Dirty things to say to a boy

So, I watched Nobody recently, so I figure I should start off with the positives. It is filmed very well, the fight scenes are engaging, the performances are quite good, and seeing Christopher Lloyd in anything is always a treat.
But now for what the title is about. Nobody is a movie, that starts out, seeming like it has some themes, some things to say. A middle-manager at a metalworking company living a boring suburban life, suddenly turns to violence and vigilantism, after a home invasion. Interesting premise! Maybe we'll get some themes about how stifling middle class life can be, a discussion about what pushes people to violence, an exploration of what that violence does to his family around him...
Nope! Turns out he's an ex-secret agent with a secret agent family who has to go fight the russian mob, and by the end his family accepts that and he goes off on a road trip with his secret agent family on a secret agent mission and everything is fine and nothing of substance was ever given to the audience.
God, this movie was so close to being so fucking good in my eyes, but it just refused to say a single thing about anything, so it could act like a sequel to a nonexistant action movie.
But le bus scene was good, so none of that matters, right? haha

My marriage went to shit after my son was born. I am pretty sure that I had PPD but I didnt know men could have PPD. Unfortunately for me, my ex-wife was not the woman who could have handled it. I dont even blame her, I was just a depressed husband. She lost feelings for me. One of my friend, gave me a golden advice to write a diary. Just put in everything I do for my kiddo, diaper change, feeding etc etc. It became a habit that I still have today. At the end of the day, I know what I did so I dont feel like I am failing everything.
So back to my marriage. Things started to go bad but fortunately for me, I had my eyes open. I realized that divorce was coming two years before it actually came. Our marriage was going to shit, her behavior becoming increasingly bad, sex life was gone to shit. Fortunately, I wrote everything I did for my family in my online diary so I was not gaslit into thinking it was my fault. How many men are here who are chasing the unachievable ideal their wife create out of thin air for them to be given basic decency. I realized that she was full of shit.
(Side note- During that time I found a community on the reddit that I not sure I am allowed to talk about here)
2 Years before D-Day I decided to hit the gym and went on a two year bulk. I ballooned from 155lb to 220lb in two years. My ex-wife decided to stop me from going to gym by throwing tantrums but I didnt stop.
I also loaned few thousand dollars to my friend(who gave me the advice to keep the diary) because his car crashed twice(which is true), which he was not able to pay to me few months after divorce, unfortunately I had no formal agreement with him. I also bought some gold jewelry for myself when my wife wanted to buy some for herself, but due to my bad luck I lost it. We searched all over. After my divorce was finalized, my friend cleaned his house and it was behind his refrigerator. So we got lucky.
We went to therapy, and it kinda worked. Our communication definitely improved and I definitely put in effort and she did too although not as much. I was not an idiot though, I saw the goal posts changing in almost every therapy session and I realized that there is no improving this marriage.
Then D-Day happened, wife told me she want a divorce. I had prepared for this moment for the past year, I had researched divorce laws, custody etc etc. I had thought of what I would do when she asked for divorce. At first I thought of agreeing with no emotions, it made sense but I realized that it would be me showing my hand. So instead I asked her to give me some time to process it. I left to get some fresh air and when I returned I told her that I am not sure about divorce and that we should work things through for our kid.
I think that it worked mostly in my favor, I knew that my marriage was toast and I didnt have any plans to stay in my marriage. But my doing so I was able to conceal from her that I was planning for a potential divorce all along and it kept her guard down. For two months, we worked on our marriage, we talked and talked and talked.
After that almost all interaction with my ex-wife was recorded by me and backed up on a harddrive daily. Between those two months I was able to put a divorce attorney on retainer. Then she called it quits, and mediation was a nightmare. But I was able to keep calm because we were prepared for literally everything. She tried to say that she was primary caretaker and I didnt do anything for the kid but guess who had daily notes for past 4 years about everything he did for his kid in excruciating details along with 2 years worth of her text messages corroborating those notes. I was almost guaranteed to win equal custody if things went to trial.
I dealt with daily shit about how I am bad for wanting equal custody, that kids should be with mom, that son will move around so much its not good for him and trying to goad me into fights. I didnt engage in fights that were not beneficial to me. There was no reward by winning any kind of argument from my ex-wife. So I conserved my energy.
Every interaction was recorded by me, I never responded if she was not talking to me politely. Every word spoken from my mouth was calculated because if I was recording there was a chance she was recording too. I would never know. I was sure that things will go to trial and I was ready with everything but at the last moment she agreed to half split of assets and equal custody.
During that time, I also went on a cut. By the time final agreement was signed I had visible abs. I also made a point that I will sleep 6 hours a day minimum so past 11, I just went inside my bedroom and slept no matter how much she tried to goad me into fights. I didnt compromise on sleep, I didnt compromise on food, I didnt compromise on gym. I knew that there was a possibility that I could lose in courts even if I do everything right but they can take my money, they can take my son but they will not be able to take my health, my body away from me.
Life after divorce is a breeze, dating is easy when you are ripped, there is lots of free time when kid in not with you. I spend next to nothing so money is stacking up slowly. My lessons from my divorce can be summarized as be selfish, be uncompromising on your health and well being, prepare for everything, record, make notes, control your emotions and dont open your mouth unless its advantageous to you.
Its been 8 years since my divorce. I have a new family now.

I don't know I feel alone even when I'm with people I just feel sad I don't know why I feel like this sometimes it's just that to be honest so I try to distract myself with games some groups to talk to people and make online friends just to not feel alone I don't think I deserve something more than this to be honest I'm just this stupid person that just uses his phone all day or his laptop sometimes I get up to clean the house and my grades are worst than ever and I don't really have anyone to vent and feel good cause I feel like I'm just annoying venting with my friends I don't want to be annoying I just I don't know what I want I just want to be how I all my life I desired to be.. a good son, a good student with some real friends to talk to and this just because when I was like 8 I didn't remember well how I was abused and I tried everything to feel a way I feel when I remembered that little fragment of that I thought life was like a game and everyone would forget every bad thing I did I didn't know it was bad and when I knew it and these years I knew my life was going to be bad cause I'm insecure,ugly,stupid etc and I have to charge with the things I did as a kid. Sorry for the long text I just wanted to say this to someone else than my other me who I usually talk to when I feel bad

He will say something like " after stealing the technique of a 15 years old boy you now even steal my handsign, let's see who deserve to keep it ! " or something like that. Sukuna is not ready for the final DOMAIN CLASH !

TLDR: I need space from a friend but if I said the reasons for needing space they’d definitely be hurt, which I’m not aiming to do. In the long run, I find them too much to be around 1:1 and only want to be their friend in group scenarios, with other people around. No idea how to navigate this, nor able to articulate exactly why I’m so frustrated with them.
A (work) friend (not super close but also closer than just work friend) keeps asking to spend time together, to ‘catch up’, but the last few times we’ve done this, I’ve ended up feeling exhausted and, worse, somehow feeling shit about myself. I don’t want to give up my time and energy for a meet up that ends like this again but don’t know how to explain this without the underlying message ‘I don’t want to spend time with you enough to make the effort’. With other friends I still feel tired from the effort of socialising but also feel refreshed & happy, rather than miserable.
The friend in question has made a big fuss about wanting to understand how EDS affects me, and seems to see it as their personal mission to get me to open up, but when I’ve tried to do this and sit with that vulnerability, something about their response hasn’t helped me at all - I’ve just ended up feeling like shit; like I’ve failed at explaining it well enough and that I don’t like myself very much/don’t feel good about myself. I now think this is to do with their response but can’t articulate exactly what it is they do or don’t do that makes me uncomfortable. I have another friend I feel very safe to talk about stuff like this with, and feel supported without coming away feeling bad about myself or exhausted, so I don’t feel like it’s the act of sharing that’s the issue. There have been occasions where they’ve (the friend I’m struggling with) brought up what I’ve shared and used it to somehow ‘remind’ me of my difficulties when I’ve been having a good time not thinking about any of it at all, which I’ve found difficult, as it’s come from a good place but has been thoughtless imo.
I’ve also realised we’ve had a bit of a dynamic going on more recently where they flail (usually about work stuff) and I step in to ‘rescue’ them, so I’ve been deliberately distancing myself from that and not stepping in like I might have previously. I recognise it’s not healthy and saps my energy, as well as plays into them seeing me as someone who’ll always make themselves available, without healthy boundaries. However, their personal issues have stepped up recently and I know if I was a good friend I’d be being supportive but instead I’ve found myself trying to get as much distance as possible from them. When they tell me stuff (usually uninvited) I feel irritated, like they’re seeking (demanding) sympathy from me, and I don’t know how to respond to that. In part this is because it’s tone deaf, eg telling me how exhausted they feel, with zero acknowledgment of the chronic fatigue they know I struggle with - I’m not expecting that no one could ever experience fatigue too, but feel like just a nod to it would go a long way if the other person is going to start complaining to me, especially someone who’s made a big fuss about being supportive of the effects of having EDS. Partly also because they make a lot of negative comments about how things are and I just don’t do well with negativity. I can’t get on board with a ‘I already know this is going to be the worst thing ever’ kind of attitude and don’t know how to respond. I have a more positive outlook (my personality but also I feel it’s a necessity otherwise I’d grind to a halt) but don’t want to shut down someone else’s experience by countering what they say, or force positivity on them, if that’s not how they feel.
So, overall, I’m not enjoying the friendship to the point where I’m not sure I want to continue to be friends, whilst also feeling guilty for being a shit friend when they’re seeking my support. And I have to work with them. I don’t know how to deal with it all. Am I being an asshole? Anyone have any low-key ways of getting someone to give you space without making it a big deal? I know I could say I don’t have the energy to meet up but I also don’t want to add fuel to the pity fire (in the guise of well-meaning ‘support’) I sometimes get from this person too.

This is a week after he broke down and told me the truth about things and that he is sick, would do anything to change and this is a repeated cycle in his life and he has “ruined people.” I took him back after he discarded me for a month, while sleeping next to me in my home, raged on and was verbally and mentally abusive telling me the most terrible things almost daily, and went and slept with someone and possible multiple other people. It’s insane how these people will use your words and emotions against you and as their own. He turns everything around on me, IM the manipulative evil one even though he literally admits to having bpd with narcissistic traits and that nothing he said was valid only to try to hurt me. I stupidly believed he would get into therapy and remember our moment of clarity and I am heartbroken (to say the absolute least) once again. But I see this is truly never going to end, he literally lives in a different reality and will twist any story to make him the victim. I can’t understand how anyone in the world could see themselves as the victim after how he has treated me the last month. I’ve lost 15 pounds and my mind has never been so messed with. There’s so many worse screenshots but I now have the personality and nervous system of an abused person so I feel as if I’m wrong for sharing this even anonymously already. I just need someone to tell me I’m not crazy and this is insanity.

I'm 23M and this might be the worst mistake I've made in my life. So the thing is I helped a friend financially. We both are in college and he needed some money and since his credit scores were too low he asked me to help him get some online loans using my Cibil which I agreed thinking about our friendship. He had poor money management which I've know but he had a stable income source as he runs a hostel. For the first one year or so the repayments were on time and I was happy too since it helped me improve my credit score. Things began to change when many students left his hostel resulting in loss in his revenue. Now I'm in a debt of about 70k from 2 loans and a credit card which has become overdue for more than 4 months. I had some savings of about 20k which I used to clear of some debts. He says he's arranging money but doesn't seem to be getting anything done. He's not ignoring me or anything and rn trying to sell his bike and all to arrange the money but things are a bit complicated. My family didn't know abt all this until a notice was issued to my home address and created a ruckus in my home and its sure I'm not getting any help from my parents. I don't know what to do or how i could arrange some money and I'm tired of the constant calls from the banks. My cibil too has been down completely and I can't even study or sleep properly due to the tension from all these. I regret the moment which I agreed to help him. Is there any way I can get out of this???

I had MT5e’a placed on my bike. They’re solid, can stop a train - BUT the other day when I got on my bike, I got an err25 error on my display. Quick google check says brake issue. I start isolating the issue and sure enough, when I unplug my sensor cable for the rear brake, the error goes away.
I proceeded to isolate further and discovered that the sensor trigger inside the brake lever blade is staying compressed even when the brake is released. Flicking the handle back and forth doesn’t release it. The spring is functional and in good condition.
These brakes only have about 50 miles on them.
Anyone here have similar issues with their MT5e’s - does this seem like a manufacture thing? Any solutions! I whole new brake lever is 100$ and these things are brand damn new.

I’m gonna start by saying I 28F think I have self esteem issues … because it’s the only thing that makes sense . I was dumped by 37M over a little argument over a meme .. the meme was about a guy lusting over a woman he had sent it to me and I made a joke saying ah you did the same before as a joke … I have boobs too so I really didn’t care . He didn’t take this well , broke up with me and said he thinks I’ll be controlling in the future …he claims he has never disrespected me to his knowledge and he would never be the type of guy to be like that to a woman .. I’ve literally had a nervous wreck and a break down about this . I’ve apologized so many times saying my comment wasnt meant to be taken so seriously .
I believe he has a tendency to be non commital. Never been married no kids . And his biggest thing is still wanting freedom in a relationship .
He says I ask for too much reassurance which I don’t think I do lol I used to make jokes like would you still love me if I was a worm but stopped doing that because he said he didn’t like that he has to reassure me , again these are things that I didn’t take as being serious or make or break . And I’ve since stopped
Tbf he lied to me a lot in the beginning and said he won’t do it anymore , our relationship had been on the mend ever since March only for him to again dump me while we were looking forward to having a summer together .
He definitely has issues with closeness and intimacy but I feel I’m soooo trauma bonded that I feel like I can’t move on , idk if I need tough love from people on the internet
But I’m miserable from this breakup and don’t know how to move on .. I’m isolating my self from friends because I’m embarrassed and I don’t want to have to talk about the situation
He says we speak two different relationship languages and that he doesn’t feel like I understand him it’s been three years of this btw
TLDR ; I think I want someone who doesn’t want me anymore

First Post dito pls forgive my mistakes
Hii me and my gf is in a relationship for almost a year na, both of us are Long Distance although pareho kaming nasa manila malayo lang ung places namen kaya pinupuntahan ko nalng sya thru LRT and stuff, pero since september last year nagkwento girlfriend ko saken na gumawa sya ng account sa litmatch. bigyan ko lang ng context, previous friend groups ko kinukwento saken about nakakahanap ng fubu/hookup sa litmatch kaya doon napasok ung idea saken na pang dating/hookups ung litmatch platform. syempre nung nalaman ko na naglilitmatch sya nagalit ako initially binobombard ko ng messages saying na "bat ka pa maglilitmatch kung may jowa ka na" mga ganto ganyan. The evening of the same day tumawag saken girlfriend ko at sinabi na nagdelete na daw sya ng litmatch at akong si tanga naman naniwala kase sabi ko "promise mo na hindi monayan gagamitin" tas sinabi nya oo. then november comes between final half ng november and early december hindi ako kinausap ng girlfriend ko for her reasons na sobrang busy at family problems daw syempre akong si tanga naniwala ulet pero for one week lang after a month i decided to break up with her, it should be the end sana pero nagchat sya ulet na pwedeng magkita and me still being hurt nag agree, and we talked personally and "fixed" the relationship, keep in mind nasa isip ko that time hindi na sya naglilitmatch and actually busy at having family problems talaga. pero FAST FORWARD NAMAN sa febuary this year nung nagtanong ako sa random guy na palong palo mag comment sa second account ng girlfriend ko sabi daw nya nakilala daw nya sa litmatch ung girlfriend ko, syempre ako that night durog na durog na may halong inis and my feelings got the best of me and i bombarded her with messages to the point na parang i got cheated ung messages ko, we didnt talk for a week, tas after everything cooled down we talk civilly and sinabi nya saken na "friend" lang daw ung lalaking yon na sinamahan nya nung nagbreak sila ng gf nya, and i also learned na naka buo sya ng circle of friends na mainly adults sa litmatch, for which i tolerated naman since one of the peeps doon naging sobrang friendly saken.
pero here's the thing, ayoko parin gumamit ung girlfriend ko ng litmatch, ilang beses kona sinabi ito sakanya pero pinipilit pilit parin na pang friends lang ung litmatch. everytime na active at nagpopost sya sa litmatch i always get uncomfortable and even FUCKING RECENTLY kinuwento nya saken na nakipag reconnect daw sya sa lalaking muntikan na magka something sakanila and inargue daw nya na wala nang feelings ung lalaki nayon sakanya and pure friendship lang. im so fucking lost ngayon lalo na malapit na kameng mag 1 year anniversary pero holy shit grabe ung uncomfort at pain na naexperience ko sa first relationship

Hello! This is me.
I will start this out by saying that while I have always known I'm polyamorous I have only been free to be myself in the last two years.
To make a very very long story very short, I was in 17 year long abusive marriage. I was manipulated and gaslit into monogamy. I managed to escape and now I'm in a very happy relationship with my fiancé, who was my high school sweetheart. Although we have a bdsm dynamic (caregiver little) we are ethically non monogamous and I am free to date as long as I stay within boundaries. I am not looking for another bdsm dynamic, but I am open to it with the right person.
I love attention and can be a little bit clingy until I'm sure you won't ghost. I have a chronic illness that is a permanent disability. I experience debilitating fatigue among many other symptoms. But it's OK! It just means I have more time on my hands to spend with the right person. I wake up every day tired, but filled with joy because of all the good things in my life.
I am looking for a connection that starts online. I would love to eventually meet, but talking about that now is putting the cart before the horse. I want someone that I can talk to about anything and everything and get to know all about each other.
I am on the east coast and my fiancé works either second or third shift. So while I am alone in the evenings I do have time to chat all day long.
I love doing crafts of any kind but have a particular talent for crochet and certain types of origami. I love all things scifi and fantasy and consider myself to be part of several different fandoms.
Being a "little" I am very affectionate. I do need to feel safe in order to progress from affection to anything sexual. Feeling safe and cared for is a big deal for me.
If you have attention and affection to give and can go at my pace I promise you that having me in your life will be rewarding. I hope to hear from you soon!

i (22f) am at a very low point at the moment, i have thousands of dollars in medical debt, our land lord is kicking us out of our house, i am just loosing sight of everything. i feel i cannot talk to anyone. so i dont. i dont have insurance and cant afford it so i cant get therapy anymore, im even scrounging for my meds. it's hard for me to even be casual with people i care about and have good convos with them. i just cant do it. everything upsets me or frustrates me. i feel life is so unfair to me. everyone else gets handed shit so much easier and i envy them for it. even my family is noticing I'm getting so much more aggressive. its cause im so depressed i just dont even know what to do anymore. i dont know where im gonna live, i dont know how financially ill survive anywhere. there are so many bad habits i wanna start up and this is all where my remaining strength is going to. my family says ro rely on them but the second i do it turns into a pity party of how there situation is so much worse than mine and i should be thankful. why should i be thankful if bad things are still happening? its not a fucking competition life sucks everywhere.im so tired of hearing all the bad shit in the world. its all anyone wants to talk about anymore. i get it sucks but i cannot listen to anything i just wanna handle myself first. im slowly just starting to grow away from people im supposed to be close to..the only one i dont feel that way with is my boyfriend thankfully. im glad me and him are okay. but even then he lives across the ocean. but as for everything else i dont know. my job sucks, idk where I'm gonna live, ill forever be in debt. i just wish my bf lived here that way i truly felt i wasnt alone. right now nothin excites me. my job i used to like is shit, the people i enjoy hanging with i dont anymore, and i dont know how im going to survive this. i am growing to hate myself more as a person and who im becoming and what i look like. i dont even recognize myself in the mirror. i dread being awake. whenever im not working im constantly trying to think up ways to make more money. by selling my stuff on facebook and shit. every waking hour is me being concerned about money. how im gonna get it, how much, and so much more. i dont know how im going to get through this. my mindset is so terrible and hasnt been this bad in years. i really thought i was doing so good. and now here i am. if you read all of this, thank you. youre the only people i dont mind talking to and venting to. anyone else in my life just doesnt know how to deal with me (i say this loosely) or it turns into how shit is so terrible to them. thank you. im really scared and angry about my future. i dont see anything good coming from it.

I’m not sure if this is the right sub for me, but here goes. I drink wine with dinner every night. Usually 2 glasses, sometimes 3. I have an autoimmune disease and I have chronic pain. I can’t take ibuprofen, so the wine helps me get to sleep. Some people will say that’s just what I tell myself. I have talked to my doctors about what I drink and how much, and all things considered, they are not concerned. As I read posts about people whose lives are better for stopping drinking, I start to think I should make a change. I’m not even sure what my question is here, but hopefully there will be someone with a gem of advice to help me out.

Throw away account because why not?
When we first started dating he loved bombed me with gifts and ALOT of letters that would say things such as I've never felt this way before, and you're amazing, and I could see this going forever, and I never knew how possessive I was till I met you. We only dated a little under 3 months at this point; I decided it would be best for us to go on a break because he wasn't following my boundaries with the love bombing and it seemed like he needed time to build up his self. We went on the break for a week during which he went on this dating app for teens and told me that it was fine he was only on there for fun. I told him at the end of the week that "I didn't think I wanted to keep dating:" and he just replied with "k". which left me feeling like I didn't get closure but I ignored that and would talk shit about the relationship with my friends (we dated in the friend group so we had the same friends (side note: they felt like he distanced himself from them when we started dating and he would get jealous when I'd make flirting jokes with them which we always made; this caused some people in the friend group to feel some type of way about him)) But I would still tell my friends not to be too harsh and give him the benefit of the doubt, and then when my friend Mike brought up that my ex had been avoiding me, him, and Danelle; my ex got upset and brought up something that made me uncomfortable. So I got pissed and didn't talk to him for like a month and a half because I was like you lashed out at me for no reason, and was aggressive towards him when I did; I thought that there was no way he wouldn't have known what he said would make me uncomfortable since every time it was brought up I talked about how it made me sad. After this though for some unknown reason, I felt like I needed him back (p.s i mentioned the teen dating app because he ended up dating some guy on there 2 weeks after we broke up). So I ended up texting him and in the text, I apologized for everything in the relationship even the stuff I didn't think I did, and told him Id like to be friends again and he said he was sorry that something he said would hurt me and that he truly didn't know it made me sad or that I would be offended and we were on good terms again. I called my friend crying cause I didn't know how I felt about my choice and my brain was saying I didn't want him back but my heart was saying I needed him. Fast forward and we are on good terms but don't talk much, later I am out of school for weeks because I get really bad depression from being heavily overwhelmed and find that a game is my safe space because I can stay home and never see the public while still feeling like I'm interacting with something. My ex is really into the game so he joined my game we have a lot of fun and it is my first human interaction in 2-3 weeks. We stayed on call playing the game for 17 hours straight that night and it became a habit for us to have all-night calls, I started feeling like he was the only one who truly got me because he understood and related to a lot of the things I was dealing with and thinking about in my depression and we start to flirt like we did when we first were dating. Finally, I returned to school and saw my other friends and unintentionally did not talk to him as much because I realized how much I missed my other friends we don't have classes together so I only saw him once during passing that day anyway. Once I got home I got on a call with my friend Danelle and she's like see you didn't need "EX" to be in public, and I was like huh I didn't realize that but I don't wanna bet on it. After this moment "EX" gets a little more distant but it's not noticeable so I don't really care, but then I go through his tik tok, and I knew at this point that he had a crush on a different girl earlier in the month, but I didn't realize that he had written paragraphs and made tik toks about how down bad he was for her just 20 days ago. This was a red flag for me since I don't see how he could've gotten over her in 20 days and I don't wanna be his second option just because she won't date him. I end up bringing it up to him casually saying oh I saw your tik tok you should go for her. And he said "Who? Sam?" and I said yes, and he said I told u before there wasn't a spark so we are just friends now. And I said how do u move on in 20 days and he said what TikTok are u talking about? So I sent it to him and he said he couldn't see it, so I was explaining where it was and he said it was probably deleted refresh your page, and I said how was it deleted if I'm looking at it? and he said refresh your page it must have been recently deleted, I said but then he wouldn't be able to see which one I'm talking about. And then he said refresh your page I just deleted it. Which threw me off because I was thinking why did you delete it? and why did you try to act like I was crazy for seeing it as if it had always been deleted? so then he ends up saying that he was 70% moved on and 20% not. So from that moment on he would not get on a call with the rest of us, at first, I was like oh it's okay; he missed the call, then I was like maybe he doesn't see the call notification so let me send a text so he'll know, and then I got so desperate that I was about to @ him when my friend Danelle got on the call and distracted me. It was hard for me because I feel like I need him in my life and to go from calling every day to never really made me desperate for him to get on a call and we go back to how it was when I was depressed. He finally got on call last night and although we stayed up a little late he was distant and not as talkative or giggly as he used to be. also after the talk about Sam, he stopped saying goodnight and sweet dreams when we got off the call and would only say gn. What are your thoughts on this, on one hand, I wanna be like fuck him I don't wanna be his second choice. And on the other hand, I really wanna go back to flirting with him and date him.
But I do feel guilty because he says that he felt like he couldn't tell our friends about our relationship. After all, the majority sided with me whenever we would have issues, so I feel bad that he didn't think he had support during the relationship. Also, decisions for me were hard in the relationship because he would give me his opinion and I'd wanna go with that and then my friends and family would say a different opinion and I would want to go with that; so I never felt like I got to make my own decision without worrying about other peoples opinions
Timeline (dated until December) (No talking until around February) (Started the late-night calls in early May)

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I love their friendship.
This might be an unpopular opinion, idk. But me personally, their friendship is one of my favorite parts of All Stars for me. To me, Ashley is sort of friend that Jake needs for him to realize that not everyone is here to backstab him for their own personal benefit (god I hope this doesn't age poorly.) It's just this really nice bond that formed within teams that managed to blossom. And the way they genuinely care for one another
Another aspect I really love is that it doesn't feel one-sided either, which is proven by Episode 4. Not only Jake is willing to hear Ashley's stories and her problems, but he also takes into consideration on whether she is comfortable on sharing or not. It's mostly just the little things really. Like how Ashley getting annoyed on Jake constantly talking about Tom, which shows some realism, or how in one of the greetings, she recognizes Jake is going through a tough time and helps him anyway, or how Jake has no problem with Ashley being real with him or saying she's proud of him. I wouldn't be surprised if Ashley is one of the main reasons on why Jake wants to better himself.
Some opinions I'm hearing is that Jake trauma-dumps too much and how Ashley shouldn't "babysit a grown man". And while I do recognize that Jake does trauma-dump and need to learn to do it less. We can see multiple times that Ashley has no problem with helping Jake through his problems, and vice-versa. Also, it's a step-up for Jake to vent to a friend about his worries instead of just acting on them immediately.
To me, this friendship is just really sweet, and I would love to see it continue!

Measuring Tap #1

Deshan said to an assembly, “Tonight I won’t answer anything. Anyone who asks a question gets a beating.” Then a monk came forward and bowed: Deshan immediately hit him. The monk said, “I haven’t even asked anything yet.” Deshan said, “Where are you from?” The monk said, “Korea.” Deshan said, “You deserved a beating before you stepped onto the boat.”

How is this case to be interpreted? It's the first case in the collection for a reason, to show us how to proceed. Just like Joshu's Dog in the Mumonkan and Bodhidharma's Nothing Holy in the Blue Cliff Record, this case lays out koan practice for us.
Yuanwu said,

When the ancients brought up a device or a perspective, it was all to illustrate this matter. But before the World Honored One had held up a flower, what’s the principle? Since then, that’s why we buy the hat to fit the head, size up the assembly to give directions. Nowadays they just memorize a million points making complications—when will it ever end? Too much information and too much interpretation creates more and more affliction. When the ancients happened to cite an old exemplary story and make a verse on it, they had to be able to set forth the intent of the people of old—only then was it appropriate to take it up.

The cases are devices and perspectives to illustrate this matter. The Chan masters would "size up the assembly" and apply methods based on what they thought would be most effective. They buy the hat to fit the head. Information and interpretation creates affliction; it was only appropriate to take up when they could set forth the intent. That's what we're supposed to determine here...Deshan's intent.
Deshan was famous for burning all of his books and writings after he realized the principle. Yuanwu says that as a teacher "Every three days he'd search the hall, and whenever he found any writings he’d burn them." Why would he do that? In Deshan's words:

Just have nothing in your mind, and no mind in things. Then you’ll be empty and spiritual, calm and sublime. Grasping at a voice and chasing echoes wearies your mind. When you wake up from a dream, you realize it isn’t so; and wakefulness isn’t awakening either.

From this perspective, where is there room for any writings?
Yuanwu also says of this case:

You have to set forth the intent of those ancients before it can be called citation of the ancients.

There's that word again, intent. The purpose of these cases is to see the intent of these masters. They are showing us something. What is Deshan's intent here, in saying he will not answer questions? What's his intent in hitting this monk? What's his intent in saying he deserved a beating for traveling to see him? They're all the same intent. It's to make this hat fit on your head.

I discovered Shera's videos quite a few years ago, and loved her humour as well as her message to level up. I started noting down all her little gems. They give me motivation, and a giggle too. I am older, in my fifties, and have been happily married for over 15 years, so I don't need her dating, sugaring, or 'get the bag' advice, but I do love her level up advice. I saw another lady share her notes, so I wanted to as well. There are tons, I've realised! I hope you enjoy them!
~~

How do you become the prize?

If you don’t start as the prize, then you aren’t the prize. If you don’t know if your mind that you are already the prize then you can never be the prize.

~~

How to be more feminine so I can be spoiled more?

It’s a lifestyle. You have to act, fake it until you make it, and create a lifestyle. The days that you don’t feel very feminine are the days that you have to use more of your masculine energy.

Remember to always have a space to come back to that is feminine, and recharge yourself with feminine energy. Create a more feminine environment, wear more feminine clothes, listen to music that is going to help your femininity instead of diminishing it.

Keep things that you like to do feminine and do feminine things. Going shopping, getting your nails or hair done, buying shoes, picking out décor for our rooms, decorating tables, going on picnics, watching girly movies.

Recharge yourself by doing some of those things. You need to be able to recharge your femininity at least once or twice a week.

~~

Live the type of life you want already. It may not be on the scale that you want to live it at, but it needs to be a version of it. For example, if you want to live a soft, feminine life make sure your current life reflects that: your current environment, the current way you dress, the current way you walk, talk and act.

The more you receive, the better treatment you receive, if you can get a provider who can let you live a more feminine life, a softer life, then it's just going to get better and better.

But already live the life you want to live, that way they can only improve you and they see how you treat yourself and see what you like and that’s what they are going to be giving you. Your goals will be met just by dating.

~~

What are some ways to keep him interested in he provides well?

Look good
Make sure you know what his interest are
Talk to him
Make sure he feels like he is the man
Look good when you are out with him
Make sure you are pretty and heads turn ‘ooh who’s he with’
His self-esteem will skyrocket when you go out with him if you look good and he’s not going to want to leave that


~~

Men like women to switch it up as long as it’s classy.

~~

Flower attract bees to them by their bright colours and they smell good. Attract men to you:

· Wear bright pretty colours
· Smell good
· Look fresh, dewy and youthful
· Look attractive

Look like the prize. Look like his fantasy. Look through his eyes: what would he like to see?

It’s not that complicated. Bring it back down to simplicity? What do men like?

Heels
Skirts
Dresses
Makeup
Long hair
Red lipstick
Baby voice
Feminine colours
Make them feel good
Give them compliments
Let them talk
Don’t talk about your boring stuff – they don’t care

Use the formula to get success with men.

~~

If you want to dress casual in jeans and a cute top, still wear heels, hair, full makeup. If you’re going to wear jeans, you’re going to need to wear heels.

Also think about this: what sort of man are you attracting. If you wear jeans when you meet you’re going to get taken to a jeans date. Dress for the life you want.

~~

Comment:
When we had a fight I cut my hair short & bangs & went shopping. He was so glad he said “you look like a different person!” The fight was forgotten & he treated me new again & took me shopping again.

~~

"Life is fun! (...) life is a movie, life is a stage. Get into character... "

~~

Men don’t care about anything else but what you look like and how you make them feel.

~~

If you’ve let yourself go, level yourself up to the point that their jaw will drop when they see you.

~~

The only limitations are the ones you believe in.

~~

What do rich men’s wives all have in common besides being pretty?

They’re feminine
They’re classy
They’re not loud and obnoxious
They don’t outshine their husband
They hold back and keep it together in public
They are well proportioned

Shera had a friend who was a little rachet, and she ended up marrying wealthy. She had to totally change everything about herself:

The way she dressed
The way she wore her hair
The way she spoke
The kind of shoes she wore
Her makeup
She had to change it all
How she acted around people
How she spoke to men
She had to change everything
It’s not that she changed who she was inside or her personality
It’s that she changed who she was around men
There’s a difference

~~

Your stock should go up after you get married, not down. If your stock is not rising after marriage you’re doing it backwards. That means still investing into yourself, your beauty, your clothing, into your stash (money, wealth and investments). If you got married and your stock plummeted, that’s your fault.

~~

Loving yourself means putting yourself first as a priority. Knowing your worth and value and not taking any crap from anybody because you value yourself, you love yourself. That’s all loving yourself means. And not talking down about yourself. And knowing that you deserve what you want in life.

Once you do that other people will as well – men, co- workers, your boss, parents, spouse, brother, sister, cousin, whoever. Whoever is in your life at the moment will recognise that you love yourself and that you don’t have to submit to them or that you’re not desperate for their approval. In fact they may start to be desperate for your approval. So make sure you’re putting yourself first.

Don’t be always talking about the other person and what they want or what they think. Don’t care who they are. Don’t care about other people or their spouse or the person they’re interested in. It’s not about them, it’s about you. If they can’t recognise you and they don’t like you, then you are wasting time.

If you have to sit there and be puzzled about why someone is not responding properly or why they’re not doing this or that, it means they don’t like you so just move on and stop trying to waste time worrying about it. You already know that in the back of your mind; you’re just hoping for a different outcome that there won’t be.

Make sure that when you realise you are putting other people before yourself as a priority then you’re not going to get the type of man or people attracted to you that you need. When you can get somebody in the click of a finger and they’re not used to that it means you are valuable and that they are not necessary. They are very unnecessary and therefore they feel like you have even more value because you don’t need them. You don’t need them, they need you. That’s why they seek you out. That’s why they call you, that’s why they ask you out.

Make sure you’re not getting caught up in silliness. If they’re not putting you first, you’re gone. Or you put them on ice; that means you let them figure it out and when they start acting right again then you allow them back into your life. If you’re chasing behind someone, if you’re worrying about someone who ghosts you then you’re not putting yourself first.

And that means you don’t love yourself. A lot of people were taught to act a certain way – not cocky etc – if you don’t, all people see you as is a doormat. You can let down your guards later when they are fully invested in you and aren’t going anywhere, but until that happens they are there to impress you.

~~

How do you fall in love with yourself when you aren’t happy with yourself?

Become happy with yourself:

· Do things that make you happy
· Look the way you need to look
· Continue to do this every day until you are happy

Only you can make you happy

~~

Don’t go out there lookin’ like Plain Jane. Plain Jane gets passed by with the eye.

~~

The key is confidence. You can learn all you want, if you don’t have confidence you can’t pull it off. The key is confidence, knowing your value, and not listening to no dusties. That’s the key, that’s the masterclass right there – be confident.

Be main character energy. Stop caring what people think. Have a goal of what you want and go for it and don’t stop until you get it. Speak positive about yourself and stop dealing with dusties. That’s just it. You do all those things and you’re going to have something. You’re going to get what you’re looking for. That’s it.

~~

It’s not what you look like – it’s how you make them feel.

Are you going to make them feel young again?
Are you going to make life exciting for them?
Do they enjoy being with you?
Do they like being seen out in public with you?

~~

Shera, on when you talk about all your feelings and prior history:

“You’re being an informant on yourself. You’re telling on yourself. You’re giving out all your secrets and revealing everything. So that’s definitely not feminine energy, because feminine energy is naturally dark. You know, it’s water, it’s the cosmos, it’s that. So when you’re revealing everything, when nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re masculine. Because that’s light- everything is known. So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have, because now you’re an open book. And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

~~

“Feminine energy is naturally dark, is water, is the cosmos, is that. So, when you are revealing everything, nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re more masculine, because that is light, everything is known.

So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have because now you are an open book, you’re predictable.

And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

~~

Get them to worry about you, while you worry about you.

~~

How do you find your purpose? You create it.

~~

Leveling up is actually a lot of fun when you are present and mindful about it it’s probably be the best gift you could ever give yourself as a woman.

~~

Stop caring what other people think and live the life you want to live. If you don’t like kissing people’s butts, don’t kiss their butt.

~~

A lot of women don’t realise that if you just get into your feminine, and you stick with your standards, you can get what you ask for.

~~

How to become detached and unbothered?

Stop caring. When you care too much, that’s when you can’t detach and be unbothered. Stop caring, become ‘take it or leave it’. That’s your attitude. You will be fine with it or without it.

~~

Comment:

Three years ago I was getting yelled at a public train station (which we had to take because neither of us had a car) by my dusty disgusting ex. I lived in a cheap apartment with four unsavory roomates and their boyfriends. Now I live in a luxury high rise with a conceirge and valet. All I did today was get a facial, sit by the pool and shop. I don’t have to worry about a SINGLE THING and every man in my life treats me like a queen. I’m truly breaking generational curses; my dad left my mom with four kids alone while she worked at Denny’s waitressing overnight. If it weren’t for Shera’s wisdom I don’t know where I would be today but I just give thanks every day that I saw the light. This is my one and only life so why shouldn’t I be living peacefully and bougie.

It’s crazy how fast life can chance when you realize your worth and act on it. Keep on inching further and further; the more luxurious things you do the more the rest of your life catches up. It literally started with me going to the expensive nail salon instead of the cheap one. Then I felt like I deserved more. I moved into a nicer apartment that was out of my budget at first, then a nicer car, then I started buying designer bags and now I live in an ultra-luxurious place. Small steps and the rest of your life will catch up in time. Of course look your best every day and be healthy. And do not give a second of your time to anyone who does not treat you with respect, remember if they’re not adding to your life they are taking away.

The universe somehow just opened up and rains abundance on me. The more you surround yourself with the vibrations of prosperity the more it will be drawn to you. Ella Ringrose on YouTube helped me a lot to draw in money.

~~

Comment:

Shera ever since I started watching you I have levelled up my life completely. I lost 50 pounds and changed my whole look to be more feminine. My husband was so motivated he started making more money and bought me a home and my dream car. He does everything I want now and he feels proud to bring me home his paycheck. I no longer work and just workout every day and focus on my children. A lot of my family members don’t understand this life but I am very happy and comfortable.

~~

If you give yourself away too easily, your value is low.

~~

10 Important Habits of a Gold Digger

1)high standards
2)high self-esteem
3)perspective
4)purpose
5)options
6)be unapologetic
7)looks
8)business plan
9) knowledge/value of money
10)stay unbothered

~~

‘Busy patterns that aren’t classy make you look older’. You can show how classy your clothing is by the cut, colour and pattern, not the brand or designer.

Look to magazines for style inspiration:

O magazine = for older women
Instyle = more youthful

~~

Comment:
Men need respect, they don’t want your love.

~~

Wealthy men like women who are thin, feminine, and classy, or classy/sexy.

~~

Classic = classy. Dress in a way that you wouldn’t look crazy in a photo in 20 years time.

~~

‘We’re not trying to fit in, we’re trying to stand out.’

~~

Comment:
Looking beautiful, adore your blouse and that classy backdrop. I have earrings very similar. I have to go out now, I’m over 60 and always look stylish heading out the door . Make up and a cute dress today. You never know who is at the coffee shop 😊

~~

Be cute, be feminine, don’t talk so much. Let him do the hard work.

~~

‘You’re not his momma stop acting like it’ video
Women will turn into their man's mother without realizing it! Then he will run.

A lot of times when a woman has been in a relationship for a long time or is married, they start acting like a mother to the man without even realising it. To avoid that, do these things:
· Totally change everything – change how you dress, put more makeup on, wear heels.
· Act ten years younger.
· Don’t be concerned about the things you used to be concerned about.
· Let everything be free and fly.
· If you once worried about dishes in the sink don’t worry about it anymore.
· Change it up.
· If he realises that you stop caring and you just put all that extra energy that you were nagging and trying to organise and keep stuff right or that you were frustrated about – if you took all that extra energy and put it back into yourself – and you stopped worrying about the house and the domestic issues and him doing this, this and that. He’s going to think, ‘Well dang, everything is out of order, now she’s dressing like this and putting on makeup and looking this way, and the dishes aren’t clean anymore, or she’s not nagging me about picking up my clothes and the room is a mess’, then either he’ll get up and do it or he’ll start turning into your father.
· You mirror what they do and they’re gonna start seeing what you are doing by you have to act that way with them.
· You stop cleaning dishes, you start leaving your stuff on the floor.
· You start dressing cute, and say you’re going out.
· You forget to do stuff, or you stop helping out because you don’t want to damage your nails or the Real Housewives is on.
· Start doing the same thing to him – he watches sport, you say, ‘Oh Housewives is on, I wanna watch it. I don’t wanna watch it later.’
· You don’t do any of this like it’s revenge, just like you joined him in not being responsible, or joined him with more relaxed rules.
· He might like it. He might be like ‘you’re so laid back, you look happy today’.
· Then he might start cleaning up more because it’s not an order.
· But as long as you’re happy and not nagging him, he’s going to do it voluntarily.

~~

How you act and how you make him feel will give you more power to get what you want.

· Look good
· Be more feminine
· Speak softly
· Smile
· Laugh at whatever he is saying and make him feel good about who he is
· Let him talk more than you
· Feed his ego
· Act vulnerable and he will want to do things for you, will want to please and impress you

(I added:
· Ladylike, dainty, girlish, delicate, compassionate, considerate, sympathetic, tolerant, warm-hearted, gracious
· Calm, refined and tasteful
· Agreeable, friendly, good-natured,
· Kind, moral, pleasant, delightful)

That’s how you get what you want.

Our power is in our femininity, not in our masculinity, not in being in competition with a man, but making them weak because we are giving them exactly what no-one else does and so they’re not used to it and they yield to it and want more of it and they’re going to do what you want.

Being feminine is the key to getting what you want. There is no magic formula; it’s just ‘being feminine’. Work on that and you will get what you want. Work on your baby voice. Work on asking men for things and help, feeling vulnerable around them and stroking their ego and you can pretty much get what you want, especially if you choose the right target. Don’t go up and choose someone who has a thousand options, go up and choose someone who feels lucky to be with you and who will act accordingly.

~~

Men don’t like jealous women. You look insecure if you show jealousy. If you feel jealous, act like you don’t care – laugh it off.

~~

Men don’t like to be told what to do or have someone running their life. They don’t need you to offer them suggestions – this will just make them feel like a child, emasculated and they will rebel.

~~

Have a hobby and have a life.
Have your own life.
Make yourself number one.

Make sure he likes you more than you like him. If he really likes you he is going to chase you and not let you go, and you don’t even have to do anything to make this happen.

~~

I am not a people pleaser. I live for myself not others. And that’s how you have to be to be unbothered. Be unbothered always and you will live your best life.

~~

I live in a fantasy world every day. That’s why I can create the world that I want.

~~

A dream woman is motivation for a man in every way. If you no longer motivate him, you are no longer his dream woman.

~~

A good actress will melt into her role.

~~

Instead of waiting and having regret later, make the decision now to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for the outside world and what they think. Do what’s best for you in the long run, not what’s best for you right now in this one moment which will pass. Think ahead. Right now is gone. As soon as you think about it, it’s gone.

~~

To be a dream woman and to be worshipped by the man you are with, you have to stay focused on you. Don’t be about him. A man’s dream woman does not mean she is all over him. She has a life. Keep a healthy distance instead of being extra clingy. That way you stay on his level. Make sure you appeal to his friends (in a classy way) too. He will see that others appreciate you and know that he has the prize.

~~

“Put outfits together in your mind when negative people are talking.”

~~

How to be unbothered?

Comments:

‘Fake it till you make it. That’s what happened with me I started to pretend that it didn’t bother me. Now I’m literally so unbothered and focused on myself.’

‘When you are showing that you’re upset or bothered, you are giving them power to know they affected you. I love everyone but I do not argue. I have trained myself not to get emotional even at my husband or family. Being this way also makes you more respected, it’s part of your charisma.’

‘Being unbothered is a choice.’

~~

Comment:

If you're over 35 the best ways to look young is to drink a gallon of water a day....it's good for wrinkles..and helps your makeup glide on like butter.

Eat less and eat as much green as you can (Kale, Broccoli, Spinach) so you can be as slim as possible so that you feel good in your clothes....

Work out to increase your confidence...

Dress your age....nothing worse than a woman who dresses out of her age range...makes you look like you're trying too hard...

~~

Build confidence by not accepting that you have low self-esteem. Every day improve yourself so your self-esteem gets higher and higher. Don’t wallow in it, don’t accept it. Every day tell yourself what you want:

I look good
I feel good
I’m great

Tell yourself that. Give other people compliments, and they will give you compliments. Before you know it, you’ll have high self-esteem. You have to work on it, it doesn’t come automatically. It took a long time to tear down your self-esteem, and it takes a moment to pull it back up.

Just work on it, keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone put you down again.

~~

How to keep your husband interested

· Less communication
· Less giving of information
· Spend more time apart
· Don’t get so close that he is going to want to back up
· You have to get close then back up, get close then back up again
· Look your best at all times
· Don’t smother people and they won’t try to escape you
· Have a life
· Have things to do
· Have a to-do list that does not require that person

Go out and do things. He will appreciate you more when you get back. He will wonder what you’ve been doing. He will anticipate your return.

Don’t let him conquer you. When men have conquered a woman, they will move on. If he doesn’t feel like he can ever conquer you, he will try harder. Never let him feel like he totally has you.

~~

Masculine people (men or women) tend to run to the rescue of others.

~~

Shera, on uplevelling your looks and being your best every time you step out the front door: Don’t let life pass you by. Life is short. Life is very short.

Comment on Shera’s video: My mom went through a season where she dressed up and it just made our whole family and home come alive. I remember when my mom walked into the living room all fixed up and my little cousin's eyes just lit up. He said be careful don't touch her lol. He literally went from seeing her as a plain ol’ aunt to a princess. He was so young, but he couldn't fake it; that was his instincts.

~~
· It’s not about looking young, it’s about looking good.
· If you miss an opportunity to be levelling up, you are only cheating yourself.
· Stay ready.
· Every day do something to improve yourself - hair, exercise, mindset, self-esteem
· Enjoy getting ready – be creative
· If you’re wearing makeup, go bold. Men want to see the makeup.
· Men like it when you look your best. When you’re out in public, people are judging a man’s status by the type of wife he has, how she looks. You add status to any man that you are with.
· If you are attractive, you will have a lot of friends inviting you out. They will use you to attract attention because you look good. They are going to gravitate towards you and associate you with success. Your appearance will get you further than almost anything else.

~~

When you’re trying to lure a man in, dress for that man. Men do pay attention to what you look like.

Broke men pay attention to your silhouette. They look at your body because they just want to have sex with you.

Men with money pay attention to what you wear: your clothes, your shoes, your jewellery, your shoes, your hair, everything. Are you appropriate? If he wants to take it to the next level and take you out and get to know you, start a relationship, introduce you to his friends, he isn’t just looking at your body.

~~

The better you look, the more successful he looks.

~~

Men are visual creatures. Everything men do is based on that they see. How they treat you is based on what they see.

If you go without makeup, hair not done, and dressed badly, you won’t get the same treatment even by the people who see you every day. When you look good, the people around you have a little bit more respect for you. They see you looking pulled together and to see you any other way is foreign to them.

When you are levelled up, keep this in mind, don’t backslide. When a man meets you looking good, he wants to see you like that for your entire marriage. He doesn’t want you to let yourself go.

Try hard to keep yourself up during your marriage; how you looked when you met him is how he wants to see you forever more.

Men are very visual creatures, so when they see us looking bad, it upsets them. It literally makes them clench inside a little bit because they are so affected by the visual.

You are like a Christmas tree or a beautiful ornament. It’s a pleasure to look at you and they’ll want to be around you just for that.

People may treat you badly because you didn’t keep up your looks - a man could be speaking to another woman or ignoring you.

~~

“Just act and dress like a feminine lady. You’re making them feel younger by being in their presence. Watch 1950s Hollywood movie stars to watch how those ladies acted.”

Never help a man level up as they will always put you in a maternal role and look at you as a mother figure.

How to change your mindset:
1. Tell yourself that you are no longer allowing people to make you feel bad about something – that’s your choice.
2. Decide that you want to be better, and each day take action towards being better. Your self-esteem will rise from this.
3. Surround yourself with like-minded people so you can influence and help each other.

~~

People who talk less are generally more well respected.

~~

“Look for the positive in every negative comment or situation, and you will find it every time.

Whatever your weakness is, make it your strength, to fuel you to the next level. That’s how you really level up from inside. Face your weakness head on. If someone calls you fat, flaunt it. Say, ‘So what? Yes, I eat, I haven’t seen a rib in many decades, but I’m happy. I got a lovely husband, nice house, nice car.’

Instead of being a victim about it, empower yourself with it. Your flaw can be your power. It can be your power if you take it and embrace it and stop focusing on it as an insecurity. The more you focus on something as an insecurity, the more other people will focus on it because they know it’s your weakness and that’s how you get affected. Whatever your flaw is, turn it into something that can give you more than it can take from you. If people say it’s a flaw, take it and turn it into a power.”

~~

Don’t listen to what people say; what do you think? Opposition creates interest.

~~

· Be extra feminine in the way you dress, speak, act.
· Be charming - smile, don't argue (and then do exactly what you were going to do anyway).
· Ask for help from your man - opening a jar, lifting something, reaching up high, anything - they love it. Do this three times a day. Say things like 'It's too heavy for me'. Doing this makes them feel protective of you.
· When you are offered help, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine baby-voice.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every day to men everywhere so that it becomes second nature. Things such as asking a man for assistance at the supermarket and smiling and saying thank you in a feminine voice.
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you.
· Look your best, put on makeup every day, smell good, be well groomed, have nice nails.
· Speak to him as if he's a person and not a child - don't try to control him. Mothers control their children and men don't want to have sex with their mother.
· Ask for what you want, but do it in a feminine way.
· Act like the prize to be the prize.
· Be unpredictable - men will get bored of you if you are too predictable. If you are unpredictable it is exciting to them plus scares them a little too. They will wonder why you are different.
· Don't talk so much.
· Mirror how he acts to bring him closer. Say your man is a bit distant; my natural inclination is to wonder what is wrong, try and talk to him etc. That is clingy, a better way to behave is mirror that - be busy doing your own things, happy but busy and let him come looking for you when he comes out of his cave.
· Be feminine in everything you do - surround yourself with reminders of your femininity - i.e. a pink phone cover.
· Be the receiver not the giver.
· Let him think up ideas, with your subtle input.
· Hardly ever text or call him at work, unless you need him to pick up something.
· Dress up every day for no reason.
· Smile.
· Always be levelling up.
· Have a plan B.
· Don't tell him your plans for the day or where you have been - be a little mysterious and let him wonder what you've been up to.
· Keep the mystery alive with privacy - closet, bathroom etc.
· Don't do everything together.
· Have hobbies and interests of your own.
· Make him feel like a man by asking his advice, seeking help from him, not trying to tell him what to do etc.
· Keep up with new trends and the latest styles. Try new looks, buy new clothes, look cute.
· Make him feel younger by being fresh, new and exciting.
· Be excited by life and easily impressed.
· Go on vacation, go out to places.
· Do new things and turn him on to new things. Do new things in bed.
· Change your looks - look different, be different.
· Listen to the latest music.
· Keep up with the latest trends in things.
· Be an exciting adventure.
· Be happy go lucky, not a care in the world, everything is fun.
· Head up, chin up, look around, smile.
· Get all excited when you talk about little things.
· Light up when you talk to people.
· Bring a high energy.
· Wear your hair long and straight or smooth-wavy.
· Be seasonal - with your look/outfit, eating, décor.
· Reinvent yourself regularly.
· Play different characters for fun.
· Channel someone else when you go out.
· Be constantly changing and improving.
· Be a lively woman - bubbly, happy, exciting, smiling, lifts their spirits, fun to be around.
· Grab his hand and pull him along like a child.
· Be energetic and breathe life into others.
· Mirror his body language about 10-30 seconds later.
· Try new things, new looks.
· Practice your charm on waiters etc.
· Be a people watcher in different environments depending on the lifestyle you desire.
· Look from the outside in - how do people view you? How attractive are you?
· Transform yourself.
· Be his ultimate fantasy girl.
· Look good, do your makeup every day.
· Speak to your him as if he is a person and not a child.
· ‘Can you help me/lift that/get me a blanket?’ in a baby voice. Get him used to looking after you. ‘This is too heavy for me, I can’t reach it’. Do this three times a day minimum.
· Ask for what you want in a feminine way.
· Use the baby voice.
· Be extra feminine.
· Be charming – smile, don’t argue – agree (but do exactly what you want anyway).
· Ask for help from men.
· When you are offered anything, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine nature.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every do so that it becomes second nature to you – it will become easier with practice.
· Ask questions and smile.
· Play a bit dumb (not stupid; request their knowledge).
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you – practice on any man to get better.
· Never get too comfortable (don’t let yourself go).
· Keep the illusion going – makeup, hair, lotion, fragrance.
· Look like you did when you first met (me: 66-67kg, long blonde hair, stylish clothes).
· Men are visual creatures and your hair is foremost – long, silky and straight.
· Have your makeup on, look cute.
· Shera’s husband treated her differently when she gained weight and then lost weight.
· Shera’s advice to a lady who gained 40 pounds and now her husband isn’t attracted to her: ‘Lose 40 pounds’.
· Still look sexy even if you’ve been together a while.
· Exfoliate your face and body.
· Have glowing, moisturised skin.
· Use highlighter on your face.
· Wear perfume, body lotion, nicely scented products.
· Wear red lipstick, eye makeup.
· Wear light, modern perfumes.
· Have simple, nice nails.
· Tell him that whatever you want is your ‘ultimate fantasy’.

~~

If you want to be married to a rich man, dress like a rich man’s wife.

~~

Be unbothered

It’s so amazing to just not care. You have no idea how much better your life gets when you stop caring. When you stop caring about stuff that’s not beneficial to you, everything blossoms, everything. Because your attention is no longer on anything negative, it’s all on you, and so you blossom.

How to keep your man chasing you? Be busy, don’t call him all the time. Have a hobby or a business and let him have to go looking for you.

~~

Did you ever feel insecure about your weight?

“No.

At any weight my mental game was tight, it was good. I could get anything I wanted, so it never really held me back. The only thing that would ever make me feel insecure about anything is… I really don’t have a lot of insecurities anymore. I had the normal insecurities of a child. But when I grew up and I understood that you could take your power from any situation, you no longer have insecurities.

If I was insecure about my weight, I wouldn’t be up here on YouTube, and if someone says something about how I look, I don’t care. I say Okay yeah and so what? I’m eating good, I’m living good. It doesn’t bother me, because that’s not what defines me. I’m gonna get paid skinny or fat. I’m gonna be happy at whatever makes me feel happiest. So it’s all about how you feel about yourself and how you value yourself. You don’t base your self-worth on what other people think about you.

And the reason why I teach people you gotta look good if you want to turn heads and make men cross the room is because if you are trying to get a date, yes, you have to be concerned with what other people find attractive. But that should not ever play a role in your own personal self-esteem.

Whatever you need to feel good at the time, tomorrow or today, that’s what you need to be doing.”

~~

Installed in 2020. Have spent 4 years trying to get this connected. Works for 1 minute to 3 days, then disconnects until rebooted manually. First 2-3 years, I was not comfortable opening the generator so I would ask the service guys every 6 months to try to fix the Internet connection. They would reboot it and it would work again for 1-3 days. Then I got people to run a brand new CAT6 to the generator in case that was the issue. Over time, the service guys updated the firmware, swapped to a different RDC 2.4 controller entirely (which eventually also failed after 1-3 days), swapped back to mine, etc.
Today I brought a laptop out there and connected the exact same Ethernet cable from the generator to it. Ran iPerf3 back to a local server and verified 1 GB connectivity over 30 minutes. Even switching to UDP to check error rates, the error rate was 0%. The guys who installed this cable used high end cable testing equipment to verify it. There are 3 internet connections here in failover. There is no chance this is a connectivity issue. The service people say it must be the Internet or cable. They are good at fixing engines, but I'm a network person and that's just not the case.
Finally, gave up on service people ever fixing this. Called Kohler myself a couple weeks ago and they sent me firmware 3.4.5. Installed it. No change. Still fails usually within 5 minutes. If I cold-start (disconnect 2 cables on the back of RDC and reconnect), it usually is connected for up to 2 days. If I reboot from the menu, it connects for about 5 minutes. That's a mystery I have not solved. Why is a cold start more reliable than a menu reboot. Anyway, maybe just flukes.
So here I am 4 years later trying to get the simplest connectivity going. Recently had a massive power outage a few weeks ago. Really want to get this thing online for the future. I have seen several posts in the past here on this general topic, but not clear what the real consensus is. Does this dog just not hunt? It feels like this feature is not designed well. The PIN number reset cold start thing is very bad design. The unit used to be DHCP, but for precision during this process I have assigned it a static IP for the last year or so. If you go through the menus on the device, it says it is connected to Kohler even though on their app you can see it is not. This seems like such a trivial problem to solve in the firmware/software that I also assumed updating the firmware would surely fix it. Not the case apparently.
Does anyone have these working and if so what was the secret?

We were talking about a book and I said someone who has anger issues can be abusive and then she said that according to that I also am a abusive person bc I have anger issues. I couldn't say anything. Idk if I have anger issues or not. I do get angry sometimes and I throw things but it's not that often. I am trying to get out my anger in a healthy way bc I am always bottling my feelings. Even when I get really angry and hurt someone I say sorry. I'm struggling from anxiety and depression it's hard for me go thru a day sometimes I wish someone just saw me. Ik that my sister is a teenager and I shouldn't take her words seriously but it hurts when the closest person in your life says something like that. I feel like a monster unwanted, ugly, useless I just want some kindness. I am always trying to be better to be kinder give whatever I have to others but nothing matters. Idk why I do these things when nobody else cares abt me.

So this may be me but am I the only one who thinks that the Dino Charge villains minus Sledge are all traumatized like for example I think Fury has angered disorder and whenever wrench cries he's faking it to let out his emotions as a coping mechanism and I'm pretty sure both wrench and fury have PTSD and what I'm going to say is dark but I think poissandra has stocklum syndrome because she's a literal slave of sledge and yet she acts like a wife to him and she's in love with him and if that doesn't say Stockholm syndrome then I don't know what and may I remind you that all the villains on Sledge ship are all not willingly there is there a bounty Hunts on all of them and he just so happened to catch all of them and don't get me started on the overcrowding cells as well and the fact that Sledge starve them honestly I feel bad for the subordinates of sledge in Power Rangers Dino Charge as they seem to be mentally messed up and the Twisted thing is they only Fight the Power Rangers to get freedom by getting an energem that's the only thing they have on their minds so the Power Rangers are unintentionally helping traumatize the villains

I had MT5e’a placed on my bike. They’re solid, can stop a train - BUT the other day when I got on my bike, I got an err25 error on my display. Quick google check says brake issue. I start isolating the issue and sure enough, when I unplug my sensor cable for the rear brake, the error goes away.
I proceeded to isolate further and discovered that the sensor trigger inside the brake lever blade is staying compressed even when the brake is released. Flicking the handle back and forth doesn’t release it. The spring is functional and in good condition.
These brakes only have about 50 miles on them.
Anyone here have similar issues with their MT5e’s - does this seem like a manufacture thing? Any solutions! I whole new brake lever is 100$ and these things are brand damn new.