Todays letter is G!
Scoring will be done via upvotes with the highest upvoted quote being the winner. I will make a new post for the next letter on the next day and that'll include the highest upvoted quote.
A: "Alright, partner. keep on rollin baby. you know what time it is." - YeetusFelitas
B: "Bring it on!" - curnow
C: "CHOCOLATE STARFISH" - VanAintUsedUp
D: "DJ Lethal" - curnow
E: "Everything is fucked, everybody sucks!" - kram0786
F: "FAAAAIITH!" - strayacarnt

Need some fellow same-sex parents to shed some light here. Moms and dads can absolutely chip in too😊.
My girlfriend and I are a same-sex couple raising her 31 month old son (from a previous relationship) together, with primary custody of him. His father sees him occasionally, but not consistently, unfortunately. The little one has really grown to love me and come to me for comfort, he even sees me as a "second mommy" now.
I have made it extremely clear to my girlfriend that I want more children in the (near) future, especially to be able to give the little guy siblings to grow up with.
My girlfriend's baby daddy, among other people in our lives, have made comments insinuating that the child NEEDS a father and won't thrive without one. For her son, obviously it's a little different. He biologically has a father and should absolutely have a relationship with him. On the other side of things, our children that we decide to have later on will not have that "luxury" that he has, and I fear they will envy their big brother for having a father and them only having 2 moms.
I also had a slick comment made to me at work a couple weeks ago. I was talking about how bad the boy has been (he's 31 months, only 2.5 and in his terrible twos!), and a coworker that I talk to frequently piped up and asked if his dad's in his life. I told him that he's not as present as he could be, and he proceeded to tell me that is the reason why he is so misbehaved (lack of male figure in his life).
For a disclaimer, although I do not have to explain anything to anyone; her son has plenty of male figures in his life, regardless of his father's inconsistency. And don't get me wrong, I am a MOTHER but I do have a father figure-esque to myself, having grown up with boys and loving sports/video games. I want to get him into football when he's older and coach him, play video games with him, whatever he desires to do in his childhood is what he will get from us. I have a handful of nephews that I grew up around and helped raise so I got a feel for when it comes time to potty train, making sure they're being hygienic (if uncircumcised), etc.. We also do a damn good job at disciplining him and I do not believe that has anything to do with gender (although I am up to discussion, I suppose).
I'm in my very early 20s, helping my girlfriend raise her son. I stay home with him during the week (I work weekends), and I love being a parent figure to the little guy and absolutely cannot wait to bring more littles into the world. But the comments and criticism that we have receive makes it awfully discouraging, and disheartening even. Hoping to get some uplifting feedback from fellow same-sex parents doing the damn thing. Or even mom and dads that just see it differently.

I was at a work staff party for Christmas, and this girl walks in and says my boyfriend last name, which was werid because she only pointed him out of 25 people, then as the night goes by she wants to play a game with him which no big deal it’s just a game but keeps asking him to play with, my boyfriend seen I was a little uncomfortable so he didnt . then she sits beside him while I’m right beside him and says I could sit on his lap and it wouldn’t mean nothing, I was very uncomfortable at that point, then they we go outside for smoke and it was just me, her and my boyfriend outside and she pulls him away from me to tell him something, which in my opinion is pretty rude, then proceeds to talk about her inappropriate pictures she takes to my boyfriend, after that I stayed outside for a bit while my boyfriend went in and she followed him, I was talking with other staff members outside and I look into the door window and she is crying on him because her and baby daddy are having problems, then my boyfriend proceeds to give his number to her and I storm in there and grabb him to talk outside because I was so uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do…. So I’m I in the over reacting or is this disrespect on the girls part or is it my boyfriend fault for not stoping it. also my boyfriend said to my mother he didn’t know or even her name, when I know he knows who she is What should I do with this situation?

The types of people I'm referring to:

1. People who don't speak English as their first language, depending on their fluency, they get a pass or an inconsequential eyebrow raise.
   
2. People trying to add some form of a dramatic pause or effect to their sentence, quote or phrase.
   

I may be alone in this thought but if I see this online or just in text form, my mind is immediately going to go to "They went out of their way to type out .... To make it more dramatic, haha, what an absolute twoddle".
You deserve to have people cringe away from you.

1. The "older" generation who type something out like "Babie Punter will not be getting my vote....!!!!"

These people are a mix of the shit attempt at creating a dramatic pause and generally bad computer literacy (is that even a term?)
I fucking hate it so much.
"Just don't look at it"
If I see someone calling themself a "bad boy" in a text and then adding 😈 at the end of it, I'm still going to automatically skim over it and cringe anyway.
I am simply airing out my rage, lest it envelop me like the soft bossom of of an aneurysm.

If Helluva Boss had a fighting game
Millie - Fast, smol, unreasonably strong, well rounded character with tools for all situations. You can't touch her, she's that annoying ass fly buzzing and jumping around. Think GT Goku from Dragon Ball FighterZ
Blitzo - oh don't get all pissed off and huffy when Daddy shoots your ass full screen and there's nothing you can do about it but cry. He kills people for a living -- blowing you up full screen with guns and grenades is his bread and butter. Think Peacock from Skullgirls or Deadshot from Injustice.
Loona - she's pissed and she's just gonna beat your ass with fists (and her chain if she feels like it, definitely one of her supers) like Vanessa from Virtua Fighter or Black Canary from Injustice -- there will be many hit throws with BRUTAL looking animations, including snapped limbs and MMA tackle beatdowns.
Moxxie - jack of all trades, master of none. Slightly bigger hit/hurtbox than Millie. He can fight back against zoning with toys and traps of his own, think Viewtiful Joe or Arthur from Marvel vs Capcom.
Striker -- Jack of all trades, master of gun. He's got the tools. Traps, some basic 50/50s, a command grab that you can meter burn to extend the combo. He's like Erron Black from Mortal Kombat because duh -- has that sane special move from him where he automatically quickdraws and shoots down enemy projectiles too.
Stolas - L O N G B O I. You're not gonna touch this guy unless he wants you to. This dude's gonna use his limbs and magic to cha-cha dance all over your face like Duo Lon from King of Fighters, or Dhalsim from Street Fighter - tool kit complete with magic powers and teleportation.
Fizzarolli - LOOK AT THIS! 🤡, a.k.a. the character perfect for a UOP (un-organized player). Weird ass looking stances and animations, he's mobile and all over the place thanks to those wacky robo limbs. This guy is 50/50 city and will troll you if he's feeling cheeky (which he always is, it's Fizz). Think Yoshimitsu from Tekken or Voldo from Soul Calibur.
Vortex - "For a brick, he flew pretty good!" Don't let the intimidating stature fool you, he's quick for a grappler. You have to be when you're a bodyguard. This dude is absolutely a grappler, similar to E. Honda or Alex from Street Fighter.
Beelzebub - I imagine her large angry form as an install super, she turns into a Big Body character with different moves, properties, frame data, etc. Surprisingly tricky and viable on her own, though. DoT honey traps and projectiles. Basically a 1 to 1 of SonSon from Marvel vs. Capcom 2 with some extra honey (literally).
Verosika - she was born to control neutral and look good doing it. Very strong normals, basic specials - if you can master the basics, she will reward you handsomely. She's got a normal parry and a parry Super. Plays like a hybrid of Morrigan from DarkStalkers and Poison from Street Fighter.
Ozzie - The God of Lust has to be in control and ready for anything, baby. I imagine him to be a true hybrid character - striker, zoner, grappler, neutral control - think Urien or Gill from Street Fighter.
Glitz & Glam - I picture them as a stance style tag fighter - both always on screen, but one in front and one kinda standing back, looking like a baddie and hyping em up. The normals and supers would be different based on who's on point.
Mammon - big ass boi that hits hard as fuck. Like Earthquake from Samurai Shodown (ironically Loona's the one with the Kusarigama) or Potemkin from Guilty Gear. If he gets his giant paws on you, say goodbye to your health bar (and your money).
Those are all that I can think of at the moment. Chaz, Crimson or Barbie Wire could also be included in there somewhere.
....damn I high key want this to be a thing now.

i don’t usually post on reddit but here we go because i have no where else to put this rant that’s been in my head since HMHAS came out lmao
the SECOND i heard birds of a feather, i was like “oh the tiktok girlies are going to be CONFUSED about this one” and i think i was right
on social media i have seen the chorus being used to show how in love someone is with their partnefriend/dog/etc. which is all cute and i know it’s not this deep but THEYRE USING THE SONG WRONG?
let’s recap: she uses a theramin (notoriously foreboding instrument) and plays the backing instrumentation a quarter tone below the actual melody to make the whole thing feel Slightly Wrong™️ and we’re supposed to believe this relationship is healthy and good?
quote the song:
“i want you to stay… til i’m in the casket YOU carry”, he bears responsibility for her BEING in the casket.
“and if i’m turning blue please don’t save me, nothing left to lose without my baby”, the all-or-nothing thinking gives me throwbacks to college dear god
“say you wanna quit, don’t be stupid” yikes
this song is a haunting and beautiful and sounds like it could be sung by queen miss gabriella montez, but it’s also FOREBODING AS SHIT and i don’t understand why people are comparing their beautiful and loving relationships to it!!

Key (paraphrased) quotes including "I have to take a shit, let me go to the bathroom", "baby I love youuuu, gimme a kiss" (to his girlfriend), and my personal favorite, the reason I want to find this video to show to a friend: "Lemme talk to the dudge!" He was clearly wasted and was acting so obnoxiously that it was unintentionally funny to me. I referenced it to a friend and told him I'd find it again, but so far I've failed to. Help me, reddit users, you're my only hope.
I thought I originally saw it on the Audit the Audit or LackLuster YouTube channels, but I couldn't find it through search or ctrl + f on their channels.
To be clear about the title of this post, everything from "who crashed into something" up to "and hid inside" was prior context to the bodycam footage, it didn't actually get captured on film as the police showed up to his house after all that had already happened. As far as I remember it starts with the police knocking, talking to his grandma, asking if he's inside, and asking her to get him to come outside and talk to them. She was very cooperative by contrast to his behavior.

My (28F) baby daddy (30M) announced he is getting married. He cheated on me a few months after I gave birth with his current now-fiance. She knows and doesn't care.
Surpringly, 2 years later, we all get along really well and do a lot of activities all together. I've expressed a lot (even while pregnant) that I wanted my son to have my last name. I was guilt-tripped out of that, because he swore he'd marry me and give me his last name but I had a gut feeling that wouldn't happen. Now that they're getting married, even though I do like her and get along well with baby daddy, I still want my son's last name to have me too. Some people say it doesn't matter or that I'm being petty. But it just makes me feel weird that this person would have my son's last name and I personally don't have a relationship with my own family so the last name is and has always been important to me.
AITAH for taking my baby daddy to court and requesting a hyphenated name?
Note: Also both of our names are fairly normal but we're different races so it would be something like Ramirez-Smith. (I'm Hispanic)

Ok where to begin.. I've been with my wife since 2021, she was already separated (but not dicorced) and had a 4 yo son and 2.5 yo daughter. She left her ex because it just wasn't working and around the time we got together she found messages and nudes he'd (at the time 28m) swapped with her friends baby sitter (16f). She reported it to the army MP's and it was all swept under the rug which is fucked up enough but he was kicked out of the army. Needless to say, not a great guy.
So my wife and I start dating, it takes time but the kids warm up to me, wife and I get married, and seeing I need to provide I join the USAF and go through the recruitment process in 2022, BD knows im joining and even being kicked out of the army knows there's a timer on when his ex and the kids move away when I get stationed somewhere.
He was only 45 min away from us at the time of me starting enlistment and by the time I finished basic and tech training which took 6 months (in total was about a year process) and he only came to see the kids about 6 or 7 times.
We got to our base in July 2023 and it wasn't until December 2023 that he even asked what our address was because he needed it for some paperwork. He never actually initiates calls or even text my wife to ask how the kids are, all contact he has with them is when my soon to be 5 SD ask to call him. He knows absolutely fuck all about what's going on in the kids lives, anything about their interest, he just doesn't care but yet every time he talks to them (which is on average once a month for about 20 min) he tells them how much he loves them etc. And how much he cares about them.
Back at new years he told the kids he'd come to us to visit (about a 10 hour drive which my wife and I have made twice to go back home for holidays since we left in July 2023) by the end of February. We'll surprise surprise he didn't show.
A couple days ago my SD asked to call him and asked if he'd be at her birthday party in 2 weeks, he said that "he'd try to be there but wasn't sure". Well my wife ans i got confirmation today from him that he was going to be here because, and I quote, "I haven't missed a birthday and I'll be dammed if I miss one now." WE asked what his exact travel plans were so we knew how to plan for his visit, and he actually hadn't made plans yet and is just saying he'll be here. Also, this whole "I'll be dammned if I miss a birthday" shit is just so infuriating because if my SD didn't ask, he wouldn't have even entertained the idea of coming out to us.
He makes about 80k/yr and we only ask for 1k/mo in child support for 2 kids despite the fact that it should be 25% of each pay check per our states laws, and he's complaining saying "well I'll be out there but I have to put everything on a credit card to make the trip because I'm saving to buy a house". We have 0 idea where all his money goes and we frankly don't care, but his financial literacy is crazy bad.
Now I have to figure out, if he does actually show up, how to handle this with the kids, make a list of ground rules for him being in my fucking house which I don't want to begin with but the kids want to see him, and making sure I don't fucking deck him when I hear him inevitably say "well they're my kids".
TLDR; BD is a piece of shit who does nothing but make empty promises to my kids just for me and my wife to clean up his mess and be the bad guys.

This song is the song where I have the most issue with when it comes to the fans' interpretation of it. Their biggest argument for this is the football references, but they fail to consider that the football metaphors were just a way for Taylor Swift to draw parallels between the (American) football world and her situation.
In this analysis, I'll be doing a line-by-line breakdown of why this is not a Travis Kelce song, but is instead a song that she wrote where she is directly addressing her fans, much like how "But Daddy I Love Him", and "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me" were written.
Here it goes. Please bear with me!
This happens once every few lifetimes

• Suggests a rare and significant event. Taylor's comeback after a major public backlash (Kim Kardashian's Snakegate incident) and hiatus was a unique moment in her career, and in anyone's public career, really.

These chemicals hit me like white wine

• The "chemicals" symbolize the rush of emotions and excitement, akin to the thrill she feels from reconnecting with her fans by organising the Eras Tour.
• "White wine" can imply a pleasant, intoxicating experience, like the support she gets from her fans (look up her sales and streaming charts).

What if I told you I'm back?

• The "you" here directly addresses her fans, announcing her return to the public eye after a period of "absence".
• IMO this line is not at all a shade to Joe, but directly references the line "but I come back stronger than a 90s trend" in willow.

The hospital was a drag / Worst sleep that I ever had

• This song is a direct reference to epiphany, and, on a bigger picture, the pandemic. We must remember that her plans ("Loverfest") were all cancelled thanks to Covid.
• The line also metaphorically refers to her time in "hiding" or dealing with the aftermath of the public fallout, which was a difficult and restless period.

I circled you on a map

• This is the easiest line - she always plans her tour ahead and would choose the locations that she would be performing at.
• This symbolises her plan to reconnect with her fans, targeting them, in each location, specifically as her focus upon her return to touring.

I haven't come around in so long / But I'm coming back so strong

• This line once again emphasises her "hiatus" and assures her fans of her strong comeback.

So when I touch down / Call the amateurs and / Cut 'em from the team / Ditch the clowns, get the crown / Baby I'm the one to beat

• "Touch down" signifies her reentry into the music industry. "Call the amateurs and cut 'em from the team" represents reclaiming her position, emphasizing that she is the top artist and dismissing those who doubted her or tried to take her place.
• "Baby I'm the one to beat" represents her thoughts that she's the one "ahead of the curve" (this is me trying). Now, couple that with her AOTY award for her albums "folklore" and "Midnights", despite the strong competition she had (SZA, Harry Styles, Dua Lipa) - no, folks, Taylor Swift is the one to beat.

Cause the sign on your heart / Said it's still reserved for me

• Indicates the unwavering loyalty of her fans who kept a place for her in their hearts despite her absence and the controversies surrounding her (in general)
• .

Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

• "Alchemy" symbolizes the magical, transformative bond.
• Taylor thinks that the bond between her and her fans is a magical one, one that withstands challenges and changes.
• The Alchemy is what makes her bejeweled.

Hey you, what if I told you we're cool? / That child's play back in school / Is forgiven under my rule

• Now, this line is where she addresses her fans directly. In this line, she is suggesting that she forgave all that drama ("child's play") back during the snakegate. (disclaimer: we know she forgives, she forgets, but she never let's it go -- so let's move on from this one lol)
• But basically, between her and the general fans, she's saying that she's 'moved past' what she thought was her fans' reaction to the the public feuds and media drama.

Now, let's move on to the bridge!
Shirts off, and your friends lift you up over their heads / Beer sticking to the floor / Cheers chanted, cause they said

• This is where she uses the football metaphor to describe the celebratory atmosphere of her concerts, the unity, and the joy her fans experience together.

There was no chance, trying to be / The greatest in the league / Where's the trophy? / He just comes running over to me

• This line! Basically reflects on how she defied the odds and criticism to become the "greatest" with the support of her fans, symbolizing victory and recognition.
• By all means she is currently "the greatest".
  • She is, afterall, the first person in Grammy history to win album of the year four times.
  • Her name is definitely up there as one the greatest of all time, according to Billboard.
  • There's more but I mean, it's like repeating the same points basically.

These blokes warm the benches / We been on a winning streak

• In this line, she is trying to say that everyone else are just warming the benches, while she's the one who's been out there on a winning streak with folklore, midnights, and the eras tour.
• Her usage of "we" here indicates not only "her", but everyone involved, including her fans. This reinforces the alchemy that she has with her fans, and that all of this is a mutual success, i.e. she would not be here without the support of her fans.

He jokes that it's heroin but this time with an "E" / Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me

• This line is a controversial line, because of her usage of the word "he". Now, who is "he"? Is it Travis Kelce? Or could it be Matty Healy, considering his history with the pills? In this song, this actually does not matter. Why?
  • The point of this line is to symbolise the feeling she feels when she's performing, bejeweled, in glittery skirts, and the feeling insider of her when her fans giving her a standing ovation. To her, this feeling is euphoric. It's like taking heroin.
  • Because she is a female artist, she feels like a heroine in her show. Everyone pays attention to her, and only her. As with all heroines in movies (specifically, those movies with no heroes).
  • Combining both together, "Heroin with an 'E'" signifies as a powerful, euphoric connection (her and her fans) that's not destructive (unlike Heroin), but rather, a positive, euphoric, and uplifting feeling.
• Again, the "sign on your heart" symbolizes fans' loyalty.

and finally, this line....

• Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me.
  • Before I do a deep dive on this, let's establish the definition of the "trophy". The "trophy" symbolizes ultimate success, victory, or recognition in a competitive field.
  • This line is a rhetorical question. There is no actual "trophy". Taylor Swift is the trophy.
  • Any dudes dating her should recognise that. That she's the trophy.

Addressing the (American) football references in this song:

As mentioned before, the football references in this song are simply metaphors to help illustrate the themes of competition, triumph, and teamwork.

• "So when I touch down"
  
  • While "Touchdown" is a direct reference to scoring in American football, it also, in a literal sense, means refers to when she has landed in her private jet. At this point, we all already know about her and her private jet "news" - I do not need to elaborate on this.
  • "Touching down" symbolizes a notable return after her hiatus and public controversies, Taylor Swift’s "touch down" represents her re-emergence into the public eye with a strong, confident, and elevated status.
  • In the context of the song, it symbolizes Taylor's return to the public eye and re-establishing her position in the music industry.
• "Call the amateurs and / Cut 'em from the team"
  
  • This phrase uses the concept of a sports team to signify separating the less dedicated or less talented (the "amateurs") from the main group. It implies that only the best and most loyal (fans) shall remain, akin to a team selection process in sports.
• "Shirts off, and your friends lift you up over their heads / Beer sticking to the floor / Cheers chanted, cause they said"
  
  • This imagery is reminiscent of celebratory scenes in sports, particularly football games where fans celebrate their team's victories with loud cheers, lifting people in celebration, and the chaotic but joyful atmosphere, very much like the Eras tour.
• "There was no chance, trying to be / The greatest in the league / Where's the trophy?"
  
  • Directly references sports league competition and winning a trophy, which signifies achieving the highest honor or success. And who is she? The Billboard Woman of the Decade. The first person in history to win the AOTY 4 times. One with one of the highest grossing tour of all time. Yes by all accounts she's the music industry.

TLDR: If you switched the "you" in this song to reference "the fans", this song will make complete sense. Now, try giving this song a listen, and think of "you" as "yourself" (the fans).
Taylor Swift's song "The Alchemy," is basically a powerful ode to her fans, chronicling her journey through public scrutiny and her triumphant return to the music industry. It draws parallels to her tumultuous period following the "snake gate" incident with Kim Kardashian and her subsequent hiatus before the release of "Reputation," the lyrics reflect a narrative of resilience, redemption, and the unwavering bond between Swift and her fans.
Once you are able to interpret "you" as "the fans", you'll be able to see, without having to do too much mental gymnastics, that the song is about the transformative and enduring connection Swift shares with her loyal supporters.
If you've made it this far, thank you for reading. Sorry for any typos or grammatical errors - but I hope I helped you made sense of the song!

Updated: he is situated in ICU. The cancer is NOT back. Brain bleed is still a thing. He will be having brain surgery. I just got home here at 7:46AM. Mom is there with him. She finally got to sorta lay down in the pull out chair.
I just need to tell someone. Anyone. I don’t know.
My daddy got airlifted to the major hospital in my state for a brain bleed. They saw a 3cm tumor. He had been in remission from cancer the last few years. Is it cancer? What do they do? He was so confused. He was so scared. He saw me at the original ER and put on a brave face. My momma is a wreck. I’m sitting in an ER waiting room because only one person can be in at once. My dad is hilarious. He makes the worst moments good. Even in the ER he was joking with everyone. I just. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. My dad is my favorite person. He met my mom when I was just a baby. He raised me my entire life. I know I got my entire life up until this point. But I need more. My kids need more.
My kids are at home asleep with my husband.
I’m just…I dunno. Some home finders show is on the TV. The mother is droning on and on about the tile and lack of storage and my dad is waiting for a spot in the ICU and potentially having brain surgery.
Like who the fuck cares about the tile? Who chose this god damned show?
Pray? Send good vibe, love, light.
❤️❤️❤️❤️

My BH has turned to verbal abuse the last few months. It’s not often, but when he does become abusive, it’s hard. He has also been quoting excerpts from the videos he found & saved that I would send to AP. I get the silent treatment for days. This isn’t new since DDay. But he has increased the amount of days he will go without speaking to me. Before DDay, it was 2-3 days max. Now he will go 5-8 days before speaking to me.
The verbal abuse is pretty jarring. I didn’t even realize it until my therapist pointed it out. He will call me a whore, a bitch, a cunt. He will call me worthless.
It sounds so typical but I provoked him earlier this evening when I tried speaking to him and he just kept telling me to “fuck off”. I saw his dirty shirt on our sofa. I lost it. I’ve been keeping up with my end of housework for the entirety of our marriage. He will constantly tell me that “he pays for my existence”. I saw the shirt rolled it up and threw it at him. I told him to pick up his shit. He lost it.
He threw his shoes at the door, Ripped the bedding off the mattress and went into the kitchen when I was with our daughter. He yelled at me in front of me. “Don’t you ever touch me you fuckjng bitch. You worthless cunt.” He then slammed the bedroom door so hard it chipped the door jamb and frame. So hard my daughter immediately started crying. I consoled her and let her know “yes, daddy does love you. No he isn’t mad at you.”
I guess I’m just wondering if any BP’s have ever done this and still managed R. I’m beginning to think that there might not be a way for R. Advise please.

Anyone else hearing a similar story
Single mother, has a narcissist ex or abusive ex, her baby’s daddy is in someway a pos according to her, extremely thirsty on social media and seems to not have her child a lot. Last 3 dates all the same to a T.

Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/SPm0Fjl
This one hits different. Right from the start, with those ominous vocals giving the whole thing a feeling of foreboding and momentousness. Donald Trump lurking around the stage for his titlecard, even staying onscreen as his titlecard goes away is hilarious and a great visual touch. Then we get Hillary sitting in her debate chair; this battle committing so hard to a location both rappers are present in is pretty unique.
"I've been in this game too long; I'm a public servant! Have been since I met MLK in person!" Serviceable opening on paper, but the guest actor, Kimmy Gatewood, makes it stick out with her performance. Love the intensity of her voice and facial expressions. "I'm a woman of the people; that's for certain. You're a man of the people who don't like turbans!" This is a great line, very accurate, and I love the look on Hillary's face. "I was living in the West Wing while you were professional wrestling. Got skin like Russian dressing from too much Russian investing!" Good lines, in particular I really dig the Russian dressing/Russian investing parallel. Also, while I don't think Kimmy bears a super strong resemblance to Hillary Clinton(the guest actress from Clinton v. Henry VIII was much more on-point) she does look a lot like her as she does the Russian dance in the background. Something about her wide-open smile. "You been going bankrupt since the 90s; if I was in Iran you couldn't find me." Very true on both counts, very solid line. I don't know what more there is to say. Is it gonna be controversial to acknowledge the reality that Trump's gone bankrupt lots of times and probably couldn't point to Iran on a map, even now that he's been president? "You don't care about the job, Trump, you just think the desk is shiny." I think it's accurate that Trump really only cares about the prestige, but this still seems like a pretty weak attack. Hell, you could argue the vast majority of presidential candidates care more about the prestige than actually doing anything. "I said that I respect your children but that wasn't quite right, yo! Looking like some extras on American Psycho!" This line is pretty fucking great. I didn't get it when this battle first released, but I've seen American Psycho more recently, and comparing the Trump kids to the useless trust fund posers surrounding Patrick Bateman is hilarious. The hyper-aggressive hip thrusting Hillary's doing is also a great visual. For the most part this portrayal doesn't resemble Hillary much, but I think there's some truth in how she's portrayed as being very try-hard here. "First name is Hillary, middle name Rodham, last name is Clinton, and lyrics I got 'em! You fire celebrities on The Apprentice, motha fucka I fire Bin Laden! (Crack!) cough" Being tryhard again. The lines are pretty good, the flow is pretty good. The reference to her coughing is a fun touch. "How do I say this? You're racist! Ooh, you must get so pissed that your hands are too small to stop and frisk!" The asking/answering of that question at the beginning is really funny, and I like the way they worked Trump's small hands into this attack on him for being racist. "So you use your fingers to touch chicks. (She's only 12 years old.) That's enough, shit! (But she's married, sir.) Just gotta get pushy. (That's your daughter.) Well, grab her by the pussy!" One of the highlights of the battle, love the way they worked in the secret service agent here. Pointing out Trump being a creep at child beauty pageants and towards Ivanka are great lines of attack. "That's assault, brotha! Don't tell me the victim's at fault, sucka! You don't know shit about steaks! Yucka! But the ones on the 8th are great! Motha fucka!" Really fun delivery, good attacks, I like that they threw the Trump Steaks jab in between the more serious sentiments. I don't know what the fuck is going on with the background in this section, though they're really going hard on the tryhardness of Hillary. "Better save the date; I'm gonna rock the vote! Bad bitch on the scene like Murder, She Wrote!" Hillary trying to compare herself to that character is pretty cringe, as is highlighted by her attempting to dab with the biggest "look, aren't I cool, kids?!" look on her face. Real "Pokemon Go to the polls" moment. "So go ahead, Donald, let me see you flow. I brought Michelle's speech; borrow some quotes!" It's a pretty great line, though this line is moreso an attack at Melania than Trump himself; she should have ended with a more Trump-focused attack.
"Let me just say I respect all females. But your rhymes are trash; put 'em next to your emails." The first line is funny in how flagrantly untrue it is, the second line is just plain funny. Good opener. "Our country's in crisis. Who wants to vote for the mother of ISIS? That might not be exactly true, but I don't do politeness." Trump talks out of his ass and lies a lot, yes. "(Believe me!) You wanna talk about misogyny? Your Bill's worse than Cosby! He left a mess on that dress like you left in Benghazi!" The comparison of the rapist Bills is a great line, and I'm not sure whether the whole Benghazi thing was actually something that was Hillary's fault or just a Fox News talking head talking point, but it's a good line regardless. Also by this point it's clear that Lloid's Trump impression is on-point, much better than Peter's. "(Terrible!) You wanna break the glass ceiling, Hillary, I sense it. But the only crack you'll find is my ass pressed against it." The gesturing Lloid is doing during the "I sense it" line is fucking hilarious. The second line is also pretty funny, and did turn out to be true. "The numbers are in and I'm right on your tail. You don't have the stamina, baby, you're frail! This will be just like '08 when you fail! But Trump will appoint you to jail!" Fun parallel to Hillary's "First name is Hillary" segment from before going on here. The lines themselves are fine, nothing amazing. The second-to-last one turned out to be true, the last one did not. "How do I say this? You're a 2. And you almost lost the primary to a socialist Jew!" It's pretty funny how Trump mimics Hillary's "How do I say this?" bit, and "you're a 2" is such a simple but funny jab. He's got a point that Hillary was so weak a candidate that Bernie Sanders came outta nowhere and was able to put up a serious competition in a race that was supposed to have no real competition for her. "What do the American people gotta yankee doodle doo, to get it through your fat face, that they're just not that into you?!" The use of 'yankee doodle doo' is funny and he's got a real point that Hillary needs to accept she's very unpopular, though that 'fat face' line is such a pot calling the kettle black moment. No doubt intended as such. "They want a strong male leader who can stand up to China! Not a crooked, little, wishy-washy bleeding heart vagina!" These lines, of course, exist purely to point out that Trump is a giant sexist. The "China, China, China... bloody vagina!" in the background is a very funny touch. Little bits like that just add so much to this battle. "I'm gonna run these streets like I run my casinos; more police and less Latinos!" These lines, of course, exist purely to point out that Trump is a giant racist. "While you bury us in debt buying poor people socks, I'll create jobs, tearing down mosques!" Trump is against programs that help the impoverished and hates Muslims. "Then I'll use all the best rocks from the site to build a wall, dip it in gold and make Mexico pay for it all!" The thing Lloid does with his eyes as he smiles when he says "build a wall" is just... SO Trumpian. This really is one of the greatest Trump impressions I've ever seen, Lloid did an amazing job. As for the line... Trump says he's gonna build a wall. He built a partial wall. A partial, really unimpressive wall. "I'll make this country great again! We'll all be living large! And I'll tell Congress you're fired, and put Charles in charge!" Trump's slogan is MAGA and Charles in Charge was a TV show whose main actor is a Trump supporter. Also apparently there was a Supreme Court judge named Charles Trump once wanted nominated. Alright. "'Cause this whole system's rigged! And we all know the riggers! For the last eight years this country's been run by- (CAW!)" The point of this line is that Trump is a giant racist. I like the touch that the crowd is cheering wildly for Trump while Hillary looks disturbed in the background.
Then Lincoln comes soaring in on an eagle, as he did in Obama v. Romney. "Are you fucking kidding me with this blah blah blah? I've half a mind to feed you both to my oversized - (CAW!)" The use of 'CAW!' as a censor is amusing. "I've heard more thoughtful discussion up in TMZ! You two got brother blocking brother on their Facebook feed!" This isn't fun anymore, it's just real. "I'm so sick and tired of this ridiculous shit! If this is the best my party gets, then my party should quit!" The Republican Party is a nightmare and Lincoln would be ashamed of it today, is what is being said. "I'm sorry, did I say something that you found funny? Wipe that creepy-ass smile off your face and beat this dummy!" Clinton is a shitty politician who didn't take Trump seriously enough, and she comes across as cold and inhuman. And in case you somehow failed to pick up on it before, ERB makes clear here their endorsement for which candidate to vote for. "And if she does win the White House, be a man and hold the door. Don't get your fans stirred up in some sorta Twitter civil war!" Too real, especially after January 6th. "Here's an equal opportunity smack down in the sequel! That's of the people, by the people, for the people, eagle!" Some people have debated whether Lincoln slapped Trump twice in place of slapping Clinton at all because he's a gentleman and wouldn't hit a woman, or because ERB favors Clinton over Trump. The latter is definitely true, but the former is also probably true. So... both! Then Lincoln yells "Eagle!" and fucks off.
Let's talk about bias. There's two camps of people I've seen in discussions about certain ERB battles, especially this one, and they both irk me. So let's address both of them.
First off: YES, ERB is biased against Trump. And are biased against Republicans generally, and much more sympathetic to the Democrats. They've made that completely obvious from the beginning. And you know what? That's totally fine! They're right to be biased against them! But for some reason, some people in the fanbase can't just admit that. For some reason, there's a lot of people in the fanbase who will bend over backwards trying to explain how it's actually totally unbiased(false) and they attack both sides equally(false) and people complaining are being salty(true). But if you think ERB is unbiased, then society has failed you, because you are a woeful media illiterate. They're screaming Vote for Hillary, Don't Let Trump Win! at you and somehow you haven't managed to decipher what they're saying. I hope for your sake you're, like, twelve years old if you actually think they're unbiased. Here's an important lesson for you to learn as you grow up: 'biased' does not equate to 'bad'! For example, you SHOULD be 'biased' against Hitler! If you look at someone like Hitler and compare him to someone like MLK and treat them as equally valid figures whose ideas are both worthy of consideration, then you're at best a useful idiot and at worst a Nazi apologist! Stop feeling like you have to defend ERB's honor by feverishly denying any claims of bias!
But even worse than those jokers are the fuckers who love to bitch about how ERB has gotten "too political" or "too woke" nowadays. NEWSFLASH, DUMBASS: the very FIRST battle was John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly, and Bill O'Reilly literally says "Because I'm evil! Heart blacker than Don Cheadle!" Their very foundation as a series is shitting on Republicans! They didn't suddenly 'go woke' just because they stopped doing gay jokes and shat on Trump even more explicitly than they already did to Romney.
Anyway, I've got mixed feelings about this battle. The 'mixed' part of those feelings come from how heavy it is; I have to be in a certain mood to want to listen to this, and most times I see this pop up in my playlist I just skip on to the next one. It's uncomfortable. It's real. Maybe a little too real. But then again, maybe they were right to take it so seriously. It's still a great battle, even if it can be a little hard to come back to. The only big issue I have with it is that Lincoln coming in at the end is kind of a drag. It was funny the first time; this doesn't recapture the magic. He doesn't really have any great lines either. I tend to stop listening by the time he comes in. But besides that, this battle has an amazing instrumental track, great visuals, peak performances from both Lloid and Kimmy, and good, sometimes great, writing.
I used to think Trump won this battle despite always having been anti-Trump. Revisiting it now, I'm not sure why I thought that. Maybe it was because his part was just so entertaining, even moreso than Hillary's. Maybe it's because I, like many others, harbor a strong resentment and bitterness towards Hillary Clinton(muh Bernie) that would lead me to not be entirely honest about her performance here. Maybe it's just because that hardly anybody said Clinton won back in the day; Trump had either a majority or a clear plural majority of votes in polls, then Lincoln with a fair amount, then Clinton with a small fraction. Now I see that that is utter bullshit. The only reason anybody votes for Lincoln is either because of the Last Word Effect or because they want to be centrists about it and not side with either candidate; even if you could argue he was the best part of Obama v. Romney, here his verse falls well short of both Clinton and Trump's. On the question of Clinton v. Trump... I can kind of see how someone might think Trump won on account of how hilarious he was, but a ton of his stuff just makes himself look bad, and if we're being honest I think Clinton had better burns and more substantive lines of attack. I say Clinton>Trump>Lincoln.
inb4 someone says I got "too political" in my presidential election battle analysis

i wanna start this off by saying that i know that meredith is all damaged and doesn’t have a family and boohoo her. But i think it’s sooo sucky that her children have no connection to derek’s family (other than amelia). i’m rewatching right now, and clearly lizzie really wants to be involved with the kids. i obviously know that neve campbell was not gonna be a recurring person on the show but the lack of mention of anyone of them after derek died always rubbed me the wrong way. i think at that point meredith is no longer the little girl with daddy issues. at that point she had a family, blood or not. I am sure that derek’s family didn’t completely forget about the three children their only brotheson had. honestly, if amelia wasn’t involved, i wouldn’t even be too sure that meredith would mention that she had a third baby. i think it’s very selfish to keep her children away from their very big family, just because she didn’t choose/like them.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Direct-Armadillo-770
Originally posted to AITAH
AITAH if I don’t go to my sister’s wedding because she is excluding my husband?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: verbal abuse, ableism
Original Post: May 11, 2024
I (F , 36) have been married to my husband Brad (M , 40) for the last 6 years. I have a daughter (F,10) from a previous relationship (we were engaged when he abandoned me when I was pregnant to be with his coworker and eventually disappeared).
Brad loves and adores my daughter and my daughter loves him so much . I’m currently pregnant with our first baby (my second baby) . Brad is a paraplegic. He was in a car accident when he was 21. He has since his accident went back to school and currently works as university prof . He is super independent and possibly the best man I could ever married .
My sister is getting married and today she announced that the venue she picked is a heritage building . I told her then it won’t be wheelchair accessible… she rolled her eyes and said “the world doesn’t revolves around Brad , it’s not his day ! It’s mine” . I said I understand but I’m not leaving him behind then . She started screaming that I’m trying to steal attention because everyone will ask where is bride’s sister . Her fiancé suggested having the ceremony at the heritage building but have the reception at another venue that way Brad can join us . My sister said no .
I talked to Brad , he thinks I should go and he and my daughter can have daddy /daughter date and he will take care of her (it’s a child free wedding and we were initially going to ask Brad’s mom to watch my daughter) . He thinks it’s not a big deal and I should just go and enjoy the wedding . I feel very bad and don’t want to go but my sister will be so upset . AITAH if I don’t go to my sister’s wedding because she is excluding my husband ?
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
Relevant Comments
Still_Actuator_8316: Do what feels right to you.
I can see you love your husband very much. And you have every right to be mad that your sister wants to exclude him.
And serious. How hard is it to rent a temporary ramp to be put in place so he can go. But since I don't know the stair situation I can give a pass about that. But there are options

OOP: It’s an old heritage building with lots of stairs unfortunately. I feel really bad for my husband tbh

bluefurniture: I like the idea of the Dad and daughter day. Are you in the wedding party? How does the heritage building get away with skirting ADA laws.? Your sister is awful and at least the fiance is empathetic. don't be surprised if there is no wedding.

OOP: I’m not in the wedding party . Sadly it’s 2024 and we still don’t have something like ADA in Canada . Since it’s a heritage building they don’t care about accessibility. Yes , my husband once a month has a daddy/daughter date . They go to different restaurants each time and do any activities she chooses :)

Great-Asparagus8788: As a Mom of a Differently Abled Daughter- I have to say #1 your sister didn't turn overnight. She's been enabled in her ROTTEN behavior her whole life. Your parents should be ashamed. Your Hubs sounds awesome though! You don't have to ask permission to turn your back on a dumpster fire. Point out it's on fire and the privledge of you ,your husband and their grandbabies presence will be restored when the fire is out. And then leave.

OOP: My parents pay for my sister’s big wedding . They did pay for my at home reception when we eloped as well ( they invited everyone ( about 14 people ) to a restaurant ). I talked to them . They said they do love Brad but it’s my sister’s day and they can’t force her to change her mind . Yes I’m disappointed at them . I just don’t understand how you can claim you respect someone yet tell him to stay home ! You are not welcome …my husband is used to not being included so he is okay . I just can’t get over it

 
Update: May 12, 2024
My post : https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1cpuqyy/aitah_if_i_dont_go_to_my_sisters_wedding_because/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
. Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice.
It’s Mother’s Day today and of course my husband and my daughter decided to spoil me rotten :) we went for Mother’s Day lunch to my parents. My sister and her fiancé, Bob (his name is Babak , he is Iranian but everyone calls him Bob) came too.
Brad , Bob and my dad were in the backyard Bbqing and chatting . My mom and my sister were in the kitchen talking . My sister went on and on about her wedding plans . I asked her if there is any possibility that she would consider Bob’s suggestion? She can have her civil ceremony , Iranian ceremony , and all her pictures done in her dream venue then have the reception which is just dinner , dance and cake somewhere else . I told her it means alot to me if she makes this accommodation for Brad.
My sister LOST it! Started screaming that I have always been jealous of her and now trying to ruin her dream wedding . She said I’m jealous because I never had a big wedding and had to elope because I had a kid out of wedlock (I didn’t have to ! It was our decision to have a stress free elopement). She also said it was my choice to marry “a cripple” guy so why should her wedding plans has to change . My mom told her to stop but she kept on going . I told her then I’m not coming . I told Brad and my daughter that we were leaving . I couldn’t stay there anymore . Her entitlement sickens me .
Now my parents are mad at me for even suggesting because “your sister is under stress”. My dad thinks I acted immature by leaving and mom says I overreacted because I’m pregnant and hormonal ! I’m so disappointed at my parents too for not standing up to my sister . My plan is to go NC with my sister. I don’t even know who she is anymore . So no happy update . I just cut my sister out of my life and will NOT be going to her wedding. Sorry for typos I’m very emotional right now
Comments
RNGinx3: SaveBob
Your sister is a jerk, and your parents enable and excuse her tantrums. I'd put sister on NC and parents on LC.
Swampy_63: Let them be mad. Their loss.
Your sister has shown exactly who she is. Bubbye.
Hopefully your parents will come to their senses and understand why you’re not going.
captainhyena12: Wow insult your husband calls him a cripple take shots at both you and your child for the child being born out of wedlock and then your parents have the audacity to tell you you're overreacting because you left what? How the hell does someone even have that much? Audacity and this is coming from me. Someone who admittedly at times has way too much audacity.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

It's time baby. You've been with me 8 years, 6 months, and 13 days since Jared brought you home and you became my cat. My baby. You were only about 2 months old according to the vet so I decided September 1st was your birthday.
Tomorrow we have to part ways. I see that you haven't been feeling well for a little while now. Today really proved that. It was raining, and you didn't even want to go outside. That's not like you Oliver. You love going outside, even in the rain. You're a cat that loves water.
You barely ate today, mostly eating the chicken I brought to you. You spent the day sleeping behind the closet door. I made sure to put your blanket down in there so it was extra soft and comfy.
We spent time together in that cramped little closet today. I've apologized a million times for all the moments I lost my cool with you not because you escaped, yet again, but just because I was frustrated and yelled at you. You didn't deserve that, and I can never take it back. The apologies will never be enough.
We talked about the good times. The time I woke up in the middle of the night sandwiched between you and Bella. My orange boy snuggled up on side, and my pittie, like a block of concrete on the other. Neither one of you budged when I wiggled my way out from under the covers to go pee, or wiggled my way back in. Or the times you climbed the big arborvitae tree in the backyard and made your way onto the garage roof. Or you just climbed up as far as you could go and needed me to come up and get you. You laying on my shoulders when we went to the pet store. The millions of times you came to greet me at the door and launched yourself up into my arms or climbed onto my shoulders from on top of the fridge.
My two favorites being 1) the couple of times you slept under the covers with me. And 2) the time I tried to make you sit with me and watch Oliver and Company. The movie I named you after. You didn't go for it, so I watched it alone.
There's so many more memories that I'll forever cherish. The snuggles, the baths, chasing you around the neighborhood.
Time has flown, and yet it was never enough. You're just snoozing away in the cat climber right now, and tomorrow night when I look up, you won't be there. Not physically anyway. I feel the immense pain of having to lose you. It feels like every fiber of my being is being ripped to shreds. This is worse than childbirth.
It hurts to know Caleb will never really know you. There's a few pictures, and you've let him touch you a couple times. You've even snuggled his head a few times in the nights... after trying to play with and nibble on it. I love him, but I feel horribly guilty that these past 5 months I haven't been able to give you the same amount of love and attention as I used to. Going outside as often as we once did hasn't been easy since moving into the apartment and especially after the baby.
You were never a placeholder. You are now, always have been, and forever will be my first baby Oliver.
Oliver, Ollie, Ol, Pookie, Pooks, Fluffernutter, Fluff, Chonk, Chonker. Fluffernut. Nutter butter. The cat I swear I should have named Dennis the Menace. My orange boy.
I don't want you to go. I don't know how to do this without you. I don't WANT to do it without you. But I promised you I'd always protect you. I'd never let anything happen to you; that Momma's got you. And the truth is, if I let things go the way they've been, I'll have broken that promise. And I'll have been the one who hurt you because I was too selfish to let you go with dignity. I can't do that to you. I won't.
So in the morning, we'll go outside for the sunrise if you're up for it. We'll have some yogurt together. I'll hold you close. And when our time is at the close, I'll be right beside you. In the comfort of our own home. Together, with daddy and Caleb, and Kitty nearby. I'll be with you until the end. Always.
I love you Pooks. More than anything. Thank you for our time together. Come find me again.

Throw away I guess
So you his has been going on for a while but I guess I need some advice cause I don’t know what to do and it’s tearing my family apart.
I (30f) and my husband (35m) have been together for 6 years got married last year. I have two boys and he has one and I am currently pregnant with our final boy at 34 weeks.
He’s been in my children’s life since they were 1 1/2 and 3 months old. He’s a great father figure. This involves my now 6 year olds father. We where never in a relationship and he didn’t want a child to begin with so had been a bit vindictive when it came to custody and court agreements (constantly calling CAS and making things difficult) a couple weeks ago there was an incident at my sons school that no body told me about and the teacher had made a report to CAS and now my husband has been kicked out of the house by them for safety reasons because there have been claims made against him (false obviously) and he’s not allowed to return until an investigation has been completed.
We’re both stressed cause I’m on the verge of popping out this baby and so so tired of this unnecessary drama that baby daddy keeps causing. That I don’t know what to do anymore.
For context he’s literally the only person that has ever called CAS on me and he’s hated my husband since we’ve got together. We also live in Ontario.

The moment a lot of you have been waiting for is here!
A couple of notes before you read (or after because I would just jump into the list right away too)

1. Direct quotes from Ali herself are in italics.
2. I tried my best to keep everything in timeline order. Some people like The Come Back Kid I placed in the order where they reconnected/talked about on the pod. But I did my best to note this.
3. All this information came from the FMH podcast, the Patreon, the original FMH blog, TikTok and other podcast that feature FMH/Ali. I also crossed reference information with this sub. I got most of this done with the help of the Patreon and listening to 1.75x speed but I lost accessed to the Patreon because my subscription ended.
4. I'm open to edits! Things around the matchmaker era confused me and if anything is incorrect or if I'm missing someone, please let me know! I will note where corrections are made.
5. Some people don't have anything simply because only a name was said or I couldn't find any details about the person/date
6. And of course, please be respectful of all the sub rules!

Names on the original FMH blog

• Mr. Adorable aka The Coach
• Trouble
• Waffles
• Future Husband Brian (FHB)
• Cookie
• Peter Pan
• Ambiguous Goodbye Guy
• Bad Bitch Man

AOL chatroom Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok and on the pod once
Myspace Boyfriend
Mentioned on Tiktok
Third Boyfriend
Met on eCrush.com in 2002 and this was mentioned on the Cracked Up podcast, The Dave Glaser Podcast and Tiktok
The Kiwi
Met on a 2 week Model UN type youth trip in high school when Ali was 15, never a boyfriend but she had a huge crush on him, he tried to kiss Ali and she literally ran away, didn’t talk the rest of the trip but exchanged numbers and screen names (Ali’s was FineGal13 or BeachJewel760), she made him a mixtape cd called “Ali’s really cool mix for The Kiwi” but never sent it and she still has it. In 2021, he DM’d her when she posted photos of her and her mom in France and invites her to visit him in London, she says she can’t but says they should catch up if he comes to NYC
Fourth Boyfriend
Met on OkCupid when you had to use it on the computer, this was mentioned on Tiktok
The Homecoming Date or Light Switch
First boyfriend? (she goes back and forth calling him her first bf or a situationship), a family friend, a month younger than Ali, dated in high school but went to different high schools, football player, made him ask her to her Homecoming dance over email (her words), Ali hid in the bathroom the whole Homecoming dance, 3-4 revisits of this situations as adults, saw him on Bumble a few years ago and texted him that he had a typo in his bio, “he very much wanted to be with me” and now he’s married with a kid. His mom is still “obsessed” with Ali and she listens to FMH
Random college guy
Freshman year of college, Ali doesn’t have a nickname for him/doesn’t remember his real name, met this guy through a friend, was texting him to invite him over to hot tub but her phone autocorrected to “how about some hot rubbing tonight?” but Ali didn’t noticed/didn’t correct it and he never replied, Ali had a house party and got really drunk and was all over him, he left the party early, she messaged him on MySpace 3-4 times asking why he left
The Resident
Matched on Match.com, first guy she dated in NYC after college, older than Ali, a doctor, lasted 3 months ”maybe”, he didn’t like Ali’s friends, got a card from him on her birthday and it said “Love, The Resident” and it took Ali back a little, Ali drinks black coffee because of him, he coordinated having her mom visit NYC for her birthday then he broke up with her a week later
The Ghost
Met at a bar when she was 25, turns out they matched on OkCupid and they already had a date scheduled next week, they dated for 6-8 weeks, had sleepovers, “The worst ghosting experience I’ve ever had”, he borrowed The Great Gatsby from Ali’s roommate, planned to make dinner together after a beach trip in August with her friends and never showed up, Ali is blowing up his phone and gets no reply, two weeks later she finally texts “are you alive? check yes or no” and he responds “Yes”, Ali then ask if he could return the book and gets no reply again, 5 months go by and she receives the book in the mail with the note: “Here’s the book back. Sorry. P.S. sorry about last summer. I was in a bad place. You’re a great person and your salmon is amazing”, since then she has ran into him twice on the streets and matched with him on Bumble
The Coach/Mr. Adorable
First serious boyfriend at 26/27 in 2013, matched on Match.com or met through work depending if you’re listening to the pod or reading her OG blog, clean-cut look, played volleyball, Ali invited him to a friend’s birthday party and they made out in the streets at 4am, on their second date he asked Ali if she was seeing any one and when Ali said no he ask her to be his girlfriend 3 days after their first date, dated for almost 1.5 years or almost 2 years depending on if you’re listening to the pod or the Patreon, first time saying “I love you” to a guy, “lovely guy“, never would posted Ali on his instagram until Ali said something, he “lived” with her for two weeks while he was in between apartments, tried blind folding/hair pulling during sex and she didn’t like it, by the end of their relationship Ali didn’t like sex and thought she wasn’t a very sexual person, after they broke up Ali drunk texted him at 2am and he picked her up and she spent the night and she took her things in the morning in a rolly suitcase, from her blog in 2015: “I just want to be careful I don’t end up with another Mr. Adorable situation, where I find myself dating my platonic best friend”, had drinks with him in 2016 from the blog: “Not in a romantic way (at least on my end)”, Ali still talks to him sometimes through casual instagram DMs, he’s currently (as of 2021) dating someone for 4+ years and Ali thinks they’re going to get engaged
Trouble
OG 2015 FMH blog, never mentioned on the pod, “I was immediately enamored with him”, met at a Beer Olympic party but he worked with one of Ali’s best friends (Ali was still dating The Coach at the time), lived in BK, tattoos and stubble, Ali’s best friend said he was a “fuck boy”, “he very much made me see that it was the right thing for me and The Coach to not be together”, from her blog in 2015: “he has this look in his eye like he’s constantly laughing at me – in a super sexy way”, he texted her saying he didn’t see anything romantically with her and she sent a gif of someone shrugging
Personal side note: Ali has mentioned she has cheated on someone but never disclosed who she cheated on or with. I feel like she cheated on Mr.A/The Coach with Trouble because of the timeline. Just a guess.
Waffles
Matched on Bumble, OG 2015 FMH blog, he asked Ali fuck/marry/kill breakfast foods, dated 2 months around summer time, on Fourth of July while watching fireworks he said how they had a great day and Ali replied with something along the lines with “yeah, it would be better if I could call you my boyfriend”, he said he wanted a relationship but just not with Ali and shortly afterwards they stopped seeing each other
The Buffalo
Lived in Buffalo NY, 6’5, Scorpio, met in 2015 at Adults National volleyball (Ali’s team won that year) where he was heckling her while she was playing, asks Ali’s mom for her number and Ali’s mom said “I guess you’re tall enough” and told him to ask her himself, he flew her out and she met his parents, dated over summer, exclusive but never boyfriend/girlfriend (but called him her LD boyfriend on TikTok), texted and talked on the phone a lot, Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “they had really good banter”, in October he invited her to his cousins wedding and she invited him to her friends wedding, after Ali bought her ticket to his cousins wedding (with the promise he would buy her ticket to her friend’s wedding) he ghosted and stonewalled her, she “poured her heart out to him on voicemail” and he never replied, she asked him to pay her back for her ticket and he got mad that she “made this about money”, 2 years later he told Ali that he freaked out because he really liked her and saw a future with her but knew she would never move to Buffalo and it would “never work”, Ali said at the time she would have considered moving for him, Ali used to have him blocked on Facebook and told all her friends not to update her on info about him (unless she asked). He’s now married and goes to Disney with his wife (which Ali kind of scoffs at?), Ali said on TikTok that she dodged a bullet
Baby Bic
Met him at Adults National years ago, had a flirtationship with him in 2016 when he was 19 years old, ran into him at the Adults Nationals 2021, last texts she got from him were about getting his fake ID taken away at the bar and him visiting her in NYC but Ali didn’t want to buy him beer and drink at her apartment
The Chef
Matched on Tinder around 2016, he loved karaoke, “total shit”, asked Ali to be his girlfriend and to meet his mom after a month, off and on dating, broke up the first time because he was talking to his ex, lied and flew to Mexico to see his ex while dating Ali, that ex sent Ali a Snapchat of them in bed together on that Mexico trip, Ali broke up with him via text and called him a shitty boyfriend, he’s the reason Ali deleted her Snapchat because of drunk Snaps he would send post break up, FB messaged Ali 6 years later (while Roark was visiting/staying with Ali) and said sorry for being a shit head. Ali’s best friends hated him
The Dentist
Met on Halloween in the wild, Canadian, dated NYE 2016- May 2017 “nice guy, not my guy”, one of Ali’s best friend’s favorite ex “he adored you, “he was too sweet for me” and “he had no edge to him”, he painted Ali’s cat for her 30th birthday but she was annoyed it was just Rory and not both cats, The Chef texted Ali while on a date/sleeping at his house
ASV - Aspiring Sober Vegan
Met through a friend (her best guy friend’s college roommate) the day before she had to fly out to her dad’s memorial, a doctor, into meditation, remembered him “being cuter” when they went on a first date, felt “the spark”, had “omg this is awesome sex”, Ali described this relationship as a “slow burn” and “the most attracted she ever been to a partner” even thought she didn’t think he was that cute in the beginning, dated 2-3 months before he tried to ghost Ali but they talked and broke up, four months later they start casually dating/FWB because he’s moving but this turns into a ‘middle distance relationship’ and he moves to Philly, had a lot of communication issues but didn't have a lot of fights, wants to live in Ohio and give a % of his income to charity, Ali was close to saying ‘I love you’ but didn’t, he uninvited her to meet his extended family and they got in a fight, broke up with her a couple weeks before their 6 month anniversary at the park while on a picnic and told her that she’s still his favorite person, Ali used to think he was “the one that got away” and would frequently have dreams about him. From what Ali knows, he's sober but not vegan
The Scientist
2017 or 2018ish, from San Diego, went on one date, Ali ended up ghosting him due to the decline in her dad’s health, saw him on Hinge while she was in San Diego for 3 months in 2020, texted him and apologized for ghosting him, ended up going on 2-3 more dates, took a selfie in front of his house and sent it to him but acted like she didn’t know that was his house and made a TikTok about it, things ended up not working but she doesn’t make it clear on who ended it. She can now see she shouldn’t have been going on dates during this time when her dad was sick.
Good on Paper Divorced Dude
Met a couple of years ago (she told this story on TikTok in 2020) on Bumble
The Groomsman
Met at her friend Ashley’s wedding in Chicago Oct 2019, had a “two night stand” with him, texted/talked/FT’d for 3-4 months, divorced, never dated seriously/FWB, saw each other a couple time when he came to NYC, Ali stopped talking with him due to FMH and her trying to find a serious relationship, he starts dating someone, follows FMH on insta, slid into her DM in 2022 and then sent her soup while she was sick, turns out he’s single again, 2 months later Ali is heading to Chicago and texts him “Hello! Reminder that my arrival to your neck of the woods is imminent” and turns out he is now seeing someone and Ali doesn’t see him while in Chicago (at least she doesn’t mention it)
Unnicknamed person
He was her plus one at her best friend from college’s NYE wedding 2019/2020, met and hung out with Ali’s mom, posted photos of them together on her personal Insta story, “fully dating but weren’t official hehe” doesn’t have a nickname/never gave him a nickname? This could be The Latvian/the person she texted her friend in DC about saying “I think I’m on a date with my husband”

Starts FMH on January 2020 on Instagram/TikTok

The Traveler
He was browsing Bumble while Ali was in the bathroom during their first date, he was banned from Bumble and was using his grandma phone number. Ali turned down a second date
The Duke
Early FMH, went for long periods of time in between texts, 7-8 Zoom dates while Ali was in San Diego and he was in NY, Ali said you could see three of his ex’s on his instagram page (without scrolling), they finally went on one date and it was “meh” but they did kiss on their date
The Oyster
Matched on Bumble (he had one photo and no bio) two weeks before Valentines Day, Gemini, a lawyer, part of the 13 First Dates in 30 Days series (he was #13), dated Feb 2020-Aug 2020, love bomber, felt “the spark” and became official after 3 dates, best first date ever??? at the time, said “I love you” to Ali after two weeks, “For most of my relationship with The Oyster, he didn’t live in the city he had moved to Connecticut without telling me”, would fight all the time, opposite political views, Ali felt like a “fucking summer camp director” because she planned all their dates and he would get upset if Ali didn't have a plan, sought out a therapist (Megan) because of her relationship struggles because of him, went to Mass/church, he wanted a traditional marriage/life/wife/kids (at one point had Ali thinking she wanted that), didn’t want to live in NYC, didn’t support BLM, Cindy hated him
The Pilot
Went on 3 dates, texted a lot, didn’t hear back from him in four days and when she said she was looking to date someone who showed more consistency, he replied saying he met someone the day after their last date who seems to have more free time than Ali and he wants to pursue that but would like to be friends, Ali said on TikTok that this other women “bent her schedule to his schedule” and she was unwilling to do that. Mostly talked about him on TikTok
The Analyst
Matched on Bumble two years ago and went on one date, re matched in 2021 and he stood Ali up, she send him a text “getting stood up” script and he never replied. Only mentioned him on TikTok (?)

Ali and Roark start FMH: The Podcast February 2021

The Boomerang
First date on the pod? I couldn't find anything else about him
The Scuba Diver
The Music Man
One date, “he didn’t do anything wrong, he’s just not for me”, amped up small talk, complimented Ali a lot which made her feel awkward cause she wasn’t feeling it, he texted her and asked for a second date and Ali sent the no ghosting script
The Bet
Uses the phrase “ok bet”, 28 years old shoe designer, only went on one dinner date to a spot he picked, turns out its cash only and he didn’t bring cash, was not into him , not looking for the same thing
The Dinosaur
Nickname was previously The Hawaiian, first date at Dinosaur BBQ, stood in a parking spot to save for Ali, he asked for a kiss after their date and Ali declined saying maybe next time
The Rose
He sent her a rose on hinge, first date was an hour long walk in the park while drinking beer
The Comic
Matched on Hinge, older than Ali (Ali’s friends express how happy they were to hear that), had brunch on their first date (was the first part of a double header but the second guy canceled), listed as “moderate” politically on Hinge, good and easy convo, went back and forth twice over text and then never heard back from him, “technically not ghosting...”
The Camper
Met in the wild at a volleyball tournament in July, lives in Chicago, 27 years old, hung out the whole time, over heard Ali asking someone to get her a make out partner, gave Ali his number, drunkly ask him for a FT date in the future and he didn’t reply, Ali texts him again about a volleyball thing and he replied back with not a lot of enthusiasm, Ali is going to Chicago in Sept for a volleyball tournament and she’s already planning on playing 4-on-4 with her best friend vs. his roommate and maybe The Camper, he texts her saying he has to work on the date of the tournament and won’t be able to do the 4-on-4 game, “I feel like I got broken up with someone I never want to date in the first place”

Ali’s Matchmaker contract starts in August 2021 - 6 matches

The Schmoozer
Went on a dinner date, was chatting up the waitress in a kind of creepy way, was bragging about a lot of things and it turned Ali off and Ali texted him her no ghosting script
The Accountant
1st matchmaker match, 31 years old, lives in BK, his dad has also passed away, easy to talk to, on the third date she wasn’t sure if she saw a future with him and in her gut doesn’t feel like this would be a slow burn, Ali breaks things off with him, months (?) later he sent Ali a 5 min long voice memo and they said they were both down to see each other as friends. He later on dated and ghosted Erica
The Aussie
Matched on Hinge, in politics, from Australia but lived all over the place, asked Ali what she’s looking for on the first date and he said he’s “casually looking for something serious”, Ali accidentally walks up to a different person on their second date, Ali texts him saying she would love to see him before he leaves on a trip and she wasn’t happy that it took him till the next day to reply and he can’t see her before he leaves
The Goalie
Was supposed to be Ali’s 2nd match, he’s a paying client, Ali didn’t hear back from him for a while when she told him where she lived, he wrote to the matchmaker saying that she lived too far away even though it states where she lives in her matchmaker profile
The Journalist
2nd matchmaker match, ended things because she was dating/pursuing things with The Discoball and paused her matchmakers matches

The Threepeat
Matched multiple times on dating apps but this recent time with Hinge, Amazon seller, first date was a pizza lunch date (with bubbles aka champagne) and he gave her a single yellow carnation, talked a lot about her “side hustles” aka her food blog, coaching, FMH and the pod (Ali didn’t mentioned the name on FMH), had an awkward half kiss during the date and then gave her a peck when they said goodbye, he had no night stands by his bed?, spent the night but told public pod they had a movie night, different kissing styles, 6 dates, broke things off with Ali two days before her first date with The Rower WHILE Ali was on a Halloween girls trip
The Rower
Dated from Halloween 2021 till early Feb 2022, Pisces who is 6 days older than Ali, has an ex-fiancé (they dated for 8 years, engaged for two of them, she broke off the engagement with him 1.5 years ago once he started dating Ali), has a shared dog with this ex, slept together around Xmas on the fourth date and Ali got a UTI, first time having “omg this is awesome sex” since ASV, first person Ali slept next to wearing an eye mask "that's a big step for me", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, on New Years Day told her that he sees “long term relationship potential” with her but doesn’t want to be exclusive after 5 dates, “we didn’t talk all week”, he said he wasn’t as ready as he though to date someone seriously and “I don’t know why I don’t want to be in a relationship with you” they broke up over the phone, Ali said he’s a good human and wants to date someone like him, 3.5 weeks later Ali drunk texted him at 3:00 am saying “its really hard not to talk to you” which Ali said was a lie, he replied back (few days? A week later?) while Ali was on another date and it made her cry a bit, she replied back saying “the door is closed but not locked” in regards if he wants to get back together. “Fin… for now”

2022

The Discoball
Matched on Hinge but didn’t go on a first date for two week, Gemini, used to be a singer in a band, moved from DC to NYC, went on 7 dates in 2022, had a dog w/ ex and ex got full custody once he moved, met one of his friends on the second date, slept with him on the second date “morning and night”, he tried to find the podcast without knowing the name, podcasted from his house in DC, he would send Ali photos of them together “all the time”, gave a virtual presentation from his hotel room, did Molly together in DC, had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, moved to BK (didn’t see each other for 2 months pre-move), had a sex-less sleepover (a milestone for Ali), he showed up for her on her dad’s death date (something that a person she’s dating has never done), used to listen to the pod but stopped before they stopped seeing each other, ghosted her after they had a talk about moving things forward to exclusive and Ali texted him something along the lines of “your silence is the answer” when she didn’t hear back from him for a week and he ghosted her. Ali said he sucks in #77 AUA
Lisbon
The Brit
M&M
The Come Back Kid
They went on 2-3 dates in Nov 2018 and reconnected in May 2022, "felt immediately comfortable", sat next to a very drunk lady on their second 1st date and was supportive but "didn't step on Ali's toes" when the drunk lady said something offensive to Ali, couldn’t remember if they slept together or not, knows about FMH, ghosted Ali
The Trainer
The Cold Brew
The Nomad
3rd matchmaker match, reminded Ali of The Oyster, wanted kids and didn’t want to live in NYC forever, Ali was upset at first because her matchmaker was supposed to screen for that but the matchmaker DID check and it wasn’t mentioned when she was screening The Nomad, no second date because those are dealbreakers to him
The Catcher
Matched on Bumble, “good not great” after their first date, ~April 2022, talked about sports a lot on their first date
The Gentleman
4th matchmaker match, knew about Ali’s FMH socials before their date, Ali didn’t like his texting style, awkward intro on their first date “like hugging a 2 x 4”, he runs a dating event company and actually email Ali to be a guest on the pod when FMH first started, awkward goodbye, didn’t discuss the actual first date on the main pod because she doesn’t want to give him a reason to reach out again
The Tennis Pro
Ali had a good time on their date, “He is an adult, he’s mature” BUT “I don’t think he was into it”
The Padre
Matched on Bumble, 3 dates, from San Diego, “energy mismatch”, doesn’t want to know or listen to FMH, no psychical connection/kiss, only a kiss on the cheek on their last date, “I haven’t spoken to him since Friday night [a week]”, she didn’t want to do what The Threepeat did to her (break up while on vacation/traveling), she said it might be a MOO

Roark leaves and Erica joins the pod Oct 31st 2022

Captain Kirk
5th matchmaker match, found him on Bumble before their in-person date, ghosted Ali AND the matchmaker???
6th matchmaker match
Last match and Ali states she will not talk about this date or anything about it
JFK Kirk?
Matched on Bumble, didn’t realize he’s located in SD, exchanged personal instagram info, not sure where things went or how things ended

Kirk #1
Met in the wild, make out a lot the night they met, “stealing kisses throughout the night”, exchanged numbers, planned a date (no specifics, just the day) but when Ali texted him day of he asked to reschedule (no specifics again), he replied back that he’s picking up a rental car, told him she’s looking for someone to respect her time and he never replied back

2023

The Falcon
First date of 2023, matched on The League, first nickname was “League Kirk”, hard to talk to, felt like Ali was always reaching for the next topic, likes to travel, “there wasn’t a vibe”, MOO
The Roommate
Used to be her friend’s roommate and have met before (Ali doesn’t remember but it was the day after that exclusive convo with The Rower), “totally cute”, reunited at their mutual friend’s engagement party January 2023, made out at the bar, comes back to her place and sleeps over (no sex), Ali questions why her friends never set them up and its because he was taking a break from dating, first date they made out a lot at the bar (again), “I really felt like we were already a couple”, “It didn’t feel like a first date”, mentions her FMH content has popped up on his FYP, tried texting him after their date and he wasn’t giving effort, she’s glad she didn’t sleep with him because “one night stands aren’t my thing”, MOO
The Belgian
Matched on Bumble, accidentally had their first date during a trivia night at a bar, easy to talk to
The Viking
Ali forgot they had a first date on the day of said date
Tinder Man
Matched on Tinder (duh) on Valentine’s Day, first Tinder date in three years, good convo on first date but got a pushy vibe from him at the second bar they went to, put his hand up her sweater and was kissing her in the bar, made Ali uncomfortable and she told him that after he asked her on a second date
The Historian
Matched on Bumble, good conversation on the first date with a wide range of topics like “urban planning and its impact on feminism”, he’s in grad school
The Georgian
Matched on Hinge, he asked if she was free on Friday and she said yes but didn’t hear back from him in two days and in that time she made plans for Friday, rescheduled for a Saturday afternoon date at a dive bar, ate on her way to her date “it would be next level rude to eat on the subway”, good first date, talked about places he wants to take her to
The Publicist
Matched on Tinder, lives in BK, Jewish, one year younger then Ali, good first date, invited him to the Chaotic Singles Party that night, came over to Ali's apartment (which Ali said was messy) before and he made her favorite cocktail for her, a couple of listeners met him at the CSP, goofy and silly convo mixed with deep and serious convos, second date was at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens and a tasting menu dinner, he made a Resy reservation and Ali got an email saying she was added to it ”fuck receiving gifts, THAT’S my love language”, he's into words like Ali, he sneezed and Ali said "God bless you" but then corrected herself and said "gesundheit" and he leaned over and kissed her and said he loves that she cares about her words, he met her friends on the third date ”It felt so easy. It felt so comfortable”, her friends took “sneaky” picture and videos of them together which Ali said she loves a sneaky pic, took all their date recap videos on his phone, cooked Ali steak on their fourth date, "it's very comfortable", had him watch 90 Day Fiancé, Ali met two of his friends and some of his teammates he plays a rec sport with, had sex the day they took a trip outside of the city, Erica met him before their trip to Greece and I said “he’s dorky in a good way”, WhatsApp video chatted while in Greece and told her “see you in two days!” at the end of their call, said she felt less anxious about him compared to other relationships while on vacation, sent him a birthday present while she was in Greece, felt an energy shift coming back from vacation and didn’t hear back from him 3 days after she came home, Ali requested a call to talk about this distances she was feeling, ”I did the 12 date rule and it didn’t work!”, she said the distance help her see that they’re not compatible, went on a total of 9 dates. Ali talks about the “break up” on episode 123
Mr. Chaotic
Matched on Tinder but he saw Ali at the Chaotic Singles Party and Cassidy the host is there mutual friend, went to a brewery and played games on their first date (Ali said this was her favorite first dates in episode 147 where they recapped 2023), works in entertainment industry, very high energy, knows about FMH and he said she's entertaining to watch, splits his time between NYC and some unknown city, texted while she was in Greece, ”The man gives good texts”
Random Matchmaker Match
Withdrew his match to Ali because he found her FMH socials. Talked about on #71 AUA
Gone with the Wind
Matchmaker match, said some gross things about women in volleyball outfits on their first date, Ali told her matchmaker about this, ”I would describe him as misogynistic overall”, Ali was glad he did say those weird things so early on so she didn’t waste her time, the matchmaker flagged his account. This was around June 2023
The Rock
Ali knows him from an activity that they used to be involved with in the city (she's very vague about what this is) from 8 years ago, he had a very serious/long term GF when they met, follows her personal Insta, has never talked about him because he’s never been a “prospect”, summer 2023 they met up to catch up and found out that he’s now recently single but he’s moving out of NYC for work, Ali texts Cindy saying she thinks this is a date, Cindy said to tell him that you really want to kiss him, he ends up telling Ali “I really want to kiss you”, made out at the bar, Ali invited him back to her apartment and they had sex the night before Ali ended things with The Publicist, “one night stand vibes” but she said she was down to do it again, Patreon only and talked about on #75 AUA
The Tourist
Matched on Hinge, just moved to Brooklynn, went to a brewery in BK for their first date, Ali showed up to the date dripping in sweat, allergic to cats, he sent Ali a ‘no ghosting’ text the next morning
The Stout
Matched on Bumble, ”we had really great banter right away”, laughed the whole time on their first date, talked about going on a second date during their first date
Speed Racer
Matched on Bumble, drinks first date, axe throwing second date, made out after their second date, MOO, randomly texted Ali ~6 months later because he said one of Ali’s date recap videos about him popped up on his FYP (Ali and Erica think this is a lie), he thought Ali wasn’t into him, he claims he was doing all the work with texting even though there was only a few messages since they exchanged numbers after their second date
Billy Joel
Recently sober, Ali said she felt like they had several inside jokes before they met in person, ate pizza on her way to their first date, second date was getting coffee and going to the museum, they cooked dinner together for their third date at Ali’s apartment and they watched 90 Day Fiancé (he didn’t like it), he Googled how to clean a red wine stain when it spilled on her countertop, he asked if she wanted to have sex and she turned it down, the next day/the day before a 7am flight Ali booty called him and they had sex, she was drunk and said the sex wasn’t good/they stopped mid way, helped Ali pack for her flight, Ali said he’s at a crossroad and he doesn’t seem like a long term fit, Erica found a condom on the ground while cat sitting, Ali said she didn’t regret hooking up with him but wishes she hadn’t done it, MOO
Sales Cycle
30 seconds in and Ali said he was very boring, only really talked about his job, stared at Ali’s boobs, “might be a MOO”, texted her ‘merry christmas’

2024

Pie Guy/Dr. Laundry
Matched on The League, 34 years old, requested a nickname change from Pie Guy to Dr. Laundry, he had to cancel their second date because he got hit by a car, went on two dates, Ali sent him a pic of his subway stop saying something along the lines of “the stop isn’t looking as cute today” and turns out someone he dated with in that photo, were supposed to go on a third date the night she got back from a bachelorette party but he didn't answer her text when she said she landed, the next day he asked her how her trip was not acknowledging her previous text at all, Ali expressed her disappointment and he replied that he was tired last night, she said she would've been understanding if he said something then ghosted her
Andddd I stopped listening to the podcast around the Dr. Pie Laundry Guy but have stayed up to date with everything via this sub.
I have a huge interest in dating culture, human behavior and data similar to Ali and this little project of mine was really interesting once I got the framework of this list. I started this list once I found this sub in December 2023 and started re listening to the Patreon while working out (and lost 10 lbs ayeee) and writing down information in my notes app. I did my best to keep this list unbiased and just give facts and information that was said.
My own thoughts after making this list is that I'm very sad for Ali. I didn't realize the extent of her dating history. I think about my own dating history or even my friends who are in their 30's and dating and Ali's dating lore runs so deep. Is Ali unlucky with love? Did she pass on someone that could have been great for her? How has she had so many dates with little success in a long term partner or even going beyond 6-8 dates? Or is Skyline the person she has been waiting for? What's the pattern with all this dates/men? So many questions.
I truly do hope Ali finds her guy because I believe theres someone for everyone. Until then, I'll be hopping into this sub (cause y'all are too funny and give the best advice) and waiting for Ali to find Mr. Height.
Enjoy and I look forward to everyone thoughts! I'll keep my eye out for any edits that need to be made.
Bonus quotes:
“Longest relationship was a little under a year and a half. Haven’t made it past 6 months with anyone else” - AUA #7 11/27/21
“I spent the first 10+ years of my dating life being sort of perennially single” -1. The Actual First One episode 2/21/21
"I think my parent's story is the reason why I think that I can romantically get back together with an ex and it'll work out" -The Dave Glaser Podcast 4/5/21
“Almost every relationship I’ve ever been in, with a couple of exceptions, started as a situationship.” -21. The Undefined One 7/11/21
“All of my boyfriends have been white” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“You definitely need an older guy” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“I’ve been on the dating apps since high school. Dating websites at the time” -Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Who would be the perfect man for Ali?”
“Clearly a combination of the The Dentist and [the early stages of] The Buffalo” -Cindy on Ali’s BFF Special on Patreon 4/23/22
“Do you consider The Rower or Disco ball to have been situationships?”
“No, I don't consider either The Rower or The Disco Ball to be situationships” -question asked on TikTok 11/9/22