Retirement tribute speech for a parent

Has anybody had family treat them worse after ADHD diagnosis? My marriage has been struggling, basically I did 90% of the parenting, cooking, 60% of the cleaning, much of the planning for 3-4 years while she finished her education. It wasn’t necessary education, because she had a FT job, but used $10k of retirement savings and lost about $70-80k income to get it - and it will maybe break us even if she doesn’t retire early. Anyhow, I have ADHD so you can guess I’m not the strongest planner but we got by. Once she got her cert I thought we could ‘find us’ again and boy was I wrong! during a couples therapy session the councillor suggested adhd for me and I took the questionaire and sure enough there it was. Thing is, she’s been even worse to me since then. Not supportive, belittling, etc. I would say I’ve had a mental breakdown block against crying for years, probably unhealthy…but this woman has made me sob a few times this month alone. Any tips on overcoming this?

General question mostly aimed at parents who grew up elsewhere and now live and raise kids in the US. I think we can all agree childhood especially early childhood is a special time. Back home got us a baby is a baby until age 4. Primarily because emotional regulation and still wanting to cling to parents is a thing. Most breastfeeding goes until 4 or 5 as well in my culture. My toddler still nurses periodically and is almost 3. He is tall and has a mouthful of teeth so yes it weirds people out but I don’t care. He will stop eventually. We also bedshare and have since birth as is common practice in my culture. It has not affected intimacy in my marriage and my husband (who is American and white) loves it too. He said he wishes his parents had let him.
My 4 siblings and I all bedshared on and off until we were 7. Mostly usually only moving out when a new baby moved in but mom and dad never said no. My parents are very happily married still and we’re all close. When I first had my baby here I remember being excited but then a good chuck of the literature is about sleeping through the night and all by themselves, self soothing and they mustn’t be too “dependent”. Our first pediatrician was very aggressive about not bedsharing and sleep training so we switched to a nurse practitioner who was from the Philippines who started her own practice who was very supportive in our choices.
The emphasis on milestones is also very overwhelming. Yes I know they are important and I don’t dismiss them but I also know children develop at their own pace when there are no significant delays or problems.
I’m thankful my mom was able to be with me for the first 6 months after our son was born to guide me through the traditional home way because I was really stressed. Also appreciate that my husband deferred to our tribal method of child rearing vs a western approach.
Add: I am not bashing at all. There are lots of wonderful resources and books I have and am reading about my toddler now but some concepts do seem foreign to me having been raised and seen my siblings being raised a certain way. I also do notice that I am often told that I am shielding or babying my son when I am honestly just deferring to his cues as it relates to things that we do at home. I don’t force chores or schedules for example and he can do some basic things. But if he won’t or can’t or doesn’t want to in a moment I do it for him because he is little. He’s not even 3. He’s no where near ready for all the independence my mother in law thinks he should have and I do let him try when he is open and able and wanting to. I just don’t see why there’s such a massive rush for all these things. For sleeping through the night, for reading, for perfect speech, for getting dressed properly all by himself and doing chores etc. my mom did what I am doing with all 5 of us and we’re all highly functional human beings. Heck by western standards she straight up babied my brother until he was 7 (he nursed until he was 5 and had a hard time giving it up but he was starting preschool lol) and he’s an OB who adores his wife and is helpful around the house.
If these early years are so important for me they are important in attachment and bonding and security, in the comfort of mom and dad being there no matter what. Not for reading and following instructions and being a perfect sleeper and eater etc. they are only little for 4 years.
Curious to hear from other non American parents what their experiences have been like?

my older brother is in the military and my parents are so proud of him. they facetime him every week, tell him they're so proud and that they love him, always tell me about the benefits he's getting. my dad is constantly watching yt videos about the military, he raves about how much he's helping the family, how he's getting free edu, how he'll retire early, how he's so much better of a person now. my brother is being trained in the medical field, even if it wasn't what he wanted as a career, he was just assigned it.
i,19f, told them i wanted to go to nursing school and they both encouraged me to join the military so i could get it for free. i considered it. my worst mistake was saying that id join too and then retracting. which led to more resentment from them.
i think a large part of it is cause we dont have money. but i put myself in the best position for nursing school; accepted into an accelerated bsn program, im transferring all ge's so i could go to school for less time/ money, my credit score is good to get a lower interest, im working and do scholarships nearly everyday. i made sure to make the cost as low as possible. i even went to a cc so i paid nothing from textbooks, food, classes, etc. im not sure im wrong to think that parents should pay for their child edu, but i pay for gas, a car, internet, groceries with my income from a min wage job.
i have always worked harder than my brother in school. its something we agreed on, he told me himself that he didn't like school. it was between my brother and i to decide who goes to the military to help my parents with immigration. he ended up going because he told me he saw more potential in me and that i really cared about my edu. so he put off months of his life at basic and tech school so i could continue to make a career for myself.
don't get me wrong, i am just as proud. i love my brother and i think what he's doing is awesome.
i wish my parents would say they loved me and tell me they were just as proud. i feel like i have to graduate from nursing school for them to feel the same. but i know that my accomplishments will always be less; because i didn't do basic training, i didn't get school for free, i didn't help with immigration. i just want to hear they're proud of me and the work i put in. but im guessing the traditional route is not something to be proud of because im not standing out from the rest. there's no bragging rights in saying that your daughter is doing something everybody else is doing. i wish my parents loved me as much as they loved my brother, i wish they were an ounce as proud of me.

M35 , due to some health issue I wanted to take retirement from business.
There is Zero inheritance of property or anything , I have no secondary source of income. For future Will try YouTube or /and stock market or some WFH business but not sure If I will ever be able to generate income from these or through any medium. I don’t want to risk my accumulated corpus in stock market . If I lose then survival would be impossible.
I know 3.3 cr is nothing in today’s time , I have to sacrifice at every steps of my life .
So decided to send my kid to a government school , had dream to send my child to city’s top school , I did not wanted him to have same fate as mine .I am the only child , studied in a tier 3 city’s municipal school and in a tier 3 engineering college. I have to take care of my parents they are 60+ . Thankfully by god grace father is a pensioner . his pension can manage 30% of our home expense and we have purchased a small independent home recently worth 1.2 Cr in gated community. Sometimes I thought this purchase is a financial blunder to my retirement plan but it’s an asset for my kid .
Anyway to calculate swr , our Monthly family expenses is 1 lakh per month or around 11-12 lakh per annum which includes health insurance premiums .
If nothing works I want this corpus to support our survival lifetime . Should I have to adjust and cut our expenses below 2.5% for safety ?

I’ve been volunteering with foster children (tutoring) for the past year and a half, read three books about fostering, trauma, and adoptive parenting, and in general thinking about how our (me and husband’s) life would change if we adopted or fostered.
We’ve come to the decision to adopt (I want some permanency with a child). We still want to wait a year or so, so we can travel a bit, knowing that our lives will change drastically with a child.
In the meantime, other than reading more books (I’m a big reader lol) how should I prepare for this change? I’ve reached out to the agency I volunteer with for advice and referrals.
Also, I’m not wanting a newborn exclusively, but is the age range of 0-6 reasonable? I realize that I'll likely get older, which I'm cool with. I’m just not sure how to structure with our timeline. We will not be doing private adoption due to cost, I had a friend pay $75K and though I have $75K it is earmarked for retirement.
I feel very prepared on what to expect (knowing that what I expect will be blow out of the water at some point). Any advice or resources would be very helpful.

• Shopping hours are limited, with most shops and pharmacies closing by 5 or 6 pm. 24/7 pharmacies are rare.
• Public schools mandate LGBTQ+ education, leading some Dutch parents to opt for homeschooling or religious schools instead.
• LGBTQ+ rights are legally protected and supported by taxpayer funds.
• Prostitution is legal, with taxpayer funds supporting related services. Adult stores and explicit product shops are commonly found in public areas.
• Marijuana is legal and taxpayer funds support this as well.
• Public urination is common, causing many streets, parking lots, elevators, corners, and stations to smell.
• Public toilets are paid, often dirty and smelly, and lack water jet sprays (Muslim showers).
• Pet dogs frequently defecate on streets, sidewalks, and grass, and sometimes sit on public benches and transport seats.
• Finding accommodation and general practitioners is challenging.
• Medical care is criticized for not being taken seriously unless in severe cases, with reports of negligence. It is not free despite high taxes.
• Public stations are often not clean, with some being particularly smelly, especially elevators, corners, and staircases.
• Taxpayer money funds the salaries and expenses of the Dutch royal family, with their budget exceeding €600,000.
• Not all public streets, sidewalks, stations, or parking areas are as clean as expected.
• The weather is often unfavorable, with frequent changes between cloudy, rainy, windy, and sunny conditions within the same day.
• The crime rate is higher than expected, including incidents of murder, rape, sexual harassment, robbery, bombing of shops, and fraud. For evidence, read news in English on nltimes.nl or other legitimate sources.
• The judicial system is slow and legal fees are high, with lenient punishments.
• Taxpayer money supports Israel.
• There is limited freedom of speech or peaceful protesting regarding Palestine. Dutch police have been reported to use violence against protesters, including women.
• For annual gross salaries above €75,518, the income tax rate is 49.50%.
• The 30% ruling for newcomers has changed to a plan where taxes increase gradually over five years.
• Mortgages and pensions involve interest.
• Dual citizenship is not allowed.
• The language exam requirement is increasing from A2 to B1.
• The standard term for naturalization is being extended from 5 to 10 years.
• The cost of living is very high, including garments, cars, parking, groceries, utilities, rent, public transport, and dining out.
• Bicycle and electric scooter theft is common.
• Theft of valuables from parked cars is increasing.
• Sales tax will increase from 9% to 21% on some items.
• The Russia-Ukraine war has significantly impacted the Netherlands, leading to a higher cost of living.
• There is a noticeable smell of marijuana and beer in public streets.
• Vandalism and public nuisance increase during football matches, affecting public transport, stations, and some streets.
• Many neighborhoods become very noisy on Friday and Saturday nights.
• Traffic jams are becoming more frequent.
• Taxes are often perceived as wasted on unnecessary projects and international funding.
• The Dutch military supports countries like the USA and Israel, which are accused of causing civilian casualties in Africa, the Middle East, and Asia, funded by taxpayers.
• While many people speak English, not everyone does, and official correspondence is not always in English. Customer support via phone is often only available in Dutch.
• Owning a car is very expensive.
• The Netherlands has no mountains, only flat land.
• There are very few public holidays.
• Dutch cuisine is considered bland, and dining out is generally expensive and not highly regarded in terms of taste.
• There is a constant financial stress with lower purchasing power, forcing most families to live minimally unless both spouses have high incomes or benefit from the 30% ruling.
• Dutch bureaucracy is often criticized for being inefficient and sometimes unfair.
• Permanent residence for parents is not allowed, and they can only visit for up to 3 months in a 6-month period.
• Xenophobia and rude directness are sometimes issues.
• Not everything is digitized; many processes are still done traditionally.

Hi everyone,
I’m reaching out to this amazing community for some advice regarding my parents’ retirement finances. It has been a challenging experience. They recently sold their property and now have R1,3M that they need to invest to generate an annual income of R150K. They are both retired and rely on this income for their living expenses.
A bit of background:

• My parents are South African citizens.
• They need a stable and reliable source of income.
• They are not very risk-tolerant and prefer safer investment options.

Given the current economic climate and investment options available, I would love to hear your thoughts on the following:
What are the best investment strategies or vehicles they should consider to achieve this annual income goal? Are there any specific funds, ETFs, or bonds you would recommend?
Would it be beneficial for them to consider offshore investments especially with elections around the corner? Has anyone had any issues with situs tax in the US?
Are living annuities a good option in this scenario? To my knowledge as these are discretionary funds they would not be able to open a living annuity. If anyone has experience with these, especially in the South African context, your insights would be greatly appreciated.
I want to ensure they make the most informed decision possible and maximize their retirement income while keeping their investments secure. Any advice, personal experiences, or resources you could share would be greatly appreciated.
We have reached out to some CFPs but none have returned our emails.
Thank you all in advance for your help!

Hello all!
My family and I recently lost our elderly Yorkshire Terrier, and I’ve been researching the best breed for a future prospect. Our Yorkie was 10 when we got her, and lived to 18.
I’m a sighthound lover but I don’t think they’d be best for my family’s wants and needs- although possibly a whippet. Also interested in wire dachshunds.
Introduction
1) Will this be your first dog? If not, what experience do you have owning/training dogs? This will be my family’s second dog, but I have worked with dogs for years in daycare, rescue and now grooming. I have a dog first aid certificate and a dog behaviour qualification, I’m pretty savvy.
2) Do you have a preference for rescuing a dog vs. going through a reputable breeder Open to rescue, feel a scruffy terrier mix could work but as my family aren’t as savvy I’d prefer very little reactivity and fearfulness which is rife with rescue dogs near me. Also, if I was opting for a Dachshund for example, I’d want to be sure it was raised in ways that will lessen chances of IVDD, and socialised properly, neutered after 1yo etc etc. So may depend on breed.
3) Describe your ideal dog. We’d like a happy, sociable dog who’s pretty biddable, able to go off lead and interested in some trick learning. Good off switch, happy with 1-2 hours adventuring a day and snoozing in the evenings, preferably not overly intense or drivey, and minimal prey drive. Preferably not brachy or bully.
4) What breeds or types of dogs are you interested in and why? I’d love a whippet for the family, but they prey drive and recall might be a barrier, and my dad isn’t a huge fan of their looks. I think a wire Dachshund would tick most boxes, but the health issues worry me! Working cocker could work, but a LOT of dog there! Same with a JRT. A poodle (mini or toy) would be amazing but the grooming upkeep is a lot!
5) What sorts of things would you like to train your dog to do? Lots of functional training - loose leash, settle, not door dashing etc, plus lots of fun party tricks essentially. I really enjoy teaching ‘play dead’ and things of that nature. Would love to do agility.
6) Do you want to compete with your dog in a sport (e.g. agility, obedience, rally) or use your dog for a form of work (e.g. hunting, herding, livestock guarding)? If so, how much experience do you have with this work/sport? Not experienced but I’d be interested in agility, dock diving, Confo.
Care Commitments 7) How long do you want to devote to training, playing with, or otherwise interacting with your dog each day? Training could be 10-60 mins, play time and enrichment as needed really. My parents are retired and quite old but pretty active, and can be home most of the day, the dog is also welcome to join me at the grooming shop where dogs would be in and out all day.
8) How long can you exercise your dog each day, on average? What sorts of exercise are you planning to give your dog regularly and does that include using a dog park? 1-2ish hours daily, walking, possibly agility/ dock diving, in England ‘dog parks’ aren’t really a thing, but pup would be likely to run into off leash dogs on walks.
9) How much regular brushing are you willing to do? Are you open to trimming hair, cleaning ears, or doing other grooming at home? If not, would you be willing to pay a professional to do it regularly? No double coats please! I’d rather it not be a dog with long hair that needs brushing every day or two- would much prefer a smooth or wire coat.
Personal Preferences 10) What size dog are you looking for? X Small to Medium.
11) How much shedding, barking, and slobber can you handle? Minimal shedding, minimal barking, no slobber! 🙈
12) How important is being able to let your dog off-leash in an unfenced area? Like 7/10 important, would be heavily preferred.
Dog Personality and Behavior 13) Do you want a snuggly dog or one that prefers some personal space? Snuggly and pretty Velcro but happy to be left alone.
14) Would you prefer a dog that wants to do its own thing or one that's more eager-to-please? Eager to please is preferable.
15) How would you prefer your dog to respond to someone knocking on the door or entering your yard? Not really, but happy to work on this in training. Not a huge deal one way or the other.
How would you prefer your dog to greet strangers or visitors? Anything from aloof to friendly.
16) Are you willing to manage a dog that is aggressive to other dogs? No.
17) Are there any other behaviors you can't deal with or want to avoid? 🤔
Lifestyle 18) How often and how long will the dog be left alone? Mostly this won’t be necessary, but they should be able to be alone comfortably. At most it’d likely be 3/4 hours or so.
19) What are the dog-related preferences of other people in the house and what will be their involvement in caring for the dog? Mostly like scruffy ungroomed things. I prefer sighthounds but again, probably not the best fit for everyone! Two brothers who mostly just want a fuss sometimes, parents who will do most of the walking and me who will be more on the grooming, training, activities side. I’m the youngest and I’m 26.
20) Do you have other pets or are you planning on having other pets? What breed or type of animal = they? I have two guinea pigs, but they may not be here when this happens. They’re locked in my room at almost all times.
21) Will the dog be interacting with children regularly? No.
22) Do you rent or plan to rent in the future? If applicable, what breed or weight restrictions are on your current lease? House is owned.
23) What city or country do you live in and are you aware of any laws banning certain breeds? South East England, the banned breeds are bully breeds.
24) What is the average temperature of a typical summer and winter day where you live? Summer 25-30Cish, winter 0-7ish?

I lived in various countries till I was 18 and I came back to my home country the same year and I'm living here up till now. I was raised in a family where my parents are both non-English speakers but me myself used English at school and with my friends. In casual talks, I'm okay with both. I am more comfortable studying and giving public speeches in English. Technically, if I go by order, English is my second language. But I started feel a discrepancy between my first language and my second language ever since I came back to my home country. I realized when it comes to academics English is my dominant language. So if I consider speaking both languages in both casual and formal settings, English would cover both while my first language would only cover the first case. But I am not quite familiar with idioms or colloquialism in English. I always identified myself as a native to my country and I am quite sure I also culturally align with my country as well. BUT I consider my language identity is English for I am more comfortable expressing and organizing thoughts. in it.
In an effort to seek an answer to this, I asked ChatGPT to evaluate my language proficiency of both languages. It said that based on the conversations we had for the past two days, it came to a conclusion that English is NOT my first language (ofc I shouldn't trust it completely). But the thing is that it made the judgement based on the fact that I spoke too formally and directly in a manner that native speakers wouldn't do in a casual conversation. But wouldn't the level of formality further prove that you are more proficient and fluent in that language? Do you think this is a valid reason to judge whether certain language is their mother tongue or not? As I mentioned in the earlier paragraph, I don't use many idiomatic expressions when I use English. But just because of that, does that make English my second language? What do you think?

Hello people,
My parents had bought 2 flats in India in 2014 (Not RERA registered, since RERA act was passed in 2016). The registration agreement promised us possession by 2016. The builder had 3 buildings (A, B and C wings of the same building in the same place) under construction at that time and had completed the construction of A and B wings of the flat and had given the possession to the buyers. We had bought 2 flats in the C wing of the apartment. The builder has not yet completed the construction of the flat. When tried to contact the builder, he initially started providing excuses that he had some delay in getting the raw materials and then COVID and then he just kept declining our calls. Later one day, when we got hold of him from someone else's phone, he asked us to complete the remaining construction work of our flat and get the possession ourselves. Now, I guess he has gone absconding as well.
It has been 10 years since we have been trying to get the possession of our flat or our money back. The rental agreement says if the builder delays the possession we are liable to receive some penalty amount. We don't even need any penalty amount, we are from a lower middle class family and would just like to get our hard earned money back. It is literally my dad's entire life savings that we have paid for this flat. He is over 60 now and he can't even afford to retire because he has lost his entire life savings.
Since this not RERA registered, I don't think we can register a complaint in RERA against him. Please give some suggestions as to what we can do to get our money back. Thanks in advance!

Ideological Foundation

• Individual Freedom & Natural Rights
  • Emphasis on individual liberties and natural rights.
  • Minimal government interference in personal lives and domestic issues
  • Domestically, the role of government ought to be to protect citizens' rights to life, liberty, and private property
• National Sovereignty & Populism
  • Strong focus on national security, national interests, and American exceptionalism; national sovereignty and self-sufficiency
• Fiscal Conservatism
  • Commitment to balanced budgets and reducing national debt
  • Low taxes and minimal government spending, fostering a free-market economy
  • Spending should be focused solely on essential functions that protect citizens' rights and national security/sovereignty, namely national defense, border security, law and justice system, infrastructure, and childhood education.
• Rugged Individualism and Loyalty
  • Embrace self-reliance, toughness, and personal responsibility
  • Loyalty to family and close allies, valuing trust and loyalty above all

​
Policy Viewpoints

• Economic Policy
  • Free Market Principles: Promote a free-market economy with minimal regulation, reducing bureaucratic red tape to encourage entrepreneurship and innovation
  • Taxation: Implement low tax rates to spur economic growth and investment. Simplify the tax code to make it fairer and more efficient
  • Government Spending: Limit government spending, focusing on essential services. Reduce waste and ensure fiscal responsibility to lower the national debt
• Foreign Policy
  • Non-Interventionism: Avoid unnecessary foreign entanglements and military interventions. Focus on diplomacy and trade relations that benefit national interests.
  • Defense: Maintain a strong national defense to protect sovereignty but avoid being the world’s policeman. Prioritize defense spending efficiently.
  • Trade: prioritize domestic industries and local jobs, utilize protectionist policies when advantageous to protect them.
• Domestic Policy
  • Individual Liberties: Protect individual rights, including freedom of speech, religion, and privacy. Oppose government surveillance and overreach.
  • Justice System: Ensure a fair and swift justice system. Advocate for criminal justice reform to reduce over-incarceration and emphasize rehabilitation.
  • Property Rights: Strong protection of property rights, ensuring individuals can own and use their property without undue government interference.
• Immigration & Border Policy
  • Secured Borders: Implement strong border security measures to prevent illegal immigration and protect national sovereignty. Deport any and all illegal immigrants. Hold the countries these illegals are coming from accountable for the costs and burdens illegal immigration causes, if feasible.
  • Legal Immigration: Allow legal immigration but make it far more merit-based and prioritize the well-being of the nation and its current citizens. Immigrants must be able to be self-sufficient and support themselves, raise their families, and assimilate not so much to our culture but to our national values and principles.
• Healthcare
  • Market-Based Solutions: Encourage competition in the healthcare market to lower costs and improve quality. Oppose a single-payer system or excessive government control. Remove useless, harmful regulations.
  • Transparency: all providers must charge transparent, non-discriminatory, publicly available prices for all services. Also, consumer choice.
• Education
  • School Choice: Support school choice initiatives, including charter schools and voucher programs, to provide parents with options and improve educational outcomes.
  • Local Control: Advocate for local control of education, reducing federal government involvement and allowing communities to tailor education to their needs.
• Environmental Policy
  • Conservation: Promote conservation efforts that protect natural resources while allowing for responsible use and development. Balance environmental protection with economic growth.
  • Innovation: Encourage technological innovation to address environmental challenges, rather than heavy-handed regulation.
• Trade Policy
  • Fair Trade: Implement trade policies that ensure fair competition and protect American jobs. Use tariffs selectively to counteract unfair trade practices.
  • Economic Nationalism: Prioritize trade deals that benefit the American economy and workers, fostering self-sufficiency and reducing reliance on foreign production.

I'm a 25 asian male who lives with his parents. I currently have plans to pursue dental school. I've worked in dentistry while preparing my application in dental school. For the past few years, I've only been making 80k/yr (I live in a HCOL so this isn't as much as it seems) living with my parents to save money. After 6 years of investing in the market, I saved a fair amount which was enough to not need to contribute to retirement accounts (coastFIRE for anyone part of the FIRE community haha) and still retire comfortably early at 50. This was a huge goal of mine and I thought I'd be happy once I reached this- this freed up my saving to allow me to buy whatever I wanted but it turns out there's not really many things I want in life. I've spent most of my past years saving every penny to invest in the future, and that future is finally here. And yet, I'm not happy in life.
My goals when I was younger were just to buy whatever video game I wanted and order UberEats whenever I wanted. The problem is I'm on a diet trying to get lean so I meal prep everything which I already outsource. I tried ubering everywhere but I felt very uncomfortable with other people driving me around so I drive or my boyfriend drives me. I thought I'd be happy buying a Tesla but it turns out EV charging is very annoying + Teslas are very annoying to work with so I ended up not getting one after borrowing my friend's. I also thought about getting a luxury apartment nearby that's 4k/month but its honestly less convenient than living at home as I'm a few minutes away from work...The "solutions" to spending more money just end up creating more problems. I've bought a bunch of lululemon to augment my wardrobe, finally got a new phone after 8 years, upgraded to Tmobile from Mint, got a new laptop, basically bought a bunch of material stuff I've been staying away from. I went on a few flights and decided to just buy business class tickets for the fun of it and yes, it was nice, but my day to day happiness is still pretty low.
I also received a massive inheritance that basically means I don't have to work if I don't want to. The obvious question is well why don't you just quit your job? Well...I still really want to achieve my goal of trying to become a dentist and to do that, I need support of dentists to back my application which is why I still go to my job. I also really do love my work/patient interactions and work in a good environment, and something about having the freedom to say "Fuck you I quit" whenever I want makes my job a lot more enjoable. In the future, my goal is to become a part time dentist and treat my friends/family for free/charity cases, and spend the rest of my time with my kids/family/hobbies. There's also a great deal of pressure from my parents to become a dentist- they know financially I'm set (and by extension them as I've managed their portfolio for many years with great success), but this doesn't matter as I'm still not a dentist.
While I'm sure this sounds like a great problem to have, I just don't understand why I'm not happy in life. I think it's because I'm still not yet in dental school/a dentist whereas all my friends are successful in their careers but maybe there's more? I do want to get a therapist but I don't even know what I'd talk about. I know exactly how I sound: I have so much money and I don't know how to spend it wow and I"m not happy. Like jesus what a douche- this is also why I can't share this with my friends, because they'll just think I'm being a dick. Any advice?

I'm a 25 asian male who lives with his parents. I currently have plans to pursue dental school. I've worked in dentistry while preparing my application in dental school. For the past few years, I've only been making 80k/yr (I live in a HCOL so this isn't as much as it seems) living with my parents to save money. After 6 years of investing in the market, I saved a fair amount which was enough to not need to contribute to retirement accounts (coastFIRE for anyone part of the FIRE community haha) and still retire comfortably early at 50. This was a huge goal of mine and I thought I'd be happy once I reached this- this freed up my saving to allow me to buy whatever I wanted but it turns out there's not really many things I want in life. I've spent most of my past years saving every penny to invest in the future, and that future is finally here. And yet, I'm not happy in life.
My goals when I was younger were just to buy whatever video game I wanted and order UberEats whenever I wanted. The problem is I'm on a diet trying to get lean so I meal prep everything which I already outsource. I tried ubering everywhere but I felt very uncomfortable with other people driving me around so I drive or my boyfriend drives me. I thought I'd be happy buying a Tesla but it turns out EV charging is very annoying + Teslas are very annoying to work with so I ended up not getting one after borrowing my friend's. I also thought about getting a luxury apartment nearby that's 4k/month but its honestly less convenient than living at home as I'm a few minutes away from work...The "solutions" to spending more money just end up creating more problems. I've bought a bunch of lululemon to augment my wardrobe, finally got a new phone after 8 years, upgraded to Tmobile from Mint, got a new laptop, basically bought a bunch of material stuff I've been staying away from. I went on a few flights and decided to just buy business class tickets for the fun of it and yes, it was nice, but my day to day happiness is still pretty low.
I also received a massive inheritance that basically means I don't have to work if I don't want to. The obvious question is well why don't you just quit your job? Well...I still really want to achieve my goal of trying to become a dentist and to do that, I need support of dentists to back my application which is why I still go to my job. I also really do love my work/patient interactions and work in a good environment, and something about having the freedom to say "Fuck you I quit" whenever I want makes my job a lot more enjoable. In the future, my goal is to become a part time dentist and treat my friends/family for free/charity cases, and spend the rest of my time with my kids/family/hobbies. There's also a great deal of pressure from my parents to become a dentist- they know financially I'm set (and by extension them as I've managed their portfolio for many years with great success), but this doesn't matter as I'm still not a dentist.
While I'm sure this sounds like a great problem to have, I just don't understand why I'm not happy in life. I think it's because I'm still not yet in dental school/a dentist whereas all my friends are successful in their careers but maybe there's more? I do want to get a therapist but I don't even know what I'd talk about. I know exactly how I sound: I have so much money and I don't know how to spend it wow and I"m not happy. Like jesus what a douche- this is also why I can't share this with my friends, because they'll just think I'm being a dick. Any advice?

im starting to realize that there's something wrong with me. I've always thought that i was normal and whatever and everyone just hates me for no reason but know im starting to feel it. I've noticed that i'm honestly super materialistic and selfish and i dont really care about people who arent relevant to me. It's to the point my brain never even bothered to remember their faces or name or anything unless again theyre relevant. Another big thing i noticed is that I dont love anyone? I'm not talking only romantically, but also like in a familial sense. My parents? Meh. They could leave me for a long vacation and not call and i wouldn't care, my only concern would be who would feed me. My grandma? Sure, I like her she's the best. But do I love her..? I don't know. As a child, I went to several funerals of family members I knew and i remember myself thinking "so what? it's so hot in here theres no point why cant we just stay home theyre dead anyways" and mind u I was 9. I KNOW there's something super wrong with me but i can't put my finger on the specifcs. Do i want to think this way? No. But i can't help it. I've also never cared for helping out people or whatever and just donate to cancer researches cuz thats whats morally expect of me and everyone else. I never cared to cry during sad speeches and school cuz "what the fuck that gotta do with me?" i'm honestly starting to hate myself. Or is that why i'm forcing myself to think? Am I typing this because Im actually upset with myself or is it because i feel like i'm going against the norm and need to fix myself for my own good? I don't know. i've thought about maybe seeking professional help but idk, my parents are the traditional asian type and anything mental health is considered "crazy" and i've never told them either. I know they notice these things about me, they bring it subtly sometimes but label it was "extreme selfishness". How do i tell the people who brought me up that i don't and never have loved them? I don't want another annoying session of them screaming at me and crying cuz it honestly makes me so irritated and my lack of a reaction would only drag it longer. Is faking the only path I could go? Should i just pretend everything?

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Edited by WaveOfWire
- - - - -
Two days… It had been two days that Tracy had gone to sleep while Harrison was working, only to come back in the morning to see him still in the workshop. She knew he was damn productive, sure, but that really couldn’t be healthy. Apparently, it had something to do with the weird bowl of orange… soup… that Cera gave him. No way was it just caffeine; any amount of the stuff would have been filtered out of his system by now. He mentioned a tingling feeling too…
Damn, she did not know enough about drugs to even start assuming what that massive alien had Harrison fucked up on. At least the scanner said he was ‘fine’—if you ignore the other glaring issues the machine brought up. Plus, he said he didn’t mind it. Either way, he managed to complete the weaving component and a few other electrical backbones of the fabricator last night, so the project was practically done, and after seeing the engineer work himself half to death, she was dead-set on finishing it.
She was currently tits-deep into the upper manufacturing portion of the towering machine. It took a tall step-stool—on top of the nearby desk—for her to push her small shoulders through the even smaller access panels high on the everything-printer. It was difficult to fit her torso in, but she managed, holding a flashlight between her teeth as she fiddled with a stubborn series of mechanical ‘hands.’ Nothing new. The situation reminded her of the ‘shop back on Mars; it had the same ever-present scent of copper and industrial sealant. All that was missing was her dad’s ancient tunes blasting through some shitty speakers… Hold on…
The modular component in her grip was successfully attached with a resonating thock. Tracy squirmed out of the dim wire-filled crevice, trying her best to not rip her only tank-top on any bolts or corners, and getting a face-full of the bright flood-lights illuminating the workshop. She scowled and blocked out the searing light with a hand, but she was a bit too late to avoid going half-blind.
“Are the mechanical manipulators in?” Harrison grunted, poking his head out underneath the printer’s floor-adjacent maintenance hatch. She looked down at him as she tried to blink off the spots in her vision. His hair was messy, barely kept in line by his habit of combing through it with his fingers. The areas around his eyes were dark and sunken… Guess that’s what two all-nighters did to a man. He’d be seeing the hat man or start hallucinating if he didn’t get any sleep soon… but then again, the two of them were so close to finishing the fabricator…
“You bet.” She gave him a thumbs up, slamming the panel cover closed. “Feel free to test it.”
He nodded and slid back underneath the machine. “Gotcha”
She gently stepped off the stool and slid off the side of the desk, stretching herself out. If her piss-poor sitting posture or her tank-top puppies hadn’t already fucked her spine up, bending over backward to build this fabricator sure as hell would. She sat down next to the panel where Harrison resided, resting her back against the fabrication tower. Her excited voice broke the muffled noises of the engineer’s work. “So… Harrison?”
“Hmm—”
“—Mind if I play some music?”
The sounds from the hatch stopped, followed by his muffled, shocked tone echoing from beneath the fabricator. “You have music!?”
She smirked at seeing the expression on his face when his head popped out again. “I sure do… Did you seriously not download any to your data pad?”
He slipped out from beneath the fabricator fully, huffing as he took a knee beside her. The scent of melded rubber, wire, and his liquid labor reached her nose not-so-unpleasantly. “You would not believe how much of a pain it is to repair an entire barracks without it… So, yeah, I didn’t.”
“Sooooooooo, whatcha wanna listen to? I’ve got almost everything on here—besides the super niche, of course.” She pulled her data pad out, swiping to the massive music folder
“You wouldn’t like the kinda music I listen to; It’s ancient.”
She gave him a lighthearted, annoyed glare. “Welcome to the club… Now what’ll it be?”
“It’s Old Earth kind of ancient… but alright” He looked up at the ceiling in thought, lips pursed. “Do you have anything from Styx or Sweet?”
She stared at him incredulously, her smirk turning into a fully-fledged smile. “Oh my God. You are an absolute dork! You actually listen to Golden Age music?”
His brows raised, accusatory. “And you somehow know exactly who those bands were and what age of Old Earth music they came from?”
She smugly leaned in closer. “That’s because I’m just as much of a nerd with that kinda music as you apparently are.” She quickly looked upward, addressing the workshop AI. “Sebas, connect nearby speakers to my data pad’s audio.” Tracy elbowed the engineer lightly as the PA system chirped its affirmation. “Now, Mr. Golden Age music, which albums do ya want me to queue up?”
- - - - -
The two of them listened to music for hours, tossing on songs they liked as they came to mind while they worked. Harrison had a ton of recommendations that spanned all over the Golden Ages and some twenty-first century classics. She didn’t even know half of them, but she was vibing either way, adding on her own taste by intermingling some older rock tracks and newer electronic beats. The playlist was steadily built up as the day went on. Thank God her dad showed her a vast array of tunes; she might not have been able to keep up with the engineer if her old man hadn't.
It made the work go by so fast, their conversations blurring as they jumped from topic to topic. They discussed whatever came to mind—old hobbies, old jobs, and old interests. A lot was left behind in Sol… At least she knew that the only other human on the planet was more interesting than a soulless workaholic. It turned out that he was a pretty big history buff, and he apparently read a lot about the colonization of the Sol system and the various wars of independence thereafter. Curious, she asked where the interest stemmed from, and he explained that his grandfather was an admiral in the Slavic-Europan deep-ice submarine fleet, which explained how Harrison’s mother was able to afford to immigrate to Mars from Europa.
He could also play an acoustic guitar, and, unfortunately for Tracy, he wasn’t even the slightest bit interested in printing one out, citing that it was a waste of time and material that would be better used elsewhere. That didn’t stop her from writing a note on her data pad to do so later, though. She hadn’t seen someone play one of those in years—the last time was probably in some old music video from the early twenty-second century. What a shame. She would have liked to hear some of the Europan songs his grandmother taught him.
On the bright side, the man seemed to take an interest in her odd hobbies. He brought up the folder of 3D models that she accidentally uploaded to the inter-module system and asked where she got the inspiration for what was in it. Boy, was he not ready for her ‘WarHalberd40k’ lore dump. Props to the guy for not standing up and leaving the workshop throughout her rambling. He even asked questions about the different factions and their weapons, which she was more than happy to talk about.
She also ended up going over the other franchises and hobbies she was interested in, such as robotics and the like. The only interruptions to their chat were the occasional Akula or Craftsman asking for insight regarding the various tasks he had allotted to them, or Shar coming in to check up on Harrison between guard shifts.
The new dynamic of the group was pretty interesting, to say the least. Tracy hadn’t been out to interact with the whole lot of Malkrin, but she definitely noticed how they treated the engineer. They’d started to look up to him in a way ever since he started showing off technology. In a little over two days, the man had shown them that he could provide the materials for a brick house, fine clothing—especially by the alien’s standards—armor, and delicious food. That wasn’t even mentioning the other benefits the technician heard a few of the ‘banished’ talking about over their meals: heating, electric lights, and other assorted machines.
She’d be feeling pretty happy about herself if she was in his position, having so many look up to him and be grateful at the same time. He seemed to view it a lot more robotically, however, only striving to get the basics done. Luckily for him, his basics were their luxury.
That wasn’t all there was to the topic; the engineer lamented about how the colony was going through food just as quickly as materials. The meals weren’t the direct issue he had, more that he had to start focusing on long-term resource harvesting rather than directly preparing for a literal horde of monsters—which wasn’t exactly ideal. It was a good thing that they just so happened to take on an influx of Malkrin then…
Either way, they finally finished the ‘totally legal modification’ for the fabricator, meaning they could at least partially address the latter half of his worries. The whole process of ripping out an old printer and replacing the parts for a new one felt a lot easier than she imagined… even if it took her at least forty-eight hours to complete it… with help from Harrison. Maybe that was why it felt so easy… She supposed the colony overseers didn’t choose the man for no reason, so his skills made sense.
“So… what do we want to print out first?” Tracy questioned, having finished testing the last major component.
The engineer stretched his arms up into the air and rotated his shoulders, then pulled back the desk’s chair and took a seat. “I’ve had just one thing in mind since the start of this whole project.”
Her brows raised in a mix of excitement and curiosity. She leaned forward, looking at the computer monitor from over his shoulder. “Oh? What’s that, then?”
A smirk formed along his cheek, the computer mouse rapidly clicking through the blueprint folder. “I’ve had a lot of time to think about what kind of firearm we need since I started dabbling in belt-fed weapon systems.” He opened one final file, a short loading bar preceding the exploded assembly view of… “An M2 Browning machine gun. It’s more than powerful enough to kill in one shot, while also being capable of fully-automatic fire, with a capacity of however many rounds we want in a belt-box.”
“Uh…huh…” She gave a skeptical nod and took a step back, not exactly sold on the idea. “It looks ancient. It’s kinetic, right? Why aren’t we using energy-based weapons? Don’t we have a gunpowder shortage coming up?”
He moved his chair off to the side to look back at her. “We just can’t; Simple as. We’ll need who knows how many more AI cores before we can get started on that level of equipment, Trace,” he huffed, returning his gaze to the specifications of the firearm. “This isn’t the most ‘modern’ weapon we can make, but its twenty-first century counterpart helps with an improved design… somewhat. And, as I said before, it should be more than capable of killing a bug in one shot, so Shar can just tap-fire it to save ammunition.”
Her head tilted quizzically. “Shar?”
“Yup,” he returned confidently. “It’s the perfect weapon for her.”
She raised a brow. “How so?”
He held his hand up, counting his reasons on his fingers. “She’s always on the front line with a shield, she can absolutely handle the weight and recoil, her four arms make reloading it simple, plus she’ll need something with range and power that isn’t a spear. So, why not? And, if for some reason, she doesn’t want to use it, we can just convert it into a turret—which is something I was planning on doing anyways with however more M2s we print out later.”
“I doubt she’ll say no to any gun you give her,” Tracy chuckled while shaking her head, inadvertently causing her bangs to cover her eyes.
“Fair enough,” he conceded with a bob of his head. “What do you think, then? What kinda weapons do you have in mind?”
She reapplied her goggles into an impromptu hairband, feeling a smirk cross her face. “Thought you’d never ask. What purpose do we need these guns to fulfill? Hordes I’m guessing?”
“That’s the idea, yeah. That doesn’t mean they all need to be machine guns, though.” He tapped the belt-fed shotgun beside him.
“Well, lemme see what we’re working with first.” She suddenly stepped forward, leaning over Harrison’s seat to access the keyboard and mouse. Her arms briefly rubbed against him, forcing him to roll his chair backward. She suppressed a giggle at seeing his incredulous frown.
Her eyes quickly traced the hundreds of individual files, clicking through all sorts of folders, each arranged from pre-twenty-first century ‘antiques,’ to more modern iterations of kinetics and particle weaponry. There was… a lot on there—almost too much to reasonably comb through. Why? Did the colony overseers just say ‘fuck it’ and put whatever they could find on here? Were they expecting the pioneers to make a museum of everything?
She sighed, standing up straight and facing Harrison. “Y’know, I’m actually impressed you managed to find that M2-whatever in there…”
He shifted in his seat, resting an elbow on the desk. “Yup, there’s a lot. I’m almost tempted to just make several of those machine guns and just call it a day, but I feel like that’d be too much of a strain on resources, no?”
“I don’t really know enough about how you fight those spider-crab things, or how to get more gunpowder, so… maybe?” She shrugged, biting her cheek in contemplation. “You might just wanna make a few smaller caliber weapons… like, uh… those old kinetic service rifles. If your pump-action shotgun works fine, I’m sure some normal guns would work just fine for now, right?”
He hardily gripped his firearm, hauling it up to his lap. “Depends on what you mean by ‘smaller caliber.’ The whole reason why the KS-23 here works—” he pulled out a massive shell from the ammo belt, displaying it on his palm. “—is because the twenty-three-millimeter round has enough energy transfer to mess up any bug's shell and insides. I’d say the smallest rounds we could use would be point-two-forty-three caliber to get any similar results.”
Brief flickers of grungy orange shells and gnashing teeth marred Tracy’s sight. She forcibly suppressed them, distracting herself with dry humor and a strained laugh. “Guess those fuckers can really take a punch, huh?”
He shook his head somberly. “I couldn’t imagine going up against them without a gun… Anyway, I like your idea of a standard rifle for now. Then, when we have some product lines up, we can go a little more in depth into personal weapons.”
“So are you gonna take one?” She hopped up on the desk, letting her legs swing off the side.
“Don’t think so, no. I’ll stick with my shotty.” The internals of the heavily modified weapon rattled as he held it up and inspected it. “Doesn’t mean I’ll keep it as is. I’m thinking of printing a laser aiming module so I can point-fire it accurately, and maybe a melee-oriented muzzle brake or a lighter chassis to reduce weight… Not sure though.”
She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees, her cheeks in her palms. “Melee-oriented? Oooooh, like a chain-sword or something?”
His short chuckle coerced a smirk to her face. “No, not like that. More something to use as a bludgeoning tool. Right before the blood-moon, I ended up getting just as much use out of this shotgun as a hammer than as a… well, a shotgun.”
“That’s pretty fuckin’ metal. So are you just gonna make the barrel into a giant bayonet?”
He nodded. “Not exactly a bayonet, but something more like a door-breaching break.”
A short silence settled on their conversation, the faint sounds of the fabricator’s hum and distant woodwork coming to light. Right, there was an outside world… She’d been too caught up talking to Harrison for however many hours it had been. She wondered how successful the fisherwomen were in collecting, and how things had been for the others working on the wood storage shack. Maybe it was already completed? The sun peered through the cargo bay door, proving that it was only about midday. What else would they work on today?
“Hey,” she ventured.
“Hm?” the engineer hummed, his eyes focused on the monitor beside the technician.
She scooted closer to his keyboard. “What’re we doing after this?”
“What do you mean?”
She leaned backward, propping herself up on two hands. “Project wise; what’s the next big thing?”
“Uhmmm…” he muttered, interacting with the computer for a few more seconds before finally meeting her gaze. “Well, I’ve just allocated the fabricator to print out the M2, three FALs—wood furniture, of course—then there’s the magazines and ammunition, so we’ve got a lot of time to kill. The next big thing is definitely going to be metal procurement, and— Oh, right!” Harrison stopped mid-sentence, reaching into his backpack and pulling out several finger-sized metallic cubes, a sudden fire in his eyes. “Okay, so a while ago, during an encounter with three colossi, Shar and Akula found a cave with some ‘surface’ metal deposits. I took a piece off to analyze, but never got the chance to until last night. Anyway, we don’t have any machines to examine the ore, so I made use of the recycler and broke it down to its baser components.”
She nodded along, seeing where he was going with his explanation. “I’m guessing those shiny cubes are the metals from the ore?”
“Sure is. So, as it turns out, we have a pretty damn close supply of not only iron, but also, zinc, sulfur, and a small amount of cadmium. I talked with Sebas about it and did a little research. We believe it’s something akin to sphalerite, given its composition and looks, which implies it’s a sedimentary exhalative deposit. That means there must have been some volcanic…”
Harrison continued talking about underwater deposits and ancient rock formations, bringing up some theories brought forward by the now 4-AI-core-powered Sebas, delving into the current land mass’ history and possible ore output. A lot of it went over the tradewoman’s head, but she still listened intently… Honestly, she could have listened to the man talk about finding metals for hours. It was sort of like the podcasts she used to listen to while completing colonist training, but even more personal and somehow easier to get lost in…
“…find some other minerals further down like silver, but it also might be an active lava zone. Again, these are all theories and this world could just throw the fundamentals of geology away as it does for physics. Anyway, sorry for going on for so long about that, just thought it’d be important for getting some metals in the future.”
“No, no,” Tracy assured, alleviating him of concern with a wave of her hand. “If there’s anything the colony overseers emphasized, it was farming and mineral acquisition. Don’t worry.” She smiled, pointing a thumb to herself. “I just wanna know how I can help.”
“Actually, I’ve a few things only you can do. I’d like to make use of your impressive drone-making expertise for a few applications, if you don’t mind.”
The task of keeping eye contact slipped into an impossible feat in the span of a singular second, planting a pang of embarrassment on her reddened face, forcing her to inspect her fidgeting hands. “I-I wouldn’t say ‘impressive’… b-but what do you have in mind?”
She could see him raise a brow out of the corner of her vision. “Well, after what you’ve shown me with the reconnaissance flyers, I’d like your help in setting up a more permanent ‘net’ of them to scour the meadow and parts of the nearby forest to look out for any approaching hordes. I don’t want to be snuck up on… again…”
‘Again.’
She noted his small frown and sunken eyes, both a little more exaggerated than they already were. It wasn’t like she’d deny his request, but the pangs of empathy over their shared situation all but solidified her resolve. It was the least she could do. She could help him. She would help him.
The technician exhaled slowly, taking on a more serious and understanding tone than before. “I… can do that. For sure. What else?”
“I appreciate it.” He gave a wane smile. “I’ll help you with whatever you need for the project. For the other drones, I’m thinking about a small exploration vehicle to map out caves around us and mark any minerals, as well as a submersible to look for potassium deposits in the ocean.”
“So… search bots?” She crossed her arms, confidence growing; those were her specialty. “Depending on how long the fabricators take and what kind of base drones are in the blueprint folders, I should be able to get those done in no time. All I need to know are the search cues for potassium and how many drones you want.”
He quickly shuffled a few folders on the computer, turning the monitor for her to see some scientific documents with various images and walls upon walls of text. “There’re plenty of resources for that on here for what to look for, and there’s always Sebas, so feel free to ask him since he can just sort through the data for you anyway. If you can, I’d like it if you could focus on the submersible after the reconnaissance drones.”
“Sounds good to me. I’ll be right on it, then.” She gave him a thumbs up, slipping off his desk and toward her own.
“I’ll bring you lunch in a bit. Imma go check on the others,” he called.
Her stomach grumbled at the mention, her head turning to give him an appreciative smile. “Oh! Thanks!”
\= = = = =
Avian creatures chirped from their perches in the trees nearby. The wind softly rustled red leaves as grass gently gave way to calculated footfalls. A warm sun laid its light on Shar’khee’s neck. It was surprisingly pleasant, were one to take the time to notice. The mainland was a confusing place for the paladin, with its disparate representations of nature contrasting so heavily. Some days were filled with blood and ravenous beasts, while others were left within the domain of simplicity and beauty. She was content to have the latter, yet it felt like a facade veiling the former—a soft exterior covering the maliciously spiked interior. Never could she leave herself to carelessness, no matter how welcoming it might be.
Hence why she worked to ensure the safety of the star-sent’s castles and their inhabitants, her days largely spent patrolling for any roaming swarms that may wish to cause them harm. She typically used the routine to think, but today offered little in the way of solitude. This time, she was accompanied by the previously banished guardswoman, and was tasked with instructing the new one, though the specifics of what such lessons should entail were vague. Still, Shar’khee did all that she could so as not to disappoint Harrison, so she could only attempt to meet his expectations of her.
She told the yellow-skinned female of the threats that the settlement faced, how one was to defeat them, and what to expect from the beasts. The guardswoman was directed to practice her form with the spear in both thrusts and throwing for some time afterward, proving herself to be well-built. Such was expected of her profession after all.
It was pleasing to have another capable of patrolling the settlement’s outskirts for swarms, as it would greatly impact how effectively the colony could react to such a threat. If her routine was to suffer for the colony’s well-being, she was happy to show the new one her patrol route and note what to look out for.
The guardswoman was not a perfect student, however. Shar’khee never addressed it directly, but the yellow-skinned female obviously discredited the danger posed by the abhorrent, not-so-subtly shrugging off any warnings.
…That was until they stumbled upon the ‘hyena-boars,’ as Harrison called them.
The beasts resided in a clearing not too far from the castles, carelessly meandering across the sea of tall grass. Shar’khee quickly crouched, dragging the guardswoman down with her. Once she assessed that the creatures were not an imminent danger, she decided it would be an excellent opportunity to show the new one how to properly engage a threat. She was about to propose the idea, yet her speech was silenced just as swiftly.
Orange flashes darted through the trees around the glade. Taloned feet and gnashing teeth tore across the ground toward the unsuspecting beasts at the center. It was much too late for them. They were slow. Surrounded. Unaware. It was as quick as it was vicious, the forest’s reds turning a deeper crimson hue in a moment's notice underneath the abhorrent’s brutality.
Gangly monstrosities gnawed and ripped at the dead creatures, brief glimpses of raw flesh and white bone protruding from the small spaces between the clumped-up beasts. Repulsive wet splatters of blood and gore overlapped the calm noises of the forest, the grisly scene serenaded by the softest of nature’s symphonies. It was a sickening juxtaposition.
Shar’khee bit back the unease and steeled herself. They were within twenty paces—close enough to smell the abhorrent’s vile stench of rot and bile, yet far enough so as not to be noticed. She briefly considered backing away and retreating, her focus bouncing between the different avenues of escape, or how to cover her footst—
Crack.
Several sets of feral, eyeless maws snapped in their direction, the blood dripping off freshly dampened teeth. The guardswoman gasped, Shar’khee’s gaze following to see the mistake: a singular broken branch crinkled as a yellow-colored foot raised off the splintering twig.
The paladin exhaled sharply and smoothly stood up, brandishing two spears and her shield. Her glare settled on the still crouching guardswoman. “You are to stay behind my shield and let them appr—ch. Rem—ber what I have told you. Aim for their maws when you thrust y—r lance.”
The other female nodded, shakily pulling out her own weapons with unsteady placement hampering her grip. There was an obvious nervousness to her gaze. Hesitance. That would not do.
Shar’khee faced the prowling abhorrent her knuckles shifting hue as she prepared for their advance, for there was no chance that they wouldn’t. True to her experience, the stalking turned to a gallop with several clicks of grotesque tongues, the swarm bolting toward her as one. She snarled and slammed her bulwark into the ground, letting the approaching beasts skewer themselves amongst its spikes.
There were only ten—a paltry amount. She had defended against magnitudes more, and yet she still stood. What is more, they were mindless. Uncoordinated. They would be but stains in the cloth she used to clean her armor. Perhaps, if they were fortunate, they might leave a furrow in her shield to remember them by. Her arms tensed as the first leapt.
One by one, the abhorrent fell, their repulsive green blood splattering under her thrusts. Each awaiting corpse tore across the grove’s grass, lunging to their deaths with gaping maws and unfeeling hunger, yet she did not yield. Their shells were crushed by her shield and impaled by her Goddess-blessed spears, becoming but one more smear across their surface. Ten motionless lumps lay before her, seeping their ichor into the soil, none having passed the barrier she became. Dead, just as the Creator intended. She remained vigilant for a few moments longer, watching for any more of the disgusting creatures.
None showed themselves, finally allowing blood to flow to her fingers once again. The shield’s heavy presence weighed down her back, the blood flicked off of her spears before she returned them to their place.
“Are y–u well?” Shar’khee addressed the frozen Malkrin, wiping away the splatter on her bracers. The guardswoman stared at the small pile of deceased creatures, her heavy breaths and widened eyes moving from the spear from her singular kill. The paladin huffed. “We are fort—ate that there were so few.”
“F-Few? God help us…” Her horrified, stunned gaze slowly met the paladin’s. “Y-You said there were hundreds on the crimson nights? H-How do you… They were s-so fast.”*
”As I h–ve warned,” Shar’khee affirmed.
“You are a paladin! You all exaggerate your feats… I thought it was just a facade!”
“I have no r—son to lie,” she returned tersely, shrugging off the insult to her station and shaking her head. “The mainl—d is far more dangerous than ten gnash—g beasts; more so than that of your island hamlet. Pick yourself up. We m—t inform the others of this incursion.”
The yellow-skinned female snarled, furrowing her brows at the ground in frustration. At whom…? Shar’khee? Herself? Regardless, the female promptly gathered her composure, pushing air through clenched jaws. A step forward had her feet splash in the small pool of blood, the Malkrin nodding toward the paladin to continue back to the castles.
“…for the village.”
Shar’khee paused in her stride and faced her, frowning at the determination and anger leaking through the intent. “W—t was that?”
Her question was returned with honesty, a huffed voice marred by vexation. “Paladin, how am I to defend my village-mates as I am now?”
“‘As you are now?’ What do you m—n?”
The guardswoman stared down at her spear, wood creaking under her grip. “I have faltered before what you deem a paltry threat, and the thought of an even greater one sows dread deep within my bones. I wish… I wish to be better prepared to defend those of my village. I cannot help but see their faces on those of the furred creature in the clearing, and yet, even if I am so close, I am just as unable to protect them.”
Shar’khee stared down the yellow female, a long gaze taking in a rare showing of sincerity. “Y—r fears are one we all share, new one. Do not be ashamed of them. All t—t matters is that you do not let them rem—n mere fear, but make them your strength. So tell me, do you wish to impr—e? To ensure they do not fall while you are support—g them?”
The yellow-skinned female released a shuddering breath that bled off the worst of her indecision, a newly invoked flame flaring within her visage. “I do, paladin. I seek to protect and to be of use.”
“Then, if you wish to make y—rself resilient in the face of all that opposes us, it would be my undertak—g to forge you anew. Fortunately, Harrison has ordered such already, and his guidance shall prove ever useful, should you pursue it.”
The guardswoman shuffled in place at the star-sent’s mention, her eyes slipping downwards. “He is of a great many resources, but I would rather receive your teachings than those of a craftsman… or that of a male, deity-sent he might be.”
She placed a palm on the female’s shoulder. “He is far more than you might ever k—w. Regardless of if you ac—pt his guidance, I commend your conviction. However—” Her hand gripped tighter, though not enough to instill hostility. “—understand that you are protecting more than just your vi—age-mates.”
The new one nodded, staring up at the paladin with stallwart resolve. “Of course. I shall be in your tutelage, then.”
Shar’khee smiled. “T—n let us begin.”
\= = = = =
Akula was becoming increasingly certain that she knew how her parents once felt. The green-skinned fisherwoman was currently rotating between the many tasks placed upon her, guiding the newcomers through the minutia of their tasks so they might live up to the potential Harrison saw within them. She was gratified to have her own talents recognized by the Creator, but it also placed a great many responsibilities in her talons. Of course, she handled each new addition with finesse befitting her heritage, never once balking from the increasing demands. If anything, she felt validated; it was required of her as a female anyway, was it not? The more feminine-appropriate labor and management one undertakes, the higher authority they were granted.
It began with a simple assignment to oversee the chef’s introduction to the star-sent’s provided cooking appliances. As fascinating and convenient as utilities were, she held no interest in preparing any more food than she already had, but teaching another to operate the machines would alleviate such requirements of her. She reluctantly accepted the task when it was proposed, especially considering the fact that Harrison was much too busy with his other projects to bother with something as benign as cooking. His work was more valuable elsewhere.
The task itself went well, and the pink-skinned chef was quick to pick up on the use of the various kitchen devices, as well as the smoker. A grin had grown when she considered the possibility of all males understanding such domestic things readily, yet her mirth at removing the masculine job required of her was short-lived. Despite the newly initiated Malkrin’s success, Harrison had Akula frequently return to oversee the numerous cooking operations being conducted. That was in tandem with the back-to-back fishing trips made by both herself and the newly acquired females.
…Which was something else the green-skinned cycle-worshipper was ordered to oversee.
She had left the chef to his devices after producing another batch of partially seasoned meals, returning to the Creator with hopes of a break. He applauded her efforts with a nod and tersely spoken appreciation, then quickly pushed two spearguns into her hand and directed her to the ocean, where the twins were ‘working with jack shit,’ as the busy male said. She was to give the fisherwomen the tools and make sure they were used properly, and offer additional assistance in acquiring ‘enough fish to have us fed for a little bit.’
So, she left to complete the given task, feeling somewhat appreciative that her speargun was of superior quality to those she would be delivering—the newcomers were only afforded the lesser, roped-bolt version. It was only natural that she was in possession of their greatest assets, of course; the star-sent saw her as the only one capable of wielding such fantastic ammunition, showing trust that was rightfully placed in her. That did not mean the gray-skinned females were unsatisfied with their own gifts, however. The twins were swiftly caught up on the ‘manual of arms’ and sent to work, somehow managing to keep up with Akula in spite of their land-based origins. The two were fast enough to outpace the cycle-worshipper in sheer speed, but their lack of numerous winters spent traversing deeper waters meant they required frequent rests, breaking the ocean’s surface after every third captured fish or so.
Still, she had to appreciate their dedication to their task. They never complained about Akula pushing them further to reach the star-sent’s vague objective. Such a task was entrusted to her—and by proxy, the other two—and thus it would be completed, no matter how much her comfortable bed… couch called her tiring muscles.
The group of three hauled net after full net of fresh meat to the chef—and sewist, who later joined him—forcing him to relegate much of the catch to long-term storage as the kitchen simply could not deal with the surplus. At least three-quarters of the fish were put to slow cook in the now Malkrin-sized smoker. The craftsman had upgraded it with a kit provided by Harrison, who had recycled much of the dining room and workshop furniture to accommodate it. The Creator’s showcased urgency to gather materials was clearly not unfounded… It was admirable how he used what little he had left to ensure food would not be scarce. Additionally, the apparatus exuded an excellent scent for all the survivors to enjoy, the earthy aroma drawing in some of the other Malkrin for their breaks or meals.
Those were not the end of the cycle-worshiper’s tasks, however. She was also required to report on Shar’khee’s progress in training the guardswoman—helping to recycle the small swarm of abhorrent they cleared earlier—as well as the wood storage building’s progress. Indeed, she was advising and assisting however and wherever applicable. To say she was seen all around the settlement would be an understatement.
Nevertheless, she was appreciative to see her efforts bearing fruit by sundown. The processing of their meals from sea to plate was quite efficient, and those that Akula taught were now well-practiced in their duties. The twin fisherwomen dove from wave to wave, bringing fish back to the barracks, where the cook and sewist swiftly worked to transfer the meat to pans and smoker hooks alike. Then, the remnants of the Sea Goddess’ aquatic gifts would be subsequently recycled and given purpose anew as biofuel or perhaps future fertilizer.
The endless onslaught of duties and responsibilities had enlightened her, in a way. She could see where Harrison came from now; having a working project go from one point to another without input nor difficulty was a sight to behold, and it made her swell with pride. It was a surmountable feat to teach the barbaric ground-worshippers to do something properly.
…Well, they were not horrible Malkrin, so perhaps simply calling them ‘uninitiated’ was a more apt descriptor…
No matter the tribulations faced, and no matter how draining her new authority might be, her rest at the end of the day would be one that was well-earned, and it would be had with a sense of satisfaction. She deserved it, and perhaps that extended to the rest of the settlement as well.
- - - - -
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Next time on Total Drama Anomaly Island - Mine! Mine! Mine!

I grew up without parents and a lot of confusion, and it took me a while, but I'm in a good space emotionally. I have a decent job, and good friends. I'm content.
But I've never really made any long-term plans before. I think I've always been in survival mode, and now that I don't have to be, I genuinely don't know where to start with building a whole life. Suddenly it seems possible that I could have my own home, and hopefully my own family, and maybe I can even aim higher at work, and learn music.
I don't think I truly understand the world. I don't have an opinion on the state of the economy. I'm learning more and more each day. But I'm 32, and I want to figure out all the life skills I've missed out on sooner rather than later because I'm eager to join the world.
What are some skills that I should learn to be financially and physically more responsible so I can someday provide for my family? How does one plan for retirement?

My mom has a degenerative brain disease and lives in a nursing home, so my dad is the only parent I have left.
I'd say he was always conservative, as he has what I'd call a "conservative" temperament/personality, but for most of my life he's been apolitical. He was not happy when Obama won in 2008, but he was still working full-time and to my knowledge he never engaged with right-wing media. He supported gay marriage. He retired in 2016 and started watching FOX around the 2020 election, maybe a couple of years before, and everything changed.
That year, I was visiting for Christmas, and we got into an argument about something. In his anger, he hurled a single insult at me: "Liberal!" I knew it was Fox talking. That wasn't like him. In that moment, he didn't even see me as a daughter, but as "the other," "the enemy." Why? Because Fox told him I was, of course. I knew immediately that things were very different.
He has no opinions that are his own, that he has researched and thought through. Nine times out of ten, when he spouts some politically charged story, I know that it has been reported in right-wing media, and that whatever they told him to think about it, he believes. He's like an empty vessel. Around 2021, I remember him defending Confederate memorials. We live in the Midwest, and I knew right away that he had seen some segment on it on Fox. Same with guns. We never had firearms growing up, and my parents were actually rather anti-gun. Now he defends the Second Amendment vociferously.
His racism, misogyny, and xenophobia -- nigh absent during my childhood -- slip out all the time.
He is my father, but I loathe the type of person he now represents.
I keep telling myself that it's not his fault, and that has been essentially brainwashed. But some part of me misses him very much. I guess we all have moments in which we realize the idealized conceptions we had of our parents growing up are not accurate, but this hurts. It's almost like I've lost both parents.

I'm a 15 year old lesbian who already kinda got stuff figured out about my sexuality. I came to accept myself but sometimes it just makes life so difficult. At school whatever i say gets ignored or people just keep calling me a faggot until i stop talking. I also got scolded by teacher for my masculinity in clothings and hair. People will literally say the most homophobic things in front of my face and expect me to be ok with it. I lost so many friends i lost count. I still haven't managed to ufficially come out to my parents even tho they know but still they say such homophobic things to my face, and they weren't like this before realizing my sexuality. I just can't understand if they'd be supportive or not cause they try to get me to admit it to them and tell me it's ok and that they love me regardless but then start making all these hate speeches idk what to think. Sometimes it's just hard and tiring i needed to rant. Older queers, does it get better?

Sorry for the long post...
TL;DR: Sister-in-law is HEAVILY dependent on mother-in-law, who enables her behaviour. We're caught in the middle due to circumstances beyond our control. I'm looking for strategies to address this co-dependent behavior so that we can all live more peaceably and independently.
SIL = my sister-in-law (33f) MIL = my mother-in-law (65f) FIL = my father-in-law (66m) Me (41m) Wife (35f)
My wife and I live with her parents, due to a recent disability and chaotic finances/insufficient income resulting therefrom. Hey parents are the type of people who are overly nice to the point of it being mildly annoying. But they're also, classically, entrenched in their ways. MIL & FIL are both recently retired nurses (both introverts), who've spent their entire marriage on an acreage in the middle of nowhere.
SIL calls MIL a bare minimum of twice per day and, most commonly, six or more times per day. 99% of these phone calls are NOT important ("I just got out of bed." "I just got out of the shower." "I'm heading to work." "I'm going to get groceries." "I'm at the grocery store." "I'm heading home from groceries." "I'm home." Etc). More than half the time, these calls come at inconvenient times (during dinner, when putting our baby down for bed, in the middle of an important conversation, etc).
This is NOT an exaggeration or a joke.
More often than not, these conversations drag on, even after saying bye, because SIL refuses to be the one to hang up, and MIL often won't end the call.
In addition to the phone calls, my SIL stays here for almost EVERY long weekend & holiday break (she works in the school district) AND for the ENTIRE SUMMER. EVERY. SINGLE. YEAR. She doesn't clean up after herself while she's here and all she ever does is follow MIL around like a lost puppy... ALL. DAY. LONG. With my disability, my wife handles nearly all child care responsibilities and she occasionally needs help from MIL, who is often unavailable because she's on the phone with SIL.
MIL enables this behaviour more than 97% of the time. When prompted about it, she says "I like talking to her." (I think they both need to make some friends, but I digress.)
I feel like these two have a co-dependent relationship, and SIL is constantly complaining how she has no luck with dating (go figure). She also often exhibits a helpless attitude when doing anything of even trivial difficulty (no wonder). SIL was diagnosed with a learning disability at a young age, but I suspect that it was more that poor habits were fostered until they developed into a disability, rather than a spontaneous disability, because she exhibits many of the same behaviors and attitudes as FIL.
MIL gets annoyed with this behaviour occasionally—enough that she'll start pushing back—but within a few days she's back to her "normal" trend of enabling (for lack of a better term). When I try to say anything she always chides back with some meaningless trope like "not everyone is the same as you," or "everybody is different." Now, I personally know a LOT of people (well over a thousand) and have lived with close to a hundred roommates in my life, and I have NEVER met any healthy adult so dependent on their mother. In fact, I've never met another human being that's even 1% as glued to their parents as my SIL is. I'm seriously concerned that when my MIL passes away, that dependence will transfer to my wife (the family member that SIL is next closest to).
Anyway, as the school year-end approaches, my wife and I are on edge because we expect SIL will (again) be coming to stay here for the ENTIRE summer. While she does occasionally help with babysitting, she's usually just in the way for half the day, and takes a lot of MIL's energy so she's not as able to help out when we're getting desperate.
Moving won't be an option (we REALLY wish it was) until my battle with LTD is over (which may be a couple years, as I'm just starting legal action, and our courts (Canada) are severely backlogged since the pandemic).
Any suggestions on how to address this issue? My goal is for my SIL to become more independent, my MIL to reclaim her retirement, and my wife and I to be able continue to live here in peace until we can reclaim our independence.

I am 32 years old, married for 6.5 years, and I just had my trans awakening in March 2024 (MtF). I went through my whole life generally apathetic and just following society's guidelines for what life is supposed to look like: finish high school, go to college, get a good job, find a girlfriend, marry her, have kids, retire comfortably, die.
I thought I was acing life because I was naturally good with academia, and that was all my life had to be for 13-14 years. As for relationships, I had a fairly strong sex drive, and my desire for a partner was strictly governed by that expectation. My first relationship in high school was all sex. It ended with her cheating on me right before college.
Well there goes one of my checkboxes on the life list. Let me just focus on college so I can do the next thing: get a good job. But oh no, it's already senior year and I never even tried meeting a potential partner. How will I have time once I'm a working adult? I better create an online dating profile and stick with the first girl I match with.
Good enough was good enough, and 4 years later my parents pry and ask me what my intentions are. Guess it's time to get married. Things felt good; weddings are fun. I was doing all the right things. 2 years in and it's time for the next checkbox: children.
But there was a problem. We still never figured out exactly what, but it was likely a combination of poor sperm quality and my wife's migraine medication that constricts blood flow, making it impossible for an egg to implant. We tried 3 rounds of IUI and one IVF. Nothing. Looking back I thank the universe that we got stopped here, but at the time I was having an existential crisis. The plan was ruined. What do I do now?
I started going to therapy. I talked about all this, and eventually another secret that had been eating at me for decades: I had a fetish for gender transformation. It was always in the background. My shameful kink. But it started coming out more now that the life plan was broken. After a while I started to wonder if it was really just a fetish, and then on 17Mar24 I posted that question to reddit...and my egg shattered.
Now my therapist tells me how happy and alive I seem when I talk about my progress. She says I'm finally experiencing what it's like to choose my destiny. I didn't even realize I had a "life plan" before. All that I wrote previously in this post is with hindsight. I've never actually "chosen" to do anything. Not with my heart or any passion anyway.
And now that shatters another big part of my life: my marriage. It was based on a lie, one that I had told myself my entire life. I feel like it's finally time to face divorce, but I'm still scared. How do I throw away 11 years of history with this person? Sure it wasn't all good, but it wasn't all bad either. We have inside jokes, we make each other laugh, but there was always this underlying tension that something wasn't right. I don't think I ever loved her. The highs are mid and the lows are deep dark trenches.
I post this after a huge fight we had last night. I have my own girl clothes, but I wanted to try on some of my wife's. She gave me permission. I even tried some on in front of her to get feedback. Everything seems OK. Later she gets drunk and starts getting agitated at me. Turns out she didn't like seeing me in her clothes because she's jealous; she has put on a bit of weight, which I really don't mind but it's a huge deal for her with a history of anorexia, and seeing me look skinny in her old clothes was too much. I told her that wasn't fair and she should have just been up front with me.
This has also been a consistent issue. She claims to be supportive, and often is...when sober. She tends to drink her problems away, which I also find extremely unattractive. But the truth comes out of the bottle. I don't think she can handle this, and I also don't think it's fair to her that I am starting to realize that I don't even love her. She claims to love me, but I think she's scared of being alone. She has no friends and almost no family; both parents dead, grandma's on her way out, and she doesn't even like the rest of her family. She doesn't even like my family or friends that much. She hates people. Everyone but the current relationship. She's actually said so herself. Big red flag that I missed for years.
tldr: I married a person I didn't love because of societal expectations, and now that I'm trans I realize I don't have to conform to those expectations, and it seems to be the end of this marriage

Hi there, I'm desperately looking for some advice and direction, so anything is much appreciated. For some context, I'm a med student currently in Hong Kong. I have been an immigrant for my whole life, and actually am from India. I have always LONGED to move abroad, and that desire has gotten stronger after getting into university, because I never feel like I belong to this city, and language barrier has been the bane to my existence. I have learned the local language since I immigrated, about 12 years, yet I struggle so much, and I realize even if I gain fluency, I will never be apart of the culture or accepted by the locals. So despite being a local, I feel like an outsider and this has caused my family a lot of serious issues too...so I just know I have to leave and move to a better place. I don't have much roots, my parents are very antisocial so dont have much friends or relatives or anything in this city, though my parents are my everything. And wherever I move, I would want them to come along, even if it takes a few years. (I know it may not be something everyone agree one, but when you've had no one in your life other than 2 important precious people, you would not want to lose them)
So as I am a medical student, it complicates things by A LOT, like the whole licensing process especially. I have only been looking into English-speaking countries, so that makes it US, UK, Australia and New Zealand. Any country which's main language isnt English is off-limits, because I'm done with that, Hong Kong was an experience enough. So here is somethings I think about each country, now if you have any advice, any remark, I would really really appreciate it. If you know someone that pathway or smth, that would be incredible.
USA - I am definitely appealed by the american dream but really not sure it exists. Hong Kong has been an extremely safe place so safety hasnt ever been an issue but with my research, I'm quite concerned about the issues revolving gun possessions, school shootings, and also insane medical expenses (the privation threatens basic human rights) also the work culture which isnt that big of an issue but docs have poor lifestyle. As for the licence, I will have do to many exams (USMLE Step 1-3) and more, and residency is gonna be tough, but after that the salary is great and so I can afford things like house and my parent's retirement so I'm happy with that. But MY UTMOST MAIN CONCERN aside from guns and all, is the visa procedure, I can probs get green card over time but it will take more than a decade for my parents to ever get green card. And my parents will age, so it wont be worth the wait. I have researched as much as I could, but if you know any other pathway to which this wont be such an issue, please let me know.
UK - The lifestyle is much better and way safer than USA, near Europe too so cheap travels. But the salary for NHS doctor, truly sucks like its so poor, I don't think I could buy a house or you know be able to have some basic posessions. The work-life balance is great, but if I can't have a decent pay that I'm not sure how survivable it is. As for the visa thing, I don't think its as bad as US and there is some way I can bring my parents, but it makes no sense if I don't have money to even bring them.
Australia - This is something only recently I have considerently. Haven't done much research as a result, but general consensus is the pay is great (similar to HK where I live). But this is so incredible stupid to say, but I am so so so terrified of wildlife, the spiders and snakes get to my nerves (this is the only irrational fear I have, and it runs deep). I know its so stupid but pls tell me what you think.
New Zealand - THIS IS MY TOP CHOICE RN, again I'm in an uncertain place but so far this has seemed the most realistic and appealing. Docs' salaries are decent like about USD $5k monthly, isnt good nor as bad as UK. But the cost of living is quite high because its located so secluded from the whole world. Travelling is going to be so costly and so is living cuz grocery shopping is insane, though I do think in time I will be able to buy a house, and the living is slow-paced, the healthcare is free or at least not as costly in general. My main concerns are travelling issues (because I still would want to travel once a year back to my hometown or some vacation), and high cost of living (to pay for my parent's living, buy a house, perhaps have a family in the future).
The licensing isnt the biggest concern for others compare to USA, because if I want to pass those exams, I need to start studying like from this year (and I just finished the first year of medical school, and 5 more years to go). That is why I am thinking about it, I don't know and have got no one for guidance. Just know that mainly my parents are a big priority to me, and I want them to move with me, I want to have a good pay so I can afford a house and also again my parents can live with me, the only luxury I truly want is just a house and enough money to go to vacation once a year (could be hometown India, or somewhere Europe). The salary here in Hong Kong is so awesome for docs, even the starting one so it concerns me a lot that I am taking it for granted but literally I am so alone and isolated and medical school has really put it into perspective that I am always an outsider despite my attempts. Having a direction or doing research onto this plan so I can start preparing is the only thing going me.