Always attract you me at six lyrics

All things You Me At Six!

2012.04.04 15:22 SamontheSide All things You Me At Six!

Take Off Your Colours and Hold Me Down because Sinners Never Sleep. Let’s Not Waste our Cavalier Youth because we're Night People Rocking out late to VI am. I'm gonna need a SUCKAPUNCH to wake me back up and tune into the Truth Decay!
[link]


2015.04.22 06:28 SwagmasterEDP the thicker the skin, the better the roast

Roasting (v.) - To humorously mock or humiliate someone with a well-timed joke, diss or comeback. (As defined by urbandictionary) Hone your roasting skills, meet other roasters, and get yourself roasted! Everybody needs to laugh at themselves! And other people, of course!
[link]


2011.07.11 05:43 TitaniumShovel Bo Burnham

We are a community devoted to the musical comedian Bo Burnham.
[link]


2024.05.19 21:15 Consistent-Sea-9966 Pay someone to do my gmat exam Online Reddit Pay someone to do psychometric test Reddit Pay someone to do GMAT test Reddit Pay someone to do my GRE Test Online Reddit Pay someone to do GRE Exam Reddit Pay someone to do my GMAT GRE test exam in USA UK Canada Reddit Helper for Help Reddit

If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):
ALGEBRA HELP:
CALCULUS HELP:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:
I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:
I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:
MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:
MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:
SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:
THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
HOW TO CONTACT ME:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
My contact details:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
Suggest more topic Ideas
Join this subreddit to help us grow!
submitted by Consistent-Sea-9966 to Studentcorner [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 21:10 Straw_hat89 34[M4F] Mexico/Anywhere - Let's bright each other's Sunday!

Hello there,
How's your weekend going so far? Well, I hope things are going fantastic for you either by doing all the activities that make you happy or simply by just relaxing at home, and being lazy, because why not, right? We all deserve to be lazy from time to time (or maybe more often haha). But don't neglect the classic Sunday cleaning, and laundry, ok?
About me:
Ok ,let's start by putting a name and a face to whoever is writing this: My name is Miguel, and I'm just a 34 years old guy enjoying a peaceful, and simple life in a small town in Mexico. Here are a few pics because I know that for some people physical attraction is important. But keep in mind that those pics are all good angles and lightning, so maybe I'll have to send you a selfie after just waking up to show you my reality haha.
In terms of personality people describe me, primarily, as a really chatty, goofy, and curious person. But also as caring, supportive, empathic, and attentive. I value honesty, good communication, respect, loyalty, kindness, and empathy. So I'd love to find someone who's in the same channel because I'd love to receive what I can provide.
I consider myself a homebody type of person: I love to spend plenty of time at home watching Netflix, baseball games, interesting (they are random but I prefer to call them that) YT videos, sometimes listening to music, and I have been getting into reading recently (It helps me to sleep better). When I'm not at home I like to go for walks around town or spending time at the plaza or the park. On rare occasions I go to the city either to go to the movies, a baseball game, or just to buy clothes.
I have been slowly getting back into working out after some time dealing with injuries, so I'm taking things slowly, and being mindful about my body. Important to mention I workout at home, so if you into that we can maybe be gym buddies. Another thing I'm getting back into it is learning new languages. On top of Spanish and English, I also speak Portuguese, a bit of French, and I'm currently starting with Norwegian (people say it's easy so why not).
Last but not least, animals are a really important part of my life, especially dogs, and even when I don't have pets of my own just yet, my family and I, we take care of a couple of stray dogs, and one feral cat (I'm pretty sure my parents love them more than they love me). So cute dog and cat pictures are always on the menu.
I hope the post is not too long, but I really wanted to share some random facts about myself just to make you laugh and learn a bit more about me.
Bonus:
submitted by Straw_hat89 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 21:03 EffortSharp5082 confession: despite having aspergers, I'm such a shady individual. Do you relate?

To be honest, I don't know where the naive/nice guy/girl stereotype comes from. I'm anything but naive/nice. I've come to the conclusion that i'm not a good person at all, exactly the opposite. I'm bad. I'm not humble, i'm extremelly judgemental and nonchalant at the same time. I hate lots of people that never did something bad to me. I'm hateful for no reason, I tend to imagine myself being bullied and rejected but it's absolutely delusional, because i've never been bullied. Simply because other people fear me.
I mean, I used to be isolated by other guys on school/high school, but they never bullied me. I was the unlikeable one, the arrogant one, always comparing myself to others, believing i'm extremelly good looking and unappreciated, I've always felt like other people owe me lots of things.
I'm attracted to delinquency and I resent my father, I hate wealthy people, I hate people that look better than me. I'm so trashy, so arrogant, so cruel, so cynical, so vulgar...
Seriously, this is not a bait nor a troll posting. I've just come to the conclusion that despite having aspergers, i'm not wise, i'm not brilliant, i'm not benevolent, i'm not innocent, i'm not unself aware, i'm not cultured....totally the opposite!
I absolutely lack of humanity. I don't know how the hell I couldnt realise It before. I've been told that i'm special and good because of my diagnosis lots of times before, and I don't believe It anymore.
Do you relate?
submitted by EffortSharp5082 to aspergers [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:58 Terrible_Letter8871 Observation with reactive dog on hike

My six year old cattle dog mix is dog reactive in certain situations. Some dogs he's completely cool with but I noticed that dogs that either growl/bark/make intense eye contact with him first turns him into a demon... If the dog is chill or ignores him, he does the same. He's never had a altercation or bitten, but I don't want to risk it.
I love hiking and mostly try to take him to secluded areas but feel a constant sense of guilt if I hike without him. So, yesterday I decided to just take him on a fifteen mile hike I've been wanting to do for years...
The first half of the hike went well. We encountered multiple dogs, all were very calm and he did great. Things took a turn with one dog who also appeared reactive when we were surprised by them going around a turn on the trail. The owner yanked the dog back and this triggered a reaction. My dog is very agile and what I'll do is most to a spot on the trail and have him jump up to where he's chest height and try to block his vision as much as possible. It's not always perfect but it allows us to get by...
Now, my observation. Towards the end of the hike, I was quite tired and he was overstimulated and began to get tense even with the calm dogs. Certain sections of the trail required me to hike him back quite a ways to even find a spot to wait... I think I added a lot of distance doing this and at a certain point got too tired to continue.
I've always read you should never pick up your dog while they're reacting but he was wearing a hiking backpack with chest and hip support, so I was able to rather easily lift him up and dangle him as we walked past.
What surprised me was when I did this he was probably MORE calm than I've ever seen him. Once or twice he gave a little growl so I covered his eyes and said "don't make eye contact bud" which elicited a few laughs from other hikers. I explained to the other hikers he's reactive or he's a little sassy with other dogs, and most people seemed really thankful I was wasn't allowing interaction at all. I also gave him lots of praise for every time we passed without him growling.
Him being more calm than ever when I just lifted and carried him was really interesting to me. I've read a few ones that some dogs feel it's their job to "protect" and that might fuel some reactivity, but if they feel protected by you, the reaction stops.
Has anyone else experienced similar with their pup?
submitted by Terrible_Letter8871 to reactivedogs [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:56 Illustrious_Yam5082 My Legacy Update 4.0 Part 2: Red head madness

My Legacy Update 4.0 Part 2: Red head madness
Welcome back to my legacy update! Generation 4 heiress Brie Legacy is at uni. We invited her parents over for dinner just to check in with them. Professor Garrett and generation 3 heiress, Blu Legacy. We made sure no one else was at the Greek house so they didn't have the opportunity to cheat on free will, lol. Instead, I found them flirting and kissing each other.
Brie congratulated\ed her mother on growing old, way to go! :P I still can't believe I have made it this far in a family. In all my years of playing I have never made it past generation 3, so Brie is extra special to me.
And Brie only deserves the best. In our last update we found her future spouse, Weldon. I really like him, look at this awesome gift he gave Brie after their date. This fancy fountain. I always regift gifts as I feel like it's cheating, but I decided to keep this one. You can see I placed it out front in the previous photo.
Things had been going great between Weldon and Brie. He was always over at the Greek house ready to party with Brie. He really is such a handsome sim, lol.
Sometimes it could get a little awkward. Being a popularity sim Brie did not want any enemies. In our last update she unknowingly cheated on her crush Corey. She still found him attractive, but they now remain friends.
The way Corey stares at them making out, lol. But Weldon is the one we want. He has never shown any signs of attraction to another sim (that we know of) which Corey had done on their first date. They also clashed when trying to find something to talk about, where Weldon and Brie can talk for hours.
Brie has a thing for red heads apparently, although her turn ons are cleanliness and swimsuits. This guy has probably heard how how Brie 'gets around' and I imagined him saying \"I heard YOU were a good kisser! *points*\" lol.
During one of their parties, Brie rolled the want to get engaged to Weldon so I obliged. He seemed happy in the moment.
Until I saw the red ring symbol D: how dare you Weldon! You should be beyond grateful to have the opportunity to enter my legacy challenge. Hmph. He is a fortune sim, maybe he is sad because he is marrying a \"poor sim\" since we don't have to much money at university. Looks like Corey is having fun dancing with a pretty blonde back there though.
Finally, Brie was welcomed into the secret society. She is the second sim in my legacy to join, the first was her Uncle BJ from the previous generation, also a popularity sim. And yes, that is Weldon in his underwear back their eating spoiled pizza.
Not much to the secret society. A few career rewards and a kitchen here. A cool outfit and a secret handshake among fellow secret society members.
Brie spent the time with her friends, chit chatting and gossiping, mainly about Corey.
Corey seemed to be the main topic for Brie to talk about, however.
They were now friends, best friends, best friends forever actually. (And a crush) but he was still extremely angry over being cheated on. He walks by often to show his anger, sometimes knows down the trash can. When is he going to get over it!? They weren't even serious; it was just a small crush.
Even though Weldon has the red engagement ring memory, he was the one that we liked. I liked that he took charge and did romantic interactions to Brie all on his own.
He really did love that toga outfit though, I don't think we have seen him in anything else, besides his underwear. No idea what his main outfit is, lol. But this is where were going to leave this update. Brie is just a semester away from graduating. In our next update she will have a graduation party and head back home!
Brie Legacy, a sim so cool she wears two pairs of shades ;)
submitted by Illustrious_Yam5082 to sims2 [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:52 ScheduleAfraid1285 Pay someone to take my GMAT exam Reddit Pay someone to take my GMAT Test Online Reddit gmat online cheating reddit hire someone to take gre for me Reddit Pay someone to take psychometric test Reddit Hire someone to take gre for me online Reddit GMAT GRE Exam Taker for Test Help Reddit

If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ASSESSMENTS I CAN COMPLETE:
MY MATH SUBJECTS OF EXPERTISE:
I am very knowledgeable and proficient in assisting students in a wide range of mathematics classes. I can help students complete their homework assignments and other projects get an A on quizzes, tests, and exams (including proctored assessments) answer online discussion posts write essays & papers in MLA APA Chicago format and provide general overall academic help in each math course listed below:
STATISTICS HELP (MY BEST SUBJECT):
ALGEBRA HELP:
CALCULUS HELP:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
ATTRIBUTES THAT SET ME APART FROM OTHER TUTORS:
I CAN AID STUDENTS TAKING PROCTORED ASSESSMENTS:
I CAN VERIFY MY ACADEMIC KNOWLEDGE & SKILLS:
I HAVE PAID ACCESS TO OVER 15 STUDY-HELP WEBSITES AND MATHEMATICAL SOFTWARE:
MY AVAILABILITY & RELIABILITY:
MY EDUCATIONAL SOFTWARE OF EXPERTISE:
SCHOOLS FROM WHICH I'VE HELPED STUDENTS IN :
As of 2021, I have tutored and helped students enrolled at the following U.S. universities community colleges county & city colleges schools for-profit institutions listed below in alphabetical order:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
I OFFER FLEXIBLE PAYMENT PLANS:
TUTORING AVAILABLE FOR OTHER SUBJECTS:
THE OBLIGATORY "IS THIS A SCAM?" QUESTION:
Considering the fact that you found my contact information online, it’s understandable to be skeptical regarding the legitimacy of my services. Therefore, I’m willing to do all of the following to help you feel more secure in trusting me with your academic needs:
MY REBUTTAL TO THE OBLIGATORY “IS THIS A SCAM?” QUESTION:
At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider myself to be at least marginally more intelligent (both academically & socially) than the average person. Therefore, if I ever decided to suddenly risk prison time, risk my reputation, and risk enduring the wrath of modern-day “cancel culture” by scamming people out of their money:
HOW TO CONTACT ME:
Paid Help from Hiraedu: If You're struggling to handle your Online Exams, Assignments or any other coursework, get help from Hiraedu and pay after the exam. Contact details for Hiraedu is: WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657 OR Call: +1 727 456 9641
My contact details:
WhatsApp: +1 (213) 594-5657
Call: +1 727 456 9641
Website: hiraedu. com
Email: [info@hiraedu](mailto:info@hiraedu). com
What are your Thoughts! Write in comments and ask for help if needed
Suggest more topic Ideas
Join this subreddit to help us grow!
submitted by ScheduleAfraid1285 to Studentcorner [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:49 Yurii_S_Kh Women are the Bearers of Love. Lessons from the Myrrh-bearers

Women are the Bearers of Love. Lessons from the Myrrh-bearers
The Myrrh-bearing Women. Artist: Robert Anning Bell
This Sunday is called the Sunday of the Myrrh-Bearing Women; that is, women, bearers of myrrh. Having heard this phrase, “women, bearers of myrrh”, we can suppose that the profession or occupation of these women mentioned by the Holy Evangelists was to anoint the reposed with myrrh; that is, when someone died, they were to anoint with fragrances and aromatic spices the body of the one who had departed to the other world. But we are mistaken! This is not why they are called myrrh-bearers, but because they bore an entirely different myrrh in their hearts—they loved Christ.
Thus, their occupation was not anointing the deceased with fragrances. We can say much more beautiful words about them: The myrrh-bearing women were bearers of the myrrh of love for Christ. And inasmuch as they were bearers of this extraordinary, fearless, beautiful love for Christ, the Church considered it appropriate to dedicate this Sunday almost immediately after the great feast of the Resurrection of Christ, called the Sunday of the Myrrh-bearing Women.
Why have we called the myrrh-bearing women bearers of love? There are a few amazing virtues that we can learn by looking at their relationship to the Lord. Usually when we talk about this Sunday, we underscore the significance of women, and explain the meaning of this wondrous and blessed gift that is woman. And when we immerse ourselves in the stream of modern ideology, we even get the sinful desire to demonstrate woman’s superiority over man, proceeding from the Gospel reading for this Sunday, as if emphasizing these women’s heroism, courage, love, etc. And we would fall into this trap by wishing to prove that women are higher than men, in part due to the fact that they were the first to receive the news of the Resurrection: “Rejoice!” (Matt. 28:9). Perhaps there is a bit of truth in this, but we will never understand the Gospel in this vein.
I think that the myrrh-bearing women attract our attention by other wondrous virtues. First of all, they are bearers of love, who had enormous love for Christ. They did not abandon Him when He was abandoned and left by all, including by the apostles, who knew in some measure just Who Christ was. They saw Him on Mt. Tabor, they knew that He is God, and that they must not abandon Him. They saw Him in all different situations, when Christ worked miracles and healed They saw how He spoke, and understood that no one could ever have spoken or could ever speak as Christ did. This means that the apostles had very weighty reasons why not to abandon the God-Man, their Teacher, when He needed them near Him more than ever.
And Who accompanied Him when He was being insulted, when filthy words were being flung at Him, when people mocked Him and laughed at Him, when He hung alone on the Cross? The myrrh-bearing women. When love is beautiful, authentic, and true, it never abandons a person who has been left alone. To the contrary, a person who loves is ready to follow one who has suddenly found himself alone and in grief—no matter how heavy and dangerous the context of the real circumstances is—and think nothing of it.
The myrrh-bearing women also did this amazing thing. When we meet lonely, abandoned, and unneeded people, let us also learn from the women, the bearers of this myrrh of love, and be close to them.
The words I heard in an interview on a television program with the most worthy Metropolitan Bartholomew (Anani) seared my heart for life. He was asked, “What was the most painful thing in your life?” He replied:
“The most bitter thing for me will always be that my parents died all alone, without comfort, because I was in prison and couldn’t be with them.”
So, when someone dies, you need to be there with him, not leave him alone. You need to hold his hand, stroke his forehead, speak affectionately with him, and be attentive to his every move as he departs from this life. After all, he has become so important and precious to you that you cannot leave him at his moment of death.
Death can also be emotional and spiritual when you are abandoned by all, when everyone is mocking you—deservedly or perhaps undeservedly. But there is another kind of death—loneliness. But if you have a person who truly loves you, you will not be alone.
The second excellent lesson that we can learn from the myrrh-bearing women is that when we truly love God, we receive more than we expect. For here is what love actually means: receiving something of which, as you know in the depths of your soul, you are unworthy. Love is what you will never deserve to receive! You are so unworthy in comparison with the one who loves you so beautifully and abundantly, and you know that you do not deserve to be loved with such strong love as that with which he loves you.
There have been many cases in our lives when each of us as felt conquered by the love we received. Perhaps we expected to be scolded, spat upon, but we received love instead. This is an extraordinary virtue. Why? Because such love possesses enlivening power. And love is always good and tender, and hides a delightful nobility. It never wounds.
The souls of the myrrh-bearing women were torn apart by the sorrows of Passion Friday. They went to seek Christ the crucified, Christ the mocked, Christ the spat upon and tortured… They sought this Christ from early morning in order to perform the appropriate rite over Him Whom they loved. Otherwise, they would not have dared to go out in the dark—after all, at that time there was a patriarchal mentality. Women did not have the same freedoms as they do today. But these women, these bearers of the myrrh of love, ignored all danger.
They could have thought that those guarding the grave would chase them away. But they didn’t think anything of the sort! They had only one thought: to take care of the crucified Christ. And to their great surprise and horror, as the holy evangelists write, they found the tomb empty (in fact, it wasn’t empty—it was filled with the light of Christ’s Resurrection) and they received the tidings that Christ was no longer there! The angel said to them:
“Why seek ye the Living among the dead? He is risen! Go and tell the apostles that they will meet Him in Galilee, as He told them before.”
How excellent, how wondrous is God when you love Him as these myrrh-bearing women did! They thought that they would see Christ dead, crucified on Great Friday. But to their great joy they met Christ resurrected; Him Who conquered death for our sakes and deified our human nature making it just as bright, beautiful, and filled with nobility and with His Resurrection. Only sin spoils and blackens each of us—and how horrible it is to bear the burden of sin.
When you truly love, as did these women, these bearers of the myrrh of love, God always gives you more than you deserve; more than you expect.
And the final thing that we can learn from the myrrh-bearing women, from Mary Magdalene who also goes out early in the morning and sees the grave empty. She meets Someone in the garden where the Christ’s tomb was. And she thinks He is the gardener. She asks Him from a soul darkened with pain:
“Where is the Lord? Perhaps you have taken Him from there and put Him in another place?”
And Christ answers her, but she does not recognize His voice. You see, when we love someone very much, we know every modulation and tone of his voice; these are distinguishing signs for us: “This is the person I love!” The person’s voice means so much to you that as soon as you hear it you feel at peace, and the muddy waters of your soul become clear. But Mary Magdalene did not recognize Him them. She only recognized Christ when He called her by name:
“Mary!”
And she answered with all simplicity:
“Rabboni (Teacher)!”
What can we learn from this? That every time God calls us by name, the name we received at Baptism, we are revived. In the Gospel of John it is said that the sheep know their shepherd by his voice (cf. Jn. 10). We can recognize the Shepherd by His voice only at the moment when He calls us: The Shepherd calls His sheep, He calls them to the Kingdom of God.
When God calls you by name, only then will you recognize God, as it happened with Mary Magdalene.
“And springs well up, sweetly calling us by name.”
This, I think, is what we learn from the women, the bearers of the myrrh of love:
When we love, we do not abandon a person who is alone, sad, and abandoned, when he is experiencing the most acute need for help.
When we love someone very much, we receive much more than we deserve. This is what happened to the myrrh-bearing women who sought Christ as dead, but met Christ Resurrected.
The myrrh-bearing women became the first missionaries of the Risen Christ.
When God calls you, you learn to recognize Him and delve more deeply into Him.
May God help us to emulate these women, these bearers of the myrrh of love, so that each of us might become bearers of Christ’s love!
Source: PravoslavieRu
Bishop Ignatie (Trif)
submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:40 -dreadnaughtx How to know if you have mistyped

Some notes of mine...probably going to eventually put some of this into my book, which will cover The Enneagram as a whole plus insights I have from being a netizen for so long...
How to know if you have mistyped
The quick, functional version. Based on approximately 18 years (and running) of down-to-earth enneagram experience, which includes more hours than I can count reading about the types online and in literature, watching videos, including most canonical texts, some familiarity with all the popular sites, teachers, and groups, plus spending excessive time in small online communities exploring and discussing the types (e.g. “echo chambers” as I like to call them), including years spent on my own stuck in mistyping and/or analyzing the cultish dynamics that The Enneagram community attracts. If you can’t handle it or don’t understand it, that’s likely not my problem, but an issue arising from your own biases, limited experience, and struggling with the challenge of integrating what I have decided to share with you.
So, before you have a knee jerk reaction based on your own biases, please understand that this is good-faith information that has worked for me, my intentions are good and my experience is my own and it’s valid, so no petty retorting or pseudo-debating is going to change that. I put in the time and made the mistakes, so others won’t have to. This is intended to help people. I suspect there are others out there who have mistyped, but not for the reasons you may think. If the information doesn’t work for you, then set it aside. Suffice to say you’ll be confronted with plenty of that in your life anyway (but I’d try to take this seriously first, because I think it holds potential value for people other than myself).
I do need to warn you that some entry-level logical reasoning ability is needed to really understand what I’m going to share. If it doesn’t make sense to you or you disagree, there’s a pretty good chance that you haven’t understood it fully. Basic education might be needed to understand some of the more advanced logical concepts at work, such as the idea that any given Type X has many different manifestations, and our presumed ability to understand and recognize a type externally is impacted by how we filter our perceptions through our bias of how we believe that type will appear.
Some manifestations are going to align with and confirm our biases about the type, we’ll call these XB (B is for bias, so XB is our bias of how we think type X *should* appear, if we have a bias about that, which is subjective to the person making the call externally), but some won’t – some will align more obviously with our biases of another type altogether. i.e. X->XB, but also X->YB, X->ZB, etc.
This helps us to understand how the underlying Core Type can appear differently on the surface and our bias factors into all of it. E.g. if I come along and quickly say “well this guy here is clearly a Type 8,” and it’s based on the fact that to me he “looks like an 8”, we know there is at least some bias in play (because I don’t know him to truly be that type from the inside)…but I can still be correct, biases can be true sometimes -- assuming I am correct here, then in reality, this is because he’s a case of Type 8->8B. But to another person I might say “well this lady here self-types as 5 but doesn’t seem 5 to me, she seems type 9”. We have to take into account we could be looking at a true case of either 5->9B, or 9->9B. Assuming I’m wrong, then 5->9B would explain how my biases are leading me astray from the truth.
The Enneagram is an interdisciplinary system, it relies on both logical and mathematical elements, as well as spiritual and psychological ones. So not everyone is going to be able to use it effectively from the start. Advanced philosophical and logical knowledge and innovation can be useful in understanding it.
A few questions to consider:
1. Are you happy, healthy, etc? Relatively speaking.
Simple question. Accurately typing yourself should make your life better, and it should only get better over the long term as you understand your type more deeply and apply that self-knowledge to your life. Maybe there’s an initial shock point where you’re upset or coming to grips with your type, but eventually it should pay off as offering a helpful look into your own motivations and behaviors. It’s a kind of way to truly control your life from the driver’s seat, rather than being stuck in the passenger seat (with someone else at the wheel, god forbid).
If you’re just playing out the “shell-like”, superficial role of a non-core type, rather than getting to the core underneath (that’s one reason why we call It the “core” type), you’re going to neglect yourself on a deeper level. It will result in cognitive dissonance as well, causing imbalances in various places, since your core type is still having a strong impact, albeit in a less conscious way. Now if no type works for you and you feel you need to reject the whole system, that’s fine.
But if you’re going to use it, then at least make sure you’ve identified your dominant type properly, as evidenced by the self-knowledge and corollary benefits it offers. Even if every single person in the world says “you have your type wrong”, but you’re happy, sleeping well, healthy, kicking ass in your daily life, achieving your goals, dreams, etc., – then you can be pretty sure you’ve got your type right, period. The faceless masses can, unsurprisingly, be wrong about their views of us.
2. Did you arrive at the typing on your own, and can it stand up to others’ willful, unwavering contradictions, arguments, and denials?
If you were pressured into typing or retyping yourself a certain way or persuaded to stay with the same type even as you thought other types might be more accurate, you could easily have mistyped yourself. Now if you are being partially held in place by others’ validation of your type (especially those in an online community who don’t know you personally), then what you’re probably looking at is a kind of mind-control cult structure. I.e., you’re being subtlety brainwashed and manipulated via fixed ideas in exchange for feeling a sense of belonging and validation about your type within the community. You could easily have your type wrong in this case.
Of course, if you quickly buckle under peeexternal pressure when you naturally start to think of other types as possibilities when looking at your life and The Enneagram, you know there are some manipulation factors weighing on you and keeping you attached to a certain type that could easily be a mistype. In these cases, look not only at what people are getting you to do, but what not to do, which is potentially retyping yourself. It means they’re trying to keep you in alignment with their superficial ideas of you, keeping you constricted and in chains psychologically and spiritually (a slave to their egoic ideas).
If you had mistyped yourself, being open to retyping would be essential for advancing your own insight, and if you can’t even be open to that, then there’s no way you can be sure you haven’t mistyped. And it’ll be hard to break out of it if you feel like you need others’ validation, because all it takes is a few trusted, bad, or misguided influences to keep us locked into mistypes. Not everyone is going to validate our self-typing for us, even when it's accurate. Always there will be haters, hecklers, and trolls online. Our spiritual truth shouldn't be affected by those miserable people.
Don’t let others’ stereotypes, biases, gaslighting, irresponsibility, poor ethics, and bad faith influence you and get in the way of a happier life. Online interactions should come second to your real life, and if one of the only ways your type manifests is via online validation, that starts to shed serious doubt on the accuracy of your typing (especially if your core type and instinct is one of the more frequently gaslighted/gatekept in the broader online Enneagram culture).
3. Have you honestly considered every single type for yourself, across different resources and from different angles, over time?
If you haven’t done this, there’s no way you should be convinced you have your type right. Without that certainty, you’ll struggle to understand yourself and type yourself accurately. You need to understand the entire system anyway. There’s no way you can understand one type without knowing the rest of them. And obviously you need to really consider all the options deeply and rationally, consulting many different texts, in order to get a comprehensive picture. I’ve mistyped at least a couple times, and both were before I really allowed myself to open my mind about the types. I latched onto a description within the first year or two studying The Enneagram and clung to that without considering the alternatives, because I had identified with some aspects of the type but not the deeper fixation. While it’s possible to accurately type yourself from early on, also make sure you do your due dilligence and learn about all the types in full scope, and confirm that you have your type right as you do that.
4. Do you know the main online Enneagram cultural biases, stereotypes, and “rules of thumb” that amount to sophistry? So you can look out for them and set them aside?
These can be pretty quickly summarized, which tend to be some variation of beliefs that: everyone is mistyped by default, self-typed 8s are really Type 6s or sometimes 3s (they just can’t see it), many self-typed 5s and 4s are really 6s or 9s, people mistype as 8s because everyone wants to be “the strong one”, true 8s are extremely rare and even “unicorns” (the true-to-life presumption being that 8 is a superior type to be gatekept and treated like a club), people over-SX-type themselves and most people are actually SX-last, etc.
So when many people go to a popular “typing service” or “typing expert” and are all given the same or extremely similar typings, I find that suspicious and not a reliable way to type. If it works for you, do it, but most of us would disregard those suggestions anyway because they aren’t based on a sufficiently deep knowledge of us needed to move beyond merely projecting their own biases. We might be better off just guessing randomly at what our type is, given how these others’ biases keep them locked into certain patterns of identifying a type for us.
And all of these I mentioned are largely just “status quo” assumptions, they aren’t based on any actual research or hardcore data, they’re mediocre generalizations at best. They amount to echoes in the echo chamber that just get propagated because no one wants to question them. While it’s true that 369 are traditionally known as “primary, relating types”, somewhat more adaptive and chameleonic in their nature, and they’re overall (probably) somewhat more common than the “secondary types”; while it’s true that the sexual instinct is probably less common than the social and self-preservation instinct, of course depending on specific population; while it’s true that people do in fact mistype and there is some truth to these ideas and reasons behind how/why this occurs, nevertheless, these guidelines shouldn’t be exaggerated and applied in an unbridled way, according to our whims and agendas, and used to apply massive generalizations and stereotypes to anyone whose text/video/content we interact with online. This would amount to lazy thinking and turning off our brains, and facilitating even more toxic, robotic, programmed social dynamics – exactly what The Enneagram is trying to wake us up from.
5. Do you realize that your type can only be truly confirmed and known with certainty by you?
There may indeed be some of us, experts, amateurs, aficionados, etc., who are skilled at recognizing a person’s type based on limited data, but this amounts to mostly just an educated guess and should only be done with a low confidence interval (should not be accepted blindly without in-depth confirmation from the person). At the end of the day, it would take a direct, experiential knowledge of your childhood, from your own shoes, to really see and verify your type and its formation accurately. Because the dominant type is developed in childhood, it “belongs to us” in a privileged and specific way. Someone else coming along and seeing us as an older child or an adult and telling us which type we are based on their superficial experience of us filtered through their own biases and perspectives isn’t going to change who we are on a basic level.
We go through many stages in life and take on many different superficial appearances, some of which can serve to obscure our core type (especially in light of this conflating variable of the observer’s bias). Also keep in mind, although we have a core type, we have other types active in us as well. The Enneagram covers the full spectrum of human behavior, and one reason why secondary and auxiliary elements and dynamics like the lines of integration/disintegration, the wing, trifix, and instincts were developed was to express, identify, and map how some of the other types interact with our core type. With all of that in mind, it’s not farfetched to see how we can strongly identify with a type that isn’t our core, while still failing to develop to our fullest, Enneagramically-informed potential.
Good luck to you in your journey of typing yourself accurately and applying that knowledge to your life so that you can be happier and healthier.
Thanks for reading and good luck. Sorry I don’t have time to get to comments. You can see quite a bit of time is tied up in writing this stuff so I don’t have the time for all comments maintenance. I do appreciate you reading this and I hope it helps someone. I want to make sure the book is interesting, original, and covers unique truths I’ve learned personally rather than just echoing what others have said.
submitted by -dreadnaughtx to Enneagram [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:39 TRMerc The cost of ending war

Princess Rolaea fell into a seated position on the floor as her Steward was positioned next to her. The other soldiers who were captured from the team she had been leading were behind. “I demand to speak to your leader.” Growled the Karvrithak princess as the humans walked about, almost gloating at their catch.
“You’ll get your chance. I gotta make some calls first.” Came a voice from behind view. The older Karvrithak next to her fake cleared his throat to get the princess’ attention. “You know, princess. Now that we are captured.” To which Rolaea interjected, “I wouldn’t have been if you had done your duty.” Making the older Karvrithak pause in annoyance. “There were too many between me and you for me to have carried out that duty; I have to now follow the rules for… that.” The princess froze for a moment. “You can’t be serious, Sarvik.”
Sarvik nods without looking at the princess, instead looking for the man he saw fighting with her. “Our culture is built upon tradition, even ones you might not wish to be a part of. You were beaten in single combat by a male.” The princess interjects, “Not true. Two of our solders were fighting with me.” To which Sarvik nods, “Which makes it an even more impressive feat.” He gets a growl of annoyance in return.
A human woman walked over, hearing them talk, “What is going on over here?” sitting down on a crate in front of the prisoners. Sarvik looked at the human. “Ah, maybe you can help. Who was the one by himself during the fight.” Sitting up, the human smiled. “That would be our fearless leader. Didn’t want anyone to risk their life as our formation required four in front of you.” Rolaea sneered. “You mean your trap.”
The human gasped at the accusation, placing a hand on her chest in mock surprise. “Just because your senses were not keen enough to notice us doesn’t mean it was a trap. We even called out for you to surrender as you’re surrounded, and you chose to fight.” Getting a nod of agreement from the Steward, who got an elbow for agreeing with the human, causing a grunt of pain. “That spot is a little tender from the fight.” Which got another one from the princess: “That is for your failure in duty.”
The human woman pointed a finger at the pair as if they were children. “Don’t make me separate you two. So, you were speaking earlier.” And Sarvik nods, “Does your leader come from a noble bloodline.” Which made the human smirk. “He would say he does.” Before taking a moment to pose and take a mock tone of the rag-tag group's leader, “My grandfather would tell me stories of how we were descendants of Spartan kings of over 4,000 years.” Getting a laugh from the woman and a nod from Sarvik, “Is there any possibility that is true?” and the human shrug, “Could be. It was a long time ago, and I remember hearing something about how everyone is related to royalty in some way or another because of mixing.”
Rolaea smiles. “See, his bloodline is too diluted. Also, I never heard of the Spartans so how much of a warrior family could they be?” Getting another laugh from the woman “They weren’t a family. They were an entire culture who just became part of a country known as Greece. They never died out or went extinct, they just started calling themselves Greeks instead of Spartans.” Looking back and forth between the two, Sarah started to smile more as she realized what the conversation had been about.
Sarvik nodded in understanding. “I see. What were the beliefs of these Spartans?” Causing the human to think for a while, “Well, I remember hearing the only way to get your name on a grave is for men to have died in combat or women to have died during childbirth. Both were seen as a way of supporting Sparta. They were fierce warriors; often, just a single word could keep an army out of the country. Oh, and marriage was some kind of ritualistic combat, I think.” By this time, Nick walked over. “What is all this commotion.”
He looked around at a giggling Sarah, a stoic-looking male Karvrithak, and what he could only assume to be a blushing female Karvrithak. Sarah looked up. “Oh, just talking about Spartian marriage fighting.” To which Nick sighed, “It wasn’t combat. Spartan men would meet up with the women they found attractive during the night and take them back to their barracks or someplace else.” Sarvik tilted his head some. “Do you believe Rolaea to be attractive?” Getting a wide-eyed look from the princess, “Sarvik, you stop this right now.” The human male looked confused and looked over. “To be honest, I never really thought of a Karvrithak as beautiful or not, but… I mean, if we weren’t at war… maybe, kinda.”
Sarvik nodded once more. “Then it is settled, the combat took place at night, and it seems all the conditions for both cultures are met, or at least enough to be considered valid under the mixed cultures doctrine.” Nick looked even more confused as he looked at the male Karvrithak, then the female who looked ready to die from embarrassment, and his second in command Sarah, who looked ready to burst from laughter and when he remembered what they were talking about, marriage, got his own look of shock and horror “No no no no no no.”
Sarvik nods. “You are to be paired with Princess Rolaea.” Which was what Sarah needed to hear to burst out laughing finally and almost fell off the crate. The whole thing caused everyone to look over, prisoner and non-alike. Rolaea: “We are in agreement there, human. There is no way this is going to happen.” Sarvik took a deep breath. “I’m afraid, as Stewart of the royal family, it is my duty to inform your father.” Nick shook his head. “No, there is no way I can marry a furball.” Sarah, for her part, finally fell to the floor before managing to get something out that wasn’t laughter: “Bum bum bum bum.” To the tune of Here Comes the Bride getting a kick from Nick, which only returned her to her crazed laughing state, which by now, more people started figuring out what was going on, and some more laughter started, only one from the Karvrithak.
Rolaea turned to look at which one of her soldiers was laughing. “Whoever is laughing is going to have their tongue cut out.” Before turning to Nick, “If we kill Sarvik, no one will tell.” To which Sarah’s hand shot up, “I will.” And Sarvik nods. “We have a second in agreement from the groom’s side. We just have to contact your father. He will agree to the cease-fire the humans have been asking for.” Nick looks down. “We would have to kill more than Sarvak.” When a cough from behind caught his attention, causing Nick to look back. “Command finally answered.”
Nick took a deep breath and pointed a finger at the Karvrithaks. “No speaking.” And then pointed at Sarah, “Pull it together.” As the now out-of-breath woman took deep breaths to get it back, “Ok, ok. I’m done now.” Nick walked over and answered the line, talking about the success at capturing the high-value target in their area and how it was the princess.
After a few minutes of talking, Nick returned with a different look on his face, and Sarah wiped her eyes, having cried from laughing so hard. “Oh, I don’t think I can survive another laughing fit like that. It was too funny.” Nick took a deep breath, causing Sarah to look up in amused horror as Nick spoke, “Command told me to contact the Karvrithaks and use any means necessary to get them to agree to the cease-fire.” And Sarah smirked while holding in her laughter and got slapped upside the head for it.
She screamed in pain, “What was that for?” and Nick smiled. “You said if you started laughing, you were going to die. I just saved your life.” Taking a deep breath, Sarah nods. “I guess, but you could have held back.” Rolaea’s embarrassment died down enough that she started to glare at Nick. “If you think for a second, I will marry you. I would rather die!” Nick held a finger up and bopped Rolaea on the nose to silence her. “Not getting married.” Turned to Sarvik, “Going to get Tony to agree to a cease-fire anyway.” And then turned to Sarah, “Someone is getting a demotion.” To which she replied, “Worth it.”
Nick sighed and walked away to a secluded area he and Sarah would talk, and Sarah started to follow. “Though, I’m in agreement with killing the princess; it will be a nice revenge for everything the furballs have done to us since the war started.” A hand going to her sidearm. Nick turned to her “Put it away, I don’t like the idea either. It could at least be enough of a distraction to get the upper hand or get some end to this war.” Sarah looked at him seriously for the first time since starting the conversation with the aliens. Nick nods. “You have a weird way of grieving, you know that. Your humor was bad before, but this is twisted. No, we are not going to plan a red wedding. We’ll use it as a cover to regroup and.”
Sarah groaned out of frustration. “Why are we even listening to the human collation? They abandoned us, and then when our resistance group got good enough, they contacted us and started demanding we follow their orders.” Nick nods. “Ya, not like they started giving us intel, equipment, trained soldiers,” causing Sarah to stop him. “Ok, ok, you made your point… still… marriage?”
Nick shrugs at that. “When we started fighting, I thought about how men used to throw themselves on grenades to save others… I’ve always been ready to do that…. I guess to save lives, I’ll have to take an arrow to the knee.” Before starting to walk back in, a smile returned to Sarah’s face; without turning, Nick simply said, “Knew that would get that cursed smile back.”
The two Karvrithaks had been arguing again, with the princess drowning out the stewart whenever he tried to give the transmission frequency to contact the king. Nick picked up a clean… ish rag and shoved it into the princess’ mouth. “Alright, fine I accept.” Getting a muffled scream of anger from the princess followed by what was surely an obscenity-filled tongue lashing, defeated by a rag. Sarvick looked at Nick, angry for the first time. “We might be your prisoners, but that is no way to treat the princess or your future wife.” Nick nods some. “Would you like me to remove it and risk going deaf in that ear?” Pointing to the one that was on the side of the princess. A momentary glance from Sarvik at the princess who was still trying to yell between attempts to remove the rag stuck on her sharp teeth, got a “For now. The signal frequency is 195.2515.234.202. Also, I would refrain from using your human slur for our leader. He doesn’t much like being compared to a human breakfast cereal mascot.”
Nick nods, then helps Sarvik to his feet and turns to Sarah. “I could use my second in command.” Gets a sigh of annoyance as she rebuttons the strap holding her sidearm while standing. “OK.” After approaching the coms the operator puts in the frequency and releasing Sarvick’s hands he types in a code as the image of the king of the Karvrithaks comes on with a roar of a statement “How dare you lay a hand on my daughter if she is not returned to me within one earth hour I will glass the planet as I would rather see her dead than at the mercy of you lowly.” As Nick decided to throw him off his game, “Calm down, Dad.” Causing the king to stop. “What did you call me, and why is Sarvik standing next to you?”
Sarvik coughed to grab the attention of the group and to make this more noble than commoner “It is with much honor and regret that I have to inform you that this human has successfully completed the right of binding.” This information caused the King’s lower Jaw to drop, and Sarah chimed in, “Funny you mentioned hand earlier because he’s taking your daughter’s hand in marriage.” The king looked outraged. “You’re going to cut her hand off for marriage!?” and Sarvik raised a hand. “It is a figure of speech, Your Majesty. Humans call grabbing another’s hand with your own taking. Often done before the rings are placed on the hand of the one being wed.” Nick and Sarah both turn to look at Sarvik, who doesn’t turn his head. “A steward must be informed on all relevant information.”
Nick turns back to the king. “As your future son-in-law, I ask that you have your forces stand down. Don’t want to accidentally kill a relative of mine, do you?” The king let out a low growl of annoyance as a spitting sound was heard behind the group. The princess finally worked the rag out of her mouth. “I object to this wedding.” only getting a yell in response: “I can’t stop it. If Sarvik has said the terms have been met, I would have to break years of tradition and condemn our bloodline to death to break it.”
The two humans went wide-eyed as they didn’t realize how seriously the Karvrithaks took their tradition. Turning his head, the king spoke solemnly, “Tell our generals to stand down and to return fire if fired upon.” The coms operator relayed the message to the human command, which quickly ordered a similar command. Turning back, the King looked like he was about ready to reach through the screen and strangle him. “Know this, human, if you have lied about your intent. I was originally planning on subjugating the humans, but I will exterminate your species if you are lying.” And Nick swallowed hard at the sudden realization that his plan of using this as a cover for the human forces to regroup was a bigger gamble than he first thought. Sarah smirked and turned to look up at Nick. “No pressure.”
submitted by TRMerc to HFY [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:37 Shiirooo Exclusive interview with Famitsu and the devs

Exclusive interview with Famitsu and the devs
https://www.famitsu.com/article/202405/5194 (translated by DeepL: there are probably translation errors)

Shadows is the next step forward for Assassin's Creed

Mr. KARL ONNÉE, Producer
--First of all, let me say "Thank you" from us Japanese, as "Assassin's Creed" is finally coming out, which is set in Japan!
KARL: Thank you for coming here today. I have been wanting to do this work for years, so my dream has come true.
--Why did you choose the Azuchi-Momoyama period as the setting for this work?
KARL: I chose it because it is a very rich period in history. It was a time of war and political maneuvering, a time of change from rural to urban areas, and also the birth of art. I also chose it because it was the start of the unification of Japan. It was a pivotal moment for Japan. Together, these elements provided an excellent canvas on which to tell the story.
--What kind of image do you have of the Azuchi-Momoyama period?
KARL: This was a time when the feudal lords of the warring states were fighting for power in the name of unifying the country, but it was also a struggle for control of trade. Portuguese missionaries and merchants came to Japan together. The Portuguese missionaries and merchants came to Japan together, and people who wanted a beautiful country and peace. This is the kind of image we have, but I think there was a mixture of various cultures and people's thoughts. And of course, there were the warring feudal lords. These are great canvases for the story.
--What do you think should be inherited from "Assassin's Creed" and what are the unique aspects of this game?
KARL: When people think of "Assassin's Creed," they think of stealth, but shinobi fantasy is not only a perfect fit for an "Assassin's Creed" game, it also fits the DNA of the "Assassin" brand.
What we wanted to do with "Assassin's Creed Shadows" was to push stealth even further. We started this effort with the previous game, "Assassin's Creed Mirage," but we wanted to take it further with new features. Systems such as light and shadow, grappling ropes, belly crawling, and a variety of tools available in the game provide a new experience.
The gameplay is also enriched by two characters, Naoe, a shinobi, and Yasuke, a samurai. Players will explore and discover Japan through the eyes of Naoe, a local, and one non-Japanese outsider. The game is more dynamic than ever before, pushing the limits of technology and offering an experience exclusive to the first state-of-the-art consoles.
The gameplay is also enriched by two characters, Naoe, a shinobi, and Yasuke, a samurai. Players will explore and discover Japan through the eyes of Naoe, a local, and one non-Japanese outsider. The game is more dynamic than ever before, pushing the limits of technology and offering an experience exclusive to the first state-of-the-art consoles.
--The "Assassin's Creed: Valhalla," released in 2020, is based on the theme of "Vikings" and has been a huge sales success. As a Japanese, I feel that from a global perspective, the Japanese "shinobi" theme is even more niche, but what is your current response?
KARL: I would like to talk about how it compares to "Viking" fantasy. Both shinobi and samurai are exciting and celebrated as fantasy with power, and are widely discussed in pop culture, and we are very much inspired by them.
Shinobi were on our radar from the beginning because we thought they fit well with the "Assassins" brand, but we felt that incorporating a powerful samurai would create two different gameplay experiences and give us the opportunity to tell the story from two different perspectives. We feel that this is a powerful motif that can compete with the "Viking" motif.
--How did you like the setting of Japan as a subject matter for the latest model?
KARL: I think it was perfect. For example, the "Global Illumination" technology allowed us to explore the response of light and shadow. Some consoles are still called "Baked GI", but by using dynamic lighting and the power of the new hardware, we were able to explore the creativity.
We are now able to express not only light and shadow, but also the dynamism of nature in greater detail. Naturally, since it is set in Japan, we have never dealt with so many trees, and thus so much data, in previous works in the series. We also needed more data to seamlessly move various things at the same time because of the seasonal changes. The latest models have allowed us to realize our vision, and our ambition for this film and for "Assassin's Creed" will continue.
--Assassin's Creed Mirage marks the 15th anniversary of the game. Can we consider this work as the next step forward for the next generation of "Assassin's Creed"?
KARL: You are absolutely right. Mirage" was a tribute to existing works, but this film is the first step into a new era. We are in the era of modern equipment. With the new generation of our engine "Anvil", plus the opportunity to create a new era by using the power of the latest consoles, we are able to do what we wanted to do with "Assassin's Creed Shadows".
With technologies such as global illumination and dynamism, we are now making the game we really wanted to make.
--What are the four pillars you are focusing on in the development of this game?
KARL: We are focusing on four pillars.
  • The first is to create an authentic and dynamic world.
  • Second is the story, introducing a new form of storytelling to "Assassin's Creed" by introducing two characters with different stories and perspectives.
  • Third, there are two different action sequences. Samurai and Shinobi each have their own training elements and unique weapons. For example, in castles, each has a different positioning that they excel at, which makes a big difference in how they play.
  • And finally, there is stealth. We are promoting the importance of stealth more than ever with new systems such as light and shadow, objects in the environment, depression, and grappling ropes.
-- The launch is scheduled for November 15, 2024. What is the current development status?
KARL: Development is going very well. We are proud to say that we have done a good job, but of course it is not finished and there are still glitches. This is the result of all the work we have done so far. We are very happy with how things are going right now, and we hope you will stay tuned for more news.
-- I understand that "Assassin's Creed Infinity" was announced at the previous Ubisoft Forward and that this title will be included in the game? Also, what is the development status of that game at ......?
KARL: "Assassin's Creed Infinity" is introduced as an Animus Hub (*a hub that will function in the future as an entry point for the series), which we will talk about at a later date.
--What is your message to your fans around the world and in Japan?
KARL: We are humbled that our dream of creating a game in this setting has come true. This is a setting that our fans have been anticipating for a long time, and for us it has been a wonderful experience to work on a game that we have always wanted to make.
This game is the result of our love. We hope you enjoy it. We look forward to talking more about it in the coming months.

The Shinobi Assassin and the Legendary Samurai. Experience the different fighting styles created by these two characters.

(left) Mr. JONATHAN DUMONT (Creative Director), (right) Mr. CHARLES BENOIT (Game Director)
--When did you start the development of this work?
JONATHAN: Development began about four years ago, and research into the time period in which the film is set began immediately. There were a number of cool subjects that brought us great characters and story plots. I had a gut feeling that this was going to be a very good game.
--Was the Azuchi-Momoyama period chosen as the period setting from the pre-development stage? Did you have an idea for a major point in Japanese history, such as the end of the Tokugawa Shogunate?
JONATHAN: I started from the beginning of my study of Japanese history, but I began reading with the feeling of a student. Following the Socratic principle, you took the attitude of knowing nothing. As I read on, I found some very interesting settings.
I focused on the Azuchi-Momoyama period because I felt it was an extremely important period for Japan. It was a time of warring states, the need to unify the country, and the need to defend itself against the growing influence of other countries.
It was a grand and complex period, and there are many stories that can be told from different angles. Among the heroes of the unification of Japan, Tokugawa Ieyasu, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, and Oda Nobunaga are best known among the outstanding characters in Japanese history.
Not only war, but also politics are involved, and they are moving toward the peace that will eventually come, with a good ending waiting somewhere in the middle. I strongly felt that this was a wonderful and interesting period that deserved to be featured.
It was also a time when the foundations of the arts were laid. Castle towns were built, the world changed, and people's relationships with each other and with art, as well as their inner lives, also changed. It was very interesting to explore this period, and I was strongly attracted to the characters who lived in this time.
-- Why did you choose the title "Shadows"?
CHARLES: From my point of view, there are two reasons. Shinobi hide in the shadows, so "Shadows" is of course inspired by that. In a way, this embraces the "Assassin" brand and shinobi.
There are other aspects to "Shadows" as well. There are "hidden things" in the game that must be discovered by the player, but they are hidden in the darkness in some way.
JONATHAN: Both characters are in a way connected to being shadowy heroes living in the underworld of this era. It's a cool title, if you can think of it this way.
--Why did you choose two main characters and two fighting styles? Also, what kind of combat action can the Shinobi and Samurai experience respectively?
JONATHAN: One of the reasons for the separation of the two styles is that from the beginning of development, we wanted to have two distinct and cool archetypes to play with: the samurai and the shinobi.
We also wanted to make sure that this fantasy was as close to reality and expectation as possible without being diluted. I also often felt the need to have two points of view in the development of the story, since history is rarely clearly black and white. The two protagonists provided interesting dynamics and perspectives on how to approach the game.
CHARLES: I think it is very interesting that in combat, both the samurai and the shinobi have special types of weapons. Therefore, the style of combat in this work is built on a more weapon-based approach.
There are weapons that only Samurai can use, and the same goes for Shinobi. The player can get a good feel for the two different fighting styles. And it is possible to switch between them.
--What weapons can Naoe and Yasuke use?
CHARLES: Both players have different types of weapons. For Naoe, we went for a more classic fantasy type shinobi. The chain scythe is a weapon that covers a wide area and can only be used by Naoe.
In addition, she also has a dagger used at close range, which can be combined with a hidden blade (Hidden Blade). Naoe can fight very quickly and efficiently with these.
On the other hand, Yasuke, who excels at overpowering with force, is given more types of weapons, some of which are firearms type weapons. They also have the typical samurai bow.
--Why did you choose to make the shinobi Naoe an original character and the samurai Yasuke a historical figure?
JONATHAN Even though they are well known in Japan, at least in North America, not much is known about farmers, what happened to them, and where the Shinobi came from.
So we decided to introduce a figure from Iga who is shrouded in mystery. We considered historical figures from the region, but we preferred a sense of mystery, so we came up with Naoe as someone who may or may not have actually existed.
As for Yasuke, from the beginning we thought that a story about the arrival of the Portuguese would be a very good way to tell the story of the crisis in Japan. The team liked the character Yasuke, and we thought we could use him to show the promise of discovering Japan.
We thought that if we started with a samurai already in Japanese society, he would be a very interesting and intriguing character, with concepts that we don't necessarily know. And it would also be interesting to see what happened to him. He starts out as a character who is already rooted in history, and we are curious to find out what happens to him.
I thought they would make a cool team, complementing each other in terms of storytelling, physique, and family background.
--What did you keep in mind when creating the scenario where the two main characters switch? What were some of the challenges?
JONATHAN: I wanted the audience to feel that "both are the main characters," but this was more complicated than it seems. Their stories overlap in places, but I wanted to make sure that as the game progresses, you gradually discover more and more about both characters. They have similar goals and motivations, but they are not 100% the same, which made it complicated and difficult to maintain their individual personalities.
Naturally, the quest can be played by either character. If a quest needs to be started by one character and completed by the other, the settings must accommodate both play styles. Thus, although it can be complicated, there are many opportunities to tell the story from one of the two perspectives.
Having two different points of view is a lot of fun, but there were some complications, such as having to use new technology in the conversation tools. There were some cool things, however. It is interesting that in the conversational scenes, the player decides which of the two protagonists speaks and they ask for different things. This is cool in a way.
CHARLES: Both characters are attacking the castle and at some point the player is asked if they want to continue with Yasuke or Naoe, both are interesting. At various points the player must make these choices.
The stories are independent, so if you want to know more about Naoe's or Yasuke's past, you can play as one character and delve into that character's story.
--Are there areas of action that differ, such as places that only Naoe, a shinobi, is allowed to enter?
JONATHAN: There are areas where both Naoe and Yasuke have different areas of activity. I can't go into details because there are a few surprises, but since Naoe can use a hooked rope, there are places that are almost exclusively accessible to her.
The world is designed to be enjoyed by both characters, and players can switch between the two at will.
Of course, if you want to reach the final point of the world or reach the summit through the ruins, then perhaps Naoe is the better choice. However, if you want to break through the fort head-on alone and open the way, Yasuke seems like a better choice. Of course, you can play with either character.
CHARLES: Each character also has specific actions. Naoe can hook the hooked rope to a specific spot and move like a pendulum, or hook the hook to a high spot and climb the rope to get to where she wants to go faster than Yasuke. However, Yasuke can use a shoulder bash to break down reinforced doors.
Yasuke can also perform parkour very efficiently in a more daring way. What can be felt when Yasuke performs parkour is how the crowd reacts. Because Yasuke is a samurai and exudes dignity as a superior class, the crowd reacts accordingly. Naoe, on the other hand, gives the impression of being more integrated into the world.
--Can you both use the Hidden Blade, Hawk's Eye, and other Assassin abilities?
CHARLES: Without spoiling anything, the traditional skills of the Assassins are mainly for Naoe. However, there is another mechanism called "Kantori" (tentative name) that can be used when you want to find an enemy or target person, and this can be used by both of them.
You can use free aim to look around, but you cannot see through walls. Yasuke can also be killed by stealth, but in a more direct and easier way. Even with stealth, there will be some sound, so it is a "stealth-like" approach.
JONATHAN: Kantori (tentative name) can be used to find many things in your current location. It is a very good guide for a certain area, but it does not take all the fun out of exploration. It is a good guide because you can learn a little more about where you want to go, but you are left with the surprise of discovering something.
-- Is there a skill tree that makes Naoe more combat-oriented or enhances Yasuke's stealth?
CHARLES: Both have skills that are more combat-oriented and stealth-oriented. Also, some equipment has effects such as increased resistance when attacked. We also offer perks that enhance your abilities in combat.
Naoe, enhanced to be more combat-oriented, has an advantage in melee combat compared to Naoe, enhanced to be more stealth-oriented. Both have a range, but cannot go in completely opposite directions. There is some overlap between the two, but we have made sure that the characteristics of each ability are properly felt.
--Please explain the skill system.
JONATHAN: Both characters share XP and level up together, but the rest of the system is a bit similar to that of "Assassin's Creed Odyssey".
XP and character abilities are available, weapons can be crafted to some degree, and various upgrades can be made as the game progresses. Weapons are not stand-alone, but for two, so each weapon has its own unique skill system. Players should not feel any discomfort, but this is a very different part of the game from the past.
CHARLES: There are two things that were very important to us in terms of skills.
First, we have to be very aware of archetypes. In Japan, there are distinct archetypes, such as the armor-clad samurai, the revolting monk, and the bandit, which are quite different. We try to make it clear to the player who is stronger, and we try to make that part of the leveling process as important as possible. Samurai are always stronger than bandits.
Secondly, player skill is added to the mix. The better you are at timing, reading attacks, understanding weapons, etc., the better you will be and the further ahead you will be.
--What is the volume of the map compared to past works? I would also like to know how you decided on the scale of this work.
JONATHAN: The biggest difference is the scale ratio. The mountains are not the actual size, but we wanted them to be true forests, consisting of trees of a certain size, so that you feel you are in a forest. To achieve this, we needed space.
We also decided to keep it close to a realistic scale, so we could feel the breath of many things. When we visited Japan and saw the castle, we were so glad we made this decision. Japanese castles are huge! Of course, we had seen pictures of castles before and thought they were big and magnificent, but when we saw them in person, they were astonishingly large.
And I wanted more space to explore the castle. Castles were built to be large battlegrounds, you know. You need space to build intricate walls for defense.
The overall scale of the map is similar to the size of the map in Origins. However, the scale ratio makes it feel more realistic. The open space leads to secluded areas throughout the game, which will be fun to explore. This sense of scale is a very interesting aspect of this film for us.
CHARLES: The story led us to choose which locations in Japan we would choose. The major events in Kyoto, around Osaka, and around Azuchi Castle took place in the same area, so we were able to focus on that.
JONATHAN: Of course, we had to choose a size that matched the game, but I think it was the perfect size for this story and type of game.
--Since the game is set in the Warring States period, is there a system that allows players to participate in battles?
JONATHAN: We see several battles in the story, and the battle at Iga is playable. There are other battles as well, but I can't talk about them right now. The game is set in the Warring States period, but it is not only about battles. It is a game that allows you to travel and discover that world.
--What challenges have you faced and what have you been able to achieve as a result?
JONATHAN: By making the big decision to go completely modern and demanding a very high level from the "Anvil" engine, we were able to increase the number of particles, create a more realistic atmosphere, and expand the graphical possibilities of the changing seasons.
This allowed us to work on a fresh new Assassin's Creed. This was a great opportunity for us to take a big leap forward in graphics.
CHARLES: Also, thanks to the new global illumination system, we were able to take advantage of light and shadow, which had a huge impact on the gameplay and stealth approach. For example, enemies became aware of our presence through our shadows, enemies gathered for warmth under a fire in the winter, or shadows through shoji screens depicted enemy presence, giving a new dimension to stealth.

By having two main characters, it is possible to show a wider range of angles and different perspectives.

(left) BROOKE DAVIES, Associate Narrative Director, (right) SACHI SCHMIDT-HORI, Narrative Consultant
--Did you choose the Azuchi-Momoyama period as the period setting from the pre-production stage?
BROOKE: I joined the project after the choice of period had been made, so the Azuchi-Momoyama period had already been chosen. This period offered so many wonderful opportunities from a narrative perspective. The complexity and duality of the period is well reflected in the characters of Naoe and Yasuke.
--What were you aware of and what were the challenges in creating a scenario where the two main characters switch?
BROOKE: From a storytelling perspective, I see it more as a wonderful opportunity than a challenge. When I write a story, I try to show rather than tell, and having two characters allows me to show what's going on from a wider range of angles and different perspectives. I hope this will encourage players to want to share their feelings with them.
--What do you think are the most important points in bringing original characters and historical figures into the game?
BROOKE: Both offer different and unique opportunities. With regard to Yasuke, I found him very interesting historically because we know some things about him, but there are many unknowns. So we needed to fill in the blanks in the story. It is important to note that Yasuke is a historical figure.
And in the case of Naoe, an original character, we were able to draw the story freely to some extent. The fact that she is a member of the Fujibayashi family and that her father is Masayasu Fujibayashi Nagato Mamoru allowed us to place her firmly within the setting. Because Yasuke is a real person but appears as a foreign-born samurai, the Japanese-born Naoe is on equal footing with Yasuke, although she has a different perspective.
--Will other historical figures appear besides Nobunaga Oda and Yasuke?
BROOKE: You will meet Luis Frois (a Jesuit missionary) at the meeting in Azuchi Castle. Also, Nene and Oichi will appear. The Japanese art renaissance that began in the Azuchi-Momoyama period blossomed in the Edo period, and you will also meet Sen no Rikyu, Kano Eitoku, and other important figures.
--Please tell us what year the story will be depicted.
BROOKE: I can't tell you what players will see, but I think it covers a part of the Azuchi-Momoyama period, from 1579 to 1584.
--I think the appeal of the series is to depict the struggle between the Assassin Order and the Templars while taking into account the history, but I would like to ask if there were any difficulties in putting the Azuchi-Momoyama period into it.
BROOKE: I don't want to mention the Knights Templar because I don't want to spoil anything, but the fascination and dynamics of this period are very interesting and provided wonderful opportunities for storytelling.
--How did you go about creating a world with a realistic feel of the Azuchi-Momoyama period?
BROOKE: We were very lucky to work with the Environment Team. The visuals they created for the game provided a great backdrop for the story.
The in-world experience added so much to the story. What we see from the stories and characters of this time period is complexity. I also believe that many of the people surrounding the World had their own struggles.
It was a very difficult time historically, and we see duality. Nothing is ever clear-cut and black and white. In warfare, two groups face each other and are confronted with different perspectives. But in the midst of it all, there are glimpses of hope for the future as we know it, which will later blossom.
--What advice did you actually give?
HORI: One scene that left a strong impression on me was the scene where Nobunaga's sister, Oichi, remarries Katsuie Shibata. In the original story we received, it was thought that the two families decided on their own without regard to Oichi's intentions, and Katsuie was portrayed negatively because he was more than 20 years older than Oichi.
So I spoke with BROOKE and the team and asked them to change it. Oichi had young children after the death of her husband Nagamasa Asai, so if her remarriage was to Katsuie, a trusted man who had served Nobunaga, she would have married him as a matter of course. When I explained that it was better to portray it in a positive light, it was a new discovery for the BROOKEs, and they were very moved by it. The rewritten version of the episode was very moving.
The other scene is the tea ceremony scene featuring Sen no Rikyu. Chanoyu is widely known to be translated as tea ceremony, but experts say it is a mistranslation. After researching the misunderstanding over here, I advised them, as far as I could understand, not to use a teapot or tea leaves, for example.
--Even we Japanese have a strong image of "ninja" as a fantasy. Did you encounter any difficulties with the theme of "ninja" in order to achieve a high level of fidelity to the historical reconstruction?
HORI: Ninja are certainly a fantasy, so I think it's a good thing that we can express ourselves creatively and without reservation. However, there are also dedicated ninja fans and communities around the world, and I am not sure to what extent they see the ninja as a real existence, or as an entity that existed in history.
Therefore, the extent to which ninja are represented in the game depends on the level of tolerance of the avid shinobi fans. I discussed this with the members of the development team. We did not have a specific policy on how much to express, but made decisions on a case-by-case basis. We decided on a case-by-case basis. We would say, "This is an acceptable creative expression," or "This is stereotypical", so let's not do that.
--I'm sure there are many references, but which one left a particularly strong impression on you?
BROOKE: The first book I looked through was "Nobunaga no Kouki" by Ota Ushiichi (Azuchi-Momoyama period, military commander and military history author). I was impressed by his personal observations as he recounts the details. We can learn a lot of historical facts from reading history books, but this author incorporated his own views so that I felt I could understand even his character and what it was like to live in that era, and I was completely drawn in. I was thrilled to be able to portray this time period and the people in this book.
--The drama "Shogun" which is set in a similar time period, has been a hit, and I hope that this work will attract the same kind of attention from game fans. I understand that you have prepared a "Discovery Tour" that allows visitors to freely walk around the game world with historical explanations.
BROOKE: I can't answer about the Discovery Tour today, but I am glad to see that interest in the setting and time period of the game is growing. I look forward to the day when we can bring this film to you.

Gathering a lot of information to recreate 16th century Japan and build a living world

(left) THIERRY DANSEREAU, Art Director, (right) STÉPHANIE-ANNE RUATTA, Historical Supervisor and World Director
--Please tell us what kind of materials you used as references to describe the field and the characters' costumes in the Azuchi-Momoyama period.
THIERRY: I have been working with experts and consultants for a long time, but for the characters, I referred to museum exhibits and books for their appearances and costumes. I visited several museums, did my research, and checked the materials with STÉPHANIE-ANNE.
Based on these, we created the characters. We also referred to descriptions in the books about the colors and the flags people carried. We used multiple sources, but we have checked them for historical accuracy.
STÉPHANIE-ANNE: For several years we had the help of experts, but we also did research with a Japanese studio and team. We used different kinds of sources to make sure the team got it right and had all the information they needed to reconstruct what Japan looked like in the 16th century.
We used museum databases, as THIERRY mentioned, but we also used inscriptions, scientific books, articles, and medieval depositions. For example, the Principles of Nobunaga has been translated into English, so we used that as a reference to describe 16th century Japan. I also referred to the documents of Luis Frois from the same period, which compare European and Japanese society.
--This period was also a time when there was a large influx of immigrants. Will you also depict the episodes, lifestyles, and culture of these people (missionaries, merchants, etc.) as well as Yasuke?
STÉPHANIE-ANNE: Yes, it is important to introduce the presence of Portuguese missionaries and merchants in the 16th century. They influenced the course of warfare during this period and the changing power of certain merchants in Japan.
--I am wondering what castles, shrines and temples that symbolize the Azuchi-Momoyama period will appear in the game. Although the game is set in the Kansai region, is the Osaka Castle built by Toyotomi Hideyoshi ......?
STÉPHANIE-ANNE: The era is represented by the construction of various castles and castle towns, so players will discover a wide variety of castle types and castles destroyed in battle. The Azuchi Castle, which is related to the name of the era, will also be featured.
THIERRY: Himeji Castle, Osaka Castle, and Takeda Castle are also available, and it is wonderful that players can visit and play in these castles. I think this is one of the strengths of the franchise, but all of the castles are based on actual historical blueprints, which I think is very unique, both as an experience and a learning opportunity.
The Koyasan Okunoin Cemetery is the oldest graveyard in Japan, which can also be seen in the game. There are too many to mention them all, but thanks to STÉPHANIE-ANNE and the experts, I think they are well described and it is wonderful that players will be able to travel to these places.
--The architectural style and decoration of the buildings is a different culture from the previous works in the series. What were you conscious of in recreating the culture and what were the challenges? I am also interested in the possibility of diving on the "Shachihoko".
STÉPHANIE-ANNE: The building team did a lot of research, and then we checked the results with experts and asked them to add the elements needed to build a great castle. We did research to recreate the decorations of not only the castle, but also the temples and shrines, and also to find out what materials were used to make them.
THIERRY: The colors also change over time, so we made adjustments to that as well. Of course, this is "Assassin's Creed," so you can climb anywhere and jump from almost anywhere. Exploring is fun.
--Japanese period games tend to be rather subdued, but were there any barriers to making it a worldwide production?
STÉPHANIE-ANNE: It's a game based on history, and we want players to have the opportunity to play with history. This period is so fascinating and celebrated, and has had such an impact on pop culture, that we were fortunate to have the help of renowned experts to make sure we had all the information we needed to faithfully recreate medieval Japan in the 16th century.
We maintained historical fidelity in this film because it was a rich period with so much to talk about and we didn't feel the need to change it. It is a rich setting, so there is an experience that goes into fantasy, but keeping it authentic was our primary goal.
--In the main storyline, can we experience famous episodes from the Azuchi-Momoyama period (such as the Battle of Nagashino, the Honnoji Incident, the Battle of Komaki and Nagakute, etc.)?
STÉPHANIE-ANNE: You will have to wait a little longer for that.
--In the recent series, "Origins," "Odyssey," and "Valhalla," you can enjoy the connection to mythology and fantasy elements based on mythological themes. Will this work also contain elements based on Japanese mythology, yokai, and other fictional creatures?
STÉPHANIE-ANNE: That is a very good question, but I will answer this one later.
--This work also reproduces the four seasons of Japan. Which season did you start first? And which seasons were particularly difficult to express?
THIERRY: I started with spring. We all know about cherry blossoms, and I think they are the most symbolic Japanese element for foreigners. And the big difference is winter. I wouldn't say that winter is more complicated because it has many different expressions, but it was very different from spring, summer, and fall, and the challenges were also different.
--What was particular about the representation of water, such as waterfalls, rivers, lakes, etc.?
THIERRY: All of the water topics were very important to us. We knew that there is a Shinto belief in waterfalls and rivers, and that they are important places in the Japanese eco-system. Even the blueprints of the suburbs are lined with irrigation canals, and they even go into the houses. Thus, we knew that water is a key component of Japanese culture, especially for agriculture.
This is why we installed drains everywhere in this work. The presence of water in the Japanese landscape was different, so we took it seriously and treated it as an inviolable part of the Japanese landscape and way of life.
--What are some of your favorite places, castles, or cultures that appear in your work?
STÉPHANIE-ANNE: That's difficult.
THIERRY: My favorite is Takeda Castle. It is on top of a high mountain and is called the castle in the sky, and I like this location. I can't say it's fair because we built it ourselves, but there are many other great places to visit.
It was a lot of work to create the forest, but I really enjoy looking at the landscape. I also like how all the ecosystems interact with each other, such as the clouds in the weather system. It's not a location, but I enjoy it because it encompasses the whole game.
STÉPHANIE-ANNE: I was impressed by the "Rakuchu Rakugaizu," Japanese folding screens from this period. I was fascinated by the fact that just by looking at them, one could come into contact with the vivid world of this period.
The artistic touch is something special. I have never seen anything so full of art. I truly admire the artists of this era.
THIERRY: I also think the most striking thing for me was the harmony of nature and architecture. I visited the site and found many places, and I could see how everything was deliberately composed.
I was told that trees were planted while the chedi was being built at the time, but everything looked perfect. Also, the culture loves the age and values it, so they cherish moss and things that have taken root there. Japan has maintained these places so they still exist and are still in use.
I realized that we are dealing with a subject that has a long history. It is also a culture that values space, living space. These were the most exciting discoveries during my travels in Japan.
submitted by Shiirooo to assassinscreed [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:32 Release-Your-Mind Me (26M) and my fiancé (26F) barely have mommy daddy time anymore. We have two kids and been together 6 years. Getting married in a year. What do I do?

So me and my fiancé have two kids, one is 4 and the other is 2, one boy and one girl. It’s literally the perfect little family. When we first started dating she would be all over me and randomly initiate sex with me and it was amazing. It made me feel so confident and like nothing could stop me and we never had a single argument. Fast forward to two kids later and it’s the opposite.
I understand she’s been through so much pushing out two kids for our family and I’ve been patient at times but others it’s hard. It’s been 2 years since our last child and she still struggles with the way she looks but I find her so fucking attractive, that I’m always touching her, tickling her, rubbing her back and everything. She doesn’t even look at me when I get dressed in front of her but claims she does and I just don’t notice.
We always fight anytime I tell her I NEED more physical connection from her but she always says that it’s all I care about or that I’m gas lighting her into thinking the last time we had sex was 2 months ago when she claims it was a week ago. She doesn’t make any sexual jokes with me anymore. She says she just doesn’t think about it as much.
I clean, I cook dinner almost every night, stay home with the kids and do laundry all day and cook meals for them all day. She comes home and gets on her phone to watch YouTube or goes to bed at 8. She’ll come home and hug and kiss me but it’s like she won’t go any further than that.
submitted by Release-Your-Mind to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:29 NoCustardo Need some urgent help getting out of this very very tricky power dynamic.

I have a situation that bothers me and i gotta clear it SOOn. People , even the ones lower in the power scale tend to disregard me despites me having shown to be able to be social , these uni class in particularly traumatized me and tore my hard won recovery from therapy to pieces so you guys know that i need HELP.
I left the group that had traumatized me and lived in uni in post trauma state terrified of people , thanks to analysis i am recovering again and realized that my classmates hold extremely outdated views of me that are harmful. They saw me when i had "low self esteem" and no people skills. I lifted a life of being excluded and i was doing great and was confident BUT my classmates kept pushing the whole "mentally ill" poor thing on me so bad i relapse bad and dumped anyone that held that view. I ended up suffering immense reputational damage and couldnt get into another group after what they did.
These people think i am childish and actively try to pity me. Funily enough i had a part time job while in post trauma and ouside people told me all the time that i was very social and i talked about the uni situation briefly and they all go surprised "How come you've got no friends there? no fucking way!" "I thought you had had a blast with your uni classmates too!"
So its these people that are purposely fucking me up. Few examples:
I dont greet anyone at all, i am allowed to frown and be disrespectful, people think im such a poor cause that they let me be mean as fuck and even a professor gives me grace. I cheated in an exam and got forgotten just like that, i tricked another professor into reapplying an exam to me and even used my dads ghost bussiness to hand in evidence of job so i could have access to that privilege and it worked.
A professor went once " you look very sad". I was actually furious that day. My anger can be read as sadness often.
Most of this class think i am dumb , in fact they go "You didnt read the honesty clause part of the exam did you ?" i innocently asked "what clause". That was during the time they had weakened me but i was still social with people. Of course i had read it, what amazes me is how stupid they all think i am while all that has been happening is that i grew too fucking lazy and dependent, OF COURSE I READ THE CLAUSES AND DECIDED TO CHEAT. I have adhd and used that to cover up for those nasty nasty traits of mine and became dehumanized. Now i need myself back and idk how to clean up
The pity greetings have stopped a long time ago. Again since a year ago i dont greet any of my classmates.
About the other people , i am forced to worked with the folks that none respects cause turns out i ruffled the feathers of everyone in my first recovery so hard people exclude me out of some shit envy . Got rid of the classmates that knew me since ighschool and keep seeing me as disadvantage and as if i couldnt make authentic friends. Trust me , not true. My friendships do fail but not for the whole "poor thing" narrative. I am quite charismatic and in good mental health i am downright fantastic.
The highschool uni ex friends stopped talking to me overly friendly and switched to formal. I am going more formal. The plan is , go lone wolf and recover my mental health entirely while excelling at my internships and pursuing a social life somewhere this shit stain isnt present. I know its not me but this fucked up view of me that i wont ever be able to shake off their heads. At this rate i am planning to go independent in my studies so i dont need to ask anything from none of these asses and move onto my adult life healed.
Here's the public view on me:
I cant go back to people cause i am in an addiction that gets triggered by being close to these people and they will most likely harm my mental health. they have seen all my vulnerabilities so i do feel hopeles. Given i will have to move onto a career that needs political skills at this rate i was thinking of using this situation to practice cause tbh long gone the days i wanted to be friends with these assholes.
I am also making a priority understanding things in class and taking my meds consistently cause whats the need of being a slave of these assholes. Even professors try to give me "life lessons" about psychology concepts that i am a thousand times more well acquitanted with than themselves. I also started being more formal when needing to deal with people. My hair is well done always due to expensive treatments and i dress in a fashionable way on the days i dont go "full hobo" due to exams. Maybe that why people outside uni react positively upon meeting me. On contrast there is this other bitch that has disheveled hair , dresses in a non fashhionable way and yet they all respect her and she helps in class and is the gf of the class president. Same bitch that goes around with the attitude of "oh no i know nothing" clearly shes just pretending . Fucking bitch i really do hate her jesus.
Externally i have good things , i am a polyglot , i can put effort into my appeareanced despites not bein gvonventionally attractive and i can be charismatic when in good health SO WHY AM I LOSING IN THIS DYNAMIC? i am very self aware and intellectually curious , far from dumb, i am ambitious, far from the lazy image , i like fashion , talented at working my mindset and are one of the rare people that massively benefits from therapy and can improve greatly with it , external stuff doesnt ruffle me if i am healthy, also like electric guitar and so much more.
Objectively speaking i HAVE HUGE POTENTIAL I HAVE VALUABLE EXTERNAL SHIT yet dont want to base myself off of it because those things are fleeting. WHY AM I LOSING HERE?
I am not well versed in power dynamics , reading 48 laws and the prince and becoming attuned. Need a way to strategically break free of this thanks in advance
submitted by NoCustardo to Machiavellianism [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:24 Straight-Lettuce-964 i cant stand the way my friend acts sometimes

I've known her for around three years now, and honestly, she hasn't done anything wrong. See, I'm a lesbian, and she knows. We've never had any tension (at least, I don't think we have) but she's acting funny around me despite the fact she says shes straight.
She's very feminine; long hair, dresses, jewellery, etc. Despite her being a very good looking person, I personally don't find her appealing at all. Recently she's gotten really clingy towards me. I've vocalized my discontent towards physical touch because it makes me uncomfortable but she keeps "forgetting" when i remind her constantly. She's hugging me for prolonged periods of time and trying to hold my hand and leaning on me and even keeps making jokes about how we're a "butch and femme" duo (even though im not a butch and just slightly masculine and told her she shouldn't use those terms as, number one, we're not in a lesbian relationship and she's not gay).
For dress up parties the past couple years, I've dressed up as men, and every single time she gets clingy and weird and once back when i first met her i told her i was dressing up as shrek for halloween and she showed up as fiona (but i brushed it off because i didnt care and i had only met her a couple months before)
I don't know what it is, but I'm genuinely starting to hate being around her. She acts all "fragile" and "hyperfeminine" and, maybe an unpopular opinion, I can't stand those types of people. It makes me feel sick. When talking to other people she makes her voice higher and god its literally driving me insane how annoying it is. Ive pointed it out before and she just changes the topic.
I don't let anyone hug me except immediate family; or touch me, even. Simple things like close proximity freak me out, so, naturally her clinginess annoys me. I don't know what to tell her. I don't know whether I can't stand her or vain hyperfemininity. She always asks me if she looks okay and if she looks good on that day and every time i just say "you look fine" or "why are you asking me?"
And whenever I enthuse about women I find attractive (women who are more masculine or androgynous) she gets all funny and says things like "what about feminine girls?" "wouldnt two masculine girls be weird? who would be the woman in the relationship?"
Ive told her a lot of personal things about me which is why i dont want to get in a massive argument or anything. I cant tell if setting boundaries would be overreacting as shes done a lot for me and... ugh. I dont know what to tell her. I cant stand the way she acts sometimes. She might be moving to America come the start of August, so,hopefully no more of that thank god.
submitted by Straight-Lettuce-964 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:22 Labished Roommate was a Creep

Maybe it was a red flag and I didn’t notice it but the fully furnished room was $500 cheaper than other rooms. My roommate lived in the house a shared bathroom connected our rooms. There was another guy roommate but rarely saw him as he traveled. Living with all men reminded me of being in a frat at college not worrying about various stages of undress or walking to the bathroom with an early morning erection so it was a chill environment.
The room was next to an alley and there was a building across with a second floor apartment that could see directly in my room. I never thought about it because there were blinds I always left closed. What I later learned was the cleaning person would reverse the blinds and leave slightly open so it appeared they were closed to me from the inside but outside anyone looking in from a second floor could completely see me. The bed was near this window. When I was in my room I liked to be comfortable so would be in boxers or nude. (In retrospect I now realize I had unknowingly given a few performances if you get my drift).
The other two windows had older loosely fit rattan coverings. At the time I never questioned the furnishings and didn’t realize that I was visible to outside people at night. The neighborhood was close to a couple of nightclubs hence people always looking for parking. I really didn’t question, but should have, the noise /activity outside my windows.
My roommate liked to cook and once a week invited me to share the meal with a glass of wine. Going into the sixth month I arrived home at night the house was empty and dark except for the common wall I shared with another room. I noticed light coming in through tiny pinholes, I put my eye close and realized I was being spied on. The adjoining room in the bathroom was also open (maybe the cleaning person forgot) and I entered and learned there was 2 way mirror where he could see me in the bathroom but I couldn’t see him.
My roommate wasn’t home I decided to inform him the following evening after dinner about the pinholes and give my notice. I remember some of the meal but feel I was drugged because I woke up naked on my bed with the blinds pulled all the way up and the lights on. Apparently the neighbor in the other building would pay the house cleaner to reverse the blinds and not close them tight an inch from the bottom. (I’m sure the windows attracted many voyeurs). I immediately walked up to my roommate and he handed me eviction papers and a video of me naked that the neighbor took and he said I was illegally exposing myself and violated the lease. Of course he and the neighbor were friends and I was scammed out of my security and cleaning deposit. I left and never took any legal action or filed a police report. Most importantly I try and get information about the person I’m renting from now, always check mirrors, window coverings and pinholes or hidden cameras.
submitted by Labished to badroommates [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:20 slurpymcderpydoo Truthfully, am I a high enough value guy to be husband & father material for a good woman?

32M in the UK. After tonight I’m taking a month’s break away from all social media because I’m pretty sure my way of thinking and self-perception has been massively skewed by instagram, tiktok, YouTube “red pill” male communities etc. for the first time in my life I feel like I’m gonna end up depressed and I need to change that.
Anyway I want to gather some direct, brutally honest feedback from women around my age, because in today’s world I’m not sure if I’m considered “enough” for a good woman. If you could take the time to critique me I’d really appreciate it. Warts and all.
submitted by slurpymcderpydoo to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:16 Radiant_Security_173 What I take from Shera as a happily married woman

I discovered Shera's videos quite a few years ago, and loved her humour as well as her message to level up. I started noting down all her little gems. They give me motivation, and a giggle too. I am older, in my fifties, and have been happily married for over 15 years, so I don't need her dating, sugaring, or 'get the bag' advice, but I do love her level up advice. I saw another lady share her notes, so I wanted to as well. There are tons, I've realised! I hope you enjoy them!
~~

How do you become the prize?

If you don’t start as the prize, then you aren’t the prize. If you don’t know if your mind that you are already the prize then you can never be the prize.

~~

How to be more feminine so I can be spoiled more?

It’s a lifestyle. You have to act, fake it until you make it, and create a lifestyle. The days that you don’t feel very feminine are the days that you have to use more of your masculine energy.

Remember to always have a space to come back to that is feminine, and recharge yourself with feminine energy. Create a more feminine environment, wear more feminine clothes, listen to music that is going to help your femininity instead of diminishing it.

Keep things that you like to do feminine and do feminine things. Going shopping, getting your nails or hair done, buying shoes, picking out décor for our rooms, decorating tables, going on picnics, watching girly movies.

Recharge yourself by doing some of those things. You need to be able to recharge your femininity at least once or twice a week.

~~

Live the type of life you want already. It may not be on the scale that you want to live it at, but it needs to be a version of it. For example, if you want to live a soft, feminine life make sure your current life reflects that: your current environment, the current way you dress, the current way you walk, talk and act.

The more you receive, the better treatment you receive, if you can get a provider who can let you live a more feminine life, a softer life, then it's just going to get better and better.

But already live the life you want to live, that way they can only improve you and they see how you treat yourself and see what you like and that’s what they are going to be giving you. Your goals will be met just by dating.

~~

What are some ways to keep him interested in he provides well?

Look good
Make sure you know what his interest are
Talk to him
Make sure he feels like he is the man
Look good when you are out with him
Make sure you are pretty and heads turn ‘ooh who’s he with’
His self-esteem will skyrocket when you go out with him if you look good and he’s not going to want to leave that


~~

Men like women to switch it up as long as it’s classy.

~~

Flower attract bees to them by their bright colours and they smell good. Attract men to you:

· Wear bright pretty colours
· Smell good
· Look fresh, dewy and youthful
· Look attractive

Look like the prize. Look like his fantasy. Look through his eyes: what would he like to see?

It’s not that complicated. Bring it back down to simplicity? What do men like?

Heels
Skirts
Dresses
Makeup
Long hair
Red lipstick
Baby voice
Feminine colours
Make them feel good
Give them compliments
Let them talk
Don’t talk about your boring stuff – they don’t care

Use the formula to get success with men.

~~

If you want to dress casual in jeans and a cute top, still wear heels, hair, full makeup. If you’re going to wear jeans, you’re going to need to wear heels.

Also think about this: what sort of man are you attracting. If you wear jeans when you meet you’re going to get taken to a jeans date. Dress for the life you want.

~~

Comment:
When we had a fight I cut my hair short & bangs & went shopping. He was so glad he said “you look like a different person!” The fight was forgotten & he treated me new again & took me shopping again.

~~

"Life is fun! (...) life is a movie, life is a stage. Get into character... "

~~

Men don’t care about anything else but what you look like and how you make them feel.

~~

If you’ve let yourself go, level yourself up to the point that their jaw will drop when they see you.

~~

The only limitations are the ones you believe in.

~~

What do rich men’s wives all have in common besides being pretty?

They’re feminine
They’re classy
They’re not loud and obnoxious
They don’t outshine their husband
They hold back and keep it together in public
They are well proportioned

Shera had a friend who was a little rachet, and she ended up marrying wealthy. She had to totally change everything about herself:

The way she dressed
The way she wore her hair
The way she spoke
The kind of shoes she wore
Her makeup
She had to change it all
How she acted around people
How she spoke to men
She had to change everything
It’s not that she changed who she was inside or her personality
It’s that she changed who she was around men
There’s a difference

~~

Your stock should go up after you get married, not down. If your stock is not rising after marriage you’re doing it backwards. That means still investing into yourself, your beauty, your clothing, into your stash (money, wealth and investments). If you got married and your stock plummeted, that’s your fault.

~~

Loving yourself means putting yourself first as a priority. Knowing your worth and value and not taking any crap from anybody because you value yourself, you love yourself. That’s all loving yourself means. And not talking down about yourself. And knowing that you deserve what you want in life.

Once you do that other people will as well – men, co- workers, your boss, parents, spouse, brother, sister, cousin, whoever. Whoever is in your life at the moment will recognise that you love yourself and that you don’t have to submit to them or that you’re not desperate for their approval. In fact they may start to be desperate for your approval. So make sure you’re putting yourself first.

Don’t be always talking about the other person and what they want or what they think. Don’t care who they are. Don’t care about other people or their spouse or the person they’re interested in. It’s not about them, it’s about you. If they can’t recognise you and they don’t like you, then you are wasting time.

If you have to sit there and be puzzled about why someone is not responding properly or why they’re not doing this or that, it means they don’t like you so just move on and stop trying to waste time worrying about it. You already know that in the back of your mind; you’re just hoping for a different outcome that there won’t be.

Make sure that when you realise you are putting other people before yourself as a priority then you’re not going to get the type of man or people attracted to you that you need. When you can get somebody in the click of a finger and they’re not used to that it means you are valuable and that they are not necessary. They are very unnecessary and therefore they feel like you have even more value because you don’t need them. You don’t need them, they need you. That’s why they seek you out. That’s why they call you, that’s why they ask you out.

Make sure you’re not getting caught up in silliness. If they’re not putting you first, you’re gone. Or you put them on ice; that means you let them figure it out and when they start acting right again then you allow them back into your life. If you’re chasing behind someone, if you’re worrying about someone who ghosts you then you’re not putting yourself first.

And that means you don’t love yourself. A lot of people were taught to act a certain way – not cocky etc – if you don’t, all people see you as is a doormat. You can let down your guards later when they are fully invested in you and aren’t going anywhere, but until that happens they are there to impress you.

~~

How do you fall in love with yourself when you aren’t happy with yourself?

Become happy with yourself:

· Do things that make you happy
· Look the way you need to look
· Continue to do this every day until you are happy

Only you can make you happy

~~

Don’t go out there lookin’ like Plain Jane. Plain Jane gets passed by with the eye.

~~

The key is confidence. You can learn all you want, if you don’t have confidence you can’t pull it off. The key is confidence, knowing your value, and not listening to no dusties. That’s the key, that’s the masterclass right there – be confident.

Be main character energy. Stop caring what people think. Have a goal of what you want and go for it and don’t stop until you get it. Speak positive about yourself and stop dealing with dusties. That’s just it. You do all those things and you’re going to have something. You’re going to get what you’re looking for. That’s it.

~~

It’s not what you look like – it’s how you make them feel.

Are you going to make them feel young again?
Are you going to make life exciting for them?
Do they enjoy being with you?
Do they like being seen out in public with you?

~~

Shera, on when you talk about all your feelings and prior history:

“You’re being an informant on yourself. You’re telling on yourself. You’re giving out all your secrets and revealing everything. So that’s definitely not feminine energy, because feminine energy is naturally dark. You know, it’s water, it’s the cosmos, it’s that. So when you’re revealing everything, when nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re masculine. Because that’s light- everything is known. So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have, because now you’re an open book. And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

~~

“Feminine energy is naturally dark, is water, is the cosmos, is that. So, when you are revealing everything, nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re more masculine, because that is light, everything is known.

So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have because now you are an open book, you’re predictable.

And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

~~

Get them to worry about you, while you worry about you.

~~

How do you find your purpose? You create it.

~~

Leveling up is actually a lot of fun when you are present and mindful about it it’s probably be the best gift you could ever give yourself as a woman.

~~

Stop caring what other people think and live the life you want to live. If you don’t like kissing people’s butts, don’t kiss their butt.

~~

A lot of women don’t realise that if you just get into your feminine, and you stick with your standards, you can get what you ask for.

~~

How to become detached and unbothered?

Stop caring. When you care too much, that’s when you can’t detach and be unbothered. Stop caring, become ‘take it or leave it’. That’s your attitude. You will be fine with it or without it.

~~

Comment:

Three years ago I was getting yelled at a public train station (which we had to take because neither of us had a car) by my dusty disgusting ex. I lived in a cheap apartment with four unsavory roomates and their boyfriends. Now I live in a luxury high rise with a conceirge and valet. All I did today was get a facial, sit by the pool and shop. I don’t have to worry about a SINGLE THING and every man in my life treats me like a queen. I’m truly breaking generational curses; my dad left my mom with four kids alone while she worked at Denny’s waitressing overnight. If it weren’t for Shera’s wisdom I don’t know where I would be today but I just give thanks every day that I saw the light. This is my one and only life so why shouldn’t I be living peacefully and bougie.

It’s crazy how fast life can chance when you realize your worth and act on it. Keep on inching further and further; the more luxurious things you do the more the rest of your life catches up. It literally started with me going to the expensive nail salon instead of the cheap one. Then I felt like I deserved more. I moved into a nicer apartment that was out of my budget at first, then a nicer car, then I started buying designer bags and now I live in an ultra-luxurious place. Small steps and the rest of your life will catch up in time. Of course look your best every day and be healthy. And do not give a second of your time to anyone who does not treat you with respect, remember if they’re not adding to your life they are taking away.

The universe somehow just opened up and rains abundance on me. The more you surround yourself with the vibrations of prosperity the more it will be drawn to you. Ella Ringrose on YouTube helped me a lot to draw in money.

~~

Comment:

Shera ever since I started watching you I have levelled up my life completely. I lost 50 pounds and changed my whole look to be more feminine. My husband was so motivated he started making more money and bought me a home and my dream car. He does everything I want now and he feels proud to bring me home his paycheck. I no longer work and just workout every day and focus on my children. A lot of my family members don’t understand this life but I am very happy and comfortable.

~~

If you give yourself away too easily, your value is low.

~~

10 Important Habits of a Gold Digger

1)high standards
2)high self-esteem
3)perspective
4)purpose
5)options
6)be unapologetic
7)looks
8)business plan
9) knowledge/value of money
10)stay unbothered

~~

‘Busy patterns that aren’t classy make you look older’. You can show how classy your clothing is by the cut, colour and pattern, not the brand or designer.

Look to magazines for style inspiration:

O magazine = for older women
Instyle = more youthful

~~

Comment:
Men need respect, they don’t want your love.

~~

Wealthy men like women who are thin, feminine, and classy, or classy/sexy.

~~

Classic = classy. Dress in a way that you wouldn’t look crazy in a photo in 20 years time.

~~

‘We’re not trying to fit in, we’re trying to stand out.’

~~

Comment:
Looking beautiful, adore your blouse and that classy backdrop. I have earrings very similar. I have to go out now, I’m over 60 and always look stylish heading out the door . Make up and a cute dress today. You never know who is at the coffee shop 😊

~~

Be cute, be feminine, don’t talk so much. Let him do the hard work.

~~

‘You’re not his momma stop acting like it’ video
Women will turn into their man's mother without realizing it! Then he will run.

A lot of times when a woman has been in a relationship for a long time or is married, they start acting like a mother to the man without even realising it. To avoid that, do these things:
· Totally change everything – change how you dress, put more makeup on, wear heels.
· Act ten years younger.
· Don’t be concerned about the things you used to be concerned about.
· Let everything be free and fly.
· If you once worried about dishes in the sink don’t worry about it anymore.
· Change it up.
· If he realises that you stop caring and you just put all that extra energy that you were nagging and trying to organise and keep stuff right or that you were frustrated about – if you took all that extra energy and put it back into yourself – and you stopped worrying about the house and the domestic issues and him doing this, this and that. He’s going to think, ‘Well dang, everything is out of order, now she’s dressing like this and putting on makeup and looking this way, and the dishes aren’t clean anymore, or she’s not nagging me about picking up my clothes and the room is a mess’, then either he’ll get up and do it or he’ll start turning into your father.
· You mirror what they do and they’re gonna start seeing what you are doing by you have to act that way with them.
· You stop cleaning dishes, you start leaving your stuff on the floor.
· You start dressing cute, and say you’re going out.
· You forget to do stuff, or you stop helping out because you don’t want to damage your nails or the Real Housewives is on.
· Start doing the same thing to him – he watches sport, you say, ‘Oh Housewives is on, I wanna watch it. I don’t wanna watch it later.’
· You don’t do any of this like it’s revenge, just like you joined him in not being responsible, or joined him with more relaxed rules.
· He might like it. He might be like ‘you’re so laid back, you look happy today’.
· Then he might start cleaning up more because it’s not an order.
· But as long as you’re happy and not nagging him, he’s going to do it voluntarily.

~~

How you act and how you make him feel will give you more power to get what you want.

· Look good
· Be more feminine
· Speak softly
· Smile
· Laugh at whatever he is saying and make him feel good about who he is
· Let him talk more than you
· Feed his ego
· Act vulnerable and he will want to do things for you, will want to please and impress you

(I added:
· Ladylike, dainty, girlish, delicate, compassionate, considerate, sympathetic, tolerant, warm-hearted, gracious
· Calm, refined and tasteful
· Agreeable, friendly, good-natured,
· Kind, moral, pleasant, delightful)

That’s how you get what you want.

Our power is in our femininity, not in our masculinity, not in being in competition with a man, but making them weak because we are giving them exactly what no-one else does and so they’re not used to it and they yield to it and want more of it and they’re going to do what you want.

Being feminine is the key to getting what you want. There is no magic formula; it’s just ‘being feminine’. Work on that and you will get what you want. Work on your baby voice. Work on asking men for things and help, feeling vulnerable around them and stroking their ego and you can pretty much get what you want, especially if you choose the right target. Don’t go up and choose someone who has a thousand options, go up and choose someone who feels lucky to be with you and who will act accordingly.

~~

Men don’t like jealous women. You look insecure if you show jealousy. If you feel jealous, act like you don’t care – laugh it off.

~~

Men don’t like to be told what to do or have someone running their life. They don’t need you to offer them suggestions – this will just make them feel like a child, emasculated and they will rebel.

~~

Have a hobby and have a life.
Have your own life.
Make yourself number one.

Make sure he likes you more than you like him. If he really likes you he is going to chase you and not let you go, and you don’t even have to do anything to make this happen.

~~

I am not a people pleaser. I live for myself not others. And that’s how you have to be to be unbothered. Be unbothered always and you will live your best life.

~~

I live in a fantasy world every day. That’s why I can create the world that I want.

~~

A dream woman is motivation for a man in every way. If you no longer motivate him, you are no longer his dream woman.

~~

A good actress will melt into her role.

~~

Instead of waiting and having regret later, make the decision now to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for the outside world and what they think. Do what’s best for you in the long run, not what’s best for you right now in this one moment which will pass. Think ahead. Right now is gone. As soon as you think about it, it’s gone.

~~

To be a dream woman and to be worshipped by the man you are with, you have to stay focused on you. Don’t be about him. A man’s dream woman does not mean she is all over him. She has a life. Keep a healthy distance instead of being extra clingy. That way you stay on his level. Make sure you appeal to his friends (in a classy way) too. He will see that others appreciate you and know that he has the prize.

~~

“Put outfits together in your mind when negative people are talking.”

~~

How to be unbothered?

Comments:

‘Fake it till you make it. That’s what happened with me I started to pretend that it didn’t bother me. Now I’m literally so unbothered and focused on myself.’

‘When you are showing that you’re upset or bothered, you are giving them power to know they affected you. I love everyone but I do not argue. I have trained myself not to get emotional even at my husband or family. Being this way also makes you more respected, it’s part of your charisma.’

‘Being unbothered is a choice.’

~~

Comment:

If you're over 35 the best ways to look young is to drink a gallon of water a day....it's good for wrinkles..and helps your makeup glide on like butter.

Eat less and eat as much green as you can (Kale, Broccoli, Spinach) so you can be as slim as possible so that you feel good in your clothes....

Work out to increase your confidence...

Dress your age....nothing worse than a woman who dresses out of her age range...makes you look like you're trying too hard...

~~

Build confidence by not accepting that you have low self-esteem. Every day improve yourself so your self-esteem gets higher and higher. Don’t wallow in it, don’t accept it. Every day tell yourself what you want:

I look good
I feel good
I’m great

Tell yourself that. Give other people compliments, and they will give you compliments. Before you know it, you’ll have high self-esteem. You have to work on it, it doesn’t come automatically. It took a long time to tear down your self-esteem, and it takes a moment to pull it back up.

Just work on it, keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone put you down again.

~~

How to keep your husband interested

· Less communication
· Less giving of information
· Spend more time apart
· Don’t get so close that he is going to want to back up
· You have to get close then back up, get close then back up again
· Look your best at all times
· Don’t smother people and they won’t try to escape you
· Have a life
· Have things to do
· Have a to-do list that does not require that person

Go out and do things. He will appreciate you more when you get back. He will wonder what you’ve been doing. He will anticipate your return.

Don’t let him conquer you. When men have conquered a woman, they will move on. If he doesn’t feel like he can ever conquer you, he will try harder. Never let him feel like he totally has you.

~~

Masculine people (men or women) tend to run to the rescue of others.

~~

Shera, on uplevelling your looks and being your best every time you step out the front door: Don’t let life pass you by. Life is short. Life is very short.

Comment on Shera’s video: My mom went through a season where she dressed up and it just made our whole family and home come alive. I remember when my mom walked into the living room all fixed up and my little cousin's eyes just lit up. He said be careful don't touch her lol. He literally went from seeing her as a plain ol’ aunt to a princess. He was so young, but he couldn't fake it; that was his instincts.

~~
· It’s not about looking young, it’s about looking good.
· If you miss an opportunity to be levelling up, you are only cheating yourself.
· Stay ready.
· Every day do something to improve yourself - hair, exercise, mindset, self-esteem
· Enjoy getting ready – be creative
· If you’re wearing makeup, go bold. Men want to see the makeup.
· Men like it when you look your best. When you’re out in public, people are judging a man’s status by the type of wife he has, how she looks. You add status to any man that you are with.
· If you are attractive, you will have a lot of friends inviting you out. They will use you to attract attention because you look good. They are going to gravitate towards you and associate you with success. Your appearance will get you further than almost anything else.

~~

When you’re trying to lure a man in, dress for that man. Men do pay attention to what you look like.

Broke men pay attention to your silhouette. They look at your body because they just want to have sex with you.

Men with money pay attention to what you wear: your clothes, your shoes, your jewellery, your shoes, your hair, everything. Are you appropriate? If he wants to take it to the next level and take you out and get to know you, start a relationship, introduce you to his friends, he isn’t just looking at your body.

~~

The better you look, the more successful he looks.

~~

Men are visual creatures. Everything men do is based on that they see. How they treat you is based on what they see.

If you go without makeup, hair not done, and dressed badly, you won’t get the same treatment even by the people who see you every day. When you look good, the people around you have a little bit more respect for you. They see you looking pulled together and to see you any other way is foreign to them.

When you are levelled up, keep this in mind, don’t backslide. When a man meets you looking good, he wants to see you like that for your entire marriage. He doesn’t want you to let yourself go.

Try hard to keep yourself up during your marriage; how you looked when you met him is how he wants to see you forever more.

Men are very visual creatures, so when they see us looking bad, it upsets them. It literally makes them clench inside a little bit because they are so affected by the visual.

You are like a Christmas tree or a beautiful ornament. It’s a pleasure to look at you and they’ll want to be around you just for that.

People may treat you badly because you didn’t keep up your looks - a man could be speaking to another woman or ignoring you.

~~

“Just act and dress like a feminine lady. You’re making them feel younger by being in their presence. Watch 1950s Hollywood movie stars to watch how those ladies acted.”


Never help a man level up as they will always put you in a maternal role and look at you as a mother figure.


How to change your mindset:
1. Tell yourself that you are no longer allowing people to make you feel bad about something – that’s your choice.
2. Decide that you want to be better, and each day take action towards being better. Your self-esteem will rise from this.
3. Surround yourself with like-minded people so you can influence and help each other.

~~

People who talk less are generally more well respected.

~~

“Look for the positive in every negative comment or situation, and you will find it every time.

Whatever your weakness is, make it your strength, to fuel you to the next level. That’s how you really level up from inside. Face your weakness head on. If someone calls you fat, flaunt it. Say, ‘So what? Yes, I eat, I haven’t seen a rib in many decades, but I’m happy. I got a lovely husband, nice house, nice car.’

Instead of being a victim about it, empower yourself with it. Your flaw can be your power. It can be your power if you take it and embrace it and stop focusing on it as an insecurity. The more you focus on something as an insecurity, the more other people will focus on it because they know it’s your weakness and that’s how you get affected. Whatever your flaw is, turn it into something that can give you more than it can take from you. If people say it’s a flaw, take it and turn it into a power.”

~~

Don’t listen to what people say; what do you think? Opposition creates interest.

~~

· Be extra feminine in the way you dress, speak, act.
· Be charming - smile, don't argue (and then do exactly what you were going to do anyway).
· Ask for help from your man - opening a jar, lifting something, reaching up high, anything - they love it. Do this three times a day. Say things like 'It's too heavy for me'. Doing this makes them feel protective of you.
· When you are offered help, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine baby-voice.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every day to men everywhere so that it becomes second nature. Things such as asking a man for assistance at the supermarket and smiling and saying thank you in a feminine voice.
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you.
· Look your best, put on makeup every day, smell good, be well groomed, have nice nails.
· Speak to him as if he's a person and not a child - don't try to control him. Mothers control their children and men don't want to have sex with their mother.
· Ask for what you want, but do it in a feminine way.
· Act like the prize to be the prize.
· Be unpredictable - men will get bored of you if you are too predictable. If you are unpredictable it is exciting to them plus scares them a little too. They will wonder why you are different.
· Don't talk so much.
· Mirror how he acts to bring him closer. Say your man is a bit distant; my natural inclination is to wonder what is wrong, try and talk to him etc. That is clingy, a better way to behave is mirror that - be busy doing your own things, happy but busy and let him come looking for you when he comes out of his cave.
· Be feminine in everything you do - surround yourself with reminders of your femininity - i.e. a pink phone cover.
· Be the receiver not the giver.
· Let him think up ideas, with your subtle input.
· Hardly ever text or call him at work, unless you need him to pick up something.
· Dress up every day for no reason.
· Smile.
· Always be levelling up.
· Have a plan B.
· Don't tell him your plans for the day or where you have been - be a little mysterious and let him wonder what you've been up to.
· Keep the mystery alive with privacy - closet, bathroom etc.
· Don't do everything together.
· Have hobbies and interests of your own.
· Make him feel like a man by asking his advice, seeking help from him, not trying to tell him what to do etc.
· Keep up with new trends and the latest styles. Try new looks, buy new clothes, look cute.
· Make him feel younger by being fresh, new and exciting.
· Be excited by life and easily impressed.
· Go on vacation, go out to places.
· Do new things and turn him on to new things. Do new things in bed.
· Change your looks - look different, be different.
· Listen to the latest music.
· Keep up with the latest trends in things.
· Be an exciting adventure.
· Be happy go lucky, not a care in the world, everything is fun.
· Head up, chin up, look around, smile.
· Get all excited when you talk about little things.
· Light up when you talk to people.
· Bring a high energy.
· Wear your hair long and straight or smooth-wavy.
· Be seasonal - with your look/outfit, eating, décor.
· Reinvent yourself regularly.
· Play different characters for fun.
· Channel someone else when you go out.
· Be constantly changing and improving.
· Be a lively woman - bubbly, happy, exciting, smiling, lifts their spirits, fun to be around.
· Grab his hand and pull him along like a child.
· Be energetic and breathe life into others.
· Mirror his body language about 10-30 seconds later.
· Try new things, new looks.
· Practice your charm on waiters etc.
· Be a people watcher in different environments depending on the lifestyle you desire.
· Look from the outside in - how do people view you? How attractive are you?
· Transform yourself.
· Be his ultimate fantasy girl.
· Look good, do your makeup every day.
· Speak to your him as if he is a person and not a child.
· ‘Can you help me/lift that/get me a blanket?’ in a baby voice. Get him used to looking after you. ‘This is too heavy for me, I can’t reach it’. Do this three times a day minimum.
· Ask for what you want in a feminine way.
· Use the baby voice.
· Be extra feminine.
· Be charming – smile, don’t argue – agree (but do exactly what you want anyway).
· Ask for help from men.
· When you are offered anything, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine nature.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every do so that it becomes second nature to you – it will become easier with practice.
· Ask questions and smile.
· Play a bit dumb (not stupid; request their knowledge).
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you – practice on any man to get better.
· Never get too comfortable (don’t let yourself go).
· Keep the illusion going – makeup, hair, lotion, fragrance.
· Look like you did when you first met (me: 66-67kg, long blonde hair, stylish clothes).
· Men are visual creatures and your hair is foremost – long, silky and straight.
· Have your makeup on, look cute.
· Shera’s husband treated her differently when she gained weight and then lost weight.
· Shera’s advice to a lady who gained 40 pounds and now her husband isn’t attracted to her: ‘Lose 40 pounds’.
· Still look sexy even if you’ve been together a while.
· Exfoliate your face and body.
· Have glowing, moisturised skin.
· Use highlighter on your face.
· Wear perfume, body lotion, nicely scented products.
· Wear red lipstick, eye makeup.
· Wear light, modern perfumes.
· Have simple, nice nails.
· Tell him that whatever you want is your ‘ultimate fantasy’.

~~

If you want to be married to a rich man, dress like a rich man’s wife.

~~

Be unbothered

It’s so amazing to just not care. You have no idea how much better your life gets when you stop caring. When you stop caring about stuff that’s not beneficial to you, everything blossoms, everything. Because your attention is no longer on anything negative, it’s all on you, and so you blossom.

How to keep your man chasing you? Be busy, don’t call him all the time. Have a hobby or a business and let him have to go looking for you.

~~

Did you ever feel insecure about your weight?

“No.

At any weight my mental game was tight, it was good. I could get anything I wanted, so it never really held me back. The only thing that would ever make me feel insecure about anything is… I really don’t have a lot of insecurities anymore. I had the normal insecurities of a child. But when I grew up and I understood that you could take your power from any situation, you no longer have insecurities.

If I was insecure about my weight, I wouldn’t be up here on YouTube, and if someone says something about how I look, I don’t care. I say Okay yeah and so what? I’m eating good, I’m living good. It doesn’t bother me, because that’s not what defines me. I’m gonna get paid skinny or fat. I’m gonna be happy at whatever makes me feel happiest. So it’s all about how you feel about yourself and how you value yourself. You don’t base your self-worth on what other people think about you.

And the reason why I teach people you gotta look good if you want to turn heads and make men cross the room is because if you are trying to get a date, yes, you have to be concerned with what other people find attractive. But that should not ever play a role in your own personal self-esteem.

Whatever you need to feel good at the time, tomorrow or today, that’s what you need to be doing.”

~~


submitted by Radiant_Security_173 to SheraSeven [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:14 Jadedheights1 Combining Strattera and Sabroxy (2 month review)

So as the title suggests I’ve been taking Sabroxy and Strattera together for about two months. I don’t see a whole lot of people suggesting this combo so I wanted to hop on here to give my two cents.
The reality is Strattera is a norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor that does very little for dopamine levels.. if I’m not mistaken Strattera raises dopamine slightly but not nearly as much as stimulants.
About six months in with Strattera I was still running into issues with task initiation and a specific thought process emerged. When I was on stimulants (which raise norepinephrine and dopamine) I didn’t struggle with task initiation at all really. So in my black and white brain I was like “if I can find a way to raise dopamine-maybe that’ll help.” Stimulants like Adderall were out of the question for me. So I landed on Sabroxy a dopamine reuptake inhibitor that is for sale on Amazon and Nootropics depot.
Let me preface this by saying I’m not normally a hypeman for nootropics. In my humble opinion, nootropics always seem to overpromise and under deliver.
With that said, this combination seems to work really well for me. The one study I saw on Sabroxys effects indicated that folks were taking 1000 MGs a day. Study linked below:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8438240/
Other than this study there’s not a whole lot of studies on Sabroxy but if you’re one of those people who are struggling with task initiation specifically it may help ya. I take 1500 MGs a day and it works fantastically for me and seems to combine really well with Strattera. Sabroxy isn’t Adderall- if I were to quantify it I’d put it at about 30-50% of what Adderall is able to do.. but this is actually very impressive especially coming from a nootropic which normally don’t do anything for me. Looking on Amazon, it looks like most reviews of Sabroxy are very hit or miss. It either works or it doesn’t from what I’ve read. This should be noted before purchasing it. But for the people it does work for, it seems to work really well. It seems I’m one of those people.
Best of luck to everyone! Feel free to comment if you have any questions.
submitted by Jadedheights1 to StratteraRx [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:07 exorain14 I was kissed by my manager, and then fired for harassment

So far this year has been insane with everything that’s happened in my professional, and personal life. I am 21 years old (F) and had been working at one of the big luxury retail brands for 2 years. At the particular location that I worked at, there were a total of 4 managers, one was the store manager, and three team managers, with one of them being someone I was pretty close with. This team manager, we’ll call her 🦁, is 39 years old (F) who is married with two children. When I first met her, I found her very attractive. Of course it was just a casual crush so I ignored it and continued with my work. After about 6 months of working there, 🦁 and I started to talk a lot more and become pretty close. Often she will talk to me about her personal life, telling me how she doesn’t love her husband and that they don’t “sleep” together to which she jokes about being like a nun. During this whole time, I took it as her being my friend and just telling me about her marriage problems. But then it started to become different. In October 2023, the talks between me and her started to become of more flirtatious nature, so much to the point that other colleagues started to notice it when me and her were speaking. The favouritism from her also became very obvious, and since she was one of the managers that had been with the company for over 10 years, she was pretty respected by our store manager as well, which helped me to become a favourite among everyone. At this point, my crush for 🦁 started to become more serious because of her treatment towards me, but I continued to try and ignore it. But then in the beginning of December, I fell for her. And I honestly don’t know exactly what happened at that moment but I just looked over at her one day, and thought to myself “wow she is beautiful” and after that moment I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The whole month of December, I couldn’t focus on anything other than her. She was all I thought about at all times. January comes around and I meet up with her for brunch on our day off, where I also met her kids. Throughout January, my feelings for her kept getting stronger and stronger, and it became harder for me to ignore them because of her continuous flirting. Especially at some points she would give hints that made it seem like my feelings weren’t one sided. At this point I told a few of my colleagues that I am very close with about the whole situation, to which they were shocked, but also confirmed that they noticed it themselves. February comes around and I decide that I won’t be able to move on from 🦁 because of her mixed signals, so I should just tell her how I feel and that way I’ll know. So I tell her that I need to speak to her about something. She says that we can meet up for coffee before work on Wednesday. Wednesday happened to be Valentine’s Day…
We met up and I told her that there was someone at work that I have gotten feelings for, but I didn’t tell her who it was yet. She asked me what I wanted to do, and I told her that I wanna tell this person because that way I’ll have a definitive answer on how they feel and can move on if needed, but I was scared to tell them cause I don’t want things to get awkward between us since we are pretty close. She continues to tell me that if I think the person is mature enough, they won’t let thinking’s get awkward. 🦁 then starts to take guesses on who this person is. After saying a few different names she asks me “is it me”?, to which I nodded. She smiled, and went on to say “awe you’re so sweet, I do like you, and nothing has to change in our relationship, we can continue to hang out and be friends. She was very nice the whole time and didn’t act weird at all. After we were leaving the coffee place, I asked her if I can give her a flower for Valentine’s Day, to which she agreed, so I said I’ll get her one later. We both went to work and everything was very normal between us. Once the shift was finished, we walked to our cars together and I gave her the flower which she accepted and I also asked her to be very clear with me if I had any chance with her. To which she replied no and went on to say she sees me as a little sister and she gives me a hug. I was fine with that and knew that I can start to move on now.
A few days go by and I don’t see her since she went on a small trip. When she returned, I had gone to the store on my day off to give a gift to one of my colleagues who was going on maternity leave. When I went to the store, 🦁 was there as well, but she seemed to be avoiding me. So I didn’t speak to her but after I left I texted her asking to call me whenever she gets a chance. She calls after 3 minutes and asked what’s up, and I tell her that “I might be overthinking, but are you avoiding me?” To which she says that I am overthinking and she is not avoiding me, and assures me that everything is ok. I tell her that I need to speak to her, so she says that she’ll call me after she finishes work. Around 9:30pm she calls and asks if I want to speak over the phone or meet up. I tell her I’d rather meet up and she says let’s do Saturday before we work.
On Saturday, she texts me two hours before we’re supposed to meet with an excuse and says that we can speak in the store. But that day we didn’t get to talk in the store because it was pretty busy and there were people around. So during closing when me and 🦁 were alone in the back, I brought up that we didn’t get to talk, but she brushed me off saying that she is tired and that I should go home and sleep. At this point I got a bit annoyed and just left, but I texted her asking her to call me cause at this rate we wouldn’t be able to talk in person so might as well over the phone. But she never responded.
The next day, on Sunday, we’re both working again. This whole day she seems to be acting very strange. She still talked to me normally about work stuff but was acting different otherwise which started to bother me. This was noticed by a lot of my colleagues who even brought it up and asked what was going on between me and her. When my shift was almost finished I asked to speak to her. She agreed and we went into the fitting room in our store for privacy. I told her that I was starting to get annoyed because of the way she was acting since she keeps telling me that everything is ok between us but then is acting slightly weird and I just want her to be clear with me if she isn’t comfortable then I’ll leave her alone. She reassures me again that she is perfectly fine and that I am overthinking. She then gives excuses for her behaviour saying that she wasn’t feeling well yesterday and that she saw my text at midnight and didn’t want to call me that late and so on. I tell her that there were two things I wanted to tell to her. First was that I wanted to thank her for being very kind and understanding about my feelings. And the second was that I wanted to make it clear to her that don’t expect anything from her, if my feelings are one sided, I will move on. After which we agree that everything is ok now and I ask her for a hug. She gives me a hug but then she doesn’t pull away fully. While still holding me she says “you don’t have to worry, I do like you” and then she leans in and kisses me. At this point I am shocked and confused. But after that, she very clearly gets scared and goes on to plead that I don’t tell anyone. I was fine with the kiss and was crazy in love so I promised her that I will act like it never happened and it doesn’t have to happen again. We calm down and leave the fitting room and I am finished work at this point so as I’m about to leave I ask her, “if I text you, will you reply”, And she agrees. I didn’t end up texting her.
A few days go by and I am off from work. When I go back, I am doing opening shift and 🦁 is supposed to start an hour after me, but she doesn’t come in. Instead our store manager comes and tells me that we will have a meeting in her office. I go into the office and she has zoom open with a lady from HR who goes on to tell me that someone has filed a harassment complaint against me. They go on to ask me closed ended questions based on what 🦁 had told them. The questions were more to do with the fact that whether I confessed feelings for 🦁 or if I gave her a flower or texted her. I was so confused cause I didn’t understand how any of that was harassment. Texting was always two way, I never spammed her, she always texted me too. The flower was given with her permission and she accepted it. And developing feelings for someone is not harassment. Even our company handbook allows relationships between employees. They didn’t mention anything about the kiss which makes it obvious that 🦁 left that out. And I am stupid and was in love, I didn’t bring the kiss up either cause I wanted to protect her. Whole time during my questioning, which was only about 10 minutes, I was so uncomfortable especially cause my store manager was in the room as well and also the room is tiny. They go on to say that I am being put on leave while they “investigate”. And during that time I am not allowed to come to the store and talk to anyone that works there. They take my work phone and I leave. After I get home, I start thinking about how I didn’t even get to explain my side of things properly. All questions were so closed ended and on top of that, it happened so suddenly that I couldn’t even process it. I decide to text my store manager and ask to speak to her. She says that I can call, but then I realized that I don’t trust my store manager at all. Anything I tell her, there is no guarantee that it will be forwarded to HR. As an FYI, our store manager is probably the most hostile, and unprofessional manager I have ever worked with. No one that works at that location trusts her, as an example, she has made multiple grown employees cry in front of their clients because of her tone and way of “coaching”. Anyway, so I decide that instead I will send an email to the HR lady that I spoke to and explain my side of things more clearly. I was right in the middle of writing up the email when I get a call. It was my store manager and the HR lady on the phone, and they tell me that I am being terminated effective immediately. Apparently they “investigated” in 5 hours and made the decision that I am unsafe to work with. I tell them that I was in the middle of writing an email to explain my side of things because I didn’t get to. They respond with “the decision is final”
It has been over two months and to this day I have no idea what they are even accusing me of. Where was the harassment, I don’t even get it. Everything that happened between me and 🦁 was always consensual and two way. If HR bothered to investigate properly, they would have known this cause I told them that there are specific colleagues that know about everything that was happening. I’m sure HR hasn’t even seen the texts that were sent between me and 🦁 cause those will also prove that there was no harassment. But of course HR wanted to protect the “straight”, married, much more older, woman that has been with the company for over 10 years. Rather than me.
submitted by exorain14 to self [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:04 exorain14 I was kissed by my manager then fired for harassment

So far this year has been insane with everything that’s happened in my professional, and personal life. I am 21 years old (F) and had been working at one of the big luxury retail brands for 2 years. At the particular location that I worked at, there were a total of 4 managers, one was the store manager, and three team managers, with one of them being someone I was pretty close with. This team manager, we’ll call her 🦁, is 39 years old (F) who is married with two children. When I first met her, I found her very attractive. Of course it was just a casual crush so I ignored it and continued with my work. After about 6 months of working there, 🦁 and I started to talk a lot more and become pretty close. Often she will talk to me about her personal life, telling me how she doesn’t love her husband and that they don’t “sleep” together to which she jokes about being like a nun. During this whole time, I took it as her being my friend and just telling me about her marriage problems. But then it started to become different. In October 2023, the talks between me and her started to become of more flirtatious nature, so much to the point that other colleagues started to notice it when me and her were speaking. The favouritism from her also became very obvious, and since she was one of the managers that had been with the company for over 10 years, she was pretty respected by our store manager as well, which helped me to become a favourite among everyone. At this point, my crush for 🦁 started to become more serious because of her treatment towards me, but I continued to try and ignore it. But then in the beginning of December, I fell for her. And I honestly don’t know exactly what happened at that moment but I just looked over at her one day, and thought to myself “wow she is beautiful” and after that moment I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The whole month of December, I couldn’t focus on anything other than her. She was all I thought about at all times. January comes around and I meet up with her for brunch on our day off, where I also met her kids. Throughout January, my feelings for her kept getting stronger and stronger, and it became harder for me to ignore them because of her continuous flirting. Especially at some points she would give hints that made it seem like my feelings weren’t one sided. At this point I told a few of my colleagues that I am very close with about the whole situation, to which they were shocked, but also confirmed that they noticed it themselves. February comes around and I decide that I won’t be able to move on from 🦁 because of her mixed signals, so I should just tell her how I feel and that way I’ll know. So I tell her that I need to speak to her about something. She says that we can meet up for coffee before work on Wednesday. Wednesday happened to be Valentine’s Day…
We met up and I told her that there was someone at work that I have gotten feelings for, but I didn’t tell her who it was yet. She asked me what I wanted to do, and I told her that I wanna tell this person because that way I’ll have a definitive answer on how they feel and can move on if needed, but I was scared to tell them cause I don’t want things to get awkward between us since we are pretty close. She continues to tell me that if I think the person is mature enough, they won’t let thinking’s get awkward. 🦁 then starts to take guesses on who this person is. After saying a few different names she asks me “is it me”?, to which I nodded. She smiled, and went on to say “awe you’re so sweet, I do like you, and nothing has to change in our relationship, we can continue to hang out and be friends. She was very nice the whole time and didn’t act weird at all. After we were leaving the coffee place, I asked her if I can give her a flower for Valentine’s Day, to which she agreed, so I said I’ll get her one later. We both went to work and everything was very normal between us. Once the shift was finished, we walked to our cars together and I gave her the flower which she accepted and I also asked her to be very clear with me if I had any chance with her. To which she replied no and went on to say she sees me as a little sister and she gives me a hug. I was fine with that and knew that I can start to move on now.
A few days go by and I don’t see her since she went on a small trip. When she returned, I had gone to the store on my day off to give a gift to one of my colleagues who was going on maternity leave. When I went to the store, 🦁 was there as well, but she seemed to be avoiding me. So I didn’t speak to her but after I left I texted her asking to call me whenever she gets a chance. She calls after 3 minutes and asked what’s up, and I tell her that “I might be overthinking, but are you avoiding me?” To which she says that I am overthinking and she is not avoiding me, and assures me that everything is ok. I tell her that I need to speak to her, so she says that she’ll call me after she finishes work. Around 9:30pm she calls and asks if I want to speak over the phone or meet up. I tell her I’d rather meet up and she says let’s do Saturday before we work.
On Saturday, she texts me two hours before we’re supposed to meet with an excuse and says that we can speak in the store. But that day we didn’t get to talk in the store because it was pretty busy and there were people around. So during closing when me and 🦁 were alone in the back, I brought up that we didn’t get to talk, but she brushed me off saying that she is tired and that I should go home and sleep. At this point I got a bit annoyed and just left, but I texted her asking her to call me cause at this rate we wouldn’t be able to talk in person so might as well over the phone. But she never responded.
The next day, on Sunday, we’re both working again. This whole day she seems to be acting very strange. She still talked to me normally about work stuff but was acting different otherwise which started to bother me. This was noticed by a lot of my colleagues who even brought it up and asked what was going on between me and her. When my shift was almost finished I asked to speak to her. She agreed and we went into the fitting room in our store for privacy. I told her that I was starting to get annoyed because of the way she was acting since she keeps telling me that everything is ok between us but then is acting slightly weird and I just want her to be clear with me if she isn’t comfortable then I’ll leave her alone. She reassures me again that she is perfectly fine and that I am overthinking. She then gives excuses for her behaviour saying that she wasn’t feeling well yesterday and that she saw my text at midnight and didn’t want to call me that late and so on. I tell her that there were two things I wanted to tell to her. First was that I wanted to thank her for being very kind and understanding about my feelings. And the second was that I wanted to make it clear to her that don’t expect anything from her, if my feelings are one sided, I will move on. After which we agree that everything is ok now and I ask her for a hug. She gives me a hug but then she doesn’t pull away fully. While still holding me she says “you don’t have to worry, I do like you” and then she leans in and kisses me. At this point I am shocked and confused. But after that, she very clearly gets scared and goes on to plead that I don’t tell anyone. I was fine with the kiss and was crazy in love so I promised her that I will act like it never happened and it doesn’t have to happen again. We calm down and leave the fitting room and I am finished work at this point so as I’m about to leave I ask her, “if I text you, will you reply”, And she agrees. I didn’t end up texting her.
A few days go by and I am off from work. When I go back, I am doing opening shift and 🦁 is supposed to start an hour after me, but she doesn’t come in. Instead our store manager comes and tells me that we will have a meeting in her office. I go into the office and she has zoom open with a lady from HR who goes on to tell me that someone has filed a harassment complaint against me. They go on to ask me closed ended questions based on what 🦁 had told them. The questions were more to do with the fact that whether I confessed feelings for 🦁 or if I gave her a flower or texted her. I was so confused cause I didn’t understand how any of that was harassment. Texting was always two way, I never spammed her, she always texted me too. The flower was given with her permission and she accepted it. And developing feelings for someone is not harassment. Even our company handbook allows relationships between employees. They didn’t mention anything about the kiss which makes it obvious that 🦁 left that out. And I am stupid and was in love, I didn’t bring the kiss up either cause I wanted to protect her. Whole time during my questioning, which was only about 10 minutes, I was so uncomfortable especially cause my store manager was in the room as well and also the room is tiny. They go on to say that I am being put on leave while they “investigate”. And during that time I am not allowed to come to the store and talk to anyone that works there. They take my work phone and I leave. After I get home, I start thinking about how I didn’t even get to explain my side of things properly. All questions were so closed ended and on top of that, it happened so suddenly that I couldn’t even process it. I decide to text my store manager and ask to speak to her. She says that I can call, but then I realized that I don’t trust my store manager at all. Anything I tell her, there is no guarantee that it will be forwarded to HR. As an FYI, our store manager is probably the most hostile, and unprofessional manager I have ever worked with. No one that works at that location trusts her, as an example, she has made multiple grown employees cry in front of their clients because of her tone and way of “coaching”. Anyway, so I decide that instead I will send an email to the HR lady that I spoke to and explain my side of things more clearly. I was right in the middle of writing up the email when I get a call. It was my store manager and the HR lady on the phone, and they tell me that I am being terminated effective immediately. Apparently they “investigated” in 5 hours and made the decision that I am unsafe to work with. I tell them that I was in the middle of writing an email to explain my side of things because I didn’t get to. They respond with “the decision is final”
It has been over two months and to this day I have no idea what they are even accusing me of. Where was the harassment, I don’t even get it. Everything that happened between me and 🦁 was always consensual and two way. If HR bothered to investigate properly, they would have known this cause I told them that there are specific colleagues that know about everything that was happening. I’m sure HR hasn’t even seen the texts that were sent between me and 🦁 cause those will also prove that there was no harassment. But of course HR wanted to protect the “straight”, married, much more older, woman that has been with the company for over 10 years. Rather than me.
submitted by exorain14 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 20:00 530josh The Green Fields of the Mind

A PREFACE: This is an essay written by former commissioner of Major League Baseball, A. Bartlett Giamatti, and it is something I always read following the conclusion of one of my team’s (across various sports) seasons, and I’d like to introduce it to all of you, in hopes that some of you may pick up this tradition for yourselves.
I find it’s a good way for me to appreciate and reflect on the experience of following a team over an entire season and beyond, and more broadly to examine why, despite the inherent futility in wrapping up so much of our emotional well-being in something we ultimately can’t control, we do precisely that anyway.
I will post the essay in its entirety here. Even though it was originally written about baseball, I believe the underlying themes can apply to any sport. Since it is a bit lengthy, I’ve highlighted the three most important and universally-applicable paragraphs. Despite this, I encourage you all to read the whole thing. Even if not for its own sake, at least do it in order to properly give those three paragraphs their intended rhetorical and emotional weight.
Without further ado…
"The Green Fields of the Mind”
”It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone. You count on it, rely on it to buffer the passage of time, to keep the memory of sunshine and high skies alive, and then just when the days are all twilight, when you need it most, it stops. Today, October 2, a Sunday of rain and broken branches and leaf-clogged drains and slick streets, it stopped, and summer was gone.
“Somehow, the summer seemed to slip by faster this time. Maybe it wasn't this summer, but all the summers that, in this my fortieth summer, slipped by so fast. There comes a time when every summer will have something of autumn about it. Whatever the reason, it seemed to me that I was investing more and more in baseball, making the game do more of the work that keeps time fat and slow and lazy. I was counting on the game's deep patterns, three strikes, three outs, three times three innings, and its deepest impulse, to go out and back, to leave and to return home, to set the order of the day and to organize the daylight. I wrote a few things this last summer, this summer that did not last, nothing grand but some things, and yet that work was just camouflage. The real activity was done with the radio--not the all-seeing, all-falsifying television--and was the playing of the game in the only place it will last, the enclosed green field of the mind. There, in that warm, bright place, what the old poet called Mutability does not so quickly come.”
“But out here, on Sunday, October 2, where it rains all day, Dame Mutability never loses. She was in the crowd at Fenway yesterday, a gray day full of bluster and contradiction, when the Red Sox came up in the last of the ninth trailing Baltimore 8-5, while the Yankees, rain-delayed against Detroit, only needing to win one or have Boston lose one to win it all, sat in New York washing down cold cuts with beer and watching the Boston game. Boston had won two, the Yankees had lost two, and suddenly it seemed as if the whole season might go to the last day, or beyond, except here was Boston losing 8-5, while New York sat in its family room and put its feet up. Lynn, both ankles hurting now as they had in July, hits a single down the right-field line. The crowd stirs. It is on its feet. Hobson, third baseman, former Bear Bryant quarterback, strong, quiet, over 100 RBIs, goes for three breaking balls and is out. The goddess smiles and encourages her agent, a canny journeyman named Nelson Briles.
“Now comes a pinch hitter, Bernie Carbo, onetime Rookie of the Year, erratic, quick, a shade too handsome, so laid-back he is always, in his soul, stretched out in the tall grass, one arm under his head, watching the clouds and laughing; now he looks over some low stuff unworthy of him and then, uncoiling, sends one out, straight on a rising line, over the center-field wall, no cheap Fenway shot, but all of it, the physics as elegant as the arc the ball describes.
“New England is on its feet, roaring. The summer will not pass. Roaring, they recall the evening, late and cold, in 1975, the sixth game of the World Series, perhaps the greatest baseball game played in the last fifty years, when Carbo, loose and easy, had uncoiled to tie the game that Fisk would win. It is 8-7, one out, and school will never start, rain will never come, sun will warm the back of your neck forever. Now Bailey, picked up from the National League recently, big arms, heavy gut, experienced, new to the league and the club; he fouls off two and then, checking, tentative, a big man off balance, he pops a soft liner to the first baseman. It is suddenly darker and later, and the announcer doing the game coast to coast, a New Yorker who works for a New York television station, sounds relieved. His little world, well-lit, hot-combed, split-second-timed, had no capacity to absorb this much gritty, grainy, contrary reality.
“Cox swings a bat, stretches his long arms, bends his back, the rookie from Pawtucket who broke in two weeks earlier with a record six straight hits, the kid drafted ahead of Fred Lynn, rangy, smooth, cool. The count runs two and two, Briles is cagey, nothing too good, and Cox swings, the ball beginning toward the mound and then, in a jaunty, wayward dance, skipping past Briles, feinting to the right, skimming the last of the grass, finding the dirt, moving now like some small, purposeful marine creature negotiating the green deep, easily avoiding the jagged rock of second base, traveling steady and straight now out into the dark, silent recesses of center field.
“The aisles are jammed, the place is on its feet, the wrappers, the programs, the Coke cups and peanut shells, the doctrines of an afternoon; the anxieties, the things that have to be done tomorrow, the regrets about yesterday, the accumulation of a summer: all forgotten, while hope, the anchor, bites and takes hold where a moment before it seemed we would be swept out with the tide. Rice is up. Rice whom Aaron had said was the only one he'd seen with the ability to break his records. Rice the best clutch hitter on the club, with the best slugging percentage in the league. Rice, so quick and strong he once checked his swing halfway through and snapped the bat in two. Rice the Hammer of God sent to scourge the Yankees, the sound was overwhelming, fathers pounded their sons on the back, cars pulled off the road, households froze, New England exulted in its blessedness, and roared its thanks for all good things, for Rice and for a summer stretching halfway through October. Briles threw, Rice swung, and it was over. One pitch, a fly to center, and it stopped. Summer died in New England and like rain sliding off a roof, the crowd slipped out of Fenway, quickly, with only a steady murmur of concern for the drive ahead remaining of the roar. Mutability had turned the seasons and translated hope to memory once again. And, once again, she had used baseball, our best invention to stay change, to bring change on.
”That is why it breaks my heart, that game--not because in New York they could win because Boston lost; in that, there is a rough justice, and a reminder to the Yankees of how slight and fragile are the circumstances that exalt one group of human beings over another. It breaks my heart because it was meant to, because it was meant to foster in me again the illusion that there was something abiding, some pattern and some impulse that could come together to make a reality that would resist the corrosion; and because, after it had fostered again that most hungered-for illusion, the game was meant to stop, and betray precisely what it promised.
”Of course, there are those who learn after the first few times. They grow out of sports. And there are others who were born with the wisdom to know that nothing lasts. These are the truly tough among us, the ones who can live without illusion, or without even the hope of illusion. I am not that grown-up or up-to-date. I am a simpler creature, tied to more primitive patterns and cycles. I need to think something lasts forever, and it might as well be that state of being that is a game; it might as well be that, in a green field, in the sun.” — A. Bartlett Giamatti
16-1-1 in 2024, +62 GD and 89 points total. A remarkable season by all accounts, even if it ultimately didn’t receive the external validation of a trophy.
But, in any case, it is time to close the book on 2023-24. The countdown to 2024-25 begins.
COYG ❤️
submitted by 530josh to Gunners [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 19:58 throwaway5910117137 I have an Imaginary gf but Idk what she looks like

I had an Imaginary girlfriend who's always there for me, she motivates me, listens to me when I have nobody to talk to and she actually helped me overcome depression when I was at an all time low. For a long time she had been my only friend before I got actual friends. I really love her and do a lot of things with her, for instance I like to dance with her almost every day, In fact I learned partner dances on youtube just to dance with her (I actually dance irl when I Imagine myself dancing with her). I can imagine her personality her awnsers how she behaves but the weird thing is that she doesnt have a name, she has no face and no voice. It's really bizarre because I can have whole conversations with her, dance with her, cuddle her... but if you ask me to describe her face I wouldnt be able to and I cant even imagine her voice or her accent but for some reason I feel attracted to her and I feel a deep emotional attachment to her. Does anybody else experience the same thing ?
submitted by throwaway5910117137 to ImmersiveDaydreaming [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 19:58 whyarey0uy0u Situationship help??

I need advice. So there’s a guy I’ve been seeing for a while and our main and really only issue is a conflict in communication styles. I don’t want to talk all day long every day (seriously, i dont talk to ANYONE regularly like that) but I do like to feel like the person I’m seeing is at least thinking of me occasionally? Whereas he’s the type to go completely MIA and not respond for entire days. And whatever compromise i give him (ex: a phone call at the end of our days just to connect a bit before bed) he’ll agree (“yes, that works much better for me!”) then doesn’t act on it and has an excuse. (“I just don’t like phone calls.”) He IS busy and working on his future in a very stressful and difficult program at school. I admire him for that and find myself very attracted to him and motivated by him because of it, so I really do give him as much grace as possible. Now the reason this bothers me and hurts my feelings so much is because he won’t talk to me “because he’s so busy” yet he is very active on socials. I know I’m not entitled to anything from him, how he uses his time and his phone is completely up to him. I know that just because you take a break and scroll through the apps - that doesn’t necessarily mean you have the time, energy, or desire to strike up a conversation, but he does it constantly and it makes it hard not to feel like he DOES have some time, he’s just not that into me. People always say stuff like “if he wanted to he would” or “if a guy likes you he will make it perfectly clear” but when I ask for other’s opinions on this situation it always seems that everyone thinks I’m just insecure or controlling and I’m just confused at this point. Im stuck in a cycle where I want to end it for good, but then I feel like I’m throwing away something I otherwise really enjoy and miss when it’s gone over something so small, but then when I think about being intimate with him I feel hurt and used, like I’m disrespecting myself by giving someone such intimate access to me when they cant even be bothered to acknowledge my existence about 99% of the time. I just feel like I’m crazy and no matter what choice I lean towards I convince myself I’m going to regret it or something. Is this a me problem or is this actually a red flag, a sign i need to ditch this situation? Anything??
submitted by whyarey0uy0u to Advice [link] [comments]


http://swiebodzin.info