We feel AWFUL. Our greyhound bit our friends’ greyhound and he had to go to the vets. This was while we were dog sitting and their dog was spending 2 nights at our place.
We think the other greyhound was trying to get ours to play, but sleep startled him last night. Our dog was sleeping in his own bed. The other grey is a lot sillier and more playful & goofy than our grey. Our grey doesn’t really (know how to) play with other dogs; he’ll just coexist with them, but would rather not get involved in play. He’s barked before as a “just leave me alone” warning when our friend’s grey tried to engage him in play, and he usually gets the message.
We didn’t notice last night but only saw the wound this morning when I tried to pet the other grey on the side and he cried a little. The wound wasn’t bleeding, but looked like there had been small bleeding as there was some dried up blood around it. We cleaned it up with salty water, and we then met his mom (they only live 5 minutes away) and went to the vets to get him looked at.
He’s on antibiotics and painkillers and they’re letting the wound heal on its own. Only in case it doesn’t look good in the next few days they’ll take him back to be sedated and sutured.
But in all this, I feel so so awful that our grey did this to another grey, who now has a small wound (less than an inch) that required a vet visit.
For some more background on the relationship: the dogs have known each other for about 9 months now, both ex racers, both adopted around 3-4 years ago. They see each other roughly about once a week, either our grey spends the day at their house, or the other way around. They’ve also spent the night together under the same roof plenty of times in the past; our grey spent a whole week at our friends’ house over Christmas with their other grey there as well, and their grey has had many sleepovers at our place before.
Has anyone else been in any similar situations before with your greys? Any advice and thoughts are welcome!

Idk if this belongs here. If there's a more suitable page, please let me know.
Basically, nothing I ever do is enough. I babysit my sister 3 days a week, from 8am to 8pm. She in herself is another whole issue, but that's due to my mother's coddling, no doubt. During this time, I need to get my sister ready for school, drop her off, pick her up, do a variety of chores (dishwasher is all that she says, but she complains if the floors arent clean and the washing is piled up, so basically i try to do every possibke chore), make dinner for everyone, and feed our outdoor pet.
I don't mind this. My mum works hard. But when she comes home she complains about EVERYTHING. If my sister made a mess of something and I hadn't noticed it, if my sister touched the walls with greasy hands, if my shoes were in front of the door after I went out to feed the pet that her and my little sister got before i even knew. Like nothing is good enough. She's constantly bitching about my sisters, which makes me anxious to do the same. When I'm around her I don't dare grab a coke, snack, or make pasta, because she's constantly dogging on them for this.
One of the worst parts is how she claims she's blunt but everything feels passive aggressive. She will address it to my little sister like "Oh what have I told you about doing this, where's your this, hope you haven't been on that TV all day, what did you eat, oh baby let me go get you another drink." Her tone just screams that she's talking to me. Like, I'm sorry your kid is a literal demon. Idk what happened after I left for university, but my sister was lovely and silly, and she adored me, used to want to be me, and now she's horrifying. "If you don't do this, I'll tell Mum lies about you. If you don't, then you'll ruin my childhood, I love mum and my other sisters more than you."
Besides, nothing is good enough for my mother, I'm perfect. On social media, I'm the best daughter, I'm so smart, and she's so proud, and I'm so beautiful. She wonders why I have no self-worth? Because I've never heard those things to my face. I hear her tell me I have a good figure, but never without hearing, "You don't want to be like your sister. She's too skinny." Oh, I have a nice face? Only because my sister is so punchable.
She reminds me every day that she's a great mother. I'll say well you can be a bit this or that, and she has an excuse for everything." Why you do it doesn't matter. If it hurts, it hurts. What's the point in parenting if the child doesn't find it effective.
I recently told her I think I might have something not quite right with me. A lot of people (mostly AuDHD) say they think I'm autistic or have adhd, and I've thought that for a long time. I have a lot of issues, I wouldn't be surprised if it's just a mixture of many of them that just seems like autism or adhd. Basically, my mother said it's a trend right now and an excuse to be lazy. It was really giving "were all depressed, just stop being a lazy victim" vibes. She also told me I was too normal as a child and refutes all the instances of me being strange. Like when I had a no talking phase, when I told all my friends I didn't like them because they were too hard to talk to, when I cried to my mum basically explaining alexithymia to her because I didn't feel the emotions I expressed, all my various sensory issues I still have to this day that she said we're typical kid behaviour. It's all only gotten worse from there. I feel completely not normal, like I can't explain it. I also have a lot of issues with sounding monotone. Sometimes, I feel like I'm "dropping the act." From a young age, I've always been told off about my tone. If I'm angry, I better not sound it, if I'm sad, if I'm pissed off. I'm always lectured about my tone, but she sounds like she's making passive-aggressive jabs at me all the time, and that's fine.
There's so much more, like so much more. A lot of things she would say never happened. Like how she let my abusive bf take drugs to a holiday and kind of peer pressuring me to do them (I got SAd while I was sleeping that night by him). She said the whole time she didn't like him but didn't tell me in case I got upset. Or that time when I was getting pressured by my bf at 13, and she thought something was going on and just told me if I'm going to do anything I should just ask her for condoms instead of being an idiot. Reading this back, holy shit. One time she was crying and I went to give her a hug and she shooed me away and told me to leave her alone, and then seconds later my sisters aunt did the same thing and she broke down to her even more and hugging her. I was her emotional support child, btw, so obviously, this crushed me as that felt like my only value to her.
But yeah, there's so much idk how to even get into it all. So it probably doesn't seem so bad because this is probably typical parent behaviour. Also, yes, she is a single mother, and I'm grateful, but she has never said sorry to me. Never. It's always sorry you feel that way, but you're dramatic, victimising yourself, lazy, you'll thank me later. Like, no, I won't. Later you'll be estranged. She also has it in my head that no man is good. She keeps warning me of my bf, who yes is a pos sometimes, but better than a druggy rpist? I'd fricking say so, yeah. I tried to OD after breaking up with him. She doesn't even know because if I told her, she'd say I'm stupid and selfish. She also gets annoyed when I unblock my bf (as I broke up with him) to work things out. We're in a hard place, and I'm having complex emotions, and she just wants me to block him and spend time with family and study well. Like, let me grieve, jeez. She also tells me him mother is a psycho jealous bitch and his dad is a pdo. Like excuse me? You met them once, and know nothing about them.
I'm just writing this because I woke up to her complaining about a single cup and some pans that were left out last night (since the dishwasher was on) and saying how it's unfair as she wakes up early and has to deal with it. Why didn't you deal with it by cleaning it if it bothered you? Instead you wait till people are awake to criticise it and make them feel bad. Like we always do the dishwasher, that's one of my babysitting chores. Just ask me to do it nicely when I wake up, why all the backhanded comments and sparky remarks? Just communicate, you're 45, get a grip. She feigns perfection constantly and paints us as a perfect family when one child has cptsd, one has anxiety, I got a shit tonne of issues, and my little sister is an absolute entitled brat who will cry and scream and threaten if not given her way. Literally my sister said she would tell lies about me because I told her to wipe her own ass because I had chores to do (she's 8) and she said my mother would do it and that's why she doesn't love me. I want out of this house, but my mum will fault me for not babysitting as it costs money, and I do it for free.
Ask any questions you'd like. I understand there's not much to go off of, I'm happy to elaborate as I really need to vent I can't lie.

I live with my parents. I pay rent and work around the house. I clean, do the dishes, walk the dog and take care of her and go shopping with my mum. (Important note: we usually buy a lot of food and it takes a lot of time and it’s exhausting and also I clean after 5 people) My father never cleans after himself. My brothers are lazy too but are more cooperative. I’ve been cleaning after my father for years. And I’m over it. I tried to tell him many times but his excuse is: “well, you’ll have to get used to that. You can’t teach old dog new tricks.” It often makes me cry. How bad is it you ask? He can’t properly flush the toilet. When he finishes the coffee he won’t put it in the dishwasher even if it’s empty, he just leaves it somewhere else. He leaves shit stained toilet paper roll on the ground. I feel like I’m in hell. I cannot just stop doing that because my mum is lazy af too she just smokes cigarettes and is on her phone or pc. My father is also glued to the pc or tv. He has passive income so he’s home 99% of time. I don’t want to live in filth but I just don’t have the power anymore. Today I asked again during lunch if they could please clean up after themselves and my father told me to calm down and not get worked up (it’s true that the frustration is making me into a choleric). I feel like an asshole asking that but at the same time I’m in tears. I can’t move out and I love my family. I don’t want to live in filth so I clean anyway. Another example: my father wasn’t capable of packing his stuff for holidays, my mum did everything. He is capable of doing many things but he’s an absolute idiot when it comes to do these things. I’ll delete this post soon for obvious reasons. Please help. I even got into a big argument with him few months ago. It helped for a week… I’m begging for help. I tried everything.

I've recently been server hopping alot to unload my vendor and started to notice more and more players being wanted. I never use to care but one recently picked my dog house so I went out of my way to take care of him. Now I'm addicted to chasing down the wanted players when I see them dressed up in a western style outfit and its been a blast! Was wondering if anyone else engaged them

Hello. I would like to tell you my experience about having a brain tumor. More specifically a pilocytic astrocytoma and hydrocephalus. So how I found out was I went to work as usual. I would also like to say I have been having headaches for quite some time and have gone to the doctors. All they did was give me a shot of something in the butt which helped a lot and I thought that was the end of it. So I was at work when I started to feel really sick. I then realized I was going to throw up so I started to go to the bathroom. When I was walking to the bathroom I could not remember where it was and ended up in management office. I then threw up all over the floor and sat down for about twenty minutes. It was almost as if I was completely drunk at this point. I finally got up and started to walk to my car. When I made it my car I started it and went home. When I got home I couldn’t remember how to put my car into park. So I hit my garage before my dad came out of the house and told me what to do. I then put my car in park, got out of the car and went inside. My parents thought I was on drugs or something because I then went into the garage and was looking for something. My dad was in the garage with me and so was my mom. I had also thrown up on my dad which made him upset so he left me there. My mom told my dad I probably needed to take a nap. My dad said that we should probably go to the emergency room. When we made it to the emergency room I started to have some anger issues which the nurse asked if I have always had these problems, and my mom said I did not. Apparently I was very rude to the nurses and what not, which makes me very upset at myself. While at the emergency room I peed into a trash can because I was so out of it. I even lifted the lid and thought I was actually in the bathroom. After that I was taken to another hospital that is about an hour and thirty minutes away. I was taken by ambulance even though it was about 1:30 in the morning. All while my parents were following me. After that I was scanned and had to have emergency surgery where they put tubes in my head to drain the excess brain fluid. I then was laying in the hospital room for two days while they were draining the excess fluid. The only thing I remember from this was talking on the phone with my grandma and grandpa. I had to have a shunt put in my brain to continue to drain the fluid in my head because the tumor is blocking my normal drainage path. When I finally went home I was feeling fine but my parents decided that I should go to UCLA and get a second opinion. We set up an appointment at UCLA a few months after the emergency room visit. When they said I had to get the tumor removed I cannot remember what I was thinking. Also I would like to say this was all at the start of covid so it was very difficult. I went into the surgery and it went well but they couldn’t remove all of the tumor. I had forgotten everything about my life except who my family was and I kept saying zoinks from scooby doo. I had to stay in the hospital for about two or three weeks after the craniotomy. While I was there the nurses had to teach me how to walk again. Afterwards I had to go to rehab which was kinda nice. Of course I don't remember the drive to rehab but I remember almost every time I talked to my mom I said do you know I'm at a rehab facility and she would say yeah because of your drug and alcohol addiction. I knew that was not the reason because I had a huge scab on my head and half my head was shaved. Rehab was very difficult but I finished my time there after three weeks. When I went home I was super excited to see everyone and my dog. I then had to do more therapy because my short term memory was destroyed and I couldn’t remember the last five years of my life. It was so bad that you could tell me something, ask me to remember it and ask me what you had told me to remember and I would not be able to. I remember after one therapy session my mom asked me what she told me at the end of it and I could not remember and started crying. After about two months of therapy I had finished physical therapy, but I still had to do occupational and speech. I did the therapies for probably about half a year before I got my next MRI. During this time it was decided that when I could get a tattoo everyone of my immediate family would get a brain that said I forgot below it. When we were talking to the doctor it was November and he said that the brain tumor had grown. He said I would either have to do radiation or chemotherapy. So about a month later they decided on radiation therapy. Which wasn't good news but I thought it was better than chemo. So it is now December 2020. I have been in therapy for about half the year. I told the therapist that I will be going into radiation. So I had to stop going to therapy and went to Santa Monica for my radiation treatment. I started radiation in January 2021. I really liked the people who did my radiation. They were very nice. I also had one of the nurses from UCLA come and see me one day of my radiation. Sadly I did not remember them. So radiation was not bad but not great. It made the expression dead tired so very true. I would also like to mention that my parents had gotten an apartment for us a few miles away. So I would have to walk to and from the radiation treatments every day. It was really hard but I'm glad that I did it. I also had some delicious food while down in Santa Monica. The radiation nurses also gave me a little cake because it was my birthday while I was doing radiation. On the last day of radiation I gave everyone something I cannot remember what it was that I gave them. I hope that they liked it. I also remember that I got to ring a bell on my last day but I thought that I didn’t deserve it unlike the people who did chemo. When we went home I had to continue doing speech therapy. I kept doing speech therapy till 2022. I did not get told that I did not need to keep going to speech therapy. I ran out of days that my insurance would pay for it which sucked. I remember at one point when my mom was working from home she was getting annoyed at the insurance representative. I would also like to say that they had made it very difficult to get approved for therapy multiple times. I had also developed a twitch or jerk that I could almost feel coming which I had since after the craniotomy. Skip to 2023 I had been taking some pills because they thought I was having seizures. I had to set up a week in the hospital with some stuff attached to my head to try and catch one. It was not the best and they did not catch one. I would also like to say that my head was so itchy. So they decided to try again at a later date but I would be able to be at home. So I went to get the wires and machine on my head and meet a very nice nurse who braided the wires together to make it easier for me. After a week with it on I went back to UCLA and got it taken off and they found that I was having seizures. I would like to say that none of what I went through was easy but it could have been worse. I am very thankful and happy that I had my family and friends with me through all this. I would also like to say that it gets better. I have my next MRI next month and hopefully it will be a year apart so I can get my tattoo.

This might be long. And muddled. I feel safer posting here than in twox.
I'm nearly 40, for reference. So is he.
My partner and I have been together for three years. My longest relationship ever. It's not conventional, we live 40minutes by road and on public transport it's 2 buses and an hour and a half. I live with my mother - she's diabetic and it's been difficult to control. I have among other things PTSD and trauma that means I have never been able to work, deal with people or generally adult properly. I've had therapy and things. I've also got mobility issues that are getting worse despite my best efforts and it may not be long before I'm unable to walk any real distance.
Half of the relationship he ended up out of work. He's only been back in work a couple of months. I didn't mind, I'd help him out with money for his bills etc. He hates asking for help with a passion. There are control issues in his family where money will be held over you if it's loaned.
Yesterday he threw a massive unexpected curve ball. He is doubting how long we can exist like this. He's been neglecting me the last few weeks (so he thinks, he's been helping his friends with various things a lot) and between that and me having some flare-ups and not being up to making the bus trips, (because he hasn't got the money for fuel, and won't let me pay for it..) we've not seen each other for a few weeks. I don't mind that he's helping his friends out. Some of them have had horrible experiences with men and he's safe and they can trust him. He says I deserve better. That he's just been leeching for 18months. That he's made me upset more than he should have. (He brought up a time from the first six months we were seeing each other!) That he's too wrapped up in his own stuff and has his head up his arse. I've told him to stop focusing on what he thinks he's done wrong and...stop doing it. Stop beating himself up over things that I have no issue with. He's good at assuming worst case scenario before something has even happened/he's tried. He thinks he's failed at doing all the things he wanted to do better at. Yes he procrastinates horrifically sometimes and I need to start prodding him endlessly to get him to do the thing but I'm just as bad he just doesn't see it.
We've had moments like this before where he's struggled and had a bit of a spiral but never to the point where he's saying "I love you, I don't want to lose you, I don't want to break your heart BUT"
I asked if moving in together was where he wanted to take it. We both know logistically it's difficult. Between us we have five cats and a dog. Might be able to make it three cats and the dog. I don't have family here, they're all 150miles south and while I miss my real home and them, they're all getting older and a house there now costs £300k and this house (my mums) would not sell for anything like enough. He wouldn't want to leave his friends or his mum, most of his extended family are 100 miles away. His current house isn't suitable, and he hates it (tiny open plan over two floors, no garden.) It's ok for an overnight visit but there's no privacy or space there. There are no and will be no children involved. Trying to get onto housing lists will be difficult as he is adequately housed as far as his association is concerned and my area will likely see me as having no legitimate reason for needing housing.
(My dog is...she's a pest. She doesn't understand the concept of two humans in the bed, go away, and if I'm away from home longer than two nights she needs to go to kennels or she misbehaves. Mum gives in to her and dog has learnt how to hit all of mums buttons. I have told my mum repeatedly she needs to not do x/y/z.)
I haven't heard from him since we spoke yesterday.
Ok. I think I'm done. I've got an invite to a birthday picnic this time next week. Hopefully I have some idea about this bit of my life by then..

As the title says. My partner and I are currently staying with his mother. I have a dog that I rescued almost 4 years ago. He is my best friend. My side kick. He literally saved my life. My partner and I treat his as ours, but he is my dog. Somehow, on Friday afternoon after we left for work my dog got out an open door & started running. My MIL decided to chase him with her car through the housing development to try and get him back. Several of her neighbors joined in the chase pushing him further and further from the home. No one called me then. She called my sister in law instead. Then she came home & decided to call my partner. Who literally carpools to work with me & works next door to me. He left work, and never notified me. THREE HOURS AFTER my dog escaped I sent a text to my bf asking him how his work night was. Only then was I informed that my dog went missing. I left work immediately & have spent the past 36hrs looking for my boy. We have no real confirmed sightings. It's cold. It's raining. He has short fur so I know he's cold. And scared. And I'm so desperately scared he'll get hit by a car. I haven't been sleeping or eating. Last night I feel asleep on the floor while the drones were out. So now I wake up from being numb & im just so fucking furious. No one has apologized to me for losing my dog. No one has said I'm sorry for not calling me sooner. Until this moment I would say I'd be with my partner until my dying breath. But now all I can think about is how he never called me. And if I don't get my dog back I don't think I can move past this hurt. I feel so betrayed. I trusted these people with the most important thing in my life and he's gone. It's been 36 hours. I need my best friend back. And he needs me. I'm so lost without him & I don't think I can forgive these people. Every one failed me. And I failed my boy.
I just miss my dog.
Tl;Dr my MIL lost my dog & my partner knew for hours without telling me. I don't think I can ever forgive them if he doesn't come home.

I S Hi I’m new to this reddit thing so sorry if I make any mistakes.Basically this all happened a few months ago me(f 16) and my friend(f 14) I’ll call her meep we’re having a sleepover,she was on her phone most of the time which I didn’t think to much of when she then said to me hey can a few of our other friends(both f 14) come which I said sure because we where all friends now when they first came we did basic things girls do at sleepovers like doing eachother a hair and stuff until one of my friends takes something out of her bag I didn’t really cat eat first thinking it was something like clothes or make up until I get a good look at it and realised she had bull a bottle of beer out.Meep seeing this was like omg you actually managed to get it in your bag with my other friend I’ll cal her Lew said ya and bragged about how easy it was at first I wasn’t to keen on it since it being in my house but out of pressure drank it.A while later me and my friends start planning the day ahead of us now jump to the next day me and my friends start walking which all of them weren’t to keen on since it was a 1 and a half hour walk but sucked it up to our town (btw we live in a small town in a small country) anyway we where walking to a park originally but we all got hungry so we walked to supermarket but my friend (I’ll call this one royal)went to her house to pick up stuff and a bit later lew had to get something so it was just me and meep just sitting around eating on a platform when royal came back us three we’re walking around when we saw royals boyfriend(m 14) and his older brother(m 19) royal then started running after them yelling out to them and so then a bit later royal was flirting with her bf and me meep and the brother were just sitting around then we finally meet up with lew we then decided to go to the park together which ended badly in a fight where police where called but that’s not important anyway a bit later my friend called her bf and made sure he was ok and he said why don’t we try hanging out again tomorrow w which she without asking said yes so now me and my other friends had to go out again without being asked if it was ok with us but we also didn’t really care since most of us did wanna get out of the house so another jump to the next day me and my friends meet up with them we did give to walk to their houses bc they needed to get ready but after that we had a bit of fun the bf claimed a roof followed by royal lew and meep who tried but chickened out they told me to clime up but I said hell no I ain’t stupid they also tried getting the brother to but he told them to piss of he then sat of a rubbish bin which o tried to as-well but couldn’t jump high enough until he showed me how.Once we where done we went to the park well except for meep royal and her bf who went to her house to pick up something so me lew and the brother where on our way to the park when we got there we sat in this tunnel looking thing and just started talking to each other me and lew where sitting next to each other when he decided to sit in the middle of us which I thought was weird at the time but said nothing bc I didn’t wanna try make it weird bc again he was 19 but anyway my friends came back and we sat in this tree house looking thing I was mostly sitting with lew when hake moved away for a bit and then the brother sat down next to me I though it was weird bc there was room other places then he put his hand around my shoulder I looked up and royal was just winking at him and me I tried to signal to her that I was uncomfortable but she was still acting like it was nothing I then signalled to meep and unlike royal got the hint right away and thankfully said Alr guys let’s go it’s getting late and said we had to go I then got up and walked with meep royal complaining about leaving said fine and asked them to walk us home which they agreed until after a bit lew told them to go bc she didn’t want them knowing where I lived which I was really thankful for after that royal and her bf kissed goodbye and left which I was gonna do until I felt someone behind me grab my waist and kissed my cheek and gave me paper with his Snapchat I was gonna throw it in a puddle when lew asked what was in my hand so I explained what it was and she said oh how cute and asked if I was gonna add him dis it’s wanting to say no and wanting to tell her what happened I honestly can’t explain it but I just couldn’t but I have her the paper which she added him and made a gc with me him her and royal which was then when they made plans to sneak out with them and go on a night walk they asked me and meep to come which meep said no bc she thought the brother was a creep and I tried to say no but once again with pure pressure said yes royal and lew where to busy getting ready to even thing about meep in which I said hey why don’t I just stay here with meep and keep her company which they laughed and said cmon let’s go,it was 10:30 at night when we snuck out them excited to see them and me paranoid on my mum getting mad about me disappearing when we meet up with them me lew and the brother walking ahead I was holding hands with lew originally but the brother grabbed my hand and so we where all just walking I was ok with it but the thing that threw me off was what royal was saying she was just making very sexual jokes about me and this 19 yr old man which I was uncomfortable with but was to shy to say anything about once we got to the place which was under a bridge we just sat down and talked about stuff lew then went some place else which was then followed by royal and the bf I tried running off but royal told me to stay back so I did now it was just me and the bf brother idk why I didn’t think this would happen but he sat really close to me and that’s when he did it at first he just grabbed my face made out with me which I tried to say no or stop but I was to scared to say thing and then he just started touching me places and I tried with all my might to get him to stop but couldn’t then I heard yells from royal saying she couldn’t find lew me using this as a reason to get away yelled I’ll look for her and tan off I wasn’t actually looking for her though I was on a bathroom trying with all my might to not let out any tears which was really hard then I heard yells so I looked out and realised it was meep who had secretly been following us so I used her as a opportunity to get away and then said hey you guys look for her I’ll leave with meep signalling to her I wanna leave which again she understood and acted tired and said ya I wanna go now so we did which I then turned around and saw the brother just following us I let him follow us idk why but once we where around the block I said to him my house was close and he could go which I waited until he had actually left to start walking home and obviously I wasn’t near my house there was still a twenty minute walk which I just started braking down my friend was just hugging me and said it’s ok and saying what did he do to you which say I don’t know why but I just couldn’t say anything once got home I threw up I could still feel him everywhere in my mouth on my thighs and on my waist and other places I wanted scream all I could think about was how I was such a slut and couldn’t even say anything or stop it I wanted to die I wanted just anything to get the memory and taste out of me I then started telling my self about how worthless I was and how I my mother really did raise a stupid and pathetic person after a bit I fell asleep with my dog next to me (he’s a American bully)so I thought that I could at least have some sort of protection after a bit my friends came back and fell asleep I knew this bc they really don’t come back some quiet and woke me up now this was the last day they where at my house so they all went back to their houses and i really do wish I I could say this was the end I really really do but sadly this was not after going back to school and acting as if everything was fine and nothing was wrong I realised that royal and lew haven’t been to school for a while and the next day lew came to school and I found out that sadly the brother 🍇ed her when I found this out I feel apart I was sick shocked and just didn’t know what to do my friends told her to tell our health teacher she’s the teacher who deals with situations like this so she did the teacher said she could miss a few classes and stay in there with me and meep that was when I told them what happened to me they where both mortified that was then when lew reveille the brother wanted to grape me aswell and even told her he was gonna and how he would ask to hang out and to it at the same place he did to her I was honestly shocked and paralysed with fear remembering how he actually asked to hang out a the other day anyway I then asked her what she wanted to do bc our teacher suggested telling the cops tbh I really didn’t want to bc I was trying to keep this whole thing away from my mum but knew I had to so I walked to the police station with a few other friends and told them everything after that I knew I had to drop royal she literally let everything happen even with lew I’ll explain later with lew but we dropped her now obviously that east’s she was just making up excuses and even said that the brother was forcing her to say and do things and then started yapping about how he forced her to do those things but I saw right threw her lies so did keep but idk why but lew actually believed her until she also finally saw right threw her lies oh also brother actually has a gf who is his age ik real shocked expected her to be 8 anyway recently the cops did find him and I’ve got a meeting with one of them oh another big thing turns out we ARNT the first people he’s sa wanna know the first person he did? Get ready 🥁🥁his fucking brother ya that’s right he literally graped his brother and it gets worse he did it when the boyfriend was fucking 8 anyway I might not update for I bit but I promise there will be one

Sorry this is a bit long.
My husband (36f)and I (38f) have entered an avoidant- anxious dynamic.
We got married in December of last year, 3 months after I moved into his place (previously I rented and he owns).
Issues started when I moved in. In that I couldn’t. He had told me I had carte Blanche, but the reality was that he would freak out at any thing I suggested. I ended up living out of boxes for weeks until eventually he told me he had unresolved trauma from his ex. He also became jealous (she cheated on him) and he started questioning my friendships and work relationships. He would shut down for days, freak out and leave the house. I would end up going to look for him and reassuring him, which is what he told me he needed at the time.
Our disagreements turned into big fights over time. Mainly because when I would try and talk to him, he would talk over me and or walk away. I felt dehumanized. During arguments he would also weaponize our relationship, saying it was over or insisting I wanted to leave him (I didn’t and told him as much). It was like a 2 week cycle with each argument taking about 3 days to resolve. He would say he can’t be himself around me because I would not accept him yelling his feelings at me but was more that ready to hold space for him if he approached me gently, which never happened. He started shirking responsibility.
Our agreement and something I was very open about is that my dogs (2 40lb) are my family, and if I was ever to move in with someone, it would be joint care, kinda like blending a family. He took a couple of days to think about it before deciding that he loved me and loved the girls and wanted to be part of that. He also very generously offered to support me financially as I left my job, and wanted me to focus on building my business instead of looking for another. I had been doing work freelance on the side til then and this would give me time to really dive into it. He knew full well it was seasonal and my contracts would start coming in May and June. I was so grateful and to ease any stress that might add, started doing everything around the house.
Over the winter I ended up getting very sick and having Covid three times in a row, he was great at looking after me, but at the end of it told me he no longer wanted the responsibility of either the financial side or the dogs. Other than a week where I physically couldn’t, I was still doing the majority of the care. He was walking them once a day.
I asked him to just honour the support for 3 more months and started looking for part time jobs as well as setting up my work for the season. I booked several contracts that would have put me on excellent track, they start in June. For the dogs, I explained it was still a deal breaker, and he agreed to 20 minutes 5 days a week as he felt it was taking away from his free time. He also told me he no longer wants to worry about meals and wants to cook at his rhythm, which for me would mean going hungry or cooking for us as he usually wouldn’t start cooking til 9pm. If I (very happily) made him dinner, and he had a stressful day. He would sometimes tell me he didn’t ask me to do that, if I dared say I was trying to cheer him up or make his time easier. I encouraged him to take time and whatever space he needed. Our fights got worse, meaner over time. He only agreed to stop talking over me in March, when I showed him an article that it was dehumanizing.
During our last fight, he demanded a divorce (again). The fight happened because after two weeks of being on honeymoon and being a warm, affectionate, caring partner, he suddenly went cold. He denied it when I said he was being distant and dismissed that it was disconcerting to me. It turned into a full blown fight when I ‘micromoved’ wrong and apparently that meant I didn’t want to me around him, so he unilaterally cancelled our evening plans, which had been specifically to catch up after 2 days of barely seeing one. It was an ugly fight.
When he said divorce though it really caught me off guard. He promised he would never do that again and that we would work through things using an 8 week couples course we were on week 5 of. They warned us fights might still happen but not to use separating as it was a trust breaker.
This time I left the house and slept on couches for two days before a friend offered me a cabin on their property. It’s not much, no heating but with two dogs on short notice it was a godsend. I used all the money that left which was going to go for my taxes to pay for it.
He has been yo-yoing about reconciliation after asking for it, citing dogs and cooking, as well as our fights being toxic. They are. Therapy would be essential. I’ve turned into the worse version of myself I’ve ever seen. I haven’t been allowed in our house, can’t take any of ‘our’ things even if he’s not using them and he’s upset I took the car, which I was using 99% of the time as we live in an area now where I don’t have access to the things I love, like hiking. I have no choice about the car, as the cabin is in the woods and I need it for work, he doesn’t.
The thing I can’t get over is him going back on his word. At this point he hasn’t covered any of my expenses, saying he would and ‘forgetting’ since December and I’m now 6k in debt and exhausted. I feel like this is more than just avoidant-anxious. The more time I spend on my own, waiting for him to figure things out, the less I want to be around him. I love him, I no longer respect him.
Advice welcome.

Im stuck. I dont know if i need to vent, need advice or words of encouragement but I am ashamed to say that today I stood in front of my partner with my head down and crying while he berated me like a child after I told him about something the dog damaged.
I was nearly going to throw up and have a panic attack at the thought of telling him because I knew exactly how it would happen and low and behold it was exactly that.
There is no safe space and I hate how he makes me feel about myself. I remember standing there as 6yo me when my parents were doing the same thing. I'm a 38F so very much not a child.
How can someone work on childhood trauma and begin to heal if the environment they are trying to heal from is that exact space?
I've begged, pleaded, and tried a million ways for this man to understand but nothing is going to change.
I left the house and returned to him drunk and telling me that I am controlling him by crying. He then assumes that he knows exactly why I am upset and keeps pushing me until I raised my voice saying that is not what I am thinking as a reaction to him.
Suddenly I am now the abuser and he began to yell and when I said that you are upset at me for raising my voice but you are doing the same thing. His words... I don't care, I can do what I want and I don't give a shit about feminity bullshit. Whatever that means.
My head is swimming and I actually don't know what I need right now or how to feel. When he drinks he gets all belligerent and keeps pushing to fight and get a reaction out of me. I walked away from the conversation and said I cannot talk to him when I am feeling the way I am and we can talk later. In his mind, I'm controlling and no doubt he will be back for round 2 later.
My psychologist is on holidays and I don't have anyone close to reach out to so I'm trying to figure out what steps I need to take next for me emotionally and for my children (2 mine 1 ours). Thanks for making it this far.

I don't go behind houses, through gates I have to open, or if I see a loose dog. I'll leave it where I can safely do so. What are your hard lines?

I (29f) don't like being in this family. I've also come to understand its abnormal that they have a lot of expectations of me. I'm an idiot for not dressing nice, I'm an idiot for not being sisterly enough.... I know there are quite a lot of things I didn't do around the house. But all I wanted was to mind my own business. I thought that by volunteering around the house, I'd be doormatted. Even with the minimal work I did around the house, I'm partially right - my parents would scold me, only me, for useless things like what I wore and my interests, vent to me about troubles around the house.... Since my mid 20s, I've keeping them on information diet. "I've already decided" or "it is already done" type. Very rude, walled off.... but I don't know how else to do it and I'm working on that.
They get annoyed when I don't know the obvious things. I mean, sometimes stuff just escapes my attention, so I don't notice. But I get spoken to like I'm an idiot. I mean, why? I don't have to look further than my own family to find oblivious, selfish idiots. For example, they all got a dog, knowing FULL WELL no one would be interested in taking care of it. They scolded me for not being like my cousin in uni, so I became a 'better' version of my cousin by getting a corporate job while studying. But I failed to manage my time and completed my degree only after 6 years, but I paid for my degree since the 2nd year like my cousin. My parents say they're now disappointed. My mom told me to 'don't be sensitive', but she scolded me when I gave it back to her. My dad wants us to do more housework, but he doesn't do much. Stupid right?
When they're around, I'm thinking about how they perceive me. When they're not around, I wake up on time without the damn alarm, get tasks done on time, even cook for myself.
I mean, this is tiring. I've been patient with all of them... until this year, when I let them know how stupid they have all been and decided to have 'less patience'. I pointed out everyone's obliviousness, laziness, hypocrisy, selfishness ..... No one has a good answer for me, because they know I'm right.
I have a place lined up already. They're not bad people, just normal and imperfect. I just want to vent about these people.

My wife and I just bought a house in a few suburbs north of Gosford, and we will be relocating from Sydney. We are both in our early 30s with 2 small dogs, absolutely love the beach and love getting outdoors but also love going out to wine and dine.
What are your favourite places to visit or favourite things to do? I would love to make the most of our time here.
We are super grateful to be moving up here. Thanks in advance!

I don't know who to ask advice of this so I thought reddit would be the best place. I 23 F Have been dating my 22 M boyfriend for a little over 2 years and today we had an argument. Usually I don't mind them and understand they are going to happen but today's was too much for me. For context I am currently unemployed with my boyfriend earning the household funds, because of this amongst other reasons I help him in the mornings. I get out of bed before him, lay out his clothes aswell as products he'll need then make breakfast and coffee and you guessed it, turn the geyser on. Last night I took a late bath and usually ask him if he'd like it on so he can shower afterwards, last night I didn't since it was late and I only took a bath since I was in pain. Fast forward to this morning. I half wake up seeing him dressed and annoyed. A little more context, he sometimes works on Sunday and in return wakes up later so he wants to do it himself. Anyway, as I wake up I see he's annoyed so out of instinct and care I asked if he was alright and if he was annoyed about something. He proceeded to tell me that I left the geyser off the one time he didn't tell me to and that he had a bad shower. Bare in mind I did ask why he was annoyed but I wasn't expecting that answer. After a few minutes I said I was sorry in which he proceeded to explain further that it annoyed him. Later after having time to think I confronted him and said that this was my first affence in this matter and asked why he got this mad at me because I couldn't grasp it. He continue with saying why does he need to ask, I should just do it which I proceeded to answer with that I ask him out of curtasy but forgot once. In this house my boyfriend and I share I felt bad leaving the geyser on since it just takes more money so I guess I instinctively didn't and didn't even have hot water myself. The arguements continued and he stormed off, but not before making a final statement. I respond with, you can't just walk away with him yelling I just did. Got in the kitchen where he was 5 seconds later and went to the fridge. I was hungry and acknowledged that I will not be treated with respect so what's the point of the conversation. He proceeded to ask questions like nothings wrong and I responded with the fact that I will not be speaking to someone who has no respect for me and storms off like a child. He proceeded to get offended and yelling at me. I told him I will not be yelled at like a dog, if he does not show me the same respect I show him I will not have this conversation. During which, he wanted to interrupt countless times which I did not allow in a span of 30 seconds. Than he stated that he is angry he is going to yell which I then stated again then I won't have this conversation. He trodded after me slamming the door open and yelling at me saying he is going to say this in which I said I do not want to have this conversation please respect that. He did not. He continued to yell in which a bit childish I know but I blocked my ears and kept repeating I do not want to talk please respect that and leave me alone while I could see his mouth moving and yelling. He then stormed off in a huff and continued to make snippy comments as he left. I was very supprised at how sound I handled they argument, stating my boundaries was kinda freeing. Worst part is he uses work as a reason not to handle the situation better because he will be late so whenever we have arguments he states that he does not have time for this so our arguments go unresolved. After the fight I walked out saying I do not want to talk to a man that has zero respect for me or time. After cooling down I think I should've just accepted the complaints and move on, I don't know what to do and honestly I am tired of it all, I love him so should I apologize or do something? AITAH?

I hesitate to post this because I've been on reddit for years and know ya'll can be vultures but here it goes:
TL;DR - Fiancé and I are confused and exhausted. We're currently a dead bedroom, it's my doing. He needs more physical intimacy and for some reason I can't provide it. He has cheated, only since physical intimacy stopped, although he does not agree it is cheating. He knows he has hurt me. Blah blah blah, wedding is postponed, we've discussed an open relationship and/or taking a break.
Background:
We have been together for 10 years, engaged 2. We're in our early 30s. Wedding is planned for next year. No kids, but 3 dogs together.
The beginning of our relationship was like any new relationship. We were young, the honeymoon phase seemed never-ending as we didn't see each other often, and sex was new and exciting.
2 years into dating, I started birth control. Immediately, we didn't notice many sexual side effects, but looking back, there probably were. We had both been taking antidepressants/ anti-anxiety medication before we met, and we both currently still take those medications. We know these have sexual side effects, for both of us.
After dating a few years we moved in together and shortly after, sex became infrequent. About 3 years into living together he brought up concerns about lack of sex and physical intimacy. I eventually realized I got comfortable and content, and didn't prioritize sex and physical intimacy as I should have been. I promised I would change, but I unfortunately didn't. Around this time, he sent a nude photo of himself to a friend of mine. I couldn't believe it, he told me a few days later, and promised to never do anything like that or to hurt me like that again.
Fast forward to now, we own a house together, and still unfortunately, I have done little to nothing to increase my sex drive and physical intimacy. I start little things but no progress is made. For example I say I'm going to plan a "sexy time" but it just doesn't happen. I did surprise him with a photo album of sexy polaroids of myself, which he enjoyed. But maybe a year later he asked a different friend of mine for sexy photos. I think he's just missing that attention that I should be giving him. His love language is physical touch, mine is acts of service and gift giving, and I struggle to show him love in the way he wants to be shown (physically.)
Since our engagement, the past year has been filled with discussions about our dead bedroom: why it happened, can we fix it, etc. For both of us, it's been almost impossible to be excited about being engaged or planning a wedding or getting married because of this issue. We've agreed that we don't want to get married if we're not excited, so we're postponing the wedding. Also, we both see a therapist and have started couples therapy.
Where it gets complicated:
He recently told me that last year, he visited a club a few times. Only on one occasion it got physical: he received a handjob, (I do believe him because at this point there's nothing to hide.) This handjob visit occurred 6 months after he proposed. Leading up to these club visits (which remember, I didn't know about until recently) he would urge me in a healthy way to be intimate, communicate his needs, and so on. But for whatever my multitude of reasons are that I'm working out in therapy (vaginismus, piled on stress, self-esteem issues, maybe not being attracted or turned on by my partner, low libido, possible imbalanced hormones, health scares that may have caused trauma) I just couldn't do it. Of course I regret it, I don't know what's wrong with me and I wish I could snap my fingers and fix it. So I do understand why he went to that club.
We truly do not know what to do. We love each other. We've been through so much, helped each other through a lifetime of stressful events, and experienced such great things together. We've talked about our future together for the past decade. But we also recognize that time spent together does not mean you should or are obligated to stay together. We recognize that right now, neither of us are happy and something needs to change.
We've briefly mentioned opening our relationship, taking a break, or both. But we don't know what that entails. Since we live together and the dogs are like our children, we don't know how a break would logistically work. As for opening our relationship, considering the infidelity, I just don't know. But at the same time, there is no sex or intimacy happening and I want to see him happy in that way. I feel like it would improve his mental health. Our therapist has been focusing more on us rather than discussing those options at the moment.
Of course there is so much more to a decade-long relationship, and I'm trying to be as neutral as possible when writing this. But we just feel like we're in this best friend, roommate, sometimes cuddle limbo and are avoiding truly discussing it because we know the options...we just don't. know. what. to. do. So if anyone has any actual advice, similar stories, or experiences with an open relationship or taking a break (while engaged) please share.
Also if you're going to respond with something unnecessary or unhelpful like "just break up" we'll save you the time and say thank you, we've discussed that option as well.

I (M42) and my spouse (F40)
I just had the shock of my life, and possibly the most dramatic upheaval imaginable. I'm scared, concerned and i wonder if anyone else has a similar experience. This is concerning my soon to be ex-wife. Not an easy read or even to type, but strap yourselves in. We were married for 13 years, had known each other for 23. She was a child that grew up in a war in her home country, and was effected by it more than she let on. During the last 4 years of our relationship, she started developing incredible anxiety and depression. She would become like an exposed nerve, and every perceived slight became something she would ruminate on for days at a time. We had some events in our marriage that were incredibly stressful. Our son was born prematurely, our daughter when she was born was also traumatic. She was always highly strung when i knew her. i was very much the calming influence to her and it was a role that developed in our dynamic. i would be her rock and safe place. Things started to change, and dramatically so. I travel with work and she would look after the kids. i would be home large parts of the year, but i would have to go away sometimes for 4 weeks at a time. When covid hit, we were both home for a better part of 18 months, and i started to notice things that concerned me. She began to become incredibly paranoid about neighbours. She was certain they were spyi ng on us somehow (even though they were 80, and not at all interested in us). This spiraled from the neighbours commenting on the length of our grass. It effected her, and she became fixated. Any new neighbours she instantly distrusted, and she believed they all spoke badly of her.none of it was true, but in her state of hypervigilance, she was misinterpreting signs. A strange look, or half glance was enough to make her feel unsafe and scared. This slowly devolved into her being fearful of being spied on in the shower, people who walked dogs the same time each morning past our house were doing it to spy on us, etc. I could see it was draining her, and making her very ill with stress so we discussed maybe going to therapy, which she did. During the years we were together, she had been on various anti-depressants to cope with depression. I always chalked it down to post natal depression and the stress being a mother brought to her, especially when i went away. She attended therapy, but would stop when it became uncomfortable. She then opened up to me one day regarding it. It turns out that she was molested as a child by a family friend, and had buried it. that coupled with seeing her childhood friend die from an explosion (which i knew about) had effected her more than we knew. The therapy seemed to make it worse, and since that point things took a massive nose dive. She was an incredibly bubbly, happy and cheerful person to everyone. or so i thought. She would sometimes drop the mask at home, and i could see the turmoil developing. I hate to admit it, but i was blind to it for many years. she had masked it from the very beginning. Her paranoia got worse and worse. she came off of her antidepressants and started using weed vape pens to be able to cope with the incredible anxiety. I watched her drift apart from me over the last two years, her kindness towards me vanishing and almost a resentment towards me. She would complain about the new house we had bought and that she hated it because of the neighbours. We discussed moving, but she realised in her more lucid times that the issue would follow her whereever she went. The last year together she would speak about moving to another country. I said i would, but after my parents, who are old, passed. i didn't want them to not see our children in their final years. We had grown apart, she had this strange push-pull dynamic with me. One day she'd love me and be this caring person, the next cold and distant. I tried incredibly hard to pull us back together whilst dealing with her delusions of paranoia that were still ongoing, but the more i tried (and at some points i was quite combative and forceful) to get her to communicate, the more she pulled away. There was hardly any intimacy, which i yearned for and would comment on. She would initiate it sometimes, but for me, i'm ashamed to say, i complained about it a lot. She would have sex with me on occasion, and then if we argued later say "i didn't really want sex, it was like rape". This hurt me to my core, and made me bitter about how we were. The arguments became worse and worse. She started resenting me for trapping her. That was her reality. i had trapped her in the relationship. It wasn't true, but she was upset i travelled with work and could escape when she couldn't. It was never escape for me, i travelled because i had to. Her and the kids were all i wanted to be with. Travel to me was a chore.
Slowly she withdrew more. The more i tried to help and talk, the more she withdrew. All the time she was still paranoid, and now believed the neighbours were spying on her with cameras in the garden. the "cameras" were garden lights.
After three years of constant paranoia and her anxiety, it was starting to effect me. We couldn't go out in the area as she hated the neighbours. Yet to their faces she was bubbly and happy, smiley and almost overly kind. Yet when we were alone, the mask would slip and all her thoughts about them would spill out. Our social life started to be affected,
Anything i said was misunderstood or taken in such a way that i was insulting her. If i said she was silly for thinking in a certain way, i was calling her stupid. Anytime i tried to logic something out with her regarding the neighbours (for example she believed they were watching her shower) it was dismissed. I actually showered and told her to ask if she could see me from the garden. She was confused when she saw she couldn't.
The delusions became worse, and she became more and more paranoid. The textured glass in the bathroom was the wrong way around in her eyes, so people could see in. The motion activated light at the bottom of the garden was a camera, for sure. things like this.She withdrew more and more. I had to go away on a work trip, and the day before i left she asked for a divorce. I was hurt, but said "we can talk about it when i get home" when i arrived at the destination i was working across the world, i messaged her. No response. I tried multiple times until eventually i got a text "The kids will be taken away from me, and i will be sent back to my home country" I rang my father who lived very close to us to find out what was happening.
She had asked him to take her to the police station. She said to report the neighbours for spying, which she did try to do. they obviously didn't listen. She was taken to hospital by my father as she was having a mental breakdown and behaving strangely. I told my boss i had to fly home as something was happening. he booked me the earliest flight and i flew back. I was arrested from the plane. She had accused me of Rape, Control and coercion and ABH. Things i would never do. I was arrested, questioned and told not to go back to my home or to contact her. In one day i lost everything. I was in shock and was an emotional wreck. Worst of all i was concerned and scared for my wife and kids. She blamed me for her emotional state. said i had caused everything and had abused her constantly for years. After a week of staying at my friends house, social services got involved as the kids were missing school. It turns out she was taking the kids to hotels because she was terrified of staying at home. The kids told me later that "mummy thinks men are after her" instead of telling any authorities this, she said it was because she was scared of me. Social services believed everything she said. I was under investigation for the allegations, although not charged. The investigations were ongoing for three months, and in that time i wasn't allowed to contact her at all. Unfortunately in my fear i contacted her repeatedly. She had me arrested for harassment, and i was charged and convicted. I wasn't ever abusive in the texts, but i did contact her a lot.
I secured access to my children through a rushed family court order. I also placed a block on her leaving the country without seeking my permission with the children, as she had taken my passport details to apply for the kids passports without my knowledge. I did this due to her erratic behaviour and i knew she wasn't stable. My father thought i'd over-reacted, but my ex was so good at masking she hid how she really felt even to him. Oscar level masking.
Looking back i realise how bad it was. She ran from her home country at 18 and always ran. she always wanted to move jobs if something went wrong. She would cut off long term friends in an instant if she felt any pressure form them. Her first instinct would always be to flee anything. Any littlle insignificant thing or slight would become something she'd chew over for weeks, often applying the worst case scenario that would then become her reality. The truth was she was constantly afraid. I think at the end i became something she was afraid of too. My determination to keep us together and keep her from falling apart became too much for her. I wasn't always kind and was exasperated a lot. I was too demanding on someone that was exhausted, anxious and clearly unwell. Unfortunately i didn't realise this until too late. I still see the children, but have zero contact with her. She filed a restraining order due to the harassment conviction which i will adhere to. I'm currently going through family court again to secure further rights. She applied for full custody and has said some very terrible untruthful things at court to almost destroy me and remove me from her life. I'm a broken man because of it all, but staying strong for the kids.
I hope there will be some sort of resolution in the future, but i realise that she's scared of me now as she is scared of everything. She told me near the end that she trusts nobody. This broke my heart. The court on the last visit realised that something wasn't right. they have ordered a investigation into our family, and it will hopefully be reported in June when we go back to court. Her medical documents have been re-visited and statements taken. My father witnessed some very strange behaviour and has reported it. We just have to see what happens. She has requested to sell the property we lived in, and i'm slowly watching the life we built implode. She also has asked for the order that stipulates the need for permission to leave the country lifted. June will be the crunch time.

Hi, so I’ve never posted before but I’m in a situation that I’ve literally never even imagined being and need some help?
My husband and I were blessed with the opportunity of owning a home in a pretty solid neighborhood right, both our neighbors are cops, and nice people with young kids. ( we have a 3 year old so naturally we’re excited to have other kids near by) Anyways, we like our neighbors, but they kind of… cross major boundaries? They let their kids play in our yard constantly, like running through the bushes, climbing our trees, playing like it’s their house kind of play. We live in the middle of friends, so I get it, their kids are constantly back and forth, and I don’t mind most of the time but like they’re not that nice to my son sometimes? And make him feel weird and me as well , like when we come outside and they’re just… there? Like WE are interrupting them or something. I know they use our yard as a play area between the two houses when we are not there…. And I just… I don’t know. I don’t want to be a grouchy ass bitch and be like “stay off my lawn! Whippersnappers” but on the other hand it’s annoying as fuck. It’d be one thing if they were friends with my kid, but they are not. And make him feel left out simply for being at HIS HOME.
Should I say something and risk the peace or deal with it and build a fence lol. Also, they literally watch their dogs poop on our yard all the time and just kind of smile and don’t give a shit 😊 Rant over, any help is appreciated