**
I'm (34M) feeling conflicted and need some perspective. I've been battling depression for a while now, and it's been especially tough since our parents passed away. My sister (28F) has been incredible, stepping up to help both me and my older brother, Joe (21M), who is autistic and relies heavily on a strict routine to manage his day-to-day life.
Yesterday, I was having a particularly rough day emotionally and felt the need to get out and just drive somewhere to clear my head. I thought it would help to have my sister with me for support, so I called her and asked if she could join me right away.
She explained that it was time to start the evening routine with Joe—a routine that is critical for him as disruptions can cause him significant stress and anxiety, which can last for days. She suggested we could go for a drive either after Joe was settled for the night or the next morning. I felt hurt and dismissed, ended up snapping at her, and hung up the phone.
Looking back, I know my sister is doing her best managing a tough situation, balancing Joe's needs and trying to support me through my depression. I can't help but feel like a jerk for reacting the way I did. AITA for getting upset over this?

Hello Traders,
I hope everyone is settling in well to our new community here at ApexTraderFunding2024! For our second post, I wanted to dive into some practical tips and strategies to help you successfully pass your Apex Trader Funding evaluation. Whether you're new to trading or an experienced trader, these insights can help you navigate the evaluation process more effectively.

1. Understand the Rules and Requirements

• Know the Criteria: Familiarise yourself with the evaluation criteria, including profit targets, drawdown limits, and trading rules.
• Stay Informed: Regularly review the guidelines and any updates to ensure you are compliant.

2. Develop a Solid Trading Plan

• Set Goals: Define your profit targets and risk management strategies.
• Consistency is Key: Stick to your plan and avoid impulsive trades.

3. Manage Risk Effectively

• Use Stop-Loss Orders: Protect your capital by setting stop-loss orders for each trade.
• Position Sizing: Keep your position sizes appropriate to avoid large drawdowns.

4. Practice Discipline and Patience

• Wait for Setups: Be patient and wait for high-probability trade setups.
• Avoid Overtrading: Quality over quantity – focus on making well-thought-out trades rather than many trades.

5. Keep a Trading Journal

• Track Your Trades: Record the details of each trade, including the rationale, outcome, and any lessons learned.
• Analyse and Improve: Regularly review your journal to identify patterns and areas for improvement.

6. Use the Right Tools

• Trading Platforms: Make sure you are comfortable with the trading platform provided by Apex Trader Funding.
• Analysis Tools: Utilise technical and fundamental analysis tools to inform your trading decisions.

7. Stay Mentally Strong

• Emotional Control: Trading can be stressful. Maintain emotional control to make rational decisions.
• Healthy Routine: Ensure you have a balanced routine to avoid burnout.

Community Support

Don't forget, you're not alone in this journey. Share your experiences, ask questions, and seek advice from fellow traders in our community. Supporting each other can make a big difference in our collective success.
For those who haven't signed up yet, you can start your journey with Apex Trader Funding here: Join Apex Trader Funding.
Happy Trading!

I am suffering from health anxiety and i was stressed in the last 2 Months with a problem and in the last days i am keeping having some strange symtomps in my head. I feel like a heat wave coming , or like my brain is fludded with someting. It last only a second and my chest and hand get some tingling sensation after that, and of course my heart starts beating rapidly in panic.I was getting them especially when trying to sleep but today i felt them also in the daytime. .And this happens over and over till i manage to fall asleep. Did someone had something like this?

My gregmat subscription is ending soon and I am done with the Gre. I was wondering if there are any videos that everyone found really helpful on the gregmat site. I wanted to watch them before I lose access. I means videos on topics such as burnout, general time management or even stress management that I am sure will be useful to me even when I stop studying for the gre.

I had a bad day yesterday. The managers were all rolling their eyes at me whenever I asked them a question. I know at this place I’m not supposed to ask questions too much since I’ve been here long enough. My trainer showed me that.
One of the servers that became a busier messaged me last night, and I didn’t see it until now. But they said, “call me. I don’t mean to scare you but look for another job ASAP!!! It’s not worth it working for this place!!!”
I feel like I’m an average joe and I had a stressful day and I don’t know how I could’ve freaked out so much that I made people talk and now they don’t want to work with me anymore. She hasn’t responded to my text yet.
I feel really sad about it. I don’t know if I’m the problem or they are.

I'm in a work environment where if you bring up one issue to your immediate supervisor, everyone and the whole management knows about it the next day.
So I've been in my new job for 2 months. The job is not right for me, I can't connect well with my team, I feel like I'm being micromanaged and it's a demanding and high-stress job. As time goes by, I've started getting headaches and crying just thinking about work. It's to the point where I see a car approaching me and wish it would just knock me over. I can't leave the job either because my contract states that I need to work here for 2 years. I'm also likely ADHD unmedicated and those who know ADHD knows how much more of a struggle life is because of it.
So a particular incident happened a few weeks ago where I broke down at work. It was brought up to my immediate supervisor and then subsequently to a higher supervisor. Before I knew it, I was talking to the higher supervisor and he was offering me advice and said that if this job isn't suited for me then I can speak to them and they might be able to able to assign me to a different job.
Until now, I still don't know whether to take up that offer. I don't know whether it's my ego stopping me or because I know completing my 2 years here would open up good prospects for a future career. Although I don't even know whether I want THAT future career since it will just be another high stress job. At this point, I don't know what I want anymore, to be honest.
A few weeks go by, I get increasingly stressed and unhappy with work. I was particularly unhappy with a coworker and I brought it up to my immediate supervisor. That caused a bit of a fallout between me and that coworker. And I guess news spread upwards and now an even higher supervisor wants to have a talk with me. I'm scheduled to talk to them tomorrow. I don't know what exactly they will ask. How much of my struggles with work should I reveal to them?

32M in the UK. After tonight I’m taking a month’s break away from all social media because I’m pretty sure my way of thinking and self-perception has been massively skewed by instagram, tiktok, YouTube “red pill” male communities etc. for the first time in my life I feel like I’m gonna end up depressed and I need to change that.
Anyway I want to gather some direct, brutally honest feedback from women around my age, because in today’s world I’m not sure if I’m considered “enough” for a good woman. If you could take the time to critique me I’d really appreciate it. Warts and all.

• I used to work in management for a large company earning £40k rising to 50k/yr between ages 23 and 30. I left the job at 30 because I can’t hack corporate BS and assholes. I since started a 24k/yr job in civil service with 0 stress, which I’m still in.
  
• I live in a large 2 bed flat with private garden in a nice area. Because I’ve always been good with money and earned a good wage, with no kids, I managed to get to a position where I only have £30k left on my mortgage. (Flat was 200k). I have no other debt and my car is fully paid off.
  
• I feel self conscious about my small salary (not a euphemism!) but because of my small mortgage and no other debts I can have a pretty comfortable lifestyle on it.
  
• I take care of myself physically and I’m fairly muscular and fit. Though I’m only 5’9 so I guess minus points there.
  
• Although I like the idea of earning more money, I don’t feel the need to go out of my way to invite more stress into my life unnecessarily. I guess this would come across as lack of ambition to some women and not very attractive. Although, I do have around ~40k invested in collectibles which I will be selling off over the next 5 years or so as they increase in value, hopefully to around 100k or so.
  
• I’m very relaxed and don’t like confrontation, I find f2f communication easy and I think I’m pretty agreeable and easy to talk to. I’ve had long term relationships before that have always ended amicably, but my last one was 4 years ago. Though I don’t see myself this way, I’ve been told I’m fairly attractive, but certainly no Chris hemsworth or Ryan gosling. Maybe slightly above average. I don’t have any weird quirks and I’m pretty vanilla, not particularly exciting though I do wanna buy a motorbike next year. I get enjoyment from simple things like gardening, sitting outside with a coffee and a nice walk, as well as fitness. I’m not interested in partying or going “out out”. I’m also good at diy!
  
• basically, with how successful more and more guys are becoming at younger and younger ages, I feel like I’m becoming a lower and lower value man. Social media exposes women to men of much better substance than me and I’m just concerned that I’m pretty bottom of the barrel and won’t be enough for a good woman to want to stick around. What should I do better?
  

Hello everyone
I am super stressed out from this matter and I would appreciate any feedback or advice, I’ll try to be as brief but informative as possible.
I was enrolled in two online courses at a community college that I have taken classes at for over 8 years, I took a few gen eds in high school.
It came to my attention that I only needed one of the two courses as a pre requisite for the program I got into, so I immediately went to my academic advisor to drop/withdraw me from the course, so I don’t need to pay an additional $950, that I can’t really afford and don’t want to take a loan out for.
He would ignore my phone calls and respond a week later by email, and inform me that it was too late to withdraw for a full refund and that I could withdraw and then submit a form to his manager explaining my situation, I had an A in the course and only wish to be withdrawn from the course just as long as I don’t need to pay for it. I was in the class for 2.5 weeks.
I was told I would get a decision/reply within 30 days, it’s been 3 months and I have not received a reply and have followed multiple times.
What are my options here? My advisor was almost impossible to get in contact with and overall this has been a stressful situation because I need to take AP2 now and they won’t let me register for it if I still have a hold.
Keep in mind, this was for a fully online class and I had zero contact with the professor nor have I stepped foot on campus, and my advisor was not easy to communicate with.
I would appreciate any advice!

Relationship length: 2,5 Years Gender: Male (me), Female
After my first breakup and the endless pain it caused, I thought I could handle anything. A few years back, I even received a diagnosis for ulcerative colitis and managed to cope with the diagnosis and the ongoing suffering. After five years, I opened my heart to another woman.
Two years later, it happened. She met a guy online. I didn't think much of it because men and women can be friends (though it's tough, but possible). He even had a girlfriend, so I wasn't overly worried. After meeting him a few times, she went on a university trip to Switzerland and came back a changed person. She wanted to spend the night at her mom’s, which was fine by me. She said she'd text me when she got there—it’s a 30-minute trip. Five hours later, she suddenly returned home. I was terrified, thinking she had died or something else horrible had happened. When she got home, she said she'd been out drinking with a friend, and we went to sleep because I was too exhausted to discuss anything. The next day, I demanded to see her phone because I didn't believe her (after she didn’t even notify me about her plans), but she refused. Long story short, she had been with Julian, the guy from the cinema. They had gone to watch the northern lights and had some drinks. I pressed her, unable to understand how she could keep this from me. Since she struggles with emotional stress, she confessed that she had kissed my best friend a few months back. After further arguing, she admitted it happened twice more, once at our place.
I told her straight away that we could get through this, and we discussed why it happened. She hadn't felt emotionally secure with me, and I see that now. Yes, it wasn't my fault she strayed, but I hadn't treated her as well as she treated me for the longest time. I wasn't terrible, but I hadn't made her my top priority, and she felt it. She had told me several times how important it was, but she never conveyed just how serious the situation was. We decided to try again, and she agreed to stop seeing Julian for some time (she didn't want to stop texting him because she finds it incredibly hard to make friends and didn’t want to lose that—she said she'd stop if she felt something romantic could happen).
Why didn't I treat her better? I can't tell you. Maybe my illnesses stressed me out! Maybe it was university, which has never stressed me so much, that kept me from paying enough attention to my girlfriend. I just didn't realize how serious it was.
A few days ago, my girlfriend decided to take a break from me to clear her thoughts and find out if she can still love me.
And then, as if things couldn't get worse: in two days, she was supposed to start a month-long break, and just now, she wrote to me that Julian's girlfriend had broken up with him, just as I had predicted.
My disease has flared up again due to stress, and it's the most important university semester of my life, but I can't go on because I JUST CAN'T ANYMORE.
Perfectly timed with our break starting, Julian's girlfriend broke up with him. I don't know what to do with myself. I love my girlfriend, even after everything, and I don't want to lose her. But after everything, especially this last part, I feel like I know where this is going. I just can't deal with it. I can't watch TV shows, I can't eat, and most of the time, I can't even cry. The only thing keeping me going is the hope that nothing happens with Julian this month and she comes back to me, so I can show her that she is my number one priority (alongside my own well-being). And I've never meant anything so seriously.
I don't know what to do with myself. I want to tell her to cut off contact with Julian, but she won't; I want to tell her to stay with me, but she won’t. And when I express my fear that she might develop feelings for Julian during the break, she tells me she can't imagine that happening.
I don't know what to do anymore. Thank you for reading this far. Writing is the only thing I can do right now.
I feel like I barely exist these days, especially now. I’ve thought about hurting myself, but I won’t. I know I won't end my life, and I won't harm myself. I can't imagine how terrible the next months will be, but I have to survive somehow, even though I feel I may never be happy again.
So... I don't know what I'm expecting from this... Advice? I Quess. I can't imagine anyone can help. I still have to try everything.
**TL;DR;** : My girlfriend cheated, i want to fix it, but everything gets worse and worse

To preface this, I’m 17 and I have terrible social anxiety/depression, while my sister is 18(about to be 19) and generally fine. After every school day I’m so incredibly tired and stressed I can’t do my homework. Doing anything related to school stresses me out beyond belief and I get distracted. Even with really easy things that would make my life easier. Like revising and turning in something I’ve already done. My mother just had a long conversation with my sister and I about how we do nothing. It’s Sunday and we’ve slept the whole weekend. She says she doesn’t want us missing out on memories and that we don’t take advantage of the things we can do. Which I get.. but we’re not rich and I go back and forth between my parent’s apartments every Friday. I’m not permanently anywhere. That isn’t an excuse but it does make things harder. There’s things I want to do but there’s so many steps and making plans every weekend stresses the people around me out. If I ask my dad or mom’s boyfriend for a ride to a store it won’t get done till a different day/week and they’ll sigh and act like I’m taking advantage of them. I have no friends, what would I go out and do without my family? If I ever ask for something I feel incredibly bad because we don’t have money and I’m not smart or useful. I have terrible grades and I sleep and cry all the time. What gives me the right to ask for something fun? I know I need to grow up and get a job soon, that’s all they ever talk about, but I feel like I need to work on so many other things as well. I need to get a better diet because I don’t eat or overeat, I need to learn to drive, I need to participate in school and make friends, I need to make cleaning myself not something I do obsessively everyday out of fear but a habit to make myself feel healthy, I need to get control over my depression and anxiety before it controls my whole life, I need to look for places to live, I need to get off my phone, I need to do so much but I feel constantly overwhelmed. In the end I end up doing nothing.
TL;DR I am stuck in a constant cycle of feeling overwhelmed and being too depressed to do anything. I fear that I’ll never break this cycle and that it’ll plague me throughout my adult life until I’m a sour old lady who blames everything on the world. Fear tactics just make me more depressed. I want to get a job but I’m already failing half my classes and I am so mentally and physically tired I have no Idea how I’d manage a job after school. I think a job would be way less stressful than school though. How do I change my life before I get stuck like this as an adult?

My (35M) wife (36F) and I are halfway towards our FIRE number. We are also planning on having kids in the near future. My wife wants to work about a year after they are born and then take time off until they are in kindergarten (5yr old) and then go back to work another ~5 years. She works as a management consultant now and will start an LLC and do contract work during her break in order to not have a resume gap. I was planning on retiring in 5 years or so and just managing our investments, reading, watching sports, and playing poker. Eventually I may go back to do something less stressful or more fulfilling like government/politics/non-profit/volunteering/joining boards. Are there any tools that help you plan for FIRE that can incorporate going back to work?

“The Impact of Relocating ESL Services”
A Community in Distress In a quiet corner of Pittsburgh, the borough of Brentwood, a storm is brewing over a decision that could disrupt the lives of many young students and their families. The School District of Borough of Brentwood School Board has recently announced the transfer of elementary English as a Second Language (ESL) services to Moore Elementary starting in the 2024-2025 school year. This decision, though perhaps intended to streamline resources, overlooks the profound impact it will have on the community it is meant to serve. For many families, the announcement has brought a wave of anxiety and uncertainty.
Consider the story of Maria and her two children, Diego and Sofia. (Names/identifying info) have been changed to protect identities. Diego, who is in the third grade, and Sofia, a kindergartner, both attend the same school and rely heavily on the ESL program to bridge the language gap they face in their new home. This program has been a lifeline, helping them navigate not only their academic challenges but also their integration into a new cultural environment. The transfer of ESL services means that Diego and Sofia will not only have to adjust to a new school but could also be separated, as Sofia might remain at their current school while Diego moves to Moore Elementary. The logistical nightmare of managing drop-offs and pick-ups at two different schools is daunting for Maria, who relies on public transportation and works a demanding job. Moreover, the commute to Moore Elementary will involve traversing over a mile on foot through a neighborhood with steep hills, a journey that is particularly perilous in Pittsburgh's harsh winters. This change poses significant safety concerns for young children, some of whom are already dealing with the stress of adapting to a new language and culture. Financial considerations add another layer of complexity to this issue. In June 2023, the district reported a $2.1 million balance, allocating $600,000 to technology upgrades and transferring $1.5 million to the Special Fund Reserve. This raises a critical question: Why can’t some of these funds be redirected to support the transportation and staffing needs for ESL services within the current schools? Are we valuing technological advancements over the well-being and stability of our children? The decision also raises ethical and legal concerns. The Supreme Court case Lau v. Nichols (1974) established that providing identical educational facilities and materials does not equate to equal treatment if it fails to meet the specific needs of language minority students. By relocating ESL services, the district may inadvertently create additional barriers for these students, compromising their right to a meaningful education as guaranteed by this landmark ruling.
This situation is not just about logistics or finances; it’s about the community’s values and priorities. Separating ESL students from their peers and siblings sends a troubling message about inclusivity and equality. It risks marginalizing a vulnerable segment of our student population and undermines our commitment to providing every child with the support they need to succeed. The community calls on the School Board to reconsider this decision. There must be alternative solutions that do not compromise the well-being of our students. Reallocating existing funds to hire additional qualified staff or investing in training for current staff could be viable options. Our children deserve better, and we have the means to provide it.
In one parent’s words, "This isn't just about moving to a different school. It's about the message we are sending to our children about their worth and our commitment to their future."
As the community rallies together, the hope is that the School Board will listen and take action that reflects the true values of Pittsburgh—supporting and nurturing all its students, regardless of their language or background.
Parents have started a campaign to collect signatures to oppose this decision. The school board meets again on Monday, May 20, 2024 where parents will be presenting the petition opposing this problematic, short-sighted decision.

My (35M) wife (36F) and I are halfway towards our FIRE number. We are also planning on having kids in the near future. My wife wants to work about a year after they are born and then take time off until they are in kindergarten (5yr old) and then go back to work another ~5 years. She works as a management consultant now and will start an LLC and do contract work during her break in order to not have a resume gap. I was planning on retiring in 5 years or so and just managing our investments, reading, watching sports, and playing poker. Eventually I may go back to do something less stressful or more fulfilling like government/politics/non-profit/volunteering/joining boards. Are there any tools that help you plan for FIRE that can incorporate going back to work?

ℹ️ For Java (PC/MAC/Linux) players → mc.peacefulvanilla.club [no port]
ℹ️ For Bedrock (PE/Console) players → bedrock.peacefulvanilla.club [port 19132] or add " Nifty Nemesis " as a friend and connect to the server through the multiplayer friends tab, in case neither method works have a look here
ℹ️ Website → www.peacefulvanilla.club
ℹ️ Web maps → www.peacefulvanilla.club/maps
Enjoy a peaceful vanilla experience, with no grief, no pay to win ranks and no PvP outside arenas. Play like you do on single player, but with friends! With no worries. LGBTQ+ Friendly Minecraft Server. The server is based on Java Edition but you can play with Bedrock Edition too! This means you can play with MCPE (Pocket Editon) on iOS and Android smartphones. Of course, you can (and should) play also with the good old Java Edition.Peaceful Vanilla Club is a semi-vanilla virtual reality (VR) friendly server. We officially support the Vivecraft VR mod for Minecraft Java Edition, but the official Minecraft VR version for Oculus works very well too!
✅ No Fast Travel: Wander and Explore!
Say goodbye to teleportation on this semi-vanilla server. No /tp, /tpa, or /warp to shortcut your journey. Discover new and exciting ways to traverse the map, from subways and iceways to railways. Teleportation is off the table, enhancing the exploration experience and preserving the essence of the game.
✅ A Peaceful Place to Unwind
While the server operates on normal/hard mode, it's designed as a tranquil sanctuary. Chill alone or with friends in this peaceful haven. Enjoy the serenity, unless you venture into predefined hard survival areas for an adventurous twist!
✅ A Nostalgic Journey
Relive the golden age of Minecraft on this nostalgic server. A portion of the map harks back to Beta 1.7.3, with darker nights as a nod to the past. Immerse yourself in the nostalgia, complete with a replica of the iconic pack.png. Experience the essence of Minecraft's earlier days.
✅ No PvP Outside Arenas
This is a stress-free server with PvP restricted to designated arenas. Admins define special areas with keep-inventory, ensuring a camper-free environment. Enjoy the game without worrying about unexpected PvP encounters.
✅ Quality of Life Enhancements
Maintaining the vanilla feel, this server incorporates significant improvements without compromising the original gameplay. Experience the best of both worlds with enhanced features that elevate your gaming experience.
✅ No Map Resets: Timeless Terrains
Since its inception in Summer 2019, the server's map remains untouched. Embrace the commitment to a map that evolves with time, providing a stable and continuous world without the need for resets.
✅ Land Claims: Protect Your Territory
Secure your land with a unique block. Claim your space and create a safe haven for your builds. Obtain your first claim block after 30 minutes of playtime, or purchase more at the spawn. Rent, sell, or buy claims to shape the world to your liking.
✅ Player-Managed Economy: Build Your Empire
Engage in a fully functional player-driven economic system. Establish your shop using villagers, rent and sell areas to fellow players. The server encourages entrepreneurial spirit and creative business endeavors.
✅ Playtime Ranks: Rise Through the Ranks
Your playtime matters on this server. Unlock rewards and permissions as you ascend through playtime ranks. The more you play, the higher you rank, adding a rewarding progression system to your Minecraft experience.
✅ Commands and Utilities: Enhancing Gameplay
Enjoy additional utilities to manage your gameplay, including pet management, random teleportation on first join, unstuck features, the ability to sit down, Death Chests, Decorative Heads and more. These command enhancements add convenience to your Minecraft adventures.
✅ Hard Survival Areas: Seek the Challenge
For those seeking a more extreme adventure, enter the Hard Survival Area — an area of severe difficulty. Test your survival skills in this challenging terrain that offers a heightened level of excitement and risk.

Hi everyone!
I'm insecure about my job the last few months and am looking for a new employer.
I got a proposal and wish for a honest opinion from you guys.
Data of new proposal is added between "[ ]"
1. PERSONALIA

• Age: 29
• Education: Prof Bachelor
• Work experience : 8
• Civil status: Married
• Dependent people/children: None

2. EMPLOYER PROFILE

• SectoIndustry: Electricity
• Amount of employees: ±400
• Multinational? Benelux

3. CONTRACT & CONDITIONS

• Current job title: Project Manager
• Seniority: 8
• Official hours/week : 40 [38]
• Average real hours/week incl. overtime: 40 [Dont know]
• Shiftwork or 9 to 5 (flexible?): 9 to 5 but flexible [9 to 5 but flexible]
• On-call duty: NO [No]
• Vacation days/year: 32 [ 45]

4. SALARY

• Gross salary/month: 3650 [4030]
• Net salary/month: 2300 [2550 estimated + yearly seniority]
• Netto compensation: 50 [0]
• Cabike/... or mobility budget: car: TCO 800 [No company car but mobility budget]
• 13th month (full? partial?): Full [Full]
• Meal vouchers: 7**/DAY [8/Day]**
• Ecocheques: 250/YEAR [250/Year]
• Group insurance: Yes [Yes]
• Other insurances: Hospitalization individual [Hospitalization also for wife and kids]
• Other benefits (bonuses, stocks options, ... ): CAO90 very low because we cant achieve a lot of KPI's [CAO90 but dont know if goals get achieved]

5. MOBILITY

• City/region of work: Flanders [Flanders]
• Distance home-work: 43km/35min [35km/35min]
• How do you commute? Company car [Need to buy a car]
• How is the travel home-work compensated: /
• Telework days/week: None (very strict policy) [2/3 a week]

6. OTHER

• How easily can you plan a day off: Pretty easy [Dont know]
• Is your job stressful? Yes [Dont know]
• Responsible for personnel (reports): ±10 [Dont know]

My partner has ME/CFS as caused by Long COVID and reactivated EBV.
It's been almost a year since they've been fighting CFS but things really took a turn around the start of the year where they were moderate/severe. They've been severe and fully bed-bound since early March, unable to get up to even use the restroom. I'm helping them with all of their basic functions, including feeding and helping them with bathroom functions.
They've had some better days but their baseline is very low, right now. For them, "better" means being in better spirits, a little less dizzy, and maybe able to talk for a short amount of time.
Emotional stress and hormonal cycles both lead to big crashes, so do what we can to manage these things, but both can be difficult to control. Especially when my partner has Major Depressive Disorder as well as PMDD.
We're doing what we can to help them, though it's mostly aggressive resting, but I was just wondering if others have had this experience of being this severe for months and if there's anything else besides rest/pacing that we can try or be mindful of.
They're on LDN and guanfacine. We just started them on duloxetine/Cymbalta (because they've used that for their depression in the past) and PRN Xanax, because their mental anguish is definitely playing a role in their crashes.
Just feeling stuck. I know there's no cure or silver bullet but it's discouraging how many people crash for days/weeks and then return to a reasonable baseline, and my partner seems to either get worse or just stay the same in this terrible state. We're having a tough weekend in our household, right now, and it's hard for us to "keep the faith" that we're going to get them out of this severe stage of CFS.

A few years ago I signed up for a bunch of FinTech investment apps which gave me some free shares after meeting certain criteria. Recently I have consolidated all my assets in Fidelity and I'm working on simplifying my portfolio.
My 401k, IRA, and HSA are all invest in total market mutual funds which is the only thing I plan on investing in from now on. The problem is I still own a few shares in over a dozen companies and I am wondering if I should just sell them.
They currently make-up a very small portion of my portfolio so I don't think it matters either way but I wanted to talk to some people about it before doing anything. I'm the first in my family to have any sort of financial stability so stuff like this stresses me out.
Here are the pros and cons I have come up with.
Pros of Selling:

• Simplifying My Portfolio. The main reason I want to sell them of is because owning nothing but mutual funds makes my portfolio easier to manage. The individual companies might complicate my tax returns and make my returns "nosier" due to their individual performance.
  
• Lock In Gains. Currently almost all of the stocks I own are up due to the excellent market performance, so if I was going to sell them I feel that this would be a good time. I'll make a few thousand dollars which I could put into my emergency fund or a mutual fund.
  
• Avoid Financial Complexities. I eventually want to do things like buy a house which I believe includes a thorough review of my finances. So in my mind owning only mutual funds will make such a review process simple and prevent possible issues for me in the future.
  

Cons of Selling:

• Missing Out On Growth. While it's possible the stocks will go down there is a chance they will go up and beat the market in the long run. As of right now they have all outpaced the market. I only own between 1-20 shares in each company so the gains would be small though.
  
• No More Dividends. The one thing I have enjoyed about owning these shares is getting a steady stream of dividends. They're small but consistent and since they're all long-term I pay no taxes on them which is great.
  
• Tax Headache. While I believe the sale of all these shares won't trigger any tax problems I worry since some of the companies are foreign (e.g. BABA) or in small-cap companies. I can list the companies if people think that information is relevant.
  

My conclusion is that it's best to just sell them and be done with it, but I would love to hear what people on here have to say.

I'm currently in a finance leadership role at a company with two distinct brands within our division. We have a division president who oversees both brands and focuses more attention on brand A and there is a division manager role that oversees brand B and reports to the division president. The division mananger role for brand B is currently vacant as the former person in that role was let go about 6 months ago (I speculate due to some of his own shortcomings but also due to the underperformance of that brand). My direct boss (the division president), recently retired and has been replaced by someone I highly respect and we have worked very well together since he started a couple of months ago. Last week my new boss approached me and directly asked why I haven’t considered applying for the vacant division manager position. He says I would be good fit for the role. Here are my thoughts and concerns:

1. Current Compensation vs. Promotion
   
   • I currently make very good money, and the promotion would only increase my pay about 20%. While significant, the raise isn’t a game-changer for me.
2. Job security
   
   • In my current role, I feel secure with performance metrics I can control. Conversely, the last two managers for this prospective position were fired in the span of 4 or 5 years. It feels like a big risk..
3. Division Performance
   
   • Brand B is currently struggling, mainly due to sales issues. We've had delays in projects, lower margins than forecasted due to market conditions, and corporate has recently mandated not to drop earnings forecasts, which impacts bonuses. It’s currently a stressful situation with a lot of pressure from corporate.
4. Future Opportunities
   
   • I’ve expressed interest in leading a division one day, but im in my early 30’s and with only 6 years in the industry, I’m not sure I’m ready. I don’t want to be overlooked for future opportunities if I don’t take this chance now.
5. Stress
   
6. I do feel like this role would cause me more stress… ironically I’d probably work less hours in the new role but it would be subject to more big decisions, worrying more often at home, etc.
   

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Hey fellow redditors..
First time posting here. Sorry if I miss any guidelines or so.
My weight has fluctuated all my life, two years before COVID hit, I managed to lose a significant amount of weight without dieting just by establishing a different lifestyle. I added lots of veggies, focussed on fiber especially and got into weightlifting and walking. It felt natural and unforced. I was happy with my body for the first time in three decades. COVID really messed with that, but I managed best I could and only fluctuated maybe 10 pounds, which I was OK with.
For two years I have had enourmous stress both at work and in my private life and I have gradually gained maybe 30/35 pounds and completely dropped out of my weight lifting routine. I still walk a lot and I have a physical job, I do at least 15000 steps a day without trying. But I have a tendency to stress eat and coupled with a massive chronic lack of sleep I have been over eating and not had any energy left for going to the gym.
I had a couple of social events coming up and I have nothing to wear except for stretchy clothes and work clothes. I ended up skipping a big social event not only for that reason but for the main reason I am posting here. I am deeply ashamed of gaining this weight and not being able to change my lifestyle to lose it naturally again. I have been trying to go back to the gym and started to be more aware of when I am stress eating and changing that. Still, I cannot get back to my routine of lifting weights for 2 hours three times a week like I used to. I feel exhausted all the time. I wake up tired and without energy. Whatever energy I have left, I use to at least have a bit of a social life, as my work is very demanding with long hours and weekends worked often.
I am so frustrated, I feel like I cannot win here. And I am so ashamed of how I look. I dread meeting people who have not seen me in a while. The weight loss is really noticeable and even though I am aware that my friends and family love me for me and probably do not care a bit how I look, I am still ashamed and I feel judged even though they probably don't.
I have tried being kind to myself and be aware of the reasons for the weight gain and how it will hopefully change when my work situation and sleep situation changes but right now I cannot help feeling so ashamed for letting that happen. I envy people who lose weight when they are stressed. How do I deal with this? Any of you have experience with this and can give some helpful advice?
Thanks for reading and pls forgive any guideline violations!

So to provide some context, I (28F) recently started a law firm with my mom, who is an attorney. I was working on my own business at the time, but when my mom’s paralegal up and left her right before Christmas, she needed help, plus I had experience starting a business and was previously in the legal field, so I agreed to come on as her legal assistant/business helpeetc. We agreed on a set weekly amount for pay, which wasn’t crazy high but solid and I felt like I could use the opportunity to help my mom build something lucrative after leaving her old firm (where she was severely monetarily taken advantage of, and is going to have to sue her old business partners for what they owe her + her partner investment at the old firm, but that’s a story for another day) The thing is, I was wary going into this my mom would not be able to financially keep our agreement, because she has big dreams and ideas but doesn’t always take the practical steps in terms of things like budgeting (the fights and struggles this has caused in my house between my parents my whole life and the financial issues we’ve experienced as a result have shown me she has no plans on changing this but I am also empathetic because she is crazy busy and my other siblings, one who is severely mentally ill and lives at home, take up an insane amount of time)
Now I want to hammer in that my mom is a good person, with a big heart. My dad is a good person too, which is why I feel this situation is so difficult for me to navigate. They have their issues and personally to me, seem to act like children in many ways in how conflicts are handled and how they emotionally react (my mom especially, she cares so much how people feel about her but doesn’t realize that her fuse is short and she will just yell and scream at everyone) They have not had an easy set of cards dealt to them in regards to all of us kids and the individual issues, and I have always had so much empathy for them. However, the older I’ve gotten and more I’ve experienced, the more I realize a lot of the issues we had growing up, whether it was financial or my siblings behavior and issues, probably could’ve been handled in a much healthier way which would’ve saved a lot of the pain experienced by continuing the cycles and behaviors that were causing the issues in the first place. My parents stayed married, but basically tolerated one another and never had a united front, were always talking bad about one another and could never agree on proper ways to fix what was happening, so it was a chaotic mess all the time, where the more difficult kids were enabled and it felt like those of us who actually had more of our shit together, were just expected to either help with it or just deal with the fact they didn’t have time for us because of the time my siblings took up. An example of this would be when I was in college, I was on a full scholarship (full tuition, but not room and board) because of my academic and athletic scholarship, so I ran track and XC to help pay for school. I worked two jobs as well to pay for my rent, and barely slept as I was in pre-med. I am the oldest of the 6 kids in my family, and in my family, I was the good kid. I didn’t ask for much, always figured my stuff out, etc. They “never needed to worry about me” so they didn’t. However, during that time when it went to school, my dad lost his job and my parents were fighting more and more. My siblings had less tolerance for their “bullshit” but they also fought each other because of the issues at home. Therefore, they began to struggle a lot. My mom was always borrowing money from me and I had no idea when I’d get it back. I would struggle and could barely afford my NEEDS. I barely bought books I needed and would often be finding ways to take pictures of my friend’s books, etc. Anyway, this was consistent and even to the point where I could not buy myself the sashes and what not for my graduation (I was in the honors courses, extracurricular, scholar athlete, Greek life, graduated top of my class for my major etc) because my mom had borrowed almost 1000 from me…and gave it to my sister who was studying abroad. This sister has never cared about taking my parents money or caring about how their financial situation affects everyone. She has since been diagnosed with BPD…I get that I have some unresolved family issues, so that may be coming out as I type here, but I also wanted to provide context into why I feel the way I do. I was also heavily parentified being the oldest, with an extreme sense of responsibility, even as an adult, for the well being of my siblings and parents. I have”sacrificed” (I say it in quotes because I know it was my choice and I take responsibility, but looking back I don’t agree with how it was all handled and felt my parents should’ve been more of the adults and allowed me to try and build my young adult like without the burden of caring for children that were not mine) a lot of time, money and opportunity so I could focus on trying to “save “ them (I have gone over this complex I have in therapy and I’m still working through it, but take responsibility for my actions in perpetuating the cycle)
I could go into more detail about the difficulties and struggles my parents face, and how life has gotten harder and harder for them. My mom is an enabler because she has trouble with people disliking her, yet burns bridges with people who genuinely care because she ends up accidentally taking advantage of them to focus on for example, her kids who are not actually doing anything to help and causing more issues in the family. My siblings are beginning to hate her, threaten to cut her off from meeting her future grandkids, etc I will be on the last line for cutting her off, because I genuinely believe she is such a loving person who has never been able to totally focus on her and has just been running on fumes for years. However, through therapy I’ve also come to recognize she is an adult who has had the opportunity to change her behavior (my dad too) to try and get a more positive outcome, but they have chosen to remain stubborn, and say it is because they have no time, but that part just isn’t true, it would take a lot of work and reorganizing at this point, but changes could be made. I have literally bought my mom therapy appointments, set them up, (I control her calendar for work so I know when she’s free and I handle all business scheduling so I know what appointments are important to the firm so I try to schedule when we have a few days without major deadlines) and my mom still says she is too busy
Anyway, finally to the point of this post, my mom owes me over 10k in promised payment, and I have been working full time. She has given me the amount I’ve needed to pay my half of the rent at my place (I live with my partner, who is genuinely shocked at the behavior of my parents and our family dynamics, but is very loving and supporting regardless, even to my family) but besides that, I’ve just been floundering. I don’t know where the money goes after we bill, but my mom is always complaining we don’t have money in the account. However she has not forgotten she owes me, and always brings up how she wants to get me paid, but I am continuing to struggle and don’t know when that will happen. I know she will, but when? The other aspect of this is my sister (the one with BPD) just graduated law school and was supposed to help us with the firm to help pay for her bar prep and bar fees, but she has managed to avoid work and I know my mom is just going to pay for it all anyway. However, I’m not mad cause I’m very proud of my sister and what she has accomplished with her mental health struggles however, that means her work has fallen into me, and not only am I helping with my duties and hers,I am expected to set up all the automations in the firm, handle all the schedules and set up a business for success. That takes time on top of all I am doing, and my mom gets easily frustrated with technology and things and complains this should all be easier and we should get it set up to be automated, have draft emails, etc . I tell her that takes time and money, but she has this idea we can just hire someone to take on the extra work but I’m not even being paid right now, so even the money that could potentially go to me, the person working full time, would be given to a VA to help push the firm forward. I would be okay with that if I really believed we were on our way to making a successful sful, lucrative business, but because of all the issues at home, my mom has barely been able to work. She is emotional and has a short fuse a lot, and it’s hard for me to keep things moving when I need an attorney to do most of the big thing clients pay for when working with a firm. Now she has gotten ill (which I am so upset about but my guess is it is due to stress) and has been out of work for two weeks besides hitting deadlines that need to be hit, she will call me screaming , crying (edit since input syringe instead of crying the first time) that she can’t do this anymore, can’t do the firm, etc. But then being happy and excited the very next day. I always tell her I just want her happy and to take care of herself, but she needs to let me know so I can find new work and build my life. I feel stuck in limbo and know I need to take actions to help myself, but I still wanted to try and help my mom as much as possible and see if the firm could still be built. However, yesterday my non working sister (studying for the bar) called me to show me the new outfits she had gotten and how she was going to go out with some friends, I love those types of calls from my sister but it made me realize my mom was still giving her money, fun money not just get ready for the bar money, and I’m here struggling and my partner is picking up the slack. One of my brothers, who I have lent money to multiple times in the last few months (he always pays me back in a timely manner) who said he couldn’t afford to do things he wanted and had to sell his EDC ticket, is now at EDC and my mom has no money in her account so my guess is she helped him. My dad works too so they are surviving, but she complains about the mortgage and bills to me a lot, so I feel guilty adding to her stress especially with her being sick, but I’m kind of at the end of my rope here after seeing she is still not prioritizing paying her employee (even if I am her daughter and have a lot of empathy for the situation)
I know I wrote a lot but I feel like I could have provided so much more context. Once she is feeling better I know I’m going to have another talk with her, but I don’t know if I should just say I’m done once we finish up our current case load and to not bring on any more clients unless she hires someone else cause I feel she’d be more likely to pay them. I want to believe it could be different and my mom could figure out how to build this firm professionally going forward, but I just don’t know if I’m being idealistic. Anyways, I do really wish I could get the money I’m owed to put into my own business that I have put on hold to do this (thinking I could help my mom AND save some money to put towards my own business which my mom was on board with and wanted because she sees the firm as a way to help all the kids finance their own dreams, and she really means that which is one example of why I say my mom is genuinely a good and kind person who loves her kids) part of me wants to say that if she wants to keep saying she “can’t do this” anymore that I am quitting and I hope she takes the time to focus on taking care of herself because I can’t stand by and watch her do the same stuff that will stress her into an early grave which genuinely scares me but is how I feel. Granted even if she isn’t working she is kind of addicted to stress so it may not change anything but there is part of me that hopes it would. Plus, they obviously need the money so it is probably just wishful thinking.
Anyway, sorry for the ramble, maybe I needed to get my feelings out, but I am wondering if anyone has any advice? Have you been in a situation like this and how did you handle it? Please be kind to my parents, but truthful as any help would be appreciated.
TLDR Summary
Busy Mom of 6 with good heart is my employer and has not paid me what is owed, but spends money on my siblings and has a history of doing things like this. I know she is struggling financially. How do I approach her and what is my best course of action to resolve and help versus just being harsh and cutting it all off?

I'm currently in a finance leadership role at a company with two distinct brands within our division. We have a division president who oversees both brands and focuses more attention on brand A and there is a division manager role that oversees brand B and reports to the division president. The division mananger role for brand B is currently vacant as the former person in that role was let go about 6 months ago (I speculate due to some of his own shortcomings but also due to the underperformance of that brand). My direct boss (the division president), recently retired and has been replaced by someone I highly respect and we have worked very well together since he started a couple of months ago. Last week my new boss approached me and directly asked why I haven’t considered applying for the vacant division manager position. He says I would be good fit for the role. Here are my thoughts and concerns:

1. Current Compensation vs. Promotion
   
   • I currently make very good money, and the promotion would only increase my pay about 20%. While significant, the raise isn’t a game-changer for me.
2. Job security
   
   • In my current role, I feel secure with performance metrics I can control. Conversely, the last two managers for this prospective position were fired in the span of 4 or 5 years. It feels like a big risk..
3. Division Performance
   
   • Brand B is currently struggling, mainly due to sales issues. We've had delays in projects, lower margins than forecasted due to market conditions, and corporate has recently mandated not to drop earnings forecasts, which impacts bonuses. It’s currently a stressful situation with a lot of pressure from corporate.
4. Future Opportunities
   
   • I’ve expressed interest in leading a division one day, but im in my early 30’s and with only 6 years in the industry, I’m not sure I’m ready. I don’t want to be overlooked for future opportunities if I don’t take this chance now.
5. Stress
   
6. I do feel like this role would cause me more stress… ironically I’d probably work less hours in the new role but it would be subject to more big decisions, worrying more often at home, etc.
   

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Hey Adulting,
I need to vent. I’m feeling completely burned out and overwhelmed. I’m working two jobs – one full-time gig in retail and a part-time job at a local diner – and I’m still barely scraping by. Between rent, bills, and student loan payments, it feels like I’m stuck in a never-ending cycle of financial stress.
Every month, it’s the same story. I budget meticulously, cut out any non-essential spending, and yet I still find myself dipping into my meager savings just to cover unexpected expenses. The cost of living keeps rising, but my wages seem to stay the same. It’s so frustrating to work 60+ hours a week and have nothing to show for it.
I know I’m not alone in this, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Anyone else out there feeling the same way? How are you managing to keep your head above water? Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for listening.