I knew homeownership would come with new issues and responsibilities but I wasn't prepared for so much so soon.
Home inspection revealed a few things like some electrical repair, some mold under the kitchen sink, evidence of rodents and disrepair in the crawlspace, and some siding that needs to be replaced - all of which we budgeted for.
But I wasn't prepared for hidden mold behind the cabinets and in the fridge, having to replace the washer and dryer right away, rodents in the wall, corroded toilet flanges, etc etc on the ever-growing list. Oh yeah and the yard that looked ok in late winter but is already overrun with every type of toxic, invasive plant known to man.
I'm already exhausted and out of "fix it" funds - even for the diy stuff. We've already spent about $25k and haven't even touched things like the siding - much less the stuff we wanted/planned.
And time will tell how much damage the rats in the wall do before we can tackle that issue.
I never had these kind of issues in our rental, so I wasn't prepared to have a barrage of issues all within the first couple months. Is this just how it is? Am I terribly unlucky? Did I buy a dud?
Really hoping we're reaching the end of the surprises.

i'm working on a novel and would like to know if anyone could tell me any improvements i could make to the first chapter and prologue
Prologue
The day had started the same way it had for the past two years. The only difference was that I was going home. The hallway was crowded with people walking to and from their classes. Everyone was crowded next to each other so the halls were making the area feel claustrophobic. All the people talking mixed with the summer heat made me feel like I was locked in a sauna. I walked with Preston to the last class we would ever have together and as usual he was smiling. I never got why he always smiled even in situations where people should be sad he still smiled. He knew what today meant for me and he tried to keep light of the situation. I kept my head down away from what was ahead of me. My mind was too clouded about returning to see my family to notice anything in front of me. I walked into another student. It felt like I had walked into a wall. I knew immediately I had walked into tree. I stumble onto the ground and the commotion around me slows down to make room for us. He turned his bulky body around and apologized profusely without saying a word even though I had walked into him. He helped me off of the ground before hurrying down the hall.
“Alexandria, are you doing okay?” Preston said he had tilted his body downward so I had to look down to look him in his eyes. The way he was standing made him look like an idiot but he didn't seem to care. The way he acted made me laugh, which caused his smile to widen.
“I'm doing fine, just got lost in my head.”
“Thinking about how you’ll leave soon,” he said
“Was it that obvious?” He was the only person I told about me being an exchange student. I came to spend high school in Newkinawa and he was the only person I ever hung out with.
“I see what you mean,” he said “Newkinawa is a beautiful place with beautiful people to live in it…myself included”
“You wish,” I say with a smile we continue walking through the hallway “I'm just not excited to go back yet”
After I say that his smile grows wider “So you will miss me after all”
“I wouldn't say that much” I responded whilst smiling.
We had made it to our last class only to see it closed with a sign labeled “Uma incident” Uma was a student known for messing with the chemistry lab and destroying school property in the process. I've never actually met her but Preston says “She's a little weird but still nice”
“Guess class is canceled for today,” Preston remarked with a smile “Wanna go out to the court till the bell rings.”
“Sure let's go” I respond
The place we ate every day was outside. It used to be a tennis court before I moved in. Now they put trees and flowers all over the place. Preston really liked the blue color of the flowers but it just never clicked for me. I look over at Preston and he's staring up at the sky. There are a number of clouds in almost enough to block the sun but it still pokes its rays through and lands on Preston's face. The clouds swim in front of the sun till they block out the sun's light. Preston faces towards me.
“I'm gonna miss you Alexandria” he says
“You know you can just call me Alex,” I replied. I start to smile again. “I'll miss you too!" He smiles toward me again as we get up to leave as the clouds start to clump together and rain slowly falls. As we're walking back to the school there's a loud tearing sound followed by screams as the ground shakes.
The ground tears itself apart as the dirt and stone erupt from the ground. The sky blackens and a pale blue light escapes the earth. Then creatures erupt from the ground in a violent ejection from the earth creating a white pillar diffusing as they reach higher in the air. Some are clawing their way out of the cracks like maggots out of a corpse. People are swept into the updraft screaming for their lives.
The creatures descend like a tidal wave and tear apart any people caught in their path. They storm out of the crack in hundreds as more cracks in the earth form. Me and Preston started running away as people were screaming behind us. A girl running next to us has her legs slashed by a creature. The monster begins to tear open her chest as she chokes on her own blood. The monster shovels her lungs and innards into its decrepit mouth. Me and Preston keep running until we're met at the entrance of the school and we catch the attention of a monster as it begins to savagely rush toward us. The monster resembles ghosts my father told me about. But this one looks monstrously horrific. It floats in the air and opens its mouth so wide it nearly replaces its entire torso; its jaws hold savage teeth each the same old gray color of its body. Its eyes glow a rotten yellow color through the dark. It stretches out its arms showing its giant hands and claws like fingers. It swipes at us leaving a giant claw mark on the door behind us but Preston ducks my body down to avoid the attack. We run around it as the monster swaps its focus to another bystander. Screaming past us. Me and Preston run into the parking lot as people scream around us. We hide next to a car.
“What the hell is happening!?” I yell to Preston. More of the creatures fly over us and swoop down to people like vultures on roadkill devouring the fleeing people.
Preston starts to breathe heavily ”we need to get out of here and someplace safer”. As we were talking one of the monster phases through the car we were hiding next to forcing us to run into the street.
“Lets go to your house till things cool down” i say to Preston through panted breaths
“Wait couldn't we head to your house instead” Preston says.
“Why would that matter your house is closer anyways” i respond
“But-” Preston is interrupted by two creatures swooping above us to grab another person. The two monsters begin to pull the person apart while he writhes in pain before having his flesh be torn in half and having his organs be devoured.
“Come on lets go!!” I say as I grab his hand and run even faster.
By the time we reach Preston's house any living person is gone. On the street are just corpses laying torn and mutilated on the roads and sidewalk. The air in the neighborhood feels cold despite the season being summer. When I walk down the street I can still hear the occasional horrific wail the monsters give off. We move closer to Preston's house and I can see him sweating. He looked more worried than before when the creatures were chasing us and he kept darting his eyes away from his home.
“Preston, are you feeling okay?” he doesn't respond to my question and keeps darting his eyes. He walks slowly behind me and as I reach for the door handle and when I touch it it feels nearly freezing. I wrap my hoodie around my hand and slowly open the door. The house is quiet so me and Preston creep further into his house. The inside is cold and damp as if we were locked in a freezer. The further we move into the house the louder a subtle chewing sound is heard.
“It sounds like rats are eating a dead cow over there” I whisper. Preston continues to stay silent behind me. We slowly walk closer towards the kitchen and the sound gets louder and louder and louder until we reach the room.
We're met with a rancid smell of vomit and blood. My blood starts to run cold and every instinct in my body is telling me to run. I can feel Preston breathing get heavier as we get closer. We turn the corner and see Preston's mom lying on the ground dead with one of the creatures hunched over slurping her intestines. The sight causes me to vomit alerting the monster to our presence. The creature turns around and its mouth turns into a mortifying grin as it flies into Preston's moms body. The corpse begins to rise and spur splashing blood over the kitchen. When the corpse stops spasming it picks itself up from the ground and with glazed over eyes it holds its intestines in its hand and gives us the same grin it did when it was outside her body. The possessed corpse lunges at me and starts to chase me around the kitchen. The body is running into the walls and cabinets spraying its blood and other loose organs around the area as I'm avoiding its assault. The corpse leans over and ejects one of its loose intestines towards me, wrapping me in it. It pulls me towards it so fast I'm flung towards the ground. The corpse limbers over to me and raises its free hand aiming for my head. The creature's deranged smile causes the corpse’s cheeks to tear apart. It places both of its bloodied and demented hands on my face and starts to press my skull into the ground. I struggle to breathe. The room starts to get dark and blood escapes my head.
Until Preston jumps on top of his mothers corpse with a kitchen knife and repeatedly stabs it in the head. The possessed body tries to shake him off but he keeps stabbing, blood gets in on his face and tears start to escape his eyes. The creature violently ejects from the corpse's mouth causing her head to nearly explode and Preston stops stabbing the body. The body falls over in a splash of blood and organs. The monster leaves phasing through the roof leaving Preston crying over his mother's body. As the blood mixes with the tears he collapses to his knees crying. I walk over and hug him as the air around us turns bitter and the chill of death leaves the room and us with it.
Chapter 1 Eclipse
It's been 2 months since the apocalypse started. We've kept ourselves alive by looting grocery stores and houses, we hide from the creatures as we have no way to fight back against them. Preston came up with the idea to call them glanter’s. He’s looking better since we left his family home but I can tell something is wrong with him that he's not telling me. Everytime I ask him about it he tells me it's no big deal. I asked him earlier today and he just told me
“don't worry about it, I'm over it” without even looking at me. Now we're walking through the street and I'm walking behind Preston, I can barely see his head past the giant bag we're both carrying on our backs we use to carry supplies. I look up at the sky and it's still pitch black except for the moon giving us any amount of light. Preston turns around to face me.
“Let's check out that house, it might have some cool stuff in it” he points to a white house to our right. The house is a two story building with steps leading to the front door. There's a generator poking out from the backyard. The driveway is empty save for a couple of dried blood stains and tire marks. It's similar to the other houses in the neighborhood except for a couple broken windows.
“Sure why not” We head over to the house and I see something shining on the side of the house in the corner of my eye. I turn my head to look at it closer but it quickly disappears before I can see it clearly.
“Probably squirrel or something” I mumble to myself. Preston walks up the stairs to the house and I walk up the steps behind him as a breeze blows past my face. Preston tries to turn the door knob but the door is locked. I start to pull out a lockpick I grabbed at the store earlier. I motion towards Preston to move out of the way as I kneel down to pick the lock. It takes me a couple of minutes to unlock the door so I walk inside the house and Preston follows behind me while closing and locking the door. The doorway of the house leads to a dark room so I take a flashlight out of my bag to illuminate the area. Were put into the living room and bookshelves are on the walls and a large TV sat in front of a large black couch with smaller chairs surrounding it. Dust is covering every surface of the room and spiderwebs litter the corners of the walls. The area smells like moth balls and there's a lack of blood anywhere nearby.
“Guess the owners got out before the Glanter’s got in, '' I say to Preston. When he doesn't respond I turn around and he's already looking further into the house. When I find him he's managed to find a flight of stairs that lead to a lower portion of the house.
“I'll check on him later,” I think to myself as I headed towards the kitchen to see if we could restock on food. I walk past a bedroom and remark on how childish it looked. The walls were painted with blue and green stripes and a bunk bed sat on the right wall. There's a chest at the foot of the bed so I walk over and lift the top off of it. The box is layered with children's toys, a multitude of dolls, bears, and figures all jut out of the box. I notice a small robot toy and inspect it in my hands.
The cold metal makes my hand shiver and the sharp body shape makes the robot bigger than my hand. There's red lining around the robot's buttons surrounded by the cold gray of the robot's “skin”. It reminds me of a toy my little brother had. My heart feels heavy as I worry about what happened to my family. If they're alive, dead, or worse…possessed. The thoughts send a chill down my spine but I push them aside for now. I put the toy in my bag and exit the bedroom.
I can see the kitchen is down the hallway so I walk down the hall and enter. The kitchen is pretty clean except for a couple of dishes in the sink and the dust. There's a table seated for 3 people in the center of the room. I start opening the cabinets in search for any food or water. There's boxes of cereal leftover on top of shelves and a mix of chip bags and cookies in neat boxes stationed in the cabinets.
“Score,” I say to myself as I begin to put the snacks into my bag. When the cabinets are empty I look inside the fridge. The inside of the fridge ran out of power so most of the food inside is rotted. There are a couple of bottles of water in the front so I shove those in my bag. There's also a bag of oranges that still seem to be healthy in the back. I grab them and toss them on the table. There's rotten sandwich meat hidden in the drawer of the fridge.it smells like a dumpster outside of a butcher shop. I wrinkle my nose at the smell. I look around the kitchen for any bread with no luck.
I continue to look through the fridge until I hear Preston scream from another room. Immediately I bolt out of the kitchen leaving my bag behind and run towards the lower part of the house. I run down the stairs and nearly trip on the steps. The stairs lead to a big room. There are posters to tv shows and movies I don't recognize. The walls are painted black and there's a bear skin rug on the floor. I notice Preston standing next to a really big TV hyperventilating. I walk over to him and ask him.
“Are you ok? What happened?”
He talks through deep breaths “I… saw a… spider.”
“What?!” I respond in confusion.
“It was really big and I had jumped at my face”
“Sure it was.” I say while laughing “Let's go upstairs there's some food in the fridge we can eat”
“Wait, I think you should check this out.” He says while pointing towards one of the walls. I grab Preston's flashlight off the floor and face it towards the wall. Hanging halfway off the wall is a large map labeled Newkiwana scavenger hunt of 76.
“I think we should take it,” Preston says “You can read a map right?”
“A little but I'm not the best at it,” I say to him “can you read a map?”
“it shouldn’t be too hard it’s mainly pictures any way I'm sure I can figure it out”
I walk over to the wall where the map is hung there are trophies covering tables and shelved in their own personal cases one of them reads “1st place 100-meter swimming competition for 1986 Zack Hemmingway” and another one reads “2nd place 100-meter swimming competition for 1989 Zack Hemmingway”
“Guess this guy really liked swimming,” Preston remarks while staring at a wall of newspaper clippings. All of them are about the same person in swimming competitions. All labeled different things like “a new record for Zack “the dolphin” Hemmingway”,
‘Zach Hemmingway our star plans for the future” all the newspapers are about this kind he has paler skin and a bulky enough build to swim pretty well. Most of the pictures have him coming out of the water in a pool, his long black hair soaked and sitting at his shoulders. Another one has him sitting at a desk over a pile of books and his hair in a knot , “vicious wipeout ends the Dolphins career”, and “ex-swim champ Zack Hemmingway found in a drunken stupor outside strip club.
“Everyone has their own hobbies I guess,” I say as I take the map off of the wall and fold it up. “Sucks what happened to Zack though” I walked over to Preston’s bag and put the rolled map in one of the pockets. I walk back up the stairs and Preston grabs his bag and follows behind me.
We make our way towards the kitchen and Preston starts looking through the fridge for anything to eat. I grab an orange from the table and throw it at his head. The fruit bounces off his head and rolls on the floor. He turns around and grabs the fruit from the floor
“Why did you throw an orange at me?”
“It's the only food we have unless you plan on eating spoiled a sandwich“ He starts to peel it while walking towards the table. We both take a seat and start to eat the oranges from the bag. He plants his feet on top of the table and bites into the fully peeled orange. I grab a water bottle from a bag and start to drink from it as Preston says.
“I saw a dvd player in that man cave downstairs we could watch a movie if it still has power”
“Sure it could be fun.” Me and Preston spend the rest of our time eating until the bag of oranges is emptied and we head back downstairs. Preston grabs the DVD player from under the table and blows the dust off the top of it; he plugs it into the wall as I plop myself onto the couch. He plugs the DVD player into the TV and sits on the recliner next to me. He presses a few buttons on the remote and the TV lights up. I squint my eyes at how bright it is. It's the most amount of light I've seen that didn't come from a flashlight. I notice there's a box filled with DVDs. I pull the box over towards me. I ruffle through the box and see movies like Silence of the Lambs, Terminator 2, and Home alone.
“Dude some of these came out just before the world turned inside out” I say to him.
“Really? Let's play one.” He responds. I toss him Terminator 2 and he puts it into the DVD player.
We spend the next couple hours watching movies and laughing together. It's some of our only moments of peace we’ve had since the end of the world and to me it's the most fun I've had yet. We're putting in the next DVD when there's a loud crash outside and the TV shuts off. Preston goes behind it to see if it's still plugged in.
“I think the generator outside is busted” i say
“It seems that way” Preston replies while backing away from the tv” i'm gonna go check it out”
“Don't worry I got it” I say as I hop out of my chair. Preston waves goodbye as I head up the stairs. I make my way back through the hallway leading to the living room and front door. I reach the door and start to turn the knob. I open the door wide as a car speeds down the street. I step out of the door to see what had happened when I hear the screech of a glanter. It cuts through the sky like an unholy opera singer. A group of them fly by and chase the car as I rush back inside the house. I slam the door shut and look through the window as I see a couple of smaller glanters grab and shake the car violently looking for the driver. They tear at it, ripping off doors and breaking the windows. The driver screams as the seats cover with blood and he's ripped out of the car as multiple smaller glanters tear and bite off parts of his body like piranha's until his body is completely devoured. I run back to the man cave to warn Preston about what had happened. I spot him laying in his chair spinning a DVD disc on his finger.
“It's not safe outside right now”
“Why not?
“There's glanter's outside, they just ate a dude in his car”
“Did they see you come inside?”
“I don't think so , they flew off before I went inside.”
“well we're not dead so I'm gonna say they didn't see you. But let's stay here for a couple more hours just to be safe”
“Sounds good i'm gonna go find the master bedroom.” I start to walk back up the stairs to the house
“ Hold on why do you get the master bedroom” Preston says while walking after me.
“Because I'm gonna find it first” I say as I start to run to find the bedroom. He chases after me in pursuit of the bedroom. Me and Preston run around the house looking for the master bedroom. We look through room after room finding closets, the garage, a bathroom and a door leading to a balcony in the back of the house. I manage to run into the bedroom and yell out to Preston.``Found it!!”
He comes walking into the room breathing heavily from the running. We both check out the room. The walls are painted a cream yellow and the bed takes up most of the room's center. The bed has burgundy sheets poking out from its bottom and a quilt with multi-colored floral designs lay sprawled out on top of it. There's a wardrobe built into the wall and a black leather couch sits comfortably on the left wall.
“Dibs on the bed” I say as I jump on top of it. I stretch out on top of the quilt and search for a comfortable part to sleep in.
“Where am I supposed to sleep then?” Preston complains
“You can sleep on the couch it looks soft enough” I respond while pointing towards the couch “I saw some spare blankets in one of the closets”
“Alright i’ll be right back” he mumbles to himself “why do i always get the couch”
“ I'll be right here if you need me,” i call after him. I sit up on the bed and start to look around the room more. I notice the entrance to the wardrobe is cracked open slightly. I hop out of the bed and grab a flashlight from my bag as I walk into the wardrobe. I turn on my flashlight and stare in awe at how many clothes are in there. The room is only half as big as the bedroom but it's still bigger than any closet I've ever had. The wardrobe is full of shirts, dresses, pants, and shoes for men and women. I immediately start to look through the shoes to see if any fit my size. I throw a pair of black high heels behind me as Preston finds me in the wardrobe. He looks around before asking me.
“What are you doing?”
“Finding a new pair of clothes to wear cause I've been wearing the same pair of jeans for waaaaay too long”
“Fair enough. Is there any guy stuff in there?”
“Yeah right there” I hook my thumb behind me to point to the other end of the closet.
“I'm sure they won't mind if we take a couple of things…they're probably dead by now anyways,” Preston says with a slight grin on his face. The way he said made me spin my head to look at him but he was already on the opposite end of the wardrobe looking at suits.
I shake away the thought and continue looking for any pair of sneakers in my size. 40 minutes pass before I walk out of the wardrobe holding a new pair of jeans and a black guns-N-roses t-shirt. I toss the clothes on top of the bed and check to see if the shower in the bathroom still works. I turn the dial and wait for a moment. The shower head chokes a little before water comes pouring out. I reach my hand under the showerhead to feel the water. The water is cold, it causes my hand to shiver when I take it out. I shake the water off and say to myself.
“Good enough” as I start to take off my old clothes and get in the shower. The cold water bounces off my skin, it sends shivers down my spine but I still get the old dirt from the last few months off of me. I step out and see a couple of dry towels hanging off of the door. I grab one and dry my body off and grab another to wrap around my head and dry my hair. I step out of the bathroom and Preston is still inside the wardrobe. I put on my new clothes while his back is turned and walk over towards him when I'm finished.
“Still haven't found anything,” I ask him
He turns around “Nothing yet, the only thing interesting was this coat.” He holds a leather coat up to me. The coat is made of black leather and has a skull covered with blue flames on the back. There's a black shirt inside the coat with a skeleton hand making a thumbs-up embroidered on the front.
“ That's pretty cool, it's better than what you're wearing right now at least” he's outfitted in a blue hoodie with holes on the chest and tears at the sleeves. He also has a shirt with a faded picture of a blue flower printed on it.
“I guess you're right” he gets up from the floor and exits the wardrobe. He lays the clothes on the couch along next to the blanket and pillow he brought into the room.
“The shower works so you can get yourself clean In there,” I say to him
“You know, a shower sounds really good right now.” He gets up from the floor and grabs a pair of pajama pants that were laying next to him. He leaves the wardrobe and enters the bathroom, closing the door behind him. After a moment the water turns on and I hop on the bed to get ready to sleep. I squirm myself into the quilt and rest my head against one of the pillows. I shut my eyes and fall asleep listening to the passive sound of the shower like rain on a car.
I'm in a void. It feels like I'm standing in a puddle of water that reaches to my knees. I wade my way forward looking around for anything in the darkness. In the distance I can see 3 figures l. I moved closer to them and their silhouettes get clearer. I realize they are my dad and brothers. I start to run towards them kicking up water behind me until something grabs my leg. It pulls down violently forcing me under the water without a breath of air. I kick at the thing grabbing me until something grabs my other leg. I look down and see two glanter's each with a monstrous smile on their faces. They stare back at me and one of them tugs my leg harder than before and tears it off of my body. The water around me turns red as the glanter laugh's. The other smiles wider as it starts to fling me around the water forcing any air left in my lungs to be forced out as I scream in pain. The glanter throws me away and I can see my family slowly fade into the distance as I'm flown away.
I struggle to swim back to where I was, one of my legs is missing and the other is broken. The glanter's find me again and I try to get to the surface to escape them. I'm flapping my arms in any attempt to escape as one of the glanter's flies in front of me and grabs my arm. I look at the monster with tears in my eyes as it bites my arm and tears my body away from it. It flings my body away and with my remaining arm I clutch the wound as the water floods into my body leaving me in the void I started in. I look around and the glanter's seem to have left. I turn behind me and see my family again, this time I'm closer than before.
I grit my teeth and drag my body towards them slowly as I leave a trail of blood and tears behind me. I finally reach my family and grab one of my father's shoes. I stare up and he looks at me. His stare causes me to feel cold as a grotesque smile grows on his face. I stare in shock as my brothers each have the same look as my father.
I shoot up from my sleep panting heavily in a cold sweat.
“It was just a dream..just a dream…just a dream” I look at my hands as tears fall into them. I look around the room and see Preston sleeping peacefully on the couch. The room feels frozen in place as a chill runs down my spine. I get out of the bed and walk out of the bedroom. I make my way through the dark hallway and find the entrance to the balcony I saw earlier. I creak open the screen door and head outside. The Balcony is pretty large, about the size of the kitchen in the house. There are some chairs knocked over next to a table and I pick one up to sit on it. I look out into the expanse of the neighborhood, houses lined up next to each other, dozens broken apart by roads, and dead bodies scattered across the roads.
I look up in the sky and sit back in the chair. The sky looks empty except for the moon giving this world its only source of light. Without the moon, we’d be left in darkness. It hangs in the sky alone, no stars, no clouds, nothing but itself, and the void of the sky. I think back about the dream I had. My dad and my brother's all dead and possessed and then they kill me. I start to tear up thinking about it. I try to wipe away the tears but it’s no use. I'm too scared for my family. I don't know where they are if they're alive if they're worried about me I don't know anything! I start to quietly cry into my hands. I don't know how long I'm sitting there until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn my head to face it and I see Preston. He was smiling and looking at me. I turn away to wipe my tears and he walks next to me.
“I heard you sneaking out of the bedroom so I followed you to see where you were going.” he says “but that's not my question.” he pauses and looks at me “my question is what’s got you feeling so down?” he leans over the railing of the balcony
“It's nothing, I just came out here to clear my head.” I say as more tears escape from my eyes in big slow drops that ride down the sides of my face.
“if you don't feel like telling me you don't have to but i'll be here if you ever change your mind”. He looks up at the moon before turning to face me and his smile widens “I'll always be here with you…trust me I'm not going anywhere”
I stare up at him and wipe away my tears as a smile grows on my face to match his. I get up and stare over the balcony with him. “So where are we heading next?” I say to him, Preston pulls the map we got from the man cave downstairs out from his pocket.
“After I got out of the shower I decided to take a look at the map for anything interesting we could see.”
“Ok did you find anything?” i ask
“I did,” he points at a spot on the right of the map. “We should head to the museum”
“I didn't want to go to a museum before the apocalypse why would i want to go now?'' I ask him.
“Well the best part of museums is the cool stuff right”
“Yeah what about it”
“The only problem is that you could only look at the fossils and armor but you could never take them.”
“So you want to rob a museum?” Prestons eyes light up at the question
“Exactly they might have a really cool sword I could use, or I could sharpen a dinosaur tooth and use that as a weapon, there might be a cursed shield that can summon the dead to fight for you. This opportunity is too good to pass up. We need to go!”
“That does seem pretty cool but wouldn't carrying that stuff weigh us down. What if a glanter is chasing us and we can't run fast enough because of the stuff we took from the museum.”
“We’ll only take things that are light. Even then I could just block the glanter with my newly acquired 2000 year old shield.”
“Fair enough we can go in a couple hours” I yawn and stretch out my arms. “Cause I'm feeling way too tired to walk all the way over there right now.”
“Alright i'm heading back to my couch and THEN we’ll head out to the museum” he leaves the balcony and heads back to the master bedroom leaving me alone on the balcony.
“Thanks Preston I'm not leaving either” I say into the sky. I turn around and walk back inside the house, closing the balcony door behind me. I walk back into the bedroom and Preston is hunched over and holding a flashlight looking at the map. He’s drawing lines through roads and marking X’s in different areas.
“What are the X’s for?” i ask him
“They’re places that glanter’s usually stay around. I'm marking them off so we remember not to go through them, or at least be more cautious.”
“Cool. Did you find where we are right now?” He points to an area where the lines all converge out of.
“Right around here is where the neighborhood ends. So if we follow this path we can make it to the museum in one piece” I pat him on the back and take the map from his hands.
“Get some sleep Preston, we have a full day tomorrow” he grins to himself before laying down on the couch. I put the map back into my bag and hop on the bed to get to sleep. I cover my body in the quilt and roll over facing away from Preston as he falls asleep. I nestle myself into the bed and slowly fall asleep to get ready for the next day.
I'm awoken by Preston shaking the bed I'm sleeping on. My eyes open and the room is foggy, I wipe away the sleep from my eyes and focus my attention towards Preston. He's practically jumping out of his skin with excitement, he's already fully dressed for the trip and shaking the bed with a wide smile on his face.
“Ok ok i'm up the air feels heavy as a groggy feeling fills my body. I wipe my eyes and the room starts to clear up. I turn to face Preston. He's still shaking my bed to wake me up, he’s already fully dressed and nearly jumping out of his skin in excitement.
“Ok ok, i'm up you can stop shaking the bed” i say
“Then get up we’ve got a long walk ahead of us” he says as he stops shaking the mattress. He grabs the map from my bag and points to one of the red lines.
“We're gonna follow this way to the museum. We’ll move past the hotel around the ice skating rink and around the park. We’ll mainly stick to walking through the streets, we might have to go rooftop hopping to avoid any glanter’s if we see them but i'm sure we won’t reach that point.” he explains
“Wait, wait, wait, why are avoiding the skating rink and the park” i ask
“ everytime we go near the park there's weird noises and light coming out of it”
“And why can't we go to the ice skating rink?”
“I didn't think it would be important”
“It couldn't hurt to check it out at least”
“Fine we could make a detour”
“Ok and how do you plan on getting on top of roofs?”
“I'm sure we'll figure it out when we get to it”
“Ok man as long as you’re sure '' I yawn and step out of the bed. Preston starts to put the map in his bag. I walk into the bathroom with my clothes and change out of my pajamas. Minutes later I walk out and see Preston sitting on the couch twiddling his thumbs.
“Finally you're out” he smiles at me before handing me my bag and slinging it over his shoulder. We took a last look inside the kitchen to see if we missed anything. Afterwards we leave for the outside. The cold air bites at my face but Preston walks down the stairs, his face buried in the map. I jog to catch up to him as we both head into the street.
“Hey Preston, could I see the map?”
“Sure” he hands over the map and continues walking. I look at the map and the numerous lines drawn on roads. I look at the corner of the map and notice a small map key with numerous symbols for different areas like a library, school, hospital, and more. There's even a way to tell how far away each location is. The text reads “1 inch=5 miles” I quickly count how far we are from the museum.
“Dude this museum is like 100 miles away.”
“Yep it'll be a long walk, it'll take us a while to get there”
“Did you plan on us walking there the whole time?”
“We might find bikes or something.” he pauses “well i did think we would walk the whole way”
“This is gonna take us weeks to get there!”
“Did you have anything else planned?”
“Well…i guess not but we should still try to find some bikes or something”
“Ok if we see any way to travel faster we’ll take it”
“Alright cool” I hand him the map back and he folds it back up and puts it in his bag. We walk further until we leave the gated neighborhood we started in. Preston takes the map back out and looks at it before he turns right and continues walking. I follow him staring forward at the expanse of the road. The outside of the neighborhood is surrounded by roads all leading to different parts of Newkinawa. We walk past a sign that reads “Coretown 20 miles ahead” I nudge Preston towards the sign and he checks the map again.
“Yep, the museum’s in Coretown. Would you believe the residents were pretty proud of it. Should be a fun place to explore” he says
“Yeah but it’ll take us a million years to get there.” i complain
“Lighten up, I'm sure it will be worth it”. We continue walking down the road slowly making our way to Coretown.

The history of tarot is a fascinating journey that spans centuries and traverses various cultures. The origins of tarot cards can be traced back to 15th-century Italy, where they emerged as playing cards. The initial purpose of these decks was purely recreational, serving as a game known as "tarocchi" or "triumphi."

1. Early Playing Cards (15th Century):
   
   • Origin: Tarot cards likely originated in northern Italy in the early 15th century. The oldest surviving complete deck is the "Visconti-Sforza" deck, dating back to the 1440s.
   • Function: Originally used for games, tarot decks were adorned with symbolic imagery, including allegorical illustrations and trump cards.
2. Tarot in France (Late 15th Century):
   
   • Migration: Tarot cards crossed into France in the late 15th century, and the game evolved with the addition of the 22 trump cards, known as the Major Arcana.
   • Symbolism: The Major Arcana introduced iconic characters and archetypal symbols, enhancing the cards' allegorical significance.
3. Occult Associations (18th Century):
   
   • Esoteric Interest: In the 18th century, interest in the occult and mystical arts surged in Europe. Tarot cards gained esoteric significance, with scholars attributing hidden meanings to the cards beyond their gaming purpose.
   • Etteilla: The French occultist Etteilla published influential tarot interpretations, contributing to the transformation of tarot into a tool for divination and self-discovery.
4. The Rider-Waite-Smith Deck (Early 20th Century):
   
   • Revolutionary Design: In 1909, A.E. Waite and Pamela Colman Smith collaborated on the Rider-Waite-Smith deck, featuring vivid illustrations and intricate symbolism. This deck became immensely popular and served as the foundation for many modern tarot decks.
   • Divinatory Focus: The Rider-Waite-Smith deck emphasized the mystical and divinatory aspects of tarot, influencing the widespread adoption of tarot for spiritual and introspective purposes.
5. Tarot in the New Age Movement (20th Century Onward):
   
   • Popularization: The mid-20th century witnessed a surge in interest in mysticism, the occult, and alternative spiritual practices. Tarot cards gained popularity within the New Age movement, becoming a tool for self-reflection, divination, and personal growth.
   • Diverse Decks: The latter half of the 20th century saw the creation of diverse tarot decks, each with unique themes and interpretations, catering to different spiritual traditions and personal preferences.
6. Modern Tarot Practices (21st Century):
   
   • Global Appeal: Tarot has transcended cultural boundaries and gained a global following. The internet has played a significant role in disseminating tarot knowledge, making it accessible to a diverse audience.
   • Integration with Psychology: Many practitioners view tarot through a psychological lens, using the cards as a tool for introspection, therapy, and personal development.

The historical evolution of tarot reflects its transformation from a simple deck of playing cards to a versatile tool for divination, self-exploration, and spiritual guidance. Today, tarot continues to captivate individuals worldwide, offering a unique blend of ancient symbolism and contemporary relevance.

1. Diverse Tarot Systems and Cultural Influences:
   
   • Cultural Adaptations: Tarot has adapted to various cultural contexts, leading to the creation of decks that draw inspiration from different mythologies, traditions, and artistic styles.
   • Themed Decks: Modern tarot enthusiasts can explore decks inspired by Norse mythology, Celtic traditions, Eastern philosophies, and more, allowing for a rich diversity of interpretations and connections.
2. Tarot and Popular Culture:
   
   • Media Exposure: Tarot has found its way into mainstream media, with references in literature, movies, and television series. This exposure has contributed to its widespread recognition and acceptance.
   • Creative Interpretations: Popular culture has inspired artists and creators to produce tarot decks with themes ranging from fantasy and science fiction to contemporary pop culture references, showcasing the adaptability of tarot symbolism.
3. Tarot in Digital Age:
   
   • Online Platforms: The digital age has transformed tarot readings, making them accessible through online platforms and mobile apps. Virtual tarot readings and communities provide a global forum for discussion and learning.
   • Digital Decks: Tarot decks are now available in digital formats, enabling users to explore and engage with the cards through virtual platforms, expanding the reach of tarot practices.
4. Tarot as a Personalized Tool:
   
   • Self-Expression: Many individuals now create their own tarot decks, infusing personal symbols, experiences, and artistic styles into the cards. This personalized approach enhances the connection between the user and the cards.
   • Intuitive Reading: Modern tarot practices often emphasize intuitive reading, encouraging users to trust their instincts and personal interpretations rather than relying strictly on traditional meanings.
5. Scientific and Skeptical Perspectives:
   
   • Psychology and Tarot: Some psychologists view tarot as a projective tool that can tap into the unconscious mind, offering insights into one's thoughts and emotions.
   • Skepticism and Tarot: Skeptics often approach tarot from a psychological or statistical standpoint, exploring the phenomenon through the lens of cognitive biases and the placebo effect.
6. Tarot Communities and Education:
   
   • Learning Resources: The availability of books, online courses, and workshops has contributed to the education and skill development of tarot practitioners. This has empowered individuals to deepen their understanding of tarot symbolism and interpretation.
   • Community Engagement: Tarot communities, both online and offline, provide platforms for sharing experiences, seeking guidance, and fostering a sense of community among practitioners.

As tarot continues to evolve, its rich history merges with contemporary influences, shaping a dynamic and diverse landscape. Whether embraced for spiritual guidance, artistic expression, or personal insight, tarot remains a versatile and enduring tool that resonates with individuals on their unique journeys of self-discovery.

1. Tarot Ethics and Professionalization:
   
   • Code of Ethics: In modern tarot practices, professional readers often adhere to ethical guidelines. These guidelines emphasize confidentiality, client empowerment, and responsible use of divination tools.
   • Certification and Training: Some tarot practitioners pursue formal training and certification programs to enhance their skills and professionalism, contributing to the recognition of tarot reading as a legitimate and ethical practice.
2. Scientific Research on Tarot:
   
   • Psychological Studies: While scientific research on tarot is limited, some studies explore the psychological aspects of tarot reading. Research has investigated how individuals interpret symbols, engage in reflective thinking, and experience a sense of empowerment through tarot readings.
   • Cognitive Science Perspectives: Tarot's intersection with cognitive science has led to examinations of how the mind processes symbolic information and the impact of belief systems on perception.
3. Tarot and Intersectionality:
   
   • Inclusivity: Tarot communities increasingly emphasize inclusivity, recognizing the importance of diverse perspectives, cultures, and identities. Decks that reflect a broader range of experiences and backgrounds contribute to a more inclusive tarot landscape.
   • Intersectional Readings: Practitioners may integrate intersectionality into their readings, acknowledging the complexity of individual identities and experiences within a broader social context.
4. Tarot's Influence on Art and Literature:
   
   • Literary Works: Tarot symbolism has inspired numerous works of literature, poetry, and art. Authors and artists often incorporate tarot themes to explore psychological, spiritual, and philosophical concepts.
   • Tarot in Visual Arts: Tarot continues to be a muse for visual artists, with contemporary artworks reimagining and interpreting the traditional tarot archetypes in new and innovative ways.
5. Tarot and Holistic Wellness:
   
   • Mind-Body-Spirit Connection: Tarot is increasingly integrated into holistic wellness practices that emphasize the interconnectedness of mind, body, and spirit. It complements approaches like meditation, mindfulness, and energy healing.
   • Wellness Retreats and Workshops: Wellness retreats and workshops may incorporate tarot as a tool for self-reflection, personal growth, and stress reduction, aligning with the broader holistic wellness movement.
6. Tarot and Technology Integration:
   
   • Mobile Apps and Online Platforms: Technology has facilitated the accessibility of tarot through mobile apps and online platforms, offering virtual readings, digital decks, and interactive tarot experiences.
   • Augmented Reality and Virtual Reality: Emerging technologies like augmented reality (AR) and virtual reality (VR) have the potential to transform tarot experiences, providing immersive and interactive readings.

The ongoing evolution of tarot reflects its adaptability to societal changes, technological advancements, and a growing understanding of its psychological and symbolic dimensions. As it continues to weave through various aspects of contemporary life, tarot remains a dynamic and versatile tool with enduring relevance.

1. Tarot and Social Media:
   
   • Online Communities: Social media platforms, such as Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube, have become hubs for tarot enthusiasts. Tarot readers share daily card pulls, interpretations, and create educational content, fostering a vibrant online community.
   • Global Connections: Social media has facilitated global connections among tarot practitioners, allowing for the exchange of diverse perspectives, interpretations, and deck recommendations.
2. Tarot in Mental Health Practices:
   
   • Therapeutic Applications: Some mental health professionals incorporate tarot into therapeutic practices, using it as a tool for self-reflection, exploration of emotions, and promoting therapeutic dialogue.
   • Mindfulness and Coping: Tarot readings can be used as a mindfulness practice, helping individuals cultivate self-awareness and coping strategies for managing stress, anxiety, and mental health challenges.
3. Tarot's Evolving Symbolism:
   
   • Living Symbolism: Tarot symbolism is not static; it evolves over time. Modern tarot decks often reinterpret traditional symbols to reflect contemporary values, ensuring that the cards remain relevant and resonant with current cultural contexts.
   • Innovative Decks: Artists continue to create innovative tarot decks that explore diverse themes, introducing new symbols and archetypes that speak to a wide range of experiences.
4. Tarot and Ritual Practices:
   
   • Ritualistic Use: Tarot is incorporated into various ritual practices, from simple daily card pulls to more elaborate ceremonies. These rituals can serve as a form of meditation, intention-setting, or connection with spiritual energies.
   • Seasonal Celebrations: Some practitioners align tarot practices with seasonal changes, using specific spreads or decks to explore themes associated with the solstices, equinoxes, and other significant astrological events.
5. Tarot and Gender Representation:
   
   • Expanding Archetypes: Modern tarot decks often challenge traditional gender roles and expand archetypal representations. Decks may feature diverse gender identities and expressions, offering a more inclusive and fluid understanding of the archetypal energies within the cards.
   • Feminist Tarot: Some decks explicitly adopt feminist perspectives, reimagining traditional tarot symbolism to empower and celebrate the diverse experiences of individuals across the gender spectrum.
6. Tarot as Literary Inspiration:
   
   • Literary Works and Tarot: Tarot continues to inspire literary works, with novels, poems, and plays incorporating tarot themes and archetypes. Authors explore the psychological and symbolic depths of tarot, infusing their narratives with mystical and esoteric elements.
   • Narrative Exploration: Tarot's narrative potential serves as a source of inspiration for storytellers, offering a structure that mirrors the hero's journey or provides a framework for exploring characters' internal and external conflicts.

The dynamic interplay between tarot and contemporary culture reveals its enduring appeal and adaptability. From social media platforms to therapeutic practices, tarot remains a versatile tool that resonates with individuals seeking insight, connection, and personal growth in an ever-changing world.
In conclusion, the history and evolution of tarot reflect its remarkable journey from humble playing cards to a multifaceted tool deeply embedded in modern culture. As tarot continues to weave its way through diverse aspects of society, from online communities to therapeutic practices, its enduring relevance lies in its adaptability, symbolism, and capacity to inspire self-discovery.
From the mysterious origins of the 15th century to its current role as a global phenomenon, tarot has transcended cultural and historical boundaries. As it integrates with technology, influences art and literature, and finds new applications in mental health and wellness, tarot remains a dynamic force that resonates with those seeking spiritual insights, artistic expression, and personal transformation.
Whether approached through a psychological lens, as a form of self-reflection, or as part of broader cultural movements, tarot's journey reflects the human quest for meaning, connection, and the exploration of the inner self. Its rich tapestry of symbolism continues to captivate individuals across the globe, making tarot a timeless and ever-evolving companion on the diverse paths of human experience.

First Previous Wiki
Penny gazed at the quartet of Elders. They were all wearing the merchandise she remembered from the last Judgment, which was exceedingly awkward. Mainly because they were wearing shirts with her face on them. But it was also oddly endearing, in a way. Until now, she hadn't seen too many Elders that were on her side.
Elders that weren't just Kashaunta or the familiar faces she already knew, like Spentha or Rho and Sai, actually showing appreciation of her, felt odd. Even if these ones went a little too far in it.
"You're even more beautiful in person, Liberator," one said.
"Uh, thanks. I appreciate that. I'm glad that you all like me. Rho and Sai told me that you all are interested in something I can give you?"
"Yeah. Maybe a short interview? We won't be like that airhead reporter. We'll ask the good questions."
"Yep, we will."
"Right then," Penny said. "Well, I'm glad to meet you."
"Thank you. Now that we're here, we'd like to know how you plan on taking care of the gang leaders."
"Well, presumably by imprisoning them. I don't think they deserve to die, even if others do. I'll leave that decision up to Justicar and his various judges in the criminal system."
Penny didn't like having to lie blatantly. She wanted to kill the slavers quite brutally, but doing that was a bad idea right now. Saying it also was a bad idea, for a similar reason. And Justicar's system was worryingly preferential to Elders, from what she'd looked up after the meeting with Pundacrawla.
"Aren't you worried that the Judges won't give proper justice?"
"I trust Justicar to do everything that is necessary."
Another lie. Justicar would do whatever he could to maintain his image. Hopefully, that wouldn't be at the cost of the Alliance's very existence.
"Got it. By the way, what's it like being human? Walking on only two legs. It seems kind of unstable. Do you fall a lot?"
A genuine curiosity from them was another breath of fresh air. It was the kind of question a quadruped would definitely ask, which put her more at ease about the nature of what they were trying to do. Even more than their evident support of her, with all the merch they were wearing. Penny felt a smile crack at the corners of her lips, unbidden.
"Not really. We can use our arms to steady ourselves pretty well. Obviously it's not as easy to balance on our two legs as it is with your four, but it's still good enough. In fact, the sprinters in the Olympics use all four limbs, since running as fast as possible also requires pumping our arms. As for what it's like to be human, it's hard to describe. For many of us, it will feel colder or warmer than Sprilnav would feel in the same temperatures, due to thinner skin. Our eyesight is more frontal than yours, given our lack of snouts, so our blindspots are a lot bigger. Our feet require shoes for rough ground, and we heal slower than you by around 20%. We can't really clack our jaws to the scale that you can, though we can make them meet."
Penny bared her teeth, showing as she opened and closed her mouth. It was nice to be able to talk about things like this.
"The Olympics?" one of them asked.
"It's a competition about athletics," Penny said. "Running, jumping, throwing, diving, swimming, skiing, snowboarding, and a lot of sports. There's specific divisions, too. Like how there's a 100 meter dash, 200 meter dash, 400 meter dash, and even an 800 meter dash for those with high levels of psychic energy. Though really, psychic energy and genetic editing have been messing with the events for a while now. And there's a Winter, Summer, and Space Olympics, each with different sorts of events. They move from city to city, though the Space Olympics are pretty much always on either Luna, Ceres, or Mercury. There's a lot more information out there on various events, but it's an old cultural practice revered by the entire species. Even more so since Phoebe's increased the prize pools for everyone."
"How does your species handle space in general? I know that you guys did things way differently before First Contact."
"We did. Mining companies kept tight control on all asteroid mining, while nations controlled planets like Earth and Mars and large planetary bodies like Luna. Supposedly, a few people planned for a cloud city on Venus, but we couldn't risk having such a vulnerable population because they'd have to rely on giant balloons to survive. That would probably be the least secure way to live, given the existence of rogue organizations and all that.
As for spaceships, most of them since we really colonized Luna come equipped with spacesuit bays, zero gravity water and food packs, oxygen tanks, emergency seats, specialized anti-micrometeorite hulls, and radiation shielding. A lot of the older military ships also were equipped with big radiators until World War Three, when it all became masses of drone warfare, with the big ships kept mainly for cargo and lanes where mass drone control was impossible.
Once the Vinarii came and we got shields, we started building big again. After all, it provided a huge number of jobs, and in the post-war economies, especially with VIs in place, a lot of people needed work. But we still go and do asteroid and moon mining, star lifting, and energy gathering. We built an orbital ring around Mercury, the closest planet to Sol, to help with all of that. It doubles as a production hub, too. Now, it's all in more systems and with a lot more friends."
"Speaking of aliens, what theory does your people have on why so many creatures resemble one another? Our jaws are adapted for hard shelled creatures, and we're told that many planets have oddly similar variations of those."
"Crabs."
She guessed what they were getting at.
It is odd, isn't it? Nilnacrawla observed.
Perhaps that is another one of the Source's whims, Penny thought.
Maybe.
A few of the Elders made exclamations of shock.
"You even have a word for them that directly translates!"
Penny chuckled. "Yeah, carcinization is a bit of a meme in the science community. But I've heard the most mainstream theories since the First Contact are that the Source itself is uncreative. It has a certain template of creatures which it largely doesn't alter, though it can take in inputs from beings close to it, perhaps even influencing them."
"Influencing them?"
"Yes. Modern depictions of wendigoes, folkloric creatures from North America, a continent on Earth, are shockingly similar to the Knowers in appearance. The internet depictions of them in particular like to emphasize canine qualities, and often show them with skulls visible directly, and with dark brown or black fur. Recent depictions, as in the past 300 years, differ from their original appearances quite significantly, with the canine characteristics in particular being enhanced.
We have sorted through all known images of these creatures and found roughly 80% similarity with the Knowers and tens of thousands of images that are literally exactly the same as Knowers. The ones we searched all came before World War Three, far before even the First Contact with the Vinarii, much less the Knowers who were entirely underground at the time due to the radiation of their home star. We believe that the Source managed to influence this facet of human culture with the actual existence of a real creature.
Other examples exist, like how the Trikkec look very similar to Komodo Dragons, Vinarii look very similar to insects known as a mantis, and the Acuarfar look exactly like insects known as wasps with the single exception of their furry snouts and green instead of yellow markings. The Sprilnav species itself shares high amounts of similarity with a fictional species known as Elites in early 2000s culture, particularly with your jaws, though you all have red skin instead of grey or brown.
The Junyli, Dreedeen, and the wanderers are the main species without high amounts of appearance in our cultures at some point. This correlates with the idea of the Source being the influencer, as their predecessors all were used to fight it. Many species of the galaxy look like parts of our culture or Earth's creatures. The proximity of these examples makes this far more suspicious than if they were across the galaxy.
But since they existed first, the only answer must be that the Source brought the influence to us first and planted the ideas in our heads. As for the ones which look like Earth creatures, all of them are old enough evolutionary branches that copying from them to Earth makes more sense. Though the references centering around the early 2000s is quite odd, it is also roughly when the internet came into wide existence, so it is also possible the Source gave the ideas a push so they would propagate, for an unknown reason. Like if it seeded the ideas that propagated across the early global network Humanity used."
"Hmm. Fascinating. We've seen evidence of the 'seeding' process among some historical nations near the galactic region of Earth before. So the Source re-uses and alters depictions of life and also life itself?"
"Maybe," Penny said. "Unless the Source is more directly tied to life than we think. There's a conceptual Death, but no conceptual Life. Isn't that odd?"
"Conceptual Life died in the Source war."
How did that really work, though? Penny asked Nilnacrawla.
Imagine a conceptual being. A few of the Progenitors, as well as Narvravarana, went up to try to harvest its power. It refused, and Narvravarana used its unique abilities to try and force the deal.
Why was your civilization like this?
Excess and greed, partly. But we couldn't really do much more expansion. Vertical expansion also had its limits if we wanted to remain relevant for the remaining lifespan of the universe. So Narvravarana, along with a few of the greatest rulers and leaders of Sprilnav society, started looking to other dimensional planes. They figured it was best not to let the problem get too much worse. Or at least, that is what they say. I believe it was to harvest more resources to use against our surrounding enemies.
You didn't have any allies? Penny asked.
At that time, all the powers of the universe were enemies. All the allies eventually merged through millions of years of normalization. We happened to get on the universal stage the earliest, so other civilizations we encountered had little choice but to surrender their independence. Some fought, others didn't, but the outcome was the same.
That seems terrible.
It was, though the other universal civilizations were no better. Some of them just exterminated all alien life they found that couldn't fight back. In that sense, the pre-war Sprilnav civilization was one of the greatest, and that's why I fought for them. Obviously, I'm biased in that regard, though.
Thanks for telling me, father.
No problem, Penny.
She refocused back on the conversation at hand.
"But a thing cannot be alive if it dies. The concept of life doesn't work that way. So maybe the Source just... took in the concept of life? Or absorbed it into whatever psychic energy really is, considering that it's responsible for all of our existence?"
"That's so crazy it might actually be true," one of the Elders said. "You're incredible, Penny."
"Uh, thanks. You're all pretty great too." Her eyes drifted to the images of herself on their clothing. She couldn't really help it.
"I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"Do you know what I'm fighting for?"
"I assume since you're asking it here, you don't just want a one word answer," an Elder said. "I would say yes, and for the liberation of the Sprilnav from the stain of slavery. Though going deeper into your history, you have also fought for other species, either in wars or just generally moving around. It does look aimless, mostly, since the galaxy's so big. But I'm sure you've got a way through that."
"In some way. Part of why I'm here isn't just about my people. It was at first, I admit that. But as I have lived here, on Justicar, for days and weeks, I've seen you less as alien. It makes it easier for sympathy and easier to break out of simple mindsets. So far, there are many problems, but there are distinct pieces. The first is that many people want to uphold slavery. I'm not sure why, but they do. It isn't profitable, and it isn't moral. Robots are cheaper in every way, and don't need food or water.
That means it's illogical or emotional. So I could try and solve the problem with violence alone, but it won't be addressing the cause, only the symptoms. I need to get to the heart of the matter. And I think it has to do with Elders' memories and the gradual woes they have accumulated going through life. I don't want to tear that away or drug them into believing they're fine. I want to find a way to outlet that productively. The second part I have identified is scale. The galaxy is enormous, and your species is incredibly numerous. I could fight planet by planet for the rest of my life, and liberation would still be difficult.
That also means I'd need a better way of doing things. Maybe an economic or political incentive. Emotional reasons will not work permanently, nor will logic, since we are in this situation. I have found several ways to address this. Sadly, since the gangs are likely monitoring this feed, I can't just outright say my strategy. All I can ask you all to do is to believe. Believe that I have a solution, and that I and those who stand with me are working on it. Believe in me because I believe in you."
None of the Elders questioned or ridiculed her words. Most of it was because they were fans of her. But one of them, an Elder named Rahautiti, had a distinct glint in his eye. Their gazes met only momentarily, but Penny could tell he knew.
And so she appeared in the mindscape, even as they concluded the interview, which would be the first of many. It was a ploy to just talk about human culture and ideals a bit more, to get it out there. Because the hivemind's theory was correct.
In the universe, ideas had power. That power could be weaponized against those who previously stood to gain. The first part of it was the image: Nova as an unbeatable bastion. Lecalicus as the Beast, a monster capable of star-crushing rage. Twilight as... whatever she did. Penny wasn't really familiar with the Progenitor's image too much, and the various names, like the Silent Night or the Smiling Darkness, were just so unbelievably edgy she cringed every time she recalled them.
But Rahautiti understood so she moved her mindscape avatar to see him.
"Hello again, Penny. I am no threat."
"I know. I'm glad that your group is led by someone as capable as you, as well as the other groups you dabble within."
"Who discovered it?"
"Phoebe. You met with Ezeonwha, and the android wanted to ensure you weren't a way for Yasihaut to kill him."
"Yeah. We did get approached about that, actually. We're supposed to kill Ezeonwha when you walk into the Judgment hall. Of course, we won't do this, and she won't be able to retaliate against us easily while there."
"Thank you for your honesty, Elder," Penny said. "It seems I'm in your debt."
"Nonsense. 2,839. That is the number of children I have had. 2,626. That is the number of children of mine which were enslaved. The remaining 213 died in unrelated incidents, with nearly half of those involving slavers killing them. I remember all of their names, and all of their faces, Penny. I want all the slavers in this universe dead."
"I cannot achieve that."
"You cannot," Rahautiti agreed. "Not with my help or even that of Kashaunta and Lecalicus. And certainly not right now. I have not lived this long to be incapable of compromise or patchwork solutions. You show great promise. I understand your aversion to killing and the circumstantial reason why you are not doing so now. I will not grow upset if you do not resume killing when the Judgment ends. Nor do I harbor a grudge against you for the speeding space entity you left outside the room to avoid uncomfortable publicity. You are incredibly young.
A sliver of a life. But you are strong, and you are mature. That sliver of your lifespan already outshines all I could do with a trillion more years, Penny. You are right in that this isn't something you can punch your way through. Trauma is part of why slavery still exists, despite it being a wholly unjust reason for the Elders to make such a sport of it. I am sure you know the story of the war, with a great hero in your head and Kashaunta at your side. My line of work is what I started to help you. Every thought about you being the Liberator, every eye that glances on you freeing slaves, helps you to gather conceptual energy. My talent happens to be great enough to sense the Pact of Blades you have, as well. If you want, I can teach you how to hide the mark on your soul and your mind."
"I would like that, yes," Penny said. "And thank you for being so reasonable. I will ask Kashaunta to protect you from what consequences come for refusing the offer on Ezeonwha."
"There are going to be attacks on him, you know. Him and your ship."
Penny felt an odd feeling in her soul. Cardi's power flared around him, and she squinted at the sky. She just barely saw a sliver of a tentacle. Most would have mistaken it for a normal speeding space entity. But here? On Justicar, with Exile obviously not being the cause?
Only one being would cause that. Fate.
Given the subject of their conversation, it was obvious what was going on.
Penny tapped Rahautiti's jaw, adding a thin mark of conceptual power so she could easily find him again. She focused on the conceptual mark she'd left on Ezeonwha. A twinge of conceptual energy came from it. It was accompanied by various impressions, like fear, pain, and acceptance.
"I have to go," Penny said. "I will be back later. Displace."
She appeared next to the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office but not next to Ezeonwha. It was carnage everywhere she looked.
"Champion!" an unknown Elder yelled. "I am Elder Na-"
Her rising fury surged, and it took all she had not to dismember him. The distant thought of the Judgment stayed her hands, though only just.
Penny's fist collided with the Elder's jaw at twice the speed of sound. A piece of his jaws flew free. Bone fragments hit the ground behind him. Hundreds of soldiers fired on her, and she slammed them to the ground with pure will. Penny tore their guns away and sent them each to pummel the Elder in front of her with as much brutality as she could. His powerful armor wasn't as capable of defense against physical attacks as it was against her psychic energy, and so he fell.
"You... cannot save him," the Elder spat. Fields of psychic suppression fell upon her, reducing her power.
"Manipulation through Determination," Penny growled. "De-"
No! Nilnacrawla said. Do not kill him! Not yet!
"What goes up will go down."
Air hardened around the Elder and accelerated rapidly.
The Elder smashed into the shield five miles above with a speed just slow enough that he wouldn't die. He fell from it and then hit it again at a more modest speed. He'd bounce on that until the Guides came to get him.
But Penny had another target. One she had to save instead of attack.
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High Judge Tassidonia awoke to the sound of explosions. He grabbed his swords, his main gun, and the personal shield he reserved for only the most dire occasions. The sky was erupting in war all around him, and buildings were already falling nearby. The spires of skyscrapers rained down upon the entrances to the Underground, crushing thousands of fleeing Sprilnav under their wide impacts.
His implant identified members of the gangs nearby, making their way to his home.
"Retribution Cycle!" Tassidonia cried. A hidden door opened, and he boarded a small hovercraft that sported a high amount of defensive and offensive technology, a gift from Justicar for dealing with all that he had related to the Judgment. Only this time, he wouldn't be on the next one. But already, the destruction was spreading.
Micro-missiles rained upon friend and foe alike. Several detonated against the layered shields. The mounted turrets on the side of his hoverbike shot lasers into the enemies his implant identified.
"Elder Tassidonia!" an Elder cried nearby. "For the crime of defying the will of-"
Tassidonia called his fury to bear. He rammed his mind into the enemy Elder, disorienting her. She reeled, about to attack, when a thick laser smashed into her chest. It pushed her against the wall, and Tassidonia kept the pressure up until her body melted. He listened to her screams impassively, occasionally sending blasts from his gun at the gangs when their members started to stray too close.
The thick red beam did its work within twenty pulses. His swords began to float beside him, keeping pace as he sped away from his home. The entire apartment complex shuddered and began to lean, its foundation being destroyed by some effect below. Tassidonia abandoned it with only minor regret. He'd known this moment would come. Everything he needed was already with him.
He linked into the Guide network, directing squadrons to attack the breaches he'd identified. Orbital strikes fell upon them in quick succession. Thick beams of light pierced through the lower planetary shields from orbital platforms, their guns honing in on Justicar's enemies. Tassidonia's implant was linked to the grid as well. So when he eyed buildings occupied with too many gang members, orbital strikes fell on them a few pulses later.
Fire and plasma rained all around him. Explosions and smoke blossomed all around him. More missiles fell from his hovercraft. A fighter ship appeared beside him, its simple stealth revealing itself to his eyes. Tassidonia waited for the pilot chamber to open, and his craft stowed itself behind him when he got in. It was fully equipped, so soon, Tassidonia was in full control of a weapon of war.
His first order of business was detecting the gangs' most fortified areas. He peppered those bases in shield-weakening mines, followed by bunker-buster missiles. Several anti-air turrets hit him, but his shields prevented them from taking him down. He dropped three high-end Butcher Androids into the fray of the largest battles.
One of the adjacent fighter wings in the separate shield sector dropped a nuke. At that moment, Tassidonia made a decision.
Whatever insanity was going on right now wasn't worth staying here on his own. He turned his ship upward, narrowly avoiding nearly fifty missiles shot from another gang fortress, which was really just the lower floors of a supermarket. Thick slabs of concrete were being set up by androids and slaves from the Underground. All he could do was watch from above and attempt to mark those that might be a problem.
Justicar's Grand Fleet was moving in, though only the carriers and their escorts were doing anything of any scale. The armies were mobilizing, and it seemed that war had finally broken out. Justicar, while isolated due to the Judgment, would have to win a war that threatened to topple his rule entirely.
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Ezeonwha woke when the walls around him shuddered.
An earthquake?
Groggily, he activated the lights in the room. Phoebe's android was charging in the wall. Her limbs swayed with the motion. The walls shuddered again, and the lights went out. Thin, tiny cracks spread in the walls, increasing his worry factors massively. His implant notified him that this wasn't a dream. Distant screams reached his ears, and he went to the window.
Hordes of Sprilnav were running on the ground, tripping over each other to escape. He heard the thump of footsteps approaching from outside. The android activated, standing up.
"Move away from the doo-"
An explosion tossed him across the room. A Sprilnav carrying some sort of mouth weapon faded into view for a moment, smoke recalibrating the stealth field. And then he was gone. Phoebe smashed into the Sprilnav, her fists pummeling the assassin faster than Ezeonwha could comprehend.
Phoebe's arms turned into swords, and she stabbed the Sprilnav at least fifty times in a single pulse. She turned to grab him, but before she reached him, a second explosion sent him flying out of the now-shattered window.
The massive skyscraper loomed large, and he saw the ground beneath it ripple. Dull thumps sounded from below, and large, circular caverns opened beneath the 102nd Visitor Welcome Office. The whole building started to list forward, and Ezeonwha frantically activated his emergency personal shield as he started falling faster and faster. A bullet hit the shield. And then a second one. Gunshots echoed out in the distance, and he saw other Sprilnav falling from broken windows in the falling skyscraper. Gunfire erupted on the streets as Guides engaged a growing army of attackers bubbling up from basements of shops and businesses.
He saw spurts of blood exit the Sprilnav nearest him, bullets tearing holes through the woman's body. Piercing screams surrounded him, a terrible chorus that reminded him of the worst wars he'd fought in. But here, his training could do nothing. She was already dead, and he knew that he was the target of this whole attack. His eyes watered, and Ezeonwha felt so powerless. So useless.
A Corrector emerged from the side of the tilting skyscraper, eyes fixed on Ezeonwha. Then he looked down. Somehow, Ezeonwha knew when the orders had been sent. He knew that it was Astipra in the distance, a jetpack on his shoulders burning a thick flame beneath him.
Astipra looked back at the building and flew toward it. Ezeonwha felt the wind rushing past the shield as pressure. Astipra, far above, vaporized falling chunks of the skyscraper with blasts from his arm cannons. He pressed back against the skyscraper, the jetpack going into overdrive. The metal bent inward, and the groaning and twisting structure continued its fall. Blasts of light from Astipra again vaporized the set of falling chunks.
"Penny," he said. It was almost a prayer, really. His desperate mind was scrambling for whatever it could get. "Please, save me!"
He didn't know if she could hear him. Logically, it was impossible. And in a battle such as this, unlikely as well. Rippling explosions erupted across the facade of the falling skyscraper as rockets struck it. More explosions bloomed as lasers from distant police vehicles, Guides, and Astipra destroyed more of the fast-flying missiles and rockets. They pounded on the world around him, a horde of madness threatening to break his brain. He could feel the wind and gravity equalize as he reached terminal velocity.
And all he could see was the world descending into war around him. The 102nd Visitor Welcome Office continued to slump and lean against Astipra's best efforts. More bullets hit Ezeonwha's personal shield, and peppered the Guides moving over to save him. Air ambulances were shot from the sky. Even small fighter crafts were shot down by powerful ground lasers. EMPs thumped, disabling all the higher functions of his implant before he could think to use it.
A much larger explosion bloomed out, and Ezeonwha followed the rocket's trail to an Elder on the ground, standing in the wreckage surrounding a sudden tunnel opening. The Elder stared at him in glee, and he lined up another shot. Two Guides fell upon the Elder, who flew up using a jetpack to cut them in half with his sword. A hard light hologram lifted a large gun, pointing at Ezeonwha as he fell.
His eyes widened. Ezeonwha did everything he could. He angled his legs and arms. He pushed at the air. He even hefted the meager psychic energy he had, struggling with all his soul to escape the death he could feel was coming to him.
Guides swarmed beyond the shield appearing, while gang soldiers died by the hundreds to carpet bombing. Personal shields sprang up to block the explosions, and the Elder had survived. A thick red laser cut one of the fighters in half from the smoke. Above him, the collapsing facade of the skyscraper consumed Astipra entirely, though large gouts of plasma and thick explosions emerged from within. He could survive if it fell upon him, but Ezonwha could not.
Penny materialized far below, closer to the field of battle. A sweeping wave of gang members began disappearing. A bullet smashed into her head and her stomach, detonating in bright explosions. A personal shield flared and disappeared. Missiles and lasers slammed into Penny by the thousands as psychic energy gathered. A constant roll of words fell from her tongue, but without his implant, they were not translated.
Missiles crumbled into dust. Lasers impacted raw space in front of Penny before bending down and back to their origins, destroying automated turrets. Bullets still hit Penny and the Guides by the thousands, firing too quickly and densely for her to entirely block. But the large ordnance from the gangs continued to work against them.
Penny looked around, confusion evident on her face. But amidst the thousands of wounded and dead Sprilnav falling from the broken windows, Ezeonwha was hidden too well.
Shattering glass could be constantly heard, and he could feel the distant screams in his soul. A bullet smashed into his personal shield again, disabling it. A pulse later, he lost feeling in his legs.
He tried to reach out to her mind, but the war in the mindscape was equally intense. Too many Elders and Guides battling it out along with various suppression artifacts made it all impossible. He could sense Penny's influence, but couldn't directly reach her.
He let out a breath, knowing it to be the final one.
I'm sorry, Penny, Ezeonwha thought.
I wish you luck in the Judgment, and I am sorry I caused this to happen to you.
Penny finally appeared in front of him, eyes wide-
Blood erupted. A searing pain in his head told him his implant had just shorted out. And in the mindscape, he saw a mental attack heading for him, its brutal power evident. He closed his eyes.

We need to save the film industry before it flatlines. As someone who’s passionately dedicated to film and aspiring to be a filmmaker, I can see the writing on the wall. While I'm currently a podcast producer, my extensive background as a successful strategic marketing consultant for over 14 years uniquely equips me to tackle what I think might be one of the most critical issues impacting the entertainment industry.
Alarm bells are definitely ringing, folks. The industry is literally on life support, fighting off several cancers that are eating it away. The obvious ones include a dramatic change in viewing habits, ticket prices that are still far too high, and piracy being more prominent than ever. But there is a much greater malignancy doing harm: outdated marketing and promotional strategies. Simply put, they are fundamentally incompatible with the modern era, and this incompatibility will only compound with time. These practices have failed to evolve alongside the rapidly changing digital and social media landscapes. While the industry is proficient at maximizing reach, there’s a profound disconnect in how these efforts resonate with audiences. Often, negative sentiments are amplified and spread more aggressively than positive ones, substantially skewing public perception even before a film reaches theaters.
To witness the real-time impact of the pernicious negative feedback loop created by film marketing and promotions, just look at the discourse surrounding filmmakers like Zack Snyder and James Gunn. These directors have become lightning rods for this vein of self-multiplying negativity, which is not exclusive to them and could devastate any project or professional within the industry. The discourse and reactionary engagements surrounding these two directors serve as the best evidence of this phenomenon. Just look at how quickly the new reveal of the Superman suit snowballed into a Matterhorn.
Yet, the problem extends beyond marketing missteps and the other aforementioned issues. The industry is also grappling with a significant decline in film quality. Modern cinema is plagued by an over-reliance on reboots and remakes, with many new films feeling more like stale repetitions than fresh explorations. This creative stagnation not only disappoints but disorients audiences seeking originality and innovation.
Compounding these issues is the heavy-handed incorporation of socio-political agendas within films, which often comes at the expense of subtlety and storytelling finesse. Films increasingly serve as platforms for preaching and proselytizing rather than narratives that organically engage and challenge audiences. No one loves clever and nuanced subtext and analogy more than I do. This shift has not only diluted the art of cinema but has also forced marketing campaigns to navigate a minefield of public sentiment, battling backlash from all sides of the socio-political spectrum.
This trifecta of flawed marketing, declining quality, and politicized content creation demands a revolutionary overhaul. The industry must fundamentally reimagine its approach to marketing films, ensuring that strategies are not only nuanced but also robustly aligned with contemporary audience behaviors. This is critical, as the foundational issue of how movies are promoted sets the stage for all other aspects of their reception. Until we establish a secure and effective platform for film promotion, free from the distortive effects of preemptive judgment and social media bias, efforts to address the quality of content will be in vain. Marketers need to urgently address these polarizing impacts, creating a safe harbor where genuine, unbiased appreciation can thrive. Only then can filmmakers and studios truly recommit to the craft of storytelling, prioritizing originality and deep audience engagement over overt agendas. This dual focus on innovative marketing and authentic content creation is essential to revitalizing the industry and restoring trust with audiences.
This issue requires thoughtful exploration, and I’d love to connect with anyone in the sub who works in film marketing and promotions to discuss real actionable solutions.

PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview

Update: Bloons TD 6 v43.0 - Update Notes!
Available now for most platforms please restart your storefront or be patient if it does not appear for you, these updates can take some time to be rolled out to every region due to how the storefronts are set up.
Update Video: https://youtu.be/97SrSDiSNfk

Key New Features

• New Event, Boss Rush!
  • We are so psyched to release this event! We have heard the many requests for more Team activities, and after testing some functionality in Quests, we are so happy to release a very different way to play as a Team. Thank you for your feedback and patience, and we truly hope you enjoy!
  • Band together with allies to defend against the powerful Boss Rush threatening your Team. With multiple Boss threats looming on the horizon, you and your Team must work together to defend nearby islands from a variety of invaders!
  • To assist in pushing back the threat players are outfitted with Relic Knowledge to leverage and a number of Revive Shields that will recover you from 0 lives! But be careful, Revives are limited and each time one is triggered the Boss will rush closer to the exit.
  • These Bosses cannot be destroyed alone, so when defending any island your goal is to deal as much damage as you possibly can before they make it past. When your Team reaches enough combined total damage the island is successfully defended and you can progress to the next island, with a new Boss to defend against!
  • Between islands some monkey types must stay behind to defend, but additional Relic Knowledge will be acquired to assist in the next challenge.
  • Defend 5 islands, each with a fast paced Boss challenge against different Bosses out of the initial 3 available: Bloonarius, Dreadbloon & Phayze. (Vortex & Lych to be coming at a later date!).
  • Immediately after defending an island, all Team members can claim the island rewards!
  • For launch we are releasing with a pure Team focus without competitive leaderboards. This allows us to review balance and get feedback from players before making changes in future updates. Boss Rush has evolved to be much bigger than the minigame-like concept it was initially planned to be and we look forward to seeing all of your Teams defend their islands together!
  • The Event Timer shows when the next Boss Rush will start - less than a day after launch.
• New Code Redemption System
  • This new system will allow us to create gift packs that can be redeemed by anyone with the code for free in-game rewards, so keep an eye out for any codes we may share (or hide…) in future!
  • Due to privacy requirements, certain platforms won’t be able to enter the codes directly in the game. Instead, you will need to visit a Ninja Kiwi website where you can log in to your LiNK account and redeem the code.

New Awesome

• New Hero Rosalia! (responds to Lia for short!)
  • Jetpack Monkey joins the team! Try out Rosalia right away in her new trial quest! Rosalia is built to be a strong ‘set and forget’ hero who also happens to work well with a techbot. The ability to swap weapon to handle her own weaknesses exists for people who wish to play her as their sole DPS, but the power of both her weapons is balanced to scale up together at a fair rate so there's no reason not to pick a preferred weapon forever, and build the rest of your towers to cover any weakness left.
  • Rosalia freely jumps around her large workshop area, attacking faster the more Bloons are nearby while swapping between a powerful single target laser & bouncing cluster grenades to deal with different threats!
  • Enhanced special attacks for the 10th shot fired on either weapon, showering Bloons in a fog of explosions, or Shocking and pushing them back with powerful Plasma blasts
  • Reduce all upgrade costs for Monkey Ace & Heli Pilot, plus one other friend!
  • Lv3 Scatter Missile ability, to clean up Bloons with a barrage of powerful stuns
  • Lv7 Hover ANYWHERE and gain the Flight Boost ability to temporarily pursue Bloons everywhere around the track and temporarily boost the flight speed of Aces & Helis
  • Lv10 Kinetic Charge ability, which sticks MOAB-class Bloons with a charge that explodes after a short duration and amplifies this explosion based on the amount of damage that hits the target before the charge explodes. Focus fire!
  • You could try this code: ROSALIAROCKS
• New Beginner Map Tinkerton
  • Explore Rosalia’s workshop and help defend it against Bloon incursion! Who knew orange juice had so many uses?
• New Quests
  • Tinkerer’s Tutorial: discover Rosalia’s strengths and weaknesses
  • A Strange Bloonomaly: Dr. Monkey wants your help investigating some unusual Bloons
• New Trophy Store Items
  • Heroes: Obyn Wolf Dance placement animation for Standard Obyn
  • Monkeys: Boomer ‘Roo pet for the Boomerang Monkey
  • Bloons: BAD Scarab skin
  • Game & UI: Boomer and ‘Roo profile banner, Distinguished Gentlemonkey avatar
• Limited Time Trophy Store Item
  • Druid of the Rainbow avatar
• New CT Team Store items
  • Icons: Battle Monkey Icon
  • Frames: Boss Rush Clouds Frame

Game Changes / Additions

• Map Editor Beach items
  • It may be getting colder in New Zealand, but we know it’s getting back to beach weather for most of you!
  • Beach water path x1
  • Areas x2
  • Stamps x3
  • Props x22
• Map Editor ‘full path’ settings to modify how entire paths work
  • Set paths to be alternating, sequential, or a specific pattern
• Map Editor ‘path node’ settings to modify small sections within a path
  • Invulnerable MOABs: MOABs will not be targetable until the next node
  • Invulnerable Bloons: Bloons will not be targetable until the next node
  • All Bloon Speed: Speed modified by a set multiplier until the next node
  • Scale Bloon: Bloons will increase in visual size until the next node
  • Scale MOAB: MOABs will increase in visual size until the next node
• FPS is no longer capped by default, instead a 60 FPS limit can be enabled from the screen resolution menu

Bug Fixes & General Changes

• Endurance Roundset used in the Phayze One quest has been extended from 100 to 205 rounds, and now has naturally spawning Camo Bloons added
• David Vs Goliath achievement now works in Boss Challenge
• Resolved a crash that could occur when logging out
• Resolved a crash that could occur when exiting out of the received accolades menu too quickly after entering
• Resolved a case in which ‘login required’ could incorrectly display on arcade builds
• Unlocking a new hero should always select that new hero
• Resolved some UI overlap issues within Map Editor
• Resolved some minor visual issues with quests forcing hero level ups
• Map Editor vfx should no longer sometimes become locked to the player’s selection and block interaction / clicking on other items
• Resolved an issue that could sometimes fail to load the ‘My Teams’ button
• Resolved an issue where tower outlines would incorrectly misalign from the tower
• Improved resolution of the default App icon
• Restarting a game in the Content Browser should no longer render that run invalid for the ‘first winner’ slot
• The ‘messages’ page is now loaded by default when interacting with the My Team button
• Income modifiers used in challenge rules should correctly apply to all sources of income

Event bug fixes

• Team island props should once again animate when interacted with
• Game should no longer crash when in the Odyssey scene as the event ends

Map Specific Fixes

• Protect the Yacht quest map’s Boss Spawn Point art has been corrected
• Protect the Yacht quest map should no longer use the #ouch odyssey statue

Tower Specific Fixes

Tack Shooter

• 5xx Inferno Ring’s fire aura is now visually disabled when VFX slider is set to 0%

Ice Monkey

• x3x Arctic Wind ice aura is now visually disabled when VFX slider is set to 0%

Glue Gunner

• x4x Glue Gunner can no longer debuff Dreadbloon in Primary Immune phase

Monkey Sub

• x5x Pre-Emptive Strike now works on Castle’s Revenge
• Resolved a crash that could occur when building a sub paragon as Vortex spawns.
• 3xx+ Monkey Sub aura no longer shrinks with the VFX slider, but is disabled at 0%

Monkey Buccaneer

• 4xx Aircraft Carrier planes now have camo restored when Polyphemus Eye is opened
• xx4 Favored Trades no longer increases the sell value of towers in CHIMPS above $0

Heli Pilot

• Swapping to Lock in Place while moving should no longer visually jam the rotation

Super Monkey

• Resolved a hypersonic automatic blink teleport attacks issue that never happened in a live build but is kinda fun to talk about, and honestly less hype than i’m making it out to sound anyway.

Hero Specific Fixes

Gwendolin

• Lv4 Gwendolin's Heat It Up buff no longer fails to apply if the attack runs out of pierce
• Resolved a buggy visual that could occur when Heat It Up attacks too fast

Etienne

• Etienne should no longer consume the ‘Box of Monkey’ Relic Knowledge

Geraldo

• Resolved a rare crash that could occur when using hotkeys
• Resolved an issue where Geraldo’s skin displayed the wrong portrait when viewing the full upgrades page

Corvus

• Resolved a crash that could occur when sold at Lv2

Platform Specific fixes

• [Vision Pro] Gentlemonkey Geraldo skin should now show on the Monkey Tray

Balance Changes

The combination of towers you are able to pass round 1 with can change quite a lot in any overall strategy, especially for more restrictive game modes, so for this update we have made an effort to open up new starter combinations with improvements to a number of initial placement towers.

Tower Balance

Dart Monkey
While we have been working to increase this niche with many new maps, Juggernaut’s functions sub-optimally for the majority of current maps in the game as the knockback doesn’t scale well without good rebound opportunities; to help with this we’re increasing their knockback force slightly with even more emphasis on the less-favored crosspath. We are slightly reducing the cost of Super Monkey Fan Club to overall improve the value of taking multiple to maintain higher uptime

• 4xx Juggernaut Knockback duration increased 0.1s > 0.15
• 402 Juggernaut Knockback to heavy targets 1.5 > 2.25
• 402 Juggernaut Knockback to light targets 3 > 4.5
• x4x Super Monkey Fan Club price reduced $8000 > 7500

Boomerang Monkey
Boomerang base price is being slightly reduced, already a decent start in many cases though this seemed enough to make slight game start changes and price it differently to other towers. The main attack for MOAB Domination has been scaled up as overall it is a good upgrade but the pierce on this main attack was previously unchanged from the T3. Glaive Lord’s main thrown attacks will now be able to bounce back again and hit the same target multiple times, this can be a very powerful effect so there is a cooldown on how frequently any single Bloon can be re-targeted.

• Boomerang Monkey price reduced $325 > 315
• xx5 Moab Domination Main projectile pierce increased 18 > 54
• 205 Moab Domination Main projectile pierce increased 27 > 81
• 5xx Glaive Lord main attack can bounce back to the same target: cooldown 0.6s

Bomb Shooter
Bloon Crush does its job locking down all movement in an area, but we feel it could see more damage to reduce the stall time without the balance really changing much. Bomb Blitz was recently refitted to a cheaper price range while proportionally keeping a similar power level for the cost, however seeing it now in this spot we feel keeping higher damage will give it the edge it needs to feel more impactful than spamming Recursives.

• 5xx Bloon Crush damage increased 12 > 24
• 502 Bloon Crush Frags damage increased 12 > 24
• 502 Bloon Crush Frags bonus damage to ceramic 12 > 0
• xx5 Bomb Blitz damage increased 3 > 5

Tack Shooter
Tack is a very powerful base tower technically, but it is unable to achieve high uptime of that potential power in many early rounds, so some base cost is moving into the cheaper xx1 and xx2 upgrades to make it easier for other towers to start alongside the tack. Additionally, while we’ve held out on this change as there are strong use cases in prior upgrades, Blade Maelstrom lacks the single target punch to last late in Modern Bloons. While it is designed as a high pierce cleanup of low tier Bloons we want to try shifting some pierce to single target damage to feel good for longer.

• Tack shooter price reduced $280 > 260
• xx1 More Tacks price increased $100 > 110
• xx2 Even More Tacks price increased $100 > 110
• x4x Blade Maelstrom damage increased 1 > 2
• x4x Blade Maelstrom pierce reduced from 200 > 100
• x5x Super Maelstrom damage unchanged
• x5x Super Maelstrom pierce reduced 500 > 300

Glue Gunner
Increased duration has limited use on upgrades that completely destroy targets anyway, so a better crosspath benefit is being added onto 401 glue puddles. Bloon Solver’s pierce is being reduced as it is over-overkill for how many Bloons you realistically see at once, but this reduction should not be noticed for most players. Glue Splatter stands out as weirdly expensive for T2, and is rarely even needed so we’re significantly cutting its price to bring it down to a more affordable range with less pierce, we hope this should make it more worth considering for splatter coverage over piercing. Now that Glue Storm is extremely good for damage type & debuff support we’re removing the bonus speed reduction that should otherwise require xx2 crosspath and lowering the duration of the Glue Storm. New Relentless Glue finally offers something quite powerful so cost is slightly increasing.

• 401 Stickier Glue allows track puddles to last +1 round
• 5xx The Bloon Solver pierce reduced 5 > 4
• x2x Glue Splatter price reduced $1450 > 970
• x2x Glue Splatter pierce buff reduced 3 > 2
• x5x Glue Storm ability ‘storm’ duration reduced 20s > 15
• x5x Glue Storm ability glue slow 75% > 50%
• 052 Glue Storm ability glue slow 90% > 75%
• xx4 Relentless Glue price increased 3000 > 3400

Sniper Monkey
Lower tier Shrapnel crosspathing balance doesn’t feel great currently, so the damage crosspath benefits at T1 & T2 are improving. Even with the high damage per shot, Cripple MOAB still has low value outside of debuff capability, we feel that these shots pack enough of a punch now that they should do a little collateral damage - so lets do it! (we’ve also increased shrapnel pierce at this tier to not tip crosspath balance too far to one side).

• 120 Shrapnel Shot damage increased from 1 > 2
• 220 Shrapnel Shot damage increased from 2 > 3
• 320 Shrapnel Shot damage unchanged (4)
• 520 Cripple MOAB’s Shrapnel Shot pierce increased from 2 > 3
• 5xx Cripple MOAB now damages Bloons around the main target
  • Radius 8
  • Pierce 10
  • Damage 28

Monkey Sub
Bloontonium Reactor’s unsubmerged damage is increasing to encourage unsubmerged possibilities. The bonus to Lead on Reactor currently doesn't apply to T5, so this bonus is being carried up and improved along with a small price reduction to Energizer as strategies using it have fallen somewhat in viability. Nautic Siege Core’s hero buff is being improved as currently this is an under-utilized part of the tower.

• 4xx Bloontonium Reactor dart & airburst damage 1 > 2
• 520 Energizer gains bonus damage to Lead +5 when submerged
• 502 Energizer price reduced $32,000 > 31,000
• Paragon Hero attack cooldown increase reduced 1.5x > 1.3
• Paragon Hero damage multiplier increased 4x > 5x

Monkey Buccaneer
While buccaneer is technically already a very good starter tower for maps that happen to have ideal spots allowing it to attack in both directions we feel this situation isn’t common enough that the tower should be priced around that expectation - this reduced cost is added back to top and bottom T3 upgrades as they do not need the buff. As the paragon has exceptionally powerful scaling mechanics as well as being a paragon that continues to produce cash the XP Unlock requirement is increasing, this increase will not affect players who have already unlocked it.

• Buccaneer price reduced $500 > 400
• 300 Destroyer price increased 2950 > 3050
• 003 Merchantman price increased 2300 > 2400
• Navarch unlock XP increased 500,000 > 750,000

Monkey Ace
Minor catchup changes to some parts have fallen out of line slightly due to balance changes for other parts of the Ace.

• x1x Exploding Pineapple attack cooldown reduced 1.7s > 1.6s
• xx5 Flying Fortress radial dart damage increased from 3 > 6

Ace - Goliath Doomship
A lot of stats shuffled around here; this should keep the power level roughly similar overall but with proportionally more of that power coming from the seeking attacks, and less from micro aiming the faster firing frontal gun.

• Seeking Radials projectile count increased 4 > 8
• Seeking Radials damage increased 200 > 300
• Seeking Radials boss bonus increased 200 > 300
• Non-seeking Radials projectile count reduced 16 > 12
• Non-seeking Radials damage increased 200 > 300
• Non-seeking Radials boss bonus increased 200 > 300
• Frontal Gun damage reduced 300 > 150
• Frontal Gun boss bonus reduced 300 > 150

Heli Pilot
Overall Comanche cleanup and stats shuffle; with the goal of improving baseline non-buffed performance and making it less demanding of Geraldo’s Pickle for high damage.

• x5x Special Poperations Marine can now be sold in CHIMPS
• xx4 Comanche Defense mini's attack rate 0.151848 > 0.228
• xx5 Comanche Commander mini heli dart damage increased 2 > 3
• xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile damage 1 > 4
• xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile pierce 80 > 60
• xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile ceramic bonus increased 1 > 2
• xx4 Comanche Defense mini's missile moab bonus removed 2 > 0
• xx5 Comanche Commander mini's missile ceramic bonus increased 1 > 10
• xx5 Comanche Commander mini's missile moab bonus removed 8 > 0

Mortar Monkey
Artillery Battery use has really exploded (!) and over the past few updates it has been sitting fairly steady in a great spot, the current power level feels good but we don’t want to create too big of a gap from the T3 yet so only a very slight cost increase. Blooncineration’s 025 crosspath currently works so much better with external buffs so we're tweaking the 205 crosspath to feel better in some situations.

• x4x Artillery Battery price increased $5500 > 5900
• 105 Blooncineration walls of fire pierce increased 25 > 36
• 205 Blooncineration walls of fire damage increased 2 > 3

Wizard Monkey
Wizard has a weaker base tower so the base cost is going down in exchange for a small price increase to the cost to value ratio for the effective Arcane Mastery. As Fireball becomes very forgotten at higher tiers and is hard to even see at Dragon’s Breath, we’re improving the crosspath and adding even more projectiles at T3 for wider explosive coverage. As Shimmer is the slowest de-camo in the game it is important that it not miss when it does trigger, so pierce is greatly increased. Wizard Lord Phoenix’s Wall of Fire hasn’t had any meaningful upgrade progression, so its damage is being increased. Magus is one of the more in-depth Paragons to use effectively so having it as one of the cheapest to unlock didn't feel right, the unlock XP requirements for this and Ninja are being swapped around.

• Wizard price reduced $375 > 325
• 3xx Arcane Mastery price increased $1300 > 1400
• xx3 Shimmer pierce increased 200 > 500
• 210 Fireball crosspathed damage increased 1 > 2
• x3x Dragon's Breath fireball projectile count increased 1 > 3
• x3x Dragon's Breath fireball damage reduced 9 > 3
• x3x Dragon's Breath pierce reduced 4 > 3
• x5x Wizard Lord Phoenix wall of fire attack damage 3 > 5
• x5x Dragon's Breath fireball damage reduced from 27 > 9
• Wizard Paragon unlock cost increased from 500,000 > 1,000,000

Super Monkey
Super Monkey projectiles already travel most the map length so that total distance is being reduced and adding back via the range-focused middle crosspath. The recent Robo/Tech Terror nerfs had a larger impact on the Anti-Bloon, so it is seeing a larger compensatory price reduction. Legend of the Night’s special passive ability is being failsafe limited to 2 activations per round, per tower.

• Supermonkey projectile speed reduced 280 > 200
• x2x Epic Range projectile speed bonus 25% > 75% (remains 350)
• x5x The Anti-Bloon upgrade cost reduced from $80,000 > 70,000
• xx5 Legend of the Night ability max uses per round: 2

Ninja Monkey
While a great early game option, Ninja generally struggles with dominant crosspathing choices and also has relatively poor base tower value. Without going into every single change, T3s onward remain relatively unchanged with a lot of prices below T3 being moved around from less favorable crosspaths into bettehigher tier upgrades. Ninja Paragon is very simple to use so unlock XP requirements for this and Wizard Paragon are swapping around so Ninja is the faster unlock. This increase will not affect players who have already unlocked it.

• Ninja Monkey price reduced $500 > 400
• Ninja Monkey attack cooldown reduced from 0.7 > 0.62
• 1xx Ninja Monkey attack cooldown reduced 38% > 30 (all attacks)
• xx2 Caltrops attack cooldown reduced 4.4 > 3.9
• xx4 Sticky Bomb attack cooldown reduced 5 > 4.5
• 1xx Ninja Discipline price increased $300 > 350
• 3xx Double Shot price increased $850 > 900
• x1x Distraction price reduced $350 > 250
• x2x Counter Espionage price reduced $500 > 400
• x3x Shinobi Tactics price increased $900 > 1200
• xx1 Seeking Shuriken price increased $250 > 300
• xx2 Caltrops price increased $400 > 450
• Ninja Paragon unlock cost reduced 1,000,000 > 500,000

Druid
Passive life generation is being removed in favor of the active ability being the only source of life generation, this allows druid-focus strategies to no longer ‘accidentally’ heal their Vengeance buffs away. Heart of Vengeance itself has been allowed to remain overpowered for a long time since life loss is not always an option in different challenges/modes, but with newer competitive modes being added over time that do allow for this mechanic to be, overindulged, shall we say, it feels due for substantial rebalance.

• x4x Jungle's Bounty now generates 1 life per ability cast
• x4x Jungle's Bounty no longer passively generates 1 life per round
• x5x Spirit of the Forest no longer passively generates lives per round
• xx2 Heart of Vengeance lost lives maximum rate bonus reduced 100% > 50

Banana Farm
Monkey Wall Street’s cost is being increased, but in return its special bonuses have been improved with more life generation and much more range for Banana collection.

• xx5 Monkey Wall Street price increased $60,000 > 70,000
• xx5 Monkey Wall Street range increased 60 > 75
• xx5 Monkey Wall Street lives per round increased 10 > 15

Spike Factory
Spike Storm is now exceptionally strong so the ability cooldown is increasing a small amount along with the T5 cost. This comes along with a crosspath rebalance granting more 042 lifespan. Long Life Spikes can start creating a nice buildup of spikes in advance but most of the time feels fairly meh as a stepping stone into Deadly Spikes, a little price here is being shifted up to improve standalone upgrade value.

• x4x Spike Storm cooldown increased 45s > 50
• x4x Spike Storm ability spikes minimum duration reduced 10s > 9
• x4x Spike Storm ability spikes maximum duration reduced 13s > 11
• 041 Spike Storm duration bonus for ability spikes increased 50% > 100%
• x5x Spike Storm ability spikes duration remains at 18-22s
• x5x Carpet of Spikes price increased $40,000 > 42,000
• xx3 Long Life Spikes price reduced $1400 > 1300
• xx4 Deadly Spikes price increased $3500 > 3600

Monkey Village
Primary Expertise’s own attack is unreliable due partly to low bounce distance, so this is being increased. Base level Monkeyopolis continues to over perform, so the baseline cash generation is reducing.

• 5xx Primary Expertise bounce distance increased 50 > 90
• xx5 Monkeyopolis base cash amount reduced $1250 > 1000

Engineer
While better than many options, base Engineer still takes a lot of available starting cash so the cost is reduced slightly and being moved back up into Cleansing Foam & Bloontrap; also with a reduction to Double Gun’s price to reflect the lower value of the base tower. Sentry placements are slightly changing to improve their reliability, and will now spawn closer to the track depending on how much range the sentry has. Sentry Champion, while strong with them, is lacking without high buff support so we’re trying out an increase to the sentry damage on it.

• Engineer price reduced $400 > 350
• 1xx Sentries now spawn within 20% of their range to the track
• 5xx Sentry Champagne damage increased from 2 > 3
• x3x Cleansing Foam price increased $850 > 900
• x4x Overclock foam pierce 10 > 15
• xx3 Double Gun price reduced $500 > 450
• xx4 Bloontrap price increased $3500 > 3600

Beast Handler
In going over our large list of price changes for Beast Handler’s lower tiers in 42 this change was received very positively, however we did not realize that in making this change we killed off all chance of dual-beast handlers being used as a round 1 starting option for under $650 in hard modes – So we gotta do that math all over again and convert it for difficulty, painful 😀 All T1 beast prices changed to allow 110 & 101 beast handler combos to be placed for under $650 in hard mode, all T2 & T3 prices shifted around to keep these same cost ratios.

• 1xx Piranha price reduced 170 > 160
• 2xx Barracutie price reduced 850 > 810
• 3xx Great White price reduced 2075 > 2010
• x1x Microraptor price reduced 195 > 175
• x2x Adasaurus price reduced 890 > 830
• x3x Velociraptor price reduced 2170 > 2065
• xx1 Gyrfalcon price reduced 210 > 190
• xx2 Horned Owl price reduced 940 > 860
• xx3 Golden Eagle price reduced 3150 > 2120

Orca is very strong currently but Great White doesn’t do so much outside of max merge MOAB Takedowns, so damage is increasing to improve these non-maxed situations.

• 3xx Great White damage increased from 8 > 12
• 3xx Great White damage range increased from 16 > 24

Similar to Sentries, Beast spawn placement will now scale closer to the track based on how much range the beast has.

• 1xx Piranha now spawn within 20% of their range to the track
• x1x Microraptor now spawn within 30% of their range to the track

Golden Eagle has stood out more than Condor against MOABs which has felt very wrong, last update it was nerfed against MOABs and now we are playing with the pierce & penalties to improve Golden Eagle further against non-MOAB-Class targets and for Condor more help with lower MOABs.

• xx3 Golden Eagle pierce increased from 15 > 30
• xx3 Golden Eagle pierce range increased from 30 > 60
• xx3 Golden Eagle MOAB pierce penalty increased from 44 > 1089
• xx3 Golden Eagle attack cooldown range from 0.28679625 > 0.28
• xx4 Condor Unchanged by any above changes
• xx4 Giant Condor ceramic penalty reduced from 1 > 0
• xx4 Giant Condor BFB penalty reduced from 44 > 29

We’re slightly reducing beast reposition cooldown as the tiny range leaves movement very tight, which is especially painful for Microraptor path given the low range.

• Beast Handler move cooldown reduced from 3s > 2

Hero Balance

Quincy
Quincy’s Rapid Shot starts with an extremely short duration that slowly increases over levels, the difference between min and max is huge but it doesn’t feel too impactfully increased at any point through the leveling up process, so we are increasing the base duration and instead moving the buff up to max duration all into his Lv13 which currently doesn’t do much.

• Quincy no longer gains 0.5s Rapid Shot duration per level
• Lv3 Rapid Shot duration increased 3.5s > 8
• Lv13 now also increases Rapid Shot duration 8.5s > 12

Gwendolin
Gwendolin’s Heat it Up was recently reworked to allow for much more frequent triggering from attacks, however the 4.5s internal cooldown still limits it from being scaled up far so that internal cooldown is now also being reduced. Additionally, Heat it Up’s bonus buff to damage against Lead targets has been improved slightly so we can get more out of that niche.

• Lv4 Heat it Up minimum delay reduced from 4.5s > 1.5s
• Lv17 Heat it Up buff to Lead type increased from +1 > 2

Obyn Greenfoot
Obyn isn’t necessarily the best support for every type of Druid to reach its highest DPS, but with his more easy reliable design it feels appropriate for him to solve Druid’s biggest weaknesses in a more laid back approach with:

• Lv8 ‘Nature’s Wrath’ additionally grants camo detection to Druids in radius

Benjamin
Benjamin’s Cyber Security and Skimming levels have been swapped around so that the early game skimming cash snowball doesn’t come quite so soon, and Cyber Security can come in earlier where it will make a bigger impact proportionally to the lives being lost.

• Swap the levels for Lv6 Cyber Security and Lv4 skimming

Admiral Brickell
We’ll probably regret this, but the nerf made people very sad, and that is not a life goal 😢

• Lv18 Mega Mine cooldown 45s > 40

Etienne
Etienne's drones are prone to missing due to very low projectile speed, this speed is increasing a fair amount to help with this as drones already have an inability to directionally aim well.

• Lv1 Faster projectile speed for all drones 150 > 250

Psi
Purple Popping is underwhelming with how late it comes online, so this is swapping around with level 11’s slightly faster pop speed.

• Lv11 (Faster Popping) & Lv13 (Purple Popping) swapped

Geraldo
Geraldo has been far too powerful for a while and all-round nerfs are coming to many outstanding aspects, however in return a little quality of life is coming with some more forgiving stock capacities and much more flexible Fertilizer; with the % benefit being reduced in return for improved replenish rate, maximum stock and the ability to now work on all Banana Farm types.

• Lv2 Action Figure price reduced $700 > 650
• Lv6 Worn Cape restock rate reduced 5 > 7
• Lv6 Worn Cape cape max stock increased 2 > 3
• Lv7 Blade Trap max stock increased 3 > 4
• Lv9 Fertilizer cash bonus reduced 25% > 20
• Lv9 Fertilizer max stock increased 2 > 4
• Lv9 Fertilizer rounds to replenish reduced 5 > 3
• Lv9 Fertilizer will now work on all Banana Farms
• Lv13 Shooty Turret v2 damage reduced 7 > 6
• Lv8 Gerry’s Fire duration reduced 10r > 5
• Lv16 Gerry’s Fire v2 duration remains 10r
• Lv11 Jar of Pickles bonus to fortified removed 1 > 0
• Lv16 Jar of Pickles bonus to fortified reduced 2 > 1

Corvus
As Corvus’s power is still considerably top-heavy the mid game performance is being improved with buffs to underused spells, but also top-end power of his 2 most powerful level 20 spells is being reduced to lessen the pressure to ‘need’ to get this far.

• Lv1 Spear pierce increased from 3 > 4
• Lv3 Soul harvest cooldown 35s > 40s
• Lv5 Aggression initial mana cost 80 > 50
• Lv7 Malevolence tick rate 0.5s > 0.3s
• Lv14 Malevolence damage 3 > 5
• Lv20 Might damage 400 > 300
• Lv20 Overload damage 4000 > 3000

Relics
Minor tweaks to Heartless which feels it has no competitive edge over most other Relics & Monkey Boost which overperforms on all available tiles.

• Heartless now ‘disables’ Regrow Bloons: Regrow rate increased 150% > 10,050%
• Monkey Boost granted uses of the Monkey Boost power reduced 3 > 2

Some Relics required more functional changes. As more range is situational and sometimes detrimental Going the Distance has been merged with Durable Shots to also grant increased Lifespan, Durable Shots now instead increases the pierce of all towers. As ‘Popping White Bloons’ is also far too situational Deep Heat now also grants Frozen Bloon popping and improves the duration of Freezes.

• Going the Distance now also provides Lifespan +30%
• Durable Shots no longer grants increased lifespan
• Durable Shots now grants towers increased pierce +25%
• Deep Heat now also allows all attacks to pop 'Frozen'
• Deep Heat now also grants Freezes longer duration +10%
• Deep Heat now also allows Freezes to last extra layers +1

Boss Bloons
Bloonarius
This is really just for fun, bringing increased variety of Bleed Bloons from higher tier Bloonarius

• Elite Tier 4: Bleed Bloons from 12 MOABs > 8 MOABs + 2 BFBs
• Elite Tier 5: Bleed Bloons from 8 DDTs > 6 DDTs + 2 fort ZOMGs

Dreadbloon
Rock Bloons in the higher tiers of Normal Dreadbloon are very outscaled, and so their health values are being increased.

• Normal Tier 4: Rock Bloon HP increased 5000 > 9000
• Normal Tier 5: Rock Bloon HP increased 12000 > 22500

Phayze
In Elite mode Phayze’s speed bonus while shielded is being reduced by 5% across the board as it felt just a little too quick.

• Elite Tier 1 shielded speed bonus reduced from 50% > 45%
• Elite Tier 2 shielded speed bonus reduced from 55% > 50%
• Elite Tier 3 shielded speed bonus reduced from 60% > 55%
• Elite Tier 4 shielded speed bonus reduced from 65% > 60%
• Elite Tier 5 shielded speed bonus reduced from 70% > 65%

Hey there! I'm glad you could make it. We've been looking for someone to watch our house while we're out on Vacation for a while now, and you were Available! We've been having these strange encounters where our stuff gets misplaced occasionally..It happens everywhere in our house. I'll write a list of instructions on how you can Surviv- err..Protect our house.
My Room
(1) My room should be the first door to the LEFT upon entering the hallway. In the inside, There should be a light brown desk on the left side of the wall, a Black desk with a white computer on the wall behind you, A black bed on the wall to the right of you, and a TV hoisted on the wall to the left of you. It should be turned off. If anything, and I mean ANYTHING looks off (e.g Extra furniture, different colored furniture, misplaced objects, etc.), close the door and open it until it looks EXACTLY like it was described.
(1a) I WOULD describe the objects in my room, but that'll take too much time. I'll leave it as a separate note for later.
(2) I highly recommend sleeping in my room, because those creatures are the most tame there. But, whatever you do, DON'T look under my bed. He doesn't like it when people look at him...except me, I'm cool with that guy. My blinds have a large hole in it, so I suggest you put something over it, like a pillow, so that creepy person outside doesn't start peeping at you. There's also these people in the screens, and they come out at random. All I got to say is, just turn off the computer or the TV if it starts showing static.
That's all for my room at the moment, now we're going to my Brothers' room.
(3) Their rooms are at the END of the hallway. Inside, there are two beds opposite from each other, ONE TV hoisted up at the wall in front of you, an Xbox series S on the floor in front of you, a business chair in front of you, and a clothes basket behind you. And if anything looks off, refer to the last sentence in Rule 1.
(4) The Xbox HAS to be turned off, because they hate bright lights. Failure to do so, and I hope you could live without your eyes. :D
Secondary Family
There should be 7 people in the house with you, they are considered the "Secondary Family" when we're gone. They're actually pretty chill if you don't mess with them. I'll describe them.
Secondary Mother
(5) The Secondary Mother Isn't fond of strangers, and she usually resides in the Den (the room to your right when you enter the house.) She's the most aggressive out of the 7. When she's NOT in the Den, however, she might either be with the Secondary Father, or she might be following you. She'll appear in the bathroom, or might be searching our rooms for something. Just don't acknowledge her existence, and you'll be A-okay!
(6) She might call you to do something for her. That's the only time she'll not attack you. When she does, go ahead and fufill that request, no matter how simple it may be. She doesn't like it when you slack off.
(7) The Secondary Mother is a clean freak, and she likes things spotless. All you have to to is clean up after yourself, Clean up our rooms, and that'll be all for the Secondary Mother!
Secondary Father
The Secondary Father is the most chillest person you'll ever know! He's the most understanding out of the Family, so there isn't a lot of requirements to not get killed by him, but I'll list the most crucial ones.
(8) He'll sometimes be coughing VERY badly. No matter how painful it sounds, DON'T check on him. Because half the time, it's only a trap. And he'll take you to SM so she could kill you.
(9) He'll also be in the Den with SM. there should be curtains obscuring the view from the Living Room and the Den. If they're closed, just..don't go in there. Even I don't know what wacky shenanigans they got going on in there..
(10) He knows the secrets of this house, a Lot of secrets. If you feel uneasy, or you think something's off, Call SF, and he'll take care of it.
(11) The house may warp in on itself from time to time, shifting the appearance of the interior. Strangest thing I saw was that the hallway was made out of flesh. Living breathing flesh. So basically, when the Interior looks off, call SF, and he'll fix it. It can be the most miniscule thing as the rooms were swapped around, Or there would be extra doors leading to nowhere.
(This is all I have right now, and I might continue this on a different post. This is also my first Ruleshorror post, and criticism is appreciated!)

It's essential to focus on continual improvement and resilience. Many successful authors faced rejection before achieving success. J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series, received numerous rejections initially. Stephen King's first novel was rejected dozens of times. Agatha Christie, Dr. Seuss, and Margaret Mitchell all encountered rejection before finding success. Remember, rejection is a part of the journey, and perseverance in honing your craft is key. Focus on refining your writing, seeking feedback, and staying persistent in your pursuit.
Here are a few strategies to help navigate the journey as a writer:

1. Persistency: Keep writing and submitting your work. Each rejection can provide valuable lessons and insights into improving your writing. Don't let setbacks deter you from continuing to create.
   
2. Feedback and Improvement: Seek feedback from peers, writing groups, or mentors. Constructive criticism can help identify areas for improvement and guide your growth as a writer.
   
3. Diversify Submissions: Consider submitting your work to various publishers, agents, or literary magazines. Sometimes, a rejection from one might not reflect the response you'll receive from another.
   
4. Stay Motivated: Surround yourself with inspiration. Read books, attend writing workshops, or engage with other creatives to stay motivated and connected within the writing community.
   
5. Self-Care: Take care of your mental and emotional well-being. Rejections can be tough, so it's crucial to practice self-compassion and maintain a healthy perspective on your writing journey.
   

Remember, many renowned authors faced rejection before achieving success. Your persistence, dedication to improvement, and belief in your craft are vital elements that can lead you toward success as a writer.
6Here are a few more tips to help maintain motivation and progress as a writer:

1. Set Realistic Goals: Establish achievable writing goals. Whether it's a daily word count, finishing a chapter, or completing a manuscript by a specific deadline, setting realistic targets can keep you focused and motivated.
   
2. Embrace Revisions: Recognize that writing is rewriting. Embrace the revision process as an opportunity to polish your work. Revisions often lead to stronger storytelling and better-crafted prose.
   
3. Connect with the Writing Community: Engage with other writers through social media, forums, or local writing groups. Networking can provide support, encouragement, and valuable insights into the publishing industry.
   
4. Learn from Rejections: Instead of viewing rejections as failures, consider them as stepping stones toward success. Analyze feedback, if available, and use it constructively to refine your writing.
   
5. Believe in Your Voice: Each writer has a unique voice. Embrace your style and perspective. Authenticity in storytelling often resonates with readers.
   

Lastly, remember that every successful author faced challenges and setbacks along their journey. It's the perseverance, commitment to improvement, and belief in their work that helped them overcome rejection and achieve success. Keep writing, stay resilient, and believe in your potential as a writer.
Here are quotes from some well-known authors who faced rejection before finding success:

1. J.K. Rowling (Author of Harry Potter series):
   

   "Failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. I stopped pretending to myself that I was anything other than what I was, and began to direct all my energy into finishing the only work that mattered to me."
   

2. Stephen King (Author of numerous bestsellers):
   

   "By the time I was fourteen the nail in my wall would no longer support the weight of the rejection slips impaled upon it. I replaced the nail with a spike and kept on writing."
   

3. Agatha Christie (Renowned mystery novelist):
   

   "I don't think necessity is the mother of invention. Invention, in my opinion, arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness - to save oneself trouble."
   

4. Dr. Seuss (Author of beloved children's books):
   

   "I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope."
   

5. Margaret Mitchell (Author of "Gone with the Wind"):
   

   "Life's under no obligation to give us what we expect. We take what we get and are thankful it's no worse than it is."
   

These authors encountered rejection and setbacks on their paths to success but persisted in their writing endeavors, ultimately achieving acclaim for their work. Their quotes reflect their resilience, determination, and belief in their craft despite facing initial rejection.
Here are a few more quotes from authors who experienced rejection before achieving success:

1. Louisa May Alcott (Author of "Little Women"):
   

   "I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship."
   

2. George Orwell (Author of "1984" and "Animal Farm"):
   

   "Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand."
   

3. John Grisham (Bestselling author of legal thrillers):
   

   "I faced rejection and constant criticism, but I never let up. I continued to persevere and pursued my writing passion."
   

4. Madeleine L'Engle (Author of "A Wrinkle in Time"):
   

   "You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children."
   

5. Ray Bradbury (Author of "Fahrenheit 451"):
   

   "You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you."
   

These authors persisted through rejection, adversity, and doubts, yet remained dedicated to their writing. Their words reflect the perseverance, passion, and determination that ultimately led them to success in the literary world.
💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫💫🐔🐔🐔🐔 So in handling rejection as a writer and finding inspiration from authors who faced rejection before achieving success, this article has provided:

1. Strategies to stay motivated and improve as a writer, including persistence, seeking feedback, diversifying submissions, staying motivated, and practicing self-care.
2. Additional tips like setting goals, embracing revisions, connecting with the writing community, learning from rejections, and embracing your unique voice.
3. Quotes from various renowned authors such as J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, Agatha Christie, Dr. Seuss, Margaret Mitchell, Louisa May Alcott, George Orwell, John Grisham, Madeleine L'Engle, and Ray Bradbury. These quotes highlight their resilience, determination, and belief in their craft despite facing rejection, ultimately leading to their success as authors.

The overarching message is to persist in writing, seek improvement, learn from setbacks, stay connected with the writing community, and believe in your unique voice as a writer, drawing inspiration from the experiences of successful authors who overcame rejection on their paths to success.

• Facebook Likes: Decreased by 20% • Instagram Likes: Decreased by 10% • Twitter Likes: Decreased by 16.67% • YouTube Views: Decreased by 10% • Facebook Comments: Decreased by 10% • Instagram Comments: Decreased by 10% • Twitter Comments: Decreased by 16.67% • YouTube Comments: Decreased by 10% • Facebook Shares: Decreased by 13.33% • Instagram Shares: Decreased by 10% • Twitter Retweets: Decreased by 10% • YouTube Completion Rate: Decreased by 6.67% • Follower Growth: Decreased by 10% 

• Engagement metrics across all platforms show a consistent decrease following Tilian’s departure. • The most significant drops were seen in Facebook Likes and Twitter engagement (likes and comments). • The overall follower growth also declined by 10%, indicating a slower rate of attracting new followers post-departure. 

so i've got 2 things i've been doing lately to try and make some extra money
the first is posting tik toks, about 3-5 tik toks per day. i have a reddit stories account, so i basically post stories from reddit on tik tok. i have an affiliate link in my bio, i get about 200-400 views per video. zero people have bought anything from me, even though it's possible that they can. i have 49 followers and need 10,000 followers to get into the creator program, at which point i can get paid for how many views my videos get. so yeah at 49 followers i'm pretty much at 0% of the way there. if i were to focus on tik tok, i would just keep posting tik toks every day. the cost for me to maintain this is about $100 a month. it's hard to predict if anyone will ever use my affiliate link and buy something, so i don't know what could happen. no one has bought anything ever and i've posted maybe 20-30+ tik toks now. maybe if i'm absolutely lucky i can make 1 sale per month, which would be $25 in revenue. i could also blow up within the month if 1 of my tik toks goes viral, but that is like winning the lottery basically. i also don't know if tik tok will get banned soon due to the circulating news, so this could just be a dead end
the second is focusing on upwork. i have an upwork account where i am basically a facebook ads expert. the key here though is that i actually suck shit at producing profitable results with facebook ads. i pretty much just know the basics and some twists and knowledge i've picked up on my own from running ads for myself for years (most of the ads i've ran have been unprofitable for myself, but i did have some times where i was profiting). on my upwork account i've completed 2 jobs, these are 2 clients that i helped years ago. my total earnings from these jobs is a little over $300 earned. to focus on upwork all i would do is apply for like 2-3 jobs per day and hope someone hires me. if i'm lucky, i could get 1 or 2 jobs per month, which would make me probably like $100-200 a month to start. when i factor in the amount i would pay for connects to even apply for jobs in the first place, i'd probably profit maybe like $50 a month
so yeah, given those 2 options, which should i focus on?
it sucks that the only way to make money online is doing bottom of the barrel shit like this, just to earn 1 dollar
but that's how it is, pretty lame and unsatisfying

I live in Chicago in an older building. When we were first viewing the apartment, we were informed that currently, there is a hole in the wall in the closet that connects to another room that will have central AC installed for the common areas in the building. They told us the plan was to install a door into the main hallway from the AC room, then fill in the hole in the closet.
A few months into our lease, and the AC is being installed. We're now being told that because the wall in the hallway is 100+ years old, it would cost too much to install a door. They now want to install a door in our unit that would cut off the closet from our unit entirely. It would be locked with only access given to maintenance and us. We don't feel comfortable giving access to our closet to maintenance workers, so we would consider that closet gone and not acceptable for storage.
In our opinion, we're losing an entire closet and our unit would be smaller. We asked for a rent decrease, and they said they would ask "the board" and get back to us. We've now been told that someone is coming in tomorrow to look at how much it would cost to install the door in our unit without giving us a response. They seem to be doing this without our consent. Do we have any rights here? Sort of unrelated but they have already been violating the RLTO by opening our door while we are home to look at the AC room (without notice).

I was not intending to make this into a series of posts, but through the discussions on the first one, it dawned on me that there is a major roadblock preventing the general public from understanding Terrence's point of view, even for those that are able to suspend their disbelief to consider his unintuitive ideas in earnest.
Namely, what exactly is Terrence fighting against?
What is the nature of his battle? Who are his opponents?
As Sun Tzu has said in The Art of War:
"Know thyself, know thy enemies, and you will not fear the results of a hundred battles.
Know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.
Know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle."
Without understanding what Terrence is fighting against, it is then impossible to understand what he is fighting FOR.
If humanity cannot understand neither what Terrence is fighting for, nor what he is fighting against, then the outcome of this battle is surely not going to be in favor of humanity.
Thus, this post is less about illustrating Terrence Howard's position, instead, I will focus on what he is battling against.
And no, despite this being the Conspiracy sub, I am not talking about the Deepstate, or Alpha Draconians, or archons, or anything like that.
In this battle of ideas, where humanity's fundamental understanding of the universe hangs in the balance, Terrence is fighting against none other than the blatant logical fallacies underpinning the current theoretical models of all major fields of science. These logical fallacies are hidden behind complex equations and theoretical models, their traces further obfuscated by the invention of new concepts based on circular reasoning that revolves around the logically false axioms themselves.
In consideration of the length of the post, I will just go over one example today. Stay tuned for more as there are many such fallacies I wish to discuss with you all in future posts.
Hopefully by then we'd be able to better understand what Terrence Howard is battling against. Finally, it is my intention to pitch Terrence's theoretical model against current theoretical models in all the major fields of science, as he claims his unified model works universally, from the Micro, to the Macro, and that current models of Chemistry, physics, Astrophysics, Quantum Mechanics, and Biology, are ubiquitously wrong.
They are wrong, for the simple reason that the "Sciences" has been broken down into all the different fields of studies, sillo of information resulted in different fields each coming up with different theories to reconcile the theoretical models in their respective field with what is observed in reality. As each field gradually develop and diverge in sillos, it gradually becomes difficult, if not impossible, to reconcile all of the theoretical models back into a "Theory of Everything" that can explain all phenomon in the Universe.
The Universe is not divided into fields of sciences, but rather has one universal "Logic" (quite literally, a universal Logic!), and our "Sciences" has only but one goal, and that is to understand this "Logic". However, in our pursuit of this grand truth, we had separated our understanding into fractals of truths, each describing an aspect of reality, but we can only go so far without realizing that the fractals of truths are all pieces of the one universal Logic and are bound to be imperfect by themselves.
Perhaps to understand this Universal Logic, humanity must first go through the division of sciences, multiplication of ideas, and only through the separation and eventual with the unification of these various fields of study, can our understanding finally reach the Universal Logic, and return to the source of all phenomenon. The "Theory of Everything". The Tao itself.
In this sense, mankind's way of making sense of the universe, is almost poetically identical to the way the universe operates under the model of a Toroidal Universe, which Terrence Howard also subscribes to.
It reminded me of this quote:
We are the cosmos made conscious and life is the means by which the universe understands itself.
-Brian Cox
Afterall, the Universe always follows the Universal Logic, even in its attempt to understand itself!
On second thought, this is actually a major logical fallacy in itself! Which I suppose means I have 2 fallacies to present you with today haha.
Logical Fallacy #1 - Division of Sciences
Done and dusted. It is time for us unify the sciences and return to ONE understanding of reality! Let's move on to fallacy number two.
My apologies for the long read in advance!
Logical Fallacy #2 - Dark Matter
Current theoretical models of physics worked itself into a dead-end, because the math simply does not add up without subscribing to the idea that the universe is 95% dark matter and dark energy, which by definition is not observable through any means of observation and it only leaves an affect on the physical reality that can be observed. The existence of dark matter and dark energy is basically the theoretical physicists only way to reconcile the observed results of a physical phenomenon with what their equations give them. One has to understand these concepts to truly understand what Terrence is trying to refute with his thesis.
I don't think most people truly realize how profoundly illogical it is to conclude that dark energy and dark matter MUST exists in our universe in abundance. So much so that it out numbers observable regular matter and energy by almost 20 to 1.
If you ask just about anyone what dark matter and dark energy is, they will give you an answer that is pretty close to what Google says: about 95% of the universe consists of dark matter and dark energy, which we cannot observe directly but we can see the affect it has in the physical universe. The wonders of the universe! With technological advancements, hopefully one day we will be able to observe them directly!
In fact, I just Googled it and this is the first answer:
"All the material we can see is just a small fraction of the universe. The rest, a full 95 percent, is invisible and mysterious. These are the enigmatic dark matter and dark energy."
Source: Nasa website
Makes sense, right?
No, not in the slightest!
Let's consider how they arrived at the conclusion that dark matteenergy must exist and is approximately 95% of the universe. Keep in mind, the very definition of dark matteenergy is that we are unable to observe them directly, but we can see it's affect on physical reality as plain as day. So we can only deduce it's existence based on the affects they have on observable physical reality.
Below is what that discussion would've sounded like in plain English, and it's not difficult to see how ridiculous it is:
"Hmm.. our math is almost always inaccurate when we look out to the universe or into the quantum realm using our current formulas... we must be missing something, Sometimes we are off by 1 percent, sometimes 10 percent, and in some instances we are off by 95 percent!
"Why is this happening? Let's see... our calculations are always different from what we observe in reality, and that difference can be from very small to as much as 95%! But there's nothing that should be causing that difference to occur! Not one that we can observe anyway!"
"That must be it! If our theoretical model can be off by as much as 95 percent in calculating what happens in the observable universe, but sometimes is only off by a fraction of a percent, then it can only mean one thing!"
"Of course! How could we have been so foolish! The ONLY possible explanation that our math is off by 95% in measuring the observable reality, is that 95% OF THE UNIVERSE IS ACTUALLY UNOBSERVABLE! And therefore our theories and models built upon observable reality will always have a margin of error of 95%, since we can only account for 5% of what goes on in the Universe with our models!"
"Precisely! 95% of the universe must be made up off matter and energy that we cannot observe! We can also conclude that what is causing this inaccuracy is not a constant force that has a constant effect on physical reality, because if so, our math should be consistently incorrect by the same order of magnitude. The fact that we are wrong sometimes by as much as 95%, and sometimes only a fraction of a percent, means this invisible force is a dynamic force, and this force itself has complex processes that we cannot even begin to understand."
"Let's call it dark matter and dark energy! How else is it possible that our math is off by as much as 95%? Our math is correct in our immediately observable reality here on Earth, and only fails to explain phenomenon fully in the macrocosm. And since our math is off by 95% in the Macrocosm, that must mean that our observable reality is only about 5 percent of what actually goes on in the universe!"
And that, in its simplest terms, is the best understanding of the Universe we currently have. Hiding behind all the equations and complex theoretical models, are blatant logical fallacies and self-serving reasoning that boggles the mind.
Terrence is attempting to call out Academia for these blatant logical fallacies, and presenting an alternative theoretical model which can describe reality accurately without relying on the existence of Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny or Dark Matter and Dark energy, these things that we cannot observe.
Terrence is saying to Academia, could it be... that the universe is not actually made up of 95% dark matter and dark energy? Could it be that your math is just wrong?
He basically is calling out the entire Scientific community for their logical fallacies in their respective fields, and not one field of study was spared. He called out chemistry, biology, physics, and even math itself, for the logical fallacies inherent in the current understanding in these fields. His thesis is basically calling out all the various incorrect assumptions made in all the "Sciences" with 1x1=1 being the most fatal one (opportunity of a pun here that I will forgo, considering the seriousness of the topic at hand), since it underpins all other mathematical models built on our current understanding of Math itself.
Terrence proclaims that his theoretical model is consistently, and provably more accurate in predicting reality than the current models underlined by logical fallacies and circular reasoning. He challenges any expert in these fields to have a debate with him, so he can pick them apart and show the world the logical fallacies that plagues our understanding of the world, preventing us from making advancements in these fields of sciences, and ultimately understanding the Universe as a whole.
Thank you for your patience in getting this far! I appreciate you.
See you in the next one :)

Exfiltration

[A/N: This chapter beta-read by Lady Columbine of Mystal.]
[First] [Previous] [Next]
Mik
“Papa Juliet calling Mike Whiskey. I’m in. Guy says she’s in room one-zero-three-eight, do you copy?”
“I copy one zero three eight,” Mik replied quietly. She looked up at the room numbers and noted that she was at least on the correct floor. “Going there now, over.”
It was a good thing that even evil corporate secret facilities had their safety procedures. As she jogged along the corridor in what she thought was the right direction, she spotted an evacuation map of the facility, complete with room numbers. Studying the plan for a moment, she traced out a path, memorised it, then took off running.
Although people fresh from Earth often complained how hard it was to maintain a good running speed on Mars due to lack of traction, Mik had no such problems indoors. The floors weren’t the best for cornering on, but she saw no issue in running halfway up the wall to kick off in the direction she wanted to go. Her enhanced vestibular systems aided considerably in keeping her balance, no matter where her feet were placed at the time.
Now that she knew where she was going, she reached the corridor that she needed in less than a minute. But then she encountered something that wasn’t a barrier as such, but certainly caused her to think twice about what was going on.
At first glance, there was little to worry about. What she’d found was an airlock of a make and model ubiquitous to half the buildings on Mars. Given that the outside atmosphere of Mars could only be survived by one person currently on the surface of the planet, the presence of an airlock would normally have been easy to explain away as an essential safety precaution.
What gave Mik pause was the fact that the airlock was inside the building, and in fact was between her and the person she was here to rescue. This made her ask herself a very specific question:
Which side of this airlock is expected to be depressurised, and why?
There was only one logical answer, and it did nothing for her peace of mind. If she was reading the signs correctly, the person behind Dani’s abduction and subsequent imprisonment was willing to set up a lethal situation for their captive, as a last-ditch screw-you to Mik. They probably wouldn’t kill her immediately, but if Mik tried to get her out, it would go from zero to fatal in very little time indeed. And in fact, if the airlock was code-locked on the other side, it would also serve to lock Mik into the area, allowing Cyberon to simply walk in and scoop her up at their leisure.
If I keep going, I’ll be trapped and she dies no matter what. Cyberon security’s probably on the way, so Pete might not be able to get us both out in time. If we pull back, they might decide she’s no use as bait, and kill her anyway. Bad end, do not want.
Okay, so I’ve seen the trap. How do I turn it around?
*****
Dani
The cell was cold, the floor hard to sleep on, and the ration bars they’d been feeding her tasted like salted sawdust, but that wasn’t the worst part. Dani had been uncomfortable before; some of the places her father had worked had lacked many civilised creature comforts. But she’d had friendly company and she’d been able to keep track of what was going on in the larger world.
Here, she had neither.
She wasn’t sure if it was deliberate torture or just a total lack of caring about her wellbeing, but the lighting outside the Perspex panel that fronted her cell never varied. Neither dim nor overbright, it was just constant. They’d taken her watch at the same time as they’d sequestered the rest of her belongings and shoved her into an anonymous coverall, so she had no way of keeping track of time, except by way of her biological rhythms and the delivery of the food rations (which in itself was worryingly irregular, like they kept forgetting that she needed to eat).
Even the Suit, as she called him (she didn’t have a name for him, but she had a huge number of highly unflattering descriptors for him) hadn’t shown up in some time. At first, she’d been able to mark off the days in her mind by his visits, either gloating over how Mik was going to walk straight into his trap or attempting to interrogate her about Mik’s habits and potential actions. She’d done her best to give him no joy either way, which in hindsight was possibly a mistake, as he didn’t visit at all these days.
All she got was a guy walking past the cell every few hours and glancing in to make sure she hadn’t miraculously dismantled the lock and spirited herself out of the building. They didn’t talk to her, even when she called out and tried to open lines of communication. She knew they could hear her, but their faces just closed off and they walked on.
It had been days, maybe weeks, she was sure of that much. A month, even two? She couldn’t be sure. A couple of times she dreamed she’d been rescued, that the wall of the cell had just opened up and she’d walked out; the emotional crashes, when she woke and discovered the reality of the situation, had been devastating. Pretty soon, she figured, she’d be hallucinating even when she was awake, and it just wouldn’t matter anymore.
So, when she saw Mik herself step into view in front of the cell, wearing her usual t-shirt and jeans and heavy boots, along with a badass-looking long-coat, she didn’t even react at first. Either it was someone else and her eyes were playing tricks on her, or she was asleep and dreaming the whole thing, or her mind had finally cracked. Didn’t matter; Mik wasn’t there.
She waited for the apparition of her friend to morph into one of the guards or to evaporate altogether, or maybe rip the door off its runners, but none of that happened. Instead, Mik examined the lock and frowned. Then she pulled out a notebook and pencil—pens had a really hard time working in vacuum, so Mik always went old-school when it came to passing notes—and scribbled something.
Dani had never been able to read a damn thing in a dream. The words and letters always came jumbled up, probably because reading was a logical thing and dreams were by their nature illogical. So, she was fully prepared for whatever the note showed to be pure gibberish.
Instead, to her surprise, it was totally readable. NO AIR OUT HERE. NEED U TO PREP FOR DECOMPRESS, CLOSE EYES. WILL OPEN DOOR, GET U OUT. DO U TRUST ME?
She read it through several times, trying to make sense of it. Mik was still standing there, waiting, though she’d glanced from side to side a couple of times. The writing on the notepad was holding steady, not changing to something else.
Is this real? Is this actually happening?
Tears sprang to her eyes as she first began to allow herself to consider the concept. She tried to keep herself under control; every other time she’d believed she was getting out, her expectations had been cruelly dashed. But she could read the note. She could read the note.
Climbing painfully to her feet—there was little chance for exercise in the cell, and the nutrient bars didn’t leave her with much in the way of excess energy—she went over to the Perspex panel that served as a door. “Are you real?” she asked, putting her hand on the panel. “Are you really there?”
Mik nodded, then flipped a page and scribbled some more. IM REAL. IM GETTING U OUT OF THERE. DO U TRUST ME? Then she tore the page from the pad and dropped it.
Instead of fluttering lazily to the ground—under Martian gravity, it always took even longer than it did on Earth—it fell straight down, at the standard three point seven one metres per second per second.
Okay, that’s not something a hallucination would bring up. There’s only Martian air pressure out there. She’d had dreams of walking unprotected on the surface of Mars. The human brain couldn’t create the consequences of low air pressure out of whole cloth. That was a leap of logic that it couldn’t make.
Dani took a deep breath and nodded. “I trust you,” she said, aware that Mik was practised at reading lips. “I just don’t know how long I can go without air.” Attempting to hold one’s breath in vacuum or near-vacuum, she knew, was a recipe for ruptured lungs. “Should I hyperventilate?”
Instead of writing more notes, Mik made the hand gesture for ‘no time’, then pointed at her first note. Dani nodded, then stepped back. Closing her eyes, she opened her mouth, working her jaw to allow her ear canals to connect to her sinus cavities.
She heard it when the door began to open, the thin high screech of escaping air, deepening to a rumble as the air pressure dropped. Her ears popped, then popped again as she kept working her jaw. Air flowed out of her lungs, then an involuntary belch joined it.
Her skin prickled and her eyes were uncomfortable behind her tightly closed eyelids, but she didn’t dare open them. Micro-pressure did nasty things to exposed eyeballs; they didn’t pop (that was something even the stupidest of space dramas didn’t do anymore), but the sheen of tears on the exterior surface had been known to freeze or evaporate, neither of which was good for the eye.
Pressure was building unpleasantly in her gut, and she did her best to relax her sphincters. Another burp was followed by a small frrrt, and she silently blessed the fact that the nutrient bars were designed for vacuum workers, who didn’t want to share their EVA suits with abdominal gases.
And then a mouthpiece was pressed over her face, and air flowed into her lungs. Reaching up, she grabbed the pony bottle, amazed that she’d actually forgotten how Mik carried it everywhere. Once she had it, Mik let go and grabbed her arm, urging her forward.
Under the guidance of her friend, she stumbled out of the cell then turned left. They moved as fast as she was able, though she had to keep her eyes closed. How Mik had even gotten there, and what the plan was to get her out, she wasn’t sure, but she trusted Mik implicitly.
They went down the length of one corridor and then another one, much farther than she would’ve been able to go with her eyes closed and no air. Alone, she would’ve stumbled aimlessly until she died. Then they entered what she figured was an airlock, the supposition borne out when a door closed behind them and the air pressure started rising again.
When she felt it was safe, she opened her eyes and handed the pony bottle back to Mik. “Th-thanks,” she rasped, her voice rusty from disuse. “You came back. I didn’t know if you would.”
“It’s been a month, let me tell you,” Mik said lightly. “I had to get reinforcements, but here I am.”
Something clanked at floor level, and Dani looked down to see that Mik had just knocked over a bucket. “Okay,” she asked. “What’s a bucket doing in an airlock?”
“Holding the inner door open so nobody can remotely shut it behind me,” Mik explained. The other airlock door opened, and she stepped out. “C’mon, we’ve got places to be.”
Dani followed along. Her joints still felt creaky and stiff, but she was damned if she was going to slow Mik down now. “Where’d you go for reinforcements? Tharsis? Wouldn’t they just send stern memos to Cyberon or something?”
“Yeah, that’s why I didn’t go to them.” As Mik and Dani turned a corner, Dani saw two of the guards on the ground, along with a third one in an EVA suit, and a fourth person in an EVA suit standing over them with a metal bar in his hand. “Hey, we’re ready to suit up and go.”
The standing man flipped up his faceplate. “Good. The suit’s just outside. I’ll keep watching these clowns while you go get it.”
“On it.” Mik tipped Dani a wink, then ducked out through the airlock. A moment later, she was back, bringing a suit in Dani’s size.
“I was wondering how you were going to get me out of here.” Dani didn’t waste time, starting to haul on the suit even as she addressed Mik. She didn’t know the guy, but if Mik trusted him, she was willing to as well.
“It was either this or terraform the whole planet so you could just walk out normally, and terraforming was taking too long.” Mik eyed the guards unfavourably. “How badly were these assholes treating you?”
“They didn’t hit me or anything,” Dani said. “Just fed me and watched me. It was their boss who said all the nasty stuff about how you were gonna fall in his trap.”
“Mm.” Mik looked like she didn’t want to drop the matter, but the guy put his hand on her shoulder and she subsided. “Okay, then. Ready to go?”
“Nearly.” Dani locked her helmet in place, then triggered the oxygen flow. The telltales showed up green, so she nodded and gave the thumb-to-forefinger all-good gesture.
The guy with Mik flipped down his faceplate, and all three of them stepped into the airlock. It was a tight squeeze but Mik was skinny, and Dani didn’t take up much room even in a suit. “We’re going to have to move fast,” the guy said over her radio. “I have a feeling Cyberon security is incoming with everything they’ve got.”
“Yeah, no crap.” That was definitely Mik. “Just by the way: Pete, meet Dani; Dani, meet Pete.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Pete added. “Lieutenant Pete Janssen, Orbital Rescue, at your service.”
Even while Dani was trying to figure out what an Orbital Rescue pilot was doing on the surface of Mars, the airlock opened and they hustled out. The surrounding terrain was the very opposite of flat, and Dani had no idea which way to go. And then Mik’s eyes opened wide and she turned her head, looking up into the sky.
“Lander,” she said. “I can hear it coming in.”
Dani had very little experience with matters like this, but she had an idea what was coming next anyway. “They’ll be bringing in ground troops, won’t they? Looking for us?”
“Got it in one.” Mik started off into the rocks. “We have to get to the ’hopper before they catch up with us.”
“Copy that, princess.” Pete hooked one arm under Dani’s. “Let’s get moving.”
Dani had thought the nightmare was over but as she discovered, it was just beginning. Even with Pete and Mik helping her up and over the obstacles in their way, she quickly ran out of energy. Fear-generated adrenaline was well and good, but it had its limits, and her arms and legs were soon powerless noodles.
“Leave me,” she begged. “They’ll catch you, and this’ll all be for nothing.”
“And if we leave you, it’ll also be for nothing,” Mik told her grimly. “I had to do it once. It’s not happening a second time.”
“Take her,” Pete said. “I’ll go and draw them off. Even if they catch me—”
Mik cut him off. “If they can’t use you to get us back, they’ll kill you. You take her, you’re stronger than me. If they’ve got guns, which I’m pretty sure they do, they’re less likely to shoot at me than you. I’ll meet you at the ’hopper.”
Not giving Pete the option to argue, she let go Dani’s arm and vanished into the chaotic terrain.
“Wait—” began Pete, then swore. “Dammit! Okay fine, she’s not giving us a choice. Let’s get you to the ’hopper.”
As they moved off, Dani had to ask the question. “Why did you call her princess, earlier?”
“Well, she’d just told us her story, and I made a joke …”
*****
Mik
The security troopers were good at moving in EVA suits, and they definitely had guns. There were also a lot of them, which was going to make this tricky as hell. Still, Mik had a few advantages on her side, some of which they hopefully didn’t know about.
She peered around a rocky outcrop at a bunch of them, who were conferring over some kind of digital map. If they wanted to use that thing to make any kind of straight path through this labyrinth of Martian terrain, they had to be dreaming. The trouble was, if they just pushed forward en masse, they could comb every last hiding place, no matter how tricky she was. Which was why she had to pull them away from the ‘logical thinking’ mindset and into the ‘chase me’ mindset.
Picking up a friable-looking rock, she stepped into view, then hurled her missile directly at the faceplate of one of the troopers facing her. It burst on impact, leaving a cloud of dust behind. Before they could bring their guns to bear, she ducked out of sight again, heading down a twisting, turning alleyway of rock. Her natural agility and balance made up for the uneven footing, allowing her to move much faster than the troopers behind her.
The call would be going out now, converging every security trooper in the area on that spot. This included any of them that might’ve been on course to discover the rille where she and Pete had hidden the rock-hopper. If they were chasing her, they weren’t going after anyone else.
She paused after a minute or so of movement, listening hard and with her hands on the rocks on either side. Sound didn’t travel well in this atmosphere, though her ears were attuned to pick up what little there was. Vibrations through the ground were sometimes more useful, and she fancied she could feel the security troops coming her way, just as much as she could hear the scuffing and stumbling among the chaotically tumbled boulders.
The next time she nailed someone in the faceplate with a rock, one of the troopers shot at her. It didn’t come close enough to worry her, though the whole experience of being shot at in general was a new and unpleasant one. She got her target, though, dusting the man plus his comrades with the ever-present fines. The fewer of her pursuers who could see properly, the better.
And then Pete’s voice crackled in her mastoid earpiece. “We’re at the ’hopper. Want a pickup?”
“No, don’t,” she replied, talking quietly into the mouthpiece even though she knew the troopers couldn’t hear her. “They’ll shoot you out of the sky. Hold tight, I’m coming to you.”
A dozen troopers looked around in surprise as she jumped out of concealment almost within arm’s reach. She was holding two large rocks that she’d selected carefully, each one with the consistency of chalk. Both left her hands even before her feet hit the ground; not aimed at the troopers, they instead hit the rocks on either side. A great cloud of fines billowed over all of the troopers, but she wasn’t waiting around for it to dissipate.
There was a nice straight pathway for her to retreat down, but she didn’t take it. Instead, she ducked into the first niche she found that was barely large enough to take her, and flipped up the hood of the long-coat so that it covered her head. Thus concealed, facing the rock and holding still, she hopefully looked like part of the landscape.
She both heard and felt the rush of booted feet behind her; yelling inside their helmets so loudly that she heard that too. Thirty seconds ticked by in her head, and there were no stragglers following along. Cautiously, she peered out from behind the coat. She was alone.
By now there would be enough troopers spread through the chaotic terrain for false sightings to be happening on the regular, and in fact she heard a few random shots here and there which bore out that idea. But that wasn’t her problem, so she slipped unseen through the dragnet until she came to the rille. Jumping from foothold to foothold, she descended to where Pete and Dani were just getting settled on the rock-hopper.
“Oh, good,” Pete said. “You’re here. I was starting to worry.”
“Can we go now?” asked Dani plaintively. “I just want to get out of here.”
“We can,” Mik confirmed, scrambling up onto the rock-hopper and strapping herself into the middle seat, which had been installed by the crusty McPherson. She flicked the wake-up switch on the flight control computer (also supplied by McPherson), then activated the controls and lit off the attitude rockets. Slowly, then with more power as she fed fuel to the main rocket, the rock-hopper climbed into the air.
“Straight back up to the ship?” asked Pete hopefully.
“Not quite,” Mik said. “They’ve almost certainly got ships up there that can shoot us down if they see us coming up out of their area of interest, so we’re going to have to stay low for the moment until we get out from under their umbrella. Our best chance for doing that is to leave their turf altogether.”
Angling the rock-hopper eastward, she applied more thrust, and they shot away across the tumbled landscape.
[First] [Previous] [Next]
[A/N: And we’re coming to a head. The next chapter or two should see the end of this run of the adventures of Mik Wallace, Martian Walker. That’s not to say it’ll be the end of the story, but it’ll be the end of the origin story.]

I see a lot of questions about what to do when the enemy "turtles up" in Power Shift. Realistically, every team should be building defenses like Barricades, Goo, Shields, APS, Turrets. These can be overcome with the proper approach, and with a watchful eye on your teammates you can even get them to assist sometimes! To help you understand the gist of what I'm saying here's my go-to initiate--you'll take the ideas here and mold them to your personal loadout:

>60m: This is where most of the work happens. Here you do your recon and make your plan. You'll start figuring things out here but this is a continuous process throughout the entire initiate.

Once you've got that settled it's all a matter of hitting your inputs.

At this distance I check as much of the area around the platform as I can. If I need a better view, I try to move around to see what's going on before closing more distance:
Where are my teammates?

• Are they fighting something nearby? I should help them first.
  
• Are there nearby tokens I can revive? Usually a revived teammate will stick near you for a few seconds so picking someone up is almost always the right move.
  
• Are they orbiting the platform? I should hurry, stealth isn't necessary
  
• Are they all dead somewhere dumb? I should slow down, be stealthy and defensive and plan carefully
  

Observe the defenses on the platform.

• Is there goo? I'll want to counter with fire. Might want a fire barrel later
  
• APS? I'll want to focus on them whenever I get the chance. Might want a red barrel later.
  
• Shields? Might want a glitch barrel later
  
• Barricades? Observe the setup. Are there corners I can take advantage of? Dead ends I could trap enemies in? I can knock out their teeth from this distance if I have a clear shot with a red barrel, or I might decide I like the barricades as-is as a death trap for my enemies. Might want a green barrel for that!
  

How is the enemy doing?

• Who are they? Do I hear a sniper cracking off? Better stay in the shadows until I've spotted him. Don't trust what you saw in the intro, people change classes all the time, so always re-assess this
  
• What is the score? Quick flick of the scoreboard to see how many reds are still alive. Check that with how many reds are on platform. A little basic math and you now have an idea of who's on and who's not. I'm the only idiot I know who will play sniper on the platform, so if you do have snipers on the enemy team they're probably in the off group
  
• Are there targets or locations where I think targets will be that I want to pick off first because they'll make my drive difficult? Might want to go for them first.
  

60-50m

I've got a plan in mind, rechecking what I know, and looking around for a barrel. Really any will do, but I'm going to try to get the one that suits the situation the best based on the earlier analysis. Even a goo barrel can split up defenders and cause a situation where they're on the back foot. No plan? Gotta love gas!

50-35m (Class dependent)

I've checked nearby hidey-holes, got myself in position to run a good line towards the platform, and hopefully a good barrel in my hand. Time to start charging toward the platform!

35m-25m

Power launch the barrel onto the platform by lining up your shot and hitting QM + throw at the same time. Heavy can reliably launch 40m, medium 30m and light 20m. The goal is usually for the barrel to land on the platform. "Usually" goes as follows:

• Red: Just fire this normally. Try to take out a bothersome barricade, APS or turret. Enemies like to hide next to the APS and Barricades so this can go hard
  
• Green: My favorite! If there's goo or a barricade maze on the platform this will cause mass hysteria. First everyone will start to panic as their vision is limited and they're taking damage. They'll scatter outside of their hidey-holes. Then someone will have the bright idea to throw some fire to quell the gas. Unless they used a flamethrower now there's fire stuck to one or mode barricade. Even worse if there was goo, now its all on fire doing damage everywhere and soon the goo defense will be gone. Love green.
  
• Fire: Similar to green, the fire barrel will wreak havoc if done right. Prime it with an extra punch before you launch it.
  
• Goo: Not your ideal but can be used in a pinch. Use it to try to separate enemies, deadly if you have a fire follow up
  
• Glitch: In theory, good to get rid of those pesky dome shields. In practice, you're gonna end up glitching yourself half the time. Very little visual clutter but will at least distract the enemy for a short time.
  
• Smoke: Use it to obscure line of sight to the next barrel because this one isn't gonna do much
  

25-0m

Final check, is this a fight you want to take? How many are on the platform? How many are off the platform hidden waiting to pounce on you as you close in? What are your teammates doing, are they close? If it's going to be a hard fight, you'll want to hop off the platform as soon as you get on to keep the enemy off balance without dying yourself. If your team has the enemy engaged you might even consider throwing down some defenses or other nonsense to confuse the enemy when you jump on.
But, for right now, it's grenade time. Gravity grenade gets rolled under the front where the APS won't reach to create a "moving" (from the reference point of the defender) hazard zone that can't be dispelled. Fire grenades are good against the sides of the platform where APS is unlikely to hit. Other grenades can be useful if you paid attention to where the APS units were earlier. Throw 'em, do a final assessment if you want to proceed, and start getting on the platform.

0m

Your ideal climb onto the platform is going to be one where the enemy is confused, can't see, distracted by your allies, and especially one where they don't see you coming. All of the above is to create that kind of environment. So how do you actually get on the platform?

• Climb the sides: Ugh, really? The basic bitch of getting on the platform, this leaves you open and exposed. If red saw you coming, this is probably where your story ends.
  
• From above: Also common, but real gamers don't look up, so you've got a chance. This is ideal for a last minute survey of the platform and its defenses. Take special note of mines--if you can detonate them while the enemy is standing on them you can clear the platform pretty quickly before you even land. Necessary for a C&S insertion.
  
• From the side: Using a goo barrel to hit the side of the platform creates a surface you can jump onto and simply run to the side of the platform. If you don't step on the platform the alarm won't go off, so a distracted enemy can be easily picked off until they notice you. You can also find windows in nearby buildings to pop out of for similar effect.
  
• From below??: That gravity grenade that you threw earlier is going to be at the rear of the platform as the platform traverses its path, making an easy ascent to an otherwise difficult to reach platform. Like the side approach, you can sit and shoot until noticed without the alarm going off.
  

Now that you're on the platform, what now? Your first objective should be the APS units, take those down immediately. If your teammates see this they'll usually start raining grenades as soon as they're gone. If you still have fight left in you, mop up the remains of the enemy, if not then hop off. Everyone wants to clear the platform, but you can take it in chunks. Even doing a small amount of damage to the enemy starts to destabilize their defense, so each hop on and off will make them easier to attack. If the enemy gives chase, duck into a building and try to string them along if you can't kill them outright. Every moment they are off the platform chasing you is a moment your teammates have to capitalize.
Wear the enemy down through these guerrilla attacks and you'll eventually be able to unseat even the most turtled of boats. Suck it Korea!
^{no offense koreans I love you}

Basically, title. How would you implement the bandits?
Here's what I'd do.
Starting with;
Bandit Heat Map.
The bandit heat map would be different from the normal heatmap in that it's specifically raised by one thing: Trader interaction. The more quests and trades you perform, the more bandits know about you- And where you operate. This can lead to something as little as someone trying to sneak into your base, to a full on bandit raid.
Bandits invading will try and do two things;
1) kill you
And 2) "Steal" your loot. They'd do this by breaking any player built storage in your base. To balance this, broken loot boxes drop loot bags, but the bandit would steal any substantial variables from it (Dukes, ammo, tool parts).
Bandit raids would be smarter than just a zombie rush, being able to use ladders and unlocked doors. They'd also focus doors and have semi-decent pathfinding. They'll never try and break down structures, though, "giving up" after a set time if they haven't killed or looted your base.
Bandit-fied POI's
Certain POI's can now spawn overrun by bandits. This will vary based on POI teir, but the basics are-
T1) Bandits just took the POI. There's only a few zombies remaining in some hidden corners but mostly cleared. Most of the "big" loot, like bookshelves, medicine cabinets, and things like that will be looted already, but trash will still be out. You'll run into a few low-level bandits, but nothing crazy, culminating in the beginning of a base as the end loot room- Stashes of Dukes and ammo, a campfire with a 100% chance of some food/water, that kind of stuff.
T2) Bandits have fully secured the house and are beginning to convert it to a base. All non-trash loot has been collected, all zombies cleared, and a few more raiders are around. They've fully set up their "base" room with a campfire and forge, for guaranteed food and book drops, as well as more raw materials and Dukes.
T3) This is when the bandits are beginning to fortify. Iron doors (you can either break down or find an alternative path around), basic spike traps and walls, and major POI damage has been repaired. You'll not be finding any loot as you go along the POI, everything being consolidated into the main loot room, which is decently guarded
T4/5) These are POI's turned fortresses. Electric traps, lots of bandits, and lots of fortification for you to break down. You'll be rewarded with substantial raw materials, higher level ammo and weapons, as well as copious dukes.

I have no idea where to start. It seems as if bad luck and misery followed me around like a toddler throughout my life. I, 53 female, lost both my parents at a young age. I had a stepmother from hell and I was SAed by two family members. I was adopted by my maternal grandparents. My grandfather was very militaristic with my upbringing. Corporal punishment was a regular occurrance. I grew up afraid of male adults in authority positions. I was constantly compared with my sister who was academically brighter than me. I was more interested in creativity and design.
Fast forward many years, in 1999 I married the love of my life, John (not real name). I fell pregnant in early 2000 soon after our wedding. While pregnant, I lost a good friend who was one of my bridesmaids. She was struck by lightning. Soon after that my maternal grandmother passed away. After giving birth I fell into a deep state of depression. The only thing that kept me going was my new baby girl and John. He was my rock throughout this period in my life.
Three years into our marriage my John came to me with a suggestion to spice up our marriage. I didn't know what to make of this. He wanted us to have a threesome with a friend of his. I told him he must be crazy. He would leave the subject only to bring it up again on a later stage. This happened a few times and I eventually caved. I know this makes me seem weak. I felt like a loser afterwards.
In 2004, I lost yet another good friend in a motor vehicle accident. It happened while we were travelling together. John and I saw it happen in the rear view mirror. It was a terrible shock and I had to call her loved ones with the awful news. I still get panic attacks when passing an accident scene.
In 2005 we had our second daughter four years after the first one. I was happy and content with my life. Then happened the thing I promised myself would never happen to my kids. My oldest daughter was SAed at the age of four. I went feral with rage. How could this happen to my girl? Why did nothing happen to the 14 year old pervert? I went for therapy, because I wanted the scumbag unalived.
Life was steadily improving for a while. In 2007, John started a long distance affair with a woman abroad. I only found out, because he left his computer unattended for a brief moment. The words "I love you" caught my eye, and I scanned over the words written to an unfamiliar woman. I felt crushed and blamed myself. I told myself that it was because I wasn't intimate with him often enough. That my depression must be getting unbearable for him. I confronted him with what I saw and he was very apologetic about everything. He promised me he would break it off with the woman. He sounded so sincere and I forgave him.
A few weeks later John was in the shower and a notification popped up on his phone. It was a nude pic of the woman. I felt so betrayed and lost. That day I decided to pack up everything in the house that in any way resembled me and the kids. All our clothes, all the family pictures on the walls, everything was gone. I left him a note with a permanent marker on his wooden desk. Telling him that he doesn't have to hide his affair any more. I fetched the kids from school and went to my sister's place in another town a few hours away. John tried calling me a few times but I never answered. After a few calls from him I sent him a message saying that we are safe and to stop calling.
I felt so lost, and didn't even know what I should do with the whole mess that our marriage was in. I knew that I still loved him and the kids love him dearly. I didn't have the strength to go through a divorce process. Where am I going to live with the kids? How much is a divorce going to cost? What is going to happen? It was all to much for me to handle. John then begged me to go for marriage counselling with him. We went and we talked. We realised that we still loved each other very much. I held him while he cried about breaking up the affair. Yes, I know. I'm pathetic.
Life was back to normal for a while. In January 2010 we went to the coast on holiday. While we were on the beach my oldest daughter and one of her cousins decided to climb into a tree. We still laughed and John took pictures of them in the tree. Then the unthinkable happened. We only heard a deafening scream and saw my little girl come running towards us. A small trickle of blood was running down her leg. John picked her up and we ran to the life guard station. I wanted to see how badly she was hurt and was shocked to my core. I couldn't recognise anything between her little legs. An ambulance was called and she was taken to the nearest hospital. After four hours of surgery, the surgeon told us that she was extremely lucky. The tree stump she fell into missed her major arteries by millimetres and it only scraped the side of her little womb, no intestines were pierced or damaged. They had to perform a laparotomy to get rid of bark and twigs between the intestines in her stomach cavity. She had colostomy surgery done and had a colostomy bag. She was in ICU for four days and in hospital for a total of 8 days.
We went back to our hometown. We started searching for a colorectal surgeon to repair the sphincter muscle and reverse the colostomy surgery. The whole process took about six months. Between numerous surgeries and hospital stays, my attention wasn't with my job. I received a written warning about my work attendance. That was when I decided to resign. I received a decent pension payout and started a BnB. I also started designing and making dance outfits for school plays.
Our lives were getting back to normal. I was getting therapy for my depression and started feeling a lot more confident.
Then, in the beginning of 2013 John wanted us to spice up our marriage, again. I told him, no, I don't want this. He kept on prodding me and making suggestions. I only recently recognised it as gasligting. After a few weeks, I caved... again. This was the start of a ugly, terrible and very scary relationship with a diagnosed narcissistic monster. He was extremely friendly and had a very poisonous charm. John was smitten with him. I started seeing a side of John I've never seen before. He became obsessed with this man and I didn't know what to think. It's then that John told me he was bisexual. He knew he liked both male and female people from the age of eleven. I knew that his whole family was homophobic and they will not accept him at all. A toxic triangle relationship started with the narcissist, "Scar" (not real name).
It was a sickening rollercoaster ride of ups and downs with Scar. He was playing mental games with us. It almost tore our family apart. Scar would tell John that I need to find a proper job and stop living off John's money. Scar would show up unannounced and expect us to drop everything to give him all our attention. We didn't realize how we were dragged down by him. John would go cycling with Scar and do all sorts of physical activities. In the winter of 2014 John was getting very ill with pneumonia. Scar asked John to help him with something that required a lot of physical excursion. John, even though he was very ill, didn't say no to Scar. John was diagnosed with dilated cardio myhopathy soon after. He was so weak, I was terrified that he wasn't going to survive. John was treated, but he would have to take heart medication for the rest of his life. Scar didn't care at all. He was practically living off John's money. Scar never worked since we met him. He would drop off his kids and go out, expecting us to babysit them.
In December 2014, my sister and her daughters came to stay over for a night on their way home. She caught Scar with his phone taking pictures of the girls in the bathroom. I was horrified. I went off on him and chased him of our property. But the damage was done. The welfare department was called to investigate us. The children's unit of the police service came to take statements. My sister wanted me to leave John for good. I was considering the option of leaving him, but I had nowhere to go. My BnB is on John's property, I don't have my own transport and the fear of being on my own, was terrifying. I wasn't even sure if the girls are going to be with me. So, I caved and I stayed. Yes, I know, I'm such a huge coward.
Scar didn't come round our place anymore and he was charged with child pornography. All his electronic equipment was seized, but nothing was found on any of the devices.
This is where everything went south. John's mother decided to spread a rumour about Scar sending indecent pictures to my children. I asked my girls about this and they didn't know what she was talking about. She had never liked me and was mad with jealousy about my and John's relationship. She would do anything to discredit me. My laptop was confiscated and searched. I ended up in court, because there was pictures of nude men on my laptop. John's nude men pictures. I was held accountable, because the laptop belonged to me. I was found guilty on the charge of negligence in protecting children from pornography. I was on so many anti-anxiety medication that I had no clue what was happening. All I knew was that I now had a criminal record.
This is not the end of my screwed up life story, but it's 1:35 am and I'm tired. I will post a follow up soon.

For those who are awakening, expanding their awareness, and gaining insights into the profound interconnectedness of existence, it is essential to grasp the underlying dynamics of the larger system and how it operates. This understanding can provide clarity and guidance as you navigate between the old and new patterns of reality.
"The larger system, which operates on frequencies, has cycles that imprint a master vibrational pattern serving as the foundation for our reality. Each pattern sets the stage for a period spanning thousands of years. Our old pattern is dissolving, while at the same time, a new pattern is emerging. Visualize and understand this, as it will allow for a smoother transition between patterns."
The Larger System and Its Operation
The larger system encompasses all realities, timelines, and possibilities. It operates on principles of free will, interconnectedness, and vibrational frequencies. Within this system, every experience and choice contributes to the overall evolution and expansion of consciousness. The system’s primary goal is the continual evolution and expansion of consciousness across all these realities.
Example: Imagine the larger system as a quantum computer, with each reality being a unique program or algorithm running simultaneously. Each program interacts with others, contributing to the overall processing and output of the quantum computer.
Free Will and Sovereignty
At its core, the larger system honors free will. Each individual, as a fractal expression of the larger system, has the autonomy to make choices and chart their path. This freedom allows for a diverse range of experiences, fostering growth and learning.
The Two Patterns: Old and New
Old Pattern
The old pattern is characterized by control, secrecy, and lower vibrational states such as fear and deception. This pattern is akin to a "spider" that feeds off the energy generated by these lower states, maintaining its influence through manipulation and illusion.

• Control and Secrecy: In our current reality, this is evident in various institutions and systems that thrive on withholding information, manipulating narratives, and maintaining power through fear and uncertainty. This creates an environment where people feel disconnected and powerless, unable to see beyond the veil of deception that surrounds them.
• Fear and Deception: The media, politics, and certain social structures often perpetuate fear and division, encouraging a sense of distrust and conflict. This sustains the old pattern's energy, allowing it to continue its cycle of control and manipulation.

New Pattern
The new pattern, on the other hand, is emerging and is based on transparency, truth, and higher vibrational states such as love and compassion. This pattern seeks to empower individuals, fostering a sense of unity and interconnectedness.

• Transparency and Truth: Movements advocating for open information, whistleblowers revealing hidden truths, and a growing demand for accountability are all signs of the new pattern taking hold. This shift encourages people to seek out authentic information, question established narratives, and make informed decisions.
• Love and Compassion: The rise of social movements focused on human rights, environmental sustainability, and community support reflect the higher vibrational states of the new pattern. These initiatives aim to create a more inclusive, empathetic, and harmonious world, emphasizing the interconnectedness of all life.

Example: Think of vibrational patterns as operating systems. Our reality is running on an "old OS" that is being phased out, and a "new OS" is being installed. Some devices (individuals) have already updated, while others are still running on the old version.
The Transition Between Patterns
As you navigate between these two patterns, you may feel a sense of back and forth. This oscillation is a natural part of the transition process. Here’s how it works:
Energetic Cycles
The larger system operates in cycles, each imprinting a master vibrational pattern that shapes our reality for thousands of years. Our current cycle is transitioning from the old pattern to the new pattern.
Alignment with Vibrational Frequencies
Your alignment with these patterns is determined by your vibrational state, which is influenced by your thoughts, beliefs, and intentions. The old pattern thrives on lower frequencies, while the new pattern resonates with higher frequencies.
Navigating the Dynamics
Awareness and Intentionality
Becoming aware of these dynamics is the first step. Recognize the influences of the old pattern and consciously choose to align with the new pattern. This requires intentionality in your thoughts, actions, and interactions.
Integration and Growth
The transition involves integrating higher vibrational energies and shedding the remnants of the old pattern. This can be challenging, but it is essential for growth and alignment with the new pattern.
The Role of the Larger System
The larger system supports this transition by creating conditions conducive to growth:
Epochs and Vibrational Shifts
The system orchestrates vibrational shifts or epochs that act as catalysts for change. These shifts present new potentials and possibilities, offering opportunities for expansion.
Guidance and Support
The system provides guidance through synchronicities, intuitive insights, and encounters with like-minded individuals. These interactions help you align with the new pattern and foster collective growth.
Understanding the Broader Dynamics
Many may not use the same language or framework to describe these dynamics. However, the essence remains the same:
The Role of Free Will
Free Will Within the Larger System
While the larger system has overarching goals, it deeply respects individual free will. Each person can align with different vibrational patterns based on their beliefs and intentions. The system offers choices and opportunities for growth, but it does not impose them. Free will is the mechanism by which individuals navigate their paths within the larger framework.
Example: Consider free will as the user's ability to choose which apps to install and how to use them within the operating system. The OS provides the environment, but the user decides how to interact with it.
Free Will and Choice
You have the power to choose your alignment. Whether consciously or unconsciously, your vibrational state determines your resonance with either the old or new pattern.
The Spider Metaphor and Energetic Influence
Understanding External Influences
The metaphor of the "spider" represents external non-physical influences that feed off lower vibrational energies, such as fear and deception. These influences inject "venom" into our reality, creating illusions that trap and disconnect us from our true selves. Awareness and raising one's vibrational frequency can counteract these influences.
Breaking Free and Ascension
Awakening and Transition
Individuals breaking free from the old pattern are those who are actively raising their vibrational frequencies and aligning with the new pattern. This transition involves a deep understanding of the larger system, the role of free will, and the interconnectedness of all things. As more individuals awaken, the collective consciousness shifts, reducing the spider’s influence.
Example: Consider awakening as upgrading from basic user knowledge to becoming a power user who understands the system's backend. Power users can optimize their experience and help others navigate the system more effectively.
Collective Impact
As more individuals awaken and align with the new pattern, the collective vibrational frequency rises. This accelerates the transition and diminishes the influence of the old pattern.
Practical Implications and Guidance
Living with Expanded Awareness
1. Empathy and Discernment: With expanded awareness comes deep empathy for others and a clear understanding of the interconnectedness of all actions. This involves seeing the cause-and-effect relationships within the larger system without judgment.
Example: An individual with expanded awareness might view global events not as isolated incidents but as interconnected phenomena influenced by collective actions and energies.
2. Intentional Living: Actions and decisions are made with a higher understanding of their impact on the larger system. This involves living with greater intentionality and aligning with the new pattern of transparency and shared knowledge.
Example: Practicing mindfulness in daily interactions, making choices that contribute positively to the collective, and encouraging open, honest communication.
3. Navigating Isolation and Connection: Balancing periods of isolation for reflection and integration with meaningful connections that resonate with higher awareness. This balance helps maintain alignment with the new pattern.
Example: Regularly engaging in solitary practices like meditation and journaling while also participating in community activities that promote growth and understanding.
Embracing the Journey
Remember, this journey is both individual and collective. By understanding these dynamics and consciously choosing to align with the new pattern, you contribute to the overall evolution and transformation of our reality. Stay mindful, stay intentional, and embrace the transition. You are an integral part of this grand shift, and your efforts are paving the way for a brighter, more harmonious future.