BHAAL
Lord of Murder
Intermediate Power of Gehenna
Symbol A white, face-on human skull surrounded by a counterclockwise orbit of many streaming teardrops
Realm Throne of Blood (Gehenna/Khalas)
Alignment Lawful Evil
Aliases Niynjushigampo (among the Gugari)
Superior Bane
Allies Hoar, Mask, Myrkul
Foes Arvoreen, Gargauth, Chauntea, Helm, Ilmater, Lathander, Llira, Savras, Solonor Thelandira, Torm, Tyr, Yondalla
Servants Loviatar, Talona; Kazgorath (dead), Shantu (dead), Thorax (dead)
Servitor Creatures annihilators, baatezu (dogai), beholders, blood warriors, bodaks, bonebats, boneclaws, bonedrinkers, cloakers, corpse creatures, cursts, darkmantles, darktentacles, deathdrinkers, deathfangs, displacer beasts (fiendish), dreads, firbolgs (fiendish), grell (usually philosphers), hangman golems, harrla of hate, ironclad maulers, lurkers, lurkers above, lurking stranglers, mad slashers, mohrgs, murderjacks, owlbears (fiendish), perytons, redcaps, ropers, shadow chokers, skeletons, spectral lurkers
Manifestations a pair of flying crawling claws that can point, carry or wield things, or grow or fire bone daggers from their fingertips; a flying and laughing human skull that hurtles around trailing teardrops; a sudden and uncontrollable urge to murder
Signs of Favor none
Worshipers assassins, murderers, bounty hunters, ritual killers, torturers, mercenaries
Cleric Alignments LE, LN, NE
Specialty Priests Deathstalkers
Holy Days Feast of the Moon
Important Ceremonies Day’s Farewell, any ritualistic act of murder
Portfolio death, especially violent or ritual death, assassination, murder, violence
Domains Death, Destruction, Evil, Hatred, Law, Planning, Retribution, Suffering
Favored Weapon Bone Blades (dagger)

BHAAL
Male Swordsage 20, Assassin 25, Soul Reaver 20
LE Medium Outsider (Extraplanar, Evil, Lawful)
Divine Rank 15
Init 53, Supreme Initiative; Senses 15-mile-radius; Listen 119, Sense Motive 119, Spot 119; remote sensing (10 locations), portfolio sense; sense magic
Aura divine aura (Will DC 73); Languages can communicate with any living creature; Dark Speech
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AC 106, touch 88, flat-footed 106 (+1 dodge, +16 deflection, +20 Dex, +15 divine, +16 Wis, +28 natural); improved uncanny dodge; Epic Dodge, Mobility
hp 1,730 (20d8 + 45d6 plus 1,300); fast healing 35; divine shield 23/day (150 hp); DR 35/epic, good and adamantine
Immune ability damage, ability drain, acid, antimagic, banishment, death effects, disease, disintegration, electricity, energy drain, imprisonment, mind-affecting effects, non-lethal damage, paralysis, poison, sleep, stunning, transmutation, and turning
Resist cold 35, sonic 35; SR 79
Fort 83 Ref 89 Will 85; discipline focus (Stone Dragon and Shadow Hand), improved evasion, save vs poison +32
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Speed 60 ft. (12 squares)
Melee Bone blades 108/108/103/98 (3d10 +67 plus 3d6 unholy plus 1 negative level vs good plus 1 Con plus 1 vile/18-20/x2 +32d6 sneak attack plus 6d6 unholy plus 2 negative levels vs good plus 2 vile plus wither limb) or
Melee unarmed strike 108/108/103/98 (3d10 +67 plus 3d6 unholy plus 1 negative level vs good plus 1 Con plus 1 vile/18-20/x2 +32d6 sneak attack plus 6d6 unholy plus 2 negative levels vs good plus 2 vile) or
Melee touch 94 or
Ranged Bone blades 108/108/103/98 (3d10 +67 plus 3d6 unholy plus 1 negative level vs good plus 1 Con plus 1 vile/18-20/x2 +32d6 sneak attack plus 6d6 unholy plus 2 negative levels vs good plus 2 vile plus wither limb) or
Ranged touch 94
Base Atk 58; Grp 72
Atk Options Bounding Assault, Dire Charge, Gloom Razor, Flying Kick, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Combat Reflexes, Improved Grapple, Leap Attack, Lunging Strike, Overwhelming Assault, Power Attack, Rapid Blitz, Shock Trooper, Snap Kick, Spring Attack, Stone Power, Stunning Fist (Fort DC 60), Two Weapon Pounce, Two Weapon Rend; death touch (1/day, kill a creature with less than 65d6 hit points as a melee touch), death attack (Fort DC 67, +15 against studied targets; double death 2/day, sudden death 2/day, vampiric death 2/day; Destructive Attack, Lingering Death), discipline focus (insightful strikes – Stone Dragon and Shadow Hand), strike of vengeance 1/day (one attack with maximum damage against someone that that has harmed Bhaal), smite 1/day (+4 attack, +60 damage), sneak attack +32d6 (Disemboweling Strike, Maiming Strike, Painful Strike, Persistent Attacker, Staggering Strike), suffering touch (1/day, -2 to Str and Dex as a melee touch attack)
Special Actions alter reality, divine blast (31d12 damage, 15 miles) 21/day, power of hate 1/day (+2 profane bonus on attack rolls, saving throws, and Armor Class against one opponent for 1 minute); Adaptive Style, Blinding Speed, Deflect Arrows, Exceptional Deflection, Infinite Deflection, Reflect Arrows, Snatch Arrows
Combat Gear bone blades
Divine Spell-like Abilities (CL 60^th; +1 evil and law spells)
At will – animate dead, antipathy (DC 49), augury, bane (DC 42), banishment (DC 47), bear’s endurance, bestow curse (DC 45), blasphemy (DC 48), cause fear (DC 42), calm emotions (DC 43), clairaudience/clairvoyance, contagion (DC 44), create greater undead, create undead, death knell (DC 43), death ward, deathwatch, desecrate, destruction (DC 48), detect scrying, dictum (DC 48), discern location, disintegrate (DC 48), dispel chaos, dispel good, doom (DC 42), earthquake, enervation, eyebite (DC 48), feeblemind (DC 46), fire shield, forbiddance (DC 47), greater scrying (DC 48), greater teleport, harm (DC 47), heroes’ feast, hold monster (DC 47), horrid wilting (DC 50), implosion (DC 50), inflict critical wounds (DC 45), inflict light wounds (DC 42), magic circle against chaos, magic circle against good, mark of justice, mass inflict light wounds (DC 46), order’s wrath (DC 45), plane shift (DC 46), protection from chaos, protection from good, rage, righteous might, scare (DC 43), shatter (DC 43), shield of faith, shield of law (DC 49), slay living (DC 46), speak with dead (DC 44), spell turning, status, storm of vengeance (DC 50), summon monster IX (evil or lawful creatures only), symbol of pain (DC 49), time stop, unholy aura (DC 49), unholy blight (DC 45), wail of the banshee (DC 50)
Assassin Spells Known (CL 45^th or 60^th vs SR; +1 evil and law spells)
9^th (4/day) – energy drain, imprison soul (DC 51), mass harm (DC 51), superior invisibility.
8^th (6/day) – bodak’s glare (DC 50), mass inflict critical wounds (DC 50), mind blank, screen (DC 50).
7^th (6/day) – finger of death (DC 49), greater harm (DC 49), pulse of hate (DC 49), shadow walk.
6^th (6/day) – arrow of bone (DC 48), illusory pit (DC 48), mislead (DC 48), spectral touch (DC 48).
5^th (6/day) – choking sands (DC 47), ethereal jaunt, friend to foe (DC 47), shadow form.
4^th (8/day) – heart ripper (DC 46), sniper’s eye, unseen strike, vulnerability.
3^rd (8/day) – find the gap, misdirection (DC 45), nondetection, vital strike.
2^nd (8/day) – darkness, pass without trace, smoke stairs, wraithstrike.
1^st (8/day) – blade of blood, critical strike, ebon eyes, shadow double.
Maneuvers and Stances Known (IL 42^nd)
Stances – assassin’s stance (3^rd), blood in the water (1^st), flame’s blessing (1^st), leaping dragon stance (3^rd), shifting defense (5^th), stance of alacrity (8th)
Strikes – ancient mountain hammer† (7^th), bonesplitting strike (4^th), bone crusher (DC 53) (3^rd), bounding assault† (4^th), charging minotaur† (1^st), claw at the moon (2^nd), colossus strike (DC 57) (7^th), death in the dark (DC 49) (7^th), diamond nightmare blade† (8^th), emerald razor† (2^nd), feral death blow (DC 59) (9^th), five shadow creeping enervation strike† (9^th) (DC 51), hamstring attack (DC 57) (7^th), mountain tombstone strike† (9^th), pouncing charge† (5^th), sapphire nightmare blade† (1^st), shadow blade technique (1^st), shadow garrote (DC 46) (3^rd), shadow noose (DC 48) (6^th), swooping dragon strike (7^th)
Boosts – sudden leap† (1^st), dancing mongoose (5^th), raging mongoose† (8^th)
Counters – diamond defense† (8^th)
Other – shadow blink† (8^th)
Disciplines: Desert Wind, Diamond Mind, Iron Heart, Setting Sun, Shadow Hand, Stone Dragon, Tiger Claw
† Readied maneuver
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Abilities Str 50, Dex 50, Con 50, Int 42, Wis 42, Cha 42
SQ AC bonus (Wis), avatar, dual boost 3/day, discipline focus (weapon focus – Shadow Hand and Stone Dragon), divinity, hide in plain sight, immortality, poison use, quick to act +5
Feats Adaptive Style, Bounding Assault, Combat Reflexes, Dark Speech (B), Deflect Arrows, Disemboweling Strike, Dodge, Extend Spell (B), Flying Kick, Gloom Razor, Greater Two Weapon Fighting, Improved Bull Rush, Improved Grapple, Improved Initiative, Improved Natural Attack, Improved Two Weapon Fighting, Improved Unarmed Strike (B), Leap Attack, Lunging Strike, Maiming Strike, Mobility, Overwhelming Assault, Painful Strike, Persistent Attacker, Power Attack, Rapid Blitz, Shadow Blade, Shock Trooper, Snatch Arrows, Snap Kick, Spring Attack, Staggering Strike, Stone Power, Stunning Fist (Fort DC 60), Telling Blow, Two-Weapon Fighting, Two Weapon Pounce, Two Weapon Rend, Vile Deathstrike, Vile Martial Strike, Weapon Focus (discipline)
Epic Feats Blinding Speed, Destructive Attack, Dire Charge, Epic Dodge, Exceptional Deflection, Improved Combat Reflexes, Improved Death Attack (x3), Infinite Deflection, Lingering Death, Perfect Two Weapon Fighting, Reflect Arrows, Superior Initiative
Salient Divine Abilities Alter Form, Annihilating Strike (Fort DC 77 or die; destroy 15,000 cubic feet of matter), Battlesense, Dead Bones (unique salient divine ability), Divine Dodge (65%), Divine Fast Healing, Divine Inspiration (dread, 15 creatures), Divine Sneak Attack, Divine Weapon Focus (dagger), Divine Weapon Specialization (dagger), Free Move, Hand of Death (Fort DC 73 for 25d6 damage), Irresistible Blows (Fort DC 77), Instant Move, Know Death (Will DC 73), Life and Death (Fort DC 73 or die, 300 damage on a successful save), Lord of Murder (unique salient divine ability), Possess Mortal (up to ten, Will DC 73), Shapechange, Supreme Initiative
Skills Balance 132, Bluff 61, Climb 123 (131 ropes), Concentration 123, Decipher Script 71, Diplomacy 71, Disable Device 80, Disguise 81 (83 acting), Escape Artist 85 (93 ropes), Gather Information 107, Heal 91, Hide 123, Intimidate 121, Jump 129, Knowledge (arcana) 66, Knowledge (geography) 76, Knowledge (history) 76, Knowledge (local) 81, Knowledge (nature) 65, Knowledge (the planes) 66, Listen 119, Martial Lore 119 (121 Shadow Hand or Stone Dragon), Move Silently 123, Open Lock 103, Search 99, Sense Motive 119, Sleight of Hand 92, Spot 119, Survival 83 (85 above ground, extraplanar, to avoid getting lost or natural hazards, 91 tracking), Swim 123, Tumble 123, Use Magic Device 99 (101 scrolls), Use Rope 123 (127 binds)
Possessions bone blades
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Discipline Focus (Ex) Bhaal can focus his training to take advantage of up to his disciplines’ fighting style. This focus manifests in the following ways:
Weapon Focus: Bhaal has the benefit of the Weapon Focus feat for weapons associated with the chosen discipline.
Insightful Strikes: Bhaal can add his Wisdom modifier as a bonus on damage rolls whenever he executes a strike from the Shadow Hand and Stone Dragon schools.
Defensive Stance: Bhaal gains a +2 bonus on saving throws whenever he adopts a stance from the Shadow Hand and Stone Dragon schools.
Bhaal also gains a +2 bonus on Martial Lore checks made regarding a maneuver in disciplines in which he has discipline focus.
Dead Bones (unique salient divine ability) Bhaal has honed his skills at torture to such a degree that he can turn his victims’ own bodies against them with a single strike, rending bone from flesh with but a thought.
Fifteen times per day, Bhaal can force up to 15 creatures to which he has dealt hit point damage to succeed at a Fortitude save (DC 77) or die as their bones are violently torn out of their bodies in a spray of jagged shards. All creatures within 15 feet must succeed at a Reflex save for half damage or be rent apart by the splinters, suffering 15d6 vile damage and 15d6 piercing damage. Creatures that die from the damage suffer the same fate as the original victims.
At will, Bhaal can animate these bone splinters into a halo of 3d10 blades that orbit a point of his choice (though usually his own body) and launch them as ranged touch attacks with a range of 150 feet. He can launch up to 3 blades per round as an iterative attack, and each blade is treated as one of his bone blades as a ranged weapon. Any creature that dies suffers the effect of Dead Bones as detailed above.
Alternatively, the Lord of Murder can turn the bone splinters into a barrier of magical grinding bone that functions as a blade barrier dealing 30d6 damage, half of which is vile damage. The barrier can be attacked and otherwise has all the properties of a wall of bones. Bhaal can make the barrier permanent if he desires, and creatures that die either from the damage or from the initial effect of Dead Bones cannot be raised or resurrected until the barrier is destroyed. (CL 65^th).
Divinity Bhaal is an embodiment of ancient divine power. As such, reality is his to shape as he sees fit.
Alter Reality: Bhaal may alter reality within the bounds of his portfolio. This functions as a wish spell that requires no XP or material cost. The limits of this ability are fully described in Deities and Demigods. He can additionally alter his size from Fine to Colossal and may additionally alter up to 100 pounds of objects in the same manner.
Avatar: Bhaal can have up to ten avatars at any given time. The Lord of Murder prefers to manifest in urban settings as the Slayer, a male, humanoid corpse with a feral face and ivory skin inset with deep lacerations that flow with black ichor. In rural areas, he manifests as the Ravager, a giant of a man over 30 feet tall, with long, tough sinews, a flowing beard and mane of hair, eyes that glow with the flames of Gehenna, a face twisted in a grimace of supernatural hatred, and two 7-foot-long curved horns protruding from his forehead.
Divine Blast: Bhaal can create a ray of divine power that extends for up to 15 miles, dealing up to 31d12 points of damage, as a ranged touch attack with no saving throw. Bhaal can unleash a divine blast 19 times per day, and alter the visual, auditory and sensation-based qualities of his divine blast as he desires. Bhaal’s divine blasts generally take the form of blasts of bloody fire carrying the whiff of brimstone.
Divine Shield: As a free action 23 times per day, Bhaal can create a shield that lasts 10 minutes and stops 150 points of damage from attacks. Once the shield stops that much damage, it collapses. Any damage Bhaal is naturally immune to does not count towards the shield’s limits.
Double Death (Ex) Twice per day, Bhaal may declare one death attack to be a double death attack. When he makes the death attack, the victim must make two saving throws to survive rather than just one.
Dual Boost (Ex) Bhaal can use two boost maneuvers simultaneously. Whenever he initiates a boost maneuver, he can also initiate any other boost maneuver that he knows as a free action. Both boosts he initiates are expended normally. He can use this ability three times per day.
Lord of Murder (unique salient divine ability) Death is Bhaal’s kingdom, but assassination is his trade. Murder is his art and his gift, and he has honed his skills at bringing death to truly terrifying heights. This grants Bhaal the following boons:
Enhanced Spellcasting: Bhaal continues progressing his assassin spells up till 9^th level, although he can only select spells from the Dread Necromancer spell list and the illusion and necromancy schools in addition to the spells allowed by his Assassin and Soulreaver levels.
Killer Instinct: 15 times per day, Bhaal can make a death attack against a foe without studying the foe beforehand. Every attack of opportunity he makes resolves as a death attack.
Profiling: Bhaal can study a target as a move or swift action. He gains a +15 bonus on Bluff, Listen, Search, Spot and Survival checks attempted against that opponent, and a +15 bonus on weapon attack and damage rolls against it as well as to the DCs of all Assassin and Soulreaver abilities against that target, and automatically confirms all critical threats against his studied targets. He can maintain these bonuses against 15 opponents at a time; these bonuses remain in effect until either the opponent is dead or he studies a new target. When Bhaal deals sneak attack damage to a target, he can study that target as an immediate action.
Trained Killer: Bhaal uses his character level to determine the effectiveness of his assassin class abilities. This also grants him 10 virtual bonus feats in addition to those already gained from his divine rank and his class levels.
Quick to Act (Ex) Bhaal has a +5 bonus on initiative checks.
Sense Magic (Su) Bhaal can spend 10 minutes focusing upon a weapon or suit of armor. If he succeeds on a level check (DC 10 + the caster level of the weapon or armor), he can identify the properties of that item, including its enhancement bonus and special abilities. This ability does not reveal the properties of artifacts or legacy weapons, though it does indicate that such items are significantly powerful.
Sudden Death (Ex) Twice per day, Bhaal can draw on unholy energies to strike with blinding speed with a death attack. This death attack is a full-round action, but it does not require him to spend 3 rounds studying his victim; the attack must still be a sneak attack, however.
Vampiric Death (Su) Bhaal may declare a single death attack to be a vampiric death attack, up to twice per day. If the death attack successfully slays the victim, he absorbs a tiny portion of the departing soul's life energies and gains a +6 profane bonus to his Strength and Constitution and +6d6 temporary hit points for the next hour. This cannot be combined with the double death ability.
Possessions
Bhaal wields the bone blades, a set of bone daggers he can conjure at will as melee weapons or as ranged weapons. The bone blades are +10 ghost strike keen speed wounding daggers of ki focus, martial discipline and unholy power when wielded as melee weapons and +10 ghost strike keen speed wounding daggers of distant shot, triple throwing and unholy power as ranged weapons. On a critical strike, the victim is afflicted with wither limb. Bhaal’s weapons are extensions of his being and thus are treated as unarmed strikes when it would be most advantageous and confer their weapon bonuses and special abilities to his unarmed strikes. (CL 65^th)

Operation: Fate Order Mission Report:
XX.XX.XXXX – XX.XX.XXXX
On the [REDACTED] of [REDACTED] the united Jumper groups of Yang Xiao Long (Remnant Designation [REDACTED]) and Eve Taurus von Hresvelg (Remnant Designation Unknown) went into a united Operation against the Multiverse spanning Anti Jumpchain terrorist cell known as the Chainbreakers. Lead by Gorr the Godbutcher, the groups latest action was to stop the emergence of Jumpers from the Fate/Nasuverse. The benefactor identified with these attempted Chainstarting events was Alaya, the Human Order trying to prepare against the TYPE Invasion.
The way by which Alaya intended to start Chains was specialized Holy Grail imitations, connected to the CP force and boosting magical power comparable to Goetias Ars Nova. The chosen servants were supposed to come across them and make the choice to Jump themselves.
10 Potential Jumpers have been located and groups send to judge how beneficial Alayas chosen would be as a Jumper and if needed defend them from Chainbreaker attacks. Lethal force is not authorized.
Reports:
1: Garden of Avalon
Operative: Jaune
Jumper Emergent: Artoria Pendragon
Chainbreaker: Empress of Mankind
Mission Success
Mission History:
Jaune Arc, in memory of his mentor Pyhrra Nikos and what he wanted to be so long ago, chose the Legend Jump with a connection to the King of Knights. His purchases allowed him to be a Knight unmatched even by Lancelot and Gawain together, wielding his own version of Excalibur.
Upon entering the Jump he departed to Artoria’s castle, at the same time as the resident chainbreaker. Said chainbreaker has been identified as a vastly less powerful and genderbend version of the God Emperor of Mankind.
NOTE: If said original Warhammer 40K universe had the Emperor naturally as a woman or if a Jumper had something to do with it is not known. It is also possible the Empress chose to take this form to manipulate Artoria better.
Artoria had heard about the Grail from Merlin and it was believed that with its power Camelot could be saved from the Quantum lock, stopping its destined fall. The Empress sought to manipulate Artoria into joining the Chainbreakers and surrendering the Grail where Jaune had intervened. On Artoria’s suggestion both Jaune and the Empress were allowed to make their case in a debate.
Reportedly the Empress doomed herself for a loss when she said ‘I know I am right’ upon which Jaune quickly countered that this rhetoric was exactly why she was destined too fail, laser focus on ones own belief to be worthy ultimately only running the risk of suffering and destroying yourself and those around you.
Touched by Jaunes honesty, Artoria chose his side. The Empress proceeded to instantly choose the route of Violence rather than risk Artoria becoming a Jumper, having used psyker powers to previously steal Avalon. Her life was saved by Mordred jumping in between the two of them.
NOTE: Mordred was not known to be the child of Morgan and Artoria and still hiding beneath her helmet.
The moment of surprise wasted, the Knights of the Round Table jumped the Empress, who was ultimately banished by both Jaune and Artoria unsealing all 13 Seals on Excalibur.
NOTE: The fact that the Empress seemed to be a valid target for all restrictions placed on Excalibur (among them including that the battle must be defending the Human Order and that The battle must not be against Humanity) shows worrying implications about the Empress current state of mind and nature.
Upon the Empress banishment Mordred was left comatose, with Artoria and Jaune alongside Galahad departing to retrieve the Grail to both save her life and save Camelot, by Artoria taking it with her along her own chain. Jaune has refused to talk about the events of their journey in detail but mentioned that Morgan stood in their way and Artoria discovered Mordreds true identity.
Upon returning to Camelot, without Galahad, Mordred was healed and preparations made to initiate the first Jump.
NOTE: Mordred had turned down being one of Artorias companions after the two had a heart to heart, unsure of her supposed destiny after Artoria explained why she didn’t want her to become a King but still accepted her. She was last seen wielding Rhongomyniad and departing on good terms as Artoria started the Jump.
Jaune Arc himself, despite his mission being successful, remained in fate a while longer, now an Agent of the counterforce. He would be summoned in future confrontations in the Fate world labelled as ‘The Rusted Knight’.
2: Baba Yaga
Operative: Eve and her companions
Jumper Emergent: Ivan the Terrible
Chainbreaker: Artoria Pendragon
Mission Partial Success
Mission History:
Eve Taurus von Hresvelgr alongside her companions resolved to tackle one of the locations as a group. Due to its unique circumstances, a Russia lost in an Eternal Blizzard under rule of a mutated Ivan the Terrible, it seems this approach was necessary to have any chance of success. The Grail had already been found by Ivans forces, however the mentally shattered Tyrant could not figure out how to use the Grail, hoping to instead of departing on a chain use it to stop the Blizzard and neverending Ice Age.
Misunderstanding Eves intentions Ivan ordered them to be hunted down. Blade Wolf remaining with Mordred in the city undercover whereas Eve, Edelgard, Naofumi, Raphtalia and Shadow investigated an uprising among the various villages.
This uprising was due to the chainbreaker Artoria Pendragon trying to rebel against the Tyrant and retrieve the Grail.
NOTE: Artoria was the only character native from Fate to be a part of the Chainbreakers. Why she chose to be a part of this Jump when her country of Brittain was a target as well is unclear.
NOTE: Eves Mordred, upon discovering the identity of the Chainbreaker forsook peaceful options in interacting with her.
A three way war broke out between Eves group Artorias rebellion and Ivans forces. In the climactic final fight, Ivan was crippled and finally talked down enough to understand what the Grail can do. Ivan, seeing himself as undeserving of what Jumpchain offered, requested that the Grail instead be used to give his world a chance of survival. Abiding by his wish, Shadow and Eve used chaos Control to tap into the Grails reserves and used it to restore the world.
Artoria, satisfied that Ivan would not be a Jumper and heavily wounded from the fight, tried to extract herself only to be stopped by Eves own Mordred, also heavily wounded. Father and son from different worlds duelled, ending with Mordred succeeding in striking down Artoria and impaling her with her own Rhongomyniad lance.
It was at this moment that Artoria was reported to be smiling, baffling Mordred as she explained her own past. Her Jumper sided with Morgan le Fay and was going to bring down Camelot. Using corruptive Perks he was able to sway all the Knights of the Roundtable, except Mordred who was always meant to be a hidden Weapon. Going against her indoctrination, Mordred sided with Artoria and died to keep Artoria safe before Gorr and Weiss arrived.
Artoria apologized to her son for whatever she suffered by her hands, before passing out. When the others came, they found Mordred desperately trying to keep Artoria alive.
NOTE: Artoria is reported as being in a coma but is expected to make a full recovery, All Black separated from her body.

3: Nirvana Yuga
Operative: Sun and Leone
Jumper Emergent: Arjuna
Chainbreaker: Sonic
Mission Succesrate unclear
Mission History:
Sun and Leone entered one of the strongest and most dangerous periods and locations of Fate history. Ancient india was full with war, bloodshed and demons but none would be as dangerous as an up and coming Godking. Already being in possession of the Grail, he held of on using it until he absorbed every deity of the Indian pantheon.
Something happened with the Hero named Arjuna that made him desire complete power by absorbing the abilities of other deities. By the time Sun and Leone realized what was happening deities fell one after another. This was when they were saved by the rampaging Arjuna by the resident Chainbreaker: Sonic the Hedgehog.
Having previously saved Karna from Arjuna, Sonic proposed working together and protect the Multiverse and its freedom from Arjunas rapidly growing obsessive and oppressive control. Seeing that this potential Jumper could cause more harm than good, Sun and Leone agreed on the one of a kind teamwork.
Using Sonics powers of Chaos Control, Speedster powers and demonic essence, Suns enlightenment, Leones items (among others Brahmastra, the Beasts Crown as well as Karrvacha and Kundala) and Karnas own return to snap Arjuna out of his ‘perfect’ mindset, the alliance managed to defeat Arjuna, free the divine spirits and give him a semblance of peace in death.
Sun and Leone retrieved the Grail and gave it to Karna so he may become a Jumper instead. The Hero of Charity instead gave it to Sonic when the Hedgehog politely asked.
NOTE: Although the world was saved and Sonic proved to be the most cooperative Chainbreaker by FAR, no Jumper managed to go on a chain and the Grail was lost. Sun and Leone themselves are unclear if they could call it a success or failure.

4: Land of Shadows
Operative: Slayer and Daisy
Jumper Emergent: Scathach
Chainbreaker: Guts
Mission Success
Mission History:
The Slayer and his Pet Rabbit turned Mobian turned daughter Daisy arrived in the Land of Shadows. They quickly managed to identify Scathach as the most likely person to qualify for a Chainbreaker target. And indeed Scathach had already gained the specialized Grail. Curious about its nature, when Daisy revealed its power, Scathach was intrigued and hoped to encounter worthy opponents during her own future chain, perhaps one who can give her a true fight to the death.
Upon being warned that a Chainbreaker would come for her, Scathach looked excited, opting to delay her Chainstarting event until she fought the Chainbreaker. Scathach also decided to train both the Slayer and Daisy in the meantime.
A few months later a man in black, wielding a sword more akin to a raw heap of iron, slaughtered hs way through the Land of Shadows. Scathach greeted him warmly and accepted his challenge of a duel. Slayer and Daisy stayed on the sidelines by her request.
Scathach and Guts were evenly matched throughout the entirety of the fight and battled for days with no break. However seemingly reacting to a potential defeat, Guts transformed. What was first expected to be the Berserker Armor soon turned out to be instead an Apostel transformation.
Guts Apostel Form
Upon being asked to explain what was happening, Guts angrily remarked that this was the result of his Jumper encounter. Desperate to defeat Griffith, his Jumper forcefully made Guts undergo Ascension into an Apostel that could kill the combined Godhand, using the souls of Casca, Puck, Isidro, Farnese, Serpico, Schierke, and many others.
While this transformation allowed Guts to kill the Godhand, it was impossible for the Jumper to retrieve the Souls again, leaving Guts eternally distant from those closest to him. He killed his Jumper himself as a final act of avenging his companions before being found by Gorr and Weiss.
Scathach, deeply saddened by what she was hearing, was reported to fight differently from there on, not allowing herself to be slain by a Monster and devoted to ending Guts misery. The following fight laster 12 hours before Guts went for the killing blow against a severely injured Scathach. At this point the Slayer entered the fight himself, duelling Guts for another 24 hours. Finally they managed to defeat Guts and calm him down enough for Daisy to make him a deal. If they can find a way to retrieve his companions from his soul and Apostel form, he would seize to be a chainbreaker.
The remainder of the Jump was spent trying to locate various gods and divinities, killing Monsters and experimenting with various Rune magics. Upon using Scathachs grail in a complicated ritual, Guts was fially reunited with at first casca and than the rest of his companions. Guts was last scene retiring in the peaceful Norse nature alongside his loved ones, parting with Slayer, Daisy and Scathach in mutual respect.
Scathach herself opted to, instead of becoming a Jumper herself, accompany Slayer and the person he followed as an additional companion.
According to Daisy, she is now referred to as her mother.
5: Land of the Rising Sun
Operative: Yorha
Jumper Emergent: Amakusa Shirou
Chainbreaker: Butcher
Mission Partial Success
Mission History:
The Androids of Yorha have over time become an even more elite group of soldiers than their creator ever thought they could be. Using their united purchases from Rising Sun, they furthermore improved their capability based on unity and teamwork. Each one is a mechanized ninja with physical capabilities of Greek machine heroes and an expert in the Ninja arts. Using a certain purchase they can summon a darkness the more of them are united and as long as one of them lives the others will eventually return due to their circumstances. Albeit they ended up in the sights of Youkai and among other things had to deal with aggressive insects and fearsome swallows.
The target was found quickly in Amakusa Shirou, in the middle of his rebellion against the tyrants wanting to wipe out his faith. After analysing the situation the three Yorha Units in charge, 2B, 9S and A2, decided to support Amakusa in his goals and prevented what was supposed to be their canonical end. Hearing of the Grail, first found by the Edo Shogunate, Amakusa wanted to use its power to create a ‘Land without Evil’ upon departing this world with his people. In an infiltraton A2 managed to get the Grail, but was surprised by the chainbreaker. This one was labelled as William ‘Billy’ Butcher. Fighting over it, the Grail was shattered as A2 retreated, now only possessing 4 out of 7 needed shards,
Plans were made to create a portion of the country where they could practice their faith without fear and to find the 4 remaining pieces again when the Chainbreaker attacked.
Butcher massacred his way through Amakusas army, even Yohra units unable to match him.
NOTE: 9S theorized that through some means Butcher has the effects of a Perk that allows you to ignore numerical disadvantage. Furthermore it is not known of the slaughter of Amakusas man was something ordered by Gorr as it would go against the Chainbreakers modus operandi.
Butcher confronted Amakusa directly, beating him within an inch of his life before the remaining Yorha units (now less than two dozen from their original 200) managed to evacuate him. From what was shared, Butcher was not content simply killing Amakusa but also wanted to break his faith, most likely because of his own experiences with Christianity and corrupt heroes.
Quotes among others included: “The only man in the sky… laughs at your suffering.”
Amakusa, still clinging to his faith, was deeply impacted by the massacre. It was only due to the support of 2B that he was able to move onward, hearing about Yorhas own story of eternal battle before they became companions.
Hunted by Butcher, the remaining Yorha hetched a plan. Implanting one of the Grail shards into Amakusa and the rest inside of them, they knew Butcher was keeping the rest on his person. Using Genjutsu, the trinity of leaders was able to trick Butcher into losing his Grailshards, their own upon defeat going to Amakusa who was able to use the complete Grail to go on his Jump. With the Bunkers systems, his dead man were able to come along as followers in empty android bodies.
Butcher was last seen trying to track down the last members of Yorha before he was called back, departing with visible rage and frustration.
6: Vive la France
Operative: Minako, Aigis
Jumper Emergent: Jeanne D’arc Alter
Chainbreaker: Cynthia
Mission Success
Mission History:
Minako and Aigis were recruited from Persona 3 together and have chosen to challenge Vive la France together as well. The former becoming a Saint and the later becoming a Knight, they soon discovered this variant of France to be much different. Jeanne D’arc, famously a merciful woman of god, was instead present in an altered state, commanding tamed dragons to strike down enemies of France violently. This seemed to have happened after Jeanne alter begged to be saved from the flames of her own execution and was barely saved by a dragon. She turned her wrath both on the people who wanted her dead and the enemies she already made.
Minako and Aigis were first to retrieve the Grail, trying to calm Jeanne Alter down and bring the saints well known mercy back.
At the same time the Pokemon Trainer Cynthia, with an army of Pokemon, showed up and challenged the Dragon Witchs rule.
As later conversations showed Cynthia became a chainbreaker after a Jumper tried to enslave the Pokemon race as a whole, abusing them and experimenting on any who were remaining. This cruelty enraged Cynthia who agreed to aid Gorr under the belief that Jumpers could not value any life but their own. Although the experiments ended up uplifting the human race, it was still deemed unacceptable by Cynthia to have the only remaining Pokemon that weren’t wiped out essentially left as Servitors or lobotomized weapons of war.
Wielding All Black enhanced Pokemon teams she managed to overpower Jeanne Alter, who once again begged to be saved and had Minako and Aigis respond to her call. The battle ended when Aigis took a lethal blow meant for Minako at the same time as Jeanne Alters first dragon suffered a fatal blow from Garchomps attacks.
Stunned by the sacrifice and even more so by Minakos and Jeanne Alters grief of loss, Cynthia stopped the fight and retrieved two Phoenix Downs to be used on the fallen. Although peaceful discussion afterwards were tense, Cynthia ultimately surrendered as long as Jeanne Alter would never ever abuse her dragons. Jeanne agreed and used the Grail to become a Jumper, departing to parts unknown as she believed this world no longer was meant for her.
Minako and Aigis offered to find a new World for Cynthia to go to. Cynthia agreed and cut her link from the Chainbreakers as long as her Pokemon could go with her.

7: Empires of Antiquity
Operative: Zero and Asriel
Jumper Emergent: Nero
Chainbreaker: Miguel
Mission Fail
Mission History:
Zero and Asriel arrived in The city of Rome during the reign of Nero. A figure of much controversy, this Nero was close to approaching a breaking point between either dying or becoming an individual known as Beast VI. Zero, who has in the past allowed Ultron to become a force for good, and Asriel, who has his own experiences regarding loss of morality and corruption, tried to bring her back from her madness as well as stop various atrocities that turned out because of Rome.
That was when they discovered their Chainbreaker, Miguel O’hara or also known as Spiderman 2099, who refused to let them alter the timeline and risk this entire world being ‘pruned’.
NOTE: When angrily asked by Asriel if he likes what he does, Miguel bluntly said he hates himself.
Both Zero and Asriel do not wish to discuss in depth what happened in Rome but consider the mission as a whole a complete and utter failure with Miguel retrieving the Grail himself and Nero dying alone and left with her madness and regrets.

8: God Save the Queen
Operative: Neo and Tecora
Jumper Emergent: ???
Chainbreaker: Weiss Schnee
Mission Fail
Mission History:
Tecora and Neo were among the strangest companions of Yangs group. Tecora, being a different personality of Yang altogether and Neo being an attempt by Adam to create the perfect Assassin to kill Yang so she could have Roman Torchwick back. After some early troubles with Neo and because of Tecoras immediate love towards the girl the two ended up becoming a surprisingly terrifying duo in combat.
NOTE: its theorized that the reason Tecora became so enarmored with Neo was because of Neo’s own status as someone with split personalities.
The duo became a terrifying pair of Pirates, Tecora surpassing even Francis Drake with what should be impossible being possible by her and Neo being even more lethal than Jack the Ripper could be. They went on various adventures before finally discovering the ‘Race for the Grail’. A treasure hunt for the Grail that the greatest pirates in the world sought to claim. While the belief was that it would merely grant wishes, Tecora and Neo knew this was the Grail they were seeking and that could start a chain.
After at first engaging in some fun bouts of combat, trying to gauge who was most worthy of being a Jumper, all racers arrived at the Island.
Than all of a sudden a violent blizzard froze the very ocean from shore to shore as the Chainbreaker of this mission made herself known. Weiss Schnee.
Using the moment of surprise she killed half the racers for the Grail. Tecora and Neo were overwhelmed with various summons.
NOTE: The summons Weiss unleashed were among other things the Remnant Brother Gods, DC’s Doomsday and various other individuals that are rumoured to be Jumpers she killed.
Tecora and Neo were unable to secure the Grail or rescue any of the other Pirates chasing for it. After conversing with Tecora, seeing her as a ‘violation’ embodying her friend Yang and seeing Neo as ‘tea pouring scum’ that outstayed her welcome, Weiss tried to kill her only to be barely stopped by the Rusted Knight and Chara, who had appeared in response to an emergency summon.
Weiss departed leaving Tecora and Neo with nothing but their life.
NOTE: This was the first time in the entirety of Yangs chain that Tecora suffered a loss.
NOTE: Neo does not know what Weiss meant with Tea pouring scum. It is possible that Weiss blames her for something she was going to do had Remnant not been invaded by Adam.

9: Strange New World
Operative: Ironwood and Chara
Jumper Emergent: Tesla/Edison
Chainbreaker: Syndrome
Mission Success
Mission History:
General James Ironwood and Chara arrived in perhaps the most modern variation of Fate.
NOTE: Thanks to using her purchases as a Strange Being Chara was able to appear at different points in other Fate Legends Operations, traveling through the various timelines it seems.
The unlikely duo consisting of an Eldritch powered child and the skilled general encountered Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison separately and were convinced of their nature as a chosen Jumper by Alaya. A Chainbreaker could not be found, instead the two trying to mediate between the geniuses.
It was than that the resident Chainbreaker, identified as the Incredibles Villains Syndrome, send out a message. Having kidnapped Helena Blavatsky, Tesla and Edison were supposed to journey to Nomanisanisland, located in the Pacific if they wanted to rescue her. The two geniuses in a rare display of unity departed, with Ironwood and Chara following closely, infiltrating the Island and workin against Syndrome in the background, wanting to discover his true goals.
As was later revealed, Syndrome had already managed to steal the Grail for himself and for an unknown project of the Chainbreakers wanted the trio of scientific or magical geniuses to study it for him, doing so in a series of challenging trials against his creations. Each one perfected his work more and more to the point the trio was faced with a Grail Powered Omnidroid.
The Omnidroid came close to killing all three geniuses until Chara managed to extract the Grail, Ironwood defeat it with skilled shots and Syndrome was forced to retreat, not before attempting to blow up the whole island with them.
Thanks to Helena and a strange disk they managed to escape with the Grail intact. The trio after some squabbling decided to go on a chain all together, Tesla and Edison locked in an eternal contest about whose inventions would benefit humanity across the Multiverse more and Helena resolving to discover the secrets of all magic and keeping an eye on them.

10: Oasis of Fantasy
Operative: Yang and Blake
Jumper Emergent: Gilgamesh
Chainbreaker: Issei Hyodou
Mission Success
Mission History:
Yang and Blake as the most seasoned fighters entered the most ancient time period with perhaps the most dangers. As the equals of Gilgamesh and Enkidu respectively (in Blakes case also receiving Perks to match the First Hassan) the two ventured the world trying to locate the Grail and gather intel. Over the course of which they ended up getting the attention of the Gods for better and for worse (particularly that of two certain goddesses).
Discovering one third of a broken Grail, the duo finally resolved to journey to Uruk. The Epic of Gilgamesh had been fully at play, Enkidu and Gilgamesh meeting and slowly transforming the King of Heroes into a wise ruler for his people.
When Yang and Blake arrived Uruk was locked in war with forces of the Chainbreaker in question, Issei Hyoudou. The Chainbreakers first fight with Gilgamesh, not believing humanities oldest bully to be worthy of going on a chain, ended with the splitting of the Grail into three parts. One now wielded by each group. This attack happened in response to Gilgamesh announcing he would take his kingdom on a chain but delaying doing so due to his arrogance. Furthermore, the first battle ended with Enkidu being mysteriously poisoned by All Black, left comatose to Gilgamesh’s grief.
The battle Uruk was facing was deemed as a matter the Gods would, due to some of Gilgameshs own affronts, stay neutral in. Ishtar in particular seemed amused to such a degree that she had not yet unleashed the Bull of Heaven.
Isseis army consisted of Offspring of the dormant laying Tiamat further enhanced with offsprings of All Black and obeying his orders. It is suspected he got this power through combining Boosted Gear with other OOC abilities.
Yang and Blake intervened in a direct battle, managing to separate Issei from All Black infection. Issei still continued to fight and merge back with the symbiote of his own will, proving that All Black was not corrupting their mental state.
Issei was still eventually overwhelmed and had to flee. Still locked in a stalemate in the war with the Red Dragon Emperor, while still wanting to resolve things in a peaceful way, the pair of Huntresses introduced themselves to Gilgamesh proper. With some experimentation, Enkidu was awoken by using the two shards of the Grail as a power source, though considerably weakened. Upon further reflection, it was decided to get the help of the so far neutral Gods. For that end Yang and Blake were send out by Gilgamesh to negotiate.
NOTE: During meetings with Ishtar it was stated the Goddess had already met Issei first before any of them and was insulted that he looked utterly unfazed by her beauty. This lack of a reaction to a beautiful woman was considered alarming by the Jumper and Companion.
Through carefully navigating the mess that was divine emotions, Yang and Blake were eventually able to convince Ishtar and Ereshkigal to side with Uruk, leading for rapid advancements in the war against Tiamats offspring from all sides.
It was at this point that Issei had on orders of Gorr awoken Tiamat herself, now corrupted with All Black. It appears that due to both Tiamats and Isseis desire to be loved they managed to connect as she lay dreaming.
NOTE: Issei insisted this to be a purely parent to son version of love and was offended when someone implied he was attracted to her.
Battling the Mother of Genesis, Yang forced a duel between herself and Issei as the rest were trying to delay Tiamat. After defeating him Yang demanded to know who he was doing all of this for. Upon Issei replying that he was doing it for his loved ones, Yang demanded to know when was the last time he even bothered to see them. The Huntress told him, that if he really was doing this for his loved ones, he would be with them now and they could have together tried to heal from what a Jumper had done to them.
Issei was silent upon that rebuttal, eventually showing a degree of self hatred for himself for not being strong enough and asking Yang if the Jumper had been correct, if he HAD been unworthy of Boosted Gear and his chances. Yang countered that worthiness only comes in response to who you are and what you do and urged him to truly read Tiamats mind and what she was truly thinking.
Upon discovering the depths of Tiamats grief and madness, not wanting another loved one to suffer, he agreed to help stop her as long as Yang could promise to save her.
In the concluding battle, Tiamat was freed from both All Black, having grown more violent and independent in contrast to the shard of Gorrs symbiote Issei was with, and her insanity. Yang and Blake promised to send them both to Isseis original world so that Tiamat could be free from her situation and Issei try to heal, as well as having their own group on speed dial if anyone ever WERE to threaten his home again.
Gilgamesh, for his part humbled by the experiences and having truly come into being a worthy King of Heroes, was still challenged to one final battle by Issei. Gilgamesh was afterwards given the final shard of Issei.
NOTE: Issei seems to have obtained something akin to Fay Eyes allowing him to see lies or deceptions. Realizing Gilgamesh truly wouldn’t become the kind of Jumper that hurt him, he decided to let him go.
With Issei and Tiamat departing and Gilgamesh taking Enkidu and Uruk with him on a chain, Yang and Blake left behind to oversee if any last Chainbreaker influence remained.
…This was when Weiss and Gorr themselves had appeared, having surveiled the various chainbreaker operations in every Jump and time period.
Overwhelming them with the element of surprise… Yang was lost in a dimensional vortex summoned by the Godbutcher, him and Weiss leaving Blake behind.
Final Mission Results
Chainbreakers Redeemed: Issei, Guts, Artoria, Cynthia (4/10 Jumps)
Jumpers starting their chain: Tesla, Edison, Helena, Artoria and Camelot, Gilgamesh and Uruk, Amakusa Shiro, Jeanne Alter (5/10 Jumps)
Potential Jumper casualties: the 7 Pirates (Full list in Appendix: God Save the Queen), Nero, Arjuna, Ivan (5/10 Jumps)
Holy Grails gained by the Chainbreakers: 3
Missing Allies: Yang
Finishing the last bit of the mission report, Blake closed her eyes, looking up at the stars outside of the Bunker.
“…Where did you take her?” Blake asked Weiss, wondering if her former friend would hear her.

Hi there,
Maybe I am being silly and missing something.
We are based in the UK. When we buy brand new laptops, we assign them an autopilot profile by adding the entra device to a group and then syncing.
What this means, however, is that the first part of the OOBE on the first boot is not how we have customised it, as the autopilot profile is only received once you connect to the internet and press next.
This presents a problem, as the language settings only allow for English (United States) on brand new devices from DELL.
We either have to wipe them after joining to internet, which adds English United Kingdom to the OOBE on wipe, or, have to change the language setting as soon as we log in, which is prone to the technician forgetting etc. (Must be done as soon as the user is logged in as we lock the language settings).
We used the language settings in powershell to deploy a script to users that installs UK, sets UK as system language, and then uninstalls US. Unfortunately, for existing laptops, once the script was run after reboot Explorer.exe would completely break, file Explorer wasn't usable and some people lost taskbars. This was only fixable by updating. Interestingly this didn't affect brand new devices, but yeah this isn't really an option.
Has anyone else tackled this differently?
Cheers

Hi, here's a new script !
Here's the script that started this story, it's like part 1 of this script : Your Demon Familiar Keeps Your Suitors Away
Of course, filling in this part 1 first is not mandatory, but it gives more context .
For this script, I'm referring to the Listener as a witch, but of course if you're using the M4A and M4M tags, you can use the terms mage (neutral) and wizard. Same for pronouns.
------
~First of all, some information about the script :~
I don't mind monetization, but I'd like to be credited.
If certain elements written in the script cause problems during recording, I'm fine with minor adjustments (rephrasing sentences, adding reactions), as long as they preserve the original meaning of the script. All actions involving sound additions (noises, music, etc.) are not obligatory, but they can contribute to immersion in the story. The important thing is that the listener understands what's going on.
Also : English is not my first language, so don't hesitate to let me know if the script contains any errors, either in the writing or in the construction of the story.
-----
Context :
You're a witch respected throughout the kingdom. It may seem surprising, but you help the royal family with your powers and healing potions. To thank you, the king has decided to invite you to a ball. Perhaps it was more the idea of his son, the Prince, who seems interested in you. Your Familiar, on the other hand, has no intention of letting the heir to the throne get too close to you. Let's hope the party goes off without a hitch.
Familiar = Ciaran Prince = Alaric
But you can of course change the names as you like.
In this audio, it's a ball with a dance where people change partners as the music plays. Here, the Listener will switch between the Prince and the Familiar in the following order: Familiar, Prince, Familiar, Prince. The changes/transitions between the two characters must be fluid. Imagine that the dance is very fast.
Estimated audio length : 8-15 min (maybe 20min at most)
-----
[Listener and Familiar arrive at the outer gate of the castle, on their way to the ball]
Familiar : Ugh, I really hate this costume. I feel too covered up, like I'm confined.
Familiar : How do humans stand this ? I feel ridiculous.
(...)

Familiar : You find me elegant like this ?
Familiar : Well, maybe this outfit isn't so bad after all...
(…)

Familiar (embarrassed) : You, too, look really charming in that attire...
[They walk]
Familiar : Well, we'd better hurry up and get inside ; the ball will start soon.

[Palace guards approach]
Familiar : Guards... Do you think they've come to welcome us ?
[The guards look aggressive]

Familiar : Well, judging by the weapons they're carrying, it seems they're not here to chat.
Familiar : Stay behind me ; it's dangerous.
[The guards seem unwilling to let them pass, swords clashing]

Familiar : Hey, hey, let's calm down ! We have invitations.
Familiar (annoyed) : Looks like you don't know who you're dealing with. This person is the most influential witch in the kingdom. I suggest you step back if you don't want to end up as toads.
(…)

Familiar (addressing Listener again) : I told you coming here was a bad idea.
Familiar (sarcastic) : They're not exactly eager to see us join their little party.
(…)

Prince : Well, I was wondering what all the commotion was about ! Gentlemen, let these people pass ; she is a distinguished guest.
Prince : After all, she's none other than the famous Mist Witch !
[Familiar clears his throat, indicating his presence]

Prince (trying to hide his disappointment) : Oh, I see you didn't come alone.
Prince (slightly provocatively) : Of course, you're accompanied by your familiar... Kieran, isn't it ?
Familiar (interrupting almost) : It's Ciaran.
Familiar (on the difference) : And I suggest you remember that because if you invite her, you'll be seeing a lot of me.
(…)

Prince (smiling but annoyed) : Pleased to meet you. I am Prince Alaric, although I think you probably already knew that, given the... relationship that the witch and I share.
Prince (calm again) : Well, don't just stand there, come in. The ball is about to begin.
[They walk, door noise]
(...)

Familiar (whispering) : What an arrogant man. How dare he talk about a "relationship" with you ?
Familiar (irritated) : I really can't stand him.
(...)
(Listener responds)

Familiar : I know, I need to stay calm. I don't want to undo all the efforts you've made to achieve the fame you have today.
Familiar (speaking even lower) : But if he starts getting too close to you, I'll have to make him eat his crown.
[They enter the ballroom] [sounds of people talking]

Prince (charming, addressing Listener) : My dear, I'm delighted that you accepted my invitation. I've been looking forward to seeing you again.
Prince : You look absolutely stunning; that outfit suits you perfectly.

Prince (amused) : It's quite surprising to see you without your hat. Now I can see your face more clearly... You're breathtaking...
[The Prince approaches]

Prince : Oh, wait, you're slightly disheveled. Let me fix that strand of hair...
[The Prince adjusts Listener's hair, touching it delicately]

Prince (whispering) : There, perfect...

Familiar (annoyed) : I think she can fix her hair herself.
Familiar : Or maybe you just need an excuse to touch her, Your Highness ?
[He positions himself between the Prince and the Listener]
(...)

Prince (slightly provocatively) : Well, have I annoyed your Familiar ? That wasn't my intention, of course. I just wanted to be helpful...
Familiar (not convinced) : Of course...
(...)

Prince : Well, shall we make our way to the banquet ?
Prince (addressing Familiar) : Perhaps a drink will help you calm down.
(...)

Familiar (grumbling, whispering to Listener) : He's lucky we're in his father's castle; otherwise, I would have turned him into dust.
(...)
Familiar : Hey, don't look at me like that ! He started it !
Familiar (possessive) : He knows exactly what he's doing, touching you like that...

[They walk to the banquet]
[Prince clinks his glass with silverware to get the crowd's attention]
Prince : Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to take a moment to thank you all for being here tonight.
[Murmurs from the crowd]

Prince (turning to Listener) : I would also like to propose a toast to the health and prosperity of our kingdom. But most importantly, I would like to celebrate the presence of our special guest tonight, the famous Mist Witch.
Prince : Her healing potions have saved lives, and her prosperity elixirs have ensured excellent harvests. Let this evening be dedicated to her, for her dedication to our people's well-being !
[Applause]
Prince : I wish you all a pleasant evening !
(…)

Familiar : Not a bad speech, even if he could have mentioned me. All those potions would never have been ready on time if I didn't spend my time gathering the ingredients...
[The Prince returns to Listener]

Prince : Thank you again for your invaluable help in prospering our kingdom. By the way, your new water purification potion has already had a significant impact on the health of our citizens.
Familiar (slightly sarcastic) : Well, I'm truly surprised, Your Highness, to see that you're funding useful potions for your subjects.

Prince (proudly) : Well, it's my duty as the heir to the throne, you know. I must take steps to-
Familiar (more sarcastic, laughing) : I thought you mainly used those potions to be more "vigorous"...
(…)

Prince (taken aback) : Huh ?
Prince (trying to save face) : You... You must be mistaken haha.
Prince : If... if I were to use such potions, it would only be in battles, to perform better.
Familiar (mocking) : Perform better ? I see... You do seem a bit... sluggish.
Prince (trying to remain cheerful) : A…Anyway !
Prince : The ball will be starting soon !
[The Prince kneels before Listener]

Familiar : What's he doing, why is he kneeling ?
Prince : My dear, would you grant me this dance ?
[Familiar interjects]

Familiar: Sorry, but she has already promised me the first dance ; you'll have to wait your turn.
Prince (a little disappointed) : Well, it seems I made my request too late. I'll wait then.
(…)

[Ballroom music] [Listener and Familiar start dancing]
Familiar : Phew, you were almost at his mercy ; luckily, I intervened just in time.
Familiar : Why did I lie ? What do you mean ?
(Listener responds)

Familiar : Well, it's true you didn't promise me the first dance. But as your escort, I expected it to be the case.
[He leans closer to Listener's ear]

Familiar (teasing) : Why ? Does it bother you to dance with me ? To be close like this ?
(Listener responds)
Familiar (satisfied) : That's what I thought.
(…)
Familiar : Hm ?
Familiar : Surprised that I can dance ? Well, I'm used to it.
Familiar : Where I come from, we used to have many festivities like this. I trained to be able to perform various dances, to satisfy my suitors.
(…)

Familiar : Yes, my suitors. I remind you that I come from a rather famous demon family.
Familiar (mischievous) : I was even quite popular, if you must know...
(…)

Familiar (amused) : Oh, did I dream that, or did you just frown ?
[He moves closer]

Familiar : Could it be that you're jealous, by any chance ?
Familiar (laughs lightly) : Hey, no need to make that face. You know I only have eyes for you. I have no desire to dance with anyone else...
[The Prince, dancing nearby, interrupts]

Prince : Well, sorry to disappoint you, Ciaran, but it's time to change dance partners...
(…)

Familiar (irritated) : The music isn't over yet, as far as I know.
Prince : So what ?
[The Prince takes Listener's hand, leading her into the dance]

Familiar : Hey ! Give her back to me !
Prince (amused ): Silly me, I forgot to mention that it's a mixer dance.
Prince : Therefore, I'll borrow her.

Prince : I'm sure you'll get along just fine with your new dance partner.
[The Familiar is grabbed by a woman]
Familiar (voice trailing off) : Hey, wait ! ...Damn it !
(…)

Prince (satisfied) : Finally alone.
Prince : Please forgive me ; your "servant" seems quite friendly but he is rather noisy. Now, I can finally have you all to myself.
(…)

Prince (flirting) : You look truly enchanting tonight, even more dazzling on the dance floor.
Prince : I'm glad you could make it despite your busy schedule. Is the evening to your liking ?
(…)
Prince : Well, I'm pleased.
Prince : You know, I must say, I feel really good in your company. It's as if we've known each other forever.
(Listener is embarrassed)

Prince (tenderly) : Oh ? You're blushing, my dear... Was I too forward ?
(…)
Prince (laughs) : Well, I didn't expect to see the great Mist Witch in such a state. If it isn't adorable...
(…)
[They dance for a few moments]

Prince (clearing his throat) : You know, there's something I'd like to talk to you about.
Prince : Indeed, I've been thinking about it for a few weeks now, and now I'm ready to say it...
[The Familiar, who had stopped dancing, suddenly grabs Listener's arm]

Familiar (confident) : Sorry, Your Majesty, but it's my turn again !
Prince (taken aback) : What! But... wait. That's not how this dance works.
Prince : She's supposed to dance with a third partner.
Prince (voice lowering) : You can't-
[The Familiar ignores him and starts dancing with Listener]

Familiar : Finally rid of him !
Familiar (annoyed) : I'm sure he used this dance to get closer to you. He's really sneaky.
(Listener rebukes)

Familiar : What ! I wasn't going to let you dance with him, am I ? You're MY partner.
[He leans closer to Listener]

Familiar : Got it ?
Familiar : Anyway, I hope this party won't drag on. I'm getting tired of all this crowd. Familiar (jealous) : But most of all, I'm fed up with having to share you with that idiot.
Familiar : You're much better off with me... aren't you?

[The Prince, who was nearby, takes Listener's arm again, initiating a new partner exchange]
Prince (to the Familiar) : I'll just borrow her again. It seems we have some private matters to discuss.
Familiar : Hey, wait-

[The Prince and Listener resume their dance]
Prince : Where were we...
Prince : Oh yes, I was about to tell you. I...
Prince (embarrassed) : I would like you to live at the palace.
(Listener is surprised)

Prince (continuing) : I know it's a rather sudden and perhaps too direct request, but... I've realized that our interactions could be much more efficient if you were closer.
Prince : My father completely agrees with me. He said he would be willing to build as many rooms as you like for your comfort.
(…)
[He moves his body closer to Listener's]

Prince : We only see each other when you bring potions to the palace. Yet I would love to talk more with you...
Prince : If you lived here, we could find moments to get to know each other better, away from prying eyes...
[The Familiar, who had stopped dancing, suddenly approaches]
Familiar (angry) : Okay, enough is enough.
[The Familiar interjects]

Familiar (more forcefully) : I can't tolerate this charade anymore. You think you can seduce her with your sweet words, but I won't let you hurt her.
Prince (serious) : Hurt her ? That's the last thing on my mind.
Prince : I'm just offering her an opportunity that could be beneficial for both of us.
[The Familiar curses]

Familiar : Don't think just because you're from the royal family you have all the rights. You pretend to be pure, but you're the most deceitful one here.
[The music stops]
(…)

Prince (trying to calm the situation but serious) : Judging by your horns popping out, it seems you're upset.
Prince : But I advise you to calm down a bit. These people came to have a good time at this ball, not to witness a quarrel.
(…)
[The Familiar calms down]

Prince (turning to Listener) : I'll give you some time to think about my proposition dear. Take all the time you need.
Prince : I'll have to step away to meet other guests, but I'll be around if you want to talk more.
[Prince walks away]

(…)
(Listener asks to speak outside with the Familiar)
Familiar : You want to go outside to talk ? But I-
Familiar (resigning) : Fine... I guess I've done enough anyway.
(…)

[They go out onto a balcony, night sounds]
Familiar : Hey, I already know what you're going to say...
(…)
Familiar (awkwardly) : I'm sorry for that scene. I shouldn't have lost my temper like that.
Familiar (continues) : But when I saw him near you like that, and when he asked you to live at the palace... I panicked.
[He moves closer to Listener]

Familiar : I know it's not up to me to decide where you should go, and I'll support you no matter what. But... I don't want to lose you.
Familiar : Our bond is the most precious thing to me... You're the center of my world, you know.
(…)

Familiar (a bit surprised) : You're not planning to go ?
Familiar : Well, it seems I got worked up for nothing once again... I'm sorry.
(…)

Familiar : Should I bring you back twice as many ingredients to make it up to you ?
(Listener responds)
Familiar (laughs) : Well, deal
Familiar : You know, I'm really grateful to have you.

[Listener kisses the Familiar's cheek]
Familiar (surprised) : Uh, why the kiss ?
Familiar : No, no I dont mind, but why all of a sudden ?
(…)

Familiar : Me too… I care about you a lot. More than I can put into words.
(…)
Familiar : You know, despite the chaos, dancing with you was the best part of the evening.
(…)
Familiar : So, should we return to the ball ?
Familiar : Well you’re right, with all the commotion I caused, we can't just go back as if nothing happened.
(…)
Familiar : And you seem tired too. Maybe it's best we head back home.
(…)

Familiar : Come on, let's head back quickly.
(End)
Author's note: I think I'll choose the Familiar.

tl;dr 0 - (disclaimer) Mobile Gaming has seen a bit of a decline this year, but it is still the biggest gaming platform in the world. I messed up last year with my predictions, So this year I am taking a different POV at the games being released and how I rank them in my videos.
tl;dr 1 - The mobile phone is the biggest gaming platform in the world, and there are thousands of different controllers made for your phone. The problem is that a lot of mobile games don’t support those controllers, which can be very frustrating if that is what you’re looking for. So here are the top 8 mobile games with controller support for 2024. : Death’s Door, Death Road to Canada, Gunfire Reborn, Grimvalor, Kingdom: Two Crowns, Haak, Wreckfest, and ScourgeBringer (I give my reasons for choosing each one, so if one of these confuses you, make sure to read the post before raging 😂)
tl;dr 2 - I made all of this with game footage into a short HQ video here: https://youtu.be/yweX-z3jV1w
But for those of you who prefer to read, here is the Video Script:
The mobile phone is the biggest gaming platform in the world, and there are thousands of different controllers made for your phone. The problem is that a lot of mobile games don’t support those controllers, which can be very frustrating if that is what you’re looking for. So here are the top 10 mobile games with controller support for 2024. They laughed at me, six years ago, when I said that mobile games would become the biggest gaming platform. And stuff like this, controllers for the phone, people just... they couldn’t see it. But now, it's becoming pretty common, and some games don’t offer controller support. So if you’re someone with a controller, or thinking about buying one, here’s our list of the top 10 games with controller support.
The first game on our list is Death’s Door, an exceptional action-adventure game. In Death’s Door, players assume the role of a Crow tasked with hunting down a stolen soul in order to maintain the balance of the afterlife. As a soul-reaping Crow, players must traverse through a mysterious and immersive world, engage in combat encounters using both melee and ranged weapons, while also tackling puzzles all while trying to get to the bottom of why things that should be dead just won't stay dead.One of the standout features of Death’s Door is its remarkable level and world design, which immerses players in a richly detailed and atmospheric environment. The fluid combat mechanics further enhance the gameplay experience, providing players with a satisfying and dynamic combat system. Additionally, the game offers a diverse array of weapons that players can wield, each with its own unique characteristics and playstyles. Furthermore, the ability to upgrade stats adds depth to character progression, enabling players to enhance their Crow's capabilities as they embark on their journey to confront epic dungeon bosses.
Death's Door - Apps on Google Play
The second game on our list is Death Road to Canada, a randomly generated road trip Action-RPG that promises massive amounts of replay value. As the player, you take on the role of managing a group of quirky characters as they go on a perilous journey through cities infested with up to 500 zombies at once. The game's randomness extends to its core elements, including locations, events, survivor personalities, and skills. The Death Road spans from Florida to Canada, the last nation on Earth, offering a diverse array of special events, rare encounters, and unique recruits along the way. Throughout the journey, players must navigate text events that present tough choices, with outcomes that vary based on the composition of their group. Each character possesses distinct personalities, and betrayals among the group are not uncommon, adding an element of unpredictability and tension to the gameplay.
Death Road to Canada - Apps on Google Play
The third game on our list is Gunfire Reborn, a roguelike shooter with an exciting level-based experience that showcases a distinct low-poly art style, ported to mobile devices. In the game, players can dive into an action-packed world where they wield an impressive arsenal of over 40 weapons and diverse character builds, to navigate through procedurally generated environments. The developers have taken steps to ensure a seamless mobile experience, offering both single-player and 4-player co-op multiplayer, refining combat mechanics, optimizing weapon performance, and adapting touch screen controls. Combining the immersive nature of FPS gameplay with roguelite elements, Gunfire Reborn promises a dynamic journey, with each playthrough offering distinct challenges due to the randomness of levels and weapons.
Gunfire Reborn - Apps on Google Play
The fourth game on our list is Grimvalor, a 2D soulslike action platformer, renowned for its uncompromising difficulty and engaging hack 'n' slash combat mechanics. The game presents players with a daunting challenge, featuring hardcore platforming segments and combat encounters where they must skillfully defend against multiple adversaries. The narrative unfolds in the harsh and unforgiving realm of Vallaris, a forgotten kingdom that exudes brutality and hostility. The central objective is to unravel the mystery surrounding the missing king of Vallaris, a quest that propels players into a variety of grim and treacherous landscapes. The journey through these perilous environments serves as a backdrop for the relentless action and exploration that defines Grimvalor. Players are immersed in a world where they must master the game's sophisticated combination of hack-and-slash combat and intricate platforming challenges. Grimvalor's reputation is built upon its ability to deliver an elegant and punishing gaming experience. The harmonious integration of combat finesse, platforming precision, and exploration elements contributes to the game's allure.
Grimvalor - Apps on Google Play
The fifth game on our list is Kingdom: Two Crowns, which presents players with an immersive gaming experience as they embark on the task of building and expanding their kingdom, starting from a modest campfire and evolving into formidable forts across multiple islands. The game's progression is punctuated by the relentless attacks from a peculiar army of monsters that assail the kingdom each night, adding a layer of challenge and urgency to the gameplay. Defense against nightly monster attacks is a key aspect of gameplay. While these attacks are generally manageable, the monsters possess the ability to gradually pilfer gold until the player loses their crown. Upon such a defeat, players are reset to the game's starting point, requiring them to rebuild their base from scratch. However, the loss is not absolute, as previously established buildings on colonized islands remain intact.
Kingdom Two Crowns - Apps on Google Play
The sixth game on our list is Haak, an ultra-stylish post-apocalyptic metroidvania game. In the desolate landscapes of HAAK, players will encounter various adversaries, including mutated animals and giant mechanical bugs. The gameplay mechanics involve more than simple running and jumping, with a quickfire hookshot emerging as a primary means of traversing through the landscape. This dynamic tool adds an extra layer of strategy to both exploration and combat, contributing to the game's overall appeal. Unlike some metroidvania titles that focus on hair-tearing difficulty, HAAK takes a different approach. The game prioritizes delivering a fast and fluid experience that is accessible to a broad audience. While the game is designed to be enjoyable for players of varying skill levels, those seeking a greater challenge can still find satisfaction in extra challenges that test their mettle.
HAAK - Apps on Google Play
The seventh game on our list is Wreckfest. This game, created by HandyGames, has incredible graphics and game physics. Which is important for a good combat-racer. For those unfamiliar with the game, Wreckfest places you in the driver's seat of a variety of vehicles and challenges your skills in piloting them without allowing them to be reduced to a pile of wreckage. The game modes available in Wreckfest span from intense destruction-derby-style gameplay, where your goal is to obliterate your opponents' vehicles and be the last one standing, to intricate obstacle courses that demand precision navigation through challenging tracks without succumbing to explosions. Adding to the game's appeal is the extensive selection of vehicles, which includes a wide variety of cars, trucks, and dune buggies. This diverse lineup of vehicles provides players with numerous options to unleash vehicular mayhem on the tracks.
Wreckfest - Apps on Google Play
The eighth game on our list is ScourgeBringer. Primarily, it is a roguelike game, which means it involves substantial meta-progression between runs, emphasizing the goal of clearing as many rooms as possible before inevitably succumbing to the game's challenges, only to rise and try again. The game also features fluid shooting combined with metroidvania mechanics and melee combat. The core gameplay of ScourgeBringer bears a resemblance to a 2D platformer, albeit intensified with action and remarkable speed. Players will engage in fierce combat against a diverse range of adversaries and formidable bosses that occupy entire rooms. The progression revolves around room-to-room navigation, offering a straightforward yet demanding premise.
ScourgeBringer - Apps on Google Play
Well, that’s it guys. Hope that helps. This video covers controller supported games generically. If you want to know about more games, you can check out my genre videos that covers even more games, some of which can be played with controller support. Alright guys, I’ll see you next time.

tl;dr 0 - (disclaimer) Mobile Gaming has seen a bit of a decline this year, but it is still the biggest gaming platform in the world. I messed up last year with my predictions, So this year I am taking a different POV at the games being released and how I rank them in my videos.
tl;dr 1 - The mobile phone is the biggest gaming platform in the world, and there are thousands of different controllers made for your phone. The problem is that a lot of mobile games don’t support those controllers, which can be very frustrating if that is what you’re looking for. So here are the top 10 mobile games with controller support for 2024. : Hyper Light Drifter, Hades, Death’s Door, Death Road to Canada, Gunfire Reborn,Grimvalor, Kingdom: Two Crowns,Haak, Wreckfest, and ScourgeBringer (I give my reasons for choosing each one, so if one of these confuses you, make sure to read the post before raging 😂)
tl;dr 2 - I made all of this with game footage into a short HQ video here: https://youtu.be/yweX-z3jV1w
But for those of you who prefer to read, here is the Video Script:
The mobile phone is the biggest gaming platform in the world, and there are thousands of different controllers made for your phone. The problem is that a lot of mobile games don’t support those controllers, which can be very frustrating if that is what you’re looking for. So here are the top 10 mobile games with controller support for 2024.
They laughed at me, six years ago, when I said that mobile games would become the biggest gaming platform. And stuff like this, controllers for the phone, people just... they couldn’t see it. But now, it's becoming pretty common, and some games don’t offer controller support. So if you’re someone with a controller, or thinking about buying one, here’s our list of the top 10 games with controller support.
The first game on our list is Hyper Light Drifter, an action-adventure RPG that pays homage to the best 16-bit classics while introducing modernized mechanics and designs. Set in a savage land steeped in treasure and blood, the game immerses players in a world teeming with forgotten knowledge, lost technologies, and broken histories. Players assume the role of a Drifter, tasked with collecting these remnants of the past while grappling with their own haunting illness. One of the standout features of Hyper Light Drifter is its meticulously crafted art style, with everything from character animations to subtle background elements lovingly hand-animated. This attention to detail brings the game's dark and detailed world to life, immersing players in its atmospheric setting. Exploration is a central aspect of Hyper Light Drifter, with players traversing a sprawling world filled with branching paths and secrets waiting to be uncovered. The game's non-linear design encourages players to chart their own course through the land of Buried Time, uncovering hidden treasures and unraveling the mysteries that lie beneath the surface.
Hyper Light Drifter on the App Store (apple.com)
The second game on our list is Hades, originally made by Supergiant Games and ported to mobile devices by Netflix Games. This highly acclaimed indie roguelite top-down action game immerses players in the role of the son of Hades himself, Zagreus, as he attempts to escape the underworld. While rooted in the roguelite genre, Hades distinguishes itself with a strong focus on narrative, making it one of the most story-driven experiences within the roguelite category. Between each action-packed run, you’ll be progressing a narrative full of twists and turns as you speak to the members of your house within the Underworld. These include the likes of Hades, your father, who will berate you and insist that you cannot and should not escape constantly, along with other characters that add layers to the narrative, providing players with a unique and immersive storytelling experience. Hades has gained widespread recognition within the gaming community for its unique blend of challenging roguelite gameplay and a compelling narrative. Its success lies not only in its gameplay mechanics but also in its ability to make the often daunting roguelite genre more accessible and enjoyable for a broader audience.
‎Hades - NETFLIX on the App Store (apple.com)
The Third game on our list is Death’s Door, an exceptional action-adventure game. In Death’s Door, players assume the role of a Crow tasked with hunting down a stolen soul in order to maintain the balance of the afterlife. As a soul-reaping Crow, players must traverse through a mysterious and immersive world, engage in combat encounters using both melee and ranged weapons, while also tackling puzzles all while trying to get to the bottom of why things that should be dead just won't stay dead.One of the standout features of Death’s Door is its remarkable level and world design, which immerses players in a richly detailed and atmospheric environment. The fluid combat mechanics further enhance the gameplay experience, providing players with a satisfying and dynamic combat system. Additionally, the game offers a diverse array of weapons that players can wield, each with its own unique characteristics and playstyles. Furthermore, the ability to upgrade stats adds depth to character progression, enabling players to enhance their Crow's capabilities as they embark on their journey to confront epic dungeon bosses.
Death's Door on the App Store (apple.com)
The fourth game on our list is Death Road to Canada, a randomly generated road trip Action-RPG that promises massive amounts of replay value. As the player, you take on the role of managing a group of quirky characters as they go on a perilous journey through cities infested with up to 500 zombies at once. The game's randomness extends to its core elements, including locations, events, survivor personalities, and skills. The Death Road spans from Florida to Canada, the last nation on Earth, offering a diverse array of special events, rare encounters, and unique recruits along the way. Throughout the journey, players must navigate text events that present tough choices, with outcomes that vary based on the composition of their group. Each character possesses distinct personalities, and betrayals among the group are not uncommon, adding an element of unpredictability and tension to the gameplay.
Death Road to Canada on the App Store (apple.com)
The fifth game on our list is Gunfire Reborn, a roguelike shooter with an exciting level-based experience that showcases a distinct low-poly art style, ported to mobile devices. In the game, players can dive into an action-packed world where they wield an impressive arsenal of over 40 weapons and diverse character builds, to navigate through procedurally generated environments. The developers have taken steps to ensure a seamless mobile experience, offering both single-player and 4-player co-op multiplayer, refining combat mechanics, optimizing weapon performance, and adapting touch screen controls. Combining the immersive nature of FPS gameplay with roguelite elements, Gunfire Reborn promises a dynamic journey, with each playthrough offering distinct challenges due to the randomness of levels and weapons.
Gunfire Reborn on the App Store (apple.com)
The sixth game on our list is Grimvalor, a 2D soulslike action platformer, renowned for its uncompromising difficulty and engaging hack 'n' slash combat mechanics. The game presents players with a daunting challenge, featuring hardcore platforming segments and combat encounters where they must skillfully defend against multiple adversaries. The narrative unfolds in the harsh and unforgiving realm of Vallaris, a forgotten kingdom that exudes brutality and hostility. The central objective is to unravel the mystery surrounding the missing king of Vallaris, a quest that propels players into a variety of grim and treacherous landscapes. The journey through these perilous environments serves as a backdrop for the relentless action and exploration that defines Grimvalor. Players are immersed in a world where they must master the game's sophisticated combination of hack-and-slash combat and intricate platforming challenges. Grimvalor's reputation is built upon its ability to deliver an elegant and punishing gaming experience. The harmonious integration of combat finesse, platforming precision, and exploration elements contributes to the game's allure.
Grimvalor on the App Store (apple.com)
The seventh game on our list is Kingdom: Two Crowns, which presents players with an immersive gaming experience as they embark on the task of building and expanding their kingdom, starting from a modest campfire and evolving into formidable forts across multiple islands. The game's progression is punctuated by the relentless attacks from a peculiar army of monsters that assail the kingdom each night, adding a layer of challenge and urgency to the gameplay. Defense against nightly monster attacks is a key aspect of gameplay. While these attacks are generally manageable, the monsters possess the ability to gradually pilfer gold until the player loses their crown. Upon such a defeat, players are reset to the game's starting point, requiring them to rebuild their base from scratch. However, the loss is not absolute, as previously established buildings on colonized islands remain intact.
Kingdom Two Crowns on the App Store (apple.com)
The eighth game on our list is Haak, an ultra-stylish post-apocalyptic metroidvania game. In the desolate landscapes of HAAK, players will encounter various adversaries, including mutated animals and giant mechanical bugs. The gameplay mechanics involve more than simple running and jumping, with a quickfire hookshot emerging as a primary means of traversing through the landscape. This dynamic tool adds an extra layer of strategy to both exploration and combat, contributing to the game's overall appeal. Unlike some metroidvania titles that focus on hair-tearing difficulty, HAAK takes a different approach. The game prioritizes delivering a fast and fluid experience that is accessible to a broad audience. While the game is designed to be enjoyable for players of varying skill levels, those seeking a greater challenge can still find satisfaction in extra challenges that test their mettle.
HAAK on the App Store (apple.com)
The ninth game on our list is Wreckfest. This game, created by HandyGames, has incredible graphics and game physics. Which is important for a good combat-racer. For those unfamiliar with the game, Wreckfest places you in the driver's seat of a variety of vehicles and challenges your skills in piloting them without allowing them to be reduced to a pile of wreckage. The game modes available in Wreckfest span from intense destruction-derby-style gameplay, where your goal is to obliterate your opponents' vehicles and be the last one standing, to intricate obstacle courses that demand precision navigation through challenging tracks without succumbing to explosions. Adding to the game's appeal is the extensive selection of vehicles, which includes a wide variety of cars, trucks, and dune buggies. This diverse lineup of vehicles provides players with numerous options to unleash vehicular mayhem on the tracks.
‎Wreckfest on the App Store (apple.com)
The tenth game on our list is ScourgeBringer. Primarily, it is a roguelike game, which means it involves substantial meta-progression between runs, emphasizing the goal of clearing as many rooms as possible before inevitably succumbing to the game's challenges, only to rise and try again. The game also features fluid shooting combined with metroidvania mechanics and melee combat. The core gameplay of ScourgeBringer bears a resemblance to a 2D platformer, albeit intensified with action and remarkable speed. Players will engage in fierce combat against a diverse range of adversaries and formidable bosses that occupy entire rooms. The progression revolves around room-to-room navigation, offering a straightforward yet demanding premise.
ScourgeBringer on the App Store (apple.com)
Well, that’s it guys. Hope that helps. This video covers controller supported games generically. If you want to know about more games, you can check out my genre videos that covers even more games, some of which can be played with controller support. Alright guys, I’ll see you next time.

It is ironic that for many, physical reality is like the most hardcore escape room, whereby even death is not a way out. It is all an illusion they say, "We are living in the matrix."
What is seemingly ignored is the good news in all of this. If life as you perceive it is a simulation, then it is like a game, which means there is a way to win. "Just surrender," many say; "Give up. Let go. Nobody can win this. Let the system take control. To even think you have power or can escape is just your ego, man."
There is beauty in how the soon-to-be-retired rulers of this Earthly plane have convinced so many minds to obey, conform and submit to their external authority. They sow chaos and division by deceiving people into not believing in themselves, but instead into whatever narrative they are pushing. The idea that individuals can become Masters of their own destiny terrifies them.
The Truth is that Earth is your kingdom and never has it been easier to live life as a king. You are living in a simulation that can be won because you are not part of the simulation. You are real. The only way to win this is by flipping the script on them. Instead of letting the external world shape you like a clay pot, you can arrive at the place where you instead shape the world. This mentality flip may not happen overnight, but until you recognize yourself as queen or king of your own kingdom, you will be just another pawn in it.
If you don't feel ready for such a shift, that's ok too. We live in a diverse world and Nature allows each person to live whatever life they each feel content with. You do you. As for me, I want to see the limitless You.

It is ironic that for many, physical reality is like the most hardcore escape room, whereby even death is not a way out. It is all an illusion they say, "We are living in the matrix."
What is seemingly ignored is the good news in all of this. If life as you perceive it is a simulation, then it is like a game, which means there is a way to win. "Just surrender," many say; "Give up. Let go. Nobody can win this. Let the system take control. To even think you have power or can escape is just your ego, man."
There is beauty in how the soon-to-be-retired rulers of this Earthly plane have convinced so many minds to obey, conform and submit to their external authority. They sow chaos and division by deceiving people into not believing in themselves, but instead into whatever narrative they are pushing. The idea that individuals can become Masters of their own destiny terrifies them.
The Truth is that Earth is your kingdom and never has it been easier to live life as a king. You are living in a simulation that can be won because you are not part of the simulation. You are real. The only way to win this is by flipping the script on them. Instead of letting the external world shape you like a clay pot, you can arrive at the place where you instead shape the world. This mentality flip may not happen overnight, but until you recognize yourself as queen or king of your own kingdom, you will be just another pawn in it.
If you don't feel ready for such a shift, that's ok too. We live in a diverse world and Nature allows each person to live whatever life they each feel content with. You do you. As for me, I want to see the limitless You.

It is ironic that for many, physical reality is like the most hardcore escape room, whereby even death is not a way out. It is all an illusion they say, "We are living in the matrix."
What is seemingly ignored is the good news in all of this. If life as you perceive it is a simulation, then it is like a game, which means there is a way to win. "Just surrender," many say; "Give up. Let go. Nobody can win this. Let the system take control. To even think you have power or can escape is just your ego, man."
There is beauty in how the soon-to-be-retired rulers of this Earthly plane have convinced so many minds to obey, conform and submit to their external authority. They sow chaos and division by deceiving people into not believing in themselves, but instead into whatever narrative they are pushing. The idea that individuals can become Masters of their own destiny terrifies them.
The Truth is that Earth is your kingdom and never has it been easier to live life as a king. You are living in a simulation that can be won because you are not part of the simulation. You are real. The only way to win this is by flipping the script on them. Instead of letting the external world shape you like a clay pot, you can arrive at the place where you instead shape the world. This mentality flip may not happen overnight, but until you recognize yourself as queen or king of your own kingdom, you will be just another pawn in it.
If you don't feel ready for such a shift, that's ok too. We live in a diverse world and Nature allows each person to live whatever life they each feel content with. You do you. As for me, I want to see the limitless You.

It is ironic that for many, physical reality is like the most hardcore escape room, whereby even death is not a way out. It is all an illusion they say, "We are living in the matrix."
What is seemingly ignored is the good news in all of this. If life as you perceive it is a simulation, then it is like a game, which means there is a way to win. "Just surrender," many say; "Give up. Let go. Nobody can win this. Let the system take control. To even think you have power or can escape is just your ego, man."
There is beauty in how the soon-to-be-retired rulers of this Earthly plane have convinced so many minds to obey, conform and submit to their external authority. They sow chaos and division by deceiving people into not believing in themselves, but instead into whatever narrative they are pushing. The idea that individuals can become Masters of their own destiny terrifies them.
The Truth is that Earth is your kingdom and never has it been easier to live life as a king. You are living in a simulation that can be won because you are not part of the simulation. You are real. The only way to win this is by flipping the script on them. Instead of letting the external world shape you like a clay pot, you can arrive at the place where you instead shape the world. This mentality flip may not happen overnight, but until you recognize yourself as queen or king of your own kingdom, you will be just another pawn in it.
If you don't feel ready for such a shift, that's ok too. We live in a diverse world and Nature allows each person to live whatever life they each feel content with. You do you. As for me, I want to see the limitless You.

Rehearsals are done, Eurovision week has started! Time for another short poll! Who grew on you? Who lost their magic? Please post your rankings in the comments until Tueday, 7th May at 7:00 CEST.
The results will be calculated with an automated script. I tried to make it as robust as possible (and I will always adapt it when I see new edge cases in comments), but if you want to ensure that your vote counts, make sure that:

1. You provide your ranking in a top-level comment
2. You write the countries in separate lines, and the lines start with a number (example: "1. United States")
3. You either use the Country name, the song name or the flag emoji of the country.
4. You can't have a tie between songs
5. You write down at least your full top 10
6. Don't just put "1." at the start of every row and let reddit do its thing. Actually put the all the numbers from 1 to 10 in the markdown
7. If you're unsure, just look at the other comments. Almost all of them are valid.

	COUNTRY	SONG	ARTIST	🎤	💿
🇦🇱	Albania	Titan	Besa Kokëdhima	N/A	studio
🇦🇲	Armenia	Jako	LADANIVA	N/A	studio
🇦🇺	Australia	One Milkali (One Blood)	Electric Fields	N/A	studio
🇦🇹	Austria	We Will Rave	Kaleen	N/A	studio
🇦🇿	Azerbaijan	Özünlə Apar	FAHREE feat. Ilkin Dovlatov	live	N/A
🇧🇪	Belgium	Before The Party's Over	Mustii	N/A	studio
🇭🇷	Croatia	Rim Tim Tagi Dim	Baby Lasagna	live	studio
🇨🇾	Cyprus	Liar	Silia Kapsis	N/A	studio
🇨🇿	Czechia	Pedestal	Aiko	live	studio
🇩🇰	Denmark	Sand	Saba	live	studio
🇪🇪	Estonia	(nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi	5Miinust & Puuluup	live	studio
🇫🇮	Finland	No Rules	Windows95man	live	studio
🇫🇷	France	Mon Amour	Slimane	live	studio
🇬🇪	Georgia	Firefighter	Nutsa Buzaladze	N/A	studio
🇩🇪	Germany	Always On The Run	Isaak	live	studio
🇬🇷	Greece	ZARI	Marina Satti	N/A	studio
🇮🇸	Iceland	Scared of Heights	Hera Björk	live	studio
🇮🇪	Ireland	Doomsday Blue	Bambie Thug	live	studio
🇮🇱	Israel	Hurricane	Eden Golan	N/A	studio
🇮🇹	Italy	La Noia	Angelina Mango	live	studio
🇱🇻	Latvia	Hollow	Dons	live	studio
🇱🇹	Lithuania	Luktelk	Silvester Belt	live	studio
🇱🇺	Luxembourg	Fighter	Tali	live	studio
🇲🇹	Malta	Loop	Sarah Bonnici	live	studio
🇲🇩	Moldova	In The Middle	Natalia Barbu	live	studio
🇳🇱	Netherlands	Europapa	Joost Klein	N/A	studio
🇳🇴	Norway	Ulveham	Gåte	live	studio
🇵🇱	Poland	The Tower	Luna	N/A	studio
🇵🇹	Portugal	Grito	iolanda	live	studio
🇸🇲	San Marino	11:11	Megara	live	studio
🇷🇸	Serbia	Ramonda	Teya Dora	live	studio
🇸🇮	Slovenia	Veronika	Raiven	N/A	studio
🇪🇸	Spain	Zorra	Nebulossa	live	studio
🇸🇪	Sweden	Unforgettable	Marcus & Martinus	live	studio
🇨🇭	Switzerland	The Code	Nemo	N/A	studio
🇺🇦	Ukraine	Teresa & Maria	alyona alyona & Jerry Heil	live	studio
🇬🇧	United Kingdom	Dizzy	Olly Alexander	N/A	studio

I’m going to be running this adventure soon (my players’ party is heading to Yeonido to look for someone who ties to their larger campaign), and I am trying to figure out the details they can uncover when they dig into the city’s past to explain the gwishin attacks. Have other people come up with concrete events or accomplishments to attribute to Won-ha? And maybe stronger motives for the ruling family to cover up what she did? Possibly also a reason for things to have gotten worse recently? I have some ideas, but I am not really satisfied with what I have come up with yet.
I’m thinking she might have started off as a humble adventurer, and the forgotten ‘shrine of the hero’ might have been built in her image while she was still alive and fairly young to commemorate her fighting off monsters threatening a village, and then she was drafted into government service, partly as a reward for her heroism, partly so the ruling family could associate themselves with a popular figure, but without any expectation that she would do much. Yeonido was a hermit kingdom, closed off from the rest of the world, and constantly threatened by two larger, aggressive nations on either side of it. Dae Won-ha went on an expedition through foreign lands, studied how ships were built elsewhere and came back with plans for how to build a powerful fleet, she also made ties that opened the way for profitable trade routes and treaties guaranteeing Yeonido’s safety from its immediate neighbors… though maybe this is all still too vague.
maybe a monument was recently unveiled at the docks commemorating the construction of Yeonido’s fleet with a statue showing the queen handing plans for her new vessels to the man who oversaw their construction, and this was what set off the current rounds of angry attacks.
I imagine the royal family is carefully constructing the queen’s reputation as the brilliant architect of Yeonido’s prosperity, because she is actually a simpleton who can only be presented to foreigners and the public in carefully scripted ceremonies where she can’t say or do anything that will give away how unfit she is for the throne. Perhaps the ruling family is also careful about maintaining a narrative that only Dragonborn are fit to or capable of ruling the city, and the fact that the true architect of their prosperity isn’t one would undermine that? Maybe the gwishin’s anger stems mostly from being forgotten, but also partly from the injustice of maintaining Dragonborn dominance over everyone else.
I didn’t plan on writing so much. I genuinely am curious how other people presented her past and made her a compelling figure, worthy of commemorating.

They are available on https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/ as part of the web player. You can download them one at a time by right-clicking on the player, but it's kind of tedious, so I made a small script. If you have a Mac, you can paste this into the Terminal, and it will download the whole album to your desktop. Be sure to send a paypal donation.

cd ~/Desktop mkdir -p "Diamond Jubilee" && cd "Diamond Jubilee" curl \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-01_Diamond_Jubilee.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-02_Glitz.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-03_Baby_Blue.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-04_Dreams_of_You.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-05_All_I_Want_Is_You.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-06_Dallas.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-07_Olive_Drab.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-08_Always_Dreaming.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-09_Wild_One.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-10_Flesh_and_Blood.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-11_Le_Machiniste_Fantome.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-12_Kingdom_Come.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-13_Demon_Bitch.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-14_I_Have_My_Doubts.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-15_Til_Polarity\'s_End.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/1-16_Realistik_Heaven.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-01_Stone_Faces.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-02_GAYBLEVISION.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-03_Dracula.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-04_Lockstepp.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-05_Government_Cheque.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-06_Deepest_Blue.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-07_To_Heal_This_Wounded_Heart.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-08_Golden_Microphone.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-09_If_You_Hear_Me_Crying.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-10_Darling_of_the_Diskoteque.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-11_Don\'t_Tell_Me_I\'m_Wrong.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-12_What\'s_It_Going_to_Take.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-13_Wild_Rose.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-14_Durham_City_Limit.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-15_Crime_of_Passion.mp3 \ --remote-name https://castexotic.com/realistikstudios/tracks/2-16_24_7_Heaven.mp3 echo "Done" 

Alright, I just finish watching the Episode 2 and well. To sum up what I feel about the episode, I think It is a great episode ( although you can obviously feel the rush when they just fast-forward entire non-Gumm-&-Pomni cameo ). Annnnnnnnyway it is time for a film theory.
As I am personally Chinese, so I also drag some Chinese community's theory into here. And also my own observation.

1. C&A Lab Theory

The first theory came from @渚薰太温柔力 from Bilibili. With the help of translation from ChatGPT

Here's my interpretation based on the easter egg in the previously released official advertisement for the chip that enhances the sense of reality in games: I believe the protagonists and others are copies of their own consciousness. I speculate that the circus originated from a team of researchers studying the replicability of human consciousness. They advertised the chip as enhancing the gaming experience but actually replicated the consciousness of the users. Moreover, from Bubble's line in this episode, "No, I'm quitting smoking," I think Bubble's identity isn't straightforward; he's likely a researcher. I recall the official statement that Caine is an AI who wants to bring pleasure to the protagonists but doesn't know how to define pleasure. I believe this is because obtaining experimental samples (i.e., the consciousness of the protagonists) is difficult, so maintaining their happiness is necessary. Therefore, Caine's actions may not necessarily be benevolent, and I currently view Caine and Bubbles as opposed to the protagonists. (Note: All views are personal opinions and unrelated to the truth. Please point out any errors if present.)

about that "the chip that enhances the sense of reality in games", I am not that sure what does that mean ( If I am not hardcore enough to be an observant? ), I think they mean the VR headset on top of the table in Episode 1 when Pomni running the hell out from the circus.

2. Jax's Personality and Odd Point

This is a combination of pretty much me and others' theory. We all knew how jaxass is Jax in Episode 2. But I notice something about him, apart from at the end Jax actually being sympathetic to Kaufmo.
@洛可已上锁 from Bilibili

Make the character feel more complete, the individual revels in violence and gore, displaying a markedly antisocial personality. He particularly enjoy bullying Gangle, This kind of person is not like he is going to abstract soon, but it feels like he wants to beat that abstract thing. He lack the care and empathy that others possess, like even all positive words don't apply to him. During Kafumo's funeral, Jax can be seen walking away with a furrowed brow, indicating his aversion to the proceedings. There might have been some past conflict between him and Kafumo, possibly contributing to Kafumo's demise.
In summary: He exude madness with a twisted sense of aesthetics, but underneath lies an unsettling aura.

And now I saw someone talking about how unnatural Jax is during the entire thing in somewhere I forgot.
Basically that person said that Jax is acting unusually high with violence, sacarsm stuff. Although some may argued that that's just a daily Jax... but that person also said Jax know what happen if they follow the entire script programmed by C&A developers ( Caine? ) and its mechanics and rule. So what he do is, taking every steps unpredictably so that the program don't know what to do with them. Hence the glitching car, model room and lastly "Friendship ended with Fudge, now Gumm is my best friend" moment.
But what will happen if they just follow everything normally without Jax jaxing? I don't have a clue about that. BUT! Remember when Caine said "If I misjudge who is NPC and Human, who knows what could happen" at the near end of the episode, and that “imagine all the violent shipping wars that we'll be completely powerless to do anything about." at that merchandise promotion video. I knew certain things about that IF someone in the protagonist gang managed to have some sentiment and feeling with NPC, and give them an aslyum at the circus, we knew that something is going to happen, could be mass-abstraction or big emotional damage or others. Depends what Gooseworx want it to be.
One thing certain is that, Jax is probably not an antagonist that collaborate with developers to try manipulate the rest of protagonist group. He just like to do things his own way, aka Jaxass.
Oh wait, about that model room...

3. Model Room and Teapot

As someone who is quite knowledgable at game rendering, this one is pretty simple to explain.
Most game always have some several assets that needed to be load up frequently into player's screen, like for example grass, bushes, or in this case, mannequins and NPC characters like Gumm. Developers, instead of having to do all of them individually, can just put a couple of model outside the map, and optionally change their texture or color. And load them up to their designated place. This approach could dramatically reduce processing power to run the game, and make the game run more smoothly.
Of course, TADC is a 1990s game where every single gaming resource can be used are often scarce. ( I am not a 90s so I may have said something incorrectly ) So it had a model room explicitly for Candy Kingdom's assets.
BUT! Why the room look more like a maze room than model room, because usually modern game model room are not really a room. It is just a simple plane and character models standing T-pose on the plane. Of course there is this possibility where Glitch and Goose just want to make the room more interesting than just grey and void and open model room.
However, how do you explain the teapot when Pomni and Gumm was falling and rising? I believe this have to be a symbolism of something. My MatPat brain can't think of something that could be mean other than the Windows 2000 screensaver 3D Pipe's teapot. Anyone got any idea of this teapot?

4. Gumm and Caine's New AI

Clearly Gumm is the new AI in testing. When I saw he approaching the T-pose, stationary, lifeless of him, that scene remind me awfully lot of Truman Show. Where Truman live in a completely artificial scene and think they live in real life. It is a great movie and I would recommend it.
Alright back to the topic. I see a lot of similarity between Truman and Gumm realizing they live in a show or scene. Except Truman escaped from the shoot, Gumm just get Thanos'd by Caine. I think it is probably for the best though ( at least for developers ).
I mean the thing could probably shed some light about what the developers are researching for with the protagonist gang. It can be Maze Runner-like goal if you guy ever read it. About that Ragatha's "Gumm can return, don't worry" thing, the safe bet is that either Gumm forgot all of these thing he had experienced with Pomni, or Caine degrade his AI, or both. But you never knew how sane is the creator of Blue Channel Thalasin and Jax simp.

5. The Gate Key

Oh yeah, everyone almost forgot that Jax still have his gate key on his pocket. One person I knew pointed up that this gate key could be a key for future episodes, and foreshadow stuff. Although that Fudge combat Candy Kingdom part is probably not that important as Caine could easily YOLO the entire map into oblivion.

6. Eliminating/Light-disprove theories made up by people during Episode 1

The theory disproved is quite a lot that I can't actually list all of them, but here's some, like the Pomni-went-Insane theory, Jax-antagonist theory, everyone-being-forgetful theory, and so much headcanon theory.
At least the Corn theory is still held up.

7. Zooble Outfit Change

Someone and I notice Zooble's outfit change ( their black--white-colored Y-shaped stuff to a yellow-colored arrow, light blue ring to black-white plate ) , BEFORE the gang went to the Candy Kingdom. Which mean them changing their part in the night before anything in Day 2. That u/cyber-worms' comic come true? ( https://www.reddit.com/TheDigitalCircus/comments/1aon9bf/the_zooble_box_cyberwormss_on_tumblroc/ )

8. Pomni x Gummigoo Real?

what
Here's guy, this 2000 words theory post is what you get when you are overanalysting a for-all-age show ( at least for now ). There are a lot of other thing I probably didn't mention here but you can comment below what you have observed in Episode 2.
But hey, that's all just a theory, a film theory.

Part 1 Part 2
Qui nunc it per iter tenebricosum Illuc, unde negant redire quemquam.
As indecipherable as that which comes after may be, I now know it is not a dreamless sleep. I watched as the bodily realm was gradually inundated with a thick mist. There laid my corpse at my feet. My head had catastrophically burst open into a tangle of blood and pulp, a blossoming lily with flesh for petals sunken into a pool of wine. It was impossible to tell where my forehead started and where my jaw ended. And yet, I felt neither nauseous nor anguished at the sight of my face reduced to a clutter of matter not even remotely classifiable as human. I felt nothing. I watched without understanding but without asking why. And I watched as Leth lowered his shotgun, bent over to pick up the blood-soaked shell and calmly walked back to the store, presumably to remove the remaining shells. I watched, until he too evaporated into the mist.
To think, that the reality no cantor or artist had ever depicted in the wholeness of its inexpressibility was in fact unutterable due to its mystery being so elementary. Litotes would be the only key to describe what I’d seen. A drab absence of light that cast no shade in the darkest of brightnesses, where everything could be seen at once in a missing horizon while being unable to see farther than one’s nose, where one segment of space could be crowded with sizeless entities while being left fumbling in its empty geometry. I felt as though the name and the age and the potentiality and the actuality of the animal that others had known as the man enveloped by the tendrils of the woman who gave me birth were prohibited from inhabiting that insubstantial volume, within which I understood that it mattered not whether I laid on cold, uneven pavement, obliterated by the most destructive of wounds, or peacefully on a hospital bed surrounded by familiar faces, and that said volume’s ultimate flattening nature elevated my condition to the universal; universality spelled not from the extraordinariness of my current state, rather from the banality in which we all voyage to the certainty. As I said, the most beatific yet foreboding paradox we learn to forget is that of the intricacy of arrival and the clarity of departure. The absolute. Was it?
I aimlessly wandered through the mist. My movements were soundless. I wasn’t even sure how I was dawdling. I couldn’t feel my legs nor my body, for that matter. A creature compressed into a point moving uniformly. Was I moving at all? I was certain to be exerting friction against something, yet it comprised a fluctuant orbit around that pale ubiquity. My surroundings remained perfectly stagnant at all times, no gradations of light and shadow, as if I were staring at a blank image without blinking. My space-time perception had been irreparably marred. Minutes, days, months, years. I had no idea how long I’d been mechanically roaming within there, but I eventually sensed the slightest variation of color silhouetted deep into the unknown. A primordial curiosity knocked me out of my lifeless vagrancy. I made my way towards it.
I hadn’t noticed how unbearably nil my field of view was until the spot ahead of me grew larger. I noticed my dawdling had hatched into a slight spurt. Even at the edge of reality, can we not give up on the urge to conquer the unknown. Such is the most pristine quality of humans. The dot morphed into a bipedal figure as I closed in on it. I noticed it too was advancing towards me. Its teardrop-shaped head slowly split apart into an elongated horseshoe silhouette. From its seemingly rigid stance sprouted drapes fluttering about, according to its march. I slowed down and kept approaching it. Its humanoid form now flickered in the mist like a dark flame. It appeared to be quite shorter than me, about the same height as my chin. A newfound suspension had reignited my being long forgotten. The figure proceeded courtly. Collision inbound. My heart pumping thrill in my vacant essence. Until it fully emerged from the mist. I stopped abruptly, unable to comprehend. A fragment of my lost self? If so, why embody such an insignificant one over countless others?
“Why, my most excellent friend, do you stall now that this pall of dubiety has been lifted for us to converse? Come forth”, it spoke. A feminine voice erasing all perplexity. Benign but firm. It gestured for me to come closer. I stared with my eyes wide open. Everything crumbled to reveal the memory of a stubborn looking hand-drawn character standing in lush vegetation, a javelin-like needle drawn, advising me of the opposite. Through those same crevices out of which peered that vision I felt myself cascading back to replenish the endless void around me. Come no closer, ghost.
…Sed circumsiliens modo huc modo illuc Ad solam dominam usque pipiabat.
Hornet stood before me, her eyes sinking into her shell locked into mine. Though bottomless, I could read a sincere interest in her still gaze. She was wearing a white garment fastened with a girdle, her left hand retracted to hold the overfold. I could barely process what had happened up to that point. A videogame character, serving as some sort of seraphic entity in the afterlife. I couldn’t have strayed further away from rationality, I thought, without having to wind up on my way back. At the apex of my bewilderment she sneered.
“Tell me, what is it that you seek here?” It was uncanny to hear her voice speaking in perfect English, only knowing it through various war cries and incomprehensible speech.
Of the vehement swarm of words that were struggling to break through my teeth, not even one could roll down the palate. Hornet looked at me patiently.
“Let us rest here so that we may discuss without worrying about our bodily nuisances”, she continued. She lifted her garment and sat with her legs crossed. She cast no shadow that hinted at a hard surface even being there. I hesitantly kneeled down, my stomach now a turbine fearing the inevitable plunge into the infinity below. To my surprise, I felt an impossibly smooth pavement underneath my knees. No furrows to distract me. Not even the concept.
“So tell me, what is it that you seek here?”
“...How are you real?”
“To such a question I do not hold an answer, but in order for me to better submit to it and find one I would like you to explain what reality is.”
"This is not real. I'm dead and I'm talking to a character from a videogame! It’s impossible!"
"Although you seem to have initially mistaken substance for accident by elevating 'this' to an axiom of unreality, even though it is a declension of it, I rejoice at your final answer: if I understand you correctly, reality is not impossibility."
"Yes!"
"Therefore reality is possibility?"
"It must be. What else can it be?"
"A magnificent answer, but I feel that my brute ignorance is pawing to refute its unimpeachability. Tell me, do you not believe that as you get up in the morning, along with you arises the realization that somewhere else in the world, on another continent, for example, life continues to mill unequivocally, and with it all its possibilities?"
"Of course."
"While not knowing yourself what exactly those possibilities are?"
"Obviously."
"However, you take it for granted that such possibilities are reality, given that reality is possibility."
"Where are you going with this?"
"Well, if I told you that tomorrow said continent will sink into the ocean, would you believe me?"
"No."
"Why? Is it not also a possibility?"
"Because you have no objective evidence."
"And therefore real?"
"Indeed."
"So you are unwilling to accept the possibility I suggested because you have no reality on which to base yourself?"
"That's right."
"Then, my dearest friend, it follows that reality is that which is not possible."
"Wait, that's not what I meant. 'Possible', as in feasible, not statistically probable. They are synonyms."
"Didn't you just answer yourself? I beg you, my most splendid companion, tell me what reality is so that I may answer you."
"...Alright. Then reality is that which is current, every event and every entity that fills each instant in life."
"Surely it is plain that you know best, and this new definition seems to further quench my thirst for knowledge; but tell me, if it is every instant that is filled with reality, does that perhaps include future ones?"
"Necessarily."
"And do you happen to know how these actual events and entities will occupy the next instant?"
"No."
"So it remains a possibility until you have reached it."
"Apparently so..."
"But reality is that which is not possible."
"...Jesus Christ."
“Yet, according to your definition, for something to be real it must be able to fill every instant of life without exception, but according to what you say now future instants are but possibilities, and there will always be new ones left once the previous ones are turned to present; furthermore, since reality must occupy every instant of life, are not past ones also included?”
“Yes.”
“How can you be certain of it?”
“Because I know that they are not possibilities, since they happened.”
“But is not reality that which is current?”
“Alright, I didn't express myself well, but you know what I meant...”
“Do you thus believe that the past can be and not be the same thing at the same time?”
“No, but...”
“Therefore, insofar as I am allowed to replenish my drained basin of ignorance, reality is not that which is current, because it would involve the impossible. However, if it entails the impossible and therefore that which is not possible, would it not perhaps be reality, for reality is that which is not...”
“...Alright, I get it! I guess you are real then. There, settled. But this isn’t the Hornet I know. Not that I know of any Hornet other than a fictional, scripted one.”
“Were you expecting me to be preaching extravagant, blathering deities, wafted in a basket at the end of a rope?”
Hornet didn’t break eye contact once throughout the whole ordeal. I felt too muddled to try and elaborate the socratic dialogue I’d just taken part in. I torpidly stood back up, Hornet mimicking me although with far less apathy. She sighed and aimlessly contemplated the featureless landscape around us, nodding slightly. Her sphinxeus visage shielded an apparent turmoil.
“It appears to me”, she continued, “that you, as any man who’s worthy of calling himself so, long for the begrimed settlement we’ve yet to live in, and with it all the people who’ve yet to beget truth. For research isn’t over. It never is. The unexamined life is not worth living.”
“Maybe. What now?”
Hornet turned to me and took a few steps forward. She raised her right hand and examined it. I watched her curl it into a fist and unravel it as her inky, skeletal fingers shot back out. Within her frail but almost armored looking hand she seemed to be fighting a voiceless idea shrieking for a cause obedient to outside laws. She crimped her fingers slightly before holding her hand out to me.
“Now the hour of parting has arrived. I to die, you to live. Which of us goes to the better lot is known to no one, but the Higher Being.”
I stared at her puzzled. Her unreadable expression fixed into my soul. She ceremonially stuck her hand closer for me to hold. At the time I couldn’t have known I was about to sign an armistice between life and death. And with it I would’ve paid the price of seizing my existence from the end by irreversibly butchering it. I skeptically raised my hand until my fingertips brushed hers. Cold as metal, yet alive. Our hands limply wrapped around one another. A hiss pierced through my eardrums. They were melting. Hornet was launched nowhere into the horizon as everything folded in on itself. My eyes rolled out of my navel while my knees erupted from my shoulder blades. My epidermis stretched and torn while my bones rumbled inside my throat. My hands boiling hot and my feet icy-cold. I attempted to let out a cry of torment, but only my veins and fingernails branched out of my nostrils. Everything spun, everything railed, everything compressed. And then I was lying in the cold.
In nova fert animus mutatas dicere formas corpora [...]
Light was all I could see. Intolerably bright. My ears were ringing. I felt wrong. Something was missing. I was no longer in that void. I felt the biting rubbing of pavement along with an unpleasant, viscid sensation against my back. There were furrows. My limbs both laxed and stiff. I smelled the known breeze of the night. My only relief. The light’s fringes progressively withered back into their sources. Lamp posts. The neon signboard of the 7-11. The fluorescent lamps imbed above the fuel dispensers. I wanted to breathe out, only to find myself unable to. As if my vocal cords had been transplanted. I strained harder and felt a sting in my lungs. What left my mouth wasn’t me. An unfamiliar, brittle grunt faded into the night. My heart dropped. What happened.
I tried lifting my head, to which a man cried out nearby. His shout rattled to the deepest of my entrails. I caught a glance of Leth hurriedly picking up his shotgun and recoiling backwards. He was standing to my side. My view was yet too murky to make out his facial features, but within the washed-out shape of his pupils there ignited emotion far too lively for the dull eyes I’d seen on him earlier. A nude, primal terror sparked by something he couldn’t fathom. Looking at him, I slowly attempted to adjust into a sitting position. A blinding flash and a blare. My head hit the pavement. I was rammed to the ground by his shot. I let out a moan, more in shock than in agony. While unaltered in the nature of its intonation, it sounded horrifyingly mellifluous. I raised my hand to my forehead. It was an instinctual, usual movement. My dread only grew upon realizing I was dabbing my jaw. Phantom pain scorched where my wrist should’ve been. Above my fingers.
I heard a thud and a clank immediately followed by a distressed yelp. My head snapped to Leth's direction. My neck tingled. He'd tripped, dropping his shotgun. He was facing the opposite way. The shotgun awaiting in between. I had to. I got on my knees. I immediately lost my balance and fell flat on my face. I pushed myself upwards with my elbows. Red cloth hanging from my shoulders. Thin, jet black arms. What happened. What is happening. I looked up at Leth panickedly turning around. He writhed and crawled to the shotgun. I scraped against the pavement with my knees, sometimes merely grazing it. Why. I proceeded on all fours, uncoordinated. Leth wriggled desperately. Bulging eyes. Spitting. Grunting. I extended my arm, certain that I was now able to grab the shotgun’s stock. I did not reach. I screeched in frustration. In confusion. Who is this. Not male. I hurled my body forwards with one final effort as Leth stretched his hand to the barrel. I felt the grip of the stock and pulled backwards. I curled into a fetal position. Leth’s forfeited expression. A blinding flash and a blare.
My chest puffed and deflated erratically, my breastbone aching from the recoil. Leth tumbled to the ground. I gasped for air, finally uncaring for the eerily feminal timbre of my voice. My throat itched whenever I exhaled. What happened. The answer laid right below my chin. Too afraid to know. The unknown. ‘Such is the most pristine quality of humans.’ I stared at the lights hanging over me. Please, if there is a God. Let this be false. I gathered all courage in my body and glanced at my torso, holding my breath. My veins petrified. I was wearing a red gown with no sleeves, from the bottom of which emerged two slender yet sturdy legs black as ink, terminating into footless tips. Far too short. The ceiling lights shone against them. To my horror, the left one shuddered as I twitched. I looked at my hand. The same hand I was holding just moments earlier. Shaking, I let it glide across my face. There were no bumps of any sort. My hand kept gliding upwards. I quivered, nestling my limbs towards my core in disquiet. How. Why.
I wailed hushedly and awkwardly stood up. I was much shorter than I should’ve been. My eye level where my center of gravity once was. I tiptoed to the 7-11’s entrance one step at a time. My body didn’t occupy the amount of space it should've. Everything felt wrong. I spotted a dot cloddishly approaching in the reflection of the glass door. The irony. I bumbled towards it, my proprioception skewed beyond reparation. Is this it. Is that what my life is now. I ignored Leth as I almost reached the door. Do I have to learn to live like this. What am I. How can I learn. The dot started dyeing itself in a sickening, unmistakable hue of white and red. Why me. How. What am I. I’m not real. I’m human. What is this. Why.
I stood before the glass door. Hornet was staring back from the reflection.
TO BE CONTINUED

Hello everyone ! My new script :
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~First of all, some information about the script :~
I don't mind monetization, but I'd like to be credited.
If certain elements written in the script cause problems during recording, I'm fine with minor adjustments (rephrasing sentences, adding reactions), as long as they preserve the original meaning of the script. All actions involving sound additions (noises, music, etc.) are not obligatory, but they can contribute to immersion in the story. The important thing is that the listener understands what's going on.
Also : English is not my first language, so don't hesitate to let me know if the script contains any errors, either in the writing or in the construction of the story.
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Context :
You're a cruel, machiavellian villain, and above all, very powerful. But to devise your nefarious plans, you always need the help of your accomplice. Unlike you, they are somewhat more reserved when it comes to matters of massacres and destruction. However, they remain loyal to you, unable to resist following you, no matter your actions. However, they are very clumsy, which sometimes complicates your plans of world annihilation…
Estimated audio length : 6-12min
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[The scene takes place in the lair of the Listener, who is a great villain]
[The room is very quiet as the Listener focuses on setting up their new diabolical plan]

[The Speaker is a bit bored and hums, as if to get the Listener's attention]
(The Listener tells them to stop.)

Speaker (a bit sulky) : Alright, alright, I'll stop humming...
Speaker : But I'm so bored ! And you seem so tense... I thought some music might lighten the mood.
(...)

Speaker : Is it the elaboration of your new machiavellian plan that's stressing you out so much ?
(...)

Speaker : I see... But you know you can always count on me !
[They become more enthusiastic]

Speaker : I'm ready to go with you to the ends of the earth ! I'll always be there to support your plans, no matter what.
[They are now very close to the cabinets containing the equipment]

Speaker : I promise that I-
[They knock over an object, sound of crashing or glass breaking]

Speaker (confused) : Oops...
Speaker (embarrassed) : Uh...
(...)

Speaker : Hopefully it wasn't something important... haha...
(The Listener gets annoyed)

Speaker : Hmm... what ? Was that your new invention ?
(...)

Speaker (panicked) : I... I'm sorry ! Let me help you fix it !
(The Listener refuses)
(...)

Speaker (disappointed) : Okay, okay, I won't touch anything anymore...
[The Listener picks up, a brief silence ensues]
(…)

Speaker (curious) : Sooo, about this plan... Can you tell me more ?
(...)
Speaker (excited) : You know what ? Let me guess !
[The Speaker thinks]

Speaker : Are you planning to use an army of teddy bears ? Oh no ! Even better, bubble guns !
Speaker (more passionate) : Oh, I know I know ! You're planning to turn everyone into chicks for a day ! That would be really terrible ! (laughs)
(...)

Speaker : None of that ?
(...)
(The Listener explains their plan)
(...)

Speaker (listening to the Listener) : Kill everyone ?
(...)

Speaker : Cut them up, torture them, and finish them off ?
(...)

Speaker : Uh... well, that's a bit excessive...
Speaker (a bit panicked) : A...are you sure we have to go to such extremes haha...?
(...)

Speaker : No, no, far be it from me to question your ingenuity...
Speake: All your plans are resounding successes, and you are the most respected villain in these parts.
(...)

Speaker : I particularly remember the day you froze an entire city. I almost ended up as an ice cube myself...
Speaker : Or the day you turned the king of the neighboring kingdom into a blobfish...
[They laugh]

Speaker (laughing) : Well, I admit that was rather funny
(...)

Speaker : But... but maybe this time we could be... more merciful ?
(The Listener questions him)

Speaker : Well, I don't know... Instead of killing them, could we just put them into a coma ?
Speaker : Or inject them with a paralyzing poison, leading to a quick death ?
(...)

Speaker (enthusiastic) : You're going to think about it ? Really ?
[They hug the Listener]

Speaker : Thank you, Your Villainy ! You're really very generous !
(...)

[They realize what they've done]
Speaker (confused/embarrassed) : I...I'm sorry, I'll let go of you immediately !
(...)

Speaker (happy) : Anyway, I'm grateful that you're taking my opinion into account. Speaker : We've been working together for so long...
Speaker : And even though I was just a simple assistant at first, you trusted me, and I became your right-hand man/woman !
(...)

Speaker : It's an honor for me to work with such a competent Villain
(...)
Speaker : Hm ? Do you need me to test some of the equipment ?
Speaker (enthusiastic) : Of course ! Count on me !
[The Listener takes out a box, the Speaker continues their monologue]

Speaker : I'm your superb sidekick after all, faithful, devoted, and-
[The Listener takes out an iron object with spikes] (...)

Speaker (shocked) : Uh, excuse me, but... you're not testing that thing on me, right ?
(...)
Speaker : But... it looks quite dangerous... with all those spikes. I might get hurt !
Speaker (panicked) : I...I appreciate you a lot, but I think that's my limit...
(The Listener tries to convince them)

Speaker : Will you give me a kiss ? On the forehead ?
Speaker (hides his joy) : As if that's going to convince me ! I'm not crazy ! I've almost died several times following your orders...
(...)

Speaker (gives in) : Fine, alright...
[The Listener puts the spiked equipment on the Speaker, possible to add iron/chain noises]

Speaker : Well for now it's okay, it doesn't hurt too much...
(...)

Speaker : Uh, I don't know if this is normal but I can't feel my legs anymore
Speaker (starting to feel pain) : Stop, stop, take it off me right now !!
[The Listener removes the equipment]

Speaker : My god, that hurts like hell... I think this equipment passed the test
(...)

[The Listener looks for tools]
Speaker (panicked) : Wait wait ! What if I choose the next object, huh ?
Speaker (enthusiastic) : This flower, for example ! It's quite pretty and it looks harmless !
(...)

Speaker (notices something) : Well, except for its teeth ? Wait... a flower with teeth ?
(...)
Speaker : Well apart from that it's pretty normal, and it smells so good ! Why is it with your weapons ?
(...)
(The Listener panics)

Speaker : Huh ? Don't breathe in too much pollen ?
Speaker (amused) : Haha, that's cute of you to worry but I'm not allergic !
(Listener insists)

Speaker : Okay, I'll give you back your plant, it's fine-
[They sneeze, sending pollen onto the Listener]

Speaker (confused) : Oh my god, I'm sorry ! You have pollen all over your face ! I.…I'll clean that up !
Speaker : Let me get a tissue...
[They turn around and rummages in a bag]

[They turn back to the Listener but doesn't see them]
Speaker (worried/perplexed) : Your Villainy...? Where are you ?
[They search for a few seconds]

Speaker : I hear noises but I don't see you...
(...)

Speaker : Oh. There you are !
(...)

Speaker : Huh, you were taller in my memories...
(…)
Speaker : Wait... You've shrunk !! How is that possible ?
(The Listener explains)

Speaker : The pollen... Is that one of its properties ?
Speaker : I'm so sorry... You told me to be careful...
(...)
Speaker : You've always been good to me, yet I've ruined everything...
(...)

Speaker (surprised) : You forgive me if I follow the steps to make the antidote exactly ?
Speaker (grateful) : Thank you for giving me another chance ! I promise I'll make you return to your normal appearance !
(...)

Speaker : Here, let me carry you on my shoulder, it'll be easier for you to give me the instructions
Speaker : My goodness, you've become so tiny... It's just adorable !
[They take a closer look at the Listener]

Speaker : With your little arms, your little legs ! Ahh... I'm melting !
(…)

Speaker : Well, the good thing is that your clothes shrunk along with you...
Speaker : If this hadn't been the case...
(…)

Speaker (embarrassed) : I...I wasn't thinking anything at all !
(...)
Speaker : Let's continue...
(The Listener explains the steps of the antidote)

Speaker (more motivated) : Okay, so first we need to grind some newborn bones into powder...
[They execute it]

Speaker : Perfect !
Speaker : Then... add a few fairy heads...
Speaker (laughs) : They have funny faces haha...
[They mix]

Speaker : Now the most important part, we need to incorporate some saliva from the plant into our mixture...
[Speaker collects the saliva]

Speaker (disgusted) : Yuck...
Speaker : And now we blend !
[They blend // dont need to add sound here]

Speaker : Ta-da ! So, how did I do ?
Speaker (laughs) : Great ! Now... cheers...
[Speaker hands a glass containing the liquid to the Listener]

Speaker : Judging by your expression, it doesn't seem very good...
Speaker : How do you feel ?
(...)

(Listener starts to grow)
Speaker (excited) : It...it's working!

Speaker (realizing something ): Wait, you...you're still in my arms... [
The listener returns to their normal size]
(...)

Speaker : Well...the main thing is that you've returned to your normal size...
Speaker (cute) : We did it !
(...)

Speaker : I need to let you go now ? Uh...are you sure you're not forgetting something ?
(…)
[The listener kisses the speaker on the forehead]

Speaker (content) : Hehe, thank you
Speaker (gentler) : I'm still sorry for everything, I'll try to be a better associate in the future...
(...)

Speaker : You seem tired... Let me carry you to bed
(Listener protests)

Speaker : No need to protest ! You need energy to annihilate the world !
[The speaker carries the listener and lays them down in bed]
(...)

Speaker (touched) : Goodnight, Your Villainy… Thank you for allowing me to remain your associate...
Speaker (whispering) : Have wonderful nightmares...
(End)
---------
Author's note: I should probably take a break.

Previous First Next
(Story is available on Royal Road and for pre-order on Amazon.)
Dinner was even better tasting than lunch, with mom and Bastion ravenously devouring their favorite meal, it having been carefully prepared by Amelie and my father.
For a while, everything finally felt like it had used to and for a bit I felt like things weren’t changing too fast for me to keep up.
After lunch, Bastion had even taken me outside during the midday and corrected some of my misunderstandings about the first-form of the fiend-hunter style. Much like father, he was much better at explaining things than our mom was. Or rather, maybe it was more accurate to say he believed in taking more time to explain them out loud that our mother did; mom had a tendency to believe words and explanations were best expressed through action and repetition.
I’d then gone on to train with Rosaria in the woods. I’d snuck my mother’s practice swords out with me, just like I’d done nearly every day in the past few years.
Across from me stood a blue-black haired girl of nine years. In her hand Rosaria held the sword my mother usually used during training.
I went on the attack first.
“Aha!” I exhaled as I swung my blade in a sideways sweep toward Rosaria.
“Strike redirection,” Rosaria calmly spoke.
Her blade met mine. I just barely managed to keep a hold of my sword and to shuffle off to the side following her well-timed parry.
“Direct execution!” I shouted, as I did my best to imitate mother’s movements.
Thanks to my born trait, I could see mother performing the move a thousand times over in my mind’s eye, like afterimages overlapping my own smaller body. My own blade shot forward towards Rosaria’s chest. However, I couldn’t properly replicate something that I couldn’t place in my mother’s movements; something that I felt went beyond my mere lack of aura.
“Disarming parry,” Rosaria spoke the name of the third form as my blade hit hers.
My fellow eleven-year old’s arm spun in an arc, gaining leverage against my frontal assault and sent my blade veering off to the side.
I managed to keep my weapon in my hand, once more, but I was definitely now off balance.
She came at me then. She was more violent in her movements than I was, but somehow much calmer all the same.
We exchanged blows, again and again, until we were both panting.
“Direct execution,” Rosaria said aloud, as I’d missed a diagonal slash I'd sent against her thanks to a quick, fractional backstep she'd performed beautifully.
Her blade touched my chest. There was no pain. She’d been gentle and yet slipped past my defenses all the same.
“Darn,” I said and stood up straight. “You win again.”
We were both covered in sweat.
“Yeah…” Rosaria said.
I blinked. There was something different in her tone today.
“You alright?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she repeated.
“Well, okay,” I said.
“Hey, Pery?” she asked.
“Yes?” I asked.
“You’ll be twelve tomorrow,” she said.
“I know? Why do you sound sad, Rosaria?” I asked.
“Well, your big brother came all this way for your party…” Rosaria said.
What was she getting at? Bastion had come because he’d found the time and wasn’t deployed currently.
“He’s not stationed in the borderlands anymore, but you didn’t tell me why you’re upset? I don’t understand,” I admitted.
Rosaria shook her head. “It’s nothing.”
That was all that we said. The girl had been a little down for the rest of the day, but she refused to tell me why. I went to bed a bit confused by it, but the day had mostly been good.
Dinner, the next day, however, was nowhere near as peaceful as it had been the night before. The table was set with a banquet, more or less. This time the main meal was my favorite food, black-horn stag backstrap, with a brown-berry and sugar sauce.
“So, what do you think?” Bastion asked me, continuing the conversation that had half of the table riled up.
My mother was pouting, her hand on her cheek.
My father looked somewhat like he’d been dreading having this conversation, clearly a bit annoyed by mom’s show of her displeasure.
Bastion had offered to take me into his household, as a squire, and to possibly even secure me a place in Duke Vembrandt’s service once I’d reached fifteen.
“I don’t know,” I replied.
“He can learn everything he needs with me,” Mother said. “When he’s older he can join the guild and make his own way. He needs to decide for himself who he wants to be, not be groomed into it.”
“Your circumstances were a little different, Celis. You didn’t have all the options or resources that our sons do,” my father said. “We had this same conversation when Bastion came of age.”
“And what about the magic he’s so good at? You always say he has potential. Why waste that by being a knight?” my mother challenged, her cheek coming off her palm momentarily as she became a bit more heated. “What is Bastion going to teach him of magic?”
Bastion crossed his arms, respectfully observing the squabble between our parents, but not yet deigning to speak.
“He’s been learning druidry very well, but I feel as if his talents would be perfect for more arcane magics. His innate trait makes him practically born to learn magical theory and memorize incantations and theory,” father answered. “Frankly, I think he’d be better served learning from the towers in Highmount.”
The towers? My father had mentioned them to me before. Highmount held four towers of magical study and was second in the kingdom only to the University of Arcaneum in the floating citadel-capitol of Heavenfall.
“Hmph,” mother replied.
“You can’t keep our children stuck here forever,” my father said, “you already learned that once.”
“I think we should let him choose,” Bastion finally said and turned his attention to me. “Pery, I’ve already talked it over with Samantha and the Grandmaster of my order. Samantha is happy to have you; honestly I think she wants a practice run at having a kid around,” the man smiled a bit at that, “and the grandmaster is more than happy to accept such a talented youth,” Bastion then indicted his head towards our dad. “Father also tells me that with a letter of recommendation from him you’ll have a good shot at being accepted into the towers on a trial basis.”
“And what if I want to be an adventurer?” I asked.
Mother’s red eyebrows perked up at that comment.
“Well…” Bastion paused.
“The towers allow leaves of absences in your classes for guild work, if that was what you wished.; it’s an arrangement they have with the guild since it contributes so much to the local economy and helps keep the peace,” father answered and then nodded to me and then my mother. “Bastion, would he have time to do that as your squire?”
Bastion cradled his chin in thought. “You wouldn’t be able to take any jobs that would reflect badly on the Host, but I could probably pass it off as training. You’d still have to fulfil your duties as a squire as well, however. As well as training on the days you’re not working on a contract and before or after your classes at the towers. It’s a lot to have on your plate at your age.”
“He can feel it out when he arrives in Highmount,” father said, “ and get comfortable in his new environment and his studies, before he decides if he wants to join the Adventurer’s Guild.”
“Should’ve led with that,” Mother said, seemingly in a better mood as she brought her fork to her mouth and began to chew the last piece of backstrap on her wooden plate. “As long as he knows he has a choice.”
“I just wanted to hear Bastion’s take on Pery joining the guild and what Pery had to say about all this,” father explained. “Pery, you can think about it over dinner and let us know your decision; like your mother said: it's your choice. But for now... should we move on to the gifts?”
“No!” a small voice brought the atmosphere of the room back to a higher pitch.
Everyone’s eyes shot to Rosario, as she clutched the tablecloth in her hands. Tears were in her eyes.
“Rosaria…” Amelie said her daughters name in a concerned, quiet tone.
“I don’t want Pery to go!” Rosaria shouted. “He’s my best friend! We were going to be adventurers together?”
“Hm?” my mother mused and raised her gaze from her nearly fully consumed food to settle on the little girl.
I glanced to the girl. I hadn’t even thought of what Rosaria might think of me leaving. I’d been so concerned with myself once I'd heard everything the adults had to say. What could she be thinking? She would turn twelve a few weeks after me. Now that I thought about it, what future did she have to look forward to? Hadn’t we talked about exploring the world together when we were older? From her perspective, I guess it might look like I was abandoning her and that dream. I hadn’t been trying to though… I’d just been caught up in all the options my family was presenting me with.
Father looked to Amelie.
The woman leaned towards her daughter. “Pery is twelve now, he needs to start preparing for his future, Rosaria.”
“But… we were going to be adventurers,” Rosaria repeated herself and a dual stream of tears began to roll down her cheeks; I'd never seen that much emotion from my friend, not ever.
“Being an adventure is dangerous,” my father said to the girl softly and with empathy.
Rosaria, usually mild mannered and sweet, closed her eyes shut, as if gather everything up inside herself, and then met my father’s gaze strongly.
“I can do it if Pery can!” she shouted. “He taught me how to fight!”
My father’s face grew uncharacteristically surprised at that statement.
My mother just smiled. “I knew it.”
“Have you trained her, Celis?” my father asked, giving a worried glance to Amelie.
“Not one bit,” my mother admitted and shrugged, “but around when I started training Pery, she started holding herself differently. Hard to see it when she’s usually so shy, but there’s something there.”
My face reddened. It was true. I’d taught Rosaria everything mother had taught me. We’d kept it a secret for exactly one reason…
“That’s not possible,” Amelie said. “I told her she couldn’t train in the sword when Lady Borncrest offered.” The maid turned her eyes to her daughter. “Your father died because of a guild contract. There’s no reason for you to go into something like that. Magister Borncrest promised he’d find you a good match when you come of age and—”
Rosaria bunched up the tablecloth in her hands. “I don’t want to just be a wife.”
I felt a pang in my heart. Amelie was mad at her because of me. Everyone was looking at Rosaria now. As she cried, also because of me.
“Um, she wanted to learn,” I said slowly.
Amelie lowered her gaze; I’d never seen her that upset with me; worse, there was sadness in her eyes. “That wasn’t your decision, young master.”
“Just how good is she?” Bastion asked with curiosity in his voice, though he kept his voice lower out of respect for Amelie.
“She’s better than him,” my mother commented, not explaining how she knew or what she saw in Rosaria that could reveal that to her.
Hearing that hurt me a little, but it might’ve been true. Rosaria and I were pretty close, but… then again, I’d learned from mother, a near-master at the sword, whereas Rosaria had only had me as a teacher and, yet, she’d always kept up with me.
“I see,” Bastion mused, his voice trailing in thought.
Nor did my father question my mother’s statement; he had always shown a complete trust in her instincts and appraisals of others when it came to the sword.
Silence hung in the air for a moment.
“Amelie, if that’s true, your daughter has a talent,” my father said slowly.
Amelie didn’t reply for a long while. “I don’t want her to be hurt.”
“…”
“Miss Amelie?” I asked.
The widowed maid looked at me, her face calmed somewhat by my apologetic tone. “Yes?”
“Could Rosaria please come with me? My big brother is really strong and I promise I’ll always protect her. She’s my best friend,” I pleaded.
Rosaria’s eyes looked at me in surprise. She sniffled once as her eyes met mine.
Amelie exhaled heavily. I also didn't think I’d ever seen her sigh like that; she was usually such a calm, nurturing woman.
“That would be a burden on Sir Bastion,” the maid replied. “He can’t be expected to house and train a child that isn’t his relation.”
I hadn’t even thought of that. I had just wanted to make Rosaria feel better. Maybe it’d been a selfish of me to offer. I definitely had no right to make the decision for Bastion. Nevertheless, I looked to my brother then with pleading eyes.
Bastion tilted his head and me and then nodded as if he’d made a decision.
“Actually, miss, it wouldn’t,” Bastion offered, “I don’t mean to presume to decide for you, but if she’s actually that skilled then my order would be wrong to not take in such a talent. Only, however, if she had your blessing and if she wanted that.”
“I—” Amelie paused. She looked between the people at the table. Her daughter, who was looking at her with tear-filled eyes, but now with a gaze of heartbreak turned to hope. My father, whose face remained as neutral as he could manage. My mother, who looked on with a pointed interest. And myself, whose every expression just wanted his friend to be able to follow her dreams--our dreams. Ultimately, though, the maid looked down to her daughter. “Is this what you want?”
Rosaria looked at her mother and then to me. I forced a smile on my face towards her. She spared a glance at my mother, who just peered at her inquisitively as if excited to see what decision she’d make. When she looked at Bastion, the man just smiled at her as if she was his own little sister.
“I want to go with Pery and his brother,” Rosaria said. “I don’t want to make you sad, mother, but I really want to go.”
Amelie's upset expression drifted into a soft face that bore as much past sadness as it did a mother’s kindness. “You’ll be twelve soon. I guess this is your only real chance to start training at the same time as everyone else… you do have your father’s eyes and that look in them... his look. I shouldn’t be surprised they’re also looking to the same things as his did.”
“So can she go?” I asked.
“Pery,” my father scolded me.
“Can I?” Rosaria asked her mother, as if she were a bit scared Amelie would change her tune abruptly—even if that wasn’t something that her mother generally did.
“Is it really all right, Sir Bastion?” Amelie asked my brother.
“We’ll protect her and we'll teach her to protect herself as well,” my brother said; his face was solemn and serious as he made the promise; his usual carefree manner was suppressed by the strength of conviction in his words.
“She can visit me?” Amelie asked.
“I’ll make sure she comes here with myself and Pery as often as we can,” Bastion promised.
Amelie blinked. Her own eyes were wet now, just like her daughter's.
“You have to promise to be careful,” the maid said to Rosaria.
“I will, mom,” Rosaria promised.
“Okay then,” Amelie said, giving in.
“Really?” Rosaria asked, her voice cracking in surprise.
“I can’t treat you like a little girl who can’t make her own decisions forever,” Amelie said, “but you are still my little songbird.”
The nickname was something she called Rosaria seldomly, but always with great affection. Other than being quite good with the sword, the quiet girl possessed a beautiful voice—as if her usual reserved nature was a product of her saving the power of her words for when she sang. It was a talent she shared with Amelie, who would often sing the two of us to sleep whenever we all assembled to sleep around the family hearth on especially cold, winter nights or on feast days.
“Thank you, mom,” Rosaria said. “I didn’t mean to make you upset about father.”
“You just reminded me of him,” Amelie said as she touched her daughter’s cheek softly. “It’s not a bad sadness right now.”
“Miss Amelie?” I spoke up with a tone of respect; this time, my father didn’t cut me off. “I’m sorry too.”
Amelie drew her hand back from Rosaria’s cheek and shook her head at me. “I know you didn’t mean to, young master.”
“Well, that was dramatic,” my mother said with a sweet smile on her face; it wasn’t so much sarcastic as it was diffusing.
Amelie chuckled a bit, some of the nostalgic loss fading from her eyes. “Yes, my lady, I guess it was.”
I knew that Amelie and my mother were very good friends, despite their very different personalities. Mother always seemed to know exactly what to say to the other woman to get her to smile.
“It’s really all right,” my father said to Amelie, then looked to me momentarily with a gaze that was contemplative. I figured I might be hearing about all this later.
“It all worked out in the end,” Bastion said, before addressing the maid’s daughter directly. “I promise you’ll find my household to be a place of safety and opportunity, young miss, but I will be strict when it comes to teaching you the sword and the bearing of a member of the Host.” Bastion turned his gaze to me. “That goes for both of you. You won’t get many breaks with all that you’re planning to do, Pery. I won’t create half-baked knights, or swordsmen if either of you choose to not go down my own path when your fifteenth birthdays come.”
“I understand,” I nodded to Bastion, trying my best to make it appear solemn and serious.
“Right!” Rosaria said when my brother’s gaze returned to her.
Bastion’s face softened at our responses. “Samantha will love both of you.”
I’d never met my brother’s wife. As the daughter of the Duke, she didn’t often leave Highmount. However, Bastion always had the softest and most enthralled look on his face when he spoke of her; I figured that she just had to be an amazing woman. I just hoped she wouldn’t be mad that her husband would be bringing home two children and not just one.
“Weren’t we going to move on to giving Pery his presents?” Amelie suddenly interjected. “I fear I may have derailed his day.”
“As long as you’re alright now, Amelie?” my father said to the woman.
“I’m really fine,” the maid replied.
“Let’s give him the sword first,” my mother said.
“My gift will take some time for him to get through, so I think that would be best,” my father agreed.
“Right,” Bastion said and stood. “I’ll go get it from my room.”
“And while you’re doing that,” my mother walked to a nearby cupboard and opened it, before withdrawing a small wooden box, “I’ll be the first to give my little man a present.”
“I’ll begin to clear the table,” Amelie stood and said.
“I’ll help you in a moment,” my father said, clearly very interested in watching me open my mother’s gift.
My mother walked to me and presented the small wooden jewelry box.
“What is it?” I asked as I took it in my hand.
“That’s a dumb question,” my mother said with a carefree, happy tone, “just open it and find out. It’s yours now.”
I guess she was right. My mother’s words didn’t hurt me too badly; I was used to their blunt quality. She didn’t mean anything by it and she did look very happy to hand the box over.
I opened the jewelry box, only to be met with the sight of a silver ring set with a swirling red stone.
“It looks amazing,” I said, not really knowing what exactly I was looking at.
“It’s a crystalized eye from the first and only dragon me and your father ever slew,” my mother said. “That fight ended our adventuring days, but it was the most exhilarating battle of my life. It’s worth a small fortune, so sell it if you ever get in a bind, okay? Oh, it’ll also help you learn fire magic or something like that,” my mother waived her hand as she explained that as if it had no interest to her, “ask your father.”
I reached out and grabbed the ring from the box. I could feel a heat from it.
“Put it on, son,” my father urged me, before he coughed strongly once.
I looked at my father with some concern in my eyes, before he held up a hand to say he was okay. My mother’s gaze shot to him as well.
“I’m alright,” he promised. “It’s just one of those days.”
I knew the fight my mother was talking about. Most of her and dad’s party had died in their fabled battle to protect Highmount from Angoralix, the red dragon. Mother had broken nearly every bone in her body and dad… well, dad had never fully recovered.
In his gratitude, Duke Vembrandt had offered my father a role as a local magister, a title traditionally held by scholars and mages and one that was akin to a mix between a fief-holding authority and a judge; meanwhile, my mother had been given an honorary knighthood. Then they’d had Bastion and, after a long few years, me.
I was conflicted about my thoughts on the story. Neither my father or my mother could put into words how vicious the battle with Angoralix had been, but they tried. My father used it as a talking point to explain a man’s duty to protect the world around him, whereas my mother held it up as the defining climax to her career as an adventurer and a lesson on the importance of raw strength.
I loved hearing their stories of when they were younger, but the ending of this one had left my father somewhat crippled. He also aways spoke of it with a bit of sadness; not for himself, but for the friends of many years he had lost that day. I’d asked mom about it once and all she’d said was that they’d had good lives and good deaths.
My attention in this moment, however, was on the ring—now that my father had confirmed he was okay, and come out of his coughing fit. I slipped it on my hand, finding it to fit my right index finger well enough, and felt a surge of warming energy pass up my body. The power settled in my soulcore, mixing with my mana, before the sensation of anything being out of the ordinary faded away.
“Thank you, mom and dad. I know this must mean a lot to you two,” I said.
“Well, it was nice trophy, but I can’t use it or anything. Still, that’s your first enchanted item, now do your best to earn it, yeah?” my mother told me.
“I will,” I answered.
I didn’t know any fire magic, but I wasn’t against learning it; I was mostly just curious about the magics I hadn’t been exposed to yet. Dad didn’t use fire. He knew druidry and had some shamanistic magics he’d never taught me. Something about me not being ready to make deals with spirits or elementals. His druidic magics allowed him to control nature, along with animals, and to shapeshift. He could also control the wind to a shocking degree, but that didn’t come from the druidry.
Just as I was thanking my parents, Bastion came back to the dining hall. He was carrying the same sword-shaped bundle of cloth that he’d scolded me for looking at the other day.
“Here we go,” he said and handed me the bundle. “Pointy end is this way, so grab it from the bottom side so you can unsheathe it easily.”
This was the present I was most excited for. A real sword all my own and one my brother himself had used in his youth. Maybe it would help me to reach the competent tier in swordsmanship and beyond, just like he had.
I excitedly and reverently began to unwrap the blade. It was sheathed within a dark, blue leather scabbard. I didn’t waste much time in pulling it out. My first sight of the blue-steel blade had my heart racing. It was a hand and a half sword, but it was perfect for me and the metal of the weapon gleamed brilliantly in the dying sunlight from the nearby arched, wood-framed windows. As I finished unwrapping the blade, I caught side of the shining, circular jewel that was set in its cross guard; the gem had the luster of a ruby and the color of an emerald.
“It’s amazing,” I said to my parents and brother.
I knew Mytharis’ story. It was the weapon my mother’s best friend, an elven woman who had died in the fight with the same dragon whose eye I now wore held. She’d been the agile type, but had preferred to wield a small buckler, unlike my mother, so she’d preferred a smaller blade as well. The woman had fought side by side with my mother on the frontlines of their party, until she’d died taking the majority of the blow that had permanently wounded my father.
“Seelie saved my life while holding that blade; she split the majority of the dragon’s fire down the middle with it but wasn’t quick enough to get it entirely diverted around us,” my father said. “I thank her every day for what she did and the family she’s allowed me to have. I hope it protects you as she used it to protect me and our friends.”
With the way he talked of her, my father very well could of offered prayers to the woman if she'd been a human and had he been an especially religious man. It was common practice to revere the deceased and to worship those of them that had lived glorious or meaningful lives. The saints were the honored dead that the faith of many recognized, but many families had patrons of their own. Particularly, I knew that Seelie’s bones and ashes were buried under the foundations of our house to provide us her protection, despite her being an elf; that had been my mother’s doing, though, since the elf had possessed no family to speak of and considered my mother the closest thing to a sister that she had.
“It’s a good weapon. Seelie would be happy that you boys have been putting it to good use,” Mother said. “If you grow out of it, or want something bigger, I expect you to pass it down to someone worthy.”
“I understand, mom,” I said and then addressed my brother. “Thank you, Bastion.”
“You’re welcome, kid. It helped me get a grip on using aura before I could really produce my own. I’d still be using It if I didn’t prefer a slightly shorter blade and a shield,” Bastion explained. “The jewel there stores up a little bit of you strength whenever your holding it. The stronger your aura gets the faster it can gather up whatever extra you’ve got leaking out of you. Whenever you need to cut a little bit harder, just imagine the blade releasing all that power from the handle and it’ll come in handy.”
“Really? How much can it do that?” I asked.
“Well, it’s all about how high your physical attributes are,” Bastion explained. “For you it’ll probably take about a month to charge it up for one use and that’s only if you’re training with it ever day.”
“Oh, so it’s more like a special thing to use?” I asked.
“Don’t look so glum, kid. It gets a lot handier the stronger you get. Every time you raise all your physical attributes up by one level, it’ll cut that time in half,” Bastion explained. “You’ve got to work for things in life.”
“So, I do need cores,” I said.
“Let’s focus on getting your swordsmanship to competent first, if we stumble on any monsters before that then we can talk,” Bastion said. “You can’t get the most out of a level two attribute until you’ve gotten yourself a matching proficiency.”
“I understand,” I promised. “I just want to be strong like you guys.”
“You will be,” Bastion said. “You’re already plenty strong.”
“I really love the sword,” I said.
“Good,” Bastion said.
“Don’t go breaking it,” mother said.
I laughed. “I won’t.”
I looked to Rosaria then, noticing that she was starring at the blade with wide eyes.
“Do you want to hold it?” I asked her.
“Yes!” she said and the acted as if she had surprised herself with her enthusiastic answer. “Really? Can I?”
“Yeah, really,” I said, just happy to see my friend wasn’t upset anymore.
Rosaria wiped the remaining tears from her face and then reached for the sword, before stopping and looking at her tear-soaked hands. “Um, sorry.”
The little girl quickly looked for something to wipe her hands on.
“You can use the cloth it came in,” I offered.
“Right,” Rosaria said and did just that, removing the tears and snot from her hands, looking somewhat embarrassed as she did so.
“Here you go,” I said and re-offered Mytharis to her.
Rosaria took my birthday gift into her hand with something approaching reverence. For a little while, the girl just stared at it. “It’s so simple, but pretty.”
I cocked my head to the side and looked at the blade as she explained her take on it. She had a point. Mytharis was a simple blade, but it just looked nice. Sturdy and unadorned, save for the green jewel in its cross-guard; as it was, there was a certain elegance and quality to the weapon.
I looked to the dragon-eye ring on my finger. The white-gold band that the enchanted stone, once a dragon’s eye, sat on had a number of elven runes on it. I hadn’t really looked at them too strongly, but dad had taught me how to read the script about a year ago, saying it would come in handy if I ever decided to pursue magic further.
‘Flame’ one rune read.
‘King’s’ I puzzled out the next rune.
‘Eye’ the third rune proclaimed.
‘Made’ the fourth and second to last said.
‘Man’s’ the final rune declared.
What could that possibly mean? The runes hummed with something magical. I could feel that much, but I also didn’t have the knowledge necessary to really understand any of it. Probably something to do with the helping someone learn fire magic that my mother had mentioned? Red dragons were good at using flame-attuned mana; everyone knew that. I wasn't all that surprised that a magic item made from one's body could help with that too.
Regardless, the ring had a certain attractive quality to it, just like Mytharis, though they held a very different mood about them.
Maybe all magic items had that sort of attractive gleam to them?
“I’ll get you a sword of your own when we get back to the order house, Rosaria,” Bastion promised my friend, drawing my attention back to them.
Rosaria moved her focus from my new sword and up to my brother with surprise. “Thank you very much, sir.”
Bastion nodded. “Of course.”
“It’s a really nice sword, Pery. Thank you too,” she said to me as the biggest smile overtook her red-eyed face, seeming to mean like she was thanking me for more than just letting her hold the blade.
My dad raised himself from the table and came to stand behind me, resting a hand on my shoulder. “I think it’s my turn to give you a gift, Pery. Are you ready?”
I turned to my dad as Rosaria handed me my sword back gently.
“Ready for what, dad?” I asked him.
“Let’s go to my study,” he said.
What could my dad be meaning to give me? One of his books? Regardless, I was excited. I was never allowed in dad’s study unless he was present. He said there were things within it that child should not know, especially one that could memorialize anything he saw permanently in his memory.
“Alright,” I said. “Is my present there?”
“That’s right, it is. Come along then, son; you can bring your sword,” he said.
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(Story is available on Royal Road and for pre-order on Amazon.)

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom is a wacky film, but it’s not unwatchable. It’s the kind of hot mess you can’t peel your eyes away from. However, those are about the only good things I have to say about it.
The movie starts with Arthur Curry/Aquaman (Jason Momoa) in what should be domestic bliss. He and Mera (Amber Heard) are married with an infant son. They split time with his father (Temuera Morrison) on land and as Atlantean royalty below the sea. Arthur loves being a dad, but has grown to hate being a king, constantly thwarted by a governing council who still view him as an outsider that favors humans.
Meanwhile, Dr. Stephen Shin (Randall Park), a scientist working for vengeful David Kane aka Black Manta (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II), makes a horrifying discovery on the ocean floor while searching for Atlantis: A powerful trident once wielded by a ruthless monarch (Pilou Asbæk). And when he takes up its spell, Kane is finally given the means to destroy Aquaman — no matter how many others might die in the process.
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So let’s start with what works. “Aquaman and The Lost Kingdom” may well be worth coughing up for that Real 3D ticket just because this thing does put some depth of field into sharp relief behind objects in both middle- and extreme background areas — sometimes over-heavy-CGI action sequences included — which is pretty cool-looking.
I had no problem with the visual effects done to Ezra Miller’s Flash scenes last year, but here we do have a repeat of the same realism problem that turned some audiences off: When frenetic battles veer into “Matrix Reloaded” territory, with what amounts to computerized characters pummeling each other like a video game, it’s harder for those of us who still love practical effects not to become somewhat disengaged.
“Aquaman and The Lost Kingdom,” however, does struggle with tone — and in a way that highlights how skilled a filmmaker James Wan (“The Conjuring”; “Malignant”) is. Wan radically deviates from what made the original film a box office success: While Arthur Curry’s rebel attitude and mischievous behavior were part of his persona in the first film, there was also some gravitas to him. He wanted to find belonging and identity. Here, though? This sequel shifts buffoonery into high gear. Given the deadly serious circumstances Aquaman finds himself in this time around (and chirpy outlook he maintains throughout), it can’t be all chuckles when your mortal enemy wants to gut your family.
Wan might have been put between a rock and a hard place. This version of Aquaman died when James Gunn and Peter Safran took over DC Studios. But the movie had already been made, and it must’ve been edited to reflect the change in power. There was never going to be an Aquaman III with this cast. Do you wrap things up with a nice little bow, or do you go hard AF and end things guns blazing? The former happens. It’s lame covered in weak sauce. Momoa’s Aquaman deserved better.
David Leslie Johnson-McGoldrick, who wrote the first movie and is one of Wan’s closest collaborators, unfortunately scripts a dud. There were audible laughs in my screening when the global warming aspect of the storyline takes shape. Atlanna (Nicole Kidman) has a monologue about climate change — insert “orichalcum,” you’ll have to watch to find out what it means — that is comically dumb. It will make you cringe and lose all hope that this somehow makes narrative sense by the end. Here’s an Oscar-winning actress spouting nonsense you’d expect from a ’70s B-movie.
Amber Heard’s personal trials are irrelevant here or to me as a reviewer; but she was not only a primary protagonist in the original, had a key role in “Justice League,” is Arthur’s wife, the Queen of Atlantis and mother to his royal heir — she probably has five minutes’ screen time in this sequel; she is extremely important to the plot but disappears for long stretches of the film otherwise. This was not good.
Ezra Miller was great as The Flash despite his public meltdowns and criminal troubles. Extra scenes of Arthur chumming around with Orm aren’t plausible replacements for her absence: She needed to be seen.
“Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom” leaves audiences rubbernecking. It’s an accidental disaster film. Another thought creeps into my mind. Batgirl was shelved and destined to rot away unseen in some vault — but it couldn’t be worse than this.