I’m currently dating someone and we’re in a ldr. We text everyday and have done since the beginning but it’s beginning to get old and the conversation feels robotic. I have mentioned this to them on multiple occasions and asked to broaden our communication through calls etc and they agree but never follow through with it by calling me.
We also used to have frequent online movie nights until they started flaking on me when I asked if they want to watch something that night. I compromised with this and we now have one /two nights a week dedicated to it but even this I feel is so bare minimum and as if I’m not important enough for a spontaneous movie night. What also confuses me is how this was never an issue in the beginning but now it is?
So AITA for bringing these issues up? Because they make me feel like I’m asking for too much. And is this worth the long distance?
note - I’m female he’s male if that makes any difference

I tried writing this last night but it got too long so I will try to make it shorter this time.
So in 2017 I was added in a group chat on Facebook. He was in the group chat. I was always the type of friend who would be there for my friends so I reminded them that if they need someone they can talk to me. I hung out often with these people. But individually I wasn’t close to anyone(if that makes sense).
He texted me one day asking me for help. He was sure I wasn’t going to judge him. I really didn’t. After that we kind of got close. We started hanging out individually. he wasn’t like the other guys and our bond was special. I hoped to lose him.
Slowly my feelings for him grew. I was in denial because I can’t do it. It would ruin the friendship. One night me and that friend group hung out. We “sneaked” into a nightclub. We were underage but one girl wasn’t and you are allowed to go into nightclubs with a family member(or someone who is over 18). We drank a little and the alcohol got us in a flirty mood. he started flirting with me and I flirted back. Somehow after this we kept on flirting as a joke. my mind didn’t accept this is a joke even though it was.
My feelings got more intense when he started talking to a girl. I was helping him still because I was still in denial. They got together and since it was a long distance relationship it was all good but it was long distance but when they met things got toxic. I wont go into details but we all were telling him to break up with her. When he did I was relieved. We started jokingly flirting again. And planning future. To move in together and have a dog and a cat. Somehow was delusional enough to think that he was being for real even though we both knew it was a joke. I was so hurt how he would rant about how much he misses her the next day.
My world turned around when they got back together. I got physically sick and that night I realised I was in love. I was hoping for them to break up so i could make him fall for me. Long story short his relationship with that girl was on and off. Every time it was off(breaking up) I would have hopes and at this point I was the one who flirted the most and I was being for real.
The relationship lasted 2 years and half. After they broke up for real I had a feeling it was over. Around the time I tried to make him forget about her and I tried to prove him that he is loved(without confessing). I was so jealous when he told me that many girls confessed to him that they like him and they were waiting for him to break up with his ex. He started fucking around(although I would say that he isn’t as bad as most of the guys because his body count is not a double number). I was still trying to make him fall for me.
One night we went to a nightclub again with his friends. We both got a little drunk and flirty. Sober me would be too shy to sit on his lap. This was the first time we got touchy. I was too confident. I don’t remember what we were saying before we kissed but I was so happy. I was in the mood so I started teasing him but he stopped me because I was drunk. I told him that I’ve been waiting for years for this to happen and I’m sure. But that night things ended here.
The next day we talked about it and I couldn’t hide the fact that I was waiting for him for years. We decided to give it a try. I was so happy. Happy and in love. It was like a dream come true.
Everything was perfect besides from when I initiated sex he would reject me because he wants my first time to be special. I told him that it will be special because it’s going to be with him. He said that we can’t do it yet. And I was weirded out. Why?
One night I was too curious and I decided to do something I would never do. I went through his phone. And I found out something that broke my heart. he was texting his friends about how much he loves me but he misses his ex. His friends were calling him stupid for missing a bitch who cheated on him and used him and manipulated him. He opened up about how he doesn’t want to have sex with me because he doesn’t think that it would be fair to me my first time should be special. I felt so heartbroken.
In the morning I told him that I know he misses his ex and we got an argument about how I went through his phone without his consent but then he apologised to me. We ended things and my biggest fear came true. I lost him. It’s been six months but it’s still hurts.
So guys please don’t wait for someone for years. Don’t wait for someone who is in a relationship. Don’t the guy who got out of a relationship less than a year ago. Don’t make my mistakes.

Created in canva
Hello dear community, I composed in Canva what I would like to create in Resolve for my card game videos: the frame at the bottom of my screenshot. I want to display the information of the new card being played in my video, which have variable length of text. I have watched several videos on text effects and editing but I'm still not sure how to approach this task: create a "smart text box"
I have tried splitting the job in 2, by downloading and use the plugin "BetterSrames" from a youtuber and then added a "Text+" element on top of it. But very soon it was a nightmare of text alignment and size. I couldn't make it look like my canva, and working with spaces between words to reach the visual aspect seems wrong. I can't see myself redo it for every card played in my video. So I'm reaching out for advices.
Do you know of a plugin which could do that? Or is it possible to create a smart template in fusion to do this? I would be very grateful on tips / strategy on how to approach this. Best

I think he is avoidant? I don't want to label but it seems pretty close to how he has been lately. He'll have periods of a week or two where he's extremely affectionate, clingy even, talking about his feelings and how much he misses and loves me, how excited he is to see me etc. Then out of nowhere he's aloof and barely reaches out, doesn't reciprocate affection, ignores my texts, doesn't tell me anything about his day or his life, and isn't really engaged when I talk about what's going on in my life. When this happens I just continue to send him a few texts like usual or send him a picture or two throughout the day but mostly I just force myself to leave him alone. It's both of our first relationship and we both have a lot to work through and long distance is hard so I'm pretty patient and I don't think he's doing it on purpose, but honestly it's been a few months of this and the weird push/pull is starting to make me freak out and second guess everything.
I found out today through a group chat with our IRL friends that he signed up to be a residential camp counselor from Jan-March 2025. We were supposed to move in together in my state at the end of January. We're pretty young and he's moving not me, so I expect the date to move around. But he didn't tell me? He didn't even tell me he was thinking about it. Or that he wanted to delay the move. That job would be a big change and would affect our relationship and it would mean we'd only be able to talk to each other on the weekends, it would suck but if we both want to stay committed then I have no concerns.
However him literally not mentioning this to me at all, coupled with him being super aloof and distant for the past week is making me freak out a little? My feelings are super hurt that I am not being kept in the loop at all. I dont feel like we are in it together right now. He is secure and confident in our relationship but he didnt even think to ask me how I felt about this or anything. I don't know what goes on in his head when he goes back and forth like this and frankly its making me feel really sad and alone and distant from him. I want to communicate this to him but im not sure how to do it without making him feel defensive.
Again I dont think its intentional. If he stonewalls me when I tell him how I feel, honestly I will consider breaking up, I'm an anxious person and I'm exhausted from doing constant shadow work and my heart can't handle constantly guessing if my boyfriend will even say he loves me back today. I respect his alone time 100% but this feels different. He loves me a lot and prior to dating we were best friends for 4 years. Im seeing a new side of him and I want to approach this stuff in a patient and non accusatory matter, really I just want to understand why he didn't let me in on these things and maybe why he's being distant. Most of the time if I had a concern he'd be pretty aloof and a little dismissive. But when those walls come down and he begins talking about his feelings, that's when we start making some progress and understanding. Any advice on how to approach this or what I can do on my side would really be appreciated.

Let me start with the summary version:
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman? At least this can give me a better visual illustration.
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on and , they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?

October last year I matched with a guy on a dating app. I’ve never really had a march quite like it, an instant connection, amazing conversation, so much in common, nice physical spark. I was excited . On dates he would hold my hand and talk about how he feels we get along so well
But he kept me at a distance, never flirted over text, messaged in a really formal way, took several days to reply. Confusing given that we connected so well on dates . He had a few problems in the bedroom where he said he was ‘thinking too much’ but I was patient. He said he felt comfortable with me. But whenever I stayed over, he always seemed to want me to leave asap in the morning, never wanted to hang around for long. He planned dates very last minute. He spaced dates apart once every 3 weeks. I got really anxious but I didn’t tell him this. I was always communicative, put effort in, and I know I put my best self forward
Then he lost his job, had visa issues (he’s from abroad) and eventually said he didn’t feel romantic and that he wanted to be friends. He said it was a him thing and nothing on me. He also said he sees himself moving back home other side of the world next year
He remains friends but still acts a bit strange. Sometimes he texts me all of the time, sending memes and recipes and other times he disappears for a while. Then he asked to see me and he took me to play golf, he was hugging me a lot , touching me subtly and telling me once again how he feels that me and him get along so well. He told me he might go back to his home country next year but he’s not sure
I went on holiday last week and during that time, he was liking every story post I put up of myself, sending me messages asking about my holiday. I then replied back to him and I said ‘how are you doing?’
He didn’t reply. It’s been a week. He continued to like my stories and posts but won’t reply back. This doesn’t make sense to me . He hasn’t even opened the message and I don’t understand and I’m worried once again what’s wrong with me
He’s moved a couple hours away for a new job and I couldn’t help but see if he has a new hinge profile. He has just gotten a dating app profile and seeing it has made me sad. His profile even says he is looking for a long term relationship 😞
I don’t get it . I’m 29 and never had a partner and me and him really clicked. Could it be he still likes me somewhat?
I’m upset tonight cause I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m an attractive woman, he used to tell me I was pretty and that he loved my company, but why would I never be good enough for a relationship. I still have feelings for him and I’m scared I’ll never lose them but also scared i won’t ever be liked by anyone
I’ve never had feelings for anyone like I did him. And I don’t get his behaviour or if it means anything
Like is it even normal to be attractive and get friendzoned.

I 22F and my bf 25M are currently on a break for the week. I’m doing my uni finals at the moment, and I have been a bit stressed. I noticed my bf wasn’t really talking to me the way he normally would and I asked him what’s up. He sent me a really long text detailing now he thinks we are never on the same page (1), he keeps thinking about how I read his diary (2), I called him my ex’s name by acccident (3), and he is stressed because I am frustrated about my exams (4). I’ll detail these more now.

1. He wants kids. I met him online and told him in my profile I was strictly against kids. Recently, I have come around about that, but I am still unsure. I’m not against them but I have explained I would need to do what I want and live my life a bit and have a house and job before I could decide that. I am also a child of divorce and saw how that really affected my mum, and I explained to him how that also put me on the fence. He said he doesn’t want to be with someone for years and it feel like a “waste” if it doesn’t work out kids wise and he doesn’t wanna start dating in his 30s. Another thing is travel. I had told him I would perhaps like to travel after uni, but I am forgoing that. I said it would be nice to go away on holiday like his other friend couples do maybe once a year, but he thought that I was insinuating we MUST go this year. I explained that I wasn’t expecting him to, because he wants to save for a house (rent), and he can’t get any hols anyway. He was really silent after that as if we had “argued” and in his eyes that was an argument he brought up this week. I didn’t raise my voice at him or argue, rather said that wasn’t what I meant and explained further.
   
2. This one is bad, I know. I was in a really bad place mentally, and I thought that something was wrong with him since he sometimes suffered from anxiety and dealing with the future. I had only read the last entry he put in and immediately after I read it I told him as I felt so guilty betraying him. I’ve apologised profusely and I’ve been going to counselling to help my own anxiety and depression. I wanna note that I’m not like that around him, it’s mainly when I’m by myself so he doesn’t really see that side of me. In the moment I was genuinely worried for him. I know it still makes what I did bad.
   
3. This one really tears me up every day. We were playing around, and instead of saying his name in a playful annoyed way I said my exes. He immediately shut down and wouldn’t talk to me or hear me out. In fact, he kicked me out of his house. I get that what I said was not nice to hear, and upon talking to my counsellor she said it was a common thing to do, and doesn’t mean I was thinking about my ex. I wanna say that I DO NOT think about them and have blocked and deleted them from my life. In doing that however, I did begin to spend more time with my gay bestie who happens to have the same name as my ex and I happened to talk to on that day. I really believe it was a mistake and I thought he was trying to move past it but he keeps bringing it up.
   
4. He doesn’t like to be around me when I’m stressed. When I’m frustrated, I’m not angry at him or raise my voice at him or be passive aggressive, it’s more so internalised at myself. He was offering me advice this year and feels like because I didn’t stick to a schedule to complete my uni tasks, I was ignoring him. I work last minute, it’s how I have always worked and I get great result. Not to mention, in his final uni year he was the same as me. I dont really get this argument to be honest.
   

I also wanna note that he told me he wasn’t sure if this is the “real” me or if I was on my best behaviour at the start of the relationship. Everything was great at the start, but in my first week of uni my grandmother died, I then had to have surgery 2 months later to remove breast tumours (non cancerous), and I guess that and uni stress really caught up with me. He saw that I was doing better by going to the gym and feeling better about myself, but said that I snap back at times and don’t like myself. I think this is normal as some people have off days but I think he’s annoyed by it.
Also, at the start of our relationship he was really anxious about us, and I helped him through it. He was also stressed about jobs, and I had helped him prep and make a new cv as I’m good at that stuff and he got job offers. In fact at one point he said to me that he thought I was with him for money. I had more in savings than him at that point and paid for things/went 50/50. I am also lined up for a higher earning job than him when I’m out of uni.
We are on a break atm until my exams are over (20may). I genuinely don’t think these are things to waste 1 year over especially when I’m gonna be out of that stressed environment soon. He replied one night to my goodnight I love you saying “love you” but only replied x last night. Am I the problem? Am I overreacting for feeling like an awful person?
My parents say he’s not treating me nicely or fairly, and my friends say that the only thing I did wrong was read his diary. I just feel like an awful person.

I have been planning on moving back to my home city after being away for around 6 years, and have still maintained an amazing friendship with someone I met in elementary school. We text every day and hang out all of the time when I am visiting home. I decided I wanted to put my roots down there so I am buying a condo.
Since I don't have any other friends in the city, who better to get accustomed to it than my best friend? I asked him if he would be interested in living with me for a cheap price given that I got a 2 bedroom condo, and he said no as he thought it could ruin our friendship. I didn't press it and went ahead with the process for buying a 1 bedroom condo.
About 1 month into the process of me going down and visiting places multiple times a week, he texted me saying he changed my mind and that he was interested. Given he said he wasn't interested before, I told him that he has to swear that he is serious, and if he was I would switch my plans back to buying a 2 bedroom place.
Eventually, about another month later, I ended up signing on a 2 bedroom place that we both liked and I put down the earnest money deposit which was multiple thousands of dollars. We hung out multiple times that week, and a few days after the last time, he texted me saying that he was no longer interested in living with me. I was extremely confused and angry as I uprooted all of my plans for this and had already put down the deposit. When I asked him why, he said it was because "the last few times we have hung out have just felt off". This made me livid as we have hung out hundreds of times and he was willing to screw me over just because of the last few times.
Granted, the last time we hung out I had gotten extremely drunk and was making idiotic Zoomer internet jokes, so I think I know what he was talking about. It's not like I had ever done this before though, and there was nothing too abrasive being said... just saying bullshit like "skibidi toilet" as I had seen it on Youtube the other day.
After I went off on him, he agreed to pay me the deposit I had already forked over, which was around half of a year's rent that I was going to charge him (which is a lot lower than he would've paid anywhere else in the city). I was grateful for this, as now the only thing I had lost was the time and effort I had put into searching for places for the past 3 months. After arguing, we have apologized and are on OK terms at the moment.
The kicker for me though is that someone who has said I was their best friend dozens of times since elementary school would have rather paid half of an entire year of rent than live with me. I valued his friendship more than any other bond I have in the world, but I don't know if I can even be more than acquaintances with someone who is making those kinds of statements with their actions.
I'm really torn up about it, and wanted to know how this would make other people feel and if they could get over it? I wish we could go back to how things were, and that's what he wants too. I don't know if I can ever see him as more than an acquaintance at this point though.

When I was 18 years old, I met my future wife, Mia. She was the same age as me and we had recently graduated from the same high school.
Before meeting me, Mia had engaged in a lot of reckless sexual behavior. I would later learn that she was having sex when she was 13, had participated in group sex, and was extremely inconsistent about using protection. Mia's recklessness led to me, and our common poor decision making led to an unintended pregnancy. Mia ran to her parents, I ran to my parents, we all got together, and they agreed that we were either going to terminate or get married. We chose the latter.
Eight years later, Mia approached me wanting a divorce. I was honestly not surprised in the slightest. Getting married so early made us miss a lot of our early years, and while were always able to live together peacefully, we realized that we were a poor match in the first place.
It has been seven years since our divorce. Our son, Henry, is 14 years old now. We have an agreed custody agreement, and I think that despite our shortcomings as romantic partners, we have developed into competent and caring parents. One of our rules of shared custody is that when Henry misbehaves (which is very rare) and is being penalized for it, we both honor the agreement of his grounding.
On Wednesday evening, Mia texted me to say that Henry was grounded, but she would be dropping him off on Thursday morning. When I asked for details, she told me that she had caught him watching pornography. I thought that was a bit strict, but "watching pornography" can range from fairly normal teenage boy behavior to complete sexual deviancy. When asked for the details, she elaborated that he was on his computer in his room, and she entered without knocking to catch him.
Well, she dropped Henry off, and I had a talk with him. He was very apologetic. It was awkward, but I taught him two things: (1) sexuality is normal and nothing to be ashamed about. (2) porn is a terrible industry depicting highly non-normal acts, and often involves exploited parties. Henry understood this but told me that he was looking at images of an independent model.
I decided that Henry hadn't really done anything wrong at this point. I told him to be smart about his privacy, always respect boundaries, and never view that sort of material in public places. Then I un-grounded him, gave him access to his PS5, and let him enjoy himself.
Well, his mother logged onto her own PS5 during this time, and she saw Henry online. She called me yelling about the terms of his grounding, and from another room I told her that what he did wasn't really that bad. She then talked about the harmful effects of porn, to which I responded "At his age, you were having unprotected threesomes. Do you really want to shame him?" She got really flustered at that comment and eventually hung up on me. She has texted me intermittently about how wrong I was.
Was I the asshole for this?

Let me start with the summary version:
It all began when I first stumbled upon Inside Edition's videos of women - that's WOMEN getting slammed, insulted, and blasted for "showing too much of their body (with kids around)". Then it escalates further when they show a school is photoshopping out women's cleavages to make them look "modest" for their yearbook. I feel this type of treatment towards the female human is all wrong! Like, can't anybody learn to appreciate and look at the female body without censoring it in any way? Can't you let ANYBODY, including kids, get a chance to learn about the differences between the male and female human bodies????
Then comes along... you guessed it. That one video Inside Edition publishes. And after seeing her top blurred, my inner voice in my head: "That's the last straw!" Like, can't some of us get a chance to learn something new that just aroused our curiosity? Such as how the human body changes with time in terms of both genders? Like, now, I can finally visualize myself (my whole body) from little boy to fully grown man. But when Inside Edition published that footage, the new question that took me by storm is: what would a female look like from little girl to fully grown woman?
But with YouTube's broken comment system GHOSTING certain-to-random comments, even on my backup YouTube account, I can't seem to get ANY messages across!
Speaking of which, when I tried to post this on Feminism and AskFeminists, they BOTH perma-banned me for NO REASON and muted me from talking to their mods for 28 days!
Why do I say "no reason"?
"Hello, You have been permanently banned from participating in this subreddit because your post violates this community's rules. You won't be able to post or comment, but you can still view and subscribe to it.
If you have a question regarding your ban, you can contact the moderator team by replying to this message.
Reminder from the Reddit staff: If you use another account to circumvent this subreddit ban, that will be considered a violation of the Content Policy and can result in your account being suspended from the site as a whole."
As you can see, there is no specific reason listed in the message above. So this is why I claim or what I mean by "banned from a sub for 'no reason'. - Even for something that was never officially listed on that sub's rule board.
Once more, I, along with these parents of their own daughter proved one major point: if a male can go topless/show their body, then so can a female - regardless of age!
Can't I get a chance to learn something new? Some evolution/development processes for certain things can be a little more complicated then you originally first thought.
Now here's the detailed version:
Ok, before you start reading below, I want you to visit this and read the whole article to better understand my situation: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/kitchener-waterloo/guelph-parents-angry-after-topless-girl-8-told-to-cover-up-1.3124762
I got banned from Lemmy social site servers for "CSAM" all because of this: the Napalm Girl pic and another thing I saw on Inside Edition's channel in addition to some nude statues - literally artwork of naked people - all because I was trying to protest ~the inconsistencies of censorship towards the female human~ - regardless of their race AND age!
Let me be clear on one thing: I didn't post any "CSAM" on the Lemmy servers! I'm protesting something that I feel is unfair towards the female human.
Please ~actually watch these before jumping to conclusions~ so you can actually understand what I’m really protesting!
Women Who Were Told Their Outfits Were ‘Too Revealing’
Mom Says She Was Kicked Out of Gym For Revealing Tank Top: I Felt Humiliated
Cops Dragged Woman Off Beach After Complaint About Her Bikini
It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit or body is “too revealing”,
Teens React After Yearbook Photos Are ‘Modesty Edited’
it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look “modest” for a yearbook or a portrait!
9-Year-Old Saves Family From House Fire
But censoring a topless preteen girl who thought up an ingenious strategy to stay cool like her friends in the same stuffy room while at the same time not caring who’s around her? THAT’S REALLY CROSSING THE LINE!
It's all thanks to some videos from Inside Edition's YouTube Channel.All these videos Inside Edition posted are developing a question in my mind that's getting the better of me: why so much hate on the female human - even as children? Like, why do they censor the little girl's chest? Can't anybody learn to appreciate the appearance of the female body? Just like those parents of their own 8 year old daughter, I too am genuinely outraged by this type of treatment towards the female human!
And what's the big deal with nipples? I'm just trying to ensure everyone is treated equally regardless of race, and gender... AND age (after what I just witnessed). And if no one's gonna speak up about this, I might as well step up to the plate. After all, somebody's got to do it!
That little girl in the final video made two non-verbal messages clear: one: if a boy can do it, then so can a girl! And two: no one is too young for anything! As long as you have the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to do it properly and safely, you'll be fine. I was able to refuel my dad's car and cook my own dinner when I was 6 and without setting anything ablaze by accident.
However, when I try to illustrate with that video, even though Inside Edition is an official news channel, the responses I get back are rather bitter! They remove my post or ban me from the sites I post on for "promoting nudity involving a minor"!
~WHERE~
~CAN~
~I~
~ASK~
~OR~
~SHARE~
~THIS~
~SUBJECT?!~
Due to my autism, I only know basic English. So I need to illustrate to get most of my messages through. I thought hard, I tried, and low and behold, they were removed hours later mainly because they "didn't fit the subject of the forum". Even though my multi-subject based thread does have some material relating to this forum's topic. These sites and mods are all really stretching my problem solving skills beyond the breaking point for this one. I'm merely protesting with these pictures and videos as illustration. I'm not that good with words, so I need pictures to get half my messages across as noted above.
Many subreddits or forum sites don’t accept URLs, pictures, specific website URLs, or even a combination! Thereby hindering my ability to fully explain what I’m witnessing! In this case, the sentences “It’s one thing to say a girl’s outfit is ‘too revealing’, it’s two things to photoshop out a girl’s cleavage to make her look ‘modest’ for a yearbook.” actually corresponded to several videos I beared witness to on Inside Edition’s YouTube channel.
I actually tried to post that URL with that blurred 9yo girl in a subreddit in the past and you won’t believe this: I actually lost my reddit account for 2 days for “promoting nudity involving a minor”! Other sites like the adult video forums who accept uncensored nudity-based images I mentioned just delete my thread! Another site I recall banned me for 1 year for “spam” - even though I only made this protest post twice (after they removed it once).
So that meant I had to approach this from a different angle: after that experience, I got a little paranoid from using that said video URL to illustrate. So I tried explaining this protest without the URLs - and this is in conjunction with certain sites restricting my ability to post images, URLs, certain site URLs, or a combination. It seemed to end up making things worse! Because without the visual evidence, it makes it much harder to fully explain what I’m witnessing.
So without the URLs included - that visual illustration, on the sites I tried along with Lemmy World, it actually made things worse! That’s what lead Lemmy.World mods to ban me for life for “CSAM” or made other people think I watched child porn when I clearly didn’t. The lack of visual evidence (due to my past reddit experience combined with the site’s posting restrictions) is what lead to this “pedophile” confusion. So please help me talk some sense into the Lemmings world, Lemmy.ml, and Lemmy.world mods that this was all a major misunderstanding and Lemmy is pretty much the only reddit alternative out here where I can try asking another question. My attempt to appeal has failed on 3 Lemmy social sites - even after I tried notifying the mods on the third Lemmy server site before making the post, so I need your help now!
I felt after Inside Edition uploaded that blurred 9yo girl video… I thought to myself “That’s the last straw!” Someone needs to protest these absurd censorship laws that they apply to the female human!
Why can males show most of their body but females can’t? - In most cases that is? Whatever happened to "Free The Nipple"?
Children should have the same… rights to do things as any adult! It’s about possessing the knowledge capacity and I.Q level to safely execute this action. E.G, on those “Family Day” episodes of The Price is Right and Let’s Make a Deal; those kids made smart choices when picking the correct numbers to items to win a prize.
I’m not joking around here! This type of treatment towards the female human needs to stop - this includes race and age. - It’s like racist people, but in age form.
Does it look like I’m laughing for fun? Of course not! Since no one else is protesting this, and YouTube has a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post on even random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I have to take more drastic measures to protest by stepping up to the plate and shouting out “Can’t we all be equal in terms of a huge variety of traits?” Yeah, the last thing I need is a vein-bleeding broken-record robot impeding or hindering my ability to seek answers to a question!
We need to learn to appreciate or accept how the female body appears regardless of race and age!
Stop trying to blame it all on me! None of the stuff in the vids posted, is that. If it was, Inside Edition would be the guilty party, and Youtube for not having already deleted them. If it doesn’t violate Youtube’s TOS, it should be fine to post anywhere. If there was even a hint of impropriety to it, at the minimum the vid would have been age restricted.
No one would answer! Not even Inside Edition themselves were willing to offer an answer when I even found their email address, the sites dedicated to helping those in mental, suicidal, or emotional distress (those forum sites even PERMA-banned me for "spam" - that's right, SPAM! (Even though there was absolutely no mention of a permanent ban or rule about "spam" in their forum guidelines!) Is that the definition of "spam" when I make a bad thread only once?! And when I try to appeal the ban, the same message "please contact the administrator if it was done in error" is blocking my ability to click the contact button! Or sometimes it's a blank white page with that message in the top left corner of the window! - Which adds more insult to injury, because I can't click anything as all the buttons have disappeared! That means I can't log out of that site either!), OR the adult video forums that support uncensored nudity images would accept that video link URL let alone the entire topic itself! So I really am at a loss for thoughts and words on what I just experienced! Heck, I even tried the professional therapists of talkingforchange.ca But even they too were too reluctant to talk as they claim my post regarding the censorship of women is not for their platform and they disconnected the chat 2 seconds after their last reply to me. And I highly doubt that ANY site will allow me to illustrate with a picture of the Napalm Girl (Phan Thi Kim Phuc) when she was 9, certain pictures of Pampers diaper boxes (why do you think they (Pampers, Huggies, etc.) even allow a pic of a topless little boy or girl to be plastered on a diaper box we see in grocery stores/supermarkets everyday?), Leela when she was an infant in the episode Leela's Homeworld, or even Belgium's famous kids: Manneken Pis/Jeanneke Pis. That, combined with YouTube having a flawed comment moderating system hindering my ability to post comments on certain-to-random videos (I.E, "ghosting"), I'm forced to take more drastic measures to get my messages across. All this combined, ~I'VE NEVER FELT SO SHUNNED FROM THE INTERNET IN ALL MY LIFE!~
But here's a strange catch: sometimes on some sites, Napalm Girl is censored, other sites she isn't. So I felt that I need to protest this. It seems everyone is too chicken to even start this subject! Don't these numbskulls know not to judge a book by it's cover?! This is where I ask myself "NOW WHAT?!". This can't be one of those "exceptional" cases where they say "suicide never solves anything" doesn't apply to these types of situations. In other words, all hope for resolving these types of situations really is lost. I really do feel left in the dark on both the subject of sound effects and nudity!
Once more, I'm not being a ped, I'm protesting all these absurd censorship rules and regulations that revolve around the female human - regardless of race and age - after what Inside Edition posted. Watch the videos I found again for clarification. In other words, ~the inconsistencies of female human censorship~.
Can you really - you know, hurl insults at Inside Edition or blast them for what they did? It was their idea to publicly publish the footage. Just like how that one photographer made the choice to publicly publish footage of the Napalm Girl when she was 9 and completely nude. Therefore, it should be ok to share this footage anywhere.
But some areas censored Napalm Girl's nipples, but others did not - excluding her groin. Then there's the diaper boxes I found in any supermarket. And finally... Surprise surprise: typical women being scolded by other people for wearing something "inappropriate" or "showing too much of their body". I look around and since no one else is protesting about this, I might as well do it! After all, someone's gotta step up to the plate to hit that ball! I will not sit idling by the sidelines and continue to watch the female human get treated/censored like this! I will stand up, step up, and speak out towards these absurd reactions, rules, and regulations that revolve around the appearance and censorship of the female body! What about the famous Jeanneke Pis in Belgium? Do you think she along with other nude statues are trying to promote pedophilia?

I have talked about dealing and coping with infidelity in my personal life multiple times, but there has been a new development.
I found an old micro sd card of mine. Last used early February 2022. It had some of my music but it also had a TON of old ex gf pics and messages, screen shots and recordings...a lot of homemade porn. I of course looked at them. Still think she's beautiful, but I felt nothing for the pictures... She's just some girl to me now.
Apparently, It was part of a failed Samsung switch thing that I tried to do back in the beginning of '22. Completely forgot I moved that file to the SD card. Had a bunch of old voice notes she had sent to me back in like 2021-22... I just listen and laugh to myself. Like I really went from being your best friend, being your lover, the person you wanted by your side...to a damn stranger. I listened and I just feel like it's all bullshit. How could you profess your love to somebody repeatedly for years and turn around and at least emotionally cheat eith a coworker??? Just makes 0 goddamn sense.
I said all that to say, Almost four months out, I think I'm finally moving on. For real this time. I know In the past had I found all of that, I would've either A. broke down crying or B. tried to get in contact with her again... No dice this time.

hello all,
i will give more context later in the post, but for people who don't want to read all of that mess: what do you do about a pwBPD trying to break up your relationships/friendships because you "don't pay attention enough to them anymore"? my partner already recognizes the abuse so there's not really a risk of me getting broken up with, but i'm worried about the pwBPD reaching out to our mutual friends. i'm mostly afraid that our mutual friends are going to think i'm trying to control the narrative or cover something up or anything weird like that? which is kind of ironic because it's what she's doing already, i just don't want to be forced to get on her level lol. at this point im so done with this pwBPD i don't care what they think of me, just would really like to keep my other friends.
i'm thinking about just asking my friends something like: "hey if this friend (pwBPD) messages you trying to talk badly about me or my partner, can you let me know so i can talk to her some more? it's something we're trying to handle privately between us 3 but unfortunately we found out she's already talking about us behind our backs to other people so we would really appreciate it if you ignored it for now if it comes up. i'm so sorry about any stress this might cause you, please let me know if you want to talk more about it" or something along those lines. i don't want to give them too much information or anything out of respect of everyone's time and privacy but i wonder if giving more details would help? is this a good start or would you guys recommend saying something else?
more details, you don't really have to read past this point but it helps for background information & gets into detail of the abusive behaviors:
it's just such a huge mess i just wish i never met this person. she's trying to get my partner kicked out of their housing situation already, and turning their other school friends against them to the point where my partner might have to move back in with their parents. she was originally introduced to me by my partner and they had been best friends for a really long while so they cry to my partner every day like "how can you be dating someone that hates your best friend", demanding my partner come home from doing stuff with me to 'help' her with the stupidest stuff like going to a routine doctor visit (??) or fixing her laptop, etc. and she will throw fits and say stuff like "friends sometimes just have to do things they don't want to help their friends or even just make them happy for a little while" when all this person does is scream at my partner at this point. and then when i try to talk to her too so she leaves my partner alone (we were never really too close to start with) she just brings up our relationship and says stupid things like "so how's *that* working out for you" or asking really weird invasive sexual questions? it's part of the reason i'm scared to talk about it with friends - i'm worried if they ask me for proof of what this person is doing i'll have to show them all the awkward texts of her being weirdly sexual and i don't want my friends thinking about what me and my partner do in private haha 😅 it's almost like she o*nly *spews sexual-related abuse over text and then keeps the rest in-person or over the phone so we don't have any proof against her that wouldn't be extremely awkward. it's really sickening to me how quickly she turned on us when she has been stable / on medication / in therapy for so long. i almost wonder if she was interested in one or both of us romantically/sexually or something and us deciding to date put her over the edge... she seems really fixated on me specifically despite never making any real effort to talk to me 🤷‍♂️ besides occasionally sending me tiktoks, but she sends them to me on the tiktok app... which she knows i have had uninstalled for almost a year now? really confusing and frustrating person, she will also try to bait people into talking to her through vague facebook statuses and typical passive aggressive stuff like that, but never outright ask anyone besides my partner (her 'best friend') to hang out with her because she thinks everyone else hates her 🙄 i didn't hate her at first, but now it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy for her
my partner originally tried to reassure me that she wouldn't do anything like this but she's clearly already started, so we're trying to figure out what to do and i figured it would be best to ask here. thank you guys (sorry for formatting / english too, and how this got a little rant-y)

Find the current Daily Discussion* March Prompt Challenge

*It seems like this link doesn't work on all platforms. One of the mods will usually come by and add a link to the current DD in the comments.
Welcome to our new weekly thread, Brainstorming Bureau! This is an idea we've trialled previously and, based on feedback and observation, it feels like something the sub has been crying out for, and we're hoping as the weeks go by it'll turn into a lively, community-oriented way to cap off the weekend. We'd love to hear your feedback and suggestions on how to make the best of this idea as we're trialling it, so feel free to reach out via modmail if you have any ideas. And without further ado...
What's this about?
Do you have an issue that's too specific to your own fic to make a post about, but too small to seek out a long-term beta or writing partner for? Well, you've come to the right place!
This is where you can drop those plot points you're stuck on ("How would this scenario play out realistically? What should happen next?"), workshop your worldbuilding and concepts ("What should I name this character? What power should I give them? Which fandom would work well as a crossover with this other fandom?"), or get a second opinion on an approach to character development ("Is this a good central conflict? What would have to happen to make a character realise this?"). It's your space to talk through any issue that can't be solved through more generalised writing advice.
How to play:
To participate, comment with any aspect of your fic you've been mulling over or hitting a wall with. Other users will then respond with suggestions and questions to help you get to where you need to be. No idea is too big or too small, provided your comment fits within the parameters below. Feel free to be as fandom blind or specific as you like!
Rules:

• Please state your fandom at the top of your comment, along with any common and pertinent content warnings
• NSFW text should be placed behind a spoiler tag or linked to, as per site content restrictions
• Summarise the issue you'd like feedback on in 500 words or less. More information may be given in follow-up comments if requested
• Links to polls or to any previous installments of the fic will be permitted for context
• Please specify in your comment what level of critical feedback you're open to
• When responding to someone's ideas, please keep your feedback constructive and keep their specified level of criticism in mind. If their premise is not to your taste, please choose another
• If you make a submission to this thread, much like the other weekly events, please comment on at least one other user's request with the best suggestions you have

Have fun! And remember, all suggestions are just that and are to be taken with a grain of salt; we're here to help and consider our works from angles we haven't before.

Me ( 20F ) and my boyfriend (22M) got ready to go camping to relax and just take our minds off stress and daily routine, my stepfather (45) was alone at home as my mother is in the hospital. We didn't want to leave him alone so we took him to come along with us to relax, everything was amazing, we cooked food, sang, went swimming and then my sister ( 27) joined us with her soon to be husband. Before everything happened, I talked with my stepfather about credits and so about my dream to have camera for taking pictures also have driver licence that I was ready to get once I earn more money. My stepfather has some drinking problems, when he starts, he doesn't know when to finish, so continuously he got slightly dizzy from alcohol meanwhile nobody else drank, fast forward time, he went somewhere and came back with 400 euros first, I won't lie, it took me by surprise and I didn't knew how to act, I didn't want to take money from him as I know how hard it is to earn it, but he insisted, so I did. Fast forward more time, he gave me 200 euros more, I didn't accept those but he threw them on the ground so I picked em up from the ground. Next day, I called my mom to discuss the issue and have her opinion and telling that I wanna give the money back, she otherwise told me to keep the money ( it's a lot of money and genuinely it would help me a lot, but I was also feeling bad about it) so with some reassurance from her, I accepted it. Next thing I know my sister is texting me about it and telling me how disgusting I acted for taking them and how I'm using them for money and I want everything to put on a plate for me.( some history, she used to take money from him, get him drunk on purpose and then talk about it, in the end, she'd get money from him) I've never had a thought about using him, nor my mom, I earn my own money, I never even ask them for money. I feel like shit, because she tried moralizing to me about the incident, and her with my other sister with their so talked about this behind my back. I was planning to give money back to my mom today anyways, but am I the AH?

This situation has been going on for quite a while and I need people opinions about it. (I’m sorry for my poor English).
Me and my bestfriend have known each other for almost 5 years. He was the first person I have ever felt a real connection with in all my life and it’s thanks to him that I feel like I’m alive. We spent a lot of time together in school, playing video games and also going outside. We also got to a point in our friendship where we both opened up about our problems. It was in this occasion that I started to feel that something was off. After some things he said about friendships in general (which I won’t talk about in this post firstly out of respect, secondly cause it would make it too long) I had the impression that he was more connected with a friend we have in common than with me. At the moment I thought that was totally fine, but later on I realised how unfair it was. He was my brother, my priority in life, my bestfriend above all, even my family, and for him I was nothing more than a second choice. I was second place to someone who didn’t even care about him the way I did and more than that put other people above him. I didn’t talk about it with him though as I didn’t wanna be seen as the one trying to sabotage their friendship despite the fact that everything I had to say was real. Fast forward a year and the situation is still the same. We are still bestfriends and as all young people do we start to dream about things we could do in the upcoming summer. All ideas and even promises that were broken. During summer we ended up seeing each other only 4-5 times (counting some birthdays that were celebrated in those months) despite the fact I always reached out to him and asked him to hang out, to which he always answered ‘no’ or found stupid excuses becoming dryer and dryer at every text. I ended up rotting in bed for most of the season, even though we told each other we would have done lots of things. Later on I asked him about why he seemed to be wanting to avoid me, maybe he was having some problems in private so I asked. He said that everything was okay and that we had hang out already too much, but that he would make an effort to hang out more. Blinded by the love (platonic love) I felt for him I excused him once again. However that was a mistake. In the following months (up until December) I still tried to create occasions to see each other. To all my questions he always replied no. At this time I started to realize that maybe he was a bad friend after all. He never asked about my day (I did), he didn’t read most of my texts, he always admitted to not care about what I was talking about (I thought he was joking but maybe he wasn’t), he was always dry, he never reached out first, he never made time for me. All things that I did to him because I loved him (platonically). I decided once again to talk about it with him. I specified how I felt about everything, how I didn’t feel appreciated and how I was always comprehensive about the situations. At first he was angry. He replied he was sick of being seen as ‘the bad friend’. Then he calmed down and said that he was sorry I felt that way, that he would try to reach out first and make time for me and that he still considered me as his bestfriend and also loved me. To cut it short. It’s been 5 months since that conversation and the one to still start the conversation, the one still trying to see each other, the one still putting effort into the friendship was me. All his effort went to that other ‘friend’ we have in common (who I get bad vibes from). That’s when I realised I was watering a dead plant. So, AITA for ghosting my ‘bestfriend’?

I 27f was going to sign a lease with my friend 24f I'll refer to as x. I was looking forward to the move but x suggested living with a 3rd to make the rent cheaper. So we found a 3 bdrm apartment which would have been fine. We all put our applications in and got accepted to move and I was ready to go. I am going away for a few weeks in a few days and was going to take the weekend to pack. Last minute, our 3rd roommate backed out and it made me second guess everything. It reminded me how unstable living with roommates can be and although I trust my friend I needed to get everything situated by Monday (this happened saturday) because I am leaving to go to another country without service and I would have to move out the day after I come back.
When the 3rd roommate backed out, she introduced us to another girl I wasn't excited to live with but x tried to convince me it would be fine. The whole reason I stopped living with people was because it can feel like I'm on the hook for others decisions financially and I don't like that feeling. So this experience reminded me of how insecure it can be to live with others and the last minute change of plans. (For context my last apartment situation I lived with 3 people and 1 totally left me financially holding the bag when he couldn't pay) She was all on board with the other person the 3rd roommate got as a replacement though and texted her to have her sign the lease but before anything got signed I basically texted my friend saying I'm not on board because if everything with the 3rd roommate and the chaos of it.
I feel like my friend is mad at me rn but I am hoping she will get over it eventually because I really value her friendship and worry I ruined everything by backing out like that. Am I the asshole?

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