A break with charity lesson plans

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2010.04.15 13:59 Andy_1 Good morning, nerddit!

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2008.05.10 08:59 Triathlon

A subreddit dedicated to the sport of triathlon, and all of its constituent components, quirks, and joys.
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2014.08.14 04:47 For the most innovative 21st century social studies methods

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2024.05.19 13:44 Bitter_Prize6768 All the info on what’s going on with Aspyn including the divorce

The divorce is real. It's not about money, and they're keeping it a secret from Cove, trying to keep things normal for her while she’s still sick. They're still living together as a family, and they're not planning to separate while the cancer thing is still going. Surprisingly, they're getting along well, considering the circumstances.
Things between them were already bad before Cove got diagnosed, just after her diagnosis they knew they couldn’t stay together but kept it together for their daughters to live normally.
Cove was diagnosed on February 2023, they were told she wouldn’t make it through the summer (which is why Aspyn said she’s taking a long break late 2023 but she didn’t). Some of her symptoms were balance and walking issues and some changes in her face. Scans showed tumors near her brain stem, and she started treatment right away.
Cove isn’t doing chemotherapy or radiation anymore, which is why her immune systems isn’t weak and her hair is starting to grow again. They had her doing an experimental trial treatment and her body is responding well to it. She’s not in remission yet though and is still considered terminal. If the trial treatments continue to work it’ll buy them more time.
Since there were a lot of concerns and uncertainties with cove they didn’t physically separate and wanted them to spend as much time as a family together for the sake of their daughters. They wanted Lola to not feel excluded or neglected, and had a third baby through ivf because they wanted Lola to still have a full sister, they also wanted cove and the new baby to meet and spend as much time together. Especially all three of them as sisters for as long as possible.
They baby was conceived through ivf because Aspyn and Parker were separated but wanted a third sister for Lola and Cove. They also wanted to do some tests on the embryo to make sure the placenta stem cells are a match for Cove as an additional thing.
If you have any questions you can ask and I’ll respond to as much as I can. I’m not going into details about the trial treatment since knowing the details will reveal my identity. I’ve tried to be vague with my wordings and changed the style of my typing so it doesn’t reveal anything about my identity.
submitted by Bitter_Prize6768 to aspynovard [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:42 moveintheshadows AITA for getting mad at her for not apologising and comparing her to my ex?

Hi, I (20F) have been in a polyamorous relationship with a guy (21M) for 1 year. Polyamory is pretty nuanced but our agreement is that while we are in a committed relationship, we can still explore our sexualities since we are both bisexual. I can see girls, he can see guys.
This is quite unusual, I know and a lot of people judge the quality of my relationship immediately when I say I’m polyamorous but it works for us and we’ve been really happy and hope to get married after we graduate.
In the beginning of our relationship, I was seeing a girl, we’ll call her Kelly who identifies as a lesbian. I absolutely adored her and she got on really well with my boyfriend. The three of us would watch movies together and fall asleep in the same bed without feeling uncomfortable. There was one problem, she would occasionally ghost me for 2-4 weeks due to health reasons. She is chronically ill and struggles with mental health. I have also struggled with mental illness and had to leave university for one year because of how bad it got. Nevertheless, I am on treatment now and mostly better. Because I can relate to having mental health issues, I tried to be as supportive as possible but her ghosting me for weeks at a time hurt very much especially because she would not communicate that she intended on having alone time. I would understand if it had been a few days. When she returned each time, she would not apologise until one day I started sobbing because she made me feel really confused and unwanted. She only ever apologised after I revealed that her actions hurt me but if I didn’t, she thought this behaviour was completely normal. It wasn’t the ghosting that hurt the most, it was the lack of communication about when she needed space and, the inability to recognise that her actions hurt me on her own, without any kind of prompt from me.
I eventually ended things with her which was extremely painful and hard to do because I truly loved her and my boyfriend and I enjoyed her company even if it was just sitting and chatting for hours.
Fast forward: I start seeing a new girl, we’ll call her Mary. Mary is a wonderful girl, but I was still hurting a lot from my experience with Kelly and I made her aware from the start that I am still processing a lot of the pain from my experience with my ex and that I’m working on it but that unhealed part of me might cause distrust.
Months go by, Mary and I become a lot closer. Exams start approaching and we’re seeing each other a lot less. It’s difficult to see each other because she doesn’t feel comfortable around my boyfriend and wouldn’t want to come over while he was there so he would have to leave every time we made plans and I hated doing that to him.
I need to give some context before we dive deeper. Over these few months, I spent time with her friends almost everyday at least for an hour and made an effort to get to know each and every single one of them and be on good terms with them. One of her friends called me pretentious to my face solely because I used the word, “idiosyncratic” in a conversation. This caught me off guard and when it happened, all her friends laughed at me including Mary which really hurt me because I would never let that slide if one of my friends said something like that to her let alone laugh. Some of her friends made me uncomfortable and were kind of mean to me? But I sat with them frequently anyway because I cared about her and wanting to make that sacrifice to spend time with her. In contrast, I have few close friends but the person closest to me is my boyfriend, naturally. Mary made no effort to get to know him or even be nice to him and this hurt me because my boyfriend is genuinely a soft and sweet person and I couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t attempt to get to know him seeing as I made so much of an effort with her friends.
I would initiate all our dates, pay for her and essentially give her princess treatment, listen to her and give her advice when she was depressed late at night even if I had a test the next day. I went to my 10am lecture venue 20 minutes early everyday just so I could pass her and chat to her for a bit. I wasn’t perfect but I did give her a lot of my effort and time.
A few times, I vented to her about Kelly and I apologised, saying I hate being that person to talk about their ex. She reassured me that it was okay and she was there for me which brought me so much comfort.
Things go steadily until we got closer to exams and we could barely see each other because her friends are kind of rowdy and rambunctious and it was too hard to study around them so close to exams. In addition, she never wanted to come over unless the boyfriend wasn’t there. We made plans multiple times but something came up each time. I started to miss her a lot and asked my boyfriend if I could have the apartment some time during the week to see her and he was more than happy to stay at res that night. I got her roses, unwrapped and cut them, got rid of all the thorns, spray painted one black because she likes black, rewrapped them, got her chocolates and spent 4 hours cleaning my house.
She texts me asking to move the time we were supposed to meet up from 6pm to 9pm and this initially upsets me because I get anxiety when plans are changed last minute but I said it was fine.
9pm comes, no text. 9:20, nothing. I begin to freak out. She eventually texts me saying she lost her phone in an Uber and is texting from her pc and can’t make it. The exact message was, “I lost my phone in an Uber, i can’t make it.”
I immediately started searching online for ways to track her phone. Tried helping her login to Uber on her laptop and place an enquiry for a lost item, then helped her track the phone using her google account and she found where it was. I googled a bunch of things about the safety of the area to make sure where she was going was safe and told her to take a friend. She gets her phone back and all is well. Then goes to sleep.
Now I don’t know if I’m being dramatic but what stood out to me was the lack of, “I’m sorry that I couldn’t make it, I know you really wanted to see me and probably made your boyfriend leave and put a lot of effort into this. It was a mistake but I am sorry for how it affected your day and feelings.”
This is what I would have said asap if it was me. Yes, she lost her phone by accident but that doesn’t mean that it had no consequences for anyone else. I’ve lost things by accident before and still recognised that I should have been more aware/ responsible and apologise. I am always the first to apologise in situations and sometimes profusely even if it’s not a big deal because I feel really bad when I inconvenience/ upset people.
I messaged her saying it really bothered me that she did not apologise and disregarded how that affected my day, plans and feelings. She messaged back saying she meant to apologise but she was tired and forgot and a bunch of excuses. This didn’t make it better for me. A simple, “You’re right, I did mean to say sorry but it slipped my mind and I should have said that immediately. I appreciate all the effort you made and I’m gonna make it up to you.”
I started to get more upset the more she made excuses and told her that it was resurfacing trauma from my ex because Kelly would only apologise after I said I was hurt and have a million reasons to justify it. I told her I was feeling triggered and I felt like I was reliving bad memories. She sent me a long paragraph saying it’s not okay for me to compare her all the time (I’ve never compared her to Kelly other than this time) and said me talking about how Kelly hurt me put pressure on her to not do the same things. I said I was so sorry for comparing her and I didn’t mean to make her feel bad, I was just expressing that I was feeling triggered and wanted her to stop explaining herself because it was making bad memories resurface. Regardless, I was wrong and I promised that it would never ever happen again and while I was not aware that talking about Kelly pressured her, I am now and want to discuss it more in person BUT I felt like this was the wrong time for her to bring up everything I had done wrong and could do better when she had literally just done something that hurt me and we were discussing that and the conversation just shifted. I said I felt that she was deflecting and that while her points are valid, I wish she had asked to speak in person, apologised and then said she wants to address another issue with me and bring all of those concerns up. I feel like if something has been bothering someone for months in a friendship OR relationship, they shouldn’t choose to finally bring it up in the middle of being called out.
She got defensive then I got defensive, I said I was sorry and never wanted to make her feel that way again and will give her space and she should message me when she is ready to talk. I asked if she still wanted the flowers, she said yes and I brought them to her on Friday.
No text from her after that, nothing. I text on Sunday asking her what’s wrong and she says and I quote, “I've thought about it and I don't think we should keep hanging out or whatever. The way you reacted to me and made me feel really horrible about myself on Wednesday just made me think that that's not how I want to go about situations like those in the future and that I don't think we're suited for each other.”
This gutted me not only because she referred to our relation as “hanging out or whatever” but because I thought we had resolved our problems and were going to work through them together. It also hurt me because she broke up with me via text knowing she would see me the next day on campus after her lecture. It also hurt because she had only said she doesn’t want to see me anymore when I messaged to ask what was going on knowing I had told her I am giving her space and she should message me when she is ready to talk. But this wasn’t talking, it was a definitive decision and instead of telling me, she left me hanging for days, freaking out while waiting for an update. Lack of communication, once again.
I also felt like while I had made a mistake, I gave her a genuine apology, promised not to do it again and wanted to discuss it more. How did I become the villain of the story all of a sudden?
I felt like I had been so good to her and this issue, while valid, wasn’t big enough to break up over and speak to me like I meant nothing. An in-person conversation with something approximating, “You were good to me and I appreciate the effort you made and enjoyed our time together but the way you handled our last argument made me realise that we are not suited for each other. I wish the best for you.” would have been so much kinder and I reread her text over and over again asking myself what I did to deserve a breakup like that.
AITA for comparing her to my ex and saying that she should have brought up the issues she had with me and what I had been doing wrong separately after a genuine in-person apology.
submitted by moveintheshadows to CharlotteDobreYouTube [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:33 tarayari Waterproof laminate. Can I caulk under/at bottom of baseboards instead of backer rod in bedrooms?

I’m using Torlys waterproof laminate and to achieve the waterproofing you’re supposed to put backer rod in the expansion gap then caulk over it and up the wall a little bit with flexible silicone sealant. I will definitely be doing this in the kitchen/bathroom/laundry room. I’m thinking in other areas I will run a bead under the baseboard before installing them and then along the bottoms. But if the floor expands and contracts will this break that seal? Like how flexible is silicone sealant? I really want everything to be fairly waterproof as I have a 4 year old and plan on getting a cat or dog soon.
submitted by tarayari to Flooring [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:31 cbll0120 "Shota Imanaga's Pitching Bible" Preface and Table-of-Contents translated.

Preface:
I started my life as a pitcher first by playing softball during my elementary school years, then "Japanese-style" (rubber-ball) baseball in middle school. I continued on in high school, college, and entered the pros (via the draft in 2015). From all this experience, what I feel most strongly is that baseball is definitely not a "competition amongst pitchers to throw the best pitch". In the game, the ultimate goal is for your team to win, and the pitcher's role in this is to "hold down the batters to prevent runs", this is paramount. Well then, "what is needed for this?", you may ask, and to start, I believe what's needed is "ease of throwing".
Theories for the mechanisms of pitching motion indeed exist, however, no matter how in-line with theory you may think you are, you must pitch in a way that works for you, or else you will struggle with control and become desperate to throw a strike. Basically, instead of the matchup "you versus the hitter" it will instead become a matchup "you vs yourself", which needs to be addressed before ever entering in a game.And so, no matter what your pitching form may become, you must first build a form from which you feel no stress. Only on top of this can you start on further developing a pitching form that is "difficult for batters to hit off" or "throwing one's ideal pitch", this is what I feel is important.
After entering the pros, this is what I have pursued, but to be honest up until around 2020, I kept thinking I had to pitch a certain way. I kept on thinking intensely about the various specific parts of my pitching form. I kept battling with an ever lingering anxiety and restlessness that "something isn't quite right". Finally around 2021, I was able to realize that pursuing a certain ideal form wasn't the most important thing. Towards the end of this season, I started to be able to pitch in a more deftly relaxed way. I then think that moving into 2022 I was able to achieve a feel and mind for my pitching.
This book is a summation of my thoughts. These are my thoughts in the current year 2023, and of course they're probably still not fully realized yet, however that leaves room for me to continue growing in the future. It would make me grateful and very happy if by reading this book you become interested in baseball and even use it as a guide.
Shota Imanaga

Table of Contents:

Preface

Table of Contents

Chapter 1:

Concept of pitching motion

  • Don't adhere to your pitching form and focus on the state of your body when your right foot lands.
  • Understand the "passive" and "active" range of motion of a joint: Preparing for the release, first relax before exerting output.
  • Feel the connection from the body movement and release your body to the side, imagining a cube as you impart vertical rotation on the ball.
  • As long as you don't expose your left shoulder, there is no problem even if your right shoulder opens, Apply force from left to right in a rotational motion.
  • How to produce the most vertical twist at the moment of landing, the key is to imagine tightening a screw with your right leg.

Chatper 2:

The Mechanics Of Each Phase

  • Standing on the first base side of the plate and posture in a cross.
  • Find and set the positions of your ankles, knees, and hip joints that tend to generate force.
  • As if stomping, going from two axes towards one axis
  • Feeling gravity and buoyancy in lockstep around the solar plexus.
  • Feel there is a wall on your left side as you have the right leg lead, accelerating the body.
  • Prioritize movement of the shoulder blades and feeling the power in your torso.
  • The key is where to "drop" the ball to, in order to firmly swing the arm.
  • Bending the right knee slightly and firmly engaging the stop action.
  • Power becomes consistent when the chest tilt and arm angle line up.
  • Ideally, the output and braking should be balanced 50:50

Chapter 3:

Control and Off-speed Pitches

  • Aim the throw not at the catcher's mitt, but in front of the mitt. When pitching from the stretch, the position of the arm at landing becomes more important.
  • The key to control when throwing to the inside corner is how much you rotate your torso using your right leg.
  • The key to controlling pitch height is visualizing your center of gravity and pitch trajectory.
  • The repetoire of pitches including the fastball is 4 types. For off-speed pitches, pursue an off-speed throwing form.
  • 1. Pitch grip for each pitch - Fastball (4 seam)
  • 2. Pitch grip for each pitch - Slider
  • 3. Pitch grip for each pitch - Changeup
  • 4. Pitch grip for each pitch - Curve
  • The "feel" in the left hand

Chapter 4:

How to prepare and what to be aware of for a game

  • Do not over think the first pitch, observe the opponent and feel out their tendencies
  • When something isn't working 100%, do not try to achieve perfection, instead think of ways to win at 60%.
  • Before the game, try going full effort once. When the mound doesn't feel right, focus on relaxed/controlled effort.
  • Follow the planned flow but at the same time, fine-tune with your judgment.
  • Focus on relaxed/controlled effort as much as possible. Firmly obtain the sensation of the fingers engaging the ball.
  • Within 22~23 pitches, check the tendencies of the pitches for the day. Even if they are not working, don't try to forcibly adjust.
  • For every body part, think about the counter movement, and be ever aware of using your body effectively.
  • Shape the glove to be a bit deep and use it so that it doesn't get flattened/squashed. File/Wear Down the shoe spikes just a bit.

Shota Imanaga's NPB Career

Cumulative Stats and Titles, Author Profile

submitted by cbll0120 to CHICubs [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:31 CrunchyMama42 Fallout from a “disciplinary” action… please help!

Okay, so I have a daughter and a step daughter who both attend 8th grade in a k-8 Waldorf school. They have been with the same teacher since 5th grade. This teacher is talented and devoted and loving. However she also seems to have trouble with her emotional regulation, and she doesn’t seem to have consistent standards among her students (holding the “good kids” to a much higher standards than the “problem kid.”)
Last week was the “problem kid’s” birthday celebration, and supposedly my girls were making faces during his birthday song. Not at him, but by themselves or maybe to each other. This is obviously not the kindest thing to do, but they’re 14 and this kid has caused issues and made them uncomfortable in the past.
Right after that was recess, but my girls were kept in. The teacher sent the rest of the kids out, brought my girls to a private room, and told them off for making faces. This conversation then somehow spiraled out of control in a way I don’t really understand.
The teacher asked what they had against this boy, they tried to tell her, she claimed ignorance of the situation, it went back and forth. Apparently this boy has apologized for his past actions and the teacher expects the girls to forgive him and move on. The teacher reportedly said that she has a higher expectation of my step daughter than this boy (SD is very high achieving, talented, and well-behaved. She is also very anxious and stressed by the need to be perfect.)
According to both girls, separately, this teacher actually yelled at them. At one point my step daughter was apparently hyperventilating or maybe having some kind of panic attack. My daughter had her arms wrapped tightly around her sister, and was repeatedly asking the teacher to please stop, that they could continue the conversation but that my SD needed a break. (My daughter is more of a rebel than her sister, less of a perfectionist, and more willing to face teacher disappointment). The teacher didn’t stop.
The meeting lasted all though recess (the teacher did not join in her recess supervision duties) and then all through their next lesson (no idea what the other kids were doing without their teacher! Maybe there was another teacher?), and then somewhat into the next lesson. I’m not exactly sure how long that makes it, but it was over an hour.
No other teachers or admin were involved in this incident, it was just this teacher and these kids alone in a room for more than 60 minutes. Afterwards, nobody reached out to the parents about any of this. No emails, no calls, nothing. We pulled the info out of the girls. My daughter is more or less okay (which doesn’t make the incident okay, but does make me less worried). However my step daughter is a mess.
My main questions are: How is an hour of yelling an appropriate response to teens making faces? How was it appropriate for a teacher to have these kids alone in a room for so long, in a heated discussion? Why did nobody else at the school notice them gone? What are the proposals for a situation like this? Why in the world were none of the parents notified?
So, please tell me your honest reaction to all of this. Was this teacher’s response way overblown or am I the one overreacting? My step daughter’s mother doesn’t want to even send her back for the rest of the year (12 days). Also, how could this be fixed???
Thank you.
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2024.05.19 13:30 RadiantRent2516 Digital Marketing Courses In Ahmednagar

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submitted by RadiantRent2516 to u/RadiantRent2516 [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:28 DifficultSquash3459 My fiancé 26M ghosted me 25F and moved out without a goodbye. What do I do?

My fiancé had a habit of lying to me since day one and I discovered another lie on Thursday, three days ago. It caused an argument and so much frustration, depression, anger, and disappointment in me. He promised again and again that he was done lying and I would believe him, only to be stabbed again in the back when another lie came out a week or a few weeks later. He kept trying to say it was my fault that he would lie to me and that I was overreacting. No apology involved. He also told his mother about the argument even though we discussed in the past that it was not right to do because he only would tell a small portion of the story and of course, he makes himself look like the victim and I'm the one in the bad light. Plus she almost caused us to break up back when we were just dating because of him running to her after fights and she would give him terrible advice to leave me because of the one-sided stories she would hear. Last year when that happened, he would pretend to be all loving and happy with me but then run to his mom if we had the slightest of arguments. For example, if we set some boundaries for ourselves and he wasn't consistent with them, I would confront him. He would tell his mother a terrible version of it and she spun up that I was abusive. So they would talk behind my back like this over lies while he smiled in my face. That's when I knew he could put on such facades and lie so easily. I should have left then, I saw the signs, but I was a fool. There was a part of me that suspected this would happen one day, not the ghosting because never in my dreams would I have imagined him being this evil, but I had a feeling this might not work out. I mean I was always questioning my reality and him especially when he would lie and tell me I was imagining things while swearing on his life, my life, our future unborn children, his parent's life, and on Jesus that was telling the truth. Only later find out he was actually lying and I wasn't imagining it. I mean I gave him my trust again and again, which was so hard for me to do in the first place, and he just kept shattering it even knowing how much it hurt me. So I told him I needed some space for the evening and I said I don't know if I can keep doing this (which he took and ran with even though I said it in the heat of the moment when I was hurt, we have both said things like that before in arguments and didn't mean it) and I asked him to get a hotel just for the night, which he did. The next day, I go into work and I receive one single text telling me I made one small thing into a huge deal. He would try to gaslight me at times and he was HUGE at twisting the role and playing the victim. I responded with the reasons why it was not okay for him to keep lying to me because it hurts me so much and why it wasn't just "one small thing," because behind that lie, so many other issues were there too. I didn't get a response. He usually would text me all day everyday and would be so loving and attentive so it was odd. So I went home that day expecting him to be there to talk about it. I arrive home and his truck isn't there. I walk inside and all of his stuff is moved out and gone. He put a photo of the two of us face down on the table and smashed our Bonsai that we called the Bonsai of Love because it was supposed to resemble our relationship. I called and called and texted and texted yet no response. I was begging him to come home to talk. I apologized for getting upset the night prior and that I just want him back home with me. I just couldn't understand how he could do this. It was all delivering too so I wasn't blocked. It wasn't until 10pm when he blocked me after I texted asking why hasn't he blocked me if he's really done? That was me trying to find hope in the situation that maybe he would return and that's why he didn't block me. Well after that, I was blocked. His mother also removed me from the family group chat. It made me wonder if he was just sitting back and laughing at my pleads for a response and possibly even sharing my distraught and sad messages to others. I suspect his mother played a huge role again because again, she almost caused a break up last year because of getting involved and turning him against me with the knowledge he shared, just enough knowledge to make me the villain. It has been two days and I have been ghosted by my fiancé. He also did this the day of my best friend's wedding rehearsal (I'm her maid of honor) and her wedding was yesterday (which he ghosted them for as well). Imagine how hard it is giving a speech for your best friend and her lovely fiancé, now her husband, when you were just horribly ghosted from your own a day prior and are now single. His empty chair was taunting me the whole time too, it was so hard especially with the love songs but I had to pretend to be happy for them. He was such a coward that he never even gave me an explanation or an apology or a goodbye. He ghosted his ex in the past when leaving her yet he at least gave her a phone call. Our relationship was much, much more serious and significant than that was too (theirs seemed more like a high-school type relationship) yet I still received nothing. We lived together, were engaged, spent every second together when we weren't at work, we had so many vacations planned (a weekend away to Lake George next week and an Alaskan cruise next month), on each other's insurance plans & phone bills & renters insurance & even pet insurance, we had a retirement plan set up, we were so close, things were so good because we meshed so well together. Yes, we argued here and there but every couple does, especially those that spend so much time together but his lies were what caused the most distress especially because the negative impact carried on for so long. I have my own issues as does he but he always said we would work through them together and that I never have to worry about him leaving. I would always put him and his needs before me. I would wake up a lot earlier than I have to in order to make him breakfast and lunch for his work day before I started getting ready for work myself and I would just throw something together sloppy, real quick for me. I was so good to him. Again, I do have my flaws and we argued at times but most of the time things were so wonderful. And what really blows my mind is that just days prior to this, he was telling me he wanted our wedding to be in October, we were both planning to move to Colorado and have been getting interviewed for jobs, how excited he was, he would tell me daily again and again that he loved me so much unconditionally, was fully committed to me for the rest of my life, and that he would never leave me. Then he did this. After so much time together, after I brought him into my home, my life... he couldn't even give me the respect or decency to communicate to me. I thought God brought this man into my life, the one I thought I was waiting for. Now I can't help but feel angry at God. He would call me his best friend, soulmate, his entire future. He promised away his life to me like I did mine. I guess it never meant anything to him. How could you treat someone you claim to care for and love like this? It is hard because I know he loved me, I do think if he didn't have his mother in his ear, he wouldn't have done this. But either way, he did do it. He is awful and she is just as bad. I hope karma comes their way. He knows I have abandonment issues and trauma yet he did this without any remorse, it seems. I'll never know.
What kind of monster... I just can't wrap my head around it. No closure. My friends and family are just as shocked and tell me it will hurt for now because it really is mourning a loss but it is a blessing in disguise. That I wouldn't have been happy in a marriage full of lies and distrust. All I know is that I am hurting really bad still. I am hoping I feel better soon. I have never experienced this kind of treatment or hurt before.
tl;dr My fiancé moved out without my knowledge when I was away at work for the day and he has since ghosted and blocked me without any communication. This was two days ago. What do I do? I miss him and our relationship. But I don't think he's coming back. How do I cope?
submitted by DifficultSquash3459 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:27 anotherbaby Babymoon in Charleston

Hello, Charleston locals and frequent visitors!
My spouse and I are planning a babymoon and are considering two hotels for a weekend getaway. We're deciding between Hotel Bennett downtown and The Sanctuary at Kiawah Island. We've stayed at The Sanctuary before and loved it, but we're curious about Hotel Bennett as a new option.
We live in Charleston and don't want to travel far, just a relaxing break from the kids for a weekend.
  1. Which hotel would you recommend for a babymoon?
  2. What are your thoughts on Hotel Bennett compared to The Sanctuary?
Additionally, we want to make this trip special with a memorable dining experience. We've been to all the big steakhouses and are looking for something unique and special for my wife.
  1. What restaurant in Charleston would you recommend for a special dinner?
Looking forward to your suggestions! Thanks in advance!
submitted by anotherbaby to Charleston [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:27 KennStack We made our first sale in 8 days!!!

Since the beginning of this year, we decided to build a portfolio of small bets (having at least two products among our assets)… after launching our first product (EarlyAccess .to), we made our sale around two months later.
When we soft-launched our second product (liw .bio) on May 6th (2024) and on May 14th, we made our first sale 🔥 without a ProductHunt or something! Something I would never imagine, and I wanted to share what I’ve learned (although I’m not a SaaS giant, not an expert yet!).
  1. Never expected this!
The unexpected happens when we’re getting ready. It would be easy for us to sit down and not start sharing with people we know (or our current ~200 users newsletter launched through our first product)… We were focused on going to market as soon as possible, and shipping features fast, while also sharing or making some noise about it already. (For context, I’m the technical cofounder).
  1. Lessons learned
    1. Build a “portfolio of small bets”
Life is tough. You don’t need to invest all your energy in a product that doesn’t sell (yet), especially when you’re bootstrapping the business. When failure comes, it’s easy to get depressed and burnout. (I’ve been there, before getting a cofounder). So, it’s better to invest around 1-2 months on a product and be ready to move on or add another product until you the one that works (or sometimes both of them work!).
2. Always work on an “already validated” market (competition is great!), if you’re a beginner 
You don’t have VC behind you (unless you have!), so why would you want to suffer working on trying hard to validate a product idea in a market? See, it requires a lot of time, energy, and money to validate a business (that’s even why we launched our first product), and you don’t wanna suffer like that, you have life. Launch a product in a market that’s already established and validated. If there are stronger competitors, that’s great, because it will help you focus only on the features that will make your difference…
For our product, we know the “link-in-bio” market, is very crowded with tools. So, what we had to work on was to focus on pricing (our early pricing: $0, $9/year, and so on) with a cheap yearly subscription, the UI/UX (simpler, with less noise), while having the core features of a typical “link-in-bio”, as our starting point (before adding more features).
3. Go from product to landing page, not the other way around 
For technical founders (with a design taste), I’d say it’s better to build the MVP first before building your “fancy” landing page. This is my first time doing this way since I always start with my “fancy landing page”, which takes longer. Once you have an MVP up and running, you can start building your landing page (which we’re still improving lol).
4. Ship fast, but usefully 
Execution is key. Building one or two features per day is enough for you to get things done in a matter of days or weeks (at most 4 weeks?). This helps you keep up with motivation and energy. And it’s OK to have stubborn bugs sometimes, it’s part of the journey. Trust the process.
5. Start cheap, but increase price later 
Although not a big fan of very cheap products, sometimes it’s necessary to get started with a cheaper product in the market. This can help have your first users try the product and send you feedback to improve your MVP. And that’s what we did: we came up with the cheap yearly plan as mentioned above to attract… and it worked! Somebody (we don’t even know) purchased (maybe because they wanted to grab their favorite username/handle haha! I don’t know, but they purchased the product!)
Of course, we’re going to increase the price in the coming days. But for the past few days, we wanted to get something that would get us going and motivated about our product. Now, we know we can sell, we’ll move on to the next level.
6. Make noise 
People will only know about your product if you launch or share something about it. (I’m an introvert, but I’m learning to make things better by becoming vocal about my products, not gonna give up!)
7. Keep showing up 
That’s it. That’s the point.
  1. What’s our next step?
I’m already shipping new features :) (store connected to Shopify and Amazon, affiliate links, custom themes, etc) and we’re working on sharing more with the public, to get us known, so that people can try our product.
Thanks for reading!
submitted by KennStack to SideProject [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:26 Stage-Piercing727 Best Case Hawkbill Knife

Best Case Hawkbill Knife

https://preview.redd.it/03gqus0jbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9be95d527eab77de16d75031699654fac8afa153
Hold onto your hat, folks! Today we're delving into a world of sharp edges and sleek design: the Case Hawkbill Knife. Don't miss out on this thrilling adventure, as we explore the finer points of this versatile blade and its place in the grand tapestry of cutlery. Get ready to fold and unfold the Case Hawkbill Knife in all its glory!

The Top 19 Best Case Hawkbill Knife

  1. Tru-Sharp Stainless Pocket Trimmer with Blue Bone Handle - Experience unmatched durability and versatility with the Blue Bone Trapper, featuring Tru-Sharp Stainless Steel blades and a vibrant orange synthetic handle for everyday outdoor projects.
  2. Handcrafted Carbon Steel Knife with Dark Red Bone Handle - The Case XX USA - Small Congress Dark Red Bone CA31949 Carbon Steel is a stunning, handcrafted knife featuring dark red jigged bone handles and carbon steel bolsters, making it a high-quality and versatile choice for everyday needs.
  3. Beautiful Navy Blue Bone Stockman Pocket Knife - Experience the ultimate blend of style and performance with Case Medium Navy Blue Bone Stockman Pocket, a meticulously handcrafted knife boasting a jigged bone handle and Tru-Sharp SS blade, achieving a 4.7-star rating from 32 reviews.
  4. Yellow Mini Trapper Pocket Knife for Kids - CASE 029 Mini Trapper Pocket Knife: A versatile and durable yellow-handled knife with two blades, perfect for outdoor enthusiasts and trappers, making it a must-have in the CASE line.
  5. Old Red Bone Case Hawkbill Knife for Everyday Use - Discover the ultimate versatility and durability of the Case Trapper Pocket Worn Old Red Bone Knife, perfect for small game trapping and your daily needs, with its long-lasting Tru-Sharp stainless steel blades and jigged bone handle crafted in the USA.
  6. Amber Jigged Bone Stockman Amber Bone Knife with CV-Carbon Steel Blades - The Case Large Stockman Amber Bone is a versatile and durable pocket knife, featuring three essential blades for everyday tasks, crafted from premium, long-lasting chrome vanadium steel, while combining beauty and functionality for ultimate satisfaction.
  7. Stained Glass Trapper Folding Knife with Natural Bone Handle - Experience the beauty of stained glass and functionality of a Trapper with the 5.0 rated Case 38714 Trapper Stained Glass Wings Folding Knife, crafted in the USA and featuring Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel for superior durability.
  8. Handcrafted Gray Bone Case SM Congress Jigged Bone Pocket Knife - Experience the perfect blend of craftsmanship and tradition with the Case XX 58422 SM Congress Pocket Worn Gray, featuring a handcrafted carbon steel handle, a versatile sheepsfoot blade, and a pen blade, all in a compact and durable design.
  9. Premium Aesthetic Case Aquarius Corelon Trapper Knife - Experience the superior craftsmanship and exceptional durability of the Case Cutlery 9254AQ Aquarius Corelon Trapper with Tru-Sharp surgical steel blades and handle design options in blue and green.
  10. Case 50954 Iraqi Freedom Knife: Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel and Natural Bone Handle - Experience the premium craftsmanship of the Case 50954 Iraqi Freedom Hawkbill Knife, featuring a Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel blade, Natural Bone handle, and an intricate 6254 SS pattern, all proudly handcrafted in the U.S.A.
  11. Antique Bone Handle Hawkbill Pocket Knife - Experience the timeless allure of the Case 52832 Antique Trapper with its jigged bone handle and Tru-Sharp stainless steel blade, offering a perfect blend of elegance and durability.
  12. Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel Hawkbill Knife with Blue Bone Handle - Experience the luxury of a handcrafted, surgical-grade stainless steel knife with a blue bone handle from Case XX, now available in a small Congress design.
  13. Case XX Trapper Knife: High-Quality, Custom-Made in the USA - The Case XX Mulberry Synthetic 4254 Trapper, an American-made trapping knife, boasts a Tru-Sharp stainless steel blade, mulberry smooth synthetic handle, and nickel silver bolster, providing durability and precision for all your trapping needs.
  14. American-Made Mini Trapper Pocket Knife for USAF Enthusiasts - Crafted in the USA, the Case 32402 U.S. Air Force Mini Trapper features Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel and a Navy Blue Synthetic Handle, making it a reliable and durable choice for everyday use.
  15. Premium Amber Bone Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel Hawkbill Knife - Experience the perfect everyday pocket knife with the Case Amber Bone Peanut, featuring Tru-Sharp surgical stainless steel blades and a peach seed jig amber bone handle.
  16. Case Crandall Gray Pocket Trapper Knife - Chrome Vanadium Steel Blade - Discover the versatility of the Case XX 58410 Trapper Crandall Gray, a dependable folding knife for trappers with its jigged bone handle and Chrome Vanadium blades, offering reliable edge-holding and easy re-sharpening.
  17. Premium Hand-Crafted Case AQ Aquarius Trapper Knife - Crafted with precision and craftsmanship, the Case Hawkbill Knife is a reliable and durable outdoor tool for everyday use, perfect for hunting, camping, and all your adventures.
  18. Premium Hand-Crafted Corelon Ablone Hawkbill Knife - The Case Hawkbill Knife, a true work of art by skilled US artisans, boasts premium construction, versatile blades, and stunning abalone corelon handles, making it a reliable, stylish, and functional choice for any cutting task.
  19. Patriotic American Hawkbill Pocket Knife - Celebrate the values, history, and spirit of America with the Case Trapper Star Spangled Pocket Knife, featuring mirror-polished Tru-Sharp surgical stainless steel blades and natural bone handles.
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Reviews

🔗Tru-Sharp Stainless Pocket Trimmer with Blue Bone Handle


https://preview.redd.it/rjw3u3ljbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8776196bf63001f64c3f3f4cfb34dced8a3efbe8
Recently, I came across a Case Knife Blue Bone Trapper, and I must say it's a gem. The vibrant orange synthetic handle made it easy to locate when I was outdoors, especially on my hunting trips. The clip and spey blades were incredibly versatile, making it an all-around useful tool for my projects around the house, outdoors, and hunting.
One of the standout features was the Tru-Sharp Stainless Steel blades, which held their edge much longer than conventional steel. Plus, the extraordinary blade strength and corrosion resistance added to the durability of this folding knife. It served as a great everyday pocket knife for me, and I found myself reaching for it often.
However, I did notice that the knife's closed length was slightly larger than I would have preferred for pocket carry. Also, the non-locking slip joint lock felt less secure compared to locking mechanisms. Despite these minor drawbacks, the Case Knife Blue Bone Trapper proved to be a reliable and beautiful addition to my collection.

🔗Handcrafted Carbon Steel Knife with Dark Red Bone Handle


https://preview.redd.it/29po69wjbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=51dc46cf756e55d62991b81c56c4cf0c9c9f95fd
I recently had the chance to use the Case XX USA - Small Congress Dark Red Bone CA31949 Carbon Steel knife in my daily life. The first thing that stood out to me was the carbon steel blade, which offered a sharp and sturdy cutting surface. The Dark Red Bone handle provided a comfortable and solid grip, perfect for various tasks.
One of the most impressive features of this knife was its handcrafted design, showcasing the artistry and attention to detail of the U. S. A. -based craftsmen who created it. The carbon steel sheepsfoot blade and pen blades were mirror finish, giving the knife an elegant and unique look. However, it's worth mentioning that the knife is not lightweight, as it weighs 1.2 oz.
While using it, I also noticed the nickel silver bolster(s) and the inlay shield, adding a touch of sophistication to this functional tool. The boxed packaging was an added bonus, making it a great gift for someone special.
Overall, I found this Case XX USA - Small Congress Dark Red Bone CA31949 Carbon Steel knife to be a high-quality and reliable tool. Its distinctive design and solid construction make it a worthwhile investment for those who value craftsmanship and durability in their cutting instruments.

🔗Beautiful Navy Blue Bone Stockman Pocket Knife


https://preview.redd.it/f1q6zwckbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7fd9cd53e57899855c1b36bbba96e05ca8db5013
I recently tried out the Navy Blue Bone Stockman Pocket Knife, and I must say, I was impressed. From the moment I took it out of the package, the quality was apparent. The handle, made of jigged bone with a Tru-Sharp SS blade, felt comfortable in my hand, and the blue color added a nice touch to its appearance.
One of the best features of this knife is its versatility. The 6.5 cm blade is just the right length for everyday tasks and can easily be carried in my pocket. The weight, at 65 grams, is also perfectly manageable. It's perfect for everyday use and outdoor adventures.
While I loved the knife's construction, sharpness, and size, there was one thing that bothered me. The knife was delivered by a less-than-ideal shipping method, which caused it to be placed in my neighbor's mailbox instead of mine. I would have preferred it if the shipping was more streamlined and the knife was delivered directly to my doorstep.
Overall, I'm really happy with my Navy Blue Bone Stockman Pocket Knife. It's well-crafted, functional, and a great addition to my collection of everyday carry items.

🔗Yellow Mini Trapper Pocket Knife for Kids


https://preview.redd.it/fg3dvaqkbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55c659394d2dfab6949e357865dd906634d4a7fc
Recently, I found myself using the CASE Mini Trapper pocket knife in my daily life. This versatile tool has made all the difference in my outdoorsy adventures, as it fits perfectly in the pocket and is easy to access when needed. The bright yellow handle really stands out, not only making it easy to spot in a backpack or bag but also adding a touch of personality to it.
I've noticed the knife has two full-length blades, the 'clip' blade and the 'spey' blade. The clip blade is perfect for detail work or cutting small items efficiently, while the spey blade is an all-purpose utility blade that can handle most tasks. The knife is constructed with the robust chrome vanadium steel, known for its excellent edge-holding ability and easy resharpening. Although the steel isn't as resistant to rusting as stainless steel, it adds to the knife's unique charm, making it a lifelong companion.
However, an aspect that I found less appealing was the susceptibility to potential rusting. While it may not be a deal-breaker for some, it's worth considering for those who plan to use the knife heavily or in humid environments. Nonetheless, its solid build, smooth operating mechanism, and durable construction make this pocket knife an undeniable staple in my kit. If you're looking for a reliable tool that adds a touch of style while still maintaining practicality, the CASE Mini Trapper pocket knife is worth a try.

🔗Old Red Bone Case Hawkbill Knife for Everyday Use


https://preview.redd.it/y3ekeq2lbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea6624e11be0fd788cc9c63eaffb42d4d65560b7
I've been using the Case Trapper Pocket Worn Old Red Bone Knife for a while now, and I must say, it's a beauty. Every time I take it out of my pocket, I can feel the quality in my hands. The red bone handle is not only eye-catching but also provides a comfortable grip.
The Tru-Sharp stainless steel blades are another highlight - they're sharp and hold their edge really well. The knife is perfect for those who enjoy trapping and skinning small game, as it's lightweight and has both a Clip and a Spey blade.
However, there is one downside. The knife is quite large, which can be a bit inconvenient when carrying it around in your pocket. But overall, I'm really happy with my purchase. It's like having a piece of art with me at all times that also happens to be a useful tool.

🔗Amber Jigged Bone Stockman Amber Bone Knife with CV-Carbon Steel Blades


https://preview.redd.it/vvmax3mlbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f17c182514a061f16dcbe3d9b5439c504af232b4
A couple of months ago, I decided to try out this Case Large Stockman Amber Bone pocket knife, and let me tell you, it did not disappoint. Firstly, the amber jigged bone handle not only adds an elegant touch but also provides a perfect grip. This knife was designed to serve many purposes, and it shines in each one.
The sheepsfoot blade was a game-changer for me, making it smooth and convenient to use, perfect for carving and getting those clean cuts. But the icing on the cake is the clip blade, which is incredibly versatile, coming in handy for all the everyday tasks around my place.
One thing that did catch me off guard was the resilience of the chrome vanadium steel used in making the blades. While some might worry about its susceptibility to rust and discoloration, I found it easy to sharpen and maintain.
The thing that I absolutely love about this pocket knife is its construction and build quality. It is solid, and it oozes class. However, if you're a fan of stainless steel, you might not appreciate this aspect as much.
In conclusion, I'd say this product is the epitome of quality and craftsmanship. It's an all-in-one knife that's both a collectible and a utility knife. Sure, it has its pros and cons, but the experience of using it outweighs any minor drawbacks. Would I recommend it? Absolutely!

🔗Stained Glass Trapper Folding Knife with Natural Bone Handle


https://preview.redd.it/z8rqmacmbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=350adc9791761d429710cb0d736aa8fb0fbc1bf3
I recently had the pleasure of using this Case Trapper Angel Wings Folding Knife, and let me tell you, it's a beauty to behold! The stained glass angel wings on the handle make this knife truly unique. The natural bone handles, featuring a color wash and black definition, catch the light perfectly.
With a Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel blade, I found that this knife held its edge quite well and was surprisingly sturdy despite its lightweight build. The knife comes with both a Clip and a Spey blade, each serving a different purpose. The Clip is excellent for intricate tasks, while the Spey is versatile enough for any everyday use.
One particularly impressive aspect of this product is its construction with Case Tru-Sharp stainless steel. This material ensures the blade stays sharp for longer and offers impeccable corrosion resistance. The quality of this knife is evident from its handcrafted design in the United States.
In terms of packaging, the product arrives in a sleek black velvet box, perfect for storing and displaying the knife. Overall, my experience with this Trapper Angel Wings Folding Knife has been nothing short of delightful – a must-have addition to any enthusiast's collection.

🔗Handcrafted Gray Bone Case SM Congress Jigged Bone Pocket Knife


https://preview.redd.it/fg3hujrmbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8073c912ee58c0889b5f888606310ef4dcc24623
I recently had the chance to try out the Case Small Congress Jigged Bone 58422, and let me tell you, it's quite a find. This little pocket knife is not only a perfect addition to my everyday carry, but it also has a unique charm to it.
The curved handle, made from gray bone, fits my hand nicely and gives a sturdy grip. The craftsmanship is evident in the way it was handcrafted in the United States – you can tell a lot of care and attention went into making this pocket knife.
The blade itself is made of carbon steel, which might seem a bit heavy for some, but I found it to be quite sharp and durable. It comes with two blades – a sheepsfoot, perfect for trimming hooves, and a pen blade for lighter work.
However, as much as I love this pocket knife, it's definitely not for everyone. Not only does it weigh a little more than other pocket knives, but the carbon steel blade might also be a bit of a risk when it comes to rust.
All in all, the Case Small Congress Jigged Bone 58422 is a fantastic choice for those who enjoy a traditional, compact pocket knife with a little extra heft and sharpness. But be sure to take proper care of it, and you'll be rewarded with a reliable and functional tool.

🔗Premium Aesthetic Case Aquarius Corelon Trapper Knife


https://preview.redd.it/b6qcxg7nbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88f48c3a6901a74672abf5f713046383eb8a8560
Recently, I had the chance to try out the Aquarius Trapper from W. R. Case & Sons, a premium American brand of handmade knives. This versatile pocket knife, crafted from the highest quality materials, instantly caught my attention with its durability and performance. Made by skilled artisans in the United States, it offers a wide range of features that make it a must-have for anyone in need of a reliable and durable tool.
One of the standout features of this Trapper knife is the Tru-Sharp surgical steel blades that provide excellent cutting capabilities. The clip and spey blades are a nice touch, offering versatility for different tasks. Additionally, the handles are made of durable Corelon Aquarius, which adds to the knife's overall durability and quality.
While I loved the attractive design and vibrant color options, I did notice that the knife seemed a bit prone to scratches when carried in my pocket. This prompted me to suggest that the manufacturer consider providing a cloth pouch to protect the knife during transportation. Overall, the Aquarius Trapper from Case Cutlery is an impressive tool, crafted with precision and care that makes it stand out among other pocket knives in the market.

🔗Case 50954 Iraqi Freedom Knife: Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel and Natural Bone Handle


https://preview.redd.it/m2h3bnrnbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2696bbfdc4c11458976f65eacdc82e16dc56bf40
Imagine walking into a dimly lit room, the scent of old leather and polished steel lingering in the air. In one corner, nestled among antique weapons, you find a knife that instantly catches your eye. It's a Hawkbill Knife from the War Series, designed in the image of a classic Iraqi Freedom pattern.
The blade is made from Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel, a choice that ensures durability and precision. The handle, carved from natural bone, fits comfortably in the hand, a testament to the craftsmanship of its creators. Handcrafted in the United States, each knife bears the mark of its origin - a symbol of quality and pride.
With a closed length of 4.13 inches, this Hawkbill Knife is compact yet potent. The spey blades, mirror finish stainless clip, and nickel silver bolster showcase the attention to detail that has gone into its creation. As you hold it, the Iraqi Freedom handle embellishment stands out, a unique touch that adds a layer of depth to your experience.
Unfortunately, there are a few aspects that could be improved. The weight of the knife at 4.0 ounces might not be suitable for everyone. Moreover, the overall design may not appeal to all, but for those who appreciate the history and craftsmanship that goes into each piece, the Hawkbill Knife from the War Series is truly special.

🔗Antique Bone Handle Hawkbill Pocket Knife


https://preview.redd.it/8i04li8obd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d42bc6e9137ec3737e055b54d1dcac40e74357c8
I've been using the Antique Bone Trapper for a few weeks now, and it's been quite a pleasure. The handle in jigged bone, with a rich, caramel brown tone, exudes an elegant, classic feel that makes you want to hold it and use it every day.
Plus, the Tru-Sharp SS blade adds durability and smoothness to cutting through tasks. However, I do wish the knife had been sharpened out of the box - just a bit of extra effort on my part before it could perform at its best.
Don't let this minor inconvenience deter you from trying it out. The Antique Bone Trapper is a fantastic addition to any collection or daily toolkit.

🔗Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel Hawkbill Knife with Blue Bone Handle


https://preview.redd.it/17jzskmobd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa2352668a7c7181424c6f62c66d4bd9522f35af
I was intrigued by the Case XX 02845 SM Congress Blue Bone knives. The mirrored stainless steel blades and blue jigged bone handle were visually appealing. But the slipjoint lock was a bit unwieldy.
It took some practice to get the hang of it. The Tru-Sharp Surgical Steel blades held their shine for a reasonable amount of time, which was convenient. However, for a small knife with a 3-inch closed length, it lacked maneuverability in some situations.
Nevertheless, I appreciated the American craftsmanship that went into making this compact, pocket-friendly knife.

🔗Case XX Trapper Knife: High-Quality, Custom-Made in the USA


https://preview.redd.it/8xdr9pwobd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb4f0959165a7352bf3932b58d6fa9c1a0205122
I recently had the chance to try out the Case XX Mulberry Synthetic 4254 Trapper. It's a handsome little knife, featuring a beautiful Mulberry synthetic handle that gives it a lovely, slightly textured grip. The Tru-Sharp stainless steel blades are quite sharp, and the spey blades are perfect for those who like a little added functionality.
One of the things I appreciated most about this knife is that it's handcrafted right here in the United States. The attention to detail is evident, from the mirror finish stainless clip to the nickel silver bolster. However, something I noticed that might be a drawback for some is its weight - at only 3.7oz, it's a pretty light knife in comparison to others.
Using this knife daily, I found it quite versatile and practical. But overall, the Case XX Mulberry Synthetic 4254 Trapper is a product that combines both beauty and functionality, making it stand out among its competitors in the market.

🔗American-Made Mini Trapper Pocket Knife for USAF Enthusiasts


https://preview.redd.it/dtly2b9pbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f126e1ec8dda1b145022f9e7c22d91dbc9cafb63
I had the opportunity to test the Case 32402 Mini Trapper, a tiny pocket knife packed with impressive features. One of the highlights that stood out to me was the Tru-Sharp Surgical Stainless Steel, which provided durable sharpness that lasted through various tasks.
The Navy Blue Synthetic Handle offered a comfortable, ergonomic grip, allowing me to navigate my way around the miniature knife with ease. In addition, it added a touch of style to the design, making it stand out.
However, I did experience a small disadvantage - the Mini Trapper's manual-open design made it a bit challenging to access and open with just one hand. Despite this minor inconvenience, I still found great value in the United States Air Force W. R. Case & Sons Cutlery Co. 32402. Overall, it was a reliable and aesthetically pleasing addition to my daily life.

Buyer's Guide

A Case Hawkbill Knife, also known as a pen knife or a pocket knife, is a versatile and practical tool. It offers a variety of functions, including cutting, opening, and even breaking objects like nails. This buyer's guide will provide an overview of essential factors to consider when purchasing a Case Hawkbill Knife, as well as some general recommendations.

Materials


https://preview.redd.it/jj9ke12sbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f437e0147541de2c0e36542b8d78f424aab20e2a
One of the first things to consider is the materials used to make the knife. Good-quality knives are typically made from carbon steel, stainless steel, or high-carbon stainless steel. These materials provide durability, corrosion resistance, and sharpness. Consider the climate where you'll use the knife, as well as the type of objects you'll be cutting. Stainless steel may be a better choice if you live in a humid or salty environment. Meanwhile, high-carbon steel could be preferable for a more precise or versatile edge. Remember to check if the blade locks or unlocks securely when using it.

Design Features

There are several design features to consider when buying a Case Hawkbill Knife. A locking mechanism is essential for safety and ensuring that the blade remains closed when not in use. Popular locking mechanisms include friction locks and spring-loaded locks. Pay attention to the size and weight of the knife, as well as the design of the handle. Some handles are ergonomic for comfortable use, while others have built-in features for opening cans or bottles caps.

Brand Reputation

Another important aspect to consider is the brand reputation. Case has a long history of producing high-quality knives with excellent value for money. However, new brands or lesser-known manufacturers may offer excellent products as well. Research online reviews, customer testimonials, and manufacturer's warranty policies to ensure that you're getting a reliable and durable product.

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Maintenance Tips

To extend the life of your Case Hawkbill Knife, proper maintenance is essential. Always clean the knife by wiping the blade with a cloth and removing any debris on the handle. To prevent rust, you should avoid submerging the knife in water or storing it in a humid area. Regularly re-lubricating the hinges and locking mechanism is also recommended. For the blade, sharpen or hone it as needed to maintain its cutting edge.

Price

The price of a Case Hawkbill Knife can vary based on factors such as materials, design features, and brand reputation. Shop around for the best deals and consider your budget when purchasing one. Remember that spending a bit more on a well-built knife may save you money in the long run by offering better durability and requiring fewer repairs or replacements.

FAQ


https://preview.redd.it/51bmvuvsbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=429a6591dce51d6b8e1ba293567711a7e343a151

What is a Hawkbill knife?

A Hawkbill knife is a type of folding knife that features a unique and distinctive blade shape, which resembles the head of a hawk. It is characterized by its curved, hooked tip that is ideal for piercing, cutting, and gripping materials. This knife is versatile, strong, and highly functional.

What are the main features of a Case Hawkbill Knife?

  • Strong blade made of high-carbon stainless steel
  • Unique Hawkbill blade shape for improved grip and cutting
  • Smooth, secure locking mechanism for enhanced safety
  • High-quality materials and construction for durability
  • Variety of colors and patterns to choose from

https://preview.redd.it/gndjx0htbd1d1.jpg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8b2bf46874b045fe65b3e577954ae9138bcc9080

What are the different blade sizes available for Case Hawkbill Knives?

Case Hawkbill Knives come in various blade sizes, ranging from smaller pocket knives to larger hunting knives. Common blade sizes include 1-1/2 inch, 2 inch, 2-1/2 inch, 3-1/2 inch, 4-1/2 inch, and 6-inch.

Are Case Hawkbill Knives suitable for everyday use?

Yes, Case Hawkbill Knives are suitable for everyday use. Their strong, durable construction and versatile blade shape make them ideal for everyday tasks and activities.

What is the warranty for Case Hawkbill Knives?

Case Hawkbill Knives typically come with a limited lifetime warranty, which covers defects in materials and workmanship. Warranty information may vary depending on the specific model and manufacturer.

Where can I purchase a Case Hawkbill Knife?

Case Hawkbill Knives are available from various retailers, both online and in physical stores, including major outdoor and sporting goods retailers, as well as specialized knife shops. It is also recommended to check the manufacturer's official website for availability and authorized dealers.

Are there any reviews or ratings available for Case Hawkbill Knives?

Yes, there are numerous reviews and ratings available for Case Hawkbill Knives on various websites, such as Amazon, outdoor gear stores, and other online retail platforms. These ratings and reviews can provide valuable insights into the product's performance, quality, and overall user satisfaction.
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2024.05.19 13:26 Sweet-Count2557 12 Outdoor Ice Skating Rinks Across Connecticut for Winter Family Fun

12 Outdoor Ice Skating Rinks Across Connecticut for Winter Family Fun
12 Outdoor Ice Skating Rinks Across Connecticut for Winter Family Fun Are you ready to slide into winter with some chilly family fun? Connecticut has got you covered with not one, not two, but twelve outdoor ice skating rinks just waiting to be explored.From the picturesque town of Stamford to the vibrant city of Hartford, there's a perfect spot for everyone to lace up their skates and glide across the ice.So, grab your mittens and join us as we take a journey through the frozen wonderland of Connecticut's outdoor ice skating rinks.Key TakeawaysThere are outdoor ice skating rinks available in various cities across Connecticut, including Stamford, Westport, Darien, Redding, Fairfield, New Haven, and Hartford.Each rink has its own unique features and offerings, such as the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford, which spans over 9,000 feet of ice and is open most days through February.Some rinks have specific opening dates, such as the Westport PAL Rink in Westport, which is scheduled to open on November 25, 2022, weather permitting.Certain rinks, like Gorhams Pond in Darien, offer picturesque winter scenes and invite families for ice skating. Skating seasons may start earlier in locations with colder weather.Stamford Ice Skating CenterLocated in Stamford, the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center offers an expansive 9,000 feet of ice for an exhilarating outdoor skating experience. Our center is the perfect place for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages and skill levels. Whether you're a beginner looking to learn the basics or an experienced skater looking to improve your skills, we've a variety of ice skating lessons and programs to suit your needs. Our highly trained instructors are dedicated to providing a safe and supportive environment for learning and growth.At the Stamford Ice Skating Center, we also offer a range of special events and activities to enhance your skating experience. From themed skate nights to holiday celebrations, there's always something exciting happening on the ice. Bring your friends and family for a fun-filled day of skating and enjoy our festive atmosphere.In addition to our regular ice skating sessions, we host a variety of special events throughout the season. Whether it's a figure skating competition, a hockey tournament, or a charity fundraiser, there's always something happening at the Stamford Ice Skating Center. Join us for thrilling performances and support the local skating community.Westport PAL RinkAfter enjoying the exciting skating experience at the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford, it's time to venture to the Westport PAL Rink for more open-air skating near the picturesque Long Island Sound. Westport PAL Rink offers a variety of activities and events for skaters of all ages and skill levels.One of the highlights of the Westport PAL Rink is its skating schedule and events. The rink is open for public skating sessions throughout the week, providing ample opportunity for families and friends to enjoy the ice together. Additionally, the rink hosts special events such as theme nights, live music, and even ice shows. These events add an extra element of excitement and entertainment to the skating experience, making each visit to the rink a memorable one.For beginners or those looking to improve their skating skills, Westport PAL Rink also offers skating lessons. These lessons are taught by experienced instructors who are dedicated to helping skaters develop their abilities and confidence on the ice. Whether you're a complete novice or just looking to refine your technique, the skating lessons at Westport PAL Rink are designed to cater to your individual needs and goals.With its beautiful location near the Long Island Sound, the Westport PAL Rink provides a unique and invigorating outdoor skating experience. Skaters can enjoy the crisp winter air and scenic views as they glide across the ice. The rink's open-air setting adds a sense of freedom and liberation to the skating experience, allowing skaters to fully embrace the joy of gliding on the ice.Gorhams Pond in DarienGorhams Pond in Darien offers a picturesque winter scene for families and individuals to enjoy the exhilarating activity of ice skating. Here are three reasons why Gorhams Pond in Darien is the perfect destination for family-friendly ice skating activities and winter scenery:Timing of the Ice Skating Season: Gorhams Pond in Darien starts its ice skating season earlier than other rinks due to the colder weather in the area. This means that you can hit the ice sooner and make the most of the winter season. Imagine gliding across the frozen pond, surrounded by the beauty of nature, with the crisp winter air filling your lungs. It's a truly liberating experience.Family-Friendly Activities: Gorhams Pond in Darien isn't just about ice skating. It offers a range of family-friendly activities to keep everyone entertained. From ice hockey games to figure skating lessons, there's something for everyone. You can spend quality time with your loved ones, creating memories that will last a lifetime. And with the stunning winter scenery as your backdrop, every moment spent at Gorhams Pond will feel like a winter wonderland.Winter Scenery: One of the highlights of Gorhams Pond in Darien is its picturesque winter scenes. The pond is surrounded by tall trees, their branches covered in a blanket of snow. The glistening ice reflects the sunlight, creating a magical atmosphere. Whether you're a seasoned skater or a beginner, you'll be captivated by the serene beauty of the surroundings. It's a place where you can escape the hustle and bustle of daily life and immerse yourself in the freedom of the winter season.Redding Community CenterTucked away in a quiet corner of Redding, the Redding Community Center offers a convenient and inviting location for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages. This hidden gem provides a safe and enjoyable experience for families looking to have some winter fun on the ice.The Redding Community Center boasts a flexible skating schedule that caters to various preferences and schedules. From dawn to dusk, the ice rink is open every day, allowing visitors to choose a time that works best for them.One of the standout features of the Redding Community Center is its designated evening skate times. These evening sessions create a magical atmosphere, with twinkling lights illuminating the ice and creating a cozy ambiance. Skating under the night sky adds an extra touch of enchantment to the experience.In addition to its convenient schedule, the Redding Community Center offers a range of amenities to enhance the skating experience. Visitors can take advantage of the on-site skate rentals, ensuring that everyone has access to the necessary equipment. The center also provides a warming hut where skaters can take a break and warm up before heading back onto the ice.The Redding Community Center isn't just a place for skating; it's a hub of family-friendly activities. Alongside the ice rink, there are often other winter activities available, such as sledding or snowball fights. Families can make a whole day out of their visit, enjoying the various winter activities and creating cherished memories.Whether you're a seasoned skater or just starting out, the Redding Community Center is the perfect place to lace up your skates and enjoy some quality time on the ice. Its convenient schedule, amenities, and family-friendly atmosphere make it a must-visit destination for winter fun. So gather your loved ones, embrace the freedom of the ice, and make unforgettable memories at the Redding Community Center.Gould Manor Park in FairfieldNestled within the picturesque town of Fairfield, Gould Manor Park offers a delightful outdoor ice skating experience for families and skating enthusiasts alike. As you step onto the glistening ice, you can't help but feel a sense of freedom and excitement.Here are three things to know about Gould Manor Park in Fairfield:Best times to visit for a less crowded experience: If you prefer a quieter skating session, it's best to visit Gould Manor Park in the early morning or on weekdays. The park tends to be less crowded during these times, allowing you to glide across the ice with ease and enjoy the peaceful surroundings. Embrace the freedom of having the rink to yourself or with just a few fellow skaters.Tips for beginners to enjoy ice skating at the park: If you're new to ice skating, Gould Manor Park is the perfect place to learn and improve your skills. Remember to dress warmly and wear comfortable, supportive shoes. It's also a good idea to bring a helmet for added safety. Take your time and start by practicing your balance and basic strides along the edges of the rink. Don't be afraid to ask for help or take a lesson if you're feeling unsure. With a little practice and determination, you'll soon be gliding confidently across the ice.Embrace the freedom of the open space: Gould Manor Park offers a spacious outdoor rink that allows you to fully embrace the freedom and joy of ice skating. Take in the crisp winter air as you skate under the clear blue sky. Feel the wind on your face as you glide effortlessly across the ice. Whether you're twirling, spinning, or simply taking leisurely laps around the rink, Gould Manor Park provides the perfect backdrop for an unforgettable ice skating experience.Owen Fish Park in FairfieldHave you ever wondered where to find a charming outdoor ice skating rink in Fairfield, Connecticut? Look no further than Owen Fish Park, a hidden gem nestled within the town. This picturesque park offers a tree-lined pond that is perfect for ice skating activities and immersing yourself in the beautiful winter scenery.At Owen Fish Park, you can lace up your skates and glide across the smooth ice, surrounded by towering trees and a peaceful atmosphere. The park provides a serene setting for families and friends to enjoy the timeless activity of ice skating. Whether you're a beginner or an experienced skater, Owen Fish Park offers a welcoming space for everyone to embrace the joy of gliding on ice.To give you a better idea of what to expect at Owen Fish Park, here's a table that highlights some key features:Owen Fish Park in FairfieldLocationFairfield, ConnecticutSkating ActivitiesIce Skating, Ice Hockey, Skating PracticeWinter SceneryTree-lined Pond, Serene AtmosphereAmenitiesBenches, Restrooms, ParkingOpening HoursDawn to DuskAs you can see, Owen Fish Park provides more than just a place to skate. It offers a tranquil escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life, allowing you to reconnect with nature and enjoy the simple pleasures of winter. So grab your skates, bundle up in warm attire, and head over to Owen Fish Park for a memorable ice skating experience.Remember to always check the park's opening hours and any safety guidelines before your visit. Enjoy the freedom of gliding on ice and creating lasting memories in the enchanting winter wonderland of Owen Fish Park.Osbornedale State Park in DerbyLooking for a stunning outdoor ice skating destination in Derby, Connecticut? Look no further than Osbornedale State Park, where you can experience the thrill of gliding across the ice in a picturesque setting.Here are three reasons why Osbornedale State Park is the perfect place for your next ice skating adventure:Safety First: When enjoying outdoor ice skating, it's important to prioritize safety. Remember to wear proper attire, including warm clothing, gloves, and a helmet. Check the ice thickness before stepping onto it, and always skate in designated areas to avoid any potential hazards. By following these outdoor ice skating safety tips, you can ensure a fun and worry-free experience at Osbornedale State Park.Best Times to Visit: To make the most of your visit to Osbornedale State Park, it's helpful to know the best times to go. The park is open from sunrise to sunset, but for optimal ice skating conditions, it's recommended to go during colder months when the ice is more likely to be frozen solid. Additionally, weekdays tend to be less crowded, providing more freedom and space to enjoy the ice.An Enchanting Winter Wonderland: Osbornedale State Park offers a magical winter backdrop for your ice skating escapades. The park's designated ice skating area is surrounded by beautiful natural scenery, including towering trees and snow-covered landscapes. As you glide across the ice, you'll feel a sense of freedom and exhilaration, surrounded by the beauty of nature.Wrights Pond in OrangeWrights Pond in Orange offers a delightful winter experience, with its serene setting and abundant wildlife. As you glide across the ice, you'll be surrounded by the beauty of nature, with snow-covered trees and the sounds of birds chirping in the distance. This hidden gem is the perfect place to escape the hustle and bustle of daily life and immerse yourself in the tranquility of winter.One of the highlights of Wrights Pond is the opportunity to observe winter wildlife in their natural habitat. As you skate, keep an eye out for graceful swans gliding across the frozen surface and playful squirrels darting through the snow. The pond is teeming with life, providing a unique and enchanting experience for visitors of all ages.To ensure your safety, the city Parks and Recreation Department closely monitors the ice conditions at Wrights Pond. They regularly check the thickness of the ice and provide updates to the public. It's important to always follow their guidance and heed any warnings or restrictions they may have in place. By doing so, you can enjoy a worry-free skating experience and focus on the joy of being outdoors.To further emphasize the importance of ice safety, here's a table highlighting some key tips:Ice Safety TipsCheck ice thicknessAvoid skating aloneWear appropriate gearStay away from cracksObserve posted warningsTrust your instinctsThe Bushnell in HartfordNestled in the heart of Hartford, The Bushnell provides a winter wonderland for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages. The Bushnell, known for its stunning architecture and rich history, transforms into a magical ice skating rink during the winter months.Here are three reasons why The Bushnell is a must-visit destination for winter fun:Winterfest activities: The Bushnell hosts a variety of Winterfest activities that are sure to delight visitors. From ice sculpting demonstrations to live music performances, there's always something exciting happening at The Bushnell. Families can enjoy the festive atmosphere while gliding across the ice and creating lasting memories.Free skating lessons: For those who are new to ice skating or want to improve their skills, The Bushnell offers free skating lessons. Experienced instructors are available to teach beginners the basics of skating or help more advanced skaters refine their techniques. Whether you're a novice or an expert, The Bushnell has something to offer everyone.The perfect setting: The Bushnell's picturesque location, surrounded by the beauty of downtown Hartford, provides a stunning backdrop for a day of ice skating. Skaters can enjoy panoramic views of the city skyline as they glide across the ice. The Bushnell's outdoor rink is the perfect place to embrace the freedom of winter and experience the joy of skating.Simsbury Farms in SimsburyAfter experiencing the enchanting winter wonderland at The Bushnell, it's time to explore another captivating outdoor ice skating destination in Connecticut - Simsbury Farms in Simsbury.Simsbury Farms is a hidden gem nestled in the charming town of Simsbury, offering a range of exciting winter activities for the whole family to enjoy.One of the highlights of Simsbury Farms is its covered ice skating rink, which provides a sheltered and cozy environment for skaters of all ages and skill levels. Whether you're a seasoned pro or just starting out, the rink at Simsbury Farms has something for everyone. And if you're new to ice skating, don't worry - they offer skating lessons taught by experienced instructors who'll guide you every step of the way.Aside from ice skating, Simsbury Farms also offers other winter activities to keep the whole family entertained. You can take a leisurely stroll on the nearby walking trails, surrounded by picturesque winter scenery. Or, if you're feeling adventurous, you can try your hand at cross-country skiing on the groomed trails. And for those who prefer a more relaxed pace, there are designated areas for sledding and snowshoeing.Winter at Simsbury Farms is truly a magical experience. The crisp air, the sound of blades gliding on ice, and the laughter of families enjoying the outdoors create an atmosphere of freedom and joy. So, gather your loved ones and head over to Simsbury Farms for a day of winter fun. Whether you're a seasoned skater or just starting out, Simsbury Farms has something for everyone.Winding Trails in FarmingtonWinding Trails in Farmington offers a charming and picturesque outdoor ice skating experience for visitors of all ages. As you glide across the smooth ice, surrounded by snow-covered landscapes, you'll feel a sense of freedom and joy.Here are three reasons why Winding Trails is a must-visit destination for winter activities:Tranquil Setting: Winding Trails is nestled in the heart of Farmington, surrounded by snow-encrusted pines and breathtaking natural beauty. The peaceful atmosphere creates the perfect backdrop for a serene ice skating experience. As you skate hand-in-hand with loved ones or gracefully twirl on your own, you'll feel a sense of tranquility and escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.Family-Friendly Environment: Winding Trails welcomes visitors of all ages, making it an ideal destination for a fun-filled family outing. Whether you're a seasoned skater or a beginner, there's something for everyone to enjoy. Parents can watch their little ones take their first wobbly steps on the ice, while older siblings can challenge each other to friendly races. The laughter and smiles of families enjoying the winter wonderland will warm your heart.Old-Fashioned Charm: Winding Trails offers an authentic and nostalgic ice skating experience. The rink is reminiscent of a bygone era, where outdoor skating was a cherished winter pastime. As you glide across the ice, the crisp winter air filling your lungs, you'll feel connected to a simpler time. The sound of skates gliding and laughter echoing off the surrounding trees creates a magical ambiance that will transport you to a world of pure joy and freedom.Make sure to carve out some time this winter to visit Winding Trails in Farmington. With its tranquil setting, family-friendly environment, and old-fashioned charm, it's the perfect place to create lasting memories and embrace the beauty of the winter season.Eastbury Pond in GlastonburyWith its expansive frozen surface and thrilling skating adventure, Eastbury Pond in Glastonbury is a winter wonderland for ice skating enthusiasts of all ages. As you glide across the glistening ice, you can feel a sense of freedom and exhilaration, surrounded by the beauty of nature.To give you a glimpse of what awaits you at Eastbury Pond, let me paint a picture with words. Imagine stepping onto the ice, your blades cutting through the smooth surface with ease. The crisp winter air fills your lungs as you pick up speed, the wind rushing past your face. The pond stretches out before you, inviting you to explore its frozen expanse. And as you twirl and spin, you can't help but feel a sense of joy and liberation.But while Eastbury Pond offers thrilling winter adventures, it's important to prioritize ice safety precautions. Before heading out onto the ice, make sure to check its thickness. A minimum of four inches is generally considered safe for skating. It's also essential to wear appropriate gear, including a helmet, knee pads, and warm clothing. And remember, never skate alone. Bring a friend or family member along for added safety and enjoyment.Now, let's take a look at a table that showcases the key features of Eastbury Pond:FeatureDescriptionExpansive SurfaceThe pond offers a large area for skating, allowing for freedom of movement.Natural BeautySurrounded by picturesque landscapes, Eastbury Pond provides a visually stunning backdrop.Family-FriendlyThe pond is suitable for ice skaters of all ages and welcomes families for a fun-filled experience.With its thrilling skating adventure and emphasis on safety, Eastbury Pond in Glastonbury is the perfect destination for a winter escapade. So grab your skates, bundle up, and get ready to embark on a memorable ice skating journey.Frequently Asked QuestionsAre There Any Age Restrictions for Ice Skating at the Stamford Ice Skating Center?There are no age restrictions for ice skating at the Stamford Ice Skating Center. It's a great place for the whole family to enjoy some winter fun on the ice.The center follows strict ice skating rules and safety measures to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience for everyone.As for the best time to visit the outdoor ice skating rinks in Connecticut, it's typically during the colder months when the ice is at its best.Is There a Fee for Ice Skating at the Westport PAL Rink?Yes, there's a fee for ice skating at the Westport PAL rink. The rink offers open skate time near Long Island Sound and is mostly dedicated to recreational skating.As for the age restrictions at the Stamford Ice Skating Center, there are no specific restrictions mentioned.Visitors are allowed to bring their own ice skates to Gorhams Pond in Darien, and skate rental services are available at the Redding Community Center.It's worth noting that there's no information about a limit on the number of people allowed on the ice at Gould Manor Park in Fairfield.Can Visitors Bring Their Own Ice Skates to Gorhams Pond in Darien?Yes, visitors are allowed to bring their own ice skates to Gorhams Pond in Darien. It's a picturesque winter destination that invites families for a delightful ice skating experience.However, it's important to remember to take safety precautions while enjoying the ice. At the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford, safety measures are in place to ensure a secure skating environment.Are There Any Skate Rental Services Available at the Redding Community Center?Yes, there are skate rental services available at the Redding Community Center. They understand the importance of providing convenience to visitors and offer skate rentals for those who don't have their own skates.Additionally, many other outdoor ice skating rinks across Connecticut also offer skate rentals. It's a great option for families who want to enjoy the winter fun without the hassle of bringing their own equipment.Is There a Limit on the Number of People Allowed on the Ice at Gould Manor Park in Fairfield?There is no limit on the number of people allowed on the ice at Gould Manor Park in Fairfield. It's a charming spot with a Currier & Ives scene of children skating.As for the Stamford Ice Skating Center, there are no age restrictions for ice skating. It spans over 9,000 feet of ice and is open most days through February.Both locations offer a wonderful opportunity for families to enjoy outdoor ice skating in Connecticut.ConclusionSo lace up your skates and let the ice be your canvas as you glide across the frozen landscapes of Connecticut.Whether you choose the Steven & Alexandra Cohen Ice Skating Center in Stamford or the Westport PAL Rink near Long Island Sound, there's no shortage of outdoor ice skating rinks for winter family fun.So grab your loved ones and embark on a winter adventure that will leave you with memories as sparkling as the ice itself.
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2024.05.19 13:26 Orange_Menace1 Randyll Tarly - Blackfyre Supporter (my first theory)

Randyll Tarly - Blackfyre Supporter (my first theory)
Note: I started writing this and it got away from me. Rather than fill in the unfinished points, I've just left them there for everyone to consider

Preface

Randyll Tarly on a first read through is a jerk. He tortures Sam, insults Brienne, implements draconian justice and downplays the golden company threat. Prima-Facie, he is a violent commander with little political cunning.
Except for his results. By the end of ADWD
· He receives accolades for every battle fought (I hold fire on the term won)
· He holds the queen in his custody.
· He has a voice at council
· He secured his chosen heir in defiance of westrosi customs
If we assume these things didn’t happen by chance, we can re-examine some of his older achievements, actions, and then try to sort out his motives.

Randyll Tarly as a Commander

Roberts Rebellion

Battle of Ashford

Context: The battle of Ashford was Roberts one defeat in his rebellion. Tarly’s van sailed forward and defeated Roberts host, but the battle was inconclusive. Robert retreated to the stony sept, recovered, regrouped, and when his allies arrived and consolidated forces, used this new army to win the war.

Relevant Sections – directly on point paragraphs:

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III

Tyrion had to bite his tongue at that. Robb Stark had won more battles in a year than the Lord of Highgarden had in twenty. ~Tyrell's reputation rested on one indecisive victory over Robert Baratheon at Ashford, in a battle largely won by Lord Tarly's van before the main host had even arrived.~

A Storm of Swords - Davos V

"Edric, you ought not boast," Maester Pylos said. "King Robert suffered defeats like any other man. Lord Tyrell bested him at Ashford, and he lost many a tourney tilt as well."

A Storm of Swords - Samwell V

"Your father is an able soldier," King Stannis said. "He defeated my brother once, at Ashford. Mace Tyrell has been pleased to claim the honors for that victory, but Lord Randyll had decided matters before Tyrell ever found the battlefield. He slew Lord Cafferen with that great Valyrian sword of his and sent his head to Aerys." The king rubbed his jaw with a finger. "You are not the sort of son I would expect such a man to have."

A Dance with Dragons - The Griffin Reborn

~He had lost it all at Stoney Sept, in his arrogance.~
~Robert Baratheon had been hiding somewhere in the town, wounded and alone. Jon Connington had known that, and he had also known that Robert's head upon a spear would have put an end to the rebellion, then and there~. He was young and full of pride. How not? King Aerys had named him Hand and given him an army, and he meant to prove himself worthy of that trust, of Rhaegar's love. He would slay the rebel lord himself and carve a place out for himself in all the histories of the Seven Kingdoms.

Other information gleaned from context

· Tarly did not inflict substantial casualties
· Robert won the battle of the trident within a year – Ashford is 282AC and the trident is 283
· Robert fled to and was sheltered in the stony sept, where Jon Connington failed to flush him out. The battle of the bells occurred in 283AC, as did the battle of the trident shortly after

Analysis

Randyll leads the van some distance ahead of the main force, gets into a battle with the rebels, and inflicts minor to moderate casualties before they escape. Tyrell takes the credit.
From a military point of view, if the battle had not been decided before the main force arrived, the war would have likely ended. A much larger force (with assumedly many more horsemen) would have won the battle both more conclusively, and been able to pursue. By all rights, the strategy enforced by Mace Tyrell should have won the war (this theme will come in later in this theory), but for the fact only a fraction of his army engaged far ahead of the main host.
As an aside and jumping ahead a little – Tarly avoids doing this after the blackwater, closing off escape routes and slaughtering everyone. This hints at the fact that Ashford was a tactical mistake.
The first three viewpoints we receive on the battle are of note.
· Tyrion points out the battle was indecisive, and ~decided before the main host arrived~. He focuses on the victory in ‘battle’ as opposed to war.
· Stannis points out how able Randyll is by defeating his brother once at Ashford. Although unable to ascribe any special military strategy to Randyll, he calls him ‘able’ and decided matters before Tyrell arrived. He also flags that Mace Tyrell claimed the honours for the victory and he thinks this undeserved. It’s interesting as it’s Maces host at Ashford, a host that by all rights should have crushed Roberts army in a single battle – given the van alone defeated him. He also ascribes the only kill of note as lord Cafferen
· Maester Pylos points out that Robert lost battles at Ashford and flags it was Tyrell who bested him.
The battle by all appearances, was a farce. Ashford could have ended the war. Arguably, even with the van alone deciding the fight, it very nearly did. Instead, the battle is determined indecisive, there is no ‘impressive kill and capture list’ indicating the host was not captured or killed (as opposed to routed), and Mace has this massive potentially war-ending host not doing much because Robert is in retreat before it arrives.
Furthermore despite all this, Tarly very nearly won the day at Ashford. Robert suffered a serious – but nonfatal wound that seemingly took months (and at least weeks) to recover. The fact that a seriously wounded Robert was able to escape despite distinctive armour and weaponry raises questions of its own.
Finally, when Robert was wounded and hidden in the aftermath whilst he recovered, narratively it allowed JonCon to lay siege to the stony sept. As a parallel, one of the themes I will later touch on is how Tarly changes after this battle, and we know JonCon swears to kill more and become Tywin 2.0. as a direct result of the events at the sept. We see a similar change in Tarly.
It’s also of note that Tarly and Tyrell at this point were on the Targaryen side. This crops up later when we look into other motivations and goals.
Aftermath
So we know that Robert suffers wounds and is somewhat detached from his host (be it they left him in the stoney sept or he scattered off from the main host). We know this as he ends up wounded in the Stoney Sept. After this, the battle of the bells and all the great victories that ended the war occur.
Notably, Tarly has no major military achievements after this battle. Since Mace Tyrell was invested in the siege of Storms end, it can be presumed Tarly was positioned with the main force. The next time we see him is in the battle of 5 kings –

Discussion with Renly – The Siege of Stannis

  • Renly outright ignores Tarly when he says they'll be charging into the sun. In renlys conversation with stannis he points out how overwhelmingly strong his force is and how it will be heavy horse charging into boiled leather. He's not wrong, if the armies clash, stannis will be crushed and waiting is potentially disastrous, as stannis may not engage or slow the whole process down.

Battle of the Blackwater

A Clash of Kings - Sansa VII

They came up the roseroad and along the riverbank, through all the fields Stannis had burned, the ashes puffing up around their boots and turning all their armor grey, but oh! the banners must have been bright, the golden rose and golden lion and all the others, the Marbrand tree and the Rowan~, Tarly's huntsman~ and Redwyne's grapes and Lady Oakheart's leaf. All the westermen, all the power of Highgarden and Casterly Rock! ~Lord Tywin himself had their right wing~ on the north side of the river, with Randyll Tarly commanding the center and ~Mace Tyrell the left,~ but the vanguard won the fight. They plunged through Stannis like a lance through a pumpkin, every man of them howling like some demon in steel. And do you know who led the vanguard? Do you? Do you? Do you?"

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn II

"I told you to hold Riverrun," said Robb. "What part of that command did you fail to comprehend?"
"When you stopped Lord Tywin on the Red Fork," said the Blackfish, "you delayed him just long enough for riders out of Bitterbridge to reach him with word of what was happening to the east. ~Lord Tywin turned his host at once, joined up with Matthis Rowan and Randyll Tarly~ near the headwaters of the Blackwater, and made a forced march to Tumbler's Falls, ~where he found Mace Tyrell and two of his sons waiting with a huge host and a fleet of barges~. They floated down the river, disembarked half a day's ride from the city, and took Stannis in the rear."

We know tywin likes to put his strength on his flanks and in the reserve

Interestingly, Mace is there too, and it’s a tyrell van this time, not tarly
Lord Tywin himself had their right wing on the north side of the river, with Randyll Tarly commanding the center and Mace Tyrell the left, but the vanguard won the fight. They plunged through Stannis like a lance through a pumpkin, every man of them howling like some demon in steel.
ACOK 62: SANSA VII

Analysis

First the parallels. Mace Tyrell is paralleled to Tywin on the two flanks. It is a tyrell in the van who decides the day. Randyll commands the center.
Logistically, the battle is won by Mace Tyrell (whom I love as a character) with a fleet of barges and a huge host already in position (allowing the army to cross quickly enough to intercept the battle of the blackwater). Also the messenger that draws in Tywin’s host comes from Bitterbridge – Tyrell Lands. Given the van wins the battle, there’s a fair argument that Mace could have won the battle alone, albeit with all the support he wins a crushing victory instead.
So Randyll is relegated to an important, but ultimately ancillary position. Whether the battle is won by Tywin or Mace (and by all logistical accounts, it’s Mace), is another question, but the ‘finest soldier in the seven kingdoms’ is once again, somewhat ineffectual. He still commands the center in such a battle, but he displays no logistical or battle prowess in this fight either, just being a renowned commander in the right place at the right time.

Battle of Duskendale

· Lord Randyll defeats a northern army. The army is mostly foot and misplaced
· This time, few excape – XXXX cuts off the retreat.
· Some theories say he was tipped off by Roose Bolton.
· This time he gets the commander
· Figth occurs in FIELDS AND FARMS. Bad terrain for a retreat. Glover TRAPPED against blackwater bay
· Note that Glover had to be captured lest bolton treachery be revealed. Cannot be allowed to send raven.
· Strong implication of a trap and tipoff

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV

When they brought him word of the battle at Duskendale, where Lord Randyll Tarly had shattered Robett Glover and Ser Helman Tallhart, he might have been expected to rage.

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII

But who would be mad enough to contest Joffrey's rule now, after what had befallen Stannis Baratheon and Robb Stark? There was still fighting in the riverlands, but everywhere the coils were tightening. Ser Gregor Clegane had crossed the Trident and seized the ruby ford, then captured Harrenhal almost effortlessly. Seagard had yielded to Black Walder Frey, ~Lord Randyll Tarly held Maidenpool, Duskendale, and the kingsroad.~

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion III

"No," their father said. "With the war. Varys."
The eunuch smiled a silken smile. "I have such delicious tidings for you all, my lords. Yesterday at dawn our ~brave Lord Randyll caught Robett Glover outside Duskendale and trapped him against the sea. Losses were heavy on both sides, but in the end our loyal men prevailed. Ser Helman Tallhart is reported dead, with a thousand others. Robett Glover leads the survivors back toward Harrenhal in bloody disarray, little dreaming he will find valiant Ser Gregor and his stalwarts athwart his path."~

A Storm of Swords - Tyrion I

"Until Lord Redwyne brings his fleet up, we lack the ships to assail Dragonstone. It makes no matter. Stannis Baratheon's sun set on the Blackwater. ~As for Stark, the boy is still in the west, but a large force of northmen under Helman Tallhart and Robett Glover are descending toward Duskendale. I've sent Lord Tarly to meet them, while Ser Gregor drives up the kingsroad to cut off their retreat.~ Tallhart and Glover will be caught between them, with a third of Stark's strength."

A Storm of Swords - Catelyn IV

When they brought him word of the battle at Duskendale, where ~Lord Randyll Tarly had shattered Robett Glover and Ser Helman Tallhart,~ he might have been expected to rage. Instead he'd stared in dumb disbelief and said, "Duskendale, on the narrow sea? Why would they go to Duskendale?" He'd shook his head, bewildered. "A third of my foot, lost for Duskendale?"
"The ironmen have my castle and now the Lannisters hold my brother," Galbart Glover said, in a voice thick with despair. Robett Glover had survived the battle, but had been captured near the kingsroad not long after.

A Feast for Crows - Brienne II

Lord Randyll Tarly had commanded Joffrey's army, made up of westermen and stormlanders and knights from the Reach. Those men of his who had died here had been carried back inside the walls, to rest in heroes' tombs beneath the septs of Duskendale. The northern dead, far more numerous, were buried in a common grave beside the sea. Above the cairn that marked their resting place, the victors had raised a rough-hewn wooden marker. HERE LIE THE WOLVES was all it said. Brienne stopped beside it and said a silent prayer for them, and for Catelyn Stark and her son Robb and all the men who'd died with them as well.



Analysis

Firstly we start with the obvious comparison. Tarly lets Robert escape when Mace otherwise very nearly won the war. Given another chance, Randyll pins his enemy against the sea and plans to not let a man escape. Having somewhat surrounded the opponent on known land, with reinforcements (Clegane) behind him, he still manages to suffer heavy casualties, and the target (XXXX) escapes.
What a colossal mistake. The only good news is he intercepted enough of the force that it seems no ravens got sent off showing exactly what happened, as if one message got back, the whole red wedding could have been undone.
Now prior posts have analyzed duskendale about allowing paths of retreat, and number of losses, but I think there are three key takeaways
1) The stark contrast between this and his tactics at Ashford
2) The fact that he failed to capture the host and Gregor Clegane had to clean up the mess
3) The fact he suffered heavy losses when by all rights he had every advantage (and still failed to capture the army)
Interestingly, the message that gets to Robb is that Tarly shattered glover. The actual message from Varys is only 1000 were killed, with Tallhart. Now its difficult to say how many foot there were, but it’s not unreasonable to assume that 1000 is less than to around half the force. Clegane captures Glover in the aftermath (thankfully), and Robb gets the report that Tarly shattered the force, when in actuality a good chunk of it was Clegane.
As a sidenote- this is indicative that Clegane actually isn’t a bad commander, and in turn this makes the fact that Edmure Tully threw him back more impressive.
We also don’t hear of any captives other than the ones taken by Clegane. It appears Tarly is putting men to the sword (SEE EARLIER).
Now before we get into conspiracy theories, we see Glover in ADWD conspiring with Madderly to help the starks and Stannis, so it seems this was not some cunning scheme where he secretly got himself captured.
Interestingly, the graves Brienne sees seem to indicate a crushing victory for Tarly, like the one described by Robb. This however is at odds with the report of Varys, and the fact Clegane had to mop up the leftover army. Now there are a few possibilities for this. Varys could be wrong/lying, heavy losses is being thrown around as a relative term (but that seems suspect), or the total of Tarly dead and Clegane’s role is being hidden. The last seems the most likely, Robb hears of a crushing defeat led by Tarly not Clegane (which we know is at least partially false), the dead he kills don’t add up, and there’s no mention of Clegane whom definitely did some of the work.
Also even assuming the whole situation is true and Tarly killed men at a 2/1 ratio, this assumes there are 500 heroes tombs under the septs at Duskendale. Simply put, there may not be that many. The whole aftermath stinks of a coverup. Tarly is getting Cleganes credit (and interestingly, it’s around now that Tywin decides not to give Clegane to oberyn).
Finally we get to the tinfoily bit. Helman garrisoned with Walder Frey to make sure he kept peace. Of the two lords, Helman is arguably more problematic, he knows more of Frey habits (when Tywin is scheming a betrayal) and his nephew is a possible hornwood claimant (cough Roose cough). If there was a conspiracy to kill one and ransom the other – I can see a world where Talhart is the one to be killed. In all reality though, this is a bit too ambitious, and in reality one just died and one escaped – without some super scheme that Tarly was involved in.
So in summary – once again Tarly fails his mission. At best, he bloodies an out of position army whilst taking heavy casualties, with his reinforcements on the way, and half the army breaks free (admittedly into Clegane). This is not a great display of prowess. We also know its possible to capture these men as hostages, as Clegane successfully does so – and Tarly fails to once again. Now it’s not catastrophic as the Northerners are bleeding men and trading troops tit for tat is beneficial, but the battle itself (the thing Randyll is in charge of) is highly unimpressive. The strategic victory goes to Tywin, whom in truth entrusts it as much to Gregor Clegane as to Tarly. As it so happens, Clegane delivers and Tarly doesn’t.


A summary as a commander

Talk about failing upwards
· Charging ahead, he is able to turn a crushing win into an indecisive one which ultimately leads to Roberts Rebellion succeeding
· He gives counsel to Renly about the sun when renly knows that the sheer strength of his cavalry makes the issue moot. Renly all but ignores him.
· He doesn’t appear to do much during the battle of the blackwater
· He manages to mess up essentially an ambush at Duskendale despite reinforcements being on the way
· As a result of the 4 above points, he is given, lands, titles, honors and a position on the small council.
Upon actually reviewing his achievements and each individual battle, I’ve 180’d on Tarly. George RR Martin does a great job building him up, and having everyone describe him as a great commander, but actually unpacking his battles, he looks pretty underwhelming. The most important battle he won was Ashford, but that was a strategic catastrophe which otherwise could have potentially let Mace Tyrell win the war. Afterwards he’s carefully managed, with Renly outright dismissing him, Mace keeping the key positions of command in other people’s hands and Tywin going so far as to dispatch a trusted force behind him in the event he fails again – WHICH HE DOES.


Politicks, Loyalties and Conspiracies

There’s a lot to get through so I’m not going to source everything here. Rather, I’ll list dot points, and we will be collecting everything under theories. In time it may be worth sourcing this all, but for now, I want to get something out – so it’ll be shortform
· Historically house is blackfyre
· Renly Sworn NOT STANNIS
· Joined at bitterbridge to Renly
· Shadowbaby and killing others
· VIEWS ON MAESTERS
· Killing Stannis supporters at bitterbridge
· Saving Brienne
· Helping Brienne / Bewilderment
· Views on Women and Strongmen
· Sam, Maesters, the Marches and Strength
· Maidenpool Rulership
· Renown amonst common men
· Downplaying the Golden Company
· Bravosi Debts
· Taking the QUEEN ahead of Mace Tyrell

Theoreis Stemming off Data

The Blackfyre Theory

Let’s assume that Randyll supported the Blackfyres because his house traditionally were Blackfyre Loyalists. This is a little thin on evidence, but quite a few of his actions also support this, lending some credence to the theory
1) He swore to Renly not Stannis.
a. Stannis was 17 or 18 when he held storms end. He is approximately 13 years older than Renly, making Renly 5 at the time. This means that during Roberts Rebellion, for all relevant purposes, Renly was a non-participant, whilst Stannis actively fought against the dragons. If Randyll is a dragon supporter, his repulsion at joining Stannis is apparent.
b. In fact, he goes as far as to kill stannis supporters at bitterbridge to consolidate the reach forces. This is interesting as it contrasts stannis whom takes pains to not kill the karstarks to a man once he realizes their treason.
2) He downplays the golden company
a. At the end of AFWC, Randyll is downplaying the golden company as much as he can. If we assume he is pro-dragon, this gives time for the blackfyre cause to swell, as he delays Kevan Lannister to the best of his ability
3) He hates the Maesters
a. Between the Grand Maester Conspiracy [LINK], lady Dustin’s general hatred of Maesters and Marwyn’s comments about Maesters and Dragons, it seems credible that dragon supporters may have cause to mistrust Maesters. Indeed, we get hints of this from Doran, and a general mistrust of Maesters by some of the lesser lords.
i. "I would need a bucket, with this pain. Thank you, but no. I want my wits about me. I'll have no more need of you tonight."
b. This explains also why he is so determined Sam will not become a Maester and why he drives him to the nights watch. If he is a loyalist, he’s never going to let a member of his family into an enemy order. If Sam is given any sort of free reign in a role other than lord, he’s going to end up a Maester (indeed even at the nights watch he ends up there, despite his protests and fears of his fathers wroth).
4) Do we actually see any trouble in the marches. I don’t think we do and it’s only STANNIS who fears dorne through the marches, not Tarly or Tyrell. In fact, this area is left undefended when they march on the blackwater.
a. I have a sub-theory that despite complaining a lot, we don’t see any real antagonism between Dorne and the reach throughout the series, just some loud complaining that makes us think of antagonism. Oberyn hints at this to Tyrion.
5) Killing Florents
a. Florents have ties to Stannis
b. Florents are Tyrell rivals
c. Florents instantly defect to stannis. Note they were set aside by dragons over highgarden
d. Their protests were denied by King Aegon I, perhaps because the Florents had fought House Targaryen when the Tyrells did not.
e. https://www.reddit.com/asoiaf/comments/3tr6gx/spoilers_all_house_of_the_week_house_florent/
i. Theories florents Green
6) This is of course also consistent with him racing Ahead of Mace Tyrell’s army and having the Tyrell queen taken into his personal custody. Unfortunately, this bodes badly for our lovely doe-eyed Margery. Oh well.
7) ~If it were up to me, I would send them all to the Night's Watch, and Connington with them. The Wall is where such scum belong."~ He’s setting it up so the only legitimate claimant of JonCon’s lands is in fact, JonCon. Obviously a new lord can be appointed, but this suggested move adds legitimacy to the blackfyre cause, removing the heir apparent and putting JonCon back in his ancestral lands without a real challenger.

1) The ‘show of strength / toxic masculinity theory’
a. This theory has to do with Tarly appearing competent millirarily rather than being competent. He doles harsh justice and havy discipline, which in some ways hides his lackluster results as a commander. I should note this is the weakest of the three theories, but it sort of feeds into the other two.
b. This would be indicative of his hatred for Sam. The moment the ‘veil’ of masculinity and strength is lifted, his actual achievements are lackluster
c. After ashford he appears much more brutal than before. We have no indication he was brutal pre Ashford, and post ashford he’s executing enemies, cornering and murdering northmen to a man (as best he can at least) and doling out harsher justice than his peers
d. Every character who speaks of Tarly speaks of his millirary accolades. I think his ‘larger than life’ persona has played at least a part in this, and Tarly looks the part as the veteran commander.
e. I ought to note this theory doesn’t stop Tarly from playing the game of thrones, it just suggests he isn’t an exceptional tactical commander. Logistically, he has always been with the winning side as a vassal, he’s been able to spin every battle to gain honors and accolades, and he has a knack for being in the right place at the right time (declaring for renly early, being in the van at ashford etc.)
f. All that aside, this theory also doesn’t stop Tarly from being a jerk. Given how he acts to Sam and both towards and around Brienne, we are naturally inclined to mislike him as a harsh leader.
2) Not as dumb as he looks theory
a. He’s taken the queen into his personal Custody. We literally heard from Renly back in book 1 – he who holds the XXXX holds the crown. With all the chaos in the recent books, it’s easy to miss, but this is a huge move in the game of thrones. The Tyrells do not have the queen. Tarly does.
b. As far as I can tell, he’s never been at real risk in a battle since Ashford. He had backup and numbers at duskendale, a massive host at the blackwater, The Siege of Storms End was just a great big preservation of army by Mace whilst Roberts rebellion raged, and the Siege on Stannis was totally lopsided but for magic shadow-baby.
c. Dorne does not seem to have acted against him once nor demanded concessions. [CHECK]. For a lord in the Dornish Marches which have been tumultuous for years, this is somewhat of a big deal. He also seems to be unafraid of moving his forced forward – we have no indication he left levies to protect himself from Dorne, hinting that he wasn’t afraid of Dorne misbehaving (even if only to harry border towns, a bit like Bolton grabbing up the hornwood lands).
d. He sucks up to the bravosi Banker when all the debts are being called in. We have this picture of this strong, just, military man, but the banker scene shows he’s not just a sword arm, and he knows when to suck up. This is important as it shows he is at least considering the wider world and the future outside of the battles, as opposed to a certain dwarf whom never actually meets the bankers.
e. He has turned a bunch of mediocre achievements into being renowned as the greatest soldier in the realm. By all rights, Stannis and Robb are much better commanders (with the caveat that Robb was only good tactically). If we want to get nasty, Mace Tyrell has only won crushing victories – with the exception of ashford (messed up by Tarly) and storms end (where he lost no troops in a rebellion that depleted most of the realm).
i. The most competent appearing thing he said was to not charge into the sun, which was largely irrelevant when plated heavy cavalry is charging into boiled leather. As Renly said to Stannis, his force wouldn’t survive first impact, so this whole sun business is a bit silly.
ii. Arguably the most competent thing was executing all the soldiers considering going over to Stannis, but I’m not sure if this is truly competent or just brutality – Stannis did not do the same with the Karstarks in a similar position.
f. He’s bypassed succession laws. By getting rid of Sam he has set himself up with his chosen heir. Look at the thorny knot Tywin tied himself with Tyrion, whom still arguably is the rightful heir to Castelry Rock (which he made full use of with the Second Suns). We know Maesters can be kicked out of the order (see our favourite necromancer), and can be used to play with succession (Aemon is a good example, albeit he said no) and I don’t really see Sam as a priest.
i. There’s actually a good question as to whether he would have killed Sam. The gods hate kinslayers, and the threat sufficed. If we assume tarly isn’t an idiot, he would have realized the threat likely sufficient.
g. Given how he sets himself up at Maidenpool, its hinted that the Maidenpool land is part of his reward for the blackwater. We never hear of exactly ‘what’ Tarly’s reward is, except in the aftermath he’s patrolling Duskendale (still seemingly with house Rykker),, Maidenpool and the kings road, and seems to be setting himself up in Maidenpool for the long haul. In AFFC, Tarly’s heir is married off to Eleanor Mooton (the seeming heiress to maidenpool) and Tommen pardons Moonton. Maidenpool is a major port in the world of Ice and Fire, which would make it a fine reward[[1]](#_ftn1).
1.

Other key takeaways

BRIENNE THING

A Feast for Crows - Brienne III

Randyll Tarly solved the mystery the day he sent two of his men-at-arms to summon her to his pavilion. His young son Dickon had overheard four knights laughing as they saddled up their horses, and had told his lord father what they said.

… "The gods made men to fight, and women to bear children," said Randyll Tarly. "A woman's war is in the birthing bed."
Someone was coming down the cellar steps. Brienne pushed her wine aside as a ragged, scrawny, sharp-faced man with dirty brown hair stepped into the Goose. He gave the Tyroshi sailors a quick look and Brienne a longer one, then went up to the plank. "Wine," he said, "and none o' your horse piss in it, thank'e."

JUSTICE THING


Battle of the Blackwater – a step Sideways



In short
Randyll Tarly is a shrewd Blackfyre loyalist who now has custody of the queen, a position on the small council and whom is not considered a political threat. He’s not half the commander he’s made out to be, probably has anti-maester sentiment and is possibly friendly with Doran Martell. And he has an army.
This has been quite a ride and I’m sure I got many details wrong so let’s end on a high note. Given all this, I expect Randyll to sacrifice Margery and prove ser pounce’s lineage to the age of conquest. Tommen will blindly stamp a document marrying himself to the cat, the white walkers will be appeased (their problem is only humans), and everyone lives happily ever after except for Danerys who dies.
Maidenpool
https://preview.redd.it/4gfx1jxsbd1d1.png?width=217&format=png&auto=webp&s=a6c648fe2853a80f249aeae5546a21b38b4123e9

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2024.05.19 13:24 DifficultSquash3459 My fiancé [26,M] ghosted me [25,F] and moved out without a goodbye

My fiancé had a habit of lying to me since day one and I discovered another lie on Thursday, three days ago. It caused an argument and so much frustration, depression, anger, and disappointment in me. He promised again and again that he was done lying and I would believe him, only to be stabbed again in the back when another lie came out a week or a few weeks later. He kept trying to say it was my fault that he would lie to me and that I was overreacting. No apology involved. He also told his mother about the argument even though we discussed in the past that it was not right to do because he only would tell a small portion of the story and of course, he makes himself look like the victim and I'm the one in the bad light. Plus she almost caused us to break up back when we were just dating because of him running to her after fights and she would give him terrible advice to leave me because of the one-sided stories she would hear. Last year when that happened, he would pretend to be all loving and happy with me but then run to his mom if we had the slightest of arguments. For example, if we set some boundaries for ourselves and he wasn't consistent with them, I would confront him. He would tell his mother a terrible version of it and she spun up that I was abusive. So they would talk behind my back like this over lies while he smiled in my face. That's when I knew he could put on such facades and lie so easily. I should have left then, I saw the signs, but I was a fool. There was a part of me that suspected this would happen one day, not the ghosting because never in my dreams would I have imagined him being this evil, but I had a feeling this might not work out. I mean I was always questioning my reality and him especially when he would lie and tell me I was imagining things while swearing on his life, my life, our future unborn children, his parent's life, and on Jesus that was telling the truth. Only later find out he was actually lying and I wasn't imagining it. I mean I gave him my trust again and again, which was so hard for me to do in the first place, and he just kept shattering it even knowing how much it hurt me. So I told him I needed some space for the evening and I said I don't know if I can keep doing this (I know I shouldn't have said it but we have both said similar things in the past during arguments and never meant it) and I asked him to get a hotel just for the night, which he did. The next day, I go into work and I receive one single text telling me I made one small thing into a huge deal. He would try to gaslight me at times and he was HUGE at twisting the role and playing the victim. I responded with the reasons why it was not okay for him to keep lying to me because it hurts me so much and why it wasn't just "one small thing," because behind that lie, so many other issues were there too. I didn't get a response. He usually would text me all day everyday and would be so loving and attentive so it was odd. So I went home that day expecting him to be there to talk about it. I arrive home and his truck isn't there. I walk inside and all of his stuff is moved out and gone. He put a photo of the two of us face down on the table and smashed our Bonsai that we called the Bonsai of Love because it was supposed to resemble our relationship. called and called and texted and texted yet no response. I was begging him to come home to talk. I apologized for getting upset the night prior and that I just want him back home with me. I just couldn't understand how he could do this. It was all delivering too so I wasn't blocked. It wasn't until 10pm when he blocked me after I texted asking why hasn't he blocked me if he's really done? That was me trying to find hope in the situation that maybe he would return and that's why he didn't block me. Well after that, I was blocked. His mother also removed me from the family group chat. It made me wonder if he was just sitting back and laughing at my pleads for a response and possibly even sharing my distraught and sad messages to others. I suspect his mother played a huge role again because again, she almost caused a break up last year because of getting involved and turning him against me with the knowledge he shared, just enough knowledge to make me the villain. It has been two days and I have been ghosted by my fiancé. He also did this the day of my best friend's wedding rehearsal (I'm her maid of honor) and her wedding was yesterday (which he ghosted them for as well). Imagine how hard it is giving a speech for your best friend and her lovely fiancé, now her husband, when you were just horribly ghosted from your own a day prior and are now single. His empty chair was taunting me the whole time too, it was so hard especially with the love songs but I had to pretend to be happy for them. He was such a coward that he never even gave me an explanation or an apology or a goodbye. He ghosted his ex in the past when leaving her yet he at least gave her a phone call. Our relationship was much, much more serious and significant than that was too (theirs seemed more like a high-school type relationship) yet I still received nothing. We lived together, were engaged, spent every second together when we weren't at work, we had so many vacations planned (a weekend away to Lake George next week and an Alaskan cruise next month), on each other's insurance plans & phone bills & renters insurance & even pet insurance, we had a retirement plan set up, we were so close, things were so good because we meshed so well together. Yes, we argued here and there but every couple does, especially those that spend so much time together but his lies were what caused the most distress especially because the negative impact carried on for so long. I have my own issues as does he but he always said we would work through them together and that I never have to worry about him leaving. I would always put him and his needs before me. I would wake up a lot earlier than I have to in order to make him breakfast and lunch for his work day before I started getting ready for work myself and I would just throw something together sloppy, real quick for me. I was so good to him. Again, I do have my flaws and we argued at times but most of the time things were so wonderful. And what really blows my mind is that just days prior to this, he was telling me he wanted our wedding to be in October, we were both planning to move to Colorado and have been getting interviewed for jobs, how excited he was, he would tell me daily again and again that he loved me so much unconditionally, was fully committed to me for the rest of my life, and that he would never leave me. Then he did this. After so much time together, after I brought him into my home, my life... he couldn't even give me the respect or decency to communicate to me. I thought God brought this man into my life, the one I thought I was waiting for. Now I can't help but feel angry at God. He would call me his best friend, soulmate, his entire future. He promised away his life to me like I did mine. I guess it never meant anything to him. How could you treat someone you claim to care for and love like this? It is hard because I know he loved me, I do think if he didn't have his mother in his ear, he wouldn't have done this. But either way, he did do it. He is awful and she is just as bad. I hope karma comes their way. He knows I have abandonment issues and trauma yet he did this without any remorse, it seems. I'll never know.
What kind of monster... I just can't wrap my head around it. No closure. My friends and family are just as shocked and tell me it will hurt for now because it really is mourning a loss but it is a blessing in disguise. That I wouldn't have been happy in a marriage full of lies and distrust. All I know is that I am hurting really bad still. I am hoping I feel better soon. I have never experienced this kind of treatment or hurt before.
tl;dr My fiancé moved out without my knowledge when I was away at work for the day and he has since ghosted and blocked me without any communication. This was two days ago. What do I do? I miss him and our relationship. But I don't think he's coming back. How do I cope?
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2024.05.19 13:24 Nimi345 My (26f) boyfriend (34m) won't propose - do I need to break up?

Hey! Sorry for any misspelling, English is not my first language.
I (26F) am in a relationship with my boyfriend (34M) for 2 years. We moved in together after maybe 1 month dating because we were 100% sure we found the one. This behavior is totally out of character for us, our last relationships were highly different. He is a kind, loving, romantic partner and really fun to be around. This is my first healthy relationship. Here is my problem:
After a year dating, my mum was asking me regularly if he had proposed. I wasn’t thinking about it before, but her constant asking me influenced thinking about it more often (my first mistake). Then my best friend got engaged, three of his best friends got engaged. I became jealous.
He knew that I want to be married before trying for kids. We talked about it on different occasions, and he also said he wanted to be married in the future. We planned to start trying for children in 2 years. Unfortunately I got diagnosed with endometriosis at my ovaries, having surgery next month and my doctor advised me to start sooner. No worries, I won't make kids just because my biological clock is ticking.
All this lead to me being really immature, starting arguments about how rejected I feel because he doesn't want to marry me. He then said it wasn’t important for him to get married, a proposal after 1 1/2 years is too soon for him, he is okay with it to marry after we had kids. He said he wants to be married someday, but he won’t propose with pressure. It's not a goal for him such as it is for me. But because he knows it's so important for me, he will marry me someday. I fully understand that the pressure I made didn't help, and I know I really messed up by starting arguments. And I need to highlight that I was really immature while arguing.
Here is my problem: When I’m trying to fantasize about a proposal in unkown future, I instantly get sad. We argued so much about it, how can a proposal feel good? I want someone who is proud to get to marry me, not like this. I suggested to him to never get married, because this is not a start of a marriage I imagined. He was okay with it. But I’m not sure if I always will be resentful (which would be unfair because it would be my decision to stay.) Mostly, I’m just so mad that I started fighting about it and putting pressure on him. I wish I had handled it better.
Does anyone here were in a similar situation? I feel so lost and need advice. Is this the kind of incompatibility to break up?
TLDR: My boyfriend won't propose after 2 years (I know, not long) and I don't know if I need to break up.
submitted by Nimi345 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:19 SoSolidKerry Journey so far of herniated disc (including what's worked for me)

Hello, one and all. Been lurking for a while. Thought I'd share my experience thus far. I'm a 45-year-old female who herniated L4/L5 in early January. I'm, therefore, four months, two weeks post-injury.
It's a mild-ish protrusion pressing on nerves and causing sciatica. I have never had back pain. I'm a Brit. I plan to get over this conservatively and do not intend to have any injections or surgery. Note that I have some trouble lifting my left foot and walking as normal on that side, but everything is functional. I am able to lift my toes and heels, and I have full sensation everywhere.
From my scan, disc height is compromised only a tiny bit (I have juicy discs). I have a very wide and spacious nerve canal. No other issues aside from a transitional disc below (born with more bone than disc at L5/S1, very common, and I'm luckily in the "won't cause pain" camp) and a slight bulging disc above, which isn't pressing on anything. The transitional disc is likely to have led to this injury. But moving house finally pushed me over the edge, lifting things the wrong way.

The first month

The first month was obviously painful. Terrible sleep; sciatica was awful (burning in my left calf and left foot with some right foot tingling), and I was very stiff and leaning forward most mornings. Doing McKenzie cobras in those early days helped massively. And amazingly, I kept up with walking and averaged 15,000 steps daily. It wasn't painful. But I was taking Ibuprofen and paracetamol. I believe a lot of my sciatica has been caused by inflammation.
Back then, I was seeing a physio and doing some basic pelvic tilts, bridges, calf stretches, cat/camels, and – like I mentioned – cobra poses. Otherwise, I would mostly lie on the floor, on my front, resting. Or walking outdoors. It would take me three hours just to pluck up the courage to shower. And I could only stand under the hot water for less than a minute before lying on the floor again. Sitting was impossible. I couldn't use the car. I couldn't sleep on my left side. I would crawl down the stairs each morning after barely any sleep and go straight to the drugs. I couldn't make breakfast or do anything. But as each day wore on, I'd become less stiff and more upright and be able to walk for miles.

In search of a silver bullet

I tried everything in February and March. Acupuncture, physio, McKenzie stuff... They put me on Amitriptyline initially, but I hated it. And so they gave me Gabapentin. This helped with sleep and dialled down the pain significantly (I was on 300mg three times a day). I vaguely remember a crazy day when I walked into my local town, sat, and had cake and tea with an old friend. Still to this day, I can't figure out how! Boy, those drugs worked!
By the end of March, I discovered Egoscue and began posture therapy. I did it religiously for six weeks and even began working with a therapist. But it wasn't helping. And I didn't see any improvements. I also decided to come off the Gabapentin during this time (I would later go back on it, as I was in a lot of pain), as I felt totally off my face and hated it.
Around February, I also discovered Dr Stuart McGill. And read his excellent book, Back Mechanic. I learnt about spine hygiene and loads of other helpful stuff. Gradually, little by little, turning in bed got easier (brace that core) and getting up out of bed and off the toilet became pain-free, too. But I just wasn't seeing massive improvement.

Finding the right approach

That's when I decided to see a Master Clinician under McGill. Wow. It was the best money I had ever spent, and I'd spent more on acupuncture!
He went through my scan, was the only one to tell me about the transitional disc, and asked what I'd been doing thus far. He recommended that I give the posture therapy and the walking a break, just for a few weeks, to see if we could calm the inflammation down. And so I did. I rested. I mostly lay on the floor on my front or back and only moved around the house. No outdoor walking. No McKenzie cobra poses (which I've since discovered do more harm than good long-term and adopt a gentler version McGill recommends and says is just as effective). That was back in early April. And following his advice alone? I saw immediate improvements. In fact, the very next day, I was pain-free for seven hours. I couldn't believe it – just by resting.
I only rested for three weeks, and then I decided to try walking outdoors again. My gosh. The difference after the break! I could barely do ten minutes around the block without pain. It was too much. (I could never walk first thing before either – only later on in the day. But it would usually be fine.) But my back specialist wanted me to try walking three times a day, starting small. So, I persisted. He told me to stop if walking made things worse, though. Thankfully, it's been three weeks since I began walking outdoors again, and I'm making great progress. I can now get up from bed and walk immediately (I had to give it an hour before I ventured out of the house). And I can walk for half an hour, too. Three times a day. I find that a morning walk is crucial. I am stiff and a little sore at first, but it eases. And sets me up for the day. I also enjoy two or three hours of no pain when returning home.

Finally seeing progress

Since early April, the improvements have been gradual but almost daily. They're so small sometimes that you hardly notice them! It's only when you look back that you realise how far you've come!
In the six weeks since I worked with my back specialist, I have seen the constant burning sciatica in my foot and calf mostly disappear. Initially, I had a lot of fuzzing. That has now subsided, and since then, it's gone from fuzzing to cold water feelings and tingling... with occasional burning again (mostly only in the top of my calf), but that goes quickly. Now and again, I'll get a random ten minutes of a burning foot again, but it soon disappears.
A few weeks ago, I started getting new sharp and painful jolts in my left hip. That's apparently blood returning to the nerves. For the last week, I have barely had any foot or calf issues—I mostly have sharp pulling nerve pain on my left kneecap and similar symptoms in my hip. Only in the last month have I occasionally started to get a bruised feeling in my lumbar spine.
The morning stiffness and leaning forward? Gone. I am bolt-upright every morning and feel pretty good, posture-wise. Funny enough, since I quit doing the posture therapy. Go figure!
My glutes are very tight and constantly holding themselves. I'm trying to teach them to relax, but it's tough, as I know they're protecting themselves. I've been using heat to relax them—just a microwaved wheat sack some mornings.
Under a week ago, I came off Gabapentin. And I also quit Ibuprofen about five weeks ago. The only meds I take now are paracetamol – just one dose in the middle of the night to calm my (good) right hip that gets sore from only sleeping on that side.

How far I've come

Here I am, four months and two weeks post-injury. I still can't sit on a soft surface (I use a special sciatica cushion on a dining chair), I can't sit in a vehicle for the same reason, I can't sleep on my left side, and I still have some mild foot drop but am walking better.
On a positive note, the pain symptoms are changing daily, which is apparently a good sign. I am starting to feel some back pain for the first time, too. Centralisation is perhaps occurring. Instead of lying on the floor for several hours before breakfast, I now find better relief in standing and moving around. I can also sit for short spurts on my dining chair first thing in the morning, whereas before, I'd only be able to do that from midday.
I'm sleeping better. Six or seven hours a night. It's a tad broken, but I feel rested. And when I get up in the morning? Whereas before, my left leg and foot would go crazy with fuzzing and burning, now? Nothing. A mild tingling some mornings, but otherwise, fine.
I spend more of my days moving around, standing, walking, and occasionally sitting than "resetting" on the floor. And when I do feel sciatica getting worse, a brief rest on the floor makes the pain go away. It's never 100 per cent pain-free, you understand. It's mildly uncomfortable and feels like it could get worse at any moment, but I'm good.
And I'm finding that if I overdo it, any flare-up I might have is brief and easily overcome. Whereas before, it might've been five days to recover, now it's an hour resting on the floor.
If I stand at my standing desk for too long, my lumbar ache begins. It's not painful. It just feels weird—bruised, almost unstable, like I can feel it stacked. I lie down, reset, and then I'm good to go.

What has really helped

I now know what to do to avoid triggering pain. I can tie my shoes with my foot on a bench and lunge in. I have a shoe horn – a game-changer! I also use a strapped-on ice pack when I need to calm my nerves. Less so these days. And heat on my ass when the glutes feel too tight. I only take paracetamol in the middle of the night to help me sleep. Oh, and I find going to bed with an ice pack on sometimes really helps!
The meds definitely helped in those painful early days; but I need feedback. Once I felt I could, I stopped taking everything.
During this time, I also hired a cleaner (fortnightly) and a gardener. I've not stopped working (I have no choice; I am a freelancer). And I have no kids. So I don't have to commute anywhere. I stay at home and rest, and the only time I leave the house is to walk. I also invested in a new mattress, a game changer (John Ryan Artisan Luxury, if anyone wants to know). I am very lucky in all of these respects, I know.
The walking really helps – but it was only when I stopped, rested, and allowed by body to heal that I noticed a difference in my symptoms.

What's next?

I'm nowhere near ready to begin strength training. And I've avoided all physio and stretching of late. I am just doing what my back specialist recommends. Some mild cat/camels to get the blood flowing, walking, resting. I take magnesium, turmeric, vitamins D and B12, omega-3. I try to avoid sugar and alcohol (I don't always succeed on that one). I'm not ready for longer walks yet. And there's no way I could take a bath, sit up in bed, or sit on the sofa.
But I am healing. This has been quite the journey, but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm excited for the next phase of recovery: rehab! And boy, will I be taking it seriously—for the rest of my life! It's down to us, after all. No one can do it for us.
There are some big life events coming up that I know I'm not ready for. When they get closer, if I'm still not better, I will call my GP and ask for advice. Ibuprofen might be brought out again. Perhaps even something stronger. But if I'm one of the lucky ones, I should be seeing further progress in the coming weeks and months.
I rate my ability to function normally when I can sleep on my left side again, drive my car and when I can sit on the sofa, too! I won't mind if there is some residual pain and weakness. As long as I can function without having the crux of a floor and yoga mat nearby.
I am more than happy to answer any questions. I hope this has helped someone. It's certainly helped me to get it all on screen. And I wanted to thank this community for all I've learned this year. I hope you're not in too much pain.
submitted by SoSolidKerry to Sciatica [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:18 pillowcase-of-eels [Music] Emilie Autumn's Asylum, pt. 6 – High-concept musician responds to online criticism by waging successful attrition war against her own fanbase

🪞
Welcome back to the Asylum write-up, where we explore the decade-long slow-motion car crash that is the Emilie Autumn fandom.
Sorry this installment took so long to upload! Just a heads-up, I may take some time to deliver the last one too – these posts take forever to format on Reddit's finicky-ass editor, and my dumb real life is currently keeping me from precious Internet time. Thank you for your patience! You have my word that everyone who pre-ordered the final installment will receive a PERSONAL, HANDWRITTEN letter autographed and illustrated by me, a list of the snacks I consumed while composing this write-up, some exclusive behind-the-scenes secrets, and a pony.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4.1Part 4.2 Part 5
Places, everyone This is a test Throw your stones Do your damage Your worst, and your best (...) And if I had a dollar For every time I repented the sin And commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today (“God Help Me”, 2006🎵)
Quick recap of where we left off. First, there were five to ten halcyon years of pleasant and meaningful interactions between EA and her blossoming fanbase, prominently by way of her official forum. Then, circa 2009-2010, EA's online presence shifted towards sudden anger outbursts, ban-hammering, and an increasingly top-down communication style.
This created a sort of primordial rift within the fanbase, between those who supported EA's right to speak her mind and regulate her own fan spaces however she pleased – and those who thought that her reactions were rude and inappropriate (at best), and that even fan spaces should allow for reasonable, non-abusive criticism of the artist.
Between a poorly-handled book release (see Part 3), the controversial (Part 2) or dubiously true (Part 4) contents of said book, and serious shade from various former collaborators (Part 5), more and more fans had pressing thoughts about EA's work ethic and choices. EA attempted damage control through drastic forum rules that made it virtually impossible to voice any “serious” critical opinion. It didn't work, of course: instead of squashing the mutiny, she created a schism.
Critical fans and active haters started congregating on unofficial platforms.

“WITH MUFFINS LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES?”: TROLL LIKE A GIRL

So here we were, the early 2010s. The official forum (which had about 700 members in 2006, if you recall) was now thousands-strong, reaching just over 12,000 registered users in 2012 – not all of them active, but still. In terms of sheer numbers and content creation, the party was POPPIN'... but increasingly in parts of the Asylum that escaped EA's jurisdiction, such as Tumblr, where they could speak their mind freely.
You play the victim very well You've built your self-indulgent hell You wanted someone to understand you Well, be careful what you wish for, because I do (“I Know Where You Sleep”, 2006🎵)
In one wing of Asylum Tumblr, a smattering of call-out blogs emerged, which laid out EA's various lies, faux pas, shitty takes, and general deep-seated terribleness in detailed timelines and screenshots (or, short of that, long-winded bullet points). While many such blogs framed it as “serious” whistleblowing and did their best to remain as fact-based and neutral as they could, there was some genuine disgust, animosity and creepiness towards EA on that side of Tumblr; for some ex-fans, “exposing the truth” was mostly justify obsessive hatred, prying and verbal abuse. Some, for instance, felt the bizarre need to side with EA's mother in their estrangement. (One user, with the URL “emilyautumnfischkopf”, argued in a serious and down-to-earth tone - but with zero sources - that EA's upbringing had been nothing but peaceful and supportive until she ungratefully kicked her loving family to the curb for no reason at all. They were later revealed 🔍 to have an alternate handle as “eaisalyingcunt”.)
Either way, through these blogs, a number of potential drama bombs that had mostly flown under the radar were dredged up from over the years – some of which were hard to ignore, even for supportive fans. Where to begin?
There was that nonsense in-joke song, captured twice on camera during the 2009 tour (to very little outrage, at the time), crassly called “Manatee Retard”📺. Or EA's scathing response, in print, to a wheelchair user who found it insensitive that she used a bedazzled wheelchair as a prop to do sexy acrobatics on stage. (“Your offence taken at my hard-won self-acceptance proves that I indeed have something to fight against”, she wrote). Spoken word tracks where she made trivializing knock-knock jokes about serious mental illnesses she didn't have, like schizophrenia and OCD. Multiple instances of calling Britney Spears a “bimbo” and a “Hollywood fucked-up”, resentfully claiming that she only shaved her head because she was “hopped up on drugs” and certainly not because she was “bipolar”, a word the press liked to wield as an insult anyway. (“That's almost like calling someone a retard!” Yeah, heaven forbid.) The meanest, most distasteful paragraphs in the book. Basically everything problematic EA had ever said or written.📝 In retrospect, it had been a long time coming, but it was a lot to take in – and certainly more off-putting, even to less emotionally invested fans, than silly lies about her age and last name.
In another wing of Asylum Tumblr, some fans had had it up to here and just wanted to have fun. 🎵 If Plague Rats had learned one valuable lesson from EA, it was how to crack a joke in the face of absurd tragedy – and the general state of the EA fandom certainly warranted a few.
In 2012, Fight Like a Girl was released. After six long years, three of which had been peaceful, the Opheliac era was officially over. The new album and ensuing tour confirmed that the Asylum had entered a process of glamorous Broadway-style militarization. 🎵📺
The mood board was “Roman general meets Vegas showgirl meets Victorian street urchin”.🪞 The color palette was, to naysayers, “musty pink and rotten, stale piss yellow”. 🐀 The keyword was “REVENGE” (through the power of... self-expression! sorority! brutal assault with rusty medical implements!). The chorus of the title song had an intriguing run-on line about getting “revenge on the world, or at least 49% of the people in it” 🎵 – which seemed like an awful lot, and was widely interpreted (to cheers, boos, or uncomfortable sighs) as a misandrist jab at literally all men on Earth.
The show was essentially a demo version of the musical, in that the setlist vaguely reflected the order of events in the story – but prior reading was essential in order to get what the hell was going on on stage. This one Broadway reviewer had not perused the literature before seeing the show 🔍, and hated: the set, the choreography, the skits, the plot, the lyrics, the music, the concept. (Seriously, you should read the review. It's not even my show and I feel like quitting show business.)
Pre-show VIP encounters, now violin-free, were lorded over by EA's new manager🐀, whose official title was “Asylum Headmistress”. (Interesting choice – she sounds fun!) The swag bags were less substantial than before, and the “greet” part of the meet-and-greet was rarely more than a quick hug and photo op.
On Twitter, EA continued to embrace her “I am very badass” fronting attitude...
Often wonder if cyberbullies r aware they’re fucking w/ a girl who’s BFs w/ maker of the SAW films & is marrying a knife-throwing scorpion. (🐀📝)
...and her taste for needlessly inflammatory statements. About an aisle sign in a supermarket:
If this does not infuriate you, then you're a fucking potato.
(Again with the confounding crypto-ableism, EA! 🔍) She also went through a phase of raging against Lady Gaga 📝, who had stolen her idea of using a wheelchair on stage as an able-bodied woman. 🔍 That failed to convince anyone that she wasn't the histrionic diva that haters made her out to be.
Spurred on by EA's rallying cries and “us vs them” mentality, loyalists turned the white-knighting up to 11. On Twitter, some Plague Rats got into cat fights with Lady Gaga's Little Monsters (what a time to be alive). Others tried to balance out the Tumblr negativity with initiatives like “Spreading a Plague of Love” – a “positive-only” confession blog, whose extreme fangirling, comically drastic rules and hyper-defensive tone📝 did not debunk the increasingly popular notion that “true Plague Rats” were a bunch of authoritarian and hopelessly brainwashed fanatics.
EA truthers and other anti-fans started lashing out at anyone who dared express any positive opinion of EA, solidifying claims that the backlash against EA was just a conspiracy of bitter, hysterical bullies.
All this to say: every passing day brought new reasons for fans to get mad at EA and each other, and everyone in the Asylum was in need of a laugh. It's not easy having a good time.🦠
Leading up to Fight Like a Girl and in the years that followed, user-submission-based meme blogs took off, most notably “Spreading a Plague of Lulz / Troll Like a Girl”. A lot of the early submissions were absurdist humor and toothless, cheezburger-Impact memes (a style that was, oddly, already dated at the time). Those often originated in good fun, and from loyal fans, on the official forum. But there was also true snark, satirizing EA's questionable ethics, outrageous claims, and easily spoofed artistic gimmicks. A new slang of Asylumspeak emerged: Glittertits (slight NSFW), GAGA!!, EA Gusta and all its memeface variants, Get outta mah house!, Are You Suffering?, Fight Like A Goat, [Random celebrity] copied EA (a subgenre in its own right), ...
Most of the “trolling” was directed at unrepentant bootlickers and, to a lesser extent, red-in-the-face haters and creeps. Meme blogs would post joke comments under “serious” or gushing submissions on Wayward Victorian Confessions, and taunt loyalist accounts by tagging them in their posts. When a few people complained on WVC that almost all of the Bloody Crumpets to date had been thin white able-bodied women, and a few fans responded by sharing their dream-casts for a more diverse line-up, the blog was flooded for days with confessions that “X should be a Crumpet” (candidates included RuPaul, Mitt Romney, Nicki Minaj, EA's therapist, and the WVC admins). Farcical shenanigans like that.
Ah, but some people will always cross the line, won't they. EA threads popped up on merciless, bully-friendly snark platforms like Lolcow, Pretty Ugly Little Liar, and Encyclopedia Dramatica. Snarkers with a mean streak and obsessive haters mingled in some of the more aggressive, 4-chan-spirited retaliation against EA – which would be called “brigading” in modern parlance. This included flooding EA's Goodreads page with one-star reviews (see part 4), repeatedly editing her Wikipedia page to include her legal name and birth year, and ensuring that Googling said name would bring up current pictures of her.
All of this compounded agitation fragmented the once-united fandom beyond recognition.🦠 Through substantial disagreements among fans, personal bickerings, layers upon layers of inscrutable in-jokes, and cross-platform telephone games, the Asylum morphed into a booby-trapped Escher room.
Satire blogs were taken in earnest. Earnest fan blogs scanned as satire. Memes would get called out as abuse. Appreciation without attached criticism would get mocked as bootlicking. Obvious jokes made by EA would be taken at face value. One divisive confession could trigger days and days of debate, to the point that WVC eventually banned confessions in response to other confessions. New waves of infighting created a confusing web of rival sub-factions🐀, each accusing the others of being toxic, cliquish, and delusional.
The shared fantasy was broken, the collective vision had crumbled, no onez was speaking the same language anymore. Fans would jump down the throat of other fans who held almost identical views about EA, except for that one thing she said or did that one time. Everyone had differing thoughts on what should or shouldn't acceptable to discuss, question, excuse, make fun of.
War is hell.

SCORCHED EARTH SHENANIGANS: HONEY, I SHRUNK THE ASYLUM

Would you tear my castle down Stone by stone And let the wind run through my windows Till there was nothing left But a battered rose? (“Castle Down”, 2003🎵)
Haters vs sycophants is not really the kind of conflict where one side can come out on top (if you're participating, you've already lost). But in the long tug-of-war between “grassroots” and “EA-sponsored” fan spaces, the ultimate winner is obvious – in that the former is gasping in agony, a shriveled husk of its former glory, while the latter... is non-existent. This is due in no small part to EA's tendency, like the Czars of old, to settle conflicts by setting Moscow on fire.🔍)
That's not entirely fair: unlike EA, the czar only did it that once.
By early 2013, as EA was gearing up for her third Fight Like a Girl tour at the end of the year, the official forum was... not as lively as it once had been. Not just because of the stifling rules and disgruntlement towards EA, or because EA herself hadn't really posted anything on there in years; the Internet was also changing, and forums in general were fast becoming passé.
This made it difficult for EA to create a safe space where she could talk to fans, and fans could talk to and about her, in a way she deemed suitable (ie, a space she could gate-keep and regulate enough to keep it completely free from negative criticism). Social media was a minefield; she still posted regularly, but didn't interact very much. So EA and the Headmistress came up with a way to filter out the unbelievers: an official fan club📝, aptly called the “Asylum Army”, with a $100 entry price.
Joining the AA came with a dog tag, a sew-on patch, and a lifetime membership certificate signed by EA and – for some reason – the Headmistress. (Unlike EA's best friend and sound engineer back in the forum's heyday, I don't think fans ever really embraced the FLAG-era manager as part of the Asylum in-group. She came across more as a coordinator / businessperson / adult chaperone, at best.🐀) So, slightly better goodies than you'd get by joining the other AA 🔍 ... but not by much. The main appeal was that members would have access to exclusive content, special merch, giveaways, early bird tickets for future shows, and regular video chats with EA.
The concept itself drew a fair amount of criticism, as you can imagine. Between the name🐀, the price, and the inherent gatekeeping of a pay-to-join fanclub, many balked at the monetizing of a concept that had once (like, three years back) been significantly more DIY, grassroots, and inclusive. 📝🐀
Then again, many also longed for a positive, drama-free space where fans could just be fans. And while the creation of the AA was generally recognized as a quick cashgrab, a lot of people were surprisingly cool with it. EA was trying to finance her dream musical, after all – although a number of fans wished she had gone about raising funds in a less sketchy way.
So around 400 fans shelled out (which, according to the Headmistress📝, “basically cover[ed] the cost of running the fanclub itself – keeping the database up, website, etc.”). Enough for a close-knit, but sizable community. But already, there was a conflict of interest: a high fanclub entry fee essentially demands that you pledge loyalty to the artist over loyalty to your fellow fans, who wish to join but can't afford to. Sharing, caring, and ensuring no one felt left out were some of the more positive values cultivated in the fandom... but leaking exclusive content would surely piss off other paying members🐀, and make EA feel betrayed all over again. (And she had barely just started to mellow out on social media!)
...But then again, this is the internet. After the first month of secret AA drops (lyric sheets, some photoshoot outtakes – nothing too juicy, really), there were, yes, some leaks. EA was predictably miffed, and retaliated by... ghosting the fanclub for weeks at a time in its first few months of existence (great look!). She eventually found the “solution” to her problem, by providing something you couldn't right-click-save (and which had been part of the promised perks to begin with): live interaction.
Over webcam, she was her usual in-person bubbly, charming, funny self. Everyone seemingly had a good time during the fanclub video chat, and this gave people faith and hope.
There were a few more events, giveaways, etc. As promised, ahead of the fall 2013 tour (the last one to date, it would turn out), AA members got priority access to show tickets and VIP bundles. The latter were much pricier than before, and only included soundcheck, a photo-op, and three goodies: a tin of loose-leaf tea, a signed printer-paper setlist, and a small flag that said “F.L.A.G.”.🔍 Some stuff continued to leak – but, as some of the outlaws pointed out (scroll down to the Disqus comments), they were mostly relaying information that was relevant to the entire fanbase, such as updates about ongoing projects (the dragged-out recording of the audiobook, for one).
In early 2014, lifetime memberships were closed, and replaced with monthly, quarterly and yearly subscription tiers. Bizarrely, you ended up paying $3 more per month if you bought a $99 yearly subscription📝 – but it did include the patch, dog tag, and piece of paper!
Sometimes I kind of want to be part of the cool kids and register to the Asylum Army. Then I remember how it came about, what you could get for the same price a couple years ago, how the whole thing was and is handled, and that I won’t support any of this bullshit. (And then I roll around naked in all the money I’m saving.) (🐀)
Still, a number of fans rejoiced at the affordable monthly option, and joined – if not for the exclusive content and merch (which were... okay, but not much to write home about), then for the friendly, drama-free exchanges with an artist they actually did love, in spite of all the frustration.
For the still-too-poor or still-undecided, there was always the forum! It wasn't as active as it used to be, but a few die-hards still managed to keep the lights on... until, inevitably, Someone Did Something and Ruined Everything. (Once again: EA's wrath is spectacular, but rarely completely unprovoked.) The incident features one notable figure in the Asylum community. Let's call him the Collector.
OK, so maybe you remember the meme I linked to in Part 4, with Christian Grey and the ginormous EA hoard. Well, that's the Collector's collection. The “Violin” promo that I called the "Holy Grail of the fandom" in the same paragraph? Also his. The handwritten lyrics that went for $940? Guess who won that auction. Over the years, the Collector had probably spent five figures on EA merch and shows, and although that fact was a little unsettling, he was a very active, easy-going, and generally well-liked fixture of the fandom.
One day in 2012, shortly after the Headmistress had replaced EA's old Chicago BFF as main forum admin, the Collector's account got banned or restricted over something dumb. When the ban wasn't lifted as quickly as he hoped, he took it... the way one takes things when one is unhealthily invested: he started spamming Headmistress and the mod team with increasingly rambling and abusive emails (lost to time, probably for the best). When that didn't work quickly enough, he tried a different route.
One of the many auctions that the Collector had won, some years prior, was EA's old iPod Touch📝 – which contained all of her favorite tunes and, buried somewhere in the data cache... a phone number. Which the Collector tried calling. And wouldn't you know it: EA picked up. She congratulated him on his sleuthing skills, listened patiently as he made his case, apologized for any distress caused by the unfair account restriction, and then they got married.
Kidding! She freaked the fuck out, hung up, and banned him for life from the forum and all EA shows and events.
After his ban, the Collector allegedly still tried to attend at least one VIP pre-show (one source in the comments says he was allowed to buy some merch, refunded for his ticket, and escorted out). He joined the Reform forum to bitch about EA and try to rally people to his cause, possibly made revenge posts about her on darker snark forums, and continued to hound the Asylum mod team. So in June 2014, EA came up with a radical and unexpected fix to the Collector problem.
The official Asylum Fan Forum has been shut down permanently. I have personally paid thousands of dollars each year to keep the forum safe and secure for you ... Unfortunately, the forum has not been kept safe and secure for me, a truth which disappoints me greatly, instead becoming a place where people who have physically threatened myself and my staff prey upon forum members, pressuring them to contact me and my staff on their behalf. If the gullible wish to humor my stalkers (who live in their parent’s basement at age 30 something) and thus put me in danger, they may do it on their own dime. They may also fuck off, because stupidity can kill, and I won’t be your victim. To those who enjoyed the forum, you know who to thank for its closure. (“On the closing of the Asylum Forum”)
Voilà! This is how a decade-long archive of shared history ends: not with a bang, but with a dirty delete and a sod-off communiqué.
The obliteration of the forum took everyone by surprise...
I was actually on the forum when it was taken down. I was navigating between posts and when I went to click on a different board, an error message came up. I honestly cried a little, I'm not ashamed to say. (WVC admin on Reddit, 2024)
...and I do mean everyone:
Chicago BFF / ex-admin, the next morning: Whoa, EA forum shut down? Ex-mod: It turns out that if someone spends enough years actively “waging war” to destroy what they can’t have, eventually they’ll be successful. * eye roll * Not even mods got prior warning. Just all the sudden, poof, gone. BFF: Really? She did not let the moderators know?! This is sounding worse and worse. Uggh. I’m so sorry. Such a loss. (...) Ok, threats are serious, but why not just put it in archive mode so no one can post? (...) Sad. I shall light a candle in the forum's honor. (Facebook posts; scroll down for screenshots)
It was a gut punch, especially for people who had poured countless hours into the community, or could have used some prior warning to save years of their own writing from the role-playing threads. One last chance to take a look around the place that had meant so much to so many.
From the wording of the announcement of closing the forum and a number of other things, it sometimes seems like EA doesn't like her fans much. :/ (🐀)
Three months after the forum was nuked, Battered Rose (a venerable EA fansite, which had been around since the Enchant era and had one of the most complete EA galleries online) announced that it was shutting down too.📝 The admin, who had also been a long-time forum mod, cited a lack of “time, energy, passion, or money” to keep the website going... and being upset at the sudden disappearance of the forum. It was, truly, the end of an era for the Asylum.
...Well, no point in living in the past. For those who could afford it, and still wanted to talk to/about EA after that (not everyone did 🐀), there was always the Asylum Army fanclub!
Over the summer of 2014, EA held regular live chats and Q&A's, and... many attendees really enjoyed them, and thought the AA was well worth the money after all. She also quietly parted ways with the much poo-pooed Headmistress around that time.
Just spent over 4 hours giggling, drinking tea and playing guessing games in chat with EA and other Asylum Army members ... No griping, no downers, just lots of fun. I think I like the way the ‘new fandom’ is going and now I’m really glad I finally decided to join the Army. (September 4, 2014🐀; Battered Rose had closed the day before)
The forum was lost forever, but perhaps that was a chance for a fresh start. Could this fanclub thing really be the Asylum Renaissance that fans had been longing for?
...I have come today to a very difficult but necessary decision, and that is to discontinue the Emilie Autumn Official Fanclub. The site itself, and the community chatroom, will remain open to you indefinitely, but I will no longer be making updates to the site. (Newsletter, September 8, 2014📝)
...Never mind, then.
Turns out the fanclub had been the Headmistress' idea all along. EA had been reluctant from the start, and although she really enjoyed the live chats with a safe community of people “who are there for the right reasons”, she couldn't overcome her fundamental discomfort with the concept. Lifetime and regular members would receive a bunch of digital downloads and a -35% coupon on the Asylum Emporium for their troubles. EA said she would definitely pop back once in a while for live chats, for free, just for fun, but to my knowledge, she never did.
And so the most devoted fans were left standing in the rain...
She is happy, she made it. She is fulfilling her dreams, found love and happiness after all the pain. I understand that she now doesn’t need “us” anymore ... That doesn’t change the fact she broke my heart with taking the Asylum Army and the forum from me. Yet, I am happy for her. (🐀)
...while naysayers pointed and laughed, Nelson-style.🦠
I don’t feel sorry at all for the people that paid for the Asylum Army fan club. Most of them knew that EA is an atrocious business woman and has broken many promises before. In fact, I laugh at them. They seriously thought that EA would actually stay consistent with this? (🐀)

EVERYTHING MUST GO: THE ASYLUM WHOLESALE

EA fans were left without an “official” home for about three years. This gave them plenty of time to be annoyed at EA for: not releasing the audiobook on time, not materializing any new project for a while... and the new sin of peddling random, ridiculously marked-up AliBaba jewelry as “merch” on her official store. Think faux-antique cameo pendants and $30 Big Ben rings (...because the Asylum story is set in London, get it?).
The whole accessories section looks like a tacky overpriced English souvenir shop. (🐀)
The fanbase lost a lost of steam in those in-between years, because there wasn't much to stick around for. As evidenced by the positive reception of the AA live chats, even in the midst of unresolved drama, out-loud interactions in a friendly environment have always been EA's saving grace. Considering the amount of online hate, there are shockingly few accounts of bad IRL encounters with EA: most people say that in live conversation, she comes across as a fun, warm, and genuinely sweet person. Some report that their negative opinion shifted after meeting her.
But there were no chats or live shows anymore. There was only social media, where she ignored questions and vague-posted about overdue projects – and the newsletter📝, which was all saccharine love-bombing to promote bland dropshipped trinkets. For fans who remembered the handcrafted merch (and two-way communication) of the early years, it was a bitter pill to swallow.

CONTINUED IN COMMENTS


submitted by pillowcase-of-eels to HobbyDrama [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:16 A_Silly_Little_Gay I think I might by aro, but I’m in a relationship.

I think I might be aro, as the title says, but I currently have a girlfriend. We’ve been dating for three months now and it feels like all my other relationships have. At some point in all my relationships (close to the two or three month mark) I’ve felt like the relationship isn’t worth anything, or that we aren’t close and it isn’t working out. I never feel any desire to reconcile, though, and I’ve had a bunch of partners that I’ve broken up with because of this and couldn’t give them a solid reason. “I don’t feel it” just seems too juvenile an answer. However, I’m really concerned about my girlfriend. I want to hold out until the summer, maybe break up with her when she goes to college? But she has so many plans for our future. She wants this to be long term and she’s such a good friend and I don’t want this to be anything more. She took my virginity— and I have kind of a high sex drive— but friends with benefits isn’t something she’d be into. She’s emotionally demanding in a way that I don’t think I could be good for and she’s a little (DD/lg) who requires constant reassurance. I guess, I just don’t know what to do. I’m only in my freshman year and she’s a senior but it feels like I’m years older than her. I don’t know how to broach the topic with her. (Also, I don’t know if it’s important, but she shuts down when I bring up topics she doesn’t like. For example, I’m trans (FtM) and she shuts down when I talk about being excited for top surgery or T. We’re both pretty sure she’s a lesbian, but 🤷🏽‍♂️)
submitted by A_Silly_Little_Gay to aromantic [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:14 ThrowRA_remaincalm I (22NB) was in a mentally draining relationship with (22M) Advice?

Im a 22NB who dates my 22M boyfriend Wes for a year and a lot of stuff has happened between now and then. I don’t think I can give a play by play as it might make me sick but I’ll try to dwindle down the important bits: we met each other in a discord server for a niche media. We starting dating very soon into our friendship (bad idea). Things went well and I felt so loved and divine but things changed when we went back to aforementioned server. I’ve made a list of things that Wes has done (this is to cut for time, but I also need advice as to what anyone else would’ve done) 1. One of the first things they said to me was “I can’t be your confidant, you need to find your own friends to be your support group” 2. Whenever Wes was upset, he’d isolate and withdrawal, I’d take notice and tries to help, I only succeeded once and things went back to normal, but the pattern continued and he overall stopped being as loving to me verbally 3. After awhile, I noticed that I was the one taking lead (making plans to meetup, starting conversations, planning dates) so I backed off to let Wes take the lead but he never did. We would actually go almost an entire day before Wes would message me. 4. When I started making my own friends, he insisted on being their friend to…. But he told me to make my own friends. Hm. He’d also claim some of my older friends as his. 5. Whenever an artist we both follow would follow me back (making us mutuals), he’d say something very vaguely along the lines of “Oh… I was following them for SO LONG but that’s cool that they’re your mutual now” 6. We never had serious conversation because whenever I would ask the “important but uncomfortable questions” he’d choke up and disengage entirely 7. Whenever I brought up the fact that he did something that hurt me, his default response was “I’m sorry you feel that way.” Followed by repeating the behavior 8. Because I have crippling anxiety, I would get worried whenever he didn’t respond to my DMs, so I would go looking for him, just to find him in a call having fun with our friends. 9. Once my mental health got so bad that I was begging for someone to talk to me, in which Wes replied “We can’t help you, you need therapy” (he was aware that I had trauma with being gaslit in the past where my abusers would say the exact same thing) 10. I suggested we take a break because my mental health was declining, we made rules to abide by, and he promptly broke one 11. His affection for me verbally went down a lot, diaspore him being an “overly affectionate person with love to spare”, he was verbally lovey with friends. But not me. So when we took a break I thought it would be different because I was a friend again and not a partner but it didn’t change. 12. He started being more affectionate to someone I became close to and ignored me during the same call. I snapped because I was at my wits end and ended up hurting the friend. I felt terrible for it. 13. He got really sick and because I physically lacked sympathy, I expressed my sorry and let him sleep (he said he was going to sleep in the call so I left him to it), later on he started berating me with insults and when he finally cooled off a bit he told me that he was upset because I didn’t show him worry while he was sick, he told me that “I was so scared I was going to die that I told myself that I needed to tell you that I loved you every night” (he didn’t say anything to me during his cold at all.) But because I was incapable of sympathy I could only offer logical solutions and rest. His previous actions also conditioned me into never asking him if he was okay because it was clear that he didn’t care if I asked for not so I stopped asking. This breakup was so messy because my feelings and my needs kept getting ignored, my love language is quality time but he never “quality timed with me” 14. When I noticed that I wasn’t being treated like a partner, I asked him to please make time for me and to call me first sometimes, whenever he called he would be scrolling on his phone for the entire time and only spoke when it was to announce he was leaving to hang out with our mutual friends. Planning dates was abysmal. 15. After we broke up he told me that one of the things that he hated is that “I only accept love when it’s on my terms”, we have very different love languages, mine is quality time and his is physical touch. I am touch adverse. I forced myself to accept his touch because I knew that it was the only was I knew for a fact that he loved me. He never let me have quality time. We only did physical touch. Ouch. There’s…. Too many more and I don’t want to type all of them because I’m loosing sleep but please help me understand why it’s me who has to pick up all the pieces that he scattered?
submitted by ThrowRA_remaincalm to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:10 cinigen Interracial Relationships

I'm a black girl in a relationship with a Saudi guy and I'm feeling pretty skeptical about where things are heading. The thing is, he's never introduced me to his parents yet I've brought him home to meet my family multiple times and they seemed to get along okay. It was a bit uncomfortable for them at first considering I'm dating someone who's not black but they really did try to make him feel welcome.
When he's at my place, he bonds with my brothers over video games and my sisters have braided his hair in cornrow box braids because he likes them and wanted to see how they would look on him. He's really tried to understand and embrace black culture and I've been learning about Saudi/Middle Eastern culture in return. I believe that loving someone means understanding their background so I'm always asking him about Saudi Arabia and he loves sharing things with me. I sometimes check out YouTube videos for extra info too and I’ve even started learning Arabic for him. It's a challenging language so I'm taking one-on-one classes with a native speaker since we're both busy college students and he doesn’t have the time to consistently teach me. But my Arabic has been improving which I’m very happy about.
The issue is that I don’t think he has any plans to introduce me to his family. I've been patient, thinking he might not be ready but lately, I’m worried that his family might be racist. I mean, it's not like I'm jumping to conclusions or anything but I've heard stories and seen stuff on social media about racism among Arabs. Some of my black friends have experienced racism from Arab kids at the park where they were called the N-word with both soft and hard "r." So, it's hard not to let those thoughts creep in. But to be fair, my boyfriend himself has never shown any signs of racism. He's always treated me with kindness, respect, compliments me, and has been nothing but loyal. We also attempted to be intimate once but it didn’t go well. I was nervous and uncomfortable and he noticed so we stopped after just making out. But despite all of this, I still can't shake off this feeling that he should have introduced me to his family by now.
Our summer break is approaching and he has plans to go to Saudi Arabia for the summer. I thought he might ask me to join him but he didn’t. When I suggested it, he said his entire family would be there which just gave me the impression that he was hinting that he didn’t want them to see me. I was really upset but chose not to make a scene. I told him I understood but I cried about it later that night. I also feel uneasy about him going to Saudi Arabia because I've heard stories of Arab men dating foreigners temporarily and then returning home to marry someone from their own culture or having arranged marriages by their parents. It honestly feels like there’s a cloud hanging over my head and it’s making me wonder if I'm just a temporary fling. I really hope that's not the case but these thoughts are just eating away at me and I'm not sure what to do.
What do you all think? Should I bring it up with him or is it best to end relationship? Any advice would be great. This is my first time dating an Arab so I’m feeling a bit lost.
submitted by cinigen to saudiarabia [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:09 wanbincell Confronting the Cancer Care Plight: Using First Principles to Navigate Your Cancer Journey

[Preface]()

As we journey through life, the specter of cancer looms large, presenting a formidable challenge that many of us may eventually face. When confronted with cancer, our priorities shift dramatically, with life itself swiftly rising to the forefront of our concerns, relegating all else to the background. Our immediate focus narrows to combating this disease. While many adhere strictly to their doctor’s recommendations, selecting treatments reputed for their efficacy and cost-effectiveness, this path is not the sole option. It is crucial to recognize that, although contemporary cancer treatments might appear limited, this does not necessarily reflect on the reliability of medical advice. On the contrary, I believe the reason for the inadequacy in cancer treatment levels is that the entire cancer treatment system does not aim to address the fundamental issues of cancer.
Globally, the data reveals a startling uniformity in cancer treatment technologies across various age groups and nations, suggesting that advancements in systems, economies, and technologies have not significantly enhanced the value delivered to cancer patients. Moreover, there is a pervasive trend of overtreatment within the healthcare system dedicated to cancer care. Standardized clinical guidelines, while providing uniform treatment options, restrict the choices available to both physicians and patients, diminishing the patients' involvement in their own treatment decisions. Consequently, the treatment plans prescribed, though based on these guidelines, may not always align with the patients' long-term interests, particularly in terms of sustaining a quality life. Furthermore, the emphasis on early detection and treatment can also act as a catalyst for overtreatment.
Facing the cancer care plight, as a cancer patient, wouldn't you want to reclaim your voice and break free from this predicament?
Inspired by SpaceX’s revolutionary approach to rocket launch technology, which utilizes reusable components for enhanced cost-effectiveness, we can adopt a similar mindset in cancer care. This approach, known as first principles thinking, championed by Elon Musk, challenges us to discard conventional dependencies on analogies, precedents, and conventional wisdom. Instead, it involves deconstructing complex concepts, problems, or beliefs to their most fundamental components and rigorously examining the core of the issues.
Our lives are governed by various principles, shaped by our values, perceptions, belief systems, and reasoning methods. These principles influence our opinions and allow our brains to employ previously learned conclusions as shortcuts in thinking. Often, we adhere to these principles without questioning their foundational assumptions. While these principles may have been valid at their inception, questioning their relevance today necessitates that we overturn outdated theories and forge new realities for ourselves.
First principles thinking encourages us to embrace a new mindset, recognizing when traditional methods become obsolete. This shift in thinking eschews conventional wisdom, cuts through dogma, and challenges our own beliefs. While first principles thinking and traditional reductionism both emphasize deconstructing problems into their elemental parts, they differ in their applications and impacts. First principles thinking focuses on controlled, thoughtful examination at a foundational level, whereas reductionism often reduces problems to a microscopic scale. This distinction allows first principles thinking to provide more profound and innovative solutions to complex issues like cancer treatment, enabling us not only to better understand the nature of cancer but potentially to uncover more effective treatments.
In the realm of modern medicine, which often remains entrenched in a reductionist approach, applying first principles thinking is crucial. For cancer, this means thinking at the cellular rather than the molecular level, which is often the focus of cutting-edge research in molecular biology or genetics. By reevaluating the causes and processes of cancer through first principles and developing treatment strategies at the cellular level, we can utilize mathematical models to ensure logical completeness and accuracy, provided the input data and model settings are correct.
In this book, I introduce a life model that simplifies life into a mathematical framework, helping us pinpoint the primary factors and processes impacting life. By applying the life model, we can perceive cancer as a manifestation of aging, encapsulating the essence and treatment methods of the disease. I believe the life model exemplifies a precise application of first principles in disease management.
We address cancer using a first principles approach, following a structured process: identifying the issue, breaking it down, analyzing its fundamental components, reassembling the information, and using life models as tools for reasoning. We've further developed a cancer model consistent with these principles, leading us to the best strategies for combating cancer—a comprehensive framework for evaluating cancer therapies. Our optimal cancer treatment plan includes combinations or legal variations of approved therapies, in compliance with existing medical regulations. We discuss experimental treatments only in the context of potential future advancements in cancer care. Through this book, I aim to encourage cancer patients to actively engage in their treatment decisions and assist them in making the best choices under current conditions.
submitted by wanbincell to MyXcancer [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:06 anxietybee- I have actually beat myself up at this point and I don't know how to end the friendship

A few days ago we fought from 1:30a till about 8am. We have lengthy arguments like this all the time. We used to date, and it played a key role in the end of our relationship along with us having different values in general. I made it clear before we started dating I can't handle much fighting, particularly yelling, because of aspects of my childhood.
✨️ TLDR AHEAD
Two fights happened on my two birthdays- or before other important things like it's the night before a road trip or I'm ON the road trip. They happen when I want to go to bed or I'm about to run an errand. He monologs for literal hours at a time, and I can't speak up when he speaks incorrectly on my part because then I'm interrupting him and that causes more issues than me being misunderstood or remembered incorrectly.
In our relationship they were often caused by me not wanting him to pay my for my phone/phone bill before we'd been dating for even 3 months, though they were also caused by me being late to coming over and stuff like that as well. Sometimes I'd accidentally fall asleep after work instead of coming over, if I lay down after a shower, which I did a few times as I worked very early in the morning, and it made him feel like I didn't value his time.
I didn't talk to him for a few months after we broke up, even though he tried to contact me to apologize several times by texting/phonecalls/visiting several times at my apartment. Eventually someone knocked on my door and I opened it before I realized it was him. I didn't want to turn him away so we talked and he very sincerely apologized and talked about how he'd been going to therapy. I could recognize a great deal of change in him and we caught up on eachothers lives.
I moved to a different state like a week after we got in contact and i am struggling with this long distance friendship. He wants to talk all the time and I.. don't. I enjoy texting but sometimes I want to watch a show or play a game uninterrupted, but if I don't respond enough he feels ignored. He also likes to talk on the phone all the time and I really really don't enjoy talking on the phone at all, especially for hours at a time. We talked every night for a couple weeks in the beginning. But after a bad fight i reminded him I don't like being on the phone and said I wanted some space, which had been on my mind prior to the argument. The next week we talk on the phone for like 3 nights for a few hours, and maybe a few other little calls here and there, but he says it's not enough
But the thing is.. even when we talked for hours every night and texted pretty often it still wasn't enough. The only time it was enough was a short window when I checked my phone pretty obsessively to make sure I didn't miss a message from him and always stopped what I was doing to take his call
If my snap score goes up when we're not talking he asks me about it. I don't know why but I feel uncomfortable explaining to him the other people I talk to in the day. And often I'm not even talking to them when I'm not talking to him- they send me snaps when I'm not on my phone. I don't respond to anyone unless I make sure I respond to him first to avoid this exact issue. I feel anxious when my friends snap me because I know my score will go up and he's going to ask me about it
For the most part, our fights presently revolve around him feeling like I don't care enough about our friendship or he's feeling ignored by me. But I really really don't know what to do anymore. I was talking on the phone for hours at a time, I was texting all the time and keeping my responses as long as possible.. I was planning movie days, etc. It was never enough.
He's upset my responses are getting shorter. And to be honest they have. Often times I talk about my life, especially someone else in my life, it triggers a fight. Not always in the moment but it always comes back to bite me in the butt later. Particularly if I'm hanging out with my roommate, because in my friends eyes he and I get to hang out with all time. Which we kind of don't- my time is far more devoted to my friend than my roomate. But even if it wasn't- I like hanging out with my roomate because we can quietly sit in the same room together, and we don't have any conflict. He is a very kind presence and I'm grateful to have him as a friend.
It's hard talking about your life while also revealing the bare minimum about your life, and so I'm responding kind of shortly about my things and just try to focus on him.
The fight we had a few days ago was about us not talking enough. Sort of. The reasons our fights go on for hours is because I don't know how to respond to him when he brings up an issue. I sincerely try my best and I try it all. When he brings something up I explain to him I understand his concerns, both using his exact words and in my own words I explain why he's upset. If I agree with him I will apologize and tell him how I'm going to fix it and I fix it, after we fight for a few hours ofc, because he doesn't believe I can understand/apologize and fix something so early into a conversation.
Other times he keeps pushing me to explain myself, but if I explain my pov, things really really blow up because I don't always agree with him. And I think he confuses me not agreeing with him to not understanding. One of our fights came because he was upset when I got home with my roommate at 1am, when I had a 3 hour drive at 8am the next morning. Which blows my mind, because he fought with me literally all night before I drove across the state. I didn't tell him that though, I said I didn't mind getting home till 1 because I had fun when I was out and will still get plenty of sleep. But we still fought.
✨️TLDR
Anyway... the other day he brought up he feels like we don't talk enough. And I said I understand it's hard but this is the boundary I'm setting because I don't enjoy being on the phone, but we're talking 3/4 days a week for several hours. We fight and he says that even when we do talk I'm not talking enough right now. We fight and I reluctantly told him I just don't feel comfortable opening up right now. We fight and fight and it's turning me into a person I dont know or how to control.
In the beginning of our relationship I was quiet and just agreed to everything he said to avoid the argument. This didnt always work but it tends to. Now I get so overwhelmed and angry after several hours I mute my phone and scream into my pillow. This last call I started hitting myself, which I've never done before, and the next day my cheeks were bumpy and itchy, my forehead was swollen, my scalp hurt to touch, and I'm still getting over my two black eyes. He did NOT cause me to hit myself and he doesn't know. I feel silly for doing it. But I find myself at my breaking point and I don't know how to manage these fights anymore.
After hours and hours I break down and I just start agreeing to whatever he says I'm wrong about because I want it to end. I repeat the very thing I said eight hours ago- what I'm wrong about and how I'm going to fix it, but only now after crying on the phone all night long is sort of enough.
At the end of the call he asked if our friendship was over and I said I don't know. He asks this all the time and I basically beg him to be my friend but I don't want to anymore.
He sent me a long apology the morning after the fight and said he wouldn't do it anymore. I thanked him for not wanting those fights anymore. He sent me a pic of his dog and I said she was cute. That night I let our streak die. He messaged me this morning "you let our streak die" and I sat at my phone for ten minutes thinking of how to respond and eventually I just decided not to. He called me twice tonight at around 8pm and texted that he wanted us to talk for a bit, but i had made plans with another friend of mine a week ago to play animal crossing, so I did that and didn't respond to him. At 3am I saw he was typing on snapchat and I'm anxious because I've been receiving snaps and know my score went up, even though I have sent zero snaps to keep the number as low as I can
I know he wants to be friends still
But I sort of don't want to be friends anymore???? I really love the positive things in our relationship. In a lot of ways he was the best boyfriend and best friend I've ever had. But I can't do this anymore. I hate the person I am in these fights. I know he does not control my actions, it is not his fault I scream in my pillow or gave myself black eyes. But I have never in my life had any sort of romantic or friendly relationship like this. And I don't enjoy it. I really really love not fighting with my loved ones. And I really feel like no matter what I do to make him feel heard when he brings up an issue it's not enough. Every fight we have damages our friendship, which I've told him several times. I used to get over them easily but I am just so drained I always feel wary for the next blow up.
But I don't want him to feel like I'm abandoning our friendship? I don't know how to end a friendship? I've never had one end that wasn't a result of just growing apart. I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wish I never opened my door when he came over. I'm supposed to go to my home state shortly and I'm very anxious about being in the same state as him
submitted by anxietybee- to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.19 13:05 completewarehousesol Custom Solutions for Every Space: Warehouse Fit-Outs Unveiled

Custom Solutions for Every Space: Warehouse Fit-Outs Unveiled
By utilising custom design and planning, along with top-notch materials and skilled installation services, a warehouse fit-out by Profile Interiors can optimise your space, enhance worker safety and comfort, boost capacity, and elevate the overall visual appeal of your facility.
Warehouse Fit-Outs
The warehouse offices can be designed in two styles to suit your needs: an open space concept for a sleek modern look, or traditional enclosed offices for extra privacy.
These enclosed offices can even be soundproofed in loud environments where noise from machinery and forklifts may be disruptive.
Perimeter partitions with double-glazed windows allow for both soundproofing and a clear view of the warehouse, making it easy for managers to oversee operations.

Maximizing Efficiency: Tips for a Seamless Warehouse Fit-Out Process

Your Factory Fitout's offices will have floor coverings, which come in a variety of options such as carpet tiles, vinyl, and timber laminate.
Suspended ceilings in either plasterboard or drop in tiles can be found in the new offices, with thermal insulation placed on top for areas where new air conditioning is being installed.
To fully furnish the new offices, workstations, storage cupboards, meeting room tables, custom joinery, shelving systems, whiteboards, pinboards and office seating will help.
Don’t forget the installation of essential services like air conditioning, fire protection, plumbing and electrical components.
A warehouse fit-out has the potential to greatly enhance your business including adding the following.
· Designated office spaces
· Separate areas for machinery
· Restroom facilities
· Control rooms
· A reception area6
· Break rooms for employees to relax and recharge
· As well as a cafeteria and eateries on site.

Transform Your Warehouse with COMPLETE WAREHOUSE SOLUTIONS

In conclusion, achieving an efficient and functional warehouse space requires tailored solutions that cater to the unique needs of your business. At COMPLETE WAREHOUSE SOLUTIONS, we pride ourselves on delivering customized warehouse fit-outs that maximize productivity, optimize space, and enhance workflow. Whether you’re looking to redesign an existing facility or build a new one from scratch, our expert team is here to guide you every step of the way.
Let us help you create a warehouse environment that supports your operations and drives your success. Contact COMPLETE WAREHOUSE SOLUTIONS today to discuss how we can transform your warehouse space.
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