Cat disection vascular

Cross posted on askvet
I know that remission doesn’t mean she doesn’t have cancer, just that it is no longer causing symptoms/cannot be actively detected. I suspect if they took a sample of her lymph nodes they might still find some abnormal cells where the tumor was. Who knows though. I know curing something like lymphoma is unlikely if not impossible but I can’t help hoping that her responding this well to treatment bodes well for her overall prognosis/chances of having a long remission. I want to be delusional and hope it means she can be cured of it, even though I know lymphoma can’t really be cured.
Is responding/remission this quickly normal? I feel like I’m getting whiplash as she was actively dying just two weeks ago. It was suspected to be high grade as well from the way it behaved and how quickly it onset. I don’t know what this means for the CHOP protocol, either. I presume we will still continue it to the end to ensure the cancer is gone as long as possible.
Og post below
6 y/o dsh spayed cat, diagnosed with suspected large cell lymphoma due to a sudden tumor that had appeared in her neck lymph nodes. Other lymph nodes by the end of this week had started to become a little swollen as well, though not extensively/excessively large. US guided fine needle aspirate came back positive for lymph cells, most large, and before treatment it had begun to affect her breathing from where it was pressing. X rays performed the week after starting treatment showed no abnormalities or masses anywhere.
Outside of that, she’d had no symptoms at all. Otherwise healthy and up to date on her vaccines.
Here’s what the vet wrote regarding the fine needle aspirate and ultrasound from before treatment:
large heterogenous, extensively vascularized cranioventral cervical mass measuring 3.5 x 4cm 5/7/24 CBC: HCT 27.5, neuts 8.07, platelets adequate Chem: NSF; T4 2.5 FNA of cervical mass- cytology- consistent with a LN; high suggestive of malignant lymphoma- most of the lymphoid cells are intermediate to large in size
From what I understand (but I hadn’t had time to ask) We are still going to be treating her to make sure the cancer doesn’t come back but given the symptoms she presented with (the only symptoms were her tumor and the swelling in her lymph nodes) the vet said that there’s no sign of the cancer from her symptoms and that she’s in remission already.
Obviously this is awesome news but I’m skeptical to hope because it seems too good to be true after how sudden and intense that scare was and how she’s been having some gastrointestinal issues all week from the last chemo treatment. I don’t know much about cancer especially not in cats.
Is this normal?? Do we do the entire CHOP protocol still? And — dare I to hope — does this bode well for her length of prognosis/chances of coming out of remission and getting cancer again?

6 y/o dsh spayed cat, diagnosed with suspected large cell lymphoma due to a sudden tumor that had appeared in her neck lymph nodes. Other lymph nodes by the end of this week had started to become a little swollen as well, though not extensively/excessively large. US guided fine needle aspirate came back positive for lymph cells, most large, and before treatment it had begun to affect her breathing from where it was pressing. X rays performed the week after starting treatment showed no abnormalities or masses anywhere.
Outside of that, she’d had no symptoms at all. Otherwise healthy and up to date on her vaccines.
Here’s what the vet wrote regarding the fine needle aspirate and ultrasound from before treatment:
large heterogenous, extensively vascularized cranioventral cervical mass measuring 3.5 x 4cm 5/7/24 CBC: HCT 27.5, neuts 8.07, platelets adequate Chem: NSF; T4 2.5 FNA of cervical mass- cytology- consistent with a LN; high suggestive of malignant lymphoma- most of the lymphoid cells are intermediate to large in size
From what I understand (but I hadn’t had time to ask) We are still going to be treating her to make sure the cancer doesn’t come back but given the symptoms she presented with (the only symptoms were her tumor and the swelling in her lymph nodes) the vet said that there’s no sign of the cancer from her symptoms and that she’s in remission already.
Obviously this is awesome news but I’m skeptical to hope because it seems too good to be true after how sudden and intense that scare was and how she’s been having some gastrointestinal issues all week from the last chemo treatment. I don’t know much about cancer especially not in cats.
Is this normal?? Do we do the entire CHOP protocol still? And — dare I to hope — does this bode well for her length of prognosis/chances of coming out of remission and getting cancer again?

Chapter 2
We rushed out the busted front door, made our way around the building, and sprinted to the back of the parking lot. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him standing in front of the entrance to the alley. The whole thing was strange and surreal. He looked more like a silhouette than an actual person. Confusion preyed upon my subconscious mind. Rancor loomed in the air like a polluted cloud. I instinctively backed away from the threat and mentally prepared myself for the worst.
He stood there with his back turned to us not moving a muscle. Even the wind seemed to have little effect, as not one article of clothing so much as shifted. Trying to put into words what I saw was like trying to climb a wall of insurmountable thoughts. A preposterous topic that would have made for an odd conversation piece amongst friends if I hadn’t found myself standing there as an unwilling participant in this twisted theatre.
A terrible feeling gnawed away at my psyche when I bravely strayed away from the shadows. I wanted to be closer to Jake, but once again, my sixth sense kicked in, and alarm bells started ringing in my head. I quickly realized how bad of an idea that was and looked for the nearest place to hide. I wasn’t a fighter. Neither was I in some cheesy action flick where the bureaucrat suddenly gains the ability to fight. No. This was real life and if I made the wrong move, I was a dead vampire.
And with that awful thought in mind, I quickly did an about face and dashed behind the nearest vehicle. After sighing in a sad state of relief, I peeked over the hood of my not so clever hiding spot. And boy was I relieved to see Jake standing his ground against that thing who was staring back at us like two rats caught in its iron cage. “This isn’t good,” I muttered to myself as a million ways to be eviscerated invaded my thoughts.
Damn. Even in what was arguably my greatest moment of uncertainty, I was curious to see if his fighting skills matched his bravado. Or if he was indeed all bark and no bite like I suspected. Oh boy, if he was then we were in for one bumpy ass ride I thought to myself. The more I thought about it, the more I began to appreciate the absolute dreadfulness of it all.
Jake bravely marched on until he was a stone’s throw away from whoever this was. His voice was cool and easy, but I could sense the anger boiling just beneath the surface, waiting to explode:
“What’s your name?”
“Vektor.”
“Alright, V. Who sent you?”
“Heh. Let’s play a game.”
“What kind of game?”
“If you can figure out who sent me, I won’t kill you slowly,” he rasped sinisterly.
His voice sounded strange and muffled through the ninja mask. I-I don’t know. All I know is that I had to fight like mad to stop my mind from sinking deeper into that warm and fuzzy place called fear and panic. All I wanted to do right now, was slink back home, sink into my snug bean bag chair, and cuddle next to my cat Beatie. I swear. Some of the things I was forced to partake in as a vampire were sickening. Ugh. Gross. The whole affair made me want to scream out “Enough already”!
But on the darker hand, I knew how significant of a situation this was. That I couldn’t possibly be thinking about returning to my benefactor emptyhanded. He might seem extremely reserved and polite, but come on, we all knew who his father was. That’s right. That same scornful, demonic blood coursed through his veins. Eh. The thought made my knees buckle and my stomach queasy.
Jake looked over at me and frowned. I don’t know if he did it out of genuine concern or annoyance at the fact that I was here. He didn’t say anything, and I wasn’t about to say anything. Instead, he turned his attention back to Vektor and said in a very matter-of-fact tone, “It’s her sneaky ass ‘benefactor’ ain’t it?”
“Strike one.”
“Damn. I just knew it was him. If it ain’t him, who else could it be? It must be them weak ass Cash Cowboyz who hired you to do their dirty work?”
“Strike two.”
“Lyrael!” I hollered.
“Who?” Jake asked.
“The Devil! That’s who sent you isn’t it?” I asked him, fearing the answer. Last thing I needed was to be caught up in anything that involved the Dragon. He was a monster who knew only one thing. And that one thing had twisted and tainted the world in red: Fire at the cost of redemption. Sin at the cost of salvation.
“That’s cheating,” Vektor bellowed.
Jake glowered at him and said, “So what. You didn’t say who had to answer. You just said it had to be correct. Next time be more accurate, playboy.”
“I’ll show you why it’s not a good idea to mock me. I’m going to teach you to never underestimate your foe. Especially one who has a trick up his sleeve.”
“Oh yeah? Is that right?” he asked with a look of relish in his eyes at the thought of battle.
I peeked over the car again just to make sure I was seeing this right. His look of confidence had turned into something difficult to explain. He was staring at me with an expression that screamed, “Whatever you do, do not look behind you.” Well, I looked back, almost out of instinct, and saw what had him so startled.
Oh God, it was him! The smell... It hit me as hard as the dreadful sight. Oh, and when I say “him,” what I really mean is that I was assailed by my assailant’s clone or some other impossibility of sorts. I don’t know. I-I didn’t have time to think. I know it sounds silly, but I-I honestly don’t know how else to describe what happened to me! He was standing in two places at once! The fear was paralyzing and electrifying in the most terrifying way describable. That I do know for sure. Another thing I know for sure is that when I tried to run I couldn’t. For some reason my legs felt like they were chained down to the pavement. I just stood there petrified and gazing stupidly upon the thing that looked like it hated my existence.
Vektor, or his shadow, or whatever this thing was. It grabbed me by the neck and lifted me off my feet, choking the life out of me in the process. It turned its head a full one hundred and eighty degrees and then asked Jake, “Would you trade your life for hers?”
“Why would I do that?” he scoffed.
“It’s a test to prove your worth.”
“Heh. Never did good on tests.”
“Hah! You feel powerless?”
“Why would you say that?”
“I could snuff out her life and there’s nothing you can do about it. I will let her live if you do the noble thing. If you give your life, I’ll set her free. Oh, and you can trust me. I never ever break my promises.”
“Aye, this ain’t the movies, my guy. Chill with all the supervillain talk. It ain’t cool.”
“Defiance will get you nowhere.”
“Just stop talking to me.”
“What did you say?!”
“I said that bull don’t work in the hood. Been there done that, my guy. You gotta come way harder than that if you trying to put the fear of God in me.”
“Fine, her life it is!”
The fitful anger in his voice matched the intensity of his squeeze. I-I could barely keep my eyes open. I-I could feel his nails digging into my throat. It was awful. It was inescapable. It was unbearable. I thrashed about which did nothing but zap what little strength I had left. I... I couldn’t fight it anymore. It was over. I closed my eyes and cursed Jake for selling me out.
Just then I felt a slight and sudden shift in the wind. It was so subtle I almost missed it. What I saw out the corner of my eye brought instant relief to my battered senses. Jake had dashed next to Vektor. But instead of saving me, like a gentleman, he of course had to make a vulgar, unflattering remark about strangulation.
It should have been evident from my insufferable predicament that he was right and that he didn’t need to go on about it like a bloke. Yes! “It took a helluva lot of effort and struggle to strangle the life out of someone, especially another vampire.” Yes! “It might be super painful for the victim and ultra fulfilling for the assassin, but it was also excruciatingly slow, and so counterintuitive of a kill method it was reserved for lunatics and barbarians.” These were all true statements made by my supposed savior.
And that was my assailant’s mistake, summoned up so “eloquently” by Jake. He had given him too much time to counter his assault by deciding upon strangulation as my method of execution.
Jake cocked his arm back and smote him in the ribcage. The blow scattered the duplicate that had a death grip on my neck into a thick swarm of flies. There were so many of them they blotted out the sun. I fell to my knees and began to gasp. He was right, it might take longer than the movies let on, but damn did almost being strangled to death hurt like hell. My neck was on fire. My arms wouldn’t stop shaking out of a combination of pain and panic. I had to stop myself from falling on my face several times.
Jake was about to ask me if I was okay, but before he could, he back away and shouted, “Oh, bleep!” when the blinding swarm of flies wheeled around and encircled me. I-I couldn’t move. I-I could barely breathe. It felt like I had been encased in cement. Every second I spent in that prison was damnation. I started to go mad. Oh, and the smell was unlike anything. Oh God. Curse the sensation of a million flies, buzzing, prodding, picking, crawling all over me. My worst nightmare had come true. I tried to reach my arms out to Jake. I tried like mad to bring about my salvation, but I-I couldn’t. I-I just couldn’t squeeze the words out. I’m sure the frightful flash in my eyes gave away what agony refused to convey.
He saw my pain and was about to reach out to me, but then Vektor spoke once more. His words even more chilling and soul-crushing than before: “Now, Mr. Superhero. I’m going to ask you one more time to choose.”
Jake looked at his fist and then over at Vektor, who was still standing there in the same spot, with his back turned to us. He was practically taunting us at this point with his frightening ability. I will never understand how he managed to usher so much grief and havoc into my world without so much as moving an inch.
I thought about my life... About how I never wanted any of this! What could I have done differently? I was born a vampire. I was born into this twisted cycle of sadness and madness. No. I-I had to pull myself out of this sinking feeling. I had to remain strong and put my faith in Jake. He might be a lot of things, but if my benefactor trusted him, I trusted him. My benefactor was way too strong of a vampire lord to keep the company of fools.
Jake left me there. The look in his eyes told me that he hadn’t given up on me. He marched over to the maniac, cracked his knuckles, and inquired upon an alternative, “What if I choose a third option?”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“There is no—"
He smashed him in the back with a brutal punch. The noise his fist made as it connected sounded like a wrecking ball colliding into the side of a large building. The flies shielding Vektor scattered, revealing that he had been facing us this entire time.
Vektor gripped his stomach and fell to a knee. His eyes bulged as shock overtook his senses. He tried to speak, but the pain wouldn’t allow him.
Jake stared at his smoldering fist. He was surprised at how crunchy and heavy the impact was. His suspicion had been confirmed. The flies that covered him were somehow stronger than normal. Not only that but they acted as some kind of living armor. A shell that would have been impossible for the average vampire to crack.
Jake staggered back and watched in horror as the flies that covered Vektor’s face scattered. What was left was a raw, gnawed, gaunt deformity. He removed his ninja mask, and retched a thick, sludge-like expectoration from his distended mouth. The toxic, bloody, jelly-like substance congealed into an endless swarm of flies after splashing onto the ground in front of him.
The flies took to the sky and formed into this giant, heaping mass of destruction. They quickly encircled their victim as if they were performing a delicate dance of blades. The black mist ensnared him like a deadly storm. It happened before he could react. The horde forced him down to a knee with a wind velocity similar to a moderate tornado. All he could do was shield his face with his arms and do his best to remain strong in the face of pestilence. Flies clumped to his arms like a thousand tiny scabs. He tried to stand but the confusion was too much to overcome. For a moment there, I thought he was going to scream in horror. He had been overwhelmed, but instead of allowing defeat to settle in, he steadied his mind. And like something straight out of a movie, he staggered to his feet, despite everything that stood against him.
Vektor dashed towards the beleaguered champion and dropkicked him. Jake absorbed most of the damage with his arms. The force was tremendous and nearly knocked him off his feet. Jake’s strength was jaw-dropping. He refused to bend or break from a strike so violent and perfectly placed, it would have crushed anyone else. The inertia caused him to slide back, leaving drag marks in the concrete as his feet gave ground.
Vektor shrieked in a toxic fit of bleak anger. He scowled and howled wildly while gripping his arm in pain. I couldn’t freaking believe what I was seeing! The lower half of his arm twisted and contorted. He cried out in misery as his mutilated arm mutated into a malodourous blade of malady. Flies dripped from the putrid coagulation like purge fluid leaking from a gassy, greasy, bacteria infected corpse. His blade of living flies feasted on necrotized flesh all the way up to the elbow of his quivering hand and forearm like a fetid, flesh-eating, fasciitis fueled by necrotic despair and parasitic hunger.
Jake was still recovering from the last assault when he struck again. He thrust his bile blade into his chest and a thousand hardened flies crashed into what sounded like plate armor. The unexpected impact caused Vektor to stumble back. He gawked at his bleak blade in confusion. Surprised to see that it had broken in half.
Jake looked down at his chest, counted his blessings, and then smirked. He tore his shirt off and revealed what looked like ancient armor. He tapped the spot where Vektor had struck and bragged about how he’s been wearing his trusty “weighted vest” for years.
Vektor was incensed. Hatred oozed from his mouth when he screamed, “How did you get that?! That isn’t a weighted vest you maggot! It’s a Harness of Sin!”
“It’s funny you say that. That’s the same thing that one fallen angel said. What’s his name? Oh, yeah, Jurael. What a freak. He even had that same dumb ass look on his face right before we poured him out.”
“Who gave that to you?!”
“My guardian angel,” he joked.
“If you’re that strong with it on then...”
Jake’s smile altered into a wolfish sneer. He nodded along and said, “Now you’re starting to get the picture. I can take it off if you want—give you a demonstration?”
“No! No! Stop!”
“Fair enough.”
“You still haven’t won.”
“Look, homie. I’m going to ask you one last time to let her go. I’m not in the mood for games. I was having a good time with the bros before you came along and ruined it. I would hate to have to take my anger out on you.”
“Never! I’ll kill her!”
“Your funeral, pal.”
“You may be stronger than I thought, but I still have the upper hand. Take one more step, and I’ll have my little minions break every bone in her body.”
“Oh yeah? You’d do that?”
“Try me, you arrogant fool!”
“I got another secret.”
“You’re stalling.”
“Nah, I’m serious.”
“What’s your secret?”
“I ain’t even turned yet.”
“Impossible! You’re bluffing!”
“See. My fangs are still retracted.”
Jake raised his hand and glared into the eyes of his rattled foe. His knuckles cracked loudly when he tightened his hand into a fist. The varicose veins in his arms looked like rivets that had been hammered into steel. The ground around him shifted ever so slightly. His power was undeniable. Muscles twitched and tightened into the same impenetrable stone walls that had protected Constantinople from the Turks. His strength was a testament to barbarity and torturous training. He stood before his foe like the thunder god, Zues, slayer of Titans.
I started to panic and thrash about. Flies crawled into my ears, irritated the inside of my nose, and made me feel completely uncomfortable in my own skin. The most terrifying part about the whole ordeal was feeling them worm their way into my mouth. Ugh! The sensation of soggy, retching, disease-ridden foreign bodies squirming and wiggling their way down my throat, with the sluggishness and consistency of slime still gives me chills.
I cried, choked, and gagged, only to repeat the cruel process again and again until my spirit had nearly been broken. I tried to scream, but instead I violently vomited up a thick glob of slob mixed with blood and insect parts. It was a humiliating nightmare made even worse by the fact that Jake was my only hope. He had to do something to make it stop. He simply had to because if this torture went on any longer, I was a goner for sure.
Jake channeled his power and allowed the vampire side to fully take over. His transformation was unlike anything I had ever witnessed. I could feel the sudden surge in strength. It shook the cars and made the ground tremble under me. He was shredded to the bone, possessed monstrous muscle maturity, and eyepopping vascularity.
He dashed in front of Vektor before he could react and landed a bone crushing uppercut that sent him flying. He bounced off the side of the second story building, right next to the strip club, and came crashing down like a boulder. Dust and debris flew everywhere. The sight was chilling and absolutely awe inspiring.
Instead of following up his assault with a victorious smite, he just stood there, stretching his neck muscles while admiring the devastation he had wrought upon the battlefield. He flexed his bicep muscle, showing off the ripped arm he had used to rain down justice.
He snarled and snorted like a grizzly on the prowl. There was nothing his opponent could do but pray that he didn’t become his next meal:
“I heard about that little ‘Black Church’ you come from. About how ‘terrible’ and ‘unforgiving’ your training is. Heh. You think you know what it’s like to train under brutal conditions, huh? This... Harness of Sin... it was worn by the Devil himself after his defeat, am I right? All of them (the fallen angels) had to wear one.
“This harness is so heavy it weighed them down to the point where they couldn’t cause anymore mischief. It prevented them from flying, which is the worst thing you can do to a group of proud angels. They remained like that for God knows how long: imprisoned, marred, shamefully defeated. Until finally, they were thrown out of one misery and into another one. Lyrael and all the angels he had led astray were tossed from the very same heavens they had fought so hard to conquer.
“That’s right. You think you know pain, but you don’t. All you know is the dark side of agony. A broken lackey like you doesn’t stand a chance against me. Now limp back to your stupid little torture-chamber church. When you get there, tell Lucy to send somebody worth their salt the next time he wants to test my strength. And maybe... just maybe, I’ll break a bleeping sweat.”
The flies loosened their hold upon me at the very moment the blow was inflicted upon their master. It was like they knew something was amiss. They untwisted and uncoiled from around my body without a moment to spare. I would’ve died if my misery would’ve lasted any longer. And because of that, I thanked the Blood Goddess for saving my life. It was the only thing I could think to do to stop myself from having a panic attack. My eyes swelled with anger. It felt like I had survived hell. Having what seemed like an endless tide of insects crawling all over every inch of my body like that. Ugh! It was far and away the worst, most violating experience ever.
He sent out a distress call to his precious pestilence. They listened to the eerie screech and made their way back home. The insects encased him almost like they had me. But instead of torment, they provided him with protection. They encased every inch of his body in some form of symbiotic armor. It was disgusting in every way imaginable. The encrusted, corroded cuticle mutilated and molted his sickly skin. Every quiver and thrust were followed by hollow screams and shattered bones. The flies had mutated his body into a giant, human-like insectoid that was at least several feet tall.
His living breathing armor was a metallic black color that gleamed with the same fiery intensity as sapphire. It was as viscous a substance that one would expect to stick and fuse with flesh and organs so firmly. Somehow, through millions of years of evolution, the exoskeleton enhanced his mobility and fluidity while covering him in a dense, textural armor similar to chitin.
He spread his ironclad insect wings that were on his jagged thorax. They snipped and zipped through the wind like two giant steampunk propellers. His compound eyes were large and oval. The exoskeleton mimicked the black, hardened pleats and hairy, braided creases that safeguarded a fly under near perfect protection.
Worse yet was the haunting echoes, grinding, and oozing noises that escaped from its dripping mouthparts with each coagulated regurgitation upon its fuzzy antennae. The sight was as ungodly an image that comes to mind when thinking of ungodly things. He was wretched. Wicked and low. A vampire who masked himself in depravity.
I nearly vomited all over my blouse when he vomited this syrupy saliva-like concoction all over his forelegs. The soupy, sticky goop congealed like marmalade. He took this secretion and rubbed it over his eyes. The sight was disgusting and left me hating him even more.
He smirked and snickered like a maniac. Then he took flight and taunted Jake with his blistering speed. He was fast. Way faster than before. He buzzed around Jake’s head several times until he found the perfect moment to strike. His attack caught Jake completely off guard.
It was such a perfectly timed strike I couldn’t help but wince. The thought of running away crossed my mind. But I knew in my heart that if he died, if Vektor was to take down this giant slayer of a vampire, he was going to come after me next and I was dead. I took a breath and steadied my nerves. I had to be ready for the unthinkable. For that nightmare scenario fueled by fear.
Each blow was crushing and pushed him back several inches. He had his arms crossed and defended himself admirably, but at this rate it was only a matter of time before he lowered his guard. And that was what his vile foe was waiting for. He wanted to break his spirit so he could finish him off with a death strike.
Vektor landed a few feet away from me. I-I was too petrified to even shiver. The smell of rot and death hung in the sky. It was sickening to the stomach to even be around someone so foul and freakish. Thankfully, he didn’t even look my way. He was focused solely on his target. So much so, he hunched over on all six legs and cackled in as unnatural a manner as conceivable. He had Jake right where we wanted him. He warned him that this was it. That this ‘final strike’ would destroy him.
When he saw Jake brace himself for the inevitable, he cackled even louder and announced that it was no use. He told him that, “You might be strong, but strength isn’t the only thing! You should have listened to me when I told you, you were going to die, you arrogant cretin!”
I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. I had to know how it would end even at the cost of my life. And so, I watched on in horror as the smell of sewage writhed its way through my nostrils. He expectorated a gelatinous, slimy, milky film of sticky salvia, along with other slushy, repugnant regurgitations from his spongy, hairy probiscis. He used the filmy, fuming waste to fuse his forelegs into an odious fetid blade of pestilence and odium.
His insectoid wings buzzed, and his halteres oscillated rapidly, which allowed him greater balance, sensory, and range of motion while hovering in the air at such breakneck speeds. He mustered what must’ve been all his strength and flew towards Jake. The viciousness and velocity knocked me back, causing my back to slam into the vehicle behind me. The car alarm blasted into my ears, causing me a brief bit disorientation.
My vision slowly returned to me after becoming blurry as my brain rattled around in my skull. I quickly looked over in the direction I last saw them and couldn’t believe my eyes. What I was witnessing... No! There was no freaking way! In the short amount of time, it had taken me to regain my bearings, the tides of battle had shifted.
I covered my ears as a noise that was as mythic and terrific as thunder rang down from the heavens. The smite shook the ground like a celestial war hammer wielded by a Holy (Paladin) guardian angel commander. Jake had all but conquered his foe with a devastating smote that sang the “Cries of the Fallen” into the Hall of Heroes. Using only brute force he had smashed his way to victory against all odds and reason. Damn. I guess he was right. Power in the form of strength would forever reign supreme.
He had Vektor firmly gripped by the throat. The veins and muscles in his arms popped and pulsated with wild energy. I could hear him crushing his foe’s neck as his grip tightened. He held on to his victim until he lowered his wings and the will to fight had completely fled his spirit. Only then, when he saw that sweet look of defeat in his opponent’s eyes did he hold back.
“No way this is happening,” my mind kept repeating as I witnessed what had to be a fever dream. Somehow, he had stopped Vektor’s “final attack” without breaking a sweat. It was quite a sight to behold. His savage nature... I-I had only ever seen it in our fallen masters. It was an untamed power filled with rage and ruin.
His flowing, blonde hair fluttered in the wind. His shredded physique was that of a Greek demigod. He stood there like a demon, who could only be brought down by an archangel. His blue eyes glowed with the heat of bloodshed and battle. A wild, Grendel-like grin took hold of his expression. He raised his conquered foe even higher, as if he was Hercules, standing atop Mount Olympus, lifting a meager offering before Jupitar for immolation:
“You evil vampires and your stupid tricks. Heh! I told you. Strength is the only thing that matters! Tricks are for kids and for punks like you.”
Jake let go, took a step back, and watched scornfully as his foe collapsed to his knees. He raised his arm above him and tightened his hand into a fist. He was in insane condition. He had muscles on top of muscles. In that moment, he was a rippled, veiny, masterpiece of iron and stone, who had been forged by the furnace of fate into the image of Thunor. He raised his mythical war hammer towards Valhalla and gave his vanquished foe a moment to gather up what last few words he might have had before he was to be sundered by a thunderstrike in the name of Odin.
“The pain...”
“What about it?” Jake snarled.
“It’s unimaginable.”
“Why is that?”
“The flies.”
“Dammit. It makes sense now,” Jake muttered while lowering his arm, unstiffening his muscles, and allowing his dense mind to stumble upon an epiphany he should have already known. “Wait, that’s why the flies are so strong. You let them feed on your vampire blood.”
“You just figured that out?”
“Bleep. I can only imagine being harvested on day in and day out with no end in sight.”
“I can’t sleep... I can’t think. Every waking moment is consumed by pain. I was born into the Black Church. And now, I will die never knowing a moment of relief from this... this all-consuming agony.”
“Dude. Stick to the script.”
“I-I do not understand?”
“I can’t kill you if I feel sorry for you.”
“No! You must! I-I can’t go back! The Dragon... Lord Daystar—h-he would not be pleased to hear that I have failed! Please! End my suffering, I beg you! I don’t—I can’t go back! Send me to hell! Now!”
Jake shook his head and said, “Nah. Ain’t gonna happen. You’re on your own with that one.”
Vektor shrieked in a fit of terrible malice and distress like a foul creature drowning in its own blood. A life of torment and miserable, unyielding agony had finally come to an end. Even if he was to be forgiven for his defeat, he could not return to the Black Church. Not after seeing that his existence was a cruel curse.
Sympathy shot through my heart like an arrow when I saw him lower his head in acquiesces. It was awful. I-I couldn’t even begin to imagine how much he’s suffered. And for what? Because it was seen as some kind of twisted honor to be handpicked by the Black Church.
The selection process was as esoteric as it gets. And I won’t even pretend to know what all goes into it. All I know for sure is that certain vampires, like Vektor, are chosen at birth for training as “saplings” in an even more secretive and sacred sect of the Black Church. These chosen few are called “Servants of the Fallen.”
Even if his training was a success, for reasons known only to the church, the odds of him becoming a replacement member of the Tormented were slim to none. What made the Tormented utterly terrifying, well, besides their freakish powers, was the fact that they didn’t speak and wore iron masks. There was no reasoning with these silent monsters. Say or do the wrong thing in their presence, and they wouldn’t hesitate to kill you. Our laws don’t protect us from them either. They obey only our fallen masters, and no one in their right mind would speak against them.
Even with all that being said... I don’t know. I guess something inside me mourned his demise. It’s true. He was a murderous monster, who probably didn’t deserve an ounce of sympathy. But when I gazed into his eyes, I didn’t see a killer. Damn, he wasn’t even “bedeviled” yet. All he was was a sad sapling whose mind and body had been beaten and broken in the pursuit of bedevilment.
When the end came, his face contorted from the pain of larvae feeding on his body in a mindless, endless feast that had continued without interruption until now. All the tissue had been eaten from his cheeks until there was nothing left but blackened bones. His sunken eyes were as hollow and downcast as his damaged soul.
All the flies that had encased his body in dreadful power now began to devour his flesh in one final feeding frenzy. It was a slow, agonizing death upon which he had much time to reflect upon his sins. Bit by bit, inch by inch, his flesh was liquified by the acrid acrylic acid-like substance until there was nothing left but dust and bones. The flies took to the sky and dispersed after parting ways with their master’s sad husk.
A tear slipped from my eye once it was over. Bastards. We served such cruel masters. If it weren’t for the people I loved, I would have had nothing to do with this. As morbid as it might sound, it’s safe to say I was happy for Vektor. At least he was free. Free from a life of darkness and pain. Free from a world in which vampires were terrorized by fallen angels.
I thanked Jake for helping me to my feet only to roll my eyes as he began boasting about how strong he was. He even worked up the nerve to ask me to give Lord Jurael a message. He practically begged me to tell him how bad he wanted a rematch. I told him he was crazy for thinking I knew any of our demonic overlords. He would have to find someone who was crazy enough to contact him on his behalf. Because there was no way in hell I would even so much as inquire about it. Especially not to any of my aristocratic associates. Tch. To think. Last thing I needed was to be judged by my already super judgy social circle.
The End

Chapter 2
We rushed out the busted front door, made our way around the building, and sprinted to the back of the parking lot. I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him standing in front of the entrance to the alley. The whole thing was strange and surreal. He looked more like a silhouette than an actual person. Confusion preyed upon my subconscious mind. Rancor loomed in the air like a polluted cloud. I instinctively backed away from the threat and mentally prepared myself for the worst.
He stood there with his back turned to us not moving a muscle. Even the wind seemed to have little effect, as not one article of clothing so much as shifted. Trying to put into words what I saw was like trying to climb a wall of insurmountable thoughts. A preposterous topic that would have made for an odd conversation piece amongst friends if I hadn’t found myself standing there as an unwilling participant in this twisted theatre.
A terrible feeling gnawed away at my psyche when I bravely strayed away from the shadows. I wanted to be closer to Jake, but once again, my sixth sense kicked in, and alarm bells started ringing in my head. I quickly realized how bad of an idea that was and looked for the nearest place to hide. I wasn’t a fighter. Neither was I in some cheesy action flick where the bureaucrat suddenly gains the ability to fight. No. This was real life and if I made the wrong move, I was a dead vampire.
And with that awful thought in mind, I quickly did an about face and dashed behind the nearest vehicle. After sighing in a sad state of relief, I peeked over the hood of my not so clever hiding spot. And boy was I relieved to see Jake standing his ground against that thing who was staring back at us like two rats caught in its iron cage. “This isn’t good,” I muttered to myself as a million ways to be eviscerated invaded my thoughts.
Damn. Even in what was arguably my greatest moment of uncertainty, I was curious to see if his fighting skills matched his bravado. Or if he was indeed all bark and no bite like I suspected. Oh boy, if he was then we were in for one bumpy ass ride I thought to myself. The more I thought about it, the more I began to appreciate the absolute dreadfulness of it all.
Jake bravely marched on until he was a stone’s throw away from whoever this was. His voice was cool and easy, but I could sense the anger boiling just beneath the surface, waiting to explode:
“What’s your name?”
“Vektor.”
“Alright, V. Who sent you?”
“Heh. Let’s play a game.”
“What kind of game?”
“If you can figure out who sent me, I won’t kill you slowly,” he rasped sinisterly.
His voice sounded strange and muffled through the ninja mask. I-I don’t know. All I know is that I had to fight like mad to stop my mind from sinking deeper into that warm and fuzzy place called fear and panic. All I wanted to do right now, was slink back home, sink into my snug bean bag chair, and cuddle next to my cat Beatie. I swear. Some of the things I was forced to partake in as a vampire were sickening. Ugh. Gross. The whole affair made me want to scream out “Enough already”!
But on the darker hand, I knew how significant of a situation this was. That I couldn’t possibly be thinking about returning to my benefactor emptyhanded. He might seem extremely reserved and polite, but come on, we all knew who his father was. That’s right. That same scornful, demonic blood coursed through his veins. Eh. The thought made my knees buckle and my stomach queasy.
Jake looked over at me and frowned. I don’t know if he did it out of genuine concern or annoyance at the fact that I was here. He didn’t say anything, and I wasn’t about to say anything. Instead, he turned his attention back to Vektor and said in a very matter-of-fact tone, “It’s her sneaky ass ‘benefactor’ ain’t it?”
“Strike one.”
“Damn. I just knew it was him. If it ain’t him, who else could it be? It must be them weak ass Cash Cowboyz who hired you to do their dirty work?”
“Strike two.”
“Lyrael!” I hollered.
“Who?” Jake asked.
“The Devil! That’s who sent you isn’t it?” I asked him, fearing the answer. Last thing I needed was to be caught up in anything that involved the Dragon. He was a monster who knew only one thing. And that one thing had twisted and tainted the world in red: Fire at the cost of redemption. Sin at the cost of salvation.
“That’s cheating,” Vektor bellowed.
Jake glowered at him and said, “So what. You didn’t say who had to answer. You just said it had to be correct. Next time be more accurate, playboy.”
“I’ll show you why it’s not a good idea to mock me. I’m going to teach you to never underestimate your foe. Especially one who has a trick up his sleeve.”
“Oh yeah? Is that right?” he asked with a look of relish in his eyes at the thought of battle.
I peeked over the car again just to make sure I was seeing this right. His look of confidence had turned into something difficult to explain. He was staring at me with an expression that screamed, “Whatever you do, do not look behind you.” Well, I looked back, almost out of instinct, and saw what had him so startled.
Oh God, it was him! The smell... It hit me as hard as the dreadful sight. Oh, and when I say “him,” what I really mean is that I was assailed by my assailant’s clone or some other impossibility of sorts. I don’t know. I-I didn’t have time to think. I know it sounds silly, but I-I honestly don’t know how else to describe what happened to me! He was standing in two places at once! The fear was paralyzing and electrifying in the most terrifying way describable. That I do know for sure. Another thing I know for sure is that when I tried to run I couldn’t. For some reason my legs felt like they were chained down to the pavement. I just stood there petrified and gazing stupidly upon the thing that looked like it hated my existence.
Vektor, or his shadow, or whatever this thing was. It grabbed me by the neck and lifted me off my feet, choking the life out of me in the process. It turned its head a full one hundred and eighty degrees and then asked Jake, “Would you trade your life for hers?”
“Why would I do that?” he scoffed.
“It’s a test to prove your worth.”
“Heh. Never did good on tests.”
“Hah! You feel powerless?”
“Why would you say that?”
“I could snuff out her life and there’s nothing you can do about it. I will let her live if you do the noble thing. If you give your life, I’ll set her free. Oh, and you can trust me. I never ever break my promises.”
“Aye, this ain’t the movies, my guy. Chill with all the supervillain talk. It ain’t cool.”
“Defiance will get you nowhere.”
“Just stop talking to me.”
“What did you say?!”
“I said that bull don’t work in the hood. Been there done that, my guy. You gotta come way harder than that if you trying to put the fear of God in me.”
“Fine, her life it is!”
The fitful anger in his voice matched the intensity of his squeeze. I-I could barely keep my eyes open. I-I could feel his nails digging into my throat. It was awful. It was inescapable. It was unbearable. I thrashed about which did nothing but zap what little strength I had left. I... I couldn’t fight it anymore. It was over. I closed my eyes and cursed Jake for selling me out.
Just then I felt a slight and sudden shift in the wind. It was so subtle I almost missed it. What I saw out the corner of my eye brought instant relief to my battered senses. Jake had dashed next to Vektor. But instead of saving me, like a gentleman, he of course had to make a vulgar, unflattering remark about strangulation.
It should have been evident from my insufferable predicament that he was right and that he didn’t need to go on about it like a bloke. Yes! “It took a helluva lot of effort and struggle to strangle the life out of someone, especially another vampire.” Yes! “It might be super painful for the victim and ultra fulfilling for the assassin, but it was also excruciatingly slow, and so counterintuitive of a kill method it was reserved for lunatics and barbarians.” These were all true statements made by my supposed savior.
And that was my assailant’s mistake, summoned up so “eloquently” by Jake. He had given him too much time to counter his assault by deciding upon strangulation as my method of execution.
Jake cocked his arm back and smote him in the ribcage. The blow scattered the duplicate that had a death grip on my neck into a thick swarm of flies. There were so many of them they blotted out the sun. I fell to my knees and began to gasp. He was right, it might take longer than the movies let on, but damn did almost being strangled to death hurt like hell. My neck was on fire. My arms wouldn’t stop shaking out of a combination of pain and panic. I had to stop myself from falling on my face several times.
Jake was about to ask me if I was okay, but before he could, he back away and shouted, “Oh, shit!” when the blinding swarm of flies wheeled around and encircled me. I-I couldn’t move. I-I could barely breathe. It felt like I had been encased in cement. Every second I spent in that prison was damnation. I started to go mad. Oh, and the smell was unlike anything. Oh God. Curse the sensation of a million flies, buzzing, prodding, picking, crawling all over me. My worst nightmare had come true. I tried to reach my arms out to Jake. I tried like mad to bring about my salvation, but I-I couldn’t. I-I just couldn’t squeeze the words out. I’m sure the frightful flash in my eyes gave away what agony refused to convey.
He saw my pain and was about to reach out to me, but then Vektor spoke once more. His words even more chilling and soul-crushing than before: “Now, Mr. Superhero. I’m going to ask you one more time to choose.”
Jake looked at his fist and then over at Vektor, who was still standing there in the same spot, with his back turned to us. He was practically taunting us at this point with his frightening ability. I will never understand how he managed to usher so much grief and havoc into my world without so much as moving an inch.
I thought about my life... About how I never wanted any of this! What could I have done differently? I was born a vampire. I was born into this twisted cycle of sadness and madness. No. I-I had to pull myself out of this sinking feeling. I had to remain strong and put my faith in Jake. He might be a lot of things, but if my benefactor trusted him, I trusted him. My benefactor was way too strong of a vampire lord to keep the company of fools.
Jake left me there. The look in his eyes told me that he hadn’t given up on me. He marched over to the maniac, cracked his knuckles, and inquired upon an alternative, “What if I choose a third option?”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“There is no—"
He smashed him in the back with a brutal punch. The noise his fist made as it connected sounded like a wrecking ball colliding into the side of a large building. The flies shielding Vektor scattered, revealing that he had been facing us this entire time.
Vektor gripped his stomach and fell to a knee. His eyes bulged as shock overtook his senses. He tried to speak, but the pain wouldn’t allow him.
Jake stared at his smoldering fist. He was surprised at how crunchy and heavy the impact was. His suspicion had been confirmed. The flies that covered him were somehow stronger than normal. Not only that but they acted as some kind of living armor. A shell that would have been impossible for the average vampire to crack.
Jake staggered back and watched in horror as the flies that covered Vektor’s face scattered. What was left was a raw, gnawed, gaunt deformity. He removed his ninja mask, and retched a thick, sludge-like expectoration from his distended mouth. The toxic, bloody, jelly-like substance congealed into an endless swarm of flies after splashing onto the ground in front of him.
The flies took to the sky and formed into this giant, heaping mass of destruction. They quickly encircled their victim as if they were performing a delicate dance of blades. The black mist ensnared him like a deadly storm. It happened before he could react. The horde forced him down to a knee with a wind velocity similar to a moderate tornado. All he could do was shield his face with his arms and do his best to remain strong in the face of pestilence. Flies clumped to his arms like a thousand tiny scabs. He tried to stand but the confusion was too much to overcome. For a moment there, I thought he was going to scream in horror. He had been overwhelmed, but instead of allowing defeat to settle in, he steadied his mind. And like something straight out of a movie, he staggered to his feet, despite everything that stood against him.
Vektor dashed towards the beleaguered champion and dropkicked him. Jake absorbed most of the damage with his arms. The force was tremendous and nearly knocked him off his feet. Jake’s strength was jaw-dropping. He refused to bend or break from a strike so violent and perfectly placed, it would have crushed anyone else. The inertia caused him to slide back, leaving drag marks in the concrete as his feet gave ground.
Vektor shrieked in a toxic fit of bleak anger. He scowled and howled wildly while gripping his arm in pain. I couldn’t freaking believe what I was seeing! The lower half of his arm twisted and contorted. He cried out in misery as his mutilated arm mutated into a malodourous blade of malady. Flies dripped from the putrid coagulation like purge fluid leaking from a gassy, greasy, bacteria infected corpse. His blade of living flies feasted on necrotized flesh all the way up to the elbow of his quivering hand and forearm like a fetid, flesh-eating, fasciitis fueled by necrotic despair and parasitic hunger.
Jake was still recovering from the last assault when he struck again. He thrust his bile blade into his chest and a thousand hardened flies crashed into what sounded like plate armor. The unexpected impact caused Vektor to stumble back. He gawked at his bleak blade in confusion. Surprised to see that it had broken in half.
Jake looked down at his chest, counted his blessings, and then smirked. He tore his shirt off and revealed what looked like ancient armor. He tapped the spot where Vektor had struck and bragged about how he’s been wearing his trusty “weighted vest” for years.
Vektor was incensed. Hatred oozed from his mouth when he screamed, “How did you get that?! That isn’t a weighted vest you maggot! It’s a Harness of Sin!”
“It’s funny you say that. That’s the same thing that one fallen angel said. What’s his name? Oh, yeah, Jurael. What a freak. He even had that same dumb ass look on his face right before we poured him out.”
“Who gave that to you?!”
“My guardian angel,” he joked.
“If you’re that strong with it on then...”
Jake’s smile altered into a wolfish sneer. He nodded along and said, “Now you’re starting to get the picture. I can take it off if you want—give you a demonstration?”
“No! No! Stop!”
“Fair enough.”
“You still haven’t won.”
“Look, homie. I’m going to ask you one last time to let her go. I’m not in the mood for games. I was having a good time with the bros before you came along and ruined it. I would hate to have to take my anger out on you.”
“Never! I’ll kill her!”
“Your funeral, pal.”
“You may be stronger than I thought, but I still have the upper hand. Take one more step, and I’ll have my little minions break every bone in her body.”
“Oh yeah? You’d do that?”
“Try me, you arrogant fool!”
“I got another secret.”
“You’re stalling.”
“Nah, I’m serious.”
“What’s your secret?”
“I ain’t even turned yet.”
“Impossible! You’re bluffing!”
“See. My fangs are still retracted.”
Jake raised his hand and glared into the eyes of his rattled foe. His knuckles cracked loudly when he tightened his hand into a fist. The varicose veins in his arms looked like rivets that had been hammered into steel. The ground around him shifted ever so slightly. His power was undeniable. Muscles twitched and tightened into the same impenetrable stone walls that had protected Constantinople from the Turks. His strength was a testament to barbarity and torturous training. He stood before his foe like the thunder god, Zues, slayer of Titans.
I started to panic and thrash about. Flies crawled into my ears, irritated the inside of my nose, and made me feel completely uncomfortable in my own skin. The most terrifying part about the whole ordeal was feeling them worm their way into my mouth. Ugh! The sensation of soggy, retching, disease-ridden foreign bodies squirming and wiggling their way down my throat, with the sluggishness and consistency of slime still gives me chills.
I cried, choked, and gagged, only to repeat the cruel process again and again until my spirit had nearly been broken. I tried to scream, but instead I violently vomited up a thick glob of slob mixed with blood and insect parts. It was a humiliating nightmare made even worse by the fact that Jake was my only hope. He had to do something to make it stop. He simply had to because if this torture went on any longer, I was a goner for sure.
Jake channeled his power and allowed the vampire side to fully take over. His transformation was unlike anything I had ever witnessed. I could feel the sudden surge in strength. It shook the cars and made the ground tremble under me. He was shredded to the bone, possessed monstrous muscle maturity, and eyepopping vascularity.
He dashed in front of Vektor before he could react and landed a bone crushing uppercut that sent him flying. He bounced off the side of the second story building, right next to the strip club, and came crashing down like a boulder. Dust and debris flew everywhere. The sight was chilling and absolutely awe inspiring.
Instead of following up his assault with a victorious smite, he just stood there, stretching his neck muscles while admiring the devastation he had wrought upon the battlefield. He flexed his bicep muscle, showing off the ripped arm he had used to rain down justice.
He snarled and snorted like a grizzly on the prowl. There was nothing his opponent could do but pray that he didn’t become his next meal:
“I heard about that little ‘Black Church’ you come from. About how ‘terrible’ and ‘unforgiving’ your training is. Heh. You think you know what it’s like to train under brutal conditions, huh? This... Harness of Sin... it was worn by the Devil himself after his defeat, am I right? All of them (the fallen angels) had to wear one.
“This harness is so heavy it weighed them down to the point where they couldn’t cause anymore mischief. It prevented them from flying, which is the worst thing you can do to a group of proud angels. They remained like that for God knows how long: imprisoned, marred, shamefully defeated. Until finally, they were thrown out of one misery and into another one. Lyrael and all the angels he had led astray were tossed from the very same heavens they had fought so hard to conquer.
“That’s right. You think you know pain, but you don’t. All you know is the dark side of agony. A broken lackey like you doesn’t stand a chance against me. Now limp back to your stupid little torture-chamber church. When you get there, tell Lucy to send somebody worth their salt the next time he wants to test my strength. And maybe... just maybe, I’ll break a fucking sweat.”
The flies loosened their hold upon me at the very moment the blow was inflicted upon their master. It was like they knew something was amiss. They untwisted and uncoiled from around my body without a moment to spare. I would’ve died if my misery would’ve lasted any longer. And because of that, I thanked the Blood Goddess for saving my life. It was the only thing I could think to do to stop myself from having a panic attack. My eyes swelled with anger. It felt like I had survived hell. Having what seemed like an endless tide of insects crawling all over every inch of my body like that. Ugh! It was far and away the worst, most violating experience ever.
He sent out a distress call to his precious pestilence. They listened to the eerie screech and made their way back home. The insects encased him almost like they had me. But instead of torment, they provided him with protection. They encased every inch of his body in some form of symbiotic armor. It was disgusting in every way imaginable. The encrusted, corroded cuticle mutilated and molted his sickly skin. Every quiver and thrust were followed by hollow screams and shattered bones. The flies had mutated his body into a giant, human-like insectoid that was at least several feet tall.
His living breathing armor was a metallic black color that gleamed with the same fiery intensity as sapphire. It was as viscous a substance that one would expect to stick and fuse with flesh and organs so firmly. Somehow, through millions of years of evolution, the exoskeleton enhanced his mobility and fluidity while covering him in a dense, textural armor similar to chitin.
He spread his ironclad insect wings that were on his jagged thorax. They snipped and zipped through the wind like two giant steampunk propellers. His compound eyes were large and oval. The exoskeleton mimicked the black, hardened pleats and hairy, braided creases that safeguarded a fly under near perfect protection.
Worse yet was the haunting echoes, grinding, and oozing noises that escaped from its dripping mouthparts with each coagulated regurgitation upon its fuzzy antennae. The sight was as ungodly an image that comes to mind when thinking of ungodly things. He was wretched. Wicked and low. A vampire who masked himself in depravity.
I nearly vomited all over my blouse when he vomited this syrupy saliva-like concoction all over his forelegs. The soupy, sticky goop congealed like marmalade. He took this secretion and rubbed it over his eyes. The sight was disgusting and left me hating him even more.
He smirked and snickered like a maniac. Then he took flight and taunted Jake with his blistering speed. He was fast. Way faster than before. He buzzed around Jake’s head several times until he found the perfect moment to strike. His attack caught Jake completely off guard.
It was such a perfectly timed strike I couldn’t help but wince. The thought of running away crossed my mind. But I knew in my heart that if he died, if Vektor was to take down this giant slayer of a vampire, he was going to come after me next and I was dead. I took a breath and steadied my nerves. I had to be ready for the unthinkable. For that nightmare scenario fueled by fear.
Each blow was crushing and pushed him back several inches. He had his arms crossed and defended himself admirably, but at this rate it was only a matter of time before he lowered his guard. And that was what his vile foe was waiting for. He wanted to break his spirit so he could finish him off with a death strike.
Vektor landed a few feet away from me. I-I was too petrified to even shiver. The smell of rot and death hung in the sky. It was sickening to the stomach to even be around someone so foul and freakish. Thankfully, he didn’t even look my way. He was focused solely on his target. So much so, he hunched over on all six legs and cackled in as unnatural a manner as conceivable. He had Jake right where we wanted him. He warned him that this was it. That this ‘final strike’ would destroy him.
When he saw Jake brace himself for the inevitable, he cackled even louder and announced that it was no use. He told him that, “You might be strong, but strength isn’t the only thing! You should have listened to me when I told you, you were going to die, you arrogant cretin!”
I wanted to look away, but I couldn’t. I had to know how it would end even at the cost of my life. And so, I watched on in horror as the smell of sewage writhed its way through my nostrils. He expectorated a gelatinous, slimy, milky film of sticky salvia, along with other slushy, repugnant regurgitations from his spongy, hairy probiscis. He used the filmy, fuming waste to fuse his forelegs into an odious fetid blade of pestilence and odium.
His insectoid wings buzzed, and his halteres oscillated rapidly, which allowed him greater balance, sensory, and range of motion while hovering in the air at such breakneck speeds. He mustered what must’ve been all his strength and flew towards Jake. The viciousness and velocity knocked me back, causing my back to slam into the vehicle behind me. The car alarm blasted into my ears, causing me a brief bit disorientation.
My vision slowly returned to me after becoming blurry as my brain rattled around in my skull. I quickly looked over in the direction I last saw them and couldn’t believe my eyes. What I was witnessing... No! There was no freaking way! In the short amount of time, it had taken me to regain my bearings, the tides of battle had shifted.
I covered my ears as a noise that was as mythic and terrific as thunder rang down from the heavens. The smite shook the ground like a celestial war hammer wielded by a Holy (Paladin) guardian angel commander. Jake had all but conquered his foe with a devastating smote that sang the “Cries of the Fallen” into the Hall of Heroes. Using only brute force he had smashed his way to victory against all odds and reason. Damn. I guess he was right. Power in the form of strength would forever reign supreme.
He had Vektor firmly gripped by the throat. The veins and muscles in his arms popped and pulsated with wild energy. I could hear him crushing his foe’s neck as his grip tightened. He held on to his victim until he lowered his wings and the will to fight had completely fled his spirit. Only then, when he saw that sweet look of defeat in his opponent’s eyes did he hold back.
“No way this is happening,” my mind kept repeating as I witnessed what had to be a fever dream. Somehow, he had stopped Vektor’s “final attack” without breaking a sweat. It was quite a sight to behold. His savage nature... I-I had only ever seen it in our fallen masters. It was an untamed power filled with rage and ruin.
His flowing, blonde hair fluttered in the wind. His shredded physique was that of a Greek demigod. He stood there like a demon, who could only be brought down by an archangel. His blue eyes glowed with the heat of bloodshed and battle. A wild, Grendel-like grin took hold of his expression. He raised his conquered foe even higher, as if he was Hercules, standing atop Mount Olympus, lifting a meager offering before Jupitar for immolation:
“You evil vampires and your stupid tricks. Heh! I told you. Strength is the only thing that matters! Tricks are for kids and for punks like you.”
Jake let go, took a step back, and watched scornfully as his foe collapsed to his knees. He raised his arm above him and tightened his hand into a fist. He was in insane condition. He had muscles on top of muscles. In that moment, he was a rippled, veiny, masterpiece of iron and stone, who had been forged by the furnace of fate into the image of Thunor. He raised his mythical war hammer towards Valhalla and gave his vanquished foe a moment to gather up what last few words he might have had before he was to be sundered by a thunderstrike in the name of Odin.
“The pain...”
“What about it?” Jake snarled.
“It’s unimaginable.”
“Why is that?”
“The flies.”
“Dammit. It makes sense now,” Jake muttered while lowering his arm, unstiffening his muscles, and allowing his dense mind to stumble upon an epiphany he should have already known. “Wait, that’s why the flies are so strong. You let them feed on your vampire blood.”
“You just figured that out?”
“Damn. I can only imagine being harvested on day in and day out with no end in sight.”
“I can’t sleep... I can’t think. Every waking moment is consumed by pain. I was born into the Black Church. And now, I will die never knowing a moment of relief from this... this all-consuming agony.”
“Dude. Stick to the script.”
“I-I do not understand?”
“I can’t kill you if I feel sorry for you.”
“No! You must! I-I can’t go back! The Dragon... Lord Daystar—h-he would not be pleased to hear that I have failed! Please! End my suffering, I beg you! I don’t—I can’t go back! Send me to hell! Now!”
Jake shook his head and said, “Nah. Ain’t gonna happen. You’re on your own with that one.”
Vektor shrieked in a fit of terrible malice and distress like a foul creature drowning in its own blood. A life of torment and miserable, unyielding agony had finally come to an end. Even if he was to be forgiven for his defeat, he could not return to the Black Church. Not after seeing that his existence was a cruel curse.
Sympathy shot through my heart like an arrow when I saw him lower his head in acquiesces. It was awful. I-I couldn’t even begin to imagine how much he’s suffered. And for what? Because it was seen as some kind of twisted honor to be handpicked by the Black Church.
The selection process was as esoteric as it gets. And I won’t even pretend to know what all goes into it. All I know for sure is that certain vampires, like Vektor, are chosen at birth for training as “saplings” in an even more secretive and sacred sect of the Black Church. These chosen few are called “Servants of the Fallen.”
Even if his training was a success, for reasons known only to the church, the odds of him becoming a replacement member of the Tormented were slim to none. What made the Tormented utterly terrifying, well, besides their freakish powers, was the fact that they didn’t speak and wore iron masks. There was no reasoning with these silent monsters. Say or do the wrong thing in their presence, and they wouldn’t hesitate to kill you. Our laws don’t protect us from them either. They obey only our fallen masters, and no one in their right mind would speak against them.
Even with all that being said... I don’t know. I guess something inside me mourned his demise. It’s true. He was a murderous monster, who probably didn’t deserve an ounce of sympathy. But when I gazed into his eyes, I didn’t see a killer. Damn, he wasn’t even “bedeviled” yet. All he was was a sad sapling whose mind and body had been beaten and broken in the pursuit of bedevilment.
When the end came, his face contorted from the pain of larvae feeding on his body in a mindless, endless feast that had continued without interruption until now. All the tissue had been eaten from his cheeks until there was nothing left but blackened bones. His sunken eyes were as hollow and downcast as his damaged soul.
All the flies that had encased his body in dreadful power now began to devour his flesh in one final feeding frenzy. It was a slow, agonizing death upon which he had much time to reflect upon his sins. Bit by bit, inch by inch, his flesh was liquified by the acrid acrylic acid-like substance until there was nothing left but dust and bones. The flies took to the sky and dispersed after parting ways with their master’s sad husk.
A tear slipped from my eye once it was over. Bastards. We served such cruel masters. If it weren’t for the people I loved, I would have had nothing to do with this. As morbid as it might sound, it’s safe to say I was happy for Vektor. At least he was free. Free from a life of darkness and pain. Free from a world in which vampires were terrorized by fallen angels.
I thanked Jake for helping me to my feet only to roll my eyes as he began boasting about how strong he was. He even worked up the nerve to ask me to give Lord Jurael a message. He practically begged me to tell him how bad he wanted a rematch. I told him he was crazy for thinking I knew any of our demonic overlords. He would have to find someone who was crazy enough to contact him on his behalf. Because there was no way in hell I would even so much as inquire about it. Especially not to any of my aristocratic associates. Tch. To think. Last thing I needed was to be judged by my already super judgy social circle.
The End

32 y.o male On 3/15 I had a ultrasound on my testicles because I also had a history of vericoceles which were corrected in 2018 and at the time because it was affecting my fertility , my ultrasound was clear on both testicles. Fast forward to 3/15 they grew in size since then , but also there was a 3mm hypoechoic focus found on the ultrasound. The radiologist said neoplasia must be considered. The urologist had me do Lactate Dehydrogenase , AFP, and HCG tumor markers. They all came back clear The urologist says likely a harmless cyst and check again in a month, so on April 8th I got another ultrasound done which showed now change and on the report It said 2mm. The radiologist said neoplasm , but the urologist said again cyst/ lesion with no vascularity , it’s hypoechoic and looks like it had fluid in the center of it , and it has remained unchanged . Within that time I also developed a nervous / anxiety attack which led me to do more follow ups with the urologist leading to a CT Scan with and without Contrast of my pelvic area and abdomen, which all was clear as well. Also in January for chest pain I had an xray of my lungs and heart which was clear too. Lastly , the urologist wants me to check again in August , 3 months from now. How do I trust what they say is true , they said it’s perfectly safe to wait 6 months for another ultrasound. But with my extreme anxiety They stitched to 3 months on August…And they do not seem concerned , they recommend that I go into therapy which I had started. But I keep reading stories on here and that oh I had negative markers too but it grew or they taken it out.
My question is , should I trust my doctors. Idk how long it had been there but I know I did not have anything in 2018. If it was cancer is a month long enough to see a change ? I read articles or research about hypoechoic and on here meaning if it’s hypoechoic it’s cancer if it’s not cancer it’s andchoic but my doctor says that doesn’t matter it just means there a lot of echos idk… the thing that is scaring me is Leydig Cell Tumors and that 2% can be malignant and if so they have poor prognosis like 2 years max My doctors they keep saying it looks like a cyst .. It’s possible that it’s new but also possible I’ve had it for a while now. Would they have taken it out by now if it was cancer. I read articles / research that 80% of legions / cysts less than 1cm or whatever were benign with negative tumor markers and appearance/ no vascularity etc make it even more likely. I also had varicoceles so I wonder could that have contributed to the change? Also the fact that my CT scan was clear is that another positive sign? I don’t have any genetic issues so I’m not at higher risk.
This is different for me I am in limbo I don’t know if it will turn into anything or not if it were within a month between the two ultrasounds I’m sure it would have changed if it were anything ??? , I don’t even know how long I’ve had it within the 6 years between ultrasounds, I guess cysts can pop up at anytime .. but they still want to keep an eye on it they all say oh it’s so small ..
Like idk what to do… do i seek a second opinion,., do I ask for an MRI to tell better if there is internal vascularity? The ultrasound didn’t mention and my doctor also said there is blood flow in my testicle but not coming inside of it. Again this is not causing my testosterone issue for me as I had that back in 2018..
I’m freaking out that I have the malignant version of Leydig Cell Tumors which has a poor prognosis.. I had a clear Cat Scan in April as well.. idk what to do and I’m freaking out

On 3/15 I had a ultrasound on my testicles because I also had a history of vericoceles which were corrected in 2018 and at the time because it was affecting my fertility , my ultrasound was clear on both testicles. Fast forward to 3/15 they grew in size since then , but also there was a 3mm hypoechoic focus found on the ultrasound. The urologist had me do Lactate Dehydrogenase , AFP, and HCG tumor markers. They all came back clear The urologist says likely a harmless cyst and check again in a month, so on April 8th I got another ultrasound done which showed now change and on the report It said 2mm. The radiologist said neoplasm , but the urologist said again cyst/ lesion with no vascularity , it’s hypoechoic and looks like it had fluid in the center of it , and it has remained unchanged . Within that time I also developed a nervous / anxiety attack which led me to do more follow ups with the urologist leading to a CT Scan with and without Contrast of my pelvic area and abdomen, which all was clear as well. Also in January for chest pain I had an xray of my lungs and heart which was clear too. Lastly , the urologist wants me to check again in August , 3 months from now. How do I trust what they say is true , they said it’s perfectly safe to wait 6 months for another ultrasound. But with my extreme anxiety They stitched to 3 months on August…And they do not seem concerned , they recommend that I go into therapy which I had started. But I keep reading stories on here and that oh I had negative markers too but it grew or they taken it out.
My question is , should I trust my doctors. Idk how long it had been there but I know I did not have anything in 2018. If it was cancer is a month long enough to see a change ? I read articles or research about hypoechoic and on here meaning if it’s hypoechoic it’s cancer if it’s not cancer it’s andchoic but my doctor says that doesn’t matter it just means there a lot of echos idk… the thing that is scaring me is Leydig Cell Tumors and that 2% can be malignant and if so they have poor prognosis like 2 years max zz they keep saying it looks like a cyst .. It’s possible that it’s new but also possible I’ve had it for a while now. Would they have taken it out by now if it was cancer. I read articles / research that 80% of legions / cysts less than 1cm or whatever were benign with negative tumor markers and appearance/ no vascularity etc make it even more likely. I also had varicoceles so I wonder could that have contributed to the change? Also the fact that my CT scan was clear is that another positive sign? I don’t have any genetic issues so I’m not at higher risk.
This is different for me I am in limbo I don’t know if it will turn into anything or not if it were within a month between the two ultrasounds I’m sure it would have changed if it were anything ??? , I don’t even know how long I’ve had it within the 6 years between ultrasounds, I guess cysts can pop up at anytime .. but they still want to keep an eye on it they all say oh it’s so small ..
Like idk what to do… do i seek a second opinion,., do I ask for an MRI to tell better if there is internal vascularity? The ultrasound didn’t mention and my doctor also said there is blood flow in my testicle but not coming inside of it. Again this is not causing my testosterone issue for me as I had that back in 2018..
I’m freaking out that I have the malignant version of Leydig Cell Tumors which has a poor prognosis.. I had a clear Cat Scan in April as well.. idk what to do and I’m freaking out

Hey what’s up boys! Hope everyone is blessed and staying healthy! I have a very unusual case of testicular cancer and it be process so far has been extremely overwhelming. I am 20 years old. I started having testicular pain in February 2024 and I just thought I slept on it wrong, never really thought about it too much. It would hurt for a day and go away. In March it started to hurt again but worse (7.5/10 pain), this time though, the right side of my scrotum was huge due to a hydrocele. I went to the emergency room and got an ultrasound and they came to the conclusion that I have epididymo-orchitis with a mild hydrocele even though I tested negative for every STI. They put me on doxycycline for 2 weeks. During the course of the 2 weeks the pain went away almost completely but the swelling was still there which I thought was normal because Hydrocele don’t go away overnight. Regardless, I had a follow up ultrasound and during that ultrasound they suspected a malignant mass. Hydrocele and pain is usually never a symptom of testicular cancer so my doctors found it strange.
Follow up ultra sound: There is a heterogeneous hypoechoic mass measuring 4.2 x 3.8 x 2.9 cm with microcalcifications. The testicle is overall markedly increased in vascularity when compared to the left. The epididymal head measures 2.0 x 1.2 cm with increased flow
This ultrasound still couldn’t confirm cancer because all of my tumor markers were normal. So they ordered a CT scan of the pelvis and abdomen.
CT scan results: RETROPERITONEUM: There are several retroperitoneal lymph nodes beneath the renal veins. The largest is 2.3 cm just above the level of the aortic bifurcation, anterior to the IVC. There is also a 1.7 cm lymph node adjacent to the right internal iliac artery and vein. LOWER CHEST: There is a rounded 12 mm nodule in the right lower lobe which appears to be showing a little more enhancement along its periphery than centrally. The heart is normal size
This confirmed testicular cancer and I needed to get an Orchiectomy as soon as possible. I also needed to get another CT scan for my chest because of the small nodule on my lung.
I got the orchiectomy on April 25th. Very easy surgery. I was driving the next day and playing basketball within 5-6 days. Pain isn’t anything crazy the worst part is getting out of bed. About 8 days after my surgery, my pathology came back
Pathology results:
FINAL DIAGNOSIS Testis, right, radical orchiectomy: Germ cell tumor, pure embryonal carcinoma, at least 8.3 cm. Embryonal carcinoma is present at spermatic cord margin. Radical orchiectomy Laterality: Right Tumor Focality: Unifocal Tumor size: At least 8.3 cm Histologic type: Pure embryonal carcinoma Tumor extent: Invades rete, hilar soft tissue, epididymis, spermatic cord Lymphovascular invasion: Present Margins: Spermatic cord margin involved by carcinoma Regional lymph nodes: Not applicable (no regional lymph nodes submitted) Additional findings: Germ cell neoplasia in situ pTNM classification (AJCC 8th edition): pT3, pN not assigned Diagnosis Comments Immunohistochemical stains were performed on blocks A1 and A3. OCT3/4, CD30, and EP-CAM are positive in tumor cells. Glypican-3 show and D2-40 show equivocal nonspecific staining. hCG* and CD117* are negative. OCT 3/4 and EP-CAM confirm the presence of embryonal carcinoma at the spermatic cord margin. Grossly, the tumor measured 6.8 cm. With microscopic correlation, it invades rete testis, epididymis, and extends proximally up the spermatic cord for 1.5 cm to the margin, the latter extension of which could not be appreciated grossly. The sum of gross and microscopic tumor is listed in the above as the total tumor size.
So my pathology Came back as a pure embryonal carcinoma. I understand that it is very aggressive and rare to be in a pure form and it usually comes as a mixed germ cell tumor. Does anyone have any information on this? Information on the pure embryonal carcinoma seems very limited because of how rare it is. I also got a cat scan of my lungs on the 6th of May and it showed metastasis to my lungs. I can’t tell if it’s serious or not but ChatGPT is telling me they’re small but it’s still due to the spread of cancer. I want to know if it’ll react to chemo.
Chest cat scan: Lungs/Pleura: Multiple pulmonary lesions are present throughout the lungs. For example, the nodule seen on the previous CT of the abdomen in the right lower lobe measures 1.5 cm and previously measured 1.2 cm. A nodule in the right lower lobe that is pleural-based on image 27 of series 3 measures 1.5 cm. A left lower lobe nodule measures 1 cm on image 21 of series 3. Upper lobe pulmonary nodules are present which are smaller in size, for example 6.3 mm in the right upper lobe on image 15 of series 3 and 7.4 mm in the left upper lobe on image 24 of series 3. No pleural effusion or pneumothorax.
Should I be concerned? Will chemotherapy shrink this? Has anyone had a similar case. Here are my tumor markers on May 7th 2024. Still normal.
Tumor markers post orchiectomy: HCG, Quant Value <5 LDH , 229 Erythropoietin 12.0 APF TUMOR MARKER 2.0
I am going to Mskcc for treatment. Have you guys heard good things about them? Everyone I know says they’re the best around. Do you guys think rpnld surgery is neeeded? My oncologist that referred me to them mentioned a robotic rpnld which is way less invasive. He also mentioned chemotherapy tailoring. Do you guys have any additional information about pure embryonal carcinoma? Thank you boys!

I have a 7 year old male cat. For the last year and a half, he's displayed signs of severe, worsening asthma. I've tried everything. Initially, the vet started him on the standard asthma medications - prednizolone and inhaled fluticasone, with albuterol to treat symptoms. I also did all the standard environmental checks: no clay litter, vaccuum frequently, no candles/perfumes, rarely cook on the stove, run an air purifier 24/7, ... His symptoms did not improve, and despite the medications, continued to worsen. The only medication that seemed to help a bit was the prednizolone - the fluticasone and albuterol didn't do much at all. So I have had to keep him on high dose prednizolone, which I recognize is not good as a long term treatment and comes with its own risks, but as soon as I reduce it even slightly he becomes so severely asthmatic that I worry he's going to die. We also ran him through a number of rounds of antibiotics, none of which seemed to show any improvement. A vet took x-rays last year and concluded that he may have cardiomyopathy - I took him to a cardiologist at that time who ruled it out after an echo exam, and said it was most likely just standard asthma. These are the notes from the x-ray last year: "Multiple images are provided. The cardiac silhouette is normal regarding size and shape with specific chamber enlargement not noted. The pulmonary vascular pattern is normal. Pulmonary inflation is poor with a organize interstitial pattern involving the caudal lung lobes bilaterally and a bronchial pattern present which is diffuse. Within the abdomen there is a gas pattern within the stomach small intestine and:. The liver and kidneys appear normal. Serosal detail is normal with mild enlargement of the liver. The right stifle and Tarsus appear normal. The left stifle joint and tarsal joint both appear normal. Both coxal joints are within normal limits. The pelvis appears intact. The thorax compared to the previous study appears be static without progressive pulmonary changes however the pulmonary changes are notable and likely inflammatory or chronic. Cardiovascular abnormalities are not present. There appears to be evidence of aerophagia without evidence of ascites. A cause of the clinical lameness is not appreciated" Since then, we've just continued treating him for asthma. I've tried cyclosporine as well which did not have any effect. Currently he is on prednizolone (very high dose...) and oral terbutaline to treat symptoms as that seems to help a bit more than the inhaled albuterol. I also tried as a last ditch effort taking him to a new residence for several weeks, just in case there was something in my environment triggering his asthma. There was no improvement during this time, so I ruled out environment as the cause. My current vet says the only path forward now is doing an airway bronchoscopy (along with a CT), but she warns that given his symptoms this is extremely high-risk and he may not recover from it. She says it is likely pulmonary fibrosis, does not think lung cancer is likely (as this would have probably already killed him by now). Does anyone here have experience with this? Does this sound like fibrosis? Is there anything else I haven't tried yet that I should?

Some background included below:
-Female Sphynx Cat aged 8. Has mild HCM not requiring treatment at this time. - Had middle/inner ear infection resistant to treatment causing vestibular disease. MRI showed debris in inner eapossibly polyp. No brain tumors or any other issues found. Put on new antibiotics and steroids after culture. - Had ventral bulla osteotomy surgery March 3rd. No polyp found, but a lot of debris. Surgery caused Horner’s syndrome but vestibular and Horner’s symptoms slowly improved over a month. Vet said she might never 100% recover, but was stable and about 80% back to normal. Culture came back free of bacteria.
The issue is that after a full month of stability, she is suddenly getting acute, short bouts of nystagmus and dizziness. She is fully alert during, purring and scratching on scratching post, but unsteady. The first bout lasted 45 minutes in April 27th, with another a week later, then several days later. Now she seems to be having them daily, between 15-30 minutes at a time.
From what I’ve read, nystagmus/vestibular issues normally come on suddenly then improve slowly, and don’t keep recurring like hers. Her symptoms are exactly like her initial vestibular issues when she had an ear infection, but her neurologist said since they come on and end in short windows she is more worried about stroke/vascular issues. She’s back on a low dose of steroids and getting an echocardiogram tomorrow to see if her HCM has worsened.
Do vestibular issues/nystagmus ever come and go like this? I don’t want to keep putting her under anesthesia for testing with her HCM if this is indeed just residual from her ear infection. Wondering if anyone has any thoughts or ideas, as her neurologist is unsure what’s going on as well.
Thank you!

Hi my 10 year old cat was diagnosed with mammary carcinoma. She just had surgery to remove the mass (2.37mm) and was spayed at the same time. (Adopted her two years ago and was told at adoption that she was spayed) she had Left sided radical mastectomy. mass associated with gland 4.
The vet and surgeon told me I have another year with her and strongly advise seeing an oncologist. I don’t want to put her through chemo and feel like an oncologist is just going to push that.
Her pathology report reads:

Larger: Mammary carcinoma, simple, tubulopapillary Mitotic count (per 2.37 sq mm): more than 20 Histologic tumor-free margins: Clear; the nearest peripheral margin is 1.5 mm, with 24.8 mm deep margin, with subcutaneous adipose tissue. Vascular invasion: PRESENT
Smaller: Mammary duct ectasia, with pyogranulomatous mammary dochitis

I love her so much and realize my time is limited but I want to know if anyone went through a similar situation and if they had a good outcome with just surgery and then supplements to keep immune system up naturally and fight cancer?
I asked her vet about Life Gold and she didn’t sound convinced that it would help but said it can’t hurt. Just want to give my baby a fighting chance and not have her suffer. Reviews seemed promising but realize every body is different.

I will disect Daans story into two main categories:
-Daan, Stitches and Needles and their relation to the sulfur god and machine god.
-Daans relation to pocket cat.
First of we learn that daan teaches his father in law about occult gods however i think that was not what corrupted the baron. Much rather it made him receptive to the sweet whispers of the sulfur god. Since the sulfur god is part of the belive of allmer and rather secretive. Not even daan knew about it.
I assume the baron visited Prehevil once daan was sent to war because they still worship the old gods which interested the baron. when he came back the corruption of the sulfur god slowly began to take over, or he had already been in the sulfurpits. (I assume the second.)
When he returned Elise was against this development so the baron used a Ritual killing to sent her soul to the sulfur pits in a way to join his new belive.
When daan then finds her he tries to revive her and i think he succeded. however since her soul was in the sulfurpits thats where she was reborn. The body forming around the soul.
The machine god promises paradise to humanity which of course threatens the cruelty the sulfur god envisions. So perkele uses rher to create as much chaos as possible to stop the machinr god from being activated. And thats why both stitches and needles hang out around the tele electroscopes in order to protect them so that noone may activate them. Thats also why i think everyone else is allowed to leave in the ending A because you stopped the acending process so the sulfur god won and sees no need to keep termina going and everyone caught in that trap. As the sulfur god propably just used you as a way to defend himself from the acending machine god. I think the machine god is a metaphor for technological advancements and those irl lead to a decline in christian belivers and the death of the gods seems to be a metaphor for the death of the religion itself. So he may have let your people go as a thanks.
As for pocket cat, i think he works for perkele/ the sulfur god under the promise of a new host if he helps get termina on the road. And since daan has a blank soul its easily shaped and formed by the pocketcat so he can take over a new fresh body. I may go as far as to say the baron told the sulfur god about daans soul and thats why the sulfur god was able to entangle pocketcat.
So what do you all think?

Warning for the PTSD Section and assault mention
I am writing this because I remember when I was hunting for someone with a good experience with EDS (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome) and especially anyone with Vascular Ehlers Danlos. I struggled to find anyone who did not have a horrible year after and a horrible surgery. I did have complications but they were not too bad.
Things we knew before going in from past surgeries we planned for:
My tissues are like wet tissue paper at best and it's like stitching jello at worst. For this the plan was robot assisted surgery, with reenforced stitches, and dermabond. Reenforced stitches means two layers not directly on top of each other but spaces a bit apart so the strain wasn't on one particular place. For the areas most likely to tear this was important.
Malignant Hyperthermia. Basically my body tries to cook me to death after anesthesia sometimes. It did this time but we knew so care was prepped
Dislocations of all the things. I dislocate more than most people with EDS and so we planned for any movement of my body I couldn't do to be via the sling method. They use a blanket to hoist and move you for less risk of joint and spine harm. You will dislocate because you aren't conscious to control those muscles and this will hurt for a while.
I also have a messed up spine. Multiple spinal cord injuries including missing vertebrae. This effects my ability to breathe when I sleep so does effect anesthesia. I did need Oxygen for two days.
For all of this we knew I was staying at least one night. From experience I knew it was likely two days. It was 2.5. I had a sudden recovery from everything just before the discharge cut off for the day. It coincided with my insisting I get to get up and use the actual toilet.
I also have Complex PTSD from non EDS things. For this they made sure the hospital psychologist checked in with me and I scheduled therapy for after surgery as I always do because surgery is vulnerable and triggering. I am a survivor of sexual assault and anyone else who is or otherwise struggles with vulnerability related to your vagina should schedule therapy. A hysterectomy is going to trigger you because of what it is. I don't think anyone can have parts of their vagina removed or associated body parts, feel pain in your body there, and not be triggered. This did mean I struggled with the Purewick Catheter because it touched me there and I have enough nerve stuff left despite paraplegia to be aware. I couldn't relax my muscles to pee after the first time so we had to use bed pans and sitting up (I managed to make a mess every time) and then finally the toilet.
Asthma issues were mostly the normal post surgical phlegm. I did need my inhaler once during my ICU stay on day one.
Mast Cell Activation Disorder - I needed a steroid while in the ICU because my mast cell decided anaphylaxis was a fun addition to my surgery. Surprisingly it didn't do the usual go for fresh wounds and scars but my throat alone. I assume the irritation from the tube did it. So I had some nasty throat blisters and mouth blisters. It only flared once and standard treatment for me worked. My throat is still sore but I am not having issues now. I did have a scar tissue abscess on my 5th day and a blood blister in my armpit that are mast cell related. My team and I discussed this as the abscess blew out so nothing to culture. The difference for me is in if the abscess has a core or refills or is just pus. Just pus isn't a real infection. I also had my white count hit 400 in the hospital. That was wild and the highest it has been. It came down to almost normal by the end of day 2 (like ten or 11 pm)
At home? My wheelchair broke so I am breaking the rules and using my walker. I am not supposed to since I am a paraplegic but as I can stand and take a step then rest I am doing that while we wait for repairs. The hospital did NOT break the chair. The chair is just old and my new one keeps getting delayed. My wheelchair is less safe and my doctors know because I made sure they do. Hopefully the new chair is here in time for my 6 week. I have alternatives and help if not.
I am rejecting stitches on one of the wounds. This isn't unusual for me. I expected more rejected stitches than this and hopefully none in the vaginal cuff. I don't know at this time but nothing feels off so I'm not worried. For the uninitiated rejecting stitches sounds scary but it just means you aren't absorbing the absorbable stitches. Once you heal enough they'll pull them. It stings. For me I sometimes get bits that suddenly come out years later. My scalp cancer site does a bit almost annually. It does mean the scar will look worse but usually that's it. Once in a while my body will try to make infections or infection like symptoms with stitches but that's probably the mast cell
For my stitching my doctors discussed past surgeries with me and contacted my plastic surgeon as I had a full facial reconstruction in my early adulthood and lost one stitch because I smiled. No one could tell within months I had surgery. So the stitching will vary based on what is necessary but every surgeon reenforces the wounds. This is not doubling stitches but actually slightly loose stitches with support from derma bond and well places extra stitches to balance the strain on the tissues. I always pop a stitch because it's how EDS rolls. This time my cat tackled me and the belly button lost one. Due to our planning this just hurt and I bled a very small amount. I also cried because it hurt and Czernobog has been careful since. His only other fiasco was trying to claim my legs and putting too much pressure on my belly doing that. He moved immediately on ow and is back to trying to make himself lay beside me.
I am not usually healed much by 2.5 weeks. Normally I don't have my stitches out for 8 weeks on my abdomen. 6 elsewhere. I have begun the EDS scab tango. This is where our skin flexes too much for the scabs to stay attached to the skin. It means usually extra bleeding and sometimes higher infection risk. This time one of my wounds is basically done. Had the scab come off with my blanket when I got up for meds at midnight and the wound is closed except the tiniest bit of skin. It bled a little (just a couple of drops) and made a lot of sebum (healing fluid aka the clear stuff you get on scrapes) and is good.
The others aren't as good but are farther along in healing than expected. The belly button shed a ton of scabs over the last few days but the important ones actually have stayed. They will pop off eventually and it will sting but this is the high strain wound for me and it is great. The only one that's being odd is the one with rejection. The stitches are acting like barbed wire and holding the scabs on but not stopping them from getting caught on things. I may endure my adhesive allergy (already doing it for the dermabond) and buy a bandaid for it. I don't use them so I don't own any.
That's it. My pain has been less than my normal pain. This isn't just my body no longer making elastin to prepare for the babies it hopes for which increase dislocations and pain for most people with uterus and EDS. This is also not cramping, no more twisted ovaries, no more bleeding. I have energy which is absurd as I just had major surgery. I sleep better. I didn't need extra pain management for long. I tapered that down based on what my body was doing and actually was off my extra meds at the 1 week point. The uterus and friends were that bad.
Oh yes I had a complete hysterectomy or a laparoscopic salpingo-oophorectomy with Trachelectomy and Hysterectomy. I prefer to call it Yeeterus or removing everything and the kitchen sink.
I don't mind questions. Also I intend to update this periodically with different stages of healing. I am aware from other threads and my own hunt that most of the experiences were not good. I noticed a lack of planning for the complications in those discussions and I think it's a part of my experience being so positive

People have been theorizing ways to connect the original and reboot Planet of the Apes films for years. The main gap in continuity occurs given the backstory in the originals of a nuclear war as well as a virus that wipes out cats and dogs, while the reboot simply features a virus that wipes out humanity and makes apes intelligent. However there is a comprehensive way to bridge every film in the franchise.
The new series takes place in California, whereas the original takes place where New York once was. We know for sure that the original Planet of the Apes film and it's sequel Beneath the Planet of the Apes takes place in what was once New York City, with most of the city's infrastructure (IE Statue of Liberty, St. Patrick's Cathedral, Queensboro Plaza, etc) being in ruin and mostly underground with the exception of the Statue of Liberty which is sticking halfway above ground, but it is important to note that the city wasn't completely blown away to dust, just lying in ruin underground
We see in the third film in the reboot series "War for the Planet of the Apes" two things are happening, the virus is mutating, causing those humans affected to become mute and regress to a more primitive nature. However we also see a small civil war between two different factions of the military, largely caused by confusion about the virus and why the general was executing his men. The film's climax is a battle between the two factions, bombs, missiles, and aircraft are used to blow each other away. The battle ends with an avalanche wiping out the survivors.
This ending conveys to us that at least two large factions of the human military wiped each other out in a battle using heavy weaponry, and that the fighting was caused over confusion/miscommunication regarding the virus.
There are two things to realistically keep in mind while watching this film:
A. It is incredibly unlikely this was the last of the human race across the planet
B. Given human nature, it is even more unlikely these were the only two factions of humans to fight.
What is likely is that across America, and the rest of the globe this virus mutated, made humans mute and regress, and lead to similar miscommunications amongst the already scattered military and lead to various other military factions going the route of California and use lethal force to contain the mutating virus, as well as fight amongst themselves in what were likely destructive battles using more bombs and missiles, potentially even nuclear weapons. For all that we know, while the events of "War" were taking place, there was a similar war occurring in New York, leveling the city and leaving only ruins, primitive humans, and intelligent ape survivors.
The original films make no mention of a virus that caused human regression, however it only makes sense that there is one. Even if there was a devastating war in the far past - that wouldn't necessarily cause all humans to regress into primitive cavemen as we see in the original film. In fact none of the original 5 films offer much explanation into how humans became that way, nor any explanation as to how the apes became so intelligent and advanced, the virus in the reboots is to date the only solid explanation we have as to how it happened. Given the original film is set in the year 3995, nearly 2,000 years after the reboot films, it isn't hard to assume the knowledge of the virus and what it does was merely forgotten and not well documented amongst the apes for the centuries following.
HOWEVER - there is one group of humans who have not regressed at all - the mutated humans living in the underground ruins in "Beneath". This is far from a hole in the theory though and instead reinforces it. There are two things to note about this group of humans. They live underground, isolated from the outside world (and any outside germs), and their mutations have given them unique telepathic abilities. One can easily assume that these humans never caught the virus either from long term isolation from it, or simply gaining immunity as part of their mutation.
There is one final hole to close and that is the backstory of the world that Zira and Cornelius give in the third original film, "Escape". The backstory to the world they give is that a virus wipes out all cats and dogs, leaving humans to take on apes as pets and slave labor, until the apes rose up against the humans, with the ape rebellion beginning with the word "No". Now while a lot of this doesn't happen at all in the reboots, there is something important to keep in mind, Zira and Cornelius are describing events that happened 2,000 years before their own time, and have extremely limited knowledge of the past, with all they know coming from their sacred scrolls.
Lets disect Zira and Cornelius' story:
Apes were never kept as pets in the reboots... or were they?
Cesear for years was kept on a leash and walked as though he were a pet, he even confronts Will at one point asking if he was a pet and looks at dogs also on leashes believing he's being treated like one. He and his top men who started his revolution with him were all kept either either in an animal control cage or a science lab cage... like pets.
The revolution DID begin with a single word "No".
Apes WERE at one point used as slave labor in "War" when they were all imprisoned by the general.
A strong argument can be made that all of these events were told simply by word of mouth for over 2,000 years, and as with most stories told for that amount of time, they become misconstrued and exaggerated. This happens in real world history, it makes sense that it would happen in the films, especially given that even in the originals, the ape civilization was not quite advanced and didn't have much of their history documented.
To cap off the final loophole - what about the last two movies in the original series "Conquest" and "Battle"? These films essentially confirm Zira and Cornelius' account of events with the virus that wipes out cats & dogs, etc. and this all takes place in the 1980s, well before the reboot series takes place. How can this be? This answer is the simplest - Zira and Cornelius traveling thru time and appearing in the 1970s and telling the humans everything changed the future, as they themselves even suggested. They inadvertently caused their version of the past to happen, essentially retconning the reboot series.
Conclusion - The reboot series fits perfectly as prequels to the original movie, and while the events of the reboot are later retconned, it makes sense in the continuity. The theory goes as follows:
The virus originating in 'Rise of the Planet of the Apes', that kills humans and makes apes intelligent spreads globally as shown in the end.
In 'War for the Planet of the Apes' the virus mutates, and as we know, when a virus mutates it becomes weaker. It doesn't kill humans, but it regresses them to a mute, primitive state. This variant spreads amongst human survivors, the spread along with lack of communication leads to war amongst the remnants of the military, resulting in cities such as New York being bombed out and left in ruins.
In the 2,000 span between War and the original film, the story of Cesar and his people was passed down by word of mouth and not properly documented for centuries, causing it to become misconstrued and misunderstood, but with certain elements remaining, resulting in the story of the virus wiping out cats and dogs etc. Some of Cesar's original rules such as ape not killing ape remained.
Nearly 2,000 years after the reboot films, the original film occurs followed by it's sequel Beneath the Planet of the Apes, where the primitive humans from the virus remain, but the underground colony descended from the survivors of the bombing are immune due to isolation and mutation.
Once Zira and Cornelius traveled back in time in the film, decades before Cesar's story, they completely altered the course of history, erasing what happened in the reboots (and potentially the original film).
So essentially the films all lead into one another, however the reboots, and its strongly implied the original two films as well all get retconned from continuity during Escape from Planet of the Apes.

I’ve had Bella since she was around 12 weeks old, and she’s now 11. We had two older cats that have since passed away, and now Bella is the only animal in the house. History of urinary issues (diagnosed with FLUTD), though we’ve since been able to manage it with a water fountain, Science Diet Urinary + Metabolic dry kibble, and even a Feliway diffuser (she is a nervous/timid cat).
Over time her gait has changed from loose and stable to a little more stiff and wobbly. I’d always assumed this was because she’s a little “cow-hocked” (hocks turn inward).
A few days ago (April 29), I woke up to vomit all over the floor, could hear her vomiting again in the next room, and when I went to check on her, she was howling, couldn’t stand, head tilting slightly, and she seemed very disoriented. When we carried her downstairs, she let go of her entire bladder.
Brought her to the ER vet who were able to treat her, run blood work, and a urinalysis. They sent her home with antibiotics as a precursor to the results of the UA. - Not a UTI, no presence of bacteria in her UA (still suggested finishing the antibiotics) - Next concern was diabetes, as her glucose was elevated
We had her in with our regular vet yesterday (May 2) to test for diabetes. They ran a Chem8 and Catalyst Fructosamine, which they used to rule out diabetes. The leading theory now is that she may have had a stroke or a seizure, and we’ve been referred to a neurologist for a consult. They mentioned her awkward gait as one reason they suspect it to be a vascular event.
I know she can’t be diagnosed over the internet, but I’m just wondering if this could still potentially be diabetes or some sort of autoimmune disease. We had a vacation planned May 5th to the 10th which is why we took her in for a diabetes test so soon, but should we have waited longer to take her in? I’m mostly just nervous about leaving her in the event something happens while I’m gone.
If it was a stroke, what are the chances of it happening again?

I have a 7 year old male cat. For the last year and a half, he's displayed signs of severe, worsening asthma. I've tried everything. Initially, the vet started him on the standard asthma medications - prednizolone and inhaled fluticasone, with albuterol to treat symptoms. I also did all the standard environmental checks: no clay litter, vaccuum frequently, no candles/perfumes, rarely cook on the stove, run an air purifier 24/7, ...
His symptoms did not improve, and despite the medications, continued to worsen. The only medication that seemed to help a bit was the prednizolone - the fluticasone and albuterol didn't do much at all. So I have had to keep him on high dose prednizolone, which I recognize is not good as a long term treatment and comes with its own risks, but as soon as I reduce it even slightly he becomes so severely asthmatic that I worry he's going to die.
We also ran him through a number of rounds of antibiotics, none of which seemed to show any improvement.
A vet took x-rays last year and concluded that he may have cardiomyopathy - I took him to a cardiologist at that time who ruled it out after an echo exam, and said it was most likely just standard asthma.
These are the notes from the x-ray last year:
"Multiple images are provided. The cardiac silhouette is normal regarding size and shape with specific chamber enlargement not noted. The pulmonary vascular pattern is normal. Pulmonary inflation is poor with a organize interstitial pattern involving the caudal lung lobes bilaterally and a bronchial pattern present which is diffuse. Within the abdomen there is a gas pattern within the stomach small intestine and:. The liver and kidneys appear normal. Serosal detail is normal with mild enlargement of the liver. The right stifle and Tarsus appear normal. The left stifle joint and tarsal joint both appear normal. Both coxal joints are within normal limits. The pelvis appears intact. The thorax compared to the previous study appears be static without progressive pulmonary changes however the pulmonary changes are notable and likely inflammatory or chronic. Cardiovascular abnormalities are not present. There appears to be evidence of aerophagia without evidence of ascites. A cause of the clinical lameness is not appreciated"
Since then, we've just continued treating him for asthma. I've tried cyclosporine as well which did not have any effect. Currently he is on prednizolone (very high dose...) and oral terbutaline to treat symptoms as that seems to help a bit more than the inhaled albuterol.
I also tried as a last ditch effort taking him to a new residence for several weeks, just in case there was something in my environment triggering his asthma. There was no improvement during this time, so I ruled out environment as the cause.
My current vet says the only path forward now is doing an airway bronchoscopy (along with a CT), but she warns that given his symptoms this is extremely high-risk and he may not recover from it. She says it is likely pulmonary fibrosis, does not think lung cancer is likely (as this would have probably already killed him by now).
Does anyone here have experience with this? Does this sound like fibrosis? Is there anything else I haven't tried yet that I should?

lyrics
without music
are shallow
and need the depths the emotional traverse of music provides
which is why good poetry is rare
with its need
to
provide
its
own
traverse
.
lyrics
without music
are shallow
and need the depth of the emotional traverse music provides
which is why good poetry is rare
with its need
to
provide
its
own
traverse
you know russia has a bullshit violence culture when you see this sort of nonsense
its really the promotion of intimidation by a state protected class
words jumbled together
obscure
incomprehensible
because
obscure
incomprehensible
too many miles away
to
ever write well
i am afraid
i wouldn't say they try
spew might be more like it
whimsical writing
outreaches
and outlasts
philosophy
where we are
and where we're not
can lead to confusion
because we are
where we're not
so many ideas in politics and the public arena are full of contradictions, childish/ low reading age in fact
for most of china's history they had a highly sophisticated in literary terms administrative class, zen in effect is a literary invention to cater to this class (powerful and wealthy) and as part of this process, draws heavily on daoist tropes like the reclusive sage
"Chan authors borrowed a set of well-established tropes from Daoism—and several from Confucianism too—in order to present more captivating fantasies that detailed the manner in which certain contemporaneous men had supposedly inherited final Buddhist authority"
some lines from a letter of emily dickenson to a friend, written as a comment on a funeral her mother had attended and described to emily :
life is death we’re lengthy at,
death the hinge to life.
my reply :
if death’s a hinge
what does it swing ?
or some window open
or cupboard interior expose ?
a gilles deleuze quote
“ creativity is an act of resistance ”
“ he states that political and social control is exercised through various forms of communication whereas art is (or should be) alien to this blinding; it should be a creative act with no or differently sourced information (or, at least, with counter-information), an act of resistance in which words (or shapes) rise into the air while their subject matter goes underground; a shape-shifting act that eludes control, an irrepressible gesture ”
this rings so many bells, the openness to embrace the new is so rare and the oppression of the nazis of mediocrity is not
ludwig wittgenstein’s most famous quote
whereof we cannot speak, we must remain silent
my reply:
of what we cannot speak, we can learn to speak
its not just a male world and neither is it just a female world
yet
each half
of the world
acts like it is
what slips between the gaps
is
something
else
ice flows not
but cracks
the adaption of water
trickles, rivulets, streams, rivers
and
the
sea
instants fall
but
the more sustained
is necessary
a rather intense harpist
j. s. bach - toccata and fugue in d minor
look at the fingers
today’s world
a multitude of ills
addressable by medicine
how unlike the past
when people just plain out died
or were invalid
for years
the emptiness of a still night
moonlight like frost and its shadows
the sky and earth
so vast
neither nothing or something
life
same actors
different roles
.
life
different actors
same roles
talk
without doing
without experience
without skill
we all know the problems with this
don’t we ?
the problems with the covid mRNA vaccines are not going away, sherif sultan, professor of vascular & endovascular surgery national university of ireland discusses the many issues
the professor is not so clear in his speech, you can stop the video to freeze the frame at various points to read about what he is discussing
basically a healthy population was sacrificed for a benefit for the medically frail, the fallout is going to roll on for decades, an increased cancer rate from the boosters is something to show on longer time scales, cardiovascular problems are much more immediate
more discussion by sherif, this stuff is really quite scary, i recommend watching the entire videos
traces
things that have happened
encountered again
much later
.
traces
things that have happened
encountered again
later
his coat so thin
"right" and "wrong" can only be judged by "consequences", that is harm and benefit and the alienating or empathizing of different viewpoints that is you end up with a bunch of ontological conditions to create any meaningful tableaux
then you can toss in the inversion of intention and effect whereby what happens as a result of an action is opposite to what was thought would happen so i would say "right and wrong" are not absolutes but the usual ontologies dependent on context and in the sphere of religion constructive as to their being whereas a more philosophical examination would deconstruct
i think "zen" here is ambiguous here because it sorta straddles being between a religion and philosophy and this is reflected in the constant discussions in zen about right and wrong whereas other religions are much more black and white in this area, well certainly christianity and islam, buddhism is more cryptic
these coincidences actually reflect the physics of a "fine tuned universe", that is, a universe stable enough and yet with enough gradients to enable life to develop and so we can observe our and the universe’s existence
the interesting thing is that clearly other universes must necessarily exist as our universe is in a sense a choice and the nature of choosing involves objects to choose from
philosophically speaking the quiescent state is being rather than non-being, so john 1:1 got that right, "in the beginning was the word"
unattached women
get caught
in the circular trap
of seeking attachment
forever
the "five ranks"
a religious ontology
as fantastical as the trinity
not even a bus stop
on a long journey
my computer system is about eight years old and one of the reasons i attribute to it lasting so well is a noctua cpu cooler, however recently i replaced the fan and changed the bios fan speed temperature profile to in effect constantly moving the speed which also unfortunately seemed to hit some vibration resonance spots
what surprised me is that with this new configuration that i got a couple of crashes which i can only attribute to the fan vibration modulating pin resistance on the cpu, i changed the profile back to a mostly constant speed and no more problems as well as being quieter
another reason it has lasted so well is samsung ssds with policies enabling write caching and turning off the windows write cache buffer flushing (you need a UPS to do this)
repeating nonsense
they flatter themselves
that
somehow
they
are
not
nonsense
a poem by fushan translated by suru :
in a hidden retreat, a rocky spring flows clear like my heart
birds spontaneously sing, blossoms freely bloom
i sight the mountains and rivers, the land's native character
what thing is not the tathāgata before my eyes ?
幽棲泉石暢心懷鳥自啼兮花自開看見山河國土性眼前何物不如來
my reworking of it:
my hermitage
a clear creek flows nearby
getting water is easy
and one loses oneself
in the distant views
the world is more open than we think
a superb study/paper , that clarifies how zen works and has worked, he is right on the nail imo, on the nail enough for the "zen establishment" to try to sweep it under the carpet
interestingly the new testament has the same sort of origin in literary sophisticates and we actually see it today in "fan fiction"
zen and christianity have this in common, very sophisticated literary skills used in a rather cunning and malevolent way (the intention is to deceive) creating the primary texts
you can argue the same for buddhism and islam and to an extent, judaism
a fascinating insight as to why "stalinism" worked and the gerontocracy under brezhnev led to the later collapse of the soviet union
a road is created with every step
cat genes
spread everywhere
they look pretty much the same
virginia woolf didn’t like james joyce’s book "ulysses"
personally i have never bothered to read more than several pages, i don’t know why it is held up as such an icon of writing
there’s a road forwards
you don’t have to take it
stalin
versus
charlie and eddie richardson, the kray brothers
violence
in scale that dwarfs
yet josef
personally was not a violent man
the cool edge of intellectual reasoning
more murderous than any tumult
of emotion
superyachts
you have to be wealthy
to bleed money
that
way
maintenance
running costs
lawsuits
accidents
big bickies
all
the
time
what arises
decays
and
so
on
without end
stand
outside this
if you can
too much concern and attention can lead to bad decisions
chinese saying
this is so weird, a very conventional soap opera along western lines when japan was at war in china and on the eve of its involvement in WW2
they even re-released a shortened version in 1947 like nothing had happened before
more than most countries i think japan brushed the imperial disaster under the cultural carpet and the generational memory has been lost
the notion of "robot", is, i think generalizable to cover a difficult aspect of reality, a sort of being "carried" in an unreal way with , however a lack of clarifying interaction whereby we start to see things in a false sense, this short video story illustrates the concept well
another good japanese film
the widow
broken brains
the sadness
and danger
and
sanity
of the return
of
the balance
of reality
one of the anomalies of the holocaust was africans in germany were not discriminated against at all, i have read several accounts of this, one from a woman who did get a visit from the gestapo, but that was because of her association with a rudolph steiner school, her brother worked for all the war in the german merchant marine as a cook
hitler himself had a very strong friendship with a young half jewish girl which he was forced to give up by his nazi associates that he complained bitterly about
actors, actresses and alcoholism .. i was thinking its a fundamentally depressed occupation, they are in effect robots for the directors and scriptwriters
unbelievable !
anterograde
amnesia
our condition
as human
unfortunately
words
can mean anything
but beware
of moving too far
from the common public understanding
who says aging can’t be reversed ?
when moon-light is white
and not yellow
ed. before my cataract operations the moon was a yellow colour, but after the operation it became white, interestingly, lens replacement is supposed to help considerably slow age related cognitive decline
“ researchers found that participants who underwent cataract removal surgery had nearly 30% lower risk of developing dementia compared with participants without surgery, even after controlling for numerous additional demographic and health risks ”
robots
not us
not of our species
constrained
not to match
our projections
nobody dies
they leave
this unlikely co-incidence
of
us
being
together

Struggling to even start this post. I learned masking from a very very young age, not all EDS related, so this is out of my wheelhouse a bit.
There’s a bit of a backstory l, I hope I can be concise. I’m 37, have hEDS with some vascular crossovers. Actually a published study on me being a rarity of a rarity. I digress.
My mama passed away July 27, 2023. It was was unexpected. She and my daddy had been married almost 50 years before she died, and they had a very “traditional” housewife/breadwinner dynamic. Mama coddled him hard- all he had to do was go to work and she handled basically everything else. Daddy can’t navigate the world alone, the days I have to stay in bed show me that he eats Oreos and considers cereal a proper meal. Believe I got that habit from him, I eat in a similar fashion but I’m not a 5’5” 70 year old man that is 115lbs soaking wet. I try to keep calorie dense foods handy, shakes, blah blah and he is fairly good at least having a shake or two. Just can’t get any weight on him.
I’ve lost a fair amount of weight myself in a quick amount of time, but at 5’5’’ and currently dancing around the 170lbs mark, I’m okay with it beyond the rapidness of it all.
I moved back home to make sure daddy doesn’t essentially become some feral animal and plus I wasn’t able to maintain my rent. So I went from living alone in a fairly small 1 bedroom apartment with a cat to a house where the kitchen is probably the size of my entire apartment, 2 dogs, one of which is special needs, and an additional cat that I have to keep quarantined to my room because she is a hateful old bitch of a cat that can’t/wont bond with my sweet boy who I rarely get to see now as a result. Plus I have taken over probably 2/3 of mama’s role of taking care of the house and daddy. I work remotely full time as well.
I can’t keep up. I can’t recall last time I mopped or cleaned my bedroom because I can’t make it that far into the house. I wake up, cry for a bit, and get up around 6:30am once my current reappearance of IBS forces me back up. I’m not sleeping because I am still not unpacked because the house was a shit build and I barely have a functional closet. I bought two closets, but they’ve been sitting in a box because if I don’t have time or energy to deal. This isn’t home for me anymore, I don’t want to be here. I get ready for work, try to do one task like a load of laundry or supper prep during my lunch break. Work typically ends around 5 and I start trying to finish x domestic task, cook supper, get daddy prepped for the following day, take care of the animals, and by then it’s around 8pm and I am spent. Not spent enough to exceed 4-5 hours of seemingly useless sleep.
My work is suffering, I keep expecting every day to be fired. I’m in a rural area where nothing is close by anymore. I’ll cave and Instacart groceries maybe once a month. I have an automated vacuum/mop tool but I haven’t gotten around to figuring out how to use the mop function.
I don’t know where I’m going with this. I don’t have anyone to really talk to/talk thru some ways to help me. I’m fighting a loosing battle and I’m in too deep to see any solutions. I’m not suicidal so please don’t mistake my saying I can’t continue living like this as such.
Conciseness isn’t my forte it seems. Thank you in advance if you’ve made it thru small novel.

Hello,
I heard devastating news about my 7 year old cat last week. I just wanted to make sure that I was doing the right thing, mostly out of guilt.

7 year old neutered domestic short hair cat, 8 lbs now
Very gradual weight loss from last vet appointment, has lost around 5 lbs since 8/2023
No other changes or issues noted

Blood work was unremarkable. We were sent to IM, and my cat had an ultrasound:
Abdominal Ultrasound-- Gallbladder- bilobed / Liver- hyperechoic with faint hypoechoic nodules throughout/ Spleen normal size and echotexture with a smooth capsular surface / Left Kidney- 4.05 cm with good corticomedullary definition and a smooth capsular surface / Left Adrenal Gland- 0.32 x 0.77 cm; unremarkable / Urinary bladder- moderate amount of suspended echogenic debris. The visible urethra was grossly normal /Right Kidney- 3.93 cm with good corticomedullary definition and a smooth capsular surface / Right Adrenal Gland- 0.41 x1.12 cm; unremarkable / Stomach- normal layering and thickness / Small Intestinal Tract- normal layering and thickness throughout / Pancreas- there is a vascular, heterogeneous, irregular mass effacing the body which measures 2.68 x 4.36cm / Colon/Cecum- unremarkable / Lymphnodes- no appreciable lymphadenopathy / Peritoneum/ Retroperitoneum: scant amount of anechoic peritoneal effusion. Hypoechoic nodules in the mesentery Comments: The bilobed gallbladder is a normal anatomic variant. The changes to the pancreas are more consistent with a cancerous process with pancreatic carcinoma as the primary differential. The changes to the liver and mesentery are concerning for metastasis. The peritoneal effusion has an appearance most consistent with a transudate however a neoplastic effusion cannot be ruled out.
He was subsequently diagnosed with metastatic pancreatic cancer. Of note, his littermate died from the same disease at age 4 (necropsy confirmed).
The vet was wonderful and extremely kind. She said that it could be a matter of a week or a few months before he has worsening symptoms, and it is time to proceed with euthanasia. She said that chemo is poorly tolerated.
Being a typical cat :), he hates the vet. Hates leaving his house. However, I read about how some cats are on pallida for pancreatic cancer. I just wanted to make sure that I shouldn't push to see oncology or discuss this.
My top goal is for him to be happy and content for as long as possible. I never want to put him through anything for my benefit. But, I want to make sure that I didn't miss something that could make him happier for longer.
He is acting like his typical self and is still so happy. Its hard to know that this is lurking underneath.
Thank you so much!

So my dad is 95 and diagnosed with vascular dementia. He’s always been fond of cats, and liked our previous cat fine. Got on with him, petted him and interacted with him occasionally. Since that older cat left, we got two new kittens, and my dad can’t stand them??? Anytime one brushes up against him or runs past him, he’ll claim it bit or scratched him. I’ve seen for myself that he’s making this up. The funny thing is, the kittens seem to be fond of him and run into his room at every opportunity. The kittens are around 6months old, and honestly don’t bother him at all. He also regularly asks me when I’m giving them away lol. Any explanation for this sudden change and dislike of pets?

My vet says my cat’s Lymphoma is in remission after only two chemo treatments — celebrating and slightly confused. Is this normal?

The Caligos Facility:

After-Battle Report:

Lower Caligos: