Recently I’ve attended one of the seminars for an insurance company just out of curiousity after I was invited and their speakers are mostly already well off agents in their 7th to 10th year.
Hence I feel like it was easy for them to promote the idea of becoming an FA but I’d like to hear stories from those who have just started out.
What did the people in your life think when you finally became one?
Did you burn any bridges?
Are you struggling to sustain your life?

So my husband and I adopted this beautiful 11 month old girl yesterday. We had never heard of a Black Mouth Cur before. The shelter worker said she was some kind of mutt with lab, and Pitt and Sheppard in there with maybe a chihuahua or a jack russell. We took her home.
The dog looked really elegant to me and not like a usual pitt mix (not super muscular or stocky) I texted a photo to my sister and asked what she thought the breed mix was and she immediately said “that’s a black mouth cur,” and after a quick google I realized that’s our girl.
So the problem is, we live in a small apartment. I run, walk or hike at least 6 miles daily so the plan was to get a sturdy mutt that would be pretty happy with that level of exercise (and two shorter walks in the day) and be a couch potato with me the rest of the time. The shelter said this dog would be a great fit.
Now that I’ve read about curs, they seem like they’d be miserable in an apartment even if I take them out for at least an hour and a half daily. Also, we have a cat (they haven’t met yet, we’ve been sure to follow the instructions for a slow introduction) and I’m a bit worried about the breed’s prey drive. The shelter said she previously lived with cats but I’m starting to feel skeptical about the information I received from them.
Is keeping this dog an extremely bad idea? She is really good natured and I can see she’s super smart but we’re not very experienced as dog owners (we had them growing up but this our first dog together). I don’t want the poor girl to be unhappy or pick up bad behaviors from us. I suspect she came from a household with a lot of land because she has 0 leash training (we were planning on doing group classes this week).
We have lots of resources for training or dog daycare but we’re concerned this won’t be enough if she doesn’t have enough outlets for her energy. If you have any thoughts as a cur owner I’d love to hear them. Thanks for your help!

It has taken me more than 8 years to finally feel comfortable and confident to post a review about Gavin Chan. In 2015 I went to the Victorian Cosmetic Institute & was talked into having 4mls of filler injected into my cheeks & nasolabial folds to lift my cheeks by self appointed “cosmetic medicine specialist” Dr Somaiye Kadivar. I was told that the filler was temporary & would last anywhere between 12-18 months.
Once the procedure was over I looked in the mirror & noticed one cheek was higher while the other cheek was lower & further out from my nose. My nasolabial folds were arched, crooked, unnatural & everytime I smiled my cheeks would pop out like golf balls. I hated the results because the filler added volume instead of a lift like I was led to believe.
Just the thought of what I would have looked like if I had gone ahead with the 12 month "alternative treatment plan" devised by the “cosmetic medicine specialist" Dr Somaiye Kadivar who recommended 12mls of filler costing me over $9,000 and 60 units of Botox every 3 months for $720 per treatment gives me nightmares.
Soon after I contacted the owner of the Victorian Cosmetic Institute Gavin Chan and complained about the botched filler. He assured me it was easily & instantly reversible by injecting Hyaluronidase which is used off label to dissolve fillers. After several attempts over the coming days & weeks it was quite obvious that the filler was still present.
On one occasion Gavin Chan dissolved my tear troughs via the cheeks yet I never had filler in my tear troughs to begin with. On another occasion while injecting Hyaluronidase he also started to inject filler into my temple without prior warning. When I asked him why he was injecting my temple he told me he was compensating me for my troubles yet never mentioned that the temple is a danger zone & a risky area to inject.
In total I had 6mls of filler injected into my face within 19 days, yet on the Victorian Cosmetic Institute's website it states that 1ml of filler is enough for the entire face. On each occasion Gavin Chan never informed me of the risks, dangers & complications associated with Hyaluronidase & never gave me a consent form to read and sign.
A few years later I had a consultation with Professor Mark Ashton who is an expert in filler complications & he told me that if the filler hadn't dissolved by now then it was permanent. He gave me a referral for an MRI of the head which detects the exact amount of filler & the exact location of the filler. The MRI report stated that I still had upto 4mls of filler in my face even after all the dissolving sessions from many years ago.
On Dec 3rd 2018 I showed Gavin Chan my MRI results who had no idea at the time that MRI scans can detect fillers. His recommendation was more dissolving but in a larger dose so he flooded my face with Hyaluronidase yet never recorded the amount in my clinical notes. When I went back for a follow up consultation on Dec 10th 2018 he contacted radiologist Mobin Master in my presence who also appeared not to be aware at the time that MRI’s can detect filler but suggested I get another MRI anyway.
Not long after, Gavin Chan contacted me via email thanking me for bringing the MRI information to his attention instead of thanking Professor Mark Ashton who he had previously corresponded with via email regarding my MRI results. For some unknown reason it did not occur to Gavin Chan that Professor Mark Ashton deserved all the credit for having known all along that MRI’s can detect dermal filler.
Instead Gavin Chan chose to capitalise on this information by making a YouTube video claiming he had made this discovery after doing quite a few MRI's (not sure how this is possible as he is not a radiologist). He also stated in his email that he wanted to inject a very high dose of Hyaluronidase to try and dissolve the filler again for the 5th time.
In the meantime I noticed that my facial structure had collapsed, I developed deep hollows under my eyes, my cheeks caved in, my marionette lines were deep, long & dragged down. The corners of my lips sunk into my mouth & my skin was extremely loose, saggy & stretchy all the way down to my neck.
Hyaluronidase did not dissolve my fillers but instead permanently dissolved my connective tissue as it can't distinguish between the skin's own HA & the HA in dermal fillers. Hyaluronidase has aged my facial features by 10 years & only a full facelift & necklift can fix this.
In 2019 & 2020 I took Gavin Chan to VCAT, a small claims court requesting a refund & a corrective advertising order because his website falsely advertised that the temporary fillers they use last anywhere between 12-18 months. Gavin Chan was granted lawyers on the grounds that his business reputation was at stake while I had to represent myself.
I cross examined him with over 90 questions & I presented over 100 pages of supporting evidence & documentation while he only had photos & amended clinical notes. Mobin Master was also present in court supporting Gavin Chan. The hearing was held over 2 days & my claims were eventually dismissed by the judge.
Gavin Chan who “specialises” in cosmetic procedures got away with not providing a patch test for Hyaluronidase and not providing a consent form for Hyaluronidase on each occasion amongst other things.
Mobin Master who began posting the first MRI images on his Instagram account 1 week after the first VCAT hearing in Nov 2019 now identifies as an “aesthetic radiologist” and a “world pioneer” in filler longevity.
Gavin Chan, the self appointed “doctor trainer” for various dermal fillers and anti-wrinkle injections and “cosmetic surgeon” as he once claimed to be isn’t even a GP, he is just a medical practitioner with no other formal training. His only qualification is a Bachelor of Medicine/Bachelor of Surgery with a “background in intensive care, anaesthesia and emergency medicine.
Gavin Chan who medically reviews his own articles has provided cosmetic procedures such as anti-wrinkle injections, dermal fillers, liposuction, facial fat transfers, skin needling and laser treatments since 2004 and has held advanced one-on-one injector training workshops for dermal fillers yet has no certificates or credentials listed on his Victorian Cosmetic Institute’s website.
In my opinion Gavin Chan has a special interest in portraying himself as the master of cosmetic injectables in an unregulated industry. He is an injectable junkie, obsessed with the syringe & makes no apologies for ruining my life. I hold Gavin Chan responsible for destroying my looks and my life.
In late 2023 I was threatened on 2 occasions with legal action for posting Google reviews on Gavin Chan. His lawyers instructed me to remove each review within 7 days otherwise I would be sued for defamation in the Federal Court of Australia. I wasn't even given a chance to respond to each email when my reviews were both taken down.
I have no doubt in my mind that Gavin Chan was behind the removal of my reviews. In my opinion, Gavin Chan pays a lot of money to have my reviews removed as he doesn't want anyone finding out about me and the truth about him.
I challenge Gavin Chan to explain to the general public, his patients and to his social media followers what he actually means by "background in intensive care, anaesthesia, and emergency medicine" as well as publicly display all his credentials on social media (qualifications, certificates and training) in anaesthesia, liposuction & cosmetic procedures such as cosmetic iniectables & laser treatments.
Update: In early 2024 I received further threats from Gavin Chan's lawyers for posting this Reddit review and a RealSelf review regarding my personal experience and results. “Articles medically reviewed by Dr Gavin Chan" & " Dr Gavin Chan has a background in intensive care, anaesthesia, and emergency medicine" have since been quietly removed from the Victorian Cosmetic Institute website.
If you are a cosmetic injectable victim or want to be well informed regarding what can go wrong please join BOTCHED FILLERS & HYALURONIDASE DAMAGE SUPPORT GROUP on FB.

hallo zusammen,
I've been investing in crypto since 2017. I was computing profits based on "global FIFO" - that is, considering all wallets as a single one. I structured my trades so that the short-term gain tax is zero. In 2022 there was a clarification (https://datenbank.nwb.de/Dokument/939203/) that one needs to compute it based on depo.
I learned about this only in 2023 when preparing declarations for 2021 and 2022. I recalculated profits according to the new rules, which resulted in ~15.000 short-term income over the years (2017-2020). We declared the 2021 portion as a part of 2021 declaration. My tax advisor also sent a e-mail to tax office regarding years 2017-2020 (which were already processed), including the short-term gains. The long-term gains were much higher (very low 6 digits). In that email to FA, she asked to retroactively amend those declarations to include the new gains.
This took place in late 2023. Now my tax advisor learned from FA that in January I (or the tax advisor - not clear and they won't say) should have received a letter from "another department" of the FA. According to my tax advisor, FA employee was secretive about it, which my tax advisor explains means that this is from bußgeld- und strafsachenstelle. We didn't receive the letter (I 100% didn't not so sure about the tax advisor, as she missed quite a few other letters from FA). It's not clear why they didn't send more letters. The FA employee said that she asked the other department to contact us again.
I understand, this means that there is a proceeding i.r.t. tax evasion. I'm spending days trying to understand how and actually what exactly could have happened. If they disagree with my short/long split, AFAIU, they'd just ask or issue a tax return with different split. It's not clear why would they open bußgeld- ioder strafsachen proceedings without further inquires, especially given that I voluntarelly disclosed that income. I understand we'll need to wait for further info, but does anyone here have any idea what might have happened? Of course this all will be speculation, but I'm extremely eager to understand any potential reasons.
I don't know if it's relevant, but I live in EU-ausland for ~2 years already. Really wanted to close my German tax affairs, but now the situation seems bleak.
Any advice, words of support or just spekulation is highly apprecaited.

Hi guys. I am making this publication because I feel worried and I would like you to please read my case and respond to me based on your experience. I really need it... and I don't know if it's this the right forum...
I am a 25 year old man who attends parties and drinks alcohol occasionally and with self-control, my head may spin, but I am always aware and remember everything. On Saturday, May 11, I attended a party where I went alone and was drinking and socializing with different groups. I have no idea how much I drank all night, but it was several sips of a 6% vodka carbonated drink. I believe that from 11 p.m. until 4 a.m it will have been 1 liter in total, I think. I usually drink little by little, but when the party got exciting around 3:30 a.m It was when I started drinking the drink as if it were water (By then I had already joined another group). At 4:20 a.m They were already throwing us out of the place because they were already closing and I left with this group walking towards the whereabouts (which was 20 minutes from where we were). By then my condition was normal, I was not sleepy and much less drunk, I was super aware of what was happening around me. A few minutes later while I was walking... in the blink of an eye I wake up in a hospital with an serum IV, but only for a brief moment because then in another blink of an eye I remember that I am getting to my room with the help of my relatives and the first thing I do is turn on my PC, I could barely write and I tried to look for answers and what had happened, but my head hurt a lot like I had a hangover. (My jacket, my glasses, my cell phone, my card were stolen, and the password had been changed on one of my emails) After that I don't remember much, I think I went to sleep and got up the next day in the early morning more aware. That day I had not eaten anything all day.
In my emails he said he had done a transfer at 4:52 a.m. and another at 08:06 a.m. and I wonder: How? Because to enter mobile banking you need a pin number (I don't have my fingerprints registered in the app, only to unlock my cell phone) and then according to my Google route at 4:48 a.m. I was already at the whereabouts, where they found me lying on the ground 3 hours and later notified my relatives. Why can't I remember anything? Is it possible that I was drugged or did I just drink too much? This is the first time this has happened to me and I am worried about how I was able to be so accessible to give important information, because I have no signs of having been physically attacked and to this day I have a slight taste bitter in my mouth.
My mom shows me the photos of that day in the hospital where I look terrible, my eyes drooping, staring at nothing, and super serious. She said that sometimes she would shake (maybe from the cold) and she could barely get up. The only words I said to my mother were: How did you get there? How did you find me? She also says that I was the one who had given the number when the police had found me lying there. (He tells me all this days later)
It's been 1 week since then, I've cried a lot and I can't sleep because I can't understand how this happened to me, but I'm grateful to God for being alive and without any injuries.
Has something like this happened to you? Some answer? How does the body of a person with excess alcohol function? Do they really faint? In the sense that they faint fall to the ground? Or is there another type of internal fainting? I'm new to this and I would appreciate if you could answer me, please. Sorry for my English, I'm using a translator.
Thank you.

Just want to vent on how I feel today I decided to unadd my ex and everything because because seeing photos of her kinda reopens wounds and makes me sad lmao
A little backstory it’s been 8 months since we’ve broken up but three months since I’ve moved out of our apartment. I’ve sort of been okay since then and we agreed to be friends. I kinda thought i had moved on and we’d message every now and then but nothing too deep because i wanted to respect her and give her the space she needs but this week i dunno why but I’ve been missing her a lot by seeing her post herself on instagram and such and thought it’d be a good idea to unadd her on her socials today to give myself that peace of mind and cut all ties. I told her what i did saying it’ll be good for me to do it and she said that she wishes me the best i dunno guys i somehow feel like I’ve made the wrong decision because it feels like we’ve broken up again and I’ve been upset since
I kinda want to message her. I feel like i regret unadding her because it feels like the last nail in the coffin or the last string attached.
I dunno i feel lost atm (feeling cooked)

I want to be hopeful and optimistic but the vast number of online disappointments make it difficult. Here are some things I don't want. Please don't contact me if you are not interested in reading the post. or do not want to talk long term and would be planning on ghosting me or disappearing within 1-2 days.
I am someone who is quite a sweet and effortful person. I would love an online connection with someone similar to me and have good, intellectual conversations and also share some laughter and affection. Affection can light us up and make us happy. (Even platonic connection is fine.) I like giving and receiving affection in the form of cute, little nicknames for each other, checking up on each other, asking about each other.
Of late, I have been watching a lot of couple pranks on YouTube. They teach me a lot about couple dynamics (what kind of dynamics are healthy and what are toxic). It would be nice to have someone to discuss these kinds of dynamics with. Sometimes I like those pranks where one pretends to be angry and the other kind of comforts them. It would be nice if we could enact that sometime.
I hope my words sail to some worthwhile eyes on the winds of destiny.
I have grown wary of superficial connections, no effort replies and even abrupt ghosts.
I would like someone with whom I can exchange sweet words with. I am quite a romantic person and I was more so as earlier. A lot of responsibilities were thrust upon me with time, but I have rediscovered that side of myself. I would love to have a pretend romance with an online companion - where we pretend like we are long lost soul mates and trade fiery words of sweet passion for each other.
But, that is completely optional. I am fine with a wholesome, platonic connection as well.
If you've reached this far, it's because of some happy confluence of my words, the Reddit algorithm and fickle fortune.
Our meeting seemed to dangle so much on fate, it's only fair we pay our dues. Give it our best shot. Do justice to the matchmakers of heaven - The directors of this romance.
I'm on the quest for a sweet companion. Someone with a good heart. Kind and empathetic - Like my own. The good person at the end of the romcom when the attractive antagonists lose their allure.
I love bonding with someone through heart to heart conversation. Through exchanging genuine care and concern. Through passionate exchange of our interests and hobbies. Through clockwork logging of our daily lives. Through mindful curiosity in each other's interests. Through mutual preference for glitter over gold, depth over deception, charm over carelessness and symphonies over superficiality.
The conversation starts out with pleasantaries and outward introduction of our demographic information - the most rudimentary. The most formal. Gradually, the outer layers crack and a mild joke cuts across the mask and we're another layer deep. Common or different tastes in art are the usual social custom for making new acquaintances.
Soon, our conversation flows like a roaring river eliciting deep intellectual and emotional responses from both of us.
We're discussing prized memories and cherished fantasies of the future. Chalking out hypotheticals and admiring the other's world views. Pretty soon, we're suddenly bare and feeling a strong bond by virtue of what we've shared.
Small silences punctuated the conversation. These silences were not awkward. It was a comforting waterfall of connection. It was the silence that followed from both of us knowing and enjoying the bond created by our hearts.
I loved the feeling of ending a conversation with a stranger on the first day with the feeling you've known them for years. I harboured romantic beliefs that such a connection must be the byproduct of a relationship in a previous life !
Here are a few things about me -

• I love staying at home.
• I do not drink or smoke and don't like going to noisy pubs. Although there are times when friends or office parties are conducted there, it's something I just tolerate.
• I love reading. I am interested in programming, Mathematics, Chess, Science, Psychology, Geopolitics, Space, Literature (fantasy particularly or late but I like all kinds) and Self Help (Productivity and Positive Psychology) - and a lot more ! I'm generally intellectually curious and a lifelong learner.
• I love following updates on things I'm passionate about and sharing them regularly. I love following podcasts and blogs and videos on them and sharing and discussing them. I also love explaining a new thing I have learnt as it helps me understand it better.
• I tend to be positive and look at the brighter side of life usually. But I also like sharing the problems I am going through and like listening to your's.
• I love animals. I have a lot of pets. I am also quite close to my family and am surrounded by my loving pets (5 dogs and 4 cats). I recovered from dengue last month and they were always around me all the time. It felt very good.
• I love putting in effort into messages and writing effortful messages and generally use complete words and not much abbreviations. I love crafting a symphony of text.
• I am usually quite calm and supportive and remember things that are told to me in conversation. I like getting emotional and expressive and am soft hearted and sensitive. I am also quite mature and enjoy talking to similarly mature people.

Do not reach out to me if you're just bored, did not read the post, don't like anything about me or my profile or don't know what you want or don't want to invest in having a good connection or don't even have the intention for talking for a few weeks. I am already quite hurt at repeated ghosting so please do not even reach out to me if you intend to ghost by tomorrow or next week.
Here's what I would like from us

• Genuine interest, care and empathy for each other - Making each other a priority though we are strangers at first. That's part of the excitement in jumping head first into this ! That does not mean we do not respect each other's busy schedules or commitments. I'm looking for something really genuine.
• Regular effortful messages, and remembering things the other says
• I love sharing or explaining anything new I learn, whether it is a blog post, podcast, video, book or a general thought that came through my mind. It would be great if you love listening to good explanations and are interested in such things. I'd also love it if you too like sharing blogs or podcasts on topics that you are interested in but it's not necessary.
• I also love self improvement and sharing progress or motivation as we are doing things towards our goals and dreams.
• I love voice calls as I love the sound of voice. I would love it if you are someone who is excited at having regular voice calls (2-3 times a week) or at least exchanging voice messages at times !
• We don't need to have similar taste in art (music, TV shows, movies). I am open to learning about new kinds of interests and new subcultures !
• Openly sharing our thoughts on the bigger ideas and arcs of life and also venting about the smaller frustrations
• Being excited at receiving messages from the other person every time we light each other's phones up.
• [Optional] Some online romance where we sometimes say things to each other that make us blush like our first crush. A little romance to brighten each other up. Though this is completely optional. Sometimes sharing sweet, romantic messages with each other and maybe even doing this on voice calls too.

Also would be nice if we can just share photos so we can visualise what we look like as I like sharing photos when I go somewhere. I just like getting this out of the way. It doesn't matter to me what you look like, but I do like to know whom I'm talking to make us blush like our first crush. A little romance to brighten each other up. Though this is completely optional. Sometimes sharing sweet, romantic messages with each other and maybe even doing this on voice calls too.
Also would be nice if we can just share photos so we can visualise what we look like as I like sharing photos when I go somewhere. I just like getting this out of the way. It doesn't matter to me what you look like, but I do like to know whom I'm talking to.

My fire station needs a logo for our station shirts and engine. Each station in our department has been tasked with creating their own, and ours has to be the best. I have combined everyone's wants, and l'd like to find someone to combine those ideas into a single design. The basic idea is a Mexican Catrina style sugar skull, with the objects inside the skull that are associated with firefighting. These could be halligans, axes, ladders, hoses, bugles...
The design is based on the Fire Department Coffee logo, which is linked. You'll notice it has hoses and bugles built into the design of the skull. In one eye, I'd like a four leaf clover, in the other l'd like the lAFF logo (our union). For the helmet shield, please add our station number (3). Above the logo, as a banner, the word "Westside" and across the bottom a banner that says “Bomberos."
I'd like it to look similar to the original photo of the sugar skull, but different enough that it's not a rip off.
Here is a link to the logo it’s based on: https://www.firedeptcoffee.com/collections/skull-gifts/products/skull-sticker

I am looking for a heavy duty flooring material for a side entrance of my home that is really just used for storage and a lot of back and forth when we are bringing things in and out. I want it to look better than bare concrete and be more durable than residential vinyl or laminate. The material in the photos is from a local pet store that is about 8 years old and seems to hold up well. I figure if it holds up to all-day abuse from people, animals, shopping carts and occasional pallet jacks, it should hold up to my simple use. Anyone have any idea what this might be or where I can find something similar? Thanks!

Before I go any further with this I know I have done some pretty stupid things over the years and I never really believed in the paranormal until this incident happened.
So about when me and my best friend were in highschool (year 11 to be exact) I was staying over at her place for the weekend after I had finished my work shift, it was around this time my best friend had an art project that was due soonish and she didn't have any inspiration to help her create something original. Then she came up with the idea to do a freaky photo shoot to see if that would help inspire her to create something ( and I ended up being her muse you could say) and mind you she is very much into special effects and stuff as she is a make-up artist in the making. So by the time she was finished with the make up you could say I looked like a decaying and walking corpse.
We decided to take some photos out in her backyard and then go analysis the pictures some got her attention and some didn't, so then I cleaned myself up and then we tried again, but this time an elf like character. That's when I got the "brilliant"(not so brilliant ) idea that maybe we should got to the nearby lake since there was some awesome places there that would be perfect. Mind you it was already 11:30pm at night.
The first mistake we made was actually going through with that idea at 11:30pm at night which well it was pretty stupid to begin with since will all the bad things happening around our local area ( missing people/ animals, murders etc), that alone should have been a clear indication that we shouldn't be going.
That wasn't a thought to us in the slightest,
So when my best friend drives us there and parks in the big empty car park( which was another clear indicator that we really shouldn't be there), we just sat in her car for a good minutes just discussing how the photos should be taken.....then that's when I got a chill down my spine and the sensation that we were being watched from somewhere. That feeling never left and to this day I can't believe my stupid self had just blantanly ignored that altogether. I wasn't the only one ,my best friend also got the exact same feeling I did and then we proceeded to get out of her car and start taking photos like we discussed. She has fake realistic swords and other weapons so we were using those as props and Everything was going perfectly fine (besides feeling like we were being watched).
What happened next still makes my heart stop, because the place we were at had hiking and biking trails as well as being surrounded by a woodland area. What we heard whilst in the middle of taking some more photos was the sound between a strangled and drying animal mix with a high pitch human scream and when I tell it sounded way too close comfort, I mean it sounded to close for comfort. That sound lasted for a good solid minute (just one singular sound with no breath in-between it) then it stopped and went erriely quiet. Way too quiet.
Now looking back on it, there was no sound of insects making any noise when we got out of the car and there was very certainly none after that sound. Which only means that there was a predator or something of the sorts nearby. I thought I was just hearing things or thought it possibly was just a native animal of sorts.
At this point me and best friend were starting to freak out a little bit, because then we heard the sound of sticks on ground snapping in half to the right of us near one of the hiking trails (which wasn't too far from where we were not that long ago) We tried to not panic and finish the last of the photos.(That was dumb idiotic idea know, but at this point we have made a few.)
I think I was zoning out and focusing on what she wanted me to ( for example,like hold the sword in a swinging position like you were about to slay down beast) I sensed that my best friend had stopped giving instructions and looked to her to see that she was standing and looking terrified to say the least
(This was our conversation in that moment)
Me:"uh... You good??"
My best friend:" slowly come over to me, but whatever you do. Don't .look , behind you."
When she said those words I instinctively and very stupidly looked behind me. To see that standing about a good 10 metres or so from me was a tall stocky but lean black figure that wasn't quite human nor animal from the looks of it ,but at first I thought I was a kangaroo ( yes I forgot to mention we live in Australia) with the way it was carrying itself. A very big kangaroo in this instance.
I then wished that I hadn't looked and now looked back at my best friend and now realised we needed to leave immediately. Because whatever the hell that thing behind me was, definitely wasn't friendly at all.
But we couldn't just bolt off back to the car as that would definitely cause the thing to chase down and it definitely would catch up with no trouble at all, so we had to as calmly as possible,pick up our belongings and slowly go back to the car. But since I didn't know what hell we were dealing with I didn't want to keep my back it as that would have very very stupid and I wanted to make sure it was still there. Thankfully it was but as soon as we got to her car and quickly got in(making sure the doors were locked), I look out the windshield and saw that it was no longer there.
We quickly high tailed it out of there and once back on the road, I then looked in the side mirror on my side of her car and saw the figure standing motionless in the middle of road watching us leave. That we when me and my best friend finally could process what just happened.
Then just before we got to the main road again, there was an actual kangaroo standing in the middle of the road which freaked us out more( but we didn't have a car accident from it) and went the car horn was beeped the kangaroo went on its way and so did we.
Once her place we quickly got inside and locked the doors, shut any open windows and locked as well as closed the curtains.The rest of the night and early morning we could hear scratching and tapping on the windows which we ignored and decided to go to bed.
Needlessly to say always trust your gut feeling or you may not live long enough to tell the tail.

As an avid golfer and photographer here in New Zealand that has recently purchased a drone, I am wanting to offer my services to local courses around the country to help them with their business.
My local course has given me free reign to use the property essentially as a playground which is great, and I plan on putting together a portfolio before then pulling together a business plan and reaching out to golf clubs. I will focus on aerial photography, but obviously have the ability to take stills also if the club desires.
Other than still aerial shots of the holes, high-up full course aerials, flyover videos of each hole or the course, what would this business look like to you, and how would you suggest I package this up? Just open to ideas really...
I sent a message to someone I know of that works at a local golf course with a photo I took of that course last week, and they replied and immediately asked for pricing and stated that they 'definitely want some'. A great start, but where do I start!?
What will be a compelling and convincing business proposition to golf clubs to help them market their business and drive paying guests and revenue to their club?
Any assistance appreciated, thanks!
https://imgur.com/a/de2Pk0Q

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Physique

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Unofficial

Unofficial Check-in Rules:

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• The unofficial category is not tracked for challenge purposes by FitChallenge staff. We have decided to offer this category for those who have missed out on the official start week and would like to be part of the community and take advantage of the help/advice/motivation that we can give.

POSTING INSTRUCTIONS/INFORMATION

Weekly check-ins will be due by 11:59 pm Eastern on each Wednesday of the challenge. During each weekly check-in, challengers will be required to make a short text post giving us an idea of your progression. For example, you could answer these questions: What are your goals? Are you achieving them? How?
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Weight Loss/Week #/Male or Female/### lbs
(ex. Weight Loss/Week 8/Female/154 lbs.)
Physique/Week #/Male or Female
(ex. Physique/Week 8/Female)
Weight Loss/Unofficial/Male or Female/### lbs
(ex. Weight Loss/Unofficial/Female/154 lbs.)

As an avid golfer and photographer here in New Zealand that has recently purchased a drone, I am wanting to offer my services to local courses around the country to help them with their business.
My local course has given me free reign to use the property essentially as a playground which is great, and I plan on putting together a portfolio before then pulling together a business plan and reaching out to golf clubs. I will focus on aerial photography, but obviously have the ability to take stills also if the club desires.
Other than still aerial shots of the holes, high-up full course aerials, flyover videos of each hole or the course, what would this business look like to you, and how would you suggest I package this up? Just open to ideas really...
I sent a message to someone I know of that works at a local golf course with a photo I took of that course last week, and they replied and immediately asked for pricing and stated that they 'definitely want some'. A great start, but where do I start!?
What will be a compelling and convincing business proposition to golf clubs to help them market their business and drive paying guests and revenue to their club?
Any assistance appreciated, thanks!
https://imgur.com/a/de2Pk0Q

I Accepted a Job to Film on the Dark Web
Man, I am pumped to tell you chronically online content addicts my story. Wait is that too mean of an intro? Will this get taken down for harassment since I painted too accurate a picture of the people on this site? Sorry, everyone, I’m sure you all smell like an expensive bakery and have touched grass this morning. Anyway, I promise I have something interesting. It even involves the dark web you uncreative writers cream yourselves over! I mean, totally real people speaking about their strangely similar experiences. Okay, fine I’ll stop bullying you through the screen before you click off.
This all started when I was seven years old and my parents were killed in front of me in an anti-indigenous hate crime, but let's be real you don’t care. I’m just some annoying Cherokee kid with dead parents so I’ll skip to the good parts. I spent years in an orphanage, gradually becoming more interested in death and violence. As bad as it is, I went out of my way to expose myself to that content in the hopes of desensitizing myself. Which ended up working too well, since now I’m obsessed with causing and viewing pain, though I don’t find any joy in hurting myself.
I got adopted at twelve and after a few months of staying at my new family’s home on the reservation, I went with them to a state sweatier than the average Reddit user, California. Long story short, both of my caretakers, whom I referred to as Uncle and Auntie because they could never be my parents, died. Leaving me in the care of their older son, who I call cousin. I’m not stupid enough to give up any real names, so I’ll call him Brick, cause he’s as dumb as one. He was in his early 20s when he was tasked with taking care of me and is the world’s worst excuse for a babysitter.
I’m almost always alone at the apartment, with him only coming by to drop off supplies and stay for a few hours so the neighbors don’t get too worried. Unless I get in trouble at school, then he’d suddenly give a shit. It's useful because he doesn't about the gory stuff I look at, but some display of interest would be nice. Oh well, ninety percent of the population sucks so he’s just part of the majority. Now, with that said, you’ll be able to understand the perfect storm that led me here. During my time on the deep web, I found a particular website that caught my eye. They had new footage relatively consistently and they were the easiest for me to access since I didn't go too far into the dark web, especially with all the honey pots lying around.
I even bought a couple of files for myself to study and admire. One thing irritated me though, the cameraman. He was always sobbing, breathing, shaking, or some combination of those. It seriously killed the vibe of the killings. Something I commented on under many videos, often saying I would do a better job filming. A choice that in hindsight was me asking to end up in one of those recordings. I didn't think anything of it at the time. I was mostly the only one who commented but I was sure they wouldn't care. I was embarrassingly wrong.
I was staying up like usual, but it was past one AM on a school night, and back then that was a lot so I tried to sleep. Closing my eyes, tossing and turning, the works. I had just started drifting off when I heard the front door open. I remained calm but immediately found it weird since Brick never showed up this late. The thuds of the individual's feet grew louder as they got closer to my bedroom. I tried to convince myself it wasn't a stranger, especially since they got in with ease, but I knew that was wishful thinking.
They hummed as they opened my door. My dumbass had left it unlocked. I remained on my side, trying to look like I was asleep. They turned on the flashlight of their phone, shining it in my face. It was hard but I stayed still while they traced it over my features. I could tell they were smiling as they clicked their tongue.
“Heh, I knew it was a brat,” they whispered to themselves, pulling tangles out of my hair. Something I struggled not to groan from. They pulled up the hair over my ear and got so close spit got on my ear lobe.
“I know you’re awake kid,” they murmured, putting a blade to my neck. I let them grab my shoulder and move me onto my back, I knew how to fight but I wasn't about to take that big a risk with the position they had me in.
“You think you’re so cool saying you can do better than our guy.” they snickered, kneeling, their flashlight still shining in my face.
“Do you seriously believe that?” they questioned, moving the light away.
“Yeah, I do.” I stood my ground, they might have been intimidating but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from being honest.
“I wouldn't sound like I’m gonna piss myself every time it gets gory. I’m confident I could get better footage too, getting up close is something I’ve fantasized about.”
They clicked their tongue again and ran their finger over the bridge of my nose.
”Well, I know you’re a big fan of what we do, and you’re confidence makes me think you got something to back those claims up, so how’d you like a deal?”
I was surprised by how civil they were being aside from the touching and weapon against my throat.
“What kind of deal?” I asked, for all I knew this guy wanted me to lick their feet or some weird shit like that. They placed a finger underneath my eye, tracing a half moon with their nail.
“You have till this Friday to film a video of you killing an animal and put it on a flash drive that I’ll pick up here. If it impresses me and the crew we’ll hire ya with a handsome salary.” They began, moving their hand down to my cheek.
“But if you don't show, or it doesn't meet our standards, then I’m fucking up one of the parts of your face.” They warned, pinching my skin harshly.
“And if I say no to this deal?”
They put their hand over my mouth, scratching my lips.
“That’s cute, if you say no I’ll just slit your throat.” they grinned.
“Or rip it open with my teeth if you got a preference,” they smirked, before running their tongue across their sharp teeth.
“Okay, since I have no choice I’ll go with it, but I’m telling you now I can give you something way better than what you likely expect of me.” I prefaced, looking into their sunken eyes. They scratched my scalp, including the side of my head that was shaved.
“Good choice, I’ll be back to pick it up and if you're not here I’ll assume you don’t have the video. I genuinely wish you luck, because you’ll need it.” they removed the blade from my neck and walked away. I sat still for a few minutes in the dark, processing what had happened and wondering how they got into my apartment with such ease. I was confident I could blow their sniveling excuse of a cameraman out of the water, but I was worried about the people I was getting caught up with.
Sure, I had been on a lot of gore sites over the years but I was always just watching and occasionally commenting. Compared to most in the scene I wasn't much of a threat. I could defend myself and have contemplated killing for years but I hadn't murdered anyone or worse. Plus, I am part of way too many targeted groups to not be constantly at risk. Teenage, fem-leaning, two-spirit, indigenous kid with trauma? Yeah, I might as well be walking sign screaming “Hate crime me”.
So yeah, there was a lot to worry about. Regardless, I couldn't let that fear hold me back. I had a job to do and a group of sickos to appease. The next morning was rough, I got no sleep cause I’d spent all night brainstorming. I barely mustered the energy to change and drank straight mouthwash instead of brushing my teeth. Slogging onto the bus with drool on my cheek, I went to the back like usual. No one sat there cause, the seats were extra worn down, and I scared off anyone who attempted to with my active, rabies-infected bitch face. That day was different though.
I blanked on his name and where I knew him from, but I recognized his wavy hair and prominent curved nose. He glanced at each seat on the bus, before somehow settling on my area. He tried to give me space but ultimately seated himself beside me after realizing it was the only spot that didn't look like it would give him cancer. I glared at him as I did with everyone, but it didn't phase him.
“You know you could pick anywhere else right?” I murmured. He stared at the floor, then at me.
“I’m aware, but a few months ago I started a mission to sit on every part of this bus, and this is the last place.” he smiled, his lips softly curving at the sides.
“What’s the point of that?”
His mouth moved into a more neutral position, but his eyes kept smiling.
“I just thought it would be neat to see the same place from a bunch of different perspectives.” he took out his phone and snapped a photo from the point of view where he was sitting. Maybe my sleepiness made my bitch face less effective, cause he hadn't shown a hint of fear, which kind of annoyed me.
“That’s cool I guess, but I wouldn't do that if I were you. I’ve done some back here alone that would make your skin crawl.” in hindsight my attempt at unnerving him just made me sound like a pervert, which is probably why he held back laughter. Trying to hide a chuckle by clearing his throat.
“Hey, it's not my business what you do, no matter how Haram it is. It’s your life so that’s between you and whatever you believe in. Just don’t shake hands with me.” he joked, playfully putting his hands up. Strangely, I remembered his name at that moment.
“Oh shit, you’re Abdul! We have art together.” I sat up, haphazardly slamming my hand down on my leg.
“Uh yeah, I’ve seen some of your paintings, they’re pretty cool. I like the way you texture them, I’m trying to work on that.” he complimented, seeming more weirded out by my sudden energy than my accidental insinuation. I felt a little stupid for yelling his name but decided not to dwell on it.
“Thanks, you’re stuff is nice, and you’re good at shading.”
He stretched his arms while thanking me. We talked for a few more minutes, taking jabs at each other throughout. Turns out he was better at being an asshole than his artsy charismatic appearance made me think. The thing setting our insults apart being that you could tell he was a loving person underneath. It was the nicest conversation I had with anyone in a while. Though he could tell I was tired so he quieted down, letting me sleep, waking me when we got to school. We went our separate ways until the last two periods we shared. All that time, I spent my remaining energy plotting how I was going to handle the video. What I’d kill, record with, and how to dispose of the evidence. It was a lot to consider, but through three classes I devised a plan.
I’d find a stray around my apartment complex and take it out in my room. Record it on a portable camera since I broke the ones on my phone, no, I will not be answering how that happened. Then once I had my footage I’d put the body in a trash bag, throw it in the complex’s garbage, and clean the blood off my floor. It didn't seem like Brick would come by so he wasn't a factor I thought I’d have to consider. The plan was almost too easy, but I decided to believe in Occam’s razor. I got so lost in thought that by the time I reached Art, which was my second-to-last period, I didn't process that we were moving seats.
“She called your name,” Abdul reminded me. Our teacher placed us next to each other at our four-person table. The two girls sitting with us were already friends, so I didn't bother to say anything, but I was interested in talking to him more.
“So, what do you think of this assignment?” He shrugged, taking out his sketchbook.
“I’m not that good at drawing people, but the idea of combining two people’s faces into a portrait seems interesting. Any ideas on who you’ll pick?”
“Probably the members of the music duo Brain Tumor, they’re my favorite artists and they both look weird as hell.”
“Wow way to talk about your favorites, if that’s what you say about them I can‘t imagine what you have to say about me.” he joked, pulling up reference pictures.
“First, it’s not an insult, second I don’t have anything to say about you. Brain and Tumor have features and styles that make them stand out. Sure they’re ugly, but it just adds to their visual charm. Hot people are boring, there’s nothing to pick at.” I explained, unzipping my bag.
“Oh, so you’re saying you think I’m hot.”
His comment wasn’t serious but it kind of got to me.
“Shit, that’s not what I meant, I was trying to say you’re boring. All hot people are boring, but not all boring people are hot, okay?” I explained, flipping to a clean page.
“Alright, but if I’m so bland then why talk to me?”
I hesitated, contemplating how much of a dick I was gonna be.
“Because it means you probably need some spice in your life, which I can provide.”
He began sketching a head on his paper.
“I like spices, but I feel like you’re the kind of person to dump a cabinet’s worth onto me.”
I flicked my pencil over to his side of the desk, putting on a mocking grin.
“Aww, you scared I’m gonna get you into trouble?”
He picked up the pencil and started using it, putting his on my side.
“No, ‘cause I’m good at setting boundaries. I’m more concerned that you’ll get annoyed with how unafraid of you I am.”
I stared at him for a moment, I hadn't expected to hear that.
“Jeez, man you didn't have to read me like that.”
He shrugged, observing the red paint from past projects that lay on my pencil.
“It's not hard to figure out, just this morning you were trying to push me away on the bus. Lucky, or unlucky, for you I want you to have a friend and you seem like a fun person.”
“Wait are you saying I have no friends?” I squinted at him.
“Well, do you?”
I didn't answer.
“If your response is silence I suggest you take up my offer.”
I was stunned, to be honest. No one had offered to be my friend since 6th grade, and that didn't last long. Of course, I accepted it, but for the rest of the period, there was an awkwardness in my mind. As pathetic as it sounds I wasn't used to others genuinely enjoying my company like he did. Which was partly by design cause I get joy out of scaring people away, but still. I forgot how it felt to have conversations about normal things like art. He had such a nice smile too, usually when I see a grin I want to slap it off, but I liked his. His voice was also nice, it’s hard to describe what in particular but it was easy on the ears.
Okay, I’m starting to get off-topic. I’ll skip to the important part. Toward the end of class, he started talking about how he was interested in filmmaking and got a portable video camera as a gift at last year’s Eid. He didn't have it on him, but he showed me a picture.
“Heh, that’s funny, I bought the same one a month ago.” I pointed out.
“Yeah, it's a popular model, I’m still getting the hang of it though cause I’m so used to using my phone.”
“Well, maybe I could bring you over to my place or vice versa after school and I can help you out.” I suggested.
He smiled, putting his phone back in his pocket.
“I thought you said you’ve only had it for a month? You know I can always look up tutorials from trained professionals.” he reminded me with a notable smugness that I'd used with him before.
“Well those guys are stuffy and I’m a fast learner.”
He redirected his attention back to his page, picking his pencil up.
“Alright, I suggest we go somewhere public instead. You’re not exactly the kind of person I want to bring home to my parents right away. Plus they always need to meet my friends and their guardians before I hang out at their home.”
I gave an exaggerated sigh, stretching my back.
“Aw man, looks like we can’t get high in my murder pit during our first hangout.”
He didn't respond for a solid few seconds.
“Wait, you do know I'm joking right?”
He shrugged, the smile in his eyes appearing again.
“I mean, one of those things is a little less believable than the other.” he snickered, and I laughed with him.
We set up a time and a date, which is where I screwed myself. He ended up being busy with projects from his other classes and family which just left us with Friday, the same day I had to submit the video. Now, did I tell him I wouldn't be able to make it? No, of course not, because I decided to be stupid and even more overconfident. I said that I’d one hundred percent be able to hang out with him after school like I didn't have a mutilator who was going to drop by my place at an unknown time.
The rest of the day went over fine but that bad timing led me to feel like a dick later. When I got home I was able to write out my plan, even sketching a few specifics of what I’d do. It was more exciting than when I’d been brainstorming, but this is when the gravity of the situation began to set in. When I said I’d fantasized about killings I meant it. I mean my teddy with twenty-five stab wounds should say enough. Regardless this would be the first time real blood was on my hands.
It made me feel powerful, but a little afraid. I’ve heard stories of people thinking that it would be an awesome experience and then feeling like shit. I doubted I’d be one of those people but still. Plus, I didn't exactly trust the guy who gave me this job. There was a good chance that this whole situation was rigged and they’d kill me no matter how good the video was. Or worse turn me into the feds and expose my collection. Honestly, if that happened I’d probably eat a shot to avoid going to jail. Wait, can I say that on this platform? Okay to the mods, that was a joke, I want to live a long life. Ugh, I’m doing a terrible job of staying on track. The point is there was a lot up in the air despite it being a matter of life or death.
I knew I’d go through with it but it was still a lot less straightforward than it initially seemed. I wracked my brain to remember where most of the cats stayed and tried to come up with a good way to lure one without raising suspicion. This also proved harder than first thought because I didn't think to account for the cat man, an old guy who lived alone and fed all the cats in our dingy complex while also housing a few. Knowing how obsessive he was he’d probably notice if one of them disappeared. Then again not all the cats return consistently or at all. It makes more sense that he’d think one of them was run over rather than slaughtered. It was getting late again so I rested my head for a moment, a bad move cause I ended up falling asleep at my desk. Not even changing out of the clothes I’d worn before, I woke up late and barely caught the bus the next morning.
I went to my usual spot but Abdul had already taken it. He patted the area next to it, which he’d covered in a towel, a smart move knowing how nasty it was. People gave me a few dirty looks as normal, which I smiled at. I stretched, my mind slightly less out of it than the previous morning.
“Uh, you do realize that-”
“Yeah, I know I’m wearing the same clothes.”
Abdul looked me up and down, his eyes remaining soft, but with a mix of concern and judgment. He set his backpack down and took off his sweater handing it to me.
“Dude what are you-”
“Look I don't know what led to you not being able to change but I think you should at least have a fresh top.”
I was surprised he was offering me something to wear but I took it.
“Uh, thanks, I’ll change into it later.”
He nodded as I put it in my backpack.
“You know you didn't have to do that.” I reminded him.
“Well there’s a lot of stuff I don’t have to do, but I do it because I want to, and I wanted to help you out.”
He smiled, his face still warmer than an Arizona summer. I got a strange feeling in my chest at that moment, I still can’t tell if it was good or bad.
“Well, thanks, I'll give it back to you tomorrow.”
We talked a little more and he mentioned something that caught my attention.
“Have you heard about all the animals that have been turning up dead?”
My eyes widened with surprise.
“No, I haven't, when did you hear about that?”
He pulled on his long-sleeve shirt.
“My sister said her friend who works at a shelter noticed a bunch of animals were getting adopted by people around the same time, and since then gore videos with them have been showing up. She found out through her co-worker who was emailed it by some random creep.”
I covered my mouth and looked away to hide the smile growing on my face. He had just given me the perfect cover-up without knowing. Now if I killed an animal people had an entire violent ring to connect it to instead of me! I stayed quiet for a minute because I could tell he’d likely see through any phony sad sounds I made.
“Oh wow, that’s awful, do you think they’ll ever find out the people behind it?”
He sighed, running his hand through his wavy hair.
“I hope so, for now, all we can do is pray that no more animals get hurt.”
I couldn't contain my grin as he said that so sincerely like animals and people didn't die constantly and that taking down one group would somehow stop the issue.
“Is there some joke I don’t get?” he furrowed his brow.
“Uh, no, sorry I smile when nervous.”
His gaze softened again, and he didn't press further.
His bringing up the animal killings ended up being the exact push I needed to get my hands dirty. I’d spent the entire day before planning so it was time to put that plan into action. I stole some cat treats that the cat man had laid out and spread them around my apartment which was on the bottom floor. Waiting for one of them to take the bate outside my window was pretty boring but one of them came after a few minutes. A scraggly brown and black cat with a tuft of fur missing on one side of his head. It's messed up but I felt like a little less of an asshole for taking him in since he looked like he was already struggling. I scooped him up and he didn't attempt to fight back.
“Hey there buddy” I waved, feeding him some more food. His eyes had a lot of crust on them, it was kinda gross but I don’t have the right to say with how often I wash my jeans. After a minute or two he let me pet him. I knew making any kind of attachment was bad but I thought it was the right thing to do so he’d fall into a sense of security. I was just about to take him into my room when the door opened.
“Hey, I’m back with groceries!” my shithead cousin announced with two plastic bags in his hands. He looked down to see me with the cat, his eyebrows raising.
“Aw come on, you know we can’t afford a pet.”
He groaned placing the bags on a table and unloading them.
“I know, but he doesn't look like he’s got a lot of life in him I at least want to help him feel better before he kicks the bucket!”
Brick rolled his eyes, putting the cereal box on top of the fridge
“Jeez, did you even think about what diseases he might have? His eyes look puffy what if he has something that can get you sick?”
He had valid concerns which was surprising since he’s usually stupid, but I was still annoyed with him.
“I’m sure he’s fine, I’ll even try to wash him, just please let me hold onto him for a little.”
He folded his arms looking down at us.
“Have you even named him?”
I froze for a second, before using the first thing that came to mind, which ended up being pretty awful knowing my plans.
“Cash cow.” I blurted, awkwardly patting his head.
“Honestly that’s better than what I was expecting. I was sure you’d pick ‘Hellspawn Mcgee’ or something else corny.”
He meant to make fun of me but honestly, I would have named him that if I had more time.
“Ugh, anyway I got those dumb chips you like.”
He then pulled out a bag of the wrong chips.
“Dude those are the wrong ones, this is the third time you’ve mixed up the flavors.”
He threw them at me, scaring the cat slightly.
“Well, I pay for it so you shouldn't be so picky. Anyway, while I was in line I picked up something you might be into.”
He then tossed me a trashy teen magazine. One of my least favorite sorry excuses for an influencer on the cover.
“This is a joke, right?”
I couldn't believe my own adopted brother gave such little shit in my interests.
“I don't know, you decided to start being a girl for real this time so I thought the makeup tips on page ten would help you out.”
I scrunched my face at his comment.
“Dude I’ve been this way for years, just because I started wearing more makeup and dresses doesn't mean I’m more of a girl than when I didn't. I know you won’t get the two-spirit thing but come on.”
He shrugged, seeing me done with me even though he’d just shown up.
“Yeah well hey I’m trying. Anyway, just so you know a friend of mine is coming here Friday.”
My heart stopped.
“Wait why here? You live elsewhere why can’t you assholes go there or their place!”
He slammed his fist on the table.
“Will you shut the fuck up!”
He screamed with a phrase I’d grown numb to.
“I don't know, to be honest, something about wanting to move into this complex and this being a way to scout it out. I’m just letting you know now so you don’t act like a complete freak.”
“Jokes on you I’ll piss in whatever shitty beer you bring just cause you said that!”
I yelled back raising my voice higher than his. He face-palmed before putting the plastic bags in the drawer under the sink.
“Whatever, you and your ketamine-addict-looking cat have fun,” he told me while seating himself on the couch. I picked up the cat and walked into the bathroom to clean it. I closed the door and placed him in the dry tub. Using a small disposable mouthwash cup I got a little bit of water. I hadn't had a pet before so I wasn't sure how to approach the task. I dipped my fingers in the water and carefully pet it while pouring s small bit down his back. Any other cat would fight back but he just made pissed-off noises without doing anything.
I scrapped my old shampoo bottle and kneaded it into his thin fur. His skin was bumpy and dry beneath the hair so scrubbing it was uncomfortable. I made sure to avoid getting soap in its eyes but I did pull away some of the crust on its lids. His pupils were so clouded I was surprised that he could see at all, making me feel even more sure that he would be on its way out with or without me.
After drying him I set him on a beat-up shirt I wore when modifying clothes. He sunk his claws into it a few times, playing with a loose string. I ignored him for the rest of the night, hopping into the shower and changing for bed. His meows woke me up a few times but I tuned it out after a while, reminding myself that he wouldn’t be my cat for long.
The next day was Thursday and there wasn't a second that passed by where the weight of the murder I’d have to commit didn't weigh on me. I seriously shot myself in the foot by taking care of that scruffy, pubic hair pile. I was supposed to be hyped about killing it, after all, I’d dreamed and seen way worse than what I was going to do. Yet once I got home and started setting up I felt grosser with each step. I decided to record it in my bathroom instead of my bedroom so it would be harder to connect to me. I set down a few fabric scraps and a worn-out beach towel, placing it all inside a tub for easier cleanup later.
“Okay, I guess it's time,” I mumbled to myself. I brought the cat in and placed it down, setting up my camera once it was comfortable. I also wore my most generic clothes in addition to a mask, putting my hair in a bun for sanitation. When I saw the flicker of red showing that the camera was on I felt I was dreaming. I smiled, excited that I’d get to live out my violent desires. Yet, when I looked down at its pathetic frame and confused expression those urges left me.
I rationalized what I was doing, reminding myself how many animals die all the time and that I’d been forced into this, but it didn't help much in the end. I won’t get into it but under the pressure of impressing the group Cash Cow didn't go out as fast as I would have liked for a first task. Getting rid of the evidence was especially rough, the textures were pretty nasty, to put it mildly. It was surreal watching the blood go down the tub drain and gradually drip off my hands as I rinsed them. I couldn't conjure a single thought the entire time I cleaned it up.
Whether I was wringing out the clothes or putting the remains in plastic bags, it didn't matter. All I could focus on was the task at hand, with hints of disgust along the way. I ended up finishing at three AM. My hands were wrinkled and shook once I settled. I won’t deny that during the murder I didn't hate it. Slashing into something was fun and it made me feel strong. Still, it wasn't nearly as fulfilling as I expected it to be. Part of it was guilt, but it was mostly disappointment. I’d built it up for years and it wasn't earth shatteringly good or bad.
Overall, I expected to feel more, but it just left me hollow with an uncomfortable itch. There was no way I’d ever be able to see the tub the same way, hell I don’t think I’ll ever use it again. Luckily I almost always shower anyway so it's not too big of a deal. I watched a few horror game videos, trashed everything, changed and went to bed.
My scalp hurt like a bitch the morning since I kept my hair in that stupid bun. Despite getting less sleep than the past two days I held myself together a bit better in the morning. I brushed my teeth, changed, and had some fried bread before getting on the bus. Regardless I looked like complete shit and struggled to slump into my seat.
“Rough night?” Abdul asked
“Uh, yeah.” I quietly responded looking to the floor.
He frowned, looking at me with concern.
“You can talk about it if you're comfortable,” he assured me. I contemplated giving him a thinly veiled metaphor or vague explanation so he'd comfort me but stopped myself before my mouth could run a muck. He wouldn't be able to do much of anything and I don’t like opening up.
“Uhm, thanks but it's something I have to deal with alone.”
He nodded, respecting my boundaries.
“You know, I understand if you can’t hang out today it seems like you have a lot going on.”
I avoided eye contact with him as he spoke. For once I was feeling hints of guilt toward a person. I wanted to spend time with him, but I knew that I wasn't in the state to do that.
“Yeah, I think it’ll have to wait, I’m-” I cut myself off before apologizing. A fact about me that should surprise no one is that I hate apologizing. Even when I do feel kinda bad the act fills me with embarrassment.
“You what?” he asked, his eyes telling me that he knew what I was going to say.
“I’m emotionally not great.” I spat out in an admittedly poor attempt to get out of saying sorry. As always he remained calm but I could tell he saw through me.
“Okay, like I said I understand, whatever it is I hope you feel better.”
I told him thank you and we didn't speak for the rest of the day. At home I changed into more comfortable clothes and brushed my teeth. Unfortunately, I wasn't bouncing back from killing nearly as much as I expected.
“It wasn't even that bad! That thing was on its last legs anyway.” I grumbled to myself, smacking my forehead. I was feeling worse than when I did it which is weird. I ended up spontaneously decorating a ratty tie from the bottom of an accessory drawer to distract myself. It helped me get my mind off things, for a little. I had zero plan, just wanting to make something needlessly complex. Hours that felt like minutes passed and soon it was covered in patches, frills, and beads. I just tried it on when I heard the front door open.
“Man, that shit was wild!” I heard Brick laugh groggily. I didn't have to see or smell him to know he’d gotten lit. I rolled my eyes, closing my bedroom door.
“Hey, who’s there?” his friend asked, seemingly referring to me.
“Oh, that’s my little sis, don’t mind her she’s just on her emo shit!” he joked, which pissed me off for the petty reason that I didn't even listen or dress emo.
“Hey, that’s alright with me, I went through one of those phases,” they responded, their words less slurred than my cousin’s.
I fucked up and forgot to lock it when I closed it so they were able to swing it open, almost smacking my desk.
“Hey emo girl!” they waved as Brick haphazardly pulled them back.
“Okay, man, seriously I think she wants to be left alone.”
The way his friend looked at me made me uncomfortable. Like they’d snap my neck if I pissed them off. They clicked their tongue while stepping through the door frame.
“Alright, but I gotta say calling her an emo is inaccurate, they look like they watch gore and most emos just say they do.” they flashed a sharp toothy grin. At that moment I began to connect the dots.
“Easy, she’ll get pissy with you dude, now come on.” Brick warned tugging their opened button pushed him away. They looked me dead in the eyes.
“I don’t think she minds, in truth, I feel like we’ll have a lot to discuss later.” they smiled again, finally walking back into the living room. A chill ran up my spine when I saw them. The sharp teeth, New York accent, unsettling gaze, that motherfucker was the person who recruited me! They were able to get into my place so easily cause my dumbass cousin probably gave them a spare key or the opportunity to make one, and now they were a room away from me!
I dug my hands into my pillow as I contemplated what to do, no matter what happened next, I knew it was gonna be a rough visit.

So I (23f) have a half brother whose in his mid to late 30s. I also have two older brothers 25 and 26. We don't have a relationship with our half brother, dad's child from his first wife. Dad was widowered and my mom came into their lives 3.5 years after half brother's mom died. Half brother never liked my mom and according to my brothers he was always super clear that mom would never mean anything to him and he used to say some pretty nasty shit to mom which dad would never take well and that their earliest memories are of a lot of chaos and fights. I don't really remember living with him or seeing him. But what I do remember of him wasn't pleasant and I knew he didn't want us (me and brothers) for siblings.
My family (extended and parents) always said he'd grow up and regret treating mom like shit. That he'd be a stepparent himself in the future or becoming a parent would teach him. Why they were so certain he'd want to marry and have kids I have no idea but they were always positive he would end up a stepparent and would end up with bio kids as well. My brothers and I always just accepted that we were a three person sibling set, not a four person sibling set. We never expected a relationship with him or his family.
I guess some of the extended family know he's married now and has three kids and isn't a stepparent. It annoyed some of them so much because they really felt he needed to become a stepparent but mom was really heartbroken that he could become a dad and settle down as a husband and father and still hate her so much to want nothing to do with heus. My dad's really weird around old family photos now and especially the photos of him and his first wife with half brother that they have in their living room.
My brothers and I stayed with our parents for a few nights last week and when extended family came over half brother became a topic of conversation and again it was about him being married with kids and how bothered they are that he didn't come around because of that and again with the disappointment that he wasn't taught a lesson by becoming a stepdad. I told them they need to get over what's going on in his life because we're not a part of it and everyone needs to accept it. I also said talking like assholes by wishing him to be miserable and have a hard life doesn't make them look so great. My brother's agreed with me and so did mom. But everyone else, even dad, was kind of like, we have every right to be disappointed by how things worked out. And I'm taking stuff out of context.
AITA?