Three guys one hammerhree guts

okay so for a bit of background, i’ve been listening for like 7 years now and i’ve listened back to pretty much every episode from before i started listening, so this joke could literally be from any point in the whole podcast. i’m so sorry to be so vague.
there’s a joke that henry makes about meeting a comedian who has a dead brother and telling the living one “oh, lesser (last name), how i wish it was you in the casket instead of your brother.”
every time i try to remember this joke, bc i think its fucking hilarious, i always think it’s seth/chris mcfarlane but i also always have doubts. i remember looking it up one day and i don’t think that’s the brother duo the joke was about. so i suppose i’m just misremembering the joke so hard i’ve gaslit myself into thinking i’m right and now it’s so far gone i can’t even remember the keywords i looked up to begin with to find the answer.
tldr: i can’t remember the guy mentioned in this one joke and i hope somebody else does and can help me out. bonus points if you remember the episode, too, bc i can’t remember that either.

Hey everyone,
I wanted to share my story to inspire those who believe success is out of reach without a lot of money. I managed to generate 60-70 million views (give or take a few mil) and make 14K rev with 53% profit margin in just a few months, using only my phone and working on this after my day job. (worth mentioning this is only from organic traffic- no ads)
I found my product by scrolling on Instagram and downloaded videos from competitors. I cut them up and recreated the same angles, but with better backgrounds and lighting. Initially, I used daylight from a window with a white curtain for diffusion. Later, I invested in softboxes for even better lighting.
I focused on recreating the 12 top-performing videos from three competitors. Despite my limited time, I committed to posting one video per day. Out of the roughly 100 videos I made, a few took off and led to this incredible success.
It wasn’t easy, and I faced many challenges but I kept pushing forward. This journey has shown me that with dedication and a bit of creativity, you can achieve amazing results.
Thanks for reading, and I hope my story inspires you to keep going!

I have been trying to place an order for 4 days now. I had an account for years and never had a problem before now.
To summarize very, very briefly what's been an incredibly long and discouraging saga with the dinguses on the customer service chat and the 1 (855) 431-0459 customer service number, I get an error message telling me to use a different form of payment when trying to place an order. This has been a problem across three different cards from three different banks, all of whom have told me that the transaction is timing out on DDs end. I have removed and then reconnected the cards, logged out and then logged in again, tried both the app and the website, cleared my cache, tried a different browser, rebooted my computer, and I even deleted my old account and made a new one. Nothing helps, and neither does customer service. Good grief they've been bad. Telling me to dispute the charges when the problem is that I can't make a charge, not that there's an unauthorized one. Telling me to do all the basic account maintenance things that I told them I've already done. Telling me to do all the basic browser and computer stuff that I told them I've already done. Good grief I can't even begin to tell you how truly piss-poor the customer service has been. All I want to do is place an order. Does anybody have any suggestions? I'd try a different delivery service but this store is only on DoorDash.

I'm curious especially what you guys like around age 4. Do they start getting into books with more substantive stories and less rhyming? I'm eager to start the "read a chapter a night" phase, but that might be further down the road. We've about exhausted our library of our favorite series so I need to find some new series or one-offs to keep things fun. If I don't direct the library experience he ends up demanding whatever he sees, appropriate or not, which was fun when he wanted me to read out loud a book about what to do if the naughty uncle wants to touch you there. Knowing what's fun and good would help a lot.
Just to share back, here's some of our likes and dislikes for ages 2-3, ordered roughly from youngest to oldest.
Likes:

• Little Blue Truck, Alice Schertle: first book and well loved. Easy rhymes and easy for the kid to finish them from memory. If you're like us you were given three copies when the kid was born, along with the Very Hungry Caterpillar.
• Poppy and Sam, Complete Book of Farmyard Tales, Stephen Cartwright: very simple stories set on a small family farm.
• Elephant & Piggie, Mo Willems: Simple words in big type, with fabulously expressive characters and kid friendly humor. Always a hit. Plenty of books in the series.
• The Button Book, Sally Nicholls and Bethan Woollvin: critters explore what happens if you push a button drawn on the page, which lets kids act them out, too: beeping, singing, bouncing, hugging, tickling. Great fun.
• Julia Donaldson and Axel Scheffler books, like Room on the Broom, Gruffalo, Smartest Giant, Etc. Can't hardly go wrong with one of the biggest authors in the game. The audiobooks are narrated by A-listers, and the short films are very well done.
• Construction Site series, Sherri Dusky Rinker: the rhymes occasionally strain or repeat, but this series covers the names and jobs of a wide variety of industrial vehicles: on road crews, demolition teams, airports, farms, etc.
• Steam Train Dream Train, Sherri Dusky Rinker: explores all the types of wagons pulled by a train.
• Grumpy Monkey, Suzanne and Max Lang: Jim Panzee is grumpy, and honestly that’s ok. A good one for early emotions to help learn that it’s ok to be unhappy.
• The Day the Babies Crawled Away, Peggy Rathmann: Absolutely gorgeous silhouette drawings and wonderful, silly rhymes.
• Knight Owl, Christopher Denise: beautiful book about a brave owl who defends his castle by befriending the Dragon. I think it’s lovely, but the kiddo is a little too conflict averse for it.

Bit of both:

• Bluey books. They’re just the TV episodes simplified and written down. Every bit of dialogue explicitly says who spoke it, which makes the prose drab. Kid adores them though, but some (Unicourse especially) feature bad behavior he ends up modeling.

Disliked:

• Mr. Men series Roger Hargreaves: strikes me as made for an older generation - atypical behaviors are addressed with passive aggressiveness, repeated punishments, or simply exposure to “normal “ people, all of which naturally cures them.
• Antiracist Baby, Ibram X. Kendi: it’s advice for adults in the format of a baby book, and so it misses on being well suited for either.
• Love you Forever, Robert Munsch: I get that many people find it sweet, but I find it creepy AF.

So I recently started picking Magic back up after a hiatus due to the pandemic and the fact that I REALLY can't stand The One Ring (not because it's annoying but because it is in too many decks). By the time I left, the scam elementals were a thing but weren't as bothersome as they are now. With MH3 coming up, I jumped back in online and played my pet Esper Control deck as I build it for every format if possible. It is an old "draw go" list that I will provide here:
4 Flood Strand 4 Polluted Delta 2 Hallowed Fountain 2 Watery Grave 2 Raffine's Tower 1 Celestial Colonnade 1 Hall of Storm Giants 1 Castle Vantress 1 Sunken Ruins 1 Mystic Gate 1 Drowned Catacomb
4 Snapcaster Mage
4 Opt 3 Fatal Push 2 March of Otherworldly Light 4 Counterspell 3 Kaya's Guile 4 Archmage's Charm 2 Cryptic Command
3 Prismatic Ending 2 Damn
2 Teferi, Time Raveler 2 Teferi, Hero Of Dominaria
Sideboard: 2 Kataki, War's Wage 2 Shark Typhoon 3 Spreading Seas 2 Fracture 1 Kaya's Guile 2 Path to Exile 2 Supreme Verdict 1 Vindicate
The main idea behind the deck was to be instant speed all of the time with modal cards to cover my bases. I own this list in paper. A lot of it's cards were dedicated to stopping Hammer Time as that was my biggest challenge at the time. I took this list on xMage just to see if it still holds up and it is miserable. The two games I played I ran into an Orzhov scam deck that ripped 5 cards out of my hand by turn 2 or 3. After that I ran into a Gruel Prowess deck that I didn't know used it's graveyards once it emptied it's hand. That wasn't as annoying as I could just Kaya's Guile them I just was not aware of the gameplan. However today I saw a spoiler for a card that helps against scam so it will be an instant 4 of in my sideboard. I am aware that Leyline Binding is a thing, I just don't have copies or another land to reduce it's costs. Now I do still have an old Gruel Tron list (I'm a dinosaur) and fetchless Boros Burn list that I would like to update but for now I'll ask for advice on my Esper deck. What would you guys suggest be an improvement on the overall list? It doesn't have to be the best deck in the world but something fun that can at least win matches.
TLDR; I'm a returning modern player that needs help updating their esper control list for modern if possible.

I’m telling you guys that I am SO SO BISEXUAL and I am more than happy with the way I am but there is not a single person in my life that would accept it (besides one friend who I told years ago). I have no idea what to do. I like who I am I don’t mind that I like girls as much as I like boys but why does no one else. I don’t understand why everyone cares so much bc I don’t. I care less than everyone else on the planet about who I fancy isn’t that crazy???? Why does everyone care and why would everyone hate me for it bro :/ I feel like I’m hiding a big part of myself but I can’t tell anyone because they’d shun me. I can’t be who I am I’m gonna have to run away next year or something 👎 I mostly just want to put this little rant out there and kind of use this as my cheeky way of coming out but advice is appreciated - I know this is a tough position so many bi people have been in it’s awful. Anyway, I’m bi. Thanks for reading :P

So, here is part 2 of my entitled employee story. We left off with discovering Sally’s retaliation of giving me trash as a Christmas gift after her latest write-up.
So, the next several weeks, I am noticing more problems, but here’s some of the highlights.

1. Ever since we had issues of the office’s checks going randomly missing, Sally had apparently decided to just stop throwing any envelope away when opening the mail. She would supposedly search the envelopes/paperwork & then keep the envelopes with the paperwork. So, instead of doing her job better, she would decide to just stop doing the job at all. After all, you can’t get in trouble for screwing it up if you aren’t doing it, right? However, this resulted in items getting left with the paperwork (which sometimes wouldn’t get touched for several weeks due to being busy) that had needed to be collected or addressed right away.
   
2. Sally’s careless mistakes continued at about the same rate (average of 2 to 3 a week). She would put deposit slips/emails with the wrong office’s report, put one office’s mail in another office’s bin, put one office’s funding papers in another office’s bin, put one office’s bills in the folder for their correspondence & vice versa, put one office’s bills in the folder for another office’s bills, put the new month’s bills in the folder without taking out the old month’s bills so they would get mixed up. I could go on & on.
   
3. Sally would still ask for help on things she shouldn’t need help on anymore, ‘cause I had helped her many times on items exactly like it in the 2 years she’s worked here. I mean, the whole point of asking for help when learning new things on a job is so you can take the input you’re given & use it to get better at the job so you don’t have to ask for help anymore. I mean, what kind of office works by their employees constantly needing to be walked through everything every day? Sally would even ask for help on things no one would need to ask for help on. For example, she asked me, “An office took a deposit to the bank without showing it on their report. How do I write that up in the letter to fax to them?” Um, exactly what you just said to me. Or another time, she asks how long she should wait before calling an office back. Well, how long do you think you should give them? Just use your good judgment. You don’t need help with that! Again, you’ve been here 2 years!
   

On Jan 26, I take the Dec bills, correspondence faxes, & timesheets out of their folders to scan them into the computer. Now, one thing the bills should always have on them are the check number used to pay for this purchase & the date it was paid. The offices themselves are supposed to write this on there, but they don’t always, which is why it is our job to write it on there if it’s missing. I had noticed when I scanned Nov’s bills around Nov 30 that a lot of Sally’s offices don’t have that info written on them. So, I explained to her what needed to be written on every bill/receipt. I now flip through the Dec & Jan bills of her offices really quick to check them. There are quite a few of them with no info written down on them. There’s strike one for noncompliance.
Another task we would do several days a week (that’s Sally’s responsibility) is to check the bank accounts online. She is to look at the bank balances & report any low balances to Greg (or me if Greg isn’t there). She is then to look at the transactions in order to see if anything looks fraudulent. Since we are a loan company, check fraud is very common for us. So, we look at the checks for anything funny-looking, & we look to see if there are any auto debits (like when you use your bank account online to pay for a bill) that would tell us if someone got hold of our bank account info.
On Jan 30, at 1:15 p.m., I asked if any of the bank balances were low (Greg was out of town for a few days). Sally said she had forgotten to check the bank accounts that morning. Weird, ‘cause you had to check the Dallas office to make sure the money we sent them had shown up. How did you get the login sheet out to look in their bank account but then forget about checking all the bank accounts? This just further cemented in my mind that she was NOT checking these bank accounts the way she should. I was 100% positive that all she does when logging into these bank accounts is checking the balances to give to Greg but then never checks the transactions. I know this ‘cause, 1) I’ve observed Sally only logging in to write down the balances & then logging back out (she had some flimsy excuse ready when I asked her about it), 2) there have been auto debits that appeared in bank accounts that we didn’t find for weeks until I happened to see it for some reason & guess what? She never pointed those out to us, & 3) Sally hadn’t bothered to check the bank account balances since Greg was out of town, so clearly she only felt the need to check the balances. There’s strike two for noncompliance.
& even more bad mistakes or decisions:

1. At the end of Jan, we discovered that Sally had mailed the employees’ W2s to the managers’ home addresses instead of to the offices to distribute to their employees!
   
2. We had an office that moved locations to right across the street, so the only thing that changed in their address was their street number (12 Main Street instead of 11 Main Street). I explained this to Sally & gave her an updated list of the office’s addresses. 3 weeks later, we get a call from that office saying that mail we send to them keeps going to their landlord’s house. I check the address labels Sally had created for herself. Sure enough, it had the wrong address on them. I go to grab the lease, & at the top is where the tenant’s new address is listed. & all the way at the bottom of the page in the paragraph titled “RENT” where it lists where to send the rent is the landlord’s home address. & that’s the address Sally had chosen to be the new office’s address on her address labels.
   
3. Sally hadn’t been faxing the offices to ask for bills/receipts that never made it to us.
   
4. I used the last towel on a roll of paper towels, so I went to the cabinets to grab another. We were out. Sally is in charge of keeping track of supplies that need ordering, so I go to Sally & say we’re completely out of paper towels, we need to order some. Sally response: “No one ever tells me when they grab the last roll so I know when to order them.” Um, excuse me, since when is it our job to tell you to do your job? It’s your responsibility to keep track of supplies. You should be checking the level of paper towels, toilet paper, Kleenex, etc., to see when you need to order them.
   

So, I knew she needed a second warning write up for carelessness cause of the numerous mistakes since the first warning write up in the middle of Dec, & I would be giving Sally a first warning write up for negligence cause of her not asking the offices for missing bills & not writing the info on the bills I had told her to do at the end of Nov. However, it was only a few days from Feb, which was the time for performance reviews. So, rather than doing a write up now & then in a week or so doing a performance review that was one of the worst performance reviews I’ve ever heard of, I decided to just do it in one fell swoop. You know, just get it all out of the way with one bad conversation, one bad day, & then both of us can hopefully put it behind us & move on.
I decided to do the performance review & write ups on Feb 5 (Monday). It went much smoother ‘cause Greg was there, so Sally couldn’t really give me lip or lash out by showing attitude & anger like she had previously.
On Feb 7 (Wednesday), I log in to get the transactions for an office who is switching banks. I wanted to get an updated list of outstanding checks so they know how many checks are left before they can close the old bank account. & what do I see? Someone had used the bank account to pay $100 on their AT&T bill. I call the office & find out it was actually them, so no fraud there. But I then ask Sally if she had seen that when checking the bank accounts. She said she didn’t remember. Obviously, I have found my proof that she is either not checking them or isn’t paying attention when she does. I have a discussion with Greg about it, & we decide I need to have a sit down with her about her not doing her job. She is sick on Thursday, so I plan to talk with her the next day she comes in.
On Feb 9 (Friday), I begin the conversation about checking the bank accounts & how important it is. I am planning to say things like, we expect you to do this job, you’ve been told multiple times to do this task, if you’re not going to do the job, then you’re welcome to go find another one, etc. But she cuts me off at the beginning with an excuse of, “Well, I didn’t know what I should be looking for, now I know.” & it broke me. She does this exact thing every time I have to have a conversation with her. She has an excuse ready to go on the tip of her tongue, always spins it around so it’s not actually her fault. It’s always, “Well, I didn’t know that, but now, I do.” & I was just done. I didn’t continue the conversation, even though I needed to, ‘cause I just broke down in tears from the stress of having to discipline her & knowing that nothing will ever come of it, but having our hands legally tied to be able to fire her right now. I cried nonstop for over 4 hours.
On Feb 12 (Monday), I sat down to continue the conversation, this time with a written statement for her to sign.
Me: You respond a lot of the time that you don’t know how to do things, which is very frustrating, ‘cause you’ve been shown multiple times how to do these tasks. It’s very inefficient & wasteful that I have to constantly check all of your work & retrain you on the same thing over & over again. This needs to change. This job is about accuracy & accountability.
Sally: You’re not giving me a chance to improve. I never hear “Good job,” from you. All I ever hear is, “You’re doing a bad job, sign this paper.” I get in trouble every time I ask for help, so I guess I’ll just follow the instructions & hope I’m doing it right.
The problems with that response:

1. You’ve worked here for 2 years, Sally. You’ve had plenty of time to improve.
   
2. The reason you never hear “Good job” is ‘cause you’re not doing a good job. How am I supposed to tell you “Good job,” but also need to give you a write up for doing a bad job? If you’re getting multiple write ups for doing a bad job, don’t you think that’s a sign that something is wrong? I mean, she thinks that managers should be telling their employees good job on everything they do right. No, you’re expected to do these tasks. We’re not going to congratulate you every time you do your basic job requirements like some toddler that needs constant positive reinforcement so they know that doing something right is a good thing! You will hear “Good job” when you are doing a really good job on something, when you go above & beyond!! I mean, do you think Greg tells me “Good job” when I’m just doing my job as expected?!! NO!!! I’ve never had a manager constantly tell me “Good job” all the time!!!! (Whew. Sorry about that. Kinda went on a crazy rant there. I’m good now.)
   
3. Here’s another example of her mentality of “if I don’t do the job, I can’t get in trouble for doing it wrong.” She’s going to stop asking for help instead of using the help I’ve given her to do better. I mean, if you’re making these mistakes when you ARE asking for help, how many more are you going to make when you stop asking for help? How does this make any logical sense?!
   

Well, here’s another chance for some malicious compliance. She claimed she didn’t know how to check the bank accounts, right? Well, my job as the manager is to make sure my employees know how to do their job. So, I need to sit down with her & train her how to check the bank accounts. Again. Even though I know she already knows how to do it. So, every time you tell me that the reason why you didn’t do a job is ‘cause you didn’t know how to do it right, well, we’re going to sit down & waste both our times & annoy you having to be retrained on something you do, in fact, know how to do.
Sally continues making careless mistakes & not doing stuff she doesn’t think she should have to do. Like answering the phones. It’s her job to answer the phones; that’s something I as the manager should be delegating to her. However, she never answers the phone unless I literally can’t. So, I had asked her to start answering the phone more. She will wait until the last possible second before answering the phone. By that time, it’s already rung twice, so I have to answer it before it goes on any longer or they hang up. One time, we were both away from our desks when the phone rang. We both went to answer it, but she was closer & got to her desk before me, put her hand on the phone, & watched me until I got to my desk before she picked it up. With a comment of, “Oh, (laughs) I didn’t want to make you walk all the way to your desk.” Well, you did, anyway, you little jerk.
On Feb 27, Sally asks for help on a report. She says that my note stating the office is over-deposited $28 on report 1 but fixed on report 2 by being $28 under-deposited didn’t work out. She says that they were never over by $28 in the first place. I take the report to look it over. Her calculator tape adding up the deposits shows the bank is in balance, but I don’t see deposit slips.
Me: Where are the deposit slips?
Sally: I haven’t gotten them yet.
Me: (trying to comprehend her logic) Then how do you have the deposit amounts added on this tape?
Sally: I got the amounts from the report.
Me: You…(my brain trying not to implode at this point) you can’t add up amounts to see if the bank has too much or too little money in it without knowing what was actually taken to the bank. The amounts on the report don’t always equal what was taken to the bank.
I log into the bank account & discover just that: the report says they took $500 to the bank, but their deposit says $528. They were indeed $28 over-deposited. I then lecture her (for the second time in a few months) on the correct way to account for the deposits at the bank, that we are only to use the dollar amounts on the bank’s deposit receipt. (The first time was her getting the deposit amount from what was written on the deposit slip instead of what the bank gave us credit for on their printed receipt. The bank had shorted us $500, & we never knew until her deposits didn’t work out when reconciling the bank statement at the end of the month. We were missing $500 for 4 weeks! It’s a miracle we didn’t overdraw the account.)
Another task that we do several days a week is checking the CFPB website. This is a government website that uses federal regulations to monitor financial institutions. It’s like the Better Business Bureau, but more official. Customers can make complaints through them, prompting an investigation to make sure we’re following the federal guidelines. We have 2 weeks to respond to a complaint before it is past due.
On Feb 29, Greg just happens to be looking at an email inbox that he never checks, ‘cause after all, we’re checking the CFPB website, so he doesn’t have to look there, right? There is a complaint in 2 of the portals that have been in there since Jan 22. He immediately marches out & tells Sally about them.
Greg: Aren’t you checking the CFPB sites?
Sally: Yeah, I am.
Really? Then how come you didn’t print this complaint off to give to Greg in the last 6 weeks? She came back from lunch to a second warning write up given by me for negligence.
On Mar 5 (Tuesday), we are working on reconciling the bank statements so we can close the month of Feb. Sally brings me a Jan bank statement for an office.
Sally: This never cleared in Feb.
I look at the bank statement. It’s an electronic deposit of $254 on Jan 31. I remember this. She had asked me at the beginning of Feb why this deposit wasn’t recorded on the office’s report. I explained that since it didn’t show up in the bank account until the last day of Jan, they might not have known about it before the end of the month & so recorded it on the first of Feb. We will wait until the first report of Feb. If it’s still not recorded, then we’ll bring that to the office’s attention. & here she is, clearly telling me she hadn’t brought it to anyone’s attention all month long.
Me: (staring at the bank statement as I try to prevent my autistic brain from exploding at her while also trying to prevent a spontaneous stroke) You didn’t keep track of this all month?
Sally: Well, I didn’t know if it was treated differently ‘cause it was OTBP (One Time Bill Pay, which is the electronic deposit). (Oh, what a shocker, she once again didn’t know how to do something.)
Me: But we talked about this. If it wasn’t on the first of the month, we needed to address it.
Sally: Okay, well, now I know that we treat this the same as other deposits. (goes nonchalantly back to her desk like it was no big deal, like she hadn’t just revealed she had once again disobeyed my detailed instructions)
Me: (seeing her flagrant disregard for the seriousness of the situation & wondering just how on earth she could once again think that not doing her job would have no consequences) This is exactly what Greg talks about over & over, about how we can’t leave errors like this to sit for weeks & weeks, that these need to be dealt with as they happen.
Sally: (still as easy-going as if she had simply used the wrong color highlighter) Okay, I’ll make note of that.
Now, I am getting really pissed off. She keeps saying, “Oh, now I know that OTBP is treated the same as everything else.” That doesn’t matter! It doesn’t matter that you didn’t know it’s treated the same! I specifically told you to take care of it if it didn’t appear on the first of Feb! It didn’t matter what kind of deposit it was! I said to tell me if it wasn’t on the first of Feb!
Now, this was right before she leaves at 3:30, so by the time I’m finished with my text conversation with Greg (‘cause he isn’t there that afternoon), she has already left. But I’m telling Greg that I have once again caught her being negligent, & she’s already had 2 written warnings about this, which means our next step is letting her go. Not to mention, her carelessness is still continuing. He said that he supports my decision to let her go. By the way, the final decision happened an hour after she left. If I had known before she left that we were indeed going to fire her, I would have done it before she left so she didn’t have to come all the way to work in the morning just to leave again.
So, on Mar 6 (Wednesday), I arrive early to work so I can be prepared. I am standing at my desk, watching her come in. This is unusual, so she frowns as she approaches me.
Me: Sally, we need to talk.
Sally: (still frowns at me)
Me: (handing her the typed up notice) We are going to read this together. “When reconciling the month of Jan, around Feb 5, it was brought to my attention that we had a deposit that hadn’t been reconciled. I gave you instructions to wait a report to see if it works out. If not, you would need to bring it to mine & the office’s attention for further instructions. This wasn’t done. It wasn’t until Mar 5 that you brought this to my attention again. You have been told many times the importance of reconciling the financials of the office. You have been warned several times of negligence. This is another example of negligence with respect to your job. All you had to do was follow my instructions. It is for this reason that it is now time to terminate your employment.”
Sally: When did you tell me to do this?
Me: (thinking, “Um, I kinda just told you when I told you do that, but, okay.”) When you showed me the Jan bank statement—
Sally: Yesterday?!
Me: You showed me the Jan bank statement a month ago when you were reconciling Jan. I told you to wait for the first of Feb & then—
Sally: You did no such thing!
Me: Yes, I did, Sally.
Sally: When does Greg get here?
Me: Around 9, like usual.
Sally: I’m calling him, ‘cause this is ridiculous. You’ve had it out for me from the very beginning.
Me: No, I haven’t.
Sally: Yeah, you have. Just like the other 2. (sets her bags at the front door, goes outside, & calls Greg)

1. How could I have had it out for you from the very beginning when we didn’t have problems for the first year & a half you worked here? If I’d had it out for you from the beginning, you wouldn’t have had a job the past 6 months. Need I remind you what Greg told you about the timesheet thing being something we fire someone for on the spot, but that Molly had gone to bat for you & gave you a second chance? Why would I have done that if I had wanted you gone from the start?
   
2. “Just like the other 2.” She’s talking about Irene (who had left in Feb 2023) & another employee (who we’ll call Phil). Phil had been fired (by Greg, by the way) for continuing to watch movies on his phone at his desk despite being told multiple times by Greg to not do that. & Irene? She wasn’t fired. She gave her 2 weeks’ notice. & we then discovered when going through the work she’s been doing as we started taking over her tasks that she didn’t just not do jobs. She would actually forge the work so she wouldn’t have to work. “A bank imbalance of $2.65? Well, I’ll just add it to the imbalance that’s been building up for who knows how many months & just label it as an over-deposit from the end of the month. That way, I don’t have to look into why the bank isn’t balancing.” But no, I had it out for them, apparently.
   
3. Does she really think that calling Greg was gonna reverse my firing her? Does she really think I would do something as drastic as writing her up or firing her without discussing it with my supervisor first? Did she really think I would do this behind his back?
   

Apparently, she did, ‘cause Greg confirmed that Sally tried telling him about all the stuff I’ve been doing to her as if he didn’t know. She hung up on him when he explained that he’s been told everything as it happens & he supports this decision.
Sally: (storming back into the office & towards her desk) I’m not signing anything.
Me: Ok.
Sally begins packing up her desk. I had known she kept a lot of personal items at the office, so I had gotten a big box or 2 out & placed them nearby for her to use to pack up her desk.
Me: We can give you a box if you need it.
Sally: I don’t need sh** from you guys.
Me: The only thing we’ll need is your office key.
Sally: You’ll get it when you get it. I’m packing my desk.
Me: Ok.
I go back to work, keeping an eye on her as she packs to make sure she doesn’t take anything she’s not supposed to or damage any company property. Sally at some point decides to use the boxes she didn’t want from us to pack up her many items. She takes both boxes to the front door where her bags are & sets them down to put the last of her things in. She picks up one box to take outside.
Sally: You are the worst manager ever. (goes out the door)
Me: (shrug)
Sally: (comes back in for the final box) Seriously, you’re the most evil person I’ve ever met. (leaves)
Really? I rank worse than the guy that beat you up? I’m worse than him?
I continued watching her to see if she’s going to come back to give up her office key. As she packed up her car, another employee had arrived (we’ll call him Randy). He had run into her on the way in & asks me if Sally quit. I explained, no, she was let go. I then see that Sally has gotten behind the wheel of her car without coming back to give us the office key.
Me: Well, I guess we’ll just change the locks.
Randy then takes it upon himself to go out to her car. He phrased it very gently by saying he wanted to spare her having to come back in to turn the key in.
Sally: I guess Molly didn’t have the balls to do it herself. (hands the key over)
& then…she was gone. Despite having to do the entire corporate office’s work all by myself & falling steadily behind little by little, I have never been more happy. I had forgotten how much I loved my job & how much I couldn’t wait to get to work. I haven’t been this stress-free in 6 months, & it feels fantastic! & the great part is, I’m not really falling as far behind as I expected to without her. Having to do 2 people’s jobs by myself is only affecting me a little. Really goes to show you how bad she was for the company & for my job when she disrupted everything that much. For example, me & her would get through maybe 5 to 6 offices’ reports between us in a single day when playing catch up after closing the previous month. One day? I caught up on 10 offices’ reports in a single day. By myself.
Oh, did I mention she smoked marijuana most days on her way to work or while on her lunch break? We could never actually prove it. But, come on, you don’t smell that strongly of marijuana on only select days if you aren’t smoking it recently. If it was leftover from the smell of your house or car, you would smell like that every day. But it was only some days she would come into work or back from lunch smelling like that. Obviously, smoking on the job. So very glad to be rid of her & her awful skunk smell. Although, I do wish her well on a new job search. I don’t wish ill on anyone, ever. But I am just glad she’s no longer my problem to deal with.
(Added 2 months after she was fired): By the way, I am actually gaining on my work. I’m not only not behind on my work, I’m actually getting it done soon enough to work on extra stuff. Also, out of the blue, we’ve started getting about 3 to 4 sales & scam calls every day since Sally left (for things like better Medicare benefits, better retirement benefits, & even one time recently where “Walgreens” was calling to ask if I still had diabetes). I’m convinced Sally signed us up for calls as retaliation. I hope they die down soon, especially as they are starting to get rude. (Our response to every one of these is “Sorry, this is a business.” This one guy responded to me with, “This is my job.” I said, “I understand this is your job, but this is a business. I am not allowed to take personal calls.” He said, “Why?” I said very slowly & firmly, “Because I’m working!” He started to say, “Can you explain to me why—” I hung up. Jerk.)

Oh, boy, Charlotte, do I have a doozy for you. It’s such a doozy that it comes in 2 parts. I guess it would qualify as petty revenge, since that’s the only flair that fit, but it’s more of an entitled Karen story.
For the sake of telling the story a little smoother, I'm going to explain some things up front. I (female, early 30s; let's call me Molly) am the manager in the accounting office of a very small loan company. Like, really small. We have less than 30 offices with only 2 employees at each office. For this reason, we are kind of low-tech, old-fashioned. I'm talking paper timesheets that get faxed to our office (we're also the corporate office that handles the payroll). Our office hours are 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. with a half-hour lunch. Me & my employee (who we'll call Sally) work this shift. Our boss (who we'll call Greg) is the owner & CEO. He works in the office starting at 9:00 a.m. till whenever he leaves for the day. Most of the time, that's around the time we leave, sometimes it's earlier due to errands he needs to run.
So, in Oct 2022, Sally (female, early 30s) gave us a note that her doctor wants to have daily appointments with her indefinitely. She let us know she would need to leave at 3:30 every day. Greg granted that request & even gave her the opportunity to come in early so she didn't miss any of her 8 hours each day. So, she began coming to work between 6:45 & 7:00 & would take however long of a lunch she needed to so she would have an 8-hour day.
Due to a combination of our fiscal year-end work in Oct & Nov 2022, playing catch-up from Dec 2022 to Feb 2023, & the other coworker (who we'll call Irene) leaving the company in Feb 2023 so we had to play catch-up again for several months before we got used to the bigger workload, I hadn't been able to pay too close attention to Sally's work. But in the middle of Aug 2023, I began to suspect her. I realized that the tasks Sally had in the morning would usually take me an hour & a half to do, which meant I would be relatively finished by the time I would arrive at 8:30. Sally, on the other hand, would only have stuff halfway done. Now, I knew Sally worked slower than me since I knew the job better than she did, but this still seemed very slow. I began to suspect Sally was either not arriving as early as she said she was (she was the only one in the office before 8:30) or she was arriving on time but wasn't working.
On Aug 21 (Monday), I decided to come in early to the office since I had to make up time due to a doctor appointment later in the week. So, I arrived at work at 6:40. 6:45 rolled around...no Sally. 6:50...no Sally. 7:00...same thing. Sally arrived at 7:20. Now, ok, maybe she ran into traffic. However, that's a bit of a coincidence that the one day I show up early unannounced is also the day she happens to be late. But I waited to see what time Sally would write down on the timesheet. However, she didn't write down her time until Tuesday right before she left. She had written down that she had arrived at 7:05. I asked her about it, and her response was "I must have copied it down wrong from my spreadsheet." That's strange, 'cause you hadn't arrived at 7:05 any other day that week. Just where did you copy it down from?
Now, I am curious as to what time Sally puts down when she believes no one has seen what time she arrives. So, for Sept 4-15, I would arrive in the parking lot across the street & read a book & eat breakfast while I wait to see what time Sally would arrive. Every single day, she would arrive around 7:15 or 7:20, but would write down 6:45 or 6:50, a half hour discrepancy every single day. & we have no way of knowing how long she's been stealing a half hour every day. She could have been doing this for the past year since her schedule changed.
On Sept 18, I write down Sally's actual times from these 2 weeks on a paper & tell her to correct all the times I indicated. Sally says that she will use the office clock to write down her times from now on. Wait a minute, you're saying that your phone is a half hour earlier than the rest of the world? But only when you arrive at work. When you go to lunch & leave work, it matches the rest of the clocks. & then switches during the night so your arrival time can be wrong again the next day? Wow, that's a pretty glitchy phone you got there.
On Sept 20 after Sally left, I installed a camera that connects to an app in my phone. I put the camera in a place where it wouldn't be able to see any computers/paperwork & turned off the microphone (I didn't want to risk any company info being seen/heard). I only needed to see when Sally arrived. Where I ended up placing it, I was able to see Sally where she sat at her desk.
On three of the following days, Sally would arrive 10 to 15 minutes after the time she would write down. I speak with Greg about this, & we decide to write her up. By the way, usually when an employee is caught forging the timesheet like this, it's an immediate termination. At any other office, she would have gotten fired in the beginning of Sept after I first discovered the half hour forgery. I am deciding to give her a chance to make this whole thing right.
On Sept 26 (Tuesday), I give Sally the write up when she arrives.
Sally: I'll sign it, but I don't know why. I mean, I get here at 7:00. (Ok, there's a sign right there. Who signs an official write up when their employer is lying or setting them up?)
Me: I've observed you arriving between 7:10 & 7:15.
Sally reads the write up & then keeps it at her desk for a bit after signing it. After plenty of time, I ask for it back. She grabs it, so I lean forward & hold my hand out (our desks are right next to each other), but Sally flings it at my desk. The whole thing is made better by the fact that Greg is out of town Tuesday thru Thursday. So, Sally proceeds to be angry & have an attitude all the way through Thursday. She refuses to talk or answer the phones. She does that tossing/flicking-papers-around, aggressive-typing, heavily-setting-things-down thing people do when they're frustrated or angry (which she did all...day...long). She sped out of the parking lot & down the street so fast that I could hear her engine rev & tires squeal from inside the building.
On Sept 27 (Wednesday), Sally is still doing that slamming things thing. I enjoy not responding to her whatsoever. I could see out of the corner of my eye that she would slam something down & look at me. I wouldn't give any kind of reaction, wouldn't look at her, & it would piss her off. Sally would then start slamming things around again. I admit, that was fun.
On Sept 28 (Thursday), I see on the camera that Sally arrives at 7:00, but then I watch her sit on her phone for 45 minutes! She is still having attitude issues, &—unbelievably—is still slamming things. After she leaves for the day, I then see the calendar that Sally keeps on her desk as I was passing by. On the box for Sept 26 (the day she was written up), she had written the words "F***ING JOKE!". The audacity of her to write that in plain view of everyone in the office & think she wouldn't get in trouble for it.
On Sept 29 (Friday), Sally arrives at 7:00 but sits on her phone for 30 minutes WHILE VAPING! (Not sure about other cities or states, but it's illegal to smoke or vape inside a building in the city where our office is.) But Greg is back this day, & I had been texting him what's been going on. He had texted back he wanted to do a meeting on Friday. So, the 3 of us go into the breakroom for a meeting.
Greg: So, Sally, what's been going on with this timesheet thing?
Sally: I just, I forget to write down the time when I arrive.
Greg: Ok, well, whether it's done on purpose or through negligence, we can't have wrong times on the timesheet. So, from now on, you won't be able to come to work before Molly gets here at 8:30. Now, are there any other problems you'd like to discuss with us?
Sally: (begins getting worked up) I just, I feel like I can't talk to her. She creates such a hostile work environment.
Now, I am blown away. Me? Hostile? I'm autistic, so I'm naturally shy & hate socializing, so I usually don't talk to anyone very much. Everyone I tell this story to, their eyes widen when I mention this, 'cause there's no way anyone would ever describe me as hostile.
Luckily, Greg interrupts her to defend me: This isn't a hostile work environment.
Sally: (backpedaling) Well, I mean, she gets mad at her printer & bangs on it, & that just flashes me back to stuff. I mean, I'm trying to work on myself & the anxiety, & she just sends me back.
Oh, so now, we're claiming we have PTSD & that my "violent" actions are giving her flashbacks? Um, who is it laughing right along with me every time my printer jams? (By the way, I know she's lying about the PTSD, 'cause I have a couple friends with PTSD & recognize the signs. Sally doesn't show any sign of fear or panic or shrinking away from things, nothing like that. There are no signs whatsoever of her being alarmed by anything I do.) Oh, not to mention the double standards. You're allowed to slam things around (for 3 straight days, by the way), but I'm not?
Anyway, we wrap up the meeting after Greg underlines (for Sally's benefit) that everyone in the office needs to get along.
On Oct 2 (the next Monday), I had a good drive & happened to get there at 8:20. Sally arrives at 8:25 & comes in, stopping at my desk.
Sally: (annoyed) Are you gonna be early all week?
Me: (frowning & caught off-guard) Um, I don't know. It just depends how long my drive takes.
Sally: (with a snarky attitude) 'Cause I had to keep driving around waiting for you, so if you're gonna be early, I'd like to know.
Ok, first of all, no one is forcing you to drive around. You can park your car in the parking lot. Do you really think we're gonna fire you for sitting in the parking lot while you wait for me? We only said you couldn't come in & work before I do. & second, it's none of your business when I get to work. My shift starts at 8:30, therefore, you should aim for 8:30, just like Greg told you to do. How am I supposed to predict the exact minute I get to work? & you're gonna get angry at me 'cause I didn't show up before my shift starts? Since when is it a requirement of mine to come into work before I start working?
Well, a bit of malicious compliance in this entitled story: if I can see I'm going to arrive at work more than 5 minutes early, I stop at the store just down the road & shop until 8:30. 'Cause guess what? Sally gets there who knows how early & sits in the gas station across the street, waiting for me. Fine, you wanna be that way? I can be petty, too.
By the way, Sally has a radio talk show she listens to from before I get to work until it ends at 10:00. I'm not into talk shows, but it wasn't too annoying (most of the time), so I didn't say anything about it. The reason why I started having a problem listening to it was that they would get into inappropriate things (s** toy review, for example). It made me super uncomfortable when they did segments like this. From the moment Sally was written up, she started only listening to the show on her headphones, thinking she was punishing me by me not getting to hear the show. Joke's on her. Sally did me a favor by not having to listen to that thing.
Sally was also told that she is no longer allowed to take smoke breaks on the clock. As no one else in the office takes breaks but chooses to work through them, this change would be made so all employees were equal now. But here’s the interesting thing: Sally suddenly stopped taking smoke breaks at all, but her bathroom breaks grew more numerous & longer. When she had been taking smoke breaks, the alarm on her phone would go off at specific times, such as 2:00. She would then go outside to take her smoke break. After the on-the-clock-smoke-break privilege was taken away, the same alarms would go off, such as 2:00. She would then disappear to the bathroom for 15 minutes. & I even smelled smoke in there when I went in there right after one of these long bathroom breaks.
Ever since the write up, there’s been attitude every once in a while. Most of the time, I have no idea what it is I did that could possibly have set her off that day. All I know is that Sally’s suddenly slamming things around again (hmm, PTSD cured now, is it?). & she’s still constantly making mistakes (like she’s always done).
On Nov 27, Sally is working on the Funding (loan proceeds funded onto a customer’s debit card). What we do is get the list of customers, determine how much the office funded that customer, transfer the money from the office’s bank account to the holding account, & then transfer the total from the holding account to the account that directly funds the debit cards to replenish the money. We had two customers with similar names (say, John Smith & Jack Smith). Sally hadn’t paid attention to the whole name & had applied John’s $0 funding to Jack. However, Jack had been funded $250. So, that money was missed, & I had to make a separate transfer for it.
On Dec 4, Sally is working on the Funding & writes down $0 for a customer. But the report from the office says he actually got $96.
On Dec 8 & 9, we discovered 2 checks that were supposed to be sent to our office (one from Oct, one from Sept). Neither had been cashed, & neither had ever reached us, even though we had the rest of the paperwork that would have come with those checks. Due to the dots I had connected, I had a pretty strong hunch that Sally wasn’t thoroughly checking the mail envelopes to make sure they’d been completely emptied before they got thrown away. I believed these checks were still in some envelopes that were then thrown away by Sally.
On Dec 11, on the bank reconciliation sheets we work at the end of the month (like balancing a checkbook), one of Sally’s offices was out of balance by $68, & she couldn’t find it. I couldn’t find it, either. I pulled out the one done for the month before. I couldn’t find it there, either. But I did notice one thing. The checks that hadn’t cleared the bank yet didn’t add up to the total amount of outstanding checks Sally had written down. By $68. I go back to the month before that one. There were a total of $68 in old checks that never got cashed & therefore should have gotten written off on the fiscal year-end at the end of Oct. But she hadn’t transferred them to the new month’s sheet. So, now, we have to hold onto them for a whole year to write off next Oct.
The same day, I went through all the offices to double check the GL codes that we post the expense checks to (GL codes determine where an expense gets coded, e.g., post an electricity payment to the GL code for utilities). The day previously, Sally had gotten several GL codes incorrect in the Miller office. She had forgotten to change the codes from the one for the Checkbook to the ones for the expense account. She had caught those ones since it affected the balance of the Checkbook, so I had helped her fix those properly. However, there were expense checks sent to a GL code that wasn’t the right one that Sally hadn’t caught.
I talk with Greg, as I feel that every time I turn around, I am either retraining Sally on stuff I’ve trained her on multiple times, I’m correcting mistakes on stuff Sally should know how to do by now (‘cause again, I’ve trained her multiple times), or I’m disciplining Sally about stuff she’s doing wrong. Greg asks how many mistakes due to carelessness she’s made in the last 2 weeks. I check my notes & tell him 4. He says that’s too excessive for an accounting office. We need to write her up.
So, I made the write up, but I just know I’m going to be dealing with the same attitude as the last time I had to write her up. & guess what? Greg’s out of town till Thursday again. I used my phone this time to record the audio of the interaction. That way, if Sally has attitude towards me again, I’m able to play the recording to Greg so he can hear what Sally’s like when he’s not here (which is why the following conversation is pretty much word for word).
On Dec 12 (Tuesday), I sat her down first thing.
Me: So, in the past couple weeks, I’ve noticed some errors happening due to carelessness, & they’ve become a bit excessive for an accounting office. The most important thing in an accounting office is accuracy. That’s why we focus so much on thoroughness & attention to detail. So, whatever needs to happen to lessen those errors, whether it’s slowing the pace of the work itself or double & triple-checking the work before it’s finished, it needs to happen. For example, when I work the payroll, after I get the total for all the offices, I then subtract each person’s individual hours to double check my entries. That way, if there is an error, at least I know it wasn’t ‘cause I was going too fast or not paying attention or something. So, whatever you need to do to decrease the mistakes, please—
Sally: What errors are we talking about?
Me: I have a page here with the items from the last couple weeks. (hand her the write up)
Sally: (reads the pages for a minute) Ok…
Me: So, whatever you need to do to—
Sally: (talking quickly ‘cause she’s pissed now) I’m gonna need more time & focus strictly on Funding. I don’t wanna touch mail, I don’t wanna touch anything else. I wanna focus strictly on that. ‘Cause I’m getting 80 plus a day (which was a lie, we never get nearly that much), & now, I’m gonna start getting in trouble if it’s not 110%. I am human. I will make mistakes. So, if that’s not allowed, then…(shrugs) let me know, I guess. I’ll talk to Greg & I guess figure something out. I am human, & I am gonna make mistakes, A. B, I feel like crap. He (Greg) has been in here sick the last week. I caught whatever he has. I’ve been hacking. I’ve been sicker than sh** the last week. I am trying. You guys usually have until the 12th to close the month. Since I’ve worked here, I’ve closed before the 8th. Yeah, I made mistakes. I told you I made a mistake on the Miller office. I knew what happened. So, to throw it in my face again that I already made that mistake is kinda rude, but…(shrugs) I’m actually kinda shocked to see that on there.
Me: Well, you did catch the errors involving the Checkbook, but there were other mistakes on that office that you didn’t catch, & that’s the reason that was listed on there.
Sally goes back to her work, & I decide to not ask her to sign the write up I had given her right away since she was diving right into the Funding. She had expressed she wanted to focus solely on it to minimize mistakes. I wanted to use positive reinforcement to convey that this was good behavior & good thinking, so I decided to wait for her to finish before asking her to sign & return the write up.
Now, here’s the issues with her little outburst above.

1. Sally is complaining that she’s human & makes mistakes & we’re not allowing mistakes. We’re not saying that she can’t make mistakes, ‘cause she’s right. Everyone makes mistakes; I make mistakes. What we’re saying is that she’s making mistakes much too often.
   
2. Sally says the reason for these mistakes the last 2 weeks is ‘cause she’s been sick the last week or so ‘cause she caught what Greg had (do you see the timing problem there?). Also, these kinds of mistakes have been happening for months & months. I only brought these examples up ‘cause they were recent.
   
3. Sally pointed out the fact that she closes each month really quick. We don’t care how fast things get done. Our goal isn’t to get things done quickly but to get things done accurately. If we happen to get it done quickly, that’s just a bonus. We would rather things go slow than to have errors causing problems or costing us money ‘cause we didn’t take the time to make sure it was correct.
   
4. Sally states it’s rude that I’m throwing her error back in her face (you already know my reaction to that). She obviously doesn’t know how a job works. Just ‘cause we discussed this error already doesn’t mean it can’t go on the write up. This is just one of the examples that required us to do a write up. We’re not doing this ‘cause we want to write you up or that we’re looking for excuses to get you in trouble. We’re doing our job. If a situation needs correcting, we have to correct it. We can’t just ignore it. & obviously, me talking about your errors all these months hasn’t helped. You’re still making the same mistakes. So, now, we’ve had to escalate to a write up on paper.
   

Sally doesn’t say another word. She, as expected, starts doing her tossing-things-‘cause-I’m-pissed-off thing. I just go back to my work. I’ve said my piece, now we can put it behind us & move on.
Now, we have until 10:30 to make the transfers for this Funding program in order to get the money back to the account the same day. We are still missing the paperwork for 2 customers from an office. (FYI, when we’re missing paperwork, we call the office & ask them to fax it. If we still don’t get it when it gets close to the transfer deadline, we call again & just ask for the amount to get it done.) So, at 10:20, Sally turns to me.
Sally: What do I do for these 2 customers? Do I just skip them?
Me: (frowning) Do what you usually do when you don’t have the paperwork in time. Call the office—
Sally: (in a sharp tone) I did. (she’s assuming I mean call the office to tell them to fax it)
Me: (ignoring her attitude outburst) Call up the office & ask for the dollar amounts.
Sally: But I don’t want to write down the amount without seeing the actual paperwork. If I’m gonna get in trouble for errors now, I don’t want to take down what could be the wrong dollar amount over the phone. I mean, I think that’s only fair to me.
Me: In the instances that were mentioned, they weren’t cases of taking down an amount over the phone. They were instances where we had paperwork or a report to see the amount. We would never write you up if there was a possibility that the office gave you the wrong amount over the phone.
Sally stares at me for a second & turns back to her desk. I turn back to my own work as Sally then calls up the office. I had to deal with her attitude the rest of the day: throwing mail into the mailbox, throwing open the letter folding machine so it made a big bang on the table. I was trying to still be the usual friendly, professional person I am at work; I told her “See you tomorrow” & everything. Sally wouldn’t talk to me unless she had to.
This is when I discovered that Sally has a habit of lashing out at me when she gets in trouble. The first write up involved her trying to drag me under the bus by claiming I’m hostile. This time, it was more personal. See, we do a Christmas gift exchange at the office; we each buy each other a gift. I had searched over & over trying to find something Sally would like. I finally found this desk calendar with gnomes on it (she likes both of these things), so I got it & a couple small items. I open my gift from Sally, & among a few cheap little things, I found…Sally’s own nearly empty bottle of nail polish remover. Wow, this is the thanks I get for not firing you back in Sept with the whole timesheet forgery thing?
& this is where I leave you until Part 2, the conclusion.

I know what you're thinking - Who could need coaching on Moira? Almost everyone who plays her because they all play her wrong for different reasons. Moira is one of the most simple and straightforward heroes to pick up, but that works against her at each rank.
Lower-ranked players rely on her forgiving mechanics to compete with players having better mechanics but still suffer from poor positioning and cool-down usage (like using Fade as a crutch for standing in the open all the time). Lower-ranked players are also conditioned to heal-bot lest their team chastise them for doing any damage.
Higher-ranked players usually lack timing, opportunity recognition and engagement, and struggle to get value from her when switching to Baptiste would instantly get more value. Moira's forgiving mechanics are a disadvantage in the higher ranks because it takes about three seconds to max her mechanical capabilities, so she is overshadowed by more mechanically intensive heroes.
I have several thousand hours on Moira and have played and coached her at every rank (Bronze 5 to Top 500), and closing in on 200 published VOD review videos. I offer constructive criticism (no roasting!) and actionable advice that helps you in every match, not just the one you shared.
If you want a review, submit a replay to this Google Forms link:
Submit a replay!
To view my completed reviews, they are organized by rank here:
Completed Video Reviews

Sorry in advance for the really long post.
This all began at the start of 2022. I had a seizure in January but didn't know it at the time. March 2022, I have a seizure at a job site and get fired because of it (the company pulled some shady stuff to avoid me suing them for discrimination. Nice.) but was sent to a neuro who gave me Keppra. Bad idea. One of the worst drugs I have ever taken, you couldn't get me to touch that drug again if you paid me. So we switched to Vimpat. It worked well enough for a while (until it didn't) but it still gave me side effects. I didn't want to kill myself or fight strangers, but I didn't feel right. I still felt so heavy, and almost like a brick was inside my brain; I wasn't foggy, I was just downright incapable of understanding somethings. So then we switched to Lamictal. Then zonisamide with the Lamictal. And that didn't work, so we keep trying. Now I'm on Briviact and Lamictal, I've been seizure free for over three months now (the longest time since the start of January 2023! But it's taken us so long to get there, and I hated being a guinea pig and having to take six different medicines before we found a cocktail that seems to work.
Now, the stupidity. Much of my identity is based in my language skills (both in my native tongue, English, as well as my second languages) as well as my writing. Obviously there's much more to my life than just those things, much more than that, but that plays a big part in just who LinguisticHappiness is (name makes sense, huh?). But I can hardly think anymore. Lucky me that my TLE hits my language centers the hardest and I'm more or less globally aphasic when I'm in my post-ictal state. I trip over my words all the time. I make speech errors I never made before, like metathesis is my new chum the way it comes with me everywhere. I can't translate my feelings or thoughts into words. People who know me know how I am and understand this and feel for me, but when I meet new people now they assume I'm just a dumbass. I had a coworker talk down to me and try to explain how to speak English better and how to sound smarter. That was very much a confirmation of my fears. I forget what's happening all the time now. I'm a regular cannabis consumer, but I've cut down on it a whole lot since it gives me awful brain fog in tandem with the anticonvulsants, understandably. That hasn't helped a whole lot. Even removing the cannabis a lot, my short term memory is awful. I could be stone cold sober, put something down on the table, and five seconds later have absolutely no idea where it went. If I get slightly distracted in a conversation, the topic leaves my head just as fast as (or even faster than) it popped up in my head in the first place. I'm forgetting words more and more. I'm forgetting conversations I had even an hour prior. I'm forgetting basic information about people I met months ago. I started taking jiu jitsu classes recently and before all this I never had a problem seeing something and translating it to movement of my own body, and now I have difficulty sometimes following simple directions from the instructor.
I feel like a fucking moron. My brain feels more and more useless by the day. Someone else posted a day or two ago about how epilepsy has taken a lot from their life and how their "ideal" lifestyle (from the doctor's POV) would be dull and uninteresting, and ultimately unachievable. No stress, 8+ hours of sleep every night, never missing a dose, never touching alcohol, never staying up late, never going on hikes by yourself again... What's the point of taking these medicines if they're just going to make me miserable? Why try to improve my quality of life in one area just to worsen it in another? Why do I have to put all these chemicals into my brain when other people don't? Why can other people just get up and go traveling to whatever country they want whenever they want while I need to check with foreign governments to make sure I can bring my medicine and how to do that and I can't?
For someone who has difficulty translating her thoughts into words, I sure did say a lot. Sorry again for the essay. I just haven't been able to talk about this with anybody who understands it. Even though things are marginally better with the pharmaceutical cocktail I'm on now, but it's far from perfect and I still end up crying a night or two each week from this. This life I live now is much better than living in constant fear of seizures, scared that "uh oh, I feel a little woozy, do I need to warn someone and get down on the floor and take my Ativan right now?" but it's far from perfect and still not at all like life was before. I hate living in fear. I hate feeling like a complete idiot. I hate feeling trapped and limited. Even here I feel like there's so much I'm forgetting to say. Fuck epilepsy and fuck anticonvulsants.
Thank you for taking the time to read this, guys. I really appreciate all of you.

Sorry, guys. I think I cursed your Sounders by starting to root for them. My brother-in-law has season tickets up there and was back home last year and I watched a game with him (one of the Timbers games). A Sounder scored a goal and took his jersey off in celebration and got carded for it. Which I think is a bogus thing to do but whatever. Sounders were up 2-0 then said player got carded in an iffy tackle that didn’t really deserve a card hit the ref just wanted to red card him I guess. Seattle were down to ten men and quickly gave up two scores. Probably lucky it didn’t end worse.
Then last night happened. How does the same thing happen on both sides of the pitch and the Sounders get penalized and lose a player to red card, but Vancouver is just whatevs? Again, sorry y’all, but I think I’ve cursed your team forever.
Anyway, Go Sounders!

Hello all,
I currently need some advice on how to go about this.
I’ve been dating this guy who I met on Hinge for a little more than a month and a half now. Things were going pretty well until his ex girlfriend was brought up. He had plans from a few months ago to see her for his birthday next week. He canceled the trip since he met me however, I came across her Twitter. She told me that they were still together when he was on Hinge back in March. She also told me that he’s been keeping in contact with him and even knew where he was this past weekend which was at his parents house. She told me he shared his location with her. When I asked him about it he said they ended months ago and told me he began sharing his location with her over a year ago and forgot to turn it off. She also knew about the dates we’ve gone on and said he posted a picture of us on his Instagram story one time. However, he told me he had deleted Instagram and no longer used it. I searched his account up and found it. But it’s on private. When I brought this up to him he told me that what she said wasn’t true and she probably knew where he was cause again, he was still sharing his location with her. If you read through her tweets, all she talks about how he’s still begging for her to stay in his life. He claims everything she’s saying is a lie, she’s psycho, and bitter. He also claims that he doesn’t talk to her anymore and has her blocked on everything but for some reason, I don’t believe him. I refuse to believe she still tweets about him this much for no reason without them still being in contact. He tells me that this is her way of “sabotaging ” his new relationships or whatever. I feel like ever since this has been brought up, he’s been acting different towards me. He claims that he only has eyes for me and blah, blah, blah but this just makes it difficult to believe that. I’m not sure what to do at this point, but if you were in my position what would you do? Believe her and leave him? Or believe him and look past this?

Considering Typhon is a central threat, this season showcased some famous monsters connected to his and Echidna's mythos: a cameo of Cerberus, those three Chimeras (I know, he one on the right reminds of a griffin, but it's clearly meant to be be similar to those other two creatures), the three-headed Hydra and the Sphynx. In S1 Seraphim also rode a chimera and had a "cerberus" in his ranks, which makes me think there are multiple beasts with similar features, maybe a secondary generazione of sort
There a various versions of the myths of course, and Blood of Zeus takes its own path and interpretations, but I guess it would make sense to simply that these dangerous beasts as off-springs or descendants of the Father of Monsters, which also makes me think: will the reawakening of Typhon effect the monsters of the Greek? Similarly to how Zeus's death brought chaos, with creatures like the Keres hunting the living instead of feasting only on the corpses.

I got my eyebrow and labret piercings done 3-4 weeks ago.
I don’t know if my eyebrow piercing is rejecting or if the bar is too long? My eyebrow piercing does leak white/transparent fluid from time to time!
My labret piercing is a little sore still, only when i catch it on my teeth while talking/eating, but that’s very rare i catch it now! The inside of it looks like it’s going into my lip, i’m not too sure if it’s trying to reject or my lip is still swollen and i need a longer bar, this one also does leak white/transparent fluid, but very rare it does. I think the inside of my lip is just scar tissue but i’m not too sure if it’s infected or not.
I do saline on my piercings twice a day, and i also shower once a day also, so i don’t know if i’m exposing them too much with cleaning and they’re getting irritated or what?
I’ve got so many piercings off of my piercer and they’ve been fine. I know eyebrow piercings are a pain when it comes to healing and stuff, so i might just be paranoid about it rejecting and getting infected but i’d love for your guys opinions and advice! I’m mostly worried about my labret though!