Dads toy 1 josman

It's always fun to think about what happens to certain characters after the crime has been solved, but there are a few whose futures I worry about:

1. Otis in Country Matters. His dad is a verbally abusive jerk, but he is the only family the poor kid has.
   
2. Willow in The Axeman Cometh. I guess she can live with her mom, but that is no life for a young woman( although at least she won't be sleeping in the same bed as her dad EWWWW!.)
   
3. Helena in A Dying Art. Her mother murdered her dad( plus 2 other people) so she is all alone.
   

On a lighter note, I hope Melody in Midsomer Rhapsody takes what money she has and gets the hell out of town. Her horrible, selfish mother treats her like a drudge and never let's her forget that she loved/ loves Joan more. Melody's husband also is obsessed with her dead sister. Melody deserves a fresh start with people who will love and value her.

I'm following these instructions for the Frigidaire Electric Range (FCRE305CBS), which didn't include a power cord so I needed to buy a 4-prong cord and install it accordingly.
My dad was helping me install it yesterday, but we were confused by the instructions:
1 - There is a green ground wire from the appliance attached to the ground screw. I assume we loosen this screw, remove the wire, and cut it off completely? Followed by attaching the power cord's green wore to the ground nut?
2 - Are we supposed to remove the nut, put the respective power cord wire on, and then tighten the nut back on? The instructions also talk about loosening the side up and attaching the wire on the lower block were there is a screw, but not sure what that's about.
I want to make sure we get this right so that we don't cause an accident.
https://preview.redd.it/a7ty4wnwff1d1.jpg?width=2304&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d6dbed20f0be5d4b1588faa6a28427f0957e425c

A bit bored, I started to think how could an Academy Awards edition happen if they wanted to celebrate all movies in the cinema history. Taking into consideration my tastes and the value of the movies, I started to nominate different movies and celebrities for almost all the Oscars categories. My only criteria was that a movie could be nominated for one category only. I ended up with these nominations. What would you change/pick as winner?
Best movie
1) Citizen Kane 2) The shawshank redemption 3) Pulp fiction 4) The Big Lebowski 5) The Great Dictator 6) Schindler's List 7) Casablanca 8) The Lord of the Rings trilogy 9) Singin' in the rain 10) Some like it hot
Best Actor
1) Charlie Chaplin - The Kid 2) Daniel Day Lewis - There will be blood 3) Denzel Washington - Training Day 4) Jack Nicholson - One flew over the cuckoo's nest 5) Robert De Niro - Raging Bull
Best Actress
1) Whoopy Goldberg - The Color purple 2) Gloria Swanson - Sunset Boulevard 3) Charlize Theron - Monster 4) Elizabeth Taylor - Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf? 5) Hilary Swank - Million Dollar Baby
Best supporting actor
1) Javier Bardem - No country for old men 2) Joe Pesci - The Goodfellas 3) Anthony Hopkins - The silence of the lambs 4) Christopher Walken - The deer hunter 5) Heath Ledger - The Dark knight
Best supporting actress
1) Viola Davis - Fences 2) Meryl Streep - Kramer Vs Kramer 3) Vanessa Redgrave - Julia 4) Juliette Binoche - The English Patient 5) Marisa Tomei - My cousin Vinny
Best director
1) Milos Forman - Amadeus 2) Alfred Hitchcock - Vertigo 3) Won Kar-wai - In the Mood for love 4) Stanley Kubrick - The Shining 5) Ridley Scott - Blade Runner
Best cinematography
1) John Alcott - Barry Lyndon 2) Peter Deming - Mulholland Drive 3) Jarin Blaschke - The Northman 4) Bradford Young - Arrival 5) Vittorio Storaro - The Last Emperor
Best original Screenplay
1) Billy Wilder, I.A.L. Diamond - The Apartment 2) David Ward - The Sting 3) Jane Campion - The piano 4) Robert Towne - Chinatown 5) Christopher McQuarrie - The usual suspects
Best adapted Screenplay
1) Aaron Sorkin - The Social Network 2) Eric Roth - Forrest Gump 3) Brian Helgeland - L.A. Confidential 4) Kurt Luedtke - Out of Africa 5) Coen Brothers - O Brother, Where art Thou?
Best visual effects
1) Star Wars A New Hope 2) 2001 A Space odyssey 3) Jurassic Park 4) Mad Max Fury Road 5) Matrix
Best Intenational feature
1) City of God 2) Parasite 3) The Seven Samurai 4) The fall 5) 8 1/2
Best Original score
1) John Williams - E.T. 2) John Barry - Dances with Wolves 3) Justin Hurwitz - La La Land 4) Henry Mancini - Breakfast at Tiffany's 5) Ennio Morricone - The Mission
Best animated movie
1) Toy Story 2 2) How to train your dragon 3) Grave of the fireflies 4) The Lion King 5) Spirited away

Have not been following too closely but does anyone please know the following about that $1.5 million house?
-Understand that her parents but down a boat load of money for this house and their names have to be on the title with Michel's name.
-Why is "Sweet Jord's" name not on the title? Do her parents have zero confidence that this marriage will last?
-It is true there was no home inspection? Even if the seller's would not accept that as a contingency, it likely could have be added as "for informational purposes only."
-Did she or her Dad even see this house in person before going to closing? I know it was fast close, but what stopped them from getting on a flight to go see? Michel is a ditz and would only care about the aesthetic aspects but her Dad certainly is smarter than that!!
Again, $1.5 million!!!! ????

Hi, we are looking a closet/storage for our 1 year old's room. Also, a montesori style bed. We saw an ok closet in IKEA, wondering where can we find more. The idea is that he should be able to reach his clothes, toys by himself. Thank you for the responses.

Our journey began unexpectedly when we became parents in our early twenties. To provide for our family, I worked full-time in retail, without higher education, while my partner pursued her bachelor's degree with my support. Work consumed my days and nights, battling silently with depression and anxiety. 60-80 hour work weeks, and only 1 day off in between. Despite a back injury early on, I continued to ensure our family's stability. Evenings were spent at work, leaving little time for family or personal time, occasionally finding solace in a video game. I sucked at that game but I got addicted to it. It took away negatives thoughts of being a failure as a father, and partner. It took away suicidal thoughts but I was a zombie playing this game. I turned on the music and tired to get lost in this game. My partner managed studies, part-time work, and household chores, feeling increasingly isolated as the primary caregiver. Despite wanting to be more involved, work kept me distant. Six years later, with my partner's graduation. I unexpectedly received a better paying job offer, I hoped for balance. I focused on my health, losing weight and adopting a healthier lifestyle. It was a day and night difference. But as I tried to reconnect, my partner grew more distant, immersing herself in solo activities. She had taken up activities with friends more times in the year than spending time with us. She’d always insist that I not be there so she could get her alone time. At one point I offered to find baby sitting but she said sometimes she just wants be alone which was fair. 2 years passed, she had gone out to more than 2 dozen outings but only a couple date nights with for us. She said she didn’t like planning.
During a girls' night at a bar, my partner expressed interest in salsa dancing, excluding me. Feeling excluded, I expressed my longing for quality time together multiple times, but she insisted on her need for space
Should I be betrayed that she went salsa dancing with random dudes for the first time at a bar? I am jealous, I really wanted to experience salsa dancing with her for the first time. Or that she didn’t bother to consider my feelings when I told her I was uncomfortable with it or that I’d like to at least experience this with her for the first time? Am I being a jerk for feeling this way?
TLDR: I’ve been neglectful so I deserve to have taste of my own medicine? Is it unfair for her to expect me to plan the baby sitting? I feel like a single dad for the amount of times she’s left me with our son to hang out with friends. She’s always said I can do the same to her if I need time with friends but what I have been craving the most is quality time with her, she knows this but says it’s easier to leave the kid with me than to make time for us. We both were young parents and missed out on what most 20 year olds do, so why is she leaving me behind? I’m so lost.
How can I be a better partner? I want to try my best.
We have been engaged for 5 years, she’s afraid to marry me. How do I change this, can I change this?

I discovered Shera's videos quite a few years ago, and loved her humour as well as her message to level up. I started noting down all her little gems. They give me motivation, and a giggle too. I am older, in my fifties, and have been happily married for over 15 years, so I don't need her dating, sugaring, or 'get the bag' advice, but I do love her level up advice. I saw another lady share her notes, so I wanted to as well. There are tons, I've realised! I hope you enjoy them!
~~

How do you become the prize?

If you don’t start as the prize, then you aren’t the prize. If you don’t know if your mind that you are already the prize then you can never be the prize.

~~

How to be more feminine so I can be spoiled more?

It’s a lifestyle. You have to act, fake it until you make it, and create a lifestyle. The days that you don’t feel very feminine are the days that you have to use more of your masculine energy.

Remember to always have a space to come back to that is feminine, and recharge yourself with feminine energy. Create a more feminine environment, wear more feminine clothes, listen to music that is going to help your femininity instead of diminishing it.

Keep things that you like to do feminine and do feminine things. Going shopping, getting your nails or hair done, buying shoes, picking out décor for our rooms, decorating tables, going on picnics, watching girly movies.

Recharge yourself by doing some of those things. You need to be able to recharge your femininity at least once or twice a week.

~~

Live the type of life you want already. It may not be on the scale that you want to live it at, but it needs to be a version of it. For example, if you want to live a soft, feminine life make sure your current life reflects that: your current environment, the current way you dress, the current way you walk, talk and act.

The more you receive, the better treatment you receive, if you can get a provider who can let you live a more feminine life, a softer life, then it's just going to get better and better.

But already live the life you want to live, that way they can only improve you and they see how you treat yourself and see what you like and that’s what they are going to be giving you. Your goals will be met just by dating.

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What are some ways to keep him interested in he provides well?

Look good
Make sure you know what his interest are
Talk to him
Make sure he feels like he is the man
Look good when you are out with him
Make sure you are pretty and heads turn ‘ooh who’s he with’
His self-esteem will skyrocket when you go out with him if you look good and he’s not going to want to leave that


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Men like women to switch it up as long as it’s classy.

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Flower attract bees to them by their bright colours and they smell good. Attract men to you:

· Wear bright pretty colours
· Smell good
· Look fresh, dewy and youthful
· Look attractive

Look like the prize. Look like his fantasy. Look through his eyes: what would he like to see?

It’s not that complicated. Bring it back down to simplicity? What do men like?

Heels
Skirts
Dresses
Makeup
Long hair
Red lipstick
Baby voice
Feminine colours
Make them feel good
Give them compliments
Let them talk
Don’t talk about your boring stuff – they don’t care

Use the formula to get success with men.

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If you want to dress casual in jeans and a cute top, still wear heels, hair, full makeup. If you’re going to wear jeans, you’re going to need to wear heels.

Also think about this: what sort of man are you attracting. If you wear jeans when you meet you’re going to get taken to a jeans date. Dress for the life you want.

~~

Comment:
When we had a fight I cut my hair short & bangs & went shopping. He was so glad he said “you look like a different person!” The fight was forgotten & he treated me new again & took me shopping again.

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"Life is fun! (...) life is a movie, life is a stage. Get into character... "

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Men don’t care about anything else but what you look like and how you make them feel.

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If you’ve let yourself go, level yourself up to the point that their jaw will drop when they see you.

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The only limitations are the ones you believe in.

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What do rich men’s wives all have in common besides being pretty?

They’re feminine
They’re classy
They’re not loud and obnoxious
They don’t outshine their husband
They hold back and keep it together in public
They are well proportioned

Shera had a friend who was a little rachet, and she ended up marrying wealthy. She had to totally change everything about herself:

The way she dressed
The way she wore her hair
The way she spoke
The kind of shoes she wore
Her makeup
She had to change it all
How she acted around people
How she spoke to men
She had to change everything
It’s not that she changed who she was inside or her personality
It’s that she changed who she was around men
There’s a difference

~~

Your stock should go up after you get married, not down. If your stock is not rising after marriage you’re doing it backwards. That means still investing into yourself, your beauty, your clothing, into your stash (money, wealth and investments). If you got married and your stock plummeted, that’s your fault.

~~

Loving yourself means putting yourself first as a priority. Knowing your worth and value and not taking any crap from anybody because you value yourself, you love yourself. That’s all loving yourself means. And not talking down about yourself. And knowing that you deserve what you want in life.

Once you do that other people will as well – men, co- workers, your boss, parents, spouse, brother, sister, cousin, whoever. Whoever is in your life at the moment will recognise that you love yourself and that you don’t have to submit to them or that you’re not desperate for their approval. In fact they may start to be desperate for your approval. So make sure you’re putting yourself first.

Don’t be always talking about the other person and what they want or what they think. Don’t care who they are. Don’t care about other people or their spouse or the person they’re interested in. It’s not about them, it’s about you. If they can’t recognise you and they don’t like you, then you are wasting time.

If you have to sit there and be puzzled about why someone is not responding properly or why they’re not doing this or that, it means they don’t like you so just move on and stop trying to waste time worrying about it. You already know that in the back of your mind; you’re just hoping for a different outcome that there won’t be.

Make sure that when you realise you are putting other people before yourself as a priority then you’re not going to get the type of man or people attracted to you that you need. When you can get somebody in the click of a finger and they’re not used to that it means you are valuable and that they are not necessary. They are very unnecessary and therefore they feel like you have even more value because you don’t need them. You don’t need them, they need you. That’s why they seek you out. That’s why they call you, that’s why they ask you out.

Make sure you’re not getting caught up in silliness. If they’re not putting you first, you’re gone. Or you put them on ice; that means you let them figure it out and when they start acting right again then you allow them back into your life. If you’re chasing behind someone, if you’re worrying about someone who ghosts you then you’re not putting yourself first.

And that means you don’t love yourself. A lot of people were taught to act a certain way – not cocky etc – if you don’t, all people see you as is a doormat. You can let down your guards later when they are fully invested in you and aren’t going anywhere, but until that happens they are there to impress you.

~~

How do you fall in love with yourself when you aren’t happy with yourself?

Become happy with yourself:

· Do things that make you happy
· Look the way you need to look
· Continue to do this every day until you are happy

Only you can make you happy

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Don’t go out there lookin’ like Plain Jane. Plain Jane gets passed by with the eye.

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The key is confidence. You can learn all you want, if you don’t have confidence you can’t pull it off. The key is confidence, knowing your value, and not listening to no dusties. That’s the key, that’s the masterclass right there – be confident.

Be main character energy. Stop caring what people think. Have a goal of what you want and go for it and don’t stop until you get it. Speak positive about yourself and stop dealing with dusties. That’s just it. You do all those things and you’re going to have something. You’re going to get what you’re looking for. That’s it.

~~

It’s not what you look like – it’s how you make them feel.

Are you going to make them feel young again?
Are you going to make life exciting for them?
Do they enjoy being with you?
Do they like being seen out in public with you?

~~

Shera, on when you talk about all your feelings and prior history:

“You’re being an informant on yourself. You’re telling on yourself. You’re giving out all your secrets and revealing everything. So that’s definitely not feminine energy, because feminine energy is naturally dark. You know, it’s water, it’s the cosmos, it’s that. So when you’re revealing everything, when nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re masculine. Because that’s light- everything is known. So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have, because now you’re an open book. And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

~~

“Feminine energy is naturally dark, is water, is the cosmos, is that. So, when you are revealing everything, nothing is unknown and everything is known, now you’re more masculine, because that is light, everything is known.

So the more you say, the more you tell, the more you open up, the more masculine you become in that energy, and the less mystery and femininity and feminine allure you have because now you are an open book, you’re predictable.

And they have all the clues to how the story ends and how to manipulate the character.”

~~

Get them to worry about you, while you worry about you.

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How do you find your purpose? You create it.

~~

Leveling up is actually a lot of fun when you are present and mindful about it it’s probably be the best gift you could ever give yourself as a woman.

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Stop caring what other people think and live the life you want to live. If you don’t like kissing people’s butts, don’t kiss their butt.

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A lot of women don’t realise that if you just get into your feminine, and you stick with your standards, you can get what you ask for.

~~

How to become detached and unbothered?

Stop caring. When you care too much, that’s when you can’t detach and be unbothered. Stop caring, become ‘take it or leave it’. That’s your attitude. You will be fine with it or without it.

~~

Comment:

Three years ago I was getting yelled at a public train station (which we had to take because neither of us had a car) by my dusty disgusting ex. I lived in a cheap apartment with four unsavory roomates and their boyfriends. Now I live in a luxury high rise with a conceirge and valet. All I did today was get a facial, sit by the pool and shop. I don’t have to worry about a SINGLE THING and every man in my life treats me like a queen. I’m truly breaking generational curses; my dad left my mom with four kids alone while she worked at Denny’s waitressing overnight. If it weren’t for Shera’s wisdom I don’t know where I would be today but I just give thanks every day that I saw the light. This is my one and only life so why shouldn’t I be living peacefully and bougie.

It’s crazy how fast life can chance when you realize your worth and act on it. Keep on inching further and further; the more luxurious things you do the more the rest of your life catches up. It literally started with me going to the expensive nail salon instead of the cheap one. Then I felt like I deserved more. I moved into a nicer apartment that was out of my budget at first, then a nicer car, then I started buying designer bags and now I live in an ultra-luxurious place. Small steps and the rest of your life will catch up in time. Of course look your best every day and be healthy. And do not give a second of your time to anyone who does not treat you with respect, remember if they’re not adding to your life they are taking away.

The universe somehow just opened up and rains abundance on me. The more you surround yourself with the vibrations of prosperity the more it will be drawn to you. Ella Ringrose on YouTube helped me a lot to draw in money.

~~

Comment:

Shera ever since I started watching you I have levelled up my life completely. I lost 50 pounds and changed my whole look to be more feminine. My husband was so motivated he started making more money and bought me a home and my dream car. He does everything I want now and he feels proud to bring me home his paycheck. I no longer work and just workout every day and focus on my children. A lot of my family members don’t understand this life but I am very happy and comfortable.

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If you give yourself away too easily, your value is low.

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10 Important Habits of a Gold Digger

1)high standards
2)high self-esteem
3)perspective
4)purpose
5)options
6)be unapologetic
7)looks
8)business plan
9) knowledge/value of money
10)stay unbothered

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‘Busy patterns that aren’t classy make you look older’. You can show how classy your clothing is by the cut, colour and pattern, not the brand or designer.

Look to magazines for style inspiration:

O magazine = for older women
Instyle = more youthful

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Comment:
Men need respect, they don’t want your love.

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Wealthy men like women who are thin, feminine, and classy, or classy/sexy.

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Classic = classy. Dress in a way that you wouldn’t look crazy in a photo in 20 years time.

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‘We’re not trying to fit in, we’re trying to stand out.’

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Comment:
Looking beautiful, adore your blouse and that classy backdrop. I have earrings very similar. I have to go out now, I’m over 60 and always look stylish heading out the door . Make up and a cute dress today. You never know who is at the coffee shop 😊

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Be cute, be feminine, don’t talk so much. Let him do the hard work.

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‘You’re not his momma stop acting like it’ video
Women will turn into their man's mother without realizing it! Then he will run.

A lot of times when a woman has been in a relationship for a long time or is married, they start acting like a mother to the man without even realising it. To avoid that, do these things:
· Totally change everything – change how you dress, put more makeup on, wear heels.
· Act ten years younger.
· Don’t be concerned about the things you used to be concerned about.
· Let everything be free and fly.
· If you once worried about dishes in the sink don’t worry about it anymore.
· Change it up.
· If he realises that you stop caring and you just put all that extra energy that you were nagging and trying to organise and keep stuff right or that you were frustrated about – if you took all that extra energy and put it back into yourself – and you stopped worrying about the house and the domestic issues and him doing this, this and that. He’s going to think, ‘Well dang, everything is out of order, now she’s dressing like this and putting on makeup and looking this way, and the dishes aren’t clean anymore, or she’s not nagging me about picking up my clothes and the room is a mess’, then either he’ll get up and do it or he’ll start turning into your father.
· You mirror what they do and they’re gonna start seeing what you are doing by you have to act that way with them.
· You stop cleaning dishes, you start leaving your stuff on the floor.
· You start dressing cute, and say you’re going out.
· You forget to do stuff, or you stop helping out because you don’t want to damage your nails or the Real Housewives is on.
· Start doing the same thing to him – he watches sport, you say, ‘Oh Housewives is on, I wanna watch it. I don’t wanna watch it later.’
· You don’t do any of this like it’s revenge, just like you joined him in not being responsible, or joined him with more relaxed rules.
· He might like it. He might be like ‘you’re so laid back, you look happy today’.
· Then he might start cleaning up more because it’s not an order.
· But as long as you’re happy and not nagging him, he’s going to do it voluntarily.

~~

How you act and how you make him feel will give you more power to get what you want.

· Look good
· Be more feminine
· Speak softly
· Smile
· Laugh at whatever he is saying and make him feel good about who he is
· Let him talk more than you
· Feed his ego
· Act vulnerable and he will want to do things for you, will want to please and impress you

(I added:
· Ladylike, dainty, girlish, delicate, compassionate, considerate, sympathetic, tolerant, warm-hearted, gracious
· Calm, refined and tasteful
· Agreeable, friendly, good-natured,
· Kind, moral, pleasant, delightful)

That’s how you get what you want.

Our power is in our femininity, not in our masculinity, not in being in competition with a man, but making them weak because we are giving them exactly what no-one else does and so they’re not used to it and they yield to it and want more of it and they’re going to do what you want.

Being feminine is the key to getting what you want. There is no magic formula; it’s just ‘being feminine’. Work on that and you will get what you want. Work on your baby voice. Work on asking men for things and help, feeling vulnerable around them and stroking their ego and you can pretty much get what you want, especially if you choose the right target. Don’t go up and choose someone who has a thousand options, go up and choose someone who feels lucky to be with you and who will act accordingly.

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Men don’t like jealous women. You look insecure if you show jealousy. If you feel jealous, act like you don’t care – laugh it off.

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Men don’t like to be told what to do or have someone running their life. They don’t need you to offer them suggestions – this will just make them feel like a child, emasculated and they will rebel.

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Have a hobby and have a life.
Have your own life.
Make yourself number one.

Make sure he likes you more than you like him. If he really likes you he is going to chase you and not let you go, and you don’t even have to do anything to make this happen.

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I am not a people pleaser. I live for myself not others. And that’s how you have to be to be unbothered. Be unbothered always and you will live your best life.

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I live in a fantasy world every day. That’s why I can create the world that I want.

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A dream woman is motivation for a man in every way. If you no longer motivate him, you are no longer his dream woman.

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A good actress will melt into her role.

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Instead of waiting and having regret later, make the decision now to do what’s best for you, not what’s best for the outside world and what they think. Do what’s best for you in the long run, not what’s best for you right now in this one moment which will pass. Think ahead. Right now is gone. As soon as you think about it, it’s gone.

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To be a dream woman and to be worshipped by the man you are with, you have to stay focused on you. Don’t be about him. A man’s dream woman does not mean she is all over him. She has a life. Keep a healthy distance instead of being extra clingy. That way you stay on his level. Make sure you appeal to his friends (in a classy way) too. He will see that others appreciate you and know that he has the prize.

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“Put outfits together in your mind when negative people are talking.”

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How to be unbothered?

Comments:

‘Fake it till you make it. That’s what happened with me I started to pretend that it didn’t bother me. Now I’m literally so unbothered and focused on myself.’

‘When you are showing that you’re upset or bothered, you are giving them power to know they affected you. I love everyone but I do not argue. I have trained myself not to get emotional even at my husband or family. Being this way also makes you more respected, it’s part of your charisma.’

‘Being unbothered is a choice.’

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Comment:

If you're over 35 the best ways to look young is to drink a gallon of water a day....it's good for wrinkles..and helps your makeup glide on like butter.

Eat less and eat as much green as you can (Kale, Broccoli, Spinach) so you can be as slim as possible so that you feel good in your clothes....

Work out to increase your confidence...

Dress your age....nothing worse than a woman who dresses out of her age range...makes you look like you're trying too hard...

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Build confidence by not accepting that you have low self-esteem. Every day improve yourself so your self-esteem gets higher and higher. Don’t wallow in it, don’t accept it. Every day tell yourself what you want:

I look good
I feel good
I’m great

Tell yourself that. Give other people compliments, and they will give you compliments. Before you know it, you’ll have high self-esteem. You have to work on it, it doesn’t come automatically. It took a long time to tear down your self-esteem, and it takes a moment to pull it back up.

Just work on it, keep moving forward. Don’t let anyone put you down again.

~~

How to keep your husband interested

· Less communication
· Less giving of information
· Spend more time apart
· Don’t get so close that he is going to want to back up
· You have to get close then back up, get close then back up again
· Look your best at all times
· Don’t smother people and they won’t try to escape you
· Have a life
· Have things to do
· Have a to-do list that does not require that person

Go out and do things. He will appreciate you more when you get back. He will wonder what you’ve been doing. He will anticipate your return.

Don’t let him conquer you. When men have conquered a woman, they will move on. If he doesn’t feel like he can ever conquer you, he will try harder. Never let him feel like he totally has you.

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Masculine people (men or women) tend to run to the rescue of others.

~~

Shera, on uplevelling your looks and being your best every time you step out the front door: Don’t let life pass you by. Life is short. Life is very short.

Comment on Shera’s video: My mom went through a season where she dressed up and it just made our whole family and home come alive. I remember when my mom walked into the living room all fixed up and my little cousin's eyes just lit up. He said be careful don't touch her lol. He literally went from seeing her as a plain ol’ aunt to a princess. He was so young, but he couldn't fake it; that was his instincts.

~~
· It’s not about looking young, it’s about looking good.
· If you miss an opportunity to be levelling up, you are only cheating yourself.
· Stay ready.
· Every day do something to improve yourself - hair, exercise, mindset, self-esteem
· Enjoy getting ready – be creative
· If you’re wearing makeup, go bold. Men want to see the makeup.
· Men like it when you look your best. When you’re out in public, people are judging a man’s status by the type of wife he has, how she looks. You add status to any man that you are with.
· If you are attractive, you will have a lot of friends inviting you out. They will use you to attract attention because you look good. They are going to gravitate towards you and associate you with success. Your appearance will get you further than almost anything else.

~~

When you’re trying to lure a man in, dress for that man. Men do pay attention to what you look like.

Broke men pay attention to your silhouette. They look at your body because they just want to have sex with you.

Men with money pay attention to what you wear: your clothes, your shoes, your jewellery, your shoes, your hair, everything. Are you appropriate? If he wants to take it to the next level and take you out and get to know you, start a relationship, introduce you to his friends, he isn’t just looking at your body.

~~

The better you look, the more successful he looks.

~~

Men are visual creatures. Everything men do is based on that they see. How they treat you is based on what they see.

If you go without makeup, hair not done, and dressed badly, you won’t get the same treatment even by the people who see you every day. When you look good, the people around you have a little bit more respect for you. They see you looking pulled together and to see you any other way is foreign to them.

When you are levelled up, keep this in mind, don’t backslide. When a man meets you looking good, he wants to see you like that for your entire marriage. He doesn’t want you to let yourself go.

Try hard to keep yourself up during your marriage; how you looked when you met him is how he wants to see you forever more.

Men are very visual creatures, so when they see us looking bad, it upsets them. It literally makes them clench inside a little bit because they are so affected by the visual.

You are like a Christmas tree or a beautiful ornament. It’s a pleasure to look at you and they’ll want to be around you just for that.

People may treat you badly because you didn’t keep up your looks - a man could be speaking to another woman or ignoring you.

~~

“Just act and dress like a feminine lady. You’re making them feel younger by being in their presence. Watch 1950s Hollywood movie stars to watch how those ladies acted.”

Never help a man level up as they will always put you in a maternal role and look at you as a mother figure.

How to change your mindset:
1. Tell yourself that you are no longer allowing people to make you feel bad about something – that’s your choice.
2. Decide that you want to be better, and each day take action towards being better. Your self-esteem will rise from this.
3. Surround yourself with like-minded people so you can influence and help each other.

~~

People who talk less are generally more well respected.

~~

“Look for the positive in every negative comment or situation, and you will find it every time.

Whatever your weakness is, make it your strength, to fuel you to the next level. That’s how you really level up from inside. Face your weakness head on. If someone calls you fat, flaunt it. Say, ‘So what? Yes, I eat, I haven’t seen a rib in many decades, but I’m happy. I got a lovely husband, nice house, nice car.’

Instead of being a victim about it, empower yourself with it. Your flaw can be your power. It can be your power if you take it and embrace it and stop focusing on it as an insecurity. The more you focus on something as an insecurity, the more other people will focus on it because they know it’s your weakness and that’s how you get affected. Whatever your flaw is, turn it into something that can give you more than it can take from you. If people say it’s a flaw, take it and turn it into a power.”

~~

Don’t listen to what people say; what do you think? Opposition creates interest.

~~

· Be extra feminine in the way you dress, speak, act.
· Be charming - smile, don't argue (and then do exactly what you were going to do anyway).
· Ask for help from your man - opening a jar, lifting something, reaching up high, anything - they love it. Do this three times a day. Say things like 'It's too heavy for me'. Doing this makes them feel protective of you.
· When you are offered help, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine baby-voice.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every day to men everywhere so that it becomes second nature. Things such as asking a man for assistance at the supermarket and smiling and saying thank you in a feminine voice.
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you.
· Look your best, put on makeup every day, smell good, be well groomed, have nice nails.
· Speak to him as if he's a person and not a child - don't try to control him. Mothers control their children and men don't want to have sex with their mother.
· Ask for what you want, but do it in a feminine way.
· Act like the prize to be the prize.
· Be unpredictable - men will get bored of you if you are too predictable. If you are unpredictable it is exciting to them plus scares them a little too. They will wonder why you are different.
· Don't talk so much.
· Mirror how he acts to bring him closer. Say your man is a bit distant; my natural inclination is to wonder what is wrong, try and talk to him etc. That is clingy, a better way to behave is mirror that - be busy doing your own things, happy but busy and let him come looking for you when he comes out of his cave.
· Be feminine in everything you do - surround yourself with reminders of your femininity - i.e. a pink phone cover.
· Be the receiver not the giver.
· Let him think up ideas, with your subtle input.
· Hardly ever text or call him at work, unless you need him to pick up something.
· Dress up every day for no reason.
· Smile.
· Always be levelling up.
· Have a plan B.
· Don't tell him your plans for the day or where you have been - be a little mysterious and let him wonder what you've been up to.
· Keep the mystery alive with privacy - closet, bathroom etc.
· Don't do everything together.
· Have hobbies and interests of your own.
· Make him feel like a man by asking his advice, seeking help from him, not trying to tell him what to do etc.
· Keep up with new trends and the latest styles. Try new looks, buy new clothes, look cute.
· Make him feel younger by being fresh, new and exciting.
· Be excited by life and easily impressed.
· Go on vacation, go out to places.
· Do new things and turn him on to new things. Do new things in bed.
· Change your looks - look different, be different.
· Listen to the latest music.
· Keep up with the latest trends in things.
· Be an exciting adventure.
· Be happy go lucky, not a care in the world, everything is fun.
· Head up, chin up, look around, smile.
· Get all excited when you talk about little things.
· Light up when you talk to people.
· Bring a high energy.
· Wear your hair long and straight or smooth-wavy.
· Be seasonal - with your look/outfit, eating, décor.
· Reinvent yourself regularly.
· Play different characters for fun.
· Channel someone else when you go out.
· Be constantly changing and improving.
· Be a lively woman - bubbly, happy, exciting, smiling, lifts their spirits, fun to be around.
· Grab his hand and pull him along like a child.
· Be energetic and breathe life into others.
· Mirror his body language about 10-30 seconds later.
· Try new things, new looks.
· Practice your charm on waiters etc.
· Be a people watcher in different environments depending on the lifestyle you desire.
· Look from the outside in - how do people view you? How attractive are you?
· Transform yourself.
· Be his ultimate fantasy girl.
· Look good, do your makeup every day.
· Speak to your him as if he is a person and not a child.
· ‘Can you help me/lift that/get me a blanket?’ in a baby voice. Get him used to looking after you. ‘This is too heavy for me, I can’t reach it’. Do this three times a day minimum.
· Ask for what you want in a feminine way.
· Use the baby voice.
· Be extra feminine.
· Be charming – smile, don’t argue – agree (but do exactly what you want anyway).
· Ask for help from men.
· When you are offered anything, accept it.
· Talk to men in a feminine nature.
· Practice being feminine and flirty every do so that it becomes second nature to you – it will become easier with practice.
· Ask questions and smile.
· Play a bit dumb (not stupid; request their knowledge).
· Use your feminine charm on everyone around you – practice on any man to get better.
· Never get too comfortable (don’t let yourself go).
· Keep the illusion going – makeup, hair, lotion, fragrance.
· Look like you did when you first met (me: 66-67kg, long blonde hair, stylish clothes).
· Men are visual creatures and your hair is foremost – long, silky and straight.
· Have your makeup on, look cute.
· Shera’s husband treated her differently when she gained weight and then lost weight.
· Shera’s advice to a lady who gained 40 pounds and now her husband isn’t attracted to her: ‘Lose 40 pounds’.
· Still look sexy even if you’ve been together a while.
· Exfoliate your face and body.
· Have glowing, moisturised skin.
· Use highlighter on your face.
· Wear perfume, body lotion, nicely scented products.
· Wear red lipstick, eye makeup.
· Wear light, modern perfumes.
· Have simple, nice nails.
· Tell him that whatever you want is your ‘ultimate fantasy’.

~~

If you want to be married to a rich man, dress like a rich man’s wife.

~~

Be unbothered

It’s so amazing to just not care. You have no idea how much better your life gets when you stop caring. When you stop caring about stuff that’s not beneficial to you, everything blossoms, everything. Because your attention is no longer on anything negative, it’s all on you, and so you blossom.

How to keep your man chasing you? Be busy, don’t call him all the time. Have a hobby or a business and let him have to go looking for you.

~~

Did you ever feel insecure about your weight?

“No.

At any weight my mental game was tight, it was good. I could get anything I wanted, so it never really held me back. The only thing that would ever make me feel insecure about anything is… I really don’t have a lot of insecurities anymore. I had the normal insecurities of a child. But when I grew up and I understood that you could take your power from any situation, you no longer have insecurities.

If I was insecure about my weight, I wouldn’t be up here on YouTube, and if someone says something about how I look, I don’t care. I say Okay yeah and so what? I’m eating good, I’m living good. It doesn’t bother me, because that’s not what defines me. I’m gonna get paid skinny or fat. I’m gonna be happy at whatever makes me feel happiest. So it’s all about how you feel about yourself and how you value yourself. You don’t base your self-worth on what other people think about you.

And the reason why I teach people you gotta look good if you want to turn heads and make men cross the room is because if you are trying to get a date, yes, you have to be concerned with what other people find attractive. But that should not ever play a role in your own personal self-esteem.

Whatever you need to feel good at the time, tomorrow or today, that’s what you need to be doing.”

~~

Probably going to get buried but I don't care. Also a bit self indulgent and main character but I don't care. I also expect the mods to delete this but I don't care. I need to vent, to here, my supporters bar.
Anyone who knows who I am and the slightest thing about my post history knows that I'm a bit 'volitile'. I've probably lost more friends on here than I've made (I regret my falling out with u/Glasdir and once or twice, I've triggered the Reddits "Are you ok?" message with a link to the samaritans.
Before I start, is everyone else ok? I hope you are but please know you're not alone if you aren't.
I'm trying to rectify this issue, I'm accessing online counselling and I've joined a Dads only support group. I'm on medication now for post natal depression. I'm exercising regularly.
I've struggled with bullying in the past and being neuro atypical I struggle with social ques. Despite this I have a job that I like, my wife and now nearly 1 year old daughter are wonderful.
I've recently gone through the big three over the last 2 years - wedding, child (with stressful pregnancy) and now flat move.
Last season was a great relief from all that stress and worry. I helped that were winning. Now, I've been following the Albion since I was 10 (now 37, you do the maths) so I'm hardly a sing when you're winning type. But since the group stages of the Europa have finished, I've found it really hard to get any joy out of football. This was right around the time I was at my lowest and started to seek help after an self harm episode and also having to actively nope out of various unaliving options (I didn't want to off myself but I thought about how I'd do it if I wanted to and then decided that all of them were crap). Long story short, I felt like my family would be better off without me. I still fight these thoughts sometimes.
I've tried to push others to be positive about our results but that's a coping mechanism for myself. I don't read North Stand Chat anymore cos that's too depressing.
I can't even form an opinion about this season cos I don't know what the correct one is. I just parot the one that is least likely to cause arguements after my most recent break down after the Burnley game.
Football is supposed to be fun. It's also 22 people chasing an inflated pigs bladder around. I'm 37 years old with a wife, 1 year old and a mortgage. I'm supposed to be able to filter this all out. I've tried. But I can't. I feel like a fucking man child.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know if Reddit is for me anymore. I'm ok enough to be happy enough. I just don't understand why I can't turn this off and why it bothers me so much and why I attach a small but significant part of my mental health to this.
Anyway, that's me. What about you. I'm not after advice or sympathy btw. But either would be appreciated.

Hii! I'm doing a bloxburg rp ( my house ) and the roles are:
Mum ( AKA me,35yrs,named Sophie but Soph for short )
Dad( maybe,aged 37,named Alex or any other boys names )
1 teen ( called Olivia but Liv for short, 16yrs)
2 kids ( can be boy and girl, aged 11,named Alison or Ali for short and Jake )
1 baby or toddler ( boy or girl idm, if boy then namd either Hudson,Teddy,Max,Leo or Louis , 1yr , can't walk and can kind of talk ) If girl then named: Riley,Milley or Carly ( again, 1yr,can't walk but can kind of talk )
Sophie-Loves going to the gym,loves to be fun but still strict,single (if no one wants to be dad but other wise married),kind
Alex-Works a lot in the evenings,brunet,always takes the kids to the beach on Saterdays,very kind
Liv- Brunet,loves hanging out with friends and sneaks out sometimes,addicted to ticktock,eldest sibling,doing her GCSE's
Alison-Blonde,kind,loves to go to ballet and swimming,loves playing with friends and going on the trampoline,twins with Jake but is the elder twin
Jake-Brunet,kind,loves football,loves gaming with his friends,twins with Alison but is the younger twin
If you would like to be the baby or toddler pls comment as well as with all of the other characters and if I should do a post doing the other characters for example friends or family ext and type your roblox user name and your display name if you have one,my roblox user name is Limebelle20 and my display name is IH3ARTGLOSSY
*REMEMBER: Please do not get up set if you don't get in the rp there is many more characters i need for my rp that you can maybe have a chance to be!*

*by the way, I am not buying it right now, maybe later in the summer if I like photography which is looking good so far*. Anyways, so my dad just dug up a Pentax *ist DL and I'm liking it so far. I want to see for, in the future, if there are any viable options for a new camera. My main issues with it:

1. hard to control settings, I still am confused on where to set exposure, for example
2. no live view. The viewfinder is fine for some shots, but if the camera needs to be low-to-the ground or at a weird angle, which it is pretty often, it's super hard to see the shot.

So now I am looking for cameras. I know this is a long-shot, but I want an old(ER) budget DSLR with live view and decent performance (comparable/better than the *ist DL) and just a camera that's easy to learn with. My budget is about $100, if it's slightly above it then still let me know because this isn't a strict budget, but under $140 for sure. All I want is the camera w/ a basic lens, a few lenses would be nice but I doubt that's viable.
Thanks for any recommendations!

So this is the link to my earlier post where I explained my situation : https://www.reddit.com/Paranormal/comments/1cvhh7n/i_think_i_am_losing_my_mind/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
So right now I am even more freaked out as my dad told that in his room he has experienced the feeling of someone sitting on his chest while he was sleeping.....also my mom is now the only one smelling the smell of rotting cloth.....the only room where I feel safe is the room dedicated to god where my grandma sleep.....I am creeped out now and don't know what to do

Looking for advice with this situation. Renting a house in Maricopa County in Tempe, Arizona. Had a small backup in the kitchen sink so landlord sent a plumber out. While they were using a pipe camera, they discovered that underneath the house the cast iron pipes are cracked and leaking in multiple areas.
So the problem is the cast iron pipes leaking under the house. Landlord sent a handful of plumbers out and was given 2 options: 1. Put some sort of lining through the existing pipes for $20k and 2 year warranty. 2. Jackhammer through the kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and laundry room floors, rip out the pipes, completely replace them, then have to repair the floors, cabinets, any wall(s) etc. also for around $20k but with a 10 year warranty.
Landlord's homeowner's insurance had an exclusion for pipes underneath the concrete slab, so unfortunately he's paying out of pocket and obviously price is way more important to him than convenience for us.
We submitted a claim with our renter's insurance, they said there is no claim due to no personal property damage. But we're trying to clarify that it's not personal property damage but instead "loss of use" of the rental house. No idea if this will make a difference.
As of right now this is what the landlord wants to do: go with the option with a better warranty, meaning like half of the house will be totaled, kitchen/bathrooms/bedrooms/laundry unusable so we won't be able to live there. Also the pipes under the backyard will have to be ripped out. Estimated time on the plumbing contract is 6 weeks (but who knows how long it would actually take). Landlord said the existing tile throughout the house isn't sold anymore, so he is planning to have all floors in the entire house replaced (2 bathrooms, 3 bedrooms, kitchen, dining, living). He said the plumbers/restorers want all the floors cleared of any furniture or stuff so it's easier for them to get the work done. Landlord suggested we put our furniture out in the backyard (there's a small area of a patio with a little roof). He said he won't charge us rent while the repairs are being done.
Okay so first of all, it seems difficult to find a temporary place to live *we have 4 cats* for 6 weeks (assuming it could take longer since these things usually do). From what I've seen so far, the options don't allow 4 cats and are like twice as expensive as our monthly rent. I do not think it's reasonable whatsoever to put all our furniture in the backyard even if some is covered. There are scorpions, black widows, and feral cats out there that spray the flower pots and stuff. I also don't think it's reasonable that we would personally have to move our furniture out. We don't have the time (both working like 60 hrs a week and no time off any time soon) or expertise not to damage furniture trying to drag it out there. Another thing I don't think is reasonable is to have all the floors in the entire house replaced while we are tenants even if some of it is totally fine, that takes extra time as well as all the effort of moving everything out of the rooms and closets.
Are the following reasonable to ask for?

1. Landlord to only fix the floors and rooms damaged by construction, can buy enough tile for the other rooms but wait until we move out to finish the other rooms floors (the only thing is IDK how they would leave the tile edges in the meantime). That way we could stuff more furniture into the 2 bedrooms that aren't expected to be affected by the repairs. My dad made a point though that if they are essentially bringing sewage soaked dirt up into the house to get to the pipes then it could make all the furniture smell - not sure if this is what would happen.
2. Landlord to pay for a POD out front and for professional movers to move our furniture out (I would already have to spend a huge amount of time carefully packaging up my collections of breakable random stuff in cabinets and shelves) and packing everything we could possibly need for up to 2 months of living elsewhere.
3. Landlord to contribute to the temporary housing since it will be way more expensive (assuming we can even find a place that allows 4 cats??) than our monthly rent. Hopefully we would find something like an AirBNB that is furnished. I can't imagine a hotel would accept 4 cats and we would need a kitchen so we wouldn't have to pay extra for meals.

I know it sounds ridiculous to have to go through all this nonsense, we thought about just moving. But our current rent amount is significantly cheaper than other similar houses in the area. We are planning to live here for at least another year, so in the long term like $500-1,000 extra per month plus moving expenses and time needed to move to another house would be pretty significant so we want to try to make this work. We also really love this house and have 2 feral cats that have lived in our yard for 3+ years so we don't want to ditch them lol.
Any ideas or knowledge of Arizona renter's rights would be much appreciated!!

My wife (35) and I (47) have been married for 10 years. I’m a stay at home Dad (I know it’s an unusual situation, but works for us…most of the time) and we have a 7 year old and twins that will be two in August.
My wife went to run and errand this morning and while I was filling a cup for a twin, one of the twins scribbled with a Sharpie on our kitchen countertop. Of course the wife got mad when she got home…mad at me for allowing it to happen.
She said that ‘I don’t understand how frustrating it is for things to always be broken when she gets home.’
She always says I don’t understand, which irks me. ‘I said, right. I don’t understand.’
She said. ‘You don’t. Otherwise it wouldn’t keep happening.’
To which I replied, ‘I’m just a bad parent.’
She really hates when I say that, so complained about how frustrating it is when I say that.
I said, ‘How am I supposed to feel?’ She is basically blaming me. I asked, ‘How would you feel if I said that to you?’
She always says ‘fighting words’ and then is shocked when I react. She said. ‘When would you say that to me?’
‘I wouldn’t, because it hurts.’
Am I a perfect parent? Far from it, but I try my best. I don’t bring attention to her faults as a parent either, for a couple reasons…1) It hurts and to avoid the argument 2) She already struggles with parental guilt from working so much.
Just wish she was more mindful of my feelings.

I (21F) have been friends with Kara (26F) since I was 14. Saying we are best friends is an extreme understatement. When we were younger, we used to take bubble baths together, do makeup together, tell everything to each other, take each others nudes for guys we liked, we were one person essentially. We went through a lot together, getting clean off drugs, she was present when I was raped, deaths of friends, abusive relationshipd, all things that we really leaned on each other for. We lived together for a while. We have always been best friends. She was there for me when nobody else was and I for her. I do love Kara immensely. She's the first person I go to whenever something in my life happens. I always refer to her as my other half.
Kara moved to the other side of the country a few years ago. In that time, she had a child and went through a few relationships. This is where things took a turn. Kara would tell me about her relationships...and the people she was cheating with. She's never been loyal in a relationship. As long as I can remember, she's always cheated. Shes also never been single. She hops from relationship to relationship, or they simply just overlap with each other. I've never been completely comfortable with it, but as I get older, it gets harder and harder to support her choices. I used to tell the partners sometimes, but they'd always go back to her, so I just gave up. It did more harm than good to say anything. I'm the only one who knows when she got pregnant, she went off birth control to do it and lied to her partner about it being an accident. She also doesn't fully know if he's the real dad.
When Kara had the baby, she was great for a bit. But then she started experimenting with hard drugs again. She would do it while the baby was asleep and say it was no big deal since the baby never "needed" anything. Eventually, Kara and the baby dad broke up because the relationship was wildly toxic, and Kara became a weekend mom. Kara would call me to complain about how she couldn't afford to go to court for a custody agreement, couldn't afford child support if asked, and couldn't afford daycare if she got full custody. She talks about how her bills are barely caught up and she's financially not doing well. Then a week later she will call me to say she spent $120 on fancy water bottles, she's planning to finance a new offroad vehicle, or to say she's buying a new project car (she has 2 already) and she's got new hair. She buys the baby toys sometimes, but the baby dad and his mom mainly pay for everything.
Kara is with a new guy whos living with her, whom she hides from the baby dad, who doesn't want different men over while his kid is only a toddler. This new guy is only 18 and was a virgin with no relationship experience. She's cheated on him with the baby dad. Again, I'm the only one that knows. I'm supposed to be nice to the new guy, but I just can't handle it sometimes, I feel so much guilt for him. He's got a lot of trauma, and I think he's really trauma bonded to her.
Kara does not clean very much. Her house is more often than not a complete gongshow. She also has a plethora of (physical and mental) health issues that she makes claims causes her (but is not limited to) these issues: allergic to water because of fluoride (only drinks soda), allergic to most foods like meats, vegetables, grains (but will eat fast food), kidney stones (not related to her dietary choices), heart problems, arthritis, the flu often, and seemingly something new each month. She gets fired from jobs often for missing too much work. This health thing has been going on since we were young. It's hard to believe everything she says when it's something new all the time, and she doesn't always follow through with treatment or lifestyle changes.
Recently when we call and I try to talk to her about things going on in my life, she pays a bit of attention for many 10 mins then the rest of the conversation is about her and her life. She always moves the conversation to her. I feel like I'm just a diary at times. I feel like she doesn't really care as much about me as she used to and sees me as a constant unconditional thing in her life rather than a human being with issues of my own.
I try so hard to validate Kara and support her choices. But it becomes so much harder as a grow and mature. I can't tell if I'm becoming a Karen for not wanting to associate myself with her anymore. I feel bad for feeling like I'm outgrowing this friendship. I don't even know how I would break it off. I love her so much, I just can't rationalize or support the things she's doing anymore. I feel guilt for the people she hurts. I feel guilt for her kid. I feel uncomfortable about these choices. She still acts like we're teenagers and have no responsibilities. I'm exhausted by stressing over her and if she's okay. I can't communicate this stuff with her because she always has a reason why she's right and valid in her choices and simply freaks out or argues. I can only validate and support her. I feel like as adults, our lives are entirely different, and I can't support half the stuff she does anymore.

My parents were married 40 years before Dad passed away. Mom passed away this April. He married wife #1 in 1959. He had three children from his first marriage and got full custody in the divorce on grounds of abandonment. Parents had six children together. I know the maiden name of the first wife, her birthdate, and place of birth (Onondoga County, NY). I also know she had a younger sister. They were listed as residents of a children's home in the 1940 United States census. 1950 census has turned up nothing. I found an obituary for the younger sister (died November 7, 2012) which says that my dad's ex-wife predeceased her. I can find nothing online connecting these girls to any parents. Where would we start?