Birthday ideas for boyfriends

I don’t know if I’m looking for validation, or even just other people’s thoughts and opinions. But it feels relieving to write this.
My friend of six years (and roommate for 4 1/2) is very, very pretty. She draws lots of attention at our workplace, which has a high amount of staff and lots of people who come and go. She recently found confidence in her looks due to the attention and I’m very happy for her in that regard. She also likes having sex, which I fully support as long as it’s safe and I’m not home.
What I don’t support is that the majority of men she sleeps with are in relationships.
There have been unique conditions, like one guy who was (possibly) an abusive relationship, and another who was separated from his wife (not divorced), and another that may or may not have a girlfriend. Even so, she has had no problem flirting and sleeping with taken men. And it, to my core, disgusts me.
I have no control over her, of course. I can express my distaste and she brushes it off. But with the latest guy, who she promised she wouldn’t do anything with (“we just kissed and cuddled”), I think I’m done.
She has no sympathy for the other women in the relationship and claims almost zero responsibility for being the other woman. And yet, she’s always claimed that she absolutely hates cheaters. Which I now know means she hates the idea of a man cheating on her.
I genuinely hope one day she finds someone she is able to connect with emotionally, and is so happy, and that he fucking cheats on her. Maybe then she’ll grow up.
And I know it’s terrible of me to feel this way about a friend, but after choosing sex with a guy over letting me go to sleep ON MY BIRTHDAY, I think I can be justified, if only a little.

If you got tickets for someone as a gift to go with you to a show how would you go about announcing the surprise? I got tickets for my partner and I want a fun way to tell them for their birthday! Something Phish themed or something clever? Got any ideas? Thanks!

I have been dating with a guy (38M) for 7months. We have been seeing each other once a week consistently. When I met him I just broke up from relationship and I told him that I wanted to take it slow. 3 months ago, I asked him if he’s using dating apps and he said “No, the only person I want to see romantically is you”. So we became somewhat “official”, decided not to see other person, but didn’t label us as boyfriend-girlfriend.
In the beginning of our relationships, he was texting often, talking about our future travel plan etc, but I started feeling him distancing himself slowly after we became “official”. It’s hard to describe but I can feel that he is not so interested in my life anymore. But we still kept seeing once a week constantly.
He has his friends group(among 2 of them are his ex-hookups/situationships) and he considers them as a family(although their friendship started less than 2years ago), and he hangs out with them 2-3 times a week and texting every day. They go travel together and he talked about those 2 girls very often in our conversation. I felt jealous that he spent so much time with them and didn’t seem investing in time with me so last month I asked him if he wants to see me more often. I also told him about I’m feeling bit jealous about ex-hookups.
After that conversation everything started feeling off. He is there but not mentally there. He avoid “deeper” conversations, and when we have, he shuts down and needs 1-2 weeks to come back.
He said he has been single for 6 years and he’s looking for a “special one”. Last girl who he dated was the one of his best friend now. He said he suddenly felt “off” out of nowhere after dating few weeks with her, and became best friends after. He said it’s his pattern. He has no idea where those “off” switch comes from. And he told me that “I am lost and I don’t think I can be anyone’s boyfriend ever. I have commitment issue. I can’t promise you anything but I also don’t want to hurt you”.
Few weeks ago, we had a conversation that if I want to see other person I can. And I felt weird and sad so I decided to take some time off from him.
After 3 weeks break, we have been texting what it would be best for us. He suggested that we keep seeing each other like before but it should be casual and open but I said I don’t want “open” relationships. He said he’s not gonna look for new date now but maybe some point he want to. And he kept saying he doesn’t wanna “hurt me” so we should be careful about our “awakening” moment. He said he is completely lost too that he doesn’t know what he wants.
I like him and i want to be his gf someday, but I feel like he’s gonna just lose all interest out of nowhere and leave. Should I just leave him and move on? Or should I stay with him and see where it goes?

So i have this friend who is dating for abt 3 months im not friends with his boyfriend but i know him, i had lunch with him a bunch of times and i cant stand the thought that i helped my friend cheat him. Thats totally against my morals and i conflicted, i know it was wrong and i feel terible but at the same time im so atracted to him and i just wanna kiss him again. It started two weeks ago when i got drunk at a friends house and end up sitting on the floor between his legs huging his waist while he played with my hair, i flirted with him and he told me i looked pretty when i was drunk, he also caressed my waist under my shirt. After that day we started hugging for longer than friends normally hug each other and spend more time with together. Whenever our friend would comment abt it we'd get mad and say something like "HE HAS A BOYFRIEND, GOD" and deny everything, even to ourselves, we'd pretend that everything was normal. But than he started putting his hand on my tigh, griping it, holding my waist etc... Yesterday we were at a friends birthday party and i talked with him for the fist time abt the fact that he has a boyfriend, i told him that it isnt fair to him what we are doing and that i feel really bad abt it, he told me that he also felt bad abt it but the way the conversation went it didnt seems like he has any intention of breaking up with him. He told me that i shoudnt feel bad, that im not foing any thing wrong, that he is the only one in the wrong in this situation, but know im wrong, i feel like the worse human being in the world. And i like him so much that when we had the chance i didnt though twice abt kissing him when we were alone at the backyard or in the bathroom. I cant talk with our friend abt it and i feel terrible, i not sure he will break up but he has told me that he doesnt see a future with him, i dont know what i should do

So. It's my birthday today. I have never had the feeling so strong when I have woke up. I don't know what caused the switch from when I went to sleep last night(which I was in a pretty good mood). I woke up today. And feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. I feel like someone extremely close to me died. Or something even worse. It is so strong in me that I am struggling to just have a calm thought and can not sit still and every fiber in my body that makes who I am just wants to run as far away from people , which is extremely screwing with me because family and friends are sending there birthday wish and trying to talk to me. And I'm trying to be cool and not let anyone notice that there is something bad going on. I really don't want to do this anymore. I am tired of having this empty feeling. I've delt with it forever. And have been really trying to work on it. I have a good positive family and a couple really good friends. So why is it getting worse. Why. And the last 6 months have went into a spiral. I'm falling into a deep hole. I make totally drastic decisions out of nowhere when I get like this. Please please. I have no idea how to deal with this. I never have attempted suicide. Although I've always had a lot of mental issues. I just never had the feeling like it was the solution. I don't feel that way now. Right now. In this fucking moment. I would love nothing more then to feel a purpose for my existence. Or just the feeling that someone wants you and only you. I'm 47 and I've never had that feeling in my life . I've had pletty of relationships. But always felt I was there back up plan. Does anyone know how that feels. How fucked uup of a feeling that is. I don't know how to describe it all. I am probably not making much sense so I'm done

Me (28F) wedding is scheduled for September 15th, a date that holds special significance for my fiancé (30M) and me because it's our anniversary. We've been planning this day for over a year, and everything is set in motion — venue, vendors, invitations sent, the whole nine yards.
Enter my sister (32F), who recently booked a non-refundable, two-week vacation to Italy with her boyfriend, leaving on September 10th. She claims she forgot my wedding date when booking the trip. Now, she’s demanding I move my wedding date so she can attend. She insists it’s unfair for me to expect her to cancel a trip she’s been looking forward to for months.
I suggested she could join us virtually, but she scoffed at the idea, saying it’s not the same. Our parents are pressuring me to accommodate her, arguing that family comes first and that it’s just a date. They’ve even gone as far as to say they might not attend if she can't be there, hoping that will push me to change my mind.
However, changing the date would mean losing our deposits and re-planning everything, which would be both stressful and expensive. My fiancé and I are firm about keeping our original date, but now my family is accusing me of being inflexible and selfish.
So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to change my wedding date for my sister’s vacation?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year after ending a horrible loveless marriage about 2 years ago. When my boyfriend (55) and I (40) met, sparks flew and we hit it off immediately. I had already given up on the idea of having children after being stuck in an unfulfilling marriage so it was a surprise when my boyfriend and I learned we were pregnant with my first baby (he has 2 teenage children). During the duration of our relationship (much of it being pregnant), he has given me various nicknames including some that I find hurtful and rude. He’s trying to be funny and gives other people nicknames but I just wish it was something more endearing from him, especially being pregnant and carrying his child. Things between us have gotten more strained at we approached our baby’s due date, yesterday, and I can’t help but start to internalize his various nicknames. In the duration of our relationship, he’s called me “not too choosy floozy”, “mostly white woman” (I’m multiracial), “5/8 fiancée”, “incubator”, and most recently “almost MILF.” Not only does he call me these names but he’ll change how I am identified in his cell phone so these various names have come up at different times on his cell phone. I have told him that its offensive and hurtful, especially “not too choosy floozy” since I had recently been separated before meeting him. Right now, I feel like I’m losing autonomy in my pregnancy having had the due date come and go yesterday and I truly just feel like an incubator. There was some concern 4 days ago about decreased fetal movement and we called L&D triage who advised us to do fetal movement counts. The baby started moving more normally and has been pretty active since then but he was still upset and concerned about the decreased fetal movements, despite me telling him and trying to reassure him that I was feeling the baby actively move normally in the last few days. I also tried to get him to feel the movements but he was too impatient and didn’t feel what I was feeling. We had an argument last night and ended up going to get checked out at L&D triage to appease him and all the fetal heart monitoring and activity was normal. They checked my cervix which had no signs of dilation or effacement yet. I’m just not in early labor yet, which is what I also have been telling him, but I feel like things are progressing as expected with some BH contractions and low pelvic cramping but not consistent with any patterns. On the way home he basically told me he’s only worried about the baby and not what I’m feeling. So not only do I not feel heard and unsupported, I truly feel like I am just an incubator at this point. I feel like I’m stuck and not seen for who I am as a complete person and it feels so degrading, especially trying everything I can to be a good mom to our unborn baby. When it comes time, I don’t know that I even want him in the delivery room.

As the title says, what do you think? I did read a few comments here and there, so I'll share my ideas and maybe expand upon existing ones.
Birthday (Player): It's cool that the Agents have birthdays, so I wonder if Belle and Wise have official ones, if they do, then I do wonder how and what purpose our Player Birthday could be for, yeah free stuff, but idk what else it can do?
Maybe small dialogue changes from NPCS and Agents, idk, how it can work for the players, if Belle and Wise if have official birthdays.
Birthdays (Agents): Same thing but for Agents, maybe they could send a mail personally from them, and ask to personally invite us in a specific day/evening or night. (Would love to see like no specific time ngl, just straight up available during the day till the night).
Birthday Events (Special): If it's a Birthday of an Agent like Anby/Billy/Nicole, one of them could notify or at least initiate a conversation with you and ask if you want to spend some time with them. Which will increase the trust of a specific faction.
But the one who has a birthday gets the most benefits and have discounts and some special items during their birthday.
Maybe during it, they could say "I feel hungry wish I could eat something right now" so you could give something related to the current event (and some minimal differences if it does not meet the requirements).
And before the whole day ends you could gift one of the Agents to increase/decrease their trust tremendously if given or some dialogue for it to say goodnight and goodbye.
Trust: Even if they probably invite you in an event, quite sure in certain scenarios are locked behind it, so maybe this could help and unlock some extra bonuses in a faction or agent.
(Maybe this should unlock Birthday Events, so at least they won't just randomly invite you/some stranger when they met you moments ago, but idk, just a random thought).
And maybe unlocks certain dialogue and events early, for some agents (and possible new ones) regardless of their trust levels, even if they barely know you, they could trust the ones in the faction they're in and talk about a specifc character.
And possibly gain more gifts via mail from Agents when it's your birthday? And maybe a special exclusive item from them once they have a max trust value. Idk sounds like a cute idea lol.
Seasonal Events and Seasonal Outfits (Special): If there's seasons, maybe everyone (yes everyone) gets to wear something on a holiday and have a break from missions, maybe some generous discount/increase prices, special exclusive holiday items etc.
(Which is probably disabled/unable to use during it the holidays, but idk if that sounds like a bad idea).
So maybe spending a holiday with a faction (or maybe everyone if possible) could give a special picture with the faction(s).
I guess a photo album can work to record these events and moments together.
That's probably all the ideas I have, was thinking of adding these ideas to a survey if they do, and maybe add the rest of ideas below here too probably.
I'm seriously excited for what they could do and possible add in this game, so the thought/feedback does count. This sounds like...a lot of work and effort.
(Note: Totally and seriously not an excuse for my favourite being on screen and possible give me something as a gift and maybe personally receive an invitation from them and die in happiness/hj)

My 20 year old daughter has completed a medical certificate program and been offered her first job in that field. I’m super proud of that. For context, this comes after a failed attempt at a 4 year university (which I have a loan for). She went into her first year with 22 college hours earned during high school. It was not academics that were the problem. The school was a terrible fit, and it was another time I tried to get her to look at other options. Her then-boyfriend was there and convinced her it was where she should be. It was the only college she considered.
She was recently offered a job in the city that university was in. It’s really the only place she looked. The only housing she can afford would be apartments set up for students where you pay by the room. The car she’s been driving (older, with higher miles) also has a small loan in my name. She made the payments during her break from school. She pays the insurance and gas. When she began looking for jobs with the intention of moving to this city, I told her I wasn’t comfortable with the car going there while it’s in my name. If it breaks down and she doesn’t want to fix it, I have to be the one to deal with it. It’s older and though it hasn’t given us major problems yet, it’s definitely not a new car.
She was offered this job Friday and has found an open room to rent. She’s insistent that she wants THIS job, but really, she wants to be in THIS city. I’ve tried talking to her about working locally, saving, and getting some experience to set herself up for success when she does move. Here is my dilemma… she doesn’t have enough money saved to buy the car outright from me. If I refuse to let her take it, I feel that she will be resentful. I’m not sure if she can move without one. There is a limited commuter rail, but I’m not sure if it would get her to her job location. I asked her to create a quick budget of what she felt her expenses would be but she has not. She insists that her expenses will be limited by choosing these apartments targeted at students. However, I remember horror stories of extra fees from parents with students in apartments during her time there. The university is also in a high-crime area, and cars are regularly broken into, which could also come back on me financially.
I’m not trying to keep her home, but I don’t want her to need to come back because she set herself up to fail again. She has struggled with her mental health after her dad walked away from our family (They were super close and he was very involved until he wasn’t at all.) and even more so after her brief college experience. She’s been in therapy consistently, but it is also a factor.
I’m at a loss. I don’t need the car, but I also need to protect myself financially. She absolutely expects me to allow her to take it.
Any ideas? Her older siblings are all successfully supporting themselves. One is still at home but pays all her own expenses plus a small rent to me.

Hi all,
I am quite clueless when it comes to golf but personally have a Fenix 7 Pro for hiking, running and that sort of thing. With fathers day (which coincides with his birthday actually) around the corner I'm running out of ideas for a guy who pretty much has it all. He LOVES golfing and will go out 3+ times a week sometimes, but generally wouldn't like if he had to stop and input shots and slowed down his game.
Since my mom, brother, and I all have Garmin's I was looking to add my dad to the group so maybe he'd be healthier and also for his golf game! The problem lies in if he has to manually input shots or if the data/process is generally more of a pain than it's worth, then it's a whole lot of money for something that he wouldn't be able to enjoy (and that's kind of the point here!).
So for those of you that have this combo, is it generally hands-off and the data is fairly accurate? Do you enjoy having it yourself or is it more of a pain than its worth? I have been reading a lot of other reviews and it seems to really be a 50/50 of "it's great and I like it" or "not worth the money don't bother" - so I'm hoping that you all can help me out! Thank you.

This situation has been going on for quite a while and I need people opinions about it. (I’m sorry for my poor English).
Me and my bestfriend have known each other for almost 5 years. He was the first person I have ever felt a real connection with in all my life and it’s thanks to him that I feel like I’m alive. We spent a lot of time together in school, playing video games and also going outside. We also got to a point in our friendship where we both opened up about our problems.
It was in this occasion that I started to feel that something was off. After some things he said about friendships in general (which I won’t talk about in this post firstly out of respect, secondly cause it would make it too long) I had the impression that he was more connected with a friend we have in common than with me.
At the moment I thought that was totally fine, but later on I realised how unfair it was. He was my brother, my priority in life, my bestfriend above all, even my family, and for him I was nothing more than a second choice. I was second place to someone who didn’t even care about him the way I did and more than that put other people above him. I didn’t talk about it with him though as I didn’t wanna be seen as the one trying to sabotage their friendship despite the fact that everything I had to say was real.
Fast forward a year and the situation is still the same. We are still bestfriends and as all young people do we start to dream about things we could do in the upcoming summer. All ideas and even promises that were broken. During summer we ended up seeing each other only 4-5 times (counting some birthdays that were celebrated in those months) despite the fact I always reached out to him and asked him to hang out, to which he always answered ‘no’ or found stupid excuses becoming dryer and dryer at every text. I ended up rotting in bed for most of the season, even though we told each other we would have done lots of things.
Later on I asked him about why he seemed to be wanting to avoid me, maybe he was having some problems in private so I asked. He said that everything was okay and that we had hang out already too much, but that he would make an effort to hang out more. Blinded by the love (platonic love) I felt for him I excused him once again. However that was a mistake. In the following months (up until December) I still tried to create occasions to see each other. To all my questions he always replied no.
At this time I started to realize that maybe he was a bad friend after all. He never asked about my day (I did), he didn’t read most of my texts, he always admitted to not care about what I was talking about (I thought he was joking but maybe he wasn’t), he was always dry, he never reached out first, he never made time for me. All things that I did to him because I loved him (platonically).
I decided once again to talk about it with him. I specified how I felt about everything, how I didn’t feel appreciated and how I was always comprehensive about the situations. At first he was angry. He replied he was sick of being seen as ‘the bad friend’. Then he calmed down and said that he was sorry I felt that way, that he would try to reach out first and make time for me and that he still considered me as his bestfriend and also loved me. But I didn’t feel that. It felt like he never wanted to be with me alone. The only times we would be together were only if our other friends were with us. But that wasn’t the case with his other ‘bestfriend’. Whenever this friend suggested something he was always down and never came up with different excuses.
To cut it short. It’s been 5 months since that conversation and the one to still start the conversation, the one still trying to see each other, the one still putting effort into the friendship was me. All his effort went to that other ‘friend’ we have in common (who I get bad vibes from). That’s when I realised I was watering a dead plant.
So, AITA for ghosting my ‘bestfriend’?

Me and my best friend are both 19 and 4 years ago, I ended up liking one of his ex right after they broke up. She was always very friendly with me and tried to be very close to me. I always hung up fast and pushed her away but when they broke up I ended up making moves on her without thinking, I was 15 and had no relationship experience, I realized my mistake and my friend forgave me. Told some time to build back trust and be good friend again.
Now where much closer and another situation happened. We both liked the same girl in a freshmen summer college program and i ended up pursuing her and continuing to like her while he didn’t. We were very friendly with one another and i ended off the program giving her a hug and she said she’ll miss me. I felt like there could have been more with us if i just told my shot. I ended up texting her over the rest of the summer left and I enjoyed texting her. I wanted to get on call with her but she shut that down instantly and soon after ended up ghosting me for days on her roblox and nap grind. I lost interest after that. Then when the fall semester started I went to the other campus while her and my bestfriend went to the main campus. My friend knew about everything with me and her. I told him I didn’t like her anymore and it ended up nowhere obviously. They started to get closer and hanged out a lot on campus, mainly alone. Over time they started going out and end up liking eachother. My bestfriend is very friendly and physical with girls. Always ended up a lady’s man.
I wasn’t very comfortable about it especially when being around them if I did go to the main campus but i didn’t have anything with her and things were going somewhere with them so way have a problem. I just let them be, he knew she was weird but was down to just mess around. Doing cute relationship things never hurt no one and they ended up stop talking to eachother. She later on ended off unfollowed him and blocked him.
Later on a few months she wished me a happy birthday and starts to chat with me (I told my bestfriend this). I was down to be cool and since my bestfriend is transferring next semester. Having someone to be cool with her and there would have hurt. After a week and a half of texting she invited me to go out to eat with a group. Her friend and her boyfriend and maybe another girl. I was down to go the next day and when I was on the train, my friend called to hang out and I said I was going out with her and a group. He hung up and now he’s saying it part 2 of my first mistake.
I understand i never got far with her and he did, especially with her guaranteed liking him but I wasn’t trying to make a move. Did i mess up again or are we both maybe in the wrong.
TL;DR! I was trying to be cool with my friends last talking stage who I also liked before. She invited me to eat out in a group and now I might lose my best friend.

I grew up in Germany and when I was 13, moved to Australia with my family. Fast forward 5 years and my dad was desperate for me to go back for a year after highschool and a failed year of university. I reluctantly said yes, because I didn't know anyone over there anymore, and spent 10 months with my grandmother. A good former friend of my dads, and my godfather, took me under his wing as well for a while, and handed me an investment account as soon as I arrived. It had a decent sum in it for an 18 year old and I was told that people had donated money into it for my birthdays and Christmas since I was born.
Fast forward 20 years, and my dad had a massive argument with this friend about something I'm not aware of and they are not talking anymore. I haven't been in contact with my godfather for the last 15 years either, due to my parents splitting up and not being able to keep up with the back and forth emails after a few years - life goes on. Now I found out that the money given to me was his idea and mostly his money he gave me, whereas I was always told it was a family thing. I managed to put myself through college with it and feel really bad now, especially since I don't know where he is or what his contact is. I don't even know what I would say to him if I ever found him again. The whole thing is a bit messed up and I feel really guilty now for not knowing.

My ex girlfriend and I were together for 2 years and 4 months. I was his fifth boyfriend while she was my first official girlfriend (since my 2nd year h/s fling isn't included).
To give a context, I met her when she was still in a relationship with here 4th bf, tho it was about to end because she had issues against the man. my ex and I started as friends, via chat and our relationship progressed too fast that after a week, I decided to admit my feelingsfor her - with the intention to just confess then move on. But No, she also admitted about her feelings. Of course, since she was still in a relationship at that time (tho they in a cool off) we decided to stop our conversation. Unfortunately we can't. We were so attached and emotionally invested in each other that we just can't let go. My point here is that, right from the start we knew that there was something unexplainably unique about our relationship. To the point that I already believed that there is indeed destiny.
However, our relationship was not as good as it seem to others. We had so many issues, some were unresloved. But the worst (I guess) was my anger issues. I easily get disappointed to persons close to me, because I expect them to understand and know me, hence, I tend to say harsh things, yelling at people around me - an attitude which I got from my own family (of course, I'm not blaming them, but just to give a context). Nevertheless, please do note that I don't hurt people physically. For so many times she asked me to change it or else she might leave. I did promise her that I'll change, I made effort to change, and I know and she knew that I made some progress. However, I couldn't completely get rid of it, I still have that anger issues whereas I still lash out when I cannot anymore control my emotions. No matter how hard I try to change, still it seems that it's a part of me, and I guess I need pychological help.
The last time that I lashed out to her was April 6, but I was able to say sorry and make it up to her (I thought I did). However, she broke up with me at the midnight of April 16th, two two days after our monthsary: She asked me if I'll be upset if she woulf have to breakup with me. That time, I realized that maybe I just had to giver her some space because I thought that we just needed SOME time apart (because we've done it before and we even broke up for a week). But the last time was different. We broke up in good terms but after a few days she started to spite me, and even started talking with other men. (Twas too fast, I believe).
So I decided to talk to her in person (because we broke up in chat because I can't see her during those time - but also note that distance was never an issue here...) and when we met, I begged her to come back. CryingI pleaded for several times, but each time she would say no - that her decision is final. Explaining that even her friendswould look down on her if she would still enter into a relationship with me, and even her mother was already upset to me (I heard it on the phone when she called my ex while we were talking). And most of all, she said that she can't anymore wait for my growth/change. We cried. But still we had amake out and hugged each other. She even told me how she loved me so much; "but I have to choose myself this time" she said.
Now, it's been a month since our breakup. But it's still so fresh for me. I still cry even today. I'm so attached to her and dependent that I don't know how to live without her. I love her so much despite hurting her emotionally. I've sworn to myself that if ever I'll be given a chance to hsve her back, I'll never mess it up again. I know I'm do stupid for doing it too late. But you know, I still hsve this hope in me, that although her words tell that it's over, yet her actions would somehow show the contrary for many reasons, such as: 1. She still keeps all the things I gave her and she asked me to keep also some of her things like her guitar (which she said would be of more use to me than her), and she asked me to keep our picture in a frame which she used to place on her desk (because she said she would just get hurt by looking at it). 2. I told her when we met that I'll be waiting for her, so long as she doesn't have a boyfriend yet, and her reply: "please don't pressure me". If I really do not anymore have the chance, she could've instead told me not to wait anymore. 3. Although she posts and reposts about relationship problems with men - and at the same time about her current happenings with a man, which they are now in a talking stage - she still get to look at my stories, posts, and I even made a playlist on spotify wherein I invited her to join and she accepted. AND: she is used in posting her thoughts and rants about our relationship problems in Twitter, but lately ever since I started sharing my sentiments also in Threads, she also did the same! She is now posting in Threads, not anymore in Twitter - and I know so that I'll het hurt, and at the same time I'll get to know (or st least, have an idea) about her current life happenings.
4.Also, she still asked me to attend her graduation.

1. Lastly, in EVERY letter she wrote to me, she told me about how much she loves me (always / forever) and how much she looks forward to marry me. I still hold on to that until now. Because of thise words and actions she have shown, I am still hoping that she will return.

Damn, I love that girl so much that I am willing to give up anything for her (even though I find it too hard to change my attitude despite my serious efforts). But.. but, I badly want to change, I just don't know how I'll do it successfully. I promised myself that she will be the last girl I will ever lov in my life. After all, I don't think there is still love left to give to another when I gave it all to her.
Please, I need your opinions. So my questions are: 1. Is it still possible to fix our broken relationship? 2. If yes, what should I do, provided that she asked me not to contact her for a while? (No specific time frame was provided). 3. My guts tell me that I have to do something or else I'll lose her entirely since she's starting to tall to other men (tho according to her are just for fun), however, the fact that she told me not to have contact with her temporarily, I'm stumped whether I should talk to her and when should I.
Thank you, I hope you'll have the patience and kindess to read this.

Question for all. My sister is basically a piece of garbage (28yr old) . She’s had shitty jobs for a long time and has lived with my parents for the last 4 years and her boyfriend before. She has no money saved up and a decent amount of debt in personal loans and credit cards, I don’t know exact total. She just got her second DUI and totaled her car that also didn’t have insurance, owes 8k on it still and my parents co-signed for it as well. She won’t be able to drive for a while and will have more fines and fees coming up.
My question is is bankruptcy a route she should take? My fear is she will drain all of my parents money as they try and pay her life off and drive her around while she can’t, for the foreseeable future. I feel bankruptcy could help her get a fresh start but don’t know much about it, and am not sure if the car loan my parents co-signed would just go to them then anyways.
Any ideas or advice is helpful, thank you! She’s in Michigan btw.

I am not the OOP. The OOP is u/TASoDHype posting in AITAH
Concluded as per OOP
1 update - Medium
Original - 16th May 2024
Update - 17th May 2024
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AITAH for leaving my fiancée after I learned there were strippers at her bachelorette party?
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What the title reads basically. I(29M) and my ex-fiancée(29F) were together for 5 years. We should have been married now in the normal conditions but I broke up with her and cancelled the wedding 2 days before it because they invited male strippers to bachelorette party. I am personally not a fan of these parties but reluctantly agreed after both groom & bride side confirmed we would keep it simple. I told my ex-fiancée I am not comfortable with strippers or other kind of crazy things. She agreed. I also told my friends if they were to do a stupid thing without me knowing, we would have problems.
We stayed at my friends' summer house and chilled there by the pool, did some wow raids and played board games. My ex-fiancée and her friends went to a restaurant then rented an airbnb. There was no problem during the night and next day I asked how things went. She and her close friends said it was really chill and good. We returned to the city centre after that.
I encountered another bridesmaid that day when I was shopping for a bracelet for my ex-fiancée for her upcoming birthday. I asked that girl how's everything as we were in the same department at the college but rarely talk now. She is closer with my fiancée than me. She said it's going good and last night was crazy with all the strippers. After saying that she looked uncomfortable. I asked her about the details but she was not willing to tell much. I think she realized she should not have talked about it. I laughed, said goodbye and left.
I confronted my fiancée and she seemed surprised about it. She was denying it first, then told me nothing crazy happened and one of the bridesmaids invited strippers. I reminded her that it was a strict boundary for me. I asked about the details but she said there was nothing much with strippers just solo dances and that's it. I told her I need some time to think.
Almost all of the bridesmaids messaged me ensuring nothing happened when I was on my way back home(definitely not coordinated). Things happened after that but in the end I decided to break up and cancel the wedding. I lost some money since it was only 2 days before the wedding. Things are not cool right now. My head is messed up, I get criticism from everyone and no idea about what to do. My sister told me to see a therapist to process my thoughts and feelings. That is what I'll do next. Some mutuals suggested me that I should reconsider things and stop being so whiny about such a small thing. I do not think it's such a small thing especially when they all tried to hide it from me.
AITAH here?
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Comments
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tasty-horse-paste
This is strangely similar to something that happened recently on 90 day fiancé.
Edit: A lot of people saying disagreements about strippers etc. is common, which sure, but it was the detail about playing MMO games by the pool at the bachelor party that got my attention. But I'm not saying OP's story is fake; it just reminded me of the 90 day thing.
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former_farmer
Because this happens a lot. Some people think that cheating in the bachelorette party is correct. It's so dumb.
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boredathome1962
NTA. "It was crazy with all the strippers" is hugely different from "it was really chill and good". This isn't just lying, this is a total reversal of the truth. Even her "it was just solo dances" is not the same as "crazy". So they are lying, all of them, except the first one.

OOP: Everyone is telling different things. One person says it was crazy, my ex says it was just solo dance, another person says it was different. I do not know whom to believe to be honest and that's one of the reasons I lost trust here. Apparently, the stripper was naked and that even alone is a dealbreaker for me. There is no way for me to know what happened that night and why she did not even bother with calling me or telling me about it.

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**Judgement - NTA*\*
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Update - 1 days later
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TL;DR: Bitter truth was revealed bit by bit. Ex-fiancée had sexual interaction with a stripper. It's therapy time.
I read most of the comments in the original post and thank you for the advice. My problem was that not her being blindsided by her friends but lying. Every bridesmaid told different things and none of them gave details about what happened. I believe you can understand it just shatters the trust and makes you think there is something going on.
I thought there was something wrong with me after reading the comments. There were a lot of YTAs and I thought I should apologize. One of the bridesmaid reached out to me last evening. I suspect she saw the post somewhere and recognized it. I knew my fiancée was having problems with her friends since last week but I did not know the extent.
Apparently, my ex-fiancée and her close friends blamed the girl that I encountered at mall about everything. This divided the group and led into a verbal fight. I will skip the personal details here but in the end she told me my ex-fiancée and other bridesmaids got sexual with the strippers. My fiancée was the only one who had boyfriend/fiancée/spouse(at least monogamously) there to my knowledge. Also, I was told by her that my ex-fiancée was not blindsided with stripper invites. She was happy to see the strippers and was relieved she had an excuse. I do not have proof for all of these but I got a short video of girls making out with strippers. One of the girls is my ex-fiancée and that's enough.
She has been trying to reach out to me since we broke up. I confronted her again. At first, she denied it again then it became we just touched, then okay we kissed too, okay I gave him a handjob, finally I was coerced into doing these by others as I pressed on. I just blocked her after the last part. I did not see any need to learn further. I was hurt already but learning that I got cheated on hurt more. I am not sure if it's the full truth even now. I will never know but all I can say is it hurts. I will go to a therapist to not carry my luggage to my next relationship. I lost 15K from the wedding related things and need to focus on filling the hole for a while.
Some misogynists made weird comments about women and I'll just ignore them. Some of the people told me I am an insecure, unfunny nerd for playing WoW on my bachelor party. Isn't the whole point of bachelor parties having "one last fun". It was raiding non-stop with the boys for me, not having one last sexual interaction with a stranger or having a stranger's butt on my face or penis. I will not miss on out these during marriage anyways(omitting the stranger part).
That's it. It's therapy time tomorrow and thank you for the help.
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Comments
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scotswaehey
I will never understand why people like your Ex Fiancée throw it all away for one night
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BigBlackBlasphemer
Not just that, the whole group had banded together in solidarity to lie.
If it wasn't for one person, they would've gotten away with it, while gaslighting OP the whole time
I hope all those votes calling OP, an AH rightly feel like DA's.
15k and a cancelled wedding is still LOADS better than divorce after the fact. You're doing the absolute right thing.
Also, I AM petty enough to blast her publicly with receipts if she wants to play the victim and make me look like the bad guy.
And the first person I'll send the video of her cheating to is her Dad. See how she likes those apples
PSA: Don't be the simp guy who didn't want to send his "wife" to jail after everyone caught her trying to poison him with bleach in the coffee machine.
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SuccessfulSeaweed385
I had a lan party at my bachelor party and it was awesome. Fuck the haters and screw your ex. NTA.
FarquaadStoleMyWig
My brothers bachelor party was pizza, flip cup, and halo reach on system linked Xbox’s. Fucken best night ever
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I am not the OOP. Please do not harass the OOP.
Please remember the No Brigading Rule and to be civil in the comments

I'm a 27 year old guy and started taking sertraline a day after my 27th birthday, about 4 months ago and honest to God I should have started taking this shit way earlier.
I have OCD / General Anxiety Disorder with some autism sprinkled in (Asperger's) which has made my life quite fucking difficult, especially in aspects like getting a job. I've suffered in other aspects so long that I didn't even care about those aspects.
After losing the one job where they needed a silent awkward Analytical autist last november (they loved me but had to close down my department because of a bad financial year) I started getting rather depressed, it took me a lot of energy and help from a friend who happened to be a recruiter at the time to even get into that job and I felt like I was fucked, that I was gonna be a no job loser living with his mom forever, never having money for vacations with friends again and plenty of other dark thoughts that I don't intend on sharing here.
So I started going to job interview after job interview, constantly getting rejected and each rejection made me feel worse.
One of my friends noticed that I wasn't chatting with her as often as I used to and when she called me I finally broke down, I was at the ends of my wits, she encouraged me to finally seek help again.
I've tried therapy in the form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy before, which I found to be worthless and I was offered Mindfulness as an alternative which I think of as a scam. (I'm certain mindfulness in the traditional sense is fine, but the westernized version is optimalized for capitalism)
So I asked my therapist to put me on medication for the first time in my life, I never wanted to have meds because I didn't want to be dependent on something and always thought it would mess with my brain, that I needed to fix my mental health issues through other means like exercise and meditation, which I always failed to keep doing consistently.
So here I am, 4 months on Zoloft:
My anxiety and OCD are still there, they probably won't ever leave but I am way more in control of them. Where they used to make me ponder anxiously for hours if not days, it now feels like Zoloft has created some insulation between my anxieties and myself, it's easier to just observe those anxieties, set them aside and go on with my day.
Now this is not to say that Zoloft is a miracle drug that makes life better automatically without any effort on your part but here's what I've been doing in the past 4 months thanks to being on Zoloft

• I signed the lease for my new apartment a week ago,
• I've started going to theatre classes, something I've always wanted to do but never could before because of my anxiety, it's super enjoyable and was a great way to test whether this shit was working.
• I started taking more care of my health, working out once a week, eating healthier.
• I genuinely feel like I am living a rather normal life instead of feeling like im surviving on a day by day basis.

I'm not entirely where I want to be, for example I still have a lack of motivation often (executive dysfunction) and I still get clammy/sweaty/vibrating in certain social situations like during theatre classes and job interviews but I feel a whole lot less worried about it all.
Next week I'm gonna talk with my therapist to up my dose from 100mg to 150mg and hoping that will help me fix my last issues, even if it does not I'm already a whole lot happier than I used to be.
So far I haven't shat myself knock on wood to not jinx myself and I haven't noticed any weird side effects other than my thyroids acting up on the very first day and never again after.
I can also drink with my friends just fine, which I started again after about 2 months carefully with one beer and very slowly building up my alcohol intake to the point where I can easily have a few beers and a few strong drinks at a party, nothing too excessive.
So yeah, I'm happy I started taking sertraline, also known as Zoloft, I initially started with the idea of taking it as an experiment to see what it does and go off it as soon as I could again but now I don't think I wanna do that anymore, not if I can live like this.
I still wish I started way younger, would have saved me a lot of pain and student debt, but I'll figure out something eventually, now that I'm on Zoloft I'm certain I will some day.

This is a throwaway. I know the title probably sounds bad but here's some backstory.
I (19M) am in a queer polyamorous relationship with my boyfriend (22M) and girlfriend (20F), who are both also polyam. I've been with my BF for almost 3 years now, and my GF for 3 months. Let's call my GF "Leah". My BF and GF aren't involved with each other and both have their own respective partners. Overall, we are in a healthy polyamorous relationship and everyone has consented / are more than okay with our current arrangement.
Here's the problem. Leah has a GF (19F) of 3 years (let's call her Sue), and for the duration of knowing Leah in general (6 months), she's cried to me and complained about how emotionally abusive Sue is to her. Sue guilt trips, lies and emotionally manipulates Leah constantly. Making her feel bad about having other partners when Sue was the one who suggested having an open relationship. Almost every week, there's something new going on with Sue and I have to be there to pick up the pieces. I'll never be tired of comforting my Leah, but I despise Sue for making her go through this so often and so much.
Yes, of course I've asked her to break it up with Sue, but they have some sort of trauma bond apparently, making leaving very difficult. If you were in an abusive relationship (I personally have), you'd understand. I understand, though it doesn't mean I like the idea.
A thing to note is that Leah has mentioned her clear favoritism towards me. It's definitely not bragworthy, to tell your partner you love them over their other partner but in the case of one being abusive I suppose it can be excused. Another thing to note is the fact that Leah has mentioned Sue more often than not tends to start fights with Leah's friends out of jealousy and being insecure.
I've never taken an interest in being Sue's friend. I've made my disdain clear to Leah. But, I was wondering if I should try to befriend Sue - I already am aware that Sue dislikes me, but will definitely put up appearances if I approached her (has happened in the few times I've spoken to her). Seeing how she generally behaves, as well as everything Leah has told me.. there's no doubt that Sue will cause trouble with me at some point. I've seen people like her before, and I just know that we will have clashes. We've already had a minor disagreement over text before. It'll only be a matter of time before it escalates into something that'll give me an excuse to cut her off.
On the other hand, Leah hates conflicts. It's one of the main reasons she refuses to leave Sue. She's made it clear that she doesn't want me standing up for her even when it's something as bad as gaslighting and our right emotional torture. I don't want to put her through something that will trigger her but she's with an abusive person! How am I, as her boyfriend supposed to just ignore the fact that she's being constantly emotionally abused by this bitch with an audacity and a victim complex?
So instead of stirring conflict, I'll just befriend Sue, knowing that Sue will definitely start something eventually. Leah will be made to see that Sue hurting someone she loves instead of just her, and I really hope that would help her let go of this person (and the fact that Leah prefers me over Sue might help). It's something that's helped me before (my BF didn't do it on purpose like I am, but my ex partner used to be like Sue and ended up hurting him so I left the ex).
WIBTAH if I did this? Is it weird or manipulative if I did? If it is, is there anything I could do to potentially get Sue away from Leah? Please remember that I haven't actually done anything yet, I'm just asking for advice on this situation. Excuse my English too, I'm not a native speaker.

I(21F) came home after finals just to hang with my family. I heard prior to my coming home that my mom and dad had talked to my little sister(17F) about losing weight this summer, as she is quite overweight, and basically they're all dieting together. She's not happy about it.
All I did was ask my sister if she was excited about summer, warm weather, hanging out with friends, etc. My sister just rolls her eyes and says she doesn't look forward to being controlled and dictated. I told her that's not what mom & dad are doing. She said it was. I told her that just because mom & dad aren't going to let her stuff her face all summer doesn't mean she's being restricted. She took issue with me saying ' stuff your face'.
When she tried arguing some more, I told her to just be quiet, stop whining, and reminded her they did buy her a Land Rover for her 16th birthday. She asked what that had to do with anything. I told her she just needs to remember that our parents are pretty great and that she needs to hear them out. She continued to whine about the supposed cruelty of their diet idea. I told her it was time to stop thing and just accept that she's not going to be allowed to loaf around all summer packing on the pounds.
AITAH?

I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…

I dated a beautiful and kind-hearted girl with BPD for about 8 months. It was the most intense romance Ive ever felt in my life. She is my first love, and the first girl to ever break my heart.
She cut it off out of nowhere. Sure, we had our splits, but before she left we were building good habits to have a better relationship. from the night of the breakup to the last time we spoke and she said she was done with me and we could never be friends again, I had a feeling that something was off. She wasn't the girl that I fell in love with, she was cold and mean to me. she would call me randomly and then not follow through (sometimes at 2am) She didn't reach out on my birthday, and pretended to have forgotten when it was. She was pretty awful to me by the end and destroyed my self-confidence and self-esteem.
About almost 3 months after the breakup, I find out through a friend of mine that hung out with her that she feels awful and is really struggling. He said she seemed hysterical and that her biggest pain right now is losing me as a best friend. She works 2 jobs, left therapy, and is doing Coke now.
I cant just sit around and let it happen. I cant just leave her to ruin her life. I know I am one of the only people that could possibly get through to her. I cant go to her family (awful relationship) and I have no idea who she has been hanging out with that could possibly give her that.
I know i am playing a risky game right now because doing this will hurt me so much more but I feel like i have a responsibility to help someone who is clearly crying for help.
or should I just be selfish for the first time in my life and leave them? idk if I could live with that guilt.