38 weeks pregnant and lower right back sharp pain

ZR5K

2013.05.09 03:05 kestaa ZR5K

NOTE: Due to very low traffic, we have merged this group with /Runner5. Please go there for more actrive discussion! **8 Weeks to Become a Hero** Train with Dr. Myers, outrun zoms, and become Runner Five. New to running, getting back into running, or just can't get enough of Abel, this /r is for people working through the Zombies, Run! 5k Training app. Available for iOS and Android at https://www.zombiesrungame.com.
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2013.12.17 04:35 D3rp1na Spinning Class/ Indoor Cycling

Discussions about Spin Class.
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2016.10.03 16:20 Equilibrist The Wayfarer's Pub

The Wayfarer's Pub is a bar resting in a pocket dimension for your tabletop roleplaying game character to come and interact with others' characters from around the globe. A bar where everyone's characters go after an adventure to unwind. A place for retired characters, active characters, or characters yet-to-be. We have players from D&D, WH40K, Shadowrun and even Star Wars RPG. Each thread is a conversation you overhear and can take part in.
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2024.05.14 12:45 theashtraygirl27 I just need any advice on this sinking ship he's calling relationship.

Before u read, this will be bunch of informations that are barely connected, it's poorly written, I'm not claiming to have done nothing wrong I just need someone to share my situation with and maybe seek some advice.
Me (F20) have been dating my bf (M19) for almost two years. For background : we went to same school and I used to be his long-term hallway crush, but he seemed shy so I made a first move. In the beginning, like every relationship goes, I could brag about how perfectly he's treating me if anyone asked, and, having sh1tty situations in payt with ex and situationship I was over the moon to have someone treat me so gentle.
Before we started dating, he knew I have an ex of over two years, he knew I had two boys being my very dear friends and I told him, as he has no lady friends, that if he expects me to remove one guy especially it wont work and he agreed that he won't be expecting of me to cut off my friends for him with no hesitation. Guy friend in question is kinda boy who sees to opposite gender besties and if someone says they'd be cute couple he'd act as if it's actual inc3st and we never saw each other any other way then friends. At the prom, same guy friend cried for two hours because he thought I didn't have good time because my crush kissed another girl, but honestly I had the great time when i saw how much he cared for me.
My byofriend also, before dating me, without me asking or saying anything said "I'll remove all woman from my life when I have u" aka girls from school that are people he doesn't talk to enough to call them friends but there is some contact between them. I was confused because I didn't plan on asking him to as I have guy friends but i felt respected.
It all ended up the exact opposite, I did remove my friend who i still miss to this day because my boyfriend was overly jealous. On his side : girls from school started to pick up on him and when he told me about it, I sensed bullying and told him to block them because they're being pretty annoying and he, kidd u not, asked "do i have to?" so brought up him saying he'd remove anyone for me and he did after days of arguing and me crying because it's the opposite of our agreement before dating. It wasn't even jealousy on my side and he didn't want to block them because he thought they'd ask why and he'd be uncomfortable but... He made a promise that he didn't keep.
Year later he broke up with me partly because i wasn't "pure"/ I have an ex and partly because of how bad my mood swings were (I had 3 doctors diagnosing me with severe depression and was almost hospitalized at the time I was "moody" ).
That breakup had me getting even worse because he was the guy to say "I'm so scared you'll leave me" "if you stay I stay" "i hope we're forever" I didn't know forever meant one year but the breakup was only 2 weeks long, had me suffering for over a month before he actually broke up because he took it very very slow. I slept 15 minutes a day and i wish i was being metaphoric, waiting for him to decide weather he'll stay or not. I did everything I could, my ocd gets worse in stressful situations and my brain telling me "if you do this, that will happen, if you don't, that will happen" all day every day, but I obviously did everything it told me to do to keep him and he still left and ruined us for 2 weeks of separation.
Note : If someone tells you they have something going on and they can't change it, don't come in their life trying to force a change, weather it's friendship you might not like or mental disorder out of their control, please.
After we got back together : - I told him i spent time home in group chat with two of my girls and some of their friends and random boy we found where we played "guess what I drew" because i couldn't leave bed and couldn't sleep, he got jealous at that random boy and made me feel bad for doing something while not being in a relationship. (I didn't flirt, we didn't talk in private chat, we just played and he was also aroace.)
While we were on breakup I also reached out to my guy friend and he is doing amazing, enjoying life and was happy I contacted him but my boyfriend made me cut him off, again. Tho, his sister best friend (girl) is buying him gifts, sleeping over at their place in room him and his sister are sharing but why would I be jealous? In fact, I'm not, I like that girl more then I like his family.
Anyway, it was last summer, when he asked me to be his girlfriend again I told him that I'll need time to heal, prepared him for the fact that I will bring up stuff he did before we broke up because I'm still hurt, and he'll need to be extra patient and gentle and he agreed, but instead, every time I talked about pain breakup caused because I wasn't over it, he'd yell at me so i tried to bottle it all up.
In past few months, everything I tell him will hurt me he'll find a way to do it, even if it's something he didn't have in mind, if i told him fictionally it'll hurt me so he knows, he'll do it, and when I confront him about it he'd focus on my reaction saying "are u being fr?" (Like I didn't warn him.) or "stop making me angrier I'm stressed" ( Like I'm not, also, stressed.)
Every time he does something i asked him not to, if I had a reaction it would turn into hours long fight and after making me a bad guy for reacting, he'd play a victim saying I misunderstood, it's all in my head ect. Well i started to tell my friend about our fights or I'd ask AI making "story" to see situation from someone else's perspective because I was tired of being told it's all in my head and it's on daily basis.
He recently started to pick up on my traits of ocd or autism that I also have diagnosed and told him about before he asked me out.
This was my overreaction, I agree, but I'm aware and I didn't ask to be this way; He gave me his hoodie so I'll sit in bus ( it was so dirty and I'd rather be standing, but he wanted me to sit with him and offered a hoodie which was nice. ) when we got to my place laundry dryer fell and put his hoodie on my, just day before, washed rug so i can have free hands to pick up the laundry, he picked hoodie up, angry that i left it on a floor for hot minute, immediately and put it on my bed where I sleep. I threw it right away and started crying because I'm extremely germophobic and had flashbacks from how dirty the bus was, he wanted to go home because i was acting too crazy and I know it's too much of a reaction on my side but I'd rather be like that then like people with no basic hygiene. He started asking "are you going to be this way forever?" And pressuring me to answer, then he told me I'm the only person in whole world behaving like this, like I don't know it's too much, I know it, my ocd is taking over my time and my life, my rituals are anxiously long, my fear of being dirty makes me unable to function through out the day, I have it hard already without someone putting a pressure on it, my doctor refused to treat me even tho I told him it takes at least 2 hours after I go to bed to re-do all my rituals so I can sleep without feer and I still end up waking up few times in one night, I know it's not normal bruh that's why it's a disorder lol, I never claimed it was normal but how can I just get it out of my body, I feel like crazy disgusting creature with zero rights to live because of what he says every time I have a" moment ".
He also doesn't fail to make me feel guilty for not paying attention to my tone when speaking or my facial expressions or my sensory sensitivity like it's all my fault, asking when will I stop being like this and that it's just me being like this, that no one else is this hard to deal with.
I love him and he's making me hate my existence, my flaws, things I can't change about myself, what am I supposed to do about it? Therapy in this country isn't much of help. I feel so guilty oftenly for being the way I am and I didn't even list half of the things.
He also makes me feel guilty for him giving me his time, when we have plans for a day but we spend that day with him always being in rush to go back home and him complaining how he didn't have to do A B and C because he "had to see me" like he doesn't even want to see me. (Same boy who said, over year ago " I can't stand seeing you only four hours a day I wish to be around you all the time".
We're fighting every day and every day it's something I asked him not to do but he still did and it always ends up with me being just too angry all the time and him doing nothing wrong.
He doesn't communicate well, he's messages contains 2-3 words and when I understand what he wrote instead of what he "meant" it's my fault. I warned him more then year ago that if I keep trying to explain in 5 different ways my point of view while he doesn't even explains his with valid sentence I'll give up on talking.
He's "explanation" goes like this : If i ask for two plus two he'll say the fishes brethe air - not only is the explanation wrong in general but it never has anything to do with my question. Like dudes that cheat and excause is that his grandma died, you get it?
Now, I'm so tired that when I try to tell him what's wrong, when he starts to be self defensive I block him because I can't take it anymore, I now can't communicate because I know how it'll end up anyway and it lost it's meaning. I'm turning out toxic but I'm tired, my soul is tired while his soul is rotting.
It hurts watching my sweet boy turning into such an ignorant and pathetic person. I started to think he has npd.
It seems like only solution is for me to stop reacting and to bottle everything up, but that's not relationship I want. I don't want to pretend I'm fine when I'm not, I don't want to keep masking around my own partner just for the sake of his ego because that guy can't stand being told he did something wrong and it takes hours of justifying, self-defense and victim role for him to actually say sorry without even understanding why he should be apologizing for.
TLDR : I (20f) am dating my bf (19m) who's only ever focused on my reaction when he's mistreating me then the reason why I reacted.
submitted by theashtraygirl27 to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:44 clueless20yo Need suggestion on how to get relief from backpain supposedly muscle pain

I remember I used to have this pain in all my school days before exams mostly due to prolonged hours of study. I used to sit on bed drooping down all my back and neck over the book so I think that was due to bad posture. Consulted two orthopedic doctors, both of them showed me some exercises and that's all. Back then the pain was right on the shoulder blades. During my college days, the pandemic occurred and also lost few pounds(went almost aneroxic type skinny) I wasn't studying those days, all day I used to scroll phones lying on bed or workout a little bit. I don't know for what reason, but my backpain was gone. It was maybe because of I was working out or because I had no fat accumulation on back, or because I was lying down all day. I don't remember it was bothering me this much until last year,, I used to do very little(only high knees) to no workout then. But from the beginning of this year I started preparing for February Gate (which I miserably failed tho) sitting all day in my room and stopped doing any exercise or anything. I gained 4-5 kgs during that. After that I am getting backpain now and then. Now the pain is not exactly on shoulder blades but the muscle below it, also my spine near that hurts a little. I consulted an ortho again, he didn't come up with any solution actually. Told me to sit straight while studying. Now I don't study that much, even if I try to study (even while lying upside down on bed) I get distracted or get backpain. This pain comes out of the blue anytime of the day, makes me suffer for half of the day or 2 days straight and disapppears magically. I get backpain even after sleeping sometimes. I quitted using pillow, because i felt like it makes the pain worse(ik sleeping without pillow is not recommended at all) but still it occurs. how do you treat this kind of pain?
submitted by clueless20yo to kolkata [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:44 WeissonWr Pain inside of my heart

I think this is the first time i will ever Talk of this on a "public way" and i dont know if its going to help me or not but here it goes:
Basically i play games on mobile and i met a Girl around a year ago playing that Game. She was crying because she was having a hard time and basically i tried to cheer her up. Since that day we texted everyday and i did videocalls and sleepcalls with her because she had nightmares and bad thoughts most the days and she Also had bpd plus their previous partners treated her so bad so i tried my best to make her Happy i even bought hera lot of gifts . after something like 3 months (by june of last year) she told me that she loved me and well we started being partners . I am from Spain and she was from Italy so It was a Distance relationship but we managed to see eachother. It took a while because the first time we Saw eachother was on december at a gaming event we saw and since that day we started seeing eachother every two weeks and she met my family too. Everything seemed so nice but some days after valentines day i went to Italy with her and on that days and some days before me coming she was weird and basically after i was there and i gave her a dress as valentines gift (yeah some days after because before i couldnt) i went back monday at Spain and 2 days after she broke Up with me saying that she wasnt feeling the romantic side and that she had a long way to recover. I got depression and anxiety over that and after 2 weeks my great-grandmother Also died. When we broke Up she told me we could be Friends and keep talking but she ignored me and after i talked with her again she told me that she didnt want to keep talking with me so i could move on and that she met another person and well .... I thought that if she took like 3 months to start going out with me and then after breaking Up with me on 2 weeks she is already with another person something was wrong. I decided to Talk with her again and well i messaged her a lot because i was feeling so bad but i basically was toxic and she ended Up blocking me.
After a month of all of this i decided to message my ex and tell her that i was sorry about being toxic and that i was moving on to be honest i wanted to be her friend but she just blocked me. Before you jump and say anything yeah i know about things like "I need to let her go" or "you need to move on" but its just that it hurts to love someone to that point and give everything just so it finishes that way.
After all of this happened i started going gym and watching anime shows etc... As i found it really helped me to deal with emotions. I Also tried to make new friends and even tried to meet a nice girl for a relationship (for me LDR are not a problem as im willing to put the effort if i see that person really makes me happy) but i didnt have much luck with that as for both things i got either insulted , ignored or asked for money which are things that shows me the lack of interest of those persons towards me.
I dont know.... I understand what i need to do and i know whats right but... It just hurts too much and sometimes i feel its too much for me.
If you read this far and you want to talk with me you are free to message me.
submitted by WeissonWr to lonely [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:42 ArcOslo Does the "100% extra coins"-offer remain if I buy from the website?

I checked back in ETGs webshop where you can buy coins and get a few extra, and I saw that they have lowered the prices there so that it is cheaper to buy directly from the company compared to a purchase through the ETG app (this was not the case a few weeks back).
I would want to "save" the offer they now have made in the app of getting 100% extra coins when doing a first-time purchase, and this time instead buy from the website.
Do any of you know if I still will have the 100% extra offer in the app if I buy through the website? Will the system notice and count the website purchase as a first purchase and revoke the 100% extra offer from the app?
Does anyone know?
Thx:)
submitted by ArcOslo to Equestrianthegame [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:42 Previous_Original_30 Upset with favourite person

TLDR; I'm upset with my favourite person and my brain just froze. I am stuck and I don't know what actions to take. Does this sound familiar?
Sorry for the incoherent long story. I think I needed to both vent and I would greatly appreciate advice and insight to get my head straight.
I'm not exactly sure what happened, but they just... keep disappointing me 😔 Not keeping promises, not communicating clearly about the reasons why, and making me feel like I'm not important. We talk every day, and communication just decreased a lot from their side. I haven't seen them in person in weeks. When I asked why, there was no reason according to them. I gave them some space, and they're just making small talk with me, avoiding big topics. I feel kind of gaslit and very upset, so I decided to take a step back and think about what to do/say next.
I haven't responded for a few days and when I checked there were multiple messages from them expressing concern about me due to my sudden disappearance. I just said sorry, that I didn't mean to make them worry.
I know the right thing to do is talk about it and face any possible consequences. I don't know why that seems impossible, but I just can't. It's like I'm stuck in a loop. I think deep down maybe I'm afraid to find out how little they actually care? Or that I've been replaced? Losing a favourite person is the worst feeling in the world to me. My brain feels.... fried. Like I blew a fuse.
The thing is, I'm upset. But I have to admit that no contact and not having to deal with their mixed messages bullshit has been extremely peaceful. Yes I think about them, but I have mostly been hanging out with other people and focusing on other things. I don't think that's completely fair of me, and it may be important to mention we both have audhd.
I think I'm looking for advice. I don't fully understand what is happening to me, why is it so hard? I don't think I normally struggle to express myself this much when I'm upset.
submitted by Previous_Original_30 to adhdwomen [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:41 More_Helicopter_688 Post trip report Two weeks with a toddler (Lake Como, Gardaland, Venice)

We just got back from a wonderful trip in the northern part of Italy with our 3-year-old. Having spent 2 weeks on one of our best trips so far, I really want to thank a bunch of fellow redditors who helped refine our itinerary and suggested places which otherwise would not have made it to our plan!
Day 1 Milan: We took a flight from India and landed in Milan in the afternoon. Milan was just the arrival point for us and we did not intend to visit Milan as such, so we ended up booking a room in the hotel at the Malpensa Airport itself. Nothing much that day; a bit of rest and a delicious dinner were a great start to our trip.
Day 2 Drive from Milan to Bellagio: Woke up after a good night's sleep (a much needed one after the long sleepless flight the day before). Breakfast at the hotel was really good with a lot of options for everyone. We had booked a car through SIXT at the Malpensa airport. Getting the car was a breeze with great service from the representative at the SIXT counter. The drive to Bellagio was a very good one. I was still getting used to the car, since I come from a land of right-hand drive and switching to a left-hand drive meant putting in a lot more focus on the road. Driving along the Lake Como was a fantastic experience. We reached Bellagio by lunch time and our AirBnB was ready for us. The rest of the day was at leisure, with a casual walk around Bellagio, through the city center and along the lake.
Day 3 Bellagio to Varenna: Took a ferry to Varenna and had breakfast at a lake side cafe. With great weather on our side, a cup of coffee and a little pastry seemed more blissful than we thought of! We had signed up for a picnic on the hills of Camaggiore, a 40-minute drive from the Varenna ferry station. We had our representative waiting for us and she drove us to the picnic spot, sharing tales from the towns of Lake Como, showing us amazing views along the way. The picnic itself was surreal, with the most beautiful view of the lake from 1200 meters above. We spend the rest of the day exploring Varenna at our pace, while our little one slept like a log in the stoller.
Day 4 Bellagio: After debating weather to visit the Como town or not, we decided to stay in Bellagio in explore the town a bit more. We took a ride of the Bellagio Express, the toy train that takes you around the town. It was a fun ride, intended for our toddler, who decided to doze off in the train itself! Post that, we saw the gardens of the Villa Melzi. We had rented a boat to explore the lake ourselves during the evening, but rainy weather made us cancel our plans. We spent the rest of the evening, relaxing at our AirBnB, overlooking the lake.
Day 5 Drive from Bellagio to Gardaland: Moving on to the next leg of our trip, which was clearly planned keeping our little boy in mind, we drove to Gardaland reaching there by noon. Thanks to a wonderful fellow Redditor, we got introduced to this wonderland called Gardaland! Our stay was booked at the Gardaland Hotel and while we were waiting for our room to get ready, we decided to pay a visit to the Gardaland Resort park right away. A drizzly weather kept most of the visitors inside the SEA Aquarium, but that also meant we had absolutely no waiting times on most of the rides in the park! The little one was elated to see the Peppa Pig Land, and refused to move away from it. All in all, day one in the park was a super success despite the wet weather. Evening at the hotel was full of fun-filled activities for the kids. The entertainment team at Gardaland Hotel did a fabulous job at keeping kids engaged.
Day 6 Gardaland: Our second day in the Gardaland park was a much more planned one, since we had already explored some of the park on the previous day. We knew the rides we wanted to go on, and so logistics were simpler. Weather was great too, and so we had a wonderful time! The park has a plethora of options to eat, with a ton of sweet treats along the way. The park is huge but very well laid out with clean facilities. Naturally, day two also could not be completed without visiting our favorite Peppa Pig! Evening at the hotel was again fun-filled with the team at Gardaland doing what they do the best!
Day 7 Parco Natura Viva: Gardaland is in proximity to a lot of amusement parks and points of recreation for family and friends. One of them is Parco Natura Viva, a zoo with a drive-through safari. It was a Saturday and the zoo had enormous waiting times for the cars to enter the Safari. After having waited in the queue for over an hour, we finally started the Safari, which turned out to be pretty great. Next, we had the fauna park (the walkable part of the zoo), the one with animals in their enclosures. With the entire park divided into geographical zones, it was fun seeing animals from various continents. The place is well-maintained, and creates a great experience for kids.
Day 8 Verona: We had kept an extra day in Gardaland just in case the little man wanted to visit the park again. However, given the proximity, we decided to do a day trip to Verona instead. We drove to Verona and parked our car in one of the paid parking lots. We had reserved a morning slot for a walking tour, that took us through the streets of Verona, with our very knowledgeable guide sharing tales from historic Verona, the castle and gate to the old city center. The center was bustling with stores and eateries. Very touristy but was all the more fun! Our taste buds were craving for some Indian food and we ended up having lunch at an amazing Indian restaurant named "Maharajah". The food was delectable with very prompt service. As touristy as it sounds, we did go to "Casa di Giulietta", commonly known as Juliet's house that is known for the legacy of Romeo and Juliet having been inspired from there. The so-called Juliet's balcony is missable at best.
Day 9 Drive from Gardaland to Venice: Switching to the last leg of our trip, this was supposed to be the wife's part of the trip. She has wanted to visit Venice for as long as she remembers, and this trip could not have happened without a leisurely stay in the city of canals! This was also the last day of us keeping the car, and we drove to Venice Marco Polo Airport where we returned the car at the SIXT counter. Once again, just like the pick-up the return process was extremely smooth and lasted barely a couple of minutes. Our plan was to catch the Alilaguna airport water bus to the main island, but we decided to splurge at the last moment and took the water taxi instead. And boy were we happy! The water taxi is an experience in itself, especially when entering the canals from the airport. Our AirBnB was located right on the Grand Canal, giving us uninterrupted views of the Canal. For a place that looked better in person than in pictures, what more could we have asked for! We spent the evening walking to the Rialto Bridge, people-watching!
Day 10 St. Marks square and Dodge's Palace: After a good night's sleep, we woke up refreshed, taking in the morning views of the Grand Canal, with the gondola's and the various boats floating by, doing their chores for the day. We had booked a tour of the St. Marks square and the Basilica, along with the Dodge's Palace. Unfortunately, it had to be a rainy day. While we still participated in the tour, the place became very crowded because a lot of people tried to maximize on the time indoors to avoid the rain. Nonetheless, it was a good experience. The little one dozed off in the Basilica and so we let my wife carry on with the tour of the palace, while I took a table under an umbrella at the Cafe Lavena to get myself some coffee, and to let my son enjoy his sleep. We spent the evening loitering around the Rialto market, spoiling ourselves with a few gelatos at Suso!
Day 11 Murano, Burano and Torcello: We woke up early, fixed ourselves some breakfast and were ready to leave. We had booked a tour of the 3 islands and our job was to get to the meeting point as soon as possible. Unfortunately, we missed our group and had to visit the islands on our own. The upside to this was that we could do it at our own pace! This included having a hearty lunch at a beautiful local cafe in Torcello. This place had a chidren's play area too! This also meant spending more time than necessary in Burano, because why not? We loved the colorful houses on the island and we just wanted to be there, taking in everything it had...
Day 12 Leisure and Photoshoot: My wife and I generally have this idea of booking a small photoshoot at every exquisite location we visit. This not only gives us great pictures for memories, but it also allows us to see areas which we would otherwise not know existed. We booked this experience through AirBnB and our photographer was a wonderful man, very learned and a true Venetian at heart! He took us to places that were free of tourists, for some amazing pictures. Not only that, he also arranged for a special Gondola ride for us, which took us through the narrower canals of Venice, adding to the already special experience. A trip to Venice is really incomplete without a Gondola ride, and we were glad we could! This was the last evening of our trip and we could not conclude it without a few more Aperol Spritz's and Gelatos from Suso!
With every trip we take, we learn a lot, that helps us make our future trips better. We consciously chose to skip the more popular locations like Rome and Florence (Tuscany), since we wanted to have ample time of leisure and just do nothing, with a toddler who wanted to just be.
If I could summarize the learnings of this trip, they would be:
submitted by More_Helicopter_688 to ItalyTravel [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:41 Any-Classic-5733 Why HW3 feels like a disappointment to fans of previous HW campaigns

I was in two minds as to add my opinion to an already crowded field, but I think I need to write my feelings down on a franchise that has inspired my imagination for decades. I will state up front that I think BBI had a nearly impossible task - how to please veterans and players of old, and attract new players to the franchise that will continue to breathe life into it.
I think they may have succeeded with the latter, but probably failed with the former.
It pains me to have to be so negative, and I don't want to come across as a spoiled entitled gamerdude who's angry he didn't get the game he wanted. I'm sure many will disagree with my points, but I don't think I'm alone either.
TLDR at the bottom.
First, some nice things to say
The game does look lovely. Battles, while chaotic and messy the sound design is wonderful, the battle chatter and PDCs from capital ships/assault frigates are seriously impressive.
Campaign
It's short. Unbelievably so. I completed it in two sittings. Some missions/levels, whatever you want to call them are over in 20 minutes, some take a little longer but usually consist of one or two objectives before the player is hastily moved onto the next mission.
I didn't really gel with the story, it felt a little clichéd - 'the new protagonist is in search of the old one' didn't make any sense to me. The whole thing felt like a missed opportunity. They had free reign to do whatever they wanted, but seemed to have gravitated back to a weird 'prophecy' story where I understood very little considering just how much exposition is forced upon the player.
I must have missed what the 'anomaly' was because I kept seeing it being mentioned but had no idea how it fit into the story.
Gameplay and storytelling pacing is a problem
Gone is the slow and steady story telling of old, no sense of wonder or mystery - instead we're hurried along from beat to beat, always being told something is urgent and frequently being reminded that an objective needs completing.
The player is robbed of agency in a lot of cases. In one mission, we're just given a carrier from the start - no research or objectives to complete in order to earn it - just hey you'll need this. I remember in HW1, the first time you make a destroyer, or the first time you build a carrier it's an exciting moment, you feel a sense of achievement and can't wait to see how this changes the battlefield.
You don't get to feel that in HW3. In fact, some missions you might get access to several new units within minutes of each other, so you never really get to explore how each one affects the battles. The pace of the gameplay means you're constantly under attack or under pressure with few moments of calm.
Also, there are times when storytelling got in the way, especially after a lengthy cut-scene the player would be taken out of the game for a moment to show something on the sensors, sometimes multiple times within a few moments of each other. Infuriatingly this didn't seem to pause the action. It was like the steering wheel was taken away from you while you were trying to navigate around a bend.
Gameplay mechanics are simplified compared to previous HW titles
Because there is little in the way of microing your units, (no attack move, no kiting more powerful ships) you find yourself constantly in the build menu maxing out your unit caps to replace lost ships. And you can do that, by the way, because you have literally infinite resources. At no point during the campaign did I have less than 10,000 RUs.
Resource collecting no longer means a player has to choose how to best manage their resource economy. They've taken all that away by giving the player the easy version. The resource controller does it all for you. I really miss how cool it was that resources would drop off at the MS or carriers, then you could upgrade your economy with controllers. Here we've skipped over that, you get the dumbed down version, the player no longer has to choose between positioning a valuable carrier for their economy or as a forward base for supporting strike craft and replenishing frigates.
I remember a while ago I saw someone post here that they hated HW2 strikecraft squadrons and preferred the individual units of HW1. I honestly thought it was the stupidest thing I've ever read regarding this franchise. Strikecraft squadrons added to the scale of the battles, but more importantly it was much more rewarding to manage. By efficiently microing your fleet, you could 'save' a whole squadron by docking it. Now it feels like you just spaming strike craft endlessly with little hope to save individual ones because they'll usually die before you can react and send them home to dock. I just can't understand why they went back to HW1 with that mechanic when clearly, squadrons are the superior choice for many reasons.
For all the talk of terrain and cover being a major gameplay mechanic, I found myself barely using it. Frigates and capital ship pathfinding meant it was just easier to avoid going near it.
Support frigates look like they have space for strikecraft to dock, but I've never seen them go near it. Feels like a feature that was never implemented.
Enemy faction feels... uninspired
The Incarnate ships have all taken their design from the Progenitors, but I'm surprised just how little variation there is in the design. They all look like mini Sajuuks or Progenitor Dreadnaughts from HW2. Don't get me wrong, they look great - but this is problematic from a gameplay perspective, but you only really see the subtle differences up close. However, you rarely have the opportunity to appreciate that due to the chaotic nature of the battles. Distinguishing between Incarnate units is almost impossible as they all share a very similar profile.
UI is much improved since the demo, controls are much better
I'm glad they listened to the feedback, the UI is more intuitive and micro animations give the player the right clues as to what is going on. However, I still struggled to identify which ships I have selected at any given time. Sometimes there will be little numbers over the top of units, but they don't correspond to the group number - it's quite confusing.
I was one of the biggest complainants of the new control system after playing the demo, however, I found myself switching from classic to modern during the campaign - mostly out of necessity - it's quite difficult to navigate around the terrain elements of the maps in classic mode.
But the improvements BBI have made to the responsiveness of the controls have made that transition much easier, props to them for doing that.
Multiplayer / War Games
I haven't had much luck with either of these modes, quickplay doesn't seem to work - trying to connect to anyone in the lobby results in failure most of the time. Of the few games I've played half the time one or more players drop out. This is going to be a major paint point for players new and old, and it'll need improving quickly if this game is going to hold onto any significant player count.
What I think happened here
Making an AAA title these days is hard. It's expensive, and the resources and investment needed to deliver it are enormous. It's why we see so many games released that feel rushed or unfinished. Investors/publishers want to see a return on that investment at some point, it's just a reality of modern-day game development. HW3 was delayed several times and we still ended up with (in my opinion), a sequel that feels rushed and underbaked.
I suspect a lot of this was down to pressure from the publisher to:
A. Try to appeal to a wider market by simplifying the gameplay B. Cut the amount of content to get the product released sooner
Unfortunately for players like me, who wanted a uniquely Homeworld campaign experience has left me feeling wanting. And I'm really sad about that. There are clearly many talented folks at BBI, and I can't help but feel this isn't the game they wanted to release... like they could have used another year or two of development if they could perhaps?
The campaign ending left it open for the possibility of us seeing more content set after these events. I would be entirely open to that, but they'd need to fix some of issues that I'd outlined above if I thought it'd be worth my time and money. But that doesn't appear to be on the year 1 roadmap. My current experience with War Games sort of tells me I've wasted my money a bit if that's all we're getting.
Maybe, after the Year 1 roadmap we'll see the possibility of a continuation of the story - the hunt for the crew of Karan's ship for example.
TLDR
The campaign is too short, and while punctuated with genuine moments of delight, pacing is problematic and the player is often robbed of agency and a sense of wonder. Battles, while pretty, are ultimately a chaotic war of attrition due to simplified gameplay mechanics.
The campaign experience has felt rather shallow and underbaked. Players of previous HW titles will be left feeling like underwhelmed in my opinion.
However I'm sure many new players will enjoy the game much more, it is still one of the most unique titles out there at the moment.
6/10
Edit: formatting
submitted by Any-Classic-5733 to homeworld [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:40 Specialist_Bake6514 Vapiano P3: Italian Food Made in Germany

Vapiano P3: Italian Food Made in Germany
The kitchen is on fire. Welcome to the final part of the Vapiano story where the tables are turning. In the first two episodes we followed Mark Korzilius' journey from setbacks to founding Vapiano, a groundbreaking restaurant concept, highlighting its fresh ingredients, dynamic atmosphere, and data-driven operations that drove rapid success. While achieving initial profitability and garnering attention from industry giants like McDonald's, Vapiano's global expansion has led to stellar revenue growth. However, it has also resulted in the emergence of numerous side projects (or distractions), operational challenges, increased costs, significant investments, and a notable accumulation of debt. This underscores the prioritization of top-line growth over profitable growth. We will continue on this thread and see how the story ends, but I would encourage you to read part one and two for better context. Vapiano P1: Italian Food Made in Germany (substack.com). Let's dig in.
Before Going Public
We are now in 2015 and the year is a disaster for Vapiano's PR department. Employee time stamps are being manipulated, endless overtime for employees and high turnover in managerial roles are reported; mice in the kitchen and even rotten food allegedly found.
The company is confronted with allegations of exceeding working hours among trainees in an article published by Welt am Sonntag, while the same outlet accuses Vapiano of manipulating punch times. The auditing firm PwC is commissioned to investigate the allegations and finds that there is no systematic approach but rather misconduct by individual employees, a mistake that’s being corrected. Internal however, investigations into stamp times are carried out regularly now and beyond its obvious reputational impact, this sucks up valuable management time and attention.
In the summer of 2015 CEO, co-founder and investor Gregor Gerlach, who has been running the group since 2011 is stepping down and Jochen Halfmann is taking over. A new Vapiano People Program with an App is being developed with the aim to better interact with customers that will incorporate innovate features such as mobile pay. The German website sees a launch of new magazine to further promote the brand and there is now a full inhouse blogger and Instagram team being installed. In October the company buys seven restaurants from original co-founder, former co-investor and ex-president previously responsible for internation expansion Kent Hahne (2x Bonn, 3x Cologne, 1x Koblenz and one in Cologne that’s under construction). This package of Vapiano restaurants is very successful and generates net sales of more than 20 million euros in 2014. Hahne opened his first Vapiano restaurant in Cologne in August 2006 and in 2015 with his company apeiron AG, Hahne operates six L'Osteria franchise restaurants, a direct Vapiano competitor, and two self-owned restaurants GinYuu.
Then in November of 2015, the next public relations bomb goes off with allegations regarding the company's quality standards. The company immediately investigates the issue through internal and external specialists but finds no evidence of any quality issues. Nevertheless, knowing that the group is now being closely watched, the company’s already in place hygiene standards are being reinforced. Additional audits and inspections are performed nationally. Further, all Vapianos worldwide are being audited twice by the partners SGS Institut Fresenius and SAI Global. Auditing software is purchased to simplify the implementation of the audits and the resulting measures. Apart from the external examinations, there is a food sampling plan in place being performed continuously. Again, all of this sucks up costs, management time and attention. With all these tumultuous developments the company’s growth engine is undeterred. Revenue grows by a whopping 50 million euros to 202 million euros, an increase of 33%. Impressive. While average spent per customer increases in all countries, the number of customers per day in Germany decreases by 3.3% partially due to the negative press towards the end of the year. Five own, four JV and 19 new franchise restaurants are added that year to the group, the total number of own managed restaurants grows to 51, there are 31 JVs and 84 franchises which bringing the total to 166 Vapiano restaurants. Global restaurant sales are now above 400 million euros.
But while revenue grows by an astronomical 50 million euros, operating profits, alarmingly, shrink again. Gross margins are staying perfectly healthy above 75% but operating costs keep growing disproportionately fast. The Company’s outstanding debt jumps by almost 30 million, close to 85 million euros by the end of the year. With operating profits at 9.5 million euros, alarm bells should be going off right now.
In Q4 of 2015, new CEO Jochen Halfmann introduces Strategy 2020. The new strategy includes five essential points. One, profitable growth in the newly defined core markets of Germany and Austria as well as in the UK, Netherlands, France and USA. Two, operational excellence through strict “best practice” management. Three, further development and digitalization of the concept considering guest feedback. Four, greater focus on long-term employee retention and five, building a modern and sustainable IT landscape. Sound’s good on paper but let’s see how things pan out.
Vapiano's investments (capital expenditures) that year are primarily directed towards new restaurant openings, renovations of existing establishments, and share acquisitions in other Vapiano restaurants from franchisees or JV partners. A significant portion of funds is allocated to the digitalization of the guest experience, including the development of a new app scheduled for market release in 2016 and the implementation of a time recording system across all group restaurants. The world's first standalone Vapiano restaurant with a delivery service that year is built in FĂŒrth, Germany. The company keeps expanding its presence in both inner-city locations and international markets, such as Shanghai, China.
To finance all of this, the group has its own operating cash flow which comes in at 18 million while capital expenditures are 26 million euros plus 14 million for acquisitions. The funding gab is filled with 26 million euros of new debt and a seven-million-euro equity raise. At that end of the year and after the equity raise Gregor Gerlach (through his AP Leipzig GmbH & Co. KG entity) holds 30.1%, Hans-Joachim and Gisa Sander through their Exchange Bio GmbH hold 25.5% and the Tchibo heirs, Herz through their Mayfair Beteiligungsfonds II GmbH & Co. KG hold 44,4%.
But for the first time the restaurant’s concept that was so successful to date is being questioned. Some customers are starting to mislike the operational flow of the concept itself. If you want pasta, you must queue for pasta. If you want pizza you stand in a different queue. A small side salad, yet another queue. "You spend more time carrying trays than an actress in Berlin-Mitte. The audience in the pasta limbo can only consist of people who have worked for an insurance company for a long time and, like Stockholm syndrome, they can no longer get away from the industrial canteen feeling," writes TV host Beisenherz provocatively. While overly harsh in his assessment he's not entirely wrong judging by customers venting their frustrations in forums and social media channels. It isn’t uncommon for those who ordered pizza to have already finished eating while there is little movement in the pasta queue. Long term that doesn't go down well, QSRs competitors like L’Osteria are handling this process differently, with much success.
https://preview.redd.it/6cas01oked0d1.png?width=1200&format=png&auto=webp&s=2da6e0b4bc0e07dbee558de412feb414cd598d4a

Tipping Point

Where are now in the year 2016 and things start to deteriorate visibility. Perhaps not for the leman’s eye but any business minded observer can see that there are problems under the hood. Yes, revenue grows yet another whopping 50 million to almost 250 million euros but half of that growth, comes from acquisitions of restaurants that the group didn’t already own 100%, which is now being fully consolidated within the group’s accounts. Here is a concrete example. In the past, Vapiano SE, the group’s top holding company held an indirect 50% stake in a French subgroup via the subsidiary VAP Restaurants SA, based in Luxembourg, and included this as an associated company in the Vapiano SE consolidated financial statements using the equity method. Due to the acquisition of additional shares in September of 2016, Vapiano SE's indirect share in the French subgroup increased to 75%. This means that Vapiano SE takes control of the French subgroup, which is therefore included in the group’s financial statements as part of the full consolidation. The revenue from the acquired subsidiary now recorded in the consolidated income statement amounts to 12.8 million euros. While that’s great for the top line, the loss of the fully consolidated entity equates to 0.2 million euros. Yes, you are buying revenue, but there are losses attached to them, not profits. A similar case is the Swedish entity that runs eight restaurants with revenue of 11.5 million euros but has losses of 235 thousand euros. So much for Strategy 2020 and “profitable” growth.
That year the group’s operating profits are absolutely tanking, halving to 3.5 million euros. Operating profits are now a mere 1,4% of revenue. Remember original founder Mark Korzilius who talked about operating margins of 25% to 28% at the restaurant level? Yes, there are overhead costs for the organization that sits above the chain of restaurants, but operating margins that low indicates a course correction is needed. What’s telling is that in the annual report, in the management discussion section, the company starts talking about EBITDA as a proxy measure of profitability, rather than operating profit or net income. This wasn’t the case in the years before. Is this window dressing for an upcoming IPO? EBITDA is short for earnings before interest, tax, depreciation, and amortization. How can you measure profitability of a restaurant chain that absolutely and unequivocally needs capital investment to maintain its restaurant operations, the very source of cash generation, by simply excluding this maintenance charge (depreciation in the income statement)? Vapiano’s own annual report talks about the fact that existing restaurants must be rejuvenated from time to time and that new interior designs have to be implemented every few years. These things wear and tear, they go out of style, kitchen equipment breaks and needs replacement. This business absolutely needs maintenance capital expenditure, why anyone talks of profits before these maintenance costs is beyond me. Fun fact: in the previous annual report EBITDA is mentioned seven times, mostly around restaurant acquisitions and financing, not however as a profit indication for the group. In the new annual report, EBITDA is mentioned 28 times. Maybe it’s just me but belated Charlie Munger liked to call EBITDA: bullsh*t earnings. When in doubt I stick with Charlie. Interestingly, EBITDA for Vapiano keeps growing while operating and net profits keep falling.
Operating cashflow for the group that year is about 21 million euros, but capital expenditure is 30 million and acquisitions for subsidiaries another 20 million. To finance these expenditures another 28 million euros of debt and 16 million of equity is raised. Net debt rises above 130 million euro. The operating cashflow of the group before any capital expenditures is 21 million euros. I am not sure free cash flow would be significantly positive after maintenance capex is paid out; it’s not broken out so we can’t be sure. Granted, I am not on the ground during this time, and I am not in the board room, I am simply reading what’s in front of me, but to me this is starting to look like a distressed situation. Regardless, the following year the company goes public.

IPO

Where are now in the year 2017 and its Vapiano’s first year as public company. The company’s annual report reads the following “Sales revenue, like-for-like growth (LfL) and the earnings figures EBITDA and adjusted EBITDA are used as the most important financial performance indicators for controlling operational business activities.” The very same report however also says: “The majority of the group's investments regularly go towards opening new restaurant locations and modernizing existing restaurants. The latter are differentiated into regular replacement investments that occur during ongoing operations (Maintenance CAPEX) and fundamental investments in the renovation of a restaurant (Remodeling CAPEX). On average, a restaurant remodeling takes place nine years after opening.” It says it right there in their own report; every nine years a remodeling is taking place. Remodeling and updating is not cost free, so why exclude depreciation charges which reflect capital expenditures? I understand that perhaps you would want to strip out one-off opening costs, that’s fine and fair, but don’t go overboard.
The number of restaurants increases by 26 (previous year: 13) to a total of 205. The increase consists of 27 new openings and one closure. Group revenue grows to an astonishing 325 million euros but here comes the shocker, operating profits turn negative to 25 million. Fine, strip out foreign exchange losses of 3 million, IPO costs of 5.8 million and new opening costs of 6.1 million and you still have 10 million euros of operational losses. All the while the debt load of almost 130 million hasn’t materially changed, so those operating losses are before a six-million-euro interest payment. 184 million euros are raised through the IPO of which 85 million go to the company. This money is earmarked for further expansion as the group has ambitions to almost double the footprint to 330 restaurants by the end of 2020. The company is currently not profitable on an operating basis, and still wants to expand aggressively? I don’t get it. The remaining 100 million euros of the IPO money raised is distributed to co-founder Gregor Gerlach and Wella heirs Hans-Joachim and Gisa Sander. The family office of the former Tchibo owners GĂŒnter and Daniela Herz with a 44% stake, don’t sell a single share. After the IPO, 32% of all the company’s shares are now in free float.
One year later, in 2018, things get even worse. Revenue grows to 371 million, but operating losses mount to 85 million euros, that’s before interest expenses of 9 million. Even the beloved EBITDA figure turns negative, meaning the operating business before any expansionary or even maintenance capital expenditures is loss making. All regions are experiencing significant deterioration in their earnings profiles. Like for like sales are down 1% across the board. That’s revenue, not profitability. The question naturally arises: is the Group approaching its natural saturation point here or this operational by nature? The operating cash flow is now 9 million while financing cost are close to 7 million. That leaves 2 million for maintenance capital for 74 own restaurants and 76 joint ventures ones. Describing this as financially tight, would be an understatement.
Things are not looking good at this point. Yet the company still grows restaurants by 26 new sites. 64 million euros are spent on acquisitions, new openings, and maintenance costs, financed through a 20 million-euro equity raise and 72 million of new debt. The Company now has net debt outstanding of over 160 million euros. After the equity raise and by the end of the year 2018, Mayfair owns 47.4%, VAP Leipzig, Gregor Gerlach’s entity owns 18.9% and the Sander couple own 15.5% of the company. Yes, the Sanders and Gerlach may have taken 100 million euros off the table, but they still have substantial skin in the game. Plus, Mayfair hasn’t sold a single share and instead injects more money into the company through the equity round. The stock has now fallen from its IPO price of 23 euros per share to under 6 euros by the end of 2018. Something must be done here. And indeed, there is pivot in strategy and a hard push for change. At last, the management team abandons its aggressive growth plan and curtails new openings significantly. Additionally, the team wants to run a thorough analysis of weak locations to then either discontinue or sell sites. In Europe, the operating focus will be put on corporate restaurants and joint ventures in major cities to ensure the ideal size and location to match the respective demographic target group. Outside of Europe, the franchising business is being expanded and at the same time a consolidation of the existing corporate and joint venture markets is being sought. All future investments will be reviewed to achieve higher rates of returns on new openings. Investments are also being made in the renovation of older restaurants. The goal in the future is to also open smaller formats, like Mini-Vapianos (less than 400 square meters) or Freestander at prominent transportation hubs outside city centers (currently in FĂŒrth and Toulouse) to cater to individual location requirements, and to enter new partnerships. I am not sure why management hasn’t stopped all expansion altogether, bringing the ship in order first, getting profitable, clean up, all hands-on deck before considering any further expansions whatsoever. But again, it’s easy to comment from the sidelines; maybe they saw white spaces that would be covered by competing concepts if they weren’t moving fast and aggressively enough. Although pushing internationally means competing with local players such as Jamie's Italian, Prezzo, Pizza Express, Wagamama, Nando's and many more which brings in its own dynamic.
Management also aims to enhance guest satisfaction. This involves refining operational processes, reorganizing the support center, and refocusing on the core offering: providing fresh and high-quality Italian food at affordable prices for a broad audience. The group also aims to reduce waiting times, especially during lunch, while also improving the evening atmosphere. There is even what I would call an evolution, away from Vapiano’s original concept, reorientating the customer journey. The ordering flow is being changed, offering guests synchronized preparations of all dishes while eliminating wait times at the cooking stations. The open show kitchen remains, staying true to original mantra of freshness and transparency but now guests can choose their preferred method of ordering through a mobile app, using a digital order point (kiosk), or by personally placing an order with a waiter. Guests can still freely choose their table and are then informed about the complete preparation of their order through a pager or their smartphone. This is a substantial deviation from the original concept, but a needed one. The group is also exploring and implementing the expansion of take-away and home delivery services but only at suitable locations, not universally across new openings. I am not sure why home delivery is even a priority here; it adds operational complexity. It’s better to clean up shop first and get back to the basics before adding new complexities. To be fair management does try to simplify. There are 49 different permanent dishes on the menu and additional 10 seasonal ones. Customers can choose from eleven different types of pasta. There is simply too much choice, and it makes orders complicated. The company announced to slim the menu down to its most popular and typical Vapiano dishes. There’s no need for an Asian salad at an Italian restaurant. "We have to go back to the roots, i.e. classic, honest Italian cuisine" says COO Everke. Regardless, in November of 2018, the supervisory board pulls the plug on CEO Jochen Halfmann and replaces him with Cornelius Everke. Everke himself has just become COO five months ago. Since 2017 he was responsible for international expansion. From 2011 to 2017 that role was filled by Mario Bauer – put a pin in that name, he’ll play a key role in the groups fate later. Then nine months later, in the middle of 2019, Cornelius Everke quits. He essentially concludes that his skillset and experience in the areas of internation expansion is no longer needed in the foreseeable future. To put it differently: Vapiano has moved from a growth story and has become a restructuring case, and other skills are required for that job. In June of 2019 Everke says the following “(we’ve) made a bit of a mistake when it came to foreign expansion”. No sh#t. Vapiano postpones the presentation of the 2018 annual financial statements three times in the spring of 2019, citing negotiations over an urgently needed loan of 30 million euros. It’s not until the end of May that a binding loan commitment comes through from the financing banks and major shareholders.
We are now in August of 2019 and the corona pandemic is just around the corner. Supervisory board chief Vanessa Hall takes over as interim-CEO and things are unravelling. Visitor numbers are declining; originally, it was planned to sell the US business but halfway through the year the buyer cannot come up with the money. But not all restaurants are performing poorly. The group's poor figures contrast starkly as an example with the experiences of the Swiss-German franchisee, who runs six restaurants. The Sodano family in Switzerland pays Vapiano a royalty of 6% of sales for the use of the brand. Enrico Sodano explains in an interview that they operate largely autonomously from the licensor. If an “accident” were to occur, he could immediately replace the Vapiano sign with Sodano, he says. The family concluded the rents and contracts with employees and suppliers independently. The Sodano family have six locations in Bern, Basel and Zurich, around one million guests every year and 350 employees. Things are going well on the ground. The delivery service they’ve built is offering them a second income stream. Expansion into Winterthur, St. Gallen and Lucerne are being planned; small locations with 150 to 250 square meters and an attached delivery service. Originally, Vapiano restaurants used to be huge but for such a large restaurant to be profitable, 800 to 1,000 guests per day are needed. That’s possible in medium-sized cities, but not in smaller towns which is why the Vapiano group now also supports smaller formats. Back to our corporate drama. The 2019 annual report would be the last report the group files. By the end 2019 the outstanding debt of the company is at an astronomical 450 million euros. Revenue has grown by another 7%, produced by four net new openings through two JVs and two franchise restaurants but operating losses come in at 317 million euros. That sound like an absolute shocker at first but depreciation and amortization charges are 345 million, so that operating cash flow is actually positive but unfortunately capital expenditures and interest payments are so large that they are eating up all of the company’s operating cash flow. Then in the beginning of 2020 Corona hits with full force and the world shuts down. As a result of the measures to prevent further spreading of the virus, the group is forced to cease all global business operations (except in Sweden). While all these shutdowns are happening, the group is the middle of negotiating with its lending banks and main shareholders. There are additional financing needs for restructuring measures, even without a pandemic happening in the background. The situation is so dire that the company starts pleading to the German government to roll out the package of financial help more quickly. Unfortunately, it’s to no end. The rapid closure of restaurants and the resulting lack of operating cash inflows in conjunction with the additional financing requirements, lead to the company’s final knockout punch. In April of 2020, the Vapiano group officially files for insolvency proceedings. The end of an era.

New Beginnings

Because of the pandemic, the majority of the group's subsidiaries in Austria, the Netherlands, Denmark, the United States, Sweden, and China also file for insolvency or seek liquidation. The US business never gets sold in the end and is wound down. In the summer of 2020, significant group divestments occur, including the sale of 75% shares in the group's French subsidiaries, shares in franchisor companies, Australian subsidiaries, German subsidiaries, associated companies, self-managed restaurants in Germany, and insolvency-related sales in the Netherlands, Great Britain, and Sweden. The buyer of the Vapiano brand and one of these bundles of Vapiano restaurants is company named Love & Food Restaurant Holding, a consortium led by Mario C. Bauer – a name I told you to remember. Bauer was a former Vapiano board member and led the national and international expansion, opening 200 sites in 33 countries from 2011 to 2017 until he was succeeded by Cornelius Everke. Bauer didn’t feel comfortable with the IPO at the time but clearly has a lot of managerial and entrepreneurial talent.
The buyer consortium is an absolute A-Team comprised of European QSR top league hitters, including the founder of the Pret A Manger chain Sinclair Beecham; Henry McGovern, the founder and Ex-CEO of the giant international restaurant and foodservice operator AmRest; the Van der Valk Family that runs hotels and Vapiano restaurants in the Netherlands, and co-founder and ex-CEO Gregor Gerlach. The acquisition value is 15 million euros and entails 30 Vapiano restaurants in Germany, albeit that’s just the purchase price which comes on top of any capital investment needed to refresh and return the sites to its former glory. Nevertheless, just as a thought experiment, if you can get each site to 2 million euros of revenue and 400,000 euros in operating profit on average, which wouldn’t be an overly aggressively assumption given the company’s history, you’ve got yourself a package that can deliver restaurant-level operating profits of 12 million euros or more. It’s not disclosed how much capex was needed to refresh the operations, just that fact that the overall investment plus purchase price was a middle double-digit million-euro figure. Stil, it probably was a decent purchase. The same consortium buys Vapiano’s French business for 25 million euros just two weeks prior. After the transaction concludes, the master franchise is given to Delf Neumann and his Gastro & Soul GmbH. Neumann is an experienced operator, and he is ambitious to revitalise the brand with new services and products. For example, instead of pizza, the restaurants will be serving pinsa - a flatbread made from sourdough, wheat and rice flour, topped similarly to a pizza. It targets a more health-oriented customer base looking for a less calory heavy option. The menu overall is expanded by including a variety of vegan and vegetarian dishes.
https://preview.redd.it/kpt7ea6red0d1.png?width=1242&format=png&auto=webp&s=c9930ced85ee364e9df414547cae06b47a03fc19
Today Neumann’s Gastro & Soul GmbH operates 18 Vapianos on its own account and has 29 franchise sites, amongst other brands. By the year 2021, Vapiano operates 191 restaurants in 34 countries. This is around 50 fewer sites than before the bankruptcy. The number of branches is particularly thinned out in Germany – from 80 to 55. Nevertheless, Vapiano's home country remains by far the largest market, followed by France with 35 restaurants and Austria with 15 locations. “We have shrunk ourselves to health,” says Bauer in the aftermath and there is no further shrinking planned. Quite the opposite, the smell of expansion is in the air again – pun intended. Not as aggressively as before and with a new menu and ordering process.
Overall, the team around Bauer is filled with industry experts with knowledge and networks gained over decades who have a great track record, a long-term view, and the staying power to let Vapiano breath and finds its way back to success. The pressure of being a public company with all the associated quarterly, half-year and yearly disincentives have been removed. The menu is changed and extended with new types of pasta and sauces with significantly more vegetarian and vegan dishes available. Guests can order with restaurant staff, at terminals or on their phones and there are barcodes attached to the tables identify the respective seat. The food is brought to your table, all at the same time if you are in a group, no more annoyances with waiting in line. There is a plan for smaller, 350 square meter locations, with half the number of guests and significantly fewer staff and less set-up costs required to make the economics work. Locations that capitalize on remote work and increased demand for local lunch options, higher population density with shorter delivery routes and therefore cost-effective in house delivery services are targeted. And Bauer is testing the concept of ghost kitchens, which operate without a dining room or service staff, focusing solely on preparing food for delivery services, which for obvious reasons have a very different operational set up and footprint. Original founder Mark Korzilius however is not entirely convinced. He is not a fan of the pinsa for instance and he considers Vapiano's pizza as its cash cow, flagship product and believes that the core Vapiano proposition of Pizza, Pasta, Bar that has given the company its original success is being diluted. He instead admires the competitor L'Osteria, saying they’ve done a better job by focusing on Italian classics, especially the impressively large pizzas that sticks out beyond the plate is leaving every customer in awe. The guys who run L’Osteria are the same guys who have built Vapiano with him in the first place. Bauer on the other hand, like a true business leader, remains undeterred, stating that he is frequently asked whether Vapiano's restart was bold or foolish. He believes in entrepreneurship, franchising, in his experienced fellow partners and importantly the Vapiano concept. By the year 2024 you can find over 140 Vapiano branded restaurant in 27 countries across the globe, including locations far away from its birthplace like Australia, USA, Columbia, Chile, Bahrain, and Saudi Arabia. And why not? Italian food is, and will remain to be, incredibly popular. Vapiano offers fresh and tasty food at affordable prices in a good atmosphere. This combination of attributes should attract a lot of customers. It certainly has in the past.
For more stories: WIP Thomas Weitzendoerfer Substack
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2024.05.14 12:40 Happyvirus20 Why won't my husband talk to me? He left me alone for a week now...

So basically, my husband and I are in long distance and I'll be moving to live there with him soon. But the problem right now is he's getting mad at me without calling or any texts at all..it's been a week now..I'm wondering what does this actually mean? My husband is a really bad temper person..he mostly blames me on everything whenever we get into a fight..I tried to talk to him when we first had got an argument but he didn't response back..and that just made me feel frustrated and idk what to do as well..I'm worrying abt our future ahead of us because I don't know if he is still gonna keep that behavior when we live with each other or he steps back a little..there was nothing big deal to argue about but he's always like that...sigh
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submitted by BoredCryptoGuy to FortunX [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:38 SimplySpikedLemonade I’m in love with my best friend but she doesn’t love me back

Tale as old as time I guess. I’m (33M) in love with my best friend (29F), and I’m just stuck at a crossroads right now. I’m divorced and was raised in a high control religion where I did not have freedom to date. I decided to put myself back out there last year after secluding myself for so long and ended up meeting some really great friends.
One of them was her.
We quickly became friends, and I knew something was different about her right from the start. The first night that I met her while we were out with mutual friends, we talked for hours, it was like an instant connection which I had not ever experienced before. On my ride home that night I had a biggest smile on my face from the moment we hugged goodbye to the moment I fell asleep.
We started hanging out frequently, but it turned out that she started seeing another guy right around the time we met. That hurt a bit but I decided to just build a friendship with her. Over the next few months we remained in contact as close friends. I didn’t date anyone in that time period, but was also dealing with some shit on and off from my ex and couldn’t really bring myself to do anything anyway.
Fast forward to February and she has called things off with the guy she was seeing, and I’ve dealt with my ex situation. We start hanging out heavily, it goes from every week to multiple times a week, then to nearly every other day if not every day. We start sleeping over at each others places, we workout together, I meet and start becoming close with her family, and we basically text or call each other nonstop. We’ve become best friends, we both agree that we can talk to each other about anything, and can 1000% be ourselves around each other. This is especially new for me, who grew up learning to supress my personality.
I tell her that I’ve developed feelings for her, but she tells me that she just wants to remain friends. It hurts but she’s the closest person to me in my life and I don’t want to lose that, so I decide to try to just tamp down my feelings. We continue hanging out all the time like normal, until a few days ago. She tells me that she has agreed to go out on a date with someone, and I just feel my entire world collapse in an instant. Now we are trying to navigate this and reevaluate our relationship, because she can read me like a book and knew the instant she told me that it was a dagger in my heart, despite me trying to hold it together.
I just don’t know what to do now. I’ve never been this close with anyone, not even my ex as crazy as that sounds. She is starting to distance herself from me and it hurts more than almost anything I’ve ever experienced. I just don’t want to lose the connection we have. What makes it worse is that, due to my religious background, I don’t have a good relationship with my family, and I was starting to feel like I was part of her family with how often I was around them. She told me a few weeks ago that I was her “person” and she is mine.
I just feel completely lost.
Tl;dr I’m in love with my best friend but she does not love me back despite wanting to be with me almost all the time, and I just don’t know what to do.
submitted by SimplySpikedLemonade to relationships [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:38 Yurii_S_Kh Radonitsa, the commemoration of the dead.

Radonitsa, the commemoration of the dead.
Christ is risen, dear friends! Today, May 14, is Radonitsa, the commemoration of the dead.
Today we served the Divine Liturgy and the Great Memorial Service for the departed, led by the rector, Fr. Andrey Pavlyuk.
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On Easter and Holy Week, for the sake of the great joy of the Resurrection of Christ, funeral services are canceled in churches and there is no public commemoration of the deceased (the commemoration of the deceased at the proskomidia is always performed). In order that the faithful could share in the spiritual celebration of the Resurrection of the Lord, after the end of Holy Week, on Tuesday, the Church established a special day of commemoration of the deceased - Radonitsa.
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Etymologically, the word “Radonitsa” comes from the word “joy”, and the special place of Radonitsa - right after the Bright Easter Week - calls to rejoice in the birth into another life - eternal life. The victory over death, won by the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ, displaces the sadness of temporary separation from loved ones, and that is why we, in the words of Metropolitan Anthony Surozhsky, “with faith, hope and Easter confidence stand at the tomb of the departed”. The commemoration of the departed reflects the belief that even after death they do not cease to be members of the Church founded on earth by the Lord Jesus Christ, who “is not the God of the dead, but the God of the living.”
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Before going to the cemetery, one should visit the church, take communion and pray for the deceased at the liturgy and funeral service. Let us remember the history of the Kiev-Pechersk Lavra, when to the Easter greeting of St. Dionysius the holy fathers, who were reposing in the caves, answered: “Truly risen!” And we, coming with prayer to the cemetery, also can say to our departed: “Christ is risen!” To read the Easter canon, the verses of Easter at the grave. This is truly a spiritual joy that we share with the deceased.
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The current custom of visiting cemeteries on the very day of Easter is contrary to the statutes of the Church. If a person dies on Easter, he is buried according to a special Easter rite. Easter is a time of special and exceptional joy, a holiday of victory over death and over all sorrow and grief.
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A deliberate Easter commemoration of the deceased - “Radonitsa” - is not stipulated by either the Greek or Russian Church statutes, and it is performed in our country “according to pious custom”. Its appearance in the Russian liturgical tradition is apparently due to the fact that from the Monday after St. Thomas' Sunday the statute allows for the performance of rather modest requiem services - lithias. Therefore, in some regions Radonitsa was celebrated on Monday. Accordingly, only from this time the statute allows believers to come to the graves of their neighbors.
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The widespread custom of coming to the graves on the day of Easter or other major holidays with food and alcoholic beverages fundamentally contradicts Christian dogma and goes back to the pagan trisnas on the grave mounds.
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People loudly share with the deceased the glad tidings of Christ's resurrection. Probably, the name of the commemoration - “Radonitsa” - is also connected with this. (In some places this day is called by the Old Slavonic word “navii”, i.e. “day of the dead”.) “Unofficial” character of this commemoration is emphasized by the fact that the Church's statutes do not provide for special requiem apostolic and Gospel readings for the divine service.
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***
Dear brothers and sisters, today Church also commemorates the Saints:
Prophet Jeremiah (6th century B.C.);
St. Paphnutius of Borov, hegumen (1477);
the holy martyr Macarius, Metropolitan of Kiev (1497);
St. Gerasim of Bolda (1554);
St. Vata the Persian (IV);
Blessed Tamara, Queen of Georgia (1213);
Monks Euthymius of Athos (1814), Ignatius (1814) and Akakiy (1816);
Martyr Nina Kuznetsova (1938);
and celebrates the icons of the Theotokos of Andronikovo, “Joy Unexpected”, and Tsarevokokokokshaia (Myronosositskaya) (1647).
May God protect you! Many happy and blessed years to you! Christ is risen indeed!
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submitted by Yurii_S_Kh to SophiaWisdomOfGod [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:37 darth_gray8332 CW ANIMAL DE*TH

I don’t know if this belongs here, but I desperately need some advice and neutral-party opinions. Context matters here, so please read the whole post.
“Did my friends bf k*ll my other friends cat, and the ‘replacement’ I gave her?”
My friend, we'll call her Tina, recently moved to a new house with her friend whom we'll call Amy, and Amy's boyfriend "Dylan". None of them lived here previously, it’s a new move for all 3 of them. Tina and Amy both work days, while Dylan has yet to find a job so he's home all day. Tina brought her cat to their new house, no other pets were present but they have a 3 pet limit. Amy and Dylan wanted to get a puppy, but prior to their moving, my fiancĂ© and I had taken in a pregnant stray cat and Tina planned to take two kittens, one for her and Amy. This would have put them at the 3 per limit, leaving them unable to get a puppy.
Within the first week of the move, Tina's cat passed while she and Amy were at work. Dylan told them that Tina's old rickety box fan had fallen on her, which may have been possible, but it was NOT a heavy fan. Certainly not heavy enough to have done the damage that had happened to the cats head, but they had no proof and no reason to believe it was anything more than a freak accident. I drove to comfort her, and offered for her to take the mother cat as well as the two kittens, as the mother cat had grown to love Tina as she was often at my house. She accepted immediately, no hesitation. While I was there to console Tina, Amy returned home from work and immediately began speaking lightly of the situation, smiling and even cracking a few jokes. Imo, this was very strange to do considering her best friend had just lost a very important part of her life.
Tina's mom, grandma, my MIL, and a few other people truly believe that Dylan hurt her cat. I honestly do too, but there is no proof and Tina adamantly denies that he would do something like that. She claims that since he also cried while she was sobbing over her cats body, that he couldn’t have done it.
Fast forward to last week, about a month after the first incident. The kittens were ready to go, and having no proof and no real reason to have ever suspected anything, I sent them and mama home with Tina. I was sent photos and videos of them exploring and seemingly adjusting well. My fiancé and I visited them Sunday (3 days after they initially took them) to make sure all is well, and we noticed a scratch on mama's shoulder. When we asked, we were told she freaked out at first because she was in a new place sans some babies, and most likely hurt herself during this time. Sure, makes sense.
Well, tonight I received a text from Tina that mama had passed. When she was perfectly fine a day ago. The excuse was that they think she cut herself on the broken wood of their couch, which she could have, but if that were the case I feel like there would have been much more blood. Her back leg looked broken, but it's hard to tell in a photo. Two healthy adult cats have died each within a week of being in their home when only Dylan was there. Leaving them once again able to get a puppy since now there's only two kittens there. (Again, looking at that 3-pet limit.)
I haven't told my fiancé yet as he's asleep (I work nights) but he is going to be devastated as he loved mama cat (we couldn't keep her as we have two adult cats already and they hated each other, so this WAS a perfect solution). He is going to want to get the police or animal control involved, but again, there is absolutely no proof of foul play.
I know he’s going to want to take the kittens back, and I think that’s the wisest choice here since that house clearly isn't safe for animals, even if these instances weren't Dylan's doing. My question is, what would you all do in this situation? Are my suspicions justified? Do we have a reason to make a police report, despite absolutely no evidence?
submitted by darth_gray8332 to legaladvice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:37 batteryacid98 Confused between RAC and tatkal.

So I booked train tickets to bangalore 2 weeks back, and yesterday the onward journey ticket status was WL3. And now it’s RAC 58. The return journey RAC is 163. My priority is to get a berth confirmed for my onward journey. So, if I try to book a tatkal ticket, and by luck if it gets confirmed, I can cancel and get refund to my RAC right? And what if my tatkal ticket doesnt get confirmed and is under waiting list?
Can anyone suggest me what can I do?? This is the first time I am travelling alone and trying to figure out these things.
submitted by batteryacid98 to indianrailways [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:35 DirtZealousideal9270 AITAH for thinking of leaving my SO because she is not and does not have a plan to be financially independent?

Throwaway account.
My wife (31F) and I (35M) have been married for 4 years now. We both are from South East Asia who went through an arranged marriage. We met online about 5 years ago. At the time, I lived in North America and she lived in her home country. We chatted on the phone and spent significant time on calls to get to know each other, I even flew down for a few days to meet her the same year. We took some time to know each other and decided to get married about 7 to 8 months after our introduction.
About 2 months before my marriage, my parents pressured (a whole lot of family drama) me into moving back to my home country. They wanted me to spend some time(about 5 months) with them after our marriage as I was away from them for 5 years or so. Though I hated this whole situation, I headed to their request (regretfully so) and moved back to my country. As a retaliation my then soon to be wife quit her job. To this day she refuses to accept that it was a retaliation, instead she claims it was too difficult for her to juggle between work and giving attention to marriage preparations, so she quit her Job.
I had never wanted to live in my home country, never felt I belonged there. When I decided to move back to my country, I had prepared myself well to not take any support from my parents. So, I had applied for another visa, had planned & paid for our honeymoon, saved enough to survive about a year in my home country without a job and had enough money to move back once my new visa gets approved.
Her quitting the job before our marriage was her decision, and I understand to certain aspect. At the time she lived in a different city than mine and after marriage she wanted to find work in the city that I would end up residing in. Also, we had plans to move to North America after our wedding anyways, so this made sense at the time. We had agreed to do our individual visa's coz I didn’t want her to move countries on a dependent visa, just so that she does not lose her career growth or leave North America if we ever split. We both were supposed to apply for the visa before our marriage date, I applied mine 4 months before our marriage. She was still figuring it out until our wedding date. I got my visa a couple of weeks after our wedding, but she was not able to secure her visa as she couldn't score enough in her English proficiency (not because she lacks the skill, English is her native tongue and has a good hold on the language). I tried to give her time, motivation and any kind of financial support that she needs to clear all visa requirements. But it was too late. Pandemic hit, borders were shut, so were government offices. I moved out of my country 7 months after our marriage amid a lot of pandemic restrictions. My wife promised she would continue to pursue applying for the visa while I leave the country and establish myself again.
1 year later, still no progress in her visa application, no change in employment status. She was living with her parents, and passed all her leisurely expenses to me coz I was "her husband". My family is not the best to work with, so my wife kept blaming that my parents stressed her enough to not pursue her carrier nor focus on the visa application. In the meanwhile, I was supporting my family financially(I owe them funding my college education) and my wife coz she couldn't find a job during the pandemic, while I was surviving my temporary low income job. Surviving with just bare minimum and sending home literally every surplus I earned by picking extra shifts. Fine. Pandemic restrictions started to ease further about 1.5 - 2 years after our marriage. By this time, I had a good job, was earning well enough. I flew back to my country to register our marriage and start her visa application as my dependent. She knew it would be a while before she gets her visa because of the back log and she agreed to look for work until we unite again in North America. She kept saying she is applying without any positive result. After a lot of argument, she confessed she wasn't looking for jobs with complete focus.
In the meantime I am going back to my country every year until her dependency visa was processed just so that she does not get depressed because of the long distance relationship.
Finally after a lot of effort, my wife finally got her visa approved, and I immediately booked her flight so that this long distance ordeal might end. She landed in my city a year ago. She had promised to start looking for job right after she landed, especially picking up temporary jobs until she gets something in her field of education. She has been jobless for more than 3 years by now. We were in our honeymoon phase for about 4 - 5 months after she had moved in with me. She got a job at a grocery store, which she worked briefly (~3 months), and would always complain about pains, how horrible the job is compared to her job back home, how beneath her standards were mopping the floors.
She wanted our first anniversary together to be an overseas trip, so I booked a trip for which she was supposed to pitch in half using her pay from the temporary job. She was asked to leave the job a month before the trip and I took care of the expense, this was unplanned for me, so had to move money around to make this happen.
She just completed 1 year of stay about a month ago. This milestone has taken a toll on me. We had a very bad argument, during which she confessed she knew she needed to bridge her overseas education courses with a fresh course in the new country. Which is about 6 months long and costs lesser than our anniversary trip. She didn't want to ask me money for her education, coz she felt I have spent enough money on her? What? It goes beyond me why a person would think a trip is more important than an education that would put her back in the job market.
She loves me a lot, she takes care of me, she is affectionate for which I am grateful for her. But I very much feel my future is not going to be wise to me if I continue to live with her. Post our argument which was a month ago, I had walked her through a few things to get some fee waiver and asked her to find a temporary job to fund this education. I don't see any improvements and I strongly suspect she has already missed deadlines to do this bridging course from reputed universities. I do not want to wait to get disappointed at her again. Am I an asshole to think she should have been financially independent by now? Am I an asshole for asking her to pitch in on our anniversary trip? Am I an asshole for thinking that I should end this marriage and cancel her dependency visa? I feel I will be better off alone.
TLDR: My wife quit her job just before our marriage and has not worked a stable job in the last 5 years of our marriage. We are now in a new country and it doesn't look like she will be able to get a job in the near future without a bridging course which she has missed her deadline to apply.
submitted by DirtZealousideal9270 to AITAH [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:34 Bubbly-Emu95 Ex boyfriend (30M) wants an abortion, I (28F) want to keep the baby but I am scared to raise the baby on my own

I am currently 6 weeks pregnant with my ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. We spent the last 2 years having sex almost everyday without contraceptives, as we were ready for any risks, we were not actively trying, but not actively preventing.
We decided to take a break due to arguments over the past month, and on our last day together, we had unprotective sex (we didn’t have sex for 3 weeks at that point). I took a test upon unusual symptoms and missed period, and discovered I am pregnant.
I informed him last week and I think he’s still in denial. He asked me to go for a scan to confirm so he can tell his parents and he has expressed that he doesn’t think it’s a good time for him, and I should get an abortion. He is not ready for fatherhood and doesn’t see that we can work things out in the future. I encouraged him to reconcile, not as a couple, but as civil adults to make communications easier in the following weeks or potentially years. He refused and told me I should talk to people for advice. I have spoke to my best friends and I don’t have a solution, I don’t know what to do. I don’t want my child to grow up without a father figure but I also don’t want to have this kind of father in its life. I only had one sex partner my whole life so there is no possibility that he is not the father. I’m personally also not ready to raise the child as a single mother without support. If this pregnancy happened few months back, I would not have the same doubts I currently have. I considered abortion after the conversation with him but I don’t want to end my own child’s life because of our unresolved issues. My family don’t live in the same country as me, so I will not have day-to-day help. My friends are supportive but I don’t think it’s realistic for me to raise the baby without a partner. I have all sorts of concerns and I am not in the right headspace at the moment to be thinking clearly.
For context - I (28F) moved in to live with my boyfriend (30M) after 2 years of dating, we barely had any disagreements throughout the first 2 years, we were both in love, and decided that we were ready for our next stages in life so we moved in together. We were certain that we were compatible despite our differences in interests - we are very different people in the best ways, and grew to love and learn of each other’s character. Our lives are very intertwined, and our respective friend groups are very involved in our lives. We had a healthy lifestyle and socially active ever since we got together.
Fast forward to 2 months ago, we were discussing wedding plans. We previously agreed that we would move in together > get engaged > married > have children. I expressed that I didn’t really want to move in together until I get a reassurance from him this is for lifetime, he told me not to worry because he already had plans to propose to me and it’s ok to move in first and then get married as we are living together. He suggested that we could plan the wedding first because weddings take at least a year ahead to plan, and the proposal will happen sometime later this year. Our first big argument came because of his unrealistic expectations and lack of logic and sense in event planning (he was never really a planner or an organized person, I do most of our travel logistics and household plannings).
Few weeks later I discovered that he was withholding his plans made with a colleague that I didn’t particularly liked, I felt strange that he had to hide this fact from me. I don’t believe that he was disloyal or anything but I didn’t understand why he lied. I exploded, demanded to check his phone, then I discovered more things he was hiding from me, including going on walks during lunch with the same female colleagues. I also discovered the group chat with his boys where they were making jokes about us getting married. I was livid and we argued over our definition of commitment, I questioned his maturity and his intentions to settle. He told me he was ready to settle with me, and suggested that we go pick out rings the next day.
The real issue came in when he called his parents to ask them for their blessing in our marriage. His parents disapproved, and called me materialistic, questioned my family, my social circle, my religion, my political views
 etc. My boyfriend could’ve easily justified every one of the points they have made about me but I guess he was too in shock of their response to defend me. His parents never really agreed with our relationship to begin with, they never wanted him to date and thinks he should be focused on his career at this age rather than dating, despite this we spent every holidays and celebrations the last two years with his family and we thought they have grown to accept me as they had been very friendly with me, I guess it was all a facade. I was disappointed and lashed out at him. And somehow our previous issue with his ‘commitment’ was brushed under the rug.
He says he cannot propose to me when he doesn’t have his parents blessing. I gave him a deadline the next day to make a decision, if he cannot talk it out with his parents then I will have to let this end. He came back the next day, and told me his dad apologized and would like to reconcile with me. And he came back to tell me he was ready to settle.
The following weeks we continued to have smaller disagreements and I was still uncomfortable to face his parents, as he would return home a different person, and treats me worse every time after every time he had met up with his parents. Before all these issues, we had made plans to visit my grandparents and his extended family who were both living in the same country. On our way there, I expressed that I would want to remain with my grandparents and not join his family trip as I’m not ready to face his parents yet. He tried to persuade me to go and that his parents will apologize to me, but I was still very uncomfortable. I told him I’ll only go if he can give me reassurance and that I will only go on another family trip with him if he can give me the status as his fiancĂ© before I can face them. He said if he were to propose to me now he cannot face his parents, and he told his parents he has plans to propose to me on this trip, but they insisted that they should reconcile with me before he can propose as I would potentially “steal their grandchildren away from them” in the future if we don’t make up. He told me he even brought the ring with him but he can’t do it. I walked away from him, I felt so betrayed and lost in a foreign country. I got very emotional and told him he made feel worthless and want to end my life. I was not in the right headspace after a whole month of torment and I didn’t have the energy to reason with him any longer. I gave in and proceeded with the rest of our trip.
The day before we went to meet his family, I told him I wanted to go somewhere else instead and I still wasn’t ready. When he was making changes to our tickets, I saw his sister’s message on his phone, saying that it’ll be better in the long run if he sort out the parents issue first and don’t propose to me yet. I snatched his phone and spoke with his sister. After I told her everything, she apologized and gave me the reassurance that their family will treat me with respect and will apologize to me the first thing they see me, and that they just want to reconcile before we move forward to the next stage in life. I felt it was reasonable and reassured after my conversation with her, so I decided to give it a go.
When we did finally meet up with his parents, they pretended as if nothing has happened. Few days later we finally had the ‘conversation’. His dad started off by saying he doesn’t think it’s appropriate for us to get married at the moment, and kept going on about their same points again, he said our relationship hasn’t been long enough for us to decide marriage at this stage. They claimed their comments weren’t a personal attack, they didn’t apologize and said that I was ‘thinking too much’ for this to be a personal attack because it was simply a generalization, then dismissed me for being upset for hearing from my bf because he wasn’t supposed to tell me, and proceeds to keep commenting about me and my friends and how they disagree with their celebrations of weddings.
I respectfully explained we are not having these discussions about marriage out of no where, we have been having discussions on marriage throughout our 2 years. In fact our plans to have children was the basis of our relationship and were his requirements, and we just want to move forward with the next part of our lives. His mom doesn’t think I need to think about having children at this moment and it’s not a good time for us to have children, because she had kids much later in life and apparently so is everyone else, and we shouldn’t be following my ‘timeline’ on when things should be happening. Apparently I should not have such control over the timing of giving birth ‘like a reproduction machine’, and it’s not right to have to set such timeline on how much time I need for recovery and time between having each children. She asks why do we feel the need and so early in life to get married now? And ditch your own families and start your own life.
His dad said I should not decide right now how many kids we need to have and it’s rather in gods hands to decide, and some people are not even be able to have more than 1 kid, I asked him why is this relevant in regards to our plans to have kids
 so I have to listen to god now and have kids without planning? And then he started giving this bs about god and how we are not meant to plan ‘these things’ out in life so specifically. I asked him: What is wrong with being practical and setting realistic goals. He claimed he doesn’t think it’s wrong to have plans but we shouldn’t be so set and ‘controlling’ over our own lives. He has experience and we should listen to the grown ups with experience
 I knew the conversation wasn’t going to get anywhere as soon as he brings religion into this.
My boyfriend just stood there in silence. After the conversation ended we both walked away from his parents, he apologized to me and told me he’s sorry for any of the things his parents have said to me and I didn’t deserve it. He says he won’t listen to his parents anymore, and he knows how to make this right, and he will propose once we return to my grandparent’s place. I didn’t challenge him anymore because I that was the reassurance I needed from him, and I was happy that he was finally able to see his parents for who they are.
The following days of the trip, his dad tried to isolate him from rest of the family to give him the same lecture. Every time he rejoins the group I can see from his expression that their conversation did not go well, I didn’t comment. On the day we returned to my grandparent’s home, he told me he can’t follow through with his promises. And his dad told him he should feel guilty for making promises to me and be pressured into marriage. Somehow this convinced himself into thinking he’s not ready for marriage all along. I walked away from him and we spent 3 days apart before our flight to return home.
On our last day, we met up for closure, talked through what happened and we had sex. I told him I wasn’t ready to fly back home with him and I didn’t want to fall back into the vicious cycle of arguments, and that we should have some time to cool things down before we reconnect. We agreed to give each other some space and he wants to learn more about himself before he makes commitment to me as he doesn’t want to disappoint me again.
A week after he got back, he told me he wants to move out of our co-rented apartment, and he wants to break lease. I was a bit confused because I thought he wanted to work on himself, and him moving out essentially is an indication of a break up to me. He said if I don’t let him move out, I’m not giving him space to work on himself. I didn’t really have an option so I agreed. We didn’t talk afterwards.
3 weeks later, I missed my period, I took a test and was positive.
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2024.05.14 12:33 GovernmentActual6358 Got prostitute pregnant, reality is starting to set in

I've been seeing this prostitute for a little over 3 years now, we met in 2020 and early on we stopped using condoms, I know, reckless, I know, stupid but I never caught anything and nothing ever happened so we continued. She only speaks French and I only speak English so I'd been using google chat to communicate with her when we met up.
This woman has robbed me a couple times and then disappeared only for me to get horny and track her down just to meet up for sex again.
This keeps happening until very recently, we met up again and she says that the last time we say eachother about 4 weeks earlier, she got pregnant. I'm stunned, mostly in disbelief.
Surely if she was pregnant she'd be pressing me more for money or for something, any sort of angle that you'd usually think of. I leave that time mostly not believing her story but curious. I come back again after we agree to meet up at night, in my pocket I have a birth control test that I had bought in secret. My line of thinking being that if this is just some lie I'll either get a negative test out of her or some defensive behavior.
I show her the test and say I need to see it, and she just? doesn't argue at all? almost tiredly accepts and goes to the bathroom to do the test, waits a bit then comes and sets it in front of me. Then we begin texting on the translator to eachother, she says she feels lost right now, both happy and sad, and that she's told some of her family and they plan to support her if she has the child, she says she isn't sure if she is going to keep it or abort, but before anyone comes in saying she's a prostitute and she the father could be anyone and she's trying to just pin it on me, that angle makes sense on paper, of course that's what I thought it was at first, just some elaborate lie
but no, the timeline makes sense, she's been a low traffic escort and I was the only one stupid enough to continuously sleep with her without a condom. She is pregnant that is entirely true, but the thing that makes me believe that this is mine and that she is not using this as some angle to extort money out of me is that she has actually been so gracious when we met, no malice, she just calmly explained that she has family around her to help and that I'd have my right as the father, she hasn't pressed me for money just calmly asked for some modest assistance and said that she understands if im not able to be part of the childs life, she comforted me in all my shock and that's what sort of cemented that this is real.
And to those saying get a paternity test, if she plans to go through with giving birth I plan to but also should mention that we are different races and I am one that isn't plentiful in the area she lives/works in. If that child comes out mixed race I'd be able to visually tell if it's mine just due to the logistics of things but yeah I would also get a paternity test. She has a few brothers and none of them have come threatening me, none of them are trying to get my information to extort money out of me, they were all just calm and trying to plan for the next steps
If you're hoping I am distraught with guilt, I am. If you are hoping I learned my lesson of recklessness I did but I haven't seen yet just how many people needed to be affected for me to learn this lesson
submitted by GovernmentActual6358 to Advice [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:32 eatmytoesyumyum Can't put horshoe ring back into my nostril

Hey so my nostril has been pierced for about 2 months or more, for the first two weeks i had a horshoe/septum ring in it because that's the style i wanted. Unfortunately my school decided to tell me to put a retainer in or face a suspension so that's what I did. It's healed fine with the retainer, and I'm nearly finished school so i tried to switch it back last night, but I could not get the horshoe ring back in, it's definitely not the size as I'm pretty sure this retainer is 14g and the ring is 16g, I'm thinking maybe since the retainer isn't a curved shape it healed over and isn't the right shape for a ring anymore? Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.
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2024.05.14 12:32 merabell91 Does it Get Easier?

I (22F) just split from my (23M) boyfriend of a year. He is not the first person I have been with, but he is my first love. He is the first person to make me feel valued. We had our minor arguments and miscommunication, as every couple does, however a few weeks ago it took a turn.
Let me say, I'm not perfect. I would shut down and be petty after arguments, which I now see and I am working on. He wasn't perfect either, as he struggled with confrontation. He would sometimes just try to keep me happy with gifts, showering me with my favorite gifts (flowers, stuffed animals, trinkets from my favorite movies/shows, etc.)
We usually talked out these issues, and we would say that we want each other so we could work through it. I felt that I was growing, but I struggled with depression and anxiety that shut me down. He also struggled with anxiety, however he has a great support system, with tons of friends and close familial relationships, meanwhile I come from a broken family, scattered friends, etc.
He crossed a boundary when we were intimate, and I could not say that I was uncomfortable, I froze. He felt terrible after, and was very embarrassed.
In loving him, I immediately forgave him. I said I was uncomfortable after. I went home, and the next day after we agreed to meet because we both needed support. I couldn't tell anyone, except my therapist, same with him, so we met up to offer support for each other. He gave me a card saying, "it will be awkward but we will get through this," along with a few gifts like a preserved flower, a few gift cards, which I took reluctantly, feeling like he was trying to buy my forgiveness back. I told him I felt, "violated," as that is the word my therapist gave me. I didn't know any better, and I wish I could take it back, because it broke him. He cried, while I sat there awkwardly, I did not know what to do in that situation. We ended up saying that we wanted to get through this together, but we needed space.
We took a few days of space, but it got to me. I have an anxious attachment style, whereas he has an avoidant attachment style. We usually call every night, even if it's just a simple, "goodnight," but he did not want to. My sleep schedule has been affected ever since. He said he could not bear to see me, due to the embarrassment and shame he felt. I eventually could not take the distance, and asked him why we couldn't go back to normal, as I had forgave him. He then told me that he was hurting too, which I couldn't see until after (I know this was my fault and I am beating myself over it.)
Two days later, I DoorDashed him food, and when he got it, he called me saying that we needed to talk. He then came over and broke up with me, and I cannot handle it. I begged him, saying we could work through it, and all relationships take work. He then said he took full accountability for the situation, but he could not give me a relationship that I deserved, and it wasn't fair to either of us. He said I was too immature and he lost trust in me to be able to communicate when I am uncomfortable.( I have only froze one time, and I usually was very communicative when I was upset.)
The memories are flooding my brain, as I went to his house 3 or 4 times a week, stayed over on the weekends, and basically did everything with him because all my other friends were busy. He was my best friend and my everything.
When we broke up, I asked him if he lied on the card, that we would get through it. He just looked at me and said, "I'm sorry." All of the cards that he wrote me saying he wanted to do this with me, and move forward, were all lies. When i was gathering his stuff from my room, he kept trying to call me "Baby" or "Babe" and it broke me.
I have reached out to friends and they have been really great with what they can offer, as we are all still in school or in a career. My sleep has been affected, and finals are coming up next week.
I can't do anything without thinking about him. I feel like a part of me has died.
Essentially, does it get better? Do we have a shot? I know there are things we need to work on, but the fact that I cannot stop thinking about it has to mean something, right?
submitted by merabell91 to Christianity [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:32 HeavyMetalTechBoy Every top-fix toilet seat I've had has started to move - I hate them! HELP.

Right, please can someone help me.
I've had a number of top fix, soft close toilet seats, all of which have started to move after a while, becoming wobbly.
Yes, I've tried to tighten the screws. Some of them the screws never tighten, some of them do (but still the seat moves around).
On our upstairs toilet I've tried two different types ofreplacement fixings, both of which were the same.
And we've recently had a new downstairs toilet fitted, which started to move 1 week after being fitted. I asked the plumbejoiner if he could sort it out, and he said "oh yeh they're all a bit of a pain".
I absolutely hate these types of toilet seats. I've never had problems with the traditional bottom fix ones. I would love to be able to use these, but unfortunately the two toilets we have at home are both top fix.
It seems the fittings just don't get a tight enough grip - they're supposed to work like a wall plug, right? They all slip and slide around eventually.
Am I doing something wrong? Is it possible to have a top fix toilet seat that doesn't move?
I'm pretty good with DIY, I don't mind getting my hands dirty. I've tiled a full bathroom before, I'm decent with drills, I give everything a go.
But these toilet seats are getting the better of me.
Have I just got cheap, crap toilets?
HELP.
submitted by HeavyMetalTechBoy to DIY [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:31 ackmaral Could this be 4 month sleep regression?

LO been good at sleeping last two weeks. Going to bed at 6pm, sleeping by 7pm. Wakes every 3.5-4 hours for feed 3-4oz and goes back to sleep right away. Last two nights she started waking up every 1.5-2 hours crying and feeding only 1-1.5oz and go back to sleep. But tonight going back to sleep got very hard. And right now she woke up at 2am, had only 1.5oz and it’s been 1.5 hour she is not going back to sleep. Is this is 4 month sleep regression? She’s 14 weeks btw so 3.5 month. Any tips and advices? How did you deal with this?
submitted by ackmaral to newborns [link] [comments]


2024.05.14 12:30 Jhonjournalist After Wall Street hardly moved, Asian stocks mixed in quiet trade

After Wall Street hardly moved, Asian stocks mixed in quiet trade
https://preview.redd.it/v7mqjugbdd0d1.jpg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ea88cff573d1f669881c37c77d4e75ad93a32f38
  • Asian equities were neutral in advance of the publication of inflation data.
  • The Nasdaq composite increased by 0.3% to 16,338.24, while the Dow Jones Industrial Average decreased by 0.2% to 39,431.51.
  • With a surge that was evocative of its frenzied actions from three years prior, GameStop shot up 74.4%.
In quiet trading on Tuesday, Asian equities were neutral in advance of the publication of inflation data, while U.S. market indices saw minimal movement. Although Australia’s S&P/ASX 200 fell 0.2% to 7,731.40, Japan’s benchmark Nikkei 225 shed early gains and was trading less than 0.1% higher at 38,194.38.
The Kospi in South Korea barely moved, rising less than 0.1% to 2,726.76; the Hang Seng in Hong Kong increased less than 0.1% to 19,115.78; and the Shanghai Composite fell over 0.3% to 3,139.89. To determine the pace of economic expansion and the value of the currency, investors were keeping an eye out for inflation indicators.

Today stock

The S&P 500 fluctuated between little gains and losses over the day, ultimately edging lower by less than 0.1% to 5,221.42. The Nasdaq composite increased by 0.3% to 16,338.24, while the Dow Jones Industrial Average decreased by 0.2% to 39,431.51.
Biopharmaceutical company Incyte saw an 8.6% increase in value following its announcement that it would repurchase up to $2 billion worth of stock, increasing the amount of earnings that each remaining share is entitled to. With a surge that was evocative of its frenzied actions from three years prior, GameStop shot up 74.4%.
After a challenging April, stocks have generally rebounded this month on renewed optimism that inflation may abate enough to persuade the Federal Reserve to lower its benchmark interest rate later in the year.
When the US government releases its most recent monthly report on the level of inflation experienced by consumers nationwide on Wednesday, it will serve as a crucial litmus test for those aspirations. This week’s statistics also include sales at US stores and the inflation wholesalers are witnessing.
Expectations have increased that the economy can avoid “stagflation” and reach the bull’s eye, which is the point at which it cools down enough to contain inflation while remaining robust enough to avert a severe recession. This week, the Biden administration is anticipated to declare that duties on Chinese-imported medical goods, electronics, electric cars, and solar equipment will be increased.
Learn More: https://worldmagzine.com/stock-market/after-wall-street-hardly-moved-asian-stocks-mixed-in-quiet-trade/
submitted by Jhonjournalist to u/Jhonjournalist [link] [comments]


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