Sstories to make you cry

My (25F) girlfriend and I (24NB) were planning on having just one birthday party for the both of us next month, since our birthdays are only days apart and I'm going to be visiting her (we are long distance) for the week. We thought it was a good idea to have it together. The ppl invited are just her group of friends (for obvious reasons) whom I get along pretty well and already knew beforehand. The issue came around later when she asked me if she could invite another friend to the party that's not really in the group chat, and I told her that since this is a celebration for the both of us, I wouldn't be comfortable with that.
Now, the thing is, I don't like this particular friend at all because of some stuff he did and said in the past (about my gf). They fought and fell apart for a couple of months last year and then at the beginning of this one, after blocking her and removing her from his social media and bad-mouthing her, he asked her to reconnect and talk about it. Apparently a mutual friend convinced him. My gf accepted this and went to have dinner with him and they did talk about it, he apologized for being an asshole but told her that he was just waiting for her to reach out (cause she used to do that when they fought before and now she didn’t). At the end, she told him that they couldn't go back to what they were, but they could see how things go. She asked for my opinion on this and I told her that based on the things he said at the meeting and all that, I wouldn't really trust him, but at the end of the day it was her choice and I'd respect whatever she decided on, whether they are friends again or just acquaintances. That doesn't mean I don't have my own thoughts about it though. He was an immature asshole and he hurt her and made her cry. She was dealing with a lot of intrusive thoughts and had depressive episodes after all went down. I understand she wants to forgive him, and I actually like how she can put all behind them and move on, but I'm not really like that.
Anyways, that was it. She told me she wouldn't want to hang out with him like just the two of them like before, but that she wouldn't avoid him if he happen to be in the same place or hanging out with the same friends.
As far as I know, they haven't been talking at all. But now she told me she wants to invite him to the birthday party and wanted to know how I felt about it. And I was honest. I don't like him and I would rather not see him, if it can be avoided. I wouldn't have said anything if it was just her party, of course, because she has the right to invite whoever she wants, but since it was a celebration for the both of us and since she asked, I guess I thought it would've been nice to have a say and all that. This didn't really sit right with her.
We had a huge fight about it and she told me she wanted to invite him anyways, and if I didn't want him there bc it was my birthday as well, we should do two separate parties so she can invite him to hers. Under normal circumstances, that would've been fine by me. But as I established before, we are long distance. None of my friends or family are going to celebrate with me there, so I think the idea is rather dumb; the only person who's not going to be invited to mine is him, the rest of the guests would be the same and really, would they even want to go to two different reunions with a two day difference just because of this one person? At the end, I told her it was fine and I would just bear with it. I'm not an immature person who's going to fill the room with negative energy just because of this, and the things he did are not really unforgivable crimes to the point I wouldn't want to be in the same room as him. He's just an asshole and a bad friend. I didn't really like the fact that she asked me like I had a choice at all, because at the end it was either we invite him or you make your own party outside of mine, but anyways.
So, that's solved. I can compromise on that and I also understand her point, I guess, since at the end of the day he is (was?) one of her closest friends. I don't know.
The thing that has been bothering me now is that after all of this went down, we talked about it more deeply and she told me that it doesn't make sense that I would hold a grudge towards the people that are in her life, cause the problems she has have all to do with her and whoever that person is and not, well, me.
And I don't really know how to feel about that? I had issues with some friends in the past and ex partners that were toxic, and the ppl around me despise them. I have a complicated relationship with my mom as well, and most of them hold resentment towards her for that reason and I'm aware of this. These problems are none of their business, I know, but I thought it was normal to watch them react to it and form their own opinions toward those people because they hurt me. And I'm dear to them. And it's the same the other way around. If you hurt my friends, I don't like you, whether you are a family member or an ex boyfriend or a toxic friend.
I asked her what does she think about the ppl that hurt me, and she told me she doesn't have any kind of resentment towards them because is not her place. She might not like them bc of their actions, but that's about it. If I decide to forgive them, she welcomes them back into her life as well.
So now I'm wondering, is it wrong of me to hold grudges against someone who hurts the people who are dear to me? Am I the asshole? Should I stop?
I have spoken about this to my friends but I think I need a little more perspective, cause they all behave the same way I do when we are talking about this particular topic.

I'm less than a year into my healing process. I know I still have a long way to go. First I realized I had been compartmentalizing and was unraveling. Started therapy. Then felt like I opened a huge can of worms and panicked because I had a lot more to unpack than I realized. Now I feel like I have stabilized my depression and anxiety with all this but I have yet to grieve anything. I know I'm struggling feeling connected to my emotions. I know what I should be feeling but not sure what I'm actually feeling. I just want to feel the things and grieve. I feel stuck. I'm worried I'm just going to go back acting like everything is fine until it isn't again. I'm want to face this head on but I can't seem to make this step. I just want to feel something other that anxiety and a sadness that's just sad enough to make me want to hide but I can't even cry about. Just looking for support or even suggestions if anyone's got any. Thank you

Hi everyone I’m new here and just start OZ May 11. Just took my second dose yesterday and I’m feeling all kinds of ways. First, the nausea, hot flashes, insomnia, and exhaustion I have right after I take it is not fun, but it’s manageable. Second, I have this weird fear about losing weight and wondered if anyone has this experience and how they dealt with it. I’ve been “overweight”, unhealthy let’s say that, since the 4th grade. I was very unhealthy as a teen and then had bulimia and lost a bunch. I was so sick. Then of course I gained. My highest was 340 and I’ve lost 30 on my own then started Oz. There was only a small part of my life like for a year I was at a “healthy” weight but I was so unhealthy from bulimia. So I’ve never been healthy. I’m doing everything I can to finally get there in a healthy way but I’m so scared about everything- sagging skin, wrinkles, being suicidal again over how I look, not knowing who I am as a person who isn’t unhealthy. I know this probably sounds crazy to some of you but I don’t have good mental health sometimes and I ruminate on these things. Like who will I be and what will I do. I have an autoimmune disease and have basically been sick for 9 years, I went into remission last year after having my gallbladder out which was a whole different issue. I was the sickest I’ve ever been last year. Anyway, any thoughts on this? Also I’ve already lost 6 lbs the first week so I am stoked, these are just thoughts that come and go and make me periodically cry in fear 🙃

TL;DR: I feel stuck and unsure how to proceed with a breakup after my terminally ill parent's situation gave me an intense desire to go out and 'live'.
After my parent's diagnosis, I have been rather emotionally numb. Recently however, I have suddenly been hit with the realisation of my mortality that life is short. I have been crying, having anxiety attacks. I feel old, I want to be like I was back in university, following my dreams. In order to follow my dreams this will take a substantial chunk out of time I have with my partner.
Myself and my partner do not live together still. We refuse to rent, we wish to buy, but he hasn't saved for it, and honestly neither have I. Maybe because I don't want to move in or am scared too.
The problem is he is extremely lovely. A great person, kind, gentle, understanding. If I am honest, a very good man because he was raised around mainly women. He says all the right things and works hard to repair any issues or conflicts we may have. He is very smart and thoughtful.
I don't want to regret losing this, especially a big supportive family that he has, but I don't know if I can be stuck, looking at the same 4 walls of his room every other weekend. We both have our own jobs, see each other once a week, don't text much at all outside of that. I worry that I love him a lot, but might not be in love with him because of this. We had a major break through last year where we almost broke up, but didn't.
He has changed his mind about having kids... or at least said it would be nice to. He sees his sister with her new baby and feels the pressure from his family and this frankly medieval (?) notion to continue his bloodline. But that is his option and I respect that. I see his sister and I feel the opposite - makes me want them less, especially since his sister is in this terrible marriage (not just my opinion, the whole family thinks so too). I see them and I want to run, fast. I don't want that. I don't want a commitment like that.
Having a partner is fine, there is an out, having a kid... has complications and you can never leave. It's permanent. Permanency freaks me out.
If I do part ways, once my partner dies I will essentially only have friends left. I don't have a close bond with external family and an only child.
I feel I am stuck in a time loop of when I was 21 with him but I am aging rapidly and not following my dreams. There are times I want to do certain things, but my partner is protective of me and doesn't wish for me to go alone. But I can't wait around for him to have the time either, especially since we have differing interests.
I've never been clubbing, never lived alone, never travelled outside the country alone... I have been holding back from doing things because I have always been tethered to someone. I've never had a 'single era' and I'm terrified of it.
Has anyone experienced this and can you tell me how you went about approaching this?

I've got some intense hyperarousal and hypervigilance symptoms. If I hear the sudden chirp of somebody locking their car with a keyfob while I'm walking by on the street, I'll practically jump 5ft in the air and shout.
I really don't enjoy certain aspects of it, like how it prevents me from being able to relax enough to fall asleep or how it makes me an incredibly light sleeper who jolts awake at the slightest sound.
However, I am kind of appreciative of my hypersensitive fight-or-flight response, especially how it always veers towards "fight" over the other options.
If somebody tries to jump out at me or sneak up behind me as a joke, I'm always shocked to learn my body involuntarily responds with lightning fast, ninja-tier reflexes; jabbing someone in the eyes with my fingers, elbowing them in the diaphragm so hard they can't breathe, kneeing them in the groin, smashing them over the head with whatever I'm holding, etc.,
Like, I'm not happy to hurt anyone, but 1. If your idea of a good time is deliberately scaring someone, you deserve whatever happens next and 2. It's nice to know that if a genuine threat occurs, my sympathetic nervous system can handle it.
I'm also grateful for the fact that it allows me to shut down creeps with ease. I'll watch a lot of my friends humor the creepiest freaks imaginable for months on end because they're afraid of confrontation or hurting someone's feelings.
Meanwhile, if someone makes me feel on edge and uncomfortable, all fear flies out the window and is immediately replaced with anger. I end up shutting them down and chasing them off with overt hostility very early on. It's like my unconscious mind is thinking "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get this person to NEVER interact with me again, time to make a stranger cry".
It's honestly been very useful!
Can anybody else relate?

I am a 20-year-old guy. I was in a long-distance relationship that got very toxic, and we broke up in April. My girlfriend (19) was preparing for her exams, and I was also looking for jobs. I got a good internship at a good company, but she was still struggling with her preparation. I always helped her with her math. We were having so many fights; she always brought up breaking up and blamed me for everything in our relationship.
Just as I was about to start my new internship and move to a new city, we got into another fight because I wanted to talk to her, but she didn't and just went to sleep, ignoring me. After that fight, I tried to fix things, but she kept saying we couldn't stay together and that we were not compatible. Similar things had happened in the past, where we had a break just before I started my previous internship, and I cried for 10 days straight, telling her I was sorry. In the end, she said, "I love you, let's give us another chance." Due to that experience, I didn't want to repeat the same for this opportunity too. I said, "Fine, let's break up," because I was so devastated and had tried everything to fix our relationship. At that moment, I felt like I couldn't do anything alone. She was also worried about her exams, and I didn't want her preparation to be affected by me, so I said let's take a break.
As days passed, I avoided contacting her. Then a situation arose on my end: my university was having problems with me switching my internship, and they said they were going to detain me for the semester. It got very serious, so I had to work from home and travel quickly to my university. I told her about this, but she was very cold and showed no reaction. I thought she would say something different, but she didn't. I booked a flight immediately and traveled that night. On my way after the flight, my phone got stolen in the metro. At my university, the situation was also not good. Despite all this, I thought she would call me and speak with me, but she didn't. I didn't want to disturb her because her exam was in two days. I waited, thinking I would talk to her after her exam.
My university was pressuring me so much that I couldn't do my work. I didn't have a phone, and my university was not listening to me. There was no solution at that time, and I was feeling very down. The day of her exam came, and I texted her to ask how it went. She said, "Not so good." I told her it was okay and not to worry, that she tried her best, and I motivated her. She thanked me, and then I asked if we could talk. She said no because she wasn't in a good mood, and I wasn't either. I insisted that we should talk to avoid things getting worse between us, but she refused. We had a call where she wasn't paying attention to me. When I told her I wasn't fine and needed to talk, she said nothing. My phone's battery drained very fast, so I texted her how much I wanted to talk to her and how much I needed her, but she didn't reciprocate.
I eventually gave up and texted her some harsh things to get a reaction out of her, and she finally started replying, which was kind of funny. I apologized immediately and continued to apologize the next day and the day after that. I suggested taking a break and then getting back together, but she said no to every possibility. I concluded that it was over.
I felt like, what's the point of this relationship if she can't help me in such a situation? I was there for her, but she was not there for me.
I waited a week, hoping she would message me, but she didn't. Then I thought I should visit her next month after getting my salary. I was very anxious at that time. I tried to speak to her, but she again said no. After that, I was very confused. A friend of mine told me, "Bro, do whatever gives you peace." At that moment, I realized that even if I visited her, things wouldn't change because I was ready, but she was not. I realized I had been dumped, and I had anxiety attacks and other issues. I also had to perform at my job, and everything was very messy. She blocked me during all this time.
After two weeks, I realized I should move on. I started talking to a girl I met on a dating app. We had night-long calls, and she seemed cool. She was into art, and I felt like I wanted to learn art to express myself. I thought of dating her to see where things would go. For our first date, she invited me to her place, which was weird, but I didn't think much of it because if something bad happened to me, I would be fine with that (I was suicidal). We watched a movie, and before I left, she moved close to me, and we kissed. After that, I asked more about her past relationships, which were not that great.
I suddenly realized what a mistake I made because I knew I wasn't going to stay with her long. On our second date, I conveyed this to her, and she said it was fine. She also didn't want any attachments and just wanted to go with the flow. We made out again (no intercourse). After the second date, my guilt got to me, and I told her I couldn't be physical with her if we weren't going to be together because I didn't want that. She said, "Chill, it's okay, we're both having fun," but I stopped talking to her. However, the guilt of moving on too quickly and the realization that I wasn't going to be with my ex ever hit me hard.
I felt like I had lost all my chances. My ex was the love of my life, and now I realize she just needed time to work on herself. If I had been patient, everything might have been fine. After a few days, I had a call with my ex, breaking the no-contact rule, and it turned into an argument. The next day, she called me, apologizing for her mistakes. After that call, I started having feelings for her again. I got desperate and forgot all the bad things that had happened in the past. But I didn't have the courage to tell her what I had done in the meantime. I told her I was very confused and wanted her back, even though I hated her a few days ago.
I was getting very messy. She told me we couldn't be together, that she didn't want to give me hope, and that we should work on ourselves and see what happens. I agreed. We both had an unspoken plan to meet after 3-4 months once she got into college. But the guilt of making out with another girl got to me, along with the hope of getting back with my ex and the thought that she might not change.
I wanted to kill that hope. At first, I thought I would confess to her when we met, but I didn't want to be stuck on that thought for months. One day, she messaged me, and I told her everything. She hung up the call and blocked me. The next day, I called her from my friend's phone and apologized. I said I was very confused about what I wanted and that I didn't know what I was doing. I asked her not to think of me as a bad person and to forgive me. She said I should have waited and that I am the kind of person who moves on easily. She hung up the call again. And here I am.
TLDR: Am I the asshole for moving on from my girlfriend who wanted me to move on from her? She said lots of heartbreaking things to me at the end, and I gave up and moved on too quickly, which I regret now.

I slept fine, I didn’t fall asleep so nicely. I don’t know why, I felt perfectly adequate all evening and then bam I cry myself to sleep. I don’t know how or why, and I didn’t even cry over anything in particular it was just any and everything. And I just kept crying and crying, like a baby. I had to switch pillows twice because I drenched it, but I got to sleep on my favourite pillow by the time I was almost asleep thankfully. I can be so picky with pillows, another thing mum tends to call me, even to this day - the princess and the pea. Or rather she likens me to her… I can’t entirely say I disagree tbh. I just like things a particular way, not all things, I can be relaxed about plenty, but there are some things I just to be just so. My pillows when I sleep for example, how the dishwasher top rack is stacked etc. Entirely inconsequential things really. But anyway. I didn’t fall asleep so nicely. I woke up feeling better, still a bit sad but nothing I couldn’t ignore.
It’s now 12:58pm and I’ve done next to nothing. I’ve been watching BT, I’m not writing the name of the show because I feel like that might be search heavy at the moment? So I’ve been watching that, I’m midway through the third episode now and there are four out so far. I’ve also painted some of my lil clay things with primer. And that’s about it. I really need to clean and tidy my room but the idea of it… ugh. I don’t want to :(
I’m loving BT so much. I like the stories and characters and stuff, but I mostly love the sets and costumes. They’re just so luxuriously opulent and uggghhhhhhh I want to just stare it all. Sometimes I wish they would clear out the cast and just give us a tour of the rooms and show all the details of the gowns. But like I learned in therapy, beauty is something I value highly, not in a vain way but in the way I utterly adore beautiful things whether it be a stunningly ornate wallpaper, a sparkly bead encrusted gown or even a leaf that is the perfect shade of green. I just love it all and it brings me so much joy, more than I realised now that I’m conscious of this value of mine. But the BT house itself, particularly the drawing room ommmmgggg. The blue? I think it’s called wedgewood blue from memory, with the creamy/white detailing. And all the light streaming through. It’s so dreamy. And it makes me love my blue and white bedroom more. And the gowns!!!!!!! I wish I could roll around in them, they’re so sparkly and detailed and beyond beautiful. Particularly the ones crusted in beading and with the luxurious silks and satins and velvets and taffetas and organza and all of it. And the colours! It’s all so dreamy. I don’t overly love the style of a lot of the gowns, that sort of empire line, mainly because it only looks good on women with fewer curves and a flatter chest, they can look gorrrrrrrgeous in them. But otherwise if you have any kind of cleavage it looks so weird and bleh. I love Penelope so much, she’s always been a favourite character and she honestly deserves the very best. And Colin definitely got a glow up prior to this season. His brown coat is so delicious. I’m beginning to wonder if I should read the series…? I do love a lil historical romance. Anyway I don’t even Penelope and Colin to end up together, I mean Lord Debling is so lovely and Colin is off sleeping with hookers… like? Then again I know I am wrong in how I think and feel about all of this. I know I have expectations ghat are unfair, I mean maybe not for everyone but if I’m nothing special and therefore not enough then can I criticise. This doesn’t make sense. Anyway. Actually nevermind I just watched the fourth episode and I am very much Team Colin. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!!!!!!!! But now I have to wait for part two in mid June :(
I’m going to the office tomorrow. I don’t want to. But oh well. I’m going to make a concerted effort to get back in twice a week - I’ve been slack with it and it doesn’t help me become better. Leaving the house more is important, so this shall be one of the ways. I’m also going to get some new sneakers and a walking jacket so I can go for walks more regularly. I’d like to go several times a week, but I’ll work up to that. I love my walks, I love them a lot but I just get filled with every negative emotion when I go for them around my house, to the point I’ll start having tears running down my cheeks or shaky trembly hands - it’s pathetic. I think environment is everything, and purpose. When I walk pups at my parents I don’t feel these things, I’ll be a little anxy but nothing I can’t manage. But here? It’s so hard. It’s so stupid I know. But I love walking, I feel better when I do it regularly, so I shall keep forcing myself to do it until I feel okay about it. I know this is what I have to do, but the way it makes me feel inside… it never feels worth it. To be 20 minutes walk from home and feel on the verge of a panic attack is NOT a good feeling and it only makes my panic worsen. So baby steps. I’ve been considering on and off moving to a different area, I think I would feel more comfortable in other areas, I don’t know why I don’t here but I don’t. But moving elsewhere is no different to running from problems so I will sort it out here.
I broke his little bowl. I didn’t mean to :( I feel kind of upset about it, it’s been two weeks in the making with time to shape, dry, prime and I was doing a final layer of primer pre paint and my stupid finger went through the base. So I guess it would never have been a good present anyway because it broke so easily. But I bought a really pretty coloured paint because I thought he might like it and I just feel upset. I showed him it, idk why, I just messaged him a picture of it now and I already wish I hadn’t. I shouldn’t have even made anything for him in the first place, he’s made it abundantly clear he doesn’t care for homemade things - cards, presents, whatever. If he did like them he would comment on them, and he never does, so maybe it’s a good thing this broke. I just like sharing things with him, like when I draw and I like a tree I’ve drawn I want to show him, except I don’t because I’m utterly rubbish at drawing and it makes me look like a five year old. I at least appreciate his honesty, or transparency rather. It means I can understand what he does and doesn’t like. I just think his likes don’t mesh with my like of making homemade cards and presents. It’s not like I only give him that though. Anyway it doesn’t matter, plus it’s probably better for me to not share things like this given I don’t have any skill or natural talent with it. Just because you enjoy something doesn’t make you good at it.
I don’t feel so great this afternoon, mood wise.
I’ve done the absolute bare minimum with my room, and the bar was set very, very low today. I tidied the floor up a bit, I made my bed, did a lazy tidy of my vanity desk thing.. that’s about it. I’ll do more across the week.
I feel.. detached today. This afternoon, rather. I know I love my family, Andy, puppy… etc. I just can’t feel it. I know it’s all in there, but I feel detached and I can’t reach it. This isn’t unusual, I just always try to describe the feeling and always fail. I think knowing I care but not being able to feel myself care sums it up as well as I’ll ever be able to.
I found a little notebook of my early days of therapy, well with this current one, maybe not that early actually but idk. It was just me writing down who I am. The first is “I am a human” because I had to start with the basics. The last line is “I try my best to be friendly” - I think I will continue with this. No one really comments much on me so I will just write it as things feel write. From memory it was also a way to force myself to speak more kindly to myself, ie I am a woman vs I am a monster. And things like I’m generous, I love animals, I am quiet, I try to be patient, I love romance, I appreciate attention to detail, I like to care for others, I am a homebody, I love reading etc. And then scattered amongst it was some honesty, like I can be a control freak, I am quite particular about some things, I am indecisive, I am sensitive etc. And then next to I am a friend I have a question mark. But I want to continue writing these things, I think it’s helpful when I feel lost in myself to be able to read through a list of things I’ve written and be reminded. That sounds so silly to not know who you are sometimes, but sometimes I just feel so unbelievably lost and unmoored from everything, even myself. So I’ll write all the good things, and the bad. I’ll write things that I like, things that I don’t. I’ll write things I want in my life, things I feel like I should want but don’t, things I shouldn’t want but do etc etc etc. It’ll be a little tiny notebook of everything me. I wonder if sometimes it’s possible for me to get any lamer? Unlikely.
I’ve been thinking about stopping journaling here more and more. I get more out of posting it here, it feels like a release, like I’m letting all the thoughts go which is especially helpful with my negative ones, I don’t know.
It’s 5:23pm. I need to wash and blowdry my hair, as it’s still damp in the morning lately. I need to have something for dinner, I guess. I’ve been struggling with eating lately, I feel so ugly and it makes me not want to eat and then that sets off a bad string of things. I’ll have something little, vegemite toast maybe. I need to pack my bag for tomorrow. And that’s it.
I feel better after a shower and chat with Andy, I still feel not good but he perked me up on the outside. He makes me laugh so much :) It’s kind of weird to think I’ll be living long term in Australia, like I’ve always intended on living there - until my mental health and covid messed things up a little for me timeline wise. But to think I’ll maybe say Australian things…? That I’ll say thongs? And I definitely will because I cave quickly, like I was only in the UK two years and I said crisps and trainers and I still do to this day, which I’m actively trying to stop. I wonder what my accent would sound like after like ten years… I really doubt I’d ever lose my accent. It’s funny how I do probably sound a bit different when talking to him versus my mum. I just talk more softly with him, I naturally do anyway to the point I have people comment semi regularly on how soft spoken I am, but idk, I don’t even mean to speak to him a certain way, I just do? And then he hears me talking to mum and I probably sound like I’m wearing Jandals and stubbies while loading up the ute as I prepare for a tramp in the bush. Christ. I do love being from here though, in theory I would rather we live here than Australia, and never say never… but it makes more sense to be there. I don’t really have anyone here other than my parents whereas he has family and friends and his payments and all of it. I don’t really have any ties here. Anyway.
I get to spend time with him tonight :) Night night

“Do not waist life…”
Oh Lestat, the illiterate boy & young man you were; so desperate to learn & be good, with a Mother for whom knowledge & escape through books was her only solace… who couldn’t even be bothered to teach you the alphabet.
Now, with your preternatural skills, you can read & write & do any thing you wish… but of course - it makes sense that you would never have entirely learned how to spell, or at least that there’d be the odd, common words you didn’t know. (Occurred is also spelled incorrectly.)
Little details, breaking my heart even more.
Thank you everyone for caring so much, you thought about the spelling of Lestat’s letter. I noticed. I care about every tiny detail like this & feel it, like love: deep in my soul.
Also: is Dreamstat really going to make me cry in every single episode of season 2, even when he’s barely in the episode for a breath?! He made me cry in episode 1, and here too.
Oh Louis: to read this letter & all your internal pain & shame & sorrow & guilt & love to deepen, I’m sure even more. Oh Sam, how you spoke the letter. Oh Lestat’s outfit, from their first “date”….
(I have much more to say on the episode, which I’ll do in the episode thread, but for now… I just loved this little detail…)

I was originally going to post this is dating_advice but I kept going on into my problems so I think I need some different kind of help (i copy pasted the text I was writing there here, but also kept typing on it.) Halfway through I start talking a lot about my family so that’s not as relevant. Also this is an alt account because I wanted to be anonymous while posting this. I tried formatting it by different issues I guess. I formatted it after writing and i’m on phone (i’m trying to follow the community rules. Lemme know if this is acceptable or not):
(Intro and main topic) ———————————— • As of last year i’m a freshman in college just finishing up the second semester and I haven’t even made a single friend in college. Well I have met and talked to some people but the connection isn’t all too deep. It’s like we would call each other friends because we see each other “sometimes” but it’s not like we hang out for the sake of hanging out if that makes sense. So this entire year of college I haven’t made a single friend. This problem of not being able to approach people extends to my inability to find a girlfriend. I’ve never been in a relationship like that so i’m not even sure I would make a good boyfriend. But I know i’m longing for deeper connections with new friends or a girlfriend. I’ve never tried approaching someone or asking someone to go on a date. Except one time in high school where I thought I had feelings for someone but I’m still unsure I even did. I texted them asking them on a movie date but they said no. It was upsetting a little bit and made things awkward because I was unsure how to talk to them after that but I also wasn’t that worried about it later.
(Why approaching people is hard) ———————————— • Sometimes I think about approaching someone but then I think that there’s no point. The interaction won’t go anywhere besides a couple little back and forths and then we’ll never talk again. Or lots of times never see each other again. Why should I say anything. I end up overthinking like this until the chance is gone. I tend to keep to myself a lot.
(Personal issues I guess) ———————————— • I think I have social anxiety. I don’t like places with a lot of people so it makes approaching even harder because if I say something stupid other people will hear. Since middle school i’ve been conscious of my volume thinking other people might listen in on my conversations with others. It’s easier to talk to people one on one. It made it hard to be myself to the point I didn’t know how to be myself. I acted like other people. Adopting their mannerisms because I thought it would help me fit in. One time I got called out on it and I felt.. despair I guess. They didn’t directly say why I acted like that but they did point out that I acted like someone else specifically they said “you’re not (person’s name)”. I try not to act like others. I feel like I’m a boring person to others because I can be very quiet. I try and balance this by speaking confidently on the rare times I use my voice.
(Why I don’t think I can get a girlfriend or be a good boyfriend) ———————————— • Back tracking to the relationship thing. I also don’t know if i’m even worthy of having a girlfriend. As i’m writing this i’m trying to find the words to defend that sentence because I know everyone is worthy of love and I know that what I wrote is wrong but all I have is the reasons I feel like this. I’m already 18 and I don’t feel like i’ve matured enough to deserve a girlfriend. I’ve never had a job, I don’t have my license, and it’s embarrassing to admit but I live with my grandparents because they live 10 min away from campus. Maybe if I was really good looking or something none of that stuff would matter but i’m just average. Not fat, not muscular, just skinny and kind of short but I am pretty athletic actually but I have asthma (my body is a system of checks and balances). I’m taller than my dad who’s kind of my role-model so that gives me a confidence boost.
(Why i’m grateful for my family/not as relevant) ———————————— • I don’t see my dad a lot (only in the summers) but he’s an amazing father and I want to be just like him when have children someday. I can’t help crying right now. I’m very thankful to all of my caring family. Even if I can’t make friends I know every single one of them will always be there for me. I know not everyone is as lucky with the family they are born into and I cherish the connections I have with them. I’ve been told many times by them that they’d accept me for who I am no matter what. Just recently I had some awful news that was difficult to tell my mother but she didn’t get angry like I thought. She just said calmly that she’s glad I told her and then she comforted me about it. I’m so glad my dad taught me the importance of honesty and owning up to my mistakes quickly. I’m sorry if this is off topic but I just suddenly feel like I need to give them thanks. I will always be connected to my brothers and sisters as we grow older. When I lived with my mom over the school years I always had a best friend but when we drifted more and more apart I felt more alone. I couldn’t make that connection with anyone else again. We’re still friends but I can’t honestly call him my best friend. We were friends in elementary and middle school is when we drifted apart. Still close then but not as close as I thought especially because now we went to the same school(in elementary we didn’t). So i’m very grateful for being able to understand the experience of being an only child when I lived with my mother and the experience of having siblings when I was with my dad. It makes me grateful for my siblings because i know i’ll never be alone in the world. Not truly. My mom eventually gave me sisters when I was 12 and I love them to death.

I have my fair share of problems and insecurities that i deal with everyday like everyone else but everytime i try to talk about them i always feel like what im saying is stupid invalid and i always feel unfulfilled after i poorly convey what im feeling. I dont know how to cope with these problems. 1. My loneliness My loneliness has always been a problem. Its made me depressed anxious desperate and its made me an attention seeker. In any social situation im always trying to get all the attention on me by making jokes or saying the most outrageous lies so people will see me and when they dont i feel bad. My friends always call me out on my attention seeking and i never let them know it bothers me but it does. I feel small and i want to be noticed and wanted and desired but nobody feels that for me. I always go out of my way to talk and call people but its hardly ever reciprocated and that makes me feel even worse. It also doesnt help that i have trouble with women. I crave intimacy with women who i have romantic interest in platonic interest in and even no interest in and its lead me to get with some questionable women just because im so desperate, i dont even care half the time. And when i do luck out and have a relationship with a girl its always short toxic or unfulfilling. Majority of the time its my fault for that because when i do land a good thing with a girl i treat them horribly like i dont care if they leave me or not but i always regret it because when theyre gone i feel even more alone but i often ignore the fact that it ended because of me which leads me to my narcissist tendencies 2. My narcissism Every relationship I’ve ever been in has ended because I treat them horribly and I see no problem with it. I always believe that there’s nothing wrong with the way that I treat these women and it often falls on my friends to help me realize what I’ve done wrong, because I often feel like I have done no wrong to them and it confuses me when they leave me. Ive said some horrible things, and done horrible things to alot of sweet girls all because of my nonchalant i dont care attitude and it always back fires on me in the end because i always feel alone and desperate after the fact. Im my own worst enemy it’s not even with women it’s with my friends to. I say horrible things just for the sake of being horrible and when they get upset at me, it’s almost like an instinct for me to believe that they’re being sensitive and I’m not wrong for what I did or said, what is wrong with me I’ve learned a little bit, but the narcissism is still there 3. My empathy or lack there of I’ve heard that narcissists have lots of problems with empathy, and I most definitely have a lack of empathy for others around me. I’ve always had trouble feeling for other people and understanding how my actions affect others and it’s ruined a lot of relationships that I’ve had with people and women. just the other day my friends were talking to me about how I don’t ever think about how what I do affects others around me and I’m not sure if it’s because I just don’t care or if it’s like an inability to and it’s also confuses me. I try sometimes to feel for other people, but I often feel like it’s superficial like I don’t understand why they’re mad but I see why they’re mad so it makes me feel bad and if i care enough ill apologize. Growing up affection and emotions were never some things that were important and I’d say 90% of my childhood. None of that was ever expressed. I’m not sure if that’s a factor of why I have problems empathizing with people but I’m sure it’s a reason one of them at least. I have ADHD, and I’ve often thought that I am on the spectrum because emotional intelligence has never been my strong suit. It used to be even worse years ago, but I’ve had a lot of bad experiences that have allowed me to learn, but it’s still not enough. And it makes me sad because I do care for the people around me and how they view me but When I feel like I’ve been called out, I get defensive and I get mean and I say things that I shouldn’t have but I’m so caught up in my own emotions that I see no wrong with what I’ve done because I’m trying to make them feel worse than how I do 4. My insecurity with my height I am extremely insecure with my height. All my friends are tall and I am so jealous of them. It makes me honestly kind of resent them and when they tell me their problems, I often think how could you feel this bad when you’ve been gifted with height? I try not to think about it, but I think about it all the time when I go out when I hang out with my friends before I go to bed when I wake up when I go to work when I go to school when I look at my parents when I look at my siblings. It follows me everywhere. I feel small like I don’t matter because I am small and I don’t know how to cope with that because I can’t change it. I’m sure that it’s a big factor for my attention, seeking because. when I’m with my friends that are tall there and noticed, and they do it effortlessly, but for me, I feel like I have to try to be noticed by being a fool I’m self-destructive, because I am insecure when people call me out on my bullshit a double down and I try to find anything that I could use to hurt them. It doesn’t matter if they trusted me with the information and when they are hurt because of me, I don’t care because they make me feel insecure and I try not to let them know that Which makes me look like an even bigger piece of shit because that’s how a lot of people know Me. People either think of me as autistic,a fool, A liar, a narcissist, a piece of shit and attention seeking a little kid or whatever else I don’t know. what do I do 5. What do i do How do I talk with this the loneliness the desperation, the narcissism the empathy, the insecurity how am I supposed to fight that I’ve done a lot of things I’ve isolated myself I’ve tried not to think about it. I’ve poured myself in the weed. I’ve talked about it I’ve cried about it. I’ve written about it, but nothing ever helps in at the end of the day I’m still the same. I don’t want to feel like this anymore I don’t wanna feel hopeless and like I hate myself I don’t wanna feel alone anymore. I don’t know what else to do these last couple of years. I’ve just been ignoring it because I’ve been surrounded by friends but now it’s just me and I can’t help to think about how lonely I am, and how desperate I am for any kind of intimacy I don’t want to get bad like I used to be but I’m kinda afraid that I will because sooner or later If I keep feeling like I am hopelessly alone, I’m gonna start acting reckless like I used to getting depressed but what are you guys think? Any advice or help? I just don’t know where else to turn. Thanks. This is a lot I’m sorry.

I have a 5 year old son, Sam.
Sam gets ill very easily and feels down a lot. He becomes very clingy and tired during these episodes. I don’t need medical advice, we know why this happens and are dealing accordingly.
Anyways, my mom isn’t a very… soft person. She essentially raised me and my brothers to be very strong and independent so my affectionate and cuddly behaviour with my child isn’t something she agrees with. However, he is not her child so she doesn’t say anything.
She invited me and my brothers families for dinner the other night and while we were there, Sam started to feel down and laid down on my lap. He was playing with my nieces (8 and 10) and just stopped and ran to me which surprised them. The girls got over it after my brother told them Sam was tired but my mom seemed moody.
I didn’t want to start anything so I was fine ignoring her but she said “you know that isn’t healthy right?” I explained to her that we know what we’re doing and do not need her advice. She sort of rolled her eyes and then said “Well I still think this is all very odd.” She then clapped her hands near my son’s head to try and wake him up which startled him and he began to cry. This seemed to bother my mom some more because “how weak hearted is he that a small clap brings him to tears.”
I was pretty angry at this point so I called my husband over (he was sitting in the garden with my brothers), told him we were leaving and gave Sam to him while I collected my things. She then started making “jokes” about how her granddaughters are “manlier” than her grandson and I just snapped and told my mom that she needs to shut the fuck up and that the way she treats children is borderline psychotic. I then basically called her crazy before storming out.
My mom’s been spamming me with texts calling me a drama queen and saying that I had no right to call her psychotic because she raised me and my brothers well. She’s also saying I’m missing the point and am too sensitive. My one SIL is saying I should apologize and that there is no reason for me to be so dramatic. AITA?

Sorry if this doesn't make sense English isn't my first language.
2 years ago I moved in with my cousin, her husband, and there 2 kids. All was going, I helped with chores, baby sat for them plenty of times, and even cooked dinner or lunch when they were too tired to cook, I tried my best to be helpful around the house since I didn't have a job, I tried getting a job but every where I went they turned me down. It all went down hill when my other cousin passed away, I was devastated when I got the call from my sister, when I got the call I cried for a while till I fell asleep, when I woke up I just cried more, after I went to bathroom to wash my face, not long after my cousin noticed I was crying and asked if I was okay, I told her that my other cousin passed away and I couldn't even finish my sentence cause of my crying, she comforted me for and told me she was there for me and would do anything I needed from her. I later went to go see how my uncle was doing, my cousin drove me to go see them. I visited my uncle for a bit and went home. My cousin's husband drove me home since she was at work. The next would be planning the funeral. And the day after that they would be moving the body to the church, I had to meet up with my uncle, dad and other family members, so I asked my cousin to drive me, she seemed a little annoyed when she drove me, I felt bad for asking. Next few days family was still planning the funeral. And the night before the funeral I had asked for ride to the funeral, they didn't really answer my question. I couldn't sleep that night, so when it came to the time I should be leaving for the funeral they weren't awake, I waited 20 more minutes for them, still asleep so I decided to walk, it was a 40 minute walk for me. I was hesitant to walk, but I also didn't want to wake them up just for a ride I didn't want to annoy them. I also couldn't ask my dad or uncle for ride as they were already at the church and they don't have service or wifi there. The funeral went by, and before I knew it was 5pm, I had asked my cousin for ride back but she didn't answer . Since she didn't answer me I wait a few hours at the church until one of my other family members was able to drive me home, I got home late and was exhausted so I went straight to bed, I woke up around midnight and just laid there for bit, I couldn't believe that my cousin had passed away, I again was crying, soon later I stopped crying and start scrolling on my phone since I wasn't on it as much that week, and then my cousin walked in my room and asked how the funeral went, I said went fine, and she started a small conversation, that lead her to saying that she wants to spend time with her husband that next morning, she basically hinted that she wanted me to babysit for them the next morning, I was shocked that she said that because I had just gotten home a few hrs before from my other cousin's funeral.But the next morning they didn't do as they planned. A few hours later my mom had texted me and asked if I wanted to go out to eat I said yes, as I thought it would be good for me to get out. I went out to eat with my mom, i went home with leftovers since I couldn't eat all of it. I fell asleep once again when I got home, and only got a few hours of sleep. I had woken up at midnight, I woke up to my cousin and her husband drinking, and there 2 kids watching tv in there room. Mind you this is the night after my cousins funeral, about an hour later my cousin came into my room and had asked me to babysit there kids and make sure they stay in the room, usually I would say yes but I was hesitant to since I was grieving. She said it's okay that I just could hear out the kids and check in on them every 15 minutes, she then left my room, not even 10 minutes later she came back into my room asked me to sit with the kids, again I was hesitant to say yes, but I just said fine since it was alr kate at night and thought the kids would go sleep soon, 1 hour later kids still awake...2 hours later kids still awake...3 hours later kids are still awake...4 hours later kids are still awake... 5 HOURS later kids are finally sleeping. The WHOLE TIME I was with the kids my cousin and her husband were drinking. Safe to say I was pissed, I finally went to sleep too, I woke up late in the afternoon since I was up late babysitting. I was hungry so I went to go heat up my food I had brought home the day before. My cousin walked pasted the kitchen and saw me and came to say hi to me, I said nothing as I was mad at her for basically pushing me to babysit for her while I was grieving, she tried starting a conversation but she noticed I wasn't saying anything to her, she asked if I was okay, I just said nothing and as soon as my food was done heating up I walked away back to my room. I know this may seem childish but I was mad at her for pushing me to babysit for her while she n her husband drink, she knows I can't say not to them. I gave her and her husband the cold shoulder the next few days, up until I went to go visit my uncle, I stayed with him for the night since I need some time away. I didn't plan on staying with him when I went to visit I just did. I usually babysit for them since there work schedules overlap. But I didn't know if I had to babysit that since they didn't tell me if I needed to, so I decided to stay with my uncle for the night. That may have upset my cousin a bit cause when I went back she kept asking what's wrong with me, I said nothing. The next day my sister in-law who is very pregnant started labour. I wanted to be with her since me and her are very close. So I went with my mom to go be there for her. She wasn't dilated enough to give birth yet so we tried walking stairs and walking around all day. That help a little bit, later we went back to my sister-in-laws place so she could rest. While we were at her place I got a text from my cousin, my cousin texted me basically saying that I don't help out, and she gave me a "choice" that I should move out or "help out" more, I was in disbelief I just brust into tears. A few minutes later I had gotten another text from my aunty she had said that my cousin was going around telling people lies about me, I won't say what my cousin was saying about me behind by back since it hurt me she would say that after all I've done for her. I sat there sobbing for what felt like hours, hurt that she would do that to me. I felt like burden sobbing since my sister in law was in the room in early labour. I couldn't help it tho I was just hurt. My sister in law and mom just stood there looking at me, since this was basically the first time in forever they seen me cry like that.I just sat there zoning out, my sister in law stood up for and told my mom what my cousin did to me. My mom didn't say anything. My sister in law went on to say that my cousin shouldn't have done that since I lost my cousin I grew up with. After that my sister in law said I could stay with her. I felt like burden since she was pregnant and could give birth any minute now. But I stayed with her since I didn't know what to do. The next day we went back to the stairs, I stayed on the car since it was close to wifi and I felt like I was gonna have a breakdown. My dad had called me while I was sitting on the car, I told him what happen I couldn't even get through half of it without crying. He told it's going to be okay and to just let it all out, we then talked for bit and I felt better after the call. I went to go see how my sister in law was doing she was tired so went back to her place. She gave birth the next day I was so excited for her , that I forgot what happened with my cousin. But later on my mom pulled me aside and asked what I was gunna do, I told her that I would just move in with my dad. So I did and ever since I did I felt like I have been getting better, but apart of me thinks I should have just talked to my cousin how I was feeling, and what she did upset me, it's just I feel awkward and feel like seeking attention when talking about my feelings. And I feel kind of childish for ignoring her... ever since I moved out I went low contact with her and her husband.
So AITA for not talking to my cousin?

I don't know what to do, so I'm trying to get advice on what I should do. So to make the long story short, I'm six days delayed on my period. I've been breaking down from time to time because I already know the possibility of this. I have already thought of everything. My future. The problems I'm going to face. I haven't even learned to love myself yet, so I don't know how I could love another human being 😭 I have self-esteem issues, I even think I have BDD. Plus I'm so afraid of what people would think of me. Especially my boyfriend's family. I think highly of them and I respect them so much. I'm currently living with them, and I can't bear the thought of telling them. I took a PT it came negative but I think I might have taken the test too early so I will be taking another one after a week. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has shown nothing but support and love for me. He told me that if this is what God has given us, then he would take care of me. 😭 This is making me cry so much more because I just recently joined a group of pro-choices that supports abortion on Facebook. Tbh, I'm not sure of what I'm supposed to do. I've seen a lot of horror stories on pregnancy, especially LABOR and I can't imagine myself going through it. 😭 But I think of my boyfriend and I can see how he's willing to support me through it all. I am so torn right now. I still haven't really gotten the official result but I'm expecting the worst! I'm not really fond of kids. And I still think 25 is too young. Plus, I'm worried I might get depressed so much it would affect people around me. But my boyfriend loves me so much 😭 and I do love him too. I was really aiming to be financially stable first before we start a family. But this is all unexpected. I still have bills to pay. I still play games. I'm just not ready. :(
What will you do if you were in my situation?
Please be kind and gentle with me. I'm just so afraid. Thank you.

Hey guys, (23 M) here
I need to share something incredibly personal and ask for your support during this heartbreaking time. I am completely broken and don't know what to do. My soulmate, My everything, My Boyfriend Jordan (20 M), has been diagnosed with testicular cancer not so long ago. Over the past couple of weeks, I've been closely following up with him, long sleepless nights and tough days. He recently had surgery to remove the tumor, but tragically, a couple of hours ago the cancer has spread to his lymph nodes, and there's nothing more they can do about it, at least what we've been told.
Jordan is far away, being treated for cancer in another country away from me. I've been crying for hours—it's devastating. I'm so helpless and poor and shattered into millions of pieces, and it's killing me that I can't even be with him during this critical time no matter how hard I tried and no matter how much I tried to make him feel better, Calls, Texts just trying to help him keep his mind away from it as much as possible, but it's been really, really hard. And yet No one seems to understand the pain I'm in. Jordan is incredibly special to me, and it's killing me that I can't be there for him.
My vision is worsening more than it already is, and I'm utterly exhausted and broken. I haven't slept in days, and the emotional and physical pain is overwhelming.
I desperately want to be with Jordan during this difficult time, but I simply don't even have the financial means to do so. If anyone could possibly …offer support or assistance, it would mean the world to me. Any help to bring me closer to Jordan in any way possible would be a lifeline right now. Thank you for taking the time to read this and for any support you can provide. <3
https://imgur.com/8IoniIB

I just wanted to make a quick post for those currently struggling.
I (35m) am 6 months post break up, I struggled hard, made tonnes of mistakes chasing the person who didn't want me, staying at their place, going on a trip together continuing to speak to them regularly being confused by their mixed signals and becoming angry when I found myself being weak for them.
3 weeks ago I woke up, went to the gym and found myself crying in the changing room post workout. I knew at this point I had hit the bottom and I was struggling to get out of it on my own, thankfully I live in a country (UK) and have a job that afforded me the opportunity to access a affordable therapist. After one session of just explaining what I was going through the therapist provided me with a piece of insight that switched my mental state : ' you are chasing the feelings you had not the person, the warmth, kindness, loving feeling, not the actual person themself'.
I know this won't resinate with everyone as we all are going through different situations but I hope someone can find a similar relief and clarity that I was able to take from this.
Stay strong and keep fighting it gets better ❤️

"Reality? To me that was reality. I don't know about this place. What makes you certain you won't find yourself tied here, trying to explain yourself to people who look like you? I was pretty sure that was reality. Now, well now I just don't care. This is all a dream, so do whatever you want to me. I'm not kissing the cross. Just light the pyre." Shawna told the nogs. They shuffled forward on their trunklike legs, one of them offering her a cross with a figure of a crucified nog with a golden crown and its lips puckered.
"I said I'm not kissing it. Burn me." Shawna grimaced at the horrid little nog. The nogs shrugged in unison and lifted the buckets of icy cold water at their feet. One by one they walked up to her and doused her in cold water, soaking her t-shirt and hair and making her shiver and blow water off her lips while the rest ran down her chin.
"Is she dead?" One of the nog asked.
One of them shuffled forward and waved its hands back and forth in front of her staring, lifeless eyes. "No reaction." the nog confirmed. They'd done it, they'd finally slain the Wicked Witch of the Stars. Some of the Ethgar were saddened, crying big sticky nog tears that left streaks on their faces.
Shawna held perfectly still, trying not to laugh. They really thought she was dead, they thought they'd burned her alive with their buckets of cold water. Stupid nogs, just a few moments longer and she could break free from their braided bonds and be on her way, richer than John Godson.
"I just worry her soul wont reach the Likeliness, We should hold the jesus-nog to her lips, just to be sure." A nasty little Ethgar suggested.
"We should all just shuffle off." Shawna tried some ventriloquism.
"Who said that?" Ethgar were asking each other. The nogs suddenly all looked back at Shawna, their little devil eyes glowing in the starlight.
"Oh fiddle cakes!" Shawna swore.
She didn't usually use such foul language, but she was at her wits end with the Ethgar. First, their ridiculous test of faith to learn about Red Raven, and the treasure of the Seven Wonders. Then she had to climb Mount Velvet while nogs slung biffy sludge from their blow tubes while singing insults to her. With her knuckles bloodied and fitz in her hair, she'd reached the summit only to be accused of heresy, for she'd forgotten to remove her shoes. She'd have to climb the whole mountain again, just as penance.
After the six recitals of the Bindinfingin's half a dozen holy books, the extinct lizards granted her a one-hour library pass in their sacred underground grottos. Was it enough time to memorize enough of their holy scripture to be able to compete in the junior nog bible quotation contest and become a wearer of the golden crown of the most kissable-crucifiable? It was, because Shawna really applied herself and memorized no fewer than three verses, which was two more than any junior nog had ever quoted. With the golden crown on her head, she could at last learn the last part of the legend of Red Raven, and find out where the treasure was hidden.
Wealth unimaginable, seven wonders, that's a lot of moolah.
Bindinfingin ghost-holograms followed her around with sad expressions. The long dead intelligences expected better of her.
"We've waited your return for fourteen thousand trine. Red Raven will you not reveal at last the eighth wonder? We have so waited to know the final answer." The Bindinfingin said to Shawna, but she ignored them. They almost sounded like they thought she was someone else and that the treasure was one of those 'the treasure was the adventure' or 'the treasure was really just friendship' or someshit.
Shawna wasn't going to eat an adventure-friendship treasure, not after the nog figurine got smoochies from her. "Jesus, give me the strength of patience not to kick all these nogs."
"Do dead humans talk?" A nog asked.
They began arguing and discussing whether humans could talk when they were dead. Shawna put her two cents in, insisting that she could indeed talk while she was dead.
"Thou shalt not speak to the dead." A nog zealot drew his putty maker. Others pulled out their blow tubes, spit ball launchers and bald makers. One or two had forgot to pack weapons to the witch burning ceremony, but scooped up some dirt into their empty buckets.
"Thou shalt not fart from thy mouth." Shawna said in the dark, mimicking a nog-sounding voice. Then, as she blew a raspberry, the nogs went berserk. They had divided into two groups, each with opposing religious views, although none of them were sure what religious view the group they were divided into was seeing. The sound of the raspberry was like a starting bell, and within minutes the nogs had annihilated themselves, dead nogs scattered everywhere. The last of them finished itself off. Nogs were perfectionists.
"Now for that treasure." Shawna said gleefully. She followed the path through the empty nog village and found their sacred grotto. It was unguarded, and at last, she'd done it, found what she was always told wasn't even real.
"Reality, Shawna." A familiar voice said from the silent swamps all around.
"Who said that?" She asked.
"Reality is the treasure. I just want you to come back to me. I know you're in there. I can feel you dreaming."
Shawna shook her head. "I know what's real."
A few glowing bugs floated lazily on the air past her, going off to some hollow log to party. Shawna felt watched, like someone was holding her hand. It was going to be good, when she didn't find the treasure, what a weird feeling. Shawna shook it off. The treasure was hers.
"You think you can take my treasure?" The space pirate captain's hologramatic ghost stood in her way.
"So, you're Red Raven. Notorious brigand, mutineer and baroness. I'm here for your treasure, I knew it was real, I knew it all along." Shawna smirked. "The aliens, they worshipped you, but I know you're just a criminal." Shawna told her. "You even almost had me fooled with the Bindinfingin holograms making this sound like some sort of morality scam."
"Yet you made it all the way here." Red Raven smiled, proud of Shawna.
"Of course I did. You think I don't know what's real and what isn't?" Shawna laughed.
"The treasure is real. You just have to go through that door and accept what's on the other side." Red Raven pointed. "It's the treasure."
"See? You're still trying to psych me out. I'm abouts to be richer than John Godson. Sick of this." Shawna grabbed the handle, but something felt wrong.
"Just go through." Red Raven urged her.
"I can't." Shawna felt her eyes watering. "I just want to stay here. I'm not ready."
"You'll never be ready to be rich like John Godson. Nobody ever is. Just go in there already. I gots to get my wings, Shawna." Red Raven made 'go on in' gestures, shooing Shawna with the backs of her hands waving up at her.
"If this is any kind of treasure that isn't money, I swear I'm coming back here for you, and even though you're dead, I'll choke you out anyway." Shawna told Red Raven.
"Yes-yes, all that. Now go through already, the hour draws late." Red Raven seemed to have unlimited patience, despite her efforts to urge Shawna into the treasure behind the weird creepy disembodied door floating in the swamp. The door that looked suspiciously like her bedroom door as a child, growing up. Not liking this one bit, no sir.
Shawna took a deep breath, closed her eyes, turned the handle and went through.

Kind of a long post, sorry. I (24f) met this girl (24f) online with the hopes of just exploring my sexuality. Before we knew it we talked all day, everyday, and she quickly became the highlight of my day. It’s important to include that she has never been in a relationship. When we first started talking she told me that she had a couple of men that she gets money from (sugar daddies, she’s a Miami girl if that makes sense) and when I inquired more about it she told me that it never progressed past a quick chat or grabbing food with them, since we were not in a relationship I didn’t mind that. I suggested plenty of times that we should just be friends with benefits and play the field but she always assured me that she didn’t want that and how deeply she felt for me. I wasn’t in any rush to put a title on things but she always told me that I was the only one she was “talking” to and of course she was the only one I was talking to as well. About a month later she links up with a guy everyday, all day, in the hotel together, going out, cooking together, for like 4 days straight and we barely talked (she used her location and other things to prove that she wasn’t staying there with him). She tried to assure me that nothing happened with them and it’s just part of the game, according to her they weren’t at the hotel the entire time and he was taking her places to do/buy whatever she wanted, but I sent her a voice audio cutting her off anyway cause clearly she’s playing me. I was super sad about it and one of her friends ended up reaching out to me and you can guess that we ended up back on speaking terms as “friends” this time which quickly led back to us talking and flirting per usual. She explained that she was just being selfish and wasn’t moving with intention since she’s never been in this situation before, that her and the guy never had sex or anything, and that she was sorry, she said she never wanted to lose me and wouldn’t mess up again. (Ik I sound like a clown) Fast forward to a few weeks later, her birthday comes and she tells me that she wants the hotel guy to take her out of town, which makes me distant from her cause wtf, but I don’t mention anything cause it’s her birthday. She sensed the distance so when she asked me about it the day after, I told her I was done allowing her to play with me and clearly that’s her intention. We go back and forth, she begs me not to, but I cut her off anyway. The next week she sends me flowers, food, and sweet things so I call to say thank you and we talked again. After a few days of talking I tell her I wanna either work things out or leave each other alone completely, but to do that I have a list of things I wanna go through, starting with her and the hotel guy messages (because I felt like she was lying). She showed me the messages, which showed that she linked up with him everyday the week before her birthday, although she had previously told me that the last time she had seen him was the hotel situation. I immediately went off on her (she was crying and apologetic still trying to convince me that nothing happened between them), she begged and pleaded, offering to do anything, but I cut her off and blocked her and her friends on everything. Over the next week she texted me from a few texting apps (I ignored them the first 5 days) asking to talk and once we did, she apologized and told me that she never intended to hurt me and doesn’t want me to hate her. She said that she feared not being good enough and overthought about our situation, which led her to do the things she’s used to doing because it’s easy to use men for money with no feelings attached, rather than be vulnerable with her feelings for me and potentially get hurt. We talked for a couple of hours (both expressing our feelings about everything) but I told her that I still want nothing to do with her and ended the conversation. I take accountability for being delusional to think it could ever work, I am a hopelessly romantic lover girl but I am also so hurt that she would lie to me and play so many games. I was open with her, I felt like we had such an intense connection just to find out that she likely had been fucking this guy the entire time. Since she lied about seeing him I feel like everything about her is a lie and it just feels shitty. It’s been 2 weeks since it happened and I cry everyday. I feel like a fool, especially cause I miss her so much and feel so empty.

So my protagonist is a human who was adopted as a baby by the king and queen of the Nature Fairy kingdom. The protagonist has feelings of not truly being their family despite his parents being nothing but loving, because everyone points out how he’s the adopted son and not truly royal like his 3 older sister’s. So how this curse is broken I thought would help him conquer these feelings.
So the Nature Fairy king is poisoned with the “Blood Red Roses” curse by his younger brother who wants the throne and hates how his brother has been ruling the Spring Court. This curse has rose vines growing out of him blooming 7 white roses. Once the all the roses turn red he’ll die. The only way to break the curse is if a child of his waters the roses with their tears. But his brother took his 3 nieces away to prevent that from happening in the guise of a Royal meeting.
The MC tries everything to help trying to call his sisters but nothing works. He watches as his father is dying and starts to cry his tears making the roses blue and fade away. His father then smiles and says “I told you, you were my boy.” And he hugs his dad glad he’s ok.
I wanted to do this to show how just because they aren’t biological doesn’t mean they’re not truly family. I just wanted to see if you think this will be ok with the readers since magic is involved.