It's been 1.4 years since i bought my pixel 7 and i feel the phone is getting slower. New updates doesn't bring anything new even tho both tensor 3 & 2 are the same. Camera idk why but it feel like it's not that clear now maybe photo processing is changed and old camera apps was good in which you get temperature control, white balance & highlights control on screen. Now it's not that good experience plus tensor should be dominant in AI where Samsung is now doing better.

18 year old Male. I noticed a bump on my lip recently, Note I haven't had unprotected sex ever. But when I look back at photos for the past few years, I noticed the bump was there. It is located in the middle of where my upper lips meet. I'm confused if this is a type of cancer. Or something natural. For more information I spend most of my time working outside and its been like that since I was fourteen.
https://imgur.com/q9Iw9hs
https://imgur.com/hKEd7TD

(Reddit won't let me post photos for some reason today so here's a link: https://photos.app.goo.gl/NmSQhpoZ8uBWnLEW7)
I'm fixing up this house. They were using this as-is (washing machine in the basement going straight into a floor drain). If this is perfectly fine, I'll leave it, just doesn't seem right to me. This is an old house though, so idk.
I fixed up the kitchen up above and used an AAV on the sink. My thought was to cut out the pictured 45°, switch it to a Wye and put an AAV going up. Then a sani-tee below that with a clean-out trap and then a standpipe going up for the washer to drain. (Drawing attached)
Will this work? Is there a better way? Excuse my poor scrap wood drawing. Thanks in advance for any direction.

Hello, Thanks for stopping by, posting this again, already got a few interested users, looking for more as it helps. If you are looking to thrift apparels for personal use or to resell but don't know of any good places you can find them, I can help. Have been thrifting for personal use for the past 4-5 years and have found many gems at steal prices (Mostly 150-200 a piece). Brands include H&M, Zara, Vero Moda, Zara Basic, Forever 21, Jennyfer, Global Desi, Old Navy, Shein and many more. The apparels could be New with Tags, New Without Tags (Based on appearance) or pre loved. Needless to say this is for women only
DM Me if, -You can decide quickly whether to buy or to pass based on brand name, photo & size label. As it will be a live haul, being responsive & quick is essential, being slow spoils the flow. No compulsions to buy. -You wish to checkout what apparels are found during such hauls, no compulsions to buy -You need apparels for your wardrobe/personal use or to resell or need a wardrobe overhaul on a budget -You need thrifted apparels that do not have defects but don't know where to find them -Wish to experience authentic Mumbai street apparel shopping -College student looking for budget shopping -You understand all of the above & are comfortable on a women only whatsapp group
Don't DM me if, -You are expecting ironed, ready to wear apparels, these will need a wash + ironing upon arrival, no exceptions (This is thrifting lol) -You are expecting men's apparels -You are expecting accessories, bags, belts and other things -You are expecting apparels that will be the perfect fit, its a gamble, I can share the size if mentioned on the merchandise, cannot help beyond that
May speak with you over call to make you a part of smaller group, so men/creeps please don't even try, this is for women only.
Thanks, -delicate_sparkle

At the wisdom of others suggestions, reposting.
Ethnicity: Chinese, born and raised in Canada. Not that it matters.
Myers-Brigg (if you’re into that): INFJ-T. Would prefer someone with a different MBTI. I’ve found it doesn’t work for me if someone’s MBTI is too similar.
University of Calgary undergrad; now I work from home.
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Open to any ethnicity, I’m more concerned about the contents of someone’s character rather than the color of the skin. Someone in North America, particularly in Canada. I can work from anywhere though hence being open to LDR in NA.
What I do: church, read, meditate, cold showers, daily exercise consisting of squash, badminton, calisthenics, skiing (occasionally), writing, the pursuit of wisdom, saving myself for marriage (if you know what I mean), pursuing purpose, traditional values, leading first and leading positive in finding high quality friends, changing up habits once in a while. I prefer to be a low profile person in all aspects of life wherever possible.
What I don’t do: bars, clubs, partying, 420, drugs, alcohol, coffee, video games, meaningless entertainment/pleasure, high quantities of shallow friendships based on cliques/insecurity/fear of being alone, keeping up with the joneses, materialism, modern self-centered values, tattoos, piercings, posting on social media, addicted to phone (to the point of being in social situations and constantly on the phone and not even talking to anyone), selfies
-Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm; Proverbs 13:20
-When we get old, we measure our life based on love, not money, status, power, fame, or likes
I’m love-driven, wholesome, loyal, trustworthy, mildly old-fashioned, hopeless romantic, kind, family-oriented – so definitely looking to have biological kids, probably not adopted. Would prefer a Christian aged 18-29 with traditional values, a good heart, kind, chastity, selfless, virtuous character that has saved themselves for marriage. The one that wants to be in one of those marriages that happily last 50 years and has the growth/beginners mindset necessary to become the person to do so. If we can respect and trust each other, then that is a solid foundation to start on. Very few people have the patience, humility, responsibility, and self-sacrifice needed to be in a marriage that goes to old age in our generation now. I hope to be the exception and find one too; hence why I’m making this post(s).
Through my experience in dating, reading, learning from others, I have some other criteria that I didn’t list here that if interested we can message about.
Not a fan of social media.
If you made it this far then some common values might be shared. I'm deciding to reluctantly leave a link to a photo of myself here as looks do play some part https://imgur.com/a/8f74Pq2

I wish for a better memory of my mom
Losing a parent at a young age leaves an indelible mark on one's memory. I was just 8 years old when my beloved mom passed away from uterus cancer at the tender age of 44. Those final three years of her life were spent amidst the sterile halls of hospitals. I was only 5 when she was active and looked like my mother, but after cancer took over, she no longer resembled herself. As a result, I don’t remember her much.
There are only two things I remember very clearly about my mom and me. One time, when a relative came to visit my sick mother, bringing fruits and sweets, I remember eagerly pleading with her to let me try a snack. However, she patiently held off until our guest had departed, and then she threw all the snacks across the room, getting very mad.
Another memory, tinged with mischief, revolves around a misdeed I committed just before her passing, either the day before or a couple of days before. I did something naughty or bad, and her reaction was swift and stern, asking my older brother and sister to catch me and beat me very badly.
These memories are all I have left of her—a few pieces of a life cut short. It's painful to admit that I struggle to recall even the contours of her face, relying instead on faded photographs to conjure a semblance of her presence. Whenever I feel sad or lonely, especially anything related to mothers, I just look at a photo of her with my father when she was young.
I wish I had a better memory, or at least that she would come to me in my dreams. The worst part is, she doesn’t even appear in my dreams. And as I navigate the winding path of grief and remembrance, I hold onto the hope that one day, her presence will grace my dreams, offering comfort in the darkness.
In my longing, I ache for real connections to her memory. I want cherished moments on video, snippets of her laughter, and activities we did together, all preserved forever. I yearn for a collection of memories, a treasure trove of moments frozen in time, to ease the pain of her absence.

Successor : u/Intel81994
Hi,
I first found this subreddit and Neville's works in 2018 so I thought I'd share my success/experiences.
I've never posted here, only lurked... daily. I often see people post tiny wins in here like manifesting a test result or a few hundred dollars. I don't see many huge wins except occasionally, or multi-year life changing creations.
Well, I'm not where I want to be bc my goals have gotten a lot bigger, but I've come a long way and finding this work in 2018 changed my life so I want to share with you how.
Not to discourage, but small wins are nothing compared to the deep life changes and incredible abundance you can create in knowing who you really are - just think - there are people out there, several, who own $10M+ houses, multi-millionaires, many came from nothing.
I'm not saying that's the only thing worth striving for or even the source of joy, of course. But my point is anything you want, someone else out there has done it, they are just humans like myself and you.
So here's how my life turned around since 2018 and what I created. The HOW I did so is no different than what you already read on this sub every day.
Neville has been my favorite teacher and this is the MAIN sub I have read over the last few years. I own all of his books and have read them several times.
I regard his methods as most influential for me. This may come off as some motivational story but truth is I use Neville's methods daily and always try to understand and control my beliefs to grow.
Here is how my life changed completely after DOING the work:

• MONEY/TRAVEL : I went from -50k in debt running my own online fitness coaching business at my lowest point not knowing how I would pay rent (long story but I was young and not skilled enough in business at this time to really build a team and 7 figure business like I wanted),

to acquiring amazing skills being an intrapreneur working in a small startup online with a terrific mentor (I manifested this exact position with SATS), traveled the world a crazy amount in the exact places I had wanted to and met a ton of cool people (SATS), over 27 countries now, and grew my net worth to over 250k from 2018-2021.
To my current goals, this is really nothing now and I now surround myself with people doing a ton more than me. So I'm not preaching here, it's just levels to the game right.
I now work professionally in the crypto industry, but also have skills and knowledge to a few types of online businesses in the consulting & marketing space, as well as make money from markets/trading, which is a great vehicle because there are effectively no limits.
I can live anywhere I want, have plenty of cushion and money to live mostly how I want (have larger goals now), have time freedom as well, and most of all, love growth and feel great striving for more. I did SATS to get my current gig.
I've also been trading the last 2 years and no it's not easy, in fact you're competing against algorithms and the best minds in the world so the learning curve is quite steep.
Trading is not easy money, but the potential is there. Besides, trading is just one vehicle, it's not value-additive to the market like businesses are, so I believe it's best used in conjunction with a business/job, and investing longer term is better.
Anyway I turned <40k into ~350K in crypto, and a separate stock portfolio last year.
And yes a lot of that crypto growth was market timing and luck with everything going on, monetary policy and all, and I know people who turned less into several million and also plenty who got liquidated and lost millions. I still spent a lot of time and skill to create that, point is I created all of it in various forms.

• FITNESS/HEALTH: I achieved a more fit and better body than 98% of men have. This was a result of hard work plus these methods and was in 2018 when I decided to undergo a bodybuilding prep for a photoshoot. Great size, leanness, abs, I had been lifting for years but never gotten this in shape.

It was not easy, but I looked incredible, and the exact city/water background scene I had visualized for the photos happened. You can scroll to my IG posts from early 2018 for pics proof.
My health is impeccable and I've for sure made other physical changes, and I think I somehow changed my gf's looks to become better over time too. She was always quite cute though. I'm still very much in shape but now do yoga daily for last few years, as well as lifting.

• LOCATION/LIVING: I manifested the EXACT view I used to visualize in the center of my major city, with a gorgeous view of the ocean and city both, for a great price and have lived here for last 3 years now. In a luxury high rise. I can see ships and yachts right outside my balcony every day. It's literally grander than I even knew to imagine just 5 years ago.
  
• MORE FINANCE: Over the last 2 years my investments and more were doing so well sometimes - not always - that I often was able to have some months making 20-40k, point is I was not worried about work.
  

I also believe parallel realities are real and I used to visualize Bitcoin going to 50k back in 2019 when it had stayed below <10k for 2 years. This was not all due to bitcoin, but rather all sorts of investments, but yes crypto as well.
Some was luck, some was skill and work. All was my creation. I also got quite decent at trading and managing a portfolio that I not only managed to publicly call the exact day of the market TOP in november 2021 but also sniped the bottom in July. Intuition plus knowledge.
So I kept this money, it is not bleeding out in my portfolio with the market. I've devoted a LOT into mastering this craft but again, self concept and Neville helped.
I got hacked for 60k-70k a few months back and chose to give it new meaning and manifested a career change to crypto industry, landing a position making over 10k per month (I'm not happy with this at my current standards of income, but I'm grateful), that I am growing to 20k per month of active income now with other streams.
What's interesting in my recent career manifestation is I decided I want a position that basically pays me to do what I already do (I was independently researching and managing a multi-6 figure crypto portfolio... over a quarter million dollars combined money that I was managing. )
I now get paid a full time 6 fig salary to do nothing extra from what I was already doing and barely work on the actual job with plenty of time for other stuff.
I just decided it was done and that's it. Also of course it's remote... knowing what I know, I will only consider remote jobs (never worked in a physical office and I've actually never had a w2 job before this, always doing sales and stuff or my own thing).
I have been working on increasing my standard to 25k per month minimum of active income generation. Had a lot of ideas come through. I’m just not the type to have a job I think but I have to figure out what I can build again.
Compared to who I want to be at a later date that’s also nothing much. Again, levels to the game.
Now also working on growing a business in this space. This hack event was pretty traumatic but I now see how I 100% manifested it. And I can choose to also create something far greater out of the event now.
With every job I've ever had, I've never worked in an office. I've only ever been remote or online because this is the only thing I was willing to accept. Being a digital nomad has been my norm since I graduated college.
Be specific in what you want and do not settle.
I went to a top 5 US public university and even manifested myself to lead a large pre-med club on campus (I was a pre med student) before I knew Neville. I'm now very glad I chose to go my own route instead of medicine for several reasons beyond scope of this post but anyway.

• SP: Manifested my SP (gf) back in 2018 and we have a great relationship going on 6 years now (together since 2016). I focus more on self love and feeling I AM God rather than seeking it externally. My consciousness and inner connection is my source of sustenance.
  
• Honestly there are so many other crazy little things I can't possibly keep track. Every day I have synchronicities like crazy still. I don't give them much meaning but just take it to mean that I am aligned.
  

My best mental model/tips

• Delude yourself into knowing that imagination is MORE real than the 3d. The 3d is 'old news.' Meaning it's a shadow world. The real creation is happening in your imagination, and there is a time lag in this physical world.

Live in your imagination and tune out anything that does not serve keeping you in an optimal state where you feel in control. The more you focus on things that are meant to distract you or displease you, which state do you create from?

• I do SATS during the day, works fine for me, I don't think it matters much if day/night, but you need to do it. Follow a guided hypnosis session to get deeper into trance first if it helps.
  
• Act and trust deeply that life is leading you to what you want, and the meaning you give to events is literally what molds your future. Choose empowering meanings. Stop being a victim.
  

Make a resolve to never think of yourself as a victim of forces out there, the economy, evil people, whatever it is. You want to control your reality then act like it internally.

• Make a daily routine checklist and stick to it so you internally feel in control of your reality. Mine is: SATS or revision, meditate or breathwork, EFT or writing, cold shower, no phone in the morning, wake at 6am, and of course I exercise daily in some form. I use a spreadsheet to make sure I hit my routines for the day so I don't be a victim but rather stay in control. This is critical for me.
  
• As long as you occupy the realms of consciousness that you want, the result WILL come via downloads and hunches and thoughts, and insane physical things will happen that will 'seem like it would have happened anyway' so don't worry about the how.
  

Random Musings
The thing with manifesting is we sometimes take a passive route and wait for things to happen to us (and sure this is fine and still works), but think- if you don't grow your mental, emotional, skills container to deal with large amounts of money, or a team, or skills to sell and market and manage money... if you suddenly get 500K or 1M, how are you going to hold on to it?
If you lack personal power and execution skills, say you suddenly win 5M from the lottery, do you have the skills to keep it and make decisions at a level that can fluctuate several millions? It's stressful and requires thinking completely differently.
You have to 'stress test' your consciousness and expand your container.
I know that because I got hacked (stolen) ~70k it means nothing because the version of me who makes multi-7 figures a year deals with fluctuations of multi-6 figures in his portfolio all the time, it's part of the game. and I HAVE dealt with 6 figure fluctuations in my portfolio before this hack so it wasn't super new in that sense.
You know time is not real, it's all happening now, Creation is already finished, so you should also know that the way to 'hack' time is making decisions from a place of the future version of yourself you already are.
Make a commitment to stop playing small and settling for crumbs. Why would you get hung up on the one limited way your ego thinks that abundance has to manifest in your life, or love, instead of just feeling the emotions themselves, knowing it's done, and letting your life color it in in grander ways than you could have imagined.
Funny little manifestations and things happen literally every day that I just take it as reflections of me being in my creative power.
Something crazy/funny that happened was on our last trip, I told my girlfriend 'hey, how funny and weird would it be to see a parrot meowing?' - then next day we sit at a cafe and there is a parrot in a cage outside, meowing loudly. The most bizarre manifestation, I didn't even intend for it, just asked hey would it not be funny. Things like this happen so often, I can't keep track.
There is nothing new to learn. Just do the techniques and do self care rituals and get lost in your work. Feel the feeling of utter abundance and freedom now and it will happen.
We live in an advanced economy with the internet, it has never been easier to start or fund a business compared to even 50 years ago (see interest rates), distribution has never been easier, so if you know these tools, why would you not create the biggest dream you can imagine? Why settle for a free $200?
I realize there are levels people go through however so I don't mean to belittle, but now that I have been through so much and grown, I know there is nothing separating myself from multi millions and VC's and creators of large companies except belief, work, and time in this reality.
I have the knowledge, belief, and skills to not need a job if I don't want one. I can instead offer something to the market and be independent.
I'm telling you this stuff works and is sustainable. You can be as specific as you want and get whatever you want, and trust that with the turns life takes you through, it is a BRIDGE meant to turn you into the person to get and sustain what you say you want. Decide it and it is so.
I am someone who is a first generation American immigrant, my parents moved to the US from India when I was 5 and we had very little here. I grew up 'lower' middle class, and didn't have the best money programming from parents, but I always did well in school.
I KNOW I am going to be the first multi millionaire in my family. It's all in how you think about yourself/self concept and the work you do from that mindset. Do actions and shift your environment in accordance with who you want to be.
I always splurge on self care now and do things like fly business class or pay more for a better room because that's who I internally am. Just find a way to produce more and let it flow instead of shrinking yourself to be someone you’re not in your 4D
I don't try to scrimp and penny pinch, I let money flow. Even though getting stolen 70k was traumatic, oh well, I chose to give it a better, empowering meaning and my reality shifted.
That's all I have to say. Do the work. Stop procrastinating with learning. All the teachers, scripture, it's all the same Truth at the core. Learning is fine because you learn different mental models at different points of your life but you need to do the work.
I've been fortunate to not only have explored TONS of teachers and books in this realm, you name it I've probably read it or have a copy, I've also HAD mentors and WORKED directly under multi millionaires older and more experienced than me who know this work very well and knew Neville specifically, and it's the real deal. I did sales for someone in the online coaching space was was very well off and had decades of success and spoke of Neville very often, it was really cool.
Proof of the Law
I don't know what more proof you need that the Law is real. All religions throughout eternity have known this, Neville just distilled the same Truth through his own methods that work really well in my opinion and I personally love his interpretation of scripture.
The most successful people in the world are usually consciously (and some unconsciously) doing these same actions. Just do the work and focus on it coming from a good place of knowing that it's done. You don't need to know HOW but you just need to know the plane is going to somehow land one day.
I just come back to Neville every time, because his methods are simple and philosophies work well for how I think. I've done tons of psychedelic mushrooms over the years which luckily made me very open to this sort of thinking, before that I was very rigid and too '3d scientific' minded in my thinking. Keep in mind there is actually nothing 'unscientific' about the Law... modern science has its own limitations in that we cannot measure many things.
What used to be called magic in years past is now under the realm of science right? I'm not saying I don't value logic and science... I have a science degree from a top 5 university.
I'm just saying your ego mind which wants to keep you stuck and surviving uses the excuse of logic and science when that's actually not the full scope of how reality works, we are incredibly limited in our conscious understanding of reality.... we don't even know what we're doing here on a floating rock in infinite space and we can hardly see much of the light spectrum as it is.
So remember that when your ego tries to believe in your limitations and the 3d reality only. You being here is magic that even the most advanced science does not know the answer to. Do scientists know fundamentally why there is something at all instead of nothing?
Anyway, one more thing is I've never been shy of making relatively bold and fast decisions, investing in a mentor (for business) and just generally betting on myself.
Because getting around people who think bigger than you and don't settle is a hack and it's worth every penny. There is a reason millionaires hang with other millionaires.
I'm not saying to cut people out of your life (unless toxic) but rather to seek proximity and get around winners or pay to join some mastermind in business or whatever you need to do to network in your realm.
Just last week I invested 7.5k for get into a network of high performing young male entrepreneurs just because I want a better network in real life and work on business tactics and execution. When I was 23 I invested 25k that I did not have at the time (I made it happen and earned it back) to get a business mentor. So I use all of this in combo with Neville's methods primarily. I really like revision method as well.
The act of DECISION literally creates a parallel reality and becomes the new bridge to your manifestation.

I have the following items for sale:  

Item	Condition	Original Purchase Date	Price
2* Western Digital Gold 16TB HDD	Sealed BNIB (OEM)	February 2023	$325 ea
Crucial MX500 2TB SSD (SATA)	Sealed BNIB	July 2022	$150
Oculus (Meta) Quest 2 128GB	Sealed BNIB (in the photos the adhesive in the seals at the sides of the box appears to have deteriorated over time, but they are intact and the box has never been opened)	November 2021	$215
2* Oculus Go 32GB	Sealed BNIB	December 2018	$150 ea
Atomos Ninja V (recording monitor for digital cameras), includes 2 unused PowerExtra NP-F970 batteries and SmallRIG 2905 cold shoe mount	Sealed BNIB (batteries and SmallRig mount were removed from box to display for photos but have never been used)	July 2022	$425
Panasonic Lumix GH5 (mk1) mirrorless MFT/m43 camera plus Lumix 25mm F/1.7	mint, virtually unused; less than 50 shutter actuations (I can’t figure out how to get the shutter count, but I’ve only got 31 photos on the SD card), never been outside, never mounted to tripod; includes original box and papers, cables, charger, unused strap, etc	November 2020	$750
Audeze LCD-2 Rev.1, includes original wooden/satin box, wood care oil, hex key and replacement arm parts, and two cables (I do not know what the cables are, but they are functional)	Fair-Good (purchased from Head-Fi Classifieds in Nov 2011, I believe I’m the third owner. They’ve probably had less than 50hrs of use since I’ve owned them and they’ve been stored in their box in my closet for the past 5 years [confirmed working and still sounding amazing on May 15th]. Previous owner said he’d used them less than 25 hours and that the owner before him had used them “moderately,” but I think these only released in 2011 so it can’t have been that much. The leather cushions could use some TLC or replacement, but I’ve seen some claims that this is the best sounding LCD-2 ever produced; box has split in the bottom but so far it seems structurally sound)	November 2011	$450
Apple AirPods Max in blue; AppleCare+ until January 2025; includes original box and papers and unused cable	excellent-mint (probably less than 30hrs of use)	October 2022	$400
Bundles:
Atomos Ninja V and MX500	per above	per above	$550
GH5 & Atomos (NO MX500)	per above	per above	$1100
GH5 & Atomos & MX500	per above	per above	$1200

  Prices include shipping. I accept Paypal. For the items that are factory sealed, I make no promises or claims about warranties—the HDDs and SSD are still within the original manufacturer warranty period and they have never been registered, but I don’t know whether you’d have any luck getting them registered and covered. The WD disks were both purchased direct from WD while the Crucial MX500 was purchased from Amazon. The other items are generally beyond their original manufacturer warranty (with notable exception of AirPods Max). It is possible that the batteries in the Meta Quest 2 or Oculus Go units, may have deteriorated over time, and I make no promises about the state of their batteries, only that the boxes have never been opened and the items never used.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/XIdus1PkoRM
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I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/ThrowRA999333
Originally posted to TrueOffMyChest
I(29F) made my step-father(50M) an outsider at my wedding that he paid for. I need to make it up to him but I dont know how.
Thanks to u/queenlegolas and u/Direct-Caterpillar77 for suggesting this BoRU
Trigger Warnings: child abandonment, emotional manipulation, possible exploitation
Original Post: May 6, 2024
I ruined the memory of the best day of my life because I was too blind to see what I was doing was hurting one of the most important people in my life. I got married 2 months ago to the love of my life, and he finally opened my eyes to what I did. He showed me the perspective I didnt understand.
When I was 5 my father left us. Just disappeared without trace. He and my mom were already separated by that point, but he was still living with us. 3 years later my mom started dating Rob. He was quite a bit younger than she was, I belive she was 34 and he was 26. Today he is very wealthy (he wasnt when he met my mom) and he treats my mother like a queen. Whenever she is around him she looks like the happiest person in the world. My younger sister looks a lot like me and mom, but her personality is for sure a reflexion of her dad, always telling jokes and being just a nice person all around while me and my mom are more serious and cold.
As I got older, Rob became more present in my life he got married to my mom and she got pregnant. But it was still pretty weird seeing him as a father figure mostly because people would asume he was my brother all the time. When I was in HS, I was dating this boy, and he broke up with me at my friends house. My mom was on a night shift and I had to ask Rob to pick me up. When he did, he conforted me, took me to get ice cream, and when we got home he told me something like this (without knowing what happened) "whoever made you sad doesnt understand that you are the best girl in the world, and its their loss. Dont beat yourself up because other people are too stupid to see it"
I just said to him "I wish you were my dad". He smiled and said that he wished that too, and he could be if I wanted to. We left it at that. I never called him dad. But from that point foward I saw him as a father and I think he knows it.
I finally reconected to my biological father about an year ago. It happened because I got engaged. When I came to my mom's house one day, he was there and I couldnt even recongnise him. He was way thiner than he was when I was a kid. He struggled for years with depression and substance abuse. My mom and Rob actually helped him get clean and they even paid for his stay at a great reabilitation center. They decided together that it was time for me to finally meet him again.
I dont want to explore much on how this was, but all I have to say is that im glad to have him back in my life and im glad for being able to help him heal. He sufered a lot, he got lost. But now he is at least trying.
Rob and my mother payed for everything at my wedding, and everything was amaizing. The church was beautiful, my husband looked amaizing. The one mistake I made: I chose my biological father over Rob. I chose the man that did abandon me for over 20 years over the one the took me as his own and gave me everything he could when he didnt have to. I chose the man that broke my mothers heart over the one that saved her. I dont know why I did what I did. Looking back on it I feel so fucking stupid. My dad didnt deserve to walk me down the aisle. My dad dint deserve to be in all the pictures with my mom and my husbands parents. It should have been Rob.
I dont know, I think I was compensating for the time lost with my dad. Everything was still so fresh with him. I was helping him out, he talked to me everyday, I felt like he deserved to be back in my life.
When we were deciding who would give speeches, we had to cut some because it was just too many and me and my husband didnt really like the idea of hearing speeches for and hour and a half. So we decided for 5 people each. When I gave the list to my husband he even asked "no Rob?" And I said "yeah, my mom is already doing one". The others I chose were 2 of my bridesmaids, my mom, my sister (she really pushed for it) and, again, my dad. My husband said I should reconsider, He even thought of giving up one of his to put Rob in. I said it was fine, he didnt need to do that. My whole thinking when doing this was that Rob has my sister. He will have his moment. This was the only chance my dad had.
But I went too far. I completly cut him out of the party basically. If you look at the photos it doesnt even look like he went. My mom looks like she is faking a smile in half the pictures. I dont have a single picture with him. He only apears in group pictures, and some with my husband.
I only realised all of this when I texted Rob 2 days ago, asking him about a gift im giving my husbands for his birthday. He anwsered. Then asked about my car that is with a mecanic friend of his. He awnsered. Then I asked him something about my insurance. He did not anwser. A little over an hour later my mom called me. She just said "do you have no shame? Do you not understand what you did?" I just listend and she told me not to talk to Rob for now. I was just so fucking confused. I got home and told my husband and he just said that he knows what she is referencing but he will talk to her first.
Later, he showed me the wedding photos, he went step by step on everything I have listed here. He talked calmly, and broke it down for me. By the end I was crying so much that I had a headache. What an inconsiderate idiot I am. He told me that he and my mom didnt tell me anything before the party because Rob asked them not to. He understood that it was important for me for my father to be a big part of this day and when they protested he said that they should not make me worry about these small things.
I dont know what changed from before the party to now. My mom only tells me that he needs a bit of time and that he will talk to me soon. My husband keeps telling me that I made a mistake but Rob will be understanding and will forgive me. And I know that he will. He 100% has already forgiven me. He probably felt something when I was texting him that day that broke him down. I dont know what I said to trigger him at that moment, but also it doesnt really matter. I did the real damage at the party probably since he apeared to be fine with everything else before it (It was not fine by any means)
I have to make it up to him. I dont know how but I just do. I guess im just writing this here because im a little lost. Im too ashamed to talk about it with anyone else I know apart from my mom and husband. She doesnt tell me anything and my husband keeps insiting that everything will be fine and for me not to worry too much about it. And he is probably right but I feel like me not worrying about this is just being incosiderate to Rob again. I have to worry. I just dont know what to do.
Im now at work, and the only thing I can think about is this. Nothing else matters to me right now.
If someone has any kind of idea of how I can make it up to him I would greatly appreciate it.
Edit: Literally 40 minutes after I uploaded this, my mom texted me saying that Rob wants to speak to me tonight.
Relevant Comments
OOP on the situation of her insurance and Rob

OOP: Actually, Rob does not pay for my insurance. He only helped me set it up. And this is not about money at all, I make more than enough money and my husband is also very well off. Rob and my mom paid for the wedding because they wanted to. They told me it would be their gift for me and they gave me the money to use it on the wedding. My husbands family gave us a sum to help pay for our new house.
But your comment made me realise that this might be the problem, he might think im using him for money. That just breaks my heart. I do not want his money. I would happly take myself out of the my mom's will and his (if he has me in it, which he probably does), if it means I can fix this.
Also, he was not rich at all when he met my mom. He became successful after their marriage. Just to clarify.

OOP on why she didn’t plan the wedding photos ahead of time

OOP: My plan was that I wanted spontanious pictures and the photographer had to be changed last minute. In my head it worked out fine, what I wanted was to have the "important" pictures taken early, bridesmades, groomsman and family and later on have just spontanious pictures.
It was something I was too stuck on, this notion of "wasting time" doing pictures, speaches, etc.
But that was such dumb thinking. Thats what wedding are for.
At the end of the day though, everything went great apart from this disastrous oversight of mine.

Top Comments
RevolutionaryHat8988: I want to hug Rob. We all need a Rob in our lives.
Deleted Commenter: You’re almost 30 and needed all of this pointed out to you?
You made multiple conscious choices to exclude Rob from your wedding and only cared after you brought up an issue with your insurance: another thing he helped to pay for.
At your age you should know that choices have consequences.
I’m not sure there is anything you can do to make up for the choices you made.
 
Update May 9, 2024
First, I want to say some things before posting:

1. No, I am not Linda, my biological father isnt dying. Got a DM in here asking.
   
2. My sister is mostly just sad, not really mad at me. Just said she understood my situation but it still was really shitty seeing her father taken for granted and sad.
   
3. My mother is the person most pissed off at me at the moment. She is the only one that still does not talk to me. I mean she does, but not really.
   
4. For the people saying my husband and mother were idiots for not talking to me before: they agree and have told me this. My husband specially. Im not trying to shift blame here, just saying this for the people that talked about it
   

I was not going to post anything else on here. Not a fan of being called names and for people to keep saying that Rob should leave our family. Although Im well aware that I deserve most of everything that was said about me. The coments saying "the apple doesnt fall far from the tree" in regaards to me and my biological father were the ones that hurt the most as it is a fear of mine and the reason I dont drink much and dont use any drugs or anything that could be addictive. But seing how there are other things that could make us more similar than I realised is really frightening.
The day I posted here, my mom told me Rob wanted to speak to me and to go to their home after work. I went and waited for Rob to arrive. When he did my mom left us alone and he started off by saying that he was hurt by what I did at the wedding, that he knows he is not my father and that he would never try to force that on me, but that he at least thought he had some sort of importance in my life and seeing me just not give him any importance apart from talking to him when I need help with something made him realise that I do not view him the he thought I did.
At this point I was already crying so much that I couldnt even talk. I waited for him to finish and when he did I just told basically what you all saw in the post. That I fucked up bad, that I was incosiderate, that he is one of the most importante people in my life and that what I did was unforgivable.
The only reason I am posting it here is because of something during the conversation. He said something about my time at college and I went "but that was because..." and stoped. He asked me "what? because of what" I just said "nothing, you are right, that was my fault and I should have done better".
He was pretty angry at that point and he started to smile and we talked about me taking responsibility for my actions. Its something I am terrible at, it was an issue at my old job and since then I have been trying to be better at it but not very successfuly. He asked what changed and I told him about the post. Multiple people in the comments said that I dont take responsibility and yes, they read right through me. I showed it to him and reading the post calmed him down.
And no, he did not read the comments, just the ones I showed it to him, I would not let him see what some of you were saying about my mom.
So yes, he told me if I was going to say something else to thank you people for calling me out for not taking responsibility.
We talked about a lot of other things not related to the wedding. At the end I just told him that there were 2 things I wanted to say for him to take away from this conversation: I really did mean it when I was in HS and said that I wished he was my dad. Even now, with my biological dad in my life. I still feel that way. And the second thing is that I know that it will be hard for him to belive it right now because of what happened, but I will try to prove it to him for as long as it takes.
For those interested, I`ve been going to a therapist with my biological father once every 2 weeks since he came back, but I think I need one for myself so I will try to make it happen soon.
I want to thank 3 particular commenters that helped me.

1. The person that told me to take it slow with Rob and dmed me to stop looking at the thread cause I was spiraling.
   
2. The one that said: "People fuck up. Sometimes badly. But in a loving and caring family it's never the end of things as long as you are willing to own your mistakes."
   
3. And most importantly the best comment that was fair and gave me the right advice: "You are a spoilt, selfish, childish person. I don’t know that rob will forgive you but you can’t simply wait to see if he does. Write him a letter in which you fully own up to your awful behaviour. Do not say “I wish someone had stopped me” - that isn’t taking accountability for the way you treat people. With him and your mom paying for your wedding and your in laws paying for your house - you need to grow up and reflect very seriously on how you interact with everyone around you."
   

I guess the post served as the letter in the scenario, thank you, that was the slap in the face I needed to realise that I need to do a lot of work to improve myself and that the wedding was not its own thing, it was a reflection of who I am right now and I dont like what I see when I look in the mirror. Also, Rob more or less told me something similar, just not as a agressive, so this comment made me take his words as not him atacking me, but trying to help me understand my flaws.
Im not sure how I will make up for this. Rob is telling me that over time, just me being how I was before my biological father showed up will be enough for him. I dont doubt him but its not enough for me. I will live with what I did for the rest of my life. I will always remember.
The way I am now I actually need people to call me out for this kinds of things and its not fair to them. I will work on it, I have to. I will try my hardest to not ever hurt anyone I love this way again. Thankfully now I have someone in my husband to help me do that and call me out if needed. Thank you.
 

DO NOT COMMENT IN LINKED POSTS OR MESSAGE OOPs – BoRU Rule #7

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT OOP

I'm a 4th year graduating student...but I don't know if I'm graduating. I'm just flying by everything without caring.
I'm not doing anything for our thesis anymore because I feel I've done enough. I've coded the entire website, both frontend and backend. All my team has to do is add features the panel wants, but they aren't even active aside from 1 guy who does the hardware.
If the other three group members just do the programming, it'll work out. But they're not doing anything, and that hardware guy keeps pressuring me to do the other features. Like I've done enough...why don't you ask the other guys to do work?
I'm so fed up of doing presentations too. I don't want to do anything like presentations for professors anymore. I'd much rather just be working and doing 1 job than doing all these shitty nonsense school work.
I hate my section, I hate my college. I never felt like I belonged in this place. I've only ever felt fine when I was doing my own thing, working freelance, talking to clients, and spending time with my girlfriend.
I don't like nor want to go out as well. I hate going out to get to school for some shitty attendance, presentation, or seminar. It can all be done online, so why not just do that?
I completely hate my college. I've lost so much of my passion for learning because of college. I learn things fine on my own, but never in college. This entire college thing is just being forced to do things to get a grade without even a job guarantee after all of it.
I just want to work, to not go to college anymore, I don't want to do this shit anymore. Maybe money is motivation, and I don't think that's wrong.
When will this end? I don't want to do research anymore. I hate presentations. I hate talking to professors. I hate meeting my classmates. I hate everything related to my college.
I hate this.
Edit: I guess being able to afford what I was only dreaming of after college assisted in getting me super burnt out. I was get 6 digits in savings to buy all the tech and hobbies I want through freelancing as a 20 year old. I'm able to do that without college, so I just don't want to do college anymore. My parents earn enough to make us live paycheck-to-paycheck too. My tuition is free as well.

DC Next presents:

I AM BATMAN

In True Crime
Issue Sixteen: Dark Hair And Face Paint
Written by ClaraEclair
Edited by PredaPlant & DeadIslandMan1
 
<< < Previous Issue Next Issue > Coming Next Month
 
 
Gotham University’s winter term was coming to an end, and that meant the resident varsity football team was finishing out their season — on home turf, no less. The Nighthawks were on a winning streak and were looking to finish off the season with a championship. The entire team felt the energy coursing through them as the stadium filled and crowd chants grew.
There were always major league scouts within the crowds at these types of games, especially for teams as impressive as the Nighthawks had been. There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that some of the players on the varsity team would be making it to the national league. The coach, as hard as he could be on his team, felt nothing but warm pride in his heart and mind.
Zack Howard, the captain of the Nighthawks, looked over the 120 yard field from the player entrance, listening to the roaring crowd chanting for the Nighthawks — even fans of the Princeton Tigers felt the pull toward cheering on the Gotham University team. Just as much as his coach, he felt pride in being able to carry his team this far. He hoped to give the best game he’d ever played, to be noticed by big league coaches and scouts.
“Zack!” He heard his coach shout from behind him, no doubt trying to shift his attention back to the locker room and preparations for the game ahead. Zack exhaled deeply and turned around to see Coach Fremlin approaching with a light jog, holding something in his hand. “Delivery for ya,” he said, handing the envelope to the captain. “Some girl said to give it to you, said there’s somethin’ special inside.” With a smirk, Fremlin clapped Zack’s shoulder before turning back toward the locker room.
Zack’s mind flooded with possibilities and fantasies about what could’ve been in the envelope. Something special could have been anything, and it excited him as he ripped it open. His expression quickly shifted, however, as he pulled a handwritten note out of the envelope, scribbled in nearly illegible handwriting.
”Zack Howard,” it read. He opened it, his brow furrowed, and watched as an instant print photograph fell out of the fold and onto the ground. One piece of clear tape had been shoddily applied to the corner and had clearly lost its adhesion. Leaning down, Zack picked up the photo and squinted, trying to make out the subject.
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“What the fuck is this?” he demanded. Confused, Fremlin chuckled nervously as he tried to grasp the small photo on his chest, not able to see the subject but only the fury in Zack’s face. The room fell totally silent as the entire team watched the coach and their captain with bated breaths.
“What do you mean?” asked Fremlin, turning the image over and squinting at it, trying to make out the details. Just as fast as Zack had initially made out the details, Fremlin’s face dropped at the realisation. “Holy God, Zack, I–”
“What the hell is this?!” Zack demanded once more, resisting the urge to grab his coach by the collar and push him against the wall. “Who gave this to you?”
“I– I don’t know, it was some girl,” Fremlin stuttered, fumbling over himself. “She was short, had black hair, face paint…”
“What’s it say on the back?” asked Tim Teslow, the team’s best running back, pointing toward the image and the messy scrawls on the back of it. Zack snapped it back out of Fremlin’s hands as the coach sat down, head in his hands.
“Section 204, Row 8, seat 9,” Zack read the note aloud. “I’m going to go see what this is,” he said through clenched teeth.
“Dude, that’s across the stadium,” said Cutter Karznowski, the wide receiver that had only joined at the start of the season. “The game’s starting in a few minutes.”
“I don’t care,” Zack snapped back. “I’m going.”
 
 
Good evening, Gothamites, I hope you enjoyed that last one — Barcode by Self-Sacrificial. It’s always been a personal favourite of mine, straight to the point with the best beats and deepest riffs.
In the same spirit, I’ll get straight to the point of why today’s a big day for me — you’ve all known this was coming but I never quite said what it was. When I started this show a little over a year ago, I wanted to look at the dirt of the world. I wanted to bring you my favourite music while trying to figure out my favourite events in this city.
I’ve talked about all the legends, I’ve talked about Joker, Mister Freeze, and so many others. I’ve talked about new shooters like Man-Bat and Professor Pyg. I’ve even, unfortunately, shed some light on the unoriginal copycat hacks that have started popping up in recent years. It’s all been out of love, though. Love for the mind of those who would commit these atrocities, appreciation for what they are and what they represent.
There’s a reason why they are what they are, and it’s always been a goal of mine to love and appreciate what they put into the world. It’s all about the chaos.
But, today, I won’t be talking about that. Today, I’ll be talking about football. Before you all start booing me, it’s my special day and it’s my show, so I get final say. Specifically, it’s the big championship game for the Gotham University Nighthawks. I went to school with these guys, I feel… an obligation.
I’m excited to see how the game will turn out. I get the nagging feeling that their winning streak might come to an end.
 
 
Section 204 in the Gotham Knights stadium, on the north side of Tricorner Island, the southernmost landmass of Gotham, was filled to the brim with spectators and fans. All were cheering as they waited and watched the Gotham University Nighthawks enter the field below, while Zack spent his time searching the section for a small woman with black hair and face paint.
Despite the difficulty of sifting through the crowded seats, he couldn’t find a woman matching that description. He looked back down at the photograph’s note and read it again, making sure he was in the right spot. The location remained the same: Section 204, row 8, seat 9.
People called out his name, but he was quick to shrug them off. He was too focused on finding the woman who’d sent him the photograph. Even asking those who’d been sitting within section 204 had proved fruitless, with no one being able to say anything about the described woman.
Angry and dejected, Zack turned back toward the steps between sections to head back down to the field when something caught his eye as he moved.
“Sir!” He called out, angling his head toward a man two rows above him, pointing beneath his seat. “Sir, what’s that under your seat?” There was some sort of flashing light taped to the bottom of the seat, slowly pulsing between purple and green.
The man looked confused, leaning forward to take a look at what Zack had pointed at, eyes widening the moment he saw the wiring that he sat atop. A complex series of wires and lights traced their way around each seat in the section, though neither he nor Zack could see what, exactly, the wires were attached to.
“I don’t–”
The man could only shout out those few words before a loud explosion rocked the stadium, blasts running down the portion of the stadium from rows 12 to 4. Dozens of seats were annihilated as smoke, fire, and green gas erupted. Cries of pain and fear replaced the cheers of the spectators.
Blood tainted the intact seats while the smoke rose into the air, infiltrating the sky of southern Gotham, visible from all along the city’s coast. What fell across the stadium, permeating nearly every seat on the west side of the stadium, making its way into the halls that traced the inner workings of the building, was a thick green gas, forcing its way into the lungs of the men and women who were running for their lives, trampling each other.
Those closest to the explosion felt intense convulsions in their abdomens and spasms in their faces, involuntarily forced to bear wicked grins while their shattering breaths overtook the screams of terror in the form of wicked laughter.
Amidst the chaos, the charred photo that Zack once held fell slowly and gracefully, slightly charred, ignorant of the horror that it had been subject to. Slightly charred, it landed a few sections away from the explosions, trampled upon by infected spectators who had no idea what was being done to them.
 
 
A Few Minutes Earlier…
James Gordon’s office at the Gotham City Police Department headquarters was quiet as he sat at his desk, resting his elbows on its surface with his hands clasped, opposite Astrid Arkham, the frail-seeming daughter of Jeremiah Arkham. She had requested a meeting with him, and he had assumed it was for an update into Batman’s investigation into her father.
“Gotham City needs something new,” she began, catching him by surprise. His eyes widened slightly, then his brow furrowed. “We’ve been in this… this state of insanity for decades now, and it is only getting worse. This city is no longer livable, Commissioner.” He resisted the urge to groan. The only difference in Gotham City as it was and the Gotham City of before was that the murders had become spectacle.
When supervillains pushed out mobsters and gangsters, there was a shift in crime, but the results remained the same. Salvatore Maroni and Carmine Falcone knew how to keep their business quiet to the public unless they were in active war. Those were the good old days, now.
“Insane, maniacal supervillains,” she continued. “They rule the streets whenever they so choose. The police cannot deal with them, not under you. You rely on the Batman,” there was venom in her voice as she spoke the name, “and she sweeps up the problems while bringing deranged cultists and assassins into this city. She’s the heir of a small personal army with untold technology and she runs free. The Joker Riots, the assassin siege, Simon Hurt, all because the Batman has infested this town with these misguided thoughts of the supernatural, supposedly haunting our city.” Gordon remained silent.
“Essen’s incentives are now failing,” she said, watching Gordon closely for a reaction. If he gave one, she couldn’t see it. “How many companies that were enticed by her incentives have moved headquarters out of Gotham? They pay nothing in taxes, they have Essen licking their boots, and it’s still not enough. Despite all that’s happened, we haven’t been through hell yet, Commissioner. We’ve only arrived at the gates.”
“If I may, Miss Arkham,” said Gordon, leaning back in his chair, scanning the young woman up and down. “What’s your point?” He understood what she was saying, and he feared she was right, but he didn’t like the conclusion she was bringing forth.
“You are antiquated, Commissioner,” she replied, her face straight. “Obsolete. Your methods don’t work anymore, the law you uphold is no longer effective. Besides that, you are getting old. I can see the fatigue in your face, the bags under your eyes, your paleness. You’re not the detective you used to be.” Astrid leaned forward in her seat, putting her weight on her cane. “Gotham needs something new.”
Gordon’s phone rang, and for a brief moment he was thankful for the reprieve — but only for a moment.
 
 
I’d say I feel bad for the people at the Nighthawks game, but, if I’m totally honest, they had it coming. It’s about time everything caught up to them.
While we all ruminate on what’s happening at the game right now, let’s listen to some good music. This is Confetti by Viscera.
 
 
Batman had listened to as many notes as she could about a green gas that made anyone who inhaled it laugh uncontrollably. It typically led to suffocation through the inability to control the diaphragm, but this time it didn’t, and it confused the Dark Knight. A familiar sight, an attack that resulted in eery laughter, and yet it wasn’t what the city had seen before. None of the victims that hadn’t been in the initial blast had died, though medical care for each of them was necessary.
As much as she cursed herself for being late, not able to save anyone as the events unfolded, she knew that she needed to take control as fast as possible. She, along with every person in the city, dreaded what this attack meant. The name of a particular clown lingered on everyone’s tongues, though no one dared invoke his name.
Batman wasn’t so sure, and she hoped that her gut feeling was right. Most of the bodies that were recoverable had been extracted from the blast zone, over a dozen dead and dozens more injured. Blood and soot equally covered the destroyed seats, and even more on the concrete below.
One thing caught Batman’s eye amidst the mess, two sections away from the initial blast. A small instant print photograph, half burnt, laid on the ground, covered in dirty boot prints. She picked it up and looked it over, squinting as she studied the subject.
It was a blonde woman, head down with wet hair covering her face. Almost lost in the details was a small trail of blood behind the hair, mixing with trailing makeup. Batman frowned as she flipped the image over, seeing the note for a specific seat in the section of the stadium that had been blown to bits.
She approached the seat and kneeled, ducking down to see under the seat. It was one of few that remained intact after the explosions. Zack Howard’s Final Stop was scratched into the bottom of the seat, and at the sight of it, Batman signalled to Oracle to scan the engraving. She couldn’t identify the woman in the photograph, but she could see clearly enough that the attack was targeted at a specific person.
Another killer, she thought to herself, fearing what it could mean for the city. Pyg almost tore the richest members of the city’s economy apart, and they were ready to throw their own to the wolves. Now, there’d been a deadly gas attack at a football game — one that had been sponsored by many of Gotham’s elite.
The idea that the Clown Prince of Crime had returned was already making its way through the city — Batman knew she would have to exert control over everything she could to keep it from tearing itself apart at the seams. She was more than prepared to do so.
“It doesn’t look good,” she said to Oracle.
“Yeah,” she said, her voice distant. “I hope it’s just another copycat, they’re much easier to deal with.”
“I don’t know,” Batman replied, looking back at the photograph. “Something’s different.”

Good day! I am about to enter college under a STEM-related course and I have to make the decision of whether upgrading to a new phone (iPhone 14 Plus or Android equivalent) or get a tablet (iPad Air) + pencil. My old phone is an Android 2019 model, hence why many have said to simply buy a new phone instead of a tablet. But I thought, wouldn't a tablet be better for studying (like, reading digital notes/textbooks)? Then, I also thought, wouldn't a phone be more useful since it is more portable and I could use it for communication?
If possible, I would like to hear at least your opinions. I'm just curious. In the end, the decisions would fall to me anyway 😭

I own an old store that has handled over 40 transactions. Initially, it sold digital products, but now I'm considering selling something else and I'm at a loss for ideas.

I had a few dreams today, after struggling to stay asleep. Yet again. I've been having adrenaline every time I wake up, for several days now. Waking up from muscle spasms/aches. It feels as if I'm having an allergic reaction to something I ate.
I was in a mall, with a transporting device. I had dreamt about cake for hours, seeing a lemon crust and cream filling. The top probably had something on it, that I'm forgetting. Now, I was stepping into this machine/portal. The escapism, was exhilarating. I wished I could stay here forever.
It sent me to a section in the mall, where I saw another person. I ran away from my family, then met this interesting personality. I can't remember what she said to me. She could've been an antagonist. In the next dream, I was at my sister's boyfriend's house. He talked to me, looking at old photos of me as a toddler on the wall. 'Those look like shark eyes.' I remarked, picking one up where my eyes were dilated. He mentioned a photo where I was standing beside the/a christmas tree. Another one, where my eyes were also noticeable. That might've been the one he was talking about. I saw the christmas tree photo, and didn't like myself in any of them. On the tv, an ad for IMAX came on. I wondered what event horizon would be like on the screen there. The commercial was advertising for a new boring oscar-type film. A girl then approached me, asking me about who my favorite euphoria characters were, by just mentioning their fist names, out of context. 'I don't watch euphoria.' I said, amusing her. 'You're funny..' She replied, genuinely. Her voice was real, distinguishable. It felt so real. 'Everytime you talk/respond, your eyes sparkle/twinkle..' She said. I mentioned that I'm a pisces; that pisces and aquarius are known for having mystical eyes. Eyes that look subhuman. She agreed, mentioning friends of hers with those signs. I loved her energy. It was so high vibrational and blissful. Earlier, I had telepathically saw someone park their car in a parking lot. My teachers walked past me, annoyed by my presence.
'They dilate when I talk, probably.' I mentioned. 'Jupiter.' Doing a hand signal, to show expansion; which she immediately understood. 'Jupiter also rules pisces..' She nodded. My mercury placement could cause my eyes distinction too, I thought mentally to myself. There was a stack of something white next to me, maybe opal. I turned away from my side, to look at the glass case full of sega games behind me. 'I was too young for sega genesis.' I said to myself, seeing a guy in the corner of my eye. The IMAX ad came on a second time. This time I recognized it. I turned to shove fruity pebbles straight into my mouth. Mandy moore started playing, singing about god. It was top of the world, but with a religious theme.

TW - Narcissistic Abuse, thoughts of suicide, 8 month old daughter
Hey everyone. Hope you are all doing well. Just looking for some support here. If any moms have faced a similar situation please please please reach out. I’m dying to have support or a friend to chat with
To make a long story short… I was married. For 1.5 years. My spouse turned out to be a narcissistic abuser and destroyed every bit of confidence I have. Used to spit on me in public, call me names, anything you can think of… you name it. I got pregnant unexpectedly in Jan 2023, and had my daughter at 30 weeks in august. She was in the NICU for 3 months. I saw her every single day in those months
I finally made a big decision to leave my spouse in December. I packed my bags in a hurry and left to stay at a friends home before moving into a shelter in Maryland for abused women.
Eventually I let my ex see my daughter because his mother was in town and wanted to meet her. I figured it would give me a break too to lol for work and finish up my studies (I’m in college online). A few days later I get a photo of my ex and my baby and his mother on a plane to California. They took her and all of her belongings and emptied our old rental and left.
Then we fought in court for custody and ultimately I gave him full custody because I was:

1. Scared of my ex for retaliation like he always does
2. I had bad PPD due to my abuse from him and feeling stressed
3. The guardian ad litem said it’s best for our daughter to stay with him because he makes a good salary and has family support in California whereas I was not working at the time, technically homeless, and did not have family support or money.

I live in Maryland for reference.
I haven’t seen my daughter since February. She’s 8 months old. I keep asking my ex now that I have a good job and money and almost done with my degree if we can live close to eachother so we can coparent, he keeps denying it. He makes it very clear she is his daughter and he is raising her as a single father. I’m literally begging him to let her be in my life and spend nights with me if I move to California. He constantly denys it and says it’s better if I am non existent in her life.
Like what do I do? I feel like a failure. I am extremely depressed as I feel my heart is so empty. I just want her in my arms and to sleep next to her. I just constantly think about how I would rather just end the pain and kill myself but I know that’s not a option. Everyday just feels like daunting and I just feel like if I don’t have her in my life, then what’s the point?
Please please please don’t leave me any negative feedback. I went through so much narcisssitc abuse that at the time I wasn’t even thinking correctly, and I even told the court about the abuse I faced and no one would listen. I just feel like I have ultimately screwed the future outcome of both mine and my daughters life.