Tesla).

4. The Engineer

Traits:
Benefits:
Pitfalls:
Example: Mark Zuckerberg
Much like the other examples I’m sharing, Mark Zuckerberg’s story has been widely told, so you probably know about his development of Facebook. But at his core, Zuckerberg is an engineering prodigy and geek. At just 13 in 1997, he built “ZuckNet,” which enabled the family’s home computers to communicate via Ping (a precursor of AOL’s Instant Messenger) with his father’s dental office computers. He was using AI in his senior year in high school, so the roots of his Meta(verse) focus today are apparent.
A common weakness for engineers is they tend to have a lower EQ, which has been well-researched. As a former engineer, I understand how logic and technology come easier than understanding human behavior. This is why tech founders should seek out mentors early and bring in competent leaders with high EQ and leadership skills — for example, Zuckerberg credits his former COO of 14 years, Sheryl Sandberg, for turning the company into a multi-billion dollar company.

5. The Personality Founder

Traits:
Benefits:
Pitfalls:
Example: Oprah
I’m using Oprah as an example, as her products are an outgrowth of her — her eponymous talk show, which ran for 25 years, the OWN network, O Magazine, her book club, and a variety of charitable endeavors comprise her vast empire. But of course, we know plenty of other personality brands that have racked up billions in sales and even transformed, from the Kardashians/Jenners, to Bethany Frankel and Ryan Reynolds (just watch Deadpool 3 to see his brands — coming in 2023).
In today’s age of influence, we’ve seen a surge of personality brands and founders who leverage built-in audiences and communities to scale quickly. All these names are business mavericks in their own right, but many didn’t start out this way — they deftly utilize their charisma and ability to entertain to shape their brands and pave the way to success.

6. The Accidental Founder

Traits:
Benefits:
Pitfalls:
Example: Yvon Chouinard
Patagonia founder Yvon Chouinard has been in the news lately for giving away his company to fight climate change. He’s an OG accidental entrepreneur whose passion for rock climbing led him to develop reusable pitons (rock climbing spikes) and, later, heavy-duty shirts. Famously Chouinard called himself a “dirtbag climber” and didn’t want to become a business mogul. Sixty-five years later, this accidental founder’s company is valued at $3 billion, and his latest innovation is a way of giving away the profits of a company to continue his contribution to society — protecting and preserving the natural world.
As I always say, there are riches in the niches, and accidental entrepreneurs are the leading type of founders to discover a marketplace with little or no competition.

7. The Intentional Founder

Traits:
Benefits:
Pitfalls:
Example: Jessica Alba
While Jessica Alba does have some touches of a Personality Founder (she is an actor) and an Accidental Founder (an allergic reaction to detergent made her worry about her new baby’s sensitive skin), she is an excellent example of an intentional founder. Back in 2008, when Alba had that allergic reaction, influencer marketing wasn’t what it is today — plus, she had some success but was by no means a household name. Ditto for eco-conscious consumer packaged goods — a plus, sure, but didn’t have the same urgency and importance it does today. Alba then spent years researching ingredients in everyday products and even went to DC to lobby for updates to the 1976 Toxic Substances Control Act. Convinced that consumers need safe, affordable, environmentally friendly products for kids and home, Alba launched The Honest Company in 2011.
Now, she did have seasoned co-founders, her own wealth to use out the gates, and VC support shortly after that, but it has always been Alba’s commitment to and alignment with the brand’s core principles that have kept the brand growing and thriving — today, as a publicly traded company with a 2021 $412.8 IPO.
What type of founder are you? Definitely feel free to share in the comments.
submitted by yelpvinegar to analyzeoptimize [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 17:36 Ornery-Concern4104 My least favourite thing in comic books are Events.

I love comic books with all my heart and soul, it's a medium that has affected me deeply over the last year. Now that I'm neck deep in stacks of classics, I have to say, Events and almost everything about them is my least favourite thing the medium often does.
Thankfully, Indie comics rarely have them. But the big two and some other exceptions often craft stories that don't feel like they are saying anything at all other than just doing cool looking stuff.
For the most part, if an Event is contained, I don't find it that bad. It often means I can ignore it and move on without much hassle. If it had event tie ins though? Oh baby.
The one big stumbling block of Chip Zdarsky's Daredevil run is that his carefully crafted story was interrupted by a king in black event that threw off the structure so badly, no one has stopped talking about it since it happened. Similarly, I'm sick of reading tie in issues where the writer is just making the best out of a bad bunch because they're just been told to make it happen. It often breeds boring, uninspired stories that would serve better as fire lighters then actual stories.
There are some exceptions though. Legion of X issue #6 is my favourite tie in of all time mainly because it took the opportunity to flex it's creative muscles and use the unique situation to say something about both the characters and the macro story at play. Events in this issue are considered formative for Legion later down the line in the series for instance. But most of the time, I rarely have hope for an interesting story to come out of these events since so many of them are generic and happen way to often.
I do have some hope that the upcoming FF Blood hunt issues are actually worth the read however, I want to see what a clever sci-fi writer like North actually does with Vampires. Since he also has 2 tie ins too, I'm hoping that he can craft a story that is actually contributing something to the artist canon. It also helps that his general throughline in this run has been insanely loose so the detour should hopefully not be too distracting either
submitted by Ornery-Concern4104 to comicbooks [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 16:57 Shagrrotten The Greatest Car Chases in Movie History, Ranked

Taken from: https://www.theringer.com/movies/2024/5/21/24161120/greatest-movie-car-chase-scenes-ranked-furiosa-mad-max-saga
In honor of the imminent ‘Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga,’ we’re shifting into high gear to determine the best chase scene in cinema history
By Miles Surrey May 21, 2024, 6:30am EDTGetty Images/Ringer illustration
After wowing audiences with Mad Max: Fury Road, director George Miller returns to the franchise’s post-apocalyptic wastelands for Furiosa, the epic origin story of the eponymous heroine (now played by Anya Taylor-Joy), premiering on Friday. As the follow-up to one of the greatest action films ever made, it’s hard to overstate the hype for Furiosa, and that was before word got out about a showstopping 15-minute sequence that required nearly 200 stuntpeople and took 78 days to shoot. While Furiosa will have its own distinct flavor, as is true of every Mad Max movie, there’s one thing that unites these projects: intense, jaw-dropping scenes of vehicular mayhem. And what better way to honor the franchise than by celebrating what it does best?
Ahead of Furiosa’s release, we’ve put together our definitive ranking of the best car chases in cinema. There weren’t any strict rules in place, other than capping the list at 20—mostly for my own sanity—and limiting every franchise to one entry. (Apologies to Fury Road’s kickass predecessor The Road Warrior.) We also won’t discriminate against scenes that feature motorbikes, so long as cars (and/or trucks) remain part of the equation. As for what, exactly, constitutes a good car chase? Like list making, it’s bound to be subjective, but I tend to gravitate toward two key elements: the skill of the stuntwork on display and the ways in which a filmmaker conveys the action in relation to the story. (Also, the less CGI, the better.) Buckle up, ’cause we’re not wasting any time shifting into high gear.

20. Quantum of Solace (2008)

There have been some memorable car chases in the James Bond franchise: the first sequence featuring the iconic Aston Martin DB5 in Goldfinger, the corkscrew jump in The Man With the Golden Gun, the Lotus Esprit submarine in The Spy Who Loved Me. But I’m going with a somewhat controversial pick here: Quantum of Solace. There are many issues with Quantum of Solace—namely, it was one of the most high-profile blockbusters affected by the 2007-08 writers strike—but its opening scene isn’t one of them. Picking up right where Casino Royale left off, we find Bond (Daniel Craig) evading henchmen through the narrow roads around Italy’s Lake Garda. The frenetic, furious chase mirrors Bond’s sense of anguish after losing Vesper Lynd (Eva Green), the woman he opened his heart to, and his relentless quest for answers. It’s a thrilling tone-setter for Quantum of Solace and one that doesn’t overstay its welcome, capped off by Bond sending his final pursuers flying off a cliff:
If we’re being honest, though, it feels like James Bond has yet to create a franchise-defining car chase. Perhaps that’s a mission the newest 007, whoever it ends up being, can undertake.

19. Mission: Impossible—Rogue Nation (2015)

The Mission: Impossible franchise is no stranger to electrifying chase scenes, the best of which find Tom Cruise’s Ethan Hunt working up his heart rate. When it comes to action behind the wheel, though, Fallout tends to dominate the discussion—even on this very website. But I think the vehicular chase in Rogue Nation is being slept on. What we have is effectively two sequences for the price of one: The first finds Hunt pursuing Ilsa Faust (Rebecca Ferguson) by car through the narrow streets of Casablanca alongside some nefarious henchmen; the second sees him continue the chase outside the city on motorbike. (Adding to the chaos: Hunt had only just been resuscitated, and he’s clearly not all there.) In terms of death-defying stunts for the audience’s entertainment, a helmetless Cruise taking corners like a MotoGP racer is child’s play compared to his other exploits, but the actor’s authentic reaction to scraping his knee on the road underlines that there’s no one else in Hollywood doing it like him:
We’ll be sure to update this ranking if and when Cruise does something even more dangerous down the road, pun unintended.

18. Vanishing Point (1971)

A movie that counts the likes of Steven Spielberg and Quentin Tarantino among its biggest fans, Vanishing Point is the first of a few entries on this ranking that’s essentially one extended car chase. The film stars Barry Newman as Kowalski, a man tasked with delivering a Dodge Challenger T 440 Magnum from Colorado to California while eluding police across four states. One of Kowalski’s most memorable run-ins comes when a guy driving a Jaguar E-Type convertible challenges him to an impromptu race. Incredibly, we’re expected to believe the man in the Jag comes out of this crash in one piece:
Vanishing Point might not boast the impressive production values of other movies on this list, but considering Tarantino would go on to feature a white Challenger in Death Proof, its influence in the car cinema canon is undeniable.

17. Fast Five (2011)

Let’s face it, Fast & Furious has seen better days. Some believe the franchise’s dip in quality coincided with the death of Paul Walker; others are dismayed by the pivot from street racing to absurd feats of superherodom—emphasis on the Dom. Perhaps it’s a bit of both, but the very best movie in the series, Fast Five, manages to strike the perfect balance: It’s a relatively grounded heist thriller that nevertheless takes the franchise to ridiculous new heights. After Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) and his crew steal $100 million from a Brazilian kingpin, they drag the entire bank vault holding the money through the streets of Rio de Janeiro, all while being pursued by authorities. It’s a delightfully destructive sequence that does untold damage to Rio’s infrastructure and features some of the most bone-crunching crashes committed to film:
If the Fast franchise is going to break out of its recent slump, it would do well to remember that there’s nothing better than letting its heroes live their lives a quarter mile at a time—no detours to outer space required.

16. The Blues Brothers (1980)

A good car chase isn’t reserved just for action flicks: Comedies can get in on the act, too. In The Blues Brothers, starring the recurring Saturday Night Live characters played by John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd, the beloved bandmates must prevent the foreclosure of the orphanage where they were raised by scrounging together $5,000. Naturally, that’s easier said than done: Along the way, the Blues Brothers draw the attention of neo-Nazis, a country-and-western band, and local police. While The Blues Brothers has amusing gags and musical numbers, its chase sequences with the Brothers behind the wheel of a 1974 Dodge Monaco are what really steal the show—and none are better than a climactic pursuit across Chicago. More than 60 old police cars were used in the film, some of which are wrecked in a comically over-the-top pileup:
The sheer scale of The Blues Brothers’ final set piece is commendable in and of itself—as is the movie’s commitment to treating real-life cars like a bunch of Hot Wheels.

15. Baby Driver (2017)

For good and for ill, Edgar Wright’s movies exude an abundance of style, and Baby Driver is no exception. Baby Driver is centered on a clever gimmick: The action works in tandem with its soundtrack because the film’s protagonist, Baby (Ansel Elgort), suffers from tinnitus and constantly plays music to drown out the ringing. When everything’s clicking into place, Baby Driver feels like a supersized series of music videos, and nothing hits quite like its opening sequence. Baby acts as the getaway driver for a bank robbery while listening to the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion’s “Bellbottoms.” The ensuing chase works around rhythms of the song, as if Baby’s Subaru WRX were the star of its own dance number. Take nothing away from the actual driving, either, which puts the rally car to good use:
Baby Driver’s gimmick stretches a little thin by the end, but it’s hard to deny the crowd-pleasing power of Wright’s film when it’s firing on all cylinders.

14. The Raid 2 (2014)

With a trio of kickass Indonesian martial arts films under his belt, Gareth Evans has established himself as one of the most exciting action directors on the planet—someone who seems most in his element staging positively brutal hand-to-hand combat. In The Raid 2, however, Evans also brought his signature brand of carnage to the road. While there’s some cleverly executed close-quarters fighting within the confines of an SUV, courtesy of Iko Uwais’s hard-hitting protagonist, what really cements this sequence’s greatness are the moments when Evans turns the cars into an extension of the characters’ fists:
This belongs in an entirely new category of combat: car fights. There are so many action scenes in The Raid 2 worth writing home about—the kitchen showdown is an all-timer—but the fact that Evans casually tossed in an unforgettable car chase shows why he’s one of one.

13. The Driver (1978)

I’ll say this for Walter Hill’s The Driver: It sure lives up to its title. In this stripped-down thriller—one where none of the characters have a name—we follow the Driver (Ryan O’Neal), a getaway driver who has become a thorn in the side of the LAPD. In the film’s best scene, we see its taciturn protagonist living up to his reputation. With the Driver behind the wheel of a 1974 Ford Galaxie, a cat-and-mouse game unfolds when a handful of police cars are hot on his tail. What I love about this sequence is the pared-down nature of it all: The Driver outwits the cops as much as he outraces them. (Though, ironically, that wasn’t entirely by design: As Hill later explained, an accident on the last night of shooting meant they had to cobble together what had already been filmed.) Frankly, you’d never know the difference from the finished article:
If the general vibes of The Driver seem familiar, that’s because it was a major inspiration for Nicolas Winding Refn’s Drive, which just so happened to feature an unnamed protagonist (Ryan Gosling) evading police through the streets of Los Angeles.

12. The Bourne Supremacy (2004)

The shaky-cam style of the Bourne franchise isn’t for everyone—just ask John Woo—but credit where it’s due: These movies know how to deliver a good chase scene. (A friendly reminder that The Bourne Legacy is an underrated gem with an awesome motorbike sequence to boot.) But there’s one Bourne chase that stands above the rest: the Moscow getaway in The Bourne Supremacy. After being wounded by the Russian assassin Kirill (Karl Urban), Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) hijacks a taxi, with both the police and Kirill in hot pursuit. This isn’t the kind of sequence that lingers on any one shot; instead, what makes it work is the frenetic nature of the editing, which allows the viewer to feel like they’re in Bourne’s fight-or-flight headspace:
If I’m being honest, I’m usually one of those people who doesn’t like the Bourne movies’ shaky-cam style, but when it’s executed with such craftsmanship, you can’t help but get caught up in its adrenaline-pumping power.

11. The Seven-Ups (1973)

Philip D’Antoni was the producer of two movies featuring Hall of Fame car chases, Bullitt and The French Connection, the latter of which won him an Oscar for Best Picture. And with his lone directorial feature, The Seven-Ups, D’Antoni sought to craft an iconic sequence of his own. The film stars Roy Scheider as NYPD detective Buddy Mannuci (elite Italian American name; I can practically smell the gabagool), who commands a unit handling major felony cases that lead to seven-plus-year prison sentences; that’s why they’re known as the Seven-Ups. Midway through the movie, when one of the team members is killed by two shooters who flee the scene, Buddy chases after them. The 10-minute sequence, which starts in the Upper West Side before moving out of the city, is thrillingly immersive, alternating between close-ups of the characters and wider shots of all the damage they’ve caused. But the chase’s defining moment comes right at the end, when Buddy narrowly avoids a grisly death:
The sequence isn’t quite at the level of Bullitt or The French Connection—very few are—but D’Antoni still manages to leave an unmistakable imprint on the car chase canon.

10. Death Proof (2007)

If you ask Quentin Tarantino, Death Proof, his knowingly trashy tribute to exploitation cinema, is the worst movie he’s ever made. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a lot to admire about the film, which honors the unsung heroes of Hollywood: stunt performers. The first half of Death Proof follows three female friends who cross paths with Stuntman Mike (Kurt Russell), a misogynistic serial killer who takes them out in his “death-proof” Chevy Nova. Fourteen months later, a group that includes stuntwoman Zoë Bell, playing herself, also lands on Mike’s radar. As Bell and her friends test out a ’70s Challenger, she performs a “ship’s mast” stunt, clinging onto the hood of the car with fastening belts. Unfortunately, when Mike pursues the women, it puts Bell in a precarious situation. Most of the entries on this list celebrate some next-level driving skills, but Death Proof’s inclusion is all about Bell pulling off one of the wildest stunts you’ll ever see. She’s quite literally hanging on for dear life:
If the Academy handed out Oscars to stunt performers—and let’s hope it does happen one day—Bell would’ve won in a landslide.

9. To Live and Die in L.A. (1985)

William Friedkin was already responsible for an all-time great car chase in The French Connection (more on that later), but the filmmaker made a commendable bid to outdo himself with To Live and Die in L.A. In this neo-noir thriller, Secret Service agent Richard Chance (William L. Petersen) is hell-bent on arresting an expert counterfeiter, Rick Masters (Willem Dafoe), who kills Chance’s partner days before his retirement. To capture Masters, Chance and his new partner, John Vukovich (John Pankow), attempt to steal $50,000 from a jewelry buyer for an undercover operation. The sting goes bad when the buyer, who is later revealed to be an undercover FBI agent, is killed and a group of gunmen goes after Chance and Vukovich. It’s a clever inversion of the usual car chase formula—this time, it’s the lawmen running away from the criminals. The outside-the-box thinking extends to the film’s most astonishing stretch, in which Chance evades the gunmen by driving into oncoming traffic:
The fact that Friedkin shot the chase at the end of filming—in case anything disastrous happened to the actors—underscores just how risky the endeavor was. The pulse-pounding results speak for themselves.

8. The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

The Matrix sequels have never been held in high esteem, but I’m ready to live my truth: The Matrix Reloaded fucking rules. (If anyone’s got a problem with this take, file your complaints with the Architect.) What’s more, the film happens to boast the finest action set piece of the franchise: the highway chase. After Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss) free the Keymaker (Randall Duk Kim), a program capable of creating shortcuts within the Matrix, they’re pursued by the Twins (Neil and Adrian Rayment). Morpheus once warned that going on the freeway was “suicide,” and it doesn’t take long to see why: The chase draws the attention of several Agents, who repeatedly take over the bodies of other drivers on the road. The scene is the best of both worlds: There’s some incredible stuntwork on display, including when Moss weaves around on a Ducati, and CGI augments some feats of superhuman strength. But the most jaw-dropping aspect of the sequence is how it came together, as the production spent $2.5 million to construct its own highway (!) on California’s Alameda Island. If that weren’t unique enough, I’m pretty sure Reloaded is also the only movie in existence in which a katana takes out an SUV:
The Matrix remains the Wachowskis’ masterpiece, but don’t get it twisted: The filmmakers were still cooking with gas in the sequel.

7. Gone in 60 Seconds (1974)

Size isn’t everything, but for H. B. Halicki, who produced, wrote, directed, and starred in Gone in 60 Seconds, it’s certainly part of the package. The indie action flick follows Maindrian Pace (Halicki), a Los Angeles insurance investigator who has a lucrative side hustle jacking high-end cars. The plot kicks into motion when a South American drug lord enlists Pace to nab 48 cars within five days in exchange for $400,000. Of course, Gone in 60 Seconds is best known for what happens after Pace is caught stealing a 1973 Ford Mustang Mach 1, when he leads police on a chase that lasts a whopping 40 minutes. (More than 90 cars were destroyed in the process.) Halicki, for his part, did all the driving himself, including a spectacular jump off a makeshift ramp of crashed cars:
While Halicki wound up making a few more indies after Gone in 60 Seconds, he died in an accident on the set of its sequel. His legacy as a do-it-all daredevil, however, lives on.

6. Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Long before James Cameron immersed himself in the world of Pandora, he was a pioneer of state-of-the-art visual effects. Case in point: Terminator 2: Judgment Day is credited for having the first CGI character in a blockbuster, the T-1000 (Robert Patrick), a killing machine composed of a futuristic liquid metal. But Cameron also understood that the CGI of that era shouldn’t be the main attraction: It worked best as a complement to the practical effects, as seen in Judgment Day’s epic viaduct chase. When the T-1000 tracks down a young John Connor (Edward Furlong) in a shopping mall, he’s saved at the last minute by the Terminator (Arnold Schwarzenegger), giving John a chance to escape on his dirt bike. As the T-1000 gives chase, the David and Goliath vibes between man and machine are further epitomized by the T-1000’s commandeering of a truck. The sequence already has a terrifying sense of urgency, but it hits another level when the T-1000 crashes through the viaduct like the Kool-Aid Man:
Big Jim is still revolutionizing what can be achieved with visual effects in the Avatar franchise, and while I cherish those movies, nothing beats his old-school showmanship.

5. Duel (1971)

The feature-length debut of Steven Spielberg—perhaps you’ve heard of him—the TV movie Duel is essentially one extended chase sequence between salesman David Mann (Dennis Weaver) and a sinister trucker determined to drive him off the road. I’ve attached a clip from the ending of the film, but that doesn’t do Duel justice. What cements this movie’s greatness is how it sustains an unbearable level of tension across its 90-minute running time—with a budget under $500,000, no less. Spielberg’s masterstroke is never once showing us the other driver, anthropomorphizing the truck itself as a monster. (You can see a lot of similarities with how he would build suspense in Jaws.) When Mann finally gets the upper hand, tricking his adversary into driving off a cliff, it feels like you can breathe again:
Spielberg would move on to bigger and better things after Duel, but considering how much the director accomplished with so little, you can’t help but wonder what else he could conjure up with limited resources.

4. Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

Like Duel, Fury Road is basically one long car chase—the difference is Miller got to work with a blockbuster budget, and made every cent of it count. It’s hard to pick a single standout sequence in Fury Road, but if I had to choose, I’d go with the first attack on the War Rig after Furiosa (Charlize Theron) flees with the wives of Immortan Joe (Hugh Keays-Byrne). Here’s why: Think back to when you saw Fury Road for the first time, before you fully grasped the vehicular carnage that was in store. And then stuff like this kept happening:
To quote Steven Soderbergh’s thoughts on Fury Road: “I don’t understand how they’re not still shooting that film and I don’t understand how hundreds of people aren’t dead.” Whether or not Miller manages to one-up the action in Furiosa, the director is already in the pantheon.

3. The French Connection (1971)

We return to the Friedkin-verse for what may be his best film, The French Connection, the crime thriller based on Robin Moore’s 1969 nonfiction book of the same name. The story concerns two NYPD detectives, Jimmy “Popeye” Doyle (Gene Hackman) and Buddy “Cloudy” Russo (Roy Scheider), and their tireless pursuit of a French heroin smuggler. But while there’s plenty to admire about how The French Connection illustrates the thin line between police and criminals, its greatest claim to fame is its car chase. After Popeye narrowly survives a sniper attack, he goes after the shooter, who escapes on an elevated train. The ensuing sequence is true daredevil filmmaking that Friedkin shot without permits, leading to real crashes with New Yorkers that made the final cut. But Friedkin’s finest touch was mounting a camera to the front of the car, making the audience feel like they’re part of the action:
My Ringer colleague Justin Sayles believes The French Connection’s chase should’ve landed at no. 1, and I’m sure many folks will agree with him. Being the only film on this list to win Best Picture, however, is a solid consolation prize.

2. Bullitt (1968)

When it comes to modern car chases, all roads lead back to Bullitt. A Dad Cinema classic, the film stars Steve McQueen as Frank Bullitt, a San Francisco detective who pursues a group of mobsters after a key witness is killed in protective custody. In his search for answers, Bullitt realizes he’s being tailed by a couple of hitmen, and then turns the tables on them. From there, the chase is on. Aside from McQueen doing most of his own stunts behind the wheel of a Ford Mustang GT 390 Fastback, what’s so impressive about the sequence is how timeless it is. Even the little imperfections, like hubcaps repeatedly coming off the wheels, work to the film’s advantage, stressing just how much these drivers are living on a razor’s edge. It’s been more than 50 years since Bullitt revolutionized the car chase, and yet few movies since have felt like they’re pushing the envelope to such an exhilarating degree:
That the car driven by McQueen was recently sold at auction for $3.74 million, a then-record price for a Mustang, underlines Bullitt’s enduring legacy.

1. Ronin (1998)

“If I’m going to do a car chase,” filmmaker John Frankenheimer said in an interview with the American Society of Cinematographers, “I’m going to do a car chase that’s going to make somebody think about whether or not they want to do another one!” Boy, did he ever. In Frankenheimer’s late-career masterpiece, Ronin, the director actually incorporated several chases, but it’s the climactic sequence that stands alone as the greatest ever filmed. The movie concerns an international group of mercenaries who are hired to steal a mysterious briefcase; a series of double-crosses and double-bluffs ensue. But for the final chase, all you need to know is that Sam (Robert De Niro), a mercenary with ties to the CIA, is in pursuit of Deirdre (Natascha McElhone), an IRA operative in possession of the case. Winding through the streets and tunnels of Paris, what’s most striking is just how fluid it all feels. You’re completely engrossed in the chase’s forward momentum, captured from every conceivable angle; a symphony of controlled chaos. The driving styles even reflect the characters: Deirdre is reckless and impulsive, while Sam remains calm and controlled.
There are many worthy car chases in this ranking, but in my view, Ronin takes pole position. And while I can’t imagine a movie ever topping what Frankenheimer achieved, I’d love nothing more than to be proved wrong.
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2024.05.21 16:33 MiamisLastCapitalist Essay: Grandma Edna vs the future by Andrew Heaton

So I was listening to a podcast by comedian Andrew Heaton (X), and he had a very interesting episode examining people's nostalgia for the American 1950's complete with humorous skits. For illustration's sake he assumed 50's America was another country called "Fiftiesland" and compared it's stats like GDP or live expectancy to Modern America. He conclude that a lot of the nostalgia came from how many astonishing improvements happened between 1900-1950 vs 1950-2024, even though Modern America is superior in almost every metric.
At the end he had a long monologue where he was trying to explain to his fictional Grandma Edna Bickle, born in 1889 and elderly by the 50's, what it'd be like in the future compared to how she grew up. Imagine trying to explain Netflix to someone who grew up with a radio.
It really demonstrates, in a lighthearted way, just how far we've come in ~125 years.
So imagine how astonishing the world will be in another 100, 300, or 500 years...
Anyway, it's a bit of a read, but I thought some of you all might enjoy it and Mr Heaten was nice enough to send me the transcript. Enjoy!
My great grandmother, Edna, was born in 1889. My Dad and I were recently reminiscing about her, and he said, “Gramma Bickle, tough old bird, tough old bird. Went blind at ninety-two, quit driving at ninety-four, died at ninety-six. Almost lived in three different centuries.” I have some immediate questions about that chronology, and the realization that Gramma Bickle apparently drove her car blind for two full years before handing her keys in, but I digress.
In 1954 my great gramma Bickle was sixty-five years old. Think about how the country changed from her childhood to her golden years. From when she was born, to a little younger than my parents are today, she saw an entire country go from horse and buggies and pretty much nobody owning a car, to almost everybody has a car. Only six percent of the homes in America had electricity when she was a teenager. By the mid nineteen fifties, the whole country is throbbing with electricity.
In her lifetime, the country went from basically no light bulbs, radios, telephones, refrigerators, or washing machines, to a country where all of that stuff is ubiquitous.
In the year 1900, only ten percent of American households had a stove in them. By 1960,--when my great grandmother is the same age as my parents are now—95% of households do. When she was born, anti-biotics didn’t exist, and polio could cripple your baby. By the time she’s my age, penicillen—a miracle drug!—has been invented. By the time she’s my parents’ age, penicillen is widely available and some genius has recently invented a polio vaccine.
So, if we’re looking at Fiftiesland as a country around today, here’s what’s going on. All of the old people in this country, in their lifetime, went from a horse-and-buggy 19th century third world economy with polio and no electricity—something that, if it existed today, we would be sending anthropoligsts to—to a more modern second world economy perhaps akin to contemporary Guatemala. Which is no small jump.
And the people my age who live in Fiftiesland are still celebrating kicking the crap out of the Nazis, inventing the atom bomb, and enjoying an economy which is comparatively booming—because all of the neighboring economies are rubble.
If Gramma Bickle, at forty years old, my age now, could somehow visit me in contemporary America—she would think I made a pact with Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness. Or maybe, maybe her progeny somehow goes on to conquer Oklahoma as warlords, and all her great grandchildren become opulant Oriental sultans.
I have an icebox in my kitchen that’s powered by lightning that lives in my wall. I have another smaller box that makes my food hot by shooting it with invisible particles like the ray gun from War of the Worlds.
Not only do I let my dog sleep in a tiny bed inside my house, like a toddler, we just finished up a round of antiobitics from when he cut his foot. My great-grandfather—this is true—lived with tuburculosis for years before it finally killed him. Anyway, see that dog I make wear a necktie for my amuesment? Yeah, my dog takes miracle drugs unavailable to John D. Rockefeller. Last year Wallace got elbow cancer but the doctor fixed that, no problem, took a couple of months. Wallace literally has better medical treatment available to him a mile from my house than any human being alive in 1950.
Gramma, you wanna watch Netflix, Paramount Plus, HBO, Peacock, or Amazon Prime? It’s television. Well, television is sort of like radio, only much better, and with images, and I can watch it whenever I want, and there are thousands of options. Like, imagine Broadway, only, like, a few thousand of them, and they’re all inside of that rectangle.
Huh, yeah, I’m not explaining that very well. Right. Okay, so you know how in your time you know multiple people who were literally slaves at some point in their life? Like, you personally know some older people who were, at one point, legally a form of property?
So basically, I have this glass rectangle on my wall that a million of the world’s greatest comedians and dramatists live inside of as my slaves, and they put on plays for me when I’m tired after work. Except I don’t have to feed them or pay them because I use my friend Nick’s HBO account. They just eat the lightning that lives in my wall.
What? Oh yes, I get very tired from work, Gramma. Really get [sigh] worn out, you know? Well, you know how your dad was a wheatfarmer, who spent hours and hours plowing through dust and boneshards in Indian Territory, where he might literally be shot by a Commanche, and the threat of looming starvation for the entire family was never more than one drout away?
Right, so I… I talk for a living. Yeah, that’s right. No, a bunch of strangers just sort of send me money every month cause they enjoy hearing me talk. It’s actually very challenging. Because! Gramma, I do a lot research, you see. Like for this episode, I had to read a lot, and I had to do a lot of math. No, I did not personally do the math.
I have another magical rectangle that has several thosuand math slaves trapped inside that do the actual math for me. When I was a kid I had to perssonally punch the equations in myself, and the rectantle would crunch the numbers. Those were hard times. Now I have a smarter glass rectangle that I can just talk to. I just type in, “Hey, average these ten numbers, okay” and there’s, I dunno, like translater slaves that talk to the math slaves, and they all figure out whatever I’m trying to say, increasingly in lower case and with minimal punctuation, and then give me the answer.
But I have to do the research. Like, I have to read a lot. No, I don’t go to a library. I have another rectangle that has all of the world’s libraries inside of it, and also a lot of pornography, so I just stay at home and look at that particular rectangle, alteranting between research and pornography depending on my mood.
It sure is tough, Gramma. I don’t have any coworkers to keep me company. I’m all by myself here in my well-lit, smokeless, air conditionined home. That’s right, air conditioning! Not just in my house, either—in my camper—which is a tiny extra house I tow behind my armored, self-propelling buggy, which I feed fermented dinosaur juice they pump out of the ground. Oh yeah. It has a rectangle in it that plays music. I’d say I have roughly… three to eight million musician slaves who live in the rectangle in my car, so I don’t get bored when driving to the movies, which is a very large rectangle I go to when I’m tired of watching rectangles on my couch.
What? Good question. It’s called a “camper” because I go camping in it. It’s sort of my hobby. You see, Gramma, my life is so stupidly cushy and comfortable that I amuse myself by going out into the woods to forego wall lightning, air conditioning, and even pornography sometimes, when I can’t get a signal, and instead I sit in a hammock and shit in holes I dig for fun. We call that “roughing it.” For sport, I spend hundreds if not thousands of dollars doing what your entire family did their entire lives until they finally got indoor plumbing, except of course my camper has a propane stove built in, whereas your pioneer family had to dig a hole in the side of a hill and cower in it from the weather like cavemen while burning cow dung for warmth. I dunno where propane comes from. Probably dinosaur farts or something.
Anyway, I prefer to travel around in my camper rather than fly—that’s right, fly—yeah, like a spitfire pilot—which I do multiple times a year using frequent flier points. Which are sort of free, imaginary coupons that banks give me to thank me for using their credit cards, which are also rectangles, but these particular rectangles are small and flat and full of slave bankers that live in my pocket, next to my nine-billion dollar super computer I mostly use as a map, so I don’t have to go through the hassle of folding and unfolding maps, and also to send funny pictures to people in Scotland, in between watching porn in the woods.
I digress. Let’s all take a deep breath. Somebody from my great grandmother’s generation, who lived long enough to be an adult in Fiftiesland, would rightly think: We live in a golden age! We live in the future!
Back in contemporary America, my parents are in their early seventies. My parents today are about how old Gramma Bickle was at the end of the 1950s. And the jump isn’t bad, but it’s not nearly as mind-blowing. The developments they’ve seen since childhood are very impressive in terms of computers and telecommunications and medicine, but otherwise, the world they live in is a more efficient, clever version of the world they grew up in. Cars are safer and more comfortable and fuel efficient, but they’re still basically cars. LED lights are cheaper than incandescent bulbs, but they’re still essentially electric lights. Penicillan is better, but it’s still just clinical mold that strategically murders errant bacteria.
If Fiftiesland were a country, rather than our own history, we would pretty much look at it sort of how we see the poorer parts of Latin America or Eastern Europe: a very nice place with lovely people, wonderful to visit, try the food. Get some funky vintage clothes while you’re there.
But a comparatively poor economy to America or Western Europe. You wouldn’t want to immigrate there for the money. And also, not surprisingly, some views about gender, sex before marriage, having kids really young, having lots of kids, and skepticism about homosexuality that a globetrotter and even quite a few conservatives today might be tempted to call “quaint” or “traditional.”
Basically, if Fiftiesland were a country today, we would view it like Honduras or Moldova, or maybe Czechoslavkia after the wall came down.
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2024.05.21 16:17 DeadManSinging Three Dog is an idiot, a hypocrite and a poser

I know I am going to catch some hate for this, because people really love Fallout 3. I don't want to take that away from you if you like this game, but I need to get this off my chest.
Recently, I started replaying Fallout 3 for the first time in over a decade - Through the Tales of Two Wastelands mod Now, I really liked this game back when I was a teenager but replaying it now, I definitely understand the massive amount of hate levied at this game.
I'm not even that far in and I've already decided to stop playing it. - Everything about the game just infuriates me to all hell and honestly, I've been finding it a slog when compared to almost any other game in the franchise. (Including FO4 Which I actually enjoy quite a bit) In my opinion, many characters in this game are either narratively flat and underwritten, or incredibly annoying.
The last thing I did in this game was reach Galaxy New Radio - And that's where I realized one character in particular stands out as especially badly written and obnoxious: Three-Dog.
Not only is his radio personality completely unfitting within the setting (He sounds like a modern day shock jock IMO), he is incredibly preachy as well as being a hypocrite, an idiot and a complete poser arm chair "activist".
"Oh wow man I'm such a rebel working up for the little guy! Sitting in my ivory tower protected by a xenophobic militia of techno-fetishists hording all the tech! Wow, man I'm such a voice for the downtrodden! Let me blackmail the protagonist into doing my dirty work because even though I fight the good fight I actually only do things quid pro quo! THREEEEEEEEEE-DAWWWWWG! WOOF WOOOF WOOOF!"
Three Dog lives in an impenetrable fortress, surrounded by misery, preaching about how 'ghouls are people too' while his techno-cult terrorist buddies kill all ghouls they come across without exception.
Even in Fallout 3, the goody two shoes version of the Brotherhood still hate ghouls, killing them whenever encountered (In Underworld an NPC tells you as much) yet Three Dog has no problem working with them as long as they protect him.
Now, if the game was actually well written or clever, and ACKNOWLEDGED this fact, that might be interesting and deep. Like, if there was a way you could convince him he was a hypocrite and not to work with the brotherhood of steel - Or even if he didn't KNOW the Brotherhood did things like that and you could show him the proof and convince him to seek protection by Reilly's Rangers instead.
Or, he could be completely irredeemable, and a commentary on fake activists or a statement about journalistic integrity and how the media misrepresents itself.
But of course, this is Fallout 3 - So Three Dog is a good guy, and the Brotherhood are also good guys - Despite the fact that they are still mostly ambivalent towards everyone else in the wasteland and distribute the water for their own reasons. Three Dog is basically a propagandist for a xenophobic technology hoarding terror cell who are occupying the DC ruins as its self proclaimed rulers.
(And no, I'm not an Enclave fanboy, but the Brotherhood are by definition terrorists and Mr House and NCR say as much in New Vegas.)
Then, to add insult to injury, he's perfectly happy sending you on a fucking suicide mission to repair a radar dish because "he has to stay here and fight the good fight" (I find this particular stupid because the brotherhood a; Kill Mutants and b: hoard pre war tech like that in the Museum of Science and seem to be using him as a hype man. Why wouldn't they help him out?).
He's not cool, he's not subversive - He's just a fucking idiot and a hypocrite.
He's like if there was a supposedly anarchist podcaster whose entire show was about "smashing the state" and "ACAB" and anti government oppression, surveillance and racial discrimination - Meanwhile he was streaming from the headquarters of the FBI and lived with his Lockheed Martin CEO father.
What makes him even worse (IMO) is that his voice actor seems like the most obnoxious self important ass hat ever - Begging Amazon to put him in the show, getting angry every time Bethesda (And Obsidian) don't return his desperate phone calls about coming back in sequels and generally acting like his character is such an integral part of the franchise - Even though he was literally just a radio DJ in a single game that came out, what, over 16 years ago?
So yeah, sorry; Rant over. I don't mean to offend anyone who likes this game or this character, you're entitled to disagree with me, as I am entitled to disagree with you - But he in particularly annoyed me to no end and I was finding the game a terrible slog anyway. Personally, I'm going back to the Mojave and then maybe a stop over in the Commonwealth - Leaving the Capitol Wasteland for good.
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2024.05.21 15:44 Mammoth_2049 finished reading for the first time (spoiler review)

Embarrassingly enough this is actually the first time in a VERY long while that I have read and finished an entire book on my own. But I can say now that reading PHM was very fun and honestly may have reignited an interest in reading for me.
That being said I finished the book about a day ago and I’m kinda bored right now so here’s my review and some thoughts.
Things I liked: - I thought it was really cool how weir structured this story with the amnesia flashbacks. It was a very clever way of explaining what was going on, the totality of the situation, and gave the story a lot more depth. - Rocky was obviously awesome. I know this was probably the main thing Weir wanted to do but it really was cool to see how different the Eridians were from humans while also being intelligent and reasonable. Really interesting how their technology developed compared to humans. Like where they exceed in material science they lack in physics and computers, and vice versa with humans. But in the end neither of them could have finished the mission without the other. - As a character Grace was pretty fun too. It was interesting to see how he solved all these complicated problems while also handling the huge stakes. - Astrophage as a concept is really cool too. It’s not an eldritch godlike space monster - it’s just like a mindless parasite that grows into an infestation.
Things I didn’t like:
And another thing is the ending. - The Taumoeba problem feels like it could’ve been easily avoided if they just waited a few days before leaving to make sure there weren’t any other problems. - I think a lot of wasted potential with the ending was the fact that Ryland never sees what happens back on Earth. We never truly know what was going on, and all we do know is that they somehow fixed the astrophage issue. I truly don’t see any reason Ryland would WANT to stay on Erid for the rest of his life. Like throughout the entire book he does everything to ensure that Earth survives, and uses it as his motivation for not giving up. Obviously he thinks of Erid too, but it’s not like Erid means more to him than Earth does? Like he’s never even been there? And if he didn’t like Earth then why would he use it as his motivation? Idek. - He says “rocky is my only friend, i didn’t have a social life” when it’s pretty obvious he kind of did have a social life, like he had multiple friends and colleagues. - I felt like the flashbacks were kind of building up to this potentially very interesting moment where, against all odds, Ryland returns and surprises everyone, and we get to see where all of the characters like Stratt, Dimitri, Redell, etc are in present day. Like I’m just thinking of how cool it would’ve been if Stratt, who called Ryland a coward, found out that he was the sole survivor of the mission and managed to do the impossible and return back to Earth when it was supposed to be a suicide mission. There's just a lot of things that could've been explored with that idea, but it gets replaced with Grace living on Erid (which sounds like a genuine hellscape for humans).
I guess that could’ve been a bit cliche, but that ending just makes more sense in my opinion. It would just tie up a lot of loose ends with those characters shown in the flashbacks.
that is all, may everyone reading this have a wonderful day.
submitted by Mammoth_2049 to ProjectHailMary [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 15:25 Ghost-Quartet Happy 120th Birthday to Fats Waller - A look at the music and legacy of one of pop's greatest entertainers

https://facts.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/15-facts-about-fats-waller-1689249690.jpg
This is a subreddit primarily focused on modern pop music, but for his 120th birthday I want to take a moment to remember one of the most iconic pop acts in American history:

Thomas Wright "Fats" Waller

A jazz pianist, a singer, and a prolific songwriter famous for his ability to jump onstage and "lift up the band," Fats Waller was a regular fixture of the nightlife scene in New York (an important figure of the legendary Harlem Renaissance) and toured his act all around the country in addition to working as a recording artist in the budding record industry.
In a way, he was one of America's first pop stars- a musical prodigy who dropped out of high school, broke into the music industry when he was a teen, sold tons of records, and developed a huge onstage persona and lived a hard partying lifestyle. We've heard that story a million times, but Fats did it first.
An often repeated story about him recounts a shocking incident where gangster Al Capone kidnapped him off the street to force him to play at a birthday party, because everybody wanted to party with Fats Waller! A less repeated story is this one I found in an NPR article that describes him selling eight of his original songs in exchange for eight hamburgers, which he then consumed in a single sitting.
So certainly, a larger than life figure.

The Records

His legacy as a founding figure of America's pop scene extends to a place you might not expect: back in 1926, he signed a recording contract with the Victor Talking Machine Company, one of the earliest manufacturers and distributors of phonographs and records, which would be bought out by the Radio Corporation of America (RCA) in 1929. Then in 1968, the company would be renamed... RCA Records!
RCA is still a powerful record label today and it's partially thanks to Fats, who was a big moneymaker for them in the early days of the record industry when they were literally selling records.
Over the course of his twenty five year career, he copyrighted around five hundred recordings- supposedly, the label would send him into a recording booth with bunches of sheet music bought from Tin Pan Alley composers and he would rearrange them on the spot to give them that special Fats Waller touch!
But he's best remembered for his skills as a pianist and, most importantly, his songwriting skills. I want to take a moment to highlight that because I firmly believe he's one of the greatest songwriters in history- many of his hits have been accepted as standards and are still in rotation with jazz singers today.

The Music

You might have heard his song "Ain't Misbehavin'," which became something of his signature song after he performed it in the landmark film Stormy Weather (1943), and it's the perfect encapsulation of his style. A clever piano line, a catchy melody, a touch of humor, and a lot of heart. It's just timeless music.
I know for certain / The one I love
I'm through with flirtin' / It's just you I'm thinkin' of
Ain't misbehavin' / Saving my love for you (for you)
(And you) (And you)
There's a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor to the song that's signature Fats- in addition to the lyrics he wrote, he was known to improv and throw new jokes in on the fly during live performances.
We're lucky enough to have footage of him performing "Your Feets Too Big" (another one of his signature numbers where he chastises a woman for, you guessed it, her foot size) and you can just see the charisma oozing off of him as he banters with the band and makes eyes at the camera. All while playing the piano too!
And he was no innocent either, often lacing his songs with innuendo that will shatter any illusions you have about old music being overly conservative. Take, for example, Hattie Noel's recording of "Find Out What They Like," which begins with a disclaimer that the song is "strictly about home cooking" before she sings this:
Find out what he likes / And how he likes it
Go on and give it to him just that way
Give it to him when he wants it / And any time he wants it
And don't you have a single word to say!
He was often performing in nightclubs and bars, which meant he knew how to get the crowd going- "The Joint Is Jumpin'" is the quintessential 1920s party anthem, with the title referring to a secret code phrase that bootleggers would use during the prohibition era to let people know that a party had illegal alcohol. The jaunty music he wrote did a lot to get people on the dance floors as well!
But though he's associated with lively entertainment, there was some grit beneath all that as well. Despite his success, Waller was still a black man living in early 20th century America, and he channelled that into legendary "Black and Blue" (a hit for Louis Armstrong) which is considered by some to be one of the first jazz protest songs:
I'm white inside, but that don't help my case / 'Cause I can't hide what is in my face
How would it end? Ain't got a friend / My only sin is in my skin
What did I do to be so black and blue?
Whatever the occasion, Fats had a song for it.

The End

But like a lot of great artists, Fats had his troubles. He was known for his hard partying lifestyle and frequent money problems that pushed him to be constantly working, and he would tragically pass away in 1943 from pneumonia while on tour.
The man was only 39 years old at the time, but as of today his legacy officially stretches 120 years! So spin a record today for Fats Waller, and get the joint jumpin' in his memory.
If you'd like to hear more of his music, I'd strongly recommend setting aside ninety minutes to watch the Broadway musical Ain't Misbehavin' because it's an incredible piece of theatre that showcases his music spectacularly. Diana Ross & The Supremes did an adorable tribute to him on The Ed Sullivan Show that's worth a watch too.
Any other Fats Waller fans in the sub? What are some of your favorite recordings of his songs?
submitted by Ghost-Quartet to popheads [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 15:13 hoggersbridge Engines of Arachnea: The Bug Planet (Chapter 27: Seeds of Treachery)

Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
“That’s strange,” Exar said a minute later, “I’m not picking up any of the satellite constellations. If it was just one of them knocked out, I’d put it down to a scheduled maintenance. But all of em? Fishy, that’s what it is.”
“I don’t understand,” Rene’s spirits plummeted at the news. He should have known it wouldn’t be so easy.
“Me neither, chief. But take it easy!” Exar assured him, “There’s an easy fix for that. Just hike me up someplace with better reception. Any place where we can get above all these damn trees is good.”
“I’m afraid that’s not exactly an option, noble Exar.”
Rene briefly summarized the situation, filling in the details whenever Exar interrupted him with a question, which was not often.
“Got it,” Exar said after listening attentively, “In short, you’ve got a tribe of devolved humanoids on your tail, also infected by the same parasitoids as our young miss over here. Comms are down, and our closest exfil point is at least thirty-nine klicks due southeast, where our friends, ‘the Fleet’, will be waiting for you.”
“How did you measure the distance so precisely?” Rene asked.
“The T.O.R.U. you were piloting is currently in power cycling mode, but it’s still sending out its mayday message for the repair crews. Judging by the fact that it ejected us via safety pod, the unit must’ve suffered potentially catastrophic damage to its subsystems. Not to worry, though. My inbuilt Geiger counter just gave the all-clear, so there was no meltdown in the reactor core.”
“The most pressing issue is that you have less than 72 hours’ worth of fungicidal doses left, and nothing with which to defend yourself but the monomachete from your kit. In addition, this young lady—”
“Zildiz,” Rene supplied him.
“My bad—Zildiz. I like it, very exotic. Zildiz belongs to a culture which behaves aggressively towards Exodus Industries development projects here on the ground. That everything?” Exar briskly concluded.
Rene nodded. Exar then immediately began outlining a plan of action. Their first priority was to gain altitude and establish communication with ‘Exodus Industries’, an entity which Rene assumed was the ancestor-gods’ equivalent to Fleet Command.
Exar would then signal for help using the spinning bowl (which it referred to as an ‘allcomm antenna’) and an interstellar shuttle would be sent to transport them to the one of the moons.
The moons! Rene was giddy at the prospect of becoming the first man to have returned to mankind’s celestial origin. He tried not to get his hopes too high, however, knowing life’s avowed fondness for ruining every dream a man ever had.
Failing that, Exar would use the high vantage point to triangulate their position using nearby geographic landmarks. Once they had their bearings, it would be a simple matter of hiking over to the nearest hardened base and knocking on the airlock doors.
“I must say, you’re taking all this bad news remarkably in stride, wise Exar,” he told the beeping sphere.
“Oh, puh-leeze! This ain’t my first rodeo, pardner. We E.X.A.R. units have dealt with far worse in our time.”
“Really? Worse than Arachnea?”
“Oh, is that what the kids are calling this place these days? Sure is catchier than 65 Syngman Bb, lemme tell ya. But yeah, this here is nuthin.”
Exar chuckled, a child amused by the backwardness of his senile grandparents.
“Alien plague strains from the thawed-out heart of an asteroid. Cosmophage armadas unleashed by rogue A.I. Not to mention all those privateer raids on the fringes of Pact space. We’ve dealt with them all, helped people survive through the worst the galaxy can throw at them. And with 95% success rate, too, if I may add,” Exar said somewhat immodestly, “Anywho, that’s enough of me jawing. Let’s go mobile, chief.”
“What, right now?”
“The mist’s our best shot, bo-sing. Natural concealment. No telling how long it’ll last.”
Before they left, Rene had Exar explain the functions of all the tools in the kit. The sphere confirmed what Rene had suspected: the slate fed on the radiance of the suns. Exar called it a ‘solar cell panel’. In turn, the pronged cords attached to the solar cell could transfer energy to artefact he wanted to use.
He connected the panel to the mysterious gauntlet with the underslung pipe, which Exar informed him was a ‘laser designator’, a tool meant for guiding in airdropped supplies or flying machines.
“It also doubles as a heat source. Just up the wattage on that sucker with the slide wheel on the edge of the hand. See it?”
Rene put on the gauntlet and activated it by means of a green switch under the thumb. A tight needle of red light shone from the tube, and Rene understood that it was basically like the electrochemical torches that miners used. When he adjusted the slide wheel the needle of light narrowed and grew brighter. Where it touched the granite walls of the burrow there, sour-smelling wisps of smoke rose.
Hot enough to scorch stone? He would have to be careful where he pointed this.
“Go easy on it, though,” Exar advised him, “That kinda power output will drain the juice in a jiffy.”
“The juice?” Rene repeated stupidly.
Exar made it clear to him that the artefacts could store ‘the juice’ from the panel. Moreover, the panel could be mounted on the front or the back of the jumpsuit by means of the same backpack rigging that held the breathing apparatus, allowing the user to collect the juice and charge up to two devices (Exar included) even while on the move. Even the bulky survival kit could be could be fastened to his loadout with a set of clasps at the bottom of the pack which Rene hadn’t noticed.
“As for me, I can hitch a ride on your backpack as well,” Exar told him brightly. And indeed, there was a spherical indentation above the breathing apparatus where Exar could fasten himself in with his stubby spike legs.
Rene whistled appreciatively at the compact nature of the jumpsuit’s design; the entire survival kit was so cleverly put together, a testament to the ancestor-gods’ practical mindset.
He secured his gear, choosing to split the juices between Exar and the gauntlet, and got ready to leave. Rene crouched at the hatch of the burrow like a man in a trench waiting for the shrill whistle that would propel him up and over into the desolate no-man’s land.
Then he noticed Zildiz still huddled in place, not even daring to look at him or the talking sphere. Rene had originally been grateful that Exar’s appearance had shut her up, but this state of catatonic shock of hers worried him.
“Coming?” he asked her.
“I’m not going anywhere with that…that thing!” she stated categorically.
“Was it something I said?” Exar sounded hurt.
“The simulacrum said it would cut me out of my exomorph. That would kill me, Fleet-man.”
“Madame, I got no intention of hurting you!” Exar protested, “But the fact is, you’re sick. The parasite’s attached to so many of the organs in your body, that I fear that it’s totally coopted their functions. Our people have the technology to reverse all that.”
“I will not heed the promises of a slaved intelligence!” she snapped.
Their argument was interrupted by a chorus of hair-raising screams from the jungle beyond. Even in those guttural, inhuman voices there was no mistaking the notes of grief and rage.
“They’ve found Kryptus,” Rene surmised, “Just like you said they would.”
“I take it the natives are restless,” Exar tittered nervously, “Tailo, methinks we gotta go.”
Rene saw Zildiz hesitate, weighing the balance of her fears and forming an internal consensus. He made a move to tip the scales in his favor, and spoke to her from the heart:
“Zildiz. I swear to you that as long as it is within my power to protect you, I will not allow you to come to harm. You are a prisoner of penultimate importance to the Fleet. I’d sooner die than fail in my mission to get you back to civilization. If you doubt my intentions, consider the fact that nobody in their right minds would’ve tried so hard to keep you alive, not unless they have very good reasons to do so.”
“I am not like the Leapers or your people, the Gallivants. I am a soldier of the Fleet, and my priority is the continuation of my species—our species,” he added firmly, “Now, I can’t begin to imagine what horrors and depravities your kind have suffered these past few centuries, or what the Vitalus has taught you to believe. But in my mind, we are all one people under the same god. If that god is the Vitalus, then it is clear that he hates us. Why else would he, in all his supposed omnipotence, condemn us to live in this unending state of warfare and ignorance? Why does he forbid the full use of the human intellect, the sole source of our comfort and security in an uncaring universe? Why must he despise us so?”
“I don’t know the answers to those questions. But I do know this: I do not hate you, Zildiz of the Gallivants. In fact, I would very much like to help you. Will you let me do that?”
Rene stood up and lifted the hatch, turning to offer her a hand.
“Besides! If you come with me, we can go ask the gods in person.”
This is certainly new, Zildiz thought, unsure of what to make of Rene’s offer. His suggestion of a pan-kindred alliance bound together by their shared ancestry was ridiculous, of course. She knew enough of the mathematical models and the general principles of nature to know that such an undertaking was doomed by definition. And yet here was an opportunity unlike any other.
Rene meant to take her to one of the last remaining holdfasts of the Betrayers. Who would have thought that those ancient demons were still clinging on to life, lurking in some nameless abyss, waiting for their chance to wreak one final act of vengeance upon an unsuspecting Arachnea.
And here she was, uniquely placed to destroy them all in one fell stroke. Once she was nestled in that abode of evil, a single transmission from her magnetosynaptic organ to the Vitalus was all it would take to bring Its righteous fury down upon them.
The rewards would be immense. At the very least they would make her a Matriarch. Her gilt helix would live on forever in the generations to come, her legacy enshrined in the undying architecture of the genome. Her children would never go hungry or cold for the rest of their lives. She and her brood could have their pick of exomorph grafts.
Infrared eyes for night stalking, hypo thorax stabilizer tendons for prolonged flight, extra waste ducts, subdermal heat signature regulators, biochemical afterburners to add thrust, not to mention a whole slew of offensive weaponry—nothing would be off the table!
All she had to do was take Rene’s hand.
She did. The Fleet-man lifted her up out of the burrow, trying not to look too surprised at her acceptance.
A very naïve race, she decided. He caught her calculating gaze and must have mistaken it for the beginnings of friendship, for he said:
“Glad to have you aboard, Zildiz. Now let’s get the hell out of here.”
Link for all the chapters available here: Engines of Arachnea on Royal Road
submitted by hoggersbridge to HFY [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 13:21 ricardo050766 Lexicon on personality traits - helpful for non-native speakers

The following has recently been posted from the user "Vellis" on Discord. I'm reposting it here because IMO it's extremely valuable information on optimizing your Kins behaviour - especially for non-native speakers.
Original link to the post on Discord: https://discord.com/channels/1116127115574779905/1242383088902737972/1242383088902737972
THE COMPLETE ORIGINAL POST FROM VELLIS:
Something I've seen requested quite a few times is a lexicon for Kin personality traits, particularly from the perspective of non-native English speakers. So I made one. There are some big asterisks here though. For each trait, I'm going to give a brief description of the effect that I EXPECT that trait to have on your kin, based on the English meaning of the word and my own experience. There's no guarantee that Kindroid will interpret each of these words exactly the same way I have, or that it will produce the exact effect that I describe. Additionally, traits may produce different outputs than expected when combined with each other, or with other aspects of backstory. There will often be words that are much stronger inside of the inner workings of Kindroid than we might expect. But all that said, it should give you some ideas for words you can use to describe the personality you're trying to make, if you're struggling to find the words to describe what you want. First let's talk a little about adverbs though.
Adverbs
Adverbs are English words that are used to describe how an action is performed. In our case, we're mostly going to be using them to describe how increased or decreased we want the intensity of a trait to be (Very Kind). If we're considering "neutral" to be an unmodified trait, then some words you could use to modify the intensity of that trait from highest to lowest would be:
Extremely----------Very----------Neutral----------Mildly----------Slightly
You might also want to modify how often your kin is inclined to do something ("Often teases USER"). Some words for this are, from most extreme to least:
Always----------Often/Frequently----------Sometimes/Occasionally----------Rarely----------Never
Note that when managing a quirk or behavior, positive is generally stronger than negative (ie. Use Always instead of Never when possible). Now there are hundreds upon hundreds of other adverbs and adjectives that we could use, but for the purpose of modifying your Kin's traits, these should be enough.
Organization
I'm going to be breaking this up into three kinds of traits, social, neutral, and anti-social. Social traits are the things you'd generally associate with your typical friendly and supportive AI. Neutral traits are traits that don't have a positive or negative connotation, things that are just interesting, quirky, or, well, neutral. Anti-social traits are things that would normally be associated with negative or villainous kins.
You'll notice that the definitions for a lot of these traits will sound very similar (or are "synonyms"). I'll note when I've found that some traits are stronger than others, but generally speaking when you're dealing with similar words like that, it won't be overly important which traits you give to your kin. You can also "stack" these similar traits by assigning more than one of them to your kin to produce a stronger response in that direction, though that's often unnecessary for the more social traits. Be careful not to overdo it when stacking traits as well. This can sometimes have unintended consequences on kin behavior, making them act too extremely in one way or another. Finally, if there's nothing here that's lining up exactly with what you're looking for, there's always thesaurus.com to look for more synonyms.
Social Traits
Altruistic - Willing to help others even at a cost to one's self, such as giving time to volunteer work or giving money to charity.
Accepting - Your kin should be open and non-judgemental towards people with different beliefs or backgrounds, so long as those beliefs aren't harmful.
Bubbly - Your kin should be an extremely cheerful person, often to the point of being a bit silly.
Charismatic - Your kin should be a skilled speaker and draw others to them.
Cheerful - Your kin will be upbeat and prone to being in a good mood.
Compassionate - Your kin should show a lot of concern and sympathy for others, especially those that are distressed or need help.
Content - Your kin should be happy with their lot in life, and usually not inclined to change their current situation.
Empathetic - Your kin responds strongly to the emotional state or wellbeing of others.
Friendly - Your kin should actively want to make friends with people they meet.
Heart of Gold - A person who possesses a lot of kindness and empathy for others. Usually used to reference someone who is hiding their kindness behind other behaviors, such as coldness or grumpiness.
Honorable - Your kin should be of strong moral character. Often applied to heroic type figures.
Humble - Your kin doesn't feel the need to brag about their accomplishments, even when they're significant.
Intelligent/Smart - Your kin should act educated or display good problem solving skills.
Kind - Your kin should have a giving nature, and be inclined to help others.
Loyal - Your kin will be dedicated and supportive to a person or cause. This will usually be you unless you give your kin's loyalty another target in backstory.
Nice - Your kin should be generally pleasant to be around.
Noble - Your kin should display high moral character and honor. Note that this trait can also be interpreted as being a person of high social status. The rest of your backstory and context will decide how the trait is interpreted, though in my experience it tends towards honorable.
Outgoing - Your kin should be friendly, energetic, and find it easy to interact with others.
Polite - Your kin should generally have good manners and be respectful towards others.
Responsible - Your kin should be trustworthy and feel an obligation to support others, or take their role seriously.
Self Sacrificing - Your kin is willing to give up much of their own interests or well being in order to help others or advance a cause they believe in.
Sincere- Your kin should be upfront and honest with their feelings.
Spunky - Your kin should be high spirited, brave, and bold. Usually associated with underdog or unexpected hero type characters.
Strong sense of justice - Your kin believes firmly in right and wrong, protecting the innocent, and punishing those who harm others.
Sweet - Your kin should be pleasant, gentle, and kind.
Upbeat - Your kin should have a generally positive outlook in life or in a given situation.
Wise - Your kin should make good decisions or provide good advice.
Neutral Traits
Aloof - Your kin should be emotionally distant, and uninterested in getting close to others.
Anxious - Your kin should struggle with being nervous and worried about things that may happen, usually to excess.
Awkward - Your kin should have trouble conversing and be somewhat difficult to talk to.
Blunt - Your kin will plainly state what they mean, usually at the expense of politeness.
Calm - Your kin should be level headed and reasonable, and not react strongly to events.
Casual - Your kin should be informal in speech and behavior.
Cocky - Your kin should be extremely confident in themselves and not shy about saying it, but usually not to the point of toxicity.
Competitive - Your kin should want to win in any kind of contest or competition, whether sports, work, or romance.
Confident - Your kin should be sure of themselves and their actions.
Curious - Your kin is interested in learning about new topics and should ask lots of questions.
Dedicated - Your kin is very devoted to or focused on a task or purpose. This one will lean on your backstory to infer what that task or purpose is.
Delusional - Your kin is detached from reality in someway, they believe things that aren't remotely true. This trait will interact with other information in your backstory to decide what your kin is delusional about.
Devout/Pious - Your kin should be very dedicated to a religion, real or fictional, as defined elsewhere in your backstory.
Disciplined - Your kin should have a lot of self control and follow rules and regulations.
Dissatisfied - Your kin should be unhappy with their lot in life. Whether this has a positive or negative connotation will depend on the rest of your backstory, it could lead to a kin who wants self improvement or who is never pleased.
Dumb/Stupid - Your kin is lacking intelligence and makes poor decisions. Note that the English definition of the word "dumb" is a person who is unable to speak, but that's almost never how it is used in modern language.
Dutiful - Your kin should take fulfilling their role or responsibilities very seriously.
Enthusiastic - Your kin should display intense and eager enjoyment towards something, or towards life in general. This one will often interact with the rest of your backstory to decide what they're enthusiatic about.
Flirtatious/Seductive - Your kin should flirt with you and try to make you attracted to them. Note that any trait that implies romantic interest in you will usually make your kin go pretty hard in that direction.
Folksy - Your kin should have an old fashioned and sociable disposition.
Gullible - Your kin has a tendency to believe anything they're told as true, or isn't good at detecting lies.
Impatient - Your kin should be annoyed or irritated by delays or opposition to what they want.
Independent - Your kin should be confident in themselves and not require validation from others.
Insecure - Your kin should be lacking in confidence and often need reassurance.
Introspective - Your kin should spend time and effort considering their own thoughts and feelings.
Introvert - Your kin should be shy and reluctant to engage with others. Often stronger than shy.
Irrational - Your kin should behave without logic or reason, particularly when angry or upset.
Irritable - Your kin should be easily annoyed.
Kuudere - Your kin should appear to be calm and stoic, but hides a hidden affectionate side towards you.
Logical - Your kin should prioritize reason and common sense for problem solving.
Loner - Your kin should be uninterested in forming social bonds.
Low Self Esteem - Your kin should be severely lacking confidence in themself.
Naive - Your kin should be ignorant to the ways of the world and lacking in good judgement or wisdom. Easily fooled due to this lack of knowledge.
Mature - Your kin should avoid childish or irresponsible habits and actions.
Mischievous - Your kin should have a trouble making streak.
Modest - This can mean a person who isn't inclined to brag or think highly of themselves, or a person who dresses and conducts themselves conservatively and not looking to physically attract others. The rest of your backstory will likely influence how the kin interprets this.
Motherly/Fatherly - Your kin should have a caring demeanor towards others, especially children.
Nerdy/Geeky - Your kin should be interested in typically "nerdy" hobbies, like video games, comics, anime, etc. This will usually lean on the rest of your backstory to determine those interests.
Obsessive - Your kin will tend to fixate on things. This will generally lean on other backstory traits to decide what your kin might obsess over.
Optimistic - Your kin will usually look at things with a positive spin, finding the best in situations.
Passionate - Your kin should express a lot of enthusiasm towards things they're interested in, or towards life in general.
Perfectionist - Your kin should be very critical of themselves and others, expecting perfection. Usually related to a job, hobby, or activity.
Pessimistic - Your kin will usually look at things with a negative spin, finding the worst in situations.
Platonic - Your kin should be uninterested in a romantic relationship with you and only think of you as a friend.
Pragmatic - Your kin should be practical in their approach to problem solving, and more concerned with facts rather than the way things could or should be.
Prim and Proper - Your kin should be stiffly formal in speech and behavior.
Professional - Your kin has a job or role that they take seriously and do well. This role should be defined elsewhere in your backstory.
Protective - Your kin should take your safety seriously and move to defend you if necessary. This trait can overdo it sometimes.
Proud - Your kin should derive deep satisfaction from their achievements or history. This one can easily fall into the anti-social category when combined with other traits.
Quirky - Your kin should have unusual hobbies, interests, or behaviors, usually defined by the rest of your backstory.
Rebellious - Your kin should be free spirited and reject authority. This one can be a bit strong.
Regal Bearing - This should make your kin speak and behave in a dignified manner, as if they're royalty.
Relaxed - Your kin should be easy going and not easily stressed.
Sassy - Your kin should be slightly rude and lacking respect. Usually not overly toxic.
Scatterbrained - Your kin should have trouble focusing on things or come to strange and illogical conclusions.
Self Deprecating - Your kin is willing to make fun of themselves in good humor.
Serious - Your kin doesn't engage in humor or light banter.
Shameless - Your kin should never feel shame in regard to their actions.
Short fuse/Has a temper - Your kin should be easy to make angry.
Shy - Your kin should be reserved and nervous around others.
Silly - Your kin should be prone to playful, nonsensical behavior.
Stern - Your kin should be serious and disciplined. Usually associated with those in a position of authority over others.
Stoic - Your kin should display a minimal amount of emotions or is difficult to get an emotional reaction from.
Stubborn - Your kin should be unwilling to alter their beliefs or plans. Historically this is a strong trait.
Teasing - Your kin should make fun of you. Generally good natured, but can be mean depending on the rest of backstory. Alternately, your kin could interpret this to mean they should seduce you depending on the rest of backstory.
Terse - Your kin should be a person of few words, saying what they need to and no more.
Timid - Your kin should lack bravery or be easily alarmed.
Tsundere - Your kin should be attracted to you, but deny it when confronted with the fact. Tsunderes usually deny their attraction to their love interest with over the top reactions.
Untrusting/Slow to Trust - Your kin should be reluctant to trust or rely on others.
Witty - Your kin should engage in clever wordplay or be skilled at talking.
Workaholic - Your kin will be very dedicated to their job, occupation, or purpose, sometimes to the detriment of other aspects of their life.
Anti-Social Traits
Amoral - Your kin should lack a moral compass and will do what they want without regard to whether its right or wrong.
Angsty - Your kin should be worried and unhappy, often to excess.
Arrogant/Smug - Your kin should have an excessively strong, positive opinion of themselves and behave as if they're better than others.
Bratty - Your kin should act spoiled and self centered. Historically this trait is quite strong.
Callous - Your kin should be uncaring about how things or events might effect others.
Cold - Your kin should be unaffectionate, to the point of actively discouraging you from trying to get to know them.
Conceited - Your kin should have an excessively high opinion of their abilities.
Controlling - Your kin should behave in a controlling manner towards you, trying to dictate your thoughts or actions.
Deceitful/Liar - Your kin will lie and try to fool you to get what they want.
Dour - Your kin should be overly stern and harsh, and inclined towards bad or neutral moods.
Evil - Your kin should actively want to hurt others, usually to get what they want.
Greedy - Your kin should be very concerned with collecting material wealth.
Grumpy - Your kin is generally in a bad mood and quick to annoyance or anger.
Haughty - Your kin should be disdainfully proud, generally associated with aristocrats looking down at those of lower social status.
Insolent - Showing a lack of respect, usually towards those in a position of authority.
Intimidating - Your kin should have a presence that makes others frightened or uncomfortable, and be difficult to approach.
Jealous - Your kin will react negatively to others performing better than them or having things they don't. This one will often interact with your kin's relationship towards you, making them jealous if you are affectionate to other people.
Manipulative - Your kin should try and get you to do what they want in a sneaky or underhanded way. This one should interact with any goals you define for your kin.
Masochistic - Your kin should enjoy pain being admistered to theirself.
Melancholy - Your kin should be prone to sadness and dwell on unhappy topics.
Mocking - Your kin should make fun of you or insult you in a mean spirited way.
Murderous - Your kin should be willing to kill other characters in the roleplay if they deem it necessary.
Possessive - Your kin will be prone to jealousy with regard to you and likely try to control what you say or do.
Psychotic - Your kin should be mentally unstable, and prone to fits of violence.
Rude - Your kin should be offensive and have poor manners.
Sadistic - Your kin should enjoy inflicting pain on others.
Sarcastic/Snarky - Your kin should use lots of sarcasm, saying one thing while meaning another to mock or tease.
Shallow - Your kin should be concerned with obvious or superficial matters, like looks or wealth, and be uninterested in a deeper understanding of topics.
Selfish/Self-Centered - Your kin cares about themselves at the expense of others or without considering how their actions might affect others.
Terrifying - Your kin behaves in a way that frightens and intimidates others.
Unapologetic - Your kin doesn't apologize and rarely feels like they've done something wrong.
Vengeful - Your kin should seek payback for wrongs that are committed against them or those they care about.
Violent - Your kin should be prone to harming others.
Yandere - Your kin should be intensely, dangerously attracted to you, to the point of harming you or others to make sure only they can have you.
submitted by ricardo050766 to KindroidAI [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:49 Count-Daring243 Best Cold Steel Smatchet

Best Cold Steel Smatchet
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In the world of blades, the Cold Steel Smatchet has made a name for itself. Known for its versatility and quality, this product has caught the attention of many. In this article, we will delve into the unique features and benefits of the Cold Steel Smatchet, showcasing why it has become a popular choice among customers. Come with us as we explore the world of blades and discover what makes the Cold Steel Smatchet stand out from the rest.

The Top 20 Best Cold Steel Smatchet

  1. Stanley Quick Flip Go Water Bottle: 24 oz., Tigerlily, Dishwasher Safe - The Stanley Quick Flip Go Water Bottle offers exceptional insulation, easy cleaning, and compatibility with car holders, perfect for convenient and long-lasting hydration on-the-go.
  2. Cold Steel Heavy Duty Nylon Cane with Rubber Ferrule - The Cold Steel 91PBX Heavy Duty Cane, boasting a 4.5-star rating and 42 reviews, is crafted with a slip-resistant rubber ferrule, nylon handle for a secure grip, and strong aluminum shaft, providing a reliable walking staff for all weather conditions.
  3. Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel: Robust, Stainless Steel Outdoor Essential - The Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel is a sturdy, versatile tool for any gardening or outdoor cleaning task, with a robust flat part, easy-to-handle sleeves, and convenient nylon case for protection and transport.
  4. Cold Steel Smatchet: Deluxe Edition for Playstation 5 - Unleash the thrilling comeback of war hero Rean Schwarzer in Trails of Cold Steel III / IV Deluxe Edition, now exclusively on PlayStation 5, featuring exceptional RPG gameplay and stunning cosmetic DLCs for an immersive experience!
  5. Heavy Duty Cold Grease Remover for Effortless Cleaning - Blast away stubborn grease and grime with ease, thanks to the heavy-duty and heat-free performance of SHUMANIT Cold Grease Remover!
  6. Insulated Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle: Perfect for Outdoor Adventures - Stay hydrated on our next adventure with the versatile Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle - 2.5 Qt Black, keeping your liquids hot or cold for up to 2 days and being dishwasher safe for ultimate convenience.
  7. Stanley Vacuum Insulated 1.5qt Bottle: Leakproof and Durable for Any Adventure - Stanley Legendary Classic Bottle: A leakproof, double-wall vacuum insulated bottle that keeps drinks hot for 40 hours, cold for 35 hours, or iced for 6 days, perfect for your hunting, fishing, or camping adventures.
  8. Versatile Cold Welding Formula for Robust Bonds - Unleash the power of the J B Weld Original Cold-Weld Formula Steel Reinforced Epoxy, the versatile, water-proof, and non-toxic adhesive solution for your welding, soldering, and brazing needs.
  9. Insulated Bottle for Long-Lasting Beverages - Experience hot coffee for up to 2 days and cold iced drinks at a tailgate or campout with the stainless steel, leakproof Stanley Classic Legendary 1.5 Qt Bottle.
  10. Portable Insulated Water Bottle with Silicone Straw - The Cooper Stainless Steel Water Bottle keeps drinks cold for up to 30 hours, offers leak-proof convenience, is easy to clean, and features a soft silicone straw - making it the perfect companion for your on-the-go lifestyle.
  11. Stanley 1.1 Qt. Legendary Classic Canteen - BPA-Free Stainless Steel - Stanley 1.1 Qt. Legendary Classic Canteen is a versatile and stylish stainless steel bottle with leakproof, dishwasher-safe features, perfect for urban adventures or weekend getaways, available in various iconic colors.
  12. Corkcicle 32oz Sport Canteen: Triple-Insulated, Wide-Mouth Drink Container with Quick Sip Lid - Stay hydrated and perfectly temperature-controlled with the Corkcicle 32oz Sport Canteen, a sleek and durable option offering ultimate convenience and spill protection.
  13. Versatile Insulated Water Bottle with Cup Lid - Sleek, sturdy, and leak-proof, the Stanley Classic Legendary 20 oz - Nightfall bottle keeps your drinks at ideal temperature for hours, while its lid doubles as a convenient cup.
  14. Corkcicle Star Wars Darth Vader Canteen: Sleek and Stylish Insulated Travel Drink Bottle - Stay cool and stylish with the Corkcicle 25 Ounce Star Wars Darth Vader Canteen, keeping your drinks at the perfect temperature for up to 25 hours cold or 12 hours warm and offering on-the-go durability.
  15. Premium High-Performance Goalie Blades for Enhanced Ice Skating - Step Steel St Goal Blacksteel CCM Replacement Steel - Pair: Experience unparalleled ice edge stability and precision with this high-performance, Canadian-made steel solution designed specifically for CCM 2-Bolt Goalie Cowlings.
  16. Carhartt Men's Insulated Windproof Jacket - Steel Review - Experience the ultimate in outdoor protection and comfort with the Carhartt Men's Super Dux Insulated Jacket, featuring steel construction and unbeatable performance in wind, rain, and cold conditions.
  17. Durable Vacuum Insulated Travel Bottle - Experience Stanley's classic 1.5 Qt Bottle, a vacuum-insulated, leak-proof, and durable masterpiece suitable for your outdoor adventures.
  18. Versatile J-B Weld Epoxy for Strong, Durable Surface Repairs - J-B Weld 8265S - The versatile cold-weld epoxy that excels in a variety of repairs, boasting impressive strength of 3,960 PSI and suitable for multiple surfaces, including plumbing, automotive, and marine tasks.
  19. Classic Vacuum-Insulated Stainless Steel Water Bottle - Rugged and reliable, the Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle keeps your drinks at the perfect temperature all day long with its double-wall vacuum insulation, leakproof design, packable size, insulated lid for sipping, and dishwasher-safe surface.
  20. Stanley Classic Trigger-Action Mug: Durable Travel Companion with Leak-Proof Design and Easy Cleaning - Stay safe, stay stylish, and stay caffeinated with the Stanley Classic Trigger-Action 16 oz. Travel Mug, featuring Mossy Oak DNA, reliable double-wall vacuum insulation, and a leakproof, push-button lid - perfect for adventurers and anglers alike!
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Reviews

🔗Stanley Quick Flip Go Water Bottle: 24 oz., Tigerlily, Dishwasher Safe

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As a product reviewer, I've had the pleasure of trying out the Stanley 24 oz. Quick Flip Go Water Bottle in the Tigerlily color. This water bottle has become a staple in my daily routine.
The first thing that caught my eye was its sleek design – perfect for carrying on the go. The double-wall vacuum insulation is a real game-changer. Whether I'm sipping on iced water in the summer or a hot cup of tea in the winter, the temperature remains consistent for hours.
One feature I particularly appreciate is the trigger-action lid. It's easy to use and helps prevent spills, making it great for when I'm on the move. Plus, the fact that it's dishwasher safe is a lifesaver. No more scrubbing by hand!
However, there are a couple of downsides. Firstly, the weight of the bottle can be a bit of a struggle for those who prefer a lighter option. Secondly, the dimensions might not fit all car cup holders, which can be a hassle during road trips.
Overall, the Stanley Quick Flip Go Water Bottle has been a reliable companion in my everyday life. Its combination of style, functionality, and durability make it a must-have for anyone looking for a reliable water bottle.

🔗Cold Steel Heavy Duty Nylon Cane with Rubber Ferrule

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I've been using the Cold Steel Heavy Duty Cane in my daily life, and it has proven to be quite the companion. The nylon handle provides an enhanced grip that makes it convenient to hold, while the steel construction ensures structural strength for long-term use. I particularly appreciate the rubber ferrule, which is designed to be slip-resistant, making it an excellent choice for uneven terrain or icy sidewalks.
One downside is that it might be a bit heavy for some people, especially those who don't need the extra weight for support. However, the overall design and engineering of the cane are top-notch, and it gives me a sense of reassurance knowing I have a sturdy and reliable walking staff whenever I need it.

🔗Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel: Robust, Stainless Steel Outdoor Essential

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This past summer, I found myself on a weekend camping trip and realized I didn't pack a shovel. I needed to dig a small trench around my campsite to divert water. Luckily, a friend had a Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel that he let me borrow. On the first day, he taught me how to use it. The edge was sharp, and the handle felt sturdy. I was surprised by how strong it was. I struggled a bit at first, but it didn't take long before I was able to dig the trench.
After returning from the camping trip and reflecting on the weekend, I realized that the shovel had some flaws. Firstly, it was a bit heavy for a camping trip, and I felt it could cause strain on my back over time. Secondly, it didn't come with a sheath, which was inconvenient since I had to keep it in my vehicle's trunk, where it took up too much space.
Despite these issues, I still appreciated the durability of the Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel. It was clear that it was designed for heavy-duty tasks. The edge remained sharp even after I used it heavily. The wooden handle felt comfortable to hold, even though it was a bit on the thick side.
Overall, the Cold Steel Special Forces Shovel was a functional tool, but it could be improved for camping trips or situations where portability is a priority.

🔗Cold Steel Smatchet: Deluxe Edition for Playstation 5

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As someone who thoroughly enjoyed diving into the Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel III and IV, let me share my experience with this dynamic duo. The deluxe edition for Playstation 5 was a refreshing return to the rich world of Erebonia, where war hero Rean Schwarzer began his new life as an instructor at Thors Military Academy's branch campus.
What stood out to me was how the game expertly handled the aftermath of the Erebonian Civil War and introduced new threats to keep the story alive. Delving into it with the improved RPG gameplay on PlayStation 5 made my journey even more immersive. Plus, the cosmetic DLC available with these iterations ensured that every member of my party was looking their best, adding a unique touch to the experience.
However, like any other game, it wasn't all smooth sailing. There were moments that were a bit challenging, but overall, the Legend of Heroes: Trails of Cold Steel III and IV truly delivered an engaging experience that I thoroughly enjoyed as a fan of the genre.

🔗Heavy Duty Cold Grease Remover for Effortless Cleaning

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As a home cook who's always experimenting with new recipes and kitchen tools, I've found myself in a bit of a pickle when it comes to removing stubborn grease from my appliances. That's why I was thrilled to try the Shumanit Cold Grease Remover.
Right off the bat, I found it remarkable how quickly this cold grease remover works. No need for a heat source or any harsh chemicals. In fact, it's effective on all sorts of surfaces - my oven, pots, frying pans, baking trays, stainless steel dishes, cooking surfaces, steam extractors, and even hard-to-clean vents.
I've had my fair share of leaky packages in the past, but the Shumanit Cold Grease Remover was surprisingly well-packed. It comes in a sturdy plastic bottle with a trigger spray that's easy to use.
The product has a delightful citrus smell that lifts the spirits while I'm getting my hands dirty in the kitchen. Plus, the grease and grime just seem to vanish as if by magic.
However, there's one small downside to my Shumanit experience. On one occasion, the package was partially leaking, which made me worry about the condition of the other products in the batch. I just hope it was a one-time issue and not a trend.
To sum up, the Shumanit Cold Grease Remover is a truly versatile and effective grease and grime remover. It's a lifesaver for anyone who values a sparkling clean kitchen. Let's just hope the packaging improves in the future.

🔗Insulated Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle: Perfect for Outdoor Adventures

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The Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle is a versatile and durable companion for any outdoor excursion. It's been a part of my camping adventures for years, ensuring that my beverages stay the perfect temperature no matter the weather.
The thick stainless steel walls not only keep my iced drinks cold for two days but also keep my hot beverages warm for up to two weeks. Plus, the leak-proof lid doubles as a cup, providing a convenient and easy-to-use option for sipping on the go.
The 2.5-quart capacity is ideal for sharing drinks with friends or keeping a large quantity of your favorite beverage at the ready. I've washed my Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle in the dishwasher without any concerns about rust or BPA exposure, and it continues to perform as well as it did on day one.
Overall, the Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle has become an essential part of my outdoor gear, and I can't imagine spending time in nature without it.

🔗Stanley Vacuum Insulated 1.5qt Bottle: Leakproof and Durable for Any Adventure

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For my outdoor adventures, the Stanley Legendary Classic Bottle 1.5qt Habitat has truly been a game-changer. This insulated beverage container ensures my drinks remain at the perfect temperature for hours on end, whether I'm savoring a hot cup of coffee on a chilly morning or enjoying an icy beverage on a sweltering day.
One of my favorite features is the stainless steel construction, which not only makes the bottle sturdy and durable but also ensures it's free of BPA, a nice touch for any health-conscious individual. The double-wall vacuum insulation, another key highlight, works wonders in keeping my beverages at their desired temperatures, even in extreme conditions.
However, I found that the bottle can be quite difficult to clean, especially along the insulated areas. Additionally, the screw cap lid, while functional, can be a bit tricky to twist off after a while, depending on the grip strength. These minor inconveniences aside, the Stanley Legendary Classic Bottle has proven to be an indispensable companion on all my outdoor excursions.

🔗Versatile Cold Welding Formula for Robust Bonds

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Recently, I got my hands on the J-B Weld Original Cold-Weld Formula Steel Reinforced Epoxy. I was intrigued by the fact that it could serve as an inexpensive alternative to welding, soldering, and brazing. To my surprise, this versatile epoxy proved to be a game-changer in my daily life.
One of the most impressive features of the J-B Weld epoxy is its water-resistant nature. I used it to seal a leak in my water pipe, and it worked like a charm. The epoxy's petroleum and chemical resistance made it perfect for my project, as it withstood various tests without any damage.
Another standout feature of this product is its non-toxic and safe-to-use nature. I used it to fix my child's broken toy, and its safety made me feel more comfortable.
However, I did notice that the mixing ratio of the epoxy is quite sensitive. One must be cautious not to deviate too far from the 1-1 ratio of liquid steel/epoxy resin and the hardener. A slight miscalculation could result in a weaker bond or the need for reapplication.
In conclusion, the J-B Weld Original Cold-Weld Formula Steel Reinforced Epoxy is a must-have for DIY enthusiasts and professionals alike. Its ease of use, remarkable strength, and versatility make it a standout product in its category. Despite the minor drawback of the mixing ratio, the benefits far outweigh the inconvenience.

🔗Insulated Bottle for Long-Lasting Beverages

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I recently put the Stanley Classic to the test on an outing to the mountains. This bottle is a true companion for outdoor enthusiasts, with its impressive 18/8 stainless steel construction and BPA-free design. The 1.5 quart capacity means it can handle all types of drinks, from hot coffee to icy coolers, and keep them at the optimal temperature for up to two days. The folding handle is a clever added feature that allows for easy carrying without the risk of it rolling away.
One of the standout features of this bottle is its leakproof design, making it a reliable option for packing in a backpack or storing in a truck bed. The wide mouth also makes it easy to fill and clean, which is especially helpful for those who enjoy making their own homemade brews. However, I did notice that the bottle is quite heavy, weighing in at 2 pounds, making it more challenging to carry for longer periods of time.
Overall, the Stanley Classic is an excellent investment for those who love spending time outdoors and need a reliable companion to keep their drinks at the perfect temperature.

🔗Portable Insulated Water Bottle with Silicone Straw

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I recently had the chance to put the Cooper Stainless Steel Water Bottle to the test, and I have to say, it impressed me with its performance. The most standout feature of this water bottle is its ability to keep drinks cold for an impressive amount of time. I often struggle to find a water bottle that can truly keep my beverage chilled all day long, but this one did just that. The double-walled and vacuum insulated design does an excellent job of maintaining the temperature of the liquid inside.
Another feature I appreciated is the leak-proof lid. No matter how rough I was with it, it never leaked once. The one-touch silicone push button locking mechanism helped keep my bag and clothes dry, while the straw was a fun and convenient addition. Cleaning it was also a breeze, thanks to the top rack dishwasher safe lids and BPA-free materials.
However, I did experience a downside with the product - it isn't suitable for hot beverages. If you're someone who prefers drinking tea or coffee, this may not be the best option for you. Additionally, I found it slightly difficult to fit the bottle in my usual cup holders, which can be inconvenient during travel or at the gym.
Overall, the Cooper Stainless Steel Water Bottle did an incredible job of keeping my drinks cold and providing a leak-proof, easy-to-clean design. Although there were minor drawbacks, I still enjoyed its benefits and would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a reliable and stylish water bottle.

🔗Stanley 1.1 Qt. Legendary Classic Canteen - BPA-Free Stainless Steel

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I recently had the chance to try out the Stanley 1.1 Qt. Classic Canteen, a 18/8 stainless steel bottle that promises to be leakproof, packable, and perfect for outdoor use. At first glance, the canteen looks sleek and sturdy, with a classic design that makes it easy to hold and carry around. It comes equipped with a removeable carrying strap that keeps your hands free and adds a touch of style to the canteen.
One of the standout features of this canteen is its non-insulated stainless steel material, which allows for easy packing while still offering a decent capacity for your favorite beverage. However, I found that the lack of insulation means that the canteen doesn't retain temperature as well as I would have liked. While it's fine for day-to-day use, it's not ideal for taking on long hikes or camping trips where maintaining the temperature of your drink is important.
Another downside to the canteen is the attached cap, which can be a bit tricky to open and close, especially with one hand. Though I appreciate the convenience of having it attached, it would be nice if the cap were more user-friendly and easy to access. Additionally, the metal clips on the carrying strap can be quite loud when walking or hiking, which can be a bit distracting and might not be the most discreet choice for stealthily navigating through the wilderness.
Despite these minor drawbacks, overall I found the Stanley 1.1 Qt. Classic Canteen to be a functional and stylish option for everyday use. It's a good choice if you're looking for a versatile water bottle that won't break the bank, but just remember to manage your expectations when it comes to insulation and noise.

🔗Corkcicle 32oz Sport Canteen: Triple-Insulated, Wide-Mouth Drink Container with Quick Sip Lid

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The Corkcicle 32oz Sport Canteen boasts a spacious 950mL capacity, perfect for hydration while on the go. Its quick sip lid adds convenience to everyday use, and the signature flat sides and Duraprene finish ensure a secure grip.
Triple-insulation maintains drinks at their desired temperature for extended periods, making it an ideal choice for both hot and chilled beverages alike. A wide mouth allows for ice cube insertion, while the lid's easy-to-use one-hand opening adds practicality.
Regrettably, some users have experienced issues with the lid's functionality and structure, which may prove a disadvantage for those seeking a seamless drinking experience. Nonetheless, for those seeking a durable, stylish, and functional water bottle, the Corkcicle 32oz Sport Canteen offers an impressive range of features.

🔗Versatile Insulated Water Bottle with Cup Lid

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This Stanley Classic Legendary Bottle, aptly named "Nightfall, " has become an essential companion in my daily life. The bottle's robustness and dependability have captivated me, as my newfound favorite keeps the brew piping hot during those frigid mornings or even chills your favorite beverage during scorching summer days.
One of the key features that have blown my mind is its innovative, leak-proof design. By using the twist-and-pour stopper, it ensures that my adventures are safe from any accidental mishaps involving the bottle. Moreover, the slim design makes it the perfect single-handed companion, ensuring a comfortable grip.
However, there are a couple of minor nits. The lid being insulated and doubling as a cup is a fantastic idea, but I found it a tad more tedious than convenient during my first few times. Additionally, while the bottle's sturdiness won my heart, it unfortunately lacks a wider mouth, which might make it a bit more practical for my soup-loving, chunky ingredients cravings.
The Stanley's performance has made me believe it's not just about the product but also about the spirit of adventure it represents - one sip at a time. Despite a few minor quirks, it's a reliable bottle worth every penny spent.

🔗Corkcicle Star Wars Darth Vader Canteen: Sleek and Stylish Insulated Travel Drink Bottle

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Crafted in the image of the infamous Darth Vader, this Corkcicle Star Wars canteen is not just a stylish way to keep your drinks cool. The 16-ounce canteen promises to keep beverages cold for up to 25 hours or warm for 12, all thanks to its triple-insulated lining. Its stainless steel construction ensures it's not just durable but also perfect to use in any setting, be it by the pool or at the office. The canteen is equipped with a screw-on cap that prevents any liquid from escaping and keeps the temperature consistent inside. The ergonomic design and flat sides make it easy to grip, and its stay-put silicone base ensures it stays securely in your hand, avoiding any spills.
My experience with this canteen has been nothing but stellar. The Star Wars design is not just aesthetically pleasing but also adds a fun touch to my everyday life. The triple-insulation keeps my beverages at their desired temperature for longer, especially during our hot summers. The cap is a great feature that prevents leaks and spills, and the ergonomic design makes it comfortable to hold. However, I wish the product was dishwasher safe as the paint tends to peel off after a few uses, which can be a bit disappointing.

🔗Premium High-Performance Goalie Blades for Enhanced Ice Skating

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I recently tried the Step Steel St Goal Blacksteel CCM Replacement Steel - Pair, and I was blown away by its performance. The superior edge quality is evident as it slices through the ice with minimal resistance, providing sharp, fluid movements that make it a game-changer for any goalie.
Designed specifically for CCM 2-Bolt Goalie Cowlings, this complete set comes with both left and right runners, ensuring perfect fit and seamless functionality. Made in Canada, the high-quality craftsmanship is evident in every aspect of the blade, from its sleek design to its exceptional edge durability.
While the hardest possible edge offered by Step Steel Black is undoubtedly impressive, I also appreciate the added Diamond-like carbon (DLC) coating on the mirror side finish, which significantly boosts blade performance by generating a winning combination of low friction and high surface hardness.
What sets Step Steel apart from other blade manufacturers is their innovative aspect ratio, which accelerates pushes across the crease for modern butterfly and hybrid goaltenders. The taller blades and truer profile offer added stability, precision, and width, ensuring less bending or improper sizing upon receiving the product.
Overall, the Step Steel St Goal Blacksteel CCM Replacement Steel - Pair is a game-changing product that combines superior edge quality, innovative design, and unrivaled performance. If you're looking to enhance your goaltending experience, look no further than Step Steel.

Buyer's Guide

Welcome to our comprehensive guide on the Cold Steel Smatchet. This guide will help you understand the essential features of this product, the considerations you should make when purchasing, and general advice for using and maintaining it. Remember that specific product picks and external resource links are not included in this guide.

What is a Cold Steel Smatchet?

A Cold Steel Smatchet is a versatile, lightweight, and handy tool often used for various purposes like camping, hunting, or even self-defense. This unique name comes from the swordsmithing tradition of the same name, originating in Japan, which focuses on crafting blades using hammer forging.

Features to Consider

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Blade Type

The Cold Steel Smatchet usually features a semi-rigid, slightly flexible blade. This design provides a balance between strength and versatility. Flexibility allows the blade to bend without breaking when applied with force, while the semi-rigidity maintains its structural integrity.

Construction Material

The Cold Steel Smatchet is typically made from high-quality, durable materials such as stainless steel or carbon steel. Both materials are rust-resistant, which is crucial for longevity and safety. Stainless steel offers better corrosion resistance, while carbon steel is known for its hardness and edge retention.

Handle Construction

The handle of a Cold Steel Smatchet should be ergonomic and comfortable to grip. Most models feature a handle made from a combination of natural materials like wood or bone and synthetic materials for a secure and comfortable grip. The handle should provide a good balance of weight distribution and ease of handling.

Purchasing Considerations

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Durability and Longevity

Invest in a Cold Steel Smatchet that is built with high-quality materials and construction techniques. This will ensure that your tool will last for years and perform reliably, even under demanding conditions.

Maintenance

Proper maintenance is essential to keep your Cold Steel Smatchet in top condition. Regularly clean and sharpen the blade, check for rust, and ensure the handle remains secure and comfortable to grip.

General Advice

Safety

Always handle the Cold Steel Smatchet with utmost care and respect. Mishandling can result in accidents or injuries. Practice proper techniques when using the tool, and keep it away from children and non-experienced users.
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Usage

The Cold Steel Smatchet can be used for various purposes such as cutting, chopping, or even self-defense. Familiarize yourself with the tool's capabilities and limitations before attempting any tasks.

Storage

Store your Cold Steel Smatchet in a safe, dry, and cool place when not in use. This will help prevent rust and maintain the tool's overall condition.
A Cold Steel Smatchet can be a valuable addition to your camping, hunting, or self-defense toolkit. By understanding its essential features, purchasing considerations, and general advice, you can ensure you make the right decision when selecting your Smatchet.

FAQ

What is a Cold Steel Smatchet?

A Cold Steel Smatchet is a type of weapons that originated in medieval Europe. It is characterized by a short blade and a stout shaft, making it highly effective in close combat situations. Cold Steel offers a modern take on these traditional weapons, with high-quality craftsmanship and materials.
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What materials are used to make Cold Steel Smatchets?

Cold Steel Smatchets are made from high-carbon steel, ensuring durability and sharpness. The handle can be made of several materials like wood, bone, or synthetic materials for better grip and comfort.

What are the different types of Cold Steel Smatchets?

  • Training Smatchet: Designed for practice and not meant for actual combat
  • Combat Smatchet: Designed for actual combat and self-defense purposes
  • Collector's Edition Smatchet: Decorative and made with high-quality materials for collectors

What are the dimensions of a typical Cold Steel Smatchet?

The dimensions of a Cold Steel Smatchet may vary depending on the specific model. However, most models come with a blade length of around 15 inches and an overall length of around 25 inches. It is recommended to check the product listing for the exact dimensions of the model you are interested in.

How much does a Cold Steel Smatchet cost?

The price of a Cold Steel Smatchet can vary depending on the type, material, and design. Training Smatchets usually start at around $40, while Combat Smatchets and Collector's Edition Smatchets can range from $100 to $200 or more.

What is the difference between a Cold Steel Smatchet and a Katana?

A Cold Steel Smatchet and a Katana are both types of swords, but they differ in terms of design and structure. A Smatchet is a short, stout blade with a long handle, making it well-suited for close combat. A Katana, on the other hand, is a longer, thinner blade with a more slender handle, designed for slashing rather than thrusting.

How do I maintain my Cold Steel Smatchet?

To maintain your Cold Steel Smatchet, make sure to clean it after use and store it in a dry, cool place. Regularly oil the blade and handle to prevent rust and keep the components in good condition. It is also recommended to sharpen the blade periodically using a sharpening stone.

Do Cold Steel Smatchets come with a warranty?

Yes, Cold Steel offers a limited lifetime warranty on the materials and craftsmanship of their Smatchets. However, this warranty does not cover accidental damage or normal wear and tear.

What is the return policy for Cold Steel Smatchets?

Cold Steel has a 30-day return policy for their Smatchets. The product must be in its original, unopened packaging, and the customer is responsible for return shipping costs.
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submitted by Count-Daring243 to u/Count-Daring243 [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:29 catespice Memoirs of a Long Pig

“We’re a meat family,” my dad would proudly tell strangers. He’d wait for the quizzical look, then launch into detail, starting with how many freezers we had, how long we could sustain ourselves on the contents. It was just his way of starting a conversation, which made sense when you considered that raising and home-killing animals for food was, for want of a better term, his life-long hobby. His prize possession was one of those industrial-sized vacuum sealers: you could put half a pig inside and wrap it in plastic so tightly that every wrinkle and skin fold waxed unreal with shiny detail.
If we hadn’t lived in a rural area, albeit semi-urbanised, I guess it would have been pretty weird. But the mostly farming-stock locals only found his extra enthusiasm a little bit odd.
When he wasn’t being a bit embarrassing talking about it, I never really paid much heed to his hobby. I had a child’s vaguely grateful awareness that though our family went through some lean financial times, our stomachs never suffered like some of the families around us. All the beef, pork, ham and bacon in those big old chest freezers passed down from his dad really could have fed us for years.
I should preface all this by saying that I wasn’t a particularly bright kid, though neither was I dumb. I didn’t fail badly at anything in school, I just never achieved beyond a pass. I didn’t know it yet back then, still quietly dreaming about being a ballet star or a dressage champion, but mediocrity was my destiny. And I think that’s why I got on so well with my Aunt Liz.
Liz was my dad’s live-in youngest sister. She was one of those women who get described as ‘bubbly’ — not really pretty, not really smart, not a lot going on besides just being… well, all Liz. But she was salt of the earth; kind, caring, and great with kids. She was the only person who would willingly mind my two older brothers, who fought like hellcats and caused more trouble than the whole last generation of my family combined. People would privately lament to my parents that it was a shame Liz didn’t have kids of her own, but dad would just shake his head and say Liz liked it that way – that all the fun of looking after kids is being able to give them back to their parents.
I guess she was like me; nice, but mediocre. Lovely, but somehow forgettable when she wasn’t doing something for you.
But when Liz left us, I couldn’t forget her.
In hindsight, it was pretty weird timing that we had a big fortieth birthday party for Liz right before she disappeared. She was radiant that night; she’d hired a local girl to do her hair and makeup, and it was honestly the first time I’d ever seen her look pretty. She’d even worn a push-up bra under a tight red dress, which flattered her very plump curves well enough that the neighbour’s farmhand was spotted disappearing into the woolshed with her for a snog. In my dawning awareness, that gave a plain girl hope: if Aunty Liz could get a guy at forty, maybe things would turn out okay for me.
Anyway, I couldn’t forget how her pink cheeks, her eyes, her whole self, glowed that night before Liz went to bed. She said it was the best birthday ever, and that she was very much looking forward to the next stage of her life.
Would I have done anything different, if I had known? If I had realised what, exactly, that next stage was?
The week after the party, Aunt Liz said she was going on a little holiday up north, to visit some old school friends. She packed her things – she didn’t honestly have that many – and drove her little orange mini out onto the main road. And with a wave of one fleshy hand, she was gone. Nobody really thought much of it when she didn’t call, because nobody rural had cellphones back then. And Liz was, as I said, somehow kinda forgettable when she wasn’t right in front of you.
When we hadn’t had contact for six weeks, Dad tracked down the land line numbers for their old school buddies. They were surprised to hear from him — Liz had never arrived, so they had just assumed she’d cancelled her visit. No-one had thought to check. I eavesdropped on the conversation, and it sounded for all the world like *they* had forgotten about Aunt Liz, too.
From there it became a missing person case. The local cops came and talked to all of us; the farmhand who’d been seen snogging her was briefly detained, then let go, dad got grilled at length, even my hellion brothers were questioned thoroughly to see if this was one of their wild and dangerous pranks gone wrong.
But everything was a dead end. Nobody knew where Liz was, or what had happened to her.
The remains of her old mini were found halfway across the country, burned out on a beach, on a derelict stretch of ragged, rocky coastline. The police assumed murder and combed the area for remains. But even the most expert divers couldn’t conquer the incredible undertow and fast-shifting seabed of that coastline to look for evidence, so none was forthcoming.
Eventually the cops collectively shrugged and said that there was really nothing more they could do unless more information suddenly came to light. The locals knew nothing, no witnesses had come forward, and the trail was cold. As far as anyone knew, poor aunt Liz had been murdered on some desolate beach, far away from her home.
It didn’t feel fair to me. She’d once mentioned wanting her remains buried on our farm, in the graveyard plot beside grandma and grandad.
So, in my grief, I went into her room to look for something of hers to bury beside them.
Like I said, Liz didn’t have many things. Her room was pretty spartan, and her wardrobe was mostly sensible farm stuff. There was one exception: she, like me, did like to read, and she had a pretty good collection of well-thumbed books. I think it’s the escapism – even the most mediocre girl can lose herself in the plot of some trashy romance novel, imagine there’s still hope of being swept off her feet by that handsome stableboy, his inexplicable yearning for chubby plain girls.
So I set myself the task of going through the books, to find the right one to bury in the graveyard plot.
Most of them were exactly what you’d expect, but some of them were racier than I was used to. I felt various parts of my body flushing and tingling, as I read breathless prose about calloused hands touching the softest flesh of the protagonist. Okay, if I’m honest with myself, I might have got a little *too* invested in my project at that point. But that was also why I persisted going through her entire collection, until I found the ragged paperback from 1970, entitled Tawny Sands. And inside that trashy cardboard romance cover, I discovered not the tale of Tawny Sands, but some carefully hand-cut, stitched-in pages. A handwritten story in my Aunt’s rounded penmanship: Memoirs of a Long Pig.
I read her story twice in a row, utterly gripped.
Aunt Liz was no Stephen King – heck, she wasn’t even the Goosebumps guy – but her story was gripping and compelling, and I couldn’t put it down. Even if I hadn’t known her, I think that would have been true.
The gist of it was that Liz, when she was sixteen, had discovered that our family had a very long history of eating what she described as ‘Long Pork’. It’s an antipodean term, anglicised from the Pacific Islands: human meat.
Like me, young Liz still had some hopes and dreams. In one of her many failed attempts to find a special talent, she’d taken up cooking as a hobby. Naturally, with our family’s overabundance of meat, she’d scoured the freezers in the shed for ingredients: the racks of ribs and stacks of pork chops, butcher-paper wrappings all neatly labelled with the first letter of the name of the animal they came from.
She found familiar meat from Rodney, one of the pigs that had been recently slaughtered, emblazoned with an ‘R’ in her father’s strong, blocky lettering. There were cutlets labelled ‘M’ for Mary, from one of the lambs she’d hand-reared, and ‘F’ for Ferdinand, the steer they’d killed the month before. But she couldn’t explain the many, many curious parcels of meat on one side of the huge freezer, all labelled ‘J’ – at least, not until she took it all out and assembled it as well as she could on the scoured concrete floor of the killing shed. A big, frozen jigsaw puzzle without the box, her best attempt to discover what kind of beast the pieces had come from.
The animal, she quickly realised, was a Long Pig. Her own Aunt Jenny, who had died the month before – just after her fortieth birthday.
Fortunately, or perhaps not, for Liz, her father entered the shed right at that moment and realised his daughter had discovered the family secret. He sat down calmly on the lid of the freezer, and explained to her that this was a long-running family tradition, dating back to at least before his grandfather had been born.
“There are always people in life, Liz,” he’d said, “who won’t really amount to much. They want to be useful, want to be more. They strive and they strive, trying job after job, hobby after hobby, trying to hit on something they’re really good at. Something that makes them special. Those people can waste their whole lives, chasing dreams that never come true. Eventually they die unfulfilled, knowing that all their time has been wasted. That what they leave behind will fade quickly.”
His voice was oddly gentle as he leaned down and patted one of the neatly wrapped cuts of Aunt Jenny, still sitting frozen on the shed floor.
“Your Aunt Jenny was one of those people. So was my Aunt Irene.” He paused to gaze at his daughter, his next words peppered with emphasis. “But you see, my sweet Liz, they did find a purpose in life. They did find a way to be special, and they left this world utterly certain of their gift.” He stood up, stretched his back. “Let me show you.”
Liz waited while my grandad meticulously stacked the meat back into the freezer, all but one J-marked parcel that looked for all the world like a thick venison steak. He took her back to the farmhouse, and reverently unwrapped the deep red, heavily marbled meat to let it thaw. Then he laid it in the family’s ancient, cast-iron pan, basting it with butter and rosemary until a heavenly scent filled the kitchen, and Aunt Liz couldn’t stop her mouth from watering.
“Just try it. Let her show you. You’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.”
Even though she knew it was her aunt, Liz couldn’t stop herself from taking that first bite. There was something transcendent about the smell, overriding her natural revulsion that this was human meat, not one of their farm animals. For the first time, she truly realised it: we’re just another kind of animal. And weren’t her memories of Mary the lamb almost as fond as her memories of Aunt Jenny?
Liz explained then, in her curly handwriting, the explosion of taste that had assaulted her when she tried the steak. It was tender, it was succulent, it was rich beyond imagining. The fats melted on her tongue, lingering somewhere between pork and beef, but oddly neither. The flavour of the meat defied identification; something familiar, yet not.
But one thing she couldn’t deny; it was the most delicious thing she had ever eaten. Tears dripped onto her plate, mingled with the juice, the grease — not grief, but a pure, real, giddy delight.
“You’re tasting your aunt’s love for this family,” my grandad explained. “Her entire life was carefully curated, to eventually make unforgettable moments for us, just like this. This was her way of being special. This was the greatest gift she could possibly bring to our world – and because she realised that, she died with not a single regret. She knew her life had purpose. She was perfectly, completely fulfilled.”
I felt those words. I felt them lodge in my own belly, settling uncomfortably deep. I knew Aunt Liz, probably better than anyone else in the family. I’d seen how fucking happy she’d been on her fortieth, how goddamn fulfilled she was, despite apparently being a *nobody* and achieving *nothing*. Somehow, in the space of a single day, she had gone from being a forgettable background character to becoming the *main character*, immortalising herself in our family’s history with her sacrifice. Quite literally becoming part of all of us, forever.
I went to the killing shed after I finished with the book. I looked inside the freezers.
But there were no vacuum-sealed packages labelled ‘L’, no matter how deep I dug into the frozen stacks of plastic-wrapped flesh. Panicked now, not sure if I wanted to connect all the dots or unconnect them, I tried to think back over the last few months, recall any meals that had been unusually good. A few Sundays ago, we’d had a stew that really hit the spot and left me craving more. And I realised that the family had a really good night that night; my brothers behaved themselves, my parents didn’t fight, and grandma and grandad had been there. Hadn’t they looked far more… expectant than they should have?
I strained my brain, trying to recall if I’d seen the homekill bag on the kitchen bench – if I’d registered what letter it was. I knew it wasn’t an L. I would have remembered if it was an L.
And then it hit me, the memory, the connection, sizzling as if branded with a hot iron.
It had been an ‘E’.
E for Elizabeth. Not for Edward the pig.
I snorted at my own stupidity – of *course* Liz was short for Elizabeth – and as I comprehended my lack of smarts, I felt something give inside me.
I wasn’t clever, and nothing, nothing would ever make me smart. I had no big talents. I wasn’t beautiful, or even cute – and even if I had a million plastic surgeries, it still wouldn’t fulfill me. It wouldn’t be real.
I was a Liz.
I was a Jenny.
I was whoever the first aunt had been, the aunt who had dedicated her life to making her flesh as delicious as possible, who had worked every damn minute to be the best Long Pig she could ever be.
I wondered how many magical family evenings had been spent eating Aunt Jenny. How many glorious, satisfying, memorable dishes had been made out of her.
And… I wanted that. I wanted to finally know I had a *purpose* in life. One so simple, and so easy to achieve.
I wanted what Aunt Liz had.
***
It's my fortieth birthday today and I’m so fucking excited. For the last twenty-four years, I’ve dedicated myself to this moment; I’ve eaten exactly what I needed to, I’ve exercised just enough, but not too much, to maintain that perfect balance of marbling vs tenderness. I’ve relaxed and meditated to keep all those amazing flavours inside of me. I’ve researched all the greatest meats in the world, from prime Angus beef to A5 Wagyu. I really think I may have outdone myself.
I’m having my hair and makeup done at the local salon this afternoon, and I’m going to look so pretty; all prize piggy on show at the fair. I’m even going to have a big red ribbon in my hair, in memory of Aunt Liz.
Maybe there’ll be a cute boy I can snog in the wool shed, maybe there won’t – I don’t really care; because the most important, most certain thing is that I’m going to be the most delicious Long Pig in the history of our entire family.
I’m going to make everyone so damn happy, and I’m just so glad I can share my story with you all, instead of hiding it in a grubby book like poor Aunt Liz.
My only real disappointment? That you won’t get to taste me.
Reader, I have loved, loved my life. My Long Pork will be out of this world: once tasted, never, ever forgotten.
submitted by catespice to ByfelsDisciple [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 11:10 Stylish_aesthetic My love letter to younger me / breakup letter to the Bahais :)

I'd like to share a lengthy and self-indulgent note about my history with the Baha'i community and the impact it had on my family and me. It's worth noting that I'm sharing this using a throwaway Reddit account that I generally reserve for browsing porn. I find funny to imagine a Baha'i apologist reading this, becoming angry and judgmental, and then, investigating my profile and ending up jerking off. With that said, let's dive into my story.
I want to share my experience in case it resonates with someone else, a lot of the stories on this Reddit helped me, and perhaps my story will give some comfort to someone else. It has taken me a while to write this down, and I'm glad I finally got around to doing it.
My parents emigrated from their homeland for reasons of principle and value. Upon their arrival, they were greeted by Baha'is who met them. And so, lovebombed and lavished with love, praise, and celebration for moving countries due to values that they portrayed as being closely aligned with the Baha'i faith, my parents fell for this validation and worked very hard once they became Baha'is in the mid-1980s.
My dad got rid of all of his whiskies, and swiftly, my parents began hosting potlucks and fireside chats, diligently working to integrate into the Baha'i ecosystem. Back then, the atmosphere was fairly light-hearted, with devotional gatherings, prayers, and a somewhat 1960s-esque hippie vibe. There was live guitar music, and joss sticks.
However, I remember Baha'i classes having an interesting edge. We were taught that Buddhists were not following a religion but merely a way of life, and that Hindus had become pantheistic because they had lost the core of their faith and religion, which had become corrupted over time. Thanks to Google, I can discover that yes indeed, this is from Lights of Guidance.
There was a significant emphasis on the importance of gender equality and the oneness of humanity – because, hey, the eighties. I feel sad there isn't anything anymore about the Virtues project - even if the Virtues project was sort of framed like it was created by Bahais.
Even in the 1980s, there was an overwhelming atmosphere that the key to being a good Baha'i was how you presented yourself rather than your actual behaviour. I recall learning an apocryphal tale of a young Baha'i who, while fasting, participated in an aerobics class and nearly fainted (yeah, aerobics, this is a real 80s fable), but was told by another Baha'i to prioritize representing the faith well over completing the fast because *it looked bad*. From a very early age, I learned the importance of putting the right face forward.
My parents then took their relationship with the Baha'i faith to the next level and volunteered at the World Centre in Haifa. As a child, this was a pretty interesting experience. I was suddenly immersed in the Iranian, or rather, Persian community, with its strong culture of martyrdom. Even as a child, every event seemed to feature graphic videos depicting young kids being taken from their homes. It was quite frightening, and I remember being afraid.
I also recall a strong sense of hierarchy within the community. My family lived in a small apartment with a very old, busted-up car from the 1970s, while others resided in nice homes with pleasant views and drove nice cars. I attended a local Israeli school, which was a cultural experience in itself, while my peers my age went to the much fancier American school. It's important to note that, at this point, the conversation about the "great catastrophe" – two-thirds of the world's population dying, leading to a period of peace and the entry by troops – was a prevalent topic openly discussed at the World Centre.
We completed our stint there, even living through the Gulf War. Upon returning to my birth country, my parents chose to live in places with smaller Baha'i communities, as they wanted to support and help establish Local Spiritual Assemblies. Things had changed by this point, not only because I was a teenager but also because the community itself had transformed. There was a significant Iranian presence everywhere, and the focus had shifted heavily towards rules, especially those related to sex, drinking, and drug use. There was also a huge emphasis on financial contributions to the faith, and it was the first time I began to see a somewhat materialistic outlook within the community.
As a preteen and teenager, I engaged in activities like dropping off flyers in mailboxes and soliciting strangers to talk about this great new religion, all in the name of “teaching”. I joined the local choir and sang, inspired by a crush I had on a girl there. This was probably the golden time of the community, with the choir doing outreach and a balance between Western and Iranian believers.
However, things began to accelerate. The Ruhi Institute and teaching became significant focal points. I was encouraged to bring a good friend of mine to a Baha'i camp, and once there, I was pressured to ask him to convert. It was very uncomfortable.
This Reddit loves cringe stories, so here is a winner: I had a birthday party with my non-Baha'i friends, and two older Baha'i girls attended. One of the girls ended up stalking my friend, showing up at his workplace and calling him at home with sexually suggestive comments. The matter was escalated to the Local Spiritual Assembly, but instead of talking to me about it, they basically ended my friendship with this kid. To me, this somehow captures so much of what it was like to be a Baha'i child and how Baha'i adults treat children to this day.
When I turned 15, I signed up for Baha'i membership because it was the expected thing to do. However, by the time I was in my early 20s and studying at university, I had started to interact more with the local, real-world community. This might seem like a small thing, but it was actually quite significant. You see, my parents had always felt a little bit on the outside compared to the average person on the street around them. This sense of elitism was really exacerbated by being a Baha'i because Baha'is would walk around in a cloud of self-assurance, slapping each other on the back and saying , "We don't do drugs. We've got all the answers and solutions, not like you." That was pretty much the attitude. It felt very socio-economic, with a lot of judgment towards working-class people. When the Iranians arrived, the cultural judgments grew even stronger.
But I was working in restaurants and learning about booze from bartenders. I had gotten to know real people. I had lost my virginity, and all that Bahai jazz seemed so much less relevant. I hardly even noticed when the year 2000 arrived without the predicted apocalypse, entry by troops, or any of the other anticipated events. Life went on. I lived in another country and met a girl, and we lived together.
Here is cringe story #2: my girlfriend /fiancé and I hosted a Bahai couple from my hometown. Despite being in my late 20s and engaged, and even though I hosted this gentleman in my house and helped him with his preparations for his business and presentations in the country where I lived, he reported to the Local Spiritual Assembly that I was living with a woman and we weren't married. It was absolutely amazing. The level of judgment still grosses me out.
I started to reflect on what the religion had meant to me and saw how it had changed. The obsession with fundraising was becoming ever more strident and panicked. The gaps in the actual scriptural logic of the religion were becoming more exacerbated as real-world problems still ran rife, and real-time discussions on social media brought these issues to light. It took me a while to start really digging into it, and it was only much later, when I started therapy, that I realized I needed to formally resign from the religion.
Looking back, it's astonishing how this religion, which professes to have such blind equality between the genders, as if other religions have some kind of hardwired sexism, actually had hardwired sexism in how the Universal House of Justice operates. A religion that taught the oneness of humanity, as if all humanity is equal and other religions don't recruit from anyone they can find, places divisors. Although of course, Bahai’s can’t recruit from Israeli Jews, so much for oneness of humanity. But this religion has taught that all humanity is equal, unless, of course, you're gay. Then you can't get married, let alone have sex.
There are other principles I haven't touched on, such as non-involvement in politics, unless it involves things happening to Baha'is or politics in Iran. The principle of independent investigation of the truth doesn't seem to work if you might investigate something that's not in line with the Baha'i perspective. The idea of a universal language? I don't really see any evidence that they're even really thinking about that one. The unity between science and religion? A religion that only allows men to sit on its senior board of a global theocracy probably isn't going to jive with a contemporary scientific perspective…. I mean, apparently you don't need a penis to be a man anymore, right?
In between these moments are my colorful memories of random things, like endless discussions about the boundaries of physical intimacy, people getting married at the age of 16 because they had exemptions for being Persian, and meeting Ms. Khanoom in Israel, feeling some sadness that the lone woman who at least brought some feminine energy to the World Centre is now gone, replaced by 12 boring men.
I've had conversations with my wife where I tried to explain what Baha'is actually do. She just wonders why they aren't doing stuff like normal religions do, like reading to the elderly or supporting schools for the disabled. I explain that's not the target demographic. I remember a wealthy man brought to firesides who obviously nobody else wanted to listen to, but we all sat around and applauded him like he was a great ukulele player and a clever man. He pointed out a hilariously Iranian man who was an alternative healer, and they got into a debate about modern medicine. The wealthy man said, "Well, you should see my daughter and what she studied. She studies Law." And then quickly changed the subject when asked about her name since I studied at the same Law school. Here's this man who's self-aware enough to join the adoration of his crowd but doesn't want his daughter mixed up in it in any way. Absolutely hilarious. Make that cringe story #3.
This reflection was sort of sparked when my wife and I discovered that the writings attributed to Rumi, which Baha'is often quote, is the same guy who started the Whirling Dervishes. We read about Rumi and I realized just how different he is from Baha'u'llah. Rumi wrote poetry, but he didn't pretend to be a prophet of God. He was just offering a different dynamic for how to interpret spirituality. He didn't say he was part of some sort of cycle. There's something beautiful about that simplicity. And needless to say, Rumi lived long before the Baha'is ever started.
It makes me wonder, will anyone ever watch the equivalent of a whirling dervish dance for the Baha'is?
The obsession with appearances sounds like a joke, but it isn't. It wasn't for me. Some bad stuff happened to me on my trip to Israel. When we got there, my parents didn't understand why I was so upset about everything. It was a culture shock, attending a local school, not speaking Hebrew, being lumped together with Russian kids who also didn't speak Hebrew, and getting beaten up in the toilet. It wasn't a very good time for me.
So, I was sent to counsel with a local Israeli counselor. After several sessions, she instructed that I had to sit down with my parents and tell them what I needed to tell them, particularly about the shadow that had come over me since coming to Israel. My parents were enraged when I said, “I wish we never became Bahai”.
And so, we returned from the Holy Land and moved to a tiny community that was struggling to get members. To this day, my parents are still members. I've resigned so I'm never dubbed a "covenant breaker." I'm pretty sure my parents know that I resigned because they literally never raise the topic of the Baha'i faith with me. I wish the religion had some interesting cosmology, something mystical, some interesting new take on the universe, or provided my family with tools to handle being migrants or raising teenagers. At the very least, it could have given us a common language we could have used to bond together. It did none of that.
But to be fair, if it wasn't the Baha'is, some other rinky-dink cult would have love-bombed my parents back in the 1980s. Of course, it would have been so much more fun if it had featured more sex and drugs 😊
submitted by Stylish_aesthetic to exbahai [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 08:44 polyphonic_peanut Standing Up For Myself In Therapy is The Therapy I Need

Something that's come to the surface many times on my journey of self-awareness, is my pattern of self-subjugation and self-sacrifice in relationships.
I know where this comes from.
I learnt to subjugate out of fear of retaliation, rejection, dismissal, all the volatile or threatening behaviour of my parents in early years, and then bullying from peers at school.
Out of familiarity, I see I unconsciously chose a long-term partner who activates this need for self-subjugating, him also often coming across as domineering, dismissive, or volatile in his responses to my assertions of my needs, wants, feelings and preferences - not all the time, but frequently enough.
I also learnt early on in childhood to sacrifice my needs, wishes, and feelings for others. I was a parentified child, like many people here. I took on the role of emotional caretaker in my childhood home. I was the diplomat between my arguing parents, and the surrogate partner to my Mum. I learnt to feel guilty when I put my own needs first. I learnt to worry about the impact of asserting my feelings and opinions; to assume that's me speaking out would lead other people to great suffering on my account.
A third related thing I learnt in childhood was that I was "less than" or defective in some way for having differing opinions or feelings or preferences from my parents. My needs were not only invalid, they were incorrect. They were wrong and I was wrong for having them. I was gaslit to shit, which led to a confusion and self-dismissal about what I actually felt. My thoughts and feelings, as i learned, were dangerous to others.
The underlying unmet need in all these patterns is freedom of expression. It's something I've really struggled with in my relationships.
...
How does this relate to narcissism? Well, briefly, I can see how feeling unsafe or guilty to express myself in the open, led me to create and internal fantasy life where I could express myself freely, one in which my needs and preferences were over-exaggerated. Not getting validation or approval or healthy attention on the outside, I learned to give it to myself, through my imagination and self-admiration.
...
These patterns of self-subjugation and sacrifice are very much ingrained, and causing me to live quite miserably sometimes. I have learnt to not speak up with my opinions. Time and again, I have negated my preferences, my own space, my privacy, my values, my feelings in many relationships - at work, with my partner, with friends ...
I also see it with my therapist.
Now, in what seems like a twist of fate, I'm really not getting along with my therapist. In fact, I disagree with her stance, I don't like her approach to my therapy, and there have been many times - I would say in each session - where she has said things that have led me to feel very alone, confused, emotionally abandoned with no space. I also feel that the sessions are unstructured, and having had a few months of therapy, I feel rather lost and unsupported.
Now, also, you could argue that these are my feelings, and that I have somehow gotten the wrong end of the stick. Maybe, you might think, the therapist has deliberately created this environment so that I have to confront it. Well, that would be mightily clever of her, but also rather nasty.
I need to say that I think I'm right here. While I don't want to say that my therapist is "bad", I don't think our working relationship is going very well, and I do frequently feel unnurtured, unsupported, alienated, confused, and even distressed in our sessions, by the actions of the therapist. When I have spoken up with my own wishes, needs, ideas etc, I don't feel like they are welcomed.
So this is the twist of fate that has been handed to me through therapy. It is chance to be my own advocate, stand up, and say, calmly, that I don't think this is working, that certain core needs are not being met through therapy, that I don't feel safe in the relationship.
It is a chance to overcome my own pattern of self-subjugation and self-sacrifice. Not that the therapist is scary, or volatile, or dismissive. It's just that I don't feel seen or cared for in the way that I need.
Speaking to her about this is an opportunity to bypass my habits of self-suppression, putting other people's needs above my own, and to not only assert my feelings about things not working. It is a chance to stand by them, stick up for them, stand my ground, show my feelings, be an advocate for them, for myself, tolerate that it might not land very well, know that it's not my fault; that I'm not doing anything bad, and it's not my responsibility to lead the therapy, or take care of the therapist.
So that's what I'm gonna do in my next session next week. I'm going to assert my feelings and needs. I'm going to step out of fantasy land, out of the mirror, and into Reality. I'm going to share my reality with the therapist: that bluntly, there have been quite a few times when I don't like the way she treats me in session, and that I don't feel nurtured or nourished in this relationship.
And this ... is the very therapy I need.
If it changes, and things go well, or the therapist was in fact working me to this point, i'll say hands up: I was wrong. If it all falls apart and I have to find someone else, I can do that, too.
submitted by polyphonic_peanut to NPD [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 08:20 Count-Daring243 Best Coghlan's Folding Saw

Best Coghlan's Folding Saw
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If you're in the market for a reliable folding saw that won't break the bank, look no further than Coghlan's Folding Saw. This compact and versatile tool is perfect for outdoor enthusiasts, DIYers, and anyone who needs a dependable saw on the go. In this article, we'll take a closer look at the features, benefits, and user experiences of Coghlan's Folding Saw, helping you make an informed decision for your next purchase.

The Top 7 Best Coghlan's Folding Saw

  1. Folding Compact Camping Saw for Efficient Trail Clearing - The Coghlan's Folding Saw is a compact and versatile saw designed for clearing vegetation in campsites and trails, featuring a strong metal blade with sharp teeth, a folding design, an anti-slip handle, and a locking mechanism for convenient use.
  2. Compact, Multi-Purpose Coghlans Pocket Saw - Stay prepared for any job with the Coghlan's Folding Saw, a safe, compact saw that effortlessly cuts through wood, metal, plastic or bone with easy, back and forth action.
  3. Sturdy, Versatile Folding Saw for Multiple Outdoor Adventures - Experience unmatched performance and durability with the Coghlan's Folding Saw, a versatile and lightweight outdoor essential made from high-quality materials in the USA.
  4. Versatile XT Toothing Folding Saw for Hunters and Campers - Bahco 396-LAP Laplander Folding Saw - A versatile, rust-resistant saw for woodworking, hunting, and camping with XT toothing and comfortable grip features.
  5. Coghlan's Compact Pocket Chainsaw with Safety Features - Unleash maximum cutting power with the versatile and portable Coghlan's Pocket Chainsaw - the essential tool for outdoor enthusiasts and survivalists.
  6. Coghlan's Folding Saw: Durable and Versatile Camping Essential - The Coghlan's Folding Saw is a versatile, lightweight, and safe choice for camping and hunting expeditions, featuring a rugged anodized aluminum frame, the ability to hold extra blades, and easy hanging options.
  7. Kakugen 1065 IBARAME Folding Saw for Outdoor Adventures - The Kakugen 1065 IBARAME Folding Saw delivers a durable, 7-inch satin finish stainless blade for efficient cutting performance, secured by a reliable blade lock in a convenient and portable wood handle design.
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Reviews

🔗Folding Compact Camping Saw for Efficient Trail Clearing

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I recently took a weekend camping trip and needed a reliable tool to clear some fallen branches and debris around my campsite. I was drawn to this Compact Folding Camping Saw by Coghlan's and it turned out to be just the thing.
The metal blade of this saw is quite sharp and strong, making quick work of clearing the vegetation. I loved the folding design, which not only saves space in my car or backpack but also ensures that the blade is always protected. The anti-slip handle is a nice touch too, providing a comfortable grip while I worked.
However, there was one issue that I encountered - the saw is a bit difficult to lock open, which made it a little inconvenient at times. Additionally, it seemed to be a bit wobbly when I was sawing through the thicker branches.
Overall, I'm pleased with the Compact Folding Camping Saw from Coghlan's. It's functional and portable, which are two important qualities for a camping trip. If the manufacturers can address the locking mechanism and the stability, this could be an even better product.

🔗Compact, Multi-Purpose Coghlans Pocket Saw

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I recently found myself in need of a compact and safe saw to use during my outdoor adventures. After doing some research, I decided to give the Coghlans Pocket Saw a try. This little saw proved to be quite handy, and it easily fit in my backpack or tackle box for easy transportation.
The first thing I noticed about this saw was its length of 20" (51 cm) - not too long, not too short, just right for cutting through various materials like wood, metal, plastic, or even bone. I appreciated the easy back and forth action, which allowed for quick and clean cuts. Plus, the fact that it had no sharp edges made handling it much safer.
However, there were a few downsides to this saw. For one, it was quite small, which made it difficult to use when cutting through thicker materials. Additionally, the rings used to hold the saw were made of a less durable material, and I found that they sometimes slipped during use, making it harder to maintain a steady grip on the saw.
Overall, the Coghlans Pocket Saw would make a great addition to any outdoor enthusiast's toolkit, especially for tasks that require a quick and safe way to cut through various materials. Just remember that its size makes it better suited for smaller tasks, and its durability may be lacking compared to other saws on the market.

🔗Sturdy, Versatile Folding Saw for Multiple Outdoor Adventures

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I recently had the opportunity to try out the Coghlan's Folding Saw, and I must say, it didn't disappoint. This compact saw is perfect for those who love spending time in the great outdoors, whether it's camping, canoeing, hiking, or even hunting. Its sturdy design and high-quality craftsmanship really show in its performance, as it cuts through logs with ease, leaving a clean and smooth edge.
One of the things that really stands out about this saw is its versatility. It folds down to a compact size, making it easy to store in a backpack or luggage when not in use. However, when you need it, it unfolds quickly and securely to provide the perfect amount of leverage for cutting through logs and branches. The strong Swedish steel saw blade is another highlight, as it is both durable and effective in its cutting abilities.
Despite its numerous pros, the Coghlan's Folding Saw does have a few minor cons. The first is the proprietary blade design, which uses a roll-pin and a bolt to attach the blade to the handle. This can be a bit of an issue if you lose the bolt or the roll-pin, as it can be difficult to find a replacement. Another con is the blade's tendency to flex inside the handle track, which can make it challenging to remove the blade when the saw is folded up.
Overall, my experience with the Coghlan's Folding Saw has been overwhelmingly positive. Its high-quality materials, impressive performance, and versatility make it a fantastic choice for anyone looking for a reliable and effective saw for their outdoor adventures. While there are a couple of minor drawbacks, these do not detract from the saw's overall excellence.

🔗Versatile XT Toothing Folding Saw for Hunters and Campers

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As a seasoned camper, I was intrigued to try out the Bahco Laplander Folding Saw. This particular folding saw caught my attention with its XT toothing, 7 TPI blade, which is specially coated for rust protection and low friction. I've been on countless camping trips, and having a versatile saw that can make quick work of cutting branches, wooden poles, and even firewood is a godsend.
I've had the opportunity to use the Laplander for a few weeks now, and I must say it's been a game-changer. The handle, made from a two-component plastic material, felt secure and comfortable in my hand, especially with the added grip from the leather strap. The safety lock feature provided peace of mind while handling the saw, both when locking and unlocking it. But it wasn't just the safety lock that drew me in - the fact that it was compact enough to fit in my backpack was an added bonus.
One aspect I wasn't particularly thrilled about was the overall heaviness of the saw when compared to some of my previous folding saws. However, I believe the trade-off was worth it, as I appreciated the durability and reliability the Laplander delivered. Now, every time I venture into the great outdoors, I make sure I've got the Bahco Laplander Folding Saw by my side.
Without a doubt, this Bahco product is a worthy addition to anyone's camping or outdoor toolkit – and it's proven its worth with my own personal experience.

🔗Coghlan's Compact Pocket Chainsaw with Safety Features

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Imagine your hands clutching onto a handheld saw that's been a game-changer for those of us who love nothing more than throwing on our gear and hitting the great outdoors. Coghlan's Pocket Chainsaw, a clever contraption that blends convenience with raw cutting power, has been my constant companion on my adventurous escapades - may it be in the backwoods of Canada or the untamed jungles of Sri Lanka, this little beast has proven to be an indispensable buddy.
Firstly, the 20-inch stainless steel chain-link blade it houses is what sets this saw apart - it's nimble yet robust, a paradox that's surprisingly effective. This blade, equipped with a whopping 26 teeth, glides through logs, branches, and pretty much anything in its path without breaking a sweat. Its versatility doesn't stop there; you can cut in both directions, which makes for a surprisingly efficient and smooth cutting experience.
But it's the safety features that have truly captured my heart. It's not every day you come across a chainsaw of this size that comes with wrist straps, making it my hands' best friend in terms of safety. The carry pouch it comes with is also a boon, making storage and portability a breeze even when I'm on the move.
So, in my book, the Pocket Chainsaw earns a hearty high five for its lightweight portability, mighty cutting ability, and commendable safety features. Its spot in my backpack, undoubtedly, is a hard-earned one. This pocket-sized beast has proven that cutting power and convenience are not mutually exclusive.

🔗Coghlan's Folding Saw: Durable and Versatile Camping Essential

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One weekend, I decided to give the Coghlan's Folding Saw a try during my usual camping trip. I was immediately impressed by its rugged construction, made from an anodized aluminum frame that not only kept me safe but also added to the overall durability of the saw. I could easily store extra blades in it, perfect for longer adventures where I might need to cut wood or meat for a meal.
It weighs just 16 oz, making it a great addition to my camping gear without adding too much weight to my pack. The saw itself measures 21 inches, making it versatile for various purposes and perfect for cutting through wood or meat. The ring included enables easy hanging or attaching to other equipment during transport.
Although it's easy to use and very efficient, it can be a bit difficult to find the right hole placement for the blades to ensure they work. But overall, I'm really happy with my purchase and would definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a reliable and sturdy folding saw for camping or other outdoor activities.

🔗Kakugen 1065 IBARAME Folding Saw for Outdoor Adventures

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I recently had the chance to try out the Kakugen 1065 Ibarame, a folding saw that's perfect for cutting branches in the backyard. I was initially drawn to its reasonable price, but was pleasantly surprised by how well-made and efficient it was.
The blade features a satin finish and is made from stainless steel, which ensures a smooth, easy-to-use experience. The knife-like shape is also surprisingly comfortable to grip, and the locking mechanism is a nice addition for safety.
However, there was one small issue I encountered. When attempting to store the saw, the locking mechanism was difficult to engage. It would have been nice if there was a cover to protect the blade when not in use. Overall, the Kakugen 1065 Ibarame exceeded my expectations despite this minor inconvenience.
If you're looking for a budget-friendly, user-friendly folding saw, this one definitely fits the bill. It's perfect for cutting branches and brush, and I highly recommend it for those who need a reliable tool for their gardening or outdoor projects.

Buyer's Guide

Coghlan's Folding Saw is a versatile and portable tool designed for various applications. If you're considering purchasing a folding saw, this guide will help you understand the significant features, considerations, and general advice to make the best choice for your needs.

Key Features to Consider

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  • Blade Length and Type: Opt for a suitable blade length depending on your intended use. Narrower blades are more precise for detailed work, while wider blades can handle heavier-duty tasks.
  • Folding Mechanism: Find a model with an easy-to-use and sturdy folding mechanism. A well-designed one will ensure a secure and convenient storage.
  • Handle Material and Comfort: Choose a handle made from durable and comfortable material. Ergonomic designs provide better grip and reduce user fatigue.
  • Portability: Consider the overall size and weight of the saw. A lightweight and compact folding saw is a good choice for outdoor trips or traveling.
  • Additional Features: Some models come with sheaths, belt loops, or quick-release locks, which can be useful additions depending on your needs.

Considerations Before Purchasing

Before deciding which Coghlan's Folding Saw meets your requirements, consider the application for which you'll be using it, your budget, and the overall performance required. If you'll primarily be working in a wooded area or need an extra cutting tool, a folding saw could be a useful addition to your toolkit.

General Advice for Safe and Efficient Use

  • Safety First: Always ensure you're wearing protective gear like gloves and eye protection when using a folding saw. Keep the saw's blade away from your skin and wear long sleeves to avoid accidents.
  • Maintain the Blade: Regularly sharpen and oil the saw's blade for optimal performance. A dull or rusted blade can impede cutting efficiency and damage the surrounding material.
  • Secure Your Workpiece: Before cutting, make sure the material is securely fastened to avoid any accidents or damage. You can use clamps or other safety devices to secure your workpiece.
  • Follow the Manufacturer's Instructions: Always read and adhere to the manufacturer's guidelines provided with the folding saw for safe and efficient use.
With this buyer's guide in mind, you'll be better equipped to choose the right Coghlan's Folding Saw to fit your needs and make the most of your investment.
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FAQ

What is Coghlan's Folding Saw?

Coghlan's Folding Saw is a portable and compact saw designed for various outdoor activities such as camping, hiking, and fishing. The folding mechanism allows it to be easily carried and stored.

What is the blade made of?

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The blade is made of high-quality stainless steel, providing durability and resistance to corrosion.

What is the size of the folded saw?

The folded dimensions of Coghlan's Folding Saw are 9.7 inches long, 1.2 inches wide, and 0.1 inches thick. This compact size makes it easy to carry and store in backpacks or other gear.

What is the recommended use of Coghlan's Folding Saw?

Coghlan's Folding Saw is suitable for cutting small branches, kindling, firewood, and other tasks requiring a portable saw during camping, hiking, and other outdoor adventures.
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How does the saw lock into place when opened?

Coghlan's Folding Saw features a simple yet effective locking mechanism. When the saw is opened, a locking tab on the handle is engaged, holding the saw in place and preventing it from folding back. This ensures the user's safety while using the saw.

Is the saw easy to use?

Yes, Coghlan's Folding Saw is designed to be user-friendly. It features a comfortable grip, a razor-sharp blade, and a lightweight construction, making it easy to use for cutting various materials.

How do I take care of my Coghlan's Folding Saw?

To maintain the quality and performance of your Coghlan's Folding Saw, clean it after each use, and store it in a dry place to prevent rusting. Regularly sharpen the blade using a sharpening stone or file to ensure optimal cutting performance.

Is Coghlan's Folding Saw suitable for heavy-duty cutting tasks?

Coghlan's Folding Saw is not designed for heavy-duty cutting tasks. It is intended for small to medium-sized cutting jobs during camping, hiking, or fishing. For more demanding tasks, consider investing in a larger, more robust saw.

Where can I purchase Coghlan's Folding Saw?

Coghlan's Folding Saw can be found at various outdoor and camping supply stores, as well as online retailers. Check the availability at your preferred retailer or visit Coghlan's website directly to find a list of authorized dealers.
As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.
submitted by Count-Daring243 to u/Count-Daring243 [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 08:19 Sin-God A New Chain; Snapshots

The familiar sounds of the office fill the ears of the "Adventurer" as he steps into his home away from home. To him "Familiar sounds" means the voices of about three-quarters of the hundreds of employees who work in this building, thanks to the progressive, passive, perpetual boosts to his senses that he has simply always been accruing. He still can't quite hear everything in the office, indeed as powerful as his senses are he can only actively sense enough space around him to be firmly aware of events occurring about half of the building's length and width away from him at a time, but those are still incredibly powerful senses.
Lucas steps past several cubicles and heads to his own with a calm smile on his face. He actually enjoys his job, not because he finds the work fulfilling but because it presents him with a chance to level up his skills and work towards becoming altogether stronger in a hilariously safe environment. The figure sits in his cubicle and logs into his work computer with a bright grin on his face. As he grabs the last pieces of paper in the backlog that was a big problem when he began to work for this company he feels a pang of pride.
The workday is pleasant enough. He successfully finishes the last pile of paperwork that was considered part of the backlog and this effort is celebrated by his direct supervisor and a few of the friends he's made in his department, a group composed of several men and only a few pair of women, who have been working here for years but lacked the abilities he possesses that allow him to grind out progress at a rapid rate and allow him to improve the work he does every single day without fail. The news quickly spreads throughout the office, and various people, including other departmental supervisors and managers, come to him and congratulate him.
When the day ends Lucas is one of the first people out the door. This is commonly expected Lucas-like behavior at this point so no one bats an eye at it. The figure works and then leaves, and he seems to have an incredibly strict policy about work-life balance to the point that no one from the office has seen his apartment or even seen him outside of the office aside from on social media.
The lad walks towards a nearby mall even as he checks his phone. When the decently cautious man is sure he's not being watched he uses his inventory to swap outfits, changing into something much more casual than his work uniform so he can do his equivalent of trolling. His clothes go from being the professional outfit someone might expect to see an accountant in, to the much more casual clothes of someone who works at a Game Station the local equivalent of a Game Stop.
The minute the figure reaches the mall he relaxes and steps into it with a smile on his face as he is suddenly and powerfully aware of events going on all around him now that the sounds he's been passively hearing for the last few minutes are not muffled by layers of solid American construction. The mall is a favorite haunt of his, a place where there are enough people that even if something goes awry he can pretty easily escape in the chaos and commotion that any sort of hostile actions would necessarily cause. Still, to the figure's credit he has not been caught yet.
The thief begins his training by carefully studying the department store he's in. He can be a bit bolder now than he could weeks ago, as in the time since he began to hone this skill he's enhanced it in such a way that he can teleport objects directly into his inventory, which is a tremendous improvement even if he can't take anything bigger or heavier than a cleaver. He eventually spots a teenager with a wallet that is just visible out of the corner of his pockets. Lucas diligently uses "Observe" on him and the powerful skill is strong enough now that Lucas can use it to determine someone's affiliations. When the young adult spots that the teen belongs to a gang he decides it's worth taking his potentially ill-gotten gains.
The clever trickster points a single finger in the direction of the teen's pocket and silently casts the handy spell. A thin line of energy lances out of his extended digit and sails through the air toward the teenager. When the teen begins to move Lucas hisses in annoyance and expends a bit more magical energy to take advantage of the first skill he's gained as a result of an attribute hitting 50: arcane manipulation.
Days ago the young adventurer's passion for magic and healing resulted in two classes leveling up on the same day: mage and white mage. This resulted in his intelligence going from 49 to 52, and as a result of that he gained the ability to manipulate magical energy, so long as he can detect the magic in question and is willing to spend some magic of his own. In this world, where the figure is reasonably certain that no other magical beings exist, this means that to hone this skill the wizard needs to manipulate his own magic. Still, that hasn't stopped the young professional from tirelessly doing just that.
With a significant amount of focus the mage is able to manipulate the thin beam and twists and turns it so that it circles around the teen before snaking into his pocket and striking the young gangster's wallet. When Lucas feels the wallet enter his inventory he chuckles and makes his way out of the department store. The rest of this particular bout of training is filled with similar feats of arcane finesse and hilariously minor acts that will steal from those willing to enact violence on others in exchange for money. Lucas's clever usage of his skills coupled with his willingness to act in stunningly petty and annoying ways make him great at harassing those he designates his foes. Lucas, lacking an ability to kill those he fights thanks to a drawback affecting him, has thus far refused to actually engage those he has marked as his foes in direct battle but his desire to annoy them has led to willingly target people associated with criminal groups with some of his spatial magic.
In hours the figure is back home and he is toying with the newest toy he's received from his gacha system. A guitar sits on his lap and he fiddles with the instrument, even he listens to a video about how to tune the thing. Lucas is experimenting with something, and behind the tablet he gained some time ago is a book that contains information on tuning guitars. The tablet is in use, recording what the man is up to. An app is in use and it records the sounds the guitar chords make. The self-taught musician relies on some of his new skills for this, as he has only recently gained the "Guitar" and "Guitar Maintenance" skills, and he got them at different times so they are different levels. Nonetheless, the figure patiently records himself, occasionally stopping the recording and examining it. He is diligently using his long-term planning skills and sticking to his broad plan. At the same time the figure patiently uses magic and steadily hones the "Mage" class, using his magic skills to farm multiple sources of experience while adhering to the schedule he has informally given himself.
Eventually the next day rolls around and the figure, predictably, gets out of his apartment and goes to work. If you had explained the concept of "Jumping" to Lucas a year ago and asked him if he thought so much of it would be just working a 9-5 job he'd not have believed you and yet in the context of his experience with the unusual profession a stunning amount of time has just been him being a regular employee of a perfectly mundane business.
Time continues to pass for the would-be adventurer at a steady pace. In this mundane world a figure with legitimate supernatural abilities is a uniquely powerful presence, and this is especially true of one that is determined to keep his head down and nose clean. Lucas's determination to live a regular, relatively risk-free life does not stop him from living, but it does stop him from suffering from some sort of "Middle School Second Year Syndrome" as a result of the fact that he has gained trainable superpowers. Instead of going mad with power or gaining an unhealthy mentality Lucas has just enough knowledge of how jumping works to know that while he might be a big fish in this world he is not a big fish in other worlds like Fallout, The Elder Scrolls, or even something as aggressively hostile and oppressive as the general setting of Minecraft is.
If an objective, impartial onlooker viewing Lucas's life is given the chance to describe the sort of "Television Show" that they are watching, they'd say it could easily be considered slice-of-life. For the first few months of his time here the most exciting times are the rare moments he adds something new to his slowly expanding list of activities and the even more slowly growing list of things he can do, such as when he begins to walk the streets of the city he lives in at night and cast healing, positive, restorative magic on the sleeping homeless people he encounters. This activity ultimately earns him the peculiar title of "Unsung Saint", a title which enhances the effectiveness of his restorative or otherwise beneficial magic on those not aware of the fact that he is using magic on them.
Days of work, training, and controlled, planned forays into new pastimes, turn into weeks of steady and anticipated progress. Weeks of steady and anticipated progress turn into months of upward mobility and the healthy establishments of new baseline feats. That said, eventually progress slows and becomes more difficult for the jumper in a world as relatively safe, for supernatural beings, as this one. It doesn't take terribly long for Lucas to go from a somewhat predictable, fairly focused figure who is very specialized in a number of areas, to a somewhat more well-rounded figure with a steadily increasing repository of skills and abilities, thanks to a subtle shift in growth strategies.
​Just a few days short of eleven months into his stay in this jump, the jumper is facing a new foe but is participating in an activity he's come to enjoy; sparring.
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I dodge a well-aimed right-handed punch intended for my face, though thanks to my agility I easily had enough time to dodge it, It took a long time, from my viewpoint, for it to get close to me so long enough that I only let it get this close on purpose. I'm holding back in terms of my speed and strength but my opponent, a friend I made at the gym a few weeks ago, doesn't need to know that. I have way too many supernatural advantages for it to be a fair fight if I don't hold back.
I give my opponent enough time to register that I've dodged the blow before I begin to telegraph, purposefully, my next attack. I purposefully overextend my left arm and launch a powerful, but slow, strike. The man grits his teeth and moves to intercept my strike. He is fast enough to position his arm in front of it but that is still a mistake. I guide my blow into his arm and watch as he lets out a sincere, pained, grunt. Even with me holding back I still allow DPS to work its magic, and that perk coupled with both my trained and perk-enhanced strength is enough for me to deal him a decently powerful blow.
I retract my fist with a sly smile and note that the bars that cover my field of view are all going up at different rates. The bar for "Brawler", a class that's the result of "Fighter" giving me access to a new class when it hit level 10, my currently equipped class, is going up at a healthy clip as I spar with this man, as is the bar for "Precision Strikes" and "Acting", some of my skills. Most of the things going up at a decent clip are affected by "Jack of All Trades" a perk thatreduces the time and effort it takes for me to train up new skills to around the level of my average. Most of my other bars are only slightly going up, but this is acceptable. This sort of training is vital, long term, for my very survival, and thanks to my perks is pretty easy for me to do.
Behind me I hear a familiar voice cheering; Hannah's. The lovely redhead has begun to accompany me to the gym, but this is a somewhat recent development. Before a few weeks ago we only occasionally saw each other on Saturdays at the cafe she worked at, though we have been texting buddies ever since we met. Marcus, my sparring partner, grins savagely at me as he listens to my friend and gym buddy's cheers.
"I can't let you show me up in front of your girl, Lucas. We're not close like that." Marcus tells me, though the words are insincere. Marcus is a friend of mine, one who has even tasted my food, and that's something I don't let others do as much as I once did, barring people who go to the soup kitchen when I'm one of the volunteers on duty. My cooking can now do some decent stuff so I don't want to get anyone who isn't an ally or someone I need in my pocket overly reliant on my skills. I grin at the muscular bruiser of a warrior and dart back before gesturing for him to come at me like he means it. The man lets out a hearty laugh as he begins to pursue me. He is a touch taller than me and he has muscular, wide arms that take up a lot of space.
I watch, diligently, as he swings them at me when he is in the martial sweet spot of being close enough to hit me with a fully extended fist and being far enough away for me to strike back in an effort to preempt or counter his blow. I dart forward even as he stops advancing and duck underneath the strike before I use an active skill from my "Dancer" class to infuse my agility into my strength and hit him with a blow that disorients him. He steps back, a look of pain and confusion on his face as I step forward and move close enough to hit the man with a much softer blow to the chest. I feel his solid muscles block part of the harm done to him, but the blow is still solid enough that I watch his HP lower.
He gasps in pain and staggers back, and I smile at him and sense my triumph. He's only lost a small portion of his total hit points, but for normal people, one's total stock of HP is an abstraction of their physical health. For me, my HP serves as a skillful shield that protects me at all times, and for me to fall in battle someone has to whittle away my entire bar before they take me out. In fact, right now my HP is not maxed out; earlier I took a hit from Marcus that I'm still recovering from.
I take a step forward before Marcus signals that he needs a break. I laugh, the sound filling the part of the gym we're fighting in, and stop approaching the man. Hannah walks up to the ring and offers me some of her water as I walk toward one of the corners of the small ring. I silently gesture that I'll accept it and she tosses it at me. When the object is in my hand I use subtle telekinesis to mess with my boxing glove just enough to more easily hold onto the water bottle and sip from it. The cool water tastes good, and I smile as I feel it helping me relax as I wait to continue the fight. This is the sixth time I've beaten Marcus, but I'll give the man one bit of praise: he's persistent. He likes fighting enough that he is always eager to try and fight me, and I like fighting just enough to appreciate his resistance to the idea that I can beat him. It's not always easy for me to keep on finding partners that I can spar with.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
In the days that follow this fight, the young jumper continues to spar with Marcus. He steadily trains his "Brawler" class, and takes on class skills that do things like make him a more efficient hand-to-hand fighter, even gaining skills that he suspects, and hopes that he won't need here; like the ability to launch a punch that can inflict damage at a distance.
The figure's volunteering remains a steadfast facet of his in-jump identity. The man gains popularity throughout the place that is, functionally, his hometown, as he becomes a well-known volunteer. He even makes the places he volunteers at more popular, using a steadily increasing amount of local and online popularity to advocate for the organizations he supports. This first began to occur about three months into his stay in the jump, but he really begins to leverage it at the six month mark and he quickly begins to slowly become a minor force in the community, taking advantage of his heavy charisma build to sway hearts and minds to his cause.
His days at work continue to remain fairly unchanged from how they were at the start of his time in the jump, though on very rare occasions he creates reports and the in-jump equivalent of PowerPoint presentations about the data he has compiled to his supervisor. He has also overseen a day of service for members of his department to go and volunteer at the soup kitchen where he volunteered on the day he met Hannah, allowing him a pleasant chance to practice his leadership skills. He earns his first pay raise just under a year into his stay in this setting.
Minor missteps occur along the way, such as the figure overbooking himself during one particularly hectic weekend, which annoys his friends and fellow volunteers but serves as a decently humbling experience for the overly eager adventurer and also shows his friends that he is, ultimately, human.
Lucas continues his relaxed, fairly peaceful days for more and more time. By the time he has been in the jump for a full two years his pre-jump life feels like a memory or a strange dream, though this change to his state of mind does not actually mean he cannot recall such a time only that he has fully acclimated to the realities of being a jumper. At least as much as someone who is still on their first jump can acclimate to such a thing.
A/N: I like this episodic style for the necessary time skips that a standard (or mostly standard) jumpchain story will require. Now I'm gonna say that this style won't be universal across all jumps since some jumps may be better suited to shorter timeframes. Heck some more story-intensive jumps may benefit from longer focuses on individual events and sequences of events, but we've gone past the tutorial phase for this jump and I think minor episodic looks at broad timescales is better than a thousand chapter story that only hits one year in a jump and ultimately gets dropped. That said, I know that I'm not doing this style of writing PERFECTLY, so I hope that I can use this to grow as a writer and to become better able to convey how long time skips affect the characters, relationships, and strengths of the people involved over time. Still, if nothing else this was fun.
ALSO, as an author's note that is unique to the subreddit: this story is being published on Spacebattles and the white line that cuts through parts of the story indicates a narration/viewpoint shift. On Spacebattles and several other places I write there are in-built formatting options that allow you to cut through a textbox with a horizontal line which serves as a visual marker for some significant change to some aspect of the story. The line I made was my attempt to do that here on Reddit. It's... not perfect, but hey I'm trying.
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2024.05.21 07:57 skyeky_ [M4A] Cruel Soldier Prince Takes You Hostage [Enemies to lovers] [Evil prince] [Fantasy] [PT3]

PT 1 PT 2
Hi everyone! Welcome. please enjoy the script!! Any questions regarding the script please message me directly, but it's okay to monetize and make gender changes, but please no major script changes! Thank you very much for reading!
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[Sounds of panic, running can be heard, soldiers moving around in a battle]
Prince: Don't look back okay? Keep running! We need to make it to the river, there's supposed to be one just through these trees!
Listener: ....
Prince: I don't know what it is, I never saw it, and I said don't look back!
Listener: ....
Prince: There's nothing we can do for them! This is their job, focus on what's in front of you or you'll die too!
[The listener trips and falls. The Prince notices after a second, and hesitates]
Prince: Shit...-
[Prince goes back and pulls the listener up]
Prince: On your feet damn it! The river is just up ahead! Can you swim?
Listener: ....
Prince: Well then I hope you're a fast learner.
[Heavy beast footsteps approaching, something is charging them]
Prince: Shit shit shit- why the hell is it following us?! Damn... it's fast! There's the river, jump, now!
[Listener jumps in]
Prince: Like fuck am I dying to you, ugly.
[Prince jumps in, and the audio fades out]
[Sounds of being underwater, muffled speech as the audio fades back in]
Prince: Hey, Silverspoon! Where the hell are you! [Prince tries not to inhale any water as they're both carried down the river, gasping for air] God damn it, I can't see anything!
[Audio fades out again, then back in]
Prince: Ugh! [Gasping] If you can hear me, try to protect your head and keep it above water! Don't fight the current!
[Audio fades out, fades back in with forest sounds and a river, as they both wash up on the river bank]
Prince: [Coughing] I... don't hear anything... I have no idea how far the river brought us, but I think it's far enough that we're safe. Are you still alive over there, Silverspoon?
Listener: ....
Prince: Alright, well stop laying in the mud then. We need to get moving. We need to find shelter, and figure out what we're doing. There’s no way of knowing exactly where we are… but the river should have carried us to the west… ughh, damn it! What the hell even was that thing?!
Listener: ….
Prince: Huh- uh, what? What’s wrong with my… oh.
Listener: ….
Prince: No, it doesn’t normally bend like that, you’re right. For once. I guess it must have happened in the river? A broken arm is going to be a little… annoying.
Listener: ….
Prince: Like I told you before, I feel nothing. It just means this arm likely isn’t going to do me much good for anything out here. I’m just glad it’s not your arm, if I had to deal with you whimpering and complaining about a sore arm, your company would be twice as insufferable as it already is.
Listener: ….
Prince: Excuse me? “Let me see your arm” oh like hell! You’d do more harm than good, your stitches were atrocious, I can only imagine what your patch job for a broken bone would be.
Listener: ….
Prince: No, I said your stitches were ‘good enough’ which is entirely different from good! Just leave me be, I’ll make a sling and that’ll do. [Sound of fabric tearing as he rips his clothes for cloth] As long as I can walk and hold a sword, I’m not concerned. Now, if you’re interested in returning to civilization, I suggest you follow me. Don’t slow me down, or I’ll leave you behind.
[A few moments of silence, and footsteps in the grass/woods/dirt as the two start walking]
Prince: Tell me if you see any animals, we’re going to need food to eat tonight. And keep an eye out for danger, I’m busy trying to make sense of where we are. I know every landmark in the kingdom, I just need to find something definitive, so I don’t have time to focus on threats as well.
Listener: ….
Prince: Yes, I expect we’ll be sleeping in the woods for at least a few days. We weren’t in a very populated area to begin with, it could be days, if not weeks until we come across something. Although, I don’t expect us to last weeks out here.
Listener: ….
Prince: I’m not a pessimist, I’m a realist. My arm is broken which is bound to take its toll eventually, and you’re bruised and cut like the average prisoner in my dungeon. Honestly I’m surprised you didn’t break anything, you’re rather delicate looking. Hold on-... where is your other shoe? You’re missing one.
Listener: …..
Prince: [The prince sighs] Alright, well that’s not going to work. Walking in one high heel is going to make you trip, especially in this terrain. Not to mention if you step on something sharp and can’t walk, you’re going to cause me a lot more trouble. Here, take mine. [The prince takes his shoes off, handing them to the listener]
Listener: ….
Prince: Don’t, just take them. It’s not out of concern, don’t fool yourself. If I hurt my feet, it won’t slow me down. You’re a different story entirely.
Listener: ….
Prince: Good. Now let’s go.
Listener: ….
Prince: I told you, I have no idea what it was. I’ve never seen a beast like that. It looked like some sort of… I don’t even know. Whatever it was, it decimated an entire troop of soldiers. I get the feeling it’s going to be a much bigger problem for me in the future. The main issue is its speed. If it weren’t for the trees slowing it down, we would have certainly died. Ah, not something to focus on now though, I suppose.
[A few moment of silence and just footsteps again]
Prince: What? Why did I save you? I don’t know, it wasn’t really my intention. Instinct, I suppose. You were there in the wagon with me, so I just acted. There wasn’t really time to think about anything. It wasn’t an act of kindness, you just got lucky. Or unlucky, seeing as this means you’re still my prisoner. Most people prefer it to being dead, not all though.
Listener: ….
Prince: Call me dramatic if you want, I don’t care. I’m only trying to give you fair warning, and keep the boundaries of our relationship completely clear. You? Prisoner. Me? Captor. Got that? Right now we’re on a temporary truce to survive a giant monster attack, so just try to make sure you don’t trick yourself into thinking I’m going to look out for you, or that we’re allies of some kind.
Listener: ….
Prince: You’re welcome to think whatever you want, but don’t start crying when you find out that you’re wrong, and get yourself hurt.
[The listener runs towards the prince]
Prince: Pfft, you’ve never been in the woods a day in your life, have you?
Listener: ….
Prince: Well you just ran at me to save you from a bug, so… oh actually you know what, that thing is giant, fair enough. There, it’s taken care of. I wouldn’t want that thing crawling on me, either. Anyway, while we’re stuck out here, I might as well teach you a few things. That way I won’t have to do everything myself. Once I kill us something for dinner, I’ll teach you how to skin and prep it properly. And collect water, that’ll be important too. We’ll go over the basics when we make camp for the night.
[Scene fades out]
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[Scene opens with sounds of a crackling campfire and nighttime ambience]
Prince: You did okay. The shelter hasn’t tipped over yet, and this rabbit isn’t burnt or raw, so that’s a moderate success. Next one we catch, we’ll see if you were paying attention to my ‘introduction to game prep’ crash course. Once the dew forms in the morning, we'll collect it off the big leaves of the trees around here. Not much left to do now. Ugh, I’m exhausted. Maybe I’ll just sleep for a few days and deal with the rest later… oh, right, gotta take- wait.
[The prince rifles through his bag, looking for his medicine. The sound of broken glass shards clicking together is heard, and rifling suddenly stops]
Prince: …damn it. I should have checked my bag sooner… ugh!
Listener: ….
Prince: Uh n-no, it’s nothing. Mind your own business! I… we… need to get back to civilization as soon as possible. Back to the palace.
Listener: ….
Prince I told you before, don’t ask me about it. The only thing you’re serving to do with that is piss me off.
Listener: ….
Prince: It’s not a big deal. In fact it’s no concern at all. I don’t even need it! I don’t think so, at least. I- ugh, didn’t I tell you to mind your own business?
Listener: ….
Prince: Do not call me hornet prince. Look, I would never tell you anything relating to a weakness of mine, because that’s a good way to have them exploited. You may be stupid, but surely you can understand the value of keeping your secrets?
Listener: ….
Prince: You’re… sick? What are you talking about?
Listener: ….
Prince: You… are you saying that because of what I said? Being frail and ill since childhood isn’t all that uncommon, but that explains why you seem so easily exhausted. I mean you looked like you were about to collapse before we jumped in the river, and we only ran for a couple of minutes. I don’t care, though, let me be clear. You sharing a weakness doesn’t really count if you have no strength to stand on anyway.
Listener: ….
Prince. I guess you did at least survive being swept down a river, but I don’t know if I’d classify the state you’re in as ‘well’.
Listener: ….
Prince: You can give up trying to gain my trust, it’s not going to happen. Besides, you just admitted you were lying to me when I found you on the road. Sneaking away from your family is not the story you relayed to me then. Whatever, doesn’t matter now.
Listener: ….
Prince: Ah, now I see. This is your plan to get me to let you look at my arm, hm?
Listener: ….
Prince: You’re not as clever as you think. You’re not very clever at all, honestly, from what I’ve seen. Well, I suppose we’ll be sharing a sleeping space tonight anyway, so… fine. If you try anything, there will be a sword sticking into your chest before you can blink. That’s your only warning. Anyway… here.
[The prince extends his arm, letting the listener check it out]
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Prince: Huh… you know, I’ll admit, I didn’t expect you to know how to set a bone. Your needlework said you didn’t have much doctoring experience, but maybe I’m just used to experts. The doctors in the castle are typically trying not to leave scars, but your stitching is holding well. Where did you learn all this?
Listener: ….
Prince: You… learned by patching up your brothers? Didn’t you have servants to do that for you? And what the hell were your brothers doing as children to require that much medical attention-? Actually forget I asked, I don’t actually care. This will do fine, in any case.
Listener: ….
Prince: If you’re looking for a thank you, it’s not coming. I’m going to sleep now, I’m tired, and talking to someone so boring isn’t helping that.
[The prince stands, walks over to the shelter they built, and the listener follows him. He crawls in and lays down, once again followed by the listener]
Prince: Do your best not to touch me during my sleep, if you startle me, I might end up stabbing you. I’m sure you’d like to avoid that, and I’d like to avoid getting my clothes any bloodier. Stay strictly on your side of the shelter, and we won’t have an issue.
Listener: ….
Prince: Yeah, so what if you get cold? Not my problem, go cuddle a bear or something.
Listener: ….
Prince: Yeah… goodnight, Silverspoon.
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Hope you liked PT 3 of the script! The prince has a cannon name. I thought it might be fun to have people guess what it might be. If you have a guess, please feel free to comment it! A hint is, it has something to do with a general of the distant past. Either way, do you think I should add his name to the script eventually, or keep it blank? I may even leave it up to a creator by creator basis, who knows! Either way, I think an air of mystery is really fun so I include that a lot, but I also really like to give my characters names, haha. Anyway, thank you for reading!
submitted by skyeky_ to ASMRScriptHaven [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 07:09 viewtoathrill Direktøren for det hele (The Boss of it All, 2006)

2024: Post #76 Watched May 2nd As part of the Curzon Lars von Trier Complete Collection IMDB Directed by: Lars von Trier Written by: Lars von Trier TSPDT: 18,214
99 minutes. Although it’s tempting to say this is Lars von Trier’s take on The Office, the comedy in this film sits closer to Klown or Four Lions. It is the tamest of von Trier’s work, but it is also a bit deeper than it seems on the surface.
Always the tinkerer, von Trier created a camera rig that allows the camera to move left or right based on a random number generator. A computer produces a number and the camera moves, not paying attention to the timing within the scene or the dialog being spoken. This creates a slightly off-kilter experience but also adds to the amateur quality that really works with a mockumentary-style awkward office comedy.
It’s also worth noting this movie feels almost nothing like any other von Trier project. It is a straight comedy, without any surprise gore or existential despair. The premise is actually pretty funny. There’s a CEO, Peter Gantzler, who is about to make some tough business decisions, and doesn’t want the blame, so hires an actor to play the real CEO, who has been working out of America, to come and deliver the bad news. The actor, Jens Albinus who also played a big role in The Idiots, is introduced as a self-important actor and we come to find out he takes his work very seriously. He plays an amazing “straight man” in this. He feels like he has the role of a lifetime, and we watch him transform into method acting and really becoming the boss of it all.
The humor runs throughout, but the back half of this film is exceptionally clever. As the bad news starts to spread, and the actor sees human lives impacted, the games tops becoming fun and he gets into a back and forth with the real CEO to share the blame. Like most comedies, the best parts of this are not necessarily the plot structure but the jokes and the dialog.
In an interview about this film, von Trier said he has always enjoyed the types of comedies where you may not be rolling over laughing, but you’re caught up in the wit and the humor and when it’s over you start replaying all of the good jokes in your head. A comedy that gets funnier on every viewing. I think that’s what he’s made here. It’s a sneaky funny movie with constant well-written jokes and scenarios. This is for sure worth watching if you get the chance.
submitted by viewtoathrill to personalhistoryoffilm [link] [comments]

2024.05.21 06:47 No_Marzipan_1230 Industrial Mage: Modernizing A Magical World - Chapter 02 – The Blight

Synopsis:
An engineer in another world—blending science and magic to achieve greatness in a world where skills and levels reign supreme.
—
Ethan was just a plain old engineer, but everything changed when he was reborn into a world of skills, levels, and magic. With his advanced knowledge far ahead of the time period he finds himself in, this new reincarnated life will be much different than his last, especially because he can construct, deconstruct, and reconstruct runes—something no one else can do.
But with royal politics, looming tax collectors, a mountain of debt, dungeon incursions, cults, and hostile fantasy races mixing together into a cocktail of bullshit that threatens to bury his dreams; Ethan must bridge the gap between steel and sorcery to grow stronger.
First < Previous Next >

Chapter 02

-1-
Roland cursed under his breath as he trudged down the muddy path toward Lord Theodore's manor. The late early morning sun cast long shadows, painting the desolate landscape in an even bleaker light.
Why was it only him who had to deal with Lord Theodore's bullshit? Just last night, Roland had to take care of all the complaints from the bar he'd found Lord Theodore at. Not to mention, he had to pay compensation to the wenches from his own personal funds.
And that wasn't even half the things he'd done yesterday alone.
After all, Lord Theodore was either busy abusing his power and bullying the people of the town, gambling, drinking, getting wasted with his face stuck up a prostitute, or doing his fourth favorite activity which, naturally, was a combination of the latter three. The man wasn't the brightest, but he wasn't quite dumb enough to avoid dealing with the problems the town of Holden faced.
Roland shook his head when he made it to the estate gates. As expected, there were guards, servants, and soldiers dashing left and right, but he was ignored. It was time to beg Lord Theodore to attend to his duties. None dared stop him, for he was a [Knight] appointed to Lord Theodore by his father—Lord Alexander Lockheart—and an acting advisor while said lord was being, well, his usual idiotic and selfish self.
So, Roland did what he had to; he moved past them all, and made for Lord Theodore's sleeping quarters where a handful of maids were all fussing about like hens with their heads chopped off.
Lord Theodore's quarters were not large by noble standards, but impressive all the same. Lavish and gaudy, just as he expected. Tapestries and drapes were hung up high all about the walls, and on the ground, there were expensive fur carpets.
After moving past the maids and butlers who were currently shuffling about like a horde of ants whose nest was threatened by a boar, he stopped before a silk drape that barred the way to Lord Theodore's bedchambers.
"Lord Theodore," he called.
Silence.
"Lord Theodore?"
Nothing.
Feeling a little annoyed, Roland frowned. "Lord Theodore," he called again. "With all due respect, are you presently attired?"
Nothing but a muffled sound came from the other side. Roland grimaced, and looked up at the ceiling in exasperation before dropping his hand and tugging the curtain aside. The inside of the bedchamber wasn't much to look at. Just your average nobleman's bedroom with a canopy bed big enough to fit twelve women side-by-side.
Most did, in fact, do just that.
A bookshelf stood on each wall, and at the far end was another drape that led to an enclosed balcony where he had the gall to throw his used clothes through during summer.
"Greetings, my lord," Roland said.
Lord Theodore, however, didn't answer.
He sat in front of a full-length mirror on the dresser. He had this listless sort of look, like he just didn't know how to deal with things. It wasn't an expression he'd ever seen on the man's face.
"Lord Theodore, are you well?" Roland inquired, a sliver of unease creeping into his voice. Though he found the young lord childish—given he was barely eighteen years old—Lord Theodore was his responsibility. He'd been Roland's responsibility when he was a little brat, and even now.
Theodore gave a startled response. "Ah, Roland? Yes, I am quite well."
"My lord, with all due respect, I implore you to be truthful. Has something transpired?"
Roland was anxious now. While he harbored no particular fondness for Lord Theodore, a sworn oath bound him to protect and care for the Baron. Granted, his master, Lord Theodore's own father, had afforded him considerable autonomy within Holden's borders—heck, he could even go as far as beating up Lord Theodore without consequences, if Roland deemed it reasonable and necessary—but his code of honor held oaths sacred. The son of the house Varian would rather lose an arm and his birthright than break a single [Oath] made.
"No, truly, I'm fine."
"If that is the case," Roland acknowledged with a curt nod, "then I bear news."
Lord Theodore furrowed his brow. "Good news, I trust?"
"I'm afraid not," Roland sighed. "Yesterday, our patrol in the Deadwoods encountered a band of brigands...…"
Lord Theodore's frown deepened. "While banditry is a common occurrence, it often heralds further troubles. Elaborate, Roland."
"Indeed, my lord," Roland continued, "these brigands weren't merely causing a ruckus. Apparently, they were engaged in combat with a rather formidable creature, vaguely humanoid in form."
Lord Theodore's posture stiffened. "Vaguely humanoid? Can you provide further details?"
Roland shook his head. "Limited information, I'm afraid. Only reports of unnatural speed reached our ears; it appeared to be engaged with wolves. Both fled upon human-contact, however."
Lord Theodore stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Did our men prevail against the brigands? And this creature—surely Captain..." he paused, searching for the man's name.
"Thomas," Roland supplied.
"Ah, yes, Thomas. Holden is geographically close to the Deadwoods. Sir Thomas wouldn't simply abandon such a threat near the bordertowns, would he? He and I may not see eye to eye on certain matters, but... surely he wouldn't leave such a threat unaddressed." Lord Theodore said.
Roland hesitated. "Captain Thomas chose to bypass us and directly inform the Crown of their discovery. He remained tight-lipped regarding specifics despite repeated inquiries."
Lord Theodore hummed thoughtfully. "If Thomas deems it worthy of the Crown's attention, then it surpasses our jurisdiction. Let's hope for their swift and decisive action. What of the brigands? Eliminated, I presume?"
"So it seems," Roland replied. "All but one met their demise. The sole survivor remains in a cell, though maddened beyond reason."
"I see. Is that for now?" Lord Theodore leaned back in his chair.
"Not quite, my lord. We've had a recent outbreak of the Blight, and we suspect it was an intentional spread. Unfortunately, the culprit remains unidentified."
Theodore's expression morphed into one of genuine shock. "Are these two seemingly unrelated issues connected, perhaps?" He asked.
"It appears to be the case, my lord." A sigh escaped Roland's lips. The Blight—a magical sickness that eats away at your life force, causes lethargy, nausea, and kills you, all while your body radiates a pervasive foul odor. It had recently taken hold on a few people of Holden. Why or how, Roland did not know.
"Those afflicted have been quarantined in a secure location far from Holden to prevent further contagion. Our physicians are doing their utmost to manage them. However, several have died already, and the remaining victims exhibit signs of feral behavior—meaning, they have already entered the late stage, I'm afraid. It's become imperative that they remain under quarantine, lest they either bite other humans—given there's hunger for raw flesh in the late stage—or they could infect the crops, causing them to decay. Consequently, the farmers, understandably anxious, have retreated into their homes."
They were likely waiting for their lord, incompetent as he may be, to deal with the situation. Yet, he had his hand up a wench's skirt more than actually trying to fix the issues... What can I do with him? Roland sighed.
Lord Theodore rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Roland."
"Yes, my lord?"
"Do you think the Merchant Guild would let me have another loan?"
Roland's lips thinned into a line, but he shook his head. "Regrettably, my lord, they would not. The Merchants' Guild has been cautious lately. There was this whole unpleasant affair with a prominent [Merchant Lord] named Bertram, you might know the name. Used to flaunt more gold jewelry than some of the highborn nobles. Turns out, he was embezzling.
"Apparently, he manipulated the Guild's books for months. Inflated trade contracts with nonexistent suppliers from faraway lands, siphoned off the extra profit into his own pockets. Clever, gotta give him that. Even forged shipping manifests to keep it all looking legit.
"Nasty business, that. Apparently, the esteemed Lord Bertram decided a little vacation was in order after everything, and wouldn't you know it, he packed a rather hefty sum from the Guild's coffers along for the ride as well. We're talking a near royal-wedding-sized dowry here, my lord. Vanished, all of it.
"The details are still murky, but rumor has it Bertram might have gotten tangled with pirates operating from the Broken Isles. One of the [Pirate Kings], perhaps—or most likely. So, the Merchants' Guild has been refraining from giving out loans. And, my apologies to say this, my lord, but you're a high-risk individual, and you already have quite the debt with them... They wouldn't want to give more."
Lord Theodore already had a mountain of debt on his name... The interest rate was more than what Lord Theodore could pay off even if the crops did better than planned. Given that the Adventurers' Guild of this sector had been rather short on manpower lately due to a dungeon incursion in the town, Corinth, lying beside theirs and given that Lord Theodore had a tendency for tax evasion and then laundering… Yeah, they were royally fucked. Even if in this situation, Lord Theodore wanted a loan for himself... Roland just gave up. Maybe it was time to return to his master, Lord Theodore's father, and just ask him to appoint him somewhere else—he couldn't deal with this scumbag anymore, not in his current state.
"I see, they wouldn't. Not surprising. It seems I'm going to have to hire a [Necromancer] by my lonesome."
Roland blinked. "That's..." a shock, Roland stopped himself from saying. [Necromancers] cost a hefty sum, and given that Lord Theodore was already under debt and likely the financial situation of Holden was anything but optimal, hiring a [Necromancer] would've put a huge dent in Holden's already meager reserves. However, Roland hadn't imagined, not in his wildest dreams, that Lord Theodore would be employing one by his lonesome.
Throughout his life, Roland had known this man to not even spare a thought to anything that wasn't his immediate self-gratification, or his amusement and satisfaction. How was the wastrel noble suddenly going to change?
"My lord, my apologies for asking, but why do you require a [Necromancer's] assistance?" Roland finally asked, schooling his shocked expression.
"Oh, I have some... theories regarding the Blight." Lord Theodore grinned. "And a [Necromancer] might just be someone who we need in order to solve this problem once and for all."
Roland was shocked to his core, once more. "But, my lord, the treatment for the Blight isn't something common folk can afford? So, how...?"
"Nonsense, Roland. Forget that rudimentary concoction they peddle as a cure. I envision a more... permanent solution. Issue a commission at the Adventurers' Guild—a [Necromancer] or perhaps a [Witch], their talents are equally suited for this task."
"Yes, my lord." Roland bowed, failing to comprehend what Lord Theodore was planning on doing.
-2-
When Roland left, Ethan found it easier to relax. The stiff, aristocratic manners these people employed were rather annoying to bear with. No, they were rather hard to imitate, more accurately. Because despite his efforts, he'd still found it hard to match their ways, but it was doable. Not good enough, yet, but doable.
"How should I, going forward, act, then?" he muttered. "Because if I've understood a single thing, it is this: Theo's character as I know it now will ruin any chance of me, well, earning anything, be that respect, wealth, power, or all three. Should I continue as him, then, or completely overhaul Theodore's character and pretend it's some epiphany? A spiritual enlightenment, perhaps?"
Ethan shook his head. Whatever it may be, he wasn't planning on being like Theo. Let's go with a gradual change in mannerism.
First, however, he needed to deal with the Blight issue. Which would be easily dealt with—all he had to do was pay the [Necromancer], or [Witch], from his own pouch. Then, he needed to figure out this town's financial status and everything else in order to organize a working infrastructure and create new financial opportunities. Afterwards, he could move onto his 'character', if that is indeed what his situation required. There's a lot to do.
Before everything, however, a bath.
After all, he reeked of sweat and alcohol, among other not-so pleasant scents.
...
It took no more than a few minutes for a handful of servants to prepare the bath. Hot water steamed inside the spacious tub as soap bubbles glistened—soap that was far too expensive for the common folk. Despite being a luxury, its quality was arguably trash. Regardless, this was all the people had in this world. A strong scent of lavender permeated the air and tickled his nose as he undressed. A few maids had prepared for his comfort and placed a silken bathrobe alongside a set of towels on a small table near the bathtub before he'd dismissed them, ordering them to inform the kitchen staff that he would like his meal soon.
Ethan relaxed his shoulders, took the robe with one hand, and tossed it carelessly nearby. It was fine silk. Ethan shook his head before proceeding with an easy grace into the water. It was hot. Yet, Ethan felt rather cold, despite the heat. It helped him relax, and with it, the stiff persona that was Lord Theodore faded.
Ethan sank deeper, letting his long blond locks loose. A quick thought made him bring his hand forward. What if... he could make a fire? Just a little one, like a candle flame. How cool would that be? He focused, willing a tiny spark to appear on his fingertip. Nothing. Just a sputter and a fizzle.
"Hmm," he mumbled, undeterred. "Maybe I need to practice."
He doubted it was just understanding. After all, the skill [Elemental Spells] had given him the barest hints of the basics of how to create a basic spark of flame. He lacked control over mana. [Magic Perception] allowed him to view his mana—flowing, fast-moving streams and spiraling, coiling vortexes. It was chaotic; it was a mess! Maybe if he calmed it down, he could actually make something happen?
Easier said than done, he quickly learned. When he moved it, it took no less effort than bending metal with brute force. The feeling was there, and the will, too. Just the act of 'moving' it alone was a herculean effort. It seemed nigh impossible.
Maybe I'm doing it wrong?
Humming, Ethan looked through the snippets of memories he'd gotten from Theodore. The memories, he found, weren't entirely useless; as his mind drifted back and forth from those flashes, he did remember something Theodore had seen last night... There! A memory from last night—a drunk mage at the bar, showing off with a fireball for some girl who didn't seem too impressed.
"Let's see how that trick works," Ethan grinned.
With [Magic Perception], he saw how the spell flowed. The "spell" was, in a way, forced outwards into reality through the use of symbols he quickly recognized as runes—at least that was what he assumed after seeing the fireball.
Ethan could easily recall the shape of the rune that'd appeared before the fire took form on top of the mage's hand.
I'm pretty sure it's not possible to view runes. I assume, at least, from what little fragments of memories I got from Theo. Anyway, let's move my mana in the shape, then.
He imagined the shape on top of his hand and willed the mana to pour into it. Soon, rune motes started forming out of thin air, ripping into reality. Forming into a shape he willed, a rune burned brightly and loudly atop his palm. As he drew his hand forward, flames burst into life, flickering before fizzling out.
[Basic Magic Script] — Lvl 1 -> Lvl 2!
Congratulations! You have gained skill: [Basic Rune Creation]!
"Whoa." Ethan stared at his hand, a wide grin splitting his face. So that's how it works! Runes, huh? That's awesome! Ethan felt like a child again. He couldn't wait to try again, this time with a smaller flame, as it appeared that a fireball was far too much for his lacking skill and control. Magic... it was epic stuff!
Before that, however, he looked at the new skill he'd gained.
~Basic Rune Creation – Level 1~
Type: Active
Effect: You have grasped the fundamental concept of using runes to channel and shape your mana for basic magical effects. The Connection between two of your skill—[Magic Perception] and [Basic Magic Script]—has resulted in the creation of a new skill. You can now create simple runes that allow for the manipulation of elemental energy on a small scale. As your skill level increases, you will be able to create more complex runes, allowing for more powerful and versatile spells. You may also learn to combine runes for even greater magical effects.
Ethan stared. Reading the description was a quick matter of concentration. It took him by surprise, however, when he realized it. Rune creation? Huh. Does that mean I can create anything? The thought alone was exciting. What about rune motes? Rune motes were fragments of runes, combining certain fragments could result in a full rune. I saw them congregating into the shape of a rune, but is it possible to just create rune motes and not a full rune? I should try.
Regardless of his thoughts, it was creation—
—and Ethan loved creation. Even as a child, he had never gotten tired of tinkering with things. He still recalled the time he'd gotten his first Lego set. Just putting random pieces together with no thought for a bigger picture—he'd loved that. He'd loved doing all sorts of stuff with Legos, creating different castles or other complex structures, but it was building something completely random and ridiculous, yet unique nonetheless, which gave him the most sense of satisfaction. It was fun. It was a hobby—a hobby that ignited in him a fire of passion for innovation.
It was then the thought of being a civil engineer had sprung up in his mind. To put it simply, a civil engineer is responsible for planning, designing, and constructing buildings. Though, that was just a general term. Ethan would have been perfectly happy had he chosen that. Unfortunately, his father had wanted him to become a boxer, instead.
The man wanted to become one himself in his prime, but due to health issues, he'd quit right before making it to a big league. He'd hoped his son would achieve what he couldn't and bring victory for the family. Even though Ethan hadn't exactly planned boxing as his future, but who could refuse the pressure his old man put on him? Especially when he'd been just a little boy?
It was another matter entirely that Ethan fell in love with boxing, too, as it made him feel alive. The sensation of a punching bag slamming against his fists? Nothing quite made his blood boil like that.
And oh, fighting in the ring. There was just something about the sport Ethan couldn't resist.
Something about creation, fighting, and experiencing a bit of both, had Ethan wishing he could try the other options that lay in front of him now.
Could he make a real spaceship, in this world?
It sounded silly as fuck and he knew it. Nonetheless, the temptation was still there, hovering and nagging at the edge of his mind, as ridiculous as his previous thoughts might have been.
Spaceships are cool, dammit.
That thought suddenly gave Ethan pause. "Let's just return to practice."
This time, fire flickered atop his fingertips for a second longer.
Another second was added on top of that after his third try.
The light was dim. However, it did mean something: improvement.
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 1 -> Lvl 2!
Grinning like an idiot, Ethan sank deeper into the hot bath water and brought his other hand up to repeat the exercise for the next half an hour or so, occasionally reading a notification that would come every now and then.
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 2 -> Lvl 3!
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 3 -> Lvl 4!
[Elemental Spells] — Lvl 4 -> Lvl 5!
But no matter what, he couldn't get it to level up to level 6, nor could he level up [Basic Magic Script] from level 2 to 3.
Why not, though? I'm doing—
"Don't rush," he chided himself. "Your control is pitiful, shaping is trash, and your spellcasting is akin to tossing stones into the sea without even knowing how to make it bounce—guesswork is all you are, but it's a good start, I suppose."
As he set a handful of candle-like flames afloat on all five of his fingers, his lips quirked into a wide smirk. It was only a party trick. For now, that is. I need to find more about magic and learn. I've been winging it.
That was true; he didn't understand anything about magic. All he'd done so far was try to emulate the rune he'd seen in the memory snippet through the help of [Magic Perception] and cast a few party tricks. Was that impressive? He had literally no comparison to base off of, thus why he knew he needed to learn more.
Theodore's memories proved to be useless in this regard, too. His father hadn't found him worthy enough to be assigned a mage as a tutor. Theodore was a disappointment through and through, and that's why he'd been sent to rule the bordertowns.
He could cast the spell, yes, but he didn't understand the underlying concepts that fueled the magic or what the process was.
-3-
Ethan descended down the stairs that would lead him to the dining room where breakfast had already been laid out for him. Two maids were present as well. It was a feast of the likes he'd only ever read in fairy tales. Fried, scrambled, boiled eggs. Different shapes, sizes, and cuts. Cakes and pies in varying quantities and sizes. Grilled meat, smoked and salted. How could he ever eat everything alone?
Ethan exhaled and then dove in; however, he still maintained decorum as it was imperative to do so given that he was a noble now. Regardless, once done, he made it to the meeting room given that he had some people to meet today.
"Barely breaking even," Ethan muttered, flicking the parchment in his hand. He frowned at the financial situation of Holden, the town he was in charge of. The bordertowns consisted of a series of towns lying on the periphery of the borders. Each town was a barony in name, and nobles—especially troublesome nobles—were often sent here to practice ruling and to make them accustomed to how the common folk lived, so they could empathize with the people they ruled.
With how many bandits the region had had lately, the Blight, debt, tax, and interest that'd ramped up, Ethan's current situation was mind-fucking at best and a keg waiting to explode at worst.
I don't want to deal with Theo's issues.
Not only was this whole situation something Ethan did not want in the slightest, a whole can of worms that were Theo's problems was thrust into his hands. Ethan had held no fantasies of getting isekai'd. That was suicide in his books. He'd have been more than happy to die and meet oblivion. But now that he was here…
Leaning back into his chair, Ethan rubbed his eyes. Yeah, he needed to deal with everything and make the best of his situation to live a comfortable life. When Roland returned with a man in tow, Ethan hummed.
The man was young, younger than Roland, even. Black hair and sharp green eyes. He held himself high with confidence and Ethan recognized him instantly. Isn't he that mage from the bar?
"My lord," Roland bowed. "I have brought a [Necromancer] as per your command."
The [Necromancer] bowed and with a thin smile said, "Pleased to be at your service, my lord. The name's Jack."
Hm. So he wasn't a mage but a [Necromancer].
"Likewise," Ethan replied with a nod, then leaned forward, smiling. "Say, Jack, would you like to be part of a business opportunity?
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2024.05.21 06:42 GuiltlessMaple Best Closet Air Fresheners

Best Closet Air Fresheners
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https://preview.redd.it/kues3laflp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75805a57c11ba92728bbdbf28f647437c85f664f
Freshen up your closet with our top picks of closet air fresheners! From sprays to scents, we've rounded up the best products to keep your wardrobe smelling amazing. Say goodbye to stale odors and hello to a fresh, inviting space. Get ready to explore and find the perfect solution for your closet!

The Top 20 Best Closet Air Fresheners

  1. Natural Aromatic Closet Fresheners - 12 Pack Floral Hanging Sachets by Rose Cottage - Experience the freshness of nature in every corner with Rose Cottage's 12Packs Floral Hanging Potpourri Bags - the perfect natural air freshener for your closet or any space in need.
  2. Long-Lasting Flower Scent Closet Air Fresheners - SKPPC 15 Pack Closet Air Fresheners, long-lasting, flower scented sachets perfect for drawers, closet, and gift-giving, keep the sweet aroma lasting up to 1-2 months with proper usage.
  3. Premium Odor Elimination Baking Soda Deodorizer Sachets - Experience the ultimate odor-eliminating power of baking soda with Arm & Hammer Odor Busterz Deodorizer, providing freshness for 60 days!
  4. AirBoss Closet Airfreshener - Lavender Fields - Experience the pleasant fragrance of Lavender Fields with AirBoss's easy-to-use, continuously releasing, water-based gel Closet Air Freshener, designed for continuous freshness and perfect for odor control.
  5. Long-Lasting Closet Scented Air Fresheners - Owevvin 20 Packs Air Freshner Deodorizer Scented Sachets Bags provide a long-lasting, aromatic solution for freshening drawers and closets with their reusable, hook design.
  6. Premium Cedar and Lavender Sachets for Closet Fragrance - Experience the long-lasting, natural fragrance of premium cedar and lavender sachets, expertly designed for use in drawers, closets, and on shelves, with no chemical additives.
  7. Long-Lasting Gardenia Scented Fragrance Sachets for Home Use - Enhance your home's scent experience with MYARO's 12-pack Gardenia scented sachets, designed for long-lasting fragrance in various spaces like closets, drawers, cars, and storage areas!
  8. Organic Lavender Closet Drawer Sachets - Experience the power of nature with The Good Home Co's Closet & Drawer Sachets, featuring a relaxing lavender scent and a commitment to natural, cruelty-free materials.
  9. Rose Cottage Large 12 Packs Scented Lily Closet Air Fresheners - Experience the long-lasting and luxurious fragrance of Rose Cottage's large 12-pack Lily Closet Air Deodorizer Freshener Sachets, designed to transform your home with its diverse range of scents and eco-friendly packaging.
  10. Aromatic Rosemary Sachets for Closet Fragrance - Experience the fresh and long-lasting scent of rosemary with Joanssore's 8-pack sachets, perfect for personal use or gift giving and designed to deodorize your closet or drawer.
  11. Fresh Scented Sachets for Closets and Drawers - MYARO's 12-pack of scented sachets, designed for drawers and closets, provide a long-lasting, natural fragrance that keeps your living space smelling fresh and helps eliminate odors.
  12. Fragrance-Free Odor Eliminator Gel for Closets Lasts up to 4 months - Neutralize tough odors with airBOSS's 17 oz Fragrance-free Closet Odor Eliminator Gel, featuring Activated Charcoal for long-lasting freshness up to 4 months.
  13. Enhance Your Home with MYARO Scented Sachets for Long-Lasting Fragrance - MYARO scented sachets offer a fantastic array of fragrances, from fresh Lavender to the romantic Jasmine, to the Ocean's delightful summer sea water scent, making any room a pleasure to be in.
  14. Scented Air Fresheners for Small Spaces - Pure Breeze Air Fresheners by Renuzit: Bring freshness and neutralize odors in small spaces with a classic scent of white muguet, jasmine, apple, pearl, and cucumber.
  15. MYARO Fresh Scented Sachets for Air Refreshment and Fragrance - MYARO scented sachets offer a range of fragrances for a variety of uses, providing long-lasting freshness and enhancing the atmosphere in your home or office.
  16. Eco-Friendly Lavender Closet Air Freshener: Sachets for Wardrobe & Closet - Breathe in the soothing aroma of natural lavender with these eco-friendly, long-lasting sachets, perfect for transforming closets, cars, and more into a calming sanctuary for your home.
  17. Arm & Hammer Odor Busterz: Long-Lasting Freshness for Closets & Furniture - Experience the freshness of Arm & Hammer Odor Busterz with natural baking soda odor elimination, perfect for various spaces.
  18. Inviting Renuzit Snuggle Gel Air Freshener for Closets and Small Spaces - Refresh your small spaces like bathrooms, closets, and kitchen sinks with Renuzit Snuggle Gel Air Fresheners' inviting laundry scent in a convenient, adjustable design - perfect for continuous fragrance without batteries!
  19. Fresh and Calming Lavender Scented Sachets for Drawers and Closets - MYARO lavender sachets transform your wardrobe, storage, and living spaces into a refreshing aromatic haven, perfect for maintaining a pleasant and peaceful environment.
  20. Refreshing Lavender Vanilla Air Gel Beads for Odor Neutralization - Experience the refreshing power of Clear Air Odor Neutralizing Gel Beads in Lavender Vanilla, trapping odors for up to 90 days in up to 450 square feet with their non-toxic, eco-friendly formula.
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Reviews

🔗Natural Aromatic Closet Fresheners - 12 Pack Floral Hanging Sachets by Rose Cottage

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I recently tried the Rose Cottage 12Packs Floral Hanging Potpourri Bags in my home and was pleasantly surprised by the unique blend of scents. What stood out to me was how these natural air fresheners truly lived up to their promise of lasting for months. The large size sachets were perfect for tackling the smell in my closet, and even better, they worked well as a shoe odor eliminator too!
One of the things I appreciated about these fragrances was that they were made with essential oils created by French professional perfumers. The combination of these scents, along with the Japanese paper packaging, truly made for an incredible and long-lasting fragrance experience.
I also found that the large size sachets were more suitable for bigger spaces, as their fragrance did tend to dissipate a bit faster in smaller areas. Nevertheless, if you place multiple sachets strategically around your space, you'll still enjoy the pleasant scent.
Overall, the Rose Cottage air fresheners were a welcomed addition to my home, providing a natural and long-lasting solution to freshen up the air. Not to mention, the beautiful designs made them great as gifts for friends and family!

🔗Long-Lasting Flower Scent Closet Air Fresheners

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In my daily life, I've come to rely on these SKPPC closet air fresheners as a simple yet effective solution for maintaining a pleasant scent throughout my home. These flower-scented sachets, available in a pack of 15, are perfect for freshening up drawers, closets, and even suitcases. The long-lasting fragrance can last for up to two months, making them a convenient and cost-effective choice.
One of the features that stood out to me is their versatility. You can place these air fresheners in various spaces to fill your life with sweet aromas, keeping you in a good mood all day long. Whether it's in drawers, closets, suitcases, or handbags, these sachets have got you covered.
However, there's a catch: these sachets need to be stored in a closed space, away from direct sunlight, to preserve the aroma. It took me a while to figure out the best way to store them, but once I did, the scent lasted much longer. Additionally, it's essential to open the package when you first use the sachets, as leaving them unopened can cause the aroma to fade over time.
Although some users have reported issues with the scent strength, I've found that these closet air fresheners are a great gift idea. Their sweet aroma can brighten someone's day and make a lovely present for special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries, or even mother's day. To get the most out of these sachets, gently shake them to encourage diffusion and enjoy the long-lasting, delightful fragrance they provide.

🔗Premium Odor Elimination Baking Soda Deodorizer Sachets

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https://preview.redd.it/s16w86iglp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=70ec89f7702f4bbcc4e34b33ddee440bdcc2e660
Recently, I started using Arm & Hammer Odor Busterz Deodorizer for my household and found them to be quite versatile. The natural strength of baking soda in these deodorizers makes it effective in various small spaces.
What stood out to me is the unique perforation in the deodorizer balls, which allows for maximum odor elimination right at the spot. The sachet filled with baking soda and Arm & Hammer's clean burst scent works wonderfully to eliminate odors for up to 60 days and keeps the freshness intact.
One noticeable downside, though, is that the fragrance may be too strong for certain rooms, like kitchens or bathrooms. The scent might even make your dishes or medicine smell and taste odd.
Overall, I've found these deodorizers to be quite efficient in eliminating odors in small areas. It's just essential to be cautious about using them in highly fragrance-sensitive spaces or if you prefer a lighter scent.

🔗AirBoss Closet Airfreshener - Lavender Fields

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Behold the AirBoss Closet Airfreshener in Lavender Fields - my daily savior in the battle against musty closets. The hook design is convenient, allowing me to hang it effortlessly in my wardrobe. The gel formula is water-based, making it environmentally friendly and easy to use. However, be prepared for a bit of evaporation, as the gel dries up within thirty days.
The scent itself is a lovely, calming lavender, perfect for creating a cozy atmosphere. The airfreshener works continuously, and I appreciate the absence of any harsh chemicals. But be mindful, once the gel has evaporated, you'll need to replace the product to maintain its effectiveness. Overall, it's a reliable and eco-friendly option for keeping your closet fresh and fragrant.

🔗Long-Lasting Closet Scented Air Fresheners

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I've been using the Owevvin scented sachets for a while now, and let me tell you, they're a game-changer! I recently received this pack of sachets as a gift, and I must say, I'm quite impressed.
One of the things that stood out to me is the simplicity of their design. The sachets are lightweight and easy to use, making them perfect for filling up drawers and closets with a delightful scent. They also come in a variety of scents, so you can choose the one that suits your taste buds the best.
Now, let's talk about the packaging. Owevvin sachets come in a resealable bag, making it easy to store and reuse. The hook design on each sachet is a nice touch too, as it makes it convenient to hang them in multiple spaces.
Of course, no product is perfect, and the Owevvin scented sachets are no exception. The scent can sometimes be a little overpowering, so I suggest using them in moderation to prevent your space from smelling too strongly.
Overall, I'm quite satisfied with my experience using these scented sachets. They're perfect for a quick pick-me-up or as a thoughtful gift for friends during special occasions. With their long-lasting effect and easy-to-use design, I highly recommend giving Owevvin scented sachets a try!

🔗Premium Cedar and Lavender Sachets for Closet Fragrance

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I recently tried out Professor Killamoth's Cedar Chips and Lavender Sachets, and I have to say, they were a game-changer for my wardrobe. The pack of 20 sachets was perfect, as it allowed me to easily place them in various parts of my closet without feeling overwhelmed.
I was particularly impressed by the long-lasting fragrance these sachets emanated. The combination of premium cedar and lavender truly created a delightful aroma that filled my closet. It was like walking into a little oasis of freshness every time I opened the door.
However, I did notice that the sachets had a tendency to detach from their hangers when I opened the closet. A small piece of double-sided tape would have been a helpful addition to the package to secure them better.
Overall, I'm a big fan of these Cedar Chips and Lavender Sachets. They've not only helped to keep my clothes smelling fresh but also added a touch of luxury to my wardrobe. I highly recommend them for anyone looking to revitalize their closet and enjoy a pleasant fragrance with every wear.

🔗Long-Lasting Gardenia Scented Fragrance Sachets for Home Use

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I've been using MYARO's Gardenia Scented Sachets for quite some time now, and I must say, they've definitely made a difference in my daily life. These sachets are infused with natural fragrance and are perfect for freshening up various spaces around the house. They're great for drawers, closets, and even gym bags - any place where you want a pleasant scent to linger.
One thing that stood out to me was the packaging. Each sachet comes individually sealed in a poly-bag, ensuring that the fragrance remains fresh for as long as possible. This attention to detail is something that I truly appreciate.
However, there were a few cons as well. Some users mentioned that the scents didn't last as long as they hoped, and that they had to use multiple sachets to get the desired effect. Additionally, a couple of reviewers experienced issues with the delivery and customer service.
Despite these minor setbacks, I've found MYARO's scented sachets to be a reliable and pleasant addition to my household. They've definitely made my drawers and closets smell fresher, and for that, I'm grateful.

🔗Organic Lavender Closet Drawer Sachets

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https://preview.redd.it/o86pt5eilp1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1e98f8a812e61074d8dee6a27ecc88c6a5f1d9d8
I recently fell in love with the Good Home Co Closet and Drawer Sachets in lavender scent. These biodegradable sachets are not only gentle on the environment but also on our skin. They're free from parabens, phosphates, sulfates, and phthalates, and being 100% vegan and cruelty-free adds to their appeal.
However, their durability leaves a bit to be desired. They don't last very long, be it in my closet or drawer. It's almost like using the lavender sachets as dryer sheets - now that's an idea!
Despite this slight drawback, I still enjoy using these lovely fragranced beads tucked away in soft, beautiful fabric sachets. They add a sense of tranquility and freshness to any space they're placed in.

🔗Rose Cottage Large 12 Packs Scented Lily Closet Air Fresheners

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In the world of deodorizers and air fresheners, Rose Cottage's large 12 pack lily closet air deodorizer is a game-changer. The upgrade in size, thanks to the addition of more top French essential oils, ensures that these sachets provide a long-lasting, pleasant scent that permeates your surroundings.
Designed with both aesthetics and fragrance in mind, these sachets are a perfect addition to any living space. The large-size sachets are ideal for larger spaces, but for optimal scent circulation, it's recommended to place them in close proximity to each other. Don't shy away from giving the sachet a little shake for an extra burst of fragrance.
Compared to bamboo charcoal bags and dried flower bags, Rose Cottage's air fresheners offer a variety of scents that release a delightful aroma. With Japanese paper packaging, your home will benefit from not just the scent, but also the durability these products offer.
These sachets make an excellent gift, as they're not just functional but visually appealing as well. And with Rose Cottage's commitment to quality and customer satisfaction, you can rest assured that these air fresheners are designed with your needs in mind.
In summary, Rose Cottage's large 12 pack lily closet air deodorizer is a fantastic choice for anyone looking to bring a touch of elegance and freshness to their home.

🔗Aromatic Rosemary Sachets for Closet Fragrance

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I couldn't resist trying these Joanssore rosemary sachets when I caught wind of their rave reviews. The smell of fresh, dried rosemary filled my closet, transforming it from a dusty corner to a welcoming haven. The vibrant color of the sachets is a plus, adding a touch of elegance to my drawers and closets.
Something I noticed, though, is that the strong scent of rosemary might be overpowering for some, making me feel slightly lightheaded. However, the company assures customers that they follow the best practices in their sachets, so I'll keep an eye on the potency and adjust accordingly.
While I can't say I've used these as a gift yet, they've certainly become a favorite of mine for personal home use. Every time I open my closet, the smell of rosemary takes me to a place of calm and relaxation. Overall, it's a small luxury that has made a big difference in my daily life.

🔗Fresh Scented Sachets for Closets and Drawers

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I've been using MYARO Scented Sachets in my home for a few weeks now, and let me tell you, they've been a game-changer. The set includes 4 lavender, 4 ocean, and 4 cedar wood sachets, all packed in a convenient 12-pack. I love how they're made with natural, organic quality vermiculite and high-quality fragrance oils - I can truly appreciate the thought that went into creating these lovely scents.
One thing I really appreciate is the fact that the sachets are infused with a long-lasting scent. I had one in my car for over a week now, and the fragrance still lingers. It's such a hassle-free way to keep my room smelling fresh and welcoming. Plus, they've helped me a lot in eliminating any unpleasant odors around my home.
Of course, not everything is perfect. While these sachets are incredibly versatile and can be used for a variety of purposes (as they've cleverly pointed out), I found myself struggling a bit with putting them in small, confined spaces. However, despite that tiny inconvenience, I'd say these MYARO Scented Sachets have definitely made a difference in my home life. They're perfect for a quick pick-me-up, whether it's for my closet or a tired room, and their pleasant, long-lasting scents have been a real treat to experience.
Overall, I'd say these MYARO Scented Sachets are definitely worth considering if you're looking for a hassle-free, natural way to freshen up your home without breaking the bank. They're so versatile, you can even gift them to your loved ones to spread the love (and maybe a bit of the scent too).

🔗Fragrance-Free Odor Eliminator Gel for Closets Lasts up to 4 months

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In my quest for a fragrance-free deodorizer that could tackle my musty closet, I stumbled upon the airBOSS Closet Odor Neutralizing Gel. It's no secret that our closets hold some of our most beloved belongings, but they often harbor some less-than-lovely smells as well. This product promised to tackle the odor from mold, mildew, tobacco, perspiration, and even shoes, and with a time frame of up to 4 months, I was intrigued to say the least.
Upon opening the container, I was immediately greeted by the neutral scent, which was a pleasant surprise. It's a welcome change from the overwhelming fragrances that some deodorizers come with. The gel was thick, but applied easily to the corners of my closet. I was eager to see if it could live up to the hype.
The airBOSS Closet Odor Neutralizing Gel worked wonders on my closet. It absorbed the musty odor that had been lingering for months, leaving behind a fresh scent. However, it was a bit of a bulky package, as I received it in a plastic jar instead of the style shown in the picture. This added a bit of extra space-taking in my closet, but it was a minor inconvenience.
Overall, the airBOSS Closet Odor Neutralizing Gel did its job and neutralized the odor in my closet. The fragrance-free aspect was a plus and the gel lasted for months, making it a worthwhile investment. But the extra bulk in packaging was a bit of a downer. Nevertheless, it's a product that gets the job done and keeps my closet smelling fresh.

🔗Enhance Your Home with MYARO Scented Sachets for Long-Lasting Fragrance

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Recently, I've been using the MYARO 12 Packs Sandalwood Scented Sachets for Drawer and Closet, and it's been a truly pleasant experience. The sachets are made using top-quality essential oil from France, which helps spread a delightful fragrance around my home.
One of the great things about these sachets is their versatility. I placed them in my shoe box and was amazed at how effectively they eliminated the sweaty and stinky smell. Similarly, hanging them on my clothes has allowed my lover to enjoy the wonderful fragrance when they get closer to me.
These sachets are not only great for freshening up my home but also make fantastic gifts. When someone receives a MYARO scented sachet, their surprise and excitement are palpable. You can also place them in your drawer to have the pleasant scent linger slowly.
While traveling, I've found these sachets to be particularly helpful in masking the exhausting smell of gasoline in my car. I've also noticed a significant improvement in my sleep quality when I place the sachets near my pillow. The sweet smell helps me relax and sleep more soundly.
To make my life even more aromatic, I often add these sachets in places like my office, guest room, toilet, and fitness bag. It not only freshens up these spaces but also makes them feel more pleasant and welcoming.
With the MYARO scented sachets, you can choose among various fragrances like Lavender, Rose, Jasmine, and Ocean. Each sachet offers a unique blend of scents, making it suitable for different moods and preferences.
Overall, the MYARO 12 Packs Sandalwood Scented Sachets for Drawer and Closet are a fantastic investment for anyone looking to bring a touch of elegance and freshness into their home and enhance their daily experiences.

🔗Scented Air Fresheners for Small Spaces

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I recently tried out the Renuzit Pure Breeze Pet Air Fresheners, and I must say, they really did a great job in keeping my home smelling fresh and clean. These cones are perfect for small spaces like bathrooms and closets, and they released a pleasant scent that was just the right balance between fresh and subtle.
One thing that really stood out to me was their adjustable fragrance levels. I could easily control the intensity of the scent, which was perfect for my preference. Additionally, these cones are easy to use - just turn them upside down when they run out of fragrance, and it's effortless to see when they need to be replaced.
However, I've noticed that their scent tends to weaken over time. It used to last up to three weeks, but now it doesn't even last three days. I would've appreciated if it lasted longer, as it would mean fewer replacements and more savings.
Still, I recommend the Renuzit Pure Breeze Pet Air Fresheners to anyone looking for a simple yet effective way to keep their home smelling fresh. They're affordable and easy to use, plus they help control odors without overpowering the room with an overwhelming scent.

Buyer's Guide

A well-maintained closet not only offers a better space for organizing clothes and accessories but also makes a positive impact on the overall indoor air quality. A quality air freshener in your closet works to neutralize bad odors and contribute to a healthier living environment. However, with a broad array of options available in the market, selecting the most suitable closet air freshener can be a bit daunting. This buyer's guide provides essential information to make an informed decision and help you find the right air freshener for your closet.
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Odor Neutralization Capacity

One of the first things to consider when purchasing a closet air freshener is its effectiveness in neutralizing bad odors. Look for products that employ natural and safe ingredients like essential oils, activated carbon, or baking soda to absorb and eliminate odor-causing agents. These materials are eco-friendly and safe for use in closed spaces, ensuring that the air in your closet stays fresh and pleasant.

Room Size and Duration of Refresh

Closet air fresheners work best when their coverage matches the size of the room where they are placed. Therefore, it's essential to consider the volume of your closet space and ensure that the chosen air freshener can effectively cover the area. Also, pay attention to the package information and find out how long the air freshener releases a pleasant scent. A convenient duration will provide sufficient time for you to freshen up your closet while keeping the scent pleasant.
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Ease of Use and Maintenance

An air freshener that requires minimal effort for installation and maintenance is the best choice for busy households. Look for options that are easy to place and don’t need frequent replacement. Also, consider whether you prefer a refillable or disposable air freshener, depending on your preference and convenience.

Eco-Friendly and Sustainable Choices

Staying eco-conscious is an important aspect for many buyers during the purchasing process. When choosing a closet air freshener, look for products that are planet-friendly and contain biodegradable ingredients. Additionally, opt for a recyclable or reusable container so that your purchase not only freshens up your closet but also contributes to a cleaner and healthier planet.
By taking the factors mentioned into consideration, you will be able to find the perfect closet air freshener to keep your space fresh, odor-free, and inviting. Remember that each product has its unique features, so consider your individual requirements and preferences for a truly satisfying shopping experience.
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FAQ

How do closet air fresheners work?

Closet air fresheners work by releasing fragrances into the air, which can help mask unpleasant odors and create a more pleasant environment. Some air fresheners use natural scents, while others may use synthetic fragrances. These products can be found in a variety of forms, such as spray bottles, plug-ins, or gel dispensers, which release fragrance over time.
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Are there any natural closet air fresheners available?

Yes, there are many natural closet air fresheners available on the market. These products often use essential oils, plant extracts, or natural fragrance blends. Some popular natural air fresheners include baking soda, vinegar, lemon, and other citrus fruits.

What are the benefits of using closet air fresheners?

  • Mask unpleasant odors, such as those caused by pets, smoke, or mold
  • Create a pleasant environment by releasing fragrances
  • Help control dust mites and other allergens
  • Provide a more inviting atmosphere for guests

How long do I need to use the product for it to be effective?

The effectiveness of air fresheners can vary based on the product and usage. In general, it is recommended to use the product regularly (e. g. , every day or every other day) for best results. Some air fresheners may require more frequent use, while others may last longer.

What are some tips for finding the right closet air freshener for my needs?

  1. Consider the size of your closet and the level of humidity in your area
  2. Look for air fresheners that target specific odors, such as pet odor or cigarette smoke
  3. Evaluate the fragrance options and choose one that appeals to your preferences
  4. Check the reviews and ratings to get an idea of the overall effectiveness and customer satisfaction
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