Tease and denial
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2022.10.21 01:51 TastefulDenial Nudity-Free Captions
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2011.05.21 04:11 ContentWithOurDecay HistoricalWhatIf
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2024.05.17 23:12 CoffeeAddict66 I think I've met my twin flame
This month actually marks a year without my supposed twin flame but alas A year ago when I was still in high school I met this dude and all hell broke loose, I started to crush on him almost IMEDIATELY and couldn't get myself to stop but was in denial, once I admitted to myself that I do like him, angel numbers started to flood my eyes, and surprise surprise he also started to notice me, his friends would tease him about me and my friends would tease me about him, little shy glances at each other, then I started to see him not only in school but also at the gym that me and my friend started to go to, that's when I actually noticed how much he steals glances at me and how his friends, if they're in the same gym location as me, text him to come over to the part where I am at, mind you I didn't know his name, last name, birthday, birth year but it felt like the Universe herself handed me all of that info through a series of coincidences that were almost scary, even my friends told me that from the vibe he is just like me, like two drops of water, finally at the end of my graduation year I built up the courage to ask his friend for his contact info, I got it, followed him but he didn't follow me back or even texted me, started to act all distant but would still look at me, then a few days before my graduation party we shared probably the most intimate "goodbye" through eyes, I guess he convinced his friend to get on one of the machines that they never used just so that he could steal glances at me, I was running on a treadmill, stopped (because I had to burp and didn't want to get an acid reflux) and something in me told me to look to my right, and there he was starring or maybe really gazing at me (arms resting on the machine, head on them staring at me almost like trying to communicate with me through his gaze), after that and a painfull separation (had a breakdown about not being able to text him but surprise! actually could but was too drunk to notice:)), in July I get a video from my friend and it's him but with another girl, suprisingly I felt calm and I mean VERY calm something at the back of my head was saying to me 'don't worry he'll come back' and I was well partially right, because in August I see him again and he sees me and we both recognize each other immediately, and funny thing is that he held eye contact with me for so lomg (mouth agape lol) that I thought he was about to hit something while on his bike (he was making a turn and there was a road sign and a stone) and then he made sure to turn around to purposelly drive past me again, with this look like 'yeah look at me', there was also an incident where I was visiting my brother in school and ran into him again in the store while in a line, and his friends teased him about me lol, Then fast forward a few months and we come to my old school to visit my teachers and guess who is sitting in my teachers classroom and then gigling about me coming into said classroom with my friends, his friend also was starring me down like he knew something and wanted to tell me. Fast forward to this winter and I feel like crap because of finals and uni, lost weight stopped taking care of myself etc, well this was scary but my friend saw him at the same gym and told me that he ALSO lost a shit ton of weight and was looking very unkept, mind you by then im seeing and hearing his name everywhere I go, and the angel numbers haven't stopped, cut to spring and I'm seeing 1111 A LOT with other angel numbers like 1313, 444, 1212, 1919. then I had the most VIVID dreams about him I think only like 3. first one - he was smilling at me and his face was very clear, second - we tried to speak to each other but he was shy and third - he was oppening the door for me to his apartment and I saw 1111 in that dream too, mind you I never had such vivid dreams of other people, and these were as clear as that one dream that helped find my lab coat that I lost for about a week and just like he saw my friends I started to see his friends and now I am here and missing him a lot without even really knowing why but I do have a feeling that we will reunite after summer when and where I don't yet know but it feels like next year around the same time I will get approached by him. one thing that did get on my nerves was that all the special eye glances only happened when there were basically 'no witnesses' so I always had to replay these moments to my friends and always sounded like the crazy one
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2024.05.16 01:40 TraumaDrama0 Currently looking for long term healthy dynamics
| Super soft goth dom looking for subs who enjoy praise, teasing, and denial. Not big into humiliation but enjoy giving some insults when needed đ I have the right time for the right simps đ submitted by TraumaDrama0 to Paypigssearching [link] [comments] |
2024.05.15 16:18 QuitFindomRelapse Quit Findom femdom and gooning
Hi all,
For the longest time I have been into femdom porn which over the years has morphed into tease and denial, orgssm denial, ultimately findom and since 2020 or so gooning.
Quitting gooning seems hard enough but for me it's intermixed with deep findom fantasies. Like many others here I have fetishised going worse than getting deeper and for me spending more.
You can probably see why this is so destructive as I have sexualised not only gooning and porn addiction but also paying. I'm finding it impossible to stop, craving more and more, I believe it's the feeling that comes from being denied for days, completely horny and becoming even more reckless as I goon to what I know is essentially poison to me. Eventually becoming so mindless that I my submissive urge to pay wins. I have spent thousands buying clips related to this, paying and developing far more submissive and destructive fetishes than I ever had before. The cycle keeps repeating and the more I try to resist the better it seems to feel when I finally give in.
I'm really struggling with what to do. Anyone else have similar or any advice? Thanks
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2024.05.15 13:26 Eli_Freeman_Author No, Ezra and Sabine would not be a "ship"
To clarify, I now know that there are different definitions of the word âshipâ, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of âa relationship thatâs rushed and/or forced with no real development.â I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but canât read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabineâs relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their âfriendshipâ that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: âno, theyâre not a couple, theyâre just friends.â
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didnât really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line âI love you like a sisterâ was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were âjust friendsâ I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadnât seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadnât gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didnât he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, letâs focus on shipping.
In case you think Iâm desperate to have them as a couple, no Iâm not. Iâm about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Zâers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Zâers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), Iâm generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though Iâm slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this âwhirlwind romanceâ are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakinâs portrayal, particularly in regards to the âromanticâ scenes, with many describing them as âcreepyâ. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence âshippingâ.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for âloveâ is something relatively new. To be fair, Iâve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for âloveâ without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for âloveâ, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, youâll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I canât say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards âloveâ or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. Itâs not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a âcasual hookupâ as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider âunhealthyâ. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920âs (the âRoaring Twentiesâ), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their âoppressionâ, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more âliberatedâ and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960âs, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only ânormalâ but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to âbanâ certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by todayâs standards.
It continued through the 70âs, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called âdark romanceâ and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this âdark romanceâ can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesnât work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a âNew Victorian Ageâ (complete with âdark romanceâ, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new âbrothelsâ, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. Iâve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the âyoung adultâ category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time Iâve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrenceâs latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generationâs frustration as well as the younger generationâs frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youthâs lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasnât gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone âundergroundâ, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often arenât portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers havenât quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the âNew Victorian Ageâ may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just canât seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here Iâll add that Iâm perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both âgoodâ and âbadâ in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that theyâre often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they arenât it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazakiâs films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each otherâs lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true âlove conquers allâ narrative, where the charactersâ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live âhappily ever afterâ. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameronâs Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazakiâs films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka donât help each other simply because they are âin loveâ, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazakiâs handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently âbadâ and in service to âevilâ, while everything thatâs ânaturalâ is shown to be inherently âgoodâ. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple âvillainâ, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
Iâll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
âHow is any of this related to Star Wars?â you might ask. It is quite related, and you donât even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w But to summarize if youâve seen any of Miyazakiâs films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoniâs work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoniâs work look like they were taken directly from Miyazkiâs films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been âlike a sonâ to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his âpadawanâ, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, âWhat does all this mean for Star Wars?â It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazakiâs lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsokaâs feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoniâs stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasnât certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I donât believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (câmon, what teenage boy isnât?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode âBlood Sistersâ, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each otherâs sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as Iâve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if theyâve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didnât seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawnâs return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsokaâs search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about âshippingâ and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently âshippedâ them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to âmodern audiencesâ? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here Iâll add that when I say âmodern audiencesâ I donât mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core donât really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately donât quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be âfixedâ at this point, but I canât help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but Iâm not sure how. And to be completely honest I donât feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabineâs Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isnât. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.
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2024.05.15 13:14 Eli_Freeman_Author No, Ezra and Sabine would not be a "ship"
This is my attempt at a re-submission due to some misunderstandings on the first attempt. I now know that there are different definitions of the word âshipâ, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of âa relationship thatâs rushed and/or forced with no real development.â I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but canât read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabineâs relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their âfriendshipâ that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: âno, theyâre not a couple, theyâre just friends.â
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didnât really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line âI love you like a sisterâ was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were âjust friendsâ I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadnât seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadnât gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didnât he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, letâs focus on shipping.
In case you think Iâm desperate to have them as a couple, no Iâm not. Iâm about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Zâers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Zâers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), Iâm generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though Iâm slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this âwhirlwind romanceâ are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakinâs portrayal, particularly in regards to the âromanticâ scenes, with many describing them as âcreepyâ. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence âshippingâ.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for âloveâ is something relatively new. To be fair, Iâve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for âloveâ without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for âloveâ, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, youâll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I canât say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards âloveâ or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. Itâs not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a âcasual hookupâ as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider âunhealthyâ. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920âs (the âRoaring Twentiesâ), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their âoppressionâ, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more âliberatedâ and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960âs, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only ânormalâ but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to âbanâ certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by todayâs standards.
It continued through the 70âs, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called âdark romanceâ and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this âdark romanceâ can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesnât work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a âNew Victorian Ageâ (complete with âdark romanceâ, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new âbrothelsâ, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. Iâve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the âyoung adultâ category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time Iâve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrenceâs latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generationâs frustration as well as the younger generationâs frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youthâs lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasnât gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone âundergroundâ, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often arenât portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers havenât quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the âNew Victorian Ageâ may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just canât seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here Iâll add that Iâm perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both âgoodâ and âbadâ in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that theyâre often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they arenât it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazakiâs films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each otherâs lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true âlove conquers allâ narrative, where the charactersâ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live âhappily ever afterâ. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameronâs Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazakiâs films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka donât help each other simply because they are âin loveâ, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazakiâs handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently âbadâ and in service to âevilâ, while everything thatâs ânaturalâ is shown to be inherently âgoodâ. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple âvillainâ, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
Iâll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
âHow is any of this related to Star Wars?â you might ask. It is quite related, and you donât even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w But to summarize if youâve seen any of Miyazakiâs films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoniâs work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoniâs work look like they were taken directly from Miyazkiâs films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been âlike a sonâ to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his âpadawanâ, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, âWhat does all this mean for Star Wars?â It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazakiâs lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsokaâs feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoniâs stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasnât certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I donât believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (câmon, what teenage boy isnât?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode âBlood Sistersâ, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each otherâs sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as Iâve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if theyâve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didnât seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawnâs return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsokaâs search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about âshippingâ and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently âshippedâ them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to âmodern audiencesâ? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here Iâll add that when I say âmodern audiencesâ I donât mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core donât really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately donât quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be âfixedâ at this point, but I canât help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but Iâm not sure how. And to be completely honest I donât feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabineâs Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isnât. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.
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2024.05.15 13:11 Eli_Freeman_Author No, Ezra and Sabine would not be a "ship"
This is my attempt at a re-submission due to some misunderstandings on the first attempt. I now know that there are different definitions of the word âshipâ, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of âa relationship thatâs rushed and/or forced with no real development.â I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but canât read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabineâs relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their âfriendshipâ that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: âno, theyâre not a couple, theyâre just friends.â
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didnât really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line âI love you like a sisterâ was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were âjust friendsâ I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadnât seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadnât gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didnât he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, letâs focus on shipping.
In case you think Iâm desperate to have them as a couple, no Iâm not. Iâm about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Zâers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Zâers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), Iâm generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though Iâm slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this âwhirlwind romanceâ are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakinâs portrayal, particularly in regards to the âromanticâ scenes, with many describing them as âcreepyâ. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence âshippingâ.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for âloveâ is something relatively new. To be fair, Iâve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for âloveâ without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for âloveâ, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, youâll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I canât say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards âloveâ or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. Itâs not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a âcasual hookupâ as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider âunhealthyâ. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920âs (the âRoaring Twentiesâ), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their âoppressionâ, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more âliberatedâ and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960âs, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only ânormalâ but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to âbanâ certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by todayâs standards.
It continued through the 70âs, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called âdark romanceâ and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this âdark romanceâ can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesnât work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a âNew Victorian Ageâ (complete with âdark romanceâ, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new âbrothelsâ, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. Iâve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the âyoung adultâ category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time Iâve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrenceâs latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generationâs frustration as well as the younger generationâs frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youthâs lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasnât gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone âundergroundâ, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often arenât portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers havenât quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the âNew Victorian Ageâ may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just canât seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here Iâll add that Iâm perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both âgoodâ and âbadâ in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that theyâre often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they arenât it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazakiâs films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each otherâs lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true âlove conquers allâ narrative, where the charactersâ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live âhappily ever afterâ. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameronâs Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazakiâs films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka donât help each other simply because they are âin loveâ, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazakiâs handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently âbadâ and in service to âevilâ, while everything thatâs ânaturalâ is shown to be inherently âgoodâ. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple âvillainâ, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
Iâll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
âHow is any of this related to Star Wars?â you might ask. It is quite related, and you donât even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w But to summarize if youâve seen any of Miyazakiâs films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoniâs work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoniâs work look like they were taken directly from Miyazkiâs films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been âlike a sonâ to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his âpadawanâ, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, âWhat does all this mean for Star Wars?â It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazakiâs lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsokaâs feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoniâs stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasnât certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I donât believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (câmon, what teenage boy isnât?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode âBlood Sistersâ, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each otherâs sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as Iâve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if theyâve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didnât seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawnâs return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsokaâs search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about âshippingâ and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently âshippedâ them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to âmodern audiencesâ? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here Iâll add that when I say âmodern audiencesâ I donât mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core donât really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately donât quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be âfixedâ at this point, but I canât help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but Iâm not sure how. And to be completely honest I donât feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabineâs Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isnât. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.
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2024.05.15 13:08 Eli_Freeman_Author No, Ezra and Sabine would not be a "ship"
This is my attempt at a re-submission due to some misunderstandings on the first attempt. I now know that there are different definitions of the word âshipâ, but for the purposes of this article and to keep things simple I will use the definition of âa relationship thatâs rushed and/or forced with no real development.â I hope you can understand as I do not know of any other single word to describe that concept. If you do, perhaps you can tell me. Also, fair warning, this is long form content (some 10 pages), if you like it but canât read it all at once you can save it and come back to it over a period of time, or you can stop reading whenever you get tired of it and still discuss those parts of it with me that you have read. But keep it civil if you want a civil response.
With that, to qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. Ezra and Sabineâs relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their âfriendshipâ that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: âno, theyâre not a couple, theyâre just friends.â
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didnât really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line âI love you like a sisterâ was never in Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were âjust friendsâ I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadnât seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadnât gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didnât he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, letâs focus on shipping.
In case you think Iâm desperate to have them as a couple, no Iâm not. Iâm about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Zâers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Zâers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), Iâm generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though Iâm slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this âwhirlwind romanceâ are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakinâs portrayal, particularly in regards to the âromanticâ scenes, with many describing them as âcreepyâ. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence âshippingâ.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for âloveâ is something relatively new. To be fair, Iâve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for âloveâ without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for âloveâ, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, youâll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned Romeo and Juliet, though I canât say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards âloveâ or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. Itâs not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a âcasual hookupâ as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider âunhealthyâ. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920âs (the âRoaring Twentiesâ), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their âoppressionâ, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more âliberatedâ and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960âs, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only ânormalâ but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to âbanâ certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by todayâs standards.
It continued through the 70âs, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called âdark romanceâ and the publication of books like Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this âdark romanceâ can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesnât work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a âNew Victorian Ageâ (complete with âdark romanceâ, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new âbrothelsâ, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. Iâve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the âyoung adultâ category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time Iâve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers, criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrenceâs latest film No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generationâs frustration as well as the younger generationâs frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youthâs lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasnât gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone âundergroundâ, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often arenât portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers havenât quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the âNew Victorian Ageâ may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just canât seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here Iâll add that Iâm perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both âgoodâ and âbadâ in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that theyâre often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they arenât it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazakiâs films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each otherâs lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true âlove conquers allâ narrative, where the charactersâ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live âhappily ever afterâ. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameronâs Avatar, both of which have been compared to Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazakiâs films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka donât help each other simply because they are âin loveâ, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazakiâs handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like Fern Gully and Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently âbadâ and in service to âevilâ, while everything thatâs ânaturalâ is shown to be inherently âgoodâ. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple âvillainâ, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
Iâll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
âHow is any of this related to Star Wars?â you might ask. It is quite related, and you donât even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w But to summarize if youâve seen any of Miyazakiâs films, especially Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoniâs work will be all too obvious, especially in Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoniâs work look like they were taken directly from Miyazkiâs films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been âlike a sonâ to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his âpadawanâ, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, âWhat does all this mean for Star Wars?â It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazakiâs lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsokaâs feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoniâs stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasnât certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I donât believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (câmon, what teenage boy isnât?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode âBlood Sistersâ, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each otherâs sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in Rebels, as Iâve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if theyâve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didnât seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawnâs return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsokaâs search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about âshippingâ and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently âshippedâ them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to âmodern audiencesâ? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here Iâll add that when I say âmodern audiencesâ I donât mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core donât really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately donât quite get it, and the Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be âfixedâ at this point, but I canât help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but Iâm not sure how. And to be completely honest I donât feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabineâs Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isnât. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.
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2024.05.15 11:12 legacyofemperor Need tips
So itâs like this, I have a group of friends all playing games (we are nerds that goes out). I will speak about 3 people: -first friend (M-bully) -second friend (M-victim) -third friend (F-bully) Under twenty mean 17-18yo.
At first I created the group fine and all, with 3 members included M-bully, we were very mature, being in our twenties, except M-bully who just begins musculation, he tend to flex by repeatedly telling us at every topic, but we considered it was great to promote good health, and he was under twenty so isnât that normal to be a little childish ? M-bully was tbh a bit shy, but he worked on it, and we could feel that he become more and more outgoing so it was a great thing.
Then time passed we recruited more friends, come the M-victim, he meet M-bully and became friend, also under twenty, he was extremely nice like all our members, and astonishingly he loved speaking with other, making lots of friend, and recruiting new game members, he is however not very socially skilled (he think so).
Then the F-bully come, she is shy, she just get recruited by M-victim, they become friend and speak about game and nerd thing. She is also under twenty so they can speak about a lot.
Here everything is great and all. Except, until the meeting between M-bully and F-bully. Their personalityâs exploded⌠itâs hard to describe, but themselves named themselves degenerate, welp we are a group or nerd so it was totally common but yeah⌠they do tend to break the bottom line. Nvm, we are all like gossip, "are they a couple" some say "nah" welp "they just got the bff chemistry" "they are not a couple" and tbh yeah I can understand that 2D make our criteria of the other significant half way harder, like way way harder, but itâs another subject.
Then the bullying begins, at first everyone was fine, (now itâs only online, irl they wonât do it) the M-bully said the M-victim was gay, (not because of homophobia or anything else) at first we were like he is teasing right? Then F-bully started to follow and worsened the whole thing, calling M-victim Femboy, (it wasnât really nice), and it was very regular, (at least 1 time per day) and we were already speaking about this on both the M/F-bully. I spoke about the fact that it make M-victim uncomfortable. Everyone say M-victim is a sensible person so donât do it. Then there is an problem appearing, one of the F-bully friend (she is also nice) did an error, she said that M-victim was very very sensitive and M-bully when speaking the TRUE TO CORRECT MISTAKE?! shouldnât be so rough.
So big problem, people misunderstood, think M-bully wasnât bullying but is correcting mistakes be being rough?!?? I donât understand what and why this happened, welp so I did speak with M-bully about stop "teasing" so much M-victim coz he take it seriously. M-bully reaction was denial, he said that: "itâs just teasing", "other do the same", "why are you all speaking as if I did nazi thingâ, "I am only criticizing roughly coz itâs my personality I canât change it", "I am always honest" , except all the outrageous thing he did say, he also includes a weird comment "criticizing to make people change" why did he put an entire different argument ? I canât understand.
Well I was hoping that it get better afterwards, (they did stop) and irl they are like different person, the trio are very good friend speaking until 6ATM (mornings) we only speak about game, manga, movies and hobby.
But sometimes passed and they just begins again, now the main bully is mainly F-bully, we put so much attention on M-bully that the F-bully in reality did worse⌠I wonât say what she did but she do put a lot of effort to make 3min meme, only to say that M-victim is a femboy whore and gay(she is a fine lover of BL so yeah) welp it began again.
I directly called this cyber bully, it did stop them for 3 days, but it seem that itâs becoming less useful
I tried to make my group of friends more gray that black and white what is your pov in all that?
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2024.05.15 08:23 Original-Air-5215 It took me years to love again
Too long that my friends are teasing me saying that I havenât moved on yet; but itâs not really that, itâs bcs I chose not to, I chose my solitude, i found peace in myself, and I view that love isnât something that you push to happen, hindi siya minamadali and you canât just feel or have it with any person. No matter how many flings I had, no matter the number of men that tried hitting me up, if you donât feel it, then itâs not it. kaya (no offense) im nagtataka sa mga ppl who just went from break up then enter love again, like how do you do that? or is love even present when you do that? is it genuine? â tho I canât deny, that some part of me were afraid of risking it again, I even lose my paniniwala of what love really is. there where many what ifs â what if it happens again, will I be able to endure it? â I lost trust with people, I questioned their intentions and didnât expect anything with anyone, even questioned my capability of loving, it was too long that I forgot how it feels and how Iâm supposed to give it. And when I finally found love again, it was with the most unexpected person, whom I knew nothing about. We have lots of differences and experiences; it was unexpected and peculiar of me to enter it in such a short time. Who wouldâve known that a girl who took long enough to finally open up would risk it, with a person, she barely knew, in less than a month? â It was really unusual of me being in that situation, from experiencing the meet up thingy. I even remember how anxious I am during that day; asking my self âgawa nalang ba ako ulit ng dahilan?â (to delay the meetup again until hindi na mangyari) I remember asking my friend pa, âcha, anong gagawin ko?â âsamahan moâkoâ then she replied âhindi kana bataâ and yeah right, hindi na ako bata so why am I so anxious na para akong minor na makikipag meet up TT. why does this all feels unfamiliar and new to me? but everything during that day, I still remember, from what I feel, kung gaano ako ka-awkward, yung lagay ng panahon, everything. I still remember panga kung paano yung kabog ng puso ko when we held each otherâs hands, at kung gaano ako ka-awkward habang iniikot ko siya sa mendiola na ako mismo, hindi kabisado. â after that meetup, I didnât know how to feel, my friend ask me how was it and I didnât know what to tell her. Do I like the guy? How was he? Due to many years of being isolated from the experience of loving, it was impossible for me to express my feelings. I was not comfortable of doing things in public, it was all too much for me to the point that I said na I wonât do it again. I was thinking of the ways to ghost him, but I just canât, he was too pure and genuine and some part of me is telling me to risk it with him. He was really honest about his feelings which I liked about him. Makwento siya and he doesnât let the conversation dies. Moving forward, we became a couple. But still, I was doubtful, âtama ba âto?â âisnât it too sudden?â âare the feelings even pure?â There were many questions in my head that it led to our first break up. My reason was that Iâm still unsure about what I feel. Then I realized na all those time questioning my feelings, I was just afraid, I was just in denial. And he helped me realize all those, he was patient and bore with me until I can finally express myself fully. It all became clear to me, and I can finally tell what I was feeling. Months go by with challenges, problems, and uncertainty. There were many times it almost ended for good, but we've persevered until today. After all, love isn't just about happy days. It mightâve been hard for me to express myself, but when I do, I mean it. I took the risk with him, and I'll continue to do so. No matter the challenges, if I will be given the chance to choose again, I would still choose him. I'll keep my word and hold on. Despite these cold days, there were times when we were genuinely happy and inseparable. Promises were made... and I think that we should keep that. Iâll hold onto that. I hope youâll remember that despite these cold times, we were once a warmth to each other. Maybe we are forgetting the real value of love, why we really love. I firmly believe that itâs not something you should easily give up just because youâre tired. Or is it just me, who will be willing to fight for it until the very last moment? It may have taken me a long time to love again, but when I do, I do it deeply. So when youâre reading this, know that I love you; and I hope that youâll keep your word too.
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2024.05.14 19:32 Sylesth Combat Artificer - 67
My car's transmission is on the fritz, so it's in the shop and I'm working from home for at least today. Thank goodness I can even work from home, or things would be a lot more complicated. Anyways, that's just a bit of a vent. I've also decided that I might do little lore-esque prechapter bits for some extra flavor. Hope you guys enjoy them! I find them to be fun little thought experiments on how people might perceive the world I've created from within vs from my own perspective. Enjoy some crafting and some romance!
First Previous Next
We know that the spots that are caused by looking at a source of light are, in fact, damage of some sort to the eye. This is confirmed by the spots rapidly disappearing should someone be healed whilst experiencing them. But why? Is there a divinity within light, beyond what our mortal eyes can withstand? Is there some sort of invisible emanation that comes alongside the light that damages us in some way? The discovery of light damaging the eye has opened more questions for me than it has closed.
-Musings on the Relations of Light and Fire, by Jarwic Leftun
\***
Xander carefully opened the door, finding Gabrelle already asleep, and sat down on a chair. Maybe he could get that adaptive camouflage to work right on bright colors. Surely he had some colorful things in his inventory.
He did in fact have a few colorful things in his inventory, and he whiled the rest of the night away making small adjustments to the runic array that was embroidered into the cloth. He was satisfied before dawn, the cloth now performing as well with light colors as it had with darker colors. Now he just needed to make a cloak out of it. He briefly considered coating his armor with the array, but discarded it. There might be times where heâd want to be seen. Besides, a hooded cloak would better break up the outline of his figure, the ripples of fabric, especially if he were to crouch or lay prone, obscuring his outline even more. In little time at all, he had a long, deep hooded cloak of the color shifting, runed cloth in his hands. He stashed it in his inventory for now, as he had no particular need to sneak up on something right now. The rest of the time before dawn he spent silently sitting in the chair heâd chosen, trying to keep his thoughts to a minimum, just daydreaming. Night dreaming? He couldnât sleep anymore, but that didnât mean he couldnât try to let his mind wander.
As the dawn came and the sun began to shine through the window of the room, Gabrelle slowly awoke, once more finding Xander sitting in a chair rather than in bed.
âMmf,â She grunted as she stretched. âMorning, Xander. You got back late.â
âMorning, yourself,â Xander said, turning his head to look at Gabrelle. âYeah... Yeah, I guess I did.â
âWhat were you doing, anyway?â She asked, curious. âYou didnât mention that youâd be out late, just that you were going to go to see Valteria at her shop.â
âI uh... went on a date.â
âI knew it! âComparing notesâ was a date!â Gabrelle exclaimed triumphantly.
âIt was not!â Xander complained. âBut we went to a tavern in the evening and it sort of... turned into a date on the way there.â
âAwhh, thatâs so cute,â Gabrelle said. âDid it go well? Is she nice? Did you kiss?â
âI think it went well. We talked a lot about different projects and ideas we had. I also got to meet another [Godsmarked] - he owns the tavern we went to. I think sheâs nice. Maybe a little shy. I think sheâs gotten used to being treated differently by people. I donât think she really believed that I wanted to go on a date with her, at first. ...And yes. We kissed.â
âOoooh, look at you! Youâre growing up so fast!â Gabrelle teased.
âOh hush. Iâm older than you!â Xander huffed, then returned to seriousness. âBut ah, if Iâm going to be dating someone... we need to have a conversation, Gabrelle.â
âWe need to stop sleeping together?â Gabrelle quickly deduced before Xander could say it himself.
âYeah... It doesnât feel right, even though itâs just platonic between us. I donât think I would appreciate being in Valteriaâs situation and knowing that the person I was seeing was sleeping with someone else at night.â
âWell, I figured this would happen eventually,â Gabrelle said. âEither you or I were bound to find someone eventually. Donât worry, Iâm not upset. Donât get me wrong, the snuggles were nice, but like I told you a while ago, I donât have nearly as much trouble sleeping when Iâm with the team.â
âThanks for not being upset, Gabrelle.â
âYou know this means you have to start paying for your own room, though, right?â
âAh, shit, youâre right. I forgot.â
Xander left the room to allow Gabrelle some privacy to get dressed and meandered back down the stairs to see if any other members of the team were already up. Looking around, he spied Graffus eating breakfast at at table and moved to sit with the dwarf.
âMorninââ Graffus greeted Xander through a mouthful of bread.
âMorning,â Xander greeted back.
âGlad to see you made it back, we were wondering if youâd be out all night,â Graffus told him, after swallowing his bread.
âI was out a bit late, I suppose. I let the time get away from me.â Xander said, not really wanted to be teased again about going out on a date. âSo what are you planning to do today?â
âBah, Frazay has roped me into helping her do research for the drakeling. So reading is whatâs in store for me.â Graffus tore himself off another piece of bread from his plate and slathered it with jam. âYou going to be going back to that [Tinker] youâve been spending time with lately?â
âYeah, thatâs the plan. Iâm supposed to learn more about converting mana types today, and also help her fix the suit of armor that I wrecked.â
âWelp,â Graffus said, now on his last piece of bread, âI hope ya learn something new. Never had much to do with [Tinker]s â not saying I dislike them, just that I havenât had much experience with them â so it donât make much sense to me. Using a hammer is about the only overlap in our professions.â
âI think your hammer is significantly larger than the one most [Tinker]s would use,â Xander chuckled. Thinking about what he should be doing before he headed to Valteriaâs, he asked Graffus, âHey, I might need to buy some monster parts or elemental cores, something like that, for practice. You know where I would go to find stuff like that?â
Graffus shrugged. âDunno. My guess would be an alchemy and reagents shop. Thatâs generally what weâve sold monster parts to that didnât go to a smith or leatherworker.â
âThanks, Graffus.â
The two of them chatted for a while longer, catching up on what each other had been doing. Graffus excused himself to finish getting ready for the day, saying he needed to tend to his beard, leaving Xander downstairs. Deciding to be productive and proactive, Xander stood as well and headed out of the inn to find an alchemy shop.
It wasnât long before he found one, a familiar scene of an eclectic collection of powders, liquids, crystals, and strange organic things floating in jars inside the building. The proprietor was a dwarf, seated at a workbench. They were grinding something into a powder as Xander entered. He received a distracted greeting before the dwarf returned to his work.
Xander wandered about the shop for a few minutes, looking at the various materials throughout the shop. He identified what he thought might be an elemental core, a jagged piece of crystal looking material that seemed to have an inner flame. As for the monster parts in jars, Xander had no idea what was what. He finally felt heâd waited long enough and moved closer to the worktable that the dwarf was still sitting at, working away at the mortar and pestle.
âExcuse me,â Xander said, grabbing the shopkeepâs attention.
âMm?â The dwarf said questioningly. âCan I help you find something?â
âI was wondering if you had any elemental cores. Something small, I just need one to practice with.â
âAye, Iâve a few of them around the shop. You want something to practice with? So a relatively weak core, then â not all the small ones are weak. Do you need any particular type?â The dwarf stood up and stretched, moving to one of the shelves.
âUhm no, just whatever is cost effective, I suppose.â
The alchemist rifled through the various bits and bobs on one of the shelves nearby before producing a small chip of what looked to be a semi-translucent stone. It was tinged slightly yellow with streaks of white. âThis here is a chip off a lightning attuned core. Pretty weak, but it does still produce mana.â
Xander could see the dwarfâs arm hair standing up as if from static electicity as he held up the stone. âHow much?â He asked.
âTwenty gold.â
Xander shrugged. Twenty gold wasnât an issue for him anymore, and he didnât feel like haggling. He always hated haggling. âSure.â He fished out the coin and handed it over to the dwarf.
The dwarf handed over the stone to Xander and the pop of a static electric shock could be heard as a tiny arc passed between the two of them. The dwarf grunted and shook his hand. âThanks for the business,â he told Xander. âAnything else you find yourself in need of?â
âNot at the moment, but thanks for asking.â Xander waved goodbye to the dwarf and pocketed the tiny elemental core. He continued down the street in the direction of Valteriaâs shop, thinking about how he was going to undo the welding job heâd done on Valteriaâs armor. Heâd need her to guide his repair efforts.
Xander returned to the inn momentarily to grab one of his golems. He settled on Atlas for now, as it was the most basic of the humanoid forms heâd created. No extra arms or weird feet on him, no sir.
Arriving at the building that contained Valteriaâs home and shop, Xander knocked before opening the door. âMorning,â he called out.
âXander! Hello!â Valteria called out. She was at the same work bench sheâd been at yesterday. Jarrett didnât seem to be in the shop at the moment, as Xander wasnât able to spot the man.
Commanding Atlas to follow him in and closing the door behind him, Xander started walking towards Valteria. âHowâs it going?â He asked.
âGood, itâs going good,â Valteria responded as Xander brought a stool over to her workbench. âHow about yourself?â
âNot bad. The upside of not sleeping is that I never struggle in the mornings now. I used to hate waking up.â Xander laughed. âI even ran an errand before I came here! Picked up this.â Xander fished around in his pocket until he found the small chip of elemental core and held it up for Valteria to see.
âCore?â She asked distractedly, staring at Atlas. She tore her eyes away and looked closely at the small crystalline stone. âLightning attuned?â
âThatâs what the [Alchemist] at the shop said,â Xander affirmed. âSaid it was a very weak one, but that it did still produce mana.â
âMmm, a good practice piece, then.â
âI thought it would be, too. Not that I know what to do with it, yet.â
âWell, how about this: I teach you to set the stone and make some conduit, and then you can help me fix my armor. All the glue has turned to dust by now, thank the gods.â
âSounds fair enough. So, how do mana conduits work?â
âWell, the concept is simple enough. Itâs a tube which conducts mana,â Valteria began to explain.
âMmhm.â Xander nodded along.
âWhat you need is a setting â usually of silver, as it has good mana conductivity â which will be the first step of conduction, taking the mana from the stone. Simply wrapping the core in silver wire can work well enough, drawing in the mana that the core puts out through its surface, but for a more effecient setting, small holes are usually drilled into the core to set the wire into as well, giving more surface area to draw from.â
âSo we care about the mana conductivity of the material, then? That makes sense, I just hadnât thought about it. I actually did a little experiment with my rune work to test which fillings were the most conductive.â
âOh really?â Valteria said, interested. âWhat were your results?â
âWell, gold and silver were high up there in conductivity, and probably make the most sense for someone who has to physically manipulate material without use of a skill â both for a core setting and for inlaying a rune â but I did find that sapphires and rubies were even more efficient at transferring mana than gold and silver.â
âMmm... interesting. Iâve heard of gemstones being used in very high-grade settings, as well as various other exotic materials. I read an account of one [Mechanist] who used tubes of mercury to conduct mana, though the relative effectiveness compared to silver wasnât mentioned.â Valteria cleared her throat. âUhm, now, where was I? Right, basic settings. Once you have your core â or monster organ, if youâre going that route â you connect it to the conduit. Usually, this is also silver wiring. I like to braid several smaller wires together, personally. I find it to be sturdier and hold up to flexing better. From there, it needs to be tied into a device. Which is a topic for tomorrow.â Looking around the shop, Valteria seemed to identify something on one of the shelves nearby. âI have a core that you could watch me set, and then you could try setting your own, if youâd like.â
âThat sounds good to me,â Xander said. âI always love to see a master as work,â he added, opting for a little flattery.
âFollow me, then.â Valteria said, standing up from her stool and waving for Xander to follow.
Xander followed Valteria as she walked over to the shelf sheâd been looking at earlier and took a palm sized, bright green stone from it. âNature attuned core,â She explained, holding it for Xander to see. âIâm told it was taken from some kind of moving tree.â Valteria then moved to another worktable, on which were several of what looked to be drill bits to Xander. There was also an apparatus that look like it was designed to hold the bits, which was confirmed for him when Valteria slotted one of the small drill heads into the device. âThis thing,â Valteria said, waving the drill a little bit, âis a life saver. I used to have to drill holes with a hand cranked one. Worth every single coin I paid for it to get an enchanted one.â She turned a dial on one side of the handheld device, which Xander was coming to think of as a magic dremel tool, and it began to come to life, the drill bit beginning to spin with a quiet whirring sound.
âNeat.â Xander commented. He watched patiently as Valteria drilled a series of shallow holes in the stone, the distinct screeching of metal on stone echoing through the shop floor. âSo whereâs Jarrett today?â He asked.
âOh, he has the day off today. He asked for it about a week ago, not sure what for, though,â Valteria said distractedly. Soon she was finished with the holes she was drilling into the core, and moved to another workbench. âNow we create a setting for the core. This is a fairly simple way of doing it, mind you, but it is effective.â
Xander watched as she took sections of pre-braided silver wire and fitted the ends into the holes she had drilled. Once each hole was filled with a section of wire, Valteria began to pull wire from a spool, wrapping the stone until it was completely covered with silver wire and binding the braided sections to the stone in the process. âThere,â she said, setting the stone down on the workbench. âA perfectly serviceable setting."
âSo, if I understand correctly, you coat the core in a mana conductive material â the more surface area, the better, hence the holes â to create a setting?â
âMmhmm,â Valteria said, nodding.
âSeems fairly straighforward. And then you connect the silver wiring thatâs wrapped around it to more wiring, and attach that to your device? Why the distance? Why not just connect the setting directly to the device?â
âYou absolutely can, if space isnât an issue. Technically, the connection between the mana battery and the device, even if itâs just a single point with no distance, is still referred to as a conduit, though, so itâs considered a three part creation.â
âOh, I see.â
âDo you want to try making your own, now? I donât mind lending you a little wire.â
âSure, but I should be good on material, I can produce it with my skills. Doesnât last without a source of mana, but I guess the core itself might provide enough. Think this little chip is a bit small to put holes in, though.â
Xander looked at the small piece of crystal in his hand. If he just need as much contact as possible with a mana conductive material, his best bet would be to embed it into a sapphire or ruby. He decided on ruby, for no particular reason. Still holding the chip of core in his hand, he concentrated on his [Creation] ability. Valteria watched, amazed, as a ruby began to take form and grow around the piece of core until it was completely coated in a thin layer of gemstone.
âSo, you can just... make things?â Valteria asked, sounding jealous.
âWell, it costs mana, and anything I make that isnât provided a source of mana that leaves my person disintegrates in a day, but, yes. I can just make things with my skills. But,â he added, cutting off Valteriaâs complaint of unfairness, âI have never received a skill that actually lets me improve a material. Sure, I have runes, which generally makes up the difference, but I donât have any skills that improve the things I make. So, if you made a mana battery, and I made a mana battery the same way with identical materials, yours is going to be better, I assume, because you have skills that passively improve the things that you make, am I right?â
âOkayyy,â Valteria huffed. âI guess that does make it a little less unfair. But ugh! It would be so nice not having to source materials.â She looked at the ruby with a piece of core set inside it that Xander had made. âWell, I guess that about does it for making a setting... I thought it might have taken you longer to make one. I guess we can move on to fixing my armor even sooner! Itâll be nice to have it up and moving again.â
âSure, sure, we can do that. Where is it, anyway?â Xander asked, looking around the shop again like he somehow would have missed the eight foot tall suit of armor.
âItâs in a shed behind the house,â Valteria explained. âI have it on a hoist so I can work on it.â
âAh, that would explain why I havenât seen it around.â
Exiting the shop, stopping for Valteria to put a small âclosedâ sign on the door, the two of them made their way around the building, where Xander saw the small shed that presumably held Valteriaâs armor. It looked like it could just barely hold the armor and one person â two, if they were comfortable with each other â inside it.
âSo this is where the magic happens?â Xander asked.
âIf by âmagicâ you mean maintenance and upgrades, then yes,â Valteria agreed. She opened the door of the shed, which comprised most of the front of the tiny little building, revealing her suit of armor, which was currently hanging from several chains attached to pulleys on the ceiling. Plates of armor were laying strewn about the suite, leaving the joints and inner workings more exposed.
Xander whistled, looking at the inner workings of the suit. He could see gears, cogs, and joints, and throughout the entirety of the armor were running filaments of silver wire, which he assumed were mana conduits running to and from elemental cores and the various mana powered aspects of the suit. âThis thing really is impressive. Almost as impressive as the woman who made it,â he said.
Valteria giggled, âStop it! Youâre supposed to be fixing this mess, not flirting with me!â
âAwh, canât I do both?â Xander asked, trying to sound as saccharine as possible.
âMmm, I suppose that if you are sufficiently skilled at multitasking, I might allow it,â Valteria said in a mockingly thoughtful tone.
âWell, I just so happen to be an expert, so flirt away I shall,â Xander replied. âNow, how about the beauty in front of me shows me exactly where the other beauty in front of me needs some repairs?â
Valteria sighed at Xanderâs antics, but he could see the slight flush in her face. âWell, you welded the wrist joints, elbows, and knees. They arenât welded all the way round, itâs more like you smoothed over a portion of it like it was wet clay. So if you could just... put it back? Shape it back to how it was, thatâs should be all thatâs needed.â
âPretty straightforward,â Xander said, standing behind Valteria as she pointed out each joint. He could see the misshapen parts where heâd slapped a weld onto the metal. He leaned over her and put his hands on the elbow joint that they were closest to and began to shape the metal back to its original form.
âYouâre... very close,â Valteria murmured to him as he formed the metal.
âWould you like me not to be?â He asked, carefully.
Valteria was silent for a moment before answering, âNo...â quietly.
Xander carefully shifted to be a little closer, but still not quite touching, as he moved on to the wrist joint of the same arm. The process itself was simple, but he was enjoying taking his time. As he finished the wrist, he turned to look at Valteria. He found himself looking right into her eyes, as she was staring back at him. Unable to resist the temptation he leaned in a little closer, gauging Valteriaâs reaction. When she, too, leaned towards him, he closed the small gap between them, drawing her into another kiss. Valteria pressed herself against him, the shed hiding them from any prying eyes on the street, and let out a small noise as Xander squeezed her tight. She was breathing a little bit harder than before the kiss as they separated again.
Valteria let out a breath. âYouâre⌠a really good kisser.â
âYeah?â Xander said, pleased with himself. âYouâre not so bad yourself.â
âAnd youâre a tease, looming over me like that in this tiny little shed,â Valteria continued. âNow youâve got me all flustered, how am I supposed to work now?â She mock complained.
Xander was glad to see that Valteria was comfortable enough with him to joke like that. âForgive me,â he said formally, making a deep bow, âHow ever can I make it up to the lady?â
âOh stop it, I will tolerate no bowing and scraping, even in jest,â Valteria said, slapping him lightly on the shoulder, as he was still holding the bow. âYou can make it up to me by fixing the rest of these joints! And by taking me out to dinner?â She added, hopefully.
âI think that can be arranged,â Xander said. âIs there anywhere you have in mind? I will admit, I havenât become very familiar with the local restaurant scene, what with my⌠dietary restrictions.â
âIt doesnât⌠make you feel bad to go out to a restaurant, does it?â Valteria asked softly, watching his face for a reaction.
âNah, donât worry,â Xander said, waving off the question with one hand. âIt doesnât bother me too much. Sure, I miss the taste of a good cut of steak, but I was never that into food. Eating was more of a thing I did because I had to, so Iâm not completely devastated by the loss. And I can still get some vicarious enjoyment out of watching someone else enjoy their food. Really the worst part is awkwardly having to refuse ordering anything,â he said with a laugh.
âAlright, if you say so,â Valteria said, letting out a slight breath of relief. âI was just worried that it might be upsetting to you, is all. I know I would miss eating.â She paused for a moment, something clearly on her mind. âWhat do you miss? If you donât mind my asking. I just⌠well, Iâm curious what itâs like for you.â
âMmm, in a lot of ways, life is still the same, and in other ways, Iâm technically doing better than I was before. Iâm incredibly resistant to damage now, even without my armor. I do miss sleeping, though. I try to give my mind a rest and just sort of daydream and let my thoughts wander or do some meditation during the nights, but itâs just not the same. Also means Iâm the one that pulls guard duty through the night,â he grumbled. âLetâs see, what else, what else. Ah, right. I canât smell anything. Or taste. I havenât worked out how to recreate those senses, yet. Though no sense of smell can be handy sometimes, I suppose. I donât know if youâve done much merc work â you mentioned being surprised that Iâm not just moonlighting â but uh⌠the smells that you encounter on a battlefield are⌠unpleasant. To say the least. It was weird not having a sense of touch either, but Iâve resolved that. Itâs a little bit different than my previous, natural sense of touch, but Iâve become accustomed to it to the point that I donât much think about the difference anymore. I think Iâve even got the density of receptors down in certain areas compared to others, so I'm more sensitive in some areas than others now, just like I used to be. Iâm still immune to being tickled though, so donât even think about it â thatâs a fight youâll lose.â Growing a bit more somber, Xander continued on. âI think⌠the biggest thing I miss is just the feeling that I fit in more. Now I always worry about being different, thereâs that nagging fear that anyone I get to know well is going to reject me once they find out what I am. Like Iâm secretly lying to everyone around me with this façade I have going on.â
Valteria nodded sadly. âI get that. Iâve been⌠rejected before, too. At least it happens or not right from the beginning for me. I get to know if they look down on me for being different immediately instead of fearing they might later down the road.â
âYeah,â Xander said. âPeople can really suck sometimes. But at least I can just, like, not tell people what I am if I so chose. You, my teammates, and the guild, since itâs on my status sheet, are really the only people who know. I keep it pretty private. You canât do that, so I think you probably have to deal with a lot worse than I do. Not that Iâd want you to hide what or who you are,â he added. âI happen to be quite enamored with who you are,â he said, teasing a smile from Valteriaâs sad face.
âSorry to bring up such a dour topic,â Valteria apologized. âI didnât think much on it before I asked.â
âNo worries,â Xander told her. âHonestly, I think itâs good to be able to talk about it with someone. Itâs healthy to be able to get you feelings out there. And it helps that I feel like you understand where Iâm coming from with it, though from a slightly different perspective.â
âYouâre surprisingly thoughtful sometimes,â Valteria said, only half teasing.
âOnly sometimes?â Xander asked with a faux expression of hurt on his face. âBy the way, you didnât react much to my comment about moonlighting as a merc. Do you ever go on contracts?â
Valteria shrugged. âI certainly wouldnât describe myself as a professional mercenary. Moonlighter is an apt descriptor, for me, I think. I have gone on a couple, here and there, mostly on kill contracts that would net me a core or organ that would be useful for my work.â
âMm, that makes sense. I suppose it could be handy having access to the ability to take contracts that would give you access to specialty materials,â Xander said.
âItâs also good for business,â Valteria explained. âMercs tend to like to buy from someone who has at least been out on a contract or two before.â
âAh, that makes sense. What kind of things do you sell to mercenaries, anyways? I saw Jarrett with a crossbow yesterday, but I imagine you make other things, too.â
âOh all kinds of little things. Portable, flameless heaters for cooking. Water purification sieves. Mm, letâs see⌠Iâve made a few custom order devices, too. One customer wanted to be able to shoot a jet of flame from their gauntlet, that was a fun one.â
âOoh, that does sound fun⌠reminds me of my flamethrower.â
âYour flamethrower?â
âYeah, itâs basically a big tank with a hose attached to it. At the end of the hose is a pump that causes the flammable liquid â I use dragonâs tar â to shoot out. Add a flame that the tar passes over and bam! Youâve got a giant stream of flame that will coat anything it hits with sticky, flammable tar,â Xander said, excitedly describing the device.
âThatâs⌠impressive. And kind of horrifying,â Valteria responded.
âMm⌠I guess youâre right. I mostly use it on giant spiders. Blugh,â Xander shuddered. âBut yeah, I suppose itâs not the nicest of ways to go. Very effective for area denial, though. Ah, actually I have an idea for crossbow bolt head that would ignite when it shatters! We should make that sometime and see if it sells.â
âHmm, I think that would draw some buyers. A flaming bolt head you didnât have to light first could be desirable to certain buyers.â
âPut that on the list and weâll get around to it sometime.â
âWe have a list?â Valteria said confusedly.
âWe should!â Xander said with a laugh. âNow letâs get the rest of these joints done.â
The repair of the other arm and the leg joints that Xander had locked into position during the tournament was a short affair. Looking over the bare metal frame of the armor still hanging from the ceiling, Xander clapped his hands together, mimicking dusting them off. âGood as new!â He exclaimed. Looking over to Valteria he asked concernedly, âIt is good as new, right?â
Valteria had been staring at the armor as well, lost in thought about how she was going to improve it next. âHmm? Oh, yes. Itâs right as rain again, ready for use. Thank you, by the way. For fixing it,â She said awkwardly.
âWell Iâm the one who broke it, so itâs only fair that I fix it. So what do you want to work on next?â Xander asked. âI could do some rune work for you. Orrr⌠we could kiss some more?â
Valteria flushed at the question, but didnât immediately say no.
A few minutes later, she found herself on her tip toes and lightly pressed against the interior wall of the shed, her lips pressed against Xanders.
Once the two of them were done acting like teenagers parked in a secluded parking lot, they made their way back into the shop. Stepping inside and closing the door behind them, Valteria let out a breath. âI think⌠you are going to have to do a lot of rune work to make up for how much you just kissed me, Xander.â
âWhat, you didnât like it?â He said with a raised eyebrow.
âI didnât say that,â Valteria said with a smirk.
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2024.05.11 13:53 Glacial_Shield_W Junpei/Yosuke/Ryuji
Just a question for the community. I see alot of disdain from streamers toward the three characters listed above, during playthroughs.
I find it kind of confusing, to be honest. They are all pretty average high school guys:
-Junpei is struggling to define himself and wants positive attention; leading him to act like a clown. He also is a kid who switched schools, so that is often tied with clownish behavior to get acceptance. His character arc shows him learning, the hard way, that constantly joking around, flirting with everyone, and not appreciating what you have will eventually leave you isolated and failing. He also learns to actually treat women like people the same way most guys who grew up without positive adult role models do, by meeting a woman who didn't put up with his nonsense and developing mutual respect. His struggle with inferiority complex is also developed in a realistic way; he attacks the protagonist a few times, knowing it doesn't help. When he finally admits his problem, he confesses he doesn't like admitting it. To the groans of every streamer I have looked at watching the scene. So... most people with this serious of an issue would not even admit it, let alone admit it and honestly say they are still struggling with it. It took a world of guts, and the guy is trying.
-Yosuke is your typical wanna be cool guy, clown. The key aspect of him, that varies from Junpei, is that he appears to be closeted, or somewhat struggling to define his sexuality. He reacts in a pretty average (and yes, unacceptable) way to a very flamboyant situation. Let me clarify, I am not straight. I am pansexual. At his age, I knew that and I still would have probably reacted that way to such an uncomfortably flamboyant situation. Unfortunately, it is part of growing up and facing yourself. I don't think the portrayal of how he acts was idyllic, i think it was fairly realistic. Whethere he was straight, bisexual, gay, or just unsure, his most infamous scenes with Kanji simply played out like a typical teenager screwing around with someone he liked, but also enjoyed teasing. With an undertone of potentially being in denial himself. Kanji is sensitive, but can easily get his own licks in. That is how teenage guys act in groups; it ain't right, but it is realistic. He clearly cares about Kanji, and his friends. He has... unpleasant... downsides, but that is something he will likely mature out of once the hormones stabilize. And he has friends around who absolutely will pressure him to make those positive changes (looking at Chie's galactic punt being a pretty good insentive).
-Ryuji. The jock, struggling to cope with the end of his promising sporting career, his hate for his exe coach and losing his sporting friends. Covers it up through angry outbursts and lack of respect. Ou boy, can I relate to this kid. I have been there, witnessed that, and experienced his pain. And oh god, does it hurt. He clearly has a crush on Ann, and is aware that Morgana has one to. I hate to speak the truth here, but Ryuji, through his background experience, is going to be hyper competitive and have a more 'alpha' tone. Is it right? No. Is it hypocritical, since he went after Kamoshida? I mean. Abit... but Kamoshida is a grown ass man going after teenage girls who he teaches. Ryuji just has a crush on a friend and isn't very good at masking it, or flirting properly. I also had an attractive, female, best friend, who I sometimes struggled to frame my feelings for. It is selfishness, bjt his character arc shows him realizing that selfish desires for things aren't the way to go, and he grows into more selflessly acting on bad situations. I have been there. This guy was me, at 16-18. And his plotline hurt my stomach. It is hard to step away from your hopes and dreams, which were driven by competitive nature, because of a twisted old man. It is even harder when his shitty views of the world were what you knew for over a decade. It clouds your eyes in alot of bad ways. But Ryuji clearly took multiple steps to grow.
I guess, what I am saying in such a long winded way, is most persona characters are plotted to have major flaws, scars, etc, and to develop over time. I just don't understand why these fairly typical guys, who have some typical crappy teenage guy personalities, that they desperately need to grow out of, receive more hate than other characters that also display fairly typical teenage, toxic, behavior. They are teenagers, who have been through alot, they will grow up. Because they have a solid safety net in their friends. Which is somewhat the point of the games.
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2024.05.10 20:54 Sylesth Combat Artificer 66
I'm back with another post! I apologize about the length of time it's been. Nothing particular has happened - just been tired and a little uninspired. But I do still have enough to post, so here you go! As always, thanks for all your engagement and for reading!
First Previous Next âWell hello to you, too, Charles,â Valteria replied. âThe âgiant catâ is named Freyja, firstly, and she is the bonded companion of Xander, here. He said I should tell you that sheâs an emotional support animal.â
Charles barked out a laugh at the absurdity of the statement. He made his way from behind the counter, leaving the bar to one of the other workers in the tavern, to continue speaking with Valteria and Xander without needing to shout over the din of the tavern. âAn emotional support animal? I take it youâre a [Godsmarked], eh?â He said, turning to face Xander.
âUhm, yes. I am. Nice to meet you. Valteria told me that youâre also a [Godsmarked]?â
âSure am,â Charles replied. âPulled right out of Denver, not that you could tell from an accent or anything. You might not have noticed, but that language skill you got? Kinda strips you of any accent, makes you talk just like a native. Where are you from?â
âAtlanta,â Xander replied.
âAh, another American! Course, [Godsmarked] come from all over. Some of them arenât even from Earth! I met a Vorn [Godsmarked] once. Few dwarven âmarked, too. So itâs always nice to meet someone who can appreciate what a beer, hotdog, and screaming at your TV for a sports match really mean.â
âWell, I was always more of a fan of wine, personally. But Iâll admit to getting frustrated at the people on my TV.â
âWhatâs a TV?â Valteria chimed in, not wanting to be left out.
Xander and Charles both looked at Valteria and started trying to explain what a TV was at the same time.
âItâs like my phone, but bigger and just for moving pictures,â Xander started off.
âItâs a big rectangular box that shows paintings that move and tell a story,â Charles said at the same time.
Valteria looked a little frazzled by the simultaneous explanations but seemed to get the gist of it. âWhy would you be screaming at it?â
Xander looked to Charles, who said, âShould I explain or do you want to?â
Xander shrugged. âAll you.â
âWell you could watch different sports on the TV, and they were broadcast live â that is, in real time. There was a usually alcohol involved. You ever seen someone spectating a duel who shouts what they think their favorite should be doing?â
âMmhm,â Valteria said with a nod.
âWell weâd do the same thing, except since we werenât actually there, weâd just shout it at the TV.â
âSo they could hear you through it?â
âNah,â Xander chimed in. âBut that didnât stop people.â
âOdd.â Valteria commented, a bit confused by the idea of shouting at a bunch of players who couldnât hear you.
âPeople just tended to get really excited about it,â Xander tried to offer as an explanation.
Changing the subject, Charles said âSo, I have two burning questions for you two. One, what brings you to my establishment tonight? Itâs been quite a while since youâve been by, Valteria, and I canât say that youâve ever brought someone with you before. And two... can I pet the cat?â
âUhm...â Valteria started and trailed off, looking embarrassed.
Xander answered his question with more ease, saying, âSure, she loves to be scratched on the chin and behind the ears, but really she likes being pet anywhere.â
Charles stepped closer to the huge, smoke colored cat and held out a hand for her to sniff. Freyja immediately rubbed her cheek against Charlesâs hand, anticipating getting pet by the man. Encouraged, Charles began to pet Freyja in earnest, thoroughly scratching her chin before moving to her ears, earning himself a pleased grunt from Freyja. But that didnât stop him from noticing Valteriaâs lack of an answer.
ââUhm?â He asked Valteria, turning to look at her, but not stopping his petting of Freyja.
âXander said I needed to have a drink at the end of the day and I was inclined to agree with him,â Valteria finally answered.
âAhhh, a date then,â he teased his violet friend. Noticing Valteriaâs lack of an immediate denial, and a slight smile that he took as Xanderâs acceptance of the statement, his eyes widened a little and he said, âOh, oh I see. A
real date.â Valteriaâs blush came back as strongly as ever as Charles continued on. âWell Iâd hate to keep you two from each other! Come, sit, I spy a free table just over there. Iâll bring you two some ale in a bit.â
âOh, uh, I canât drink,â Xander interjected. âItâs a... medical condition? But bring two anyway. I think Valteria could use it.â
Charles shrugged before saying, âFair enough I suppose. I wonât pry too much, at least not on our first meeting. I
do hope to see you again though. [Godsmarked] are always welcome here. Now go get that table before someone else does!â
Xander led the still embarrassed Valteria along with Freyja to the small, empty table near one of the corners and they both sat down, Freyja taking up part of the floor between the two of them. For a little while, the two of them just stared at each other, not sure where to start.
Finally, Xander thought of something to say. âYou know, I still havenât helped fix your armor. Do you want to work on that tomorrow?â
âOh yeah,â Valteria said, remembering herself that her armor was currently defunct. âThat would be nice. Feels a bit weird to know that I donât have access to it, now that I think about it.â
Xander nodded. âI can understand that. Iâd feel vulnerable without access to my armor, too.â
âExactly,â Valteria agreed. âIâm also realizing that we only went over a little bit of your runework and I didnât teach you anything about cores, or converting them to different mana types.â
âThatâs okay,â Xander said. âI guess you could give me a lecture now, if you want. I like listening to you.â
âOh hush,â Valteria chuckled. âBut I suppose itâs only fair to give you at least some detail. Letâs see. The most important parts of a mana battery that involves a shift in mana type are the core of the battery itself, and the filter that you pass the mana through to change its type. These are almost always parts of a monster or elemental. So, if you had, say, a core from an earthen elemental and a some hide from a creature that was attuned to lightning in some way, you could pass the mana from the earth core through the hide of the lightning attuned creature to create lightning mana. Iâm a little less versed on
why it works like that. Something to do about how monsters are able to absorb ambient mana around them and convert it into mana of their attuned type. If they have one. Not all monsters are attuned to a type of mana, of course. So you have your battery, mana conduit âwhich Iâll show you how to make later- running to your filter, and then from your filter you have more conduit which runs to the apparatus that you want to power. Which is a beast in its own right, as you have to have at least a basic understanding of how a type of mana works to get it to power something. We can go over that kind of thing once you get the hang of just converting mana.â
Xander nodded along as Valteria spoke. He hadnât been lying earlier when he said that he enjoyed listening to her talk. When she was on a topic that interested her, he could see the gears turning behind her eyes as they put pieces together that showed she really knew what she was talking about. Plus she seemed to enjoy talking about her work, and Xander liked to see that. Her happiness was infectious, giving him a vicarious sense of enjoyment. âI see... I guess I need to go shopping for some monster parts. And start looking out for what to pull out of monsters when Iâm out on contracts, too.â
âMmhm, that would certainly be the cheaper way to go about it, though I suppose thereâs a lot more luck and danger involved in it. If you have some kind of way to measure mana density, then you should be able to use it to locate the core or organ of a monster that it uses to power its abilities.â
Xander frowned slightly in thought. âHmm... I canât say that I do, but I think I could design something with some research.â
Valteriaâs ears practically wiggled when she heard the word research. âSpeaking of research, what kind of things
have you researched and done with your rune work?â She leaned forwards toward Xander in interest.
âWell, a few major things, I suppose.â Xander said thoughtfully. âLetâs see... well thereâs the golems for one, as well as uhm, my body,â he said. âAnd my armor, my wings and my backpack, too. Those are all rune work. My weapons are also runed â the one I usually use wasnât really fit for the tournament. I figured a mace designed to increase force and dissolve metal or anything else it touches was a little bit... deadly for a sporting tournament. Oh, and thereâs my gun, too. And the bombs.â Xander purposely left out the soul rippers. He didnât want to talk about them right now.
Valteria was clearly interested. âGods above that is a lot of rune work. Bombs? And a gun? What exactly is a gun? Iâve heard Charles reference them in passing before.â
âWell the bombs are pretty straightforward. Theyâre filled with an explosive mixture, and then I use a ranged gathering array and a flame rune to trigger the explosive. Iâve also designed ones that detonate on impact, too. As for the gun, itâs a tool thatâs designed to accelerate a piece of metal to high speed very rapidly, which you use to shoot something with. Back on Earth, an explosive powder was used to propel the bullet â that's the name for the projectile â out of the gun. I have a few that I can show you. I think youâd like them. Theyâre completely mechanical, no magic involved. The one I mostly use now is based on the same design, but uses a runic array to propel the bullet instead, which makes it much quieter. Thereâs also no kickback and I made it larger so that I can take down bigger things, too.â
âI think I would like to see those guns you mentioned. Is it better than a crossbow?â
âA lot,â Xander said. âAt least the ones I have. They have a much faster rate of fire than a crossbow. The old ones, where you had to load each individual bullet might not hold up to a skill user using a bow or crossbow, though. Well, when you start throwing skills around, Iâve seen arrows that will blast a hole in something that should have completely ignored an arrow. But my current project is, perhaps, a little bit less exciting.â Xander pulled the small piece of cloth heâd been working on the day before, which shimmered as he held it up.
âItâs pretty, but, what is it?â Valteria asked, staring at the square of fabric that was inexplicably shifting colors in front of her.
âWell, when Iâm done with it, it will be an adaptive camouflage, something that changes to match its environment. Right now itâs just a test piece instead of a whole cloak. Iâve got the darker tones down,â he demonstrated by laying the cloth down flat on the table. It immediately took on the color and pattern of the wood under it. âAs you can see. But on more vibrant colors, it doesnât quite work right, yet. In fact, it makes them even brighter. So it still needs a little tweaking. I think I need to tweak how much light the arrays are putting out.â
âThat does sound like it would handy⌠especially in your line of work. Though Iâm not sure what exactly light has to do with it.â
âAh, itâs a bit of a complicated explanation, but the short of it is that itâs a bit like a light created illusion overlayed on the fabric to match whatâs near it.â
Charles appeared briefly, having managed to sneak up on the two of them, distracted as they were by their conversation.
âGods, Valteria, I didnât think you could bag a bigger nerd than yourself, but I think you might have come close,â he joked, apparently having caught at least some of Xanderâs explanation of his project. He placed two mugs down in front of Valteria. âIâll put them on your tab.â
âHey!â Valteria exclaimed. âI thought it was interesting!â
âOf course you did, because youâre a nerd!â Charles teased her as he moved to give other customers their drinks.
âHmph,â Valteria huffed. âI am
not a nerd!â
âIf you say so,â Xander chuckled. âThereâs nothing wrong with being a nerd, though, you know. In fact, I like seeing you get excited about things you think are interesting.â
âReally?â Valteria said as she took a sip of her ale. The cup looked excessively large in her small hands.
âMmhm! Itâs cute,â he said with a smile. Valteria sputtered on her drink a little bit at being called cute, but managed not to choke.
âYou know,â she said slowly, putting her drink back down, âif you keep calling me beautiful, and attractive and cute, I might start to believe you.â
âGood, you should, because you are,â Xander replied seriously.
The rest of the evening continued on in much the same manner, the Valteria and Xander taking the time to get to know one another better, and discussing various ideas they had for projects. Xander regaled Valteria with an account of his teamâs fight with the sea drake. Then if was Valteriaâs turn to relay her experience of traveling from one continent to another and the various and occasionally terrifying sea creatures and storms she had encountered on the voyage.
As it drew later and the tavern became emptier, the two of them continued to talk. Valteria was several ales in â more than she usually drank, if Xander was any kind of judge of tipsyness. He wished he could still get drunk. Valteria stretched her small frame and yawned.
âMaybe itâs just the ale, but Iâm a bit tired.â Looking around at the significantly less lively tavern floor, she commented, âOr maybe itâs just actually getting late.â
Xander smiled at her and said, âIt could be both.â
âYeah, maybe both.â
Freyja had long ago decided that her time would be best spent taking a nap, her body parked halfway under the small table that Xander and Valteria were seated at.
âWould you like me to walk you back to your house?â Xander asked.
âOh I wouldnât want to trouble you with all that,â Valteria lazily waved away the suggestion. âIâm sure youâre eager to get back to your own bed.â
Xander shrugged. âI donât mind a bit, in fact Iâd like to, if youâre amenable to it. Frankly it feels rude to send you off in the dark like that. And, well, I also just donât need to sleep anymore,â he added. âIâve started to find it rather soothing to take a stroll through the city at night. And Freyja could use the exercise.â
Freyja half woke at hearing her name and groaned slightly.
Valteria seemed pleased with the offer. If Xander was capable of reading minds, he would know that she had been hoping heâd want to walk her home even after sheâd told him it was okay if he didnât, but he wasnât, so he didnât know. âWell, if you insist, then I shanât stop you,â she said happily.
âAh, also, let me cover your tab for the night,â Xander told her. âI donât know if itâs the same here, but where Iâm from itâs a bit traditional for the man to cover at least the first few dates.â
âOhh, how old fashioned of you,â Valteria teased. âBut Iâd feel guilty since you didnât have anything at all. Can we at least split it, instead?â
âI think I can live with that,â Xander assented.
The two of them made their way to the bar, Valteria a bit unsteady on her feet, where Charles was still working, cleaning a few mugs. âTime for us to pay up,â Xander said, grabbing the other [Godsmarked]âs attention. âHow much do we owe?â
Once Charles tallied up the amount of drinks theyâd had and did the mental match to calculate the total cost, he let them know. Valteria paid her half from a small coin pouch that had been tucked somewhere in her clothes while Xanderâs coin came from his inventory. Charles took the coin, not bothering to count it again, and stashed it somewhere behind the bar. âMake sure you get her home nice and safe, now, you hear?â He told Xander.
âCharles! I can take care of myself just fine!â Valteria half exlaimed, half whined.
âIâm sure you can,â Xander agreed. âBut Iâd feel terrible if something happened, and Iâm sure Charles would too. Heâs just looking out for you is all.â
âMaybe I just want to make sure you and loverboy there get to spend a little more time together, eh?â Charles joked.
âUgh, youâre always teasing me, Charles!â
âWell, you always give me a reaction.â Charles said with a smirk.
Valteria huffed, but it all seemed to be good natured quarreling to Xander. The same kind of ribbing that he and his teammates would give each other.
âIâm not complaining about spending more time with you,â Xander chimed in.
âXander you are not helping!â
Xander walked arm in arm with Valteria on their trip back to her home and shop, Freyja sleepily following along. The big cat was frequently letting out long yawns, which Valteria would giggle at. They walked at a leisurely pace, taking in the city at night as they headed back, Valteria holding herself closer to Xander to help her balance. Xander decided not to tease her about it. He told himself it was because he didnât want to be mean, but really it was because he was enjoying the closeness.
Finally, they reached Valteriaâs doorway. The two of them stared at each other for a long moment.
Evidently, Valteria still retained some liquid courage from her ale because she finally spoke and said, âWould it be rude of me to kiss you?â
Xander, very slowly, said, âI think... It would be rude not to.â Wrapping Valteria in his arms and feeling her return his hug, Xander leaned in. It was a good kiss, if tiny a bit awkward due to their height difference. But between Valteria standing on her toes and Xander craning his neck downward, it was achieved. Xander found himself idly wondering if his lips felt odd. Valteriaâs certainly didnât.
Eventually, the two of them pulled away, both a little frazzled and flustered.
Just slightly breathless, Valteria said, âThat was... it was good.â
âIt was. It really was,â Xander agreed. âIâll... see you again tomorrow?â
âIâd like that,â Valteria agreed.
Xander watched Valteria unlock the door to her shop floor and enter, locking it back behind herself. He stood a little bit longer, just staring at the door, lost in thought. Shaking his head to clear his mind, he started walking with Freyja back to the inn. He was glad Freyja was with him, as it removed the temptation to fly back to the inn. He gave the large cat a pet on the head. Walking would help him sort his thoughts out.
What were his thoughts? Even he wasnât sure at the moment, still feeling a little flustered. He shook his head again and tried to gather his mind. Heâd just had a date. Heâd broken down and started flirting with a woman he found attractive and turned a friendly outing into a date. He let out a sigh. Should he be upset with himself? He was, a little bit. Heâd told himself that he was a married man still when he had arrived on Tillania, and yet here he was acting like he was single. He was split into two modes of thought. Objectively, he knew that there was essentially zero chance of him ever returning to Earth. And that even if he had the option, his new body would probably cease to function in what he assumed was a mana-less environment and heâd immediately die. Emotionally, though, it felt disrespectful to the memory of his marriage to even entertain the idea of another romance, let alone do... what heâd just done. Even if he did think that Helen wouldnât hold it against him if she knew that, somewhere out there, he was still alive.
So much had happened in the last three years to Xander, even if two of them had been spent unconscious, that he wondered if heâd even be able to relate to Helen anymore. How would he go back to a life of going to work at an office job, going to drill once a month. The most dangerous aspect of his life being the prospect of being in a car crash. Now, a car crash wouldnât even phase him or even damage his body beyond, perhaps, cosmetic damage. He was a different man, wasnât he? Similar, in many ways, maybe even most ways, to the man who had come to Tillania that day, but not the same anymore. Heâd never fought anything or anyone before that day. Now, he had lost count of how many creatures, monsters, and even people that had fallen to him and his teammates. Heâd created things that he could only dream of back on Earth. Golems, wings, magical weapons. He was going to have to come to terms with the fact that he had changed. And while he wasnât sure he was ever going to fully move on or get over being pulled away from his marriage and from Earth, he was going to have to accept that he wasnât going to be going back to them. He deserved companionship, didnât he?
Feeling a bit more resolute and less frustrated with himself, Xander finished the walk to the inn, which he was sure had a name, but heâd never bothered to remember it, simply referring to it as âthe innâ in his head, in relative mental peace. He quietly put Freyja back into her stall in the stables and made his way into the inn, which held only a few patrons at this hour, none of whom paid him any attention.
Xander climbed the stairs and walked to Gabrelleâs door. He paused for a moment, realizing something.
Gabrelleâs door. Fuck. He was going to have to stop sharing a room, more importantly a bed, with Gabrelle, wasnât he? He didnât think that he should be dating someone and sleeping with someone else, even if that sleeping was actually just sleeping and nothing more. He knew heâd feel weird to know that Valteria was sleeping with another man, and heâd only been on one date with the woman! He hoped Gabrelle didnât take it too hard. Though, ever since theyâd rendezvoused with the rest of the team, he had noticed that she slept much more soundly. He wasnât really a needed crutch for her to be able to sleep well anymore. It was still going to be an awkward conversation. Also, Gabrelle was going to tease him about going on a date.
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2024.05.10 19:47 TheScholarlyStrumpet GISS Educational Programing Presents: Switching and Versatility
| Welcome to my mini-TED talk (not affiliated) about Switching and Versatility (aka Vers). \* NOTE: This post is NOT intended to judge, shame, or police language use - only to provide information that has not always been made readily available to most.**) DEFINITIONS Simply put, the roles of Top, Vers, and Bottom merely describe the preference for giving and/or receiving (often of penetration but not always). - Tops prefer to give
- Bottoms prefer to receive
- Vers is open to either role.
Dom(me), Switch, and Sub refer more specifically to Power Dynamics (aka power play) usually within a BDSM context. A Dominant partner may also enjoy or even prefer to Bottom (receive) and vice versa! A chart created by magpiewords to illustrate this with the idea of tying shoelaces in place of specific sex acts. https://preview.redd.it/wffd81m1xmzc1.png?width=477&format=png&auto=webp&s=fbcd6e7c0d68c48a35c47bdbc880fdead284169a WHY THIS MATTERS Yes, language can change and shift over time and Topping/Bottoming has come to have an implied power dynamic. But there is a reason it is IMPORTANT to know the difference. In a society that enforces Compulsory heterosexuality (Comp het)*, binary gender roles, and casual misogyny, there is a long history of the receiving partner being feminized and therefore seen as inherently the âsubmissiveâ one. This is a denigrating stereotype that can cause real harm. Equating âTopâ with âDominantâ reinforces this negative stereotype in the same way. One way we can mitigate this is by using the format of Top/Bottom, or Vers when discussing penetration preferences but NOT power dynamics. EXAMPLES If, for example, we want to say that Aziraphale likes to reduce Crowley to a ngk-ing puddle through orgasm denial and praise, we would say that Aziraphale is Domming. If Aziraphale does this while riding Crowleyâs dick until the demon wants to explode: Aziraphale is still Domming, he is also Bottoming. If we believe that âService Topâ Crowley is also Dominant, perhaps he ties up pillow princess Aziraphale and teases him with alternating sensations, then slides inside. However, Crowley could just as well be a Service Top and Submissive by taking direction from Aziraphale on just how to please, how fast or slow to go, how deeply to thrust. IN CONCLUSION Any personal preference is valid and a delight to read (and I believe most of us will happily read them all). Now, hopefully, you better understand how to articulate those preferences clearly and with respect to Queer history and our shared community! Thank you for coming ;) *edit: It was brought to my attention that CompHet has TERF-y connections (yikes!) so we might be better served by using "heteronormativity" but I'll leave it all here for educational purposes. submitted by TheScholarlyStrumpet to GoodOmensAfterDark [link] [comments] |
2024.05.08 13:25 Eli_Freeman_Author No, Ezra and Sabine would not be a âshipâ
No, Ezra and Sabine would not be a âshipâ
To qualify the title, no, Ezra and Sabine do NOT absolutely have to be a couple, but if they were to become one, it would NOT be a ship. A âshipâ is a relationship thatâs rushed and/or forced with no real development. Ezra and Sabineâs relationship has had years of development. Could they remain as simply friends? Yes, but ironically, it was their âfriendshipâ that felt like more of a ship. It felt like the
Ahsoka show, helmed by Dave Filoni, was going out of its way to tell us: âno, theyâre not a couple, theyâre just friends.â
I believe that Filoni made some very poor writing choices to stress something that didnât really need to be stressed, such that it almost felt like he was in denial. The line âI love you like a sisterâ was never in
Rebels, Filoni essentially had that retconned in, and like many I was put off by their (largely) emotionless reunion. Even if they were âjust friendsâ I believe there would be a great deal more emotion displayed between two people that hadnât seen each other in some ten years, especially when one of them was in a precarious situation when they parted. I also believe Ezra would be far more curious about Sabine being Force sensitive, perhaps even offering to help train her when she told him that her training hadnât gone as well with Ahsoka. He did help to train her with the Darksaber, didnât he? Why that never came up is another discussion, but for now, letâs focus on shipping.
In case you think Iâm desperate to have them as a couple, no Iâm not. Iâm about the furthest thing from it. Like many millennials and Gen-Zâers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers) I DESPISE shipping. Absolutely DESPISE it. With a flaming passion. Perhaps for this reason, and maybe some others, like many millennials and Gen-Zâers (and perhaps some Gen-Xers and boomers), Iâm generally wary of nearly all romance in fiction, and generally avoid it in my own work. The sad reality is that romance is perhaps the most abused genre in all of fiction, all throughout history. It has been so badly abused that many people, including myself for the longest time, have equated romance with shipping, though Iâm slowly beginning to see that they are not the same thing, and one does not necessarily have to go with the other.
But sadly, many writers, through time immemorial, have not been able to separate them, going back into ancient times and perhaps even into pre-history, that is before languages were actually written down. Some of what is considered great literature; classics like
Romeo and Juliet, are predicated on shipping, though at least the consequences of this âwhirlwind romanceâ are shown to be fairly stark. Star Wars itself is no stranger to shipping, resulting in a very awkward incestuous kiss when Luke was shipped with Leia, then Leia was placed with Han and Lucas made Luke and Leia brother and sister, apparently having forgotten his original ship. Later Lucas essentially shipped Anakin and Padme, resulting in some of the most cringeworthy dialog in the history of film. Many fans of the Prequels even have been somewhat critical of Anakinâs portrayal, particularly in regards to the âromanticâ scenes, with many describing them as âcreepyâ. Some have speculated that this was intentional, though personally I think it was just the result of bad writing on the part of George Lucas, and an impatience on his part for Anakin and Padme to become a couple, hence âshippingâ.
One might wonder why this is so prevalent in fiction, and tragically, one does not have to look far. Fiction is merely a reflection of reality, therefore the reason that shipping is so common in our stories is that we fall so easily into it in real life. Indeed, entire cultures may be based around shipping, or at least very heavily wrapped up in it. Throughout history arranged marriages have been the norm, and the idea of marrying for âloveâ is something relatively new. To be fair, Iâve actually met people in arranged marriages who seemed to be fairly happy, but those same people were very open in telling me that many despise that aspect of their culture, and that it is quite normal for those in an arranged marriage to try to get out.
People might come together for âloveâ without marrying, but even then it often creates expectations that might turn into a burden. Even when a marriage is voluntary and for âloveâ, people are often left unsatisfied, such that today in the West the divorce rate is something like 50%. Happy, stable, long term relationships seem to be the exception across cultures and across the breadth and width of time. And yet pursuit of love and some kind of relationship seems to be the highest calling for many people, both in real life and in fiction. And it could be that the accumulated disgust is finally starting to boil over.
To be fair, this may not be the first time in history that the pendulum has shifted. You may recall that in Victorian times attitudes changed drastically, as compared to the previously bawdy Elizabethan times. Looking at a play from Shakespear, if you can understand the language, youâll see all kinds of vulgar references, as well as what I believe are fairly sappy romances like in the aforementioned
Romeo and Juliet, though I canât say for certain whether Shakespear was actually endorsing that type of attitude towards âloveâ or presenting it as a cautionary tale, maybe even something to be ridiculed in some of his other plays.
But regardless, Victorians as you may well know had a very conservative attitude towards anything to do with romance, and would often avoid the subject in many places, or tread very carefully around it, as if walking on eggshells. Itâs not that people stopped being romantic, in fiction or real life, but it was treated as something very serious and even dangerous, with many urges repressed or even suppressed entirely. This had all kinds of effects on society, both positive and negative. On the positive side, it reinforced the ideal of people being committed to their partners, and of marriage as a sacred institution rather than a âcasual hookupâ as was more common in Elizabethan times. Likewise it reinforced ideals of modesty and chastity, which may be coming back into vogue, though under different names. But just as there were positive aspects to these attitudes, so were there negative ones.
Just because the urges I described were repressed did not mean that they disappeared. In fact, they often morphed into things that many would consider âunhealthyâ. From one statistic that I saw, in Victorian times about one in every 60 houses was a brothel, with the modern rate being closer to one in 6000. Additionally, the rights of women were often repressed, such that they could not fully express themselves and find their own identity, and path in life, as individuals. Just as Elizabethan ideals gave way to Victorian ones, so did the Victorian ideals gradually begin to erode.
Perhaps it began with the Jazz Age of the 1920âs (the âRoaring Twentiesâ), or with the increased interconnectivity of people traveling to different parts of the world during World War I, not to mention the cynicism that pervaded throughout the West in response to failed old ideals leading to the deadliest war in history up to that point, but many Victorian ideals began to be seen as a joke, and even resented for their âoppressionâ, which to be fair was not entirely unjustified. But regardless, people gradually, and at times not so gradually, became more and more âliberatedâ and promiscuous. This culminated in the Sexual Revolution in the late 1960âs, when what had previously been seen as a vice and even a sin was now seen as not only ânormalâ but as a healthy form of expression, a virtue even. And just as these ideas were embraced in real life, so too were they reflected in our films, TV shows, and other media, often to the consternation of older people and institutions, like the Vatican. The Catholic Church even went so far as to âbanâ certain films, that is to declare them immoral for good Catholics to watch. Many of the films that were banned back then, or at least controversial, like
The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman, are fairly tame by todayâs standards.
It continued through the 70âs, at times warming and at times cooling through the rest of the century, until you could argue it reached a kind of crescendo in the early 21st century with the advent of so-called âdark romanceâ and the publication of books like
Fifty Shades of Grey. (Ironically, many of the themes within this âdark romanceâ can trace their roots back to the Victorian era, yet another indication that repressing urges without addressing them often doesnât work out as one might hope.) But as happens all too often, just as something reaches peak popularity is when it begins to go out of style, and that is what we may be experiencing right now. As weird as it may sound, we may actually have come full circle and may be on the cusp of a âNew Victorian Ageâ (complete with âdark romanceâ, even). Web sites like Porn Hub and OnlyFans, as well as other similar sites, may be the new âbrothelsâ, and what was once openly celebrated may be going underground, to an extent. The effects of this on society have been interesting to say the least, and at times I would even say bizarre.
Whilst many younger people seem content with these changes, many older people are concerned. Iâve seen a number of books, films, and other media receive positive reviews for example based specifically on their lack of romance. Many of these books/films, etc. fall into the âyoung adultâ category, meaning that it is young adults obviously who mostly consume them. At the same time Iâve heard a number of older people, mostly boomers and Gen-Xers,
criticize these same books/films for their lack of romance. Even some older millennials seem upset by the changes, as perhaps evidenced by Jennifer Lawrenceâs latest film
No Hard Feelings (though to be fair that film may be lampooning the older generationâs frustration as well as the younger generationâs frigidity). So just as in the past older people were concerned about the promiscuity of the youth, now it actually appears that many older people are concerned about the youthâs
lack of promiscuity.
Who could have seen that coming? But to be fair, the younger generation hasnât gone completely frigid. As stated earlier, much of the promiscuity has gone âundergroundâ, or online, which many would argue is not very healthy as it might undermine actual relationships, whether they are romantic in nature or simple friendships. And speaking of that, friendships within stories nowadays often arenât portrayed in a very authentic or compelling manner, perhaps because in ditching romance modern writers havenât quite yet learned how to replace it with something else. In other words, the âNew Victorian Ageâ may not be an exact repeat of the previous one, but may have its own twists and turns, for better and for worse.
This may all essentially be a manifestation of the Human Condition, in that we just canât seem to find a happy medium, neither in real life nor in fiction. Thus we keep swinging from one extreme to the other, apparently getting wilder with each swing.
So where does all this leave us? What is it that we really want in our lives, and in our stories? Especially in regards to relationships? I think at some level we all want to see good and healthy relationships between people and/or characters, whether romantic or platonic. I believe at some point we would like to see good examples of both friendship and romance, and I would argue that the best examples of romance have them combined. Even a toxic relationship, if well portrayed or documented, can be instructive and serve as a good example of what to avoid in our lives that we might be happier and relate better to each other. A good relationship, by contrast, can give us something to aspire to and inspire us to not only look for the right kind of person to complement our lives, but to make ourselves worthy of that person. And here Iâll add that Iâm perfectly aware that in real life (and thus in fiction) relationships can be very complicated and heavily nuanced, with elements of both âgoodâ and âbadâ in them. Just as people change over time so can the relationships between them change, at times getting better and at times worse, sometimes breaking entirely and sometimes growing stronger. Relationships can have just as many layers and dimensions as characters, more even perhaps, and a skilled writer should be able to reflect this complexity. At other times a relationship can be fairly straightforward, simplicity sometimes being the best approach. But regardless, the audience should be able to relate and identify with what they are seeing, such that hopefully they can incorporate the lessons from it in their own lives.
Where can we find good examples of relationships to study? There may be a number of them in the real world, but the trouble with studying real world relationships is that theyâre often much more complicated than fictional ones (just as real people are more complicated than fictional characters), and for many of them it is almost impossible to know all the details and nuances because they are often kept private, understandably so, and even if they arenât it can still be difficult, due to unique circumstances, to see how to relate them to our own lives. Additionally there may be far more disagreement about a real life situation than a fictional one, with many more points of view. To keep things simple, for the purpose of this article I would like to focus on fictional relationships. (And fair warning, there will be some spoilers.)
One of the best places to look, I would argue, would be the films of Hayao Miyazaki. (And this is pretty significant to Star Wars as you will see in a bit.) A film of his that stands out to me the most is
Princess Mononoke. Like many of Miyazakiâs films it has elements of romance, and yet subverts them in a way that makes complete sense and feels very genuine, without taking away from any of the accompanying charm. It starts with two young people, San and Ashitaka, and as soon as they encounter each other there is a kind of expectation of romance. This may be inevitable to some degree when you have a man and a woman of about the same age encounter each other in a story, especially if they happen to be adolescents. The expectation may not be inherently bad, and Miyazaki does play with it. Both characters are thrust into dangerous situations, at various points end up saving each otherâs lives, and at a certain point I think it is obvious that they have feelings for each other. I was certain that at the end of the film, they would be together, and if things had gone that way, it would make complete sense. Instead, they go in different directions, but remain good friends, and considering their backgrounds and differing worldviews, this ends up making even more sense to the story.
Essentially, Miyazaki could have gone for the more conventional, tried and true âlove conquers allâ narrative, where the charactersâ feelings for each other would negate everything that comes between them, they would somehow find a common ground in spite of their differences, the romance would not only take over the narrative but somehow also solve all the problems in the story, and then the couple would live âhappily ever afterâ. Such an approach is not inherently bad or wrong, and is fairly common in Western media and storytelling. We can see it in films like
Fern Gully, and more recently James Cameronâs
Avatar, both of which have been compared to
Princess Mononoke. As you can probably guess, the problem is that at a certain point such a narrative can become fairly simplistic, and lack nuance.
Miyazakiâs films, by contrast, are very heavily nuanced, and are anything but simplistic. In
Princess Mononoke the characters San and Ashitaka donât help each other simply because they are âin loveâ, but because it is the right thing to do, regardless of how they might feel about each other. Yes, romantic feelings are certainly alluded to, but they are not essential to the plot, for it could have worked just as well without any romantic allusions. And ironically, this makes those allusions even more valid, even if they are unrequited. How so?
Consider that if love is essential to a given narrative, is it not relegated to being nothing more than a plot device? Again, this is quite common in Western media and storytelling, and is not inherently bad or wrong, but when it becomes a trope or cliche, I believe it is the essence of where shipping comes from. Many storytellers get caught up in this, usually without realizing it, and while a story can still work even with shipping, I believe that it usually works that much better without it.
This extends not only to Miyazakiâs handling of romance but also to other things like environmentalism, the conflict between man and nature, and the contrasting ideals of human progress vs. preserving the natural order. Movies like
Fern Gully and
Avatar, as already mentioned, handle these themes in a fairly simplistic and I would even say hamfisted manner, whereby all progress and technology is shown as being inherently âbadâ and in service to âevilâ, while everything thatâs ânaturalâ is shown to be inherently âgoodâ. Even our notions of good and evil, and right vs. wrong, are challenged by Miyazaki, with nearly all of his characters having complex motives and multiple dimensions to them, as well as understandable reasons for doing the things that they do. Rarely can any one of his characters be branded as a simple âvillainâ, and rarely is any one individual the source of conflict in his stories, again in contrast to most Western narratives.
Iâll reiterate once more, a simple, straightforward narrative is not inherently a bad thing, whether the themes being dealt with are romantic or anything else. Sometimes it is in fact the best approach. But the best stories in my opinion are usually the most nuanced, that challenge our notions of what we believe to be true, and that force us to think about what we do with our lives and what we could do differently. To that end Miyazaki introduces all manner of themes and motifs within his films that are familiar to us but shows them in a light most of us might not have considered, thus giving more dimension to our understanding of things.
âHow is any of this related to Star Wars?â you might ask. It is quite related, and you donât even have to look all that closely to see it. A very influential figure within Star Wars was very heavily inspired by the works of Miyazaki, and that figure is Dave Filoni.
This video shows the connections in some detail:
https://youtu.be/Q_4L0BbSpHo?si=04jDo6qFCnZT135w But to summarize if youâve seen any of Miyazakiâs films, especially
Princess Mononoke, I think the callbacks in Filoniâs work will be all too obvious, especially in
Star Wars Rebels. Some of the scenes in Filoniâs work look like they were taken directly from Miyazkiâs films, and many of the same themes and motifs often come up. The relationship between San and Ashitaka I would argue is very similar to the relationship between Ezra and Sabine, and not just because both couples rode wolves together.
Incidentally, Dave Filoni was also heavily involved in
Avatar: The Last Airbender, which I would also argue was at least to some degree inspired if not by Miyazaki then by Japanese anime in general. The relationship between Aang and Katara was developed with great care and was allowed to build very slowly, as opposed to simply shipping them. Likewise other characters very gradually developed as individuals and in their relationships, at times stumbling as they did so, and making mistakes, before finding their way back to the right path.
All of this is in stark contrast to George Lucas, whose character development is often very rushed at best, and at times some might say almost non-existent. So essentially, even though Lucas has said that Filoni has been âlike a sonâ to him, and I believe referred to Filoni as his âpadawanâ, I would argue that Filoni is ultimately as much a student of Miyazaki as he is of Lucas.
Again, you might ask, âWhat does all this mean for Star Wars?â It means a great many things. It means that Dave Filoni has taken Miyazakiâs lessons to heart, and can handle things like romance, as well as other kinds of relationships, quite well most of the time. Like Miyazaki he can play with romance, tease the audience with it at times even, leave the romance unrequited, and yet still have it feel satisfying. A prime example of this is the love triangle that Ahsoka was involved in with the young Separatist Senator, Lux Bonteri, and Steela Gerrera. As wary as I am of romance and as much as I despise shipping, love triangles I normally despise even more, but this one seemed to actually work. It never took over the main story, and even though Ahsokaâs feelings were ultimately not reciprocated, she still learned from the experience, and grew and developed further as a character because of it. The other characters involved in this triangle also grew and developed from their involvement, though unfortunately not all of them made it. All in all it was a good bit of storytelling and gave the audience something to consider.
When a relationship in one of Filoniâs stories does bloom into a full blown romance he also generally handles it quite well. For one Filoni is sparing with actual romance, so that when it does occur, it can be that much more appreciated. And rather than rushing or shipping it, Filoni normally takes his time to build it up. An example of this is the relationship between Kanan and Hera. Some might argue that this is perhaps the best developed romance in all of Star Wars, at least in Canon. Built up over four seasons, at times it wasnât certain whether it was a romance or a friendship, or perhaps even a professional partnership. Perhaps even the characters themselves were not certain, though it was hinted all throughout the narrative that something was going on. To this day I donât believe anyone can say definitively when it became an actual romance, and I believe Filoni did this intentionally because he wanted to be subtle, rather than making things too obvious and having the romance take over the narrative, as it usually does. When it finally did become obvious as to what was happening, it felt very much earned, in a way that is seldom accomplished in other works of fiction, including Star Wars.
The relationship between Ezra and Sabine was also fairly well written, for the most part anyway, at least in
Star Wars Rebels. Ezra was almost immediately smitten with Sabine, but being a young teenage boy, it was understandable that he would feel that way about an attractive girl. Over time he learned to see her more respectfully, as a colleague and even as part of his adopted family, not just as a pretty face. Sabine for her part found Ezra annoying at first (câmon, what teenage boy isnât?), but as he matured and she found out more about him she came to understand and respect him more, and see him as a friend and almost a brother, with there being potential for something more.
There were times when the relationship could have been better written, like in the episode âBlood Sistersâ, where Ezra was written to be a bit too immature to make Sabine look wiser. But overall, the bond between them developed fairly well; both saved one another at various times, and took risks and made sacrifices for each otherâs sake. Both reassured and comforted the other when they needed it, and it was endearing to hear their banter when they became more familiar and trusting of each other.
So why then was I so disappointed in how they were portrayed in the
Ahsoka show? The thing is, after how well their relationship was built up in
Rebels, as Iâve already mentioned it was strange to see how lackluster and uninspired their reunion was.
Within the
Ahsoka show itself Sabine was shown to be almost obsessed with finding Ezra, living in what used to be his home, watching a recording of him over and over again, and calling out his name as she woke up in the middle of the night. She even risked bringing Thrawn back into the Galaxy, which ultimately happened, just so she could see Ezra again. After all that, when she finally does encounter him, her reaction seems fairly casual, as does his, as if theyâve been apart for no more than a week, rather than 10 years. Not too much happens between them afterwards either. Like I said Ezra does not appear all that curious about what happened with Sabine, how she found him, and how it was that she was now Force sensitive. Sabine likewise did not seem curious about what had happened with Ezra, and how he had gotten away from Thrawn. And with Ezra rescued and returned home, suddenly it didnât seem as though Sabine was all that interested in him anymore, nor he all that concerned with her, though they were just as far apart as they had been at the start of the show. To be completely honest it made me wonder what the point of the whole show was. Were they just working to set up Thrawnâs return to the Galaxy? As some have said, Ezra felt like nothing more than a Macguffin in the show. Was Sabine and Ahsokaâs search for him just a plot device?
Considering how skillfully Dave Filoni had written his stories in the past, what happened in this latest project of his does not make much sense. Was he so concerned about âshippingâ and so desperate to avoid it that he inadvertently âshippedâ them in the other direction? Was there some sort of external pressure on him about how to write this story to have more of an appeal to âmodern audiencesâ? Maybe some combination of those factors?
And here Iâll add that when I say âmodern audiencesâ I donât mean that in a contemptuous sense, though you may think I do. If there is any contempt on my part it is for those in charge of telling our stories, or those in charge of those telling our stories, who do not seem to grasp these basic truths. The truth is that audiences at their core donât really change throughout the ages, only superficially so. Trends come and go but certain truths and ideals are eternal, and universal. How people relate to each other fundamentally does not change, whether they are friends, or more than friends. And deep down, I believe everyone (or nearly everyone at least) wants the same things. Nearly everyone at some point wants some kind of a connection with another human being, to know that they are not alone in the world, and to know that there is someone else who sees and understands things as they do. While this desire can certainly lead to abuse, and absolutely has, it is still innate to us and is not inherently wrong. Finding ways of connecting and relating to other people is one of the great challenges of life, but many would argue it is the most worthwhile of challenges. It may be the whole point of life if you think about it. As complex as it may be, many would argue it is what makes life worth living, and likewise makes for the best stories. Just as it may be the whole point of life many would say that is what most stories are about at their core: people trying to relate to one another.
Sadly, just as in real life, most stories unfortunately donât quite get it, and the
Ahsoka show in my opinion was an example of this, made all the sadder by the fact that Dave Filoni had done quite well with these characters up to that point. We may never know for certain what exactly went wrong and why, or if it can ever be âfixedâ at this point, but I canât help but feel curious. Maybe in the future Filoni will find a way to make it make sense, but Iâm not sure how. And to be completely honest I donât feel quite as enthusiastic to find out as I used to.
Also for the record I would like to add here that there are other factors that put me off from the show, such as Sabineâs Force sensitivity, that came about without much build up. But in this article I specifically wanted to focus on shipping because there seems to be so much misunderstanding around it.
I hope that I was able to clarify some, if not most of this misunderstanding, so that people could better appreciate what shipping is, where it comes from, as well as what it isnât. Many people today are understandably sick of shipping characters, myself included. But I hope people realize that in overcompensating for something, we often come back around into the very thing that we are overcompensating for. Or sometimes, into something even worse. This may apply to nearly every facet of life, by the way, not just shipping. Finding a happy medium in how we portray our fictional relationships may help us to better understand relationships in real life, as well as how to navigate them. Neither fictional nor actual relationships can ever be perfect but they can always be better. To this understanding then I hope that I was able to give my own modest contribution, and if nothing else I hope we can connect on that.
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2024.05.08 12:27 PlayerofLifeandGames Gooseworx says episodes will be more character focused than lore focused, what do you think this means exactly?
Just, dropping the whole âtrapped in a VR worldâ concept and just accepting the world/new life as the reality?
Or just saving the whole âsolving the mysteryâ for the final episode?
I can imagine the season finale (thereâs no way there wonât be at least a second season) pulling a whole, tease and denial. Or bait and switch. Like, it seems the answer is about to revealed, but itâs just a âThe Void was just an unfinished area and now itâs just another part of the circus, or maybe a secret bonus adventure, but still part of the digital world, and they arenât a single step closer to escaping or figuring anything out, and it kind of implies they really are just AI part of a simulation, or at least they are/were real humans, but really trapped in there, at least for another season, or twoâŚ..â
I canât imagine the whole âputting on a headset and getting stuck hereâ thing will just never be acknowledged again, even if itâs ignored until the season/series finale.
Just the idea of abandoning lore, fills me with disappointment, and breaks my heartâŚâŚ
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2024.05.08 05:06 TV_H34d My own theory on Mortal Kombat 1
Inspired by Game Theory but without the resources to make my own theory video, I've chosen to take to this subreddit to share my theory on something related to Mortal Kombat 1: the divisive discussion of Homelander's voice actor.
As anyone who's kept up with Mortal Kombat even the smallest amount will know, earlier before the game's release was a reveal trailer of the first Kombat Pack with six characters, one of which ended up being Homelander from The Boys, donning the appearance of Antony Starr's portrayal of the character in the Amazon Prime TV show. If you keep up with Mortal Kombat more, you'll know that they've had DLC characters from other IP since 2011, and each time they've gotten the original actor to reprise the character's role in the game, like how they got Sylvester Stallone for Rambo in MK11 and JK Simmons for Omni Man, who was the first DLC character to release in MK1.
The only time the development studio behind the franchise, Netherrealm Studios, has failed to have a character reprised by their original actor was when introducing the T-800 Terminator in MK11, as Arnold Schwarzenegger was busy on the scene for the new Terminator movie at the time. To make up for this, NRS hired an impressionist actor named Chris Cox who did a pretty good job of replicating the Terminator's voice, and was even chosen by Schwarzenegger himself to play the role! However, when Antony Starr was asked at a panel if he too was reprising Homelander's role like the other actors before him did for their characters, he responded with this: "Hey, have you seen Call of Duty? I voiced Call of Duty; go play that!"
Obviously, this response has been puzzling for fans, as this was a cryptic answer to say the least, but it can be assumed that it's a denial of the possibility. But is that truly the case? Well, from the theory I've concocted, I think I have the answer to that! As I mentioned before, Arnold Schwarzenegger was unable to reprise the Terminator in MK11 because he was too busy on the set for Terminator: Dark Fate, and a case could be made to say that the same is true for Antony Starr. You see, The Boys Season 4 was teased all the way back in December 2nd, 2023, and the show's Head Writer and Developer Eric Kripke, who also created the original comic books that The Boys TV Show was inspired by tweeted out last month that Season 4 had been finished with filming, but that it still needed to be redubbed for dozens of languages and several other things which would take Amazon until June 13th to finish so they could release the new season globally.
Based on that information, from the teaser back in December to the announcement by Kripke on TwitteX that the show had finished filming and editing in early April, that's at least 2-3 months of work on the part of Antony Starr for portraying Homelander, and that's not even factoring in the time it took the shoot the scenes for the teaser. However, looking back on the day the Kombat Pack trailer was released for MK1, that was all the way back in July of 2023, a whole 5 months before the Season 4 trailer was even released! In comparison, that's around twice the estimated amount of time that it took for Amazon to film Starr's performance of the character! So then, is that it? Is it really as simple to say that he of course is voicing the character because he had so much time to do it before working on the new season of the TV show? Well, not so fast.
While it is indeed a lot of time inbetween the Kombat Pack reveal and the S4 teaser, that doesnât necessarily mean Starr had that much time, because five other characters were announced for that DLC bundle, and thatâs just on the gameâs Main Roster. If you donât know, Mortal Kombat 1 has 2 rosters: the Main Roster where you pick your main fighter, and the Kameo Roster where you basically pick a sidekick you can summon in to assist you while you fight, and not only were there 5 other Main Roster characters announced alongside Homelander, but there was also another 6 Kameo fighters, one for each corresponding Main Roster character. While most of the Kameo fighters have basically no dialogue, they do still need a voice actor to make them make noises so they sound like theyâre actually fighting, and some of them do actually have dialogue to go through. Then of course, all the other Main Roster fighters have plenty of dialogue to go through as well!
This isnât just limited to their banter with other characters, of which by the time Homelander releases for the game there will be 2 and a half dozen to go through, including himself, but each character has to make noises; grunts, groans, panting, etc., as well as dialogue for a mechanic called âBrutalitiesâ where they can deliver one of a few pre-recorded one-liners. They also have to scream a lot in agony as they get brutally killed by Fatalities. On top of all of that, each character has an individual Tower Ending, where they have to deliver approximately 80 seconds worth of dialogue. Needless to say, itâs a LOT to go through, and Netherrealm Studios has to go through that SIX TIMES OVER for the Kombat Pack! Thatâs all gone so far without even mentioning the release schedule they have! You see, soon after the Kombat Pack was dropped, several people well-known in the Mortal Kombat community were sent and email with a rough timeline of when the characters would release; this included a handful of content creators like unCAGEDgamez.
Even in the last moments of the Kombat Pack video, they have the list of characters in the order they would release, which is the order theyâve been releasing in, and Homelander was listed as second-to-last and set to release in Spring. This likely will end up being the very tail end of Spring right before the new season of The Boys comes out on the 13th. What Iâm getting at here is that NRS has had a lot of work to balance with getting the acting done for these characters, especially if theyâve been having them all voiced in the same order of release; there simply wouldnât be enough time for Starr to voice the game character before acting in the TV show. Even if he started working on voice acting immediately after he was done acting for the show, he would barely have 2 months to go through ALL the work heâd need to do that I talked about. Even if he got it done in record time, it still would need to be compiled and integrated into the game, which would still take lots of time for the department responsible for those duties with the audio.
In short, the timeframe is just too short to be able to make it work for Antony Starr to be the voice actor for Homelander in Mortal Kombat 1, so it isnât going to be him. But that just leaves one question: who IS going to voice him!? If not Homelander, who else could there be, right? Well for a moment, it was believed to be the voice actor for another character thatâs been in the game since the beginning, that being Andrew Bowen who voices Johnny Cage. Why? Well, after the Official First Look at Homelander was released on Sunday, Bowen made a post on Instagram that read as follows: âBeen looking forward to this f**ker finally dropping, since we recorded it.â Obviously with that choice of words, everyone believed that he was voicing the character. This topic is covered in more detail by MK Youtuber Dynasty in his video which Iâll leave the link to. Itâs also in the comments of that video that Dynasty says that Bowen later confirmed to in fact NOT be voicing the character soon after his previous Instagram post blew up.
So that already rules out 2 candidates for Homelanderâs voice actor, soâŚwhat then? Are we simply meant to wait until the character finally releases to learn who it is? Well, perhaps, but perhaps not. You see, thereâs one more candidate here: Chris Cox. Like I said, heâs an impressionist actor who was already chosen to voice Terminator in Mortal Kombat 11, but why would I list him here now? Well in the credits for MK1, Chris Cox is listed among the English Voice talents, along with JK Simmons and John Cena who reprised their roles of Omni Man and Peacemaker, but nowhere could I find exactly what role he plays in the game. The only listed cast role he has in the game is IMDb, and that does say that he portrays Homelander, but again, that is the ONLY website with information on his cast role in the game; without more evidence to support that claim, I just canât be fully confident in it.
Furthermore, when Alex Bittner, a Senior Animator for Netherrealm who worked on MK1 was asked if they were allowed to reveal who Homelanderâs voice actor was, he had this to say: âGiven how people on the internet can be, I think itâs his choice if he wants that spotlight or not.â While this statement does support the theory of Antony Starr not reprising the role, it neither supports nor contradicts the idea of Chris Cox taking on the role currently. Though if it was him and he truly is refraining from announcing it out of fear for how the Internet would respond to that information, I fully understand that; there are plenty of unstable people across various social media platforms who expel gratuitous toxicity on things they may just not agree to or prefer, sometimes if not often hurling insults and threats at people just because they have an opinion they disagree with. In that aspect, I can certainly understand if Chris Cox is just trying to keep this under wraps for as long as possible to avoid the inevitable toxic reactions to him being the voice behind Homelander instead of Antony Starr, no matter the circumstances or performance, which I have no doubt will be amazing based off of hat weâve seen so far from the First Look Trailer.
But then again, none of this is truly confirmed, (except for Andrew Bowen not being the voice of Homelander,) so who knows who it could be? Maybe itâs someone who hasnât been discussed or brought up yet, be they an actor we donât know or someone else in the gameâs main cast. Maybe it IS Chris Cox just keeping quiet for as long as possible. Or maybe this whole thing has just been one big dupe on Antony Starrâs part, and heâs just been convincing us he wonât be doing it for the longest time to distract us until the moment he swoops in and reveals that this has been his plan all along, and itâs all just been one big act to further prove how incredible of an actor he is. BUUUT HEY, thatâs JUST a theory! A GAAAAAME THEORY!!! Thanks for reading!!
TL:DR, I'm highly confident Antony Starr's not gonna voice Homelander in Mortal Kombat, but it JUUUUST MIGHT be Chris Cox, an impressionist actor who did another DLC character in Mortal Kombat when they didn't get the OG actor, but who knows, lol?
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2024.05.08 03:06 Trash_Tia I was part of a junior detective gang in a small town with no monsters. So, we decided to make our own.
When I was ten, I formed a junior detective squad.
Mom bought me the entire box set of What's New Scooby Doo, and I was inspired to start my very own detective gang. I held auditions outside the gymnasium at recess (serious enquiries only) after a number of kids tried to apply for the role of Scooby Doo despite me reiterating I was not interested in playing make believe.
When I was laughed at in class, I made posters strictly asking for SERIOUS wannabe detectives, even going as far as using my Momâs printer to make flyers, sticking them all over the school.
Auditions were simple. I asked them to solve a simple riddle.
Whoever impressed me got to sign their name down, and Iâd get back to them.
I spent three days sifting through kids who definitely had charm, but they lacked the intelligence of a junior detective. Most kids were only auditioning to make fun of me, anyway.
Still, though, I didn't give up.
My flyers had five requirements:
1). You had to be smart.
2). You were not allowed to be a scaredy cat.
3). You had to accept your inevitable death at the hands of our townâs evil villains.
4). You had to have a fully registered driving licence (I quickly changed this to a bike).
5). You cannot have a criminal record.
(I later scribbled this one out, writing over it. *âYou cannot have any tardies.â
Narrowing the applicants down to three kids, all of whom failed to share my enthusiasm for solving cases. The kids I picked didn't even know how to make plans, and when I invited them to my house, they stole my Momâs necklace.
I didn't even need to solve the mystery of who stole Momâs necklace. The girl was wearing it at school. I punched her in the face, and was immediately sent to the principalâs office. When I was being given the mother all lectures, the door quietly opened, a head peeking through.
It was Ben Callows, a freckly kid with overgrown brown hair hanging in his eyes. Ben really needed a haircut.
He was always wearing the exact same baseball cap, and I found myself wondering if it was permanently glued to his head, stuck on top of unruly brown curls practically matted to his forehead.
In class, Ben was also known as Bloody Ben. In the second grade, the boy had a nosebleed in the middle of a spelling test, bleeding all over his paper.
It's not like he didn't try and detach himself from the name.
Ben brought in Digimon cards, so kids would call him Digimon Ben instead.
Then he âaccidentallyâ spilled yoghurt down his shirt in hopes we would call him Yoghurt Ben. But no. The kids in our class were relentless in reminding him of his name. No matter what he did, he was still Bloody Ben, and when anything related to blood came up in class, fifteen pairs of eyes would swivel to him, like he had invented the concept of bleeding.
I feared the nickname would follow him to junior high.
Ben didn't wait to be let in. He didn't even knock, striding in with his arms folded. Over the years, Bloody Ben, had definitely soured his personality.
He smiled rarely, and when he did smile, someone was falling over or hurting themselves.
Which definitely strengthened the claims of him being a sociopath.
The rumor mill was churning, with the latest claiming Bloody Ben killed his cat. That wasn't true. Benâs cat was seventeen with cancer, and that was why he was sobbing all the way through reading time.
According to Ellie Daly, however, Ben had killed and dissected his kitty, and buried her in his Momâs flowers.
Now, my principal did not like being interrupted, especially when she was in the middle of screaming at me.
Principal Marrow was old old (like, thirty, in my ten year old mind) stick thin like a pencil, and always wore the same stained sweater.
She used to be pretty, but I was convinced she had kissed a frog and been cursed. After our old principal suffered a stroke, she stepped in as a temporary replacement, and since becoming principal, had banned my favorite book series, colored shoe laces, and hamburger helper, even officiating a uniform.
(vomit green shorts and a tee, and plain white sneakers).
Kids were convinced she was a witch, and I kind of believed it.
Principal Marrowâs whole existence was built on sucking the fun out of school.
I was already reprimanded for my mystery gang flyers.
Her office smelled of peppermint and she was definitely sneaking sips of whisky in her coffee cup. I could see the bottle sticking out of the trash.
She straightened up, folding her arms across her chest, squinty eyes narrowing at the boy. I had spent the whole time she was lecturing me trying not to cry, my fists bunched in my lap.
I took the distraction as the perfect opportunity to swipe at my eyes, allowing myself to breathe.
Ben Callows was her victim now.
I was right. The woman's voice was like a thunderclap in my ears.
âYou better have a good reason for not knocking, young man.â
Ben wasn't fazed by her tone. âYou took my Switch two weeks ago,â he said, âI want it back, or Iâm telling my Mom.â
At first, I thought I'd misheard him.
No, I was pretty sure he'd threatened our principal.
I swore I heard all of the breath sucked from the room.
âI'm sorry,â Principal Marrow cleared her throat. Her soft tone was dangerous.
She wasn't being nice. The lady was about to explode.
I could see visible veins straining in her temples, her right eye twitching.
It was straight out of a cartoon.
âDid you forget something, Ben?â
Ben sighed, like she was inconveniencing him.
He held out his hand. âPlease can I have my Switch back? It counts as stolen property. Give it back, or I'm telling my Mom.â
The kid put so much emphasis on the word please, I couldn't resist a smile.
I think our principal was too shocked to get angry.
âGet out.â She said, firmly. âI don't have your gaming device.â
âIt's in your drawer.â Ben nodded to her desk, âUnder your divorce papers and the restraining order ordered by Jake Willow, the seventeen year old boy you've been having math âtutoring sessionsâ with.â He quoted the air, his gaze lazily rolling to me. âTutoringâ
Principal Marrow went deathly pale, her eyes darkening.
âBenjamin Callowsââ
âThe school already knows about the restraining order, but your uncle is the head of the Board of Education, so all you get is a slap on the wrist and a warning to leave the boy alone."
Ben continued, and I found myself mesmerised by his words. He was a natural, his expression stoic, mouth curved with satisfaction that wasn't quite a smile. âHowever.â He held up his phone, pulling it away at the exact moment the teacher attempted to grab it. âYou were outside Jake Willowâs house at 6:12am, drunk, and trying to climb through his window, which, I think violates the restraining order, does it not?â
Ben pretended to think real hard, his gaze flicking to the ceiling.
âI mean, I'm just a kid, right?â His mouth curled into the hint of a smirk
âWhat do I know, huh?â
Principal Marrowâs expression twisted, her lip wobbling.
âMr Callows, remove yourself from my office, or I am calling your father.â
Leaning comfortably against the door, Benâs lip twitched.
âWhy? Are you planning on telling my Dad about your relations with a teenage boy, or will I have to tell him instead?â
I was enthralled, and fully disgusted, making a move to inch away from the woman.
âBut it doesn't end there.â Ben continued. He straightened up, taking slow, intimidating steps towards the woman's desk. âYou don't even want Jake, do you? Because, once upon a time, you were in love with his father. Jason Willow. You despised him for rejecting you, so you decided to defile his son.â Ben leaned over the principalâs desk, slipping his hand into the drawer, and pulling out his switch.
Painfully slowly.
She stood there, speechless, her shoulders trembling.
Ben smiled, and I found myself liking it.
âThank you!â He said, waving the console in her face. Ben mimed locking his mouth and throwing away the key.
âMy lips are sealed.â
Benâs half lidded eyes found mine. âAre ya coming, Panda?â
I forgot my own nickname.
Panda.
I wore my Momâs eyeliner because I thought it looked cool.
It did not.
Finding my breath, I snapped out of it.
Jumping up, I followed him out of the office, and when the two of us were safely on the hallway, I burst into hysterical giggles. âHow did you know all of that?!â I whisper- shrieked.
Ben surprised me with a splutter. âWait. You believed me?â
Something very cold trickled down my spine.
I stopped walking. âYou lied?â
He shrugged. âI had a dig around her office before she caught me a few days ago,â Ben swung his arms, a smile curling on his mouth. âThere's no restraining order, but there is prescription anti-psychosis medicine, and an extremely detailed story on her laptop about a teachestudent romance, which I presume is a self insert.â
Ben shot me a sickly grin. âThe school refused to make her condition public.â
He prodded at his own cotton shirt embroidered with the school emblem.
âWhy do you think she's made all these dumb rules? The woman is a certified Looney Tune.â
I nodded slowly. âWait. What about Jake and his dad?â
âI made them up.â
I choked out a laugh. âAnd⌠the video?â
Ben walked faster, pulling out his phone and shoving it in my face. The video was real. Principal Marrow was walking around in circles, draped in her nightgown. âIt's her own house,â he explained. âShe locked herself out.â
Nodding slowly, I was in awe. Bloody Ben was kind of fucking amazing.
âBut the restraining order isn't real.â
Ben raised a brow, coming to an abrupt halt. It was his smile that cemented his place in my gang. His lack of empathy for a woman he had gaslit into being a disgusting human being. Ben Callows wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but he fascinated me. Maybe for the wrong reasons. âHer filing cabinets are filled with tinned cat food, Panda,â he said with an exaggerated sigh, âIâm not psychic, but I thiiiiink weâll be okay.â
I turned to him, unable to stop myself jumping up and down with excitement.
âWill you be my first?!â
Ben inclined his head. âWill I be your what?â
I shook my head. âSorry. I mean, will you join my mystery gang?â
The boyâs eyes lit up, and I shoved him playfully.
âTo solve real cases,â I corrected myself. âNot make them up.â
Ben wore a real, proper smile. But there was something in his eyes, a darkness that was so hollow and polluted and wrong, I pretended not to see it for the sake of his smarts and intellect. âWell, if you insist, sure!â Ben held out his hand, and I shook it. I'll be your first.â
We found our second member, who was, ironically, looking for her glasses under the table in class. Lucy Prescott, the quiet girl, was born to be with us.
The class eraser went missing, and she found it in the blink of an eye.
When questioned, Lucyâs face turned as red as her hair. âI asked everyone in the class and followed the clues to the last person who had it,â she pointed to Chase Simpson. âWhich was Chase, who was throwing it at Marcus Calvin.â
Twisting around in my chair, I aimed to get Benâs attention. But he was already looking at me, chin resting on his fist, eyes ignited with excitement.
The two of us cornered Lucy after class, and when she motioned for us to get back, I dragged Ben (who was a little too excited) to my side.
Lucy looked mildly horrified when I said, dangerous cases, though her expression pricked with intrigue.
She agreed, her gaze lingering on Ben, cheeks smouldering.
Our last two members were a surprise.
Violet Evergreen was what you would call popular on the middle school hierarchy. Not just because her mother was the mayor, but because Violet could get away with murder. The girl refused to wear the school uniform, coloring a single purple streak in her hair to cement herself as the it girl.
She was also one of the girls who started the Bloody Ben rumor.
Ben, Lucy, and I were sitting on the grass during recess, trying to come up with a name for our detective service, when Violet came storming over, hands planted on her hips. She was copying how her mother held herself during town meetings.
âWhat are you doing?â Violet demanded.
Lucy opened her mouth to answer, Ben nudging her to shut up.
âMaking a mystery gang.â I told her. âWhy?â
Violet inclined her head. âOh.â She folded her arms. âWell, can I join?â
Ben stood up, stepping in front of the girl. Violet didn't move, stubbornly standing her ground. âSure.â Ben flashed a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. He stepped closer to her, his smile widening. âIf you can pass the test.â
Violetâs lip curled. She took a single step back. âWhat kind of test?â
Ben nodded to me. âMeet us at the swimming pool at 8pm.â
To my surprise, Violet nodded. âDo I need to bring anything?â
âNope!â
8pm. The four of us met outside the local swimming pool.
Violet was already on the other side of the fence, waving.
âHey guys!â
I noticed Benâs expression, his eyes darkening, lip curling.
Still though, he maintained positivity, vaulting over the fence.
âYou made it!â
I followed him, helping Lucy, who was immediately freaking out. I didn't blame her. The pool looked cold and dark, a hollow oblivion carved into the ground.
Ben and Violet stood on the edge, the two of them shoulder to shoulder.
Violet Evergreen was braver than I thought.
Standing with her arms at her sides, Violet's hands clenched into fists.
âWhat's the test?â Violet said, her gaze glued to bleeding black depths.
âI don't know,â Ben murmured, his voice teetering on a giggle. He leaned forwards, arms spread out. âI didn't think you'd actually come meet us.â
Violet hummed, stretching out her leg, teasing it across the surface. âWas that the test?â
The boy leaned back. I caught the glint of a grin under the floodlights. âNah.â
Before I knew what was happening, he shoved Violet into the pool. The girl didn't scream or shriek, she just hit the surface, sinking into pitch dark nothing.
âSink or swim,â Ben said in a low murmur, when Violetâs head bobbed under water. I could see her shadow under the surface, imagining the freezing cold depths pulling her down.
âDrown, and you can't join us.â
It was so quiet, suddenly. The three of us staring into rippling water.
A minute passed, and my tummy started to twist.
âFuck.â Benâs expression stayed stoic. I wasn't expecting him to say a bad word.
He cocked his head. âI thought she could swim.â
I hit him, holding in a cry. âYou need to get our parents!â
But he didn't listen to me, taking a single step, and dropping into the pool.
I fell to my knees, scanning the water.
Lucy was crying. âAre they dead?!â she shrieked.
âShhh!â I was watching two shadows lingering under the water.
Violet broke through. I expected her to be crying, but her expression was unwavering. She was silent. I thought the splashing underneath her was her legs trying and struggling to tread water, before Lucy shoved me. Hard.
âPanda! What do we do?!â
Looking closer, Violet was perfectly still, her gaze on the sky.
While she shoved Ben under the water, drowning him.
Violetâs eyes sparkled, and somehow, I knew she belonged in my gang.
Her gaze found mine, glinting with that darkness, that poisonous streak I found myself drawn to. It was a starving, insatiable need to understand a fractured mind. Know your enemy.
âDo you want to see if Benâs a witch?â Violet asked me, her tone something else entirely. This girl did not make sense, using barely her finger to drown Ben Callows. I knew she was wrong.
I knew there was something loose, something unlocked and unbridled and drowning inside her mind and heart.
But I wanted more of her. I wanted Violet Evergreen in my detective gang.
I think that is why I stood there, frozen.
When the thrashing stopped, Ben broke through.
He wasn't coughing or spluttering, his head inclined. âYou didn't drown.â
Violet climbed out of the pool, offering her hand. âAnd you're not a witch.â
He declined her hand, taking the steps instead.
I asked Violet in a shaky voice. I was trembling with terror, but I was excited.
Exhilarated.
âViolet, will you join my gang?â
She didn't answer me until we were sharing hot cocoa in my house.
I told Mom we fell in the pool, and she believed me. I should have told her that my friends were sociopaths, and I was kind of maybe in love. Violet sipped her cocoa, nodding with a smile I didn't recognise. Violet never smiled at school.
Well, she did. But it was always the prick of a cruel smirk.
I don't think her smile was genuine, but she was definitely enjoying herself.
Our last member came to us, instead of finding him.
Jules Howell, a straggly brunette pushed his way in front of me in the lunch line. I didn't really know the kid.
He sat at the back of the classroom and slept through most of class. I did like his accent though.
Jules had moved from Melbourne in the second grade. He didn't talk much.
When he did, I found myself enveloped in his voice, which sounded like water to me, a bleeding cadence to his tone.
Jules piled his plate with fries, smiling widely at the lunch ladies.
âI saw you last night.â He murmured through that perfectly moulded grin.
âSaw me where?â
âAt the pool,â Jules said. âYou, Bloody Ben, Violet Evergreen, and that Lucy girl. You were doing a suiciding pact.â
âThat's not what we were doing.â I said, âWhat's a suiciding pact?â
âWhen you kill yourself together.â Jules said. âI saw it in a scary movie my Mom was watching.â
I grabbed a fork. âWe weren't doing that.â
His eyes were strange when I took the time to notice them. The excited gleam had fizzled out. Julesâs hands tightened around his tray. âThen what were you doing?â
I didn't reply, making my way over to our usual table. Ben was already waving me over, Violet and Lucy holding up the flyers we were making.
THE REDBLOOD DETECTIVES.â
Do YOU need our help? We can find/solve anything! Contact us on the number below. (We take donations!)
When I bothered turning around, Jules was lost in the crowd of kids.
We were on our first official case, searching for Mrs Lakeâs missing mail, when Jules appeared seemingly out of nowhere. And with him, a golden retriever puppy he introduced as Arlo.
It took a dog jumping up at them for Violet and Ben to find their real smiles, their real selves slowly seeping through these facades they had built around themselves. Ben dropped to a crouch, ruffling the dog's ears, his smile faint.
âWho's a good boy?â He chuckled.
Arlo didn't move, tail wagging, eyes bright.
Ben motioned the dog towards him, but Arlo stayed put.
Jules joined usâŚquietly.
I don't remember asking him, or even him asking me.
He just became part of us, side by side with Arlo.
We soon came to quickly realize that our town was boring.
There were no monsters or thieves, or soul sucking demons. No criminals or serial killers. Not even one missing person. We did, however, get calls about missing cats. I turned eleven years old, patiently waiting for a murder or a kid going missing. But there was nothing.
All we did was chase cats, and the occasional dog. Maybe a budgie if we were lucky. Twelve years old, our detective club became a joke.
The five of us (and Arlo hiding under the table) were trying to pinpoint Mrs Tracy's lost hamster, when three girls came over, dumping their soda all over us.
We watched crime shows for inspiration on catching killers.
Benâs favorite crime was one that happened in the 80âs in our town.
2 girls murdered.
Their intestines stuffed into envelopes and mailed to family members.
âThat's what we should be solving,â he told me one night, âNot missing cats.â
Thirteen years old, we lay in Violetâs backyard under the cruel glare of the summer sun. We called it working and didn't like to admit it was hanging out, or that we were even friends. However.
That didn't stop us growing closer.
Even if it wasn't quite the way Iâd expected.
I proposed a plan, standing up, wobbling a little off balance.
âI've got it.â I said, my voice kinda slurry from Violetâs special summer cocktail, which was just random alcoholic beverages we found, thrown into a blender, and diluted with water.
The town wasn't taking us seriously.
So, we were going to make our own mysteries.
I ordered a full-scale assault on our small town. One that they could not ignore. Ben stamped on Mrs Masonâs flowers, and Lucy threw mud pies at people's cars. Jules trashed the high school gym, and Violet and I spray painted threats and warnings on every store window. Now, this did cause panic, but also an official curfew.
Thirty minutes before curfew, we met in our usual spot, deep in the forest near the lake. Ben yelled at me when I was three minutes late. He was real passionate about finding a real mystery.
âYou're late.â Ben was sitting on a rock waving a stick in Arloâs face.
The dog still wasn't going near him, whining softly.
I took my place, muttering an apology. âI had to lie to my Mom.â
Violet, sitting with her legs crossed, idly digging her manicure into the dirt, suggested we buy mannequins and masquerade them as dead bodies, hanging them from the school rafters.
Lucy, who had slowly grown out of her shell, becoming a lot more outspoken, nudged her. âThat's a stupid idea.â
The girl groaned, leaning into her. âUrgh. You're right.â
Jules was the only energetic one, standing on the tireswing.
He jumped down, definitely twisting his ankle.
But his smile only widened, kind of like he enjoyed being in pain.
âWhy don't we pretend to be kidnapped?â He said, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over blondish curls growing out. Jules did a dramatic spin, his eyes shining. âWe can âgo missingâ for like a week, and then when our parents are really scared, we can turn up, and tell them we escaped a kidnapping.â His lips split into a grin.
âAnd then we solve our own kidnapping!â
Ben awkwardly patted Arlos head, only for the dog to pull away with a snort.
âI like it,â he murmured. âI'm in.â
Julesâs idea was stupid.
But.
It was worth a shot.
The five of us agreed to meet the morning after with enough food and supplies for a week. Then we were going to hike to the next town, and hide out for a week. It was an almost perfect plan, using ourselves as victims of our own mystery.
Packing as much as I could, I kissed my mother goodbye (I told her my pack was for a picnic) and set off to the rendezvous we agreed on.
When I arrived, I was the first one there. I checked and re-checked my pack.
I waited ten minutes, unable to contain my excitement.
Then 20 minutes.
It was getting kind of cold.
One hour.
I sat on a rock for enough time to watch the sky change color.
When the clouds were orange, I stood up and stumbled back home. They had gone without me. Mom lectured me when I got home, and I stuck to the plan of pretending my friends had gone missing, even if I they had betrayed me.
Ben said he'd text me when he arrived at the redervous. I at least expected him to text an explanation, but there was nothing. I was in the dark, and after three days of nothing, our town finally began to take us seriously.
âOur children have been kidnapped!â The adults were screaming.
Mom was crying in the kitchen, praying to a god I knew she didn't believe in that I wasn't taken next. I was interviewed and stuck with the exact same story I came up with when I was with the others. Our plan was to return after a week, claiming to be locked up in a dark room with a masked man.
I told my Mother and the other parents that I didn't know where my friends were, repeating the same thing over and over again until I was tongue tied.
âI saw them the day before they went missing, and⌠yes, everything seemed okay.â I slowly sipped my glass of milk provided, looking the sheriff directly in the eyes.
âNo, I didn't notice anything suspicious, sheriff. Yes, I'm sure, sir. No, they didn't tell me anything.â
It was Benâs mother who shattered my mask.
âDid I know about⌠what?â I whispered.
Something warm filled the back of my mouth, foul tasting milk erupting up my throat. I leaned forward, trying to look Mrs Callows in the eye. âNo, I⌠I didn't know about BenâsâŚcondition.â
Mrs Callows was screaming at me about her sonâs troubled past when I barfed all over myself, my eyes burning.
In the privacy of my own room, I sobbed until I couldn't breathe.
I tried to tell Mom, but we had come so close.
One more day, and the others would be back.
But that day came. I sat cross legged at our usual spot, which was now covered in police tape. I waited for their thudding footsteps, their laughter congratulating each other for coming up with a great plan. I waited, my face buried in my knees, for my friends.
It was dark when my phone vibrated, and I'd fallen asleep.
I wasn't scared, forcing myself to my feet.
âWhere are you?â Mom yelled down the phone.
âComing home now.â I muttered.
âSorry.â I paused, holding my breath against a cry. âMom.â I broke down, forcing my fist into my mouth to hide my squeak. âMommy, did they come back?â
Mom didn't reply for a moment.
âI'm so sorry, baby.â She whispered, ending the call.
I took my time walking home that night.
There were no stars in the sky.
When a hand clamped over my mouth, I could smell him.
When he dragged me back, stabbing a kitchen knife into my throat, I stared at the sky and looked for stars. His arms were warm around me, violently pulling me into the back of a pickup truck. The pickup truck he'd said he was bringing.
It was his grandfather's, and he could just about drive it.
Hitting the backseat, my body was numb, my thoughts in a whirlwind.
The pickup flew forwards, and I remembered how to move.
I rolled off the seat, my hands pinned behind my back.
Twisting around, blinking in the dim, I could feel something warm, something seeping across upholstery seats. Blood.
It was everywhere, sticky on my hands and wet on my face when I struggled to get up. I was lying in someone's blood.
A scream clawed its way out of my throat.
The pickup flew over a pothole, and something dropped off the seat.
Arloâs leash.
I screamed again, this time his name gritted between my teeth.
I didn't stop screaming until the jerking movement stopped. The doors opened, pale light hitting me in the face.
Flashlight. Warm arms wrapped around me, pulling me from the car, and then, pulling me by my hair, into our old tree house. It was always our secret place, our saving grace on the edge of town.
The flickering candlelight caught me off guard, illuminating my surroundings.
Two bodies slumped over each other, lying in stemming red.
I felt suffocated, like I was going to die. I screamed, and that warm hand cradled my mouth again, gagging my cries.
Violet and Jules.
There was something wrong with them. And it was only when I forced myself to look closer, when I realized their insides had been carved out, heart, stomach, everything, pulled out.
There was paper on the floor.
No, not paper. Envelopes.
Envelopes stuffed with gore, bright red leaking through white.
Shuffling back, my brain was too slow to react, while my body was trying to vault to my feet, only to be violently pulled back by my ponytail.
I felt his fingers twining around my hair, revelling in my screams.
With another tug, my head was forced forwards.
Orange candlelight felt almost homely, this time lighting up a third body.
Lying on their back, curled up, pooling scarlet dried into the floorboards, their wrists restricted with duct-tape.
I could feel blood underneath me, sticky, a congealing paste.
âDo you know what happened on October 3rd, 1987, in our town?â
Lucy Prescott stood over me, her arms folded across her chest.
I managed to shake my head, when she grabbed Benâs legs, dragging him under the candlelight. I dazedly watched her stroke the blade of a carving knife, the teeth already stained scarlet. âThe intestine murders.â Lucy hummed, tracing the knife down the floorboards.
âA man murdered two high school girls, carving out their insides and sending their pieces to their loved ones.â
Lucy's eyes found mine, ignited in a familiar gleam. I saw it in Principal Marrowâs office. Then the swimming pool. The cafeteria. âIt was the sheriff's only murder case, Panda. Ever since then, our town has been boring. There's no mysteries to solve. Nothing to find.â
The girl jumped to her feet, retrieving a blood stained envelope.
She held it up, a smile curved on her lips. The girl turned around, and I heard a horrific squelching sound. Lucy held up a bright red sausage, ripped into it, and slipped it into the white paper.
âBut I can change that.â she said, in a giggle.
âI can create a real serial killer, who we can hunt down together.â
Lucy stabbed the blade into the floor, laughing.
âOr! I can bring a fan-favorite back! I can bring the intestine killer back from the dead!â
Her gaze flicked to the others. âThere are casualties, of course. The story is, I was kidnapped with Ben, Violet, and Jules. The scary intestine killer killed them, and I managed to get away.â
Lucy shuffled over to me, her eyes wide. âThen! He came back and struck again!â
With those words, she shoved me onto my back.
âFirst he took Violet,â Lucy hummed, tracing the blade down my shirt.
âThen⌠Jules.â I squeezed my eyes shut, pulling at the restraints around my wrists. âThen Ben.â her breath tickled my cheek. âAnd finally⌠Panda.â
Lucy lifted the knife, and I accepted my death.
Until a low rumble in my ears.
Shouting.
Thundering footsteps, followed by the pitter-patter of paws.
âLucy!â The sheriff was screaming, and the girl stumbled to her feet, the knife slipping from her fingers. Lucy stumbled, tripping over Benâs body.
âHe got away!â she shrieked. âHeâŚhe killed them! Oh, god, please help me!â
I don't think Lucy even realised the traces she'd left behind.
The blood slick on her fingers, her manic, grinning smile full of mania.
I was looking for stars when an officer crouched over me.
I couldn't understand what she was saying.
Her voice was white noise.
âRachel? Hey, try and sit up, honey. You Mom is on her way.â
Instead of listening to her, I curled into myself.
My gaze found Arlo sticking his nose in Benâs hair, trying to nudge the boy awake.
I didn't fully register the next few days.
They went by in a confusing blur.
Part of me tried to eat, and spent hours with my head pressed against the toilet seat.
I could still see the slithering, scarlet remains of my friends every time I closed my eyes. There was so much red, soaked in that hunting orange light.
Blood that I could still see, a starless sky that stretched on forever.
Weeks went by.
Then months.
I think I turned 14. I wasn't sure. I didn't feel alive anymore.
I stood at my friendâs funerals with a single rose I dropped into their casket.
Violetâs mother was quick to cover the whole thing up.
Lucy's plan didn't work after all.
Our townâs murder cases stayed stagnant at one.
It's been four years since my friends were murdered by our âVelmaâ.
Now, at seventeen, Mom asked if I wanted to visit Lucy in juvie.
I'm not even upset or angry anymore.
I want to know why.
Ben picked me up. Arlo was at his side, wagging his tail.
Ben wasâŚdifferent. He'd dumped his baseball cap and gotten a haircut, swapping his old wardrobe of drab colors for an attempt at changing style.
That day, he looked awkward in a short sleeved tee and shorts.
At school, Ben is no longer Bloody Ben.
Now, he is Survivor Ben.
Iâm still Panda.
Every time I was with him, I felt like my soul was being sucked out.
Guilt so deep, so fucking painful, I lost my breath.
I live knowing that I immediately assumed it was him that day.
Ben was barely alive when I found him. Lucy had started to carve into him before remembering she needed me.
After admitting it to him, his lips formed a small smile.
âCan I tell you a secret?â He said to me, at sixteen.
"Yeah?"
Whatever he was going to say, Ben never told me.
Presently, I nodded at the dogâs new collar.
âPeppa Pig themed?â
The boy shrugged, ruffling Arloâs ears. âFYI, he chose it.â
âIt's cute.â I said. âVery⌠chic.â
We didn't speak the whole ride, but Ben did entangle his hand in mine.
We spent half an hour outside the detention centre. I was panicking, and Ben was trying to hide that he was panicking. In the end, we joined hands, and strode through the doors together.
Lucy greeted us with a wide smile. Just as psychotic.
The orange jumpsuit suited her, though I had zero idea why.
âHey Arlo!â she giggled at the dog, and Ben pulled the pup onto his lap.
âBen.â She sighed. âI wish I got to finish you. I would have loved to solve the mystery of your gutted corpse.â
Benâs smile was wry. âNice to see you too.â
Behind a glass screen, I asked Lucy one simple question.
âWhy?â
Lucy didn't reply. Or she did, but it was just nonsensical bullshit.
But there was one thing she said has stuck with me, chilling me to the core.
I am fucking terrified of Lucy. Of what's she's done, and what she's capable of doing.
It was a throwaway line, and I don't even think Ben noticed.
Or he did, and was in denial.
Lucy's smile was wide, her eyes empty pools of nothing.
The exact same glint in Benâs eyes.
Julesâs eyes.
Violetâs eyes.
Like something was gnawing away at their psyche, twisting and contorting it, filling them with darkness, poison, that was so vast, so endless, I had craved it as a child. I still don't know what it is.
But I'm going to find it.
Lucy's laugh was shrill, and next to me, Ben didn't move a muscle.
âI don't even wear glasses!â
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2024.05.07 09:52 Digitised_Doofus Just some cute ship dynamics I can imagine as Prichael âcoz Iâm bored
Reposting this from a comment of mine, jsyk.
Michael is sweet and bubbly yet also a bit naive kid-at-heart, and Prince is the more grounded voice of reason thatâs there to bring Michael back down to earth. Like the sun/moon lesbian dynamic but male.
Prince is playful and flirty while Michael is shy and nervous. Prince teases Michael because he loves his incredibly flustered and panicked reactions.
Altho, do keep in mind that the two dynamics above are prone to switching roles every now and then(since I see them as switches)
They both are fairly troubled and emotional. They can relate to each otherâs struggles, theyâre very open to each other and are always there to support and comfort each other in though times.
Both are mischievous pranksters, and theyâre both very affectionate/touchy-feely and protective of each other.
Unfortunately, due to the judgemental press surrounding both of them, the public viewing them as enemies/rivals, their aforementioned traumas (especially from past relationships), and them both being raised in religious households to believe that homosexuality is sinful and being somewhat sexually confused/in denial, their relationship starts out pretty tumultuous and feels a little forbidden. But they do eventually find happiness and itâs the best relationship they couldâve ever asked for. Itâs a slow burn. Theyâre like Romeo and Juliet, but gay, yknow?
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2024.05.06 04:48 Trash_Tia I'm part of a junior detective gang in a small town with no monsters. So, we decided to make our own.
When I was twelve, I formed a detective gang.
Just like Scooby Doo.
Stella Howett was my Daphne.
I found her searching the principalâs office for her confiscated phone.
Ben Callows was my Fred, who at first refused because Scooby Doo is a kids show! But he did join for the free cookies.
I found my Velma, who was, ironically, looking for her glasses. Lucy Bridget, the quiet girl who was born to be my Velma. In the summer, we trailed around our town looking for mysteries.
But our town was boooooooring.
There were no monsters or thieves, or soul sucking demons. All of our cases turned out to be missing cats.
So, inside our local diner, drinking my favorite milkshake, I proposed a plan.
We were going to make our own mysteries.
Stella stamped on Mrs Masonâs flowers, and Ben threw mud pies at people's cars. But people still weren't taking us seriously. I met up with the others at our usual place. âWe need to do something really scary.â I announced.
Ben stood up, waving a stick.
âWhy don't we pretend to be kidnapped?â He said, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his hair. âWe can âgo missingâ for like a week, and then when our parents are really scared, we can turn up, and tell them we escaped a kidnapping.â His lips split into a grin.
âAnd then we solve our own kidnapping!â He laughed, lounging on the tire swing.
âYou're stupid.â Stella chased him teasingly, Lucy laughing.
Benâs idea was stupid.
We went back to solving missing cat cases, and I started watching more adult crime shows, which were way better than Scooby Doo. My favorite was the case of the intestine killer, who scooped out the intestines of three girls, and then mailed parts of them to their loved ones. Three weeks later, I was covered in blood, screaming, crawling through dirt. All my friends were dead.
Stella, half buried in dirt.
I tried to save Lucy, sobbing into her chest.
Ben was dragged away by their killer, his body thrown into the lake.
The hiker who found me immediately called the police, and once I was in my motherâs arms, I sobbed into her shoulders. When Benâs body was pulled from the town lake, I was in denial.
Lucy and Stella were found a day later, and I sat next to my mother, choking through my traumatic experience. When Mom was gone, I was still sobbing, stabbing at my eyes with my fingernails to make more tears. âI miss them so much.â I whispered, slowly ducking under my bed and pulling out a plastic box.
Resting it on my bed, I pulled out a long, slithering red sausage, ripped it in two, and slid it into an envelope.
I licked the envelope shut, sniffling, writing with my favorite pen.
âMR AND MRS CALLOWS.â
*Don't worry guys,â I said, smiling at the envelope in my hand.
âI will find your killer.â
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2024.05.06 00:13 Current_Ad7871 I don't want to call my father dad anymore
Trigger warnings for threats of violence, talks of suicide, and emotional abuse. (Also mentions covid 19)
And it's long.
So I, 19 F, developed depression and suicidal ideation at the very young age of 10. (For a couple of reasons, the main one is that it runs in both sides of my family)
When I came to my parents saying I wished I was dead, my mother started helping me manage it and started me with therapy. My father personally told me that I could always tell him if I was feeling suicidal. (I've been passively suicidal mostly, so I always wish I was gone instead of planning to hurt myself, with about two exceptions over 10 years.)
One day, I was really struggling, and my father happened to knock on my door. When he saw I was crying, he asked what was wrong. I thought back to what he had said about confiding in him, so I decided to open up and be vulnerable and ask for help.
He screamed at me that he was not going to spend money or ruin his reputation by taking me to a mental hospital, and that I had to cut it out right there and then, before leaving me there, crying, and heart shattering. I had been vulnerable, and he spat at me, and unconsciously told me that what I was feeling was bad and that it wasn't okay. And it also told me he was two-faced because he'd promised he'd listen, and instead, he stomped on my heart.
I never really saw him the same way again, after that. I struggled with depression for 6 long, hard years, and I never once told him anything more, relying on my mother (who is amazing, and I love her. If any of you are worried about role models, know that she is my favorite person on earth, and I would move heaven and earth for her.)
With each year that passed after that incident, he slowly changed. Since then, he's been more distant. He's gotten angry outbursts that would scare everyone in my family. When he'd lose a job, he'd go into a cycle of treating everyone in the family horribly before getting a new one and suddenly being happy again.
I still live with my family, (older brother and sister have moved out. The abuse started between 2014-2020, so my brother didn't rectally experience it, but my older sister did, and left as soon as she could.) I have disabilities. I have ADHD, depression, anxiety, and social pragmatic communication disorder. (the last one is a disorder that makes it hard for me with social situations and social cues, and also sometimes makes my tone of voice come out in a completely different way than I want) I struggled with jobs, until I got one that taught vocational skills. I'm happy to report that I now have a new one starting soon.
But I haven't moved out, and I'm turning 20 soon. I've stayed for a couple of reasons. The first is that I'm not ready to move out. Both emotionally and realistically. My room is a mess most of the time, and I don't have the skills to live with people quite yet. I still have much to learn.
The second is that I help my little sister. Both my mom and father work far away. So I help out by driving my little sister places and picking her up and dropping her off. Third, I just registered for school, so I won't have to pay rent while in school, as per the rule that my parents set.
Lastly, I don't make enough money to sustain myself in this economy. I will be getting a job after school, and moving out, and telling my dad I never want to see him again, and going no contact.
I haven't heard anything nice come out of my father's mouth in years. He often yells at me, and I don't remember the last time he told me he loved me. I struggle with subtle things, so often I do best when someone straight up tells me "good job," "I'm proud of you," or "I love you." He also is often negative, to the point I don't like being around him.
Two years ago, my mom and little sister were on a trip, so It was just me and him. I had a funeral to go to, and it wasn't until after I attended that I discovered he had tested positive for covid. And he didn't tell me. My mom did. Over text.
I hurriedly took a covid test, and thank God it was negative. I apologized to my best friend (the funeral was for her little brother) and explained I would have taken precautions if I had known I was exposed. She assured me I was okay because I hadn't known.
When my mom and sister got home, we deep cleaned the house. For some reason, my dad said he just needed to wash his hands and stay safe, but my mom made him quarantine anyway. (He also had been very strict in the past about covid, so his insistence about being fine was confusing)
I opened up and said I was frustrated he never told me, and he responded with the excuse that I would have just worried too much and asked what I would have done anyway. I told him I would have worn a mask to the funeral, and I definitely wouldn't have hung around him. I even told him that I went to work with a mask. (And I told my manager I was exposed, but negative)
He then started yelling at me that I was immature, and was never going to understand life and that I needed to grow up. When I countered that he needed to man up and left, he got even angrier. My mother stepped in to try and calm him down, and I listened with tears falling in my room as he threatened to kick me out before going on to yell at my mother instead.
My mother realized not too long after that my father's relationship with us kids was so damaged and broken that he needed to start doing better. He refuses to go to therapy, but we often talk to a therapist ourselves.
He treats me the worst of all. My mother and sisters still get treated badly, but for some reason, he hates me the worst. And he's even said to my little sister's face that she is his favorite child. Because of this, she often is anxious about staying in his good graces, continuing to play the violin, because he wants her to, not sharing about her social and general anxietyâbecause she thinks it's because out of all his children, she has the least mental health struggles.
Recently, I've grown increasingly frustrated with him. He refuses to understand my sensory issues, and while he's not overtly cruel, he's still unkind. But it all came to a head last night, and I scared myself with how I reacted.
Last night, he was snacking on grapes when my cat, Everest, started sniffing them. I asked Alexa if grapes were okay for cats (a common occurance. Everest likes to eat human food for some reason) Alexa responded that grapes were poisonous for cats. I panicked and demanded my father stop trying to feed them to him.
He instead took a grape and tossed it to my cat to eat. Everest is not very bright, despite being very cute, so I was worried that he'd actually eat it. My father thought it would be funny. However, because I don't understand social cues (like teasing), I honestly saw it as my father trying to purposely poison my cat. (Who is my emotional support animal)
I screamed at him that if he killed my cat, I would personally kill him. Looking back, I'm very afraid of how irrationally I acted. I'm very impulsive (an ADHD thing, sadly), especially when I'm acting on emotions. I have never threatened anyone like that before, nor do I ever plan on acting on what I said. I am very sorry and afraid of what i said. I think I reacted because I was irrational, impulsive, and after years and years of abuse, I've grown sick and tired of being treated horribly by the man who is supposed to love and support me.
Today, my mother sat us both down, and I apologized for what I said. My father said he thought I needed help. That what I did would get me in trouble. And he didn't say it in a kind way. He said it in an "I can tell police, and I can ruin your life." Kind of way. While I agree what I said was wrong, he didn't seem to accept my apology, and he took no responsibility for what actions he had taken, too.
I told him that I no longer wanted to call him dad. For years, I have stayed silent. I have pretended to go along while leaving the room to cry. I have put up with so much for so long, and I have finally hit my breaking point. So I broke my silence.
When I told him how I felt, saying that he doesn't treat me right, and hasn't for years, he denied doing anything wrong, and repeatedly said that I was the one who threatened him. I was the one in the wrong. And while I agree I did overstep, I still know in my heart that he should never deserve the title of dad (from me, at least) I told him he wad In denial, and left, tears streaming down my face.
I don't know what to do. I've been afraid to break my silence in fear he'll pull the "I'm kicking you out" card. But I'm tired of being treated like shit.
I'm sorry this got so long.
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2024.05.05 01:31 joyDrivenCRobot Filipa the Fire
Filipa Type: Psychic Age: 21 years (F) Height: 174cm Weight: 80kg Built like a Mewtwo from Pokemon, but with D sized tits (She asked us to put that here). Desc: Excentric and energy pumped, very binary when it comes to picking between Hedonism to being responsible. Has a life peppered with incredibly coehrent and smart moments (when feeling like it) mixed with some one brain cell moments as well. Wants to be a mother and is plotting for that goal everyday. Let me tell you her story: There is this girl called Filipa. She is 20 years old. She is the average height for the age. She has really strong legs due to her hyperfixation in working them out. She trains her core alot because she wants to protect her baby "when it finally arrives". She has several obcessions: Programming, Physics, Football, Sex (practice, theory and... playful... exploration) and moving really fast and for very long. People who spot Filipa look at her like: "Damn....cant just stay still for like.. 2 seconds?!". She is not just resiliant, or gritty: she is rubber-like. Mentally, way more mature than common sense may lead us to believe. Carries herself like a child on her third life. Has autism, is clumsy and if she really has had 3 lives, her impulsiveness did not tone down one bit. Most of the time, she just looks like a goofy young woman who is completly unaware during formal settings. Trips all over the place. Easly teasable. Easly stressed. Low defense, but Very blunt. Gets annoyed at "Casuals" who dont fully understand the complete nuances or know all the details of her incredibly rich interest pool and internal worlds. Unintentionally insensitive. Low self awareness. Creative. Loud. Playful. Non conforming. Easly mistaken as naive. Has psychic powers. Cant control them very well. Used to be good, but then got rusty. Flashy in terms of demeanor, personality, tastes, words and hobbies. Dismissive of her own appearance. Wastes potential there. Has blue eyes, black chest level hair, surprisingly, no dark under eyes, due to unexpectadly healthy sleeping habits for a 2020s bedroom programming, restless, hyperactive autistic girl. Thick legs and strong core. wears hoodies in summer. Comes of as irrational. Listens to sewerslvt. Enjoys challenges. Independent, Inflexible thinker. Straight forward. Bisexual. Had a crush In everyone in class for almost all of middleschool. Unreasonably resents her rigid, although caring parents. "Im right until I feel like admiting otherwise. I just "conform" when I feel like being left alone". Has enough kindness to spare for everyone, all the time, for this life, the three previous ones and following deep inside her heart. Very observant. Carried a childhood full of teasing and denial of individuality, but everyday wakes up thinking: "Lets do this". Tsundere turned protagonist.
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2024.05.04 12:08 localbuttscratcher God removes toxic people in our lives and replaces them with even better ones
Sorry i didnt know what fair to use..Just wanted to share my story here because I felt that it can be quite inspiring to see God working in our lives. If you're struggling with relationship issues, just trust that God is always with you and things will always get better :)
I am a very compassionate person who can see people's inner beauty easily and just fall in love with them without caring so much about their outer looks. And God has blessed me with this gift of mercy for others.
This is gonna sound weird and cringy, but my whole life, I used to look up a lot to adults since I kept getting harassed and bullied by the people my age since kindergarten. Something about older wise people attracts me to them, and I love hanging out with them. So I used to have this teacher who left my school and I grew closer to her after that because I really loved her classes and she would help me with my work since the teacher that took over kinda sucked at teaching. Over time, as I got to know her better, I came to realise that she's not as good as she seems in terms of moral values. She would cut people off and potentially avoid relationships where the other person can't seem to meet her standards. I was so blinded by my love for her good qualities that I brushed off the fact that I was like "worshipping" her, telling her that I wanted to be more like her.
Out of curiousity, I asked her if she believed in Jesus, but she told me that even so, she doesn't go to church because she is too lazy. She mentioned attending a methodist school in my country, but her parents are against Christianity. Soon, I found myself drifting far far away from God under the influence of her negative actions, causing me to overthink a lot and get anxious very easily. I was scared of losing her because nobody understood me or validated my feelings like how she did. There were so many red flags in our relationship, but I just didn't wanna think about it since the more I did, the more it hurt. I knew it was Jesus telling me that it has gone too far to the point where I couldn't imagine my life without her. I always had this ability to tell when God disapproves of my actions as He places these visions in my head of the future.
At last, the most pain inflicting thing moment finally came where she totally shut me off. And I guess she was driven by her raging hormones to just ghost me and not communicate directly with her feelings. What broke me was that she went onto reddit and told everyone how I was needy and annoying (anonymously). I was in denial, and I couldn't possibly share this with anyone because they would think that I wasted all my time and I shouldn't have started it in the first place. Fearing of being judged and the embarrassment, I just bottled this up, which ended me up crying every night. I was so angry at myself that I just isolated myself from the world and didn't wanna interact with anyone, not even my closest friends. I guess I just didn't wanna be hurt again like how I was. I couldn't even process what was going on anymore. I felt that God was punishing me, and my life only kept getting worse and worse.
Recently, I attended this programme where we learnt about our purpose in Godâs kingdom and how we were made to have intimate relationships with other human beings, not just romantic. How church is first family. One of my mentors reminded me of that teacher, but it was only the good qualities that I saw in her. I grew closer to her, and she decided to take me into her arms despite all my baggage from past traumas.
I guess she also saw something special in me, as she ever told me that she hoped that nothing in this world would dim my light and joy that radiated for others. She kept teasing me of how cute I am, constantly poke my cheeks, and accepting me for who I was despite all the weird and quirky things I did. I wouldn't say that initially I wanted to get attached to her due to the fear of getting hurt again but she just knew how to comfort me and reassure me that she wasn't gonna hurt me even without saying anything. Despite us squabbling sometimes, I didn't feel like our relationship was being threatened. In fact, these funny memories brought us closer. I told her about this whole situation that happened and how I felt safe with her, which she replied "aww that's so sweet" and leaned on my shoulder. I viewed her as my spiritual mum, and she indeed brought me closer to God. She listened to me, understood me, validated me, comforted me, took care of me, and loved me. Maybe God also put me in her life to be that child that she never had due to her longing. And I think we both kinda healed each other in areas that we really needed. I'm so grateful that God blessed me with this relationship, which glorifies and is pleasing to Him.
As of my previous situation, God might have put me in my ex-teacher's life just to let her know what love is like and for me to love myself more.
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