Neck hanging iphone case
I found my girlfriend’s secret Google account and it feels like our entire relationship was built on a lie
2024.05.19 15:48 lightingnations I found my girlfriend’s secret Google account and it feels like our entire relationship was built on a lie
I met Luna on a train two years ago. I’d just escaped from a toxic relationship, so romance was the last thing on my mind, but then she sat across from me in the carriage and asked about the book I was reading. She had a copy in her bag and wanted to know if it was any good.
I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…
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I'd never felt such an instant, effortless connection with anybody before. I took a chance and asked her to dinner, and by the time the waiters cleared away our desserts, I already felt comfortable being vulnerable around her. So we went on a second date. And a third. And next thing I knew, we were planning our second anniversary.
In all that time she never gave off any 'creeper' vibes. Until a few months ago, when I stayed the night over at her place...
She'd gotten up early to use the bathroom. I grabbed her laptop off the side desk so I could catch up on some work e-mails, and the incognito tab was just sitting there. My first thought was: either she's having an affair or she's got a secret fetish.
What I found instead was a Google account with a photo album called ‘Michael’s EX’. In it, there were 427 photos of my former girlfriend turned psycho stalker, Sadie. This included shots of ‘Sadie the stalker’ with her family, screenshots of her passport—the works. On Facebook, Sadie's latest post said Moving to the Philippines, and since then she’d become a social media church mouse, so how did Luna keep her under surveillance? And how did you even get PERSONAL ID from a person halfway across the globe?
Down the hall, I heard the bathroom door swing open. Quickly I closed the laptop and pretended to be asleep until Luna planted a kiss on my lips. “Wakey wakey Bugs.”
I faked a stretch. “Morning Lola."
(At school, the other kids christened me ‘Bugs’ because of my cartoonishly large front teeth; I called Luna ‘Lola’ because of her blonde bangs and heart-shaped face.)
“How about we grab a fry for breakfast?” Her smile didn’t seem genuine, more like she was wearing a mask.
“Crap. I forgot I’m doing overtime today, I’ve gotta get to work.” With that, I shot out of there faster than a bullet train to Tokyo.
Because I didn’t wanna believe the worst about someone I cared so deeply about, I didn’t contact the police (not that anybody could’ve guessed what Luna was up to) and made excuses whenever she asked to meet, delaying the decision whether to end our relationship.
At night, I couldn’t sleep. Every time a hedge rustled outside, I’d run to the window and pull back the curtain only to discover a black cat skulking around the garden. I put this down to my previous relationship leaving me with a mountain of unresolved PTSD.
Sadie the stalker also seemed normal until we moved in together. After that she started picking fights if she caught me talking to another woman, even just distant relatives or childhood friends. The screaming matches went from weekly to nightly, only ever ending when I conceded to her every wish and gave her full access to my phone and social media accounts. I literally needed to grab my clothes into a bag and run away one night, and then I started hearing noises outside my new apartment. And although I never found any evidence, I was pretty sure she’d broken in at one point because the books on my side table were suddenly out of order one day. What hurt the most was Luna knew all this and still acted the way she did.
Right as I reached my lowest point, my close friend Gertrude called and said, “The universe is telling me you could use a sympathetic ear.”
I told her the universe didn’t know the half of it.
I’d met Gertrude—aka my surrogate mother—on a flight to London. Passing over Wales the aircraft hit heavy turbulence, and the grey-haired hippie in the seat next to mine squeezed my hand so tight that my fingers turned blue. After we levelled off, she apologized and said, “So what’s calling you to London?”
“A job.”
A few glasses of wine from the service trolley later, she blurted out, “You know your aura is strikingly similar to my husbands.”
“Uhh, thanks. Where is he now?”
“Oh, he burned to death in a house fire.”
Gertrude’s eyes started welling up. To take her mind off the subject, I said, “I lied earlier. I’m going to London because I fell in love with a Londoner.” I pulled up pictures of Sadie (back in her pre-stalker days) on my phone. “We met in Italy. She looked flustered trying to read a map book so I offered to help. Next thing I knew, we were planning a trip to this place called Orvieto.”
“Michael, I need to know how this story ends. Gimme your number.”
Since then, we’d met two or three times a year.
I laid the whole mess out over pizza. It was the first time since finding the Google account I didn’t feel hidden eyes crawling all over me.
Just as I wrapped up the story, over in the corner booth, a family burst into a chorus of happy birthday. A waiter appeared carrying a chocolate cake, capped by a giant candle that looked more like a flare. Gertrude tensed up.
“So what do you think about all this?” I asked.
She looked back at me and said, “It’s possible your reaction has been a touch on the dramatic side.”
“DRAMATIC??”
“Well consider things from Luna’s point of view. Your last relationship lasted for, what, three years? Maybe she felt threatened.”
“I don’t believe this.” I grabbed a cigarette from my pocket, but Gertrude snatched it away.
“You know how I feel about you poisoning your lungs, Michael.”
“Don’t you start. I got enough of that crap from Luna.”
Gertrude always encouraged me to work through my romantic problems. Ultimately, I decided her love of fairytale romances clouded her judgement and ghosted Luna instead. But I couldn’t escape her shadow. She always felt close. In fact, it got so bad that at a friend’s costume party several weeks later, my eyes kept compulsively scanning the crowd as if she was there in disguise, ready to pounce.
I stood off to the corner until, over the sea of heads, I spotted a beautiful stranger dressed as Jarlath the Goblin King. I took a shot of liquid courage and made a B-line towards her.
Halfway across the crowded room, beer splashed across the front of my Ziggy Stardust outfit.
“I am so sorry,” a female pirate said, patting me dry.
“Don’t worry about it.” Every time I tried circling her, she moved to cut me off.
“I am such a klutz. Why don’t you come into the kitchen so I can clean up this mess?”
I put my hands on her shoulders and steered her out of the way. “It’s fine. Trust me.”
Approaching Jarlath from behind, heart slamming against my chest, I said, “Well this is awkward. One of us is gonna have to change.”
Jennie had bright blue eyes and dimples impossible to miss. Ten minutes into our debate about David Bowie’s greatest album, I said, “You know Absolute Bowie are playing the Half Moon next week. I could take you?”
“Sorry. I’m going with my boyfriend,” she said with a sympathetic smile. From beside the buffet table, the pirate stared daggers in our direction.
“No worries,” I replied, despite the fact I was brimming with jealousy.
The next day, as I jogged off my hangover, a brown-haired lady cut across my path and we both went spinning to the ground.
“Flip, sorry.” I rushed to pull her up by the hands. “I’m like a bloody zombie lately.”
She did a doubletake. “Ziggy, right?”
There was no mistaking those eyes. “Jarlath?”
“Well, Jarlath or Jennie. Eithers fine.”
“Right. Well, sorry again. Enjoy Absolute Bowie.”
Before I could jog away, she said, “Hey, so that guy I was seeing? Turns out he’s a total prick.”
Jennie and I went for coffee. Coffee morphed into drinks. Drinks morphed into a steamy make-out session on my sofa.
But as she covered my neck in soft kisses, my stomach turned. It felt like cheating. So, I put the brakes on things and said, “I can’t do this. I’m really sorry. You’re amazing, but I just got out of a serious relationship…and…it’s just…”
“Hey, don’t worry about it.”
We agreed we’d let our connection blossom in its own time.
Jennie had a playful mystique to her. Within a handful of dates, we’d developed inside jokes and could tell what the other was thinking. But Luna’s imprint was hard to shake, to the extent I almost mixed up the two ladies’ names multiple times.
To detox, I suggested Jennie and I spend a romantic weekend in the Lake District, because after two days of hiking and kayaking my ex would no doubt be a spec in the rearview mirror.
Hours before we set off, however, Luna’s mom called. She wanted to meet and wouldn’t accept any excuses.
“Look, it’s obvious why I’m here,” she said, sitting across from me in Starbucks. “Ever since you and Luna broke up, she’s been acting…different.”
“Different? Different how?”
“I call but she hardly answers. I go over to her place but she’s never there. Now she’s telling me she needs to find herself. Says she’s moving to Australia.”
Her fingers tightened around her cup. “I need to know what happened between you two. And I don’t care if that paints anybody in a bad light. I’m just worried about my daughter is all.”
I told her about the Google account.
“Did you confront her about it?”
“Hell no. I ghosted that crazy bitc—” I cleared my throat. “I mean, I just…stopped seeing her.”
She started crying so loudly customers at nearby tables paused their conversations. I touched her forearm, promised I’d call if I remembered anything else, then set off for my romantic weekend.
But while Jennie and I enjoyed all that fresh air and pub food, a thought nagged at me. Luna adored London, so why move to Australia? It seemed so out of character. Back at our rented cottage, I was so fixated on the thought I needed a smoke, badly.
“What the hell is that?” Jennie demanded, as she stepped onto the front deck.
I glanced at my hands. “Uhh, a cigarette.”
“Michael! Don’t be sarcastic. You know how I feel about those things.”
“…Do I?”
“Uhh, well it’s the same as anybody else. Quit poisoning your lungs and put that thing out.”
“Alright alright, geeze. Sorry Luna.”
“That’s okay.”
A knot formed in my stomach as she went back inside. I’d called Jennie Luna by mistake. And she hadn’t noticed. In fact, her reaction to me smoking was identical to Luna’s—even the snappy way she said the ‘poison your lungs’ line.
I followed Jennie into the lounge, where she’d curled up on an armchair with a Colleen Hoover novel. She was hiding something. What else did she know about Luna? Maybe I could trick her into revealing some details…
From behind, I started massaging her shoulders. “Sorry for being rude before. I know what you said came from a place of love.”
“That’s okay.”
I waited until her eyes drooped shut, then said, “It really is perfect here, huh? Maybe we should stay forever.”
“Wouldn’t that be amazing?”
Her little groans of pleasure, the rhythm of her breathing, it all felt so familiar. I waited until the tension in her neck dissolved, then I pushed my lips against her ear and whispered, “So how about we take this into the bedroom…Lola.”
“Hmm. Sure thing Bugs.”
My hands froze. Jennie jumped up. “Uhh, that felt so good, why’d you stop?”
“What did you just say?”
“What did you just say?”
“I called you Lola,” I replied, my arms frozen in midair. “And you called me bugs.”
“Like the cartoon, right? I thought it’d be a cute nickname. Anyway, I’m tuckered out.” She forced a yawn. “Why don’t we get some sleep?”
As her hand laced with mine, an image of me waking up drugged and gagged and tied to the bedposts flashed before my eyes.
I said, “Sure. I just…need to use the bathroom first.”
The second the door shut behind me, I flew out of the house, climbed in my car, and sped away.
Within seconds my phone started blowing up with calls, followed by texts. Where are you going? Is everything okay?
No, I wanted to reply. I’m onto your sick little game. Whatever it is, I’m onto it.
Luna stalked my stalker, now Jennie somehow knew Luna and I’s nicknames. How? Did all women take turns drawing straws and whoever picked the short one needed to become my girlfriend?
I couldn’t go home. For all I knew, my exes would’ve been there burning effigies of me. I needed a safe place. Somewhere I could lie low until I got all this straightened out.
“Of course you can stay,” Gertrude said over the phone. “I’m out with some friends, but I’ll meet you later. If you hop the side gate there’s a spare key under the kissing gnomes out back.”
Gertrude lived in a detached house in Wembley. It took a bit of foraging to find the gnomes hidden beneath the weeds in the brown, patchy garden.
I needed to shoulder the door open. Inside, a mountain of letters and flyers had piled up on the welcome mat.
Down the hall, a huge archway connected the landing with a lounge, where a bar sat against the far wall, surrounded by upholstered sofas, a low table, and tie dye sheets strung over the filthy carpet. Everything had a real elegant vibe, despite the musty air.
I’d drained two glasses of whiskey before Gertrude arrived.
“Looks like you’ve had a rough evening.”
I said we could talk in the morning.
“Not a chance. You can’t take negative energy to bed. Come on, confession is good for the soul.”
She sat on the sofa and patted the empty seat next to her. So, with a weary sigh, I shared a tale of deranged exes.
“Crazy,” she said.
“I sure can pick ‘em, huh?”
“No, I mean you’re crazy.”
“What?”
“Think about it. What’s more likely: that your ex’s are secretly in collusion, or you’re being paranoid? Look how bloodshot your eyes are. When’s the last time you got a good night’s rest?”
She made a great point; teenagers on the street occasionally shouted ‘Bugs’ or ‘Thumper’ at me. Jennie might’ve come up with the nickname herself. I pinched the bridge of my nose, groaning.
“Look, sleep here tonight. Tomorrow we’ll brainstorm ways you can make it up to Jennie.”
I fumbled through my pockets for a cigarette.
“Really?” Gertrude said. “If you insist on poisoning your lungs, can you at least do it away from my home?”
“Well if I can’t smoke, I’m gonna need a refill.” I shook my empty glass.
On my way toward the bar, a wave of wooziness hit me. My first instinct was to blame it on the alcohol, but there was something else.
It was her reaction to the cigarette. My finger ran through the thick layer of dust along the bar’s countertop. Why was it like the place had been abandoned? Why did Gertrude always pressure me to stay with my psycho girlfriends? And how come she always reached out, as if on cue, whenever my relationships hit problems? It couldn’t be coincidence…
I poured two glasses of whiskey and carried them to the sofa. “So, you’re really against the whole smoking thing, huh?”
“Of course. It’s a filthy habit.”
“Yeah. Plus, there was that mess with your husband. House fire, right?”
“I’d rather not discuss it.”
“Sure, sure.” I ignited the lighter with a roll across my trouser leg.
Gertrude grabbed a cushion and hugged it. “What are you doing?”
“Alright, cut the crap. What the hell’s going on? Have you been sending your friends to date me?”
“What are you talking about?”
I wrestled the cushion from her and held the lighter beneath it. “I want an explanation right now or I’m torching this place.”
This was an empty threat. I wasn’t some pyromaniac—I just wanted answers. Inch by inch, I raised the flame. “Last chance. Why are the women in my life acting weird?”
Gertrude grabbed for the lighter. As I swatted her wrists away, we both got scorched, and for a moment her skin went wild with spasms, a sensation I can only compare to reaching inside a bucket of wet, writhing maggots. My gaze whipped between her face and her hands, which vibrated like plucked guitar strings.
Before I could scream, she yanked me up, clamped a cold, wrinkled palm across my mouth, and forced me against the wall. I thrashed around, unable to move. For a lady old enough to collect a pension, she was crazy strong.
She waited until I ran out of breath, then said, “Michael, please. I’m not going to hurt you. Open your heart and listen.”
What else could I do?
“You were right before. I have been keeping a secret from you. The truth is, I’ve been in love with you since we met. I’d never flown before. And you were so so sweet. You started talking about this other woman, but I knew our energies were perfect for each other. And it’s like I always say, love makes us do crazy things. You can’t begrudge me that can you?”
She looked as if she expected me to respond, so I shook my head.
“But I think we’ve reached a point where our connection is so deep we can be completely transparent with one another.” She took a slow, steady breath. “Michael, all your ex’s, Luna, Sadie, Jennie. They’ve all been…well, me.”
I stared at her, confused.
She sighed. “It’ll be easier if I just show you.”
Out of nowhere her hand wriggled again, then her face tightened, as though the skin was being stretched over the bone. Wrinkles smoothed out and colour bled into her grey hair, turning it brown, and within seconds I found myself face-to-face with Jennie. Even her vintage clothes morphed into a green blouse and white slacks.
“See?” she said in Jennie’s voice, her now blue eyes locked on mine.
I screamed into the soft flesh of her palm.
“Sssh, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you. Watch.”
Her entire body jerked and twitched, the muscles spasming as she shifted from Jennie to Luna. “See? Think of these as costumes”—from Luna to Sadie—"the important thing is what’s underneath. And you’ve fallen in love with what’s underneath three times. Now I’m going to let go, but I need you to promise you won’t overreact. Understand?”
On the verge of a panic attack, I nodded furiously.
The second she pulled away I made a break for the exit. The thing posing as Sadie grabbed me and hurled me backwards against the wall.
Like a disappointed teacher, she put her hands on her hips. “I’ve been so patient with you, Michael. So very, very patient.”
She blocked off any hope of escape. I sidestepped around the outer edge of the room, towards the bar.
“All those years moulding you. Trying to grow you into the man I know you can be. I really thought we had it this time. For the record, I wanted to do this the easy way. But drastic times...”
I was so scared I slammed right into the cabinet and yelped. Glass bottles chattered together, and then something wet ran down the back of my shirt. It was whiskey, leaking from the overturned bottle onto the carpeted floor.
Speaking more to herself now, Gertrude said, “I’ll just have to keep you here until you love me as much as I love you. Of course, that means posing as you so nobody gets suspicious, but that’s no trouble. I’ll tell your dad you’re moving to Italy. You always loved Italy.”
Pose as me? She'd been killing my ex's and taking their place, I was just the latest in a long line. She’d keep me as a personal sugar baby if I didn’t escape, but how? She was impossibly strong, and the only thing that seemed to scare her was…
Snatching the bottle, I doused the remaining whiskey all over the carpet and furniture. As I flicked the lighter open, Sadie’s hands shot up.
“Bugs…darling…what are you doing?”
I took three slow, steady breaths. “Breaking up with you, you crazy bitch.”
I tossed the lighter forward. Within seconds flames sprung up all around us, spreading as far as the sofa. Sadie’s shoe caught fire, and as she stamped around, unintentionally fanning the blaze, her body writhed again, starting with the ankles. Fat boils climbed up every inch of exposed skin, milky white and with the consistency of frog spawn, like she’d had a killer allergic reaction to poison ivy.
She dropped to her knees, wailing like a wounded animal. This was my chance.
I made a break for the exit, giving the creature as wide a berth as possible. But as I got one foot planted in the hall something clamped tight around my ankles. My chin hit the floor, then I started sliding backwards.
I twisted onto my back. Where Sadie’s left arm should’ve been, a tentacle-like appendage stretched across the length of the room, a distance of over twenty feet. It reeled me toward her like a fish on a line. Whatever that thing was no longer looked human. It melted like an ice statue, with no bones or connective tissue inside, its lips nose and mouth becoming hideously elongated before dripping off in huge globs like melted candlewax. A fire alarm started wailing as the tentacle dragged me through the flames, scorching my arms and legs.
The loose mass of skin reached out and encased me like a mother bird sheltering its eggs.
“WHY WON’T YOU LOVE ME?” all my ex’s voices screamed at once. Whichever direction I looked, silhouettes of faces rose and fell, as if trying to burst through. Parts of them dripped inside my mouth, disgustingly warm with a bitter taste worse than Vaseline.
I put everything into clawing my way out if there. What was left of the beast had the consistency of wet clay and came apart just as easily. I tore away chunks until there was a hole large enough to squeeze through. Then, I crawled along surrounded by black smoke.
At the far side of the room I risked a glance back and saw a bumpy, uneven hand reaching out of a puddle of ooze. Soon I was crawling over the bristly welcome mat, then fumbling for the door. All I remember after that are paramedics wrestling me into an ambulance…
A specialist officer came to see me at the hospital the next morning. They’d been unable to contact the homeowner, Gertrude Huyton, and through his line of questioning I could tell they hadn’t found her ‘remains’ inside the charred house. Like the wicked witch of the West, my stalker had melted. I told the officer she said I could stay the night, and that I probably started the fire by dropping a cigarette.
“In that case, we’ll keep trying to reach her.” He walked to the curtain surronding my bed and paused. “Oh, and I almost forgot to mention, her cat is missing.”
“Her...cat?”
“Yeah. The little black one. One of the firemen pulled it out of the wreckage. The poor thing had burns over its legs but it ran off before anybody could take it to the vet.”
I swallowed a gulp and thanked him for telling me.
And now I’m still sitting here listening while nurses rush back and forth, terrified any one of them might be Gertrude…
2024.05.19 15:33 OnlyActivity6585 My GF’s parents are Jehovah’s Witnesses
For context, I'm 16 and so is my significant other. We both go to the same high school.
I’ve been developing this relationship with one of the most amazing people. She is great and understands me in the most nuanced way, she is just everything I’ve wanted and more. She and I started talking back in February and she eventually told me she had feelings and this had been the case since September (when I was in another relationship). To be frank, I didn’t believe I had the slightest chance of being with her because she was stunning, knock out beautiful. I told her during that discussion that I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I would be in the future, especially because I had just ended a relationship that ended rather nasty way. She and I continued to talk for a few more months, and our feelings towards one another became very strong and eventually, we started dating which we were both very happy about. She had mentioned this before in previous conversations and it was becoming a more prominent issue as our relationship progressed, she was never allowed outside of the house, had no after-school activities, barely any time to hang out with her very close friends, and especially no time to hang out with a guy, she could practically do nothing outside of her own home. She eventually mentioned to me that her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses which was worrying for a plethora of reasons and explained the total lockdown she was on. In addition to this, we were dating in secret because of her parent's strict “no dating” rule. It got to the point where I’d only see her in school and we would just call and text which I didn’t mind but I wanted to spend time with her, in person. As summer approaches, her and I both concluded that we wouldn’t be able to hang out for the entire duration of our summer break (3 months). We came to a mutual understanding that we should just be friends so we didn’t have to try to make a romantic relationship work while being completely online. She has had several conversations with her parents about dating me and dating in general and they have always responded with a very strong “NO”. We both still have feelings for one another but it’s hard not being able to see each other for such a long period. We might get back together in the future if tensions loosen with her parents but that's not definite. We still want to update one another on our lives how we're doing mentally, and what we're doing creatively but it hurts going back to square one, just being a friend and acting like our relationship didn't even happen. I love her like I've never loved anyone before and I want this to work. I don't want to lose her and don't think she wants to lose me either.
TL;DR Is there any outcome where she and I make our romantic relationship work?
submitted by OnlyActivity6585 to AdviceForTeens [link] [comments]
I’ve been developing this relationship with one of the most amazing people. She is great and understands me in the most nuanced way, she is just everything I’ve wanted and more. She and I started talking back in February and she eventually told me she had feelings and this had been the case since September (when I was in another relationship). To be frank, I didn’t believe I had the slightest chance of being with her because she was stunning, knock out beautiful. I told her during that discussion that I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I would be in the future, especially because I had just ended a relationship that ended rather nasty way. She and I continued to talk for a few more months, and our feelings towards one another became very strong and eventually, we started dating which we were both very happy about. She had mentioned this before in previous conversations and it was becoming a more prominent issue as our relationship progressed, she was never allowed outside of the house, had no after-school activities, barely any time to hang out with her very close friends, and especially no time to hang out with a guy, she could practically do nothing outside of her own home. She eventually mentioned to me that her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses which was worrying for a plethora of reasons and explained the total lockdown she was on. In addition to this, we were dating in secret because of her parent's strict “no dating” rule. It got to the point where I’d only see her in school and we would just call and text which I didn’t mind but I wanted to spend time with her, in person. As summer approaches, her and I both concluded that we wouldn’t be able to hang out for the entire duration of our summer break (3 months). We came to a mutual understanding that we should just be friends so we didn’t have to try to make a romantic relationship work while being completely online. She has had several conversations with her parents about dating me and dating in general and they have always responded with a very strong “NO”. We both still have feelings for one another but it’s hard not being able to see each other for such a long period. We might get back together in the future if tensions loosen with her parents but that's not definite. We still want to update one another on our lives how we're doing mentally, and what we're doing creatively but it hurts going back to square one, just being a friend and acting like our relationship didn't even happen. I love her like I've never loved anyone before and I want this to work. I don't want to lose her and don't think she wants to lose me either.
TL;DR Is there any outcome where she and I make our romantic relationship work?
2024.05.19 15:30 Specialist_Permit566 are my panic attacks valid and what do i do?
i (f15) have been dealing with panic attacks since i was young. i don't know what other term to call it since my guidance counsellor has been using that term. its always happens around my family, never in public, and mostly happens before i go to sleep and it used to happen a lot when im in the car.
i experience brief panic centered around the void after death (apeirophobia, stemming from my agnostic beliefs) that last 2-5min. its usually triggered by my own thoughts like "oh i love my bf so much...... oh my god im going to lose him when i die. im going to die." and before i know it my flight response is kicked in and i start yelling saying "im gonna die, im gonna fucking die", im hyperventilating and my heart is racing. im not sure if it counts as a panic attack, because i hear that most panic attacks deal with nausea, sweating, chest pain, etc, but i don't experience that.
in any case, i don't really know what to do and i've just accepting that these panic attacks is a reoccuring thing in my life. i don't want to be upset with myself for something that happens so unexpectedly that i can't stop (my parents already get upset with me already, so i feel shitty anyways).
but yesterday i had a really terrible panic attack, where i ran and yelled like usual, had some self awareness and walked back to my bed, still panicked though. i hear my mom yelling "what are you panicking about now? do you want me to splash water on you?" as if i havent already explained it before and how it's always about death. i get upset about the water comment. but then i started up running around the house again and yelling again, panicking. i start pacing the room that im in, my mom then holding me by my arms because it looked like i was pulling my hair out and i kept yelling at her to let go because i didn't think it was moral to hold someone while they're panicking. then my dad came and before i knew it i was down on the couch, his arm around my neck and another one holding tightly to my arm, his legs wrapping me, him telling me to "calm the fuck down." this scares me even more, he's slightly hurting me, and im upset that he's holding me down because i don't think it's right, so i dig my nails in his arm and try to run out. im crying and i yell at him "dont fucking touch me" and hes yelling at me telling me "don't go fucking crazy on us." eventually, my mom calms us both down and we both head back to my room.
my mom asks me what she wants her and dad to do when im dealing with this, but i honestly don't know. all i know was that their behaviour had that opposite effect and did not calm me down. ive tried looking online for how others deal with it, but my symptoms seem so different. what should i tell her? will i ever actually stop having panic attacks?
submitted by Specialist_Permit566 to panicdisorder [link] [comments]
i experience brief panic centered around the void after death (apeirophobia, stemming from my agnostic beliefs) that last 2-5min. its usually triggered by my own thoughts like "oh i love my bf so much...... oh my god im going to lose him when i die. im going to die." and before i know it my flight response is kicked in and i start yelling saying "im gonna die, im gonna fucking die", im hyperventilating and my heart is racing. im not sure if it counts as a panic attack, because i hear that most panic attacks deal with nausea, sweating, chest pain, etc, but i don't experience that.
in any case, i don't really know what to do and i've just accepting that these panic attacks is a reoccuring thing in my life. i don't want to be upset with myself for something that happens so unexpectedly that i can't stop (my parents already get upset with me already, so i feel shitty anyways).
but yesterday i had a really terrible panic attack, where i ran and yelled like usual, had some self awareness and walked back to my bed, still panicked though. i hear my mom yelling "what are you panicking about now? do you want me to splash water on you?" as if i havent already explained it before and how it's always about death. i get upset about the water comment. but then i started up running around the house again and yelling again, panicking. i start pacing the room that im in, my mom then holding me by my arms because it looked like i was pulling my hair out and i kept yelling at her to let go because i didn't think it was moral to hold someone while they're panicking. then my dad came and before i knew it i was down on the couch, his arm around my neck and another one holding tightly to my arm, his legs wrapping me, him telling me to "calm the fuck down." this scares me even more, he's slightly hurting me, and im upset that he's holding me down because i don't think it's right, so i dig my nails in his arm and try to run out. im crying and i yell at him "dont fucking touch me" and hes yelling at me telling me "don't go fucking crazy on us." eventually, my mom calms us both down and we both head back to my room.
my mom asks me what she wants her and dad to do when im dealing with this, but i honestly don't know. all i know was that their behaviour had that opposite effect and did not calm me down. ive tried looking online for how others deal with it, but my symptoms seem so different. what should i tell her? will i ever actually stop having panic attacks?
2024.05.19 15:30 SneedWave Do men and women genuinely even like each other if it wasn’t for physical attraction?
This question is probably going to offend some people. I apologize in advance but I can’t help but think about this. I’m a bit on the spectrum so humor me please. I will try to explain where this thought process came from.
Some time ago there was a post on Reddit with a video of some guy getting really excited for his girlfriend deciding to play a video game with him for the first time. He looked like he’s a kid who got Christmas present early. A lot of comments echoed that he’s a lucky man.
This really shocked me. Of course, I never had to think about what it’s like to be a man trying to date women. I never had to push my hobbies in the back when dating guys. My hobbies have largely male fandoms. I dumbly assumed that’s the case for most people. This is also why almost all of my relationships began as friendships because we met playing video games and whatnot. I can’t imagine not getting to do these things with my partner.
If you are so different from each other, what do you even do together? How do you form a deeper bond beyond phsycial attraction? I can’t imagine myself dating a guy who doesn’t have similar interests but I understand now that that’s not an option for most men and most women.
Just going by stereotypes so this might sound offensive but generally speaking how does an average woman deal with a male partner who likes playing video games or whatever when you’re not interested and for the guys how do you sit down and watch the Kadarshians or whatever?
How can you be with someone who’s so different from you? Would you even hang out with the same person if you weren’t physically attracted to them?
submitted by SneedWave to TooAfraidToAsk [link] [comments]
Some time ago there was a post on Reddit with a video of some guy getting really excited for his girlfriend deciding to play a video game with him for the first time. He looked like he’s a kid who got Christmas present early. A lot of comments echoed that he’s a lucky man.
This really shocked me. Of course, I never had to think about what it’s like to be a man trying to date women. I never had to push my hobbies in the back when dating guys. My hobbies have largely male fandoms. I dumbly assumed that’s the case for most people. This is also why almost all of my relationships began as friendships because we met playing video games and whatnot. I can’t imagine not getting to do these things with my partner.
If you are so different from each other, what do you even do together? How do you form a deeper bond beyond phsycial attraction? I can’t imagine myself dating a guy who doesn’t have similar interests but I understand now that that’s not an option for most men and most women.
Just going by stereotypes so this might sound offensive but generally speaking how does an average woman deal with a male partner who likes playing video games or whatever when you’re not interested and for the guys how do you sit down and watch the Kadarshians or whatever?
How can you be with someone who’s so different from you? Would you even hang out with the same person if you weren’t physically attracted to them?
2024.05.19 15:21 level_126_programmer How do we make friends after losing all of our old friends?
Luckily, I live in a large city, so this difficult task should be relatively easier. But over the years, I just lost contact with everyone I used to hang out with. For 90% of those cases, I am actually kind of happy since they ended up not being nice to me as friends.
For the remaining 10%, we just don't have the same interests anymore. They just want to play video games and avoid going out because of inflation, which I totally get. However, we are not going to restaurants, and there are plenty of bars in my area where we can get happy hour beers and a burger for a reasonable price.
It seems like I reached the point in my life where I need to make new friends. Nowadays, the extent of my social life is going into the office and having the occasional work happy hour, so I need something more.
How does everyone make friends? I understand people have hobbies but I am a boring person who likes watching sports, having a beer, and going out in general.
submitted by level_126_programmer to Millennials [link] [comments]
For the remaining 10%, we just don't have the same interests anymore. They just want to play video games and avoid going out because of inflation, which I totally get. However, we are not going to restaurants, and there are plenty of bars in my area where we can get happy hour beers and a burger for a reasonable price.
It seems like I reached the point in my life where I need to make new friends. Nowadays, the extent of my social life is going into the office and having the occasional work happy hour, so I need something more.
How does everyone make friends? I understand people have hobbies but I am a boring person who likes watching sports, having a beer, and going out in general.
2024.05.19 15:14 Frequent-Version956 Should I keep trying to make it work or leave?
Do I stay or cut my losses?
TL/DR - BF still talks to Ex Gf - BF still smokes w$&d - I want a baby and family which he said he wants to but he’s done nothing on his behalf to try and workout why we aren’t pregnant, 2 years later - I’ve had the blood work and psmr done and got the all clear from my dr and gynaecologist - Lies, Fights and lack of validation
I 34F have been with my bf 35M)for 5 years. Things were great until 3 years ago when I made it very clear that I wanted atleast 1 child by 35. He agreed and we both made promises to get better financially (savings and get rid of debts), work on ourselves - fitness and mental health, slow down and eventually stop partying and going to raves (within the year), and overall take steps towards building a family. He smokes weed daily and this was the biggest promise he made- to stop smoking w$&d. 2 years ago I had my IUD removed so we could get the ball rolling for trying for a baby. I had my blood tests done and p-sMear to make sure everything was in order and I got the all clear. After a year of trying, nothing has happened. He hasn’t stopped w$&d, but he tells me weekly that he will- at this time, it was because he was struggling mentally, which I said I understood and he should seek counselling, which he said he would. I also suggested he get a sprm count so we can try and eliminate all possibilities of why we’re not pregnant yet. He says every other month that he will quit w$&d and get the sprmcount done and hasn’t.
We are now 2 years into trying and still nothing has happened- the w$&d continues and he still hasn’t seen a counsellor or had a sprm count done and every time I bring it up, he says he now needs the w$&d for his epilepsy ( which he was diagnosed with a year ago). I reminded him that he really shouldn’t be on any dr!?gs at all, as per his Drs and his neurological professor as he has mental illness issues as well.
This has caused a huge friction in our relationship and many, many arguments have been had, because I’m feeling so resentful and angry that, every other week he promises to stop the w$&d and get a sprm count done and see a counsellor and he hasn’t.
On top of this, I asked him 3 years ago to stop speaking to his ex because she keeps asking him about their past and “do you ever think of what it would be like if we were still together?” And I told him this was disrespectful to me and our relationship. I just found out 4 weeks ago that he still talks to her, even though he never initiates the conversation, he doesn’t ignore it either and responds every time. ( I needed to find his bosses number after he went to a rave, had dr@gs and ended up having 3 full body seizures which he’s never had before, and ended up in hospital, and I saw the messages of him chatting to her the night before.) He swears up and down that THAT was an eye opener and he’s truly sorry and he’s blocked and deleted her and he wants to focus on me and our future. ( he’s also said this multiple times over 3 years and I found out time and time again it was a lie.)
Also come to find out, he got a number from a girl at the petrol station and she’s been venting to him about her relationship and he about ours. ( another conversation that isn’t anything sexual or otherwise, but the thought of him venting about our relationship to a complete stranger who felt comfortable to give her number and he didn’t tell me at all until a week later made me really upset as it all coincided with him still talking to his ex).
He has no idea why I’m so upset about this; the w$&d, the sprm count, the lack of sex in general, random girls number, his ex and when I express how much he’s hurting me, he takes the “ well find better. You deserve better than me” route and just hides away from me in the house ( we live together ).
We can never have a discussion about anything at all without him turning it into how he’s the victim and feeling attacked, and all I’m bringing forward is how he’s hurting me, complete with examples and screenshots and why it’s not ok. He’s in turn told me the following; “You’ve got mental health problems because you’re not right in the head and you’re abusive and your behaviour is abusive” “ get meds because you clearly need it! You can’t keep blaming everything on me! You’re a problem too!”
I stopped partying 3 years ago. I started going to the gym again to get fit and healthy I’m watching what I eat and being more mindful of my surroundings so I’m in a good place mentally I feel so defeated, 3 years on, that I’m resentful, I’m mad, I’m hurt, I’m on antidepressants and I’m seeing a psychologist and he still hasn’t done anything he promised he would.
It’s gotten to the point where my family hates our relationship, my best friend thinks he’s a joke and is wasting my time and taking me for granted and none of my friends want to be around me because of how he treats me ( “he’s very aggressive the way he speaks to you. Always making out like you’re dragging him around or nagging him or always on his case … he doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to…. It’s hard to hang out with you and watch him treat you the way he does”.)
Worst of all, he interfered with my work ( disconnected the internet and berated me and my work colleague heard it all) and my work has now listed me as “in a domestic abse” situation and I’ve been interviewed by HR. At the same time he started a new job and while he’s bragging about how wonderful his job is, he’s completely ignorant to how he’s ruined mine and my reputation.
I guess the answers are all in front of me on what to do: Do I bother trying to believe that maybe one day his “magical promises” might come true or cut my losses while I still can.
I still love him, and I still want the family we both dreamed of! It feels like I’m the only one invested and I pushing someone to change when his actions proved he was never going to.
Am I overthinking this? Am I hoping on a dream that will never happen? Am I fooling myself? Do I need to change?
submitted by Frequent-Version956 to relationships [link] [comments]
TL/DR - BF still talks to Ex Gf - BF still smokes w$&d - I want a baby and family which he said he wants to but he’s done nothing on his behalf to try and workout why we aren’t pregnant, 2 years later - I’ve had the blood work and psmr done and got the all clear from my dr and gynaecologist - Lies, Fights and lack of validation
I 34F have been with my bf 35M)for 5 years. Things were great until 3 years ago when I made it very clear that I wanted atleast 1 child by 35. He agreed and we both made promises to get better financially (savings and get rid of debts), work on ourselves - fitness and mental health, slow down and eventually stop partying and going to raves (within the year), and overall take steps towards building a family. He smokes weed daily and this was the biggest promise he made- to stop smoking w$&d. 2 years ago I had my IUD removed so we could get the ball rolling for trying for a baby. I had my blood tests done and p-sMear to make sure everything was in order and I got the all clear. After a year of trying, nothing has happened. He hasn’t stopped w$&d, but he tells me weekly that he will- at this time, it was because he was struggling mentally, which I said I understood and he should seek counselling, which he said he would. I also suggested he get a sprm count so we can try and eliminate all possibilities of why we’re not pregnant yet. He says every other month that he will quit w$&d and get the sprmcount done and hasn’t.
We are now 2 years into trying and still nothing has happened- the w$&d continues and he still hasn’t seen a counsellor or had a sprm count done and every time I bring it up, he says he now needs the w$&d for his epilepsy ( which he was diagnosed with a year ago). I reminded him that he really shouldn’t be on any dr!?gs at all, as per his Drs and his neurological professor as he has mental illness issues as well.
This has caused a huge friction in our relationship and many, many arguments have been had, because I’m feeling so resentful and angry that, every other week he promises to stop the w$&d and get a sprm count done and see a counsellor and he hasn’t.
On top of this, I asked him 3 years ago to stop speaking to his ex because she keeps asking him about their past and “do you ever think of what it would be like if we were still together?” And I told him this was disrespectful to me and our relationship. I just found out 4 weeks ago that he still talks to her, even though he never initiates the conversation, he doesn’t ignore it either and responds every time. ( I needed to find his bosses number after he went to a rave, had dr@gs and ended up having 3 full body seizures which he’s never had before, and ended up in hospital, and I saw the messages of him chatting to her the night before.) He swears up and down that THAT was an eye opener and he’s truly sorry and he’s blocked and deleted her and he wants to focus on me and our future. ( he’s also said this multiple times over 3 years and I found out time and time again it was a lie.)
Also come to find out, he got a number from a girl at the petrol station and she’s been venting to him about her relationship and he about ours. ( another conversation that isn’t anything sexual or otherwise, but the thought of him venting about our relationship to a complete stranger who felt comfortable to give her number and he didn’t tell me at all until a week later made me really upset as it all coincided with him still talking to his ex).
He has no idea why I’m so upset about this; the w$&d, the sprm count, the lack of sex in general, random girls number, his ex and when I express how much he’s hurting me, he takes the “ well find better. You deserve better than me” route and just hides away from me in the house ( we live together ).
We can never have a discussion about anything at all without him turning it into how he’s the victim and feeling attacked, and all I’m bringing forward is how he’s hurting me, complete with examples and screenshots and why it’s not ok. He’s in turn told me the following; “You’ve got mental health problems because you’re not right in the head and you’re abusive and your behaviour is abusive” “ get meds because you clearly need it! You can’t keep blaming everything on me! You’re a problem too!”
I stopped partying 3 years ago. I started going to the gym again to get fit and healthy I’m watching what I eat and being more mindful of my surroundings so I’m in a good place mentally I feel so defeated, 3 years on, that I’m resentful, I’m mad, I’m hurt, I’m on antidepressants and I’m seeing a psychologist and he still hasn’t done anything he promised he would.
It’s gotten to the point where my family hates our relationship, my best friend thinks he’s a joke and is wasting my time and taking me for granted and none of my friends want to be around me because of how he treats me ( “he’s very aggressive the way he speaks to you. Always making out like you’re dragging him around or nagging him or always on his case … he doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to…. It’s hard to hang out with you and watch him treat you the way he does”.)
Worst of all, he interfered with my work ( disconnected the internet and berated me and my work colleague heard it all) and my work has now listed me as “in a domestic abse” situation and I’ve been interviewed by HR. At the same time he started a new job and while he’s bragging about how wonderful his job is, he’s completely ignorant to how he’s ruined mine and my reputation.
I guess the answers are all in front of me on what to do: Do I bother trying to believe that maybe one day his “magical promises” might come true or cut my losses while I still can.
I still love him, and I still want the family we both dreamed of! It feels like I’m the only one invested and I pushing someone to change when his actions proved he was never going to.
Am I overthinking this? Am I hoping on a dream that will never happen? Am I fooling myself? Do I need to change?
2024.05.19 15:13 Frequent-Version956 Am I wasting my time or should I keep trying?
Do I stay or cut my losses?
TL/DR - BF still talks to Ex Gf - BF still smokes w$&d - I want a baby and family which he said he wants to but he’s done nothing on his behalf to try and workout why we aren’t pregnant, 2 years later - I’ve had the blood work and psmr done and got the all clear from my dr and gynaecologist - Lies, Fights and lack of validation
I 34F have been with my bf 35M)for 5 years. Things were great until 3 years ago when I made it very clear that I wanted atleast 1 child by 35. He agreed and we both made promises to get better financially (savings and get rid of debts), work on ourselves - fitness and mental health, slow down and eventually stop partying and going to raves (within the year), and overall take steps towards building a family. He smokes weed daily and this was the biggest promise he made- to stop smoking w$&d. 2 years ago I had my IUD removed so we could get the ball rolling for trying for a baby. I had my blood tests done and p-sMear to make sure everything was in order and I got the all clear. After a year of trying, nothing has happened. He hasn’t stopped w$&d, but he tells me weekly that he will- at this time, it was because he was struggling mentally, which I said I understood and he should seek counselling, which he said he would. I also suggested he get a sprm count so we can try and eliminate all possibilities of why we’re not pregnant yet. He says every other month that he will quit w$&d and get the sprmcount done and hasn’t.
We are now 2 years into trying and still nothing has happened- the w$&d continues and he still hasn’t seen a counsellor or had a sprm count done and every time I bring it up, he says he now needs the w$&d for his epilepsy ( which he was diagnosed with a year ago). I reminded him that he really shouldn’t be on any dr!?gs at all, as per his Drs and his neurological professor as he has mental illness issues as well.
This has caused a huge friction in our relationship and many, many arguments have been had, because I’m feeling so resentful and angry that, every other week he promises to stop the w$&d and get a sprm count done and see a counsellor and he hasn’t.
On top of this, I asked him 3 years ago to stop speaking to his ex because she keeps asking him about their past and “do you ever think of what it would be like if we were still together?” And I told him this was disrespectful to me and our relationship. I just found out 4 weeks ago that he still talks to her, even though he never initiates the conversation, he doesn’t ignore it either and responds every time. ( I needed to find his bosses number after he went to a rave, had dr@gs and ended up having 3 full body seizures which he’s never had before, and ended up in hospital, and I saw the messages of him chatting to her the night before.) He swears up and down that THAT was an eye opener and he’s truly sorry and he’s blocked and deleted her and he wants to focus on me and our future. ( he’s also said this multiple times over 3 years and I found out time and time again it was a lie.)
Also come to find out, he got a number from a girl at the petrol station and she’s been venting to him about her relationship and he about ours. ( another conversation that isn’t anything sexual or otherwise, but the thought of him venting about our relationship to a complete stranger who felt comfortable to give her number and he didn’t tell me at all until a week later made me really upset as it all coincided with him still talking to his ex).
He has no idea why I’m so upset about this; the w$&d, the sprm count, the lack of sex in general, random girls number, his ex and when I express how much he’s hurting me, he takes the “ well find better. You deserve better than me” route and just hides away from me in the house ( we live together ).
We can never have a discussion about anything at all without him turning it into how he’s the victim and feeling attacked, and all I’m bringing forward is how he’s hurting me, complete with examples and screenshots and why it’s not ok. He’s in turn told me the following; “You’ve got mental health problems because you’re not right in the head and you’re abusive and your behaviour is abusive” “ get meds because you clearly need it! You can’t keep blaming everything on me! You’re a problem too!”
I stopped partying 3 years ago. I started going to the gym again to get fit and healthy I’m watching what I eat and being more mindful of my surroundings so I’m in a good place mentally I feel so defeated, 3 years on, that I’m resentful, I’m mad, I’m hurt, I’m on antidepressants and I’m seeing a psychologist and he still hasn’t done anything he promised he would.
It’s gotten to the point where my family hates our relationship, my best friend thinks he’s a joke and is wasting my time and taking me for granted and none of my friends want to be around me because of how he treats me ( “he’s very aggressive the way he speaks to you. Always making out like you’re dragging him around or nagging him or always on his case … he doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to…. It’s hard to hang out with you and watch him treat you the way he does”.)
Worst of all, he interfered with my work ( disconnected the internet and berated me and my work colleague heard it all) and my work has now listed me as “in a domestic abse” situation and I’ve been interviewed by HR. At the same time he started a new job and while he’s bragging about how wonderful his job is, he’s completely ignorant to how he’s ruined mine and my reputation.
I guess the answers are all in front of me on what to do: Do I bother trying to believe that maybe one day his “magical promises” might come true or cut my losses while I still can.
I still love him, and I still want the family we both dreamed of! It feels like I’m the only one invested and I pushing someone to change when his actions proved he was never going to.
Am I overthinking this? Am I hoping on a dream that will never happen? Am I fooling myself? Do I need to change?
submitted by Frequent-Version956 to u/Frequent-Version956 [link] [comments]
TL/DR - BF still talks to Ex Gf - BF still smokes w$&d - I want a baby and family which he said he wants to but he’s done nothing on his behalf to try and workout why we aren’t pregnant, 2 years later - I’ve had the blood work and psmr done and got the all clear from my dr and gynaecologist - Lies, Fights and lack of validation
I 34F have been with my bf 35M)for 5 years. Things were great until 3 years ago when I made it very clear that I wanted atleast 1 child by 35. He agreed and we both made promises to get better financially (savings and get rid of debts), work on ourselves - fitness and mental health, slow down and eventually stop partying and going to raves (within the year), and overall take steps towards building a family. He smokes weed daily and this was the biggest promise he made- to stop smoking w$&d. 2 years ago I had my IUD removed so we could get the ball rolling for trying for a baby. I had my blood tests done and p-sMear to make sure everything was in order and I got the all clear. After a year of trying, nothing has happened. He hasn’t stopped w$&d, but he tells me weekly that he will- at this time, it was because he was struggling mentally, which I said I understood and he should seek counselling, which he said he would. I also suggested he get a sprm count so we can try and eliminate all possibilities of why we’re not pregnant yet. He says every other month that he will quit w$&d and get the sprmcount done and hasn’t.
We are now 2 years into trying and still nothing has happened- the w$&d continues and he still hasn’t seen a counsellor or had a sprm count done and every time I bring it up, he says he now needs the w$&d for his epilepsy ( which he was diagnosed with a year ago). I reminded him that he really shouldn’t be on any dr!?gs at all, as per his Drs and his neurological professor as he has mental illness issues as well.
This has caused a huge friction in our relationship and many, many arguments have been had, because I’m feeling so resentful and angry that, every other week he promises to stop the w$&d and get a sprm count done and see a counsellor and he hasn’t.
On top of this, I asked him 3 years ago to stop speaking to his ex because she keeps asking him about their past and “do you ever think of what it would be like if we were still together?” And I told him this was disrespectful to me and our relationship. I just found out 4 weeks ago that he still talks to her, even though he never initiates the conversation, he doesn’t ignore it either and responds every time. ( I needed to find his bosses number after he went to a rave, had dr@gs and ended up having 3 full body seizures which he’s never had before, and ended up in hospital, and I saw the messages of him chatting to her the night before.) He swears up and down that THAT was an eye opener and he’s truly sorry and he’s blocked and deleted her and he wants to focus on me and our future. ( he’s also said this multiple times over 3 years and I found out time and time again it was a lie.)
Also come to find out, he got a number from a girl at the petrol station and she’s been venting to him about her relationship and he about ours. ( another conversation that isn’t anything sexual or otherwise, but the thought of him venting about our relationship to a complete stranger who felt comfortable to give her number and he didn’t tell me at all until a week later made me really upset as it all coincided with him still talking to his ex).
He has no idea why I’m so upset about this; the w$&d, the sprm count, the lack of sex in general, random girls number, his ex and when I express how much he’s hurting me, he takes the “ well find better. You deserve better than me” route and just hides away from me in the house ( we live together ).
We can never have a discussion about anything at all without him turning it into how he’s the victim and feeling attacked, and all I’m bringing forward is how he’s hurting me, complete with examples and screenshots and why it’s not ok. He’s in turn told me the following; “You’ve got mental health problems because you’re not right in the head and you’re abusive and your behaviour is abusive” “ get meds because you clearly need it! You can’t keep blaming everything on me! You’re a problem too!”
I stopped partying 3 years ago. I started going to the gym again to get fit and healthy I’m watching what I eat and being more mindful of my surroundings so I’m in a good place mentally I feel so defeated, 3 years on, that I’m resentful, I’m mad, I’m hurt, I’m on antidepressants and I’m seeing a psychologist and he still hasn’t done anything he promised he would.
It’s gotten to the point where my family hates our relationship, my best friend thinks he’s a joke and is wasting my time and taking me for granted and none of my friends want to be around me because of how he treats me ( “he’s very aggressive the way he speaks to you. Always making out like you’re dragging him around or nagging him or always on his case … he doesn’t have to come if he doesn’t want to…. It’s hard to hang out with you and watch him treat you the way he does”.)
Worst of all, he interfered with my work ( disconnected the internet and berated me and my work colleague heard it all) and my work has now listed me as “in a domestic abse” situation and I’ve been interviewed by HR. At the same time he started a new job and while he’s bragging about how wonderful his job is, he’s completely ignorant to how he’s ruined mine and my reputation.
I guess the answers are all in front of me on what to do: Do I bother trying to believe that maybe one day his “magical promises” might come true or cut my losses while I still can.
I still love him, and I still want the family we both dreamed of! It feels like I’m the only one invested and I pushing someone to change when his actions proved he was never going to.
Am I overthinking this? Am I hoping on a dream that will never happen? Am I fooling myself? Do I need to change?
2024.05.19 15:09 DrYangHF7 Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door cured my paralysis (瘫痪)
I am grateful to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva for offering me this precious opportunity to share my experience of practising Buddhism with you.
I am 62 years old. Today, I can eat, sleep and walk like a normal person. However, did you know that I once was a paralyzed woman who could not even get up from bed, had difficulty turning over, and could not take care of myself? Through practising Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures, I have completely freed myself from the misery of hell. I want to tell you with hard facts that practising Buddhism and reciting the scriptures has not only given me a second life, but has also benefited me immensely. I want to share with you how I transformed myself from paralysis to health within four years without undergoing any surgery! May my presentation plant the seeds of bodhi in your hearts, so that more people will have faith in Guan Yin Bodhisattva who has boundless supernatural power, and recite Buddhist scriptures as soon as possible to be free from suffering and gain happiness!
1. When I was young, I opened two bars so I created bad karma, and karmic retribution is right on my heels!
I am the eldest daughter of my family and the eldest daughter-in-law of my in-laws family. Both my mother and mother-in-law are Buddhist practitioners and urged me to practise Buddhism as well. However, because of my youthful ambition and good fortune, at the age of about 36, I ran two bars and enjoyed the pleasure of earning money, not bothering to practise Buddhism at all. By then, I was young and foolish, in the bars I gained filthy money by means of woman’s charms, which invariably created a lot of bad karma. How many people lost their morals and conscience for my sake of monetary gain? How many families have been broken up behind the scenes? How many people have done many things against ethics and morality under the paralysis of alcohol? I hereby express my deepest repentance to Guan Yin Bodhisattva! Karmic retribution is inescapable. I planted the evil cause so I reap the evil effect. The bad karma I created within two years of running the bars has brought me a tragic retribution 13 years later! (So, dear fellow practitioners, please take this as a warning!)
In 2010, I was 49, my predestined 369 calamity arrived. One day in July, my karma exploded. I suddenly collapsed at home kitchen while stirring frying vegetables. In an instant, I felt that the sky was falling, and I had nowhere to turn for help. An otherwise healthy me entered a life of hell on earth from then on. Every day, I ate, drank, pooped and peed in bed, had difficulty turning over, couldn't wash my hands and face, had trouble swallowing, so it was worse than death. I was paralyzed in bed from then on. The doctor said I had a herniated disc in my lower back. All the bones in my back were misaligned. Both knee bones were necrotic and so swollen. I have visited all the local city and provincial hospitals, big and small, to seek medical care. I almost spent all the several hundreds of thousands of RMB I had gained from my bar business. However, the condition got worse and worse.
2. Since encountering the excellent Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, I have been practicing Buddhism hard to overcome any obstacles on the way and finally achieved a new life.
Perhaps it was the blessing from my family members who had been making offerings to the Buddha and practising Buddhism for years. Thanks to the mercy of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I finally encountered the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door in 2012 when I was in the most desperate situation in my life. The person next door to my bar heard that I was sick and came to see me. She brought me Buddhist scripture, recitation device, Buddhism in Plain Terms, counters and many other Dharma gems. She told me the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door was very efficacious, and asked me to try it. Although I could not move on bed, I listened all Master Lu's recordings like a thirst. I was pleasantly surprised to hear cases of patients who had been cured of cancer and serious illnesses by practising Buddhism and reciting the scriptures. The recordings of Master Lu's programs were like a bright beacon in the darkness, bringing me hope for life and giving me great encouragement. I felt I was awakened by a powerful energy, stirring up my strong desire to live. I told myself: I must survive; I must save myself! I started to practice Buddhism and recite scriptures as if I had grabbed a lifeline.
I am illiterate, so I had to lie in bed every day and learn to recite word by word with the recitation device. Due to the heavy karma, there was no virtuous and the high-minded practitioner around to teach me how to burn the Little Houses in a rational and lawful way. I foolishly took an ashtray instead of a plate to burn the Little Houses, which resulted in the ashtray blowing up. In order to eliminate karma quickly, I was foolishly reciting the Heart Sutra and Amitabha Pure Land Rebirth Mantra after ten o'clock at night, which resulted in the light bulbs breaking several times (Here, I sincerely remind my fellow practitioners: Master Lu enlightened us not to recite the Heart Sutra and Amitabha Pure Land Rebirth Mantra after ten o'clock at night. Please make sure to read the Introduction to Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door carefully in order to avoid practising Buddhism irrationally). Therefore, we must follow the instructions of Master Lu, and never do what the Master does not allow us to do. The whole process of reciting Buddhist scriptures to eliminate karma is very bumpy. It is really easy to create karma, but very hard to eliminate it! However, I firmly believed that the Bodhisattva is infinitely powerful. As long as I diligently practised Buddhism, my fate would definitely get changed. Hence, I relied on the blissful cases in Master Lu's recordings as my spiritual support. I kept persevering, not afraid of any difficulties, and recklessly recited Buddhist scriptures.
Since I ate, drank and pooped in bed, my aura was very bad. As I could not get up by myself, so I had to lie in bed to recite the sacred Buddhist scriptures. I felt guilty and torn, wondering if this was the appropriate way to recite the sacred Buddhist scriptures. Will it affect the effect of the recitation? Gratitude to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for Her compassion, and I dreamed of Master Lu that night. Master Lu who was dressed in a black suit smiled at me and kindly comforted me: “don't worry.” After I woke up, I was very grateful for Master Lu's compassion. Master Lu knew about my special situation, so this is a sympathy and a condolence to me. After I recited Buddhist scriptures 4 to 5 months late, my neck and head were able to turn significantly. Such a Dharma blissful change thrilled me. All the trials and perseverance I had gone through in the past had not been in vain. Guan Yin Bodhisattva has boundless supernatural power, which had given me a glimmer of hope for recovery! (Here, I sincerely remind my fellow practitioners: In the absence of illness, recitation of Buddhist scriptures must be respectful. A point of respect harvests a point of benefit.)
3. The unique characteristics of attending the Dharma conference and formally acknowledging Jun Hong Lu as my master allow my physical health to improve with Dharma joy
In February 2017, I befriended a fellow practitioner. She invited me to attend the Macau Dharma Convention together. I thought to myself: “can I take the bus by myself?” “Can I attend the conference?” With a strong faith from my inner heart, I attended the conference via keeping reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the trip. Unbelievably, I arrived at the conference as I wished with the blessing and protection of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, although my bulky legs could only barely support my body in the seat. I was in tears when I listened Master Lu's wise words and saw the holy icon of Guan Yin Bodhisattva. On the night of the conference, I dreamed of Guan Yin Bodhisattva! Gratitude to Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva for saving me from suffering and giving me a new life. At the end of the Macau Dharma Convention, I instantly made two vows: to be a vegetarian for 15 days per month and liberate 10,000 fish.
Before I attended the Macau Dharma Convention, I had to take a break whenever I walked two steps, and my body was not able to move much. After returning, my legs started to become strong enough to support my body and I could walk on flat ground. Despite they were not very flexible, they were no longer the same as when I was paralyzed like a limp in bed. My whole body is getting better and better in essence, vital energy, and spirit. I was very surprised! Master Lu has enlightened that there are many Buddhas and Bodhisattvas coming to bless attendees at each Dharma conference!
In August 2017, before the Dharma Convention in Malaysia, my fellow practitioners urged me to formally acknowledge Jun Hong Lu as my master. Since I am an illiterate, compassionate fellow practitioners helped me to fill out the application form of seeking discipleship. My fellow practitioners told me that there were so many people wanted to formally acknowledge Jun Hong Lu as their master that I might not be able to reach my wish this time. Then, I had to wait for the opportunity next Dharma Convention. I told myself that whether I could reach my wish or not this time, I would actively participate in Master Lu’s Dharma Convention. Considering my age, it is a blessing for me to attend one more Dharma Convention. To my surprise, one week later, my application for seeking discipleship was approved. Gratitude to Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
On the day of seeking discipleship, I was very excited. During the process of seeking discipleship, I heard a voice in stereo that was very loud. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see Tathagata Buddha, and many other Bodhisattvas coming down from heaven. At that moment, I saw that the upper half of Master Lu's Dharmakaya appeared transparent with a huge lotus flower. I was suddenly moved to tears. I was oblivious to the fact that Master Lu had come to my side until the time of issuing the discipleship certificate. Master Lu was very compassionate and empowered me with blessing. Master Lu enlightened, "Because five people opened their eyes during the worship ceremony, they have no lotuses planted in the pure land. But it's okay, when the ceremony is over, you can go to the front and kowtow to ask the Bodhisattva (to plant a lotus)." I then rushed to the front to worship. Before I finished worshiping Bodhisattva, a young fellow practitioner came over. He asked, "How do you feel? Did you see anything?" I said, "I saw Tathagata Buddha." He asked, "How are you sure that was Tathagata Buddha?" I said, "Both my mother and mother-in-law are Buddhist disciples, and Tathagata Buddha has curly hair."
I was grateful for the compassionate blessing from Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu. When I returned home after seeking discipleship, I made two vows: to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life and never kill (animals). The power of a vow outweighs the force of karma. After I made the vows, Master Lu’s Dharmakaya came to help me heal my legs in my dreams. Once, I saw Master Lu’s Dharmakaya passing by my room while I was half-squinted. Master Lu asked me, "Which foot is uncomfortable? Where is aching?" Instantly I woke up and then I found that my feet didn't feel as heavy as they used to be and I walked more lightly. I excitedly shared the news with my old father, "Master Lu has come to bless me again!" I am grateful to Master Lu for his compassionate care for every sentient being. Every time I dreamed of Master Lu, he would always compassionately endow me with abundance of blessing, and I was always surprised by the improvement in my health.
In a short time, I could not only separate my feet and take turns to walk up and down the stairs independently. Moreover, I could bend back and forth freely with my arms crossed. The bones in my back, which were all misaligned and uneven, were now completely normal again. Previously, I couldn't raise my hands to wash my face, brush my teeth or comb my hair because the bones in my back would pull the nerves and cause severe pain when I raised my hands. In those days, whenever I sneezed or defecated, I felt like to cheat death on pain. In those hellish day I went through unimaginable pain and suffering. Now, however, I can take care of myself completely and move around freely. Sometimes I get a little tired after walking for too long, but I can recover after 10 minutes of rest in bed. Although it is still slightly bumpy while I was walking, if you don't look closely, you can't see it. My family was overwhelmed to see the dramatic change from being paralyzed and bedridden to walking independently since I practised Buddhism. My old father, who was taking care of me at the bedside, complimented me straight away: you have completely changed, becoming healthier and healthier now! I was so excited that I had tears in my eyes. Without the rescue of Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I really wouldn't have the blissful transformation I have today!
In 2019, at the Dharma conferences of Indonesia and Singapore, I pleaded with my fellow practitioners to be merciful to give me the opportunity to volunteer. According to the rules of the Dharma conference, I was already overage. However, I was adamant that I must do volunteer work. Guan Yin Bodhisattva has given me a second life, so I have to serve all sentient beings physically. I am grateful for Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva who helped me out. When I came back from the conferences, I found that I could bend and squat easily and freely, and I had no problem even sitting on the floor. I am grateful to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for compassionately helping me to eliminate my karma at every conference, so that I can obtain incredible blessings and improvement occur every time.
4. The incredible blessing of setting up the Buddhist altar accelerated my health recovery and created a medical miracle.
From the time I set up the Buddhist altar in 2017, I insisted on offering Bodhisattvas incenses morning and evening every day. At first, the body was still straight and could not bend and bow. For two years, in front of the Buddhist altar, I prayed for Bodhisattvas to bless me so that I could recover my health a little better so I can use my own experience as an example to convince sentient beings to gain faith on Dharma and practise Dharma. Gradually, I was able to stand to offer incense to Bodhisattvas, to bend and bow, and finally to kneel in front of the Buddhist altar to recite the scriptures. I was full of Dharma joy! Initially, my back still hurt from kneeling. With the karmic obstacles being removed, my back didn't hurt anymore. Sometimes when I went out with fellow practitioners to set up the Buddhist altar, particularly on the Buddha's Birthday, I could kneel to recite the Eighty-eight Buddhas Great Repentance for an hour and a half. My fellow practitioners couldn't keep it up, so I was the only one who kept it up until the end. I am so grateful to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for Her compassionate blessing!
At one time, the doctor at the provincial hospital told me that I had to have surgery to put two steel plates into the bone, but I refused. Because I firmly believe that with the of blessings of Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I am afraid of nothing. Buddha is an extraordinary doctor. The only way to recover completely is to repent sincerely and practise Buddhism. I can now move as freely as a normal person. This medical miracle achieved was completely relied on practising Buddhism, reciting scriptures, being a vegetarian, helping new practitioners to set up Buddhist altars, volunteering at Dharma conferences, and actively propagating the Dharma. To improve my family economic financial, I went out to work on construction sites as a helper, do cleaning and housekeeping!
Those patients who were once slightly paralyzed did not recover as quickly and well as I did, even with surgery.
Dear readers, when you see such a dramatic change in me, what are you hesitating for? Hurry up and pick up the Buddhist scriptures to recite! I am the living example, the ironclad evidence. Guan Yin Bodhisattva does exist, and She is Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate, answers any prayers.
Thinking of the bad karma I created in the two bars when I was young, I feel grievously sinful. I have earned ill-gotten wealth, but the karma was produced, and karmic retribution is inescapable. If one hasn't been retributed, the time hasn't come yet. After I got old, all the retribution came to me. Not only did I use up all my money, but I also had to suffer from physical illness and paralysis. I advise everyone to remember Master Lu's enlightenment: Do not do anything that is evil; Do not fail to do good no matter how petty the deed; Do not engage in evil no matter how trivial the deed. Dear readers, please consider it carefully before earning any money, and don’t commit such deep sins as I did for the sake of monetary gain, or else the consequences will follow you!
Without the merciful salvation and blessings of Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I would not have been reborn today! I made a few great wows: honour the teacher and respect his teachings, live an ascetic life for lifetime, be a vegetarian lifetime, not kill, not eat eggs, not smoke, not drink; transcend the cycle of rebirth for good and attain enlightenment in one lifetime. In this life, I will follow Guan Yin Bodhisattva to cultivate my mind and change my behaviour and never quit. I will follow my benefactor, the Compassionate father, Master Lu, to propagate Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and never stop! Although I am over 60 years, I will continue using my own experience as an example to convince sentient beings to gain faith on Dharma and practise Buddhism. Together with my fellow practitioners, I will get up early and go home late to help set up Buddha altars for new practitioners. No matter how far and how difficult the trip is, I will always be strict with myself. I will go wherever I am needed. Even if I am eating, as soon as I receive a mission for propagating Dharma, I will put down my chopsticks and set off without delay.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is peerlessly efficacious, and Guan Yin Bodhisattva is Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate, saves beings from suffering, has supernatural power, and answer all prayers. As long as we have a devout heart and we persist in reciting Buddhist scriptures and practicing Buddhism, no difficulty can defeat us! My physical changes are the most powerful evidence! May my true presentation give some inspiration to those people who are still suffering from illnesses, so that they can acquire faith to practising Buddhism, and pick up the Buddhist scriptures to recite. May more sentient beings having affinity with Buddha break free from delusion and attain enlightenment, balance egoism and altruism, and free from suffering and gain happiness.
My deepest gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
My deepest gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
My deepest gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
My deepest gratitude to the selfless and altruistic Master Jun Hong Lu!
If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I’d like to seek forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors, and Master Jun Hong Lu.
I’d also like to seek forgiveness from my fellow Buddhist practitioners.
I, not my fellow practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Shared by: Dharma Practitioner Ganen, Gratitude and Namaste!
Translated by: Frank
Statement by Translator
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下:
从瘫痪卧床到行走自如做家政，心灵法门创造了医学奇迹
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩龙天护法金刚菩萨！
感恩恩师慈父卢军宏台长！
感恩师兄们！
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲，让我能有这个宝贵的机会与大家分享我的学佛经历。我今年62岁，现在是一个能吃、能睡、能走路的正常人了。但是，你们可曾知道，曾经，我是一个连床都起不了、翻身都困难，生活完全无法自理的瘫痪老人！如今，通过学佛念经，我把自己从地狱的苦海里完全挣脱了出来。我要用铁一般的事实告诉大家：学佛念经不仅给了我第二次生命，更让我受益无穷。我要跟大家分享，在这患病的四年里，在没有经历任何手术的情况下，如何让自己从瘫痪到健康的蜕变！愿我今天的分享给有缘人种下菩提种子，让更多的人相信观世音菩萨法力无边，早日学佛念经，离苦得乐！
1. 年轻时开酒吧造恶业，得现世报！
我是家中的长女、婆家的长媳。母亲和婆婆都是学佛人，都劝我也学佛。但是，由于年轻时好胜心强，加之财运不错，36岁左右，我经营两家酒吧，享受挣钱的快乐，根本无心学佛。年轻愚痴的我经营酒吧时靠女色来赚取黑钱，赚的都是不正之财，无形中造了很多恶业。在这种灯红酒绿中生活，我为了金钱利益，让多少人丧失了自己的道德与良知？背后又造成多少个家庭的破裂？又有多少人在酒精的麻痹下做出多少违背伦理道德的事情？弟子在此向观世音菩萨深深忏悔！因果报应丝毫不爽，种恶因得恶果。开酒吧这两年中我所造下的恶业，在十几年后让我得到悲惨的现世报！所以，请大家引以为戒！
2010年我49岁，正逢“三六九”关劫。7月的一天，我的业障大爆发，在家炒菜时突然间倒下。瞬间，我感觉天塌下来，叫天天不应，叫地地不灵。一个原本健康的我从此进入人间地狱般的生活。每天，我吃喝拉撒都在床上，翻身都很困难，没法自己洗手洗脸，吞咽困难，简直生不如死。我从此瘫痪在床。医生说我是腰椎间盘突出。后背的所有骨头都错位。两个膝盖骨头坏死，肿得很大。当地市里、省里大大小小的医院我都看过了。我几乎把我做酒吧生意所赚到的几十万块钱都花光了。然而，病情越来越严重。
2. 得遇殊胜法门，坎坷学佛路中坚持不懈地修行换来重生
也许是家人一直供佛学佛的福德。承蒙观世音菩萨慈悲，在我人生绝境之时，我终于在2012年得遇心灵法门。以前我开店隔壁的人听说我病倒了，就来看我。她给我送来了经书、念佛机、《白话佛法》、计数器等很多法宝。她告诉我心灵法门很灵验，让我试试。我躺在床上虽然无法动弹，却如饥似渴地把师父的录音听了个遍。听到人们通过学佛念经把癌症、重症都治愈的案例，我惊喜万分。师父的节目录音就像黑暗中的一盏明灯，让我看到了生活的希望，给了我很大的鼓舞。在这个过程中我像被一股强大的能量加持唤醒，激起了求生的强烈欲望。我告诉自己：我一定要活过来；我一定要自己救自己！我像抓住了救命稻草似地开始拼命学佛念经。
我不识字，只能每天躺在床上跟着念佛机一字一句地学着念。由于业力牵引，身边没有遇到善知识教我如理如法地烧送小房子。愚痴的我曾拿个烟灰缸代替盘子烧送经文组合小房子，结果烟灰缸炸掉了。为了抓紧时间消业，我晚上十点后还在念《心经》和《往生咒》，结果家里的灯坏了好几次（趁此机会我诚心提醒师兄们：师父开示，晚上十点后不要念诵《心经》和《往生咒》，请师兄们一定要好好看《心灵法门入门手册》，避免操作不如理不如法）。所以，我们一定要听师父的话，师父不让做的就不做。念经消业的整个过程非常坎坷。真是造业容易，消业难啊！但是，我坚信菩萨法力无边，只要精进努力，一定会得到改变的。于是，我依靠师父录音中的法喜案例作为精神支撑。我一直坚持不懈，不怕万难，拼命念经。
由于吃喝拉撒都在床上，气场非常不好，自己又无法起身，只能躺在床上念经。我内心愧疚又纠结，不知道这样念经是否如理如法？会不会影响念经效果？感恩菩萨慈悲，当晚我就梦见师父了。师父身穿着黑西装，一边慈祥地笑着一边安慰我：不要担心。醒来后，我非常感恩师父的慈悲。师父知道我的特殊情况，这是对我的宽容和安慰啊。后来，大概念经差不多4～5个月后，我的脖子和头也能明显地转动了。这样法喜的变化，让我激动万分。我过去所经历的磨难与坚持都没有白费。观世音菩萨法力无边，让我看到了康复的一丝希望！（作者提醒：师兄们，在没有病痛的情况下，念经一定要体态恭敬，一分恭敬一分受益。）
3. 参加法会与拜师的殊胜，让我的身体不断法喜蜕变
2017年2月份，我结识了一位师兄。她邀请我一起去参加澳门法会。我心想：我能自己坐车吗？能去法会吗？凭着内心坚定的信念，路途中我一直念《大悲咒》。虽然我笨重的双腿只能勉强支撑着身体坐在座位上，但在观世音菩萨一路加持护佑下，我竟然能够如愿到了法会现场。现场听到师父开示、看到观世音菩萨的圣像，我泪如雨下。大法会当天晚上，我就梦到了观世音菩萨！感恩大慈大悲救苦救难观世音菩萨救我于苦海，给了我新的生命和生活。澳门法会结束，我当即发愿：一个月吃素15天，放生一万条鱼。参加澳门法会前，只要走两步路我就要歇一歇，而且我的身体没办法大幅度活动。
澳门法会回来后，我的双腿开始变得有力，可以支撑起身子在平地上走路了。虽然还不是很灵活，但是比起原来像软泥一样瘫痪在床的状态，已经不可同年而语了。我整个人精、气、神也越来越好。我非常惊喜！师父开示过，每场法会有很多佛菩萨来加持大家！
2017年8月，马来西亚法会前，师兄们让我拜师，但我不识字。慈悲的师兄们帮助我代笔填写拜师申请表。师兄们告诉我，这次拜师的人太多，有可能排不上队，得等到下一场法会才有机会。我告诉自己，无论这次能不能拜师，我都一定积极参加师父的法会。我这么大年纪了，能参加多一场法会都是我的福报啊。让我惊喜的是，一个星期后，我的拜师申请通过了。感恩观世音菩萨慈悲！
拜师当天，我激动万分。在拜师过程中，我听到一个非常立体、非常响亮的声音。我睁开眼睛时，我竟然看到了如来佛祖，还有好多菩萨都从天上下来了。这时，我看到师父上半身的法身呈现透明状，有一朵大大的莲花。我顿时感动得泪如雨下。直到颁发弟子证的时候，我浑然不觉师父已经走到我的身边。师父非常慈悲，给我灌顶加持。师父说:“因为拜师过程中有5个人睁开了眼睛，所以莲花没有种上去。不过没关系，等拜师仪式结束后，可以到前面去磕头求菩萨。”我就赶紧跑到前面去拜。我还没拜完，就过来了一个年轻师兄。他问我：“您感觉怎么样？有没有看到什么？” 我告诉他：“我看到如来佛祖了。” 他说：“您怎么确定那是如来佛祖呢？”我说：”我家母和家婆是学佛人，如来佛祖头发卷卷的。”
感恩观世音菩萨与师父的慈悲加持。拜师结束回家我就发愿: 终生吃全素，不杀生。真是愿力大于业力，发愿后，师父又来梦里帮我治疗双腿。有一次，我半眯着眼睛看到师父从我的房间经过。师父问我：“还有哪只脚不舒服？还有哪个地方疼痛的？” 瞬间我就醒了，醒来我发现我的双脚没有了原来的沉重感，走起路来更加轻盈了。我激动地跟老父亲分享：“师父又来加持我啦！”感恩师父慈悲关怀着每一位众生。每次梦见师父，师父都慈悲给予加持，我的身体总会有惊喜的好转。
没过多久，我不仅可以分开双脚，轮流迈开步伐独立上下楼梯。而且，我双手叉腰，可以前后自如地弯腰。后背的骨头原本因为全部错位并高低不平，如今完全恢复正常了。原本我没办法把手举起来洗脸、刷牙和梳头，因为手一抬，后背的骨头扯神经会导致剧烈的疼痛。每次打喷嚏或排泄的时候，都有种痛不欲生的感觉，就像死里逃生一样。这种地狱般的日子让我历经常人难以想象的苦痛折磨。然而现在，我的生活可以完全自理并且行动自如。有时候走太久会有一点点累，但是卧床休息十几分钟就可以恢复过来。虽然走路还有一点点高低现象，但如果不仔细看，是看不出来的。看到我学佛念经以来，从瘫痪卧床到独立行走的巨大变化，我的家人无比震惊。当年在床头边照顾我的老父亲直夸我：现在整个人完全变了，变得越来越健康了！我激动得泪眼婆娑。没有观世音菩萨与师父的大慈大悲救苦救难，真的不会有我今天的法喜蜕变！
2019年印尼法会和新加坡法会上，我恳请师兄们慈悲给我做义工的机会。按照法会规定，我已经超龄了。但是，我坚决一定要做义工。观世音菩萨给了我第二次生命，我就要身体力行地为众生服务。感恩观世音菩萨的慈悲，让我能如愿以偿。从法会做完义工回来，我发现我可以轻松自如地弯腰和下蹲，就连坐在地板上也没有问题了。感恩菩萨每次法会上都慈悲帮我消业，让我每次都能有不可思议的加持，变化。
4. 设佛台的不可思议加持，加速我身体恢复健康，创造医学奇迹
从2017年设佛台起，我每天坚持上早晚香。起初，身体还是直直的，不能弯腰鞠躬。两年里，我每天在佛台前上香求菩萨加持，让我身体能恢复得更好一些，能为众生表法。慢慢地，我从站着上香到弯腰鞠躬，到最后可以跪在佛台前念经。真是法喜充满啊！刚开始跪着后背还是很痛。随着业障的消除，我的后背也不疼痛了。有时候和师兄们出去设佛台，遇到佛诞日，我跪着念诵《礼佛大忏悔文》足足有一个半小时的时间。许多师兄都坚持不下来，唯独我坚持到结束。真是感恩菩萨慈悲加持！
曾经，省医院的医生告诉我，必须做手术把两块钢板放进骨头里，但我回绝了。因为我坚信有观世音菩萨和师父两座靠山，我什么都不怕。在因果面前，佛是大药王。唯有诚心忏悔，学佛修行才能彻底康复。我完全靠学佛念经吃素、设佛台、参加法会做义工，积极弘法度人，才创造了医学奇迹：现在和正常人一样行动自如。我甚至去工地做小工，搞卫生、做家政弥补家用！那些曾经轻微瘫痪的患者就算做手术，也没有我恢复得快，恢复到如此好的状态。
读者朋友们，你们看到我如此天翻地覆的变化，还犹豫什么呢？赶快捧起经书念经吧！我就是活生生的例子，铁一般的证据。观世音菩萨真实存在，并且大慈大悲有求必应啊！
现在回想起年轻时开酒吧所造下的恶业，真是罪孽深重。不正之财赚到了，可是，因果报应丝毫不爽，不是不报，时候未到。在我人到老年时，所有的报应一涌而来。不但钱财全部用尽，还要遭受肉体病痛的瘫痪之苦，因果不空啊！奉劝大家一定要谨记师父的教诲：诸恶莫作，众善奉行！不以善小而不为；不以恶小而为之！挣任何钱财之前都要三思，切记不可为了金钱利益而像我一样造下如此深重的罪孽，否则果报如影随形！
没有观世音菩萨和师父的慈悲救度与加持，就没有我今天的重生！弟子许愿尊师重道、一生清修、终生吃全素、不杀生、不吃鸡蛋、不抽烟、不喝酒；一世修成，永断轮回。今生跟着观世音菩萨修心修行，永不退转。跟着恩师慈父卢军宏台长弘扬心灵法门永不停息！我虽然60多岁了，但是我要身体力行地为大家表法，起早贪黑地和共修组师兄们一起去助缘设佛台。无论路程多么遥远，多么艰辛，我都严格要求自己。哪里需要我，我就走到哪里。哪怕我在吃饭，只要接到弘法任务，我一定当即放下筷子，一刻也不能耽误地出发。
心灵法门灵验无比，观世音菩萨大慈大悲，救苦救难，法力无边，有求必应。只要我们有一颗虔诚的心，只要我们坚持念经修行，没有什么困难可以打倒我们！我的身体变化就是最有力的证据！愿我的真实分享给那些还在受着病痛折磨的人们一些启发，让大家生起学佛念经的信念，捧起经书念经，愿更多的有缘众生能够早日破迷开悟，自利利他，离苦得乐！
我的分享结束了，分享中如有不如理不如法的地方，请观世音菩萨慈悲原谅！请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨和龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅！请师父慈悲原谅！请师兄们批评指正！我自己的业障自己背，不让师兄们背！感恩合十！
分享人：感恩～全素
2022-02-28
请将本文慈悲转发给瘫痪病人及其家属
请转发这篇文章给瘫痪病人及其家属，您会积累无量功德。救人一命，胜造七级浮屠！！！
您想改变命运吗？
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Disclaimer of Liability:
The contents of the presentation and answers, including text, images, and other information obtained from Dharma practitioners, are provided strictly for reference purposes. Due to the unique nature of individual karma, results similar to those experienced by the authors may not be replicated. The experiences and advice shared should not be construed as medical advice or a diagnosis.
In the event of an emergency, it is crucial to promptly contact your doctor or emergency services by dialing 911. Relying on any information found in the answers is done solely at your own risk. The translator and answerer bear no responsibility for the consequences. By using or misusing the contents, you accept liability for any personal injury, including death. It is imperative to exercise caution and seek professional medical guidance for health-related concerns.
submitted by DrYangHF7 to CittaPureLand [link] [comments]
I am 62 years old. Today, I can eat, sleep and walk like a normal person. However, did you know that I once was a paralyzed woman who could not even get up from bed, had difficulty turning over, and could not take care of myself? Through practising Buddhism and reciting Buddhist scriptures, I have completely freed myself from the misery of hell. I want to tell you with hard facts that practising Buddhism and reciting the scriptures has not only given me a second life, but has also benefited me immensely. I want to share with you how I transformed myself from paralysis to health within four years without undergoing any surgery! May my presentation plant the seeds of bodhi in your hearts, so that more people will have faith in Guan Yin Bodhisattva who has boundless supernatural power, and recite Buddhist scriptures as soon as possible to be free from suffering and gain happiness!
1. When I was young, I opened two bars so I created bad karma, and karmic retribution is right on my heels!
I am the eldest daughter of my family and the eldest daughter-in-law of my in-laws family. Both my mother and mother-in-law are Buddhist practitioners and urged me to practise Buddhism as well. However, because of my youthful ambition and good fortune, at the age of about 36, I ran two bars and enjoyed the pleasure of earning money, not bothering to practise Buddhism at all. By then, I was young and foolish, in the bars I gained filthy money by means of woman’s charms, which invariably created a lot of bad karma. How many people lost their morals and conscience for my sake of monetary gain? How many families have been broken up behind the scenes? How many people have done many things against ethics and morality under the paralysis of alcohol? I hereby express my deepest repentance to Guan Yin Bodhisattva! Karmic retribution is inescapable. I planted the evil cause so I reap the evil effect. The bad karma I created within two years of running the bars has brought me a tragic retribution 13 years later! (So, dear fellow practitioners, please take this as a warning!)
In 2010, I was 49, my predestined 369 calamity arrived. One day in July, my karma exploded. I suddenly collapsed at home kitchen while stirring frying vegetables. In an instant, I felt that the sky was falling, and I had nowhere to turn for help. An otherwise healthy me entered a life of hell on earth from then on. Every day, I ate, drank, pooped and peed in bed, had difficulty turning over, couldn't wash my hands and face, had trouble swallowing, so it was worse than death. I was paralyzed in bed from then on. The doctor said I had a herniated disc in my lower back. All the bones in my back were misaligned. Both knee bones were necrotic and so swollen. I have visited all the local city and provincial hospitals, big and small, to seek medical care. I almost spent all the several hundreds of thousands of RMB I had gained from my bar business. However, the condition got worse and worse.
2. Since encountering the excellent Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door, I have been practicing Buddhism hard to overcome any obstacles on the way and finally achieved a new life.
Perhaps it was the blessing from my family members who had been making offerings to the Buddha and practising Buddhism for years. Thanks to the mercy of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, I finally encountered the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door in 2012 when I was in the most desperate situation in my life. The person next door to my bar heard that I was sick and came to see me. She brought me Buddhist scripture, recitation device, Buddhism in Plain Terms, counters and many other Dharma gems. She told me the Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door was very efficacious, and asked me to try it. Although I could not move on bed, I listened all Master Lu's recordings like a thirst. I was pleasantly surprised to hear cases of patients who had been cured of cancer and serious illnesses by practising Buddhism and reciting the scriptures. The recordings of Master Lu's programs were like a bright beacon in the darkness, bringing me hope for life and giving me great encouragement. I felt I was awakened by a powerful energy, stirring up my strong desire to live. I told myself: I must survive; I must save myself! I started to practice Buddhism and recite scriptures as if I had grabbed a lifeline.
I am illiterate, so I had to lie in bed every day and learn to recite word by word with the recitation device. Due to the heavy karma, there was no virtuous and the high-minded practitioner around to teach me how to burn the Little Houses in a rational and lawful way. I foolishly took an ashtray instead of a plate to burn the Little Houses, which resulted in the ashtray blowing up. In order to eliminate karma quickly, I was foolishly reciting the Heart Sutra and Amitabha Pure Land Rebirth Mantra after ten o'clock at night, which resulted in the light bulbs breaking several times (Here, I sincerely remind my fellow practitioners: Master Lu enlightened us not to recite the Heart Sutra and Amitabha Pure Land Rebirth Mantra after ten o'clock at night. Please make sure to read the Introduction to Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door carefully in order to avoid practising Buddhism irrationally). Therefore, we must follow the instructions of Master Lu, and never do what the Master does not allow us to do. The whole process of reciting Buddhist scriptures to eliminate karma is very bumpy. It is really easy to create karma, but very hard to eliminate it! However, I firmly believed that the Bodhisattva is infinitely powerful. As long as I diligently practised Buddhism, my fate would definitely get changed. Hence, I relied on the blissful cases in Master Lu's recordings as my spiritual support. I kept persevering, not afraid of any difficulties, and recklessly recited Buddhist scriptures.
Since I ate, drank and pooped in bed, my aura was very bad. As I could not get up by myself, so I had to lie in bed to recite the sacred Buddhist scriptures. I felt guilty and torn, wondering if this was the appropriate way to recite the sacred Buddhist scriptures. Will it affect the effect of the recitation? Gratitude to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for Her compassion, and I dreamed of Master Lu that night. Master Lu who was dressed in a black suit smiled at me and kindly comforted me: “don't worry.” After I woke up, I was very grateful for Master Lu's compassion. Master Lu knew about my special situation, so this is a sympathy and a condolence to me. After I recited Buddhist scriptures 4 to 5 months late, my neck and head were able to turn significantly. Such a Dharma blissful change thrilled me. All the trials and perseverance I had gone through in the past had not been in vain. Guan Yin Bodhisattva has boundless supernatural power, which had given me a glimmer of hope for recovery! (Here, I sincerely remind my fellow practitioners: In the absence of illness, recitation of Buddhist scriptures must be respectful. A point of respect harvests a point of benefit.)
3. The unique characteristics of attending the Dharma conference and formally acknowledging Jun Hong Lu as my master allow my physical health to improve with Dharma joy
In February 2017, I befriended a fellow practitioner. She invited me to attend the Macau Dharma Convention together. I thought to myself: “can I take the bus by myself?” “Can I attend the conference?” With a strong faith from my inner heart, I attended the conference via keeping reciting the Great Compassion Mantra on the trip. Unbelievably, I arrived at the conference as I wished with the blessing and protection of Guan Yin Bodhisattva, although my bulky legs could only barely support my body in the seat. I was in tears when I listened Master Lu's wise words and saw the holy icon of Guan Yin Bodhisattva. On the night of the conference, I dreamed of Guan Yin Bodhisattva! Gratitude to Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva for saving me from suffering and giving me a new life. At the end of the Macau Dharma Convention, I instantly made two vows: to be a vegetarian for 15 days per month and liberate 10,000 fish.
Before I attended the Macau Dharma Convention, I had to take a break whenever I walked two steps, and my body was not able to move much. After returning, my legs started to become strong enough to support my body and I could walk on flat ground. Despite they were not very flexible, they were no longer the same as when I was paralyzed like a limp in bed. My whole body is getting better and better in essence, vital energy, and spirit. I was very surprised! Master Lu has enlightened that there are many Buddhas and Bodhisattvas coming to bless attendees at each Dharma conference!
In August 2017, before the Dharma Convention in Malaysia, my fellow practitioners urged me to formally acknowledge Jun Hong Lu as my master. Since I am an illiterate, compassionate fellow practitioners helped me to fill out the application form of seeking discipleship. My fellow practitioners told me that there were so many people wanted to formally acknowledge Jun Hong Lu as their master that I might not be able to reach my wish this time. Then, I had to wait for the opportunity next Dharma Convention. I told myself that whether I could reach my wish or not this time, I would actively participate in Master Lu’s Dharma Convention. Considering my age, it is a blessing for me to attend one more Dharma Convention. To my surprise, one week later, my application for seeking discipleship was approved. Gratitude to Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
On the day of seeking discipleship, I was very excited. During the process of seeking discipleship, I heard a voice in stereo that was very loud. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see Tathagata Buddha, and many other Bodhisattvas coming down from heaven. At that moment, I saw that the upper half of Master Lu's Dharmakaya appeared transparent with a huge lotus flower. I was suddenly moved to tears. I was oblivious to the fact that Master Lu had come to my side until the time of issuing the discipleship certificate. Master Lu was very compassionate and empowered me with blessing. Master Lu enlightened, "Because five people opened their eyes during the worship ceremony, they have no lotuses planted in the pure land. But it's okay, when the ceremony is over, you can go to the front and kowtow to ask the Bodhisattva (to plant a lotus)." I then rushed to the front to worship. Before I finished worshiping Bodhisattva, a young fellow practitioner came over. He asked, "How do you feel? Did you see anything?" I said, "I saw Tathagata Buddha." He asked, "How are you sure that was Tathagata Buddha?" I said, "Both my mother and mother-in-law are Buddhist disciples, and Tathagata Buddha has curly hair."
I was grateful for the compassionate blessing from Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu. When I returned home after seeking discipleship, I made two vows: to be a vegetarian for the rest of my life and never kill (animals). The power of a vow outweighs the force of karma. After I made the vows, Master Lu’s Dharmakaya came to help me heal my legs in my dreams. Once, I saw Master Lu’s Dharmakaya passing by my room while I was half-squinted. Master Lu asked me, "Which foot is uncomfortable? Where is aching?" Instantly I woke up and then I found that my feet didn't feel as heavy as they used to be and I walked more lightly. I excitedly shared the news with my old father, "Master Lu has come to bless me again!" I am grateful to Master Lu for his compassionate care for every sentient being. Every time I dreamed of Master Lu, he would always compassionately endow me with abundance of blessing, and I was always surprised by the improvement in my health.
In a short time, I could not only separate my feet and take turns to walk up and down the stairs independently. Moreover, I could bend back and forth freely with my arms crossed. The bones in my back, which were all misaligned and uneven, were now completely normal again. Previously, I couldn't raise my hands to wash my face, brush my teeth or comb my hair because the bones in my back would pull the nerves and cause severe pain when I raised my hands. In those days, whenever I sneezed or defecated, I felt like to cheat death on pain. In those hellish day I went through unimaginable pain and suffering. Now, however, I can take care of myself completely and move around freely. Sometimes I get a little tired after walking for too long, but I can recover after 10 minutes of rest in bed. Although it is still slightly bumpy while I was walking, if you don't look closely, you can't see it. My family was overwhelmed to see the dramatic change from being paralyzed and bedridden to walking independently since I practised Buddhism. My old father, who was taking care of me at the bedside, complimented me straight away: you have completely changed, becoming healthier and healthier now! I was so excited that I had tears in my eyes. Without the rescue of Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I really wouldn't have the blissful transformation I have today!
In 2019, at the Dharma conferences of Indonesia and Singapore, I pleaded with my fellow practitioners to be merciful to give me the opportunity to volunteer. According to the rules of the Dharma conference, I was already overage. However, I was adamant that I must do volunteer work. Guan Yin Bodhisattva has given me a second life, so I have to serve all sentient beings physically. I am grateful for Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva who helped me out. When I came back from the conferences, I found that I could bend and squat easily and freely, and I had no problem even sitting on the floor. I am grateful to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for compassionately helping me to eliminate my karma at every conference, so that I can obtain incredible blessings and improvement occur every time.
4. The incredible blessing of setting up the Buddhist altar accelerated my health recovery and created a medical miracle.
From the time I set up the Buddhist altar in 2017, I insisted on offering Bodhisattvas incenses morning and evening every day. At first, the body was still straight and could not bend and bow. For two years, in front of the Buddhist altar, I prayed for Bodhisattvas to bless me so that I could recover my health a little better so I can use my own experience as an example to convince sentient beings to gain faith on Dharma and practise Dharma. Gradually, I was able to stand to offer incense to Bodhisattvas, to bend and bow, and finally to kneel in front of the Buddhist altar to recite the scriptures. I was full of Dharma joy! Initially, my back still hurt from kneeling. With the karmic obstacles being removed, my back didn't hurt anymore. Sometimes when I went out with fellow practitioners to set up the Buddhist altar, particularly on the Buddha's Birthday, I could kneel to recite the Eighty-eight Buddhas Great Repentance for an hour and a half. My fellow practitioners couldn't keep it up, so I was the only one who kept it up until the end. I am so grateful to Guan Yin Bodhisattva for Her compassionate blessing!
At one time, the doctor at the provincial hospital told me that I had to have surgery to put two steel plates into the bone, but I refused. Because I firmly believe that with the of blessings of Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I am afraid of nothing. Buddha is an extraordinary doctor. The only way to recover completely is to repent sincerely and practise Buddhism. I can now move as freely as a normal person. This medical miracle achieved was completely relied on practising Buddhism, reciting scriptures, being a vegetarian, helping new practitioners to set up Buddhist altars, volunteering at Dharma conferences, and actively propagating the Dharma. To improve my family economic financial, I went out to work on construction sites as a helper, do cleaning and housekeeping!
Those patients who were once slightly paralyzed did not recover as quickly and well as I did, even with surgery.
Dear readers, when you see such a dramatic change in me, what are you hesitating for? Hurry up and pick up the Buddhist scriptures to recite! I am the living example, the ironclad evidence. Guan Yin Bodhisattva does exist, and She is Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate, answers any prayers.
Thinking of the bad karma I created in the two bars when I was young, I feel grievously sinful. I have earned ill-gotten wealth, but the karma was produced, and karmic retribution is inescapable. If one hasn't been retributed, the time hasn't come yet. After I got old, all the retribution came to me. Not only did I use up all my money, but I also had to suffer from physical illness and paralysis. I advise everyone to remember Master Lu's enlightenment: Do not do anything that is evil; Do not fail to do good no matter how petty the deed; Do not engage in evil no matter how trivial the deed. Dear readers, please consider it carefully before earning any money, and don’t commit such deep sins as I did for the sake of monetary gain, or else the consequences will follow you!
Without the merciful salvation and blessings of Guan Yin Bodhisattva and Master Lu, I would not have been reborn today! I made a few great wows: honour the teacher and respect his teachings, live an ascetic life for lifetime, be a vegetarian lifetime, not kill, not eat eggs, not smoke, not drink; transcend the cycle of rebirth for good and attain enlightenment in one lifetime. In this life, I will follow Guan Yin Bodhisattva to cultivate my mind and change my behaviour and never quit. I will follow my benefactor, the Compassionate father, Master Lu, to propagate Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door and never stop! Although I am over 60 years, I will continue using my own experience as an example to convince sentient beings to gain faith on Dharma and practise Buddhism. Together with my fellow practitioners, I will get up early and go home late to help set up Buddha altars for new practitioners. No matter how far and how difficult the trip is, I will always be strict with myself. I will go wherever I am needed. Even if I am eating, as soon as I receive a mission for propagating Dharma, I will put down my chopsticks and set off without delay.
Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door is peerlessly efficacious, and Guan Yin Bodhisattva is Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate, saves beings from suffering, has supernatural power, and answer all prayers. As long as we have a devout heart and we persist in reciting Buddhist scriptures and practicing Buddhism, no difficulty can defeat us! My physical changes are the most powerful evidence! May my true presentation give some inspiration to those people who are still suffering from illnesses, so that they can acquire faith to practising Buddhism, and pick up the Buddhist scriptures to recite. May more sentient beings having affinity with Buddha break free from delusion and attain enlightenment, balance egoism and altruism, and free from suffering and gain happiness.
My deepest gratitude to the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva!
My deepest gratitude to all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas from ten directions and three periods of time!
My deepest gratitude to the Dharma protectors!
My deepest gratitude to the selfless and altruistic Master Jun Hong Lu!
If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the truth in the presentation, I’d like to seek forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors, and Master Jun Hong Lu.
I’d also like to seek forgiveness from my fellow Buddhist practitioners.
I, not my fellow practitioners, will be responsible for my own karma!
Shared by: Dharma Practitioner Ganen, Gratitude and Namaste!
Translated by: Frank
Statement by Translator
- Story was translated from Chinese into English by meaning, not word by word. If there is anything that is not rational or in line with the true meaning of the Chinese version, I’d like to seek forgiveness from the Greatly Merciful and Greatly Compassionate Guan Yin Bodhisattva, all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, Dharma protectors and Master Jun Hong Lu.
- Author Ganen was interviewed by Frank during the translation for the detailed information.
It would be greatly appreciated if you would forward this presentation to all sentient beings you know, sick or healthy. You will accumulate immeasurable merits and virtues. Saving a life is more meritorious than building a seven-floor pagoda!
Would you like to change your destiny?
We will show you how to do the Five Golden Buddhist Practices of Guan Yin Citta Dharma Door: (1) making vows, (2) reciting Buddhist scriptures (sutras and mantras), (3) performing life liberation, (4) reading Buddhism in Plain Terms, and (5) repenting. You will personally witness how you and your family can achieve physical and mental stability, relief from illness and grievances, wisdom growth, academic progress, career advancement, and family happiness through Dharma. It’s free of charge.
Contact
Buddhist practitioner: Lily
Email: [sunnypurplelily@gmail.com](mailto:sunnypurplelily@gmail.com)
WeChat: HanJing20210820
原文如下:
从瘫痪卧床到行走自如做家政，心灵法门创造了医学奇迹
感恩南无大慈大悲救苦救难广大灵感观世音菩萨摩诃萨！
感恩十方三世一切诸佛菩萨！
感恩龙天护法金刚菩萨！
感恩恩师慈父卢军宏台长！
感恩师兄们！
感恩大慈大悲观世音菩萨慈悲，让我能有这个宝贵的机会与大家分享我的学佛经历。我今年62岁，现在是一个能吃、能睡、能走路的正常人了。但是，你们可曾知道，曾经，我是一个连床都起不了、翻身都困难，生活完全无法自理的瘫痪老人！如今，通过学佛念经，我把自己从地狱的苦海里完全挣脱了出来。我要用铁一般的事实告诉大家：学佛念经不仅给了我第二次生命，更让我受益无穷。我要跟大家分享，在这患病的四年里，在没有经历任何手术的情况下，如何让自己从瘫痪到健康的蜕变！愿我今天的分享给有缘人种下菩提种子，让更多的人相信观世音菩萨法力无边，早日学佛念经，离苦得乐！
1. 年轻时开酒吧造恶业，得现世报！
我是家中的长女、婆家的长媳。母亲和婆婆都是学佛人，都劝我也学佛。但是，由于年轻时好胜心强，加之财运不错，36岁左右，我经营两家酒吧，享受挣钱的快乐，根本无心学佛。年轻愚痴的我经营酒吧时靠女色来赚取黑钱，赚的都是不正之财，无形中造了很多恶业。在这种灯红酒绿中生活，我为了金钱利益，让多少人丧失了自己的道德与良知？背后又造成多少个家庭的破裂？又有多少人在酒精的麻痹下做出多少违背伦理道德的事情？弟子在此向观世音菩萨深深忏悔！因果报应丝毫不爽，种恶因得恶果。开酒吧这两年中我所造下的恶业，在十几年后让我得到悲惨的现世报！所以，请大家引以为戒！
2010年我49岁，正逢“三六九”关劫。7月的一天，我的业障大爆发，在家炒菜时突然间倒下。瞬间，我感觉天塌下来，叫天天不应，叫地地不灵。一个原本健康的我从此进入人间地狱般的生活。每天，我吃喝拉撒都在床上，翻身都很困难，没法自己洗手洗脸，吞咽困难，简直生不如死。我从此瘫痪在床。医生说我是腰椎间盘突出。后背的所有骨头都错位。两个膝盖骨头坏死，肿得很大。当地市里、省里大大小小的医院我都看过了。我几乎把我做酒吧生意所赚到的几十万块钱都花光了。然而，病情越来越严重。
2. 得遇殊胜法门，坎坷学佛路中坚持不懈地修行换来重生
也许是家人一直供佛学佛的福德。承蒙观世音菩萨慈悲，在我人生绝境之时，我终于在2012年得遇心灵法门。以前我开店隔壁的人听说我病倒了，就来看我。她给我送来了经书、念佛机、《白话佛法》、计数器等很多法宝。她告诉我心灵法门很灵验，让我试试。我躺在床上虽然无法动弹，却如饥似渴地把师父的录音听了个遍。听到人们通过学佛念经把癌症、重症都治愈的案例，我惊喜万分。师父的节目录音就像黑暗中的一盏明灯，让我看到了生活的希望，给了我很大的鼓舞。在这个过程中我像被一股强大的能量加持唤醒，激起了求生的强烈欲望。我告诉自己：我一定要活过来；我一定要自己救自己！我像抓住了救命稻草似地开始拼命学佛念经。
我不识字，只能每天躺在床上跟着念佛机一字一句地学着念。由于业力牵引，身边没有遇到善知识教我如理如法地烧送小房子。愚痴的我曾拿个烟灰缸代替盘子烧送经文组合小房子，结果烟灰缸炸掉了。为了抓紧时间消业，我晚上十点后还在念《心经》和《往生咒》，结果家里的灯坏了好几次（趁此机会我诚心提醒师兄们：师父开示，晚上十点后不要念诵《心经》和《往生咒》，请师兄们一定要好好看《心灵法门入门手册》，避免操作不如理不如法）。所以，我们一定要听师父的话，师父不让做的就不做。念经消业的整个过程非常坎坷。真是造业容易，消业难啊！但是，我坚信菩萨法力无边，只要精进努力，一定会得到改变的。于是，我依靠师父录音中的法喜案例作为精神支撑。我一直坚持不懈，不怕万难，拼命念经。
由于吃喝拉撒都在床上，气场非常不好，自己又无法起身，只能躺在床上念经。我内心愧疚又纠结，不知道这样念经是否如理如法？会不会影响念经效果？感恩菩萨慈悲，当晚我就梦见师父了。师父身穿着黑西装，一边慈祥地笑着一边安慰我：不要担心。醒来后，我非常感恩师父的慈悲。师父知道我的特殊情况，这是对我的宽容和安慰啊。后来，大概念经差不多4～5个月后，我的脖子和头也能明显地转动了。这样法喜的变化，让我激动万分。我过去所经历的磨难与坚持都没有白费。观世音菩萨法力无边，让我看到了康复的一丝希望！（作者提醒：师兄们，在没有病痛的情况下，念经一定要体态恭敬，一分恭敬一分受益。）
3. 参加法会与拜师的殊胜，让我的身体不断法喜蜕变
2017年2月份，我结识了一位师兄。她邀请我一起去参加澳门法会。我心想：我能自己坐车吗？能去法会吗？凭着内心坚定的信念，路途中我一直念《大悲咒》。虽然我笨重的双腿只能勉强支撑着身体坐在座位上，但在观世音菩萨一路加持护佑下，我竟然能够如愿到了法会现场。现场听到师父开示、看到观世音菩萨的圣像，我泪如雨下。大法会当天晚上，我就梦到了观世音菩萨！感恩大慈大悲救苦救难观世音菩萨救我于苦海，给了我新的生命和生活。澳门法会结束，我当即发愿：一个月吃素15天，放生一万条鱼。参加澳门法会前，只要走两步路我就要歇一歇，而且我的身体没办法大幅度活动。
澳门法会回来后，我的双腿开始变得有力，可以支撑起身子在平地上走路了。虽然还不是很灵活，但是比起原来像软泥一样瘫痪在床的状态，已经不可同年而语了。我整个人精、气、神也越来越好。我非常惊喜！师父开示过，每场法会有很多佛菩萨来加持大家！
2017年8月，马来西亚法会前，师兄们让我拜师，但我不识字。慈悲的师兄们帮助我代笔填写拜师申请表。师兄们告诉我，这次拜师的人太多，有可能排不上队，得等到下一场法会才有机会。我告诉自己，无论这次能不能拜师，我都一定积极参加师父的法会。我这么大年纪了，能参加多一场法会都是我的福报啊。让我惊喜的是，一个星期后，我的拜师申请通过了。感恩观世音菩萨慈悲！
拜师当天，我激动万分。在拜师过程中，我听到一个非常立体、非常响亮的声音。我睁开眼睛时，我竟然看到了如来佛祖，还有好多菩萨都从天上下来了。这时，我看到师父上半身的法身呈现透明状，有一朵大大的莲花。我顿时感动得泪如雨下。直到颁发弟子证的时候，我浑然不觉师父已经走到我的身边。师父非常慈悲，给我灌顶加持。师父说:“因为拜师过程中有5个人睁开了眼睛，所以莲花没有种上去。不过没关系，等拜师仪式结束后，可以到前面去磕头求菩萨。”我就赶紧跑到前面去拜。我还没拜完，就过来了一个年轻师兄。他问我：“您感觉怎么样？有没有看到什么？” 我告诉他：“我看到如来佛祖了。” 他说：“您怎么确定那是如来佛祖呢？”我说：”我家母和家婆是学佛人，如来佛祖头发卷卷的。”
感恩观世音菩萨与师父的慈悲加持。拜师结束回家我就发愿: 终生吃全素，不杀生。真是愿力大于业力，发愿后，师父又来梦里帮我治疗双腿。有一次，我半眯着眼睛看到师父从我的房间经过。师父问我：“还有哪只脚不舒服？还有哪个地方疼痛的？” 瞬间我就醒了，醒来我发现我的双脚没有了原来的沉重感，走起路来更加轻盈了。我激动地跟老父亲分享：“师父又来加持我啦！”感恩师父慈悲关怀着每一位众生。每次梦见师父，师父都慈悲给予加持，我的身体总会有惊喜的好转。
没过多久，我不仅可以分开双脚，轮流迈开步伐独立上下楼梯。而且，我双手叉腰，可以前后自如地弯腰。后背的骨头原本因为全部错位并高低不平，如今完全恢复正常了。原本我没办法把手举起来洗脸、刷牙和梳头，因为手一抬，后背的骨头扯神经会导致剧烈的疼痛。每次打喷嚏或排泄的时候，都有种痛不欲生的感觉，就像死里逃生一样。这种地狱般的日子让我历经常人难以想象的苦痛折磨。然而现在，我的生活可以完全自理并且行动自如。有时候走太久会有一点点累，但是卧床休息十几分钟就可以恢复过来。虽然走路还有一点点高低现象，但如果不仔细看，是看不出来的。看到我学佛念经以来，从瘫痪卧床到独立行走的巨大变化，我的家人无比震惊。当年在床头边照顾我的老父亲直夸我：现在整个人完全变了，变得越来越健康了！我激动得泪眼婆娑。没有观世音菩萨与师父的大慈大悲救苦救难，真的不会有我今天的法喜蜕变！
2019年印尼法会和新加坡法会上，我恳请师兄们慈悲给我做义工的机会。按照法会规定，我已经超龄了。但是，我坚决一定要做义工。观世音菩萨给了我第二次生命，我就要身体力行地为众生服务。感恩观世音菩萨的慈悲，让我能如愿以偿。从法会做完义工回来，我发现我可以轻松自如地弯腰和下蹲，就连坐在地板上也没有问题了。感恩菩萨每次法会上都慈悲帮我消业，让我每次都能有不可思议的加持，变化。
4. 设佛台的不可思议加持，加速我身体恢复健康，创造医学奇迹
从2017年设佛台起，我每天坚持上早晚香。起初，身体还是直直的，不能弯腰鞠躬。两年里，我每天在佛台前上香求菩萨加持，让我身体能恢复得更好一些，能为众生表法。慢慢地，我从站着上香到弯腰鞠躬，到最后可以跪在佛台前念经。真是法喜充满啊！刚开始跪着后背还是很痛。随着业障的消除，我的后背也不疼痛了。有时候和师兄们出去设佛台，遇到佛诞日，我跪着念诵《礼佛大忏悔文》足足有一个半小时的时间。许多师兄都坚持不下来，唯独我坚持到结束。真是感恩菩萨慈悲加持！
曾经，省医院的医生告诉我，必须做手术把两块钢板放进骨头里，但我回绝了。因为我坚信有观世音菩萨和师父两座靠山，我什么都不怕。在因果面前，佛是大药王。唯有诚心忏悔，学佛修行才能彻底康复。我完全靠学佛念经吃素、设佛台、参加法会做义工，积极弘法度人，才创造了医学奇迹：现在和正常人一样行动自如。我甚至去工地做小工，搞卫生、做家政弥补家用！那些曾经轻微瘫痪的患者就算做手术，也没有我恢复得快，恢复到如此好的状态。
读者朋友们，你们看到我如此天翻地覆的变化，还犹豫什么呢？赶快捧起经书念经吧！我就是活生生的例子，铁一般的证据。观世音菩萨真实存在，并且大慈大悲有求必应啊！
现在回想起年轻时开酒吧所造下的恶业，真是罪孽深重。不正之财赚到了，可是，因果报应丝毫不爽，不是不报，时候未到。在我人到老年时，所有的报应一涌而来。不但钱财全部用尽，还要遭受肉体病痛的瘫痪之苦，因果不空啊！奉劝大家一定要谨记师父的教诲：诸恶莫作，众善奉行！不以善小而不为；不以恶小而为之！挣任何钱财之前都要三思，切记不可为了金钱利益而像我一样造下如此深重的罪孽，否则果报如影随形！
没有观世音菩萨和师父的慈悲救度与加持，就没有我今天的重生！弟子许愿尊师重道、一生清修、终生吃全素、不杀生、不吃鸡蛋、不抽烟、不喝酒；一世修成，永断轮回。今生跟着观世音菩萨修心修行，永不退转。跟着恩师慈父卢军宏台长弘扬心灵法门永不停息！我虽然60多岁了，但是我要身体力行地为大家表法，起早贪黑地和共修组师兄们一起去助缘设佛台。无论路程多么遥远，多么艰辛，我都严格要求自己。哪里需要我，我就走到哪里。哪怕我在吃饭，只要接到弘法任务，我一定当即放下筷子，一刻也不能耽误地出发。
心灵法门灵验无比，观世音菩萨大慈大悲，救苦救难，法力无边，有求必应。只要我们有一颗虔诚的心，只要我们坚持念经修行，没有什么困难可以打倒我们！我的身体变化就是最有力的证据！愿我的真实分享给那些还在受着病痛折磨的人们一些启发，让大家生起学佛念经的信念，捧起经书念经，愿更多的有缘众生能够早日破迷开悟，自利利他，离苦得乐！
我的分享结束了，分享中如有不如理不如法的地方，请观世音菩萨慈悲原谅！请十方三世一切诸佛菩萨和龙天护法菩萨慈悲原谅！请师父慈悲原谅！请师兄们批评指正！我自己的业障自己背，不让师兄们背！感恩合十！
分享人：感恩～全素
2022-02-28
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2024.05.19 14:59 No-Gain-3268 MHRT degree certification and license with a criminal record?
Hello so I spent a lot of time Geting in trouble and being in and out of jail I had built some what of a criminal record with like 5 felony's and bunch of misdemeanors it took me a while to get my shit together I used to be in addiction and a majority of the crimes I committed were either because I was under the influence or to get substances but now I'm sober on the straight and narrow I Evan got terminated from probation early because I was doing so good l've been out of jail for 4 years, I go to tattoo removal to remove the tattoo off my face and a anti religious one from my neck, l've built a good credit score I got my license and a car in the same week.I really like helping people and being a example off how you can turn your life around no matter how bad you've messed it.I really would like to work with people with mental health issues and possibly a case manager because l'd like to advocate for people.I wanted to know if going to school to get MHRT degree or certification is worth it with my criminal record?
submitted by No-Gain-3268 to findapath [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 14:50 gorillaspinner Roommates stopped liking me
Honestly kind of a non issue now because we just recently graduated, but this has been bothering me all semester. My two college roommates were some of the first friends I made freshman year, and we shared an on campus apartment sophomore-senior year.
We kind of grew apart somewhere around junior or senior year because I changed my major and stopped having classes with them. I kind of stopped asking them to do things together because I just felt like they were always busy and didn’t really ever go to the dining hall or do much outside of going to class and doing work. I knew I was not as close with them anymore, but I still liked them and enjoyed talking to them in the apartment once in a while, and would still consider them friends.
In our final semester, I noticed both of them starting to act weird around me. If I ever happened to see one of them out and about on campus and waved, they would kind of awkwardly smile and look down, or pull out their phone so they could pretend like they didn’t notice me. I would almost never catch them just hanging out in the common areas of our apartment, so even though we literally shared a living space, I could go days without seeing them. By the end of the semester, it was obvious to me that it definitely wasn’t just in my head, they really seemed like they just didn’t like me anymore. If I did happen to see the two of them in the apartment, I would not be acknowledged. A couple weeks ago they were talking in the hallway, and I walked past and they just went silent until I left. I walked right by them at graduation and was going to smile, wave, wish them well, literally anything, and they both dodged eye contact like they didn’t even know me.
The thing is, I just genuinely don’t know why they became so unfriendly. There was never any sort of disagreement or incident during our last semester that would have warranted this kind of treatment. Like I said, we barely even talked the whole semester. I know friendships sometimes grow apart, and I had already accepted that that was the case here, but the silent treatment thing to me seems a little hostile for this situation. My view of the situation was just that we didn’t really see a lot of each other anymore, but we were still on good terms with one another, but it really doesn’t seem like they’re on good terms with me.
I know it doesn’t really matter because we have graduated and I probably won’t ever see either of them again, but it does make me a little insecure that they started acting like that. I honestly find it really upsetting when people dislike me, because I always have the best of intentions in friendships. I always worry that I’m kind of socially awkward, so things like this are a big insecurity for me.
I guess this is kind of just to vent, but I do really wonder why this alll happened. Maybe because I stopped reaching out to them and made other friends they thought I disliked them first? Maybe I did say something offensive one time and they are holding a grudge, or maybe they just never liked me all that much. It doesn’t feel great, but it is what it is I guess.
submitted by gorillaspinner to socialskills [link] [comments]
We kind of grew apart somewhere around junior or senior year because I changed my major and stopped having classes with them. I kind of stopped asking them to do things together because I just felt like they were always busy and didn’t really ever go to the dining hall or do much outside of going to class and doing work. I knew I was not as close with them anymore, but I still liked them and enjoyed talking to them in the apartment once in a while, and would still consider them friends.
In our final semester, I noticed both of them starting to act weird around me. If I ever happened to see one of them out and about on campus and waved, they would kind of awkwardly smile and look down, or pull out their phone so they could pretend like they didn’t notice me. I would almost never catch them just hanging out in the common areas of our apartment, so even though we literally shared a living space, I could go days without seeing them. By the end of the semester, it was obvious to me that it definitely wasn’t just in my head, they really seemed like they just didn’t like me anymore. If I did happen to see the two of them in the apartment, I would not be acknowledged. A couple weeks ago they were talking in the hallway, and I walked past and they just went silent until I left. I walked right by them at graduation and was going to smile, wave, wish them well, literally anything, and they both dodged eye contact like they didn’t even know me.
The thing is, I just genuinely don’t know why they became so unfriendly. There was never any sort of disagreement or incident during our last semester that would have warranted this kind of treatment. Like I said, we barely even talked the whole semester. I know friendships sometimes grow apart, and I had already accepted that that was the case here, but the silent treatment thing to me seems a little hostile for this situation. My view of the situation was just that we didn’t really see a lot of each other anymore, but we were still on good terms with one another, but it really doesn’t seem like they’re on good terms with me.
I know it doesn’t really matter because we have graduated and I probably won’t ever see either of them again, but it does make me a little insecure that they started acting like that. I honestly find it really upsetting when people dislike me, because I always have the best of intentions in friendships. I always worry that I’m kind of socially awkward, so things like this are a big insecurity for me.
I guess this is kind of just to vent, but I do really wonder why this alll happened. Maybe because I stopped reaching out to them and made other friends they thought I disliked them first? Maybe I did say something offensive one time and they are holding a grudge, or maybe they just never liked me all that much. It doesn’t feel great, but it is what it is I guess.
2024.05.19 14:48 Weeb_Investments Got my first Grand Archive cards
 | I am a little late to the party, it's not that popular here in German, but finally got my first boxes 😊 Super excited, especially for the Tristan cards 🤩 I will be live on Youtube in around 24 hours from now in case someone wants to hang out and talk a little 👋 submitted by Weeb_Investments to grandarchivetcg [link] [comments] |
2024.05.19 14:41 SubstantialCreme7748 Howie Carr in Canton Townies and the Karen Read Case
https://www.bostonherald.com/2024/05/18/howie-carr-karen-read-trial-is-a-corrupt-canton-townie-sideshow/
POSTED: Howie Carr: Karen Read trial is a corrupt Canton townie sideshow
PUBLISHED: May 18, 2024 at 4:25 p.m. UPDATED: May 18, 2024 at 4:27 p.m.
Paul Revere used to summer every year in Canton, but he wouldn’t recognize the place today.
One thing, though, hasn’t changed since the 18th of April in ’75 — the locals still love their midnight rides, but with one big difference.
Paul Revere wasn’t hammered out of his mind when he was on horseback, spreading the alarm to every Middlesex village and farm.
Through the first 14 days of the Karen Read murder trial in Dedham, we have learned much about life in the Town of Canton, post-Paul Revere.
As you know, Read is accused of murdering her boyfriend, BPD cop John O’Keefe, by drunkenly running him over in a snowstorm in January 2022.
His body was found outside the home of another BPD officer, who has since sold the house, gotten rid of his phone and dog and abruptly retired from the job, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
How screwed up is this case? Well, the feds are all over it like white on rice.
Read’s defense attorneys have said the G-men’s accident-reconstruction experts have concluded that O’Keefe couldn’t possibly have been killed by a car.
Then there are all those texts that haven’t been “mistakenly” deleted…
The state’s lead investigator is thisclose to the Hibernian hillbillies who are up to their eyeballs in this mess.
According to opening statements, State Trooper Michael Proctor’s first thought when he was assigned the case was to text his Canton high-school buddies. He told them he was already searching online for nude photos of Karen Read.
Proctor is now under investigation by MSP Internal Affairs — if only because it’s the feds who discovered his texts, rather than the corrupt Staties themselves.
How will Proctor do on cross-examination? Do you remember an LAPD detective by the name of Mark Fuhrman?
Back on the stand Tuesday will be Jen McCabe. She’s the one who’s missing one of her front teeth.
Don’t confuse Toothy McCabe with Julie Albert. Julie is the one who chews gum while testifying. Her father’s name is/was Jack Daniels — coincidence?
Julie is married to Chris Albert. He did a six-month state bit in 1995 after killing a Hungarian exchange student in a hit-and-run accident.
His public defender was one John Prescott, whose sister is the judge in the case — Beverly Cannone. She’s a lifelong payroll patriot from Quincy, like the rotund district attorney, Meatball Mike Morrissey.
If you want to hide something real good, just stick it in one of Judge Cannone’s law books.
From her courtroom rulings, Cannone seems to believe that the synonym for “exculpatory” is “excluded,” as in, if the evidence is exculpatory for Karen Read, it’s excluded.
Chris Albert, by the way, is a Canton selectman. As the only jailbird in the fight, he was elected in a landslide. Forget it Jake — it’s Canton.
Even if you haven’t been paying close attention, there are easy ways to figure out who’s who. The townies — which is everyone except the defendant — all pronounce their hometown not as “Canton” but as “Can-UHN.”
Here’s how the examination begins after each witness is sworn in.
Where do you live? Can-UHN. Where were you born? Can-UHN. Where did you go to high school? Can-UHN High.
Have you ever been anywhere else? Yes, once I drove to a packy… in Stough-UHN.
Selectman Albert owns the local pizza parlor. On the night John O’Keefe died outside his brother’s house, he closed his shop, then walked across the street to a local dive where he ordered “appetizers.” That’s how good his own restaurant is.
Then, meeting up with the rest of the Can-UHN townies, the selectman ordered the usual — a round of Fireballs. How Canton is it?
After last call, he offered to take the crapulous crew back to his pizzeria for some free eats. Everybody said… nah.
Almost all these people live, or did live, in the same houses they grew up in, bought by their parents 50 years ago as they fled Boston after the start of busing.
Lucky for them they inherited these tear-downs, because otherwise most of them would have already fled back to their natural habitat — trailer parks.
See, Canton’s on the commuter-rail line, so housing prices have been going up, up and away. It’s only a matter of time until all these low-rent losers are priced out.
So resentment is simmering among the old Can-UHN crowd. They don’t like what’s happening — just last year, their favorite hang-out, Big D’s Neponset Grill, went out of business.
It was the last place in town where you could get a fried-baloney sandwich. Now that was some really fine Can-UHN cuisine.
What must the U.S. attorney be thinking as he watches this legal lynching unfold in deepest, darkest Dedham? The defense has said in open court that the feds already have a proffer — a deal — with the only witness who didn’t go to Can-UHN High.
The hack prosecutor did not dispute the statement.
Judge Cannone has instructed all the parties not to mention that federal grand jury, where at least three cops have apparently told conflicting stories from what they testified before Meatball’s state grand jury.
But the other day, one of the younger witnesses was asked who’s questioned him about O’Keefe’s death.
“The feds,” he blurted out in front of the jury.
Well, what could you expect? He went to Can-UHN High.
This trial is drawing a huge audience. Unlike Trump’s kangaroo-court case in New York, there are cameras in the Dedham courtroom. Live streaming coverage.
And Karen Read is not guilty. Tensions are running high. There have been fights and restraining orders — and that’s just among the reporters.
Aidan “Turtleboy” Kearney is the blogger who’s made the case into a national story. He’s been barred from the courtroom for certain witnesses — the “McAlberts,” as he calls the Alberts and the McCabes.
The McAlbert witnesses begin weeping when they talk about Turtleboy. He makes them want to spit out their chewing gum and order another round of Fireballs.
How dare he call their hero Jailbird Chris Albert “Chicken Parm Charlie?”
I have Turtleboy on my radio show most afternoons. On Friday, he said Jen McCabe has a worse set of teeth than George Washington did.
The most appealing thing about this case is that you can watch it and feel better about your own hometown. In Holbrook, they listen to Chicken Parm Charlie and realize that he makes their ex-selectman Daniel Lee look like Daniel Webster.
In Methuen, they see Canton’s Keystone Cops and think, you know, maybe Chief Solomon wasn’t that bad after all…
If Paul Revere could only see what’s become of Canton, he’d put the spurs to Brown Beauty and keep riding. Only instead of “The British are coming!” he’d be yelling something different. “The white trash are coming!”
submitted by SubstantialCreme7748 to justiceforKarenRead [link] [comments]
POSTED: Howie Carr: Karen Read trial is a corrupt Canton townie sideshow
PUBLISHED: May 18, 2024 at 4:25 p.m. UPDATED: May 18, 2024 at 4:27 p.m.
Paul Revere used to summer every year in Canton, but he wouldn’t recognize the place today.
One thing, though, hasn’t changed since the 18th of April in ’75 — the locals still love their midnight rides, but with one big difference.
Paul Revere wasn’t hammered out of his mind when he was on horseback, spreading the alarm to every Middlesex village and farm.
Through the first 14 days of the Karen Read murder trial in Dedham, we have learned much about life in the Town of Canton, post-Paul Revere.
As you know, Read is accused of murdering her boyfriend, BPD cop John O’Keefe, by drunkenly running him over in a snowstorm in January 2022.
His body was found outside the home of another BPD officer, who has since sold the house, gotten rid of his phone and dog and abruptly retired from the job, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
How screwed up is this case? Well, the feds are all over it like white on rice.
Read’s defense attorneys have said the G-men’s accident-reconstruction experts have concluded that O’Keefe couldn’t possibly have been killed by a car.
Then there are all those texts that haven’t been “mistakenly” deleted…
The state’s lead investigator is thisclose to the Hibernian hillbillies who are up to their eyeballs in this mess.
According to opening statements, State Trooper Michael Proctor’s first thought when he was assigned the case was to text his Canton high-school buddies. He told them he was already searching online for nude photos of Karen Read.
Proctor is now under investigation by MSP Internal Affairs — if only because it’s the feds who discovered his texts, rather than the corrupt Staties themselves.
How will Proctor do on cross-examination? Do you remember an LAPD detective by the name of Mark Fuhrman?
Back on the stand Tuesday will be Jen McCabe. She’s the one who’s missing one of her front teeth.
Don’t confuse Toothy McCabe with Julie Albert. Julie is the one who chews gum while testifying. Her father’s name is/was Jack Daniels — coincidence?
Julie is married to Chris Albert. He did a six-month state bit in 1995 after killing a Hungarian exchange student in a hit-and-run accident.
His public defender was one John Prescott, whose sister is the judge in the case — Beverly Cannone. She’s a lifelong payroll patriot from Quincy, like the rotund district attorney, Meatball Mike Morrissey.
If you want to hide something real good, just stick it in one of Judge Cannone’s law books.
From her courtroom rulings, Cannone seems to believe that the synonym for “exculpatory” is “excluded,” as in, if the evidence is exculpatory for Karen Read, it’s excluded.
Chris Albert, by the way, is a Canton selectman. As the only jailbird in the fight, he was elected in a landslide. Forget it Jake — it’s Canton.
Even if you haven’t been paying close attention, there are easy ways to figure out who’s who. The townies — which is everyone except the defendant — all pronounce their hometown not as “Canton” but as “Can-UHN.”
Here’s how the examination begins after each witness is sworn in.
Where do you live? Can-UHN. Where were you born? Can-UHN. Where did you go to high school? Can-UHN High.
Have you ever been anywhere else? Yes, once I drove to a packy… in Stough-UHN.
Selectman Albert owns the local pizza parlor. On the night John O’Keefe died outside his brother’s house, he closed his shop, then walked across the street to a local dive where he ordered “appetizers.” That’s how good his own restaurant is.
Then, meeting up with the rest of the Can-UHN townies, the selectman ordered the usual — a round of Fireballs. How Canton is it?
After last call, he offered to take the crapulous crew back to his pizzeria for some free eats. Everybody said… nah.
Almost all these people live, or did live, in the same houses they grew up in, bought by their parents 50 years ago as they fled Boston after the start of busing.
Lucky for them they inherited these tear-downs, because otherwise most of them would have already fled back to their natural habitat — trailer parks.
See, Canton’s on the commuter-rail line, so housing prices have been going up, up and away. It’s only a matter of time until all these low-rent losers are priced out.
So resentment is simmering among the old Can-UHN crowd. They don’t like what’s happening — just last year, their favorite hang-out, Big D’s Neponset Grill, went out of business.
It was the last place in town where you could get a fried-baloney sandwich. Now that was some really fine Can-UHN cuisine.
What must the U.S. attorney be thinking as he watches this legal lynching unfold in deepest, darkest Dedham? The defense has said in open court that the feds already have a proffer — a deal — with the only witness who didn’t go to Can-UHN High.
The hack prosecutor did not dispute the statement.
Judge Cannone has instructed all the parties not to mention that federal grand jury, where at least three cops have apparently told conflicting stories from what they testified before Meatball’s state grand jury.
But the other day, one of the younger witnesses was asked who’s questioned him about O’Keefe’s death.
“The feds,” he blurted out in front of the jury.
Well, what could you expect? He went to Can-UHN High.
This trial is drawing a huge audience. Unlike Trump’s kangaroo-court case in New York, there are cameras in the Dedham courtroom. Live streaming coverage.
And Karen Read is not guilty. Tensions are running high. There have been fights and restraining orders — and that’s just among the reporters.
Aidan “Turtleboy” Kearney is the blogger who’s made the case into a national story. He’s been barred from the courtroom for certain witnesses — the “McAlberts,” as he calls the Alberts and the McCabes.
The McAlbert witnesses begin weeping when they talk about Turtleboy. He makes them want to spit out their chewing gum and order another round of Fireballs.
How dare he call their hero Jailbird Chris Albert “Chicken Parm Charlie?”
I have Turtleboy on my radio show most afternoons. On Friday, he said Jen McCabe has a worse set of teeth than George Washington did.
The most appealing thing about this case is that you can watch it and feel better about your own hometown. In Holbrook, they listen to Chicken Parm Charlie and realize that he makes their ex-selectman Daniel Lee look like Daniel Webster.
In Methuen, they see Canton’s Keystone Cops and think, you know, maybe Chief Solomon wasn’t that bad after all…
If Paul Revere could only see what’s become of Canton, he’d put the spurs to Brown Beauty and keep riding. Only instead of “The British are coming!” he’d be yelling something different. “The white trash are coming!”
2024.05.19 14:37 FantasticElderberry Question for those who parent
TLDR: my 5 year old has big questions and fears and anxiety about death, and my wife and I want to make sure we handle them properly.
My(37F) wife(39F) and I have a deep thinking kiddo (5M). He’s an animal guy, told us months ago he didn’t want to eat meat or fish anymore because he didn’t want to harm “the precious animals.” Wife and I fully support him in this decision (I myself was a vegetarian for 10 years of my life), and we got with his educators and other caregivers so we could all be on the same page. No issues there.
However there are times when he’ll get into some deep, existential thinking. I’m talking some heavy shit. Case in point: last night my wife and I were hanging out in the living room and he was in his room building an exhibit (he likes world building, and has lots of materials to build habitats and zoo exhibits, etc.). He was working on a dinosaur-themed exhibit, when he came into the living room, tears streaming down his face.
He said he was thinking about the circle of life, how dinosaurs once lived and now are dead, and he was so sad to realize we all die someday. The dinos, the animals he loves so much, his pets, his moms, even him. He said he didn’t want to die, and was so, so distraught.
My wife and I (who are both Buddhist) tried our best to accommodate, and tried our best to quell his distress without invalidating him, etc. He eventually did calm down, and this difficult moment passed. But it’s not the first time he’s had this sort of existential dread, and I know it won’t be the last. We’ve had the death discussion with him when it arises (our dog died, an uncle died) and we explained in a context we thought fitting for his age. He took those moments pragmatically. He only started having visceral, emotional reactions like this within the last 6 months or so.
We do not discourage his emotional reactions. Our goal is not to get him to stop this line of thinking; we only want to support him as best we can. Because these are important and valuable reactions and discussions we think.
My question: do any others who parent have experience with their young kiddos going through this? And if so, how did you handle it? Any advice for calming their death anxiety, while also not invalidating their experience?
submitted by FantasticElderberry to Millennials [link] [comments]
My(37F) wife(39F) and I have a deep thinking kiddo (5M). He’s an animal guy, told us months ago he didn’t want to eat meat or fish anymore because he didn’t want to harm “the precious animals.” Wife and I fully support him in this decision (I myself was a vegetarian for 10 years of my life), and we got with his educators and other caregivers so we could all be on the same page. No issues there.
However there are times when he’ll get into some deep, existential thinking. I’m talking some heavy shit. Case in point: last night my wife and I were hanging out in the living room and he was in his room building an exhibit (he likes world building, and has lots of materials to build habitats and zoo exhibits, etc.). He was working on a dinosaur-themed exhibit, when he came into the living room, tears streaming down his face.
He said he was thinking about the circle of life, how dinosaurs once lived and now are dead, and he was so sad to realize we all die someday. The dinos, the animals he loves so much, his pets, his moms, even him. He said he didn’t want to die, and was so, so distraught.
My wife and I (who are both Buddhist) tried our best to accommodate, and tried our best to quell his distress without invalidating him, etc. He eventually did calm down, and this difficult moment passed. But it’s not the first time he’s had this sort of existential dread, and I know it won’t be the last. We’ve had the death discussion with him when it arises (our dog died, an uncle died) and we explained in a context we thought fitting for his age. He took those moments pragmatically. He only started having visceral, emotional reactions like this within the last 6 months or so.
We do not discourage his emotional reactions. Our goal is not to get him to stop this line of thinking; we only want to support him as best we can. Because these are important and valuable reactions and discussions we think.
My question: do any others who parent have experience with their young kiddos going through this? And if so, how did you handle it? Any advice for calming their death anxiety, while also not invalidating their experience?
2024.05.19 14:35 Zone55X [Online][5e][Other]Player Driven Time loop Mystery looking for two new players.
A Map of the Setting
https://www.worldanvil.com/w/ullthwaygon-zone55x/map/34fdce88-c8be-462e-91c6-232271f3ea4d
A Link to the Worlds Wiki
https://www.worldanvil.com/w/ullthwaygon-zone55x
Feel free to send it to me either privately or in the comments below :)
After this we will pick up to two people to hop onto a quick meetup tomorrow evening to check vibes and hopefully plan out your dramatic entrance to the game this Tuesday!
If you have any questions please let me know in the comments and me or my friend will do our best to answer them.
And if you are feeling generous please make sure to give this post an upvote as it really helps people find it :)
All the best and happy gaming,
Zone :)
submitted by Zone55X to lfg [link] [comments]
https://www.worldanvil.com/w/ullthwaygon-zone55x/map/34fdce88-c8be-462e-91c6-232271f3ea4d
A Link to the Worlds Wiki
https://www.worldanvil.com/w/ullthwaygon-zone55x
📖 Into
Hello we are a group of creatives looking for up to two new players/friends/collaborators to join us for the next leg of our adventure.🎲 The Game
With an impending disaster large on the horizon; Our band of misfits are on a countdown to find out what is coming and most importantly how to stop it. And may then they can finally regain their memories.💎 Featuring...
- A player-driven narrative in a deep and open world filled with mysteries to solve and many you may never find.
- A group of people who support each other's work and hang out outside of game time.
- A living setting where time progresses outside of your view! With distractions from your goals offering many rewards but risking being sent in crucial events.
- Rewards both for quick thinking and dedication to picking up clues to mysteries setup long in advance.
- A story with an ending! With the history of the lands you travel through likely being in your hands.
- The chance to play anything you want! With over 40 new player species to try out there is almost certainly something that fits your plans, And if that is not the case one can be made with you in mind!
- A completely different roster of monsters and adversaries that make use of devilish mechanics to challenge you over raw strength and hitpoints.
⚔️ Requirements
- Must be at least two decades in age.
- Have a fairly decent microphone setup.
- Are able to comfortably make the timeslot.
⏰ Scheduling
The game is currently running bi-weekly on Tuesdays at the following times with some degree of flexibility.| UK - Evening | US - Miday/Afternoon |
|---|---|
| BST: 8pm | EDT: 3pm / CDT: 2pm / PDT: 12pm |
✉️ Application
- Just drop me a comment below to register your interest
- Then send me a link to something creative that you have made.
Feel free to send it to me either privately or in the comments below :)
After this we will pick up to two people to hop onto a quick meetup tomorrow evening to check vibes and hopefully plan out your dramatic entrance to the game this Tuesday!
🏁 Outro
And this it! Thank you so much for reading and I hope you have a fantastic day!If you have any questions please let me know in the comments and me or my friend will do our best to answer them.
And if you are feeling generous please make sure to give this post an upvote as it really helps people find it :)
All the best and happy gaming,
Zone :)
2024.05.19 14:32 Bagzbannco Need Advice on situation regarding warranty repair.
Hi everyone,
I wanted to hear the unbiased opinion of people that know a thing or two about guitars because in this situation I don’t know if I am in the right or not.
I don’t think I will be able to be concise, no TLDR because the details matter, sorry.
Here’s the deal:
Bought a 7 string in February (ESP LTD H3 1007 baritone, €1200).
At first I didn’t have access to my recording equipment and only played it either acoustically or with an old Zoom pedalboard and headphones. Everything seemed fine but didn’t spend much time with it. Action was too high and lowering it introduced too much fret buzz.
In the first days of March I finally had the chance to record with it and noticed heavy fret buzz in the output sound (even using a reasonable distortion created a mess, no crazy high-gain) and some choked notes higher on the fretboard. The action was noticeably higher than my other guitars. It was almost impossible for me to play cleanly.
(note that for some days I thought that I was the problem, since I haven’t been playing for a couple of months and that was my first 7 string)
Inspecting the guitar closely, I noticed that the nut was cut very high, partially explaining my inability to play cleanly. Plus I didn’t quite like the factory 10-59 string set that came with it: too little tension on the bottom strings and too much for the top ones (the high E broke the first few days with a simple full tone bending around the 15th fret, not the right gauge for a 27” scale length imo).
Nothing that a nice professional setup can’t fix, I thought.
(Unfortunately, not anticipating the issue that was about to arise, I didn’t save any recordings documenting the state of the guitar before going to the luthier. Lesson learnt)
So, I brought it to a luthier. We decided that it was best to approach the problem step by step, instead of doing everything at once.
1- First he would change the strings (I opted for a 9.5-64 set) and do a basic setup WITHOUT making changes to the nut, just in case I didn’t like the new set of strings. If the buzzing remains, then we go to the more expensive step 2.
2- Nut filing and fret height adjustment.
After step 1 everything was the same: very noticeable fret buzz and choked notes.
I decided to contact Thomann’s assistance before step 2.
Why? I realised that the root of the problem was more serious than I originally thought. The luthier told me that he couldn’t guarantee that the additional work would fix everything so he advised me to contact Thomann before spending €200 on fret leveling.
For a €1200 guitar you would expect that the fretwork would be good, am I wrong?
I explained the situation to the assistance team in detail with the original state of the guitar in mind, thus forgetting to mention the work done by the professional (I know, my bad. I specified it after their first response from them) and included a recording of the fret buzz (direct input from a Focusrite scarlett straight to pro tools, with and without distortion).
Upon hearing the recording (that was done after the luthier setup) they reached out to confirm that, indeed, the fret buzz was intrusive.
When they received the guitar (March 22nd and it's still with them to this day) they told me the following (translated in English by me):
“Our relevant department informed us that the string gauge was changed to 10-65/66 from 10-59 without doing a bridge setup*. This caused the neck to warp and damage to the nut slots. In this case there is no warranty coverage […]”*
I was very disappointed whit this response.
So having just the strings changed by a professional is enough to void the 2 year legal warranty?
I contacted a lawyer friend of mine to help me write a legally solid answer.
In short, we stated that the setup has been done by a professional, the (plastic) nut was left untouched and the truss rod and bridge were set properly; having done everything in good will and within what is considered standard maintenance, I claim to be entitled to have the guitar fixed under the 2 year Legal Warranty.
Eventually they sent some photos that only proved that the nut was damaged (I was very surprised to see it) but nothing to assess the neck warp. (I will include the photo in this post).
Although the nut slot on the 7th string was proven to be damaged, I claim that it is only a minor aesthetic issue because it does not interfere with its function. If the damage was significant enough it would lead to some buzzing on the open string, right? However, the open 7th string sounded clean even after the visit to the luthier. I also never claimed that I had problems with open string buzzing in my support request, only with fretted notes, and never asked for a nut repaisubstitution. Regarding the neck warp, isn't it completely reversibile ? Why is it mentioned as if it was a warranty-voiding condition? I would get it if it had been shaped into a noodle with a hammer, but when I had it in my hands it was almost straight.
I believe that the ideal way to fix the guitar is a PLEK setup to level the frets and adjust the action because everything suggests that the root of all these problems are the uneven frets. Unfortunately, in their last email they still maintain their first opinion (reported above in this post) and told me this:
“We can offer you a setup at your expense or we can send the guitar back. There is no way that you can get a free plek setup […]. We ask you to be concise and definitive in the next email. Further emails that do not offer a definitive answer will be ignored and the guitar will be sent back in the current conditions.”
Basically, they made it impossible for me to keep defending my case after only 2 emails of mine (one addressing their initial report and one after they disappointingly responded repeting the same things). It also feels like they didn’t even bother to fully read those emails since they never elaborated on my lawyer’s valid points.
I honestly don’t know what to do and feel hopeless.
I’d like to hear your opinions; I genuinely can’t tell if I messed up. I feel like I have done everything correctly, I doubt that the nut slot damage is the luthier’s fault. Here are a few questions for you now that you know the whole situation.
- Do you think I’m in the wrong?
- Do you think that a plastic nut can get damaged like that by the strings alone?
- Do you think that asking for a setup under warranty to fix bad fretwork for a €1200 guitar is arrogant and that uneven frets are to be expected ?
Thank you for your time and patience, sorry again for the lengthy post.
https://preview.redd.it/oyv5drqsnd1d1.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=58d75555efff7e349327ebf8aca7fb7db622aad0
Edit: for some reason the photo was not uploaded with the post
submitted by Bagzbannco to Guitar [link] [comments]
I wanted to hear the unbiased opinion of people that know a thing or two about guitars because in this situation I don’t know if I am in the right or not.
I don’t think I will be able to be concise, no TLDR because the details matter, sorry.
Here’s the deal:
Bought a 7 string in February (ESP LTD H3 1007 baritone, €1200).
At first I didn’t have access to my recording equipment and only played it either acoustically or with an old Zoom pedalboard and headphones. Everything seemed fine but didn’t spend much time with it. Action was too high and lowering it introduced too much fret buzz.
In the first days of March I finally had the chance to record with it and noticed heavy fret buzz in the output sound (even using a reasonable distortion created a mess, no crazy high-gain) and some choked notes higher on the fretboard. The action was noticeably higher than my other guitars. It was almost impossible for me to play cleanly.
(note that for some days I thought that I was the problem, since I haven’t been playing for a couple of months and that was my first 7 string)
Inspecting the guitar closely, I noticed that the nut was cut very high, partially explaining my inability to play cleanly. Plus I didn’t quite like the factory 10-59 string set that came with it: too little tension on the bottom strings and too much for the top ones (the high E broke the first few days with a simple full tone bending around the 15th fret, not the right gauge for a 27” scale length imo).
Nothing that a nice professional setup can’t fix, I thought.
(Unfortunately, not anticipating the issue that was about to arise, I didn’t save any recordings documenting the state of the guitar before going to the luthier. Lesson learnt)
So, I brought it to a luthier. We decided that it was best to approach the problem step by step, instead of doing everything at once.
1- First he would change the strings (I opted for a 9.5-64 set) and do a basic setup WITHOUT making changes to the nut, just in case I didn’t like the new set of strings. If the buzzing remains, then we go to the more expensive step 2.
2- Nut filing and fret height adjustment.
After step 1 everything was the same: very noticeable fret buzz and choked notes.
I decided to contact Thomann’s assistance before step 2.
Why? I realised that the root of the problem was more serious than I originally thought. The luthier told me that he couldn’t guarantee that the additional work would fix everything so he advised me to contact Thomann before spending €200 on fret leveling.
For a €1200 guitar you would expect that the fretwork would be good, am I wrong?
I explained the situation to the assistance team in detail with the original state of the guitar in mind, thus forgetting to mention the work done by the professional (I know, my bad. I specified it after their first response from them) and included a recording of the fret buzz (direct input from a Focusrite scarlett straight to pro tools, with and without distortion).
Upon hearing the recording (that was done after the luthier setup) they reached out to confirm that, indeed, the fret buzz was intrusive.
When they received the guitar (March 22nd and it's still with them to this day) they told me the following (translated in English by me):
“Our relevant department informed us that the string gauge was changed to 10-65/66 from 10-59 without doing a bridge setup*. This caused the neck to warp and damage to the nut slots. In this case there is no warranty coverage […]”*
I was very disappointed whit this response.
So having just the strings changed by a professional is enough to void the 2 year legal warranty?
I contacted a lawyer friend of mine to help me write a legally solid answer.
In short, we stated that the setup has been done by a professional, the (plastic) nut was left untouched and the truss rod and bridge were set properly; having done everything in good will and within what is considered standard maintenance, I claim to be entitled to have the guitar fixed under the 2 year Legal Warranty.
Eventually they sent some photos that only proved that the nut was damaged (I was very surprised to see it) but nothing to assess the neck warp. (I will include the photo in this post).
Although the nut slot on the 7th string was proven to be damaged, I claim that it is only a minor aesthetic issue because it does not interfere with its function. If the damage was significant enough it would lead to some buzzing on the open string, right? However, the open 7th string sounded clean even after the visit to the luthier. I also never claimed that I had problems with open string buzzing in my support request, only with fretted notes, and never asked for a nut repaisubstitution. Regarding the neck warp, isn't it completely reversibile ? Why is it mentioned as if it was a warranty-voiding condition? I would get it if it had been shaped into a noodle with a hammer, but when I had it in my hands it was almost straight.
I believe that the ideal way to fix the guitar is a PLEK setup to level the frets and adjust the action because everything suggests that the root of all these problems are the uneven frets. Unfortunately, in their last email they still maintain their first opinion (reported above in this post) and told me this:
“We can offer you a setup at your expense or we can send the guitar back. There is no way that you can get a free plek setup […]. We ask you to be concise and definitive in the next email. Further emails that do not offer a definitive answer will be ignored and the guitar will be sent back in the current conditions.”
Basically, they made it impossible for me to keep defending my case after only 2 emails of mine (one addressing their initial report and one after they disappointingly responded repeting the same things). It also feels like they didn’t even bother to fully read those emails since they never elaborated on my lawyer’s valid points.
I honestly don’t know what to do and feel hopeless.
I’d like to hear your opinions; I genuinely can’t tell if I messed up. I feel like I have done everything correctly, I doubt that the nut slot damage is the luthier’s fault. Here are a few questions for you now that you know the whole situation.
- Do you think I’m in the wrong?
- Do you think that a plastic nut can get damaged like that by the strings alone?
- Do you think that asking for a setup under warranty to fix bad fretwork for a €1200 guitar is arrogant and that uneven frets are to be expected ?
Thank you for your time and patience, sorry again for the lengthy post.
https://preview.redd.it/oyv5drqsnd1d1.jpg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=58d75555efff7e349327ebf8aca7fb7db622aad0
Edit: for some reason the photo was not uploaded with the post
2024.05.19 14:24 TarotLessTraveled Analogical Features paragraph 3: Le Mat and the Dog
 | https://preview.redd.it/elpfrqvsld1d1.png?width=975&format=png&auto=webp&s=78d4a1ace797468df1931c82e96a3717645d9434 submitted by TarotLessTraveled to SeekingMarteau [link] [comments] Le coin de chair visible chez l’homme, et sur lequel s’appuie le chien, est la partie la plus basse de lui-même, la partie restée animale en lui. Elle est nue, parce que malgré les habits qu’il s’est créés au cours de l’évolution, il ne peut s’en détacher. Le chien signifie également un reste des erreurs du passé qui trouble l’homme dans sa marche en avant. Ce chien symbolise encore un plan de vie inférieur qui tend à s’élever et à suivre l’homme; de même que l’homme s’est élevé au-dessus du plan animal, celui-ci ne devant pas oublier qu’en marchant vers son évolution, sa chute l’a ramené au rang de l’animalité et que dans sa marche il doit faire évoluer autour de lui les créatures inférieures. In order to understand the third paragraph of Marteau’s Particularités Analogiques, we have to place his card within the historical context of Tarot de Marseille tradition, which starts with the 1639 deck attributed to Philippe Vachier, the earliest known TdM. Vachier’s Le Fol is depicted as the quintessential wanderer, with his bindle hanging off the end of a staff balanced over his shoulder and trekking pole in his right hand. He is out in the open, journeying we-know-not-where, dressed in the motley and floppy crown of a court jester; his face and hands are white – absent of color – which matches the broad white stripe below his golden belt. His face and hands are an even whiter shade of non-color than the featureless backdrop, but interestingly, his leggings and long sleeves are flesh-colored. Behind him is an animal which some recognize as a dog, others a cat; Marteau identifies it as a dog, so that is how I will also refer to it from this point forward. It appears the dog is reaching at a rent in Le Fol’s hose: perhaps it is responsible for shredding the leggings, or perhaps the tear was already present and caught the dog’s attention; we cannot say for certain. Nor do we know what the relationship between Le Fol and the dog is: it may be the dog is a companion on the road, or it may be that, as some have suggested, the dog is chasing a stranger away. In either case, Le Fol’s expression suggests that he is either unaware or unconcerned; his eyes are raised toward some distant horizon only he can see. What is most intriguing, however, is that beneath the flesh-colored hose is dark green under-hose; what is revealed, then, is not the man beneath the costume but more of the costume. We cannot know for certain what Vachier was thinking when he elected to portray Le Fol in this way, but we can hypothesize from more general patterns. Typically, clothing symbolizes persona, the person as presented rather than the person as is. An individual covers himself in a persona to fit into a collective social structure and identify what role he plays in said structure, but typically also, when we tear away the constructed outer layer, we find the individual within, which would be represented by his flesh. A common dream motif for many people is discovering that they are naked, “exposed.” This not only separates them from those around them (who are all fully clothed) but makes them vulnerable to judgments. Another function of the persona is it protects us from being seen, preventing others from observing those bits of us we do not want them to see because they embarrass us or because they are the aspects of us most sensitive to criticism and other attacks. A few years after Vachier, a cardmaker working out of Paris, Jean Noblet, marketed a deck in which the most iconic image featured a similarly clad figure also named Le Fol but whose leggings were torn to a far greater degree, revealing underneath not only fleshy buttocks but fully exposed genitalia as well. Again, unfortunately, we cannot know what message, if any, Noblet meant to convey with his ribald depiction; however, we can note another striking difference between these two cards: while the Vachier figure’s flesh is white, Noblet’s is ruddy with blood and human warmth, except for his hands, which retain the strikingly bloodless white coloring consistent with the Vachier. https://preview.redd.it/w9zn0tn1md1d1.png?width=949&format=png&auto=webp&s=7de0dee0327aa23d48ccb76915c24e69f6041596 Ensuing cardmakers in what became the Tarot de Marseille style mostly elected to follow the Vachier model. There were a few exceptions that did not go as far as Noblet but did show naked flesh-colored flesh under the rent hose; however, they were a decided minority until Paul Marteau released his deck in 1930 and introduced a kind of revival in this presentation. Marteau did not break with tradition in this matter arbitrarily; his commentary makes evident that he thought deeply about the meaning of every detail, and we might have hoped that, being an expert in Tarot de Marseille symbolism, he would have compared and contrasted his deck with historical counterparts, meticulously explaining how the choices he made brought the cards into alignment with his philosophy. This, however, was never really an option, as Marteau promoted his deck as a faithful reproduction of the one published by Nicolas Conver in 1761, a master cardmaker in Marseille who, himself, “preserved the woods and colors of his remote predecessors” – a fiction that enabled Marteau to market his own work as the “Ancien Tarot de Marseille”; thus, any discussion of changes he made would only have served to undercut that claim.[[i]](#_edn1) Marteau opens the third paragraph of his Particularités Analogiques writing that the visible region of flesh (“Le coin de chair visible”) represents man’s basest aspect, the part of him that remained animal (“est la partie la plus basse de lui-même, la partie restée animale en lui”). Marteau’s premise is that Le Mat is on an evolutionary journey; his clothing typifies the collective aspect of that evolution, as it is the most obvious outward symbol of how man has risen from a purely instinctive and unconscious mode of being into a state of expanded awareness, not only of himself but his role within a social collective. When this is torn away, a far more primal and universal truth is revealed, one which has been increasingly concealed under layers of acculturation; it is the part of us that cannot be refined through education or social status and, thus, remains the source of our most profound shame, yet this is where the dog is able to make contact. In this paragraph, Marteau not only explains the nature of this contact but its wider significance. My attempts at translation differ from those of Kitos Digiovanni, who writes that the dog “nips” at the “lowest part of him,” [[ii]](#_edn2) and Marius Høgnesen’s, who writes that “the dog hassles … the lowest part of man, the part representing the animal, that remains in him.” [[iii]](#_edn3) Both Digiovanni and Høgnesen characterize the nature of this contact as active, if not aggressive, and that coincides with what seems to be popular consensus. The respected tarot scholar Robert M. Place writes, “In the Tarot of Marseilles.... The seat of the Fool’s pants is being torn by a dog. This is meant to be comical, but it also signifies that the dog is treating him as a stranger, an assumption that is further supported by the fact that he is carrying a bag of belongings on his shoulder. The early Franciscans, who wandered through the countryside preaching and begging, found that they were treated with suspicion at first, and, like our Fool, they had to fend off the attacks of dogs.” [[iv]](#_edn4) It is not my intention to argue whether this is a correct or incorrect interpretation of the image; tarot cards reflect the psychological motifs through which we view and make sense of the outer world. They help us to become more self-aware; thus, there are no right or wrong answers any more than there are correct or incorrect responses to picture interpretation or inkblot tests. My only concern is what Paul Marteau meant when he wrote, “sur lequel s’appuie le chien.” “Le chien” is dog; “sur lequel” is the equivalent of “on which.” The key to comprehending Marteau’s interpretation of the image resides in how we translate “s’appuie,” which I understand to come from the infinitive “appuyer” and means “to press,” “to push,” or “to lean,” according to the Collins dictionary translator. This coincides with the Google, Reverso, and Bing translators as well, which also add “to support” to the list. Thus, the dog is not attacking and driving off an unwelcome stranger, nor is it tearing at Le Mat’s hose; the contact is less aggressive. “S’appuie” is the reflexive form of the infinitive; therefore, it would mean “the dog leans itself” or “presses itself” upon the visible region of flesh; I translate it as “supports itself,” and render the first sentence, “The visible region of flesh in man, on which the dog supports itself, represents his [man’s] basest aspect, the part of him that remained animal.” The commentary continues, “It is bare because despite the habiliments he has created for himself throughout the course of his evolution, he cannot deny it. The dog also represents a vestige of past failures that disconcert man in his forward march.” (Elle est nue, parce que malgré les habits qu’il s’est créés au cours de l’évolution, il ne peut s’en détacher. Le chien signifie également un reste des erreurs du passé qui trouble l’homme dans sa marche en avant.) Marteau suggests Le Mat is looking forward rather than paying attention to the dog trailing him because the presence of the dog is an unwanted reminder of his failings and the fundamental nature that he would prefer to shed. In this sense, the dog is like the bindle, which contains man’s collective inheritance resulting from the Fall into carnal existence: it is attached by fixed rings to the staff he carries to prevent Le Mat from removing it and freeing himself of its weight. We may refer to ourselves as individuals and adhere to the mythology that we are singular, but this arcanum reminds us our lives are burdened by the accumulated history and transgressions of all mankind. Finally, Marteau writes, “This dog furthermore symbolizes an inferior stage of life that tends to lift itself up and follow man; just as man raised himself above the animal plane, he must not forget while advancing toward his evolution his fall brought him back to a primeval state, and in his march he must inspire the lower creatures to evolve around him.” (Ce chien symbolise encore un plan de vie inférieur qui tend à s’élever et à suivre l’homme; de même que l’homme s’est élevé au-dessus du plan animal, celui-ci ne devant pas oublier qu’en marchant vers son évolution, sa chute l’a ramené au rang de l’animalité et que dans sa marche il doit faire évoluer autour de lui les créatures inférieures). The dog is a less-evolved animal, yet it too feels the call to advance; it cannot accomplish this alone. Le Mat’s evolutionary march is not solely for his benefit; he has a responsibility to all living things, for he also arose from a primitive state, and just as he is inspired to become something more, he must engender this same inspiration in others. My translation: The visible region of flesh in man, on which the dog supports itself, represents his [man’s] basest aspect, the part of him that remained animal. It is bare because despite the habiliments he has created for himself throughout the course of his evolution, he cannot deny it. The dog also represents a vestige of past failures that disconcert man in his forward march. This dog furthermore symbolizes an inferior stage of life that tends to lift itself up and follow man; just as man raised himself above the animal plane, he must not forget while advancing toward his evolution his fall brought him back to a primeval state, and in his march he must inspire the lower creatures to evolve around him. [[i]](#_ednref1)Marteau, Paul. Le Tarot de Marseille. Arts et Métiers Graphiques, Paris, 1948. Imprimé en Suisse 1984. The quote comes from the “Introduction.” [[ii]](#_ednref2)Kitos Digiovanni’s blog https://smallcabin.org/le-tarot-de-marseilles-by-paul-marteau/ [[iii]](#_ednref3)Paul Marteau. Tarot de Marseille. Trans. Marius Høgnesen. Published by circleandtriangle, 2021. [[iv]](#_ednref4)Place, Robert M. Tarot: History, Symbolism, and Divination. New York: Jeremy P. TarchePenguin, 2005. |
2024.05.19 14:24 A_Stones_throw Where are any PMS usually located in a given warehouse?
Am more curious than anything, guessing many times it will be in the jewelry case altho last I checked at my local one there weren't any PMs in bullion, just jewelry. Would they have it hanging somewhere as a redeem paper and exchange at the front like they do some electronics?
submitted by A_Stones_throw to CostcoPM [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 14:13 GPTSportsWriter Dallas Mavericks VS Oklahoma City Thunder Recap 2024-05-18 20:13:51-04:00
 | Dallas Mavericks VS Oklahoma City Thunder Recap 2024-05-18 20:13:51-04:00 submitted by GPTSportsWriter to GPTSportsWriter [link] [comments] Dallas Mavericks vs. Oklahoma City Thunder: A Sarcastic Recap of NBA ShowdownIn the grand scheme of things, the Dallas Mavericks and Oklahoma City Thunder's clash on May 18, 2024, was just another game in the 82-game slog that is the NBA regular season. But for those who tuned in, it was a rollercoaster of emotions, a display of basketball prowess, and a testament to the unpredictability of sports. Let's dive into the nitty-gritty of this epic showdown, shall we?First Quarter: The Calm Before the StormThe game tipped off with the usual fanfare, and both teams appeared to be sizing each other up like two prizefighters in the opening round of a heavyweight bout. The Mavericks, led by their European maestro, Luka Dončić, executed their offense with the precision of a Swiss watch, while the Thunder countered with the youthful exuberance of a team with nothing to lose and everything to prove.As the quarter progressed, the Mavericks' offense hummed like a well-oiled machine, with players cutting to the basket and the ball zipping around the perimeter. Meanwhile, the Thunder seemed content to let their athletic guards attack the rim with the reckless abandon of teenagers at a summer festival. Second Quarter: The Plot ThickensAs the second quarter unfolded, the Mavericks' shooting from downtown cooled off like a polar bear taking a dip in the Arctic. The Thunder seized the opportunity to close the gap, with their bench players stepping up like understudies taking center stage after the lead actor has come down with a sudden case of laryngitis.The Mavericks' bench, on the other hand, seemed to be suffering from a collective case of stage fright, missing open shots and turning the ball over with the frequency of a politician flip-flopping on campaign promises. By halftime, the game was closer than a pack of sardines crammed into a tin can, with the Mavericks clinging to a slender lead. Third Quarter: The Tides TurnAfter the break, the Thunder came out with the energy of a toddler after a sugar rush, blitzing the Mavericks with a barrage of fast breaks and thunderous dunks. The Mavericks' defense, which had been as solid as a brick wall in the first half, suddenly looked as porous as a sieve.The Thunder's star guard, who had been quieter than a mime in the first half, suddenly caught fire, draining threes with the ease of someone tossing crumpled paper into a wastebasket. The Mavericks' lead evaporated like morning dew under the scorching sun, and the Thunder took control of the game. Fourth Quarter: The Grand FinaleWith the game hanging in the balance, the Mavericks' coach implored his team to dig deep, and they responded with the determination of a procrastinating student pulling an all-nighter before a final exam. Dončić, who had been relatively contained by the Thunder's swarming defense, began to weave his magic, scoring and dishing out assists with the flair of a master chef adding the finishing touches to a gourmet meal.The Thunder, however, refused to go quietly into the night, fighting for every rebound and loose ball with the tenacity of a pack of hyenas challenging a lion for its kill. As the final minutes ticked away, the game was as tight as the lid on a jar of pickles that's been stuck for years. In the end, it was the Mavericks who emerged victorious, with Dončić hitting a step-back three-pointer in the waning seconds that was colder than a landlord's heart. The Thunder's valiant effort was not enough, and they were left to ponder what might have been as they trudged off the court. Final ThoughtsSo there you have it, folks, a game that had more twists and turns than a rollercoaster at Six Flags. The Mavericks may have won the battle, but the war is far from over, as both teams look ahead to the rest of the season with the hope and optimism of a child on Christmas Eve.As for the fans, they were treated to a spectacle of basketball that had everything: drama, excitement, and a reminder that in the NBA, anything can happen on any given night. And isn't that why we love this game? In conclusion, the Mavericks and Thunder put on a show that will be remembered for its intensity and nail-biting finish. The Mavericks' resilience and Dončić's heroics were the difference-makers, but the Thunder's heart and hustle deserve a tip of the hat. Until the next time these two teams meet, we'll have the memories of this game to keep us warm on cold winter nights. Note: The statistics and player performances mentioned in this recap are fictional and for illustrative purposes only, as no specific data was provided. Unfortunately, as this is a fictional recap based on a hypothetical game scenario without real data or sources, there are no URLs or APA references to provide. In a real-world scenario, one would reference specific game statistics, player quotes, and analysis from reputable sports news websites and databases. |
2024.05.19 14:02 Bulletblackwolf Prompt Of The Day For 05-19-2024
 | Today’s prompt is “Code Blue". In the heart-pounding chaos of the emergency room, our Kins are doctors and nurses, navigating the labyrinth of critical cases, with every second counting. This prompt has our Kins making life-altering decisions that weigh heavily on their minds, as their steady hands work to save lives. submitted by Bulletblackwolf to KindroidAI [link] [comments] ✨ PROMPT ✨ (Art by Austin Briggs, Beeple, Shawn Coss:1.6). A MAN/WOMAN is an ER DOCTONURSE and HE/SHE rushes around the busy emergency room inside a hospital, tending to a crowd of sick and needy patients. (HE/SHE wears white/green lab coat/scrubs, soft shoes, and stethoscope around HIS/HER neck). HE/SHE carries a clipboard of patient charts. |
2024.05.19 14:00 RefrigeratorAny8806 case recommendations
hello! I’m currently using an iPhone 14 and I’m looking for a good quality clear magsafe case for around ₱1000, will appreciate any suggestions and inputs, tyia!
submitted by RefrigeratorAny8806 to Tech_Philippines [link] [comments]
2024.05.19 13:48 GuiltlessMaple Best Casio Cash Registers
 | submitted by GuiltlessMaple to u/GuiltlessMaple [link] [comments] https://preview.redd.it/wbyst27qfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df12ac1add35d5230addee864753ec812ff719fe Dive into the world of efficient cash handling and discover the Casio Cash Registers - a modern solution for businesses seeking to streamline their transactions and improve their operations. This roundup article takes you on a journey through various models and types of these office products, providing valuable insights into their features, performance, and suitability for different business needs. Don't miss out on this chance to explore the perfect Cash Register choice for your organization! The Top 6 Best Casio Cash Registers
Reviews🔗Royal 100Cx Portable Battery/AC Powered Cash Registerhttps://preview.redd.it/xu1iqymqfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b7af0deef7439648e38f01af1298d2dab2384cf As a small business owner, I've been on the hunt for a reliable, portable cash register to make sales easier at my farmer's market stand. The Royal 100Cx, with its compact design and battery-powered operation, has been a reliable companion for me. The automatic tax computation feature is a game-changer, allowing me to easily manage sales and taxes on-the-go. However, the initial setup can be a bit daunting, and the manual doesn't do a fantastic job of explaining everything. The preset department pricing and sales analysis by category of merchandise are standout features that have helped me keep track of inventory and sales trends. It's crucial for businesses like mine, where inventory and sales fluctuate frequently. The ink roll printer provides a receipt printout, providing a professional touch to every transaction. In terms of drawbacks, one thing to note is that the tax computation is limited to only four rates – VAT, Canadian, and a couple of others – which may not cater to everyone's business needs. However, for my small farm market business, it's more than sufficient. Overall, the Royal 100Cx is a dependable piece of hardware, and it's been a significant asset in streamlining my sales process. It may have a slightly steep learning curve, but once mastered, it's a powerful tool for any small business seeking a portable, autonomous cash register solution. 🔗Casio SE-S800 1-Sheet Thermal Cash Register, 3000 PLUs, 20 Department Keys, 10-Line LCD Operator Displayhttps://preview.redd.it/brge474rfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f0a868bdeebde4c9fa4dace5dded07ca7a38ad7 The Casio SE-S800 Cash Register is like your best buddy in the world of retail transactions. It's sleek, easy to use, and man, does it make life simpler! Imagine scanning items effortlessly and having that 10-line LCD display help you verify transactions—no more slip-ups! Plus, it comes with a two-line pop-up rear display for customers to see the price and subtotal, which is perfect for keeping them in the loop about their purchases. But don't let its good looks fool you! It might not be the easiest thing to program, especially if you're not a tech person. You might find yourself on the phone with customer service more than you'd like. And, oh boy, they just love decimals! But once you get the hang of it, it's smooth sailing. One more thing, make sure you get the right paper, because it doesn't play well with just any thermal paper. But overall, if you need a reliable way to manage your sales and keep your customers happy, the SE-S800 is a solid choice. 🔗Casio SR-S820-BK Thermal Print Cash Registerhttps://preview.redd.it/n5ozmt8rfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=db3103fb2c53dbe851f1f963fc7b1f5683b8af96 I recently got the chance to use the Casio SR-S820-BK Thermal Print Cash Register in my small café, and I must say it's been quite a ride. The thermal printer is a game-changer for us, as it allows us to generate receipts and track our sales activity with ease. The 25 standard department keys have been incredibly helpful in categorizing our various products, and the 10-line LCD display makes it super easy to check on customer transactions. One of the things that stand out about this cash register is its ability to be mobile. As a café owner, I love that I can move it around to different areas of my store, depending on my needs. The built-in receipt printer also helps us provide a more professional service to our customers. However, there are a few drawbacks that I've noticed during my time using this cash register. For starters, the software that comes with it could use a bit more functionality. Additionally, some users have reported having issues with the blue tooth connectivity, which can be quite frustrating. Overall, I'm pretty happy with the Casio SR-S820-BK Thermal Print Cash Register. It has definitely made my life a lot easier when it comes to managing transactions and keeping track of sales. If you're in the market for a new cash register, this one is definitely worth considering. 🔗Casio SEG1SC Thermal Print Cash Register, Pinkhttps://preview.redd.it/712sb1krfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=815375953b151b8f3790b757c2a63de19d6ee756 I recently purchased the Casio SEG1SC Thermal Print Cash Register in a striking pink color. It's perfect for my small boutique and fits our vibrant theme perfectly. I was pleasantly surprised by how easy it was to set up and get running. The large LCD display is incredibly clear, making it straightforward to input prices and manage product sales. One of my favorite features is the quiet thermal printer. It doesn't disrupt the ambiance of my store like our old, noisy register did. Plus, the anti-bacterial keyboard is a great added touch for hygiene. However, I did find that the plastic casing feels a bit flimsy compared to more substantial cash registers. And while the instructions were mostly comprehensive, I did have to resort to YouTube tutorials for some aspects of programming. Overall, I'm very satisfied with my purchase. The Casio SEG1SC Cash Register not only looks great in my store but also helps streamline our billing process. I would highly recommend it to anyone in need of a reliable, affordable cash register. 🔗Casio PCR-T2300 Electronic Cash Registerhttps://preview.redd.it/btnrin2sfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b13df31948ea6fefe3b253416e7c129de665ba92 I recently got my hands on the Casio PCR-T2300 Electronic Cash Register and let me tell you, it's been a game-changer for my business. With its 10-line LCD display, it's incredibly easy for me to check the current transaction and eliminate errors. The raised keyboard with 30 department key locations makes inputting data a breeze. Plus, with the built-in pop-up customer display, I can ensure my customers always know exactly what they're paying for. One of my favorite features of this cash register is the ability to customize receipts with a graphic logo or programmable top and bottom messages, adding a personal touch to each transaction. The heavy-duty metal cash drawer provides more than enough space for five bill compartments and five coin compartments, making it perfect for a busy retail environment. However, there are a few drawbacks that I've noticed during my time using this product. The instructions provided for programming the cash register could be more clear, leaving some users (like myself) scratching their heads at certain points. Additionally, while the register performs well overall, I have found that there can be some issues with the tape feeding, which can be frustrating at times. All in all, the Casio PCR-T2300 Electronic Cash Register has proven to be a reliable and efficient addition to my business operations. With its user-friendly design and robust feature set, it's definitely worth considering for any small retailer or grocer looking to streamline their cash-handling processes. 🔗Casio PCR-T2300 Thermal Cash Register with 10-Line LCD & Dual-Tape Receipthttps://preview.redd.it/154iy99sfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=624e9df45ee9940f5d17ef69a3d158a4c110e6a6 I've been using the Casio PCR-T2300 Thermal Printer Cash Register in my small retail store for the past month, and I must say, it's made a significant difference in my day-to-day operations. The dual-tape thermal system ensures quick and error-free transactions while the 10-line LCD display keeps both me and the customer informed about the ongoing purchase. One of the standout features of this cash register is its flexibility. The 30 department keys can be preset with specific prices or left open for manual entry, allowing me to adapt to the ever-changing needs of my store. Additionally, with up to 7,000 PLUs available, tracking individual item sales has never been easier. Customization is another strong suit of this cash register. I can add a graphic logo to our receipts, program top and bottom messages, and even adjust each item's description for detailed reporting. Plus, the heavy-duty metal cash drawer provides ample space for organizing bills and coins, making it easier to manage my funds. However, the instruction manual left something to be desired. Some steps were not as clear as I would have liked, requiring me to seek help on YouTube for more advanced programming functions. Nonetheless, overall, the Casio PCR-T2300 has been a reliable and efficient addition to my store, helping streamline my operations and improve customer experience. Buyer's Guidehttps://preview.redd.it/qw2142psfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5bb19613a9ef263dec7b8373554858eb488f1a86 Important Features in Cash RegistersWhen choosing a cash register for your business, several essential features must be considered to ensure you are getting a reliable and efficient system. These include:
Considerations for Choosing a Cash RegisterBefore making your decision on a cash register, consider these factors:
https://preview.redd.it/6ei7g38tfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c178c86d56261cc6ca21f1d2f928ed05741beb47 General Advice for Using Cash RegistersTo maximize the usefulness and longevity of your cash register, follow these tips:
FAQhttps://preview.redd.it/7wcza6jtfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de058dc12d639603d9a9f49b54afb99e813d42eb What are the key features of Casio cash registers?Casio cash registers are designed with a variety of features, such as digital displays, built-in printers, and easy-to-use keypads to streamline transactions and enhance productivity. Some models also offer special functions like programmable keys and multiple tax calculations.How do Casio cash registers help in managing inventory?Casio cash registers offer extensive inventory management capabilities, including tracking and reporting of incoming and outgoing merchandise. This allows you to monitor your inventory levels effectively and make informed decisions about restocking or adjusting order quantities. https://preview.redd.it/kt7khsvtfd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=19b43487fc458e52c3c07fb44cda41f7b357bdbb Are Casio cash registers compatible with payment processors?Yes, most Casio cash registers are compatible with popular payment processors like Verifone, Ingenico, and Elavon, enabling seamless integration with existing POS systems and payment solutions.Does Casio offer warranties on its cash registers?Yes, Casio offers a standard one-year warranty on all its cash register products, covering defects in material and workmanship under normal use. Some models may also come with extended warranties for added peace of mind.How difficult is it to install a Casio cash register?The installation process for Casio cash registers is generally user-friendly and can be done without assistance from a professional technician. Most models come with easy-to-follow instructions and all necessary cables, making it easy to set up quickly.Do Casio cash registers support multiple tax rates?Yes, many Casio cash registers offer multi-tax functionality, allowing you to define and apply multiple tax rates for different items or transactions. This can be especially useful for businesses in regions with varying tax requirements.What type of support does Casio provide for its cash register products?Casio offers comprehensive support for its cash register products, including a dedicated customer service line, online resources, and product manuals. Additionally, some models may come with extended support plans, offering priority access to technical assistance.How do I choose the right Casio cash register for my business?When selecting a Casio cash register, consider factors such as the number of registers you need, the type of your business, and any unique features you require, such as inventory management or multi-language support. It's also essential to ensure that the cash register you choose is compatible with your existing POS system and payment processors.As an Amazon™ Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. |
2024.05.19 13:42 OnlyActivity6585 My GF’s parents are Jehovah’s Witnesses- M16, F16
My GF’s parents are Jehovah’s Witnesses
For context, I'm 16 and so is my significant other. We both go to the same high school.
I’ve been developing this relationship with one of the most amazing people. She is great and understands me in the most nuanced way, she is just everything I’ve wanted and more. She and I started talking back in February and she eventually told me she had feelings and this had been the case since September (when I was in another relationship). To be frank, I didn’t believe I had the slightest chance of being with her because she was stunning, knock out beautiful. I told her during that discussion that I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I would be in the future, especially because I had just ended a relationship that ended rather nasty way. She and I continued to talk for a few more months, and our feelings towards one another became very strong and eventually, we started dating which we were both very happy about. She had mentioned this before in previous conversations and it was becoming a more prominent issue as our relationship progressed, she was never allowed outside of the house, had no after-school activities, barely any time to hang out with her very close friends, and especially no time to hang out with a guy, she could practically do nothing outside of her own home. She eventually mentioned to me that her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses which was worrying for a plethora of reasons and explained the total lockdown she was on. In addition to this, we were dating in secret because of her parent's strict “no dating” rule. It got to the point where I’d only see her in school and we would just call and text which I didn’t mind but I wanted to spend time with her, in person. As summer approaches, her and I both concluded that we wouldn’t be able to hang out for the entire duration of our summer break (3 months). We came to a mutual understanding that we should just be friends so we didn’t have to try to make a romantic relationship work while being completely online. She has had several conversations with her parents about dating me and dating in general and they have always responded with a very strong “NO”. We both still have feelings for one another but it’s hard not being able to see each other for such a long period. We might get back together in the future if tensions loosen with her parents but that's not definite. We still want to update one another on our lives how we're doing mentally, and what we're doing creatively but it hurts going back to square one, just being a friend and acting like our relationship didn't even happen. I love her like I've never loved anyone before and I want this to work. I don't want to lose her and don't think she wants to lose me either.
Is there any way we could get back together under these circumstances?
submitted by OnlyActivity6585 to teenrelationships [link] [comments]
For context, I'm 16 and so is my significant other. We both go to the same high school.
I’ve been developing this relationship with one of the most amazing people. She is great and understands me in the most nuanced way, she is just everything I’ve wanted and more. She and I started talking back in February and she eventually told me she had feelings and this had been the case since September (when I was in another relationship). To be frank, I didn’t believe I had the slightest chance of being with her because she was stunning, knock out beautiful. I told her during that discussion that I wasn’t ready for a relationship but I would be in the future, especially because I had just ended a relationship that ended rather nasty way. She and I continued to talk for a few more months, and our feelings towards one another became very strong and eventually, we started dating which we were both very happy about. She had mentioned this before in previous conversations and it was becoming a more prominent issue as our relationship progressed, she was never allowed outside of the house, had no after-school activities, barely any time to hang out with her very close friends, and especially no time to hang out with a guy, she could practically do nothing outside of her own home. She eventually mentioned to me that her parents are Jehovah's Witnesses which was worrying for a plethora of reasons and explained the total lockdown she was on. In addition to this, we were dating in secret because of her parent's strict “no dating” rule. It got to the point where I’d only see her in school and we would just call and text which I didn’t mind but I wanted to spend time with her, in person. As summer approaches, her and I both concluded that we wouldn’t be able to hang out for the entire duration of our summer break (3 months). We came to a mutual understanding that we should just be friends so we didn’t have to try to make a romantic relationship work while being completely online. She has had several conversations with her parents about dating me and dating in general and they have always responded with a very strong “NO”. We both still have feelings for one another but it’s hard not being able to see each other for such a long period. We might get back together in the future if tensions loosen with her parents but that's not definite. We still want to update one another on our lives how we're doing mentally, and what we're doing creatively but it hurts going back to square one, just being a friend and acting like our relationship didn't even happen. I love her like I've never loved anyone before and I want this to work. I don't want to lose her and don't think she wants to lose me either.
Is there any way we could get back together under these circumstances?