My husband and I started dating during Covid. We are both gamers, and had met through my brother who is a long time friend of his. They met once before.
My attraction was his voice, his personality and eventually finding out he was very handsome didn’t hurt either. We connected right away and fell in love. A year and a bit of disappointment, the border finally opened and we met in person.
The chemistry has been undeniably strong. He fell hard and so did I. I began to get excited at the idea of marrying him. Starting a life together. The works!
I visited him afterwards and met his family. He lives at home as he’s saving money and helps his mom a lot around the house and overall. She’s older (65+) and needs help a lot. She’s energetic and light hearted but also has a wicked streak.
I never anticipated this. When I met she was super sweet. It was his sister that gave me a hard time at first, which was difficult but I persevered regardless. His mother started as supportive, but as soon as I started discussing future plans, everything began to change.
Suddenly I was rushing things, my husband, life , etc. I was 25 when we dated and he was 23. We were younger but not THAT young. We both eagerly discussed marriage since week 2 of dating. We dated a year and a bit when I first met his family.
Every conversation with his sister or mom during the first year or two of dating revolved around my lack of education. They’re a degree family (teachers at a elementary school and pre-K) and looked down on me because I didn’t have one, so I decided to open up about my trauma and childhood to help them understand why I’m where I’m at in life, and that it’s actually way better than I could ever imagine.
I have my own place. I make good money at a corporate job I’ve been at for several years, and I travel frequently. I have a full life of friends and family of my own. I don’t talk to my mom because she was physically abusive until I was 17 and worse. His mom knows this.
I explained that we need a marriage based visa approval before I can legally move to his country (USA) from mine (Canada). Student visa is pricey and not ideal for future plans. I went through the process and it all over 20 times in length. Trying to get everyone to understand it was the best option to get married. They fought it HARD. I cried so much, so many times.
I had no idea why they were soiling on our goals and on me. My husband was so excited to get married, he knew what we needed to do. They actively tried to convince him not to do it but then helped him plan my engagement decorations and cake. His sister was annoyed by this, since it was hard to watch her younger brother grow up and as her own marriage was rocky at the time.
After we got married his mom started making comments only to me about how we have to “wait and see how it all goes after a year” implying we wouldn’t last that long. She constantly says stuff like this. Especially when we’re alone in the kitchen having what I thought was an open conversation.
She’s accused me of marrying him for a green card, of trying to rush our marriage to have babies, and trap him.
I have explained countless times my plan and our plan to wait for kids. Yes I’m older than him but we have goals before kids come that we want to achieve. Pair her general comments with her mean remarks whenever we mention future kids, and I just see someone trying to tear me down.
The worst thing she said is that she thinks if I got pregnant and my relationship with him fails, that I’ll “take the baby to Canada”. And that if things don’t work out before kids, I’ll be alone out here. Yeah.
Despite all this, I have always helped her and been nice. Even too nice.
Today was the straw that broke my camels proverbial back. I had helped her while she was really sick with what we found out to be COVID, for 2 weeks while I am visiting my husband before we fly away for our 1 year Anniversary trip. I made her home made soup, I cleaned her house, I checked on her. I made a custom recipe book for my Mother’s Day gift to her. I got her whole family to sign it after.
We haven’t celebrated due to her being sick. We were supposed today. My husband and I came back from a day out and she starts ranting about our sex life to him, and I am overhearing this from his room. She was talking about it in the open dining room randomly.
I had a private talk with her when she was at the end of her sickness, as my husband and I had some tense talks and I wanted to get insight. I had mentioned in passing that my iud strings were cut during a precancer cell removal surgery. That I was being careful but still worry for us sometimes, but that I’m taking precautions.
She didn’t say much besides “ oh that’s good! I’m glad to hear that”. Then she brings it up today, 4 days later. In front of my husband who in already discussed this with. She’s lying and saying I sounded unsure and scared, that we’re being careless and that she’s praying we don’t get pregnant. She tells him he should take mint pills, get a temporary vasectomy, and that I should get checked / scanned. That she doesn’t know if we’re compatible if we have tense talks lately and we may find out after living together FT. She said she wishes she could twist his balls, that she had a nightmare I got pregnant and “someone got hurt” but didn’t elaborate so as not to “call it into existence “ We’re just standing there stunned. She plays it off like she cares, but she’s just being so negative.
I levelled with her, assuring her I would take precautions once again. That her concern is real. Well shortly after we went to his room feeling good about hearing her out while talking. But then I hear his mom gossiping to his older sister. She barely looked at me after when I walked in. She was noticeably cold to me.
His mom was syrupy sweet to me. Saying we (her son and i) should go on a walk to enjoy the sunnny day! I cried the whole time asking him why she’s so mean, why she can’t trust us to be adults.
I cried so hard I skipped lunch and dinner, I had an anxiety attack. I couldn’t breathe, I’m disbelief at what I saw and heard today. It’s like nothing I did in the past 4 years and 1 year of marriage almost, mattered to her or made any impact.
My husband went up and talked to her, for a long time. He came down and spoke on her behalf, detailing how concerned she was for me and my health “stuff” and that it holds heavy on her heart. She doesn’t want us to go through worse (baby is worse?) and wanted to get her point across. That she loves me and accepts me as her own.
Well after I stopped sobbing, I texted her saying I was sorry for today and why stress I caused her with my words.
She texts back giving me shit for not “coming to her directly” as she felt it was important i hear what she said to her son too. That if she didn’t care she wouldn’t bring it up to us. That we will figure it out as we’re adults. Night night with heart emoji.
I texted back a big paragraph (like this post) reminding her that she wasn’t direct with me as she was talking to my husband about making sure I was on birth control, insinuating I’m lying about my IUD being effective. If I didn’t walk in the chat never would have happened. That she can’t expect me to come upstairs and hash it out if I’m so upset I can’t stop crying. That it’s unfair to put that on me after i was the bigger person and apologized to her tonight. She never said sorry to me directly.
My poor husband is in the middle, especially as he’s the youngest (27). I told him it’s time to move out and detach from the emotionally toxic relationship with his mom. He agrees.
He’s tried to leave a few times but she guilts him into staying. Today was the first day he saw her true colours towards me, he hated it!
Any support is appreciated and advice is valued!
TLDR; MIL chastised us about our private issues like sex

Hello, I plan on starting dental school this August but have recently been diagnosed with essential tremors that effect both of my hands. I have worked really hard to get to where I am but I’m worried that these tremors will seriously impact my ability to practice dentistry. I was hoping to hear if anyone knows of dentists with ET who are doing alright or if anyone developed it further into their career and had to retire early as a result. Thanks!

I’m curious as to what everyone’s opinions are of how every character in the marauders era life would have panned out if there wasn’t the backdrop of a war brewing. Like what do you think job wise they would have done and why? Who would get married and when/why? If they would have kids/how many/earlier or later? What couples would or wouldn’t exist? What friendships would last and what wouldn’t?
Like be as fantastical or as unpopular as you want with your opinions please 🙏 here’s a few of mine:

1. Molly and Arthur would not have married as quickly due to no sense of urgency from the impending war. This meant Molly could pursue a possible career after school and she chooses to follow her brothers into becoming a auror. Due to her training they delay on kids until a little later and this delay results in them not having Bill, Charlie or Percy. Upon finding out they are having twins straight off the bat, Molly becomes a housewife at that point for the time being but they have a better reputation in society due to her work as auror and they are slightly better off financially due to having dual incomes. Molly continues to have Ron and then Ginny and upon having a girl decides she is done with kids at 4. This results in their kids being better off with less insecurities. They still have a big sense of family as a family of 6 and with Molly’s brothers being alive with their own kids nearby, life at the Weasley’s is never not busy and full of love.
   
2. Due to the lack of impending war times during the Marauders’s schooling, there is less inter house tension based on politics. Lily and Severus have less arguments over his choice in friends though Lily still finds them slightly distasteful and due to him never using the slur at her, their friendship survives the course of all their years at Hogwarts. Due to this, despite Lily’s attraction to James she never acts on it in seventh year out of a sense of loyalty to Severus. James doesn’t grow up rapidly in seventh year like he does in canon and his growth is slower as he becomes an adult outside of Hogwarts. Once all of them are out of Hogwarts, the marauders don’t bump into Severus or Lily much due to vastly different life directions.
   

I personally don’t believe Lily and Severus would have stayed too close as friends as they got older as I think they continue to grow into different people but maybe they trialed out dating each other and it failed miserably. Or maybe Lily does choose to date James in seventh year and that fractures their friendship instead of the mudblood slur. I also don’t think James and Lily would have married and had Harry in such a quick timeline if there wasn’t a war.
Careers wise:
I actually see Severus as pursuing being a curse breaker honestly. And I don’t see it enough in fanfics. I think young Severus would have been enamoured by the fantasy of going away from his home and Hogwarts after all that bullying and finding a place he belonged abroad that holds a lot of prestige in society and the idea of it being considered a cool job would have excited him as well as the practical application of his knowledge in dark arts and defence. And I can kinda see Snape getting along with goblins tbh ahaha and wearing dragon hide boots looking snazzy in a few years into working. His knowledge of breaking curses would eventually lead to some discoveries in healing that are practiced in places such as St Mungo’s.
James Potter totally in a world without Voldy would have become a Chaser for a Quidditch Team. (Hell he wasn’t even a auror in canon) And he would have had some fun years as a bachelor being irresponsible before deflating his head a bit and wanting a wife and kids. After a solid track as a chaser for 8 or so years, he’d retire and work in the same department as Ludo Bagman.
I’m not too sure what I think Sirius would do as tbh he never had a chance in canon to show his interests beyond James and Harry. I know he’d have a massive bachelor pad though. And possibly a few illegitimate children scattered around from brief affairs.
Remus would spend a few years between jobs and getting support from James like he did in canon before being offered at 24 the defence job at Hogwarts by Dumbledore upon the retirement of the last professor. He’d then perform that job well for many years and be beloved by his students before eventually being outed as a werewolf but due to his positive impact on students for so many years he has changed how many of the younger generation view and treat werewolves. Due to him being a teacher whilst Tonks is at school, he never sees her as a romantic interest despite her high school crush on him.
Peter idk some low ranking ministry job.
Lily is an anomaly to me. I’m never too sure where I sit with her in terms of what I think she’d be like or what she’d do in different circumstances. But I’d love to hear what people think. I know it’s common for people to assume she would be a healer or auror. But I don’t see her as a auror esp in a work without Voldemort. Healer I can kind of see what I feel it’s a stereotype of a basic kind female character. But she is known to be good at charms and potions so it could suit. I do think she would get married and have quite a few kids though also.

My (22f) fiancé (24m) refuses to get a job because of his anxiety. Is there anything I can do or should I just accept it?
We have a 16 month old and we cannot retire with what I make. I want my kiddo to have a good life and that means two working parents that can attribute to her future.
I told him he has no choice but if he cant figure it out himself he needs to see someone. He hasnt worked one day since I was 6 months pregnant and i have fully supported and been by his side since then .
I told him I will not be able to retire making 50k at the peak of my carreer. He said he doesnt need a retirement account. I explained how everyone needs one.
I also am wanting to go into a program and its 3 yrs. I told him if he works the 3 yrs Im in school then he doesnt need to work another day in his life. Still refuses. I will be making 100k+ a year to start right out of school
Im tired of trying to help someone that wont help themselves. AITAH
Edit: spacing paragraphs out

I’d like to decorate cakes and cookies, or maybe be a teaching assistant in a primary school
Edit: if money weren’t an issue* (I just woke up sorry)

Hey everyone. I’m not the best with money so be nice lol. Just need some advice.
I’m 23. I went through a lot these last few years and made some shitty financial decisions. For example I bought a car 3 years ago and now I’m way upside down in the loan. I owe 18k and the car is worth 10k.
I have 3k in credit card debt and 1.5k in very high interest personal loans. I also have 20k in student loans. My credit score tanked last year. I was stuck for a long time in a serving job and now I owe almost 2k on my taxes. I literally made 35k last year and now I make around 42k.
Things are improving but I’m falling behind on the credit card payments and I’m struggling every month to make ends meet. I am going for a promotion at my job which should bring in a few more dollars an hour. I also got my last semester of college fully funded through my work, so no more student loans. The plan is to be in a salaried position at my company by the end December (65k), and I have several people working closely with me to make sure it happens but obviously there’s no guarantee.
My question is do I take out a portion of my old 401k (it’s been sitting in an account from my job two years ago) so I can survive until things get better. I have 7k in the account. I just recently started contributing to a 401k through my new job. I’m thinking of taking out half and rolling over the other half. With half of the account I can pay the 2000 I owe on my taxes, sit some of the money in a high yield savings (I have no emergency fund rn), and put the rest toward my credit cards to reduce the amount of bills I have to pay every month. Otherwise I’ll keep living by my same budget and trying to cut costs wherever possible.
I know this is a huge, huge, huge no no in personal finance, and I’m losing myself hundreds of thousands of dollars in a few decades. My hope is that by finishing school and making a more comfortable wage I can contribute a higher percentage to my retirement accounts soon, and pay myself back some of what I took out. I wouldn’t be considering it but I feel like I have no other way to come up with the 2k for my taxes.
Any advice is more than appreciated!

Cw: this post talks about politics. if you’re here to argue about politics please don’t waste my time or yours lol
I am a single woman in my early 30s, and I have been in my “flop era” for a while now. My 20s were full of many life experiences, some great and some humbling, living in a couple major cities and working corporate jobs. But the one life experience I still haven’t managed to have is being IN LOVE. I’ve used the dating apps for years, and went on a least 100 first dates in my 20s, but I never managed to find a relationship; I’ve never had success meeting guys I really click with. I am upbeat and genuinely inquisitive/interested on dates and yet I never feel like the guy returns the same energy to me. I never feel like they get me, even if they ask me on a third or fourth date. I have not had a hard time finding sexual partners but I want a loving, committed relationship. Why is finding someone that I enjoy spending time with IMPOSSIBLE?
So cut to now: due to some unfortunate events, I moved back home with my parents and am dealing with mental & physical health challenges; after being fully unemployed for a year, I started working a retail job a few months ago in the suburbs where I grew up. I miss my city life, I miss having a job in my field, I’m always worried that my friends think I’m a loser. But at the very least, I enjoy the retail job a lot more than I thought I would and I’m friendly with many of my coworkers. We all come from a wide range of backgrounds: some finished high school and did not go to college, some are current students, some have degrees but aren’t working in our desired career field, some are semi-retired etc. I have hung out with a few of my coworkers outside of work a couple times now and it’s been fun.
One of my coworkers, Tim (mid-20sM), is five years younger than me (early-30sF). He and I became friendly working the same early morning shift several times a week over the last few months. He is planning on quitting our job after the summer to become a cop. He took the first portion of the police academy exam and has to take the second portion in the next few months. We have never discussed politics but I can confirm that he is a registered Republican. For the sake of our workplace friendship, I was planning on never ever bringing this up; but he recently confessed that he really likes me and asked me out.
The problem is that I am a politically engaged person and have lefty politics. This will not change. I wanted Bernie to be president. I hate the Republican party. I do not hate cops and I understand their jobs are dangerous, but I could never be a blue lives matter girlfriend. What makes me sad is that I do enjoy talking to him and he seems like a kind person. He seems to me to be empathetic and sensitive, and he took my gentle rejection well. But I can’t tell him the real reason I turned him down is that we have fundamentally different views of our country’s issues and maybe very different values! (I’ve been told his family is religious and conservative, but I do not know where he stands).
My question to those of you who have left-of-center political/social views, would you ever give someone a chance who’s on the other end of the political spectrum? Would you be honest and tell them it’s a dealbreaker for you? Is there any hope I could slowly influence his politics if he gets to know me better? Did I do the right thing by turning him down (and blaming it on my mental health instead of anything about him)? Is there a tactful way to find out which issues drive his political leanings/ask him about any of his opinions?
My other work friend just revealed to me that Tim has been coming to her for advice ABOUT ME for weeks now :( (female work friend did not know about my political views either, but she’s more aligned with me than with him)
I typically agree with the line of thinking that you cannot ask someone you’re dating to change themselves for YOU. I’m just wondering if maybe he’s not as conservative as his parents and maybe his own views have changed since 2020…! But without any further info, this is merely wishful thinking. He has not lived anywhere outside of our suburban area and he has spent most of his adulthood thus far living with his family.
Also, my own parents are Republicans. We get along because they’re not too extreme but it’s still a source of conflict for us. I don’t have it in me to argue with a significant other about politics for the rest of my one life on earth
Yes I have been to/believe in therapy lol

I have always lived my life with a strategic mindset, naturally as someone who was physically slower than others I had to know where to be & when. Thus being on time isn’t a habit of mine, although I’m extremely organized & plan my life meticulously. When I was 18 I dropped out of school to pursue business & rose to be the right hand for the company I work for. I have always described myself as feeling like Darth Vader kneeling before the Emperor ready to do his bidding when I’m with my boss. Thinking of it that way always made me feel badass, & I thought I was cool. I’m not, I’m a fucking joke at 24 years old. I now describe myself as Sheddar from the 87 TMMT & my boss is Krang. The only difference is that my boss is a brainless body not a bodyless brain. Everything I’ve done, has been in attempt to overthrow the power & become the one in charge while helping my boss into retirement. This way I can move up the social ranks in life. What saddens me is I feel I’ve grown intolerable to myself & others. I know those around me only gage conversations for either a reaction & entertainment or for business. I’ve noticed this in my family & friends too, I’m unable to socialize with people & women are afraid of me. I have accepted the fact that I’m a shitty person & I know people would dispute that since I’m capable of & do the right thing, but there is a big difference. To me good people are desired for their company, thoughts, & skills; I don’t have that, the only time my skills are desired are during business hours & I have failed to & can’t understand how to build relationships outside that anymore. I’m a fat ugly piece of shit who’s frustrated with himself for letting 24 years pass with nothing to show for, be proud of or fall back on. I don’t want to die a lonely virgin because I don’t know how to communicate properly & need time to myself to process things emotionally. The industry my company is in, is collapsing; I’ve already enrolled in school for the fall, but I just don’t see this going well anymore. I’m no longer confident in myself, I used to be an arrogant prick & now lay in the bed I made.
As Yabushige from the latest Shogun put it “My dead body
Don’t burn it, don’t burry it, just leave it in the field
& with it, fill the belly of some hungry dog”

I’ve been in a relationship for over two years with my current boyfriend and I’m happy but there’s always this part in the back of my heart that feels like this relationship isn’t mentally or physically satisfying me. for the past two years I’ve poured my everything into this relationship. I’ve always gone above and beyond for my boyfriend, whether it came to birthdays, anniversaries, him graduating school, and even small achievements. If we go on a date, I’m the one planning everything in the one making the plans. I take care of absolutely everything and I never feel appreciated or thought of.
On my birthday last year, he had absolutely nothing planned. he gave me a gift which was a kind gesture, but he didn’t have anything planned for the day. no reservations no movie tickets booked, nothing. When I asked him where we were going he just said “oh idk how to plan for these kinds of things you figure it out” because he never reserved anything and it was so last minute we ended up having to go to a chain restaurant that closed in an hour. for my birthday this year, he bought me perfume. which he didn’t even pick out himself. he just decided to meet me at the mall and have me pick it out and left after buying me it. he had a migraine and couldn’t take me out to celebrate but promised he would take me out another time. we never did end up going out and I didn’t end up celebrating with him.
now, for the last two years I’ve gone above and beyond for his birthday. I would reserve places months in advance and plan the entire day for him so he could feel appreciated. last year for his birthday, I bought him a bunch of stuff he uses or has been wanting, we went out for dinner and spent the night together and I even surprised him with a cake. the year before that I took him out for dinner and had a hotel decorated for him. but I in return have never received any gesture like this. I’ve communicated with him about how I always feel like he never plans or does anything nice for me and he says he just doesn’t know these things like I do. I’ve stopped asking for so much from him because I’ve just become so emotionally exhausted that I’d rather keep my mouth closed than have to deal with his excuses. I just want to feel appreciated, I want to feel like I’m being thought of, and I wanna feel like I’m deserving of the love I give out. I don’t know what to do or how to approach the relationship at this point. I love him but it’s so hard maintaining a relationship that feels like you’re giving out 90% and they’re only giving 10%.

As the school year winds down, I just wanted to take a moment to reflect on some of the teachers that inspired me throughout my years as an Edmonton student.
Annuciation Kindergarten: Mrs. Huot. Those Easybake oven cakes were the best.
Grade 5: Mrs. Gruniger: She gave us "brainfood" aka candy when she felt like we needed a boost. Encouraged me to read for fun.
Westlawn Jr. High: Mr. McDonald, Mr. Jeffries, Ms.Quelch: first two were LA teachers who encouraged me to get more into creative writing. Last one was a PE teacher who just always stood out as someone who loved her job and the kids she taught.
St. FX High school: Mr. Wiznura made math make sense. Ms. Grover was another PE teacher who really put her all into what she did. Ms. Reducka (guidance counselor) called my mom when she caught me with a copy of the Satanic Bible (I was curious lol).
I appreciate all of these people who played a part in making me who I am.
Who stands out for you?

My adult son can't find a job. I make sure to select look for a job, but it's been 3 days and he is still not working anywhere. It showed his job to be retired. I tried to turn him into a farm helper for 1 day, then switched it back but nothing help. He went to school when he was a kid, while my daughter was a farm helper and she had no problems when switching to look for a job, so I dont know if this is the problem. What do I need to do now to get my son a job????

I am from a third world country, and my family is totally messed up. My parents are extremely poor, dysfunctional, emotionally unstable, toxic, manipulative liars, and we have been suffering from financial hardship since I was born. One thing I don’t understand is why my parents decided to have children when they were already struggling with poverty. Why did they get married and start a family if they couldn't afford it? They take out their daily frustrations on us, and as a result, I am suffering both psychologically and socially due to their neglect and lack of awareness.
I'm dealing with major depressive disorder and anxiety disorder, which affects my day-to-day life and can't afford any treatment. My parents are the root cause of many problems in my life, whether it’s in school, social situations, or other aspects. It feels like they had children just to ensure someone would take care of them in their old age. They are extremely selfish and don't care about their kids, only their retirement plans.
Over the last two weeks, I’ve been thinking about confronting my parents. We haven’t talked for the last four years, and I’m just a 19-year-old guy without a source of income. Despite living with them, I feel the need to speak out against them for the trauma and mental health issues they have caused me. I want to hold them accountable for their irresponsibility and the mistakes they made. Why did they have three kids when they couldn’t even afford a dog? I want to have a lengthy discussion with them, but I’m unsure if I should. I don’t know what the outcome would be; it might turn violent or emotionally hurt them.
I talked about this with a counselor, and she advised against it, saying it could hurt them and further ruin our relationship. She mentioned that I might regret it later in life. I’m really unsure and would like to hear from people about what is right or wrong. Please share your experiences, thoughts and insights on this matter.

now senior so i thought id take a look back. most TFs or lab instructors missing bc i don't remember them and never attended most office hours.
Courtney Martin - FY101 freshman fall. utterly useless class (was an undeclared major so took it hoping to get some guidance, basically got nothing out of it.) very chill instructor though, no issues there, just waste of time.
Scott Possiel - WR120 freshman fall and WR152 freshman spring, grad student teacher. pretty chill and class was interesting (mediterranean religion [roman religions]), learned strong amount about writing. no complaints, hope he's on to great things.
Alexander Nikolaev - CL/208LX208 freshman fall. awesome class on zoom, funny and knowledgeable dude, learned so much about about indo-european linguistics, and sparked basically all my interest about linguistics. assignments were fun and refreshing. one of my favorite professors at BU despite only having had one class with him, unfortunately he disappeared (left?) after 2020 and I have no idea why, nor did any of my classmates. lucky to have had his last BU class in first semester of freshman year.
Christine Papadakis - CS112 freshman fall. her ratemyprofessor 1.9 score says enough, bad at explaining topics, strange class vibes, pretty unhelpful. seems like a nice person though. main reason i did not continue with compsci after 1 semester at BU, class wasn't too difficult (got B+ and could have done better if i tried harder) but it was so utterly boring it was the dread of every week and genuinely difficult to find any will to do work for it. lectures were insufferably boring, especially on replay when studying. avoid her at all costs.
Edward Loechler - first half of BI107 freshman fall, BI108 freshman spring? (i remember him and spilios teaching some class together or two part or something). chill old man vibes, class was solid and well taught. don't remember anything else except no issues. recommend.
Kathryn Spilios - second half of BI107 freshman fall. chill professor, class was solid and well taught. don't remember anything else except no issues. recommend.
Leah Kronenberg - CL102 freshman spring. awesome professor, very kind and good at teaching. recommend
thomas keyes - CH101 freshman spring. worst professor i had in all of BU hands down. so utterly useless and incompetent his syllabus was barely even divided into paragraphs, just a spam wall of text. lectures monotonous and uninteresting, bad at answering questions, mean to students, generally seemed like he was on the verge of suicide or homicide or both at any given moment. thankfully he retired so i do not have to say avoid him at all costs.
special shoutout to Alyssa Kranc - TF for CH101, grad student. actual angel sent from heaven to guide the class thru the horror that was CH101 with thomas keyes. great at explanations, patient, and brought good vibes. i actually really liked chemistry and it was only thru Alyssa's help and lab review meeting things that I learned anything in this class and got an A. Hope she is onto greater things and epic research.
jane x. luu - AS102 sophomore fall. chill professor, kinda made class easier as time went along when she realized nobody really gave a shit about the subject and was just there for hub or get chance to look thru telescope. actually discovered some really awesome things in her research (the kuiper belt). was visiting professor so dont think she'll be back.
brandon jones - CL101 sophomore fall. awesome professor, good lectures, chill guy. recommend.
john thornton - HI175 sophomore fall. boringest history lecturer ive ever had, quiet so had to sit in the front to even hear him (maybe cuz covid masks everything was quieter). chill guy, easy class, probably cooler to talk to at office hours than for survey history class. recommend.
cathal nolan - HI284 sophomore fall. Lowkey kinda pompous guy, but classes were always insightful and really felt like attending a speech notsomuch a lecture. history of war class was one of the few classes where i felt like i really gained wisdom and not just knowledge, but also fell short of my expectations at the same time if that makes sense. pretty easy if you like history / are good at writing. needs to learn how to use slides though lol, windows photo app on USB stick photos can only last so long. recommend.
Christopher McMullen - FY102 sophomore spring. genuinely do not remember a single thing about this class or professor. pretty sure we unironically did a meyers personality test thing, hilarious waste of time. or that was in FY101.
hannah culik - CL237 sophomore spring. very kind professor, learned a lot in the class. 0 official dealines so u can turn in everything late but i do not recommend leaving it all to the last minute. pretty political charged, but i think in an engaging way. she left BU but i would recommend if she were still here.
simon payaslian - HI176 sophomore spring. felt like high school class but i guess that's how history survey courses go. chill dude, kinda tough grader? dumb assignments. average lecturer. recommend.
bruce schulman - HI231 sophomore spring. very kind professor, i turned in my final research paper like a week late LMFAO and he still accepted it (with some completely justified points off for lateness of course). good lecturer. recommend.
Christopher Daly - HI231 sophomore spring. kind professor chill lecturer some course as schulman (double professors). retired, otherwise would recommend.
Alexis Peri - HI200 sophomore spring, HI272 junior fall - one of the best professors at BU hands down. kind but pushes you to truly learn. writing excelled under her and i felt i improved my overall skills as a student / scholar in every way. she grades easier as class goes on. genuinely proud to have achieved in A in both her courses, pushed myself to get there. maybe a bit too much class discussion for my tastes though, i don't really enjoy sharing out. recommend.
shoutout to Margot Rashba, TF for HI272. helpful explainer since I couldn't go to professor Peri's office hours due to time conflict. hope she is onto great things.
christopher Backman - HI101 junior fall. chill professor, class pretty boring but funny lecturer. completely ghosted my email sent in next semester discussing my idea for senior thesis lol, and wasn't at the office hours listed on website, idk what happened. apparently went on leave after some controversy regarding speech. so yeah lol. recommend.
Stephanie Nelson - CL161 junior fall. awesome professor, kind and fun class. recommend
Timothy Clark - CL162 junior spring, CL322 disorganized and seems like he didn't really care about the class tbh, but overall chill guy. really likes parthia and didn't really care about Rome at all. dumb assignments at times, but he did have no issue with me consistently missing a language class day to to schedule conflict without issue, which I appreciated. don't recommend.
eugenio menegon - HI363 senior fall. hard to explain but going to class just felt... uncomfortable every time? does lot of cold-calling. lecture was kinda boring, didn't learn very much, felt more like a high school survey class of china than a 300 level class on ancient China. covers way too long a time period in too little detail. dude seems pretty chill though don't recomment.
christopher ell - CL300 senior fall. very boring lecturer but he clearly does try to make it funny, which is appreciated. chill guy, some leniency on scheduling and assignments, very clear about all his instructions and overall taught well. very fair and no conflicts at all. enjoyed his class. recommend.
spiridon-iosif capotos - CL261 senior fall, grad student teacher. hilarious, deadpan dry humor. fun class, learned a lot of greek, hope he is onto great things. recommend
simon anderson - SY101 senior spring. chill guy, class not the most useful but was alright. not really that indepth, prob waste of time could've learned everything reading online guides. instructor was fine though, no issues.
hannah kloster - CL262 senior spring, grad student teacher. awesome and kind instructor, very fun class, learned a lot despite having no interest in Greek poetry. hope she is onto great things. recommend.
jilene chua - HI500 senior spring. very kind professor, chill class and great vibes, but too much discussion for my taste. new professor to BU, had her on her second or third semester teaching as professor ever (i think); class was kinda unorganized or ad hoc at times. will only get better as time goes on. recommend.
stephen scully - hi406 senior spring. no interest in the subject (iliad translations) when i joined class and minimal interest in the subject as I leave the class (and BU). chill professor, but grades harshly and requires a lot of writing. cold calls often. class was also quite unorganized for entire first half. in terms of material, honestly a lot of stuff in class felt quite arbitrary in understanding (as is probably the case with most literature classes, which i did not take outside of this). recommend if you really love classical literature / mythology / philology (or anything humanities), don't recommend for classical history (or anything social sciences).
Rui Hua - HI364 junior fall, HI370 junior spring, HI553 senior fall. the most energetic, fun, chill professor i've had at BU, every lecture was a blast and even if i went to class in a bad mood it was impossible to leave without a smile on my face. took us on field trips to relevant destinations when possible. I had the first 3 classes he's ever taught as a professor ever (I think), and it definitely showed bc they were somewhat unorganized or ad hoc. but i am sure his teaching will only get better as time progresses, learned a lot and had a great time in all his classes, he does cover some overlapping material in them so if u take them u might repeat some stuff. also super lenient on deadlines but i do not encourage delaying all of them to the last minute as I did like an idiot. easy classes overall, but if you like the subject he definitely is encouraging for those who want to learn more. recommend.
Loren J. Samons - CL321 junior fall, CL303 junior spring, CL202 senior spring. best professor i've ever had at BU, hilarious, funnest lectures of all time, learned so much, and brings so much old man sardonic energy to every class. CL303 fall of roman empire another class where I felt I genuinely attained wisdom and not just knowledge. assigned readings are some of the few I actually did. class might be difficult if not ur a good writer / not a social sciences person, but u'll definitely improve if you take the effort to do so, otherwise easy class got As in all of them. very straightforward. recommend.
feel free to ask individual questions about any of these professors / instructors in comments.

I've been a substitute teacher for the past 3 years in my city's district. While doing this I've been going to school full time to be a teacher, what better way to get acclimated to the profession than to work in it as much as possible so you're more ready for it when you're hired, right? The harder you work, the more flexible you are, the more admin will notice, right? This is what I was lead to believe from my teaching school. I'm sure it was well-intentioned to us, but in the past months, I've come to believe that wasn't quite the case.
For perspective, my emphasis is mainly secondary social studies, I love history and teaching it to youth, it something I feel personally called to do. But however in those past 3 years I came to love teaching elementary too from consistent field experience subbing all grades K-12. So I applied for jobs in both my main field of study and elementary.
The hiring window has come and gone and I didn't get any interviews at all in my main field of study, and only made it too a pool interview for K-5. I discussed things with the assistant superintendent and the reasons I didn't get hired through to k-5 were for things that were pretty petty and not fully true. Which was one thing, but what was really dejecting was not getting any interviews in the area I was most qualified in, especially since I put time and effort into those places and went above and beyond in my subbing and student teaching to provide the best possible classroom environment I could (I have had great relationships with all the students and they are excited to have me in class as there teacher).
TBH I don't know what administration is even looking for anymore when they hire teachers, why wouldn't they at least give a chance to a candidate they know and trust? Unless someone has it out for me? I'm not the only one who's experienced this for the record my buddy graduated with me in the same field and he also didn't get any interviews, and he put in time as a great ST and a long term sub.
Tying in with the beginning, part of me feels like I may have damaged my reputation with my district by subbing consistently. Upon the assistant superintendents interpretation, it feels like with working as a sub for a long time, admin will pigeon hole little things about you as a candidate and miss the big picture of why you're a great choice, through consistency, friendliness, patience with students, and positive role modeling. I may have been better not subbing at all and straight applying with no knowledge yo admin of who I am or what I'm like. That seems to be what they prefer in my district, shots in the dark, instead of what's right in front of them.
For the record, my district is ultra competitive when it comes to teacher benefits and salaries, so I'm not totally surprised on how difficult it is to get hired, just confused as to why I'm not even considered a suitable candidate?

Hello. Currently a SGT in reserves with 4 years of previous active service. I’m trying to calculate reserve retirement and hoping to commission within the next 2 years (after degree is obtained). Just confirming, that all entry level schools and PME will count as AD time for retirement right?
My confusion mainly comes from hearing that boot marine reservists don’t automatically qualify for thing like GI or VA unless the do 180 days of extra active service.
Thank you.

I (f) just turned 17 today and my entire family is mad at me for spending the day with my bf 17(m). For some context I’ve never had a good birthday. I would always get in trouble the week of and before because my mom is irritable and I would never earn a good birthday. Celebrations would always happen without me or what I would get would be a card or a cake with foreign languages on it with mean comments. For my 15 she got a cake and in blue icing in Spanish she wrote do better and then put me on punishment for confronting her. She kicked me out a year ago to be with her boyfriend and my 9(m) brother her “perfect family” that don’t include me so I’m living with my grandma 65 and aunt 39. They don’t like my mom’s take to my birthday and how I have to earn it and how my brother always has what he wants but I can’t even be present. I’m sorry to sound like a brat but 17 years of resentment adds up. My grandmother and aunt have been preaching about how this birthday will be MY day but the allure of birthdays aren’t even there anymore for me. I got a bf almost 9 months ago and he’s been saying the entire time how for my birthday he’s going to go all out he asked them every month is he can take me out my birthday and they always say yes. I have always had restrictions put on me and they just got worse when me and him got together. I have to turn my phone in every night she checks if I’m otp with him so I can’t be and I haven’t seen him outside of school since his birthday five months ago. I ask and I get random excuses every time when they tell me no. My mom was the one who suggested that I spend my birthday with my bf and when my aunt and grandma were like yes ofc you can they were even saying that can be your birthday gift. I hadn’t asked much for my birthday everything I wanted had been turned down and so what I asked for I made sure I could get when I get told no. All I wanted to do was roller skate and get a cheap hello kitty Stanley dupe off Etsy since they said I could pick a place to go. When today rolled around and they dropped me off at his house since they also haven’t allowed me to learn to drive or get a permit I had fun at his house. He taught me madden even though it made him mad we made cookies and he took me to get chipotle. He got me a bunch of hello kitty gifts and got me a personal strawberry shortcake which is my favorite. I didn’t ask for what he did all I wanted was to play video games and get a cuddle in before I can’t see him for I don’t even know how long. I got home and everyone was mad at me my brother if visiting for the week and even he put his iPad down long enough to mean mug me . My grandmother explained to me that everyone was mad because I chose to spend my birthday with my bf. My brother honestly didn’t even know it was my birthday he asked if it was true. I asked her what she meant and she said how I had chosen my bf over spending time with them. How they had an elaborate day planned out and I didn’t want to. I tried telling her that wasn’t it I would’ve been fine with seeing him tomorrow or even a few hours but they gave me the whole day so I took it and then she said well we feel like you chose someone else over your family when you were supposed to choose us you owe this day. I was asking why they didn’t say no or give me an option or we could’ve compromise d and she said no I was supposed to choose them and be with them but now they know where my loyalties lie. When I went to my room my brother came in and asked why I didn’t choose them and I told him I’ll talk to him later so I wouldn’t get mad towards him. I’m still confused and very mad and hurt by all this but I took an opportunity when it was handed to me so am I the a hole?

Not sure if I am cut out to be a med spouse.
We have been together dating now for almost 3 years. Me (30F) and him (27M). When we started dating he has always told me one of his goals was to get into med school. We didn’t know for sure if it was going to happen and this was his second time applying as the first round he tried, he didn’t get accepted into any schools. About a year and a half into dating, he got accepted into a med school within our state but 3 and a half hours away from home. We were living together when he got accepted and we talked about if I was moving with him or do LDR. I also have a now 9 yr old son so making the decision to uproot his life also was very hard for me. I also had my mom back at home to help me with my son and if I moved I would have no support system with my son. I did sit down and talked to my son to be sure he would understand to most of his ability if he would be okay with the possibility of moving and all the changes that came with it and to my surprise was very excited to maybe move to a new city. I also had my job, where I had work at for almost 7 years and leaving my job was also extremely hard for me as I was very happy at my job. I developed a lot of relationships with my customers that I had bonded and built trust with within those years in my field. I was very leaning towards trying to do LDR his first year of school and then move once he was more established at school. As the date got closer to making a final decision, I want to say he basically gave me a ultimatum of if we did long distance he didn’t think out relationship would work. He has never been in a long distance relationship before and neither had I but I was willing to put in the work and I reassured him that we could make it work but in his mind he didn’t think it would work because “he would constantly be worried about me”. I asked for a promise ring as I was uprooting my whole life and I just needed a reassurance for him to make this big move and he said no bc I just needed to trust his words. I was scared to put an end to our relationship so I decided to move with my son to support his dreams. I was very well aware that a lot of the responsibilities of supporting him would lean on me but prior moving he told me we would split rent 50/50 as he would be living off of his loans. He would help me when he could with house chores and with my son as needed.
I thrive off living life with a routine and communication of how our weeks will go. As soon as school started for him as much as I asked for his weekly class schedule there was always some excuse as to why “he forgot to send it to me”. I needed his schedule to plan accordingly as I was about to start a new job and needed to figure out how I was gonna make it work with my son’s school schedule also. We’ve had a lot issues right off the bat starting med school. He likes to go out and so every chance he to “celebrate” after an exam he would be out with classmates. I would stay home bc obviously I have my son and I also work the next day. I don’t mind him going out at all but its more about how he still barely made time to do anything with me like go out for a dinner date after an exam or just do something fun together. His immediate thought was to go out drinking with friends. Making me feel that he was putting these “new friends” before me.
But long story short because I think my rant is long enough. My bf is finishing his 1st year of med school. He has failed exams and had to retest a couple times and I have seen him fall into depressive episodes and just shut down. I try to be supportive and let him go thru it until he is ready to talk but I can’t say its has been easy for me when he is moody, grumpy and mean towards me a long the way. He gets mean with my son too when my son is being “too loud” for him. I clean I cook I do laundry basically do 90% of everything around the house. He will every couple of weeks maybe do something around the house. I guess most of the times I don’t feel appreciated. I cook after a 10hrs day of work and I don’t get a thank you and on the rare occasion “wow that was a good meal” and I only know he enjoys my food if he ask for seconds. I buy groceries and I would have to basically beg him to come out and help me bring them in to the point where I don’t ask anymore and he just bought me a wagon I guess so I don’t struggle too much carrying all the bags in. Ive expressed several times that I also work 10-11 hrs/day at work that I need a little help too and I don’t feel like I ask for a lot. He doesn’t know how to cook so I never ask him to cook. I clean the house every week. All I ask for is maybe dishes to get wash and just heavy lifting things that maybe I don’t have the strength for and trash to be taken out. I really try my best to make life easier for him while he is doing school but I also remind I am not his mom as he is also a mamas boy and his mom did everything for him even as an adult . He is very coddled by his parents.
I get home sick all the time. When we first moved, I went back home to visit once a month the first semester. Sometimes we were able to go all together but sometimes his schedule wouldn’t work with mine and I would have to go by myself and that was fine but I noticed when I would go by myself he would always find a reason to fight and make that time period that I was back at home miserable. For example my last visit back home was Spring break and I went on a girls trip to another state and back home to visit. At first he was fine when I left but when I was on vacation, he was being short with his texts and just by the way he was texting I knew something was wrong or he was mad. I asked him on my trip if he was mad I got to travel and he took it super personal and just stopped texting me. When I got back from my trip I was in my home town and he finally told me he was upset that I was on a trip on the same week his spring break was. Prior to all of this he knew my girls trips was planned months in advance. I had told him prior to me leaving he could drive back home and we could spend a few days together after my trip together and he refused and I think he was just trying to be difficult bc I didnt invite him on my trip, but WHY would I do that when it was specifically a trip for girls. So he told me I was extremely inconsiderate for going on that trip. So theres that..
We almost broke up after that but we tried to fix things. Fast forward to now I started having a gut feeling as something was off bc he barely wants intimacy anymore and I get it. We are both tired from our day to day. I never want anything anymore bc everything feels rushed and just to make him feel good and then he has to be done quick bc he has to go back to studying. One day recently I went thru his phone and found out he has been texting a girl through a fake number app. They don’t talk consistently but the intentions are there. Doesn’t seem like anything physical has happened but he definitely is trying constantly to meet up with her some day, he just hasn’t bc he has no time bc of school. I haven’t said anything out of consideration that he was going thru finals for end of year. I will admit I have been a little checked out mentally but this was just the icing on the cake bc I have been nothing but supportive to be cheated on. I think I am just numb to everything bc I can’t tell if I’m mad or sad or just relived that maybe this is my sign to go back home. Ive lost almost over 20 lbs since moving bc I dont barely eat just when Im home. My hair is starting to fall out more and I can’t tell if its stress. I guess from all of this I think you can kinda tell what I’m going thru. I have no friends here and its hard to hold this all in and have no one to talk to. My friends back home just tells me to come back already and that he doesn’t deserve me. I just didn’t really think this would be happening but I guess better now then later. I could go on and on about amongst other stuff but I’ll leave at this.
Thank you for reading my rant if you got this far. I know my writing is all over the place.

I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Direct-Armadillo-770
Originally posted to AITAH
AITAH if I don’t go to my sister’s wedding because she is excluding my husband?
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Editor’s Note: added paragraph breaks for readability
Trigger Warnings: verbal abuse, ableism
Original Post: May 11, 2024
I (F , 36) have been married to my husband Brad (M , 40) for the last 6 years. I have a daughter (F,10) from a previous relationship (we were engaged when he abandoned me when I was pregnant to be with his coworker and eventually disappeared).
Brad loves and adores my daughter and my daughter loves him so much . I’m currently pregnant with our first baby (my second baby) . Brad is a paraplegic. He was in a car accident when he was 21. He has since his accident went back to school and currently works as university prof . He is super independent and possibly the best man I could ever married .
My sister is getting married and today she announced that the venue she picked is a heritage building . I told her then it won’t be wheelchair accessible… she rolled her eyes and said “the world doesn’t revolves around Brad , it’s not his day ! It’s mine” . I said I understand but I’m not leaving him behind then . She started screaming that I’m trying to steal attention because everyone will ask where is bride’s sister . Her fiancé suggested having the ceremony at the heritage building but have the reception at another venue that way Brad can join us . My sister said no .
I talked to Brad , he thinks I should go and he and my daughter can have daddy /daughter date and he will take care of her (it’s a child free wedding and we were initially going to ask Brad’s mom to watch my daughter) . He thinks it’s not a big deal and I should just go and enjoy the wedding . I feel very bad and don’t want to go but my sister will be so upset . AITAH if I don’t go to my sister’s wedding because she is excluding my husband ?
AITAH has no consensus bot, OOP was NTA
Relevant Comments
Still_Actuator_8316: Do what feels right to you.
I can see you love your husband very much. And you have every right to be mad that your sister wants to exclude him.
And serious. How hard is it to rent a temporary ramp to be put in place so he can go. But since I don't know the stair situation I can give a pass about that. But there are options

OOP: It’s an old heritage building with lots of stairs unfortunately. I feel really bad for my husband tbh

bluefurniture: I like the idea of the Dad and daughter day. Are you in the wedding party? How does the heritage building get away with skirting ADA laws.? Your sister is awful and at least the fiance is empathetic. don't be surprised if there is no wedding.

OOP: I’m not in the wedding party . Sadly it’s 2024 and we still don’t have something like ADA in Canada . Since it’s a heritage building they don’t care about accessibility. Yes , my husband once a month has a daddy/daughter date . They go to different restaurants each time and do any activities she chooses :)

Great-Asparagus8788: As a Mom of a Differently Abled Daughter- I have to say #1 your sister didn't turn overnight. She's been enabled in her ROTTEN behavior her whole life. Your parents should be ashamed. Your Hubs sounds awesome though! You don't have to ask permission to turn your back on a dumpster fire. Point out it's on fire and the privledge of you ,your husband and their grandbabies presence will be restored when the fire is out. And then leave.

OOP: My parents pay for my sister’s big wedding . They did pay for my at home reception when we eloped as well ( they invited everyone ( about 14 people ) to a restaurant ). I talked to them . They said they do love Brad but it’s my sister’s day and they can’t force her to change her mind . Yes I’m disappointed at them . I just don’t understand how you can claim you respect someone yet tell him to stay home ! You are not welcome …my husband is used to not being included so he is okay . I just can’t get over it

 
Update: May 12, 2024
My post : https://www.reddit.com/AITAH/comments/1cpuqyy/aitah_if_i_dont_go_to_my_sisters_wedding_because/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
. Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice.
It’s Mother’s Day today and of course my husband and my daughter decided to spoil me rotten :) we went for Mother’s Day lunch to my parents. My sister and her fiancé, Bob (his name is Babak , he is Iranian but everyone calls him Bob) came too.
Brad , Bob and my dad were in the backyard Bbqing and chatting . My mom and my sister were in the kitchen talking . My sister went on and on about her wedding plans . I asked her if there is any possibility that she would consider Bob’s suggestion? She can have her civil ceremony , Iranian ceremony , and all her pictures done in her dream venue then have the reception which is just dinner , dance and cake somewhere else . I told her it means alot to me if she makes this accommodation for Brad.
My sister LOST it! Started screaming that I have always been jealous of her and now trying to ruin her dream wedding . She said I’m jealous because I never had a big wedding and had to elope because I had a kid out of wedlock (I didn’t have to ! It was our decision to have a stress free elopement). She also said it was my choice to marry “a cripple” guy so why should her wedding plans has to change . My mom told her to stop but she kept on going . I told her then I’m not coming . I told Brad and my daughter that we were leaving . I couldn’t stay there anymore . Her entitlement sickens me .
Now my parents are mad at me for even suggesting because “your sister is under stress”. My dad thinks I acted immature by leaving and mom says I overreacted because I’m pregnant and hormonal ! I’m so disappointed at my parents too for not standing up to my sister . My plan is to go NC with my sister. I don’t even know who she is anymore . So no happy update . I just cut my sister out of my life and will NOT be going to her wedding. Sorry for typos I’m very emotional right now
Comments
RNGinx3: SaveBob
Your sister is a jerk, and your parents enable and excuse her tantrums. I'd put sister on NC and parents on LC.
Swampy_63: Let them be mad. Their loss.
Your sister has shown exactly who she is. Bubbye.
Hopefully your parents will come to their senses and understand why you’re not going.
captainhyena12: Wow insult your husband calls him a cripple take shots at both you and your child for the child being born out of wedlock and then your parents have the audacity to tell you you're overreacting because you left what? How the hell does someone even have that much? Audacity and this is coming from me. Someone who admittedly at times has way too much audacity.
 

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