So just this past week I find out he was talking to one of his girl co workers outside of the job. They texted on snap here and there and he was liking her pictures on instagram. She followed him but he never followed her. Probably because he was hoping I wouldn’t figure it out. But I seen her liking his post on Facebook and that’s how I put all the pieces together. I asked him to hang out and I took his phone and looked thru it just to find them messaging on snap about “I wish you were here and send food” and he replied with same or something like that. And that confirmed it for me so I went off and started crying and saying how could you do this and he kept saying she was just a co worker nothing more and I told him to just take me home and he not once seemed to care. So I broke up with him and removed him off everything. then he went and told his family that we broke up and he told then what happened (his family is toxic and judgmental) and they didn’t seem to care much. He tried calling me and texting me but I never answered and then he sent a text explaining everything and finally giving me the closure I needed. And we had a deep conversation regarding everything and he went into detail about her and him. and I guess she worked in the department his aunt worked at which he also works too but different department so that’s how he knew of her and said it was only just casual but he soon realized how he would feel if I did that and he came to terms we were going thru a rough patch and he regretted it so much and would do anything to get me back. But here’s the problem. when we were talking about working things out he said I’m just afraid my family will make this a huge issue. I told them we broke up and explained what happened and why it ended but if I tell them we got back together they will just talk shit and won’t want you around. I then tell him, your family won’t want me around but you’re the one who cheated on me? And he’s like yeah they’re just like that they will make this a big deal and talk shit. That caught me off guard because I know his family is super negative and judgmental but I can’t come to terms of why they wouldn’t be mad at him instead. He said his family also reacted poorly when his mother and father divorced and they didn’t want the father around anymore. I’m so confused dude I just need some input on this because what

i don't understand why I can't just be happy. i have a partner and i have friends, those are things many people don't have. but whenever my partner travels i feel achingly lonely. i notice that with everyone in my life i'm the person who reaches out 90% of the time. it used to be more even, maybe 70% my initiation, until friends got busy with work and their partners, and my partner isn't as proactively responsive when traveling. i set up plans with my friends to distract myself but as soon as they leave i'm lonely again. i can't stop crying and it got to the point where i started slapping my legs hard enough to bruise. i feel like i have no one to talk to, i tried talking to my partner about it but they said they can't be there for me all the time. i'm not asking for all the time, i just wish someone, anyone cared enough to comfort me when i'm crying and breaking down, which generally happens once every few months when i hit a breaking point of loneliness and self-hatred, or when i feel like someone has been very inconsiderate towards me and doesn't care about trying to be considere towards me. this month it's happened twice though because of an incident that felt extremely inconsiderate towards me earlier this month. i know it's exhausting and an emotional burden comforing someone who's going through it. i know this as someone who is frequently there to comfort others even when i'm also hurt and exhausted. but it just feels so unfair to me that i'm willing to drop everything for someone in crisis, especially a close friend or partner, and no one does the same for me. ii feel like i have to keep my happy sunny disposition around my friends so i don't burden them. they're going through enough in their own lives and don't need to hear how much i'm suffering. i don't want me being lonely to make them feel like they're not good enough. but i was hoping my partner would at least understand that it's okay to express these hurt emotions between us since my partner has also expressed hurt feelings to me and i've comforted them through it without taking it personally. but the response i got was that they needed alone time and couldn't always be there for me. i guess my expectations of a partner always being there for me and putting my feelings first when i'm in crisis are unrealistic, even though that's something i always do. i'm not important enough to anyone for them to consider my feelings. and who would want to be there for me anyways, i'm a worthless fat fuck who can't make positive long-term change in their life no matter how hard they try. my motivation to do anything but scroll on my phone dwindles every day. i can't muster up the strength and motivation for hobbies anymore unless with friends. i'm a shell of a human who only matters when other people are in the room. i can't even do the things i enjoy anymore, let alone things that would be good for me like workinf out or learning other helpful life skills. i guess i always support others but am not there to support myself and that's whay makes me a shell of a human. i'm just going through life surviving but i don't feel like i'm here. i'm just typing this into the void in case anyone feels the way i do so i'll know i'm not alone. also as a disclaimer i have no intention or desire to kms because of how it would affect my loved ones. i of course intrusively wonder if they would miss me or wish they prioritized me more if i did pass, but it's only in passing and not something i would ever carry out. if you've read this far i commend and thank you. hope you have a nice day

19M I myself think that i am dumb af with certain things. Like extreme stubborness. Inability to change currect action, even tho there are more important things to do.
Little childhood background. Told by everyone i was gifted, very smart child. Learned to write and read at the age of 4-5. Basicaly nonverbal, wouldnt want to talk with anybody, extreme stuttering, scared of everything -> very curios and wanted to know everything about my surroundings and the world. Always asking questions. Didnt have any friends bcs i was wierd. Spent around 8 hours a day building legos/solving puzzlez. Forgetting to eat/sleep. Extremly determined. But if i wasnt good at something first try, i was the maddest person on the planet -> would do anything of my power to actually solve my problem. This resulted in extreme agression towards anyone who would intervine with my current problemsolving session. When i was doing my first iq test. Some of these questions vere actually hard, and maybe for the first time in my life i became challenged, trying to do everything in my power to complete the test. Result? 130ish. My parents were shocked, and said i need to attend gramar school. So as 10/11 year old i started my first year in grammar school. Fast forward to current day i am really paranoid, everyone is againts me, i can tell how fake and fabricated conversations in my school are. Noone is genuene. But then, i myself am unable to have smalltalk, i learned that people need smalltalk to connect, but i just cant do that. Im having a hard time replying to my surroundings overthinking everx aspect of my intination, word selections everything, with people i care about(parents, gf, couple my friends) i feel like a robot, having my place, doing the same things every day, i dont even know what day is it, i wxperience extreme time blindness. I always need to do something in order to not let my mind wander around my dark future thoughts. I want to sleep but think of my broken bracelet from a month ago, i am like nah lets do it tomorow, but then i cant sleep thinking about it for 40 minutes with my eyes closed, rumbling in bed forcing myself to sleep, impossible. I get up and repair my bracelet, its 2:45 in the moring and my alarm goes of in less than 4 hours. I am like, how i was just watching a video from 3 blue 1 borwn like 30 minutes ago, turns out its been 4 hours :)) i reflect, what did i actually do. My mind then fabricates these fake memories of actually studying for physics test, texting my friend and watching a hockey match with my parent and went to sleep. Wrong i havent done any of that now in the morning i am stressing having intense halucinations my mind wanders of to extreme depths, seeing images of myself kicked out of the house, homeless, begging for food, then i see my present self bringing my homeless self a hotdog. WHICH IS SOMETHING I DID LIKE 2 YEARS AGO AND WANTED TO HELP A HOMELESS MAN OUT. Seeing this ultimate cycle of life gives me chills. I believe we are all conected somehow. But thats not the point. I dont even know where i was going with this anymore. My mind is racing at milion mph and sometimes i cant fabricate single thought or keep simple instructions in my mind like please bring a shampoo to the bottom bathroom my mum says. I get distracted by taking a dump, then forgetting completely, cuz in my mind i see myself handing my mum the shampoo and her thaking for my service. THIS IS EVEN WORSE IN MORNING, i see myself getting up, eating breakfast, texting my gf good morning text, UNTIL I REALISED IT WAS ALL JUST A WIERD DREAM AND I OVERSELPT 40 MINUTES. Dont even get me started on my dreams, these are to most complex storylines with multiple parts since dreamworld passes slowly compared to realworld time so sometime i csnt wait for second part of my dream which mostly happens next evening i go to sleep, i am now keeping track of multiple dream plotlines where in one me and my friends have our own comunity survival typa thing. My fav dreamseries :D. Honestly i cant unsee how depressing and dystopian current world-state is. Honestly i see myself dead in nomore than 10 years during ww3 where trump gets elected, refuses to help eu with russia invading The baltic states. I was believing i was going dummer and dummer. I resit my iq test, spend like 3 hours answering questions, 144. I started researching if inteligent people go crazy, found a lot of evidence, thats why i am asking, could this be my case?? I havent told these things my psychologist, dont wanna endup in psychward lol, currently we are discusing my adhd, along ocd i was diagnosed with as a child. I honestly want things to end, but i cant imagine getting my family friends and gf this sad. Im so lost and dont know what to do

Guys I'm just super confused. I'd never thought of past lives as a concept. I'd never bothered thinking of death actually. So, I'm saying you here my experience exactly in the way I felt. You may call me crazy, I don't mind. It's better to say it here than someone I actually know. But if someone has any ehn explanation.. please provide me some
I'm from Greece. I'm just another boring person. But for many reasons I've visited Italy way too many times. My parents always liked Italy. We've been to Italy endless times. Maybe more than 15. Then I found a job (I'm a physician) that had a collab with some Italians and we would go to Italy again. My bf (ex bf) wanted to go to Italy because he'd never visited. I said okay let's go (despite that I'd been endless times). I know Florence like the back of my hand. I always made fun of how many times "fate" had brought me to Italy (and especially Florence).
I never took Italian lessons but I could understand some Italian without actually trying. And one day as we were walking around I remember seeing a particular monument and as I was looking it it felt as my head was shaking. I collapsed (a friend of mine told me). I had a weird dream. I was seeing clearly images from many centuries ago (renaissance?). I was yelling very angry at someone and it had to do with that monument. I felt betrayed and hurt.
A doctor was around and came to help me (I've been told that). When I recovered he asked me if I was okay and they said I was totally lost. All my answers where wrong (what day is it etc) but he asked in italian and I would reply in italian. He asked me my name and I replied him with a name that wasn't mine but was Italian. I don't recall any of these questions/answers but my friend told me.
Since then I'm researching. I found the name, I found a connection with the monument (that I didn't know those involved in that).
So I was just like to ask, does this make sense? Was I saying stupid things because I was dizzy by the sun or something? Any insight would be more than welcome. Could this be a past life memory? Can I get more of it?

Disclaimer: There may be triggering language in this post!
Hey all! I am a recent graduate of college (woohoo) and when I have time off/vacation from my new adult job, my dream is to travel, specifically out of the United States. My top three places to go right now are the UK, Japan, and possibly somewhere like the Netherlands or Sweden.
The thought of traveling outside the country let alone my state is scary because I don’t know what is in another country’s food. I have heard a lot of horror stories about “Bali Belly” in Bali (which ik isn’t on the list, but I want it to be someday), and other ways people get FP or travelers d* from contaminated food or water in other countries. Of course this does not make the country dirty, but that my body wouldn’t be used to what is in the food/water somewhere else.
With that said: 1. How do you get over the fear of traveling long distances in case “something happens?” 2. How do you prevent yourself (if you can) from getting FP in another country?
I understand getting noro or another virus from just being around people, and I understand that hand washing and things are important for that, but the food?
Thanks in advance!

I am a 58-year-old male - culturally Greek, raised in Australia, migrated to the U.S. and have lived in NYC for over 20 years now. My parents raised my two older sisters – 9.5 years older with 3 children and 4 years older with two daughters, and myself, the only son and youngest of three, Down Under. I left my family in Australia upon moving to NYC in 2004 with my partner. It was tough leaving them behind because as dysfunctional as we were, we all loved each other.
Unfortunately, in the 8 year lead up to the pandemic – first, I lost my father to colon cancer; 2 years later my beautiful mother to vascular dementia; 2 years after that my 14 year marriage dissolved after my partner admitted he had been having an affair with a work colleague for several months; 1.5 years after that my middle sister and dear friend died from a brain aneurysm; followed by my eldest sister who died of lung cancer the following year.
I fell so ill from stress that I developed severe IBS and had to have emergency surgery. I thought I was going to die. If that wasn’t enough, I hadn’t even healed when I caught COVID; lost my job a few weeks later; and, then I managed to survived a home invasion during which I was assaulted and threatened with a knife but, somehow, I managed to get the two criminals out of my space in 7.5 minutes, without a single item stolen. I’ve been through a lot but I’ve always battled through.
My middle sister had two daughters, M1 aged 40, and M2 aged 38. Until my sister passed away in early 2018, I had a great relationship with M1. I was always there to support as she tended toward “unlucky in love” and was also diagnosed with lupus over a decade ago. Her mother and I were always solid support for her, and she would speak to me about any personal problem.
Her younger sister M2 is a very different character and was I was unable to build as strong a relationship – it was not purposeful nor deliberate. I made attempts and managed to get closer to her after she was married but she always tended to be more distant. As hard as I tried, M1 & I sensed that she somewhat resented my relationship with her older sister.
After my sister passed away suddenly aged only 56, we were all devastated. I flew in from NYC and was in Australia for 9 days for the funeral. I spent 7 of the 9 days with my brother-in-law (BIL) - a good man – and my two nieces M1 & M2. It was an emotionally draining stay, with a relentless stream of visitors to pay their respects.
I spent the other 2 days house-sitting for a dear friend which I gladly accepted to secure some peace and solitude. I slept at least 16-18 hours on each day. Upon returning to my BIL’s home for my final two days, M1 approached me and asked to speak to me outside in their back yard. She proceeded to tell me how very disappointed she was in me; that she felt I was an “absent mourner" and not supporting her in her grief in the way she expected; I was also not grieving "appropriately," and that her mother /my sister would be disappointed.
I had travelled 24 hours, in a blur, halfway across the globe to bury my sister and was now receiving bereavement advice from my niece. I told her to quit with the nonsense and that she should mourn her mother any way she likes, but she is not to tell me how I should conduct myself when I’m grieving.
Her voice quickly escalated, and she proceeded to then scream at the top of her voice about how disgusting I was that I wasn’t “there” to respect her mother; and be there for her. I reminded M1 that her mother, was also my sister and I knew her for a whole lot longer than she did. I also reminded her that staying for 7 of 9 days with her, does not constitute “being absent” in anybody’s language.
It was midnight, she continued to scream, yell, abuse me with neighbors being woken up on all sides. I stood up and decided to leave and not put up with her bullshit any longer. I walked inside and caught her sister, M2, ears to the door, listening to everything … and it made me realize they were bothin on this effort to publicly “dress me down”.
M2 proceeded to "stand with her sister" and yell at me, too. I was seriously flabbergasted by their accusations. My BIL certainly did not feel the same way and he told the girls to explain to him what their problem was!?! If there was a real problem – he should be the first to be complaining about me. Their anger and resentment was shocking, inexplicable and totally unfounded. I flew home to NYC two days later devastated not just at losing my beautiful sister - but at my nieces’ disgraceful performance.
In November 2020, I flew back to Australia to visit family for the holiday season as COVID enveloped the globe. I struggled to feel fully comfortable with my nieces, and one thing is for sure: they never apologized to me for their outburst at me less than two years prior. This time it was the festive season and I decided to stay some of the time at BIL's house. Upon arriving, I was shocked - the house was spotlessly clean, as my sister liked to keep it, and everything in the house was unchanged - everything was in the exact same spot, as the day my sister died. I was concerned, M1 was clearly struggling, not dealing with her mother’s death. Even her father, my BIL had started casually dating another woman, and I threw support behind him which he appreciated. M1, on the other hand, was vehemently against this, and refused to give her father’s new relationship her blessing.
Eventually, the inevitable happened – M1 starts to relay a story that I recognized as my own, and after a few erroneous details, I reminded her of the facts that she was actually deviating from. She literally exploded for not allowing her to relay my story… incorrectly.
Yet again, her screams and anger were so loud, that I actually saw neighbors peering over their fencing. She screamed at me to leave "her house" and that I was the devil. (I need to add here that both nieces became born again Evangelical Christians.) I reminded her that the house belonged to my sister & BIL, and she had no authority over whether I stay or not.
Her screams & verbal attack, (the second one now), was so loud, aggressive, and her enraged face so red, that she looked unhinged. I went to grab a mug to make a coffee and get as far away from her as I could. As my hand reached into the cupboard for a mug, she used the cupboard door to p.a. me I saw stars.I stared at her in shock and said: "You just p.a. your mother's brother," at which she just screamed even louder
My BIL arrived shortly after and I told him that I needed to leave. I gave him the facts and then told him: "She doesn't support your new relationship - not because its "too soon" - but because she's miserable and unhappy… and she begrudges anyone their happiness - it eats away at her." She screamed at him to throw me out until he yelled "Shut up!" at her. She then called us both devils and stormed into her room.
Now, a brief focus on M2. It was summer 2017, and M2 was due in November with her second child. Her husband is American and M2 moved here from Australia and were living in the Midwest. I attempted to build a closeness with her since she was living in the US. During a call to her in July 2017, she invited me for Thanksgiving that year to be with her family, as well as see her mothemy sister and BIL who were spending several weeks there to welcome their new grandchild.
I was so excited. I even told M2 that I would stay at a nearby hotel, so as not to burden them with a newborn at home. A few weeks prior to Thanksgiving, I called to confirm my dates, etc., and without missing a beat, she proceeds to tell me that it is now all too much for her and she retracted her invitation …I was dis-invited. I sat there in silence, in shock.
I had discretely asked my sister several weeks prior, whether she would consider visiting NYC with my BIL, even for a weekend, as they were going to be with M2 for over 6 weeks and were so close!
She said to me, "Do you think we haven't thought of that? We'd love to come to come to NYC and see you. But we'll never hear the end of it from ‘you-know-who’."
So, I spent Thanksgiving on my own, with no family in NYC, less than 1.5 hours flying time away from a warm, festive house that contained M2, her family, my BIL and my dear sister.
Less than 3 months later … my sister was dead. And I never got a chance to see her one last time.
That opportunity was taken from me without so much as an "I'm sorry that I did that to you." In fact, I never received an apology from either M1 nor M2 for all the things they did to me.
When I got back to NYC from the disastrous Aussie trip, M2 refused to communicate with me any further, so I knew M1 had been in her ear about our fallout and likely never even mentioned the p.a. I contacted her and mentioned that minimally, I expected her to at least hear me out.
Her response???
"In my experience, I would describe you the same way my sister would, so I tend to believe her, and my role now is to protect my family."
I replied, "What, so your family is in danger now? From me?!"
She curtly wrote: "I wish to focus on my family, my sister, and the Lord." ...or something to that effect.
I can genuinely, authentically state that I still have no idea why they turned so viciously nasty, so vindictive, and without sounding too dramatic – so evil towards me. I have my other nieces, family, friends to back me up wholeheartedly. It was ironic to me that the two evangelicals ended up being so mean-spirited, and emotionally abusive.
I knew I had to make a big decision, so I sought the counsel of some wonderful loved ones in my inner circle, and their guidance was unanimous: walk away from the toxicity. I knew I had no other choice. I have not spoken to my two nieces for four years now.
I posted this to see if others had similar experiences, and to gather feedback as to whether I *am* the a-hole for cutting my two nieces out of my life. AITA?

Hello! I didn’t intend to make a post like this till tomorrow but forced beyond my control have decided that I should do this today!
Here’s what you need to know: my internet is being unreliable today preventing me from finishing class work or playing video games. As a result I have nothing to do so I’m now attempting to be somewhat social.
Here’s information about me: I’m a 20 year old college student from the east coast USA. When I’m not working or studying I enjoy gaming, reading, sometimes writing, hiking, animals, tabletop rpgs, and many more things. Given my selectively antisocial nature I don’t have many friends. As a result I’m trying to change that by meeting folks on Reddit. I doubt it will go well but it never hurts to try. I’m a pretty open book and will talk a bo it most things so keep that in mind.
As for what I’m looking for: just someone to pass time and chat with. If we vibe we can see what happens in the long term if you wish. And now that I’ve said all that I hope that you will message me soon and we can at the very least chat!

It’s constant. From the littlest things to the biggest things. It tells me I’m going to slip and fall down the stairs every time. It tells me my fiancée hates me and wants to break up with me over the slightest things, like if we’re walking somewhere and he naturally walks faster than me and I have to ask him to slow down, and then he starts walking faster again after a couple minutes. It tells me my friends hate me if they don’t like my social media posts or don’t respond to my texts every now and again. It’s every aspect of my life, it tells me everyone hates me and thinks the worst things about me. It’s debilitating. I need constant reassurance from my partner and my friends and it’s taking a toll on me. I’m so anxious all the time and I am on medication for anxiety but it never goes away. Any suggestions on how to make this stop? Thank you

IATA ???? Claire and I have been best friends for almost 7 years. we met in college while both being premed. I was able to get into medical school on my first try while she tried over 3 times without success and works in insurance now. She got engaged to her boyfriend as she was trying to apply to medical school for a 4th time. By then I was ending my second year of medical school and about to start my third year of medical school. Unfortunately, also during this time my then serious live in boyfriend(who was also a medical student) of 2 years died unexpectedly in an accident. I was devastated.
Claire was very supportive at first, but very quickly started to pull away from me and only wanted to talk to me about her wedding. She was always busy when I tried to make plans and was away during my Birthday, and even told me she could not be around me while I was grieving because she needed to keep her life going and plan a wedding and I was making her too sad. She spent this entire year preparing her wedding, I was one of the bridesmaids, and she multiple times showed concern that I was not as involved in the wedding preparations or responding to emails as quickly as she would have liked. One time while drunk during her bachelorette she called me a bitch for not responding to emails quickly, later denying she had any recollection of calling me that. I didn’t mean to not respond quickly It was a combinations of multiple things. Her sister was made of honor and I had a pretty busy 80 hrs per week schedule and could not answer 20 emails per week about approving the menu for the bachelorette dinner or if I preferred shorts versus pants Pijamas, or to choose what colors I wanted to wear. Looking back at it now it would have taken only a few seconds to respond but at the time I was so overwhelmed with school, studying for boards and my own personal grieving that responding to an email about choosing between lilac and violet for the bridesmaids dresses felt like a huge task. I made this clear to her and told her look I can’t be as involved in the planning but I would be happy to go along with anything you want or your sister chooses. Despite all of this I helped her picked her dress and went to multiple appointments with her and also Attended and paid my way to Her bachelorette. Even though I was a broke medical student. All the bridesmaids had a plus one for the wedding. I was planning on bringing my sister but she had a last minute work commitment she couldn’t get out off. Claire told me she preferred if I didn’t bring anyone she knew but didn’t invite to her wedding, but I explained to her that I was actually scared of going to her wedding alone, and at this point we had a lot of mutual friends so my options were limited. And she mostly invited other couples so most of our single friends/acquaintances were off limits. I was still grieving and I was afraid I would burst into tears. I made it clear that I was happy for her wedding but it was also very triggering since we both had started dating our respective partners at the same time and moved in together at the same etc, and while she was getting engaged I had to grieve the death of mine. She accused me of being jealous of her. I tried to explain to her it wasn’t jealousy but grief because attending a wedding was very triggering for me. She gave me the option of not attending her wedding if it was that hard. I told her that I felt I could attend if I could bring a plus one for support. Since she did not want me to bring someone she knew but didn’t invited to the wedding, I brought a very old childhood friend of mine that I had become closer with during the last year. He had reached out when he heard the news of my boyfriend passing away and for the last year had been checking on me regularly. We had always been good friends and he had gotten divorce during the same time so we started to talk often and support each other. He offered to fly in and be my plus one if I didn’t have anyone to come with (he lived across the country at that time) Claire made it clear that she was also not not happy with me having a plus one that she didn’t know and told me that I could bring him as long as I should be aware that I could not cater to my date since I had bridesmaid responsibilities that day. I assure her it would not be a problem.
I missed the rehearsal dinner the prior night because I had a medical school test that afternoon and then had to drive 5 hours to the wedding site I told her about this in advance. Didn’t make it until midnight. I woke up bright and early and went to the bridal suite. Had breakfast and hung out with the other bridesmaids for a bit. I then went back to my room to get ready and shower and this took maybe a couple of hours. When I arrive to the bridal suite she was getting her make up done and was clearly upset, she spent the entire rest of the evening upset and giving me the cold shoulder. I thought it was just nerves. The wedding ended and I headed back home and I texted her to thank her for everything etc. And also to apologize for not being as involved with the planning as I would have liked. She responded by accusing me of being jealous of her for getting married and purposely trying to sabotage her wedding. She accused me of making up a fake medical school exam and arriving to her wedding early but refusing to attend the rehearsal dinner, she also accused me of taking too long to get ready purposefully to avoid her and hanging out with my date way too much instead of the bridal party. She then Told me I used her wedding as an excuse to have a fling instead of focusing on her. And she then told me I had a lot of personal work to do and I have fucked up priorities in life.I tried to explain to her than none of those things happened and I have no idea where is getting all those conclusions , to no avail. She is no longer talking to me and blocked me from all social media. Worth to notice I have tried to reach out and nothing. And I heard from a mutual friend she did not get into medical school again and her now husband prohibit her from trying a fifth time since it was a huge financial strain and he wants to focus on having a family. AITA for not being a more involved bridesmaid and bringing a plus one or is she being unreasonable? I had never had this happened before with a friend. One of my other really close medical school friends is getting married next month and I am also a bridesmaid and I have had none of these issues with her.

My manager has constantly told me and 2 of my colleagues that we need to talk more be really chatty with the donors. I've only just realised all three of us MUSLIM. No one else has been told to be a certain way or to talk more. Is this discrimination or am I overthinking it too much. I find it really rude and hurtful being told that I need to talk more than I need to because as long as l'm doing the job, the donor is happy, no complaints have come in. What's the need for me to carry on entertaining them? Wasting my time in pointless conversation with a random man or woman when I don't really care about their life? As long as l've asked them things listed in the SOP, Health and safety and work related medical questions? Why am I being told to go have a chat with them about anything and everything not related to work? When I can just carry on with a different task. I'm not a chatty person to begin with but I know how to have a normal civil conversation with a stranger. But l'm being asked to do more than that which in my opinion is weird and offensive to some extent, how can I tell my manager that this is actually affecting me? All three of us get along with the staff fine cuz we actually know these people but when it comes to donors, we don't understand how we can just yap our gobs off at people e so much for making everyone feel equal and included. People have a problem with calm chilled people who don't gossip. They think something is wrong with that person. We literally just can't be fake that's all there is to it. Can't chat shit that's all like is that really a bad thing team I losing my mind cuz this has been brought up twice now at work.
If I click with the person I'll happily talk to them but every interaction isn't the same and can't be forced some donors I can stay there talking until the end of the donation until they leave the centre but that's rare while most the donors that come in it's the script I have and that's it I'm gone on to the next donor.

I fell in love with someone that is married. I know, it’s awful and I’m not proud of myself. He showed up in my life when I was going through an extremely hard time and he was there for me, constantly. Eating lunch with me, talking with me, calling me, hugging me if I had a bad day. Until he kissed me the first time. Things progressed from there. I never initiated anything but it still doesn’t make me any better because I went with it when he would initiate it. I fell in love with him. I’ve never felt this way for anyone.
His wife found out and he continued texting me for months. He finally decided to ghost me and I’m struggling so much, I don’t have a right to struggle because I know what I did was also wrong. I guess the post is for advice on how to get over being the other woman

It's on these days that I feel extremely dysfunctional and just useless. I should've withdrawn from my classes when it happened but my family urged me to resume classes the week following his death for my mental health. Useless decision and it's making it worse, my mind was elsewhere most of the time. Practically no difference between my bedroom and a lecture hall; learned nothing, plus got the additional panic attacks and public crying spells! Funnn!!
Only positive is that I got to spend time with a good friend on those days, she's been such a blessing through all of this, so I guess it wasn't completely useless, otherwise I'd be completely isolated.
It's only been 6 weeks and I thought I could go in and take my final exam but I was unable to recall anything. I broke down and just guessed on everything. I'm so overwhelmed that I am genuinely incapable of taking the rest of my exams, my answers are embarrassing. Semester down the drain I guess, and it's putting so much pressure on me and what my future holds.
I just don't have the mental capacity to do anything that's related to my future. It all feels so pointless. The thought that he's no longer going to go through life with me keeps me awake at night. The day before he took his life he told me what a beautiful thing it is that we get to go through this life thing together. And then the next without any warning he was gone. On top of losing the love of my life, I'm scared that any chance of a stable future is now taken away from me. These thoughts are probably irrational I just feel so ashamed that I can't get myself to do anything properly, everyone's moving on and im still struggling to reach the end of the day.
How will I ever return back to my regular life? I'm neglecting so much of what was used to be so important to me.

I think its common knowledge in these circles that the first draft of TPM from 1994 (originally called The Beginning) is much better. Still very flawed, but a good baseline for a better movie.
For some reason, Lucas added many things in the final draft that made the movie a lot worse. It's fascinated me for a while now about how things could have been if the original script was built upon.
I have been watching videos summing up the original draft for a while now and I discovered something. Apparently Lucas gave his final TPM draft to Lawrence Kasdan a week before shooting started and asked for him to take a look at it. However, Kasdan refused because he though he wouldn't have enough time to make revisions.
I want to imagine how TPM would look if Kasdan or some other hypothetical collaborator got to see the first draft in 1994 and fixed it up. This isn't my preferred PT rewrite. This is just what I would have done if Lucas had dropped his first draft in my lap and told me to revise it.
Here are the videos I got the information from:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPHUWM3QNk0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqsD8s2W9Ho
The movie starts with an opening crawl talking about how it is a time of weakness in the Republic. The Outer Rim controlled by megacorporation's has seceded backed by droid armies. War has not broken out yet, but the galaxy is on the brink. They are now blockading the peaceful planet of Utapau to gain its rich plasma mines as well as its newly discovered Cloning formula. The Supreme Chancellor Valorum has dispatched two Jedi to investigate and/or negotiate if they can.
We then cut to a republic starship coming to land just like in the finished film. Only the Jedi are wearing samurai esqe uniforms (like the concept art), one black and one white. The black uniformed Jedi is Obi Wan Kenobi who is about 30, trained by Yoda and is already a full Jedi Knight. Very strict and by the book. The white uniformed Jedi is his brother Ben Kenobi who just became a full jedi. This is Ben's first mission without his master Oui Gon.
Ben Kenobi is very reckless and wonders why the Republic doesn't just declare war on the Confederacy already. Obi Wan argues with him while they wait in the conference room. Meanwhile Nute Gunray and the rest of the Nemoidians look more like how they do in early concept art. Much less humanoid and they speak in an alien language with subtitles.
They call Palpatine on the hologram and he is enraged that they let the Jedi land. He chokes Nute Gunray through the hologram, cowing him. They agree to kill the Jedi and things go similarly as in the finished movie. The ship is blown up, and poison gas is pumped into the conference room. Ben and Obi Wan cut their way through the battle droids and get to the hanger. They decide to stow away on the landing craft.
On the surface of Utapau they run into Jar Jar. In this version though, Jar Jar while emotional and still comic relief speaks in a normal voice and is a bit more mature. He's more of the everyman character. Ben persuades Jar Jar to take them to the Gungan city with a mind trick, this is something Obi Wan disapproves of. Ben is more unorthodox.
They get there and are captured just like the real film. The only difference is that all the Gungans have regular voices. They are taken to Governor Nass and we learn that Jar Jar was banished because he was a trouble maker who argued for more cooperation between the Gungans and Humans. As he rants, fish continuously fall through the bubble and a young gungan gathers them up and puts them outside again.
The two Jedi still convince him to call the humans and the whole bubble is engulfed in static. It is clear that communications have been cut off. The two Jedi are then given a submarine and told to try to navigate the planet core. Nobody has been able to do it in generations and it is clear Nass thinks its a suicide mission, a convenient way to get rid of three nuisances. They then travel through the planet core being attacked by various creatures while Jar Jar is kept calm through mind tricks.
We then cut to the city of Oxon (what later became Theed) where Queen Amidala who is 40 and her daughter Princess Padme around 14 are being briefed by captain Panaka and Sio Bibble. The Queen is complacent while Padme thinks they should take the fight to the Confederacy. Suddenly the droid army attacks the city and we see building being blown up and city guards killed.
The Queen, Padme, Panaka and all the other dignitaries are captured. Nute and the rest of the Nemodians show up as well to gloat like in the final movie and give some more exposition about how they want Utapaus cloning formula. We then see the Gungan submarine surfacing and the Jedi and Jar Jar sneak into the city.
They find the prisoners being walked down an alley and save them like in the real movie. Ben uses some flashy moves to finish the droids off and is almost killed by another droid while his back is turned. Obi Wan cuts the droid down and admonishes Ben for his recklessness. The Queen and co are pleased to see two Jedi knights but they are very hostile towards Jar Jar. Which the Jedi are displeased over.
They run to the hanger like the finished film and free the Pilots, however a stray blaster shot kills the Queen with Padme screaming in horror as they board the ship. The humans also try to prevent Jar Jar getting on board but the two Jedi insist upon it.
The ship gets attacked by the blockade and Naboo guards man gun positions while astromech droids finish the repair. After they get into hyperspace there is only one droid left. R2D2 who is thanked by a still in grieving Padme. She goes off down into the droid bay to be alone and runs into Jar Jar who consoles her. This starts Padmes turn towards liking the Gungans instead of being bigoted towards them.
Meanwhile Ben and Obi Wan look through the planets accessible through their damaged hyperdrive and only find one inhabited world. Tatooine, which most of the royal guards/pilots are horrified about. Still they have no choice so they land. Padme goes with the Jedi despite protests. She wants to see another planet and get some fresh air after what just happened. Panaka lets her go reluctantly because she has two Jedi to guard her. Jar Jar also goes with them because the Utapau humans say he's "stinking the ship up".
We then cut to Utapau again where Nute Gunray and the Nemoidians are talking to captured scientists about their cloning program. They look at something in a cloning tank and look impressed. Then a hologram droid walks in projecting Darth Sidious. He castigates them for their failure in letting the princess get away and they grovel before him again. Darth Sidious says its no matter, as he will send his apprentice, Darth Maul. The Sith warrior himself looks even scarier than in the film we got with him looking like the concept art, he also has blood red robes.
We cut to a balcony on Coruscant where master and apprentice talk. Maul speaks more than in TPM and says how eager he is to get revenge on the jedi, they are no match for me yada yada.
Back on Tatooine in Mos Espa we see our heroes trying to get the part they need. It is a rowdy place and a leering slimy alien (Sebulba but we don't know that yet) tries to touch Padme arm but she elbows him and after that the crowd gives them a wide berth. Obi Wan and Ben sense something, an overpowering aura of the force. They follow it and find themselves in front of Wattos junk shop.
They meet Anakin who is 14 the same age as Padme. He is mature for his age and has a bit of a chip on his shoulder from being a slave. We also meet Watto but he resists the mind tricks because of his strong will, not because of his species. Things go similarly, though the dialogue would be much better, no "are you an angel" in this version. Jar Jar still clumsily breaks a few things but it is more toned down. Watto also hits Anakin and tells him to get back to work. Ben grabs Wattos arms as he is about to hit him again while Obi Wan helps him to his feet.
The heroes get nowhere with Watto especially after stopping Wattos abuse and a sandstorm starts to blow in so Anakin offers to take them to his place. We meet Anakin's adopted mother Shmi Lars and her son Owen Lars who is older (19) and very protective of his little brother. At the dinner scene we learn about Anakin's Podracing (how he's nicknamed Skywalker) and how many people gamble on it for huge sums of money. Ben gets an Idea while we also see just how rare Jedi actually are in most of the galaxy with Owen calling them wizards.
We then see Anakin working on his Pod while talking to Padme. They both share their own struggle going up. Padme says she's never met anyone like Anakin while Anakin says he's never met anyone like her either. He then kisses her on the cheek while Jar Jar (who was watching out of boredom) jumps in surprise. Meanwhile we see the Jedi helping Shmi and Owen with the dishes.
The topic of Anakin's father comes up. We learn that Shmi's sister left Tatooine when she was young in search of adventure. Years later she came back and gave Shmi baby Anakin begging her to take care of him before leaving. She had a lightsaber on her belt same as the two Jedi now. She also tell them how Anakin is special and can see things before they happen, just like her sister.
Ben says Anakin needs to be trained as a Jedi while Obi Wan resists the idea saying he's too old. He's all about giving the family their freedom but not taking along Anakin. Owen is Obi Wans side, saying Anakin's head is already off in the clouds as it is. Being a Jedi won't help him, he needs to be grounded and down to earth. His idealism is going to get him killed. Shmi isn't sure which side to take in the argument and defers judgement until after Anakin hopefully wins the podrace tomorrow.
Ben goes out and talks to Anakin and tells him about the Jedi and the Sith. We get a whole spiel about how strong Anakin is and how he would be a great asset to the order. Meanwhile, Darth Mauls ship lands on Tatooine at dusk and he sets out different probes to find the Jedi and the Princess. He smiles evilly to himself, showing rotting teeth.
The pod racing stuff is basically the same, only Padme is outraged when Sebulba threatens Anakin and Ben/Obi Wan manage to get the freedom of Owen and Shmi as well by trickery (not sure how). There is no two headed announcer and no Jabba cameo either. At the end, in desperation, Anakin uses his force powers to crash Sebulbas pod killing him. Nobody notices that Anakin used the force except the two jedi who look on in concern
While everyone else gathers around Anakin's pod to celebrate Ben and Obi Wan have a heated argument in the shadows of the bleachers. Obi Wan takes this as a reason why Anakin shouldn't be trained while Ben thinks that it would be better to teach Anakin before he falls down the path of evil. Eventually they agree to let Anakin decide, Obi Wan saying he'll probably want to stay with his family.
However Anakin decides to go. His mother respects his decision and is proud of him while Owen is furious, but accepts the decision as well but telling Anakin that one day he'll regret his choice and when he does he's always welcome to come live with them again. The family hugs while everyone else just kind stands around.
They walk back through the desert when they encounter a probe droid. Obi Wan slashes it with his lightsaber and tells everyone to run. Everyone runs inside while Maul approaches in his speeder bike. The fight goes differently as it is a two one one fight. They all exhibit powers never seen in the original trilogy like levitating objects swirling around them, going super fact, and slow motion. Basically a Matrix fight with lightsabers before they both jump onto the ship.
The scenes as they travel to Coruscant are similar. Anakin and Padme miss their parents etc. They then arrive at Coruscant and it is basically like the finished movie in design. They land and meet Chancellor Valorem, Senator Palpatine, and Qui Gon Jinn. Qui Gon hugs Ben like a son while Palpatine talks to Padme. Padme then talks to Jar Jar about how she doesn't understand the rift between the Gungans and the Humans. We then learn that the Gungans have a large army. Padme has an idea and decides to go back to Utapau.
The senate scenes are cut down dramatically. Its more of a montage showing Padme's increasing frustration before she finally calls for a vote of no confidence while Palpatine smiles sinisterly. The Jedi Council meanwhile consists of three members. Qui Gon who is a very unorthodox Jedi mindful of the living force (wanting the jedi to go and help the common people more), Mace Windu a bastion of militaristic conservatism (wanting the Jedi to take their rightful place as generals/leaders, and Yoda who wants to stay the course on isolationism and study of the force.
We don't see the Jedi trials, Anakin just talks about them to Ben, Obi Wan and Qui Gon. He says he didn't understand them, and Qui Gon who has taken a liking to this upstart kid says he wasn't supposed to. They are all called in and Mace says Anakin shall not be trained. He is too old and there is much anger in him. Anakin is heartbroken while Obi Wan nods grimly in acceptance. Ben Kenobi however is not having it. He says he shall train Anakin with or without the councils permission. Mace denounces this as Heresy while Qui Gon smiles. Yoda sighs and says the matter will be decided after this current crisis has ended.
Ben, Obi Wan, and Qui Gon all decide to go with Padme, but Anakin is told to stay behind. There is also the discussion about how Anakin is dangerous which Anakin overhears. Being told by Ben and Qui Gon that he's not a problem and how he will be a Jedi. Anakin gets an idea and sneaks aboard the ship with the help of R2. He is quickly discovered to Obi Wans rage and Bens laughter.
They get back to Utapau and have to go through the blockade. Anakin is able to hyperspace jump between the ships and the planet with motivation from Ben. Our heroes then try to find the Gungans at their city but it has been completely blown up. We actually see this though, as well as Jar Jars sorrow before he remembers the Gungans sacred place.
They go there and like the movie Padme makes a big speech about overcoming difference, with Jar Jar intelligently backing her up. We then get ready for the battle. Anakin tinkers with a disabled battle droid and finds out there is a second droid control hidden somewhere in the palace. So the plan is set. The Gungans will distract the droids, while the humans will infiltrate the palace, one team disabling the backup control systems and the others capturing Nute or stealing starfighters that will be used to take out the droid control ship.
The plan goes into action and things are kind of similar to the finished film, though Jar Jar shows intentional heroism instead of the goofy antics in TPM. When the starfighters are launched though, Padme goes into the fighter with Anakin. Him being the pilot and Padme being the gunner. The rest of the human teams make short work of the battle droids. However when they reach Nute a surprise is awaiting them, clones.
These clones look kind of like Dark Troopers and a Super Battle droid had a kid. They decimate the Utapau soldiers while Nute flees. Meanwhile with the Jedis they disable the secondary control system but are then met with Darth Maul. It is a brutal and awe inspiring fight. 3v1 and yet Maul still comes out on top. He knocks out Qui Gon who falls of the bridge (the duel setting is the same) while taunting the other two. "This is the end of the jedi" you get the drill.
The remaining soldiers manage to kill the clones but there are not enough left to fend of the droids. They are captured same as the Gungans. Ben gets riled up, makes a mistake and is killed. Obi Wan screams and charges getting knocked into the pit, hanging on by a thread. Meanwhile Anakin and Padme manage to destroy the flagship at the same time that Obi Wan takes Ben's lightsaber and cuts Maul in half. He then says "learn not live not as my master says" and then rushes to Bens side.
Ben begs him to train Anakin and he agrees. Meanwhile the humans and Gungans are celebrating. We cut to Qui Gon and Queen Amidala's funeral. Qui Gon throws away his lightsaber and walks off. He is done with the jedi after the death of what was effectively his son. Palpatine looks at him go intrigued. Meanwhile Yoda and Obi Wan argue over Anakin's training. Obi Wan says he will train him even without the will of the council like Ben said. Yoda gives in but warns Obi Wan of his arrogance.
We then get the celebration the end.

Gaz had crawled high into the apple tree and was pulling fruit down, lobbing it into the net his sister Tibble was holding out with her four hands. He hooted as he saw Jonathan walking through the rows.
Tibble turned, her blue fluff ruffling. "Human Jonathan! We have gathered many of the apples!"
Jonathan smiled as he approached, noting the large pile stacked on the ground. "Tibble, you have to put them in the baskets. Contact with the dirt will cause them to rot." He laughed. "I've told you this."
She shook her head. "Pyramid shape best. I like this." She pointed at the pile. "This is best way. You said you would make more cider. We like the cider. You will make it for me."
He knelt down and picked up an apple, taking a bite. Juice oozed out around his lips as his teeth pierced the skin of the fruit. He chewed for a moment while looking up at Gaz. "Yes. I said I would. Get these in the baskets and I'll carry them back."
She growled at him. "Piles are best." Tibble then began moving the top of the pile into the basket.
Jonathan sat under the tree as she filled the first basket, finishing off his third apple. She stacked it as high as she could before they started rolling off the top, and he got up. He lifted the basket and started carrying it toward the shed. "I'll be back for the next basket shortly."
He walked the half mile through the ruins of the city and stopped outside the door to the shed. He placed the basket down next to the apple masher and pulled the first apple up. He felt something ping on the back of his neck. Instinctively he scratched it, not remembering the sensation. He scratched a second time before he remembered what that particular vibration meant.
"Ares. Answer transmission."
The silicon based assistant accessed the relay and transmitted it to his subneurals.
An image of a man appeared in his ocular display. "Activation code Xeres Zulu three Kappa Alpha seven." The man said.
Jonathan tensed up and took a long breath before sighing. "Go ahead, admiral I'm guessing?"
"Admiral Alexander Oline, and you are Remnant Jonathan Kurzov?"
"I am."
"You are being activated."
Jonathan shook his head. "I'm retired."
"Retired?" The admiral asked. "You're done being human? I didn't know that was a thing."
"I'm retired from whatever you're wanting to ask me to do. Unless it's gardening, I don't give a shit about whatever you're doing."
Admiral Oline looked away for a moment and then back at Jonathan. "I have a report here describing in depth contact and conflict with an alien species, conducted by you. We received this information along with an application for a species of blue fuzzy creatures to be put under our species protection from a communications relay you and your assistant built. Am I wrong in this?"
Jonathan groaned. "No, you're right. I did a good deed."
Alexander nodded to himself as he looked over the report. "Yes, and now for your punishment." He smiled. "Prior to this, we thought all expansionist missions into your galaxy were extinct. The only traces we have left, before you, are the four sentience probes that were sent with your colonists. Do you still have access to those probes?"
Jonathan shook his head. "Haven't seen them in a few centuries. They left this system to continue scanning."
The admiral nodded. "Well, they have been continuing as programmed. They've been transmitting the entire time, and their data as mothballed during the last era, but now." He paused for a moment, his face growing stern. "A lot has changed since you left the Way. We, humanity, are on a similar path as yourself it seems."
"How so?" Jonathan asked.
"Humanity is making peace with our existence. We have gone back to our roots, trying to find peace in this darkness. Gardening, zen, familial ties, these are major values we have fostered, same as you and your adopted blue friends."
"Well, good for humans. Woo." Jonathan said. "Get to the point Oline. What do you want."
"Okay, I'll cut the curtsies. Those four probes from your expedition, their transmissions got bought up by a young entrepreneur. He went through them, refocused the probes to blue planet and found something. There's a species there, Isopodal, smart, but technologically savage. They're never going to reach beyond their atmosphere. They're planet locked, hell, probably never going to see electricity."
"Okay, so savages are causing a problem how?"
Oline sighed, shutting his eyes for a moment. "He watched them, then shared the feed with his friends, who shared the feed with their friends, and it became a phenomenon. These big bug, they're nice with extended families. They build their homes out of their shed carapaces. The longer they stay in a place, the bigger their homes get. Some are a hundred generations old, children walking through their halls touching the shells of ancestors long long gone. They scavenge, filter feed. The build tunnels to channel wastes from their small towns to the forests nearby, perfect balance with their ecosystem. They don't wage war, plan long term settlements with population quotas, living exactly as how the new human government envisions we should."
Jonathan nodded. "Sounds nice."
Oline sighed again. "It's a whole thing. We have a moon dedicated to making plushies of these things. People love them. The probes have been following specific towns for four decades now. Generations of people are involved in this ideology."
"And where do I fit in?"
"Your conflict with the Brin. Our Isopods biologically cleanse their environments of heavy metals. Their towns are built out of high demand, refined, high value materials. The Brin have since shifted their focus away from your blue fuzzy's and now are predating upon the Isopods."
"Fuck. Alright, I'll put a stop to them. You got coordinates for their homeworld?"
The admiral shook his head. "No, we're not into genocide anymore. We have to consider voters now. Your galaxy is being watched in detail now, with your little communication relay set up. We have to do this hands off, plausible deniability."
"For fuck's sake. Okay. How you wanna do this then?"
"Open source a Hadronic engine, give it to them. Basic freedom fighter protocols."
Jonathan nodded. "Understood."
Admiral Oline looked down at his templates and transmitted them. "Remnant Jonathan Kurzov, you are authorized to commence Project Pandora, classification Ultra Secret."
---===*===---
The father and eldest daughter and melted in the house of her forebears. She screeched through the walls, begging them to get out while she focused on the twins. She grabbed the two balls and tucked them into her filter pouches before running out the front door. She made it out to the beach as the heat intensified and the floating disk began sucking up their home. She stood in the water, her visual plate peaking out from the waves watching as she shivered with sadness. Her feeler appendages stroked the twins in her pouches as they fed from her filters, safe under the water. The beams finished melting down her home, pulling the slag up into the belly of the floating circle. She watched it float slowly away, disappearing down the beach.
She stood in the water, watching the smoldering hole that was her home far into the night. The stars were bright, and a dim glow came from beyond the horizons. She didn't dare leave her home, her ancestors. She kept shivering in grief, then she saw it.
A shadow contorted and a figure moved. Her vision, being as highly sensitive as it was, could barely make it out. She watched as it stood next to her ruins, her family home. A flash came from the thing.
"Fear not." It said as clearly as if it were her own blood.
She tiptoed out of the water, her weight coming back to her as she walked onto the beach. She shimmered back at the creature. "Spare us. Please."
It turned toward her, its face horrible and full of holes. Two orbs peered down at her, sending waves of fear through her shell. "A mother stands before me." It said, reflections appearing in front of it, cascading infrared to her. "I will do more than spare you."
Terror welled up in her and she fell down to the ground, but she resisted the urge to coil up and maintained her gaze upon the creature. "You are not them. You, you are different."
It walked closer to her, moving upon a mere two appendages. It lowered down next to her, extending a manipulator arm toward her. "Chance has sent a plague upon your peoples, one that you will not survive." It stared deep into her visor plate. "My people weep at that thought and offer you, Mother of three now two, a gift."
She could not help herself, and as if commanded without words, she extended two of her manipulator appendages up toward it. It opened up the ball at the end of its arm, five digits unfurling to reveal a black cube. It gently pushed the cube into her two pointed appendages.
"What is it?" She asked, shimmering.
The creature shimmered the air around it, speaking in ways she couldn't. "It is the gift we wish we did not have to give. It is horror, pain, and destruction. You know it in your organs, you feel it thinking about your mate, your daughter. Those that brought this feeling to you, will not stop until you give them this feeling back. This, this will allow you to do so, and I am sorry to have to give it to you."
She looked down at the cube in her points, feeling it as it vibrated across her limbs, reaching into her. Lines traced across her shell as she watched it grow on her. She looked back up toward the being as it crawled across her body but the shadow creature was gone.
A voice spoke to her, vibrations in her very core. "Hephaestus online. Greetings Mother."
She stood, her numerous feet appendages poking into the wet sand. "Where are you, being?" She shimmered with her shell.
"I am in you Mother, and am at your service." It replied within her minds.
"What has happened?" She asked, shivering with fear.
"You have been called upon to save your people."
She looked around before touching her own carapace. "How do I, how do we do that?"
"Where are the survivors?" It asked.
She thought for a moment, visions of the deep, visions of safety in the dark filled her minds.
"Go there. Help them."
She shivered again, defeat in the squish of body, her filters feeling the twins feeding at her sides.
"They will not stop, and more will suffer and die."
She turned her gaze back toward the horizon, seeing the glow of other homes melting in the far distance. "We can stop this?" She asked, now solely using her thoughts.
"I am but your tool. You can stop this." It replied.
---===*===---
She had not been to the vents since she picked her mate. They had fed there, filtering, hardening their shells together while discussing their future family. She could see the flickers of bioluminescence in the dark as she approached, her filters tasting the dense biofilm from the sea. She was close, and the flickers were from many peoples, many different families. She watched them talk, brothers, sisters, mothers, daughters, fathers, grandparents, all missing loved ones. Pain was the primary color, loss and heartache shared through the broken peoples.
She stepped into the outer ring, the heat of the vents warming her and her twins at her sides. Shimmers rose up to her asking who she had lost. She replied. "Mate and eldest daughter." But her reply wasn't heartache, but rather tinged with a new feeling and color. She replied with deep reds, a red tied to a thought from a people people beyond the stars, a red of blood and fire, things she knew nothing about.
The people's around her shifted in confusion at the colors. An elder great mother rose up to her. "You speak confusing daughter. What are you saying? Are you injured?"
She looked around, her visor meeting with dozens of others as they raised up to look at her. "The darkness came to me, spoke with me." She looked at the great mother. "The darkness touched me and has told me what we must do."
The elder mother walked over and touched manipulators with her. "Sit with us daughter, you need to rest. You have come far and need to heal."
"Our mates burn." The Mother of three now two said. "Our children, our families, our fathers burn. Things of light and pain come here and kill us. I will not heal these wounds. I bleed in my organs, pain beyond pain. I will not rest until they cease, until they feel my pain. They will feel this in their organs!" She flashed brighter than those around her thought possible. "I will stop them!"
A father stood up, pain shown in his colors. "They burn us. They are in the sky! How do we stop them? Do you know how? If you know anyway I will lend my spikes to yours. Please, tell us how! Anyone, tell us how." He shouted as bright as he could, lament touching his words.
The Mother of three now two walked over to him, placing her appendages upon his. Dots of blue light shifted from her carapace onto his. She looked into his visor plate and spoke with tinges of red. "The darkness has come and has promised us vengeance."
He flexed his carapace, breathing deep as he sucked in the sea. "What is this?" He asked, his own colors shifting toward the red.
"Our pain made flesh." She replied.
---===*==---
Brin operator Noloc was marking the next metal deposit while the syphons were busy pulling up the slag. It radioed over to buddy Lana. "You nearing full?"
Lana replied back. "Yeah. You want to get food while we empty?"
"Yeah, obviously." It replied. "Care to stimulate bodies while we eat?"
"Yeah obviously." Lana said. "Hey, are you getting any weird readings?"
"Like what?" Noloc asked.
Lana sent over telemetry. "Heat spikes in the water. What are those?"
Noloc looked them over and then scanned the water nearby. "Yeah, I got a dozen near me too. What are those?"
Noloc turned to look out the window just in time to see something leap onto the outer hull of its ship. "Um, one of the native creatures is on my miner."
Lana screamed through the radio.
Noloc shook at the noise and looked back out at the native. The creature was larger than normal, its color darker as well. Noloc watched as the thing curled, hunkering down on the hull. Deep scratching sounds echoed through the ship. "I am in need of assistance." It radioed up toward the mothership. "Assistance needed, native attack."
Telemetry came down. "Wait time for assistance five minutes. Ten minutes. Three hours." It read out, the time continuously increasing.
Noloc looked around. "What is happening! I need assistance!" Another thud on the hull and Noloc looked out to see another native boring into the ship. "Help!"
---===*===---
The Mother walked over to the downed ship and watched as the warriors cut apart the pilot. Hephaestus highlighted the mining beam as she walked across the machinery. She pointed with one of her manipulators. "There Father. We need that piece." She shimmered.
One of the fathers walked over and cut it free with his new sharps. "What is it Mother?"
"It is a tool of light and fire."
He shook, remembering his family burning.
"Remember that pain Father. They will feel it as they burn."
He paused and looked at her. "We will be as they are then. Burners, bringers of pain. That is not who we are."
She felt at the empty filters at her side. "My twins are in the deep with the mothers. That is not who they are, but that is who we must be so they can stay that way."
The Father shimmered back in tones of red. "They will be as we were before."
She flashed understanding. "We will suffer, become the monsters so they won't have to."
He replied understanding.
--===*===---
Three galaxies away, sitting in their living rooms across numerous worlds, humanity watched on. The four probes, hidden in their cloak fields, displayed in completed holographic representations, the forgotten horrors of war. Beams of fire and light rose up from the depths of the seas, melting Brin ships out of the sky. Day after day, the Isopods did what they did, scavenged. More fallen tech fed them, and within three months they had risen out of their gravity well, taking the fight into orbit.
A year later and several scavenged stations and the Isopods had opened up communications, seeking the others hiding in the shadows.
A world of blue fuzzy creatures were quick to respond, welcoming the filter feeders to the galactic community.
The Mother of Three now two was aboard the ship crossing the darkness as the first gathering commenced.

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I hate school being autistic. I always am made fun of for wearing the same clothes every day, stimming, being "weird", and stuff like that. I have 3 "Friends" lets call them F, B, and L. F always makes fun of how I look, and act. I never realized this until I talked to my therapist about F and found out that she's making fun of me. L always crosses my boundaries; I tell her I'm not comfortable with her hugging me and just physical contact in general and she still hugs me and grabs my shoulders. B I feel like is my only true friend. She never comes to school though. I have never been the kind of person to just be able to make friends easily. I became friends with F when we were paired together for an project. I never spoke but slowly she was able to make me talk a bit, then I met L and B through F.
I am just overall burnt out. I wake up go to school for 8 hours, then I go to practice for 2 hours, then I study for 2 hours, eat dinner 1-hour, free time 1-hour, and go to bed. School is so exhausting; I don't understand anything. I go nonverbal the second I have to talk to someone its terrible. I need help just to write notes. It's so embarrassing. I have meltdowns and people make fun of me for it.
I never care to even get a gf or bf because I'm ugly and nobody likes me. The girl I have a crush on, lets call her A is also autistic, but shes more of the smart autistic. I just want to be normal. I'm not smart anymore. I used to be in gifted classes and now I'm not. The only thing I am good at is reading/writing and I'm not even that good at it either. My grades are terrible, and my parents scold me for it.
Is anybody else feeling like this?

I (17f) recently went on a trip that lasted about a week (5 days). One of these days fell on April 1st. Although not widely celebrated in every single country some people from my country do it as a way to be funny.
Now we all had a set amount of money we were given for the day and what was left over would be added to the next day's amount. Our chaperones, two teachers and one of the teachers husband's were the only adults on this trip and they were obviously tasked with keeping the money and keep it safe.
We were at a concert when the mood suddenly changed and one of our chaperones said we had to get back to our lodging.
We were told that someone had stolen the money and they were searching the rooms.
Me and my two roommates had been together all day and knew neither one of us did it so we weren't freaking out like the others.
They found the person who stole the money but didn't tell any of us who it was. Emotions were high and everyone was pissed off at having their night of fun end because someone stole money we worked hard to get.(All of us worked and promoted the hell out of things just to be able to afford the trip)
My roommates and I decided to go take a shower because we had been sweating like pigs because of the heatwave that was running through the town we were in. It was a I'd dance in the rain if it came type of heat.
While in the shower one of the younger girls (I'm calling her Mia for privacy reasons) came in and asked us if we knew who stole the money.
We said no and she proceeded to tell us that this other girl (Jennie for privacy) was telling everyone it was Mia's best friend.
Now I will be the first to admit. I do not get along with Jennie. We were in the same middle school and she made me an outcast because I was interested in the old traditions of Halloween. Everyone I knew at school said it was something the devil used so that he could run around and do whatever he wants. I was called a satan worshipper because I was stuck in a school with a bunch of not so good Christians. Another instance was when she scrutinized me because I knew about the Gods of Greek Myhtology and said that I would be willing to worship them because of their values. (This was because we had a discussion in class about greek mythology and it's influence on the world past and present). She was not happy about it and kept making snide remarks and judging me.
I'm short, round, blonde and I make myself known. I really don't need to be judged by someone who had a stick up there.
There are other instances where we didn't get along but these two were the biggest reasons because honestly if you're going to call me a Satanist at the least you could get the pire ready.
Anyway, I was raised that innocent till proven guilty, and since no one knew who had done it she couldn't make comments.
I said as much. I also said that she should keep her nose out of it because it wasn't her place because what if it wasn't her and the girl's name was being dragged for something she didn't do? Rumors spread fast and true or not you still get judged for them.
Jennie came into the bathroom and told me to say it to her face instead of behind her back. I did. She got pissed.
Found out it was Mia's friend and only after some whole dramatized spiel of were sending her home, she would be expelled and us wondering if there was something we could do to help her if she was having financial troubles at home.
We were told about it being a prank and just as we got over the shock Jennie looked at me and my friend and said she demanded an apology from the both of us.
My friend also voiced her opinion in the bathroom by I have a pair of lungs, I speak a whole lot more and I'm the only one who had beef with herdue to past events.
I didn't apologize and neither did my friend because, A) Jennie wasn't in on the prank so she showed us her true colours by going around and telling everyone about it. She showed everyone she had made friends with that she was willing to throw them to the wolves if it meant she could have the spotlight. B) Had the scenario been real and I was the one who stole I would have liked for someone to stand up for me in my absence.(A I did a bad thing but I don't deserve to have my name dragged through the mud) Mia and her friend are both 15, Jennie is 19 going 20 (this is true she was held back in kindergarten twice). They are shy and get intimidated easily by older years and Jennie is imposing as f*ck. C)Younger girls are chatty some of them had already messaged some of their friends and told them what Jennie said. 20 people are going to think Mia's friend stole the money before they find out it's a prank.
I don't think I was in the wrong but I recently told this story to one of my other friends and she said I should have apologized because while I was advocating for someone else's right to privacy I was simultaneously hurting someone else's reputation by branding them a liar and a generally untrustworthy person with no sense of boundaries.
So AITA?

Author's Note: Welp, I'm back. I'm going to be doing these super-short stories from now on instead of the multi-paged short stories that took several days to write. I tend to lose motivation in writing when I have long, drawn out stories. I just want to write these stories about my characters and focus on their character beats and emotions, rather than one long drawn out plot. I do intend on making an overarcing plot with these stories, but told over many, smaller instances.
This story introduces a new character that will not be recieving a character concept page. The reason why is because I simply am not interested in making game concepts and I'm not interested in Overwatch (The Game) anymore. I just want to focus on the stories of my characters.
Harvey King, the handsome, smooth-talking, knuckle-bruiser of Overwatch, now reduced to another ruffian locked behind steel bars. The once highly-esteemed son of New York Cities biggest tech conglomerate entrepenuer, Leonhard King, now another criminal locked away for life for the high crime of terrorism. Not only that, but he was thrown under the bus, used as a scapegoat to get pressure off of King Enterprises, the company that dad always loved more than his own son. His own son, dammit!
"I'm tellin you Harv," Sean muttered on from the top bunk. "you've gotta cool off or you'll get yourself killed!"
"Shut up!" Kingbursted out at his insolent cell mate. The New Worker was a fairly handsome man with a sharp jawline and beautiful nose, but his charcoal black hair had become ragged due to a profound lack of hair gel in prison. Harvey was looking into a glass shiv that he had stolen from the one-eyed punk down the isle, desperately trying to get the angle just right so that he could see his reflection in it. He ran is his fingers down his jaw line, feeling the creases and folds that had been left by Winston's Tesla Cannon. His perfect face, the face who's nose had never once been broken in all of Harvey's days of brawling, was now left with an electrical scar that he would have to live with for the foreseeable future, at least until he can break out of this hole and get it fixed with a healthy dosage of surgury. "That damn monkey, he ruined my face!" He turned to Sean. "Look at this, he ruined my face!"
"Yeah, I've been looking at it for the past month or so." Sean snickered.
"You realize I already have a life sentence?" King snarled, his tone had grew contempted.
"Yeah, so? Most people here d-"
"'That means it won't matter if I use your teeth for golf balls!"
"Oh please kid, you ain't the first young punk to threaten me li-"
"I'll be the first one to go through with it," King yelled at Sean. grabbing him by the collar and dragging him down from the top bunk. "If you don't shut your fu-"
"Shut up in there!" A guard banged his baton against the bars, interrupting King. "And get your hands off your cellmate!"
"Sorry officer," King put on a happy, personable tone of voice for the gaurd. He obediently dropped Sean. "Won't happen again, I promise."
"Yeah, yeah." The guard walked off, uninterested in King's crocodile smile.
The moment the guard turned his back, King's face switched like a lightbulb, going from bright and charismatic to dark and irritated in a mere moment. He turned back to his stupid cellmate and lashed out at him, grabbing his collar and pulling him in close. "I think we need to come to an understanding, you and I," Harvey spoke menacingly. "Look pal, I've already had to put up with a lotta bull lately. I do not need a dishevelled, ugly piece of crap, such as you, giving me more bull. So if you continue to irritate me, I'm gonna make you choke on your teeth. You get me?"
Sean, at a lost for words, simply nodded out of fear. Sean was ugly and dishevelled, Harvey was truthful when he said that, but he was also much smaller than Harvey and wouldn't be able to defend himself.
"Good." Harvey gave Sean a toothy grin. Even in the dimly lit, murkey prison cell, Harvey's teeth still glistened. He dropped Sean, who immediately crawled back onto the top bunk, hugging the wall this time as to avoid being pulled down again, and sat down on his cold, hard matress. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to think of how to get out of this situation. Only he couldn't think of an escape plan, he had too much on his mind. He was trying to make sense of everything that's happened, the mistakes he made that lead to this point. He had everyone at Overwatch wrapped around his fingers like marionettes, his facade was perfectly crafted. He couldn't help but reminisce about when he first started, the conversation he had with his father to get the whole thing set up, the developing of squeaky-clean persona that would be irresistable to Winston and Sojourn, the persona that landed him a spot on Overwatch's small roster of agents and made everyone fall in love with him. Well, not literally fall in love with him, but he was a natural smooth talker and very easy to like upon first meeting.
He remembered the conversation with his father that got him introduced to the likes of Winston in the first place, the conversation between his father and the leaders of Overwatch. King Enterprises had promised to provide Overwatch with funding, but only so Harvey could get a chance within their ranks. Leonhard King, father of Harvey King, was the CEO of King Enterprises. The old man was an idealist, and so was his only son. They wanted to leave a good impact on the world, with King Enterprises having been nicknamed "The Company of the People"; at least, that's what the public saw. No, the real Leonhard King was a tyranical capitalist who valued money over human rights, a greedy old man who was born into a mafia family, but being the the second-born meant he never got a chance to take over the family when his father died. Instead, it was his elder brother, Everett King II, named after his and Leonhard's father, who got to take over the family. Unsatisfied with being second fiddle, Leonhard left the family completely to become an entrepanuer, and now, 50 years later, he was on top of New York's social hierarchy with the biggest tech conglomerate in New England. King Enterprises was built into many facets of life in America, they built all sorts of cars, home appliances, home security systems, but that's only what the media saw.
Of course, Leonhard never shook off his knack for crime. He was a King, and criminality flowed through the King Bloodline; taking money out of decent folks pockets was in their blood. The horrible truth of the matter was that King Enterprises, "The Company of the People", got into all sorts of shady business, such as illegally shipping arms overseas, racketeering, maintaining ties in the black market, and lobbying shady politicians. On top of that, King Enterprises was a major player in the Military Industrial Complex, producing all sorts of weapons for the government, and shipping all the surplus over seas to other countries; a good chunk of all equipment used by the U.S. military was manufactored by King Enterprises. And it is because of this influence on the Military Industrial Complex that Leonhard King also provides funding to terrorist organizations such as Talon, organizations who are keen on creating conflict and pushing the world to the edge of war. Corporate corruption ran through every level of King Enterprises, and everyone outside of the corporation was none the wiser.
It was yard time, and King was hanging out alone. He hadn't made any attempts to socialize with any of the other ruffians the populate the prison, for he isn't planning on staying very long, but he did intend on working out as much as he could while he was there. A long time ago, when King was a kid hanging out in the slums of New York, he had a buddy called Twig. He was called Twig because he was very skinny, but mostly because King wasn't a very imaginitive nicknamer. He got sent to prison at the age of 16 for accidentally killing a guy while trying to jack his car, and came out a few years later completely jacked. King ended up shooting and killing him a while after he got outta prison, mostly because Twig blamed King for getting locked up and wanted revenge, but King still remembered in high regards.
King was readying himself for the bench press, stretching and giving himself a mental preptalk, thinking along the lines of "just cuz you're in prison doesn't mean ain't King no more," and the like. While he was getting ready, a loud, gruff voice cut off his train of thought. "Hey, punk!" King swung his head around to see who was yelling at him, and beheld a man who was around his same height, but very, very prison-jacked. Not as prison-jacked as Twig was, but still very prison-jacked. "Your daddy wanted to give you a message." This man didn't seem particularly friendly.
"My daddy?" King was not happy about this. A message from his father? Really? That old bastard wanted nothing to do with his son, and if he wanted to send him a message, he could visit him on every other thursday! "The hell's the meaning of this?"
"He said you couldn't be naming any name, kid. Said you'd understand." The big man pulled out a shiv, swinging his arm forward while rushing at King.
"The hell!?" King exclaimed, caught off guard by the sudden attack. He managed to catch the man's wrist, stopping the shiv from plunging right into his guts. He had to act quickly, he wouldn't be able to hold this man's arm for very long before he got overpowered, so he had to resort to some dirty tactics. Spitting in the man's eyes then kicking him in the shin did the trick, causing the jacked man to faulter and drop his shiv. Harvey had been in many a street fight during his life, and with the shiv out of the equation he would be also to out-box this man. King was an experienced brawler, he learned how to tussle on the streets of New York City, and was once mentored by a prize-fighter how to box. If not for his father's interference, King would've spent his entire life living in slums, hanging around his Uncle's turf, instead of in the King's Estate with his father.
With his attacker instinctually wiping spit out from his eyes, King had the perfect opportunity to land his signature KO'ing right hook right into the man's dome. King wasn't the biggest, most intimidating fella on the block, but he knew how to throw a punch with a surprising amount of power. King threw several more punches, beating the man senseless with merciless intensity, just to let off some steam that he's been holding in since his incarceration. He would've beaten that man to death if he hadn't been hit in the shoulder by a gaurd's heavy baton from behind. King fell down and got tackled by a gaurd, ending the fight.
Thursday rolled around, and it was the other thursday. King, of course, didn't have any visitors, but he did have a phone call. King impatiently tapped on the tabletop, eagerly waiting for someone to pick up the phone. A wide, sparkling smile stretched across his face as the wheezy voice of an elderly smoker come out the phone. "Who is this?" The voice calmly asked.
"Hey, Uncle."

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So I’ve been talking to this girl off and on for 3 months at college. we hung out and few times then we’d make plans and she would cancel or have something come up so I would see her at parties mostly and we’d talk most the party or talk for a minute and then she’d go with her friends but when I talked to her I would ask her why she cancels or is she even trying to talk to me truly and she would say she does want to talk and she would just say I’m playing games or that I’m talking to other girls and she doesn’t like that. But I try to tell her that I’m actually not talking to any other girls. I have a couple friends that are girls but I’m not talking to anybody else so the last party she kinda understood that and we talk for like an hour straight at the party and she hugged me before she left and then since then she’s been hugging me and touching me a lot everytime we hang out or she’ll rest her head on me for a second but then I talked to her before I left school to know where we stood and I asked her for her feelings and she said she doesn’t know and you can tell she was getting flustered or she just didn’t know how to explain her then she said she wants somebody to fit her life so i asked do you know want to be able to fit in your life and she said yeah so I asked do you want me in your future and she said yeah so I was ok well that tells me what I need so I left it at that. So I go home we talk here and there every other day or so, I asked to call her last week and we FaceTimed for a few hours and then I was talking to her sister to while we were on the phone just chilling and then she took a picture of me and her sister was making fun of her and then the girl I’m talking to was like “it was cute ”then the girl was telling her sister that I try to get her to talk about her feelings with me and then her sister was like “good luck with that cause she never knows what she want” which I kinda knew already. but then she was saying she’s tired and she said call me tomorrow when you get home from my workout so I was ok so I texted her when I got home and asked if she was awake cause I sent her a snap and she usually opens it in the morning but she didn’t and then I didn’t hear from her for like 2 hours after and she was like “yeah im awake I just have a headache so I’m laying in bed” so I was oh ok well I can you later if you want to get rid of your headache and she responded 2 hours later saying give me a sec cause I need to go help somebody with something so I was alright just call me later if you want if not like it’s cool so then she had some family stuff going on and she texted me about it. I was confused by how she was saying it like I didn’t know if she was trying to say she can’t call or she just wanted to talk about it. So I was ok like “I get it. You’re good handle what’s going on and if you need to talk I’ll be here or if you need space I can give it to you. You just let me know what you need” she left me on read so I was alright ima just step back from the situation so I didn’t talk to her for a couple days and she goes “wyd” like two nights later and I was nothing really right now but wyd” Nothing back from her So I’m like alright. I text her the next day cause I had a question for her sister and I didn’t want to just call her cause she goes to sleep early sometimes so I texted her like “are you awake still?” Nothing again. The next day I call her just to check in and then she let it ring for awhile and then declined which is fine cause she might be busy but then she don’t call back or text back so I’m like I know you seen it and there’s just no communication and in the mean time she hasn’t really been snapping on Snapchat but like she’s done that since like the last week I was at college. But then also I posted something on my Snapchat last night and then she slid up and was like and she was playful making fun of it cause it was a funny thing so I went back and was playfully making fun of her and then nothing again.

Background

My last of four contests in a 6 week span. This was also the first drug tested qualification for the world championships in the US. I want to support this type of competition, which is why I signed up months ago when it came up. Funnily enough, I was technically a heavyweight for this as that's what the 231lbs weight class is called in this federation.

Training

Training for this was basically just depending on carryover from the previous training. I did very little in the two week intermission because I was mentally and physically exhausted. I literally did arm-over-arm training once and that was because I joined my wife when she was training it. I did do some deadlifts, 505lbs for 3 reps, and that was the heaviest weight I touched. I tried stones once, but I had issues with tacky and grip, causing me to just give up. At this point, I was just surviving until the contest.

Contest

There were about 50 people signed up although a few didn't show up. Either way, there were a decent amount of people, especially in the super heavyweight class. There were only 4 of us in "heavyweight" (I still can't get used to calling 231s heavyweights, so I'm just going to stick with using the numbers). I did look up two of them on Instagram, and I knew they were going to be quite strong. A 198lb competitor moved up to 231s and someone dropped out, so we did not have a net loss in my weight class. It was a one day contest (that ended up being super long), and it basically rained off and on all day.
Max Log Clean and Press
This was a last-man standing style event with no limits on how many jumps you could take. There were two more events like this during the day, which is why the contest took so long. The mats were a fairly wet and slippery initially, so I took some really early jumps. Plus, I used those as warm-ups. I started push pressing to make sure I didn't zero. However, because there were so many people taking the weights and because the rain stopped, the mats started drying off fairly quickly, which meant I could split jerk again. I ended up at 250lbs, tried 270lbs but didn't get it. Just a bit too heavy, and I didn't want to push it to risk anything. Three of us ended up tying at 250 because one competitor skipped 270 and barely missed 290. The competitor who ended up winning was not affected by this mistake in this event.
Sandbag, Keg, Sled Medley
This was a unique event. First, carry and load a 200lb sandbag onto a sled, run back, and arm-over-arm pull the sled about 10 feet. Then, carry and load a 250lb keg onto the sled, run back, and arm-over-arm pull the sled about 15 or 20 feet. Finally, carry and load a 300lb sandbag onto the sled, run back, and arm-over-arm pull the sled the rest of the way, about 15 or 20 more feet (I don't remember the distances perfectly honestly). During warm-ups and testing for this, I realized that it would be very useful to take a few seconds and make sure the sandbag and keg are situated well to load the last sandbag on the front easily. The first sandbag was fairly easy, the keg wasn't too bad (I didn't carry it high to save my legs), but the second sled-pull was starting to get fairly heavy. The last sandbag wasn't terrible, but it definitely was heavy enough to slow me down and tire me out. It was also heavy enough to really make the sled difficult. Because of the log ties, I was going in the first heat, so I had to give it all I had to get a few pulls in. I think I pulled it like 5 or 6 feet. However, it was enough to win because no one else was even able to load the third sandbag. It was very fortunate for all of us that it was still not raining for this event.
Max Deadlift
Same thing as log, it was a last man standing and you can take as many jumps as you want. I did a little bit of warm-ups, but as soon as the event started, it started raining pretty decently. I wanted to stay dry as my main priority, so I stayed out of the way until around 430lbs as my first official lift. Then, with the 20kg jumps, I did 474lbs, 518lbs, and I finished at 562lbs. This was good enough for third out of four. Second place did 606lbs, and first got 650lbs. Some really good deadlifters here, and this was a competition PR for me and my second heaviest deadlift ever. I was pretty happy, especially in the rain and because it was on an incline facing down, making the deadlift harder for everyone.
Max Distance Yoke
This even is fairly simple. Ninety seconds, 635lbs, 50 foot each way, and carry the yoke as far as you can. Again, because I was going in the first heat, I could not pace myself. Again, the rain was coming down but slowed down a little at least for us 231s. I finished 200 feet right around 60 seconds, took a breath, and carried the yoke for another 50 feet. I didn't have much time left, so I went as far as I could. However, my legs were essentially jelly. I finished at 261 ft, but first place got 277 ft in the second heat. Finishing second here all but guaranteed my second place overall.
Max Atlas Stone
At this point, it was after 4pm, and we were just starting last event. I barely have trained stones the past year, so I had no expectations besides not zeroing. Luckily, the rain stopped, the mats dried out, and the stones were nice and dry under a tent all day. It was fairly cool, so I decided to use my grade 2 tacky from Cerberus, which was a good idea. One competitor decided to call it a day (he was in last and his family was exhausted). I knew the two remaining ones were better than me at stones, so I wanted to just get some good lifts in for myself. Once we got to 300lbs, it felt way better than I expected. I was excited to try 330lbs, but I barely missed the load over the bar. A bit of a technique issue, unsurprisingly, but the strength was there. I was about to try once more, but I only had 10 seconds. I finished third there (i.e., last of remaining people), and the other two tied at 360lbs, barely missing 400lbs each.

Overall

I finished in second place. First place was just much stronger overall, and he definitely deserved the win. Nothing to do my end except get stronger. It was a super long day (I was at the competition area for 12 hours), the weather was difficult to deal with, and it was a heavy show with three maxes. I had fun, and I hope they keep holding these types of events.

What's Next

It's finally time for an off-season. I'm going to take about the next 6 months and work on (in order of priority) on my log, deadlift, and stones. Those are really my biggest weaknesses, so I'm finally ready to get stronger and better instead of just maintaining between contests. Plus, I think I'll write-up some lessons learned for competing so much in a short amount of time.