So I’ll be upfront and say I’m a spoiled unethical lover with severe trauma and depression, CPTSD, etc. I know I’m horrible and I want to be better.
I left my devoted husband (together with a privileged lifestyle and visa) for this woman (my partner, 38F) four years ago and we’ve been in a relationship where I’ve had occasional sex with other people and emotional affairs (crushes) with her knowing. (She agreed to open relationship but she never acted on it cause it was mostly my idea). I was going through a particularly difficult time (divorce, bankruptcy, deaths and illness in the family, mental illnesses, losing my visa, etc) while she stood by me and endured everything. She’s a very caring, patient, supportive person and takes care of me in many ways. Our relationship is less based on sex rather than emotional bond and understanding.
About a year ago, while I was going through the approaching death of a family member (and neglecting her and stressing her a lot), one of my friends (31F, let’s call her C) became our mutual friends and started spending lots of time with her. I could sense that they developed a special bond and connection my partner began to prioritize her over me sometimes. She became somehow emotionally distant and deeply invested in this new friendship. This all happened after I acted on my attractions to other people so I definitely deserved much worse.
Things blew up on our trip (my partner and I and C and another friend). This friend C is an attention seeker and a the kind of character that has to be the center of everything. My partner and the other friend just let her have her ways. I wasn’t happy cause it didn’t seem fair that she decided the whole trip to her liking. So I left abruptly and my partner chose not to come with me. In the end, C and I got into a fight during which she completely lost it, threatening to “kill me” and getting violent (to be fair, she’s not an emotional stable person either and has lots of trauma of her own). C and I cut ties after the trip but my partner kept talking to her, remaining their bond because she had become an important friend to her.
We fought a few times about it cuz it hurts me but she refused to cut contact with C saying it’s her freedom to socialize. She thinks I’m jealous of C because she’s more successful career-wise (which is kind of true but come on she threatened to kill me). Anyway, C moved out of the country and I realized recently my partner made secret phone calls with her. She’s never lied to me before to my knowledge and that’s when I think it’s officially an emotional affair and I broke up with her. She didn’t deny she had feelings for C however she didn’t need to mention the people I had feelings for and remained friends with (and even had sex with once or twice).
I know our relationship hasn’t been functioning well for a long time because of my problems and she’s been hurt a lot. She said it’s been very unfair and difficult for her to deal with my dark emotions and she just wanted an emotional outlet. (They’ve never had sex or talk about sex or anything, I’m sure of that.)
But I think I’m finally getting better now and it seems a pity to throw away it all after so much has happened. I love her and rely on her emotionally. She told me she couldn’t stop crying and loves me so much and will continue to but she will accept if we end the relationship for now (we’ve talked about separating for a few time before the phone calls, there are other factors). She’s really sorry she’s hurt me.
I’m not sure what to do right now. My friend says don’t let her go you love each other. And indeed this relationship is in many ways very special and worth fighting for.
Any thoughts, please?

1. Why did you get in ?

I'm sure a large majority of got in because the appeal of gains (MONEY) And why wouldn't that be one of the main reasons You make a gamble To get more Right. For me what first interested me in this endeavor was the idea of the movement and the passion that I felt burned inside me when I read more about this. And I decided to get in to try and make a difference and of course make some money.

1. Why did you stay in?

I was up 7k+ awesome just a couple of grand and I watched it dwindle after lunch and then like the rest of you I got scared. I'm completely new to this and I do not really have the funds to lose that much which will lead me to my third bonus question. So like very many of you I'm sure I sold the majority of my shares to break even.

1. Why did you get back in?

It was like 3:05 p.m. and it was still dropping dropping dropping I got back in the subs and started seeing people post and I felt something that I could only call almost Divine wash over my body and almost force me to hit the buy button for even more than I started with. I'm in it for the movement, I'm in it to stand up for something. After I confirmed the Buy I was completely worry free I felt lighter than before even. Let me explain a little something about myself all this was occurring while I was working a 12-hour shift at a sawmill and a small town. It probably took me close to a year to save up the money that I did put in. Some might call that irresponsible but I think it's the opposite. And I am a cheap son of a b****. My wife can barely get me to buy a pair of boots so that I'm comfortable while I work 3:12s at a sawmill every week and then work on my Homestead the other four. We live incredibly modestly and all I do is try to save so I can do something for my family but that's the mindset of a poor person because of poor person either spins or saves money but a wealthy person makes their money make MORE money. And again that's not even the main thing on my mind I would rather Break Even or lose but see this on the news to inspire another round of people to realize that even though the system is rigged we don't always lose and that could inspire a massive movement. So if this has ease your mind or made you feel a little bit better about your decisions then share it and maybe we can send it down the line and ignite a metaphysical explosion to motivate this so very many people around the world that struggle to get in on this make a statement and then maybe they can do even more good with what they come ahead with and so on and so on. Have faith, stand together. We can't lose.

Inspired by a Locked on Hawks podcast between Brad Rowland and Tyler Jones, I think it’s a good topic for the sub.
Schlenk’s vision was a roster full of guys who can “dribble, pass and shoot.” It became a meme and he wasn’t perfect, but he believed in it. Nate took over and had our boys playing a style that didn’t fit the roster Schlenk built AT ALL but that’s a conversation for another time.
What is this front office’s “dribble, pass and shoot?” I would argue that so far, we haven’t seen them make any move that tells us what their vision is. We’ve seen some great decisions in DJ and OO’s contracts. Not rushing to resign Bey put us in a better position post-injury. And we’ve seen some cost-cutting moves that are surely ownership-driven. But none of those tell us how they want this team to play. “Hawks DNA” is cool corporate speak and I’m sure they value character, but how do they want this team to PLAY?
Quin was hired mid-season without waiting to talk with other teams. Considering his exit from Utah, I don’t think he’s doing that without getting significant input. He had us start the season playing “show and recover” defense on PNRs, but we didn’t have the personnel to recover. We got lost in the switches and gave up open shot after open shot. As the season went on we were forced into more drop coverage, relying on Clint to make up a lot of ground. Throughout this, Quin commented frequently on our lack of size.
In Utah, Quin built a top defense around Gobert as the anchor. They did play a lot of drop coverage because it fits Gobert best. This new show and recover scheme fits Sarr and Jalen best. They have the athleticism to show on the screen and stop the ball, then recover onto their man and keep Trae out of switches. I believe this is Quin’s vision for a strong defense around Trae.
Regardless of what we do, we need to make moves this offseason that establish a coherent vision of what they want this team to be. We can’t be caught in decision paralysis where we wait too long to make moves, ANY MORE. Drafting Sarr would show me that we have a clear direction and our FO is building a roster that matches what Quin wants to do.
If you don’t want to draft Sarr - say you like someone else, or you want to trade down or trade for a star. What is your vision for the team’s identity?

Hey there !
I'm still kind of new in photography (started a year ago on motorsport photography and I've started doing wedding photography to pay up for the gear this year) Both domains requires me to take a lot of burst (or at least is a great tool to get the money shot) and I'm usually with thousands of shots to sort...
What are some good tips to speed up and ease out the sorting process ?
I'm shooting with a Canon 650D and editing with Lr Classic and I'm OK using paid softwares but rather go the opensource way if there is any good solution

I had a dream and during the dream I thought it was irl. So I walked into like this birthday party dance club type thing and saw Kanye. The first thing I asked was if he knew gas and he responded “nah but I smoke that gas” so then I saw Ty and we talked about how Kanye loves his fans and is finishing music at a rapid pace, Then all of a sudden I heard Kanye yell NEW MUSIC OUT SUNDAY.

Hey 21 M here! I’m looking for a someone fun and open minded. I like watching tv shows, making TikTok’s, looking up stuff on Pintrest, fashion, cooking, geography, working out and also learning languages amongst other things. I’m currently a college student, but altho as soon as I get the chance I want to travel to different countries, go on adventures and try new stuff. I like talking about different kinds of topics such as history and just general day to day stuff. And then doing fun little activities like watching movies online together, exchanging postcards and playing some card games asw. I’d like to meet people from Turkey, Algeria, Egypt or Ireland. Even if you aren’t from those countries or my interest aren’t exactly the same as you, you can still text me. So if you’re intersted, hmu and we can get to know each other! :)

Me and my partner have recently got new jobs and will be saving around £3.5-4.5k per month after all of our expenses.
What should we do whilst we are saving? Utilise ISA's, open a joint account, have separate savings accounts? These are all things I have heard of but I am not very familiar with any of it. What kind of saving account should we go for?
We have a few objectives over the next 6-24 months which require us to be able to have access to our savings so I am not looking for anything that would require us to 'lock-in' our money.
We are both under 30 and luckily do not have any large expenses at the moment so get to save a majority of our incomes.
Any advice would be appreciated.

I was wondering what the consensus was regarding DLC (if such a thing exists). What's the best and what's the worst out of the following DLC.
Fallout 3: Point Lookout, Operation Anchorage, The Pitt, Mothership Zeta
Fallout New Vegas: Dead Money, Honest Hearts, Lonesome Road, Old World Blues
Fallout 4: Far Harbour, Nuka World
Note: I excluded Broken Steel, and Automatron, not because they were bad, but because for me a DLC should be like a small expansion, and those DLC felt like a few extra quests and locations. Not hating them.

Is it normal to have male friends sneak diss you? Answer ; NO. For too long I thought I was just being sensitive and that guys just talk shit. Now I’m just disappointed and disgusted by it.
I cut things off with a cis gay guy who I’ve know for a while because of how insecure he came off. All his friends recently left him and he has a history of using ppl and just being a dick all around. He’d throw in back handed compliments to me like “idk how you eat so many carbs and still have abs” as if I don’t work a trade , go to the gym and do other active things outside of work. For context he used to be fat and is now skinny fat. He also admitted to having filler put in his face.
Any time id share something I was proud off like saving up for school on my own or not worrying about getting a new job because I’m confident in my ability and work ethic it was either crickets or he’d try and down play it. He has a criminal record and is allergic to hard work lol. I think the cherry on the cake was when I recently bought a somewhat rare car and got more compliments when we drove late at night lol. At the car meet as we passed the motorcycles, I said that Im looking at starting on an R3 … he said it was a bitch bike. The list goes on. He just had a way of shitting on others when they had something positive going on in their life but would swear he was hot shit even if he wasn’t.
Playful jokes I get. I joke around with my coworkers everyday but this guy is something different. I felt like shit every time I was around him and it got to a point where I realized I had more to offer him then the other way around. I’m saying all this to say, this shit is exhausting and I wouldn’t do it to others so why allow it for myself. And don’t get me wrong I’ve said shit back but deep down that’s not the kind of relationship I want with a “friend”. I have too much shit on my plate to stroke the ego of a man child.

please share your thoughts!!!!!!!
alright, ive finished the game around a month ago but have spent the past month LIVING off of hl memes and ominis content, so i still remember most of the game vividly.
i think theres foreshadowing to a sequel, here's why:

• if you dont turn in sebastian and talk to him, he'll understand your pov on the goblins and listen. if you do hand him in, ominis will talk to him and report that this has only made him angrier (..for whatever reason). this made me curious, because, well, by the time you do this quest it should be almost endgame, hell for some people they do the 'in the shadow of the...' quests AFTER endgame. it just seems an odd detail to add rather than 'oh yeah i talked to sebastian and he understands and hes sorry, the end'. maybe the devs set this up for a conflict point in the future, if you hand him in, for a sequel (or more likely a dlc).

-anne sees what sebastian has done to solomon, and this deathly sick (!!!) girl runs away to... where, exactly? again we get conflict that hasnt been resolved.
-less glaringly important but we get almost nothing about ominis. in the house cup bit hes just sitting down despondently because hes just lost his only friend and has to go back to his abusive family, who used crucio on him. also, ominis is quite vague about said family. leaves an open space that can be filled in with a sequel, because i would actually give my right eye to learn more about the gaunts ;)
-the MOST obvious plot hole - sebastian, in his usual delusions, seems to convieniently forget our emotional undercroft heart-to-heart about 'ill use ancient magic to save anne', before he goes and harnesses the power of a dark relic that causes only desctruction. (i ADORE seb but ominis is just so much better im sorry ;-; )YES i know theres the whole 'theyll become husks with no emotion if you take away pain', but sebastian hasnt been TOLD that. for all he knows, WE are the answer!! but nooo he must control the inferi because he is a teenage edgelord and nobody understands him. so yet again, unresolved conflict that could be saved for another time!!
-another huge plot thing - i personally went mostly goodie-goodie (except the unforgivables because come on!) in my first playthrough as a slytherin (going as an evil gryffindor next, lol). so this means i left the power of the resevoir alone. BUT! i have seen playthroughs where the resevoir is taken for the players own personal gain. is there any difference?... ...literally no. which is just ??? so maybe in additional gameplay, we could learn to 'hone' whatever new skills this grants us (more sequel-worthy than dlc-worthy, imo.)
-more a dlc thing, but quidditch. need i say more?
my thoughts:
there is enough material here to make a worthy sequel.
not only did hl DESTROY its sales expectations (even with the boycott), its been so popular that it has a subreddit with over 300k people (thats where we are now weee), which is kinda insane for a 'spin-off' game.
they would be stupid NOT to make a sequel or dlc, considering the absolute bank they made from this one + they now know what people want, meaning the next game would be even better.
the plot could be-

• you start 6th year as normal. you'd probably be on the train because no special entrance for you! you're slumming it with the normies now. if youve handed sebastian in last game then hes not here and you can skip anything to do with him until i say so.

-if you didnt, seb is still here. he thanks you for all you've done, blah blah blah, and acknowledges the goblins innocence. hes worried sick for his sister who has ran away and wants to find her. you are dumb and havent learned your lesson (duh), so no matter what you say he'll convince you to help once you've found your feet in sixth year.
-ominis walks into your compartment. he looks terrible. you ask him if he's alright and he slips some gaunt lore about his family and on their.. ideas of fun, because come on i have a mad obsession with this dude, and if im the one writing this plot, we're getting ominis angst, suck it up. if youve handed in sebastian, itll just be you two. there'll be a train cutscene and boom, you're at school.
-this is where it gets tricky.
IF youve handed in sebastian. he'll be in prison. youll probably get some angsty moments and npc quotes along the lines of 'he seemed like such a good kid'.
if you HAVENT handed him in, the story gets weird, because a) more awkward time with seb because hes free and 2) he knows the goblins are mostly good. the actual hl doesn't have this big of a rift, so its hard to say what happens. however, its good because it gives us loads of choice, the lack of which in hl caused a lot of complaints.
-if he's in prison, sebastian escapes,(not azkaban, gotta keep with the canon. maybe because he is a minor he is sent to a lesser facility.) still blaming the goblins and holding such a hatred for them now that in his eyes, they escaped punishment and that it's his job to kill them all while extorting the cure for anne OR finding us to cure her.
-if he's free, we can either have a storyline of him NOT learning his lesson and maybe going to prison then instead of after he commits uncle-cide (dark magic go brr, because sister is gone) or some other storyline that would be more about our magic (!) and ominis' story.
-for the latter to happen, we'd have to have taken the resevoir's power. OR we can make up a rowling-worthy excuse of 'well MC was exposed to the resevoir power for too long so even though they left it alone it still diffused into them or something! [happy]'. i honestly dont know, this is why i want YOUR THOUGHTS!!!
-to make the selection pool shallower, lets go with the excuse. this will allow us to have seb's story, our magic story and also some ominis story (i am obsessed.)
-whether seb escapes or is already free matters, but in the end its the same result - hes not in prison. the only difference is that free seb doesnt hate goblins, and isnt on the run, and vice versa for escapee seb. both want to find anne and cure her. both now remember you have the capacity to do so (but they dont know about the taking-away-pain-turns-them-into-living-husks thing).

• we could go with the 'find escapee seb and convince him we're right and he believes us and everything goes back to normal' route, but boring.

-maybe escapee seb finds us, and ropes us into the same 'help-me-find-anne' crap free seb does to us on the train. yes, that means we dont have a choice, but there has to be SOME adventure. the goblin-hatred would def play in somehow - its too specific of a thing to include in the endgame to just leave it be like that! maybe his hatred causes him to do unforgivable things to some innocent goblins and he has a 'mAyBe Im ThE mOnStEr' epiphany moment, who knows. maybe it ties in to something bigger.
-the main story would then be along those lines. im still brainstorming the climax and ending but nobodys gonna read this anyway lmfao
-main quests would consist of lessons, sebastian-is-a-little-too-obsessed-with-anne-quests, and honing our magic.
-side quests would be mainly ominis-centric regarding his family/the gaunts, with a decent lot of poppy and garreth. we've already resolved natty's entire life at this point tbh💀💀💀.
-id like to think there's a happy ending. idk what will happen to escapee sebastian, will he go to prison or not?? this is literally the equivalent of a crackfic in my head, i WAS NOT expecting to write this much when i started writing this.
SO AGAIN GIVE ME YOUR THOUGHTS. PLEASE. ON EVERYTHING FROM THE PLOT TO MY SEQUEL THEORIES TO FEATURES AND INCONSISTENCIES. THANK YOU!!
nowww some features!:

• quidditch, because yes
  
• morality systems would be a bit null here considering we're literally helping an escaped convict. but uh, we can try! just, like, dont cast the unforgivables everywhere you go ;)
  
• friendship systems with all side quest characters. like going from ehhh... to hellooo! with a side character would be awesome. the one thing hogwarts MYSTERY of all things got right was this.
  
  • friendship and enmity systems BETWEEN characters, like, every sebastian needs their ominis ok. plus i want to help ominis bully puffskien dunkein I BEG, you cant tell me they dont have some rivalry going on ;-;

-romance? idk, not a romance person, this is for you sebastian fangirls to figure out for yourselves
-prejudice. literally what made harry potter, harry potter. there is like ONE audio with a negative view towards muggle-borns, and ONE that uses the word mudblood to my knowledge. everyone's just ok with everyone now? do malfoys and other death-eater's grandaddies not go to school here??? hello??????? this could and SHOULD be a topic for discussion in game or maybe even a side quest or side quest chain.
-extra but when/if seb escapes it should be on the daily prophet that ominis will show us in the undercroft or smth, i dunno
inconsistencies with my plot:

• loads of things havent been planned out. this is like a professional crackfic. (still has better plot than the cursed child though lets be honest :3 )
  
• everyone is easily convinced 'oh ok lets find your sister even though youre a dangerous escaped convict!'. sorry.
  

-itll be hard to mash everything in. but a half-assed plot is still a plot <:
-since its a continuation of 5th year, we already know many spells. there arent many useful ones left. HOWEVER!!! we can consult the fandom spell page, take offensive spells and stat boost them more than the 5th year ones >:) ALSO YOU LEARN ABOUT DARK ARTS IN 6TH YEAR, SO. ominis is not gonna have a fun time with those ones 💀
-because we'll be searching for anne, like the actual hl game, less school time, :( sorry
-everyones just ok with us disappearing (if seb is an escapee). someone should pull a hermione and go 'hmm, MC starts disappearing shortly after sebastian escapes, and they never say what they're doing. probably ominis or poppy because a) favouritsm on my part and b) ominis knows us best and i headcanon poppy as knowing us well and knowing the dark arts and how theyre used a tad bit more than she gets credit for.
-loads of other things i havent seen, SO

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SHARE THOUGHTS, THIS TOOK ME AN HOUR TO WRITE AND I ONLY WROTE IT TO SEE WHAT PEOPLE THINK! TYSM

youre all amazing yayayayayaya

Hi there, this will be a bit long. I appreciate you reading it all lol :)
I’m only looking for women
What I’m Looking For:
I’m looking for someone to make a connection with, and hopefully become something serious and last forever :) I want someone I can give all of me to and share my life with. I can talk to you about anything, and just fully be myself with and don’t have to hold anything back. Someone I can share my deepest thoughts with, and most unhinged parts XD. And they also share with me all of them. I’ve always dreamed of being fully known and understood by someone. Someone loving me for all of me, and loving someone for all of them. I have a world of love to give and want someone I can shower in it. I’m a hopeless romantic, after everything I’ve been through I still choose to believe true love is real and I’ll have it one day.
I want something that will truly last forever through anything. “Ride or die” is such a cringe term to me lol, but that’s what I’m really looking for. I have an unshakable loyalty when I’m committed to someone. My love is almost unconditional when I’m locked in.
Only message if you’re sure looking for something serious.
Do not message me if you ever ghost people If you’re not feeling it I would appreciate you telling me.
A little bit about me.
I’m a INTJ 5w4, and personality wise, I’m like 2 different people lol. Emotional and logical. I can be really sweet and wholesome. Supportive, the kind of person that will always be there for you. I’m also extremely affectionate both physically and with words. I’ll always talk about how much you mean to me :) But I also can be a quite overly logical jerk lol. Best of both worlds I guess. When I’m comfortable I can be really goofy and loud, and give crackhead energy, but in the beginning I’m really quiet and reserved. I try to be positive and nonjudgmental, while also being very strongly opinionated XD.
I also can be pretty dark. I have a good mixture of being wholesome and dark lol. It’s weird
I’m a contradiction but I love that about myself. You shouldn’t message me if you’re easily scared away, I am a pretty eccentric person generally lol I can ramble about weird/random stuff, and be pretty extra sometimes. I can talk in a kind of unfiltered way. I don’t want to have to hold those things back lmao.
Important tidbits. * I have a fear of abandonment and anxious attachment style. * I am obsessive and clingy when I fall for someone. (Not in a crazy way) lol * I am left leaning on most things. * Strictly Monogamous * Agnostic atheist. * I have BPD, we can talk about what that entails * In college for accounting * I have a pretty dark humor XD
Looks wise: I’m black, 5’2, very masc presenting, I have a short haircut and dress masc. I am def plus size, but definitely not like huge lol and currently losing weight as well :)
Interests: Gaming, true crime docs, horrothriller movies, I love all kinds of music. Particularly R&B, rock/metal, and Kpop though XD. I watch a lot of YouTube and tiktok. Working out/going to the gym, as I’ve recently started a new fitness journey. I’m kind of huge homebody tbh, wanting to get out more and have new experiences.
Who I’m Looking For:
Looks don’t matter much to me. You can be fem or masc.
Personality wise: I like a lot of different personalities. Some important traits though would be having emotional intelligence, Someone patient and caring. Also having a good logical side is very very important to me. As I said above I’m pretty affectionate and clingy so I’d match best with someone also like that lol. You can be introverted or extroverted. But too extroverted won’t be a match.
Age 22 to 40. I am from Chicago in the US, but I would love to talk to women from anywhere. I’m open to relocate anywhere gay mar riage is legal lol
Thank you for reading all of this. If you’re interested please message me a little about you. :)

I'm someone who has trouble making friends. I usually prefers staying alone than with other people, even though it's not like I actually despise others. There are occasions when I have to have lunch/dinner with people from my family and other people, maybe friends, and after some time I tend to get a bit overwhelmed and tired when someone tries to have a conversation with me at the table but I try to keep a poker face and smile and answer since obviously they don't have bad intentions. I also tend to feel pretty bored during these times, since most people at the lunch table are older or way younger than me most of the time so the conversation they make are not really interesting to me. Usually during these family reunions I tend to disappear after some time and go rest somewhere in the house where there's nobody to feel a bit at ease. This feeling is something I feel when I'm with a group of people, especially if I don't know them that much. Also when I have to greet new people. Basically when I have to talk to people sometimes even though I feel tired oand want to stay alone I feel like I have to fake my emotions since I also don't want to be rude, but I even found that a bit tiresome so after some time I usually distanciate myself from them or if I really can't do that I just dissociate. So... Does anyone else feel like this? Tbh it might be just introversion but either way I'm not trying to find an answer to what it is, but more about who relates to my experience.

Hi everyone... I'm a little new to this subreddit so bare with me.
I'm only 25. I had a laproscopic hysterectomy last year in April due to a sudden scare I had where I was dropping multiple blood clots the size of my shower drain, causing me to be dizzy and almost pass out from blood loss. Went to the ER and eventually a gyno and found out I had the extremely early stages of cancer. At 25. I wanted to cry. I was given the option of just keeping in an IUD that had been placed as a shitty "bandaid" after a biopsy but risk the cancer getting worse so that way I could have kids when I was ready, or to just yank the whole thing now. Obviously you know which option I picked.
I'm only 25 and I still feel so shit about it. I can never make the choice to have kids - not that I wanted any, but having that choice ripped away because of cancer is something that's weirdly painful. I can't describe it.
At any rate, my ovaries were left in to prevent me from going into menopause. But now I'm having a major issue that's driving me up a wall and I don't know what to do.
I've gained like 25 pounds since my operation. I feel disgusting in my own body at 228 while only 5'1". I was already trying to lose weight PRE OP. Now I can't lose it. I barely eat more than like 2,000 calories a day, IF THAT and the amount needed to maintain my weight is like 2,700. I'm in like a 700 calorie deficit and I'm into exercise 3 times a week now and it's still not enough. I keep gaining. Even typing this I want to start sobbing just thinking about it. My fiance says he likes my chub but this isn't chub anymore I'm just huge. I hate it so much.
I talked to a nurse on the phone since my doctor's office is closed on the weekends for my gyno and they said I should probably do a follow up with them to have some lab work done because it could be related to my thyroid and hormone stuff and I don't know what to do. 😭 Has anyone else experienced this? I feel so alone.

I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…

The Lost Legion We are Legion moritūrī tē salūtant -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lost Legion or TLL in short is looking for both experienced and new players to grow our ranks and make new friends along the way. Where hoping to build a nice fighting force made up of all the roles in the verse. No matter if your interested in being a med player or you just wanna shoot some stuff we will welcome you with open arms. Ofc players that wanna mine or salvage are also just as welcome. We are trying to create a place that is welcome to all the citizens in verse. We also run events with our friends from the alliance (Potestas Imperium) so expect some fun stuff to happen from time to time. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Things to know

• Most of our ppl are from the EU/USA so we will be active around those time zones, The Asian side still need to grow a bit more, but its growing slowly
• The USA/Asian side are in need of new active mods, so if you might be interested in being a mod in a growing org lmk and we can have a talk about it. (TLL-robskuuu)
• We are a grey orientated org (That still means grieving for no reason is not allowed, but play all sides of the game without having to worry about rules)
• If your new to the verse, you can always request a guide from the higher ranking players within the org
• All discord channels are locked behind roles (that's why it can seem empty when entering for the first time, a role will be given to you as fast as possible so the discord opens up for you :D)
• age restricted 18+ only

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Our goals for the future

• When its time in the verse to have you own base and territories we would like to own a little place to call home
• We will aim to get capital ships as soon as they drop to support the alliance in events and to explore the verse
• When there is sufficient interest we will give trainings to new players (you can already request a guide if your new)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------- Are you ready to reinforce our ranks? click the link and you'll be directed to our ORG page! : https://robertsspaceindustries.com/orgs/LEGIONEU Discord: https://discord.gg/xBqkZbT8e9
https://preview.redd.it/bc7vyh801e1d1.png?width=985&format=png&auto=webp&s=be9905741a82db12bf8d0c7846564028699ac9d1

Hi there, this will be a bit long. I appreciate you reading it all lol :)
What I’m Looking For:
I’m looking for someone to make a connection with, and hopefully become something serious and last forever :) I want someone I can give all of me to and share my life with. I can talk to you about anything, and just fully be myself with and don’t have to hold anything back. Someone I can share my deepest thoughts with, and most unhinged parts XD. And they also share with me all of them. I’ve always dreamed of being fully known and understood by someone. Someone loving me for all of me, and loving someone for all of them. I have a world of love to give and want someone I can shower in it. I’m a hopeless romantic, after everything I’ve been through I still choose to believe true love is real and I’ll have it one day.
I want something that will truly last forever through anything. “Ride or die” is such a cringe term to me lol, but that’s what I’m really looking for. I have an unshakable loyalty when I’m committed to someone. My love is almost unconditional when I’m locked in.
Only message if you’re sure looking for something serious.
Do not message me if you ever ghost people If you’re not feeling it I would appreciate you telling me.
A little bit about me.
I’m a INTJ 5w4, and personality wise, I’m like 2 different people lol. Emotional and logical. I can be really sweet and wholesome. Supportive, the kind of person that will always be there for you. I’m also extremely affectionate both physically and with words. I’ll always talk about how much you mean to me :) But I also can be a quite overly logical jerk lol. Best of both worlds I guess. When I’m comfortable I can be really goofy and loud, and give crackhead energy, but in the beginning I’m really quiet and reserved. I try to be positive and nonjudgmental, while also being very strongly opinionated XD.
I also can be pretty dark. I have a good mixture of being wholesome and dark lol. It’s weird
I’m a contradiction but I love that about myself. You shouldn’t message me if you’re easily scared away, I am a pretty eccentric person generally lol I can ramble about weird/random stuff, and be pretty extra sometimes. I can talk in a kind of unfiltered way. I don’t want to have to hold those things back lmao.
Important tidbits. * I have a fear of abandonment and anxious attachment style. * I am obsessive and clingy when I fall for someone. (Not in a crazy way) lol * I am left leaning on most things. * Strictly Monogamous * Agnostic atheist. * I have BPD, we can talk about what that entails * In college for accounting * I have a pretty dark humor XD
Looks wise: I’m black, 5’2, very masc presenting, I have a short haircut and dress masc. I am def plus size, but definitely not like huge lol and currently losing weight as well :)
Interests: Gaming, true crime docs, horrothriller movies, I love all kinds of music. Particularly R&B, rock/metal, and Kpop though XD. I watch a lot of YouTube and tiktok. Working out/going to the gym, as I’ve recently started a new fitness journey. I’m kind of huge homebody tbh, wanting to get out more and have new experiences.
Who I’m Looking For:
Looks don’t matter much to me. You can be fem or masc.
Personality wise: I like a lot of different personalities. Some important traits though would be having emotional intelligence, Someone patient and caring. Also having a good logical side is very very important to me. As I said above I’m pretty affectionate and clingy so I’d match best with someone also like that lol. You can be introverted or extroverted. But too extroverted won’t be a match.
Age 22 to 40. I am from Chicago in the US, but I would love to talk to women from anywhere. I’m open to relocate anywhere gay marriage is legal lol
Thank you for reading all of this. If you’re interested please message me a little about you. :)

Hi everyone, I managed to stay off reddit for like a week, well, not managed but did not feel the need to. After a real bad flare up with extremely high anxiety regarding the fact that my brain told me that I do not want to talk to my partner or spend time with him because it will be awfull and I will not enjoy it. We went on a date at the start I was super anxious , I went to the restaurant bathroom and felt like craying having a breakdown, but managed to get back and stay with the feeling and after some time the conversations started to flow, I truly enjoyed our time together ans was happier than I was the few weels prior to that. We went on a 5 days trip to Paris afterwards and the trip was great, we did things together, cuddled in bed, kissed, all that, my anxiety and thoughts were non existent. The last 2 days though new thoughts appeared, I do no necessarely feel the anxiety but still get the occasional " do I love him only as a friend?" Do not get me wrong, I still enjoy the cuddling, hand holding, kissing, hugging, hair stroking and all that. My problems is the sex, after a somewhat depressive episode caused by the ocd i do not desire sex or even pleasuring myself, I do not think about it or crave it. I know that I want to have a sex life with my partner, and we do have sex and I get easily aroused when kissing and stuff, but I do not feel the passion, or things like that, It is like I am numb or empty, I feel pleasure, but not the feeling of deep connection, it is like I am in a fishbowl looking to outside. And that reinforces my thoughts of loving him as a friend...even if I don't want that to be the case. I am feeling calm even writting this, does this mean that it is true? I would appreciate your oppinions on the matter, truly .

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Explore StoryMate for more.

1. Kajiwoto

Kajiwoto offers human-like chatting with AI characters, allowing users to create customizable AI companions. It supports both free and paid memberships.
Pros:
Free option available.
Customizable moods for characters.
Unlimited chatting.
Cons:
Premium subscription required for advanced features.
Paid subscription can be expensive.
Visit Kajiwoto for more information.

1. KUKI.AI

KUKI.AI is a conversational AI with advanced functionalities, offering natural and engaging talks. It expands its vocabulary to understand multiple speech patterns.
Pros:
Handles infinite questions.
User-friendly interface.
Cons:
Text-only interaction, no graphics.
Discover more at KUKI.AI.

1. Inworld AI

Inworld AI allows users to chat with or create their own AI characters. It leverages OpenAI models for accurate information delivery.
Pros:
Design your own characters.
Free for basic chatting.
Cons:
Requires internet browser access.
No dedicated mobile app yet.
Learn more at Inworld AI.

1. Tavern AI

Tavern AI offers a platform for creating and interacting with AI chatbots for text-based conversations. Users can customize bot personalities to meet personal goals.
Pros:
Manage bot behavior and communication.
No filters, allowing for free interaction.
Cons:
Requires downloading the application.
Visit Tavern AI for more details.
Conclusion
These top 10 free Candy AI alternatives offer a range of features and experiences for anyone looking to engage with AI companions. TalkieMate.com stands out as the best overall choice, providing extensive customization and secure interactions. Whether you’re seeking emotional support, interactive storytelling, or a personalized virtual companion, these platforms cater to diverse needs and preferences. Explore these options and find the perfect AI companion for your unique requirements.

There are only 8 wards in our current stake, and they have recently struggled to find enough leaders to fill ward and stake positions. In spite of that, they just announced that the stake is splitting in two weeks. Even as a TBM I would have wondered how they could justify it, especially knowing some of the leaders of the stake and heard them talk about the trouble they’ve had finding high council members and auxiliary stake presidency spots. But as someone whose eyes have been opened to the abuse, cult tactics, and transparent grifting of the church, it is ever so clear that the only reason these decisions are being made is that they’re trying to pump up those total stake numbers to give the impression of growth. Just as with temples, the high leadership of the church knows that numbers of active members are dwindling in most places, especially the US, and they have to do something to give TBMs the impression that the stone cut out of the mountain is still rolling.
This same stake-splitting happened in my parent’s stake a few months ago and my TBM parents were so excited about it. This is another primary reason they do this. The Mormon Church is painfully mundane, mainly, because it is organized like the corporation it is, so when any change happens (new bishop, new missionaries, new stake, new temples), the TBM sheep lose their collective minds. Even in my ward when this announcement was made, there was a buzz in the room.
In short, you will hear TBM friends and family talk about new stakes, but make no mistake, this is all orchestrated nonsense.

hi guys! i feel like this is the 1 place where others can understand me. i’m currently taking an anti depressant and an anti psychotic and i have an appointment scheduled with my psych to talk about adjusting my meds. im in a bad depressive episode where i sleep hours and hours and most of the day away, usually not waking up until 3, 4 or 5 pm and getting out of bed. any tips on behavioral adjustments to avoid laying and sleeping in bed?