My boyfriend of seven years and I are finally officially planning our wedding. Although we aren't engaged yet, we want to plan in advance especially considering the costs. He did mention that he would propose on our 10th year, so we are building up our funds currently. For now, we are still looking for venues, photographers and videographers, mariachi and bandas, catering, and everything in between. This post is also to help me write things out to see how much more planning we have to do. Here's what we've talked about so far:
- Guest List - Our current guest count was bigger than we thought it was, around 81, 104 for wiggle room in case some people bring plus ones. Most of our guests will be family and the rest are friends from college and high school who have been waiting for this moment. We might add more people in the future but I would rather have a "small" intimate wedding with close ones we still talk to. is 100 people considered a lot?
- Wedding Venue - Our dream is to live in a novela on our wedding day. We want to have a venue either at a ranch/farm or somewhere that has a barn-style venue. We live in Georgia so it may not be hard, but it'll be hard in the Atlanta area. If anyone has any recommendations let me know. We have no budget yet so we may be flexible once we save up. We want to have hotels or accommodation nearby since most of his family is traveling from out of state and some of our friends live a couple hours away. Hopefully, we find one where we can stay late, like maybe 2 in the morning, and have alcohol. Are there venues that actually allow you to stay that late?
- Rings - He got me a ring for my 15 / Quinceanera, and I absolutely love it. It's a white center stone in the middle with two sapphires (my birthstone) as side stones. In the middle where the gallery is, there's a heart. The tiny details are what I love about it and he wants to get a similar ring for me. He is very adamant about spending money on diamonds. Although I appreciate the gesture, I really encourage him to spend it on a moissanite instead. Even though he tells me no, I'll let it slide as long as he's sure about it. I believe his budget is around 2-2.5k. I showed him my pinterest board on what style and shape rings I'm into, and he has a very good grasp on that. I also plan to surprise him with his wedding band so hopefully, it's something he'll love.
- Dress and Suit - I plan on having something flowy with Mexican embroidery. I don't plan on getting a ballgown or mermaid silhouette. I'll probably have to get one custom-made if I don't find one to my liking. I'm not sure if It'll be sleeveless or not, I'm very self-conscious of my underarms and my arms in general. My boyfriend might want to go as a charro or I'll also suggest a nice suit with embroidery to match so he can wear a cowboy hat and boots. Or he could change at the venue into the suit now that I think about it.
- Padrinos - We don't have a set list of who would be padrinos for what, but we're fairly certain some of our family members are more than willing to help out with things.
- Music - I'm certain my side of the family will be expecting a mariachi, so with every party and Mexican restaurant I go to, I go mainly to see how the mariachi plays. So far I have one in mind and even got their business card. If we do have a cocktail hour, I'm making a playlist on my Spotify which I currently use to study. It's mainly going to be used as background noise as family mingles and settles in. We're still not sure if we'll be going out and getting a banda, but if we do, we're looking. As for DJs, we're not sure where to start other than going to family parties to see them live. So far we've had misses.
- Catering - We of course want to have our delicious Mexican food for everyone to enjoy. We are just not sure if we want to have a big budget for catering and offer a buffet, hire a taco stand, or make the food ourselves. It'll be a lot if we did it ourselves and I want my family to enjoy the days leading up to it and not be stressed if we made enough or if they get fatigued from making so many batches of food. I also want to have an antojitos station for small snacks and fruit cups for in-between cocktail hour, food, and cake.
- Decoration - I plan on DIYing as much as I can, even the centerpieces. I love being crafty, so the majority of the decorations I have in mind can be DIYed and done in advance in the next 2-3 years. I plan on having custom-made papel picado from a Mexican vendor as well as Talavera flower vases from a Mexican pottery shop for centerpieces. And yes, I do plan on letting guests take the centerpieces lol.
- Wedding cake - we're not too sure about wedding cake, but we are looking forward to sampling and rating the cake flavors together when the time comes.
- Video/Photographer - There's a videographer who does stunning movie-like productions based in Texas but I'm wondering if that's too extra for our size of a wedding. Usually, when we hire photographers, such as in my 15era, it was kind of mediocre I would have rather have a friend take the photos and I'll edit them myself.
If there's anything I missed or any suggestions please let me know, I want to be super prepared and make sure we save up enough money. Things could change in the next 2 years so I would rather be safe than sorry. Also, does anyone know about how much I should expect to spend on a wedding this size with everything I just mentioned? I want to be realistic and see if we can afford it or stick with a backyard wedding at my future in-laws' house.
Hey
Relationships! Long time lurker, you guys have given awesome advice to others so I entrust you with my story now
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend, (We will call him Mark) for a little over a year. He's great, we are great, we have the typical struggles as with any relationship but I truely believe he's the one. I could go on forever about how amazing this man is to me but thats not what we're here for....
Backstory: Before me, Mark was dating another woman, Tina (32/33 y/o???) , who he met through knowing her family. Tina was married to another man but divorced and then moved back home to the state we live in and restarted with her family. Like I said Mark knew her family before Tina and him dated, he met them through their bowling league and has been around Tina's sister, Kristen and Kristen's husband John, for 10+ years. Mark is Kristen and John's children's God father, he was the Padrino at her daughter's quinceanera, watched two of her kids be born, helped them with school work, watched them grow up, etc. When Tina moved back home they dated on and off for a few years but from my understanding it was very unhealthy. They broke up and a few months later Mark and I started dating. I have seen Kristen and John a few times throughout my relationship with Mark, the first time Kristen gave me a very cold shoulder along with a few glares (understandably) but Mark talked to her and its been very positive from there. I've never met her kids though.
We recently ran into Kristen and John this weekend and she was asking Mark to come around her children more, saying they have been asking about him and her 18 y/o daughter is graduating HS this June and wants him there. I was not personally invited to this event but I assume by association I am allowed to go. (It's also the high school I graduated from so it would be neat to see some old teachers) Kristen also talked about having other events in the future with friends from our bowling league and wanting Mark to go. I was never made to feel like I was invited but I also wasn't made to feel like I wasn't invited.
My problem is this....Do I or do I not go to the graduation? I absolutely trust Mark to go and be around Tina, I will admit to having a teensy bit of jealously deep inside but I'm not worried about it and know that I trust Mark beyond any doubt so my own worries need to be put aside (this is just typical woman jealousy's that I know will fade into nothing). I just don't want to be the outsider and shunned if I do go. I don't want to deal with a negative vibe from Tina or her family. I also don't want to be a negative person to them, more mainly Tina. By going to this event I can open up the idea of going to other events in the future because I don't want to be absent in something Mark values so much because of an ex. I also won't make Tina feel like she can't be around her family because I will be there.
Mark said that he has been avoiding hanging out with Kristen, John and their kids because he values our relationship too much but that he also doesn't want to cut the kids out of his life. If they mean that much to him I would like to be open to them too. Mark would be happy if I tried but I'm concerned and unsure of how to feel or even try. Thanks again for the help/advice!
***Please believe I am not worried about Mark being around Tina, this post isn't about my struggle with the "other woman" its simply do you think its ok to try and be involved in her life and if so how? I obviously can't tell you how Tina will feel but I don't want anything bad like drama, emotional, physical, overall negativity to come of it.
tl;dr: S/O was involved with ex/s family before they dated but still wants to be around her family now. He has been invited to an event in June and I'm unsure if I can/want to go too? They mean a lot to him and I want to him being happy. I'm not worried about the ex, just her family.
~Edit~ grammar