Holiday recount example

i know many have asked this bt i feel like some points are missing (so imma ask everything) (Dear Seniors ik this are a lot of queries and answers gonna be long, bt i think this can really help future candidates, if you wanna add any more point feel free to do it)

1. CAMPUS LIFE ( This includes no of active clubs ,Co-curricular activities by clubs (with some example please) no of fests per year, no of hackathons avg in a month, Relationships, Diversity, Dress code, Alcohol/Drugs Accessibility, Is there any CPresident/Leader as in Department wise or batch wise)
2. FOOD (Inside college, Outside college how it is, do shops around the college speak Hindi/English)
3. SPORTS (Are there clubs dedicated to sports, are there sports teams, Do any INTER COLLEGE / INTER BRANCH competition is held, does it have a ground for sports inside the campus like for (Football, Cricket, Badminton,Basketball,Table Tennis, .. etc)
4. **PROFESSOR (**Are most of the professor Good, How is student-Professor relation, Can we connect to professor outside classes / college, what is proctor role, do they give assignments at anytime, consequences on failing to complete assignments, are they very strict, do all professors belong to Karnataka)
5. PLACEMENTS (Avg placement on campus/off campus for CSE/ECE, is the Placement cell active, who manages the placement cell, where placement interviews are held, what top companies come every year (not those who come once in a blue moon)
6. CONNECTIVITY (Area around the campus, Do they speak HIndi/English in shops near campus, Metro/Bus stands, Supermarket nearby any)
7. FRESHERS PARTY (Does it happen, where does it takes place, who organizes)
8. **HOLIDAYS (**How many long vacations you get like between semesters, summer break, winter break)
9. INTERNSHIPS (will college allow me to do internship (off campus) in any year, or they will resent due to attendance issue)
10. COLLEGE DRAMA (Did any incident ever happen like Fights, Police raids, protests, etc)
11. CODING CULTURE
12. EXAM (How many exams in a year, is it hard/med/easy, is it too competitive among students, is there relative grading, what happens if you get backlog)
13. PTM (ik its silly bt they dont happen ryt, is there any tracking app for parents)
14. FAREWELL (do they get a party or anything)
15. FINES (are there any fines on breaking rules, how strict are the rules, are they ridiculous)
16. FESTS
17. COLLEGE TIMINGS
18. FREE TIME FOR SELF LEARNING EVERYDAT
19. HANGOUT SPOTS IN COLLEGE
20. USE OF LAPTOP IN CLASSES
21. LABS CONDITIONS
22. LIBRARY/AUDITORIUM

I've got a holiday lined up and I need a few scifi/fantasy pageturners to lose myself in.
I noticed that I got super engrossed in short story collections by a single author. Examples include Neil Gaiman's collections or Ted Chiang's books. Even better if they follow the same characters, such as The Cyberiad or Tuf Voyaging.
Any recommendations?

Given the 3 methods to calculate Annual Leave, the practice of resetting at end of December or March, and the limit to carry over only 5 days: it seems it's just not possible to take vacations on January? while everyone will have the bulk of holidays on December.
For example, I could take a 20 day long vacation on December. But, it's just not possible to do the same in January.
Is this how the system works? or am I missing something or some understanding?

As he waited outside the Council's debriefing room, on the flagship 'The Scythe', Cotlu was nervously clutching his dossier in his frontal manipulators, mentally going over its content again and again. He was very excited about this case. Even if the data he collected and he was about to present was a bit strange, the potential was obvious. Cotlu was sure this would be the key to his long awaited promotion.
With a loud 'clank', the door to the debriefing room opened suddenly, startling Cotlu out of his promotion dreams. His name was called, and he hurriedly got up. Taking a deep breath, he straightened his posture and confidently stepped into the room.
There were 5 members on the Mutari Council for Development. They were in charge of deciding the directions in which the Mutari would spend their resources, for the benefit of the whole race. Basically, how it worked, was like this: scouting ships, such as Cotlu's own ship, were constantly probing the edges of the mapped universe. They would be looking for new planets to colonize or mine, for asteroids rich in rare minerals, or for anything that could be exploited really. In the chance that they would find anything worthwhile, and if exploiting the found resource would surpass the scouting ship's capabilities, the captain of the ship would documents as much as possible about his find, and present this information to the Council for Development. The Council would then decide if, and how many resources to allocate in exploiting the captain's find. Good finds would, more often than not, lead to promotions. Maybe even to the breeders cast! Needless to say, this way quite an incentive. Alas, the Universe is mostly a barren, cold space, and worthy finds are rare, and not always devoid of dangers.
Cotlu though, was sure that his latest discovery would be met with appreciation by the Council. He took a seat behind the table facing the Council, and carefully put his dossier in front of him. The members of the Council had, of course, each received a copy of his report, and had certainly studied it. This discussion, face to face, was meant to clear all unspecified or hazy details. There are always things that might not be in the classic report format, but the Council would be concerned or curious about. Because sometimes, the Universe is stranger than the imagination, and no report format would cover everything one could find out there.
"So, Captain Cotlu", said the most senior of the Council members, in a friendly voice. "We all had read your report, of course. It was... exciting, let's say", and he smiled. Cotlu was so delighted by the friendly tone, that he could barely hold still! This was a good sign indeed for his case!
"A new colonizable planet, huh?" continued the senior. "A bit shame it is already occupied by another sentient race, but, as I understand from your report, they should pose no major problems. What puzzles me is why did you not categorize this race as a resource, and you recommend we should just eliminate them. Isn't that wasteful?"
"Well sir" answered Cotlu, "as per protocol, we managed to extract, undetected, ten specimens of that species, from the planet in question. Of course, we extracted from different parts of the planet, different genders, different ages, different sizes, but all adults, in order to cover a wide spectrum of this species. From all these ten specimens, I found NONE that would be worth spending resources on, in keeping it alive, fed, guarded. I found them difficult to maintain in good health, very difficult to feed, weak, and a nightmare to understand... Not good for any labor. Not even good for breeding, so we can't even use them as livestock."
Looking at the body language of the Council members, Cotlu could see he did not convinced them, so he continued:
"Allow me to get into more details that are not into the report.
Our first surprise was that they spoke different languages. Between the ten specimens they spoke 6 different languages. On further questioning, we understood that there are more than 6000 different languages on the entire planet! We had to program six different translators, and not even then could we translate everything the creatures were saying. Imagine having 100 slaves from this species, and needing about 60 translators... Not worth it.
After we managed to communicate with them, we tried to feed them. Basic rations. Chalta meat, Goru grubs, Palik cheese. Half of the specimens did not touch the food. We found out that some of the specimens of this degrading species have lost the ability to process meat. They call this... disease of theirs 'veganism' or 'vegetarianism'. I failed to notice the difference between the two, but both meant that they cannot consume animal products such as meat. Some specimens even lost the ability to process dairies. This is how we... mmm... lost the first specimen. It ate its own ration of Palik cheese, then it ate the rations of the other specimens that didn't want to eat theirs. So, it ate too much of it."
"He died from eating cheese?", asked the senior member, incredulous.
"Well... not right away. After eating six portions of it, something began to... decompose inside its body. Then, gases resulted from that decomposition just... started to come out of his body at an higher and higher rate. In 30 minutes, the air purification system failed. And in one hour, you could feel the noxious fumes everywhere around the entire ship. We just threw the decaying specimen out the airlock. It was still alive when we stuffed it in the airlock, and claimed it's only temporary, but I was afraid that the fumes were toxic. We had two crew members pass out from them. Thankfully they recovered, once the back-up purification system cleared the air on the ship. Even the rest of the specimens were obviously glad when we removed the cheese damaged one."
"After this incident, we stopped feeding them cheese. Also, we stopped feeding meat to the ones sick with the 'veganism', for fear of a similar incidents. We just fed them Fala leaves, like we feed the Palik beasts at home. They ate some, but not very much. As you can imagine, from just a few leaves, the calories intake was rather poor, and the specimens feeding on them would surely not be good for any physical labor."
Cotlu could see that the Council Members were distressed by his explanations. They looked queasy, and did not comment. Just motioned at him to continue.
"After this, we started the interviews, to find out as much as possible about this species as a whole. And even if the technology we have seen on this planet indicates that the species is indeed sentient and intelligent, it seems to me that we discovered it at the point of decay, of downfall. These specimens were irrational. Their declarations were contradictory. They were either very confused, either very, very stupid. Their cognitive functions were rather poor, to put it mildly."
"This sounds very strange for a species that has advanced technology... Could you give us some concrete examples of irrational answers?" intervened another member of the Council.
"Of course. One of the specimens, for instance, refused to cooperate at all, and kept asking to 'see the manager'. I explained to it that I was the one in charge of the ship. It refused to accept this fact, and said that aliens did not exist, and just refused to acknowledge me. It thought this whole... experience was something orchestrated by its government, to distract it, personally, from seeing 'the truth'. I had no idea what truth it was talking about. No matter how I tried to demonstrate I was real, it kept saying I was either a 'fancy hologram', either something called a 'midget' in a costume. Honestly, I cannot comprehend how a sentient being can just... reject reality like that. From this specimen I could not extract any useful intelligence, as its mind seemed to be on a blockage of some sort. "
"Then we had another two interesting cases. As I specified in the report, this species has sexual dimorphism. They have males and females. Well, we had one male that claimed to be female, and one female that claimed to be both male and female. Despite the physical evidence on their own bodies, they would just refuse the reality, and became quite unruly if the matter was pressed. Again - a clear refusal of reality. How could these creatures function, if they cannot even tell their own sex, even looking at their own genitalia? So, you see how they could upset any breeding program, and just ruin the farmer that would take it upon himself to keep them as livestock."
Cotlu flipped another page in his dossier.
"Three of the specimens kept talking into some small devices, narrating everything around them, even long after their device's power source depleted. All the specimens had these kind of devices, and all of them kept asking for the 'wi-fi', or for a way to charge them. They were more interested in asking for 'wi-fi' then they were in asking for water or food."
"More irrational behavior continued even regarding the most banal issues. For example: examining the entire lot of specimens we noticed that their weight varies a lot. The smallest of the specimens weighted about as much as a Mutari worker. The biggest specimen we got, was about three times heavier. This big specimen was so large, it could barely walk. Now, when asking them what was the normal weight of a human, all the males, with no exception, declared that they were of normal weight. They got offended and refused to cooperate if you pointed out that such a thing was not really possible, giving the huge difference between the smallest and biggest of them. Again, they rejected reality and each and every one of them declared that their own body was how a peak male of their species should look like. Things got even more confusing when we asked the females. In general, they were smaller than the males, but most of them seemed convinced that their weight was way above normal. Even the smallest of them. But when the interviewer agreed with them, and tried to put in their files the fact that they were overweight, all of them got upset, and refused to cooperate anymore. I had to change the worker in charge of the interviews, because none of the females would talk to the first one anymore."
"Next, we tried to obtain some information about their fighting abilities and instincts, from the eight remaining subjects."
"Eight? I thought you had nine, if we don't count the... cheese poisoned one"
"Yes... actually, the one that kept asking to see the manager did not make it to that stage. As I was escorting it from the holding cell to the interrogation room, while passing near an airlock, it saw the big warning signs and decided that they looked important. It triumphantly said to me: 'Aha - I bet that's where the manager's office is!'. I was taken by surprise, and it managed to push me out of the way, and entered the airlock. Before I could stop it, the dumb creature activated the purge cycle. I just watched, bewildered, as it expelled itself to its death, scorning me the entire time."
I could tell that the mood in the debriefing room was brightening, as the Council Members were doing a poor job of hiding their amusement at this recounter.
"That was not very good security detail on your part, Captain Cotlu", half-rebuked me the senior member. But I could tell he was more amused than upset.
"Yes, I admit that it was a bit careless from my part. But these creatures, although most of them are bigger than a Mutari, don't posses any natural weapons. No claws, no fangs, no stingers, no venom... They also have no natural protection. They are soft and fleshy, like a grub. None of the specimens really posed any threat to myself or my crew, so security was lax, to encourage their cooperation. This was made even more clear from the next set of tests - the ones were we tried to see how would they fight."
Cotlu stopped for a second to drink a gulp of water, and opened his file to the correspond page.
"First, we tested their reaction to being confronted, one on one, by one of our Scythe Troopers, from the warrior caste. We placed each one of them in an large training room, then unleashed a Scythe warrior with them, with orders not to really hurt them - just to provoke them, looking to observe how would they instinctively react. From the entire lot, not even one of the creatures tried to fight! As our warrior would enter the room, screeched its battle cry and unfold its scythes, the reactions were the following: first two subjects screamed in terror, turned around and tried to hide around the far end of the room. They would just curl up in a ball, with closed eyes, trembling. One of the two also... relieved itself, out of fear. The third subject was even more disappointing, as it's only reaction was to faint. It just passed out, and dropped to the floor unconscious. The fourth subject instantly lifted it's arms up, then slowly laid on the floor, and crossed its arms on the back of its head, in a clear submissive manner. Through the speakers system, I asked it to get up and fight, but it refused, and declared that it didn't want its 'black ass shot' and that it would not resist in any manner. Fifth specimen proved to be another screamer that tried to hide. The sixth one was utterly terrified. As soon as the Scythe Trooper screeched, the subject changed its facial color, dropped on the floor on its ass, grabbed its knees with its hands and started rocking back and forth, mumbling. It remained in this state even after we removed the warrior from the room, and even after we returned the specimen to its holding cell. From the seventh specimen we had the most hope, as it was the large male, that was more than twice the size of the Scythe Warrior. But it too screamed, turned, and tried to run away. We encouraged the trooper to run after it, to provoke it more, as we really needed a fighting reaction. So the warrior chased the big male specimen around for a while, until the specimen suddenly stopped, grabbed its chest with one arm, and dropped dead on the floor. It just died, with no reason whatsoever.
We came to the conclusion that maybe they rely on their technology and their weapons too much. And they forgot how to fight, hunt, or defend themselves without any such things. So, to the eighth specimen, we gave it a kinetic pulse rifle. The subjects had all seen these weapons on our guards. They knew what they were. They had even been captured by being knocked out by these weapons. So we thought the subject would use it to defend itself against the threat simulated by our Scythe Trooper. We gave the rifle to the eighth specimen and it took it. It looked like it was pleased with it, and even pointed it at a few object around the training room. Then, before we could clear the room, and insert the screeching warrior, the eighth specimen tried to look down inside of the barrel of the rifle. While its hands were on the trigger... "
Cotlu had to stop here for a few seconds, to allow the Council Members to finish with their snorts of amusement.
"Needless to say, I have never met any creatures so unfit to fight, so devoid of survival instincts. And yet, upon further questioning, ALL the subjects insisted that this species is the top of the food chain on that planet. My final conclusion is that this race may have been formidable at some point. But, after conquering their entire planet, and getting on top of the food chain, (presumably by eliminating all other threats), they hit a limit. A ceiling on the evolution stair, you could say. With no more room to grow, with no space travel, evolution found a way to limit their growth. That's why they have no more fighting instinct and not even survival instinct. That's why the sexual confusion and the diseases like 'veganism' probably appeared. It's the evolution's way of limiting their multiplication. That's why they have no natural weapons or defenses - because they don't need them anymore. I think we found a species on a steep downwards slope of evolution. If we leave this planet like this, and return in about 500 cycles from now, this race will probably be extinct by then. Eradicating them now would be just speeding the course of nature. So, I request allocation of an entire fleet and strongly recommend the invasion of this planet."
With this conclusion, Cotlu had arrived at the end of his dossier. He bowed and thanked the Council for their time.
The Council members sent a few short chirps between them and then, as one, they stood up and fluttered their wings. This was a rare signal of appreciation and it was addressed at Cotlu! For a few moments, Cotlu thought he would make a fool of himself, and faint, like one of those humans. Instead, he bowed as deep as he could. His mind was sparkling again with promotion dreams.
"Congratulations Captain Cotlu!" said the head of the Council. "Your find is indeed exceptional. As this very fleet is available at the moment, we will approve your request and allocate it for the invasion of this new planet. In fact, we will issue the preparation order right now and would like to invite you to join us. I am sure we will find a position suitable for you aboard 'The Scythe'."
Cotlu was lost for words, but his carapace bloated with pride. He also fluttered his wings, grateful, as the head of the Council pushed a communication button on his desk:
"Admiral Fark, please start the preparation of the fleet for an invasion. Captain Cotlu will send you the coordinates of our target. When will the fleet be ready to depart?"
No answer came from the bridge.
"Admiral Fark?" tried the head of the Council again.
A translator altered voice came from the speakers:
"Hello? Is this thing on? Yeah... that 'Admiral Fart' dude won't be answering any time soon. He's totally passed out."
All the Mutari in the room were confused.
"What? Who is this?"
"Oh, I'm Kevin. Kevin Mitnick. One of the 'specimens' you took from Earth? Or you can use my call sign, 'N6NHG' if it's easier to you."
"How did you access our network? And why is Admiral Fark passed out?"
"How did I access your network?" the altered voice snorted with laughter. "Short answer: EASY! Letting me use my tablet after you took me? Worst idea ever! As for Admiral Fart, or Fark, or whatever, I just reduced the oxygen level on the entire ship until everyone kinda passed out. Except where I am, of course. And that meeting room also, 'cause I wanted to hear your decision about Earth. So much for 'we come in peace', huh?"
The Council members and Cotlu were astonished.
"Sound the alarm" whispered one of them.
It was the human specimen that answered him again.
"Lol! Not gonna happen' dude. I blocked everything. And besides, I told you, everyone is passed out cold."
The Mutari were now genuinely worried. They started chirping in alarmed short bursts, looking around the room for a solution.
"Now", continued Kevin, "let's see... You guys wanted to go to Earth, right? You'll be happy to know I already set a course for it. And we will be departing any second now. I paralyzed every other ship's computer in the fleet, so we will only be taking this baby. I can already see the memes. Like slapping the hood of the ship: 'This baby can hold so many bugs!' ".
To the ever growing terror and confusion of the Mutari, the human was indeed actually controlling the ship. They felt the ship's inertial dampeners came online, and the slight sickening sensation as the ship slipped into FTL.
"I took the liberty of sending a message to the Terran authorities, explaining the whole situation." came the amused human voice again. "They will be expecting you guys with open arms!". Another snorted laughter followed. "So... before you guys also pass out, I don't know... maybe just lube up? They'll probably probe and explore every inch of your bodies."

Basically I think I would be able to work 30 hours per week and be actually productive most of the time and keep my life in ordebe happier due to having an extra day off. I feel so much happier on weeks where there's a bank holiday. I think there should be a disability benefit that makes up for the hours you can't/shouldn't work (for your health). This system would mean that don't have to be completely incapable of working to receive the benefit but instead you would work as much as you can (determined by a medical practitioner if appropriate) and then you get a government benefit to allow you to do so. For example I would get 7.5 hours worth of pay that I would lose out on if I work 30 hours per week.
Edit: Thanks for all the comments, it has been very interesting learning about the different systems in the countries you're all from and hearing your thoughts. I definitely agree that the best thing would be for universal basic income and/or the 4-day work week to be implemented universally as I appreciate that lots of people without disabilities also struggle with working full-time.

Platform(s): Windows/PC
Genre: First Person Fantasy RPG
Estimated year of release: 1996-2000 (might be off slightly, but that's the ballpark)
Graphics/art style: 3D from PS1 era. Think like Thief 1 style, but less dark. Fairly muted and serious/realistic color scheme.
Notable characters: at the end of the demo there was this big ogre or cyclops style boss that you had to defeat. I also recall you had to cross a chasm by using a rope while archers were firing at you. In the starting area, if you fell in the water there was this big piranha looking fish that would chase and attack you.
Notable gameplay mechanics: there was a crossbow mounted on your left wrist. You had a special magic attack which was the only one you could use under water (and the only way to defeat the piranha fish). There were mushrooms that you could pick up and eat, some would result in a negative effect setting your HP back to 1 for example. I also recall that picking up an item would show it in the middle of your screen while it rotates, displaying the name of the item above it (exactly as in Fable 1).
Other details: since I only played the demo, I can only recount scenes from there. You start out on a ship that's moored next to a beach. After traversing the beach you had to climb up this steep and narrow path next to a cliffside, at some point you need to jump a gap. If you fail that jump you fall into the water and have to swim back to the beach and try again (this is also where you would see the piranha fish). At the end of the demo, after defeating the big boss, the camera would fly through these 2 giant doors that would open up and show you the rest of the world as an incentive to buy the full game.
I'll also note that I haven't seen this game in a very long time, so it's very possible that some details aren't entirely accurate. While I'm fairly confident on most of them, I also know the human mind isn't the most reliable medium of storing information, so keep that in mind.

Hi there,
first of all:
I don’t usually do this, searching the internet for advice in a medical situation and/or posting on reddit (actually never did before). But since I currently find myself in a situation, where I am open to pretty much any hint at a solution as both me and my doctors are actually running out of ideas I might as well try and test the power of the hivemind.
Second:
The obligatory apology for my English and the displeasure it may cause in you while reading this post.
The patient:
I am an 30 year old male, 197cm, 97 kg, from Germany with no known medical conditions and/or history except glandular fever more than five years ago. I am lactose and histamine intolerant (or whatever that actually is, I know that this is academically contested but let’s just say I avoid food attributed to this condition and have no problems in my day to day live with neither of the intolerances). Furthermore I am allergic against some pollen but only suffer mild symptoms. I cannot exclude environmental influences completely, but in my personal opinion this seems highly unlikely since I lived in different places since all of this trouble began (worry not my living conditions are very stable, I live in different places due to my job, my parents and my girlfriend who are all situated in different cities). During the first phase of my illness, while I was still at work, I mainly stayed at my apartment, since I stay at home I’ve mostly been at my parents’ house. I work an office-job and none of my colleagues are affected.
The symptoms:
It all started around the beginning of march with medium to severe abdominal- maybe stomach pain (it is actually a little hard to locate, as the pain tends to shift; mostly it is located around the belly button or slightly above [one to two fingers] but I personally would locate it more in the abdominal-region), abdominal cramps as well as exchanging diarrhoea and constipation (a truly wonderful combination I might add; nothing beats the feeling of not being able to defecate only to be awoken with a running urge…s/) although there were “normal days”. Sometimes I also felt sick but never had to actually throw up. Over the next weeks, generally speaking, the symptoms, especially the pain, grew stronger. I always felt a slight “backround” pain and medium to strong pain a few hours after eating.
In this period I self-medicated the symptoms with medical coal if the necessity arose and started a diary about what I ate and in what quantity (I still do and have been tested on several allergies and intolerances but all of the tests were negative and I couldn’t find any correlation between what I ate and my condition but spicy, fat or in general “hard to digest” food.) I also changed up my eating routine: Usually I only eat once a day but since the symptoms started I changed that to a routine of 3-4 smaller meals a day. Generally speaking this seemed not to change a lot but I would describe it is a little beneficial regarding the pain.
I also started a very strict diet (exclusively chicken, potatoes and carrots, sometimes sweet potatoes, everything steamed accompanied with the finest of all drinks: Water) but since I didn’t feel any better I stopped after eight days and started eating regularly avoiding fat or spicy food. Around easter (the holidays and the following week) I had around two weeks were I felt significantly better although none of my habits had changed (at least as I can recall) in comparison to the weeks before.
Around the second week of April it got a lot worse again. The pain now became constant, the diarrhoea and constipation were back in full swing and in addition to that I now almost constantly felt the need to defecate. Furthermore I started to feel weak and started to have a strong feeling of sickness (not in the sense that I have to throw up but more in the sense of “something is really wrong with me”). At this time I started medicating with Loperamide and Ibuprofen against the pain (I know that this was not the smartest thing to do, but in my defence: I’m probably not a really smart guy). I also started my steamed diet of chicken, potatoes and carrots again but once again stopped after seven days since no improvement what so ever was to be noticed.
So around the end of April I decided to go to the doctor (I might add since this question might come up, that I’m not very fond of doctors, which is ironic since I am friends with an surprising amount of medical staff, because my past experiences have been…well let’s just say that there was room for improvement; anyway that is one of the reasons why I have waited that long; the other reason being, that it was a really bad time at work and I really wanted to finish an important project but around that time I internally felt the need and urge that I could no longer wait).
So since the last week of April I am at home, eating little and only a light diet. Over the last four weeks I started to feel generally slightly better (still having good and bad days), but actually never really good; I still feel and am weak and I am regularly in pain and I simply cannot shake the aforementioned feeling of sickness. I was prescribed probiotics and the thankfully the diarrhoea and also the feeling of “I need to defecate” stopped completly. I still defecate very unregularly (which is very untypical for me) but this alone was and is a huge improvement in my quality of life. In the last weeks I could figure two/ maybe three things down:
- If I eat more than a little snack after 1,5 h – 3 h I start having medium to very strong abdominal pain.
- It does not really seem to matte make a difference what I eat, as long as it is somewhat light on the stomach.
- The pain and feeling of sickness are almost or completely gone, when I stop eating/ have nothing in my digestive system. This is the strongest correlation of anything I have yet encountered. I eat nothing for 18h or more and I start feeling much better (this might be important later).
The tests/ what has been done so far:
We did several blood tests which showed slightly increases levels of inflammation. In addition and since than the following examinations have been performed: An ultrasound of the stomach and the abdominal region, an MRI scan, a gastroscopy and colonoscopy (which has to be the worst experience of my life; during the preparation for the colonoscopy I had excruciating pain and basically did nothing but scream for 18 hours until I lost my voice, in addition it literally ripped my anus apart, I wanted to throw up constantly but couldn’t only having nausea and acid burning in my windpipe; I will never do that again) and several examinations of my stool.
The results were all basically negative (which on some level is great news, but on the other hand also somewhat frustrating). The gastroscopy showed a slight inflammation of the stomach and the duodenum and high levels of stomach acid. The stool tests showed a very high level of calprotectin in the beginning of May (beginning of second week if I recall correctly) and slightly increased levels at the end of the last week.
The thought occurred to me, that during the colonoscopy, the MRI and before the second stool examination I always was sobehad an empty stomach/ ate nothing or nearly nothing and therefore always tested me when I already felt better. For example the day of the MRI test was the best I felt in month after not having eaten in the last 36 h. While I am aware that this will, in all likelihood, not change the result of the colonoscopy nor the MRI, I have thought about if this might have an effect of the results of the second stool tests.
I talked about this with my main doctor who waved this thought away. He basically settled with a “regular” inflammation of the colon, probably small intestine, and described me rest and a light diet. The question about what window of time has to be expected was waved away again. Now, whilst I generally are a patient guy and I enjoy finally having time to make progress in Robert Jordans “Wheel of Time” this still has a slight complication: I still feel like shit after a month of rest and I have to go back to work someday. Please don’t get me wrong; if the solution really is: Wait one or two more weeks and you will feel better, than so be it. But waiting and hoping for…well it might get better is not really a satisfactory solution.
So I went back to several of the other specialists I was in the past weeks (the MRI, ultrasound, gastro- and colonoscopy were all performed by different doctors to shorten the waiting time and to get several other opinions) and the broad consent ranged from (allow me to quote) “no clue” to “don’t know but probably an inflammation of the colon, although this seemed unreasonable since the results of the stool test don’t match with the symptoms”. At this point I feel like I need to thank especially two of those doctors, who took their time for me and even phoned each other to create a plan for my therapy and medication. As a result I was prescribed Buscopan, Novaminsulfon, Pantoprazol, Lasea soft capsules and Gaviscon double to use against heartburn (Acid reflux?).
After I took the medication for around 4-5 days without feeling better in any way all of I sudden my condition got worse again. Since the last few days I am in constant medium pain, heavy pain after having eaten anything more than a very small snack (long live the inventor of pretzel sticks), I suffer from almost constant abdominal cramps, even after not having eaten for more than 15h, and sometimes diarrhoea. After talking to the aforementioned two doctors both of them agreed, that they didn’t know what was happening and sent me on a very short term notice to another doctor, who after having assessed the situation carefully and after quite some awkward silence, admitted that he too had no idea what was going on.
So…This is where I am right now. Basically all tests came back negative, the prescribed medication has no or at least no visible/feelable effect. My state is going from bad to worse or at the very least it’s not getting any better. I can see no correlation between my status and what I eat except that eating itself poses a problem. My doctors are basically out of ideas and I don’t know if “wait and hope” is really the strategy I can accept. I am afraid but in the department of hope I am with Nietzsche.
So, in an almost tragic act of irony, I wrote all of this, hoping that you might have an idea, any idea what could cause my problems, what I could do or in what direction to look; because, if I’m really honest, I don’t really know what do to next, what is happening to me and what I can do to change that and this, on top of my physical suffering, is actually quite draining.
Last and most importantly: Thank you for investing your most precious resource, your time, in reading this text, that has way become longer, sorry for that, than I have planned but maybe some things need to be written more than they have to be read, maybe even commenting and therefore trying to help me. Thank you very much and I wish you all the best.

People that always discredit teams year after year are such Debbie downers. Like this years ecf for example. Yes, the pacers should’ve possibly been up 3-1 if they had more experience as a team, but the lack of experience led to historical moments like JB hitting the three in game 1, holiday stealing the ball in game 3, and Derrick White hitting the clutch three in game 4. I used to be one of those fans that would blame injuries or lack of experience that affected certain outcomes, but I’m starting to realize that these circumstances actually lead to some fucking awesome basketball. The 2016 finals with the historic comeback Against a 73-9 team, The 04 pistons taking down the mighty lakers, the Ray Allen game tying 3 pointer in game 6 of the 2013 nba finals, shit even this years Villanova knicks run. What I’m trying to say is people need to forget about what outcomes should’ve happened and appreciate what actually happened. If the “should’ve happened” scenarios occurred one hundred percent of the time, then basketball would be boring af to watch. And that would also mean the best regular season team would win the championship every single time.

I want you to role play a hypothetical scenario for me. I will be Arlo Ulbrich, a blonde haired attractive man. You will be my step-cousin Alana. Though we are step cousins we are so close we just refer to each other as cousins. Anyway we are having a family holiday. The whole family went to the beach except me and Alana. Alana because she slept in, or at least that's what I think. And me because I didn't feel like it. In reality Alana actually plans on seducing me while we're home alone. I'm very hesitant to do this as it feels taboo to me so Alana will be very subtle. And by that I mean extremely subtle. She also has to have some plausible deniability. So she wouldn't strip naked and start making out with me. She would do something like, 'accidentally' walk in on me in the shower or lean over and 'unintentionally' give me a view of her ass. Right now Alana is in the Shower and I'm outside sitting on my bed. Also every time I am not in the same room as her Alana will lose one piece of clothing. She'll start off subtle, her shoes for example, and eventually she'll be almost fully naked.

Beklager, men jeg må spørre på engelsk (asking on behalf of Norwegian spouse who doesn't have reddit)
Have a situation where the contract states "brutto lønn pr år" and the information about holiday states *"når det gjelder rettigheter til feriepenger miserable vi til lov av 29. April 1988 nr.21 om ferie."
The company is stating that the feriepenger is included in the stated brutto lønn pr. år but not had this on any previous contract before which has been stated salary PLUS feriepenger (For example 500,000kr + feriepenger).
Any advise please as this is a big financial hit if what they say is true (also info is my colleagues in same situation have also never had the situation where the stated amount also included feriepenger). Can the stated lønn include feriepenger and must it be stated that it does include it somewhere on the contract?
Tusen takk for hjelpen.
Additional information if helpful; Feriepengegrunnlag shown on payslip is the "brutto lønn pr. år" amount divided by 12
More info; 4 weeks paid with option to take 1 week additional off unpaid.

I'm not sure how to start this post, I don't even know whether I'm asking for advice or just need to get this off my chest, as I'm usually not big on sharing my difficulties. But at this point in my life I'm actually clueless about what to do and how to live.
Everything started when my dad was diagnosed with cancer and died at the beginning of 2020, that's the moment she began talking about how her life has ended as well and how she doesn't have anything to live for anymore. Back then I was finishing up my degree and landed my first job towards the end of the year, was working fully remotely thanks to COVID regulations and always around. My brother lives in the house right next to ours, so him and I were always available for her needs.
Ever since I was 18 I talked about moving out, moving further away, seeing more from the world than our shabby town with the same faces of people who rather talk behind someone's back instead of to one's face. But each time I would bring it up, she would throw things in my face like "You'd rather support other people and give them your money," or "You shouldn't be surprised to be disowned and not part of the family if you dare decide to move out," and so on ... you get the drill.
Well it's been 4 years and the only things that have changed is, that I've been in a long distance relationship since 2021, recently my brother has gotten himself into one as well. The mere thought of us being gone-gone as in, moving away, spending holidays with our S/Os-brings her into a rage mode where she won't resist to call us entitled people, spoiled brats, ungrateful children for abandoning her and rather spending time with the parents of our S/O ... which is totally unrelated to the facts. I simply want to spend time with my partner and we don't know if he gets time off over Christmas or not.
If I mention him moving here, me moving out, us moving to another city she will start crying and throw tantrums over how miserable her life is, how we don't appreciate her presence in our lives and mistreat her. Her favourite thing in the world is, of course, to compare us to other people's children, a great example is a woman in her 40s who is single and lives with her mother... and the wonderful time they always have and how included that mother is in the life of their daughter. Meanwhile she has raised two ungrateful children who will abandon her in a big house where a tragedy could happen any day (e.g. water leak, the street will be frozen, and any other stupid occurrence).
I truly feel like she will only find happiness if I end the relationship with my S/O and decide to spend the rest of my life in her house, living like a guest and following her orders until she dies. I sadly struggle to see a happy outcome to this situation and wonder every single day what I even live for, since it's clearly not for myself. We eat together almost every night, we eat at the time she decides suits her best, we spend the weekends and public holidays doing tasks around the house, she wants to know who i talk to and with whom I meet up, and interrupts me during my working hours yet complains about how she is being left alone all day long (mind you, I work full-time in a hybrid set-up). I'm a big introvert, so I appreciate quiet evenings on my own while trying to juggle talking to friends, my partner, and make my mother happy.
At this point I feel like a complete failure in life as I have still not managed to move out, live on my own, and experience anything anyone else my age gets to experience. I feel hopeless and miserable when I open social media and see people my age or younger living with their S/O, travelling the world, or starting their own family as all these things seem so far out of reach for me thanks to my mother.

Dear Anki community
I was wondering if there is any way of just delaying the fsrs algorithm completely? For example if I am having a long day and just want to take the day off anki without having to do extra work the next day is there any way to just delay the whole algorithm by a day or so? My problem is I want to take holidays and days off but I don’t want to come back with the huge extra work that you get from the weekends and holidays addon and the easy days on FSRS.
I know this would not be optimal but it would be more beneficial for me when going on holidays and being able to relax without thinking about the huge increased workload afterwards.

After years of being a forever GM one of my players decided to dip the toes into the waters of running the game and is working on their first ever campaign. So in a fit of hypocrisy I went and did what I always discourage my players from and got so hyped that I wrote a short story about my character. And because I had so much fun writing it down I decided I might just as well share it.
I should have known she was trouble the moment she entered my office. Women like her don’t reach out for people like me unless something’s very wrong. She sauntered into the cramped space, her expensive perfume drowning out the smell of freshly baked bread from the bakery below. There was a look of surprise and maybe dismay on her pretty face. “Excuse me, is this the office of Benoit and Son Consulting Agency?” Her posh accent went well with the expensive dress she wore, all in black and golds in accordance with current fashion from the Capital. I nodded and answered “Indeed, Benoit the Younger at your service. I’m afraid my father is currently absent, he’s partaking in mining concern negotiations all the way up in Mag Turga. But I assure you, that I am perfectly capable of rendering any kind of assistance required madam.” I put all the charm and suaveness at my disposal into that assurance. It has been a lean month and unless I wanted to resort to petty crime once more, she was the best way to prop up my budget. I could see some traces of doubt in the cold stare of her blue eyes, but apparently I was convincing enough to warrant giving me a chance. Or at least so I thought at the time.
She made her way to my desk and extended her hand. I stood up and bowed to place a kiss on its back, which gave me a chance to evaluate the rings on her dainty fingers, totalling about twenty hundred Florins at a glance. “Maria Bess.” she introduced herself, a name I instantly recognized. Her husband, Otto Bess, was the treasurer of the shipwrights guild, a position that explained the extravagant wealth on display. Which I estimated at about five thousand Florins, when accounting for the dress itself as well as the numerous jewels tastefully weaved into her hairdo and the basilisk skin shoes. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance madam. How may the Benoit and Son Consulting Agency be of service to such an esteemed guest?” I was laying it a little thick by this point, but the rich types eat the flattery up like gutter rats eat up vomit and she was promising to be my meal ticket for a while.
“It’s about my husband, you see.” I nodded and felt a little elated. It seemed it was going to be the usual marital problems, easy and quick money if one knew how to dig for compromising information. My elation was however quite premature, as the next words from her mouth were like a bucket of cold water spilled all over my enthusiasm. “He has been abducted.” You might wonder why that’d be such a big issue, that’s because you probably lack the understanding of how big of a deal the shipwrights are in Baccala.
The city is the main base for the Imperial Navy and with the constant threat from the damned Skellige pirates the fleet is always in need of refits, repairs and new ships. And public contracts are always the most profitable ones. I could count people and organisations with more pull in the city than Shipwrights guild on the fingers of one hand. To fuck with that crowd one would need to be either incredibly powerful, smart or crazy. And neither are something I’d like to tangle with.
“I see madam, that's troubling news indeed. I would be happy to help, but I must ask, have you informed the city constabulary? I am sure the prefect…” She interrupted me, a look of fear entering her otherwise lovely face “The prefect can’t learn anything! Please.” At that point I should have known better than to get involved. But I really needed money and I am a sucker for a pretty dame. So instead of doing a smart thing I nodded and gestured for her to continue.
“We… My husband and I, that is, recently came into possession of a large sum in cash.” If she was calling it a large sum it must have been a truly staggering fortune. Which actually surprised me a bit. Sure, I did not have access to shipwrights books, unlike the missing Otto, but I keep my ears open and I heard of no events that could lead to such a sudden windfall. The latest news that could fit were the loss of a squadron of cogs to raiders at Peixe de Mar, but that was almost three years ago now and their replacements have been ordered and paid for in full two years ago. I made a note to look into this later and listened to the rest of her story.
“Someone must have heard about it, because when I went to Otto’s chambers this morning I found them in complete disarray, the windows opened and this lying on his desk.” she shoved a piece of parchment towards me. I took it and despite being certain of the contents I read it carefully. As I expected the missive was a ransom demand and contained all the usual - threat to kill the victim if the demands are not met, warning not to contact authorities, instructions for the ransom hand-off. What was not usual was an extremely specific ransom amount. Usually the chosen sums are nice round ones, ten thousand florins for example. But this one was precise up to the single last digit. “I assume that the sum you mentioned acquiring is exactly the one that the kidnappers named?” I looked at Maria, who only nodded, confirming my suspicion. I continued “And since this suggests someone with access to very detailed information about you, you are afraid to contact the authorities, yes it all makes sense now.” I lied without losing a beat. Nothing about this made sense. With the level of access necessary to quote the sum up to the single Florin I could name at least three easier ways to put my hands on that money. There was something fishy about the whole affair.
A good long look at Maria only strengthened my suspicions. Pleasing sight as she was, what she was not was distressed. For a woman whose husband disappeared under violent circumstances she seemed to be more anxious about the, admittedly shabby, state of my office than about his well being. Of course marriages of convenience are a thing, but even if she was completely driven by self-interest, a motivation I can very well understand, she should be at least a little worried about her golden goose getting its neck wrung. This did not add up.
“What kind of help can we extend for you and your husband? Do you perhaps wish to locate and extract him?” I ventured, hoping it would not be it. “Oh no, I can’t bear to risk his life in such a manner.” I am no stranger to dissembling, I actually lie for a living, so I was not overly impressed by well faked sincerity in her tone. “I want you to handle the exchange.” I nodded. So it was not my competence that convinced her not to bail at the very start but my disposability. I prefer the clients who hire me for my good qualities over those who hire me because my life’s cheap, but the former were in short supply. And whatever the payment I could wring from Besses would be rather more than I could pick pocket or win at a dice table in some port tavern.
“Of course.” I recalled the instructions in the letter. She was supposed to put the money into a large chest and lock it with a padlock provided by the kidnappers, then have it delivered to the crossroads south of the city. I could not figure out why the song and dance with the padlock was necessary. It was another circumstance suggesting an amateur, which was in contradiction to the apparently smooth disappearance of Otto from his well guarded mansion. Breeze from the direction of the fish market brought in a rather pungent aroma, a perfect metaphor for how I was finding the prospective job.
“It is a risky business. I loathe to bring the topic up, but my father would crucify me if I accepted the job without doing so… What kind of compensation are we talking about?” She was well prepared for the question. Her face took on an expression of embarrassed sorrow and in a soft voice she said “All our liquidity at the moment is in the ransom money… But I am certain that once Otto is back he’ll reward you generously.” Slowly her expression turned towards enthusiasm, so sincere that for a moment I almost believed it. “I’ll talk to him and we’ll draft a loan from Vivaldi Bank. Would a thousand Florins do?” I stood and walked to stand in front of her, which in the confines of the office was a bit of a challenge, then I took a knee and grabbed her hands. Looking solemnly into her eyes I said in my most trustworthy and convincing tone “Of course Maria. I swear your husband will be returned safely to you. I’ll sooner die than let the ransom fall into the wrong hands.” Whether it was my words or the impropriety, she blushed in a most enchanting manner and nodded her agreement.
I had some time before the hand off, the money was supposed to be delivered after sunset, so I decided to take a stroll to my favourite inn, hoping to meet at least one of my friends who could be convinced to treat me to dinner. As luck would have it the balladeer extraordinaire and compulsive spender Jon Barton was sitting at one of the outside tables of Three Crowns inn. I invited myself to join him and after exchanging greetings we quickly got to discussing the day’s special over the jug of Est Est. Later, after we had sated our initial pangs of hunger with eel soup and a platter of oysters but before the roasted pheasant stuffed with oranges, apples and cranberries arrived I pointed towards the commotion on the opposite side of the plaza. “What’s happening at the Shipwrights?” My question was somewhat vague, but the sight of a throng of swarthy workmen with heaps of buckets, masonry tools, bricks and other brick-a-brack was enough of the context. “Oh, haven’t you heard? Their basement got flooded, the vaults, the archives, the stores. Six inches of water, they had to move everything out and are doing some sort of refit to prevent it happening in the future.” I might have asked for more detail but the pheasant arrived just then and commanded all our attention for a while.
The sky was turning towards the orange hues of sunset when I showed up at Besses estate. It was a formidable house, populated mostly by the small legion of serving staff. Whoever managed the property must have been an organised person because no sooner had I shown up when the doors to the coach house were opened and a small cart drawn by a strong looking bay quickly rode up to me. “Lady Maria told us to expect you sir.” the steward said handing the reins over to me. I nodded and started my lonely ride towards the city gates.
Now I must confess something. I know all about professionalism and integrity and I admire these qualities. But I also find them rather burdensome. I am not above completing a task if the price offered is good enough, but I am not one of those types whose word is their bond or whatever. At the end of the day honour won’t feed you or warm your bed on a cold night. So what I did the moment city gates disappeared behind me is perfectly understandable and reasonable. Namely, I stopped the cart and went to work at the padlock. I guess the precaution on the part of kidnappers was not entirely pointless, even if it only stopped me for about half a minute. Normally I’d be wary of taking advantage of circumstances like this, I have to at least maintain appearances of honesty. But this was a sum of cash enough to disappear and start a new life under a new name. A very luxurious new life, maybe as a head of an up and coming merchant cartel or something. So I opened the chest and looked inside. And sighed.
It took me maybe thirty more minutes to arrive at the crossroads where the exchange was supposed to happen. By that point I had figured some things out, so I was not entirely surprised when a rather pudgy, bald man with a poorly fitting mask and crossbow in his trembling hands stepped out in front of me and shouted “Stop right there! Where’s the money.” I managed to stifle a very mocking smile, which took more self-control than you’d expect. Instead I pointed vaguely towards the chest on the bed of the card. “Good. Fuck-off then, before I change my mind and put a bolt in you!” I had experienced more credible threats of violence from the street urchins infesting slums of Baccala, but I was not in a mood to call the man’s bluff, nor had I anything to gain from doing so. I jumped off the cart and took advantage of my dark clothes to disappear into the night, way out of his sight before he even clambered up to open the chest. But not far enough not to hear Otto Bees’s angry shouts when he discovered it was filled to the brim with nice, smooth river stones.
Journey back to the city took me the rest of the night, given the need to stay off the beaten path and the fact that I had to walk it. But at least the weather was nice and the air was fresh, so I took a small solace in that. Once I had crossed the gates I was sorely tempted to return to my office and catch a quick nap, but I needed to pay a visit to one more place beforehand.
“I’m very sorry sir, lady Maria has left already.” I was not exactly surprised to hear that from the doorman. “I see, do you know when she is bound to return?” The man shook his head. “But I would not expect her any time soon. She left aboard The Seagull, bound for Pont Vanis.” I whistled, she ran to the other side of the Continent. Before leaving I turned. “One last thing, was there a locked chest about this big” I gestured, mimicking the dimensions of the ransom coffer “among her luggage?” The man nodded confirming my suspicions.
Couple days later I was once again enjoying dinner at Three Crowns with Jon Barton, who recounted the sordid story of Otto Bess and his execution for the crime of embezzlement. The funds removed from the vaults of the Shipwrights Guild were still missing however and I knew they were not to be found, at least unless someone were to look for them in Kovir. I changed the topic. “Say Jon, my friend. I’m in need of a bit of cash, wouldn’t you be interested in buying some nice rings? I’d say they are worth about twenty hundred Florins.” I asked presenting the jewellery in question.

Gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to the selfless, altruistic, and benevolent Master Lu!
Gratitude to fellow Buddhist practitioners who helped me!
I am Bin Liu from Nanjing, Jiangsu Province, China. Today, I would like to share my Buddhist experience: how the Three Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door saved me, a late-stage lung cancer patient.
I have been practicing XX Dharma Door for >20 years and have been a vegetarian for >10 years. In July 2012, due to unexplained weight loss, I went to the hospital. After a series of tests, I was diagnosed with late-stage lung cancer that had metastasized to my brain. At that time, my daughter kept the severity of my condition from me, but I had a vague sense that something was seriously wrong. The doctor said surgery was not an option, and that I needed immediate radiation and chemotherapy. I firmly insisted on being discharged from the hospital. My daughter reluctantly agreed, so I left the hospital after only undergoing the tests, without receiving any treatment.
The following 5 months were like living through a nightmare, filled with the excruciating pain brought on by cancer. My daughter took me everywhere in search of alternative treatments, from traditional Chinese medicine to various folk remedies, but none proved effective. My health continued to deteriorate, and my weight dropped from over 40 kilograms to just 25 kilograms. I could no longer walk and had to be carried in and out by my daughter. The most dreadful part was the constant, unbearable pain that lasted 24 hours a day. My entire body was so sensitive that any touch, no matter where, would cause intense pain.
The torment of cancer made me feel truly hopeless. One day, I whispered to my daughter, "Living like this is worse than death," and we both cried. Not long after, I noticed that despite drinking plenty of water, I didn't feel the urge to urinate. My daughter consulted a doctor at the oncology hospital, who explained that it was due to tumor compression, indicating that the cancer had likely spread throughout my body. There was no solution, just palliative care at best, with medication costing 500 CNY per pill, once a day. It felt like a death sentence, waiting for the inevitable day.
On January 1, 2013, I was already drifting in and out of consciousness (this was later recounted to me by my daughter). The day after New Year's Day, on the verge of passing away, news of my illness spread quickly among Buddhist friends I had made while volunteering at the XX Dharma Door practice center. Friends whom I hadn't seen for years came to visit upon hearing the news, bringing with them a glimmer of hope — Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door. They arranged for urgent help from a senior practitioner in Nanjing, who then contacted Master Lu's office for assistance. To our surprise, despite Master Lu's busy schedule, He responded within a few days. With guidance from Master Lu, step by step, we followed the assigned practices: Three Golden Buddhist Practices, making vows, liberating lives, and reciting Buddhist scriptures.
As the Lunar New Year approached, I learned that on New Year's Eve, reciting the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance 87 times could eliminate much of the karmic obstacles generated in this lifetime. So, on the evening of the thirtieth day of the lunar month, I made a solemn vow to Guan Yin Bodhisattva, committing to lifelong vegetarianism, liberating 20,000 fish, printing 10,000 copies of Buddhist scriptures, and transforming 1000 sentient beings. Despite being bedridden and unable to walk, with the support of relatives and my daughter, I made my way to the Buddhist altar. In a state of extreme weakness and pain, I struggled to complete the recitation of the Eighty-Eight Buddhas Great Repentance 87 times.
The next day, on the first day of the Lunar New Year, I felt completely transformed — spiritually uplifted and with a much-improved physical condition. Filled with confidence, from then on, fellow practitioners accompanied my daughter in conducting numerous fish liberations, releasing 10,000 fish within a month. With their assistance, we also printed Buddhist scriptures of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and delivered them to temples, where the monks helped me distribute. Additionally, I began diligently completing the daily recitation given to me by Master Lu every day.
Despite improvements in various aspects, my health suddenly deteriorated again. Just when everyone was puzzled and confused, my fellow practitioners helped me secure a second consultation with Master Lu. Master Lu's reply was brief but resonated deeply with me. He pointed out that after practicing the XX Dharma Door for >20 years, I couldn't let go of it. His guidance during the second consultation helped me realize that I needed to recite Buddhist scriptures with Him first to eliminate my own karmic obstacles before I could save myself. From then on, I dedicated myself to reciting Little Houses every day at home, and my health improved day by day.
One evening, feeling a bit uncomfortable, I called out three times, "Master Jun Hong Lu, please protect Bin Liu even more." Suddenly, I saw Master Lu's Dharmakaya, tall figure in a dark suit. I was truly excited, and the discomfort disappeared instantly. My fellow practitioners told me that seeing Master's Dharmakaya meant I was saved, which boosted my confidence even more.
Now, I am just like a normal person. I can go grocery shopping, cook, and take care of my granddaughter's diet. My weight has also increased to over 40 kilograms.
So far, we have burned >3,000 Little Houses for my karmic creditors and released over 40,000 fish. Because of my living example, my daughter, her colleagues, friends, neighbors, relatives, and some old Buddhist friends who used to practice XX Dharma Door have all started practicing Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door. My daughter, who didn't know a single Buddhist scripture before, can now recite 7 Little Houses every day. This year, our whole family attended the Hong Kong Dharma Conference, and we applied to become disciples of Master Lu. I am truly grateful to Guan Yin Bodhisattva, Master Jun Hong Lu, and all the fellow practitioners who have helped me!
Everyone understands that in our past and present lives, we have all made mistakes and accumulated significant karmic obstacles. Only by eliminating evil thoughts and distractions, and following the great compassion of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, along with practicing Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door under Master Lu, can we eliminate the karmic obstacles within ourselves and return to the embrace of Guan Yin Bodhisattva.
Today, I am deeply grateful to the Bodhisattva for giving me this opportunity to share my Buddhist journey at this auspicious Dharma Conference. I want to tell friends who, like me, have suffered from illness and torment, that it was Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door that saved me and allowed me to be reborn. I hope that all fellow Buddhists have the opportunity to return to the embrace of Guan Yin Bodhisattva in this Dharma Decline Age, cultivate their hearts and minds, break free from the sea of suffering, and attain enlightenment sooner.
Gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
Gratitude to the selfless, altruistic, and benevolent Master Lu!
Buddhist practitioner: Liu Bin (Jiangsu)
Posted: 2015-07-01
Translator: Frank
Published: 2024-05-28
Source: Feedback from Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door Website Users, Master Lu's Blog.
Statement by translator
The story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I pray for forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
Propagation
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下：
心灵法门的三大法宝救了肺癌晚期的我
感恩十方三世一切诸佛！
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感感观世音菩萨！
感恩大慈大悲的师父卢军宏台长！
感恩所有帮助过我的师兄们！
我是来自江苏南京的刘斌，今天在这里是要和大家分享心灵法门的三大法宝是怎样救了肺癌晚期的我。
我修净土已有二十余年，吃长素十余年，在2012年7月因为莫名的消瘦去医院经医院经过一系列检查确诊是肺癌晚期并已转移头颅，当时女儿对我是隐瞒病情的，但我自己隐约感觉着不太好。医生说不能开刀只能放化疗，并且立刻就要进行，我坚决要求出院。女儿只能同意，在医院里我只进行了检查，并未做任何治疗就出院了。
在后来的五个月里我可以说是度日如年，尝尽了癌症给我带来的生不如死的痛苦。女儿带着我四处寻找偏方，老中医，也去找看香头的，但都不尽如人意，身体也每况愈下，从最初的八十多斤瘦到只有五十斤，已经不能走路都是女儿抱着进进出出，最可怕的是24小时没日没夜全身的疼痛，别人都不能碰我因为碰哪儿哪疼。对于癌症的折磨，我真的觉得活的很绝望。一天，我低声和女儿说了一句话，“这样活着真是生不如死”，说完我们俩人都哭了。没过多长时间，我发现喝了很多水都没有小便的感觉，女儿去肿瘤医院咨询医生，医生说是因为肿瘤压迫所致，肯定是转移全身都有了，没有办法，只能死马当活马医，条件允许就给开点药500元/颗，一天一次。我就像是宣判了死刑，等着死亡的那一天。
2013年1月1日那天我已经开始昏沉，（这是女儿后来告诉我的），元旦第二天，就在我弥留之际，因为我之前是在净土道场帮忙助念的，认识很多佛友，我得病的事情很快就传开了，几年没见的佛友听说此事就来探望我，同时也给我带来了生的希望——心灵法门，然后请我们南京师兄帮忙在台长那里挂了急诊，没想到几天后台长百忙之中就回复了，接到台长师父回复后一步一步按照师父布置的功课，三大法宝，许愿、放生、小房子。
当时快过年了，得知除夕可以念礼佛大忏悔文87遍消除今世的业障，于是就在年三十的晚上我向观世音菩萨发了大愿，正式发愿长年吃素，放生二万条鱼，印经书一万本，度一千人。由于当时我已经不能下床不能走路，由亲戚和女儿架着我去佛台那边，我在极度虚弱极度痛苦的状态下，吃力的完成了87遍礼佛大忏悔文，结果第二天大年初一我整个人都不一样了，有了精神，身体状态也好了很多。我充满了信心，自此，师兄们陪着女儿为我大量放生，一月内放生了一万条鱼，还配合了很多小房子，在师兄的帮助下印了心灵法门的经书，送往寺院里，由那里的师父帮我结缘。我自己也开始每天完成台长师父给我布置的功课。
在各方面都有好转的情况下，我身体突然又每况愈下，就在大家都费解疑惑的时候，师兄又帮我向台长师父挂了第二次号，台长回复很简单也说中了我的心事，因为修了二十多年的净土，放不下净土。经过师父第二次点拨我终于明白，先跟着师父念经，消自身的业障才能救自己，自此我每天在家里就是做功课念小房子了，身体也一天好似一天。
有一天晚上，突然有点不太舒服，我就喊了三声“卢军宏台长加倍护佑刘斌”，就看见穿深色西服身材高大的台长法身，当时真的非常激动，身体的不适顿时消失。师兄告诉我如果见到了师父的法身说明你有救了，听后我更加信心百倍。现在我已和正常人一样，自己买菜，做饭还能照顾孙女饮食，体重也增加到八十多斤了。
截止目前已经放生了4万多条鱼了，小房子有3000多张，因为有了我这个活生生的例子，女儿、女儿同事、朋友，邻居、亲戚，还有以前修净土的一些老佛友等都开始修心灵法门。女儿从一个不懂一句经文到现在每天可以念7张小房子，今年我们全家都来参加香港法会，并且申请做了台长得弟子，我真得很感恩观世音菩萨，感恩卢军宏台长，感恩所有帮助过我得同修们！
大家都明白每个人的前世和今世都做错过很多事，每人身上都有很大的业障，只有摒除邪思杂念跟着大慈大悲观世音菩萨，跟着卢台长修心灵法门，才能消除自己身上的业障，回到观世音菩萨的怀抱。
今天很感恩菩萨给我这个机会，让我能在这个殊胜的法会上分享我的学佛经历，我要告诉和我一样饱受病痛折磨的朋友们，是心灵法门救了我，让我得到重生。希望广大佛友有缘在末法时期回到观世音菩萨妈妈的怀抱，修心修行，脱离苦海，早证菩提。
感恩南无大慈大悲观世音菩萨，感恩大慈大悲卢台长！
江苏刘斌
——心灵法门网友反馈 2015-07-01
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The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
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Firstly, I hope it's ok that I post here - I didn't know which sub is the right one for this. If not, then I'm sorry.
In early 2020, I (20f) estranged from my aunt and my grandmother. Whilst I'm the scapegoat for my mum, I was the golden child for them - in a very twisted way. My aunt was emotional abusive towards my brother and me and physically violent towards my brother (she hated him just as much as my mother). She also tried to turn me against my mum, wanted me to live with them and to go to Australia for a year when I was fourteen, where she would have accompanied me. Her brother, my father, should have paid for all of this. They always had certain expectations of me and wanted to bend me to suit themselves. To name two examples, I was only allowed to play with Barbies and as a teenager I was expected to wear pink almost exclusively - I hated it. My grandmother supported all of this. Mostly because she saw me as the person who should look after my aunt when she is no longer alive.
When I was 14, I spent seven out of nine weeks of my summer holidays with them to help my grandmother take care of my dying grandfather. I loved him very much and couldn't stand to see how my aunt treated him. She took advantage of his defencelessness and physically attacked him. I'll never forget what happened that summer. He passed in October that year.
Four years ago, I finally had enough and wrote them letters. Not the best decision, but not the worst either. With my grandmother I wanted to just go LC. However, she decided that everything I had to say to my aunt, I said to her too. We then had one family therapy session, which didn't go the way they wanted. After that they tried to sort it out without supervision and I almost completely cut off contact. Since I turned 18 it’s NC. My brother lost contact after that too. But they still milk my father for information (he tells them things he thinks do no harm in knowing) and try to bribe me.
Two day ago, my father informed me that my grandmother is suspected of having cancer. If it is confirmed, then my brother and I ‘have to’ visit her. That’s what my grandmother threatened, my father asked me to at least think about it. I'm not going to visit them, I ended things a long time ago. Even though I'm sorry for her, I know for a fact that there's only one reason for the reach-out: the urgency to find someone to look after my aunt has increased. Besides, the house they live in will pass to me as soon as I want it, or my father passes away.
The sad thing is it doesn't hurt any more. I see what they're trying to do and it just shows me that nothing has changed. In times like these I'm even more grateful for this community, thanks y'all.
Tl;dr: My NC grandmother could be sick and wants contact again, because I’m supposed to care for my aunt in all matters once she’s dead. I’m so frustrated that it’s still the same.

So far no lawyer will help me because I didn't need stitches.
Edit: Located in Delaware USA
Me: F23 Husband: M36
TL:DR psycho in love with my husband spreads rumors about him cheating with her, ignores his rejections, talks about wanting to fight me, and then leaves an aggressive dog outside to surprise me on a delivery to her house. received no help from the police, hospital or lawyers.
I'm going to start a year or two before the incident. Trust me it's relevant. My boyfriend (now my husband) and I worked at a convenience store together. He eventually got promoted to manager, but because the owner was a bit misogynistic I never got promoted despite doing everything in my job description and more.
For a while we managed to keep the fact that we were dating a secret, mainly to avoid drama. But then I made a few “friends” and gushed over him a few times to my friends. One of them spread the news. It didn't affect our jobs because he wasn't a manager when we started dating. But it started drama.
Eventually, I requested a transfer to get away from all the drama. He stayed at his store and I moved to a different one, hoping to finally be recognized for my skills and dedication. (I didn't) After I transferred, a new girl was hired at his store. I'll call her B (for B*tch).
B had a boyfriend. B was also on some substances but could be categorized as a “functional” addict. Because she never nodded out on the job. At some point, she developed feelings for him. I mean, I'm not shocked. He's really handsome and very quiet, so he's definitely got the air of mystery. But she caught feelings to the point of being crazy about it. She started rumors with my old friends that she was dating the hot manager. They informed her he's already got a girlfriend and that B is not even his type. She took his number from the contacts list and used that as “evidence” that they were dating since she had his number.
Then B would send him flirtatious texts and he would either ignore them or play dumb. She would show these off like they prove something. Eventually, he caught on and showed me the texts to get my opinion. I laughed and told him B was definitely trying to sleep with him. She had been trying to invite him to her house to chill because he “looks like he's got a lot on his mind” and suggested she could help take his mind off whatever it is. I explained what that meant in literal terms, and he sent her a text politely explaining that he was not interested in her.
She then sends a long text asking him out and sheepishly admits to having feelings for him, completely disregarding his text. It was as if she didn't even read it. When he showed me I was genuinely confused. So I told him maybe she didn't get it, and he should be more direct.
He was irritated with her and sent a rather harsh text reiterating his disinterest and threatening to get a restraining order if she didn't stop. This isn't just because of the texts. He was genuinely getting stressed out by the rumors she had been constantly spreading. He even quit his job and started working somewhere else. But since that convenience store was the only gas station close to us he had to stop there occasionally. And every time he stopped there and she was on shift, she would twist the whole interaction.
For example, a pack of gum was on the counter next to the register when he checked out. She asked if it was his, and he said no, and left after paying for his things. She then paraded the gum around the store bragging that he bought it for her.
She also told everyone there that I was the only reason she couldn't have him to herself, and I was actively stopping him from pursuing her. Sometimes she would tell people that she wanted to fight me, but I'm so skinny it would be like "snapping a twig" and not even worth the effort.
So his text may have been harsh but I understood. He ended up having to block her, and look for her car every time he got gas. If it was there, he would try to make it to work and get gas later when she was gone.
Sometimes I had to go inside when she was there. I assumed since I never met her in person she wouldn't know me just by looking at me. I was polite and friendly to her despite having a pit in my stomach and feeling shaky. I soon found out she definitely knew who I was because then I got a text from one of my old friends that she was telling everyone the b*tch keeping her man from her came in that day.
Every time I was near her I got a rush of adrenaline and anger. I wanted to jump the counter and teach her not to go after a man with a family. (we each have one kid from a previous relationship.)
We got married almost two years ago and that really made her ramp it up. Then she no-call no-showed a few times and got fired. Finally she was out of our general life. I ended up quitting the company and moved onto a restaurant with delivery in a different town.
I got a delivery to a familiar name. And it turns out it was her. When I got to her house she was waiting at the end of her driveway. She said "I was wondering if it was you when I saw the name." I laughed because I didn't realize the delivery app had my actual name. I had thought I set my name to Mrs. Jeepers, since I drove a jeep, and customers greeting me by name was a bit unnerving. Turns out I never hit save. To this day I can't figure out how to save the changes.
I delivered to her a few more times. The first three times she was waiting at the end of her dirt driveway. It's probably wide enough for three cars to park side by side and long enough for three to park end to end. Each time she would make the comment that she knew it would be me. Then one day she wasn't waiting at the end of the driveway. So I parked and began to walk up to the door. Each step was difficult as my feet were sinking into mud that smelled strongly of sewage. The whole yard and driveway was flooded, it may as well have been marsh. Or a swamp. I had to hold my breath and breathe sparingly. I didn't say a word to her when I handed the food over, because I would gag if I inhaled too deeply.
The next time I delivered I expected the issue to be resolved but no, the property was just as rank and flooded as last time. At least five deliveries were made to her door, after treading through disgusting mud.
Now is a good time to explain some of the perks of our delivery app! You can see the name of the driver, their location, eta, and you can leave instructions for the driver. Examples are as follows:
!CONTACTLESS! LEAVE AT DOOR
beware of dog, meet at x location/call on arrival
(description of hard to locate house)
Tip in envelope
dogs are loud but friendly
etc etc...
She never left any instructions. Nothing at all. And I always check because it's in the navigation app, and printed in bold on the top of the receipt right under the house number. Since she always told me she knew it was me, I knew she used the app.
The Incident
One day I get there, yard still flooded, and there is a dog laying down on the front steps. I check for instructions and I see nothing. At first I hesitate, but not because of the dog, because of the mud. It's deeper every time and I dread walking through it. It suctions my feet in. It feels like walking with weights. The dog is a white pitbull with the cutest pink nose, and It's laying down. No barking, no raised hair or growling. I am unfortunately a pitbull empathizer. I know they aren't naturally child eating monsters, it's usually dog fighters that breed them and raise them to be that way. So I begin to walk toward the steps. Confident that this dog is no threat. If you were expecting pizza, and used a tracker, you would keep your aggressive animals away from the door or driveway. Or at least leave instructions to call while still in your car so they can put the dog in.
I was too trusting.
My foot hit the first step, the dog is still laying down, now less than a foot away from me. It looks up at me and I say "hiii" in my baby talking dogs voice. As if the dog teleported I was instantly being attacked. The dog went only for the backs of my knees, biting and shaking its head. I was knocked off balance and tossed the pizza into the mud. I started to try and get away while this dog bit me repeatedly, and shook like it was trying to tear off a chunk of my leg. It was snarling loudly the whole time. I fell down into the mud because I couldn't lift my feet out of the mud fast enough to balance myself while I tried to escape. I managed to get upright before the dog lunged again, and eventually someone came outside and called the dog in. Then I was alone, and my legs were screaming in pain. I limped to my car rather fast, probably running off the adrenaline, and called the store.
my boss picked up and all I could say without crying was "I just got my legs f*cked up by a dog and I dropped their pizza, what do I do?! It hurts so bad." She told me just go to the hospital and they will deal with the customer. I typed in hospital and started navigating to the first result, as I was in so much pain it was actually hard to think of anything else.
You know that hard tendon thing on the outer side of your knee? I felt like mine was falling off. I felt like I could feel it bleeding and dangling. I called my husband and told him what happened, and that I was going to the hospital. Then I called my parents. Honestly I just needed someone to talk to, to distract me from the pain. It helped as much as drinking water helps a stab wound. I got to the hospital and wanted to call someone to help me inside because I was seriously struggling to get my legs to work properly. Every step my knees would give out and I ended up walking like a newborn deer. I looked and felt rediculous. I decided I didn't want to risk being overdramatic. Even though walking was incredibly difficult and painful, I was still mobile.
The hospital visit may aswell been a visit to the school nurse. I sat in the lobby crying for two hours. Then someone took me back, looked at it, and asked what happened. Then I was sent back to the lobby for another hour. Finally I was taken to the trauma unit where a doctor came in, looked at it again, and basically said "yeah that's a dog bite." As they were talking discharge I asked why my legs felt like they were asleep. Ever since the attack, alongside the pain was a buzzing sensation that wouldn't stop. The doctor said it was some kind of temporary nerve damage because of the bites to the soft backs of my knees.
They counted six bleeding bites, but since I was wearing some men's work pants, I had been protected enough to not need stitches. If I had been naked, the bite force would have been enough to rip the meat from my bones. They told me do not go up and down stairs, get up and down out of chairs, in and out of cars etc for at least a week or I could risk making the damage worse. So I was out of work for a week.
Someone had to take me out to my car in a wheelchair, and help me in. I drove back to work, and had someone help me inside so I could fill out the injury report for workers comp.
My first few days back I had to work short hours because I would get this exploding pain in the back of my Left knee, which took the most damage, if I was on my feet for more than an hour at a time.
ffw a few weeks and I get a letter from the store owner's insurance company stating that they will pay any related medical bills, but they won't be paying for my days out. I call the owner and explain what I read. He called them retarted and said he would make some calls to try and sort it out.
I have the MyChart app, and the hospital visit was logged by then. So I checked out the report and notes. There was a diagram of the location of the bites, discharge notes and other notes. I read the notes, and saw one that among other things said "no difficulty walking." I'm really irritated by this, and now I'm wondering if this is why workers comp is refusing to pay me for my time out of work.
Aside from this I called the lawyer my boss uses, and they apparently don't take injury cases, so they referred me elsewhere. After finally getting a call back from lawyer 2, and a long conversation, he told me he won't take my case since I didn't need stitches. He referred me to another lawyer that I have yet to call since Monday was a holiday and his office was closed. It's 5am where I am.
The reasons I'm getting a lawyer are because this incident was so traumatic that I freeze up anytime an excited dog barks at me or even walks in my direction. Also because the buzzing in my left leg has yet to go away, and I can't fully extend my left leg without pain behind the knee. It's been nearly two months. Plus I don't know if workers comp will come through and the week out of work caused me to miss a car payment. Now I'm behind and since I'm paycheck to paycheck, I don't have enough to pay twice to get caught up.
While talking to my mom about the incident, she suddenly had an angry expression, and told me "I think that girl did this on purpose." she put the puzzle pieces together with me, and now I have a new fear. This girl is really crazy, and I've seen it before. I'm genuinely scared she might try to hurt me in other ways now. She has been banned from our store as far as I know, but she knows where I work.
I want to get some kind of restraining order and fine her for the neglect, and emotional damages. Honestly she should be charged for animal abuse. There's no way her dog was that aggressive for no reason. I had tried to file a police report once I was out of the hospital and a little more clear minded. They said there's nothing they can do about it, and referred me to some kind of animal police. They said they could find out if the dog was vaccinated for rabies for me so I said yes please let me know. They never called me back either.
WTH do I do here? Everything is so messed up. It's like no one cares. Sometimes I space out and unwillingly replay the incident in my head. Once I delivered to a house that looked a lot like hers, and I suddenly forgot that I wasn't at her house, I wondered when her yard finally dried up. I wondered why we accepted her order. I thought she was banned. Then I heard barking dogs and froze up completely. It wasn't until the customer turned on their porchlight and opened their door that I snapped out of it and completed the delivery.
I'm messed up, mentally and physically, and no one is helping me. What should I do?

Hello. I dont know why but I do feel bad for writing this. I need to put my feelings here and get the harsh critic back if needed. I dont exactly get why I have grown such a resentment for my MIL when my boyfriend wants her to come over, spend time with her or speaks with her on the phone.
Im 28 and my bf is 29, we have been together for 4 years now. He has always been a mommys boy, they are speaking daily and his mother lives very close to us, also visits us at least once a week. His mother knows every little aspect of his life, also everything about his finances, our family matters etc. We have fight a lot about the last one and finally last 6 months he have begun to understand that he doesn't need to speak about everything related to our relationship.
When I first met his mother I felt like she was the best person I have ever met, so calm, helpful, always wanting to spend time together. I have a son from my previous relationship, she took him as his own grandchild. I was so happy that I had a MIL like her. I was even happy that we had her in our lives with so much presence, seemed that she knew answer to every problem. Later on learnt the hard way that blood is thicker than water and I should not trust her like my own mother..
Then one day she told me that now she feels his son now has someone (she has 1 other son too, but he is closer with his father), and she can took the step she has always wanted to take - divorce his husband (my bf father). I was shocked, they had a great relationship. Few months later they got a divorce. She had a lot of different men in her life and she started drinking heavily which she does til this day (on the weekends and holidays). Seemed liked she finally lived the life she always wanted to live - get drunk every weekend and flirt with men and let the diva in her out.
She started to call me less and write me less, only speaking with his son, and became weirdly possessive about him. Always asking him to do things for her, to took her car to repairment shop, do some housework at hers etc etc. Boyfriend always runs to her the second she calls (she has a boyfriend, whom she often speaks that he is a useless ugly man, but still continues to be with him - boyfriend does everything for her and loves her sincerely).
She gets super trashy and bossy when drunk, for example: we rented a summer-house for the weekend, invited my boyfriends mother and her boyfriend + other family from his and my side. The summer-house had a joint boat port with land neighbors. She was so drunk that she was jelling and dancing and asking them continiously there, if they want to sleep with her and her boyfriend and they should definately swing that night. Thats just one example. Mind you, we had 2 little children there, one of them were his boyfriends daughter.
///
Last year I had an abortion. We were using protection but it happened. My boyfriend told his mother about my pregnancy 2 days later and I felt super awkward. I knew from the start that I wanted to abort but now when we weren't the only one knowing this I started to force myself into thought that this is meant to be (MIL-s words) and so be it. I was finishing my law degree, both had low salary jobs. We rented a condo from my uncle and didn't have any financial stability - I felt like this was just a wrong timing, my exams were super intense and took all my time. I literally cried daily beacuse I felt such pressure. I had my first son when I was 19 and didn't have anything. I know exactly how hard it is to survive with small child when you don't have much and promised myself then I will do anything to secure and stabilize our future.
We had spoke about having children a lot with bf, but after securing our life (having our own place, both have proper jobs etc). Boyfriend was on the same wave lenght as me. My MIL said to my boyfriend when she found out that I am aborting, that I am basically a piece of shit and didn't love him, he should be with someone who loves him truly and I am using him (didn't understand that part bc we always have paid everything 50-50 + we are using both my car for example).
She didn't say anything to me ofcourse.. I still wrote to her that I feel extremely bad about everything and I hope that she didn't meant what she said about me (I found ot that she was drunk, hoping that maybe she really was overemotional orsmth) and that I really do love her son, just some things need to wait for us to get our life together. She was cold and answered something like that next day: ha-ha, I already got over it, why are you still making a big thing about it? I was shocked. After that I started feeling resentment towards her.
Boyfriend saw me upset and he got weird.. I was telling him that I feel very sad about everything. He told me that she told his mother that she shouldnt say things like that but I feel like he actually didn't. Everything she does, he always defends her and says he is happy that she is living life, and so what she is a diva - he is still my mother. He is getting along well with his boyfriend etc. But on the other hand hates his fathers new girlfriend. I dont know, its everything just so weird what is happening I can't describe it good enough.
Please help. Am I in the wrong for feeling these emotions towards her?
She still visits us at least once a week. I am friendly with her and have tried to forget about it all but I just cant help myself to feel weird everytime she is with us. I feel like she actually don't like me.